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inbetweenimperfectmusings · 1 year

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And I can bear it all,

I can turn my back on it all,

His anger,

His pride,

His torrential rage,

Even his apathy,

All the while admitting it hurts, but

Mama,

Oh, mama

I cannot bear his tears.

No one told me acceptance came with tears.

So when they slipped out of his eyes,

So gently he didn’t even blink,

I had no rehearsed response to protect me from myself.

Medicine taught me compassion, it did not

Teach me how to love.

Pulling the fingers of my hand away from his cheek

My past is screaming for her overturned sacrifices.

His shoulders,

His broad back, unshakable

Racked with tremors,

Convulsing sobs,

I’ll haunt myself until the day I die.

Rocking back and forth as if stifling madness,

And when I couldn’t anymore,

Tightly covered my mouth and screamed into my hands.

It might have felt better to cut my chest out.

Short of breath I used what I had to beg over and over

The only way I knew

Allahumma inni as’aluka al’afiyah,

O Allah I ask you for afiyah,

Please make this easy for me.

I beg of you make this easy for me.

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hajihiko · 1 year

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Trust and belief and trust and belief and trust and belief and-

#Hajime hinata #Fuyuhiko kuzuryu #Sdr2 #Super danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa #Kuzuhina #God I'm so emotions these past days what is happening #Anyway here's comfort! For all the recent hurt hehe sry #Also I got inspired by my OWN art #From being papanorth. Which was specifically like ... different responses to different traumas #And a recent post about being patient and kind vs being passionate and reaffirming #An art #ANYWAY I have feelings and emotions sometimes! It's good times #It's a bit late but im posting anyway while my mood is high #Oh I forgot to include my own thoughts #Fuyuhiko is suspicious and assumes every unexpected touch is hostile. Except... hes learning not to.#Hajime has moments where he goes away for a bit and cant really engage with people. But... hes finding ways to ground himself as himself.

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knifeturtlelives · 7 months

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I agree with a lot of what's been said about the pacing (namely that this already great season could have been even better with an extra beat between eps 5 & 6, and likely another between 7 & 8) but I just want to take a second to remember what a fucking accomplishment this season is.

Like, just off the top of my head: they managed to expand the world-building of the show's pirate universe, add compelling new characters, deepen the central relationship in a genuinely complex and nuanced way with rich character arcs for both, at least suggest at greater complexity and emotional development for many of the background characters, and produce more expansive and technically challenging visuals including some very impressive action and crowd sequences. And they did all that with two fewer episodes, while still maintaining the original tone of the show and keeping run times under 30 minutes apiece.

It's not perfect, and they're not equally successful on all fronts, but it is extremely fucking good, and the fact that it gets anywhere close within those limitations is frankly an astounding artistic achievement

#ofmd #our flag means death #that said I am genuinely frustrated by how easy it would be to fix 99% of the remaining issues if they'd just been given a 10 ep season #but maybe I'll feel differently after the finale and I can view the thing as a whole #i believe 8 eps is standard for most of max’s original comedies #some day there needs to be a reckoning about why every streaming platform has some arbitrary episode order number they force on every show #not all stories require the same things!!#ofmd season 2

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ash-and-starlight · 6 months

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things i’m going crazay about today: the illustrations in the he who drowned the world illumicrate cover

(artist is glassbearer on ig)

#what’s sending me into hysterics is wANG??? ultimate twinkification 😭😭#i only recognized from his trademark horrid lettuce gown & faggy peach signaling #the difference between how i imagine/draw him and this is so nebfjsjfkwrkjsj #like to me he’s a tired dude with permanent eye bags and a caffeine addiction that started at age 9 #he’s barely 30 and looks 50 bc every day he wakes up in a torture nexus of his own making #being a straight faggot is hard work but someone has to do it #and is the other guy the third prince??? would make sense tbh but shouldn’t he be in his late teens #ig performative masculinity also ages you #(if i’m wrong and that’s esen PUT SOME BEEF ON MY MAN)#k rant over pushing this aside to tunnelvision on ZHU AND OUYANG #WHY ARE THEY DRAWN LIKE THEY’RE IN THE COVER OF A CAMPY ROMANCE NOVEL I LOVE IT #OUYANG SLUTTED OUT WHILE SUFFERING OH HES GETTING THE 15th CENTURY ART SAINT TREATMENT. AS HE SHOULD #love the benis metaphor of it all too he’s on his knees holding zhu’s sword i know what you are #zhu baby u look gorjus no notes #slay #anyway both /pos and /neg this sure is making me feel shrimp emotions lmfao #the radiant emperor #send post

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nullbutler · 2 months

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something something identity something something culture

#jumblr #jewblr #i dunno if this is the kind of thing that really belongs on my silly blog but ive been wanting to draw it for two days #this is just about feeling connection to culture #and i dunno i know the whole 'is judaism considered a race' thing is iffy as all hell #because it IS an ethnic group and i see it in basically every bloodline person ive met #there is a familiar look #our grandparents and babies look the exact same #of course converts are lovely and welcome and i'm not gatekeeping #but so long of just being like 'who am i? ah. i am nobody #i am a white girl from california who knows nothing of nothing' is a drastic understatement #i've dealt with anti semitism since i was a child #it has been everywhere #not many people understand it because its just...well we dont look that different (to the people who matter) (bad people can tell right awa #the immeasurable trauma of the holocaust and the weight of our grandparents and everything else is just so crushing...AND we look caucasian #is there no fate worse??? lmao #not saying i'm not caucasian of course i think two things can be true at once #but i think meeting someone and realizing we have the same face and with it faced the same hardship is really really meaningful #because to just say i'm some 'stupid white girl from california' is a butchering undercut of everything i actually am

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thelostgetfound-artemis · 4 months

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I find viewers' lack of understanding of Day's anger towards Night very interesting.

There seems to be a very black and white line drawn from some people of:

If Night is the direct cause for Day's blindness, then Day's anger is justified.

Vs

The post episode 9 belief that: it WAS an accident, and therefore Day's anger is not justified.

So I thought I'd simplify part of the motivation behind Days animosity towards his brother with some handy visual aids :))

Every episode leading up to the most recent one has told us as viewers time and time again, that Day does not want to be pitied, that he doesn't want to be treated differently.

He makes it very clear that he is aware the crash was an accident.

And if we set aside the extra layer of him feeling like his place as 'the good son' has been taken, then what we have left is this:

Night was not a doting, responsible older brother previously.

(That's not to say he's a bad person, the nuances to why he was this way is a different post entirely)

His shift to being mature and responsible IS a result of Day going blind.

While Night's change is completely understandable, it doesn't take away from the fact that, for Day it's a constant exposure to the one thing he said he fears from people. The thing that kept him hidden in his room and ignoring his friends for a year.

Your kindness is pity.

You never acted like a good older brother before.

Your actions say: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for you.

#last twilight #last twilight the series #day and night #i love night a lot #and he's in an impossible situation #but day has made it very clear he doesn't want to be treated differently #i had a similar situation with my own older brother #and the sudden change in treatment only makes every kindness feel false #day just needs time #art oh #my gifs to you

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starflungwaddledee · 5 months

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it's the day before my birthday, and my girlfriend surprised me with an outing to a local bird aviary/botanic gardens in the mountains!!!

this was an absolute delight for me, known bird enjoyer, and i got to have many cute and phenomenal birds perched on my head (which i loved and plushie magolor 'tolerated', on account of it being my birthday). i even got to see a nicobar pigeon, which i had never seen in person before!

they also surprised me with an early birthday present to use at the incredible mountain-top picnic spread my gf planned (😭😭) of this extraordinarily cute kirby themed liquid-glitter cup!!

and of course, in true starflung fashion i injured myself twice

once, not three minutes into the outing when my umbrella (which i only require because i'm allergic to both the sun and sunscreen) bit me, and my gf had to run to reception to get me a bandaid. later, when i just totally fkn stacked it on some loose gravel on a slope and i got the umbrella back by slamming it into the ground, along with my knees and one palm. but not the other palm, which was holding plushie magolor, who touched neither gravel nor dirt and never will while i still breathe!

#i am so accident prone and also stupidly fragile in every way. but i'm fine and i found both of these incidents hilarious!#i feel it is important that everybody know that my mum (who has dementia but recognises plushie magolor) asked “is that magolor” when-#she saw meta knight on the cup. i said “no that's meta knight” and she replied “oh i should have known. he's not as cute as magolor.”#and magolor's ego grew THREE TIMES that day let me tell you #the cup is also extremely important as a gift actually. i recently accidentally smashed a childhood glitter cup i've had my whole life #i adored it to bits; comfort item; it had toucans on it. i was quite devastated when it broke #but it's been impossible to replace (despite my gf's best efforts) and we knew no substitute would really hit the same.#but THIS is similar enough yet different enough and so *perfect* in its own right that it really... fills the spot.#my gf is phenomenal at gifts and surprises. truly she is unfathomable. i am so spoiled 🥺#7inch plushie magolor return to dreamland #he does have other bows btw!! he's been dressing up for halloween and christmas and such but this is his Party Bow!#starflungs personal tag

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 11 months

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*very very very heavy sigh*

*opens a Word doc to angrily write a Barnaby x Sans fanfic*

god gives the toughest battles to her weakest soldiers. its me im soldiers

#EVERY DAY I OPEN TUMBLR *punches wall*#ok seriously tho if you do write it. tag me. or send me the link whatever #id like to feel insane in a different way for a Minute #rambles from the bog #make sure it has so many bad jokes and puns that it kills me instantly

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good-beans · 7 months

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I know most of our focus goes (rightfully) to the trial songs, but I genuinely believe Baptism of Fire is equally a masterpiece of meaningful writing and intense vocal acting

Incoming tag rant because I need to yell about this, feel free to yell back

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #like the other vds have good writing about the character and whatever social issue their crime focuses on #but this one is very pointedly about YOU #its about the audience. its about the milgram project. its about self reflection. its about self-appointed roles. its about you #even if you didnt vote t1 or anything the whole things is calling on you to reflect on your own judgements of others #how you treat people who come off rougher. how you treat people who have made a (bad but) common mistake.#do you also find entertainment in seeing people dragged down and suffering because it would 'serve them right?'#but es always remains in control of the situation. the drama doesnt end with 'and fuuta was right - you guys suck!'#its clarified that situations are different and have nuance. we are reminded to look at things with nuance.#then we are smoothly re-immersed in the story #and then!! the acting itself!!!#arthur lounsbery put his whole fussy into that performance (<- fuuta pussy) and i am in his debt every day for it #in both his vds hes just super expressive and fun to listen to #i dont understand japanese but he packs so much interesting intonation and emotion into every word -- im obsessed listening to him #he nails all the subtle emotions fuuta has: the pouts and outrage as well as underlying fear grief insecurity and immaturity #and then baptism of fire hes just... Wailing #like mahiru has her innocent and pathetic cries of pain in her sweet voice that works for her character but fuutas pain feels much more raw #the way hes practically sobbing at the end -- his voice cracking and screeching throughout -- the whimper of pain #its so unbearably intense!! it hurts!! and its supposed to!! but hes just so raw with it #and dont even get me started on his pained hysteric laughter omg....#its just. a masterpiece.#i always appreciate the vds but i dont think ive enjoyed/relistened to one as much as this one #okay WAIT im back to add one more thing because im obsessed with ths idea of intentions #specifically in milgram i think the intention behind the murders are very important to consider #so i love love love the huge focus on 'i didnt expect/mean for this to happen'#plus as a general theme in fiction i think its sooo juicy when good intentions get fucked up #so i loved the repetition of that #fuuta is such a special case because he genuinely had no desire or expectation for his victim to die #(maybe kazui too? but he doesn't say so in his vd like fuuta does)

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kingofanemptyworld · 1 month

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grimmjow doesn’t really strike me as the kind of person who says I love you out loud, ever. partly because there’s a vulnerability to it that he can’t stomach and partly because he doesn’t put a lot of stock in words anymore. like, Ichigo’s promise during their fight, he doesn’t actually try to capitalize on it in canon, not really. maybe if they’d crossed paths before TYBW but who knows? point being he’s very much an actions speak louder than words person and when he and ichigo do get together (slow burn from hell as always) he just… doesn’t say it. but ichigo figures it out from the little things. and it’s not grimmjow being overly protective — he’ll shove Ichigo into the nearest nosy hollow and laugh if it tries taking a bite out of him because he’s well aware Ichigo’s in no danger — but it’s grimmjow sitting with him after a nightmare, a silent but sturdy rock for Ichigo to cling to until he calms down. it’s grimmjow putting the claws away around his sisters and letting yuzu boss him around in the kitchen. it’s grimmjow never looking more satisfied than he does when they clash swords, wild and fierce and hungry for whatever Ichigo can throw at him. grimmjow never says it but Ichigo knows how much he’s loved because grimmjow always comes back.

#king’s court #bleach #grimmichi #now Ichigo is funny to me for a different reason because I think he holds his feelings in #caged in for so long and piled on top of one another with no outlet #that one day it just explodes out of him #so he has one of those screaming I LOVE YOU YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE moments #and then every time he says it afterwards he’s so fucking embarrassed that he can barely get the words out

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bonefall · 7 months

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where’s that little horror piece about kits never growing up in Starclan? because I remember it so vividly but I can’t find it.

The one about Bright Stream?

Weird that it's so hard to find! It's probably because it's got such heavy tags lmao.

I really mean it though like, canon's permakitten system and the idea that Bright Stream is up there, forever taking care of fetus children who were filled by sudden knowledge and yet never grow past that point absolutely horrifies me. Jesus Christ. I don't know how anyone reads that final scene in Path of Stars and isn't filled with itching, white-hot existential dread, man.

Sometimes you just gotta write horror about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#partner and i were joking the other day about how like #they are the one known as The Horror Blogger and im the funny cat guy #because it's literally the opposite irl. you have NO idea #They are the one who is squeamish and I am the one that is like #only scared if there's 17 different kinds of existential horror #Which tbf is important in my line of work #But let me tell YOU. One thing that gets me every time? Fucked up afterlives #Probably from all the religious trauma but. Still.#''turns out your whole life is actually teetering on the precipice of a steep drop into the jaws of unknowable gods--#and their concept of omnibenevolent and omnimalevolent are self-defined''#''in death your life only has meaning to those still living and yet you're conscious to experience it''#''you will helplessly watch people you thought loved YOU reduce your memory into how you SERVED them''#''Powerless to stop it you will find that you were only valued as a tool in someone else's life''#''There is no peace in death just being tired and uncomfortable forever''#EURGH #It's why my most feared monsters are actually ghosts and vampires and certain zombies #Because it's not really about the monster it's more about what that monster implies for the afterlife #Certain zombies especially. ngl. Night of the livin dead 2 has the scariest ones ever #Intelligent. Violent. Able to FEEL themselves rotting and the only relief is to consume everything you ever loved #BRR #they did eat a bunch of cops tho so... at least they have that going for them #BONES MCRAMBLES IN THE TAGS #bone babble

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irritablepoe · 1 month

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I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME. I want someone to casually sit beside me and nudge me every now and then to get my attention. I want someone to pull me into a side-hug because they've been laughing about a joke of someone and want to share that joy with me. I want someone to carefully take my hand into theirs and look at my fingers or perhaps the lines on my hand just because they can. I want someone to look at me absentmindedly while they're thinking of something. I want someone to sit quietly beside me when I'm feeling down and just take my hand and squeeze it to tell me I'm not alone anymore.

#christ alive dhdhhsjwhddj this is so dumb🫠#I'm sorry #had a lil bit to drink and I'm feeling affectionate okay #also my brother had his last day of school and he's been telling me about his plans with his friends while-#- he has free time and I'm literally so nostalgic rn #like that free time was so nice #i was basically eating dinner with them out qnd about and been going to bars and stuff #also sitting at a lake and the park and the river almost every day like. those were the times fr #those were the times i wasn't a isolated bitch lmao #well i was. just not that much #hhhhhhhhhhhhh i miss my irl friends😭#if they're all back in germany we have to meet up literally omg🥲#but also... they've so different lives now. I'm such an outsider somehow and idk #i can't really connect with them as much as i used to #which is fine but. i don't have any other friends with whom i could meet up #maaaaaaan life's so complicated 😔#johnny's silly rambles #(also yes this is the kind of qp love i want plsplspls #)

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teeth-draws · 1 year

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Hhhhighschool au bus ride with trouble from @shepherds-of-haven ;;;; haha

#shepherds of haven #trouble alder #halle beren #if you were wondering why red and the others had such different styles it’s bc this is the missing link #thought I’d try and paint aka no lines! and a background! wild!#anyway in a hs au where their respective single parents are alive #trouble is supported and thriving as the king of social butterflies #she is less feral but also less confident and she pines for him night and day #she is positive he can’t be that thick and he just wants to be friends - every time she tries to ask him out he invites a group #hang in there girl #this will all come to a head where she swears off her feelings for him and finally starts dating the guy from her smart girl class #and trouble who has always kinda liked that tall redhead or whatever suddenly wants to crack his head in the door #-what’s he got that I don’t got?- but all the girls just laugh at him so he sulks #what do you mean you’re going to the library with him what about our Tuesday night taco tradition??? bruh #the vibe as always is energetic extrovert x introverted baddie #teenage trouble punches walls and that’s a shame but also can’t be untrue #here ig he’s like 17 and she’s 18?? they both live in the poorer district of the city and she uses his mum’s laundromat #it’s a fixture in the community and part of the reason he’s so nosy and earnestly involved with everyone #her ears are pierced so much to mimic THE halek prince of whom she has a picture of in her locker #she is overthinking which music to play on their shared earphones even though he’s off with the fairies #this is why AirPods suck like the intimacy of earphones is unparalleled it’s all about the lean #anyway no doubt years of on and off infatuation vs his obliviousness culminates in dating someone else and avoidance #until either his dad shows up out of nowhere and he bangs on her door in the rain OR like her dad does something extra depresso #and she goes to him straight away #then there is a dramatic confession at the school festival or something #or his mum whacks him over the head ig and makes him walk her home when it’s still awkward between them and he can’t stand the weird mood #also they were going to be wearing their school bags but I got tired lmao so they’re on the ground while they commute it’s fine #he ate her up though tbh lmao #as usual the tags are nonsensical there is so much moisturiser in my eyes I’ve been writing reports for hours and have met so many weirdos #her phone is the shiny drampa that rotted my brain enough for me to create her in it’s image when I was shiny hunting

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tautozhone · 11 days

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can argue to death with me about how age restrictions on youtube are necessary but i will be DAMNED before i say Hinds Hall deserved to be age restricted. average american child on youtube can listen to H*rbu D*rbu (censoring in hopes to avoid algorithm engagement with the song) which is IOF praising genocidal propaganda, and- big fucking shocker- its not age restricted. i’m 100% sure the only reason Hind’s Hall was restricted was to deliberately suppress and avoid the spread of the song.

#tauto talks #i know damn well that it doesn’t matter that it’s songs in different languages shit in arabic is not free from age restrictions just because #it would not take a kid much leg work for someone to find an english translation if they wanted it #pop culture has an inseparable impact on the public perception of so fucking much and it sucks to say but i bet some people hadn’t had #everything delivered in a way that made them care #macklemore has a weird history of social activism in his music i apologize every day for making fun of him in highschool for thrift shop #like his song kevin does a lot to tackle americas overprescription to addiction to jail or death pipeline #it is sympathetic to the experience of an addict in ways a lot of people generally in society are not #this song did a bit to turn perspective to industries at fault and not the individual suffering #so watching hinds hall be age restricted? feels deliberate. as every move of suppression has felt #feeling particularly full of grief and hate today because i graduate soon #i can only think of every writer like me who did not get to see the stage like i will and it aches #stories the world will never see because it removed the chance #it’s almost like the youth of america are some of the most vibrant and opinionated and energetic parts of the population. youth affords time #change spreading like wildfire cannot be put out as fast as it grows #keep burning #free palestine #palestine #gaza genocide #free gaza #eyes on rafah #eyes on sudan #eyes on congo #eyes on darfur #liberate the world #hoping a swift but painful death to colonization

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greencarnation · 7 months

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My mother refuses to watch any of the videos coming out of Palestine, and she refuses to read the details of the horrors happening there.

I tell her she has to - people are being slaughtered, we cannot look away even for a moment. She says she can't handle it. She says she'll break down, and then she'll be of no use to anybody.

Today she managed to raise £700 for Medical Aid Palestine, while I was too busy crying.

Maybe my mum still knows best.

#i do still think it's important to watch the videos though #palestinians are begging us to listen and pay attention and i think ignoring it for your own comfort is shitty and cowardly #but. something to think about i guess #how to maximize your help. sometimes that is stepping back #my mums quite excessive with it though like normally she refuses to engage with the news at all #the only reason she has any idea whats happening is because i tell her every day #idk i'm very proud of my mum though ig and the point is everyone can help in different ways #gaza #palestine #israel #free palestine #ceasefire now #mental health #world news #politics #god i feel like i am going crazy

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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oh god wait. so if the episodes are "days" to the puppets, and traditionally, new episodes air once per week... then are the puppets only ever awake for one day per week? if that, cause wouldn't episodes only be about an hour long, probs less? so they're awake for however long it takes to film one episode, and then they sleep until the next.

and if Wally doesn't sleep...

#h. hold on a second hold. i need a minute hold on-#is wally awake and alone in the dark for a week at a time #waiting for his next chance to see his friends. to see anyone at all other than Home #how does it feel to him when he goes an episode - maybe multiple without seeing certain neighbors #bc it was implied on the website that some episodes don't have every character interact with wally during his shenanigans #oh fuck and if the show Ended... and he continued on... how many years has he been in the empty dark with only creaks for company #sobs loudly i cant do this-#welcome home #welcome home puppet show #i really hope they get to be awake each 'day'#i put it in quotes bc wasnt it also implied that their days are vastly different from ours #but they probably arent. theyre probably sleeping for a full week at a time #clawing at the walls over this im so emotional #do you think wally like... goes to their houses to visit them while they sleep #hm now im remembering that barnaby and wally sleepover piece clown drew #and im seeing it in an Entirely new and Vastly More Sad light

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