Modern AU Headcanon

(This basically turned into a soap opera)

Faramir is low contact with Denethor. Denethor isn't outright abusive (not like in the films) but they have a strained relationship. In some ways they're very similar, and in others ways very different. They both have very firm senses of right and wrong, and struggle to meet in the middle. In particular, Denethor believes very much in filial obedience, but feels like Faramir is judging him, which Faramir probably is at least some of the time, and this creates antipathy between the two.

It wasn't too bad during Faramir's childhood (except that Denethor's work and mental health meant he wasn't always present, but Imrahil and his family made sure Faramir and Boromir had a supportive family unit), but when Boromir died their mutual grief and the lack of Boromir as a buffer meant that things got very bad with them.

Before they could still be prickly and disagree over stuff, but they could also spend pleasant time together, discuss mutual academic interests, etc... But after losing Boromir the strain between them grows worse, and in the end they have to step away from each other.

So they're still in each other's lives, but their communication is limited, and has a degree of formality. Even after the worst of the antipathy has passed, there's a mutual discomfort between the two, to avoid arguments they maintain a certain coolness, which they're both a bit sad about.

Eowyn is no contact with her family, and it happened quite drastically from their perspective, but for Eowyn it was building up for a while.

Eowyn pretty much ran away from home.

Theoden had an ongoing condition that lasted several years, which left him with limited mobility and on a fair bit of medication, meaning he required near constant care. And through a mix of being the youngest and a girl, the weight of his care fell onto Eowyn's shoulders.

Their family horse farm, Edoras, is in quite an isolated area, which is also fairly conservative in terms of gender roles and has a stigma around mental health and disabilities.

Theodred and Eomer did everything they could to keep their farm (horse breeding/training?) going, and the work certainly had a toll on them, Eomer perhaps giving up on his career in the army. However the work was work they both genuinely cared about, and found fulfilment in. They also had clocking off time, to go down to the pub and hang out with friends, and their work did give them the chance to travel and meet with other people.

Eowyn was stuck in the house, tending to Theoden 24/7. She had no clock off time, except for when one of the boys offered to watch Theoden so she could have a couple of hours to go for a ride or go to the cinema. Because this wasn't "their job", they saw this as them being very generous to Eowyn, and naturally during that time laundry wasn't done and dinner wasn't prepped or anything like that.

Eowyn's academics struggled because of this, and because her family's work was either the farm or the military, academics wasn't particularly prized and it was just accepted that Eowyn had no future in it. Eowyn might not have considered herself the academic type, but the lack of degrees severely limited opportunities for work and experiences elsewhere, no university, less chance of a career. Her life would be wedded to the farm, but as doing the housework and support stuff so Eomer and Theodred could focus on the farm and the horses. She also only got housekeeping money and the odd the bit of pocket money, but as the profits from the farm are handled by Theodred and Eomer, she had to depend on them for cash. She didn't get a regular wage or anything like that, nor was she getting a profit from the farm.

During this time, she was also groomed by Grima, a family friend of Theoden who helped with money and the farm and visited regularly to keep Theoden company, something Theoden depended on as he was isolated. Grima started off trying to offer Eowyn a shoulder to cry on, commiserating with her on her lack of opportunities, trying to drive a wedge between her and her brother and cousin, offering her presents and trying to make her feel dependant on him. Eowyn disliked Grima so she always held him at arm's length, but she didn't speak up about his creepiness because she thought her uncle needed his company.

Eomer eventually saw Grima crossing a line with Eowyn, touching her hair perhaps, and he didn't care for him either but stuck up with him for Theoden's sake, but after seeing that he made it clear he was to stay away.

Theoden did eventually recover, but Eowyn's position in the family remained unchanged. Theoden was anxious to be in his old position as one of the guys, so he threw himself back into the farm work, and all the domestic work stayed on Eowyn's shoulders. It was also left to Eowyn to ensure Theoden continued with his treatment, taking his medication, going to appointments, which Theoden, in his discomfort at being seen as sick or frail, spun as Eowyn being a typical fusspot, and treated his accepting treatment as him humouring her. He joined the guys down at the pub, while Eowyn was left alone at the house.

Eowyn finally called it quits after hearing Theoden having a heart to heart with Eomer about how he loved him as much as a son, thanking him for all the work he did keeping the farm going while he was sick, and declaring him and Theodred his legacy, assuring him he trusted them with looking after the farm after he was gone.

By this point Eowyn did have access to some of the family cash, mostly so she could do the shopping and see to other domestic costs, and she took out a decent portion, what she saw as her due for years of being an unpaid housekeeper/carer, and then got a train to Minas Tirith, (the big fancy city filled with opportunities).

There she meets Merry, an PHD candidate/lecturer on herblore, who lives above a pub with his boyfriend Pippin. Pippin owns the pub, but lives off his trust fund. Their roommate, Frodo, recently moved in with his boyfriend Sam, and Sam's girlfriend Rosie, and Eowyn meets them while looking for a cheap place to live. She ends up working the pub, getting double pay as bartender/bouncer, because she knows a lot about self defence.

Eowyn struggles a bit adapting to her new freedom and independence, and apart from work mostly hides in her room, overwhelmed by the culture change. Merry and Pippin (especially Merry) encourage her to be more social and take advantage of all the opportunities the city has to offer.

Of course the Fellowship, Sam, Frodo, Pippin, Merry, Aragorn, Gandalf and Gimli are still just as much of a gang as in the books, as was Boromir before he died, and Pippin's pub is their regular meeting place. The Fellowship "adopted" Faramir after Boromir died, and through them Eowyn and Faramir meet.

Faramir is going through a career change, deciding to do a PHD in History, which he wanted to do all along, but he gave up in favour of working for the family business. Eowyn is looking for a purpose after leaving home, and she and Faramir get chatting about university courses (the universities in Minas Tirith don't charge fees). Eowyn wants to retake her school exams (GCSEs equivalent) and Faramir offers to tutor her.

After passing her school exams, Eowyn is still by nature very outdoorsy, and wants to do a degree that gets her outside as much as possible. She ends up pursuing a career in conservation, actually following in Aragorn and Arwen's footsteps, who do conservation work and start Eowyn up with trying a bit of volunteering, then helping her to get onto an apprenticeship scheme.

Back at the farm, Eowyn's family is blind sighted by her disappearance, especially Eomer who is panic stricken in case something happened to her. (He actually tracks down Grima and threatens him in case Grima did anything to her.) Because Eowyn never said anything they had no idea she was so unhappy, although as the housework starts piling up they do start to get an idea of just how much work Eowyn did, and how little free time she had.

Eomer becomes obsessed with finding Eowyn, not entirely convinced she wasn't kidnapped, and manages to track her down to Minas Tirith. Eomer knows Aragorn through his army days and through Boromir, but because Eowyn switched her last name after moving to the city and is cagey about her past, Aragorn doesn't know she is Eomer's sister, and when Eomer comes to the city and looks him up, Aragorn offers to help him find her. He brings Eomer to the pub, where Eowyn sees him and panics, and gets Faramir to help smuggle her out.

She and Faramir open up about their past together. Faramir doesn't push Eowyn to respond to Eomer's arrival in a certain way (even though his grief over losing his own brother makes it tempting for him to do so), but his understanding of the situation encourages her to give it a go.

Eowyn and Eomer's reunion is difficult. With a lot of anger and blame on both sides.

Eomer is angry at Eowyn for making him and the family worry so much, and for leaving without a word. Eowyn is filled with residual fury for how she was treated over the years. Eomer accuses Eowyn of not being loyal to the family, which infuriates Eowyn as she gave up her identity for the family.

Eowyn asking Eomer when they first noticed she was gone, when breakfast wasn't made or when they saw that last night's washing up hadn't been done, and that hits a little close to home.

When Eowyn does open up about she felt all those years, and how it felt hearing Theoden call Eomer and Theodred his legacy, all the while treating her like a crutch it embarrassed him to use, Eomer initially responds with explanations and excuses and an insistence that they "all had to do their bit" and that "Theoden didn't mean it like that" or Eowyn was "taking it the wrong way". He also thinks Grima the root of most of Eowyn's problems, and while Grima made things a lot worse, Eowyn is frustrated that Eomer can't see she was unhappy without him.

Eomer eventually asks Eowyn why she didn't just say anything. Eowyn struggles to explain, and Eomer struggles to understand, the pressure Eowyn felt to do as was asked of her, how Eowyn never felt like she had a choice and how she was just expected to do the "women's work", and how that choice was made for her, especially in light of her youth and her dependence on the family, the suffering of her schoolwork which was dismissed as her being "not book smart" and only good for working on the family farm, and any attempts of hers to speak up being waved away as young adult's grumbling and moaning, making her feel guilty for not being happy with her lot.

All of this is a massive blow, as he and Eowyn were very close as children, and he always saw the two of them as a team, and always expected that Eowyn would just come to him if she had a problem.

There's a lot of shouting, a lot of tears. This all takes place in the flat, and the Fellowship (Faramir included, honourary member) are downstairs, trying to eavesdrop on it all. Some (Aragorn, Faramir, Arwen, Frodo and Sam) are trying to act like that they're just there in case Eowyn or Eomer need them afterwards, and insist they're not listening in. Merry, Pippin, Gimli, Legolas and Rosie are shameless about trying to here everything that's being said, and at one point for a human pyramid on the bar table so that Pippin can be lifted up high enough to put his ear against the ceiling.

Eomer is devastated after the meeting, and is left reeling that his sister, who he thought himself very close to and always on the same side as him, had been unhappy for years, and nurtured resentment towards him and the family he adored, and the farm he made his life's work. Aragorn and Arwen take him home to cool down, and let him stay with them while he and Eowyn try to figure things out.

Eowyn does eventually begin to reconcile with her family, but stays in Minas Tirith, while Eomer goes back to their farm.

Eomer and Theodred occasionally come up to meet her, but Theoden isn't up to travelling. Eowyn's relationship with Theoden is very slow to heal in particular, due to Theoden's own lingering demons regarding his years being dependant on Eowyn, and Eowyn struggling to disconnect her (understandable but unfair) resentment of Theoden being sick and needing to be taken care of, and her (very fair) resentment of how he treated her following his recovery.

Faramir and Denethor's relationship still has underlying strain, but Eowyn and Faramir's growing closeness improves it a bit, as she and Denethor actually manage to establish a bit of a rapport, both being spiky tongued, (Eowyn all the while having Faramir's back), and Eowyn also acts as a buffer between them, as Boromir did. Denethor and Faramir's relationship has to be managed carefully, but they see more time with each other, and the time they share is spent more comfortably. Denethor is very happy (in his way) when Eowyn and Faramir become official.

Eowyn doesn't go back to Edoras for several years. When she does go, Faramir goes with her. Partially as emotional support, but also to introduce him to Theoden as her fiance.

god i really do not get davejade at ALL like clearly jade is attracted to dave on some level bc she dated davesprite but i did not read any of her interactions w davedave as romantic.

i also see her relationship w davesprite as a kid relationship where they like each other on some level but can’t distinguish between romantic and platonic affectuon bc they don’t have enough experience. i also fee that davesprite broke up w her bc he realized this and he communicated ineffectively bc he was an emotionally avoidant kid.

also davedave doesnt seem to express any attraction to her… obviously he expresses love for her but that was extremely best friend energy to me

idk it just annoys me when characters are friends and they have actually well written platonic chemistry with each other and well written romantic chemistry with other characters AUGH

its not like i think theres anything morally wrong w shipping them i just hrrghgh i feel like its a case of a guy and a girl being friends and it being read as romantic by default -_-

he just so clearly has feelings for karkat and i dont see him having feelings for jade, i get bothered in the same way by karpeta. karkat shows no attraction to nepeta its a one sided crush i just dont get shipping characters when theres no evidence of mutual attraction :///

THEY ARE MORAILS ♦️♦️♦️♦️ i love their friendship its so cute

no hate to davejade shippers pls don’t try to argue w me on this you won’t change my mind.

agree to disagree etc etc you can ship whatever you want i just don’t get it and like complaining >_< none of my friends like homestuck so i must shout and hope my 11 followers dont find it too annoying

An Essay on Soni Monet

This is a thing that I'm putting out because I got an ask where someone asked about a seriously heavy spoiler on TEBF and I didn't know what to do in order to hide it in order to prevent people from getting spoiled, so yeah, this was what I could come up.

I'm not going to put what the original ask asked about (screenshotting it and pasting it under the cut) because I'm doing my best to avoid those sorts of things on my Tumblr for the sake of everyone else. I could just delete it, but this serves as a memo for those who send in spoilers in my Ask Box: Don't.

In short, gotta draw the line for spoilers and everything. It's under my rules. :D

However, this became an essay on Soni because I ramble about her so much on my own that it's scary alksdfljklj So enjoy, my deep analysis on Soni Monet ig

The short answer as to what you asked Anon is that Soni will never tell the TWST boys anything specific about what Lysandre did. Never.

It doesn't matter what the situation is or who is asking.

She will never tell anyone.

Even if Soni is starting to open up to people in TWST, her personal life is that: personal. She will set up boundaries to preserve that peace and ensures to get that, even if it makes her sound callous.

It's actually one of the defining features that Soni possesses that I love about her because most of the time, Yuu in the game gets pushed around into situations.

That's not the case with Soni.

We need to keep this in mind that Soni is not an openhearted person.

Soni's a Pokemon Champion who's had nosy paparazzi, annoying nobles who want to dig up dirt on her, and everything under the sun trying to find something to criticize about her for years. We're not even counting the years of comments made by teachers and other children towards her at a young age for her behavior because the point's been made many times over. That's not even covering the fact that it's considered government information, given how deeply involved she was in the whole situation as well as her father's occupation in the whole thing.

She, being the practical person that she is, wouldn't tell them anything because of that.

You might say that she should tell them because of friendship and shit, but should she really tell them?

Soni knows the lines of where things need to be drawn, and it is very clearly drawn to things that are personal to her as with any other person. Things like her family are one of those things, and in the semi-realistic fashion that I'm writing this story, Soni is not going to be openly chatty about that topic because of the power of friendship.

Because if you think along the lines of Twisted Wonderland, particularly the Overblot boys, they didn't suddenly change their personalities just because you beat the crap out of them and become nice. They still retain their personality, but with the new knowledge in their mind of what they can and cannot do after the fact. Why should she?

Going back to Soni, the most she could ever reveal about it is the crime syndicate, the outcome of their plans (in the team being disbanded and the leader being captured), the leader himself (he's a big businessman with a lot of money), and that's basically it.

Some things aren't meant to be shared, even among friends.

Soni, even with others being as open as they are towards her, is not one of those types of people. She is careful, painfully so that she will make stacks of plans to ensure that everything will remain standing in the wake of a disaster.

It takes so much to gain her trust because she's lost it in everything else, and even that trust in itself is painfully scarce among people.

And that is why she will never tell the TWST boys about what happened to her.

The math just adds up!

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌖

(happy eclipse day yesterday🎆🎆🎆)

Dunmeshi request, Chilchuck and Marcille interacting? 🥺 Or standing next to each other that works too. Could be hugging, or sharing a meal/food, or…

Got a bit out of hand with the prompt XD I ended up doing a scene inspired by this fic! Based on that time Marcille Izutsumi and Chilchuck were sharing a bed in chapter 47. It felt very memorable so I tried to recreate it but I kind of went offscript because I was basing it on my recollection of the fic lmao

^Obsessed with this guy and how he lets Izutsumi use him like a hot water bottle bc it's comfier.

I think he'd hardly ever act this soft + tolerant of physical affection unless it's situations like this: When the others are too sleepy to remember it LOL

It's shenanigans time guys

So have this DpxDc idea.

So, the Justice League and the Light (OR villains in general) have two newish members, they've both been around for about a year and they're from the same plane of existence (a place called the Infinite Realms according to those who dabble in the occult)

And the two seem to have some serious beef with each other.

Wisp and Wrath are basicly feral cats hissing and hekles raised when they spot the other and their fights normally ends in draws. They're evenly matched and sometimes the two even fight to the point they are out of steam and just fist fight.

Needless to say everyone believes they totally hate each other and might one day kill (or end?) One of them.

So everything gets turned upside down when suddenly both factions of heros and villains are suddenly summoned to the Infinite Realms.

In a throne room.

In front of the Infinite King (or most commonly known as the Ghost King)

A King who looks very, very much like Wisp and Wrath (like yeah the two do sometimes look alike, like when they grin with sharp teeth and their hair color, but one has blue skin and red eyes for crying out loud!)

He's staring at them, glowing green eyes that seemed to just... know.

"Welcome to the Infinite Realms. I am King Phantom." His voice echoing in the throne room and seemed to rattle them deeply, like a sudden chill in the early morning.

"I have summoned you all here for a single reason." He continued to say "Tell me..."

Here he paused, closed his eyes before leaning back on the chair then he smiled big and cheerfully asked.

"How are my kids doing in your world? Dan and Ellie arent causing too much chaos in their wake are they? They tend to go a tiny bit overboard sometimes but what siblings don't when they rough house you know. Tell me everything."

here's something you guys probably forgot about.... the pomni backflip art i promised for 10k notes on the post that now has 16k notes... whoops i may have let her land the backflip but at the end of the day she is a failgirl :)

im gonna be honest i think the "adrien being a sentimonster was randomly thrown in season 4 with no planning on the writers' part" theory is really funny. like the writers of this show are just so bad at their job and so stupid that they tripped and fell in season 1 episode mr pigeon and accidentally spilled "a strange relationship to feathers" all over adrien by accident. they stubbed their toe on the coffee table and accidentally set up a mystery surrounding emilie's relationship to a feathery miraculous in season 1 volpina before we even knew what its powers were. then they spilled coffee all over their favorite shirts and at the same time spilled more white feathers around adrien in season 2 episode gorizilla. while writing the same episode someone had a really nasty sneeze and got boogers all over the script that said "use the imagery of two twin rings intertwined as the opener for the film of adrien's dead mother". they forgot to look both ways before crossing the street while writing the season 2 finale and were struck by a truck labeled "the peacock miraculous gives life" and then by a second truck with the license plate "it does so using white feathers identical to the white feathers that surround adrien in his ads" at the same time. they plummeted down an open manhole and hit the ground with a loud whack that sounded like "sentimonsters like bugette are just as real as any human..... and isn't bugette so...... perfect?" in season 3. on their way to the hospital they slipped on ice that had frozen in such a way to perfectly resemble the sentence "the word 'perfect' is consistently used throughout the series and by the creator ominously to denote how characters like adrien and kagami are 'different from everyone else', ever since season 1 episode simon says". during season 3 someone on the team got food poisoning and when they threw up felix came out instead and started another whacky series of comedic errors. the answer to the mystery of "how and why did emilie die? what life did adrien's loving mother create that she was willing to die for?" was originally gonna be "idk maybe she just exploded or somehting" probably, but then there was a really painful rock in one of the writers' shoes while walking to work that put them in a mood so bad that they forgot their original plan and instead made some bullshit up that somehow ended up being something that made sense with what we knew and put all the puzzle pieces together and actually made the show even more interesting and impactful on a rewatch because it put a lot of shots that at the time seemed random into a new and logical perspective as clear foreshadowing. it's actually impressive how stupid these silly clown writers are that they put strangely specific things so consistently throughout the entire series that resembled foreshadowing while never actually having intended it a single time! like........... really.......... really impressive............... i think..............

It's good and cool to give your characters a single simple, straightforward, non-urgent, super-achievable goal that shouldn't really cost anything or hurt anyone, make that the driving factor for most of their decisions, and then have the Plot do everything in its power to stop them.

Pretty much every country: Stopped tracking Covid infections, hospitalizations and deaths.

99% of doctors: Claim Long Covid doesn’t exist. Tell patients they’re lazy, not disabled. Refuse to admit illnesses and deaths are due to damage done by Covid.

The 99% of the population who have their heads up their asses about Covid: If Covid is so dangerous why are hospitalizations down? Why aren’t people dying of it any more?

Hellooo I'm back sooner than expected! I had a drawing marathon bc I want to post part 7 in two weeks for cruel irony purposes (Merlin fans might have an idea)

First >> Prev >> Next

Ok we all talk about the Pevensies' trauma at returning to Earth at the end of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and their trouble readjusting to life there again but think of all the funny/good parts too

They return from the country, and their mom is surprised when all her children hug her at the station. Even Peter, who thinks he's all grown up. Even Edmund, who went away surly and withdrawn. She doesn't know her children haven't seen her in over a decade.

They miss their dear Cair Paravel, but they absolutely do not miss its chamber pots. Indoor plumbing is amazing.

It takes a while to remember how modern technology works, though. How many heart attacks did the siblings give their parents or the professor because they walked into a dark room only to turn on the light and find the children sitting there in the dark. (They were by the window! There was still plenty of light from the sunset! They would have gotten a candle in a minute!) The kids sheepishly remember oh yeah electricity is a thing.

(Edmund has a new electric torch in Prince Caspian. He was so excited to get that torch. Almost more excited than you'd think a kid his age would be, and his parents expect Peter at least to tease him, but the siblings all agree light in your hand at the touch of a switch is terrific.)

Suddenly getting really high grades in some subjects and terrible in others. Their grammar, reading comprehension, spelling, vocab, even penmanship? Amazing. History and geography? They don't remember anything. One time in class Susan forgets Earth is round and wants to die.

Also they can never remember what the date is supposed to be because Narnia uses different months and years. They can estimate time really well by looking at the sun though, and Edmund at least can always tell which way is north etc without thinking about it (again, using the sun)

Okay but how many times did they go to pick something up or reach something and realize they are so much shorter and less muscled than they expect? It's a common sight to see Peter climbing on counters to reach a top cabinet, grumbling about how he's High King this is demeaning. (No he never takes the extra five seconds to grab a stool. He will climb that shelf.)

Peter and Susan being delighted because they are no longer almost thirty. (In a few years Edmund and Lucy will tease them about being old and their parents will not understand.)

Lucy doesn't have to deal with periods anymore for a few years yet. Susan might not either. Heck yeah

Lucy loves to climb into her siblings' laps and be cuddled. In Narnia she eventually she grew too big, but now she is small and snuggleable again. Peter is her favorite, and if she's upset, he'll tickle her and tell bad jokes until she's smiling again, but really she loves cuddling with all her family. She grew up without her parents; how many times did she just want to crawl into her mom's lap and her mom was a world away? Imagine the first time she realizes she can now. Or, imagine one day, a cold and grey sort of day, when the rain is pattering against the windows, and it sounds like the rain on the windows of the Professor's house, that first day they went exploring. It sounds like the day they played hide and seek. It sounds so like the rain on the windows of Cair Paravel, that if Lucy closes her eyes she can imagine she's back there, having tea and chatting with Mr. Tumnus before the fireplace of her room, and soon the rain will stop, and they will go out on the balcony and wave to the naiads and the dryads and the mermaids, who have come out to enjoy the rain and visit one other on the banks of the Great River winding past Cair Paravel down to the sea.

But if Lucy looks out the window, all she'll see is the rain over London, so it's not only a cold and grey sort of day, it's a lonely sort of day too.

Susan and Edmund are playing chess in the living room (and they must have studied with Professor Kirke, thinks their mother, because they certainly weren't that good when they left). Lucy goes over to Edmund, and oh dear, thinks their mother, now he's going to call her a baby and be horrible to her, but instead he picks her up and puts her on his lap without even taking his eyes off the chessboard; it's simply a matter of course.

"Doesn't the rain sound familiar?" says Lucy in a solemn, wistful way.

Their mother doesn't know what that means, but her siblings must, because Susan says, "Yes, Lu, it does,” and Edmund gives her a little hug with his free arm as she tucks herself under his chin to watch the chess match.

(Five minutes later there is a crash from the next room as Peter falls off a counter. Their mother does not understand the words he must have picked up from the Professor, but he's grounded for them anyway. His siblings have no respect for their High King, because they refuse to stop laughing.)

WAIT WAIT WAIT

YOU'RE TELLING ME

THE TITLE CARD FROM CINDERELLA (1950) EXPLICITLY SAYS IT'S BASED ON THE PERRAULT VERSION OF THE STORY???

WE COULD HAVE AVOIDED ALL THE SANCTIMONIOUS EDGELORDS SMARMING ABOUT HOW "well Disney toned it down; the One True Grimms' Original akschully has blood and no fairy and feet getting cut up, so there" IF THEY HAD JUST

BOTHERED TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE MOVIE AND THEN GOOGLE "PERRAULT CINDERELLA???"

excuse me I need to go scream into a pillow

(I'm not saying Ashenputtel isn't possibly older as a folktale than its 1812 publication date in the Grimms' book, but Perrault's version was published in the 1690s. so...)