#they aren’t even in his way
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sorry to be cliché but i really hate men sometimes :/
#like getting this sentiment from men i meet throughout my life (understandable)#from my dad (checks out )#but from my little (lol) brothers? (fucked)#it’s a phase they r going thru puberty ~#fuck that bc when i was in my angsty phase (and tbh im kinda in it rn bc having been a pleasure to have in class made me a late bloomer)#i was NAWT saying slurs and saying swear words so openly and comfortably#like my other brother threw my glasses on the table after he picked them up to ask what they were doing there#and i told him to leave them there bc HONESTLY#they aren’t even in his way#and they were set on a lamp bought for ME#like damn dude why don’t u punch a hole in the wall while u r at it#they are being misogynistic in such a cliché boring way#and to top it off#they r grind ass kissers#like if still choose to believe in working ur way into wealth fine but leave me along abt my job status that’s MY problem#why don’t u pick a major 🙄#but if i were to say that id be given a bitch glare#at this point im getting a job to spend less time at home#🎟️
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Something other about his eyes
Bonus! Based on this quick thing I did this afternoon and the idea took a bit more shape and turned into that thing from above uEK
#not too much effort on the colors with this one#o would’ve left it just with lineart but at the end I thought it would look nicer with some rough shadows#shadowing. you know what I meant.#his plant markings being extremely faint on his eyes when they aren’t glowing is very true to me also#I think itd be awesome if Vash’s eyes would just look like that when he isn’t masking#or they could be a bit more lax but still look like they are staring far far away into the void#or into your souls if you so happen to make eye contact with him. like woowoo over here#he is probably listening for one of his sisters who is not so close to him. maybe even Kni? who knows it’s up to interpretation#Vash’s hair can be such a nightmare also. I do not think of physics when drawing him whatsoever#I give him the Mickey Mouse ears treatment sometimes and some other I actually respect the fact that his hair will always be swept#to the right. if you haven’t noticed that yet. I think it’s way more noticeable on the 2d art#which is a nice touch! considering that’s the direction I’m which his haircut was when they were kids. isn’t that fun#anyways weird Vash for me once again and I’ll share a little with you. ah I’ll get to the requests later btw!#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#vashwood#trigun fanart#vash#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#lenssi draws#vash saverem#ah extra note. this is meant to be pre plant revelation. I think Vash would already know about what WW is there for since very early on#but about the plant thing he was still a little doubtful since he wouldn’t think Kni would disclose that information so easily.#so seeing that Nick has a very keen eye and is very observant kind of ticks him off even though he is just the same. so maybe that’s why#it ticks him in the first place. headcanons everywhere in this household
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when i said i wanted to understand whatever’s going on in ivan’s head, i didn’t mean like this 😭😭
#alnst ivan#alnst till#ivantill#alien stage#ooooh boy turns out ivan’s self esteem is pretty low in terms of love#makes total sense but it’s not what i expected from someone who looked so in control of what he wanted and was willing to pursue from till#he loves humbly which was my first intepretation of him before we even got round 3#it’s changed since then with more (mis)information leaked by vivinos to misdirect our understanding of him#so to get this clear dialogue of his final thoughts is really… clarifying#and terribly sad in a way#ivan loves till so much and is entirely aware that he hasn’t been the most gentle of suitors#god i have many thoughts about this#ahhh ivan baby your feelings aren’t shallow at all
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20.12.23, wednesday
My main hobby is just procrastinating in any way I can. The plan was to make a cup of coffee and then start working. What actually happened is that I watched a 3 part video series (by james hoffmann ofc) on Aeropress coffee and made a few cups with different variables. Still not sure if I found The Recipe for me, but it’s getting better (tho I don’t love the coffee beans I have)
#altho i’m not sure I agree that inverted method is not worth the risks#maybe I just pour my water in too slow (bc I get nervous abt pouring too much) but there’s a fair bit of liquid that manages to get through#before I can place the vacuum on there#so I did it with inverted method#what I took from his recipe was the swirling instead of stirring and letting it rest for 30secs after to get a more even bed of coffee#I did 14g of coffee & 200g of water with a 5min brew -> swirl -> another 30seconds of letting it rest before pressing gentlyy for like 20-3#seconds#but idk it’s a bit ’’one note’’#which could be the beans#I have medium roast rn and I prefer light roast but the light roast beans have been no where to be found lately idk why#(there aren’t many actual light roast beans and the other ones are waay out of my budget)#(or at least good ones; there’s the one affordable light roast that’s everywhere but I don’t like it that much (but tbf should’ve still#bought that instead of these ones I got))#like this is still way better than what the drip coffee of those beans are#and the achilles heel is that I don’t have a thermometer of any kind so my water temperature is guesswork every time#so tweaking variables is always a bit sketchy bc idk if I just had a better water temperature that time#studyblr#booklr#aesthetic#bookblr#books#study#reading#read#book#coffee#2023#december 2023
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[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]
Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.
And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.
Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#the prison dimension is horrifying on its own#add in a monstrous being that towers over you and has vowed to ensure your suffering?#god I can’t imagine how scary that is#Mikey opening the portal was a miracle because if he hadn’t managed it there#it’s really up in the air what could have become of Leo#personally I subscribe by the theory that you straight up can’t die in the prison dimension#so it’s a prison in all ways#but the thought of a Leo who manages anyway who adapts and continues to have hope despite it all…#Leo saying he’s nothing without his family is a double edged sword really#because the thought of his family alone is all he needs to live. to hope.#to smile#nothing without them…but they’re EVERYTHING to him#and maybe he doesn’t realize it but…the feeling is mutual#one thing too is that hope that comforts Leo so much is not just that#should he think his family needs help - that hope can turn into determination#I’m unwell about this family#actually on my point of their powers - I truly do think the abilities tie in not only to their personalities#but to their relationship to family and love in general#kinda like love languages in a way#Mikey with his chains and time abilities values being around his family the most - he wants them to experience living in the moment togethe#Donnie is someone who is 100% a gift giver to show his love - his constructs are exactly that aren’t they? gifts of his mind#Raph is someone who willingly bears the weight of the shield - he protects his family like the best big brother possible#and Leo - he goes off on his own a lot but his mind is constantly on his family anyway#like a sailor at sea no matter how far he travels the compass always point in one direction - and for him that compass points home#even if he can’t make it back - it’s still there#and that’s enough
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this is all i got
#Tiny side ramble in the tags its what i do best#in the interview they mention charlie feeling way more like developed in s2 and I. if that’s really true iM SOOO happy and somehow#even more excited for it bc of that Because ive mentioned this before obviously ive always liked charlie#but like. im unable to really get into him the way i can do with pim. like there’s nearly Nothing about him that tells me anything about hi#character which AGAIN IVE SAID. IK THATS THE POINT and ur not even like. these aren’t even like designed to be blorbo type characters so-#-who cares BUT LIKE. I STILL WANT TO LIKE HIM AS MUCH AS I LIKE PIM YA KNOW#well not As much. he could never compare to pim in my personal mind#but yknow what imean. so im happy that probably means we’re getting more of him kinda in s2#Aauauuaau so excited#Also i still hate drawing him#never wont#smiling friends#pim pimling#charlie dompler#Dumb name … stupid guy…#💝#charpim is soo scary to actually tag like woah guys who said anything about all that.. hey now#odieart
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the gorgug-porter conversation is interesting to me because like. yea for the overwhelming majority of the conversation porter’s being shitty & trying to fit gorgug into a box that gorgug just does not fit into by trying to make gorgug’s relationship with his rage more focused on the aggression aspect of it. but then there’s also this specific thing that brennan brought up again in the ap, which is that gorgug’s relationship with his rage is wholly “this is a tool i use to protect my friends.” which isn’t a bad thing! but that’s his Whole relationship with it, & gorgug seems to place next to no value on his rage in relationship to himself. which is problematic, because it’s first & foremost his rage.
being raised in a household with a sort of toxic positivity largely meant that, whether or not it was his parents’ intention, gorgug internalized the message that more traditionally “negative” emotions such as anger are the wrong response to something. part of the reason he prioritizes his artificing is probably because it’s “fixing” things. in comparison to being a barbarian, which gorgug associates with “breaking” things. good vs. bad behavior, in his eyes.
it’s a totally unacceptable bar to measure a 16 y/o by, but i do think part of porter’s reasoning for not letting gorgug multiclass is him recognizing that gorgug generally does not value anger as a valid emotional response to something, at the very least for himself. & that directly conflicts with what being a barbarian is, because whether you like it or not, that rage is what fuels you. but again, barring a kid from pursuing something they deeply care about in part (not entirely, porter has a lot of more bullshit reasons) because of their fundamental values & world outlook is crazy.
so yes, 98% of porter’s reasoning is pretty shitty, immature, rife with a toxic view that there’s only one proper way to access rage, & generally not a good thing to do as a teacher, but also within that reasoning is the 2% of ‘there is a fundamental part of yourself that you only value if you can use it to take care of other people & you need to accept that as something that can take care of you, too.’ but that’s something to discuss with a therapist or a guidance counselor, not something that should hugely impact gorgug’s academic future.
#gorgug thistlespring#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#btw these r just my personal opinions u r 100% free to disagree#gorgug & his rage interest me so deeply because of how deeply that rage existing seems to be against gorgug’s own will#like mechanically classes are choices & you can switch stuff around any time. but gorgug as a barbarian always felt like an unwilling choice#like that 14 y/o kid did not want to have rage. & that really interests me.#i’ve seen people before be like ‘what if gorgug dropped barbarian & went full srtificer’ but i feel like that simply can’t happen??#mechanically yea sure but it always felt like a core part of gorgug that the rage will always be there & it’s a matter of how you channel it#idk. dnd classes narratively being treated as ‘you can not lose this part of you’ even though you technically can#gorgug could be lvl 19 artificer & he’d still have 1 level of barbarian. because that is part of who he is.#btw i don’t think porter truly cares about gorgug valuing his rage only as a way to be a human shield#i think porter just sees that as ‘wrong’ but like. not as in ‘you need to take care of yourself’ & more ‘you aren’t conforming’#he thinks it’s wrong for the wrong reasons. the nastier ‘this is how you should be’ reasons#ppl being like ‘we r being too hard on porter. it’s an 150% courseload gorgug will be overwhelmed’ i think r missing the point bc like.#that is 100% a valid reason to not approve gorgug for multiclassing! but that’s also 100% not the reason porter rejected him.#that whole interaction was basically porter shoving his percieved version of conformity down gorgug’s throat. was v neurodivergent kid coded#no hate to anyone saying that last point btw these r all just opinions#thinking about last ep wilma & digby being like ‘you’re a great barbarian. you’re so great at it. but look at what you made!!!’ like.#they would never mean it like that. but when you only understand half of your son he is going to prioritize the half you do.
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all the critiques of the “male presenting” bit in the star beast are valid and true (patronizing, kind of bioessentialist, etc) however i think we’ve been ignoring the funniest part of the whole thing which is like. he was a woman like three hours ago. you don’t need to give him a lecture about What Women Are Like. he knows. and even when he was a woman he still bottled shit up so your argument is moot anyway
#and like i know that rtd was making a very conscious effort to use inclusive language in the ep#which i appreciate!! congrats on Baby’s First Trans Allyship!!#but the way they phrased it as ‘male-PRESENTING’ people don’t know how to express their emotions was. weird#i mean if rtd went out of his way to include ‘presenting’ in there then he’s clearly at least somewhat aware that presentation and gender#aren’t the same thing#i’m fairly male-presenting (at least i try to be) but i’m not a man?#lots of butches could be considered male-presenting (oversimplification but you know what i mean)#there was probably even a time in rose’s life when SHE was male-presenting!!#i appreciate the attempt at inclusivity but like. this doesn’t make sense rtd aldjdbaqldk#bucky’s thoughts#doctor who#the star beast#tenth doctor#fourteenth doctor#tentoo#donna noble#rose noble
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Lucas On The Line // “For instance, the clothes she's been wearing lately have been... unusual. Old and oversize, and not in a good way. They remind me of Will's clothes, how he was always wearing something of Jonathan's, or even Mrs. Byers's.”
#billy hargrove#max mayfield#max wearing billy’s clothes#the same way will does with his brother#with his MOM#i wanna die actually#‘or even mrs byers’s’#nothing but pain#+ words#billy being forced into not only the big brother role but also the parental role#something about max seeing him as a parental figure#their relationship is so complicated and people who hate billy aren’t allowed to speak on it because they simply do not get it#it’s more complicated than just hating or loving one another#something about max finding comfort in billy even though he tried to distance himself emotionally for neil related reasons#i hate it here i hate it here#that sweater and that shirt were most definitely billy’s like there’s no other explanation#max keeping his brown leather jacket in her closet and not wearing it because it still smells like him and she doesn’t want that to go#max realising his cologne is starting to wear off the clothes she is wearing but not wanting to use up his cologne#to make them smell like him again so she just has to have a moment about it#:(
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arctic monkeys and every time the word ‘love’ is mentioned
whatever people say I am that’s what I’m not
tonight there’ll be some love, tonight there’ll be a ruckus yeah regardless of what’s gone before
~ view from the afternoon
oh there ain’t no love, no montagues or capulets
~ i bet you look good on the dancefloor
all that’s left is the proof that love’s not only blind but deaf… yeah I’d love to tell you all my problem
~ fake tales of san francisco
she makes a subtle proposition, I’m sorry love I’ll have to turn you down
~ when the sun goes down
lady, where has your love gone, i was looking but can’t find it anywhere, they always offer when there’s loads of love around but when you’re short of some it’s nowhere to be found
~ no buses
well how can you wake up with someone you don’t love and not feel slightly phased by it
~ leave before the lights come on
favourite worst nightmare
it’s wrong wrong wrong but we’ll do it anyway cause we love a bit of trouble
~ balaclava
and those dreams weren’t as daft as they seem, aren’t as daft as they seem my love
~ fluorescent adolescent
there’s room for the trouble and there’s lovers to be had
~ this house is a circus
it’d be a big mistake for you to wait and let me waste your time, really love it’s fine, I said really love it’s fine
~ the bad thing
old yellow bricks, love’s a risk… houdini love you don’t know what you’re running away from
~ old yellow bricks
another roll around and another push and shove, further away from the idea of love
~ da frame 2r
the more you keep on looking the more it’s hard to take, love we’re in stalemate… you’re slacking love where have you been
~ the bakery
am I too quick to assume that the love is no longer in bloom
~ too much to ask
humbug
i had a hole in the pocket of my favourite coat and my love dropped into the lining
~ i haven’t got my strange
suck it and see
i wanna feel your love brick by brick
~ brick by brick
do you still feel love is a laserquest or do you take it all more seriously… when I’m not being honest I pretend that you were just some lover
~ love is a laserquest
your love is like a studded leather headlock
~ suck it and see
jealousy in technicolour, fear by name, love by numbers… crushing up a bundle of love
~ that’s where you’re wrong
before she showed you how to shake love’s steady hand
~ the blonde o sonic shimmer trap
your love’s not what I need, so don’t give it to me
~ evil twin
am
it’s not like I’m falling in love I just want you to do me no good… the look of love, the rush of blood
~ no.1 party anthem
love buckles under the strain of those wild nights
~ mad sounds
I heard that you fell in love, or near enough
~ snap out of it
love like locked horns, love like dominoes… love like thunder, love like falling snow
~ electricity
I know you’re nothing like mine cause she’s walking on sunshine and your love would tear us apart
~ you’re so dark
tranquility base hotel and casino
love came in a bottle with a twist off cap, let’s all have a swig and do a hot lap… but it’s alright, cause you love me
~ star treatment
when true love takes a grip it leaves you without a choice
~ golden trunks
pattern language in the mood for love
~ the world’s first ever monster truck front flip
I wanna stay with you my love, the way some science fiction does
~ science fiction
the dawn won’t stop weighing a tonne, I’ve done some things that I shouldn’t have done, but I haven’t stopped loving you once
~ the ultracheese
the car
lights out on the wonder park, your saw toothed lover boy was quick off the mark
~ jet skis on the moat
put your heavy metal to the test, there might be half a love song in it all for you
~ mr schwartz
#arctic monkeys#alex turner#listen this was purely out of curiosity#there are so many poetic and imaginative ways in which alex describes love#i just wanted a tangible record of every time he just straight up uses the word#i was surprised that humbug only had one mention and even that was a b side but when i was making this i realised that it was such a#lyrically dense and innovative album and descriptions of love were more elaborate and straightforward#*less straightforward#(might make a separate post about that)#also found that the other albums were quite consistent except the car#i found it interesting that most of the songs aren’t actually about the same kind of love like the earlier albums were#the earlier ones use love as a nickname and portray the physical embodiment of being in love#and even in tbhc it describes this feeling despite there being slightly fewer mentions#but the car seems more like a goodbye album… not even about breaking up… just goodbye which is very….#there’s no room for love in amongst the melancholia and introspection#and makes me wonder about his relationship with love at the moment#it seems very disassociated and immaterial like he has no interest in spouting poetics about love like he did before#and i hope he can rebuild that relationship#i could probably say more but im not going to bc this is getting way too long#cheers if you actually read this whole fucking essay#i spent way too long on this if you cant tell
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“Separate the art from the artist” is what you say when you still find joy in art that was created by a person who has done something harmful, but their art isn’t directly tied to their actions as a person, so you find ways to privately enjoy it without directly supporting them. It is not something you say to make yourself feel better about directly financially supporting a person who admitted to physical domestic abuse (which is an actual literal crime that people go to jail for, not some kind of petty internet discourse that a notes app apology can fix) just because you can’t stand to let go of your favorite mediocre white boy.
A streamer is not the kind of artist you can separate from the art. Music is another thing but if you’re able to listen to a man sing about being a toxic partner while knowing what he’s done you may need to spend some time unpacking that. And if you’re one of the people who found comfort in using his content as a form of escapism before you knew about all of this, I’m sorry and I know this must be hard to come to terms with but that’s something you need to deal with in private and it’s not an excuse to continue giving a platform to an abuser.
Always believe victims and go support Shelby! She’s been my favorite Minecraft content creator for years and she’s amazing at what she does! Her YouTube and streaming content is great and I’m also a big fan of her work on Kollok 1991 and The Unleashed, which are TTRPG shows if that’s something you’re into! Kollok is a lot more gritty and definitely not PG (think Stranger Things but with more of a horror element) and the Unleashed is like a comic-book super heroes series that’s a little more similar vibes to her usual content. (Featuring an all LGBTQ+ cast and GMed by Aabria Iyengar!) The Unleashed is pretty short for a TTRPG series and a great place to start if you’ve never seen that kind of thing before!
#tw abuse#cw abuse#shubble#shelby shubble#not the kind of thing i usually talk about but I’ve seen too many people misusing that phrase and it simply must be said#the number of people who have said they don’t care what he’s done they’re still going to support him is disgusting#‘I went to therapy I’m better now’ is a shit apology and you all know it#are there ways to consume his music without directly supporting him?#definitely but the majority of people saying this aren’t intending on doing that#wilbur soot#I don’t even want to tag him but I know that’s where the people who need to be told this are
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Listen. I know we all have various opinions on this show. I know that some people will think Byler came out of left field, and maybe for some it will. But nothing—absolutely nothing—prepared me for someone saying “Honestly I never bought Mike & Will as best friends.”
Like??? Are seasons 1, 2 and 4 just a joke to you? Bestie, the one season they had where Mike didn’t spend the majority of it crawling out of his skin to either find, save, or get closer to Will was S3….and we had like 6 entire heart to hearts on a road trip through California sans his girlfriend in S4 fixing that. Will literally painted a whole ass scene of Mike leading their group of friends to give him as a welcome gift at the airport despite not even knowing if Mike wanted to be close friends with him still, and still holds what Mike did in all those seasons of crying, screaming & throwing up over him dear to HIS heart in spite their huge fight.
Even if you don’t think that’s romantic buildup (lmao), we’re really gonna need to work on your relational AND base media comprehension, because….what?
#even if Mike WAS heterosexual as they come…he still trusts Will over E V E R Y O N E and it shows#bro didn’t even confess to his girlfriend until Will told him to and you think Mike and Will aren’t close I can’t fathom it#I’m genuinely concerned for the people who watch this show and just#headcanon their way out of the show itself LMFAO#byler#stranger things#the me tag
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I think it’d be funny if Aaron met Peter and his friends (like MJ and Harry) after he starts mentoring Miles, and realizes that somehow he’s the most well-adjusted out of all them
Especially funnier if he’s the Prowler in that situation
#I don’t think I can articulate it#I guess like if Peter had a little hero group#and somehow the guy who’s a villain (probably on the way to switching over to being a hero for his nephew tho) is somehow the most adjusted#like the hero’s are not alright#Spiderman#spider man#spider-man#aaron davis#Peter Parker#I think the concept of Aaron just knowing Peter is so funny#and there could also be the angst of Peter seeing Uncle Ben in the way Aaron is with Miles#even if he doesn’t die#I don’t know why Aaron hasn’t taken off in the Spidey fandom like I thought he would’ve#like I mean he’s big in ITSV fandom#but I really thought after the movie people would still just add him to stuff#like adding him to fics that aren’t specifically ITSV fics if that makes sense#miles morales#the prowler#harry osborn#mary jane watson#MJ#mj watson
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romeo!! or rock….? idk he’s the ds guy. y’know
#my art#rock tumbling (sos)#romeo (ds)#bokumono#trying to make the way i draw romeo distinct from rock#romeo is more dog coded than rock#(dog ball antics)#hence he is softer#(i choose to believe this guy can’t surf even though leona has dialogue saying she wants to watch him surf)#he hangs around in the lobby to greet customers while louis is in the kitchen… it’s not labor….#i bet he’s just helping so he can hit on everyone who arrives from mineral town…#harvest moon#harvest moon ds#story of seasons#hmds cute#harvest moon ds cute#he still goes in the rock collection#here’s hoping for a ds remake that gives the characters more distinctions#romeo’s hair is long in the back and his necklace has a slightly different design#those are the only things that i can confidently say aren’t just due to the ds having a limited palette#rock (ds)#also subconsciously shells fanfic snuck into this drawing i think#by duritoswrites. very good hmds fic#‘never coloring another fucking sketchbook scribble using the markup tool ever again’ turns out to be a bald faced lie#cora just use ibis or something photos app keeps crashing#no#sorry all ds brainrot lately (brain on fire simulator)#brainrockt….#i tried to capture the vacancy behind his eyes. there’s nothing there#i’m sorry the saturation on my phone was goofed. i’m sorry everyone’s retinas
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Context on “Hikaru” straight from Mokmok Sensei!
Original tweet here
#hgsn#hikaru ga shinda natsu#the summer Hikaru died#tshd#not sure if this has made its way over here but#I really like that Sensei is kinda clearing things up#but it also makes me wonder what’s happened in the most recent chapters#volume four come soonerrrrrrrr#and as always I’m very intrigued to see where his relationship with Yoshiki goes from here#especially considering the feelings Yoshiki had for og Hikaru and the feelings ‘’Hikaru’’ has for Yoshiki (even if those aren’t romantic)
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Does anyone else think about breaking up with their self-ships? Like scenarios for when, how or why it might happen and for how long. Whether you remain friends or cut each other off completely, and if fate will bring you back together later?
#I’ve just been having a lot of thoughts about this lately#like breaking up with Bakugou because things aren’t working no matter how hard we try#conflicting work schedules paired with external factors trying to pull us apart#he thinks I’m safer— better without him#and there’s nothing that can change his mind#so we go our separate ways and it’s hard esp when we share the same friends#having to be together at gatherings when you’re not really together#and it hurts#maybe we both try other relationships but it’s not the same#and maybe it’s years until we rekindle#but somehow the love is still there and it’s just as strong#idk the falling in love again trope hits so hard I love it#like just knowing there’s no one else in this world for you?#and even though years have passed you still find each other
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