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peachypinkygloss · 9 months

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call me later — jjk

Summer break is always your favourite period of the year, enjoying the fresh water of the pool and the sun kissing your skin. Everything's going great until a sudden boy appears in your life and becomes the centre of your world.

☼ pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

☼ genre: strangers to fwb to lovers, summer break au, university au, smut

☼ word count: 2.5k

☼ warnings: kinda inspired by outer banks, rich kid!oc, jk's a munch, oc pushes jk away 😔, they're a bit awkward together lol, outdoor sex, unprotected oral sex, cunnilingus, fingering, brief overstimulation, cum eating.

a.n.: don't get fooled... this isn't cherry!jk ik this one's a munch too but they're very different. you'll see 😉

The sunlight gently graces the skin of your face, enveloping you in a warm embrace, relaxing both your limbs and mind. It's around one p.m., the perfect hour to sunbathe by the pool and to reread the PLL series.

That's what you had planned for today, but you ended up doing something vastly different. Something a bit unpredictable and perverted... To your defence, this would have never happened if he hadn't decided to show up.

Technically, he didn't decide, he's just following the schedule your dad gave him, but still. This isn't entirely your fault; it takes two people to do something like this.

Your chest heaves rapidly as you're looking down between your legs, a hand pulling on his black locks while the other is thrown over your forehead. The lounge chair doesn't allow you to have much space, but you're handling it pretty well you think.

He's handling it well too because you can't imagine how his knees must hurt right now. They're probably all red, but he doesn't seem to mind. He's such a good boy. He knows you'd do the same for him, so he doesn't complain.

Your book is long forgotten on the ground beside your chair and the bookmark has been quickly secured between the pages the moment things have begun to be more intense.

You softly moan, your sounds accompanying the chirps of the birds and the far away noises of the neighbours mowing their lawns. This is public, yet very private. The fences prevent anyone from looking — and there are small chances of people hearing you, considering how big your backyard is and how far your neighbours are — but that doesn't mean nobody can't walk in on you two.

This was really impulsive of you.

Though it's risky and kind of stupid, you regret nothing. How could you when he's so skilled with his tongue...

"Are you usually that vocal?" Jungkook wonders, a stupid grin drawn on his pretty face. He rubs slow circles on your clit to compensate for the loss of his mouth, waiting patiently for your answer.

You let out a pleasant sigh, watching the pads of his fingers playing with your pussy, tattoos inked on his skin and chunky rings adorning his fingers.

You sink your teeth in your bottom lip, collecting your thoughts as Jungkook traces your entrance, dipping his fingers in just a little bit. He really likes to tease.

"When I like the guy," you say breathily, lazy eyes blinking up to stare at him. This only brightens Jungkook's smile and you're confused as to why it makes your stomach flutter.

"You like me?" He smirks, satisfied you've just confessed to liking him.

But you didn't. Or did you? Damn it.

You roll your eyes and grip his hair again. "Get back to business," you groan. You don't miss the laugh he lets out while you push down on his head, shoving his face back between your thighs.

He slides his fingers in completely and you gasp softly, loving how they stretch you out really well. You roll your hips slightly, getting used to the feeling of being full.

Jungkook parts his fingers, scissoring your insides to see how much he can stretch your pussy. He hums as if he was listening to it, and you don't know what it told him, but that was surely good advice because the next thing he does sends you over the moon.

He pumps his fingers in you and wraps his lips around your clit, stimulating two areas at the same time. "Oh, my god, Jungkook," you moan in pleasure, twisting his hair in your fist.

You have a hard time focusing on anything else than him, feeling the cool silver of his piercings brushing against your skin and your wetness dripping down your ass every time he thrusts into you.

You pass your fingers through his hair, your eyes not once looking away from his pink lips sucking on your poor little clit. His digits enter and exit your wet cunt at a rapid pace, eliciting moans and whines out of you, taking your breath away.

You clench your thighs around his head, feeling so overwhelmed right now, but it doesn't seem to bother him at all, on the contrary. Your legs hang over his large shoulders, shaking a little bit as he darts his tongue out to lap at your swollen bud.

He's changed the rhythm of his fingers, going in less faster — but still fast enough to make you roll your eyes back — to go deeper instead. Your juices drip down to his knuckles and he can't believe how wet you are, especially during a hot temperature like this.

"Mmmh," you hear him mumble against your pussy, completely obsessed with it. "Your pussy's so wet, baby," he observes, circling your clit with his thumb to look at you for a second. "Taste so fucking sweet."

You know it's just dirty talk, but you have to admit it has your heart beating excitedly in your chest. He smiles at you as you're a little bit dizzy, drunk on your sexual pleasure.

"Thanks," you reply and he chuckles, finding adorable how you become a bit stupid from getting fucked by his fingers. He curls them into you and you moan out when he brushes against your magic spot, knitting your eyebrows together. "There!" You exclaim, feeling Jungkook's hot breath hitting your pussy as he tilts his head down to look at his hand.

"Right there, baby?" He repeats to make sure he has found the correct spot. You nod repeatedly when you feel the pads of his fingers patting the spongy spot inside you, the knot in your stomach tightening. "Yeah? Okay, I got you, princess," he coos and continues sensually moving his fingers in you.

He focuses on his digits, calculating every single one of his movements. Your pussy quivers around him and he understands you won't last long if he keeps going at this rhythm, but that's exactly his goal, so he continues.

Then he comes to lick at your puffy clit, left alone for too long now. You whimper when he does so, flattening his pink muscle over your bud and moving it from side to side, still pumping his big fingers in and out of your sloppy pussy.

"Fuck, Jungkook!" You whine, being so close to your orgasm. He has such a good technique that works for you, it's so hard to not fall apart as soon as he puts his mouth on you. "I'm gonna cum," you warn him, voice breathy and kind of desperate at this point.

He hums against you, sending vibrations through your body. You curl your toes as you feel it burning at the pit of your stomach, ready to rip off and send you over the edge.

"Don't stop, please," you beg him, but you don't have to worry, he has no intention of stopping, especially not when your moans sound so sweet to his ears.

You're not sure if you should cry, moan or scream. Your little brain is so confused, never been that close to an orgasm all because of a man's fingers and tongue.

Where was Jungkook all those times you couldn't make yourself cum or you were left frustrated by useless men who had absolutely no idea how a pussy worked? He really should have come sooner.

This is it, it grows rapidly in your stomach, a sensation so intense and euphoric, exploding and passing through your entire body like an avalanche. Your moans are stuck in your throat and your fingers pull harshly on Jungkook's hair, trying to not fall too far.

Your legs shake beside his head and he groans when you clench around him, sucking his fingers in, his tongue gently stroking your clit as you slowly drive off your high.

He slips out of your pussy, quickly licking his fingers clean before pulling your legs apart wider. He lowers his mouth to your quivering hole, literally making out with it and drinking your arousal out of you to satisfy his thirst.

He opens and closes his mouth on your pussy while your legs are still shaking, coming down from your previous orgasm. "Jungkook, this is too much," you say in a whiny voice, gasping softly when you feel his tongue teasing your entrance.

It's only when he hears the sound of a car parking at the front of the house that he pulls himself away from your leaking sex. You look at him, as confused as he is. He hurriedly wipes his chin with the back of his hand and he picks up your bikini bottom from the ground, handing it to you.

He stands up as you put back on your bikini. "I thought you said my dad wouldn't come back until five p.m.!" You whisper-shout at Jungkook, passing your fingers in your hair, trying to detangle it and make yourself presentable — and not like you've just received head from the hot guy your father hired to mow the lawn and maintain the pool this summer.

"Yeah, I thought so too," he answers, guilty he may have misheard what your dad said to him.

You sigh, taking your towel and your book in hand, ready to go back in the house, but before you can Jungkook grabs your arm. "Call me later, yeah?"

You look up at him, surprised he just asked you that. Does it mean he wants... more? See you in another context than at your house?

You swallow, wondering if that's what you want. You guess you never considered boys could be interested in knowing you or hanging out with you after having sex. You didn't think Jungkook would want that either.

Your attention is brought to your dad when he enters the backyard, waving at Jungkook and you. "Hey, kids!" He yells from across the yard and you can't help but roll your eyes. He walks up to you two and you wish you could escape, but you don't want to get reprimanded by your dad after.

"Hi, sir," Jungkook greets him, smiling politely. "I did the front of the house like you asked," he explains, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I've cut around the patio, too."

"That's awesome, you did a great job, Jungkook," your father nods his head, clearly a sign that he's really proud of him. "How long did it take you?"

"One hour and a half, I'd say," he answers, not really sure when he got the job done since, well, he's been a little distracted by something else.

"Good. I'll go take my wallet, I left it in the truck," he points behind him and then glances at you, giving you a tap on the back. "You enjoyed the pool, honey? You applied sunscreen, right?"

"Yes, dad," you groan. You want one thing and it's to get out of this awkward situation as soon as possible. Your father then disappears, going to take his wallet to pay Jungkook.

This one looks back at you, sweet eyes laying on you. "So?"

"I'll call you later," you confirm, not giving him time to answer and going back inside.

·˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ♡

You look around the convenience store, searching for energy drinks. When you find them, you open the fridge's door, hesitating between a Rockstar or a Monster. There aren't many flavours, but you know you definitely won't take one without sugar. You decide to settle for a Monster, Pacific Punch flavour.

Now for the food. You eye the tteokbokki, but also the spicy ramen. You should combine both. And take some for your father, too. He always has night cravings like you.

As you check the different brands of ramen, wondering which one you feel like eating the most, someone says your name.

"You didn't call me."

You turn around and your eyes widen when you see Jungkook standing in front of you. Your heartbeat accelerates and you don't know what to say.

Your plan was to hide in the house the next time he'd come, avoiding him seemingly the best idea you've thought about, but of course, he had to find you here.

You feel bad as he looks at you with disappointed eyes as if he actually thought you'd call, that you were different and not like the others. Turns out that you're not. You're exactly like them, exactly like the people who you grew up with and who you live with.

"Um, well, I..." You stammer, caught red-handed. You glance down, biting down on your lip, too much of a coward to hold Jungkook's gaze. "No, I didn't," you sigh, admitting your mistake. "I... forgot."

He only lets out a 'mh' and you're really embarrassed. Yes, it was childish of you, but you don't understand what he expected. He works for your dad, you don't go to the same university, you don't have the same circle of friends, you have nothing in common.

Yet, when you look at him, it's like he knows everything about you — every single one of your secrets and fears.

"You don't have your eyebrow piercing anymore," you comment suddenly, desperately searching for a way to make things less awkward, to redeem yourself or whatever that would make him stop looking at you like you're a bad person.

He touches his eyebrow as if to confirm his piercing's really gone. "Yeah, it was a bitch to disinfect," he shrugs and hides his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.

"I really liked it," you say honestly.

The corner of his mouth tugs upward and you can't help but do the same, butterflies erupting in your stomach. "I've noticed." His eyes glint and your face heats up immediately when you understand what he's referring to.

Last time, you couldn't stop running your fingers over his face, touching his eyebrow piercing when he was kissing you. You don't know why you were doing that, but there was something that really fascinated you about it.

Fortunately, Jungkook didn't mind you touching him. He quite really enjoyed it, in fact.

When he doesn't say anything else, you quickly take two packs of ramen with the tteokbokki and your energy juice. You turn around and Jungkook's still there.

"Are you eating with someone?" He questions and he knows how it sounds, but he's only curious. If it's the reason why you didn't call, he wants you to tell him.

"Um, it's for my dad and me," you reply. "We're the kind to eat at like... one a.m.," you chuckle and he smiles at the sound of your laugh. "And you?" You ask back even though he's not holding anything other than his cellphone.

"Oh, just filling up the gas tank," he points outside where his car is parked. "But I might take a snack. Yours make me hungry."

"You should," you nod your head.

He sends you a faint smile before passing by you, walking to the other aisle. You watch him for a second, analyzing his outfit. Black baggy jeans, a graphic white hoodie and beige beanie.

You go pay for your items and it's only when you push the door that you get a glimpse of Jungkook walking up to the cashier. He doesn't see you so you exit the store, refraining yourself from looking back.

·˚ ༘♡ ·˚ ♡

a.n.: hellooo you guys... 🤭

i had jungkook working for oc's dad in mind for likeee a long time and since it's summer, i finally found the time to write it... i have more planned for this fic (obvi because I wouldn't make it end like this 🫣), so this isn't just a drabble, it's more like a test to see if you're interested in this story. so tell me if you want it to become a lil series. ngl, i'm very insecure about this one idk why 😭 but let me know if you'd like to read a next part!

part 1: call me later ☼ part 2: call me soon ☾ part 3: call me tomorrow ☼

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts x reader #bts drabble #bts imagines #bts scenarios #jungkook fic #jungkook imagines #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook scenarios #jungkook x reader

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steventhusiast · 7 days

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Steve and Eddie both being autistic and not finding out until one of their kids gets diagnosed autistic in the late 2000s.

Turns out when you grow up not knowing you're processing things differently to everyone else, the alarm bells don't go off when your kids do the same. Not for them anyway. Not until a teacher called them to set up a meeting and gently suggested they get their kid assessed.

And while they're at the appointment, after making a few too many comments like "but that's normal right, I did that?" about different things, they end up leaving with a phone number for another doctor. Everything slots into place, they just don’t really know how to start unlearning their masks.

But they try. If not for themselves, for their kid, who they don’t want to grow up learning to detach themself and hide away from the world.

So they figure out how to help each other. They remind each other that stimming is okay and normal, try to set a good example for their kid of letting themselves self-regulate that way. They put time into figuring out everyone in their family's individual sensory sensitivities, and adjust their environments accordingly. They consciously try to be more direct with each other and their kids to avoid pointless misunderstandings. They try to work through the shame they feel when being their true selves around other people.

And they’re not always successful. But they do understand themselves a little better every day.

Plus, seeing their kid be able to grow up unmasked? To be authentically themself, without shame? It's healing. They never got to have that (may never truly have that), but they're gonna make damn sure their kid does.

#steddie #autistic steve harrington #autistic eddie munson #parents steddie #steddie drabble

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llamagoddessofficial · 8 months

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Oh my stars, Im biting the moth boys

How would they react to an Mc that messes with their fluff as a stim?

Sans: He's good at playing it cool. He acts like there's nothing unusual about what she's doing. He's fully aware that she doesn't know the moth significance of mutual grooming, but hey... he's not going to tell her, especially not when she's in the habit of coming right up to him and brushing his fur whenever she feels like it. She clearly enjoys it, petting or combing him, scrunching up the fur, sometimes nuzzling into it... and he loves it too. He very quietly purrs whenever she does it, the only time he eases up enough to make that sound.

Why would he tell her that it's highly intimate? Why tell her its exclusively for family and mates? Why make it awkward, why spoil the fun? The human he adores is being very cosy with him. He's happy.

... Besides. She'll be his, eventually, if all his plans work out. Might as well get accustomed to grooming each other.

Red: He would be very embarrassed, because damn, that's pretty forward of her. The moth equivalent of just coming up to someone you're flirting with and gently caressing their hair. He's already got feelings so the forwardness massively flusters him... depending on how close he is to her, he might even pull away, purely because he's embarrassed at how intense his feelings are and he knows that she doesn't understand the gravity of grooming to a moth.

... If it's a repeated stim, though, sometimes he just might not be able to help himself but but lean into it. If he's tired, or they're alone together, or he's just feeling particularly lovestruck that day... he can't help but let her run her fingers through his fluff. He might sleepily reciprocate, playing carefully with her hair.

Sometimes you just gotta take advantage of the moment. Sometimes, when the cute human you have a crush on puts her soft hands in your fluff, you just gotta let her.

Skull: It's almost as if his fluff is his 'deactivate' button. Like when you scratch a dog in just the right place, and it can't help but fall over. She touches his fur and he immediately drops.

Sometimes, it's good, because it's a guaranteed way to make him totally relax. He'll be cuddled up to her and when she starts playing with his fur he just lets out a big happy mix between a purr and a sigh, and completely eases. But sometimes it's bad, because when a massive clingy moth beast with four arms decides he's enjoying the attention and you're not going anywhere... well, you're really not going anywhere.

Skull's isolation from other moths means he doesn't really understand the importance of grooming each other. All he knows is that he really wants to touch her hair, and he really likes how it feels when she plays with his fur. Sometimes the feelings confuse him a little- if anyone else touched him, they'd lose the arm.

#llamagines #moth sanses au #sans lets her do it #red might not let her do it #and skull wont let her leave unless she keeps doing it

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182-ash · 8 months

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Poly Sam and colby x reader headcannons bc I love these guys and I think they'd be cute boyfriends @oli-ivia helped me with some of these.

Colby is a human furnace and Sam is always freezing so they share hoodies all the time especially you and Sam stealing colbys

Sam cant sleep without both of u there so he likes to sleep/cuddle in the middle of you and colby- this makes it difficult when they go filming without you and Sam struggles to sleep so colby ends up facetiming you

When you have a headache they are very sweet and colby puts you in his hoodie with big hood so you can hide away- they turn off all the lights and talk really softly- colby lays you on his chest and gives you head massages and back rubs

Sam plays with colbys hair which makes him very sleepy and he he leans into the touch

^ colby is a workaholic even when sick so Sam uses this technique to get colby to stop working and actually rest

^when Sam gets sick, it really hits him bad so he tries not to kiss you guys when you're sick but colby always looks so sad he can't resist

^ Sam's just so sleepy the whole time he's sick and you just spend the day in bed with him because he's too tired to argue that you'll get sick too

This one's a bit longer but my current favourite thing on earth are jellyfish (its the audhd okay) so that's what inspired this

They're filming a TFIL video with you as a guest and they've 'broken in to an aquarium overnight' so you could see jellyfish and other ocean stuff undisturbed- sam and colby wanted you to be safe so they've actually booked the aquarium overnight but not told the fans because that would make the video a bit boring

^when you get in you immediately grab Sam's hand and run to find the jellyfish (or your favourite animal there) and just sit in front of the tank and watch- Sam pulls you into his lap

^After a little time Corey or someone is like: "dude- we gotta do smth so the fans have an interesting vid to watch"- Colby: "just let her sit- we can do stuff without her- she's enjoying it" cut to you happy Stimming sat in Sam's lap by the tanks

^they take turns sitting with you because A. Sam needs to be in the vid a bit and B. Colby was getting jealous that Sam was getting to spend all that time with you (listen he just wants to hug his partner alright- he can't resist how adorable you look in Sam's lap so happy)

^when they decide Sam should be in the video more but he wants to stay with you they give him the other camera so he can film you and him (you give lots of facts about the animal you're watching- its jellyfish for me) so the video ends up being 'colby and the others running round like idiots doing stupid impressions of the fish cut with cute clips of you in Sam's lap stimming and smiling and telling facts'

I could say lots more about that scenario but I don't want to talk too much on one thing so I might write smth separate abt it if u want so now on to more general ideas again

Such sweethearts when you're upset- they'll give you space if you want or they'll sit with you and talk about it- if you're okay with touch they'll pull you in for a hug and rub your back to calm you- colbys an anxious man as we know so he knows good breathing exercises for you

You guys find a stray cat and take it in- you call it smth stupid like 'cat'- cat likes you the most which will always slightly annoy the boys

When colby gets drunk, specifically wine drunk, he loudly sings along to cheesy love songs to you and Sam

#sam and colby #sam golbach #colby brock #sam golbach x reader #colby brock x reader #solby #solby x reader #poly fic

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bokettochild · 3 months

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Random Legend Headcanons that haunt my brain at stupid hours <3

He has a big sweet tooth, but less so for sugary things and mostly more for fruits

greatest seemingly "irrational" fear is dogs, he has never liked them even since childhood, and the only dog he can stand is the old sheepdog his grandparent's kept to keep track of the goats

Sky is his favorite. Sky is real with him and doesn't dismiss him as an asshole = automatic favorite. They also share a lot in common

he and Sky like gossiping when no one is paying attention to them. Not about the other heroes necessarily, they just both find it fun

oral stims: he likes his hands free, but chewing/sucking on things helps him focus better and stay calm. He refuses to admit how many times he's found himself chewing on his medallions

he loves puzzles. You'd think he'd gotten enough of them in his adventures, but nope! Hes been doing this long enough that going WITHOUT puzzles to solve actually makes him feel bored. He likes the challenge of it, it keeps his brain ticking

history nerd. A lot of Hyrule's culture/history/tradition was lost because the people were just trying to survive after Ganon killed the hero, so Legend really likes trying to hunt down the pieces of the past to put together what it was like. It's a big puzzle for him, and he loves talking about it if he feels he'll actually be listened too

he knits. He doesn't know many patterns, but he knows some basic stitches and the repetition calms him down

good at most needlework, sucks at embroidery. He likes it, it's just too stressful for him. He's in awe of the fact that Sky's so good at it.

he actually loves the sea I know most writers have him scared of it, but he's got far more happy memories than bad ones, so while it's bittersweet, he still enjoys being near the water (as log as it's not storming)

hates lightning storms with a passion. Storms in general make his arthritis worse, but the lightning trauma sucks a lot more

actually enjoys light rain showers. it still effects his pain levels, but not super bad, and it's worth it to him

has the most un-attractive laugh ever. He tends to snort and cackle like a madman. He does have a "polite laugh" but it's far less genuine.

he CAN cook, he just doesn't care to. Food is an annoying requirement and necessity for him most of the time, and more of a chore than he's willing to admit

he has the biggest soft spot for kids, partially because of Gully, partially by nature

the most susceptible to Baby Therapy (the effect of feeling at peace, content, happy, or relief while holding a small child) Ulli figured this out early on and now abuses it.

he loves stargazing. Stars are a constant no matter where he goes and they're like old friends (got this from the manga)

he's an artist and a perfectionist, his preferred medium is paints, but he does carry a sketchbook

loves physical contact, but is hesitant about others boundaries, so he rarely initiates or maintains it

I have more, but yeah, this is getting pretty long :')

#lu legend #linked universe #linkeduniverse #ketto can't sleep #so have some blorbo thoughts

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astraltrickster · 10 months

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I want to introduce a disability concept that I've been calling paradoxical stigma.

What is paradoxical stigma? It's the stigma against:

1) The actually disabling traits of a disability that's in the spotlight for the parts of it that are convenient to accommodate, and/or

2) The diagnosis of such a disability itself,

Due to the assumption that the spotlight renders it "destigmatized" and no longer in need of support.

As of right now, at least around this corner of the internet, the most obvious examples of this are autism and ADHD. It's become disturbingly common for people to treat those like Diet Disabilities That Don't Actually Count. It's been really interesting to watch the popular attitude about these disorders shift from "autism is either a tragedy or an excuse depending on 'severity', and ADHD is just a myth used to drug kids into complicity instead of teaching them actual skills", to "actually these are real disorders that affect people in all aspects of their lives", to "I GUESS they're real disorders but honestly EVERYONE has them can't we worry about more SERIOUS ones?" and...not in a good way.

It comes up...partially as a legitimate backlash to people with these disorders who think that invisible disability and/or neurodivergence begins and ends at their experience, and...yeah, that's a problem all right, in fact if I had a dollar for every asshole who looked at my struggles with things like keeping my space clean or not fucking up my medication doses DUE TO ADHD and went "well I have the same diagnosis and I don't have THAT problem to THAT extent, obviously you're just lazy and careless", or saw me having an AUTISTIC meltdown and called it "bullying" or worse because I get loud and insisted that I NEED to CONTROL that CHOSEN BEHAVIOR if I want to not be a Bad Person, or heard about how AUTISTIC overstimulation defense measures play into my trouble with cleaning and insisted that well THEY'RE autistic too and don't have that specific problem so this is clearly weaponized helplessness because I just don't WANT to learn to do better, I'd...probably have a lot more assistive tech. I also get really, really frustrated and upset when people use RSD to mean "if you ever criticize me that's the height of ableism, no matter how much I'm actually fucking up and hurting you" - especially since it's so often invoked as a defense against being lightly criticized for ACTUALLY harmful behavior and as much as it sucks there IS no substitute to make that more emotional-dysregulation-friendly beyond basic kindness in criticism. That attitude exists. It's bad.

And yet, theoretically, I think we could all agree that the response to that should NEVER be to reinvent the old "ugh, those aren't REAL disabilities, those are just EXCUSES that LAZY PARENTS make for kids being kids, what they need is DISCIPLINE" stereotype of the 90s-2000s, just now aimed at those same kids as adults, in ostensibly supportive spaces - or arguably worse, to revert all our understanding of support needs to the externally judged high-functioning/low-functioning dichotomy.

What really sets this apart as paradoxical stigma, rather than just garden-variety lateral ableism, is that 1) we CAN theoretically all agree that reinventing those stereotypes is a terrible response, yet many people do it anyway, and 2) these stereotypes are invoked not only because of that intracommunity misbehavior, but both within and outside of disabled spaces, because of the illusion that you can bring up those disorders and have them taken seriously because fidget toys and stim videos and weighted blankets are popular now. An event having quiet rooms, or backlash to Autism Speaks being visible outside of autistic spaces, will be taken as "proof" that autism stigma is over forever and anyone who complains about it is just a whiner who doesn't know how good they have it...even when what they're complaining about is, say, being barred from migration. Paradoxical stigma is enacted by people who think that they, alone, are standing up against someone who's throwing others under the bus to continue to progress their own limited agenda...when in fact they're speaking a very popular shitty opinion, that MANY of the people making that claim would disagree with HEAVILY once separated from the "crab bucket reflex".

As a personal example, the result is that when I'm looking for assistance, I'm...hesitant to bring up those diagnoses, because I know I'm going to be written off as "obviously a high-functioning low-support needs scammer who just doesn't WANT to CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY and EARN things" - even by people who otherwise agree that people should be allowed to survive even if they truly are the living strawman lazy bum who has nothing wrong with them but just WANTS to lay around eating junk food and doing drugs all day, AND that disability deserves to be respected, isn't black-and-white, and affects everyone differently; somehow when these combine in the context of my diagnoses that have had a very sanitized version of themselves "destigmatized" on TikTok, they cancel out into blatant reactionary sentiment indistinguishable from what I'd hear from my shitty token Republican uncle.

So, that's paradoxical stigma. Feel free to use the term if you find it useful.

#disability #serious tag #and yes it is applicable to issues other than disability #if youre seeing parallels to this in how same-sex marriage passing nationwide in the us #was the beginning of a big downswing in support for queer rights because what ELSE could these entitled freaks POSSIBLY want #you are correct! they are VERY closely related! not quite identical because it wasnt almost equally intense within the community as outside #but i wouldnt call you wrong if you wanted to use the same term!#speaking of bringing back the high-functioning/low-functioning dichotomy - it is NOT lost on me #just how many people dont take me seriously as a Real Autist because im usually ''well-spoken''#therefore i CLEARLY cant have support needs that are hard to aestheticize right???#as if that kind of misconception isnt EXACTLY WHY we moved away from functioning labels in favor of discussing support needs

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lowkeyrobin · 1 month

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Mcyts x autistic reader

•Like autistic reader, who is very open and proud about being autistic. And like openly stems, especially when happy. Hand flaping, finger wiggling, spinning, vocal stims, full body shaking ext

• reader is really bad with volume control and often either mumbles or yells. Maybe when talking about something they're interested in, they just scream mid sentence and then carry on.

• read unknowingly mimicking there s/o while masking like copying their accents, laughs, boy language or just repeat whatever they just said.

• reader info dumps and asks allot of questions (even if that seem obvious)

• reader will randomly just stop masking and give like resting bitch face and speak with more monotone voice.

•and reader quotes things a lot like shows, movies, tiktoks, and people.

oooo okay okay!! I did my best here I swear 🙏 I only did Tommy, Freddie, Quackity & Nihachu bc I genuinley had no new ideas for the others so I apologize 😭🙏 ranboo and tubbo would've been mixtures of everyone and I'm trying to make them all different and it just didn't work ; also this took way too long and maybe ill do a pt2 of this w them + foolish & charlie and whoever else ; anyways hopefully this is good, I did a little bit of research just in case so yeah djsjskkaka

MCYT ; autistic reader

includes ; tommyinnit, badlinu, quackity, & nihachu

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; i'm not autistic so i referred to req above + some research, i apologize if anything is incorrect

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he's never had a problem with you being autistic and neither have you, and you're totally fine with him making little jokes or comments because you can most of the time see therough them

he finds your stimming, especially when you're happy and excited, so fucking adorable. he literally crumbles everytime.

he also loves when you have him stim with you

you two have this little finger wiggling thing you do together, reference the "dunga dunga dunga" moment in the amsterdam vlog because I can't describe it 💀

if you're spinning to stim, he'll often joke about you getting dizzy or needing to throw up, and halfway join you because you're spinning to create a damn tornado, he can't go that fast LMAO

if somewhere is too loud and you need out, you're going dw, he couldn't care less if you just automatically yell, go nonverbal, or only begin mumbling to him. he's got you

absolutely loves when you're ranting about special interests or hyperfixations

he'll genuinley listen all day long

"and it's so interesting *cue yell* because-"

he'll lightly cringe at the change in volume but don't worry, he's fine. if you ever think differently he'll 100% reassure you that he's alright and he doesn't mind it whatsoever

you'll unknowingly pick up his accent and he'll notice immediately but not point it out, because he's learned that you'll go back to normal after he points it out. he finds it so cute tho

if you're masking in public and get comfy enough, you'll have this miserable looking bitch face and he's just like "Oh they're just like that, don't worry"

you also pick up saying bitch a lot, which he finds hilarious

doesn't understand tone tags a hundred percent but he uses the ones he knows and learns a lot of the other ones as your relationship grows

youre probably quoting total drama and mean girls 24/7 let's be honest

"you're just a homeschooled jungle freak!"

"christ, okay, y/n"

"you know I was quoting mean girls"

whatever phrase he's addicted to saying, you are too

"DARLINGGGGG GUESS WHOS BACK FROM THE PSYCH WARD"

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

FREDDIE BADLINU

always smiles seeing you stim when you're happy/excited

vocal stims with him >>>

9 times out of 10 he'll repeat them after you say them to kind of make it a game, to see who can say ___ the most

you copy his accent and his frequently used phrases a lot

it makes him get all mushy inside because you're literally thinking about him 24/7

info dumping to him >>>> he's always listening bro

he doesn't mind you asking a lot of questions, even if the answer seems obvious. he understands that you don't wanna screw something up or understand something wrong

lots of quoting Garfield. I don't make the rules

"WE'RE BACHELORS, BABY" ; you both quote this often, let's be honest

"whoever moved my shit around should be dragged out onto the street and shot"

"i really hope you're quoting Garfield this time.."

your resting bitch face genuinely makes him giggle, ESPECIALLY the monotone voice

you're also constantly quoting bits from Tommy's show 💀 or replicating the little dance they learned to introduce Freddie

he apologizes a million times, he just can't take you seriously sometimes (if it's a more lighthearted situation)

he seems like the type to know most the tone tags and knows when to use them, but the ones like /nf trip him up

like wdym nf??? like the rapper?? like the guy from those gacha music videos? what's he doing here?

when you randomly yell when you're talking about a special interest/hyperfixation, he raises his eyebrows with an amused smile and nod

"and *cue yell* it's so fucked up but so good!"

"yeah?"

NIKI NIHACHU

she's picked up some stimming from you

you guys finger wiggle little whiskers, like ants or some sort of bug

spinning when you're exited >>>

she cheers you on to try and get you to go faster LMAO

bad with volume control? that's totally fine. she completely understands

giggles whenever you get loud mid-sentence and playfully throws her hands up like you scared her

"Peter... the horse is here"

"is it now?" she giggles

always quoting tik toks and vines istg

ALEX QUACKITY

"road work ahead? yeah, I sure hope it does"

"THIS IS THE BEST DAMN CHICKEN I HAVE EVER HAD"

"oooo I love that scarlet color" she smiles

"I love that scarlet color" you whisper

she loves when you info dump about your special interests/hyperfixations, especially if it's something she's not really into but will gladly hear you talk about because it's interesting

she's also very on it with tone tags just in case, whether you tell her you need them or not

"I'll kill you wtf"

"/J /J SORRY"

she knows every single tone tag, if there was a tone tag test, she'd ace it

the monotone voice and bitch face always scare her for a moment, she's gotta make sure if you're okay and just not masking or if you're actually upset about something

she always gets you gifts surrounding your special interests/current fixations

bro if you're a fanfic writer... she's ur number one reader. absolutely lovessss your writing

you'll pick up her soft tone of voice and the accent and she will do anything but point it out, she loves knowing that she's the one paying attention to it, and seeing you just catch onto something and for you to not notice

need compression for comfort? he's there, any squeezing or form of compression you need is there

need to squeeze his hand? go ahead. need a tight ass hug? he's there

always does a proud smile when he sees you stim, especially in public

generally proud that you aren't masking in public and you're comfortable being yourself

he'll even stim with you sometimes to make you not feel weird about stimming in public and shit 💔

you catch onto his mannerisms a lot, like adjusting your hair, any hats/beanies, talking with your hands, etc

like you'll catch yourself going to adjust your sunglasses and you don't have any on. you realize "wait I've been watching him do it all night, have I been doing that??"

so much info dumping and he's here for it

"wait, what then?"

"she *cue louder talk/almost yell* fucking dies! it was either die or suffer!"

"holy shit, for real?"

you guys are both quoting dumb shit let's be honest

modern family quotes.... you can't go an hour without them

always mumbling "gotta fix that step" it's a vocal stim atp

there's not even a step to fix.

"THERE IS NO DONE IN DUNPHY!!"

"YEAH BEAT HIS ASS Y/N YOURE THE BEST PVPER EVER"

y/u/n was slain by Tubbo

"oh"

"I'm the cool dad, that's my thang, I'm hip"

"y/n I can't do this today" He cackles

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #mcyt x gn reader #tommyinnit x reader #badlinu x reader #freddie badlinu x reader #quackity x reader #alex quackity x reader #quackityhq x reader #niki nihachu x reader #nihachu x reader

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slasher-dasher · 7 months

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Brahms Heelshire Headcanons

︶꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦︶

Sfw:

Let him help with some of the chores! The faster you get done, the faster he can get attention

Very clingy ofc, if he isn't hugging you as close as physically possible, he's holding your hand or arm all day

Stares at you all the time, it's a left over habit from watching you in the walls, so is wearing his cardigan 24/7 since it's become a comfort item for him (and he is cold)

You will never take a nap alone again because he insists on taking one with you

He age regresses. The easiest way to tell is when his voice changes, but if he's just starting to slip he'll start calling you mommy/daddy ("mummy" bc of his accent). Hold him and give him some affection when he does and he'll be happy

Brahms loves 101 Dalmatians, like... an excessive amount. It's all he wanted to watch for a solid month before he got bored of it (for now)

He likes to lay in your lap, play with his hair while you're reading a book and he'll fall asleep so fast

Plays the violin for you often, especially if he knows you're going to be busier than usual around the house

He's a dog-lover through and through, especially if they're soft and cuddly

Big oral fixation. Something fits in his mouth? It's going in his mouth. His favorite is chewing on/biting fingers, specifically yours. You've tried giving him stim toys specifically for this but he claims they aren't the same (and he's right >:/ )

Nsfw:

He's a switch, but in the way where he will really only dom if you ask him to, and even then he's usually a soft-dom

He's a brat, but that's to be expected, it's very easy to get him out of this most of the time though

Praise is your best friend, he will melt before you finish talking if he hears the words "good" and "pretty"

He likes using titles! Mainly sir/ma'am in bed though (sometimes mommy/daddy if he's overstimulated)

Very vocal. This man is so touch-starved that he'll whimper even if you're just ghosting your hands over him

No degrading, he will cry, even if you reassure him it's only for the scene

You can do pretty much anything to him, he's very open to trying new things as long as it's with you

Put his mouth to use. There's very little that will make him happier, he can do this for hours on end because it makes his brain shut off essentially

He likes knowing you're his, but he loves knowing he's yours too. Add "my" or "mine" to any of the praises and he'll just nod along, even if he has no idea what you said

#me projecting onto brahms with that chewing/biting stim:#brahms heelsire x reader #brahms heelshire #brahms the boy #the boy 2016 #the boy (2016)#slasher #slasher community #slasher fucker #slasher writer #slashers #slasher headcanons

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drdemonprince · 6 days

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I'd really like to enjoy sex parties (I know many autistic people do), but the few that I've attended have been really loud (mostly from music) and overstimulating even with hearing protection. As a horny person who has trouble with loud noise, I feel like I'm SOL. I'd like to put on a sensory-friendly sex party (sry, no better word), but have no idea where to start. How could I go about this?

This is a great idea! I'd really hit the local Fetlife groups and local Munches for the next couple of months, chatting people up and gauging interest. Since you've been invited to sex parties before, that suggests you're already fairly well plugged into the community or know how to become plugged in in the area where you currently are, so do a bit of that for a while, and if it's a big enough scene, ask if people might be interested in a neurodivergent-friendly munch or meetup first. Maybe outside in a quiet natural area or at a really low-key cafe that's affordable and not crowded and where using stim toys or knitting/playing board games/etc is all normal to see.

Getting people to turn out to a sex party and be a good time definitely requires a little bit of social lubricating for a while first, if only so that you know who you want to invite and who sucks and might make people uncomfortable.

Check out local queer spaces too -- here there's a sober cafe that holds lots of evening events for LGBTQ people who don't drink, and that tends to attract a lot of neurodivergent folks and sensory sensitive people as well. Some of them might be way to vanilla for a sex party but there's always a few genuine phreaks out there. Events and groups at a local LGBTQ center or the like can also work, or just other recurring community spaces that attract a lot of queer people. Local Meetup.com groups for Adult Autistics would be a good place to look around, too.

Once you've gotten the chance to suss out who might be cool within a variety of little pockets of your local communities, then you're ready to organize it and make the ask! I think a good sex party can't be too open-invite, especially when you want to control the experience from an accessibility perspective. But by the time you are inviting someone in this case, you've met them probably multiple times, know one another on social media (or at least Fet), and know that they're neurodivergent or into the idea of a sensory-friendly sex party, and so you'll have a good idea that they're a good fit.

I'm sure you've already envisioned how you want this party to go -- low lights, quiet down rooms, soft music, etc. I'd also consider having some kind of wristband system that allows people to communicate how they want to be engaged with -- green meaning go ahead and come up to me and inititiate/touch me, yellow meaning ask first for anything, red meaning leave me alone i'm just here to watch for now, or whatever. Probably make people put stickers on their cameras. Etc.

Good luck out there and let me know how it goes! I promise this isn't that huge of an undertaking. I know I probably made it sound like a lot, but it's really just popping up at a variety of events for a little bit and trying to find the Autistic weirdos and friend them.

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a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual · 9 months

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Nimona headcanons that I wrote during dinner

Wherever Nimona gets overwhelmed by their emotions they bite things

And you can see that all over the house there are bite marks on cups chopsticks on the couch the boy's arms

You know the normal things

They didn’t mean to draw blood and the boys know that

They do however buy Nimona teething toys because they’re worried she’s gonna break something or hurt herself

There’s a random Polaroid photo of the trio’s arms with matching bite marks

It’s kind of cute in a weird way like matching tattoos except a not nearly as expensive

The trio has a lot of the same vocal stims and they have no clue where half of them came from

One day someone just walks into the house and mumbles “root beer” and the next thing you know the three of them are repeating it until they’re basically screaming it

The funny thing is they know a decent amount of T*kTok audios (or their universe’s equivalent) but they’re never on social media

Most of Ambrosius' life has been dictated by how the media perceives him he’s not gonna stay on social media

Social media is just too damn toxic and chaotic for Bal to handle

He tried to be on multiple social media platforms

It stuck for less than a month and he deleted all of them soon after cause he couldn’t stand it

Nimona just hates social media

In his own words “It’s evil and chaotic but not the good kind”

Everyone in the trio has a weird sixth sense when the other two are even slightly uncomfortable

Ambrosius has gotten multiple calls from Bal in the middle of meetings asking if he’s okay and if he wants to leave

Ambrosius has shown up in the middle of a lot of Nimona’s fights even though he had no idea where he was and that he was even in a fight to begin with

Whenever someone tries to mess with Bal Nimona is just there

Like a weird little fucked up version of state farm

Sometimes when the trio is arguing and Nimona is tired of them talking in circles she will shift some of her features away

Most of the time she’ll get rid of her ears and make a big deal about not being able to hear them

And when she does that they’ll start signing to her and she’ll get rid of her eyes

Sometimes when they're really heated they'll try and tap on her leg in morse code

Which is when she decides to full leave the room and let them calm down

They don't follow her tho cause that's the sign that they've fully pissed her off and they know to walk away and take a breath maybe eat a snack maybe take a nap

Once enough time has passed and they’ve thought shit through they’ll have a little family meeting and talk it out

#nimona 2023 #nimona movie #nimona headcanon #nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #goldenheart #I love these stubborn dorks #they're all hardheaded as fuck #they try really hard to respect people’s boundaries #but when they’re passionate about something they tend to dig their heels in #it’s a problem #they’re working on it

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hiwelcometothemonstersancturary · 15 days

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What are the characters favorite/least favorite food.

I'm sure they aren't picky after being starved for 10 years, but I'm sure that Angel said it was okay to dislike something

Oof, it's about time I answered this!

Poppy loves desserts, but brownies and cakes are her favorites. She detests dragon fruit – so pretty, and it tastes like that? Horrendous!

Huggy has a hard time eating salads in general thanks to his teeth and poor control over his movements. Loves gummy bears, though! They're SUPER squishy and nice to munch on.

Kissy doesn't like eating meat or anything crunchy, as it reminds her too much of what she had to eat at Playtime Co. She however loves soups since the day Angel first made one, which was two nights after the rescue!

Mommy Long Legs loves spicy food. She's tearing up and her mouth feels like burning but she WILL keep on eating whatever spicy food there is until it's all over. Also really likes pumpkins! But please don't let her even near beets. She thinks it tastes like dirt. Also doesn't like overly sweet things.

DogDay, unlike MLL, has a huge sweet tooth and can and WILL eat anything sweet he gets his hands on. He likes chocolate the most! Hates having to eat anything spicy, as well as fried foods because his hands always feel icky afterwards.

CatNap takes a long time before he finds any preferences, because to him food is food, but he does love sushi and fish in general. He avoids eating anything that isn't dry and he can hold in his hands at first because he can't move his hands very well, but after some months of training he stops avoiding. Has no food he refuses to eat or dislikes.

Picky Piggy goes vegan. She can't even smell meat for the first few months without risking a panic attack! Loves anything that has potatoes in it though, it's always a 10/10 to her.

Bubba loves curry. He doesn't know why, but it sure makes him happy! Hates beans in general, though, because he always eats them on groups of 4 and he has to make some mental math in order to see if he should add more or not.

Kickin likes pastel. Angel managed to make some and told him it's a brazilian food. Kickin fell in love and can't get enough of it. Also really likes sushi! Hates spicy food and plates that are just green. Spicy because of sensory overload, green because he likes more variety.

Craftycorn LOVES pie, it's the best food ever to her. Hates anything that takes too much work for her to chew or cut because it reminds her a bit of how things were back at the factory.

Bobby Bearhug loves bacon and eggs. And just eggs in general. Also salad. salad with eggs added is something she adores, girl can't get enough. Just please don't ask her to eat fish, she hates those!

Hoppy loves corn and burguers in general. She's stimming everytime she has the opportunity to do so. Hates soup though.

Miss Delight avoids meat in general, but doesn't refuse to eat it. She loves jelly though! She thinks it looks and tastes SO good, she's stimming every time she can eat one, much like how Hoppy is with her food.

Boxy Boo still likes meat, but is horrified at the things Picky makes that LOOK like meat but AREN'T. He feels like a fool, staring at her in disbelief while Hoppy is laughing her ass off.

Bunzo Bunny isn't allowed to be alone near corn or candy anymore because he can and will eat even if not hungry. Ironically doesn't like carrots at all.

PJ Pug-a-Pillar loves cooked veggies and is often following Picky around when she's cooking. He doesn't like chocolate, though.

Angel loves cooked veggies and pasta. They're used to making them because it was easy to do and super tasty, but after becoming a parent it's just comfort instead of "I have no energy to do more" food. Also hates dragon fruit, same reasons as Poppy.

Prototype, like Bubba, LOVES curry. Doesn't have a least favorite food though!

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a-secret-inner-life · 4 months

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I came across a lot of stuff that I could relate to about autism while researching for a paper, which led me to do more research on autism in general. I saw some other people doing this type of post on here, so: autistic people, can you please read my super long and detailed list of possible symptoms I experience and tell me if it seems like I'm one of you? I'm trying to be objective and reasonable and figure out what's going on with myself here.

Sensory Stuff

I like to stim–bouncing my legs, tapping my feet when I sit, occasionally swinging my legs or rocking. I also clench my fists or sit on my hands a lot and tap my fingers on things, or just fiddle with whatever is in front of me. Recently, I count while touching my thumb to each of my fingertips to calm down because someone in a book I read did that and it actually does help me. I also sing the alphabet song repeatedly when I'm working on my website.

Sometimes when I'm very tired or overwhelmed my face feels itchy and I feel like every strand of hair touching me prickles and itches and leaves a red spot (but it doesn't actually).

I have a strong hatred for perfume because it smells too strong and fakey, and citrus scents also drive me nuts, but I really like scented candles.

I'm a super picky eater, although I'm not as bad as when I was a kid. I don't mind the taste of tomatoes, peppers, or onions in things, but I'm still a little grossed out when I know I'm eating them, and the texture of onions freaks me right out, as an example.

I get startled easily. Loud noises don't actually scare me, they just jolt me out of whatever thought space I was in before I heard them.

I also get overwhelmed whenever someone tries to talk to me in a loud car (whether it's loud with other people or just the engine), and I find it overwhelming and incredibly difficult to concentrate when more than one person is talking at once. Whenever I'm in a crowd, it just sounds like this vague roar that gets louder the more I think about it, which can sometimes be overwhelming. Still, I'm good at tuning some things out in select circumstances, like the TV when it's on.

Finally, if I pay attention at pretty much any time when there isn't a ton of other noise, I can hear ringing in my ears. This isn't usually upsetting, and I know it's fairly common for anyone to get tinnitus from time to time, but I'm not sure if most people experience it this much.

Social Stuff

I can not handle eye contact.

I'm also really, really, comically bad at social interactions. I almost never speak to someone I don't know well before they speak to me, and my go-to conversation method is to laugh/giggle and nod, I literally can not make actual conversation to save my life. Sometimes I think of things to say but it doesn't occur to me to say them, or I try to but I'm scared and can't find an opening, or I do say the thing and people don't react the way I want them to (usually it's either confusion or disinterest).

Old ladies are my favorite people because they're the least scary somehow. I also love kids, but I'm still awkward so I rarely interact and probably still freak them out.

I'm horrible at keeping contact and I wait until I know people are offline to reply to their messages because conversation is stressful and I need time to think when I text. Group chats are a nightmare, so I pretty much ghost everyone when I'm in one.

I'm super attached to my family, though. I make an effort to create a deep bond with each of my siblings, and I'm the clingiest person in the world when it comes to my older sister.

I value people very deeply, which might be why I find them so intimidating. I love them and I want them to be happy, and I put too much pressure on the situation.

I used to hate being alone, and I still feel guilty or sad whenever I spend too much time by myself, although I actually love to be by myself, a lot of my hobbies and favorite places are solitary, and I usually prefer figuring things out on my own rather than having somebody right there trying to figure it out with me.

I'm incredibly empathetic. It's not like I can automatically sense people's emotions, but I do make an effort to pay attention and understand what they're feeling and why they feel that way. My siblings come and rant to me a lot, and I can be a good diplomat and see both points of view when they argue. I also care, and I always want to make people feel better, though it obviously doesn't always work. Sometimes I'm too empathetic, or maybe too creative, and I stress out about what someone might be feeling when I don't know if it's an actual issue or not.

Patterns and Stuff

I've always been good at remembering my parents’ phone numbers and our zip code, as well as my friends’ birthdays. I work at a grocery store where I find myself reciting the regular customers’ lottery numbers in my head as they're saying them to me.

My dad used to have a verbal checklist of what to bring to work each morning, and I still recite it every time I hear the words “wallet” and “keys” next to each other. Same goes for my old morning checklist that I don't even follow anymore.

I don't adhere to a strict routine in terms of the general structure of my day, but I definitely have a system or pattern for a lot of my specific activities.

Emotional Stuff

I've been obsessed with drawing and painting for as long as I can remember. I write all the time. I think I dedicated myself and a huge chunk of my life to my hobbies. If I like something, I like to think that I make it my own, and that thing permeates who I am.

When I first started listening to BTS, I scoured literally the entire Internet to find every possible hidden track any of the members ever touched, and there were A LOT. Lately I've been obsessed with Keeper of the Lost Cities, and I can't stop talking about the books. I'm also hyper fixated on Tomorrow X Together.

When I start something, I need to finish it, and I'll often think I'm so close to being done only to continue on it for several more hours, trying to hurry up and finish because I need to get it done now. I'm also pretty bad at switching tasks. I try to multitask, but it doesn't really work out.

I can easily forget about my own physical needs; particularly I don't usually realize when I'm hungry. Overall my needs are very flexible to the people around me; if you want to eat together, suddenly I'm hungry, if you don't feel like stopping, neither do I.

I'm a perfectionist, but I hate asking for help. This is especially true when it comes to my grades and my hobbies. I'm more comfortable when I can control the variables and nobody has to know if I fail.

I'm pretty sure I have executive dysfunction because I put so much pressure on doing things perfectly that I lose the motivation to do them at all, and as much as I need to get something done, I can't make myself do it.

Since I was little I've always been awkward and out of place. I feel like I take up too much space. Honestly, I feel like my existence is lame and embarrassing. I hate myself.

I absolutely suck at decision making, sometimes because I don't want to choose something that other people won't like and partially because I'm just really indecisive. Often I feel stuck or paralyzed because I can't choose one way or another.

Along those same lines, the responsibility of being told to do something for someone else is terrible, and I hate doing these things without incredibly specific instructions because I'm scared of messing up.

I also need to know exact details of whatever activity I'm doing before I do it, and I hate when something big isn't planned out in detail.

I used to have a lot of meltdowns as a child. I’d yell and cry and throw things when I was upset. This still happens sometimes, but not as frequently or as badly.

I feel guilty about everything, including mistakes from years ago that shouldn't matter anymore. This makes me feel sort of unworthy (?), like anything good I do is the bare minimum and if I cause a problem (through anxiety or executive dysfunction) that messes up a project, I feel like I have to do everything else perfectly to make up for it, although I usually end up feeling like I'm coddling myself instead.

I constantly compare myself to others. If someone else has a problem that's worse than what I deal with, I feel like I'm not allowed to have my own negative feelings.

I feel like none of my feelings are valid. I feel and think all sorts of dramatic things that seem like the end of the world, but compared to others, my problems are small, and I feel stupid for having them. I almost wish I had a bigger issue or more dangerous mental problems that would make my responses more reasonable, but my logical side knows that this thinking is wrong.

I've been dealing with off and on burnout since I was around twelve years old (so about five years). I've been told over and over that my mindset is wrong and I need to do a million things better mentally to be less of a perfectionist, but I don't have the energy to put in any effort whatsoever to fix myself. I still get random bursts of motivation that last for short periods of time, though.

Sometimes when I go to bed after a stressful day, I wake up in the morning and I have this uncontrollable dread about starting my day. The thought of getting up sounds impossible, and it's almost like there's something sitting in my chest keeping me down.

#am i autistic?#possible autism #possibly neurodivergent #possibly autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism in girls #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurospicy #autistic things

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genderkoolaid · 10 months

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Hey, I had read a post from you a while back where you mentioned that people can be queer solely because they're autistic, even if they're still cishet, and I was wondering if you could explain that a bit more? I've been frustrated for a long while with how I'm expected to look and act as a cis man, and that's lead me to blogs like yours.

So, its been pretty well established now that autistic people* are more likely to identify with queerness, in gender and sexuality and anattraction (aspec).

One factor in this is that autistics tend to not pick up (or want to follow) arbitrary, often unspoken social rules. So many autistics don't understand or want to follow rules about what defines men and women and how those groups Should behave and why only these groups can exist.

But there's also deeper issues in how gender roles themselves reject autistics. For example, autistic people tend to use and move our bodies differently. For me, I tend to be somewhat clumsy and generally "ungraceful," which goes against the expectation for women to be good at using the body in structured and pleasing ways. We may not speak in ways men and women are socialized too. Stimming can be a very visible sign of neurodivergency, which is often dehumanized and therefore de-gendered; our physical mannerisms aren't not stereotypically masculine or feminine, but simply inhuman. And sensory issues may influence the way people present themselves, like an autistic woman shaving her hair or an autistic man shaving his beard, or wearing certain clothes that aren't "properly" gendered. I've also seen discussions of kink that talk about how autistics tend to have different ideas of pleasure and pain, which shapes how we engage in sex.

And gender tends to be a highly communal identity- while autistics are often alienated from community. We don't pick up, or fit into, "man" or "woman" culture of allistics, which can often be very exclusionary for anyone who doesn't conform to that mold. (For me, I coped with this in middle school by having a friend group entirely composed of undiagnosed & likely queer NDs, so we didn't have to worry about being weird little freaks around each other. Highly recommend this). This alienation can also effect how we form romantic/sexual relationships, and how we engage with the expectations around what it means to be a "boyfriend" or a "girlfriend."

There's this quote from bell hooks on queerness that I really love: “'Queer' not as being about who you're having sex with (that can be a dimension of it); but 'queer' as being about the self that is at odds with everything around it and that has to invent and create and find a place to speak and to thrive and to live.” Autistic people are frequently at odds with everything around us, and have to create or find new places to speak, thrive, and live. I tend to center queerness on gender and desire (or lack thereof), and being autistic can have an effect on any or all of those categories.

Basically, if you feel like queer is good at expressing your relationship with your gender/sexuality, and/or that queer community/queer theory feels like a safe place to explore and engage with those things then I welcome you here for as long as you want to stay.

*this applies to all ND groups, but we're just focusing on autism in this post

#m.#ask box #autigender

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