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leaderwonim · 4 months

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𓇻 I’M A FEMINIST, OBVIOUSLY, BUT I WOULDN’T REALLY MIND HIM SAVING ME.

▸ PAIRING.. class president!yang jungwon x outcast!fem!reader

▸ SYNP. jang y/n hated yang jungwon. perfect, loved by everybody, class president yang jungwon. people only liked him because he was a man and he was charismatic. however, when she’s being picked on by the girls at school, yang jungwon comes to her rescue, and weirdly, she didn’t mind it?

▸ GENRE. enemies to lovers (it’s one sided though, yn just hates jw😭) angst, mentions of bullying, mentions of sexism, fluff

author’s note: this is based off of olivia rodrigo’s unreleased song! This was honestly so much fun to write and it took me about 3 days cause I fell violently ILL like the day after I started writing😭 As usual, REBLOGS and COMMENTS are so greatly appreciated <33

Jang Y/N was what people called an outcast. Although she was pretty and had the grades, she heavily disliked half of her class, which in turn, didn’t exactly make her very popular.

“I hate him.” She says as she shoves a spoonful of rice into her mouth. Her only friend was her sister, Wonyoung, who told her that she shouldn’t be so negative all the time.

“Who, Jungwon?” Wonyoung asks, frowning. “Yah Y/N, you can’t hate him forever. He’s nothing but nice to you.”

“I don’t care,” Y/N mumbles angrily, putting away her lunch. “Wonyo, people only like him because he’s a man who can say a few charming words. He smiles and at least half of our class falls onto their knees or something.”

Wonyoung chokes at her sister’s comparison, and can’t help but let out a little laugh. “I’m just saying Y/nie, you can’t just despise him because he seems perfect to the naked eye. In fact, I say become friends with him. It’ll be good for you.”

Y/N shuts down the idea right away, much to Wonyoung’s dismay.

“I am just saying,” Wonyoung stands up, finished with her lunch. “I mean, don’t you find it sad? That you eat lunch everyday with your sister instead of eating with friends or a boyfriend?”

“No,” Y/N says, frowning. “I like eating lunch with you Wonyo.”

“Hm, I guess.”

The Jang sisters lock arms, strolling to their next class. They miss the longing glance that Yang Jungwon sends towards Y/N’s direction, already too far gone into the Decelis Academy hallway.

‏‏‎ ‎

Unfortunately for Y/N, she had her leadership class with Jungwon, where they would discuss things like student politics and how to better the school so that Decelis could stay at its rightful place of number one on private academy rankings.

It was stupid, Y/N thought, Decelis shouldn’t even be close to number one, this school was filled with a bunch of spoilt children who were obsessed with the idea of money and power.

“Is there a problem, Miss. Jang?” The teacher asks, noticing the little scoffs she was adding each time Jungwon spoke about an initiative he wanted to add.

“No,” Y/N shrugs. “I just think Yang Jungwon’s new initiative is just a waste of time. It's not going to solve anything.”

Jungwon smirks, something that Y/N so desperately wants to wipe the floor with. “Y/N, always the critic of my ideas. Very well, let’s hear your brilliant solution.”

She rolls her eyes. Of course Yang Jungwon wanted to pretend to remain civil, if he had blown up on her, it would’ve tarnish his reputation, and Yang Jungwon would be nothing without his reputation, right?

“Instead of your one-size-fits-all approach method, we need personalized mentorship programs. Each student faces unique challenges, and your initiative doesn't address that.”

Jungwon smiles. “Well I suppose you’re right. But perhaps if you actually joined the initiative, you'd understand its effectiveness.”

Y/N grits her teeth, not enjoying how much Yang Jungwon was enjoying this. “Oh, right, because following the herd blindly is the key to success? Unlike half of Decelis’ population, I prefer independent thinking.”

The boy leans closer in, face almost touching the girl. “Sometimes collaboration is the key to progress, Y/N. Try it sometime.”

The two students make eye contact until Y/N breaks, finally pulling her eyes away.

“As usual, Yang Jungwon always has to be right.” She mumbles under her breath. “God, please save me from being in this class any longer,”

‏‏‎ ‎

Y/N throws her backpack on the floor as soon as she steps into her house, not caring about the expensive computer her grandmother had bought her last Christmas that was stuffed inside. Her parents were in the kitchen, discussing something in hushed whispers, almost as if it was top secret.

Always being the curious child, she leans onto the wall that separated the living room and kitchen, trying to make out what the topic was about.

“I��m just worried honey,” she can hear her mom say as her dad rubs her back comfortingly. “Y/N doesn’t have a lot of friends at that school, Wonyoung told me about it. You know she only hangs out with her sister and that’s it?”

“I mean, is it really that bad that she only hangs out with Wonyoung? She’s always been quiet, I think we’ve just got to respect that. She’s an excellent student anyway, there’s no harm in having little friends.”

Although her parents truly just wanted the best for her, Y/N felt like a complete loser by how they were going about it.

She quickly rushed to her room, biting her lip in annoyance at how everybody seemed to have an opinion about her life. She was happy with how it was going, and she didn’t care that her only friend was her sister, Wonyoung was a sweetheart and lived with her, it was a built in best friend for life.

“Just you wait,” Y/N huffs, sharpening her pencil. “I’m gonna go to university, leave this place, and I won’t have to hear about any of these kids ever again.”

‏‏‎

Y/N woke up the next day with a red eye, probably from crying last night despite telling herself she didn’t care.

She cared, a lot.

Romanticizing being alone was fun until she realized that she was truly all alone, with no friends to lean on.

“Is that Jang Y/N?”

Park Jiwon. The devil herself. She was evil as she was pretty, and she had no problem making Y/N’s life a living hell.

“Where’s Wonyoung? Did your own sister finally get tired of you?” Her little group of minions laugh as if it was the funniest thing ever, and Y/N tries and stops herself from giving them all a swing to the face.

“No, but I’m sure you’re used to that feeling, right Jiwon?”

“Oh you little b—”

“Jiwon, you can’t hit her! You’ll get suspended and it’ll go on your permanent record.” Her friend says, which makes the girl straighten up right away.

“You’re lucky Jang,” the girl snarls. “But yah, what were you thinking? Talking back to Jungwon? He’s so smart and handsome, dedicating his time to make initiatives for the school. You should be more grateful.”

She and her minions get so close that they practically push Y/N back onto the locker, suffocating her with their glares.

“Hey, what’s going on here?” The voice of Jungwon doesn’t go unnoticed by a single girl, who, all but Y/N, straighten up their hair when they realize he’s behind them.

“We’re just talking, right Y/N?” Jiwon says, pinching onto the girl tightly.

“Really? It doesn’t seem like it.” Jungwon rolls his eyes. “Park Jiwon, don’t make me give you detention for picking on other students. It doesn’t make you attractive.”

The girl gasps, immediately letting Y/N go as her face heats up in embarrassment.

“I wasn’t—”

“Just go.” With one point of a finger, Yang Jungwon got Park Jiwon and her minions out of the hallway, leaving Y/N and him alone.

“You okay?” He asks her, eyes concerned.

“Thank you,” she breathes out. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Why didn’t I?” He raises his eyebrows. “You were getting picked on.”

“Well, I’m not the nicest to you.” The girl says, suddenly embarrassed. “At all, actually. So thank you Jungwon, really.”

“Ah,” the boy smiles. “It’s nothing. I don’t hate you if that’s what you think, I think you have a brilliant mind just like me.”

And for the first time since she’s stepped into the school, Jang Y/N finds herself liking Yang Jungwon, and not just for his looks.

‏‏‎

“Y/N!” The loud voice of Yang Jungwon doesn’t go by Wonyoung, who gives her sister a smirk as she slightly pushes back her shoulder.

“Wonder why he’s coming,” she teases, which makes Y/N scrunch up her nose in annoyance.

“Would you like to come with me to this new bread place?” He asks, hands on his knees as he catches his breath. “Sorry—I ran all the way from the cabinet office to here.”

“It’s alright,” Y/N giggles, which makes Wonyoung’s eyes pop out of their sockets because she swears she never heard that sound coming from her sister’s mouth before. “I’d love to Jungwon.”

“Great! I’ll uh.. I’ll see you later!”

Wonyoung turns to face Y/N as soon as Jungwon leaves, giving her the biggest grin ever. “What was that?!”

“Let’s just say, I don’t hate Yang Jungwon anymore.” Y/N smiles, laughing as she watches Wonyoung’s jaw practically drop to the ground.

‏‏‎

“It’s cold, isn’t it?” Jungwon says as he and Y/N walk to the new bread place.

“Yes,” Y/N puffs out, “I should’ve brought a jacket.”

Before she knew it, Jungwon already takes off his jacket and wraps it around the girl’s shoulder.

“Jungwon,” she whines, “then you’ll be cold!”

“It’s alright really!” He laughs, giving her a big smile. “I’m practically invincible to cold. Was just asking because you seemed to be freezing.”

“You’re sweet,” she says, looking down at her feet. “I feel really guilty for trying to one up up all the time or prove you wrong. I just hate it, you know?”

“Hate what?”

“You might not realize it but a lot of people don’t want to hear what I say because I’m a woman, and that’s it. Just because I’m a woman. Like sometimes, I have ideas just as brilliant and changing as yours, but everybody says I’m complaining and over analyzing. When you say it, with your handsome face and clear voice, everybody’s suddenly entranced, and they’re so interested in school politics.”

“So you think I’m handsome?”

Y/N rolls her eyes, pushing back Jungwon slightly as he laughs.

“I’m kidding, Y/N. I know what you mean now. I’m sorry that I can’t change how people view and perceive things, but I want you to know that I listen to your ideas, that I care. You might not realize this either but whenever you’re talking, I always listen. Like your initiative about bringing better programs into the school, I listened through the whole thing because I just—I’m inlove with the way you articulate things and the way you speak. If I was half as good at speaking my mind like you were, I’d be unstoppable. You’re a great person, Y/N, and I’m so glad I’m able to see that.”

The way Yang Jungwon speaks about her makes Y/N want to cry and smother him in a hug, which she does a second later by bringing him into a bone crushing hug.

“Thank you Jungwon.” She says, face in his neck. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He feels like he’s out of breath by how close the two of them were, his heartbeat racing by each second that passed. “I’d do anything for you, Y/N.”

‏‏‎

“Hey!” Y/N is practically used to seeing Yang Jungwon come up to her everyday now, the two even spending lunch together every two days.

“What’s up Yang?” She says, noticing a packet of papers in his hand.

“You know your feedback on my initiative? Your personalized mentorship program idea! The headmaster really liked it and he’s implementing it starting next semester with your name as the credit on it!”

Y/N’s eyes widen in joy, shrieking as her hands unconsciously come in contact with Jungwon’s, the two holding both of each other’s hands tightly as they jumped in happiness.

“You’re amazing Yang Jungwon!” She says giddily, “you really are.”

The two of them stop to stare at one another for a brief second before Jungwon finds himself leaning in, closing the gap between their lips.

When they pull away, the smiles on their faces never fades, Jungwon’s dimple ever so prominent.

“I love you,” Y/N breathes out. “My wonderful class president.”

And although Y/N is a feminist, obviously, she wouldn’t mind a man like Yang Jungwon saving her, for he taught her what love was like, and that she should never ever settle for less.

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churipu · 4 months

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𐙚 THREE TIMES NANAMI MADE YOU CRY ⋆ ˚｡

featuring. nanami kento x reader

warning. referral to the reader as 'wife'

note. i just felt so mellow today — because a lot of sad nanami edits have been passing by in my fyp and i'm about to have a mental breakdown because of it, when i catch gege >:( a lil note, i cried writing this bcs i miss nanami so much help

✴ ONE : WHEN HE PROPOSED TO YOU

it took him a short time to realize that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you — he sees you cooking breakfast at the crack of dawn just for him before he goes to work, and he realizes that, yes, you were the one for him.

"do you want to marry me?"

your head turned to him slowly, eyes following just a few seconds after and you blinked, "i'm sorry, what?" you ask him.

nanami's eyes raised up to meet yours, "do you want to marry me?" he repeats his question calmly.

it was a day like every other — the both of you sitting on the couch, the television on yet nobody's paying attention to it. nanami has his eyes on the magazine in his grasp, and you were on your phone, scrolling through social media.

"yeah, of course i do."

nanami takes out a velvet colored box from his pocket and opens it up, you stared at him in confusion; wondering if this was a joke or not, is he actually proposing to you while you were in your pjs? but that actually didn't bother you — it was the fact he is proposing to you.

"marry me." he murmurs out softly, taking the beautiful ring out of its place, waiting for your acknowledgement.

your tears began flowing out and it took nanami by surprise, "sweetheart, i'm sorry. was it too sudden? you don't have to—" you shook your head at him, wiping your tears away.

"i'm just so . . . happy, ken."

that was the first time he made you cry.

✴ TWO : HIS WEDDING VOWS

your wedding was a simple ceremony. it was filled with fun and laughter, your loved people were there — his loved people were there, gojo and his students were there. it was just, a one fine day, really.

when it comes to the delivering of vows, traditionally; the groom goes first.

"y/n, i'm not good with my words, but you know me better than anyone else, so i assume you know that as well. we met five years ago when i bought a casse-croûte in a bakery you worked in; and if you had told me then that we'd be standing here and i'd be spending the rest of my life with you, maybe i wouldn't believe in you and told you that you were saying nonsense.

first and foremost, i would never thought that a one stop shop in a bakery would lead me to the love of my life — that day, i decided to stop by the bakery you worked in because my usual place was closed for the day, when i think about that, i get so overwhelmed; if my usual shop had opened that very day, maybe you would be standing here with another man, another man who is not me.

y/n, you are the most curious person i have ever met in my life. and i am pretty sure you are asking yourself now, what is kento thinking of right now? the answer is you. i am thinking about you now, later, and forever. from the first day you asked me if i liked casse-croûte, i have not once stopped thinking about you.

i was never a person who sought for relationship or thought of it a lot in the past, but when you came into my life. i began thinking of my future with you, making our own happy family, having kids, traveling the world, all of that. the moment i saw you take your time to wake up before me to cook me breakfast before i go to work, i knew i just had to make you my wife. i want to spend the rest of my life with you.

you love me and completed me in ways i do not know existed, and my love — i promise you, that from here onwards, i will continue to love you and every piece of you and for who you are yet to become. i promise to be your husband, your best friend, your partner in crime as you always like to name it, and your number one supporter, also as you name it.

above all, i promise to show you how lucky i am to have you in my life. i cannot wait to start a new chapter in my life with you, i love you."

it was safe to say that everyone in the room was crying, including you (and gojo, who had to be escorted out by megumi because the male was straight up sobbing loudly).

✴ THREE : WHEN HE DIED

shibuya. october 31, 2018. god, how much you dreaded every single thing that happened in there — just the thought of october coming after that year made your stomach churn in sadness.

the day a lot of people lost their life, including nanami.

nanami is a strong man, and you know so. you believed in him, never did you once stopped believing in your husband; but the whole time nanami was fighting for his and everyone's life in shibuya, you were back at home with your few months old son.

"daddy is going to be okay, yeah? he's gonna be back soon," you cooed to your son despite the rising wariness.

but no, nanami never came back.

the one to break the news was no other than itadori yuuji himself, the sole witness to your husband's passing — he knocked on your door, beaten up, although his wounds were tended to. you knew the shibuya incident scarred the young boy with something that couldn't be closed off now or maybe ever.

"he's not coming back, is he?" you ask the teen with a sad smile.

itadori broke down on your porch that day. and you, nanami's wife was the one comforting him, after all, watching someone you care die in front of you was traumatizing. but itadori blamed himself for nanami's death — he was baffled when you pulled him into a tight hug, "it's my fault y/n-san! i killed him. he's dead because of me."

as much as nanami doesn't display his affection to itadori, you were a witness to how nanami really feels towards the young boy. telling you how he wishes your son would grow up to be just like itadori, bubbly and energetic. nanami cares about itadori like the boy was his own — although failing to show it.

"did he . . . did he say anything before he . . ?"

itadori cried in your embrace, "he . . . said he was sorry. for not coming back. and that he loves you and your son so much . . ." itadori was barely taking breaths in, he was hyperventilating in your arms, "he said he was sorry that he won't be able to accompany you to malaysia."

"okay." you didn't cry as itadori was breaking the news to you, you couldn't.

nanami's death quieted you — you didn't cry the first week, still not believing he was actually gone. finding yourself sitting on the couch, waiting for the male to open the door and to call out for you, "y/n, i'm home."

but it never happened. nanami was really gone. he's really dead.

grief is such an odd feeling, you relied on itadori to look after your son for the first two weeks as you didn't find yourself in the right mind to be capable of taking care of your own flesh and blood. a day before your son was going back into your care — you went grocery shopping, to buy things both nanami and you used to buy.

it was a mistake on your part not to use a basket or a trolley, putting all the stuff on the cashier counter was hard work. and as the baby food you put on top of the pile slipped through your fingers and dropped onto the floor, splattering the contents everywhere, you can't help but to let a few stray tears out.

your silent sobs turning into a full blown breakdown in the middle of a grocery shop as everything began coming in, a reality check.

that nanami was no longer going to be there with you again, you couldn't feel him anymore, you couldn't hear him anymore, you couldn't smell his cologne anymore.

but the world doesn't stop for that, it will keep going and you had to go on with your life without him.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk #jujutsu kaisen angst #jjk angst #nanami kento #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento angst #kento nanami x you #kento nanami #nanami #jujutsu kaisen nanami #kento x reader #i miss him so bad u guys :(#nanamin

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darkenedurge · 6 months

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𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐑𝐮𝐧𝐬 𝐇𝐨𝐭.

A/N : i’ve been wanting to write rolan for so long idk why it took me forever but AGH here we are i <3 tieflings

Rolan's head is reeling. Thoughts, realisations, spinning within the cavern of his skull. Lorroakan, gone. And, he owes thanks yet again to his 'valiant' hero. To which, he raises his head – lips, parting to speak.

Yet, not even a breath escapes him – not before he's barrelling backward into a bookshelf, hands grasping at his robes, and lips upon his own. Her lips. The lips he'd dreamed of for so long, lips he'd yearned for – yet so painfully denied himself.

Her tongue isn't patient, as impatient as she, winding its way into his mouth with a soft noise of satisfaction. In turn, he whines, hands reaching to grapple at any part of her he could blindly reach – clawing at her hips, drawing her nearer.

She rolls her hips into his, arousal coiling within his abdomen, and he has to muster all that he has to break for air – instantaneous in his mourning at the loss of her lips, her taste.

"What are you.. doing..?" Is all he can manage, in a panted breath, a string of saliva still connecting them – his gaze, hazy with desire, as he peers at her through half-lidded eyes.

"Something I should've done a long time ago," She replies, blunt, simple. Her hand brushes a strand of hair back, away from his face, touch uncharacteristically gentle in comparison to what he'd just witnessed – "I really like you, Rolan."

He almost laughs. In fact, no, he does laugh – a small, quiet huff of amusement. "I think we've established that," He quips, snarky as ever, "But for what it's worth, I like you too. A lot."

A brief pause. His eyes dart from corner to corner. Flitting between bloodshed, books and..

Her companions are nowhere to be found. To that, he internally, mentally, breathes a loud, genuine sigh of relief. She notices, a coy smile playing at her lips, her fingers dipping beneath his robes – fingertips cold, against the harshness of his warmth, bumping over the ridges that decorated his skin. Rolan feels a shiver crawl up his spine, eyes fluttering to a momentary close, as a shaking, uneven breath ghosts past his lips.

“So, are we going to finish what we started?” Comes her voice, Gods her voice, once more – the words purred against his ear, her teeth grazing his skin. He’s unable to swallow the whimper that fights its way out, chest notably heaving, “My ears are s– ahh.. sensitive..”

She hums, hand seeking purchase in his underwear, but lingering just above the waistband – awaiting consent. “I assumed as much,” She murmurs, “Elven ears are only the same..”

“So, I’m your first tiefling?” He asks, voice dipping to a low, rasping hum, as he guides her hand to his cock – hips stuttering as her hand began teasing, languid strokes, thumb paying mind to the ridges that adorned his shaft – alongside bitterly teasing the tip with clear intent. He moans. Pitched, and unrestrained.

“First, and last.” Is her reply, brows knitted in concentration as she peers down at her own working hand, wrist expertly twisting, earning further, mewling whines from Rolan’s mouth.

Rolan’s own, fickle, fantasies paled in comparison to the reality that had now so graciously dawned upon him, his thighs tensing with every pump of her fist.

“So sensitive,” She muses, and his hands grapple for the bookshelf behind him, “I wonder if your tail is the same..”

“Don’t–!” Rolan gasps, but his fragile warning is cast upon deaf ears, her spare hand already pinching the tip of his tail between her thumb and forefinger. He yelps, spilling over her hand with trembling of his thighs.

“Oh,” Her tongue swipes over her fingers, before they sink into her mouth, tasting his seed – “Very sensitive.”

The after-shock of Rolan’s orgasm blurs his vision, whirls his head. So much so that he hardly, if at all, processes her movements – the disappearing of his tail, within the caverns of her mouth, slick with saliva. It’s not until her cheeks hollow, and a spasm of pleasure writhes through him, earning a waned whimper from the back of his throat. “Don’t– I can’t, I– too sss–sensitive..”

Rolan tugs, his tail pleading for exit – her jaw falls slack, brows arched in question. He has to catch his breath, and he does so; though, incredibly unsteadily. Meekly.

“I’m sorry,” His hands, without forewarning, toy with her armour – a silent begging for her to be rid of it, bloodshed and all, “I can’t cum again, not unless it’s inside of you.” She blinks, still and unprepared for the first time since the mere moments ago that their encounter started. Her senses, however, are swift in their return – and she peels off piece after piece, revealing every curve; every freckle, every shred of skin that Rolan could only have ever dreamed of touching, tasting.

Rolan’s robes are much less hassle, and to a silent God he offers his thanks for it. Stripped bare in front of one another, silence offers it’s blanket. It’s her, who moves first, fingertips dancing from his shoulders, right down to his knuckles. He notices the faintest of smiles playing at her lips, adoring in its nature. With a swallowed breath, Rolan outlines her waist, her hips, thighs, ass, with his hands.

“You’re warm,” She states, softly. He hums, and with a sharp pull on his behalf – their bodies are pressed flush. Wordlessly, she’s lead backward – thighs hitting the edge of something hard, sharp, earning an expel of air from her mouth. A desk. Lorroakan’s desk.

With a grunt of effort, she was splayed before him – upon the wood of the desk, his tail wound around her leg, spreading her open with gentle encouragement. His fingers press to her lips, and she understands – tongue swirling, wetting them. With a ‘pop!’, the digits are released – sinking impatiently into her pleading, begging cunt. Rolan gasps, her cunt hot, and tight around his fingers, as they slid, in, out, in, out. He curls them, and her head is thrown back. Thumb, paying mind to her neglected bud, circling it.

“So wet,” He murmurs, not toward her in particular – more so, a thought that had accidentally been uttered aloud. Regardless, he doesn’t regret it. No, her reply only makes him wish he’d said more.

“Because it’s you, Rolan.” She whines.

Gods, he couldn’t wait anymore. She groans, at the absence of his fingers, and he shushes her. “So greedy,” He mewls, “Even when you’re about to get exactly what you want.”

The inside of her greets his cock far differently in comparison to that of his fingers. She clenches, near immediately, and blissfully so. His hips are steady at first, cautious. Until they’re not, her hands finding his in an act of desperation, as his hips piston at an impossible pace – her hips rolling in tandem with his harsh, needy thrusts. Lewd sounds encapsulate the room, skin against skin, raw noises ripped equally from both of their throats. It’s heaven, if such a place truly exists.

Delirious, Rolan barely registers, notices, the premature arrival of his orgasm crawling up his spine, strumming his nerves. A guttural, cracked moan is yanked from his mouth, and he spills inside of her – eyes blown wide. “I’m sorry,” His nose, buries in the crook of her neck, “M’sorry.”

He feels the shaking of her head, light and affectionate, against him. “It’s alright,” A kiss, tender as its pressed to his hair, “I wanted you to.. I’m yours now.”

“Mine.” The word, singular, is spoken through a hidden smile.

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldurs gate iii #rolan x tav #bg3 rolan #rolan bg3 #rolan #tav x rolan #bg3 smut #bg3 x reader #rolan x reader #elf tav

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amaranthineghost · 1 month

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BUT I LOVE YOU SO (PLEASE LET ME GO) ( lando norris. )

he loved her, but knew he had to let her go even if it killed him inside. still he left a paper trail back to him.

warnings: heavy angst I suppose

authors note: wrote this with 2 am motivation. it was about time I finally gave you guys some writing after a couple of months of an absence (I sincerely apologize). I was thinking of making this one of the parts of the mini series because it sort of fits what I want to do with it, but i figured since i hadn't put anything out in a while, it'd be its own separate thing <3

part 2 found here

HE LOVED HER with every fiber of his being. every cell in his body lived for her, he told himself. the blood that ran through his veins underneath his tan skin, all the way to his heart that he had so carefully carved to be able to beat for her. she was the center of his life, he thought.

he really thought.

because now, as he sat and watched her through the fingers over his face to hide the incoming tears, he wished he knew what he should've done. because he only knew what to do.

to let her go.

surely, it wasn't easy, it was never going to be. but alas it was inevitable for the lovers to part though at the time, they wished for it to be only shortly. but they were never coming back. they didn't want to believe, but their hearts knew.

it was a long time coming, but nothing could've prepared them for the heartbreak they forced upon themselves. it was like running blindly into the brick wall they had built together.

they didn't ever fight though. that was the one thing they took pride for their relationship, but now they realize it would've been better for petty arguments. because now, they realize they just don't work.

he was social, she was a homebody. he loved the night life, jumping between different clubs across cities he'd drag her to. of course, at the time she didn't mind being pulled into a club every so often, but it wasn't her scene. the media never was.

he knew that. she knew that it was his.

her hands shook with every folded article of clothing, occasionally wiping her nose with the back of her hand as she tried to avoid his figure altogether.

it wasn't like she didn't want him, in fact she needed him. but the relationship was doomed from the start, she knew yet she didn't care because at the time, everything was tunnel-visioned and he was the light at it's end.

her best moments were the ones lived with him, yet also the worst ones too. but she didn't regret it, it shaped them for their future. one where they knew they couldn't be by each other's side.

they knew heartbreak was looming over them, though the possibility of severing their relationship at any given moment didn't dawn on them till blood was pouring out the wound and there was nothing they could do to stop the bleeding.

they wouldn't try to, they knew better than to patch a wound that would never heal. they let it bleed onto the cold floors of their apartment. the one she had to leave.

nothing had happened in the way they had wanted, but when would it ever if everything was always working against them? it was the world versus them and they lost.

they accepted that defeat.

she tried her best to keep her composure as she packed, for whatever thin thread they held onto would snap if she broke down. because they both knew he couldn't leave her if she did, wouldn't let her go.

because she knew he'd give up his career, his dream, in a heartbeat if it had meant he could still hold her at night. he said forever, and he would make it happen.

it sent her over the edge, reliving their relationship as her fingertips creased memories and packed them into a suitcase, each item of clothing holding significance from their relationship. all from the beginning, she'd kept everything, and that wouldn't change.

she broke. she recognized the textures beneath her fingertips before she could look, her favorite dress. her favorite dress that he bought for her for their anniversary. she knew it was over.

as soon as the choked sobs left her lips, the armchair he sat on creaked as he simply stood and walked to console her. his arms wrapped around her shoulders as the warmth of his chest spread across her back, which did nothing but break her heart more.

she pressed her lips against his skin, though not in an intimate manner, but to hide her struggled cries as the tears down her cheeks began to stain his skin with mascara. she gripped his forearm and bicep tightly, leaning her head further against him.

" 'm sorry," she mumbled against his skin, sniffling as she struggled to catch a breath between sobs. she clenched her eyes shut, seeing dizzying shapes underneath her eyelids. she hoped it would stop the tears.

"shh," he shushed as his lips kissed her hair, muffling his words, "i should be sorry."

still he spoke ever so softly to her as the day they'd met and she couldn't help but fold for his tone of voice every time. even when she knew she shouldn't.

" you have nothing to be sorry for, lan..."

"i should've know the media would be too much for you, love." he mumbled against her hair, "i have everything to be sorry for."

"but i handled it." she peeled his arm from her skin, the streaks of black mascara almost making her lips twitch into a smile as it brought back memories. memories of crying-laughing and smearing mascara onto his arms. still, she held his wrist as she turned to face him, yet she didn't step back.

it'd be the last time they would be this close.

but part of him didn't want her to turn around. he loved when her makeup ran down her face as she cried tears of joy, with the bright sun shining down on her, acting as her personal spotlight, because she was the center of attention, with the wind blowing her hair.

he wished he could see her like that one more time before they left for good. because now he stood, resisting the urge to wipe the tears off her face. because now it wasn't happy, it was sullen. he wanted everything to be able to take care of her, to not let her leave. not yet.

he sighed, he had to give in. he always would, he couldn't help himself when he smudged the running mascara off her face, "fuck, that never works, does it?" he muttered in a soft panic as he realized he just made more of a mess.

she chuckled. she loved whenever he lightened the mood, intentionally or not, it was something she could always count on him to do, "every time, lando, every time." she replied through soft chuckles, sighing as she calmed.

he became serious once again as the smile slowly fell from his face and he wiped the black from his fingers, "but really, did you handle it?" he asked lowly, looking down at her with the same, soft look on his face she could always count on, "i know the media really affected you."

she sighed. there was no denying the exhaustion the media and paparazzi caused. they thought they were fine in the bubble of their apartment, but that bubble had long popped.

"you were born to shine, lando." she simply responded to not give him the truth he was expecting to hear, "that's just not me, we both know it."

"i know." he whispered, biting his lip and looking at her with a gloomy expression. he felt regret and guilt, " 'm sorry."

she shook her head, raising her hand to his jaw to trace the bone under his skin, “i know, but we're both at fault here. we should've known it wouldn't've worked out."

it hurt for them to hear, but it needed to be said, and he would've never said it. it was the truth.

she sniffled, backing away with the realization of how close they had become as she wiped away stray tears and turned back to the half-packed suitcase on the bed they once shared.

he watched her face as her eyes scanned the still heaps of clothing left for her to take, and boxes needing to be filled, "do you want some help?" he offered, his hand grabbing the back of her arm, caressing the skin as she jumped slightly at the contact.

she sighed and said through an awkward chuckle, "please," she reached again for clothes to resume her packing, " 'm afraid i'll change my mind if i stay too much longer."

her words hurt, like daggers slicing through his skin. another wound they couldn't heal.

"would it be that bad?"

his response hurt more. she hadn't meant it like that, but words were subjective. it was like he had taken the knife from beneath his flesh and twisted back into hers.

"no, lan, i didn't mean it like that-" she dropped the shirt she held to place a hand on his bicep, which he shrugged off.

" 'ts fine," he spoke without a tone in his voice, which was odd for him. His focus was on her clothes in his hands and somewhat neatly packed away into one of her many suitcases.

"but i just meant-"

"listen, 'ts fine, we aren't together anymore so we don't have to fix things, or try to."

she squirmed under the dagger as it twisted deeper into her flesh. the air was tense, too silent for her liking and his new attitude threw her off.

it made her realize that maybe there was something more to them that didn't work. because surely any two people who loved each other would make it work out.

it didn't make sense though. maybe it never would.

after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence between them where the only sound was folding of cloth and zipping up certain spots in her suitcase, he turned his back and left the room.

she watched him leave from the corner of her eye, but she didn't stop him. she wanted to though. she wanted so desperately to grab him by the arm and force him to talk to her, but she wouldn't. he was right. they weren't dating.

besides they couldn't even fix what they had before.

minutes later he reemerged with a hand stuffed in his hoodie pocket and another behind his back with something he hid from her. she couldn't get a peak before he slipped it into one of the boxes. she shrugged it off as something she had forgotten.

he returned to helping her fold, but this time with his back towards her. it pained her, she didn't want him to turn his back on her, yet in a couple of hours, she would walk through their apartment door, her back turned to him. it was unfair, she knew.

the tears this time were silent as they streamed down her face, but she didn't make a sound. she watched his actions for a solid five minutes, seeing his best attempts folding her clothes, for her. he was never the best at it, as she had poked fun at him for it in the past. it hurt to think she would never see the difference of neatness in her closet anymore.

her attention was piqued when she saw his movement halt, quickly resuming with a messily put-together hoodie, one she didn't recognize to be hers.

she didn't get to look before he flipped back the top and zipped it up to go with the others.

she didn't have time to wipe the fresh tears from her face when he turned around after pulling the suitcase from the bed. he paused, dropping the handle.

in a swift motion, he pulled her into his chest. she couldn't stop herself from breaking down in his arms, his hand wrapped around her head, the other around her back. they stayed silent, apart from her sobs into his shirt. he didn't care if she ended up staining it.

they swayed for a while, longer than they should've, but at least now she had calmed down. though tears still streaming down her face and a headache forming in her head, they pulled apart slightly.

her hair was messy, her nose, cheeks, eyes and lips were red, her eyes were puffy and tears stained her face, but she was still prettier than ever.

he couldn't help but tuck the hair in front of her face behind her ear, his hand resting on her jaw.

for the last time, they kissed.

to him, it was like he was taking his last breath of air, or gulp of water for the rest of his life. he was taking what he could.

the taste of her salty tears, the wetness from her cheeks now on his, the hands in her messy hair pushing her desperately closer because he didn't want to let her go.

they sighed when they parted, his teeth grazing her bottom lip at a desperate attempt for more. more time.

they both stepped back, staying silent once again. they didn't have anything to say because their actions said it all. he stepped back to the suitcase he dropped and started moving them out to her car, which had considerably more trunk space than any of his.

it felt like when she was first moving out for college, with stacks of boxes and plenty of suitcases to make it seem like she was fleeing the country.

it all ended the second she walked out the door, but she didn't have to turn her back on him as he walked her to her car, opening the door.

one last hug between them. the last contact.

but they still followed each other's lives.

she would watch his races from the comfort of her new living room couch because she still worried about him the same amount from when they were dating. she noticed his suffering performance, though she sighed every time he crossed the finish line unscathed.

part of him knew she was watching for him.

he still followed her private accounts, liking the posts of the lifestyle that he could never live. it just wasn't his to experience, just like his was never hers to live either. most nights spent drunk in the dj booth, or out to dinner with other drivers, the social life had never been her scene.

he knew.

he knew all along that it was never going to end as they wished in the moment. they stared at their future without fully knowing what was waiting, yet they didn't step down.

months had passed. their lives were supposed to have gotten better, but they could both see they were both suffering.

boxes still unpacked from when she first left, she had never gotten around to fully moving in. still suitcases and cardboard boxes laid around the kitchen of her new apartment.

she felt like she should open them, like she needed to. if not now, would she ever?

boxes full of old memories from her childhood, or stuffed animals she had always convinced lando to buy for her. until there was one box left untouched. she hadn't remembered packing this one.

carefully, she sliced the tape and pulled back the cardboard. she was speechless.

his race helmet. his race helmet he dedicated to her.

dedicated for the anniversary of the day they met. for the race of the country where their eyes first found each other.

it had details about her. her favorite colors, places, things. it had her name, big enough to see from a while away.

he loved this helmet. and he gave it to her.

all she could do now was hug the last remainder of him and cry. she wasn't sure if letting him go was the right or wrong decision, but it felt wrong to question it now.

when she pulled away from the helmet and sniffling her nose, she noticed a piece of paper lodged into the visor. carefully, she pulled it out, unfolding it to see the familiar and horrible handwriting of lando norris.

she was lucky she learned to read it over the years or she would've been screwed.

blue suitcase. for when you're ready.

out of all of the suitcases she had taken, only one was blue. the one he had packed.

she hastily picked herself off the floor, carefully setting the helmet down on the kitchen counter before dropping back down on her knees and desperately unzipped it.

she tossed through every pocket and article of clothing packed into the suitcase, inspecting every single item. until she found it.

of course, he had given her one of his hoodies, but it was not just any of his hoodies. once again, a favorite of his he wore regularly. he gave it to her. it smelled like him still. curse him for spraying cologne on it.

she felt the fabric beneath her fingertips before slipping it on. a smile crept onto her lips as she went and sat back down on her couch, the TV had been playing FP3 in the background before quali in a couple hours time.

she pulled her blanket back over her, slipping her hands into the pockets. her brows furrowed when she felt yet another piece of paper, pulling it out to reveal even more horrendous handwriting from her beloved racer.

will let me know you're watching?

any day now love.

when the nights get lonely, i'll be waiting.

whenever you're ready.

i miss you, i'm sorry

ynusername

liked by landonorris and 4037 others

ynusername I don't know if i'm ready for this...

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proofread by @foreveralbon <333

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agoofyannoyancetolaw · 3 months

Text

Command

a/n: I wrote this out of pure spite and the fact that I got another cold and realized I hadn’t posted in forever 😭 this is an utter blurb and I’m seriously writing this after my sixth sick nap of the day. Literally no idea what this even is ngl

minors DNI

“Please just tell me what to do- please?..” graves whimpered through the phone without a care in the world if you had speaker on or not, your voice being the only thing keeping him awake other then the blunt feeling of his plastic dildo against his rim

“you know what to do baby, come on- you really miss me that much?” Your static voice humming through the phone followed by his whimpers and whines as he lowered himself down on it inch by inch and accompanied by little huffs of breaths from you as you lazily stroked your aching cock. You could easily imagine what he looked like, down to the little tears dotting his eyelashes and his slack jaw.

this wasn’t the usual late night call for you, but he had practically begged you for you to at least call him so he could have some relief

graves needed to be told what to do! years of work and military and pmc work wearing at his mind.. he needed something to do in his retirement before he went damn insane. Waiting for you to be back from your missions was so boring and he was so pent up for the months you were gone :(

he had waited for a full week for you to be able to call, and when you could it was very late at night, sleep already making his eyes all blurry. Your voice was more static than usual on the call, but it was enough to make him get all hot and bothered.

“feels good, hm? Doesn’t feel the same without me though?” He could hear you mutter with a soft chuckle

“y-yes sir..” graves mumbled back, If you could see his face now he’d be bright red. God your such a tease. “Can I- I-“ graves said, his little whimpers and winces audible through the speaker

“can you what? Use your words?” You remind him. You knew what he was asking for but hearing him stumble over his words so easy from just a simple toy and a phone call was too cute of an offer to pass up.

“can I go faster, please? Please please please I promise I won’t be too loud?” His words were already broken, punctuated by little breaths as he worked himself up and down the toy, still not content! He wanted you- he wanted your hot breath on his neck or your cologne filling his senses. This isn’t fair at all! He could already feel the warm coiling and constricting feeling building up in his mind by the time you gave him permission to go faster

it only took minutes before you could hear his pretty moans from the call, his breath getting heavy and you could practically see his eyes rolling back. You had seen him like that so many times to the point you already new he was close.

“C-an I?” Graves whispered into the mic in between broken whimpers and whines, his gummy walls clenching around the plastic as he patiently waited for you to give him permission- like a dog waiting for its treat.

Before you could even finish replying you could already hear him gasp and moan as he painted the towel below him white. Hanging up and knowing he would be cleaning himself off and waiting around for you to get home again.

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evanpetersmybf · 1 month

Text

All he asked for was you

Tate Langdon x female!reader

Summary: Tate loves you too much. He would do anything for you, to keep you by his side, to make you love him forever. He would cross any line to make you his, it doesn't matter how evil it is... But was it really worth it?

Genre: ANGST!! and some smut

Word count: 5,104

Warnings: Obsessive, stalkish and violent behavior, implicit toxic relationship; mentions of weapons, murder, mental health issues, family issues, school shooting; use of Y/N, swearing, cunnilingus, fingering, unprotected p in v. (i hope i'm not missing any...) NOT PROOFREAD !!

A/N: English isn't my first language!! Sorry if I have some mistakes and if Tate's a bit ooc (i tried to keep him in character as much as i could). I wasn't sure (and still not) if this is good but I spent days writing it, so I had to post it.

A small playlist with songs that inspired me for this: monster by meg and dia, pacify her by melanie martinez, all i want is you by rebzyyx, skyfall by adele, psycho by doko, paparazzi by lady gaga, dark red by steve lacy.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ཐི ♡ ཋྀ

Tate never believed in love, nor was he a romantic one.

In fact, he despised it. How could he even believe in that feeling when he never felt loved by his own mother? At least that’s what he pretended.

The blond always had the facade of a tough guy, although he couldn’t fool anyone. Constance knew well he was a sensitive boy. Probably the most crybaby ever to exist… And the most unstable one.

Now he was here. His chest going up and down, breathing shallow and fast. His eyes were darting around the room, looking for something or perhaps someone. Some silly tears were rolling down his cheeks while he anxiously fidgeted with a ring on his finger. The clock on the wall continued its tick-tack. The time kept running. His heart kept beating. It was getting late.

He refused to look at the wooden floor. He didn’t want to accept reality. If Tate did that, he would feel like the biggest monster on Earth.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t stay like this.

He had to do something real fast.

Today, 18:40

You were supposed to arrive at 19:00.

But he remained there, next to the corpse of his rival. A bloody ax beside the dead man’s bleeding head.

Whom he thought was his worst enemy, was someone really dear to you.

Well, Tate fervently believed this was something justified. He couldn’t stand that fucking asshole anymore! That scumbag needed to be put back in his place. And Tate only did that. Furthermore, he actually helped him. He took him away from this shitty world. It was a favor.

He had already killed his mother’s boyfriend, so why was he feeling guilty?

Maybe because his victim was special to you. Because his death would hurt you. And Langdon swore to God he would never let anybody or anything hurt you, including himself.

He loved you.

He wanted to be the one to hold your hand forever.

Tate snapped back to the present and frowned. He picked up the weapon, putting it in his backpack. He didn’t even mind cleaning it. Then, he proceeded to knelt right next to the lifeless dude and cleaned the blood surrounding his body; afterwards, he dragged him to the basement and…

19:00

A knock on the door.

You arrived.

“DAMN IT!”

He left his dead foe lying limp on the cold basement ground and quickly ran upstairs, straight to his room. He also left the backpack there.

Tate spent the last twenty minutes cleaning the mess he made in the living room after he atrociously smashed your friend’s head, forgetting that had poor time to get ready.

He desperately looked for clean clothes, scrambling the entire closet in search of fresh garments while he cussed at himself, at his mother, at that freaking boy, at the entire world but you.

Finally he found some jeans and a striped shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror after changing and cleaned the tiny drops of blood that stayed on his face and hands. He never realized he left the bloody clothing on the bed.

Another knock.

19:07

Tate opened the door, immediately throwing himself at you and giving you one of the warmest hugs. His demeanor with you was completely different; you were the only creature capable of changing his fucked up mind into something more beautiful, more peaceful. The issue was that it only happened when he was with you, otherwise he would be aggressive and rude as usual.

You got the best of him.

“Missed you so fuckin’ much, babe…” Voice muffled since his face was buried in the crook of your neck. Tate always did the same thing; clinging onto you like a small koala would.

“Heh, me too, hun!” You spoke with the same soothing voice he adored. Tate giggled and placed a tender kiss on your jawline, then another, and another, and another.

Soon enough, he was peppering kisses all over your neck, making you moan softly. Oh those sounds. He could hear you melting under his touch, his embrace, for the rest of eternity.

He loved making you squirm, making you laugh, making you feel loved.

He was way too sweet.

Only if you knew.

Four weeks before today…

Tate has always had the bad habit of stalking you. Yeah… He wasn’t proud of it. But can you blame him? He’s constantly afraid of you leaving him. He wanted to make sure you never did so… Otherwise he would die. Literally.

Don’t ask how he would die. You already know the answer.

You two were supposed to have a date, albeit you had to cancel your meeting.

And that, of course, made him overthink. It didn’t matter how many times you told him you were going to study; he felt betrayed, as if you were rejecting him. And Tate hated and feared rejection to the bone.

“Pretty please? Please, Y/N! I don’t wanna go home early, mom’s gonna be there and-and–”

“Tate, I can’t skip this. I have like, a test every day next week and I must study. I don’t wanna fail. Please, sweetie. I promise I’ll make it up to ya’, mhm?”

He rolled his eyes and whined, almost throwing a tantrum. He didn’t try to manipulate you on purpose. It came out naturally. “But I need you, Y/N! Why do you always do the same, huh? Am I not that important? Don’t you love me any longer?”

His childish crying continued for a couple of minutes, until it stopped and the blond agreed a deal with you.

You thought he was calm now, but no. How naive.

You went to the library to study as you said… Without noticing he followed you.

Quietly, he got into that maze of books after you and hid behind some shelves.

Tate noticed you sat on an empty table. Thank God. Oh?

Who. Is. He.

A man Tate didn’t know sat next to you. Really close. Too close for Tate’s liking. He tried to think he was a stranger, that he wasn’t going to talk to you… He was wrong.

He clenched his hands into a ball when he saw that idiot talking to you, and the worst part was that you followed suit. It seemed you two were friends or something.

How DARE YOU talk to another man? No, how dare you talk to another HUMAN BEING!?

Tate was insecure 24/7.

If you weren’t there, Tate was falling apart. It was simple.

No Y/N, no happy Tate. Was it too hard to understand?

Three weeks before today…

It was Friday. Tate was impatiently waiting for you outside the campus, hanging a small bouquet of flowers he picked up.

Once he spotted you coming out from the building, he waved his hand and embraced you tightly once you were in front of him. He gave you the adorable present.

“Tate!”

“How did you do? Did you pass your tests? Don’t tell me, I’m sure you did.” Said, grinning from ear to ear. He was away from you for an entire week. How did he survive? He didn’t know, but he was glad to have you with him again. “Tell me about your life in the last days, baby. Please? I feel like I haven’t seen you in years!”

There he was, the one and only drama queen Tate Langdon.

You talked about the tests, about how the teachers were being a pain in the ass (which clearly triggered in him the intense desire of hurting them because they stressed you), and… About a guy. The same guy from the library, with whom you spent the entire last week studying. He couldn’t stand it. He saw him as a threat to your relationship, especially since he was an old friend that you met many years ago.

As the days went by, you gave him more reasons to hate that jerk. Why? Well of course because you spent hours at the library doing homework or studying with him. Or even hanging out with him and other people.

In reality, you went out with him to a museum just once, and then skating with other colleagues. Nothing compared to the time you spent with Tate; in a week, you would hang out with him almost daily, and if you were way too busy, he would go to your place and spend the night there. He was so attached to you to the point he had to see you at least once a day. And that’s why he was so jealous of your friend. Tate couldn’t stand the idea of you sharing your life with someone else who wasn’t him or your family… And he also got jealous of them, but he was handling it.

Two weeks before today.

After Tate’s pleas, you decided to introduce your friend to him.

Probably a big mistake.

The date was really awkward; your friend tried being nice, and Tate acted surprisingly kind. Of course it was odd; usually, he despised all of your friends and treated them badly, yet this time was different. You were stunned, however, you tried to ignore it and instead got happy as he finally accepted a random person as your buddy.

Still and all, he hated that moron. It didn’t matter how much he tried liking your pal, he was jealous of him. He was getting on his nerves. He denied the fact that you had more love for other people that wasn’t him. Tate desired being your only one. Your number one. Your entire world. Because that’s what you were for him. And he was willing to do whatever to keep you with him.

Tate exchanged numbers with him and meticulously plotted a plan to ascertain he would never talk to you ever again. At first, it came out as a simple “I’m gonna scare the shit outta him”, nonetheless, it turned into a darker idea, very likely involving physical violence.

One week before today…

The last few days, Tate won Peter’s trust. Ah yes. That’s your friend's name. You were glad that he finally opened his warm heart and began to meet more people besides you.

You thought he needed a friend, an empathetic person who could support the blond when you weren’t available, that way he would feel less lonely and depressed.

They went to the cinema, to the arcade, even to a music store. Everything was going according to what he planned.

Eventually, he invited Peter to his place to play chess and other board games on a Sunday afternoon, before you arrived and had a date with Tate due to your anniversary.

Today, 16:00

Peter and Tate were eating pizza and having a great noon, talking about their lives and random stuff, like school and music. They both enjoyed Nirvana, and since Peter played the guitar, he agreed on teaching your boy how to.

If it weren’t for Tate’s twisted mind, they would’ve been best friends.

The guitarist wasn’t a bad guy. He was a great buddy that really appreciated you and the crybaby, but Langdon had something else in mind.

18:00

The men watched a movie. Tate didn’t even know its name; in fact, he didn’t even pay attention to it. Instead, he was focused on his next actions, plotting them carefully.

“Crap, mom’s gonna arrive soon…” Tate mumbled with annoyance, biting his nails and tapping his foot on the floor. He was lying. You were going to arrive, not Constance.

“Damn, bro. Well, I don’t have a problem. I wanna meet her.”

“Huh? No no no, you shouldn’t. That bitch is crazy.”

Peter scoffed, disagreeing with Tate’s rude manner to call his own momma.

“Hey, you shouldn’t talk like that. I bet she loves you!”

That pissed him off. “You don’t know anything, Peter. Your family is different. Your life’s different. You won’t understand!” He yelled, standing up from the couch and now pacing around the room, trying to keep it calm.

“Dude, calm down!

“NO! I fucking won’t!”

The screaming continued for a while. Tate revealed his unstable and crystal self. Even something so insignificant could drive him to the edge, like what happened today. That definitely surprised the other one, who used to think that Tate was a sweet boy. “I dunno why Y/N is dating you.”

“What did you say?” Tate abruptly stopped pacing.

“Y/N. Y/N doesn’t deserve you.”

“WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT!?” He pounced on Peter, gripping his neck with one rough hand, applying enough pressure on the sides to stop the blood circulation in his carotids and make him lose consciousness.

Before passing out, Peter, getting pale, managed to croak out: “Because she deserves better…”

Soon enough, he fainted, giving Tate minutes to think about what else to do.

Your boyfriend wasn’t planning on murdering Peter today. No, he didn’t have time. He also was supposed to meet you.. But this was the perfect excuse! And not only that; he indirectly admitted he was in love with you! Or that’s what Tate interpreted with his delusional point of view.

Peter didn’t feel anything romantic for you, he was just worried Tate might be too unhinged to be your partner.

Thus, he went to his room and grabbed his backpack. Then, went to the garden shed and picked up the ax that belonged to his father, and a bottle of lye.

He had to get the job done quickly, nevertheless, he lost track of time.

18:30

Tate came back to the living room, just to notice that Peter wasn’t there anymore.

“FUCK IT!” Langdon got nervous. What if he escaped? What if he told you that Tate was crazy? He couldn’t allow this, not at all.

Thankfully, or maybe not, Tate found Peter crawling towards the front door, the poor dude still feeling dizzy after being choked.

Tate didn’t have any mercy.

“Where do you think you’re going, lil’ piece of shit!?”

18:38

Tate finally did it. He brutally murdered Peter, smashing his head several times with the ax.

He got rid of that little issue. He took him to somewhere clean.

Once he assured the other man wasn’t breathing, he dropped the weapon on the floor, making a loud metallic thud.

19:10

Tate was pinning you down on the couch, the same couch where your dead friend was sitting just an hour ago.

His hands were traveling all along your body, tracing sweet patterns on your skin.

Eventually, his fingers were clumsily pulling down your panties, not minding to take off your skirt. “Did you bring this for easy access, baby?” Tate chuckled and buried his face between your legs, holding your thighs in place; his lips plastered messy kisses over the warm flesh, biting it and leaving tiny marks after sucking.

Your reaction was alluring to him; he enjoyed listening to your pleas, to your whimpers. If it was for him, he would spend the entire day making you cum over and over again.

He finally got rid of your underwear, tossing it aside. Without further ado, the boy spread your folds with his large digits, and continued to lick your throbbing wet cunt.

“So fucking pretty… So wet for me, huh?”

His tongue lapped your small clit two or three times, then, traced a zigzag and circles on the sensitive nub. While he devoured you, he inserted his middle and ring finger, pumping them in and out of your cute hole, curling them and hitting the right spot to make you feel butterflies.

Tate could feel his arousal growing; his erection being restrained by the tight fabric of his jeans. He was desperate, yeah. But he always put you in the first place, and that included pleasuring you before him.

After a while, he replaced his fingers with his tongue, fucking your pussy with the agile muscle and now rubbing your clit with his thumb, applying pressure that sent electric waves through your body. He stopped using his tongue on you and instead looked at that stunning face of yours. He was delighted with your flushed cheeks, with every single gesture you did, with the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head. He wanted to take a picture of you to remember this moment forever.

His thumb increased the pace, while his free hand lifted up your blouse and tried to undo your bra. He couldn’t. You giggled when he groaned in frustration; he was too horny to think straight and that’s why you helped him to take off the garment.

Tate sighed and after that awkward and funny moment, he kept rubbing your bud, using your own juices and his saliva as a lubricant, intensifying the sensation. His left pinched and pulled your nipple, making you gasp and twitch beneath him, whilst his mouth abused your other one, greedily sucking on it.

“Tate, ‘m gonna cum! I-”

Tate cut you off by kissing you harshly; his tongue invading your warm mouth, exploring it and then nibbling your bottom lip until it bleeded. He licked the tiny drops of blood, savoring the metallic taste of it.

Unable to hold on any longer, you reached your orgasm, coming undone while Tate kept caressing your pussy, decreasing the velocity while you finally calmed down.

He left you panting; your heart beating so fast just like his.

You tried to sit up on the couch, breathing deep for more air, but the blond prevented you from going away.

“Where do you think you’re doing? We’re not done yet, you’re gonna cum again!”

Tate carried you bridal style and went upstairs straight to his bedroom. He threw you on the bed.

Without stopping looking at you, he unbuckled his belt and pulled down his jeans along the boxers; his dick already erect and throbbing, the veins thick and the tip leaking precum.

Using the clear liquid as lube, he stroked his shaft for a while, jerking off to the sight of you. He groaned and whimpered, closing his eyes as his hand pumped himself.

One of your hands went to your breasts, massaging them softly as your right went down between your legs, slowly teasing your womanhood and coating your index finger with your arousal, using it to rub your aching bundle of nerves.

Tate’s dark room was now filled with both of your moans; Tate calling your name several times and you begging him to fuck you.

He couldn’t stand this anymore. He NEEDED to be inside you, to feel your warmth enveloping him. “On all fours. Now.” You immediately obeyed, feeling as eager as him.

“Look at me, mhm?” He positioned behind you and rubbed the tip against your wet folds, teasing you for a bit. Afterwards, he slowly entered his cock inside your slit, moving it slowly at first. His thumb went to your clitoris, toying with it just like minutes before. He picked up the pace and fucked you fast and hard; his cockhead brushing your cervix. Grabbing a fistful of your hair, Tate pulled your head towards him, still with the deep thrusting. “Fuck, Y/N! You’re so pretty… So fucking precious, so fucking mine!” Moaned against your ear, voice raspy and agitated.

Panting, you stopped looking at him and instead looked to the bed. Why? Who knows, but you did it. And you saw Tate’s dirty clothes. Dirty with blood. A lot of blood.

You froze. Maybe it was red paint?

“U-uh, Tate?” You muttered, feeling already bewildered by the sight. You tried not to jump into conclusions, although you knew Tate and he has always been… Secretive.. And aggressive, of course.

After your boyfriend heard your shaky whisper, he stopped moving, even if he wanted to keep going. “Hm?”

“What’s this?” Tate sighed and pulled out from you, not understanding what you meant.

“What’s what?”

Without saying anything else to him, you grabbed the shirt and touched the weird stain. It was still fresh. You took your fingers to your mouth to taste it; and the metallic tang was too obvious. “Tate, what the fuck is this!?”

You threw it at him. Freaked out, you stood up and picked up your clothes, putting them on again, all meanwhile Tate connected the dots and realized he was probably going to get caught.

“Wait, Y/N! It’s not what it looks like, I swear, damn it!” He yelled and grabbed your arm, not wanting you to leave like this. He had to save his reputation, he couldn’t let you think bad of him even if you had all the right. Because, why the fuck the fabric was soaked in blood?

“Then what is it, Tate? WHY DOES IT HAVE SO MUCH BLOOD!?”

“CALM DOWN, PLEASE!”

You attempted to get away from his grip, struggling with him until, somehow, you managed to do so. However, you tripped with his dirty shoes and fell, realizing they were also stained with the red liquid. “Tate, what…? Why? What is this?”

“Nothing, I swear!” He didn’t have any excuses. Saying it was paint would’ve been lame. You were too smart and he knew lying wasn’t a good choice.

Feeling overwhelmed with the matter, you went downstairs, walking as fast as you could. Passing through the living room, a very familiar bag caught your eye. It was definitely Peter’s. You decided to grab it and realized it had his phone inside. Something was off.

Tate was standing behind you; fists clenched and heart beating like crazy. He tried to approach you, still thinking about what to do or what to say.

“Tate… What is this doing here? Peter’s here?”

“Huh? Yeah… He— He came earlier and had to go soon, he left this accidentally, yup…” You could see him fidgeting with that ring on his finger, again.

“Bullshit!”

Tate scowled and grabbed your chin, making you look at his dark orbs. “Tell me, Y/N, do you trust me or not, huh? Look me in the eyes and say you don’t!”

The struggle continued for what seemed eternity. You trying to run away from the house and he trying to make you stay. “Please, Y/N, just listen to me!”

“You did something to him, right? I know him, Tate! He would NEVER leave his phone like this! Is this a joke?”

“Why do you care so much about that asshole!? What has he done for you!? Tell me!”

“Oh my, you’re jealous! I knew it! All that crap about being his friend was a lie, right? Tate, you’re being delusional! I can have friends, I can hang out with whoever I want, whether you like it or not!”

Tate pressed your cheeks between his thumb and the rest of his fingers, squeezing the flesh with his veiny, big hand, pressing it tightly enough to leave the mark of his long digits on it.

“You can’t! You’re mine. Only mine. Since the day you were born you were meant to be mine. Not his, not anybody, just me.”

“Tate… We should end this…” You thought this was the best for both. Being in a relationship with him was draining; always being careful to not hurt him, make him jealous or mad. He was such a sensitive boy that always took everything too personally. He felt everything a little too much.

Since the beginning you knew he was unstable and that he had many issues, but you tried to see beyond his sick mind, you tried to understand him despite being so different.

Tate felt so safe with you. You were the only person who understood him, or at least made attempts to.

He felt rejected by the entire society, even by his own mother, until he met you and he had a minimum spark of hope that the world didn’t suck that much.

That’s why he clung to you. That’s why you were his everything. He would lose his mind if you leave him.

He felt like dying when he heard you wanted to finish the relationship.

He couldn’t breathe.

Some tears were now falling to the floor, his eyes puffy and an ugly frown on his face. His mouth twisted as he sobbed loudly, tugging the hem of your shirt while he begged you to stay. He was crying like a newborn, like a baby who had to be apart from his mother for a second.

“No no no no, you can’t do this to me!” He whimpered, his speech cracking as he tried to hold you close whilst you were stepping back. You were slipping through his fingers, you were leaving him.

“Tate, if something happened to Peter, I will never forgive you! Can’t you see you’re hurting me?”

Tate swore he would never hurt you, nor let anyone. But here he was, finally snapping out of it and seeing the cruel truth.

“You’ve been hurting me the whole time, Tate! I tried to understand you, I really did, I tried to help you, to save you from yourself! But it’s impossible. I’m losing myself here with you, I don’t even know who I am anymore! You don’t want help, do you? ‘Cause it doesn’t matter what I do, you’re never satisfied! You suffocate me!”

All those words were like daggers penetrating his skin, touching his nerves and making him die of pain. You were tearing him apart, just the way he was destroying you.

He finally let go of you, feeling a tornado of emotions. Tate felt depressed, mad, resentful, like he was going crazy. Though, he knew he had to leave if that’s what you wanted. He couldn’t bring himself to break another promise.

Thereby, he confessed his crimes to you. He explained he killed his mom’s partner a few days ago, and that now he had killed your friend. Why? He was jealous, he was scared you’d left him. You did it before you discovered the cruel reality, anyways. That’s why he told you. Because he couldn’t lose anything else.

The situation was utterly disgusting. Tate was sick. He murdered an innocent man and then proceeded to fuck you, as it was the maximum test of love, as if his life meant nothing.

You knew he wasn’t what people often considered “normal”. But this was definitely more than just being a “weirdo”. Tate needed psychiatric help… And being arrested, of course.

“You make me wanna puke, Tate! You’re the evil!”

Without hesitating, you left Tate behind, running as fast as you could from that living hell.

You just wanted to cry, curl up into a ball and wake up from this nightmare. You wished it was merely a bad dream.

Tomorrow morning, you’d go to the police, but for now you needed to sleep.

Monday morning, 11:05

You couldn’t sleep all night. You spent hours thinking about everything, about how this looked like a cruel joke to you. Eventually, you fell asleep at 4AM, and didn��t wake up at what seemed almost midday.

An intense sound of police sirens woke you from your slumber. Startled by the loud noise, you rubbed your eyes and went to the window, trying to get a glimpse of what was happening outside.

Police cars and SWAT vans were going in a specific direction… Towards Tate’s street. It couldn’t be, right?

Did his mother find the corpse? Or perhaps something else?

You looked at the clock, realizing it was late and you had to go to class.

08:00

After the most painful night of his life, Tate decided today everything would be over.

He had to cleanse the world… To take people to somewhere else, to some place full of peace away from the piss and the vomit that runs down the streets.

He was doing this not only because of your breakup, but also because of many other reasons. Your split up was the straw that broke the camel and drove him to the edge.

10:40

After shooting the school, Tate left the place, looking unfazed about what he just did. He was unhinged.

He peacefully got into his place, went to his room and stayed there for some minutes.

The blond sat on the edge of the bed, leaving the gun right next to him and stared at nothing. His gaze was empty, but also there were some tears threatening to spill.

His mind was a whirlwind. Some part of him was satisfied, but the other was confused, wondering what was he thinking, what had he done?

What would you think of him now? Were you even there? Did he kill you too and he didn’t even notice?

In the end, he recognized he indeed was the evil you said. Damn it. You were right, again, as ever.

Tate wanted to hear your voice, to comfort him, to hear you saying everything was okay. That he’d be okay. He desired to hear “I love you” from you once more.

11:15

You went downstairs to find your family apparently mourning you.

They thought you were at school when the shooting happened. They believed you were gone, but here you were.

Eventually, they explained to you what happened.

The first thing that popped into your mind was Tate’s wellbeing, still unaware that he was the culprit. You were afraid something terrible could’ve happened to him, you were regretting your last words to him, but you also had to get him prisoner.

Your heart dropped when they explained to you he was the shooter.

No, it couldn’t be possible.

It was possible. After all, he had already killed two men.

Even if you despise what he did, some part of you still longed for him, still was in love with his once kind heart.

A terrifying feeling of dread filled your body, making you feel numb, as if none of this was real…

11:25

After running to Tate’s house and seeing it surrounded by the cops and the SWAT team, everything stopped. Constance’s distressed cries and pleas were heard from outside, followed suit by the sound of bullets. It was over now.

Tate was certainly a troubled individual who dedicated his entire life to searching for something, to feel something, to feel loved.

All he asked for was love, to be loved, to love. All he wanted was you.

But at the same time, your love led him to an never-ending obsession that ultimately broke both of you.

He became your biggest regret.

All he feared, all his nightmares came true. Everything he was so afraid of was him and only himself.

249 notes · View notes

creedslove · 5 months

Text

WHO KNEW? 💍💔 - PART TWO

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: even against your wishes, your bond with the Millers straightens and a series of events causes you and Joel to get closer, enough to spike the fear of falling again for him

• This is the second part of Who Knew? 💍💔 Which was also inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, mentions of divorce, mentions of infidelity, fluff, age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want), house breaking, protective Joel, sexual tension

A/N: so besties, I've been obsessed with this idea, and I hope you enjoy it as well! I mean, I've been writing a little more than 1k words a day, there were some parts I thought were good and some were not so good, as a final result, I don't know, I really hope you all enjoy it my lovelies! It's so hard to resist Joel, isn't it?

10.4k words

If someone told you one day, after a decade of being divorced from Joel due to the huge heartbreak he put you through, your bond with the Millers would straighten once more, you would stand up and punch them out. It was so ridiculously absurd to think you would become closer to the man who chewed you up and spat you out and even if he had indeed changed and was a better person, wasn't enough to make you forget what happened. Yes, you had forgiven him, but not forgotten what went on between the two of you, and even if a part of you desperately begged you to stay away and never talk to Joel again, destiny was pretty ironic at its doings and made you and his daughter, Sarah, become friends. You didn't mean to, and you were sure that if it were up to him, he wouldn't have said yes either, but you never knew she was his daughter and he never knew his daughter's friend was… well, you.

After he did some working at your home, he had asked you out, which you actually considered, but then dismissed the idea completely, there was no way you would put yourself through that again, even if he was even more handsome than when he was young, even if he did make your heart race and pound like you were some inexperienced teenager and even if late at night before falling asleep you closed your eyes and replayed in your mind the last kiss you cherished. Even if you focused hard enough and could still feel his warmth, the heavy grip of his hand on your waist, the way his beard that now was sprinkled with grays here and there scratched your skin and how Joel Miller still had the best kiss you'd ever tried. For a moment it had felt so right, even if it was wrong, and a hidden part of you, the part that just maybe didn't despise Joel that much often allowed you to wonder what would actually happen if you had given him a chance to take you out, would it have been really that bad? You would've gone somewhere to drink or grab something to eat, hang out, perhaps even dance and of course you would end up in Joel's bed, hardly any woman would pass up this opportunity. For a moment you wish it could've been that way, but unfortunately, you and Joel were done. After you turned him down you still shared a last kiss and then you both went back to your own lives, the only thing that connected the two of you in the past was the failed marriage you had just as the only thing that connected the two of you in the present was Sarah.

She was the loveliest girl you'd ever met in your life, so smart and sweet, always kind to everyone, responsible and even if you had had problems with her dad, you couldn't help but feel sorry for her and the fact her own mother didn't want to be around; it sounded crazy to you that woman could give up her chance of being the mother of a wonderful little girl like Sarah, even if Joel had killed any kind of desire of getting involved with someone to the point of building up a family. Not to mention Joel himself, he was a handsome, hard-working man, and he had been a good husband before Angela ruined your life. You knew she wasn't the only one to blame, Joel was a real dick, but now you certainly had two reasons to hate her: the fact she ruined your marriage and that she abandoned her daughter.

After Joel took over the renovations in your home, Sarah continued coming over and even if you felt sort of guilty from keeping the truth from her, you also knew it wasn't your place to tell her, if anything, you and Joel needed to do it together. You couldn't ruin the perfect image she had of her dad, because he was a great father to her and no one could deny that. Overall, you really enjoyed her presence; it wasn't uncommon for her to tag along during lunch time or spend the afternoon reading on your couch. Sometimes you wondered if she didn't have enough friends to hang out with, after all, Joel was busy throughout the day and any teen would take the opportunity of freedom to do whatever shit they wanted with them without having to give their parents the time of the day, but that didn't make any sense, not with Sarah being a sociable girl like she was, so when the realization that she sort of envisioned you as a motherly figure at some level, you felt quite shocked. If life hadn't pulled some unfunny tricks along your way, she could've easily been yours and Joel's daughter. You tried to shake it off and pretend she didn't see you that way, but looking back at your interactions it was undeniable; Sarah opened up to you about things she certainly didn't with Joel, from the pain of periods, to problems with girl friends and boys. It was amusing until Sarah began questioning you about it, asking you about your love life, past relationships and why you were single. You felt bad about not telling her the whole truth, but it was a complicated situation. Especially when she came up with the idea she really considered it to be genius

"Why don't you date my dad?!"

She asked you one lazy afternoon, making you choke softly at the water you were drinking, looking at her shocked and speechless for a while, her sweet smile was impossible to make you get mad at her, and above all it was a genuine question, she wasn't just messing with you.

"What?! My dad looks good, he works hard and he would make you very happy!" She cheered innocently, which caused your heart to sink.

"No… I wouldn't date your dad, he's incompatible… I mean, we are incompatible, I'm sure we wouldn't get along"

"Why?! Is it because you have more money than us? Dad does say you are way out of his league"

And you were shocked and speechless once more. Joel had talked about you to Sarah? And he had told her you were out of his league? This information should have made you scoff and roll your eyes, and not make your cheeks heat up while you blushed.

"No Sarah, Jesus no! It's got nothing to do with money or anything… I mean, your dad works hard and he should earn more than he does, because he is very dedicated and well, an honest working man like Joel can be worth a lot more than a rich guy, trust me" you sighed as she stared at you intently "but the thing is… I've been married once, I was too young, it was disastrous, it didn't work obviously, I got hurt and well… your dad sort of reminds me of him, my ex-husband I mean… It's hard to explain, but no, I wouldn't date your father"

You hated that you lied to her, well, half lies at least, but you wished you could be honest, Sarah was an important part of your life and it would be a lot easier if you three would come clean about everything that happened; on the other hand, you couldn't even imagine the mess you would make in her poor little head, as it was pretty messy and fucked up for you as well whenever you stopped to think you were friends with your ex-husband's daughter, the one he had with the woman he cheated on you with and that simply walked out and abandoned him. It even sounded made up, so you offered her just the piece of information you could. Sarah reached out to you, taking your hand in hers and caressing your knuckles, she gave you a sympathetic look and nodded

"I'm so sorry… I can't even imagine how you must feel, he didn't deserve you anyway, you can be sure you are way better than him, and well, I am just glad dad isn't like that, he's a nice guy, he would never do such a thing to anyone. I just feel like he deserved more too, you know? That woman… my mom, even if she shouldn't be called that, just broke his heart and disappeared. Uncle Tommy told me she never really wanted to have me in the first place and if it weren't for dad, you know…" She looked down trying to hide the thick sadness that fogged her face and it was your turn to reach to her, taking her hand, but seeing it wasn't enough as you got up and walked to Sarah, giving her a hug.

"I don't know, I just wish dad would find a nice girl like yourself and then he could be happy, I mean, we all could…"

•••

Joel groaned at how annoying his brother really was, he didn't get why Tommy would always pry into his fucking business instead of handling his own life, Joel was a grown man and he didn't need anyone trying to set him up with women or just inviting him out out of pity. He could take care of himself; he didn't need to meet women or be in a relationship, he was fine the way he was, his life was already way too hectic the way it was, whenever he felt lonely he could just pick up some woman at a bar and get laid and then go back to his everyday routine. And yet both Tommy and Sarah kept on getting on his nerves, always suggesting him to one girl or another or trying to drag him on double dates. When Sarah had casually told him to ask you out, completely oblivious to the fact he had already done it and you shut him out, Joel was at a loss of words, he tried playing cool but he couldn't deny the mess his feelings had become. He wasn't sure how to suppress them, not after that one kiss. That must've meant something, you wouldn't just give him a speech of how uninterested you were and how you two would never work out again and then kiss him like that, you probably still had feelings for him, if not feelings, at least desire, and as much as he would love to act on it, he didn't want to force things up, to he pushy and make you uncomfortable. He'd hurt you too many times to learn that if you'd asked him to stay away, he should stay away. Not only that, Tommy was completely onboard with everything you had said, to him, the fact Joel was crushing on his ex-wife more than a decade after breaking her heart was a clear sign of madness. He figured Joel still had feelings for you, even if Tommy wasn't one to settle down, he couldn't understand how his brother went from madly in love with his pretty young wife to a terrible husband and finally the asshole who dumped her for another woman. He knew that the passion Joel felt for Angela was strong, but even more than just a burning passion, lay that undying love he'd felt for you, and he was sure it wouldn't simply go away, which didn't necessarily mean that Joel surrendering to that love was a smart move. Quite the opposite, it was probably the dumbest thing Tommy had ever heard in his entire life. How could Joel even keep any hopes of getting with you again?! It hadn't worked, too many people got hurt and all he wanted was that his brother could actually see that, so he simply discouraged Joel from getting anywhere near you, as if it wasn't bad enough Sarah had been dragged accidentally into this story, he didn't want his brother suffering around. So he set his brother up on a date, something that Joel hated with passion but since he was feeling particularly hopeless that night he ended up accepting it.

He was usually very against being set up on blind dates, but Joel had created a depressing ritual of always going out and grabbing a drink whenever he came across the date that would've marked his wedding anniversary with you. Joel often heard men were forgetful and didn't remember important dates, but he had never been like that, always keeping the important dates fresh in his mind was something common, ever since he was a child, especially when they brought him strong emotions, such as the ones he shared with you. He thought it was a little stupid at first, but he found out that it helped him cope with the guilt and the doubts that always clouded up his mind. He would sit at a bar and wonder where you could be, how your life would have been like and if you ever thought of him. It sort of became his thing, but this year, for the first time, he knew the exact answers to his questions, and it was so odd, he decided to take Tommy's suggestions to go out with a friend of his brother's girlfriend, he didn't really care nor paid attention, he just exchanged numbers with her, showered and got dressed after work and headed for the restaurant.

And just as he had predicted, it had been another disastrous date. Not that the girl wasn't pretty, she was, but she was just exhausting; her conversation was tiring, her subjects were boring and overall, she just wasn't you. Joel didn't understand why he was having it so bad for you, he knew he shouldn't, he should forget about it all and focus on something else, but as much as he tried not to think of you, more he thought of you. It was maddening. He couldn't help himself but compare the two of you: you were prettier, smarter, funnier, you dressed and smelled better than that random stranger he saw himself being forced to have dinner with. And he wished with all his heart you could be on that date with him; if only you gave him just one chance to show you he was a better man, he would never hurt you like he did before, give you a chance to redeem himself and make you happy exactly the way you deserved it, he would be the happiest man in the world. Life wasn't gonna make things easier for him, and deep down, he knew he didn't even deserve it in the first place, so he tried once more paying attention to his date, which didn't last very long and the moment he saw the opportunity to leave, he grabbed it like a life preserver in the middle of the ocean and headed to a bar - alone, and only after paying for the check, after all, Joel Miller was still a gentleman.

Your wedding anniversary had always been a tricky date for you; there were years you went completely unaffected by it and years you felt like dying. For the first time, however, you were closer to Joel than you'd always been in the years before, and because of that, you decided you deserved better than just stay home and have some bland dinner by yourself, you would go out and perhaps meet other people… And your plan went really smoothly for a while; you got to a nice bar, dressed nicely, dragging some male attention towards you and even got paid a drink by a handsome stranger who waved from afar. It felt like a promising night, until Joel Miller walked in and looked for a table, and he looked devilish handsome as he did so. You bit your lips feeling the alcohol rushing towards one direction at the same time you censored yourself: no matter how lonely and needy you were feeling nor how handsome he was, you couldn't simply feel the hots for him. As if he'd just read your mind, Joel turned around, his eyes falling right on you, his gaze softened up and you saw him running his tongue through his lips, deciding whether or not to walk towards you.

Of course he did it.

The moment he approached, Joel noticed the sadness in your eyes and he was sure you were the for the exact same reason he was, and it was just another motive to get closer to you; taking the chair next to you, he asked the bartender for a drink and as soon as he had it in hands, he stared at you.

"Happy wedding anniversary, darling" he tilted his glass against yours, as you just nodded and took a long sip.

"Happy wedding anniversary, handsome" you replied in a mockery tone using the old nickname you used for him. Handsome was a word that really described him, your Joel. He had always been a handsome man, but how well time treated him was impressive to say the least. He looked so good, he was bigger, broad and stronger. His dark hair had become a little grayer, just like a few patches all over his beard, and that suited him like a damn velvet glove. The way his shirt hung tight around his shoulders and down his arms, eyes lingering on him for way too long, as a warmth spread through your cheek and Joel chuckled

"Funny how you still blush when I'm around… Exactly like old times" he grinned and took another sip of his drink, which was enough to break you free from the spell you were under.

"What are you doing here? I thought I'd made myself pretty clear, Joel" you sighed and stared down into your glass.

"I'm doing the same as you are, darling… I'm thinking about all the bad decisions I made in life. You have been pretty clear, I ain't going to bother you, but I just missed you… it's so weird to see Sarah getting home everyday so excited over you, talking about how nice and awesome you are and I have to pretend not to know about it"

"Yeah? And you think it's easy for me to spend the whole afternoon listening to her talking about what an amazing dad you are? How you are awesome but very unlucky to have had your heartbroken by her mom?" You raised your eyebrow and chuckled

"She really say that?" Joel's expression showed a slight shock "she said I was an amazing dad?!"

You tilted your head at his surprise and bit your lips, perhaps it was just the drinks you had that softened you up a little, but when you saw it, you placed your hand on his arm and shook your head

"Yeah? Why are you so surprised? You are an amazing dad, Joel… that girl loves you more than anything in the world, she idolizes you, of course, she thinks you work too much and that you could both spend some more time together, but other than that, it's clear you are a great father. I was very surprised when we met again, to see your change, I never really thought you would become a better person, not after what happened, but it's nice to see Sarah changed that" you smiled softly at him, and that just melted Joel's rough heart, he immediately took your hand before you could move it away and caressed your knuckles softly, his gaze still making you pathetically shy, as he pursed his lips and you remembered how good they've always felt on your own and also all over your body.

"You know she also sees you as a mother figure, right?!"

"Yeah, I was reluctant to admit it at first, but she does… I guess she needed that, you know? A woman she could talk to about girl stuff, things she cannot talk to her dad or her uncle Tommy" you smiled "I really like Sarah and I'm very glad you allow us to be friends, I understand it is a really odd situation for you, as it is for me, but I like her a lot… you know, if things had been different, she could've been my daughter… our daughter" you sighed "things could've been different Joel… you know what made so hard for me to forgive you? It's not exactly you falling for Angela, of course, rejection hurts a lot, but sometimes it happens, sometimes you fall for someone you shouldn't have, but what still breaks my heart is that you lied to me, you played with me instead of coming clean. You just kept me around even if you didn't want me anymore, so just you would have a comfortable option in case it didn't work with her, and that was what made me feel worse… it made me feel unworthy, because you could still have been considerate of me and just break things up before it all happened" you shrugged

"Darling, I-" he squeezed your hand tighter but you pulled it away

"I'm not trying to make you upset or anything, all I am saying is that things could have been different between us, they should have been at least, if not staying married, having a child and building a family together, then at least having your honesty…"

"What can I do so you forgive me?" Joel asked, his voice breaking a little as he tried to hide the emotion growing at any minute.

"I've already forgiven you Joel, I already told you that… but I can't forget what happened, it will always haunt me" you sighed "too many things happened and as much as I had loved you, I think I would never be able to trust you"

"Please, I have changed, it kills me to know I've hurt you so much, I wish I could go back in time and undo everything that I did.. please, darling" Joel begged you with those brown soft eyes, his hand cupping your cheek in a warm caress and even if you closed your eyes and leaned into his touch for a while, you knew you couldn't let yourself fall into his touch, because if you did, there would be no turning back.

"If Angela returned today, Joel… imagine if she came back and tried claiming you and Sarah, would you still care about me? Because I don't see this happening, Joel. Honestly, what I think is that you want me because you feel bad about what happened and because you couldn't have who you really wanted…"

His expression was indecipherable and for a second you thought he would say something, but all he did was pull you closer, gluing your lips together in an urgent kiss, you could've fought it, but you didn't; instead, you kissed him back, taking your hands into his curls and tugging at them more and more each time Joel pulled you even closer.

Only when the two of you broke the kiss, he looked into your eyes, his thumb stroking your bottom lip gently

"There isn't anyone I want but you, I never stopped loving you, darling… even when Angela was around, she couldn't compare to you" his words shattered your heart, as much as you wanted to believe that, you still couldn't. You grabbed his hand and sighed

"Don't do this again, Joel, please. You've ruined too many things for me already…" you got up and said goodbye "we can't, you know it"

"What have I ruined for you, darling? Tell me and I'll fix it, please"

You chuckled sad and shrugged

"Joel, you even ruined Queen for me'

You walked away from him, leaving him there with his drink and his thoughts, a puzzled look out of confusion in his face trying to figure out exactly what the hell you meant by that. Just as he saw you disappear out of the door, he realized what meant as he paid attention to the lyrics of the song playing in background:

"Love of my life, you hurt me

You've broken my heart

And now you leave me

Love of my life, can't you see (...)"

And even if Joel wanted to be rational and convince himself he'd lost you for good, his heart still insisted on wanting what he couldn't have.

•••

Your car parked in Joel's driveway was the last thing he expected to see that night, after working excruciatingly and failing his promise of getting home earlier to have dinner with his daughter. He knew Sarah was probably waiting, disappointed but also used to it, full of having some sandwich or any other snack she could find. He cursed himself for getting so caught up at work, he didn't mean to, but he had done it again, after all, he had to attend an important meeting with a possible new client and then he would need to wait for the arrival of a bunch of materials that had been delayed for weeks, and even if he knew his daughter was safe with you, he still felt upset to have not given her the attention she needed. However, you had never been to his house before, that was something that you established from the very beginning and when he kissed you at the bar a couple of weeks ago, Joel was certain that was the end of seeing you, occasionally or not. He was sure you'd never shut Sarah out, you liked her for real, and she reciprocated the feelings; besides, you were a decent enough human being who knew you didn't have to mix things up. So, the fact you were indeed at his home, was concerning to him, who parked and immediately left, getting inside wanting to see what was going on. The moment the door opened in one hard swing, you got off the couch and walked to your ex-husband

“Hey Joel” you said, a little shy, suddenly, the fact you were standing in the middle of his home uninvited made you extremely embarrassed, as it felt you were somehow intruding on his intimacy. Since the divorce Joel had moved into a new house, bigger and cozier, a nice backyard with a decent swimming pool was something that drew your attention; you smiled at yourself, knowing how much Joel loved swimming, so it made your heart warm to see he had accomplished something that seemed quite small, but it meant a lot to you.

At first, when you saw the house, you couldn't help but be invaded by a furious jealousy of the possibility Joel had built that house for her, Angela, instead of you. Luckily, Sarah clarified he only started to build it when she was a toddler and that Tommy helped him, and that's why he often crashed there. You chuckled to yourself, that was typical of Tommy, but overall you felt proud of Joel and everything he achieved, you knew he had potential and it was great that he actually worked on it.

“Where's Sarah?!” He asked with worry and called her name once more, louder this time, frowning as you shushed him.

“I'm sorry I'm here, but she had a fever felt sick, I wanted to call you but she asked me not to an-” you were cut off by Joel simply climbing up the stairs and heading straight to Sarah's room, he felt a mix of guilt and worry weighing in his heart at the fact his baby daughter was sick and he couldn't be there for her. He barged into her room, normally, that would be enough to startle her, but instead, he found her peacefully asleep, clung tight to her pillow, dressed in her regular PJs. He touched her forehead wanting to check her temperature, but luckily her skin wasn't warm anymore. He looked at the door and found you there, arms folded and looking like you wanted to say something else, and then he just realized how rude he'd actually been to you by simply walking away and letting you talk to a brick wall. He placed a gentle kiss on his daughter's forehead and closed the door behind him.

“I'm sorry darling, I was worried and you should've called me…”

“It's okay, Joel… as I was saying, I wanted to call you, but Sarah asked me not to, she said you were having an important meeting and you would be home soon, anyway” you licked your lips as you realized he was extremely late and probably feeling so guilty about it all.

“You know, she was at my place and she was feeling a little down, at first I thought she was just upset because she wasn't invited to Melissa's party an-”

“That girl is a bitch” Joel said angrily and in such a defensive way that it was both cute he was so protective of his daughter at the same time it sounded hilarious to see him cursing another teenage girl. However, you had to agree with him, Melissa was indeed a bitch.

“Yeah, I know right?! Anyway, I noticed Sarah was burning up with fever and since she didn't want me to call you, I decided to bring her home and stay with her. So I asked her to take a cool shower, gave her some tylenol and made her some chicken soup with the things I found in your kitchen…” you both went downstairs and stopped in his living room. You tried not paying attention to how good your ex-husband looked after his long hour shift; his sweaty shirt so tight against his broad chest, his messy hair and that stressed attitude that would always melt away with a very intense orgasm.

“You made soup?!” Joel frowned a little shocked and interrupted your drifting thoughts.

“Y-yeah, why? Did I do bad?”

“No” Joel smiled softly and shook his head “not at all, it's just that… I haven't had your food in so long and you've always been a good cook, that's all” the nostalgia he felt was so big and it also warmed your heart, nodding at him “well, I made some more in case you wanted to have dinner too, it's in the kitchen, you can help yourself if you'd like…” you offered him and grabbed your purse “can you call me tomorrow and let me know if Sarah is better?”

Joel grabbed your arm gently and shook his head

“Don't go, not yet… just have dinner with me, talk to me for a while, I promise I won't try to kiss you or anything. Just keep me company, it's rare to have people over, it's usually Sarah and I and usually Tommy, but when they are out, it's just me” he looked at you with a sad expression, and you understood perfectly: loneliness.

Coming back home to an empty bed at night. Not having anyone to rely on, to hold, to give you support and affection, to make love. So you nodded and smiled at him, sitting down with him at the table and grabbed yourself a plate, giggling at how hungry he really was, eating as if he hadn't seen food in months. He raised his eyes at you and stopped chewing, blushing as you wouldn't stop staring.

“You know, you and Sarah have the same sad puppy eyes when you are sick?!” Joel raised his eyebrow at you and you laughed softly “same red teary eyes, sniffing as someone takes care of you, it's actually adorable”

“You think I'm adorable?!”

“Adorable isn't exactly what you are Joel…” you said letting your eyes wandering all over him and having your ex-husband to smirk at you

“Yeah? You think I'm attractive?”

“You know you are attractive, Joel, now shut up and eat” you frowned softly and had dinner with him; it was a pleasant moment, spending some time together, without any talks about the divorce or the past, just two old acquaintances who perhaps had some kind of feelings for each other and shared a meal together. There weren't accusations, apologies or tears, just mundane, regular conversations and laughter. It was nice to have that moment with Joel, as you both progressed in a conversation about your lives and how things had changed over the years, truly catching up instead of arguing. When the subjected revolved around Sarah again, your ex-husband couldn't contain his curiosity anymore:

“You never wanted kids, darling?”

You looked down at your empty plate, a glimmer of sadness crossing your eyes as you shook your head and stared at him

“Not after you, Joel… I used to want a kid, before, when we were together, but not anymore. I feel it's too late for me now, even if I'm still young, it just feels impossible, you know?”

Joel's hand rested on top of yours, he caressed it very gently and looked at you. He sighed knowing exactly what you meant, knowing you actually meant having a baby together and of course he blew it once more. He couldn't even describe the remorse he felt, even if you had spent the past half an hour having a rare moment of bliss tougher, he knew he would never be able to erase what had happened between the two of you. He wished he had a chance to do so, but deep inside, even if he did, he knew the damage had been done.

“It's alright, Joel…” you said shyly and got up as you picked the plates and piled them in the sink, he immediately walked to you,

“Let me handle the dishes, it's the least I can do, you know… after you took care of my daughter and cooked for us. I'm sure Sarah loved it, we aren't used to having homemade food” he chuckled as you nodded

“Yeah, I figured, that's why I decided to make something else…” you said as you walked to the oven and opened it, showing Joel the freshly baked batch of chocolate chips cookies. He widened his eyes like a child and smiled big.

“This is your favorite, I figured it was Sarah's as well” you said sweetly and got the tray out of the oven, although you mumbled something a couple of times, Joel hadn't replied to you, as he kept washing the plates without interruption. You didn't get why he ignored your question, it made no sense; just a few minutes ago you were both having a nice, sweet time together and suddenly he wasn't going to say anything? That was odd. You placed the cookies on the balcony and called him again, to which you got no reply so you just shook his arm a little calling him again.

He turned around and watched you

“What is it?” He asked with a sweet smile, making you even more confused

“I called you a couple of times and you didn't say anything… is everything alright with you?” And at that question his face fell and it was impossible for Joel to hide his sadness. He licked his lips and nodded

“Yeah… it's just that… I'm kinda deaf in my right ear” he blushed and looked down in shame “I had a work accident some years ago and something blew up when I stood too close to it and well…” he shrugged and you felt your heart sink. Your poor Joel, always such a hardworking man, despite everything between you both, you never wanted him to be that injured. It saddened you to see how ashamed he seemed of it, even if he had no reason to be ashamed of it at all, and suddenly it made all sense to you why he was always subtly tilting his head to the left or standing towards that direction when he talked to you.

“I can hear it just fine, got used to it by now, but if you mumble something on my right it's kinda hard to me” the simple and even innocent way he said that made you so sympathetic of him, but it was way more than just that. It made you want to hold him, to assure him it was fine and he was still nothing but perfect no matter what had happened.

“Oh Joel…” you whispered and held his head in both of your hands, gently, your fingers brushing against his thick beard as you got closer and rested your forehead against his “I'm so sorry honey” you whispered again and closed your eyes. He was determined to respect you and not get handsy with you, but the moment he saw you pulling him closer, he couldn't help doing the same; gripping your waist with large hands, just like he used to, exactly where they fit so well, he brought your bodies close together.

“Don't go, please… stay” he whispered back, his lips were almost on yours, everything felt so right at that moment even if it was wrong. You hated how it felt like playing with fire: it seemed beautiful and appealing but you would get burned no matter what.

“I'm sorry, you know I can't” you said, moving your lips just an inch further and connecting with his, earning a hungry kiss.

For someone who desperately wanted to keep away from their ex-husband, you were certainly doing a shitty job. He needed you as much as you needed him, you both wanted each other, but you broke the kiss. It couldn't happen, your relationship was as complicated as it was and you didn't want to deal with that responsibility later. His heavy breathing lingered on your skin, at the same time he placed a soft peck on your neck, knowing all your sweet spots, that devilish man Joel Miller was.

“You know you can call me, right? Anything you need, anything at all, just call me and I'll come running to you, darling, don't forget that” he whispered into your ear and more than a seducing invitation, it was a plea, from a hopelessly man in love who didn't know what to do to prove his worth.

•••

Joel's offer to call him whenever you needed was so tempting, because you didn't actually need to call him, but you wanted to. It made no sense, you were the one who wanted to keep your distance from him, but due to the latest events you found yourself wanting to see Joel each time more, just the thought of his presence brought you an excitement you tried not reading too much into it; you didn't want to admit you were crushing on your ex-husband, but then, how could you call the fact your heart raced when you saw him? How you blushed and felt sparkles whenever you touched him briefly - accidentally or not? It was tricky, it was a mess but it seemed Joel made you lose that filter that always kept you emotionally distant from everyone. After learning Sarah was alright, you felt relieved for her, and when she stopped by your home and thanked you for taking care of her, you felt that familiar warmth in your heart. It seemed the more your rational part fought for you to stay away, that you had been severely hurt by Joel and you couldn't afford giving him a chance to do the same for the second time, but your irrational side? The one driven by your feelings and desires?! That one only made you dive deeper into the Millers household. Your feelings for Sarah just grew, you were attached to her and she was attached to you, she found in you the female influence it lacked for years and she represented something you never had but wished you could. And her dad was something else… ever since that evening you spent together, having dinner, chatting and enjoying each other's company, Joel had told you you could call him anytime for any reason. It didn't matter if you wanted to talk, hang out or have him fix something at your place, he was at your will.

And then you weren't certain if your faucet was really leaking, or if your door was actually warped or if all of that had to do with the fact you were looking for an excuse to call Joel and see him. You didn't want to hire him and you didn't want to discuss feelings, talk about the past or hear all sorts of apologies, you wanted to have a nice, pleasant moment with him, just like you had the last time. It felt so familiar and yet so new; it was about the two of you being acquaintances but at the same time meeting each other, your older, more mature versions finally getting together and hitting off. That was the kind of interaction you wanted from Joel.

You just didn't know exactly how to initiate it, not without giving him any kind of hope or leading him into it.

So you decided to focus on work, like you'd been doing for over a decade. You liked your job, it was stressful as any other job in the world and the money was great. However, you had got so comfortable and used to working from home, the days you were forced to actually go to the office felt excruciating, but it was part of the deal and you had to do it. So you got up, got ready - not without texting Sarah to let her know you wouldn't be home that day - and went to do your business. It was also when you noticed something was wrong. You didn't know the car that was parked across the street, it was a little odd, as you got used to all your neighbors and it was such a calm neighborhood you simply noticed when there was someone from outside. Still, you shrugged and got into your own car, driving to work.

On your way back, all you wanted was a cool shower and some relaxing hours scattered on the couch, but you tensed up a bit when you spotted the same car you did in the morning still there. It had nothing indicating trouble, and yet, you had a gut feeling telling you it simply wasn't right, however, there was nothing you could really do about it. You thought of calling Joel, but you didn't want to risk sounding paranoid and overall crazy. What could you tell him?! That there was a car parked across the street?!

You groaned when you checked your email and saw you would have to attend a meeting at work in person the next day. You were so sure you'd solved everything up, so why would you have to go? It was probably one of those meetings that could be just a work email and it annoyed you to no end, but still, you had no other option other than attending so the next morning you were there, getting ready when you spotted the same car. You had no idea if it had spent the whole night there or if it had gotten there before you woke up, nonetheless, you were taken by the same feeling you did the day before, no matter if they were irrational or not, it was just overwhelming. After another day at work, you returned home and sighed relieved to see the car wasn't there. Maybe it had been just a paranoid episode, perhaps you were just reading too much into things and all the stress from work combined with your situation with Joel made you lose your grip on reality a little bit.

The fact was that after doing your regular house things, you decided to take a relaxing bath and sink yourself into your tub. Selecting the perfect bath bomb and adjusting the temperature, you got inside, groaning at how the warm water made your tense muscles relax and you could feel the knots undoing themselves; as you closed your eyes and relaxed, there was nothing clouding up your mind but Joel.

His handsome face, his smile, his curly graying hair. He was your Joel, but older, mode handsome, if that was even a thing, because Joel was definitely the most handsome man you'd ever met. You couldn't help yourself but picture him wrapping his strong arms around your body, perhaps a relaxing bath with Joel would feel so good, you wouldn't be able to to turn it down. Just to imagine his naked body holding yours was enough to spike so many things all over you. You didn't know if you'd ended up dozing off in the tub, but it was hard to say if any time had passed or not the moment you heard some noises around your house. You couldn't remember if you'd forgotten your TV on or something like that, you were sure you hadn't turned on the radio, but it was enough to feel goosebumps all over your skin. You left the tub, drying yourself as quick as possible and wrapping a bathrobe around your body, exiting the room as silently as you could, hearing whispering and steps all over the lower floor. You went to your room and looked outside the window, your heart racing the moment you spotted the same car you'd seen before. You didn't know what to do, you could feel the suffocating wave of anxiety taking over completely. You could hear their voices, because apparently there was more than one guy. They were robbing your home, but what would happen if they reached you? You immediately locked your bedroom door, so relieved to see your phone was thrown onto the bed. Grabbing it, you dialed the number you'd never forgotten.

•••

“Come on, darling, open up” Joel's voice was the first thing you registered after you made the call, hugged yourself against a corner of your room and closed your eyes. You had heard footsteps climbing the stairs and how the thieves banged on your door, but you remained as quiet as you could. Just praying someone would show up to save you. You'd called Joel and he called the cops on his way over, he had dropped everything he was doing when he heard the raw fear in your voice. It was horrible you had your home broken into, but it made it even worse to think of what two criminals could do with such a beautiful woman like yourself. So he grabbed Tommy and they both rushed towards your place. Arriving there almost at the same time as the cops did, finding your front door busted open and a lot of valuable things such as your TV and your laptop gone. He had a baseball bat in hands, ready to attack whoever threatened your physical integrity and when he got questioning looks from the cop, he cleared his throat and explained he was your ex-husband - and friend.

“Is that really you, Joel?” You asked in a little more than a whisper, so glad to know he was there. You walked to the door and unlocked it, seeing Joel's worried eyes scanning you to make sure you were unharmed. Only then, you realized you hadn't gotten dressed, still wrapped in your bathrobe, but it didn't matter, all you could think of was looking for shelter into his strong, safe arms, sinking your face into his chest at the same time Joel caressed your back up and down, his lips planted a kiss on top of your head and another one on your forehead, wanting to soothe you and show you how safe you were from now on. He was there for you, it wouldn't absolve him from what he'd done in the past, but that didn't even matter to you or Joel, the important thing was that he was there, he came as fast as he could only for you and he would do it a thousand times more if necessary; you both knew that.

“I got you, baby girl, I got you” Joel cooed at you, tightening the hug around your body and keeping you closer. And you had missed that embrace, you just belonged in it, and you never wanted to let go.

Joel held you through the whole process of talking to the cops, informing them about the strange car that was seen around your home and also listing every item they stole: your TV, an iPad, your laptop and your car. Even if you were safe among them, you couldn't help but feel that nervous, anxious feeling at the very possibility of being alone at home once more. Nothing happened in the end, but it could have happened, and though it sucked to have been robbed of so much valuable stuff, you weren't harmed, and that was what mattered the most to you and above all, Joel.

As the cops talked to Joel and assured they'd get in touch if any of it was found, he walked them to the door and turned back to you, finding you all shy and scared, hugging yourself and looking at him with sad eyes. You didn't want to be alone and you didn't want to have to ask him for company, you didn't want to sound whiny or pathetic, especially not after it was just a break-in without any physical damage.

“Come on, pack your bags and I'll take you home with me” Joel's voice broke the silence and made you stare at him surprised “it can be for a few days, but if you aren't comfortable with that, then let me take you at least for the night, I ain't leaving you alone. Sarah's out at her friends in a slumber party or something, you can take her bed, or mine and I'll sleep on the couch, it doesn't matter, just come…” he extended his hand to you, which you gladly took it, and made his way upstairs, waiting patiently as you grabbed a backpack and shoved a few clothes and accessories you would need. You couldn't even describe how you felt at Joel's kindness. You were so comforted, so glad to see you weren't alone and that he was willing to take care and protect you. It didn't take very long to get your backpack ready, wrapping your arms around his neck in another tight hug, thanking him for being so gentle and earning only reassuring and affectionate words.

Once you got to the truck, you were welcomed by a whiff of his familiar scent, it smelled like Joel, your Joel and your heart warmed. He glanced at you while he drove, still seeing the tension all over you and his hand rested on your knee “you must be hungry…”

“I am” you said, a little anxious and watched as he turned the wheel and changed streets. Even before getting to the address, you already knew where Joel was taking you: your favorite Taco place. You chuckled as you remembered that was your favorite date spot when you were painfully young; when life seemed so promising and Joel Miller was the man who made you stutter and sweat through your hands. Whenever he glanced towards you, your cheeks would heat up and you would feel like bursting into flames. And after you both got married, when things were still good, that was the place where he would stop by eventually, pick up some takeout and take home, as a way of spoiling and thanking you for taking care of him. As he parked, he smiled and cleared his throat.

“You know, this is our spot, I never brought any girl here, with the exception of Sarah, of course, but much to my disappointment, she isn't really into tacos, which makes it exclusively our thing” he winked at you and you nodded, a small, petty side of you felt thankful for the confirmation of Angela never been there with Joel. It was just a taco shop and yet, it was still one thing that it was so yours and Joel's and she hadn't ruined it with her touch. You felt even hungrier at that moment, relaxing to know you could have a peaceful dinner with your good memories and the man who somehow still managed to make you blush, stammer a little and sweat through your hands.

As you both munched on the food sitting down in the back of his truck, just like you did every Friday night more than a decade ago, you chuckled at how things change but somehow remain the same. He tilted his head to the side, wiping a little bit of sauce you had over your cheek, exactly like when you both were younger.

“I know this probably tastes like shit, compared to the food you've had over the years when you traveled all over the world, you know Sarah told me all about it because she really admires you an-”

You took his hand and squeezed it, then placed your hand on his chin making him look into your eyes.

“Joel… this is the best taco I've ever had, the most delicious takeout I've ever tried because you are here with me..” she whispered and smiled, seeing how his face lit up. Neither of you said it, but you were finally having that date he asked you out several months ago, when destiny decided to put the two of you together. As he saw you shivering in the cold wind, he did the honorable thing and took off his jacket, placing it over your shoulder and rubbing both of your arms. You thanked him and looked all over his truck

“We spent quite a while in here…” you shrugged “and to think I lost my virginity here… you've always been a real gentleman” you scoffed and rolled your eyes. Joel laughed and sighed

“Yeah, well, I've come along nicely, give me a chance and I'll show you” he winked, flirting a little as you shook your head in disbelief.

“Are you serious?! Fuck off, Joel Miller! No guy will ever fuck me in the back of a truck, and especially not you!” You slapped his arm playfully, hugging it and resting your chin on his shoulder, feeling the wind against your face and looking up at him.

“Joel? Can you do us both a favor?” He nodded at you wanting to hear whatever question you had to ask him “please don't let Sarah marry the first asshole she falls in love with”

“I'm on it” he replied, laughing softly and pulling you closer. Closer than you'd ever been to him, he just wished that night wouldn't end too soon.

•••

Lying in Sarah's bed was odd, to say the least; especially when Joel's room was just there, a hallway distant from you. After the moment - better saying, the moments you both had shared in the past few days and even more so that night, you felt things would escalate to another level, a level in which it didn't matter to you if it was right or wrong, It was just bound to happen. But once you got to his home, he showed you his daughter's room, the bathroom, and asked if you needed anything else and simply let you be. Which was what you wanted, it was what you had asked him to do the last time you'd shared a kiss, but at the same time you felt disappointed because you wanted more of him, more of your Joel. The sweet moments you'd spent together were weighing so heavily in your heart, and even if you hadn't forgotten about what happened, the new proximity brought a new light in your relationship with Joel; it felt nice and different, a good different and as much as you closed your eyes and tried falling asleep, you were simply taken back to the moment he held you, soothed you, caressed your skin and assured you everything was alright. Tossing and turning in bed while you wished you were somewhere else instead, anywhere really, as long as he was just next to you. At first, when the gentle strumming from the guitar got to your ears, you imagined you had dozed off for a few minutes, perhaps you had even started to dream, but when your eyes were wide open and the beautiful, familiar sound wouldn't cease, you knew that only meant one thing: Joel was playing the guitar.

It couldn't come from his bedroom, the sound was too far to be coming from there, so you knew you would have to get up and explore. Suddenly, you felt a wave of excitement. Not only did you love watching Joel play the guitar, but now you had a pretty decent and reasonable excuse to go after him. You didn't want to make things weird and be that kind of person to leave the other confused, with your dubious signs, but you were just following your heart at that moment.

You tiptoed through his house, doing your best to move in the dark, as you didn't want to startle Joel or make him think you wanted the music to stop. And then your heart skipped a beat when you looked through the window and saw him playing the guitar on his porch. The cold wind that bothered you when you both were out eating tacos seemed to have stopped, and just then you realized it was indeed warm inside the house. He was so relaxed, strumming his guitar and humming a song softly, you've always loved his singing voice, even if he was a little shy about it, you could sit down and watch him play and sing for hours. You opened the door quietly and rested against the doorframe, admiring it quietly the way he looked focused at his guitar. He played calmly and it was the most beautiful sight you could ever think of. You wouldn't be able to tell exactly how long you stood there, but when Joel looked up at you, you were already walking towards him.

“That was beautiful, Joel…”

“Just like you are, darlin'”

You both knew exactly what you wanted at that moment, how you took another step closer, one after the other and you suddenly were hovering over him. Joel placed his guitar down, he wasn't going to be able to hold himself back, not at that moment. In one single motion, he pulled you to him by the hips, a tight grasp around your body and kissing you deeply. You straddled Joel, your hands making their familiar way towards his curls, loving how they always felt under your touch. Unlike the other times you'd kissed, you knew you would both go all the way down, you wanted it, craved it and even if you knew what to do and where to touch, it also felt new, you were both were the same young couple who'd been so in love, newly married and full of hopes and dreams, but you were also a couple who'd lived separately for more than a decade, you had both experienced heartbreaks, passions, you'd tried and touched other people, but eventually, just like home, it you were drawn to each other. There was no way out. When you were shamelessly humping and groaning on top of him, Joel knew it was time to take things inside, to hell with his neighbors, he didn't care if any of them witnessed it, if anything, he wanted people to see what a lucky bastard he was to have you in his arms, that he was going to take you and make you his at least once more. So he got up, lifting you up easily, so easily, and took you inside, climbing stairs with you in his arms, he longed for you, he was hungry for your body, your taste, your touch. He needed you and Joel Miller was about to take it all. He placed you over his mattress and got rid of his shirt - his dark blue one, that looked so good on him - and let your hands wander his body. He didn't take long to undress you, nibbling your thighs in the process, he knew your body like the palm of his hand, with the exception the last time he'd visited it, his palm wasn't as calloused as it was now, just as you weren't so painfully hot as you were at that moment. You'd always been gorgeous, but at that moment, naked in his bed, it was the most beautiful and erotic thing he'd ever seen and yet he wanted it to make it forever. As he got inside of you, he didn't know how long it would last, how long you both would last, you were being way nicer and more compassionate than he would ever deserve it, but at the same time, something within said you shared the same feelings for each other.

Once you both reached your bliss, love bites, kissings, caresses and so much affection between you both, you relaxed into his arms, your head resting comfortably in his chest, and you felt at home. You still didn't know what the next day would bring you both. Perhaps you would stay together, or you would part ways for good, there was still so much to be done, to spoken, you would have to handle the fact and the consequences of not using protection with Joel, maybe that was a good reason to worry about , or not, you didn't want to think of it, just as you didn't want to think of how you both could ever explain to Sarah what happened, or how Joel would explain Tommy and you would explain your family how you got together, maybe even one day Angela could return, you'd learned the hard way life wasn't a bed of roses and you feared that if you agreed to be happy with Joel once more you would get hurt, one way or another, but all that wasn't important, not at that moment. All it mattered was you and your Joel in bed, snuggled up and worrying about nothing but each other. He nuzzled your neck, making you giggle and in return you pecked his lips once more. He wanted to say those three little words, but decided not to, not yet, instead, he wanted to show you it, now he'd had a taste of you, and he vowed himself to make you happy for the rest of his life.

He knew he had broken your heart, it was the worst thing Joel Miller had ever done, but he was going to win you back, because he wasn't going to give up happiness with you, not again.

____

A/N: besties, how did I do? Did you like it? I hope you did! I honestly had planned on writing a sad ending, I was going to make reader move on from Joel once for all, but then, is it even possible to get over him? It's impossible not to fall for him and give him a second chance. A third part is possible but I have no idea when, and feedback is always welcome my lovelies ❤️💕

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birdy-bat-writes · 1 year

Text

Coffee for Mrs. Seresin?

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Fem!Reader

Content warnings: Pining, fluff, and uh.... caffeine? Mild swears, Maybe some banter. I have no clue what qualifies as a warning anymore, I'm so sorry, y'all:') Also, sorry for the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors.

A/n: Should I be doing math right now? Should I actually be sleeping right now? Yes and yes, BUT no one can blame me. I was reading an adorable Jake Seresin Fanfic by @roosterbruiser (everyone go read Millie's work, it's gold) and I got an idea and I had to write it somewhere so here:D

You were pretty used to people assuming you and Jake were an item. When an attractive guy and an attractive girl have been friends since college and spend as much time together as you both do, you suppose it's a fair conclusion for people to draw, but an incorrect one, nonetheless. And you really wish people would stop asking because every time you had to explain to someone how you were "just friends," it ate you a little more inside.

The fact of the matter was this: you were in love with your best friend. And it sucked.

You stepped out of your car and strode along the stone walkway amidst the grass up to Rooster's door and rang the bell. It was a cute little townhouse with a blue exterior and you often poked fun at him for how much it resembled a little wooden birdhouse with its colorful walls and white wood-rimmed windows. You suppose it's fitting since Rooster lives there and yes, he hates that gag. It also serves as your group's prime hang-out spot, which is why you're here now.

The door opened to reveal Natasha, wrapped up in an oversized sweatshirt with her hair thrown up in a claw clip. "Yes, you brought chips!"

"Yeah, you didn't really specify which flavor so I just got them all." You said, walking in. "Guests should start coming in an hour, right?"

"Mmm-hmm." The 7 of you were throwing a casual party to celebrate Jake's promotion to Lieutenant-Commander. You saw Nat lift her eyes and smirk. "And there he is, the man of the hour." You turned around to see Jake at the end of the staircase.

"Well, hello, Mr. Man-of-the-hour," you teased, setting down the numerous bags of chips you were holding.

"Glad you're finally here, N/N. I was starting to think you were going to leave me here to fend for myself against Rooster's ABBA medley." Jake wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side. It was always like this. Him giving you butterflies you had to ignore because there was inevitably some other girl.

"Oh please, I would never leave you to fend for yourself against Rooster. I would join him and together, we'd overpower you and make you listen to ABBA forever." You grinned up at him and he narrowed his eyes, lips quirking up at the corners.

"Betrayal never comes from an enemy, I see," he shook his head at you. "I will leave you, lovely ladies, to yourselves. If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen." You watched Jake walk away and disappear around the corner. When you turned back, Natasha was still wearing that smug smile she always did when she saw you two. You knew it was coming.

"Nix, I'm telling you, if you say it, I'm salting your coffee." She knew you were messing with her but one of these days, you might just do it.

"All I'm saying is, shoot your shot! Come on, just once before you go settle for this rando."

"Mark is not a rando. We know him from accounting!"

"Exactly, Y/N, we know him from accounting. You don't even like the guy, heck you hardly know him."

"Exactly. That's why we're going to get to know each other at this party. I need to get over this crush, now. I can't keep pining for a guy who has no interest in me," you saw Natasha's mouth open as if to say something and you quickly jumped in, "And don't say he's interested. He's been with other girls multiple times and never once looked at me like that."

"True, I won't argue there. He's never looked at any of those girls the way he was just looking at you either." She took her hair out of her claw clip and it fell onto her shoulders in soft waves. "And ever since we all got back from that mission 3 months ago, he hasn't been with anyone. I really think he's got a thing for you but you're right. You should give this Mark guy a shot if you think he'd be good for you."

You smiled softly. You met Jake's friends when you were in San Diego a few years back. About a year ago, you were permanently stationed here and luckily for you, Jake was too. He settled here about 4 months before you. All his friends became your friends, and you've truly never known a better group of people. And they'd never known someone who could wrangle Hangman, so you were quite quickly welcomed to the group.

You and Pheonix tossed your sweatshirts upstairs and fixed up the last bits of your outfits just in time for guests to start arriving. You even managed to slip in a game of cards with Fanboy, Bob, and Payback before you joined a crowd in the living room. You barely felt the tap on your shoulder. If it wasn't followed by your name, you surely would have missed it. You turned on your heel to see Mark from accounting, facing you with a hand in his pocket.

"Mark, hi!"

"Hey. How are you?" His voice was almost monotone. His eyes roamed the room rather than meeting yours. He had just gotten here and he already sounded like he wanted to be somewhere else. You could have sworn he sounded more lively when you met.

"I'm good. I thought you weren't coming till later."

"I got off work early."

"Ah, well that's great." This guy really wasn't giving you much to work with. "Can I get you something to drink? There are drinks and food in the kitchen." That actually went somewhere. You headed to the kitchen where the conversation just barely picked up.

In the distance, Jake noticed your prolonged absence. As silly as it was, Jake liked knowing you were near him. You didn't have to be attached at the hip but he liked knowing he could saunter over to you and escape into your laugh when you came up in his mind. Which was a lot.

He scanned the room for you and stopped when he caught your frame in the kitchen...with some guy? Who the hell was that?

"Damn, if looks could kill...," Rooster muttered. "Do you not like that dude or something?"

"I don't even know who he is," Jake said through gritted teeth. "What's his name?"

"No clue. Pheonix?"

As if on cue, Natasha spoke up. "That, my friends, is Mark from accounting." Both the boys looked at her with questioning eyes.

"Okay, but who is he?" Something in Jake's voice was different now. Both of them looked at him.

"Careful there, Bagman, you almost sound jealous. He's some guy Y/N knows and I think she likes him." Phoenix was searching Jake's face for any sign that she was right about his feelings for you, and he never noticed because his eyes were trained on you like a hawk.

"I'm not jealous, Pheonix."

"You kinda sound jealous, Hangman," Rooster added, earning a glare from Jake.

"Okay, when we first met and you told me about her, you sounded so lovesick, I thought she was your wife. Cut to, you introduce us all and it turns out you're not married, or dating, but friends? I'm sorry, I do not believe that you two don't have feelings for each other." Natasha's remark sparked something in Jake. She watched the corners of his mouth twitch into a smirk so small, she almost missed it.

"I'll be right back." Jake stated, already pacing away. Rooster and Pheonix watched Jake make his way into the kitchen.

"She likes him too right?" Rooster asked.

"Oh, absolutely," Pheonix responded.

"You know, Fanboy has a betting pool on them."

"What? Get me on this, I have a feeling we'll make some money tonight."

Jake entered the kitchen to see you sitting alone at the table. "Got room for one more?"

"I don't see why not. Shouldn't you be mingling with everyone out there?"

"Well, the person I want to mingle with is in here." You smiled at him. There it was again, that smile that always left him utterly defenseless. "Who's the guy?"

You don't know why you felt your cheeks heat up when Jake asked about him. "His name's Mark. I met him when I was sorting reports last week."

"Okay. So, why do you sound so upset?"

"Because he said he was going to get us drinks 5 minutes ago and I just saw him leave with Commander Reeves' daughter." Honestly, you weren't upset because he left. You were upset because you were glad he did. He was boring you out of your mind and you two absolutely did not click, but it was still disheartening to know that this is what it was going to be like. No guy was going to measure up to the one you wished you were with. The one who was at this table with you now.

Jake was seething. What kind of idiot comes to a party and leaves you for some other girl? "You wanna get out of here?"

"What?"

"Let's leave. I'm bored."

"It's your party, you dork, you can't just leave!" You were giggling at a feeling somewhere in between confusion and disbelief.

"Yeah, it is my party so I say, you and I get out of here." He took you by the hand and walked you out through the back door to his car. And you let him. The chilly air swept you both up.

The drive was pretty calm. You didn't know where Jake was going but you didn't care either. This reminded you of when you two were younger. The long quiet rides in the car with no one but each other for company. He'd put on some cheesy 80's power ballad and you'd both laugh at it until you'd give in and belt it out at the top of your lungs.

"If you don't mind my asking, what did you see in him?"

"I don't really even remember. I think I just wanted to try and get myself out there. I haven't been on a date in literally years."

Jake hesitated before he asked. "So... what made you want to start now?" You felt the words catch in your throat.

"I'm not sure." you lied. You. I'm in love with you and I can't take it.

You felt the car slow down. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't even see where Jake parked. A cute little coffee shop and patisserie. Jake got out of his car and rounded the front to open the door for you. He already had you head over heels for him and he didn't even know it. Did he have to be such a gentleman? You weren't sure that you could fall even harder for this man but you really didn't want to find out.

"Why don't you get us a table and I'll get us something to drink. Don't worry, I remember what you like." You nodded and found a two-seat table by the french windows overlooking the city. On the left, in the distance, the last light of sunset was hitting the water and the top of the sky had started to go dark. Little stars twinkled above you. You wondered what it would be like to always be like this? Evenings with you and Jake, running off alone together from places and people you didn't really want to see. Taking comfort in each other's presence because it felt like home. Just then, Jake sat down in front of you. It almost hurt knowing he was right in front of you and you couldn't have him.

"Screw stupid Mark from accounting. He was not worth your time."

"Thanks. It's fine really, I'll find someone else. Someone less boring." When you met Jake's eyes, he looked as if he had something to say. Something he was holding back. "What is it?"

"Don't find someone else."

Did he just- Did you hear him right?

"What? Why?"

"Because-"

"I have a coffee and a latte for Mr. and Mrs. Seresin?" The barista called. You actually felt your heart skip a beat. Your eyebrows scrunched together and you looked to Jake for answers.

"Well, I think that's us." He blurted like it answered all your questions, a smile heard in his voice.

"Mr. and Mrs. Seresin?" You queried, rising out of your seat in tandem with him. "Why'd you tell her we were 'Mr. and Mrs. Seresin?!'"

"Because you looked so down and I thought I'd get a reaction from you! And it's not all my fault, Pheonix gave me the idea." Jake stated, matter-of-factly. How could he say that so casually?! "And you're still looking red so I guess it worked."

You both grabbed your coffees and sat down once again. It was dark out now. Once your laughs and giggles over your reaction were out, you remembered where your last conversation left off.

"Jake, why'd you tell me not to find someone?" You didn't force the question too hard into the conversation. You asked softly, not knowing how or if he would answer. He sighed before he spoke like he was preparing himself.

"Because...because I can't ask you out if you're dating someone else." The emotions hit you like a bombshell.

"You want to ask me out?" You weren't sure this was real. You were really about to pinch yourself before he stopped you in your tracks.

"I've been meaning to for months. Y/N, we've been friends forever, and I didn't want to ruin what we have. I know I should have told you before because I've liked you for as long as- Why are you smiling?"

"Because, you big dummy, I like you too." You couldn't hold it back. You were beaming. You felt butterflies and fireworks all at once just because the man of your dreams just made it all a reality. Jake held your eyes in his and smiled ear-to-ear. You swore you saw his ears go red but if you asked him, you doubt he’d admit it. "I'm really happy right now but I have no clue what to do next."

"I've got it from here," Jake reaches out and takes your hand in both of his. It feels like electricity is coursing through your veins. "Y/N L/N, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

It took everything in you not to squeal in this coffee shop. "Yes, I will do you that honor, Bagman." You responded. He chuckled at you.

"Every now and again, I feel like introducing you to Pheonix was a mistake."

"Speaking of which, I really want to tell her about this but she'll get all smug because she was right."

"You're right. As far as people we don't have to tell yet go, Fanboy and Rooster have been betting on us. We can just keep it from them for now too."

"Deal." A laugh bubbled out of you as you thought about how the squad would react. And then a knock sounded directly next to you on the french window.

"Aww, cute," Rooster noted, his voice muffled by the glass, but still clear enough for you to hear his teasing tone.

"Left your own party so soon?" There stood Pheonix. Along with the rest of the squad leaning against Bradley's bronco.

"Shit." you commented.

"So much for keeping it secret."

———————————————————————

Tag list:

@glorified-red

#rooster bradshaw #natasha phoenix trace #hangman drabble #rooster top gun #top gun maverick #top gun #top gun x reader #top gun fanfiction #top gun fluff #jake hangman seresin #jake seresin fluff #jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #fluff #jake hangman x reader

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cosmic-whispers · 1 year

Text

In the Shadows - Azriel x Reader

Summary: When Rhysand forces you and Azriel on a mission in Hewn City, you find yourselves in a pleasure hall with lowered inhibitions and rising tensions.

Warnings: enemies to lovers, mentions of childhood abuse, drug use (mirthroot), SMUT (no minors!!!), threesome (kind of? not really), Eris (lol), public sex in a pleasure hall

Word Count: 8.3k

A/N: This is my favorite thing that I’ve written. It’s quite long and it took me over 3 weeks to write, but what else is new? I take forever, but I write when I can! I hope you enjoy!

“What is this?”

The shopping bag that Rhysand had slid over to you held a small, neatly folded piece of clothing. He had called you into his office, telling you he had something he needed to give you.

“It’s a dress.” The black, mesh garment held in your hand could hardly be called a dress. There was nearly not enough fabric.

“Where’s the rest of it?”

He rolled his violet eyes at you. “Feyre picked it out. She said it was perfect for tomorrow.”

You were confused for a moment. Nothing particularly exciting was happening tomorrow–no birthdays, anniversaries, or celebrations at all.

“What is happening tomorrow?”

He raised an eyebrow at you, a frown hinting at the edges of his mouth. “Your mission in Hewn City…”.

You startled, eyes widening in surprise. This was the first you heard of this mission. And in Hewn City? You hated that damned place. It was always so cold–the chill seeping deep into your bones and it would not leave you for days and you weren’t particular to its inhabitants, either. It would be a mission that you would need time to mentally and emotionally prepare for.

Growing up in Hewn City was traumatizing. It was called the Court of Nightmares–a fitting name for the hellhole that it was. Your parents were high-ranking, always expecting so much from you. You were their biggest disappointment–despite all the emotional and physical abuse you had suffered at their hands, you still ended up being a decent person.

Meeting Mor was your saving grace. You both grew up in similar situations and you found a sisterhood with her, meeting her while she was there with the High Lord. She saw herself in you, she had admitted much later and became your closest friend, the only family you had for a very long time.

Until she decided to change your life and you found yourself in Velaris, your small family of one growing as you became close to the Inner Circle.

The fact that this mission was in Hewn City and no one bothered to warn you made your chest twinge in pain.

“Rhysand, what mission are you talking about? I haven’t heard anything about this.”

“Azriel said he would meet with you and brief you on it. By your reaction, I assume he has not.”

Ice spread through your chest, and you tried to contain the rage building within you. “And when did Azriel say this?”

“Two weeks ago.”

Everything became quite clear at that moment. Azriel. Whatever you did was never good enough for him. Whatever you said was never right enough. You had fallen for him the instant you saw him; he was brooding and handsome and strong, but your crush was quickly smothered and buried deep. The male was distrustful of you since you met him and despite being with your friends for years, he had never bothered to know you. His critical words formed echoes that you heard in your sleep, making you insecure and confused for a very long time. Your pain had turned into anger not long after–you were smart and capable, and you’d proven yourself more than enough times. You did not need his approval or his friendship.

You let out a slow, measured breath, unwilling to lose your composure in front of your High Lord. What you wanted was to scream and stomp your feet in exasperation. Then, throttle the damned Shadowsinger.

“Your little shadow hates me,” you said.

Rhys leaned back in his chair, a smirk growing on his face. “I assure you he does not hate you.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “He does. And I’m going to kill him.”

Rhysand laughed and you stood, glaring at him. “Where is he?”

—-------------*----------------------

You barged into Azriel’s office and slammed the door behind you, the heavy wood slamming against the frame and the thundering thud filled the silence in the room. The large bookshelves in the office were filled to the brim, and the dark curtains covering the windows caused the bright afternoon sun to dim significantly.

The Shadowsinger’s eyes continued to scan the letter in his hand, not a glance or flinch of acknowledgment your way.

The blatant disregard of your presence caused rage to build within you, heat burning the back of your neck and the tip of your pointed ears. “Were you planning on not telling me about this mission at all?”

Finally, his hazel eyes raised to meet yours, the glasses perched on the bridge of his straight nose making your stomach clench. The feeling caught you by surprise, and you pushed it away to a dark crevice in your mind, focusing instead on the pit of anger growing within you like an uncontrollable wildfire.

“You’re not going on a mission,” he said simply and looked back down to the papers in front of him. His features remain impassive and uncaring, causing the aggravation to build further and further, and your fist to clutch tightly around the dark dress you still held in your hands.

You held your arm up, displaying the rumpled fabric in your fist. “Rhsand and Feyre seem to have a different idea. She even picked out my dress for me.”

His eyes traveled to the small, thin fabric in your hands and his gaze darkened. His jaw was tightly clenched and he took a slow, measured breath. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his clear annoyance with you.

“I’m able to handle the mission on my own,” he said, his eyes meeting your own with an unreadable expression. “You’re not needed.”

You actually rolled your eyes at that. Of course, he would come up with whatever excuse he could think of to keep you from tagging along with him. You knew that the Shadowsinger did not trust you and liked you even less, but the realization that he did not even want you there to do your job made your heart hurt.

“As I said, Rhys and Feyre seem to think I need to be there, so that’s a lie. It’s also not a good excuse. If you can't give me a real reason, then you will brief me and I will be going with you.”

He sighed, frustration clear in his eyes as he glared up at you.

He stayed silent, probably trying to taunt you. Well…two can play that game.

“I’m waiting.”

His hands curled into a death grip at the top of his desk, the letter still within his grasp crumbling and he slammed it down on top of the mahogany wood, standing quickly. His massive frame filled the room, his wings expanding and ruffling slightly in anger. A flash of fear spiked in your chest, but you held your ground, tilting your head back to glare back at him–challenging him.

“Fine,” he said, leaning down to be face-to-face with you. His eyes darkened, the black of his pupils the only thing visible beside the small ring of hazel surrounding it. The scent of cedar and icy mist filled your senses, and for a moment, you found yourself speechless at the male in front of you. Despite his disdain, it was hard to admit that you didn’t feel a draw toward the spymaster even still. He was the most beautiful male you had ever seen. And while that thought still rang true, his frigidity toward you made uncertainty and pain fill your heart, walls building to form a suit of armor around it. You would not allow him to best you.

“I don’t want you to go,” he snarled, leaning down to be face-to-face with you.

“I don’t care,” you said. “I’m going. I don’t care if you don’t want me there. I don’t care that you don’t trust me or like me. This is my job and my responsibility to this Court. And I won’t let you–or anyone–stop me from doing it. So you can either brief me right now, or I can go get Rhysand and you can brief me then.”

Your jaw tensed as you both stared intently at each other, neither one willing to back down. Gods, you wanted to fight him. Perhaps it was immature, but you didn’t care. Perhaps it will prove your abilities and capabilities to him. Perhaps you will beat him and put him in his place. You needed to let out your rage and physically attacking him was a very tempting option.

“Eris has been spotted frequenting an undisclosed location in the art district of Hewn City,” he said calmly. His entire demeanor relaxed, and his features became uncaring as he sat back down in his chair. “We suspect he’s been having secret meetings with someone there. I’ve sent spies, but they were unable to gather any information. Someone has to try to go inside. There’s music heard and well-dressed faes are constantly streaming in and out, hence your dress.”

You nodded, absorbing the information. The mission seemed simple enough, and you hoped you would not have any run-ins with your family. Parties in the art district were not something that they tended to stray toward.

“When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow at dusk” His eyes moved to the papers in front of him once more, the action dismissal enough.

“I’ll see you then.”

As you walked away, you felt his heavy gaze burning on your retreating back. Always judging you. Always scrutinizing you. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself with the realization that you had much to prove in the Court of Nightmares.

—-----------*-------------

You stared at yourself in the full-length mirror, half in horror and half appreciatively. The dress was revealing more of you than you ever had before. The plunging neckline reached down to your navel, exposing the soft skin of your cleavage and stomach. The soft flowy skirt reached down to the floor, with two symmetrical thigh-high slits on either side. You knew you looked good, yet still felt a wave of bashfulness crash over you.

You made your way downstairs, your confidence growing with each step you took. You looked good, but you felt even better, loving how the material hugged your skin. It was out of your comfort zone, but you felt beautiful and desirable.

When you made it to the foyer, Azriel’s eyes met yours and his eyes hardened. His analyzing gaze slowly made its way down your figure and his jaw twitched. You took a deep breath, pointedly ignoring the visceral disdain of you, and looked at Mor, who would be winnowing you to the mountain.

“You look incredible, (Y/N),” your friend said, admiring the way the dress fit you. She approached you, fixing a strand of your hair that had fallen out of place.

“To be honest, I feel incredible,” you murmured to her and you both giggled.

A huff of annoyance came from beside you and you looked at Azriel as he rolled his eyes. Your smile faded and an embarrassed heat rose to your neck and face. You knew that he wanted you to hear it–the Spymaster would not let any of his emotions show without it being intentional. He wanted you to know that he did not agree with Mor and an inkling of doubt entered your mind that perhaps you did not look as good as you thought.

You glared at him, unable to control the ripple of indignation that rushed through you. Mor sighed from beside you and his eyes moved to her, softening significantly. To yourself, you could admit that it hurt you to see the way he was looking at her. You understood that she had been in his life for a lot longer than you had, that he had been in love with her for a long time, but it still made you feel inadequate. Why couldn’t he trust you as he trusted her? What more could you do to be worthy in his eyes?

“We’re ready to go,” he said and Mor nodded, slipping her palm into his.

She looked at you and smiled reassuringly. “I’ll be right back for you.”

The air around you thinned and grew cold for a moment as they winnowed away. The silence intensified in your solitude. No one else was present in the Townhouse and your thoughts began to spiral. You felt out of place, suddenly wondering why you were even needed in this mission in the first place. You willed the intrusive thoughts away, focusing instead on the job in front of you. You were confident in yourself. You knew you were competent.

Mor returned quickly and smiled gently at you.

“You’re feeling alright?”

You nodded. She raised her eyebrow at you and you sighed.

“I’m just frustrated that I have to go there with him,” you admitted. “He didn’t even bother telling me anything about this.” She was silent as you walked towards her and slipped your hand into hers.

“I’m sorry. I know Azriel’s behavior toward you hurts you,” she said. “I wish you would get along–you’re more similar than you think. I wish he would give you a chance.”

“Unlikely.”

She gave you a wistful smile. You shrugged and closed your eyes through the pulling sensation in your gut and the brief moment of total darkness as she winnowed. You found yourself next to Azriel at the entrance to the Hewn City and you took a deep, calming breath.

“Good luck, you two,” Mor said before winnowing away.

Hewn City always brought up old, unwanted memories for you. The shadowed avenues, the dark stone paving the streets, and the many buildings with rising spires. This was the place that you grew up in–yet it never felt like home. You hated everything about it. Your exposed skin broke out in goosebumps, the cold from being so deep inside the mountain chilling you and sudden claustrophobia made the walls feel like they were enclosing you.

“Focus.” The growl came from your left and you shook the sudden panic away. Your eyes met Azriel’s intense stare, his eyes fixated on you and his hand was wrapped around your elbow. Despite the anger in his voice, his grip was gentle and his eyes shone with something resembling concern.

“I’m focused.” You could never fight the urge to talk back to him.

“You’re panicking.”

“It’s this place,” you found yourself admitting after a few moments of silence. “It brings back unpleasant memories.”

He didn’t answer, not that you had expected him to. He let go of your arm and turned away from you, giving you a moment to take a few deep breaths and stop the spiraling of your mind. His shadows shot out from him, slinking into the darkness; invisible spies. They returned after a few moments, curling into the ear of their master.

He turned back to you. “Your parents are not here. You can relax.”

You were stunned that he had sent his shadows to check. You were sure that he knew snippets of your past, but it was never something you had opened up to him about. He had always kept you at arm's length, despite your efforts to know him. Efforts that he had quickly crushed.

“Eris is heading into the art district. We should get there right away,” Azriel said, turning back and beginning to walk away. You quickly followed.

The bobbing faelights illuminated the way forward and you both clung to the shadows, silently tracking the Autumn Court heir. The art district in Hewn City was vastly different from Velaris. While the Rainbow celebrated life and love and drew crowds of reverent aesthetes, the Court of Nightmares lauded debauchery, hedonism, and lewdness. Every surface of the city within the mountain was engraved with haunting carvings of beasts and figures fornicating or reveling or killing. Despite the craftsmanship, the art had always sent a shiver down your spine.

Eris walked at a brisk pace, his tall, lean figure moving quickly through the darkness of the city, his red hair hidden by the black cloak he wore. He easily blended into the large crowds of people trying to get to the many different parties held in this district, but Azriel did not lose sight of him once.

He made an abrupt left, turning down an alley. You and Azriel observed from across the way as he opened a black, unmarked back door and entered the building.

“Any idea what it could be in there?” you whispered to Azriel.

“I don’t know.” His eyes did not waver from the door as he shook his head. His nostrils flared as he took a deep breath in.

Your took a deep breath and your nose twitched as a familiar pungent smell reached you.

“Mirthroot?” you asked, your tone laced with humor.

He nodded as his shadows spiraled away from him and skulked toward the door and through the cracks between the walls. Within a few moments, the shadows returned, buzzing and curling around Azriel’s ear. His eyebrows furrowed and he reeled the shadows back toward himself.

“What is it?”

“They’re telling me to go in,” he said.

“What?! Did they say what is in there?”

He shook his head. “I can control where they go, I can’t control what they tell me.”

You rolled your eyes. “So we know exactly nothing? That’s useful.”

He glared at you. “They’re certainly more useful than you are.”

You suppressed the pang of hurt you felt in your gut and glared back at him. Without another word, you turned away from him and began stomping toward the alley. A firm grasp on your bicep pulled you to a quick stop and Azriel turned you toward him, his eyes hard and face furrowed in anger.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“Where do you think? Your little shadows said to go in. So that’s what I’m doing.”

“No, you are not.”

Your hands clenched into fists and you tried to wrestle your arm away from his grip. “Yes, I am.”

“Are you really so illogical that you would risk your life running into that building?” You opened your mouth to retort, but he did not let you get a single word out. “Absolutely not. You will stay right here and I will go in.”

He turned away from you and began making his way toward the entrance. Indignant fury burned within you. How dare he order you to stay? This was your mission too; whether he disapproved of having you there or not, you did not care. You would see the mission through. You followed behind him, your steps quickening to catch up with his long strides.

As his grip wrapped around the handle to the door and opened it, you squeezed through beside him and stood in front of the guard that that stood there. The rest of the room was shielded from your view by thick, black curtains but the beat of the jazzy music played in your ear. Azriel’s glare was piercing, anger rolling off of him like raging waves. You pointedly ignored his eyes on the side of your face and smiled at the guard, who looked unimpressed and annoyed.

“Any weapons?”

You and Azriel shook your heads. The fae checked you both, patting you both down thoroughly to ensure that you were being honest and you found yourself grateful for Azriel being able to hide your weapons within his shadows. You felt a pang of guilt for calling them useless, but you would never admit that to him.

The male looked at you. “Did you take your tea?”

You were confused but nodded anyway. “Yes.”

He stepped aside easily enough; the ward around the building probably offered security enough to its inhabitants. You followed Azriel as he made his way through the thick black curtain. He paused for a moment in front of you and you shoved him gently. He stepped aside, allowing you to see the space before you. Thick smoke from the mirthroot being burned covered the room. The faelights flickered a dark blue, making the room look ethereal. You felt like you had stepped into a dream cloud.

Rhythmic music played from a corner of the room, enlightening your senses and your eyes were drawn toward the massive, impressive paintings hanging from the walls.

A loud sigh drew your attention to the group of people on the couch. Males and females were gathered closely, completely naked and exposed. Some were kissing, others were touching, and others were fucking. The scent of arousal lingered weak under the mirthroot, but it was undeniable.

It was a pleasure party.

You made eye contact with another female across the room. A male was underneath her, fucking her from behind and the other male was above her, fucking into her pussy. They moved in perfect tandem with each other and you were unable to look away. The female smiled at you, winking as another male approached her, and she shoved his cock into her mouth. Your legs began to tingle and you gasped softly, turning your eyes away from the sight, your face burning hot.

“Maybe we should leave,” you said, unable to meet his gaze.

“Well, well.” The voice from behind you was deep and haughty and you turned quickly. Eris Vanserra’s amber eyes shone mischievously at you and Azriel.

“I figured Rhysand would send his hound after my scent,” he said, staring at Azriel.

“We’re not here for you,” you said quickly.

“Not that it’s any of your concern,” Azriel said, jumping in quickly and effectively shutting you up.

“I think it is. It’s a matter of trust. I was under the impression that we were building an alliance. Was I mistaken?”

“No,” you jumped in again, attempting to salvage the situation. Your anxiety was rising, but you shoved it down, trying to remain calm and appear casual. You did not want to jeopardize any potential alliance between the Courts, knowing Rhysand would be very upset and it could potentially threaten the Night Court in the future.

“You’re not mistaken.” You smiled reassuringly at him, amping your charm and batting your eyelashes at him. “We’re not here for you. Just looking to have some fun of our own. Explore a bit. Same as you.”

“Well, in that case…” He trailed off, taking your hand in his and bringing it up to his lips as he bent down. He pressed a soft kiss to your knuckles and smirked at you. Your face felt warm as his gaze remained on yours. A shadow loomed over you, and you broke eye contact to look behind you at Azriel. His face was stoic, but his wings twitched in what you could only assume was annoyance.

Eris tugged on your hand gently, pulling your attention back to him. “Would you care for a smoke?”

He began leading you to the table he occupied, where a group of fae sat and mingled. Azriel’s presence remained behind you as he followed close behind, ready to intervene. Eris grabbed the water pipe that sat at the center of the table and lit the mirthroot with a flick of his finger. He took a long drag, filling the glass with thick, potent smoke. He held the pipe to you, and you pressed your mouth to the cold glass, inhaling the heady smoke.

You held the smoke for a few moments, exhaling slowly and the feeling of relaxation began to crawl its way through you.

Azriel’s large hand wrapped around your arm and turned you toward him. “Let’s go.”

He began to walk away, but your wrist remained clasped in Eris’ hand. Azriel turned back around and glared at Eris. His gaze moved to you, an indiscernible look in his eye. His face was stern, lips squeezed shut into a thin frown and his jaw clenched.

“We’re leaving.” His low, hoarse voice caused a shiver to roll down your spine. His darkened eyes did not leave yours, smoke swirling between you.

“Why?” The haughty voice of the Autumn Court heir interrupted the moment, bringing you right back to the party around you. You looked up at him, finding a smirk on his lips and his eyes on your chest.

“She said you were both here to explore,” Eris said, and Azriel glowered at him. “And I would love to explore her.”

His hand raised slowly, his long, thin fingers caressing the skin of your wrist and traveling up your exposed arm softly. The warmth of his hands raised goosebumps on your flesh.

The loud, rumbling snarl that came out of Azriel in that moment surprised you. You tore your eyes from the redhead and looked back at Azriel, a look of pure hatred and anger on his face. You froze as he grabbed your arm, pulling you gently towards him and out of Eris’ grasp. His shadows swirled around him, hiding you from Eris’ eyes.

“Do. Not. Touch. Her.”

You looked up at him in shock. You had never seen his face look as twisted and angry as it did right then, a snarl on his perfect lips and a deep furrow on his brow. He was not a male prone to losing his composure easily. He was always so serious. But the dark, angry look in his eyes made a spike of fear strike in your chest and you wondered if he would be as smoldering and voracious with a lover beneath him to feast upon.

“Someone needs to. She looks delectable.”

Azriel’s chest rumbled and his gaze stayed on Eris as he slowly pulled you backward. His grip on your arm remained gentle, yet firm, and you had no choice but to be dragged along with him. He sat before you on one of the large loveseats scattered throughout the room. His hands moved to your hips, pulling you towards him until you kneeled on the seat, straddling his thighs and your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck.

You somehow managed to find your voice through the shock coursing through you. “What are you doing?” you whispered.

His eyes were affixed to your face, still intense, but his frown had softened and his face had relaxed.

“Fitting in. You said we came here on our own for enjoyment, so now this is what we’re doing.”

Of course, he would blame you for your current predicament. “Clearly he’s here because he’s a kinky motherfucker; there was no need to make him distrustful of us. I was quick on my feet,” you answered back, defensively. You felt like your body was buzzing on high alert.

“Yes, well, now we have to fit in,” he said, his hands trailing your hips and lower back. Despite the sarcasm lacing his words, his eyes remained gentle, looking at you as if this was normal–as if it was wanted.

No…you were seeing things, of course. Azriel did not want to be in this situation, and he definitely did not want you.

A presence behind you blocked the faelights, shrouding Azriel in darkness. You glanced behind you, finding Eris smirking down at you. His hand rose trailing your shoulders and down your spine teasingly. You shivered, skin breaking out into goosebumps.

The hands around your hips tightened and Azriel pulled you closer to him. Your chest was pressed tightly against his, and the scent of cedar and icy air filled your lungs. His presence so close to you and the warm hand still attached to your shoulder made your brain hazy for a moment.

You looked at his handsome face, never having seen it so close before. He glared at the redhead that lingered behind you.

“Leave.”

“No,” you said, moving a hand to place it on top of Eris’ hand. “Stay.”

Hazel eyes met yours, shock and surprise in them. Eris moved closer still, heat radiating from his body and onto your back, and his hands began to trace the exposed skin of your back and shoulders. The male ran hotter than normal, the unfamiliar heat leaving your skin tingling and craving more. Azriel’s breathing deepened and although his face remained as stoic as ever, a deep blush had risen to his cheeks and neck, and his wings were pulled taut against his back.

The thin strap of your dress was nudged out of the way, and a steamy kiss was pressed to the exposed skin.

“Is this alright, little one?”

“Yes,” you breathed, desperation coating your words. This was what you needed. You needed to fuck someone, fuck the stress and the frustration away. And if you weren’t going to get that from the male straddled beneath you, the heir to the Autumn Court was an enticing alternative. Azriel’s grip on your hips tightened to an almost painful level, but the wetness in your core was continuously building and you had never been as aroused as you were in that moment.

The other strap was pushed down your arm. The flimsy fabric of the dress fell easily and pooled at your waist, exposing your breasts to Azriel. His dark, heavy gaze finally left yours, eyes looking down shamelessly and staring at your body. Your nipples were hard and your breasts heavy with arousal. He froze beneath you, hands going slack against your skin, and he was unable to tear his eyes away from you.

Warm lips pressed against the curve of your neck, slowly tracing down your left shoulder and down your back. Another presence–a small, dainty female–appeared on your right and her petite hands began running over your flushed skin. Heat pooled on your core at the overstimulation. Azriel’s hands gripped your hips impossibly tight and his eyes met yours again, Eris’ warm lips and hands roamed the left side of your body, and the spunky female at your right lightly caressed and suddenly pinched your nipple causing you to shiver and moan.

You seemed to have no control over your body, you felt as if your soul had ascended and all you craved was pleasure. Your hips began moving, slowly sliding back and forth on Azriel’s covered length. He was hard as steel beneath you and you gasped in surprise at just how large he felt. Your eyes remained on Azriel’s, mesmerized at the rosy blush on his cheeks and the color of his eyes, thin rings of melted honey surrounding his onyx pupils. His wild gaze was fierce, striking you down to your core and a burst of hope to spark in your heart.

The female beside you traced her tongue over your neck before biting–hard. You moaned, the heat crawling through you intense and all-consuming. You found yourself close to the edge when the tip of Azriel’s clothed cock hit your clit and Eris’ ardent touch reached your breast and squeezed your nipple.

A pair of heated hands wrapped around you from behind and grabbed onto your breasts roughly. His lips continued to trail down your neck. You shut your eyes in pleasure, your head dropping backward until it landed on Eris’ shoulder. Where had the female gone? Did it matter when you felt this good?

“Keep rubbing, little kitten,” he purred in your ears and his long, skilled fingers pinched around your pink nubs. While you would normally argue against the cheeky nickname, the mirthroot had you entirely too relaxed and the male beneath you had you entirely too turned on.

Eris gripped your jaw, turning your face towards his and he pressed his lips brusquely against yours with a bruising force. The kiss was messy, full of teeth and tongue. He tasted of cinnamon and burned embers–like a warm autumn day spent near a fire. Your arms wound themselves around Azriel’s neck, holding on tightly as Eris bent your head back.

The deep growl that escaped the Shadowsinger made your heartbeat stutter and your hips increased their speed on his lap.

“Fuck this.”

The delicious grip he had maintained on your hips was momentarily gone, and you feared he would stop you. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist and pulled you forcefully toward him until your front was pressed flush against his. Your bare chest pressed against the rough fabric of his leathers and his own hips started moving in tandem with yours. Your noses pressed close together, and your heavy pants mingled, his scent intoxicating and making you think of only him.

He looked completely fucked and you were sure you looked quite similar to him. He had not even entered you and you were both teetering on the edge of orgasm.

A soft caress to your lower back brought you back to reality and you could still feel Eris’ presence behind you. Azriel’s large wings that had been held taut against his back abruptly expanded, and then curled around you, pushing the Autumn heir away and shielding you from his prying eyes and wandering hands. The frigid slivers of shadows tracing up your legs aided the male in hiding you away from everyone else.

He pushed your hips back, one of his hands holding firm on the back of your neck, his other maneuvering to the front of his leathers, unlacing them easily, and pushing the fabric away. His large dick was exposed, his sheer size exciting you and you could not help but think of the rumors regarding wing size and just how true they were. You moved the skirt of your dress up around your waist and nestled your naked core on the velvety skin of his dick. Your hips undulated on his in a perfect rhythm, his head hitting your clit with precision each time, causing pleasure to ripple down your back.

Beads of sweat dripped on his forehead, plastering strands of dark curls to his skin. His large, calloused, and strong hands gripped your ass, fingers digging deep into the skin, the slight pain making you moan. The thought of the bruises that he would leave on you made your clit throb, your juices flowing and dripping onto him.

His forehead pressed together against yours and his eyes burned intensely into yours–bright fires of melted honey that you were entirely too happy to drown in. He moved one of his hands to your neck and pulled you toward him, his soft lips meeting yours and he kissed you slowly, ardently, taking the time to explore your mouth.

The frenzied humping of your hips slowed to a gentle rhythm and your stomach suddenly exploded with butterflies, nerves starting to spread to your heart and too many thoughts to wander through your head.

His hands turned gentle, slowly sliding up and wrapping tightly around your back. You slowly broke the kiss and looked at him.

“I thought you didn’t trust me,” you said. Despite the worry that he would dismiss your fears and turn back to scorn and sarcasm, you decided to be vulnerable with him. Regardless of your past with him, something had irrevocably changed and you decided to be open and jump headfirst into it.

“I do trust you,” he answered, eyes honest.

Your bodies sat still together, and you held each other. The muffled sounds of the people around you silenced as his shadows crawled up the both of you, shielding you from wandering eyes and prying ears. The light of his siphons lit up your faces in shades of blue, making it feel dreamlike.

“Why did you never want me to go on missions?”

“I wanted to protect you,” he said. “When Mor brought you from Hewn City to Velaris, I was distrustful, at first, but as I got to know you and your story…I felt so protective over you. You’ve been through so much, and I vowed to keep you away from anything that could hurt you again. It was wrong; I know you’re capable of taking care of yourself, but I never wanted to be the one to put you in a position where you got hurt. I should’ve told you my reasoning back then, but I didn’t. You fucking despised me for doing it. I wanted to explain myself to you, but then I figured that it was for the best. I’m not a good male. I do wicked things, and my past will always haunt me. I put the people I love in danger.”

United tears glimmered in his eyes and your throat felt tight. Your brain was hazy, focused only on him and his words, and you gaped at him in shock. Never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined Azriel saying these things to you. Being honest and vulnerable and tender with you. But here he was, looking at you with intensely caring eyes.

“I know it’s hard to believe, considering the way I treated you. Fuck, I’m so sorry for that, (Y/N). You didn’t deserve that, and I realize that I was wrong. I wanted to keep you safe, but I ended up hurting you in the process.”

“I forgive you,” you said, and you did. He did cause you pain and confusion and anger, but you knew who he was deep down. He was the male that took care of his brothers when they got shit-faced drunk and could barely make it a few steps up the stairs. He was the male that always made sure to get the latest smutty release for Nesta on the very first day it came out. He was the male and loved playing with Nyx and took joy in all the less pleasant aspects of caring for a babe. The male so desperate to protect you that he let his insecurities cloud his judgment. You wanted to get to know that male.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

You had a sudden thought that Azriel probably didn’t think he deserved much of anything. It broke your heart.

“That’s not your choice, Azriel. I choose to forgive you. And I understand now the reason behind everything. But the only way anything could ever work between us is for you to understand that I make my own decisions and I have a responsibility to this Court, as do you,” you said.

He breathed in a deep, shaky breath and leaned his forehead against yours. “I know. I’ll be better for you, I promise.”

You breathed deeply as a stinging pain grew on your left wrist. You pulled your arm from around him and glanced down, finding a small, crawling tattoo on your skin. Glancing at Azriel, he was admiring the matching mark on his wrist. Promises among fae were serious things–you felt honored. And a bit overwhelmed.

“That was a bit dramatic,” you teased, breaking the tension. He huffed a laugh and pressed his lips against yours in a soft, caressing kiss.

There was a beat of silence, both of you basking in the novelty and intimacy of the moment. He brushed his nose against yours, a small smile on his lips and his awed eyes fixated on yours.

“I can’t believe I have you like this,” he said and his hands lowered to grip your ass and push your pelvis hard against his.

You felt heat rise on your cheeks and to the tips of your ears and you could not help the smile that grew on your lips. His eyes glanced down at your smile and he leaned forward, pressing his soft, plump lips to yours once again. He nipped your bottom lip, making you gasp, and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, tasting you, learning you. His scent, the feel of his hands on your bare skin, and the taste of him were consuming you–burrowing deep into your skin. Your body felt like it was on fire.

In a moment of clarity, you broke the kiss, giggling as he tried to chase your lips with his.

“Azriel, what does this mean?” you panted, out of breath and flustered.

“It means that I’m crazy about you. You’re so strong and stubborn and you can be a brat sometimes, and I’m obsessed with you. I’m so fucking soft for you, baby. I want you like this, with me, always. I want to kiss you and take you on dates and anything else you’re willing to give me.” His brilliant smile lit up his face. He was the most beautiful male you had ever seen.

“I want that, too,” you said, pressing your lips against his, gently pulling his lip to your mouth. Mother above, he was irresistible. You could not get enough.

He broke the kiss, trailing his mouth down your cheek and jaw, leaving a warm tingling on your skin. Your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, holding him tight to your body.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered against your skin but not low enough to where you couldn’t hear him. He meant for you to hear him. He kissed down your neck now, the path igniting your skin and making the blood pump through your veins like molten lava. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Maybe it was the mirthroot,” you teased. Your breathy laugh turned to a moan as he bit down on the junction between your neck and shoulder.

Amidst the clouds of lust that shrouded your thoughts, you managed to pull away from him once again and he groaned in frustration.

“Az, we should probably leave,” you said. Before you were able to move an inch away from him, his arms tightened around you pulling you taut against him. Your bare skin was pushed against the harsh material of his leathers and you found yourself wishing to see him completely bare.

“No,” he whined and you could not hold back the smile at the new sound. “Not yet.”

“There’s a lot of people here,” you said. Despite his shadows masking you in darkness and silence, you felt exposed, knowing that around you, there were people doing the exact same thing that you were.

“Don’t worry,” he said, bringing his face to the crook of your neck and began pressing kisses to your shoulders, slowly moving lower on your chest. “I won’t let anyone see you. Although, you didn’t seem to have a problem with that a few minutes ago. Letting that fucker touch you…kiss you…Perhaps I should punish you.”

You scoffed at him and rolled your eyes. “This is different. This isn't a one-night stand or fucking in the middle of a sex club with a random stranger. It’s with you.”

His eyes softened and he stole another kiss. “I want you right now,” he admitted. “I’ve dreamed so long for this and I’m scared that I’ll never have you like this again. If you want to leave, we can. But, I’d like to make you mine right now, if you allow it. I want everyone here to know that I’m the lucky bastard that gets to have you.”

Your eyes widened in surprise; his desperation nearly mirrored yours and you felt the familiar heat creep up your face and swirl in your core. You felt vulnerable, exposed, and yet…it was exciting.

Your arms tightened around Azriel’s shoulder and you nodded. “Yes.”

He bent his head down and bit your nipple, eliciting a moan from deep within you and you arched your back, pushing your chest closer to him. His mouth wrapped around the tingling skin, gently licking and sucking at your breast. His hand on your back pulled your hips tighter against his, pressing your cunt against his erection and he groaned against your chest, his other hand kneading the skin of your ass.

Your hand managed to sneak in between your bodies, reaching down and gripping his throbbing member in your hand and lining him up at your entrance. You looked deep into his eyes as you slowly slid him inside of you and sank down, taking him deep to the hilt, his tip hitting your cervix once he was fully sheathed within you. Your knees pressed tight against his sides and he groaned. He closed his eyes, head rolling back and he gasped as you clenched around him. The stretch from the mere size of him was incredible and you groaned low in your throat.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” His voice was raspy and deep, sending a shiver up your spine.

You began rolling your hips slowly, grinding on his thick cock, the delicious friction making you feel delirious.

“Azriel,” you moaned as your clit rubbed perfectly against his pelvic bone. He looked at you, his hazel eyes fixed on yours and you refused to break eye contact. His hands, calloused and scarred, ran over your soft skin—over your thighs, your back, belly, and breasts. Anywhere he could reach.

It was heavenly. It was perfect.

You swirled your hips, a groan leaving him and you began to ride him in earnest, your pussy tightening around him and your thrusts becoming sporadic as a burning began to spread in your lower belly and thighs.

He gripped your ass, holding you with a bruising force against him, and began thrusting up into you, the delicious roughness lighting your body on fire and burning you from the inside out. He felt like he was made for you. You wished he would remain in you forever. He moaned in your ear and set a furious speed, hitting you deep in a spot that made you see stars and you screamed in pleasure.

“Cum right now,” he growled, kissing and biting down your neck, and your pussy squeezed around him, impossibly tight. You could feel every inch of him–the thick vein that ran on the underside of his penis, the thick head that slammed repeatedly into your cervix.

Without warning, you reached your peak–your vision turned white, and your entire body tightened, fingernails digging deep into the skin of Azriel’s back. Your eyes shut tight and with a few more thrusts, he carried you through the most mind blowing orgasm you had ever had. You clung tight to him as he continued to thrust within you, your pussy clenching and overstimulated.

“Azriel,” you whined in his ear, begging for a respite.

“One more, baby,” he groaned back. His voice was tight and his eyes hard as he gazed down to where your bodies connected. You could tell he was holding himself back from letting go. “Just need one more from you.”

With no time to recover from your first orgasm, it didn’t take you too long to reach your second. The pleasure was blinding and deafening, teetering on the edge of pain but it was so good that you never wanted it to end. You could think of nothing but him in that moment, the way he gripped you, so strong and powerful beneath you, his impressive length stuffed inside of you, and the delicious friction. Your juices squirted out of you, soaking the skin between the two of you and you sobbed in utter pleasure.

He growled loudly, and his body shook as he came inside of you.

You both clung to each other for a few moments, chests heaving and hearts pounding in your chests. He panted softly, his head pressing against your neck.

After catching your breath, you leaned back and stared at his perfect face. His skin was dewy, sweaty from exertion and his eyes were glazed. He smiled at you, bright and unreserved and you found yourself breathless for a moment. He had never smiled at you like that and it made your heart flutter.

He pressed a soft, chaste kiss on your lips.

“We have a lot more we need to talk about. I think it’s time to go,” he said and you nodded, laughing softly.

“Agreed.”

His hands went to the straps hanging from your waist and moved the bodice of the dress back up to cover your chest. You lifted your hips slowly, and shuddered at the feeling of him sliding out of you. He unfurled his wings from where they had wrapped around you and you stood back, your skirts sliding down your calves and dropping to your feet. Azriel stood, towering over you, and fixed his leathers, dissipating the shadows from around you.

The sudden influx of light was jarring and you squinted. Azriel’s hand wrapped around yours and he began leading you to the exit.

A throat cleared from behind you, and you turned to find Eris. His eyes were bloodshot red, probably from the rolled mirthroot he was smoking, and he had a lazy smirk directed at the two of you.

“Leaving so soon?” he asked, offering you the joint. You took it from him, inhaling the pungent herbs. You held it up to Azriel, who took a drag, a glare remaining fixed on the redhead.

“We had our fun,” you answered, letting out the smoke from your lungs and handed it back to him.

“A shame. Perhaps next time,” he answered, becoming distracted as a fully naked, full-figured woman approached him and began running her hand on his shoulder. His attention immediately focused on her beautiful figure and Azriel took that as the chance to leave, grabbing your hand and rushing you out of the building quickly, making your way out of the mountain at record speeds.

“There will not be a next time,” Azriel growled from beside you, eyes hardened and you giggled at his jealousy. Had he been stewing on Eris’ comments the entire time?

“So possessive already?” you teased. He glared at you, the look so reminiscent of the hard looks he had given you in the past. But now, instead of the pangs of hurt that you used to feel, you could only find peace.

“You never know. It could be fun.”

The growl from beside you was your only warning as he swept you into his arms and into the night sky, his wings expanding majestically behind him. Your stomach dropped at the height, and you giggled in exhilaration.

“Don’t count on it. I don’t plan on sharing you with anyone anytime soon.”

He pressed a kiss to your lips and your arms tightened around his shoulders as he began his flight home. You knew that things were not perfect, that Azriel had a lot to atone for, and tough conversations would be inevitable. You could not wait for it–for a future with him.

#azriel x reader #azriel x you #acotar x reader #acotar x you #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #azriel fanfic

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jean0farc · 5 months

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・⸝⸝﹒₊˚ UNDRESS ★・⸝⸝﹒₊˚

an album dedicated to Arlecchino.

TRACK 001.

What Looks So Strong, So Delicate

𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: psychological horror.

𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: Arlecchino X You (Reader)

𝖈𝖜: possessive behavior.

𝖘𝖞𝖓𝖔𝖕𝖘𝖎𝖘:

You’ve grown tired of Arlecchino’s antics when it comes to her trying to overprotect you from head to toe, let alone keep you from seeing other people she deemed as a threat. After holding back your urges to end the intimate relationship between both of you, you finally gave into your plan of packing your belongings, ready to travel back to your family’s home. To compensate for your absence, you left a note in her office while she was gone, stating your intentions of breaking up with her and leaving for good.

Little did you know, days after arriving to see your family out of fearing confrontation, your family was nowhere to be found. After thinking you’ve had the chance of a successful escape, you just had to surrender every bit of your pride upon confronting your crazed lover.

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗’𝖘 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊: Something from the vault. Unreleased.

Banner credit by @benkeibear.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

All it took was one voice that rendered you weak on the knees, its tone penetrating your eardrums. Before even looking back, you were greeted with a shadowy figure towering over you from behind. Your eyes widened in shock. You stopped dead in your tracks, caught within the predator’s trap this time, not knowing where to go and what to do. That kind of voice seemed familiar, you thought, as it sounded deep and threatening; it sounded as if someone was about to kill you at that very moment, your instincts telling you to jump out the window in fear.

It was definitely the voice of someone angry, someone completely crazy over your presence alone.

Your heart rate increased as you turned your back to face the Knave herself. Not knowing how she got access to your home in Mondstadt was something that creeped you out, shivers sending chills down your spine upon realizing that fact.

It’s been days since you last escaped from the Fatui Hideout in Fontaine, defeating all your lover’s most loyal guards and escaping the possessiveness that overfilled the hole of your relationship. It was to no denial that your combat skills were refined and belonging to that of a seasoned warrior. After all, your valor and competence in the art of war was what caught the Knave’s attention, so far as to confess her feelings to you.

After months of arguing over financial matters and resisting The Knave’s desire for control over your freedom, you thought to yourself that YOU had enough of her bullshit. Packing your belongings didn’t feel like a chore, it felt like something you could do forever, for as long as you kept your distance from The Knave. You just didn’t want to be associated with her antics anymore. So all you did was write a sincere letter to her office stating your intention to split up, and that you were leaving to Mondstadt with your family for good.

Days passed since your escape. You spent your quality time bonding with family and enjoying a cup of tea while indulging in joyful chatter. Things went well. However, these memories came to a halt upon witnessing the sudden disappearance of your family when you woke up from a nap tonight. Oh, how the tables have turned. You didn’t expect such a sudden change in the atmosphere when you realized there’s twe was someone who had entered your home.

“Let’s not beat around the bush, shall we?” the Knave spoke. “Tell me, dear, are you tired of us now?”

“I’ve had enough of you.” you replied. “Let’s cut to the chase, alright? I escaped because I felt as if our entire relationship was suffocating me. That letter I sent you is proof of it.”

“Ah, yes…..that letter you gave me. A great argument, but that’s NOT enough.” the Knave said darkly. “I just wanted to surprise you a bit by holding your family captive while indulging ourselves in a rather…. decent conversation. Take this as a moment to clear any form of misunderstanding between us.”

“What is there to be misunderstood, Arlecchino?” you asked. “I already stated my side of the story through that letter. I want freedom. I want to end our relationship.”

“End our relationship?” the Knave chuckled. “Don’t make me laugh. You swore to the Tsaritsa that you shall fight for our relationship to the death once you gave yourself to me. That was a hard promise.”

“Promised? I only mentioned fighting for our relationship to the death because I had faith in you, Arlecchino.” you replied. “But things happen, and people change. We were never fated to be together, knowing all you desired was control over my life and decisions. I’m leaving.”

“You’re not going anywhere.” the Knave warned you. “One escape attempt, and I’ll make sure your family will never see the light of day again.”

“Anything but my family…..” you thought.

“Cat got your tongue?” the Knave sneered. “Poor little creature cares way too much about their family…..I’m almost jealous.”

“Let them go.” you said darkly, your eyebrows furrowing. “I won’t hesitate to run if need be.”

“Are you really going to make things harder for us, my dear? No. You’re not leaving. I won’t allow it.”

“Make me.” you said bravely. While you started running, you were ignored by the Knave this time. However, you felt a knife slash through your arm. Despite the pain you felt from that swift slice, you didn’t stop running. Surprisingly, there was no blood gushing out of your wound as you continued to run. The escape was uncalled for, but you just had to run away to call out someone to help you out, like Amber.

While making your way out of the house, you felt your limbs cramp and your vision starting to blur. It was as if you were about to be paralyzed. You couldn’t feel your legs, your knees wobbling as you lost balance and fell into the ground face first. Looking up, you couldn’t make sense of whose silhouette it was. But it was definitely the Knave’s heels.

“As I thought.” the Knave muttered. She knelt down to grab you by the neck, while your consciousness was about to fade. The last thing you saw was her smirk, her mouth speaking inaudible words as your eyes closed.

“I’m going to have a little fun with you tonight.”

#arlecchino #arlecchino x reader #x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin x you #genshin women #fatui x reader #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere x darling

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sugar-omi · 9 months

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PLSSS I BEG OF U COVE HOLDEN X FEM!READER NEWLY MARRIED AND R JUST SO LOVEY DOVEY AND CANT GET ENOUGH OF EACH OTHER let me stop with the caps anyway as i was saying newly married cove and fem!reader on their honey moon to (insert place with nice oceans and views but you can take them anywhere you want) and they’re just sooo IN LOVE ITS DISGUSTING HOW IN LOVE THEY ARE you can add spice and intimacy if u want 🤷🏾❤️‼️

IM SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE THIS ITS BEEN SITTING IN THE DRAFTS FOREVER.... im gonna blame it on my demon cat, its his fault he always wants to play outside i wanted a cat not a dog wtf !!!!! anyway here you go anon i loved writing this sm bc i have been thinking abt honeymoon hcs for awhile mmm<3333 also i jus wanna say cove is very much a "grabs your stomachs n prbly shakes it" man, like yk how your boyfriend is always grabbing your stomach idk at first i thought it was weird like "wtf is he grabbing your stomach n shaking it" but now i know. n cove does it ok i wont explain it but he also rubs anywhere, hes tracing your body n making shapes w his fingers on you, hes just so TOUCHY eta: I JUST REALIZED THIS LIKE 70% SMUT BUT UM.... ANYWAY 😁😁i hope you like it anyway, also added a hc's i forgot at the v bottom <3333

tags : fluff, step 4/wedding dlc, fem/afab reader (could be okay for masc/amab/nb readers as well if you ignore cove calling you 'wife' once), buff tatted cove, headcanons at the very bottom below the nsfw

+ NSFW (at the bottom), fem/afab reader, rough raw sex, creampie, missionary, v horny cove <3

perhaps i should make a part 2 with all the times n places cove fucks you during your honeymoon, mmm thats a good idea write that down write that down

synopsis : you and cove on your honeymoon to the bahamas !!

surprise to literally no one, you two pick the Bahamas for your honeymoon

it wasn't a hard pick. it was just a matter of where had the nicest views, open hotels, and safest locations, and with how cove got more starry-eyed with each solidified detail, the Bahamas was your destination.

if it wasn't for the fact that you just had an eventful wedding full of love from friends and family, plus the plane trip, cove would've dropped everything and ran for the glittering water.

once you're checked in and changed from your flight clothes into something a bit more dressy but comfortable, you and cove make your way for some much anticipated dinner.

when you're seated, the silence between you two is so easy and filled by the bustle of the restaurant.

across from you, cove is watching you with his chin hiked atop his clasped fingers, easily looking like a puppy.

"what? what're you staring at?" you laugh, taking a dip if your drink to uselessly wash away your fluster at your husband's blatant staring.

cove already has a rosy tint to his cheeks and if he was younger cove would've caught fire at being caught staring. instead he just grinned cheerily and happily, with a gaze of a man sick with love. "just admiring my wife."

you can't help but tuck your head a bit, flustered by his direct compliment. God you're in for a long marriage.

thank god, you think distantly.. a lifetime of being flustered by each other no matter how long you're together doesn't sound to bad at all.

while you're eating, you two respond to your family blowing up the "[Last] - Holden family" group chat, that was so courteously made by your snickering sister and cousin leading up to your wedding.

after a lovely dinner (only after you reassured cove that you had a few days to try out everything on the menu before the trip was over) you two took a well deserved nap together with cove tucked into your neck and your fingers in his hair. <3

okay listen... would it be bad to say you planned your wedding around your honeymoon

there's a reason!!!

i imagine you and cove (mostly cove) wanted to rent a house on the beach, or at least close to it, but i imagine its hard to snag one so once you finally got a place the wedding just fell around it

while you're in the bedroom sleeping, recovering and recharging, cove still gets up early to go play around on the beach.

not without a fight though!

when he wakes up the sky is still navy, and he flips over, feeling antsy to start the day and your activities.

but there you are, laying next to him in one of his shirts that you've stolen and your face is still scrunched up a bit from cove's movement which makes him settle down.

cove reaches to stroke your cheek, running his hand over your hair and he admires the way your face relaxes from the touch...

he feels like kicking and screaming right now, now looking at his ring(s) and remembering that you're married and you're his and he's yours and...

he's going to bawl his eyes out again.

so instead of crying and watching you until you wake up, which definitely won't be for another hour or more at least, he slowly untangles himself from you and the sheets.

it kills him a bit to do so, wanting nothing more than to be close to you every second of the day but he also wants to make you feel special today. he also can't stay in bed that long, he's too much of a busybody to do that..

so when you finally wake up, after much struggle and a lot of stretching, you drag yourself from the bed and tame your wild hair before you find your husband.

cove is leaning on the porch overlooking the beach, a random song playing lowly on the radio that you left on last night.

he whips around when you tug open the sliding door and abandons his orange juice to pull you into his arms and cove's rocking you two back n forth, kissing your jaw and cheek and he's holding your hand and compliments you.

"you look so pretty..."

"nice ring, your husband is really lucky." he says it with a smirk and you both laugh.

when he finally snaps out of his daze, totally bewitched by the warmth of the sun, view of the beach accompanied by the sound of waves and the way you lean into him had cove in a trance.

he leads you over to the kitchen where he insists you sit and watch while he makes breakfast.

in the end, you do end up spending most the day at the beach house. so when lee shoots a series of text asking about your day and if you did anything, you respond with a picture of you two buried in the blankets and a christmas hallmark movie on the TV, you laugh at her spam about how you should be enjoying the sand and waves instead of a out of season movie and respond with a meme.

the next day you spend a lot of it outside, and i even imagine you rent a boat to take out for the day or smth like that and it reminds you of when lee took you all out on a boat, but this time it was just the 2 of you

let me just say.. everyone even 5 miles away can tell you're on your honeymoon

cove is always looking at you

whether its to see how you react to a good joke

or you're telling a story and he's watching in admiration at your mannerisms while you speak

or you're at the booth ordering ice cream for the both of you

or even better, he's trying his best to capture you imagine as you walk back to him, squeezing out your slip/coverup that blew away and you laugh at him for capturing this moment instead of helping you.

"stop laughing! haha, it's not funny! *swats at him with the coverup* im taking your shirt to cover up with!"

many many pictures and videos of your honeymoon. they're mostly of you

or your shared favorite:

you're on top of cove and his eyes are closed so he doesn't notice you're recording him.

"you've gotten more tan. y'know that reminds me of when we were kids, you had such bad tan lines!" you laugh, the camera shaking.

he squints at you, squeezing your hips when he realizes you're recording him. "i did not."

"you did, i saw it. you had different tan lines from your shorts!" you tease loudly and giggle, thinking about the varying darkness of teenage-cove's tan lines because of how some of his swim shorts and pants hung lower than the other bottoms he'd wear.

cove jumps up a bit, laughing as he sputtered. "you saw that?!"

"yeah! you were the one with your v-line hanging out all the time, mister "i don't like wearing layers'!"

his look is full of love, and so is cove's hands running up and down your hips and back. but he's still smug when he says it and the wide smirk on his face makes you wanna kiss it off him.

"well you were the one looking, i didn't hear any complaints.."

you hit his shoulder, "you're so smug, you brat!", the camera shaking from your laughter.

cove is very handsy during this time

something about being married now has him seeking you out and keeping some form of contact between you

whether its holding hands, locking arms, or kissing you in public

he's always pulling you into him, wrapping a arm around your waist...

but when you're at the beach house.. well i hope you keep the curtains closed for the most part especially in the bedroom because clothes are pretty optional/limited during your honeymoon

usually cove's sex drive is pretty average, or low (i feel like at this point his drive matches yours but it's always a little lower depending on how high yours is, but thats for a different post okok)

so it surprises you how.. horny he is

he surprises himself too honestly

but he just wants to be close to you so bad!

you look so beautiful, and so happy... and now you're married and its like when he was a teenager all over again

the sun is coming through the windows, warming up your naked back.

you hum, enjoying the warmth and you feel the bed shift and now there's lips on your forehead, and cove's hand is running up and down your spine, rubbing soothingly across your shoulders.

"g'morning, y/n..." cove's gravely voice sends a shiver down your spine. "mmm, hi.." you tilt your head to the side, letting him kiss your cheek and the back of your neck.

you peak at him, still sleepy but enjoying the warmth and attention. you try to stretch your body, stretching out your legs and with how cove is leaned over you, your butt brushes against him and makes him gasp, his fingers squeezing your shoulder reflexively.

"at least let me brush my teeth..." you laugh, sitting up and after a second of looking at your clothes on the floor, you grab the robe on the chair beside you and lazily wrap it around you and shuffle to the bathroom.

cove is looking at you, you can feel his gaze and the second you disappear behind the door you hear him shuffling around before he comes behind you, dressed in nothing. cove didn't walk around naked often, only if he was walking around your bedroom finding his clothes for the day, but man was it a treat.

he wraps his arms around you, his hand rubbing your stomach and the other is wandering.

"c'mere..." you mumble, grabbing cove's toothbrush and sitting on the counter to brush his teeth for him. he lets you, and you laugh throughout the process because its a funny thing to do but you get through it and he spits in the other sink beside you before he picks you up and carries you back to bed.

on your way back to the bed, your lips find his shoulder and you add onto the array of marks already bloomed on his neck.

cove lays you down on the bed, shuffling your bodies closer to the pillows, tugging off your robe as you fumble around and throwing it somewhere. you're definitely making him clean up the room after this, but first..

you bring him in, letting your tongues tangle together and cove stretches his arm, looking for the lube and a rubber.

"ah-" cove sits up, and he looks back at you sheepishly. "there's no more.. um..."

you grin, already looking forward to cove's reaction. "that's okay. just fuck me raw, won't be the last time. right, covey?" you tangle your fingers in the sheets and get comfortable while you watch it sink in.

it isn't the first time, but fuck it always turns cove on and it makes him impossibly horny.

cove curses and he moves down, pushing your legs up and he kisses your inner thighs, sucking on the skin very close to your cunt that his cheek brushes against you and you whine, your hands finding his hair.

cove teases you a bit more, but he's teasing himself too so his mouth happily finds your cunt, grinning at the way you jump when his tongue runs over your sensitive clit.

even though cove ran a pleasurable train over you last night, your cunt sensitive but still pulsing with need.

your leg is shaking in cove's hold, his hand holding up one of your legs to give him easy access to your wet cunt but he happily lets your other leg shake on his shoulder, your foot bumping against his side and toes curling as he thrusts his tongue in and out your twitching insides.

he kept tongue-fucking you, his thumb petting your clit and he mumbled praises against your cunt as you came, your slick pooling on his tongue.

you buried your face in the pillow, always left twitching after cove sucks your soul from your body. you peak at cove spreading the lube on your sexes, lining himself up and sinking into you.

"ah fuck..."

cove looks so attractive like this, sunlight streaming in through the sheer curtains and leaned over you, shaded by the broad expanse of his torso and caged between his arms.

"cove!" your nails dig into his shoulders, your mouth falling open with a sharp moan when cove snaps his hips, burying himself inside you.

cove tucks his head into your shoulder, both of you panting and pulling each other closer even though the air between you two is balmy and hot.

"i'm gonna move..." cove kisses your jaw, tearing himself away from you to show you his flushed face. you whine when cove picks up your lower body, stuffing a pillow under you and the movement makes his tip bump your insides.

cove throws your legs over his shoulders and grips your hips in his hands, kissing your ankle that has your anklet hanging on it.

you throw your head back and moan loudly, cove starting a rough pace from the beginning.

you're so sensitive from last night, and cove abusing your insides again has tears coming to your eyes. "oh fuck! please, cove-"

you reach for him and cove offers his hand and intertwines it with yours. you don't know exactly what you're asking for, for him to be more gentle? a kiss? for cove to fuck you harder?

you just want more of him, to be closer, to be one with him...

"its okay, that's it.. good girl." cove shushes you, putting his free hand by your head to lean over you, your legs almost flush with your chest as cove practically mounts you.

something about the sharpness of cove's eyes and his flushed face makes you want to mess with him, so you bring his hand up to your mouth, wrapping your fingers around his tattooed wrist and sucking on his middle and ring finger.

cove groans, watching the way your tongue slides around his wedding band(s). "you.." cove pushes on your tongue, thrusting his hips up to bump against the spongy spot deep inside your cunt.

your eyes roll into the back of your head when cove picks up the pace again, his hips rolling back and slamming against your butt hard, making your body bounce, pushing his cock deeper against your walls.

while you're moaning and crying out so sweetly, cove squeeze's his hand between your bodies to rub your clit, the proximity of your bodies not leaving much room for anything more than tight circles against the poor sensitive nub.

"cove.." you huff, feeling your cunt gush more slick and adding to the wet, loud squelching. "cove, kiss me, please. oh fuck- oh fu-" cove's lips cut off your mindless babbles, muffling yours and his loud moans as he fucks you with shallow thrusts.

he breaks apart, panting and stealing small kisses in between his sentence. "i'm- *kiss* oh god- i'm gonna *kiss, kiss* cum.."

you whimper and hook your shaking leg around cove's back, the overstimulation makes you want to pull away but you're so close and you want cove to make you cum, and to finish with you. to finish inside you.

"cum inside!" your nails scratch down his back. "please, cum, cum inside-"

cove whines into your neck, the rhythm of his thrusts falling apart as he comes closer to finishing. he rubs faster circles on your clit, and when your fingers drag down his back as you cum, cove's hips push your body deeper into the bed as he fills your cunt with his thick cum.

he leans lifelessly over your body, panting into your neck and pressing kisses into your shoulder as he sits up to give you a kiss.

"i'll..i'll run us a bath, okay?" cove smiles dozily, stroking your hips. you blink, trying to regain your vision from your orgasm.

"and carrying me to the bath!" cove nods at that, accepting the fact he's basically rendered your legs useless for the morning. "and you're making breakfast too." you grin at him. "its punishment."

cove kisses your cheeks. "mm, trying out new methods?" cove teases.

you smack his arm and push him away, breath hitching when he pulls out.

cove watches out his cum starts to leak from your poor, twitching cunt and before he can get any bright ideas you put your foot on his shoulder and nudge him. "stop looking!" you tug the sheets over you and cove gets up with a sheepish laugh. "okay, okay!"

is very very whipped for you

does anything n everything you ask the whole trip

when he goes out and it comes up somehow, he'll tell anyone and everyone he's on his honeymoon w his lovely spouse <3

if you do any underwater activities like snorkeling or smth, you're holding hands underwater <333

yes you hold hands everywhere you go, he's so in love with you he just has to be close to you

if you're not holding hands than he's trailing very close behind you or you're at least wearing his shirt

MATCHING OUTFITS

every young person is ither inspired by your relationship or is sick of seeing you at the beach, go HOME

the old people love you and talk your ear off in the middle of the store, telling you stories of their marriages and tips on how to have a long happy marriage

when you tell them you're childhood friends/lovers though they laugh and tell you you already have it down then since you've known each other so long!

when you finally get on the plane to go home, i hope you rmbr to get some foundation or at least tell cove to wear his hair down and a t-shirt instead of a tank top because his neck and back/shoulders are Marked Up

liz and lee tease you about how glowy and refreshed you look <3

cove is very flustered if any of your friends or family see any marks or scratches

or even worse if someone asks if you had a good wedding night, etec

if you want to have kids n give birth, liz also jokes that shes too young to be a grandma for real (you sputter n tell her you and cove arent her kids n shes exaggerating!!)

#our life beginnings and always #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden #olba #cove holden x reader #cove x mc #cove x reader #cove our life #our life cove #our life #cove holden x mc smut #cove holden smut #smut #cove holden x mc

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