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#theres just something in my that HAS to draw her every halloween

orphicrose · 2 years

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𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚁𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝙰𝚛𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜// 𝙼𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗 𝙰𝚞

𝙰𝙽- sorry theres less for Ekko and Vander I didn’t have as many for them ^^

𝙸𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚜 - Mylo, Clagger, Powder, Vi, Vander and Ekko!

꧁--------------------------------------------------꧂

Mylo

He’s definitely that one kid in school that always has his headphones in or is starting unnecessary trouble

Constant detentions for late homework, gluing the teachers to chairs and fighting but never turns up to them.

Usually only gets into fist fights over something “moral”. Like standing up for his friends.

Refuses to join any after school clubs

“I have better stuff to spend my time on”

Those better things consist of playing video games or drawing a character he made up.

Thriving in maths, music, art and PE

Failing horribly In science

Probably has a pet lizard

Or a spider

His room is only clean because Vander will ground him if not

Falls asleep constantly in class

100% a Rick and morty fan

Sleeps in an oversized Rick and morty shirt

Collects dream catchers

Cried when Arthur died in rdr2

Probably lives in cargo shorts or baggy clothes

Loves Halloween

Overall a menace to society, more so than he is in zaun

Avoids relationships at school. He says it’s a waste of time but In reality he is just terrified of messing it up.

Got made fun of for his hair, so he started putting it a man bun

Really interested in history but not good at it.

Went through a massive fnaf phase and still isn’t completely over it

Clagger

Thriving in every subject, other than art and PE

Gets money out of tutoring others

Tries to help powder and mylo in subjects they aren’t doing great in

Cleanest room in the house

Lives in hoodies and flannels.

Has pictures and articles of space stuff all over his walls

Followed by a professional telescope kept tidy in the corner of his room.

The main one who gets bullied at school and the main one Mylo sticks up for.

Always looking for his glasses. A l w a y s

Usually the one to clean up Powders room

Does extra maths after school… for fun…

Massive Marvel fan

Definitely has an innocent crush on black widow

Also loves comics

He wants to draw but he just can’t get the hang of it. So he dropped art

Imagines himself being an astronomer or chef one day

Strangely good with cars

As soon as Vander introduced him to star wars he got hooked

Him and mylo bond over it

Has Lego figured of darth vaders headgear

Powder

Doing well in school but not classed as one of the good kids

Always playing pranks on teachers

Regularly scolded by Vi for stealing the teachers stuff

Very good at cross country

Does a lot of sports

Adored by her art teacher

Her best friend is definitely ekko

Anime lover

Has Disney princess bed sheets for sure

Followed by hundreds of old princess dresses in her wardrobe from when she was younger

Obsessed with bath bombs

Massive sweet tooth and Vander limits the amount of fizzy drinks she’s allowed

Always sneaks to the shop after school to get a coke

Does gymnastics and competes

You can imagine the whole gang will be there cheering her on

Im sorry but she would definitely went through a roblox/gatcha kid phase 😭

She’d also hate herself for it

She’s the ‘popular’ girl in her year but only because she’s brave enough to mess with the teachers. And because everyone knows she’s related to mylo and vi.

Mainly gets picked on my older kids, who vi ends up beating the living shite out of.

Definitely in a boxing club

Stoner!!!!

Frequently gives herself stick n pokes

Pierced her own ears

Loves artists like p!nk, lady gaga, Amy winehouse, Radiohead and Lana del ray and has posters of them.

Would also like the occasional punk rock

Gives of massive Chloe vibes from life is strange

She is an average student in school, not caring too much about her grades but still passing.

Spends her free time working out, skating, helping Vander, playing minecraft with powder or out doing something sketchy.

Doesn’t quite understand minecraft but tries to play anyway.

“Everythings a cube?”

“Yeah vi… that’s kinda the whole point”

The first to get their drivers licence out of all the kids

Gets a motorbike instead of a car

She’s usually the one to shove mylo in lockers at school

Gets the most phone calls home too if you Couldnt already guess

Gets asked out by thousands of guys till everyone catches on that she is 💅

Openly flaunts her relationship with cait cause she adores her so much.

Went through a hunger games phase

Mainly because she had a massive thing for katniss

Vander

Massive top gear fan

Still Owns a bar (which they all live above) but works part time as a mechanic

Has a massive family car for everyone

Tried online dating but stopped when he got catfished

Does NOT understand technology and is honestly a little scared by it

Is that dad to turn up at school and intimidate the kids when he finds out one of his children are being bullied.

Frames powders drawings and hangs them around the house

Goes all out for holidays

Especially for powder, he will dress up as Santa and everything

Loves playing Lego with the kids

They made an entire Lego city together once until ekko tripped over claggers toy lightsaber and broke everything

Gives the kids weekly pocket money

Rolling Stones and a Queen lover

Blasting Bohemian rhapsody when picking the kids up from school

Very into the guitar and attempted to teach all the kids. Mylo was the only one to take interest

Probably takes the piss out of Americans

I don’t know why, he just likes to mock their accent when they do it to him.

It’s his main source of entertainment

Massive Disney fan

Ekko

BIGGEST TEACHERS PET

above average in everything

Loves dance and takes after school club in street dance and tap

Emotional wreck

If he gets told off he will burst into tears and purposely make everyone feel bad

Is smart enough to help vi and mylo with their homework

Went through a Creepy pasta phase and gave himself nightmares

He then shared the stories with powder and infected her with nightmares too

Now he regularly checks his wardrobe at night to make sure slender man isn’t waiting for him.

Him and powder write little stories together. He does the writing and she draws the pictures for them.

Has a crippling fear of elevators

The kinda person to pet every single dog he sees

“Ekko!! That’s not a dog that’s a possum!!”

When he is older he would dye his hair every single colour.

Has a minecraft world dedicated to red stone contraptions

He blew up his console once with the amount of power it used

#arcane #fanfiction #Headcannons #mylo #vi #ekko #powder #Vander #clagger #modern au #au #arcane lol

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heyitsyn · 3 years

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RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

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axemetaphor · 3 years

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im definitely not ripping off my friend by making a list of au ideas i have no siree //gonna slap this under a readmore cause i. well i say a lot. all of the time. i tried so hard to format this Good but tumblr fucked me up i am so sorry

so first-off i know i already have one WIP AU (Auckland) on ao3 so i wont talk about That one cause like. spoilers. i actualyl have it like 80% created so its likely gonna truly get finished for once and i dont wanna ruin shit

the other one ive posted about is something me and ben (catgirlrepublic) have worked on together its not at all close to done or anything but it's. a fun little crossover. Between jdate and my fuckinuhm. Original characters story “Untitled Villains Project”. the sketches of the comic version ive started is actually my pinned post 👉👈 its like the first chunk of the story, i think half of part 1? yea.

Tldr john fucking Somehow is able t oget into contact with a certain curious scientist from another reality who’d just love to study the Soy Sauce, most certainly not for her own nefarious purposes

John and Dave meet up with the scientist, her name is Boss, and her lab assistant, Toxic, and after a bit of a preliminary Vibe Check where john determines her trustworthy (which Dave doesnt agree with,) the two agree to be taken to the world UVP is set in. from there they stay in Boss’s lab (big old fucking abandoned military lab). John and Toxic are fast friends due to mutual love-of-chaos. John n Dave get to fuckin, camp out on an air mattress.

The day after they arrive, the two get split up, not exactly intentionally; big plot points of UVP are liek. Fueled by Boss sending Toxic to go fetch her “research materials,” which are usually important artifacts

Fuckin side note i guess i have to explain my dumb bullshit: Boss’s, uh, field of expertise so to speak is actually fckin, basically the scientific study of magic and superpowers n shit like that. This shit’s all real in that world. Toxic’s got fuckin superpowers, so do 4 other main characters, whatever. It’s got a bit to do with spirituality, iss Boss’s hypothesis. So she has Toxic fetch important artifacts that might have “energies” to them. The thing is actually way more fuckin complictated than that, this is just Boss’s initial hypothesis.

Motherfucking anyways. So Boss gives Toxic a job to do, and John get excited about how Cool that sounds, and ends up going with Toxic, leaving Boss and Dave alone. Neither is thrilled about this. But Dave and Boss get to have a bit of conversation (while Toxic and John are off bonding and having a good time) and come to a… mutual grudging understanding of some kind. They still dont like each other though lmao

Theres gonna be deeper shit going on but we havent sorted it out yet/tbh havent like Written For It in a while but i still like thinking about it a lot lol

Also pretty sure our endgame is john and dave steal toxic and bring them back with em lmao boss is kind of not nice and toxic would most certainly be better off in Undisclosed. Actually theyd fucking love it. Theyd become a local cryptid im sure. Undisclosed’s mothman is a teleporting spike baby.

I have. Another crossover AU that i might. Post something about for halloween? Maybe? If i have it finished?

Crosses over into, you guessed it, another one of my original-character projects. God, am i vain or something?

I promise this is just because i think blue and dave should get to team up to beat up some monsters

Quick briefing on my fuckinuh. Original character story, this one doesnt have a name (yet? Idk lol my work never actually goes anywhere sso who gives a shit). It centers around two grim reapers, Red (26, bi woman) and Blue (22, aroace agender asshole). In this reality or whatever, grim reapers function kind of like low-level office workers. They get told who’s going to die + when by some middle-management types, and upper management only involve themselves when punishment needs to be doled out. These Higher-Ups can be seen as analogous to Korrok; they’re decidedly not human, never were, and fucking terrifyingly powerful. Additionally, grim reapers are sort of .. designed to be “background noise” people. In reality theyre supernatural beings and, uh, look Real Fuckin Weird (the whole deal has a neon aesthetic im terrible at drawing uwu) but most humans just perceive them like extras in a movie. A body’s there but the camera’s not focused on it.

To the narrative: the shit starts when Red n Blue get relocated to Undisclosed. Relocation is something that just happens every now and then to reapers; they usually work in teams, but they get split up into different cities to avoid any strong bonds forming (a counter-union strategy from the Higher-Ups).

Red, Blue, John and Dave end up running into each other for the first time in a McDonalds where John n Dave are getting some 4am “hey, we just survived another horrific monster fight” celebration burgers. John and Dave are the only two people who can see how… strange Red and Blue are. Nobody else notices.

John unintentionally pisses Blue off, leading to Blue whacking him upside the head with a dildo bat. They all four get kicked out of McDonald’s. Dave and Red both are less than thrilled

Blue and John end up resolving their differences, somehow. Red and Dave briefly bond over their dumbass best friends being, well, dumbasses. They all part ways amicably.

somehow-or-other (idk yet) they end up running into each other a few more times, and eventually john invites them over to his place, and the four (plus Amy now!) get to know each other a little better

while there, Blue gets a text about some guy who's gonna die and John offers to drive them to where that's gonna go down. they take him up on the offer and get to have a bit of one-on-one conversation

after that ordeal though Blue has had Enough of people and bails, leaving John to head home alone

theres a sort of mirror-development going on with the five of em. Red, John, and Amy would all like everyone to get along, though theyre a bit tentative about it (John moreso than the other two, actually, jsut cause. well Red n Blue could still be Sauce Monsters). Dave and Blue on the other hand do Not like people enough for this shit, and Dave's not unconvinced theyre Sauce Monsters. he will not trust them until proven he should

the story's kinda nebulous but i got an idea for some Shit going down that involves both Sauce Monsters and also the Higher-Ups to have some fuckin absolute chaos go down.

Oops! All Trans

Everybody is transgender. Everyone

Ive actually workshopped this one both with ben (catgirlrepublic) and ghost (ghost-wannabe) lmao its a fun lil concept ive had from the get-go cause i mean. What’s an internet tran gonna do other than hit all their favourite media with the Everyone’s Trans beam

Dave transitioned post-high school and faked his death for it. People go missing in Undisclosed all the damned time, after all. He moved to the next city over, transitioned fully, then came back as a completely new man. Yes i know this doesnt exactly fit with the “everyone knows David from high school” thing alright, hush.

Anytime anyone brings up John’s old best friend (pre-transition Dave) John throws an entire fit like an overdramatic grieving widow. Full-on sobbing “why would you bring her up?! I miss her so much—” to the point that people just stop bringing up because Jesus Christ That Sure Is Uncomfortable KJHGFDS.

This is a scheme he and Dave came up with prior to Dave leaving, though Dave hadnt exactly anticipated John putting on this much of a performance about it— but it’s stopped Dave from ever having tto hear his deadname again, so hey.

Amy transitioned sometime in middle school/early high school. Her family was super supportive and loved her a ton and most people just know her as Amy. she was super shy her whole life really so. Yeah. people just dont think to bring it up lmao also i Feel Like big jim would absolutely wallop anyone who gave her trouble of any kind

John’s nonbinary (genderfluid specifically) and not exactly Interested in transitioning ? like hes fine with how he is. mostly.

he came out to Dave in high school but hes not out to anyone else exactly. Maybe his bandmates. Probably any other trans person in Undisclosed knows, too, cause theyre safe to tell lmao. Johns mostly a “he/him out of convenience” kinda nb who’s cool with any pronouns but does prefer they/them most. Dave and Amy use they/them when the trio are alone

Also this is a totally self-indulgent caveat that i think would be great, Dave’s actually agender but because he's transmasc and transitioned when he thought there were really only two options, and being Boy at least felt less weird than being Girl, he just kind of assumed he was a dude. It’s only through a lot of (like fucking years and years hes probably in his 30s/40s when he puts 2 and 2 together on this one) talks about gender with John that he realizes he actually feels like No Gender. Masc aesthetic with none gender.

I Just Think It’d Be Neat Is All Okay

Also Amy came out to Dave about being trans early on in them seeing each other and his response was to get very nervous before blurting out “me too” and then just being too embarrassed to talk about it for the rest of the day. Hes got a lot of hangups on talking about it actually it takes years for him to get comfortable in that

by contrast when Amy comes out to John about it his response is to yell “EYYY ME TOO” and give her a big ol hug lmao

I think itd be neatt if Amy ran a like. Transfem help/advice blog on tumblr. Kind of helped-with by John who can give her transfem nb insight for certain asks. I also just think that would be neat.

Cowboy AU - i put this one last cause its got drawings to it actually. Theyll be at the bottom

Basically just. Hey you ever watched a western. I think they look neat

This is another one me n ben have come up with lol

The soy sauce and all that shit still exist, im not sure where korrok fits in yet but ill figure it out

Theres no real like solid narrative yet ? but heres the barebones of everybody’s arcs.

John

Johns an absolute troublemaker, Of Course. Hes wanted in several towns for absolutely stupid shit. Hes a loner who shows up, causes chaos, gets drunk, does some drugs, runs away if people get too mad at him

He definitely had the same kind of deal with the soy sauce as in canon— he was at some kind of party, somebody offered it, he took it cause why the fuck wouldnt he, now he can see monsters and shit

Hes kind of a mooch also. Like. dont let him stay in your barn man he’ll never fucking leave and drink all your booze.

He runs into Dave when they happen to just, cross paths in the same town. the bullshit John stirs up ends up involving Dave in a way that makes it seem like it's his fault too, and they both get run out of town

after that he just tags along after Dave. hes decided this guy's Cool he wants to stick around. Dave is pissed at first, but not enough to shoot him or anything, and eventually, John grows on him

Dave

Dave also is a loner but unlike John hes simply so fucking awkward and bad with people. He doesnt feel like he belongs anywhere so he just travels

He’s the stereotypical Lone Ranger tbh. He wanders from town to town, solving their problems, though hed deny its out of any moral obligation (it kinda is, a little bit, tbh. He does like feeling useful). He shows up, fixes things, leaves. He's kind of a legend but most people think he's hiding something dark. other people jsut know him as that guy who farted real loud in the middle of the saloon and promptly skipped town out of sheer embarrassment. you know how it goes with Dave

He ends up involved with the Soy Sauce when a snake (not Actually a snake,) bites him. The snake’s more like the wig-monsters, really. Anyway, it injects him with the soy sauce, he fucking trips balls in the middle of the desert, he can see monsters now

He runs into John and shit goes tits-up, as said, but they become traveling buddies after that. he'd never say so, but he's glad for the company, actually. it's nice. hes not used to companionship but he feels a strange kind of easiness hanging out with John....

not sure how the Monster Dave concept will like fit in to this reality but like. trust me i want it in here. I'll Figure It Out.

Amy

Amy’s been living in a town John and Dave end up passing through and she is very curious about these two new Handsome Strangers who claim to fight monsters and just kinda. Persistently tags along til they let her join for real

Her family’s all dead, unfortunately, just like in canon, and she’s been living alone for a few years before meeting John n Dave. she had nothing left in that town to stay for, she'd been fantasizing about escaping on wild adventures for a long time and this felt a little like a dream come true. (Dave still gives her a spiel about how Difficult it is, but really, her fantasies were pretty grounded-in-reality already. i jsut think thats how she is, yknow?)

Shes the first person to react to the whole “we see monsters” shit with a kind of “oh, okay. neat” kind of response lmao

John and Dave fix whatever the fuck is up with her town (maybe that’s where the Korrok shit can fit, who knows) and Amy ends up being integral to that. After, she insists they take her with them because “they need her now” and Dave just cant really say no. John too is very much "the more the merrier!" and hes actually glad to have another person along he loves people lmao

At the start she has long hair but after she joins them she chops it short with a knife for convenience

also she still is an amputee. justt. idk. it was a wagon/stagecoach accident rather than a car accident lmao. just to clarify since i hadnt mentioned it, i wouldnt rob her of her ghost hand or yknow. all of the significance to her character that Missing A Hand has. although also now im going to have to research what was used as painkillers way-back-when, but im betting shes still got, like, her pain pills, they probably had those, maybe i wouldnt have to try too hard there. old timey medicine could be WACK though,

Shitload

Yeah hes in tthis shit mostly cause i liked designing his cowboy self lmao

Hes a kid (like 16, 17, technically i think in those days that was more Young Man than Kid but whatever. Hes Young i mean.) who got possessed by the Worms out in the desert and, by his family’s perception, just went missing!

Hes also a wanderer, but he ended up at the same town john and dave met in, at that same time, and starts following them after, already aware of who/what they are.

He keeps his face covered 24/7. actually he covers a Majority of his self for reasons. kinda want him to be a slightly more horrifying Worm Entity rather than human idk,

I kinda dont have much for this boy yet sorry Shitload

images !

with some editing notes for me cause im doing a very specific aesthetic with this lmao. i might change some lil details/colours though ...... idk

im also kinda 🤔 about shitload's colour palette. i want things assoicated w the sauce to be black'n'red predominantly but i think his palette might mirror dave's too closely. also im working on a korrok design i jsut am too busy to draw it now

#jdate #john dies at the end #aus #erh. tthe hell do i tag this as #rambles.txt #long post #well let me know if youd wanna hear more or. or something #send an ask. or whatever #yaknow #:jazz hands:

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ddaenggtan · 4 years

Text

as we go along | myj [m]

pairing | min yoonji x reader

wc | 10.4k

genre | NSFW; Fluff, Smut, a dash of Angst bc why not

Four years ago, the beautiful stunning attractive frustrating Min Yoonji came into your life. Ever since, it’s been a competition between the two of you to win the HOA’s Holiday Decorating Contest. The fiery looks she gives you paired with the pointed insults throw you off your game every year, but not this time. This holiday season, you’re determines to win; and along the way you might just find that Yoonji’s been trying to win something else.

;OR the queer hallmark movie of your dreams.

warnings/tags | idiots to lovers, enemies to lovers, Awkward Gays, Idiot/Oblivious Gays, very strong language i think this MC curses almost as much as i do, oral (female receiving) x2, fingering, wall sex, theres like....a hint of body worship in that MC loves eating pussy bc lbr. what else could possibly compare to that. uhh side jinkook, as well as some side namyoonmin and some vhope if u squint real hard. hwasa and chungha are a lesbian power couple. OH The Min Twins aka Yoongi and Yoonji are siblings uwu

a/n | this is 100% every single lesbian fantasy of my dreams because i just really love the ladeez and also min yoonji needs more characterization outside of 'stone cold butch domme' so uh. here ya go. i love ladeez so this is v self indulgent and also Super Gay.

this is part of the 25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Anthology

[Today]

Red bleeds into green and glitters magnificently on the snow. Lights and tinsel are strewn all over the yard of your parents’ house, creating a rather pretty collage of sparkles and swirls against the white backdrop. You wish you could appreciate it more.

As it stands, however, you’ve been outside for hours untangling the decorative strands so that you can hang them on the gutters, eaves, and railings of the two story house behind you. Your mother had insisted you work inside but you know better. The cats - Mochi and Pablo - are your favorite in the world and you love them dearly, but one of their favorite things in the world has always been holiday decorations. The number of times you’ve had to stop them from chewing on lights of knocking the tree down is frankly ridiculous. So instead you’re unravelling everything so you can get started on what you’re sure is going to be your best year yet.

You’ve always loved decorating, of course, especially for the holidays. Getting up before dawn to go pick out one of the giant fir trees to stand in their living room, picking out new figurines for the Winter Village that sits on the mantle, helping your parents put ornaments on the tree. You love holiday decorating nearly as much as you love the feeling of victory in your chest.

“If you had an organizer that wouldn’t take nearly as long,” says a voice from behind you. It’s melodic and deceptively sweet in spite of the lower register, and you don’t turn. You don’t want to give her the satisfaction. You don’t even respond, instead settling your gloved hands on your hips and eyeing the front porch so you can decide where to start.

“Really? Ignoring me now? Tsk tsk, and here I thought you were better than being a sore loser.”

Continuing on your mission to pretend she isn’t there, you heft several yards of lights over your shoulder and head toward the ladder you have against the porch roof. You may as well start up high.

“Interesting choice,” Yoonji mutters as she watches you. The hair on the back of your neck bristles, and you take a deep breath to calm and center yourself. “I’d heard that icicle lights were a bit last season, but I’m excited for this vintage look you’re going for. If you need more, let me know. I think the ones I used last year are still in the garage.”

“What do you want, Yoonji?” You huff, turning over your shoulder to glare at her. She looks entirely too at home in your yard with a steaming thermos in her mittened hands.

“Just wanted to say hi. Wasn’t sure you were coming this year, considering how late you got in.”

“My flight was delayed for weather reasons,” you snap.

“Ah. That’s why I always drive up instead.” There’s a pregnant pause that’s filled only with the huffs of your breath as you focus on the lights in front of you. “Oh, but you never got your license, did you? Ah, you should call me next year, we can carpool.”

“I got my license this past year,” You bite out. She doesn’t need to know that it took a few tries. It’s not your fault it makes you anxious to be behind the wheel. “Seriously. I have work to do.”

“Obviously,” Yoonji mutters. You flash her a glare and she just smiles back. “Just wanted to see how you were, if you needed any…” She pauses, eyes trailing over the explosion of decorations on your lawn with thinly veiled judgement in her eyes. “Help.”

“If I needed your help, I wouldn’t be winning this year’s contest.”

“By the looks of it, you aren’t winning this year’s contest anyway.” Her mutter doesn’t escape your notice. But that’s the real problem you have with Min Yoonji.

She’s sarcastic and blunt and kind of intimidatingly hot, but you can handle that. You are a strong, independent queer woman in the modern age and you are not about to let some random lesbian intimidate you, no matter how much you kind of wanted to fuck her in the past. Yoonji is not a problem for you.

It’s the way she’s constantly putting you down, giving you backhanded compliments, and generally acting like she’s better than you. While winning your parents’ neighborhood’s annual Holiday Decorating Contest that their local Homeowner’s Association runs. Everyone gets a kick out of the friendly competition, the winners get a gift certificate to a Korean BBQ place, and a good time is had by all.

Except you.

Because you’ve made it your mission to win - to beat the current reigning champion of the past three years who stands on your lawn sipping what smells like hot cocoa and silently judging your decor choices like she didn’t put a massive inflatable pumpkin on the roof for Halloween.

She watches you the entire time you hang up the lights, carefully attaching them to the edge of the awning covering the front porch. It isn’t until your father pulls into the driveway and you’re done with the upper half completely - about to start the railing - and descending the ladder one careful step at a time that she speaks again.

“Those are hanging too low,” She tells you. She doesn’t seem to mind when you ignore her in favor of wrapping lights around the stair banister.

“Hey there, Yoonji!” Your father calls as he starts to unload the groceries. “What brings you to this part of town?” They both laugh at the joke and you force back a gag.

“Just hanging out,” She calls back. “Making sure your daughter doesn’t break her neck for some silly competition. You need help with those?” Your dad waves her off.

“I’m not that old, but thank you. Besides, it looks like you’re needed elsewhere.” He gestures with one bag-laden hand, and both you and Yoonji turn.

A large SUV pulls into the driveway across the street; the passenger door swings open before the vehicle even stops, and a girl - woman, really - launches herself out of the car. She’s across the street in record time, nearly tackling Yoonji to the snow with the force of her hug. Both look excited to see each other, a rare smile on Yoonji’s face that makes you burn with something that doesn’t feel quite like the usual rage.

The two are talking rapidly in your front lawn, too harried and chaotic for you to make out much of anything besides the fact that they missed each other. They look comfortable with each other in a way you’ve never been and you force yourself to remember that you don’t care . Even as you eye the way the newcomer’s hand sits just that little bit too low on Yoonji’s back.

The sounds of car doors closing and snow crunching draws your attention and you’re shocked to see another gorgeous girl making her way over. She looks as excited as the first, yet more subdued about it.

Likely because they’re on a lawn that decidedly does not belong to them, but you could be wrong there.

Both of the women are absolutely gorgeous, though, easily model material. The first has artfully styled dark hair that falls in perfect waves down her shoulders, and is delightfully curvy in all the places the world loves. Her cheekbones are to die for, makeup flawless, and you resist the urge to pluck at your own outfit, chosen for warmth over style.

The second woman is no different; not quite as thicc, as Jimin would say, but the figure suits her, as does the straight platinum hair that hangs down to her lower back. It’s stark against the black of her expensive-looking coat, and it only adds to the energy she carries that draws you in even as you wish it wouldn’t.

“Oh, how rude of me! These are my neighbors,” Yoonji says after a minute. You don’t miss the way she hesitates saying your name, or the almost predatory smiles the other two women get.

“So you’re the one,” The dark-haired one says. You don’t get a chance to question it before the blonde cuts her off.

“I’m Chungha,” She says with a friendly smile. “And this is Hyejin.”

“My friends call me Hwasa, though,” The brunette adds. “We hate to tear her away but it’s been ages since we’ve seen our girl.”

“You saw me like two weeks ago,” Yoonji mutters. You’re too caught off-guard by anyone calling Yoonji their ‘girl’ to respond, but you don’t miss the way her cheeks tinge pink from something that isn’t the cold.

“So we’re gonna steal her away now,” Hwasa continues, oblivious. You don’t protest, letting your father chat amicably while they say their goodbyes and you look between the girls.

Hwasa’s hand is still lingering on Yoonji’s lower back, something neither of them seem bothered by. That’s something that friends do, though, right? Jimin squeezes your ass constantly and the two of you definitely aren’t together.

You hear your name and a question but you can’t seem to really focus beyond a mumbled agreement to whatever you were asked. The way Chungha’s eyes glance over her companions feels like something more, but you can never really be sure. Not in this day and age.

But when they head back across the road to Yoonji’s house, Hwasa doesn’t hesitate to lace their fingers together. Yoonji lets her do it, and the glimpse of the grin and the flushed cheeks you see make your heart clench.

Paired with the way Chungha eyes the pair as she follows behind - a decidedly more than friendly gaze - and every alarm in your brain is going off. She looks ready to jump them both the second they get in the door.

“I’m impressed,” Your father says.

“I’m not done yet,” You tell him, turning back to the decorations sprawled across the lawn. “I’ve still got to-”

“No, no,” He interrupts. “Not the decorations. That you’re finally making strides to be nicer to Yoonji.” You stare blankly at him, not understanding what part of your attitude towards her said anything about being nicer.

And anyway, why shouldn’t she be nicer to you?

“The party…?” You blink at his words, looking in all respects like a startled rabbit. “The annual Min family holiday party? That they just invited you to? The one that you said you would attend?”

“I’m sorry, I did what. ”

“It just happened, sweetheart. I was standing right here for the entire thing.”

“No,” You tell him firmly. “No, because I would remember telling Min fucking Yoonji that I was going to her stupid holiday party.”

Your father just shakes his head. “Then perhaps we ought to get you a doctor’s appointment, sweetie, because I watched it all happen not five seconds ago.” He pats your shoulder, doing his best to show his solidarity for your sudden idiocy, and makes his way inside.

You spin to watch him go, all the potential protests and complaints clogging together in your throat and leaving you silent. He gets to the bottom step before you’re storming angrily back to your decorations, because whatever , you’ll go to the stupid party.

Yoonji can have her dumb holiday party with those overhyped cookies your father always raves about. She can have her caroling and her sing-a-long that your mother adores. She can even have her two super hot model girlfriends, because you’re a modern woman, and sometimes that’s what a relationship is. Whatever. It’s her prerogative. You don’t care. It is not going to affect you, or your decorating, at all.

You scream a little when the icicle lights you so carefully hung knock against your father’s head on his way inside.

[Three Years Ago]

“You look like you’re struggling,” a voice says behind you.

They aren’t wrong, either. You’re balanced precariously atop the porch roof your parents’ new hours, hanging garland off the edges so your dad doesn’t have to do it himself.

You turn to see who’s talking to you - especially since you don’t actually know anyone, this being your first visit to the neighborhood - and very nearly have to hold on to the edge beside you to stop yourself from falling off.

The man that stands on your parents’ front walkway is easily the most beautiful you’ve seen - a casual elegance to his stance that you’ve not seen outside of celebrities. His leather jacket looks warm and comfortable while remaining stylish, and the all-black underneath suits him while highlighting the lithe form. All of it is perfectly complemented by the mop of jet-black hair tucked under a knitted beanie, and you can’t help but wonder what kind of neighborhood your parents have moved to, when models are just walking around the streets.

“Uh…” You would kick yourself for sudden ineloquence if you thought you could without falling straight on your ass. The guy bites back and obvious smile, ducking his head for a moment to do so.

“I haven’t seen you around before,” He calls as he looks back up at you. “Did you move in recently?”

“No, I don’t live here.” He raises a brow and you huff. “It’s my parents’ place. I’m just doing their decorating for them.” The guy nods and starts to say something else, but he’s cut off before he can.

“Jimin-ah, what are you doing?” You look back to the garland as someone else walks up, some girl based on the quick glimpse you get while tugging on a strand that doesn’t want to untangle. You give them some semblance of privacy as the guy - Jimin - relays to her everything you’ve said so far. It only strikes you as a little odd that he’s being so detailed; she could be a jealous girlfriend, for all you know.

“Oh,” the girl says, tone as dry as the dead leaves piled in the corner of the yard, “Is this supposed to beat me somehow?”

“Yoonji,” Jimin scolds under his breath.

“Sorry,” You say, standing up to your full height. It’s a considerable distance considering you’re still on the porch roof. “But what is that supposed to mean? Is there some kind of competition I don’t know about?”

“Oh,” Yoonji repeats, surprise evident in her voice this time as she eyes you. You take the opportunity to do the same, and you’re glad the nip in the air already turned your cheeks pink because fuck.

Yoonji’s god damn gorgeous. She’s slightly taller than the average girl, even in the winter boots she’s wearing, but she wears the height well; her shoulders are straight and her chin has a natural upward tilt to it, like she’s used to looking down at people in more ways than one. She’s not dressed fancy - just thick leggings and an oversized sweater - but she looks like she belongs in a commercial or something. Her hair is similar to Jimin’s - pitch black and soft - but hers is glossier, more like a cat’s coat; her cheeks are pink from the cold, her lips are slightly parted and invite too many thoughts about if they’re as soft as they look, Even in such casual circumstances, she’s radiant, even as she says-

“That explains a lot.”

It takes a second longer than you’d like to admit for your brain to resume function, but when it does, you huff with indignation.

“Excuse me?” You hiss. “What, are my decor choices not good enough for whatever this competition is?”

“No,” Yoonji says slowly, cocking a brow, and you see red - and it isn’t the lights from the house across the street. You don’t even let her continue before you’re defending yourself.

“Well I’m sorry that not all of us can decorate like they just stepped out of...of…Better Homes And Gardens, or some shit like that. Some of us focus more on making sure we like our decorations and that they actually mean something instead of just doing things for the aesthetic .”

Yoonji mutters something under her breath but you can’t make it out; it’s lost among the breeze that kicks up and the soft sound of laughing that Jimin is trying desperately to muffle. You huff a little and return to your mission of dragging the garland up on top of the roof, a new determination filling your chest.

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be doing this?” Yoonji asks, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking a brow. You freeze. You can hear Jimin’s quiet inhale, and when you look up, he’s got his lips puffed out like that meme of that guy doing the duckface. You let your hand rest on your hips and give this girl the best glare you can - which you have to admit is quite powerful when you need it to be.

Like now, when this random super hot girl is judging you for being single and also assuming you’re interested in men. The nerve of her.

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” You tell her firmly. She frowns a little, and you wish the expression wasn’t so cute.

“Why not?”

You scoff. “ Because,” You tell her firmly, “Not only am I happy by myself and don’t need someone else to be complete, I happen to prefer women. You may be happy with a member of the opposite sex,” You wave at where she and Jimin stand close together and return to trying to pull up the piece of garland that’s probably stuck on something, “But I tend to lean the other way.”

Yoonji just arches a perfect brow at you, but she at least doesn’t bust out laughing like Jimin does.

“Oh man,” He says, wiping tears from his eyes as he stumbles forward, “Imagine looking at us and thinking we’re straight. Oh my god, imagine, can you believe-”

“So why don’t you have a girlfriend doing this then?” Yoonji asks. Her cheeks are a little redder, but you’re pretty sure it’s just from the cold. “Wouldn’t it be better?”

“Because I’m a strong,” You heave another string of garland up, “Independent,” heave, “Woman!” You give one last tug on the garland and it flies loose, sending you landing back on the flat of your ass atop the porch roof. It doesn’t hurt too bad other than the fact that you can see a smile playing on Yoonji’s lips and your pride has already taken a few hits.

“Well then,” Yoonji says, patting Jimin’s arm and stepping back, “We’ll stop distracting you, Miss Independent.” She and Jimin walk across the street, and you pretend not to notice the way she looks back every so often.

[Today]

“No, it needs to be taller.”

“Sweetheart if it’s any taller, it won’t fit in the house.”

You send your mother a frustrated glance and shake your head. “It will, it just needs to be the right height and shape.”

“Why can’t we just get a fake tree? They’re so much easier to move and put together, wouldn’t that be better?”

“No,” You hiss, scandalized. “Real trees are better overall for the environment, not to mention how you can’t manufacture the smell of pine trees that come with them that set the entire atmosphere. Plus this nursery uses the profits to plant more trees both here and in areas that suffer with deforestation. It’s for a good cause.”

“And that’s why we had to get here at five in the morning?” Your mother asks sarcastically.

“Yes,” You reply firmly, “Because otherwise all the good trees will be gone and we’ll be forced to choose from the leftovers.” Your mother mumbles something else under her breath, but you don’t hear it. You’re distracted because there it is. The perfect tree.

You’re two steps away from your perfect tree - tall, evenly spaced, full branches, well balanced, with the perfect shade of evergreen - when you hear her.

“It’s over here,” Yoonji’s voice echoes. “I need the perfect tree, and it’s the best one I’ve found in years.”

You ignore the way your mother lights up and shush her when she tries to call out to Yoonji. You listen closer; your nemesis is still talking, something about needing a tree for someone - which, who leaves tree shopping to the last minute? The only reason you’re here is that you got in late because of the weather - but her voice is definitely getting closer.

Panicking, you look at your tree. If Yoonji sees it, it’s definitely over. It’s perfect, there’s no way she’ll want any other, and what Yoonji wants, she gets.

The only real explanation for what happens next is that you’re running on four hours’ sleep and Yoonji tends to make you a little stupid.

“Get the other side,” You whisper to your mom. She stares at you and doesn’t move. “Hurry up, before they get here!”

Your mother watches for a few seconds as you wrap your arms around the tree, getting pricked in the face with pine needles as you do, and start to tug. It’s a heavy tree, and it’s only just started to shift when the voices get closer.

“Seriously?!” You exclaim in a harried whisper to your mom. “Not even a push?!”

“You’re trying to steal a tree,” Your mother says. “From a nursery that gives to charity. I’m not helping with that.”

“I’m gonna pay for it later!” Your mother sighs and starts pushing halfheartedly on the other side of the tree.

“Shit, no, I meant-” Your words are cut off by a grunt as you manage to catch the tree before it falls entirely. It’s heavy against your shoulder, and of course that’s when Yoonji turns the corner, followed by the broadest man you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. Both stop in their tracks at the sight of you.

“Hey Seokjin.” You say, faking a laugh. “How are you? Haven’t seen you this year. Business good?”

“Yeah,” He says, cocking a brow, “When people don’t try to run off with our trees.”

“Who? Me? I would never!” The tree starts digging into your shoulder and your legs tremble. “I just thought I’d load it up for you, y’know, save you the trouble.”

“Oh did you?” There’s amusement in Seokjin’s voice as he fiddles with his ring. “You know our policy, you have to pay before loading.”

You start to stammer out some bullshit about him being busy but you’re only halfway through the excuse when Yoonji says your name.

“It’s alright,” the woman says with a bored voice. “She was loading it up for me. That’s the tree I was coming to show you anyway.”

The weight finally overtakes you, and you crumble under it. You manage to twist so that nothing important is trapped under the trunk, but you get a faceful of needles for your efforts.

“Maybe you should do it, though, Jin,” Yoonji says. “It looks a little much for the poor dear.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin huffs. He pulls the tree off of you with what looks like little effort, hefting it over his shoulder so the base drags the ground. “Where are you parked, Yoonji?”

“Load it onto their car,” Yoonji responds. Both you and your mother stare at her in shock. “Consider it an early Christmas present.”

“Oh, well isn’t that sweet of you,” Your mother coos. She points the way to Seokjin and the two head off, chatting amicably as they go.

You narrow your eyes at Yoonji where she stands, not even offering to help you up from the snow where you still lay.

“What’s wrong with it?” You ask. All she does is quirk a brow. “The tree. Why are you giving it to me? You wouldn’t unless there was something wrong with it. So what is it? Termites? Leaking too much sap? What?”

Yoonji shrugs. “You wanted it,” She says simply. Your blood boils, and she steps back like she doesn’t even notice.

“You aren’t even going to help me up?” You call as she starts to walk away.

“Good try, Miss Independent,” She calls back. “I think Jungkook’s still in the office if you need him.”

You half-scream a growl as you flop your head back into the snow. A pout forms as you watch the sky start to color with the sunrise.

You’re going to have to throw away your perfect tree.

[Two Years Ago]

It’s the day of the contest. You’re confident in your decor choices this year, even if you couldn’t get every single thing you had in mind, you decide as you wander the neighborhood to scope out the competition. Last year you went simple and got second place, and you’ve switched it up this year. All out with the best decorations possible.

You’re going to win. Losing isn’t an option, not again. Not when you were beat by her.

It doesn’t matter, you remind yourself as you turn the corner onto your parents’ street. Your decorations are as good as they can be.

Your mood sours a little when you see a figure in the yard across from yours, but the soft beanie and oversized hoodie cheer you up once you notice them.

“Yoongi!” You call with a smile. The man turns and gives you a gummy grin. “I didn’t know you were in town!”

“Yeah, we got in late last night. Kinda crashed once we did. Then someone dragged us all out to the store early this morning.” He rolls his eyes and you laugh.

“Well the house looks good. Not as good as mine, obviously,” You tease, “But good.”

“Yeah, you might win this year. Yoonji’s got some good competition.”

You sniffle a little, doing your best to contain your distaste for his twin.

The Min twins, nearly identical save for the fact that they aren’t the same gender, are easily the best and worst things about the neighborhood. Worst because of that pompous priss Yoonji, obviously.

Best because Min Yoongi is one of the sweetest people you’ve ever known even if he is a bit shy. You met him last year, when he’d carried in an obscene amount of groceries for your mother and you’d almost mistaken him for his sister. You’d made him coffee to say thanks, the two of you talked, and you’ve been friends ever since.

“No Jimin?” You ask him. He gestures vaguely to the roof, where you can see a small blue hat bopping around. “Ah. I take it you aren’t finished yet, then.”

“Do you know any other reason my sister would have my boyfriend on the roof?” You share a grin with him as you both watch a strand of lights fly off somewhere. “Apparently she needed to make some last minute adjustments. That’s why she dragged us all out to the store, to hunt down some stuff for her.”

“Oh, did you happen to see one of those big dancing snowmen? The one that plays music, you can control it all from your phone? I looked everywhere and couldn’t find one, it’s the one thing I was missing. Had to use an inflatable yeti instead.” Yoongi frowns.

“Huh, how weird. That’s what we were-”

“I got it all ready, it just needs to be plugged in.”

Yoonji strides out from the house - looking as good as ever in some plaid pants, how dare she - and stops dead when she looks up and sees you.

“What are you doing here?” She snaps, and you scoff.

“Visiting a friend,” You respond with a nod towards Yoongi. You take a glance at the phone in her hand, then up to where you can see Jimin standing up a snowman. “Did you seriously steal my idea?!”

“What? No.”

“Really. Because I distinctly remember telling Jungkook about this yesterday while I was picking up my tree and you were right beside him talking to Seokjin. I was even going to put it on the roof so everyone could watch it dance to Pentatonix covers.”

“Like I would listen when you talk,” Yoonji says. Yoongi sighs but you can barely hear it over the flood of rage.

“Y’know what? Get fucked,” You tell her as you storm out of their yard and back to your parents’ house.

“I guess you won’t be coming to the holiday party then?” She calls over the road. You send her a rather vulgar hand gesture in return that you hope your parents don’t see. By the time you get inside, the snowman is playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song and you kind of want to set it on fire.

You do not win the competition that year.

[Today]

Maybe you should have listened to your parents when they said not to drive today. Probably you should have taken the big ass truck that your father keeps in the garage specifically for when the weather is bad, because it’s got that fancy four wheel drive and traction control and all sorts of stuff meant to keep people safe in the middle of floods and monsoons and blizzards. You definitely should have remembered to charge your phone before you left the house.

Especially considering that your car isn’t great in the snow now falling gently from the sky to land on your hood, mixing with the smoke pouring out from under it.

You’re lucky you managed to drift to the side of the road and get your hazard lights on, but that’s where said luck runs out. Your phone is dead, it’s several miles back to the house, even further than that to town, and the temperature is already dropping into dangerous territory.

You’ve been sitting here for three hours, though, tucked inside the residual warmth of your car with spare blankets wrapped around you as you watched night fall. You’re not sure what else you can do. There aren’t any wild animals around here, or anything like that, but it’s definitely too dangerous to trek back to the house.

“I should’ve just walked back earlier,” You groan as you bundle the blankets closer. “At least it was warmer then. Stupid car, stupid car, stupid me , didn’t charge your stupid phone, how dumb am I.”

Your tirade against yourself continues for several minutes and includes a few very crafty curses that would make your mother gasp. You’re in the middle of another when lights shine into your mirrors, nearly blinding you.

The lights slow and come to a stop behind your car. A door shuts and you scramble to exit, ready to get on your knees and beg whoever it is to give you a ride to literally anywhere that has heat.

It takes a second too long for you recognize the shiny purple jeep and the elegant black peacoat backlit by the headlights, and by the time you do, she’s already got an angry snarl on her face.

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” She demands. You shiver in response and glare at her.

“Oh, just hanging out, thought I’d take a little nap beside the road in the freezing cold, the usual y’know,” You bite back. She rolls her eyes and starts back towards her jeep. You frown, watching her, and she stops with one foot inside and her hand on the door.

“What are you waiting for?” She asks. You shrug, and she huffs. “Get in the fucking car, I’m taking you home before you turn into an icicle.” You don’t move and her frown deepens. “Fine, but if you die out here, I’m not the one that’s going to tell your parents it was because you were too stubborn to accept a ride.”

Guilt gnaws at you, and with a frustrated huff, you stomp your way over to the passenger side of her jeep and climb inside.

She’s careful as she drives, you notice. Long fingers wrapped tight around the wheel, jaw tensed so hard it could be stone, and one arm leaned against the window after she’s finished turning the heat up as high it will go.

It’s not even been five minutes when she tosses a thick, fleece-lined blanket at you. You look at her, ready to be pissed off, and she cuts you off before you can complain.

“Your teeth are chattering so loud that I can’t hear myself think. Try not to get hypothermia before we get there, okay?” You huff a disbelieving laugh but curl into the warmth of the blanket anyway. It feels almost too-warm, like when you pull clothes out of the dryer, but it’s a comfort against your freezing skin.

“Why are you even here? You aren’t heading back from town, you’re not heading to town. Do you just drive around looking for lost girls?”

“No,” She says carefully, hand tightening around the wheel. It’s all she says for a full minute before she sighs. “Your parents got worried.”

“What?! ”

“They said you went to town to pick up some salt for the sidewalk and drive, and that it had been hours, and that they hadn’t heard from you again even though you took your phone. They were scared that something had happened, so I…”

Your sarcastic response dies on your tongue when you look at her. Really look.

Her shoulders are tense and set, in a way you haven’t seen before. Her brows are creased, and the pretty lips you refuse to acknowledge are set in a thin line and turned down at the corners. There’s something fizzling in the air between the two of you, something new and unknown.

“...Were you worried about me?” You ask quietly. She shoots you a look and then laughs, a second too late with not enough amusement.

“Drink that,” She says, gesturing to a thermos. “It’s coffee, it’ll help you warm up a little.” You take the thermos, thoroughly enjoying the warmth it provides your hands, and take a sip. You don’t know why, but you’re surprised when it’s the exact way you like it. You shoot her a thoughtful look, wondering just how else she might surprise you.

The rest of the ride is quiet, only the lull of the engine and the tires. Neither of you talk much; perhaps because she’s too angry, but you’re too distracted by your own thoughts to say much.

There’s no way, right? The two of you hate each other, you have since you met. It tints all your interactions, colors every single conversation where either of you are even mentioned, it’s one of the basic facts of the universe.

So why, as Yoonji pulls into your parent’s driveway and smiles at where they stand watching from the window, do you have a feeling like maybe you’re wrong?

[One Year Ago]

“Really? Inflatables?”

You scowl and turn, already prepared. There stands Yoonji, arms crossed. The weather is fairly mild for the season, and she’s taking advantage of that. High waisted shorts, an off-the-shoulder top, lace-up boots, leather jacket, she looks like every rebellious lesbian you’ve ever dreamt about, and it only makes you hate her more.

“Yes, inflatables. Because some of us like a little fun. Besides, you stole my dancing snowman last year, and I wanted something you aren’t going to rip off.”

“I didn’t steal your-”

“Whatever,” You interrupt, not wanting to even bother to listen. “Don’t you have someone else to bother?”

She starts to say something else, but the slam of the front door cuts her off. You turn and grin, waving.

“Tae! C’mon, put it over here!”

Taehyung smiles and makes his way over, inflatable deer in his hands. Yoonji’s silent as he gets there and sets the animal where you direct. When he’s finished he turns to you, boxy smile and all, to make sure he’s good, and glances at Yoonji.

“Oh, you didn’t say you had a friend over,” He whines. “Now I’m being rude. Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung.”

Yoonji doesn’t answer, merely eyes with distaste the hand he’s got extended.

“Right. Well then, I’m gonna go get the fawn, alright? Be right back.” He smiles at you, and you watch as he jogs back into the house.

“I thought you only brought Namjoon with you this year.” You turn at Yoonji’s words.

“No, Tae came as well. It’s a good thing, too, because Joon is utterly useless now since he met Yoongi and Jimin. Little punks stole my best friend.” You’re only mostly kidding. You’re happy for Namjoon - he’s been somewhat lonely these days, and now he’s got not one but two handsome men vying for his affection.

It does reinforce your own loneliness, though.

“I thought you liked girls.” You look back at Yoonji and notice she’s got a small pout on her face. It’s cute.

“I do like girls.”

“Then why is Taehyung here?” The way she says his name is full of spite, and it makes you laugh.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize that I had to get your permission when I want to bring my friends and loved ones up to visit my parents for the holidays.” You adjust the inflatable deer, posing it so that it looks like it’s glaring at Yoonji’s house in anger.

Taehyung comes back out before Yoonji can say anything. He’s got his jacket off now, and he does look good in the simple white shirt and the headband that makes his hair look even fluffier than usual. You just really can’t focus on anything but the inflatable fawn he’s got tucked under one arm and the matching rabbit tucked under the other.

Yoonji’s eyes narrow ever so slightly, and you roll your eyes.

“You need another deer,” She spits before she turns around and stomps back to her house. Taehyung shoots you a look.

“I take it that’s Yoonji, then,” He says with a laugh. You make a puking sound and he tuts at you. “You’re supposed to be nice. That is not nice.”

“Yeah, well, she didn’t steal your dancing snowman, did she?”

Across the street, you can see Yoonji fuming as she stands on the porch, talking to Yoongi about something or other. They both look over and while your first instinct is to turn around like you haven’t been watching them, you resist. Instead, you give Yoongi a bright wave. He doesn’t return it but his frown lessens slightly, though that could be because Jimin stumbles, laughing, out of your parents’ house with Namjoon not far behind him.

Both of them have hearts in their eyes, and it only gets worse when they look at Yoongi.

“That’s disgusting,” Taehyung says with a wrinkle of his nose. “Eugh, they’re so couple-y and gross. Remind me not to come next year if Namjoon’s here.”

“Oh no,” You tell him with a grin as you wrap him in a hug. He’s warm and solid against you, as he always is, and you thoroughly enjoy it. “If I have to struggle, you do too.”

“Fine,” He whines dramatically. “But I’m bringing Hobi so he has to suffer, too.” You laugh and set him to work organizing the inflatable animals. There are eyes on your back the entire time, but you refuse to turn around and give Yoonji the satisfaction.

Especially once you realize that you do need another deer to make it look balanced and perfect.

[Today]

The holiday party is well underway by the time you arrive at Yoonji’s, however reluctantly you do so. Your mother and father disappear almost immediately, sucked into conversations with people they’ve known for years now; Tae and Hobi are tucked into a corner, nursing glasses of cider while they look at the rather extensive Winter Village display on the Mins mantle; Namjoon has been here for hours already, and is no doubt locked away in Yoongi’s room with the man himself, and Jimin, and you choose to believe that they’re having some philosophical discussion and not doing anything else.

You think you catch a glimpse of Jungkook amidst the people from the neighborhood, but by the time you get to where he was, there’s no sign of him, or the broad-shouldered man he’s usually with. Abandoned in the kitchen, you pour yourself some cider and spike it with a hint of rum, just to get you through the night.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” A voice says.

When you turn, you find Hwasa perched on the countertop, Chungha leaning back between her legs. Both are watching you curiously, and both look absolutely fantastic in figure-hugging dresses and tights and heeled boots. They look like they just stepped off a runway, but the look in their eyes feels more like a panther than a model.

“What boyfriend?” You ask eventually.

“Tall, great chest, soft hair,” Hwasa says. When you just stare at her, she smiles a little. “Boxy smile.”

“Oh, Tae?” You laugh a little. “He isn’t my boyfriend. I’m not even interested in him like that, he’s just my best friend.” The two women share a look and Chungha kisses her cheek before heading out of the room. Hwasa eyes you and you have the distinct feeling you’re being judged.

You thought you looked okay when you picked out the simple but nicer outfit; black sweater, maroon skirt, tall black boots. It’s classy but casual. You’re sure of it.

At least you were.

“So tell me about this thing with Yoonji,” Hwasa eventually says. You nearly choke on your cider.

“I mean...there’s not much to tell. We’ve hated each other ever since we met four years ago.”

“Oh?” Something lights up in her eyes that you don’t particularly like.

“Look, no offense to you or your girlfriend, Yoonji’s just...kinda mean for my tastes. I guess some people are into that.”

“Elaborate.” Her tone leaves no room for argument, and you find yourself explaining before you can stop. You tell her nearly everything, about all the shit Yoonji’s done to you, and by the time you’re finished, she’s actually smiling.

“Like...I’m sure you love her and all, otherwise you wouldn’t be dating her, but-”

“What? ” She nearly falls off the counter, she’s laughing so hard, and when you start to help steady her, she just waves you off. “No, sweetie, I’m dating Chungha, not Yoonji.”

“I thought you were dating both of them? Did you all break up?”

“Oh my god , she wasn’t kidding,” Hwasa says breathlessly, still fighting back giggles. “Holy shit, this explains so much. Ha, oh my god, no, we never were dating Yoonji, she’s just our best friend. Like you and that Taehyung guy?”

“Oh.” You feel foolish; it makes sense, friends can be just as physically close as romantic partners. You and Taehyung are proof enough of that. “I...just assumed…”

“I know, but you’re definitely wrong. You drink more cider, stew on that, maybe rethink things from another perspective, I’ve got to tell Chungha about this, it’s too good.” Hwasa hops off the counter with ease and disappears out the door before you can ask her to explain what she means about other perspectives. You can hear giggles as they slowly drown in the chatter of the party and the soft carols playing over the speakers.

You stay in the kitchen for a while, nursing your cider and thinking. If Yoonji doesn’t have two model-hot girlfriends, then could you have been onto something in the jeep that night? You’ve hated her for so long, and assumed that she hates you in return, but if you were wrong about the girlfriends, then maybe you’re wrong about that, too.

Something enters your vision and you look up, nearly spitting out your drink as you do.

Yoonji stands in front of you, in a slinky green velvet dress that she keeps tugging the bottom of. It doesn’t look like anything she usually wears, down to the floral lace tights and the wedge heels that make her even taller than she already is, and she looks slightly uncomfortable if the burn in her cheeks is any indication.

The worst part is that she looks good. Like, good good. It suits her, even if it isn’t her usual style, and for once you can’t deny the attraction swirling within your stomach.

“What are you wearing?” She asks angrily, glaring down at your clothes like they kicked her dog - whom you have not seen tonight, which is a travesty, because you adore Holly. A cough echoes from somewhere behind the two of you, and Yoonji wrinkles her nose. “I mean...I like...your outfit.”

You quirk a brow at her and set your cider down on the counter nearby. “Really? Because it looks like you want to tear it off and then set it on fire.” Something complicated happens with her expression and a spark ignites in your mind.

“Are you sick?” She asks. Her face does something else complicated as a groan echoes from nearby, and something painful twists in your stomach. You really didn’t think you looked that bad. “I mean, after the other day. With the snow. And the cold. Are you sick?”

“Is...this your way of telling me I look ill?” You ask her. She frowns. “Because if wanted me to leave your party, all you had to do was say that, you don’t have to insult me.” You head toward the door of the kitchen and there’s a scrambling that sounds much too loud for just her friends.

So your friends are also eavesdropping. Fantastic. Now everyone knows she’s insulted you. Just what you needed tonight.

Her hand catches your wrist as you’re about to leave the kitchen. “I didn’t mean it like that,” She mumbles, not making eye contact. “I just...wanted to make sure you were feeling okay. It was really cold that night, and you were out there for a long time.”

“So, what, you suddenly care? Why? Because you don’t want to win by default or something?”

“No, because I-” She cuts herself off with a groan, and you’re glad there are so many people around, because it seems like everyone’s distracted with something else. They’re too busy to notice this absolutely disastrous conversation.

“Hey look,” Taehyung says, appearing from nowhere and pulling roughly on Yoonji’s arm until she’s standing beside you in the doorway. “Mistletoe! How random! Guess you have to kiss!”

“That’s a stupid tradition,” Yoonji spits, and you’re inclined to agree with her. “Forcing people to kiss just because of some plant? How is that okay? Besides, it’s got nothing to do with the actual myth behind it, and-” She sounds like she could go on forever, but you cut her off.

“And it’s not like we want to kiss anyway.” Her grip on your wrist slackens, and you turn to look at her. Uncertainty fills you as you look at her expression, because the only word that comes to mind is crestfallen. “Right?”

“I...I mean…” Taehyung disappears as Yoonji searches for words, and you just know he’s hanging out somewhere nearby to watch it all happen.

“Because we’re nemeses.” You say slowly. “We hate each other.”

“Do we?” Yoonji asks quietly, threading her fingers through yours. “Do you?”

“Don’t you? ” You ask her. “You’ve been nothing but rude to me since we met. You’ve insulted me, and stolen my decorating ideas, and-”

“No,” She says quickly. “No, I never meant any of it like that, you just never gave me a chance to explain. You’re...you’re so pretty, and I always get flustered around pretty people, and I say the wrong things.”

“You told me I wasn’t as good if I didn’t have a significant other the first time we met.”

“I was trying to figure out if you were interested in women, and when you said you were, I just...panicked, because I figured you had someone, because you’re…” She gives a wave to your general being.

“You stole my dancing snowman.”

“I did not! I heard someone talking about a dancing snowman at the tree nursery, and I didn’t realize it was you, and I thought, since I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I’d get a dancing snowman that would play this cheesy playlist thing I made for you. I didn’t know you were looking for it, and I didn’t steal your idea. Not on purpose, anyway.”

“Okay, well...last year you were so rude! And you said you wouldn’t listen when I talked!”

“I thought…” She trails off, looking ashamed. “I thought you were dating Taehyung, and I got jealous. But the listening comment wasn’t like that! It’s because I always zone out because I like to listen to you talk, because your voice is so pretty, but I never hear what you actually say, and also you just...are really pretty. So I get distracted.”

“I…” You’re rather speechless; your entire world has shifted on its axis. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never.” Yoonji insists. “I just don’t know how to talk to pretty girls.”

“You hang out with Hwasa. And Chungha.”

“Yeah, and?” Her brows furrow. “What’s your point?” If you could, you would keysmash at her, but as it stands, you just gape.

“Uh, they’re literally model gorgeous?”

“Oh, are they?” She looks down at where your fingers are still entwined with hers. “I hadn’t noticed.”

You blink at her, and she looks up at you. There’s a faint smile playing on her lips, and something bright in her eyes that you haven’t seen before.

“I’m sorry,” You say, shaking your head. “I just still don’t-”

“Will you shut up?” Yoonji asks, free hand coming to gently glide across your cheek. “And let me kiss you?” Your jaw shuts with a snap and you nod.

Her lips are soft against your own, and your breath catches in your throat as you return the kiss. Her hand moves to grip your jaw, tilting your head ever so slightly so the two of you fit together that little bit better, and your hands come to rest on her hips.

Electricity sparks through you to her. She pulls back just a little and you’re distracted by the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips.

“This might be moving a little fast, since we hated each other an hour ago-”

“You hated me an hour ago,” She corrects.

“But I would be very, very happy taking this to a more private area so I can express to you just how apologetic I am that I thought you hated me.” You tear your gaze from her lips to look at her face. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown out at the mere thought.

“Upstairs,” She growls, already pushing you in the direction of the staircase. You’re both speeding through the crowd of people as fast as you can without being obvious, and you have to help her every few feet because she’s wobbly in her heels, but by the time you make it up the stairs and into her room, you’re both desperate.

Her mouth meets yours with a fire behind it that you’ve never felt before, and you hardly even get the door closed before she pushes you back against it. Your tongue darts along the seam of her lips and she grants you entrance, and you could moan at just the taste of her if you were just a little weaker.

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this?” She whispers, moving to nip at your neck. Her hands are under your sweater and you don’t even remember them getting there, but you can’t complain as they move to cup your breasts and tweak your nipples through your bra. “Can you even imagine how many times I’ve dreamt of touching you? Tasting you? Hearing you moan?”

She bites, hard and rough, and you can’t stop the moan that escapes you. How she possibly knows that you like that is something you don’t have the energy to ponder, nor the will to question.

“Please,” You breathe, hands tangling in her hair as she sucks a mark into the skin of your throat. She’s slotted between your thighs and your hips are rutting against hers ever so slightly, desperate for some friction. You know you’ve already soaked through your panties, which is a feat considering all she’s done is play with your nipples a little and kiss you like you’ve never been kissed.

“What is it, angel?” Her voice is deeper than usual, roughened by the desire coursing through your veins and hers, and it only makes you wetter. “What would you like me to do?”

“Anything,” You plead. “Please, just touch me.”

“Anything?” Yoonji mutters. She chuckles, low and raspy and so unbearably attractive that you want to scream. You almost do scream, from frustration, when she pulls her hands away from your nipples, but she drops to her knees and you forgive her.

Yoonji kisses up your thighs, from the edge of your boots all the way to where the hem of your skirt hits mid-thigh, and her hands are warm as they slide underneath. She doesn’t stop kissing you, not even as she lifts the fabric of your skirt and nips at the crease where your thighs meet your hips. Still, she’s so far away from where you need her, that you can’t help your whine.

“Patience, angel,” She whispers as she glides one finger along your fabric-covered lips. Your hips rut forward on instinct, and she laughs a little.

“You stole my dancing snowman, you could at least be quick about this,” You mutter.

“What’s the fun in being rushed?” She leans forward to mouth at your pussy through your underwear and your legs tremble slightly. She’s gentle as her hands slide your underwear down to pool around your ankles, and even more gentle as they glide back up to rest on your thighs. “But I’ll be nice this time. Besides, I’ve been dreaming of what this pussy tastes like for years.”

Anything else you might say to her is cut off with a moan as her tongue starts to tease at your clit. One of your hands comes to rest on the back of her hair before you even realize you’ve moved, and she takes that as all the encouragement she needs.

Yoonji eats pussy like it’s the last meal she’ll ever have, and you’re in absolute awe. The way her tongue moves against you is absolute bliss, no matter where it is; she teases at your entrance, sliding the very tip of her tongue inside to gather your wetness before she runs the flat of it up to your clit, where she circles and sucks mercilessly before moving back down to thrust it in and out and in and out relentlessly. She coaxes an orgasm out of you faster than anyone else ever has, and even as your writhing against the door with her head under your skirt, she doesn’t stop.

Instead, she slides one long finger inside of you and keeps it there. She doesn’t move it, doesn’t even allow it to twitch, but it’s there and you can feel it as she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks, making your clench around her. She moans into your pussy, too, the entire time she’s at work between your legs, and it only turns you on more when you glance down to see her hand between her legs.

“Yoonji, please, I want, please, I wanna taste you too, please,” You beg, tugging gently on her hair until she pulls back. Her chin is covered in your cum and the sight is so unbelievably unerotic that you could probably come just from that.

“Take this off,” She growls, pulling on your skirt as she stands. You do as she says without hesitation, more than willing to get naked if it means getting your mouth on her, and by the time your boots are in the corner with the rest of your clothes, she’s just as naked as you are.

And god, she’s beautiful.

Your lips meet hers again as you push her towards the bed, and you can taste yourself on her tongue as it slides against yours. The two of you tumble onto the mattress and you situate yourself between her thighs. It isn’t until you’ve got her legs spread wide and your licking and sucking at her nipples that you register that her face is flushed with something new.

“What is it?” You ask, panting, as you detach from her - beautiful, wonderful, adorable, perfect - tits. “Do you not want me to? I don’t have to, I just would really like to, it’s up to you.”

“No, it’s not that, I’ve just never…” She trails off, looking embarrassed, and realization smacks you in the face.

“No one has ever gone down on you before?” You ask in disbelief. She shakes her head.

“I’ve always been the one to do so, all the other girls have been kind of...well. I’m usually the dominant one, so…”

“Yoonji, sweetheart,” You say seriously, pressing a kiss to her cheek with each word. “Will you allow to me to eat you out? Because seriously, those other girls are trash, and I would absolutely cherish the experience if it’s something you want.”

Her face turns even more pink and she nods. You press a quick kiss to her lips and gently spread her thighs so you have better access. You mimic her actions from earlier, pressing kisses to her thighs and the crease of her hips. When you finally get a taste of her, you moan.

She tastes like absolute fucking bliss, you decide as you glide your tongue through her folds. You could live off of nothing but the taste for her until the end of time itself, and the way she moves is amazing. Little jerks and thrusts, and her fingers tangle in your hair to push you closer even as her hips pull away slightly.

Your tongue rubs circles around her clit, flicking and licking and coaxing her closer and closer to her high. You dip down to fuck your tongue into her for a second or two, and the way her back arches is art in motion. You reach one hand up to tweak one of her nipples while your other arm remains wrapped around her hip like a steel bar, keeping her in place even as she grinds against your mouth.

You remember how it felt earlier when she wrapped her lips around your clit, so you mimic the action. Her bud fits perfectly between your lips, and when you suck on it, she tenses. Everything stops for a second, and you’re afraid maybe you ruined it, but then her whole body jerks, and she presses you hard against her. You lap up her essence as it comes, eager and more than willing, and when she finally stops spasming, you pull yourself away with a grin.

“Holy shit,” She mutters, and you laugh.

“I can’t believe no one’s ever eaten you out before,” You sigh, one hand sliding along her waist to massage her breasts. “Does that mean no one’s ever fucked you before either?”

“I mean…” You stop, staring at her with wide eyes. “I told you, I’m usually the dominant one, so most people don’t really...return the favor.”

“Can I please fuck you?” You ask in a rush. “Please, I promise I’ll be gentle.” She huffs a little, and you think it’s amused but you can’t be sure, because she’s spreading her legs again and your focus is elsewhere.

“Yeah, angel, you can fuck me.”

You lower yourself to kiss her, lingering and deep, and you don’t miss the moan she gives as she tastes herself on your tongue. You wait until she’s thoroughly distracted by the way your mouths move, then glide your fingers over her.

Her clit is still sensitive, based on the way she jumps as you ghost your fingers over it, so you avoid that. You don’t want to overwhelm her. She groans as you slide a single single finger inside her, and you moan.

Her walls are softer than the velvet of her dress, and warm around you. She’s tight, too, so incredibly tight that you aren’t sure you’ll be able to fit another inside her. She moans as you slide your finger out and then back in, gathering more of her wetness as you do.

You’re careful as you fuck her, gentle and slow, and you think you could get addicted to it. Her hips move in time with your hand, gaining speed as you do. “Fuck, angel, it’s so good,” She whimpers. You smile.

“Let me know if it gets too much, okay?” She nods, and you start to slide a second finger in. Yoonji winces, just a little, so you slow until her hips rock against your hand.

“More,” She breathes. “Please, more.”

“As you wish,” You tell her. You still are gentle as you thrust into her, feeling her walls contract around you. It’s heaven, absolute perfection, and you tell her so as she grips onto the sheets.

You latch your mouth onto her nipple as you continue fucking her, biting and sucking as your fingers curl.

“I need, ah, please, I need more, I need, holy fuck, to come, I need to come,” She moans desperately. You grin and curl your fingers more, sliding them against her walls. You finally find what you’re looking for, that small spongey spot that has her convulsing around you.

“That’s right, baby,” You coo, “Come on, I know you want to.”

Her hands are in a death grip on your shoulders, and they only get tighter as you press harder against that spot inside her. She comes with a cry that you muffle with your own mouth, her body shaking as she lets go.

You slide your fingers out when she’s relaxed a little more, licking the taste of her off as she pants.

“Holy shit,” She breathes. You grin, peppering kisses along her stomach, up her chest, along her throat and over her cheeks. “Can we do that every day?”

“I dunno,” You tease. “Are you going to steal my dancing snowman again?”

She rolls her eyes and shoves at your shoulder, and you laugh.

“I’m just saying, you’re supposed to be nice to the people you like.”

“I’m bad at that, though,” She mutters. “I always just...say the wrong thing. I’m more of a do-er.”

“I’m still caught up on how I was supposed to know you liked me based on the things you did.”

“Really?” She huffs, glaring at you playfully. “I went tree shopping at five in the morning for you.”

“Yeah,” You say softly, grinning. “You did.”

25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Christmas Anthology

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wisqcrafts · 4 years

Text

19 Home Quarantine Boredom Busters!

Bored? Bored??? Complain about your neighbors, your family, the government, the sky, anything else. But I never wanna hear or see anyone complain about boredom. Sorry not sorry. There's so many masterposts of things to do and free online resources. Here are just some of my dork ass ideas:

1) Free (yes FREE) online college courses from, you know, Yale, Harvard, MIT, etc:

https://www.coursera.org/

https://ocw.mit.edu/courses/find-by-topic/#cat=engineering&subcat=nuclearengineering&spec=nuclearsystemspolicyandeconomics

https://www.edx.org/school/harvardx

https://www.freecodecamp.org/news/ivy-league-free-online-courses-a0d7ae675869/?fbclid=IwAR1a9qAE6IcqmcQpPaTmXH6q63QBCA95rntnZPY0ah_U80d8u0wa9wAIYhc

What, like it's hard?

2) "Tattoo" practice - This is a personal idea of mine. Basically, you just take some non-toxic markers to draw on yourself or whoever youre in home quarantine with that wants a fake tattoo. This isn't the best time to be getting real tattoos but you can have fun seeing what youd look like with a one. If you dont really draw, you can print designs to cut into stencils.

3) Bento "stories" - I got this idea from the mom that went viral for the creative bentos she makes for her kids. I think, for even just one meal a day, it would be cute to tell a story with each bento. So if you're living with someone, they need to wait til the next day to find out what happens next! If you live alone, make them for yourself and post your bento story online.

https://www.boredpanda.com/creative-bento-food-art-samantha-lee/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

4) Karaoke - By yourself or with others, doesn't matter, make it a party! Just search for your karaoke sobgs on Youtube. And anything is a microphone: hairbrush, remote, piece of fried chicken.... Good for you if you have one of those bluetooth mics tho.

5) Professor Day - Okay this one is really nerdy but it's more fun than it sounds. Pick a random topic, anything at all, and prepare a "lesson" or presentation on it. It could be one of your interests, an intro to a new language, or something you always wanted to learn. You can keep it to yourself, share the file online, or better: Dress the part and call your home quarantine buddies in for "class." If you live alone, teaching a class of inanimate objects would make for a silly yet informative video on your topic. Hey maybe this can catch on! Everyone can be an expert of something they're passionate about and should share their unique take on it, who knows who will be into it.

6) Miss Going Outside? Bring the experiences indoors! Like the family that made a home grocery for their grandma, you can make part of your home into something you miss from the outside world. Museum? Plenty offer free virtual tours. Cinema? If you don't have a big TV, you can make a projector for your phone with a shoebox. Camping? Hello, pillow fort and blanket tent. Roast marshmallows on the stove. Play relaxing nature sounds on your speaker. (Try the free app Relax Melodies, I love the mixing feature) Get creative with your space and what you have to make something you want. When you're really bored and missing the outdoors, Youtube or Google Streetview somewhere you wish you could go.

https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/75809/12-world-class-museums-you-can-visit-online

https://www.relaxmelodies.com/?utm_expid=.P1gqxCs8TYuGTBlAbE0VkQ.0&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F

https://newsvideo.su/video/12560164

https://www.instructables.com/id/Build-A-Smartphone-Projector/

7) Room Makeover - No better time to do it! It's good exercise and it's a creative experience.

8) New Hair Dont Care - This is the best time to try an outrageous haircut or color since you're stuck at home. If it doesn't turn out ideal, no one has to know. If you love it, great! You can try any look you normally wouldn't wear outside or at work.

9) Safe Science Experiments - emphasis on the word SAFE. Safety first, always. There's plenty of free resources online for instructions, esp on YouTube.

10) Consume All The Free Movies, Shows, Music, Books, Audio Books and even Comics Online... it's endless! So much free... And now not so little time. You won't run out of things to watch, read, or listen to.

https://www.epubor.com/10-best-sites-for-free-comic-books.html

https://www.bettercloud.com/monitor/15-classic-video-games/

http://www.loyalbooks.com/genre/Non-fiction

https://www.digitalbook.io/search-audiobooks-ebooks.html#!///history

https://documentaryaddict.com/

11) Make a Short Film - Get creative or just be silly! Try stop motion with old toys, get yourself or someone you're home with into acting, or make your pet a star.

12) Tea Party - Be a kid again and dress up for tea... but put whatever twist you want on it! Wear an old Halloween costume or something! If you live alone, video call your friends or family to join you for tea.

13) Spa Day - All the pampering you didn't have time for when work/school wasn't from home? You have time now. DIY facial. Bubble bath. Nail art. Really soak in every little act of self love.

14) Practice drag makeup, styling, and performance for fun. Your gender or sexual preference doesn't even matter here. Its all good fun! Be a drag queen or king for a day. Lip sync for your life by yourself or make it a drag race with your home quarantine mates.

15) Mystery Day - Create a fake crime scene and have your friends/family solve it! Doesn't have to be a big mess and you don't have to make it so complicated for yourself or your home quarantine fam. You could also just write a simple mystery/riddle online for friends to solve if you live alone. You can even assign roles like accomplice, police, detective, etc. Work your brain, the goal is to kill boredom right?

16) Scrapbook - or Burn Book, Spell Book, pop-up book, revolutionary manifesto, whatever. Use anything you have as a base even if it has writing: an old phone book, something missing pages, a faded magazine, whatever. Then stick any pics, stickers, printouts, tags, wrappers, etc you want. What kind of book will it be?

17) Art Therapy - Even if you dont consider it something you're "good" at, use art to express yourself. It doesn't just have to be drawing, painting, or sculpting... You can pick up a forgotten musical instrument you may have lying around and just keep trying. Youtube is life. Countless tutorials for everything.

18) Crafts Crafts Crafts - Theres so many simple crafts to try at home. 5 Minute Crafts on Youtube and various other channels offer some great yet easy ideas. Try going about it in this order:

a) Look around your house for stuff you don't need. Set aside for craft pile or donate pile.

b) Look around again for any ways you can improve you home. You need mor storage? Is your shoe rack broken? Are you always missing something? Then search online for crafts specific to that.

c) Set up a neat work space with your craft pile and some tools you can use. Note: Never use kitchen items for crafts if you still intend to use them on food. You may be able to wash them but you can't undo any damage from crafting trial and error.

https://youtu.be/AROj7nkH2LQ

19) If you have any skill that can possibly help frontliners during this crisis, do see what you can do without risking your own health. If you can sew, donate masks or even PPE suits as there are guides online for the right patterns and materials. Even just a few pieces are helpful. If you sing, sing for our frontliners. If you write, write about them. Do your research about the situation in your town. Health workers, sanitation workers, grocery staff, and other essential workers are all putting their lives on the line. All we have to do is stay home but we can make the most of it.

https://drive.google.com/drive/mobile/folders/1-Xr-67gs2qw0o44-hy-INb89I9m-wcLD?fbclid=IwAR2q0JV6uqgDW5e_m5X5ABLv86rXdQodXh4x5fYDg9_WRsMe0hQwki9PUTk&fbclid=IwAR3Oofo8FIjzwZOoLepnGxYTrST_zV1dRf6NMtoWVRQVSuho1nnqwG5esUE

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cnet.com/google-amp/news/coronavirus-face-mask-what-you-need-to-know-about-making-a-covering-at-home/

#own post #covidー19 #covid 19 #covid19 #covidquarantine #cdc coronavirus #coronavirus #social distancing #isolated #isolation #quarantine

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saints-row-2 · 6 years

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film watch day 31: Every Halloween Film

happy Halloween today i watched every Halloween film currently available to me. i couldnt get to rewatch Halloween 2018 but i already wrote about it a couple of weeks back so feel free to revisit that post. anyway, i watched ten Halloween movies today. It took around 17 hours. i started at 11:15am and im writing this now at 6 am.

so lets get to the post. for the most part i went in chronological order, except i chose to start with Rob Zombie’s remakes because i knew if i didnt id be finishing the day by watching them at the break of dawn and the idea of doing that was so fucking putrid to me that i decided to get them out of the way first.

Halloween (2007)

i hate this fucking movie. i mentioned in an ask the other day but im happy to repeat here, i dont hate the idea of expanding on Michael’s backstory. like the fact is we largely know his backstory, the issue is how this film chose to portray it. the original Halloween is frightening because its based around the idea that the seemingly safe, quiet suburbs are not as safe as they seem; you can be on a street youve known your entire life, only a few metres from your own home, and still at risk. the whole idea of showing Michael as a murderer when he was six is to tell us that anyone could be a threat, that our conventions that all killers are a particular kind of person is false.

Halloween 2007 says fuck that, we know what serial killers are, and theyre those poor kids who come from shitty neighbourhoods and have abusive parents and mothers who are sex workers. everything that Halloween brings to the table is fucking tedious, played out, and massively uninspired. it wants to bring us the truth about why Michael is like he is, but Rob Zombie’s only understanding of serial killers is in the cliche and exploitative. he has nothing honest about human nature to show us, only the exact same stories that have been fed to us by crime and horror movies past.

this film is incredibly loud and in fucking constant motion. even on steady shots of still scenes the camera constantly shakes, and in every other scene its always whirling around from tracking shot to panning over the scene to just idly zooming in and out of nothing. Zombie’s favourite shot is to have something large and out of focus in the foreground -- like some plants -- and to shoot the characters standing about six feet away muttering to themselves. every single fucking shot in this movie lingers too long, every scene drags a little longer than it needs to. this film moves with the pace that i would describe as “family guy gag”.

and this film is so loud. people are always talking or screaming, largely about nothing important or interesting. theres always music, but it never particularly adds anything; for reasons i fail to fucking understand the entirety of the original theme plays over mostly uninteresting tracking shots of a minor character walking around yelling filler lines about nothing.

the writing is horseshit. everyone in this film is vile, no one talks or behaves like real human beings. almost every exchange in this movie is the characters saying the exact same thing back and forth inanely, frequently punctuated by screaming FUCK as loudly as possible and talking about sex in a way that 40 year old men really really wished teenage girls talk about sex. Halloween (2007) is thoughtlessly gross and mean and nasty, disconnected from any kind of human sensitivity and empathy. it wants to be complicated and to be deep but its crushingly simplistic and stupid. the only thing that redeems it is that its not Halloween II (2009). speaking of which...

Halloween II (2009)

jesus christ this movie is so fucking boring. Halloween II is two hours long but feels like its about twenty hours long. i felt like i was watching this film for twenty days and twenty nights. i was trapped in an eternal purgatory with this movie.

i really cant fucking emphasise how boring this film is. endless scene after scene of nothing of consequence happening, uninteresting death scenes that add nothing, and Michael wandering around doing jack shit. Halloween II fucking made Michael Myers boring, and im saying this as someone who (as i repeat once every 8 seconds) has a tattoo of him. this film couldnt hold MY interest in two of my favourite characters of all time.

the big fun new addition from the first movie is the presence of Michael and Laurie’s mother as a kind of weird goth ghost guiding Michael to kill. i dont know why Michael had to be Jason Voorhees and be a mommy’s boy all of a sudden, but this addition brings absolutely nothing of interest to the film or to his character. its meant to be symbolic of fucking... something im sure, but it feels meaningless. somehow Michael and Laurie are both able to see and interact with this ghost and the ghost has an agenda to do... something? it feels about as intelligent and coherent as the bullshit cult of thorne shit from 6, but a lot less fun. at some point Michael Myers apparently has mind control powers?

not to repeat myself a hundred fucking times but this film is insanely unpleasant to watch. every scene someone is screaming, generally wailing “fuck you bitch” at anyone in their vicinity. this is two hours of people howling swear words at each other and not infrequently making rape jokes. Rob Zombie loves rape jokes! almost as much as he loves putting sexual assault in his movies over and over again for no reason.

there is nothing to enjoy in this film. theres nothing to gain. there is too much slow-mo and far too many strobe lights and absolutely nothing of any intelligence or grace. Halloween II is a thirteen year old boy in a korn T-shirt calling his mom a bitch while he draws zombies on the back of his homework, which he will get an F for because the only thing he wrote was “reading is for faggots”.

Halloween (1978)

what the fuck can i say. this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, if not the greatest. its one of my favourite movies. its forty years old and still just as chilling and frightening as it ever was. it has some shot composition and cinematography thats up with the best ive ever seen, all while being shot on a budget of $300,000. it does more with less than just about any film, launched the slasher genre, shot Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom and created a pop culture icon that stayed strong for decades. its a masterclass in tension and suspense, a lean-cut perfectly paced film with heaps of atmosphere and character.

i love this film with a frantic passion that makes me unable to talk about it in a particularly helpful way. i cant “review” Halloween. I love this film beyond reason and sense and you either get it or you dont.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II is largely one of the less remembered entries in the franchise; its a decent enough movie, neither matching up to the highs of the original or the lows of the later films. its a pretty enjoyable little film, created under the logic of ‘well the first one did well, lets do the same thing again’. Carpenter wrote the script but didn’t direct, and while the film has a solid story, the directing lacks his signature flair. its hard to pinpoint, because the film is generally fairly well-shot, but lacks a kind of eye for shot composition that Carpenter made look easy, doesnt have as much patience for suspense.

on its own merits, theres still some great shots and great scenes in the movie. and a lot of really cool kills; II got a lot more creative with what Michael was capable of, and i think the boiling water drowning kill is rightfully pretty infamous.

this was the last Halloween movie Carpenter wrote, and it was the film where the idea of Laurie and Michael being siblings was introduced. and believe me ill defend this fucking decision to the grave. adding the human connection between Michael and Laurie gives a whole other layer to their relationship thats so fascinating to me, and i love that other films try to expand on the themes of family. in general, deciding that this film would continue to focus on Laurie and not do what later slashers did with bouncing around between different casts was a great fucking move, ironically for a franchise that was intended to be an anthology.

quietly exploring the aftermath of the first film was a good idea for a follow-up, and i especially really enjoy Loomis’ role in this movie, and his discussion about who Myers is. the biggest disappointment for me personally is that Laurie lacks a lot of presence in this film. Curtis is great, as always, but the movie dawdles on some side characters who are too disconnected from her to get a sense of what shes going through.

all that being said, Halloween II is decent. the ending is really great, with some really powerful shots. Michael bleeding from the eyes of his mask after Laurie shoots him is one of the best fucking images in horror and him swinging blindly as Laurie and Loomis slowly orchestrate his death is a fucking amazing scene. i have an immense fondness for this movie, with all its flaws. it brings a lot of really cool concepts to the table, and i think it deserves some appreciation.

heres a question tho; where the fuck were Laurie’s parents. theres a suggestion theyre missing, but theres no explanation why and we never hear from them. did michael kill them too? hello? mr and mrs strode? your daughter just fucking killed a guy and all her friends are dead. where the fuck are you.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III is infamous as being the Halloween movie that isn’t about Michael Myers at all. when it first released it was wildly unpopular and remained so for quite a while, but has had a surge in popularity over the last few years. i think just about every horror critic i know now considers Halloween III one of the best in the franchise. and to be fair to it, its a great little movie. not a slasher at all but rather a conspiracy thriller, Halloween III is all about the mystery of what the Silver Shamrock mask-making company are really up to, and why people are disappearing. its a weird and creative little movie, with some really fucking great practical effects that turn it from just being a thriller to being an all-out horror film. it has a few too many ineffective jumpscares and some of the plot twists are kind of disappointing and feel a little too much like the easy option -- and then others are so wildly bizarre no one would see them coming because theyre fucking completely out there. but i kind of love that sort of nonsense in a horror movie. like lets just have a fucking good time in here for once in our fucking lives.

Halloween III is not a perfect or even a really great movie, but yknow, fuck it. the idea that only perfect films are worth watching is dumb. i appreciate the weird shit this film tried and i think it deserves a lot more respect than what it got; if it had been released under another title it probably would have gone down as a classic instead of being derided for years, you ask me.

now things start going rapidly downhill

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 4 is when Jamie is introduced as the new final girl; Laurie’s seven year old daughter, after Laurie herself died off-screen in a fucking car crash. the decision to kill off Laurie came from Jamie Lee Curtis decided not to return to the character and instead of recasting her, they went with just having her… die. off-screen. in the franchise where the previous two movies were about her triumph and determination to stay alive. like its the casual thoughtlessness of this that, the idea no one would give a shit a character returned, that in my eyes epitomises how fucking little anyone cared about this franchise going forward.

man the idea of Laurie dying completely irrelevant to Michael… thats a lot. anyway continuing on his quest to erase anyone related to him, Michael starts targeting his niece Jamie for the three movies in the franchise. this is where the series started rapidly losing any grip on reality. while Michael always had some kind of superhuman elements to him (he took six bullets to the chest and survived in the first movie) these became increasingly wildly exaggerated. now hes crushing peoples skulls with his bare hands shit like what the fuck. first of all do that to me and secondly, it was this kind of slide into unreality that let the supernatural elements of the series creep in further until you end up with the shitshow that is Halloween 6. like it was the decrease in the impact of violence and human life that really fucked this franchise over.

this film is not great. its a definite decline in quality after 2 and was on the slippery slope downwards. it has some high points, primarily in Dr Loomis. Donald Pleasance is a better actor than most movies deserve and brings gravitas to a role that in the hands of a less capable actor would be laughable. his sincere plea to Michael at one point to just kill him instead of going after Jamie is honestly fucking tragic.

outside of that, the film isnt massively interesting. Michael himself isnt particularly threatening or engaging, and his mask looks like shit in this film. the characters in this film are largely very stupid, also, which doesnt help anything much.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

if theres a Halloween movie people talk about the least, its this one. II has the sibling twist, III is the black sheep, 4 is the return, even 6 gets talked about for its troubled production history. no one has anything to say about Halloween 5. and thats mostly because there is fucking nothing to say about Halloween 5. it is a relentlessly fucking dull movie that pads out its 100 minute run time with endless unnecessary scenes of shit that does… nothing. this film is dull in a way that i find incredibly detestable. i cant even watch it through a haze of impassioned anger like i can with the also incredible dull Halloween II (2009). its just fucking boring. every single scene drags like its trying to walk on two broken legs. the plot is so bare bones its nonsensical. it constantly adds new characters and new elements but all that does is makes it more incoherent and confusing. watching this movie i literally found my fucking eyes glazing over in my skull. if this film was edited correctly it would be twenty minutes long. i cannot fucking emphasise enough how much of relentless slog it is. Halloween 4 was dull but even that had the lifeline of ‘some cool ideas’. Halloween 5 is nothing. Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water.

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

if Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water Halloween 6 is just a fresh hot glass of piss. there are two versions of Halloween 6, the director’s cut and the theatrical release, and both are wretched. this film went full ham with introducing the supernatural elements, telling us that Michael was his whole life psychically controlled by a pagan cult called the Cult of Thorne in order to make Halloween scary again or summon the devil or who fucking cares. this movie is fucking insufferably dull, totally absurd, and wildly unsympathetic. i loathe Halloween 6 and every terrible, stupid plot decision it makes. Paul Rudd defeats Michael Myers by drawing druid symbols on the ground and Michael just gives up and lies down. theres a baby that does nothing and serves no purpose. Halloween is apparently banned in Haddonfield, which makes this more closely related to Footloose than Halloween i think. this film takes itself incredibly seriously while spouting nothing but total fucking bullshit drivel and i dont believe that anyone involved in this movie, from the cast to the cameraman to the guy who served the lunch had any faith in this movie outside of the vague hope it might make money and i wish this movie had been burned at the stake. also i hate Paul Rudd.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

oh thank fucking god finally some good fucking food. Halloween H20 took the decision to retcon all the sequels (except II) twenty years before Halloween 2018, proving that everyone knew 5 and 6 were fucking mistakes.

this film loses a lot of the Halloween feeling in favour of making a more generic late 1990s/early 2000s style horror. theres nothing particularly interesting about the way this movie is directed or shot, the music is largely very generic, it has a generally uninteresting glossy quality to it that studio movies always do. its very obvious this movie was inspired by Scream and it looks a lot more like Scream than it does Halloween. all of this makes me kind of sad, but other films in the franchise have proved that other directors generally are not capable of imitating Carpenter’s style so maybe its better they dont really try.

what H20 does so well, and the reason i love it so much, is that it explores the relationship between Michael and Laurie, which is something im endlessly fascinated with. this was the first movie to have Laurie shake off her fear and rise up against Michael, and while it doesnt do it with quite as much depth and intelligence as Halloween 2018, it still has a fucking good crack at Laurie’s character, and its still powerful watching her turn on the man who terrorised her for years. Michael is great in this movie too; while he has a terrible mask, watching him back on his shit as a furious force of nature who wants nothing more than to destroy anyone who gets in his way.

honestly i kind of enjoy having a Halloween in a different style; theres something fun about seeing characters recontextualised and done with justice and empathy. most of the Halloween sequels before this one (and after, looking at Resurrection) are shallow, unconcerned with any kind of emotional depth or personality. and while a lot of the stock filler characters in H20 who are lined up for the chopping block arent that interesting and dont particularly standout, watching Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance and seeing her interplay with Michael is enough. and most of the side characters arent particularly annoying, which is more than i can say for half this franchise.

this film also has what is one of my absolute favourite endings in a movie ever; the final confrontation between Michael and Laurie has a particular interaction between them that i absolutely adore and that alone is enough to make this movie one of my favourites.

H20 isnt perfect; it weirdly feels like a blueprint that Halloween 2018 would later refine into a better movie, but the idea its going to be completely disregarded for Halloween 2018 in the future makes me a little sad. in the face of so many fucking mediocre and awful Halloween sequels it did the right thing in trying to focus on what actually mattered; the connection between Michael and Laurie, although i dont feel like it succeeded in making Michael as scary as 2018 would much later. that said, the shot where Michael and Laurie just stare at each other through the glass of a window? that gives me chills every time. and hearing the Halloween theme kick in as Laurie marches off into the school with an axe looking for Michael is so fucking triumphant.

i love H20 even if Michael’s mask looks like his hair was dunked in a bucket of water and then gently blow-dried. i have no idea why it looks so fucking stupid in this movie. why is it so hard to get Michael’s mask right. you wouldnt think it was that fucking hard. anyway, i really fucking love Laurie Strode a lot, which didnt help to make Resurrection any easier to swallow.

Halloween: Resurrection

so whats the obvious thing to do after you have a movie where the power and emotion all comes from the emotional catharsis of seeing a woman get her vengeance on her tormentor? you, uh, make a sequel in which she is immediately defeated and pointlessly killed after its revealed her victory at the end of the previous film was entirely false, and then you never return to focus on her and instead introduce a horde of entirely uninteresting stock characters. yeah, makes sense.

Resurrection is fucking incredibly stupid, in the kind of fucking hysterical way only really bad horror movies can capture. theres absolutely nothing of Halloween in this other than the presence of Michael, who just as easily could have been replaced with anyone or anything. the story has a group of people on a reality show staying in the Myers house to… stay there? its not entirely clear what the challenge is meant to be, other than to just be inside the house, which i imagine gets to be pretty dull viewing pretty quickly. theres no suggestion theyre like, hunting for ghosts or something along those lines, theyre just… looking at stuff.

Michael slopes around this movie like he doesnt fucking understand where he is or whats going on, an entirely out of place relic of better times past while the cast cavorts around him doing nothing of interest and having no plots or characterisation to speak of. the film has exactly two or three funny moments, including the legendary ‘Michael Myers getting electrocuted in the dick by Busta Rhymes’, but youre way, way better off just looking that up on youtube instead of watching this movie. there is an hour of pointless plot development about characters no one cares about until Michael starts fucking killing people. this movie shouldnt exist and we should all go back to pretending it doesnt.

and thats it. thats all the halloween films. i can die now.

#rantsfilmwatch #this is around 4000 words long so yknow consider yourself warned

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tessmontyart · 5 years

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2018 Year In Review

Another year, another review 💕(I actually typed most of this up before 2019 and then got distracted, whoops)

To put things short, 2018 has been AWESOME :D Exhausting and fast, but awesome.

I started it off pretty uncertain how things were going to go, dreading it would be a repeat of 2017′s boring TAFE courses and endless job rejections. But the miracle happened - a 2D animation studio opened up near me, I applied, did an animation test and got the job!

The job was a contract from 1st of April - 21st of December, so I spent the majority of my year going to work to animate characters for a really crazy but hilarious new kids show called Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena, due to air mid 2019 :)

It was honestly the most fun job I have ever had and I can’t wait for the next project! 🎉 I have never been this exhausted in my life, though. 😅I had already booked a whole bunch of conventions before I got the job, and didn’t want to cancel them so I was working nonstop - Animation during the day and intensive convention prep every night.

I also had the bright idea of creating a full colour 26 page comic -with a tight deadline - so I was madly working to the point I didn’t even have time for dinner half the time :’) I am sort of happy with the comic, but also kind of wish I never had the idea in the first place. 😅

I tabled at a ton of conventions; Melbourne Supanova, Central Coast ComiCon, Other Worlds Zine Fair, Sydney Supanova, SMASH and Canberra Gamma Con. If next year doesn’t go so well on the job side of things I’m hoping to add a few more conventions to that list - Brisbane Supanova, Oz Comic Con and Animaga to name a few. I’ve already booked Sydney Madman Anime Festival!

2018 was the year my partner and I celebrated our 4th year together, and he never fails to amaze me with his continuous love and support. I was too sick to attend the first day of SMASH, so he set up and ran the whole stall for me while I stayed at home. Same with Sydney Supanova, I was too bogged down in animation work and couldn’t afford to take the Friday off, so he set up and ran the stall for me on Friday, then we ran the stall together on the weekend. He also tended to my every need when I broke my toe, cooked all my meals when I was busy with work and even packaged + posted all my Etsy orders every day because I was always working during post office hours. He listened to all the problems I was having with my stall setup and helped make shelves and decorations to make it look and function better. I was getting stressed because my desk space was too small, BAM he bought me a brand new desk with plenty of storage. I was getting stressed that I had so much on my convention to-do-list and couldn’t keep track of all my project ideas, BAM, he sets up a whiteboard and helps me brainstorm everything so I can keep track of all my thoughts and ideas and what to prioritise for future conventions. I didn’t even ask him to do any of this, he just loves to help me and make me happy and I am forever blissed and happy to be able to spend my life with such a wonderful human!

(Home made High Tea I made for him on Valentines Day)

Arsty Highlilghts / accomplishments:

🌸I designed 9 cute Houseki no Kuni acrylic charms which have been doing really well at conventions!

🌸I also drew a cute series of ‘Sleepy Gem’ Houseki no Kuni / Steven Universe holographic prints, which I’m quite proud of 😊

🌸I created my 2nd enamel pin design, which already needed 2 reorders because they were so popular! ;w; I never knew I could make something that so many people love *sob* I’ve already planned to make these into a series! (already designed some deer ones, and thinking of doing foxes next ^_^ )

🌸I also tried getting gold foil prints done for the first time, which was pretty cool! I got the american sizes mixed up though so I might try for the bigger size next time :) (grainy photo cause its a screenshot from a video)

🌸I’ve been taking steps to make my stall look more ‘professional’, and got a really neat wooden sign made for me by my friend as_sweet_as_jasmine!

🌸I’ve started revamping my favourite series of posters - the Eevee Gijinka girls :) I plan to have them all done and ready for 2019s conventions!

🌸This was the year I got an iPad, so I could do digital art on-the-go. Honestly its helped me so much, and I can’t wait to be able to use it more (sorta didn’t get a chance to touch it while i was working!)

🌸I got Copic Markers for my birthday so I had a whole new medium to play with! These mixed with using a brush pen for inking really make my inktobers pop and I’m eager to draw more with them :)

🌸Speaking of Inktober, it was a huge accomplishment for me to put effort into a decent artwork every day this year! Usually theres a few dud ones when I lacked inspiration, but I somehow managed to make it work ;w; So when it came time to printing the books, theres 31 illustrations rather than 25 like the others :) Also the whole rainbow theme idea came from how cool I think it would look flipping through a rainbow book - so I managed to make that happen and couldn’t be happier!

🌸I passed 1000 sales on Etsy!! 😱As well as 1000 followers on instagram! Crazy right??

General 2018 highlights

🌸2018 was the year one of my best friends got married! I made cute little clay wedding cake toppers for her :)

🌸The year Owl City’s 7th album Cinematic came out!! All the tracks are so GOOD and exactly the sound all us hootowls were longing for. Also Be Brave is a tearjerker, in a good way. What an amazing human Abbey is to Adam <3

🌸The year Spyro Reignited Trilogy came out!! It’s absolutely amazing, and I love every second of it. Every time I play it I just can’t help but stand there looking around at every detail because everything is just so gorgeous *_* And the nostalgia is so real.

🌸Not exactly a highlight but the year Tumblr went NSFW free, and lost hundreds of thousands of users 😂I’m still here though. Got a dumb tradition to keep up ya know.

🌸The year my work had a hilarious Christmas party where we had to dress up as a character from Spongo Fuzz and Jalapena. It was the first time I actually put effort into a cosplay by myself 😂(possibly the last) (wont put a photo up for embarrassing reasons)

🌸the year I broke my toe for the first time xD;; definitely not a highlight but a first! I couldn’t walk for weeks! it sucked!!! T__T

🌸The year my friend successfully funded his kickstarter for his own cartoon ‘Nurry Brothers Adventure World’ :D So proud of him. I’m gonna help him animate!

🌸The year Lano and Woodley reunited with their amazing show ‘Fly’!! I loved it so much I saw it twice :D

🌸The year I tried doing Halloween for the first time - I bought a bunch of lollies and chocolates and decorations on my letterbox/door to let people know I was participating. I got 2 different groups of people at the door, 5 people all up 😂More than I expected tbh!

🌸I tried Ruby chocolate for the first time! It was ok .. just kinda tasted like berry yoghurt flavoured white chocolate though ;w;

SO! What’s coming for 2019?

I’m not really sure at the moment, but I have high hopes for Cheeky Little Studios (the animation company I worked for) - so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if any of their next projects get concrete start dates :) I’m not as terrified of the year as I usually am when its just one big question mark. I know I can make decent money through conventions and commissions in the meant time so I’ll just continue doing what I love!

LAST YEAR I SAID:

“I am crossing my fingers for an animation job I applied for a while ago” - I GOT IT! :D

“I plan to do even more conventions. Hopefully I can get into Oz Comic Con!" - didn’t end up applying because I was busy with the job, but keen to try for 2019 :)

"I’m keen to apply for like Animaga in Melbourne, as well as Madman Anime Fest in Brisbane and Melbourne.” - didn’t end up doing so for the same reason above, but that might change this year :)

“I also want to make a lot more non-fandom things for market stalls, as well as a comic and zines!” - I made the comic, as well as 3 inktober zines and a cute ‘if I fits I sits’ cat zine! As well as a bunch of cute original enamel pin ideas and my whole inktober was original art :D

“Hopefully I’ll hit 1k followers on fb/ig? :D that will make me feel important lol” - I hit 1k on instagram!! I felt very important xD

“I’m also hoping to go on a holiday this year." - I didn’t, for job reasons ... buuut I’m booked in for a cruise in Italy / Greece this September that I’m extremely excited for!

“PLEASE BE KIND 2018, I’M BEGGING YOU 😱” - You were very very kind to me, 2018. 2019, please follow suit!

(man this is the 7th year of review I’ve done. Can’t believe I’ve been on tumblr this long 😅)

[2017] [2016] [2015] [2014] [2013] [2012]

#2018 #2018 year review #year review #year in review #personal crap #i honestly dont expect anyone to read these #i just do them for myself lol

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hiispanicatthedisco · 6 years

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Just do all the unusual asks. Dance for our entertainment.

1: Do you ever wish you were someone else? Jeff Goldblum

2: What is your full name? [REDACTED]

3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for? 22 mistaken for 26 (shouts out to my post-depression face disaster)

4: Have you ever dyed your hair? Nope

5: What’s your eye color? Hazel but it looks blue sometimes idk colors are weird man

6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it? bad and like 0% but i’m doing something about it finally

7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings? No sadly but i really want a tattoo

8: What would you say is your best quality? Loyalty, humor, understanding

9: What are you really bad at? patience

10: What talent do you wish you had? like any of them. I’m most jealous of people who can draw and sculpt

11: Are you nice to everyone? only until they give me a reason not to

12: What do you think about the most? mostly embarrassing shit i’ve done or said

13: Things you like/dislike about yourself i think i’m a very hard worker and I always do my best when I can. I dislike that I give that I don’t have enough self care/self love.

14: What is your least favorite word? hipster

15: What is your favorite word? schadenfreude

16: Are you more like your mom or your dad? I only know my dad through how people have described him to me so I can’t give an honest answer for this but from what I’ve heard I’m a lot like him and that actually terrifies me

17: Would you ever smile at a stranger? I’m a barista so yes all day every god damn day

18: A reason you’ve lied to someone to make them feel better about a sad truth

19: Are you lying about anything right now? My eyes are actually brown

20: Have you kissed someone older than you? Technically but never more than a year older

21: Do you believe in love at first sight? I believe love can only exist with an intellectual level to it and theres no way to do it with only sight

22: Do you believe in soulmates? I don’t think I’ll believe it until it happens to me, if it happens to me.

23: Are looks important? No but wanting someone who looks a certain way is also totally valid

24: Opinion on relationship age differences It’s not for me but I don’t want to yuck anyones yums

25: Would you date someone off the Internet? I can think of one internet-started relationship that seems to be doing well so why not

26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl? actually no

27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? yeah but it passed

28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now? Yeah post college life has made me realize not everyone is worth my time after all. It’s both liberating and heartbreaking at the same time.

29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? My first girlfriend. I never defended her enough though because I fell into peer pressure. She was an intense person and got a lot of hate for it but I was always attracted to how genuine she was

30: Have you ever liked your best friend? No

31: How does someone win your heart? It’s not hard.

32: What turns you on? Authenticity. Be who you are.

33: What turns you off? Don’t tell me how I should live my life.

34: Do you get jealous easily? No but I do have an infiriority complex

35: What is your definition of cheating? Time spent with romantic connotations without telling the other person counts for me.

36: Do you forgive betrayal? No.

37: Have you ever been cheated on? Not that I know of lol

38: Have you ever cheated on someone? Nope. That isnt me.

39: How often do you listen to music? At least 6/24 hours of the day

40: First concert you attended Kanye and Rihanna

41: Last movie you watched Zombieland

42: Favorite type of movie I like romances a lot more than I let on

43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? I used to hate talking about my dad. But now I only hate talking about times that remind me of things he would have done or things I;ve done because of how not having a dad has changed me negatively. Once an s/o cooked a meal for me out of the kindness of her heart and I freaked out and didn’t even go or try it cause I have trouble with intimacy

44: Are you good at hiding your feelings? my coworkers call me smiley so I think that speaks for itself

45: Do you fall in love easily? I get infatuated easily

46: Do you think people say I love you too much? I don’t think I’ve ever said it and meant it fully

47: What’s your favorite holiday? Halloween

48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way? only with good reason

49: Where’s the most magical place on earth? Lake Tahoe

50: What’s your “type”? Anyone who isn’t afraid to be who they are

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room-on-broom · 6 years

Text

You know, Worst witch has a really wild timeline. It’s like star wars or something, let me explain?

like for example right now its 3am and I’m copying a pen drive full of 98′s episode for someone in their late teens who vaguely remembers seeing a few on repeat but never like the full thing. but saw it on a 00′s buzzfeed thing rather then doing their uni work and felt nostalgic for a thing that came out and technically finished the year they were born but knew I probably had a youtube link handy. and also awake at 3am lol. A lady in my art group didn’t realise the books were still going till Jill Murphy was in the Saturday magazine a couple of years back. she read them to her kids when they were little and they’ve like what 5 maybe 10 years on me even so thier like 36 max? . She brought a then complete set for her granddaughter that same week and has the upcoming one on preorder after I told her it was coming out because we got chatting about a mildred hubble sketch i’d doodled.

I also have a workmate in her 30′s didn’t know that that the 98s series was a thing. she knew of the 80s film and had seen the NEW worst witch and knew there was a new Cbbc series because her markus love the four oclock club so just assumed they were all like the same universe. like sequels.

I’d read the books i had religiously and I’d seen the shows a kid but only got back around about gcse/6th form into it after an storybook illustration of mildred hubble showed up on deviant art. so then i found the seris and then fanfiction and the work of jill murphy and that then altered my life re those friends the art i did and writing friends which in turn had dirsct impact on recievieng mental health help, and working out what collage then uni i went to as well as realising I were queer/nb? who I wound’t have met if not for a bit of fan art, a fan fiction site which had like less then 200 stories at the time and this werid adaption of kids books?

I know someone who saw weird sister first? before anything else? One of my old tutors mates worked in print distribution or something and remembered seeing either the First or the second book come out. (who also hates the logo the books have now btw)

I’ve had so many time where I've seen “worst witch is like a harry potter” or WW is a rip off of HP. which is werid because theres definate element were the WW advertisng or what ever tried to jump on the HP bandwagon? but at the same time WW its both newer and much older the the HP francise and a clear inspiration for some of HP elements???

You got these classical trained actors, and telly actors who’ve been in everything, and actor who are both. but who will always be __ from worst witch to a bubble of people. you got kids who will now be __ from worst witch. you’ve actors whose first or last jobs were/are on worst witch. you’ve a retired from acting mother of two somewhere who is still ‘Maud’ to many folks, in the same line Felicity Jones is now on the big screen and bella the newest Mildred is in GOT?

Ebay adverts keep popping up with VHS’s with Tim Curry’s face on because I once tried hunting don the series. In fact every Halloween on tumblr if you go on the worst witch tag its full of Timmy currys face and folks asking about tamborines. and another much smaller bunch yelling in caps its punky-night.

and like last fortnight I leant my spare copies of a bad spell and all at sea to a kid in my brownies/rainbows units. she loves reading, saw “based on the book” in the cbbc opening credits and couldn’t find half of them in library at school, but has to wait till her birthday to get the whole collection for herself. I asked if she was okay with missing a few or spoiling the ending of episodes potentially. but nah she just wanted more mildred hubble stories but she like how Mildred ‘is only a bit older then me rather then a nearly adult older’ because she’s going to big school soon or something.

and then she laughed cos bad spell has the reading level printed on the back because that was a thing? that copy of bad spell was printed (not released) from same year as the movie release. and All at sea is battered as hell and has a “now TV seris” cover so its Georgina Sherrington on the back and frount. And I’ve had that copy of lost at sea from when I was her age. and now I’m copying the old seris and chatting about the movie and the spin offs and she’s reading them because she saw the new show. and i woulnt be in this deep except someone else liked it enough to draw fan art too like a decade or so ago. and there a new book possibly the very last one coming this year as season two wraps up.

Its werid. worst witch time line is werid some come and speak to me about this because its 3am and I just broke my brain.

#Worst witch #long post #Help #the worst witch #there must be a german word for it

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danatole-headcanons · 7 years

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Ace, Andy, Kena, and Vic’s Danatole Kid Hcs

@melchirits

* THE KIDS * * helo naught xhildern, it’s danatole child time * THE KIDS: Fyodor(Theo) and Lucette (Lucy) Dolokhov-Kuragin * Dickle * every close friend/relative gets One Name to suggest * all of them are really good and considerate…………..until they go to balaga, a family friend * they tell balaga that he has One Chance……. And the name he choses is dickle * “ok balaga you have one shot at this, don’t fuck it up” * “ok ok hear me out. dickle.” * anatole is dying * dolokhov is having a heart attack in the background, im fucking wheeding * “ok but give me at least three chances” * “hear me out: succulent butterfly or FUCKING NUTMOBILE” “why’d you scream the second one?” “Because it should be in all caps” “get the fuck out” * “you had one chance, WE’RE NOT NAMING OUR GOTDAM SON DICKLE” * “but can the middle names spell dickle, what about troika” * “balaga please get out of our house it’s midnight” * “how about pikachu. Or ash ketchum.” * fedya, screaming from the background, heart attack paused: “YES” “i think i thought of the perfect name” balaga literally gets to anatole’s height by climbing him and whispers, “the loud THX noise from that one movie.”[a] * “name the child the THX noise” “balaga,,,,its been four days please leave” * he Won’t give up * Other balaga recommendations: * FUCKING NUTMOBILE * lucas steele, and variants * paul pinto * razor boy * succulent * marvin * paul pinto in khakis * lucifer * succulent butterfly * lampost * trash can * naruto * pikachu * ash ketchum * kukas steeke * THX noise * fursuit * (anatole kicks him out after that one) * ALSO * “fedya you are the father” * “so are you” * “oh shit true” * the first child (theo) grows up and learns that they were literally almost named fucking nutmobile and is ready to deck both balaga and their dads * balaga is like “im gonna teach your kid how to drive” * anatole astral projects while Everyone it holding fedya back from destroying balaga * balaga teaches the kid how to drive anyway bc fedya and anatole can’t stop him * so the kid gets pulled over by a cop the first time they drive (w/balaga) bc of course * the police person is just like “I KNOW YOU” and balaga screams “FLOOR IT” * “green means go, red also means go probably, yellow means speed up” * “balaga why is my kid crying” “,,,,,,,,,,reasons” * balaga calls theo dickle forever bc he can * Lucy has Fedya’s Determination and she does everything balaga does better * balaga cries into a wine bottle on the pavement * “balaga eating saltines and chugging wine on the sidewalk”~Quote from Ace * one time balaga takes lucy out for night lessons * fedya wakes up as this is happening and has a panic attack because “where is our kid oh dear god” * he literally sprints out into the driveway and balaga screams “FUCKING FLOOR IT” and lucy’s doing all sorts of pro maneuvers * while balaga ends up hanging on for dear life because “oh so this is what it’s like to be my passenger” * “lucy lucifer” * balaga has a corkboard full of parking tickets he never paid, he hoards them like trophies * (balaga voice) speed limit 420 haha nice

* “Balaga that says 42,,,” * “if i put four engines in my car,,,” * balaga owns a school bus that’s decked out like a monster truck * balaga works for uber AND lyft, like a double agent * one time he gets an uber and lyft at the same time so hes like fuck it and gets them both * fuzzy dice on rearview mirror * balaga’s car is named nutmobile & it has a nut sticker * balaga sleeps in his car in a walmart parking lot at night?? * on lucy’s first birthday balaga teaches lucy how to say fuck and fedya decks him in the street * balaga picks lucy up from school or something one day and he saw her and just yelled “HEY LUCIFER” * lucy whips around like YEAH FUCKASS WHAT DO YOU WANT, she was like 14 * BALAGA IS LITERALLY AT ANATOLE AND FEDYAS HOUSE ALK THE TINE AND HE IS JUST YELLING LUCIFER ALL GHE TIME AND FEDYA ID LIKE SHUT THE FUCK UP BALAGA * balaga runs like naruto * balaga was the babysitter literally all the time * balaga worked as a gym teacher for a month before getting fired * (“what’d he get fired for?” “nothing you can prove”) ~Andy and Ace * someone else parks in his parking spot and he just keys the car * balaga worked as a librarian for two hours before being fired for telling the kids to shut the fuck up * balaga never gets fired from uber no matter what * Review: 5/5. Almost died but i got to my destination, 30 minutes away, in 2 minutes. * “LUCY, HYPERDRIVE” * balaga has completely taken over anatole & fedya’s garage * they try to walk in one time like “is this is fucking dead rat” and he shoots them with a paintball gun and says “no this is covfefe” * Balaga goes as a gc egg shaker for halloween w the kids * “No you just hear the beads and then theres tiny egg man” ~Kalvin * “yeah the guy who lives in our garage uhhhh tiny egg man” ~Theo * lucy draws balaga and he says “hell yeah fanart,” hangs it up on like the ceiling of his car * when lucy and theo play mario kart she always chooses rainbow road * chooses monopoly for Family Game Night * “lucy please we’ve been playing for three days” “no it’s blond dad’s turn” * anatole’s dying on the floor, fedya’s crying, theo’s dissociating * theo’s a hide and seek master

*They watch Buzzfeed Unsolved * lucy & theo go ghost hunting, lucy’s humming the ghostbusters theme and theo’s shaking like a leaf in the corner with ten vials of holy water on him * “hey demons it’s me, ya boi” “LUCY NO” * “COME AT ME DEMONS!” “L U C Y P L E A S E” * Theo is Dipper Pines * lucy is always ready to Deck People (kalvin style) * lucy has a pokeball in her backpack to throw at people she doesnt like * the guys at school call her “hellraiser” and the girls call her “lucifer” * theo and lucy are Not Straight in the slightest * lucy is pan, theo is gay & ace, & also trans * lucy makes so many innuendos she got detention multiple times because of it * theo can play literally any instrument and spent his money on bookfairs in elementary school * Theo knows that anybody who plays violin is a basic bitch so he plays viola instead * “Fyodor jr.!” “Sorry dad, you’re basic.” ~Convo with Anatole * theo quickly become better at gambling than fedya, it switches from fedya letting him win to him actually getting demolished, fedya cries * lucy does the thing where it looks like you’re doing ballet but then you go over to someone and kick them in the face * lucy literally carries around a bag of glitter to throw on people when they say/do something stupid * lucy’s ringtone is the THX noise and it’s always so fucking loud * ippolit kuragin is the cool uncle but also cryptid * is a fashion designer in NY apparently * unrelated: (dolokhov voice) me me big anxiety * theo stans all the murder musicals * also is totally straight for phillipa soo * also stans all things LMM * lucy’s contact pick for Blond Dad is That anatole pic * lucy is team valor and theo is team instinct * fedya’s valor, anatole’s mystic (prettiest logo???), balaga’s instinct * everyone outs poor anatole for being on team mystic * “so uh anatole what team did you pick?” “mystic” “oh because they’re smart and stuff–” “no, they’re the most aesthetic * the kids are highkey competitive about pokemon * anatole does that thing where he does 600000 soft restarts to get a shiny starter * he REALLY LOVES alolan vulpix!! * lucy has an embarrassing collection of photos of anatole * Balaga insists on giving the kids The Talk * theo didn’t talk for a week after but it could have gone much worse * someone: so how’d It Go? * theo, shaking, looking up with the purest fear in his eyes: it could have been worse * balaga teaches theo to curse * also, someone @ theo : “fuck, i mean shoot! im so sorry!!” theo, drinking a glass of vodka: what the fuck you can swear around me i literally fuckimg 21 years old what the shit * theo, quietly: in the heights is better than hamilton * lucy, a floor down: EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME * once lucy asked balaga “hey do you sell drugs” * and balaga was like “no why, do you need them? bc i can get you them” * everyone sees theo as the calm kid, but if you talk shit about his family he Will duel you in a denny’s parking lot @ 3am hamilton style * there’s always the option to go live in the garaga with balaga * Theo’s secret dating the Andreirretasha kid, Nico(lai) * They are the cutest couple™ * Okay some Mama Helene™ bs * Helene was the mom, Fedya was the dad * “Helene and Dolokhov arm-in-arm,” * Lucy looks like a mini Helene, Theo looks like a mini Fedya * The only difference between Helene and Lucy is while Helene has the green-hairpiece-thing, Lucy wears a mauve bow * On Lucy’s fourteenth bday, Helene bent down to eye-level, look soulfully into her eyes, and said this: * “Lucy, as my daughter, i feel as if you should have this..” * It’s a necklace that says “Bitch” * Lucy was 13 when she started her drunk text collection * On Lucy’s 16 bday, helene gave her her most prized possession * “Lucy, I want you to have this, I was going to give it to you later in life, but you’ve come so far already..” * She pulls out a book from her purse, written in fancy calligraphy on it are the words “Burn Book” * “Lucy this is everything that someone i know has done wrong, treat it with care…” * It was one of the only times lucy has ever cried * You bet your ass there’s an entire section dedicated to Anatole * “Anatole, age 1-6, Anatole, Age 7-10, Anatole, Age 11-13, Anatole, Age 14-18, etc” * Theres even some stuff about Cryptid-Uncle-Ippolit * “Hey dad? Remember when you and uncle Pierre tied to guy to a bear for shits and giggles?” * Theo is on the spectrum * Helene got him a fidget cube * He and Lucy do sibling costumes * Theo is a gangly mess of limbs like how does the kid function * Theo was cis-passing when he started dating Nico * When he told him he was trans, Nico just shrugged and kissed him alot * Yeah so I love these kids and might write a fic

#be gondrey chat #nutmobile chat #helene bezukhova #helene kuragina #pierre bezukhov #andreirretasha #natasha rostova #anatole kuragin #fedya dolokhov #fyodor dolokhov #danatole #natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812 #the pride of sacrifice #balaga

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salmonherelikesfishpuns · 7 years

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Talk about your friends? What are they like?

my friends……….. Though leohanan has already described them, lemme give my slice of toast (lemme live with my fake proverbs) on the matter. i will use the same names leohanan mentioned so you know who i am speaking of

There’s SOCCER MOM: I share my morning classes with her this semester, and let me tell you its the best! Her locker is stuffed to the brim so she occasionally uses mine to store things (cuz i store like one (1) thing in there). These things are usually cookies she has made for us friends. THIS ONE TIME SHE WOKE UP AT 5:00 IN THE MORNING TO MAKE PUMPKIN SPICE FILLED PANCAKES AND BOAUGHT SOME AND I HAD THEM IN THE MORNING, IT WAS THE BEST!!! She and the others also decorated my locker on my half birthday! AND SHE GOT ME A FIDGET CUBE! Even though she is barely a day older than I am, she is the ultimate soccer mom. She brings snacks (she brought us cut orange slices once. I ate the most cuz oranges), makes sure we don’t do idiotic things, stares at us with a concerned face when our conversations get weird, and even has good taste in music! She recently put purple dye in her hair, which is hard to notice from the bottom tips because it just makes it darker, but you can notice it from the top. She has cool piercings in her ears, and PLANS TO GET MORE, hopefully. A fan of 5sos to the end. I showed my mom a picture of her in our yearbook and she now has 100% faith in soccer mom’s ability to make sure i don’t do anything stupid.

VODKA AUNT: Lemme tell you about this goddess: her fashion sense is on point, her clothes are always the best, and her makeup is perfect. I know its a saying when someone says the mascara is so sharp it could kill a man, but in this case its true, actually it probably has. She wakes up 4 in the morning my people, FOUR, so she can look this fabulous. She hosted a Oatmeal party at her place when i mentioned i never had any. She has 2 cats, and they THE CUTEST BABIES IN THE WORLD. I am almost sure most of her phone photos are of memes, she LOVES memes, and the good kind too. She shows me new ones all the time and has a couple saved on my computer too. She is also a hardcore 5sos fan, and has a very good taste in music. A fan of hamilton forever, she has all the songs on her phone and can sing EVERY WORD in them. Was disappointed when i did not know who the beatles were, and proceeded to show me their music. I think she was the first to hear of my pink man theory…….HER HAIR I FORGOT TO MENTION HER HAIR …im not good at descriptions but just know it is a majestic masterpiece, also she very huggable

LEOHANAN (real name: Abdurahman, however you spell it): so if anyone wants to blame a person for introducing me to tumblr, blame this being. She kinda short, but you don’t notice it half the time cuz she got a big presence. She refers to other people as edgy but me and coatrack agree that she is the real edge god who bestows edge upon other beings. She currently in the process of getting her shit together, and not procrastinating (sounds fake i know). She an orange belt in like karate. Refers to me as a smol being. Her all might icon is cool though. She boasted this one time about this non-existent ship she had a blog about that would be the first thing that popped when you wrote the name of the ship. She is my main source for explanations of things i do not know the meanings of or do not get on the internet. Sometimes she tells me i’d rather not know something and then i proceed to ask coatrack who says ti very bluntly. She cool though. We tried to make a scale for how gay our group of friends were but couldnt decide whether leohanan or coatrack would be opposite to soccer mom’s straightness in the scale. She is also my designated rant friend, and the one i complain to alot. She likes to think i can make friends with guys, which is very naive cuz no, dont get me started on that one. Ummmm……. I feel like im forgetting something…………ah whatever

COATRACK: ok so when i first got to know coatrack through my other friends, i thought she was a plain piece of bread, with no character whatsoever. Boy was i wrong. She has good taste in webcomics, actually she just got me into another one called Namesake, its good, check it out! The main reason i got to know her better was because she’s in my last two classes of the day. I need someone to share my suffering with in math, and i also talk to her in TOK and EE. extended essay class (ee) is never productive. This one time we ended up searching names for her character who loves plants, and it was the best. I have also discovered coatrack has a good taste in sweaters, today she was wearing this starry night one and it looked so cool. OH I FORGOT…. She cut her hair, it used to be decently long before, and i could make good braids out of it, but now its as short as velma’s from scooby doo! She looks so adorable! Most of the time it is me complaining about something happening in the shows she makes me watch, which sometimes gets leohanan a little salty. She knows the ins and outs of the internets, at least in comparison to my sorry ass. She makes really good characters, like fergus who loves plants and i am sure she will give an unworthy boyfriend to. She a furry, totally a furry, and is kinda weird sometimes, but she generally a good person….. I think.

SUCCESS COUSIN: she gonna hack the mainframe, better watch out. She;s the person who does everything on time and has a goal for success. She also very small, but her personality is very big. This one time (was it halloween?) she came to school in this lady bug cape which was so amazing. She had it since she was little and it used to be like really long, but now it tiny on her. Her, vodka aunt, and me usually spend ITGS class searching up random stuff we were curious about. We were discussing 3D printers this one time and a few days later she brought these fish things he had made to hold her headphones, they were REALLY fun to play with! She will be the one to bust the success nut. She is like CEO style cool, and should totally come to school one day wearing a suit.

MEME QUEEN SUPREME: sooooooo……… i don’t know her too well to be honest, actually i’ve vaguely met her once, at a skating rink. She friends with leohanan and coatrack, and write4laifu. She goes to a different school with write4laifu, but she is in our group chat. I’ve seen some of her computer drawing, and they ARE THE MOST AMAZING THINGS EVER. like they hardocre really good, especialy this one she has of a circle with like some cool shit going on in the middle, its one of her profile pics for something i think. Also she seems really funny, and her appreciation for memes is very respectable. I would complain to her and coatrack about sherlock, and if she can stand that, she must be a patient person.

WRITE4LAIFU: i dont know her that well either, but her love for voltron is enough to be evidence of her respectableness. She also has cats, which itself elevates her to goddess level. She sends me picture of her cats, and they CUTE, like pinch your cheeks and scratch your belly cute. Her tumblr consists mostly of voltron and b99 posts. I am currently watching voltron, and her love for klance is so cute. Also she’s read the percy jackson series and heroes of olympus too and noticed when i made a jason reference so excuse me but i think that is the BEST.

THERES A LOT I FORGOT TO MENTION BUT YOU GET THE IDEA

#thesalmonhasspoken

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blookmallow · 7 years

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some observations about suspiria mostly about set design/symbolism. lots of me rambling about colors

im probably looking too far into things w/ a lot of this i just like speculating. this ended up being like an entire fuckign essay i am sorry this is so much :’ )

- WATER KEEPS SHOWING UP as i mentioned before and i am nOT sure why,

the film begins and ends with massive amounts of rain

madam markos supposedly died in a fire, fire is the opposite of water

we also see this shot at the end where suzy escapes into the rain while the witches are being burnt up inside

my guess is just. the usage of water/fire bc water is a cold, purifying substance; water cleanses, washes away, puts out flame, while fire is destructive, produces smoke, kills

but then we also have these little demon things spitting out water and the building itself soaked in water too

so i think theres a lil bit of water as distortion/blurred senses/confused perception / water as mystical as well as water as purifying/cleansing

- blood. horror films do tons of things with blood but whenever blood shows up in suspiria it tends to be like.... very, very bright, which draws your attention strongly to it and gives it a kind of otherworldly sense - might just be an aesthetic thing, or like. how people say witnessing horrific violence in real life feels surreal and impossible so they’ve accentuated it here to heighten that feeling

the distortion of visuals/sound/etc tends to get the most intense/the highest level of surreal dreamstate feeling when something mysterious/something violent/something otherworldly is happening so that might be related

- shifting perspectives- a lot of the time when someone was afraid or the music was doing the Danger thing the camera angle would suddenly move and swoop around like a ghost which. again i dont know if that Means Something or is just an aesthetic thing but for me it gave the impression that something was watching them/something unseen was present in the space and it was a rly neat thing

- sound becomes Very Loud and chaotic and overwhelming when characters are scared; really good use of sound to create anxiety, i also could never quite tell whether the characters could hear the sounds or not (there was one instance where sara heard something and was looking around fearfully, i heard the raspy singing/loud theme music thing going on but then she reveals she heard snoring which was lost under the soundtrack so i didnt hear that. so its sort of implying when that sound happens she’s hearing something but not the same thing im hearing)

the main theme plays over and over and over so it gets stuck in your head, im guessing maybe that theme is supposed to signify magic/the witches/Weird Shit is Happening/Someone’s Gonna Die like. the jaws theme/the halloween theme/etc but this one seemed particularly. persistent to the point that its kinda making my head spin at this point

though repetitive sound/melodies also heightens anxiety and the whole fever dream aesthetic too

- pink, red, blue, and white. color is huge in this film but i cant tell if any particular color is supposed to have any particular significance (theres also a lot of green and yellow but i didnt notice anything significant enough to connect those to)

the outside of the building itself is red (except in one shot it looked suddenly really pink, i think that was right before the dog attack??) red usually symbolizes blood, violence, rage, sometimes passion, etc

i ended up with a ton of shots of this hallway just bc its.....so good,

the “red room” was where suzy was told to go practice (i dont remember it actually ever being shown though? unless i just forgot or it wasnt actually colored red), the stern teacher lady was shown in a mirror with a red wall behind her and like. red showing up behind her happened a lot (they all turn out to be witches so im not sure why it was specifically her) (coulda been to make the audience suspect her In Particular when in reality its all of them)

the girls are all dressed in white, which usually symbolizes innocence and/or purity- they become drenched in red/pink when they die (suzy also threw a blanket over the bat before she killed it, im not sure if the blanket was white or pink bc of lighting but red seeped through it from the dead bat)

there’s also the white sheets in the temporary dorm hall that suddenly turn red when the lights go out

white seems to be a kind of canvas for other colors to be shown against

pink shows up a lot but i couldnt quite figure that one out, mostly red/blue seemed to be the main colors playing against the white

im not sure what building this was but this was where i noticed Pink kept happening

water washing away red

im not sure what this was?? because i thought it was wine but. the color and consistency was super weird when she poured it out

n then sara goes out into the hallway, which is flooded with red light that seems to follow her as she leaves

she becomes practically drowned in red just before her death

then we have this neat shot where she moves from the red hallway to the blue room and the shift in colors is projected onto her body because of the white dress

into complete blue light

the sound is also LOUD and frantic when she’s in red light, and the sudden cut to blue here also completely cuts the sound to total silence; i noticed red/LOUD, blue/silence happened several times after that (maybe it also was before, i didnt notice)

every time she smashes a window there’s a sudden violent flash of red light that illuminates her (red could also = pain and mental distress)

im not sure what blue signifies though, blue in contrast to red is cool and pleasing, comforting, calm, but this place isn’t safe or comforting nor does she feel calm or safe in this moment so i have. no idea

the window above her appears pink or maybe light purple, it looks like a way out but ends up being the window to her death so maybe the mixture of red/blue danger/safety could be there but. again i dont think blue = safe either

i noticed death-via-window happening a lot too

but like. this side is also blue. so. i have No Idea

blue and red blending together over white after the bat scene

leaving a still/quiet/blue room to go into the red/chaotic noise (i think the sound started at the exact same moment the light became visible too)

red and blue seem to be at war with each other over the set after this point

red hallway with blue stained glass panes (and there was a lightning flash here too that flooded the room with blue light for a second)

this time the still/quiet room has red glow in it, the first color we see in the mystery door into the witches’ chamber is blue (and it was the blue iris that opened it)

flashing red and blue on the witches themselves, i took screenshots so id remember what i was gonna say but now i forget if it was rapidly flashing between colors or if there was specifically a blue flash when she drank from the cup

escaping into rain but surrounded in red

i dunno. im not a film major im just a person who likes movies and colors :’) i could be totally off on all of this, maybe none of it means anything and its all just aesthetics, maybe it does mean something and i missed it entirely, i hav no idea but. anyway. there’s my accidental 15 page essay on suspiria and colors thank u goodnight

#lucy watches suspiria #media analysis #im retagging stuff and i dont really know what i was trying to say with this anymore but i guess ill put it here

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sparkly-cassy · 7 years

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This Or That

tagged by @elalavella

1. Coke or Pepsi: To be honest I don’t often drink sodas but I would say pepsi

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Dreamworks? I dont know, I like both and I grew up with Disney but there’s just something extra with dreamworks

3. Coffee or tea: Tea, tea and tea. Just ask my friends at school they’re just like “of course it’s tea” and then keep calling me a hipster which I can no longer deny but come on do you have to rub it in? x)

4. Books or movies: BOOKS! I absolutely loVE books, I started reading Donald duck series when I first learned to read and then in 3rd grade i upgraded to teen books and in 6th grade I started reading grown up books, but after 7th grade i stop reading every night but now I’ve found a bunch of books I wanna read so gotta start that up bc reading is the absolut best thing in the world, if I find a book I like I will sit the whole day reading it and usually be done with it either the same day or the next.

5. Windows or Mac: I prefer windows, but thats windows 7 bc I’ve never had windows 8 or 10. I do have a Mac book air that I got from school but I think i would prefer a mix of the two.

6. DC or Marvel: I honestly don’t know, I watch the movies from Marvel but don’t remember any DC movies. I’m not very big on movies or series so more often than not I get judged bc I haven’t seen a movie or bc I’ve seen it but don’t remember a thing from it so I guess Marvel bc Benedict Cumberbatch played Dr. Strange.

7. Xbox or PlayStation: I’ve never owned either one and bearly played either so PlayStation bc of all the new cool games that has come out for it?

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: I’ve never played either and I have no idea what Mass Effect is about and I’ve only heard my friend talk about Dragon Age and I often fangirl with her about DA so I guess DA?

9. Night owl or early riser: Night owl, I can’t wake up in the morning whatsoever, I need more than 20 alarms per morning and I can sTILL wake up late and miss my bus. It doesn’t matter when I got to bed or how many hours I slept.

10. Cards or chess: I’ve never played chess in my life and I’ve never had the chance to, which has led to my friend being all like “HOW COULD YOU’VE NEVER PLAYED CHESS, NOT EVEN ONCE?!?” So yea..... Cards?

11. Chocolate or vanilla: I love Chocolate so much but like Vanilla ice-cream tho? The best. But still chocolate wins, but if it was chocolate or any ice-cream? Ice-cream would win.

12. Vans or Converse: Conevers.

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: I have NO idea who any of these ppl or non ppl are but Imma say Lavella bc my friend talks a lot about them so yeah.

14. Fluff or angst: FLUFF

15. Beach or forest: Dude! FOREST! I fricking love nature SO MUCH it’s insane I don’t care for the beach at all, the beach can go fuck itself it has nothing on the forest. Leave me with my camera in a forest and I will be entertained for a WHOLE day.

16. Dogs or Cats: CATS! HAVE you seen THEM?! I fucking LOVE cats sO MUCH oh my GOD THEY’RE the absolut bEST

17. Clear Skies or Rain: I like the clear sky and warm weather bc that means i can wear more of my clothes (it’s really cold here) but I love the rain and thinks its super cosy.

18. Cooking or eating out: Eating out. I think it’s cosy and I’m all about the cosyness even tho it ain’t cheap....

19. Spicy food or mild food: Mild

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Christmas? I like autumn more but I don’t like al the stuff that happens around halloween aka all the spooks and decorations.

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot (and no the winter coats and ACs are not an option): I’m most of the times a bit cold so I guess that... I can’t really stand being too hot so yeah.

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: There’s three powers I would like. 1. pause time (or being able to reverse it a tiny bit) 2. be invisible or 3. teleport.

23. Animation or Live action: Animation.

24. Paragon or renegade: I don’t know what this means so neither?

25. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go: Somewhere where its hot but not to hot and a lot of trees, I don’t know, there’s not a place I wanna visit so yeah.

26. Which Mass Effect class do you play as: I’ve never played it... 27. Roses or lilies: Lilies are kinda nice but roses bc theres so many different ones, like big and small, a lot of layers or a little, and all the colours.

28. Cold dessert or hot dessert: Cold, bc cheese cake, and ice-cream. But hot desserts like cookies are nice.

29. Shower or Bath: Baths are really nice but only if you can walk around a bit so showers.

30. Okay, my question: Writing or drawing: I can’t draw for shit so writing.

I tag anyone who wanna do this, I mean i only have one friend on here and they are the ones who taged me so yeah

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saints-row-2 · 6 years

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film watch day 19: Halloween (2018)

ill keep this as spoiler-free as possible since the film just came out like eight seconds ago

Halloween follows on directly from Halloween, ignoring all the other movies also called Halloween that had the decency to differentiate themselves slightly. forty years after Michael Myers tried to kill Laurie Strode he returns to Haddonfield to wreak havoc again.

Halloween is a Halloween movie. it does what a Halloween movie should do. its the purest one of the sequels; theres no attempt to reinvent the concept. this isnt Michael but in a hospital or Michael but in a school or Michael but on a reality tv show. this is Michael Myers, in Haddonfield, trying to kill Laurie Strode.

the film isnt a perfect movie or a perfect Halloween movie -- only the original is -- this one meanders with a few sideplots that i felt had more potential but in truth i appreciate that instead of trying to reinvent the concept of Halloween it just took the core concept and expanded on it. it embedded the lore and feeling of the original in this new movie and grew out from that, pursuing questions that the original raised.

Halloween is largely about two things: it is about how people see Michael Myers, and it is about trauma.

i would have to view the movie a dozen more times before i feel comfortable really talking about how effective either of these themes are explored, but my gut reaction is that i like what there is, and i want more of it.

theres a layer of metatextual understanding in this movie that it is part of a huge legacy, that people dont just have opinions on it, it means something to people. they care about how this story is told. it understands what people expect. and unlike a million other Scream knock-offs that have the characters just mocking the stale tropes while repeating them exactly, it just plays with our expectations in meaningful ways. this isnt a film that just read the tv tropes page for Halloween, it actually understands Halloween.

the callbacks to the originals are also subtle and varied in a way thats interesting to watch, or adds some kind of intertextual meaning, rather than just being a parade of “i got that reference”.

the themes of trauma, especially inherited trauma, are what this movie is built on. Jamie Lee Curtis carries this fucking movie. dont get me wrong, Andi Matichak who plays Laurie’s granddaughter Alison is extremely good also, and all the actors and characters are compelling (even a few very minor ones), but Jamie Lee Curtis is fucking transcendent in this movie. maybe im “biased” because i was prepared to die on the cross for Laurie Strode long before this movie came out, but shes amazing. having heard her talk about Laurie and what this movie meant to her, to play a woman who confronts the man who traumatised her, was something that hung heavy in my mind watching this film and it really made all of it so much more fucking beautiful to see.

i dont know if this counts as spoilers when its something i made up but one of my greatest fears about this film was that in some twist, Laurie would become the next monster, that her trauma would make her “evil” and have her become a killer too. but theres not even a fucking hint of that, and im glad, because it allows the film to be a genuinely powerful movie in some ways. maybe it wont feel that way for you, but it did for me.

and also, yeah. Michael Myers. Michael Myers is right in this film. he is correct. he is intelligent and cold and driven by some nearly otherworldly need to destroy that people try and fail to dissect and understand. he is scary. he is brutal. surprisingly, the film has more scenes than any other in the franchise where Michael is maskless. im absolutely fucking fascinated with the way those scenes are shot and what it says about his character. he feels like a human being in this movie, and thats the highest fucking compliment i can pay a portrayal of Myers.

Laurie and Michael’s relationship is the thing i cared most about and every fucking scene with the two of them is incredible. again, Jamie Lee Curtis is unbelievable in this movie. but Laurie’s relationships with her daughter and granddaughter are huge, incredibly important parts of this film. while Laurie and Alison are more the starts of the film, when Karen (the daughter) has her moments she fucking shines. seeing her deal with the inherited trauma shes left with touches again on that theme and i actually found myself at the end of the film wanting to see a sequel so i can see the story of the Strodes continue. i said a few weeks ago that people watch slasher movies for the villains, but Halloween 2018 is a slasher movie where the final girl is the most powerful force and the biggest draw.

the movie is also beautifully filmed. every fucking shot is so well composed and theres some moments that... i wanted to print a screenshot and wallpaper my room with them. i dont know how else to express my love. the film has moments that rival the iconic background scares that Carpenter made into an art form in the original.

also yeah the film is scary and has some great kills and is surprisingly restrained on the blood and gore? it has its moments and its a lot gorier than the original, but the film utilises the power of the unseen kill really well.

Halloween 2018... Halloween H40... gives me genuine optimism that this series could come back and mean something. i loved this movie. i cant tell you if itll be as effective for people who arent fans of the original, because i obviously fucking cant separate myself out and make myself not someone who the original means a lot to. but as a fan i feel pretty fucking good about this film.

#rantsfilmwatch

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