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#think of naruto and then like yea this guy always needs
cynicallyneutral · 1 year
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his
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cubur · 8 months
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Hi Cubur♡♡, I would like to be able to give you a hug and be able to be your friend so I can listen to everything you have to say, please don't stay silent, if you need to say something, don't hold back. I'm one of the anons who long ago told you "you are the first Naruto artist I have ever met" and the truth is that I think you are an incredible person, your art always makes me happy and I love how you manage to capture all the emotions of the ship and the characters. You also sometimes remind me of Sasuke, such a magnificent and good character to whom many bad things happened, but although he often wanted to do things alone, he still had Naruto who was never going to leave him. I hope one day you find your Naruto. I want you to know that there are many people who love you, many people who you make happy, maybe not all of us know you but I know that if I did I wouldn't be disappointed because you are a good person, with deep thoughts, you seem like someone who likes to look out the window and think about life, that is, you are someone super interesting. And I also wanted to tell you that many times I have felt sad, I have even come to think that without me the world would not change or that maybe they would miss me but that after a while they would forget about me, but then I found my Naruto or rather my Guy since I'm more like Kakashi, but thanks to that person and other things that I later realized, I decided to study Psychology, this way I can help others like they helped me. If I had the appropriate knowledge I would also help you but the truth is that I speak Spanish and my English is not very good, and I would also be afraid to tell you something that is not since I'm still studying. So as an anonymous friend I wanted to tell you that you also helped me in sad moments, and without you realizing it, that's why I feel that many times help comes from anywhere and that even the smallest things can save our lives.
Sorry for writing so much, I hope I haven't bothered you, thank you for all your effort, te quiero♡ and please don't let your light go out
Hi there! Well, I just don't know what to say right now… Since I'm usually the one who writes such long articles, it seems a bit strange to receive a message like this now ^^;!
(sorry this will be a bit long)
First of all, I sincerely appreciate that you're thinking so positively about me. I'm not sure if you'd still think that way if you knew me in real life though… I mean i'm actually quite a regular person contrary to what you guys think. Hmm (probably not everyone thinks about committing suicide or deleting everything every day) so yea, maybe not so regular…… But sure that I'm not as great as you guys think. Look I can't even solve my personal/emotional problems by keeping my mouth shut. Why is it so hard to keep going when it's so easy to leave everything? Idk… But still, it feels good now to hear that even someone like me made someone happy!I know very well what this feeling is like *since i'm still someone's fan* So I'm glad i can still make someone feel this way!I mentioned earlier that i feel closer to Sasuke's character. But I can never imagine i have a personality like Sasuke, not that strong pls x) …or maybe we can be the same in terms of psychological. I mean i could probably lose my mind too if i lost my loved ones. Yes, I often get messages like this, "you can write me if you need someone, I can listen you, don't be silent, tell me, trust me" etc. And I would like to talk to you guys but…… my problem is I have a really difficult time trusting people, and when I do, i don't even want to share them with others. This goes for everyone I love …even my pets. I know how selfish that sounds. But I accidentally read a turkish quote about this today. "Uçarken görüp uçmasına aşık olduğunu, sevdin diye kafese koyma". So if I can translate it right, it says "Don't put it in a cage just because you saw it flying and fell in love with its flight". I have no right to do this i know, that's why i'm trying to change myself though it's hard. Maybe if I take some healthier steps about communicating, my psychological state will start to improve, even if it is a little bit, who knows. Gotta start somewhere…
Oh but everyone wants a Naruto in their life, right?? Well, no one knows what the future will bring to us. Yes we are all hope for something about our future, but those things may not be the right path for us (even if we don't know it), so over time obstacles will come our way that we cannot prevent even if we wanted to, and eventually we will realize sooner or later that we are in a dead end, and need to change our path …in the most painful way. About me, I still don't know if i'm in the decision stage yet… But at least now I know that when things start to get clearer, I'll accept them without questioning why.
Just, you don't know how much I appreciate your willingness to help me. So thank you for all your kind thoughts here and taking the time to write me all this!I'm grateful!!🙏
And ok, this is not a promise but, I'll keep running as much as i can to avoid losing that little light at the end of the tunnel…
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northwest-cryptid · 8 months
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I don't collect many things, but of the things I do collect I think the most surreal is physical Mabinogi merch.
To explain Mabinogi is an MMORPG that came out in 2008 and I've been playing it ever since beta. I'd argue it has plenty of charm and enough reason even now in 2023 for anyone with even some slight interest in it to give it a shot however to me (and to my partner) it has a special place. Not only is it how my partner and I met, but it's literally a game I have played for 15 years now; considering I'm 28 that's over half my entire life.
As you might imagine back in middle school and even early high school I didn't really have a lot of money, let alone the understanding of how to order things from overseas. So a very niche MMORPG didn't necessarily have a lot of merch out and about. While most kids at my school had Pokémon backpacks or some kind of Anime plastered on their shirt (normally Naruto or Dragonball) I never had physical merch. So I was always that annoying kid who had to verbally tell you how much I liked my dumb special interest.
To give you an idea of how much this game was a part of my life, my mother once bought me an actual copy of the Mabinogion, like; the book that the game is loosely based on, it's entirely in Welsh and my mom also gave me a dictionary to translate it, I was stoked about this; I was in early high school walking around with a black book with a red symbol on the front speaking in Welsh as you can imagine this did not make me popular and cool.
Now my partner and I collect actual official merch, just last year we acquired a few magazines, guide books, and even manga. It's incredible to behold such a snapshot of time from when this was all still new and popular.
This is a guide book from back when the slogan for the game was still "fantasy life" it would later become "anime life" and a few other things; but this is the one I remember from my childhood:
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We were really excited to look through this and translate it, more over we were taken aback by the system requirements listed in the guide book, I mean just check out these specs!
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The funniest part is that there was a time at which I was getting a new laptop because I had to travel and I specifically gave the guy at Bestbuy this almost exact rundown for the specs I needed. This was of course because my plan was to install Mabi on it, which I did. However I had a hard time explaining to anyone why I wanted these sort of specs specifically without saying "uh so I can play an extremely niche online game from Korea?"
We also got books that were literally Item and databooks which had full lists of items you could obtain in the game as well as what races and genders could use them:
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This was an absolute trip down nostalgia lane for us.
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I cannot stress just how cool it was to flip through these pages and go "oh shit I had those, oh I remember that! Remember this? Yea it was from an event, damn that was a long time ago; oh god I'm old."
It's crazy to see just how much detail and effort went into these! I didn't even know they existed, if I was aware of these back in school I'd have gone ballistic over them like, check this out there's entire pages dedicated to Generation 1:
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of course the merch pages caught our eye looking over all the stuff we have yet to hunt down for our collection
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These books are great and I personally love the manga, illustrations of the world that I've only ever seen as low poly PMGs is such a sight to behold as a long time fan.
However you may notice something, there's not a ton of physical merch. Sure there's books and manga, and it seems like at one point there were standees and a few figures, posters, and mugs; but these days getting your hands on the rarer merch can be difficult and not to mention expensive.
That's sort of why we excitedly took matters into our own hands, slowly and methodically recreating the game's PMG models as OBJs we can actually print from our 3D printer. It's not easy but it's totally worth it.
I know this probably sounds REALLY stupid to you, and I wouldn't blame you for laughing at me for it; but the fact that I have played this game for 15 years; and today I held a 3D printed figure of a Golem in my fucking hands has me feeling a certain kind of way that's hard to explain. Knowing I could print figures of our characters, our favorite NPCs, not to mention entire dungeons and create dioramas of our favorite places from a game that means so much to me is genuinely mind boggling.
I think the part of all this that still has me in disbelief is that if you asked me what I wanted when I was a depressed 16 year old in school who came home and immediately jumped on Mabi; I'd 100% tell you that I just want to live alone with a partner who enjoyed Mabi and maybe a few cats. Now I'm 28 living with a partner who I not only met via this game but who is actually significantly better than me at it lol; we also have 3 cats and our home is slowly but surely being decorated with more and more Mabinogi crafts. I don't mean to sound like my life revolves around this game, though I admit I do laugh when my partner breaks out her signature slogan of "Mabinogi is Real Life" but I guess in a sense it just feels like I've fucking made it you know? I did it, I finally got the life I was longing for and while it may not feel real; every day this sort of thing happens makes it a littler harder to deny that I'm living the dream. I'm far from rich and I'm far from healthy; and I don't exactly have a great career or anything sure, but I think 16 year old me would be happy with the way I turned out.
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ships huh? hmmmmm. I mean I suppose I can put forth SaiIno at least, that seems easy. and I will also suggest any Hinata ship of your choice cuz I don't actually know if you like any. and then also, LeeSaku, IF you feel up to it.
SaiIno:
He called her beautiful right upon seeing her, now you would say "oh he was just saying that to not anger her", but I say, he could have said" nice" or friendly" or "you look good." but NO, he said beautiful because he meant it
Ino actually was interested in sai right away, she didn't think his beaviour was weird, she didn't think his skin was weird, she just accepted and liked him. hell yea
Of course, we have her saving him from her own mind and then he asked her out because likeeeeeee yeah? I would ask her out too good for sai
I love love love the scen in the Sakura novel when he opens the door to Ino and is only in a towel and doesnt understand why she is embarrassed by that. God i love them.
They are the best parents in their respective age group. They deeply love and support inojin which is so cute and they love each other. I cant believe we got a scene with Sai lying in Ino's lap like we are so blessed.
Sai deserves love. Ino deserves support post war. They can deal with it together, be there for each other. Sai can learn a lot about expression from her, Ino can help him on his way to becoming more like the self he wants to be, not the one he was told to be.
Ok I know i had better reasons for the last reply but UH it just came out of me they are so cute.
I would do LeeHIna since I love it so much but you asked for LeeSaku so for now (also I ship every age appropriate hinata ship as long as she is happy im happy)
NaruHina
I just adore the dynamic of sunshine and shy person. Like, she is so drawn back and quiet, but he just speaks up for her instead and is sort of like "look my wife" because he doesn't mind? peak
He saw her when nobody saw her. A thing that always hurts me with hinata is that she'S so overlooked, even by her own family, but naruto never did that, not a single moment.
She see's him too. Long before others and the village itself. She admires his kindness from their first meeting
I would call it childhood friends to lovers but more like, childhood crush to oh my god I cant believe the shy girl gets the main character???
I will die mad that in the Boruto arc in which Naruto gets kidnapped we didnt get to see Hinata fight and defend him and almost die?????We only hear about it?!?! Becuase??!?! either way, that!
Hinata deserves to be happy, she deserves someone to lift her up and tell her how great she is, how worth she is how loved she is
Naruto deserves someone who fully loves him and knows him well and supports him always, even if that can get complicated.
LeeSaku
Lee is a fucking badass that can punch your face in
Sakure is a fucking badass that can punch your face in even harder
No seriously, they'd be a powercouple, and a pair you'd not like to meet in the dark if you are a bad guy
Apart from that, lee is a good guy, he is an absolutely down to his heart good person. After all the shit Sakura went through, she deserves a good and kind hearted guy
He also defended her several times and yes he did ask her out and profess his love, but he never like called her feelings for Sasuke into question? Thats very considerate of him, because his first priority is her
Sakura needed healing and love after being almost murdered by the guy she harboured so many feelings for and Lee would absolutely provide that. And not in a "oh this girl is very vunerable right now gotta take advantage" but in a "this is the girl i love and the girl i cherish and I will take care of her"
They'd be.. super cute tbh asdfklas
Kind of like Naruhina in the childhood crush to Oh my god yes it worked out yes
Lee would be an insane Sakura fanboy, Sakura would tell lee how beautiful and wonderful he is every day she wouldnt doubt himself anymore
phew, long reply
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ksficrec · 5 months
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Hi! I just wanted to say that I love this blog, and I also wanted to take the opportunity that so many Kakasaku stories are shared here to express some frustrations I have when I’m reading a fic.I wonder if maybe there’s somone out there that share the same opinions so that’s why I’m here with a little list of things that bother me in a Kakasaku fic:
1- The “Sakura-Chan” thing. Kakashi does NOT call her like that, and frankly it only makes sense when Naruto says it. Kakashi calling Sakura like that is very ooc and not cute AT ALL for me.
2- Ino always being portrayed as the “sex expert”, pushing Sakura to dress sexy or whatever as if Sakura was a virgin prude with no sensuality of her own. It pisses me off, like why humiliating Sakura like that?
3- Sasuke being portrayed as a villain in OU fics: Sasuke suffered a lot of trauma and was heavily manipulated by Itachi, Orochimaru and Obito, but even if he was rude to Sakura sometimes, it was because he felt he had to push people away so he didn’t loose loved ones again. He deeply cared for team 7 so in OU fics, there’s a lot of ways you could write a good Kakasaku without having to bash Sasuke because canon Kakashi and Sakura understand Sasuke very well, it doesn’t make sense for them to hate him.
4- Last but not least, let’s be clear about what is slow-burn: slow-burn is when the relationship and chemistry are being constructed gradually, not rushed or urgent. They go slow with respect to each other’s limits. Writing a scene when the couple is about to have sex and then something/someone comes up and gets in the way is NOT slow-burn!!
Anyway, I just needed to take some things out of my chest because these little details really bother me when reading a story. Thanks for the attention, and keep up the good work!
Hi! Firstly, thank you 💕 Then,
This is where I realised I forgot most of canon and most of my Naruto knowledge now I think is purely from fics because I don't remember at all if Kakashi calls her Sakura-chan in canon or not! I don't mind it so much in fics, plus when it's used there is always a moment when feelings happen and he stops calling her -chan, so I don't so much mind this one. But I also prefer when he doesn't call her -chan, but instead sees her more as an equal in the field also (but idk if this is maybe a wstern bias I have and perhaps am not interpreting the japanese suffixes quite right).
I don't like the shy virginal Sakura portrayals either anymore (I think I did when I was a teen because I could relate to her that way). But also given the age difference and that in many fics Sakura is 18-19, I get the shy angle. But I just don't like reading that anymore, give me bamf, confident, sexually secure Sakura any day. However the flirty Ino is a trope I LOVE in fics.
(What does OU mean?) I get this but also I never really liked Sasuke too much. As an adult I understand that all his problematic behavior stems from being hurt and manipulated like you said, but the way he treats Sakura in canon is still very poor, traumatised or not. I get where it comes from but it's still not good behavior. Anyways in fics I also prefer when he is not such a bad guy, but a more sort of complicated situation. I also like the fics where he is dead but Sakura has only lovely and loving memories of him, which also complicates the situation
I am not sure what the actual fandom definition of slow burn is?? I am realising?? Because when they keep getting interrupted it's slow burn for the reader cause you want it so bad but it keeps getting delayed... but yea that's not so much slow burning feelings tha tthe characters have. While what you are describing is also friends to lovers (alt enemies to lovers) which is its own tag... so idk!! I'll take your word for it tho
I love this ask, you are all welcome to sending this kind of asks!
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kitakashi · 11 months
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yea turns out he was an arrancar so 😃 but then again something told me it wasn’t real.. his “performance” was off putting and I’m glad rukia didn’t let her guard down completely. she was half and half. I knew it was too good to be true. as for the spoiler it wasn’t something that I needed more investigation on bc if I keep watching I know it will get answered or mentioned… but the spoiler was a certain someone and his family are related to the shibas 🤯
NOOOO but hold up… I’m currently like on episode 164 and I wanna talk about it.. so by the looks of it ulquiora technically killed ichigo right? like he’s dead but if it wasn’t for grimmjow breaking orhime out to turn time back and revive him then it would have ended with our MC dead. that’s what I want your opinion on. that he died. that’s what it looked like to me. a certain show I’m watching has the same thing that the mc died but gets revived by a miracle.
as for the orhime ask i do hope this arc turns out the way I’m imagining it. if if doesn’t you’ll hear it from me again haha. also I was totally unaware of how the fandom treats her. she has a huge hate club and I was so surprised. they call her all kind of names and I was like wait hold up I’m bout to fight everyone on her behalf, orhime get behind me!! lol like the men mostly don’t like her and I’m like?? that’s a first bc y’all usually ogle over the women’s figure and stuff, but it also made me realize that at the end of the day that’s all they see. a fucking object. they don’t respect the person. it’s like for them it’s “damn she’s fine af, but fuck her i can’t stand her ass. she’s so useless” and that gets me fucking mad. I’d like to punch them through the screen if I could 😒
Kaien being absorbed and technically still existing but not sentient… it awful but at the same time a good guy like him would waste away with guilt had he been aware of what the hollow was doing. It gave Rukia some closure tho.
I mean 🤷‍♀️ Ichigo technically dies a lot? The hollow protects his mind in a way while Hime heals his body. If he wasn’t the main character I’d be concerned.
Shōnen anime doesn’t typically have a lot of strong female characters. Hime isnt alone. Sakura from Naruto. Lucy from Fairy Tail. Noelle from Black Clover. Nobara from Jujutsu Kaisen. Anzu/Tea from Yugioh. The list goes on and on. The leading female partner always receives hate. The funny part is, if you read interviews with the authors they say the FMC they created is their dream girl. I think a lot of people are unintentionally misogynistic. And others are simply jealous.
Another reason I don’t participate in fandom discussions. Too much hate. Don’t like a character? Scream to your bff if you have to and then just leave it alone.
Also, the anime typically cuts a lot especially in older animes and where do they cut it? First from the FMC. So people who only watch the anime are missing so much of the story. Maybe not plot wise but the actual depth of the characters. I’m stopping myself from ranting about how the Naruto anime ruined Sakura. And Yugioh anime making Anzu so useless. 😤
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thepancakewitch · 26 days
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Heavenly Peach Banquet - Momoko's Relationship Web
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more self reference more than anything // keeping track of everybody in her relationship sphere
Jiraiya
Sexual - Romantic - Platonic
EXTREME PDA
Touchy Feely with one another constantly - always hands on
By extension, always cuddling or glued to one another somehow
Jiraiya becomes more of a romantic with her over time and takes care of her
Boobies - either sex
Public stuff
"Im gonna impregnate you"
Actually does
Regrets a lot of shit but feels less alone with Naruto and Momoko
"Accidentally" runs into her while she's traveling for missions
Not really the jealous type but worries about her safety
New Era
Probably one of the biggest loves of her life, she is still grieving and healing but she tries to think of him fondly.
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Tsunade
Platonic - Sometimes sexual?
Two peas in a pod, double trouble
Have had wayyy too many girls night out
Always relies on one another
Shizune
Platonic - Sometimes sexual?
Momo genuinely thinks she’s cute
Loves her to bits
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Orochimaru
Sexual - Platonic
CONFUSING
An EXTREMELY one sided love from Momoko
Yamato & Jiraiya realllyyy hates that she sees him
Jiraiya is more sympathetic/can see why
Yamato just hates it
Momoko is an object to Orochimaru but a fun one at that
He likes being near her but I think Orochimaru is aromantic, so it’s just not in his dna/doesn’t care to
But will fuck
"I wanted kids"
Adopts Mitsuki
Creates a child between Yamato and her… and ofc some snake dna
tries to experiment with Lotus
"i mean hes my long time friend's son…"
Doesn't really get jealous but will grab her when he needs her
New Era
Long time friends with benefits.
Usually will pick up Mitsuki and be a mom to him, is sometimes told to knock it off by either of them.
Gaara
Sexual - Romantic - Platonic
married
Really protective/clingy
ALWAYS in a cuddle pile with her
Loves to eat her out
Still finds it hard to speak sometimes since she is so overwhelming, but he likes it
Always wanting to kiss
Developed an infatuation with her fairly early on in his life
Kankuro and Tamari: idgi but you do you
Does get jealous of Yamato often
LORD KAZEKAGE I NEED MY WIFE BACK
"maybe in another week"
Chunin Exams
First meeting!
After Shippuden
Opens up to Momoko and confesses his love for her. Momo is ELATED and ofc reciprocates.
New Era
Despite his roles as Kazekage, he often allows her to visit or will drop into Konohanakagure. They see each other at least monthly.
Archive…. Yamato
Sexual - Romantic - Platonic
Momoko’s rock.
Need to work on them more……. I just want it to work ok
Has trouble not being invisible
Momoko dotes on him a lot/coaxes it out/boosts him up
Kakashi: Don’t you want to spend time in the sunshine? Yamato’s mind wanders to spending time with Momoko……
Is really shocked/hurt/betrayed to hear she’s wrapped up with Orochimaru
Easily made to be jealous, but also sort of into hot wifing so it's a weird line to walk
New Era
The main malewife.
Kakashi
Sexual? - Platonic
New Era
Hangs out with Yamato and her a lot.
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Might Guy
Romantic - Platonic
New Era
YEA
Obito Uchiha & Rin
Platonic
New Era
Kakashi and Momo always will visit their graves together, she serves as a sort of back up support.
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Ebisu
Sexual? - Platonic
New Era
Zz
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Iruka
Platonic - Flirty
New Era
Zzzz
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Koji Kashin
Runs into him at some point, is overwhelmed and becomes obsessed with finding him. Asks for Orochimaru’s help to track him down.
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Amado
Tries to beat his ass regularly, extremely angry about him having Jiraiya’s DNA.
Gets chilled out by his claim that Yamato is a clone as well, but is his own person.
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Mitsuki
Momoko’s godson in a way….
Log
Another one of Momoko’s sons………………
Created Family
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Lotus - Jiraiya & Momo’s Son
He’s a good boi…… promise
Is an absolute terror on the village
Destroys stuff regularly
Has started training in Toad jutsus since it’s in his DNA, combines with moms’ taijutsus techniques to make his new moveset, Slip & Slide
“Tadpole”
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tfw-no-tennis · 7 months
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one piece live blog hrmmmmm
why hello its me LJ starting another liveblog. yayyyyyyy i love liveblogging lol. so ive been wanting to do this one for ages - the one piece manga! im starting at zou bc i wanna catch up, then i plan to go back and read from thriller bark on. lets hope I get there!
I have read most of this already (I was last caught up to the end of act 1 of wano) so there will probably be spoilers scatter through, for now...
So i started w/chapter 803. here goes!
robin thinking the dragon drawing is cute awww
revolutionaries wwwwwwwwwwwwwww
dragon asking about robin awww <3
DRAGON NOT ASKING ABT LUFFY BHVJDSKFBJSKHDFBJKH
dragon: luffy who???
still thinking abt the person on reddit who posited that blackbeard is actually 3 guys in a coat and thats why he can have multiple devil fruits and also thats why his flag has 3 skulls. mans might be onto st
uh ohhhh the revolutionaries have been busted 😬
BUGGY OH MY GOD
buggy having like. a pirate temp agency. hhhhhhhhhakjdhsfsjkjdfjkjl
ok but buggy failing upwards is always so funnyyyyy pleaseeee
I admire buggy for sticking to the clown theme. can't quit the bit
also him pretending to be Large is hilarious
luffy usopp law and zoro all being like NINJA???? 👀 I love it
okaaaaaaay onto 804:
AUGHHHHH not the ASL bros playing baseball cover 😭😭😭 mannnn I wasn't ready 😭
the coordinated strawhat dodge lmao
hvbahdjkfbsjhdf kanjuro and kin'emon fucking around back there and getting knocked off lmfaoooooo
robin with the morbidity hvbhjadfjbaksjf love her sm
them being like ehhhh should we get those guys or just leave them? they're fine lets just go. hvaikdfbjksdf
oh my goddd everyone getting so invested in the dragon's struggle. plssss
LMFAO NOOOO HE DIED ??!?!
zoro and law being lame hvabdjkfbsjdkf
I love sm that luffy and usopp are always wow'd by everything new and cool that they see and that they always share that awwww
godddddddddddd I forgot the official scans call him zolo. SOOOO cursed
in my head zolo is just the OC ruth and I made up; zoro's twin brother on wano who is heterosexual, doesn't really care about swords, and has a great sense of direction. we're so funny
oh shitttt is that carrot???
usopp being so stressed all the time makes sense if u think about one piece's crazy condensed timeline...like they Really were getting into a new insane fight every single week with no pause
CARROT JUKES
still mad that she got sidelined back to zou later in the manga :| I'll talk abt that more later I'm sure lol
ooomg wanda showing up w/nami's clothes on. hello. not kidding when I say that nami is a lesbian w/the most game ever she legit has a gf on every island
usopp being like 'a talking animal!?' how long have u known chopper my dude
omg at this point in time naruto had just ended 😳 crazy for one piece zou was a while ago at this point but naruto has been over...one piece rlly won that huh
oda saying 'kishimoto has escaped the hell of weekly serialization' bruh somebody needs to unionize these mangaka. fr.
okayyyyy 805!
usopp being worried for nami awwh
robin 'perhaps they eat people.' hbvhajdfbjksdfbhksja love her
oh my god so many implications that the other straw hats are dead lmao
lmao god law just casually being like 'yea I never expected to see my crew again' bc he was planning to die in dressrosa...
bepo oooobh show me bepo
THER HE ISSSS BEPO MOMENT
luffy immediately getting into a fight lmao
oooobh I love carrot she's so cute why did she have to get booted from the story :( boo hiss
of course luffy actually remembers bepo bc he's a talking bear and that's COOL
law's crew missed him sm awwwwwwwww that makes it extra sad that he was planning to die yeesh
oh shitttt they all missed some drama
806!!
omgggg the cover story w luffys village awwwhhhh dadan and makino and her shanks babyyyyy also is she wearing a wedding ring?? are she and shanks married????
kin'emon and kanjuro shenanigans lmao are they ever gonna make it up the elephant
bruh that's so cool how the elephant spraying water on itself sustains the minks on zou ooooooooommh I love the creative ways that the one piece world works
carrot just randomly biting luffy...mood
aight WHO was getting crucified.
yall gave zoro directions to somewhere???? is anyone seeing the problem here lmao
'chambres' lmfao the translations...french ass sounding law
usopp hiding behind zoro and puppeteering his arm hhhhhh I love them
NAMIIIII my fav
omg I forgot abt the pineapple houses. SO cool
reunion!!!! :D
ohhhh my god the sanji cliffhanger. yessss so juicy fuck yeah
honestly I am soooo pumped to read whole cake again lol that was the first one piece arc I read since that's what was coming out when I got into one piece in 2018 and it slapssssss. also I'm really excited to read the rest of wano, especially now that it's over, and to catch up and hopefully read weekly like I do w/CSM. yayyyy
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bts-sugaplum · 2 years
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Feelings are a drag: Shikamaru x Reader
Summary: Shikamaru tells you how he feels
Notes: angsty, fluff, arguing, attitude, Shikamaru x reader, best friend naruto, nudish scene
You just got home from a long and exhausting mission with Kiba and Naruto. All you had in mind was going home and going to bed. You don’t mind long missions although you did miss seeing your best friend daily when you were gone. To your surprise you didn’t see him at the gate as you got closer. 
“Bye , Naruto. Bye Kiba.” You yelled out as the two boys waved their goodbyes to you and you took your normal route home. On your way home you couldn’t get out of our head as to why you didn’t see Shikamaru standing where he usually stands, it was strange of him to not be in his normal spot when you got home. And it was still noon by the time you got back. You eventually pushed the thought away as you got to your front door. To your surprise it was already unlocked , you made your way in only hearing voices coming from the living room. You walked in curious to only see the TV was on and a sleeping Shikamaru on your couch. You walked by him , turning off the TV , and putting out his cigarette. With the motion of you putting out the cigarette for him woke him. 
Shikamru shot up from his slumber and gave you the biggest hug. 
“Oh, y/n how I’ve missed you.” he expressed squeezing the life out of you
“H-hey Shika” you replied as he let you go, you walked to your room and he followed right behind you like a lost puppy who found his owner. 
“How was your mission?” He asked sitting on your bed watching you get clothes out of your dresser
“Long, and exhausting, I was already craving my bed.” You replied as he smiled thinking to himself how alike you to are that it drove him crazy.
“Well Shika, catch up when I get out?” You asked walking over to the bathroom only in your tank top and underwear.
“U-uh, yea” Shikamaru said as he walked to the living room, trying to get the last image of you out of his mind.
Shikamru was lost in thought, confusing himself the more he thought about you, and how he missed you, seeing your body exposed to him was nothing new but this strange feeling of wanting more it left him startled.
“Feelings are such a drag?.. he mumbled to himself
You walked out the bathroom in only some short shorts and one of his training T’s that went to about mid thigh, your legs exposed freely, and your hair heald up by a towel, as you walked over to your room to do your hair.
“Shika I’m out” you yelled out to him, soon hearing his footstep closer to your bedroom, soon looking through your mirror to see Shikamaru laying on your bed with his feet hang off. 
You sensed something was off but you didn’t know what 
“Shika, are you okay?” you asked
“mhmmm” he replied with his eyes closed
“are you sure? You seem kinda weird, is something on your mind?” you asked
“Well yes sort of” he said know sitting up
“Would you like to talk about it?” You asked sitting next to him on the bed, the moment you sat down he engulfed you in a hug. You just sat there shook, Shika was never this sentimental around you. Yes you guys have slept in the same bed together, seen each other close to naked but it was never something that surpassed friendship. And his chakra was giving off strong vibes unlike his usual calm and collected vibes you received from him. 
“Y/n , we do need to talk” He said letting go of you
“what’s up Shika?” You asked sitting back up to look at him, he looked back at you and sighed 
“I like you y/n” he blurted out, you just starred at him shocked on that the fact that the lazy man in front of you just    to you.
“I-I like you too, Shika” you responded , he sighed with relief and pulled you in for a kiss. 
“ I have always liked you y/n , I just didn’t know how you would react since you were always with Naruto.” he explained
“Naruto? No way! He’s like my little -big brother theres no way I liked him, it’s always been you Shika.” you responded giggling.
“Feelings are such a drag.” he laughed out
“That they are , my friend that they are.” you grabbed his chin having him face you as you leaned in to peck his lips
“I’ve been wanting that since you left.” he admitted
“It took you, two weeks to come to your sense that you have a thing for me” you exclaimed surprised that it didn’t happen sooner.
“What you always threw mix signals” He sighed , the rest of the night he just listen to you ramble on and on how you liked him and you never thought he would like you back, and how he was so hard to read.
“Well y/n my love, now that I have you , feelings are such a drag.” 
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lazuliitathewaifu · 3 years
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𝒞𝒶𝓂𝑒𝓇𝒶
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a/n:  English is not my first language so if there’s anything wrong, please, let me know.
➵ 1-A x GN! Reader (Platonic)
➵ Synopsis:��Your 1-A classmates find your camera and decide to see what's in it.
➵ Warnings: None
➵ Note: I saw some tik tok videos about it, it has a reference to shifting. You are from the real world visiting your favorite animes. I hope no one has ever done this, and if you already did, i didn't see it, sorry. 
━━━━━━━━━ ★
Most of the 1-A students were together in the dorms' main hall, talking and having fun. Except (Y/N), since they had gone out to buy snacks
Suddenly Sero came with a camera in his hand, that camera belonged to (Y/N).
"People! Look, I found (Y/N)'s camera!” Sero placed the camera on the small table in the center of the room.
“Oooohhh! Let's see what's in it! ” Mina spoke excitedly taking the camera and starting to use it.
"Yes! Let's go! ” Denki sat closer to Mina to look at what's on camera.
“Are you sure guys? Wouldn't that be an invasion of privacy? ” Momo, being the most sensible one there, wanted to defend her friend's privacy.
"Yea! That's not nice to do with your classmate!" Iida exclaimed doing those robotic movements with his right arm.
"I mean, (Y/N)-san always carries this camera and they've already shown us some videos that they made of us." Uraraka placed her forefinger on her cheek remembering when (Y/N) showed the girls' videos at the sleepover.
"Yes true." Tsuyu agreed with Uraraka
"I-I guess it won't be a problem so… I'm a little curious too…" Deku muttered the last part under his breath.
“Enough of the bullshit let's see this already! I need to go to sleep!" Bakugou yelled irritably, without patience.
"It's not our fault you sleep so early, Bakugou." Mina spoke looking at Bakugou.
"Shut up raccoon eyes!" Before Bakugou started releasing explosions in his hands, Todoroki started to speak.
"Can we just see?" Todoroki's voice surprised some people as he doesn't speak much, but it soon passed.
"Okay, I'll see here." Mina fiddled with the camera and saw that the photos were separated by albums. "They are separated into albums, there are some very strange names here..."
“Shingeki… no Kyojin? What is this?” Sero asked and Mina clicked on the album, several photos and videos started to appear.
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“Have you guys got tired yet? Keep going! Give me content! Hahahah” 
The voice of (Y/N) could be heard from the video that showed two teenagers who appeared to be the same age as them.
"They seem to be the same age as us..." Momo spoke softly but loud enough for the others to hear.
"Yes... (Y/N)'s voice is also the same, it's as if they were there at the same time as here."
There was silence in the group until Bakugou said something.
“Don't be stupid Deku! Clearly the place where they are looks old and has no technology at all.”
"So how does (Y/N) keep the same voice?" Uraraka asked.
"Maybe their voice didn't change when they grew up." Tokoyami spoke and Dark Shadow nodded beside him.
"Yes, let's just keep watching." This time Mina clicked on an album that says ‘Haikyuu’.
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“You all look beatiful! The jackets fit really well! It's time to show that Karasuno has wings!"
"Wow they are cute!" Hagakure broke the silence by waving her arms, which was actually just the clothes that showed.
“They seem to play volleyball. So manly!” Kirishima spoke with a comical tear in the corner of her eye.
"Let's keep seeing!" Denki talked excitedly taking the camera and clicking on another album called ‘Naruto’.
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"Do I really have to wear this?" A male voice could be heard on the video.
"Yes and if you don't I will put a maid's outfit on you muahahahahah!"
They continued watching some other videos until a certain album caught Deku's attention.
“What is this album? Boku… no Hero?” Denki followed his advice and clicked on the album.
"Ooohhh this album only has our video and photo!" Uraraka spoke excitedly.
"Let's see, let's go!" Sero spoke urging Kaminari on.
"Okay, okay."
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"Fufufu... looks like a lost puppy." 
(Y/N)'s speech made them laugh and Bakugou started screaming.
"I DIDN'T LOOK LIKE A PUPPY!" He yelled, explosions appearing in his palms.
"Let's see some more!"
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"My God, what a drip!"
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"Ehhh, even I felt that..."
"Midoriya-kun, are you alright?!" Iida's voice can be heard in the video.
"I don't think he can have kids now." (Y/N) spoke in a mocking tone with a giggle at the end.
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"My God! Todoroki smiled! Run to the mountains! The world will end!” (Y/N) yelled in sarcastic despair and Todoroki's old smile turned into a confused face.
"I still don't understand why they said that..." He spoke in his usual monotone.
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"Day 1 being held captive by the League of Villains. I want to get fucked by this hottie." She pointed the camera at Dabi.
“I don't see anyone stopping you.” He smirked and a sigh was heard in response.
“My, my. I see that it's not just your hands that are on fire.” A chuckle was heard in response.
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In this video there was no audio but in the description it was written 'My heroes.' the group can't help but smile at this.
Before they continued to watch more videos the door was opened revealing (Y/N).
"Hey guys, what are you… doing…" They looked at the camera in Kaminari's hand and then at the surrounding group. Some had a surprised look, others an interested look but mostly confused looks.
“(Y-Y/N) we can explain-” Before Deku could finish speaking Bakugou cut him off.
"No! I want an explanation!" Bakugou was angry but the confusion was bigger, as (Y/N) had videos on this camera with other people of the same age, as if they were in several places at the same time. They had another peculiarity and hid it just like Deku hid his? And everyone knows that he hates secrets.
(Y/N) just stood there not knowing what to do, this is going to be a loooong conversation.
━━━━━━━━━ ★
a/n: oof, sorry if the ending was horrible, i didn't know how to end this :/
(мαsτєrℓisτ)
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bakubabes-tatakae · 4 years
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Can I request love prompt 41 for Kakashi?? I’m in love with him 😘
I’ve never done a pregnancy thing for Kakashi so I’m so happy too. I feel like he’d be so amazing with a pregnant s/o. 🥺❤️
We’ll Be A Family || Kakashi x Reader
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AO3 Link
Word Count: 847
The stick on the edge of the bathtub was flipped over, you were took afraid to even look at it. Kakashi was out on a mission, it could be days before he came back home, you were almost tempted to wait until then to take a peek.
The closer your hand came to the stick the harder your heart pounded against your chest. What would happen if the test was positive? Would Kakashi even want kids? It wasn’t something that you guys had planned and it wasn’t something that you guys had even talked much about.
You finally reached forward, taking the test in your hand, trying to even find the courage to turn it over. The sound of a door opening filled the empty house, snapping your attention elsewhere. You placed the stick back down on the bathtub and slowly opened the door, just enough to see what was going on.
You recognized the silver hair of the copy ninja walking through your kitchen, placing his vest onto the back of one of the kitchen chairs. He peeked around a little more being saying your name. “Y/n, are you home?”
Anxiety took over you, not even wanting to tell him you were there, but your willpower let you open the door more. “Yea,” you slowly stepped out, leaving it open behind you. “I’m here.”
His walked over to you quickly, eager to wrap you into his arms and take in the familiar scents. His strong arms engulfed you, burying you into his chest. “I missed you.” He missed the top of your head. “I’m so happy to be home.”
As you sat in his arms you forgot all of your worries. Kakashi released you, stepping back some. “I’m gonna go take a shower, get the filth of this mission off me.” He smiled, the sides of his mask pulling up.
You turned toward the couch. “I’ll be out here.” You fell backwards onto the couch and closed your eyes as your head hit the pillow. As you could feel your consciousness slipping from you thoughts flew through your head. You had left the test on the bathtub.
You sat up with a jolt, about to jump up to try to get into the bathroom before he noticed when you heard him speak. “Y/n? What’s this on the tub?”
You started for the bathroom, heart beating uncontrollably. As you reached for the door it opened. Kakashi had the test in his hands, staring at the side with the results. His eyes were wide, a look that was between shock and terror painted on his face. He spoke before you could look at it. “You’re pregnant?”
You could feel your heart drop, you were afraid he would be upset about it if that was the case, and that was exactly how he sounded. “I don’t know, I hadn’t even looked at it yet. I was too afraid to.”
He looked up from the test, but the look this time wasn’t fear, he looked like he was smiling. “Why would you be afraid?”
“I was afraid you would be mad, we never talked about kids. We’re not ready to be parents, are we Kashi?”
Kakashi grabbed you arm and pulled you into his shoulder, his lips meeting my temple. “Of course we are Y/n.” His voice was comforting. “We may have never talked about us having kids together, but we’ve talked about wanting them in the future. This may not be as far into the future as we expected, but I think it’s a perfect time.”
“What makes it perfect?” You walked out of his grasp and to the couch, sitting down with your head in your hands. “You’re always gone on missions, I’ll be here by myself with the baby most of the time. I know you’ll be an amazing father when you’re here, but when you’re gone will be the hardest.”
“That’s the thing Y/n, I got back here early because I had to meet with Tsunade. They offered me a new position.” He walked to the coffee table and sat on it, facing you.
“What do you mean they offered you a new position?” You dropped your hands from your face, placing them on your lap, his hands instantly placed over yours.
He laced your fingers with his. “You’re looking at the Sixth Hokage, effective immediately.” He smiled. “They’re announcing it in the morning, Tsunade is stepping down.” Relief washed over your face as his next words left his lips. “I’ll be able to be home for you and the baby whenever I need to be. No more long missions, no more putting myself constantly in harms way. We’ll be a family.”
You could feel the tears falling down your cheeks before you had even known that you were crying. Kakashi wiped them away with his thumb, putting his hand under your chin and lifting your head. “I love you Y/n.” His soft lips met yours, lingering for just a moment.
You took a deep breath. “I love you too, Kashi.”
Naruto Content List 💕 @chidori-mint @praisingkuroosbedhead
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shadowstrangle · 3 years
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HI LONG TIME NO POST I finally got on here because I’ve got some free time between my classes and I just laughed thinking about it being “fan content time” because all I’ve done this whole time is draw Yuri on Ice fanart & work on some writing (yea u heard that right! I’m writing!)
Anyways life update below the cut as usual I think this one is long but I don’t care
I got an email a few days ago about this blog turning a year old and it was pretty special to me just because I made this blog on accident (I took an edible while rewatching Naruto and the rest is history) but the community I ended up building here???? Holy shit I’m so thankful for it. I feel like this blog is my space to literally do whatever the fuck I want and I think I really needed that. Especially when it came to being creative again. I actually don’t even know how I wrote so much fanfic at this time last year wtf??? But it made me so many wonderful friends here:)
But yeah I’m back at college, am no longer friends with my best friend of 10+ years (yeah), got more from my financial aid than I expected so I won’t have to work this semester (YEAH!), I’m kind of learning how to be a human again after being in a COVID/depression/unemployment hole for literally over a year (pretty sure everyone knows about that HSKDJFHDSF). It’s pretty cool. Considering grad school again like I do every two months, but I don’t even know what I’m having for breakfast tomorrow so I’ve been trying to chill on the Looking Ahead LMFAO
I’m starting to make content again because I like it and it’s fun. If you guys are on anime TikTok totally hit me up, my user is kirstrngl, I’ll probably link it later when I’m not feeling devastatingly lazy. I’ve also got some writing in the works, definitely no deadline for that because y’all know that I like to take years for things. I always get asks and stuff about Crave, I DO wanna finish it but every time I open the doc I close it!!! So!!! It’ll get finished one day. I’ve also been in a HxH hole for the last like….4 months so I have a HISOKA BACKSTORY I’ve been working on too!!! I’m actually more proud of that than anything I’ve made in a while so I’ll totally post it when it’s done.
I guess that’s it!!! I hope everyone’s doing well:) I’ll shitpost sometime soon. Also whoever was arguing about sasuke’s morality on one of my text posts please take a deep breath it’s gonna be ok
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nejiten-lives-on · 4 years
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What Girls talk about//Nejiten fanfic
day 1 for nejiten month (sfw)
- by me :) @nejiten-lives-on
It didn't take the byakugan itself to tell that Tenten had liked Neji Hyuga.
At this point Tenten was losing all hope, for the past few months she had countless tries to catch Neji's eye. Unfortunately for her, all her attempts to get Neji to notice her failed miserably. Neji had the eyes of an eagle but yet failed to see Tenten in the way she wanted him to. (Or so she thought)
It was a girls day out, & Tenten couldn't wait to have a relaxing day. Hinata, Sakura, Ino, Tenten, & Temari (surprisingly) were all at a Boba shop together. Later on they would go to the Hyuga compound to enjoy a movie together. Then Ino said
"Hey guys, that guy over there is kinda cute, one of you guys should go talk to him."
Sakura growled "Why don't you go talk to him Ino-pig?"
"Because I've been trying to get with your new teammate billboard brow." Ino fired back.
"You must be really good with the guys since you get a new one almost every month or so Ino" Temari chuckled.
"What can I say, a pretty girl like me can't stay single for too long, but I think this time with Sai it's going to be different." Tenten noticed Ino quirky suppressed the urge to blush & chuckled a little.
"Tenten what are you laughing about." Ino said.
"Uh, nothing just thought of something."
"Or maybe someone." Temari smirked.
Ino & Sakura started giggling & she knew this wouldn't be as relaxing as she thought. As Shikamaru would put this, this would be troublesome.
"Tenten how about you try to talk with the guy over there?" Sakura said.
"Im good." Tenten shot back quickly.
"Ooh so you do have someone else in mind." Ino chuckled.
To her left side Hinata was just sitting quietly hoping the teasing wouldn't go to her next.
"I wonder who it is." Sakura sarcastically.
"I think its kind of obvious, lucky for her we're going to get to see him when we go Hinata's house later on." Ino said with a wide smirk.
Tenten quickly suppressed the urge to blush but failed.
"Could you guys not, I don't like that cold-hearted, possessive, ice cube of a human."
"Sorry Hinata." Tenten quickly added
"Its fine." Hinata said with a smile
Hinata was so sweet, unlike her cousin. Tenten thought. Who was sometimes sweet but for the most part prideful & self absorbed, but with a face like Nejis' who could really complain.
"Look she's probably thinking about it right now." Sakura said to Ino.
"You guys need to stop with the teasing." Temari said.
"Thank you Temari." Tenten said with an eye roll
"And you Tenten need to Neji how you feel." Temari said.
"Wow was it really that obvious that I got the hots for Hyuga.." Tenten Said.
"Yea it totally is." Ino said.
"To everyone but him." Tenten said with an eye roll.
Sakura & Ino began to chuckle again.
"What are you guys laughing at now?" Tenten said with a bit of annoyance in her tone.
"Well isn't it obvious that Neji likes you back?" Ino said.
"Uh no, cause he doesn't. He probably doesn't even consider me a girl." Tenten said.
"You guys are both oblivious to each other's feelings for one another" Temari said.
"I just think-, no I know that Neji’s feelings towards me don't go any further than to being his teammate & friend." Tenten said.
"if anything the most he considers me as is a training dummy." Tenten said with a half chuckle built in with a tone of annoyance.
"Well let's test your theory when we go to Hinata's house." Ino said.
"Speaking of Hinata.." Ino looked to the shy girl to her left "You & Kiba, anything going on between you two?" Ino asked with a smirk.
Hinata's face became crimson & she started drinking her Boba in hopes Ino would stop targeting her. Sadly Its didn't work.
Poor Hinata, Tenten thought.
.
.
.
As they were walking to Hinata's house a conversation sparked up.
"Hey Temari." Tenten said
"Yea Ten?"
"Who initiated the first move, you or Shikamaru?"
"Well surprisingly Shika did, told him some time too." Temari said with a light chuckle.
"But I mean it was worth the wait."
"Why Tenten do you ask, want Neji to make some moves on you?" Ino said teasingly.
Tenten rolled her eyes "Even if I did, Neji has way too much pride in him to even think of doing that."
"Okay so doesn't that mean that you have to be the one to make the first move?" Sakura said.
"I mean when you put it that way.. but Neji probably wouldn't want someone as simple & bland as me anyway." Tenten said with a sad tone.
"Aww Tenten don't feel that way, you are so beautiful." Temari said
"Hai, you really are Tenten." Hinata added.
"Yea for sure & you have a really nice figure whether Neji can see it or not." Sakura said
"Trust me I bet he has noticed, who knows if he may have used his byakugan on you for other non-training purposes." Ino said with a wide grin.
"Ino stop!" Tenten said with a crimson face.
I guess all that talking was useful, they got to the Hyuga compound really fast.
.
.
.
At the compound the girls said their greetings to Hiashi & went to Hinata's room first.
"Wow, your room is huge Hinata."
"You say that everytime Ino." Sakura said
"Because its true." Ino said with hands on her hips.
Temari didn't plan on staying for long but the rest of the girls insisted on a sleepover.
After they had their fun Temari had left but before she left she reminded Tenten to try to make a move on Neji.
"Oh yea I almost forgot." Ino said with a smirk.
"So how do you plan on making your first move on Neji?" "Maybe going into his room & seducing him." Ino said with a wide smirk.
Sakura started laughing "This will be fun."
.
.
.
Next thing you know Tenten was being dragged by a group of chuckling girls running the halls of the Hyuga. Even Hinata seemed to be enjoying this. They were going to the side branch families part of the compound.
They knocked on Neji's door & ran, leaving a confused Tenten in shorts & a loose pajama top outside of Neji's room.
Neji came outside & was surprised Tenten was there, especially in that attire.
"Did you want to go training at this hour, If so I wouldn't mind but is a little late don't you thi-."
"No!" Tenten said quickly "Today me & the girls were just hanging out & I guess we're ending the night with a stay at Hinata's house... which is also your house." Tenten began to ramble.
"And as you can see they kind of just knocked on your door & left me here." Tenten said rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Surprise I guess."
"Well I suppose it isn't such a bad surprise." Neji said.
"Neji your flirting attempts are lame." Ino said at the corner of the hall with the rest if the girls head peeking around.
"You guys were here the whole time?!?" Tenten yelled
"Not anymore bye." Ino shot back & ran back to the main house with the Pink & Blue haired girls.
"Well unless you plan on chasing them back to the main branch you're welcome into my room."
.
.
.
Tenten walked in, nothing new it was the same room she would be in almost every other day when she came to pick him up for afternoon training.
She sat herself on his bed while he was right besides her.
Neji was a little closer than usual, not that she minded.
"I'm sorry did I disturb you, If you want I can go back to the-."
"No!" She could feel Neji stiffened "Ahem, no you were not disrupting me at all."
"Oh okay." Tenten said
They stayed in silence for a while but really for the two it was nothing new, but Tenten noticed that there was some kind of tension in the air.
"So what did you do today?" Tenten said to break the silence
"Nothing much, the boys & I just went out to BBQ together."
"I bet it was Choji's idea." Tenten chuckled
"Yea, not surprising but we were all getting tired of going out for ramen ever outing." Neji said.
"What do you guys even talk about when you meet up?" Tenten asked, maybe this would give her the opportunity to see what kind of girl was ideal for Neji.
"Nothing much just Naruto's crazy stories, missions, games, & girls." Neji said regretting the last part knowing Tenten would ask a storm of questions. Neji then spoke before giving Tenten the opportunity to talk.
"What do you girls talk about?"
"Uhh, basically the same thing I guess Ino's crazy boy stories, missions, our teams, & boys. Oh and a lot if teasing, well at least on me & Hinata's end." Tenten said with a bit of annoyance.
Neji lightly chuckled, it was a rare sight but Tenten always enjoyed seeing it.
"So what kind of boys do you talk about?" Neji asked.
"Don't worry only cute ones come up in our conversations." Tenten laughed
"Wow so then I suppose you guys must talk about me a lot then." Neji smirked
Neji & his pride, it was unbeatable. Tenten thought to herself.
"Okay whatever pretty boy don't get all cocky." Tenten said, stopping herself from rolling her eyes.
"Hm, so you admit that I'm pretty." Neji said smirking at Tenten
"Is it not obvious Hyuga, or do you want 100 more of your fangirls to stalk you during our training sessions." Tenten said sarcastically.
"I mean I'm sure they are just afraid that their beloved Hyuga might be taken away by a pretty girl." Neji stated
"And what does that mean exactly?" Tenten questioned
"It means.." Neji stared deep into her eyes "That I think you're very beautiful Tenten."
Tenten just looked back at with shock. It wasn't like Neji to be so straightforward with his feelings, usually a "Hn." was enough for her but for Neji to be this talkative for this long was rare. Was she in some kind if genjutsu?
"And I don't know if you are unaware but you have some fans as well, but I usually deal with them."
"What are you getting at Hyuga?" Tenten asked regrettably
"I'm saying that I like you Tenten."
Neji Hyuga, the ice block of the leaf himself actually has feelings? And even more shocking they were for me? Tenten thought.
Tenten was not about to let her emotions overcome her, although it was too late to suppress her blush (she was sure she was a darker shade of red than Hinata has ever been) She got herself together & said.
"I like you too, Hyuga."
At this point their faces were mere inches apart & they was heavy tension in the air.
Neji being the gentleman that he is politely asked "May I..?"
Tenten nodded
Neji grabbed Tenten's waist & lended in.
Slowly she could feel Neji's breath near her face & immediately started blushing. Then his lips touched hers & were met by a tender kiss. Neji's lips were soft & gentle. They were going slow, not that Tenten didn't mind the only thing on her mind was Neji Hyuga & his soft lips.
After a gasp for air Neji didn't hesitate to lean in for another soft & tender kiss. This one was filled with passion & hunger. Tenten gasp which gave Neji the opportunity to slip in his tongue & have power over her mouth. It was a deep & compassionate kiss.
After their 'make out session' They looked at each other briefly & chuckled. Tenten could feel her cheeks getting red & surprisingly Neji's cheeks were lightly tinted as well.
"Well I guess it's getting a bit late, I think I'll head back to the main branch compound."
"You know, you could always stay in my room for the night." Neji said with a smirk
Tenten blushed & threw a pillow at him. "Hyuga don't get too ahead of yourself."
"Hn"
"I see the old Neji is back, tell him I had fun & I might want to do it again." Tenten said smiling lightly
"Will do, I'm sure next time will be enjoyable."
Tenten exited his room & went straight to Hinata's room. Needless to say the screams of teenage girls were heard from all around the compound.
I guess the day did end up being relaxing, Tenten thought with a smile.
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nekophiliaff · 3 years
Text
how they move (a personal reference)
I said I was going to do a Twitter thread for my headcanons on how the characters dance in my GenIno socmed au When You Move (I’m Moved). But there was just so much to unpack. 
So my self-indulgent ass wrote a whole LONG ASS post instead!!
Most of these are just for the benefit of the the story (Sakura being unable to look alluring when dancing to sexy choreos lmao) but some of these I believe would be true outside of the story (Hinata having ballet experience, Shikamaru is a tutting machine). 
Genma Shiranui
Big Daddy G mainly dances hiphop but he is not master of one style/technique (whereas kks is god of popping and isolation, obi is a b-boy). BUT.
HE IS AMAZING AT CHOREOGRAPHY N FREESTYLE. THIS MAN. PUT ON ANY SONG. HE WILL DANCE. BEAUTIFULLY. JAZZ. HOUSE. SALSA. ANYTHING. You best believe this sexy motherfucker memorized TaeYang's Wedding Dress choreo in high school and decided from then on that he was going to be a dancer.
Ino Yamanaka
Ex-cheerleader (position: dancer and backup flyer). Used to be stiff but loosened up after time away from cheering. Mostly hiphop n absolute beast with sexy dance (but ALSO contemporary bc she is flexible ((but not as flexible as hinata)) n not afraid to fall. Oops.).
Think BP's Lisa. She takes choreo. ELEVATES IT. Sets the blueprint. Shows you what it's supposed to look like. Every choreographer's dream. Plus, she knows to communicate with the audience while performing. She is trained NOT to get too carried away or too lost in the moment.
Obito “Veto” Uchiha 
Obito loves breakdancing. He's not as fast or powerful as Gai and Lee but he knows how to work the floor. His moves are cleaner, more cohesive than the capoeira duo. When it comes to choreography, this man is GOOD but tends to FORGET STEPS bc he's TOO INTO THE MOVEMENT.
ALSO: "Naruto, Kiba, look! The parking lot is empty, let's do tUMBLES!!!!" Does stunts with Naruto, Kiba, Sasuke, Lee, and Neji.
Rin Nohara
Not originally a dancer. It will show when she's dancing with everyone else. BUT. The experience also comes across because she will never look out of place. She will execute choreo AS IT IS INTENDED.
Think how BoA dances in "Only One" or Kahi in Wall to Wall. It LOOKS EASY and SIMPLE when in reality, it's actually very difficult and requires understanding of how your body will move and look like (because if someone who isn't aware of their own body tried the Only One dance, it would most likely look AWKWARD.)
Kakashi “Kash” Hatake 
This man. Is GOD of classic locking, popping, and isolation. Will never give more power than is required of the choreo. His movements are smooth. Clean. Precise. He has full understanding and control of his body. Good in freestyle. Revels in minute movements.
Weakness? Do NOT expect him to CHOREOGRAPH a whole routine. He cannot. For the life of him. Create a routine.
Sakura Haruno
She. Is an absolute BEAST. This woman will stand beside Naruto and Chouji. and KRUMP. Total opposite of Kakashi's precision. She can pop like kks but hers is not as clean bc she puts more power in releasing her muscles. If they danced together, it would prolly look like this (skip to 0:38).
Sakura cannot EVER look alluring in a sexy choreo. She's got too much power (and swag). She can dance it. But it doesn't look sexy on her. It comes across more as attitude.
Tenten
Took martial arts as a kid (arnis). Transferred all that athleticism into dance. Will get doWN ON THE FLOOR WITH THE B-BOYS MAN (it's why she always got her hair tied) and just SPIN.
Also: Freestyle! When outside of a dance circle (a “cypher”), Tenten will make use of the surroundings to dance. practicing in the park?? ok lemme just juMP ON THAT LAMP POST and DANCE. parking lot??? OMG it’s veto’s car lemme just kick on it a lil bit on Rin’s behalf. 
Hinata Hyuuga
Took ballet as a kid. HATED the control. HATED being too restricted. Taught herself contemporary and eventually hip hop (oh how the Hyuuga clan GASPED). Helps Genma choreograph contemporary numbers for S-Rank but mostly dances them with Sasuke.
As for hip hop, Hinata SERVES!!! Sakura’s POWER is overwhelming but Hina will hold her own just fine and will KILL YOU with the attitude in her EYES ok. Hinata working sexy routines with Rin is also a must-see.
Sasuke Uchiha*
Took ballet as a kid. Go-to guy for contemporary numbers. Only trusts Hinata to choreograph (and dance with) for contemp bc she's the only one WHO UNDERSTANDS the forms and techniques.
In hip hop, like Rin, he does the choreo AS INTENDED. He is also used for stunts sometimes because he jumps high n come on twinkle toes let's use that ballet experience to good use.
Shikamaru “Bullshik” Nara
No words for the TUTTING GENIUS. Clean angles. Fast hands. Can create scENERIES USING A WHOLE TEAM'S FINGERS, HANDS, ARMS, ELBOWS with his choreography. Ya know, like this but faSTER. 
Like Kakashi, he is also a master of popping and isolation. Not so much locking. Locking needs a lil more energy to pull off. He's too tired for that.
Shino Aburame
ROBOTIC. That's it. Jk. Also a master of popping, locking, and isolation but he has a specific style he sticks to whereas Kakashi is mostly just freestylin it n feeling the groove. Kash actually likes dancing with Shino and Shikamaru (my lovely funky trio). But Shino is mostly focused on his own thing. 
The one time Shino choreographed, Kakashi danced with him n it looked like this (it mellow af man).
Chouji “Ciao” Akimichi
S-Rank's very own KRUMP KING. Chouji is POWER incarnate. And only Sakura and Naruto can stand next to him, dance next to him when he's doing his thing. He may not be as FAST and AGILE as his teammates but. He will CRUSH choreo if u tell him to let loose. 
Break a leg? Chouji will BREAK THE FUCKIGN FLOOR with this routine!!!! 
Naruto Uzumaki
Almost a male version of Sakura only he isn’t afraid of stunts (yea she can’t even cartwheel). Takes ur Tiktok choreos and gives it the ENERGY it deserves!!!!! But, like Obito, he tends to FORGET CHOREO esp when he's feelin the music.
Also the glorified HYPE MAN of S-Rank. Someone else dancing in the circle? “YEEEAAAAA WORK IT!!!!!” Dancing WITH the team during training or on stage? “AYE AYE AYE LETS GOOOOO” his energy is CONTAGIOUS. 
Kiba Inuzuka
This man. An absolute SLUT FOR STUNTS. He rly prefers doing stunts than the dancing, tbh. Always pulling Naruto so they can practice whatever NEW THING he came up with!!!! (he mostly likes stunts bc the more impressive, the more the crowd cheers and he is a whore for cheers) he'd totally come up with smth like this with naruto, genma, and obito!
He is also good at creating choreo. But Kiba, pls STOP with the pelvic thrusts. Not all the routines need a pelvic thrust, u horndog. 
Neji “NJ” Hyuuga 
You mean ALL 3 JUNIOR members (and Gai) have martial arts experience?!??? Neji has a black belt in Taekwondo but that doesn’t matter. he is mostly just here for choreography. BUT this man is precise af. Never misses a beat. Is all about hitting those complimentary beats in between counts and listens for other instruments in the song.
Rock Lee (and Maito Gai*) 
Lee and Gai (both have some training in capoeira). Two peas in a pod. Both super into old school hiphop and breakdancing!!!!! Before Gai's injury, he and Gai were the ULTIMATE B-BOY duo. 
*Sasuke and Gai (along with Kurenai and Asuma) are no longer part of S-Rank, sadly. 
Ending note: I might make another post with just links to choreos and who I feel they belong to lmao bc this was way too fun to conceptualize. I didn’t include choreos to GenIno bc I don’t wanna spoil some of the other stuff lmao.
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delavyck · 3 years
Text
In the beginning Chapter 1
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these other than my Fanfiction story.
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(illustrated by Yomi-Gaeru, Character officially from Kishimoto)
Chapter 1
Summary : This one week of break after 3 months of winning the 4th Ninja War will be interesting for Sakura, as she met the man who caused it all, but instantly changed directions after seeing the cherry pink haired kunoichi roaming around the Land of Mist.
Ships : Madara/Sakura, Hinata/Naruto, Side Sasuke/Sakura, Kakashi/Shizune Chapters : 20
Main Characters: Madara Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha
Characters : Tsunade Senju, Shizune, Kakashi Hatake, Sai, Ino Yamanaka, Hinata Hyuuga, Genma, Orochimaru, Karin Uzumaki, Suigetsu Hozuki, Juugo,
Kaguya Otsutsuki ( mentions ), Zetsu (Mentions), Obito Uchiha (Mentions), Katsuyu, Naruto Civilians/Village Civilians
Time line : Post-war, 4th Ninja war , Naruto
Rated : T - M (in a few chapters)
Circumstances
Third Person POV :
It was 3 months after the 4th Great Ninja War has ended, people were traumatized and scared until now, others have long forgotten about the past and stayed with the present, while others disappeared on who-knows-where. Medical Ninjas were stabilizing people and children that had traumas in that situation. Medical team Sakura, Ino, Shizune, Tsunade and Hinata were in charge on taking care of each level of the Hospital. Sakura was in charge of any Physical Help, Ino was incharge of Mental Help using her Mind-Tranfer Jutsu, Shizune and Tsunade were in charge of any help, and Hinata was incharge for chakra help using her byakugan.
Ino was slacking off a little because of what happened to her father, Inoichi.
Hinata was dating Naruto for almost a month now. But hardly moved on with Neji’s death.
Shizune was still taking care of the hospital.
Tsunade was thinking on resigning as the Godaime and make Kakashi as a candidate as Rokudaime.
And Sakura. She was 17 now.
But.
Sakura didn’t know anything anymore.
All she did is.
Heal.
Fight.
Heal.
Fight.
Everything just repeats. It was getting boring, but she had to serve the village.
How she wishes that Naruto will always bother her.
How Sasuke will always call her ‘annoying’.
How Kakashi will just look at her while reading his Icha Icha. But every one of those just vanished on her own very eyes.
She hasn’t seen Naruto after a week Sasuke left.
Sasuke left the village to atone for his ‘sins’.
And Kakashi just was too troublesome to think of, many emotions that can’t be described behind that mask.
I guess the 4th Ninja war really took a big toll on her, even if Sasuke says he’s sorry for everything despite the fact he almost killed her multiple times and brought her to a heavy genjutsu, just hurts to eternity. She has never seen an such obsolete human, so cruel, so evil yet it makes him look pathetic.
Naruto probably didn’t even care about her anymore since he had Hinata but she still missed his Joyful and Loud voice.
Kakashi probably didn’t care for her too anymore, it’s considered that she can be promoted to Jounin within the year.
Sakura POV; in her mind :
“Forget Sasuke. He doesn’t care about you, he left you after only 1 week staying in Konoha, he probably will come back with a son/daughter next, or probably a wife, who knows? Pfft, Don’t let him take advantage of you this time.”
Inner spoke in my mind.
After all, I guess it’s all true, I do think it’s time to let go of these feelings. It isn’t worth it anymore, years of loving and patience, all gone to waste. But I know I dont care about it anymore. Everything is the truth, the truth does hurt.
“I guess you’re right. You will always be with me right?” Sakura spoke
“Of course Sa-ku-ra, I’m stuck with you and your mind forever, so that leaves me no choice you know?” Inner talked. And chuckled afterwards.
“Yeah, yeah, don’t get too cocky”. She said as she rolled her eyes.
“Forehead? You there?” Ino said as she walked past by her.
“H-huh? O-oh yeah! I’m fine.” ‘Completely and obviously not!’
“Are you sure? You’ve been dozing off for quite sometime now. I would’ve used my jutsu to check on what’s going on with your big head”.
“Don’t even dare Pig.” She shot a glance at Ino that made her head sweat.
“Fine, fine, just tell me what’s going on next time, I won’t be too patient Billboard Brow.” Ino said sarcastically.
“Yeah, yeah, anyways, what time is it?”
“It’s almost past noon forehead, I was waiting for you to pick up lunch with me until I saw your gaze completely gone from earth.”
‘Crazy forehead girl’.
“Well why didn’t you say it now? Let’s go!”
They laughed as they went running from the hospital and going around the streets of Konoha just to reach Naruto’s Favorite place to eat.
At Ichiraku’s Ramen
“Ino pig, aren’t you eating too much?” She laughed while sipping her noodles as Ino’s soup made her choke by her words.
“HEY! DON’T MOCK ME. AND SAYS THE ONE WHO ATE 3 BOWLS OF RAMEN OFFERED BY NARUTO AND DIDN’T DECLINE!” Ino shouted at her frantically.
“Alright alright geez, your anger issues are taking a poll on you ya know? You’re getting as angry as me.” Sakura said while grinding her teeth.
“Hmph, fine, but you’re paying today, it’s your fault i’m angry like this.”
“Cheeky pig.”
‘Heh, fell right into my trap.’
Ino snorted afterwards.
—————————————————-
Oh how I wish it was like this everyday.
Everyday, happy.
—————————————————-
“Earth to sakura? Hello???”
As Sakura heard her bestfriends voice, her mind came back to reality.
“oh yeah, Hey!”
“Sakura, are you sure nothing is bothering you? You seem a little… distressed.”
Distressed? Maybe.
De-arranged? Yeah sure.
“I’m fine Ino, i’m really fine, there’s nothing I am worrying about, I’m just really stressed like you said, maybe the hospital is just too much for me right now.”
“Oh yea, Lady Tsunade said there is an opening tomorrow for people who wants to take a break for 3 days - 1 month, maybe you want to take a break? I can take your patients if you want.”
“I think that will be nice, I’ll think about it.”
“We should eat our ramen Forehead, it’s getting cold.” Ino said as she got annoyed.
Sakura nodded as a response.
‘The same as always.’
——————————————————————-
After 2 hours of bonding with Ino, she actually got satisfied. She actually felt happy for once.
She’s happy she’s there with her, she’s happy atleast Ino was by her side.
And she actually will take Ino’s word on taking a break, she’ll maybe need it.
She was actually surprised she hasn’t seen that annoying little yellow haired boy in the streets of Konoha. What is that little fox upto?
Walking the streets of Konoha after another 2 hours of going back to the hospital, she was going back to her apartment. In a flick of her eyes, she saw a tall, busty blonde and a black haired female just about the size of her. She saw Tsunade-Sama and Shizune-san near her apartment. Thinking of what’s going on, she knows it’s about her.
She chuckled, this night will be interesting.
Seeing the two females
“Tsunade-sama? Shizune-san? What happened For you guys to pass by?”
“Ah, Sakura, welcome back, anyways I have received a letter that Uchiha Sasuke will be returning in a week, so I maybe thought to inform you and Naruto to escort him through Konoha at night, of course, Genma and the others staying at the gate won’t interfere, I have already noticed them about your appearance next week.”
Sakura’s eyes widened at what Tsunade just said. ‘That can’t be possible, why did he even come back for? To become a Konoha nin again? That isn’t right.’
“A-ah Tsunade-Sama, he is really coming back isn’t he?”
Tsunade Nodded.
“Ah I see, I understand on what we are going to do, I’ll ask Naruto instead about this, you should be going to the Hokage Office Tsunade-Sama, It’s getting dark.”
“Alright, I pass you this. This is the mission scroll, and yes, this is a mission, an A-Rank one to be exact. And also this. This is the form you’re going to need for next week, it’s not any form Sakura, this is a form of seals that can be used as a sealing technique, originating from my grandmother’s clan, the uzumaki clan, using this fuinjutsu.”
“That’s very interesting Tsunade-Sama, I’ll hold onto this.”
“Come to my office tomorrow at 8 am sharp to discuss this with Naruto.”
“Hai, Tsunade-Sama. Also- Wait!”
“Hm?”
“I heard from Ino that you’re accepting people to take a leave so maybe I thought I’ll get one, i also want to take a small break from the hospital please? Like only 1 week?”
“Hm, I’ll consider it and will discuss with you this tomorrow, I also think it will be a good time before you leaving to go get Sasuke. More like a preparation, very well Sakura, I’ll see you tomorrow.
“H-Hai!”
She hoped Naruto will be in his house or she’ll have to call on Tsunade again telling that he wasn’t seen that day. And had gone to atoms.
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jaehyeonsgf · 4 years
Text
dear friend
summary : mark’s therapist suggests that he picks up journaling and mark uses it explore his friendship with you through the years. 
tw : car accidents leading to death.
-
Mark nibbles the tip of his pen in search of what to write, of where to begin. His therapist recommended that he starts keeping a journal, to keep track of his thoughts and emotions. Somehow Mark decides to write it to you because you’d understand. You’ve always understood him. You’d be the only person he felt comfortable sharing his unfiltered thoughts.
-
“Where do I start?” Mark asked, hands grazing the faux leather cover of the journal his therapist had bought for him.
His therapist start smiled kindly – the kind of smile that was practiced to perfection. “Anywhere Mark. The beginning would be good.”
-
Dear friend,
Today my therapist suggested starting a journal, so I’m writing to you. I think you’d understand, you’ve always understood me anyways. I really don’t know where to begin so I’ll start from the start. With us.
I remember the first day of elementary school. You were beside me. You took your small hands and held mine. You squeezed it and it reassured me. It was enough to get my tears to stop spilling out of my eyes.
“Mark!” Your voice was sharp, “Today we are grown-up!” You declared so loudly that even other kids took notice of you.
The other students’ parents were pointing at us and laughing. They thought we were so cute.
“Are they sibling?” one of the parents asked your mother.
Before your mother could answer her, you did with all the confidence a seven-year-old could have.
“No, Mark isn’t my sew-bling,” you frowned at the word ‘sibling’, “Mark is my huss-band!”
I just nodded enthusiastically. We both didn’t understand why the adult were laughing at our ‘cuteness’. We were very sincere about it. I guess, I hadn’t understood the impact of your words. Or my agreement to it. But even at 7, I knew that if being your huss-band meant that I could stand by your side forever, I would gladly be your huss-band. Whatever that meant.
Later that year, I would fall trying to learn how to ride a bicycle. I had scrapped my knees (the scar is still present now) and the pain had cause tears to flood my eyes. Our parents were too busy getting ready for the barbeque that they hadn’t realise.
But you came running to me. Your little legs carried you as fast as they could to my side. Again, you held my hand and squeeze it.
“You are a big boy now, no more crying!”
Looking back at it, you were always the fearless one, the one that stood by my side and steadied me. Even when my parents weren’t there, you were. I could count on you no matter what. Perhaps that’s why I believed, truly from the bottom of my heart that even if the world crashed and collapsed around us, if I had you, I would be fine.
-
Mark finishes his first entry, and places his journal and his writing pen – that he bought at the dollar store just to write in said journal – on his nightstand. That night i the first night that he felt a sense of peace in his heart. Maybe it was the subconscious spilling of his heart to you (well, not actually you you) again.
For the first time in two years, he has a sorta decent sleep.
He forgets all about the journal until a few days later when he came back from a cabin retreat that Doyoung insisted he’d go.
-
Dear friend,
I just returned from a cabin retreat at Hanuel National Park. Doyoung had insisted that I come along. Said that the whole gang’s gonna be there and that they didn’t want me missing out. I don’t think you’ve met Doyoung, he’s the new addition to the gang. He’s a blunt guy with a good heart. I think you’d really like him if you meet him.
It brought back so many memories. I remember that we first went there when we were fourteen. Our parents had booked a retreat in the mountains during spring break and since it was our first time staying over in the wilderness, you had looked up a bunch of websites, trying to find the best spots of the place.
We had our own cabin. Just the two of us. Our little world.
Most people would go hiking in the day, but not you. You said that you read an article online about one of the most stunning places to stargaze is at Hanuel National Park and that you wouldn’t leave without visiting it at least once.
“It’s totally photoshopped,” I grumbled when you excitedly shoved your phone screen infront of me, showing me the apparent night sky at the park.
You pouted and whined. “Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease Mark.”
And even though I preferred to stay in our cabin, reading a chapter from Naruto, I agreed. The way your eyes lit up in delight as you flashed your million dollars smile at me was enough to make up for it. You shoved your backpack full of stuff, and in your moment of frenzy, I think you even shoved some of my stuff in it.
“Dude, do you really need my bag of marshmallow? I thought you said it’d be a quick hike.”
You smiled sheepishly. And I knew what that smile meant. I just groaned as I pulled a windbreak over myself and slipped on my boots.
I still remember the harsh winds blowing through the forest, the claustrophobic fear that tugged in my heart as we pushed our way through the dense foliage.
“If we ever make it back to civilisation, I’m going to kill you,” I huffed.
“When,” you corrected, tossing me a glare, “When we make it back.”
“If.”
You rolled your eyes at me. At least, I think you did. In the darkness of the woods, with the only light coming from your dimmed down phone screen (to save battery) and the cheap dollar store flashlight in my hand, I couldn’t see anything. I could barely see you.
You were afraid too. I could tell from the way you would anxiously look past your shoulder, making sure that I’m following you in your every step as if you would think that I’d ditch you last minute.
I can’t lie and say that thought didn’t cross my mind. But somehow your glances made me irritated that you would even consider that.
“Dude, are we getting there yet?” I asked for the tenth, or was it eleventh, time of the night.
You clicked your tongue in annoyance. “We just started.”
“I think we’re lost,” I muttered, kicking aside a branch.
“No we are not,” you gritted through your teeth.
But your fearless façade fell the moment the light from your screen disappeared.
“Shit,” you said, suddenly stopping in your track. “Shitshitshit.”
You frantically tapped the screen, and when that didn’t work, you began pressing on all the buttons of your phone. But it was clear that your phone died.
“Shitshitshitshit,” you mumbled under your breath.
“Okay, calm down,” I tried to reassure you. “Let’s just go there another day alright?”
When you started hyperventilating, I thought you were just sad or angry or frustrated that we couldn’t visit the place. And by this point in the night, we had made a considerable distance from the our cabins. Little did I know I was wrong.
“Let’s walk back.”
You stood frozen. I was so confused.
“Let’s walk back,” I said again, this time a little louder.
But again, you just stood there, rooted on the ground. And it took me a moment to realise what happened.
You were scared. Of the darkness.
I hadn’t realise it until you told me later on, that although you were so terrified of the dark, you loved the stars. You had kept yourself steady on the brightness of your phone, ignoring the darkness outside of the screen as you led the way but when your phone died, the darkness came rushing into your vision.
For the first time in our friendship, I was the one that took your hand and led you back to our cabins. The walk back was quiet and somehow it felt longer when we weren’t quarrelling or bantering.
That night I learned that you had fears too. I also learned that you liked the stars. I wonder if you liked the stars simply because they tore through the veil of darkness or if it was because they shone despite the darkness, not letting it consumed them.
I hope it’s the latter. Because then I can say that you were like a star and not in some shitty poetic metaphor. But because of the years that were ahead of you.
-
That night, Mark places the journal in his leather sling bag – the one bag that he uses for everything. Taeyong has told him before that there are bags for everything, but you can’t use a bag for everything.
Mark doesn’t care. There are more things in life that Mark has to deal with outside of his banal fashion.
-
Dear friend, I’m writing to you on a piece of paper, just because I’m on a train, going out of Seoul to Jeju Island. I was reminded of the first time we’ve been separated. My family took a week long vacation to Paris. And yea sure, there was the Lourve, Mona Lisa and the Eiffel Tower but I spent the whole week just marking the days off with little crosses on my calendar. It was also the first time I wrote letters to you. Although by the time my posted letter reached you, I had already been back to Seoul. I wrote about the beautiful sights in Paris, the macarons I ate and that one rude waiter that was cursing at my family in Italian. Back then, I felt good knowing that I had someone to talk to, even if you weren’t physically there with me. Perhaps it’s the same wi
-
Mark curses when he had ran out of space on the napkin. He was too lazy to ask for another napkin so he just neatly folds the blue stained napkin and pushes it safely into his pocket. He spends the rest of the train ride looking out of the window, taking in the greenery that he hadn’t seen in awhile.
Mark is in Jeju for Taeil’s wedding. His therapist encouraged him to come, saying that it would do him some good to get some socialising. Yet, even as everyone mingles in the reception, Mark hides himself on the outside balcony, sipping on some punch.
“Hey stranger,” Doyoung says.
The familiar voice jolts him, bringing him out of his own thoughts. Eerily, he remembers that hey, stranger, was your first words to him when he returned from Paris.
“Hey,” Mark replies, giving the taller man a practiced smile. The same smile his therapist gives him at the end of every session.
“How’s it going? How are you?”
“Good now,” Mark breathes out, hoping that Doyoung doesn’t press any further. Not that he is lying, simply because Doyoung reminds him so much of you. The way his casual smile has a reassuring feeling, the way it echoes your voice in his head “I’m right here”.
And Doyoung doesn’t question him further.
They spend all evening together, Doyoung helps Mark when old friends come up to him and try to catch up by asking about you, Doyoung helps Mark when the banal table conversations bores him to death and Doyoung helps until the wedding ceremony ends. Mark can’t lie, Doyoung helps him forget momentarily about the constant thoughts and it calms him down when he’s with Doyoung.
Maybe, Mark thinks to himself, it’s because Doyoung is a clean slate who knows nothing about the past.
“I’m glad you were there,” Mark says as he enters his cab.
Doyoung stands on the road, nodding and waving at him to leave. “It’s the least I could do.”
-
Mark’s mental health only deteriorated when he arrives back in Seoul. He’s swamped with work and barely has time to breathe and so he forgets about his journal.
He pushes himself to the extreme, taking on projects after projects and numbing himself with work.
It isn’t until he comes down with a serious case of flu, rendering him almost immobile that he remembers about the journal.
-
Dear friend,
It’s been awhile. I’ve been busy at work until now. Unfortunately, no one’s home to take care of me. I’m missing your warm stews and your barrage of scolding. This ache in my heart is a familiar feeling.
I think it was the first year of high school. Of course, we ended up going to the same high school and, as luck would have it, we were in the same class. By this time, we were seventeen, and more importantly, I was seventeen. You didn’t need to hold my hand nor did you need to encourage me. Yet you were still there, right by myself as I walked into the school building.
Half-a-year of high school normalcy later, my family was turned upside down.
See, we both were very coddled, I think you would agree. Our city-lives were considerably better than many others. So my mother’s death was the first thing actual chaos that I’ve experienced.
Who would have known that taking an extra shift would have been so costly?
Mom didn’t have to be there. But she took an extra shift. She said it would go to my college fund. Mine.
She left work at 4 AM that day. Unfortunately she never reached home. A truck driver was drunk driving and, even though she had waited for the green man to light up at the intersection just in front of my home, the driver hadn’t stop.
She died on impact. There was no hoping for another outcome.
You were there with me, on the hospital floor, as I wailed, cursing God. You sobbed silently too.
A simple accident caused the family to fall apart. My dad spiralled into alcoholism and I spiralled into numbness. I lost the woman I had loved the most. The days when you would come straight to my house after school and just sigh at the mess I’ve become, before cooking me warm stew and using it to coax me out of bed.
You’d consider the day a success if I even drank just a spoonful of your soup.
I didn’t tell you but I hated that you were ever-so-polite in my house. The loud and boisterous you also seemed affected by the cursed place that was my house. I didn’t tell you but the silence within those four walls drove me crazy. It was like a hand, choking me until I couldn’t breathe. Each time you’d come over, I wished you would just talk normally. Tell me about your problems. Rant about the petty arguments you had in school. But you never did.
And I’m not blaming you. It was what it was. You did your best.
But the worse had yet to come.
When Ten had sent out a mass invite for his birthday party, you and I were both shocked to receive one. I had gotten a little better then and wanted to go out and have some fun for the first time in a while.
I saw your hesitation. “It’s Ten’s birthday party. Are you sure?”
I knew what you hinted at, the alcohol. I guess a part of you was also fearful that I’d end up like my father. And you were right to.
The thump of muffled music couple with incoherent voices were audible even before the both of us got to the house. I tried to convince you that not all frat parties are bad. That sure, alcohol’s there but there’s no harm right? You tried to shrug it off like it’s no big deal. The pungent stench of beer immediately filled our noes when we walked into Ten’s mansion, but I was used to it. This was the same odour of my father.
You shifted nervously and I wished that we had just left right there and then. But we didn’t.
“Come on,” I plead, “It’ll be fun.”
You didn’t even have the time to respond before Taeyong spotted me. I had a few classes with him before everything went south so I dragged you along toward him.
“Hey, haven’t seen you in awhile man,” Taeyong greeted me. He passed me a red sole cup and it didn’t take a genius to figure out the contents of it.
I rejected it. I knew that alcohol was a poison. I knew that I shouldn’t accept it. There must be more to parties than just loud music and alcohol… right?
My rejection caused the table to look at me curiously. I recognised some of them. Jaehyun and Johnny from the swimmers’ team were there. So was Taeil from the choir. We’ve heard of them. If life was a high school drama movie, they’ll be the clichéd popular jocks.
Suddenly, I felt the pressure to give in, the yearn for some sort of acceptance, even if superficial. You glanced at me, your eyes pleading for me to not take the cup.
I took it. But I didn’t have to drink it… right?
Taeyong smiled before handing another cup to you. I didn’t miss your desperate glances, I didn’t miss you tugging at the hem of my shirt asking for help, an excuse, anything. But I pretended I did.
Of course I did. I had to. Especially hearing how the table began to chortle unkindly at your rejection of the cup.
“Well, I guess even at a party, I shouldn’t have expected you to take it,” Taeyong said as he set the cup back on the table.
All of a sudden, I felt the predatory eyes of the people at the table. For the first time since the incident, I became the normal one whereas you were the weird one.
I should have stepped in and defended her. But I didn’t. I should have left the party and chased after you when you stumbled backwards, eyes brimming with tears before running out. But I didn’t. When the new group of friends that I found myself with started making jokes at your expense, calling you a prude, a goody-two-shoes, a bore, I should have done something, anything. But I didn’t. I laughed with them too.
The dark sadistic string within me felt… acceptance and freedom.
For the first time in our lives, we were truly, truly separated. I thought this was true liberation.
When Johnny asked me why didn’t I ditch you long ago, I didn’t tell them about how you’ve been the cornerstone of my life. Instead I replied with, “I ask myself that all the time.”
That night, as you ran away from my side and I did nothing to stop you, it felt like a new start. A clean slate. Finally I could rid myself of you, the you who knew me better than I knew myself, the you who accepted me for me, the you who’d give up your life in a heartbeat if it was for me but more importantly, the you that knew my deepest, darkest secrets.
It felt like the anchor tying me down for the past seventeen years of my life was finally removed and I could start anew.
-
Mark’s hand aches from writing a few pages worth of journal entries and he blames it on the fact that he hasn’t written anything to you in a while. He flips through the book, cringing slightly at his atrocious handwriting, before closing the journal.
A sigh parts his lips as he thinks back on the past him and how dumb he was.
His therapist told him not to indulge too much in the past, that it steals from the present moment. So he tries to suppress his thoughts and force himself to sleep. God knows he needs it.
  The next morning, or rather, afternoon when he wakes up, he feels slightly better. He checks his phone and sees that his therapist has messaged him, just to check up on him. He types a quick reply, asking to reschedule his appointment to another day.
His father, who has gotten back on his feet, left a note for Mark.
“Son, eat this and feel better! -Dad
P.S my second year of sobriety is coming up, get me present please”
Mark chuckles at his father’s little note. He drags himself to the kitchen, heating up the bowl of soup that his father had prepared. In some ways, Mark could see a silver lining to his mother’s accident. Despite the hiccup of his alcoholism, Mark’s father really grew to be a caring father. Before the accident, Mark wasn’t close to his father at all. Between business meetings and business meetings and more business meetings, Mark rarely saw his father’s shadow at home.
At least now his father takes a more active role in Mark’s life.
As Mark waits for the microwave to be done, he goes back into his room and brings his journal and pen out, setting it on the table. When the microwave finally beeps, he takes the bowl and sets it on the table.
He journals as he eats.
-
Dear friend,
I was thinking about you, and me and high school last night. And all I want to do is apologise. For everything. Like before, I don’t even know where to begin.
The party itself? Or Monday morning when I completely ignored you as you tried talked to me? Or the day in math class when Yuta made a joke about you coming late, saying you were probably selling your body to a teacher to get your good grades, and we I laughed?
I’m sorry. I’m sorry that the gang and I made your life a living hell. I’m sure that they thought it was innocent fun, to make jokes at your expense, to take everything that was good and bad about you and turn it into a joke. And I’m sorry that I laughed along.
I think I was worse than my friends. They did it to entertain themselves. But I had a hidden agenda. You were the personification of all my past hurts, my secrets and the ugly side of myself. Each joke I made, each time I harassed you, it gave me a buzz. In a twisted sense, I was trying to erase you to erase myself.
And you didn’t deserve.
I don’t think you noticed that I noticed but I did. Every time that I took a step in your general direction, I saw you flinch. And I know I shouldn’t have but I fed off your fear of me. In my twisted head, if you were scared of me, you’d never reveal the me that I wanted to hide.
Everyone just seemed to forget that you and I were ever friends. Our friendship became a faded memory for everyone. But not for me.
The hole you left in your absence had left a hole within me and I wished that the hole had blotted out my entire existence. But it didn’t.
So I continued tormenting you. Until graduation day.
Maybe I thought that it was the last time that you’d ever be in my life, so it was fine. Maybe I wanted some sort of closure from us. Maybe in the heat of the moment, the yearning for what we had took over. Either ways, it didn’t matter.
I walked towards you. Your parents were hugging you, your dad picking you up. They were proud of you. I wanted to say that too.
“Hey.”
Your flinch didn’t go unnoticed by your parents but they decided to give us space. You stayed silent, as if waiting for me to make some sick jokes, waiting for me to tear you down just like I had the past two years.
I felt sick to my stomach.
“Graduation day, huh?” I filled the awkward silence between us. “Congrats.”
You shifted uncomfortably. My stomach churned when the fearless girl I knew couldn’t even meet my eyes. “T-thanks…?” Your voice was strained.
“Where are you planning to go, uh, after all these?” I asked, rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly. A part of me was berating me for even trying to approach you.
“Why?” Your voice was soft and shaky.
At this point, the gang had noticed that we were talking. But it’s the last day of school. It felt like the last day I’m going to see you. I felt like I had to do this.
“I just… wanted to catch up?”
I noticed your clenched fist and your white knuckles. I noticed how badly they were shaking. Whether in fear or anger or something else, I would never know.
“We…” you breathed out, “We have nothing to catch up on.”
You turn to leave but I grabbed you by your wrist. Your voice was so so soft that I didn’t hear you telling me to let go until something within you snapped. Was it disgust from being touched by me?
“Stop it! Stop this… this whole thing. First you torment me for two and a half years for what? For for not wanting to drink alcohol? Sometimes I wonder if you actually even loved your parents. How could you do that to them? And me?” Your anger burned brightly in your eyes. It’s the first time your eyes met mine in years. “We were best friends. Us against the world. We did everything together. But I’m not sure if that was just me. Every single day, I playback memories of us, convincing myself that today was a nightmare. Why would my bestfriend turn against me right? Tomorrow will come and you’d be right by my side. But tomorrow never comes.” Your face was red and tears were spilling out of your eyes. People were watching. I didn’t care.
The voice that I’ve silenced for 2.5 years got louder in my head, screaming at me you deserved it. You’re the problem.
“Every single day I hope that you’d come up to me and tell me it’s all a massive prank. Do you know how that drove me crazy?” You took a deep breath, steadying your voice.
Your words were soft, but it cut through in to my heart and wretched it out. “Congratulations. You did it. You’ve won. You’ve became my biggest fear. I hope you’re happy because one of us being happy is still better than none of us.”
-
Mark’s hand stops as he wipes the salty tears that has spilled. Even now, he hates himself for what he did. Two and a half years.
He’d never return it to you.
Fate is a cruel thing.
He starts his pen up again.
-
I should have ran after you that day. But I froze up.
That image of your face streaming in tears will be burned into my mind forever. Because I never saw you again. And I never got the chance to say all the ‘sorry’s I needed.
My world was silent. Then I heard it. We all did.
A loud scream. A screech.
Sirens and chaos.
-
It takes Mark a whole week before he could bring himself to write in his journal again. He recalls the aftermath of your death.
-
His friends, at least those in his clique, tried to understand his pain.
“You’re okay, right?” Jaehyun asked a week after your death.
Mark nodded. “I’m fine, yeah.” That was a lie and everyone knew.
How could he ever explain to them – the people that bullied you – his pain and turmoil? A small voice in his head reminded him that too were part of the people that had bullied you.
Guilt crept into his throat, clutching it tight, just enough to keep him alive but still making every moment a living hell.
-
Dear friend,
I remember the box of letters your parents gave me at your funeral.
-
Mark takes the tape and tapes your last letter to him below the blue ink.
-
Hey stranger.
Today is graduation day. It’s the first graduation that I’m attending without you. And I’ve never felt more alone. It’s scary.
This will be my last letter to you. Today, I’m putting an end to my one-sided love for you.
I’m going to Oxford, do you remember when we were twelve and we promised that we’d get into Oxford together? I bet you don’t.
Then again, we also made the promise that we’d stick together forever and look where we are.
I wonder where you’ll go. I hope you’d be happy.
After everything, I’ve come to a simple conclusion: it’s nice to feel something once in a while, even if it’s pain. Because it reminds me that the first seventeen years of my life was true.
-
“So how did you find this whole, uh, journaling process?” Mark’s therapist asks at their next appointment.
Mark smiles, rather genuinely this time, “There were days that were very painful. But y’know, I think I’m starting to get this whole thing. It’s nice to feel something for once in my life, even if it’s pain. It’s a reminder that I’m alive.”
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