is this something

last min bf ch. 1

series ch 1 > ch 2 > ch 3 | last min bf series masterlist

summary the world’s bigger now. humanity has gone beyond earth and inhabited many other planets. earth has basically become this uninhabitable, over-studied wasteland, yet some people still have a dangerous curiosity for their home planet, including you and min yoongi.

paring reader x myg

genre humor, barely angst, reader insert, sci-fi!au

warnings drinking, partying, and almost some drug use

word count 4.2k

You’re not supposed to care so much about anything, about any of this, yet you still find yourself in a corner away from your dancing friends wallowing in a shallow tide of thought. There are just a lot of things going through your mind right now, like how you forgot to grab a change of clothes for tonight, about how you just ate too much and are probably going to have to take a dump in the bathroom, about how the rest of your life is quickly approaching, about how the end of a chapter in your life is coming to a close. You all have just graduated high school. High school. You can’t believe they still call it that after Earth’s first major power shift, which is when the United States was joined by a few other countries that joined the rank of  “superpower—

Thoughts concerning your Earth History class shuffle around in your brain for a while. Eventually Min Yoongi slips into your mind. Well, actually he slips into the high school graduation party (this is the version without any parentals, all the official grad parties occurred days ago), a few hours late (approximately two hours after the 7 pm start of the party), but everyone knows parties at spoiled-rich-boy-party-host-prodigy-with-never-present-parents (literally the only reason people are friends with him) Jackson Wang’s house never really end until 24 hours after the start, so a few hours doesn’t make a huge difference.

Sitting at the end of the main hallway above the ground floor of the Wang’s many floored home offers many advantages. There’s a large window where you can see everything going on in the front yard, anyone who tries to enter the home cannot go in without your eyes scanning them. The main advantage is that you get to witness the not-surprisingly late entry of Min Yoongi, and for another, it allows you to keep an eye on your friends while avoiding any damaging activities. Your friends aren’t really doing anything damaging actually, no one has touched the alcohol or drugs subtly scattered about the house yet. They’re just talking about things you don’t want to think about right now—some other planet politics and music—and you have too much weighing on your mind to contribute or ask probing questions to entertain them.

Min Yoongi pops back outside again and makes a sprint past the portable space ships and other modes of transportation littering the Wang yard and the street across from the lawn. There actually aren’t that many houses in this neighborhood, so nothing blocks your view as you watch Min Yoongi sprint another block down to a nearby park and a wired fence where a space ship is parked. He pulls a handle and brings out his keys pulling just to see that it has already been locked. When he sprints back to the Wang’s front yard he looks upset, like he went all the way out there to make sure the door was locked when it already was. You didn’t see the purpose of locking the ship because the neighborhood is the among the nicest in this planet, maybe even this universe. Definitely in this country, but no one measures things by country anymore because space is just too big now to allow separate masses of land or archaic legal borders to make much of a difference. Even cultures do not create much tension, at least different cultures within one planet. Interplanetary relationships can cause the worst kind of trouble.

He disappears inside the home, and for a while you watch the stairs secretly hoping he would join you at this little look out spot. But why would he though? You two never talk. The only times he “would join you” were at podiums always receiving awards together. You are—or now were because you two just graduated—among the top 5% of students at your school. High achievers, top performers. You’re both in that group of kids who always win at everything. It feels good to be at the top, but still lonely. Your friends are a diverse bunch, mostly in grades. Kim Namjoon, the other 5%-er in your friend group is probably your most distant friend, always studying instead of hanging out, and you’re mostly just friends because your other friends are friends with both of you.

Mutual friends bring people together, and that’s what Yoongi is doing here. You feel an urge to go downstairs and find him, like this is your chance to finally get to know this person you’ve always wanted to get to know.

“Hey! Y/n, wanna play a game?” Kim Yerim yells at you from inside the bedroom where your friends have been spending their time at the party. “Stop being emo, and join the group! That or I’ll make you cry your eyes out then send you home after parading you around the living room!”

You sigh, still lost in thought about possibilities and anxieties for the future, not quite ready to let go of high school even though it’s already let go of you. Yeri gets out of the bedroom, and drags you in. A deck of Cards Against Humanity sits in the middle of a circle formed by your closest friends, and a few acquaintances. A few rounds pass, the game goes quickly due to some people’s lucky hands (you’re probably only saying that just because you suck at this game). Suddenly Yeri calls for a bathroom break, and she’s taking too long, so you leave to go find her. The second floor is quiet except for all the commotion coming from your room, and the bathroom is empty, so you go down the stairs to find your petite friend. When you find her, she’s chatting up a familiar figure: Min Yoongi.

“Oh, hey, Y/n! I was getting a drink, then ran into Yoongi, my friend.” She pats him on the chest, leaning oddly close to someone you’d describe as her acquaintance—they’re not that close, really they should not be talking to each other considering the fact that Yoongi is in Jeon Jungkook’s inner circle. It seems like Yeri’s already had a few drinks during her extended bathroom break. Yeri’s tipsy, and you know it. In her right mind, she would never even approach anyone with at least five degrees of separation from Jungkook. In some ways Jungkook and Yeri’s messy relationship could be blamed for why you and Yoongi are so distant.  

You’ve always admired Yoongi for his brains. There were a few classes you shared, but your classes were always too big for you two even participate in group discussions with each other. Every so often, you two met at the podium receiving awards for academic feats. This is how you first took notice of him. There wasn’t a specific award giving function in which you remember becoming truly aware of who Min Yoongi is. You just became conscious of his presence. Sometimes you would even have the honor of standing next to him, parts of you brushing against his arms.

Man, Min Yoongi is such a fine guy.

You always wished you had gotten to know him better during high school. Your mind was just too occupied on other guys (a failed homecoming date, and a decent prom friend date) and school to get around to him. There was also the great divider between both of your friend groups. And that has to do with a former couple consisting of Jeon Jungkook and (as she likes to be called) Vampire Princess Yeri, Future Queen of Huth (a made up planet, she pretends to be from). The two were an inseparable pair during junior year. Though everything began and ended very quickly by the end of eleventh grade. A messy break-up having to do with abortion, broken CDs, and hair ties is what it took to break the two apart. Ever since even their friend groups have felt the angry tension that still lies between Jungkook and Yeri.

And that tension is what’s making this round of truth or dare so competitive. Somehow (truth be told, it’s the alcohol and nostalgia) Yeri and Jungkook have been pulled together in the Wang family’s second floor guestroom. In an effort to keep things civil both of their friend groups decided to join in on this reunion, and Min Yoongi is the genius who suggested the game of truth or dare. This game, which could risk bringing out old memories, could also quickly divert attention from one dramatic event to another. And with the ten or so people already playing lowers the odds of Yeri and Jungkook coming in direct contact with each other. Also, you could be imagining this, but Yoongi appears to be sitting the closest to the bottle you have all decided will determine the next victim in the game. Maybe it’s so he can quickly move the bottle in case it could cause Jungkook and Yeri to interact. You’re theorizing now, and decide to set those thoughts aside in order to better enjoy the game. All in all, you admire Yoongi’s quick thinking and continue to admire him, especially after you dare him to do twenty push ups, and he does thirty with the petite Yeri sitting on his back.

“Wow, man of the hour Min Yoongi seems to have been chosen by the bottle once again!” Jeon Jungkook shouts. Everyone’s relieved because Jungkook is seated right next to Yoongi, and the bottle was about to land on the younger man, but thank, God, it didn’t.

“Truth or dare?” Yeri asks. She’s smiling. It’s her turn to dish out the truth or dare, and she was almost faced with the pressure of talking to her ex. They haven’t talked in so long, and everything was such a mess. She should be shaken, but you quickly notice that your theory was right. The reason she’s smiling is because of the genius Min Yoongi, who was able to pull a sleight of the hand trick and force the bottle to move just a little towards him.

“Truth, sure.” He smiles back at her.

“Earth. What are your honest opinions about it?” You gulp, Yoongi gulps. Everyone is a bit shaken that she would ask such a question. Earth, everyone here’s home planet (“home” used lightly, no one was actually born there), has been hot in the news. The topic is essentially like what abortion was in 2018. Right now, Earth is essentially humanity’s dying grandmother. Ever since wildfires, and other climate change events have taken over the planet, scientists decided one of the major priorities is relocating humanity. This was also controversial. There are essentially two sides to this argument. One thought that the priority should be preserving Earth and protecting it. The other believed in getting out of Earth as soon as possible. Obviously the side that had more money on its side won, and that the was latter side. Businesses found a money making opportunity in spreading humanity throughout the universe. New land to buy, new industries to come, etc. So humanity survived through spreading itself throughout the universe and adapting to new places. In the present, no one lives on Earth. People who were there either were killed by the climate or moved out. The first people to move off Earth were the richest, those who could afford to escape Earth’s capitalism to the new capitalistic worlds beyond Earth. The final generations were among the lucky middle class, including your family, and many others who live on the planet that you reside. Fourth generation non-Earth born families like the Wangs are rare here, but they are the highest of society. Most people who live on this planet are children or grandchildren of Earth-born people. The preservation of Earth is still a controversial subject. Currently, the planet is in a state of environmental turmoil. It’s uninhabitable, and people are barred from going to it. Many people are against spending any new money made in space on Earth, including many people in this room.

“Uh,” Yoongi gulps. He’s an honest man, doesn’t want to lie. That and mostly because he’s had a few drinks and that makes him too honest, a fool. “I’d love to visit it. I think it’s a beautiful planet, and we should take care of it. Hm, like I’ve actually been thinking of sneaking over and visiting it. I have an extra long summer this year, why not?”

“What?!” The first shout comes from Kim Seokjin, another member of high society. His family made much money off of leaving Earth, so it makes sense as to why he wouldn’t care so much about the mother planet. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. There’s no reason to keep that garbage planet around anymore—”

And he’s cut off from all the other screams erupting and attacking Min Yoongi. The circle is closing around him, and the only thing preventing people from touching the man is Jeon Jungkook. The muscle pig fends off anyone that physically tries to attack Yoongi.

You decide that this shouting fest is a signal for you to leave the room. Yeri’s sitting next to you, and she’s not into all this vocal and almost physical violence, so she takes your hand and gets up so you two can get out. You guide her to the little nook you were sitting in before. You two are still close enough to hear the screaming, but it’s quiet enough for you two to talk.

“Well, that was wild.” Yeri says. “I thought Jungkook and I in the same room would cause conflict, but apparently Min Yoongi’s words are ten times as powerful.”

“Yeah,” You take a breath. Yoongi and Jungkook are slipping out of the room in front of you two, running downstairs or somewhere to somehow escape the mob that’s following them. You quickly turn around afraid they’ll read your thoughts. Your voice drops to a whisper, afraid the mob will hear you. “You know, I actually agree with Yoongi. I think Earth is great, and would wanna visit it. Like we wouldn’t have to worry about oxygen shortages or any oxygen-related problems for once.”

“Hm,” Yeri nods, taking in what you just admitted. You trust the girl enough with this somewhat secret opinion of yours. “I actually agree with you on some level, though I would never want to visit it myself. I just don’t think we should toss it to the side. Too much history. It feels wrong.”

“Yeah! You get me.” You squeeze her hand, you’re still clasping, a little tighter glad you’re not alone in your thoughts.

A few minutes after you and Yeri witness Yoongi’s escape, Jeon Jungkook comes rushing up the stairs. Alcohol heavy in his breath, he kneels down in front of you two and takes Yeri’s hand in his. Looking at her directly in the eye, he mutters, “We need to talk.”

She simply nods as he stands up and leads her into the now empty bedroom where the turmoil began, and some may begin again. You, worried about another messy fight starting, rush into the room, panic building in your stomach. “Hey, I don’t think you guys should be talking alone.”

“Psh, shhh, shh, Y/N. You know how calm alcohol makes me, same with Jungkookie. This is probably the most peaceful we’ll ever be with each other, don’t worry.” The words spill out of her mouth quickly, and her eyes stay trained on Jungkook’s as they sit down on the floor next to each other, their strangely positioned bodies facing you and still holding hands. They look dumb, but you’re still worried about them.

“Nah, Y/N, don’t be a worry wart. I just want to get some closure before we leave for university, it’s been such a mess, and I just want to get some last words in before we both never see each other again. You know how it’s like nowadays.” Jungkook says in a rushed manner. He’s right though. People stay in school longer, getting post-graduate degrees right after their undergraduate degrees in order to get halfway decent jobs. Science is most popular occupation, so after getting PhDs or whatever, people go on immersing themselves in long-term studies for the rest of their lives. You know that Yeri is going after this common career path, so you can understand why Jungkook would want some literal final words with Yeri.

“Okay, before I leave. How’s Yoongi?”

Jungkook finally takes his eyes off Yeri to respond to you, “Hiding out. He’s planning on leaving in a few minutes.”

“Thanks, bye. Don’t fight.” So you slip out, but kept the door open just in case the former couple begins causing some trouble.

You are once again stationed at your little window spot, looking out into all the vehicles parked. Yoongi’s shiny, silver spaceship catches your eye once again. After hearing his honesty about Earth, you suddenly feel more drawn to him. The urge to converse with him about his thoughts on Earth is so strong. You two have something significant in common. This attraction mixed with the strange feeling of listening to Jungkook and Yeri’s whispers of final goodbyes (as well as the few drinks Yeri peer pressured you into drinking earlier) is what motivates you to go outside and stand right next to Yoongi’s spaceship waiting for him to arrive.

In a few minutes, just like Jungkook said, Yoongi gets outside to his ship. He looks like a classic emo boy, with his hands in his pockets and hood up covering most of his face, most likely to mask his identity from the mob that he miraculously escaped from.

“Hey!” You wave at him. You’re smiling, looking more friendly than anyone else he’s seen at the party all day. He’s still worried about the mob, so looks around to make sure no one followed him out and you aren’t baiting him into some trap. “I swear, I come in peace.” You flash him a peace sign, and that makes his lips curve into a little smile.

“Okay, but step behind the ship with me. I don’t want to be caught next to her—”He points at his ship—“and get her hurt by the mob.”

“Uh, alright.” You trust him enough that he won’t harm you, so you get behind the ship with him, hidden from anyone exiting the Wang household. You two are quiet, staring out at the fenced in open field Yoongi parked in front of. “Hey, uh, I thought that it’s pretty cool that you want to go to Earth.”

The quiet boy, turns his head, finally looking at your face. “Really?”

“Yeah, I’d like to visit it too. It’s a thing I’ve been thinking about for a while.”

“Psh, no way.” He rolls his eyes in disbelief.

“I actually really love planets and space. I think all the planets should be respected and taken care of.”

“There are planets everywhere. With ‘scientist’ being the most popular career today, a lot of people like planets and space. What makes you special?”

“Okay, I did not expect to be attacked with such a specific question. I would have thought someone just mobbed by a bunch of Earth-haters would be more peaceful.”

“Fine, okay. I’ll chill. Sorry, I get like weirdly honest and attacky when I’m drunk.”

“It’s alright.” A silence envelopes your conversation again. “Do you like seriously, really want to go to Earth?”

“Mhm.” Yoongi nods, turning his head to look at you again wondering about the thoughts going through your mind.

It’s probably the exhilaration of finally getting to talk to this guy you’ve never really been able to talk to before that gives you the courage to suggest this dumb, fun idea. “I feel the same way. Well, I think we should go. Together.”

“Now?”

“Uh, I mean, shouldn’t we plan it or something?”

“I’m a really good pilot, and I keep a go-bag in my ship for emergencies. I actually have this whole plan made and prepared for going to Earth. I just never had enough courage to act on it. Though knowing someone else is into going to Earth, I’m really down now.”

“Wow, I didn’t think me wanting to go to Earth would motivate you that much.”

“You’re that cool, Y/N.” Now, you’re blushing a little and turn away humbled by his compliment. You never really go out that much, so actually going to Earth is really wild for you, but your adrenaline is running so hard that you actually agree to this foolish plan.

“Sure.” You nod, still avoiding his gaze. “I just need to pick up some things from my house.”

“Won’t your parents be weird about you coming home and then disappearing for an extended period of time?”

“Psh, no they’re off on a business trip. What about your parents?”

“I have no idea why, but they’re cool with this Earth trip, as long as I let them know.”

“What? Are they insane? This is illegal and dangerous.”

“They’re that cool too.” He giggles, thinking his repeated statement is somehow clever. Then he unlocks his ship. “Get in.”

“Alright.” You climb in and watch as he almost trips getting inside.

“Wait, are you still drunk?”

“Mhm.” He nods, putting his keys in the ignition.

“Uh no, no. No drunk piloting.”

“Okay, then you pilot.” He takes out the keys and hands them to you, almost getting out of his seat.

“I’ve never piloted before, and I’m a little drunk too.” You hand the keys back to him. He looks at you, a little shocked expression on his face.

“You took AP Mechanics, but you’ve never flown a spaceship before?”

“No,” A little smirk crawls onto your face remembering that one time during a quiz when Yoongi got called out for not knowing what a car was. “But at least I know what a car is.”

“Okay, okay.” His cheeks are red, you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol or him being embarrassed. You didn’t bother looking at his face for so long earlier, too shy after your proposal. “Lemme sober up, then we’ll go.”

It’s like two hours later, and your third time using your portable breathalyzer on Yoongi, and he’s still drunk. For most of the time, silence fills the ship. Yoongi lets out an aggressive exhale of frustration, then starts digging into his pocket for something. A few seconds later, a joint and a lighter appear in his hand.

“You want a hit?” He asks you more casually than he should be asking. Yoongi’s calm tone makes it sound like you smoke weed with Yoongi frequently, which you don’t.

“What the fuck, Yoongi? This planet is so strict on drugs, how did you even get that?”

“Shh, don’t worry about it. Also please stop attacking me with your words. I’m about to pilot us to Earth, I’m a lil’ stressed. I don’t need your bitchy voice stressing me out more.”

“Okay, fine. But you know this is an oxygen rich environment, so you shouldn’t have any open flames. Also, YOU’RE TRYING TO GET SOBER. Please don’t get high in the process of so-called sobering up, you idiot.”

He rolls his eyes, and puts the joint and lighter in the console between you two. “Noted for the next time I want to smoke in an oxygen pod.”

“How about we talk to pass the time?”

“Genius idea. What do you want to talk about?”

“What do you want to do? After this, after high school.”

“Study to be a nuke engineer. Blow things up, boom boom. I love the idea of destroying villages.”

You look at him, with a confused expression unsure if he’s being serious or sarcastic. “Really?”

He looks at you too, shrugging his shoulders. “I guess. I mean, like seriously I want to be a nuclear engineer, but I’m just all morally conflicted about it for the reasons I listed before. A lot nuclear engineers end up working in the war industry, and I don’t know if I want to deal with all the morality in that without being willing to put myself on the line or experiencing these things face first. I’d want to experience the war first.”

“Have you ever considered joining the military?”

“I’ve always wanted to be a nuclear engineer, but only recently I’ve been thinking about the military. I actually have an intent to register, like one of those physical contract things. Probably going to be shipped off to some basic training by the end of this summer.”

“Wow, that’s wild.” It really is. There’s a high likelihood of him dying while in the military, considering all the interplanetary wars going on right now, but there are also many benefits for joining—discounts on anything you can think of, free education, free healthcare that actually works.

“I’ll be studying while serving, then I’ll probably leave and do something with my degree. I don’t really want to die.”

“Good idea.”

“Yeah,” He chuckles, thinking about his fragile morality. “Speaking of good ideas, what good ideas do you have for your future?”

“Well, I’m going off to another planet for immersive university studies. Obviously, like everyone everywhere I’m going to be a scientist. Though, I’m lucky enough to have already scored a spot in a study, which I’ll probably end up dedicating my life to.”

“Not nearly as wild as my plans, but safe.”

“Yeah, but I really want to get out more, but I’m already kind of locked in to my future.”

“Well, good thing we’re going to Earth then.”

author’s note The chapters are relatively short, but I’m splitting them because each chapter has a corresponding song. Lmbf was inspired by “Youth” by Troye Sivan, “Secret” by WJSN, and “Run” by BTS. Parts of each song have inspired parts of each chapter, but each song has its own dedicated chapter. “Youth” is this chapter’s main song.

main masterlist

Survey #189

“why are the children all marching into the desert to die?”

What does your trick-or-treat bag or pail look like? Pretty sure mine was usually just a plastic orange pumpkin. How old will you turn on your next birthday? 23, wow-ie. What are your plans to celebrate? Dinner with the fam, and I don't think I could possibly pass a birthday without getting a tattoo. :') Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? Don't watch it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? Yes. Were you a straight A student in math? No, I got Bs sometimes. Were you abused or do you know anyone who was abused? I know people who were. What is the name of your favorite coffee shop in your town? N/A What is fall weather usually like where you live? Usually warmish and breezy, but sometimes super cold. Do you think you have an accent? Very slightly. Do you use plastic, wooden, or wire hangers? Plastic. What is your favorite shade of yellow? Pastel. Are there any shades of blue that you don’t like? If so, which ones? No. Are you afraid of getting yelled at? YES YES YES YES I WILL CRY PLEASE DON'T Who has the best-decorated house in your town? *shrugs* What is your favorite part of Halloween? Dressing up. Is there a cemetery in your backyard? No. Did you decorate a pumpkin this year? No. ;_; What are some fall activities you would do with your kids? If I actually wanted them, take them on a hay ride (spooky one if they're older and want to), decorate pumpkins together, obviously go trick-or-treating, let 'em play in leaf piles. Have you ever seen a fox? Yes. What color are the squirrels where you live? Brown. Is there anything about Halloween you find offensive? Um no. What do the trees look like where you live? There's basically a shitload of pine trees, some dogwoods in spring (which fucking stink, btw), and then there's other trees idk the name of. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? YESSSSSSSSSSSS Do you find museums boring or interesting? Interesting! What was your school’s rival team’s mascot? Uhhhhh idr. What are three issues you are passionate about? Gay rights, gun control, and immigration. Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? I mean if I had to? What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? Klonopin, back when I had to take two a day. I was just barely able to function at all on three. Do you like bath bombs? Never used one, but sure. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Pussycat Dolls lmaoooooooo Do you like Disney movies? Only heathens don't. In what type of area was your first sexual encounter? A house. What do you occupy your time with on flights? Listen to my iPod. Do you ever realize how ridiculous you’re being yet continue on anyway? Sometimes in anxiety-type situations. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No. Have you ever been punched? No. What do you usually order from Olive Garden?
 Spicy shrimp fritas oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaah How do you like your steak cooked?
 Medium well. How do you feel about bats? I'm love them. Is anyone in your family artistic? Me. Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? No. Are you emo/gothic/punk? I AM the Thicc Goth GF in my head. I'm just too poor and lazy for the wardrobe. :^) Would you date someone 20 years older than you? Nooooooooooo that's way too big a difference for me. What is your father’s middle name? John. What was the last food you got a random craving for? Sour gummy worms lmao. What is something you enjoy doing, but aren’t good at? Singing, sometimes. Name some healthy foods that you enjoy eating. Strawberries, apples, peaches, corn, cucumbers, green beans, bananas... What is your favorite Studio Ghibli film? Don't think I've watched any. If your best friend was a fictional character, who would he/she be? Why? This requires too much thinking. What was the last song you listened to? Does it mean anything to you? Ninja Sex Party's cover of "Africa" is on now. No. What flavor was the last cupcake you ate? Chocolate. When was the last time you complimented a stranger? Idk. Do you know how to text without looking? Not well. What about typing without looking? Yup. Have you ever thrown rocks at a girl/guy’s window? No. When was the last time you bought a bathing suit? Like, a year back? Do you like eggnog? NOOOOOOOOOOO. How often do you see your mother? Every day. When was the last time your living room furniture was rearranged? Long time ago. When you were little, did you like watching Cartoon Network, Disney or Nickelodeon more? Disney. When is the last time that you experienced rejection–literal or imagined? By no means /serious/ rejection, but I suppose it fits the definition. Asked the tat/piercing parlor I go to about working there at the desk (the place isn't busy and I'm v comfortable there, so I think I easily could), but they let me know they currently didn't need anyone. When you are feeling down are you more likely to cheer yourself up by shopping, eating, or drinking? I've gotten loads better about it, but eating. Do you think there will be a time when our current age of rapid innovation comes to a standstill? What do you think is the limit of human technological advancement? No, honestly. It may stall, but I don't see it stopping any time soon. In hindsight, what was the most misguided/unhelpful assignment you had to do in school or college? Uhhhh idk. On any blogs or social media you may have, do you try to maintain a certain aesthetic or persona? Is this consistent across platforms or just specific to one? Not really. My less-appropriate sense of humor comes out more on Tumblr, and in some areas I type in all lowercase because I find it more aesthetically pleasing. Is there an artist or celebrity whom you admire for their craft but take issue with their personality or politics? Marilyn Manson, very easily. He's talented and unapologetically unique as all hell, but I do noooot like him as a person from what I know. What is the last party or event you were invited to but declined? Why? Are there certain events that you might be invited to which you are likely to decline? An old friend's Thanksgiving-ish friends party. I was tempted, but it was explicitly stated to BYOB and weed and I just didn't want to be in an environment where there was lots of drinking and smoking something that's still illegal in the state. I was already uncomfortable enough last time I went to a party at her house and there was so much smoking. You were also supposed to bring a piece of Thanksgiving food to contribute, but I can't cook and I didn't wanna bother Mom about it. For the last question, it's just about a "never" situation where I'm invited to a real event besides family birthday parties or meet-ups with Dad and his wife. Off the top of my head, I'd never go to a club if I was invited. Imagine your life three years from now as if things have gone perfectly, better than you would typically predict. What do you see? Living with a happy Sara in the mountains, very successful in photography and thus financially stable (or hopefully a bit beyond that), excelling in school, back to my healthy weight, my mental health is great and I'm on way fewer meds, Sara's able to breed snakes and write as a real career, COVER ME IN TATS BITCH, more piercings, a treatment/medication for hypotonia has been discovered, my niece and nephew have met Sara and been taught our relationship is not wrong (I doubt it though :x), I'm happy, it'd be nice to write with more people, I have at least one poem published, Teddy, Venus, Kaiju, Roman, Mitsu (now totally comfortable being held), and Sara's babies are still alive and kickin', Venus and Crowley have had a clutch, Sara's PMDD is under control, Dad's stopped smoking, Mom is in a healthy, fulfilling relationship, both Mom and Sara are at the weights they aim for, Nicole is with a guy she truly loves and he reciprocates properly, Mom has been treated for depression and has forgiven Dad... Man, lots of things. This question really made me look forward to creating this future. What about your personality makes you good at your job? Alternatively, why do you find yourself uniquely suited for or drawn to your ideal career path? No job, so I'll just respond to the second. Photography is pretty surprising as it requires serious communication, which y'all know isn't my forte in the least. However, I'm so passionate about it and feel knowledgeable enough on it to be confident. Plus I just love showing how beautiful the world is capable of being. Do you find it valuable or important to respect those in positions of authority simply because of their position? Does this vary based on what that position is? Nope. I'm not gonna respect an absolute asshole just because you're of a high position. It doesn't vary to me, either. Do you find that you often desire and/or enjoy sex? If not, why not and how do you negotiate those feelings with your partner? If so, what is it that you enjoy about it in particular? I'd say I desire it to a normal degree, and yeah, I enjoy it. Why, #1, it's such a passionate and intimate way to communicate how much you love and trust your partner. Then I mean it feels good so. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Idk. Seriously... three? When was the last time you were a passenger in a car and sat in the back? In the back, idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yes. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? Yes, flute. What is the best thing you’ve ever bought at a thrift shop? This cool crashed ship lamp! It's beside my bed. Have you ever ordered an unusual drink at a bar? No. What is your favorite thing about summer? Swimming. That's it. When was the last time you went to your local library? Whew, years. Can you do a proper cartwheel? No. Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport? No. Are you a fast-thinker or a slow-thinker? Slow. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention or The Trevor Project. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Magic: The Gathering and not since my PS3 broke (I had the Duel of the Planeswalkers store game on there and I WANT IT BACK). Who was the last person you cuddled with? Sara. Did you ever go to summer camp when you were younger? No. What is your favorite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times) Gingerbread men!! Are there any television shows you own in entirety on DVD or VHS? Meerkat Manor. How far away from your house is the nearest gas station? Like, two minutes. Do you know anyone who is fluent in a second-tongue? Yeah. What is the scariest movie you’ve ever seen and who did you watch it with? The Rite, but only because the whole "raped and impregnated by a demon" shtick is a fuck to the no from me. Watched it with my younger sis years ago. When was the last time you had a bubble bath? A looooooooong time ago, I don't like baths. What was the last strong scent you smelled? Poop. Good job, Bentley. What did you buy the last time you went shopping for new clothes? A bra, I think? How did you discover your favorite band? Mom's CDs. When I was getting into my rock and metal love, I went through them and listened to albums with cool covers or bands I knew she loved, and the first happened to be Ozzy. :') Does the weather affect your mood? If so, in what ways? Yes. I have a greater tendency to feel down when it's real cloudy and sometimes rainy. If it's really hot, I'm in a worse/cranky mood. When are you most likely to be bored? Late afternoon/evening. What was the last big decision you made? Hmmm. Going back to school, maybe? Where was the last place you traveled to, and what did you do while there? Illinois. Hang out with my bby. :') What is your favorite thing to go shopping for? Clothes at Hot Topic ahhhhh. What was the last thing you received in the mail? Something for VR. What is one of your wildest dreams or ambitions? Become a well-known photographer. When was the last time you performed in front of a group of people? Years ago for dance. Who was the last person to upset you? How about the last person to cheer you up? Mom; Sara. Is there anything or anyone you’re trying to get over or let go of? No. What was the subject of your last phone conversation? Uhhh something short with Ma that I don't remember. How close do you have to be with someone before you’ll consider them a friend? I have to feel decently comfortable around them. How do you feel when a mostly unheard of band (or tv show, movie, etc.) that you love suddenly starts to gain popularity? I'm happy for them! I just hope they don't change. When was the last time you listened to new music? Uhhh recently. Do you think it is strange when a couple says “we are pregnant” rather than “I am pregnant” or “my girlfriend is pregnant”? No, I actually prefer it. You're in that shit together. Do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong era? What decade would you most like to have grown up in? No. I'm good with the '90s. What was your most memorable concert experience? Only been to one. :| But Alice was great. If you have any, are you close with your sibling(s)? Has it always been that way? Not very, and no, at least with my younger sister. We were pretty close. Do you require “closure” after things like break-ups or do you move on easily? I. Need. Closure. How long does it take for someone to earn your trust? Good luck. Do you like peanut butter? Yesssss. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school? Do/did you prefer wearing it than regular clothes? In middle school. Hell no. What’s the last thing you got really excited over? Going to Sara's. Is there a genre of movie that you just can’t watch? Action-y. What was the last song to give you nostalgia? "Holiday" by Green Day. Do you have a certain color grape you like the most? Purple. What’s your signature thing you do when drinking that will make your friends say, “Alright, they’re drunk”? N/A Have you ever been on a hot air balloon? No. What’s your definition of weird? I try to keep the mindset that "weird" doesn't exist as I'm not one to talk about things being so, yet I'm hypocritical about it and do find some things, ex. fetishes, extremely weird. Do you use shaving cream? For my legs. When was the last time you cleaned your room? Is your room clean? I dusted my whole room a while back. I need to vacuum baaadly, but ours is broken. ;-; Have you ever personally known any girl who shaved their head? Yes. Have you ever known anyone who committed suicide? Sadly. Have you ever tried to commit suicide? Yes. Have you ever coughed up blood? No. How do you wish you could die? Surrounded by family and painless. Do you have any apps on your Facebook? If so, what? No. What kind of mouse pad do you have? Don't have one. What color is your mouse? Pink. Do you know any who might be anorexic? Do you know anyone who has bulimia? Maybe? Did you ever want a pony when you were little? Idr. What’s your favorite dessert food? Ice cream. What is the closest thing to you right now that is alive? My dog. Do you exercise? I'm starting to again. Do you dislike writing school essays? Not if it's a subject I like. Are you a very open-minded person? Yes. Are you modest? I believe I am. Do you skate? No. Are you in a band? No. If you were to make it big with your own band, what would its name be? *shrugs* It depends on the members. Would you rather a friend come over to your house or you go over there? I go over there. Have you ever had rabies? No. Do you know anyone who ever had to get a rabies shot? Idk. Have you ever gone hunting? No, never would. Ever eaten deer? Duck? Squirrel? How about lamb? No. Have you ever received a note in your locker? I think once from Aaron?

All of the aesthetic asks please

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?

I last sang to myself…hm…about ten minutes ago? Before my roommate came back from her class! All Time Low by Jon Bellion is stuck in my head today!

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?

Hm…this is a very good question…probably if we will ever live on other planets. Space is v neat.

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

Living!! Something I’ve been doing for almost 19 years!! Because sometimes being alive is Rough™️️ and that’s okay! I try my best and that’s all a person can do!

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?

There’s two that came right to mind! The first is the most recent, when my aunt let me play with her makeup and hair and I low-key transformed her into the next Stevie Nicks. Good TImes™️️! The other one that came right to mind is when I got to see my favorite person for the first time in over a year when she came home for a weekend. I miss her bunches.

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

I mean probably? I’d probably not continue my college education and try to travel different places. Work on my bucket list. But I also potentially wouldn’t change anything.

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?

Pet a giraffe (done), own a hedgehog, and own a bed and breakfast (in no particular order)

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.

She’s got shoulder-length brown hair and big, beautiful sea-glass colored eyes. Full-lips and a contagious smile. Her entire persona just makes you want to sit and listen to what she has to say for hours on end. Her voice calms me down. Her sense of humor can be a little dark sometimes but that’s okay, because it makes me laugh. (I guess I can be pretty dark, too) She has been through a lot, but she has never stopped fighting and I truly admire that about her. I love her a lot. She’s like an angel to me.

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?

I feel I had a relatively normal childhood!

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?

Pssshhh yesterday when I got in a car accident, I cried in front of my roommate, the other driver who was involved, and two police officers.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.

I’d probably pick my cousin John. He’s a man of quiet solitude and loves the outdoors. His mind wanders a lot so I feel it’d be a good fit. ‘Specially since my eyes are too bad to see that far away :P

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?

Maybe? If we were stuck together for a long period of time, sure.

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?

My friend Nikki. She and I were wandering around the city and talking and being idiots. She’s a long-time childhood friend.

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?

I’d engrave “nothing is set in stone” on my gravestone with my own two hands so that way everyone who sees it can roll their eyes in exasperation at me.

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?

I lowkey think I had a thing for people for brown eyes - every person I’ve dated has had brown eyes. (Except one, but we don’t talk about that.) They’re beautiful and deep, and there’s so much more…to them than…what…meets…the…eye…I hate myself.

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.

“Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways.” This is the story of my life. i am messy. I am complicated. I live in constant anxiety and I always show up anyways.

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?

Things that Happened™️️

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?

Move to another country. Buy a little house and a dog and lots of flowers. Create the aesthetic that I will probably never be able to afford.

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?

With some things I am too forgiving. With others I hold too many grudges. I don’t like being this way really because if I forgive I never forget and since I never forget, I feel like I never truly forgive. winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.

(I’m going to do an estimate on words.)

Dear twelve year old me,You are going to make so many mistakes. So, so many mistakes. Right now is the beginning of where we as a person went wrong. We treat ourselves like crap, and I wish I could warn you of what is going to happen, but I can’t. I, for one am not a time traveler, and B) you become a better person because of it all. I hope. I don’t know. I’m still working on it. Read a lot of books. Make a lot of art. Ignore boys in general cuz boy oh boy do you have another thing coming. Sincerely, Me. The Older Screw-up™️️

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?

Neither. I am Punk Pastel™️️

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.

LOVE THEM. I have 6 piercings so far, though my final number is aimed to be around 12. I have one tattoo, but I plan on becoming a walking canvas. It’s my body, and I want to treat it like the masterpiece it is.

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?

I either wear a shit ton of makeup or nothing at all. There is no in between with me. But I really LOVE makeup.

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.

I grew up on Pink Floyd, so I guess I have them to blame for my constant Angst™️️.

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.

LMAO I can’t do speeches in front of a class, no way in hell would I be able to say something to the entire world. It’d probably just be a *choking noise*

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra - Christmas-y!Hannah Montana/the Jonas Brothers - honestly don���t remember too much of that concertScott Stapp - Really happy and chill because my dad was with me and very happy. Warped Tour - Very emo. Just…very, very emo. Black Veil Brides - I had a headache the next day but it was a lot of fun! Nothingbutthieves - I had no idea who this band was but they ended up being really good. I felt very relaxed and old…there were a lot of younger kids there.X-Fest- I was really only there to see Wheezer and Panic! At the Disco but it was sooooo much fun. Lots of dancing and GORGEOUS sunsets.Florence and the Machine - Like the gypsy princess I wish I could be. Taylor Swift (all of her tours) - I am always going to love Taylor Swift. Her music just makes me very happy and I’m not ashamed to say that I love her. Very dance. Much smile. Many off-key singing from my aunt and I.

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say?

My Person, Angel. And it could say anything in the world, I’d still be happy because this week is already extremely Rough™️️

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?

My desk at home is very cute and artsy but the one here at school is kinda really messy.

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?

At home I usually take a bath, wash my face, brush my teeth, put on my fleetwood Mac record and my fairy lights and go on tumblr. (I know, it sounds fake. But it’s true.)

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?

Technically there’s two things. I like girls and I have a tattoo.

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?

It would be pink ALL over and it’d be longer than it is now so I can wear space buns and put hair glitter in it.

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?

Sarah, Isabella, Megan, Morgan, and Jules. I don’t know what we would do or where we would go but I think it’d be v fun.

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.

I wish school was over (I’m stressed) I wish for a hedgehog (they’re so cute)And I wish all my friends were happy (I’m lame)

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.

Oh I’ve decided for halloween next year I’ll be Van gogh. I’m going to wear my starry night dress and have an ear necklace and carry around sunflowers.

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?

Never been high. I got drunk once and made out with a boy.

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?

Kill anything or anyone

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?

Song: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.

I’m gonna pass on this one.

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?I am a girl and I had short hair once (its still pretty short) but I loved it

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?

My friend Sam. Vanilla Chai Tea Latte

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?

Sleep.

This was very long but very fun! Thank you anon!!!

The Buy Pile: Welcome To Image Comics’ God Country

WHAT IS THE BUY PILE?

Every week Hannibal Tabu (winner of the 2012 Top Cow Talent Hunt/blogger/novelist/poet/jackass on Twitter/head honcho of Komplicated) grabs a whole lotta comics. These periodicals are quickly sorted (how) into two piles — the “buy” pile (a small pile most weeks, comprised of planned purchases) and the “read” pile (often huge, often including comics that are really crappy but have some value to stay abreast of). Thursday afternoons you’ll be able to get his thoughts (and they’re just the opinions of one guy, so calm down, and here’s some common definitions used in the column) about all of that … which goes something like this …

THE BUY PILE FOR JANUARY 11, 2017

God Country #1 (Image Comics)

Jump from the Read Pile. Whoa. This staggering new idea — and it is that, a wholly new idea — does everything right in a pitch perfect first issue. What seems like a fairly by-the-numbers if effectively presented family drama takes a big turn in the third act and becomes something magnificent. Too much to spoil, but the script from writer Donny Cates delivers characters and a plot that work and feel right while the visuals from Geoff Shaw, Jason Wordie, and John J. Hill effectively makes a desolate section of Texas come alive on the page. Where has this book been hiding? Wow.

It’s a bumpy ride but still pretty good in “Deathstroke” #10

Deathstroke #10 (DC Comics)

Warning: this issue signals a chance for this series to lose its “buy on sight” status. There were some solid developments in small doses — Rose Wilson using her gifts to bond with her mother’s relatives and a flashback for the titular character — but the story wasn’t a single cohesive narrative and meandered too restlessly. There was a lot to enjoy, but this issue didn’t stand up to the series’ standards. Had this been read before purchasing, it would be an honorable mention, so let’s see if it can find its way back to greatness next issue.

Harlem’s heating up in “Power Man and Iron Fist” #12

Power Man And Iron Fist #12 (Marvel Comics)

Despite the super powers and sometimes spectacular (or in Iron Fist’s case, laughable) costumes, this is a crime comic done so well. Three rival groups — the Black Cat and Piranha Jones on one hand, the formerly dead teen genius Alex Wilder on a second and albino crime lord Tombstone as a third — are all vying for control of the criminal underworld in Harlem. Along the way, the innocent became victims of the system and the guilty saw their crimes washed away, all with two best buds caught in the middle. David Walker’s script allows everyone a moment to shine in a harmonic smoothness that makes this book a joy to read. The visuals from Sanford Greene, Lee Loughridge and Clayton Cowles are rough hewn but fitting for the highly kinetic, rough and tumble city streets. This book is a joy to read and almost Shakespearean in its machinations.

Get into the Wayback Machine for a secret origin in “The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl” #16

Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #16 (Marvel Comics)

The origin issue is a staple in comics, and with her 25th anniversary as a character (wow!) we look back at the literal origins of Doreen Green, who didn’t have to wait until puberty to begin her climb into awesomeness. From what could be the most awesome five-year-old birthday party ever (apologies to the children of this columnist) to celebrations of her birthday throughout the years this wonderfully exposed not only her great character development but also her longtime relationship with her squirrel friend Monkey Joe (no idea why he’s called that). Ryan North turns in another winning script (with Will Murray, Squirrel Girl’s creator) and the cartoony, kinetic stylings of Erica Henderson, Rico Renzi and Travis Lanham (with a Steve Ditko sketch in there, too) deliver big time.

WHAT’S THE PROGNOSIS?

Even in the sole challenge, there were high points, plus that great jump from Image, so that’s a good thing …

THIS WEEK’S READ PILE

Honorable Mentions: Stuff worth noting, even if it’s not good enough to buy

“Occupy Avengers” #3 was very close to making it home as the chemistry and banter between characters was as engaging as the clean, gorgeous artwork. Unfortunately, we were all having such a good time making new friends that the plot didn’t keep up, lacking story meat when push came to shove. Very close and the first two issues were stellar, so this will likely pick up steam next issue.

“Doctor Who The Eleventh Doctor Year Three” #1 had a lot of charm and started strong but didn’t finish or tell a complete story, as if it never had any intentions of being a single installment. Enjoyable until it was frustrating.

If the changes in Victor Creed last longer than this crossover, “Uncanny X-Men” #17 might be worth noting. As it was, too many red shirts fell and too much monologuing from Sabretooth made this a little emo even amongst all the bloodshed.

“Green Valley” #4 was running a little too slowly for its own good, but answered a number of questions about the nature of the threat and did some solid character development.

“Captain America Steve Rogers” #9 succeeded largely in its flashbacks, giving the cosmic cube-powered retcon real resonance and gravity. It failed mightily in its cover-advertised “Trial of Maria Hill,” which had procedural, scientific and logical flaws big enough to fly a helicarrier through (unless Everett K. Ross is just a really bad lawyer). This gets closer to finding its ground, but hasn’t made it there yet.

The “Meh” Pile Not good enough to praise, not bad enough to insult, they just kind of happened … “Titans” #7, “Ninjak” #23, “Deadpool” #24, “All-Star Batman” #6, “Foolkiller” #3, “Dungeons And Dragons Frost Giant’s Fury” #1, “Guardians Of The Galaxy” #16, “Hard Case Crime The Assignment” #1, “Totally Awesome Hulk” #14, “Detective Comics” #948, “Spider-Man Deadpool” #13, “Birthright” #21, “Flash” #14, “Spider-Man” #12, “Hard Case Crime Triggerman” #4, “Jessica Jones” #4, “Doctor Who The Tenth Doctor Year Three” #1, “Khaal” #1, “Rocket Raccoon” #2, “Hal Jordan And The Green Lantern Corps” #12, “James Bond Felix Leiter” #1, “Justice League Power Rangers” #1, “Silk” #16, “Samurai Brothers In Arms” #5, “Uncanny Avengers” #19, “Wonder Woman” #14, “E.V.I.L. Heroes” #4, “All-New Wolverine” #16, “Red Hood And The Outlaws” #6, “Deep” #1, “Mighty Thor” #15, “Suicide Squad” #9, “Assassin’s Creed Awakening” #3, “Superwoman” #6, “Flash Gordon Kings Cross” #3, “Motro” #3, “Violent Love” #3, “Supergirl” #5, “Marvel Universe Guardians Of The Galaxy” #16, “Mega Princess” #3, “Spawn” #269, “Groo Fray Of The Gods” #4, “Scooby Apocalypse” #9, “Savage Dragon” #219, “Namesake” #3, “Doctor Strange And The Sorcerers Supreme” #4, “New Super-Man” #7, “Amazing Spider-Man Renew Your Vows” #3, “Doctor Who The Third Doctor” #4, “Ms. Marvel” #14, “Justice League Of America Vixen Rebirth” #1, “Motor Crush” #2, “Inhumans Vs X-Men” #2, “Gotham Academy Second Semester” #5, “Red Sonja” #1, “Star Wars Poe Dameron” #10, “Earth 2 Society” #20, “Invisible Republic” #14, “Batgirl And The Birds Of Prey” #6, “Great Lakes Avengers” #4, “Doctor Who The Twelfth Doctor Year Two” #13, “Action Comics” #971, “Daredevil” #15.

No, just … no … These comics? Not so much … … what? Nothing awful? That’s fantastic!

SO, HOW BAD WAS IT?

Good to have nothing to complain about.

WINNERS AND LOSERS

Call this week a winner with that brilliant new idea and nothing to truly be angry about.

THE BUSINESS

The writer of this columnist will be a special guest at Black Comix Arts Festival in San Francisco, making a number of new announcements about comics projects for 2017.

The writer of this column isn’t just a jerk who spews his opinions — he writes stuff too. A lot. Like what? You can get “The Crown: Ascension” and “Faraway,” five bucks a piece, or spend a few more dollars and get “New Money” #1 from Canon Comics, the rambunctious tale of four multimillionaires running wild in Los Angeles, a story in “Watson and Holmes Volume 2” co-plotted by “2 Guns” creator Steven Grant, two books from Stranger Comics — “Waso: Will To Power” and the sequel “Waso: Gathering Wind” (the tale of a young man who had leadership thrust upon him after a tragedy), or “Fathom Sourcebook” #1, “Soulfire Sourcebook” #1, “Executive Assistant Iris Sourcebook” #1 and “Aspen Universe Sourcebook,” the official guides to those Aspen Comics franchises. Love these reviews? It’d be great if you picked up a copy. Hate these reviews? Find out what this guy thinks is so freakin’ great. There’s free sample chapters too, and all proceeds to towards the care and maintenance of his kids … oh, and to buy comic books, of course. There’s also a bunch of great stuff — fantasy, superhero stuff, magical realism and more — available from this writer on Amazon. What are you waiting for? Go buy a freakin’ book already!

Got a comic you think should be reviewed in The Buy Pile? If we get a PDF of a fairly normal length comic (i.e. “less than 64 pages”) by no later than 24 hours before the actual issue arrives in stores (and sorry, we can only review comics people can go to stores and buy), we guarantee the work will get reviewed, if remembered. Physical comics? Geddouttahere. Too much drama to store with diminishing resources. If you send it in more than two days before comics come out, the possibility of it being forgotten increases exponentially. Oh, you should use the contact form as the CBR email address hasn’t been regularly checked since George W. Bush was in office. Sorry!

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