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chickensarentcheap · 4 months

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Lost and Found- Chapter 26

Fandom: Extraction

Pairing: Tyler Rake and Esme Drummond (established OFC. However, you do not need to read the other fics to understand this one)

Tagging: @tragiclyhip @themaradwrites @secretaryunpaid @youflickedtooharddamnit @munstysmind @residentdormouse @thebejeweledwatercat @asirensrage @theesirenteller @ninjasawakenedmystar @alisbackalleybbq @arrthurpendragon @ocappreciation @occommunity @fanficanatic-tw @karimac @kmc1989

Warnings: profanity, brief mentions of blood, bruises, scrapes, cuts. Nothing major.

Link to Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43179357/chapters/134444914

My tag list is OPEN. Please just message me or comment on this post to be added :D

*****

The house is one of half a dozen Nik has collected around the world; located on the Amalfi Coast along the southern edge of Italy’s Sorrentine peninsula. A highly secure five-bedroom, six-bathroom villa that backs onto a cliff that overlooks the Tyrrhenian Sea; built a kilometre from the main road and hidden from sight by a dense, expansive lemon grove.

Despite the years of both work experience and friendship, he had never set foot in any of her homes; business always being conducted in neutral yet secretive places, over the telephone, or even -years before- at his old shack in the outback. They have always travelled in different circles; Nik’s beyond-the-job friendships extending to powerful politicians, multi-million and billionaire businessmen, heads of organized crime and the shady, top-notch lawyers that defended them. Tyler prefers to stick with the couple of buddies he’s known for years; the ones that he can trust with nearly every one of his darkest and deepest secrets. Koen and Rata both serving with him in the ‘normal’ ranks of the Australian Army before he secured his place with SASR. The former his direct superior officer for several years; since the day he’d shown up at boot camp as a cocky, wet-behind-the-years eighteen-year-old.

While Nik prefers the sophisticated, luxurious life that being a gun runner and the head of her mercenary business provides her, Tyler has always lived well below his means. Able to afford much more than that shack in the outback and even the house in the Broome, but never feeling the need for something more expensive and flashy. Even keeping the same old pickup he’d had since he was a teenager; doing his own repairs for nearly two decades before finally running the old girl into the ground.

Their distinct differences had prevented him from developing something more with Nik; drawn instead to the normalcy and practicality that Esme brought into his life. She had always longed for a much simpler and quieter existence; preferring not to draw attention to herself and never surrounding herself with those that they encountered in their respective careers Somehow managing to keep the two sides of her life -of HERSELF- completely separate; leaving the job behind the second a mission wrapped and able to -no matter how brief- enjoy a normal life. The job didn’t control her, and she didn’t obsess over her successes and failures. Indulging instead in all the little moments that came with routine and domesticity. Nik, however, was unable ever to let the job go. Spending every waking moment immersing herself in the lifestyle and enjoying its spoils. And she certainly never entertained the idea or wish of something more beyond it; laughing off any suggestion that perhaps marriage and children and settling down were somewhere in her cards.

He had never realized he wanted any of that either; his first marriage had crashed and burned, and he’d been a complete and utter failure as a father. But then he’d met Esme, and everything quickly changed. HE changed. Finding himself both mesmerized and intrigued by the love and joy she somehow still possessed for life and everyone in it, the whimsy she possessed, and those hopeful and wistful dreams that she carried with her everywhere she went.

THAT was someone he could see carving out a future with.

Upon arrival, he reluctantly puts his trust in the medic to ‘deliver’ Esme to the waiting doctor; a longtime colleague of Nik’s who has attended to many injuries -both minor and life-threatening and everything in between- over the course of the last decade and a half. The largest of the villa’s guest rooms is already prepared and stocked with various medical equipment and supplies: a machine to monitor vitals, an IV stand and a pain medicine pump. And it isn’t until that moment that he’s able to register his discomfort; plagued by near-crippling mental and physical exhaustion. His entire body screaming in pain; his lower back on fire, both his knees stiff and painful, and his head pounding from a likely concussion of his own. Yet he knows sleep will likely elude him. Plagued by a potent mixture of emotions; the profound worry for Esme, the lingering regret and guilt for his choices, and his momentary lapse of judgement. And a rage that remains on a low boil when it comes to both Alessio, his actions, and Winston’s betrayal and the words he’d spoken in the basement.

Instead of allowing himself to second-guess his decisions and plot revenge, he focuses on Millie. Carefully unbuckling her from the booster seat in the back of one of Nik’s many chauffeured cars, easily lifting her with one arm and tucking her tight into his chest. Her legs and arms dangle loosely as her head rests on his shoulder; not offering up even the slightest of flinches or mumbles when he tosses her sequined unicorn backpack -full of her art supplies, finished pictures, and her beloved doll and koala bear- over his shoulder.

“Her room’s the first one at the top of the stairs.” Nik nods toward the central staircase; gleaming white and gray marble accompanied by polished steel handrails and glass panels. “On the right.”

It makes the bitterness return; the realization that Millie has her own ‘place’ in Nik’s home. An expansive and beautiful suite fit for a princess, decorated in all of her favourite colours, holding all of her favourite toys and belongings, the closets filled with her clothes. He had been robbed of all of that; never getting the chance to put a crib together, change a single diaper, put her in a bubble gum pink onesie, or slip one of those ridiculous flowered headbands onto her head. He never got to tuck her in and read her a bedtime story; he was never able to help with potty training or assist with brushing her teeth. He hadn’t witnessed her going from rolling from back to front and side to side to sitting up and eventually pulling up into a stand. He wasn’t there when she’d taken her first steps, hadn’t seen her learning to run, and hadn’t heard her first words.

So many missed opportunities. Things that others had been blessed to experience. While he’d never even known of her existence.

He uses a hip to push open the door and an elbow to flick on the light. The room is enormous; possessing its own walk-in closet and ensuite bath and a separate crafting area sectioned off with a dinosaur AND princess-themed room divider. An entire wall is taken up with built-in shelves, hosting books, stuffed animals, and a wide selection of Barbie dolls, action figures, and matchbox cars. A wrought iron canopy bed sits in the middle of the room and atop a three-stepped platform; the frame decorated with pink and gray camouflage drapes and the mattress covered in a Batman comforter.

Tossing the backpack in a nearby chair, he climbs the steps to the bed; Millie clutched to his chest with one arm as his free hand pulls back the blankets and flat sheet. And she gives a slight whimper and a heavy sigh when he places her in the middle of the mattress; her eyes flickering open as she lets out a long, soft “daddy” and reaches up for him.

Time seems to stand still. His entire body tenses as the emotions -profound and overwhelming- rush through him. It’s been a long time since he’s been called that; over a decade since Austin had addressed him that way during his last weeks in the hospital as the cancer ravaged him. Esme had been the one who’d given him a semblance of hope; that one day he’d once more be given that title and he’d hear the word come out of a little one’s mouth. When she left, that dream had evaporated; gone was the one person he could ever see making that kind of commitment and building that kind of future with. And while Millie may not be fully aware of what she’s saying in a semi-conscious moment, it still nearly brings him to his knees; tears welling in his eyes as his throat tightens and his heart hammers within his chest.

Grumbling her displeasure of being awakened, Millie sits up in bed; her brow furrowed and eyes half closed, a pout curving her lips. Stuck in a state of disorientation and confusion as she glances around the room. “Where are we?”

“We’re at Auntie Nik’s house. The one in Italy. Remember how I told you? About how we were going to stay here for a few days?”

“Oh…” Yawning noisily, she presses the heels of her palms into her eyes. “...yeah…I remember. Where’s momma?”

“The doctor is taking a look at her. Just to make sure she’s doing alright. Then she’s going to sleep. Just like you’re going to. You want jammies on or are you just gonna sleep in your clothes or…?”

“Jammies, please. Where’s Franklin? And Posie? I can’t sleep without Franklin or Posie. Posie needs her jammies on, too. They’re with mine. They match.”

Collecting the doll and koala out of the backpack, he drops them on the bed. “And the jammies…”

“In my dresser. Top middle drawer.”

He searches for pyjamas for both her and the doll, finally locating matching nightgowns: white cotton with thin straps, the fabric emblazoned with colourful butterflies.

“Those are my favourite!” Millie enthuses, as she wriggles out of her clothes. “Mommy made those for us! Out of pillowcases! They’re really supposed to be dresses, but I always liked wearing them as jammies. So does Posie.”

“Your mum’s a pretty talented one, isn’t she?”

“Most of the time. Just don’t ask her to cook. She’s not very good at that. At all. My dirty clothes go in there…” She nods towards the ensuite bathroom.. “...that’s where the washer and dryer are.”

“You have your own washer and dryer? You're four.”

“It’s not like I know how to use them. They’re just there. For convenience, I guess. Well, I do know HOW to put stuff in the wash and in the dryer. I just can’t reach to turn them on.”

“You are way too smart for your own good.”

“Mom says that all the time.”

Retreating to the ensuite, tossing the clothes into the washer; leaving the door open for more to be added later. And when he returns to the bedroom, both Millie and the doll are already in their pyjamas; the four-year-old waiting in bed with a hairbrush in one hand, and a package of elastics in the other.

“We have to do my hair. Or it gets really knotted when I’m asleep and then it’s really hard to brush it in when I get up.. And it hurts like hell too! Do you know how to braid hair?”

“No.”

“I can teach you!”

“How about we leave that for tomorrow? When it’s not so late. Think maybe we could do something else with it? Put it in a bun or a ponytail or…?”

“Ponytail is alright. But you gotta put it up on the top of my head, or I can’t sleep. ‘Cause it hurts to lie on it.”

He gingerly and patiently works the brush through Millie’s tresses, then gathers it in both hands and secures it with the hair tie she passes to him. It’s a simple experience shared with his daughter, yet it brings back vivid memories of similar moments with her mother. Those times when Esme would be busy in the kitchen; focused on a recipe she was trying to recreate or the baking that had that little cabin filled with delicious aromas. He’d approach her from behind; sneaking a kiss to her cheek or temple before putting her hair back for her.

“What else?”

“I gotta brush my teeth.”

“How ‘bout we skip it tonight?”

“Momma won’t like that.”

“I won’t tell her if you won’t. We’ll just make sure you brush them twice as long after breakfast.”

“Does that work? Does it really make up for not doing it before bed?”

“Of course. Would I lie to you?”

Millie shakes her head, ponytail swaying from side to side.

“So does your mum read a story to you or…?”

“Sometimes. Not every night. Only if I ask. I’m too tired tonight. No stories. But thank you.”

“Do you want me to just tuck you in or…?”

“Will you snuggle with me? Just for a little bit? It’s been a really bad day, and I’m still super sad. I need a snuggle. A really good one. And momma can’t do it, so…”

He agrees to the snuggle; moving towards the door in order to shut off the lights, pauses with his hand on the switch. “You got a night light or something?”

“Nope. I’m not scared of that dark, daddy. I’m not a baby!”

He wants to tell her that yes, she is. That she’s HIS baby. How regardless of how old she gets and how many children she has of her own, she always WILL be. And while the first time being called daddy had been a shock, the second occurrence hits even harder; the realization that it was a fully conscious decision on Millie’s part and not just a slip of the tongue… a random moment…while still teetering on the edge of sleep. He’s thankful for the darkness that envelopes the room when he turns off the light, able to hide the tears sparkling in his eyes and the millions of questions a very observant Millie will lob at him. And climbing into bed beside her, he wraps both arms around her; that tiny body snuggling tightly against him, doll and bear under one arm, her face nestled in his ribs.

“You good?”

“I’m good. You’re nice and warm. And comfy. You make me feel safe. Like I don’t have anything to be scared of.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. No one can hurt you anymore. I won’t let them.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. And I’d promise with a million pinkie promises.”

“That’s a lot!”

“That’s how honest I’m being. You and your mum ARE safe. And I’ll make sure you stay that way. I won’t let anyone hurt you guys. And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for either of you. You know that, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Nuzzling her face against his side, she places her free hand on his chest. “Will you draw on my back? Please? It helps me sleep.”

He obliges, his own eyes closing as his fingertips create random patterns on her back. Several minutes passing before she yawns and raises her head to look at him, eyes sparkling in the moonlight that streams through the curtains.

“Daddy?”

“Millie?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“I’ll go to sleep AFTER I ask my question.”

“What is it?”

“You and momma lived together, right? Before I came along? In Australia?”

“We did.”

“In the house you live in now?”

“No. A different house. In a different part of Australia.”

“But the house you live in now is the house we are ALL going to live in? Or do we have to get a new one?”

“We won’t have to get a new one for a while. There’s enough room for all of us. And maybe one or two more people.”

“That means you and momma can start having babies!”

“That’s something your mum and I would have to talk about. I don’t know if she’s quite ready for that. Having babies.”

“Well, I hope she’s ready soon. ‘Cause I really want to be a big sister. And I’m not getting any younger!”

“If you think you’re not getting any younger, how do you think I feel? I’m way older than you are.”

“How much older?”

“A lot.”

“How much is that? How old ARE you?”

“I’m forty.”

“Holy shit!”

“Excuse you? Forty’s not THAT old.”

“It’s middle age! You’re older than momma!”

“I am.”

“Momma’s only thirty-four. But she’s going to be thirty-five soon. Maybe we can have a party for her. For her birthday.”

“I don’t see why we couldn’t.”

“We can even make her a birthday cake and put up balloons and streamers and play games! We can even take her out for dinner!”

“You got it all planned, do you?”

“Most of it. I don’t know about the guest list, though.”

“That’s something we can talk about when it’s closer to the time. For now….” He drops a kiss on the top of her head. “...it’s time for bed. It’s late. And it’s been a really long day. Time to sleep, okay?”

“Okay.” Pushing herself up onto her elbow, she pecks his cheek, followed by the corner of his mouth. Her face buried in his ribs as she once more lies down next to him. “Goodnight, daddy. Love you.”

Tears threaten once more. “I love you, too. So very much.”

*****

He’s teetering on the edge of sleep when a soft knock comes to the door; Nik standing on the threshold, motioning for him to join her and the doctor in the hallway. Carefully slipping from under Millie’s arm and out of bed, he tucks the blankets around her slumbering form and then leans down to press a kiss to her forehead. Reluctantly leaving her side, he joins Nikand the doctor in the hallway, quietly shutting the door behind him.

“How’s she doing?” Nik inquires, her voice scarcely above a whisper.

“She’s finally asleep. I don’t know where she gets all that energy from. She wore me out a long time ago.”

“You’ve got your work cut out for you, daddy. She’s cute as hell, but she can be a real handful. And you’ve just been thrown right to the wolves.”

“Esme?” Tyler addresses the doctor. “ How is she?”

“Very lucky. Considering the intensity of the crash and the damage done to the vehicle, I’m surprised we’re not looking at life-threatening injuries. If not worse.”

“Anything I need to worry about or…?”

“For the most part, I agree with the medic’s findings. There’s no sign of internal bleeding, and there’s no dilation of the pupils, slurred speech, or difficulties with reflexes. And no confusion; she was able to tell me her full name, what day, month, and year it was, and give a very detailed description of what exactly happened. Ruling out a brain injury, the diagnosis remains the same; whiplash and a moderate to severe concussion. Both should begin to ease within the next few days. I do suspect a bruised liver and spleen, however. I’ll be able to monitor those over the next forty-eight hours. For any sign of tearing or rupture.”

“He does think the sternum is broken,” Nik pipes up. “Based on the severity of the pain. And limited movement.”

“Nothing more than a hairline fracture,” the Doctor explains. “And nothing that we could repair surgically or even cast for. The best course of action is none; just letting it heal on its own. She’ll need to rest it for at least four weeks; no lifting anything over ten pounds, no repetitive movement. She can wear a sling if she finds it lessens the discomfort. As far as I can tell, the majority of the pain is actually from the contusion caused by the seat belt; deep and prolific bruising from the top of her shoulder, running diagonally to the left hip. I have her on IV antibiotics and pain meds for the next twenty-four hours; after that I’ll be able to switch her to oral medication.”

“Can she eat or drink? If she wakes up hungry or thirsty…?”

“She’s allowed both solids and liquid. I suggest keeping meals small and light. Her system is in shock from the amount of injuries and the pain; anything too heavy could cause stomach upset. And preventing further discomfort is important at this time.”

“And how long will we have to stay here? When can I take her home?”

“Within a week, she should be able to move around quite freely and without much difficulty or pain. I wouldn’t suggest flying any sooner than that; the altitude would put pressure on the brain, and with the concussion, it could cause severe issues. Swelling, blood clots, aneurysms. It’s safer to wait seven days. After that, even when home, you’ll have to keep an eye on her; make sure she stays on top of her meds, and follows the rules when it comes to healing properly.”

“But she’s going to be okay? She’ll be back to normal? Eventually?”

“She’s young and healthy. There’s nothing to suggest she WON’T be back to normal. Just keep an eye out for anything that suggests trouble; severe headaches beyond what a concussion would provide, any unexplained swelling and redness anywhere on the body, a high fever, speech issues, or any loss of consciousness. If any of those happen, she has to be seen immediately. Wherever you are. Now…” Tilting his head to the side, his eyes narrow as he takes in the various bruises and cuts on Tyler’s neck and face. “...perhaps I should take a look at YOU now.”

“You don’t need to. I’m fine. I cleaned myself up. Fixed what I could. I don’t…”

“You should be looked at,” Nik gently persuades. “Esme wasn’t the only one in that accident. You’re pretty banged up. Just let the doctor take a look and…”

“I said I’m fine.” His voice stern. Harsher than it needs to be. “I’ve gone through a lot worse. And lived to tell about it. All I really need is some sleep.”

“If you have your own concussion or some internal damage or…”

Ignoring Nik, he once more addresses the doctor. “I’ll let you know if I start feeling worse. Right now, I’m just tired. I just need to rest. It’s been a hell of a long day. Thank you,” He offers his hand. “For taking care of her. If anything had have been seriously wrong…”

“She’s going to make a full recovery. And because of her good health and how she’s taken care of herself throughout her life, she’ll likely heal faster than most. Right now, rest and relaxation are her best friends. And keeping up with a med schedule. I’ve left my home and cell numbers on the nightstand in the bedroom; call if you have even the slightest bit of concern. I’ll be right over.”

Nodding in both appreciation and farewell, he turns on his heel to head for the bedroom next door.

“Tyler…wait…”

“Nik, not tonight. I’m not in the mood for this shit. I’m tired, and I’m sore, and I desperately need at least a few hours of sleep.”

“I wasn’t going to…”

“I don’t need to have the doctor look at me, and I sure as hell don’t need you getting on my ass. So if you're even thinking about bringing up me leaving when all this is over…”

“Actually, I WAS going to say that I had your things brought to the room. And that there are fresh towels and facecloths in the bathroom. I would have had one of the other guest suites made up, but I already knew you would argue with me; that you wouldn’t want to be away from her.”

“Despite how rough things have been…between us…I do appreciate it, Nik. Everything that you’ve done. Especially in the last few days. I don’t agree with what you did; not letting me know that Esme was alive and that I had a kid out there. And it’s going to take me a hell of a long time to get over it. I can’t pretend I’m not pissed off. That I’m not hurt. I can’t just turn all that off, you know? It isn’t something I can just forgive.”

“I couldn’t betray her trust. Not even for you. She relied on me; to keep her and Millie safe. And I…”

“Safe from who? Me? I wasn’t a threat to them. You didn’t need to protect them from me.”

“She wanted to protect you. She thought she was doing the right thing. And whether I agreed with that or not…”

“I’m not going to get into this right now. I just can’t do it. I’ve said everything I needed to say. Other than thank you. For taking care of her and Millie. Keeping them safe. You didn’t have to step up like that, but you did. And if it wasn’t for you, who knows where they’d be right now. Kinda scares me to even think about it.”

“I took care of them for YOU. Because I knew one day she’d track you down and you’d get that chance; to be a family and grow old together. I WANTED that for you, Tyler. I wanted you to get your ‘happy ever after.’ And I’ve never seen you as just a commodity. You’ve always been more than that. Much more.”

“I want to believe that, Nik. I do. But right now…”

“You’re hurt. You’re angry. And you’ve got every right to feel those things. I just hope one day you’ll realize what I did, I did for them and YOU. Try and get some rest. It’s been a long day. And Millie is going to have you up and bright and early, believe me.” “If it’s before the crack of dawn, I’m sending her to you.”

“Don’t even think about it. I plan on sleeping until noon.”

“You’re gonna up with the sun, and you know it. It’s just who you are. The way you’re made.”

“Try and relax, Tyler. It’s safe here. THEY’RE safe.”

“Sometimes that’s easier said than done.”

“In a week’s time, you’ll be back home. With your family. The chances of any threats finding you there…”

“There’s always a chance, Nik. You know that.”

“I’ll do what I can. When it comes to handling things in New York City. Making sure the trouble stays there. And once things settle down…for good…that’s it. You’re free.”

“Only if you’ll let me be.”

“It’ll be hard to let you go. We’ve been through a lot together. SEEN a lot.”

“You should know by now that you can’t get rid of me THAT easy. After all, you’re Auntie Nik, yeah? Something tells me Millie wouldn’t stand for you just up and disappearing.”

“She doesn’t have to worry about that. She’s my family. So is her mom. And so are you. Sleep well. You’ve earned it.”

Nodding in agreement and apprehension, he moves towards the guest room, hesitating as his fingers curl around the door handle, and just as Nik steps onto the top landing of the stairs. “Nik?”

She hesitates.

“Thank you.”

She manages a weary smile. “Goodnight, Tyler.”

*****

A long, hot shower makes him feel almost human again. Thirty minutes spent standing motionless under a punishing stream of hot water as it not only rid his hair and body of remaining remnants of debris and blood, but brought some relief to his lower back, base of his skull, and both shoulders. Afterwards in the light of the bathroom, he’s able to better assess the damage done to his body; various cuts and abrasions along both arms and legs, large bruises on the front and backs of his thighs and in the middle of his back, several smaller across his collarbone. A perfect impression of the steering wheel -and its emblem- covers the majority of his sternum, and the skin on the left side of his rib cage has begun to turn vivid, various shades of purple and blue. Far surpassing the damage done in Georgia and Vienna, even WITH the gunshot to his hand and to his lower left abdomen. The latter missing all vital organs and lodging near his hip; an easy removal for the medical team at the Graz-Karlau prison. Barely leaving a scar behind and requiring a very short rest and recovery time.

He navigates the bedroom by both the streaks of moonlight that spill through the window coverings and the glow given off by the portable ECG machine monitoring Esme’s vitals. Rummaging through the rucksack; he locates the lone pair of sweats he’d packed for his initial business trip; grimacing at the stiffness in his knees and discomfort in his back as he steps into them. The bed -more expansive than an average king- is more than large enough for both of them to sleep in, and for her to be kept safe from his tossing and turning; eager to spare her an errant elbow to the back or stomach or a knee into a thigh. And he creeps to her side, watching as she sleeps soundly; light, peaceful smile curving her lips’ with her face turned towards the window. The soft, silvery sheen the moon casts upon her face shows off the various cuts and bruises that she’d incurred earlier in the day; the vivid purple and blue upon her forehead, across the bridge of her nose, and on the tops of both cheeks and under one eye.

It’s painful to look at; the mere thought of her injured and in discomfort nearly splitting his heart in two. Hating his perceived negligence and failure to keep her safe had led her to this; hooked up to various wires and tubes from the IV and pain. Hurting far worse than he’d ever expected it to; believing that watching his son suffer and waste away had steeled him against witnessing someone experiencing pain and illness. But it aches to his very soul; twisting and wrenching at his guts and a sorrow -for someone who is still very much alive- creating a death grip around his heart. And emotion chokes at him as he crouches at the side of the bed; smoothing a hand over her hair and laying his palm on the top of her head, thumb repeatedly brushing across her brow.

“I’m so sorry, Me.” He grazes his knuckles over her bruised and swollen cheek. “I am so fucking sorry.”

She murmurs in her sleep, then releases a long, soft sigh as she nestles her cheek into his palm.

“And I’m sorry for being as angry and as hurt as I am. I know you did the best you could; that you left because you were scared, and you wanted to protect me. But you kept my daughter from me. When there was no reason to. And I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get over that. If I ever really do. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I have ALWAYS loved you. Those five years changed nothing.” Leaning forward, he presses a lingering kiss to her brow, then to her lips. “You sleep, okay? ‘Cause that’s the only way you’re gonna get better. Because that’s what Millie needs; her mom back to normal. And I need that too.” He pulls back with a heavy sigh; running the tip of his index finger down the bridge of her nose. “This is all going to be over soon. I promise. There’s nothing for you to be scared of anymore. No one can hurt you now. And they won’t hurt you EVER again.”

His knees crack, and he bites back the pain as he stands. The limp in his right leg more pronounced as he retreats to his side of the bed, peeling back the layers of blankets and slides underneath. His body is sore and weary, and his head immediately sinks into the pillow; the case and the crisp, linen sheets cool and refreshing against his skin. He’s never experienced this level of exhaustion; not even during the months of tedious and often agonizing physical therapy sessions that had preceded his release from the hospital in Dubai. It’s a tiredness that is bone…SOUL…deep; both limbs and eyes feeling impossibly heavy, his own body seeming rooted to its place. And despite the years of frequent bouts of insomnia, it isn’t long before rest claims him. Lulled to sleep by the faint beeping of the EKG machine, Esme’s soft rhythmic breathing, and the rolling of the waves as they wash up onto the shore.

*****

He sleeps soundly despite the pain and only over-the-counter pills to dull it, stirring only once when the nurse crept into the room in the dead of the night to change Esme’s IV and med bag and then reset the pump. He remembers a brief, exhausted chat; the nurse apologizing for waking him, the exchange of pleasantries, and his peppering of questions in regards to Esme’s vitals and the continued care she’ll be receiving. Already back asleep before the woman even finished her duties and slipped from the room. When he finally wakes for the day, it’s courtesy of a tiny hand repeatedly -and remarkably vigorously- shaking him and a tiny voice calling his name. And cracking open his eyes, he moans in discomfort when he’s immediately greeted by the sun’s harsh rays, followed by Millie’s wide, beaming smile as she stands at the side of the bed. Clad in her pyjamas with her doll under one arm, teddy under the other; her high ponytail having loosened in her sleep and now sitting at an awkward angle on the side of her head.

“Hi!” she chirps. “Hi, daddy.”

“Hey…”

“Did you sleep good?”

“Better than I expected to. Is something wrong?”

“Nope.”

“You’re okay?”

Millie nods.

“What are you doing? What…?”

“I’m hungry. My tum is complaining.REALLY loud. I went downstairs and looked for Carmen, but I couldn’t find her. And there’s no brekkie waiting in the kitchen. Usually, she has brekkie finished and waiting for me.”

“Who’s Carmen?”

“Auntie Nik’s cook.”

“Auntie Nik has a cook?”

“And someone that shops for her, someone that books all her appointments, a chauffeur, and a maid.”

“What does she do? If she has all those people doing everything for her?”

“Wears nice clothes and kicks butt and takes names.”

“Is that what you’re going to be like? When you’re older?”

“I’m already like that.”

Chuckling, he reaches out to playfully tug on her ponytail. “So I guess this means I better get my ass up, yeah? Can’t exactly do stuff on your own.”

“I CAN make my own breakfast. Well, just cereal and toast, but still, I’m ONLY four, so that’s pretty good, right? That I can do that?”

“Your mumma’s been doing a damn good job, that’s for sure. Teaching you things.”

“She wants me to be strong and independent. But not grow up too fast. But one day, I’ll be able to make pancakes and scrambled eggs and bacon. Not just boring old cereal and toast.”

“Are you trying to tell me you want something else? More than that?”

She giggles as she drops her chin to her chest. “I’m REALLY hungry. I could eat the shit out of a dead hippo.”

Smirking, he tosses off his blankets. “Where did you learn that?”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t give up my sources.”

“Well, you know what? I could eat the shit out of a dead hippo, too. So why don’t we go downstairs and raid the fridge, and see what we can dig up. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.” She steps back as he slides out of bed, her brow furrowing as she studies her mother’s bruised and battered and sleeping form.. “ What about momma, though? She’ll be all by herself. She might get lonely. What if she wakes up and we’re not here? She might be scared. And sad. I don’t want her to be scared and sad.”

“IF she wakes up, she knows we’re not far away. That we wouldn’t just leave her. She knows how much we love her; that we’d never just take off on her. Besides, she’s going to be doing a lot of sleeping for the next few days.”

“‘Cause the doctor said so?”

“It’s the best thing for her. So that her body can get better. And that’s what we want, yeah? Mumma to be all better?”

The four-year-old nods.

“How ‘bout you tuck her in? She’d like that.”

Her face visibly brightens. “Like a momma burrito?”

“Something like that. Don’t do it as tight, though. And be careful; you don’t want to get tangled up in all those wires and tubes. Careful and gentle, okay?”

Handing him her doll, she scurries around to Esme’s side of the bed; slipping her body between the machine and the IV stand and gingerly stepping over or slipping under various tubing and wires. Carefully spreading and smoothing the blankets over her mom’s body, then loosely tucking them underneath her. And a distinct sadness darkens her eyes and furrows her brow when she runs a palm over Esme’s hair and leans in to press a kiss to her cheek.

“I miss you, momma. I love you. You’ll feel better soon. I promise. Daddy and I will take really good care of you! Right, dad?”

Nodding, Tyler leans down to drop a kiss on the top of her head when she scurries back to his side; plucking the doll from his grasp.

“I’mma leave Posie here,” Millie announces, then proceeds to lift the top blanket and tuck her under it. “So she can keep an eye on mumma! And if mumma wakes up, she’ll see Posie here and know that I’m coming back for sure. ‘Cause I never leave Posie behind. Not for good!”

“You know, you have a really big heart in that little body of yours.”

“Momma always used to tell me that I got that from my daddy. That his heart was way bigger than his body, too. Is that really true? ‘Cause your body is super big!”

“Is that a polite way of calling me fat?”

“You’re not fat! You’re thick!”

He smirks. “I wonder where I’ve heard that before.”

“You’re like a giant! You’re really tall and crazy big! Do you think it’s true? What momma said? About your heart being bigger than your body? Because if it is, your heart is super huge!”

“You know what I think? I think your mum’s the most amazing human being I’ve ever known.”

“Next to me, right?”

“Yeah…” Scooping her up onto his arms, he presses pressing a kiss to her temple as he settles her on his hip. “...definitely next to you.”

*****

He relaxes in a poolside lounge chair; hair damp and matted to his head, his aching and tired body clad in a pair of board shorts bought during an impromptu shopping excursion with Nik and Millie. The latter fast asleep against his chest; snoring lightly, her eyes shielded by a pair of pink and purple polka-dotted sunglasses, her bathing suit -one of many she’d excitedly picked out- beginning to dry in the heat. Exhausted from the morning and early afternoon activities and the drama of the last seven days; the time spent in the sun and water solidifying her successful escape from New York City. Content and relaxed; confident that her old life is now firmly behind her and the new one is just lingering on the horizon. And despite the worry and sadness revolving around her mother’s injuries, she feels safe and secure; putting all of her trust into her surroundings and the people around her.

Nik joins them, standing at the side of his chairs with her hands shoved in the pockets of a pair of wide-legged, burgundy linen trousers and a pair of oversized sunglasses. A smile curling her lips as she glances down at a snoozing Millie.

“Out like a light.”

“She’s had a hell of a week. It was bound to catch up to her.”

“She doesn’t do that with just anyone. Fall asleep on them like that. Means she feels safe. Secure. She trusts you.”

“I’m not sure she’s making the right decision. Look what her mum’s trust in me got her.”

“What I said on the plane…about what happened…I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was blaming you.”

“That’s exactly what you meant for it to sound like. I know you, Nik; I know you don’t say shit you don’t believe. And you’ve never been one to pull punches.”

“I wanted an explanation. A reason. For how things went so wrong, so quick.”

“And I told you. They came out of nowhere. There’s no way I could have seen it coming. It just happened. And it happened THAT fast.”

“You didn’t hear anything? See anything? You..?”

“I was concentrating on driving. On getting us to the meet-up point. We’d just gone through all that fucking bullshit with Winston..”

“Which was probably weighing heavily on your mind. Probably had you on edge. Distracted.”

“...and all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of there. Get to you and Yaz and then to the airport. I thought the roads were clear; Wick had people blocking all the intersections, and you had eyes on things. Or at least I THOUGHT you did. Had you not pulled the guys early…”

“I thought you were in the clear. You were only three blocks away. I made a decision based on that. I did what I thought was best.”

“So did I. I did what I thought was best for Esme. To get her the fuck out of there. I had just gotten her away from Winston; all I had to do was get her to the airport and on that plane, and everything else was going to be easy. I trusted you to have the people in place. To have my six. And if I DID let my guard down, it’s because of that. Nothing else.”

“I admit, it wasn’t my best decision. I should have left them in place longer. Until we actually DID meet up. But…”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Nik. You’re beating a dead fucking horse. I’m tired, and I’m sore, and I’ve got a lot on my plate. I don’t need this, too. Can we just let it go? I think you fucked up, you think I fucked up. Can’t we leave it at that?”

“I think I deserve an explanation. Not as your friend. But as your boss.”

“And I’ve told you everything there is to know. There isn’t always an explanation or a reason, Nik. Sometimes, shit just happens. There’s nothing simple about this job. It’s not just black or white. And you of all people should know that. You…”

When Milliie whimpers in her sleep, his mood abruptly changes; the tension in his jaw and shoulders releasing, the brightness returning to his eyes. And he smooths a hand over her and down her back, his lips soft as they press against her brow. “It’s alright, Amelia. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

She heaves a long, content sigh, then nestles her face against his chest and shoves her thumb into her mouth. And for several minutes, he and Nik remain silent; his chin resting on the top of Millie’s head and his hand rubbing her back in smooth, slow circles.

Nik uses a fingertip to sweep wayward strands of hair off of the little one’s forehead. “She’s beautiful.”

“She is. Esme and I do good work.”

“You most definitely do. Although I’m not sure how much work Esme actually put in. I think her genes were completely absent that day. Millie looks just like you.”

“That’s an awful thing to say about my kid, Nik. That she looks like her old man.”

“You know how many times Esme has heard it? How many people think she’s just a nanny? No one ever believes they’re actually mother and daughter. Until Millie opens her mouth of course; she tells stories EXACTLY like her momma does.”

“All over the damn place.”

“The only two people I know who can go off in five different directions and never get back to what started everything off.”

“You know how many times Esme will start a story, only for me to never find out what the original point of it was? Too many to count.”

“It’s just part of who she is. That exuberance and that light that she’s managed to hold onto. I’ve never met anyone like her, you know. Not in this circle, anyway. I don’t know how she does it; holds onto that optimism and that brightness. Everything she’s been through…the things she’s seen and the things she’s done…all of that has been stacked against her. Yet she’s still…Esme.”

“She’s the strongest person I’ve ever known. How many people do you think would have stuck around on that bridge? For someone like me?”

“Not a lot.”

“Yet she did. For some reason. She wasn’t leaving me there. And she had every reason to, believe me.”

“She saw the potential. Things about you that no one else did. Or maybe you just never LET people see them. See YOU.”

“Maybe a bit of both.”

“Maybe…”

“Were you there? When she was born?”

Nik nods. “I was.”

He glances down at his daughter; taking a deep breath and then noisily clearing his throat. A vain attempt at pushing away the emotion that threatens to choke him.

"Tyler…”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Being there. For Esme. I’m glad she wasn’t alone.”

“She asked me. If I’d be the one to go in with her. And regardless of what you think, I tried telling her; convincing her to call you and let you know you were going to be a dad. I told her there was nothing for her to be afraid of; you weren’t going to ignore her call or turn her away or question whether or not the baby was yours. That there was nothing she could ever do to make you hate her that much.”

“I didn’t hate her at all. I never did. I loved her. I never STOPPED loving her.”

“And that’s what I told her. That you loved her and missed her and were spending all your time looking for her. That if there was ever a time TO contact you, that was it; the baby was very close to being born, the nursery was done, and the name was picked out. I told her you would be on the next plane there; to be with her and see your daughter come into the world.”

“But…”

“She was scared. Of rejection. Because she loved you, and her heart couldn’t take it; if you wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. I told her that that would never happen, but…”

“She’s pretty damn stubborn.”

Nik nods.

“You know I never got to see that with my son, either? Him being born? I was in Iraq; on my second tour with SASR. We were located just outside of Mosul. Mia was pissed about it; she was already six months pregnant when I signed up to go, and she knew there was no way I’d be back in time. I tried to justify it; I was one of the commanding officers, and they needed all hands on deck. Now I realize it’s just who I was; I wasn’t capable of putting her first. And I probably never even should have tried being a family man. I just didn’t have it in me.”

“You were young. You’d already spent years devoting everything you had to the military. It becomes ingrained in you. The only thing that really matters. Believe me, I know.”

“Sometimes I wonder if I ever really wanted to be. A husband and a father. At least back then.”

“You were in love. And you wanted to make her happy. You were willing to do whatever it took to make that happen.”

“I was. In love. Or I thought I was, at least. Took me until I was thirty-five to figure out it wasn’t the real deal. I think I just settled. The same way Mia did. I wasn’t really her type; she’d always been into lawyers and politicians and businesses. I was just some guy in the army. I wasn’t anything special.”

“To her, you were.”

“Guess she just wanted something different. Someone a little more dangerous. Younger.”

“And you were there. Ready, willing, and able. And lonely.”

“I don’t know what I was. Stupid, for the most part. But I’d lived practically my entire life without a family; my mum was long dead, and I’d already cut my dad out of the picture. Mia was there. I liked being around her. Not that we actually spent a lot of time together, considering her career kept her busy, and I was always being shipped off to different places.”

“And then your son came along…”

“He just sort of happened. We didn’t plan on having kids. She wasn’t even sure she wanted any. I was just so caught up in thinking I was in love and had found my ‘happily ever after’ that I didn’t really give a shit if we had any or not. But things happened, and he came along, and I tried my best to be a good dad. We know how THAT turned out.”

“That one choice you made…that one mistake…doesn’t mean you were a terrible father. It doesn’t negate the good things, Tyler. Or the love you had…you STILL have…for your little boy.”

“It was a hell of a mistake, Nik.”

“Doesn’t change the fact you loved him. That you still do. Or that HE loved YOU.”

“I never thought I’d be a dad again. I had no plans to be one, that’s for sure. I’d already done that once, and it didn’t end well. And then Esme came along and everything changed. I changed. She made me want to be a different person. A BETTER person. She wasn’t like anyone else. I knew that right away.”

“I think she knew that same thing about you.”

“Once she stuck around after Dhaka, I knew that was it. That SHE was it. I don’t regret it, Nik. The way things happened. I know it was the wrong place and totally the wrong time, but I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t change a fucking second. I would take that bullet to my throat a hundred times if it meant I’d be with her.”

She blinks at his honesty.

“When we decided to get the house and started talking about getting married and having a family, I was terrified. Of being a husband and a dad again. I didn’t want to fuck it up. I’d already screwed over one wife; Mia deserved a lot better than I ever gave her. That’s when I told myself it would be different. That I’D be different. I’d be the man that Esme needed and wanted. That she deserved. I’d be a good dad. The one I never had. I would do everything right; I’d be there for my wife, and I’d put my family first, and I wouldn’t be a total fucking failure.”

“You were never a failure, Tyler. You…”

“I used to think about it. Esme being pregnant. Seeing her get bigger and bigger. Feeling the baby move. Making a nursery. Going to all the appointments. I was looking forward to it; going through all of that with her. I’d missed it all the first time, I wasn’t going to miss it again.”

“I know what you’re going to say. I know…”

“That was all taken from me. I never got the chance. I was ready and I was willing, and I was able, and it never happened. Sure, she got pregnant, and the baby came along. But I just didn’t get to know about it. I didn’t get to be part of it, did I.”

“Tyler…”

“I don’t hate you, Nik. Let’s get that out of the way. We’ve been through way too much together. Not to mention everything you did for me after Dhaka and everything you did for Esme and Millie. That you continue to do for them. I could never thank you enough; for keeping Esme safe and for making sure that she didn’t go through everything alone and that she and Millie were taken care of.”

“I don’t need your thanks. They’re my family. So are you.”

“Like I said, I don’t hate you. I might not like you very much right now…”

“And I deserve that. I know I do. But I don’t regret the choices I made. I don’t regret helping Esme or keeping her secrets. And I would do it all again. No questions asked. And I’m sorry if it hurts you to hear that. It was never personal, Tyler. I never did any of that to intentionally hurt you. And I DID try and convince her to contact you. Many times.”

“I really hope that’s true, Nik. That I don’t find out something completely different. Because that whole not hating you thing? That could change. I can’t make any promises.”

******

Nik settles on the lounge chair beside him, stretching out of her legs and setting her clasped hands on her stomach.

“It was a beautiful day.”

Tyler arches a quizzical brow.

“When Millie was born. It was sunny and cool, and the leaves were just starting to change.”

“Seems kinda fitting. That she came along when she did. It was always her mum’s favourite season; Esme used to go on and on about fall in New York City. About how she’d always take walks in Central Park; she loved seeing all the different colours and hearing the leaves crunching under her feet and how the air actually seemed fresh for a change. She made it sound incredible. Beautiful.”

“She has a knack of seeing things differently than we do. She holds onto so much trust and wonder; she sees the beauty in everything. And everyone. She could watch the same sunset a million times and find a million different things to marvel at. I used to tease her about it; almost scold her for being that way. For always seeing the cup as ‘half full’. But now that I think about it, wouldn’t it be better if we all saw it that way?”

“She’s just different, Nik. From what we’re used to. We’ve all been through hell and back. In one way or another. And somehow she’s still like that. I used to give her shit for it, too. Always said she was setting herself up for disappointment if she kept seeing the world like she did. Seeing the good in everyone no matter how shitty they treated her. Even told her how stupid it all seemed; that she was being naive and childish and she was just going to get hurt.”

“If anything…anyone…is a breath of fresh air…”

“I realize now that if she didn’t see things the way she did? Millie wouldn’t even exist. Esme wouldn’t have stayed on that bridge. Dhaka wouldn’t have happened the way it did. The things that went down between the two of us. She wouldn’t even have given me a second look. She would have just seen me as a huge mess. A liability. And moved on with her life.”

“I know you talk about how she came along when you needed it the most, but have you ever thought that maybe you did too? That you came along when she needed you to? Because despite all that light and that brightness and that love for the world and everyone in it, there was a very broken and lonely woman…little girl, even…under all of it. I would see it sometimes; this sadness that would just take over. When she’d just seem so lost and vulnerable and hurting. That changed. When she met you. I saw it in that hospital. All that time she was holding on and fighting for you, she was holding on and fighting for herself too. She wanted to be what YOU needed. And what you deserved.”

“She is way more than I have ever deserved.”

”But she doesn’t see it that way. She doesn’t see YOU that way. You came along, and you pulled her out of a really dark, horrible place. And I know it’s hard to see that when you’re in a pretty bad place yourself, but it’s true. The two of you found each other when you both needed it the most. She didn’t just save YOU, Tyler. You saved her too. In more ways than one.”

Swallowing around the lump of emotion sitting square in his throat, his fingers moving through Millie’s damp hair as he nods slowly, considering Nik’s words.

“I know you probably have a lot of questions. About the last five years. About Millie. Maybe even about before she was born. If there’s anything you want to ask or know about it or I can help you understand better…”

“How was it? The pregnancy? Was it really hard on her? Were there any complications? I mean, I assume everything went okay, or we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now, but…”

“It was pretty uneventful. There were no scares. No real health issues. Yaz and I got a place in the city. We wanted to be close by; to keep an eye on her, make sure she was taking care of herself and that she got everything she…and the baby…needed. She was never alone, Tyler. Not physically, anyway. We were there when she needed us. Maybe too much at times. I’m sure we annoyed her a lot. I know I can be pretty assertive and overwhelming at times. And Yaz…”

“He’s always had a hard-on for her. I don’t think her being pregnant changed that. Knowing that little freak, it probably made it even better in his mind.”

Nik laughs. “Yeah, maybe. But it’s been harmless. He’s always known he doesn’t stand a chance.”

“I mean, she has bad taste in men, but it’s not THAT bad.”

“He was so into things. He loved the idea of being an uncle. He was constantly buying Miillie things; always showing up with toys and outfits and things Esme could put away until she was older. And when we found out it was a girl? He got even worse. That kid was going to be the biggest, most spoiled princess on earth.”

“Esme knew? That it was going to be a girl?”

“She didn’t want to know at first. She was pretty adamant about waiting. Letting it be a surprise. But she ended up caving. At the very last ultrasound. And low and behold, baby Rake was a little girl. We always called Millie that. By your last name. It might not be that on paper, but we talked openly about it. You were always on her mind, Tyler. There wasn’t a day that went by where she didn’t think about you. TALK about you. You may not have been there, but to Esme, that baby was just as much yours as it was hers.”

“I would have been there. If she’d called me out of nowhere and told me about the baby, I would have gotten on the first flight out of Australia. Nothing…no one…could have stopped me from being there. Not you, not Winston, not The High Table. No one.”

“And she knew that. Which is why she was determined NOT to tell you. I’m not saying she made the right decision. Or that I agree with how she handled things. But it was not my place to tell you. Especially about Millie. I couldn’t betray her, Tyler. Not even for you.”

“As hurt as I am, as PISSED as I am, I’m just glad she wasn’t alone. That people were there for her. I fucking hate I didn’t get the chance, but it’s never really about me, has it? It’s about her and Millie. Especially Millie. Always has been. And that’s the way it should be.”

“Esme was having that baby no matter what. Not once did she ever think about not having her. Let alone talk about it. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy and she was lonely and sad and missed you every second of every day. Millie was part of you. Her only connection to you. And there was no way she was giving that up.”

“She’s always wanted to be a mum. She talked about it a lot. When we lived in The Kimberley. About coming close with Mark and having that taken away from her. I don’t think she ever got over that. And I knew one day it would happen; she and I would get our shit together, and we’d start a family. I didn’t think it would happen this way, mind you.”

“She never stopped thinking about you, Tyler. Loving you. She talked about you all the time. About wishing you could be there. So, please…PLEASE…don’t ever think she didn’t want you in her life. Or Millie’s life. Because nothing could be further from the truth. That baby was all she had. Aside from Yaz and I, Millie was her only connection to you. And no one could take that away from her. She wouldn’t let them.”

“Did she ever talk about me to Millie?”

“Maybe not by name. But even she was just a tiny baby. Millie heard stories about you. And all good, believe me. Esme has NEVER said a bad word about you to that little girl. And she always promised that she’d take Millie to meet you; that one day they’d go to Australia and track you down and let you meet each other.”

“Esme had chances. She’s had four years, Nik. She…”

“She had to be ready. She had to get over all that fear and worry she had. I couldn’t force her to just stop being that way. We’ve already established how stubborn she is. But I’d be honest with her; I’d tell her that she needed to contact you and you had the right to know you were a dad. That you deserved to be part of Millie’s life. But other than that, there wasn’t much I could do.”

“What about when Millie was old enough to start asking questions? What did she tell her then?”

“She would tell Millie that her dad was a good person. A big man with an even bigger heart. That he lived far away and one day, they’d go and visit him. And that she loved him very much. She always would.”

His voice quivers with emotion. “I don’t even know what to say. What IS there to say?”

“I know it hurts, Tyler. What Esme did. Having your child kept from you. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling. But you need to know that it wasn’t done maliciously. It started with her wanting to protect you, then ended up being about wanting to protect herself.”

“From me? She didn’t need to protect herself from me. I’ve never been a threat to you. I have never hurt her. I’ve never raised my voice, let alone a hand to her. I never would. I’d kill myself if I ever got that way. If I ever laid even a finger on her in THAT way…”

“She was protecting her heart. She was scared, Tyler. That you’d turn her away. That you’d turn MILLIE away.”

“That would never…EVER…happen. No matter how pissed or hurt I was.”

“Rationally, she knew that. But fear…and love for that matter…don’t always have us thinking…or acting…rationally.”

Sighing, he glances down at Millie; running a fingertip down the bridge of her nose and then pressing a kiss to the tip.

“Would you like more?” Nik asks. “Kids?”

“I’d love more. I’d love to go through it all with her. I WANT that, That experience. With HER.”

“But…”

“But it’s kinda selfish, isn’t it? Wanting it for ME. She has to want it too.”

“I don’t think you need to worry about that. Something tells me she’s on the same page. She loves being a mom. And she’s good at it. Damn good.”

“She’s an amazing mum. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother for my kid.”

“You’re going to get your ‘normal’. Your ‘happily ever after’. It won’t be much longer now.”

He nods in agreement. “Thank you, Nik. For telling me all of this. I needed to hear it. Esme can say it all until she’s blue in the face, but hearing it from someone else?”

“It’s a different viewpoint. Coming from an outsider looking in. I just didn’t want you to think she never wanted you in her life, In Millie’s life. Because she did. She missed you, Tyler. Every second of every day. And believe me, I know she wishes she could change things. Go back in time and make different decisions.”

“I told her I wouldn’t want that. When you change one thing, you change everything. I believe that. And even if it were possible, I wouldn’t risk it. I wouldn’t risk a damn thing.”

Smiling, she reaches out and lays a hand on his shoulder, lightly squeezing. “It was never about her not loving you, Tyler. It was always about how much she DID.”

#Tyler and Esme series #Tyler Rake #Tyler Rake fanfiction #Tyler Rake fan fic #Extraction #Extraction 2 #Extraction fanfic #Extraction fan fiction #Tyler Rake x OFC #Chris Hemsworth #Esme Drummond #Esme Rake #Rake Lives

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weirdmorefics · 1 year

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the same person who asked this

Hi there. Can I request a Anthony Bridgeton x ftm reader slightly set in modern era where they have twins and Anthony's family loves the reader and is okay with there relationship. I just want fluff with a (little too big of a) dash of angst. Something domestic where they go on a vacation and them all running around the garden and at the end of the night after the twins go to sleep y/n and Anthony spend time alone just talking, cuddling and swaying to music while looking in each other's eyes...im just a simp for fluff and angst.

Sorry if this is too specific or non-specific and if you don't feel like writing it then it's cool. Thank you ❤️

Just Shut Up and Kiss Me

FTM Reader

Pronouns- He/Him

Word Count- 523

Summary- After a long day at the ocean with the twins, you and Anthony finally get some quality time together.

A/N- MODERN TIME PERIOD! It's not exactly like the request I hope you still like it :)

Sorry for the lateness I've said in another post but it is due to the Flu and I have many chronic illnesses so it took me a while to get back to baseline.

The twins were more rambunctious than they were at the estate which I did not even know was possible. I guess vacations bring out the energy in all of us. We spent the day together at the ocean and they could not contain their excitement.

To be honest, though any public body of water raises my anxiety. Even after top surgery, I feel like I should be wearing a shirt but Anthony eases my nerves. He has been with me through it all even if he was a bit uneducated about the subject at first. Eloise helped him research everything about top surgery and we played board games all throughout my recovery. Anthony acts as quite the buffer as well, his handsomeness certainly distracts from me. Anthony still encourages me to feel good in my skin with the salacious comments he whispers in my ear. Even with his encouragement, it is still very tiring to fight those feelings all day.

I am grateful that the kids poured all their energy into creating intricate sand castles and destroying them. By the time we got to the summer home, the kids were so exhausted they passed out the minute their head hit their pillows. I felt exhausted myself from the sun, the crazy twins, and many emotions of the day. After tucking the children in I planned on going to sleep but Anthony had other ideas.

"Come on darling I have something to show you," Anthony says dragging me away from the twin's room practically giving me no choice.

"Anthony what has you in such a tizzy," I laugh at his usual antics.

"I just want to show you something as mesmerizing as your eyes," He says with a goofy grin.

I blush and try to hide my face, "Stop you're going to make me gag."

"You know you love my romantic words," he laughs deeply.

I roll my eyes, "Don't get too full of yourself."

"You already know I am full of myself that's why you married me handsome." He smirks

"Yeah, sure that's why," I laugh.

"Enough of denying how perfect my personality is look up," he says gesturing to the sky.

I go to make some stupid witty remark when I look to the sky.

"There are so many stars here you never see this many in London!" I gasp in awe.

"I have always wanted to take you here ever since I met you Y/N. The moment I saw your eyes they always sparkle when you are talking about something you are passionate about just like these stars."

I feel my whole face start to turn red which in turn makes my face even redder because now I am embarrassed about being embarrassed what a vicious cycle. I try to turn away to sass Anthony about being too gooey again but he pulls my face towards his.

"Don't you ever hide your feelings my love because you make every emotion a work of art." He says suavely making me want to smack him.

I roll my eyes, "Just shut up and kiss me."

"That I can do," he smirks wickedly.

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sukunastoy · 2 years

Text

Shameful Attraction (CEO! Sukuna x Female Reader ~NSFW~ Part 1)

Pairings: CEO!Sukuna x fem!reader x fiance!Toji (Non-Curse AU)

Synopsis: You've been in a long-term relationship with Toji from high school, who is the love of your life. Well, sometimes he is... You turn a blind eye to all of the heartaches he seems to deliberately bring upon you and the relationship. Despite his actions, you've remained loyal and true. That is, until Sukuna, a CEO and your new boss, draws you into an affair.

CW/TW: This story has moments of mistreatment and abuse in it. There are references all throughout about this behavior—Hitting, name-calling, degradation, hiding bruises, domestic violence, sexual assault, being drugged/unaware, cheating, unfaithfulness etc. Also, reader is thin/underweight, unprotected sex, fingering, pet names (i.e., doll, pretty thing, little one, princess, etc.), praise kink. Mentions of depression and thoughts of suicide in later chapters.

Wordcount: 7.2k

Enjoy~!

Present Day ~ Friday, 10:23 PM

It was happening again. There was nothing you could do to stop it. No amount of shame or fear could keep you from hiding in the bathroom at 10:23 PM, your thumb hovering over the "open message" icon on your phone. You knew who it was, the person you always desperately awaited a text from.

The sender's name was your best friend and coworker, "Yuna."

You always talked to Yuna; sometimes you even stayed with her after work was over in the affluent area of Tokyo, Roppongi Hills. There were even the rare times you'd stay overnight because you felt like you couldn't see each other long enough. At least it's who your fiancé thought you were talking to and seeing...If he ever found out otherwise, you weren't sure you even wanted to think about what might happen.

He would get annoyed at you for wanting to talk so much with one of your friends, and he always demanded to know what you two did or talked about all the time, which you offered very detailed lies in response to his questions. It's not like you came to these decisions lightly...You stuck it out faithfully for almost seven years before giving up and needing someone else to make you feel like a beautiful and worthy woman again. To know someone else could appreciate you and offer excitement in your life. Even if it was only temporary... Even if they didn't care about you in the same way you cared for them, you still needed whatever you could get.

Listening carefully in the silence of the night, you could still hear Toji snoring quietly from your shared bed down the hall, and finally, your shaking thumb pressed onto the screen, closing your eyes as you felt the little 'bzzt' of the message opening.

Swallowing tightly before accepting the message visually, you peeked an eye open and felt your face flush with a tingling heat that traveled down into your core, making your thighs squeeze together tightly as you sat on the edge of the tub, breath hitching at the photo and caption that now had you uncontrollably mesmerized.

Clicking the lock button on the side of your phone you dropped it down onto the soft rug below, your shaking hands now covering your face before going through your hair and you let out a long quiet breath.

Your heart pounded with the image in your mind, and what usually happened after you got one of these messages, there was no stopping it, and you hoped it never would.

Finally calming your nerves at the moment, you picked your phone back up, only to have that heated chill drop to your stomach again as there was another message to open now. Biting your lip, you opened it and at this point, you could nearly hear your own elevated heartbeat.

-"Aren't you going to answer me, doll? I know you're still awake."-

You covered your mouth with your free hand to try and quiet the excited breaths escaping your mouth, scrolling up slowly to review the previous message.

-"I know it's late, and to be honest, I really don't care. I want you here, need you beneath me in my bed where you know you belong. Letting a real man fuck you properly. You know he can't make you feel like I can." Photo attached: It was of that enormous bulge desperately trying to push through dark sweatpants that were loosely tied at the hip, shirt lifted and held up by sharp canines to show off that ridiculously built body, and black tattoos that hugged the skin.-

Damn him. A quiet whine churned in your throat as your thighs clenched together more tightly in that shameful desire. He was right though...Toji could never fuck you as good as Sukuna. It was so embarrassing. Embarrassing how easy it was for Sukuna to turn you completely limp in his arms, and how quickly you'd lose yourself beneath him. Embarrassing because of how loud and lewd your moans were. Embarrassing because of how much you wanted this playboy over your own fiancé...

Knowing another message would come through if you didn't reply, you quickly responded with the only thing you could think of at the moment, being so flustered and already getting dumb over dick through a teasing photo. -"I still have that report I have to finish this weekend, I don't think you'd be too happy if I don't complete it by Monday, sir."-

As soon as you sent the message, it was as if there was an answer already waiting, and your phone almost immediately vibrated in response. -"Just stay the whole weekend with me, I don't even care anymore at this point. You can finish that here after I'm finished with you. I've already transferred the train ticket vouchers to you. The last one leaves at 10:51 pm. I'll pick you up at the station when you arrive. Just don't keep me waiting, my pretty little thing."-

Running a hand over your forehead that felt a bit damp from nervousness, you shoved your phone into your pocket and let out a quiet but heavy breath. Having an affair with your boss was undoubtedly making you the happiest you've felt in years, but still, at the same time, it made you so frightened and ashamed. Especially since it felt like you were getting more attached to him, though you knew Sukuna wasn't looking for a serious relationship of any kind. He had made that perfectly clear. Painfully clear...

He certainly knew how to make you feel like the only woman in the world, but, so did Toji. The only difference was that Sukuna at least kept his wandering eyes and flirtatious comments under check when the two of you were spending time together. Meanwhile, Toji had no reserve and seemed to disregard your hurt feelings with little to no care.

Toji could be so gentle and loving when he wanted to be, but it never lasted long. There'd always be something to set him off or some woman nearby he couldn't keep his eyes off of. It all hurt so terribly much...At the end of the day, you still kept a part of yourself devoted to your fiancé. He certainly used to treat you as his queen before, and you desperately wished those days to return. You needed to be better for him...but you couldn't let go of this sinful desire.

It was just unfair that your fuck buddy knew how to respect you more than your own fiancé.

But, Sukuna never asked you to officially stay for several days like this, and as terrified as you were of your fiancé finding out, you couldn't pass up this type of opportunity. Maybe Sukuna was getting more attached to you as well? Doubtful...

The train station was only a couple of minutes away from your apartment, so it was a quick walk down the road. Approaching the kiosk to pick up your tickets, you held the voucher barcode on your phone underneath the scanner and it printed out a set of tickets for you to board the train.

Knowing the ride would be a little time-consuming, roughly over an hour, you stared aimlessly out the window for most of the trip, your leg bouncing in anticipation. You tried not to think of all the shameful things you were going to let this beast of a man do to you through the rest of the night, and how you craved every bit of it.

Nearing the destination, you clicked on Yuna's name in your contacts and took a quick selfie, angling the camera so your pushed-up boobs were clearly visible as well. Before Sukuna, you could never feel confident enough to take such pictures. Even when Toji asked for some risqué photos, you couldn't feel comfortable doing so. Sending them to Sukuna was exciting, however. Being satisfied after a few images, you attached a message, -"I'm getting close. ❤"-

-"Yeah, you'll be screaming that soon enough."- he replied nearly instantly.

God, you could hear his cocky chuckle through the text. -"Please, 'cause I seriously need it. This whole week was awful." -"Yeah? Well, glad I had you come over then. I'll make sure to fuck all of the stress out of you."-

He sent another photo and you nearly dropped your phone once it popped up on the screen as you weren't expecting to see his large hand tightly wrapped around his hardened cock. You let out a near silent yet audible whimper as your eyes fixated on it. A shudder traveled through your body as you recalled how amazing he could make you feel.

You were just grateful Sukuna asked you to come over tonight, considering you and Toji had another fight about his past financial problems that somehow became your main responsibility to fix. At the time of your engagement when you were young, dumb, and in 'love', you had agreed to put all of his bills in your name and his credit debt as soon as possible so he could catch a break and start rebuilding his finances and you'd be able to help with the payments then.

Of course, through some miscommunication, you were responsible for ALL the payments now, and you couldn't keep up. To make it worse, he kept taking out new loans for who knows what and it seriously broke your heart, getting yelled at for not being able to pay the credit card bills. Anytime a bill went overdue because you couldn't afford the full payment, Toji would not handle it well at all, and he'd take his frustrations out on you in a variety of ways that often left the proof on your skin. Still, if you could only take his financial burdens away, you had hope that things between the two of you would greatly improve.

Seeing the city lights get closer, you let out a deep breath of suspense, knowing within the next few moments or so you'd be getting fucked stupid in one of the very expensive, luxury apartments of the seductively dominant man you met a few months ago.

You knew the moment you had literally run into him while rushing down the sidewalk, causing his hot morning coffee to spill onto you and all over his expensive suit that things were going to change in your life, even if just for a little while.

3 months ago, Thursday, 7:57 am

You had sought out jobs all over the place, needing to make way more than your current one, and didn't find any luck until someone finally got back to you from the distant city of Roppongi Hills. It was almost 2 hours away by train, but, if you got the job, the money would definitely be worth it, hopefully enough to get you out of this crippling debt your fiancé kept piling on. Maybe then the two of you could return to a normal and healthy relationship...

Running late for an interview from train delays, you had looked down at your phone for just a moment to check the time as you neared the business building, and before you could look back up, you crashed into him. The man that was going to make you question everything, make you understand nothing, and unintentionally hurt you in a way that was more unbearable than any physical shove or abusive slap from your fiancé.

"Ah-! Fuck..."

The male let out an angered groan while looking down to his now wet and stained clothing and you stood frozen in front of him, both hands clasped firmly over your mouth and eyes widened in shock.

"I...I am SO sorry!"

You bleated out, stunned that you just ruined this gorgeous businessman's suit from being so careless. It certainly didn't help that anyone walking by looked over at the small commotion, making you more embarrassed and upset.

"Stop, it's fine..." He sighed in annoyance, tossing his crushed cup into a trashcan nearby and flicking some of the spilled coffee from his hands. He glanced down at you with a disappointed expression and your cheeks flushed in submission to his gaze before immediately averting your eyes to the ground.

"I'm just, terribly sorry, I really didn't mean for this to happen..."

You fumbled your words, holding your hands down at your side and offering a few small bows of apology.

"Enough."

He demanded, waving his hand and dismissing your apologetic actions while pulling out his cell phone.

"Yes sir..." you mumbled quietly while holding onto one of your arms, trying to keep it together. Not only did you just ruin this man's attire, but some of his coffee had spilled onto your white blouse as well. How could you go into an interview with such a stain? So unprofessional... It was a couple of minutes after 8 am now. Your interview would be starting in a few minutes, and you wouldn't have time to clean up or get different clothes.

Hearing your phone ring immediately as the man had started a call, your face grew pale and your stomach twisted in knots as your eyes lifted to meet his. No...no, no, no. Was this your interviewer?? A slight chuckle from him startled you as he ended the call, ending the ringing on your end as well.

"Mr. Itadori..?" You meekly asked, wishing the ground would just open up and make you disappear from this humiliating situation.

"I take it you're Y/N then?"

Looking at him with more heat filling your cheeks from both embarrassment and fondness, you gave a shy nod. Of course, he had to be handsome as well...only adding to your shame of messing up his expensive suit.

"Well, I was calling to say I'd have to have someone else interview you but, here we are together anyway." He drawled while placing his phone back into his pocket and leaving his hand in there with it. A moment of silence overtook the two of you as his gaze traveled down your body, only adding to your timidity. Damn...were you not properly dressed? Were you overly dressed?

After taking a moment to let his predatory gaze consume you, he couldn't resist the devious smirk from spreading across his face, and it made your whole body tense in nervousness. Those maroon eyes didn't even try to deny their curiosity and you looked to the side quickly, holding onto one of your arms as you subconsciously submitted to his gaze. Your relatively tall heels and form-hugging skirt with your blouse purposely unbuttoned down one too many made him want to keep exploring your body. And now you were feeling guilty for your outfit choice. Usually something like this wasn't permitted unless Toji was with you. Looking too good while not in his presence wasn't anything he allowed. If he knew some other man was enjoying the sight of you like this he'd take it out on you in an awful way.

Turning away, Sukuna motioned you to follow with a finger over his shoulder and you hesitantly did while snapping out of your thoughts, nearly stumbling forward from your heels, not normally wearing them. Where was he taking you?

"Guess we'll have to improvise. Didn't feel like being in the office today anyway."

"Sir, you don't have to interview me, I think I already lost my chance at this job..." you pressed, not wanting him to feel like he had to waste his time to be courteous or anything.

"I'll be generous and give you a chance still." he grinned in mirth while looking back at you and you felt your cheeks heat up with a blush. His deep voice was so smooth and relaxing, much better in person than when you had heard it on the phone setting up the interview. And his smile was captivating... Okay, ALL of him was captivating. Sure you had seen attractive men here and there, but why did this guy have to be the one to make your mind blank out so easily?

"So, you're applying for the assistant position, correct?"

"Yes sir, and can show you my credentials for my education, experiences, and-"

"I've already seen your paperwork, sweetheart. I wouldn't have called you in for an interview if you weren't even qualified for the job." You mentally face-palmed and dropped your head, feeling like this was already so awkward and way out of your control. You hoped he wasn't just toying with you at this point, only dragging out your embarrassment.

Walking down the sidewalk, he asked the usual boring questions for a possible new hire, and you did your best to answer appropriately, really appreciating he was still going to give you a chance at the position, hopefully. He had stopped for another coffee, casually laughing about the stain on his suit to the lovely woman who had already served him not too long ago. She giggled shyly as he spoke to her with that smooth voice, calling her doll through random conversation while she prepared his order, and honestly you couldn't blame her for being flustered. He was incredibly hot... The way his dark gray suit hugged his form, it was obvious he was well built under those clothes. His pale pink hair was slicked back nicely above his black undercut and it was just so sleek and complimented him. Damn...you needed to stop looking at him like that.

You were surprised when he turned from the counter and handed you a drink as well.

"For me?" "Seems that way, doesn't it?" He smiled charmingly and you couldn't stop the warmth coming into your cheeks again. Taking it slowly out of his hand, you nodded in appreciation. "But, I don't have any money to pay for this." "I didn't ask for your money though, did I?" He grinned while walking passed you from the counter.

You aimlessly followed him inside an apartment building, only noticing the change of environment when you heard someone greet him from the front desk and the sound of an elevator ding ringing out.

"Oh? Where are we?" You laughed nervously while looking around the glamorous lobby. When the elevator doors opened, he stepped inside and you watched him for a moment before following him in, starting to feel a little strange in the situation.

"Sir..?"

"I'd like to get out of these clothes." he simply replied, starting to undo the buttons at the end of the sleeves and the ones at his collar. Feeling your heartbeat elevate, you sipped your drink while looking ahead at the reflective doors. Though you tried to keep your eyes from watching him, you got caught in his gaze through the reflection. You immediately looked to the floor. Did he really just bring you to his apartment?

Arriving at his floor, you remained standing in the elevator after he walked into his apartment. Glancing back to you, he put a hand against the edge of the elevator door to keep it from closing. "This, this elevator just goes to your apartment? Not a hallway?"

He looked at you curiously before glancing into his apartment and laughing lightly. "Yes, sweetheart. Its a private floor."

You gave an anxious smile and exited the elevator, doing your best to not look around at the luxurious space in a disrespectful way.

Walking passed you, he gestured towards the large dining room off to the right side that was surrounded in windows and a couple pieces of decor that you assumed were insanely expensive.the ceilings were so tall, you weren’t sure you’d be able to throw anything high enough to hit them.

"You can sit at the table if you want, I'll be out in a moment," he said while going into a room towards the left.

"Alright." you nervously said, following the path he gestured and your jaw just about dropped at the elegance of this place. The large floor-to-ceiling windows along the the walls showed the beauty of the city that you couldn't have even imagined from the ground. Looking out, it was obvious this was the top floor, and you fidgeted your cup nervously in your hands. Of course he'd have a penthouse, and it was gorgeous.

Your curiosity kept you from sitting at the table, unable to resist the beautiful views out of every single window you could see. Nearly the entire city was visible, and even Mt. Fuji in the distance made its way into your gaze. There was a large balcony that seemed to wrap around most of the outside walls, and you could only imagine how nice it looked out there as well.

Sitting down at the table, you heard your phone chime repeatedly in the specific tone you had set for Toji's messages and you almost froze completely still, terrified that somehow this innocent interaction with someone who was interviewing you could get you into a lot of trouble. Taking out your phone you sighed upon seeing the several text messages left by him, and they were still pouring in. He was demanding to know where you were. You had already told him what your plans were these next couple days...

As you were trying to reply to his messages, it was interrupted when he suddenly called and you let out an audible gasp, afraid to actually answer it, scared he'd catch you in a lie.

"If you need to take that..." A deep voice startled you and you looked up to see Sukuna standing on the other side of the table wearing a fresh shirt. His bare chest was showing through while he was buttoning it up and you swallowed tightly, noticing tattoo patterns on what you could see, and it felt so wrong to stare but you couldn't help it... You hadn't seen another man's bare chest in real life besides Toji's.

"N-no, that would be very rude of me. It's okay." You offered a small smile, blinking quickly to break your gaze so you could look away. Hitting the silence button on your phone, you worried that not answering would cause you more trouble. You still had this interview to finish, and it would be very inappropriate to take a phone call during it. Especially since you had already ruined the very beginning of it with the coffee incident.

But before you could even put your phone away, it was ringing again and you held onto it stressfully.

The man before you gestured for you to answer it as he walked to the kitchen and you hesitantly pressed the answer button, lifting the phone to your ear.

"Hey."

["Why didn't you answer my first call? Where are you?"]

"In Roppongi for a couple of days. I told you I had interviews set up for today and-."

["Don't fucking lie to me, woman. You never said anything about any interviews, or staying the night somewhere."]

"Oh... I must have forgotten to mention it...I really thought I said something."

["Of course you forgot."]

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to forget... But can I call you back in a little bit? I'm still in an-."

["You're trying to get me off the phone? You got something more important than me going on?"]

"N-no, it's not like that, I just-."

["Whatever, you just can't be honest with me, can you?"]

"I'm not lying, I really am busy right now."

["Bullshit."]

"I swear, I'm just in an inter-."

["Ya know what? That's fine. I'll deal with you when you get home."]

Looking at the screen that suddenly said 'call ended' after he hung up on you, you clenched your jaw and dropped your phone onto the table, covering your face with one of your hands while trembling. Did you really forget to mention you'd be gone? No...you had told him, you were sure of it! But, obviously, you did forget... This was bad...

Listening from the kitchen, Sukuna waited a few more moments while drinking his coffee, just watching out the window to give you some time alone still. Though your small sobs were muffled, he could still hear them.

When you saw him walk from the kitchen you looked at him with embarrassment, almost completely forgetting you were in his apartment.

"Sorry..."

You quickly apologized while wiping your eyes. He offered a soft rag to use and you looked up to him smiling weakly.

"Thanks. I’m so sorry, just, there are, family problems, someone is ill so, everyone is just so stressed out right now."

You laughed nervously, offering some stupid lie. Sukuna sat down at the table across from you, setting his drink off to the side and resting his elbow on the table, chin atop his knuckles while he watched your whole body tremble as you stared down to the table blankly.

"Does your man always talk to you like that?" He said bluntly, making your head snap up in attention. "What do you mean? How did you even-."

"Your ring."

Glancing down to the small metal on your finger, you tucked your hand away under the table in shame. It had been there for years...years of waiting for it to be more than just an engagement. Usually people got married maybe a year after their announcement. But for whatever reason, Toji kept telling you that the two of you should keep waiting. He said you needed to improve yourself before he could permanently commit to a life with you.

You were doing your best but...you were still waiting.

"I didn't mean to completely ruin your morning by making this so informal." you weakly laughed, trying to move beyond this embarrassing moment while sipping on your drink. Watching you for a moment, Sukuna let a gentle smile come across his face while giving a small chuckle.

"You didn't ruin it at all, my pretty, little thing."

A gulp lodged in your throat at his charming voice and demeanor. Pretty? It has been ages since Toji had called you pretty.

"I'm sorry, I totally forgot what the last question was from the interview?" You just wanted to get back to the questions and try to pretend that the phone call didn't even take place.

"Don't worry about it right now, we can finish that later, let me get you something to eat." Feeling your stomach gurgle at his words, you looked to him hopefully but tried to deny his offer, though he obviously wasn't going to let you.

He could easily see how thin you were underneath your clothes, clearly a lack of nourishment in your life. Your timid and nervous demeanor made him more curious about what was going on in your mind, as you were already so different than most of the women he interacted with at a bar or somewhere similar. Rarely were any of them polite or courteous in return. Most of them were usually expecting a lot or were very high maintenance, the normal annoying behavior he'd humor briefly, get what pleasure out of them that he could, and then part ways, easily forgetting their names and faces shortly after.

Before making anything to eat, he brought you a plain white dress shirt, and you didn't understand the action of it.

"To replace what you have on, I can put your shirt in the wash to get the stain out. You can change in my room."

"Oh! No, you don't have to go through all this trouble it was my fault anyway." You respectfully declined but he cocked a brow up and leaned over, placing his palms on the table besides you.

"You'd work with a stained shirt even if your boss told you to change it?"

"Well, you're not my boss, are you?” You laughed while pushing your shoulder against his arm. "Oh, but I certainly can be." he smirked with arrogance, showing off those slightly sharper canines and you felt yourself get embarrassingly anxious again, trying to understand why you even felt the urge to joke around with him suddenly.

"Wait, I didn't mean like-...oh god..." you bowed your head slightly in gratitude and took the shirt from him, fumbling over your feet as you felt like a flustered idiot.

He sent you to his room to change into his much larger shirt and you were just as impressed in that room as you were in the other areas you had seen. Honesty the bedroom seemed bigger than your whole apartment. His bed was twice the size of yours, and more of those large floor-to-ceiling windows adorned the walls, showing off the beautiful city. The windows were tinted to not let the room be filled with the exceptionally bright morning sun, and otherwise the lighting was calm and relaxing. His bed faced the wall of windows, and a huge rug extended from underneath the bed to across the room. There was a small area off to the side with seating, and shelves built into the walls. Near that, was a small spiral staircase going up. As you walked towards the windows and looked up to where the stairs went, you could see it was an open area above. From the little bit that you could see, his closet was up there. It’s own personal floor.

You couldn't help but wonder what it was like to be in one of those cliché romance scenes, making love in the night with some guy you didn't know and able to see a view like this from the bedroom with no one really knowing what was happening behind simple glass.

Bad thoughts.

They were just bad thoughts constantly trying to plague your mind. You had a fiancé. These other thoughts were awful to even consider. Toji could be a complete asshole, but he was still the man you devoted your heart to.

Slipping on the oversized shirt, you slightly laughed. Toji didn’t let you wear any of his clothes, so seeing such a big shirt on your small frame was almost comical. But, it felt comforting, and it even smelled amazing.

You bundled it up as best as you could, tucking some of the excesses into your skirt so it just looked like a big poofy blouse. You checked yourself in a mirror on the wall by the door before walking out, and you caught your genuine smile in the reflection for but a moment, letting it quickly fade and you sighed deeply. It was hard to even recognize yourself with such a cheery face, and without a few marks here and there. This morning before leaving home you made sure to coat extra makeup on in those areas, scared anyone would see them. Toji could flip in an instant. Take a good day and making it awful over the smallest thing.

After giving your dirty blouse to Sukuna, he started the wash and began pulling things out to make for breakfast, having a casual conversation with you through the process.

Thursday 9:06 AM

"So...over an hour trip to get here?" He spoke up from the kitchen while you sat at the table in the dining room again.

"Yeah, it's not so bad, and I can do any extra paperwork while on the commute. I kind of like the alone time anyway..." you mumbled at the end. You let those bad and shameful thoughts come into your mind again, wondering how it would be to live in a place like this with some rich guy.

"Do you like an egg on rice?" he asked, breaking you out of your daze.

"Yes, I love it." you smiled thankfully and walked into the kitchen to see him. He had his sleeves rolled up, showing more of the tattoos on his wrists and not to mention the definition of his forearm muscles while he prepared whatever it was he was making.

You couldn't remember the last time Toji cooked you breakfast, or any meal for that matter. Yet this complete stranger was doing it for you? Seeing your distant saddened expression, Sukuna called out to you gently.

"You alright?" Your gaze went up to his quickly and you smiled while nodding your head.

"Absolutely. I, really appreciate all this, you really didn't have to treat me so kindly. I know we've talked on the phone a few times prior but, really only just met today..."

"Well, a pretty little thing like you deserves it." he grinned at you briefly before putting his attention back to what he was doing.

Slipping around the corner into the hall from his view, you put a hand over your chest as if you could calm your heartbeat from its sudden sporadic actions. Feeling your cheeks heat up again, you went back to the table, sitting down to hopefully focus on anything else than the tingling chills flowing down from your chest and crashing into the pit of your lower stomach.

You remained quiet, holding your drink in your hand while still occasionally drinking it, trying to keep your mind from wandering to things you know it shouldn't be doing, but you really couldn't help it.

Just seeing this other man smile at you in such a way, it almost felt like you were something that might have some value. Even if he was just pretending to be nice, still better than what you had to deal with at home sometimes. You loved Toji, but there were moments you felt as if he didn't have the same feelings anymore.

Maybe you didn’t have the same feelings anymore either.

Discreetly licking your lips as you watched Sukuna come from the kitchen with dishes in his hands, you weren't sure if you were drooling or not at this point.

As he sat the last dish down and seated himself across from you, you stared at all the food in awe. To be honest it was more than you had in a very long time.

"This...is a lot." you breathlessly whispered in excitement, trying to decide what to eat first. Eyes watched you from across the table, waiting for you to start eating, but noticed you sat patiently as if waiting for something yourself. At home, you never touched any food before Toji did, you had to wait til he said you could start eating. It was just habit at this point to wait for someone else to begin.

"(Y/N), you don't have to wait for me to start eating." A soft chuckle came from Sukuna after seeing you eagerly break from your patient position and go after something with haste, almost as if watching a starving dog react to a bowl of food set in front of it for the first time in weeks.

Trying to eat professionally without horffing down all of the food, you made small conversation so you wouldn't be stuffing your face at every chance you got. And it was relaxing, having small banter without yelling or stress, just, freely talking.

You found him very easy to talk to...and it was pretty obvious why. He was the boss, the CEO, and his confident personality let him easily read the energy of a conversation to come off as charming or affirming, whichever he needed to be.

Pulling the end of the chopsticks out of your mouth while finishing chewing, your gaze aimlessly stared onto the table. It was...calm, and quiet. Apart from the city noises outside of the early morning rushes, it was just so relaxing. No fighting, no phone constantly ringing from debt collectors looking for you. But, you almost felt afraid. Being able to enjoy a more relaxing environment while sitting with another man alone in his apartment while you ate the food he made seemed wrong on a certain level.

Toji would lose his shit if he ever found out about this.

Throughout the meal, when you were lost in what you were saying, Sukuna would casually push one of his full dishes more towards you, letting you absentmindedly eat from it.

Such a hungry little thing…

He thought while listening to the innocent conversation that wasn't centered around you but more about life in general and what there was to enjoy in the world that you knew of, what you wanted to do or hoped to do eventually.

Sure he was hungry and giving up most of his breakfast to you, but food wasn't an issue to obtain for him, and seeing how eagerly you kept eating like it was your last meal for a while, he wasn't going to take it away from you. After the two of you were done eating, you helped him carry any dishes back into the kitchen. You offered to wash them but he denied your help with that part, saying it will be taken care of later.

"Alright, I don't have anything else to ask of you. You actually had a well-put-together resume, and seem to be prepared for a job like this." He spoke casually while sitting back at the table. You took the seat from earlier and crossed your arms on the table, getting ready to prepare for whatever else he might discuss with you about this job.

"Any questions about what you'd be required to do at the office? Or any questions for me?"

"I don't think I have any questions, other than when is my first day?" You laughed jokingly but also hopefully. He hadn't officially said you were hired, but, nothing wrong in being hopeful.

Your confidence pulled a chuckle out of him and he shrugged slightly, leaning back into his chair while resting an elbow on the armrest and his cheek atop his knuckles. You intrigued him as you sat innocently cheerful across from him, yet some sort of painful distraction clearly in your mind that you were desperately trying to mask.

Overall he got the feeling you were a genuine and honest person, who tries to make sure everyone else is taken care of, but, you seemed afraid of so much.

"Well, it's already Thursday, so you can start Monday morning, what time does the early train leave from the station near your home?" "I think the earliest is about 5:50 am, and I should get here right before 8 am." You said quickly while biting back excitement, checking the schedules on your phone.

"8 am Monday morning then. Later on I'll go over the information on who everyone is that you'll need to talk to, where to go when you arrive, in addition to all your payment information, benefits, all that legal documentation crap."

You quickly stood from your chair and gave a bent-over bow of gratitude, trying to control your emotions. "I really appreciate this opportunity, you don't know how much this means to me...I really needed this job."

"Of course, doll. You have all the skills needed for the position, all the things I'm looking for. You've had experience, and I don't think you're someone I'll have to micromanage or worry about after you're done with the training." His deep voice lulled itself into your ears and you nodded along to what he was saying. You had built a pretty impressive resume, just better jobs were very hard to come by lately so you've had little to no luck in most places you applied to, which was making you a nervous wreck.

"Now that all the formalities are out of the way, how late are you here in the city?" He bluntly asked, making you fidget your thumbs together while you sat back down at the table. "Well, I actually reserved a hotel for the night 'cause I didn't think I'd be hired in my very first interview." You laughed meekly, still in a euphoria that you were able to get the job situation taken care of, and so quickly. "Is someone expecting you?" "Expecting me? What do you mean?" "Is there someone who expects you back at a certain time?" He chuckled quietly in his throat as a soft blush came over your face at his question.

"You're already aware that I have a fiancé." You immediately blurted out, not sure what his intentions suddenly were. Wasn’t that the right thing to say?

"And?" He let an up-curve grin take over his lips, running fingers through his pale pink hair, his expression revealing elation and your breath hitched in your throat again. And?

What was that supposed to mean?? "Is he at the hotel, or is he expecting you home tonight?" "Well, no, but-" "So how about I take you out later? I'll buy you dinner, get some drinks, and maybe make our way back here afterwards, unless you prefer your hotel." He continued casually, as if your answer truly meant nothing.

You stared at him for what felt like forever, unable to even form a thought at the moment.

"Are you actually asking me out right now?" A quiet voice fell out of your lips and he kept the side of his head against his knuckles still while watching you. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Hold on, even if I wasn't in a relationship already, you're my boss, the boss, isn't that conflict of interest? Since I’m supposed to be your personal assistant?” "Well considering it's mainly my company and I set the rules, not really. So you've nothing to worry about." "Except for the fact that I'm already with someone, so I can't accept your offer." "Cant, or won't?"

Your jaw dropped to his brash words as you stared at him incredulously. "Sir, if this is to secure my position at your company I-" "This has nothing to do with the job or me being your boss. I just like to enjoy the company of a beautiful woman and treat her to a good time.” You meekly laughed to his words, your cheeks turning more red as you looked away from his intense gaze and swallowed down nervousness . Honestly, Toji was the first and only guy you had been with, and it was years ago when he first asked you out. You were both still in Highschool, so you were young and dumb and eager to please. Confusing love with something else.

It did feel good to have some guy other than Toji show any kind of interest in you, but what if it wasn't genuine? A series of intrusive thoughts plagued your mind in an instant, causing worry and curiosity to grow in your gut. He said it wasn't a requirement, but what if it actually was?

"Consider it a professional outing if you need to." The man shrugged while drinking his coffee and your eyes darted back to his, feeling embarrassed to see his gaze still on you.

"If you're my assistant, you'll need to be with me at all times anyway."

Nibbling your bottom lip, you felt so nervous to even be having this conversation. He was incredibly hot, but you weren't that type of woman! You never let your eyes wander, nor let your thoughts fantasize about any other man that wasn't Toji. At least, you tried not to.

"I can't accept, I'm sorry..."

"No problem, sweetheart." Sukuna chuckled while standing from the table and for some reason you felt instant regret to deny his offer. This was so awful of you, how could you even briefly consider it? "I'll go over the other information then that you'll need to know.”

He suggested while filling up another cup of coffee in the kitchen and you let out a small sigh of relief. There was no harm in him asking, right? Some people do those types of things, so not like you could be angry that he simply asked.

But, you felt like you missed some once in a lifetime opportunity, and it made you feel sick. Maybe that was a test, and you failed.

~Thank you so much for reading!! Comments and Reblogs are much appreciated!

And aahhhh Sukuna is so cocky and arrogant! Of course, he wouldn't care if you were with someone or not. 🤤 But you are engaged, so you certainly can't do anything with anyone else! That would just be awful...

Or, would it..? Part 2!

Masterlist (Link)

#Sukuna x reader #jjk x reader #Sukuna smut #Sukuna fluff #Toji x reader #Toji smut #jjk smut

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diorcities · 2 years

Text

eternity

pairing: jaehyun x reader.

genre: fluff, smut.

content: established relationship, jaehyun's works on a café, domestic love, shower sex, unprotected sex.

masterlist — req

you felt run out of air while your eyes devoured each line of the book on your lap. as you tried to gain composure, flushing starts to burn your neck. your lips part open, your mind going wild. a single pair of features started to materialize, inevitably. it was more usual than you thought it was. your thoughts running free, feeling a fog tarnish your senses. and you couldn't focus anymore, pictured him in any poetry your eyes could land off. is this what falling feels like? whimpering because you cannot be eternal, so they turned you inmortal in every thing they can touch?.

how long were you been reading? he has no idea. yet, he's mesmerized. a glimpse of a smile danced in your lips, unbothered by everything around you. your whole self fixed in the book. a warm feeling floating in the air. calm. as a steady ocean. yet wild, for what's underneath. he could pledged guard, so it could remain as it is. so you could read a thousand books, if that made you feel dreamlike.

“how long have you been there?” you asked, catching him out of guard. he leaned on the door frame and looked at your lap. “what's that you're reading?” he said instead, in wonder. “nothing.”, your gazed fixed in the clock, your eyes opened slightly, “it's that late?” said, surprised, watching him heading to the bathroom. you went behind him, “how was your day?” you asked, through the sound of the shower. “i received good tips today” he begin to say, “that's nice.” his head peaked through the glass, small pearls of water dripping from her jet hair.

“come join me,” he asked, a coy smile appearing in his lips.

nothing but please him. you could die. see him must be holy. and you think, of course god exist, for this deadly beauty. his muscles were chiseled by some deity, because it is divinity itself. milky skin, silky hair and silky words. your fingers traced a whole path from his cheeks to his heart. was it beating for you?. a small gasp falling from your lips, as his touch land on your body. his lips resting on your neck, tattooing kisses. his voice pull you out of your daydream.

“how was your day?”.

“it was good, now it's better,” you answered, making him laugh.

“how come?”

“you.”

his lips drift off to your lips. shy. tender. and it tastes lovelike.

your back meet the cold surface of the tile walls, as he trapped you with his body. and shy become confident, and tender is replaced with lust. he desire you. your whole being. and you're willing to grant him his wishes, for you to be his, if he must.

your bodies intertwined, your feelings wired and the destructive kiss, melting you entirely. you couldn't resist the moans, coming from your mouth as a prayer that only he could fulfill. as your body twirled from his touch, wanting more. diying moans as diying stars. needy. eager. your hands fisted in his chest while his hands went dangerously down. spreading your legs, as he fits between them. a sweet burning in your entrance as he push himself in, a deep moan escaping his lips. pounding. feeling him as he thrust you. “you feel good, darling,” he whispered, “so good.” added in a moan.the warm feeling of him inside you make you arched your back, toes twirling. you want him closer.

“use your words,” he demanded.

“harder,” you said, with excitation.

a sweet sensation forming there where he's touching. reaching. a demolish feeling shaking your body, as your high passed.

“the water is getting cold,” he announced, you responded with a small sound, “let's go to bed”.

your body is lifted up with no effort. you going back to your five senses, commanded your limbs to dry your body as quickly as possible, eager for more. as soon as both were done, you're headed to the bedroom and deposited in the bed. his cold hands are a contrast to his warm tongue, tracing down your stomach drinking your scent, to your inner thighs, lefting kisses. hovering you, you looked in his eyes as he inserted himself with ease.

his movements more rough by having more stability. his unwrapping thrusts drove you at the edge of your sanity. a silky-smooth feeling filling your mind, the melody of your voices, a feeling of delight took root in your abdomen, tightening, wanting to be released from you.

you clenched as the orgasm washed your body. your walls pulsating each time hi come in and out, steady. “one more,” he asked, and no matter how tired you were, it wouldn't be enough. the same feeling of not having enough of each other.

you felt him readjusting himself from behind. lips part open when he entered inside. the remain sensation from the previous orgasm make you shiver. overstimulated. yet wanting more. a whole mess of thoughts, speechless. gasping and sobbing. a thousand emotions going through your mind. feeling him reaching out your spot, over and over, causing an explotion of suppressed pleasure. fisting the sheets in your hands, arching your back closer to him, him spilling his seed depper as you collapse into the space between sanity and limbo.

he pressed a kiss on your shoulder as he lifted himself up. you felt him disappearing from the room and coming back again. and slightly touch in your body, and disappearing again. you don't know how much time has passed till you come back to your senses, finding him with the book in his hand. “this character... do i have to be jealous?” you shaked your head, amazed. “you better not.”

he has no idea, whatsoever, that it doesn't matter how many books you read, whenever a boy appeared on them, you imagine yohno as them.

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct smut #nct 127 smut #jaehyun smut #jaehyun fic #jaehyun scenarios #nct hard hours #m:jaehyun #♡jaehyun

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studentinpursuitofclouds · 8 months

Text

"You are Amethyne..."

I decided to start writing little stories about Ridgeside Village too, because why not? This one is about conversation between Madame Maive and my OC Farmer Julian. ⚠️ Warning: domestic violence and angst

_________________________________________

"I must say, I'm very pleased with how you're doing with the farm. You have even exceeded all my expectations, and you never cease to amaze me so far."

Maive and Julian stood on the cliff near the cable car station, watching the horizon as the sun set behind the distant mountains, painting the clouds and the whole land with gold, orange, and bright red colors. In early fall, such a sunset creates a truly stunning and mesmerizing view, a dream for any photographer.

Sonny stood not far from them, also keeping his eyes on the magnificent view, on the beauty that Yoba had bestowed. He dared not interfere with the conversation between the Madame and the young farmer, for he felt it was something very personal. But still he looks at Maive for a moment, like a faithful dog, waiting for her to call him and take orders.

"Thank you, Mai- Madame", Julian quickly corrected himself, remembering how the head of the Amethyne family doesn't tolerate being addressed informally. He was usually shy when he was praised by someone (even though there was much to be praised for), believing that his actions and rich harvest spoke louder than words. And still, Maive's praise was very flattered, for it was hard to surprise noble madame.

Her own offspring can't accomplish that...

"Your hard work has helped in the development of not only Pelican Town, but also Ridgeside Village, and I am deeply happy that you are trying for the benefit of not only yourself, but others as well." The old madam spoke again.

"I want to thank you for that, farmer. On behalf of myself and the entire Amethyne family." Maive looked straight into Julian's multicolored eyes as she said the last phrase, with proud, as if he were her own child for having succeeded in exams.

Julian was slightly taken aback by such a frank admission, and only smiled broadly and sincerely, bowing slightly to Madame. This answer satisfied Maive quite well. "His parents have raised the boy to be a gentleman. Good to know", Maive thought with some relief.

"Between you and me, I'm amazed at how much patience you have with me. A lot of people I talk to usually think I'm callous when I'm not afraid to be honest about them. I thank you for that patience, for all of us."

They were both silent again for a moment, returning to contemplating the beautiful sunset. The rustle of leaves underfoot, the gentle cool breeze, and the smell of mushrooms-Julian loves autumn with all his heart, but after Maive's words, he couldn't concentrate on the scenery any longer. Memories come rushing into his head...

.................................

It seemed that Aria's crying was never ending and would soon escalate into a more loud, hysterical cry. "Gra- Grandmother..." "Ariah... You're Amethyne, now act like it!"

"Grandmother, stop! Don't say that about our family!" "How. Dare you?!" A loud slap was heard in the huge hall of the manor, and after a second, a shocked Zayne covered his cheek with his hand, feeling his skin reddening and burning. "So many children and grandchildren, and not a single worthy candidate! You are pathetic, all of you." Compared to Maive's cold words, the slap didn't hurt her grandson that much anymore.

"Don't even think about it, Louie! Your last exams had a score of less than 90%, and that's something I won't encourage. You will stay home to study", Louie shifted his gaze from his older brother to his grandmother, and he tilted his head, saying a little more quietly: "Yes, Grandmother. I'm sorry..."

"Living under constant pressure is unbearable." "I miss my parents and my brother so much..." "Ms. Ariah is very stressed today." "I'm such a coward." "Can we ever break this our family curse?! "Your father is just selfish, arrogant - "Mother, stop it!" *Sniff* *Hic* Grandmother...

"You're an Amethyne, now act like it!"

....................................

Julian took a deep inhale and exhale. The picture of the most famous family in the entire Republic was a very contradictory one. And yet it was these people-the ever-cranky Louie, the ever-busy Ariah, the ever-workaholic Irine and Sonny, the ever-impatient Maive, the ever-condemning Zayne, who was always judging himself for being a coward-they were the very people who had become his first friends in Ridgeside Village.

Grandpa and Grandma wouldn't be friends with bad people. And can you call a person exceptionally bad? It's much easier to look at the world as black and white. Except the world is all shades of gray.

Patience. This world need patience.

"Your grandparents were my best friends. They were there for me in joy and in sorrow", Maive once again raised her voice, catching Julian's attention. Her face expressed an unaccustomed sadness, it was rare for anyone to catch her like this, beyond her usual impassive expression, anger or annoyance.

It was as if the noble old lady could read minds, for she guessed what Julian was thinking. Even after everything, he gave her family a chance to get to know them better.

Just like his grandparents gave her a chance when she was young.

...............................

"Maive, explain yourself! Our servants saw you in the arms of those two peasants! Do you think that's how a young lady of your status should behave?"

"Mother!", Maeve was surprised at how defiant her voice sounded, "They are my friends!"

"Friends? Your "friends" are always walking around in dirty, filthy clothes like pigs, poking their noses into other people's business and hanging out with those strange men with swords! And you cal them your friends?"

"Don't you DARE say that about them!" Maive immediately regretted her raised tone when her mother quickly walked up to her and gave her a loud and painful slap.

"How dare you speak to me like that?! To your own mother! I put so much effort into protecting you, keeping you safe. I do everything for you. And this is how you thank me?!", Her voice was already breaking into hysterical notes, but she immediately quieted her fervor as her daughter fell to her knees and began to sob quietly, holding her right cheek with her snow-white hand.

"Maive..." The mother's heart clenched at the sight of what she had done to her own blood. But her gaze quickly changed, and she uttered a phrase that had haunted all members of the Amethyne family for generations. Like a curse, like an executioner's axe cleaving the air, making the walls of the old mansion tremble every time:

"Y o u a r e A m e t h y n e, s o a c t l i k e i t !"

.........................................

Following the young farmer's example, Maive also slowly took a deep breath in and out. Her whole life was a lifetime of service for her family, of striving for excellence and sacrificing so much for success, including her own happiness and mental health. The endless darkness of the golden cage of Amethyne, into which rays of light break through only occasionally, allowing them to feel free for a moment.

That ever-annoying farmer and his girlfriend became the very light in Maive's life. Just like their grandson became a ray of light for her and her descendants.

The Madame carefully, on her high heels, stepped closer to Julian, gently took his face and kissed him on the forehead. Poor Julian was, to say at least, shocked - he did not expect this from someone like Maive, how she looked at him tenderly, as his own mother looked at Julian...

"All the wealth of our family is not enough to thank you for all that you and your family have done for all of us", Julian could have sworn that when Maive pulled away from him, Madame's wrinkled eyes showed sparkling drops, like the purest diamond, that were about to run down her face.

#ridgeside village #rsv #rsv maive #farmer julian #sorry if you find some grammar mistakes #im too sleepy to check everything

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alcorian · 7 months

Note

Hmm tell me if u don't wanna get more asks about those two but dream from last night about opbee is hunting me. I honestly might make it into an au of sorts or small drabble???

I dunno but:

What if Bee and Optimus were paired for a reckon or some sort of spying mission were lying low is required and through that they slowly bond and fall in love.

I feel like the main scene of the dream would be the two discussing their feelings in Optimus office and being very close to each other, just very tender moment.

If I had to organise my thoughts it would be like randomly an idea floats around the ark about doing random pair work, maybe it stem from twins doing a prank too many in the med bay or to prowl or someone said something about Jazz special ops trainings, I dunno the main thing that stemmed from the even is that everyone in the ark gets randomly paired with different bot.

Essentially someone from science Division may end up doing special ops or surveillance mission or Prowl might have to do jet jitsu with twins.

Somehow, someway Bee and Optimus got paired together- Teletran-1 is strangely silent about it -which led to few grumbles here and there but those bits were quickly distracted when they got paired with people they hated or disliked. Bee is keeping it together but like barely BC damnit that's his crush and he gonna make fool of himself and just spirals down from there.

Whilst Optimus looks calms on the outside he is panicking like bumblebee, maybe worrying a bit more about this whole idea seeing the chaos but that ship had sailed. Anyway, whilst everyone gets chaotic first hour, bee and Optimus get to just know each other beyond leader and soldier.

Like maybe Optimus had paperwork or bumblebee had to do Inventory or something to that extend but just- They talk they learn they feel.Maybe there is opportunity for field mission for bumblebee and it's quite low key one so both Optimus and Bee get to go on it. Maybe it's spying on some decepticon mining facility or something but it goes well.

Untill it isn't well and the two have to hide.

Optimus probably reacted instinctively or maybe he was a lookout whilst Bee did most of the spying but the second he spots the approaching danger he grabs Bee and hides them in the shadows of the smaller caverns in the cave which forces them to be flush against each other.

Bee is confused at first when he was grabbed but second he spots the danger too he quietens down and listens out for it too, only realising how close he and Prime are when he tries to shift making Bee blush like crazy and it takes all of his will power to not make startled sound or for his fans to kick in.Optimus doesn't realise what happen untill much later when he has time to digest the day events in his quarters.

If he avoids Bee optics next day that's no one business but his.

Anyway just the two slowly bonding and having those lightbulb moments of "oh O H " untill the last day of the whole partnered up thing, in Optimus office as the two do their work, feeling so domestic so comfortable for maybe first time in eons of the war Optimus takes that final gamble. Slowly he putting the paperwork away, much to Bee confusion as his own files are taken and put away, Optimus looks at Bumblebee and lowers his battle mask- noting the way Bee optics widen and how mesmerized bee looks -and just speaks.

It's not like his usual usual speeches, crafted to the perfection and carrying words of encouragement for the wary troops, no. Optimus stumbles and backtracks and keeps it as honest as he can as he bares his feelings, ever the soldier ever the prime, despite wanting to look away, he can't as he watches for bee reaction.

Bee takes it in, the confessions, the actions, the words. Bee takes in Prime and realises that Optimus means it. He isn't taking pity he isn't joking he means it. And just as Optimus starts to doubt, Bee speaks. Offering his side, his confessions his actions as he lets the always cherry persona mask fall. Showing his weariness and the ugly he keeps away for benefits of others.Slowly but surely they talk they confess and discuss and they come closer and closer for their first kiss.

Whatever happens next is well up in the air.

I think it be funny if the two started dating but didn't try to hide it all that much and autobots don't pick it up untill after like final battle of the war where Bee or Optimus borderline make out in the battle field.

I dunno I just enjoy the trope where two people are dating without hiding it but people around them think they are oblivious to each other feelings or don't notice it untill it's spelled out to them.

But yeah :D

-@);-- R Anon

And once again I do apologise for any spelling or other mistakes, I am after work and not wearing glasses cause ouche

ahhhh yes im always here for more opbee, i love them

#askbox #Anonymous #opbee #optimus prime #bumblebee #transformers

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roxenworks · 8 months

Text

Out Of The Pan And Into The Fire

This is my first original post! A scenario between my two OCs, the ones I'll probably write the most. TW// implied domestic abuse, magical whump, captivity whump, abuse.

Apollo sat on the ground, staring at the forest floor. His father had left him to wait for his “mentor” to arrive. It has been hours, and there was no one in sight. He knew better than to try to run off, though, Father would find him and...Apollo shivered. He just sat and looked down. He wasn't sure if his mentor would like eye contact.

Apollo had waited all day, it was only until the sun was starting to go down that he heard footsteps. He hurried to stand up, still looking down. “My name is Apollo Asteria, my father told me you would be my mentor for dark magic. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” He spoke out loud to whoever was near, even if it was just some Wyrm, he didn't dare test his luck.

“A mentor...?” A slow drawl rings out from right behind Apollo and he flinches. Oh right. They could teleport. “Sure. Raise your head.” Apollo obeyed, seeing a hooded figure before him. “Name's Elliot...age 19...pronouns are he/him and they/them...I'm one of the First Prince's dogs, seems I'm getting spoiled, though.” Elliot mumbled as he gave Apollo a once over, circling him.

“I- I'm Apollo Asteria, I'm 18 years old, pronouns...he/him? I'm the only child of Duke Asteria. Nice to meet you, Sir.” He bowed and gave a weak smile. He wasn't very sure about this guy, but they were strong, right? Only a year older than him, too, was he really that pathetic?

Elliot continued to circle him, “Sir...I like the sound of that. You're coming with me.” With a clear snap, Apollo had their body wrapped in tight ropes, a blindfold over his face. It was magic, dark magic. The feeling of it on him burned a certain sickening familiarity. His knees gave up as he was strung into the air and carried along.

The trip was silent, Elliot didn't say a word, and Apollo was too focused on appearing as stable as possible. Just smile and stay still. He could do this, he may be slow, but he could please Elliot for sure. Father placed great importance on this, after all, he even got his clothes packed for him! A mere touch of dark magic could not deter him!

“We're here.” Apollo yelped as he was tossed to the ground, he quickly got up and dusted himself off. He checked himself completely. Apollo was dressed much more plainly, in simple black leathers. The only thing showing any status being the medallion on his chest with the Asteria symbol on it. There was a simple shoulder bag, enchanted to hold much more than the originally possible. Apollo had no clue what was inside, he didn't dare check until he was inside and to settle down.

The house itself was grand, more of a mansion than anything, it was in rundown condition, as if it hadn't been used for years. “Let me see that medal.” Elliot stretched his hand out and chuckled as Apollo handed it over.

Elliot pulled down their hood and inspected the medallion, Apollo gulping as he saw Elliot's features. Oh, they really did look their age, but their eyes, mesmerizing to look at. There was no pupil, just a spiraling black and white iris. He'd never seen anything like it, was it natural? Nevertheless, it was beautiful.

Apollo wished he was that charming, maybe father would value him more, or someone would take him away and love him forever...

“Think fast.” Elliot's voice does not prepare him for the medallion that whizzes right past his face, cutting his cheek. Apollo stumbled away from Elliot and brought his hand up to his cheek. It was fine, just a regular cut but- He looked back -The medallion now resembled scrap metal. Apollo gulped, that should be impossible, but it seems his mentor is very strong. That's...a good sign. he couldn't get caught up in daydreams.

“Don't stare at me.” Elliot's voice was less sluggish, he sounded more annoyed. “Your father gave me a whole list of punishments he's used. It would be a shame to use them on the first day.” Apollo felt his heart drop, he foolishly hoped that he would be free from his father's influence for a little while.

“Sorry Sir.” Apollo bowed his head.

“Yeah yeah, don't call me Sir either. Just Elliot.” The door opened as Elliot entered, motioning Apollo to enter. He did, now looking down.

The inside was wood, and from what Apollo could see of his surroundings, humble. Most of what decorated the place were antiques. What was someone like Elliot doing in such an aged place?

"Elliot, what do you want me to do now?" Apollo was really hoping he could unpack and check their room for a moment. Perhaps he could even have some privacy.

"I want to test your endurance. After everything Duke Asteria did to you, you must be pretty sturdy, right?" Apollo felt himself start to sweat. Endurance? They were both Dragons, most things would heal over.

"My healing ability is-"

"No, not that. Let me rephrase that, how's your pain tolerance for dark magic?" Apollo involuntarily took several steps back, his back hitting the wall. "Would be a shame if our dear Duke didn't even get me an interesting toy." The crackle of lightning followed Elliot's words.

“Toy? I don't understand. I'm sorry for-” Apollo got cut off again but a black line heading straight to his stomach. He fell to his knees, curling himself into a ball. Sharp pains came from his stomach, as if his insides were being sliced by several thousand tiny knives. “I'm sorry Elliot. I'll behave.” This amount of pain wouldn't stop him from acting courteous. He wasn't crying yet!

Elliot laughed softly, “I'm going to beat the shit out of you. Every day. I wanna know if I can fuck up what Duke Asteria did to you.” They approached Apollo on the ground.

Apollo was now very very confused, why is this happening to him? What did he do wrong? Did father lie to him? He flinched, his hair being tugged up into the air, forcing Apollo to make eye contact with Elliot. "Why?"

"It's what you're here for. You've been abandoned, Apollo, open up your eyes." Elliot slapped him across the face.

"No. No Father wouldn't! What about mom..." The slap didn't hurt as much as the thought of being left to rot, or how his mom suffered for him, only for this to happen. "You're lying! Why would he do this? I did everything for him. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That can't be it." Apollo started struggling against the grip on his hair. He needed to go back, even if he got punished, he needed to know the truth.

"I'll prove it to you." Elliot dropped Apollo onto the floor. Looking up, Apollo saw the black lightning curl around Elliot's arm. It shot toward him before he could even convince his body to move. It now shocked his entire body, scattering into sharp glass and cut him inside out. Not a drop of blood spilled.

Elliot snapped their finger and Apollo choked as a force hit his body and he fainted. It was only for a few seconds, and his body felt completely sore, as if he really did get lashed and left to sit for hours.

"Drag yourself up and get a room, you have a minute to get upstairs." Apollo took a deep breath in, he had to move. Elliot had his Father's techniques...unless that was a lie? He hoped it was. He started dragging himself towards the staircase slowly, this wasn't enough to toy with him. Apollo reached the first step and let themselves pause for a moment.

"Times up." Elliot appeared in front of Apollo, and placed a sharp claw on the back of Apollo's neck.

"Please. I don't know why you're doing this." Apollo shivered at the feeling of the claw piercing his skin. It filled him with dread. Though he had no clue why.

Elliot sighed in faux sadness. “I have to make sure my new toy can't run away.” A dark power flowed into the claw in his neck along with Elliot's words. The feeling itself was almost the worst thing Apollo ever felt, and that meant that he had no choice but to scream.

Scream he did. It burned his entire neck, filling it with something awful. Apollo had long since abandoned any self-preservation instinct, all he could do was scream and cry. It was as if there were snakes under his skin, curling around his neck. It burned worse than dark magic, somehow. After a minute of tossing and turning, the burning stops, and fades into a dull throb around his neck.

“There.” Elliot stopped observing him. “Dinner at 15. If you're not there by then, you're not eating.” He walked away, leaving Apollo to get up and drag himself up the stairs. He wondered if he should thank Elliot for the room. What would Elliot be pleased by him saying? If Apollo wanted to survive, he needed to figure out how to please his new...benefactor.

(Later, when Apollo was allowed to sleep in the room he chose, he saw his neck now had a brand on it. A black ring around his neck. He broke down in tears soon after.)

#whump writing #magical whump #fantasy whump #captive whumpee #tw implied abuse #uhhh lets hope those are good. tell me if I should add any tags #whump oc #roxenwriting

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harryfeatgaga · 1 year

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I’m literally obsessed with every single detail of this man!! The way he smiles, the crinkles by his eyes, the clip that holds back his hair or how he gets cold sometimes so he wears beanies to cover his slightly pink tinted ears, his forehead that I very much want to kiss, the way his nose moves when he laughs, the birthmark by his lips, his beautifully deep voice that I desperately want to hear waking up in the morning vibrating his chest, want to feel him exhale and breathing against my neck when cuddling, want to lay my head on his chest, listen to his heartbeat, trace his tattoos, and ever so often look up at him and get mesmerized by the beauty of him. I want to feel the warmth of his hands against me, ugh how I love his beautiful hands. I want to feel the weight of his legs resting against mines. I want to do domestic things with him. I want to brush my teeth in the morning with him, eat breakfast, rant about life, laugh about the dumbest things, go on car rides to nowhere in particular but just bask in the presence of one another. I want to sit and watch him in the studio, the way he writes, the way his eyebrows furrow when he concentrates, the way his taps against the table in tune to a melody in his head, watch the passion and excitement in his eyes as he does the one thing he’s so loves most, making music, I want to make visits with him to meet his family, I want to participate in his family game nights, I want to watch they way interacts with his loved one, I want to see the unconditional love they show for him and for him to feel all that love, I want to play board games with him and watch how competitive he is. I want to isolate myself from the world and seek refuge with him indoors. I want to memorize every single detail of him. I want him. I need him. And as insane this all may sound, I don’t care because no one would simply ever do. And the idea that there’s actually people who got to experience this with him. That got to feel and understand what it’s like to be in a relationship with him. How would one continue without him after a break up? How do those people live life knowing what they just lost or gave up? He doesn’t even feel real sometimes like he’s just some fictional character trapped in my phone. But going to a concert just knocks reality back into you…And to think that there’s one person who’s lucky enough to be with him forever in the foreseeable future, who gets to spend the rest of their life loving him and being loved by him. Who gets to experience every single part of him, every single experience, every morning and night. Who gets to experience all his love, the way his heart races for them, the way he smiles for them, the way their his muse. The way he can’t help but feel like the luckiest person because his love for this person was worth the wait, every thing in life has brought them to him. And they’ll start a family together. And have every milestone together, that I so desperately want with him… everything I feel for him and the love I have for him, he would feel exactly the same but for another.. a hard pill to swallow. Yet this physically pains me, my love for him is beyond bounds. And the idea of him being so in love and happy is all I would ever want for him, even though it’s not with me. All I could ever wish for him is the best.. we all would just sit aside and gush over how amazing of a father he is, or talk about how in love and happy he is from occasional post from his family, or maybe interviews, little fan interactions filmed of him with his family, or pap pics. And despite all the happiness you feel for him, you can’t help but feel the smallest tinge of pain sitting in your heart that you desperately sheltered away, but ever so often emerges. Because it wasn’t you.

Oh wow this was……..beautiful and also depressing because I NEEED HIMMMMMMM 😭😭😭💖💖💖

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refinedbuffoonery · 2 years

Text

Looking Through A Window (15)

macriley married undercover au

masterlist.

Not me posting a new chapter with no warning after dropping off the face of the earth. I wrote this in one sitting and didn't edit it, but an update is an update. xoxo

*****

Everything has changed.

Nothing has changed.

It should be impossible for both to be true, yet Mac cannot explain it any other way. From the moment he confessed, he’s been terrified their relationship will crumble under the weight of the truth. But in fact, the opposite has happened. With their shared secret now out in the open, their relationship feels more genuine, the way it did back in the early days—easy and uncomplicated. The safety, the comfort, that easy domesticity, all of it the same as it was before, but now there’s a new sense of closeness, of a wall finally taken down, that makes it all that much more precious. For the first time, it feels like they’re two people building and occupying a shared space, not simply two people cohabitating.

Mac can hardly believe this is real.

He sees Riley sitting at the table with no makeup on (a rarity for her), working on her laptop, and he’s convinced this is some elaborate dream, and it’s only a matter of time before he wakes up. But then later she joins him on the couch and tosses her legs over his lap, and he absently traces shapes along her calves while he reads and she closes her eyes. She squirms when his fingers graze the backside of her knee. Before this op, he hadn’t realized how ticklish she is.

Gazing at her, Mac smiles fondly, his fingers still dancing across her skin.

“Why are you doing math on my leg?” she grumbles without opening her eyes.

He pauses. “I’m not?”

“You just wrote the symbol for ‘derivative,’ so I’d argue otherwise.”

“Didn’t realize I was doing it.”

Riley sighs. “I came over here for a nap, and all my brain wants to do is solve whatever equation you keep writing.” Mac smiles at that.

“Nerd.”

Harley comes over, nosing Riley’s arm until she gives in and pets her. Tufts of undercoat come loose in the wake of Riley’s scratching, and Mac watches it fall to the floor, already thinking about which chore he can offer to do in order to get out of vacuuming later.

He relaxes further into the couch cushions, reveling in the safety of their home, of their little family. Naps have never been Mac’s thing, but his eyes close of their own accord. Setting his book down, Mac allows himself to fall asleep.

When he wakes, the setting sun shines through the front windows, the golden light bright in his eyes but soft as it blankets Riley’s sleeping form. Her eyes open slowly, looking like they’re illuminated from within as light passes through them, turning her deep brown irises a bright, mesmerizing amber.

Her toes dig into his thigh, dragging him out of his stupor.

“Hey!” he exclaims as she clenches her toes even more.

“Hey yourself,” she fires back.

Without thinking, Mac lunges over her, tickling her sides. Riley shrieks and tries to roll off the couch to safety, but Mac straddles her hips, trapping her. Despite her laughter-laced protests, he doesn’t stop. She ambushed him first, after all.

Riley pushes against his chest, but when that doesn’t work her training kicks in, and she’s now trying to flip him onto the floor, albeit half-heartedly. Adrenaline pumps through his veins as his body oscillates between the instinct to win this little brawl and the high of being tangled with her. Grinning, Mac breaks her hold easily, pressing her deeper into the cushions. She’s good, but he’s better, and soon she’s tapping his arm in surrender.

Satisfied, he says, “I accept your surrender, my lady.”

“Oh how generous,” Riley mocks, but then she bites her lip in a way that sends every thought out of Mac’s brain.

He lets himself look at her. Really look at her. His thumb brushes the thin lines extending from the outer corners of her eyes. He’s never noticed them before, since her everyday makeup hides them. There’s also a faint scar along her hairline, from years ago when she smacked her head on an op. “You,” Mac says, “are so beautiful.”

He kisses her forehead, causing Riley to shudder.

Then her cheek.

Her hands return to his chest, but this time she doesn’t push him away.

“Do you know what you do to me?” His breathing grows ragged. Something warm pools in his abdomen, at the base of his spine. Their noses brush as his lips hover above hers.

Her thumb pressing into his lips stops Mac from closing the distance between them.

He wants to kiss her. Badly. So so badly.

He could do it. Right now. All it would take—

Suddenly a wet nose is in his face, followed by a large, fluffy head knocking into his. Harley inserts herself between them, begging for attention. Mac groans, but Riley laughs—a bright sound that warms his insides and soothes the edges of his frustration. He was so close this time. So close.

He does, however, get a kiss from Harley. Several, in fact.

*****

Predictably, at the first council meeting after the fundraiser, Conrad asks Mac to accompany him back to his office once the session is over. With a knowing look, Riley lets him go with a promise to meet her and Harley back at the car.

If they hadn’t brought Harley, there’s no way Mac would’ve let her out of his sight.

He follows Conrad through the warehouse to a small, windowless room containing little more than a cheap desk strewn with papers and a crooked office chair. What a drab place to work from, Mac thinks. No wonder Conrad is so cranky all the time.

Conrad sits. Mac stands. The lack of a second chair is intentional.

“Get in touch with your bomb maker,” Conrad directs. “We’re ready to place an order.”

Despite his desperation to fidget, Mac forces his body to still. Fidgeting will make him look nervous, and nervousness will lead to questions he doesn’t want asked.

He imagines how Riley would stand were she in his shoes right now—hands behind her back, chin up, wide stance. Asserting herself. Taking up space. But that’s not Mac’s style. Instead he shoves his hands in the front pockets of his pants, casual-like, leaving his thumbs out. “I am the bomb maker,” he says.

Conrad’s crooked grin widens, displaying his yellowed teeth. “Excellent.”

By the time Conrad finishes explaining what he wants built, Mac is sure of one thing:

This is a mistake.

*****

There are only two beers left in the fridge, and Mac intends to drink both of them. The pale amber liquid slides easily down his throat. It’s not enough; two beers won’t give him enough of a buzz to mute his meeting with Conrad, but it’ll be better than nothing.

He doesn’t bother to throw the first bottle in the recycle before cracking open the second and raising the cold glass to his lips.

“Hey,” Riley says from beside him, covering his hand with hers and guiding the bottle away from his lips and down to the counter. “Slow down.”

Her eyes search his, although Mac isn’t quite sure what she’s looking for. She must find it, because her gaze turns heartbreakingly soft as she pleads, “Talk to me. Whatever you’re looking for, you won’t find it at the bottom of that.” Her voice is soothing, and Mac attempts to focus on that instead of the rage coursing through him.

“Fuck them,” he spits. He hasn’t yet told her what Conrad asked for, but she doesn’t flinch at his outburst. Nor does she seem surprised.

Mac isn’t sure that’s a good thing.

“What does he want?”

“A bomb.”

“I know that.”

Mac takes another swig from his beer. It’s half gone already. “He wants me—us—to blow up the capitol building with the current governor and his entire staff in it.”

She’s smart enough to fill in the gaps herself. “Cody’s not predicted to win. He is. They’re rigging the election in their favor.” A quick nod confirms Riley’s theory.

The next string of words out of her mouth is foul and filthy yet somehow still not harsh enough.

“I already talked to Matty. She wants us to do it.”

That conversation set his blood boiling. Matty assured him she’ll ensure the building and surrounding area are completely clear when they set off the explosion, but the risk of collateral damage is too great for him to brush it aside that easily. Part of him even likes building bombs. But not when it’s this. Not when it’s murder.

He finishes the second beer in a few large swallows. He wishes they had something stronger.

A few shots of hundred-proof anything—just enough to blur the edges of his harsh reality.

He can’t do this. The personal cost of this job has always been high, but the events of the last two years have made him start to question whether the price is still worth it. This time, Mac thinks, this time the price is too high. If anything goes wrong, hundreds of people could die, and their blood would be on his hands alone.

He can’t do this.

“Mac, you can’t keep doing this.” Riley’s voice is gentle, but it’s enough to bring him out of his head, for now.

“I know. A bomb that size, I don’t even—” She cuts him off with a shake of her head.

“Not that.” Her hand wraps around his again, the one holding the now-empty beer bottle. “This.”

Mac blinks.

She continues, “I know you’re in the habit of drinking to take the edge off, but I can’t . . . Not around me. Please.”

His brain shifts gears instantaneously, and guilt sinks like a stone in the sea of alcohol churning in his stomach.

“All these years and you’ve never said anything. I didn’t think it . . .” Mac trails off.

Of course she didn’t say anything. She avoids talking about Elwood, even when their relationship is good. Sure she drinks, but it’s for fun. Not to feel . . . numb.

He’s gone on benders before. But it’s always been Jack who forced him back to sobriety, or Bozer, or Desi. Never Riley.

The longer he thinks about it, the more Mac realizes maybe she’s been saying something all along, through her actions.

Now that she’s finally saying it aloud, she looks deeply uncomfortable, and Mac hates that he’s the cause of it.

“I’ll stop,” he finally manages to say. He un-clenches his fist from around the bottle and pushes it across the counter.

Mac tugs Riley closer, and she steps into his personal space without hesitation. Although he wouldn’t blame her if she had hesitated. He raises a hand to her face, brushing the backs of his fingers against her cheek.

I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel unsafe.”

“Thank you,” she breathes, resting her hands on his chest.

The urge to protect her swells in his chest, beneath her hands. That urge has lived inside of him for years. When they first met, it had taken him longer than he cares to admit to stop seeing her as a criminal and to fully trust her, as his friend. But over time that urge penetrated deeper into his being, morphing from his innate desire to protect a person, then to protect someone important to Jack, then his teammate, his friend, and finally, someone who meant even more than that.

He’s rarely willing to change himself for another person. But this request he can fulfill, this habit he can break. For her.

He brushes this thumb across her lower lip.

Her lips part. He leans in.

Not like this.

She sees it the second the spell breaks, whispering his name. He closes the distance between them, not for a kiss on the lips, but on the forehead, soft and full of gratitude.

Grateful for her patience. And her forgiveness.

Their heads rest together, forehead to forehead, nose to nose.

“I don’t deserve you.”

Her lips ghost across his, so quick and light it hardly counts as a kiss.

“You do.”

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#beth writes #macriley #macgyver #angus macgyver #riley davis #macgyver fanfiction #looking through a window au

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