depp is an abuser and a fucking piece of shit and i hope he fucks off to be never seen or heard again while he gets the help he needs

cw: depp vs heard

also fuck yall with ur “i dont wanna take sides” “i dont wanna involve myself”

the whole internet is involved in the trial. if u share or post anything about this trial you are actually involving yourself

on one hand we have smbdy whos much older, much more powerful, has said he wants to do despicable things to the corpse of the women he went on to marry, whos best friend is an abuser, who has lost in court and can indeed be called a wife beater,

while on the other we have a woman who is 20yrs younger, much less famous, who is bisexual, who divorced him and who counter-sued him when he sued her for defamation for a very short piece in which she talks about getting known for being a victim of domestic abuse and who received death threats in the aftermath of her divorce

there is literally text of depp saying how he wants to give her total global humiliation

and hes achieving it because ppl are fucking memeing her recounting her story of being sexually and physically abused by fucking johnny depp

nobody fact checks anything and everybody seems willing to believe any fucking thing

because ppl are very much willing to hate women and to not believe them

i understand not wanting to engage with this shit, i didnt want so either, but i couldnt stand seeing this misogynistic shit plastered all over the internet.

.

Heheh idk if my request sent 🥺👉👈 possibly a Colby angsty fic where y/n is having a really bad day and comes home to Colby crying and he comforts her? Only if you want tho, ily Bb 🥺❤️

u sent this so long ago but here i am, trying my best to finish ONE THING while i’m working on like FIVE THINGS. anyways i love u 🥺

—

Every hour of the day seemed to weigh heavier on your shoulders by the time you were getting out of work. You’d been late that morning because your alarm clock had somehow managed to get unplugged, resulting in your boss’s impatient voice being the first thing you heard when you woke up. After getting ready in a panic, there was, of course, traffic on the way there, making your anxiety spike while there was nothing you could do about it.

When you’d walked into your job, you had sighed, thinking the worst of the day was over and now all you had to do was get through the day until you could go home. But, no. That’s not how things went.

Your boss chewed your ear off some more about being irresponsible and how there was no excuse for being as late as you were, despite having very valid, though unfortunate, reasons for why you’d been late. There wasn’t anything you could do but take it; as is the way with an abuse of power.

When you finally clocked in to work, you were completely swamped all day. You were grateful when your lunch break rolled around, especially since you hadn’t eaten breakfast that morning, but once again, your boss told you off. He said you didn’t get to have a lunch break that day since you were late, and that the time you’d lost during the morning could be made up during lunch.

You went back to your desk, fuming and extra irritable from being hungry. You typed away angrily, which you regretted as soon as your spacebar suddenly stopped working. Anger quickly bled into another bout of panic as you tried desperately to fix it yourself without having to tell your boss, but why would that have happened?

Facing your boss once again, you were met with more anger and unnecessary insults on your overall work performance. With each word that flew from his mouth, he chipped away at your ability to remain calm and collected, leaving you nearly at your breaking point when he sent you to request a new keyboard. You sent in the request and tried to take care of any tasks that didn’t require a keyboard.

Finally, you made it to the end of your day, feeling like a husk of the human you once were. You texted Colby that you were on your way home and that you’d be there soon. You just wanted to stop somewhere to pick up food and get home so you could just unwind for a bit. As you waited in the drive-thru line, you massaged your temples until you pulled up to the speaker.

You ordered your favorite fast-food treat, only to be told that, unfortunately, they were all out of one of the essential ingredients they needed to make your order. You couldn’t even respond, you felt so defeated. You drove away and tried to fight the heavy, suffocating lump in your throat as you made your way home. You focused completely on not letting your tears spill over; you did not want to cry. Not while you were driving, and honestly, not at all. You just wanted to be able to go home and go directly into your bed, under the covers, and sleep until the next morning.

You parked in your usual spot and kept your breathing steady as you walked through the front door of your home. Breathe in and breathe out, you coached yourself, keeping your face neutral as you removed your flats that had been digging a blister into your heel all day. You slowly made your way towards your bedroom, passing the living room as you did.

From inside, on the couch, came the cheerful greeting of your boyfriend. “Hey, babe,” he called, standing up to meet you in the hall.

You were more focused than ever on not crying. You turned and forced a tiny smile on your face, not wanting to unload all of your burdens onto him. He had such a busy life, and you knew in your heart that he had to deal with a lot more than you did on a day-to-day basis, so you didn’t want to add any more stress to his life than he already had.

Once he reached you, he put his hands on your shoulders and leaned in to give you a quick peck on the cheek. You were holding it together pretty well... until he asked, “How was your day?” with a sincere smile.

You could physically feel the fascade you were hiding behind break. Just as instantaneously as it cracked in half, you went from a tiny smile to hiccuping sobs.

Colby’s face dropped with concern, the suddenness of your tears catching him off guard. He pulled you into his arms with a wide-eyed expression on his face, trying to figure out how he could blink and miss the moments between you being seemingly okay to you being inconsolably upset. After a moment of trying to figure it out, he decided it wasn’t really that important to know—what was important was finding out what had made you upset and what he could do to help.

“Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay,” he murmured, his hand rubbing soothing circles across your back. You buried your face in his chest, not wanting to confront how terrible you were feeling despite being at the mercy of your own emotions—you had no choice but to let it out, even if you wanted to choke it all down.

“Why don’t we go to our room?”

You nodded at Colby’s suggestion, keeping your head down to hide the expression on your face. You held his hand and he let you lead him upstairs to your shared room. Walking in after you, Colby closed and locked the door to make sure you had total privacy. Before he could start to comfort you again, you were moving around the room, taking off your business casual clothes, all while you tried to explain through angry sobs as coherently as you could why you were so upset.

You furiously scrubbed the makeup off your face while you detailed the way your boss seemed to have it on his agenda to ruin your life today. You clumsily stepped into your fuzziest pair of pajama pants while you exasperatedly explained how hungry you were and how many times the day kept you from sitting down to eat. You unclipped your bra from under your shirt and threw it haphazardly across the room, landing somewhere near your laundry basket, before launching into an account of how you managed to break your keyboard and how your boss berated you for it. By the time you had finished ridding yourself of evidence that the day had even happened, you had gone through the events of your whole day, all while speaking (and often screaming) through sobs that had been contained for far too long.

Colby sat on his side of the bed, listening patiently as you got ready to relax, his expression a mix of concern and sympathy. Under the surface, he was fuming about how poorly your boss had treated you today—he wasn’t necessarily a great boss to begin with, but he really took it too far this time. However, he would save that anger for another time; you were the one who needed to let off some steam at the moment.

When you had finished recounting your day, you took a deep breath, your breathing coming out unevenly as you got out all of your anger and were left with feelings of sadness and frustration.

“Come here,” he said softly, opening his arms wide and sitting back against the pillows to allow you to cuddle into him comfortably. At his simple command, you hurried over and climbed into the bed next to him, grateful for the haven his embrace provided you.

It was hard to believe a little while ago you thought you’d be able to keep all of your emotions bottled up inside you. You continued to let everything out, not holding back on any sobs or sniffles. Colby, supportive as ever, encouraged you to stay cuddled up to him for as long as you needed. One of his arms hugged you tight against him while the other continued to caress you in a calming manner.

“I know today was really shitty and getting through it was really hard, and I’m really sorry you had to go through all that,” he began, his voice gentle and low. “But I want to remind you that you did get through it—all of it, even things that you had every right to give up on. I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out that you decided to quit on the spot as soon as your jackass of a boss even breathed near you.” He earned a tiny chuckle from you as you started to calm down. “Seriously, though, you pushed through a lot today. It would’ve been completely reasonable for you to not go into work after waking up that late, but you pushed through. I could totally understand if you told me you snapped at your boss after he chewed you out, but you pushed through. You could’ve done a lot worse than break your spacebar, and if I were in your position, I probably would’ve—but you pushed through that, too. You even kept pushing after you broke it and couldn’t get any more work done at your computer. And the fact that you didn’t set fire to that fast-food place after they couldn’t make you the only thing you wanted? Your self-control is truly admirable!”

You were giggling softly as Colby continued to compliment you on how you managed to make it through everything you had, looking up at him from where your head was laid on his chest. You could see his smile get bigger with every tiny laugh he coaxed out of you, and watching him get happier as you got happier truly made you feel a million times better. And you had to admit, he was definitely right—you had persisted through a lot that day, maybe even more than you should have.

“I’m proud of you. You’re such a strong person, and I love that about you,” he said, his voice a lot softer now. “You make me want to be strong, too.”

Your eyes were welling up again, but not from negative emotions. Instead, you were overwhelmed with gratitude and love for the man next to you. At a loss for words, you simply reached up and pressed your lips against his, letting your lips do the talking for you.

When you pulled away, you whispered, “Thank you.”

“Of course, baby. I’m glad I could help,” he smiled, pressing another kiss to your forehead.

As if your stomach could sense you were done letting out your emotions, it growled loudly, making both of you laugh. “I’ll order some food now, okay? We can stay in and watch a movie or something. Whatever you want,” Colby said, pulling out his phone to start placing an order.

“That sounds perfect,” you said, kissing his cheek before laying your head against his chest again.

It was funny, you realized, how you had imagined that Colby must’ve gone through so much worse in his daily life that you felt you definitely should be able to handle as much as you had and probably more. Yet here he was, admitting that you inspire him to be strong enough to get through his day. You nuzzled in closer, feeling extra grateful and extra humbled as that reality hit you, and you felt warmer knowing you kept each other going.

Idea--Shadowhunter training might not go into sex further than 'have kids' but it's brutal and rigorous. So Alec is used to hiding noises, so much so that he's quiet during sex. Magnus of course, worries. Is he doing something wrong? Why hasn't Alec said anything to him? Is he not attracted to him and just trying to spare his feelings? They do talk about it... eventually. Maybe after a smackeral of angst.

jdjdjdndidndidndi i thought you meant that shadowhunters are specifically trained to hide their sex noises im so fucking stupid dudndidndidnk i swear to god that i can read

but that's.... an interesting idea actually. i tend to think that wasnt really how it went cuz i do get the impression that once Alec decided to have sex he really let it go and got into it, u know, plus i may or may not be a lil attached to my "Alec is great at dirty talk" headcanons lmao. on the other hand.... amgst

also i mean while i do think that once Alec decided to say fuck it he really said fuck it, and that tbh he had been repressing for so long that once he got what he wanted he was all but helpless to stop himself from diving right in, there are things that eventually become second nature. that u never even stop to think about. and that shock you when you realize they can be a different way. so yeah, i could see that too, this kind of "doesnt let go of soldier mode even in a completely different setting" thing. and if i were Magnus id legit cry idndjxmxixmdk like if my partner looked kinda neutral and disinterested?? not to mention noises are some of the best parts. #LetTopsMoan2020

also u can easily throw in that sweet trans magnus angst of course u kno, like "he seemed into it at first but then he saw my body and he just.... wasn't. maybe he's attracted to me because i pass but when he gets to see my full body thats too much for him. it's fine. it's happened before. maybe if i do better he won't mind it too much - it was just the first time, i just need to figure out what he likes" so he goes on this little disguised quest to figure out what turns Alec on, and it just leaves him more confused, because alec jumps on him as soon as he gets the chance but then it's just.... the same. silent, looking more focused than in pleasure, and it just made magnus feel more self conscious of his moans and screams u know. so eventually he starts to not get into it, because it just makes him more insecure anyway, and maybe he should just offer to use a glamor or something, because clearly his body turns Alec off so much nothing he does can help it-

and meanwhile Alec just. adores his body and loves every moment of having sex with him, loves eating him out, loves the way he moans. but also i mean there's the inevitable part where he's not fully letting himself enjoy it, because he's still holding back, still seeing it as some kind of exercise. tbh we all know alec's an overachiever and he's probably so focused on giving Magnus pleasure, on doing well, on performing that he doesn't allow himself to fully get into it. he enjoys it, of course he does, but he doesn't even know that theres so much more to it than the tiny part that he's allowing himself to feel

and the thing is, Magnus knows exactly what that's like, because for the longest time he saw sex as a service he did for others, too. theres obviously the Camille sexual abuse part, the way he felt like pleasuring her was what would earn him love, affection, even respect, make up for his other flaws, for his body. but also there's the post-camille stuff, the way he threw himself into sex as a coping mechanism, to feel more in control of his own body. but he never fully allowed himself to relax and get into it and would rather focus on his partner. because it felt too dangerous to let go. because he had a role to play, and something to prove. and that's exactly what he feels from Alec right now

so they're both a little tense and focusing way too much on the others' pleasure and communicating way too little and it's all pretty ironic, but Magnus doesn't realize that until the talk inevitably happens. and it's heartbreaking, because he eventually approaches Alec to ask him if he wants him to use a glamor, and Alec is all like what are you talking about i told you i love your eyes? and Magnus has to explain and Alec is like *jazz music stops*

because he really never stopped to think about it and he didn't notice and he didnt even know that he was doing it? and it's all kind of heartbreaking because Magnus tells him that he knows what it's like and recounts all of his previous sex problems and Alec is appalled. and Magnus even kind of admits that he had been trying to get Alec to enjoy it for so long and he didn't know what to do anymore- and Alec's like i think we've both been idiots

so they agree to redo it, only taking it slow this time. long sessions of kissing and making out and dry humping and exploring each other and themselves. and you know, Alec is pretty much only confident when it comes to direct, clear verbal communication, so he starts to be all like "love it when you moan like this," "you look so pretty when you spread your legs for me," and Magnus is helplessly turned on by it and it shows and Alec goes "oh, you like it, dont you?" delighted and surprised and that only gets Magnus more hot and thats when they find out that Alec loves to talk during sex, and Magnus loves to hear him :)

and from then on things sail smoothly djdndjxn and its an amazing experience for them both, to learn (and in magnus' case, relearn) to trust each other and their bodies, to enjoy themselves, to let go. it's amazing and they couldn't be happier to do it with each other :)

Longform Audio Creepypasta Recs

hey TMA fandom! as a new TMA listener but looooongtime creepypasta fan, I find it rly cool that ppl who aren’t into horror are getting into TMA! I’m hoping this will help bring fresh blood (hah) to the horror fandom, so if you’ve realized that you rather like audio horror but don’t know what else to look into, I’m here to recommend my favorite longform creepypasta narrations! 

this is far from an exhaustive list of long creepypastas, but I just want to introduce some of the stories I consider to be the best of the genre. and while I’m just reccing longform in this post, there are plenty of short one-shots I could rec if anyone wants to ask me abt a specific theme/Entity or even a specific ep of TMA (there are several MAG eps that brought me straight back to a specific creepypasta or two, lmao)

also, I’ll just be linking to MrCreepyPasta’s narrations b/c I’m heavily biased so I mostly listen to him, but there are plenty of other great narrators out there like CreepsMcPasta, CreepypastaJr, etc. (most of their names are variations on a theme asdfgh). and if u just want the text version of any of these, every video I link has a link in its own description back to the original text posting of the story

THAT outta the way, here are my recs! I’ll try to remember all the trigger warnings I can, but keep in mind I tend to be p hardy to most horror content, so there may be some things that slip past simply b/c they don’t register to me. also it’s been a minute since I’ve listened to some of these, so some have updated or I may have just forgotten some aspects. I’ll also update this if ppl find it useful and I find more good long pastas~

Penpal (2.5 hrs, complete)

op recounts some of their odd experiences as a child, all of which stem from an elementary school project involving a pen pal. as he recalls these experiences, a horrifying picture of his past begins to emerge...

easily my favorite pasta of all time-- and that’s saying something, considering there are some damn good recs here. it’s one of the first I read so long ago, and few have come close to what this one made me feel. op does an incredible job of capturing the nostalgia and childhood wanderlust of youth, and the last few lines of each chunk of the story hit like a goddamned truck-- esp "Friends”, I cry like a baby every time, it just.... hits something tender in me...

TW: stalking of children, subsequent kidnapping and child abuse at the end (and while it’s not necessarily *confirmed*, heavy implications of child sexual abuse, for that last bit). implied cat death. some graphic description of the victim of a hit-and-run

Search and Rescue Woods (~5 hrs, ongoing?)

op recalls several of the strange and disturbing experiences (their own and quoted from coworkers) of working search-and-rescue for an unnamed national forest in the US

y’know that feeling u get when u see photos lawn chairs just sitting at the bottom of the ocean? even if there’s a perfectly good explanation for why they’re there, it’s still haunting b/c it feels wrong to see them there, in that context? that’s basically this entire assortment of stories-- the obvious example being the stairs, of course, but even a lot of the human elements feel so out of place and wrong. if you’re a fan of Spiral-type horror w/ a hard edge of Stranger, this is the story for u

TW: generally clinical but graphic descriptions of mutilated bodies. use of the r-slur against an nd individual (it’s during a story that the main character is quoting from a different one-off character, so it thankfully only happens the one time..). child death, in certain stories. some wild animal death

Borrasca (2.5 hrs, complete)

Sam moves to a small mountain town with his family after his father’s job relocates them. he hears some spooky legends about the town, but doesn’t think much of them... that is, until his sister disappears. as Sam and his friends dig deeper into the town’s history to find any clues to his sister’s disappearance, they begin to realize there’s something deeply deeply wrong with their quaint little home

I’ve always loved horror that’s ‘mundane’ enough to be done by regular humans, but vague enough that it could actually be supernatural, under the right circumstances-- and this is one of those mysteries that keeps u guessing until the VERY end. my mind felt like that Pepe Silvia corkboard meme the first time I listened to this, I was losin’ it. this is also prolly one of my favorite examples of MCP’s talent as a narrator, b/c he adds in his own subtle foreshadowing with his voicework, and it blows my mind every time I listen to it again

also worth mentioning there’s a (3.5 hr) sequel! since the horror/mystery is basically done after the first one, the sequel is mostly suspense/thriller and character closure. if ur just here for the horror/mystery and the gut-punch of that first ending, then the sequel isn’t necessary. but if you want more closure for our dear sweet cast who deserve so much better, then by all means!

TW: the ending involves heavy sexual abuse (involving underage girls, no less), part of which is graphic. like I know I joke abt having to take breaks after reading emotionally exhausting stories, but I genuinely had to take a couple days of recovery after this one-- and that’s from someone who’s p hardy to all kinds of graphic content. do NOT take this warning lightly if this is a sensitive topic for you

Tales From the Gas Station (10 hrs for free, otherwise ongoing)

Jack works at a gas station at the edge of a middle-of-nowhere town. Strange things happen at the gas station-- bipedal deer stopping by for a drink, dark gods leaving vague messages, fingers growing from the ground out back, sudden lawn gnome appearances-- All just a part of the daily grind, right?

so if I wanna be totally fair, this is more a rec for Night Vale fans than anything (tho the TMA/WTNV overlap seems to be p significant). the comedic, nonchalant tone taken towards everything supernatural and horrific is p much 1:1 WTNV. I’ve genuinely cried laughing at some of the fuckshit that happens, esp anything involving Jerry. not to say that GST doesn’t have its heavy-horror moments, but the frequency is more comparable to Night Vale’s approach-- dark comedy definitely takes center stage, here. tho this also varies by the POV-- the “Finding Vanessa” arcs are told from the perspective of a more serious character, so the heavy parts are far more frequent and hit a lot harder

as for the time estimate, here’s where it gets a littleee bit complicated. the first version was put out for free, and read for free by MCP (among a few other narrators). this came out in several different parts, and the one video I linked above has compiled *most* of volume 1, but not the Halloween story, featured here. HOWEVER, the author has taken a second go at v1 and beyond, which is currently ongoing and available to buy as books or audiobooks ALSO narrated by MCP!

as for deciding which version to listen to, I’ll just try to describe the differences here. the first version was written entirely via Jack’s online forum posts, which were subject to more direct reader interaction and Jack’s scatterbrain. thus, the first version leaves a LOT more details up to reader interpretation/theorizing, straight up doesn’t have or explain certain plot arcs yet, and is very disorganized in terms of timeline all due to Jack’s canon memory issues. this all, personally, made it v fun and silly to follow, but I’m aware that’s not for everyone. the second version is written from a more standard first person narrative from Jack’s perspective. while Jack’s memory issues still make him an unreliable narrator (often *upsettingly* so in this version), the actual narrative is far more organized, complete, and easy to follow. the fun thing is that the first version can still be considered canon material to the second version, as Jack references making those very forum posts within the second version narrative. so, personally, I consider the second version to be the core cohesive story, while the first version is supplemental, fun material that provides more context for a few of the strange bits that happen in the story (like Jack’s ‘secret admirer’ makes more sense if u’ve listened to the first version). either way, the second version is the only way the story is going to continue (as far as I’m aware), so if you’re ONLY going to listen to one version of the story, listen to the second version

TW: for the first version, there are some uncomfortable jokes/implications at certain points-- associating villains/assholes with fatness and/or personality disorders is unfortunately a running theme, and a few off-color jokes are made abt some of Jack’s conditions (general mental health and his brief use of crutches). there’s also a point at which it’s implied that a specific one-off arc is a ploy to rape Jack, tho nothing actually comes of it beyond awkward scheming (but just in case, that story is specifically “Death at the Gas Station” at the very end of that long compilation, if u wanna skip it). for the second version, I believe the author was made aware of these issues and either straight-up removed or fixed most of them in some way. there’s just one point where an intentionally-questionable character uses the g*psy slur, and a few points where a regular commenter on Jack’s forum posts has w*ndigo in their username

in terms of gore for either one, uhhh maybe some descriptions of injuries? body horror? this one’s a lot harder to call for me, b/c the comedy softens the blow on a lot of the horror

Accounts From a Lonely Broadcast Station (5 hrs, ongoing)

Evelyn is the new voice of a small mountain town’s local radio station. her job is to take calls, play music (ALWAYS play the music), and broadcast emergency warnings whenever the fog rolls in from the surrounding forest. pretty standard stuff. she tries to make the most of it-- if only that damn crow with human eyes would stop watching her...

this one’s similar to Gas Station Tales with its heavy reliance on dark humor, but it takes itself a bit more seriously, with a more even split b/t genuine horror and comedy. also MCP brings in wonderful extra voice talent w/ this one, I RLY love Evelyn's va ;w;

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation and body horror

My Friend Has Been Living in an Alternate Reality (4 hrs, complete)

op’s eccentric friend, Clint, turns up on op’s doorstep unannounced after several years missing. Clint vanishes again just as abruptly, leaving op with a journal detailing a horrifying, dangerous journey that’s almost too bizarre to believe, yet...

so this one’s more like an action/thriller with horror garnish, tbh-- very exciting and suspenseful! I love the weird, apocalyptic world Clint describes in his journals, and the societies that have cropped up around these hostile circumstances

TW: graphic descriptions of mutilation/injury

My Name is Lily Madwhip (~8 hrs, ongoing)

Lily Madwhip sees things before they happen. they’re usually horrible things like deaths and injuries that she wishes she could prevent but often can’t. at least her best friend-- an angel possessing one of Lily’s dolls-- is around to provide advice

this one’s from the perspective of a little girl, and it leans into dark humor enough to soften at least some of the more traumatic moments. Lily’s young enough that she’s somewhat removed from the full gravity of the deaths around her, but the fact that it’s happening so frequently at all seems to be warping her perspective towards death to be more... casual? is that the right word? it’s just a rly interesting perspective to see for horror. also we’ve got another rly great guest va here for Lily~

TW: brief descriptions of injury, but they’re not graphic. frequent animal death.

The Showers (2.75 hrs, complete)

op recounts a scary story he heard from a teacher back in high school about a vague location and a terrifying encounter. he later ventures to find this location to see the truth for himself, but is it worth it?

this one’s a classic-- I think it was of the first creepypasta I listened to? not this version, but I wouldn’t be able to tell u which narrator it was at the time. I won’t say that this one’s the most unique story out there, but something abt it has always stuck with me?.... idk, I think the premise rly hooks me

TW: oh god it’s been a while, but I don’t remember anything particularly triggering? maybe body horror?

what the fuck is up !! i’m saoirse and i’m coming @ u LIVE with a brand new character that i’m still kinda figuring out so bare w me thru this mess pls n thank u !!

( kathryn newton, cisfemale, she/her ) i just saw SAILOR WILSON walking down the streets of provincetown the other day playing ANGEL OF SMALL DEATH AND THE CODEINE SCENE BY HOZIER out loud. rumor has it that the TWENTY ONE year old is PERSEVERANT, but can also be RETICENT — overall they’re a RESURGENT. they remind me of CURTAINS DOUSED IN KEROSENE WITH A MATCH BURNING DOWN BETWEEN YOUR FINGERS, THE FEELING OF A SUMMER RAIN ON YOUR SKIN, LOOKING FOR ANGELS ON THE HIGHWAY IN THE MORNING & A THOUSAND INCOMPLETE POEMS.

first things first, check out sailor’s pinterest HERE if that’s what ur into !!

okay now THATS out of the way, welcome to the shit show! let’s dive right into this Hot Mess!

sailor elise wilson was born bright and early on the morning of september 6, 1997! she was, my all accounts, unplanned and unexpected. it was never anything her parents would admit aloud — heaven forbid they did something to shatter the image of perfection they clung to — but sailor always knew.

growing up, there was always a voice in the back of sailor’s head that reminded her she didn’t belong. her father owned his own real estate company that dominated the market of provincetown, and really the entirety of cape cod. her mother was the epitome of a perfect trophy wife. her older sister, sawyer, was everything that her parents ever wanted. sailor wasn’t so lucky.

as a young girl, sailor and her sister were like night and day. where sawyer was pretty and polite and perfect, sailor was messy and wild and completely uncontrollable — which her parents absolutely hated. they tried to control her, tried to make her into the daughter that they wanted through debutante gowns and disappointed frowns asking her “why can’t you be more like sawyer?”

it was a lot for sailor to constantly live in the shadow of her sister. it was a view that extended past the eyes of her parents. sailor was brought into the snack pack partially ( read: mostly ) by her sister, and in provincetown it was hard for sailor to stumble upon someone who didn’t see her as “sawyer’s little sister.” not that she could blame them. she thought herself to be a pretty average person all around, not particularly good at anything ( besides, of course, not being good enough ) and she was so accustomed to always being second-best to sawyer that it hardly phased her

when it was finally time for her to head off to college, sailor decided to attend university of massachusetts amherst — two and a half hours away from home, where nobody knew who she was and she could finally have a fresh start as her own person. unfortunately, things didn’t go exactly according to plan.

( tw: abusive relationship )

only a few months into her freshman year, sailor met a boy who would soon become her first serious boyfriend. at first, he embodied everything that she could have ever asked for in a significant other. he was charming, witty, exciting, and so much cooler than she ever had been. however, as their relationship progressed, he quickly became more controlling over her. it began with him wanting to always know where she was going, what she was doing, and who she was with and progressed to the point where there were no boundaries at all. then he began to get angry, at first over little things and then over nothing at all. but he always apologized, always pulled her back in with sweet words and promises that it would never happen again. even after things started to become violent, she found herself being roped back into him and unable to escape.

it took over two years for sailor to finally get out of the relationship, and even though it’s been months since things ended, she still isn’t quite the same. it’s not a story she’s told many people, and not one she enjoys recounting or revisiting, but the change in her is apparent. all the soft edges and gentle nature that sailor had once possessed are gone now, replaced with a girl that’s harder, stronger, more enduring. she’s on track to become a lawyer, putting the life lessons she’s gained to good use. she isn’t the same person who was once content to live in her sister’s shadow and trust whoever came her way, she no longer welcomes people in with open arms, but she’s learned just how cruel the world can be.

wanted connections !!

someone who was also partially responsible for bringing her into the snack pack?? like a person who was her friend before they were sawyer’s and is like… one of the only ppl who sailor rly feels like Doesn’t see her as sawyer’s little sister

PLS gimme some1 that sailor had a fat crush on in hs (maybe they know maybe they dont ???? but they probably did bc babygirl is not subtle) but she never acted on it for some reason or another n u know some drama might go down

also ?? a first love type of plot UGH. so many possibilities don’t even get me STARTED!!!

someone to look out for her pls she needs it homegirl has been THRU IT. she needs someone she can talk to abt like… everything

perhaps someone who is tryin to wear down that lil hardass that shes become??? who’s like i know who u rly are under all that and i’m gonna get it back out of u ????

idk this has become less and less coherent the longer ive been writing it sorry

i also have a wanted connections tag HERE if u wanna look at everything xoxo

if u have made it this far?? thank u ily give this a like n ill b messaging u on discord soon

I Found Another One-

Warnings: Blood, Swearing (I think), Fluff, More bad writing (Sorry again that's my fault)

Word count: 1459

--

The cold air in my small town fills my lungs as I walk across the U shaped street over to Natalia's house. Nat's house is identical to mine, all the houses on the street are. The houses are big and grand, it always surprises me how something so nice and beautiful could be so cold and unfriendly. The tall picket fences separate the side walk from the houses front gardens, which are never as beautiful as they are in the early spring, with daises and petunias. Our front garden is the only different one, with violets lilies, and poppies which my grandmother loves to tend to in the early hours of the morning.

I open the gate of 137 Westend Drive and walk down the stone path, that leads up to the front porch which bends around the right side of the house. Mr. North is siting on the couch swing reading when I wave to him, his face goes white as if he'd seen a ghost.

For a second I forgot about the blood, "My dear, what happened?" He asks setting his book aside and getting up from his seat. "I got into a fight with some kids." Was the first lie that popped into my head. I hate lying to Mr. and Mrs. North, but I can't tell them the truth, I've only told Nat and Rachel about what my mother is actually like.

Mr. North leads me through the front door, living room and into the kitchen. It looks like the same one my grandmother cooks in everyday, but the feel of the room could not be more unfamiliar. The whole house smells of lavender and vanilla, not blood and alcohol.

He sets me down on the kitchen island and rushes to find the first aid-kit.

"Rosabell, Natalia, Nathan help me please!" He yells across the house. He doesn't yell like he's upset or angry, he yells it with a kind voice,

"What is it love?" Asks Mrs. North calmly as she walks into the kitchen,

"Oh my havens!" Mrs. North shrieks' when she finally sees me.

"What is it mum?" Asks Nathan as he and Nat walk into the room.

"Oh my god Patton what happened?" Nat asks with a petrified expression on her face. It's clear she already knows what's happened by the anger that shines through her shock.

"That doesn't matter now," Says Mr. North as he wets a cloth with cool water, and starts to wash the blood of my hands.

"Nathan, grab the first aid-kit from the basement. Mum grab the disinfectant gel from the medicine cabinet in the upstairs bathroom." Orders Natalia, as she helps her father wash the blood off my face with another damp cloth. "Dad can you call Rachels mum and tell her we're going to be a little late." Mr. North nods and places the damp cloth on the counter beside me.

"She did this to you didn't she," Nat says to me in a whisper. I know immediately that she speaks of my mother, for it is not the first time I have shown up on the front porch of the North families home, with blood dripping down my face, nor do I believe it will be the last.

I recount the fight with my mother as fast as I can. "I'm going to kill-"

"Kill who?" Asks Nathan as he rushes in with the first aid-kit. "Look I know about your mum. You can tell me." I stare at the dirty blond boy. How does he know, I ask myself. Did I let it slip somehow? Is he going to tell his parents or go to the police? They'll separate my brothers and sisters from me-

"Relax, Poppie told me. She told me not to tell anyone, you're secrets safe with me." He tells me, a light pick blush is painted on his face when he mentions my little sisters name. He passes his sister a role of bandages,

"Don't put those on yet," Rosabell North tells her children. She rubs some disinfectant gel on the cuts on my hands and washes my face, while Nat and Nathan both wrap each of my palms with bandages.

Mr. North comes back from his call with Rachels mum saying everything fine. Nat puts two little bandages on each of the three cuts on my face forming three X's.

"Come on shorty, I'll let you borrow on of my jumpers, 'cause you got blood on yours." Says Nat after my bloody nose stops bleeding.

"Don't call me that, I'm 5"2, just because you're a giant doesn't mean that I'm short." I say as Nat leads me up to her room. It's the same one as mine but a lot more colourful than my one. "It's a nine inch difference. Nine inches I'm nearly a foot taller than you." Argues my 5"11 friend. she instructs me to take of my hoodie and leave it on her bed, while she finds me one from her closet. She throws me a purple camouflage hoodie and tells me to put it on saying, "I'm sorry it's not as boring as your one, but it'll have to do."

When I finish putting it on, Nat looks at me with a sad expression on her face,

"Pat..."

My heart drops, we both know I don't want to talk about it, that I can't. We are both aware of my anxiety when it comes to talking about the shit that goes on in my head. But the last time I saw my therapist, she told me to push myself out of my convert zoon.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Those seven words make me truly think about what happened with my mother.

Suddenly the warmth that fills me when I'm close to Nat, is replaced with a chill of unpleasant sadness and pity for myself and my siblings.

I walk over to the window above the bed with rainbow checker pattern curtains, I can't help but wonder what would have happened if father had been home. Nothing, nothing would have been different, I tell myself, I look across the street to the place that I must call home. I focus on the pit in my stomach, trying to suppress these terrifying emotions. I know it's wrong but I can figure this shit out tomorrow. I try swallowing down the lump in throat, I blink back the tears that have formed in my eyes. But my attempts to repress the brokenness I feel inside fail, and my hot tears fall.

I turn to face Nat, shacking my head, telling her that no, I don't want to talk about it. In response she holds out her arms instead of pressuring me to talk, without hesitation I jump in them. She was right nine inches in height is a big difference. My hands are hidden by the sleeves of the very over sized hoodie which falls at about my mid thighs.

"Come on, lets go get Rachel and go to the woods," She says, as we break apart from our warm embrace, garbing my hand. "Oh and happy birthday." She says, kissing one of the bandaged cuts on my forehead. I can feel my face begin to redden and my insides begin to turn, well she leads me down the stairs and through the front door.

"All this because you cut your hair." She says finally breaking the silence as we walk down the stone path way and through the gate, our fingers still tightly intertwined. "You could say my mother is a bit over dramatic." I say as I look at my best friend.

We cut our long brown hair on Nat's birthday, January 13th, Her parents were fine with it, my mother didn't notice until today, and my father yelled at me for doing it without telling him.

She has the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen, they're as blue as the bluest ocean in the world. Were as mine are a greenish grey colour, my mothers are grey and my fathers are green, giving me a mixture of the two. She's pale but not as fair as me, her white skin is littered with adorable freckles. Today she wears a red, yellow and white striped shirt with a black leather jacket covered in pins, and a pair of military green cargo pants.

"You could say that, or you could say she's abusive and insane." She says.

I playfully nudge her arm to lighten the mood. We giggle as we walk down the street. I can't help but to think her laugh is just as adorable as her smile, if not cuter.

A transport ban in Uganda means women are trapped at home with their abusers

The night before, the 25-year-old mother-of-five was busy buying medication for her children in Moroto, a town in northeast Uganda. When Veronica (whose surname we’re not using to protect her identity) returned home, her husband picked up a sharp object and stabbed her in the right eye. He then beat her, and when she blacked out, he fled, she said.

Two legal volunteers from the Association of Women Lawyers (FIDA-U), an organization that provides legal aid and access to essential services for women, were already working on the ground in the community. They heard Veronica’s screams and decided to investigate. After finding her lying unconscious on the floor, they called their colleague Jacob Lokuda, a front-line legal clerk who responds rapidly to violent incidents, and who recounted what happened.

The three men carried her to Moroto hospital, roughly four miles away. By car, the journey is a 20-minute drive; by foot, it took over one hour. Veronica drifted in and out of consciousness, mumbling that she thought she was already dead.

On May 4, Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni began to loosen the country’s strict anti-coronavirus restrictions after more than six weeks in lockdown. While businesses including hardware shops and wholesale stores have now reopened, the existing ban on all public and private transport remains intact.

This means, critics say, that many women will continue not only to be trapped at home with a potential perpetrator, but they remain unable to travel to seek medical treatment, refuge or help.

The country currently has 160 confirmed Covid-19 cases and no fatalities, according to Johns Hopkins University.

Many women, like Veronica, have found themselves forced to spend more time with partners who were already abusive. Economic worry is an added tension. More than 80% of Ugandans work in the informal sector and many have lost their jobs due to the Covid-19 restrictions.

“We stopped a lot to catch our breath,” says Lokuda, who had already jogged 40 minutes to Veronica’s village from his own home. “We didn’t have any protective gear, such as gloves, but she needed medical attention,” he adds.

“He had gone beyond reason,” Veronica said over the phone.

In late March, Museveni indicated that domestic violence is not life threatening and should not be considered so during the Covid-19 pandemic.

“We’re just dealing with a few things [that are] life-threatening. Childbirth, snakebite, heart attack — finish. What else is there? We’re not dealing with all problems. Somebody is drunk and has beaten his wife? No, no, no,” he said.

He has since addressed the issue and said he is devising a “comprehensive plan” on how best to handle the situation.

While ambulances have been given travel permits, the number of vehicles is low and many citizens live in villages with a patchy phone signal.

Those working in essential services such as health care are allowed on the roads, yet legal aid providers were not deemed essential until last week. Now, 30 lawyers working for the Uganda Law Society are permitted to provide urgent legal services.

“This is a positive step,” says Irene Ekonga, FIDA-U’s director of programs, “but it’s a drop in the ocean.”

Movement is an issue, agrees Rose Nalubega, acting commissioner for the national police’s Sexual and Children Offences department in Kampala, the bustling Ugandan capital.

“Response is our greatest challenge,” she said in an interview. “We’re operating in the normal way but [Covid-19] has escalated the problem. We were not prepared, but we try.”

Ugandans can apply for a special travel permit from the resident district commissioner, but locals have complained their offices are often empty. For organizations like FIDA-U, time is of the essence — and applying for a permit waiver can take hours.

“In these emergency situations, the first response is what really counts,” says Lokuda. “I put everything down because we have to move fast, but there are lots of delays.”

Those found driving without permission can be arrested or have their vehicle impounded.

Several weeks ago, Lokuda received an 8 a.m. call about an alleged rape. As it was still early, and the young woman’s village was a little further out, he decided to seek permission for transport. After negotiations, he didn’t arrive until 2 p.m.

“It was too late,” he sighs. “The perpetrator had already run away but at least we managed to bring her for a medical examination.”

Police were called and they took her to a station before Lokuda brought her to the hospital in the car he’d been given approval to travel in.

“Violence against women is accepted here”

Josephine Aparo, Senior Coordinator at International Justice Mission

In one month, police noted a surge in gender-based violence cases, with an estimated 3,280 recorded between March 30 and April 28, according to Frank Tumwebaze, the Minister of Gender, Labour and Social Development.

In 2019, an average of 1,137 domestic violence cases were reported monthly.

FIDA-U say they witnessed a 522% increase in the number of cases reported by phone (from nine on average to 56 calls per week) since the lockdown was first introduced, though they believe many more domestic violence cases are going unrecorded.

Violence against children has also soared: the Uganda Child Helpline dealt with 881 cases since the lockdown began in late March (the average is 248).

The surge in domestic abuse is set against a backdrop of already high levels in the country. Forty-six percent of ever-married women say they are afraid of their current or most recent spouse or partner compared to 23% of ever-married men, according to figures published by the Uganda Bureau of Statistics in 2016.

“Violence against women is accepted here,” says Josephine Aparo, Senior Coordinator at International Justice Mission (IJM) Uganda, who work with police and prosecutors to bring perpetrators to court.

After a 14-day period, the President will announce the next phase of reopening on 19 May. Yet experts are concerned the existing problems will continue.

“[Once the transport ban lifts], women in close proximity with abusive partners might be able to report and seek refuge elsewhere,” says Ekonga.

“Issues like economic difficulties are still likely to persist, as well as dependence on male partners for financial support. Cases might drop slightly but by and large, I think they will remain higher than the rates before the lockdown.”

Veronica had been with her husband for 12 years before this assault, which she reported to police in a local station. She had previously reported him some years ago because, she says, he wasn’t taking care of the children properly. He didn’t have a job, and Veronica’s work as a street vendor selling meat dried up due to Covid-19 restrictions. They had little money for food or rent.

While her case is being followed up by the Ugandan police, several rights organizations say the police have been unable to adequately respond to incidents or make arrests.

“The police are usually under-resourced,” explains Tina Musuya, executive director of the Center for Domestic Violence Prevention. “During an emergency like this? Violence against women is a forgotten territory.”

Amid the pandemic, police vehicles were reallocated to the Covid-19 response, which left a shortage elsewhere. Several organizations who supported law enforcement with cars before the transport ban have since been given permission to do so again. IJM, for example, is providing cars to assist police investigations into gender-based violence crimes.

Many women and children flee their abusers with nowhere to go: all domestic violence shelters have closed across the country, bar one, though this may change as the lockdown gradually lifts. The police have recently opened a new temporary shelter in Kampala, and launched a toll-free line in a bid to handle the increasing number of cases.

“It’s astonishing,” says Asia Russell of Health GAP, a HIV advocacy organization with staff in Uganda. “The mode of implementation of the Covid-19 response has killed people,” she adds, referring to vulnerable groups such as women experiencing violence, with chronic illnesses and those who are pregnant.

“Where is the infrastructure for communities who are experiencing increased terror? Don’t they matter?” Russell says.

Weeks after Veronica was released from hospital, her eye is still painful.

She and her husband haven’t spoken since that “fateful night,” she says, before adding firmly: “I’m not going to have contact with him again.”

She still has difficulty sleeping, but she feels safe and, for now, that will do.

Louise Donovan is a Nairobi-based correspondent with The Fuller Project, a journalism nonprofit reporting on global issues impacting women.

Top image: Shutterstock/CNN Photo Illustration by Gabrielle Smith

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Russell Simmons Pens Response To Sexual Assault Allegations — 'I Never Committed Any Acts Of Aggression Or Violence In My Life'

Russell Simmons is standing by his claim that his sexual relationship with Keri Claussen Khalighi back in 1991 was consensual.

In a letter posted on The Hollywood Reporter, the 60-year-old refuted the allegations reiterated today on Megyn Kelly TODAY by the former model.

The music mogul said that although he believes the majority of the women coming forward in the #MeToo movement are "true and dignified," these have been "cast in a light away from the actual facts."

Related: Russell Told Terry Crews To Give The Agent Who Allegedly Groped Him 'A Pass'

He wrote:

"In my case, three witnesses [Anthony McNair and two anonymous witnesses] have signed statements that our experiences that weekend with Keri Claussen Khalighi 26 years ago were consensual. My longtime loathing of any form of violence and abuse has been woven into all of my personal interactions, as most who know me will attest."

The celeb went on to deny that he ever apologized to Keri for assaulting her:

"In our meeting many years later, and subsequent conversations, Keri never accused me of what she has said publicly. She insisted I was not violent. She did tell me her boyfriend and many others found out about our long weekend together and she said she was ashamed by that discovery. I am sorry for the embarrassment she recounted to me."

The producer admitted that his past isn't the cleanest, but he's never been violent:

"I have made choices that have offended some of the women in my life. It's not cool to be a playboy and a new consciousness understands this. Now, as I hear these voices, I do as well. Though never abusive in any way, my remarks were often cavalier and thoughtless, and for this I am humbled. I am a work in progress. I am human. The fact that I come from the world of music or a specific place or generation justifies nothing ... I can sleep at night because I know who I am. And I know who I was. I never committed any acts of aggression or violence in my life. I would never knowingly cause fear or harm to anyone. For any women from my past who I may have offended, I sincerely apologize. I am still evolving."

He concluded:

"As the dialogue progresses, let's not lose sight of what's truly happening, a shift in power and all that entails. I want that shift. It must lead to a space where women and also men can heal, even if it means attacking me. I remain an activist for women's rights and all things unjust. This is my life's work and journey, and God knows my heart. To all the #MeToo campaigns and women around the world, I support your healing and will continue to be an honest and imperfect advocate for the voiceless (including animals) and humanity as a whole."

What do U think of this, Perezcious readers?? SOUND OFF in the comments (below)!

[Image via WENN.]

Russell Simmons Pens Response To Sexual Assault Allegations — 'I Never Committed Any Acts Of Aggression Or Violence In My Life'

I look younger now than when I was in my early 20s

Russell Simmons is standing by his claim that his sexual relationship with Keri Claussen Khalighi back in 1991 was consensual.

In a letter posted on The Hollywood Reporter, the 60-year-old refuted the allegations reiterated today on Megyn Kelly TODAY by the former model.

The music mogul said that although he believes the majority of the women coming forward in the #MeToo movement are "true and dignified," these have been "cast in a light away from the actual facts."

Related: Russell Told Terry Crews To Give The Agent Who Allegedly Groped Him 'A Pass'

He wrote:

"In my case, three witnesses [Anthony McNair and two anonymous witnesses] have signed statements that our experiences that weekend with Keri Claussen Khalighi 26 years ago were consensual. My longtime loathing of any form of violence and abuse has been woven into all of my personal interactions, as most who know me will attest."

The celeb went on to deny that he ever apologized to Keri for assaulting her:

"In our meeting many years later, and subsequent conversations, Keri never accused me of what she has said publicly. She insisted I was not violent. She did tell me her boyfriend and many others found out about our long weekend together and she said she was ashamed by that discovery. I am sorry for the embarrassment she recounted to me."

The producer admitted that his past isn't the cleanest, but he's never been violent:

"I have made choices that have offended some of the women in my life. It's not cool to be a playboy and a new consciousness understands this. Now, as I hear these voices, I do as well. Though never abusive in any way, my remarks were often cavalier and thoughtless, and for this I am humbled. I am a work in progress. I am human. The fact that I come from the world of music or a specific place or generation justifies nothing ... I can sleep at night because I know who I am. And I know who I was. I never committed any acts of aggression or violence in my life. I would never knowingly cause fear or harm to anyone. For any women from my past who I may have offended, I sincerely apologize. I am still evolving."

He concluded:

"As the dialogue progresses, let's not lose sight of what's truly happening, a shift in power and all that entails. I want that shift. It must lead to a space where women and also men can heal, even if it means attacking me. I remain an activist for women's rights and all things unjust. This is my life's work and journey, and God knows my heart. To all the #MeToo campaigns and women around the world, I support your healing and will continue to be an honest and imperfect advocate for the voiceless (including animals) and humanity as a whole."

What do U think of this, Perezcious readers?? SOUND OFF in the comments (below)!

[Image via WENN.]

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Black Rage

Black Rage

“To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious, is to be in a rage almost all the time. So the first part of the problem is how to control the rage so that it won’t destroy you. Part of the rage is this: it isn’t only what is happening to you, but it’s what’s happening around you all of the time, in the face of the most extraordinary and criminal indifference, the indifference and ignorance of most white people in this country.”  -  James Baldwin

Walking down the 14th Street corridor, you’d never think that this area of town was partially destroyed in a riot, you have high-end cycling centers to high-end athletic shops right next door, places like; soulcycle, lululemon, and high-end coffee shops like Wyndown and high rises. This neighbourhood oozes with money, charm, with all the trends of modern luxury. What we know from history was that the riots of 1968 started on April 4th less than two hours after the national news wires reported the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. Author and Professor of Ethics Studies Kwame Holmes states in his report “Beyond the Flames” that it started when an unidentified black youth threw a brick into People’s Drug store which was located on the corner of 14th and U. Men and women, gay and straight, black and white alike all taking part in one of the oldest professions in history, prostitution. With racial disparity running high, police officers inability to clean up the neighbourhood, targeting ethnic minorities, leaning on historical concepts of discrimination. There’s a huge power struggle in this neighbourhood. There’s a rage from injustice. Cops trying to segregate the sex workers and customers. Black heteromasculinity clashes with the underground gay community. Society can never progress without white people acknowledging their unbelievable actions and their dangerous and evil behaviors, that persist even today. Their power reaches places that nowadays are almost impossible to break through, but that was their goal and their focus when a lot of society was trying to move towards love, they're hate could not be apparent, they had to lurk and murder. The history of the U.S. is riddled with such violence and depravity, it comes as no surprise that today police murder on camera and walk away free. It hasn’t even been a century since Billie Holiday sang about “Strange Fruit,” and lynchings carried on for decades after it’s release. In August of this year, an 8 year old biracial child was pushed off of a picnic table after a couple of white teens tied a rope around his neck, after assaulting him with stones and sticks, and talks of “white supremacy.” Fortunately, Quincy survived, even though the Police Chief from Claremont, NH, has stated that the white teens involved in his attempted murder  “need to be protected.” He also stating that: “we don’t want things to follow kids throughout their life,” as the 8 year old child is suffering from night terrors from this trauma. Racism continues because history was not expressed by those who suffered, their true pain and suffering never acknowledged or rectified. The white man took charge of the telling of pain, trauma, and suffering through the rape, murder, enslavement, abduction, and torture of People of Color. For a short time between the 70s-90s, it nearly faded into obscurity only to adapt as an evil lurking in the shadows, and not in plain sight as it once did. Through systematic political, economic, and societal powerhouses, the white people did not change their despicable views.  They merely adapted their control on PoC in ways that were difficult to bring down; laws, education, healthcare, law enforcement, gentrification, society as a whole. During the 60s in the neighborhood of Shaw in DC, “rebellions” were carried out as they attempted to dismantle the cruel and unusual punishment and treatment of black people. The wordings of “riots” brands the people who are rioting as in the wrong, angry, irrational, and acts of “random violence.” Words carry immense weight, and the use of “riot” branded a portion of a population’s attempts to make their voices heard as violent lunatics, angry for nothing. The word “riot” helped enforce a notion that “black people are congenitally unfit for citizenship” (Holmes, 306). “The political and juridical institutions designed to respond to citizen concerns in the United states are incapable of registering, let alone responding to, black people’s pain” (Holmes, 307). The “rebellions” were called “riots” as a successful attempt to discredit and vilify protesters who were angry at the transgenerational racism them and their families have been subjected to their entire lives. People of color were crammed into buildings in their community where the majority of buildings were owned by white people. The white people took away privacy & sanity, by offering inadequate housing, which was continued segregation between “white suburbs and black ghettos.” (Holmes, 311) White people were incentivized to ownership of land and buildings, while black people were forced to live in tight quarters forever paying rent and having no guarantee of safety or laws that protected them (Holmes, 311). A Greek “slumlord” owned 75% of the Shaw neighborhood’s property. He and his associates took advantage of black people and the government’s federal loans designed for the rehabilitation of the inner city. Had the government monitored and cared about these people, they would have quickly seen things were not how they ought to be, but as we know this country does as it pleases, and those loans may have been a smoke screen to countless illegal activities. Gentrification comes to mind when reading about “The Plan” (Holmes, 319). Definitely doesn’t seem unlikely that the district had aimed for a mass exodus of black people by 2000. The small living spaces also made it difficult for families to have peace and privacy, by “warping marital sexual relations … into deviance that reproduces the culture of poverty among black children” (Holmes, 313). “Black entrepreneurs, be they gay or straight, took advantage of general disinterest in the maintenance of black heteronormativity and fulfilled the needs of the sexual marketplace that was allowed to flourish with shaw- even as their establishments contributed to the decline of shaw’s reputation and animated black anger about white exploitations” (Holmes, 318). Police brutality took hold in numerous ways, first the white officers did not feel their job was to protect all life, only that of fellow whites, and second they saw black men as competition, and black and white women as theirs to assault and abuse. The threat from black men over ownership of white women’s bodies was too great, and they resorted to violence to subdue it. Assaults took place primarily because of “competing male heterosexualities” (Holmes, 310) and the conflicting feelings of “policemen’s proprietary relationship to the women on 14th St NW” (Holmes, 309). Women have long since been a bargaining tool, a body meant to be owned and sold, used and abused. The LGBTQ community hasn’t been treated much better, cast aside and painting LGBTQ people as suffering with a “sickness of the mind” (Holmes, 312). Police use excessive force, power, evil to tangle a person so far into the depths of hell, that they cannot escape, that is if they aren’t shot and killed first. The story of Kalief Browder, a 16 year old boy, is gut-wrenching and infuriating. An innocent young black boy who was incarcerated for a 3 year period, much of it spent in solitary confinement on Rikers Island, having never been given a trial or been convicted of a crime, all based on false testimony and allegations. He recounted much of his experiences to Journalist Jennifer Gonnerman. Two years after his release, Kalief hung himself at the age of 22, having learned how to kill himself from his time on Rikers Island. Black rage remains a muted, unresolved reality and a timely analysis of people in crisis. Understanding the origin and continuing reality of Black rage is vital for developing sustainable alternatives to the stubborn second-class status of Black people in this country. Hatred of Blacks has been so deeply bound up with being an American that it has been one of the first things white people learn and one of the last things white people forget. Such feelings have been elevated to a position of national character. This is exactly why “Black Lives Matter” needs to be shouted from the rooftops, black and brown children and people, need to know they matter! For 400+ years the HISTORY of murders, abductions, disappearances, rapes, brutality, injustice across all aspects of their lives points to the exact opposite.

“14th Street Washington, DC, dark, dim underground where the hustlers meet and the whores prey on whitey’s sexual hang-up and walk away with his wallet and on occasion his life.”

    - Isaac Ruffin

Airbnb banned neo-Nazis from booking in Charlottesville — and set a standard for how tech companies can fight hate

Editor's Note: This story was published before the rally in Charlottesville erupted into violence on Saturday, leaving three dead and dozens injured.

This weekend, alt-righters and white supremacists will descend upon Charlottesville, Virginia, as they have throughout 2017. But they may find themselves without a place to party.

That's thanks to Airbnb, which this week removed users who were using the service to book venues as part of their Unite the Right rally, as Gizmodo first reported.

The company learned from some of its users that Unite the Right attendees were organizing logistics on the neo-Nazi website the Daily Storm, which brands itself as "The World's Most Genocidal Republican Website" and has a poster for the event on its front page that urges visitors to join the rally "to end Jewish influence in America." Once Airbnb confirmed that some rally-goers had used the platform to book listings for events associated with the anti-Semitic rally, the home-share site decided to boot those users' accounts.

This wasn't just an easy and correct call for Airbnb. It was also an example of how a platform company can actually make judgments about what is and is not an acceptable behavior, rather than simply waving away controversies by claiming it offers a mere tool for its users. That's something that many deep-pocketed Silicon Valley firms can't seem to figure out—and an area in which, until recently, Airbnb struggled, too.

In this case, the problem that Airbnb had on its hands was clear-cut.

"We've taken over all of the large AirBnbs in a particular area," wrote a user named SCnazi on a Daily Storm message board. "So far, we're close to filling our 7th house. We have 80-90 people, and are a mix of various AltRight groups."

SCnazi continued: "We've set up 'Nazi Uber' and the 'Hate Van' to help in moving our people around as needed, esp. between our off-site locations and Charlottesville."

Airbnb said it booted a number of rally attendees because they "would be pursuing behavior on the platform that would be antithetical" to the community policy," which requires "those who are members of the Airbnb community accept people regardless of their race, religion, national origin, ethnicity, disability, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, or age."

Not all tech companies have been as swift to act in similar circumstances. Like Facebook, which following the June terrorist attack in London allowed a post by Republican Louisiana Rep. Clay Higgins that called for the hunting and murdering of "radicalized" Muslim suspects to remain online.

Yet a status update made in May by DiDi Delgado, a Black Lives Matter activist, that said "all white people" are racist—an extreme argument to some, but not one that called for violence—was removed and her account was suspended for seven days.

And then there's Twitter, where the alt-right has thrived, using the social media site to broadcast outright hate speech and harass people off the platform. Twitter routinely flounders when asked by its users to help protect them. Last year, actress Leslie Jones was driven off the platform after being barraged by racist tweets and inaction from Twitter in stopping it.

Jones' bad experience made headlines because of her celebrity and the involvement of Milo Yiannopoulos. But as almost any Jewish journalist who has ever written critically about Trump or any woman who has ever railed about systemic sexism can attest, harassment on the network is very real—and frequently goes unaddressed by Twitter.

I just don't understand http://pic.twitter.com/N9xWoXPttu

— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) July 18, 2016

Airbnb's decision to not allow its community to be an organizing tool for a white supremacist gathering is an example of a tech company taking its commitment to community safety seriously. It's also an example of a company maturing and learning.

In April, Dyne Suh — a woman who booked a cabin in California on Airbnb — was alerted only minutes before arriving that her reservation was canceled after the host sent a text message that read: "I wouldn't rent to u if you were the last person on earth. One word says it all. Asian."

Last year the hashtag #AirBnbWhileBlack proliferated on Twitter as a place for black users to recount their experiences being denied places to stay even when the listings were marked as open. Quirtina Crittenden, who started the hashtag after being routinely rejected by users with open listings, said that when she changed her photo to a generic city skyline and her name to Tina, she had no problem booking a place to stay.

While these incidents reflect racism on the part of Airbnb hosts and not values the company embraces, Airbnb decided that it had a serious role to play in making sure its service wasn't a place that fostered discrimination. In April, the company entered into an agreement with the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing that would allow the regulatory agency to perform racial discrimination audits for hosts who have three or more listings on the site, which the state has long conducted of landlords to ensure that fair-housing laws are upheld.

Because of that agreement, the woman who rejected Suh because of her race is now required by the state to pay $5,000 and take a college-level Asian American studies course, as well as agree to comply with the state's fair-housing laws. Airbnb's latest move demonstrates the company is willing to act proactively—as opposed to, say, waiting for one of the partygoers to hang an anti-Semitic banner on the front of the house they booked.

More frequently, platforms only respond to such incidents when someone gets hurt or a news outlet embarrasses the company after a major misstep. Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg initially refused to acknowledge that Facebook had a fake-news problem that was causing misinformation to circulate and potentially even influence voters, calling it "a pretty crazy idea" in November after Trump won.

Now his company has "disputed" tags and has teamed up with fact-checking organizations to help combat the spread of misinformation. (Its latest effort, "Related Articles," may end up being the most successful yet at tackling falsified articles on the network.)

Of course, social media websites designed for free-flowing communication are much harder to moderate than a website with a focus as narrow as home-stays. But those sites can still follow Airbnb's lead: When people in your community complain, you need to investigate and take action. That means not being afraid of pissing off thousands of people who use their platforms to share hate speech—which, yes, sometimes bleed into broader accusations of partisan bias, which social media sites are particularly loathe to incur. In an industry where losing users means losing money, booting anyone is a big deal, but it can also send a big message.

Zuckerberg said in May that Facebook was dealing with its content moderation dilemma by hiring 3,000 more people to work on the issue. But adding thousands of more staff to deal with the problem is unlikely to change a thing if Facebook refuses to make a clear commitment to protect its users first and foremost.

That means meeting with groups representing people who have been adversely affected by the Facebook's current content moderation strategy to get a clear understanding how the platform isn't working for everyone. But that's not happening. In January, a coalition of 77 civil rights groups wrote a letter to Facebook requesting a meeting to address what the organizers called the "disproportionate censorship of Facebook users of color." Facebook declined.

Twitter, for its part, says it's trying to curb harassment. Last month, the company reported that it's "taking action on 10x the number of abusive accounts every day compared to the same time last year" and now works to "limit account functionality or place suspensions on thousands more abusive accounts each day."

But that's based on internal data, and whether or not those fixes are truly meaningful depends on how many accounts it censured before. Still, something is better than nothing, even if it has taken years for Twitter to step up.

While Airbnb did the right thing in this case, monitoring situations on a case-by-case basis is unlikely to be very effective. Its platform is run on software that can book reservations much, much faster than a human can erase them. And that means that the company might need to use software to monitor for and flag bigoted interactions on the site. For example, if a black user is repeated being denied booking requests that are otherwise open, technology could flag that.

There are serious limits to policing hateful activities. It's nearly impossible to read a person's intentions; we also probably wouldn't want Airbnb to wade into political stances that don't involve outright hatred and calls for violence. Which is why having a clear, easy way for people to report problems they are experiencing, as well as a commitment to quickly investigate and act appropriately, is important, too.

And if the racists, sexists, and anti-Semites gathering in Charlottesville don't like it, they can go make their own Airbnb. It's a free country.

SEE ALSO: 3 dead following white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia — FBI announces investigation

DON'T MISS: Photos show how a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville devolved into chaos and bloodshed

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