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purple-babygirl · 2 months

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don't call me daddy

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader

Word count: 4,826

Summary : In a world where littles are openly themselves, they volunteer to help and be helped by willing caregivers. In spite of himself, Bucky finds himself stuck with one and to keep the nagging away, he has to learn how to be around her with everything that that entails.

Warnings: Bucky is mean, a couple of insults, mistreatment of age regressed reader, crying, mentions of hot liquid getting on skin, crying, mentions of the r-word, Bucky's PTSD & nightmares

A/N: so this is an idea I've had for forever and I finally mustered up enough courage to share it with you guys. Please enjoy and let me know what you think and if you have anything you'd like to suggest for the upcoming parts. I love you 💜

“This sounds stupid,” Bucky grumbled when Sam suggested the program.

“It's not stupid, Buck and it works!”

“If it worked for you doesn't mean it's gonna work for me, Sam. You have patience and it's in your nature to want to take care of people.”

“Says the one who looked out for Steve all his life!”

“Steve was one person and he was actually dumb, he wasn’t acting like he can't fucking feed himself!”

“They're not acting. They're age regressed.” Sam tried to remain calm.

“What does that even mean!”

“It means-”

“You know what? I don't care because I'm not doing it.” Bucky smiled before leaving Sam's house and going back to hide in his own.

But Sam was persistent. He was determined to get Bucky help that would actually help. So he suggested the program to Bucky's therapist and before Bucky could punch him, she was having him sign the contract.

“Sam, I don't wanna meet anyone. It's not gonna work anyway so let's just pick any of them.”

“They're not service dogs, Bucky!”

“Really? Because that's exactly what it sounds like they are to me.”

Sam glared at him, elbowing his side as a short lady with a kind smile approached them.

Bucky didn't pay her much attention. He didn't want to be here and he didn't care what she was reciting.

Only thing that caught his attention was when she asked him what age he would prefer so she could introduce him to a group of littles.

He was dreading this. It was stupid.

“…what are you looking for?” Bucky caught the end of her talk with Sam.

“I don't know, someone who can talk like they're not retarded,” he answered the lady rudely and she smiled in understanding when Sam apologized.

“They're not retarded. All of them are perfectly healthy and okay. They're age regressed,” she told Bucky and he rolled his eyes so hard he felt they might never return from the back of his head.

He hated those two words. Age regressed, what the fuck did that even mean?

“Maybe we can meet some of the littles who are not so young, like 6 year olds?” Sam suggested and she nodded, leading them to a building with long corridors and lots of doors.

Bucky could see adult women and men playing with dolls, sleeping with pacifiers and some of them even had other people feeding them.

What the hell was this place? Did they expect him to do that? With a person perfectly capable of handling his or her own self but chooses not to?! Was this the 21st century? Because he didn’t like it very much.

The lady led them inside her office and got a group of files out of some organized drawer. She'd barely laid them out on the table before Bucky was slamming his finger on one.

“We'll take this one,” he said, staring at the lady in disinterest.

“But you haven't even seen them,” Sam said between his teeth, kicking his leg under the table. He wished Bucky cared enough to do this right.

“I've seen enough. I pick this file and I wanna leave,” Bucky seethed back.

“This is Doll. She's one of the softest littles I've ever met and I think you've made a great choice, Mr. Barnes.”

“You call her Doll?”

“Yes, real names aren't revealed for the privacy of our littles unless they decide otherwise and she chose the name herself when she joined us.” The lady smiled kindly, making Bucky even madder.

“Whatever, let's get this over with. Tell her to come so we could leave.”

“Mr. Barnes, I have to admit your attitude towards this is very concerning and I fear I cannot risk the peace of our littles who confide in us to find them safe partners! Like I said she's one of the gentlest and I need to know you're going to treat her right before I even let you meet her!” The woman voiced her concerns and Bucky sighed.

He couldn't blow this now. He's come far enough with this whole process and if he went back to his therapist like that she was definitely going to get out her dreadful notebook.

He had to take this girl home tonight or else they would make him go through this same process over and over again.

“I'm sorry, I'm just a little confused, I guess.” Bucky scratched his beard.

“That's okay.” She smiled again, “most of our visitors are, but you can always ask.”

“Well- what is wrong with them?!” He exclaimed, gesturing with his hands in the air. Sam kicked him again and glared.

“What? She said I could ask!”

“It's okay,” she told Sam with a chuckle.

“Nothing is wrong with them. Them regressing in age is their way to cope and relieve anxiety or deal with other mental illnesses such as traumatic experiences, or even just stress. It's a freer, calmer state of mind for them to return to when it's no longer easy for them to be big.”

Her calm, kind manner while explaining this made Bucky even angrier inside. This wasn’t normal and they should all stop acting like it was.

“So they're supposed to be helping me with my issues but they're dealing with their own issues?”

Like he originally thought, this was stupid.

“Yes, it's a mutual helping program.” The lady confirmed.

“Oh. And what's this Doll's issue?”

“Doll reverts to age regression as a coping mechanism for her depression and PTSD. She's been doing great lately actually!”

“Is she suddenly gonna go grownup or-?” Bucky continued, involuntarily asking every question on his mind.

“No, like I said, Doll reverts to little space for the comfort and safety of it and while she can coax herself out of her headspace, she rarely ever chooses to.”

“But she can?”

“Yes. But I need to tell you, Mr. Barnes, that this is not why you're here.” She reminded, wanting to ensure the safety of self expression for the little one.

“I know.”

“I also need you to promise me to be a good caregiver for her. She's a sweet girl and I can guarantee she will be good for you.”

“I promise.” Bucky knew he was lying but he couldn’t care less about his honesty at the moment.

“And it’s never acceptable to make fun of her or try to force her into a more grownup headspace. That only makes it worse and her mind regresses further.”

“So what she becomes younger?!” he was trying so hard not to get frustrated, why make him!

“That's correct.” She nodded.

“How young?” Sam asked.

“The youngest she's ever been is 4.”

“Oh.” Great. Just great.

“She can still talk just fine,” she reassured them, knowing Bucky didn't want anyone who couldn't talk or seemed 'retarded'.

“Okay, good.” Bucky nodded, wanting to get out of the place as soon as possible.

“Would you like to meet Doll now or do you wanna take a look at the rest of the files?”

“I'll meet her.” Bucky stood up, hand already at the doorknob.

The meeting thing went relatively well and Bucky was surprised the girl wasn't intimidated by his frown or intense stare. She was mesmerized by the metal arm even.

He wasn't going to lie to himself, he still thought this whole thing was dumb but he needed to convince his therapist and everyone that he was okay again so they'd leave him alone.

She didn’t ask him any questions or have any conditions. She just stared at him with wide, sparkly eyes.

A minute later he heard the girl whisper her agreement to the short lady.

Apparently, she was big enough to make the decision to leave with a strange man she didn't know but not enough to properly dress herself or sleep without a damn toy.

Bucky was relieved anyway; glad she was idiotic enough to choose him so he wouldn't have to meet with any other 'littles'. And she wasn't ugly to look at either.

The old lady had a word with her privately before she was packing a bag and they were on their way to Bucky’s place.

“Where do I stay, daddy?”

Bucky hasn’t said a word to her since they’d left the institution. He made her carry her bag from the car to the elevator and from the elevator inside the apartment. He wasn’t going to be nobody’s maid.

She was physically capable and that didn’t need a professional to see it.

“I don’t know, figure it out.” Bucky shrugged, kicking his shoes off by the door and stepping inside.

She followed his lead and neatly placed her shoes at the corner by the door as well.

“Where do you want me to stay, daddy?” she asked politely, wanting to make him comfortable, seeing he was the owner of the house.

He was making her a little nervous.

This wasn’t his energy back at the institution and she tried her best not to get scared.

“I don't want you. I never did,” Bucky told her the minute she sat on his couch, throwing his keys on the wooden coffee table, “We're just gonna pretend your presence here is changing something and then I'm gonna return you.”

I don't want you.

She's definitely heard that before.

Return her. Like she was some sort of item. She wasn't what he wanted and it cracked her trained-to-love heart.

“Yes, daddy,” she replied brokenly, tears threatening to spill over the rims of her eyes.

Nothing was worse than feeling unwanted.

“Don't call me that.” Bucky snapped.

“B-But you're my daddy.” She was seriously confused now. Why would he pick her if he didn’t want this?

“I'm not your anything and stop acting so small, you look grown up enough to me.”

Why did he take her home if he didn’t like her and didn’t want to be her Daddy?

“I'm not acting.” Tears rolled down her cheeks and she felt more insecure than ever.

“Yeah, yeah, you're age regressed. Whatever, just don't call me that. I'm no one's daddy.” Bucky took his shirt off throwing it on the couch beside her, making her flinch.

“But what should I call you if not-”

“Call me Mr. Barnes, if you're so keen on being polite.” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She sniffled.

“And stop crying.” He huffed.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She quickly wiped at her face, holding the rest of her tears inside and forcing the lump in her throat further down.

Bucky muttered something under his breath before snatching his shirt and leaving to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him as she flinched again.

He didn't say she was a good girl for calling him what he wanted, or for stopping her crying when she was told to. He didn't like her and he wanted to return her.

What was she supposed to do until he sent her back? He didn't want her help even if they said he needed it.

Was it going to be like this for the next 3 months? How was she going to do all of the grown up stuff if Daddy Mr. Barnes didn't help her? How was she going to live? And why did she still care to try her best to be good for the harsh, blue-eyed man?

She didn’t know what to do so she sloppily changed her clothes by herself, putting her socks in the hamper to be washed like a good girl.

She washed her hands and feet by herself, unknowingly making Bucky think he was right all along about letting her do things on her own as she should.

That was until he put a hot cup of instant noodles before her for dinner though. He refused to help her eat and she accidentally spilled hot soup over her hand and the wooden table. It was chaos.

Bucky cursed out loud and she started crying in pain.

He had enough pity on her to drag her to the bathroom and put her hand under the cold water. If his hold on her arm hurt, she didn’t say anything.

“Keep it there, don’t you dare move.”

“Mr. Barnes, don’t leave,” she sniffled, eyes red and in pain.

“I’m not leaving you in the Sahara desert.” Bucky rolled his eyes, “I gotta go clean the mess you made.” He left her in the bathroom and she kept her hand under the water, not daring to move like she was told.

“How hard is it to eat fucking noodles! It’s not quantum physics!”

Bucky muttered angrily as he wiped the soup off the table with a cloth.

“Fuck that age regression shit I am done!” he took their noodle cups to the kitchen and dumped both in the bin.

“What are you still doing in there! It’s not like you got burnt by lava!” Bucky shouted to her, walking to the bathroom.

“I- I- Mr. Barnes, you told me not to move.” She began crying again at his angry demeanor.

“For fuck’s sake,” Bucky groaned, “do you ever stop crying?!”

“I’m s-sorry.” She hiccupped. She didn’t know what to say or how to please him she just wanted him to stop glaring at her. She was scared.

“Get out of there and dry your hands,” Bucky told her, sitting on the couch with a sigh.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” Came her chocked whisper.

“Does it hurt?” Bucky asked when she came out of the bathroom, tears drying on her cheeks.

The question surprised her. Maybe he did care after all.

“Burns a little,” she told him, pointing to the back of her hand where the skin got burnt.

“I might have a cream here somewhere,” he said, trying his best to keep an unconcerned expression on.

She took a look around when Bucky stood up to look in the kitchen. It was a cozy place and she wasn’t too needy but she couldn’t help but wonder about where she was going to sleep.

There didn’t seem to be enough furniture in here.

“Try not to touch it and you should be fine in the morning,” Bucky instructed after applying the burns cream to the sensitive area of skin.

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” She whispered before absentmindedly pecking Bucky’s cheek.

Bucky’s eyes widened at her guts. He certainly didn’t see that coming. It was her first night here how was she so bold!

His breath stuttered out of his lungs but he quickly recomposed himself.

Bucky’s jaw clenched and he gave her a dark stare.

“Do you have a death wish?”

“N-No.” She quickly shook her head.

“Did I give you permission to do that?”

“No.” She shook her head again, sort of knowing where this was going. She was going to get punished.

“Then why’d you do it?” Bucky sneered through his teeth.

“To th-thank Mr. Barnes.” He made her so nervous she could barely hear herself answer him.

Bucky hated her. She had no sense of boundaries. He hated the way she cried all the time. He hated the way she referred to him in third person.

He hated her.

“You already said that, didn’t you?”

She nodded.

“Don’t do it again.” Was all Bucky said and she was relieved.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky scoffed and stood up to put the cream back where he found it.

Turned out, Bucky had no bed. He slept on the floor and he didn’t need one.

“But where do I sleep, Mr. Barnes?” She asked in a small voice.

“Anywhere that is not next to me,” Bucky replied, not even sparing her a glance.

“Can I sleep here?” she asked, patting the couch.

“Suit yourself.”

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes.” She gave a shy smile.

“I didn’t make the damn couch. Just go to sleep.”

“Bad word again,” she whispered.

“What was that?” Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing.” She slammed a hand on her mouth.

“Repeat what you just said if you know what’s good for you.” Bucky glared.

“I- Mr. Barnes said a bad word,” she whispered shakily.

“Yeah, well, it’s my house! I’ll talk however I want!” Bucky raised his voice.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She nodded, not even thinking about arguing that he shouldn’t curse in front of a little.

“Go to sleep.”

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She quickly plopped on the couch, covering herself with a blanket, and burying her face in a cushion.

Bucky almost chuckled; almost thought it was cute but he shook the smile off his face quickly and sighed, taking his shirt off and getting himself on the hard floor, easily falling asleep.

He always falls asleep so fast because nightmares usually wake him up few hours after; he be waiting for bed time all day.

She peeked from under the blanket when she heard Bucky snore, carefully tiptoeing to her bag to get her stuffie. She took one look at shirtless Bucky, her cheeks heating up, before sliding back under the covers on the couch.

Her Daddy that didn’t like to be called Daddy was beautiful.

It has started again. He’s chasing a person, he corners them to where they could not run anymore, his left hand wraps around their throat, they struggle and beg and then snap. He kills them.

Bucky startled awake, having a hard time taking his breath only to find her on the floor next to him.

Her eyes were full of worry and maybe even sympathy as she clutched a stuffed animal. Bucky didn’t like it.

“It’s okay, Daddy- Mr. Barnes. ‘T was just a bad dream.” She whispered, dropping her stuffie to wrap her short arms around Bucky.

He wouldn’t admit it but it felt nice to be held. Something inside him wanted to succumb to the gentleness of her gesture. But Bucky shut that down at once.

“Get off,” Bucky huffed tiredly as the girl clung to him and rubbed his sweaty back.

“But-”

“Get. Off.” He repeated, grinding his teeth and she reluctantly slipped off his lap and went back to her spot on the floor.

She stared at him as he panted and frowned for a second before leaving the room.

Bucky scoffed, rubbing a hand down his hot face. She probably went to cry in the bathroom again; such a crybaby.

Except she didn’t.

She returned with a relatively cool glass of water, only half full. She didn't want to be bad and spill.

“I got you water, Mr. Barnes.” She carefully got on her knees and offered him the cup.

“Stop saying my name so much.” Bucky snatched the cup out of her hand, gulping down the water without showing an ounce of gratitude.

She pouted, crawling to her bag to get him tissues because she didn’t see any around.

“So you do know how to act around liquids after all.” Bucky taunted, still not over the fact that she spilled soup over his table before taking the tissues from her to wipe his forehead.

“Do you want me to sing you a lullaby, Mr. Barnes? It helps me after bad dreams.” She suggested, desperately hoping he would let her help.

“Not all of us act like kids to flee our nightmares.”

“Mr. Barnes.” Her eyes filled with tears and it was the last thing Bucky wanted to deal with, “I’m not acting.”

She was hurt but he didn’t care. He said what he said.

“Get back on the couch, I wanna go to sleep.” Bucky dismissed, pushing the empty glass against the wall.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.” She whispered dejectedly, taking her friend and crawling back to the couch.

The same thing happened every night for another four nights. At this point she was really worried about the man she started singing lullabies anyway, not waiting for his permission.

“Hey, you!”

“Doll,” she corrected.

“Whatever! Shut up already. I told you I don’t need your stupid singing.” Bucky growled into his pillow.

He was lying. He hated admitting it but he was. Her voice was actually angelic. He never went back to sleep again after a nightmare but that changed when she ignored his wishes and started singing. Bucky could drift off again to her soft voice.

He could get more hours of nightmareless sleep because of her lullabies. But he was too stubborn to admit anything that came from her was working for him.

It must be a coincidence. He probably fell asleep again because he was exhausted from being mad at her all day.

“I know Mr. Barnes doesn’t need it. It’s for me.” She lied as well. She knew lying wasn’t good girl like but she was helping Mr. Barnes; it was for good reason.

“Mr. Barnes,” her small voice called to him but Bucky was ignoring her.

He was pretending he couldn’t hear her and continued staring at the TV because she talked too much for his liking.

“Mr. Barnes.” She ever so lightly touched Bucky’s arm.

“What!” he spit suddenly, making her jump.

“We- We need to go shopping. Mrs. Morrison will visit tomorrow.”

She knew the process and for some reason didn’t want to be taken away from Bucky.

If Mrs. Morrison came and saw the way the apartment was or the way Bucky treated Doll, she was definitely going to make her leave with her.

“What?!”

“It’s day five.” She reminded, tilting her head to the side.

“Yeah, so?” Bucky’s body fully turned to face her.

“It’s visit day. We have to go shopping.”

“How do I know you’re not lying just to get me to buy you things?”

“I don’t lie, Mr. Barnes.” She assured him, looking hurt at even the suggestion.

“It’s in the papers,” she told him, referring to the contract he’s signed as well as the guide he was provided with her file before leaving the institution.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her, but stood up to look at the papers he’d carelessly shoved in a drawer in the kitchen a few days ago.

“Shit,” he muttered when he saw she wasn’t lying. He heard her whisper bad word but chose to ignore it.

There were scheduled visits listed with different time intervals between each visit for the next three months.

Bucky groaned, throwing the paper sheet back in the drawer and slamming it shut.

“Put your clothes on, we’re going fucking shopping.”

“Bad word.”

“Don’t even-” she ran to the bathroom to change before Bucky could get angrier.

What has Sam gotten him into?

“Why’s your hair so messy!” Bucky asked, shoving her out of his way to grab a jar of peanut butter and put in the cart.

“I don’t know how to do it on my own an’ Mr. Barnes kept telling me to hurry up.”

Her voice was so small and if Bucky wasn’t so infuriated by the situation he would’ve felt bad for how he spoke to her.

“You’d think you’d actually look decent enough after taking forever to get ready.” Bucky huffed.

She remained silent, looking down and closing in on herself.

“Do you eat this?” Bucky asked, waving a box of corn flakes in front of her.

“Yes, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky nodded, throwing the box in the cart.

“Didn’t I tell you to stop saying my name so much?”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Barn-” Bucky’s cold stare stopped the word on her tongue.

“Call me Bucky.”

He didn’t want her to call him Bucky. But if that Mrs. Morrison was visiting tomorrow she couldn’t know he made her speak to him formally.

“Bucky?”

“Bucky.”

“Yes, Bucky.” She smiled shyly, feeling one step closer to the man.

Bucky didn’t know his life would turn upside down so fast.

He never cared about grocery shopping because he didn’t need that much stuff and he mostly ate at restaurants or diners or bought take out. He mainly just had beer filling his fridge.

But with her tied to him now he was buying all kinds of food: fresh vegetables and fruits, juice boxes, snack bars and way too many Oreos. Not to mention the toiletries he had to pay for because aside from her tooth and hair brushes, she came with nothing.

“Bucky, can we please get this?” she asked, pointing to a stuffed white wolf.

“No, you already have one at home. I see it every night.”

“Please, Bucky, please. Pretty please,” she begged, giving puppy eyes and pressing her palms together even.

“Okay, fine, shut up. God!” Bucky grumpily put the toy in the cart and got them to the nearest cashier before she could pick anything else.

She was so happy and was going to cherish her new stuffie more than ever.

Bucky was pacing back and forth in the living room. He needed to find a way to convince her not to tell Mrs. Morrison or whatever her name was how he treated her.

He didn’t want her to know she had any type of power over him because of the situation.

Bucky definitely wasn’t going to say please, but he also knew he couldn’t scare her into saying what he wanted.

“Bucky, please go to bed. Wolfie can’t sleep.” She whined, hugging her newest stuffie to her heart.

Bucky gave her yet another hard glare. She made him so angry that sometimes he forgot how to function. She was so spoiled and oblivious.

“I won’t say anything to Mrs. Morrison,” she whispered.

“You think I care what you have to say?! They could take you right now for all I care!” Bucky replied angrily.

“I know…” she mumbled, “I don’t want them to.”

Her words left Bucky without a reply. He was confused. She didn’t want to leave? Why not? Bucky hasn’t said one kind word to her since she’s been entrusted to him.

Was she some type of masochist?

“I wanna stay with Bucky. Sing him lullabies and eat noodles with him,” she said, her voice soft and heavy with sleep, before her eyes shut as she drifted off.

Her words put Bucky at ease for now and he got on the floor to finally try to get some sleep. He tried to ignore the way they affected him though.

“Bucky,” she called gently.

“Hmm.”

“I need to shower,” came her timid whisper.

“Do you see me using the bathroom?! Help yourself.” Bucky huffed, stirring the sugar in his mug.

“I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?!” he snapped, throwing the spoon in the sink.

“I need Bucky’s help.” Her face was on fire with embarrassment of having to say this out loud.

“For fuck’s sake,” Bucky rolled his eyes, pushing his mug aside before grabbing her arm and pushing her to the bathroom.

She whimpered as they stood before the glass door of the shower.

“This, because you’re not stupid you’re just age regressed, opens the hot water.” Bucky pointed to the tap handle on the right. “This opens the cold water. And this-”

“Bucky, that’s not what I need help with.” She shook her head, biting down on her lip.

“What do you want from me then?!” Bucky had no patience and her bashfulness wasn’t helping.

She raised her arms up before whispering, “I need Bucky to gimme a shower.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Bad word.”

“Don’t start now! You don’t know how to shower?!”

She shook her head, pouting as her eyes got teary again, “not when little.”

“This is bullshit. I didn’t even wanna do this. Damn you, Sam Wilson!” Bucky said, walking out of the bathroom angrily as she trailed behind him like the lost puppy she was.

“Bad word.”

“Stop!” Bucky boomed and she put her hands behind her back timidly.

“Please, Bucky,” she begged, getting hold of his hand.

“No! On my dead body!”

“Stand straight or I swear I’m gonna leave you here and go!”

“Yes, Bucky,” she giggled, the water trickling down her spine tickling her.

“Now what?” he huffed, trying not to stare at her naked chest.

“Now, this.” She held up the bottle of conditioner for him and Bucky sighed before taking it and squeezing some on his hand.

He was about to smooth it down her scalp when she moved away.

“No, no! This goes on the ends or else it gives you dandruff,” She said and Bucky would’ve facepalmed so hard if it wasn’t for the slippery matter covering his palms.

This was going to be long.

She was fast asleep on Bucky’s couch after her shower, so peaceful and without a care in the world.

Bucky envied her as he got in place on the floor. He really wished he had enough flexibility in him to accept help and care from someone.

But no, he didn't need her. He didn't need any of this. He just had to go through tomorrow and the rest will figure itself out.

Yeah, yeah just tomorrow for now, Bucky thought as he drifted off.

part II

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evilminji · 7 months

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You know what's a terrifying team up?

Paulina and Sam.

But IMAGINE~☆

You are young, Hot(tm), in Love with a Hero who very EXSISTANCE is illegal. Head of the cheer squad and queen bee of your school. Managing the complexe ever shifting social calander of both your school AND your personal life, your flawless grades, even MORE flawless complexion. You. Get. Shit. DONE.

Was falling in love with a dreamy dead hero from beyond the veil part of your 20 year plan? No. Did you adapt? Yes!

But. There is a PROBLEM. The Tacky In White. Those STUPID laws. Who the FUCK are you supposed to marry the love of your life if he's being HUNTED BY THE GOVERMENT?! You REFUSE to have your wedding in international waters! Half your family gets SEA SICK!

So you plan. Social pressure. Soft power. Turn THE PEOPLE against the Goverment and it WILL bow. They'll have no choice. Enough anger? Enough rioting? The risk of LOSING their dearly beloved POWER? Laws? WHAT laws? Toss them in the bin!

Then a spring wedding for Pauly~♡

She just needs her PEOPLE. The BEAUTIFUL people. Socialites and celebrities. Pretty, pretty faces that speak gospel to their masses. If THEY say ghosts are good? Then ghosts are good! And she can TOTALLY convince them to rally behind this!

.....she just needs ACCESS.

Fuck.

Uuuuugh. So she drags herself, reluctantly and for LOVE, to the Nerd Table. To talk to... *scrunch* Samantha. Blegch.

Do it for the cause, Pauly.

And? Dispite being SUPER lame and totally hostile at first? She's actually totally done to help? Really??? Huh. That's... Like? They're never gonna be FRIENDS or anything... but that... means a lot.

Thanks.

It's awkward. And obviously she doesn't want to catch NERD. So she leaves. But like? She wasn't TOTALLY awful. Paulina's mom was right. They really ARE growing up, aren't they? Weird.

Regardless. She has her IN. Billionaire, soft heart, and a GORGEOUS face. Brucie "Prince of Gotham" Wayne is holding a party. And Paulina? Is going to make him CRY. His kids too.

Those Tacky in White bastards are gonna be hunting ghost puppies and beating up ghost grannies. She's gonna get the nerd squad to make her fact sheets. Statistics! Wait for her Ghost Boy, help is coming. Paulina Sánchez is gonna make SURE of it!

@hdgnj @ailithnight @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @dcxdpdabbles @mutable-manifestation

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dc x dp prompt #dcxdp

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vendettasfanfictioning · 4 months

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The Nightmare of Zoldyck (Musical) was gay as fuck and here's why you should watch it.

Bingeing The Nightmare of Zoldyck reminds me just. Just how fucking gay it was??????? And this was made almost 11 years ago???? And it's just so insane and surreal to me?????? They could've added any sort of twist to the Zoldyck Arc and yet the twist they chose was 🌈🏳️‍🌈??? In all fairness, they did also add Hisoka so maybe that's just how it is lmao

Now you may think I'm joking or being delusional—but no I swear THEY MADE IT GAY AS FUCK OK. IT'S ACTUALLY AMAZING

First, we have the obvious; the adorable, blossoming friendship between Gon and Killua. The very reason this arc exists is because Gon refused to let Illumi's teachings corrupt Killua's self-esteem. It's so, so, so touching in the manga and both anime adaptations, but in the musical they just... The songs just made it come off more romantic?

I'm biased, I love the friends-to-lovers development these two undergo, but I swear, take the shipping goggles off and it's still has a subtle if not in-your-face obvious, romantic tone.

Why? First, the presentation. The Zoldycks are introduced by Milluki through song. They each get lines which are backed up by epic music and stage effects, come together for the iconic chant of, "Zoldyck," before ultimately gathering around and sitting down.

Kalluto, Kikyo, Illumi, Silva, Milluki, and Zeno have a family meeting while Killua's hung above them, representing where he is in the dungeon, and right off the bat, you get hit with "forbidden romance" vibes.

The family talks about what Killua did, what he said, while Killua sings about how he doesn't want to inherit his dad's position. HE ALSO SINGS THIS LINE WHICH IS SO?????

And he sings a little after Illumi visits him in the dungeon and, y'know, messes with his head even more. He writes a letter of sorts to Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio, telling them they should go to protect them from Illumi and he just sounds SO heartbroken...

Then we skip forward, this is after the gang has won Gotou's approval. Gon writes a letter, and it's so fucking sweet because it's basically him saying look. Look at Zebro, Gotou, Canary, these people who care for you, who love you. You're not alone, we understand your feelings, ok? AND THIS PANEL IN PARTICULAR IS SO RAPUNZEL SO ROMEO AND JULIET IDK

And that super serious discussion between Killua and Silva? He gushes about Gon a lot, and they really took some liberties with Silva because this man keeps grinning like he knows his son's got a crush.

And of course Gon's not gonna back down. Canary asks how their Young Master Killua was like, outside Kukuroo Mountain, and... just look.

I'm not gonna include every damn time they sing together but when they finally meet? They're so. so happy. I can't.

And there's this scene after the party (yes they have a goodbye party of sorts for Killua) where Killua thanks Gon for coming to get him and Gon says ofc we're friends and they play around and they're so happy together...

Look at them they ded

There's also this moment when it all goes to shit and THIS SONG SLAPS Gon metaphorically slaps Killua out of it too but just. Just listen to it, it made me cry

And since this happens right after the Hunter's Exam, Kurapika and Leorio are still a bit wary of Killua, so while Gon's ecstatic and unwavering about being Killua's friend, the other two sort of bond in the sidelines as well?

Take this shot of leopika dancing. It's short and sweet and they're so stupid but they're at least getting along!!!

I forgot they bickered a lot, especially during the Hunter's Exam, but now look at them. This isn't the gayest part though, because Leorio finds out there's a hot spring in the Zoldyck mansion... and... yeah... I'll let y'all watch this scene for yourselves but uh, stuff happens and I fucking screamed is all

LIKE LOOK THESE MFS END UP STAR GAZING TOO COME ON

They also share a bit in the end where Gon sniffs Zebro??? And he says that Zebro has a similar scent to Leorio??? And leopika turn to each other and go:

LIKE HELLO?? HELLOOOOO???

And of course, I saved the murder husbands for last. While the gang have their fun, we would sometimes cut to black and these two would be shown, scheming in the dark and talking about their own plans.

They be dropping some bomb ass dialogues tho

AND APPARENTLY ILLUMI GAVE HISOKA A TOUR LMAO

Mind you, there is no fucking explanation as to why Hisoka's there. His narrative purpose is ofc to sow chaos and stir trouble, look out for Gon or whatever, but why is he here specifically in the Zoldyck Estate is never stated. BUT he does refer to it as a vacation. Twice.

Like sure this is just him being a little shit but COME ON. If Illumi really didn't want him there, he'd have chased Hisoka out, swatting him with a broom while at it. But no. They scheme in the dark and Illumi shows him around and Hisoka says it's a vacation. Wonder who could've invited him.......

This interaction also happens. And I will only be thinking about this for the foreseeable future.

HISOKA CHASES AFTER HIM OFFSCREEN IT'S KINDA CUTE AND ALSO RUINING MY LIFE????

Insane that the killugon heart-to-heart, leopika hot spring moment, and hisoillu bickering happen back to back to back. They're all paired off. The way they switch the audience's perspective actually really satisfying. Each couple gets their alone time and it's like seeing the different stages of a relationship. INSANE and HELLA GAY

And, of course, the heart of the cards—easily one of the most iconic lines Hisoka's said, which is, coincidentally, the point of conflict of the entire musical

While Killua's fighting for his life, here's the magician who's basically getting everything he's ever wanted served on a silver platter. This mf is so happy he got to fight Illumi's family lmaoooo

AND HE SAYS IT TWICE!!!!

ONLY FOR MAMA ZOLDYCK TO MIC DROP WITH THIS IN THE END

I just. I love this musical so much. It used to be my comfort watch when I first got into HxH, and while I joke about how fucking gay it turned out to feel (I'm being serious about it though) I do think it's a great production.

The actors did amazing, the dance/fight sequences and the dialogue were so well done, and it just added so much depth to the Zoldycks, y'know? I do wish Alluka was here, but we all know why she's not... That would've been so fun though.

Anyways, if I've convinced you, then you can watch it here!!!

youtube

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quitealotofsodapop · 5 months

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I love how, no matter the au; Guanyin, the Goddess/Bodhisattva of Mercy & Compassion, patron deity of motherhood and childbirth

Is absolutely gotdamn furious at Sun Wukong for having a Stone Egg.

She's gonna help deliver and bless the baby, yes - but afterwards she's gonna give that monkey *such* a talking-to!

Tang's moment of fanboy-glee pauses as he sees the Bodhisattva slowly remove one of her sandals as she approaches Wukong...

Image: Aphrodite threatening Eros with her sandal. A trope as old as time.

The only reason she doesnt smite Wukong then and there is cus the monkey is sobbing at how beautiful his baby is. Guanyin gets hit with Grandma feelings and immediately starts fawning over the infant too. <3

Guanyin, cooing at the baby: "Oh my darling!! You are truly a miracle! So many years in the making and you've finally arrived! Your baba/mama has gone through so much just to meet you!'

Baby (MK, Luzhen, or Yuebei): *delighted chirping as they play with Guanyin's hair*

Wukong, in postal-natal recovery: "Aww! I knew you'd come around."

Guanyin: *shoots SWK a glare that sends chills up his spine* "I'll get to you later young man."

Wukong: *shudders with fear*

No matter the Stone Egg baby who hatches out, Wukong is def crying with joy so great that the world around him feels it. He's waited *so long* for this to happen. All his work, all that he's sacrificed to be a Stone Monkey able to meet the next generation has come to fruitition.

He doesn't even care about the multiple gods/sworn family members yelling at him for doing something so stupid.

Even if he's not on good terms with Macaque or the Demon Bull Family, they're super happy for him and admit that it's a damn cute baby.

Fight over whos the godparents *immediately* breaks out XD

#guanyin #sun wukong #lmk guanyin #stone egg talk #slow boiled stone egg au #SWK is MK's stone egg dad au #jttw stone egged au #the monkey king and the infant #the monkey king and the infant au #pregnancy tw

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imustbenuts · 4 days

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im free from yakuza kiwami 2. fuck the writing in this one. this was a complete mess of pulling from the most popular generic east asian drama tropes at the time of 2006 and having it be handled by a super inexperienced writer at the helm.

i went from having no expectations, got somewhat surprised, only to end up downing alcohol and laughing hysterically before the credits rolled. so that should set the mood for how i feel about this one. thought vomit under the cut, a lot of info dump about culture incoming

yakuza kiwami 2 is pure heterosexual east asian romance bullshit.

im gonna just. describe as best as i can what i know and remember from the general media coming out from the 90s to the 2010s in around this part of the world before i just start explaining why i think this story is a mess.

so. 2 parts i swear is responsible for this rubbish.

1) East Asian Beauty Standard

the general consensus for a beautiful feminine woman AT THE TIME in this sphere is the following

be willowy thin (fat = lazy and ugly)

have black hair that ISNT short (dyed = too much individuality, too much WESTERN INDIVIDUALISM, gasp how dare!)

fair skinned (bc dark = she works in the fields and is from a lower class)

young. if you heard of the term "Christmas Cake" in japan context, yeah. (ie women over age of 25 are undesirable)

be educated and refined, bc that indicates class and femininity (failing this means shes vulgar and gasp like a barbarian)

be submissive to her male peers in the sense that her authority cannot override his at least in public (for the sake of his face)

dresses feminine and not like a man (trousers and jeans are man-ish. traditional clothing, skirts and dresses are preferred. the further back the stronger this sentiment is.)

incidentally, theres a lot of classism tied to this EABS due to sinocentric culture influences. it has to do with the chinese court system and how korea and japan copied it and a lot of the culture wholesale but. anyway. thats like over 1000 years of history in there thats not really worth detouring to rn.

and also, the worth of a man is sometimes (not always) upheld by how classy and feminine this wife of his is. as of 2024 though, this line of thought is still around in the more conservative pockets. also, the education might not matter as much these days as how deep her and her parents' pockets and wealth are.

moving on.

2) media tropes

so. off the top of my head.

if you wanted a popular romance drama in this time period, the popular offerings no matter where you looked tended to offer the same flavors of tropes.

the woman always has dark hair, is fair skinned, thin and younger than her male love interest. ive never seen this broken or subverted in my time absorbing via osmosis the dramas playing on local tv growing up in the early 2000s.

everything else about her can be subverted though. sometimes she can wear fancy pants or have short hair to indicate her strong individualism. BUT, her personality no matter how strong it begins, no matter how her intro begins will 99% of the time encounter an effect where catching feelings turns her into a meek loyal woman to her love interest.

bc she cant override his authority in this culture context.

at worst, she becomes highly irrational and even hysterical in the dramas when bad things happen. this includes things like love triangle, or a fallout of family business, drama, plot or whatever. she would cry and sometimes even die.

see: sawamura yumi. sayama kaoru.

meanwhile, the male love interest can be anything. ive seen middle aged guys to young good looking upcoming actors playing the lead, with looks varying from haggardly okay to young and handsome. it. really depends on the genre.

depending on what specific country it came from, the drama would have the male either grow, become manlier (by learning honor ig), become stupid in the name of love, but he rarely if ever actually dies. the woman effectively becomes yoshi for mario to lauch off on when they're crossing a chasm

the romance is forced. a lot of the BIG LOVE SPARK ie kissing happens in tense moments bc it builds drama, but in reality comes too fucking close to sexual assault (some of the old jackie chan movies does this iirc for slapstick even)

see: sayama getting kissed right after handling her biological father's ashes less than 24 hours ago and admitting to kiryu that shes scared. this scene right fucking here.

bc in general, the scriptwriters for popular dramas tended to be guys themselves and tended to write more human dudes. and the women in the stories are reflective of the ideal societal expectation at the time: being a Refined Housewife.

so her character development is often headed in the direction of marriage and being a stay at home mom.

if it sounds a little like tradwife bullshit, it is.

Refined Housewife

(i have massive negative thoughts about this which i KNOW for a fact is a thing bc a lot of these societal culture femininity was impressed on me as a kid in a world where it was already getting increasingly impossible to have 1 spouse be a SAHP. and also i hated the whole thing about giving face to the patriarch of the house when i personally saw so much ego dick measuring from my uncles. anyway understand that this is both a bias an a lived experience, so proceed with that in mind)

there is a problem with the Refined Housewife expectation: education.

in general, education has been a good metric to judge how classy or smart one is in asia's largely on-the-surface meritocracy based culture. people will look at each other's school first and then judge them from there, and pretty hard too.

so everyone regardless of gender will be expected to study super hard. and bc having good test scores and going to good schools looks good for the family's face, parents will often pile on tuition to the child to get them a leg up in life.

bc also no good degree from good school means no future.

but then... the woman is expected to be a housewife. 🙃 meaning... the education, her accomplishments, are kinda... tossed away in this context. put a pin in this.

it wont matter how much she studied or accomplished, bc the expectation is that the woman would marry and obey her husband, and give him face/honor that way. the kids will come eventually bc having kids = being filial to ones parents in this context.

also uh. no, having adopted kids is not thought of as being filial. continuing the bloodline is.

and if you've been paying attention, then yes, ive been skirting around the backbone of sayama kaoru's writing foundations this entire time.

Her story has been butchered so clumsily i cant even...

lets just. ugh.

she fits the EABS standard, her tropes are trying to subvert the expectations of a womanly woman in this context, she has IMPRESSIVE education and career achievements. she works in a male dominated field, and is keenly aware of sexism. she is strong, stronger than her male peers, at least we are told.

by 2006s standards, its still considered a fresh take with those alone in japan. sexism there is its own flavor of crap. (if you noticed ive not spoken about LGBTQ+ stuff at all, its bc how ridiculously BINARY the expectation is at that point in time. it still is today but less so)

however, the writing has this sense of trying to copy the popular tropes at the time while not fully understanding and dissecting them, and ends up butchering sayama's character before the romance even properly began.

i mean, for fucks sake even, sayama and kiryu has a whopping 14 year age gap. when im told these are supposed to be believable people living in japan, this is too big for me to just go 'oh ok!'. and remember the Christmas Cake thing? shes 25. (FUCKING--!!!! !!)

the problem here that i see is the writer trying to apply all of those while trying to play the tropes straight. trying to imitate. trying to make a statement but then finding out theres nothing within yourself to stand by what you want to say and backtracking.

we are told:

sayama is strong yet she goes down with 1 slap by random thugs and needing kiryu to come in and body them. because romance ig.

we are told shes a yakuza hunter but she doesnt scare a single one beyond her introductory scene.

she goes from defiant and bossing kiryu around to getting her actions overridden by kiryu and ryuji, both men, towards the end

her subtext is that shes not feminine and therefore conventionally undesirable, but then kiryu tells her shes actually feminine and therefore desired, as if its all that matters.

she becomes so stricken by grief and freaked out that she runs off solo to deal with ryuji in the most out of left pocket planning ive ever fucking seen.

and then yells as she takes out her police baton to take down the big yakuza dude, drawing attention and turning herself into a hostage.

i know the writing will fumble but i didnt expect it to fumble this bad.

for all the good the surface chemistry kiryu and sayama has, its being undermined by a fundamental failure to understand tropes and then using said tropes as a crutch so much that everything here has become a bloody mess.

this failure of over-relying on tropes without understanding them extends to yumi too. sawamura yumi was young and beautiful, and became the Refined Housewife to the Not-Male-MC and ends up regretting it, and gets killed for it.

her defining trait is that she is beautiful in subtext. thats. thats what the tattoo is. in a world where the tattoo makeths the person, thats what she is and all that she is.

dear lord.

ive read up a bit more on sayama and you know what. good that she chooses her career over kiryu. the romance would have caused both of their characters to explode with the trajectory this was heading in. ffs sayama could have had her own game. she has so MUCH potential.

and also GOOD that the writer is forced to think of kiryu in the position of the Stay At Home Parent for haruka and the orphanage down the line!!! subverting the fucking traditional BS expectation! yes!!!!!

all i got was sayama and kiryu making out before the bomb went off in front of my alcohol and salad while they're like 'eh, haruka will forgive us for dying :')'

and i ran out of alcohol.

sexism? maybe. incompetence? definitely.

hhgrhgrhrghrghrgrhgr wow this got long. ugh. guhhhhhh.

#yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #sayama kaoru #kiryu kazuma #yakuza kiwami 2

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faetaiity · 1 year

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Hi! I saw you where trying yandere fics so i was wondering if you’d be interested in writing some platonic yandere headcannons (basically the yandere idea without the romance) with the four rise!brothers (or just raph and/or donnie if all of them are too many), discovering a male human younger than them (like 12-13) and while they’re out on patrol and they all become obsessed with the idea of him becoming their younger brother so much so that they kidnap them and bring them back to the lair

i’m just so curious how they’d act to a younger brother and how they’d treat him- like would they let him out of the house, go on patrol with them, would donnie let him into his lab?

if you want you could also do the bat mutant reader or the dark!au, it’s up to you! sorry for rambling lol

I WILL DO ALL OF THESE???? BAT READER IN THE DARK AU WITH PLATONIC YANDERES??? SIGN ME UP FUCKER(S)!! /POS Also, I (tried) to make the readers age ambiguous for the most part, BUT I did have in mind a reader between 7-9 (Early Adolescents)

CW: Reader ends up getting injured, mild angst(?), Yandere themes. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STORY PART (GENERAL HCS AT THE BOTTOM <3)

Mutating for a child is 10x worse

It's almost guaranteed that the kid will be homeless, not necessarily because of their parents (although this DOES happen rarely), but more so because they perceive themselves as monsters as kids, and teens have low self-esteem so they think no one will love them as a mutant

At least with Teens and Adults, they have Mutants in their age range that can help, there are almost NO child mutants, now, Adult Mutants will help Child mutants, but this is a dangerous area.

Cut to a little boy who just mutated into a giant Bat, you, of course, freak out and start crying (Partly because it's canon that Mutating is PAINFUL)

It'll probably be a couple nights or even weeks before the turtles find you, New York IS pretty big.

When they find you, they're curious, they've never seen a super young mutant out by themselves, sure, they were young at some point, but they were always supervised

Raphs the most patient one, even in the canon storyline, Rise! Raph is a sweetheart compared to his brothers, similar concept here, Dark AU! Raph is similar to 2012! Raph, he has his soft moments but mostly comes off as intimidating.

Raph comes over to you and sees you sobbing your eyes out, your fur is matted, you seem to be starving and you have various scrapes and bruises.

Big Brother mode is something Dark AU! Raph experiences very rarely, only towards young animals as his brothers are completely independent from him now, but you managed to trigger that response.

Honey, you got a big storm comin /ref

He picks you up and brings you with him, earning Leo and Donnie's Ire

I'm gonna be honest, he has to beg his brothers not to rat him out to the rat, he HAS to smuggle you into the lair, at least for a little bit for you to be cleaned up and fed.

His brothers taunt him about his sudden "Stupid Emotions", especially considering even though Raph is a decent person in this AU, he's still hardcore af, smashing people's teeth in 'n stuff.

But they cave, Mikey isn't as loose mouthed in the Dark AU, he's actually quite secretive.

Raph ends up taking you to the shower and asking if you know how to take one by yourself (He knows you're young, but he doesn't know your exact age, but he knows you're younger than 10.), if you agree he just gives you some of Mikey's clothes since they would fit you the best, then he leaves.

After showering, you wander around, as nosy kids do, you end up finding the orange one, drawing in what seems to be red paint, he looks over to you with a smile, ew, the paint was leaking from his mouth.

You skittishly wandered into another part of the lair after feeling like you stared death in the face of a turtle.

Going into another part, which had a lot of ripped up dummies, you see the other two that wasn't the red one, one had a midnight blue mask, and the other a Deep Purple, they were screaming at each other, calling each other horrible names, they were both pretty roughed up, knuckles bleeding, blood coming from their nose, bruises, someone brushed by you casually and wandered into that den of Vipers

"MIKEY, GET THE FUCK OUT, WE'RE BUSY" The Blue one yelled at, who you assumed was Mikey, who squinted his eyes and seethed out a "Helloooo~ My Dear and LOVING brother, could you mind NOT fighting so loudly, kid ended up watching y'all fight like raccoons over the last bit of that guy from the police" which made the three look at you

Pinning your ears back you took a step back, the purple one came over to you and coldly said "Raph's in the living room, don't go in there, Splinter will kill you."

You just stood there shaking, tears pricking your eyes before Leo sighed, stood still then giggled "LAST ONE TO SAY NOT IT AND TOUCH THEIR NOSES HAS TO TAKE CARE OF THE KID"

"NOT IT"

The one in front of you whipped around at mach one and stared at his brothers ".... I fucking hate you two, I wish you were used as omelets when we were eggs." the purple one seethed

He whipped back over to you; a giant mechanical arm came out and picked you up, making you screech and writhe

"CALM DOWN!" He shouted, making you stop writhing and start whimpering

He walks out of the Dojo and takes you through some rooms before coming to a door that has steel lock bars to keep people out, he uses a code and a print scanner before wandering in, he strides over to a desk and places you on it.

He taps his desk for a few minutes, deep in thought before looking over to you "My name's Donatello." he states, you carefully responded as if saying one word wrong would make him snap your neck "I'm Y/N"

He huffs a small "Don't touch anything, tell me if you need to go somewhere", before he starts to code on a computer, several minutes pass by before a hurried knock at the Lab's door

Answering it, he lets his three brothers in, all of them approach you, as you start shaking violently the more they got close.

Three of them stopped before you, but the red one got closer, He kneeled down, so you were at eye level, you were scared shitless, these were highly scarred turtle mutants with weapons, any kid with enough marbles would shit themselves.

He sighs before saying "We haven't introduced ourselves, I'm Raphael" he stops for a second before continuing "That's Michelangelo" He points to the shortest one with a deep dark orange mask, "That's Leonardo" the one he pointed to was the most scarred out of all of them, he had a giant bloodstained sword, he didn't seem amused that he was there "And that's-"

"Donnie!!!!" you said, kicking your legs back and forth, giving a giant goofy grin, Donatello was NOT amused "It's Donatello." He coldly said, his face was bright red as his brothers started snickering behind him

Raph pulled out a small hairbrush and some hair conditioner "Can I help you untangle those mats?" he gruffed out, it wasn't intended to be scary, his voice was just naturally rough.

You nodded, He spent about an hour detangling your fur while his brothers did other things in the lab, such as Donatello making upgrades to SHELLDON.

After he was done, you got up from his lap and turned around "Thank you Mr. Raphael!!!!" you squeaked out and hugged him, causing him to freeze

His brothers looked over and saw you hugging him, they saw how at ease their brother was as his massive hands draped around you

Once you were done hugging you ran around like a normal kid would do.

Raphael often mentioned to his younger brothers about the feelings of being a big brother and how he felt as one, they got this feeling from you, despite you only having met them for a few hours.

They see you trip and freak the fuck out, this isn't their normal reaction, they would usually laugh or just ignore it, but they felt more panicky.

But then you got up and gave them the most dumb, goofy, teeth filled smile, giving them a thumbs up and running off to other parts of the lab.

They felt warm, deciding to leave you with Donnie in his lab as you seemed to like him

He had to fake being Inconvenienced and irritated, but even the CIA couldn't get that out of him ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GENERAL HCS THAT ARE SET A FEW WEEKS AFTER THE STORY PART!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah, you can't go anywhere without them, end of story

Patrols? You are WITH ALL OF THEM. NO QUESTIONS.

Donnie's Lab? Donnie has to be with you and starts rambling about his tech, feels like fainting from happiness when you take an interest.

Splinter ends up finding out about you and for the first time ever, his students rebelled against him violently, his ear became more torn up, he had a tooth knocked out, and some of his nails cracked, needless to say, you were kept.

Raph's the most Overprotective out of all of them, sees you cry and suddenly finds an excuse to fight anyone who comes near you, even if he didn't really care, having someone other than him near you gets him unnaturally angry for no reason

Mikey was the youngest before you, but he has no resentment towards you, you're absolutely ADORABLE! He's the one that takes you to the hidden city to see the cool things there, He's the 'Fun' but cautious big brother, and by that, I mean, he makes you think he gives you the most freedom but really all he does is give you a safety net that traps you, making you believe after that one incident that you need protection, slowly constricting your freedoms until you HAVE to be with him or his brothers.

Donnie would be the carefree one, he doesn't NEED to be by your side, he has tech and hacking abilities, he can just spy on you, His robots are deadly enough to kill any human or mutant that hurts you.

Leo is the second most carefree, he mainly helps Donnie if his tech fucks over and can't be used or the entire PowerGrid is down, He just teleports to find you from your last known location!

They all adore you, calling you their younger sibling, often making you feel overwhelmed or suffocated (Especially if the reader is Autistic.)

I can see them mildly infantilizing the reader, not as if they're actually like a baby, but more like they're helpless and can't do ANYTHING by themselves, you wanna get something off the top shelf? Raph can do it! GO SIT BACK DOWN.

If the reader gets hurt by another mutant all hell breaks loose

They don't even care if they can only get to them in broad daylight, they have disguises, they'll make it work.

Don't expect them to not scold you if you break the rules.

First offense is a verbal warning

Second or more offense is timeout

Third offense is only reserved for trying to leave them permanently more than once. They snap your leg.

You'll learn to NEVER leave again, either that or your legs won't be able to work anymore.

#save rottmnt #dark! rottmnt au #rottmnt headcanons #rottmnt #rottmnt x reader #leo x reader #leonardo #donatello #donnie x reader #raphael #raph x reader #michelangelo #mikey x reader #yandere rottmnt #yandere tmnt #platonic x reader

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threadsun · 1 year

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Sweets🍭 Asks: "Heeeey! It's me! I've just been struggling with ideas because....ive been thinking about things unrelated to sunny day Jack

BUT HEAR ME OUT

Remember that one fic you wrote with Jean and Joseph with teacher MC

Yeah that but...mc is the director\creator of the sunny time crew and here's the kicker

They are extremely miserable

They hate their job

They hate their life

They hate children

They probably hate Jean and Joseph too

Will that stop them from flirting with this tired annoyed grumpy director?

Nope! I mean Jack and Rory were made to make people happy!

It's gonna be a piece of cake

...right?"

Oh Sweets hellooooooo!!! I love you!!! You always bring me the absolute most banger ideas!!!

I love the idea of them both falling for this person who looks like they haven't slept in weeks and visibly loathes every moment they're on set lmao

Content: hatred of children, general depression, ngl reader just sort of sucks, smoking, absolutely shamelessly dirty flirting, suicidal ideation/joking about suicide, reader is not okay

Coffee isn't enough anymore. You need an IV drip of caffeine straight into your blood stream. Or some heavy drugs. Or a real hard blow to the head with a baseball bat. At this point, you're not picky. Whatever gets you off this stupid set.

The SunnyTime Crew Show. Your crowning achievement. The idea that made your career. Shown across millions of tv sets all over the country every single day. Shown to all those little ankle biters you can't stand the sight of, too young and useless to so much as wipe their own asses.

It's all bright colours and simple words and stupid, terrible songs that get stuck in your head on loop until you want to bash your brains in against a wall. Not that it takes much for you to feel that way these days. Especially given the people you're working with.

Joseph Haberdae and Jean Laurent. Rising star and bossy diva. The constant bickering. The even more constant flirting. The adlibbed lines. The relentless cheer while the cameras roll. And the insufferable questions when they don't. They take the whole thing so fucking seriously. Like this is anything more than some drivel for parents to shove their kids in front of when they can't be bothered to parent anymore.

Maybe you don't hate the kids, maybe it's the parents you resent. Always shoving crying babies into your arms during live recordings so their "precious child" can get a better look at the set. Demanding the show teach this or that lesson. Begging for the Crew to come work birthday parties.

But no, you can't stand wiping little noses and listening to the shrieks. Kids have always given you the creeps, but now they piss you off. Always saying weird things and rubbing their sticky fingers all over set. You're just lucky the stars are better with the kids than you are.

"Should we cut?" Your brought out of your stewing annoyance by the sound of your PA whispering in your ear.

You down the last of your coffee and shove the cup into his hands, a silent demand for more. "Cut!"

You hadn't noticed the scene end. But it didn't matter, Joseph and Jean had started improvising lines anyway, as they so often did. Your eye twitches in annoyance. You don't spend your time yelling at the writers to get every line perfect just for these idiots in costumes to make shit up.

"Haberdae, Laurent." You snap your fingers and point to the spot in front of you. "Everyone else, take five. Then we reshoot. We get it right this time or every single one of you is out of a goddamn job."

As the rest of the cast and crew file out for their break, the two men stand at attention before you. They know where this conversation is going. It's the same one you have every time they so much as change a single word from the script.

"So, which school was it?" You cross you arms and scowl at them both.

They exchange a look of confusion before Joseph ventures a reply. "What?"

"Which school? SoCal? Columbia? You do RTF at Austin?" They can tell your tone is derisive, but they're still not sure what you're getting at. You roll your eyes. "Where you studied screenwriting. I assume you've got some writing background, since you're always changing my fucking script."

Oh. Ohhhhh. Okay, they're on the same page as you now. Joseph has the good grace to look chastised, staring at his feet like a kicked puppy. Jean isn't one to be so easily intimidated. He raises an eyebrow and shrugs.

"What was it today, your assistant got you the wrong coffee? Or did some kid get ketchup all over your copy of the script?" He's used to your bad moods. They both are, but he's not swayed by them. "If you'd actually watched the take rather than staring off into space, you'd realise it was better than the shit your writers came up with."

You purse your lips. He's... probably not wrong. It's hard to find good writers who are willing to throw their talents away on a show like this. And they do both have an admirable understanding of their characters. Much as you hate them, they're true to your original vision. The vision you wished you'd never had.

With a reluctant sigh, you move to rewatch the take. Your PA hands you your coffee and a lit cigarette before hastily retreating, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire of whatever's going on. It's a relief, the burn of the smoke in your throat followed by the burn of the scalding coffee.

"Watch."

Joseph's behind you, hands hovering just over your waist as his breath brushes against your ear. Damn this infuriatingly handsome man and his lack of personal space. You grit your teeth and focus on the screen, ignoring the huge man all but pressed against your back. He and Jean crowd you, trying to get a good look at the viewer as you play back the scene.

It's... good. Better than the script. You don't want to admit it out loud, but their additions make more sense with the episode's story, and sound more like Jack and Rory. Damn them.

"See?" Joseph's lips brush against your ear, one hand making contact with your waist for just a moment to give it a soothing rub. "Not bad, right?"

You shove him aside, taking a long drag of your cigarette and pretending to mull it over. As if there's any question. He watches you closely, with all the eagerness of youth and all the ego of an actor who knows he's good at his job.

"Fine." You breathe the word out in a plume of smoke. "It's good enough, I guess. We don't have time for another take anyway."

Joseph grins, leaning an arm on your shoulder like you're an old friend rather than his director. "Come on, you can admit it. We're good."

You sneer at him, trying to nudge his massive forearm off you. But he doesn't budge. Instead, Jean takes up an identical position leaning on your other shoulder.

"So tense," he tuts and shakes his head. "Come on, you can praise us sometimes, you know."

With a roll of your eyes, you resign yourself to once again being crowded by the two men. You can't honestly say you mind it. "Why, so you can get off to it later? I've got about as much interest in stroking your goddamn egos as I do in stroking your pathetic cocks."

"Watch out," Jean's voice is a familiar, teasing lilt. Though it feels directed as much at Joseph as it is at you. "Talk like that might just get Joseph all riled up."

"Eugh." You mime throwing up, ducking from under their arms to grab your coffee and down some more. "Don't need to know about your humiliation kink, thanks."

Joseph's redder than he'd care to admit, but he tries to brush it off. "You know, I didn't realise you thought about stroking our cocks that often. Or our egos."

"Maybe a quick romp would help loosen you up a bit?" Jean suggests, raising an eyebrow with a quirk of his lips. "Keep you focused on your job. Is that why you've got that thousand yard stare every time we shoot? Too busy thinking about fucking us in our dressing rooms?"

From an outside perspective it might seem like sexual harassment in the workplace, but... you encourage it in your own way. You could easily set boundaries if you wanted to, but their flirting—however much they annoy you—is the only interesting part of your life right now. The only part that doesn't make you consider jumping off the roof of the studio.

"Too busy thinking about the easiest way to off myself, more like. Still trying to decide between throwing myself in the reservoir and just jumping in front of the next car I see."

"Well, wouldn't that be a waste of a pretty face?"

Jean's not worried by your theatrics. It's not the first time you've loudly proclaimed your intentions to off yourself, nor will it be the last. It never stops you coming in the next day, looking as dead behind the eyes as ever, and yelling at everyone you see.

"Pretty face." You snort, trying not to choke on your coffee. "What, is it the eyebags or the fact that I haven't had time for a decent meal in months?"

"I think it's your smile." Joseph's always so... genuine. He flirts like Jean, of course, but sometimes he'll throw something so earnest at you that it winds you. "We don't get to see it often, but... you've got a really nice smile."

It feels like he's punched you in the chest, not given you a sweet compliment. It's time to put a stop to this for now. The flirting's gone past entertaining and straight into that dangerous territory that leaves you worried you might do something stupid. Like fall for one or both of them. Not to mention, you've still got half a day of filming this bullshit left.

"Fuck off to makeup, be back on set in two. We'll pick up with Rory's baking lesson."

With a stern nod to the stage door, the two hurry off. You feel like you can breathe again. When they're around, you start to get claustrophobic. Or maybe coulrophobic. Or maybe just... you feel vaguely nauseous at even the shadow of a thought about having romantic feelings for either of the frustrating, handsome actors.

Nope.

No way.

Definitely not.

Not while you have the world's worst tv show to direct.

God you hate your life.

#swwsdj #something's wrong with sunny day jack #sdj jean #sdj joseph #joseph haberdae x reader x jean laurent #gn!reader #18+ only #sunshine #sweets🍭#dear director au #crosspost

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ragecndybars · 2 months

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AO3 tag game :3

thanks so much for the tag @mvshortcut !!!!! much appreciated, this was a blast to fill out :D

How many works do you have on AO3?

86! Damn, that's more than I remember 🙀 I have been writing pretty fervently since I was pretty young, though, and I transferred all my old fics from fanfiction dot net to AO3, so it's a long stretch of time. All my old wattpad fics are still rotting somewhere though lmaooo I can't even access them anymore bc I forgot my password and I can't reset it bc I used a school email 😔

What's your total AO3 word count?

443,734! When I get to half a million I'm gonna have to throw myself a party. With boba and everything

How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

Oof, okay, here we go. A lot of the fandoms I have tagged on AO3 don't really "count" because they're just aggregate tags for the same fandom, so even though AO3 says the number is 48, I'm gonna count the TRUE number as 17. (It got cut down so much because of how many video game series have different games with different fandom tags on AO3, lmao)

Here's the breakdown of the list:

Persona (Mostly Persona 3)

Fire Emblem (Mostly Shadow Dragon and Blazing Sword)

Legend of Zelda

Pokemon

Professor Layton

RWBY

Kid Icarus: Uprising

Earthbound/MOTHER

Red vs. Blue

Voltron Legendary Defender

Naruto

Final Fantasy XV

Harvest Moon

The Mysterious Benedict Society

The Avengers

Animal Crossing

Care Bears (despite having never actually consumed any Care Bears media to my knowledge)

The worst part is that this stupid list would be much, much, MUCH longer if I finished even a quarter of my WIPs 😭 Hell, even just my "Video Games" subfolder in my "Fanfiction" subfolder has more than 17 subfolders in it...

Y'all don't understand how many random fics my ADHD spares you from ever seeing I have no focus

Top five fics by kudos:

Ash and Emotion (Zelda) - Not surprising, I knew this was my most popular fic. It was for a ZeLink zine full of beautiful work :)

Resemblance (Naruto) - bro I always forget people really liked this one. Literally an unedited drabble I did in an hour for a "pride month drabble challenge" which I immediately abandoned. Trans rights I guess

Always Wanna Play (But You Never Wanna Lose) (Persona 3) - This one isn't surprising either, and I'm very proud of this fic so I'm quite chuffed to see it get so much attention... thanks everyone :')

The Beat of Your Heart (Zelda) - Now this one surprised me a lot. This was just a little piece for ZeLink week... Another unedited one, I literally was writing it on the toilet in church so I could get it out in time 😭

Comfort (Zelda) - Another ZeLink week piece, but I knew this one was popular. Also unedited, lmao. I was writing it on the day of my AP Calc finals and I rushed through the exam so I could have more time to work on the fic 😭 I made some Choices that year

Do you respond to comments?

I try to! But I get very anxious about it and tend to work myself into a tizzy, so I often put it off for later and then forget, haha. Then I'll go and respond to all my comments from the last few months and feel even weirder about it... T_T

What's the fic with the angstiest ending you've ever written?

Oof. That's... a hard one, haha. I've written a couple of fics without happy endings, though I typically don't. At least three fics which end on a canonical character death, for instance. But I'd say the ending which made me the most emo writing was Butter, a Mother 3 fic. It ends with Lucas, who's like 9, recently lost his mother, then lost his twin brother (and thinks it's his fault), and is now being neglected by his father, crawling into bed and crying. So yeah, pretty bleak, lmao... but at least he doesn't die I guess?

Do you write crossovers?

I do, but I haven't posted many yet. I'm not always huge on writing them, but I do think about them a lot. I was working on this one Persona 3 x Fire Emblem Awakening crossover but I lost steam on it, and now there's a really lovely crossover on AO3 with a similar premise that I was SO delighted to come across!!! Hope y'all don't mind me taking a break from linking my own work to shill for this one, hehe

Have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

Unfortunately, yes, about six times, I'd say. Even more unfortunately, most of those times happened earlier on in my fanfic writing career, and I was pretty sensitive to hate back then, so I deleted many of the relevant fics, and some of them I don't even have access to myself anymore.

Not gonna talk about the ones that are still upsetting, but I will talk about the funny examples: on a (since deleted) RWBY fic, I said in the author's note that I "wrote them as platonic, but the fic can be read as WhiteRose", and then I got a glowing comment gushing about how good the story was which ended with "but then you had to ruin it by shitting all over WhiteRose, how about you [long suicide bait]". Third most baffling comment I've ever received.

The two most baffling were on different fics, but both were making the same weird accusation??? One was on a ZeLink fic (actually, on Comfort, my fifth most kudos'ed fic of all time now), and y'know I think I'm just gonna show you the comment in question:

The other one was on a long-since deleted fic which focused on both a romantic ship, as well as a fatherly relationship between one member of the ship and the other member's father. I guess having a fatherly relationship with your father-in-law makes your boyfriend actually your brother (and therefore you can't date him anymore). IDK man people are crazy. (tbf the commenter in question thought I was setting it up so that he'd get adopted by his boyfriend's parents, which would give them more of a case, but like... that didn't happen in the fic and wasn't going to. they just guessed at a future plot development and got angry about their guess)

Do you write smut?

I do, but I've never posted any. I've posted one fic that was very suggestive, I'd even call it "NSFW" in a sense, but never anything explicit. Maybe I will in the future? We'll see if I can ever finish anything smutty, lmao.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep, I had Ultimatum, my longest chapter-fic (and by far my most popular fic in the ff.n days) stolen and posted on another site by somebody. I reported it but never checked back up to see if it got taken down.

I also feel that I've had my work plagiarized pretty damn blatantly in another fandom (I was browsing a certain AU tag and read one which contained all the exact events and sometimes word-for-word dialogue from a fic of mine, just very very slightly rewritten) but the poster had no other works and their writing was definitely extremely juvenile, so... I figured they were a dumb kid and just decided not to raise a fuss. Checked back later and they deleted it, hopefully because they realized they shouldn't do that, so I figure there's no need to start shit over it. Honestly, if that person used that experience as a jumping-off point to write their own fics, then I'm glad it happened, imitation being the highest form of flattery and all.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, though I had someone reach out to me on fanfiction dot net a long time ago and ask permission to translate An Unheard Goodbye, which was super exciting! I agreed, but I don't believe they ever got around to it, or if they did, they never posted it. Still very flattering, and I think about that a lot, hehe.

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY ANSWER THIS. UM. UM UH. UHHH UM UH I. UM.

I'm.... gonna say Zelda/Link? I haven't written it in FOREVER but it was such a huge part of me coming into my own as a fanfic author, so I have to give it credit for that.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

.......all of them 😭 god I have so many of these damn things. But for the prime example, I'd point to Ultimatum, an old Pokemon fic that I started in middle school. I got all the way to the climax and I feel bad leaving my readers hanging, but... at this point, if I did continue it, I would honestly have to rewrite the whole fic first just to be in line with my current understanding of the characters.

What are your writing strengths?

Y'know, I think I get character voices down extremely well in a way which elevates my dialogue and narration. That's probably the thing I'm most proud of in my own writing, at least.

What are your writing weaknesses?

BREVITY. Or the utter, glaring lack of it. I have also been known to muddy up my writing with an overabundance of A) adverbs, B) unneeded clauses tacked onto perfectly good sentences, and C) em-dashes 😭

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fics?

I think it's dope as fuck, but I currently can't really accomplish it because I'm monolingual (NOT FOR LONG IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT, I'M COMING FOR YOU, JAPANESE FLUENCY!!!!). I will also say that I don't like when authors will write characters having a story-important conversation in another language, then put the translations in the end notes or something, requiring you to either read the chapter confused or else keep scrolling back down and back up.... I think even that's totally fine to do if what's being said isn't plot-relevant, though.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Naruto. I hadn't read or watched Naruto btw, I had only read other Naruto fanfics. I have spoken on this topic many times, but it remains hilarious to me. Also, so many of my old Naruto fics are lost to the Wattpad times, but I will take this opportunity to once again share a quote which I recently managed to unearth from my long-lost unsung magnum opus:

Never ever will I intentionally attain the level of comedy gold that I managed while writing completely dead serious Naruto fanfiction on Wattpad in 2012.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written so far?

See above. How could I ever top that fic.

In all seriousness, this question always makes me sweat, but I think I'm gonna say Oil, a slightly older fic from my EliHec days which I absolutely obsessed over for months before finally managing to finish. And, unlike most of the fics that I obsess over, I think the obsession actually made it come out better rather than worse, haha.

thanks again for the tag!!!! as for me, I'll tag uhh, hm, @wizard-finix @dreamedge @misty-wisp @flyfish1999 and any other AO3 writers who see this!!! (idk how many of you use AO3 and most of the MBS authors I know have probably already been tagged hehe but anybody who wants to should absolutely feel free!!!!!!!)

#Lee Speaks #tag game #god this is long. i love ranting about my writing thank you again for the tag

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sakumz · 1 year

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₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. [ m. chiaki x gn reader ]

tw❗: none

" another cut? " kaoru questions upon seeing the band-aid on your finger.

" I'm trying out a new recipe! hopefully he'll like it, " you replied to which izumi sighs from the seat next to you.

" I can't believe you're making bento boxes for chiaki and you started this eversince anzu told you his stupid wish! get your head out of the clouds and confess instead of doing whatever you've been doing, " izumi scolded.

" cmon man, don't be harsh on them. I think it's cute, but yeah do what izumi says. he may be oblivious and just kind to you whenever you hand him the bento but it's best you don't trick your heart! " kaoru encourages, earning a glare from izumi.

" you say that as if you don't trick other girls' hearts- " izumi was interrupted when chiaki barges into the conversation.

" hey! it's break time, can't believe you guys kept talking when the teacher was still here, humph. guess that's what happens when you sit next to one another, " chiaki playfully pouts as you sigh at his cuteness.

" chiaki, you're gonna eat with ryuseitai today right? well I made this for you. let me know if it suits your taste- " you hand him the bento as izumi cut the conversation.

" meet them after school chiaki, they've got something to tell you, " you look at izumi shock and bewildered, is this what you called betrayal? kaoru can't help but giggle at your expression.

" I gotta go but yeah I'll see ya, y/n! thanks for the bento, " chiaki runs off as you glared at izumi.

" what's that about! I've got nothing to tell him wahh you're horrible! curse you and your pretty face, " you grumble.

" hey it can't be that bad hahaha, maybe telling him your feelings will help. thank your knight in shining armour! " kaoru laughs as the aura around you felt thicker.

" yeah, just tell him. get it done and over with, goodluck, " izumi smiles. a sarcastic one, it feels like one.

[ timeskip ]

ironically, izumi at least told chiaki on your behalf where to meet. kaoru wishes you goodluck before wandering off to god knows where. standing like an idiot, near the school fountain. you can't help but feel a sense of falseness. what if chiaki forgets the meeting and this is what being played tastes like.

" y/n!! I'm here, sorry for being late! " chiaki shouts, snapping you out of your thoughts. you can't help but let the tears fall, when did the tears even well up.

" gah! don't cry, " chiaki comforts, pulling you into a hug.

" I can't help it... I thought you stood me up, and everyone was toying with me! " you cry out as chiaki rubs small circles around your back.

" I'm sorry, really. if it makes you feel better, let's go out for ice cream! " he cheers, ready to pull you out of the school.

" n-no... it's not like that, I wanna tell you how I feel, " you say as he stops and sits down on the fountain, patting the spot next to him as you follow suit.

" I love you alot, hurry up and reject me so we can continue on with our days, " you rushed out your words as he stares at you dumbfounded.

" but I love you too, the bento you make. those were delicious! I dont love you just for your cooking, everything about you is lovable. you're kind, sweet and gentle. I can't help but smile whenever someone mentions your name. you're a wonderful person! " hearing him say all that, you can't help but flush red and cry even more. how can a sweet guy like him even exists. chiaki panics upon seeing you cry more.

" i-i love you, really, " he finishes as you attempt to calm down.

" I love you too, " you smile.

kaoru and izumi were hidden somewhere close, hearing the conversation. izumi can't help but sigh over you crying waterfalls, kaoru smiling at the newborn young love. they're happy for their dear friend nonetheless.

---

a/n : he looks a lot like natsuya kirishima. 🤔🥹 even the personalities match slightly maybe

#ensemble stars #ensemble stars x reader #sakumz.pdf #enstars x reader #chiaki morisawa x reader #chiaki x reader

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loadednachosao3 · 9 days

Note

Lalo learns about 4/20 from when he was in college in the states. And YOU BEST BELIEVE. Every April 20th he is so unbelievably annoying with it. Also I like to think his first time ever he greened out and young stupid Lalo thought he was gonna fucking die from too big of a doobie

he bakes a bunch of weed cookies and brownies and all and they're like so fucking strong because his tolerance is like mine and Nacho takes one bite and greens out in paranoia crying about how his father doesn't love him anymore

#ask tag #anonymous

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fritextramole · 1 month

Text

nothing was right and nothing's wrong

part 5 of a Serena van der Woodsen playlist - best heard in order

tracklist and quotes under the cut

Menace ~ Maya Hawke

I want to behave It's a small concession All my regressions I don't understand But they're painful old news

Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now ~ The Smiths

Two lovers entwined pass me by And heaven knows I'm miserable now

Piece of Me ~ Britney Spears

You want a piece of me? You want a piece of me I'm Miss bad media karma Another day another drama

Cheap Queen ~ King Princess

I'm gettin' too cocky since everyone wants me It's harder to be myself

Brand New City ~ Mitski

I think my ways are wearing me down But if I gave up on being pretty, I wouldn't know how to be alive I should move to a brand new city and teach myself how to die

Hot Mess ~ dodie

Wake up, do the same thing Break up, then we're dancin' Why am I so alright to do it again and again?

I’m a Ruin ~ MARINA

I've had my share of beautiful men But I'm still young And I want to love again

Bad Friend ~ Rina Sawayama

But the truth is I'm so good at crashing in Making sparks and shit but then I'm a bad, I'm a bad, I'm a bad friend So don't ask me where I've been Been avoiding everything

Los Ageless ~ St. Vincent

I'm a monster and you're my sacred cow I guess that's just me, honey, I guess that's how I'm built I try to tell you I love you and it comes out all sick

Special Girl ~ dodie

I was raised by open mouths and teary eyes Passive wistful lullabies I found my worth in this world By proving I’m a special girl

Runs in the Family ~ Amanda Palmer

But don't blame me because I can't help where I come from And running is something that we've always done well And mostly I can't even tell what I'm running from Run from their pity, from responsibility Run from the country and run from the city

They Say I’m Different ~ Betty Davis

You play the blues for me And that's why, and that's why, and that's why they say I'm different

You Stupid Bitch ~ girl in red

When you cry and need my comfort I drop everything to come over Don't bite your lip or grit your teeth Just count to ten and try to breathe

Lollipop ~ MIKA

I went walkin' with my mama one day When she warned me what people say Live your life until love is found 'Cause love's gonna get you down

7 rings ~ Ariana Grande

My smile is beamin', my skin is gleamin' The way it shine, I know you've seen it I bought a crib just for the closet Both his and hers, I want it, I got it, yeah

I’m Every Woman ~ Chaka Khan

I can cast a spell of secrets you can tell Mix a special brew, put fire inside of you

#gg #ggplaylists #serena van der woodsen #gossip girl #source: senamarais

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elvisabutler · 2 years

Note

lol please keep angst coming

so i did almost delete this but you know what i'm just gonna use it as an excuse to post the austin side of all this angst. is this necessarily a blurb? i don't know. it's a lot of words. i know that. and yes i might have had atlantis by seafret on for the entire time i've been writing this. blame spotify i think? tw: angst, death mentions not of the main people, leaked photos ( vanessa hudgens ), minor breeding kink implication, sexual themes, the general character bleed bs that comes with this pa! reader and austin, age difference, dom/sub.

we built this town on shaky ground

so consider the following. austin butler had been in a relationship for almost ten years to a woman that to this day he'll admit he at least somewhat loves. they had gone through a lot together. her father dying, his mother dying. her trying to process the likely lingering trauma of her photos being leaked when she was only 18. him trying and he'll admit this kind of failing to be seen as anything other than the pretty boy eye candy. it paid the bills he wasn't complaining, but this is the same man who printed out pulp fiction at 12 years old. he wanted more.

so when they break up- it's mutual, they'll always swear and because honestly it's no one's business why they broke up beyond that. and he thinks this is the time to just maybe have a fling, do something that isn't fall back into another long term relationship. doesn't necessarily want to be alone, doesn't necessarily want to be sleeping through all of young-ish hollywood. so meeting you? oddly great timing, he's heard a rumor or two about you. doesn't know if he should believe them until he actually meets you in person.

meeting you in person blew whatever thoughts he had right out of the water. baz puts you on the floor and you twiddle your ring and god. this is a problem. this is vanessa all over again isn't it? this is i'm going to careen into being wrapped around this woman's finger. except maybe not because- maybe you'll be wrapped up in each other. this. this is better. that is better.

he couldn't have predicted everything else. a quarantine that has him dropping food off to you like he's some superspy. that has him watching you sleep. that has him falling in love with you bit by bit. you don't fall in love in a month. but you do in six with you at his feet and his hand in your hair and he's got the best little dove in the whole wide world. he's seeing you blissed out on the bed or laying in the bathtub because whatever work out you decided to do for the week just made your muscles hurt. you're it. you're the beginning and the end of everything during those months. you as priscilla and him as elvis and who's who any more is anyone's guess.

the set is taking care of you, is seeing you in a dress like priscilla's and having to excuse himself because- he and vanessa had talked about getting married only for "or i guess we could be like goldie hawn and kurt russell" to leave his lips and her to swat him playfully. but seeing you like that? seeing you all dolled up has him buying a ring identical to priscilla's. he doesn't realize how wrong it is at the time because nothing seems wrong at the time. but he does later on. it's seeing you pregnant as priscilla and fucking you so hard as if he can override your patch in a fit of stupidity because neither one of you need a baby right now. it's later on that day that he's realized that he can't- he's stopped dreaming of a life post elvis without you.

it's filming the scene where priscilla leaves elvis and he breaks down crying against you. "dove, don't- you can't leave me okay? i can't handle that after ness and my mom. you're my girl. my little dove and i'll be your daddy. i won't leave you but please don't leave me." "i won't daddy." "tell me if it gets this bad. i'll fix it." "i will."

consider the fact that you don't and everything starts to keep blurring because they're in the home stretch of the film and austin can tell he's lost himself but he can't drag himself back up because other than maybe ashley and vanessa if he squints you're the only one who could pull him back. you do pull him back when you're in the apartment some times but not always. you've lost yourself and he's lost himself and it all comes to a head at the hospital.

you call him crying after him thinking your name is cilla and you finding the ring and the onesie he wanted to put your potential oops baby- named crystal lori he thinks- in and he's feeling a little more clear headed and "what's wrong, dove? i'll make them let me out, tell me what's wrong!"

you leave him and just call him to tell him that in a car. he has to pay an extra fee for the damage he might have caused to the room. he doesn't get angry ever but he figures he had one leftover elvis tantrum in himself.

you're gonna leave him, fine. he said he wouldn't leave you so he'll take it. "keep in touch, dove. i said i wouldn't leave you. i'm here for you."

and you do on occasion which he realizes- might have been a problem. he should have let you have the clean break. but he knew- he knew you still talked to papi and that man did damage to you he's not even sure you realize. so sue him for being selfish. for being that selfish daddy like all the rest.

so he lets himself enjoy his first year of his thirties and the tail end of his twenties. there's lily who he adores but he should have known better. there's olivia who is great and sometimes his brain wanders to another time and place where he could have switched for her if she had gotten the part. but then there's you in that dress with the boy who can't satisfy you and he's been good, he hasn't said anything but that dress and seeing his necklace still around your throat with your collar in his dresser? yeah that breaks him.

he drinks and spews filth and you're calling him butler and then he's blocked and kaia? kaia reminds him of you enough to not be painful but enough to make him think he's got a new little dove. until he meets her mom and realizes no- this isn't fair to any of you. so he breaks it off and tells her, "you're going to find a great guy, but it's not gonna be me. i'll be your friend though. if you need it."

and consider. the met happens after that and he should have told you then that he wanted to keep you forever. he didn't.

but he fixes it at cannes. and maybe that's how it was supposed to go. maybe that's how you were supposed to be all along. he doesn't dwell, after all isn't that what got you two in trouble in the first place?

#i swear i don't only do headcanon/blurbs. promise.#but this came to me and i rolled with it.#and i'm writing something stupidly fluffy not for this world.#so i shall indulge myself.#austin butler x priscilla actress reader #austin butler x reader #austin butler x y/n #austin butler x you #slides over to my aggressively fluffy fluff.#ally writes

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 years

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if you're up for it out of the ones you know how would the other non-comics Edwards rank? (Unburied, HQ Show and whichever else you've seen?)

this is going to be considerably more hinged because I just straight up haven't seen a lot of the cartoons that Riddleboy has popped up on and generally have less feelings about them; the comics are where I really get crazy get stupid about him. but let's talk about a couple highlights! no ratings, they're all good little bastards.

John Glover (Batman: The Animated Series)

he's not my FAVORITE favorite but like. come on. he's a good little Riddler! he riddles like crazy! and I like BTAS rogues on principle, I love that they can definitely murder people but stay classy about it.

I usually prefer Riddlers who are driven to riddle by a desire to fuck (with) Batman, but I actually REALLY respect that this guy originally just wanted to murder his shitty former boss. that guy sucked and he did deserve to get disemboweled by a mechanical minotaur in an enormous labyrinth that Eddie apparently spent a year building on his own dime!

I'm also kind of indebted to his existence because Eddie in BTAS spinoff comics is just. my favorite little guy. him!

Dave Franco (Young Justice)

I'm gonna keep this quick because there isn't a lot to say: this Riddler kind of sucks but is also pretty much spot-on. like he's irritating but the whole narrative knows he's irritating; sweet baby Dick Grayson seems fucking exhausted the second he shows up and all the other villains at Belle Reve bully him like a bunch of cunty middle schoolers. I'm a simple man; I love when even the other villains want to kill this man on sight. his design also kind of sucks; like there are so many elements here that sort of work but just aren't that remarkable altogether? he looks like he does other bad guys' taxes.

having said all of that I do genuinely adore that in his first episode he's the only guy who manages to break out of Belle Reve during what was planned to be a mass breakout, especially given that the aforementioned bullying would strongly suggest nobody even told him that was going to happen. I love when he's the slippiest boy! escaping things is sort of a riddle; let him have that.

also, hey, I have to say this: it's just. so weird that he's Dave Franco. he's not bad in the role at all but. why.

Jim Rash (Harley Quinn: The Animated Series)

speaking of animated shows that know he's annoying and just roll with it!!

I like the Harley Quinn series quite a lot for a lot of reasons, mainly because it's not precious about the DC mythos and will frequently just do some buckwild shit with very established characters with absolutely zero hesitations. the Riddler is the opposite of that; this show knows exactly why and in what ways he's supposed to be an insufferable little freak and they go for it full throttle. don't love the bald + question mark tattoo look but he's gay so it balances out.

Hasan Minhaj (Batman Unburied)

yeah there's no normal way to explain this one, this version of the Riddler crawled deep inside one of my brain wrinkles and is still sitting there chirping like a cricket. I can't even explain why but if I think about him too long I begin frothing at the mouth. I think about him a profoundly abnormal amount and I feel great about it. he's only in four episodes and managed to rot a hole in my psyche in significantly less than that. I just think he's neat. he's awful. he's pathetic. he's my little meow meow. I don't want anyone to fix him. I'll cry if he gets worse. I want to see him implode. I've said it before and I'll say it again, whatever happens in season 2 of Unburied is going to make me truly unbearable as a human being.

#edward riddlehands

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weebsinstash · 1 year

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Anyways so I found a werewolf audio book that's so bad I had to share it with you guys which is a shame because the young female narrator actually does a competent job

So our victim today is Back and Better by NighttShadee and, in the beginning, I had high hopes. It sounded like this was a revenge/glow-up story, and the opening was compelling enough. (tw for nonconsensual acts like forced kissing and like forced marking, suicide, bullying, etc)

This is a really long post, I'm mostly just describing the story and cringing and bitching lol. And when I say long like I basically go into the events that happen over 14 chapters lmao 💀 this shit got me MAAAAAD (plus an actually good recommendation at the very end for a story I actually really liked and found surprisingly high quality for the platform c:)

Amira Warner is 15 (already i am super uncomfortable with the protag being this young), being bullied by her pack and schoolmates, including the pack's alpha's son, Erebus (and you always know some bullshit will happen when they have these dumbass names). They all just call her stupid and weak and fat and a slut and just straight up a cunt, didnt expect to get audibly slapped with the c word on a youtube ad trailer but whatever, and her brother is also one of the bullies, but her parents never do anything because they're literally never home because they travel for work or take constant vacations, idk, but Amira also uhhh makes no effort to tell them what's going on. She blames them for not being around to support her which is valid but she also literally quite literally never even tells them anything whatsoever, that she's being bullied OR that her brother is involved

Like literally, she introduces herself narratively as "my name is Amira Warner, im 15, turning 16 tomorrow, im the bitch of the red river pack, I am beaten and verbally abused every single day". And of course Erebus is her main bully and it is specifically said he is the MAIN ONE WHO BEATS HER

So anyways Amira attempts suicide, and while she's bleeding out, she's discovered by three young boys who are her same age, and they basically give her emergency medical care, and adopt her into their pack since one of them is the future alpha of their pack and he can just do that (lucky her). And there's 3 of them, brothers, but only one of them matters: the future Alpha, Damon. So they're gonna adopt her into their pack right, but before that Amira is gonna head home, grab some of her things, leave a note for her parents, and then leave in the morning on her 16th birthday which is also the day she's supposed to awaken as a wolf, but also, she prays to the moon goddess that, if her mate is in this pack, the pack that abused her, thay she won't feel the pull of the mate bond, and can find a second chance mate elsewhere

Moon Goddess said bet IN THE WORST WAY POSSIBLE but we get to that later and also yeah she meets the moon goddess, just straight up converses with God multiple times, it's kind of stupid and I actually genuinely hate the moon goddess as a character. The moon goddess makes her promise she's never going to hurt herself again but then knowingly gives her a toxic mate?

So anyways it's her birthday and on top of awakening as a wolf, today is also the day she's supposed to find her mate and 🙄 of course it's Erebus. He waltzes straight up to her after smelling her scent, all "mine" but luckily, Moon Goddess is a G and Amira feels nothing from the mate bond. Absolutely nothing. So she tells him to go fuck himself straight to his face while he's bewildered she's not absolutely tripping over him like he feels for her, and she even outright tells him he is one of the biggest reasons she tried to commit suicide the day before. And after years of bullying her and telling her shit like her only purpose is to be weak and abused, suddenly this bitch is crying actual tears, "Amira no, please, no no no I'm so sorry I love you 🥺" like fucking Bakugo over here giving less than shit when it's too late like actually kys bro

She literally laughs in his fucking face when he's visibly upset she says she doesn't want to be his mate. Queen. She literally says "that sucks alpha, that is really unfortunate" and drives away from him lmaooooo (also who wrote this, we don't let 15 year olds drive??? Yeah this is technically on her 16th birthday but she wouldn't have a license, maybe a learners permit, and that still requires an adult present)

So she leaves and meets the three boys again and they adopt Amira into their pack but also their family and for the next about two years she's literally raised as their sibling, remember, they're all 15/16, right. So anyways after she's rescued, it turns out, oh boy she's a super extra duper special WHITE WOLF who is super extra strong and pretty and also fucking Aang for some reason? She deadass has elements and weather control and it's written in a very cheesy uh Wattpadesque way and also despite being a victim of bullying she kind of lowkey instantly becomes a bitch upon finding out she's a white wolf, and I don't mean "getting back at those who doubted me" I mean like "since she's one of the strongest wolves it's her job to train other wolves from her new pack and she constantly verbally berates them and calls them ladies and little girls and basically acts like a pick me the second she holds the smallest crumb of authority, talking down to grown men just because she's physically stronger than them" like its very jarring to go from her attempting suicide to, chapter 3 is an 18 month time skip where she's immediately treating other people who don't even really know her in a similarly bully-like way (btw the 18 month time skip meaning she is now 17 1/2 which is important because I think she may actually still be a minor when creepy stuff happens later...)

Anyways, theres been a lot of packs being attacked by rogues which in my opinion are the lucky ones because they're the ones who aren't in packs but it's framed as them being outcasts and criminals but when you consider how dangerously close pack dynamics veer into outright cult behavior like, it makes you rethink things. So Amira is told "since our pack is the biggest and strongest, we're sending people out to help train up the other weaker packs" and just guess where her new adoptive Alpha father is knowingly and intentionally sending her back :) and when she rightfully brings up "hey uh you're literally sending me back to the people who made me try to kill myself not even like 2 years after it happened" and he's just like "I know I'm sorry sweetie it's a real cowabummer :( but ya gotta cause, for the greater good or something, I dunno, do what I say lol, you wont be gone long" and there's a line about how she respects his rank as her alpha enough to obey him even though she doesn't want to do this and I really gotta say, it bothers me how everyone tells her it's valid she's upset but still expects her to go. They even later acknowledge, well, maybe we SHOULD HAVE just sent an Alpha from another pack instead, since this place holds trauma for you, and it's like YEAH SHE'S FUCKING 17, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE

Just. Grr! This girl is SURROUNDED by toxicity and it only gets worse

So Amira and her brothers Damon, Jason, and Derek all go back to her old pack, and it helps since they very close sibling relationship, they all have physical play fights and wrestling that is very sibling-like but it does get kind of cheesy and stupid sometimes. Like chasing her down to tickle her because she ate all the brownies she baked herself without sharing any? Or hiding snacks? And uh of course they find a way to make this gross too, which we cover later

I also wanna point out, as someone relistening as we speak, she emphasizes that being a white wolf means "i have a banging body and a hot face" and its just like, what so you turned 16 and after your first shift your body was instantly different? While you're still technically a kid btw, just instant convenient glow up? It would've been better to say she toned up after being able to shift and train with her new family but this story is pretty uh, weird and cringey at times, like bending over backwards to say what a #girlboss she is when she really barely did anything or did something objectively shitty

. Like, she goes to train the adults, and a 22 year old asks why she only gives commands but never spars herself, and yeah he's slightly mean like "oh she's just 17, I could probably beat her" and how does she respond? During the fight she tells him "say uncle and I'll stop" while twisting his arm and he says nothing so she just BREAKS HIS ARM and it's played off as, oh its fine he's a wolf he'll heal, but then she's like "someone call a medic, we have a LADY down" like at this point during my first listening I was seriously confused on how I was supposed to relate and empathize with such an unlikable protagonist? Like girl you were literally called misogynistic slurs and you upgraded to beating up grown men and calling them women like, you internalized that shit, not conquered it 🙄 also a lot of these werewolf stories, not just this one, kind of seem to gloss over "oh yeah we're more rowdy and violent and show pda more and it's not uncommon to accidentally find people fucking in the woods but that's our culture cause we're wolves lol 🤪" really because you all have science and medicine and your own forms of government and half of you are using smartphones and driving Lamborghinis so I feel that, let's be blunt, the sheer debauchery and barbarianism is an active choice and they're kind of just the equivalent of people who run around doing blatantly archaic and cruel shit under the guise of "but.... but tradition tho? 🥺"

Also, because it's happening again, really cannot emphasize how they keep complimenting her body and eventually even outright talk about sex clubs and bondage before she's sven 18. Like sorry I don't want to hear about how this 17 year old is "5'5 with a DD cup and a flat stomach but a big ass" yeah and I'm sure she has a magic thigh gap too 🙄 like in hindsight they deliberately keep her a minor so she's still going to high school for plot convenience but then they put her in REALLY gross and creepy situations. Like as I'm listening to this again I'm double checking and mentions of time passing to see if she's even 18 by the time. Creepy stuff happens.

So when she's going to the Red River Pack, Amira's friend Samantha starts to ask "so you really can't feel the mate bond?" To which Amira replies "no unless he marks me which isn't going to happen" which, forced mating isn't new for these stories but im always very cautious of stories that bring this up because it can be. Skeezy if not properly handled. So. Hypothetical strike 1?

When Amira and the others get back to her old pack and Erebus sees her again, he's still all "mine" and she just brushes it off and tries to talk about training, when Amira's original blood brother shows up and she blows him off too, which, good for her in both regards. So since Damon is "the alpha of alphas", when he says "hey can we actually see our rooms now" erebus shuts up and settles down, and starts showing them around. Amira and Samantha break off to do some shopping before they start school the next day, and they happen to see Erebus buying flowers, which Amira assumes is for his girlfriend. Nope, he sees her walking to her car and is all "can we talk 🥺" and she's like "yeah, at training tomorrow, about strategy :)" and he's just so MOPEY, and saying "I've CHANGED" to which Amira replies, kinda cringe, "and I shit rainbows" and walks away

(Also as a side note I'd like to mention how extremely common it is for the main characters in these stories or side surrounding characters to be like cheesy tropes and it's explicitly said that Damon is a multi billionaire and Amira is "at about half of his networth" from receiving inheritance after she left the pack from her grandma and also money from training wolves but like that would also make her a billionaire??? But her family being extremely wealthy would make sense for why her parents travel to the point of abandoning her, but its just a little much. In fact i dont think you can legally touch inheritance money until youre 18)

So anyways she gets into another stupid play fight with her brothers because she created a snack stash with her own money but didn't share, and Erebus sees her using magic to mess with them, so now he's discovered "oh shit, my mate is a white wolf?"

So like, there are these concepts of these people acting more feral like when it comes to their mates, and she's rejected him, but not like, officially right? Like in a lot of these stories, you can officially break the matebond by verbally declaring something like "I Rhiannon Michael's reject you Nathan Thorn as my chosen mate" and it, severs it? Like a magic cancellation, albeit with negative consequences. So Amira goads Erebus and says "doesn't it suck knowing you couldve had a white wolf as your mate?" To which Damon adds "yeah, now she gets a second chance mate and you just have a forever broken mate bond. I bet your pack will die out"

(A lot of these stories have concepts of "the alphas strength is the whole packs strength, they're the strongest with their true mate", so I assume this is what it means. Also, hhhh kinda lowkey gives me story ideas for a yandere werewolf or whatever who not only wants to but HAS TO keep his squirmy reluctant little human mate because his pack is literally stronger with her there)

But anyways Erebus' definitely mature adult response to this is "you're getting a second chance mate? NO! You're MINE" and CHARGES at her, but with a flick of her hand she knocks him away with a wind shield and mocks him saying she's going to choose another hot sexy alpha over him, but then, chooses to physically approach him, to which he grabs her, spins around, and is straddling her in the ground 🙄 there is an increasing feeling of wariness and uncomfortableness as Erebus nips at her earlobe while growling "mine" and Amira admits to it being pleasurable because, im sitting here thinking, why from a narrative standpoint would you include this detail, that at least physically it feels good to have this forced unwanted touch, from a man whos bullied a girl into suicide, what is the intent here, and i quickly reached a theory and felt a pit open up in my stomach. Red flag number 2. And then when Amira attempts to knock him off with her powers? Nothing happens, and Erebus giddily exclaims that a white wolf can't use their powers while their mate is touching them and wants to will them away

MAJOR RED FLAG. So the inherent powers she has in her own body can be forcibly stopped by someone else in a story about her trying to have her own autonomy and freedom? And she's being forced down by a man she's rejected and made her miserable and cannot use her own powers to get him off of her while he's beginning to basically assault her? RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG and then she just, like, briefly overpowers him, and is all "hah, I don't need powers to fight you! Right brothers? Let's go eat chips lmao" like not even joking it just abruptly ends like that, they just leave Erebus to go eat snacks and the next chapter (5) starts

So, chapter 5, Amira, her 3 brothers, and Samantha are all eating breakfast in the packhouse when her brother walks in, and, wouldn't you know, calls for their parents. And Amira is like, "oh, why would fake mom and dad be here? They're always gone?" But sure enough, in walk her parents, with a fucking two month old baby. Like. Its not properly addressed in the story itself so I just really want to rage that these people literally had their daughter attempt suicide and literally leave a note for them telling them she's running away to a new family and never wants to see them ever again and they just??? REPLACED HER??? It is COMPLETELY glossed over and not addressed AT ALL. Did they even MOURN HER? And of course the baby is a girl, NAMED MIRA. THEY REPLACED HER. THEY REALLY FULL ON DEADASS REPLACED HER AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM.

Like it is not addressed at all. Amira isn't even mad they have another baby besides hoping they don't do the same thing to it that they did to her? Like sorry in some hypothetical scenario where I found out my daughter tried to kill herself partially because of her brother, my son, and she ran away saying I wasn't her family and she wanted nothing to do with me ever again, I think I would hesirate to just immediately spit out another baby after pretty obviously failing my first two attempts? What quiverfull bullshit is this?

But Amira just walks up to them and is all "what I went through drove me to suicide, so love this little girl and give her everything you have, give her all the love you never gave me" but also like uh, you would think her parents would be like emotional and sobbing upon seeing her again and their reactions are more just, very muted and I think that may just be this author being kind of. Shit lmao. The mom just repeats how Amira addressed herself as someone else's daughter but, the conversation is interrupted because Mira is crying hysterically (vaguely implied because Amiras mom isn't very good at, momming) and, ugh, it's emphasized how immediately Mira becomes so calm that she falls asleep upon being in Amira's arms and that "I already feel so much love for this little girl, my little Mira" like she's literally crying tears holding this baby, and my uncomfortable feelings increase because literally the very second this happened I said aloud "oh god are they going to kill off her parents and make her raise her own sister just to show how sweet and motherly she is" and uh. :| well. Anyways Amira immediately asserts that she's going to be constantly visiting to check in on her little sister, and at this point I groan because I realize the little sister is a plot device so that Amira doesn't have the option of just finishing this training stuff and then never coming back to Red River. But anyways she demands her parents show her how to make Mira's formula and the story makes a point of showing how Amira is becoming increasingly reluctant to "stay mad" at her family, which uh would be the only reasonable reaction to be perfectly honest. But since Amira's hands are busy feeding Mira, which is only something she's insisting on doing, her parents are still right here the whole time, she turns to her brothers and asks which one of then is going to feed her, and of course Erebus walks in while Jason is spoonfeeding her pancakes

IMMEDIATELY "MINE, the only man feeding you should be me, you're mine!

"Jason is my brother??? Leave before I set you on fire, there's a BABY here."

So anyways Amira is leaving and there's this stupid part where they make it obvious that Mira prefers Amira over her own birthmother, sobbing the second her mother takes her back, and at this point I'm convinced they're killing off the parents, but, it transitions into a conversation where she deliberately pisses off Erebus on purpose by saying "maybe I'll fool around with someone" to which he bangs a fist on the desk "no you WONT fool around with a man that's not me 😤" and Amira retorts "I can fool around with anyone I want, because I'm hot as fuck, and you have no power over me" nd I'm thinking, good for her, albeit she's still 17 so, like, don't have her have sex at all maybe? And she retorts to him "go mark a pack slut"

And Erebus gets offended by this, but the ACTUAL red flag is DAMON'S reaction, which is "Erebus, hurt my sister and I'll kill you, Amira, fool around with a man I don't approve of, and I'll MAKE YOU WATCH AS I BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY. Understand?"

Oh, so, you mean to tell me that the brother figure who saved her from dying who has only known her for two years is also beginning to show signs of being possessive and controlling towards her in a potentially not platonic way? Ok. Ok. Red flag. Red flag for sure. Like genuinely the reason I'm going into so much detail is the sheer layers upon layers of ways Amira gets fucked over and betrayed. Also to take her out of the room, he threw her over his shoulder and carried her out? And she says if it wasn't for her real brother Brendan that Damon would be the worst brother ever, to which Brendan who literally used to beat her comes up all hurt like "w was I really that bad of a big bro🥺" to which Amira replies the title of the chapter, 1438, the amount of times her brother physically put his hands on her. She literally begins reciting the figures on how many wounds left marks, how many wounds left scars, and I remember listening to this scene and thinking, "you had the dedication or perhaps spite to keep mental track of all your injuries to the point of counting them but you never sought help from any adult whatsoever????"

But Brendan is legitimately crying and saying he's full of regret and that his parents get on him every day, but Amira just says "fuck you, if we weren't blood I would beat you senseless and light you on fire" and also the father waits until like the very end of this conversation to say "you hit her over 1400 times?" And Amira leaves with her new brothers while her father starts scolding her old brother

So at this point we're thinking, good for Amira, she's starting to really show Erebus and her old family up huh? She's showing everyone how much she doesn't need them and how she's moved on. This is exactly what I want from "you made me try to kill myself stories so now I want either revenge or nothing to do with you" stories.

SO IMAGINE MY ABSOLUTE PAIN AND DEVASTATION WHEN CHAPTER 6 OPENS WITH

EREBUS' POV

LITERALLY i was listening to this story while working and I went, out loud, "NOOOOO THAT MEANS HE'S THE MALE LEAD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS". So I try to form a protective mental barrier of denial. Maybe they're just showing his POV to rub his nose in how he's fucked up and give us the audience satisfaction? After dropping this story, I actually found another story that did that, that had POVs for both the new and old boyfriend and would cut to the old one to show him scheming, so, when this chapter came along, I was DEVASTATED but tried to think, hey, this, this isn't immediately game over, right?

Wrong

So the chapter starts from Erebus' point of view starting off from him walking in on Amira being fed and his internal monolog is as creepy as you would expect "oh my perfect mate, when I'm near her, I just want to hug her, kiss her, tie her down, and fuck her until she's mine" (again, she's still 17 at this point, I know I keep saying it but, not a big fan of the constant sexualization of a minor in what's supposed to be a female empowerment story?) . And or course his dumb ass internal thoughts are about how he's changed as a person, he reprimands other people for bullying, but he's also told everyone in the pack that Amira is his mate even though she already told him no. And then he has this internal thought process of "no, just mark her by force so she feels the bond. But that would be cheating. We have to do this the right way" but like uh him saying it's wrong does not undo the fact he's even considering forcing her, which, well, later on---

(Also lmao ms 5'5 DD cup huge ass flat tummy Amira is also described as having 'a tiny waist' like girl cmon)

Should I also mention we only have a female narrator so, she also does the men, so, that can be a little. Awkward lol. She has a decent range but, it's still "girl making her voice deeper to try and be a dude". I think she does a good job, simply mentioning, there are other stories with multiple VAs, which I'm getting to later, but, I figured I would mention how the story sounds besides the writing quality itself

Anyways uh Erebus overhears Amira's brothers talking about him, and one of them is like, do you think Amira will ever forgive Erebus, and Damon deadass responds "not sure, if she does I'd be highly apprehensive, but he really seems he regrets his actions, so if she chooses to give him a chance, I'll be there for her" ummmmm the fuck? How would you fucking know? Who are you to even say it seems like Erebus has regrets? And does him having regrets somehow magically undo what he did? It's the fact this is Damon who is Amira's number 1 supporter saying this, that Erebus would vaguely deserve some sort of chance after what he did? And of course Erebus hears all this and says "see she's gonna give me another chance, I believe in the mate bond"

Also if there's an official statement to break the mate bond why didn't Amira just say it instead of insulting him and running off. Like. Red flag.

Erebus witnesses another sibling tickle fight and keeps internally calling her his mate, which is gross, and, oh no anime trope, she was running away and tripped right into him and stumbled them both right over 🥺👉👈 and Damon scoops her up, mocking him and thanking him for catching his sister and saying at least hes good for something. And Erebus, full simp mode, says "as long as I get a chance to hold her, that's fine" and like Damon has a visible sympathetic reaction, gross, and Erebus is all "I hope he hears the sincerity in my voice uwu"

So. Gosh, I know I've written so much at this point, so I may skip some scenes, or only mention footnotes until significant events, but we haven't even come NEAR the PEAK BULLSHIT that happens later

-she confronts her old class again and is all edgy and stupid about it tbh. "Before you all made me slit my wrists, but now I'm here to train this pathetic pack" ok edge lord some of them may have just been minding their own business. The entire classroom calls her "Luna" which is the Alpha's mate and top pack female

-Erebus pushes her up against a wall, you're mine, I love you, and she just replies, oh that must be a shitty feeling, loving someone who will never love you back. Queen. She gets away from getting out of his grip and threatening to burn him and then invites him for a formal fight behind the packhouse after school

-she for some reason was going to go meet him alone? Her brothers only came with after they found out

-she verbally acknowledges she can't hurt him as her mate, but doesn't formally reject him so he, you know, isn't her mate anymore? Like girl you have a solution to the problem?

-"the old me you knew died when she slit her wrists" cringe

-she gets him struck by lightning and gives a dramatic speech telling him dtuff like she tortures without a second thought and he wouldn't want her as his mate since she'd kill him in his sleep and as she's walking away SHE'S CRYING "BECAUSE IT HURTS TO DO THIS TO HER ALPHA WHO CARES ABOUT HIS PACK, AT THE END OF THE DAY HE'S STILL MY MATE AND IT MAKES ME SAD TO HURT HIM" GIRL YOU FUCKING LOSER, TF, genuinely hated this bitch at this point, imagine getting beaten daily for years and years and then just forgiving that and even loving that person. Vomit vomit vomit

-Amira decides the pack is too weak to be trained by her just yet and she doesnt want to stay in the pack house, so she's going to go to a hotel, and also tells all this to her brothers and Erebus, and also to stop telling the pack to call her Luna. Erebus says no, just because he doesn't want her staying in a hotel, not even her not wanting to train them yet, because 'she's his mate and he wants her close to protect her, and the pack calls you Luna because you're my queen and my everything and we WILL be together and mate" gross gross gross

-Amira tells him straight up she'd rather die than be marked by him yet doesn't reject him officially

-Erebus basically threatens to hold her in captivity on suicide watch and mark her without her consent "if she doesn't accept me in the near future"

-white wolves have natural strong maternal feelings which is stupid :/ I thought this was a bad bitch story, fuck them kids, she's still a kid herself, gross

-Erebus sees her helping this little girl Ariel who fucked up her ankle while playing and climbing a tree and he says this gross ass comment like "you're going to be the perfect mother to our pups" 🤮🤮🤮🤮

-Amira tells Ariel's parents not to call her Luna and for some reason this makes them sad? Shouldn't they respect how she feels? She isn't Erebus' mate officially, and then he strolls in trying to emotionally manipulate her by saying she's "breaking their hearts"

-"I used to care about breaking hearts until I cut my wrists from my own heart being broken" and you wanna think yeah bitch you tell him

Or so you would think, right? Except no, ot instantly transitions into describing how he managed to shower and is looking oh so handsome and sexy in a tight shirt that shows his muscles through it AND THIS BITCH ACTUALLY SAYS "OH HE'S SO HOT, I WOULD FOOL AROUND WITH HIM IF IT WASNT FOR OUR HISTORY, ACTUALLY I MIGHT WIND UP DOING THAT ANYWAYS" LIKE, HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT

By this point (speaking in past tense of my first listen, refreshing my memory on second go around) I am incredibly uncomfortable with the framing of this story as it feels almost definitive that Erebus is going to be forgiven and eventually rewarded with Amira, which, no, that's not why I read these stories, and you definitely are going to get on a lot of bad sides having a genuinely awful guy continue to be awful but be only slightly nicer and then never have to face consequences for his past

- Erebus insists that even if she doesn't feel the mate bond, she'll start to be attracted to him, he's, quote, "known as something of a sex god" even though he should realistically only be 17 or 18 years old, so, cap, little boy

-the depictions of Erebus touching her nonconsensually, like holding her down or pinning her against walls, starts to become increasingly fetishized. He corners her and basically tells her his preferred method of punishment is overstimulation and, she's a 17 year old virgin. she thinks this is all hot by the way and thinks "anything that happens between us would merely be fooling around" so its like oh great now you're repeatedly entertaining thoughts and admitting to yourself you find him "incredibly sexy"

So, chapter 9 right. The chapter is called "mate" and something about the simplicity and topic makes me think, oh shit, is this 'it'? 👀 are we here?

Amira's adoptive dad decides to send more Alphas to help Amira with the weaklings. Amira officially moves her things out of the pack house to stay at her fancy hotel in a royal suite "that's basically like an apartment", and she goes to eat at the restaurant at the hotel because, the other Alphas being sent over are also at her exact same hotel and, why not meet them? And upon entering the restaurant, she smells something and she feels this voice I side herself say MATE and she worries, shit, is Erebus here?

"And I look around in a panic, and Erebus is here BUT THATS NOT WHAT I WAS SMELLING"

AT THIS POINT IM HOLLERING, YES FINALLY WE'RE REPLACING THIS BITCH EREBUS, SECOND CHANCE MATE LET'S GO. It's another Alpha, Christian of the Oak Wood pack, and "holy fuck the mate pull is strong" so she's instantly dickmatized, like instantly feeling goo-goo over him. And he adores her and they start making up, which of course makes Erebus mad. And Christian says outright, "you don't deserve her, she's mine" so he obviously knows the story between them? But Amira and him are all doe eyed and she even sits on his lap after he pulls her close, but, y'all you're in a public restaurant... ew.....

So Erebus is sitting there glowering for the rest of the meal until Christian's men leave them alone for privacy, and this bitter bitch really says "let's cut the shit, white wolves are known for having more than one mate,and are known for being shared song them, the way I see it, you and I will have to share" and Amira snorts because that's absolutely fucking stupid and Christian is. Dead silent. "For several minutes"?

And then

This

Absolute little cunt of a man

Just says straight up

"I HONESTLY DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT"

The fuck? The FUCK? DID YOU NOT JUST ACKNOWLEDGE THE WHOLE SUICIDE THING THAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THEM?

But then this bitch, this bitch CONTINUES, "BUT I SUPPOSE YOU ARE CORRECT, I AM FINE WITH SHARING, IF THAT IS WHAT THE MOON GODDESS CHOSE"

screaming crying pissing throwing objects violently howling at the moon as I rage 'WHAT ABOUT WHAT AMIRA FUCKING WANTS', like girl throw the whole goddamn man away, he literally INSTANTLY ruined this and he JUST got here. this moron literally says "I can tell we were meant to share you, and I don't fuck with fate, I can tell he's different from the man who bullied you" oh so you know him better than his victim c: you know her pain? She should forgive it because he's magically changed but not really? And she should just BE SHARED? C: drink bleach

Oh and Christian is an 18 year old high school senior so he's transferring to Amira's school so basically every aspect of her life is being smothered with one of these prices.

Amira, literally, overhears Erebus and Christian talking in the school library about how "she's bound to come around, but if it isn't in the next few days, we may have to forcefully mark her"

So like, they're basically scheming to rape her. Ok. Let's not mince it. They are scheming to force upon her an act that will nonconsensually and permanantly alter how her brain and feelings and even her biology functions and basically force her to have feelings for them against her will. This is basically the kind of thing I would write, but the difference is I write stalker fetish porn and not, stories legitimately marketed as romance that's supposed to, like, idk, frame the guys as good, desirable people. They plot about even hiring witches to enchant restraints like handcuffs and ropes, and they're talking about things in such scary serious detail it's obvious they plan on doing this for real. And then they sense her outside the library and she tries to run, but of course she gets caught by Erebus :/ she has to "suppress the shiver that threatens to go down her spine" when he nibbles her ear and goes down to where her mate mark would be, gross, and "let's out a moan that's not completely forced" to lure him into false security for her to escape and create a barrier with magic, and oh, she suddenly remembers, she had a magical werewolf mindlink with her brothers, duh? All werewolves have mindlinks

Erebus is all "Amira we're your MATES, we're here to love amd care about you, but you have to LET US" this is like genuine fucking delusional yandere levels of denial and lack of accountability like, the Oscar goes to these men for the ability to act like they ain't the ones acting like total rapist nightmare creeps that she shouldn't have immediately called the werewolf police on

Anywaya, so in the past I was thinking, ok, ok, this has got to be, like, a red herring, right? How Erebus is so terrible and then Christian is immediately a piece of shit too? They just said several mates earlier, so, maybe she chooses number three? Is there a number three?

Mate number three is her fucking brother Damon and they all find out when he appears to rescue her. NUMBER THREE IS HER FUCKING ADOPTIVE FOUND FAMILY BROTHER WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SOURCE OF SAFETY AND TRUST AND SUPPORT FOR HER AND HE WAS BASICALLY ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH HER AND WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO LOVE HER AS A SIBLING AND ALL THOSE TIMES HE WAS ROUGHHOUSING AND SHE THOUGHT HE WAS BEING A PLATONIC BRO? NO HE WAS FEELING HIS ALPHA URGES. CARRYING HER WHENEVER SHE WAS SICK OR TIRED? ACTING ON HIS PROTECTIVE URGES OUT OF ROMANTIC LOVE.

But OH NO, they don't immediately know it's him, Erebus and Christian start freaking out and when Amira says "that's bullshit, I would feel the mate bond otherwise", Damon is just like "well, I know something I could do that might kickstart it if its there but you'll probably hate me for this" and suddenly kisses her without asking and thats how it is confirmed, yeah, he's number 3 and she likes kissing him, until she's panting afterwards 😩

-he carries her off into her car and there's this whole "no don't carry me k can walk, don't buckle my seat belt im an adult" "no Amira you're my mate and rhat involves giving this relationship my all, and that includes carrying you, protecting you, and fucking you--" she's still 17 and you were her "brother" just 5 minutes ago dude. But she gets horny from this 🙄 and. He can smell it.

-conversation about how she's a virgin who's never even masturbated, instantly transition to "he cups my pussy through my pants" YO SHE'S STILL 17 THO???

-Damon booked a suite down the hall from hers at her hotel 🙄 she instantly starts to hook up with him, UNTIL HE SUDDENLY MARKS HER WITHOUT ASKING, AND SHE LITERALLY SCREAMS NO. She says that he knew she wasn't ready and she was too much of her own person to be marked yet and this stupid bastard replies "no you ARE ready, I KNOW you're ready" ok you freak, you've technically known her for not even two years. You know her better than she knows herself? You know her so well it entitles you to break such an intense intimate personal boundary???

So now she's marked by him, against her will, and he's confident in his decision, and, like, it lowkey reads as a horror film because he transitions into how he knows she's scared but he's going to love and protect her but like he basically just MARKED HER SOUL without even a warning? It's like? That's rape dude? There's no glossing over that? You just changed an extremely huge part of her autonomy, bodily, emotionally, psychologically, against her will, and you're just telling her to chill because you love her and she's initially in love with you?

For a woman's empowerment story Amira sure keeps meeting men she is supposed to love and trust who bring some sort of unspeakable betrayal or harm upon her and it only gets worse.

-he marked her but they didnt have sex, awkward transition to two days later

-they're cuddling when Damon gets hard and randomly starts talking about how much he loves his women helpless, he loves bondage and overstimulation and how seeing a girl writhe in denial and overstimulation

-she's turned on, she's deciding you know what, after dinner I'm gonna fuck this man after we got out to dinner. She is INFATUATED with this guy, can't even focus on her food. She does this weird, seductive licking and sucking vanilla ice cream off her lips and fingers since she figures he's already paid the bill so it doesn't matter if he embarrasses them both by carrying her out which he does

But anyways so, they dont have sex again but its the next day, we're moving on to another really uncomfortable plot point. Damon pulls Amira aside and says "hey, with female wolves with multiple mates, when you're marked by one, you go crazy with the urge to mate wirh the others" ok pause, so because he marked her against her will, she is now magically horny for erebus and Christian where she wasn't before, and now they're magically going crazy because they can sense she's been marked and they ""need" to mark her now? This is so fucked up and unfair, where is her CHOICE, why is she a side character in her own story???

so, I don't really like any of these options, but out of the three, at least Damon will protect her from those that try to harm her, right?

WRONG

This

Little

Absolute

Cunt

Says

"YEAH NOW THAT I'M YOUR MATE, I ALSO SHARE A SORT OF BOND WITH CHRISTIAN AND EREBUS, OF RESPECT AND UNDERSTANDING, AND I NO LONGER WANT TO STOP THEM BEING WITH YOU"

psycho. Absolute freak. Marks her by force, and then says he's going to share her with the guy who pushed her to suicide, like DAMON WAS THE ONE WHO literally found her dying, and another guy she's already rejected. So. The betrayals really do keep adding up don't they? Like it's really unsettling how no one is truly in Amira's corner?

So she stands up and says "fuck you" because she feels hurt and betrayed by him, and there's this, extremelt cringey exchange, really genuinely cringey is the only word I can use, so she's trying to walk away from him, he grabs her from behind, lightly squeezes her throat, and says "you WILL calm down or I will take you home and punish you and you would NOT like my punishments. Don't forget I am a Dominant and you are my Submissive" like 🤮🤮🤮 ok Christian Gray wannabe bitch go fys

Amd Amira gets out of his grip and is rightfully enraged he'd threaten her and says he better watch out because she can pray to the moon goddess to remove their bond, and he just like, isn't even listening to her, and he says, "oh that's another thing we'll have to work out, you'll be a Sub to three Alpha Doms" and she's like "what" and casually he's like "yeah we're actually pretty popular at some of the CLUBS around here as famous Doms"

Oh, so. Let me. Let me run this back. Her three mates are her childhood bully who verbally belittled her and also horribly beat her, some new prick she doesn't even know who is totally fine sharing with the bully and is also totally fine with forcing her, and her adoptive brother of two years who doesn't care about sharing either and has already marked her by force, and all three of them have also been running around performing as Dominants at sex clubs at a professional level to the point of being known as, quote, the best Doms out there, the most experienced? That's an enormous turn off for me actually! Y'all are seniors in high school acting as Doms? Is that even legal? Wow, I sure would feel great to know that all 3 of the mates forcing themselves onto me and saying I don't get a choice have already ran through countless other women!

Oh and then her birth parents die. I'm serious, theres like a two mimute transition between Damon saying they'll share to her hearing her parents are dying. They got into a car accident. Her mom dies first and the mate bond weakens and takes her father soon after, so now, just as I predicted, she now has custody of Mira and she furthers her role as a plot device

-she's dumb enough to answer the hotel room door without double checking and all three men force their way into her room with groceries and stuff, to 'help her', separating her from Mira, and they immediately start talking about gags and ropes, and sure enough they brought restraints and she's sitting there with a ball gag talking about how they've restraint proofed the entire hotel suite "wherever we go we can tie her up, even in the shower"

This is straight up fucking yandere bullshit. And she kind of jokingly says "oh they're Dominants, so being restrained is something I guess I'll have to get used to, oh wait I'm not accepting them what am I saying tee hee" girl what the actual fuck this is NOT the time for this.

So while she's gagged, she's basically mentally recounting how to formally reject a mate bond. It will recede on her end, but the mates will still feel ot "and also become crazy possessive, but they're already possessive anyways" so why does canceling the mate bond basically not have any negative consequences. So the second her gag is removed, she verbally rejects them all at once, and they physically collapse to their knees in pain

Um. So. Rejecting Damon apparently doesn't count because the Moon Goddess has to accept your rejection if you're already marked? And Christian says "I reject your rejection" and what does he do? MARKS HER BY FORCE. AND THEN SO DOES EREBUS. AND THEY KNOW MARKING HER BY FORCE WILL CAUSE HER BODY SIGNIFICANT PAIN BUT THEY DO IT ANYWAYS. She literally passes out from the strain of two forced marks.

So at this point its like, how could this get any worse?

How about God herself personally making it worse?

The Moon Goddess herself winds up appearing in a flash of light before Amira and the three men and basically, God, how do I even describe this weird ass fucking conversation. She's acting all holy and motherly and wants to hold Mira and talks to Amira like a mom and then she turns to the men and then, just barely sternly chastises them, saying they completely ignored Amira's consent, and "im going to give you all another chance, but hurt her again and I'll give her entirely new mates"

So. So. So. Ok. Ok. Even though Amira already rejected them though? Like I thought only Damon needed your approval? Christian and Erebus marked her by force after she already rejected them? Did her rejecting them not even matter? Does she have any power or agency at all? Hey, blue fairy bitch, she already told them no and their response was to force themselves on her, so why is your response, oh, I'LL give you another chance. Bitch it's not your choice? The fuck? Also they already proved they're scum? What the fuck? So now even GOD is willing to sell her out? The fuck? The fuck?

So first listen in, at this point I'm obviously incensed, I'm thinking, ok, surely some weird bullshit is going on here, maybe one or two or three of them die or she rejects them all in the end anyways, so I say, fuck it, and skip to like, the third ti last chapter

"Me, Damon, Erebus, and Christian all sat together in the diner--"

Throwing my goddamn phone out the window. Fuck this story man. Fuck these characters, fuck how she literally only had one real friend this entire story (Samantha), fuck how her agency snd choice was constantly taken away from her, just, fuck it all, this was genuinely like a horror story, like genuinely made me uncomfortable to listen to, like I was audibly saying "but that's like rape? That's basically rape? What the fuck?"

So in better news, on the same app that this story is on, DreameFm, is a much better story I listened to and would recommend :) it's The Perfect Luna and you can listen to the first 3 chapters here here and here, (oh you can go straight to downloading the app where the rest have to be bought with coins). It's got some 36 or something chapters which I find a pretty decent length and I think the quality of the story and the voice acting is really good!

It follows the story of Alpha and Luna Riannon Thorne as the story begins with her being killed by her cheating husband's lover and being sent back in time to try and do everything all over again! After she's sent back in time, she can't talk to or use her wolf at all and has to rely on her wits and knowledge of the future to navigate through her second lifetime, but as she starts doing things differently, she finds a much different outcome than before. The voice acting is pretty good, although the lady does change at chapter 26 which is a little jarring since it's more than halfway over at that point but I still found the story worth continuing. The male voice actor, I think there may be two, are also dedicated, and i think you guys may like some of the villains like the evil Fox King who even has his own harem ;) definitely a palette cleanser for the awful awful whiplash that Back and Better gave me 🤮 bluh. Definitely a good girl power listen uwu

#yandere stuff #jesus this is LOOOOOOOOOOONG #weebwolves

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