the way everyone is talking about Halloween cause it’s just a fun holiday to them. Well to ME it’s my chemical romance day

reviews of every movie i’ve seen in theaters lately, because this is what i do with my friday nights now. maybe spoilers or whatever if you care

-Elvis: i do genuinely believe austin butler made some faustian pact for an oscar because there’s no way that he managed to turn out a performance like that when his resume to that point consisted of supporting roles in Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure and Vanessa Hudgens’ Coachella appearances. anyway it was unfortunately good, bc Baz Luhrmann is the hollywood purveyor of grandiose spectacle and tragicomic fairy tales, and for that end chooses his source material very well. costume design was objectively perfect, because of course it was. staging a montage representing elvis’s hollywood years to an instrumental britney spears mashup before punctuating it with the sound of a gunshot and cronkite’s voice announcing the assassination of MLK is probably one of the most insane creative choices i’ve seen on a screen and shows that baz knew exactly what kind of story he wanted to tell. the unfortunate part is that baz is also a wildly wealthy white australian who, despite a well-intended effort, was extremely out of his depth in trying to portray the nuanced realities of race in mid century america as they pertained to Elvis Presley’s career, but this effort still led to objectively the best musical scenes in the movie. stan yola and go stream her album right now. 8/10

-Don’t Worry Darling: literally so much fun. Harry Styles didn’t quite sell the character for me thru most of it, until the ending sort of gave some justification for why he might have come across as less than wholly convincing—but tbh i doubt that was an intentional performance choice. his press conference soundbite about how DWD “feels like a movie” got rightfully clowned on but it’s actually like. the most apt assessment of it lmao. definitely sets you up to know there’s gonna be some big shocking final twist, and while idk how i feel about it, at least it kind of resolved my biggest issue throughout watching most of it which is the glaring fact that not a single person in this movie convincingly looks like they’re from the 1950s. everyone in the movie has a face that knows about texting and the costume design doesn’t help either, literally like an online brain poisoned person’s mental image of what 1950s suburbia looks like, so that works. messy plot that didn’t really know what to do with itself. nevertheless Miss Flo ate and left no crumbs, as the kids say. also the supposed controversy abt the behind-the-scenes drama was one of the first truly enjoyable entertainment news cycles in a good long while. not a great film but genuinely a great time. 7/10

SMILE: viscerally creepy at a few scenes but that’s rly all there is. freaky premise on the surface but overall not very good and didn’t have anything to say about its central theme of trauma that hasn’t already been said much more effectively by plenty of other, much better movies. 3/10

Pearl: slapped, went absolutely insane, spoke to the soul, talented brilliant amazing showstopping spectacular never the same un-afraid to reference or not reference etc etc. never seen X and don’t particularly care to bc there’s truly nothing i could ever imagine in any way adding to what that movie did for me. didn’t breathe once during mia goth’s entire 8 minute monologue, literally exited the theater feeling like that “girls with they ____” meme, in the best way. she named her murderous pet gator after Theda Bara. absolutely zero notes. 10000/10

Moonage Daydream: A good movie to go see with your mom, if your mom’s celebrity crush growing up was David Bowie. 9/10

when nothing’s said- fred weasley

masterlist

pair: fred weasley x slytherin!female!reader

summary: y/n has known the weasley twins since first year and wanted nothing more than to befriend the pair, but one of them wants nothing to do with her. never one to back down, she worms her way into their lives and captures the heart of fred, whether he likes it or not.

warnings: slight swearing, italics is memories

a/n: first hp fic!!! thank you for all the support on my marvel fics so far it means so much <333 i’m gonna start a taglist so message me if you want to be added! and specify if you want to be added to marvel, hp or both! also requests are open!

“wicked.” you heard the voices of fred and george weasley chant behind you. their voices still managed to boom over the loud chatter of zonko’s. they were looking at the new line of products that had been added to the shelves. you were in your last year at hogwarts and had been through your entire school career with the twins. however, you had a love-hate relationship with them.

being sorted into slytherin in your first year immediately made them dislike you, their deep rooted hatred for slytherins being the cause of that. you met on your first day, in the great hall before the sorting ceremony. you heard their murmurs about pranks and tricks they could play on each professor and a small smile crept on your face.

“oi! what you smiling at?” the one on the left asked, you later found out to be fred.

“i strongly suggest you don’t prank professor snape. that won’t turn out well on your behalf.” you replied. your parents were high up in the ministry of magic and were well respected individuals in the wizarding world. they had told you all about the professors at hogwarts and what to expect when you arrived.

“oh yeah? i don’t know about you fred, but i don’t think professor snape stands a chance against us.” the one on the right said, george, you now know.

“you’re absolutely right, george.”

“y/n y/l/n!” professor mcgonagall announced and you stepped up to the sorting hat.

“oh? a y/l/n? i remember your mother. you two are very similar. wow, i see. very cunning. very ambitious... slytherin!”

and that was all it took. that budding friendship, gone. it was more fred than george, well at least that’s what you seemed to notice. fred had a very sort fuse and could never seem to control his anger towards you, george seemed to tolarate you a little more.

you had many run ins with the them throughout your years in hogwarts, many of them to fred’s demise.

“hey george! you said you needed help with potions?” you called, jogging slightly to catch up with them.

“yeah, you’re like crazy smart at it and snape doesn’t like me.”

“snape doesn’t like anyone.” you stated.

“he likes you.” he replied.

“it’s only because she’s slytherin. he doesn’t care that she’s the smartest in our class.” fred complained.

“you think i’m smart?”

“everyone thinks that.” he said. you send him a confused look, did he just compliment you? “i mean, you like to rub it in everyone’s face that’s all.”

“ignore him. library after dinner?”

although the fred disliked you and george only spoke to you for help with potions, their friend lee jordan had a soft spot for you and you two actually got on very well.

“y/n!” lee called. he pushed through the crowds of children to where you stood near the entrance.

“hey lee.” you greeted with a smile, “where are dumb and dumber?”

“drooling over new products, what’s new?” he replied.

you chucked, “usual for them then.”

“who are you with?” he asked.

“uh, y/f/n. she’s looking for something to get her brother.” you explained.

lee nodded his head, “how about you two join us for some drinks at the three broomsticks?”

“hmm a chance to piss off the twins? how could i resist?” you teased.

“meet us there in like half an hour?” he suggested.

“of course. see you then.” you said, winking at him and leaving to find your friend.

you scanned the busy store in search for y/f/n, noticing her talking to adrian pucey.

“hey, y/f/n, adrian.” you greeted. adrian and your friend both smiled warmly at you.

“afternoon, y/n.” he said, “me and y/f/n were planning to head back to the common room, want to join us?”

“actually, lee just invited me to the three broomsticks. why don’t you come with us?”

y/f/n scoffed, “what? just to see you and fred bicker like a married couple the whole time? thanks but no thanks.”

“it’s not my fault he doesn’t like me! i’m only going to talk to lee anyway.” you explained.

“uh huh, sure you are.” she mumbled.

“oh shut up.” you said, laughing lightly.

“i need to pay for this stuff,” y/f/n stated, gersturing to the items in her hands. “you guys wait here and then we can walk you to the three broomsticks.”

you and adrian made conversation until she came back, robes pockets slightly bigger than before she left.

“shall we?” adrian said, letting you guys leave first.

the streets of hogsmeade were filled with excited students, snow falling on their heads. you wrapped your coat around you tighter, feeling the harsh breeze under it. the wooden sign of the three broomsticks came into view and you saw lee and the twins standing outside.

“well, i’ll see you guys later.” you announced, waving at the pair as you walked away.

you approached the trio of boys and greeted them, “good evening boys.”

“where’s y/f/n?” lee asked.

“oh her and pucey wanted to go back to the dungeons.” you explained.

“what the fuck lee? you said we were waiting for angelina.” fred spat.

“whoops sorry, must’ve forgot.” he joked with a large smile on his face.

fred groaned in annoyance and walked into the three broomsticks. “what’s got his knickers in a twist?” you asked.

“he just fancies you.” george replied, with a smirk.

“oh yeah, who wouldn’t.” you joked. you stepped into the dimly lit pub and swept your eyes across the busy tables. george came in behind you with lee and lead you to a table where fred sat with a scowl set on his face. him and lee went to get butterbeers for the table, leaving you two alone.

“hey sunshine.” you said, sliding in beside him. his mouth stayed shut and his eyes stayed trained on the empty booth in front of him. “you cant ignore me forever.”

“actually i can, sunshine. and i will.” he replied.

“merlin, you’re so dramatic. is this only because i’m an evil, muggle-born murdering, slytherin? or is there something else to it?”

he scoffed and turned his head to look at you. “oh come on! just because i’m a slytherin doesn’t mean i’m evil.”

“i’m pretty sure it does.”

you let out a shocked laugh, “grow up fred. i’ve never done anything to you. you’re the one that pranks my friends and i! and fair enough some of my house mates are wankers but me and y/f/n haven’t done anything to you.”

he opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it immediately. “i think you need to let go of this petty hatred towards me.”

“i think he does too.” lee announced as he approached the table with two butterbeers in his hands. him and george sat on the other side of the booth from you and slid two glasses across the table.

“he’s not one to back down easy is my brother.” george said.

“very stubborn so he is.” lee added.

“right that’s enough you two.” fred groaned, taking a swig of his drink.

“anyway, did you listen to that record i gave you?” lee asked you.

“yep, i’ve been listening to it on repeat. my roommates hate me for it.” you replied, chuckling.

“you like muggle music?” fred questioned.

“yeah it’s actually how lee and i became friends, he heard me whistling a song by queen and began singing along. since then we’ve been giving each other albums to listen to.” you explained. you took a sip of your butterbeer.

“wicked, what album was it he gave you recently?” he asked. out of the corner of your eye you saw george and lee subtly high five each other and begin having their own conversation.

“it was parklife by blur, it came out last year.” you said.

“i think i remember lee playing that one. when you give it back i’ll make sure to listen to it.”

you and fred spent the next hour bonding over your love for muggle music. you were surprised that he listened to so much and you guys actually had a very similar taste in music.

“do you remember professor lupin?” you asked. fred glanced over to george and smiled lightly.

“uh yeah, vaguely.” he replied with a laugh.

“well one time i was going to ask him for help with my essay on vampires and he was listening to david bowie! i mean i knew he was my favourite teacher but that just made me love him even more.”

“bowie huh? i can see that.” he said, nodding in approval.

“oi you two.” george stated, catching both your attention. “we’re gonna head back.”

“do you want to go?” you asked.

“you two go on, we’ll stay here for a bit yeah?” he replied, turning to look at you for confirmation. you nodded with a smile which fred returned.

george chuckled and winked at fred who just rolled his eyes. you watched the pair leave the pub and turned your attention back to fred.

“it must be fun having so many siblings.”

“it is, they’re so much fun to prank.” he chuckled. “want to go for a walk?”

“you want to go for a walk with me?” you asked with feigned shock.

“shut it, come on.” he grabbed his glass and finished the leftover butterbeer at the bottom before pushing you slightly to get you out the booth.

you slid out and grabbed your coat that you had abandoned earlier, putting it back on.

the cold air hit your face as you opened the door, fred stepped out behind you. he sucked in a breath, “bloody hell it’s freezing out here.”

“good solve detective.” you joked.

“being a cheeky bugger is my job.”

“well now you’ve got some competition.” you laughed and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as you walked down the main street. a comfortable silence fell over the two of you as the snow fell on the ground. the crunch of your shoes against the snow was all the could be heard.

questions began to flood your head, why was fred here with you? what made him change his mind? shouldn’t he hate you? surely talking about music wasn’t enough for him to get over whatever made him despise you?

“okay i have to ask.” you blurted. fred glanced at you and nodded, signalling for you to continue. “why are you here?”

he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “what do you mean?”

“don’t you hate me? i feel like you shouldn’t be as nice to me as you are being right now, considering you avoided me like the plague from first year. i’m not sure what i did, but i’m just confused on how you seem to no longer hate my guts-“

suddenly his lips were on yours and you froze, he was kissing you? why? you pulled back in shock and looked up at him, glancing between both his eyes.

“why did you do that?” you asked.

“i don’t hate you. i never have. i was pissed off myself for liking you, for thinking you were beautiful.” he explained, “you are a slytherin and for some stupid reason that made me push you away.” he placed his hands on your arms, “i’ve been raised on the idea that slytherin’s are all evil and are all with them. but i know now, that’s not true. so i’m sorry.”

“merlin you are one soppy bastard aren’t you! i accept your apology don’t worry.” you said, “i knew you secretly didn’t hate me.” you smiled up at him.

“how could i? you’re a catch darling.” he replied with a smirk.

“anymore of that and my head will be bigger than yours.” you joked. “anyway, i believe i owe you something.”

“what?-“ you leaned up and kissed him before he got the chance to say anything else. he smiled against your lips and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer. you lifted your arms up around his neck and laced your hands together.

fred pulled away first, breathing heavily. “wait till george hears about this. godric he’ll go mental.”

“he told me that you fancied me earlier, should’ve believed him.”

he chuckled and pressed his forehead against yours, “what’ll your family think when you tell them you’re dating a weasley?” he asked.

“woah, woah, woah. dating are we?” you teased.

“obviously, love. unless that’s not what you want.” he replied, placing his hand on your cheek and rubbing his thumb across your lips.

“i’ve wanted that since the moment you called me smart.”

“i wasn’t subtle at all was i?” he asked, cheeks going slightly red from embarrassment.

“not really now that i think about it. but i was oblivious.”

fred chuckled and pressed a soft kiss against your lips again, exhaling a laugh through his nose.

“can we continue this somewhere warm? i’m freezing out here.”

For the bot reader sparkling prompt what about Swerve and or Whirl? (I’m especially curious about Whirl’s reaction if the (or one) of the sparkling(s) resembles him pre-empurata) I would toss a possible Misfire in there too but I don’t think he’s a bot you usually do.

Hope you're ready for FEELS and CUTE SPARKLINGS because that's absolutely my favorite combo anon! Plus I'd always liked the Scavengers but never really looked into their appearance in the comic until now, and thank you for giving me the impetus to learn about the chaotic but still lovable gaggle of misfits.

Swerve

·He's admittedly been on a whole new level of euphoria since the two of you started dating, but the moment he found out you were gonna be Creators he more or less ascended. Every scan nearly brings him to tears and he keeps all the pictures on him wherever he goes, so any bot that comes near will be ambushed by a flood of bragging and a veritable album of a bitlet that hasn't even been born yet. Suffice to say that when it was finally time to meet your little bundle, he was emotional, though for your sake he remained a surprisingly steadfast and supportive partner through the entire emergence. But the moment he laid his visor on that squawling little bitlet...

·"Tears" aren't quite sufficient to describe the waterfall that poured from his visor, but thankfully the staff was quite accustomed to such reactions and smoothly checked over the newborn before handing them back to their new parents. As a metallurgist for a species made of metal that's at it's most vulnerable after birth, he's actually been present for a few sparklings entering the world to provide potential care for those considered high risk, but nothing could have prepared him for seeing your beautiful new bitlet in person.

·Between praising you and the beeb he can hardly get a coherent word out through the blubbering, but his awe and adoration is still clear as day. You made a whole new bot, and now they're here, and they're the most amazing little sparkling the planet has ever seen! Every feature of yours or his that he sees gets him crying anew, and he can't possibly fathom what he's done to deserve any of these blessings. Countless photos of their first few hours are accumulated to join his collection in addition to being shared via intergalactic Wi-Fi to every friend you have.

·When your chosen visitors arrive he's absolutely effusive with his praise of you and the beeb. Do they see this bitlet? Have any of them ever seen anything this precious in all of history?! His Conjunx made them isn't that the most amazing thing in the entire galaxy like how did they even do that?! Even bots who know him well are amazed by how genuinely tender and affectionate he is, as there's not a joke to be heard from him even once. Truthfully he can't think of anything funny about this at all, except maybe how even the tougher bots that visit absolutely melt when they see the sweet little face of a newborn amidst a bundle of blankets, but he can't really blame them now can he?

·Despite all of his joy for the two of you being Creators, when it's just you and him and the sparkling again, he's quite hesitant to ask if he can hold them. He's held them before in the rush of the moment, but here in the still and calm... It worries him. There's so much caution in his grip when he takes them into a gentle cradle, his bulky arms easily supporting the tiny weight despite how unnaturally heavy they feel. There's a flash of worry for all the chances he'll have to mess up, but that disappears when a little fist pops free of the blanket and into the bitlets mouth, where they contentedly suckle on it in the most adorable display he's ever beheld. Somehow he knows it will be okay in that moment, because he'll never let anything happen to you or your new little addition.

Whirl

·His reaction to his own prospective sirehood was a near perfect example of internal screaming beneath a veneer of calm. Of course he wasn't necessarily surprised, and he loved you more than anything in any universe, but... you've met him, right? Sure, you fragged him, but have you paid attention to the kind of bot he is? Do you really want any of this around a sparkling, or remixed into one? Admittedly he hadn't had an argument for your simple "yes" in reply, and to the day your little bitlet arrives he still can't think of a rebuttal, beyond how his claws don't give you much of a hand to hold or provide good massages.

·Somehow the entire process manages to be Unicron levels of unthinkable horror and awe inspiring beautiful wonder at the exact same time, and his attitude is even more varied as a result. There are moments he's the calm partner whispering sweet nothings, the aggressive coach shouting for you to kick labor's ass, the panicking wimp who refuses to believe the body parts he's seeing belong where they are, and the petrified but dutiful sire-to-be frozen in horror while you hold onto him for dear life. Thankfully he manages to reign it all in once the two of you have a newly minted bitlet wailing in the real world.

·He'd expected to be awed, but also knew to brace for seeing a bundle that... didn't much resemble his current self, due to Empurata not affecting genetics, but he never could have prepared himself for the reality. One look at this tiny and flawless little accident and he comes embarrassingly close to fainting, his long legs folding into a chair some brilliant medic was smart enough to push beside the bed, and his optic growing misty as he beholds you and the whole new person you made. There's awe at the fact he contributed to making something unbelievably perfect, happiness for a million reasons he doesn't care to comprehend, but also... sadness. A face he'd never thought he would see again is looking up at him with the biggest and most innocent pair of optics, all while a tiny mouth nibbles on a pair of servos so like the ones he had taken from him.

·He should be... angry, maybe? Old Whirl would have been angry, furious at the Functionists for ruining so much, but he just doesn't feel it. The sadness in his spark isn't even for him, it's for this little one who will grow up and eventually figure out why his sire looks the way he does, and all the pain that may cause a bot who never did anything to anyone... But that feeling is so small it's quickly swept away so he can feel what he actually wants to feel, and he wants to feel happy damn it! You and he have a bitlet, and a pretty good one as far as bitlets go! Heavy stuff can be addressed later, the two of you get to enjoy this with friends! There's precious few bots he trusts enough to visit, but those that make the cut are welcomed and invited to pay respects to the cutest sparkling ever born and the bot who squeezed them out. He has to fight incredibly hard to keep from shedding happy tears, but seeing so many of his friends coo over this tiny miracle strains his emotional reservation to the limits.

·For all the love he has for the little one, and all his progress in accepting himself, he still hasn't held them by the time night is settling and you're in need of rest. Only your obvious exhaustion and his protective nature compels him to finally accept the sleeping sparkling, and even then he's a wreck on the inside, his spark all but crackling with anxiety as the delicate beeb is laid in his arms while he stays carefully seated. Nothing could have made him understand just how tiny this little guy was until this moment. As you drift off, he tempts fate and holds out the tip of a careful claw, not daring to ventilate as he gently adjusts some blankets for a better look. Something like abject terror shoots through him as a stubby hand takes hold of him, but he doesn't move, and the little one only coos and keeps his solid little grip. At that he lets himself cry just a little. Nothing will ever hurt you or this tiny gift so long as he lives, and he won't let anything past present or future ruin the happiness you've made together.

Misfire

·His whole life he's had a soft spot for things that need caring for, but every time he's found something or someone to take care of he's told himself all he really cares about is the potential benefit for him. Recent events have forced him to admit that there's a soft spark under his... business savvy ways. Finding out he'd be a sire though? That was an entirely new level of self discovery, because he's absolutely thrilled and has no logical reason why. He quickly has to tell the rest of the Scavengers, which becomes daily updates on everything sparkling related, so even his close collection of friends is admittedly a little relieved when the bitlet finally arrives and they can meet them. Thankfully none of them were there to see him faint on more than one occasion during the delivery, but he does have to make up a story about the dents on his head when he calls to give the announcement that their newest Scavenger has arrived, claiming that he got them in a heroic dive to save the bitlet when they were still slippery and dropped by a medic.

·While never one to be too mushy, he's made incredibly sappy just by the sight of the new little bitlet when they finally end up clean and swaddled in your arms. All across the little one's features are pieces of him that he recognizes on the spot. Blended perfectly with those are obvious signs of you, creating a whole new being who's got some of you both while still existing as their own unique little wonder. It defies all logic and yet he's so happy he can't really bring himself to care. From their optics to their stubby hands to their impossibly cute little pedes they're already the most perfect being to ever come into existence, making them tied with his Creators for perfection, and no bot is ever going to be able to convince him otherwise on that undeniable fact. But, for the sake of the moment he does have to wonder; does this sparkling yet realize how attractive they're going to be?

·The group is getting a million messages a minute from the new sire as they head over to see the newest addition, and when they finally arrive he does everything he can to present the little beeb with a proper introduction but can't stop getting misty optics and sniffling the whole time. Thankfully the Scavengers are an understanding bunch. Every one of them welcomes their new teammate with a carefully observant Misfire there to ensure they don't risk any kind of damage to the bitlet. Not that he doesn't trust them, but he does know them, so... None of them take it personally. Nickel is spared this oversight, of course, being a responsible bot and a medic more than capable of holding even a proportionally sizable sparkling. One she informs the new Creators is very cute in her proffesional opinion.

·Grimlock gets a special little moment with the new Sire, specifically one in which he gets to truly see how far he's come with his little adopted family now that it's started to grow. Misfire is fully trusting as he hands over the snoozing bitlet, and while the Dinobot is beyond touched, he does indeed hesitate just the tiniest bit. Gigantic servos absolutely dwarf the sparkling when they're settled within. Despite what any bot walking into the room might think, Misfire knows that at this very moment his bitlet is more or less in the safest place in the universe. They seem to be at least somewhat aware of this, as their little tubby cheeks lift up in a smile when they behold the gigantic bot looking down on them, a sight so unimaginably adorable it makes every bot present shed at least a single tear.

·When the rest of the group heads out after leaving a mountain of gifts in their wake, Misfire happily takes the beeb so you can get some sleep, because he at least got some rest when he passed out during emergence. Holding his little one with just the tiniest hint of uncertainty, he spends the night mostly chatting with them in a fully one sided whisper conversation, though he does occasionally get a tiny sound from the sparkling he'll swear is a coherent reply. Understandably, this little one has a lot to catch up on though. He can't help smiling at the thought of all the adventures he's going to be able to brag about to them, and how many you'll all have together once this little one is up and finally walking. There's so much he'll have to teach them too, and somehow that excites him more, knowing you and he will get to help shape this little wonder into the most amazing bot that's ever lived...

ik this is a sensitive topic within the bts fandom and i think you're probably the only person i could ask this.. when do you think bts will enlist? cus i thought they would do it before the end of this year but somehow that doesn't seem likely now for me. i also think they will enlist together, cus that seems the most convenient and i can't imagine them going separately

dw yeah it's a kind of sensitive topic for armys but here its fair game! lmfao I actually got another ask about this!

so to answer both of you:

I think the seven of them are going to enlist together. like 99% sure that's how it's gonna be played out

the fact that jin HAS to enlist by the end of 2022 puts pressure on this plan bc if they go together then they all need to sort it out by next year. seokjin will be 31 next year so the govt approved deferment expires after that, since it only allowed him to postpone a year after turning 30

it won't happen this year. it won't. there are already things planned out for the end of this year and they're definitely dropping an album, like that album IS coming so they will promote that as seven

hybe has weighed the pros and cons of enlisting gradually, one at a time, or first the hyung line and then the maknae line. and they've probably reached the same conclusion I have: the seven or nothing narrative is too strong in the fandom to survive a fragmented group.

the fandom will go APESHIT if they send some now and others later. if they go off one at a time the akgae problem in this fandom will only worsen. I'm talking an actual serious problem where death threats and mass boycotting will happen.

hybe knows that 18 months without the seven of them > the next 4 years with a fragmented group. the ot7 septuplet thing is one of their biggest selling points because it allows them to keep profiting off their friendship and feeds the fandom's delusions that "they're not like other groups" and their friendship is soooo strong that they're enlisting as brothers and basically serves as a point to ensure loyalty from the fandom

armys trust hybe blindly bc they think hybe always has the interests of the members at heart. if you ship the seven of them together off to the trenches it creates a HUGE opportunity to capitalize on loyalty because it will be sold as the members' own personal decision and since army doesn't dare to question anything if they swear it's the members deciding it, they will stay, and their loyalty will only grow

they're gonna milk it for ALLLLL it's worth. I'm talking a SHIT LOAD of farewell merch. lmfao if they acted like yoongi was DEAD when he missed end of the year promo last year and brought out a fucking HOLOGRAM for him what do you think they'll do for this? I can see it already: "army, you will wait for the seven of us, right? you will not forget us. borahae 💜" like imagine the fucking water works lmfao

hybe can use those 18 months to keep selling army products based on their abstinence syndrome. it's gonna be like a junkie going through withdrawal, armys are gonna do ANYTHING for that next hit

to summarize, sending the seven of them together is the most intelligent strategy and that will absolutely benefit hybe the MOST. I expect them to have a final farewell tour in 2022 and then announce their enlistment towards the end of the year. mark my words

Hii, I noticed most people in a fandom usually make the exes the villain of the story a lot. We often forget they’re real people who once were in a seemingly loving relationship with our idols. So I wanted to know if you could write something with Harry where the reader goes to an award show with him or something like that, he leaves her for a while, she meets one of his exes, maybe kendall or Camille, who knows, And at first is afraid and insecure but they end up really getting along. thankss

heya, damn I'm sorry this took so long but studying was kicking my ass not gonna lie. I hope you all enjoy this, I did take my time!

EDIT: originally, this fic used Harry's ex, camille rowe, but a user on here made me aware that she isn't the best person and has made mistakes in the past. I don't condone her actions and therefore, I edited the fic to include kendall jenner instead who is problematic in her own right, but perhaps less severely.

harry styles x female!reader

nervous. hs.

silk dripped across your skin, slipping down from your chest to the floor, covering your pounding heart with a dress more expensive than you could imagine. only the best, your boyfriend had insisted, kissing your shoulder as he adjusted your necklace, the only detail your stylist had allowed him any access to. not in a cruel way of course; simply put, harry was more clumsy than most for all his calm demeanour, and she hadn't wanted him to endanger your chance of looking as perfect as possible for your first red carpet appearance.

all in all, you were ready. kind of. the outfit and makeup was complete and with your (perfect) boyfriend accompanying your side, you should have been ready to face anything. however, while having your hair styled, you had found out one of harry's exes would be at the event and needless to say, you were sort of shitting it.

everyone knew how perfect kendall was, and from his latest album, it was clear harry thought the same.

in reality, you knew harry wanted you and you only, since he tried relentlessly to show you how dear you were to him, but your insecurities couldn't quite keep up. only a few months ago, you had received a follow from kendall, something you found quite comforting in moments like these, as the action had been translated to you as an olive branch of sorts. comfortingly sweet and gentle, kendall just seemed so beautifully present and put together, that if there wasn't such weird history between the two of you, you'd want to be her friend.

before you could become completely submerged in your thoughts, a warm hand slipped onto your thigh, squeezing gently. small smirk on his lips, harry leaned in and pressed a kiss to your cheek, admiring your reflection in the mirror. cocky as ever, harry smirked as he watched your body react quickly to his firm touch, goosebumps spreading across your skin.

"we're off soon love, how are you feeling?" his gruff eased a few knots of anxiety in your stomach, and smiling, you reached for his hand to hold. tattooed, studded with silver rings and broken up by veins, you'd always admired how beautiful his hands were, and it was beyond heavenly to be able to hold them.

"not too bad harry, just a little scared. you know how it is," you replied while standing up on the command of his assistant, who announced it was time to go. still holding his hands, you felt a hot blush tickle your cheeks as he kissed your knuckles and raked his eyes over you. dropping his gaze then slowly raising it with a cheeky grin, harry quickly admired how you looked, a sentiment shared by you as you watched him stand and adjust his suit.

"if anyone should be nervous, it's me, with you looking like that doll."

after arriving at the event and fighting your way through the endless photos and inappropriate paparazzi questions, you'd stolen a moment together somewhere in the corner. both of you were slightly giddy and had nicked tequila shots on the way, so choking back the giggles in your throat was too hard to bother with. harry loved this side of you, the one that meshed well with his childish personality and encouraged his antics.

without pondering on this too much, his previous tequila consumption was making him consider how much trouble he'd get into if he made out with you right there, in front of everyone. after cracking another terrible joke and staring at your lips for way too long to be not creepy, he decided to continue regardless.

foolishly though, harry had been so caught up enjoying the feel of your body under his hands, with your lips against his, that he forgot he was supposed to be making his way backstage for his performance. his assistant looked on with a mix of annoyance and admiration, yet even the warming of their heart was not enough to hold them back from interrupting you.

"harry, I hate to do this, but you're needed backstage, they need you to be ready for your performance."

this prompted a step back from harry, and a deep blush from you, mildly hid by your makeup. as a parting gift, you pulled him closer for a hug, and one last kiss on his jawline, for good luck, one that struck a small groan from the back of his throat involuntarily.

almost in a daze, harry ran his fingers across where your lips had been, and rushed off giddily. half awoken from your previous love drunk stupor, you followed your assistant to where your seats were, and took your place pitifully all alone at an empty table.

swilling the complimentary champagne around the glass in your hand, you raked the crowd around you for anyone you might know, hoping someone would rescue you from your loneliness before it began looking pathetic. a few moments passed and just as you were beginning to daze off, someone interrupted you.

"oh, excuse me? we haven't spoken yet I don't think, and I was wondering if I could steal a seat?" a familiar accent swarmed your silence, and a soft hand tapped on your shoulder, causing you to turn around quickly.

kendall looked absolutely stunning, her hair styled effortlessly and her figure accentuated wonderfully by her red dress, a number that dripped in a heavenly way against her skin, emulating perhaps the golden wonders of old Hollywood.

"oh sure, go ahead, there's no other takers," you giggle a little nervously, taking a small sip from your champagne.

as she sat and her skirts fanned out, you didn't see her friendly smile falter once, a fact that warmed your insides a little, as you sat bathed in your feelings of insufficiency.

"hey, I just didn't want you to feel lonely, and I saw you sat all by yourself! you look gorgeous by the way," she turned to face you now, swishing her skirts out the way and offering you another drink.

"oh wow, thank you! I guess I didn't want it to be weird between us, considering... you know."

"not at all! if you're happy and he is happy, that's all I care for. and you seem great, so I wanted to come and introduce myself properly. can I just say, you look amazing!"

slipping a few strands of hair behind your ear, you found yourself immersing fully into a playful conversation with the american girl immediately. her jokes were strange but her calm yet humorous nature eased the nerves in your stomach and helped you relax into the moment. the performances rattled along and you found that you enjoyed all the same musicians as her, getting excited at all the same moments. even when harry was on stage, her hand found yours and her heart warmed watching how the two of you locked eyes on each other letting the world around you disappear, even if it did seem sickeningly similar to a movie moment.

you had had nothing to worry about and with her soft hand slightly on top of yours on the table, with Harry singing on stage and trying to keep his eye on you in the crowd, you needed nothing more to be content.

hi i have some continued thoughts about the gif set i made earlier but i’m just thinking about like baby boys writing nothing personal and jack just like feeling really down on himself one day bc he doesn’t know what he’s contributing and alex tells him he named this song for him bc he is so important i don’t know there are so many THOUGHTS TO BE HAD why are they like this

hi paige i don’t know if this was supposed to be a prompt but i took it as one because i’m me hope that’s okay <3 (also here is the gifset in question, warning for max damage)

read it here on ao3

-

“Hey, where’d Jack go?”

Flyzik looks up from his laptop and glances around the control room. “I dunno,” he says. “I thought he was here.”

“I leave for two minutes,” Alex says, sighing exasperatedly. “We need to put a bell on that kid.”

“Believe me, if I could, I would,” says Flyzik, returning to the all-important task of probably talking shit on Twitter or whatever he does when he’s taking up studio space. 

Squire, whose playing had been arrested upon Alex’s re-entry, starts the guitar line from the top. The unfinished track fills the small room. Alex considers handcuffing him just so he’ll stop playing that one fucking guitar part.

At this rate, he’ll be sick of the song before it’s even released.

“I’m going to find Jack,” he announces, not that anyone cares. In a halfway attempt at defiance, or being annoying, or whatever, he snatches Flyzik’s coffee mug off the table.

“Hey,” Flyzik says half-heartedly without looking up. “Give that back.”

“You’re fired,” Alex informs him.

“Joke’s on you, I quit this morning,” says Flyzik.

Alex rolls his eyes and leaves the control room.

There’s really only one place Jack is likely to be (okay, two places, but Alex has just come from the bathroom and he’d been the only one in there). Alex heads for the lounge. The TV is on, playing a commercial for mattresses. Occupying the entire length of the couch:

“Jack,” Alex says. “Where’d you go, man, I thought we were working on the song.”

Jack makes no indication that he's heard Alex at all.

“Dude,” Alex says, coming into the room and facing Jack. The way Jack is slumped into the cushions, it looks like he’s been lying here all day, not for two minutes. “Were you just waiting for me to go to the bathroom so you could bail?”

Jack shoots him a glare, but again says nothing. Alex frowns.

“Are you good?” he asks, sinking to the floor with his legs crossed. He sets Flyzik’s coffee on the table at his side. “Is something wrong?”

Jack groans. “Can you leave me alone?”

“Hey,” Alex says, hurt. “What —” He breaks off. Obviously Jack doesn’t want company — or at least not Alex’s company, which stings — and if Alex doesn’t want to be a dick, he should leave. 

Except Jack is already kind of being a dick. So.

“Dude,” Alex says again. Jack keeps his eyes on the TV over Alex’s head. “Can you at least look at me?”

“I’m just taking a break, what’s the big deal?” Jack mutters.

“The big deal is you were fine five minutes ago when we were tracking the guitar,” Alex says irritably. “I leave for two seconds and when I come back you’re gone? ‘Taking a break’?”

“Yes, Alex, I came to jerk off in peace,” Jack snaps. “So can you piss off?”

Alex huffs. “Stop being an asshole when I’m just trying to understand what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong, dude!” Jack finally looks at him, though it’s clear he would rather not be. “You don’t need me to finish the song, okay? You have Squire to do the guitar, and if he can’t do it then you will, so I’m just gonna sit this one out, alright?”

Alex stares at him. “The fuck do you mean, we don’t need you to finish the song? You need to learn it. And Squire’s just doing the demo track anyway. Meaning technically he doesn’t need me for it, either.”

“Alex, you wrote the fucking song.” Jack crosses his arms. “It wouldn’t exist without you. Unlike me.”

“You…would exist without me?”

Jack glares at him, again. “No, the song would still exist without me. And it would have a guitar part, without me. I know my role in the band, Alex, I’m not getting any ideas, okay? I’m the one who makes inappropriate jokes on Twitter and collects bras during shows. I don’t contribute in the studio.”

The gears in Alex’s brain grind loudly to a halt. “You don’t — what? What?”

Jack draws his knees up to his chest and looks back up at the TV. “Am I wrong?”

“Uh, yes?!” Alex says emphatically. “Extremely wrong, what the fuck? Since when is this a thing? You really feel this way?”

“Oh my God, it’s not a big deal,” Jack grumbles. 

“It’s a big deal to me,” Alex retorts. “You think you don’t contribute when we’re in the studio? You’re, like, the reason most of these songs get made. If you weren’t here we’d still be on our first record.”

“You don’t need to therapy me,” Jack says dully. “I’m fine with it.” 

Which is obviously not true. Jack’s shuttered expression and bitchy attitude don’t exactly communicate ‘fine.’

“I’m not trying to ‘therapy’ you,” Alex says, making air quotes. “Whatever the fuck that means. I’m trying to tell you something you should already know.”

Jack sighs wearily. Somehow he seems to sink deeper into the couch, like whatever’s weighing him down is only getting heavier. “Alex, it’s fine.”

“Stop saying it’s fine,” Alex says sharply. “It’s not fine. Did someone say something when I left? Is that why the mood whiplash?” There’s no way. Squire would never, and Flyzik hadn’t even been on the same planet. Not that Flyzik ever would, either, but then again, they make a lot of fucking jokes around here. Sometimes the kind of joke that hits a little too close to home. Call it an occupational hazard of living and working with a bunch of guys in their early twenties; none of them really know when to stop.

It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. 

Jack’s gaze flits between Alex and the TV, which has really been playing commercials for far too long. He seems to realize he’s not going to escape this conversation, and with an almighty sigh grabs the remote and hits mute.

“No one said anything, okay?” There’s a pause. Alex waits patiently while Jack gathers his thoughts. “It was just that, like, you were there, and we were joking around, and then you left, and like…Squire kept playing the part, Flyzik was still on fucking MySpace or whatever, and, like, I don’t know. It just felt like if I left it wouldn’t matter, so I did.” He barks a humorless laugh. “And I was right. It didn’t matter.”

“It mattered to me,” Alex says. “I came back and you had abandoned me with Squire and Flyzik. You think I want to be stuck with them?” 

One corner of Jack’s mouth pulls up, barely, then drops down again. “I’m fine,” he says a third time. “You can go back and finish tracking the lead. Just call me when you need me for something.”

Alex considers this. “You know, I could use a break, while I’m here.” He takes a sip of Flyzik’s coffee, which is absolutely disgusting and also room temperature at this point. Jack frowns at him.

“You’re in the middle of demo-ing a song,” he says flatly. “‘Best Friend Knows,’ right?”

“Well, as you so eloquently pointed out, Squire can track the guitar,” Alex says. “And in fact is tracking the guitar. And has been for half an hour. He doesn’t need me for it, either.”

“But that’s not the fucking same and you know it. You wrote the song.”

“Yeah, so what? It’s not that great of a song. Anyone could have written it. I bet Andrew has fifty better songs in his back pocket.”

“But Andrew isn’t in the band,” Jack says. “The whole point is they’re your lyrics that you write for your band.”

“And you play the guitar,” Alex counters, raising his eyebrows at Jack. “Yeah, there are a billion songwriters and guitarists in the world. Anyone can play guitar, but there’s only one All Time Low guitarist, and it’s you. You’re our guy, Jack. You brought the band together, you keep it together, and you keep us moving forward. So what if you’re not writing lyrics? There’s way more to being in a band than writing the fucking lyrics. I promise you, man, without you we’d still be playing the fucking Dulaney Talent Show. We’d be fucking nowhere. We definitely wouldn’t be in L.A. recording our second full-length studio album.”

Silence falls as Alex’s words hang in the air. They’re both quiet for a moment. The Red Bull fridge buzzes in the background, and even more faintly comes the sound of Squire relentlessly playing the same lead part for what has to be the millionth time. 

“If you say so,” Jack finally says, although he doesn’t really seem to believe it. 

“I do,” Alex says firmly. Jack is the heart of the band more than anyone else, the beating pulse that keeps them alive no matter what shit gets thrown their way. When they were traveling from venue to venue in a shitty van, Jack was the one who kept spirits high. In their earliest days, Jack had held them together like glue, as if he could tell that something really special would happen as long as he didn’t let them go.

And he’d been right. There’s no All Time Low without Jack. That’s always been obvious to Alex.

“I think it’s an awesome song,” Jack quietly adds, as an afterthought. “No one else could’ve written it, so take that shit back.”

“Mediocre at best,” Alex says. “But there’s still time to make it better.”

“I like it,” Jack insists. “It’s cool. You’re a good songwriter.”

Alex waves a hand. “All the good lines are from Squire.”

“Well, I don’t know any of the words,” Jack says, a hint of his usual dry humor making a comeback. “But I bet that’s not true. All the best lines always come from you.”

“They’re meh. There’s not even a good line for a title. ‘What Your Best Friend Knows’ is just the most repeated line, but like, I don’t know. It’s boring.”

“So just call it something else,” Jack says. “The title doesn’t have to come from the song. You might have heard of a little album called From Under The Cork Tree? It’s by this super underground band, I’m not sure if you’ve heard of them.”

Alex laughs a little. “Yeah, okay. I guess.”

Another pause fills the room. Finally Jack says, “If you want to hang out, you can, but stop trying to therapy me.”

“I’m not trying to therapy you! It’s called being your friend, you dumbass.”

“Well, cut it out,” Jack deadpans. There’s the Jack Alex knows. 

Alex smiles at him, even though he knows it makes him look very sincere, more sincere than Jack probably wants from him. “You made your band bed,” he says. “Now you have to lie in it.” He half-stands and clambers onto the couch, and Jack stretches his legs over Alex’s lap. “What are we watching?”

“I don’t know,” Jack says, reaching for the remote. “It’s been commercials since I got here.”

“Jesus Christ, don’t these people have anything better to do than advertise all day every day?” Jack unmutes the TV. An episode of a show neither of them know is playing. Alex rolls his eyes. “Which channel is playing Lost reruns, do you think?”

“Only one way to find out,” Jack says, raising the remote like a wand. “Hope you brought a board ‘cause it’s time for some channel surfing.”

“Oh my God, you’re so lame.”

Jack snickers. “Maybe there’ll be a line you can use for the song title. Like a ‘Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner’-type thing.”

“In Lost?” Alex says skeptically. 

“Maybe, you don’t know.”

Alex highly doubts Lost will have any cool one-liners that could double as song titles, but it’s not a bad idea, pulling an iconic movie quote the way Fall Out Boy did on Cork Tree. The gimmick isn’t really the All Time Low style, but there’s a first time for everything.

Besides, Alex thinks, glancing over at Jack, whose attention is trained on the TV, I think I know the perfect movie.

—

“What?”

They’re back in the studio the following day. After yesterday’s minor emotional hurdle, Jack seems to be doing much better. Right now his eyes are wide in surprise as he stares at Alex.

“‘Keep The Change’ —”

“I know the quote,” Jack interrupts, a smile stretching over his face. “That’s the name? Of the song?”

Alex grins. “Has a cool ring to it, don’t you think?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? This is the best day of my life,” Jack enthuses, beaming. 

Alex shrugs. “Well, someone gave me the great idea to use a movie quote for a title. This felt fair.”

“Alex, I literally love you so much, you don’t even know,” Jack says. “Just for this, I’m giving you my firstborn.”

“If you ever have children, God save us all,” Flyzik says dryly from the far side of the room. He’s not wrong, but Jack doesn’t even act offended, still caught up in the excitement of the song title. 

“Hey,” Alex says in a low voice, kicking lightly at Jack’s leg. “For the record, I’d never in a million years have thought to use a movie quote title.”

“That’s why I’m here,” Jack says.

Alex gives him a meaningful look. “That’s my point, man. Next time you think you’re not contributing, just remember this, alright?”

The shadow of realization passes over Jack’s face, and he shakes his head incredulously. “You are such a piece of shit,” he says, although he doesn’t seem upset. “This was just to make a point?”

“I didn’t do it to make a point,” Alex says. “I did it because it was a good idea. But it does make a point, because you thought you weren’t contributing in the studio, and this is proof that you are.”

Jack sighs. “Point taken.” A little bit of humility colors his expression. “Thanks.”

Alex gives him a cheeky smile. “You are welcome,” he says airily, and throws an arm over Jack’s shoulders. “And now I think we both have some guitar parts to learn, am I right?”

“Yup,” says Squire, as if he’d just been waiting for his cue. “Jack, you wanna track this?”

Jack glances over at Alex, who grins. “Yeah,” he says, stepping forward and taking the guitar out of Squire’s hands. “I’d love to.”

So since the last time I posted one of these the entire world has changed dramatically and hopefully 4 hours of music will tide you over in quarantine for a bit longer. Strangely I’ve been busier than ever, and what started as a personal challenge to listen to a new album every day in February turned into me listening to 116 new albums in March and 124 in April. I’ve got a stacked google doc full of star ratings and dates now and it’s really been a lot of fun, I highly recommend trying it yourself. This is my March playlist, because I accidentally took a month off, and I’m thinking of either switching these playlists to weekly to make them a little more digestible or just dropping them whenever. Who knows. Let me know what you think and drop album recommendations in the comments please.

Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

If you’d like to receive these playlists in a more digestible email format, please subscribe to my tinyletter here: http://tinyletter.com/grimelords

On A Slow Boat To China - Bing Crosby & Peggy Lee: Ok first off it’s amazing this song isn’t more racist. I don't remember now how or why I came across this. I think I was just thinking about crooners and how as a genre it's now existed in common popularity as a nostalgic idyll of a mytholigised past far longer than it was ever actually popular which is interesting. The origin of this song, according to wikipedia, is also one of the most 40s ideas I've ever read: "I'd like to get you on a slow boat to China" was a well-known phrase among poker players, referring to a person who lost steadily and handsomely. The idea being that a "slow boat to China" was the longest trip one could imagine. Loesser moved the phrase to a more romantic setting, yet it eventually entered general parlance to mean anything that takes an extremely long time".

Fight Night - Migos: I saw that Offset had some new show on Quibi the extremely fake sounding streaming service and I thought "how did Migos get so world conqueringly large that they get to make 10 minute shows nobody will watch for a $2 billion venture capital funded app that will never make any money?" They seem to have this massive reputation without having much to back it up. The last thing I remember everyone talking about was how Culure II was two hours long in order to game streaming numbers and was simply not good. They seemed to have sort of settled into making background music for scrolling instagram. But then I remembered Fight Night and I thought: "oh wait, that's right, Migos are fucking great". Where their other big hits like Bad And Boujee and Walk It Talk It have this sort of laid back vibe where they've comfortably nailed the formula and relax onto it, Fight Night commands your attention. StackboyTwan killed the beat - it has this propulsive momentum where it feels like it's constantly ramping up, moving up from the sidesick and bassline in the verse, up to the claps on the beat, and the big gang chants on the offbeat once the full instrumentation kicks in - then it just goes around and around and around with the constant bassline the whole tim. It's a perfect all-rise production because it never actually explodes, it's all building tension held down by an unchanging bassline.

Do It Puritan! - El Hombre Trajeado & Sue Tompkins: I am extremely delighted to announce that Sue Tompkins of one of my all time favourite single album bands Life Without Buildings has broken a nearly 20 year musical hiatus to appear on this song by El Hombre Trajeado. It is so nice to hear how her voice has changed and her approach has stayed the same. Her style is so unique and so good and I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.

5 8 6 - New Order: Before 'the incident' I had tickets to see New Order at the end of March and so I embarked on a big listen through of their discography, which has now unfortunately made it feel even worse that live music is cancelled indefinitely.

Oom Sha La La - Haley Heynderickx: First of all I love songs where they talking about how they're writing a song halfway through. And I love songs that seem like a pretty normal singer songwriter indie thing where someone just starts screaming near the end. I love this song. A great staring at the wall and absolutely losing your mind because you haven't done anything with your whole life anthem.

Elektrobank - The Chemical Brothers: Can you believe I've never listening to a full Chemical Brothers album before this month? Can you believe big beat ever went our of style? It feels insane that we ever swapped this sort of energy for the beige algorithm of EDM. I think there's a real triumph in this album, and in this track especially of replicating the live feeling in studio. Giving it this much space to grow and change and get very hairy near the end is amazing, it feels like it was just recorded live.

My Mind's A Ship (That's Going Down) - Katie Pruitt: It feels very rare to me that this sort of extremely smooth Nashville prduction actually makes a song better. It has a habit of strangling the life out of a song and making it blend into a boring paste of soundalikes, but with Katie Pruitt it works amazingly. Her songwriting is so distinct and clear and her voice, especially near the end where it punches hole in the sky, is so strong and so her own that it doesn't need anything else.

Water - Ohmme: "What if Tegan And Sara were a noise band instead?" is a question I didn't know I needed an answer to. I love any band that has the guts to write songs like this that sound like pop from an alternate history, so off kilter and odd and noisy but with this undeniable pop heart that the duo vocals make sound like schoolyard clapping chants remixed by Lightning Bolt.

Lions, Tigers and Bears - SLIFT: A friend put me on to Slift and described them as French King Gizz and really, I'm inclined to agree. This is the traditional long last song at the end of their new album, and as usual I am advocating that every song should be the long last song at the end of the album. I love this style of jam where everyone else goes to space but the rhythm section just digs in and works hard as fuck for ten minutes. Then the whole last 3 minutes of the song are just fat drone riffs. This song's got everything.

The Pines - 070 Shake: This 070 Shake album is unbeleivably good and it warms my heart to see the dark energy of The Pines live on through another century in yet another permutation. I have more to say about it later in the Jackson C Frank version coming up but it feels like this 070 Shake album kind of came and went but I implore you to listen, it’s an aoty contender for sure.

Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On - Funkadelic: If you can stop thinking about the intro, which I certainly can’t (Hey lady won’t you be my dog and I’ll be your tree and you can pee on me.) there is so much goodness in this song. For a while now I’ve been thinking about how, for lack of a better word, ‘positive’ music is consistently underrated in the critical canon. Dance music, disco and funk especially are derided as empty sugar music, while every cookie cutter metal band absolutely demands to be taken seriously. In dance music this manifests as genres like tech house sucking all the fun and individuality out of music until it’s just an endless parade of producers working to a schematic of the barest essentials. It feels like you can’t have fun and be taken seriously at the same time, which feels like an obvious contradiction but shouldn’t be!

Spoils - Dry Cleaning: Dry Cleaning are my Lock Of The Month Band To Watch In The Future Because They’re Gonna Go Off. They have such a great sound and I’m desperate for an album because I just need more. This song absolutely knocked me down when I first heard it. I love any band where it sounds like the singer has just wandered in while the rest of them were rehearsing. There’s a very good talking-songs movement happening in the UK right now between these guys, Do Nothing and Fontaines D.C and i’m excited to see where it progresses. I might put together a playlist a little later to show you what I mean.

As - Stevie Wonder: I finally listened to Songs In The Key Of Life this month, which is an experience I would recommend to everyone. This shit goes for 21 songs over 105 minutes and absolute bangs the whole way. The original release of this album was a double LP plus a 7", which is yet another reason I am grateful for streaming that I don't have to buy a damn box set to hear this thing.

Sleep Now In The Fire - Rage Against The Machine: I am working on a very niche playlist called Songs Where The Guitar Amp Accidentally Picks Up A Nearby Radio Station For A Couple Of Seconds and it's only 3 songs so far. A Man A Plan A Canal Panama by The Fall Of Troy, Melody 4 by Tera Melos and Sleep Now In The Fire by Rage Against The Machine. In every single one of those songs it feels like a critical component even though it's just an accident that's been left in because it sounds good. Here it's the perfect ending as the rage dies down and the commercial world fades back in. Anyway, my other question about this song is about the great Michael Moore directed video where they famously shut down Wall Street for an afternoon. There's a shot of a guy for a second holding a sign that says Donald Trump For President in 1999. Which is odd but not out of the question, he's been famous for a long time and there's always been freaks. My question is why the fuck did he have that sign that day? Was he amongst the Rage Against The Machine Fans that showed up? A counter protestor? Was he, perhaps most chillingly of all, just walking idly around Wall Street with his Donald Trump For President sign like usual and stumbled upon this whole hoo-haa accidentally?

Applause (Purity Ring Remix) - Lady Gaga: Did you fucking know that Purity Ring did a remix of Applause? If there’s something I’d love to know more about and it’s Purity Ring’s forays into pop production. After their first album they did some production for rappers like Danny Brown in the great track 25 Bucks, which is a good fit really - their sound is witch house with the tempo pushed back up, witch house of course just being chopped and screwed reinvented by tumblr users. So it’s a natural fit to take that new perspective back into the world of hip hop. They also did this fantastic remix of Applause after their first album. Then, after their second album they produced 3 songs for Katy Perry’s Witness album, and one Katy Perry song for a Final Fantasy mobile game soundtrack (?) and feel like the long silence and delay between their second and third albums is because of more behind the scenes pop production work - but if that’s true, where is it? Is it, as I suspect, part of my own personal Pepe Silvia, Katy Perry’s scrapped 2019 album that has vanished into thin air? Or is it part of Chromatica? I think Purity Ring have solidified an interesting place in pop, paving the way for Billie Eilish and Kim Petras’ dark anti-pop and so i’m excited to see where they go after this new album now that they’re the architects of the new wave.

React/Revolt - Drahla: The smartest thing you can do is add a saxophone to your band. The whole first half of this song could go for 20 minutes of growling screaming saxophone post-punk and I wouldn't mind. Then when the second half of the song kicks in it's fantastic in the way this whole Drahla album is: it's tight and sprawling post-punk at the same time with a complicated structure that seems to just pile onto itself instead of ever circling back.

And I Was Like - Porridge Radio: I'm seemingly having a real thing this month for songs that open with a bizzare acapella chant. Between this and the Funkadelic one it's a genre I'm very interested in hearing more of. Isaac Newton was a virgin and it's important to recognise that. The thing I love about this song is how it's in 3 distinc sections: Isaac Newton was a virgin, she's a birthday girl in a birthday world, and mum no please it's grunge, and they all feel like the concentrated energy of a 14 year old's thoughts. She sounds like she's almost crying when she sings 'she's a birthday girl in a birthday world'. The concentrated confusing teenaged energy of this song is just overwhelming.

Dirty Mattresses - Mama's Broke: So much of contemporary 'traditional folk' either exists as pure nostalgia music or as music that's trying too hard to be 'authentic' and evoke a mythology of a bygone time, but Mama's Broke manage to make it feel new and modern but honest and  authentic at the same time. The super close harmonies and modern approach remind me of House And Land who I also love, but the songwriting is in another class entirely.

Building A House - CHOPCHOP: I don't know if you've ever seen Bad Boy Bubby but CHOPCHOP feels a little like the band that he ends up joining at the end. A musical ensemble built to enable the will of a very strange man. I think the band is from the UK and I'm not sure where the singer is from, but he has this incredible deeply accented voice that brings such a gravity to everything he sings in the way that anyone speaking english as a second language accidentally brings new weight to common turns of phrase.

Universal Soldier - Jay Electronica: It feels fitting, looking back, that Jay Electronica finally released his album right before the world ended. It was literally now or never. Some how Jay-Z is the breakout star of this album for me. He's got some of his best verses in years on here and he's a great opposition to Electronica's flow when they trade verses. I would also, as an aside, like to know the origin of the kids cheering sample throughout this, because it's the same one from AM//Radio by Earl Sweatshirt and Wish You Were Gay by Billie Eilish. So what's that about.

Sticky Hulks - Thee Oh Sees: I've been very slowly getting into Oh Sees and I love them a lot so far. Their unweildy, huge discography spread across a lot of variations of the same name makes digging into them very rewarding as well. There's a great line on their wiki detailing all the times they've changed their name that goes: Orinoka Crash Suite (1997–2003), OCS (2003–2005, 2017), Orange County Sound (2005), The Ohsees (2006), The Oh Sees (2006–2008), Thee Oh Sees (2008–2017), Oh Sees (2017–2019) Osees (2019) to give you some idea of what we're working with here. Basically it's just everything you could want from a pychedelic band like this: a history and discography as shaggy as the songs themselves.

Knife On The Platter - BODEGA: In reading about Bodega I learned that they don't have a drummer in the traditional sense. They have someone credited as a 'stand up percussionist', and in listening back I realised that's they key to the groove in their music. He's not playing a kit he's just slamming at a tom and a snare on a rack, while one of the singers plays hi-hat here and there. So all the drumming has this barebones caveman feel to it and I absolutely love it. The band feels a lot like The Fashion, and that whole mid-2000s dance-punk movement that I've been desparate to come back so naturally I love it a lot.

Against Gravity - Horse Lords: Horse Lords are one of the most incredible bands I've heard in a long time. Somewhere between a more analogue Battles and Laddio Bolocko, they make a kind of churning math-jazz that sounds like huge intersecting squares of rhythm slowly overlapping. It feels like there's an infinite depth in these songs, you can listen and focus on a single instrument and see it shifting in and out of place with everyone else, before you lose it again and it retreats back into the swirling mass.

Plain To See Plainsman - Colter Wall: I've been listening to this Colter Wall album a lot, and it's really beginning to rank among my all time favourites. I grew up around the flattest place in the southern hemisphere, so I love the plains and it's very nice to have a cowboy song I can relate to like that.

The Nail - Sarah Shook & The Disarmers: Sarah Shook has so much character in her voice I completely love it. She is also a fantastic songwriter that manages to make outlaw country punk that sounds authentic and doesn't have the rockabilly posturing that a lot of the genre suffers from.

Inner Reaches 慾望的暗角二 - Gong Gong Gong 工工工: The best thing about Gong Gong Gong is you can listen to this whole song before you realise they don't have a drummer. They're a guitar and bass duo that play and sing with such a layered rhythmic intensity between the two of them that they really don't need one. A drummer would just clutter the space already taken up by their ferocious rhythm.

Country Pie - Bob Dylan: I'm a big fan of Bob Dylan's dumb songs. He has a lot where if it's the first song you ever heard from him you would be mad at whoever told you he was the greatest songwriter to ever live for trying to trick you like this. What I especially love about this song is how abruptly it ends, like dad just came home and everyone panicked cause they're know they're not supposed to be staying up that late.

You Did It Yourself - Arthur Russell: It seems hard to believe that I've only just found out about Arthur Russel. He seems to be a mainstay of Music Guy lists and somehow I've only heard of him this month. I've been obsessing over the Iowa Dream album, which is a compilation of a lot of different (mostly extremely high quality) demos from the late 70s to mid 80s and what really shines through other than the singular strength of his songwriting is how readily and easily he bends from country style folk to romantic piano ballads, to groovy post-punk like this. What I love so much about this song is it's a great lesson in songwriting: sometimes a song can just be a vague review of a middling movie and still have emotional resonance. Incredible. There's a great NPR article about Arthur Russel and the process of assembling half-takes and demos into complete recordings that you should read if you're interested. https://www.npr.org/2019/11/20/779721417/which-arthur-russell-are-we-getting-on-iowa-dream

The Dogs Outside Are Barking - Arthur Russell: I love this song because it's such a perfect distillation of a teenaged moment: trying to find a moment alone with someone when you have no freedom at all to create one. The song cycles through potential situations but leaves the problem unresolved, existing in the moment of nervous romantic tension preceding an unasked question and it's just beautiful.

Men For Miles - Ought: I love the vocal melody in the verse here so much. Spiking up unnaturally at the end of the lines like a nervous and strange version of The Strokes. Even the way he cramps his words in in the chorus is so good, switching registers randomly like he's impersonating someone else.

Mister Soweto - Lizzy Mercier Descloux: https://pitchfork.com/features/from-the-pitchfork-review/9828-lizzy-mercier-descloux-behind-the-muse/ Pitchfork has a great article about Lizzy Mercier Descloux detailing how she is continually undervalued and underappreciated. I found her though my Discover Weekly and became immediately obsessed with this album - a perfect mix of off-kilter 80s bass and brass that is so colourful and seems to move in a million directions at once like the songs can't even catch up with themselves sometimes. I'm excited to dig into her discography more and try to understand her more because she has a truly unique approach that I can't get enough of.

Sweden - Marilyn Crispell: I've been looking for a while for other pianists of Cecil Taylor's calibre, rare type that it is and I am so glad to have finally found out about Marilyn Crispell. She plays free jazz like Taylor, but in much less percussive and disonnant style. There's a New York Times quote that seems to follow her that says "Hearing Marilyn Crispell play solo piano is like monitoring an active volcano. She is one of a very few pianists who rise to the challenge of free jazz." and it's really very apt. She will move with seemingly no warning at all from mediative, colourful stokes to a mad descent unto uncertainty and beyond, then back again without a moments hesitation. Her music moves like a dream, linking a stream of unlinked images with an ease that only seems incongruous on reflection.

Twins - Gem Club: I have loved this song for a very long time and I come back to it over and over and appreciate it anew. What I appreciate about on listening to it this time is the strangeness of it's structure, following up the verse with an instrumental break, and then a long instrumental intro to the chorus gives it so much space to spread out and breathe, giving the beautiful gravity of the song even more weight. Then after the chorus it moves straight to a bridge and then the intro and first verse again. It's a fantastic song that makes it's small parts so large, where another songwriter or another producer would pare them down.

Grand Central - Paul Cauthen: Something I've learned in listening to a lot of cowboy music is that the number one thing that cowboys hate and fear is getting hanged. They hate it worse than cats hate getting sprayed with water. I found out about Paul Cauthen combing through Colter Wall's similar artists looking for more of this brand of new old fashioned country and I really found it here. Paul Cauthen comes from four generations of preachers and left the church to pursue country music instead, which feels like an extremely old fashioned position to be in here in 2020 but I guess lots of people in Texas still live like that, and thank god they do or we wouldn't have Paul Cauthen's big mournful Elvis voice to sing us songs about the railway.

Serafina - BAMBARA: I love this sort of spoken word leather jacket rock and roll. It's so extremely Cool in an old fashioned way. Like a more rock and roll version of Enablers.

So 4 Real - The Hecks: I love love love this song that sounds like a sped up Prince demo. The strange thinness of the mix and the way the vocals are buried just makes it sound so strange and great, like it was put together on some ancient 4 track recorder that can't handle the pure energy of the song.

In The Pines (Version 2) - Jackson C. Frank: There's a very good 3 hour compilation of Jackson C. Frank recordings that came out a few years called Remastered And Unreleased that I listened through the other day. It's just magnificent. This version of In The Pines is one of my favourite I've ever heard, the mournful vocals coupled with his churning rhythm guitar really brings out the darkness of it in a way I've never heard.

(Tumble) In The Wind (Version 1) - Jackson C. Frank: Another favourite from this compilation that is slightly hard to listen to. I don't know if there's a date on it but I'd guess this was recorded near the end of his life. It is so beautiful, but you can hear in his voice and breathing that he's unwell. In Horseshoe Crabs by Hopalong she sings a story from his perspective this song really seems to fit in the second half of that. "Woke from the dream and I was old / Staring at the ass crack of dawn / Walked these streets up and down / Looking for Paul Simon / All I found was myself, lost in time / I tried singing my songs / But I lost my mind"

Sludge - Squid: I'm thinking of putting together a playlist of all the great Black Midi-adjacent bands I've found out about recently and Squid is at the top of the list. This new breed of art-punk is so fantastic and goes in a million different directions. I'm just so excited it exists.

Straight Shot - Quelle Chris: I love this song and Guns is a phenomenal album but there’s one thing bothering me. The ‘who are you, what are you’ part at the end sounds so incredibly familiar to me and I can’t figure out why. As far as I can tell it’s not a sample, but googling reveals that the english voice on it is fucking James Acaster the standup comedian. So what’s going on? Quelle Chris himself is less than helpful: “Straight Shot is one of those ideas that reached out to me, we got along and I simply showed it around town. The chorus, poem at the end and basic piano progression literally came to me in two separate dreams”. Who knows. Great song though.

Levitation - Dua Lipa: What I really like about this song is that she says sugarboo. This whole album bangs and Dua is really reaping the benefits of being the only pop star with the guts to release an album while everyone’s in lockdown I also have a half-baked theory about the way this song is almost interpolating Blame It On The Boogie in the ‘moonlight, starlight’ part as a sort of aggressive takeover of Michael Jackson’s cancelled legacy. Which is smart really. The same way Taylor Swift is re-recording her albums, let’s just get The Weeknd in the studio for a couple of days and give the world back it’s bangers.

Another Crashed Car - Nine Inch Nails: I am so glad Trent Reznor put out another two volumes of Ghosts. Ghosts I-IV from 2008 seems to have been the bridge from his Nine Inch Nails work to his film score work, and now that he’s had such success with that it’s nice to hear him writing in this style without telling anyone else’s story again. It’s also interesting for him to go back to this project now that Ghosts I-IV has paid dividends in the form of the sample at the centre of Old Town Road but that’s neither here nor there. It’s hard to pick and individual track from these, because they work so effectively as long form albums and not individual tracks, but I chose this one because I put the album on as background ambient while I was doing some boring data entry at work and this track is the point at which I realised I was going out of my mind with stress from doing the simplest tasks because of Trent’s Damned Chords.

Lilacs - Waxahatchee: This is a perfect song. It makes me want to like, draw charts about it and go through it bar by bar to figure out how she did it. It’s perfectly put together. It feels like she uses every trick in the book and it just comes together flawlessly in 3 minutes. Amazing.

Cool Water - Hank Williams: I decided to properly listen to Hank Williams because his shadow stretches over so much of country music, and while a lot of his music really alienated or bored me, and a lot of his songs feel like they would read as novelty songs today (like Hey Good Looking), this is the song that made me understand why he’s so revered.

In My Bones (feat. Kimbra and Tank And The Bangas) - Jacob Collier: Jacob Collier generally irks me. He makes brain music for redditors that lose their mind when someone shows them chord inversions or odd time signatures. Youtubers whose whole personality is ‘y’all heard Giant Steps?’ But he killed it on this song. It’s great despite him. There’s still a lot of corniness to work through, mostly in the big yuck funky lyrics, but structurally it’s a kaleidoscope and a big chunk of its success I’m putting down to Kimbra and Tank who understand that performance is a bigger part of a song than composition in a way Collier maybe doesn’t yet. He can overload the bassline and stop-start the rhythms as much as he likes but without actual personalities driving it it’ll just sound like a Peter Gabriel midi played at 200%.

Earthquake - Graham Central Station: I learned something wonderful in researching this band. The leader, Larry Graham, who was in Sly And The Family Stone is credited with inventing slap bass. He himself refers to the technique as "thumpin' and pluckin' ".

Quand Les Larmes D’un Ange Font Danser La Neige - Melody’s Echo Chamber: Once again furious that I’ve known of Melody’s Echo Chamber for years but never listened to them until now. I have been missing out. This is a perfect sprawling psychedelic jam punctuated with a bizzare cut-up recording about shitting yourself when you die and being declared brain dead in the vatican. It’s got everything. I had to look up who the drummer was on this song because he’s just nailing it, and it turns out it’s Johan Holmegaard from Dungen which is really a perfect fit.

Murder Most Foul - Bob Dylan: I was thinking the other day about how Bob Dylan is doing in quarantine. The man who hasn’t stopped moving his whole life and who’s been on a never ending tour  since the 70s is now, I assume, just pacing a hole in a hotel carpet somewhere and jabbering to himself. The strangest part of Bob dropping this 17 minute song about JFK out of nowhere is that he hasn’t put out any original music since 2012. So a gigantic song like this is an even bigger surprise. I, already a huge fan of gigantic songs and Bob Dylan, unsurprisingly love it. I love the slow stirring of the instrumentation, like he hired Dirty Three as a backing band and I love that nearly the entire second half is just listing good songs that he knows. It’s a remarkable song and unlike anything i’ve heard before from Dylan or anyone else. It’s interesting to hear Bob Dylan step into being the great chronicler of the 60s like he’s been told he already was his entire life almost 50 years later, finally accepting the fate foisted on him. The other thing I love about this song is the line when he for some reason praises Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting “Greatest magic trick ever under the sun / Perfectly executed, skillfully done”

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

Tw; Postpartum Depression

Call 1-800-944-4773 (4PPD)

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Text a Message: 503-894-9453 if you are struggling with Postpartum Depression. This hotline is COMPLETELY confidential and available 24/7.

You sat down on the rocking chair with your 3 week old baby cradled in your arms. She looked so peaceful. You were so afraid of even moving an inch, careful not to wake her as you just got her to close her eyes. You never felt so exhausted in your life. Sleep was now a distant memory, you were moving through life in a forgetful haze.

You stared at your precious baby in your arms and a twang of hurt and absolute adoration tugged at your heart. There was no denying you loved this baby, she was now your entire heart-but there was a small piece of you that thought you couldn’t do motherhood. A small part of you buried deep, deep down. A small part of you that almost felt unworthy. Sometimes, when Harry was asleep and you just put her down you’d go into the bathroom, sink to the floor and sob. Turning the shower on to drown out your cries.

Harry was absolutely the best father you could have hoped for. But he didnt know how much you were struggling. Seeing him interacting with the baby seemed so easy, like besides singing, he was meant to take care of an infant. Your eyes swelled whenever you'd catch him in the nursery holding her even though she was already asleep.

“Just wanted to hold her.” He'd say with a raspy voice and you'd nod and walk back to your bedroom and go under the covers and try to hold everything back.

It's not like Harry didn’t notice your melancholy behavior. Ever so often he’d catch you staring off into space and within seconds he was in your line of sight.

“Everything okay?”

You’d give him a small smile and nod, telling him you were just tired. He’d hold you while you napped and whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

The day everything shifted was when Harry announced he'd be gone for a week. He had agreed to do a weeks worth of promo for his upcoming album. When he told you, your eyes widened and the anxiety settled in.

“A week?” you asked, trembling in your voice.

“Yeah I know it's not ideal, but it's only a week and I’ll be right back here.” He said washing some glasses in the sink, up to his elbows in soapy water. When you didn't say anything back he turned his head to you, his gaze met your teary eyes, and he noticed your palms were shaking. He took his hands out of the soapy water, grabbed a towel as he dried his hands off, all whilst walking towards you. He knelt in front of where you were sitting on the chair.

“Hey, hey what's going on bub”

He said softly, his hand went to lift your chin to meet his gaze.

You huffed and your breath came out shaky. How do you explain to him you were terrified of being left alone with your baby. How do you explain you couldn't do any of it without his help, to look out for you, but especially for the baby.

“Please don’t go, Harry, I c-can’t do this without you.” You hiccuped and suddenly the tears were coming on faster.

“Where's this coming from love?.” He cooed cupping your face.

You were getting frustrated. You moved Harrys hands off you and pushed back in your chair, standing up. Harry stood up and you were both now at eye level.

“Please! Harry just do this one thing for me pl-please.” You said through your sobs.

“Okay,okay. I won't go. I’m right here baby.” He said as he drew you closer to him and enveloped his entire body over yours. Clinging on to you like you'd crumble if he were to let go. He rubbed circles into your back, whispering everything would be okay in your ear and occasionally peppering kisses onto your forehead.

You stayed like that for a while before Harry finally felt okay letting you go. Your anxiety subsided, but it still lingered in the back of your mind. Only silent, slow tears leaving your eyes, you took a deep breath and let go of Harry. He looked up at you, concern laced his features, a mixture of worry and questioning haunted his eyes and you felt guilty for being the reason they were there.

Harry guided your shaky figure back to the dining table and pulled the chair out for you. You sat and immediately put your down on the cool granite.

Harry turned the kettle on and while he waited for it to boil, he walked over to your slumped figure, he massaged your back with his fingers and pressed kisses into your hair. He pulled a chair up right next to you and took your hands into his. Kissed each and every one of your finger tips.You raised your head and the two of you stared into each other's eyes. He looked tired and worried, you reciprocated the same look. You weren't crying anymore but the hurt still lingered deep in your chest.

“Wanna talk about it bub?” Harry asked.

You told him everything you felt in the past three weeks since you've had the baby. The hurt, the longing, the guilt. You told him about the crying sessions you've had in the bathroom late at night when he and the baby were fast asleep. About how you envied how easy all this came for him, how loving his child was easy for him; free of hurt and pain. About all the insecurities you had about being a mother.

Before you knew it you were crying again and Harry guided you to his lap. He cupped your face in his hand and wiped your tears away with the pads of his thumbs. You noticed he was crying as well. You kissed his salty tears away.

“Why did you tell me any of this was going on love? I'm so sorry this was happening and I didn’t pick up on it”

You pondered his question for a minute and the answer was on the tip of your tongue all along.

“I didn’t know how bad it was until the prospect of having to do it completely alone hit me.” You said,meeting his gaze.

You embraced each other for quite some time, forgetting all about the tea you planned to make.

“I’m sorry my love, we’re gonna get through this together. I’m not leaving your side.” He murmured into your neck.

“Would you be okay with seeing a therapist? You don’t have to do it alone, i’ll join if you want me to. I just want to make sure you’re getting help beyond what I can provide.” He asked, looking for any hint of hesitation in your eyes.

“Yes, I wouldn’t mind that. Not at all.” You breathed a sigh of relief, finally you were going to stare this thing straight in the eye. You just wanted your life back and now that seemed possible instead of terrifyingly daunting.

You heard the baby start to fuss over the monitor you had in the kitchen. You both stirred, untangling yourselves from each other.

“I got it.” Harry said but you took his hand and sat him back down.

“No no, it’s okay I got it bub.” You said, giving him a small smile and kissing his cheek. He turned his face so his lips met yours and you pinched his side before going up the stairs to the nursery.

Your baby was still fussing in the crib so you picked her tiny body up. Shocked at the sudden movement, she cried some more not long before smelling your familiar scent and calming down. You sat in the rocking share and this time saw hope instead of fear when looking at the love of your life in your arms.

“..Hey Jeff, yeah I cant fly out on Friday, might have to push back the promo stuff for a while.” You heard Harry say over the monitor.

“No everything is okay, just the missus and the baby really need me and i’m not comfortable leaving them for a week.” You felt saddened Harry had to push his album release back a few dates.

“They’re my entire world Jeff, thank you for understanding...yeah see you soon buddy, bye now.” Harry’s voice died out and suddenly you heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

Harry held a tiny baby bottle in his arms.

“I heard you on the monitor. I’m sorry Harry.” You said looking up at him as you took the bottle he was offering you.

“Nope, Up up please.” He gestured for you to get up off the rocking chair and he sat down, pulling you and the baby in your arms into his lap.

“None of that, I want to be here. That stuff can wait.”

“Are you sure? Everyone’s anticipating this album Harry.”

“Yeah I am too, but it would absolutely wreck me if I released it while everything wasn’t okay here. You two come first.Always.” He said kissing your daughter's cheek and resting his face on your neck.

“You are the best mother in the entire world.” He said.

“Right up there next to Anne.” He said smiling into the crook of your neck.

Things were going to be okay.

Drag you down - Jhope x Curvy!reader

A/N:  Okay, so I’m bringing some love to my baby, my sunshine, Jung Hoseok, aka Jhope which if you like BTS I assume you already know.  Anywaysssss, he’s my bias wrecker and bitch he got me feeling some type of way whenever he’s dancing, especially when he’s teaching like he could literally punch me and I’d say thank you.  Anyways, I just had the idea of writing a thing where the reader is dating him and they’re more on the curvy side so they start to doubt themselves being with Jhope because they feel like they don’t fit his idol image and that they’re kind of dragging him down.  So, this sweet boy decides to have a little talk with you and shows you just how much he loves you.  Also, as someone who has a little junk in my trunk, this idea just randomly popped up in my head.  I really hope you guys like this, it’s my first time writing for kpop or a person in general who’s not a fictional character...so don’t judge me too hard I can’t promise I won’t cry.  Love you guys always!!

Hoseok invited you to watch his photoshoot that he had to promote BTS’s new album.  He had been ecstatic, excitedly talking about it till midnight while you were laying in bed, responding with quiet murmurs falling asleep to his voice.  He waved over at you, doing a group shot with the rest of the members, the members catching you glance and waving also.  Smiling softly you sent over a quick wave, before looking around the set at how hard working the producers were for making all the props and taking pictures.  Next up were the single pictures, but just as that started a couple of girls walked in, clearly models as they had finished getting up from the makeup area.  One of the girls smiled over at you, there wasn’t any animosity in the smile, however, you felt the hairs stand up on your arms as she walked over to Hoseok.  Doing the single shots, you watched as the two posed together, their rhythm perfectly matching the others, the girl quietly giggling at whatever joke Hoseok had just made.  “Hey y/n, what’s got you so deep in thought?” asked a male voice to your side, turning you saw Namjoon, the leader of the group but also your best friend.  He was always so calm and methodical that you felt as if he could read your movements, “Nothing...just I’m proud of you guys.  The fans are really going to love this album.” you said, smiling over to reach his hand.  His smiled back giving a reassuring squeeze as he replied, “Thanks, I really hope so...I-I..”  “Hey, shush...as a fellow army myself I am speaking for all fans when I say they will absolutely love this album, Joon.”  His lips quirked into a smile as he gave a side hug, before getting called over by the makeup unni who wanted to fix his base makeup before sending him back into the shoot.  Hoseok smiled and gave the girl a soft bow as a way of thank you before walking over to you, “Didn’t I do great, jagi?” he asked, head quirking to the side like a puppy.  “Yes, you did amazing, babe.  I almost fell for you all over again.”  His cheeks flushed softly at your compliment as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.  A female voice sounded from behind you, “Oppa, here’s a drink.  You did great!” the girl from earlier said as she handed him a coffee, “Thanks, Minji.  You did great too!” he said, ruffling her hair.  You couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at the soft touch that he had given her, she looked prettier than you and definitely skinnier compared to your more curvy figure.  You weren’t really the jealous type and had always been on the more confident side of things, you liked your curvy figure especially with Hoseok’s encouragement, but as you went public with your relationship your self-image had become more critical due to worrying how fans would see you.  Especially during one incident when a fan had commented after you first went public, “How is Hoseok with that pig?  I mean how does she not crush him lol?” that comment, no matter how childish it had been had engraved deeply into your brain.  Hands fumbling slightly you smiled at the girl, giving a soft bow of your head as she handed you a drink too, “You’re so pretty unni.” she said in awe as she admired your figure, “Maybe you should’ve been modeling with Hoseok oppa instead of me.”  Hoseok’s chest seemed to swell with pride as he kissed your cheek, “I would love to have her model with me but she’s too shy.” he crowed, with a slight pout to his lips, “Maybe for our next photoshoot…”  Chuckling softly, you swatted his arms, “Stop trying to flatter me, Seok.  I see right through you.”  The girl had started to walk away, going back to her task of handing drinks out to the other members, “You know I just want to show everyone that this is mine…” he whispered in your ear, voice growing husky as he placed his hands on your hips.  “Not here.  We’re in front of all your members, Hoseok.” you chided, giving him a kiss on the cheek.  Pouting he gave you a look that clearly said, “Later” as he walked back over to his members to get his makeup fixed as well.  You watched them do the finishing touches of the photoshoot before you were whisked away by your friend, Haeun, who happened to also work at the company.  “You didn’t tell me you were visiting.” she said, betrayal hinting her voice jokingly, as she swatted your arm, “So, you were just gonna see your boyfriend and not even say hi to me huh?”  Swatting her arm back, you replied, “Neverrrr...I was going to wait till they were done.  You know how Hoseok gets when I leave in the middle after promising to watch his shoot.”  “I’m gonna have a talk with him about stealing my best friend.” she announced to you, sending a soft glare in his direction, “Hey, how about I get us lunch and in return you don’t make my boyfriend cry.  You know how you’re kinda scary sometimes.”  Haeun looked at you with innocence in her brown eyes, “Me? Scary?  Never.”  Laughing you linked arms as she walked you down to a restaurant nearby that sold kimbap and tteokboki as a quick snack/lunch.  Sending a quick text to your boyfriend once you were sat down, he probably wouldn’t see it till later but you still wanted to let him know where you were.  You looked up at her, as she ordered the food, once done she looked towards you, “Am I forgetting anything?”  Shaking your head, she nodded finishing the order, “I have a question.” you started, as she looked at your head softly quirking, silently telling you to continue, “Do you know the girl that was modeling with Hoseok?”  “Oh...I don’t know about her much.  She’s a young model, Minji right?”  Nodding, as she continued, “I know she’s from Hoseok’s hometown but other than that she’s still pretty new but slowly gaining public interest.”  You nodded softly, getting lost in your thoughts until a hand suddenly hit the top of your head softly, “Don’t think about her too much.  I already know what you’re thinking, ‘God, she’s so pretty and skinny.  Hoseok’s image would look so much with her than me.”  Her features softened as she grabbed your hand, “You’re gorgeous and I mean...your body like damn bitch, excuse my language but you could turn me gay here and now with a snap of your fingers.  Also do you not see how whipped Hoseok is for you?  I’m sure if you asked him to buy you a star and name it after you he would in the snap of a second.” Flushing at her words you replied, “But..”  Cutting you off she scolded, “No buts.  Next time you even start doubting yourself I’m really gonna get mad and you’re the one who said that I was scary.” she softly glared at you as she organized the food on the table.  You shut your mouth, remembering the last time you doubted yourself being with Hoseok and she scolded you while organizing a small party for you where she had organized a bunch of pictures of you to hang around your apartment as Hoseok serenaded you.  The party was embarrassing but also fun, definitely something you didn’t want to experience again, however, especially not Haeun’s wrath.  “Now, eat up before their photoshoot ends.  I haven’t had time alone with you in like days.”  After finishing up, you headed home with Hoseok and the boys, they dropped by your apartment as you helped Jin fix them a meal.  Once they left, Hoseok helped wash the dishes although it was more like he was washing you from the amount of water that had splashed you from his playful antics that you had returned.  Clothes both almost soaked once you were done, Hoseok wrapped his arms around you, head resting on your shoulder.  “I’ve missed you.” he spoke softly as if he was afraid to break the silence, “I missed you too.” 

 The next several days, you started to become more reclusive, it was more subconsciously than intentionally, but you would start to make up reasons as to why you couldn’t meet up with Hoseok and the boys, by saying you were busy at work or hanging out with friends.  You just felt that if you weren’t in the picture Hoseok could definitely get a prettier girl who fits his image better as an idol than someone like you.  A couple days after the photoshoot you heard the doorbell ringing, “Who is it?” you called out heading to the door.  Looking through the hole you saw Hoseok who was looking sullen and hurt.  Opening the door you were about to speak before he cut you off, “Did I do something wrong?”  he asked, eyes looking to yours, inspecting your features, “You’ve been avoiding me…”  “Hoseok, it’s nothing I just…”  “Is there another person?” he asked, suddenly as his eyes filled with tears at the corners slightly, piercing your heart even more at his hurt expression.  “Jagi, of course not, you know I only have eyes for my sunshine.  I-I just feel like you’d be happier with someone else…”  Hoseok’s features perked at your words, “What do you mean I’d be happier with someone else?  I’ve never been happier in my whole life and that’s because of you y/n.”  His features softened, “I knew you looked weird after that photoshoot with Minji.  You know she’s right...I’d love to have you in our photoshoots sometime.”  Flushing, you punched his shoulder softly, “Did you want to come in?” you asked, as he nodded in response.  Pulling you towards your couch Hoseok patted the cushion next to him, “You’re gorgeous you know that right?  I don’t care if I’m an idol, even though we have thousands of fans, I still only have eyes for you, y/n.”  his hand squeezed yours, silently asking for a response.  “I know, it’s just you’re so famous and I’m just...yknow me.  If I wasn’t dating you I’d be a nobody.  People wouldn’t even know who I was I’d just be a random girl on the street.”  avoiding his eyes, you continued, “Compared to Minji, I’m not that pretty, I mean some of your fans clearly agree and so do the news reports.”  Hoseok placed two fingers gently on your chin, tilting your head up, placing a kiss on your lips he replied, “I don’t care what the fans say about you, I love you and if they don’t understand that then they weren’t real fans to begin with.  The real fans are the ones who are happy for me that I’ve found someone I love.”  His features brightened slightly, “You know I posted about you yesterday because I was missing you…” he confessed shyly, “And your kind of trending.” Shocked by his statement your lips fluttered slightly, “What?”  “You haven’t looked at your socials all day, huh?” he questioned, pulling his phone from his pocket.  Showing his twitter to you, you saw all the retweets and posts about you, some of the responses from fans included, “Omg why’d nobody tell me Jhope was dating a literal goddess?! Have you guys seen her?  She’s got curves for days!”  “Damn, here I thought I was straight because I liked 7 boys, but now….Jhope give me your girl’s number?”  “Please make her a model Bighit!!  She deserves to be in one of the boys’ photoshoots.”  “When are the photocards of her coming out, I’m waiting BIghit put her in your next girlgroup.”  Sitting in awe at all the comments, you looked up at him, “Y/n, they love you just as much as I do.  You’re the only one who couldn’t see it, I don’t care if there are models like Minji, because you’re the only one I see.”  His eyes started to wander the rest of your body, “I mean, I love you as much as I love your body...maybe it’s time I show you, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.” he said, his voice grew deeper as his eyes seemed to glaze over with lust as his lips placed onto yours hungrily as if he couldn’t get enough, “Come on...we’ve got a long night ahead of us if I’m gonna show you just how much I love you.” 

Lazerquest - part 5

Alex Turner x Reader

Chapter 5/?

Description: you are an impulsive bartender who recently moved to London after traveling across the United States and living on the road for a few years. You befriend Alex, a musician who recently got out of a long term relationship, and you show him the ways of your free-spirited lifestyle in an attempt to help him move on from his ex. However, you become more of a muse than a friend for Alex and all is revealed when he releases his band’s fourth studio album, “Suck it and See”.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: a bit of sexual harassment, nothing intense but it could definitely be uncomfortable

Tag list (msg me if you would like to be added):

@lolurnotmileskane @imagine-that-100 @babyhoneystvles

Updates whenever the heck I please (at least once a week) 

Author’s note: I’m sorry it’s been like a week I’ve been so uninspired but I feel a bit better now so woooooo hopefully I’ll be updating more.

**************

“Just go commando, Turner. It’s not my fault you don’t keep extra undergarments in your car.”

“Fuckin’ hell, and my trousers are sandy.”

“You’re being a massive pussy.”

“Well I’m sorry Ms. Spontaneous, I had no idea we would be swimming in our knickers and then going out to get pissed tonight. I would’ve brought a change of clothes.”

“Oh, shut up Alex. You know you enjoyed seeing me practically naked.”

“Never said I didn’t.”

You gave Alex a warning glare before turning into the bathroom of the seedy motel room the two of you had decided to rent for the night. After your little ocean underwear rendezvous, you both sat your soggy asses in the Porsche and drove back into a little village Alex knew about. On the way back you told him about the scheme you had been conjuring up for the rest of your night, and after you said the words “absolutely shitfaced”, he told you that he would find a hotel. 

Alex was thrilled to go to a bar and drink with you at first, but when he came to the realization that he would have to go in his street clothes, he became a bit more apprehensive. You, on the other hand, were thrilled that you had an excuse to wear your new dress. 

“Jesus Christ,” you mumbled. As fit as you looked in the dress, the lack of bra underneath made it look a tad bit slutty and you were getting nervous about not having anything to wear underneath. Before returning from the small bathroom, you did your best to fix your makeup and then dried your hair with the basically ancient blow dryer that resided next to the faded vanity mirror above the sink.

“Alright, Al. I’ve got a job for you,” you announced after exiting the bathroom and going to sit next to Alex on the old queen bed that inhabited the hotel room. 

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Make sure I don’t flash the entire pub tonight.”

Alex shook his head in disappointment and chuckled. He was stood by the door in the same thing he had been wearing previously, putting on his shoes. “You know, you could just wear the clothes you had on this morning.”

“What’s the fun in that?” you frowned. He was right, shorts would be a much safer choice, especially considering the fact that your only objective tonight was to get faded. You just thought your new dress looked really good on you, and you’d have been lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want a little male attention. Not from Alex, of course, you had plans to get him a bit of a one night stand tonight. (it would be good for him, you thought. Help him take his mind off of Alexa some more.)

Alex rolled his eyes at you. “Are you ready? I want to get this show on the road.”

You stood up cheerfully and nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go get you fucked up.”

Alex looked you up and down as he opened the door of the room and put the key back in his pocket. “I have a feeling I won’t be the only one getting ‘fucked up’ tonight, Y/N.” 

****************

“Alright, Y/N. What kind of twisted drinking game have you got planned for us tonight.” 

You and Alex were sat at the bar of a rather small but busy pub. The music was loud, the people were rowdy, and the drinks were shit. It was perfect.

You gasped dramatically. “Wow, Alex. You really thought I had some premeditated plan to get you absolutely trashed? I’m hurt.” 

Alex narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brows. “I may have only met you twenty-four hours ago, but I know you well enough to know that you aren’t just gonna let me off with a few margaritas.”

You smiled at him slyly. “Touché. I do have one or two things up my sleeve.”

“Evil genius, you are.”

You winked at him before ushering the bartender over. She was an attractive woman, and you had noticed her checking out Alex when the two of you had walked into the pub. 

“What can I get for you, Loves?” The woman asked. She had a thick Scottish accent and was making direct eye contact with Alex.

“I see you’re checking out my friend here,” you giggled. The bartender, who’s name tag read Helen, gave you a glare. “Listen, Helen. It’s not a bad thing, he’s quite the catch. You can have your shot with him all you want, I just have a few questions first.” 

Helen furrowed her brows in confusion. Alex gave you a wild look, one that said what the hell are you up to? 

“So what do you say, Helen? You up for it or are you just gonna stand there looking at me like I'm crazy?”

Helen shook her head a bit and cleared her throat. “Sure, Lady. But if they’re personal or weird I’m throwing you out.” 

You let out a breathy laugh. “Not to worry, it’s nothing too weird. I was just going to ask you to rate my friend out of 10.”

Alex nearly choked on his spit. “What?”

Helen laughed. “Well I’m not sure why it’s important, but he’s definitely a 9.”

You smiled smugly. Perfect. Fantastic choice, Helen. “Alright, now what would you rate me? Objectively of course, it doesn’t matter if I’m ‘your type’ if you know what I mean.”

Helen looked at you with narrow eyes for a long time, as if she was deep in thought. “You’re a fit young lass, but you’ve got small tits and that dress is about 2 inches too short. You look like an Austin Powers themed hooker.” Alex erupted into laughter and you punched him in the shoulder. Helen let out a long sigh before tapping on the bar. “I’d say you’re a 7.” 

As offended as you were that the busty bitch only thought you were a 7, her answer worked completely in favor of your plan. “Alright. I’ve got one more question for you, then we’ll let you get back to work.”

Helen nodded. “Go on, then.” 

You gave her a toothy grin. “What’s your favorite drink?”

You could hear Alex scoff from next to you. He knew exactly where this was going. 

“I love a good rum swizzle, but my favorite to make here are brambles.”

You chuckled and turned to Alex, who had his face in his palms and was swearing under his breath. “Alex, pick your poison.”

Alex gave you a death glare and reluctantly looked at Helen. “I guess I’ll have…. nine brambles.”

You giggled and clapped your hands victoriously. “And I’ll take seven rum swizzles, Helen. Thank you so much for your help.” 

The poor bartender gave you both confused looks before turning around to make your drinks. Alex looked like he wanted to slap you. “You’re absolutely mad. We’ll both be blacked out in like, half an hour. Are you trying to kill us?” 

You just winked at Alex and smiled at Helen when she gave the two of you your first drinks. “Keep ‘em coming, ma’am. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.” 

Alex sighed and raised his glass to yours. “Cheers, psycho. If I die tonight it’s on your conscience.”

As the two of you took the first well….gulps...of your drinks, a familiar song began sounding through the club. Alex’s face immediately dropped. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

You gasped. You knew exactly what song was playing. “Isn’t this-?”

Alex cut you off. “It’s me. Yeah.”

You squealed in excitement and finished the rest of your first drink and gulped down your second before narrowing your eyes at the grumpy boy sat next to you. “You better finish your drink, Al. We’ve got some dancing to do.”

“Absolutely not. There’s no way I’m dancing to my own bloody song.” 

“Well then I’m going alone.” 

You blew a raspberry at Alex before skipping onto the dance floor. Alex shook his head at you and crossed his arms. Once near the center of the dance floor but still close enough that you could see Alex, you began to move your hips to the beat of the song. As it picked up, you threw your head back and your arms in the air. In just moments you were dancing and singing your heart out, the few drinks you had previously consumed definitely contributing to your looseness. You stared directly at Alex when the chorus came around. 

Oh the boy’s a slag, 

the best you’ve ever had,

the best you ever had is just a memory 

you pointed to Alex and waved him to join you. He reluctantly finished the rest of his drink, and before he could even stand up you had ran back to him and grabbed his hand to drag him back with you. Alex looked mortified, he absolutely could not believe he was in the middle of the dance floor with you, drunkenly dancing to his own music. You found it extremely fun, though, and just kept on spinning yourself with him and doing your best to make him dance. 

flicking through a little book of sex tips

You flipped your hair and dropped to the floor seductively.

remember when the boys were all electric

 you raised yourself back up and winked at Alex.

now when she’s told she’s gonna get it

I’m guessing she’d rather just forget it

You rolled your hips to the beat and swayed your head from side to side. 

As annoyed Alex was that you had dragged him into the crowd, he seemed thoroughly entertained by your dancing. A small part of you thought he might have been even more entertained knowing that you were enjoying yourself this much to his song. 

You continued to dance around Alex, the alcohol in your system making you a bit flirty. By the end of the song, Alex had actually began dancing and the two of you had quite a bit of fun.

“That was fantastic, Alex, but you’ve got 8 more drinks to go, and I’ve got 6 and a half. So we best get back to the bar.” You tisked. 

“Damn. I thought you might have forgotten about that.” Alex muttered as you both sat back in your seats. Helen immediately chuckled and placed your next drinks in front of you. 

After three more drinks were in the both of you, you decided to start your next little game. 

“Hey, Alex,” you murmured.

Alex gave you a goofy smile. He was definitely already drunk. “hmm?” 

“There’s a girl behind you checking you out.” 

“Which one?”

“The blonde with the tits.”

“She’s pretty fit, right?”

“You should go talk to her.”

“I don’t want to leave you here all alone, Y/N.”

“I was gonna go talk to the tall one over there.”

“He’s been looking at you all night.”

“I’m aware. He’s not being very sly.”

“It’s a bit creepy.”

“I don’t mind. So you’re gonna go talk to the girl or what?” 

“Should I?”

You gave Alex an evil little smirk and his eyes widened. “I know how to make it more interesting.”

“Oh boy. Let me finish another drink now to prepare myself.” Alex poured the rest of his drink down his throat and cracked his neck as if to say game on. “What have you got for me, Y/L/N?”

“Alright. I go talk to skyscraper over there, you go talk to sugar tits. If one of us can get a hook up, the other has to buy them breakfast tomorrow morning.” 

Alex chuckled. “May the sluttiest one win.”

You finished your drink and asked Helen for another (you were now on your sixth of the night and were quite drunk), before strutting over to your tall mystery admirer.

“I was hoping you’d come talk to me,” the man said as you approached him.

“I thought you might, I've been watching you watch me for quite a bit,” You took a sip of your drink and winked at him. 

“What can I say, I like what I see. I’m Alex.”

You choked on your drink. “I’m sorry, your name is what?”

“Alex. And you are?”

You bit your lip to keep from bursting out in laughter. Of course his name is Alex. After taking a moment to compose yourself, you spoke up. “Y/N.”

“Y/N, that’s a pretty name. You’re American, aren’t you?” New Alex slurred. At least he’s as drunk as I am, you thought.

“Born and raised in the states.” 

“You know I’ve never shagged an American girl before,” New Alex purred. He took a step closer to you, and you looked up at him innocently.

“Oh, really?” Your voice was quiet now, he was very close to you and his presence was a bit overwhelming. You could smell his cologne, his whiskey, and his cigarette smoke. 

When you glanced back at Your Alex, he was staring past the blonde and right at you.

“Willing to help me change that?” The man in front of you bent down to whisper in your ear. It gave you goosebumps, but not a good kind. You couldn’t put your finger on it, but something wasn’t quite right. 

“Feeling bold, are we?” you stuttered, now feeling a little more uncomfortable as he continued to get closer to you. 

“Is that a problem?” You could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“I’m not sure.” 

“Should I make you sure?” Alex now had his body pressed against yours and your back pressed against the table behind you, there was no chance at escape. You looked over at Alex, who was still watching you, and gave him a look of distress. He quickly dismissed the blonde, handed dear old Helen some cash, and rushed over to you.

“Y/N, we gotta go. The taxi’s here.” He announced.

New Alex grunted. “Who the fuck is this guy?”

“Alex, this is Alex. Alex, Alex.” You muttered quickly, and squeezed out from between the table and the large man. “I’m sorry to cut our conversation so short, but we really have to get going. Hope you find another American girl to have sex with soon!”

Alex dragged you away from New Alex and the two of you practically ran out of the pub.

“Are you alright? Did he touch you? Did he say something? Do I need to go back in there and kick his arse? Please tell me you’re okay. I told you he was creepy, Y/N.” Alex rambled, and put both of his hands on your shoulders. 

You brushed him off and put your hand on his cheek in reassurance. “I’m alright, Alex. He was just being a bit pushy and I was uncomfortable. Thank you so much for helping me out of that situation.”

“Of course, Y/N. You’re far more important to me than a shag. That girl was uninteresting anyway. I’d much rather be with you.” 

You smiled at Alex and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You’re a sweet boy. Come on, let’s go back to the room. That shitty mattress is calling my name.”

**********

Back at the hotel, both you and Alex decided that it was time to sleep. Your undergarments had all dried, so the two of you had something semi-normal to sleep in, and after getting ready for bed you turned to face Alex. He was already curled up on the left side of the bed.

“I had fun tonight, Al.”

“I did too, Y/N/N.”

You placed a platonic kiss on his forehead before slipping into the bed next to him and turning out the lights. You did your best to warm yourself up under the covers, but you were still freezing.

“Y/N, you’re shivering,” Alex yawned.

“I’ll be okay, just go to sleep,” you cooed and rubbed his bare back. He let out a long exhale at the gesture, which made you blush.

“Do you want my tee shirt? It won’t help much but it’s better than just that lacy number you have on.”

Alex’s words send shivers down your spine. The thought of being in a hotel room with Alex Turner, in the same bed as him, in his shirt, made you hot to the touch.

“Sure, Alex. Thank you.” You whispered. He sat up, reached over onto the floor to pick the shirt up, and smiled weakly when he handed it to you. You slipped it on over your head and giggled. Its smell was intoxicating, it’s as if you were wearing Alex Turner. “I feel much better.”

When you looked up at Alex, he had a stupid smirk on his face. His eyes were different than usual, more dark and intense. He was staring you up and down, but diverted his eyes when he caught you looking. “Oh- It’s no problem, I wasn’t going to wear it and I don’t want you shivering and keeping me up all night.”

“Right. Good night, Alex.” You yawned, and snuggled back into the bed.

“Good night, Y/N.”

Liam is doing live shows , zayn has a single out , niall has a project that it will be announced tomorrow, harry has golden MV coming soon they’re all feeding their fans except louis :( i’m just a bit sad louis could make always you a summer single or he had a few months chance to make a new song but there’s nothing , we all are staying at home bored just asking for something from our idol but there’s nothing . He has not posted anything on Instagram since July! He was not active on Twitter for months for absolutely no reason, he only came back bc we won awards for him and made his album N.1 again. He’s becoming like harry ! he has a new label but he’s not talking abt it nore telling us what’s up with his solo career ! Fans keep tagging him and asking him to post a selfie but he’s ignoring us I don’t think we ask too much right ? I feel like stanning louis makes me happy but also makes so sad it’s always feel like things are not right or not enough idk if you understand me ? i’m just disappointed that louis is not doing anything for his fans all he does is staying at home and watching football and tweet abt his fav band 🙄 i think he just doesn’t care abt what his fans wants at all sorry if this sounds rude I just feel this way and i’m tired of waiting :(

i’m sorry but i have to disagree. i think louis taking time during a pandemic and after his first tour was postponed is more than acceptable? we all miss him, but when attitudes begin to change because he’s not living up to fans standards and giving us content when certain fans want it..... it shifts over to elitism and acting like your idol owes you anything when he. doesn’t ya know? he’s a human being like us all, and if you’re gonna fault him for not being active right now and comparing it to the others— then i don’t know how to help you because it seems like you have a weird artist/fan relationship dynamic that you live by that isn’t okay. of course we’re bored. of course we’re starving for louis content. but that doesn’t mean we have a privilege to demand things from him and then getting upset when he doesn’t deliver. like i always say, we have no idea what he’s doing BTS that will come out later on. and honestly, even if he isn’t doing anything— that’s still fine. stop putting pressure on him and feeling as if you deserve his time and his content when you think it’s owed. leave him alone and let him be right now. this attitude drives me nuts. anyone who even remotely knows louis knows how much he loves his fans. he shows that anytime he makes an appearance. so, i’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted to hear, but i’m just exhausted of this mindset. louis will do things when he wants/can. until then, respect it and respect him.

Italy brings the rock’n’roll youth of tomorrow to Rotterdam 2021

It’s the final day of doing my yet again botched attempt at a review series and I’ve been dying to post my gigantic write-up for my newly beloved Italy, at the top of the bookies, darling of all hearts, ready to rock Eurovision, and even more! Vai vai~

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Representing them this year is Måneskin, a band made up of four - singer and possibly the hottest motherfucker to grace the planet Earth Damiano, guitarist Thomas, drummer Ethan, and the cherry on top - bassist Victoria, whose half-Danish heritage is the reason Måneskin is called Måneskin (= Moonshine). They thought of this name at a “battle of the bands” that they won, thinking they might as well change it to something different, but in the end... say it with me now

They have known each other since highschool, made a band in 2016, won the “battle of the bands”, started out making a living as buskers in the streets of Rome, from which they gradually grew through playing small gigs, and later tried out for X Factor Italia season 11, on which they came 2nd.

They went on to release an EP titled after their debut single of the name of the song above, including some of their X Factor covers, and later on got to get big through releasing an album, getting it certified all kinds of goodnesses, having singles from that album be popular, even releasing a documentary of themselves... they’ve done so much in life and they’re only 20-22 years old... aw man, the life is just ahead of them, for them to be so young and win Sanremo on their first try. (And I’ve always wanted them for Eurovision ever since I was aware of their existence, because their music is very nice, and they just feel like charming human beings. So imagine my joy seeing them announced for Sanremo 2021? And them WINNING months later??? man what kind of luck do I have even if just for a year lmao <333)

“Zitti e buoni”, the last song title alphabetically this year, is purely of the band’s making, and the lyrics are talking about not abiding the rules in general, how they’re out of their minds but they’re not like “them”, and how people talk but don’t know what they’re talking at all.

REVIEW

IT’S A PRETTY CRAZY GOOD ROCK SONG AMEN HALLELUJAH OPRAH WOOOOOOO

wbk I love it. Yeah sure it might be composited of something that sounds like standard rock riffs and what not, but it’s the ENERGY that goes into it that gets me more excited for this than for Finland, a fellow rock song of this year’s final.

Damiano’s vocals have the specific kind of rockstar tinge to them, and they’re very complimenting to the song. The way he says everything is beautiful, the “e buonasera signore e signori” line in particular is just a moment that shows the beginning of power somehow, I don’t know. The chorus is great, eventhough it’s just one line repeated but it changes the pronoun each time (going from “I’m out of my mind” to “you’re out of your mind” to “we’re out of my mind”) - MAGICAL.

And the bridge. YES, the bridge. Along with the outro it’s the best part of the song. The chord progression. The lines repeated on that bridge. The emotions going on. The delivery of the lines of the emotion. It’s a convincing little bridge, to the point that it sounds just as great with violins! Wish they brought one, because according to Love Love Peace Peace, nothing screams winner quite like a violin.

God damn to the Måneskinsters pump this song up to the maximum. It was originally a ballad song, and I think that’s for the better for them to present it as a rock song, because a Sanremo ballad in a pool of Sanremo ballads... unless it stands out according to demoscopic & press juries, and there seems to be a no better option at hand that could make them stand out other than just sending a classy ballad, it just fizzles out in a spectacularly lame fashion. Måneskin’s one real shot through was with a song that would make them stand out, and they did it, and they’re here.

Everyone has put in their work, their passion, their skills into this, and it shows off in spades. Måneskin themselves are fantastic and chill human beings, who too, just like Flo Rida, get to enjoy how crazy amazing Eurovision experience is. And for that I salute them with my whole heart. Whatever they do tonight on Eurovision, they’ll leave a lasting mark in it. And for a good reason.

Also an Italian Eurovision edit that doesn’t suck, once again, yay! (In their defense, they didn’t have a whole lot to work with, so they released theirs early - just a few trimmings here and there, and a lyric change so that they skate by EBU easier with their anti-swearing policies. Gahddamn swearing~)

Approval factor: FUCK YES Follow-up factor: The funny thing about this is that last year their entry is about making noise but the song was a love ballad, this year it’s a song titled “shut up and behave” while dressed in a loudest motherfucking musical setting lol. Fuck the rules! It was solely on the Sanremo’s last year’s winner Diodato not to send an entry he thought that would fit for Sanremo, and that’s good on him - he can return next year replenished as all hell, and maybe aim for the trophy again? wishful thinking? aaaa. Anyway on a personal scale “Zitti e buoni” is a marvelous follow-up from “Fai rumore”, even if skipping 2020 entirely, especially after “Soldi”, which was already a fab follow-up after “Non mi avete fatto niente”, and even from “Occidentali’s Karma” on. And so it is subjectively a good follow-up. Italy SLAYS. AQ factor: As I write this, the odds are very much in their favour, if not a little bit too persuaded over the fact that Måneskin gave a good rock performance and knew what they would be doing, or it’s just that the Italians like overbetting for their acts way too damn much. But nevertheless, I just wanna hope for them to break the expectations people set on rock songs in Eurovision and SMASH themselves a victory. Or a top 2. Or a top 5-10. Anything will do, goddamn.

NF CORNER

Well, I promised that I will talk about Sanremo in a NF corner, because this is the first year I actually cared to watch it myself, unlike when I would’ve sided with someone whose reviewing style I love in not caring to watch it, and usually just check all the songs on the last day lol.

One thing about Sanremo that I sorely underestimate is that a handful of artists on there can come across as very versatile, and the one song you loved of one genre they presented several years ago, can be completely different and leave you baffled for days if you’re not very familiarized with their discography and the Italian music scene in general. Which now I’m going to pay an extreme amount of attention towards following Sanremo 2022 on out because hot damn did I never see gems like Willie Peyote coming!

Did I call him a gem over his entry? Yes, somehow. Am I even sure if I’m being serious?

I think I can somewhat agree when I say that for the international fam watching Sanremo at least, “Mai dire mai (La locura)” was a major expectation destroyer, at least for the crowd whose main lookouts in a lineup like this years were Ermal Meta, Annalisa, Arisa, etc. You know they’re gonna bring a ballad, and their ballads are usually decent, but what about the unexpected? That’s where a handful of acts, including Willie, comes in for me. The bass hooks in the second the song starts. The beat is minimalistic but strong enough to slap. The steady rap flow is mesmerizing, paired with that somewhat specifically Italian(?) vocal timbre. The chorus is greatly catchy, and it is a sung chorus, with this song still being largely a rap song. The electric-esque guitar soundwaves interspersed throughout the song are magnificent and magical, and on the chorus they even make a constant melody riff that repeats and may get annoying on multiple listens, but I still adore them. I really love the bridge as well and all that goes into it. A fantastic surprise of the season for me personally.

Now I figure that the lyrics may hinder the enjoyment for some, especially the points raised in some lines that may seem questionable and shady (if this went to Eurovision and got a “twerking” comment on Youtube, I will not be surprised if the description of choice is “patriarchic twerking”), but am I supposed to be fully offended at some points of it if I’m not its target audience, although I see some of what I do nowadays in those lines? “Mai dire mai” is probably dedicated to the Italian media and the Italian trends and what not. I’m not even disappointed it didn’t win, because if it went to Eurovision, it would’ve likely been met like a lesser “Occidentali’s Karma” - catchy song with lyrics that fly over listener’s heads which might as well be very accidentally mocking how we live our lives.

“Mai dire mai” has just less of a memorability-in-history value and no memorable gimmicks (Francesco had a gorilla, what is it visually going for on Willie’s performance?), besides, it would’ve suffered even WORSE post-Eurovision-edit than OK has - a lot of the bits and bobs that pass me by but when I notice them they make a really great entry, but other than the (presumably copyrighted) removal of a sample from a TV series (spoken by a fish character, nonetheless), what else is there to remove???? With Eurovision’s rules specifying that brands (Spotify, TikTok) and swearwords (lots of the good old Italian ones that Italian radios would digitally scratch out to emphasize that there were a LOT in the second verse) can’t be sung live, the song loses some of its lyrical charm. And you can’t just go around the song like Francesco Gabbani chopping off entire verses full of content full of witty lyrics and a reference to Chanel in order to present the more lyrically singable-along-to lines and not let go of the long chorus to whom his gorilla can dance to. “Mai dire mai” is RIFE with lyrics, that’s what a rap song is. It would have absolutely fallen apart.

Also no one paged it as a potential Eurovision winner during Sanremo, at least seriously, and it doesn’t have much that would have clicked with the future Eurovision generation and contestants when they would be asked to name their favourite Eurovision song of all times. In a world where from Italy they really like “Grande amore” and “Soldi” and even sometimes could name “Occidentali’s Karma”, is there really a place for “Mai dire mai (La locura)” over “Zitti e buoni”? Who would be naming that song as their favourite of all time? If you raised a hand, you lie to yourself, because that would’ve been me.

Now I don’t know how many of the Tumblr fam would draw ire at me putting out paragraphs worth of me being ultra positive towards this song, because as I’ve learned, there’s an ironic and unironic audience for Mr. Peyote on Tumblr especially, but for me I guess it was pretty worthy, also a thing I was finally able to yell off my chest since, and now I finally said it, I will continue streaming “Mai dire mai (La locura)” in peace.

He might’ve not won Sanremo, but his song won the equally important Mia Martini Critics Award, and also, my heart. Rest in broken shards of the Boris aquarium, my sweet cynical prince~

Måneskin were my 2nd after him so I’m equally happy they won. But what about my other favourites?

• Extraliscio ft. Davide Toffolo - Bianca luce nera A diluted version of the liscio genre, still makes for a very fascinatingly catchy and swaying song with lots of great instruments that are violins and a clarinet. What I figure is kinda a love song. Their performances were also great, with lots of dancers on stage and a genuinely great fun to be had, and you may remember them more after their performance in cover night, which was titled “Rosamunda”. They were the ones with their main singer’s guitar spinning for whatever reason that was there to make their song catchy, I guess.

• Lo Stato Sociale - Combat Pop A little bit of a far cry from their glory heydays with 2nd place in Sanremo 2018, but they returned with an equally banging song and an amazing set of performance chaos they brought in each and every time - dedicating their first night’s one to making a performance to not forget (and being the ones of two to reference the great Bugo&Morgan incident from last year, the other being Willie Peyote), the second competitive one was for referencing politics, and so on.

• Colapesce & Dimartino - Musica leggerissima Sweet melancholic song with the shades of Sebastien Tellier kinda sound, this song may seem jolly at first, but the especially melancholic undertones denote that there’s something else going on. It’s actually about depression, as that’s what the term “musica leggerissima” (very light music) means. But it still found a heart in Italian listeners and the Italian world finally woke up to how great Antonio Di Martino and Lorenzo “Colapesce” Urciullo are, and a handful of viewers were slightly heartbroken to see it not place in the superfinal top 3. Who knows if they would’ve actually won over Måneskin. I just know that their rollerskater girlie is so damn fine~

Bugo has also returned but I think his redemption arc started off the wrong foot, as his return entry, “E invece si”, was a bloated showtune ballad and got obnoxious to listen to at part. I declared to myself that night when I first heard the new entry that regarding on what made “Sincero” great, I side with Morgan.

And a special shout out to Ghemon, whose 2019 song was more than just a “purple rose” unlike I noted on a last proper Italian entry review. I don’t know what expectations I had for him, but I certainly wanted to love “Momento perfetto” more at the first listen, which was also somewhat of a show-tuney piece, but with a bit more funk and pizzazz, also Ghemon was VERY much vibing with his song, and that made me feel great for the few other performances of it that I saw the following days. It’s definitely a grower song, and around 2 months after Sanremo I fell into a bit of a rabbit-hole of his earlier music discovering, and I may be a bit exaggerating but, give Ghemon a bit more of acknowledgement and a stellar enough song, and with a little bit of magic touch, I can maybe see him lifting the Golden Lion trophy one day. Don’t ask why. (also lovely music video for his 2021 entry, which replaces continuous spinning in an aesthetic area to everybody moving their body in a diner (hopefully with everyone in the MV tested and been negative for long enough for the MV to actually happen).)

NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)

There’s so much needed to be discussed about there. So I’ll restrict myself to the moments that I remember and cherish:

• Rosario Fiorello. Just. Him.

• And the gentleman next to him, Achille Lauro.

tw // body piercing

Belarus 2018 could never

Fiorello and Lauro are perfect matches to each other’s worlds of imagination, and I was more than ever glad to see so much creativity coming from each one of them, a host and a nightly interval act respectively.

• Once again, “Rosamunda Medley” by Extraliscio, I didn’t watch the cover night in its entirety but I think it’s good enough of a medley if it got a 3rd place from the cover night from the orchestra!

• Sanremo Newcomers section of this year. I liked or vibed to almost every song out of the 8, and I’m decently happy with the winner, but if there’s one big shoutout I really want to make, is to “Regina” by Davide Shorty, for it’s such a cozy funky little love song that always makes me happy when I hear it. My personal winner preference, but I don’t mind Davide getting 2nd! For as long as he gets to place 1st in a future main Sanremo event hihihihihi

• Diodato proving himself to be a dance king at the beginning of his “Che vita meravigliosa” performance, my good Twitter friend made a bunch of videos where he dances to a lot of songs, as per request, check them out and you won’t forget it.

• Since Sanremo 2021 got rid of the audience as per COVID regulations and much to Amadeus’s dread, there ended up quite a handful of audience related memes. Such as the penis balloon et al.

• Remember when Sanremo 2021 audience was supposed to be whisked away in a cruise ship for safety measures? Pepperidge Farm remembers

• SESSO IBUPROFENEEEEEEEE

The guy that sang this song actually has the same birthday as me, so in my eyes, I feel like he has some charm to it. I’m biased lol sorry

There’s way too many more but I am afraid of flooding my post beyond your readability interest. Let’s hope that, in an event of Italy’s victory or non, we’ll get to see an even more iconic event of Sanremo emerge come the future. <3

ANY LAST WORDS?

Måneskin’s big goal was to rock Eurovision, and I think they’ve greatly accomplished that by just... doing what they do best, and that is, rocking. They leave energy lasting for days.

In bocca al lupo, fam. You’ll nail it, and even if you don’t win, Italy shouldn’t not hail you as national heroes after it’s all over.

catch up meme

tagged by @idrelle, thank u idri this is a charming meme! i’m. adding a category because i’ve been cooking a lot for Comfort haha. i’m gonna tag @galpalaven @leothelionsaysgrrrr @lesquatrechevrons @jarino and anyone who wants to chat about how shit’s going, with no pressure at all :3

Rules: Tag however many people you want to know better/catch up with and then answer these questions!

THREE SHIPS:

god i have not been shipping ANYTHING lately lol. 90% of what i’ve been doing is dnd and we don’t tend to do dnd romances in my groups, just deep and abiding friendships, which i love with all my heart. that said: - gideon/harrowhark from the locked tomb, HO BOY. things i like: enemies to friends to baroquely romantic acts of sacrifice. i am so stoked for the next book oh MAN - JUN/PARVATI, the outer worlds!! the one-two punch of “parvati is ace” and “parvati and jun are dating” made me swoon, i think i had heart eyes through that entire questline. love my awkward and delightful lesbians!! - as soon as they announced an ME remaster i remembered how much i love shakarian and you can absolutely bet that once that comes out i will be head over heels for my spiky boyfriend again - (i don’t know who you can romance in fallout new vegas but as soon as i figure out how to keep it from crashing all the time, i’m gonna find out) ...and i think about miri and cullen all the time 24/7 shhhh

LAST SONGS LISTENED TO:

i have been listening to three things on repeat depending on what i’m doing: - this really good “firewatch vibes” playlist on spotify, perfect for drawing - hadestown, because leo hates me and likes me to suffer. also because it’s amazing and combines several things i love into one fantastic musical format. also great for drawing, btw!! - getting into knives, the mountain goats. didn’t like it as much at first but it’s grown into a comfort album.

currently listening to SWAMP OPHELIA, indigo girls’ best ever album title. i’ve been trying to listen to more full albums lately!

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

the princess bride lol. and just finished lupin, which was a real nice take on the charismatic-and-principled-thief-does-a-heist genre! i’ve also been just...watching a lot of chill game streams on twitch.

CURRENTLY READING:

i just finished a reread of priory of the orange tree and i’m starting my regular reread of ancillary justice (i reread a lot lol). also i’m a bad librarian and no longer have a library card somehow, so until i get one, i have to subsist on rereads!! this is fine.

CURRENTLY...EATING:

sunday i made the least photogenic and most delicious soup (ash e anar, an iranian split pea and herb soup that i LOVE) and afghani flatbread! it’s grey and sad in new england this time of year so i crave nothing but tasty soups and warm flavors and BREAD, of course. also i made cinnamon rolls. they’re fantastic.

HOW’S IT GOING?

it could be better and it could be so much worse, my dudes!! i will find out very shortly whether or not i can get the surgery i’ve been putting off for 15 years that might fix my back, so that’s...a thing that is happening lol. i’m still endlessly job searching. my country is politically on fire, to say the least, as we all know because US news is inescapable online. family illnesses and injuries abound, altho not covid at least and everybody’s stable. woo?? but also...i finally saw a dang psychiatrist and it turns out even being like, 75% properly medicated is fucking amazing, who knew!! i’ve become a yoga bitch and i’m okay with that now because i can touch my toes with my knuckles and this is great progress for me haha. i make fucking great baguettes now. i finally learned how to draw at a bigger scale so my linework looks good. my cat sleeps on the bed with us now (because we bribe her with a heating pad lol).

some things are good! i hope at least some things are good for all of you too.

Simpson is a Richmond-based singer and rapper who you may also know as Babe Simpson, one-fourth of the Tumblr-born rap collective Barf Troop. They dazed the internet back in the early 2010s with their uncensored, forward-thinking rhymes and aesthetics, and even got the attention of Drake. Though the collective has gone silent in recent years, Simpson has since cultivated her own steady following around her soft, and ruminative tunes. Her latest is 'Cherry Ice Cream Sundae,' a song about "treating ourselves with as much tenderness as we treat everyone else," she says, and is backed by a lush landscape of jazzy guitars and drums — a sound that could be considered a close sibling to the rap lullabies of Noname. Simpson's now sharing the song's peculiar video, which features a charming but eerie cast of marionette puppets. Over email, Simpson explains that she wrote the song after experiencing "a feeling that I’ve always been trying to put into words but I don’t think I was mature enough to be able to sing. I reached my breaking point where I was like, f*ck it, whatever happens, happens, and I’m gonna look on the bright side everywhere I can. I’m going to 'smile because I can.' I actually changed the original opening lyrics from 'The world is in the shitter' to 'Life is kind to who’s kind to it back.' The world has always been in the shitter, but that hasn’t made it any less special or sweet. I think that’s made me much more of a realist. I recorded it tipsy, upside down, hanging off my bed as a freestyle, and it felt so natural saying and listening to it back made me feel so proud." [via NYLON]

Earlier this week, Lana Del Rey revealed the artwork and tracklist for her new album Chemtrails Over The Country Club. Back in October, Del Rey shared the album’s lead single 'Let Me Love You Like A Woman.' It was the first song she shared from the album after postponing its planned September release. Now, she’s sharing the album’s second single and title track. She’s also announced that Chemtrails Over The Country Club will be out March 19. In a lengthy interview with BBC Radio 1 — during which she talked about the Trump insurrection and her album cover controversy — she mentioned that Jack Antonoff produced much of the album, minus 'Yosemite,' which was produced with Rick Nowels. Watch a music video for the album’s title track, directed by BRTHR, above. In a different kind of statement, prior to the release of the 'Chemtrails Over The Country Club' music video, Del Rey explained why she is wearing a cast in it: "When you see my second video for this album, don’t think that the fact I��m wearing a cast is symbolic for anything other than thinking I was still a pro figure skater. I wiped out on my beautiful skates before the video even began after a long day of figure eights and jumps in the twilight of the dezert. Anyways my fracture isn’t that bad kind of goes with my new bucket hat. Thanks to my beautiful family for my gifts." [via Stereogum]

Joining forces for the new uplifting track, G Flip and mxmtoon are sharing new empowerment anthem ‘Queen’, produced by Rostam Batmanglij. "'Queen' was written about the strong women around me, the queens that raised me and the queens I’ve met through my years,” G Flip explains. “My idea of a queen is not necessarily linked to gender; queens come in all forms and walks of life. To me a queen embodies power and strength; they embrace all they are fiercely yet gracefully. The song was written one sunny day in LA, I was chillin on Rostam’s lovely white couch and he turned around to me and said ‘how about we write a song about Queens’ and I replied with ‘F@!K yeah!’. I’m also super stoked to have mxmtoon on the track with me, she is an absolute queen. I first was introduced to her when I was trying to find ukulele chords to a Khalid song and found her cover on YouTube years ago. She makes awesome music and her voice has such a cruisy timbre to it so I was thrilled to have her jump on 'Queen' with me. She is also an avid croc lover and part of the LGBTQIA+ community, so obviously it just made sense!” mxmtoon adds, “So happy to be a part of ‘Queen’ with G! she and Rostam were such a joy to work with and so so much fun to collaborate with on creative as well. I’m so glad that it’s still possible to make art and music with someone even when they’re on the other side of the world, and I’m lucky that I got the opportunity to feature on G’s song. ‘Queen’ is a power anthem for any person, and I’m so excited for people to love it as much as we do!” [via DIY]

With her hotly-anticipated new album Magic Mirror out now, Pearl Charles gave us our latest teaser of what to expect earlier this week, sharing new glitzy bop ‘Only For Tonight’. “‘Only for Tonight’ tells the story of a currently bygone era of wild nights out on the town - the highs and lows of one night stands and the crashes of the morning after,” she explains. “The music video, directed by Bobbi Rich, leans into those excesses, paying a sparkly homage to the late-night musical television shows of the 70’s, from Soul Train to The Midnight Special, as well as the gauzy, Vaseline’d lens of ABBA’s music videos. With an added sprinkling of VHS special effects, you’re likely to feel like you’re watching a home-taped recording of a lost episode of Top of the Pops.” [via DIY]

Alt-pop trailblazer dodie has shared her new single 'Hate Myself' in full. Everything the songwriter touches seems to turn into melodic gold, with her debut album Build A Problem landing this Spring. Out on March 5, it's led by new single 'Hate Myself', which made its bow as Annie Mac's Hottest Record In The World. It's an apt title, with this instantly-viral moment offering an "inner monologue" that touches on some of dodie's inner-most feelings. The song depicts "someone who seems to find themselves in relationships of any kind with people who deal with their feelings internally - unfortunately resulting in assuming the issue is with them." dodie co-directed the video alongside Sammy Paul, shooting at the Cornish seaside village Polperro. The pair "excitedly landed on the silly idea of the training leading up to becoming a post-lady, and thoroughly enjoyed planning the many bizarre exercises she would have to perfect. Our excellent Art Director, Louis Grant, worked on bringing her home and training station to life. Though jogging on cliff tops in the rain, carrying a large sack and slipping in the mud was certainly cold and exhausting, I think I preferred it to slowly feeling sicker, licking stamps on a swaying boat by the Excel." [via Clash]

Berlin-based indie five-piece People Club are back with new single and video 'Francine', following on from their last release 'Lay Down Your Weapons', which focused on police brutality.  The new single 'Francine' tackles the topics of addiction and lovelessness. In the words of the band: "The song speaks from the voice of a lamenting partner whose lover (Francine) is helplessly addicted to drugs. Francine lost interest in her relationship with the narrator a long time ago. It's a song about commitment and how love can fade away leaving only wickedness behind."  Regarding the visuals, the band said "The 'Francine' video is a play on the old idiom of 'being your own worst enemy'. A phrase which quite beautifully captures the inner critic which we know so well, especially during the course of the pandemic - we've had to learn to each give ourselves a break. The video was shot in the depth of the harsh Berlin winter, in the depth of the pandemic." Director Felix Spitta added "I love the band and I love the different personalities. It is always heaps of fun working on creative output together. Riding through Berlin only with bikes and all the film equipment in the freezing cold almost felt like a masochistic idea from Saxon. It's inspiring to be surrounded by so many creative minds.”

Pale Waves are back with 'Easy', the third single to be shared from their highly-anticipated second album Who Am I?. Lead vocalist Heather Baron-Gracie describes the new track as "a song about how love can change your whole entire perspective on life itself. It’s saying ‘being in love with you is so easy, you finally make sense in my life because nothing did before'." The new single is accompanied by a James Slater-directed video that shows Baron-Gracie performing at a Tim Burton/medieval-style wedding in an abandoned church. Baron-Gracie adds, "I wore a wedding dress throughout and we shot the video in an old abandoned church. I’m really inspired by the gothic medieval aesthetic and at the time I was thinking of the video I was watching a lot of Tim Burton films whose creativity really inspires me." Pale Waves' second album will follow their 2018 debut LP My Mind Makes Noises. Baron-Gracie says of their upcoming album, "For me, music and art is for people not to feel so alone and isolated. I want to be that person my fans look up to and find comfort in." [via the Line Of Best Fit]

The official video for Zoe Wees’ new single, 'Girls Like Us,' is online now. Like the song, the clip sends a message of togetherness and solidarity to girls around the world who are feeling the pressures of society. Zoe Wees says, “It’s not always good to think about how you look to the rest of the world. It’s much more important to think about how you feel inside. It is not easy to call yourself beautiful but being confident helps you to accept and love yourself.” The 18-year-old Hamburg, Germany-based artist adds, “We’re walking through a world with blinded eyes. At the end of the day, we all go to bed without make-up with the ugliest clothes and wake up with the messiest hair on earth.”

Julien Baker has shared a new taste of her forthcoming album Little Oblivions by way of a new single ‘Hardline’. Julien says, “A few years ago I started collecting travel ephemera again with a loose idea of making a piece of art with it. I had been touring pretty consistently since 2015 and had been traveling so much that items like plane tickets and hotel keycards didn't have much novelty anymore. So I saved all my travel stuff and made a little collage of a house and a van out of it. I wanted to incorporate it into the record and when we were brainstorming ideas for videos we came across Joe Baughman and really liked his work so we reached out with the idea of making a stop-motion video that had similar aesthetic qualities as the house I built did. I don't know why I have the impulse to write songs or make tiny sculptures out of plane tickets. But here it is anyway: a bunch of things I've collected and carried with me that I've re-organized into a new shape.” The video for ‘Hardline’ was directed by Joe Baughman, who notes: “Man, even after having spent 600 hours immersed in ‘Hardline’ and having listened to it thousands of times, I am still moved by it. It was a fun and ambitious challenge creating something that could accompany such a compelling song. The style of the set design, inspired by a sculpture that Julien created, was especially fun to work in. I loved sifting through magazines, maps, and newspapers from the 60s and 70s and finding the right colors, shapes, and quotes to cover almost every surface in the video.”

Teenage Joans are staying true to their world and unveiling 'Something About Being Sixteen', a new single that's sure to cement their 2021 as victorious. It's the perfect successor to 'Three Leaf Clover' and a track that makes it two-for-two for Teenage Joans, further capturing the excitement and energy within Cahli and Tahlia as they trade catchy riffs and thriving choruses with the combo of light-heartedness and intimateness that seems to define Teenage Joans' work, and how they're able to look in at themselves (and out at the world around them) through a lens that keeps it fun and digestable. "'Something About Being Sixteen' is undoubtedly Teenage Joans' great take on the classic coming of age rock tune, generally closing our live sets with audiences singing along every time without fail," the duo say on the single. [via Pilerats]

Kate Hollowell took a risk going by the moniker Number One Popstar when she released her debut single 'Psycho.' However, Hollowell didn’t mind if that choice set her up for failure or not. She goes with the flow. Luckily, that mentality has advanced her even farther. Now, Number One Popstar releases her second single, 'I Hate Running.' New Year’s resolutions are, most of the times, created for the wrong reasons. It’s also no surprise that majority of people’s goals center around exercising and weight loss. 'I Hate Running', however, challenges that mindset, satirizing the toxic nature of exercise industry and diet culture. Hollowell said herself, “The song explores facing the hard, emotional work instead of the physical.  I really don’t enjoy running, and I wanted to troll the exercise industry and write an anti-motivational song.” In terms of sound, 'I Hate Running' shares similar vibes to her first single with its classic 80s pop of saturated synths. But, this time, there’s a hint of disco with the zealous psychedelic guitar and electric drums and keys. The interludes consist of a symbolic, robotic, and almost sinister snippet from a workout instructor. It all complements well with Hollowell’s escapist lyrics. Even though the lyrics say otherwise, the track’s sound might just spark that motivation to workout or dance, doing mindful movement that makes us feel good. Exercise should never feel like a punishment, and Number One Popstar is here to remind us. She makes us want to stick it to the exercise industry, proving to it that we will only work out for the right reasons. [via Earmilk]

Alt-pop riser Chloe Rodgers has shared her new video 'The Algea' in full. The Nottingham based talent sparkled in 2020 in spite of the pervasive gloom, releasing two startling singles. Her third release could be her best yet, with 'The Algea' hitting streaming services just before Christmas. The video captures those mid-winter chills, while providing a platform for Chloe to express herself. Constructed alongside creative director Kate Lomas, it was shot at Newstead Abbey in Nottingham. Chloe comments... "I wanted to use a music box in the video to represent being objectified and getting stuck in the same cycles, as that’s largely what the song is about. I wrote the song when I was 18, but didn’t add the verse at the end about claiming my power back until a couple of years later when I felt a bit stronger. We tried to reflect this in the video too with the Chloe in white sort of protecting the other Chloe of the past." Kate Lomas adds: "This was such a joy to watch come together, the video concept is based around the idea that Chloe is the character in a music box, she’s the performer that’s spinning round on an endless cycle for other people’s entertainment. The video tells the tale of Chloe definitely breaking this cycle and no longer playing this role." [via Clash]

Jaguar Jonze has announced her ANTIHERO EP will be released on April 16 via Nettwerk Records. With the EP announcement, Deena shares the official music video for her latest single, 'ASTRONAUT,' the follow-up to two previously released videos for 'DEADALIVE' and 'MURDER'. Each of the five music videos for the forthcoming ANTIHERO EP will come together through bold-palette videos that transform into an antihero character “in a cyberpunk, anime, futuristic, graphic, almost sci-fi world,” says Deena. Deena adds, “as ‘ASTRONAUT’ delves into my anxiety, I wanted the film to reflect that in a simple way that helped portray how my anxiety can sometimes manifest - a contradiction between feeling lost in vast spaces and trapped in claustrophobic spaces. I had a specific idea in mind, which meant that I had to undergo stunt training with professionals and learn how to maneuver in a wire harness. Most of the video had to be shot in a single take because of the stunts' nature in safety preparation, time consumption, and impact on the body. I'm still recovering from the bruises, but it was all worth it, and the team was amazing in pulling it all together. I'm proud of this one as it is 3 minutes of my rawest vulnerability, visually interpreted. I'm also finally ready to share it.” 'ASTRONAUT' is the sound of Deena liberating herself from a lifelong battle with anxiety.  “It is a human trait. It’s how we survive in the wild,” she says. “We’re all wired as humans to be quite anxious.  As females more so, because we’re more susceptible to danger.”

Rising star Mulay shares the smoking visuals for her new single, ‘Antracyte’. It’s the culminating release in a three-part video series from the Berlin-based alternative R&B singer-songwriter/producer/artist, ahead of her highly anticipated EP, which comes out at the end of the month via Groenland Records. Mulay explains about the single, “'ANTRACYTE' is the intro and title track to my debut EP. It’s the soundtrack to the birth of a villain and captures the moment of complete honesty to yourself about the awareness of doing wrong by the ones you love while feeling the inability to turn around. It’s about the desire to taste forbidden fruits, to cross and explore what lies beyond the line and the self-empowering feeling of playing by your own rules defeating the fear of consequences and the power of moral concepts. 'ANTRACYTE' tells a story of contradicting emotions, a story of love, lust, pain and a longing for more. It’s about facing your own darkness and sins, about self-revelation, emancipation and about paying its price, resigning to your fate.”

Only a band like shallow pools could make a blast of 'ice water' sound refreshing and necessary in the dead of New England winter. But the Massachusetts indie-pop group is usually pushing against the current of what we’d normally expect, and now the quartet hits us with a dose of cold reality through their new single and video. 'ice water' is a vivid new single that confronts the mental health struggles brought on by quarantine and isolation, and even the shallow pools aesthetic has reflected this by shifting from bright glowing neons to a more subdued color palette of beiges and browns. Call it a sign of the times, and call 'ice water' the sound of now; upbeat and jovial on the surface, a comet of pop smarts and hooks, but with the darker shine that resides in our lives when we’re positioned away from the screens and digital scenes. As Glynnis Brennan sings “Every day’s the same and / There’s no breaking out / Like I’m stuck here / Going through the motions now” well, we feel that. shallow pools describe “ice water” as “a departure from the music we’ve made in the past, but it’s the perfect bridge between our old and new sound.” That is certainly the case, and 'ice water' continues to showcase the group as one of New England’s sharpest, following a string of 2020 singles that included pop standouts like 'Haunted' and 'Afterlight'. “We wrote the song with our friend and producer, Chris Curran, and learned a lot about the type of music we want to be making in the process,” the band adds. “The song is about the impact that the state of the world has had on our mental health, specifically in the last year. We’re excited to share it and hope that anyone who has had similar experiences will find some comfort in knowing that there are others who can relate.” [via Vanyaland]

Fish Tank 95 Interview with Hoshino Hidehiko Reporter: Okubo Yuka Translation: Lola

 What did you do for New Year's?

I relaxed so that now I can I work on recording the songs I wrote.

Really? So you didn't get sick or anything?

Not this year. So far I'm in good health *smiles*.

I'm glad to hear it. I'd like to take a look back at "THE DAY IN QUESTION 2019" .

As you know, the first day was at a new venue in Takasaki. I'd say it's been a long time since we played in such a beautiful venue like that one in Takasaki. It felt fresh since it's a music center.

I heard that creating the general framework for the set list was up to you this time, Hoshino-san, so how did you find working on it?

I decided the general idea, yes, but ultimately things get changed around as we rehearse and fiddle with it. I was thinking about what would create a good atmosphere for the show.

It felt a little different than your usual "THE DAY IN~" because it had such a powerful opening.

Probably because we opened with "Muma - The Nightmare" . . . . . .because both Yuuta and I said it would be good to start with it *smiles*, and I think due to that it creates that profound heaviness that flows through the rest. Which is good to do from time to time, I think.

I was also impressed by the two winter themed songs, "Snow white" and "SILENT NIGHT".

Of course that was the point of including these two songs in the performance. I mean they weren't the main part of the show this time but, I felt like it was incredibly important to have that sort of segment.

You played "SILENT NIGHT" with a new arrangement, so how did you end up getting Yokoyama-san to do it?

Up till now, "SILENT NIGHT" has felt somber and lonely to me so I planned on asking Yoko-chan to do something about that. . . . . .why? Did he say something yesterday about it?

So you're saying you're the one who wanted Yokoyama-san do to something with the sound, and that it was your suggestion all along, Hoshino-san?

Yes, exactly. Why? What did he say?

Imai-san said that he told Yokoyama-san, "I know Hide asked you to do something for him, but I don't really think this is what he meant."

Right, yes, ok. I knew he'd say that *smiles*. That's basically it *smiles*. But well, it's ok you know. We worked it out amicably in the end.

What feeling were you trying to go for Hoshino-san?

I just wanted something with more guitar *smiles*.

It was your first time performing "Datenshi" live, so how did you find the audience's reaction?

It went well, didn't it? As for their reaction . . . . .I'm not sure you know, I couldn't really see too well. Because I was trying to play it well *smiles*. Since it was the first time for me right, so I was worried about doing it properly.

You changed each set list up a little bit, and I understand that you did this while you were rehearsing?

Right. We change things up as we do them. Especially on the second day, we fiddle with the encores to get them to suit the mood of the day.

It was also your first time performing in Yoyogi Stadium so did that end up changing things for you because of nervousness?

Maybe. I mean Anii's always saying stuff like that after the show. "I screwed up!" *smiles* But for me that's just part of doing lives you know. We're also used to the feeling of Budoukan and its basin like shape, which lets us see people even if they're on the sides and it feels incredible you know, whereas in Yoyogi the seats stretch out far and flat so in the end, what you feel is the distance so I felt like it would have been more enjoyable to share a closer space together.

Any incidents happen during the tour?

Not this time, so I'd say it all felt good overall. I don't really remember any particular highs and lows, at least nothing more than usual I guess. Maybe it was because of the mood we created with the song choice . . . . . .that somehow nothing really bad happened. I guess I should make the set list next time too*smiles*.

Since it's best when there are no incidents *smiles*. At the end of the show you announced your upcoming activities, it was a nice way to close 2019.

I'm glad we were able to get people excited.  Now I have to do my best to make good on that.

You began recording the album yesterday beginning with your music, Hoshino-san.

Right. But we're only on day two.

Regarding the album, I wonder have you spoken at all about the concept with Imai-san?

Well I mean, I guess he talked to me about how we'll have a theme this time again. Why? What did he say?

He posted on his instagram about how the new theme is seven characters, but he wouldn't say what it was.

Sounds like him.

While working on 'Datenshi', he mentioned  that the key words were "deviating from the norm", so I was wondering if maybe he was doing something different yet again?

Well, I guess that's sort of it? But you know "deviating from the norm" is not seven characters. I dunno, I'm not sure what he meant. Since he hasn't told any of us either *smiles*. Ah well, guess we'll have to wait and see.

Were you consciously thinking about "deviating from the norm" as well with your pieces, Hoshino-san?

If anything I'd say one of the songs might seem like it's "deviating from the norm" but I didn't make it that way, it's CUBE-kun (CUBE JUICE) who is doing that because I had requested it of him. We're in the midst of making it more intriguing. I also have a nice medium melody too, so look forward to that.

OK *smiles*. Will CUBE-san help in arranging both of your songs, Hoshino-san?

I have CUBE-kun, and I already have YOW-ROW-kun helping me for another song.

How did that come about?

By chatting with Tanaka-san (their director). I had asked if he knew anyone who could draw something even more interesting from the songs I wrote.

Yesterday, Yuuta-san recorded his bass parts, so does that mean you're recording your guitar parts today?

Yes. I'll record my parts today, and then take a little break. Because we still haven't put in the lyrics yet, but I think it's shaping out to be quite good. I just can't tell for sure because I don't have the full picture yet. But I do have a hunch I know which direction it will go in.

Imai-san plays the guitar in your songs as well, doesn't he?

Yeah, I mean that's the plan but . . . . . .but I bet he said something like, "It might be better if I don't play in his songs" right? *smiles*

He didn't say that, but he did say something like, "I bet Hide's just gonna play all the guitar parts anyway".

Why would he say that? *smiles* I mean, I did think that but still. Well whatever, it will be fine because our  recording schedule has all been decided on *smiles*.

Has this sort of thing happened before?

It has, yes. Things are fine right now when it comes to recording, but in the past there would be times when he'd tell me he was too busy composing to come into the studio so I'd just be like, "Well, guess I'll do it all then." I think that was during our Ariola years.

Do you enjoy working on the creative process of the music?

It feels like the complete opposite of doing lives. But yes, I do enjoy it, and find it fun.

Since you've only really just begun recording, I'm guessing you don't really have any stories to tell about it yet. However, I did happen to hear something about liver and Chinese chives.

That was quick, I ate that yesterday *smiles*.  We don't do take out here too often you know. But yesterday we thought let's order curry, so I decided to get everyone's orders, and like an hour later I go to make the call and get told, "it's too much, we can't handle such a big order." I hadn't thought it was that big of an order *smiles*.  By then I'm absolutely starving~ and end up changing our order to Chinese food. So that's what happened *smiles*.

Thank you for sharing such a precious story *smiles*. Beginning in May you will have fanclub only lives. I'm guessing you'll be doing new content by then, like playing "Luna Park"?

Ah, yeah, I guess we will be. But you know right now a lot of events had to be suspended so I'm not sure how things will be by then. I'm worried it might have to be postponed as well[1].

I know. I'm praying the situation will be safe enough to do it so would you please give a message to everyone who is looking forward to it?

I pray that we will be able to have our fanclub and mobile member tour in safety, and in the meantime I will be spending my days recording. Please look forward to it.

  [1] The fanclub only lives were indeed postponed, however they have tentatively been rescheduled for the period of February - April 2021. Please consult the official BUCK-TICK site for further information.