#Thess liveblogs Horizon Forbidden West
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Thess vs Shadow's Reach
I keep getting up before my alarm goes off. It'd be more irritating if I didn't use it as "coffee and Forbidden West" time.
Right. Shadow's Reach doesn't look too daunting. So over I sneak.
...What is it with you jagoffs and slaves, hmm? How did we manage to still keep slavery? Blegh.
Right. And ... headshot ... headshot ... headshot ... two shots to the radar arrays on the Scroungers... Wait. That's it? Well. I guess I'll ... just ... find a way into the main base, then.
Hi, Yen. No, look, I get it, you want revenge - so would I, in your ... I guess those are shoes. But unlike everyone else I turn down for this, you've been starved and beaten and overworked and really, just ... no. You let me find a way in. That's enough.
Oh dear gods, will you shut up, Vezrah? ...Actually, no, your ranting is great cover for my stealthing around.
Headshot ... headshot... Eeeeeeeh ... I'll aim for the body on that one... Headshot ... and you have a Longleg in a pit and it's not doing anything. Fuckit; right to the concussion sac. BOOM.
Right. That was easy. Need to find a way in. Maybe through that door-- Oh. The rest of the prisoners. Okay, there's been data points that talked about a big bomb so please, please just listen to me when I say get the hell out of here. THANK you.
Right. This door now--
Oh. Wow. We get to listen to this one monologuing. Why can't I interrupt him with an arrow to the face when I have him monologuing?
I would much prefer start these things from stealth without him monologuing...
Fine! FINE I WILL DO MELEE COMBAT IF YOU MAKE ME! Ugh.
Right. Now you. Smoke bomb. Corner. Ooh, I seem to have aimed well for the face--
Oh you absolute shithead runningrunningrunningyaycutscene!
Well. There goes the story of you.
See, Yen? THIS is why I didn't want you to come with me. And look, if you want to help, maybe spread the story of how I helped you around Plainsong? I have a thing I need to talk to the Chorus about and every little helps.
Right. EXPLORATION.
Glinthawks! Proper ones! And I still have the knack of aiming for the belly and sending them down in a frozen shattered heap! WOO!
GREEN SHINY.
Right. I will go see what's down that bit of water...
Okay, maybe I won't just now. Maybe I'll grab the drone in Plainsong instead.
Ugh. I hate this blight shit...
Ooh, there's a Scrounger in there. Bye, Scrounger!
Right. Drone.
No, wait. Drone is supposed to stop.
Drone, WHY ARE YOU GOING SO FAST?!?
*Googles* Oh. Known bug. Greeeeeeeeeat. I'll go, save at a campfire, quit for the time being and try this later tonight. Hopefully the return to campfire will reset this shit like some people says it does and I won't have to do this ten or fifteen times.
Please Nixxes patch this bullshit soon anyway...
And now it's worktime. Yaaaaaay.
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Thess vs the Proving Lab
Welp. That happened.
And here we are - what's left of HADES. I mean, I'm surprised there's anything left of HADES at all, honestly. But I guess Sylens doesn't have so much a concept of mercy.
HADES, you are a shitheel. I mean, the Derangement and the Mysterious Signal probably contributed to that, but I don't think getting mucked with by Travis Tate et al helped all that much.
So ... wait ... Sylens, are you seriously telling me you left HADES alive (insomuch as an AI is alive) specifically so you could keep your word way back when you said you'd give me the means to destroy it? ...Well, if I'm running around settlements that look like Dreamer's Terrace, I guess it's fitting that I've got Fae-wording bargains coming from this dipshit.
And now you give me a schematic to let me ignite firegleam. Only when it suits you. Ugh, fine, I'll go hunt Leaplashers. (I hate Leaplashers.)
Best way to deal with Leaplashers - from the next post code over.
"Story and Easy Mode: you do not have to shoot off the power cores--" Can I ... do it anyway?
Right. Firegleam ignited. In we go!
So ... there was no mechanic for just ... letting me swim there? Really?
We're really hammering home the parallels between Sobek and Aloy, aren't we. Also ... why can I not punch Travis Tate in the face? I mean, really, I want to punch him in his face.
.........Well, this wasn't what I was expecting the "We still have dozens of hours of gameplay to give you so we'll contrive a problem" to be, but I'll take it. This game really enjoys kicking one in the metaphorical balls.
Sylens ... these are unknown quantities trying to come through the door, and you're not tellng me nearly enough, but I've done enough reading to know that the little you say you know? Is complete bullshit.
Yeah, see? Though now I'm almost regretting having crunched that particular Focus because I want a very good, very solid, "I TOLD YOU SO" right now.
(Also, if she was carrying around a spare Focus - or several, given what she told Varl at the beginning - why did she not do that six months ago? Or even when she discovered what he did to HADES? She knew Sylens had spyware! If she wanted to keep getting answers from him, she shouldn't have destroyed the spyware-filled Focus; she should have shoved it in a belt pouch and used a different one - at least until she wanted to pry answers out of Sylens again.)
...What the fuck are you people wearing? Did you get all your ideas on future fashion from Star Trek: TOS? That's tacky as fuck, guys.
Except you, Mini-Me. ...I have a Mini-Me. Great. And someone really needs to give you some actual shoes. Your feet must be cold.
(Yes, I notice this shit.)
Okay, these are not the machines I know, and ... yeah, I read a review at some point that talked about the "new machines" and how disappointing their designs were, and ... I get what they mean now. Robots should not ooze.
"One is trouble enough". Oooooh, Sylens, I wish I'd left you eavesdropping. Just because of how much you fucking hate being wrong.
Oh, so your horrible blingy jumpsuit has a forcefield on it. So this is going to be the most annoying fight ever.
...I get Aloy wanted information, but why was there no option to just jump in the damn water and swim?!? Why did she have to play some demented version of Tag to crash an entire ... whatever that fucking thing was when it wasn't even going to hurt him?!?
So jumping puzzle plus oxygen management plus stealth out the ass. This has been the most annoying fucking thing ever and I hate it. Good thing I'm way better at stealth.
...Crippling by Cutscene. THANKS FOR THAT.
Ah. Hi, Varl. Guess you're feeling better. I personally feel like shit. But I'm going to Do The Thing anyway--
Okay, that's fucking clever. The Utaru name their settlements for music because they remembered the old "do-re-mi" scale-singing from their ancestors' Cradle teachings, and let it live on in the name of their "land-gods". And this is the first civilisation that actually acknowledges what the machines were supposed to do. Everyone else treats them as a hazard at best; the Utaru worked in concert with them. So ... basically it's the Utaru that have it right. Neat.
Yeah, go be with your girlfriend, Varl. I will stay put, I promise. If only because a) the cutscene wants me to and b) I don't want to be that much of a hypocrite given everything I've said to you and Erend over the last little while. Also, c) someone ought to have a romance option that isn't one throwaway bit in the DLC.
(YES I KIND OF WANT TO ROMANCE EREND SHUT UP.)
Aaaaaaaand my ribs are better. And little green exclamation mark. Hi, Xenophobe Lady.
...Aloy? Why could you not just explain to the Xenophobe Lady what a 'thrush' is?!? Maybe she'd stop being such a bitch!
Right. I know there's all this saving-the-world stuff (though I have to admit I'm a lot less jazzed about that when I'm fighting Futuristic Techno-Gods or whatever), but I'm going to take a break and then I am going to go and ignite every bit of Firegleam I have passed so far. It has been taunting me.
(No, seriously, Futuristic Techno-Gods who bring all of the mindsets of the Old World with them? I don't want this. I am in this game for seeing how civilisations might shape themselves outside of the influence of the Old Gods - this is speculative fiction at its finest! And now you're giving me Futuristic Techno-Gods who are, in point of fact, generations old? And where were they all this time?)
(...They were in space, weren't they. IF THIS GAME SENDS ME TO SPACE I AM GOING TO THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW. METAPHORICALLY.)
Right. Yes. Break. Then, Firegleam and hunting. I ... am weirdly less jazzed about this game now that we're bringing the Old World this far into it. There's still enough for me to love, but none of it's the main plot. It's getting space-opera convoluted here - more clones, advanced technology, people treating the civilisations that formed without APOLLO as lesser--
...Wait. If we have APOLLO and DEMETER and HADES and HEPHAESTUS ... why do we have MINERVA? Every single one of the subordinate functions, and even the rogue AI Nemesis, were named for Greek gods, so why didn't they go with ATHENA?
Anyway, we're going into a vaguely colonialist direction far beyond shit like the Carja being stuck-up about everything and I am not sure I like it. Also I want to punch Sylens in the face for effectively arming the rebel Tenakth. What does he gain from destabilising the region? More to the point, what do these Techno-God dipshits gain from it? They have to be helping with that shit somehow.
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Thess vs Las Vegas, Again
I didn't want it to keep annoying me so I tried the stupid Gizmo quest again. And that was ... cooler than expected.
Right. Is it going to let me jump now? ...YES! Except that was the wrong way.
Not angled right.
FUCK.
OKAY THERE WE GO! And up the stairs we go!
Ah. Half a code. Greeeeeeeat. This is probably going to be more Playing With Crates thing, isn't it.
Yeeeeeep.
I mean, on one level, the things they've done with physics in this game are really remarkable. On the other hand, THIS IS ANNOYING.
Okay. Finally got everything stacked the way I need it to and-- Oh, fuck off ENTIRELY!
I get you wanted to make it a challenge, Guerilla, but if you want us to drag the crate, you have to not almost entirely obscure the hitbox with random set dressing!
FINALLY. Oop, outside. Well, sort of. In the dome, not in the vents. But with the way it's lit up with everything rebooted, I grant it's hard to tell.
Oh. They were used to change the lights for the holidays-- so the clovers were for St Patrick's Day, the eggs were for Easter, the hearts for Valentine's Day, the crescent moons for ... what, Eid? They included Eid? Fantastic.
WOO! Okay, heeeere gizmo gizmo gizmo...
Aaaaand we have candy canes. Christmas. Huh.
Okay. Now for Morlund's burner.
More messing with the physics THANK YOU FOR THAT.
Crate crate crate ... vent vent vent... LEAP. At least it's not as stressful as Cauldrons.
Oop. MORTE LE DRAGON! (Yes, the spelling is the same in French and English, but the pronunciation is so much not.)
Could those squeaky annoying pains in my ass have come out at the major impact? You know, DRAGON HEAD?!?
I. HATE. FIGHTING. CLOSE. UP.
Anyway. Got it. Stemmur first.
So basically if you put Stemmur, Abadund, and Morlund together, and then squished them a bit, you'd have one full Varric Tethras. And Oseram are what you get if you put together every dwarven stereotype in the known universe. Bling, ale, and forging.
Oooooh, I get to pick the holiday that shows up? ...What's Bodhi Day? I'd prefer do one I know but isn't quite so ... Western. Eid al-Fitr was more recent than most of these others, so I'll go with that one.
...Woooooooooow.
EDIT FROM THE FUTURE: Bodhi Day is "the enlightenment of Gautama Buddha". Huh. Wow.
Anyway. Off to Morlund. Here you go, Morlund--
Wait.
Waitwut.
Yeah okay, fine, I will ride your flying machine if--
He made a hot air balloon?!? Oh, that is awesome!
Stormy and some kind of machine... Do ... do I get to kill a Stormbird? DO I?!? ...I mean, assuming I survive this crash. Which I will assume because I don't think this is like Baldur's Gate 3, where one bad decision can just insta-gib you.
Yes, Morlund, I will get you out of your predicament but I will loot first!
Ah, so we need the burner because you are going to try this again. Maybe when I've fixed ELEUTHIA. So let's--
STORMBIRD! STORMBIRD YAY!
Still pretty good at hitting those weak spots, even when it's throwing a literal thunderstorm at my face-- Oop.
HA! Last sliver of health down by a shot to the neck right as it was about to breathe bullshit at me! Yes, Morlund, that was epic; thank you for your enthusiasm. It's nice to see my hard work appreciated now and then.
Morlund, you are adorable and I love your enthusiasm. You and your troupe are why I love the Oseram. Ingenious, intrepid, enthusiastic, loyal little freaks with hearts as big as their ale kegs.
(Okay fine there are some shitty ones like Ulvund and the Sons of Prometheus, but the latter don't count because they're more Sylens' people than any known tribe and the former ... well, he's probably mor an outcast than anything else right now. Those bad apples are being removed before they spoil the whole barrel.)
(Side note: YES THAT IS HOW THAT PHRASE WORKS. When people talk about, for example, the police forces only having "a few bad apples", the saying is, "A few bad apples spoils the barrel". So you remove the bad apples before they can do that. Or, in the case of most law enforcement, probably better to just set the whole barrel on fire, but never mind.)
Right. Pick up some side quests at Camp Nowhere before hanging it up for the night. 'Cos Talahna and... oh, hi, Porguf.
...Really.
......Really?!?
Yeah, that's better. Please try honesty with me, Porguf. I promise you I react to it better than steaming piles of bullshit. I will return the property you stole if I can but I gotta talk to my friend first and--
Talahna? There is more shit I don't know and you have zero idea how much I hate that but since the story demands it and I was heading in the direction of the Jungle Zone anyway, I will help you. But I want some NPC codex-dump out of you when we get there, okay? It's only because you are my friend that I'm going to trek around someplace called "The Rot".
That was the point at which I decided I was pretty much done. Yeah, I'm going through this game slowly and I definitely won't be doing a 100% completion run (I dislike melee pits and combat charger racing) but it's a pace I can manage and I'm having fun and that's all that matters.
Now I am going to raid my newly filled fridge for protein.
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Thess vs Spectres
So I finally got through that whole little chunk of main quest. And the only real reason I'm stopping now is a) hungry and b) frustrated and stuck.
Well, before I do anything, there's a rebel camp over there. Might as well clear it out.
DAMN I'm good. No one so much as saw me ONCE.
Okay okay okay, I know I know I know, Fate Of The World, etc etc. I'm going already.
I figure I can skip that cutscene; I have already seen it.
Well, at least I'm not doing all of the searching when I have companions. Just ... most of it.
Nora go down the hoooooooole...
Seriously, Zenith are assholes.
And code aaaaaaaand ... Beta. Cryogenically preserved Beta?
Wait. Wait did she have that thing in her skull? That thing is way too big to be an implant. What the fuck?
Good for you, Beta! Good for us, too!
ofuck.
Traps. Traps. What's this thing weak to? Acid. I'll try acid.
I AM TRYING TO SCAN IT, ALOY; IT JUST WON'T STAY STILL-- Theeeeeere we go.
And it didn't matter anyway because advanced acid traps are awesome, thanks.
Oshit Erend; hold on! ...Wait, why are you not scanning for weak spots and--? Oh, right, because you refuse to use a ranged weapons and your only combat strategy is "get out there and twat it one with warhammer".
Oh. Also because forcefield. Which is only in the front. Good thing you've got a sneaky bitch on side, Erend!
Okay, that's done. And now we can look at that weapon-- Fuck.
Right. Back to base. And everyone's freaking out about Beta. But at least they ask me how I'm holding up. ...Or assuming I'm fine. THANKS, EREND. I know you think I can do anything, but...
Oh, and Beta's not coping either. Okay. Vat-made humans, unite!
Yeah. Yeah, I knew they were still the original Far Zenith assholes. I just wasn't sure whether it was cloned bodies and data uploads a la Altered Carbon or ... well, this.
Look, you bought us time, Beta; we'll go after them as soon as we can. CHILL, already! But then again, you know how equipped they are and we don't, but still, never underestimate the ingenuity of someone who isn't an entitled asshole who never knew real hurt a day in their lives.
Right. Get this thing to GAIA to see if it can help us at all-- SYLENS YOU SHITBAG!
Fine. Okay. GAIA's working on it, Erend and Varl are going to help Beta cope ... oh. Hi Zo. Wait. You have a way to fix your land-gods? COUNT ME THE FUCK IN!
Hunting tiiiiiiiiiime! Whee!
Okay, that'll take some fixing. Lemme just go to Hidden Ember, as they're calling it now, and see what-- Oh. Hi Delah. Ah, Boomer gone missing. Okay, we'll go search.
I bet the Far Zenith assholes want to strip all life on earth because the people who designed Zero Dawn weren't eugenics-y assholes. I like that we still got people on the autism spectrum when humanity was reborn. I mean, I gather it's at least partly genetic. And it's a nice statement about how, no, vaccines don't cause that shit because none of these people know what a vaccine is.
Anyway. What is this thing you're now getting me to use? ...Oh. Okay, I will try this thing.
OKAY I HAVE TRIED THIS THING AND I DON'T LIKE IT CAN I HAVE MY BOW BACK PLEASE?!?
Right. I have used the shredder gauntlet whatever thing. I will never ever use it again. But thanks. That's sweet of you two.
Back to Hidden Ember, and ... okay, where the fuck is Stemmur?
Ah, there he is. And you want another 'gizmo'. I went with 'doohickey' myself, but you do you.
Down into the ruins I go-- Oh, come on, how did the machines come back?!? Well, at least it wasn't the Tideripper. Just Snapmaws, a Burrower ... and two Spinesnouts I didn't see shit shit shit.
And apparently I just accidentally tripped over the hardest vista in the game to find. Now, where's good?
There. There's good. That'll stop bugging me. Onward to the doohickey.
...Okay, I am clearly supposed to get to the grapple point and then jump onto that bit to the left but it is not letting me jump.
Lemme see if Google has any ideas-- And apparently not. Fuck.
Maybe I'll shut down for now and see if a restart actually lets me do what I need to do here. I need food anyway.
Also my mother will be turning up any time now with some treats she brought me back from Canada. Yay! And later I will try again, but how the fuck do I jump when the damn thing won't let me go in that direction because there is no climbing point there? Maybe I need to do a left-control press pointed in a different direction? Maybe? I dunno; this is a pain in the arse but apparently I can't give my stupid doohickeys to Stemmur if I don't get this one! Why can I not just tell him, "I have a sack full of the fucking things; I can get you that one later"?!?
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Thess vs Cauldron IOTA
Well. That was ... more than I was expecting it to be. I mean, the Cauldron too, but also just ... everything I ended up doing the last few hours. Sometimes Horizon Forbidden West is just ... chasing campfires is like chasing related links on Wikipedia - it never ends, and it takes you to places you don't necessarily expect.
Right. Big crevice through there, maybe that'll help. But I'll approach from above because something's going to be guarding...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand you're all standing just out of view. Fine. I will jump into this bush and then I will quietly murder you.
Ah, here we go. Wow; this thing's a fair bit more heavily guarded than the last one. Maybe they used beasties to give us the problems instead of just ... accessibility?
Okay, they're using both, but this could be worse...
You want me to do WHAT?!?
First attempt: failure. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT I WAS PRESSING THE BUTTON AND ALOY WOULD NOT JUMP GAH I HATE THIS. Well, at least I didn't die-die. I guess those few Survivor passives I picked up were worth it.
Second attempt: Success! Okay, now can I finally go into the Cauldron? THANK you.
Right. What's going to come at me? Rollerback, if I remember right. What don't Rollerbacks like? Purgewater? Acid? I'll go for one of each. Why not? I craft traps; may as well use them.
Oh the traps were a good thing because that came out of nowhere so lemme just step out of the way so I can shoot when it's weakened from--
...Did ... did I just one-shot a Rollerback with an acid trap? I mean, okay, it was an advanced acid trap, but... Wow. I should set up trapped sniper's nests more often.
Right. It couldn't be that easy, could it. Now, how do I get down without dying? Okay, here we go.
Wait.
Waitwut.
Waitwutno.
AAAAAAAAAAAA!
Okay got through that first time! Great! Now ... onward to clearing ... debris ... off a Tallneck head.
Okay, so I am supposed to just jump on its head. Okay.
So I just ride this head to-- Oh, FUCK OFF!
First attempt: failure. And actual death because I didn't prioritise the one with the ranged concussive blasts that can knock me off the damn Tallneck head. AIM BETTER, IDIOT.
Second attempt: success! Managed to one-shot everything, so that's good.
Right. Compared to some of the jumping puzzle shit I've been doing, this is easy. And I actually get to climb the Tallneck this time! I used to get a bit stressed over those, but seriously - compared to some of this shit? EASY.
TALLNEEEEEEEECK! And that just ... unlocked ... everything I'd already unlocked through exploration anyway. But never mind!
Okay, collecting campfires I missed last time and I think there's some greenshine and a data entry around here somewhere--
Wait. Wut.
Where the fuck did this Thunderjaw come from, and why the fuck is it charging right for me when I wasn't anywhere near it?!?
...Wait. Does that say APEX?!?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Okay. Fine. That's done. Greenshine. Sommeliers complaining. Stuff.
GO AWAY YOU LUNATIC MACHINES I WAS ONLY TRYING TO HUNT OWLS.
Look, Chargers, stop staring at me; I was only trying to shoot the damn goose! Okay, fine, you die too.
There's a ... Tremortusk out there? I WANNA SEE-- Oh. They're saving that for boss battle or something, aren't they. Boo.
But at least there's greenshine behind some firegleam and... Wait. Did that just give me the option to catch the salmon? Like, with my hands or something? I may have preferred shooting them but this'll do! POUCH UPGRADES!
Right. Question mark over there and... Oh. Rebels. They're probably guarding a campfire or something; lemme just get those out of my way and--
Oh.
I just ... started ... a rebel camp side quest. By accident. Oh well; never leave a job half-finished!
I really love it when none of them get a shot off at me. More tags. I will figure out what those are for eventually. Maybe even without Googling it. (I lie - I will almost definitely Google it because the curiosity is killing me.)
Okay. Right. Yes. I really need to log off now. Just lemme get to a shelter and-- YES! POUCH UPGRADES! Fine, it's regular ammo only, but I'll find moonfish eventually. AND I got to upgrade my short-range combat bow, because one-shotted Rollerback!
So a day in which I got stuff done, virtually speaking. Hell, I got Motherfucking Adult Stuff done too; took out the garbage and cleaned out the fridge in preparation for the groceries arriving tomorrow. This month has some gloriousness; there's going to be roast chicken and roast pork, and I am going to boil the chicken bones for stock (with herbs out of my very own little balcony-and-windowsill garden), and the leftovers will probably go into a jambalaya-ish sort of thing, or maybe a couple of batches of risotto. And I have fixings for chilli, and for bolognaise sauce. Add some gluten-free breaded chicken fillets (for lazy chicken katsu curry) and some of the long-life usuals (tinned tuna and frozen broccoli for the tuna broccoli lemon pasta, stuff like that), and with the occasional stop for fresher ingredients, I will eat well this month, and possibly on into next month.
I also treated myself to some coffee ice cream and fixings for French toast, because Being A Motherfucking Adult means you can have treats if you want them. And it's been a hard week.
#Thess plays video games#Thess liveblogs Horizon Forbidden West#Thess cooks#Thess is a motherfucking adult
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Thess vs A Few Side Quests
So I did go back to before I handed over POSEIDON, and decided to do a little more questing. And Stuff happened, as one generally hopes it will when you're playing a video game. So this is going to be bullet-points over the last few mornings, but I don't remember which days, exactly, so I'm going to do them all in a clump.
I have a diving mask and so I am going to go diving for greenshine yay!
All the way back up to the Daunt. At least these ones are relatively simple.
Huh. I have to break through rocks to do the thing. Okay.
Mrrrrr. This one is more complicateeeeed...
Hang on. Are there maps of the sunken caverns on my online map?
...There are! Holy shit! This will get easier!
Huh. On that note, I should probably go looking for those pass keys.
...ohfor-- GO AWAY YOU SQUEAKY MECHANICAL PAIN IN MY ASS.
Thank you. Now. Key.
Thankfully, no more mechanical pains in my ass for this one. Soooo ... now what?
Ah. At least these mechanical pains in my ass, I can shoot at. POONK.
So ... it's ... a shield generator. If I have a block function like unto a Soulslike, I am going to scream.
Oh. So like a tripcaster but it fires portable cover. Okay, I will put it in my inventory but I doubt I'm going to use it. Moving on.
Hrm. Okay, the Gouge has more mechanical pains in my ass and it won't go along its pathing so I think something bugged. Moving swiftly on.
Huh. Utaru clothes but Tenakth paint. The fuck?
Ah. Poor Tenakth idiots. I mean, I pretty well cleaned out the spot we're heading for but you do you, fam. ...Oh. I'm going too? Okaaaaay...
Huh. Nothing in particular. Right.
Oh, so the Tenakth are one of those asshole groups that will kill a disabled person just 'cos they can't fight anymore, when they could do something else. Greeeeeeat.
Yes, why doesn't he go to Plainsong and let the rest of you guys go home? I promise it won't be so much an issue when I get a hold of DEMETER and make your land-gods stop overfertilising your fields.
This morning, I shall take on the last of this particular area's rebel bases. But first ... Stalkers. I need Stalker bits.
...Um ... they climb trees now?
Ooh. I'm still very good at shooting them when they're cloaked.
Now. Rebels. ...Ooh, firegleam.
Right. REBELS. ...But there's Sunwings and Skydrifters in the way. POONK.
Okay-- Wait. What's this? Little green exclamation mark and ... that's Blaze. A whole bunch of it. Just ... sitting there. I think I'm going to stay as far back as possible and prepare to--
YEP THIS IS AN AMBUSH DODGEROLL DODGEROLL.
FUCK. OFF. REBEL. SHITBAGS.
Now Rebels? ...NOW rebels. Because seriously, ambush is a shitty thing to do.
Still no one so much as firing off a shot, though they do keep looking for me ... right up until they get an arrow to the face. That's always fun.
"She must have run off to lick her wounds"? Really? First of all, none of you so much as grazed me. Second of all? Who the fuck are you talking to?!? I made everyone else in this camp DEAD! Eh well. POONK.
I would love to do more, but work does tend to get in the way. Off I go.
Seriously, it's been a weirdly tough week and I haven't had that much in me lately. This weekend is probably going to be Cauldron IOTA and getting that quest for ELEUTHIA, probably in about that order, but for now, tiredness wins and I've been alternating between occasional bouts of random hunting in Forbidden West in the morning and House Flipper 2 in the evening. I hate fibro fatigue. It sucks.
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Thess vs Main Story Quests
I will happily take on Thunderjaws. I will ... somewhat regretfully take on Rockbreakers, Rollerbacks, and Shellsnappers (only because they're annoying little fucks). I will pick off entire camps of machine-riding rebels with great glee.
...But I'm fucking terrified of trying to dive down an elevator shaft for a fucking air compressor. Because I will have to do a speedy because of lack of oxygen, and I am not good at doing a speedy.
But ... if I do this I won't have to worry about running out of oxygen when swimming ever again. So ... I should get this over with, right?
Right.
Bleeeeeeeeh.
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Thess vs the Sons of Prometheus
Had to leave off last night because the migraine was too bad to start in on the hyperfocus. Feeling somewhat better today, so I figured to just get a few side quests going.
Right. Runda's Rollerback salvage. And then maybe I'll go do Handa's stuff because it feels unfair. Granted, Runda really needed help whereas Handa's just ... erm ... Handa, but y'know. Fairness in all things? I guess?
Oh. Except if I'm really being fair, I should probably check on that rebel camp the delvers have been on about.
This is ... actually useful. Show myself juuuuuuuuuust enough to lead people out of camp, and then shoot them when they're out in the open. I am such an ambush predator.
Only problem is knowing exactly how much or how little is "showing myself juuuuuuuuuuuuuust enough" because now I'm in melee. Oh, fuck you, rebel shithead.
...I ... do not know how I did that thing where I rammed Aloy's knee into her attacker's face but I doubt I will be able to repeat it. No matter how much I want to. This is part of why fighting games will never be my thing. Well, that and the fibro.
And we're in the camp and ... where is everybody else? Oh. Right. I lured them all outside and killed them.
...Oooooooh, so this is how they're overriding machines. I mean, respect to them for figuring out that whole deal of pulling remote override cores out of Corrupters and then trapping machines with the intent of performing surgery on them, but still, yeesh. Also they can't be doing very well at this if there are this many machine corpses lying around.
Welp. No more of you. Stabby-stabby.
Okay. So. Where is everybody else?
Ah. There's like three of them behind this wall. How do I get in?
Oh. Okay. Gate.
And you ... and you ... aaaaaaaand you. Sorry, Son of Prometheus sniper; I am a waaaaaay better sniper than you. Now. Let's have a look.
Focus that I need to deal with back at base. Right. Okay. I had to go back there for a couple of bits and pieces of quest anyway. I guess this is important enough to drag me back there fairly soon.
Also ... can I just pretend in my head that the Oseram going along with this were just caught by the possibilities of the tech, and aren't blatantly evil? I usually like the Oseram.
...Well, there was Ulvund. Like I said; usually.
.........Maybe if I tell Erend about this, he can crack some Oseram heads and tell them to stop being shitheads. That'd be nice.
Anyway. Rollerback salvage. If I actually have to kill a Rollerback for this, I'm going to be pissed.
Oh. Okay. So it's just picking salvage out of a field and--
OFUCKSHELLSNAPPER DODGEROLLDODGEROLLDODGEROLL!
Right. So much for you, you subterranean pain in my ass. Now. ROLLERBACK. SALVAGE. Plus some extra Shellsnapper bits.
Oooh. Shiny close-range bow. This will be useful when I've upgraded it a little more. I should put together a shopping list.
(Honestly I'm really glad that whatever arbitrary time limit I've been given to get main quest shit done isn't really worth beans. I'd hate to think I doomed the world because I was trying to help an Oseram lady win an armour contest and upgrade my gear Because Reasons.)
Okay. I should head in a Handa-ward direction, but again I'm going for campfires and ... oh. Ruins. I should check those.
If there's a metal flower in there I am going to scream and punch things.
Nope. Just Firegleam. Now ... how am I doing this?
Huh. We're playing with water physics today, are we? Okay. A-swimming we will go.
Y'know, I didn't even look at what symbols this stupid holo-whatever was giving off. I have ceased to care. I am soggy and I would like out of the water hole, please.
(Why can't we go tell Drakka that, hey, if they want to go south a ways, there's a whole flooded ruin that might be a source of potable water while they wait for the Wound to fill up again? This feels like a waste.)
Right. More campfires and ... okay, that Thunderjaw looks upset. Oh, look, Oseram are baiting it again. Lemme see what I can do about this.
STOP. MOVING. NO. STOP. YOU ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF MY SHOT-- uhoh.
SO glad I'm getting better at dodge-rolling. Smoke-bomb, dodge-roll, INTO the bush I go.
Okay. There. That's dealt with. Oseram, STOP BAITING THE THUNDERJAWS. YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR DEPTH.
What's all this now? Oh. Rebels. It's dark, I'm stealthy, and you're all doomed. Bye, rebels!
Ooh. Spikesnout. I can always use bits from them.
Okay. Just going to collect this shelter, because shelters are awesome and it's the best place to pause for the day. Though I should consider going back to Base later to drop shit off, and also to a settlement to dump some vendor trash.
Also I need to see if I can upgrade anything-- Huh. One upgrade on the shiny purple short-range bow. What do I need for upgrade 2? Ah. Greenshine cluster. I have fragments and slivers a-plenty, but no clusters. Lemme check my map.
Okay, new order of proceedings. Stop game, have food, see how much time I have before D&D, and then possibly go hunt up that greenshine cluster up in the mountains to the east.
I have more to-do lists for my video games than I do for my Being A Motherfucking Adult sometimes and it's weird. Ah well. At least it's more fun. And takes up fewer spoons.
On that note, food.
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Thess vs People In Difficulty
I did not want to be up early this morning but apparently the building management has the landscapers in so I woke up to tree-trimmers at 9am. Ugh. Anyway...
YESTERDAY MORNING
I do not have much time this morning because I did actually sleep until my alarm for once. Sooooo campfires. Heeeeeere campfires campfires campfires...
Huh. Quest up there. Who's this?
Someone getting attacked by machines. Let's do this.
...Okay, lady. I get being protective and tight-lipped, but...
Did ... did you just build a radio? You reverse-engineered a radio.
Riiiiiiight. I forgot how sexist the Oseram can be. Look, lemme see what I can pick up.
Quick climb and ... yes. Okay. Little better.
Well, apparently either Aloy doesn't know the word 'triangulate' or has decided that Silga doesn't. Either way, decent explanation.
Aww. Poor Silga. I will get the triangulations done. ...But not today because I have work. Shelter aaaaaaaand done.
THIS MORNING
Right. Next triangulation coordinate is up there someplace, and there's a Tallneck I can pick up on the way! Score!
Erm. Burrowers and Ravager on one side, Thunderjaw on the other. Talk about a rock and a hard place. Well, let's do some hunting.
One-shotted everything from stealth? Awesome. Aaaaand yeah, I'll go take out a Thunderjaw.
Gun ... radar array ... canister ... gun... Hee. POONK.
You still have mouth lasers buuuuuuut I am largely behind a rock. POONK. Bye, Thunderjaw.
...Sooooooooo there is nothing I can climb to get on this Tallneck. I guess I'm going to have to learn to unlock a flying machine, and then ride one. Yeesh.
Moving on toooooo ... oh, someone's in trouble.
...These are just Chargers, kids. Seriously.
Well, thanks for the welcome. I needed into Shattered Spear for a couple of reasons.
Hrm. Before I start doing things, let's go shopping. Let's see ... weapons.
Oooooooooh SHINY hunter bow. Overdraw damage, critical hit damage, critical hit chance ... stick on a couple of good coils and we're good.
Speaking of, what do they have for... PURPLE STEALTH DAMAGE COIL?!? MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!
Right. Climbing the Spear.
Just about to the top and then fell. FUCK. Glidiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing.
Okay, now how do I get up that last bit of--? Oh. There's a ramp inside. Duh.
Well, getting better. I can do the base one later. Lemme go talk to Tuvok-- Jetakkah, I mean.
Okay. Dude. Wait. Where are you going?
Why are you walking up to a wall and just standing there?
Right. This is bullshit. What's the quest name?
"Forbidden West wound in the--" Ah. That's already a commonly used search term. Wiiiiiiiiiiith "bug" attached to the name.
NOTE: To those playing this, if Jetakkah gets stuck walking into a wall? Restart, try again. Not just reload; restart. If that doesn't work, fast travel far away, restart, try again.
This apparently counts for both times this quest gets commonly bugged.
(It was an issue on Playstation too, so this isn't just a port issue.)
Right; I'm about done for the morning anyway. I'll try again later.
And now, work.
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Thess vs Horizon Las Vegas
Took a bit of time this evening to do MORE STUFF.
I could check in on Camp Nowhere ... or I could grab some campfires and do some hunting. Camp Nowhere can wait.
First thing's first - REBEL CAMP.
You guys're riding Bristlebacks. Hooboy. And one, and--
FUCK. Okay I need a smoke cloud, like, NOW.
YOU FUCKING STUPID THING WHY IS THERE NO SMOKE? I PRESSED THE--
WHOA what the fuck just--?
Oh. This thing auto-resets to ... advanced spark trap. Well. Other machine and two dudes are proper dead so I guess I can't complain--
OSHITDODGEROLL.
Dude with GIANT HAMMER.
I really, really need to figure out how the spiffy melee moves I've been unlocking actually work.
Sir, I salute you and your armour now FUCK OFF.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand your little friends too.
Right. That's enough of that. Now let's see what we see.
Hrm. More Bristlebacks. And some more parts never hurt anyone. So ... let's see what we can do with ... let's say an acid trap this time. Aloy does keep musing at me that acid is a good thing here.
.........Well. That happened. DAMN. Maybe I should set up traps around my sniper's nests as a matter of course from now on.
There is apparently a slab of greenshine up there and I might be able to climb at least partway to it. Let's see how far I can go.
Okay, so I managed to use a grapple point while jumping off the building. I am definitely getting better at that.
Ooooooh. Behemoth convoy. And that's an Apex Behemoth.
...I wonder if I can shoot it down from here with my sharpshot bow.
.........I can! And there are some very pissed off and confused Ravagers down there who have no the fuck idea where I am and are searching their perimeter at ground level. This is hilarious.
And now they're out of alert mode and back in sharpshot bow range. POONK. POONK. I love my new sniper's nest.
Unfortunately, I cannot stay here forever and I can't find my way up to the grapple point and the greenshine yet so I'mma go down and salvage my kills and keep exploring.
Wow. This is the first time we actually get a look at a heavily built up urban area (or at least, one that's still recognisably a heavily built up urban area) after the apocalypse. I mean, I've never been to Vegas personally so I don't know if there's anything that might be recognisable as a landmark to someone who lives there (at least, not yet) but it's still kind of chilling.
And off we go, getting more campfires-- Ooh. Longlegs.
Aaaaaaaaaand that says Apex. Heeeeeheeheehee.
I love it when I hit them in the concussion sac and take out two at once!
Right. Campfire and-- Settlement. Oseram in trouble. But map says "salvage contracts", so--
Oh. Oh, Runda. I will get you so many things. I would really like it if you won Keruf's little competition but mostly I just don't want you to die because you are so very nice.
Handa? Eh, she can wait. I don't want you dying to Tenakth rebels or starvation. BRB, killing you a Bellowback. Not in my favourite way in the world, but...
Aaaaaaaaand there's my Bellowback.
DODGE-ROLL. DODGE-ROLL. SO MUCH DODGE-ROLL.
HOW THE FUCK IS THE ACID GLOB FOLLOWING ME?!? THIS IS NOT 'WANTED'; YOU CANNOT CURVE BULLETS, AND YOU ARE NOWHERE NEAR AS GOOD-LOOKING AS ANGELINA JOLIE ANYWAY!
Okay. There. Dead Bellowback, big cargo sac intact. Running back to Runda to let her know before something, like, eats it or whatever.
After all that, I'd decided I'd had enough. I am exhausted. One way or another, there'll be time for more salvage quests tomorrow. Probably in the later evening, as I have some errands to run after work and I'm actually really hoping I sleep until my alarm tomorrow morning.
(Bet I won't, though. My body's being a shitheel to me about that.)
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Thess vs the Desert
Well, I seem to have aimed a bit for POSEIDON without really meaning to, but it's been quite the ride thus far.
LAST NIGHT
Hmmkay, what've we got this way? Ooh, a settlement.
...Well, fuck you too.
"Hair like blood", huh? That's ... a descriptor. I guess.
You ... pen the machines and slaughter them that way, huh? HAEPHESTUS probably doesn't like that very much... Yeah, see? You guys are such efficient hunters you get Thunderjaws thrown at you. Yes, I will help.
So ... yeah, I heard something about this from the flood people - you have to trade machine parts for water that's not polluted? This is some Immortan Joe bullshit, right here.
Right. None of this right here is too onerous. No Thunderjaw yet. This here is just a Tuesday, frankly.
(I mean, literally. It is Tuesday.)
So ... "bagged and tagged" means to bury with honours here? That's actually kind of fascinating. Because what it means in the real is just "put in body bag and tie a tag to the toe to identify them", but because they all wear dog tags... Huh. I do love how the Cradle people worked out things based on a combination of religion and really basic anthropology.
Wait. The Tenakth -- the TENakth -- call on the Ten. I checked, and it's not branches of military, unless they added more in this world's future / past / whatever. Hmm. How many subordinate functions does GAIA have? ...Nine. And GAIA makes ten. Clever.
Right. Onward to get your fellow hunters their honourable burial-- Oh, hey, you got a survivor! Great!
Yes. That is a Thunderjaw. Now stop yelling at me I am hiding in this bush for a reason.
Gun gone, gun gone ... Thunderjaw gone without firing off a shot.
Oh, you want me to go on ahead with the hearts? You're trusting me big time. But I guess since I just two-shotted a Thunderjaw for you, that's fair.
I'mma hunt those Frost Bellowbacks first. Sorry not sorry.
And see? I barely just beat you here with your injured comrade.
Oh. You think something bad is going on in your capital whatever. And having to pay that kind of premium for potable water wasn't enough? Yes, fine, I will meet you there later but I kinda need some Tallnecks first.
Also ... hi, Tuvok.
Right. Gonna edge my way south a bit for a few more campfires and... Ooh. Question mark. What is--? Oh. Oseram camp.
Ah. You were waiting on those folks on the other side of the mountains. Yeaaaaaaah that didn't go well. I'll help you deal with that tomorrow.
THIS MORNING
Right. Going to go track what happened to the rest of that dude's crew.
Rumble rumble-- This is going to end with a Rockbreaker, isn't it.
Alas, poor Lunda. Also ... yep. Rockbreaker.
There is some shiny down here. Hope Porguf doesn't mind my having hit this place first. Well, if he does, that's his problem. I've got Burrowers and a probably-Rockbreaker to deal with.
Aha! Way out! ...Wait, did I just get trapped in-- No, there's enough room to sneak through the gap that's left.
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Rockbreaker. Sneak. In. Quietly.
Okay. I am concealed in a high place. SHOW YOURSELF, YOU SUBTERRANEAN ANNOYANCE-ENGINE!
Theeeeeeeeeeeere you are. Okay. This might get spicy. POONK.
...
......
.........I. Just. One-shotted it.
I JUST ONE-SHOTTED A ROCKBREAKER AND THEREFORE WIN AT EVERYTHING!
Right. More shinies and ... yes, Porguf, you can have your lockbox back.
Aloy, only you would consider "vertically up a mountain" to be a 'shortcut'.
And now that I've mastered gliding, I can-- SUNWINGS SHIT INTO A BUSH.
Okay, there's you dealt with. I'll turn in this quest and see what I have to climb for the Tallneck--
What do you mean, "it looks damaged"?!?
Right. Porguf, here. I'll be back after I look at that apparently damaged Tallneck and maybe take out a rebel outpost or something.
Oseram have been trying to take down a Tallneck?!? Ambitious little buggers, I'll give you Oseram weirdoes that, but HAEPHESTUS clearly is not a fan of their plans. But I need to do the same idiocy that got you dipshits killed so I can fix your dipshittery.
Okay ... one anchor, and we get Burrowers. Bye, Burrowers.
Two anchors, aaaaaaand ... Sunwings.
YES I KNOW I COULD USE THE BALLISTA ON THE SMALLER MACHINES, BUT I DON'T WANT TO! THESE THINGS HAVE NO PRECISION!
Huh. Bellowback. ...Acid Bellowback, in point of fact. New scan, huzzah. Now, lemme pop you like a pimple-- Theeeeeeeeere we go.
Okay, those are impressive when they go down.
Aaaaaand reboot! Huzzah! BEGONE, FOG OF WAR!
Right. I probably do have time to hit a rebel outpost but I do not have the energy to do so. I need to save spoons for work. So lemme clear these Burrowers out of my way, set up at this shelter, and I can deal with other stuff later or tomorrow or whatever.
I do not know what's been waking me so damn early lately. Maybe I need thicker curtains. Eh, at least it gives me "wake up to the Forbidden West" time...
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Thess vs Virtual Flooding
Woke up way too early 'cos pain. Decided to do usual pain management technique of "hyperfocus past it until the paracetamol kicks in". And so:
Time to check out that bunch of poor sods who got their village flooded.
Hi, guys. You're much friendlier than the machine-riders, though you have literally no reason to be-- More survivors, possibly? I'm on it.
Oh. Okay, we need to get you a way down from there. I imagine this crane should be fine.
HOW DO I MOVE THE CRANE SO I CAN DO ANY OF THE OTHER THINGS I'M SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO TO IT?
Oh. Firegleam. UNDERWATER. Because I'm supposed to be able to see that. Somehow. Fine. BOOM.
And now I can give that a good yank, and shoot that, and ... voila! Ramp!
There's a bunch of poor fuckers effectively treed by Snapmaws. Bye, Snapmaws!
Oh. Fuck. There is insufficient cover. Right. Time to smack things.
"Use the boulders--!" FUCK OFF I CANNOT AIM THERE IS A SNAPMAW IN MY FACE.
And there. We. Go. Yeah, yeah, metal towers, do we have a Kentokk among you? No? Well, just thought I'd ask.
So now I have to get in the thing and find a way to get them out. Climbing climbing climbing.
I am getting better at this messing-with-the-set-dressing jumping puzzle shit, I must say.
Oh, the ladder's stuck? Well, sucks to be you, ladder. WOE - ALOY BE UPON YE.
Still looking for Kentokk. "The Gouge", huh? That sounds ... ominous. Oh well. In we go.
Oof. You look rough, dude. Lemme see what I can do.
Well, after much hopping around, I have located Firegleam. So we flood this place and let you float up! No problem!
Aaaaaaaand you died anyway. FUCK.
Thank you, Natikka. The armour doesn't suit my fighting style, but I'm not going to be rude.
Right. Grab a nearby campfire and...
I do not. Have time. To hunt Thunderjaws. I may have time to scavenge for Handa.
Stuff for you and lots of vendor trash yay! ...Wait, what other site?
Oh. I guess I got the other site already. Okay. Fine.
And off to a workbench. Finally actually bought some machine parts so ALL CAN BE UPGRADED! Well. Some can be upgraded. Gonna have to hunt vultures soon.
Right. No more time. Work must be done.
As an added "oh shit" ... somehow we went from sixty-odd reports to over 250. Someone must have been in over the weekend. Lots of someones, maybe. That or we've got unexpected absences again. Shiiiiiiit.
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Thess vs Rollerbacks
I mean, @true0neutral warned me about those fuckers...
Right. First lemme get close enough to the ruins so I can fast travel there. Might be useful later. Much later, given metal flower.
Got it. Back to campfire and-- Ravager site.
RAVAGER. SITE. Hiding.
Does ... does that say Apex?
Yep. Cannon dies first.
Aim wasn't so great on Ravager the Second. Oh well, it died with minimal issues for me, so that's fine.
Okay, I wanted to check out that question mark--
Metal. Flower. AGAIN. Mrrrrrrr.
To a shelter. To a shelter so I can see if I can finally upgrade my quivers--
YEEEEEEEEES! Aaaaaaaaaand ... now I need more things' skin. More hoofing it, I guess.
(If it wants me to get salmon bones, does that mean it'll finally let me shoot at things in the water? I really miss shooting fish out of streams...)
Lemme check out north a bit first. A bit of exploration never hurt anyone--
PLOWHORNS. Spreading blight everywhere. Great. But I need Plowhorn horns, so...
Ah. Right. They have Burrowers playing guardian, so lemme just...
Wait. Everything seems to be dead but it still says machines are alerted--
Clawstrider. Right. Go away.
Ooh, drone! Lemme find a good launch point to jump on the drone--
Ah. Rebel scouting party. Bye, Tenakth rebel--
"Is the Nora hiding out there somewhere?" ...Oh, that's hysterical. Someone dies to arrow fire and the first thing they think of is, "OH SHIT, SHE'S HERE!" I mean, they're not wrong, but...
Right. They're gone with a minimum of issues. Now it looks like that platform over there is where I jump for the drone.
This platform is way too narrow for sprinting to make any difference. Right?
WRONG. Climbing up again, trying sprinting for all of ... two and a half feet. Sheesh.
Got the data, aaaaaaaaaand ... the Plowhorns are back. Again. Well, parts are a good thing. And that's ... a ... Rollerback. I've been warned about these. I will stay clear. Tail is... POONK. Gone.
Right. Keep going north for a bit aaaaaaaaand... SCAVENGER CONTRACTS! WOO!
Plowhorns. You want me to go ... and kill Plowhorns. Again. But you also want me to collect the flowers that-- Oh, this is getting weird, but fine...
So here I am, quietly stalking along in the path of a blight-spreading Plowhorn, collecting flowers. Well, I guess I get to put my stealth armour to use.
Flowers done. And, since I'm so wonderfully placed, I'll hit this sucker in the spot behind his neck ridge-thing.
Aaaaand THAT'S a one-shot kill. Except this has gained some attention and here comes a Rollerback. I should take the time to properly scan--
Wait. DOES THAT SAY APEX?!?
WILL YOU STAND THE FUCK STILL, YOU UPPITY AI-DRIVEN PILLBUG?!?
Getting better at dodge-rolling, I can tell you that much. Shame that it's driving me right into the damn blight all the time!
And I have gone flying. At least it's out of the blight...
OKAY, OKAY, I WILL UNLOCK SOME SHIT ON THE WARRIOR TREE, FINE, WHATEVER, NOW LET ME GET THIS THING'S FACE!
...There is nothing better in the world than getting off a point-blank shot at something's undercarriage while it's in the middle of attacking you and having that be the kill shot. Hooboy.
Right. Now can I go kill the other Plowhorn?
THANK you.
I should gather some other bits and pieces on my way back. There's an Unknown Shelter over there--
Flooded Tenakth village. Yes, I will go check that out, but I want to get this shit to Handa first.
Handa, you are ... enthusiastic, I'll give you that. But really, dial the ... I dunno, the "artiste" thing down a couple of notches? I honestly want that poor jerk from No Man's Land to win this one, of the scavenger people I've met so far.
Now, brief detour to base to drop off data module stuff and unlock how to properly override Plowhorns. Then off to someplace that's not ... y'know, Up In The Mountains.
Right. I do have work tomorrow, more's the pity, so I'll call it a night for now and tomorrow ... depends when I wake up, but depending on timings, it's either investigate the flooded settlement or ... whatever other scavenger contract is closest to my current position or can be easily fast-travelled to in the morning and the evening ... depends on how I feel. Just ... gods, I only had time off a few weeks ago; how do I need more already?
(Right, yes, I know, fibromyalgia, one of the symptoms is fatigue, I get it, but it's still a pain in the arse.)
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Thess vs Western Expansion
There's going to be more playing later - I'm in the exploration phase I tend to enjoy, so that's all fun. However, needed a bit of a break after trying a thing what I tripped over and should have known better than to really try...
First off, lemme dump that drone data back at base. Just so it's not nagging me, and-- Oh! I can have a chat with Zo! That's cool!
Oh. Oh, honey. Honey, the Chorus should be listening to you way, way more. I mean, I know that there'd be no game if there weren't any obstructive idiots, so you were kind of hard-wired into this frustration, but ... still.
So I've deposited my drone data and at least given Zo someone to talk to through her existential crisis. So now what? Question marks, that's what. Still stuff left unexplored in the Daunt, after all. Not much, but some.
Buuuuuuuut there's a rebel outpost in the way. If I want to make it a little easier for my allies to get over to this side of the mountains, maybe I should clear that out.
You don't seeeeeeee meeeeeee... Heeheehee. POONK.
I do love it when I can get through these without anyone firing at me. Now. What's over here?
Fire Bristleback hunting site. Cool.
Yes, I know I can override - and actually ride - the Bristlebacks. ...Oh, fine, I will ride the damn Bristleback.
You are CHONK, dude. I have decided I will not look too far into how fast you go.
Right. Back over we go so we can check out... Oh. We have Burrowers and Clawstriders in the way. Aaaaand I was not as careful about stealth as I should have been.
Wait. The Bristlebacks came back? I was only away for like ten seconds! Okay, now everything wants my face. AAAAA!
HOLD STILL SO I CAN WALLOP YOU, CLAWSTRIDER!
Ofuckofuckofuck...
Okay. Finally. Now, what is over there that I went through that idiocy for?
...Metal. Flower. I figure I have to deal with DEMETER for that. And DEMETER is last on the list (even though I'm technically at a level where I could do that, but still). Boo.
There's apparently a loooot of debate about which of the subordinate functions one should go for first. AETHER is apparently the lowest level one but is the longest to cope with and involves two big bosses, and POSEIDON is more about the sneak, but if I deal with DEMETER first, I get rid of the damn red blight all over Plainsong. I'm going to have to think on that while dealing with side questy stuff.
Anyway. Back to the hunting.
Huh. Another bit of rumour. Talk of another chef! Awesome!
Wait. Machine riders. How are so many people riding machines now?!? Well, it wants me to follow them, so I guess I'll follow them.
.........Charger racing. Seriously.
COMBAT Charger racing?!? You have got to be kidding - okay, fine, I will try this.
OW OW OW OW OW THIS IS BULLSHIT OW.
I made surprisingly good showing, but I didn't win, so I don't get to ask questions. Fine. Y'know what? I don't need these answers that badly. I have a world to save and more to the point? That fucking hurt. No more Charger racing. Yeah, call me a weenie if you want to, Tenakth machine-riders, but I think you'd rather not die.
And another rebel outpost nearby! I can clear that easy.
...They have a Ravager?!? Oh, fuck those guys.
Also they're smart and have sentries in the foothills. Still, no problem. I can cope with this.
Ugh. I'm going to have to break cover to get the leader again.
And knocked RIGHT off my perch. BUT I GOT YOU JUST AS IT BLEW, YOU SONUVABITCH!
And one last sentry aaaaaaaaaaand ... done. And there's ... ancient ruins over there. I should go look at those.
Car graveyard under and around a ... billboard. And collecting things that apparently will be required for something, somewhere, later. Mooooooooore collectibles. *sigh* yaaaaaaaaaaaaay.
LIZARD! Lizard give me your skiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!
YEEEEEEEEES LIZARD SKIIIIIIIIIIN! Also there's a peccary. I think I need those bones too! YAAAAAAAY!
Can I shoot the scorpion?
I ... can shoot the scorpion. How I have a whole "crunchy scorpion" when I shot it point-blank with a precision arrow I have no idea, buuuuuuuuut...
Okay, there's a campfire and I should probably start thinking about dinner. The Old World ruins can wait.
Wait. Hang on. Lemme check something.
...Those ruins have a metal flower. They're gonna have to wait. So I'll think about what to do next while I prep dinner.
Yep. More food than just some grapes and some corn thins is required. Lacy Person's chicken katsu curry it is. And then I'll see what I can upgrade, do some hunting, maybe find a Tallneck. Chill stuff.
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Thess vs MINERVA
After all the Being A Motherfucking Adult of yesterday, the rest was entirely a recovery day. Might have picked up Forbidden West again if I was in the middle of Zen hunting and travelling to someplace and that kind of thing. Not when I had Jumping Puzzle of DOOM ahead of me. But I decided I could do it today.
Right. Here we go. Aaaaaaand of course there's a forcefield. Finding a way around.
So there's going to be guardian machines around here somewhere because they've been everywhere, so what do we have? Burrowers? Scroungers? Scrappers?
...Of course it's fucking Leaplashers. FUCK. OFF. LEAPLASHERS.
Okay, now what? Ah. Shoot the glowies. I can do that. Poonk. Poonk. POONK.
Hrm. Stuff in the way. Find a thing to weight it down-- Wait, when did we start playing Portal?
Of course it can't be that simple. Shove shove shove. Run run run. Drag drag drag. Blegh.
Oh shit I missed shooting one BACK I GO.
Okay. FINALLY. Right. What next? Oh you want me to glide now.
NO NO NO I PRESSED SPACE YOU STUPID-- and into the lava I go.
Right. So from there to there to there. Lemme check my timings.
(Fuck I'm glad I do story mode on this. I bet the timings are way less forgiving in other modes. Fibro does not allow for that kind of precision.)
And more timings for the vent aaaaaaand... Ride the floaty machines, okay. YEET.
I admit it's kind of nice having someone around marvelling at the awesome and frankly insane shit I do in these things.
Aaaaand we're in. Oh. Fuck. Well. Sorry, land-god, HAEPHESTUS is a jackass.
Also ... really sorry, Zo, but you're right, your people can't see this. I am so, so sorry that HAEPHESTUS is a jackass.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH COVER IN THIS STUPID CAULDRON FUUUCK.
Okay. Everything be dead. Thank you. Now. Fuck. Off. HAEPHESTUS.
Oh. So you're stealing a trick off me and hiding in the cloud. Well, fuck you too.
Oh. And we have a Cradle. And MINERVA is not happy. Yeah, I'm not exactly having the best day either, MINERVA.
Aaaaaaand we're stuck in a room. Well, fuck that. I can climb. And pry open doors. And open vents. And-- ooh, hey, green shiny!
Right. Lengthy cutscene incoming-- Oh, come on, MINERVA, I am trying to help you here!
"MISERY ... WILL CEASE?" Oh damn I'm nearly crying over an AI. (Like, an actual AI, not what the tech bros and corporate shills are trying to foist on us in the real.)
Hi, GAIA. You-- Wait, you're digging through my Focus? Hang on; all the stuff I recorded on my old Focus was destroyed, so how are you getting Rost? Were my Foci networked? If so, doesn't that mean Sylens can just spy on everything? Or is it just that you're a techno-god AI thing that--? Okay I will stop poking the Jenga Tower of Logic for now.
Yeah, please don't scare my friends. Thank you.
So ... wait. This base is, like ... mine, now? Can I maybe ... like ... hang a few plants? Tapestries? Furs? Something, I dunno; this place is kind of gloomy as fuck.
Ooooooh so this is what the drone data's for! Oh, dude, this is gorgeous.
Wait. So there's a mechanic to get better at overriding machines now? Huh, and I need more Plowhorn bits. I don't think the Utaru will like me shooting their land-gods for that, so I guess I'll have to hope for more on the other side of the mountains.
...Oh, you Odyssey bastards. I kind of wonder how much is "descendent" and how much is "clone" at this point, since the woman's voice I heard in that little collection of folks was very much like the Tilda I heard talking to Elizabet in one of those old data points. Those shitheels really did just want to live forever.
And now they want to TAKE OVER THE WORLD-- Fuck's sake, by killing everyone who already lives here? Fuckheads. You're not better just because you have a bunch of history books or whatever! You're just the same kind of grasping assholes as left the world in its sorry state the last time!
(I'm honestly not sure what this says about colonialism, though I admit it's nice to be the individuals fighting against the colonialist shitheads because, hey, we were here first and we survived without your tech-god bullshit.)
Yeah, I don't really know how I feel about another machine-army either. If I could just get something to shut down their stupid forcefields, I'd be happy with that. Just make them vulnerable to the Arrow-To-Face manoeuvre, and I'll cope. Then again, something needs to go after their Venom-Meets-Modrone bullshit.
Okay, what's going to be the excuse to let me wander alone this time? ...Aloy, that's actually smart. Let them in on it; let them understand, or at least as much as they're going to through the filters of their experience and--
Oh. You're going to go get Erend? I can live with that. And Zo is ... probably going to end up some kind of priestess among the Utaru, at least after she does whatever she's going to do to help us.
And we're into the actual West! LIZARDS! I NEED LIZARD BITS!
But first I need a campfire that's not at the base-- Oh. Hi, Tenakth lady. I don't really think you're violent savages but I do have to be careful about that lady's rebel bullshit. Thanks for the heads-up about the bases; I'll see what I can do because I really like taking those out.
Got anything interesting, Peddler-Dude? ...Not really. Lemme sell you some vendor trash and be on my way.
Ooh, drone! Lemme just clear those Shellsnappers out of the way--
Um. What's that?
Does ... does that say Apex?!?
Ofuckofuckofuckofuckofuck.
WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO--? Oh. SHIT.
Hide and seek tiiiiiiiiiiime!
Aaaaaaand FINALLY. Okay. Area clear. Now lemme get up to where that drone leap point is-- Oh, hey, green shiny!
Attempt 1 - missed. Fuck. Well, I guess I needed to use up some of the medicinal berries in my stash anyway.
Attempt 2 - missed. Gonna have to dash it.
Attempt 3 - SUCCESS! Whole new drone point for Planetarium! WOO!
Okay, now lemme just get that last campfire-- LIZARDS!
No ... no ... no ... I need skin, damnit. GIVE ME YOUR SKIIIIN.
Fuck it. Campfire. Break needed. Then I'll spend a couple of hours hunting lizards, probably.
Really kinda glad I had no plans on going out today. As the meme goes, "It fucken WIMDY". I'm a little paranoid about my outside plants, but they seem to be okay so far. But it's definitely time for a screen break. More coffee, probably. Fruit, because I require feeding. Then ... yeah, probably hunting lizards for hours. Because I am insanely patient about some things. And I very much want lizard skin.
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Thess vs the Chorus
Well. I mean. Eventually. After I was done with the Open World Faffabout.
Hrm. Must have already got that piece of green shiny. I probably ought to actually make a login for that interactive map so I can tick off where I've been. I just dislike more people having my information than already do.
Right. Ancient ruins. Let's see. What do we have here?
So we have to release a ladder ... but it doesn't go all the way down so we have to climb too. Thaaaaaaaanks for that.
So there's a key module ... but it's up there. How do we get up there? Let's patrol the building.
No handholds ... but a ... train car? Of some kind? And that blue says "pullcaster". Okay, lemme see.
It doesn't ram right through the wall. Damn. Oh well, gives me a spot to climb up anyway.
Huh. I can get onto this awning and I can get the green shiny ... but I cannot get to the roof or anything. Investigating.
...Rail switch. Riiiiiiiiiiight. Going to yank the train car some more.
And switch to straight track aaaaaaaaaaaand ... off we go.
Wait. That said "grab cart". So ... I could have just ... walked it over? And not used the pullcaster the whole time? SONUVA--
Anyway, now I have the key module. Aaaaaaand I need a code. Hunting for data points.
And there's one. And it says ... the year the place was built. Right. Time to go outside and hunt. Of course I had to do this around in-game sunset.
(Also the Ancient Ones who left those data points had plants so I automatically like them.)
Ah! Okay. Heh; over a hundred years old here in the real. That's old for American buildings.
(YES I have to say that; I live in the UK. The saying goes, "for a Brit, 100 miles is a long way; for an American, 100 years is a long time". London still has remnants of structures built in 200 AD.)
And ... I'm basically back where I started from. Except with access to that zipline. Theoretically.
Oh. Right. Sprint for the zipline. And now I'm in a room wiiiiiiiiiith ... FIREGLEAM.
And there's tracks. And a cart outside. And handholds too high for me to reach. I see logistics puzzle builders had some hand in this.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand BOOM. Now, back to the cart, which I will actually drag by hand this time.
Aaaaaaaaand UP we go. And this one gives off ... little moons. Ancient Ones were weird.
So that's done. I think I'll at least get that Grazer site and then check out that question mark.
I could shoot those things for cover spores. Or I could just sit here and pick everything off from a mile a-whoa those are Clawstriders AIMING FOR THE TAIL NOW.
And the Grazers have moved. Yes, Aloy, I could override the Grazer and if you're so insistent--
DAMNIT my automatic response is the mouse. So I did Silent Strike instead of pressing E and this other one wants my face. BYE!
Okay. Question mark. That's ... okay, the map tells me I am currently in a cave. I am not in a cave but there must be one nearby.
Hrm. Sunken cavern. Not without a rebreather. It can wait.
Oh, hey, hunting grounds! I should at least see what they have available.
Hi, Tenakth lady. Yes, I will check out your hunting grounds. Just-- Oop, sorry to cut this short, but some Utaru are getting eaten by Clawstriders and Tenakth rebels so I'mma go deal with that now.
So that's dealt with; what kinds of challenges do you have for me--? Oh.
Is ... is it weird that I'm actually kind of into the fact that this whole thing is stealth mission? I swear, it's only this game I'm into it, but here at least? I am into it.
Damn. Couldn't get three stripes in the Silent Strike one. Only because the damn Burrowers weren't cooperating. I much prefer waiting, not hopping around the high ground like a lunatic. But I did get three stripes on the "raid all caches without anything seeing you" one, so hey!
Wait ... are those Clawstriders and rebel Tenakth after the same damn Utaru group?!? Oh for fuck's sake - here we go again.
Okay. NOW Plainsong. And yeah, I'm getting a Commander Shepard feel right now because a Council is being, collectively, a bunch of assholes. I will go check stuff and stock up before I face the assholes because it feels like there's going to be a Big Thing once the Cutscene Jamboree is over.
I FIGURED OUT HOW THE DYEING WORKS! And this means I can also get armour just for its looks, dye it to my specifications, and swap that look for armour that has the stats I want! (Okay, sometimes the cosmetics are my jam; sue me. I didn't crawl all over the walls like Spider-Man in rehearsal for dye plants just to let them sit unused.)
Okay, now time for Asshole Chorus.
Fane, I VERY MUCH DISLIKE YOU. Hang on, who voices you? Aaron Phillips - Wrathion in WoW, a bunch of anime dubs, and a hidden object game that's going on the wishlist. Huh. Okay.
So what's going to happen to make this a moot point? Because these guys aren't giving in and I as Aloy want to shake these people and flag up that shit like this? Is how the Ancient Ones brought themselves to their own deaths!
Alarms. Lemme guess; shit's going down at their stupid sacred cave-- yup.
"The time for permission is over." ...Varl? Dude? You wanna marry Zo? You have my blessing; I love this woman.
"The Utaru can defend themselves; we have to--" Lady, the Utaru can't defend themselves worth shit and I can shoot on the fly. Tell you what; I won't even loot.
Okay, I'mma loot the apex scavenger that I did not have time to scan (I'm sure there'll be more around later) and the Clawstriders but that's it.
...Okay, maybe I'll just pry this cache open-- SPIFFY armour! In fact, the Uncommon version of the stuff I bought in Plainsong because it suits my style so well! Can't wait to upgrade this!
But I will wait to upgrade this, I promise, because Sacred Cave, I know, I know, I get it already. But your world is going to have to go on pause for a moment because I haven't eaten all that much today and I still hurt and I need a break.
But before I go and ponder food and rest etc? A thing I noticed when I was doing that stupid jumping puzzle for Widemaws in Riverhymn. The only one among them who could work metal - and thus build the good weapons and stuff - was named Kue. Pronounced Q. As in, "What Fictional MI5 and James Bond calls the Quartermaster" Q. (Not "The bane of Jean-Luc Picard's existence" Q.) The writers will have their little jokes and I love it.
Now I should do something that involves food. I hvae gluten-free chicken dippers and I'm going to make Japanese curry, so I'll have Lazy Person's Chicken Katsu Curry. It's a late lunch, but it be like that sometimes.
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