OPERATION ICEBERG: THE TIER LIST
THEORY:
Varys has Tyrek Lannister
TIER:
People's Choice!
Stumpy note: This is one of those times when I don't think you should pay close attention to my definitions. I don't want to influence your vote, but I just want to say that sometimes something can be extremely likely without there being mountains of evidence. For instance, consider a theory like the Hound being the gravedigger.
Strong Contender: These theories have a lot of textual support, but there are still some elements of uncertainty.
vs.
Possible: These theories could be true, but additional evidence is needed, as different interpretations or errors are possible.
vs.
Under Consideration: These theories haven't garnered strong or extensive evidence, but they're worthy of discussion.
[Tier list overview]
EVIDENCE:
First, who is Tyrek Lannister?
Son of Darlessa Marbrand and Tygett Lannister, Tywin Lannister's brother.
Handsome with long golden curls, roughly the same age as Sansa.
Served as Robert Baratheon's squire.
Married Lady Ermesande Hayford to secure her lands for House Lannister.
His bride, Ermesande, is an infant.
Moving on to the key points.
Stannis and Renly Baratheon block King's Landing's food supplies, causing widespread unrest. On the day Princess Myrcella leaves for Dorne, a mob attacks the royal party, sparking a riot.
Tyrek was in attendance and goes missing in the chaos.
"Ser Preston is not returned," Ser Boros Blount reported, "nor Aron Santagar."
"Nor Wet Nurse," said Ser Horas Redwyne. That was the mocking name the other squires had hung on young Tyrek Lannister. - Tyrion IX, ACOK
And stays missing.
Tyrek was still missing, as was the High Septon's crystal crown. Nine gold cloaks had been slain, two score wounded. No one had troubled to count how many of the mob had died.
"I want Tyrek found, alive or dead," Tyrion said curtly when Bywater was done. "He's no more than a boy. Son to my late uncle Tygett. His father was always kind to me."
"We'll find him. The septon's crown as well." - Tyrion IX, ACOK
This mystery continues into the next book.
"Aye. I fear I did not leave him in the best of moods. Lord Tywin feels forty-four hundred guardsmen more than sufficient to find one lost squire, but your cousin Tyrek remains missing."
Tyrek was the son of his late Uncle Tygett, a boy of thirteen. He had vanished in the riot, not long after wedding the Lady Ermesande, a suckling babe who happened to be the last surviving heir of House Hayford. And likely the first bride in the history of the Seven Kingdoms to be widowed before she was weaned. "I couldn't find him either," confessed Tyrion. - Tyrion I, ASOS
Suddenly, a throwaway detail: Varys, the master of whisperers and knower of all things, helped try to locate the young man.
"He's feeding worms," said Bronn with his usual tact. "Ironhand looked for him, and the eunuch rattled a nice fat purse. They had no more luck than we did. Give it up, ser."
Ser Addam gazed at the sellsword with distaste. "Lord Tywin is stubborn where his blood is concerned. He will have the lad, alive or dead, and I mean to oblige him." He looked back to Tyrion. "You will find your father in his solar." - Tyrion I, ASOS
Then, another oddity: Varys the mummer puts on a bit of a performance.
"Alas, our beloved Tyrek has quite vanished, the poor brave lad." Varys sounded close to tears. - Tyrion III, ASOS
Not done yet, the author extends this mystery into A Feast for Crows. I can't give you an exact number of days, but at this point, Tyrek has been missing for a long time, and these people probably should have moved on.
Also, check out that ellipsis of truth.
The lady of the castle was a Lannister by marriage, a plump toddler who had been wed to his cousin Tyrek before she was a year old. Lady Ermesande was duly trotted out for their approval, all trussed up in a little gown of cloth-of-gold, with the green fretty and green pale wavy of House Hayford rendered in tiny beads of jade. But soon enough the girl began to squall, whereupon she was promptly whisked off to bed by her wet nurse.
"Has there been no word of our Lord Tyrek?" her castellan asked as a course of trout was served.
"None." Tyrek Lannister had vanished during the riots in King's Landing whilst Jaime himself was still captive at Riverrun. The boy would be fourteen by now, assuming he was still alive.
"I led a search myself, at Lord Tywin's command," offered Addam Marbrand as he boned his fish, "but I found no more than Bywater had before me. The boy was last seen ahorse, when the press of the mob broke the line of gold cloaks. Afterward . . . well, his palfrey was found, but not the rider. Most like they pulled him down and slew him. But if that's so, where is his body? The mob let the other corpses lie, why not his?"
"He would be of more value alive," suggested Strongboar. "Any Lannister would bring a hefty ransom."
"No doubt," Marbrand agreed, "yet no ransom demand was ever made. The boy is simply gone."
"The boy is dead." Jaime had drunk three cups of wine, and his golden hand seemed to be growing heavier and clumsier by the moment. A hook would serve me just as well. "If they realized whom they'd killed, no doubt they threw him in the river for fear of my father's wrath. They know the taste of that in King's Landing. Lord Tywin always paid his debts."
"Always," Strongboar agreed, and that was the end of that. - Jaime III, AFFC
Finally, it happens: Jaime Lannister implicates Varys in the disappearance of Tyrek Lannister and openly questions why Varys wasn't present during the bread riots.
Also, another ellipsis of truth!
Yet afterward, alone in the tower room he had been offered for the night, Jaime found himself wondering. Tyrek had served King Robert as a squire, side by side with Lancel. Knowledge could be more valuable than gold, more deadly than a dagger. It was Varys he thought of then, smiling and smelling of lavender. The eunuch had agents and informers all over the city. It would have been a simple matter for him to arrange to have Tyrek snatched during the confusion . . . provided he knew beforehand that the mob was like to riot. And Varys knew all, or so he would have us believe. Yet he gave Cersei no warning of that riot. Nor did he ride down to the ships to see Myrcella off. - Jaime III, AFFC
You might remember that Varys also helped Gendry escape King's Landing and claims to have done the same for Aegon VI Targaryen.
Snatching young male nobles from King's Landing has become something of a hobby at this point. (Not to be outdone, Littlefinger has taken up the same pastime.)
"Here's something you don't know. It wasn't supposed to happen like it did. I was set to leave, wagons bought and loaded, and a man comes with a boy for me, and a purse of coin, and a message, never mind who it's from. Lord Eddard's to take the black, he says to me, wait, he'll be going with you. Why d'you think I was there? Only something went queer." - Arya I, ACOK
x
The lad flushed. "That was not me. I told you. That was some tanner's son from Pisswater Bend whose mother died birthing him. His father sold him to Lord Varys for a jug of Arbor gold. He had other sons but had never tasted Arbor gold. Varys gave the Pisswater boy to my lady mother and carried me away." - Tyrion VI, ADWD
Lastly, in 2001, George R. R. Martin pulled a George R. R. Martin.
Was "file Tyrek" closed in ASOS with the hint that he ended in a bowl of stew?
Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. - George R. R. Martin
(To my knowledge, it has never been hinted that Tyrek ended up in a bowl of stew.)
COUNTER-EVIDENCE:
Maybe Littlefinger has him?
On a serious note, this is a totally realistic scenario:
"If they realized whom they'd killed, no doubt they threw him in the river for fear of my father's wrath. They know the taste of that in King's Landing. Lord Tywin always paid his debts." - Jaime III, AFFC
STUMPY'S THOUGHTS:
Two more and Varys gets his boyband.
Remember everyone, sometimes: quality > quantity.
VOTE:
NEXT THEORY:
Tysha is the Sailor's Wife
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