#this got really depressing i'm so sorry that wasn't supposed to happen
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💕 for your drrr insert!
MAN WHERE DO I START
she's so. she's really just the whole package. she does arson. she carries a knife around. she's been in multiple gangs. she spends all her time watching anime and playing video games. she writes self ship fanfiction. she's got a skewed moral compass. she's a tsundere. she has horrible trauma. everyone in ikebukuro desires her carnally. /j
she's so funny because every time you think you've got a grasp on who she is as a person, you realize that you don't — but you do, but you also don't at all. on the surface, she just seems like some kind of weirdo nerd who prefers fictional worlds to the real one — which is true; but then you realize it's because, on top of just being a hobby, that was how she coped with every bad thing the real world forced onto her. and then you realize she's Been Through It™, so you think she's anxious and scared of the world, but that can't be further from the truth — she's a little codependent maybe (though, is it really considered codependency if it's more so the notion of "i've been with this person for damn near a decade, so no kidding i'd be utterly lost if he suddenly disappeared"?), and she still gets scared of things, but she's pointedly unfazed by things she probably really should be fazed by. like that one incident — you know the one; the one with the kidnapping. that one fucked her up — she still, every now and then, has nightmares about that night — but she can still look the guy who did that in the face and mouth off to him without so much as breaking a sweat.
but she's also just... so tragic. she's better now — it's easier to bury now; easier to act like herself again — but there's still so much genuine sadness lingering just below her surface. the seemingly endless amount of fanfics she writes about her and whatever 2D man she's currently into might just seem like a weird hobby at first — and it is — but it's also the only way she can really allow herself to even be loved in the first place. for as much as she thinks about it — hell, for even as much as she's surrounded by it — the concept of a real, tangible love scares her. so she avoids it — denies it in herself; denies it when it's looking her in the face; avoids it at every turn; convinces herself that it doesn't exist at all. if she ignores it, she doesn't have to face it. if she tells herself the person hitting on her isn't serious, then she doesn't have to be, either. if she convinces herself that she's too broken to ever be loved, then being alone won't hurt as much.
but it does hurt — but if she pretends it doesn't, maybe she'll be able to handle it for a little bit longer.
#♡ — asks#this got really depressing i'm so sorry that wasn't supposed to happen#i was just kind of rambling my thoughts and got on a tangent#brought on partially by me listening to her playlist while typing this#uh. anyway! if you want just a straight Lore Dump i can do that too#there's a lot to cover there too uvu#♡ hannah tag!#☆ — 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐲. [ drrr!! ]
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Dull shine part 2 pleeeeease 😫❤️ ur srsly talented!!!
Dull Shine | Part Two
Summary: An advice and looking into the mirror makes Kylian understand why you left.
Warnings: cursing, depression topic, money issues.
A/N: It's meeee hiiii, I'm the problem it's ME. Sorry about taking so much time, I was solving some personal things, and now I'm freeeee 😫✨️ love you all so much ❤️
Also, heads-up, this is short because I think it's all it needs, not a full part two, more like a compliment that seals the deal 😀❤️
Part one
One day left.
That's what Kylian told himself when he woke up.
One day left for you to come back.
He can't deny that he wasn't the most excited person in the room the next day at practice. Everybody noticed, it was like everybody knew what happened that night.
But not at Luis Enrique's home. At his own, when he told you to move on from the problem he created.
When he ignored you, back turned to you. When you needed him the most. Every time he thinks about it, his heart sinks. It's a weight he's not able to lift.
His mother was the first to notice your absence. He walked into his home with something for you and you weren't there.
The first excuse. "She's working late."
Then it was Ethan. He called you to go to the movies and have a fun night. Wanting to see you after being busy with the team.
The second excuse. "She's sick, have a cold."
They both believed his words. Thinking you were being taken care of by him. But when the excuses kept coming. It wasn't normal anymore.
"Just be honest, we are your family." Fayza says. Sitting next to him. "Tell us what happened."
He sighs, ready to finally disclose his feelings. "She left a week and a half ago." He confess. Hands covering his face. "We had a fight, I said some things just days before, and she wasn't at the right mental place to deal with everything."
They didn't understood. How?
"What do you mean she left?" Ethan asks, standing up from his seat. "She left just like that? You let her leave just like that?"
"What was I supposed to do?" Kylian fights back. "She had her things packed, her ticket purchased and I thought that was the best thing. Don't you think this hurts me?"
"I can't believe you, Kylian. You lie to us, instead of admit that you fucked up. You lie straight to our faces."
"I was hurt, Y/n left, I was scared of facing that."
Fayza is silent, processing the information while her sons yell at each other.
"Enough, Ethan, sit down." She orders. "Kylian, you two broke up?"
He shakes his head no. "She just needed time. We were just not working together in understanding each others probl-"
"More like you weren't." Ethan interrupts. "Because all I hear is me, me, me. But you don't really think that same thinking got you where you are?"
He didn't fight back.
He knows his little brother is right.
"When will she be back?" His mother asks, worried expression.
"In a few days."
And those few days turned into just a few hours.
To be honest with himself, he was stressed. You were going to be back in Paris, but we're you going to be back with him?
Will the break become a breakup?
He was overthinking. That was not good.
Hakimi felt bad. He knew you better. When he heard what Kylian told him about you leaving, about Pamela belittling you, he checked his cameras.
The good thing about having money is that you can afford a very good quality security system. He heard how Pamela attacked you first. You then answered back, but you weren't going to let yourself get insulted.
He apologized to you over text. Asking you to forgive him and tell you how much guilt he feels about this whole situation.
When you read the texts, you felt weird. It wasn't his fault, or even Pamela's.
Everything was a mix of frustration, sadness and low self-respect you had for yourself.
You defend yourself from Pamela, but who was going to defend you from yourself?
You were the one belittling yourself.
Were you enough? You are.
But were you feeling enough? No.
Were you happy with Kylian?
And that question burned your mind for days.
You loved Kylian, he was your rock and you were his rock. You passed some critical times, but nothing like this.
Because he was there for you when you needed him the most, he was there when you lost someone, he was there when you felt homesick, he was there at you happiest.
But you didn't allow him to he at your lowest.
You notice how he was going out more, but he always asked you to come with him. Begged you to leave the house and accompany him.
You notice how he never heard you talk. But you barely even made conversation. You let him speak. When it was your turn, you only said, "I had a good day."
He had to fulfill the quietness with words.
Your mother asked you to think about therapy. Maybe there was something you needed that she or anyone couldn't understand. Something only you could.
And you did. You went to therapy while you were there. Every two days.
It was just the beginning, but it helped you understand that you had more than just a relationship problem. In fact, the relationship problem came from this.
Being blue is normal. We all feel like that.
But when you don't treat it, it can be rough. And you were doing that now, understanding that you needed help. Help that a trip home won't give you. Help that a fight with your friends new girlfriend won't give you.
But help that your lover can give you. He can be the hand to hold during this.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"Yes, I know now what I need to do." You say, hugging your friend.
You felt nervous about coming back.
Would he be okay with that?
Did he realize he didn't need you anymore?
If only you knew how anxious he is at Paris. Watching the time every five minutes to see if your arrival time is coming closer.
He prepared your favorite meal. Got your favorite dessert, your favorite drink and even prepare everything for a bubble bath.
He needed you to know how much he appreciates you, how important you are for him.
You were nervous too, your leg bouncing and bitting your nails. You brought him a gift from your home. Something he asked you a long time ago, and you never got due to not being able to travel back home.
You asked for an Uber. Not wanting his chauffeur to pick you or him to get out in the coldness of Paris.
The whole drive was painful. You were overthinking.
Both of you were.
"Would she be back to stay?"
"Is this going to end?"
"What if he doesn't want me back?"
"What if this is the end?"
"Madame, we are here." The Uber called your attention once your things were next to you on the street.
"Merci beaucoup." You say, paying him and telling him that you will take it from here.
You open the gate with your control. The sound of it interrupting the calm of the evening.
When he heard the sound, his heart stopped for a second. He was about to throw up from nerves.
The giggle of the keys makes him stop, he feels like throwing up. He took a sip of water before looking at himself on his phone camera, checking if he looked presentable.
The smell of food hits you as soon as you walk inside. Leaving your suitcase by the stairs and slowly walking inside trying to find him.
His back welcomes you, he's focused on his phone to notice you walking into the kitchen. The table was ready, your favorite food ready to be served.
"Kyks?"
He turns quickly, smiling at you with soft eyes. He walks with open arms to you. You lock your arms behind his back, feeling his kisses on your face.
"Mon amour." He kiss your forehead. "How was your flight? Did you even sleep? Are you hungry? I made your favorite meal and I was waiting f-"
You interrupted him by kissing his lips, and all the worries from both of you are out the door. You know he's not mad, and he knows you still love him.
"It was good. Thank you for updating my seat." You answer his questions. "I did sleep, almost all the flight, and I'm very hungry. Thank you for cooking. I can't wait to try it."
He kiss you on the lips, smiling into the kiss. His safe space is back with him. There is nothing better right now.
He pulls you to the chairs, serving you the food and drink. You can tell he was happy. He looked fresh.
You eat in silence. The peace of it is different than before. There was no more weird silence that a video or keyboard sound filled.
"Thank you, I really appreciate this."
He nods, waiting for the right time to talk about all the things that need to be talked about. He lays his head on your shoulder. Kissing your neck.
You feel the same. You want to jump and talk about everything to end the topic and move on. But that was not the way.
However, procrastinating the conversation wasn't the way either. "Let's talk. The faster, the better." You smile.
"Impatient much?" He jokes. Standing up and taking the plates to the sink. "Let's go to the living room?"
You nod, standing up and grabbing his hand, directing him to the big fluffy couch you both love.
"I want to start." He says as soon as his body falls into the cushion.
"Okay, lovie." You smile.
He thinks for a second, how can he ask what he needs to ask? He knows that no matter what, it will hit.
"Why weren't you honest about you having money issues?"
Your expression didn't change. You knew he knew. Celine asked you to pick your check a few days after you asked her you were taking a few days off to rest your mind.
You asked Kylian to pick it up, and Celine gave him a piece of her mind. She felt bad about doing it and called you a few hours later.
She told him that he was an asshole if he couldn't even tell that you were having issues not only with your peace of mind but with how much you worked and felt bad about never been able to match the lifestyle he was.
"I don't have money issues, Ky." You say, low but enough for him to hear. "What I had was the concept that I needed to have a certain amount of money to be enough for you. Leading to me working extra and feeling less than everybody who was around and could give themselves the benefit of spending what I earned in a nightclub."
He nods, understanding. "You know that I'm not like that, right?"
"I do. You always supported me in any way you could. And I'm grateful for you. I just felt so out of place." You sigh. "And every girl who got close to your friends always asked me about your ex, how she was this way and this way. I felt like competing."
He can feel his heart sinks. He never wanted you to compare yourself to the girls he dated. There was a reason why he was done with those relationships.
"You are so smart." He says, hand caressing your cheek. "You have no idea how much I ever wanted to end with someone like you. Not only beautiful but a very strong woman who doesn't need other peoples opinions and who can shine on her own."
You can feel your eyes watering. You never thought that his words were something you needed, but you did.
"My ex-girlfriends are just that. Exes. You are my present and my future." He kiss your cheek. "And I want you to know that no amount of money or any girl who I ever got anything with is going to take the place you have in my heart. You are the one."
Your lips found his, you can't think of any future plans or anything that didn't include him. You know he was your one, and knowing you are his one is heartwarming.
"I'm sorry, I know I was acting like a bitch. I think I felt way too comfortable, and I was so wrong for not noticing that you weren't you. I promise I'm not going to let that happen again."
"Thank you for that." You smile. "I'm sorry too, I was overwhelmed with all the thoughts in my mind. I think I let the worst of it hit me and never paint mind to it."
"It's okay." He brings your hand to his mouth, kissing it. "You have me, and I'm going to be with you every step of the way."
The warmth in your heart is hard to describe. You are sure he will be with you no matter what. The same way you were for him when he needed you.
You hug him, falling into his embrace. His hands caressing your body while he left sweet words in your ear.
"We are going to be okay because we have each other." He kiss your lips and your head. "Tu m’as et je t’ai. Je t’aime, tu es mon monde." He humms.
#football#football fanfic#football angst#kylian mbappe imagine#kylian x reader#kylian angst#kylian mbappe x reader#football fluff#kylian fluff#football x you
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MEAN IT - JACK CHAMPION 🌻
“Maybe that thing you said under your breath, you mean it” - Gracie Abrams 🌞
Content includes: Argument :( but making up after!
My first Jack Drabble/story thing? Anyways, hope you enjoy 🤗🌻
<3
<3
<3
You wrapped yourself in a blanket, wet tears staining your face as Jenna and Mel tried to comfort you. "He's not worth it, you're so much better than him. He was probably just upset. Y/n you're the most selfless person we know" you sniffed, wiping away more tears that fell from your eyes, lightly coating your lashes.
"He's an asshole, and he deserved to be broken up with. He shouldn't have taken his anger out on you" Mel sighed, rubbing your back and handing you a tissue.
You replayed last night's events in your head. Jack had just come home from filming to find you waiting for him, an annoyed look on his face. "You don't usually get home this late" "Just something with my manager, they made me film for more time" You bit your lip, head tilted as he took off his shoes. "You could've texted me, I was worried" "Sorry, I'm not gonna be here all the time Y/n, you know that" his tone was off. He was definitely tired but he had never acted this way towards you. "Why are you acting like this?" You frowned, your feelings hurt. "Forget it Y/n, we're both tired. Let's just go to bed" You furrowed your eyebrows. "What's wrong-?" "I'm not just yours, Y/n...stop being so selfish" he spoke under his breath. It was like a stab to your heart.
It broke out into a big argument, ending up in the two of you breaking up. Jack wasn't the one to continue a fight. You could tell something was really bothering him. But you couldn't unhear his cruel, mumbled words. Selfish...really?
"I feel selfish, I know he meant it. He knows me better than anyone" You cuddled yourself up in a ball, more tears falling. It was like his sentence just got louder in your head. It's all you could hear. You tried to ignore it, but it's all you could think about.
Jack <3
Jack <3: Y/n, please I'm so sorry
I didn't mean anything I said. I'm sorry
Jack <3: I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you
You're the best thing that's ever happened to me
Jack <3: I don't want it to end like this
You stared at the screen. Blue and white light shining on your face as you reread the texts. You weren't sure what to text back, biting your lip as your fingers hovered over the keyboard. "Don't text him back, Y/n" You looked up, Mason snatching your phone from your hands. A sigh escaped your lips, arms crossed as you stumped down in the chair. "I'd expect this from Jenna or Jasmine but not you. Aren't you Jack's friend?" You rolled your eyes, snatching back your phone.
"Taking a friendship break, what he did was fucked up" "Hence why he's not here" Jasmin smiled. "It's been a week! A week! How am I supposed to just ignore him, it was just a fight. There's no way we're officially breaking up because of a small fight" Jenna glanced at you, sorry in her eyes as she looked up at the rest of the group.
"Text him Y/n, I give you permission" You just shook your head. "I don't even know what to say" You slumped over all the way on the couch, closing your eyes as the room filled with sound. "Have you written a song about it?" "Surprisingly, no. But I should"
As soon as you got home you sat down by your piano, your mind scrambled trying to find the right words for the song. Songwriting came to you naturally, so this was frustrating. After a couple of hours of googling words and trying to find the right piano keys, you finished your song. You recorded a quick video to send to your producer, going back to staring at the messages Jack had sent you. This time there was more added, the most recent being him stating that he was coming over to fix his mistake.
Your eyes widened, staring at the messy living room you had let your depressed state ignore. You groaned, picking yourself up to clean up. It wasn't that bad...maybe it was a little bad. But you had the house clean in less than an hour.
You weren't actually expecting him to show up, his face flushed in a guilty look when you opened the door. "I'm sorry Y/n, I can't tell you how much I regret this. I miss you..." he rambled as you zoned out. His words turned into nothingness as you stood there. "Did you actually mean it?" You held back tears as you stood by the door.
"No, what? You're the sweetest, most caring person I've ever met. I don't wanna lose you...I know what I said was fucked up. I was an asshole to you. And you didn't deserve that" His eyes were glossy, looking down at you. You couldn't help but break into a smile as he waited for you to respond.
He was confused but relieved when you pulled him into a hug. "Better be lucky I didn't write a breakup album about you" "Oh yea no, so lucky. But you definitely wrote a song. Didn't you?" "Hmm, maybe just one"
#jack champion#cute#fanfic#celebrities#ethan landry#scream#fiction#avatar#ethan landry x y/n#jack champion x y/n#jack champion x reader#cuteness#drabble#oneshot#jack champion oneshot#gracie abrams#asethics#romantic#taylor swift
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Medusa
Millions Knives x GN Reader
Synopsis: you get a tattoo from the sexy blonde bitch
Warnings: mentions of sexual assault
A/N: i think medusa tattoos are really sick ngl
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
His hand tightened on your thigh, stopping you from squirming around. "Stay still."
Easier said than done. Your spine tingled as he finished peeling back the paper with your design. Why were his hands so soft? Wait.
Maybe a hip tattoo wasn't the best idea, not only for the pain level but also for your sanity. You weren't thinking straight when you decided on this for your first-ever tattoo. Depressive nights with glasses of alcohol will do that to you. But a hot tattoo artist, that's the dream, right? Platinum blonde hair, snake bite piercings, and a deadpan stare as he inspected the example pattern he had copied onto your skin. However, you had conveniently forgotten how awkward you were when it came to talking to attractive people, so the fact that he was touching you (on your hip)? You wanted to die. His face was so close to your leg, and you could feel his breath on your skin. Trying to distract yourself, you examined his name tag. "Nai" was printed in neat handwriting, but you were reading it as if you hadn't stalked his social media before the appointment.
After he was satisfied with the placement of the design, he walked over to a rolling cabinet, took out a fine liner and a bottle of black ink, and then came to sit back down on the stool next to you. "Are you uncomfortable? Do you require anything before we get started?"
You shook your head no, and he gave you an affirmative nod before he motioned you to get into position again. You laid back and gripped the sides of the chair, shuddering as you heard the electric buzz of the tattoo gun. God, this was going to hurt, wasn't it? You winced as the needle made contact with your skin, but it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. There was silence for the first few minutes of the process because you were too anxious to even speak. You were worried that you would either say something dumb or mess up the tattoo by suddenly fidgeting; both scenarios caused by this idiotic mini-crush you had on this man.
"This tattoo design..." You tried your best not to jump as Nai suddenly spoke. "I trust you know the common reason why people get it, right?" Your chest closed in on itself, and you felt your body go frigid. Out of all the conversation starters he could've picked, he chose this one?
A weighty sigh left your mouth, and you tried your best to continue without creating more awkward tension. "If you're talking about what I think you are, then yes, that's why I got it," His hand started to grip the side of your hip to stretch the skin slightly, making your head fuzzy. "It's not something I like to discuss, but that could be said for anyone. More than anything, I want to try and move past it. I thought that if I got something permanent that reminded me of my healing process, then every time I looked at it, I would find the strength to keep going."
The tattoo gun buzzing suddenly stopped, and you glanced down to see Nai looking at you with a somewhat sympathetic expression. It was hard to tell with his cold eyes. A few moments passed before he continued working, his gaze leaving yours. "I see. I'm sorry to hear that happened to you, but I admire your resilience. Not many people dare to confront their trauma the way you are."
You smiled sadly as you looked back up at the ceiling. "I suppose so. But I wish it never happened at all." Your mind flashed back to that night, and you felt a chill settle in your chest. Sometimes, you thought it was bound to happen one way or another, even though you knew that you did nothing to warrant what that person put you through. Maybe it was a way for you to cope; if you tried to apply reason to the assault, it would be easier to heal. Wouldn't it? But if that was the case, how come you still wanted to cry every time you thought about it? There was a wetness on your cheek, and you realized that you were tearing up. Great.
"Do you find you've lost hope in people after it? One could imagine that that kind of experience would leave a rather poor taste in the mouth."
"Sometimes. But one variable doesn't represent the entirety. I think that there are still good people out there. I was just unfortunate enough to have met the wrong one."
The rest of the session went on in relative silence, only exchanging words when you had to take breaks in between. After a few more hours, he stopped again and tapped the flesh of your hip with his finger. "All done. Have a look."
You sat up, stretching as you took the mirror he gave you to examine your tattoo. A huge smile came on your face as you saw the detailed Medusa design on the side of your body, and you looked back at him with glee. "It's perfect, exactly like how I imagined."
Nai chuckled quietly as he leaned down to your hip again, seemingly examining his work. "It's simply the linework. We'll finish the coloring in another session to give you a rest." His hand ran across your skin, and you shivered at the touch.
Okay, now he's just teasing me.
He sat back up and took his gloves off with a loud snap, looking at you with an unreadable expression. You turned away, trying to avoid his eyes as you collected your stuff and pulled out your wallet. "Here's the first payment, can I DM you on your account to set up the next appointment?"
"Instead of that, I'll give you this," He gave you a slip of paper, and you glanced over it to see a phone number printed. You looked up, absolutely baffled, and he smirked. "My phone number. You can reach me there. You interest me, and I'd like to get to know you more... if that's fine with you."
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Hi, how are you?
Can i request headcanons about how Vash would react to finding out reader (gender neutral) has pointed ears?
Like, reader is always seen wearing a beanie that conveniently hides their ears and one day, during a fight with bounty hunters, they lost their beanie and Vash end up seeing reader's ears.
Later, when asked why reader didn't told him, reader just gives him a piece of paper that has written "how to tell your boyfriend you have pointed ears in 3 steps" in it.
Reader was planning on telling him but the plan got ruined.
When asked how their ears are like that, reader just shrugs and says "mama told me it was a birth defect and, well, i never questioned it".
Also, reader's ears are very expressive.
They are happy/excited? Their ears perk up.
They are sad/depressed? Their ears drop down.
They hear something from afar? Their ears move up and down as if it was trying to find out where the sound was coming from.
I'm so sorry of this is super long.
I hope you have a good day!
Authors Note: Sorry it took me so long to get to this!!! I'm writing a DnD campaign so I've been busy...but yes I've had a good day thank you! I also added a bit of reasoning behind having pointed ears (vaguely) hope that's okay!
Vash x Reader, Reader Has Pointed Ears HC's
•When your mother was pregnant with you she had experienced a lot of difficulties, most the doctors had determined that you wouldn't survive
•As a last resort she had gone to the towns plant facility, she didn't know why but it always calmed her to watch the plants move around their tanks
•No one 100% knows what happened that day but your mother insist that the plant gave her the energy to carry you, and to be honest it seemed to be true because when you were born...you had a pair of pointed ears
•They were highly expressive, perking up at sounds and standing at attention when you were happy, drooping when you were sad. Your mother saw it as a sign of luck, that you had been blessed. Others...did not
•A lot of people thought it was weird, or even said you were cursed. You had learned to hide them away the older you got, not enjoying the odd looks or insults you had thrown your way.
•When you first joined Vash's little group no one really said anything, they all had their weird things, I mean Vash wears a bright red coat and Wolfwood drags a cross wherever he goes no one was really in the place to judge you for not taking your hat off, besides it wasn't uncommon for people to wear beanies or cowboy hats
•Eventually as everyone becomes closer you do get the ossiconal question, whether it's Meryl just causally asking about it (it's the reporter in her) or Wolfwood teasing you about it (it's the big brother in him) you always blow it off with a half assed excuse with "oh i dunno" or "I just like it"
• Vash actually doesn't press you too hard about it, he's got his own secrets (cough scars) (cough plant markings) so he's fine if you keep your hat on, even when your dating
•Then the two of you get caught in the crossfire of some bandits. Vash is quickly pulling you down in the dirt with him trying to keep you from getting hurt when you feel your hat fall off, your ear perk up at the sound of gun fire going off and Vash stops wide eyed for a second before remembering he's supposed to be not getting shot and pulls the two of you off to safety
•When you two first talk alone he's a bit pouty, not because of your ears but because he feels bad you didn't trust him enough to know. Then you argue that for awhile he didn't tell you about his plant markings and the argument is resolved with a truce lmao
•You also mention that you had been planning to tell him but chickened out each time worried he'd see you as a freak. Which he gets 100% he's often worried his plant qualities will be ridiculed so if anything this brings the two of you a lot closer!
•Vash loves your ears, he thinks it's super cute how they perk up at the sound of his voice, or stand at attention when you talk about something you like. Sometimes he gently runs his fingers over them enjoying how the flicker at his touch
•When you're sad he instantly knows because of your ears and won't leave your side until their not drooping. Doing everything in his power to cheer you up
•Then when he learns that it was plant energy that gave them to you he's even more excited!
"y/n we're the same!" "uh..i don't think that's how it works Vash" "shh let me have this"
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I'm really curious because I'm rewatching ouat and don't remember Regina mind wiping her abuse from Henry.
Did she do it when she wiped his memory of telling him her plan in... Season 2, I think is when she planned to escape with Henry. Or did it happen later on?
(Asking because retconning the many mistakes this show made is sooooo hard when I can't keep track of everything she or gold/others have done.
Also yeah poor Henry was definitely abused.
Like wtf was Regina's plan with him and with Owen.
Owen knew she wasn't his mom. Knew his dad wasn't gonna leave. If she kept him, he would have been even more screwed up than he was before.
Henry was gonna grow up too and she knew that.
She knew that the curse was gonna last for at least 28 years.
What happens when Henry is an adult? Or a teen?
Poor kid already gave up on making friends because they DON'T age with him before he even got the book.
I read a fic once about 'what if emma left the night she came' and dear god, it was a one shot and depressing. Because Henry ended his life as a teenager.
Which is realistic.
A person ending their life or running away or actually going crazy in those circumstances was guaranteed no matter the kid she adopted. Even if she hadn't adopted the savior's kid.
Even if she adopted Emma herself or August or A KID FROM THE WORLD WITHOUT MAGIC.
What RA's don't acknowledge is that her adopting a kid with full knowledge that the curse was gonna last for at least 28 years, if not more, was pure abuse and likely to end badly even if the kid wasn't resourceful like Henry.
Because she was ensuring they'd basically have a short miserable life.
They can't keep friends. They can't date. They can't have kids if the curse isn't broken.
Jefferson as a grown man went nuts because of it (though to be fair, he already had trauma of his own). Imagine being a kid who doesn't know different but KNOWS it's supposed to be different because of what everyone else thinks their lives are like/vis tv.
Like. REALLY. What was Regina's plan?
But yeah. Mind wipe. Sorry about the tangent.
Oh this is a good ask about a popular fandom saying that probably needs clarification!
Regina “mind wiped the abuse from Henry” is… in a way… MAYBE more of a head-canon than canon because canonically speaking we only know for a fact that Regina erased her plan to kidnap Henry and murder his loved ones. That is the only thing made explicitly clear since the scene is about that plot and Henry’s line after is to show that he doesn’t know anything about her plot anymore. Which when we say that we’re talking about this scene from late s2:
HOWEVER. It just makes logical sense that Regina mind-wiped ALL of the abuse since Henry goes on to act like she never emotionally damaged him which is a complete 360 to what the show portrayed and what he said prior to the “mind wipe” incident. So if this is a head canon it’s a damn good one that is heavily supported by the show’s canon and evidence of retconning.
Regina didn’t have a plan for Henry or for Owen past needing them to love her. She needed them to fill the evil hole in her heart. And like a true narcissist, she figured they should be grateful to her for the life she would give them. She never thought about anything else but herself. The show never really told us much more.
But your tangent is 100% spot on. Agreed. And yes, that fanfic sounds depressing! But true.
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tw// discussion of postpartum depression and depression in general… this is a long post of random Della thoughts
Okay, so I've been thinking about that post I just reblogged a lot because I really the concept of Theory 4 (I know it's sad but it feels so real). I just have minor adjustments in my head. For instance, I personally don't see Della caring about the triplets father at all. Like, my guy was definitely not involved. I really see Della as a free spirit, and I can’t really see her ever wanting to be in a committed relationship… Wow, I'm sorry, I make everything about her sad. In my brain/headcanon world, every relationship she has had always crashes and burns because she doesn't like feeling tied down. She’s always running…. Anyway, about the postpartum depression, I feel like she suffered so badly from it— only not in the way where she wanted to hurt them lol. She just didn't feel bonded or connected and became depressed from that. That's why she was avoidant and would seem at times (to her family) like she wasn't being "responsible". Along with the depression, they also served as a reminder that everything is going to change. So what does she do? She runs.
I love the explanations for Donald and Scrooge under Theory 4. Head-on-the-nail for their thought process and feelings. But yeah, she finally thinks of the SOS and for the first time in months, feels something other than the nagging continuous depression. She thinks that if she can go the distance, do something as extraordinary as space travel, that it will prove things can still be the same and even potentially propel her out of her depressed state. She won't have to "settle down" as she’s constantly being reminded. I don't think it was to get away from her responsibility, I think she was completely overwhelmed and conflicted because of the effects of postpartum.
Being on the moon brings her entirely new traumas. Instead of getting help and speaking out when she was on earth, she’s now literally trapped. Her isolation is, obviously, no longer in her head. Queen, I'm so sorry (as if I'm talking to her LOL). Damn, she really was stranded on the moon by herself for a decade! Her untreated depression worsens into something entirely new (PTSD...!).
She obviously loves the triplets. I think that, relatively quickly, her time on the moon, when things went from bad to worse, her idea worked in a way? It certainly was something to knock her out of her “funk” (postpartummm). The kids are her motivation to keep fighting. She would take care of them. She would make it all up. She was committed, but how the duck was she supposed to think that anything could go wrong when Scrooge McDuck built this for her? Encouraged her to go for it? He always kept her safe and so on and on and on. She tried to free herself following his example and lost everything in her search for how things used to be (insert that Frank post about Scrooge betting it all and willing to rebuild from scratch if he looses everything).
It just seems like she was dealing with a lot— especially internally. So much was happening at once. My girl got so mentally ill. Like, being alive is so complicated… Deyla… I feel like she had a lot of highs and lows, but the lows were more often, common, and longer. One day she would feel like, “This is awesome. My kids are going to be the coolest and I can't wait to show them everything,” then the following week is unending flow of, “There’s too much to do and so many ways to screw up. Why is there so much that goes into taking care of them? They can’t really expect me to stay in the mansion for months on end right? I want to take care of them. I can’t take care of them. Donald thinks he knows everything. I'm a failure. They’re just eggs. What am I supposed to do with that? Yep, I feel soooo bonded... I’m a bad mom. Why don’t I feel the way that I should?” But of course, she’s stubborn and doesn’t tell anyone. So Donald labels her as irresponsible, and Scrooge don’t really gaf tbh because he thinks it will all smooth over and be fine as soon as they hatch. Troll goes ahead and builds SOS and the rest is history. I’m not really sure where I meant to go with this. I drew fanart the other night thinking about this, rediscovered that post I reblogged, and now here I am typing the thought process of a duck that I headcanon to have had postpartum depression. This is all just random and just what I think. I'm sure there are other posts like this but I just spent all this time typing this out so I figure, why not post? Goodnight.
#and nerp she would never tell anyone about it even after she returns#she doesn't even consider postpartum ever being something that she could have#sorry if this is a mix of things that have already been said#but tbh i could read hundreds of the same posts about ducktales reworded in different ways and still eat them up every time#i need to do my homework#derp#EFF IT IM POSTING#my thoughts
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"Can I request some angst between alpha earth! Gekko x reader.
When the alpha version of (y/n) died of illness and she was Gekko’s friend with whom he has feelings, it tore him to pieces that she died in front of his eyes while he was holding her hand.
Now back to the present, Gekko was fighting a new agent from the omega earth and when he saw a familiar face it bothered him the most. This version of (y/n) was the opposite of his (y/n), which is a menace. (similar to jinx from arcane?)" - Requested
THIS MADE ME SO SAD, it's a great idea, but omg bro, this just... Made me cry while writing it. Loss is hard to deal with but this situation is just a punch in the gut. (Also I didn't know if you wanted to stay anonymous or not I'm sorry aaaaa)
"Glimpse of us"
Gekko/Mateo x GN!Reader
Song: Glimpse of us-Joji for the first part, (duh ajsjsj)
2 song: Dynasties and Dystopia-Denzel Curry
CW: this is just depressing. Use of guns, crying, mentions of death, mentions of depression, mentions of ED'S.
This might be very triggering to some, specially for those who have lost someone. Pls read at your own discretion, take care of yourselves and spread love. ♡
Viper warned everyone mixing love and business, specially in your line of work, "don't get too close" she said, but once KJ and Raze started, it was kind of hard to stop a bunch of young adults from doing what was only bound to happen.
Everyone knew the risks, still did it anyway.
But your hands were cold, rigid and tense. That was the only thing going through Mateos head at the moment.
He could hear the cries of all the other agents gathered around the room, but they sounded so distant, so fake.
HE was supposed to protect you, the love of his life, but nobody saw this coming, not you, not him, not even Sage.
The machines around the hospital room beeped, he didn't wanna believe it. This was not real, you were fine, you were just having a bad day, right? This is not happening, this is just not possibl-
"Mijo..." Reyna said, interrupting his obsessive train of thought, gripping his shoulder tightly and wrapping her other arm around his waist from behind. "Lo siento."
When it finally hit him, he couldn't stop the warm tears from dampening his face, they wouldn't stop, they didn't stop. He shook his head, gripping your now limp, cold leg over the sheets, repeating curses and prayers in Spanish, hoping, praying this was all just... Some sort of twisted joke.
It wasn't.
You really are gone forever, he thought to himself.
After that the days and weeks blended together, everyone was worried for him, he's was the one that took your loss the hardest, but can you blame him? You were his everything.
He lost his appetite. Boba tasted so disgusting in his mouth now, the chewy bubbles wich made him so incredibly satisfied now were disgustingly gooey. Video games were incredibly dull, boring and difficult. Everything he once shared with you just felt... Wrong. The only thing he even remotely enjoyed was skating, it felt like he finally got a chance to breath whenever he went out, specially at night.
One day Sage and Brimstone came to talk about the situation with him, recommended him to see a specialist about it and very reluctantly, he did.
Some time passed, everything felt a little brighter, Viper, to the surprise of everyone, helped Gekko get a little memorial up in your honor, for everyone to see at the protocol. Everyone started acting calmer, more cheerful, the environment was more chill and lively than ever and even tho they lost someone very important, it felt like a storm had finally passed. Some days were still hard, but knowing (Y/N) they would of liked to see everyone move on with their lives.
Everything was pretty quiet for a while, missions where going good, it seemed like Gekko could finally turn the page and move on. Until a certain mission went south.
For a few days, the protocol had been planing to retrieve a big load of radianite from omega earth and they would of succeeded on getting it back if it weren't for a mysterious person giving the agents hell.
"Fast, aggressive, unpredictable" were the words Kj, Neon, Phoenix and Jett used to describe this person, some of them were incredibly angry, asking brim to send them again so they could have a rematch with this so called "threat", but he refused, opting to send Harbor, Omen, Reyna, Fade and Gekko to scout the area better while Cypher and Kj tried their best to learn anything they could on the new omega earth agent.
The day of the mission finally came and at the death of night, all the agents appointed to the mission moved, silent and slow.
There were helicopters on top of them, scanning the perimeter but failing to spot and stop the Alpha team from infiltrating what it seemed to be a once bright and loud city, reduced to nothing, as it was now used as a radianite storage facility.
Mateo's eyes where playing tricks on him, he could of swore he saw a figure moving in the shadows, but Fade assured him she didn't sense anything but his fear around.
They split into teams, Reyna was gonna scout the main entrance to the small city, Harbor and Omen were gonna go to the site now named "A" and Fade and him would go to the site "B", trying to find any valuable information of the last apparition of the new agent and their radionite.
Everyone scattered, taking their positions. Everything seemed normal, as normal as an alternate reality goes, until Fade seemed more quiet than normal.
Gekko tried his best to get a hold of her, searching for trails she might of left behind, calling her name through the ear piece, but he had nothing. Panicking, he called the everyone, frantically communicating to everyone how he just lost fade, he was assured help would come shortly, he sighed a breath of relief, but it was short lived.
His eyes landed on a dark figure looming over what seemed to be Fade, in the ground, with a gunshot wound to the left lower side of her abdomen.
The browned eyed man pointed the gun towards the black figure, wich it seemed to take notice of.
"Drop your weapons! You're surrounded." He said, knowing full well that was a lie. The figure moved, putting their hands on the air. "I said drop your weapons, slowly."
"How about this, pretty boy..." the figure finally showed their face, pointing two gun barrels directly at his forehead, revealing your face, for the first time. "YOU drop to the ground, call your friends off and then we'll have a deal"
He froze
His precious friend
The love of his life was once again in front of him. Emotions flooded his mind. Sadness, confusion, nostalgia, happiness.
You looked so different, what happened to you?
You looked almost unrecognizable to him, if it wasn't for your face looking over all the same, he would of confused you for someone else.
Millions of tiny pieces of memories he tried to blurry blurry deep inside his mind came crashing down at him, like a million little needless just pricked him right in the heart.
Time seemed to freeze and through all the noise surrounding his head, he heard you say:
"You afraid of ghosts?"
A loud bang was all that was heard around the city after that.
Thank you for reading! If yall want apart two I'm down, also, I did this like, in two separate days Hswjjrkfkc, I hope you like it! C:
The end is kinda cringe don't even say anything 'bout it or I'll cry
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Also I'M SORRY today is just a v rough day for me but I want yall to know that Jester's and Fernator's Stanley are actually the same one and this man is both a victim but also an abuser and I just, please someone ask me about him I love my Sadley he's just
Listen this man first had to go through Fernie's neutral path which, well it wasn't too bad but then he went to the Bad pathways, still remembering how fernie could have been better but because he was salty about how the man treated him sometimes, their relation got worse
And that ended up with them destroying not only each other but the parable, making it unusable
Then the guy was reset by the game devs and put in jester's parable, who they told how his Stanley is supposed to be and this one wasn't 1:1 like the idea he had
So he came with a confusion this Stanley took place of a Real Stanley that doesn't exist and tortured him
Ending with him making him one with the void in the zending room, which haha fuck you jester, made stanley be the world water and he took all the lights, making narrator depressed because he realised he lost his story, Stanley and the room he loved
The dude went for 7 years of depression, got kicked in the butt and made UD Version while stanley got powers thanks to becoming one with the parable
And first showed up, making jester believe that he's a diff Stanley, just to see if the man had changed and would treat him better which surprise, didn't work
And then, next save, he finally tortured narrator back
Which backfired in the end because the man has guilt issues for keeping on destroying words and how both narrators just keep on blaming him for everything so he got a new save and let jester do whatever he wanted to him, which made jester feel like this really is his Stanley
So they went on like that for a while, with Stanley only sometimes showing his powers to keep narrator in place
Then, he learnt that fernie is back in the game, dumped jester (not completely, still visits him sometimes) and went to that parable to try to fix that man because his biggest issue was keeping on fucking up the code
And then good and best pathways of fernie happened
This Stanley is not only guilt but also power driven. He could have gotten a new narrator, he could have let it all go but he loves how he has control over them both
Sisusu yeah I just love my bbgrill
#my rambling#Tsp#The Stanley parable#Stanley#Fernator au#Jester#They're#Unhealthy#I have obsession with unhealthy relationships and the psychological aspects of them ok#But like that's their original relationship in my eyes#Anyways yeah#Today im really not feeling good physically so I'm rambling I hope yall don't mind
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Alr, as for the nitpick, it's when Mario was watching TV near the beginning, when 3 and 4 shut the power off. Honestly my first thought was "why jump right to that? Couldn't they have at least tried luring him out of the room with spaghetti or something?" (Sorry if this sounds rude I'm saying this in the least rude way I can think of)
Also.
👁.👁 foreshadowing
- ♟
oooh! Actually didn't think about that
me being so 3-coded I just immediately went for violence UHKDJLJLKDJF
but yea foreshadowing
putting it under the cut in case someone is scrolling my blog and didn't see the fic yet or wants to find these things on their own
one of my favourite ones: Mario and his inconsistencies
like I sadly didn't get to exactly state it, although Puzzles sort of did- the whole reason Mario didn't get pulled into any TV shows here is cuz of his personality, which abides by rules beyond him, he wasn't able to manipulate him further than just make all glued to the TV
same thing with how he managed to unfreeze himself as well
he was meant to be the annoying equal to Puzzles to fight even from the beginning
like, I did it with tiny things
like Melony thinking about how Mario isn't usually one to like cardio, the whole thing with him switching in between stupid Mario and therapist Mario, even Puzzles himself points it out when I was well into it, even Mario is like Uh, Idk sometimes I'm smart
another thing was with Melony and her vision
I really really love the concept of her and a majority of her character as well so much and really wanted to do better than just let her sleep in all of this
especially because I wanted Puzzles to actually be planning and be careful and sneaky (of course until Mario annoyed him enough lol)
which is also why I added the thing about her powers feeling weaker, to retroactively think about why she would show up less and also not be involved in fights
girl basically got demigod depression
but yea that was what the part with her trying to lift the debris away from the door in her nightmare was supposed to show
also the whooooooole thing with what Mario and Puzzles got going on after he "healed" him from the wound he caused
like I didn't say it outright at first on purpose, yknow, so that it's rewarding for people who read Sever and think back "Wait, didn't something similar happen with 3 and 4 as well?"
although their ties are different HLKJFLKF they can't actually use meme energy, just like. avatar energy and who knows... with how long that fragment affected Puzzles.... other things could show up :3
ALSO YEA UH
I love Revelations so much so much so much, if I don't incorporate it into my belief system, who am I anymore?
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Let me tell you about the tattoo that my mom hates (this is a long ass post btw)
✨️Trigger Warning✨️
Suicide / Depression
- - - - - -
Hey, hi, it's me. This is the only place I feel really open about sharing things - but with the holidays and cold months coming up I know how hard it can be for people who are struggling with depression/ bi polar / familial trauma, etc. So here's this post to remind you (and me) that we'll be okay. You and me. We will be okay. We are still breathing, and with every breath we take, we still have a shot at living the lives we've dreamed of.
You see this tattoo? I got it as a reminder. Oh yeah, also it's a Dark Souls tattoo. It says "Don't You Dare Go Hollow".
My mom HATES it, but she has come to terms with how much I love this tattoo.
But anyways, I got this tattoo to remind myself to keep going. I got it about 1-2 years after I attempted to leave this earth on my own accord.
Background (skip if you want)
It was 2020. I had been a Veterinary Assistant (technician basically depending on what state you're in, TN treats the assistants the same as technicians). Clients were beating me down dude. I had phones thrown at me. I had death threats. I had people telling me I was a worthless piece of shit. I wanted to help these animal, but to do that I felt like I had to take and accept this slurry of abuse. I was unmedicated. I felt alone. I felt like I was nothing. An empty vessel. So one day I was supposed to go to work and we were working on a skeleton crew. 12 to 13 hours a day, days in a row, sometimes we would still have to go in on our off days. I couldn't do it anymore. I called out. I said I was sick. The response "I'm sorry you're sick, but that puts our team in a hard spot". That was it. The last straw.
I ended up going to the ER. I stayed there for a week. And thrn I ended up in a mental institution for 3 days. I was started on Zoloft.
All was well for a little bit. I stayed in my profession and decided to go to Tech School to brighten my future and make some more money.
It was. The most stressful time of my life. While I did leave my previous clinic I switched to ER and Specialty and lasted only about 6 months there. Before I realized I was spiraling again. I felt like a failure as a tech. I was worthless. I wasn't enough. I got let go. If I had been doing this for 5 years and could do this what fucking good was I? I saw the signs. I understood what was happening. I sought help and went to group therapy at a behavioral hospital.
It was amazing. The people I met, the counselors, I made so many friends and people who believed in me. We increased the dosage of my meds.
Now. I'm at a new clinic. I'm spiraling again. I'm in bad health. The doctors don't know what's wrong with me, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's stress from my career. I still come home sobbing. I come home feeling empty. No amount of medication can help free me from the unhappiness of my job. At one point I loved it. Somewhere along the way I realized that this isn't the life I want. I love your pets. I love my current clients. But I can't take the pressures of possibly getting hurt or sick. My back is messed up from this job, all of my joints pop and hurt, I have damaged and fractured my teeth from grinding them from stress. I am always tired. Working 10+ hours with just a one hour break isn't cutting it. I am miserable.
So.
I took the fucking leap guys. I'm doing it. I'm switching my career. I'm going back to my roots. I'm being creative and doing what. I started podcasting and realized how much I missed being myself. My VTNE is next month and I don't give a shit.
The game changer was really being inspired by the voice acting in Baulder's Gate 3. Hearing Neil Newbon's speech when he accepted his award made me cry. I took one of Steve Blums voice acting classes and . . . My God it was like finally hearing the affirmation I never got from my parents.
Back to the Tattoo
My point is, no matter how hard it gets, please allow yourself to enjoy the things you love and fuck what everyone else says. You do yourself a disservice if you don't give yourself a break. If you don't be true to yourself, if you don't strive for the life you've dreamed of.
It's why my tattoo is the Bonfire from Dark Souls. In your journey, you're going to fail multiple times. Sometimes, you get hung up on the same damn spot over and over and over again. Sometimes, you have to reface your enemies. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE BOSS BATTLES. You may fail thousands of times, but you know what you do? You go back to your bonfire- your safe place- and you heal up. You get the fuck back up the next day and do it again. Sometimes your game plan changes. You don't have to fight this boss today. You can fight him when you're ready. You don't have to make huge progress in the game today - you can dick around and look for good armor. You can change the whole path you take if you want to - it doesn't matter. In the end you will eventually accomplish what you've came to do.
I have really been fighting for my life lately, but I don't want to lose hope. If I give up, then I'll never see the end of the game or move on to the next one.
It's hard sometimes. But my favorite quote is:
"So if you ever find yourself in a slump, remember your purpose - whatever it may be - and never stop fighting for your goals, no matter how crazy they may seem. And don't you dare go hollow"
I don't know you guys but I love you. And if you need someone to tell you that personally my inboxes are open.
#dark souls#tattoos#dark souls tattoo#bg3#neil newbon#steve blum#suicide awareness#my story#tattoo story#personal#video games#vet tech#voice acting#career change#depression#i am sad#saddness#tattoed girls#veterinary medicine#mental health#mental illness
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OHHHH MY GOD. Just finished episode five of scavengers reign. If I wasn't sold on this show before I sure as hell am now. where do I even begin?
I love that there wasn't like an hour long build up episode explaining All the Lore. All the information. Some people like that but for me I love that you're thrown into these people not really knowing much. I LOVE the slowly telling you more about their lives! I love the conclusions you can draw about them. Azi pushes people away and gets lost in her work, she doesn't know how to maintain relationships. She doesn't know how to relate to people. Ursula is extremely determined but also just...never stopping for a second. Never stops to check in with herself, never lets herself stop for a second. Sam doesn't trust people easily. He's extremely logic oriented. Emotions confuse him. He's angry and stubborn and can't see past his own nose sometimes. He never takes shit into account. Kamen is so many things at once. He's selfish. He makes everything about him. He's controlling. He's extremely depressed and fears loss or things slipping out of control. He fears change. He needs everyone to respect him. He treats people badly because he takes ANYTHING as a personal attack that he has to "stand up for himself" against. He's suicidal. He genuinely loves Fiona and yet has no respect for her autonomy. He doesn't value the lives of the people around him. He holds at least some worry for the crew. But was that just for Fiona? I don't know yet and that's why it's so COOL. I love that they don't tell us everything immediately! They space out different information reveals so it can be taken in! They let you get to know the characters in five episodes before even revealing how the ship got there. And that's what makes the realization what happened actually effective! You knew enough about the characters to care! You know enough about why they act how they do to go, oh FUCK. This is a show you cannot watch with a binge culture mindset or you won't enjoy it it's so good.
Ursula and Sam's dynamic is really cool, hope to see more of how they met/ended up teaming up in these next episodes! I like it's not like. They're besties they're inseparable. it's two people who had to team up and did, and now they might bond. They're not friends yet, they don't dislike each other. They respect each other a lot and I dunno, it's kinda cool to see a completely neutral relationship in fiction.
Sam not apologizing to Ursula and instead kinda implying it. "Without your instincts", as in "I'm sorry I doubted your sense of danger. You wouldn't do something stupid." and also "Thank you for not leaving me alone even though, yeah, you could." Sam's rage at Kamen really adds a lot to him. Ursula so far isn't grabbing me but hey there's episodes left currently out and more to come out! There's gonna be a lot of depth most likely. I am VERY excited for it.
I fucking love Levi. I love their arc so far. I love their being scared of going back to how they were. Unfeeling and not making their own choices. They were never happy before. Theyd never had wants before. It was wonderful. And them being upset at Azi was just??? So good. You treat me like I still have no autonomy. I'm not going to hurt you. Why are you treating me like me enjoying things now and acting differently than I'm supposed to is bad when I'm just existing? I'm helping you. This makes me happy. Why are you upset? Also the scene where she saw her own hands fucked very hard not gonna lie.
Azi realizing, oh. They're a person now. They feel things. That...would be shitty to ask a person to do, huh? Her growing is so good. Her realizing all the times she pushed people out. All the assumptions she made about everything. Her respecting Levi more! Her realizing, okay I need to be nicer to them She...feels it. When I say something they'll feel it. Her telling Levi they're their own person now, and just,, idk I REALLY love them. Azi has so much implications and I love her. The pain about her being so lonely and shoving people out. Never stopping to be around anyone. And her finding companionship on the being that called her out on her shit. Goddd. Something about her treating them better than we see her so far treat a lot of other people. This planet being introduced as Horrific and it still is but it's also just a planet. It's just animals trying to survive. It's just nature and she has to adapt and make it make more sense as she grows.
Kamen....man. The way they've been telling his story with Fiona....at first him thinking the weird creature is her. Then Charlie making him realize no wait is she still there. Then. No. She's gone.
I love the set up to the fiona isn't alive. I saw it coming but it's not treated as a plot twist, it's treated as a realization for the characters. And that is so so much better sometimes. Like you can see it coming and yet kamens reaction, even if he's a horrible person, is still so gut wrenching.
Him being suicidal is STILL so gutwrenching. Because they show you how he feels. They show you, yeah. He loves her. He's a bad person but he has feelings even if he's selfish about them. And the fact none of the other characters have cried before makes seeing HIM much more impactful. He's not a good person but seeing anyone accept assumed death Hurts. And that's what fucks you up.
Man. This fucking show. That shot of the creature kinda consuming Kamen was horrifying and I love it. Still not done so no spoilers but god. This show is fucking good and I need to meet more people into it. I fucking love it.
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i wld love 2 hear ur theroy abt ginasfs being abt pete falling out of love with patrick and in love with mikey pls do explain cus this is wht ive been thinking of recently when i listen to it
Well, let's start (sorry in advance for my english 'cause it's not my native language)
I am hardcore Petekey truther and I believe that Pete had a crush on Patrick but Patrick is too straight for all of this. (I had a crush on my best friend before we became best friends and I can feel what Pete feels, you know) This is an initial point of my theory.
Pete Wentz was totally obsessed with Mikey Way in 2005-2007 while also was crippled by hard depression at 27. Mikey wasn't in love with him back, I think they had "friends with benefits" kind of thing as Mikey thought about it, but Pete was totally in love. "monster fall in love with a boy with no heart? actually i’m pretty sure you have a heart, but i’m just as certain it’ll never be mine." Oh I hate Pete's posts so hard I can't stop crying about those over and over again.
But before Summer of Like, Pete was obsessed with Patrick. It was a love at first sight, all of that "socks, shorts and an argyle sweater" thing. They hadn't any sexual relationship 'cause Patrick didn't want any relationship except friendship with Pete but Pete wanted everything. "It’s Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Think It Must Be Love" is about it. "I’ve Got a Dark Alley and a Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth" is partly about it. Pete wanted to come out (as bi I suppose) but it was 2005 and he couldn't afford to. And Patrick didn't want him. He loved him as a friend already but nothing more, but he was too shy and supportive to totally reject Pete's love. It isn't healthy thing at all but sometimes friends who really love you back but only as a friend do this for your mentally unstable ass. It's not the same thing as some "friend zone" stuff 'cause this person actually loves you back but not romantically and just don't want to break your heart. This isn't healthy but sometimes it's the only right choice to make.
Pete Wentz was smoldered over Patrick Stump for years and then Summer of Like happened so Pete flared up for Mikey Way.
So when we figured out all the things about this situation in general, let's finally talk about G.I.N.A.S.F.S.
As a person who ships both Petekey and Peterick I've been thinking about this song a lot. I love Pete's poetry and love to overanalyze it again and again, so in my desire to understand this song I decided to start from most obvious line "Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns" 'cause, you know:
So I started to think about this song in the prism of this line. Like all other Pete's songs, this one is about his mental state. This is the most loved thing about Pete's poetry to me - this man cannot write "just a song", all of them are so personal. So, Pete wasn't mentally stable at all, the second verse and a bridge clearly said about an attempts and since all about Pete's attempts is really unclear, I still think that logically you in "you saved my life" was Patrick just 'cause he was around at this time in contrast to Mikey. So I can only speculate about "Photo-proofed kisses" line, I can, but I don't really want to, at least here and now.
Well, okay, let's figure out the chorus. In the prism of all future lyrics about Mikey Way, "It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you" isn't about him 'cause Pete still loved him really hard for this point. So if we come back to "Trade baby blues for wide eyed browns" we can imagine Pete thinks about how easily for him was to fall out of love with Patrick and it's bothering him. I mean, it really kinda devastating when you realize that you actually didn't love someone as hard as you thought you was after you fall into someone else so much harder. Also, I think that Pete was really obsessed with desire to come out in 2004-2005 and it reinforced his love to Patrick. What I'm trying to say - on this point (2004-2005) if Pete would crush on any other guy he would think that it's a love of his life just 'cause this is what happens when you really want to come out. You need an excuse. But it was Patrick, he had a long-term crush on his best friend Patrick, and then when he realised that he wasn't the love of his life (at least, you know, romantically) it was devastating. Also, I think that the second half of the second verse is about that too in a way of "I loved a concept of our relationship more than I actually romantically loved you". You know that feeling when you think about people that you formerly non-reciprocally loved as about your exes even if you actually never were in a romantic relationship? I mean this kind of feeling.
So to sum up, I think that G.I.N.A.S.F.S. is about Patrick but in the prism of Pete's full-time falling into Mikey. That's it, that's my theory. If I confused you even more with it - I'm sorry, you can keep asking leading questions and I'll try to answer. It's not really easy for me to formulate thoughts about all of it even in my native language actually.
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Well, I just got some interesting news that I can't really discuss my real feelings with in real life, so I guess it's time for some really bitter trauma dumping.
So, um, I don't know how many of you remember, but there was a little incident a few years back where, after living with my cousin and his girlfriend for about three years, they asked me to move out so they could have more "privacy as a couple," which basically meant tht they were having issues again and thought that having me leave might help make things easier on them, despite them being the ones who had reached to me to ask me to move in with them. Due to a number of other factors, not the least being that this was the third time my roommates had done something similar and the second time of it being due to a couple doing what they felt was best for them and leaving me holding the bag, this caused me to have something of a mental health collapse, and I've been struggling with anxiety and, as I just figured out, depression ever since! And yeah, there were a lot of other things happening that contributed to that,
But here's the thing: the first couple to do that, who were my best friends, ended up divorcing a couple years later. And apparently, it got ugly.
And as I recently found out, my cousin and his girlfriend ended up breaking up just the other week, and from all accounts, it was volatile.
So you can imagine that I have a lot to process. Like, what the hell am I even supposed to feel? On the one hand, I feel awful for my cousin, since I know he cared a lot about her. On the other, I've been mad at him for two years now because of everything that's happened (basically, a few weeks before he asked me to leave, I had talked to him about them having treated me like more of a guest than a resident for a while now, and he reassured me that it wasn't the case, that he did want me to feel like that was my home, and that it wasn't, and I quote, me versus the couple, only for him to drop this on me a very short time after), so there's that. And it also means that I went through that whole hellish experience, had to throw away seven years of my life, and have it all be for nothing. But at the same time, it also weirdly feels like there's this weight taken off my shoulders? Like, something inside me that got turned off when everything went down has suddenly turned back on again? Which sounds awful, but it is something that I've noticed.
I don't know. It's a mess. But mainly what I've come away with from all of this is that my whole life seems to have been spent getting caught up in other people's relationships, from my parents to my siblings to my friends to other members of my family, getting stuck in their drama, sometimes literally getting sacrificed by the couple in hopes of salvaging things, only for it all to end badly anyway. And every time I've been expected to just take it.
You know, these last few months I've been reconsidering how I feel about being aromantic, as the downside is that I've spent so much time being the third wheel and always ended up as the one left behind, but in light of all this? Fuck it. I'm so glad I'm aromantic. This shit isn't worth it.
Anyway, sorry about the angry venting. I just needed to get it out of my system.
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PART 2 PREVIEW
"If it weren't for seven men that fateful night you wouldn't be here now. They showed you good people did exist. That life can be great, that you can be loved and cared for. These seven men were the men you loved and cherished. These men were your mates. Your safety blanket. And to them. You were their Little Leopard.
Pairing: OT7 X Hybrid!Reader
Genre: Hybrid! AU, Strangers to Lovers! AU, Rich!BTS, Fluff, Angst(And I mean Angst), Polyamorous!BTS
Warnings: Abuse(Mental, Physical and Sexual), Eating Disorders, Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, PTSD.
------
"This is a safe space Y/N. Nobody is going to shame you, hurt you, nothing like that, we don't expect you to trust immediately and that's okay, we'll earn it. No matter how long it takes. You are cared for and safe here. You are not a pet or anything like that. You're a still human just like us at the end of the day. We want to protect you and get you justice towards whoever did this to you okay? Do you understand?" Namjoon says gently sitting across from you ensuring there was distance so you felt comfortable. He wanted to give you space you've probably never had before. Let you come to him. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you.
"Yes master. I understand. I promise not to make you angry." You say in a hushed voice, keeping your eyes down. You had been taught to never be loud or look your superior in the eyes as a sign of respect. You didn't want to mess up. They had been so nice to you, you feared one wrong move then they would mistreat you. The boys felt nauseous hearing you sound so submissive and fearful. Calling Namjoon master.
"Little cub. We are not you're masters. You never ever have to call us that. We aren't like the others. We don't own you, we don't want anything from you nothing at all. You are you're own person. Just call us by our names. We aren't superiors, we're just like you. Human. Yes you may be part leopard to but you are also a human being. You can speakly louder and freely. You're thoughts, opinions and feelings are all valid in this house okay? You can look at us. Nothing will happen. We won't ever get mad at you okay? That is something we promise." Yoongi says softly feeling his heart sink into his stomach. You have so much trauma and fear built up that you really did think all humans were the same. And in that moment he knew. They all knew. They were going help you conquer it all and find the person you really were behind it all and they couldn't wait to see it, the real you. They were going to protect you not matter what it took.
----
Nearly a whole year it's took me to do this I am so very sorry. It was not supposed to take this long I promise but so much has happened in my life that I just couldn't update and mentally I really wasn't here. I've finally got back control in my life and I am very proud of myself to say the least. My computer had also broken so I couldn't update and needed to save up for a new one which was a big challenge and then I even moved which was great but also set me back for updating once again as I was sorting out my new home and trying to adjust but finally everything is blown over or I am working through it amd hopefully back on track for updates and writing etc. Another thing to add thank you so much for your love for this story already and all of your paitence you don't understand how much it means to me! The taglist is huge and because of that I want to yet again remind people that unfortunately it is closed for the time being!
Anyway CHAPTER 2 RELEASE WILL BE MONDAY 24TH OCTOBER 7PM BST AND DOWN BELOW ARE THE CONVERSIONS SO YOU GUYS KNOW! SORRY IF I MISSED YOUR TIMEZONE OUT!
TAGLIST AGAIN IF I MISSED SOMEONE OUT, YOU HAVE CHANGED YOUR USERNAME OR YOU DIDN'T GET A NOTIFICATION I'M SORRY AND LET ME KNOW!
@luciferslvst @pb-n-james @kimsaerom @tinyoonsblog @mintyoonjisworld @malewife-supremacy @army4eve3r @mageprincess7 @dreamamubarak @ot7nem @hayleypearce @yoongiigolden @kinkyduuh @victoryscreech61 @driftapart @carolinexkpop @duskiebaby @colourlyhobbit @toughbook @ah2002 @beeeee06 @euphoriayongbok @bbgniecyy @linospot @jaiuneamesolitaiire @whotfisclaire @rich-man-v @bangtanxberm @pathetic-brat @murkydoesnotloveyou @cheychey-4788 @kookiesandmilk-blog @atinygracie @echo-ethe @yo-alli @blancflms @scarlet1722 @jamlessstars @theblueslytherin @rosquilleta @slash4slashers @chieftoadturkeynickel @m4r1eluvr
#bts#hoseok#namjoon#seokjin#yoongi#jimin#jungkook#taehyung#bts poly#bts hybrid x reader#bts strangers to lovers au#little leopard#bts hybrid fanfic
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Thess vs First Forge
Forbidden West-blogging returns! The last few days have mostly been using the interactive map I found to go trawling for data points. Not enough spoons to do much hunting, besides a Stormbird and Dreadwing combo up in the mountains, which was depressing because I was looking for Apex and did not find Apex. But today, I sort of multitasked my hyperfocus between a text RP scene and noodling around the Forbidden West.
Okay. I have a lot of data points. I think I can save some of the rest for whenever I'm supposed to trip over them in quests. Now. Time for hunting.
Google-fu tells me thaaaaat ... well, that you stand a better chance of getting an Apex machine during the in-game night. Well, there's supposedly a shiny new Dreadwing spawn point right at a campfire I passed when I was finding firegleam as per Sylens' bloody orders. So as it's in-game night, let's try there.
...And there it is AND IT SAYS APEX!
......And its scrambler field is basically right on top of the spawn point and now I am discovered. Fuuuuuuuck.
THE THINGS I DO FOR SHINY ARMOUR HOLY SHIT.
Okay. Okay. Back to campfire. Over to Thornmarsh. I have my shiny salvage and all is good.
SHINY LEGENDARY STEALTH ARMOUR WOO!
Now, lemme upgraaaaaaaaade ... and I need more Apex Dreadwing bits. Well, night isn't over and shit respawns fast.
Lemme see if I can dodge around the perimeter of that scrambler field.
...Fuck.
Huh. It ... was hanging upside down there, just like an actual bat. That's really cool. Or would be, if it wasn't trying to EAT MY FACE.
There. Okay. That should do. Back to campfire, find a shelter, upgrade.
Aaaaaaaaaand now I need Slitherfang bits. Fuck Slitherfangs right in the ear. I guess I should probably start the whole AETHER deal.
...Lemme do First Forge first. Maybe I'll get lucky. Lemme talk to Erend.
Oh, good, you found coordinates-- wait. You're coming too?!? Okay, you have very good reasons for wanting to, so sure. But if you fuck up my stealth I am going to be very disappointed in you.
Huh. I had the nearest campfire, even. Good. See, this is why I go all over the place getting campfires. Makes getting to actual spots for quests so much easier when the time comes.
Okay, Erend. They've got door guards and--
Wait. EREND wants to pull a SUBTERFUGE?!? Oh, this is going to be hilarious.
.........On one level, it's kind of nice that the door guards are smart enough not to buy that. On the other hand ... well, fuck. We're in, anyway.
Why is there nothing that's going to give me some damn cover in this cave?!? Fuck you, Asera. Right in the ear.
Yes, Erend. I am still actually really damn good at this. Get better every day, in fact. Sorry I'm not letting you get all that much use out of your hammer.
Did ... did you just hand me precision ammo? You are now my hero.
Okay, so she ran off aaaaaaaand ... there's another door.
Which ... shut ominously behind us. Hope I got everything worth getting in there.
Why do you just happen to have explodo barrels on that bridge? More to the point, why didn't you wait until we were on it to blow it up, if you want us dead so badly?
Thanks, Erend. To you and to your hammer.
Lady, if you want tripwires, try to have them be a little less obvious, okay? That kind of shit works on machines, not people.
Outside? Okay-- aaaaaaaaand that's the cave mouth blocked. What've you got for us, Asera?
...Clawstrider? That's it? Fuck off, Clawstrider. POONK.
And Asera has ... quite the health bar. But I'll just be over here. POONK. POONK. POONK.
And that's the end of you. Yeah, head on back to the Base, Erend. I have looting to do.
Huh. Asera keeps a diary. "Dear Diary, my culture is sexist and my dad's a jerk and so I want everybody to burn". Also, Sylens, you are a shitheel.
Now, there's supposed to be another data point up here. Since I'm in the area...
Got it. Now ... there's that settlement that's been outright taunting me. And it's ... way below me. I wonder...
Glidiiiiiiiiiing ... and in I go. I'm not really supposed to be in here yet, but fuck it. I want to read about the people who blew up Yosemite.
There is something WRONG with these CLIMBING POINTS.
*checks Google*
Oh. There'll be a quest here later. Hopefully I'll be able to do what I need to when the quest is active. Which it won't be until I do the quest for AETHER. Okay, okay, I go.
(I'll be given a Slitherfang to hunt anyway.)
Hi, Dekka. Look, I--
No, but--
Oh, fine, okay, I will go and talk to Hekarro. Also I will get these data points and--
Oooooooooh, this is the Ten. Joint Task Force 10. I guess that makes more sense, given that they wouldn't have had a clue about Zero Dawn, GAIA, or GAIA's subordinate functions. Still, I guess it works to an extent anyway. GAIA and her subordinate functions were what JTF-10 were fighting for. Also, coincidence to a point, but narratively speaking, even what seems like a coincidence in the story may not be a coincidence to the writer. Anyway. Sorry. I am a nerd.
Hi, Hekarro; I--
Wait. Wut.
So from being thrown into a fighting pit by the Carja, I have to protect one? Hoboy.
And you want me to play diplomat? Look, I remember Tekotteh was an asshole at your Embassy thing; why are you expecting me to--?
Look, all I want is to dig around your basement; that stuff's worth nothing to you but could help me save the world so-- waitWUT.
You ... know what's down there?
You ... don't know exactly what's down there. But at least you used what little you did see to some good use. Knowing how to fight machines is important, at least until we get HAEPHESTUS under control. So I do all this and you let me look in your basement?
...Okay, fine. I will meet your Kotallo. I will just pick up some campfires on the way--
Oh. Hi, Vetteh. You are currently on the receiving end of a Rollerback pummelling. Gotcha, fam. POONK.
Aaaand your friend Littay is in equal trouble. Off I go.
If you ran into Thunderjaw territory, lady--
Oh. No, okay. Just ... over to there somewhere. Let's go--
Spikesnouts, Burrowers, and an Apex Clawstrider. Lady, you did get yourself into a mess. Lemme see what I can do. POONK. POONK. POONK.
Okay. I have saved you and hopefully you've still got salvage worth the name. I gotta go yell at some Sky Clan, okay?
(Why can't I give these people some of my meat and plants? I am swimming in edible things! Why can't I give them to hungry people?!?)
Right. I think that's about enough of that for one day. Tomorrow, I will finish the quest for AETHER. Promise.
Honestly, I'm hoping I can go to sleep. But some of the downstairs neighbours are watching what I presume are sports of some kind because the cheering has been ... very, very loud. Ugh.
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