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skinnyazn · 11 months

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Something Like That

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader (Jaguar)

Chapters: 1/1

Notes: NSFW 18+ SMUT i just wanted to write the softest, stupidest uwu shit between these two fear of intimacy babes, guess it can work as a just Simon x reader fic too, but Jag is down bad and so is Simon, they’re idiots in love, ur honor, blame the full moon for me being in my feels while writing this,

MASTERLIST

It took you by surprise the first time it happened. Tucked away in your San Francisco apartment, in the dark, on leave.

You had awoken softly in the night. Even though you couldn’t see him in the blacked-out room, you could still feel him. He was lying on his back; the movement of his chest slowly rising and falling was peaceful—the gravity of his weight pulled you into him. And somehow his hand had found its way to the top of your thigh in sleep. Some subconscious desire to always keep you close. Simons’ fingers twitched slightly. You had no idea what time it was, and frankly it didn’t matter—the days blurred into one another since you got back.

Shifting quietly, you angled toward him. Instinctually, your beautiful ghost gripped your thigh, rubbing higher. You sucked in a quiet breath. His were still even and deep; sleeping, then. In the black, you stared at him. As though the intensity of it could part the darkness. Even after all these months of being back on the team, of sleeping together every chance you got, you’d never seen his full face. What you would give…

Silently, you shifted under the covers; the warmth of his hand left you. Kissing the crease of his thigh ever so softly, you inhaled him and the scent of sex from your earlier session. You wanted to live in it. Tracing your tongue across the saltiness of his skin and hair, you took his softness into your mouth. He stirred. It was pointless, but you still looked up at him to see if he had woken. But his breathing resumed its deep metronomic rhythm. You laved your tongue over his soft cock, feeling it grow inside your mouth. It never got old, the privilege of tasting Simon Ghost Riley.

Simon let out a deep sigh. His hands found you under the covers as he stirred; his thick fingers petting your hair. But he didn’t say anything. Maybe the man was in that lovely lucid state—still in a dream but able to feel everything around him. You teased his cock with your tongue, enjoying the weight of him in your mouth. His fingers threaded through your hair now, massaging your scalp lightly. What bliss.

Harder now, you were able to fit more of him in, swirling your tongue along his underside, then pressed him deep into the back of your throat. That rewarded you with a longer groan and a cant of his hips. Your saliva started to pool around the base of his cock as you sloppily worked him; his massive hands pressing harder into you. But you were running out of oxygen under the sheets, so you pulled him out of your mouth with an audible pop and gently kissed up his tensed core and chest.

Wrapping the covers around your lower half, you straddled Simon’s thick thighs. His body was still languid under you as you squeezed him inside, both of you letting out a quiet sigh in the darkness. The callouses of his palms scratched at the softness of your hips as he gripped them lazily. Your hands pressed against his chest, feeling his strong heartbeat underneath. The sex was unhurried and tender and perfect. You wished the moment could stretch on forever so that the feeling of being filled by Simon could permeate every aspect of your life. So that his quiet groans and your uneven breathing could play on repeat in your head.

But his grip on your hips brought you back to the present—stilling them with one hand while the other went to his face. His breath was shaky as he inhaled.

“Too much?” you asked, moving to slide off. “We don’t—“ but he held your hips in place.

“No….” It came out ragged.

You reached for his face in the blackness. The bent arm obscured his eyes, tense and vascular. You leaned forward to kiss it, his elbow, down the length of his bicep, inhaling into the crook of his arm. Simon was completely rigid under you, breathing shallow breaths. You could feel him softening inside of you so you just held him, resting your weight on his chest; this massive god of a man, trembling quietly below you.

“I’m here,” you broke the silence after some time, as you stroked his hair.

“Mhm.”

You didn’t press it. You never did—never would. Whatever it was between the two of you, you knew better than to pry. So you laid in the silence with the man you’d been falling for since your first assignment together.

“Think—“ it came out thick. His arm was still over his face. You wondered if he was drawing blood with how tightly his hand was closed. “Fuuuck.” He released a frustrated sigh.

You held your breath.

Simon eventually cleared his throat. “Think I’m in love with you.”

You blinked.

“What?”

It felt like you had just fallen out of a helo, landed on your back, and were too crippled from the fall to even move. The silence of the room was becoming unbearable until Simon releases a ragged laugh.

“Fucked, innit?”

Your brain was still trying to catch up with what he just said. What The Simon Ghost Riley just said. Propping yourself up, you stared at him in disbelief.

He released you and covered his face with both hands, exhaling as he pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes. But you gripped them and pulled them away, ignoring their wetness.

“This isn’t just the sex talking?”

“Wish it was, Jag,” he murmured back, hands smoothing down your waist.

You leaned into him, pressed your forehead against his, and smiled into his lips. And laughed. “It is fucked.”

“Royally,” and he opened his mouth for you, melting into the kiss.

You squeezed around his hardening length as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. “Simon…” you sighed. He slowly began thrusting into you, getting harder with each undulation. You sucked his tongue as he slid in deeper, eliciting a delicious groan from your man. “Guess we can be fucked together, then,” you finally breathed.

And he chuckled that rich, unbearable laugh as he flipped you onto your back and showed you just how much he meant it.

#uwu #my fic #cod fic #Simon ghost Riley #Simon ghost Riley fic #si #ghost x reader #ghost x jaguar #ghost x female reader #lemon #Simon ghost Riley x reader #ghost fic #my fics

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gnashingwailing · 11 days

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@fireflywritesgt LOVINGLY WRITING MY UNHINGED CH23 THOUGHTS AND THEN BURYING THEM UNDER A READMORE. I felt such overwhelming hype when I saw we got 2 chapters in 1 day I truly was ready to throw my phone out the fucking window. TOO MUCH JOY FOR ONE LITTLE GNASH... I hadn't even finished processing ch21......

first off pov Joe when he goes to Calloway's to pick up his cute new tailored fit in 3 days

soooo right from the jump. hey.

"“…’cause he’s way better off than I am, it’ll make it harder for me to leave him or something. That he’s luring me in. I mean—” Joe laughed nervously as he steeled himself in preparation for how the captain would react to his next statement “—if it were a giant treating me the way he treats me, everyone would call me a pet.”

“Well of course they would, Joe. That’s because giants are evil.” The captain said matter-of-factly.

He may as well have poked Joe squarely in the eye. Nonetheless, the bartender continued."

hey. UM. Joe you beautiful idiot who canonically has bad luck and, presumably from reading this very chapter, a terrible poker face. Maybe you should have said. Any Other Thing? GODDD in my heart he's definitely sooo overconfident and drunk like wow I am so smooth :) nobody suspects a thing :) while Calloway is having a conversation with him like uh... just saying, but you know, none of us could stop you from. for example. idk. becoming a giant's pet. we wouldn't like that but it's just a random thing that came to mind just now, unrelated to the really tall really wealthy really powerful guy who is afraid of taking advantage of you by luring you in and giving you things like a giant would and maybe isn't treating you like a person. And you're afraid you shouldn't want it. Like BRO IT IS SO OVER FOR YOU even without Harry literally calling Joe's name 3+ times in the dead silence 😭😭😭😭 And presumably Harry having been waiting around there for a while to see Joe! Loitering in a way we know tinies are on guard about since they all noticed that snatcher back in Ch13!

They're idiots ur honor, so true, but it's all worth it to see Joe get rescued and swoon like a damsel ... I definitely wonder if Calloway observed any of that, and what he might think about it if so. >:) May or may not have been daydreaming and writing bits about how horrifying it would be to give your surrogate kid all this well-meaning advice, see him nearly slip to his death, and while you're hurrying down to try and help him, watching him call out to a walking nightmare for help and then get whisked away by it

I have a pet theory that everything we've seen from Calloway so far has been pretty heavily colored by it being from Joe's perspective when he's having a bad day, and maybe he will be more understanding than we think? Objectively, I didn't think he was being very rude or anything back in Ch 13, when he was speculating on Joe's love life. It rankled Joe, which is understandable, but he 1) he's happy that Joe looks good, 2) he doesn't let Gutters or O'Grady rag on Joe too hard and 3) he just generally seems like an interested father figure would about his kid's love life:

"“Oh, lay off him, Tim. It’s a good borrowing year!” Captain Calloway cut in. “We all have ‘em, we all enjoy ‘em, we all cry ourselves to sleep when they’re over.”

Relief washed over Joe like the warm water in Harry’s sink.

“Though I gotta say…” The captain gave a wry smile as he continued. “…it could just as easily be someone else’s good borrowing year if ya’ catch my drift. Could be he’s got a little sweetheart looking after him. A brick of pure chocolate? That’s practically a dowry."”

Although I may be wrong here, since Ch 21's incident at Tiny Town with the Italian mob that saved him gives us the insight that "[for] the first time in Joe’s entire existence at that, Joe understood what it was like to have a real father." So maybe Calloway is not that nurturing to Joe and not much of a caring dad -- as @remordsposthume's tags so wisely point out:

WTF WAS HE DOING LETTING HIM LEAVE THE BAR LMAO. Calloway's Den of Drunkards confirmed for an "everybody drive home drunk. it's not my problem" bar??? Everyone is processing TAoLaW thru their own cultural lens and. in that spirit. lmfao. I must say. Calloway reminds me of the libertarian redneck dads I've known who just let their kids do whatever. If he was a giant I think he'd let his kids ride ATVs thru the woods drunk. Most probably he would also be ridin around drunk with them. "If you die it's your own damn fault" being his motto is too on the nose LOL. Huge farm dad "I LOVE MY SONS. ONLY HALF OF THEM WILL SURVIVE TO ADULTHOOD BUT I DO LOVE THEM" energy. To Me.

(Btw Harry & Joe processing their parental issues together WHEN <3)

BUT ANYWAY YEAH EVEN IF CALLOWAY WAS THE MOST UNOBSERVANT GUY IN THE WORLD RE: THAT SUSPICIOUS CONVERSATION? YOU WERE LITERALLY BOTH SCREAMING EACH OTHERS' NAMES LIKE LOVESICK ROMANCE PROTAGONISTS RIGHT UNDER THE DREDGE THAT'S STILL PROBABLY GOT AT LEAST SOME NIGHT MARKET CUSTOMERS? HELLO?? @94444 we are on the same wavelength rn

AND MORE ABOUT CALLOWAY... I am very heartened by how you mentioned once, Warren, that you planned to give each character real depth and treat them with sincerity. I feel very interested about when that time will be for Calloway! We know that he takes in kids (or at least O'Grady and Joe scratch that. tag lore be upon me) and teaches them how to sell trinkets. We know that he hates giants. We know he's been horribly injured in a way that led to him losing a hand, an eye, and possibly teeth. Knowing what we do about the risks of being a borrower, and how casually cruel giants are to them, it's not unlikely those last 2 things are related. I'M TAKING YOUR TAGS AND RUNNING AWAY WITH THEM LIKE A DOG W SOMETHING IN ITS MOUTH.

So Calloway knew them for several years as vulnerable kids... then lost them for a year or so... then got them back after they escaped the watchmaker's? I will be interested to see if that trauma means he's more protective of them, or uh, still more drunk libertarian dad about them. Lmao. He seemed like he cared about Joe getting into Tiny Town way back in Ch3 tho at least! (as an aside... interested in who Gutters is, too. He SEEMS to be older than Joe/Tim, but he could also still be a Calloway Kid himself... he seems to defer to Calloway... and/or he could just be some guy embittered about giant/tiny relations. which. fair, brother.)

If the broader Tiny Town culture (such as it is... would word get around about this incident with Joe and Harry, or does news just not travel that well amongst lots of secluded borrower communities? much to consider. it makes sense in a dark way why you would physically mark somebody who's transgressed against society's cardinal rule, in a culture where you cannot generally spread information effectively) would reject Joe for his proclivities... will Calloway, too? Or is it Joe's anxiety making him think that? I'm afraid we already know how Tim would feel. Other than him, Calloway is the person who Joe seems most connected to in miniature society... Although Harry's worry about Joe not spending enough time around his fellow miniatures in Ch22 is at least partially motivated by his own guilt-trip, I think he has a bit of a point! I hope Joe doesn't lose touch with everyone -- or if he does, I hope there will be new friends out there for him, too, who are more understanding.

(LORRAINE WHEN)

Now Calloway aside, OBVIOUSLY THE ENDING OF THIS CHAPTER HAD ME HOOTIN AND HOLLERIN.

“Joe… can we go back to the big, sexy giant part for a second?” <- LIT'RALLY me rereading this chapter 800 times

A snapping turtle is a fantastic little horror for poor Joe to face, woof. Those fuckers are scary enough when ur height is measured in feet. The quick way they snap is no joke. Just want to 👏👏👏👏 about how good this passage is: The turtle’s maw emerged from the waters of the lake like the gaping mouth of some ancient monster that fed on the souls of sailors. The grimy lakewater rushed over its beady little eyes as its beak, sharp as a dagger, flew towards Joe faster than a gunshot. YEAH.

It just!! makes my little heart sooooo happy to see that Joe does have someone who will unconditionally look out for him...!!! Harry has his issues, and they're still learning how to open up about themselves, but he consistently shows up!! :') the thought of him waiting for his man all night ... hoping the dredge would be the place Joe meant ... and then acting sooo fast when he saw a tiny guy fall off of it... what a faithful hound of a [future] boyfriend. Calloway is so right. Joe deserves somebody to look after him. And Joe has done the (forgive me for the loaded meme) girl math on this. One big man is the best possible outcome for him. ONLY THE BIGGEST MAN WILL DO to keep him off of his bullshit as much as possible 👍👍

And OF COURSE god their conversation is just so so so fucking funny. "Thank you" "fuck no I'm not" -> "FUCK YOU" is INCREDIBLE i CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT lmaooooo and Harry still being so gentle about receiving this insult and trying to parse what Joe means ... he does listen to Joe, they're definitely not back to square one as drunk!Joe feared, his own issues are just getting in the way! (And Joe's are getting in the way of him seeing thru Harry's facade into what the real issue is! We love to see it!)

"“I meant that. You don’t get to call me handsome until you start listening to me.” He slurred. “You gotta—you gotta want it.”

Joe crossed his arms and scowled up at the beautiful man and his beautiful face as Harry tried to parse what Joe was saying.

“Want it…?” Harry echoed.

“Yeah. You gotta want to be my friend. And screw what anyone else thinks!”"

And did anyone else cackle at how Joe telephone-gamed Calloway's advice to still be in plausible-deniability-land. "You gotta want to be my friend" ok. not what he fuckin said. run that back real quick -> "Not if you’re being open about what you want and everything. That’s how love works, Joe. You gotta want it."

I just adored the moments of insight between them, too. "... Joe knew his real answer was yes – he was just too afraid to say it overtly. He argued and fought and begrudgingly accepted it instead. / What was that saying to Harry?" vs. Ch22 Harry's revelation: "How much of his relationship with Joe was genuine, he wondered, and how much of it was Joe going along with Harry’s suggestions in the name of diplomacy?"

Joe IS acting like somebody who's being coerced! Harry IS being a trustworthy guy by noticing it and checking in once their relationship is definitely turning intimate! It's so fascinating to think in hindsight that every time Joe turned red and embarrassed, Harry was having a thought at the back of his mind like "he doesn't want this. I'm scaring him. He doesn't want me, and he doesn't even know the real me yet. And worse, he can't tell me, because he's afraid of what I might do to him." But he can't SAY all that because it would hurt too much if he said it and Joe confirmed he was actually correct, so Ch22 comes out as a trainwreck where he's accidentally insulting Joe's ability to survive without him. (Side note I KNEW Harry wasn't REALLY considering Joe his landlord. Sad!!! That fucked up scrawny starving guy has squatter's rights and he was doing pretty good all things considered maybe !!!)

The respective issues ~Society~ has given both of them just make it impossible to talk about the root of their problems without baring your guts in a really terrifying way. OOF.

HOWEVER this chapter confirming that homophobia isn't such a problem in tiny society is going to make this eventual conversation betwen them real interesting... Harry like "You don't understand Joe :( there's something really wrong with me... ... I like ... men..." and Joe being like "omg :) :) :) :) :) wait what's wrong with you tho" and then Joe "No you don't understand Harry :( I know this is sick but... I like.. giants... I'm sure you could never see someone smaller than you as anything other than a pet ..." and Harry just ":) :) :) :) oh what no :) Georgie was shorter than me" I hope they can have a good, baffled laugh at how long they could've been snuggling guilt-free. At the end of the angst. <3

#taolaw

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onepiece-polls · 9 months

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One Piece Shipping War - Round 2 Side A

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Deuce x Ace:

Have you read the novels? They’re gay your honor.

The classic captain/first mate combo. They even have matching names! Also if you have read “Ace’s Story” it’s clear how affectionately Deuce views Ace. ☀️

Stranded idiots to friends to lovers

They are very cute together!!!!

Deuce is from Novel A and my godd is he gay for Ace. They met on a small deserted island and at first Deuce didn't like him because he was in his angsty phase. He had just renounced his name, becoming nameless, but Ace wanted something to call him, so he started calling him Masked Deuce (because he wore a mask and so the names matched). Deuce didn’t like it at first and then suspected Ace was taking the few resources there were for himself. So then he picked up a stick, intent on killing Ace when he found him with a fruit, but he was so weak that when Ace turned around he went "cool stick!" and simply yanked it from him, Deuce deflated. And that's when Ace realized he'd been trying to kill him, but he didn't panic. It was a bit awkward but he decided to share the fruit between them. A half for Ace a half for Deuce. Ace took the first bite and then the other did as well. It was horrible, and yet delicious for the simple fact Deuce had been starving. It was of course the Mera Mera no Mi. After that moment, they became much closer and Deuce's perception of the other completely changed. He became infinitely loyal to him. He kept the name. They worked together and when finally being able to leave the island, he remarks it suck they couldn't even find any treasure, and Ace turns around, looks directly at him, and says "I wouldn't be too sure about that" with a smile. They deserve to be in this competition. They're just...

Novel A is the propaganda, they're so gay for each other. Deuce talks about how lucky he is to be dedicating his life to Ace and Ace calls Deuce the treasure he found on Sixis.

I decided to read the Ace book and I thought everything was exaggerating about Deuce and Ace being gay. And wow was I wrong they were not. When Deuce says Ace didn’t find a treasure on the island Ace was like “yeah I did ur coming with me right” then Deuce goes off on a whole internal tangent about how he will stay by Ace’s side. They also almost have a Ferris wheel date because Ace sees Deuce looking at the Sabaody Ferris wheel and when he finds out he’s never been on one they go on but this off duty marine girl ruins their date :(

It's that first mate devotion. It's the matching names. It's all the poetic waxing Deuce does when writing about Ace.

They are amazing and so underrated.

Propaganda for Usopp x Kaya:

When we first meet them and see them interact they just act so sweet. There's also a chapter in one of the novels where a guy interested in Kaya asks the old Usopp pirates "what kind of guy does she like?" And all 3 reply "Captain Usopp." Which I think is very cute!

He wanted her to laugh! Help her when she lost her parents because he knew exactly what it felt like! He helped her get better! And she was so heartbroken when it seemed like he was lying to her about Klahadore! Then she was more heartbroken when it turned out he'd told her the truth!

They will also be endgame trust me.

The ship that I would put money on becoming canon at the end of the series. It's very romantic how Usopp would come to see her every day, and how they are both still thinking of each other after so much time apart.

#one piece #deuace #usokaya #op shipping war #tournament poll #round 2 #side A #I just had a major deja-vu when setting up the pics 😂#UsoKaya was up against Ace/Isuka last round and they had practically the same pic as DeuAce

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boxwinebaddie · 8 months

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nina!!!! what are stan and kyles fav foods

OOOOOOOOH!!!!! BESTIE!!!!! okay, i do not have a ~concrete answer~ what i do have, however, is vibes!

stan...is a garbage disposal. pep canon stan will eat anything. like vodka in a puddle on the sidewalk....for five dollars...stan will lick that shit clean...ONCE ATE A DECORATE SOAP...i'm embarrassed. like my canon was that the only thing he doesn't really fuck that heavy with is overly sugary sweet things...but that's what kyle is for baby!!!!!

stan is a taco bell king...stan + taco bell but like mostly because he can have a drink that has 32740937409324 cubes of ice in it and ten diablo sauces on his black bean crunch wrap supreme. my man likes his drinks cold and his food and his men Red Hot...i said what i said.

( also sobo mimi used to make him little inari sushis w a little cucumber and a lot of wasabi in them and it was his favorite snack and with her gone its really hard for him to eat them to this day...ALSO COLLEGE STYLE BUT STAN TOTALLY MAKES KYLE BENTO BOXES WHEN HE GOES TO HIS LECTURES YES THEY ARE CUTE AND EVERYTHING IS IN SHAPES HELP pep!stan is so crunchy bbg sbf house husband stan and i luv him)

like he likes his food not just a little spicy but like...concerningly spicy like i had an hc that he used to like drink sriracha out of the bottle an got a fucking stomach ulcer its THAT serious. in my brain its like a really spicy chickpea indian curry or like pad thai with like 274309243092740924 birds eye chilis in it like its SCARY!!!!! it has to be accompanied with a mango lassi or Ky Tea...it has to be ice mofucking cold.

( also if they put stan on Hot Ones he would decimate like honestly raven!stan was definitely on Hot Ones and fucked it up )

i had a stan hc that in sp they opened a ramen restaurant called miso hungry and there was a spicy ramen challenge and if you win you and your friends get a lifetime of free ramen and kenny grabbed him by the shoulders kissed him on forehead and was like baby boy....u know what u have to do....and rocky trained him to beat the Big Scary Ramen and it was an Event it was the olympics, everyone was screaming and crying, and it was close but he did it....HEROIC ( also he came back in college and is on the sake bomb hall of fame ) kyle was half horrified half like why is this kind of sexc to me...also stan gave him the gigantic ramen plushie he got for winning...style world domination

my answer: idk but its probably spicy and not white amen

SPEAKING OF SPICY AND WHITE THO HI KYLE!!!! sdkhlksahdakd who cannot have spicy food im in pain...i also have nothing to go off of but kyle just....hes spicy enough ok. he has a sweet tooth. he has a chili flake and throws up its so...listen also so many textures bother him

for kyle like if is supposed to be soft it has to be soft if its supposed to be crunchy it has to be crunchy it cannot be in between it will literally repulse him if its in the middle like stan has to eat any french fry that is not specifically crunchy enough and stan gives kyle all his really crunchy french fries bc they are in love

( ALSO!!!! STAN ALWAYS GIVES KYLE THE MARACHINO CHERRY IN HIS MILKSHAKE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS THEY ARE IN LOOOOOVE YOUR HONOR!!!!! even before they’re dating i swear just to be an ahole for shits and giggles sometimes stan pretends like he’s not gonna give it to kyle and is like Sigh ok who wants my maraschino cherry? and marj kenny and Cartman are all trying to hunger games!!! for it ready to KILL each other and kyle doesn’t want to ask and stan is like just kidding Idiots here u go kyle <3 yes it did make kyle twirl his hair and kick his feet istg they’ve been dating their whole lives and just called it being super best friends bc the super implies they are dating smh )

also i feel like stan likes an oreo milkshake and kyle probbaly plays it safe and likes strawberry or vanilla ONE TIME HE GOT A NEOPOLITIAN SHAKE AND STAN WAS LIKE ARE YOU SURE ARE U SURE UR TASTEBUDS CAN HANDLE THAT KYLE!!!!!!! and kyle was like bitch shut the fuck up!!!

the answer is no they couldnt and stan drank it it was overstimulating i am crying kyle was like what the fuck i can’t tell where the chocolate ends and the strawberry begins this is so horrible and stan was just like…aw there there its ok there is a lot going on ilyshsjskks )

kyle favorite food uhhhhhh...like savory wise...as a boy he is giving me so much girl dinner like Butter Pasta With Some Parm and Salt energy....WHICH IS A GOOD ANSWER ITS DELICIOUS ( i do also think he could rock on like a spaghetti and meatballs/pasta Bolognese/chicken alfredo moment i think kyle likes pasta )

aw i had an hc that kyle just like does not eat when hes in hw mode and has no appetite and it freaks stan out and hes like bro ill pick u up something do u want anything and hes like no sorry studying gtg so sometimes stan makes him like....the butter toast sugar cinnamon special and leaves it on his desk bc it is crunchy and sweet and easy for him to eat awww ( stan also leaves him post it notes w cute lame cheesy messages on them and kyle decorates his desk with them and looks at them when he needs study motivation :’> )

his favorite drink is a fresca obvi ( also the arcade that stan and kyle love has a large selection of sodas its a soda bar and every week they get a new international soda shipment and it makes kyle soooo excited hsfkdf stan b taking kyle to get a weird soda and some chicken strips often theyre in love )

i feel like he fucks with so many desserts like he feels very gigantic banana split coded to me or like the biggest brownie ala mode u have ever seen baby!!!! other than that chocolate babka night is canonically kyles fav night of the year and i feel like he could also rock on a kugel moment like specifically a sheila comfort food ( she is crazy but he loves her so bad )

THANK U FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK

#i have no idea what this is i got so excited tho #anyways stans favorite food is anything spicy probably curry or pad thai or something like he DRINKS sriracha #the baja blast with double ice is still his favorite drink tho spiked with vodka specifically rip #kyle likes pasta i do really think its a comfort food butter pasta salt parm moment but it could be any pasta #fresca ofc but dessert wise i think its a big ass banana split or whatever giant applebees diner dessert u can get is #or its chocolate babka which is real #idk i feel like kyle just openly likes diner food bc its easy and consistent and as time goes on repairs his relationship w food #starts making tiktok recipes #also canon kyle fav icecream is cherry garcia and stans is mint chip #amen #style world domination #i could go on and on and on

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katasstrophy · 1 year

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which guy in bllk (tumblr link btw) (my money is on the itoshi bros)

NONNIE THE WAY YOU MADE ME LET OUT THE MOST UNATTRACTIVE SNORT IN PUBLIC THERE ARE ACTUAL TEARS IN MY EYES thank you for blessing me with this most important piece of knowledge 🙏🙏🙏

out of the itoshi bros my money is a hundred thousand precent on rin are you kidding this man is wholly made out spite and just the right amount of pettiness 😩🤚 he’s fluent in english so i feel like he wouldn’t have any trouble picking up on all the swears other teams aim at him unlike his dumbass teammates LMFAO and then like the little shit he is he bides his time until he has an arsenal of curse words memorized in like 47 different languages just for the sake of throwing it back at those who “wronged him” PLS HE’S SO DRAMATIC i love him

for sae…. hmmm🤔 i’d love to jump on the bandwagon that he learned spanish due to all the years he was abroad but it’s LITERALLY CANON LIKE,,,, SAE SAID SO HIMSELF THAT his greatest weakness is that he doesn’t know anything besides football and that is simply comedy gold i CANNOT IGNORE!!!! everyone views him as japan’s greatest treasure - this cool and aloof soccer prodigy worth an incomprehensible amount of money but in reality he takes taxis everywhere bc he doesn’t have a drivers license and has to pay his dietitian extra to prepare his meals bc at 23 years of age he still doesn’t know how to boil a pot of rice iM CACKLING. learning a whole ass different language???? forGET ABOUT IT never gonna happen. (i also feel like he just… wouldn’t care enough?? to “waste his time” doing smth like that yk? but you bet ur ass he’s cussing up a storm behind his deadpan face if ur annoying him LOL)

some honorable mentions!!!

shidou - he sticks to cursing in japanese but he looks so dead serious and terrifying getting all up in people’s faces it’s all the rival teams can do not to go home bawling their eyes out this man is FERAL!!!! there’s a whole twitter account with a 120k+ following dedicated to ‘candids of shidou ryusei verbally attacking people’ and it’s entirely made up of players looking like they’re about to shit their pants.

reo - of fucking course the resident billionaire nepotism baby grew up learning all the fancy rich languages. he’s usually very composed on the field, but when someone pisses him off real bad he just casually drops the nastiest string of words you’ve ever heard in your life under his breath then walks away as if nothing happened 😇 his opponents are flabbergasted - a perfect depiction of the surprised pikachu meme - wondering if that actually happened or they’re just having a fever dream (it’s always the first)

karasu and otoya - they’re the idiot duo with two collective braincells you cannot convince me otherwise I LOVE TJEM SM. otoya was full on cheering on shidou and rin while they were having a fist fight ofc he’d be down to learn cuss words in different languages to terrorize other players FOOUUUL karasu needs zero convincing he’s a menace. only problem is that they use GOOGLE TRANSLATE as their super reliable source and bc they think they can do no wrong they don’t even make the app sound out the words for them they just roll with their own pronunciation. they’re swearing on the field with their whole chest puffed out entirely too proud of themselves meanwhile the other players are so confused like??? are they having a stroke help???

#you can tell im totally normal about them and dont think about them at all 24/7 bc i totally just didn’t write you an essay haha (help)#im consumed SORRY FOR THE RANT ANON BUT THIS WAS JUST SO FUNNY DKSHSBDBXBXK #also godDAMN who is that man and why is he so fine #who let him be that sexy??? about to stalk the shit outta him on god #op of that post was right cancel the world cup he ate he won give him a medal #—ping! message from: (anon)#—bllk.thoughts!#blue lock

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medievill · 1 year

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I love that the comments on my blackbonnet fic are always like “omg I love these idiots they’re so in love ur honor” and my Jackbeard fic comments are like

#ilu Jack enjoyers #bless ur ferality #that’s probably not a word and I don’t care #ofmd #our flag means death #jackbeard #calico jack #edward teach #ed teach #blackbeard #ao3 fic #ofmd fanfic #he’s bad but he does it so well #carve my name in your bedpost

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mg-dango · 2 months

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Do you want to take a moment to be infodumped about my TF2 OC? (pls say yes)👉👈

YOOOOO Hi I’m not dead (yet)

College’s been eating me alive with homework, which hasn't allowed me to finish a single drawing or play video-games, not even sleep more than 4 hours haha (send help/j)

HOWEVER- However, I recently got an hyperfixation on TF2 and oh lord I love it, I could talk about it all day. I´ve been reading fanfiction, watching gameplays and SFM videos on youtube. I don't how could I've missed this fandom before iT’S CRAZY-

And like everytime I get so engaged on a fandom, I try to self-insert me with art, and then like everytime I try to self-insert me everytime, it fails miserably because the mf fictional interpretations of me start growing their own characteristics, differences and personalities and when I less expect it- BOOM, they´re a totally new OC with little to no hints of me in them.

Sooo this is exactly how this OC I wanna present you today was born, usually I just wait until I have 2 or 3 drawings of them and then I present them with little to no explanation on social media, but since my current free time is not letting me do anything and I’ve been dying to infodump about them, I said “f-ck it we ball” and just straight up tell you guys what I have made of this new blorbo until now:

NOTE: Some of the things about this oc are a bit stereotypical about Japanese culture, I apologize and if something makes you feel uncomfortable/bothered about it, please let me know!

Like her name suggests, she is a chef, originary from Japan. The story I currently have for her now is that Miss Pauling temporally wanted to hire a cook to boost the morale on the base, and Chef enthusiastically took the job after being kicked out of cooking school, there was one problem tho

Chef only knows to cook one single thing and It’s sushi, like, if she tries making something else, that thing ends up transforming into some kind of sushi-like thing (Like sushi-getti, sushi-taco, even sushi-sandvich and sushi-cereal).

The team at one point gets sick of always eating sushi, but for some reason (I´m still thinking of the reason) they can't fire her from her new job so they just end up making her a new member of the team

Which is actually bananas because Chef comes from a family of ninjas (I´m still thinking on the lore of that too)

Also here's the thing, everyone on the team thinks that Chef is a man, she was about to correct them but instead she discovered she liked being referred also with masculine pronouns and being perceived as a man so instead she's just internally having an identity crisis figuring out her gender while keeping it a secret.

She's been trying to avoid medic for that same reason, she hasn't gotten her übercharge-thing surgery yet because then Medic would have to see her chest and her secret would spill out

(I actually doubt medic or any other member would mind having a woman on the team but still ohhh the drama)

She can throw smoke bombs that are made of wasabi, uses an Oroshi Hocho (A knife used to cut tuna) as a sword and can make a temporary clone of herself (I’m sorry if this sounds a bit like a Mary Sue I got too excited)

Chef is Aroace (‘Cause I'm aro and I wanted an aro oc to make me feel represented), she values A LOT friendships and platonic relationships.

She likes hanging out with scout bc she thinks he is simply goofy and hilarious and a funny idiot (ur honor they’re homies)

Annnd that's all I have of Chef for now, probably gonna be changing a lot of things the longer I draw her but uh, If you have come to this part and took the bother to read all this infodumping, I wanna hug u virtually and say “thank u” I really appreciate you <3

#original character #oc wip #oc lore #team fortress 2 #team fortress 2 oc #tf2 #tf2 oc #oc infodump #my art

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only-angel-28 · 8 months

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Okay I’m finally here! I wanted so badly to read it when you posted but I was so freaking tired I crashed 😭 But I’m here with another rant/essay of thoughts and emotions haha I feel like with every chapter I write more and more 😂

Getting a glimpse into Conrad’s head in any fic itches my brain nicely, idk I just love him?? Anywho, the way you write his like emotions and his anger/frustration? I’m here for it, he deserves to be a little upset instead of just shutting himself down to protect himself 🥺🖤 BUT him tracking Dean down and punching him before the ass can even get a word in?! Yes!! Thank you omg, protector Conrad getting his emotions out AND making sure Dean knows he’s not welcome anymore? no and then he comes home and tucks us in??? After beating a guy up?? God I’m feral for him I need therapy 😂

Him and his moms? (Bc lbr Susannah x Laurel is the real otp here 😭🖤) I tear up every time Susannah’s cancer gets brought up bc of personal stuffs so like Conrad crying on her and letting himself feel bc he didn’t mean to hurt us while his mom was sick?? My eyes were sweating I wanna give him cuddles and back rubs and forehead kisses 🥺😭🖤🖤

Steven would be that person tho “oh don’t worry I watched the cooking channel I can do this!” And then fucks it all to hell 😂 I love him, I feel like Steven and I would be those besties that are complete idiots together because we share half a braincell 😂

And Connie calling us my girl?!?! AND baby?!! That shit gives me butterflies omg 😭😭 im so lonely lmfao ahh the whole living room scene has me in a choke hold I love him, just ahhhhh the domesticity of caring for your lover after he beats someone up for you 🥺🖤

The almost kiss on the beach had me swooning too 😭 Fucking Steven and cockblocking us 😂😂

MATCHING TATTOOS AHHH 😩😩

No but who tf does Thérèse think she is???? “Sorry I stole your bf I was jealous but I ended things with him” like good for you but stay away lmao like that trust would be so damaged!!! Thérèse and Dean really do deserve each other 😤😤

Okay but us hitting Dean? And just being a feral cat about him not shutting up? Yes please?! Couples who beat shitty exes up together are top tier 😂 (I know we’re not a couple yet but in my heart Conrad’s already my husband 😂🖤) AND AGAIN the of checking over each others wounds?!!! I love them, your honor. 🖤🖤

Okay but Connie immediately wanting to take off and beat the shit out of Dean, while the love of his life’s injured??? But his tunnel vision is just like “gotta kill this guy”?? Like you idiot I don’t want Jere to take me to the hospital I want the person that makes me feel safe there 😭😭😭

Overall I love how theres a bunch of little moments showing how we love each other but it doesn’t feel forced or too fast? Like obviously Conrad and her just wanna kiss (damn you Steven) but also they’re comfortable just existing together too because they both know they care?? Does that make sense? Is that even what you were going for? Idk but that’s how I’m feeling it rn, maybe it’s just my craving for love that’s reading in too deep 😂😂

AHHH 😭 Anyway thank you again for another glorious chapter, I love it, I adore you, and I’m so so excited for more! I can’t wait to see the moms reactions to their tattoos (and for getting into a fight and getting injured 💀😂) and just for more shenanigans in general with everyone 🖤🖤😭

oh. my gosh. STOP I LOVE THESE COMMENT THINGYS SM THEYRE SO FUN.

ok so i totally agree, dean is a RAT he deserves whatever happens to him ik i wrote the damn thing but i stand w it🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

no but fr someone needed to humble dean and thérèse both like they’re so annoying. i didn’t want thérèse to have a giant monologue just explaining why she did what she did bc honestly people like that don’t rly say all that much irl, they’re just looking for ways to get back in ur life and mess it up again tbh and she was just annoying too like

and i mean i didn’t wanna say it myself but yes the main characters here ARE susannah and laurel, glad we cleared that up. they’re literally so cutesy and wonderful i love them sm

STEVENS SO FUNNY STOP- hes literally hilarious i love him sm

no honestly i love the living room scene too it’s so cutesy and domestic i thought those two needed a tiny little cute relaxed moment before it all went down tbh💀💀

and i agree, if someone called me baby??????????

🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

that’s all i have to say. next question.

no everytime i write an almost kiss im literally on the edge of my seat as well like should i make them kiss or should i wait🤨🤨

REAL. we’re not officially w conrad yet but we bascially are married w two dogs and an adopted son (steven) so we don’t even need to go through the formalities anymore

no fr like ily conrad but now is not the time, you better get in that car and drive to the hospital.

YESS IT DOES MAKE SENSE IM SO GLAD YOU NOTICED!!!! i didn’t want to make this one too like fast paced or too like oh everyone gets what they want happily ever after like i feel like you don’t need to be constantly making out or talking w someone you care about, even just spending some time w them is more than enough like just having these tiny cute little moments is so lovely

YESS IM SO EXICTED TO WRITE MORE ON THIS ONE sadly i don’t think i can post another part until like friday night / the weekend bc schooo started again today (kms) and it’s gcse year (double kms) but im so happy you like it, i love love love these conment things so much you have no idea🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

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beansinmycereal · 3 years

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why did i genuinely laugh at dreams dumb sykkuno joke

#they’re idiots #besties ur honor #karlwastaken #karl jacobs #dreamwastaken #sykkuno #tinakitten #emma langevin

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colliewolfdraws · 2 years

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Id love to hear ur hcs on how Paul, Patryck, and Tord met!!!

Ok so bare with me this one gets kinda long.

It all starts with Tord. He’s going on adventures with his friends yeah but like. He goes out to town too, he has a job and adventures isn’t chill hang outs with the boys so they do that sometimes. But over time Tord starts noticing this guy just. Appearing everywhere. Like no matter where the group is he spots him at least once if not more.

Imagine you’re paul for 2 seconds. You have like. 5 different jobs to help out your family (yes this is a hc I have). You basically have no free time but when you do. These four idiots are always there. Ok well they aren’t idiots but it amazes you they aren’t dead. Paul is sleep deprived and seems fairly lonely to Tord, so one day he approaches him (he’s alone, he wouldn’t abandon his hangouts) and they strike up a conversation. Turns out they like each other! They joke about the shit Tords gotten into, Paul tells stories of his work, etc. they exchange numbers and actually keep in touch!

The robot was never like. A weapon for war originally, it was just something Tord was building out of pure boredom between adventures tbh. So when he moves out and leaves his robot it’s not that big a deal.

At first it was just to make it in the big city! He’s a creative person with the talents to back up that success, but in the end he just kinda. Doesn’t. So like his friends before him, Tord thinks of something he could do fairly easily if he wanted to.

He’s going to take over the WORLD.

But to do that he needs help, hed call his other friends but eh, they’re probably busy. (IM ALSO OF THE BELIEF THAT TBH. THE OTHER THREE WOULD HELP TORD TAKE OVER THE WORLD NGL. Both matt and edd have either actually done it or made plans to do it dont @ me) So instead he goes to his second choice, Paul.

Paul was chosen for 2 reasons

God his poor friend needs a fucking break

He’s already a trained military professional

It takes some convincing, and of course he’s not gonna be fully committed for a while, but hell. It’s better than being a wage slave.

The main issue is they can’t really start an army of two people. So Paul calls up his friend!

Paul and Patryck have been friends since highschool, they’re best friends your honor, and when Paul tells him about the newest thing he’s apart of Patryck just shrugs and goes Why Not.

Tord was delighted to hear he was a pilot, that was his first profession! But he found out preeetty quickly he doesnt really like any co-pilots in the area.

A few meetings over coffee squeezed in between Paul’s hell of a work schedule and they finally agreed on everything.

They were the Red Army, they were going to take over the world, and the first step after supplying a budget for their cause would be to have Tord fetch his giant robot.

#eddsworld #red army #ew paul #ew Tord #ew patryck #infodump #long post #anonymous

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tennessoui · 2 years

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In one of the earlier couples counseling au posts, you mention the counselor asking about Anakin calling Obi-Wan master, and how authority issues affect him and going “I’m sorry, being taken advantage of by a different older man”. So — how DOES the counselor feel about their age difference and other Totally Fine power dynamics? Is she like “ok it’s not my job to tell people who to have relationships with” or does she scope it out and then go “oh okay it’s fine ur honor they’re both idiots”

Oo I feel like she sits them down during the first session and she’s like “so I read your intake papers and the problems you’ve been having and the things you’ve written about your past history as…teacher and student. And I just want to begin by saying that I believe almost any relationship can become a health relationship with honest communication and genuine love. So my question to you is: do you genuinely love your partner?”

and obi-wan and anakin splutter and look everywhere but at each other because this is the equivalent of being thrown in the deep end, they thought they’d build up to this sort of thing, but then they both admit that they DO love each other

And the counselor is like “very good. Good job guys. Amazing work. Now to get into the actual session…”

And they’re both like “??? There’s MORE??? can’t we take a break after that emotional labor we just went through???”

#asks #couples counseling au #she’s like oh stars I have my work cut out for me #but anyway no I think it would #be most accurate to state that she doesn’t have opinions of the age difference/power dynamics REALLLYY #but she thinks they both have separate issues about it that she plans to work through with them

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onepiece-polls · 9 months

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One Piece Shipping War - Round 1 Side A

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Deuce x Ace:

Have you read the novels? They’re gay your honor.

The classic captain/first mate combo. They even have matching names! Also if you have read “Ace’s Story” it’s clear how affectionately Deuce views Ace. ☀️

Stranded idiots to friends to lovers

They are very cute together!!!!

Novel A is the propaganda, they're so gay for each other. Deuce talks about how lucky he is to be dedicating his life to Ace and Ace calls Deuce the treasure he found on Sixis.

It's that first mate devotion. It's the matching names. It's all the poetic waxing Deuce does when writing about Ace.

They are amazing and so underrated.

Propaganda for Kuzan x Smoker:

The "I'm still me" moment at the end of Punk hazard was so soft to me.

Insane people don’t ship them more after Kuzan saved Smoker from Doflamingo like a knight in shining armor.

#one piece #deuace #smoker one piece #kuzan one piece #aokiji #op shipping war #portgas d ace #masked deuce #round 1 #side A #tournament poll

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scandalsavagefanfic · 3 years

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Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is.

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative.

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency.

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him.

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine.

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

#Batman #red hood #batman: urban legends #nice art #shit story #or at least shit characterization #jason todd deserves better #this response got long and I didn't edit it #please forgive any errors #and/or unclear spots #spoilers

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