#this current career is hurting more than its ever helped
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I'm going to have to block the ai tag in every way I can, as a creative who has always dreamed about being able to actually work selling my art I just find it all heartbreaking and I've had at least two panic attacks about the way ai is being sent after our art, our writing, our narration, our very appearances, and I just can't do it ok? I am already barely making it from day to day.
#im already very skittish about posting my artwork at all#same with my husband and his writing#and im so tired#im so so tired#all the time#my job really sucks and is getting worse#this current career is hurting more than its ever helped#ive been actively severely underpaid at every job ive ever had#and this was my fallback ok?#so i could dream of eventually partially retiring#and thats just falling apart#even being good isnt enough to save you#because the good stuff is what they feed the ai#and then youre stuff is too much like the ai so noone thinks its yours#im gonna just block the tags and try not to cry ok?#ai art#fuck the damned thieves#i just want to draw#im already a severely depressed artist#hellscape#vent#personal#panic#sorry
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Promise i don't forget all of my fault in this
Summary : After Jude broke your heart, he can't help but regret how he did it. Loosing his best friend of 10 years is not something he knows how to cope with
a/n : here is part 2 to this fic, probably not what you were expecting but i like it this way better!
english is still not my first language so if any sentence doesn't make sense or if typos are hiding in there, i apologize!! (+ this is even barely proofread sorry)
title is a lyrics from Best by Gracie Abrams
To the eye of anyone else, his life looked like a dream.
With his career predicted to continue its raising towards a legendary peak, a beautiful girl he genuinely was in love with at his side and a promise of everything going his way in life, it seemed like the equation was solved.
The thing is, it was solved, he found x, he had x but he also threw x away, thinking it wasn't necessary to his well-being.
The problem is, x was his ex-lover, ex-best friend, ex-childhood friend. When he made the decision to leave her behind, he thought he did the right thing.
Breaking her heart was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but he knew she wouldn't have survived seeing him with a new girl while still being in his life. He knew if given the option, she would've stayed at his side, as a best friend, a friend, an acquaintance. So in his mind, breaking her heart, leaving her with a lost soulmate was the best decision, for her.
He had not anticipated how much it would hurt him as well.
He spent the first week feeling unbelievably lighter. Lying to her, going out with his girl behind her back and cheating were not things he had enjoyed doing. He knew he had no right to be sad or even to complain about anything, being the one doing the cheating and not being cheated on.
He was certain if younger Jude could, he would find a way to travel in time and hunt current Jude down until the end of his days. She used to be so much more than an ex-lover.
Ever since primary school, she had been the only constant thing in his life. He had other friendships that he grew out of, he had girlfriends that wouldn't last enough time for him to even get attached, and he now had fans that would forget about him in a few months. But she was always there, and that's what made him think she was the perfect match for him.
He already loved her and they got along better than any other friends, he knew her inside out and still admired her, he already went through hell and back by her side. It made sense that what he was feeling was romantic love. And perhaps it was at first, or maybe it never was, he could not pinpoint the moment he realized he made a mistake and confused platonic feelings for romantic ones.
It's the fact that she realized so much faster than him that scared him, and that made the process happen so much faster. She managed to watch the light fade from his eyes before he could put a name on what was happening in his head when he looked at her. She noticed the nature of the blank stares he would be stuck in and deep down, she knew.
Tonight marks the third week since he broke her heart, and his guilt laced with longing is eating him alive. Because today was the 22nd of the month, day on which, every month without a miss, they would meet up one way or another to watch movies and gossip and catch up on lost time due to their busy schedules.
It had become a tradition since they were kids, Jude had to conceal football and school and ended up being able to spend less time with her. A June 22nd, she had voiced her worries of him forgetting her in the whole process, so he promised at least every month, she would get a night of his full undivided attention.
It was never just movies, some 22nd's were spent on her house's roof, stargazing while sharing terrifying thoughts about growing up, about feelings taking a meaning, others were spent driving around your hometown, signing along to their shared playlist.
But it always was on the 22nd. Twelve 22nd's a year, twelve nights to ensure their hearts were still each others.
Tonight's 22nd was the first one in eight years they weren't in each other's presence or on a videocall. On this 22nd, Jude decided he had to face his feelings. He was done hiding them and pretending this didn't affect him, he lost someone who was dear to him no matter who was to blame.
Coming home from practice, where his performance were mediocre at best, and ended in his coach voicing his worries about his mood and its affect on his stats lately, Jude was worn off.
Turning his keys in the door lock, his eyes fell down on the red phone cabin keychain he reluctantly kept after she forced him to. He had playfully refused to do so at first, claiming this was too much of a tourist thing to even just buy, let alone display on his keys. But she had argued that this would be a fond way to remember every place they had traveled to.
Not realizing he had been staring at the keys lost in thoughts for a few minutes, not making any moves to enter, a soft voice got him out of this haze.
"Jude, is that you?" He heard his girlfriend ask from the other side of the door, voice uncertain and fear audible
"Yes, yes it's me darling. Sorry about that I kinda zoned out", Jude rushed to explain while opening the door, noting how scary hearing the quiet sound of keys fumbling into the lock would've been from her point of view.
He stepped into his house, immediately face to face with his lover, whom he engulfed into a bone crushing hug almost as quickly.
"Today's the 22nd" he mumbled into her hoodie "It sucked, 'm feeling like shit and I did bad at practice"
One thing he made sure to do with any partner of his, was to make sure they both felt safe enough to share any thought, not wanting to hold the weight of any information by themselves. Therefore, he had told her everything about his feeling about his ex best friend, how much he missed her and everything about their moments ; including the 22nd tradition.
"Yeah, i figured you would- not do bad at practice, feel like shit i meant" she answered while playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, simultaneously rubbing comforting circles into his back.
"I just- it's so frustrating. I'm the one who broke things off, I got the fucking good side of things and here I am whining about it.", squeezing her body harder, Jude tried another way to convey the emotions that invaded every cell of his body, feeling like words aren't enough. Before he could continue, she interrupted his rant.
"Jude, hun, we talked about this. You did break things off but it was needed, even she could tell things weren't the same anymore. But she was your best friend, shit like that hurts even if it was the best option at the time", this conversation was held almost every day, he was convinced his feelings were not justified because of the way he handled the situation.
"Yeah, I know, my feelings are valid and all this bullshit, doesn't mean it doesn't feel unfair" he moved from the embrace to take his shoes off, focusing on the task to avoid his lover's eyes "I mean, I miss her so much and it's so selfish considering she's probably in her head overthinking the authenticity of every moment we ever spent together, I'm literally a piece of shit". His shoe laces weren't cooperating, seemingly in sync with his conflicting emotions. With a groan, he gave up, throwing himself on the floor with his back on the door, his head resting on it, looking up the ceiling.
She gently crouched down next to him, rubbing his thigh in hopes to calm him down with the soothing movement. "I won't lie and say she's thriving right now, because let's face the truth, it definitely destroyed her-", at this statement, Jude banged his head on the door, "-but. But it was a shitty situation that needed to be dealt with in a shitty way. You missing her is not you being selfish, get that out of your pretty head."
Now on her knees beside him, she brought her other hand on his cheek, nudging him to make eye contact with her. Her gaze was full of empathy for his internal struggle, understanding his part, but also seeing hers. "Did you-" she stopped for a second when he finally looked back at her, eyes glossy, "Did you think about reaching out to talk to her? I'm aware you don't want to do it because you're scared she'd come back and end up hurting more. But. If not for you, do it for her? You haven't seen her since you broke things off, and she didn't even get the chance to talk, she probably is dying to find closure in a way"
"You're probably right, she deserves it. I'm just not even sure she'd want to meet up though. I wouldn't want to see someone who is as much of a dickhead as I am. Good motives or not, I did this badly." Jude did not lack self awareness concerning this situation. It's because he knows her so well that he knew the words he used would wound her deeply, although unintentionally.
Voice barely above a whisper, he shamefully admits, "Sometimes, I don't even want her to get closure. God that sounds so bad but. I don't want her to forget about me, about us. 10 years of friendship is a fucking long time, I don't want her to wipe this off her memory because I was an asshole"
Not even bothering to correct him, and uselessly try to convince him he isn't an asshole, she instead continued, "Please, talk to her, she probably doesn't want 10 years worth of memory to be tainted by this ugly night. And it's been due, for both of your sake." She felt helpless in front of her boyfriend's misery, and would do anything to help it be less intense and all consuming. "Don't let her spend her first 22nd in eight years all alone, thinking you hate her", slowly detangling his shoe lace and tying it back the right way, she moved to kiss his forehead. "Be patient and let her time to voice her thoughts, yeah?"
He stood up, and took his time to take the woman in front of him in, he felt incredibly lucky this exact second. Any other woman would be fuming with jealousy at the thought of their man going to see their ex-girlfriend that they've known for half their life. He hated to think that getting her had to come with losing his best friend. "Okay, yeah, okay i'm going then. I appreciate you so much for this, thank you for understanding."
a/n : you guys : "part 2 w reader living her best life n Jude wanting her back!!"
me : "how about no?" i actually wrote about 6 different start to this but it always felt off, knowing how brutally Jude left reader?
#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham#jude bellingham angst#footballer blurb#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham x you
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Four Letter Words (t.z)
an: i know it switches pov and probably persons for a section there. i did a little ~~ so you can tell. it’s rough. sorry
Warnings: bad words. more bad words. alcohol. copious amounts of it.
Enjoy!
He took a sip of the harsh liquor, letting it burn the back of his throat. Despite the gross taste it felt good. Tonight was the one night that he was going to allow himself to dwell in the fact he felt like he was an utter failure at hockey. He was planning on drinking himself stupid in the presence of strangers and possibly do something crazy he would regret in the morning.
“What are you doing here all by yourself?” A warm and familiar voice sang out behind him. He knew whose voice it was, but Trevor couldn’t will himself to face her. “God you reek. Just how much have you had to drink?”
“Go away.” He downed the last of the current drink he held in his hand. Trevor quickly motioned the older man behind the bar counter to bring him a couple more of the beverages he had been served. He was already sloshed, what was a couple more drinks?
“I'm not going away until you answer me.” The beautiful lady attempted to take the drink away from him, only to slap her hand away. She sighed in defeat, there was no way to pry the drink from his hand.
“No of your business.” He mumbled taking another sip of his drink. He wasn't inebriated enough to share anything with the person to his right. He knew he could trust her, after all she was one of his roommates but he didn’t want to. “Now scurry off Y/N. Find someone else to bother.” He made a motion with his hand to shoo her away.
“I’m not going anywhere, Trev.” She sat down on the barstool next to him. She wasn’t going to leave him alone. Ever since that day Jamie introduced them and subsequently asked her to move in with them since they had space, Trevor felt a special connection to her. Something maybe more than just roomies. Then he got too comfortable, she became too much of a distraction for him and he started failing at the one thing his world actually revolved around. “Have you eaten anything tonight?”
“No. Not hungry.” He couldn’t look at her stupidly beautiful face. Fuck. Why did his career falling apart have to be her fault. It wasn’t fair.
“Well you should. Especially if you keep drinking. And maybe drink a glass of water, you’ll thank me in the morning.” He noticed that you had finished off another drink and was in the process of getting another.
“You’re not my mother. You can’t tell me what to do.” Trevor thrusted his almost overfilled drink at her, spilling over half of it on her. A smile made its way to his face, thinking himself funny.
Y/N never left his side the whole night. Despite his attempts to get her to go far away from him, Y/N wasn’t about to leave him alone with his own pities. Deep down somewhere Trevor was kind of thankful, but that wasn’t something he was going to remember anytime soon.
Around two o’clock in the morning it was announced that the place was closed and that he needed to leave. Trevor got up to leave stumbling unable to hold himself upright for more than thirty seconds, something that felt like an eternity for him.
“Trevor, lean on me.” That voice popped up again as an arm snaked its way around his torso, helping him to an upright position. This person was beckoning towards the front of the establishment and out the door.
The chill of the early morning hit him, making him fall into the road in front of him. He stayed there for a moment staring at the bright lights heading towards him. A strong hand wrapped around his arm pulling him out of the way just in time.
“Can you manage to not get hurt? Your millions of fans would never forgive me if I let you get hurt.” The arm was back holding him upright again, taking him somewhere into the dark unknown.
Trevor couldn’t remember who was with him. Pushing his head up he looked at the face of the person who was handling him. The hair was familiar. They’re Y/E/C eyes looked like something he could get lost in. And those lips looked like they held back a beautiful voice.
Fuckity Fuck.
Y/N.
Why her?
Y/N was with him. When did she get there. He doesn't remember. Had she been with him all evening? God that woman made him so angry sometimes.
~~~
“Where are you taking me?” He spat at you, trying to remove himself from your embrace.
“I’m taking you home. You need to sleep this off before your morning skate.” Your grip became slightly tighter around his arm as you felt him struggling to try and get away from you.
“No.” Trevor managed to unglue himself from his grasp after several attempts. “Leave me alone Y/N. I hate you.”
“No you don’t. I’m the only one here for you right now.” You could hear the hostility creeping into the hockey player’s voice, in all this time that you knew Trevor you had never heard this side of him.
“I hate you so much Y/N Y/L/N.” You stopped walking to listen to him. “I hate everything about you. You are so annoying. You never leave, you are always there! I don’t get why Jamie thinks you're so great. Plus ever since you got here my games been tanking, nothing goes in, I keep over passing, fighting and getting my ass handed to me.” Trevor was getting really passionate about letting you know how he really felt. “It’s all your fault! You never stop distracting me. God. I despise you. I loathe you. I HATE YOU.”
Your heart fell and you felt tears starting to prickle in the corners of your eyes. Were you really affecting him that badly? You didn’t like the fact that he thought it was your fault. Maybe you should consider finding a place of your own instead of rooming with them. In fact when you dropped him off at his home, maybe you leave then, pack a bag of essentials and take off for the night. You were already coming up with excuses to give Jamie as to why the housing situation wasn’t working out, because Trevor was making it very clear right now just how much he disliked you. Why did he even agree to you taking the spare room if he felt this way?
All those thoughts come to a defining halt when you feel yourself getting pushed and hitting the hard pavement. It wasn’t a hard fall, only sustaining slight injuries to your knees and the palms of your hands. Nothing you couldn’t brush off.
“Fucking bitch.” Trevor murmured to himself, just loud enough for you to hear, seeing you on all fours. He stepped around you, not caring at the moment. He just wanted to get away from the person he had strong four letter word feelings for.
“Come on Z. I need to get you home.” Getting back up, you rushed to catch up to Trevor, he was taller, faster, and very drunk so it took a hot minute. His words hurt, you knew he probably didn’t mean them and he most likely wouldn’t remember anything from that night. It was there that you figured out that you could never stop caring about your now former roommate no matter what he said to you.
“He’s yours now. I’m done.” You helped Jamie with Trevor once you managed to get him home and into his room. You explained to Jamie what had happened outside the bar, telling him what the sleeping intoxicated man said and showing him the scrapes and bruises you sustained from falling.
“I’m sorry J. You’re one of my best friends, but I can’t be here with him anymore.” Thank god, he understood why you needed to leave and respected your wishes.
~~~~
The next morning Trevor didn’t wake up to one of his various alarms that had been mysteriously set for him. Instead he woke up to a killer hangover and Jamie standing over him shooting him angrily with one of the various nerf guns stashed around the house, this one just happened to be filled with water.
“What the fuck man.” He managed to swat the device away once all the water had been drained from the device. The water may have stopped but the staredown wasn’t going away anytime soon.
“Y/N is gone. She told me what you said and called her. And in her own words said it was in everyone’s best interests if she found somewhere else to live.”
Trevor rarely saw this side of Jamie. It kind of scared him. But he swore up and down that he would never say those things to her. Sure he was feeling distracted as of late. But it wasn’t because of her. No. He could never really hate her, it was four completely different letters that were the real root of his distraction.
“I was drunk. I’m sorry, I don’t remember any of that.” He balled his hand into a fist, hitting himself hard enough in the leg to leave a bruise, a move he often made when he was mad at himself for something he did.
“You better fix this. I am not losing another friend because of you.” Trevor could feel the sharp pointy daggers Jamie was throwing his way. He vowed to do anything to get Y/N to come home so he could let her know how he really felt. Because love is a better four letter word than hate.
Please let me know what y’all think! Any thoughts, comments, or complaints!
#trevor zegras#trevor zegras x reader#trevor zegras imagine#nhl imagine#nhl fanfiction#nhl imagine#hockey fic#hockey imagine#trevor zegras fic#its bad#sorry
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Hero
Title: Hero
Pairing: Ada Wong x Reader
Word Count:
Covert operations were not Ash's strong suit. The woman attracted attention like nobody else that Ada had ever met. That was why Ada was so against calling Ash in to help. Ada was prepared to wait until the last possible second. She would have turned to Leon or anybody else first, but Ash was closer.
Ash arrived in her typical fashion, almost too late. Ada wanted to wring her neck out, but she couldn't. Touching Ash like that would lead to something that Ada wasn't prepared for. They had to keep their distance for the sake of Ada's mental health.
"That was fun." The silence had been driving Ash crazy, so she had to break it. Ada was always so content to sit in silence, but Ash could never. She needed noise or something to distract her. Ash felt like she couldn't be alone with her thoughts, especially around ADa.
"If you were a second later, we wouldn't be having this conversation," Ada hissed. Ash clenched her jaw as she sat forward. Ada could smell the subtle hints of Ash's body wash when the woman leaned in. Somehow, she could run through a battlefield and still come out smelling like that stupid soap she'd been using since her military days.
"It's a good thing I've got great timing then, isn't it?" Ash joked. Ada wanted to reach out and punch her, but she didn't. Ada had called, and Ash answere dthe call, even if she was currently being infuriating.
"You've got something, that's for sure," Ada muttered. Ash sighed as she stood up. "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere, we're stuck here until actual rescue comes. I'm just stretching my legs, putting some distance between us," Ash said. Ada felt a little bad about hurting Ash's feelings.
"Thank you for saving me." It took a lot for Ada to swallow her pride and thank Ash. Ash knew that it was no small thing. Ada could do a lot to rationalize all the reasons why Ash didn't deserve her gratitude. Ash could think of a few herself, but this was too good of a sign for Ash to let herself sink into a hole that deep.
"You're welcome. I meant it when I told you that I'd always answer."
"I know," Ada whispered. Ash leaned against the wall with her back turned towards Ada. She looked uncomfortable in her tactical gear, but Ada would have been lying if she said it didn't look good. Ash was a soldier, through and through. Despite working essentially for herself, Ash had kept the same gear style that she had working covert ops for the Pentagon. The only difference was that Ash's new gear was a little more form fitting and allowed for more agile movements.
Ash was only getting better. Ada knew that it was the field experience, but a part of her was afraid that Ash was working for the wrong people in her spare time. It hadn't been Umbrella, but Ash had a lot of bad people signing some of her checks. Ada remembered their last fight, the one that had finally driven Ash away from her after so many years of going back and forth. Ada regretted accusing Ash of accepting forms of payment other than money, but Ash had been acting so different. It never occured to Ada that the guilt was weighing her down.
"You look good," Ada said to break the silence. Ada could see Ash's leg bouncing as she stood there. Ash stopped moving and turned around on her heel to face Ada. "I don't know what I expected when I called you."
"We both know what you expected. I told you that I wasn't letting anybody inject me with supersoldier serum. Not anymore, not when I can help it," Ash said. Ada could see the far away look in Ash's eyes as the thousand yard stare started to settle in. Six years of Ash's military career were classified, and even if someone had clearance, 95% of it was still blacked out. Ada didn't have to be a genius to know what that meant. Especially with the grants from Umbrella and some of its fronts.
"Well, some super soldier you are," Ada joked. She got up and placed her hand on Ash's arm, right over where she knew a bullet hole was. Ash brushed Ada's arm away, but grabbed her hand as it fell.
"When we get out of here, I don't want us to just go our separate ways," Ash said. She stared down at Ada with a look of pure sincerity. Ash had always wanted more than what Ada could give, but this was an easy enough wish to be granted. "I want you to call me for more than just this sort of thing."
"I'd like that," Ada agreed.
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Do i hate Kevin? no, I don't think I do. However, I do think he puts Penelope in a lot of very uncomfortable situations so I definitely like Luke a lot more. I don't think that what Kevin expects of her is fair, and Luke expects nothing of her but everything of himself to keep her safe and happy.
Luke not only actively avoids putting Penelope in any uncomfortable position, but also does absolutely everything in his power to get her out of uncomfortable situations she inevitably finds herself in considering their line of work and her online presence. He does the little things like offering his hand to help her off the curb in 12x14 collision course, all the way to dropping everything to help her in 15x4, Saturday. He makes sure to not only solve the stalking case of the young woman in Penelope's hacking class but also let her know that he is there for her through everything and if she ever needs his help with her own cyber stalker or with anything at all, he will be there for her. That's the kind of support that she needs, and deserves. She needs to know she has someone to lean on, someone who offers to be her soft place to land because she isn't going to ask for it.
Kevin doesn't communicate very well with Penelope. I'm currently watching 4x23, Roadkill, and he has had these secret job interviews for a classified overseas position. He mentions to her that he didn't want to tell her "until it was real" and then proceeds to ask her to move with him, away from her family at the BAU, to be with him in some country god knows where with no ability to tell her loved ones where exactly she is. Does he not know who she is? Penelope needs stability. She needs her little creature comforts, like her good coffee and her sparkly desk. She also needs open communication, honest communication, and being lied to and then subsequently being asked to do something which requires her to lie is not only a wildly misguided but completely inappropriate request for anyone, let alone for Penelope.
One of the things that makes Penelope fall for Kevin even more than she already had in the beginning is his "man to man" talk with Rossi. I think its not only because she takes comfort in his fatherly role in her life and appreciates Kevin's formality, but also because what she values is direct communication about expectations and desires. The position Kevin puts her in during Roadkill is the exact opposite of why she trusted him to further their relationship in the beginning.
Maybe this is me reading into things and making a much bigger deal of this, but it clearly upsets her that Kevin thinks this was the right way to go about this. She is understanding of his desires for career growth, she wants him to pursue what makes him feel good, and she never would have told him to stay for her if he really wanted the position. The fact that he doesn't know that means he doesn't know her. All he knows is that it would hurt for them to say goodbye, which is true it would, and he thinks that he is sparing her some kind of heartache by lying or by asking her to apply. Again, this further proves that he doesn't know her at all.
On second thought, I do hate Kevin. The more I watch him with her, the more I realize he in no way has Penelope's best interest at heart. He pressures her, and rushes thing, and tries to make her life into something that works for him. Luke is patient, and understanding, so much so that he waits until she isn't on the team to ask her out because he is respectful of her boundaries and he needs. Kevin is so domineering and controlling but there is no doubt in my mind about the way Luke lets Penelope lead when it comes to their relationship.
This post is dedicated to @snailsandpuppy-dogtails cuz you actually made me come back and finish writing it lmao so i hope you approve of my analysis.
Also tagging @darcyfangirlsfrequently cuz i feel like I cant make a garvez post without tagging you both
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Hogwarts Legacy x D&D - Character Sheets
As someone who is steadily becoming a dice gremlin and habitual note-taker for D&D, I wondered what each of the Hogwarts Legacy characters would be in the D&D fantasy realm.
What fantasy race and class could they be? Subclasses? What are their highest stats, which ones are then dumped? Why did they join the adventuring party? Where and how would you, an adventurer yourself, meet them? Et cetera et cetera.
First up, our resident charming, clever Slytherin... Sebastian Sallow.
For Sebastian, he wouldn’t be completely satisfied if he went full-on into one class, so he would be dual-classing his life. He would see the advantages of dipping one’s toes in more than one thing. Sure, it would take slightly longer to reap the full benefits, but it’ll be worth it.
Race: Half-Elf
Class & Subclass:
Rogue – Swashbuckler
Both Sebastian and Anne have the basic rogue class in common.
Quick feet, agile and nimble, and able to sneak into places where they shouldn’t be. Their parents were the scholarly types, so they would have to entertain themselves a lot, and one of them was learning little tricks. Sebastian’s first trick was to take a silver coin, make it ‘disappear’ and have it ‘reappear’ behind Anne’s ear. She’d been so overjoyed he started learning more, ergo the roguish start.
The swashbuckler subclass is known for the flashy, showy, bombastic adventuring type (think Captain Jack Sparrow or Robin Hood). He’d gone into fencing and sword-fighting in his youth as an outlet to escape his uncle’s thumb, as well as to learn how to protect Anne after their parents’ death. He knows the footwork like a charm in addition to knowing where to hit where it hurts, and easily could beat out the kids his age.
Over the years, he would train with travelers that happened to be in town, troops that would stay the night, and continually improve. He was also one of the main defenders of their village from anyone who would try to invade their homes.
2. Warlock – Hexblade (pact formed after Anne was cursed)
The term ‘warlock’ gets boxed into the ‘oh, pact with evil demon’ box much too frequently.
According to the D&D Player’s Handbook,
“… many warlocks serve patrons that are not fiendish. Sometimes a traveler in the wilds comes to a strangely beautiful tower, meets its fey lord or lady, and stumbles into a pact without being fully aware of it.”
“Warlocks are driven by an insatiable need for knowledge and power, which compels them into their pacts and shapes their lives. This thirst drives warlocks into their pacts and shapes their later careers as well.”
After Anne was cursed by some unknown origin, Sebastian sought something, anything to lift said curse. One day he searched out into the ruins, further than he’d ever gone before. There, he found a small, silver pendant with a strange spiral symbol and an empty black frame. The moment he picked it up, a woman’s voice came in amidst a dream-like state. She spoke of how she felt his sorrow and the desperation to help his sister. How she understood, because she was once in the same position as he was. He asked her name; she referred to herself as Morganach.
Sebastian entered a pact with Morganach. In exchange for her power so that he can venture beyond the current borders to search for the cure, she had requested that should he be able to land the exacting final blow to any enemies, to use ‘her’ blade so as their sorrows can be alleviated in their final moments of life.
Highest Stat: Charisma
He has charm oozing out of him; everyone finds him either charming, or affable or relatable in some way. He understands the “How to say X to achieve Y.” He knows exactly who to talk to and how to talk to them, both with people in good standing with society as well as those in the seedy parts of town.
Need information from the quiet guy in the back that looks like he could break you like a toothpick? Give him five minutes and he’ll get his life story for you. Need to sneak into an invitation only upper echelon party for some intel? He knows the organizer and can get them on the list.
But if that fails, he has ten lockpick sets. And a couple bottles of alcohol. You know, backup plans.
Second & Third Stat: Dexterity & Intelligence
Second highest is dexterity; he knows how to fight smart. He can dodge, parry, and do some fancy footwork so that his opponents always miss him.
He fights smart, and knows where and how to position himself in a fight to make it the most advantageous for him and exert the least amount of energy doing so. In fact, he doesn’t need anyone close to back him up in a fight; he prefers the one-on-one battles close up. Makes for better stories that way, though would appreciate a nice spell thrown in for assistance.
(Note: Dexterity does not equal constitution.)
Third is intelligence, which for the classes would not be the ‘best’ stat, but in-line with his background. He’s the one laying down the plans, where the traps are, who to talk to so the operation runs smooth. Or if it doesn’t, there’s at least three half-plans to fall back onto.
Dump stat: Wisdom
His wisdom isn’t bad, per say. He is aware of his surroundings well enough that most of the time, it isn’t much of an issue. Sure, sometimes he’ll miss someone slip out of the room until Anne or Ominis has to inform him, but that was only sometimes.
He can usually tell if someone’s lying, he’s read enough books on body language. But sometimes he just misses their intentions, you know? Sometimes he’ll say something slightly off to what they were intending, and would need to muster up his quick thinking and charm to cover his slip-up.
Background:
Sebastian and Anne lived with their parents, who were professors at the nearest university, until they were aged seven. Upon their parents’ passing under mysterious circumstances, they were sent to live with their uncle in a village a few hours away. They remained there until they were old enough and decided to go back to the city they’d originally lived in.
He and Anne started a private investigator agency together in the city to make use of their skillsets. It all started when they uncovered the long-term mystery of how their parents had passed away under mysterious circumstances and upended the criminal organization responsible.
They don’t have any employees, though Ominis joined their agency as a partner. They took on cases anywhere from infiltration, gathering information, and rescuing stray cats.
After Anne was cursed, their agency’s activities were placed on indefinite hiatus as she moved back in with their uncle, their only living relative, as living by herself had become difficult, and the herbs that stave off some of the curse’s effects are grown in abundance near the village they grew up in.
Sebastian and Solomon do not have the best relationship, but have a base understanding that they both care about Anne.
Notable Equipment:
Armor: Medium leather armor, good pair of leather gloves and boots. Nothing particularly fancy unless the occasion calls for it.
Weapons: Dual-Wielding, both rapiers. Does have a set of throwing daggers tucked away in his boots.
Main Hand: “Silver Tongue”.
+1 AC and +1 Hit DC.
Has a beautiful silver blade with a comforting green glow, and the handle is emerald green.
A present from both Anne and Ominis after their one year-anniversary of starting their investigator agency.
Offhand: Pact Weapon “Sorrow Song.”
On a critical hit, the damage dealt would automatically be dealt again to the next target as necrotic damage.
Created when the pact was made with Morganach. Has a silver blade with a black handle.
When the blade is used as the final blow, the blade hums in arcane energy, and the handle, momentarily, turns red.
Those who receive the final blow with this blade will have milky white eyes.
Silver pendant: A strange, silver pendant with a spiral design. When his patron needs to talk to him, or he needs to talk to her, he grips onto said pendant. After Sorrow Song claims a life, it vaguely hums in arcane energy but quickly dissipates.
His reasons to join adventuring party
To search for a cure for his sister.
To help main adventurer on their quest.
To figure out who this ‘Morganach’ is.
First meeting where?
This could go a few ways, but you will always meet him in the first town you visit. The most likely meeting would be from your visit to the local tavern, wherein Sebastian would be there chatting away with the bartender like they had been friends for years, when really, they had only just met fifteen minutes ago.
Favorite Fighting Tactic
Cast Darkness – don’t worry, he has Devil’s Sight evocation. Darkness is not a problem! (within 120 feet, of course)
Hexblade’s Curse; X marks the spot!
Sneak up right next to the target. What’s the likelihood that they can see, right?
Stabbeth and slasheth where it hurts the most. (Sneak attack) Not down yet? Well, he has two rapiers for a reason.
Oh they can see him? That’s fine, he’ll dodge them. That’s when the fun starts.
But when he feels tired and just doesn’t want to get up close? Eldritch blast, Confringo flavor.
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#hogwarts headcanon#sebastian sallow#d&d 5e#HL x D&D#hogwarts legacy sebastian#hogwarts fanfiction
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Characters from different universe who would be best friends if they meet
Introduction
On Twitter there is a trend going on currently where people are posting pictures of characters from different animes, games, movies and other franchises who would have been best friends if their worlds meet or if one of them existed in the other one's world.
Being into both Tokyo Revengers which is the current anime I've been somewhat into and of course Mystic Messenger I realised that Matsuno Chifuyu from Tokyo Revengers and Kim Yoosung from Mystic Messenger would have been absolute best friends if they ever met.
Their similarities (according to me)
As someone who likes to see patterns and similarities. I have an opinion, I could not help but realise that Chifuyu is very very similar to Yoosung. Infact according to me Chifuyu is like, if Yoosung was more assertive, aggressive and could kick ass.
One of the most prominent similarity I see in them (besides the fact that they are blondes) is that both Chifuyu and Yoosung are fiercely loyal to the people they value the most, and often to the point that they both are willing to put their own lives at risk, such as Yoosung in his Good Ending, Normal Ending and Bad Ending 3 and Chifuyu in the post Vallaha arc and also when he volunteered to be beaten up by Baji in front of Vallaha before the Bloody Halloween fight.
One of the prominent aspect of their stories is that they have faced the loss of a loved one they admired the most. In Chifuyu's case its Baji and in Yoosung's case its Rika (i know Rika isnt actually dead but he had believed Rika had died for a long while. Also by the end of the manga Baji gets revived as well). The respective loved ones mentioned here also happen to have inspired them and had made them a better person as well.
Note:- I'm not sure how much true it is but many Tokyo Revengers fans had theorised that Chifuyu dyed his hair black because of Baji which reminds me of the theory of Yoosung dyeing his hair blonde possibly because of Rika.
They both eventually choose animal related careers in future. Chifuyu in future timeline becomes a pet store owner and Yoosung on the other hand becomes a vet. Besides that, they also share another similar interest. Both Chifuyu and Yoosung are canonically Shoujo manga enthusiasts.
Most importantly, they both are cheerful individuals with sunshine-y energy who strongly stand up for what they believe in and sometimes pretty openly angry at people whom they believe to have hurt their loved ones (or obviously actually had in Chifuyu's case). Both Chifuyu and Yoosung openly despised Kisaki and Jihyun because of this.
Going back to the loyalty point. Because of their loving and loyal personality, sometimes they can be very defensive about the persons they care the most about. When during Vallaha arc Chifuyu refused to see Baji as a "bad person" when Baji was pushing Chifuyu away to handle things on his own, it reminded me of the part in Seven route where Yoosung refused to see Seven as a "bad guy" when Seven was pushing him away.
What if they meet?
So I have imagined a couple of scenarios involving both Chifuyu and Yoosung together. Not only they have similar behaviour but also have similar interests. Now these are just a byproduct of my brainrot and mainly headcannons
I imagined that, in the early years of his life Yoosung's family lived in Japan for a while and he attended the same school as Chifuyu. He obviously is much younger than Chifuyu (since Chifuyu was born in 1991 and Yoosung was born somewhere in mid to late 90s most likely in 1996 in canon). Chifuyu happens to be this kind and friendly senior who protected him from bullies multiple times and thats how they form a bond. It is not limited to Chifuyu simply protecting him from bullies, whenever they met they often rambled about their favourite Shoujo mangas (thinking of both of them spending hours talking about Fruits Basket...so cute). Eventually they end up parting away because Yoosung's family goes back to Korea but the two boys still keep in touch with each other through letters and eventually through social media. They reunite later in the year 2017 (and it is the final timeline taking place so everything is comparitively fine).
In the final timeline, Baji happens to prepare hard to get into a veterinary school but ends up failing multiple times. I can imagine Chifuyu introducing Yoosung to Baji since Yoosung is in the same line (I have also assumed it is taking place after the Good Ending so yes Yoosung is seriously studying here).
Baji being the independent person he is was initially hesitant but agreed to be helped and so after that Baji, Chifuyu and Yoosung from the other side of the computer spent multiple sleepness nights, emptying multiple cans of Monster drink to help Baji prepare for his entrance. Chifuyu is there to act as the translator for the future vets studying together.
Finally the day of exam arrives and this time Baji succeeds and gets to study for his dream job.
After this I imagine one day Yoosung goes to japan with Seven (because he isnt fluent in japanese and does not want to go alone) and both Bajifuyu came to pick him up. As soon as Baji sees him Baji runs to him and hugs him tightly, thanking the younger blonde man for his help. I also imagine Yoosung telling Baji to also give some credits to Seven as well because Seven helped him out to explain Baji in a better way.
My note
Its been a really long while since I had made a proper post on any anime or mystic messenger so I am feeling good to get back into it. I also plan to write more blogposts about anime and mystic messenger in future. I really miss the times when I used to make alot of posts (i.e. in 2020) and I wish to get back to that time.
I initially wanted to only post about how I find Chifuyu and Yoosung similar since I love Tokyo Revengers and Mystic Messenger. However after seeing the trend on twitter I decided to post my brainrot scenarios here as well.
#mystic messenger#yoosung kim#chifuyu matsuno#tokyo revengers#tokrev#matsuno chifuyu#kim yoosung#baji#baji tokyo revengers#baji keisuke#saeyoung choi#mysme seven
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Had Worse
Chapter: 2/6
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Word count: 3403
Relationships: Edward Elric & Vato Falman & Team Mustang.
Tags: 5+1 Things, Pre-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Blood, Edward Elric Has Issues, Depressed Vato Falman, Language.
Summary: Where the fuck did the Colonel find this kid?
OR
5 times Edward said 'I've had worse' and horrified his poor innocent coworkers with his Tragic Backstory and 1 time he wasn't able to (to everyone's relief)
Read on AO3
It was unanimously agreed that out of everyone on the Mustang's unit Warrant Officer Vato Falman had the highest pain tolerance.
It was ironic, considering the fact that the man had been happily serving in intelligence for most of his career and was promptly put on desk duty upon joining the team. One would think that with First Lieutenant Havoc's habit of getting shot at at least once a month (if not on a mission then by a very pissed off relative of his current girlfriend-of-the-week) or with Colonel Roy Mustang's tendency to get in trouble on rainy days, the statistic would be different.
Appearances, however, were often deceiving. It was a very little known fact, but Falman was always in some kind of pain. A condition that had been passed onto him by his great-grandmother, relatively harmless if severely impairing his quality of life. It only really began to set in after he turned thirty and was well into his military career. The doctors' only advice was to suck it up, do his stretches and accept that his body was past its prime and would never again reach the same level of performance.
The combination of bad genes, steadily declining health and stress of both his wife and superior officers breathing down his neck took it's toll on Vato. At forty years old he already felt sixty, exhausted and hopeless, his bones and muscles burning for no good reason and his hair graying rapidly. It was quite possible the worst time of his life, and in his darkest moments he had to take a look at himself and wonder if anything he'd ever done was worth it.
Was that the end? Decades of sacrifices, dedication and hard work, all for nothing? So much time wasted holding onto his failing marriage, grasping at straws to advance his career, and that was all he got? Had he made all the wrong choices, every mistake imaginable, to end up alone and constantly in pain? Or was he simply unlucky, a victim of circumstance, and none of his suffering and struggles had any meaning?
What was the point of it all?
Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, had quite possibly saved Falman's life. Many things could be said about the man, concerning both his personality and work ethic, but it took one passing conversation after Major Hughes introduced them for him to offer Vato a position in his team.
Vato had nothing but his pain, no goals, no close friends, even his children were away and better off without him. He had nothing left to lose, so when the man with ash in his footsteps and inferno in his eyes reached out with his bloodied hand, Falman took it. And never looked back.
Damn the consequences. If he was destined to burn anyway, he could at least do it for a cause.
And burn he did. His body and his soul. With pain and passion, in all imaginable ways but the literal one (except that one time on stakeout that Second Lieutenant Havoc still owed him for). Because he had nothing left to lose but everything to gain, and he knew that no matter what his team would be there to breathe life into his charred remains.
It was baffling, sometimes, how readily he would die for each and every one of his comrades. But, then again, he knew that all of them would gladly do the same for him. Vato knew family - had had a family once, before his illness made him a husk of a man his wife couldn't bear to live with. His whole life he wanted nothing more than to matter, to belong. And now he finally did.
Colonel Mustang's unit was tight-knit and they all helped each other. Falman had never been good with words and he preferred to work with data instead of people for a reason, but he soon found that with his people words didn't mean much in the first place. Instead, he simply did his best to take care of his friends and they never failed to do the same.
For instance, the rainy day flare-ups. Logically Vato knew that in Central it on average rained 139 days of the year, which was a relatively small number. Measly 38% of his life was affected by changes in barometric pressure. Nothing to cry about, especially considering that he wasn't even going out in the field a lot these days.
He'd been determined not to mention anything about it to his colleagues, but as always, there wasn't any need. Upon arriving in the office (precisely on time, even if he had to get up early to make up for his body fighting him at every turn) Falman had found a fresh cup of coffee and a bottle of aspirin, courtesy of Master Sergeant Fuery. Vato had never had the heart to tell the young man that aspirin couldn't help this kind of pain. The sentiment was still sweet and the seeing Kain's earnest face lit up at Falman's grateful nod warmed his heart.
During the day Vato did his best to carry out his duties as usual. It was a slow process as the burning in his joints was greatly affecting his ability to concentrate on papers he was filing. He knew for sure it must have been obvious with how often he paused to stretch a little, or how he tried to inconspicuously massage his back, or even just by the way his share of paperwork was taking twice as long to get done. Still, First Lieutenant Hawkeye, always eager to improve the team's performance with liberal use of firearms, said nothing of him not meeting her standards.
Even Second Lieutenant Havoc made a considerable effort not to smoke in his presence, knowing full well how the smell affected his budding headache.
"Falman," Second Lieutenant Breda called, breaking his already fragile focus. "We're going out to have lunch. Will you join us?"
Vato bit his lip and looked forlornly at the sheets of paper on his desk.
"No. I'm not particularly hungry, and I'd rather catch up on my workload. I'm already behind as it is."
"Nobody would blame you if you took it easy for once, you know? You're already the second most effective person in this office, between you and Hawkeye you should live some work for the rest of us!"
Breda chuckled and Falman cracked up a smile in return, but still shook his head. They all had their duties, like cogs in the machine, and he'd be damned before he let it come to a halt because of one faulty piece.
"Alright," sighed the Second Lieutenant. "But we're grabbing you a sandwich at least, my treat." And left before Vato could refuse.
What a team to end up on. He really was lucky, wasn't he?
He's only ten minutes into the lunch, however, when the peace and quiet came to an abrupt end with a steel-toed boot almost kicking the door off the hinges.
"'Sup, guys!" came a cheerful, loud, yell as their newest recruit waltzed in started looking around in confusion. "Where's everyone?"
"Major Elric," Vato saluted stiffly, lips pinched in poorly disguised disapproval. "This is lunchtime, I'd imagine our colleagues are having lunch in the cafeteria. Isn't today your day off?"
It was. It was Fullmetal's day off and shouldn't have been here, loudly, out of uniform (again) breaking things (again) ignoring regulations (AGAIN)... At least he didn't bring his brother this time. Small mercies.
"Shit, man, would you stop it with the ranks? I'm Ed. Just call me 'Ed'. Or 'Edward' if you're so formal. Live a little!"
Why was it suddenly his turn for babysitting duty? Vato couldn't even look after his own kids, and especially not on a rainy day like this. But how was he supposed to politely say 'Go away, boy, I'm in too much pain to deal with you today'?
"It's against regulations, Sir." Vato shrugged despite his muscles' furious protests. "Did you need something?"
It wasn't that he disliked Edward Elric particularly. He was loud and annoying and more than a handful, if their first few weeks of serving together were anything to go by, but at his age it was nothing terribly unusual.
"Yeah, look, do we have a med kit here or something?"
Edward Elric was a child, even when he desperately tried to appear a grown up. And Falman... Falman hadn't had the best experience with children. In fact, in his own humble opinion, he should've been kept away from kids, at all times.
Fullmetal was now a part of the team, and their team took care of each other. The only way Vato could take care of the boy was if he stayed as far away from him as possible. Because, given his track record - he'd fuck the kid up.
"The right cabinet, second shelf from the top." He hesitated. "Do you... Do you need help reaching it?"
"WHO ARE CALLING SO SMALL HE HAS TO CLIMB FOR HOURS JUST TO REACH THE TOP SHELF?!"
Vato recoiled at the outburst and closed his eyes for a moment in an effort to make the headache slightly more bearable. The boy continued mumbling under his breath about his 'completely average' size and then let out a suspiciously quiet swear. Falman briefly debated pretending not to notice, but he could see the kid's legs shaking with the effort as he stood on his very tiptoes, gripping the open door for support.
"I could-"
"Shut it!" Elric barked. "I can do it myself!"
Vato sighed again and, for better or for worse, got up from his desk. As quickly as his tortured body let him he came over to the cabinet and took out the case.
"There's nothing wrong with accepting help sometimes." He insisted, echoing the words usually directed at him. "Everyone needs help. No one thinks less of you for that."
Fullmetal said nothing as he grabbed the med kit out of Falman's hands, face so red it almost matched his coat.
And then he stopped. Looked up at Vato, cheeks still alight with embarrassment but his gaze uncomfortably serious. He stared the man down, piercing, cutting him into tiny little boxes and sorting everything inside. Tearing his soul out and weighting it against a feather, with the same burning intensity Lieutenant Colonel Mustang once upon a time directed at him.
The Flame Alchemist looked into his eyes and saw someone worth saving, someone worth trusting. What would Fullmetal see?
"Alright then." Edward nodded to himself and shoved the kit back into Falman's numb hands. "Since you're offering, I could use a hand."
The boy snickered as if he'd made a joke and strode confidently into the Colonel's vacant office.
"Colonel Mustang is also having lunch," He called out, following the kid. "You may wait for him outside."
"Nah," He shrugged, unconcerned. "I figured the Bastard would be slacking off. But if I'm gonna bleed, I'm doing it on his couch, because fuck him."
"Bleed?!" Oh god, please let the child just be dramatic, just for the sake of his own dwindling sanity. "If you're injured I can walk you to the infirmary."
"Nah," Elric shrugged again and threw himself on the couch, taking great care to put his muddied boots on an armrest and ignore Vato clearly dying at the sight. "It's just a scratch. I'd take care of it myself, but I'm right-handed and I don't trust my left to do the job."
With that he pulled up his coat to reveal his right leg. Right leg, in the tight leather pants so clearly against the regulations. Right leg in platform boots covered in mud, rainwater and god knows what else.
Right leg.
With a knife sticking out of it.
"So?" Edward asked impatiently. "Come on, you said you wanted to help, and I don't have all day."
This. This wasn't happening. There was no way.
"Is this a prank?" He managed, faintly, staring at the blood soaking through his pants, through that damn red coat and into the Colonel's prized 'comfy' couch.
"What? No! What the hell, do you think I'd come into this shithole on my day off for a prank? It was closer than the dorms and I didn't want Al to freak out over nothing."
Well, now Vato was freaking out.
"This isn't nothing! You've been stabbed! You need a doctor!"
"No!" The boy sounded annoyed. Petulant. Like he was declining broccoli instead of urgently needed medical care. This couldn't be real. "I told you, it's a scratch. That knife's, like, two inches tops, and it's not even all the way in. I'd pull it out immediately, but I figured I might need a stitch or two so I walked here."
"How did you even walk?!"
"Well. Carefully. Duh. Didn't want to jolt it too much just in case it nicks an artery or some shit. That'd be a pain to deal with."
He snickers again as he starts rummaging through the case, picking up bandages and rubbing alcohol.
"This is bullshit, you guys call this a 'med kit'? You don't even have needles! How do you live like that?"
"If the would is deep enough to require stitches the protocol suggests getting medical staff involved. Come on, let me carry you-"
"Hands off, old man!" The kid yelled and jerked away. "Look, if you're not gonna help, you can just go. I'll deal with it myself, like I always do."
"How often does this happen?!"
"You know, sometimes." Edward shifted uncomfortably. "So what'll it be? 'M not getting any younger."
He stared. He thought. He analyzed. This was his strong suit, his one redeeming quality. His brain was wired for creating and utilizing statistics, rules, solutions. He looked at problems and he dealt with them, one step at a time.
Now, he wondered, what would the first step be? If he left to call for help, Fullmetal would undoubtedly run. And if he tried to use the phone or carry the child to safety... That wouldn't be a fight he could win. Not in his current condition.
Vato let out a loud, deep, miserable sigh and pinched his nose.
"You'll need to pull your pants down. And I'm not much of a nurse. All of us have a first aid training, but I never had to stitch a wound before."
"That's fine. It's not much harder than sewing clothes, you'll just need to use more force. And I grew up with surgeons, I know how it's done and I'll walk you through it. All I need from you are your steady hands."
Steady hands. That he could manage.
(And by god, he did. He had no choice, not with a child at his mercy. The team looks out for each other. A father looks after a son. Even someone else's.
And wasn't that his greatest regret in the first place? That he stood by and did nothing for his own kids? He wallowed in his misery and left them long before they left him and he'd never earn forgiveness.
But he was burning anyway, his body and his soul, and he'd let them both turn to ash before he made the same mistake again.
Never again.)
In the end it didn't even take much time. Or maybe Vato was just so focused on not fucking up the kid that hours had passed by unnoticed in his single-minded determination.
"Yeah, I think that's it." Fullmetal said finally and the man sinked onto the floor. "Thanks a ton, Falman, I owe you one."
"You're welcome," he responded, feeling faint from both the nervous tension and the absolute agony his back rewarded him with for crouching on his knees for half an hour. "But I'm never, never, ever doing it again."
Edward laughed.
"It's okay, you did great for a beginner. It'll still leave a scar, but I have too much of those to give a fuck anymore."
He then proceeded to move his hip experimentally, as if testing how much force it would take for the stitches tear.
"Doesn't that hurt?"
The words slipped out before Vato could stop himself. The boy refused to take anything from the meager selection of over-the-counter painkillers and haven't flinched once during the so-called 'procedure', but now that he thought about it more, it was a very, very bad sign. The alchemist must've been going into shock.
"Eh, not particularly. I've had worse. Much worse." He had a faraway look on his face, and Falman wondered briefly if Fullmetal was having a flashback, but then his mouth opened in a silent 'oh' and finally settled into a horrible, knowing grin. "Ah, I see. The Bastard hasn't told you, has he? Just like that dick to keep all information for himself."
"What do you mean?"
Falman didn't believe in intuition, he believed in experience. And his was telling him that he wouldn't like where this was going.
"Look!" The boy put his left leg up in as perfect a split as he could manage while sitting with a freshly stitched hip and let the gravity work it's magic. "I've got metal leg!"
Vato choked.
The leather pants pulled up just enough to reveal steel where flesh should have been. Automail.
Elric cheerfully continued.
"Goes just above the knee! Also, my right arm all up to the shoulder. Which is why I couldn't stitch myself. I'm right-handed, but I couldn't risk breaking the needle, and doing it with a non-dominant hand is just asking for trouble."
Vato stared.
"But... It's raining..." What a useless thing to focus on. "How did you even walk? I have a cousin with automail, on rainy days he can't even get out of bed!"
He half expected the boy to scoff and say something along the lines of: "Well, your cousin is a pussy, and I'm cool as shit!" Instead he saw the child's grin dim into a grimace.
"Well, that's not unusual. Everyone deals with it differently. My pain tolerance was fucked up even before the surgery, so, really, I've kinda always been a freak."
And once again Falman couldn't stop his tongue from moving, but, just this once, he didn't even try.
"Don't say that."
"Huh?"
His hands were on boy's shoulders and now that he knew what he was looking for it was so easy to tell the difference, he didn't know how he never noticed it before. He held Edward down both firmly and as gently as he could, as he never got to hold his own children, and for a second he imagined a different boy sitting there.
What would he tell his son?
"You're not a freak. Maybe you were just built different. It makes you all the cooler for putting up with more bullshit than the rest of us."
"You swore!" The boy cackled and his eyes lit up with wonder, but there was something so raw and painful in them that it made Vato's own raging fire look like a candle in comparison. "And you think I'm cool?"
"Yes, Edward. The coolest"
And for the first time they've known each other Falman didn't have to force himself to smile. Fullmetal's answering grin felt a like warm sun on his aching bones.
(And just a little bit like forgiveness.)
"Ha! You just wait until our next argument, Bastard! I got Falman to swear, now no one can stop me!"
Elric hopped off the couch, laughing maniacally, and ran out the door before Vato could even think to stop him.
It was, perhaps, for the best. After getting a glimpse into the weight that boy had been carrying on his shoulders, Falman didn't want him to see the man crawling to his desk. Who was he to complain about his pain when they had a literal child soldier around with two metal limbs?
He had so many questions. How did this happen? What about his little brother and that armor? Their parents? And what on earth did they think they were doing, joining the military at that age? Twelve and eleven, oh, it was completely absurd.
There was so much data to work with, to uncover, to analyze. But for the very first time in his life...
"I've had worse. Much worse."
...Vato Falman was absolutely certain that he didn't want to know.
#fanfiction#fullmetal alchimist brotherhood#edward elric#vato falman#hurt/comfort#bamf!ed#ed @ trauma#“and repreeess... this is HeAlThY”#falman @ ed#“i CAN'T make him worse”
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Black Sails VIII (S1E8)
Spoilers for up to and including E8.
I forgot that all this happened in one episode, but then again it's Black Sails, and this is the first of four amazing season finales.
Silver is somehow still alive and on the Walrus, although given that his position currently relies on Randall, he's probably not as secure as he'd like to be. To be fair, those 18th century prosthetics don't look fun and I'm not sure I wouldn't feel the same if someone tried to make me wear one. Either way, Silver somehow has less problems than the rest of them. His schedule was actually correct (can we just take a moment to appreciate that this man held a full fucking schedule in his head for weeks after having it for one day), Eleanor's still protecting him (I assume), and he may be about to come into a lot of money. He clearly wants some clarity in terms of what Flint's plans for him are, which Flint absolutely will not give him, but, honestly, things could be worse. He could be Gates.
Flint and Gates are just a complete mess at this point. A bunch of people are expecting Gates to kill Flint whilst Gates, the wonderful man that he was, was going to help Flint escape but even then would definitely end his career as a pirate. Flint, meanwhile, would never let anyone get in between him and the Urca. I'm pretty sure they put that drinking scene in there just to hurt us even more, to show us that a) Flint and Gates are actually really close friends and b) Gates is (was) a gem of a human being. Seriously, who else would spend weeks trying to deliver a letter to a friend's sister? And all that just makes the events of the following day even harder. After everything that's happened, the Urca isn't there. I can't explain why, but something about that just feels so fitting. It's not good for Flint though, as it brings all the tensions between him, Gates, and the rest of the crew to boiling point. De Groot wants Flint tried then and there, Flint wants to go after a literal man o' war (I don't know much, but it having "war" in the name is generally a bad sign), and Gates, oh poor old Gates, just wants to get everyone back to Nassau before shit hits the fan, but I think he knows that that won't happen. Him handing Dufresne the letter with his confession was him admitting that to himself, and letting himself believe, for the first time, that Flint might rather kill him than give up on his dreams. This realisation is, for him, the breaking point that brings all the other realisations crushing down, and he loses it with Flint. He finally tells Flint that "(his) duty is to the (crew) not you", something that Flint had convinced both of them wasn't true, and Flint can't recognise that Gates is beyond believing in anything he says, I don't think he realises the extent to which he's grasping at straws until he accuses Gates of muntinying and Gates reveals everything he's been doing to manage the actual muntiny but, at this point, I think he's too far gone to actually act rationally on it. The final straw for Flint, though, is Gates' crushingly well-meaning plan to get him and Miranda to safety. The second he heard the word pardon, it was over for Gates. Whatever the backstory is between Flint and Miranda, I don't think he knows all of it, because, unlike Miranda, he didn't even try to sugarcoat the suggestion of taking the pardon. I think the worst thing is, neither of them could have stopped what was going to happen. Gates couldn't have prevented a mutiny for any longer, and Flint couldn't have let Gates take his life as a pirate away from him. Despite, or because of, its inevitability, that scene is the most emotional one in the show so far. It really showcases what Black Sails is becoming and the direction that it's heading in (more on that in my season 1 wrap-up probably). And the most Black Sails thing about it is that, as Flint is killing one of our most beloved, genuinely kind-hearted, characters, we feel more sorry for him than ever before. I can't express or describe the emotions that watching Flint choke his best friend to death, all while crying and apologising again and again evokes, but oh boy are those emotions powerful. This is definitely some kind of turning point.
Then, as Flint is processing what he's just done, holding Gates' body, Silver comes in. These two are a match made in hell, we can be sure of that. Flint has just killed someone, acting on emotion and impulse, and now Silver is coming in with little to no emotion and immediately treats the situation like a crime scene, all while Flint is collapsed like a cornered, dying animal. Flint tries to stop Silver but quickly gives in, whether because he sees the logic in it or just because he can't fight anymore (probably a bit of both). Then, just as a new sort of equilibrium has been achieved in this moment of absolute chaos and upheaval, Dufresne also comes to shake things up. At this point, it's probably good that Silver's also present, because Dufresne hasn't always been the best at acting on what's smartest, as opposed to what feels best. Silver is possibly too good at talking people into being what he wants, because Dufresne ends up giving Flint important advice, reaching some kind of uneasy truce.
As such, they go into the confrontation with the spanish ship with some kind of (not necessarily firm) footing, which Flint immediately tests with his ploy to prove that the man o' war is there for the Urca, and then going to attack a ridiculously overpowered ship. Also, Silver speaks Spanish? Anyway, this proves to be too much for Dufresne who shows more awareness of other people's perceptions of him than I maybe gave him credit for and choses the right exact moment to call Flint out. De Groot, meanwhile, is being the grumpy and prophetic old man we all know and love (I mean, seriously, "Time and time again he gambles with our lives. That is, when he's not taking them in cold blood." this man could make a killing as a writer of some sort, along with Mr "there are not legacies in this life ... just the water. It pays us, then it claims us" Gates, grumpy prophetic old men rise up I guess). For the second time in one day, Flint is having his power, future and dream taken away from him at the last moment. There's a moment where everything comes full circle as Logan(?) confirms the evidence condemning Flint is true, much as Billy confirmed Singleton's "theft", except, this time, it's likely that the evidence is true (although we never see the letter). Flint can see he's lost, but he keeps screaming for the guns to fire, then tries to fire them himself, only stopping when Dufresne literally shoots him.
At some point in the middle of all this, De Groot stops being a pessimistic prophet for a moment to actually do something. It's a good move, because Silver is one slippery man, and De Groot almost has him when we get one of the plot twists of all time: Randall, the man who, as far as we've known so far, has barely any awareness of his situation and little to no loyalty to Silver, fucking knocks De Groot out with his prosthetic leg, and follows that up with "you're welcome". What a guy. He remains a mystery to me-- this only complicates things-- but what a character. Silver then uses this opening to just shake shit up, I guess maybe because he thinks that starting a battle is one way to avoid immediate execution. We get a few moments of not quite calm, but organisation, as the Walrus crew accept that they're in battle and now need to win. Flint gets some semblance of control back as he advises/commands Dufresne, moving round the ship freely again, despite having recently been shot. The pirates have momentary victory thanks to the element of surprise. Then, in a moment of incredibly cinematography, the man o' war's gun ports open, audio becomes distant for a moment, then all hell breaks loose.
At this point, we should probably admit that Gates, Dufresne, and everyone who said that firing on a man o' war would be a really, spectacularly, bad idea were probably right. The Walrus is met with pure destruction. At some point, Flint is knocked overboard into the water. Whether he's unconscious or just letting himself sink is unclear but that shot of calm amidst the destruction is eerily beautiful.
Meanwhile, on Nassau, things are not going a whole lot better. At the beginning of the episode, it does look like Jack has some level of control over his new (not necessarily ideal) situation. He's firing Mapleton, he's working well with Max, he's got the merchants on his side, things are the best they've been for him for the best part of this season so far. Anne is not happy about any of this, but doesn't really say why. There's also a moment of her just... looking at Max in a moment of yearning(?) that breaks her general grumpiness for just a second. Eleanor, too, has got her shipping consortium more or less sorted. Sure, Mr. Scott is leaving her and she has no idea what's going on with Flint, but, like Jack, she's made the best of a bad situation and has more than found her feet
Then, just like with the Walrus, everything comes crashing down around them. Vane has returned with a vengance, a new crew, a shockingly effective plan, and a flare for the dramatic. Immediately, he sews as much panic and confusion as is humanly possible and, in doing so, effectively asserts his power. Mr Scott, despite his increasingly complicated relationship with Eleanor, immediately goes to protect her, making him possibly the only helpful person in this situation. Vane doesn't seem to have much of a goal beyond the ever-elusive ideals of power and strength, and all Hornigold cares about is his fucking chair. Vane then comes fully onto the scene with a slightly out of place story about Eleanor being fearless in Nassau, then claims to know her. Honestly, a lot of this seems like a massive ploy to get Eleanor to talk to him, but I guess it has worked a little. Eleanor is, for once, incredibly pragmatic about the situation, switching loyalties from Hornigold to Vane very quickly. That definitely won't have any negative consequences. Vane, too, adjusts very quickly to his new situation and immediately goes around to tie up his other loose end. As Anne predicted, he's suitably mad at (what he thinks was) Jack killing the remainder of their crew, and has found the worst possible punishment for a man obsessed with his name and reputation. At least, while all this is going on, Max and Eleanor come to some kind of agreement. Max is dressed spectacularly, and they're both stood in a secure position, looking out over Nassau. Max has come to appreciate Eleanor's point of view (and also possibly enjoys showing Eleanor how well she's doing without her) and each one seems to appreciate and respect the other's position and perspective. Yay for communication and emotional maturity!
Then we get our last moments on Nassau, after Max's "on sand, nothing is fixed" speech (prophetic women! yay!), with Vane in Hornigold's damn chair and Eleanor on the beach, just like in Vane's memory of her. It's a cool way to show how the power has shifted in Nassau, all whilst Flint and co. are off dying elsewhere.
Flint is, once again, absolutely covered in blood and sand and just general grime. Silver has pulled him out of the ocean, probably because he's recognised that Flint is the only guy who might not want to kill him immediately. He also seems to have mostly undressed Flint and given his bullet wound the school nurse treatment (wet paper towel). Silver is, once again, looking shockingly unaffected by everything, even maintaining some kind of optimisim that James "why am I still alive" Flint has long since given up on. Then we get yet another stunning shot of Flint and Silver on the beach, looking very small in the space of everything. It's an interesting perspective to just throw in there, even for a moment. Flint also gets an answer to his question pretty quickly as he (now with crumpled shirt) is shown the Urca. That sure is some painful irony-- that, if they had taken one piece of information into account, none of the past episode might have happened. Now, he and Silver are being kept alive as likely sacrifices for the process of getting the gold. What a way to end the season. I'm glad that all the seasons were released by the time I started this.
#my posts#tv shows#spoiler#tv#tv show review#episode review#tv reviews#black sails#black sails review#black sails spoilers
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Jennifer Galownia: Singing the Harmonies of Dreams Come True
She takes all “things” very seriously because she believes it’s the only way to do all “things” the right way.
Like her job. It’s in the medical lab field. Gotta get that right. And her music. Pitch perfect. A wife and a mother? Hey man, those people are her tribe. Her untouchable tribe. Get it, mister?
Jennifer Galownia a cop’s wife, a Bridgeport resident ready to defend the village against its social media critics, and she admits she needs to do a better job of slowing down enough to record her family’s ever-progressing evolution. But, for being so dead damn serious so often, Galownia does love to smile and to laugh as often as possible, and she enjoys making herself giggle even if no one chuckles with her.
An example? Her job title in the “About” section of her Facebook timeline is, simply, “Being Hilarious,” and her intro states, “Wife and momma trying to raise lions, not sheep.”
See? Real deal, right?
And then the Facebook Intro continues, “Sang in Washington, D.C. at THE WHITE HOUSE.”
Oh yeah, she did that back in December 2018 with the other duo of The Ron Retzer Trio, and if not for her songbird voice and her due diligence while communicating with the Trump Administration, she, Retzer, and Bob Wolfe would not have performed that day in the West Wing’s Cross Hall.
That’s because Galownia takes all “things” very seriously because she believes it’s the only way to do all “things” the right way.
Jennifer and her father have lived in Bridgeport for several years.
What instigated your current music career with the Ron Retzer Trio?
I was performing for local fundraisers and churches with some other people around the area, when Ron (Retzer) and Bob (Wolfe) got recruited in 2012 to join the group for a wider variety. After a while, the three of us agreed that our harmonies with each other were something special, so we formed what is now known as the Ron Retzer Trio.
It’s been a rewarding and beautiful relationship not just between each of us, but our families, too. We all get to travel together, which keeps it interesting. We’ve all been fortunate to watch each other’s kids grow – mine, Bob’s … Ron’s grandchildren and now his great-grands!
You are angry and passionate about the current drug epidemic. Why?
Drugs. Well. This is a hard one.
Back in 2011, I got hired on by Calloway Labs to help start up inpatient and outpatient drug testing for a local substance abuse program due to new federal guidelines. It opened up a somewhat sheltered viewpoint in regard to the opioid crisis, homelessness and mental health issues as more and more people came in.
I am not certain when it became more than just a lab for me, but my office has seen thousands of people over the years. I remember most of them. That August, I remember when staff came to tell me that one of our clients had overdosed. That was the beginning of reality.
After news that he died, it seemed to happen every couple of months. I’d meet people at their very worst. Back then I’d go up into the crisis unit where they were, and eventually they’d work their way to the outpatient department. If they did well, and so many do, they would continue with treatment and therapy. But, it seemed every couple months, someone would disappear, get called back out by “a friend” or a family member and the addiction would eventually win out. I wouldn’t see them again.
It’s also a rewarding job, meeting these hurting people and watching them overcome obstacles. They’re excited just to get clean, have their own place, and get children back who were removed during active drug addiction. It’s a long process, but I’ve seen many people come up and out of that lifestyle to become productive, professional members of society while implementing the valuable tools and lessons learned.
So, I guess I do get angry, and sad, but I am most passionate about the possibilities for all of them to have a rewarding, sober life when they learn their worth.
What “season of songs” is your favorite collection of music?
The 80’s. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore! And the genre didn’t matter. From country, to pop, rap and R&B, I skated to them all!
Galownia unfortunately, has a front-row seat for the ongoing drug epidemic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 representing the worst possible, how nervous were you when your husband went to work as the administrator of the Belmont County Jail?
I can’t remember how long Stan served as the Assistant Jail administrator, but I remember when his boss resigned in the midst of the COVID pandemic. I wasn’t nervous that he couldn’t do the job, he’d been doing it for years anyway, but I was nervous because of the daily stress on him. We both knew it would probably increase with the complete responsibilities, due to the fact that it was his neck on the chopping block, even for things he wasn’t made aware of.
Adding that to the COVID scare, having to know the ever-changing protocols for quarantining and how to delegate things to a dwindling staff didn’t make matters any better. I never doubted that he would be a great administrator, especially because he had experience in every single part of that jail down to the fire system, and because he’s a people-person and most know not to “take his kindness for weakness” as I’ve heard him say many times.
He’ll let you go for a bit, then tell you why you’re wrong.
Since bringing the jail through COVID and a stellar passing jail inspection, his retirement at the end of August has been great. He paid his dues and left the new guy a clean slate. He’s enjoying a new job, now not supervising anyone but himself, and he likes it.
Jennifer has always been a singer, and she and her family have enjoyed traveling together for performances.
Why do you give people a pickle?
And now the pickle …
I used to work at Stone and Thomas at the mall many moons ago in their housewares department. I would go over to Notions and help decorate the Christmas trees when we weren’t busy. I remember unpacking little pickle ornaments and being so excited to hide most of them, but still make them “kind of” visible.
I got to tell people the story behind the Christmas Pickle. My maiden name is Faulkner, which is of German descent. I found it only fitting to share it with others who didn’t know.
One day, there was a radio broadcast and I called in and was able to talk about the story of the Christmas Pickle on the air. So, I went out to Hallmark one afternoon to get a brand new pickle ornament that I believe may grace the Novotney family Christmas tree to this day.
My daughter still hides ours every year, and strangely enough, it’s always her younger brother who seems to find it first.
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𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ⁝⁝⁝
— kareem avi baksh, 35, demi-man (they/them & he/him), witch.
— their birthday is april 5th, making them an aries. his rising sign is virgo and moon is leo.
— born and raised in fenrir’s wood to two well-known and cherished townsfolk, both within and outside the witch community. his family had adopted one child before he was born and then another after he was born.
— growing up, playing football was all they’ve ever dreamed of, and they were quite good at it. they ended up being scouted to play for Leicester City's starting team at the end of secondary school, but an accident during one of the last games of their first season completely destroyed his knee’s ligaments, thus destroying his chances of playing professional football.
— after that, kareem fell into depression, but with his family’s and friend’s, and of course, professional help, he was able to get back on his two feet. he studied chemistry and biology in uni and started working part-time in one of his family’s business: rue botanicals. a shop that made bodycare products with a hint of magic and that catered to each customer’s need.
— nowadays kareem not only is the shop’s chemist, but they’re also the current manager and their pretty contempt with their life.
— his relationship with his parents has been a little rocky ever since he’s decided to leave the coven they were all part of and join hel’s coven, because to him, it aligned more with how he wanted to pursue his magic.
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 ⁝⁝⁝
— goes by they/them and will at often times call you out if you use gendered terms with them. uses he/him around or when talking about his family only
— his family owns a few business places in town, two of them being: rue botanicals & coffeekanteen. while kareem manages the cosmetic shop, one of his siblings is in charge of coffeekanteen
— his mother is the current mayor of fenrir’s wood, going on her second year in office
— rue botanicals is very famous in town not only among its townfolk, but also, among tourists who stop by with curiosity generated by word of mouth that surrounds the shop. it’s known to provide individually crafted products to cater each customer’s special need, whether it’s hairloss or dry skin, to granting them a little bit of luck on an important occasion. the shop also offers general, everyday products to their clients
— grows their own weed, and it’s truly good, but only a select few friends know about this because he can’t let his mother’s career to get ruined by that
— while they can’t make coffee art to save his life, he knows more about coffee beans and pastries than your average Starbucks barista would due to hearing them talk about it around the house growing up
— is still passionate about football and on weekends, they volunteer at one of fenrir’s primary school, the one his niece goes to, as the coach of the girl’s football team
— used to date leyla polat, and along with her father, was one of the people who really rooted for her to step up and take charge of hel coven because of their views of magic and what she wanted for the coven. once she did, they followed her almost immediately, however, due to some folks badmouthing her and judging both of them, they’ve decided to end the relationship, not to hurt her rise as a high priestess. they’re still close friends and share a mutual admiration for one another.
𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 ⁝⁝⁝
anything and everything goes, but here are some suggestions:
›› childhood friends (( ;
›› college friends (( fenrir university — ;
›› ride or die (( ezrak gulen ;
›› close friends (( oh chung ae ;
›› exes that ended on good terms (( m/f/nb — nishant doshi ; leyla polat ;
›› exes that ended on bad terms (( m/f/nb — ;
›› on-again/off-again relationship (( m/f/nb — ;
›› hook-ups (( m/f/nb — margaux duchannes ;
›› coven members (( hel coven — leyla polat ; malee apinya ; roxanne alleyne ; zhyan suri ;
›› past coven members (( saga coven — helia vaz ; kadir duymaz ;
›› frenemies (( ;
›› neighbors (( fenway — ;
›› co-workers (( rue botanicals — ;
›› customers (( rue botanicals — ;
›› gym buddies (( ;
›› drinking buddies (( ;
›› hiking/outdoor activities buddies (( ;
𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ⁝⁝⁝
Kareem was born to Neesa and Amir Baksh, two well-known and cherished townsfolk, both within and outside the witch community. He'd always been deemed as miracle child, due the fact that his parents had been trying to conceive for a while, but with no success. He has two adoptive siblings, one older and the other younger than him.
To young Kareem, Fenrir's Wood was all there was in the world. It was tight-knit community with strong friendships they’d cultivated throughout the years, not to mention, a place that encouraged them to be the best one out there whenever he was in a football field. The crowd’s cheers have always been music to their ears and it was something they would never give up on. People knew who they were, they called out their name on the streets to say hello, kids their age befriended them with ease and life was perfectly fine as it was. Due to his parents’ influence in town, Kareem had always felt this sort of pressure to excel in everything, especially in school. They were the perfect ‘golden boy’ as some people would refer to them back then, because not only, they were great playing football, but they also excelled in school.
His family owns some businesses in town, including Coffeekanteen and one of Fenrir's Wood’s most popular shops: Rue Botanicals; a place that for the last forty years has been making bodycare products on demand, with a touch of magic on them to cater to each customer’s needs. And there, was where Kareem was brought up. They were taught how everything worked around the shop and even served costumers as a summer job, but their priority back then had always been football.
On their last year of secondary school, they were scouted to play for some teams across England. They chose to leave home and play for Leicester City's starting team, where they promised Kareem glory, fame and all of those fancy words that would make an ambitious teenager unable to say no to, and that would, hopefully make them grow and end up in their heart's team: Arsenal. It was all working out too well for them, no promises were broken on the team’s part, but during one of their games right at the end of that year’s football season, Kareem had a terrible accident that took them out of that year’s games and putting a serious question-mark on his promising career.
After learning that they wouldn’t be able to play football at his fullest anymore due to a serious lesion on their knee’s ligaments, Kareem fell into a depressive state, which brought them back home to Fenrir's Wood. It took him a lot of support from his friends and family, not to mention, psychological treatment to get back on their two feet. They went back to university, finding a home in their second passion: science. They studied and graduated suma cum laude in both Chemistry and Biology while also working for his family’s shop as a part-timer.
They now works as a chemist and is the current manager of Rue Botanicals. On slow days, they can be easily found sipping on a cup of coffee and eating a freshly baked good at Coffeekanteen, where one of his siblings works. His mother is currently the city's mayor, which sometimes bring some tension to his shoulders, in expectancy to be an exemplary progeny. Especially after leaving the Saga Coven and finding a new home in the Hel Coven due to pure affinity with the coven’s beliefs.
The change has rocked his relationship with his parents a little, but in the surface, Neesa and Amir act like it doesn’t bother them both. They also volunteers at the local primary school as the football coach of the girls’ team, which is where his niece goes to.
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The 5 Hd Sports Packages Every Bar Owner Should Have
Strengths: Inadequate results . that really are a few all varieties of high desires for this starting rotation in 2011, however the real reason why this team is in order to be succeed yr is its bullpen. Andrew Bailey and Brad Ziegler were great last season, and now added towards bunch are Brian Fuentes and Grant Balfour, which have had amazing seasons over the course of the past few years. Sure, these most likely moves which didn't pop up banner on the radar of this of the offseason, but you are big moves that should help the A's nail down more games late on.
Fighting takes place in major league clubhouses often, yet it rarely, if ever, hits the media in smaller market teams. Detroit last year had some blunders in last year's World Series, the biggest baseball stage in the world, yet less Tigers jerseys bought than Cubs jerseys, the actual story gets buried under the media muck and mire.
New York Yankees (28-23) - The actual York Yankees are the top scoring team in the American League; with 264 runs. The Yankees avoided the sweep at the hands among the Seattle Mariners with victory on Saturday. The Yankees are experiencing second area in the American League East; behind the Boston Red Sox. Curtis Granderson has been the key for New York, with a.282 batting average, 16 homeruns and 37 runs batted in. The Yankees pitching has been anchored via six wins from 3.C. Sabathia and a period under 5.
Shortstop: Despite the National League going for a talent rich class of shortstops this season, the American League still has plenty supply. New York's Derek Jeter (.343, 3 HR, 28 RBI) leads the voting by extra than 400,000 votes and is going to also not transform. Baltimore's Miguel Tejada (.317, 5 HR, 27 RBI) completes the Orioles great middle-infield, but his power numbers are not likely his career high of 34 home runs in 2002 and 2004. Carlos Guillen (.317, 6 HR, 37 RBI) has been rock solid for Detroit this season, but just went down with a groin strain, which hurts his chances if he misses a few games.
The Marlins have held their own recently contrary to the Phillies in mlb wagering. They had won 11 of the last 20 against Philadelphia before series rolling. They claimed two of three at Philadelphia the 2009 season. The Phillies are one of those teams in baseball which could play just like nicely along the road as at home so supply be overvalued at home. The previous five meetings between 2 teams went under fundamental before this series was created.
MLB tryouts are usually slated to begin at 9:00 AM, but hopefuls are asked to appear a 30 minutes early. When you get to the park, the primary order of business is completing a registration card. You'll find a number on this card, decided by your position; for example, pitchers may be numbered 101, 102, 103, etc. That number will be the you will be addressed and identified for the remainder of the ceremony.
Finally the Yankees are displayed on the list. 해외축구중계 is beginning to stagger a bit under the weight of the quantity of of good teams currently. They will possess the to spent the runs but are questionable typically the bull pencil. There are a involving question marks there understanding that is why sports bettors are backing off in it a bit, not to bring up the regarding manager Joe Torres. The fans loves to bet them and there are a bunch chance through the season to probably the most of this. Money lines from +460 to +700.
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saudade | kth. (m)
saudade ; “a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something/someone that one cares for and/or loves.”
➵ summary : a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it's time to find out why.
➵ pairing : idol!taehyung x choreographer!reader
➵ genre : angst, smut, fluff (the holy trinity), idol!au, established relationship!au
➵ rating : 18+
➵ word count : 16k
➵ warnings : sexual content, swearing, dom + sub dynamics, dom!tae, fingering, oral (f. receiving), lots of dirty talk, t e a s i n g because let’s face it this is tae, big dick!tae, cock sliding, marking, restraint (with his own hands), unprotected sex (wrap it up peeps), rough sex, mushy i miss you sex, lots of feels, tae undresses reader (it’s hot i promise), praising, name kink, slight body worshipping, slight brat-handling, forced orgasm, creampie, one spank, tiny impreg kink, aftercare
➵ a/n : wow, my first fic on tumblr!! i’m beyond excited to finally be sharing my stories and writing, hopefully i can let you escape into a whole new world and enjoy my works! comments and feedback are always appreciated <3
2:27AM.
He still wasn't home.
Texts on delivered, calls unanswered, radio silence on all social media.
And it wasn’t just tonight, it was every night.
Everyday.
And it’s been a month. A long, grueling month.
A month where he only acknowledged your presence just once and called it a day. A month where he returned so late and left early enough the following morning you didn't see him. Somedays, he never even came home at all. You made suggestions to hang out together, and he declined them on the premise of 'too busy'.
It hurt beyond comprehension.
It's like he wasn't even there.
But you knew he was.
He was the one who moved your sleeping body from the couch to your shared bed every night, a sweet gesture of his that gave you hope maybe everything wasn't so bad. Sometimes, though, you woke up on the same couch the next morning, knowing he most likely stayed the night elsewhere.
You tried to remain indifferent to the treatment, figuring he was just stressed with his tightly-packed schedule that didn't always include you.
But it was beginning to feel heart-breaking, disappointing, but most of all, so lonely. It was starting to feel like he was slipping away from you, like you were losing him, relationship tearing at the seams. It left you nothing but heartbroken and afraid. Afraid of where your relationship had gone, afraid of whatever happened to the never-ending love you two shared. You both harboured an array of feelings for one another that infinitely tethered you two together, kept you madly in love and nearly impossible to separate.
So where was that now? How could it have all changed within the span of a month?
You’ve survived comebacks with him before and he never entertained this kind of behaviour. Maybe you had a fight or two about someone cancelling on a plan or working too hard but nothing as excruciating as this.
Your relationship began to feel empty, so meaningless. And the more he was distant, the stronger the pain grew and your love seemed to be losing its vitality.
Why would he do this? What's gotten into him? Did I do something wrong? Why doesn't he care anymore? you asked yourself repeatedly for weeks.
You’d think work was the issue, where your relationship had to be purposefully low-profile and subdued. But ever since the inception of your relationship, Taehyung never found any of that difficult. If anything, he loved it the most. You could easily leave it to the 'forbidden’ or 'looked down upon' stigma of you two dating to make everything 100x hotter, more exciting, and fuck, did you and especially Taehyung enjoy fiddling around with the concept as if you were some modern-day remake of Romeo and Juliet.
The sneaking around, the thrill of moments only you two shared, the promises you kept, the secret kissing or displays of affection, your romantic status like classified information some were only privy to.
But you didn't have to worry about suddenly losing your 'Romeo', though, because Taehyung wasn't as stupid as he was (no offence, Shakespeare).
Taehyung remained business-like whenever he needed to be and tended to his work accordingly. He was always cautious of the consequences your relationship warranted, and worked hard to prove your love was worth it despite his chaotic life and the challenges everyone warned you of.
Taehyung has also always been mischievous, a little rebellious, someone who doesn't always like following whatever he's told; so this relationship was just his cup of tea, making it hard to believe he would grow tired of it considering his well-precedented admiration.
But now, you weren’t so sure.
Now he seemed practically devoid of the fact that you two were even dating. He didn’t naturally gravitate towards you anymore like before, instead increasingly gravitating away from you. He didn't linger around to catch a moment with you anymore, didn't come looking for you, didn't spark conversation whether it was important or not, even stopped looking at you as a whole. It seemed like being in your presence was something he avoided rather than just didn't do, like he wanted to fill his time elsewhere and sometimes… you swore it felt intentional.
As if he didn't want to be around you.
You sought communicating with him about everything, pinning all the blame on his mountain-high stress and how busy he was thinking you could help ease his mind; but he stayed firm on the notion he was just fine. You obviously knew something was up and wanted to confront him, but you feared pestering or nagging him, never wishing to add to his stress.
And you get that, you really do. He has this demanding, grandiose life that you should understand is incredibly stressful and time-consuming. But you're going to be honest... you fucking missed Kim Taehyung. A lot.
Granted, you saw him at work, even more so now with a comeback dawning on the group, but it wasn’t the same.
You missed being home with him. You missed the way his big arms cuddled you when you watched a movie together, you missed 'attempting' to cook dinner with him, you missed your snuggly mornings where he wouldn’t let you go until he laid at least a hundred kisses on you. You missed him tickling you when you least expected it, randomly playing any track of jazz or slow music, swaying you until he made you giggle and you missed him never forgetting to kiss your forehead whenever he parted from you, even if he had to be discreet where work was concerned.
The cute, couply things you missed, sure. But the one thing that consistently clouded your mind and bothered you nearly every second of everyday...
Sex.
That active as hell sex life you two had, you missed every damn detail about it and your body desperately yearned for its revival.
After a month's dryspell, you craved Taehyung so badly it wasn’t funny anymore. From all the times he eyed you suggestively, to the way his large, touchy hands ended up all over you, to the way he eventually laid you down, lost himself in his torturous but pleasurable teasing, maybe even tying you up or handcuffing you in the process, getting you dripping wet before he eventually fucked you just right simply out of his own desire.
Nope.
You can't do this, it only made you hornier than you already were and fuck, did anything you try on yourself not work at all. You were feeling greedy. Going from doing it nearly three times a week during quarantine lockdown with him to suddenly having gone a month sex-free left you losing your mind.
There used to be so much fire, so much love, so much passion between you two. It was intoxicating, so ardent that you could feel yourselves aching for each other in your bones. But now, all of that felt either non-existent or buried so deep underground you couldn't feel much of anything. And of course, the absence of sex and the cute stuff collectively sucked, sure. But what scared you the most were your own thoughts.
What if he's finally tired of you? What if he wants to focus on his career? What if he's found someone new, someone that isn’t staff, someone much easier and less burdensome than you..
You stopped.
A dark web of assumptions swarmed your head, all seeming completely plausible and welcoming a dull, daunting sadness to loom over you. Your chest constricted at the thought of your fickle importance to him, wincing at the possibility it could be true. You sat in silence in your lonely home, leaving you to ponder when the apartment began to feel so forlorn in the first place.
The photographs he took framed the walls, the old albums he owned littered your shelves and even one of the many jackets he owned was currently sprawled across your couch. You noticed the way his presence was so deeply rooted in the home, yet he felt as distant as ever.
You settled in on your couch, cradling his jacket at the thought of how much longer this would continue, forcing yourself to sleep in hopes of ridding the feeling of emptiness from your chest.
But you couldn't.
Your mind drowned struggling to sleep, giving up on shut-eye as a whole until eventually you began swimming, swimming through your emotions and one particular thought stood out to you; this wasn't fucking fair.
It just wasn't, none of this was. You can't let him continue this, can't remain on the fence about doing something and you certainly cannot just let this go. It was your duty as one of the active partners in this relationship to fight for its life, so that's exactly what you were going to do—with one conclusion you were convinced would work.
You should give him a taste of his own medicine.
You decided to be upset, ignore him and see how he reacts. Respond with the same curt responses, not give him the time of day, 'naturally' gravitate away from him. Hell, you could start tomorrow by waking up earlier than him and seeing how he responds to your empty side of bed for once.
That's if he even comes home tonight.
This seemed like the only sure-fire method of gaining his attention. Maybe if you acted unreasonably, far from how you usually do he would finally pay you any mind, have to approach and confront you. You’d always let him off the hook on the account of him being an idol, but now he’s taken it too far.
Your mind grew hazy somewhere in between thinking and shuffling on the couch, only the sight of a vacant apartment and the scent of his cologne lulling you to sleep.
You groaned as your eyes fluttered open, the reality of last night resurfacing as you remembered the impromptu plan for today, cursing how early you had to wake up to avoid him.
You lazily rubbed at your eyes as they landed on the clock on your bedside table, suddenly registering you were in a different room altogether. It was then you felt the softness of your pillow, the silk of your sheets, the familiarity of your room's walls coming into view—all of it blissful until you froze at the feeling of weight around your waist, a quick glance confirming it was an arm. It was then you felt your neck being fanned by hot breaths, your back flush against someone's bare chest and you felt your heart speed up.
Is he...?
Thinking you're getting ahead of yourself, you're proven just right when you turn around to a face you knew all too well.
Taehyung's soft figure rose and fell as he slept soundlessly next to you.
You instantly softened, in a bit of shock because he was right there, angelic as ever as he breathed calmly and cuddled your smaller figure into him.
He still held you to fall asleep, huh?
A smile found your face at the thought as you admired the details of his; thick, pretty lashes pressed against the skin underneath his eyes, his large, veiny hand tucked under his cheek as the other draped you, his pink, pillowy lips sealed together in an adorable pout. You shifted onto your side and nuzzled closer into him, listening to his rhythmic breathing and watching his broad chest rise and fall. You melted into his presence, soaking in all the glory that was Kim Taehyung.
You then remembered he was always here, he did give you his personal time; you just didn't see him. You knew he moved you at night, tucked you in, maybe kissed you goodnight. Maybe he had moments where he felt terrible for being away, whispered sweet apologies and promises into your ear.
But then again, you wouldn’t know, you didn't spend enough time together for you to know.
A sudden movement of his arm and that eerie thought snapped you back into reality, instantly scolding yourself for getting distracted by him. You had to focus on how you felt, hone in your emotions and refrain from doting on your precious boyfriend.
You wouldn't be able to ignore him later if you didn't start now.
You were forced to leave his warmth, having to ready yourself for today's rehearsals and resolving numerous things for however long this would continue; you needed Taehyung to feel what you've been feeling all this time, needed him to feel the absence of your presence just as you had felt his.
And you'll be damned if you were going to be easy about it.
A couple hours had passed as you stretched, yawning after revising a rehearsal video, the murmurs of staff keeping you awake. Stretching for what felt like the millionth time, you slightly jumped at the sound of the studio doors opening just before the scheduled time. You watched it mindfully, your heart speeding up at the thought of suddenly seeing Taehyung so soon.
Don’t let it be him first, don’t let it be him first, don’t let it be him first.
You calmed down once your eyes set on 5 of the members ambling in, watching them greet people until you eventually spotted Jimin and Taehyung trailing behind, thankfully too occupied with giggling to see you.
You rejoiced in the lack of eye contact until you decided to sneak a peek at Taehyung, mortified when you found his eyes suddenly locking with yours. The shock made you turn away instantly, swallowing what felt like your heart down your throat.
Your ears were welcomed to the boys making conversation, playfully teasing the 95's for apparently being late and in the midst you managed to shyly greet everyone... except Taehyung.
And this didn't go unnoticed by him, who already felt worried since he woke up to your cold, unoccupied side of the bed this morning. Taehyung instantly found it off-putting, since he usually knew your schedule and left him wondering what reason you had to disappear without informing him.
Curiosity flooded him as the thought continued to bug him, what did she have to do so early in the morning? His inquiries turned into actions when he began passing through the boys, immediately stepping towards you.
"Morning, Y/N. Everything alright?" Taehyung innocently reached for your shoulder once he settled beside you. You almost let him do it, making you reminiscent of when he actually gave a shit about you, but you remembered your little scheme and swiftly pulled away.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Taehyung immediately froze up, disbelief riddling his handsome features. You've never once rejected his touch so blatantly.
You would never do that, he thought.
Taehyung paused his hand at the point he would have touched you, tugging at his bottom lip uncomfortably before rubbing the back of his neck. You internally winced at the hurt you could see on his face through the studio mirrors, forcing yourself to stand your ground as he feebly spoke again.
"You don't seem fine. Why did you wake up so early this morning? You didn't tell me about it..." He scratched his neck awkwardly, a hint of a pout in his tone.
"I don't know, I just couldn't sleep. I don't need to tell you my every move, Taehyung." You responded curtly.
"I know..but you could've told me, Jagiya. We could've spent the morning together in the apartment if you were up so early." Taehyung looked at you in protest, lowering his voice so others couldn't hear.
The use of your pet name after a long time instantly ticked you off, even more so his proposal, he could say all that cute shit but couldn't act upon it?
Irritation nestled its way under your skin, causing you to whisper dryly, “Just get to stretching, Taehyung, we have a lot to go over today.”
His jaw clenched as he swallowed, a troubled expression painting his face. He managed a small 'okay' before he unwillingly stepped away.
Taehyung was beyond confused; something was wrong, seriously wrong. It wasn't just your harsh tone or icy aura, but even in the way you addressed him so plainly as Taehyung.
He didn't understand, he's seen you mad or annoyed before, but nothing along these lines and he couldn’t piece together the reason for your attitude. It seemed like nothing would ameliorate your mood either, leaving Taehyung cursing whatever evil thing was making you so upset.
Despite experiencing that bitter demeanour, however, Taehyung was forced to watch you act friendly with everyone else during practice.. except him.
And what was even worse, he watched you do so for the rest of the week. You had gone a whole week with your (what he found to be) ridiculous behaviour, everything about you so different with him he was left consumed with frustration.
He watched as you continued to treat everyone else the same, getting a little too close to them than he liked. It was something he noticed in the weeks previous to this, but now silently pissed him off even more because this time you decided to purposefully exclude him; and he hated it. You barely spoke or tended to him over the course of the week, Taehyung's envy blooming in his chest at the way you acted so close to everyone yet treated him, your boyfriend, like a stranger.
He didn't understand why he was the only one, you talked to Jimin about what he did on his days off, pretended to box with Jungkook, danced around with Yoongi and Hoseok and goofed around with Jin and Namjoon. Hell, he even found you socializing with other staff and dancers more than usual.
Taehyung couldn't fucking stand it, what in the world was wrong with you? Not only did he figure something was clearly wrong, but that he clearly did something wrong.
He was beyond confused, annoyed, but more so worried as to what was fuelling your actions. Taehyung didn't know what he did, and he couldn't manage not knowing anymore, most of all despising the feeling that he was suddenly losing you.
He quickly resolved after a gruesome week he wasn't letting you go after rehearsals tonight, giving a fat fuck you to his evening plans and trading them in for confronting you.
Your eyes stung from a week’s worth of waking up at the ass crack of dawn to avoid Taehyung, rubbing your eyes as you slung your purse over your shoulder to end another day at the studio. Thinking you were alone, you swiveled around to an empty room and surprisingly spotted Taehyung.
You jumped a little, not expecting him to still be here when you knew he had dinner plans tonight.
Did he cancel them?
Suddenly realizing this is the first time in over a month you’ve been in a room with him, alone, and especially after the week you've spent purposefully dodging him, anxiety flooded your chest.
Your eyes flittered around, nibbling on your lip awkwardly as you pretended he wasn't there. You eventually met his eyes and he returned your hesitant gaze with an intense one, nearly peering into your very soul. He remained unbothered with his hands tucked into his pockets, and now that you were finally viewing him, couldn't help but swoon over his look for the day.
He really chose to wear that damn grey hoodie with matching grey sweatpants that makes you weak, hair styled in the messy curls he's been sporting ever since his perm and wearing that one silver hoop earring you found incredibly hot.
He looked like a fluffy puppy but also a full-course meal crafted by God himself.
This isn't fucking fair at all.
He noticed you staring at him and his head cocked to the side, studying you with a hint of a smirk. He raised an eyebrow tauntingly, like he wouldn't let you go after trapping you in what felt like shackles around your ankles. You could only swallow dryly, averting your eyes and reminding yourself you had to get out of his trance
His power over you was immense, especially when he flipped his curly fringe from his eyes, examining you with such a fiere, unreadable expression you shifted nervously on your feet.
How is he so dominant when he's standing a whole 15 fucking feet away from you?
You watched a self-satisfying grin play onto Taehyung’s lips, loving the way you squirmed under his undivided attention until he suddenly began stepping in your direction, sheer panic overtaking you. You weren't ready, you didn't really think of the result of this plan and now that it's worked, you knew you were in trouble.
Taehyung is unpredictable as hell, you never knew what was running through his mind and which idea he’d pick to entertain. You malfunctioned at the thought and your flight response kicked in, making you step towards the door at light speed.
"I..uh.. I have to go." You stuttered and purposely ducked around him. You felt relieved once you passed his deep stare, until you felt his slender fingers suddenly grapple onto your wrist.
Shit.
"You're not going anywhere." His low voice reverberated in the room, sending currents through your body. You refused to look at him, knowing it would make you squeal, but you stabilized your voice to speak.
"I..", you swallowed, "don't think it's your place to say."
You felt his hold on your wrist tighten, knowing that pissed him off.
A small moment of silence passed and you thought he'd given up, relaxing until he suddenly yanked you towards him, your smaller figure crashing into his chest. He held you against his tall body as his eyes locked with your timid ones, forcing the confrontation of your obvious issue with him.
You took a stubborn step back instead of giving in, arms crossed. Taehyung had enough of you evading his look and gently lifted your chin with his index finger.
"My place? It's been a fucking week and you haven't even looked at me, Y/N. What is your problem?" He emphasized with annoyance, but his soft eyes gave away he was just desperate for an answer.
"Nothing's wrong, Taehyung, I'm just tired."
"Oh really? Tired? Y/N, don't think I didn't notice you ignore me for an entire week. I thought something was wrong in general but clearly you have a problem with me and only me. What's your deal?" He vented in frustration, tone utterly displeased.
You only scoffed disbelievingly, looking towards the ground in search of something to hold back your piled-high emotions.
Taehyung grew tired of your silence and sighed with dejection. He cupped your cheeks and looked at you seriously, "Look at me, bubs, what's so wrong? Did I do something?" the newfound frailty in his voice left you sucking in a breath of guilt.
You really wanted to voice how you felt, teetering on the possibility until you suddenly became aware you'd be requesting demands from one of the busiest people on Earth.
Your tongue habitually tied itself.
"It's just.. It's not important, Taehyung. Let me go." You abruptly turned out of his hold, locking your jaw tightly.
"Why in God's name would I let you go? Something's wrong, Jagiya, and that's always going to be important to me." Taehyung squeezed your arms affectionately, suddenly warming you to him.
You could instantly feel your emotions conflicting inside, flooding your chest with regret yet frustration so heavy you needed air. Your eyes were beginning to reveal your vulnerability, trying to blink away threatening tears.
"Taehyung, just let me go, it's absolutely nothing." Your voice sounded shakily unconvincing and yet, you were tugging yourself away as if he would believe you.
"It's not nothing, I can clearly see something wrong. Why won't you just tell me?"
"Because I don't want to tell you, Taehyung. It's really just nothing."
"You keep saying it's nothing but I can see it in your eyes, you're upset, Jagiya. I know you." Taehyung spoke matter-of-factly, his grip and tone growing desperate.
"I'm not upset, I'm just exhausted."
"Exhuasted..” Taehyung trailed, licking his lips. “Of course, because now you're waking up earlier than you usually do in the morning and on top of that without even fucking telling me why." His tone grew irritated as he scoffed, looking away from you.
You instantly grew annoyed.
"And I told you I don't need to tell you my every move, Kim. Why are you even so pissed about it?”
"Did you just.. family name me?" Taehyung narrowed his eyes
"So what if I did?" You deadpanned.
Taehyung let out a deep sigh.
"I’m pissed cause I got worried, okay? Not everyone has a situation like ours where anyone could do shit to you because of me, so I like knowing where you are." Taehyung stressed with a serious tone. "And listen, I’m not letting you go until you tell me what's wrong. I'm fucking serious, Jagi, you did not just ignore me all week only to tell me nothing's wrong."
"And I'm not gonna say anything. I'm fucking serious, Taehyung." You mimicked him, hoping he'd let you go.
Taehyung dragged his tongue along the inside of his cheek and chuckled dryly, your impossibility unbelievable to him. He pursed his lips before slowly releasing you, his hands up in mock surrender.
"Fine, you can leave then."
You took his words without a second thought and immediately turned for the door. You had just cracked it open before Taehyung’s hand suddenly smacked it shut from behind, making you turn around startled.
He abruptly pinned you against the door with the weight of his body, locking you in with both arms. He leveled himself to your height and peered directly into your eyes.
"And I told you, I'm not letting you go, Ms. Y/L/N." Taehyung now mimicked you as you felt him dominate you with a degree of alpha-male that left you entranced and unable to move. He drew himself closer to your face, so close that he granted no room for you to breathe. You could only stand in defeat, your doe eyes wide as you flashed them to his lips and back to his eyes.
Taehyung couldn't resist how much he wanted you anymore.
"I always forget how challenging you can be." He spoke in his deepest, sultriest tone, that damn bass paired with his dancing eyes causing you to bite your lip.
Taehyung watched you do so and grew hot, finding you irresistible when you were acting impossible yet became putty in his hands. You balled your hands into fists against his chest as he dangerously inched towards your neck, his proximity shooting arousal through your blood.
His scent was intoxicating, resurfacing the numerous thoughts you had of him in his absence. He manifested butterflies in your chest, knowing you had to resist him yet found yourself giving in.
He finally ducked into your neck, anticipating the connection of his lips until he only ghosted your skin. He breathed against you purposefully to elicit a reaction, gifted his desire when he felt your body lean into him and breath hitch.
You hated that you wanted him to kiss you already. You craved him so desperately, so in need of his touch that just the feeling of his body pushing you against the door was enough to make you press your thighs together.
And little did you know, a month and a week without you left Taehyung dying to devour you.
As if noticing you getting impatient, he pulled you towards him by your waist and his lips finally crashed onto your neck, a silent groan escaping you as his plush lips began mouthing sensually. You let out a breathy moan but gathered the courage to speak up, knowing full well the high creeping up on you and you needed to get back at him.
"Maybe if you were home more often you'd remember."
A small laugh escaped Taehyung, "So that's what this is about?" The sudden puff of his breath made you want to jump him. He deliberately pushed his hips into yours, shooting jolts throughout your core once you felt the familiar prodding of something hard. He began sliding one of his hands up and down your waist, almost in an effort to distract you.
"Of course it is, Tae. You're never fucking home." You spoke with vexation, growing both sexually and emotionally frustrated over the way he was pressing you up against the door and inviting a stirring feeling to constrict your insides. He brought his thigh in between your legs, slightly grinding against you as he added pressure to your heat and sucked your sweet spot.
"I'm never fucking home, huh? Who do you think moves you from the couch to our bed? Makes sure you're comfortable and tucks you in? Kisses you goodnight?" He asked rhetorically, letting his teeth bite at your supple flesh and embellish you with his favourite purple marks.
"T-that's not the point, Taehyung. I'm not awake. H-how does that count as you being home?" You retaliated as best you could, snaking your hands to grab the nape of his neck, fingers trailing into the curly ends of his hair. He groaned so audibly that you grew shamelessly hornier.
"Because I do come home. I sleep next to you in our bed, even cuddle you." He began sucking underneath your jaw, wrapping his arm around your torso to press you flush against him. He kissed down your throat trying to bite and leave more hickies, pushing you back for support.
"I-I just told you, that doesn't count, Tae. You... come home when I'm asleep and leave before I wake up. I-I never see you." You tried to maintain your composure, hands hugging his head close to you.
"But we already see each other here, don't we? You see me at practice, meetings, in the building... no?" He suddenly came off your neck and his hand flanked to your chin, advancing for a kiss. But immediate annoyance flooded you upon registering his words, pulling your face back.
"Are you kidding me? You count that as seeing each other? All we do is rehearse choreography and work together. How is that 'seeing' each other?" You asked, baffled at his audacity.
"Because we're at least together, aren't we? Isn't that all that matters?" Taehyung looked at you as if you were the ridiculous one, ignoring your concerns and trying to kiss you again. You immediately removed yourself from him and pushed him back, his hands letting you go.
"That's not the issue, Tae. The issue is that you're really busy and I get that, but we literally haven't done anything together in the last month. And the reason that sounds insane to me is because we work and live together, you'd expect that somewhere in that time we would’ve done something... but we haven't." You emphasized as you pled your case.
"Princess, we've been over this. I told you at the beginning of our comeback that our time together was gonna be limited. I remember you agreeing to that and understanding. Why is this coming up now?"
"So going an entire month neglecting your ‘princess' is what you meant? Your 'limited' seems more like 'nothing at all'.” You air quoted and crossed your arms, becoming annoyed with his ambiguity and sudden use of another pet name.
"Okay, that's not what I'm saying. All I'm saying is that comeback season is busy, it's one thing after another and I can't always keep up with everything. There’s a lot going on; our album, company business, don’t get me started on the mountain of work with promotions, concerts, filming and photoshoots. I'm even making an entire fucking mixtape. I’m trying my damn best here." Taehyung vouched for himself, holding his hands up to defend against your accusations.
"And I'm not saying you don't try, I understand that you're busy but what I’m saying is I don't even feel important to you anymore, let alone a priority. We barely interact, you never do anything with me or talk to me, but for everyone else you’ve got all the effort in the world to spare. I get that you're an idol, I always see you working hard and I'm proud of that. But you somehow make time for everything else.. why can't you just make some time for me?" You felt like you sounded selfish, almost faltering from revealing anymore but you felt so neglected it had to be said.
"Wh-what about you? Oh my God, Jagiya.. you're such a high priority to me. Trust me, you really don’t know what I'd do for us and you should know I’d damn well do or sacrifice anything. It may seem like I'm not right now but I promise it's not like that. You'll always be important to me, how could you think otherwise?" Taehyung was perplexed by your sudden outburst, never having known of these feelings before. He reached his hands out to you but you abruptly denied him, snapping at the question.
“Then what’s it ‘like’, exactly? Because it seems very much to me like you want nothing to do with our relationship.”
“No, that’s-that’s not it at all. Don’t worry about this, okay bubs? Overthinking this won’t do you any good, just trust me.”
“Trust you? You're not even answering my damn question, Taehyung, what is it then? Why aren’t you telling me? Are you fucking hiding something?” You began speculating, his repeated vagueness irking you.
“Jagi, no, just listen to me. Know that I mean it when I say you’re important to me, you’re the love of my life and you'll always be a priority. Why are you thinking like this? Where is all this coming from?” Taehyung asked incredulously, getting on your very last nerve.
"I don't fucking know, Taehyung, maybe because you ignore me for hours on end? Maybe because you leave me every morning without considering just waking up together? I know we can't make it obvious we live together, but we’ve always found a way before, what happened to that? Your texts and phone calls are so meaningless. You make time for your friends and other people but don't make any for me." Your eyes turned glassy, tears escaping as you recalled your terrible feelings over the last month.
"Do you know why you find me sleeping on the couch every night no matter how fucking uncomfortable it is? Because our bed literally smells like you and it constantly reminds me of you but you’re not even there. Do you know how many times I've wanted to talk to you but you're too distracted and I know you'd just push me away? Or how scared I am of bothering you? How many times I've wanted you to come home? How utterly empty and lonely the apartment feels without you even though everything about you is riddled all over it? You don't get it, Taehyung. You just don't fucking get it." You found yourself crying and clutched your chest where it felt like your heart was on display for Taehyung, the reality of everything hitting you like a 16-wheeler.
Taehyung did nothing but blink at you for several seconds, shocked at what he just heard. Were you seriously.. that upset? His absence was that prominent? It didn't even feel like a month to him, but it seems to you it felt like an eternity.
Taehyung unfortunately only knew his packed schedule and making sure he didn’t fall asleep where he shouldn't. A multitude of things ran through his mind on a daily basis with his chaotic life; discussing outfits with his stylist, trying to purchase that new serum his makeup artist always reminds him of, meeting with a producer to review freshly composed songs for his mixtape or finally going out for that one drink he always promised a friend or two—and he suddenly hated it all.
He especially began to loathe his demanding life when he saw the hurt on your face; the way your eyes glistened with pain, the loneliness in your voice, the way you tried physically holding yourself together. He couldn't fathom he was the cause of such pain, wincing at how utterly stupid he was for not noticing this earlier.
I really did do something to her.
He searched for anything to say, beginning to form words but quickly stopping himself from starting a sentence each time. He only examined your crumbling state and regretted not having talked to you sooner, but suddenly wishing you informed him about your feelings preemptively.
"I.. I thought you would've said something, Y/N, but you didn't. How am I supposed to know you feel this way if you don't tell me? You-you seemed okay to me." He inquired softly, tone riddled with guilt, but his words only made a disdainful scoff leave your lips.
"Told you? Taehyung, you have always made it clear that you're a busy person and I've always respected that. You also made clear the importance of this comeback and that I just had to understand how limited our time together would be. Of course I had to act okay. How could you expect me to come and beg you for your attention after you tell me not to seek it?"
Taehyung was taken aback, falling silent. You watched him angrily, finding it unbelievable he really had nothing to say for such a crucial argument.
"I was fucking embarrassed, Taehyung. I thought you'd get mad at me for hovering around you while you were busy and stressed. I didn't want to fucking suffocate you."
"What? Jagi, no, this is important. I wouldn't have reacted like that at all. If you were hurting this much you could've told me and I would've done something. You can always talk to me, how could you not know that?" Taehyung inquired with a hint of accusation and it was like every cell in your body had set off.
"Oh fuck you, Kim Taehyung. Don't give me that bullshit! Of course I know, but I also know that you just get caught up in your own world and your extravagant idol life and I don't wanna fucking bother you when you’re living it without me!"
"Y/N, don't. I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, can you watch your tone a little?" Taehyung asked with a frustrated timbre.
"You know what? I won't, Taehyung, let's fight. Only way to get your attention, isn't it?" Your feelings had reached its peak as you decided to egg him on.
"Don't do this, Y/N. I'm trying to have a civilized conversation."
"And I don't want a civilized conversation, it's only making you ask me stupid questions."
"They're not stupid questions. Can you not understand my side of this?"
"Nope, I won't because I don't care about your side, actually."
"The fuck? And you just expect me to understand your side when you won't even try to understand mine? I’m expected to know how you feel? Well news flash, Y/N, I can't exactly read minds.” He humorlessly tapped his head for effect, quipping at you harshly.
"I'm not asking you to read my mind, I'm just asking you to fucking pay attention for once in your goddamn life." You rolled your eyes dramatically, arms crossed tight as ever.
Taehyung noticeably grew angry at the remark, his eyes narrowing in irritation. "Do not tell me of all people I don't pay attention. You know I've changed over the years but how attentive I am hasn't. Don't ever say that to me again." Taehyung's stern voice warned you of the line you were crossing.
You immediately softened and turned your attitude down a notch, only by a margin since you knew he would never grow angry enough to do anything to you.
"Fine, you pay attention, but clearly not enough." You acquiesced, looking away from him.
Taehyung tried his best to reason now that he sensed you yielding. "Look, this is my first time hearing about this, okay? I had no clue, especially because you seemed and acted fine with me. Of course I'm going to tell you you should've just talked to me, I'm seriously not asking stupid questions."
"Well, I didn't want to talk to you."
"And how was that going to help you? It's only making us argue over something so easily fixable." He indirectly accused you and you returned your eyes to his, narrowing them at his audacity.
"Wow, easily fixable, huh? Do you really think it takes that little to earn my forgiveness after neglecting me for an entire month? Am I that easy to you?" You smiled to yourself miserably, turning away as tears spilled from you.
Your assumptions were correct, he really just thought of you as some easy pushover. Part of this was your fault, wasn't it? Being so quiet and passive about everything. You voluntarily let him get away with everything, let him slip away without a fight, and the frustration of that realization came washing down on you, hard.
"No, wait. That's not what I meant. I just meant that if you'd let me known earlier, we wouldn't be fighting like this." Taehyung instantly softened at your tears with regret, internally facepalming himself.
"I didn't want to openly tell you, okay? It makes me seem...like an attention-seeker, and I was so afraid of bothering you." You wore your heart on your sleeve as your voice wavered, more tears escaping as you attempted to blink them away.
Taehyung looked at you with overwhelming worry. His heart was beyond broken now, his desire to fix everything growing stronger with every tear that dared escape your eyes.
He needed to make this right, fast.
"It doesn't make you a fucking attention-seeker, Y/N. Stop being so worried about how you appear to me, I'm with you for a reason. I accept you in any way, especially after how much we fought for this, for us. Your feelings too, they're all fucking valid to me. I really would've done something if you’d just told me how you felt." Taehyung practically pleaded, his pouty lips and devastated eyes making it clear he just wanted to reach some sort of consensus with you.
"But that's the problem, Tae." You sniffled, wiping some tears. "You keep saying I should’ve told you, when you should've noticed on your own in the first place."
Taehyung felt like someone had slapped him across the face, his lips parting as a deep look of realization dawned on his gorgeous face. "I…" He trailed, but couldn't let words out. He was realizing how stupid he was, how unobservant and ignorant. He hated it all, hated that he was so busy, hated that he didn't pay enough attention and hated that he hurt you.
You gave up when his lack of words warranted a tense silence between you two, cut short when you hastily left the room. You walked in the direction of the parking lot angrily. You just needed some air, needed to go home and cleanse yourself of him for the time being.
You thought you were being quick enough, until you heard laboured footsteps and Taehyung's low voice echoing in the hallway, tailing you.
"Y/N! Wait, wait! Please, don’t walk away!" Taehyung practically begged as he rushed to your side.
"I'm not gonna wait for anything, I'm going home!"
"Stop! My manager's gonna take us home tonight, okay? We're gonna talk about this." He stated with solidarity as he grabbed your arm, eager to patch things up.
"No we're not, and I have my own car, I'm getting myself home." You snatched your arm from him and marched on.
"You can leave it here for fuck's sake, and I said stop. We're going home together and sorting this out because I can't leave you like this, okay? We need to fix this."
"Awh, all I'm getting from that is you'll finally be home for once!" You chirped sarcastically, never looking at him as you practically stomped away. You saw him falter from your side, knowing he had to have paused at the heft of your comment.
You both eventually made it through the building’s doors, you needing to be pretty much dragged into his manager’s car despite your vehement protest, stupidly shut into the back with him.
You were turned away putting on an Oscar’s worthy performance of pretending he wasn’t there, and Taehyung was left to canvas his numerous thoughts as the car drove.
He realized he had said nothing to your comment earlier because.. you were right.
When was the last time he sat in a car with you like this? The last time you were both home together? The last time you both lazily threw your things onto the floor once you arrived home and immediately smothered each other after holding back all day? The last time he held you in his arms while you two watched a trashy movie?
Holy fuck, when was the last time we had sex? Made love?
He could only think of memories from weeks ago in quarantine, nothing recent. His solemn gaze fell upon you as he thought. He could feel the prominent tension between you two, the gut-wrenching distance, leaving a black hole swallowing his heart. He felt no ease, no affection, no love.
When did it fucking become like this?
He was still struggling to stomach the fact that he hurt you. He watched you regretfully, tears pricking at his eyes as he saw you attempting to hold back your own.
He then felt the sudden need to hold you, to comfort you. You had been pulling away from him for so long that he wanted nothing but to feel his large, warm hand cradle your smaller, colder one. Reassure you that while he's stupid, he's still here.
Taehyung looked at you and leaned over, deciding to gently slide a reaffirming hand atop yours, gripping your fingers with all the love and warmth he could muster.
He expected you to reject him, nearly giving up on a reaction until he felt your tentative hand just barely grab his back. Surprised, he took a relaxed breath.
I'm going to fix this.
Taehyung shut the door as you two sauntered into your apartment and you disregarded your things, heading straight for your room. You thought it would make Taehyung leave you alone, but he caught your hand as you began stepping away. He didn’t yank you; simply held your wrist, still and remorseful with your back to him.
A long pause passed as he stood in place, silence piercing the air until you spoke coldly, "What do you want?"
“I’m sorry.” Was all he could manage, his once powerful voice so incredibly small.
You searched for a response, the air becoming somewhat suffocating as you sighed. “I know.”
“No, you don’t. Jagiya, I mean it. I mean it with everything I have. I'm so sorry” Taehyung insisted with meaning, like he was seconds away from falling apart if you didn't believe him.
You could hear the sincerity in his words and you could feel how heartbroken he was, but your exhaustion amassed with all the emotions that had been attacking you all week were discouraging you from participating in any conversation right now.
“You may mean it, but that’s not fixing anything, Taehyung. You really don’t know how it felt to have you ignore me. To see you unaffected by our time apart. It felt like you were pushing me away, like I wasn’t worth your fucking time anymore.”
“That’s wrong, Jagiya. You are always worth my time.”
“Then maybe you’re just a contradictive jerk, Taehyung, I don’t know!” You threw your hands up as you broke his hold, turning around vexed.
"Because one day you're telling me to basically fuck off because you're too busy but the next you're saying I'm worth all your time? Where the fuck was that the last month then? All you had to do was spare me a couple hours a week, just a couple. I wasn't even asking for much, you could've made the time!"
“I'm sorry, okay! I’m a jerk, I get it, but I had a reason! I have a fucking reason but right now I want to apologize and say I'm sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel like that, I’m sorry I neglected you and made you feel alone, I never intended that!” Taehyung sincerely implored, eyes worried and persistent as he reached for you.
“Then what did you intend? Saying sorry after the fact does nothing. If you didn’t intend to hurt me then what did you intend to do?!” You shouted, evading his touch again.
“I was doing it for you! The reason was all for you, for us!”
You couldn’t help but laugh as anger seeped into your blood, unbelieving of whatever excuses you thought he was making up.
“For me? Us? Really? Wow, did you suddenly quit your job as an idol to become comedian of the fucking year?” You quipped venomously. "How the fuck is you ignoring me for a month 'for our relationship'?"
Taehyung was trying hard to calm himself down, thinking twice about how he was going to handle this. "Y/N, please, just try to trust me on this."
You scoffed disbelievingly, shaking your head as you quickly made your way further into the apartment and over to your TV. Taehyung's eyebrows furrowed as he watched you reach towards the shelf underneath it. It was adorned with cherished photos of the people you both held most dear; family, friends, the boys. Most of them consisted of Taehyung entertaining his love for photography, having snapped stunning photos of scenery, people or a combination of both he adored enough to frame.
But many were of you two, either in front of gorgeous landscapes or adorable candids. You picked up a photograph of you two in Daegu—Taehyung's big arms enveloping yours from behind as you hooked onto them, all smiles in front of his family's strawberry farm after his camera’s timer snapped the photo.
“See this? This is something you did for us, you told me you only take and frame photos of the most beautiful moments in your life, and you gave this to me telling me it was your favourite moment.” You placed the frame down, opting to grab the gray Sherpa blanket off the couch in front of you.
“This? You got this for me after I was diagnosed with anemia during Christmas and had been shivering for months. You told me not to worry because you’d always keep me warm and whenever you weren’t there I could use this blanket instead, think of it as you. You did that for me.” You disregarded the blanket and held up your wrist.
“This bracelet? You got it for our anniversary and made it our equivalent of promise rings because you know I hate rings. You even made sure your bracelet matched in a way that other people wouldn't notice and was only special to us." You watched as Taehyung slightly lifted his left hand to look at the mentioned bracelet. "You did that for me, for us.” Tears were brimming your eyes as you spoke, voice growing shaky.
“Taehyung, you did all those sweet and thoughtful things for us, for me. Those are the kinds of things you should be doing, not fucking hurting me by acting like I don't matter to you, making me question everything. What’s wrong with you? How could you scare me like that? Treat me like I’m nothing and say it’s for our relationship?”
“You're not, you're not nothing." Taehyung's voice caught in his throat, trying hard to dry his glassy eyes.
"I get it, Y/N. I fucking get it, what I’m doing right now may not seem as sweet as all those other things, but I promise it’s as thoughtful, it's still all for you. I’m serious when I say that, this is all because I love you. Why can’t you just believe me?”
"And why can’t you just say what it is? Why won't you tell me? Are you hiding something? Taehyung, what you did felt like anything but love-"
"That’s not true. The reason is insignificant right now because I didn't mean to hurt you, I’m so fucking sorry.” Taehyung's voice shook with genuity, trying once again to approach you, gingerly, affectionately.
Your anger couldn’t subside with the way he kept side-tracking, however, your emotions growing erratic again. "Are you kidding me? Insignificant? The reason is the most important! Just tell me, why did you ignore me for an entire fucking month?!”
"I said it's not fucking important right now. I want to apologize first, I didn’t mean to do it!" Taehyung was desperate to reason, eyes begging you to believe him.
“It is important! Tell me what you’re hiding.”
“It’s not important.”
“Yes it is!”
“No it isn’t!”
“Yes it is!”
“No it isn’t! I'm trying to earn your forgiveness firs-Y/N, what are you.." Taehyung’s eye widened in shock.
He couldn't finish his sentence because he watched you grab a cushion from the couch and suddenly launch it in his direction.
"What the fuck? What are you doing?!” Taehyung exclaimed as he dodged, his large hands instinctively catching the object, looking at you like a confused puppy. “Did you just throw that at me?!”
“I did! And I'll do it again until you tell me what you’re hiding!” You challenged him like a child and started reaching for throwable things. Pens, notepads, books, even a stray plastic water bottle all went hurtling towards Taehyung.
You couldn’t stop throwing out of frustration, his unfair gift of ambidextrous hands and incredible catching skills making you even more frustrated.
Did he really have to be made so fucking perfect?
He continued defending himself from your attacks until he grew annoyed, “For the love of God, Y/N, stop throwing shit! Just put everything down and listen to me, you have to trust me before I can even explain myself!” Taehyung shouted more so with concern for you, dodging a bottle of vitamins.
Now why the fuck was that just lying around?
You snorted condescendingly, "Again with that, trust you?" You mocked as the TV remote came into your hand.
"You know what, Taehyung? Let me explain for you, you’ve just found someone new who's not fucking staff, haven’t you? Our relationship got too difficult and you’ve finally had enough. You’re hiding shit to save my feelings, aren’t you?” You accused him much to your dismay, angry tears pooling in your eyes.
"What-no! Fuck no I would never do or think any of that!" Taehyung vehemently denied, finally having reached you and wrestled you for the remote. He eventually pried it out of your hands, throwing it away and holding your wrists as you resisted him.
"It’s none of that, alright? I was just so damn stressed and I had way too much work. There’s so much going on, it fucks with me and I didn't want to make you my fucking mental care, unload my idol life crap onto you. You're working just as hard and I didn't want to burden you.” Taehyung desperately revealed trying to reach you, upset that you could even think such ridiculous, lowly things of him.
"Don't you dare use work as an excuse. I know you were busy and stressed, but you were making time for everyone else in your life except me. Just say it, Tae. I know you're tired of us!"
"Fucking-Y/N, it's literally not that at all. I was actually busy, okay? What I said is true!" Taehyung pleaded, he knew he was only telling part of the truth, but it wasn't exactly a lie.
"It can't just be that, there's no way. What are you hiding from me? I'm serious, I'll leave this conversation if you don't, I'll leave this apartment if you don't-”
"No! Just-alright! You really wanna know so badly?” Taehyung inquired rhetorically, his jaw locking. “Fine then. You fucking got found out.”
You stopped fighting him and blinked, confusion riddling all your features. Taehyung sighed deeply and continued before you could say anything.
“We got too comfortable, okay? I'm still an idol and our team heard a shit ton of rumours spreading outside the company about me dating someone. They controlled most and knew any remaining ones would just turn into baseless gossip since nobody knew your identity. I’d just get talked about which I didn't care about. But people somehow started finding your face, your name, and your information was spreading fast. Management was scared you'd be made public especially with reporters and cameras so up our asses these days and watching us. I was terrified when they told me. I couldn't let anyone know you, not when they’d do or say shit to you just because we're together… so I had to do something."
Now it was your turn to stand in shock for several seconds, utterly wide-eyed at the bullet you didn't even know Taehyung was keeping from you.
“What-what the fuck? What do you mean? When did this happen?"
"The same time I started 'ignoring' you. Nobody pressured me to break up with you, but I was warned to dissolve the rumours asap. I took matters into my own hands by acting the way I did to get people thinking we were either broken up or never dating in the first place. I hated doing it.. but it started working. I didn't want to tell you anything because I knew you'd just say we could solve everything together when we weren't in a position to do so." Taehyung wasn't hiding his clear anguish, upset having to recall his awful memories of the ordeal.
You were still shocked at how little you knew, finding yourself at least understanding of his actions and reasoning, but crossed your mind better ways to have dealt with this; especially ones that didn't entail hurting you.
"But Taehyung, you should've let me known. If you had just told me I wouldn't have gotten hurt like this. Why would you keep this from me?"
"I just.. I couldn't tell you. It felt like I was breaking up with you and I couldn't handle it. Even when I finally had the balls to do it I ended up prolonging because I just got so busy and pushed everything away to focus. I felt like I could deal with it on my own, fix it all by myself. I didn't want to drop this on you when you were busy too."
You exhaled harshly, hating how unfair this entire situation was. "You could’ve told me with something like this, Taehyung. I can't just let you carry the burden all on your own, this entire problem had to do with me. We promised we wouldn’t keep shit from each other especially considering the circumstances of our relationship. Why would you break that promise?" Your eyes welled up again, inhaling painfully.
Taehyung paused, scoffing humorlessly. "Yeah? I broke that promise? Jagi...you broke that promise too."
You blinked again, his eyes piercing yours poignantly as you could only look back at him in defeat.
He was right.
He was entirely right, you hid your feelings from him and never told him anything, a clear violation of that promise on your end. But you couldn't let his wrongdoings go either, not on this; the hurt, the doubt, the thoughts he made you think. That pain was making you fall apart and the reality of it all came crashing down on you. "An apology still can’t fix this, Taehyung. I want to go to bed, we'll talk about this tomorrow.”
You pulled away and moved towards your room until Taehyung rushed in front of you, grabbing onto your arms.
“Wait! This isn’t over, baby please, just listen to me.”
“It is for today, Taehyung. I can't do this right now.”
“No, I don’t want tomorrow. I want this now, I want to talk to you now.” Taehyung insisted with what seemed like his entire being. He didn't want to spend tonight like this; he didn't want you to sleep upset, and neither did he.
“Taehyung, you’re making me repeat myself. Let me go, please. I’m exhausted.” You choked on your words, swiping your tears.
“No, I told you I’m not fucking letting you go, especially not now.” He gripped you stubbornly, searching for your eyes.
“Taehyung, for the love of God just let me go-”
“I said no!” Taehyung's volume suddenly pierced the room, his intense aura stilling you.
He didn't sound angry. rather in need, like he was calling out to you with his entire heart and the tight hold on your arms gave it all away.
You finally decided to pay attention to him. His tone beyond serious, his eyes swimming with worry. His miserable face and refusal to let you go regrettably softened you. You understood him, saw the desperation and concern behind all his actions.
But he chose to neglect you. He made you feel alone, made you overthink numerous possibilities about your relationship and even question his feelings for you.
"You.." You exhaled with agony, swallowing hard.
None of this was easy, the nights you spent curled up on the couch overthinking, lying to everyone that you were okay, working in the studio alone to get him off your mind, blaming yourself. The accumulated pain of all those days now manifested in your chest all at once, making your heart ache.
"You made me feel like I wasn't important to you, like I wasn't worth your time. I.. thought you found someone better, easier.. that I wasn't enough for you." Your voice crumbled by the second, your mind jumping to the one conclusion you tried to avoid the most but couldn't any longer.
"I thought you weren't in love with me anymore."
Taehyung's heart shattered into a million pieces, overwhelming hurt piercing his chest so violently that tears instantly betrayed his eyes.
He couldn't bear any of this anymore, the tension, the distance, couldn't bear that you ever thought such an awful thing. Small tears escaped him as he gently placed his hands on your face, looking into your eyes with insurmountable pain before colliding his lips with yours.
He kissed you tenderly, passionately, like his mouth was dying to express how much he'd missed you, and trying harder to prove how utterly wrong your last words were. Before you could even reject him, you found your own lips mirroring the same longing, the same need after a painful month apart.
Your eyes fluttered shut as tears stained your cheeks, the sheer love you could feel in his kiss suddenly brightening any parts inside you that had grown dark because of him. He began working against your mouth hungrily, trying to commit every inch of your lips to his memory.
The kiss was fervent, utterly desperate, your harsh breaths mingling together as his hands on your cheeks wiped your tears away gingerly and yours clutched his hoodie tightly.
It's like he was consuming all of you, attempting to deepen the kiss with every second that passed by as he pulled you closer. And for once this past month, you didn't feel like questioning his feelings for you, because he was now serving them on a silver platter, making it blatantly obvious he had never once lost his love for you and will never do so.
He kissed you like he wanted you and only you, he kissed you like you were fleeting and could disappear at any moment, he kissed you like you were his home, like you meant any and everything to him, like you were the only galaxy he believed in and it did nothing but set you both ablaze.
His tongue swiped your bottom lip impatiently, wanting to taste you after so long and you permitted absent-mindedly, damning every emotion except love and lust to hell, welcoming him.
His tongue entangled with yours sloppily as you slid your hands up his sculpted neck, a soft groan escaping Taehyung's lips once you tugged his hair.
It wasn't until Taehyung caught your bottom lip between his teeth that you felt something ignite inside you. You both panted as you disconnected, gazing at his dark eyes for a mere second before impatiently crashing your mouth onto his again.
This time you caught him for a heated make out session, pulling his hair aimlessly as Taehyung pressed you against him with his arms snaking around your waist, both of you moving perfectly in sync with one other. The feeling of your bodies so close ignited your arousals, currents running through both your veins.
Taehyung pushed you back against the nearest wall, hard. You nearly yelped at the contact but Taehyung swallowed it with his eager kisses, getting rougher, sloppier, growing high off the feeling of you wanting more, him wanting so much more.
He brought his thigh in between you, pushing his hips against yours and you felt his hardness through his sweatpants. Your panties practically soaked at the contact, your moans devastatingly loud and hot and only making Taehyung harder.
He brought his hands down to cup your ass momentarily as he kissed you, sliding them to the back of your thighs. You kicked yourself off the ground into his hold, legs grappling Taehyung's waist as he forced you back up against the wall. Your hands grabbed his jaw tightly, wanting all of him as your tongues moulded together.
Taehyung felt his urges to touch you overwhelm him, utterly dying to hear you desperately say his name and moan breathlessly into his ear. He had gone too long, far too long without feeling you lose yourself to him that he needed you now.
One of Taehyung's impatient hands moved up to fumble with the button of your jeans, disconneting to look into your eyes, his pink, swollen lips irresistible.
"Have you been touching yourself?" He breathed hard and asked mere centimeters your mouth, forehead leaning on yours.
"B-barely. I couldn't get myself off the same way." You exhaled harshly trying to calm down, mind woozy from the sheer adrenaline he was pumping through you. "You?"
"Tried, but nothing felt like you."
Taehyung returned his lips to yours breathlessly and unzipped roughly, sliding his hand inside and finding your already sopping wet heat. His fingers made contact through the soaked material and you let out a satisfied moan, throwing your head back against the wall. Taehyung chuckled proudly, pressing his lips to your exposed neck as he began lewdly rubbing your folds.
Your walls clenched around nothing, begging for something to fill you up. You shamelessly rode against his fingers, desperate for more friction and Taehyung absolutely adored how needy you were.
He smirked to himself as he pushed your underwear aside, his fingertips suddenly touching your bare pussy and you automatically felt sparks, gasping.
Taehyung felt your delicious wetness and a satisfied groan left his lips. He couldn’t stop rubbing you, playing with your folds like it was a game he mastered ages ago. His digits spread you all over yourself, teasing you. He purposefully brushed over your clit multiple times and you felt nothing but fireworks, the heat between your legs growing so hot you clutched onto his shoulders to stay sane.
"Fuck.. Taehyung fuck! If you go inside.. I can't.. I'll fucking lose it." You stammered out, trying to relax but Taehyung eyed your panting figure with a smirk so evil you wished he'd just fuck you against this wall right now.
Taehyung brought his lips to your ear and spoke lowly, the bass in his voice sending chills down your spine.
"Then fucking lose it."
Without warning, Taehyung shoved his two fingers inside you, a smug grin decorating his gorgeous face as he watched you nearly cry out, gripping harder into his hair and shoulder for dear life. His fingers began sliding in and out, your walls welcoming him greedily as he pumped you, milking out every beautiful sound you could make for him as he relished in them.
Taehyung was already the hardest man on Earth, his cock painfully tucked away in his pants and aching to be inside you. You brought your forehead against his for support as he went harder, your breaths melding as you panted fucked out moans from the sheer bliss of his long fingers, just something of his dragging inside you.
Your body moved up against the rougher thrusts of his fingers, practically fucking you open and the delectable sting certifying you’d lost it for Kim Taehyung.
You suddenly felt your insides beginning to stir around him and you panicked, not wanting to let go just yet, just on his fingers.
"T-Taehyung.. shit.. I can feel but- but not just on this." Your head was so gone a coherent sentence seemed impossible. Taehyung's fingers curled up inside you as he pumped a little harder, faster, making you whimper against his mouth and he used every ounce of strength he had not to swallow them with kisses, just so he could hear you.
"Taehyung, please.." You moaned loudly and held onto him so desperately that Taehyung finally snapped, his dick throbbing to have you wrapped around him and hear his name just like that.
"Fuck this." Taehyung pulled his fingers out and carried you straight into your room.
He threw you down onto the bed hurriedly, his eyes blown out as he positioned himself above you. You breathed unevenly as you looked up at him, his body rising and falling quickly as he tried to control himself and his hungry look made you push your thighs together.
The sight of your flushed cheeks and panting body underneath him made Taehyung's dominant side thrive. He drank you in greedily, registering this as the first time in a month he had you all to himself.
"You don't fucking know, Y/N. All those times I had to hold back. When you walked around the studio looking sexy as hell, moving your body like pure sin, and I couldn't do a single thing to you." Taehyung's dark eyes indicated something had awakened inside him.
"What do you mean?"
Taehyung scoffed, "You just don't get it." He mimicked you from earlier. “I was putting on a front and none of it was true. Every fucking time I saw you I wanted to lose it. Every time I saw you concentrating with that look, working, seeing your exposed skin, all the times I caught you practically eye-fucking me and I wanted to eye-fuck you back." Taehyung breathed out, voicing his pent up tension.
"But you know what was worse? The times I saw you laughing with fucking Jungkook, screwing around with Jin-hyung, the guys acting so close with you. Watching back-up dancers eye-fuck you, hearing all their fucking comments about how hot you are, people asking if you’re single now, and I couldn't do shit because everyone was always around, watching." Taehyung breathed frustratedly, dangerous eyes locked on you.
"You know I don't get openly jealous, but my blood still boils under my skin when I see or hear those things, especially when I can’t do anything about it. I wanted you.. so badly, just wanted to take you right there in front of everyone if I could.." Taehyung nearly growled as his head hung low, entangling his hands with yours and squeezing them on the bed.
"Then why didn't you?"
Taehyung's eyes flashed up amusedly, "Why didn’t-you wanted me to do something in front of everyone?” His confusion softened into a little smirk.
“You wanted to be watched, huh?" Taehyung lowered himself to your ear. "Wanted everyone see the way I fuck you? See the way I make you mine? Fuck you open for me?” Taehyung was setting your core on fire and you had to bite your lip.
He noticed and hated that his lips weren't on yours, quickly planting them for a kiss.
The weight of Taehyung's leg pushing against your throbbing heat started compromising your sense of control, wanting to rile him up so bad he'll have no choice but to give you what you want.
"Fuck, this is what I've been waiting for. Teasing you under me, cumming just from my fingers and tongue, fucking you senseless until you’re cumming again." Taehyung's words were filthy as ever and you loved every syllable.
"Then do it."
He smiled smugly as his mouth moved to the one spot on your neck he knew leaves you squirming. Curses left your mouth the second you felt his teeth, Taehyung adamant on leaving deep, purple marks.
“I'm gonna show everyone you're mine, only mine.” Taehyung’s authoritative voice came out breathy as he kissed and bit in between, obsessed with seeing the art he was creating.
"Shit… Taehyung yes, I missed you, I missed you so fucking much." You desperately stammered out.
"I fucking missed you too, baby." He smiled, his dark eyes glancing from your zip-up sweater and back to you. "But first, off."
Your hands moved for the zipper until Taehyung caught your wrists and forced them back against the bed, obsidian eyes scolding you.
"That's my job." Taehyung spoke dominantly, hot as fuck as he stared at you while bringing his mouth down to your zipper.
His teeth caught it and slowly zipped down your body, pronouncedly breathing against your bare skin that made you hiss, arching up into him as he held your hands down.
Taehyung was welcomed by your bra-cladded chest, basking in the glory of seeing your body after so long. He began laying kisses in between your breasts, his every contact electric.
"Taehyung, please.. don't tease. It’s been so long."
"We'll see about that."
He reached a hand underneath your back to unclip your bra, practically ripping the clothes off you and chucking them.
Taehyung was heating up drinking you in, cursing at how even the sight of your naked top was making him somehow harder.
"Shit, Jagi. You're so fucking gorgeous." Taehyung stated with haste as his large hands found your thighs that rested either side of his hips. He then slowly slid them up your abdomen, cupping your breasts and fingering your nipples. Your hands reached out to hold onto him as you exclaimed but he roughly pinned them above you, restricting you.
He lowered himself to your chest for hickeys, kissing, licking, nibbling the flesh of your boobs. You arched and groaned as he held you down, sexually frustrated as he torturously teased you.
"Taehyung, please… you know what I want." You breathed out, your hands resisting but he kept denying you.
"You’re so fucking hot like this, so impatient and needy for me." Taehyung groaned, lapping his tongue over the flesh of your breasts until the tip of his tongue finally glided over your perched nipple.
You gasped at the contact, whimpering as your walls clenched around something non-existent and you bucked up into Taehyung. You could feel heat pooling at your core, begging to be battered as he sucked on your nipples, tongue doing wonders.
Marks now embellished your chest as he kissed down to your stomach affectionately and neared your lower half, exciting your opening.
Your eyes darted down and suddenly caught his length, poking out from his sweatpants and practically begging for attention.
He instantly took notice.
"No, princess. It’s about you tonight, not me, no touching." Taehyung ordered seriously, looking at you with a sense of dominance that only left you more aroused.
You made a whiny noise, "Why not? I want to make you feel good." You retorted, wiggling your hand out to touch him until Taehyung locked you down harder.
He clicked his tongue as he began pulling your pants and panties down your legs with one hand, his dark eyes chastising you, "We'll get to me another day." He disregarded them and let his hand feel up your thighs, bringing his face to your entrance.
"But right now, having you like this, begging-” he nipped at your inner thigh, “making those sounds-” he licked the marks, “wet as hell for me-” he sucked your flesh, “that's all I need." His tone dropped an octave, letting your wrists go and nearing your cunt inch by inch.
"Taehyung, fuck-don't do this. Please, it's been too long, don't tease.." You pleaded, hating the way he was shamelessly working you up.
"Do you need me, baby?" Taehyung watched your breath hitch as he kissed around your nether lips. "Need to feel me inside you? Stretch you out? Fuck the shit out of you?" His low, dark tone made butterflies fill your abdomen and all you could manage was a light nod.
"Tell me, Jagiya. Tell me what you want from me, where you want me.." Taehyung breathed against your soaked pussy and you shivered, beyond impatient.
"Y-your tongue, your cock, Taehyung, you. Please..I can’t do this.. just fuck me, make me come all over you.." You rambled and looked at Taehyung through hooded eyes. You grabbed one of his hands and brought him directly to your dripping heat, rubbing him against your slit unforgivingly.
Taehyung groaned proudly, "Good girl. I'll fuck you so good you’ll feel me for hours, so hard I’ll have to carry you to rehearsals myself." Taehyung's filthy words rang in your ears.
A loud moan escaped you once Taehyung's pillowy lips and tongue pressed onto your pussy, your breath hitching as his muscle began licking into your folds. Taehyung hooked onto your thighs from underneath, parting your legs wider for him. Your hands found his broad shoulders for support and you tugged at his hoodie frantically, whining.
"Taehyung, off.."
Taehyung drew away from you to slide his top off. He threw the sweater mindlessly as he returned, deciding to sink two fingers inside you as his tongue began licking. His newly exposed skin made you feel more aroused, tugging his soft curls to manage the bliss he was supplying you.
His tongue licked you like he was starving, sucking and flicking your clit occasionally as his fingers curled up inside your velvety walls. You felt like crying, after such a long time the pleasure was already building up inside you and so intense you needed to let go.
"Taehyung-Tae.. I feel it. Don't stop..." You moaned weakly, your orgasm dawning on you as Taehyung quickened his pace. His dark eyes watched you through his fluffy fringe and it was intoxicating, had you throwing your head back against the pillow just to contain yourself.
"Come for me baby, come all over my tongue and fingers. I wanna hear you.” Taehyung cooed at you as he pumped and the tip of his tongue played with your clit faster, soothing your thigh and adoring the wet mess in between you. Your loud moans and groans sent shivers down Taehyung's spine and blood straight to his cock.
The familiar sensation of something coiling came to you, gripping Taehyung's hair until you saw stars and felt a fierce snap, the unholiest of noises leaving you as your back arched. You panted hard, bringing an arm up to shield your eyes, the pleasure of your high dizzying as Taehyung watched you, tasting and fingering out your orgasm.
He kissed your entrance multiple times before he decided he was done. He straightened himself up and wiped your juices off his chin, licking your essence off him. Feeling you come undone on his mouth made him go feral, needing to feel your walls hug his cock just the same.
He positioned himself above you, gently moving your arm from your face.
"Don't hide from me." he spoke softly, intertwining his hands with yours against the pillow to adore your fucked out expression.
You admired him innocently in the moment, his honey-coloured skin kissed by the moonlight radiating through the windows. The expanse of his broad chest and shoulders looking more bulky now that he was working out, his thick neck, the beautifully visible veins in his arms that all created the art that was Kim Taehyung.
Your eyes scanned over him greedily until you landed on his lower half, the tent in his pants looking so painful you again ached to relieve it.
Taehyung eyed you as you licked your lips, boldly reaching out for his dick. You touched sparingly, Taehyung instantly letting out a pleasurable groan until he caught your hand.
"What did I say? You never fucking listen, do you?" Taehyung brat-handled you, his alpha male on full display.
“What if I don’t want to listen?” You disobeyed and reached out again, gaining full contact until he grabbed and forced your hand against the sheets.
“I’ll make you regret that."
Taehyung quickly shuffled his pants and boxers down and past his hips, disregarding them and leaving him bare before you.
Your eyes began ogling the angry, red tipped cock that had sprung out, looking painfully uncomfortable and leaving you wishing Taehyung had just fucked your mouth just watch him suffer. He was already leaking precum, making you whimper at the thought of him coming inside you.
Taehyung positioned himself in between your legs, bringing his dick to your entrance. He tried to bite away a mischievous grin before sliding his cock against your folds to mix your wetness with his.
"Shit, Jagi, you're so fucking wet." Taehyung moaned with you at the pleasurable feeling.
"Fuck, Taehyung…I can’t, I need.. inside." Your sentence was mangled, his hot flesh against you heavenly.
"Shit, saying my name like that..I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll feel me in your throat." Taehyung growled, gripping the base of his cock and aligning himself with your entrance. You readied yourself until Taehyung stopped, a thought suddenly popping into his head.
"Wait, you got your shot this month, right? You're okay with raw?" He asked with no particular haste, concern glossing over his eyes.
Taehyung's chest suddenly tightened realizing he didn't even know something as simple as you getting your shot, important to him since your phobia of needles was so bad you usually needed to hold his hand or talk to him on the phone.
But he was so busy this month he couldn't do either.
"Of course, Taehyung, of course I did." You breathed out erratically, trying to calm down after his tormenting cock sliding. You gave his hand that held yours against the bed a squeeze, wishing he would begin battering your insides already.
"Fuck, I know how much you're afraid of needles.. I should've been there." Taehyung became disappointed in himself, eyes faltering from yours.
You immediately grew soft, "Taehyung.. it's okay, if it's for you then I'm not so scared. Don't worry, bubs." You said as you let go of his hands to cup his cheeks, searching for his eyes.
"But you get them just for me..even though you're so scared. I love you for that." Taehyung doted on you as he tucked your hair behind your ear, completely contrasting his cock about to abuse you.
"Taehyung, baby it’s okay, I'm okay. I'm with you right now. I want everything you thought of, everything you want with me… I want you." You looked into his doe eyes tinted with guilt, offering him a smile.
Taehyung returned a light smile of his own, pressing a feathery kiss to your lips before he grabbed the base of his cock again. He gripped your hand hard as his dick compromised your opening.
He hissed once he sank in, the feeling of your pussy opening up for him eliciting a drawn out 'fuck' to leave his mouth.
Taehyung could feel how tight you were after a month without him; you weren't as stretched out and he felt drunk. The way your walls hugged his rock hard dick so snug, so intoxicating he wanted to completely lose control but refrained with you in mind.
You thought you were used to the pleasurable burn of Taehyung's gifted size, already aware of how well-endowed he is but you suddenly felt a harsh sting and forced your hands against his chest, exasperating. Taehyung immediately stopped, widening his eyes in concern.
"Are you okay?"
"Just-just give me a second." He nodded, feeling your breaths calm down as he soothed over your arm, your walls relaxing
"Y-you can move." You voiced weakly.
Taehyung complied and moved in considerately, failing to suppress the low groans that left him. He finally bottomed out and hit your cervix, both of you letting out satisfied grunts at the feeling of him buried so deep. He could feel the way your walls pulsed around him to adjust, adding to his lists of reasons he was insane for you.
Taehyung kissed you as he began fucking gently, slowly, wanting to feel the way you wrapped around him, craving for you to feel every inch, groove and vein of his cock.
The feeling of him slowly and languidly thrusting inside you felt otherworldly, the longing, the care, the love in his movements so apparent you grappled the back of his neck to hug him closer. Taehyung rocked himself against you, laying deep kisses to your mouth.
"Fuck, baby.. you're so tight." Taehyung breathed out, unable to hold back his sense of control, gradually fastening his pace to fuck you better, feel more.
"How does it feel, princess, tell me." Taehyung cooed into your ear, now kissing underneath your jaw. Your lewd noises grew louder as he began pumping faster and Taehyung looked at you.
"Shit, Taehyung. I-I feel so fucking good. You fill me up so good… want more.” You practically whined, head spinning at his intoxicating pace, wrapping your legs around Taehyung's torso to feel him deeper.
Taehyung weakened at the feeling, kissing your lips with fervor and now thrusting faster as his need to come undone racked his balls, but aching to treat you first. His skin was imprinted with your scratches, him only fucking you faster in response.
"Harder, Taehyung, fuck me harder..!" Your voice trailed with a mewl, kissing him sloppily as your desire for more of him grew unbearable.
Taehyung smirked against your lips, "You want it harder, huh? You like that? Want me to fuck up your insides? Batter this pussy up?"
"Y-yes, Taehyung, please."
Taehyung already felt fucked out, wrestling with your tongue as he wrapped his arms around your torso and pressed you flush against him. You both groaned louder as his pace turned unforgiving, 99% sure your neighbours could hear every lewd sound.
"Taehyung.. fuck. I missed you. I missed you so much!” You spoke without a thought, light-headed but hyper aware of just how much you wanted him, needed him, not only with his cock buried inside you but just him, so close to you.
"Shit, baby.. I missed you more. So much. So fucking much, you don’t even know." Taehyung growled desperately as he fucked deeper, kissed harder, his tone coated with sincerity.
Both your confessions made for rougher fucking, nasty tongue kissing, tighter grasps on each other. You rutted against one another shamelessly, movements faltering in precision and more so in desperation as Taehyung shoved himself inside you.
And he watched as he did, seeing the way he disappeared into you between your bodies and enjoying the way you bounced in response.
"Taehyung, fuck, Taehyung.." You moaned out his name breathlessly as you gripped his shoulders, feeling your abdomen flood with heat as his cock kissed your cervix.
"Jagiya, fucking-watch it, say my name like that again and I'll fuck the living shit out of you." Taehyung warned with a growl as he rammed into you.
"T-Taehyung.."
“Such a bad fucking girl."
His arms suddenly locked you down in place, holding you tight as he began the roughest, hardest thrusts you've felt all night. Taehyung deliberately pulled all the way out only to smash back in as he felt your body jerk up in response, swallowing your whimpers.
Your moans were loud, ringing in your own ears as you felt yourself losing your sanity. He snapped into your gut, filled you up so good all you could feel was him. Your orgasm was bubbling in your stomach, begging for release now.
"Taehyung, I'm gonna- fuck, I'm gonna come!” You warned him with a pitchy yelp, the tingling feeling unbearable as his body rubbed against your clit.
"Come for me, baby, all over my fucking cock, Let me feel you." Taehyung encouraged as he desperately tried to hold his own load, wanting nothing but to witness the way you came underneath him.
And out of nowhere your second orgasm washed over you, barely noticing the snap as you ached from oversensitivity and protested him to a halt. Taehyung controlled himself as your walls continuously clamped down on him, watching you pant from fatigue.
But he decided on your punishment and suddenly flipped you onto your stomach, instinctively settling on all fours as you felt him prod your entrance. He pushed you to arch your back and pulled your ass up, giving a nice smack before kissing up your back like the demon he is. He sank in with no warning and began drilling into you again, setting a merciless pace and angling himself to fuck you completely open.
“T-Taehyung, what are you doing!”
“You’re coming for me again.”
“I can’t- Taehyung I can’t!” Your hand quickly came down to entangle with his on your hip, his deft fingers boring into your skin as he mercilessly buried every inch of his cock into you.
“You can do it! Just one more time for me princess, let go for me.” He coaxed you as he felt your walls pulsating around him again, his arms hugging your body to his and mouth breathing unevenly near your ear.
"Taehyung, Ah- fuck! C-come inside me, please!”
"Shit, I’ll stuff you with my cum, fucking give you my kids!” Taehyung grunted as he continued bartering your pussy, reaching down to roughly rub your clit. You cried out, half from sensitivity but half from pure pleasure, gripping his hand hard.
You felt the coil coming back for a third time and Taehyung’s encourgements were doing absolute wonders. "Taehyung-shit I’m gonna..fuck!”
Once he delivered a particularly hard, deep thrust with his hand on your clit, you gasped out his name as another orgasm released through your body, temporarily blinding you with bliss. Your legs grew weak as you buried your face into the pillow, trying to catch your breath.
“Just like that, baby, just like that.” Taehyung spoke supportively as he thrusted one last time before finally coming inside you, helping you ride out your climax. He groaned into your ear as he spurted hot stripes of cum inside you. You squeezed his hand on your stomach that still held you up, feeling him milk himself of every drop he had racked up just for you.
Once Taehyung felt completely vacant of his seed, relief washed over him as he kissed your upper back, both of your bodies lax and panting for air.
"You're amazing." Taehyung tried steadying his breathing, beaming as he hugged you from behind, cock still throbbing inside you. "I fucking… I held that back for so long."
"You didn’t have to… I would've thrown myself at you if you just came home." You breathed shallowly. "Could've done whatever you wanted.. I planned...on treating you cause you were so stressed."
Taehyung rolled his eyes at himself, "Ugh-don’t remind me. I already feel dumb as fuck."
You turned your head back and scolded jokingly, "Don't call yourself dumb, only I get to say that." A soft giggle escaped him as he let you go. Taehyung slowly pulled out and watched as he did so, viewing the mess in between your legs with admiration.
Taehyung swiped the cum dripping down your thighs back into your core, completely stuffing you with him until he brought his fingers to your lips. He watched you lick provocatively, his breath hitching at the sight until needing to pull his fingers out.
He then quickly made off the bed and ambled over to the bathroom, retrieving a damp towel and cleaning you up gingerly. He plopped down next to you after discarding it and threw an arm over his eyes.
You turned to look at him, feeling the butterflies of him next to you flood your chest. You wiggled closer and propped yourself on an elbow to gaze at him, your other arm laying on his chest.
Taehyung felt your eyes on him and spoke without looking. "Hi."
"Hi," you moved his arm from his face, echoing him. "Don’t hide from me."
Taehyung grinned at you, lifting his arm. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you're madly in love with me. Don’t do that, I don't really deserve it." He stated dejectedly, evading your eyes to rather view the night sky.
"Kim Taehyung, what did you just say to me?"
No response.
You sighed, "Bubs, look at me." requesting with a softer tone and he returned his eyes to you hesitantly. You wagged your finger at him.
"Don't say that, okay? Maybe you should’ve told me, maybe I should’ve been more vocal about my feelings, maybe we both should’ve just communicated. It's not only your fault, it's mine too so please don't say that." Your bottom lip jutted out and your eyes implored him, upset that he was insulting himself.
He deserved every ounce of love in this world.
"Maybe.. I just..Fuck, you need to know I hated doing it, okay? Every time I saw you in that building I was dying to be with you, but I had to hold back to protect you. I couldn’t bear something happening to you, and please, please don’t think I don’t love you anymore. I do, I love you more than you’ll ever know. If I could throw all of this away for you I would." Taehyung spoke sincerely, remembering the way he saw you admit such an awful thought and he hated that he was the cause of it.
"You really don’t know how hard it was. I’m writing lyrics for my mixtape and they all end up about you. We're out at a photoshoot and I always wanted to send you pictures. I didn’t use SNS, call or text you because I knew it’d just be harder for me to create that stupid ass distance.” Taehyung ran a hand through his hair as he sighed, frustrated about it.
“Even when I was shooting commercials I thought about your reactions if you saw them. I missed you the whole time, more than you know. I just couldn’t risk anything, there was so much on the line with you and I wasn’t going to give you up. Work got in the way and there was so much happening and I just-"
“Shh shhh.” You calmed him down reaching for his cheek. “Thank you for that. I'm sorry you had to do everything by yourself, had to carry all that responsibility alone." Your lips quivered, catching Taehyung's attention.
"No, it's okay. I'm the one who made you think all those shitty things. I do find you annoying, but I could never find you that annoying." Taehyung quipped to lighten the mood and you smacked his chest.
"Hey!"
"I'm kidding, Jagi." Taehyung chuckled before letting out a long, hard sigh. "I was just so swamped with this comeback, I’m working really hard for it and got too focused." He explained regretfully, tucking his hands underneath his head.
"So you just thought fuck me for a little while, right?"
"Wha-no I didn't, I mean.. I did just fuck you but-not like that…shit, just come here!” Taehyung suddenly turned onto his side and threw his arms out, you scooted over to him instantly, giggling. He tightly wrapped his arms around you and hugged you close, pressing his lips to your hair and you kissed his shoulder.
Your hand absentmindedly found his and you intertwined them, causing a warm and comforting feeling to spread across your chest.
You found yourself becoming smaller in his hold, clutching his hand to compose yourself because you didn't feel like ruining a passionate night with tears.
Nonetheless, Taehyung sensed you growing vulnerable and pulled you on top of him, your naked bodies flush against one another. Taehyung immediately showered you with comfort, clutching you close to him.
"I’m not going anywhere, you’re with me for a lifetime, Jagiya." The smooth bass of Taehyung's voice eased you, reverberating from his chest as he senselessly soothed your back.
"Please, don't do that again. Please just tell me next time when there's a problem, I'll tell you too and we can work it out together." A hint of desperation tinted your tone, shutting your lips together to prevent yourself from crying.
"I won't, baby, I promise." Taehyung hugged you a little tighter, running a hand through your hair.
"I love you, Taehyung."
"I love you, Y/N."
#taehyung x reader#taehyung smut#kim taehyung x reader#bts smut#taehyung scenario#taehyung fanfic#kim taehyung#first fic#thebtswritersclub
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Sometimes you just have a really intense week and can’t stop thinking about how much trauma Lan Sizhui experienced by the time he was 5 and how being the Very Best Boy isn’t always healthy and then you need to write Lan Wangji the child psychologist and his incredibly anxious foster-son, y’know?
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Bunny is on time-out again.
"You have to behave,” A-Yuan says in the voice of the potato-head, packing accessories into its body and shoving it into the bed of a soft plastic truck. “You get in the car now.” The Barbie van is already full, with a dinosaur and a fingerpuppet and one of the new larger Lego figures, and all their carefully packed luggage. A-Yuan does that. Over and over again, for each of his toys, he methodically packs and unpacks luggage. It’s his most common form of play, but not the most enjoyable.
A-Yuan’s breathing is rapid and shallow, so much so that he takes little gasps when he talks to himself. Routinely, predictably, he’s calmer when he turns away from the dollhouse. He’s most collected when selecting items to put into luggage, deciding on pieces of felt and Barbie shoes, but even with the vehicles he can lose himself enjoying the movement and progress of the cars. But underneath it all, there’s a jerkiness to his movements and a certain disconnected quality in his speech and body language that tells Lan Wangji that he’s pretty distressed.
It’s a step forward that Bunny is out at all, Lan Wangji knows. A behaviour therapist at A-Yuan’s last preschool made it a point to extinguish comfort-seeking behaviour towards the toy, which was becoming both careworn and grubby. A-Yuan’s had it at least since he was fourteen months old; it was with him when he came into care. Maybe his birth mother gave it to him. A-Yuan has obediently derogated the toy; if it’s left lying out, he can usually be trusted to throw it into a corner to prove what a big, grown-up boy he is.
Lan Wangji has very carefully gauged his son’s limits of tolerance for some things. When the car ride begins, he waves slightly and says, “Have a nice trip,” which makes A-Yuan glance back at him nervously, but it’s just mild enough, just unemotional enough, just tolerable enough, that it doesn’t provoke too much emotion. A-Yuan can keep pushing his vehicles around, and feel safe enough to drive one into Lan Wangji’s foot. He doesn’t persevere at that point, though; the trip has culminated and he gets up and walks to where he can see down the hallway to the front door, then wanders over to the slide.
A hundred million years ago, Lan Wangji thought he’d be a genetics researcher, like his uncle. Then he thought he’d be a neuroscientist, like his undergraduate thesis advisor. Then he thought he’d be a psychologist like his brother, who focuses entirely on assessment and the development of psychometric tools. For a little bit in grad school, he thought he’d counsel adults, like Wei Wuxian, until a classmate told Wei Wuxian that Dialectical Behavioural Therapy was “objectively badass” and he developed a fixation Lan Wangji could not follow. In retrospect his career path is absolutely obvious, resonating clearly through every bone of him, but it took him a very long time to realize he ought to work with children. It’s a little shocking that he, who was so bad at being a child, feels so prepared to be a father.
He smiles when A-Yuan looks at him anxiously from the slide, the moment of uncertainty as he lets go and begins sliding down triggering the need for reassurance. Lan Wangji is always waiting for that glance, waiting to return it. At A-Yuan’s last placement he’d been assessed as having an avoidant/dismissing attachment style, and despite its uncharitable and parent-shaming nature Lan Wangji can’t help but agree with what his husband had muttered over that one: “Were the parents even trying?”
The most vital task, and the hardest, is being present in the moment with a child. Not worrying about the future, not concerned with the past, not preoccupied with an external standard. He’s surprisingly bad at performing objective assessments with children, because he can see how unfair they all are. His greatest facility is something he built for himself, brick by painstaking brick: the willingness to sit with discomfort, and have faith that the chaos will not remain chaos. All his years of meditation have cultivated a still eye to see the world from, and the faith that patience and compassion will see him through.
Still smiling, still watching A-Yuan, Lan Wangji moves closer to the dollhouse. He carefully stars arranging its contents, righting knocked-over furniture and returning blankets to little wooden beds. He takes out a shark figurine, a couple of doll clothes, then puts Bunny on the floor near his shin. When A-Yuan comes close, magnetically drawn away from the slide, Lan Wangji reaches behind himself for the tea set they were using earlier, arranging cups and plates in front of him as though they’re going to have another tea party. He leaves the placement of the cups ambiguous; it’s not like Bunny is specifically invited, but there is a suggestive proximity, the way the other cup is in proximity to the shark. A-Yuan takes the teapot, and Lan Wangji solemnly holds his cup out while A-Yuan pours. For the sake of the ritual he accepts milk and refuses sugar and mimes stirring his invisible ingredients before taking a sip.
When A-Yuan is done drinking, Lan Wangji turns to Bunny, lifting a cup, and asks, “Would you like some tea?” A-Yuan noticed the moment that Lan Wangji’s hand moves, but as he addresses the rabbit A-Yuan seems to lose interest, which is to say, he slightly dissociates; blink and you missed it, but his eyes go a little glassy, he looks away, and then he acts on the adrenaline and gets up and wanders away.
The current theory about Bunny is like the theory of gravity, which is to say, it’s definitely pretty certain but it never hurts to be humble when it comes to knowledge. It’s honestly a little more speculative and psychodynamic than Lan Wangji is truly comfortable with, and A-Yuan’s case manager, possibly a little defensive over the last preschool placement, absolutely refuses to consider the possibility. But it still feels as essential and true as which way is up that Bunny performs the vital task of holding all the parts of A-Yuan that he blames for making the adults he cares about disappear. Bunny holds both the neediness and the hope for comfort that were so painful, his son shut them down in order to survive. Bunny was how A-Yuan mediated that desire, the source of his comfort, until he was three and a half, and the behaviour therapist.
A-Yuan knew his foster parents didn’t like him being disorganized and distressed and clingy, that they’d rather he behaved more like a six-year-old than four. Which he could, sometimes, because he had a ferocious intelligence which put him cognitively ahead of his emotional development. But he, well... adapted a little too quickly, one might say. Learned his lesson a little too well. Now they’re trying to reignite the behaviours that were extinguished.
Lan Wangji takes a risk, while A-Yuan is pulling picture books off the lower shelf, and lifts Bunny to his shoulder like a colicky infant. He doesn’t do anything else, aside from stroking the rabbit’s fur. He leaves it in place, with a little guiding help from his hand, when A-Yuan brings a Franklin book over and climbs into his lap, demanding to be read to. With interest he notes, halfway through the story, that Lan Wangji holding and petting Bunny doesn’t distress A-Yuan; as the story arc gets as exciting as Franklin books ever do (which is not, to be clear, a criticism) A-Yuan turns in his arms long enough to distractedly reach up and pet Bunny too, before turning back and trying to grab the book for himself.
Wondering how far he can push this, he keeps Bunny in place on his shoulder when they leave the room to check the clock, and A-Yuan goes to the living-room window to watch the street for Wei Wuxian. He looks curiously when Lan Wangji leans down to dig the remote out between the couch cushions, but easily redirects when Lan Wangji turns on the TV and goes to prepare dinner. Having the show on limits his anxious glances out the window to three or four a minute only, instead of sustained attention followed by a meltdown if he had to wait more than five minutes.
Lan Wangji thinks it would be easier to keep Bunny in place, on his shoulder like a dishtowel, if he had weighted plastic beads in his extremities, or if he was velcroed. He’s wary of changing anything about such a strong comfort object, though, so he just learns to move and stand differently to keep the rabbit from constantly falling off.
A-Yuan greets Wei Wuxian with the kind of terrified delight that looks like general indifference if you don’t know better; he runs over, stands uncertainly within arm’s reach of Wei Wuxian’s legs, and then dodges away before Wei Wuxian can reach down to him. Lan Wangji helpfully muted the show when he heard the door open--it gives A-Yuan the space to sit with his back to the room and self-regulate while the adults say hello.
“New friend?” his husband asks finally, an eyebrow raised.
“Modelling it as appropriate,” Lan Wangji says. “I thought perhaps he could tolerate us demonstrating that it is not discouraged.”
“Nice rabbit, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says seamlessly, in a voice meant to be heard from the couch. “I like it. Makes me wish I had a rabbit.”
“They are very good friends,” Lan Wangji agrees. “This one is not mine, but he is keeping me company.”
“Nice,” Wei Wuxian agrees. “Maybe whoever you borrowed him from will let him hang out with me sometime.”
Their audience does not comment on this, but they didn’t need him to. Wei Wuxian sets the table while Lan Wangji cooks. A-Yuan’s palate is still pretty limited, so he’s used to making three separate elements of one meal, and can live with cutting up cooked hot dog into little coins so long as he doesn’t have to eat them himself. They just supplement their kid’s diet with a multivitamin.
A-Yuan looks askance enough, when dinner is ready, that Lan Wangji takes Bunny off his shoulder and asks, “Where should he sit while we eat?”
There is a fourth chair, albeit completely out of proportion, but he doesn’t dare try it. Instead A-Yuan thinks for a minute, and points to the kitchen counter behind the table. Lan Wangji props Bunny up against the wall, observing dinner if not participating, and after a second to think, A-Yuan accepts this as normal and climbs into his chair. He is meticulously well-behaved.
Lan Wangji aches for his son, and hopes one day he’ll feel confident enough in their love to break the rules around them.
They eat.
#the untamed#my stuff#lan wangji#lan sizhui#AU where everybody's a therapist#the colleague from grad school lan wangji consults most with is nie huisang the family therapist#never saw that coming
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wow, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? sorry that i kinda dropped off the map there, but you know how it is. life calls when it does. anyway, today we’re doing a reading on your next five years. for this reading in particular, if you’re drawn to more than one group then i’d suggest you read them both, because 5 years is a long time and it’s definitely possible for bits and pieces of your prediction to be scattered around this reading. devise a strategy that works for you even, for example, if i’m drawn to pile 1 first and then 4, maybe the beginning of pile 1 is more relevant to me but the end of pile 4 will resonate more. enough of my rambling, on to the reading!
*year 1 means from now till year from now, year 2 1-2 years from now, and etc.
PILE ONE: GLASS PANELS
overall, the next five years has you waiting for the right moment to begin living. currently you are stuck in a place where you’ve been hurt and betrayed— yet you cannot leave yet. you’re probably trying to plan a way out, but perhaps, surrounded by the unbreakable glass panels in your life, you’ve come to the same conclusion as me: it’s not going to be any time soon. for the next two years, you will have no way out. however, you will become much more resilient so that 3 years from now, you have the power and strength to break out of your current situation and build your dream life. it seems that there will be a lot of movement leading up to this event; perhaps you will be moving house and leaving most of the people around you now behind. whatever the case, in year 3, you will be building a new foundation for yourself. if there are responsibilities and duties you cannot fully leave behind from your past, you will learn to balance them in year 4. in year 5, you’re building up your finances, having found your footing at home and at work. finally, five years from now, you will finally feel like you are in a place where you can feel stable and secure financially and emotionally.
in other words, the main message for you is “one step at a time”. you will have the life you want, but it will take a while. for now, you will have to heal your inner wounds and learn to brave the coldest of storms on your own. then, the next step will be to gain the courage to forge ahead and create a foundation that will allow you to build your life the way you want, away from the toxic people that you have had to rely on. once you have found your own independent footing, then the next step will be to go after you want, especially in career and life purpose. don’t be afraid if things start coming down, almost no one goes through their 20s and 30s without having to destroy something fundamental. finally, once you have learned to juggle all of this alone, the final piece will fall into place, and that is the rest of the world. friends, a new family, and days that make you so excited you want to sleep early so that the sun rises faster tomorrow. this is a long journey, but i’m confident it’s worth it. you got this! :)
PILE TWO: APPLE PASTRIES
for the next five years, you will ride a wave that brings you to the top of the world, and then you’ll prepare for the next chapter in life. we start off in year 1 with you being a little unsure of what it is you want to do long-term— perhaps you’re aware that it’s about time you start settling on a path with how responsibilities are piling up, but you’re also rather reluctant to let go of all your ideas and inspiration. that’s alright, you don’t have to decide just yet. in year 2, things get a little more exciting in the personal department: you might meet your future spouse, get engaged, get married, or even have a kid, depending on where you are in personal life right now. i’m leaning towards you being pretty young and just beginning to entertain the idea of marrying your special someone. whether it’s navigating a new relationship or wedding planning, you’ll be pretty caught up in it in year 2, and your work life will naturally fall into the background. not for long, though, because someone enters your life in year 3 and they don’t have your best interests in mind. they’re not out to get you, but they also don’t care if they had to step on you to get higher. this person brings you a whole lot of clarity on your life purpose and career, though, and so you transform your life quite rapidly, especially in view of the fact that you’re getting older and it can’t be helped, you’re going to have to start making some commitments. the transition is very successful and in year 4 you reap all the benefits. you are like water, you balance the push and pull effortlessly like the waves, you bring energy wherever you go, you complete the cycle and finish what you start. you’re in a position to give advice now, and people begin to look up to you. life’s... well, it’s actually pretty good.
year 5 is whole new chapter, likely on patience. the bliss of making it through one chapter in life never lasts long enough, and it is time for your life to move on. take care of yourself and always be open to growth. take the people that will betray you as lessons on how to better watch out for and protect yourself. wield the sword of clarity with conviction. before you know it, everything else will follow.
PILE THREE: FLAT WHITE
your next five years is about breaking free. you are often harshly judged by the people around you, and it’s like you can never catch a break. you wished for a peaceful getaway, and your wish is only partially granted. let me stop for a second and explain. for example, if you’re harshly judged at work, you might be able to get out of working with the particular team that makes your life difficult, but you won’t be able to leave the company entirely. something like that. you’ll have to do more than what you’re doing right now to truly get out of this situation. thankfully, towards the end of year 2, your heart hardens. enough is enough, you decide, and with your sharpened sword, you go after what you want.
the battle in year 3 is ugly. you say things you wish you didn’t have to, you do things in ways that keep you up at night. sometimes we don’t have a choice, though, because it was the only way you would be able to take what is yours and run. just in time, too, because in year 4, you will realise the stability you thought you were being offered was as strong as a house of cards. by defying expectations and going out on your own, you have nudged this house and cause it to topple. you get to watch from somewhere a little further away, but it’s still hard to deal with the questioning, the anxiety, the wondering whether you shouldn’t have left in the first place. no, darling, of course you should have left. year 5 is a year filled with so much more stability and happiness, it’s like you can’t recognise the person you used to be, the world you used to live in. if you thought that you will never truly make it out of there, my cards are here to tell you that there is a day where you will stop wanting to cry before you go to sleep, there is a day where the demons will shut up for good. so don’t give up! you’ll make it out of there if it’s the last thing you do, because that’s you: strong, persistent, and forever optimistic in your heart. and this personality of yours is what makes you lucky. when you want something with all of your heart, the universe can’t help but want to give it to you.
PILE FOUR: NIGHT
pile four, your reading is all about finding love! things are about to slow down for you now, and it looks like it will continue to be slow for awhile. and honestly, for you i don’t think that’s a bad thing at all, seeing as you are just coming out of having had to make difficult choices and work hard for what you want. for the next year or so, you’ll simply be continuing what you’ve started and letting the payoff roll in. in year 2, however, you’ll begin to look around at your life again and find out what is it you want next. at that point, perhaps you will come to the conclusion that it is love you’re looking for. or maybe it’s just excitement, since you’re pretty collected yourself. you’re the kind to meditate and sleep on things before you decide, and the person you meet in year 3 is decisively... not that kind of person. they’re hardworking, smart, funny and honest, but they’re also rather blunt and impatient. they’ll jump from one thing to the next without thought; they’ll argue with you through the walls of your room is it means they’ll win. you may wonder if this person is going to force you become their parent. well, no. this person has entered your life to show you that the world has so much more to offer if your just take the leap and jump. this person is here to show you that sometimes, you don’t sleep on decisions. you just go for it. once you begin to see the charm of this person, they will light up your life as a friend, a listening ear, then a worthy partner, then a worthy opponent, and then finally, in year 4... a worthy soulmate. and you will realise that taking risks is actually not as scary as it seemed, because this person is right next to you, and will be there to help you pick up the pieces should you fall. this might be a new feeling for you, because you come from a background of having to watch your own back all the time. being able to take calculated risks is what pushes one up from being a prince to a king. it pushes you and your life purpose to its full potential, and even if the ride of taking risks and forging ahead is rocky with this person in year 5, you will come out hardships closer than ever, stronger than ever.
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𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐒/𝐎 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦
𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑎𝑙𝑐𝑜ℎ𝑜𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 (𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔), 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡𝑦
𝐺𝐼𝐹𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒, 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠
⩥ 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠
„Y/N pass me the bottle.”
Said the stern voice of your best friend Hongjoong, you were at a bar, with your other friends, celebrating Hongjoong's career success.
He finally got the chance to join a musical company and fulfil his dream of becoming an artist and a song producer.
Seeing your best friend happy that his dreams came true made you sincerely happy of course, but a small part of you was kinda sad about that.
Hongjoong has been your crush since you two were kids and now, that he is going to become a well-known artist, he'll for sure find some hot idol-model girlfriend and your love will go in the drain.
Maybe it was the alcohol in your blood, maybe the pent up rage and courage that made you confess.
„I have a confession to make... I-i love you Kim Hongjoong.”
Everyone looked up at you in disbelief, it was until you felt your stomach tightening from embarrassment, urging you to vomit, running out of the room to a restroom to push it out, without knowing Hongjoong was following you.
As he saw you scrunched and hugging the toilet he came to you, to hold your hair from falling into your face.
„I may like you too, but that's something we'll talk about once you are sober."
⩥ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚
„Oh, come on, it would be fun, trust me.” Bullshit.
Going out with your best friend Seonghwa and his crush "to support him" was never a good idea.
Not only did you have to observe the cringiness of Seonghwa's love blind actions, but also see his crush treating him so poorly since she clearly did not have any interest in him.
As the movie ended and it was time for you to go home, you stood in front of the cinema with Seonghwa as he bid goodbye to the girl.
„Bye, be careful on your way home and have sweet dreams, I hope we could go out on another date soon.”
„Ah yeah, sure, bye."
You sighed softly, how could he not see the disinterest. As he turned to you, to thank you for helping him overcome this evening, your words stopped him before he could even start.
„Seonghwa, please stop hurting yourself by loving someone who's clearly not interested, when I've been showing you affection and interest for two years."
„What? Yo-you like me?”
As you realised what you've just said, earlobes and cheeks turning red from the embarrassment.
„I mean... kind of.”
⩥ 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨
„Y/N, I'm waiting outside the house, come on, let's go.” said Yunho over a phonecall.
You were celebrating the end of the semester with your classmates, and since you've had some drinks in you and despite that, you didn't know how to drive, you had to call your friend and deep-down also crush Yunho either way.
Rushing out to finally see your crush, you were met with the breath-taking sight of Yunho leaning to his car, one hand scrolling through his phone, the second one chilling in his pockets.
„Yuyu, my love, you’re here.”
„Gosh, Y/N you’re so drunk, I’m glad you called me and didn’t try to go home on your own. I don’t want to imagine what could’ve happened.“
„But nothing happened since I called that handsome guy I love.“
Yunho shook his head at your drunk talk, were you talking about him? Not knowing the sincerity of your words, but in the depth of his soul, he hoped the words that came out of your mouth were true...
⩥ 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠
„Happy Birthday dear Mr. Kang, happy birthday to you.“
Handclap noisier than the song of celebration for your boss, Kang Yeosang.
Although being a CEO, he was really warm-hearted and kind, not like the basic CEO type who’s cold and arrogant.
Being his secretary helped you to get to know him better over the years, but also made you grow feelings for him. You sometimes just zoned out and stared at his handsome face for hours, just like now.
„Y/N, can you please follow me to my office, I need to talk to you.“
You had no idea what Yeosang wanted to talk about, feeling only one emotion. Fear. Did he find out you like him? Did you do something wrong? Is he going to fire you? As he closed the door after you two, you couldn’t even look him in the eye, rather observing your high-heels.
„Y/N, what’s with you these days? You seem... different. Your mood’s been down lately, you’re impercipient. You know you can tell me anything, i want my most important employee to be happy.“
Employee. That’s all you were.
„I know you’re probably gonna get mad and I fully understand, feel free to fire me, but truth to be told, over the years I’ve been working for you, I grew feelings and I just can’t get over it... I-I love you, Mr. Kang.“
Yeosang’s face went pale, absorbing the words you’ve just said, mind going blank from the sudden confession.
„I don’t know what to say, Y/N. I mean... you’re a nice, young, hardworking girl, but.. I-I might need a few days to let it sink and think it over.“
⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐧
San's hips moved to the rhythm of the music, his hands on the waist of some random girl, their sensual dancing just irritating you.
It wasn't like you and San were dating or anything, but you still couldn't stand the thought of him being with anyone else. An annoyed groan coming out of your mouth as you picked your glass and took a shot to drink away those thoughts. San taking the girl by her hand and coming your way.
„Hey Y/N I just wanted to say goodbye, since I’m leaving with Sora to my place, if you need anything you can call, but I don’t think I’ll be able to pick up, since my hands will have other work to do, so rather try Seonghwa.“
„Yeah, I thought so, just don’t forget to wear a condom when you get your dick wet, cuz it looks like you’ll end up with STD.“ you responded, rolling your eyes at him.
„Why are you so rude and foul today, are you jealous because I get some pussy and you’re left with no dick because no one wants to approach you since you’re so mean? Get your act together and we can talk tomorrow.“
„No San, you want to know why am I so cheeky? It’s because I have to watch the man I love fuck around with a random hooker. Go enjoy your dick appointment now, you must be busy.“ Without thinking of it any more, you left him there, your aura for sure full of pure rage.
⩥ 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠
„Ew fuck no, Yeosang that’s nasty, I wish I could go back in time to five minutes ago when I didn’t hear this confession“ laughed Wooyoung at Yeosang’s confession in the game truth or dare.
Wooyoung took the bottle from Jongho’s hand, ready to spin the bottle and let it pick another victim of his stupid asks and dares. Spinning the bottle, it landed on you. Wooyoung's eyes already glistening from the excitement of daring or asking you something.
„So, Y/N, truth or dare?”
„Dare” a playful smirk finding its place on Wooyoung's face
„I dare you to kiss the person in this room, you have feelings for.”
You immediately started to regret telling him, that you like Mingi, the look in your eyes scolding him.
„Okay, but you all have to close your eyes.”
The 8 boys and your other 3 girl friends closed their eyes, as you hesitantly got up, making your way to Mingi, your crush of 5 months. Sitting on the ground next to him, your fingers landed on his jaw as your lips met his. Mingi’s eyes shot open as all your friends started applauding at your confession.
„I-I think i have feelings for you too Y/N...“
⩥ 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠
You were currently in the changing room, packing your belongings, to take from your workplace. You decided to leave your job as a makeup artist and stylist for the group ATEEZ. The reason was the fact that you liked one of the members and didn’t want to cause any problems to the groups, you knew it was inappropriate to like him, but it was irresistible.
You attached feelings for Wooyoung when you first started to work with them. All eight boys were absolutely amazing, but Wooyoung was just... different. He sparked a flame of interest in you, his personality, his talent, his looks, all those drew you to Wooyoung.
As you cleaned all your makeup brushes, the door to the changing room opened, as the figure of the aforementioned boy stood there.
„What are you doing Y/N? Why are you packing your things, are you going somewhere?“
„I’m leaving, Wooyoung.“
„What, why?“
„That is none of your concers.“
„It is, you’re my stylist, but more importantly, you’re my friend.“
„Yeah, that’s the problem Wooyoung, I’m your stylist - your colleague, that’s why I have to leave.“
„Why would you have to leave because you’re my stylist, what ar-“
„Because I like you Wooyoung, okay?! That’s why I can’t keep on working with you and mix my feelings into my job, it’s inappropriate, now if you excuse me, I’m leaving.“
The boy stood there as a column, without any movement. Should he go after you, accept your feelings and then you’ll keep on working with him and being his friend, or should he stay there and not go after you? Either way, it was already too late...
⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨
„So, what’s new in your life, Y/N? We haven’t seen each other for a long time because of our busy schedules.“ Jongho said as he sipped on his boba tea.
„Well, not that much happened in my life. You know how it is, a lot of work and stress, and lesser free time and sleep. I’ve bought a new notebook since my old one broke down and uhm... yeah well... I’ve been catching feelings for this boy lately.“
„Wow, really? I’m so happy for you Y/N, tell me more about it, I need to know what kind of a boy owns my bestie’s heart.“
„Well, he’s a really talented singer, he’s kind and funny, he’s more of an athletic type, hmm... and he’s really really strong. But he’s for real one of the nicest and best persons I’ve ever met, I like him, but I don’t know whether to tell him, because I'm not certain of his feelings...“
„Wow, he seems to be a nice guy, but don’t be blinded by your feelings, if he doesn’t like you, let it be, I don’t want you to get hurt, because of some stupid boy who won’t acknowledge the feelings such a beautiful and amazing woman like you has for him. Anyway, do I know him or who is he? I’m like really really curious right now.“
„It’s you Jongho.. you’re the boy i like.“
#ateez#ateez reactions#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez headcanons#ateez x reader#ateez hongjoong#ateez seonghwa#ateez yunho#ateez yeosang#ateez san#ateez mingi#ateez wooyoung#ateez jongho#ateez reaction#ateez fluff
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