#there are….. so many goddamn chapters left | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ecneremili · 3 months

Text

The One With The Proposal

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!OC

Warnings: smut, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), slight BDSM (use of cuffs), delayed orgasm, P in V sex, unprotected sex (people pls be safe), creampie, no use of Y/N

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: Well... Okay. There's a few things you need to know about this piece of work you're about to read. This is actually a part of my series that I'm writing on Wattpad. I will put the link below in case you want to read the whole thing. It's not finished, I'm still writing it. This chapter, however, can be a standalone and can be viewed as a one-shot, so I decided to post it here, too. I wish you an enjoyable reading. Oh, and this is not read through, so if you find some mistakes, pretend that you didn't.

Wattpad acc link: here

Spencer Reid. A man known for several things. His knowledge. A brilliant man, whom the FBI owes many thanks. Uncountable cases that he helped solve that would probably stay unsolved without him. His blabbering. He had a whole paragraph ready to shout out on anything you say. The sky? Fun fact... The book you're looking at? Fun fact, the author actually... A specific person who's dead or alive or never surfaced for something they did? Fun fact about them...

You will never see him wear anything outside of professional clothes. Comfortable professional clothes. Sweaters, cardigans. He sometimes reminds me of older women who wrap themselves in their cardigans. You will never hear him swear. Not in public, anyway. The most he said once was goddamn it. The entire team was left in shock. Penelope was even scared of him that day.

He will stutter in conversations and situations that make him even slightly uncomfortable. He has a germ thing. He never shakes hands or hugs with random people. He makes contact with his friends, me, and some close people like his mother, Diane.

Now put all that into an image and try to picture that man. A shy, uncomfortable, boyish man. Stuck reading books when he has free time. No, no. He cancels plans to stay indoors and read books. Even re-read them.

That same man proposed to me half an hour ago. It was small, intimate, and sentimental. We walked by the restaurant where we confessed we loved each other. He let my hand go and I took a few steps ahead. When I turned back, he was down on one knee and held a small box in his hands.

I said yes.

I said yes more than once.

He was the sweetest man. He was mine. I loved to be loved by him. Delicate, heartwarming, caring and sweet. The man I just described above.

That same man was driving us home at the moment, his dick hard, bulging in his pants, one hand or the wheel, the other deep in my cunt while curving his knuckles at a new angle as he fucked me.

Every person has two sides.

And boy, oh boy, did I love his other side.

Everything anyone knew about Spencer, they would say he would be a sweet, whiney, submissive man during intimacy. I beg to differ.

His fingers twirling inside me, I huff as I refuse to moan just yet. I hated the way he could make me fold so, so easily. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. My mouth is open and I can't hold in pleads from him. His fingers are long. I love his fingers. But his cock is bigger.

He pulls into our parking space and he removes his hand from under my dress. He walks out and comes around to open my door. I begin to come out when he stops me, picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder. I yelp, feeling almost powerless. He slams the door and locks the car and continues to carry me up almost three flights of stairs. The apartment door flies open before we go in. He closes it with his leg and heads directly to our bedroom.

I can't help but blush. I felt like a tiny girl. How disgusting that the tiny girl imagined all the things he would do to her in a few moments. He slides me down and steps back to look at me. His eyes scan me, from the smallest hair on the top of my head all the way down to my toes. There's a devilish desire in his eyes, his mouth parted ever so slightly. His eyes come back to mine and he, almost growling, says, "I kneeled for you, now go ahead and kneel for me."

Tingles run down my entire body. I don't hesitate to obligate his request. Not a request. He demanded. And I wasn't going to defy this. I wasn't going to defy him. Not breaking eye contact, I slide down on my knees, perfectly aligned with his belt. I look ahead, seeing him painfully hard in his pants. I slide my hands up his legs and start undoing his pants. Every clank makes me tingle between my legs.

There was a specific time when a powerful, strong and independent woman only wants, no, only needs to be told what to do. I raised myself from nothing. No one helped me. I could only thank myself for everything I have accomplished in my life. I would listen to no man. No man had the power over me. No man could take nothing from me. Except him. He had all of me wrapped around his little finger.

And I didn't mind.

Being submissive to someone means so much more then people think. It means trust. It means love. Truth be told, not every submissive person tends to be like that in everyday life. Don't get me wrong, I know what comes to mind when you think of someone like that. Porn taught us so wrongly. And this? This was so much more intimate then just porn. This was desire, lust, and pure neediness.

After undoing his belt, I pulled down his pants, tugging his underwear to, removing them to. I would skip everything just to feel him. Being released from his clothes was hitting him sweetly as he took a sharp breath when my eyes fell to his dick.

I look up, almost lustful, maybe waiting for him to tell me to touch him, maybe even to beg me, a whole 180 to what I just described myself as. His eyes were dark and watching me from a high. He simply smirked, almost reading my mind and what was going through it.

"Go on," he half whispered, voice deep just like the darkness around us, "be the slut the outside world has no idea you are."

And that was all it took. My hand takes his base before I stick out my tongue and slide it up his entire length. There was a lot of length. He inhales, pushing a groan down his throat at the first touch I plant on him.

This was going to be a long night.

The kiss I leave at his tip as I start stroking him with my hand sends his head falling back. The motion pushes his curls off of his forehead. I loved when his hair fell on his face. It made him look messy. It made him look more flustered. And the image of him like that made me throb between my legs.

After enough slow-play, I stick out my tongue and take him in my mouth, slowly, reaching as far as I could before I feel him touch my throat. He feels he reached far and he groans. The funny thing is I had taken only half of him. He looks down again, his hairs flying back to his face. His fingers twist around in my hair and tug slightly, almost like he was checking the grip he had on my head.

But I soon found out it wasn't the grip why I thought he wanted it. He held my head in place as he started to rock back and forth. He was using me. Using my mouth to be precise. And he started fucking it. At first it was slow, almost shallow thrusts, reaching where he first did. But as time passed, he became more fierce. He started going deeper, hitting the back of my throat with more force making me gag. My eyes started to water as I had no control over anything. His hand held my head in place as he now almost pounded into my mouth.

As he continued, I could feel him twitch on the top of my mouth. And so did I. I felt my panties dampen with every second that passed. I was horny because my boyfriend, my fiancé, was fucking my throat like it was just something for him to use.

Muffled moans and occasional groans escaped his mouth. He was about to finish. I could easily tell by the increased speed of his thrusts and their force. Finally, he pushed himself almost the whole way, deep into my throat and let himself release there. I gagged pretty hard, trying to keep him down and not throw out his cum.

He pulled himself out and let go of his grip on my hair. His hand slid from behind to my chin and he lifted my face up. He was taking deep and long breaths, his chest falling and rising every time. His eyes scanned me, a fucked mouth, watery eyes and bright red cheeks. Must have been quite a sight.

"Swallow, baby." he said and left his mouth slightly opened, watching as the small bulb went down my throat and he smiled in satisfaction. "Good girl. Your turn."

He bent down and picked me up to carry me to the bed. Back facing the mattress, he climbed on top and roughly kissed me. I loved when he did that. After what I just did, he didn't hesitate to kiss me. He didn't get disgusted to do so. His fingers hooked around the hem of my dress and he pulled it off in one quick motion. I was left in my bra and panties that were already soaking wet. Every time he saw me like that, dressed but not dressed, I'd get shy.

I never liked my body. And yet he worshipped it.

"God, you're so gorgeous." he hovered over me, his eyes trailing over every inch of my body. I shivered from his words that sounded like a prayer. It was half whispers. Like he was afraid that if someone heard what he had, it would be stolen from him.

His lips come down and start kissing my neck, my weak spot. Just the warmth of his kiss makes me moan, eager for more as I buck my hips up towards him. I feel that I caress his cock against my thigh, and as soon as he feels it, he pushes my hips down with his hands.

"Needy, are we?" he chuckles against my skin as he now slowly moves lower and leaves a trail of kisses at my collarbone.

"I hate when you do this." I whine, my fingers roaming through his hair.

"You hate when I kiss you?" he says between kisses, one on my shoulder, one at the base of my neck, one directly in between my breasts.

"No, I-" my words get interrupted when I moan. I feel him smile when he hears me. "I hate when you make me wait. You tease. Every time." I take a deep breath in between every sentence to take in his kisses. As much as I did hate the delay of the actual sex, I loved feeling him everywhere. I didn't know what I wanted more.

He continues kissing, his lips reaching my stomach and he stops. I look down to see him slightly smirking as he is settled just between my legs. I feel shivers. He lets go of my hips and slowly pulls down my panties, sliding his fingers down along my legs in the process. He is continuing to tease me with every touch he leaves on my body.

When I finally think that he is going to stick his tongue at my cunt, I am yet again met with disappointment. He comes over me and trails his hands, slowly, around my back as he keeps looking me in the eyes to catch every whiney face I make as I plead him to fuck me already using no words. But he knows. Oh, he knows that's what I'm asking of him.

He unhooks my bra and I am completely naked. His shirt comes off as he makes us even. Again, I hope that he will now go down. It doesn't have to be his mouth, I'll be happy if he would just stick his fucking fingers into my pussy and rummage through it. But, no. He bends down and kisses my breasts, moving from one to the other. Kissing it, sucking on the nipples, squeezing them with his hands.

If he was kissing and/or sucking the right he would be squeezing the left. There was no space left for me to catch a breath. Then, he bit down on one, just enough to make me squeal. He chuckled with my tit in his mouth. I had enough. I gripped his hair and pulled him up to my face.

"What do you fucking want from me?" I say with a whiney voice. I sounded desperate. I hated it. I loved it, too.

His face had a drunk smile across it. He was enjoying this. My torture was satisfaction for him. Fucking great. "I want you to beg." he said through a whisper. His head was tilted back as I was pulling his hair.

I hated to beg him. Especially to do what I wanted. I knew he knows what I want, but he loves when he makes me break and I have nothing left but to fucking beg him to do the most unholy things to me.

I roll my eyes. "No." I simply say.

He smirks and bucks his hips so his dick slides over my dripping cunt. My entire body arches and he smiles again. "Beg, my love. Use that mouth for something else then a place for me to dump my cum."

That mother fucker. "You assh-" he bucks his hips again and breaks me mid-sentence. I growl at him.

"I don't think that's how begging works. C'mon. Beg me to fuck you. I know you want to."

It was weird hearing him swear. Not just swear, but use vulgar words in general. I used them everyday. It was like saying 'hi' to someone. But Spencer? Noup.

I gave up. I close my eyes and just make peace with my fate. "Please, Spencer."

He bends down and kisses my lips. "You have to be specific, my love. What do you want from me?"

I'm boiling at this point. Do I have a choice? If I want to be fucked, not really. "I want you to fuck me, please me, make me cum. I'm fucking tired of being teased." I practically cry out the last part.

He smirks and I let go of my grip on his hair. He doesn't move, he is still looking me directly in the eyes as he slides one hand down and caresses my inner thigh. He goes over my cunt with his entire hand and I loudly gasp. He watches, enjoys the reactions he gets as he touches me. He brings his hand up and licks his two fingers and then slides them down again.

Baby, you don't need no more moisture, I'm wet enough.

His hand finally connects to my core and he starts making circles around my clit. My body erupts. I no longer have control over my reactions. My eyebrows furrow, my mouth is wide open and it's letting out moans, whines, sounds I didn't even know I could make. And he simply watches. From time to time he would bend down and kiss my neck, maybe even bite down on it, making me buck my entire body up.

"God, you're so fucking wet." he says and starts rubbing up and down my entrance. "You're so pretty. My pretty girl."

I'm melting. Melting into his sinister hands that are touching me in the most horrid ways. And I wouldn't stop him even in a million fucking years.

He slides the fingers in, gently, slowly, caringly. I let out a loud moan, slapping my mouth after I do. Just as I did, his other hand takes my wrist and pulls it off. Holding it, he collects my other hand and pins both of them above my head. "Why would you do that?" he asks. But I don't answer, it's a rhetorical question. "You sound so beautiful when you moan for me. You sound so pretty."

His knuckles are now buried deep inside my pussy and he starts to pump them in and out. When he slides them back in, his thumb hits my clit and he curls his fingers inside just enough to hit that little spot. Every movement he made was followed by that wet sound. I just knew his fingers were drowning in my arousal, and I just knew he was so eager to put his cock inside there too.

He kisses my jaw, my neck, my cheeks. He is enjoying this. Pleasuring someone you truly love is pleasure to you as well. His other hand in on my thigh, pulling it away so he has better access and can slide in deeper then he usually could. In between my own sounds, I can hear him groan whenever I jerk my hips upward and slightly stoke him against my leg.

I want more. Now, I'm just desperate because I don't want to finish now. I want to cum over his cock while he is buried all the way inside. I want him to see that little blub in my stomach appear and disappear as he fucks me.

Like on cue, as if he heard me, he pulls his hand away and climbs the bed again. Pushing my legs fully apart, he aligns himself at my entrance. He pushes, but purposefully jerks himself up so he slides against my clit. I see him place himself on my abdomen as if he is looking how far he goes when he's inside.

"Look at how deep I can bury myself in you, love." he admires and glides his fingers over my skin. He pulls back and leans over to the drawer next to our bed. For a moment he rummages through it. "Shit."

I look over, trying to figure out what was going on. "What is it?"

He pauses and looks at me. "We don't have any condoms."

Well shit.

But I put on my big girl face. "And?"

He looks slightly surprised by my reaction. "No protection?"

I shrug. "What's the worst that can happen?" I smirk, moving myself lower on the bed and connecting myself with him. He really was hard.

He says nothing and just enters. He pushes in with quite a bit of force. I let out a quiet scream at his motion. I still needed time to adjust to his length. But he didn't care. He was already in full force, starting to pick up the pace of his thrusts. His hands go down and wrap around my hips and he uses them to pull me on himself as he continues to pound me.

The room is filled with my whines and moans, the sounds of our hips connecting and slamming against each other, and his groans. I love when he groans. I know he feels good. I make him feel good.

"You're so tight. It's so warm inside." he says through rough groans.

His fingers are diving inside the skin of my hips. I feel pain as he squeezes them. I push the feeling away, I even don't have to. The feeling of his dick hitting my deepest point is strong enough to push it away almost instantly.

The repetitive slamming into me lures my finish to approach. It's forming in my gut and I feel it slowly coming as he continues fucking me mercilessly, rough and fast thrusts.

"I'm gonna cum- Oh, God, Spence." I saw, although I'm not sure how I managed to.

Just as I said that, I felt my climax get at its highest point, and I was about to finish-

He pulls out.

What the fuck?!

"Wha- what are you doing?" I stutter, the high still in the air but it's fading away.

He looks down and has a wicked smile on his face. His cheeks are deep red and his hair is damp from his sweat. "I'm not done with you. Turn around."

I'm mad. Furious. I want to defy him so badly, I want to say 'no', maybe even flip him off. But I want to finish. I was just about to. So I do as I'm told. I prompt myself up and turn around and stand on all fours on the bed. Might I add that this is my favorite position.

I expect him to align himself again and continue to thrust like he did, but he gets off the bed and walks over to the corner of the room. The corner where he keeps his bag for work. I hear a clank before he walks back behind me. He places his hand on my upper back and slightly pushes, indicating for me to lower myself even more. My face and chest lay on the mattress. My ass is now the only thing in the air.

This position gives him more access. I am ready for it to hurt before I can adjust myself to his length again at this angle. Yet again, I don't get what I'm expecting. He takes my wrist and places it behind my back, then the other and connects it with my other one. I hear that clank again. He takes one of my wrists again and puts the metal around it.

It's his fucking cuffs.

He puts his cuffs on and thugs on the chain between them to pull my arms back. He pulls so much that I have to lift myself slightly off the bed. I tremble. Out of excitement. Our of slight fear. Out of horniness, simply.

I feel him bend down and kiss my back. He knows I love that. It feels very intimate to me. He kisses down my spine and then slaps my ass. I yelp, not just by the sudden contact, but also because he slapped it pretty hardly. Not enough to leave a bruise, but it will definitely go red in a few seconds.

"You ready?"

There are certain points in our sex life when he asks, or even simply warns to hold on tight to anything. Since I was obviously restrained, he's asking. That is enough to know this was going to be really good.

"Yeah." I whisper, my face buried back into our bed.

"You know I love you, right?" he whispers again and pushes his tip into my cunt.

My breath trembles since I was still sensitive from the high I missed a few minutes ago. "I know."

"Good. Because for the next few minutes it might not look like I do."

He didn't give me time to respond. He slammed himself inside, making me scream out. This was enough for the neighbors to hear. He started thrusting. I still wasn't adjusted to this position, and his cock was hitting from a new angle that allowed much better access. I felt pain. But, God, was it good. My eyes started watering from the pain as I couldn't take it. I prayed that my pussy would stretch just slightly so I could take him a bit easier.

After a short while, I did. The slight pain was still there. It couldn't really go away from the force he was driving himself in. And then it happened. He slapped my ass again. It was a strong slap. His hand was big enough to cover my entire cheek. I yelp at the sudden pain.

As he continues to thrust, I feel him occasionally twitch. That can mean only one thing. He is about to cum again. Just when I realize that, he speeds up. He pulls on the cuffs and makes me get up from the bed. He's pulling hard enough to hold me in the air.

He hits again, going back to squeeze after. I feel the slight burn of his slaps. Another one connects to my skin and with it I feel that high again. I don't want it to escape again, so I bend slightly so he feels me letting him slide even deeper.

Spencer quickly realizes what I'm trying to tell him, but there's not much left before I feel him hammer himself once, then again, just as I feel my climax release. I scream out, and I feel him empty himself inside.

It takes him a few seconds to calm down before he lets me fall down on the bed again. I'm a fucking mess. He takes off the cuffs and places my hands on my sides before he bends down and removes my hair from the back of my neck and kisses in that spot.

"My perfect girl." he cooed. "You're so fucking special."

I breathe deeply. "Well..." I begin as he lays down next to me. "That was fun." I feel his cum drip down out of my cunt.

He chortles. "That's one way to put it."

I was about to marry this man. I loved every inch of him. Every version there was of him. There was nothing that could take that away from me.

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #doctor spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid #spencer reid scenario #spencer reid x reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid prompt

436 notes · View notes

diorsluv · 25 days

Text

casual , part 3

“ i’ve heard so many rumors ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by mackie.samo, jackhughes, and 259,226 others

yourusername post workout glow 🙈

view all comments

vivianliu mommy

→ yourusername whaaaaaat ⁉️⁉️⁉️

→ _quinnhughes …

→ rutgermcgroarty 📸📸

→ edwards.73 wtf

→ jackhughes no absolutely not

→ luca.fantilli HUH

→ dylanduke25 WHAT

→ vivianliu stop acting like i’ve never said ts before 🙄

edwards.73 you’re really fucking hot

liked by yourusername

→ lhughes_06 FUCK NO

→ jackhughes STEP THE FUCK BACK

→ _quinnhughes hey man what the FUCK

→ vivianliu GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY GIRL

username14 ETHANS COMMENT?????!?!?!?!?!?!

markestapa pretty girl 🫣

→ yourusername that’s so unnatural stop

→ markestapa just doing what the homies do

→ lhughes_06 did the lack of my presence fuck with your heads because i explicitly told everyone to NOT mess w my sister.

→ markestapa suck it up lil bro

mackie.samo GODDAMN

→ yourusername LMFAOOOO

→ jackhughes back the hell up dude

→ _quinnhughes this is a literal fever dream

username54 rumors aint rumors anymore

username38 ethan’s practically screaming their relationship status to the world rn

colecaufield i’m not a part of this in any way but you genuinely look really good rosie

→ yourusername awwww thank you ☺️

→ jackhughes if you ever fucked around with my sister i would punch you in the face

→ colecaufield I HAVENT AND I WONT I SWEAR

→ jackhughes YEAH U BETTER NOT CUZ IM READY 🤺

sidneycrosby_87_ looking great kiddo!

→ yourusername oh my god sidney crosby.

→ lhughes_06 OH MY GOD SIDNEY CROSBY???

→ jackhughes this isn’t fair

→ vivianliu HI SIDNEY

rutgermcgroarty 🥴

→ yourusername 🤭

→ lhughes_06 i can’t tell if you’re flirting because you’re best friends or if you’re flirting to fuck

→ rutgermcgroarty whaaaaa i would never do such a thing and you know that luke (my door is open yourusername)

→ yourusername we’re flirting AS A JOKE because you’re gone now and you can’t dictate shit anymore 🙄 lhughes_06

username45 LMFAO did ethan ask everyone to say shit to cover his comment

mackie.samo i see you’re working out without me now 🤨

→ yourusername YOU LEFT ME. what was i supposed to do 😔😔

→ mackie.samo YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO MOVE ON

→ yourusername IM HAPPIER NOW 🤬

→ markestapa what is this 😟

adamfantilli woha

→ adamfantilli owah

→ adamfantilli woah

→ yourusername are you malfunctioning

→ adamfantilli yes (i was told to)

jackhughes did you redecorate your room??

→ yourusername yes my man helped me redecorate 🥰

→ jackhughes YOUR MAN????

→ lhughes_06 WHO THE HELL

→ yourusername guys it was a joke..

→ lhughes_06 your life is a joke

→ yourusername ?!???!????!

_quinnhughes i know who it is.

→ yourusername no u dont

→ lhughes_06 TELL ME

→ jackhughes WHO IS IT

→ trevorzegras congrats to the only hughes brother with a brain 🥳

→ jackhughes HEY

→ lhughes_06 NOT COOL TREVOR

→ rutgermcgroarty the fact that it took you this long is concerning

→ markestapa okay she ACTUALLY told you rutgermcgroarty

→ dylanduke25 fr the rest of us had to find out DIFFERENTLY

→ edwards.73 you guys are kinda slow

username55 i know someones gonna come back for this post tn…

→ username97 LMFAOOO

→ username21 STOP DONT EXPOSE HIM LIKE THAT

username38 UR SO PRETTY

username30 GIRLLLL give us the workout routine please 😞🙏

username88 body goals hello????

trevorzegras ur bed was not in that corner last time i was there

→ yourusername i redecorated we already said so 🙄

→ jackhughes since when were you in my sister’s apartment??

→ trevorzegras i was in town for a game

→ jackhughes but detroit is 45 mins away????

→ trevorzegras WE WERE THERE FOR THREE DAYS

→ yourusername jack he was helping me set up my ikea dresser 😭😭

→ vivianliu i know someone’s absolutely LIVID

dylanduke25 WOW SO PRETTY

→ yourusername THANK U DUKER

→ dylanduke25 YOU’RE WELCOME

username96 help i audibly screamed when i saw this post

yourusername

liked by markestapa, _alexturcotte, and 153,256 others

yourusername some of the guys invaded girls night at 12 in the morning and then literally kicked us out of my own room ⁉️⁉️

tagged: vivianliu, markestapa, g.brindley4, rutgermcgroarty, dylanduke25, luca.fantilli

view all comments

edwards.73 why was i not invited

→ yourusername u didn’t come idk i thought u were busy like always

→ edwards.73 but you know i would never be too busy for you

→ yourusername lmao doesnt really seem like it tho

vivianliu and they burnt our fucking cookies

→ yourusername FR almost burnt the apartment down 🙄

→ dylanduke25 THAT WASN’T EVEN US

→ vivianliu U KNOW DAMN WELL THAT WAS U AND RUT

→ rutgermcgroarty WHY ARE U BLAMING ME???

g.brindley4 oh my god i’m on the main

→ yourusername YOU’RE ON THE MAIN ‼️

username38 mark wearing sunglasses in a dark ass room 😭

dylanduke25 rut’s ass was in my face and i swear he fucking ripped ass like three times

→ yourusername HELLO WHAT??? I DONT REMEMBER THIS

→ rutgermcgroarty I LITERALLY DIDNT THO??

→ luca.fantilli i could smell that shit from the other room

→ g.brindley4 the absolute STENCH

username32 luca could not have been comfortable sleeping in that position 😭

→ username80 men are weird

username67 AHHH PINK COOKIES

luca.fantilli cuddling with the homies 🥴🥴

→ yourusername oh my god

→ markestapa 😘

→ dylanduke25 im blushing ☺️☺️

→ g.brindley4 best couple!

→ rutgermcgroarty 😝

→ vivianliu you’re all so weird

trevorzegras marky lookin kinda cute tn 🫣

→ yourusername STOP

→ markestapa yes i’ll go out with you!

mackie.samo um. i facetimed him and hes kicking, screaming and crying?!?!?

→ yourusername oops

→ mackie.samo yeah what a big fucking oops 🙄

→ vivianliu HES THE TOXIC ONE

username77 getting kicked out of your own room is crazy

username48 ethan’s definitely punching the air rn

_alexturcotte what happened to the boyfriend

→ yourusername technically he’s not my boyfriend cuz he doesn’t like labels!

→ colecaufield 😭😭

→ yourusername HIS WORDS NOT MINE

→ trevorzegras imagine what’ll happen when your brothers find out 😂

→ yourusername 1. for the love of god stop using that emoji and 2. they wont find out!

→ _quinnhughes i found out

→ yourusername besides you 😒😒

username79 ethan’s definitely regretting not putting a label on them

username92 do luke and jack never check the comments 😭😭

→ vivianliu they did but rosie gaslighted them into believing it’s not ethan and they barely pay attention to what the others say anyways

→ username60 LMAOOO

lhughes_06 WE NEVER HAD SLEEPOVERS WHEN I WAS THERE WHAT??

→ yourusername i’m the better sibling

→ vivianliu correct

→ rutgermcgroarty correct

→ edwards.73 correct

→ colecaufield correct

→ adamfantilli correct

→ trevorzegras correct

→ _alexturcotte correct

→ markestapa correct

→ luca.fantilli correct

→ mackie.samo correct

→ dylanduke25 correct

→ _quinnhughes not correct????

→ jackhughes INCORRECT TF

edwards.73 I CAN’T GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU DIDN’T INVITE ME

→ yourusername IM SORRY I GEN THOUGHT U WERE JUST BUSY AGAIN

→ markestapa there’s no way you’re still on this

→ edwards.73 inv me next time 😔

next chapter notes ) happy april fools dayyy!! hope yall got some good pranks in 😈😈 and guys HE DOESN’T DO LABELS 😓

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood

#ethan edwards #ethan edwards fanfic #ethan edwards fic #ethan edwards x y/n #ethan edwards x reader #quinn hughes #jack hughes #luke hughes #trevor zegras #mackie samoskevich #mark estapa #dylan duke #rutger mcgroarty #luca fantilli #adam fantilli #cole caufield #alex turcotte

267 notes · View notes

lovelyiida · 1 year

Text

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬.

KATSUKI BAKUGO X SECRETARY READER

A 500 FOLLOWERS SERIES!

❥ SYNOPSIS: as the years went by, bakugo realized that he was the last to get married. the days grew cold and the nights turned lonely. bakugo want's to marry, but he doesn't really feel like falling in love. at least he has his trustee secretary!

❥: CHAPTERS

❥ WARNINGS: implied fem reader, aged-up! Pro-hero MHA characters over the age of 27, vulgar language, suggestive wording and content

❥ MASTERLIST

❥ JOIN TAG LIST!

WORDS: 0.9K

PROLOUGE: BAKUGO’S MIDLIFE CRISIS

Katsuki Bakugo was widely regarded as the greatest hero of all time. He had it all: striking looks, immense strength, an unwavering attitude, and a fortune to rival that of a king. Despite his many accolades, Bakugo was plagued by one thing…

loneliness.

However, he never saw it as a problem. In fact, he cherished his solemn solitude more than anything else. It was his personal sanctuary, a place where he could find solace from the world. He would often come home to the sound of nothing but white noise and strip off his clothes, the sounds of absolutely nothing roaming through is head.

feeling the heavy weight of slumber seep into his being, stumbling towards his bedroom. The sensation of water trickling down his skin in the shower was the only sound he could hear, and he relished in it. As he collapsed onto his pillow, he was met with absolute silence. The stillness he had created was something he found comfort in, something he loved.

closing his eyes, he’s met with nothing.

Absolutely, nothin’

Bakugo absolutely, loved being alone.

That was until everyone had to shove it in his face…

“Dude, c’mon! It’s about that time in your life where you start to settle! Find a gal and have some rascals—create a bloodline and stuff!” Said his trustee friend, Kirishima.

Bakugo currently sat down within the four walls of Kirishima’s lovely home. Bakugo scowls as he looks around the place. Colorful toys litter every square foot of the house.

The lovely home bustling with energy and filled with vibrant toys scattered across every square foot. a total of not one, not two, but three lively kids running and jumping off the walls—their laughter echoing through the halls. Bakugo lets out a scowl as he surveyed the chaos around him.

As he looked over at his best friend Kirishima, Bakugo couldn't help but notice the evidence of his friend's exhaustion. His once-white t-shirt was now covered in marker blotches and food stains, and dark circles had formed under his eyes, a testament to his sleepless nights. Despite his fatigue, Kirishima's toothy grin shone bright, and Bakugo couldn't help but feel a sense of admiration for his friend's strength and resilience.

“You look like shit,” Bakugo rudely complements.

That once toothy grin curves down into a frown, “listen—believe it or not, children actually need to be taken care of and can’t be left alone for more than an hour, especially mines.” Kirishima directs his thumb behind him, directing to his children, which were currently drawing on the wall.

Bakugo rolls his eyes, “right—when are you gonna come back to the agency? Sick n’tired of doing all this shit on my own.”

“Dude, I’m awol for another…2 months?” He questions himself, “after me and the wife had kid three, I registered for maternity leave remember? Gotta help around, make memories, rest!” He laughs.

Oh, that laugh pissed him off.

“Rest? All you do is fuckin rest! Rest and fuck, and get your girl pregnant…unbelievable.” Bakugo sighs, crossing his arms tight against his chest.

“You wish you could rest and fuck like I could, it’s not my fault I’m irresistible~” Kirishima coos. This earns a dry chuckle from Bakugo.

“You know what is your fault? Not putting on a goddamn rubber,” He chuckled. This earns a laugh out of Kirishima.

“That I agree with, only downfall to having so many kids is never getting the time to go wild. Like, honeymoon phase wild.” Kirishima gives his friend an evil smile.

“Wha?” Bakugo say’s in confusion.

“The honeymoon phase, y’know? Can’t get your hands off each other—leads to the first child, usually the one that’s actually planned.” Kirishima says, taking a sip of his drink.

Kirishima quickly glances back at his wife, who's busy tending to one of their kids who just bumped their head on the couch. With a mischievous twinkle in his eye, Kirishima slowly lets out a deep sigh of contentment. His eyes gleaming with satisfaction, he spreads his legs wide in the comfortable chair, relishing in the soft cushioning that cradles his back.

“Dude, can’t even describe the things that woman has done to me back in those days. Easily busted six loads a week! But once that first child came around, I can barely get any, currently on a holidays-only-basis…” Kirishima says sorrowfully.

This makes Bakugo burst into laughter.

“That’s what your dumbass gets!” He cackles, holding onto his stomach for support.

“Dumbass!”

Both of the men’s eyes snap towards the voice, they watch as one of Kirishima’s kids runs over towards their father.

“Hey, language!” Kirishima says sternly. This only makes the kid laugh, holding their arms out, Kirishima picks their kid up and placed them on his lap.

“I get that you’re in your prime and stuff, but you’ve been in your prime for 8 years now. You’re 27, it’s okay to enter into a mid-life crisis and re-evaluate your life purpose.” Kirishima says unfazed, picking his child up and starts to make them bounce up and down, cooing at them sheepishly.

This takes Bakugo aback.

“Midlife crisis? Why the fuck would I be in midlife crisis, dumbass?–“

“Fuck!”

“Hey! Stop it!” Kirishima yells at his child again, which makes them laugh out once more. Holding his child, he stands up. Signaling that the conversation is over, and that Bakugo’s visit has come to an end.

in confusion…

“Get a life, get laid.”

GAHHHHH THANKS FOR 500 FOLLWERS!! FINALLY BACK FROM FINALS!!

Decided to celebrate with my first ever series on the account! Thank you all for the support!! If you’d like to be tagged in the next part fill out the tag list form on my page!

— 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲𝐢𝐢𝐝𝐚 ❤︎︎

#mha #mha headcanons #mha x reader #bnha headcanons #mha imagines #bnha insert #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader #mha fanfiction #lovelyiida #bakugou katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou smut #bakugou x y/n #bakugo x you

977 notes · View notes

chuuya-kisser · 23 days

Text

THEORY TIME THEORY TIME

ok. so. first of all FYODOR FCKIN DOSTOEVSKY I LIKE U AND ALL BUT???? REMAIN DEAD??? U JESUS FR??

ANYWAYS ignoring that

so bc i adore skk to hell and back obviously im gonna explore their dynamic first

what kills me is how familiar they are with each other. they arent insulting each other in every sentence, which is still alright. and what struck me the most is how much dazai seems to trust chuuya. more so than anyone.

so far we know that dazai isn't exactly the most open person around. his entire cheerful joking persona is a facade, a fake. what you see is usually only what he wants to show you. his real emotions? ive only seen them very rarely, if at all. now look at these

the way chuuya says what he does implies that he is already used to this habit of dazai's, which is only possible if dazai did this in his mafia days, AND even then, he was open and willing enough to let chuuya see it and know that dazai was anxious. which means that even before mersault, before dazai left the mafia, he and chuuya atleast were that close that the usually closed-off, know-everything demon prodigy could show his worry to his partner, multiple times.

i think that over here, dazai really isnt hiding his emotions. you can see the shock and worry on his face and in his eyes clearly as he puts the pieces together. not only that, hes also laying out parts of his plan to chuuya, in addition to his theories. which he rarely does unless im wrong about that (its possible). he isnt worried about chuuya using his emotions and weaknesses against him, because he trusts him enough, although i think the trust between them was already shown when both of them fake-killed each other.

its easy to see the panic in his eyes, and personally i feel that this is him showing a bit of weakness, which is perfectly alright. the thing is that again, hes letting chuuya see this. I very much doubt that he would have let down his facade enough to show this to absolutely anyone else.

also the poor guy literally looks so stressed out here give him a goddamn break asagiri

aaaaand now chuuya.

now what strikes me is that even in the last chapter/s, chuuya has multiple times tried to reassure dazai that fyodor is indeed dead to try and calm down dazai's worries. this can also be him also wanting a damn break but anyways.

and these panels. while many ppl are agreeing that hes just sitting there being a pretty boy while dazai tows through helicopter debris (and i agree), and definitely chuuyas sadistic streak when it comes to dazai is showing itself clearly, its often been seen in both the official arts and animanga that whenever working together, chuuya always covers dazai's blind spots.

think about it. dazai has his back turned towards everything. if someone launched a surprise attack on him at this moment, the chances of him dodging, finding out abt it in time is pretty low. chuuya is directly behind dazai. i got this idea from another post i saw, but what if this is also chuuya covering for dazai yet again? protecting him?

anyways thats it folks maybe ill make another post on jesus- i meant fyodor soon

#bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #bsd #bsd spoilers #bsd 114 #bsd manga #bsd 114 spoilers #bsd ch 114 #skk

287 notes · View notes

punkshort · 3 months

Text

look what we've become - ch.10

Chapter Summary: Tommy and Maria get married.

Chapter Warnings: language, marriage/wedding ceremony, mentions of pregnancy, so much fluff, so many feelings, soft joel, alcohol, talks of pregnancy, smut (18+ MDNI), fingering, unprotected piv sex, dirty talk

WC: 7.1K

A/N: The finale is here, my friends! I want to say a quick thank you to all of you who came back week after week. All of your support means the world to me and encourages me to keep writing. I hope you find the ending is satisfying for these characters, I did my best to stay true to the story I've created here. It is very fluffy and maybe a little cheesy but I think these characters earned it. Enjoy ❤️

Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter

"Oh my god, I'm so nervous," Maria said, staring at herself in the mirror as you helped apply her makeup. There was just an hour left before the ceremony, and the butterflies were finally beginning to get to her. "Fuck, I wish I could drink." You laughed as you leaned forward to apply more blush to her cheeks.

"What's there to be nervous about?"

"Oh, I don't know! Declaring your undying love for someone in front of every single person in the entire town while trying not to throw up?" she said sarcastically, her voice taking on a panicky tone.

"You'll be fine. When you see him, I'll bet you anything, all of that shit will just melt away and it'll just be you and him. No one else matters," you told her, holding her gaze and watching your words land. "He loves you so much, Maria. You two are perfect together. There's no reason to be afraid."

She just stared at you, dumbfounded, as she listened to your little speech.

"Not to take away from all that, but that's pretty impressive coming from someone who had a fear of marriage not too long ago," she teased. You rolled your eyes and turned around to pick up the mascara.

"Well, maybe I had a best friend who was nice enough to knock some sense into me," you told her with a smirk. "Now tilt your head back and open your eyes up super wide," you told her, dipping the wand into the tube several times, hoping there was enough product left over to make her look perfect.

"Ugh, when's it gonna be my turn," Carrie said with a pout, waltzing into Maria's living room with a glass of wine in her hand. You glanced up at her and stifled a laugh.

"You better slow down, it's gonna be a long night," you warned her, but she just waved you off as she collapsed into the recliner.

"Seriously, though. What's Jake waiting for? We've been together for ages and I'm not getting any younger," she said, taking a sip from her glass.

"Have you talked about your future together?" Maria asked, still staring up at the ceiling as you applied another coat of mascara.

"Yeah, but he's just taking forever. I wish I was like you and didn't care," Carrie said, nodding in your direction. Maria's eyes locked onto yours and you shrugged.

"Oh, yeah. I told her a long time ago," you said sheepishly, and she shook her head lightly.

"Well, if she knows everything, then I guess it's okay if I tell her you want to get married now?" Maria asked defiantly. Your eyes widened and you pressed your lips into a thin line when you heard Carrie jump up and clap her hands.

"I knew it! I knew you'd come around! Can I be a bridesmaid?" she asked, and you nearly dropped the makeup in your hand.

"Whoa, slow down! Joel doesn't even know how I feel about it, so let's keep this super fucking quiet, okay?" you told her, giving her a stern look. She nodded and pretended to zip her lips, but you pointed menacingly at her. "Promise me, Carrie. Don't say a goddamn thing."

"I promise!" she said, holding her hand up in defeat, the other still clutching her glass. "But why haven't you told him?"

"What am I supposed to say? 'Oh, remember all the hell I put you through? Yeah, that was all for nothing, I changed my mind, let's get hitched?'" you said sarcastically before putting the mascara away and giving Maria a hand mirror.

"I'll bet if you said that, he would totally be on board," Maria said with a laugh before handing you the mirror back.

"Well, why don't you ask him to marry you instead?" Carrie offered, staring at her nails and frowning at the chipped paint. Your jaw dropped at the suggestion.

"Oh my god, I can't do that!"

"Why not? What does it even matter? I bet he'd love it," Carrie said, looking back up at you. You slowly shook your head and then Maria chimed in.

"How do you know he isn't planning on asking you already?"

"Now? I really doubt it," you scoffed.

"You never know," she told you, standing up to fix her hair before glancing at the time. "Enough about you, it's my day so let's get me into my dress."

You laughed and followed her to her bedroom.

"Man, you are really bossy since you've gotten pregnant, you know that?" you said with a grin, and somewhere behind you Carrie giggled.

"Newsflash: I was bossy before. Now wait here so you can zip me into this damn thing because if I don't fit, I'm going to scream."

Maria had always wanted to get married outside, but it was almost November and the weather refused to cooperate any longer. She made sure to jokingly blame you for it as often as she could, claiming if your damn bones would just heal faster she might have been able to pull it off. But once you saw how beautifully the town hall was decorated, you almost wanted to tell her she owed you one because you couldn't possibly envision anything looking better outside. Carrie and Ellie had pitched in to help, and they made a stellar team.

The altar was a repurposed garden arch trellis painted white and adorned with mostly paper flowers, considering the time of year. Apparently, some of the older kids in Ellie's art class helped to make the flowers, and they looked absolutely stunning. They used whatever material they had on hand: some tissue paper, some fabric from torn up clothes, and even some paper bags that they ended up painting and dusting with glitter. It was so impressive, you made a mental note to compliment Ellie on it later.

An old, worn rug had been rolled down the aisle with loose flower petals disbursed on top, leading up to the altar. White candlesticks were being lit behind it on the table where most of the meetings took place, a beautiful white tablecloth covering the length of it.

"It looks really great out there," you whispered to Maria, who was hiding in the bathroom, pacing nervously across the floor.

"Yeah? Are they almost ready?" she asked, eyes wide and anxious.

"They're lighting the candles now, so I'm guessing the guys will be back here any minute," you told her with a reassuring smile. "Calm down, Maria. You look absolutely beautiful. There's nothing to worry about."

"Thanks," she said quickly, but continued to pace. "What if I'm making a huge mistake? Oh my god..."

"You aren't! Stop it!" you scolded her, holding out your hands to try to stop her from moving around so much. "You and Tommy are perfect together. I promise you, once you see him, all of your nerves are going to disappear."

She looked at you, trying to force herself to calm down and listen, but her chest was still rising and falling much quicker than usual.

"Besides, it's a little late. You're having his kid," you joked, glancing down at her belly. She furrowed her brows at you for just a second before dissolving into a fit of laughter, gripping the sink to hold her up while you crouched on the ground, laughing and holding your dress up around your knees, trying to catch your breath.

"I'm sorry!" you said, wiping a tear away. "I had to!"

"I'm gonna get you back for that one day," she said, finally getting ahold of herself, still clutching her stomach. "But I needed that. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I take my job as maid of honor very seriously," you told her, giving her a fake salute.

A sharp rap on the door made both of you swivel your heads towards the sound.

"They're linin' up out here," you heard Joel's low drawl filter through the door. You glanced at Maria and grinned.

"You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," she said, a nervous smile spreading across her face. You pulled her in for one quick hug before heading to the door. You cracked the door open and squeezed out, shutting it behind you quickly so nobody would get a sneak peek of the bride.

Joel was standing a couple feet away, fiddling with his cuffs, his back to the door. When he turned around to look at you, you could have sworn time stood still.

He was wearing a black suit and white shirt underneath, no tie per Maria's request, with the top two buttons of his shirt undone. He grinned as his eyes raked up and down your body, trying to express his appreciation over your dress, but you were still transfixed by the sight of him. You weren't sure if it was the paper boutonniere pinned to his lapel that made the difference, because you had seen him in a suit countless times in the past, or how he took the extra effort to trim his beard and style his hair, but something about the moment sent your mind into overdrive. Carrie's words from earlier in the day kept repeating in your head: why don't you ask him to marry you instead? And you were so caught up in the moment that you almost considered it. You wanted him looking like this for you. And you wanted to be nervously pacing the bathroom for him. All of a sudden, you wanted it so badly that you couldn't think about anything else.

"You look beautiful," Joel murmured, giving your cheek a quick kiss, completely oblivious. You managed to give him a shaky smile in return before curling your arm around his as he led you over to the back of the wedding party line. You stared straight ahead, vaguely listening to Jake and Carrie in front of you chatting quietly, your mind still reeling. Where did this come from? Why couldn't you have felt like this a few months ago? Why did you always have to complicate everything?

"She all set in there?" Seth asked you, his hand on the bathroom door. You nodded.

"Yep, she's ready. You can go in and get her once Tommy's gone."

You thought you had gotten yourself back on task but when Joel began to lead you down the aisle and your eyes locked with various friends and neighbors as you slowly made your way to the altar, your heart began thudding so loudly in your chest that you were sure everyone could hear it, even over the sound of Bill playing the piano to a familiar ballad you couldn't quiet name. Your grip on his arm tightened a fraction and you felt him glance over at you.

"You okay?" he whispered.

You didn't trust yourself to look at him, so you just gave a quick nod, staring straight ahead at Frank, the town's officiant. Fortunately, you were almost at the altar, so he let you go, giving you a chance to breathe. He went to stand next to Tommy, and you next to Carrie. As you turned to await Seth and Maria, your eyes found Joel's and you felt your throat tighten at the sight of him next to the beautiful archway. You might have been wrong, but you could have sworn you saw something in his eyes when he looked at you this time. His lips parted like he was suddenly short of breath and the grip he had on his left wrist tightened.

When Bill suddenly changed tunes and all the guests stood from their chairs, you dragged your eyes away from Joel, watching with a smile as Seth led Maria down the aisle. She looked a lot more confident now that she was making her way to Tommy, who was doing his best not to shed the tears that had been threatening to fall ever since he walked into the building.

You tried your best to listen to Frank, but your eyes kept drifting past Tommy and Maria and landing on Joel, who appeared to also be having a difficult time paying attention. He shifted his weight and he took a few deep breaths, but he could feel your eyes on him and he couldn't focus. He just prayed when the time came to hand over the rings, he wouldn't be completely distracted because the last thing he wanted to do was let his brother down on his big day.

Joel risked a glance in your direction when he noticed you lean down to fix Maria's dress. God, you looked so pretty. Standing there at the altar in that beautiful dress and your hair styled perfectly. If he tuned everyone out, he could pretend it was his wedding instead of Tommy's. That all these people were here to listen to the two of you profess your undying love for each other, to celebrate you committing yourselves to the other. He told you he would stop bringing it up, but something about what you said last night and now the way you looked at him today made him decide he was going to break that promise.

Luckily, he snapped out of it when he heard Frank begin to talk about the rings and what they signified, so he reached into his jacket pocket, fingers dipping into the silky material. He felt the smooth metal then paused when he realized there was only one ring in there. Wrong pocket.

He pulled his hand out and tried the other breast pocket. Sure enough, he pulled out both rings and handed them over to Tommy with a smile.

As Tommy and Maria exchanged vows, you did your best to focus on their words, putting Joel out of your mind for just a few minutes so you could be present for your best friend. But as you watched Maria slip the gold band around Tommy's finger, flashes of Joel wearing a similar ring clouded your vision and you had to look away. Fuck, what was wrong with you?

Your eyes snapped back at them when you heard the guests all clapping and cheering as they sealed the deal with their first kiss. You quickly joined in, hoping nobody noticed the delay, then leaned down to move the train of Maria's dress so she and Tommy could make their way down the aisle. You watched as they reached the end of the aisle, giving each other one more kiss and earning another chorus of cheers when suddenly you heard Joel's voice in your ear.

"We're next."

You looked up at him, eyes wide and surprised until you noticed his elbow jutted out towards you.

"Right, sorry," you said, looping your hand through his arm as you let him lead you down the aisle, hoping that you didn't look as red as you felt.

Tommy and Maria greeted guests after the ceremony in the small foyer where you had previously lined up to enter the hall. It was absolutely packed, and you quickly got lost in the shuffle. At one point, you saw Ellie with a couple of friends from school, and you had tried to make your way over to them, wanting to tell her what a great job she did on the decorations, but you had gotten stopped by one of her teachers and you lost sight of her.

"If you had the time next week, I would love to have a chat with you about Ellie's participation in class. It's nothing to be worried about, she's still acclimating, and I understand that, but she just needs to learn that there is a time and place to voice her opinions," Mrs. Baker was telling you.

"Of course, I can stop by Monday if that works?"

"That would be delightful, dear. She's a very bright girl. I just don't think the other children in class need to hear about Napoleon's explicit love letters to Joséphine."

You bit back a laugh as you forced a serious nod and furrowed your brow.

"I'll make sure to talk to her," you assured her. That seemed to finally end the conversation because Mrs. Baker smiled and turned to find her husband, right as you felt someone's familiar touch wrap around your waist from behind.

"Hey, you," you said, twisting around in Joel's arms to look up at him.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" he asked, his eyes dipping down to sneak a peek at your cleavage.

"You may have mentioned it," you said, draping your arms around his neck as you gazed up at him.

His eyes drifted around the packed room before looking back down at you.

"You wanna get outta here?"

You laughed, then stopped when you realized he was serious.

"Joel, we can't-"

"We got time before the reception," he said, dipping his mouth down to plant a kiss against your bare shoulder. "Look at this place. No one'll even notice we're gone."

"What did you have in mind?" you asked him, raising an eyebrow when he straightened back up. He shrugged and tried to hide his smirk.

"Thought maybe we could finish what we started last night in the shower," he said, leaning down to whisper in your ear. You felt a jolt at your center, and even though you knew you shouldn't, you caved.

"We can't be gone long," you warned him, and he nodded before leading you by the hand through the throngs of people towards the exit.

Joel was right. Nobody even noticed you were missing. The entire town was empty, save for a few kind souls who were keeping watch at the gates as you made your way quickly back home. You had barely twisted the lock on the door when Joel's mouth was already on your neck, pressing you up against the wood, his hands greedily roaming down your sides and around the back to squeeze your ass. You giggled against his mouth and managed to break away.

"So I wasn't ready last night, but tonight I am?" you teased, backing up towards the stairs as he stalked after you.

"Yep," was all he offered, and you grinned before grabbing his hand and hauling him as quickly as you could up the steps.

He crowded you into the bedroom, his hands trying and failing to figure out how to work your dress. You waved him off and took a step back.

"Let me take this off and hang it up before you ruin it," you said with a grin. Reluctantly, he nodded, his heated gaze watching you as you made your way backwards into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

You hurriedly removed your dress, leaving you in just a slip over your bra and panties, and hung it on the hanger you had left over the curtain rod earlier that day. You walked over to the mirror, staring at your reflection, trying to collect your thoughts.

Maybe you should do it. Maybe you should just ask him to marry you. Would that be so awful? Maybe Carrie was onto something.

You glanced around the bathroom, looking for something that could take the place of a ring. You saw an elastic hair tie of yours sitting next to the sink and you snatched it up, wrapping it around your wrist before taking a deep breath. You could do this.

Before you lost your nerve, you swung the door open, then gasped.

Joel was waiting for you, already on bended knee with a stunning diamond ring pinched between his fingers.

He was nervous. You could tell he was doing his best to hide it, but you saw how shakily his Adam's apple bobbed in his throat when he swallowed. His eyes were all soft and wide as they looked up at you from the ground, filled with such love and hope and vulnerability that it made you want to melt to the floor next to him.

"I know I said I wasn't gonna bring this up again," he started, his voice trembling, "but I can't help it. You just looked so beautiful standin' up there today and I couldn't stop thinkin' 'bout you and me."

Your hands slowly came up to cover your mouth as your brows pinched together, trying your hardest not to cry so you could commit the moment to memory.

"I know you said you were scared. I'm scared, too. But look at what we've been through. There's nothin' we can't do when we're together," he said, taking a moment to swallow nervously as he watched you flick a stray tear away from the corner of your eye.

"My life began when the world ended," he told you after taking a deep breath, finally saying the words he rehearsed in his head a thousand times. "I've never felt like this 'bout anybody. You make me whole. You make me want to be a better man. You make me laugh and you drive me crazy and I wouldn't have it any other way."

You giggled as more tears clouded your vision.

"If you marry me, I promise I'll keep you safe. I promise I'll love you til the end of time. And I promise I'll never ask for anythin' in return because you're all I want. You're all I need."

You couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They steadily streamed down your cheeks as you sunk to the floor in front of him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him before pulling back to look at him and nodded.

"Yes, I'll marry you."

A huge grin spread across his face when he leaned forward for another urgent kiss, his hand trembling as it gripped the back of your neck. He let you go just long enough to clumsily put the ring he was holding on your finger, and you had to blink the tears away so you could get a better look at it.

"I love it," you sniffled, looking up at him earnestly as you twisted it around your finger. "How long have you had it?"

"Months. I don't even know," he admitted, the adrenaline coursing through his veins making his voice shake. You grinned and looked down at the ring again, admiring how it sparkled even in the dim light of the bedroom.

"Oh, wait!" you said, suddenly remembering something. You pulled the hair tie off your wrist and wrapped it around his own. He looked down at it, confused, before looking back up at you.

"I was about to ask you to marry me but I didn't have a ring," you said, then giggled when you saw the expression on his face. "You beat me to it."

"It's perfect," he said, looking back down at his wrist before pulling you close again. "You're perfect."

He wrapped his arms around your middle and lifted you up from the floor, grunting when he straightened his knee, and walked you backwards towards the bed while his tongue invaded your mouth hungrily. You let out a surprised squeak when he gave you a slight push, causing you to fall back onto the mattress. You bit your lip and watched as he shrugged off his suitcoat before he began working on the buttons of his shirt.

"Wait! Don't let that get wrinkled, Maria will kill you," you warned him, and he rolled his eyes with a grin before stooping down to pick up the jacket. He draped it over the back of a chair and raised his eyebrows at you for approval.

"Thank you," you told him sweetly, but he just shook his head as he pulled off his shirt, giving it the same treatment as the jacket.

"We ain't even married yet and you're already bossin' me around," he joked, making you laugh.

"I hate to tell you this, but I've always bossed you around."

He chuckled as he shed the rest of his clothes before crawling on top of you, latching his mouth onto your neck while he ground his hips into yours, the sensation taking your breath away momentarily.

"That's alright, sweetheart. You can boss me around all you want, so long as I get to boss you around in here," he murmured against your skin while his hand drifted down your side and pulled your slip up and over your head. He sat back so he could kneel between your legs, his hands dancing over your skin as he took a moment to admire your body.

"Can't believe you're all mine," he said softly, almost like he was talking to himself. "I'm the luckiest man in the world, y'know that?" he asked, glancing back up from your body to meet your eyes.

"C'mere," was all you said, beckoning him towards you with your arms. He didn't need to be told twice. He fell forward, his forearms caging you in as you pulled him into another kiss, but this time it was more deliberate. Slower, yet still forceful as you tried to express all your feelings for him into one moment.

As much as you wanted to take your time, you knew you really shouldn't be gone too long from the festivities, so you reached down between your bodies to pull down your panties while your tongues still danced together. Without even looking, his hand instantly found the aching heat between your legs. You moaned into his mouth as his fingers dragged up and down your folds, your slick audible against his skin, making you blush.

"Fuck," he whispered as he pulled away from your lips. "So wet for me. You want me that bad?" he asked, lifting himself up so he could look down and watch as his fingers slowly disappeared inside your body, making you gasp his name and clutch his shoulders.

"No," you finally managed to croak out, making his movements pause inside you as he looked back up to meet your eyes. "I need you. Not want. Need."

The corner of his mouth tilted upwards and his fingers continued to stretch you open. He could feel you clench around him when he began to move his wrist faster, but then his thumb brushed up against your clit and you let out a filthy moan and he knew it wouldn't be much longer.

"C'mon, come for me. I wanna watch my future wife fall apart on my fingers like a good girl."

"Oh fuck, Joel," you whined, squeezing your eyes shut while your nails dug into his skin. With one more flick of his thumb he sent you hurtling over the edge, the wave of heat traveling up your whole body in a matter of seconds while you fought to catch your breath and stay present.

"Oh, you like that, huh?" he said with a chuckle. He slowly removed his fingers and you felt yourself twitch from the loss. He smeared your release over the tip of his cock while you struggled to come back down to earth underneath him. "You like it when I call you my future wife? Think you came just from hearin' that alone."

"Yes," you whispered, forcing your eyes open to look at him as he lined himself up against your opening.

"Good," he replied, dropping his hand to your hip as he pushed forward, entering you slowly, drawing out another moan from your throat. He had barely given you time to recover, but it didn't matter. "'Cause I like it, too," he groaned, falling forward when his hips met yours, bottoming out inside you.

"Y'feel so good," he whined against your shoulder, his arms squeezing you so tightly that you finally realized why he wanted to wait so long after your injuries. "Christ, missed this so much."

"Me, too," you whimpered into his hair, his clutch around you not letting up. "But Joel?"

"Hm?"

"I really need you to fuck me now."

He grinned against your shoulder and tilted his head up to look at you.

"Bossy," he said while simultaneously rolling his hips, making you sigh with relief.

"You love it," you moaned, eyes sliding shut as he continued to drag his cock in and out slowly, making sure you felt every inch while he yanked down your bra so he could wrap his lips around your nipple, flicking his tongue over it with an appreciative groan.

As your hands got lost in his hair, you felt your ring swivel around your finger, a gentle reminder that this was real. After everything you put him through, he still wanted you. He never gave up. He stood by your side and waited for you to be ready, no matter how badly it may have hurt him. You pulled him close as you blinked back tears, suddenly overcome with a wave of emotion.

"What's wrong?" he asked when he picked up on your sudden mood shift, his hips still rocking into you slowly, cock dragging heavily in and out, in and out. You wrapped your legs around his waist, hooking your ankles behind him, trying to get as close as possible.

"Nothing," you assured him, your hands sliding from his hair to grip the sides of his head, pulling him down for a searing kiss. "Just love you so much," you panted when he lifted his head a fraction to examine your face. Satisfied with your answer, his mouth crashed messily over yours again.

"Love you, too," he whispered into your mouth, your little gasps swallowing his words. "Love you so fuckin' much, can't wait to make you mine. Can't wait til I can call you my wife. Fuck, you make me so happy," he rambled as his hips began moving faster, snapping against you roughly, punching the air out of your lungs.

He felt you pulse around him, drawing him in as your teeth sunk into your lip. He adored how you responded to him, especially to his words. That it turned you on to hear him talk about marrying you instead of the visceral reaction you had a few months ago. Maybe it was time that did it, or maybe it was almost losing one another, but whatever it was, he didn't care.

You whispered his name and when he looked at you, with your eyes dark and your cheeks flushed, he felt like he was falling in love all over again.

"I'm here. I got you," he mumbled, and when your thighs tensed around his middle, squeezing him to the point where he could barely move, he knew. Two tears trickled down your cheeks when you came, his name sounding like a prayer on your lips, your nails breaking the skin on his sweaty back. The little bit of pain sent him tumbling over the edge, his brain almost not catching up in time to pull out as he spilled his release all over your stomach.

He rolled over with a groan, both of you struggling to catch your breath as you stared up at the ceiling.

"Do we really gotta go back?" Joel asked after a moment, and you giggled.

"Yes! It's your brother's wedding, Joel. How would you like it if he snuck off and never came back during our wedding?"

A stupid grin stretched across his face when he heard you say the words our wedding. It felt so surreal.

"I wouldn't care 'cause I'll sneak you away first. Don't know how I'll make it through the whole night, what was I thinkin'?" he joked, and you playfully slapped his shoulder, making him chuckle before standing up with a grunt. He pulled his boxers back on before heading to the bathroom to dampen a washcloth. As his fingers tested the temperature of the water, his eyes fell on the hair tie around his wrist and he smiled.

"Y'know I'm never takin' this off, right?" he asked, holding up his wrist as he walked back into the bedroom. You made a face and shook your head as he began to clean you up.

"Please tell me you're joking. That was such a dumb idea," you said, plucking at the hair tie as you spoke.

"Not dumb. I love it," he said sincerely, giving you a hand so you could stand up and begin to get dressed. "It's like my engagement ring."

"Men don't have engagement rings," you replied, rolling your eyes.

"Well, this man does," he said defiantly. You sighed, knowing it was a losing battle.

"Whatever makes you happy," you said before giving him one more quick kiss, then headed back to the bathroom to pull your dress from the hanger. Even though you teased him for it, you secretly loved that he wanted to wear the hair tie. Like he wanted the constant reminder already that he belonged to you, and you to him.

"Okay, I won't take it off, but I have to at least turn it around so people won't notice the diamond," you told Joel as you walked up the steps of the Tipsy Bison. "I am not going to steal attention on Maria's day. Those pregnancy hormones are insane, she might kill me."

"Fine," Joel replied before opening the door for you. "But startin' tomorrow, I'm tellin' everyone."

The two of you walked into the crowded bar, pushing your way through the throngs of people laughing and drinking and some dancing to the upbeat music being played over the loudspeaker. You spotted Tommy and Maria close to the bar, surrounded by neighbors giving them their well wishes. Tommy had his arm lovingly draped over Maria's shoulders with a whiskey in his other hand, and she had an unconscious hold on her stomach as she smiled and laughed at something Mrs. Potter said.

"Hey, there's Ellie," Joel said in your ear, drawing your eyes from the newlyweds. You smiled when you saw Ellie with another girl across the bar, sitting closely together on top of a table, their legs swinging over the edge as they spoke.

"Let's go see her, I wanted to tell her what a great job she did on the decorations."

You took Joel's hand and led him through the crowd, and just when you were a couple feet away from her, about to call out her name, she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against the other girl's lips. You stopped short, stunned, but your presence must have been noticeable because she pulled back immediately, eyes wide and cheeks red as her gaze darted between you and Joel, panic written all over her face. She slid down from the table quickly and you could see the hurt that flickered across the girl's face when Ellie tried to put distance between them.

"Uh, hey," she said nervously. "It's not what-"

"Ellie, relax," you replied, cutting her off. "It's okay." You looked back at Joel. He still looked surprised but he was doing his best to collect himself. "We didn't know you were seeing anybody," you said, turning back to her. Ellie looked over her shoulder at the other girl, who appeared to be incredibly uncomfortable. She held her hand out after a moment, and the girl gave her a shy smile before taking it and jumping down from the table to stand next to her.

"Guys, this is Dina," Ellie said proudly, pulling her closer. Dina smiled and gave a small wave. "Dina, these are..." she trailed off, not really sure what to call you. You were about to rescue her and just tell Dina your names when Ellie spoke first.

"These are my parents."

You whipped your head in her direction, completely taken aback. You felt Joel grip your hand tightly and without even looking at him, you knew he was having the same reaction as you.

"Is that... okay?" she asked after a moment, suddenly feeling vulnerable. You quickly nodded and fought back the tears that threatened to spill down your cheeks.

"Yeah," you said breathlessly after swallowing the lump in your throat. "Dina, it's so great to meet you," you said, turning to the dark haired girl with a smile.

You heard Joel say something similar, his voice also thick with emotion, but you barely registered what he said. Your head was spinning with the life changing events from the past hour, completely overwhelmed with how everything turned out. Just a few short months ago, you were afraid you were going to lose everything, and now here you were, surrounded by your family, about to start out on a new chapter of your lives together.

"There you are!" you heard Maria's voice ring out over the music. You moved aside, standing closer to Ellie and Dina so you could make room for Tommy and Maria.

"Sorry! I had... a problem with my dress. I had to run home for a minute," you said, the lie rolling off your lips. You could see the look in her eye. She wanted to question you, but considering Ellie was standing right there, she let it go.

"It's fine. All you missed was everyone doing shots while I stood there drinking lemonade, having just as much fun," she said sarcastically, and Tommy chuckled at her side.

"Speaking of - let's get you both somethin' to drink," Tommy said, nodding his head towards the bar.

"Can I have a drink?" Ellie asked. You and Joel turned your heads towards her and at the exact same time, giving her a resounding no!

She rolled her eyes but exchanged a mischievous look with Dina when suddenly, your own teenage years began flooding back to you and you realized there was a pretty good chance she would get that drink, anyway.

"C'mon," Maria said, reaching for your hand as Joel took a step closer to Tommy, the two of them discussing their very strong opinions about the music choice. "I wanna show you-"

She stopped speaking and stared at you like she saw a ghost. The smile melted from your face as your brows furrowed, suddenly concerned.

"Are you okay?" you asked, glancing down at her stomach, but then you felt her hand clench yours tighter, the pad of her finger rubbing up against the diamond you had twisted around towards your palm. Your eyes shot back up to hers and you felt your ears turning red.

"Maria-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Her voice was so loud, you were surprised it didn't draw more attention. You felt the heat spreading to your cheeks and you glanced nervously at Joel, who was still trying to figure out the reason for her outburst.

You shook your head and grabbed her arm with your other hand, trying to shush her and explain quietly.

"It's your day, I'm not saying anything, don't worry!" you began, trying to ease her mind, but a smile just broke out across her face and you finally realized her exclamation was not one of anger, but excitement.

She looked at you, her eyes filling with tears, before looking over at Joel and Tommy. Joel finally seemed to figure it out and he slowly grinned, but Tommy continued to look confused.

Maria yanked your hand up and twisted your ring around so the diamond was showing, and you heard Ellie gasp next to you.

"Holy shit!" Ellie said excitedly, while Maria squealed and jumped in place before pulling you into a tight hug.

"We're gonna be sisters," she said softly in your ear, and you giggled, holding her tightly against you as you swayed back and forth. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Tommy pull Joel into a hug and gave him a firm clap on the back, then Ellie bounced over to do the same.

"When?" Maria asked, finally pulling back to look at the ring again.

"Um, like an hour ago?" you guessed, your hand shaking as you held it out for her to inspect.

Suddenly, Ellie's arms were wrapped around you, and Maria dropped your hand so you could return the hug. You buried your face in Ellie's hair as you watched Maria give Joel a kiss on the cheek.

"Congrats," Ellie said when she pulled away.

"Yeah, congrats!" Dina added, and you laughed as you thanked them both.

"I knew it when I saw the way Joel looked at you that very first day in that meeting," Tommy said, and you broke away from Ellie to give him a hug.

"God, that was ages ago," you said with a laugh, but he just shook his head.

"Yeah, but I know my brother. He don't fall too easy, and you knocked him on his ass in a minute," Tommy said, pulling back with a kiss on your cheek.

Tommy insisted the good news called for shots, so he led you and Joel up to the bar and ordered three shots of tequila. While you waited, you felt Joel's hand around your waist and his lips against your ear.

"Is it bad that I already wanna take you back home?"

You grinned and turned around in his arms.

"We just got here," you said, tugging playfully at the lapels on his jacket. He gave you a look that made your knees weak and you felt your resolve crumbling. "Just a few dances and maybe we can sneak away."

He grinned, pleased with the compromise as Tommy held out the shot glasses to you both.

The three of you clinked your glasses together before downing the shots, wincing as the alcohol burned your throat on the way down.

Seth's voice shouted over the crowd that it was time for the first dance. You watched, Joel's arms wrapped around you from behind, as Tommy led Maria to the middle of the dance floor while a Johnny Cash song played over the loudspeakers. After a minute, Tommy and Maria waved their arms out to the crowd, encouraging couples to join them.

"Wanna dance?" Joel asked, his breath tickling your neck. You nodded and his arms dropped from your waist as you led him to the dance floor.

With one hand around the back of his neck and the other firmly in his grip, he led you slowly, his eyes drinking you in as you gazed up at him lovingly.

After everything you had been through, everything you both endured, you were exactly where you were meant to be: right in his arms. His strong, capable arms that would move mountains for you. That have done unspeakable acts to save you. That have cradled you and cared for you and brought you back to life, in more ways than one.

And as he held you close, you wondered how on earth you could ever have doubted what you have. Because Joel was right: there was nothing you couldn't do, as long as you were together.

A/N: I know I will probably get questions about it so I will just leave this here: I purposely left the option for children open ended. You can choose your own adventure ❤️

Tag List @nana90azevedo @ninaminaromina @untamedheart81 @taz-97 @nastiasnow @amyispxnk @plz-be-solo @iloveramensm @caitlynsixxx @anoverwhelmingdin @harriedandharassed @jessthebaker @txtattoostark @merz-8 @sarahhxx03 @oscarissac2099 @motherjoel @silas-222 @b3l1nd5 @rocket-raccoon-silvie @missladym1981 @angie2274 @maried01 @ashleyfilm @alltheotps @mybworlds @d1lf-loverrr

315 notes · View notes

wheresarizona · 8 months

Text

Learning to Live Part 23

summary: Javier is living the fucking dream and has never been happier with the woman he planned to marry—until the mistakes of his past are brought to light, and his world comes crashing down.

rating: E (18+! Age gap (about ten years), Soft Javier Peña, Protective Javier Peña, Angry Javier Peña, explicit smut, unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), creampie, oral sex (m receiving), masturbating (f), deepthroating, spanking, dirty talk (he talks you through touching yourself), praise kink, breeding kink, spit mention, mentions of assplay, canon typical violence (Javier punches someone), angst, Chucho being the best dad, Javier being cute with baby animals, Javier saying very romantic things during sex)

pairing: Javier Peña/f!reader

word count: 12.1k+

a/n: I’m just going to say I’m sorry. This will be part 1 of 2 for the Colombia arc. This chapter is all in Javi’s POV, and the next will be in reader’s. Thank you to @juletheghoul for betaing!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

Prev - Next - Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist

The fifth of November landed on a Thursday this year, and the temperatures were finally beginning to come down—just not enough for Javier to turn off the air conditioning in his truck or wear his suit jacket on his drive, the navy blue garment hanging over the back of the middle seat with his burgundy-colored tie.

The news radio station was a low chatter while he had his left palm gripping the steering wheel, the other holding up his Nokia cellphone to his ear, waiting for the other person to pick up.

Ring.

“Murphy,” his old partner, Steve, answered.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Hey, Jav—it’s earlier than you usually call. Are you off work already?” For the other man, it was a little after five o’clock his time, and from the sound of it, he was on the road heading home to his wife and kids.

Javier’s hand squeezed so tightly on the wheel it made the leather creak at imagining getting to do the same, his heart picking up in pace and a smile curling up on his lips that someday he would.

On Thursdays, he called Steve when he got off work—he did it when he worked for his dad, talking to his best friend while having a cold beer in the kitchen or cooling off from the hot day on the couch in the living room, always checking up on how Steve, Connie, and their three kids were doing. Once he started dating the woman who’d be his wife, the phone calls started taking place on his drive from the ranch to her apartment, then from his job at the Sheriff’s office to their shared apartment.

“Yeah,” he answered. “I had something to do and couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of there. I spent my whole fucking day prepping for that stupid fucking meeting tomorrow.”

The one with the DEA.

The one with the DEA that he didn’t want to have.

Communication with them over the phone was fine because it was easy to get out of the calls—feigning he had meetings to attend, or another call coming through from his boss, or he just didn’t answer and let it go to voicemail since he recognized the numbers.

And maybe there might have been a time or three when he just hung up on them simply out of annoyance.

But tomorrow was in person, and he had no choice except to sit through the asshole of an agent questioning every little fucking thing about the busts the narcotics unit made and having Javier try to explain why they still hadn’t found out how the drugs were getting smuggled into their region. He didn’t understand why he was getting grilled about it when there were multiple agencies in the area, including the fucking DEA, trying to figure it out. He knew this meeting would put the irritating shit he sat through as attaché in Colombia to shame.

“I still can’t believe he’s asking so many goddamn questions,” Steve replied. “You’ve been handing him busts on a silver platter, and if I were him, I’d be thanking you, not giving you so much shit.”

Javier sighed. “Yeah, you’d fucking think. Why does this guy even give a fuck about me?”

He could hear the smile in his friend’s voice. “Like I told you the first time you called about this asshole: it's his first big assignment, and The Javier-fuckin’-Peña is one of his contacts—” Javier scoffed. “He’s just trying too fucking hard and is jealous of all the arrests you’ve made. Plus, you work for a law enforcement agency, Javi. The DEA has relationships with law enforcement agencies, and yours is smack dab on the border of a country with a history of smuggling, so you’re gonna be popular whether you like it or not.”

“I fuckin’ hate it,” he grumbled.

Steve chuckled. “I know, but suck it up, and tomorrow, scare the kid shitless with that mean ol’ glare of yours so he’ll leave you the fuck alone.”

His eyebrows rose, nodding his head.

“That’s definitely an idea...”

His friend laughed.

“I’m serious,” Javier said. “He wouldn’t take the fucking hint when I hung up on him. I could just… scare him a little.” Frowning, he whispered, “Mi Cielito can’t know.”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Steve chuckled. “Things still good with you guys?”

The thought of her had him going soft, picturing her perfectly in his mind.

He smiled. “Things are going so fucking good.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Jav. She seems like a great girl.”

Taking a deep breath, he slowly let it out. “She’s fucking amazing, man—perfect, beautiful, wonderful. I love her so much and can’t wait to marry her.”

“Then propose to her already.” That made Javier frown. “You’ve known for months now that she’s the one, and you’re holding off, for what? A future date, when you can just do what you really wanna fucking do and marry her whenever you want. You’re not beholden to that date, Javi. Do what makes you happy.”

“When did you become a fucking motivational speaker?”

“When I became a dad—gotta give fatherly advice and pep talks. When you have a kid, you’ll become one, too.”

That made him smile again, thinking of his conversations with his father and how the older man always had wisdom to bestow upon him or knew exactly what to say. It was the same with his mom, almost as if once you became a parent, a plethora of knowledge was imparted on you to pass on to your child when, in actuality, it was just your life experience you were using to make sure your kid succeeded in life as best they could.

“I guess I will,” he replied. “Speaking of kids. How are mis sobrinos (niece and nephews)?”

The Murphys had three children.

Olivia was their eldest, who they adopted as a baby nine years ago in Colombia while Steve was working down there. Steve Jr., or Stevie, was three and their only biological child. Nathaniel, Nate for short, was just adopted the prior year and had turned one not too long ago.

Their kids (who could speak) called Javier ‘tío Javi,’ and he loved them all like they were his blood, sending presents on every birthday and Christmas that he double-checked with Connie they’d enjoy. Before the Thursday phone calls, it was a random day of the week calls when Javier had time while in the middle of trying to take down the Cali cartel, and they were a nice reprieve from the stress, especially when Olivia excitedly told him about her school day.

He spent a lot of time with them when he first got back to the States and even got to meet their new baby, but it’s been months since his last visit.

“They’re good. Pretty sure Olivia and Stevie are still on sugar highs from all the candy they got on Halloween.” That was the previous Sunday.

“What’d they dress up as?”

“Olivia was some princess from a cartoon movie with a beast, and she wore a pretty yellow dress—”

“Belle,” he interrupted. “She was Belle from Beauty and the Beast.”

“Yeah! That’s it. Wait. Why do you know that?”

“Lucky guess—what were Stevie and Nate?”

“Stevie was some blue spotted dog, and Nate was a lion.”

Javier was frowning.

He never celebrated Halloween growing up since Día de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) overshadowed it, but if it was something his future wife wanted to do with their kids, he’d like them to have some kind of theme for their costumes… If he could get them to.

“I can’t wait to see the pictures,” he said, which was true. He kept all of the letters Connie sent with photos of their family while he’d been in Colombia and after he returned home. His girlfriend suggested putting them in an album after he’d taken her to the ranch and pulled out the small box containing the collection—so they got one that now lived on the bookshelf in their living room, hanging some of the pictures on their walls.

“Bring your girlfriend over here for Thanksgiving. We’d love to have you both.”

“Thanks for the offer, but we’ve got plans with my family.”

All his family members who lived in Laredo were getting together at his tía María’s, who had the biggest house, a good-sized patio space, and backyard to accommodate the dozens of adults and children who’d be in attendance to eat. He and Cielito would be spending the night before and morning of making pies and side dishes at the request of his three tías.

“Alright. But remember, our door is always open, and we’re dying to meet the woman that’s gonna make an honest man out of you.”

He snorted.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re thinking sometime next month.”

“Any time is fine.”

“You want us to visit that bad?”

“Since the moment she found out you had a girlfriend, Connie has been on my ass about getting you to bring her here. For the love of god, Javier, please come visit us so she’ll leave me the fuck alone.”

“I’ll figure something out.”

“Thank you. Any time, Javi.”

“Probably right before my birthday.”

“Any time, just get your ass over here.”

“Will do.”

“I’m home, so I’ll talk to you later.”

“Give Connie and the kids my love.”

“Of course. Tell the future Mrs. Javier Peña we’re all excited to meet her.”

Javier smiled. “I will.”

“Bye, you asshole.”

“Adiós, pendejo (Goodbye, asshole).”

Clicking the end call button, he set the phone in the seat next to him and turned back up the radio, the top news stories being all about the latest midterm elections.

Minutes later, gravel crackled and popped under the truck tires as he drove down the long driveway past his father’s house to the back, parking in the empty spot beside his dad’s rig that, since he’d started driving, had always unofficially been his.

His door squealed when he opened it, his feet hitting the ground as he got out of his seat with his aviators sitting on the bridge of his nose, his phone put back in his pocket—the first few buttons of his white dress shirt were undone, taking a second to roll the sleeves up his forearms to make him more comfortable. Lifting his left wrist, his eyes narrowed to get a better read of the silver watch face, seeing he only had an hour before his future wife would be expecting him home, and by now, his family out here should’ve returned from checking on the herd of cattle; his father would either be in the small office across from the house doing paperwork or shirking his responsibilities elsewhere in the vicinity.

Javier went with his gut on where to find Chucho, the truck door slamming shut, the small rocks crunching under his steps as he made his way around the back of the vehicle heading toward the barns.

Passing the large paddock, all the horses, including his own, Sombra, and his tío’s, Enrique the Asshole, were stretching their legs and roaming around. His attention moved ahead to his primo (cousin) Diego, coming out of the new barn, wheeling a wheelbarrow full of hay his way.

The younger of his uncle’s sons got the Peña genes—brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin. The oldest, Sebastián, had a striking resemblance to his tío but was light-skinned and green-eyed like his Spanish mother. Their baby sister, Alma, and tío Ángel’s pride and joy was a mix of her parents—her mother’s beauty and eyes with her father’s tan skin and brown hair.

A beaming smile appeared on Diego’s face when he spotted Javier.

“¿Qué tal, Javi (What’s up, Javi)?” he asked as he approached. “¿Dónde está tu esposa (Where is your wife)?” he asked, looking around for Cielito and making Javier grin.

“Mi futura esposa está en nuestra casa (My future wife is at home). Estoy aquí para ver a mi papá (I’m here to see my dad). Necesito hablar con él (I need to talk to him).”

“Oh, él está allí en el granero de ganado (Oh, he’s over at the cattle barn),” he said, pointing in the direction with his thumb.

That was just what Javier suspected after something his dad said the previous day.

“Gracias, primo (Thank you, cousin). Tengo prisa (I’m in a hurry). Te veré el domingo en casa de tía María (I will see you Sunday at aunt Maria’s). ¡Adiós (Bye)!”

“¡Hasta luego (See you later)!”

His strides were long as he made his way toward the older barn, its wooden exterior wearing a new coat of bright red paint and the trim snow white. His father was standing at the pen’s fence, his straw cowboy hat shielding the sun’s rays as usual, holding a small plastic bucket in one of his hands, the other feeding carrots to the animals. Javier smiled that his assumption of what Chucho would be doing was correct as he approached, hearing his dad softly cooing words in Spanish.

“Stop spoiling mis hijas (my daughters),” Javier said, getting closer. At the sound of his voice, the two calves came bounding toward him on the other side of the fence, shoving their heads between the metal bars at him. He chuckled, crouching as he gave Daphne and Velma pets, their hair soft under his palms. “Hola, mis preciosas (Hello, my lovelies),” his tone was sweet. “Tan lindas que estan (You two are so cute). ¡Están creciendo tanto (You’re growing so much)! ¿Me extrañaron (Did you miss me)?”

At dinner the night before, Chucho had told them he was planning on bringing the girls in for a long weekend since they weren’t treated like the rest of the herd and didn’t live out on the pastures with them 24/7. His dad sometimes had them stay in the pen at the barn or hang out in his backyard. They were kept more like pets than cattle and spoiled as such.

He could hear his father’s footsteps coming near.

“I will spoil mis nietas bovinas (my bovine granddaughters) as much as I like since you haven’t given me any human ones to spoil… yet,” Chucho replied, holding the bucket toward him.

Javier groaned, this being a constant conversation they were having. “I know, I know, you’re not getting any younger—it’s gonna happen.” He took a couple of long orange carrots and started feeding them to the girls, who were happily munching away. “Like I’ve told you before. There’s just some shit we gotta take care of first, and fuck, we’ll need to buy a house.” The thought of hunting for one sounded like a real pain in the ass, especially with everything they’d want it to have.

“Javi?”

His head tilted up to meet his dad’s eyes. “Yeah?”

“Have you guys thought about building a house?”

Javier’s eyebrows dipped together.

They’d discussed what their future home would need—a big backyard for garden space, a spacious living room, and a good-sized kitchen. They also planned to move into a house around the summer of the following year. If they were to build, though, it would be to their specifications. He could give his future wife the kitchen of her dreams, a big sunroom for her plants, and a soundproofed master suite.

“We haven’t…” he answered slowly. “We’d have to find land, an architect, contractor, whatever fucking else is needed to build a house.”

“The land is taken care of,” Chucho said with a wave of his free hand like it was no big deal.

Javier knew he had to look confused. “What?”

Daphne and Velma had finished eating, and he was back to petting them.

His dad smiled. “I’ve got all this land, Mijo.” He held out his arms. “Be my next-door neighbor, or live up the road. Don’t stress yourselves out over finding the perfect house when you can just build it—and with us living so close together, it’ll be easy for you to bring mis nietos humanos (my human grandchildren) over all the time.”

Javier’s eyebrow arched. “How do you know we’re gonna have more than one kid?”

He hoped they would and wanted as many children with her as she was willing to have.

There was a sad smile on Chucho’s face. “Because you’ve always wanted to be a father, Javi,” he answered, and Javier’s heart clenched hard. “That whole mess all those years ago before you left? You didn’t want to marry her, and I don’t blame you. She told you she was pregnant, and you just wanted to do what was best for your unborn baby—they were your main priority, and you were willing to do anything for them. Yes, you were scared about becoming a dad, but we could see you were excited, too, and how much you loved that child you thought existed.” His dad put a comforting palm on his shoulder. “You were ready to devote yourself to being the best father to them.” Javier’s eyes were watering because it was true he always wanted to be a dad, and he didn’t think anyone knew. “I know her lie hurt you deeply, Mijo, and also gave you relief, but it’s such a good thing you didn’t end up marrying her because look at where you’re at now.” The older man was softly smiling now. “You found the right woman who truly loves you, and your mother would’ve loved—I sure do, and when you hold your child for the first time, you will fall in love with them immediately and want ten more,” he chuckled.

Javier laughed through the tears, taking off his sunglasses to wipe at his eyes with the back of his arm before putting them back on.

“Also,” Chucho continued, “I know you’ll have more than one because the two of you can’t be left alone for more than five minutes—it’s surprising she hasn’t fallen pregnant yet.”

“She has good birth control.”

Too good, in Javier’s opinion.

He started to stand up, involuntarily grunting from the ache in his knees and lower back.

His dad’s eyebrows rose, nodding his head. “Well, that explains things. You were just here yesterday. I wasn’t expecting to see you again until Sunday. Something on your mind, Mijo?”

Therapy had been a fucking godsend, and Javier no longer constantly worried about shit, feeling like he was finally in control of his thoughts and emotions. Still, sometimes, he just wanted to drink a beer with his dad and talk about what was on his mind.

Javier smiled cheekily. “More like someone on my mind.”

Chucho laughed. “She’s always on your mind!”

“Yeah, she is, but, uh—” He scratched at the back of his head. “—I needed to talk to you about something alone…”

The elder Peña sobered up immediately, putting a hand out to squeeze his arm. “Is everything okay, Javi?”

Javier gave him a smile. “Everything’s fucking amazing—especially with her, and that’s why I’m out here…”

His father’s face lit up with a huge grin as the realization dawned on him. “¡No puedo esperar para decírselo a tu mamá (I can’t wait to tell your mom)! Vamos a la casa y me lo puedes contar todo (Let’s go to the house, and you can tell me everything).”

On the drive to their apartment, there was a lot to think about between the meeting the next day and plans for the future. The whole building a house was a great idea that he wanted to run by Cielito to see what she thought about it, then there was the other thing he needed to figure out…

Arriving home at his usual time, it wasn’t a surprise her car was already parked in her spot when he pulled up since she was usually off a little earlier than him. His truck took the space beside hers, towering over her tiny Honda that Javier had to contort his body in order to drive when he took it every weekend to fill the gas tank.

Before leaving the ranch, he washed his hands and hoped his cologne masked any kind of animal smells, not wanting her to know where he’d been—if she happened to ask, he’d tell her the truth of his whereabouts because there was no reason to lie.

Walking to the apartment, his suit jacket and tie were dangling over his arm, the other hand holding his keys that jingled as he unlocked the front door. Once inside, he shut the door and locked it, tossing his ring of keys into the large bowl on the long, narrow console table in the entryway, toeing off his Chelsea boots in front of the shoe rack on the floor beside it.

His body completely relaxed, a long, relieved sigh leaving him at finally being home.

The familiar smell of the apartment calmed him—he was safe here, he was loved.

“Cielito?” he called, turning toward the rest of the room and immediately jumping in his skin at her standing right there in front of him. “Jesus Christ,” Javier breathed, his heart pounding in his chest, pressing his hand over it.

She wore a deep purple oversized t-shirt that had faded and thinned over being washed and worn so many times, her legs bare beneath it.

A laugh sputtered from her lips. “I’m sorry for spooking you,” she said, moving forward to wrap her arms around his middle. He hugged her back with his free arm, a smile turning up on his mouth. “This was supposed to be horny, not scary.”

“How is you scaring the shit out of me supposed to be horny?” he asked, kissing her forehead.

Pulling back, there was a mischievous grin on her face. “Give me your jacket and tie.” He handed both over, watching as she turned to toss them on the couch behind her. When her attention returned to him, she said, “Okay, so you carrying your jacket kinda threw off my groove. Now, pretend you just took off your shoes and are super happy to be home.”

“I did just take off my boots, and I am happy to be home…” he replied with knitted brows.

“Yes, I know, but turn this way—” She made him face the shoes again. “—Okay,” she said, taking steps away from him. He turned his head toward her. “No! Don’t look at me yet!” Her outburst startled him, making him look forward once more.

“Mi amor (my love), what are you doing?” he asked.

“You’ll see, and you’re gonna love it. Trust me.”

“I trust you, Cielito. I trust you more than anyone else.”

And he did.

There wasn’t anyone else he trusted more or with whom he felt comfortable being genuinely vulnerable. Yes, he still hadn’t told her about Colombia, but he just wasn’t ready to open all of the old wounds and muddy her with the blood of all of the awful shit he’d seen and done—honestly, he didn’t want to think about any of it or bring her into that world, he liked keeping her separate from it all.

She was heaven. Colombia had been hell.

So, he was biding his time.

“I know, you big cutie,” she said. “Okay, now turn.”

He was beyond confused and unsure what was going on, but she was excited, so he was more than willing to go along with it, knowing she’d make whatever it was good.

Turning in place toward her, he was met with a look of determination on her face as she came at him quickly, his eyes widening when she grabbed the open collar of his dress shirt, shoving him back against the front door, smashing her mouth against his as she kissed him hard.

Smiling into her lips, one of his arms pulled her close, the other hand going lower to grab a handful of her ass, groaning when he found no underwear.

She was right. He definitely loved this.

Blood rushed to his groin, his cock twitching when she slipped her tongue into his mouth to tangle with his own. Her hand slithered down the tight space of their bodies to rub over his hardening length, making him moan when she nipped at his bottom lip, arousal igniting in his belly.

Her mouth was a hair's breadth away from his as she breathily whispered, “I wanna suck your dick. Can I, Javi? Can I choke on this big cock?” She ended the question by lightly squeezing it in its half-hard state.

“You can do whatever the fuck you want to me,” he answered huskily, feeling her smile when she kissed him.

Both of his hands were now under the hem of her shirt, groping her bare backside.

“You don’t know what you’re offering when you say that,” she murmured into his lips.

“Yes, I do,” came his muffled answer. “Anything. You love my ass as much as I love yours.” He squeezed her asscheeks in his big palms.

The revelation he was into assplay was surprising, to say the least. Now in the right circumstances, he loved when she used her fingers while going down on him, or there was that one time she experimented with her mouth, and he about lost his damn mind.

“I do love your ass and you, but I didn’t bring lube.”

He smiled. “Later then, and I love you, too,” he replied, kissing her harder.

He deepened the kiss, their tongues moving together in a practiced dance while she made sounds in the back of her throat that went straight to his cock, loving how her scent was enveloping him—knowing he’d smell her all over him by the time they were done, it permeating his clothes, his hair, and his skin, hating that he’d have to wash it all away later.

When her lips left his to take a breath, the plush softness of them met his chin, then her teeth lightly nibbled, making him smile while both of her hands went to the front of his pants—his belt clinked as she expertly undid it, popping open the button of his slacks, unzipping them, his dick now completely hard.

“You’ve been on my mind all day,” she said in that sultry tone she knew drove him wild, unable to keep from giving her a quick kiss.

“What were you thinking about, Cielito?”

She looked up at him under her lashes, crookedly smiling.

“Sucking this beautiful dick,” she answered, stroking it over his pants, the sensation making his breath hitch in his throat.

His tongue wet his bottom lip, wanting nothing more than her mouth on him. “What else, baby?”

“Well, we haven’t fooled around since Monday—“ Fuck, had it really been since he tied up her hands and fucked her in the kitchen? “—because you had to work late Tuesday, and we went to your dad’s last night.” Her free hand went up his chest. “So I’m really in the mood for you to make me feel it tomorrow.” She bit her lower lip.

“I can do that,” he replied. He covered her hand on his cock with his own. “This is yours, and you can have it any fucking way you want it, mi amor (my love).”

Her mouth collided with his, saying as she kissed him, “God, you’re so hot—I love you so fucking much.”

It made him smile. “I love you, too.”

One last kiss, and she was crouching in front of him, yanking the navy blue material down his thighs, leaving his dick confined by his white boxer briefs. She rubbed him over them, his chin dropping to watch as she mouthed at his hard length over the cotton, the warmth of her mouth causing his own to go slack and his skin to heat.

Her hands went up his thighs, the color of her neatly trimmed nails catching his attention.

His words came out rougher and deeper, a smile on his lips as he picked up her hand and inspected it, “You’re wearing the nail polish I picked out.” It was bright cherry red, and he’d chosen it the prior day at the drugstore before they’d gone out to the ranch, the cheesy name on the cap of the bottle reading, ‘Not Red-y for Bed.’ “It looks fucking gorgeous on you, baby,” he continued, swiping his thumb over the tops of her fingers.

She grinned up at him. “Thanks. My future husband has excellent taste,” she replied with a wink. “Now stop distracting me from sucking your dick.”

“Yes, mi reina (my queen),” he said, letting her palm go and watching as her beautiful fingers pulled down his underwear, his cock springing free. Moving onto her knees, he was glad they were cushioned by the soft, thick runner rug they’d invested in, her spitting in her palm and taking him in hand, his mouth falling open at the first stroke.

He started working open the buttons of his shirt, keeping his eyes on her as she languidly jerked him, getting glimpses of her red nails when she’d twist on the upstroke, and fuck, they looked good wrapped around his dick.

She took him into her mouth, and Javier forgot how to breathe.

There was only one button left to undo on his dress shirt, but that didn’t matter with her gaze on him, watching as she hummed in enjoyment, taking him further and further into her hot, wet heat. Her other hand slipped between her legs, and his cock twitched that she was touching herself.

“Fuck, hermosa (beautiful),” he rasped, his hand resting on the back of her head. Javier gulped hard at the pleasure. “It feels so fucking good, Cielito—you’re so fucking beautiful playing with your pretty little pussy while my dick is in your mouth. You gonna make yourself come, baby? Can you do that for me? Come all over those gorgeous fingers.”

She moaned while continuing to blow him, doing this swirly thing with her tongue around the tip and on the underside of his cock that had him groaning loudly. His hips were rocking, knowing she was on her way to turning him into an absolute mess.

Her eyes were watching him through her lashes, all heavy-lidded and dark, the arousal evident in her gaze while her lips stretched around his dick and her head bobbed, twirling her tongue around the head on each upstroke. Her hand worked what couldn’t fit, the other moving at the apex of her thighs.

“Are you rubbing your clit?” he roughly asked. “Does it get you off sucking my cock? You like this, don’t you? You like getting yourself off while choking on it.”

That made her moan again, and he could see on her face how much she was enjoying this.

Truth be told, before her, Javier didn’t really care for blow jobs—not that he didn’t like them, he loved them; the problem was he could tell when his partner wasn’t into it, and there was no bigger turn-off than someone doing something they didn’t want to do.

But Cielito was different.

He was pretty fucking sure she had some kind of addiction to sucking his dick with how often she wanted to do it, and the thing was, every, single, time, he could tell she was having the best time—he had never seen someone enjoy blowing him more.

Javier loved it when she wanted to go down on him, her enthusiasm making it incredible.

All of a sudden, her mouth came off him, a string of spit keeping them connected as her eyes closed, and he knew that look on her face. Her free hand left him to pluck at her pebbled nipple through her shirt.

“Are you gonna come for me?” he asked, curling his fist around his wet cock, slowly jacking off as he watched. “You gonna be my good fucking girl and come for me?”

“Yes,” she moaned, nodding. “So close.”

“I was gonna get down there and eat you out—make you come on my fingers and tongue, but I think you’d like it better if I didn’t loosen you up before I got my dick inside you. Isn’t that right, baby?” Her breath stuttered, a sheen of sweat coating her forehead. “It’s been three fucking days, and you want to feel how big I am—how much I stretch you open.” Soft sounds were spilling from her lips that were getting louder. “You’re my dirty fucking girl and want to feel me all day tomorrow while you’re at work.” He could tell she was close. “I bet you’ll want me to fuck you again tonight in bed and tomorrow before work so you’re stuffed full of my come—”

Her body tensed up, coming with a gasp of his name, and he smiled.

“There it is,” he said. “Such a good girl—you did so good for me, mi amor (my love). God, you’re amazing. It’s fucking sexy how hungry you are for my dick.”

Her eyes blinked open, smiling dreamily at him. “Because it’s perfect,” she replied. “And you’re perfect—you make the best noises when I go down on you, and you never try to fuck my face without asking or are ever pushy.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “I honestly don’t think you’ve ever asked me for a BJ, which is shocking.”

He was smiling. “I’ve never needed to, and I wouldn’t.”

Her brow arched. “You wouldn’t ask for a blow job?”

“I only want one if it’s something you want to do—otherwise, I’d rather just fuck or eat your pussy,” he answered with a shrug.

“I am living the fucking dream. Now move your hand; I wanna feel you in my throat.”

He chuckled, doing as she said, and was not at all surprised when her lips wrapped around his cock. She bobbed her head, working him inch by inch into her mouth until she swallowed him down into her throat, taking him all the way to the root, Javier groaning.

Those bright red nails were digging into his thighs, the knot in his belly was beginning to wind tighter, and his cock pulsing in the tight space. Sweat coated his brow, a flush crawling up his chest and neck, his heart pounding in his chest.

Her eyes were on his, tears gathering at the edges, saliva escaping at the sides of her mouth, and he thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“My good fucking girl,” he praised, feeling where he was bulging in her throat. “Such a good fucking girl taking my dick down your throat—god, I love you so much.”

She gurgled around him like she was replying, ‘I love you, too,’ then her head was coming up, sputtering as she coughed.

“You okay?” he asked.

She gave him a thumbs up, finally answering, “Yeah.” Saliva was coating her chin and around her lips while she breathed hard.

His thumb slid along her bottom lip as he smiled. “Hermosa (Beautiful),” he said.

“Messy,” she corrected.

“Still beautiful.”

Playfully, she rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’m not done.”

Not wasting another second, she took the tip back into her mouth, circling her tongue around the sensitive ridges. Javier swallowed thickly, feeling the pleasure build inside him, entranced with her stroking him again, the flash of red as her hand easily glided up and down his spit-slicked shaft. When her other hand started lightly massaging his balls, his cock jerked, a shaky breath leaving his lips.

He didn’t want to come like this.

Quickly, he got the last button on his shirt undone, shrugging it off and tossing it toward the couch, it landing on the floor.

“Baby?” he said, her eyes immediately meeting his while pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses down his shaft.

“Hmm?” She hummed.

“Don’t make me come.”

The power was in her hands.

“You close?” she asked before being fucking mean and dipping her head low to lick at his sack.

“Fuck,” he moaned. His throat bobbed as he thickly swallowed, trying to control his breathing and the tightening in his gut, not wanting to blow his load so soon. There was no other choice but to gently push at her shoulder. “Stop,” he gasped, and she did immediately, hands and mouth coming off him. “Thank you,” he panted, swiping at the sweat on his forehead with his arm. She shuffled back on her knees, looking up at him. “Do you want me to eat your pussy or give you my dick?” he asked. He was fine with either and was pretty sure she was going to choose—

“Dick,” she answered immediately.

He smirked. “Fucking knew it.” His thumbs went into the waistband of his boxer briefs, shoving them and his slacks down to his ankles before peeling off his socks. Groaning, he straightened and held out his hands to her, saying, “Come on, mi futura esposa (my future wife). You deserve better than getting fucked on the floor.”

She accepted his help, Javier grunting as he pulled her up to stand in front of him.

“Fucking on the floor is hot, though,” she pouted.

“Sometimes,” he said, grabbing her hips and turning her the other way. “Most of the time, it just fucks up my back and knees, and I don’t want to deal with that shit tomorrow. Let’s go.” He smacked both of her asscheeks to get her to start moving, earning a giggle as he followed her to the bedroom.

Their first big purchase as a couple was upgrading the queen-sized bed she’d already had to a king. They’d gotten a sturdy frame that Javier tweaked to ensure there’d be no squeaking and a white metal headboard that was arched with thin vertical slats for obvious reasons, precautions made so it wouldn’t bang against the wall—yes, he did spend an entire Saturday morning sex-proofing their new bed for the sake of their elderly next door neighbor who glared at him every time they crossed paths.

Late afternoon sunlight was slipping through the cracks in the closed blinds and illuminating the blue linen curtains covering them in their shared room. The only lights on were both bedside lamps—her watch, a paperback, alarm clock, and a corded telephone accompanying hers; a small framed picture of them kissing with fireworks going off above their heads that his dad took at the town’s Fourth of July event, a book with his extra pair of reading glasses on top of it, and his alarm clock beside his.

His attention was on her ass as she crawled up onto the bed, his knees sinking into the mattress when he followed. Once she was far enough up the bed, he pounced, gripping handfuls of her backside and tackling her to lay flat on her stomach, making her laugh when he sunk his teeth into her plump flesh. It made him smile, placing a loud, smacking kiss over the indents of his teeth before he sat up and helped her flip onto her back, his hips nestling in the space between her thighs.

Their noses were almost touching, his arm beside her head holding him up while his other hand rubbed up and down her belly over her shirt.

“Hi,” he said.

She smiled, sliding her fingers into the hair at the back of his head, making him shiver. “Hi, babe. I love how we get so horny we forget to greet each other.” She quickly pecked him on the lips.

“Or you decide to scare the shit out of me.”

“I really didn’t mean to. I was just trying to channel my inner Javi.”

His eyebrows dipped together.

“What?”

“You know, just showing up and going zero to horny in under thirty seconds. Like Monday, when you stormed into the kitchen and started making out with me? That was so hot. I was trying to be like that.”

He smiled. “You’re cute,” he said, nuzzling her nose. “Don’t sneak up on me next time, and it’ll go better.”

“Noted.” She pulled him in for a kiss, and he happily reciprocated, deepening it quickly with a slide of his tongue along her lip for her to open. His cock was still hard, pressing into her skin, his hand moving up to palm her shirt-covered breast, listening to those sounds he loved coming from her throat while they kissed, and kissed, and kissed.

His lips left hers to catch his breath, moving them along her jaw to nibble at her chin.

“I love you in this shirt,” he said into her skin.

“Thanks,” she panted. “It’s comfy. Now please, fuck me, Javi.”

“Need my dick, Cielito?” He kissed over her pulse point, feeling the steady beat of her heart beneath his lips.

“Yes,” she answered.

That was all the answer he needed, pushing up with a grunt to sit up on his knees while she turned onto her stomach, which required him to help move her legs around him. Her hips rose automatically without his help, presenting her glistening pussy, and that had a shock of arousal hitting his gut at how ready she was for him. His cock throbbed between his legs, wanting to feel her squeeze around him.

One hand smoothed over her ass, spitting on the fingers of the other that he rubbed over her entrance, repeating the action to slick his dick up, notching himself at her drenched hole.

“You ready?” he asked.

Her head was resting on her crossed arms. “Dámelo (Give it to me).”

“Es tuyo, mi reina (It’s yours, my queen),” he replied, pushing in.

His eyes slipped shut, and his mouth went slack as her hot, velvety walls embraced him, smoothly sliding all the way home in one thrust.

“Fuck,” he breathed, it feeling like her tight heat was trying to suck him in deeper.

“God, that’s good,” she moaned.

Pulling out halfway, he pushed easily back in. “Fucking love this pussy—sit up with me.” He tapped her hip.

Her legs were on either side of his, getting her up on her knees to have her back to his chest, his arm going across her front to hold her breast, the other palm gliding down the soft cotton of her shirt to the apex of her thighs.

His pace was slow; there was no hurry, wanting her to really feel him by keeping his cock buried deep inside her, barely thrusting in and out while moving his hips in a circular pattern. He welcomed it when she reached behind to dig her cherry-colored nails into his ass, her other set doing the same to his arm as she softly moaned, the fire in his belly slowly building.

Had he really gone three days without this? Feeling her warmth, the way it rippled through his body, and her softness, having her so close to him, and the connection. He needed to feel more of her. He needed more of her skin on his. He needed it all.

His thrusts didn’t waver as he pressed his lips to the shell of her ear, whispering, “Mi amor (My love)?”

“Yes?” she gasped.

“Do you wanna keep the shirt on?”

Even though he told her constantly how attractive he found her and her body, there were still times when she felt more comfortable wearing a shirt during sex, and he respected that.

“No.”

As soon as the word left her lips, he was tugging it up, her arms going over her head for him to get it off, tossing it to the floor.

Pulling her back, her skin on his felt amazing, languidly moving in her while he kissed along her shoulder and neck and up to bite at her earlobe. His fingers between her legs were rubbing at her swollen clit, his other hand plucking at her hardened nipple, feeling her arousal dripping down his dick.

His lips were back at her ear, panting hot breaths against it as he asked, “Did your needy little pussy miss me, baby? Did it miss being stuffed with my cock or my come?”

“Both,” she moaned.

With the way her cunt was starting to flutter, he knew she was getting close. Their bodies were sticky with sweat, not caring how they stuck together or the wet sounds where they were joined, Javier smiling at hearing the wet suck of his dick moving in and out of her sopping pussy.

The angle was awkward, but he kissed her cheek, and she turned her head to chase his lips, kissing him while he built her up higher and higher, his own orgasm taking shape at the base of his spine.

His mouth went back to press at her shoulders, Javier in heaven.

“I love you so fucking much,” he said through heavy breaths, muffled into her skin. “So fucking much. Eres todo para mí y siempre lo serás (You’re everything to me and always will be). Te daría la luna si pudiera (I would give you the moon if I could). Te daría todas las estrellas del cielo (I would give you every star in the sky).” He started moving a little faster, putting more pressure on her clit, her moans getting louder. “Te mereces todo y más y movería cielos y tierra para dártelo si pudiera (You deserve everything and more and I would move heaven and earth to give it to you if I could). Pero solo soy un hombre así que te estoy dando todo de mí (But I am just a man, so I am giving you all of me). Cada parte de mí te pertenece porque yo soy tuyo y siempre seré tuyo (Every part of me belongs to you because I am yours and I will always be yours).”

Her pussy seized up tight around him as she came with a cry of his name, his fingers gently swirling over her sensitive bundle of nerves to help her ride out the wave.

“So good to me,” he softly said, kissing the side of her neck. “You did so fucking good for me, my good girl—god, I love you.”

It took some seconds for her to speak, her voice sounding rougher than usual. “Javier, why would you say absurdly romantic shit you know is gonna make me cry while you’re balls deep inside me and on the cusp of making me come?”

“I don’t know,” he panted, shrugging. “Felt right. Still got you off, though,” he pointed out.

“Yes, and cry at the same time, which is rude.” She wiped at her eyes.

His hands were rubbing circles on her hips.

“I don’t see that as a bad thing—are you still wanting the special thing you say I’m good at?”

“The Javi special, that you know the name of and refuse to use—” That was true. “—Yes. Pretty please.”

He smacked her thigh. “Hands and knees, baby.”

His cock was still achingly hard inside her when she lowered onto her arms, figuring he could go a bit longer before he’d come. Gripping the flesh of her hips, he moved, watching as he pulled almost all the way out, seeing himself shining in her juices and fucking back into her hard. She loved getting pounded from behind, and he was more than happy to oblige with his dick slickly moving fast in and out of her tight, hot heat, carving out space inside her with every stroke that had her mewling.

A layer of sweat was coating his forehead and chest, feeling a drop slide down his cheek while he grunted in exertion, fucking her how she wanted, her moans of his name spurring him on. His big hands grabbed onto the cheeks of her ass and squeezed them, gripping them to pull her back and fuck her on his cock. One left her, coming back down on the jiggling flesh with a loud smack that had her cunt clenching around him and her crying out in pleasure. He kept up the punishing pace, his heart thudding in his chest, spanking her again in the same spot, then on the other side, feeling her getting wetter.

“You gonna give me one more?” he asked through bared teeth.

Her arms and legs were trembling, and he was pretty sure he could make her come one more time. It looked like she couldn’t hold up her weight anymore, moving onto her forearm, her head resting to the side on it, noticing her other arm had gone under her body to play with her clit.

“Javi?” she gasped his name.

“Yeah?” he answered.

“I want you to come inside me.”

Pleasure was curling and knotting in his gut, and her words ramped it up.

“I will.”

“I wanna feel you come inside me.”

That sentence confused the fuck out of him in his wrecked state, not knowing at all what she meant since he already said he was going to do it.

“I’ll fill you up, baby,” he panted, now focusing on chasing his high, closing his eyes, needing that sweet release more than anything. “I’ll fuck you full of me, stuff you full of my come, and get you preg—” The sentence cut off into a strangled moan as she reached between her legs to cup his sack, the sensation tipping him over the edge, hitting the point of no return. He pushed into her all the way as his balls tightened, and he came, his cock jerking hard, pumping spurts and spurts of his spend inside her. His mind had gone blank, euphoria taking over every molecule in his body, feeling her cunt spasming and tightening around him as she went with him.

When a coherent thought came to him, it was that he needed to lie down—a hiss slipping through his teeth when he pulled out, moving to fall onto the mattress beside her.

The second thing to cross his mind as the cool air in the room felt chillier on his sweat-dampened skin was he missed her warmth—frowning, he sat up with a groan, his heavy-lidded eyes seeing she was sprawled out next to him.

“Lay back down,” she said, turning her head toward him with a little smile and looking just as wrung out as he felt. “I could feel your sad eyes on me.” She yawned, speaking through it, “I just needed a second to be able to move—I was heading your way, baby.”

He didn’t have to be told twice, lying back down and getting comfortable with his head cushioned on a pillow. Seconds later, she was in his space, making herself at home with her body half on top of his, Javier smiling when her fingers slid into his sweat-dampened hair, wrapping his arms around her.

His words were rough. “That was new.”

“Robyn told me about it.” That was her best friend and co-worker. “But I just made it extra horny by feeling them while you came.”

“I liked it.”

“Good.”

She cuddled closer to him, sighing happily as they laid there.

If someone asked him what his favorite thing in the entire world was to do, his answer would be what they were doing right now—not the sex, but the being naked, holding each other in their relaxed, happy states, enjoying the other's company.

This was also when he was most vulnerable physically but mentally, too. All his carefully built walls crumbling, aware that he’d answer any question she asked him and ignoring the one on the tip of his tongue that he could taste the words of.

“Yes,” she said, tilting her head up to kiss under his jaw, and his heart started hammering that maybe he said aloud what he was thinking.

His lips pressed to her forehead. “Yes, what?”

“Just practicing how I’ll answer when you finally ask—I wanna be ready.”

He smiled.

“I do.”

“Huh?”

“Just practicing how I’ll answer when I’m asked if I’ll take you as my wife.”

She sat up to hover her face over his, looking him in the eyes. “That was really fucking smooth.” He smiled. “I love you, Javi, more than anything.” Her lips met his, kissing him tenderly, his hand cradling the back of her head.

They separated after a few seconds. “I love you, too,” he replied.

Her red-nailed fingers pushed the hair off his forehead while she looked at him fondly. “I know you do. Let’s go shower, and then we can make dinner.” She started to get up, moving to the edge of the bed. “Does pasta sound good?” she asked as she stood.

His back protested when he sat up and got out of bed from the opposite side. “Sounds great. We’ve got stuff for salad, too.”

“We do.” She nodded, her head turning to look at him.

“Go start warming up the shower. I’m gonna go grab my clothes from the living room.”

Her mouth turned up in a grin. “What a good, responsible man, cleaning up after his sexcapades. Okay, hurry up!” She started heading for the en suite, and he went to grab the pile he left by the front door, taking out his wallet from his pants pocket and putting it in the bowl on the table, picking up his dress shirt from the floor, grabbing his suit jacket and tie.

He could hear the overhead fan blowing and the water running in the bathroom, light streaming out from the door that was almost all the way closed.

Tossing his clothes on the bed, he kept his pants in his hands as he walked the few steps to his dresser beside the bedroom door, glancing toward the noises over his shoulder before pulling open the top drawer that contained his socks and underwear. His hand went into the pocket of his slacks, pulling out the small white leather ring box, popping it open to see the gold band with a modest-sized diamond in the middle with two smaller ones on each side.

“You don’t know that you’re gonna get to answer that question a lot sooner than planned,” he whispered, “and I can’t wait to see you wearing this.”

“Javi?” she called from the bathroom.

Quickly, he shut the box. “Coming!” He dug into the back of his drawer for the old pair of wool socks he never wore, bundling the ring box inside of them and stashing it away in the depths.

Now, all he had to figure out was when.

Friday, November 6, 11:58 AM

The conference room didn’t have a fucking clock.

He needed a cigarette, his fingers itching for one, thinking he could probably bum a smoke off of someone when this was over. His reading glasses were sitting on the bridge of his nose as he brought up his wrist to read his watch for probably the thirtieth time in the last fifty-eight minutes he’d been in this pointless meeting.

The DEA agent he was currently half-listening to and who has been the bane of his existence since he started this job, had come in on some kind of power trip, thinking he had authority over Javier and the people he worked with—it’s been an ongoing issue and a reason there was animosity between the two men.

It all made sense when he finally put a face to the name of asshole DEA agent Jesse Clemons.

The other man was in his late twenties, if he had to guess—definitely too young for the assignment he’d been given since there was no way he had enough experience, and he was hiding it by being a grade-A dick. In terms of looks, the kid was smaller than him, thinner, shorter, with the face of an average white male, and had the attitude of someone whose parents paid for him to get into an Ivy League school—which made Javier think he had connections that landed him this job since something about the guy screamed ‘nepotism hire.’

Javier put him in his place before they even sat down and made it clear he was the one in charge here—possibly scaring him too much because the kid was stuttering and stammering through the whole meeting.

Glancing at his watch, he saw the hour was finally up.

“Well,” he said, interrupting the agent as he closed the files before him, putting them into a stack. “I’ve got another appointment to get to.” Standing, he took off his glasses, sliding them into the inner pocket of his suit jacket, and picked up the manila folders. “It was nice to meet you in person, and we’ll see how your suggestions play out.” They wouldn’t. “Doors this way.” He held out his arm toward it.

The agent looked relieved it was over, quickly putting his things away in his brown leather briefcase and letting Javier usher him out of the room.

They paused just outside the door.

“Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with me, sir,” Jesse said, holding out his hand that Javier quickly shook.

“Yeah.”

“My, uh—“ He scratched at the back of his neck. “—My nana sends her regards.”

That had Javier’s eyebrows pulling together as he tried to figure out who he could possibly be talking about.

“Your… nana...?”

“Yes, my grandma Noonan. She was a former ambassador in Colombia…”

Javier huffed out a breath—there it was, the reason this kid was hired. His grandma was a real hardass but pretty decent at her job, and with her connections, it’s no wonder her grandson had such an important assignment.

“Yeah, I remember your nana. You give her my best. Thanks for stopping by.”

The younger man nodded, retreating down the hallway.

Javier sure as fuck didn’t miss the DEA and their bullshit, the meeting turning out to be just as irritating as he’d expected it to be. He’d been prepared for the questions and had the files to back up his answers and prove they’d been working their asses off.

The only good thing about this was that the kid would probably leave him alone now, or at the very least only be in contact when necessary, which is what Javier hoped.

Once the agent disappeared around the corner at the end of the hall, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in, his eyes closing for a moment.

He didn’t actually have another appointment. It was lunchtime for him and the woman he loved, who he needed to talk to in order to calm his nerves.

“Never thought I’d see you again.” That voice hadn’t spoken to him since he uncovered just how corrupt the Colombian government was. His eyes flew open, turning his head toward them.

“Why the fuck am I seeing you, Stechner?” he practically spat out.

Bill Stechner looked balder and his beard longer, standing half a dozen steps from him down the hall. His appearance had Javier’s heart speeding up and jaw clenching, knowing that nothing good would come from this.

The older man walked a little closer as he spoke, holding a file in one hand and the other in his pocket, “I was in the neighborhood on business and heard you were working here. Wanted to stop by and see how my old friend was doing.”

His eyes narrowed.

“We’ve never been friends, and how I’m doing is none of your fucking business.”

“What? I can’t be happy for you?”

Javier’s blood ran cold—what the fuck did he know?

Stechner removed the hand from his pocket to open the folder. “You know,” he continued, glancing down at it. “That girl of yours is too good for you.”

Dread came over him, feeling the heaviness of it in his gut and having to swallow hard because there was a chance he might throw up.

“I know she is,” he answered.

“No, no, I mean she’s really too good for you and is another woman with questionable taste in men. Did you know she graduated top of her class in college?” He didn’t. “She had the pick of any hospital in the country, and she chose Dallas, which, let me tell you, is quite far from her family, but I’m sure you know that.” He did. “Speaking of her family—” Stechner flipped a page. “—talk about notoriety and wealth. I’m honestly surprised you live in that tiny condo with all of the money she has. Looking at this, she should be with a doctor, or a surgeon, hell, even someone from a family as affluent as hers.” An opinion her parents shared. “I’m not seeing why she’d choose a disgraced farmer boy.” His teeth clenched, the sentence repeating over and over in his head, ‘Because she loves me. Because she loves me.’ The other man looked up to meet his eyes. “But you, the only reason you’re with her is the money, right? Because someone like you isn’t the settling down type. You can’t stick to just one woman, and with that kind of cash, you can afford more pussy than you were paying for with Uncle Sam’s money in Colombia.”

What money? What money was he talking about?

The jabs about his sex life were fine; he was used to it, but he was beyond confused at being accused of only dating Cielito for her money since he’d seen her bank statements—they sat at their kitchen table writing checks to pay bills together every month, and balance their checkbooks. Her accounts weren’t anything crazy, and his savings was even bigger than hers from not having to pay for a lot in Colombia. Her job did make more than his, though; that was a fact and understandable with the work she did.

But she wasn’t some millionaire, which was what was being implied.

Maybe he was assuming that since her family had money, she did, too?

Too bad his research didn’t tell him her relationship with her family was strained with them all being a bunch of uptight, snobby dicks and that there was a chance she’d been written out of her parents' wills due to her life choices (dating him)—so, she didn’t have access to their money.

Everything else Stechner said had him taken aback at how he’d managed to tug at Javier’s relationship insecurities—he knew he wasn’t good enough for her, that his career was lacking, his wealth was mediocre, that his past should be a glaring red flag.

But she still chose him despite it all.

Despite it all, she still loved only him.

His face had heated as it pinched in anger at the fucking audacity of this fucker trying to mess with his relationship, rage roiling in his belly that Stechner misused his authority with the CIA to get information on his future wife and invade her privacy.

“I don’t owe you any explanations,” he gritted out. “Leave me and her the fuck alone.”

“Oh, you didn’t know about the money.” The file closed in his hand. “Like how she didn’t know about all you did in Colombia? I could tell I caught her off guard when I brought it up.”

Panic erupted inside him, his eyes widening, papers scattering on the floor when he dropped the folders in his hand to take the strides and grab the other man by his dark green jacket lapels, slamming him into the wall. “What did you tell her?!” The words roared from his throat.

His mind was racing, thinking of all Stechner could’ve told her and knowing without a doubt he’d twist things to make Javier look like a heartless monster—he was so fucking scared he could cry.

It irritated him how calmly the other man spoke. “Well, I couldn’t believe she didn’t know why you weren’t there to catch Escobar with how ‘serious’ you two are and figured it must’ve slipped your mind, so I just told her the truth of how you got a lot of innocent civilians murdered by helping Los Pepes—men, women, children. I also brought a copy of Judy’s interview for her to read as proof.”

This was his worst nightmare.

That interview pinned all of the leaked intelligence to Los Pepes on him when they were also getting it from other high-ranking members of Search Bloc, the police force in Colombia dedicated to taking down drug lords. It made him look responsible for all of the carnage and innocent casualties, including the war that happened between Pablo Escobar and Los Pepes that had the former setting off a bomb at a busy shopping center a week before schools were starting, killing a bunch of kids.

“You’re looking awfully pale, Javier,” Stechner continued. “Do you need to sit down?”

He didn’t have a chance to explain the truth to her.

She was going to leave him over his past mistakes. There was no way she’d want to be with someone who fucked up so badly—he was going to lose her, and his heart felt like it was breaking into a million tiny pieces he’d never be able to put back together.

He was spiraling, his eyes burning with unshed tears as he let go of the man, turning around with his face in his hands, screaming into them FUCK!

Why was this happening to him? Why was Stechner trying to ruin the only good thing in his life? Was this payback for disobeying and taking down the Cali cartel? For revealing the corruption in Colombia? Or was this just for his own fucked up amusement?

His entire world was crumbling. He should’ve told her sooner. She should’ve heard all of this from him and gotten the truth.

She was everything to him, and without her, he was nothing.

He had nothing left to lose if he already lost her, and now he was just angry and fucking tired of people ruining his life. His blood was boiling, rage bubbling up inside him over this vindictive motherfucker who wouldn’t leave him the fuck alone.

His hands fell, and he turned on his heel to face the bastard.

“I should’ve done this a long time ago,” he said.

Stechner smiled. “What’s that?”

His right fist was tightly clenched, and then he swung, hearing and feeling the sickening crunch as it connected with the other man’s face, who yelped in pain.

Javier was numb, shaking out his hand as it flexed at his side while Stechner tried to staunch the bleeding coming from his nostrils, the file he had tucked under his arm.

Javier glared, his tone menacing as he raised a finger, “Leave me and her the fuck alone. If I see you around here again—” He jabbed the other man in the chest. “—I’m getting a fucking restraining order.”

“I could have you arrested for assaulting a government agent.” He sounded nasally.

“And how will the CIA feel about one of their agents using government means to harass a civilian? You get me arrested, you lose your fucking job for being a creep. Leave. Us. The. Fuck. Alone. You got what you wanted. She’s probably at the apartment packing my shit as we speak.” He snatched the folder from Stechner. “I’m taking this—now fuck off.”

With that, he turned around, his heart pounding, heading to where he dropped his files.

Sheriff Arturo’s assistant, Joy, came out of the conference room, holding her notepad to her chest with wired-rimmed glasses on her freckled face. He’d forgotten she’d been taking notes for her boss at the meeting.

“Go to the hospital and talk to her,” she said. “I’ll clean up the mess here and make sure he—” She glared at Stechner. “—is escorted out of the building.” Her eyes came back to him, the fresh college graduate looking worried, when she continued, “Whatever is going on sounds bad, and you need to go right now and fix it, Javi. Go to her! Hurry!”

She was right.

“Thank you,” he replied and started jogging down the maze of hallways to get out of the building.

By the time he made it to his truck, sweat was coating his forehead, and he didn’t bother putting on his sunglasses, tossing the file Stechner had on the passenger seat, the tires screeching as he turned onto the roadway. His hand tightly squeezed the steering wheel while the other dug his phone out of his pocket, holding it up to his ear as he speed-dialed Cielito.

Ring.

“Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system—”

“Fuck,” he hissed, redialing.

Ring.

“Your call—” He hit the end call button, glancing at the clock on his dashboard.

She should be on lunch right now and have her phone.

She should be answering.

She always answered.

He dialed again.

Ring.

Dread filled him once more.

“Your call—” He clicked the end button.

Was she screening his calls? Was she letting him go to voicemail?

Was she done with him? Was this all over? Was she even going to be at the hospital when he got there? Or did she leave work early to go home and pack his things?

He didn’t want to call her work, but he needed to know if he was heading to the right place, scrolling through his cellphone’s phone book until he found the number he was looking for and pushed call.

Ring.

“Doctor’s Hospital of Laredo, how may I direct your call?”

“Post-op nurse’s station.”

“One moment.”

Ring.

“Post-op. Robyn speakin’,” her cheery voice answered.

He let out a relieved breath.

Robyn would know where she was at.

“Robyn, it’s Javi—“

“She can’t talk right now,” she interrupted in a serious tone, her change in demeanor jolting him and making his stomach drop.

“Just…” His throat felt tight, swallowing hard while his eyes watered. “Just tell me if she’s there, please,” he all but begged.

“Of course she’s here.”

“Okay… Thank you…” he numbly replied, ending the call and setting the phone on the bench seat beside him.

A tear rolled down his cheek.

“Fuck!” he shouted, hitting the steering wheel.

How was it that hours ago, his life had been perfect?

Everything had finally fallen into place—he’d found the perfect woman who loved him and who he loved; he’d gotten his mother’s ring from his dad the day before and was going to take it to the jewelry store Monday to have it sized and altered, actively planning how he was going to propose so it’d be perfect.

She deserved perfection.

He’d been living the fucking dream, and now he wasn’t even sure if he still had a girlfriend.

She wasn’t answering his calls, and she’d roped in her friend to keep him from talking to her.

She promised him she’d still love him after finding out about his past, and he believed it, but he also knew Stechner was a sadistic prick, and Javier didn’t know what she’d been told—what lies, and exaggerations were said to make him look as horrible as possible.

It must’ve been jarring for her, and she wanted space—what she needed was to hear the truth, the whole truth of everything he went through down there, that he should’ve fucking told her months ago. He felt like a real piece of shit that he put her in this position. Javier knew her better than anyone else, and had she known about Los Pepes, and all the other shit he’d been keeping from her, he knew for a fact she would’ve sniffed Stechner out right away and ripped him to fucking pieces for trying to sabotage their relationship. But she didn’t know, and that rat bastard got what he wanted.

The traffic light turned green, and he laid on the horn when the car in front of him didn’t immediately go, passing them when he could as he sped over the speed limit.

All he could think about was how he had to get to her and straighten this all out—hell, if he needed to, Steve could corroborate everything he was going to tell her.

He would fix this. He had to fix this.

There was no other option.

He couldn’t go back to how he was living before her, which wasn’t living at all; it was just existing with no purpose. There was a purpose now; there was more than a purpose, expanding to hopes and dreams for their future together.

She was his sun, shining brightly, giving him life, warmth, and helping him grow. He was her moon, faithfully following her anywhere she’d go, reflecting her radiant love, loving her day and night in her best and worst moments.

He loved her more than anything, and he would do whatever it took to make this right.

His eyes were burning.

“Tengo miedo, amá (I’m scared, mom),” he whispered under his breath. “Me duele el corazón (My heart is hurting). No puedo perderla, amá (I can’t lose her, mom). La amo más que a nada en el mundo y no puedo vivir sin a ella (I love her more than anything in the world and I can’t live without my her).” Tears fell down his cheeks. “¿Puedes hablar con alguien en el cielo o dondequiera que estés (Can you talk to someone in heaven or wherever you are)? ¿Por favor, amá (Please, mom)?” He wiped at his face, sniffling. “¿Por favor (Please)? La amo y haré cualquier cosa para recuperarla de vuelta (I love her and I will do anything to get her back).”

Prev - Next - Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist

Thank you for reading! If you’d like to be tagged in my fics, please fill out the form in my bio, on my masterlist, or just let me know!

Tagging: @theorganasolo @nicolethered @nessamc @vanemando15 @fiscinthirst @melancholyy-hill @hnt-escape @sherala007 @jadesabre83 @rainbeaubrightchild @blub-senpai @pedrohoe04 @theherothesavior @captain-creampuff @javiersjeans @zetasaturno99 @amb11 @lovedbyth3sun @siidereeus @marvelousmermaid @mrszdjarin @themarcusmoreno @ms-loverman-066 @star-wars-fan-2005 @kissing-stars @chloeinpink @notyourlovemonkey @unofficialavenger90 @fictionismyreality @sheetsof-lennon @damnyoupedro @katareyoudrilling @iamskyereads @enjoyourlattebitch @daddydindjarin @absurdthirst @kirsteng42 @littlemisspascal @athalien @thevoiceinyourheadx @elegantduckturtle @harriedandharassed @girlofchaos @mswarriorbabe80 @theewokingdead @guess-my-next-obsession @pedrostories

#pedro pascal #javier peña #javier peña/reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña smut #wheresarizona writes #learning to live series

463 notes · View notes

topazy · 2 months

Text

Tomorrow's promise

Pairing: Daryl Dixon × reader, Rick Grimes × sister reader

Warnings: Swearing, violence, blood

Chapter: 3.06

Merle was trying to intimidate you by dragging his blade across the metallic table in front of you. The screeching noise caused you to flinch. You had spent the last couple of hours listening to Merle interrogate Glenn, beating him senseless for information, but not once did Glenn break. His actions solidified your reasoning for refusing to tell him anything; you’d rather be tortured than tell him anything.

You were being kept in a bricked-up building; the white paint on the walls has begun to peel off with dampness, and aside from the one door leading in, there was no other exit for you to escape out of.

Standing in front of you, Merle cocks his head to the side and says, “That shirt you’re wearing belongs to my brother.”

“How observant.”

“He gave it to you?”

You roll your eyes and say, “Yes.”

“He ain’t usually one for sharing.”

You say nothing back. Your people would have figured out something was wrong by now, and your brother would have come up with some plan to find you and Glenn. Even if Rick has started to lose his mind, this would force him back into reality.

“Listen, sugar tits. I don’t want to hit a girl, but I will if I need to.”

It’s difficult for you to comprehend that Daryl and Merle are brothers because the older Dixon was so vile in comparison to his younger brother. Merle begins to rant about Rick, Glenn, and T-Dog leaving him on the roof in Atlanta to die. While Merle shares his version of events in which he’s the victim, you manage to loosen the tape bounding your wrists behind your back.

You don’t let anything Merle says rile you up, until he mentions Rick one too many times, and it causes a wave of anger to wash over you.

“All I want to know is where my baby brother is and where that goddamn sheriff is so I can make the son of a bitch pay!”

Using your free hand, you punch Merle in the face; the unexpected blow causes him to stagger back. When he’s stable, he pulls his gun out and hits you in the face, causing blood to pool from your mouth. It takes you a few seconds to register that blood is not just coming from your lower lip; you bring your hand to your mouth and feel that a bottom tooth is missing.

Merle jolts forward and clenches your cheeks with his hand. “Do you have any idea who you’re fucking messing with, girl?”

You smack his hand away. Glaring at him, you say, “I’m Lily Grimes, and when my brother comes for us, I’ll make sure he takes more than your fucking hand this time!”

Merle tenses them out of the room.

—

Your tongue becomes numb when you bite it so hard in an attempt to hold back tears. Since you told Merle nothing, the governor has tried to pry information out of you with various threats. When that didn’t work, he forced you to strip off all the top half of your clothing. When you crossed your arms over your chest to try and cover yourself, he just laughed at you.

The governor was now dragging you roughly by the arm to another part of the building, with Merle and another man leading the way, each of them holding guns in their hands.

You gasped in shock at the sight of Glenn's severe beating upon entering the next room. Blood streamed from his ears, nose, and mouth, while bruises marred his face. His left eye was so swollen that he could hardly open it.

“We’re through with games,” the governor says, pulling out his gun and pointing it at your head. “Now, one of you is going to give up your camp.” When you don’t answer, he lets out a dark chuckle. “No? Let’s see if this gets you talking.”

Feeling a sudden, sharp pain in your lower leg, you stumble forward. One of the men had sliced your calf with a knife. You spit blood from your mouth out onto the ground. “I’m not going to tell you sadistic fucks anything!”

When the governor raises her hand to strike you, Glenn blurts out, “The prison.”

The governor lowers his hand, and Merle asks, “The one near Nunez? The place is overrun.”

“How many?”

When you don’t answer again, the governor points his gun at Glenn. “You have until I count to three, Miss Grimes. One…two…”

“Eleven,” you sob.

“Eleven people cleared that whole prison of walkers?”

You nod.

Enraged, the governor places his hand on your back and pushes you to the ground on his way out. As you weep, Merle and the other man step over your body and out of the room.

Glenn rushes to your side; he tries to help you up, but you refuse since you’d be showing him your bare chest. He takes his top off, hands it to you, then turns around for you to put it on. Once it’s on, you sit upright, and you bend your leg to inspect the bleeding wound. The cut wasn’t big but looked deep.

“Fuck, that looks bad, Lily.” He moves closer to inspect your face. “The governor took your tooth?”

“Merle hit me with his gun.”

Glenn starts to look around for something to help stop the bleeding. The room you were locked in reminds you of the wooden shed in your garden that Shane used to leave his unwanted junk in.

The disgusting treatment you and Glenn received pulls at a memory—something you’d tried so hard to keep locked away inside the back of your mind. In between sobs, you say, “Rick will find us; I’m not sure how, but he will.”

—

When more of the governor's men, led by Merle, came back to torture you for more information, you and Glenn attacked them with makeshift weapons. One of the men tried to force you to stand; you stabbed him in the throat with the sharp edge of a broken pipe, while Glenn tried to tackle Merle, but you were outnumbered.

Forced onto your knees, a sob slips from your lips. The men were reloading their guns behind you, getting ready to kill you with their execution style. Glenn, who looks terrified beside you, holds your hand. “We’re going to be okay; just look at me.”

“I’m never going to see Jace again.”

“Maggie will keep him safe.”

His grip on your hand tightens as the men approach to put sacks over your head.

“It’s been fun catching up,” Merle taunts.

All of a sudden, there’s a loud bang followed by smoke, which makes it hard to breathe with your head covered. Perhaps this was their cruel way of killing you—gassing you to death.

The sack is ripped off your head, and you’re met with a familiar face.

“Rick…”

Everything is chaotic as gunfire lights up the room, but with the smoke, it was hard to see who was shooting. Rick hooks his arm around you and helps you stay upright as you run from the room.

—

As soon as Rick lets go of you to barricade the door, you stumble to the ground. He tries to catch you, but he’s not fast enough. Rick had practically carried you across the street and into a small diner, which luckily had no windows, so hopefully it would give you cover for a little while.

Maggie kneels down and tends to Glenn, who’s leaning back against the counter, while Daryl and Oscar clear the back rooms.

Rick disappears and reappears within seconds, coming out of the kitchen with a tea towel in his hand. Frantically, he ties the fabric around your lower leg, and when you yell in pain, he apologizes, “Sorry, sorry. We gotta get you two out of here.”

“How’s Jace?”

Daryl answers before your brother can. “Aside from missing his mom, the little guy is fine.”

“Carl?”

Rick's eyes soften. “Don’t worry about them right now; they are safe. Everybody in the prison is fine. Lily, Carol is alive.”

Finally, some good news.

Maggie looks over at your brother and says, “Help me get him up.”

Glenn was starting to look a lot worse, with his face becoming more swollen with each passing moment. You’re unaware of Daryl moving behind you until he hooks his arm around your waist and helps you to your feet.

Daryl presses a kiss into your hair and says, “Shit, what happened to your face?”

“I had the pleasure of meeting your brother.”

He steps back slightly, maintaining his grip without letting go completely. “My brother is here.”

“Daryl, this was Merle,” Glenn slurs as blood mixed with saliva dribbles from his mouth.

“It was him; he did this.”

“You saw him?” Rick asks in disbelief.

Glenn nods, “Face-to-face. He threw a walker at me. He was going to execute us.”

Daryl’s loose grip on you suddenly tightens again. “So, my brothers, is this governor?”

“No,” you say, shaking your head. “He’s somebody else. Merle’s his lieutenant or something.”

“Does he know I’m with you?” Although it was a simple question, the way Daryl was looking at you made you feel it was much deeper.

“He does now,” Glenn says. “Rick I’m sorry, but we told him where the prison was. We couldn’t hold out.”

“Don’t; there is no need to apologize.” Rick says, “We have a car half a mile down the road, and we need to go now before they find us.”

—

The fight to get out of Woodbury, the hellhole of a town the governor runs, was brutal. Someone shot and killed Oscar, and Daryl went missing.

A woman named Michonne waited on the side of the road with you and Glenn. Neither of you were able to walk far, so you stayed while Rick and Maggie had gone back to search for Daryl.

“Lily! Glenn!”

Hearing your brother's voice, you get to your feet and limp over to the tree line. “Rick, did you find him?”

Your brother nods, panting, and he raises his hand. “Now we have a problem here; I need you to back up.”

You see Daryl and smile, realizing that he's alive, but the spark of happiness you feel quickly falters when you see Merle behind him.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Glenn yells, pointing his gun at Merle.

Michonne points her sword at him and says, “He tried to kill me!”

While the rest of the group argues, Merle leans back against a tree, smirking. He was enjoying the chaos his presence caused. You make your way over to him slowly, which amuses him. “Now, sweetheart—”

You cut him off by head-butting him. “That’s for my missing tooth, you asshole!”

“Hey, now, you hit me first,” he argues.

“After you beat the shit out of Glenn!” You go to take a step closer to him, but Daryl holds you back.

“You hurt her?” He barks.

“Oh, I see how it is.” Merle sneers at his brother before turning his attention back to you. “Listen, girly, we both got a few bunches in, but I had nothing to do with you being dragged around topless; bosom’s on show for all.”

Before Merle can say anything else, Rick is on top of him, punching him repeatedly. At first, nobody intervenes, but when the blows don’t stop, Daryl lets go of you and moves to pull him off. “Rick, that’s enough!”

“Rick! Stop!”

It takes Daryl, Michonne, and Maggie to finally pull your brother off of Merle. The look in Rick’s eyes was almost feral, like one you hadn’t seen in years.

—

You sit in the passenger seat of the car your brother would be driving back, watching as Maggie, Glenn, Rick, and Daryl have a heated conversation in the middle of the road. Leaning your head back, you squeeze your eyes shut. All you wanted was to get back to prison and hold Jace.

You needed to see Jace, Carl, and your niece for yourself to fully believe they were safe.

When the car door opens, you sigh. You already have a sick feeling about what is about to happen. Without opening your eyes, you say, “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

“They ain’t allowing Merle to come back to the prison.”

You open your eyes to look at Daryl, who’s crouched down to be eye level with you. He appears to be in a state of despair; it's the first time you’ve ever seen him look so defeated. “You surprised me after what he did to me and Glenn?”

“No.”

You rack your brain, trying to find any other solution that didn’t result in Daryl leaving, but there was none. “None of us want you to go.”

“I know,” he says, looking down at the ground. “Merle is coming in and out of consciousness; if I leave him on his own and a walker finds him... He’s my blood; I can’t do that.”

Your eyes cut across the road to Rick, who was patiently waiting. It stung knowing that if the roles were reversed, you wouldn’t leave your brother behind; “we’re your family as well.”

Daryl looks up at you again; this time his eyes are filled with unshed tears. “I just… I need you to know if Merle was able to protect himself. I’d be leaving here to go back to the prison.”

“What about when he’s better?”

“I’ll find my way back to you.”

#the walking dead #daryl dixon/you #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x you #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixon #Daryl Dixon/reader #tomorrow’s promise #tomorrow’s promise 3.06 #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead fanfiction #twd fanfiction #rick grimes x sister reader

216 notes · View notes

oh-koenig-my-koenig · 5 months

Text

Fit for a King - WIP - "Open wide, Prinzessin"

Fit for a King - Masterlist

a/n: a little chapter i wrote this week, mostly while on the go, so i hope there aren't that many typos hehe

CW: arm p*rn, rough bj, light degradation

(NSFW)

The atmosphere is quite different today. Chatter is filling the team tent, everybody's sitting in loose groups and me right in the middle. Not on the outside like it has been the case some times before that. The team is coming together, especially on missions like this. On the other side of the tent, Horangi is cracking jokes and telling stories from times when he and König went to bars in the villages. Beside me Nikto and Aksel are philosophizing about how they don't miss the midnight sun, but I'm only half participating in the conversation because my attention is on the other side of the room. On the tall austrian man standing behind Horangi to be precise. On his arms to get even further into detail. He's wearing a simple black t-shirt with short sleeves that hug his bizeps in a certain kinda way. Get yourself together, it's only fabric around some muscled arms. But oh lord, what arms. My minds flashes back to when I was holding onto them - for dear life! - as he was fucking me senseless.

He has his arms crossed in front of his chest, only his hands covered by gloves. His hood is tucked into the t-shirt, secured in place by the clothing item. So, really, the only parts of his body are his arms and his eyes. And those got me feeling like a victorian man seeing ankles for the first time. He's not really participating in the conversation, not talking a lot at least, but every so often he laughs about one of Horangi's raunchy jokes and his whole body is shaking with laughter.

His arms tense and relax with his movements, the cords in his muscles moving under the inked skin, the outlines of his veins fighting the shapes of his tattoos. I will myself to look away, to pay attention to what the others are chatting about, but my eyes always wander back to him. His gaze is already on me, every single time, but with the hood it's always hard to make out where he's looking except if his stare directly on you because the white of his eyes contrast with the darkness of the hood around them. And it's always on me.

And he sees me practically drooling over him, over his arms. There's a smirk on his face, i can tell, there's this cocky aura about him. He knows exactly how his arms are making me feel. My eyes drop down to where he's leaning on the table, his hips swayed to the right. I know now what they are capable of and the thought sends a pang of dirty need between my legs. I don't even dare to speak about how his cargo pants hug his lap, because... Well, there isn't much left to the imagination. Why are they so goddamn tight? My mind directly goes to the naughty places, letting the possibility linger to maybe unzip them and freeing him. And maybe put him in another tight space.

I curse under my breath as I hold myself back from squirming in my seat. I focus my attention on Nikto who is telling a story about his youth when he lived at his uncle's for a whole month, driving the tractor and repairing an old shitty car. Aksel is laughing so hard by now as Nikto talks about the one time he drank so much and then got groceries with his uncle's tractor. Great, more drinking stories. I huff a bit, and I mean, I get it. It's just not the thing I'm most enthusiatic about. For obvious reasons. My drinking stories wouldn't be that fun.

My eyes find their way back to him in no time. He's looking at me and I can see the hint of worry on his face. I shake my head minimally and smile at him weakly. He gives me a little hidden thumbs up which turns my smile up. Then his hand is gripping his bicep again, the muscle on his arm jumping as the gloved fingers dig into it. My mouth falls open a bit, because it just got harder to breathe. His upper body shakes again and I can see the little chuckle he's hiding while his gaze on me gets all lusting.

His head tilts to the side again, and his eyes dart to the entrance of the tent. A subtle yet-not-subtle-at-all move. A little "let's go get out of here". I nod the tiniest nod I can manage, and that's all he needs. He speaks up, but over the distance I only hear words like 'Wachablöse' and 'gotta relieve them'.

Smart move, Colonel. Nobody is going to be suspicious if he goes to relieve the other guards on a huggelig evening like that. A few words to Horangi and a general nod to the rest of the people. He heads out the tent, his gaze on me, filled with desire and pure filth. It makes me want to follow him in an instant, but that wouldn't be very subtle now, would it?

I wait a bit, a few minutes, nodding along to the other's conversation like I did the whole time, then I get up. "What's up with you?", Nikto asks me. "You're not going to bed, are you?" I shake my head. "No I'm only taking a leak.", I joke with a grimace, imitating their gruff voices. They all laugh. "Look at Müller, already one of the guys.", Aksel says, seeming a little bit too proud of me. It's fine, he's got more of a dad energy anyways. It's what I like about him. He's also the only one who’s older than the Colonel himself. Well, except for Ridgeback because he is ancient, but he never goes on missions anyways. I digress. I shoot them all a look as I go which only makes them laugh more, then I leave the tent.

The darkness and the cool night air surround me like a chilling hug. I shiver and look around. No 6'10'' silhouette in sight. I take a few steps, trying not to make too much sound. "König?", I whisper into the shadows. I feel the warmth of his body before I hear his chuckle right next to me. "For a recon sniper you're not that stealthy, huh?", he teases me. I turn around with an exasperated gasp. "Well, I'm not really on enemy territory right now.", I shoot back, but he doesn't continue the banter and steps closer towards me, until he presses me against the wall behind my back, caging me in.

"Did you tell them you were going to bed?", he asks, his voice all hushed, so he almost seems breathless. I shake my head. "No, I only told them I was going to the toilet." His hand drops to his belt and he undoes it with a single smooth motion, before he says: "Then you better drop to your knees quickly like a good little slut, so they won't get suspicious what's taking you so long." My body already moves before my mind has even registered every last one of his words. I don't think I've ever been asked to give oral this brazenly before, but the blunt filth only turns me on when it's with him. Kneeling before him I have to stretch to be at eyelevel with his crotch. My hands latch onto the side of his hips and I look up at him while he strokes his dick a few times until he lets the tip rest against my lips. "Open wide, Prinzessin.", he orders softly and my jaw drops down as I lick him for the first time.

He groans and his head rolls back while his hips buck forward. "More.", he pleads harshly. I close my lips around him as well as I can, licking and sucking his dick as he pushes into me. He hits the back of my throat, not even fitting halfway in, and I start to gag, drooling all over him. He doesn’t let up, taking what he so desperately wants. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good.”, he groans. His gloved hand grabs the back of my head, his fingers in my hair as he moves me to his rhythm. He’s fucking my mouth now and I can only take it. Hot tears stream down my cheeks and his other hand holds the side of my face, swiping some of them away as he looks down at me. Our eyes meet and I feel a zap of pleasure running through me with the way he’s looking at me, downright feral. He groans again and the sound rumbles in his broad chest. It’s all so much, almost a little bit too much with how he stretches my throat.

This is the exact thing I expected when I got myself into this … deal with the Colonel. Me at his mercy, him in charge taking what he wants that I give to him oh so willingly. I look up at him, his stature towering over me, and the thoughts vanish from my mind as he face-fucks me senseless. My little whimpers are getting muffled by his dick that’s still pushing into my mouth at an almost ruthless speed.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.”, he breathes. “Bitte, ah, fuck, I’m so close, scheiße, I’m gonna…“ and he spills in my mouth. I keep sucking him, licking up every single drop of cum that he’s giving me, humming satisfied around him. Then he finally pulls back and I take a deep breath of air, almost toppling over when he lets go off me, but his hands are right on me again pulling me to my feet.

“Fuck, that was…” His strong arms, the ones I’ve been eyeing up all night, wrap around me, pressing me against him and we just stay like that for a moment. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna get enough of you.”, he mumbles into my hair as he nuzzles his face against the top of my head. I breathe heavily so my whole chest rumbles, and he looks at me again. “Fuck, are you okay?” I nod quickly. “I’m sorry, I…” His eyes gloss over, his two sides fighting over what to say. “I ruined you.”, he finally says and I can hear the gremlin voice coming out. I laugh, sounding hoarse because of the state of my throat. “I think you did.”, I admit, wiping some spit off my chin. “What are you doing to me?”, he asks then with a sigh and the deeper meaning is not lost on me. “I could ask you the same thing.”, I smirk up at him which pulls a chuckle from his lips. “Even after I stuffed you like that, you’re still mouthing off at me.”, he says with a little edge to his words, but I can see the grin behind his mask.

“We have to hurry now.”, I remind him. The others must surely think I’ve fallen down the loo by now. “Right, right, but…”, he trails off. “But what?”, I want to know. “Can I- can I wake you when my watch is over?”, he asks. “Why do you- oh…”, I blush. I get what he means. “Yes, you can.”, I tell him, not hiding the smile forming on my face at all, which earns me a satisfied grunt and some more smore smoldering heat in his gaze. He caresses down my back once, then we part ways. I try to make myself presentable again before joining the others. They’re all laughing and chatting away, so they’re not paying attention to me anyways. I get a drink and sit back down at one of the tables, to calm myself down. And ignore the pulsing need and wetness between my legs.

And he does. Wake me up in the early morning hours. I’m still all drowsy and sleepy when he pulls my panties to the side and slips two of his fingers into me. I whimper and squirm against him. “Good morning, Liebes.”, he whispers as he starts to play with my pussy. I’m still all worked up and needy from yesterday (just few hours ago really), so it doesn’t take much until I gush around his fingers with his name on my lips. He undoes his belt again and crawls over me, the camp bed aching under the added weight. He pushes into me, stretching me around him and the pressure draws moans and high sighs from my lips. His hand clasps over my mouth shutting me up as he starts to fuck me, hurriedly and hard. Goddamn, this is the best morning sex I ever got. He fucks the sleepiness right out of me until I come a second time, this time around his dick, then he fills me up.

König pulls back with a satisfied hum and tugs my panties over my pussy again, stroking me through the soft fabric. “Don’t you dare change them today.”, he orders me, the inflection of his voice turning unhinged. “I want to know every time I look at you today that my cum is still inside you, that this pussy is all mine.” His words take away my breath as I look up at him, loosing myself in his eyes that pull me in with the intensity of his stare, and all I can do is nod. “Good.”, he gets up, all breezy now. “See you then, Sergeant.” He winks at me and leaves my tent. I hide my face in my hands for a moment, just breathing and calming myself down. I brought myself into this whole ordeal and I’m not complaining, but oh boy. This is intense. I finally get up and dress myself, following his order. Of course.

#könig #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig x fmc #könig fanfiction #cod mw2 smut #könig smut #konig smut #cod smut

249 notes · View notes

ilovereadingandstuff · 6 months

Text

Izuku, I love you...but you're so complicated.

That’s what I got to say.

With the recent manga chapters…I’m emotional.

Back at chapter 401, I went through my gloomiest, saddest, most depressed state I’ve ever been since following this manga. At that time, I was already submerged in this whole atmosphere of ‘war’, and after Stain’s apparent death, I got a realization…It hit me like a brick: AFO was frightening.

I never measured the true impact and weight of AFO’s actions. I never understood Izuku’s perspective of AFO’s first appearance at the series back at chapter 88.

When I understood that, I really… I genuinely believed of the possibility of AFO’s winning…and I was waiting for AFO’ victory: I could hear his goddamn laugh. I could see the blood, the tears…I was drowning in hopelessness.

After all that I went through those few weeks, chapter 403 came…and I could breath. I smiled with the biggest grin I could physically do…I was excited with the panels of “the new beginning” and that bakudeku glance we had. Then, as if the sun never left our side, shining its light through all crystals of tears…Katsuki rose from death and saved All Might, along with Izuku’s help. He and All Might hit the roof of a building and, it that moment, we were blessed with one of the most beautiful smiles he have ever gotten inside this universe: Katsuki’s genuinely smile as the nerd he is by All Might’s compliment.

I can not express in words the gladness, the satisfaction that grin left me with.

Katsuki has always been a truly complicated character for me since the beginning. But I really like him. I think that he, as a character, has been through quite a lot of experiences that always left with a bittersweet taste of him never truly achieving what he dreamt of: being a hero. But he came to a new light, even after death…his smile, the first genuinely smile we got from him…It made me happy. It made me nostalgic, satisfied with the fact that he, who has suffered so much, finally was given the opportunity to shine, to be.

But then, immerse in that bliss…I could not help but think of Izuku. Compared what I felt for Katsuki in that moment with what I felt for Izuku…

and I felt so empty.

...

Izuku is so…miserable... right now.

I’ve loved his character since the first time I saw him back at that day when I was presented of the existence of Boku No Hero Academia. I remember beginning to read the manga and his character just made its space into my heart. I saw him overcoming obstacles, defying the prejudices everyone put him into, challenging and coming on top among his classmates, other heroes, becoming the true successor of the symbol of peace…but then, I saw the fog surrounding me.

At that point, back at chapter 256, I realized the situation we were: the beginning of the predestined and inevitable war.

Izuku was stronger than many, happier with his life...but there were traces of painful sadness in his words.

I could see that: there were so many things unspoken and unresolved topics about his character. What does he feel about himself? Did he feel strong at that point? How did he feel about the upcoming battle he had to face against AFO? What is the plan he has to reach out for Tomura? What about his self-sacrificial tendencies? Those are really gone or not? What about his health and body? What about gearshift and the deadly consequences it has to his body? What about his relationship with All Might? with Toshinori? Will he ever stop calling Katsuki by Kacchan? Does he still cling to that past he had with Katsuki when they were friends (before Katsuki manifestated his quirk)? There are still those insecurities he had before? Why does he insist so much that he must not cry? What about his father? Does he have any repercussions about the fact that he did not have a father figure for most of his life? Does he keep thinking of OFA as something special? What were those feelings about Katsuki that he felt that were ‘so gross’ and unworthy of addressing? What about his qurikless past self? How does he feel about his quirkless condition (reference to what he said to Kota back at chapter 72)? Has he ever thought about the bullying Katsuki put him through? What does he feel about that? Did he really forgive Katsuki?

Then, the war started. And I mean the totality of it: things were not being addressed: Everything become ‘battle’, ‘fight’, ‘live-or-die situations'...as it has to be, obviously. In the middle of a war, who in the world will rest for a few seconds to question their reality?

Everything was accelerating, moving.

Many died, many suffered. Including Izuku, whose pov was taken away from us. He went through his Dark Hero Era, his feelings were hidden at the most recondite space possible. He saw his friends and pro heroes bleed, his childhood friend thrown away there in the middle of the battlefield, presumably dead…His idol/father figure almost die at the hands of the greatest villain of all times while fighting with the most dangerous one out there who could touch the ground and destroy the whole world…then he saw how Katsuki got up and saved All Might, leaving him with more time and space to continue the battle…

At the newest chapter, we only got the scene where we see Izuku’s figure, demarcated and exhausted face, thinking how he can defeat ShigAFO.

I think that his character has gone through the correct path, but has cornered himself (or was cornered against his will) into this situation of exhaustion, with so many questions left unanswered, with his character left there with a hurricane of emotions that are not even explained and the readers have only actions to interpret from this.

While Katsuki has overcome his troubled-life and can smile, laugh af AFO's face proclaiming victory…Izuku can not.

Izuku was left behind, even though he was so far ahead of everyone. He can not smile, he can’t rest, can’t let his guard down, can’t even think for a moment what he has been feeling this whole time.

This is a situation, where sooner or later, Izuku will have to face all this things he never addressed even in the slightest…and I want to know how that situation will be.

I want to see him smile, see him become the hero, the symbol of hope he has always dream of to be…I want him to stand tall and strong, smile bright... next to Katsuki.. as it should have been all this time.

187 notes · View notes

chaotic-iguana · 8 months

Text

Refuge | chapter three.

series masterlist | previous chapter | next chapter | general masterlist

chapter three: damning rebirth

wordcount: 3.8k - my longest work yet lmao summary: what if reader and joel were married before the outbreak? warnings: angst, estrangement, anger, violence, sad, its like centered around finding yourself again, reader and joel are both quite complicated broken ppl im trying to do them justice, not much joel he’ll be in the next chapter i promise.

You didn’t speak to him for weeks after that first afternoon. You’d run out of words to say. You stopped speaking to his brother, too, for keeping you in the dark; ignoring Maria’s justifications, the constant droning of “…he did it to keep you safe, you know? So you wouldn’t leave Jackson’s safety and run after Joel. You could have died. Sarah’s death would have broken you, like it broke him, and you should be thankful that…”

You tuned her out after a while. It was getting tiring coming up with rude adjectives to describe how wrong she was in your head. There was no fight left in you to even protest, so you just left the room while she was talking. You loved her, but there were days you thought she just enjoyed hearing herself talk. Which she was extremely welcome to do, but with the acknowledgement that you would rather walk into a bloaters' den unarmed than sit through it.

Tommy had lied to you, kept the truth about your family from you, and no matter how many ways he spun it, it wouldn’t change the fact that when your first fucking words to him were asking about Joel and Sarah, he had looked you in the eyes and lied through his goddamn teeth when he said he didn’t know. He could go crying to Maria all he liked. You’d need a while not to recoil with disgust every time you saw him no matter how many times you got told to stop acting like a child. When Tommy realised the extent of your anger, he attempted to remedy it by telling you everything. Sarah getting shot on outbreak day - you still winced when he said it- and Joel’s time in the QZ, with a woman called Tess. You didn’t even know what to make of that. You probably couldn’t unpack your feelings about it if you tried. How he found the girl you’d gotten alarmed by - the job he got, how he took her in, how he lied to her and why she won’t look at him now.

You didn’t even bother forming opinions about any of it, let alone voice any. Thinking was futile; your thoughts or ideas or opinions or offense wouldn’t change anything, would they? You continued the same monotonous routine you had established for the past year or so since you arrived to Jackson, this time with even fewer occasions of leaving the house for a party or drink.

The shop and your bedroom became your life, the only people you spoke to were those looking for books. You’d collected them for years in the hope that if the outbreak ever got under control, there would be literature somewhere for humanity to remember what it used to be. Or perhaps a relic, serving as a legacy for a species long gone. Something, just to yell at the world and all those to come after, that you were here, even when you weren’t really. You hadn’t quite been here since the day the world had ended. Since the day you had lost everything. And now, twelve years later, all of it just came crashing back.

The pain was as if someone had crawled into your flesh, peeled your ribs back, and plucked your heart out.

Sarah had become less of a person and more of a concept to you over time. The intangibility that very literally gave you strength when you lay bruised and beaten, held down and overlooked by snarling strangers. She had been your salvation; your everything. Losing her wasn’t something you had truly came back from the first time around, suppressed guilt and fear and worry gnawing at the back of your mind. The reappearance of all of it, overshadowed this time by crippling guilt, was a cruel albeit welcome one. You wanted to feel bad - because much like Joel, it was what you deserved. You had failed - not only as a mother but as a wife, too. You should have just gone home on time that fucking night, but life got in the way as if often used to back then. All those little things that got blown out of proportion like work and deadlines and projects and careers didn’t even matter now. You should have come home. You should have been there.

You didn’t even want to imagine how Joel felt. To you, the ache was a phantom limb - trailing you wherever you went, interwoven with your shadow. To him, it was a stain on his hands that he never seemed to be able to rub out; he could always see a tinge of crimson coating his fingers, ever since that night.

Neither of you could look the other in the eye anymore.

Yet, even after all of it life simply went on, stuttering but still relentless in its proceedings. Pink, jagged scars marred the flesh of time as it stretched around the metalwork of the lives you had fought to keep, yet lost the worth of anyways. Fate is seldom kind.

It wasn’t too peculiar, this distance. Ironically, even after all these years, you both understood the other perfectly - as if each thought either of you had, each feeling you felt, was respected and loved and relayed by the refuge of your marriage, still. You understood that he was too ashamed by his self-proclaimed failure to speak to you, and he understood that the loss had so wholly devoured you that you wouldn’t have the strength to look in his eyes and be reminded of hers for a while.

The song and dance continued, the delicate persuasion of ensuring not to jolt the fragile existences the other had created for themselves. Joel didn’t come near your bookshop, and you didn’t go near Tommy, lest the words ‘family dinner’ be spoken into existence. Truly, he was idiot enough to suggest it. As if all that your currently brilliant (more like fractured) relationship with your husband (was he still? what about tess?) needed was a dinner with his brother, his sister in law, and the kid he had apparently adopted, lied to, and was now in a rough spot with. Gotta love reunions, no?

In another life, you would have stepped in. You would have spoken to either of them - perhaps even made more of an effort to include Ellie in your own life to ensure that after all she had been through, she wouldn’t feel alone even when she wasn’t doing well with Joel. In this life, though, you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Joel acted like a selfish, moronic liar, sure. But if this kid couldn’t see, that at his very core, he was just plain scared - that he practically shook in his (adorable) cowboy boots anytime someone mentioned what happened to Ellie - then, great, she deserved Joel not realising that it was her decision to save humanity; to pay the price, to do what it took; entirely independent of him, or anyone else. You tamped down on the cynical part of you sneering at the romantic heroism of it all. The world knew now, better than before, how selfish man was. How utterly human, for Joel to struggle to separate his feelings for his own daughter and the one he had taken in; for Ellie to be too caught up in her own view to even consider what Joel was going through. It was almost like one of those plays you used to enjoy reading - like a Greek tragedy. The hamartia of both heroes was humanity alone.

They’d come around, eventually. Joel and Sarah always did, too.

The irony lay mostly in the fact that you had spent a decade craving him - his comfort and his warmth. The kneading of his large hands on your back after a long day; the scratch of his stubble when he nuzzled into your neck from behind. The years you didn’t have him were spent with only him in mind; a mindless worship of the love you had. Now that he was within reach; close enough to grasp and curl your fingers around, to sink an burrow into; you were… lost. The desperation; the wild frenzy with which you had remembered only them through the years - to have lost one now leaves you clueless about what to do with the other. The cracks that have made their way into your heart - the ones tainting your soul - you see them reflected in him, too. Your first look into his dark eyes told you that he, too, has done too much to be standing here today; that his first kill, too, had been the man he once was. No wonder you can’t bear to look at each other anymore. The grief - not only of what you have both lost, or what you once had, but the grief of who you both used to be - rears its ugly head in any room you find yourselves in together. Look at me, it screams. Look at what the years have done to me. I can’t recognise myself in mirrors anymore. I don’t see who I used to be. I was so beautiful. I was so good. Look at me. Look at me. Look-

Is this how the angels felt when they fell? You’d never know - there were no angels; there was no God. What divinity would allow for any of this to happen? This joke, this mockery of nature. You never were religious, but fumbled prayers had found their way into your vocabulary every night when you didn’t know where Joel and Sarah were. You - who had never even stepped into a church had prayed.

You must have forgotten there was nobody sitting in the sky to listen.

You had made your peace with the mutual decision to avoid him and the girl - not only because you didn’t even know how to start apologizing to her-but because you were content with the mere knowledge that he was here, that he was alive and breathing.

Tommy’s guilt worked in your favor, ensuring that he didn’t try pairing you and Joel up for patrols - likely fearful of the fallout that might occur (but like, what could even happen? another apocalypse?) but the comedown of that meant that you were paired up with Fred, instead. A man who infuriated you to no end, one who found it extremely interesting that you were once married, that you have a child. Had.

His ceaseless questions made you want to rip your hair out, but you refrained - if only so he wouldn’t have another reason to put his arms around you to try ‘calming’ you like last time. He was a bastard, but you didn’t have it in you to challenge him just yet.

Your answers to his enquiries were grunted or simply monosyllabic, your irritation clear as day in the set of your jaw, the slant of your brow. Nevertheless, like the dumbfuck he was, he persisted. So then how was this your fault?

It had been a decent morning. You’d gotten up early in time for the patrol, taken a shower, drank some water and arrived at the stables. But as you stood outside, you could hear the commotion of people inside - boisterous cheering and laughing as if one would hear in a pub. Interest piqued, you inched your way to the entrance of the barn silently, trying to understand what was going on.

“…fuckin’ whore’s been leading me on for like half a year, turned out she was married the whole time. Dodged a bullet, though. Nearly lost her shit when he told her that her kid died. Went completely apeshit and ruined my goddamn shirt with her snot- nearly clawed through my arm, too. Feel bad for the poor husband, had to yell at everyone to get out just so he could calm her crazy ass down. Everyone’s lost someone, lady. Get over it, right? Plus, girl that age wouldn’t have done too well at a QZ, know what I mean? Wouldn’t have gone untouched, anyways.” He paused for them all to laugh at the supposed comedic gold in his words - him and his little pack of primitives - and all you could do was stand there, glued to the spot in shock.

The fucking audacity. Leading him on? You fucking tried your best to get him to stop talking to you, stop touching you - and you didn’t claw at his arm because you were crazy, you did it because you were fucking panicking and some idiot was making it worse by caging you in. And that was brushing aside what he said about Sarah. No, that had you seeing red, chest heaving.

Fuck, the old you would have broken his nose on the first day. Never is too late to do the right thing, is it?

Just like before, a laugh was forming in your chest. A giggle at first, before you were chuckling, clapping a hand to your mouth and horrified with your own humour. The joke here was priceless, though. See - the world had ended, God was dead, and you were worried about being lightly reprimanded? Fuck that, and fuck him. You hadn’t let yourself feel fear out there. You hadn’t let yourself feel despair, and you sure as hell hadn’t let yourself feel hope. Joel’s arrival forced you to confront all the pain you had ignored. This cunt of a man was managing to unearth all the anger you had neglected, too. His fucking funeral.

Your tongue sat agitated against your teeth in anticipation, waiting to give way to the venom lacing the words in your brain.

Fury sparked in your blood, washing away all your hesitation. Fragmented, she etched herself into the ring of black that blew out your pupils; the unfaltering thumping of your heart in your chest. The threads of your fate were now in her slender, silhouetted hands, and all that was left for you to do was obey. Not that you had a choice.

Before you could so much as blink, you had burst into the crowd. Fred’s eyes widened at the wild snarl on your face, begging and apologizing.

He was unaware, though, of just how sick you had become of apologies. Tommy’s apologies, Joel’s apologies, Maria’s shitty ones, and then the sympathetic apologies you’d been getting from customers because apparently word of Sarah and her role in your life had spread like wildfire throughout Jackson. Joel wouldn’t have shared it, nor would Tommy- not when he knew you were two seconds away from breaking his nose just weeks ago. That left the kid Joel bought-Ellie-or Fred. And something just told you it wasn’t the girl. You’d trust Joel’s judgement blindly any day.

His empty sorrys fell upon deaf ears, his trembling voice cracking as he repeated them over and over.

You grinned, baring your teeth.

“Hello, Fred. Hello, everyone. Having a party and I wasn’t even invited?” You pouted mockingly. “Y’ know what I personally think is absolutely, knee-slappingly hilarious?” You paused, watching their curiosity grow as they fell hook, line and sinker for the cheerful façade, furrowing ther brows in question and stepping in closer. “How untouched you look, asshat.” Your grin dropped just as you rocked back on your heels, surging forward within a split second while throwing all your weight into your fist.

Just as it collided with the asshat's jaw.

“What the fuck were you thinking? You’ve been…frazzled since Joel came back, fine, but I cannot excuse your behaviour just because I know you or because you’re family. This was absolutely out of line, is that clear?” Maria stopped her pacing to turn to you, expecting a justification or an apology. You offered neither. When you refused to so much as look up from your split knuckles, she threw her hands up, huffing at her husband, who was leaning against the table sheepishly while wincing every time her voice rose as she yelled at you.

The door swung open and Joel practically stumbled in, eyes searching wildly until they landed on you curled up on a chair with your hands in your lap. Did news seriously spread that fast, even now? Guess people don’t have much to do when the world has ended.

“Look- I know, I know you went through a lot. At first, you were spacey and Tommy told me to just leave it alone. Then, you got the bookshop and you just spent all your time there or on patrols, never even trying to integrate yourself here, and I’ve let it go because he-“ a finger in Tommy’s direction, “-begged me to. Let go of your little…tantrum with Ellie, too. I watched Tommy mope around and I said nothing even when you refused to accept that he hadn’t told you about Joel, for your own good.” Tommy flinched, but she went on. “I just can’t do it this time. You broke Fred’s jaw, you know? He is a contributing, well-liked citizen in Jackson. Not a recluse. I didn’t believe you’d done it until I saw the state of your hand. You’re always so quie-just-just give me one fucking reason you would punch him.” She was panting by the end, her chest falling rapidly under the weight of her own tirade.

Joel had planted himself directly between you and Maria, as if trying to protect you from the onslaught of her words. He looked more apologetic than you did, hands extending towards her while he took a deep breath, attempting to placate her.

“Maria-now just wait a damn minute, she wouldn’t-“

Was he defending you? When had that happened? When had you become this-this blubbering, weak version of yourself that Joel had to protect?

The cold, unforgiving numbness loosened its grip; fear, guilt but most strongly, shame coiling in your gut. Maria was right, in her own fucked up way. You had retreated so far back into yourself that all that was left within your grasp now was mere tendrils of who you used to be.

Sarah would have been proud of me for punching the bastard, though.

The thought rang in your mind as you raised your head, squared your shoulders. Took the stutter out of your voice, and looked Maria right in the eyes.

“Your contributing, well-liked citizen said Sarah was lucky to die. That she wouldn’t have gone untouched in a QZ. Whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. And thanks to how well liked he is, I didn’t get a chance to tell you that he’s been touching me for months. That he took advantage of the fact that I was too fucking broken to say anything, to anyone. It’s not like you would’ve believed me.” You watched both Millers’ faces harden, brows furrowing as fury began sinking her talons in their flesh. Joel looked murderous, jaw set at that angle you knew meant he was livid. Good. You had been, too. Tommy looked shocked, anger painting his features, and his wife just looked terrified, eyes darting from you to Joel, wide and panicked. It made you smile at her, the curl of your mouth dripping with condescension and mockery.

“Maria, I’m so sorry you’ve had to overlook this many…grievances, let’s call them. I’ll work on my attitude here, I promise. I’ll go to book club and gossip about my husband and my dead daughter. I’ll do my hair and cut my nails and smile at people who don’t fucking deserve it. Hell, I’ll even forgive Tommy.” You pause, nodding at him, watching the relief in his eyes. Smile dropping, you meet Maria’s gaze again.

“But here’s what I won’t do- I won’t stand in a room with that asshole again without breaking all the other bones in his body. I won’t stay quiet next time his hands are on me - I’ll snap his fucking neck. Anyone else with anything else to say about Sarah - even if it’s just goddamn condolences - will find themselves in a similar predicament. Is that clear?” She blinked at you, mouth wide open at the radical transformation in you as you spoke, taking so long to nod that you doubted she’d heard you at first. You didn’t blame her - you’d folded in on yourself, made yourself small these past few years. Become meek: looking at the floor, wringing your hands; doing absolutely anything to avoid confrontation or issue. You’d been too tired to fight or stand on your own two feet, and everyone had focused on the wobble in your voice; the wet lining in your eyes; the shake of your hands, and just decided that just because you chose not to challenge them, you weren’t capable of it. Fuck that.

Joel’s eyes shone as he looked at you, chin dipping in acknowledgment as he, too, had a stunned look on his face. You just shrugged back at him, swinging your legs and getting up, walking out of the house without so much as a glance over your shoulder.

The flame that had forged your spirit - the fire burning in your veins, the one snuffed out long ago - flickered back to life. Dim, shaky, practically translucent - but ignited.

And fuck, it felt good to be back.

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @imherefordeanandbones, @theywhowriteandknowthings, @josephquinnswhore, @breakfastatjoels, @millerscoffee, @nostalxgic, @sscorpiiio, @pedrosaidsheispunk, @its-nebuleuse, @sofiparallel, @mandoisapunk, @bastardmandennis, @pawnshopb1ues. dividers by me! series taglist (same rule: message/comment to be added or removed, no hard feelings): @spookyxsam, @obscurexsorrows, @planet-marz1, @lunxramour, @anavatazes, @joeldjarin, @stunkbiggu, @joels-darlin, @casa-boiardi, @noisynightmarepoetry, @chiogarza, @jasminedragoon, @daddy-din, @moonlightdivine, @stickthegremlin, @jamesmasbone, @avampiregf, @amanitacowboy

317 notes · View notes