#the way the clones are so consistently abused? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

staycalmandhugaclone · 1 year

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I saw one of your story posts mentioning you might take writing requests for trauma comfort... I've been struggling to write this story myself, and I'm looking for a particular flavor of comfort story.

Everyone seems to always latch on to how Hunter is so perceptive and notices things... but there's things he doesn't notice, even with all his sensitive senses. Particularly when there's not an actual immediate danger with a straightforward solution of "shoot it dead" or "talk to it"

Would you be willing to write something where Crosshair is the one to observe, first notice, and recognize tbe fact their new female member of the team, despite being a very active useful member, is tip-toeing around under the weight of past traumas? Then goes out of his way to take care of someone just as stubborn as he is.

I used to live with abusive housemates. While they weren't physically abusive, they were very creative in every other way of hurting their resident empath and later, attacking my whole family. It took me months after we finally kicked them out, for me to realize that i was literally tip-toeing in my own house afraid to make any noise and break tbe quiet, because i used to get badly berated for even small things like rolling in my office chair to my secobd desk while i did filing and paperwork. I didn't sing or play music for a long time, and i still find myself struggling to talk to people.

I like the idea that Crosshair would be the first to recognize long term behavioral patterns while Hunter is very fast in the uptake with someone who's state has changed in the moment.

You're under no obligation to settle this, of course, so please don't feel pressured! I just love the detailed and thoughtful, realistic way you handle writing about things like this.

My sweet darling, I am so sorry it's taken me so long to finish this. Your request became incredibly personal to me, and I both found myself inspired and struggling with how to respond! I'm honored you came to me with this request - I know how hard it is to admit to being hurt like that. Please be kind to yourself as you heal and know that I'm always happy to offer whatever support I can!

Sharp Eyes, Gentle Hands

Warnings: reference to past emotional abuse, fantasy profanity

WC: 2,253

The silence following the gentle hum of the ramp closing left me sinking beneath a deep sigh of relief. Wrecker had sought me out to say goodbye, and I’d peaked from the little kitchenette of the Marauder in time to wave to Hunter and Echo, but Tech and Crosshair were already out of sight. Still, I found myself treading lightly about the ship as I restocked supplies, updated the inventory manifest, and addressed minor maintenance needs that didn’t warrant Tech’s expertise.

This was the beginning of my second three-month tour with Clone Force 99. I’d been assigned to them as something of a secretary in the hopes of improving their less than ideal track record of finishing their paperwork, but had gradually taken on additional small tasks as time passed. While skeptical at first, the boys seemed to have begun warming to my presence, and I was too eager to maintain that trend, even if I was still only trusted to guard the ship during actual missions.

At present, that extra task consisted of reattaching a cabinet door in the storage room that Wrecker had been a bit too forceful with. After muscling it back into its original shape – mostly – all that was left was to screw it back in. I was so caught up in my work, I barely noticed the hum resonate through my chest, nor the moment that tone gradually gave way to murmured words until, just as I stepped back to appreciate my work, I found myself shamelessly singing aloud.

Satisfied, I gathered the tools and headed into the cockpit to return them. It wasn’t until the shouted gasp tore from my throat, body shying back so violently that I nearly slammed into the wall that I even noticed him. Crosshair wordless lifted an eyebrow at my reaction before returning his attention to the helmet in his hands, fingers skillfully toying with the internal gages as though nothing had happened.

“Um, sorry I-I didn’t realize you were still here.” The apology clawed stiffly up my throat, fire burning across my face. He didn’t bother looking at me as he merely responded with a disinterested grunt. Teeth gnawing against the inside of my lips as I vainly willed my heart to ease its panicked pace, I rushed to quietly place the tools back in Tech’s storage, shoulders tucking firmly about my chest.

“Why do you do that?” The words slipped from his lips almost as though he was talking to himself instead of me, but I balked at the silence that followed, fingers shifting nervously at my sides.

“Wh… do what?” The beginnings of an apology sat like poison atop my tongue, demanding to be voiced in the futile hope that it might defuse whatever confrontation was to come.

“If you’re that scared of us, why did you stay?” His arms crossed his chest, confusion just breaching the innate impatience in those sharp eyes.

“I-I’m not… um, I’m sorry you thought that, but I promise I’m not-” My words died the instant he stood from the chair, helmet laid forgotten atop the seat. My gaze instantly darted to the worn metal beneath us as that too-familiar dread locked around my chest, breaths carefully shallow, silent, lest even that somehow worsen whatever offence I’d already made. But he said nothing in the long seconds that followed, and, hesitantly, I stole a timid glance at him. His brow was cocked, but, still, he made no effort to lash out or reprimand me, merely waited for me to finally grasp his point, and my heart dropped.

“No - I’m sorry; it’s not…” The flurry of excuses tangled over my lips, the beginnings of a tremble just beginning to creep over me. “I’m not… I’m not afraid of you, I’m just… trying to stay out of the way.” I assured him, but he merely rolled his toothpick to the other side of his mouth, those frightfully intense eyes burring into me.

“You practically flatten yourself against the wall when we walk too close to you. You stopped eating the yellow ration bars after Wrecker mentioned they’re Hunter’s favorite, even though they’re your favorite, too. I don’t think you’ve ever instigated a single conversation unless it was to update a report, and even then you act like…” His teeth ground together, words suddenly falling silent. I’d felt myself sinking beneath every wretched observation, shoulders bunching around me, expression carefully blank; waiting.

“Look, I’m not…” When I risked another fleeting look up to him, I was shocked to see his glare turned pointedly away from me, jaw shifting stiffly around unspoken words. “You don’t need to… hide every time we’re in the same room.” The discomfort in the softness he was trying to force into his voice was obvious, but the simple fact that he was making an attempt left me speechless.

“Kriff, I don’t even know what I said that made you so damn timid.” A touch of that impatience returned, fingers snatching the toothpick from his lips, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me, and that made the guilt stirring in my chest all the more prominent.

“It… it wasn’t…” My hands drew together in front of me, thumb absently picking at my nails. “My-my last crew was… pretty strict with me.” I barely breathed the excuse, unable to risk meeting his eyes. “I just… I didn’t want to cause trouble here, too.” He leaned absently against the back of the co-pilot chair, watching me with a silence that left my skin crawling.

“You realize we share living space with Wrecker?” The skepticism in his blank statement wrenched a burst of laughter from me before I could rein it back, teeth clicking together even as my lips still pulled up into a small smile. For the briefest moment, something like relief seemed to flash through his eyes, and a sliver of that tension slipped from my shoulders.

“We’re not regs.” He continued dismissively. “Whatever osik they pulled with you isn’t how we operate here.”

“It wasn’t regs.” I felt myself tense for some reprimand in the face of my quiet correction, but he didn’t move, gaze watching me silently; waiting. “I was assigned to a mercenary battalion before this.” His head tilted back slightly, eyes narrowing. “That’s part of the reason I ended up here: I requested an assignment with a clone squad, but the regs don’t usually work with freelancers, so…” I motioned subtly toward him, shoulders drawing tight into my chest.

Crosshair was silent for a long moment, expression painfully unchanged. My mind raced for some way to anticipate what he was thinking – was he annoyed to learn the reason I’d ended up with them? Was he enraged that I feared the same treatment from his brothers that I’d received from the mercs? Was he completely indifferent?

Movements unrushed, void of the impatience I’d expected, he retrieved his helmet and started toward the ladder.

“Gonna do a patrol.” He explained, slipping on the bucket. “I’ll let you know when I’m back.” I couldn’t begin to fight the shock from my eyes, the silent gasp from my lips, immediately aware of his unspoken offer: he was giving me space; allowing me a moment to collect myself in the comfort of isolation… and I didn’t have to fret over not realizing when he returned…

“You should sing more often – Echo and Wrecker like that sort of thing.” Again, I found myself utterly frozen, jaw shifting uselessly around words I couldn’t begin to form, but he didn’t wait for a response. With a few swift movements, he was gone.

Things changed after that. Not with any grand or outwardly notable gestures, but it seemed to shift the very dynamic of the squad in the most subtle ways. It started with caf.

It was hardly unusual for the sniper to be the last to force himself into the kitchenette to join us, jaw ground against the early morning grogginess. I was just finishing the breakfast scramble as he trudged to the caf machine. Without a word, he set a steaming cup on the counter beside me before taking a seat with his brothers. I stared blankly at it for a moment, only then realizing that I’d fallen into the habit of waiting for the others to get their own cups before getting some for myself. When I stole a brief glance toward him, he showed no indication that he’d done anything abnormal, head tilted back against his chair with his eyes closed as though he might steal even a few seconds’ more sleep.

Then it was the arguing. Echo and Tech’s banter rarely escalated, but when it did, neither were innocent of resorting to shouting on occasion. I couldn’t remember what had prompted the latest disagreement, but their voices boomed throughout the entirety of the Marauder until even Hunter stepped in in a futile attempt to silence them. I’d made the mistake of treading into the cockpit just as things between them began to grow heated intending to merely return Echo’s power calibrator and quickly found myself frozen in the corner, waiting for a safe moment that wasn’t soon to come.

Long after the Sergeant had joined the fray, succeeding only in adding to the chaotic flurry of raised voices, Crosshair stormed down the ladder, brows pinched and lips wrenched into a scowl, but then he saw me, sharp eyes instantly noting the tool clutched in my grasp. Ignoring his brothers, he merely held his hand out to me, motioning for the device. I tried not to let him see the slight tremor in my limbs as I hesitantly placed it in his waiting palm. Saying nothing, he merely nodded toward the ladder. I was halfway through the porthole when I heard the loud thud followed by a shocked cry of pain, and, in the next breath: silence.

That was the last time any of them got into a shouting fit like that around me. Twice, just as tensions were beginning to rise, Hunter went so far as to conveniently find a reason to summon me. It didn’t take long to realize he’d caught on and was too willing to use my presence as an indirect means of quelling tempers. The second time, he shot me a knowing wink, and I found myself biting my lips against the fit of quiet laughter.

When we found a rare moment of calm, Crosshair pressed things a bit further. A fire crackled in the stillness. We didn’t have to return to Kamino for a few days, so we made camp beside a small lake, secluded in a forgiving wilderness. I barely noticed the lithe man lean toward Wrecker, lips shifting almost silently, but then his brother’s eyes shot open, excitement lighting his face.

“You can sing?!” My heart dropped, body instantly going stiff.

“…uh…” Caught, I could only stare at him in shock, gaze darting briefly to see the subtle smirk on the Sniper’s lips before the towering clone was talking once more, pleading.

“Will you sing somethin’?! We hardly ever get to hear music!” The refusal clawed at my throat, aghast at even the thought of denying the innocent delight in his request.

“Wrecker.” The warning in Hunter’s voice was enough to dampen the large man’s glee, and I found myself distraught to see his smile fade.

“M… maybe just one.” I agreed nervously, and the thrilled gasp it earned was nearly enough to ease the frantic racing of my heart. Echo and Tech glanced up curiously, and I had to pointedly ignore the feeling of everyone’s eyes watching me.

The first words left in something nearer to a whisper than a melody, but the hint of pride just threatening to shine in Crosshair’s gaze emboldened me in a way I would never have expected. By the second verse, I left the lyrics dance over my lips. My cheeks were still flushed, blood still pounding through my ears, but I couldn’t dismiss the simple joy as I took in the wonder in Wrecker’s face, Hunter’s quiet smile, Tech’s datapad lying forgotten beside him.

In the days that followed, I’d caught most of them occasionally humming the tune, and, more than once, found myself joining them with a shy grin.

That innate need to tuck into the wall as we passed each other slowly began to fade, but the next few times it happened with Crosshair, he wordlessly touched his hand to my arm and guided me upright. It was never a quick movement, the gentle pressure an invitation instead of an order, and each time, I found my heart racing long after he’d left.

After several weeks of those quiet moments, I intentionally bumped his shoulder with mine in a moment of frightful bravery. The look of pure shock in his suddenly wide eyes nearly sent me fleeing, certain I’d made a terrible mistake, but then his lips curled into grin, breath catching in a silent chuckle. His hand reached up to carefully ruffle my hair before he continued on his way.

It wasn’t perfect. I still found myself unable to find my voice unless someone else spoke first; felt that panicked dread if I set something down too loudly or made simple mistakes, but that fear faded quicker, my responses felt a little less meek as they drew me into quiet conversations more often. It wasn’t perfect, but the patience and kindness they offered allowed me to take those first steps toward making it better.

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#star wars #tbb #the bad batch #star wars tech #star wars wrecker #tbb tech #tbb wrecker #tbb oc #my writings #star wars fanfic #first person reader #tbb echo #tbb hunter #tbb crosshair #emotional abuse #recover #soft cross #gender neutral post #gender neutral reader

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eelfuneral · 9 months

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I know I seem to be writing a lot about my issues with certain aspects of how the Jedi were written lately, but I will say that I do like them over all—especially when we look at individual Jedi characters. What has been prompting my flurry of dissection of the less than nice aspects of the Jedi as an organization has been seeing a number of really uncomfortable arguments in their favor. I’m going to elaborate on this, but I’m putting it below a cut and tagging it as “jedi critical” so you can avoid it if it’s not your thing. So here is a list of fandom Jedi takes that I don’t love:

1. The insistence that the Jedi having a repressive view of emotions is nothing more than a fanon myth. Star Wars canon isn’t terribly consistent: it has a number of different writers and George Lucas is famously indecisive about his beliefs regarding canon. As a result, you have a hodgepodge of differing portrayals of Jedi, but the one that people are most familiar with is the one from the sequel and prequel trilogies. While it can be argued that the Jedi are more about controlling how you react to your emotions and avoiding harming people, especially if you look beyond the films and at other canon material, the first six films don’t do a great job of portraying the Jedi in that way. When Yoda himself has multiple lines about how certain emotions (not reactions to them, but emotions by themselves) are of the Dark Side, can you really blame people for coming to this conclusion? The same goes for the idea that they don’t *really* forbid romantic love. When you have a whole subplot involving a prominent Jedi Knight having to hide a romantic relationship or face expulsion from the Order for having a romantic relationship in any capacity, then this argument doesn’t hold a lot of water. A rule stating that “romantic partner = automatic expulsion” does not line up with the idea that Jedi only ban possessive love.

2. Having any sympathy for Anakin Skywalker means you think that he’s never done anything wrong ever. I acknowledge that rabid Anakin stans who bash every other character to prop him up are very much a thing, but I don’t believe that we need to shut down every discussion of Anakin that doesn’t paint him as an ungrateful brat who needed to stop having so many damned emotions. Anakin was intentionally written as a sympathetic antihero and later a sympathetic villain. People picking up on the sadder elements of his life and the times where he maybe didn’t get everything he needed from the Jedi Order are sniffing out intentionally placed story nuggets that are designed to make his betrayal of everyone he loved in ROTS that much harder to watch. Also, acknowledging that the Order may not have been a great fit for Anakin isn’t the same as saying that it was somehow abusive or evil. No organization, real or fictional, can meet the needs of every single person. Anakin was certainly loved and cared about in the Jedi Order, but his personality and trauma arguably made him incompatible with their lifestyle.

3. The weird vitriol at the idea of Gray Jedi. Gray Jedi were very much a thing in the legends continuity and have been a fanon staple for literal decades. A lot of people aren’t fond of this concept, because they feel that it misrepresents how the force works, particularly in current canon. That’s perfectly fine, but acting like this type of Jedi was never, ever a part of canon is silly. Insisting that it’s a cardinal sin to depict a Gray Jedi in fanworks, which exist specifically to be a free-for-all that may not be canon compliant, is just mean. You didn’t have to like every fanwork or concept, but you cannot control what other people create for fun.

4. Outright denial that the clones are enslaved by the Republic. Clones are described as “property” and “equipment”. The Republic BUYS them. They do not have a choice but to go to war and don’t seem to be paid much, if at all. When a group of people are owned, bought, and sold, they are slaves by definition. I understand that the Jedi were dealt a bad hand and weren’t in a great position to do much about the situation, but I and a lot of other people would have loved to see more instances of Jedi advocating for clone citizenship and freedom. People noticing that the Jedi could have done more for the clones are not stating that they think the Jedi were 100% okay with the situation, and it is entirely possible to acknowledge the deep Jedi/clone friendships that we see in canon while acknowledging what the Republic was doing to the clones. Justifications of the clones’ enslavement mentioning that they liked being soldiers (they didn’t know anything different) or were treated well by the Jedi (Pong Krell existed, and they were still owned by the Republic) make me very uneasy. If your defense of your blorbos reads like Neo-Confederate chattel slavery apologia retrofitted to be about pretend space people, then maybe it’s time to do a little bit of self-reflection.

5. Ableism. When you throw takes like “if the Jedi philosophy regarding emotions is so hard for you, then you are a baby or a sociopath” into the tumblrsphere, they are always going to fall and hit people with disabilities that cause emotional regulation issues. The line between stating that people should not use emotions as an excuse to harm others and outright attacking people for having intense emotions in general is one that I have seen crossed, shat on, and lit on fire in defense of the Jedi.

6. Equating criticism of the Jedi to real-wold prejudice. Saying that criticizing the Jedi is the same as being antisemitic or homophobic is uncalled for. Queer and Jewish people exist in the real world, and pretend space wizards do not. Comparisons like this are insulting because they put real-world prejudice and fandom wank over space wizards on the same level. Do better.

#jedi critical #okay #really this is more fandom critical #fandom wank

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oathofkaslana · 15 days

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collei iceberg EXPLAINED???????

plants: "sprout of rebirth" indicative of her continuous growth and healing. seen in both the metaphors that always liken her to a plant, her dendro vision, her being the first sumeru character we ever meet, her birthday being in spring etc. also feeds into the symbolism that fire means for her.

water: imagery of collei drowning often used as a representation of collei having a panic attack or anxiety attack, water is associated with healing, water is a necessity for plants, collei gaining her vision in the rain.

fire: the archon residue is described as a being made of black/purple fire, amber (the most important person in her life) has a pyro vision and is constantly being described as someone warm, she was able to leave the fatui's base she was kept in because it burned down. fire is both a necessity for life (warmth, representative of the sun, forest fires bringing way for new sprouts) and a destructive force (i dont have to give examples for this do i). to collei, it's indicative of change.

sun: okay stay with me. plants need the sun to grow; amber is compared to being "as warm as the sun" in collei's character story; one of cyno's motifs is the eye of ra, which relates to the sun; in the sealing ritual he performs, collei stands in the center of a large sun symbol; the ritual was intentionally performed in the morning because it was when the archon residue was weakest; theres a hidden quest in collei's hut that involves bringing a plant of hers outside so it can get sunlight; the sun is an important symbol for life. the sun represents collei's "rebirth"

rebirth: oh rebirth metaphor the things you have done for me.. obviously sprout of rebirth; her alias in the genius invokation event being "revived serval"; cyno, the person who led the sealing ritual, being inspired by anubis, the guide of the dead; "cats have nine lives" idiom; ouroboros; the archon residue being from a dead archon; the box she was put in during the wt being shaped like a coffin; sumeru's continuous theme of rebirth (ex: nahida & rukkhadevata, dottore & his clones, scaramouche & wanderer, the aranaras, even the caribert archon quest). note that the connections back to sumeru are pivotal bc again, collei is the first sumeru character we meet.

mummy: relevant to the cyno thing but deserves its own bullet point. collei's wraps being undone after the ritual (her point of rebirth); anubis being an overseer of funerary rites including the mummification process; i have to emphasize again that anubis is the guide of the dead this is literally cyno leading collei out of death do you see i feel sick

cats and snake: collei was drawn as a cat in the wt, her constellation is a serval (a kind of cat), the doll she has to represent herself is a green cat. in contrast, the archon residue is represented by a snake. cats and snakes are natural enemies. see above w the "cats have nine lives" idiom and the ouroboros. also relevant to the ouroboros: the archon residue actively fed off of collei's negative thoughts and would thus feed it and her hatred. at the same time, it was often her only means of defense even thought she hated using it because it was something her abuser gave to her. the archon residue both protected her and harmed her.

green and purple: complementary colors; the colors of her hair and eyes, the color of cuilein-anbar and the archon residue; in video games, green is often representative of healing and purple is often representative of poison and harm, wt collei often being cast in purple shadows because of her white clothes vs in game collei who is drenched in green.

dolls and plays: cuilien-anbar being a doll representative of collei; collei having a baron bunny doll in her home; dolls being a childhood toy that lets kids play the roles of others and themselves; her fight with kaeya runs under this play metaphor (which sets them up as narrative parallels btw bc its also a consistent metaphor w kaeya); all of these components coming together when you remember in-game collei has been playing the role of amber and wt collei has been playing the role of the suspect/villain. DO YOU FUCKING SEE.

writing: also relevant to the latter but it puts collei outside of the story, giving her control over her own story rather than being a character in someone else's story. shown in her healing running alongside her learning how to write and her interest in light novels.

clothes/sewing: this one kills me again stay with me okok. when we first meet collei she doesnt even have a shirt. she only has pants, a cloak, a hat, and a bunch of bandages wrapped around her body. amber gives her a set of clothes to wear. when she tears these clothes, she makes an active effort to sew them up and repair them. her interest in sewing also leads to her making cuilien-anbar btw. if you even care.

medicine/healthcare: tighnari and dottore both being doctors of some sort, dendro being representative of healing, her being how we even learn about eleazar, the link between archon residue and health (extends in baizhu's story quest. yk. baizhu the fucking doctor)

#gi #i forgot to do this sooner fuck.#collei #copy and pasting this from what i wrote in a hoyowomentournament match o7

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fanfic-obsessed · 2 years

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Removed

This one will wind to some dark places, and I am not sure it will get better yet. Also Jango Fett is not such a good person in this. Frankly, neither is Qui Gon Jinn.

We start on Melida/Daan. Obi Wan has been with them for nearly a year and The Young are winning, pushing for their peace. The Elders are approached by the Sith (Plagius or Sidious, it matters little) with an offer to pay to be allowed to take The Young. The Elders agree and the Young, Obi Wan included, are removed from the planet. For their trouble, the Elder are paid with enough weaponry that they wipe the planet of any life within five years. Many of the children have a mild force sensitivity that seems to behave strangely around Obi Wan.

Most are used for experiments, including Obi Wan. Some are used to further Mauls training in the dark side of the force. Maul…hates these pitiful souls less than he does most. He still does every horrible, vile thing that his Master requires but does not go out of his way to cause pain and offers the compassion of a quick death to the ones he can. He even speaks to the subject in between experiments and feels something like a kinship with them.

For ten years Obi Wan and the rest of the Young are experimented on and tortured in every manner imaginable. Most have died in agony and the ones that live consider the dead the lucky ones. To the fascination of the Sith Masters not a single one of the force sensitive children have reached for the dark. It is almost like they are incapable of it.

When it comes time for Jango Fett to become the template for the clones, he is also given Obi Wan Kenobi as stress relief. As this Jango has no want for sex, this means being an outlet for his anger, a punching bag. At Jango Fett’s insistence force suppressing cuffs and a force suppressing collar are sealed (welded) onto Obi Wan. This leaves him entirely unable to actively use the Force but Sith experimentation has left a passive ability to heal from almost anything. In this situation this is not actually a positive. (Another side effect no one can figure out, he stayed looking 16 until Cody's batch reached that age, then proceeded to age along with them). At the time that Obi Wan was gifted to Jango Fett, 5 of The Young, other than Obi Wan, still live. He is pulled from them, knowing that he will never be allowed to ask after them.

Jango Fett is only given a single qualifier as to what he can use Obi Wan for: If he kills Obi Wan, they will not replace him.

On Kamino he is an anachronism. When not acting as Jango Fett’s punching bag he drifts through the halls, speaking rarely to the non clones. Several of the trainers watch him with a strange twist of guilt on their faces. They watch the bruises that are so consistent in size and shape that it looks like a patch of purple, black, and green moving across his skin over time. They take in the perennially blistered and infected skin around the collar and cuffs. They see this and say nothing.

For the clones it is both different and the same. They grow up knowing that this Obi Wan was no more free than they were. No matter the circumstances of his birth, he was a brother. To be protected when they could. He held their secrets, their fears. He was the primary source of compassion in their lives. He protects them when he can and they never begrudge the times where he can’t (When he finds out about Priest’s fight club, he vanishes into Jango Fett’s apartment. No one knows what was said or done but when they emerge, Janog Fett is willing to exert himself to end the Fight Club and Priest’s other abuses. Obi Wan limps behind him with 20 meticulously broken bones in his right foot).

In this universe, as a last act of pettiness, Qui Gon Jinn takes Bruck Chun as a padawan a year after he leaves Obi Wan on Melida/Daan. His attention inadvertently prevented Xanatos from getting into Brucks head. They are a middling pair. Both are just a touch too arrogant to truly work well with others and they do tend to echo each other's worst traits but it is subtle enough that Bruck makes it successfully to knighthood a year before the Naboo crisis. Jinn still finds Anakin on Tatooine, still wins his freedom and brings him back to the temple. Though he had been unaccompanied at the start of the mission, his report means that three other knights ended up on Naboo with him. With this extra manpower Darth Maul is taken alive, to be locked in a cell in the Jedi temple. Qui Gon Jinn lives to take on Anakin’s training.

This Anakin is not as confident in his abilities. No matter what he does, he always gets the sense that Jinn expected better. By the same token Jinn is not too young and grieving, not overwhelmed with sudden responsibility. Palpatine cannot get the same hold he had on Anakin in another life.

It is Anakin that finds Kamino in this life. Jinn clocked his crush on Padme and decided he did not want them alone together (Less chance of the Chosen One deciding to leave). The clones, believing that Obi Wan had been given to Jango Fett by the Jedi (Something that Obi Wan can’t quite dispute), hide him from Anakin. After Fett’s death, they feared that Obi Wan would be taken away. So they decide to hide him in the 212th with Cody.

The two had been inseparable for years now, soulmates though neither thinks the term (In my head this is a queerplatonic relationship, in part due to the trauma they both have undergone). In fact, in this world Cody’s scar is deliberate, something that he (along with Fox and Ponds) devised to ensure that no matter how disoriented or afraid, Obi Wan would never see Cody as Jango Fett (His ability to tell the clones apart is not based in the Force, due to the cuffs. That does not stop Obi Wan from being able to tell each clone apart, no matter what).

And so to the 212th, under General Qui Gon Jinn and his Padawan Commander Anakin Skywalker, goes a trooper named Shield (for Obi Wan has always been their shield). The clones do not, can not, trust the Jedi. They almost never remove their helmets in this world, save for when they were safely in the barracks so that Shield could move around freely. The Jedi could not sense him, due to the force suppressing cuffs and collars.

If we were to go with the cliches, Obi Wan would be revealed by accident in the most dramatic way possible.

This is not what happened. The clones know that Obi Wan hiding as Shield is not a long term solution and the medics would really like permission to remove, along with help removing, the Force suppressors.

8 months into the war, Plo Koon earns the full trust of the clones. With Obi Wan’s permission Wolffe approaches his general to tell him and abbreviated version of what was going on (a non clone who was living as a trooper, he had been on Kamino as Jango Fett’s punching bag, they want him to become an official member of the GAR so that he doesn’t need to hide any more).

Jedi Master Plo Koon is faintly horrified by even the vague details and agrees to meet with trooper Shield. When he asks about having Qui Gon at the meeting, Wolffe twitches. All the clones know who General Jinn is to Obi Wan, so they trust him even less than most Jedi. Jinn is not cruel to the Clones, but he treats them as he does most people he interacts with (Jinn cares little for the practicalities of their lives, so long as they continue to act in the way he expects. Thus he will call them by a preferred name if they request it but never asks for their names). The next time the battalions meet, Cody and Shield meet privately with Wolffe and Plo Koon.

Shield removes his helmet; gaunt faced, red haired, and clean shaven (Having never grown a beard due to some mix of injuries and the Sith experiments). Plo thinks he looks familiar and Obi Wan bows respectfully. Plo gently begins to ask for information. Obi wan gives his name, but it still takes Plo a number of minutes to realize who he is talking to (In his defense it had been more than 20 years and Obi Wan is not the only youngling that has decided to leave the Order). Even after Plo realizes who Obi Wan is, they talk at cross purposes for several minutes. Plo Koon, of course, was under the impression that Obi Wan left the order to be with a girl two decades before. Obi wan believes he was rightfully abandoned for endangering Master Tahl, and cannot quite disbelieve the idea that it was the Jedi, or some Jedi, that gave him to Jango Fett.

As soon as Plo begins to gently question how Obi Wan ended up where he was, it became clear to the Kel Dor that information that was given to the High council twenty years before was at best wrong, at worst an outright lie. He is horrified to see the mass of scar tissue and metal on Obi Wan’s neck and wrists and vows to help get it removed (Due to the burns and infection from when it was welded on and Obi Wan’s extraordinary ability to heal, flesh had grown over the edges of the metal), which would need to be done by the Temple Healers. He is heartbroken to realize what the clones, and Obi Wan, believe about how Obi Wan ended up on Kamino. At the end he asks Obi Wan what he wants, going forward.

Obi Wan thinks for a moment, “To stay with Cody or, barring that, to stay with the clones in general. If possible, find out how the rest of The Young died and maybe be able to give them some kind of burial. If their remains can be found, that is.”

After the campaign, Plo conspires to have the 212th and the 104th recalled back to Coruscant. There he could have Obi Wan meet with the council in person. Coincidentally Bruck Chun, with his commander Alpha-17, are also on Coruscant. Knowing that having troopers appear before the council without their associated Jedi would raise many eyebrows, Plo has Qui Gon Jinn, Anakin Skywalker, and Bruck Chun called to the Council with order to bring Commander Cody, Commander Alpha-17 (since Obi had indicated having Alpha there would make him feel better), and trooper Shield with them. Wolffe waits with them while Plo briefs the Council. The Jedi in the waiting room are curious and confused as to why this one specific trooper (Shield/Obi Wan) has been called in and why all of the present clones seem to be hovering protectively.

They are called into the Council Chamber. Plo has told them very little (What Wolffe had told him plus that the non clone in question had been temple raised and was currently in Force Suppressing cuffs). In part he wants to see if the others will come to the same conclusions that he did. In part because while he doesn’t believe that any Jedi would have done what the clones think they did, he needs to be sure (and seeing their reaction to Obi Wan and his story first hand was the only way he could be).

When Shield removes his helmet, the only person who recognizes him immediately is Bruck Chun, who blurts out “Oafy-Wan?” and then is horribly embarrassed about it (At 13 he had been a bully, but he had grown into a decent adult, particularly since he was fighting a war, and is embarrassed that his first thought when seeing the other man was the insulting nickname from two decades before). The clones are not impressed with Bruck Chuns reaction (Alpha is growling outright at his general). Before Bruck could apologize, Yoda said Obi Wan’s name.

Obi Wan nods agreeably and says that is a name he has been called. A question about the Force suppressing cuffs and collar (still covered by his blacks), has Obi Wan answering “Jango Fett insisted that I be unable to use the Force when I was given to him.” (Whenever he speaks of Jango, it is alway ‘Jango Fett’). It also becomes clear to the high council, Bruck Chun, and Anakin (though the latter has no idea of the backstory) very quickly that Qui Gon Jinn had lied to the council about how and why Obi Wan left the Order.

Every question that is asked of him seems to have a horrifying answer. When asked about The Young, he explains about the group of children trying to stop a war (the youngest was 5, the oldest 14 when he joined). The High Council grows very quiet as he speaks, this was not what they were told. Qui Gon Jinn shifts a little as a twenty year old lie is exposed, particularly as he is given a look from various members of the council that say they will be discussing this, soon. Mace asks why Obi Wan is so sure the Young are dead (as finding out how they died is one of the horrifically few things that Obi Wan is asking for). Obi Wan is silent for a moment then responds that he doesn’t for sure, but it has been 10 years and he hopes that the rest of the Young had found something like peace and that death was the most realistic way of that happening. He is asked why Obi Wan never tried to contact the Order during his year on Melida/Daan. He clones bristles at even the suggestion that their Shield was in any way responsible.

Obi Wan gave a semi confused look and said “My comm unit, like my lightsaber, belonged to the Jedi Order. How would I have done that?”

This was news to most of the Jedi present (Neither the comm or the light saber should have been taken). With the exception of Qui Gon Jinn (who admits that he should not have lied to the council but doesn’t think he did anything else wrong), Obi Wan (who has a skewed vision of how he should be treated), and the clones (who know this entire story and have moved onto anger) the entire room is abjectly horrified to realize that Jinn had abandoned Obi Wan in a war zone, weaponless, and with no way to call for help (Plo Koon in particular is halfway to breaking out the adoption paperwork for the entire GAR most of the time anyway, right now he is practically vibrating with the need to get them all away from a war).

Mace Windu brings the room back to order. He declares that the council needs to speak with Master Jinn (and the way that he said Qui Gon’s name indicated that the Master in the title might be temporary). He asks Bruck and Anakin to escort the clones (with Obi Wan) to the healers so they could begin to get the cuffs and collar off. It is up to Obi Wan if he wants to wear his helmet until he reaches the healing hall or not. The council could not guarantee out of hand that Obi Wan would be allowed to stay with Cody, but they would do everything in their power to make sure it happened.

Just before they leave, Obi Wan bites his lip and visibly struggles with something he wants to say. When prompted he explains that he has (over the course of his time on Kamino) seen virtually every step in the growth and decanting process for the clones. Every step except one, where he believes that something is embedded in the brains of each clone. He doesn’t know what it is or what it does, but he asks that the Jedi Council investigate since he is afraid it is something that will hurt the clones.

The walk to the healers was tense. Bruck and Anakin were both trying to silently work through what had just happened. It is a bit sad that neither are surprised at Jinn's actions. Vokara Che and Bant Eerin are the ones that meet them. Bant is angry with Obi Wan (because from her perspective he just left 20 years ago and never contacted her or their other friends again) but Bruck of all people stop her from saying anything hurtful by telling her there is more to it than she realizes.

Once they have all piled into a private room, Healer Che asks Obi Wan to take off his armor (No there was no good reason that the various hangers on were allowed to be there, they just kind of kept following and no one said anything about it). Obi Wan requests that the head medic for the 212th be called down, as he has been the most involved with treating his injuries and so would be able to answer questions better. Cody helps Obi Wan remove his armor (The cuffs affect the way that his wrists bend, making it harder to put on or remove certain pieces of the armor).

When his top comes off, all movement in the room ceases. The skin of his torso is a patchwork of green and brown (the bruising he received over the past 10 years was so regular and deep that even 8 months after Jango Fett died they were still healing. The only reason that he did not have actual nerve damage was his healing abilities). While the Jedi in the room can barely react under the horror of what they were seeing, Alpha looks at the patchwork, pleased. He comments that it all looks to be healing well.

Under the bruises were a map of scars, telling a horrifying tale. The worst of which sat on each wrist and the base of his throat, metal digging into flesh and embedded in thick uneven scaring (A note on Obi Wan’s healing, as long as he lives he will heal. Things that should have become debilitating, life changing injuries heal into simple scars. Things that should have killed him because of infection do not. It does not speed up his healing, and though it takes much more he still bears scars).

When he is asked he tells them that the metal cuffs had been welded onto him. And yes he felt every minute of the metal being superheated. Obi Wan would prefer to remain awake when the metal is removed (no they would not have to worry about him flinching because “Jango Fett did not like it when I flinched from the pain he wanted to inflict”). By the time he has won that argument, the 212th's head medic, Hypo, has arrived.

The process of removing each metal band takes 3 Jedi healers working in tandem and hours of painstaking, deeply disturbing work. They save the collar for last. As the last piece of metal was pulled from his flesh, Obi Wan inhaled sharply.

“Three of the Young are still alive” he breathes, even as he doesn’t move.

Cody, who had been sitting carefully with Obi Wan, grips his hand. “Then we will help you find your family.” He promises.

In a Cell in the lower levels of the Temple, Darth Maul perks up as he feels a familiar Force Presence. He calls attention to a guard and demands to see Obi Wan Kenobi. The guards do not know who this is but pass along his request to the high council, who are a bit confused.

I am not sure where exactly it would go from here. I would kind of want to see the 212th being handed over to Obi Wan, though I am not sure how it would be justified. I figure that the first time that Obi Wan meets the Chancellor he has a bad reaction (Due to the Chancellor being one of the people that had experimented on them) but is able to hide it, and passes along his suspicions. They do eventually find the three other surviving Young (Nield, Cerasi, Roenni) as well as children that they (and various other members of the Young over time) had been forced to have, there was even a child who had been fathered by Obi Wan (Who does not remember this and is deeply unhappy with those facts) who have all also been experimented on.

#fanfic #star wars the clone wars #star wars legends #melida/daan #medical inaccuracies #mentions of torture #mentions of abuse #mentions of violence #codywan #bruck chun #anakin skywalker #qui gon jinn #star wars au #fanfiction prompt #star wars #obi wan kenobi

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raz0rvampire · 3 months

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Deimos Ramble

This is all my personal viewing of Deimos, most obviously this is 99% fanon, but I just personally want to talk about my view of the character Deimos from Madness Combat! :3

TW: Abuse/Abusive relationships, toxicity

A/N>>>The beginning is mainly about 2bmos because i wrote most of this to my best friend to ramble, but it'll eventually go into deimos's stuff. <<<

Doc and Deimos are those two that hooks up regularly without any commitment because they think they're "too busy to actually commit" while they're focused on fighting against AAHW. There really isn't a purpose to it in the beginning, as it's just a form of pleasure/ways to distract themselves from constant violence. but slowly 2bdamned starts actually wanting to do more things and it kind of jump scares Deimos because Deimos doesn't wants Doc to ACTUALLY having to deal with his genuine self rather than the casual fuck and go. All he's seen so far is a hook up partner, and the hacker out in the field. So, doc is just hanging out around him consistently on the average with no sexual undertones and Deimos is getting mixed signals and eventually he kind of explodes on doc eventually.

I do believe Deimos was abusive towards 2b in the beginning of their relationship. not physically but very mentally and emotionally. This is not an excuse for Deimos treating Doc like shit, it is just very real because in context that his only relationships were- Wasted/Exploited Clone to his brother and then turned into simply being co-workers (mercenaries and assassins). With that, there has never been a proper, emotionally connected relationship in his entire existence.

also yes I do head canon that Deimos is very manipulative and CAN become abusive, he is incredibly flawed from the other characters if you think about it (Other than Hank J Wimbleton.) I mean, he worked as an agent in the AAHW where he was treated a scientific experiment under his brother's power so because of that he expresses the same thing as Phobos. He's used to that power hungry enviroment, that the only way to survive is through expressing control over any situation given. I think slowly throughout time of the series, he becomes that "Goofy" guy but I think in the beginning, it was actually more sadistic than humorous

His only exposure in existence EVER was violence, abuse of power/emotions/and even substances. LIKE, EVER EVER. QUITE LITERALLY. Hank, Doc, and Sanford ALL had exposures to "normal" things. Even though Hank fucked it all up (and is kind of fucked up in general), but he still had those normal experiences because he was already an adult when everything went down in the MC universe. Doc also had that same sort of thing, he's also (although not licensed, but maybe in the past?) very intelligent emotionally and intellectually, he gave in to the thought of dissenting by his own choice, knowing he had one. ANNNDD Sanford had a mother as well (Funny enough in a universe where 'women dont exist/hj') and is seen to express care/connections to all of the rest of the characters through multiple interactions. (Probably a trait from being raised by a loving mother.)

DEIMOS'S ENTIRE EXISTENCE WAS BEING A CLONE FOR THE PURPOSE OF BEING EXTERMINATED IN THE NAME OF KILLING HANK J WIMBLETON. While also sort of being a clone trophy for Phobos.

I LOVE the found family that the main four have turned into, I absolutely adore it, but I personally do not believe that is how they STARTED out. I feel like the tension, especially when Deimos came into the picture, was very very intense.

He's not exactly repressed to his feelings of anger, and in fact, I think he's very used to EXPRESSING those violent and abusive tendencies to his fellow agents I mean, although he was abused, neglected, and exploited he had a higher sort of standing because of being related to Phobos, so he's also experienced in having a controlling role over others. I also think Sanford and Deimos would also have a really hard time (platonically, since this in terms of 2bmos) Deimos would be very controlling of their missions and rushes a lot, and would end up twisting a lot of the things on the way he feels about what happened, rather than actually focusing on it's entirety of what happened. He's so used to expressing his side and controlling the narrative for his benefits.

I feel like we miss this whole chance of Deimos being a very flawed character from his past environment. The chances of writing this character learning through a whole development arc by people who can show him genuine care and the idea of selflessness and ability to develop past who he was is so good. There's no possible way that Deimos was just "so lucky to be a good person amongst all the bad!" NOO!! MAKE HIM FLAWED!! MAKE HIM A BAD PERSON WHO DEVELOPS THE FORM AND LESSON OF SELFLESSNESS IN A SAFE ENVIROMENT!!

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my idea for Deimos! If anyone has anything to add, that'll be great!

VV my deimos playlist

#Madness combat #Madcom #madness combat project nexus #madness project nexus #Deimos #deimos mc #mc deimos #Mc deimos #Character study #hank j wimbleton #2bdamned #Sanford #mpn2 #Spotify

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lolotheparagon · 5 months

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So you're an MLP expert, right? What do you think is each generations biggest failing?

G1: I like the idea of Megan being the one human ally the ponies look up to, but Megan’s little sister and brother are completely superfluous. Also the baby ponies (who are like the CMC of this generation) are literally just tiny clones of their mothers right down to their colour schemes and names. These writers have a very warped idea on what children are. Also the ponies outside of a select few are very bland and underdeveloped. Although this was the Reagan era of toy-mandated cartoons. Transformers G1 had this exact problem.

G2: You can tell this was written in the 90s cos all the boy ponies in this show (who are meant to be the girl ponies’ love interests btw) are assholes. Even the most decent one, Lancer only sides with the girls to impress his crush. The girls had way more chemistry with each other than with any of the boys. It’s not like girls in the 90s weren’t on board with gay characters. The girls watching this show were binge watching Sailor Rangers and Revolutionary Girl Uterus. They would’ve love sapphic ponies. Also they flanderised Patch, a tomboy who can study and read very well when she puts her mind to it, to the point where she can’t read a sign. Wow…

G3: Again there wasn’t a consistent main cast as characters came and went but I give slack since G3 was a toy line first, series after. All the characters had the same hairstyle and body type and it’s only the colour schemes and voice acting that tell them apart. The animation is a bit restrictive but that’s a nitpick. Also THEY CLIPPED STAR CATCHER YOU BASTARDS.

G3.5: My only problem is that it didn’t last long enough. Seriously I want like 4 seasons of G3.5

G4: Teaching terrible lessons to children like forgiving abusers/tyrants or treating friendship like it’s a vague religion. Also the show became egregious in its fanpandering to the bronies

G5: Haven’t watched it outside of the pilot movie but the show clings onto G4’s characters and setting instead of being it’s own thing

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queen--kenobi · 2 years

Text

Candy Girl Chapter One: New Beginnings

Story summary: You’re a regular jaded intern working towards a job in the Senate until one day, you lose the job to someone who couldn’t be less qualified. In search of a new job, you find a specific program catering to clones. It’s more of an escort program than anything else, but that’s fine by you. What they didn’t tell you is the job would lead to love, loss, and uncovering the truly dark city of Coruscant.

Chapter summary: It’s a brand new day on Coruscant. A brand new day means new ways to get screwed over until you decided enough is enough and to take matters in your own hands.

Author’s note: The rewrite is here! And by rewrite I essentially mean overhaul because wow. I changed way more than I thought I was going to when I started this. I think this updated version is tighter and better. I’m hoping y’all enjoy this as much as you did the original! I’ll be taking down the original in about a week, so you have until then to read it and come back to this one

Also big thank you to @galacticgraffiti for beta’ing this!

Warnings: Referenced abusive workplace dynamics The reader doesn’t see it/it doesn’t occur to them, but it does happen.

Coruscant is fairly quiet.

It's not utterly silent; this planet could never be completely silent. Too many people live on Coruscant for it to ever be completely and utterly quiet. Even the upper levels have a consistent level of noise.

As you stare out the window of the shuttlebus, you can see lights slowly beginning to flip on in the large apartment buildings. The sun hasn’t risen yet but threatens to do so. Some office buildings have lights on as well, although there’s no telling if it’s people who stayed far too late or people arriving early.

Once you get off the shuttlebus, you stop to adjust what you’re carrying. Your bag is slung over your shoulder, and you’re trying your best to balance a tray of caf on top of a box of donuts. You hold the box in one hand so you can get a better hold on the extra carafe of caf you have. Once you have that settled, you settle the box of donuts on your forearms and head towards the Senate building.

After several minutes of walking, you stop to take in your surroundings. It's sunrise. Golden rays peek from behind the main building. It’s beautiful. Not the building itself, but the light. The sun rising behind the Senate casts the buildings in darker shadows. It seems almost like a void, a large space of ominous nothingness looming over the horizon.

You shake your head. It’s just a sunrise behind a building. You’re overworked and stressed. Of course, your brain is going to make the Senate feel more menacing than it actually is. Nothing is... Well, a lot is wrong with the Senate, but not to the degree your gut thinks. It’s nothing. You’re just stressed. Once you secure this job, you won’t think this. It’ll look like a beautiful opportunity.

You concentrate as you walk up the stairs. No one apparently thought to consult an engineer; the steps are clean and neat, but they’re not even. Little dips and bumps and divots are worn into the stone material. The idea of dropping the caf makes your stomach churn. Not just because you spent so much money on all of this, but because you’re doing this as a surprise.

Footsteps greet you. When you look up, Ghost stands in front of you. No one else is around; the only thing that might see him are the security cameras. He’s professed he doesn’t think whomever is watching all of this cares enough to pay attention to him. He’s not a commander or someone of importance; he’s just a clone. It always hurts your heart when he says it like that. He’s more than he thinks, but you don’t know how to tell him that.

“Thank the Maker.” Ghost carefully takes the caf tray from you. “It’s been a week.”

“It’s good to see you too, Ghost.” For a second, you swear you can hear a snort. “When do you not have a week?”

Ghost makes a disgruntled noise, but he doesn’t argue with you. He doesn’t seem too upset by your comment.

“Who’s on shift change today?”

“Why?”

“I need to know who isn’t going to be there so I can find them and give them their caf.” You nudge him lightly. “Duh.”

“They can take care of it themselves.” Even though his comment is flippant, you know he doesn’t mean it. Ghost turns and begins walking up the stairs. You fall into step beside him. “Commander Thorn is switching out for Commander Thire.” He turns his head slightly. “They told me they’d be in the mess waiting.” He doesn’t come right out and accuse you of anything, but something about it feels like he is.

“I bring caf for everyone. This is my day to bring caf.” You shrug. Now, you for sure can feel Ghost give you a look.

“I know that.” A slightly teasing edge slips into his tone. “You don’t have to justify yourself to me.”

You don’t know what to say to that. The two of you walk in silence for a bit before you bring up the latest piece of gossip. You hadn’t befriended the Coruscant Guard for gossip reasons, you had done so because it felt right. The gossip was an extra bonus. None of them could come right out and say who they thought was sleeping with whom, and what the hell happened that left massive amounts of damage in a senator’s office, but they could imply enough and confirm in their own ways when you asked.

Ghost sneaks you towards the mess through the back halls. The two of you had come a long way. When you first started bringing caf, Ghost would take it and disappear. Presumably they tested it for poison and the like. Enough trust was established you were allowed to bring it personally, but it was always in the hallways, close enough to the Guard’s section of the building so they could retreat if a nosey natborn came by, but not so close that you could easily follow them back to their office.

Now, Ghost was leading you towards their mess hall. A small, warm feeling begins to unfurl in your heart. You never thought you would have reached this level of trust with them, and it’s... it’s nice.

Ghost double and triple checks the coast is clear before letting you into the mess hall. You don’t begrudge him. This would be the worst time to get caught by some nosy person just looking to cause trouble. He ushers you inside quickly. At the end of the mess, you can see Thorn and Thire talking to each other. Thorn is the first to see you. He has his bucket on, so you can’t see his face, but he seems to visibly perk up when he does see you. His shoulders drop away from the edges of his bucket, and he straightens his spine out some. He nudges Thire with his elbow. Thire looks in the direction Thorn is looking.

“Here you go.” You set the box of donuts on the table and take the caf tray from Ghost. You hand one to Thorn and then the other to Thire.

“My hero.” Thire almost drawls the words, but an odd sort of sincerity lies beneath his tone. He carefully takes the warm cup from you.

“I could kiss you.” The grin in Thorn’s voice is evident. His fingers seem to linger on yours for a second as he grabs the caf.

“Why haven’t you then?” You challenge, arching an eyebrow at him.

“He doesn’t want to ruin a beautiful friendship.” Thire mutters as he lifts up his bucket enough to sip the caf, just loud enough for you to hear him. You grin. Thorn goes to elbow his brother, but Thire swats him away.

“Where’s Fox? I got him some as well.” You also bought him a bag of light roast beans. He seems to prefer dark roast, but the light roast has more caffeine content. He seems to need it; he always seems so tired and burdened by the world.

“Right here.” The Marshall Commander of the Guard’s voice nearly makes you jump. You hand him his caf, which he accepts with a small ‘thanks’ and tilt of his head.

“I also got you this.” You reach into your bag to produce the beans. “It’s supposed to be some of the strongest caf around. Consider it a thank you for the other week.”

He carefully takes the bag from you. Fox turns the bag over to read the back, and for a second, you think he might reject the gift. Maker, you wish you could see his face. It would make things easier. Fox is one of the hardest to read based on body language, so being able to see his face might help you. He takes a step towards you, then stops, as if he thought better of what he was about to do. He curls his right hand almost subconsciously.

“Thank you.” It takes him a moment to speak. He dips his head again before turning to Thorn. “Whenever you do get around to kissing her. Make sure it’s a good one.”

Fox’s comment nearly makes you choke. Something about the delivery, joking yet serious in a very dry way, and how unexpected it was takes you aback. Despite yourself, you smile. Thire snorts. It’s unfiltered through the modulator, and his voice is deeper than expected. Thorn’s bucket is trained on Fox. You wonder if his mouth is agape or if he’s trying not to laugh. When you turn to Fox to say something, he’s already gone. You can see him heading out towards the main halls. You turn back to the other two Commanders. Thorn stands up.

“I’ll walk you to your desk.” He offers. “Thire can get the last caf to Hound.” He takes the tray, gentle yet insistent, from you and hands it to Thire.

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to get in trouble on my account.”

“It’ll be fine.” He waves away your concerns. “Hound’s all the way in the kennels. You wouldn’t be able to get this to him and then get back to your desk on time. And somebody needs to walk out of here with you so it doesn’t look even more suspicious.”

You nod and carefully pick up the donut tray.

“Okay.” Maker knows you aren’t complaining. You’ve grown to like Thorn a lot over the past several months. He was the first to open up to you. The two of you had developed a good rapport. At least, you think the two of you did. As Thorn leads you out of the mess, Ghost waves. You smile softly and wave back.

Hopefully this is a sign today is going to be a good day.

The two of you walk in silence. Something about it makes you nervous. It’s not that Thorn isn’t talking; the two of you had gotten to the point where neither of you feels the need to fill conversational gaps with meaningless chatter. This silence is different, somehow. Thorn seems as if he’s almost weighed down by something.

“Did I tell you...” You begin. “Senator Dalle is supposed to tell us who officially gets a job with him! Hopefully I won’t be a lousy intern anymore.” You beam at Thorn. Your throat constricts, though. To say you put your heart and soul into this was an understatement. Getting the internship had been hard, and you wanted to make all that work worth it.

Thorn stops. He lets out a sigh.

“Yeah. About that...” He clears his throat. Your heart sinks.

“Thorn. What... What is it?”

Thorn looks around for a second. Upon seeing no one, he gently takes a hold of your wrist and pulls you into an alcove. Your heart beats frantically against your ribcage. No way could this be good.

“Look.” Thorn pauses. His hands come up to his bucket as if he wants to run his hands over his face but stops himself. “You didn’t hear this from me, okay?”

“Okay.” You curl your toes. Despite your best efforts, you can feel panic surging through you, trying to overtake your body. Your body wants to shake, but you hold firm.

“I think Leena is going to get it.”

You arch an eyebrow at him. Leena...? Why her? Sure, she is your closest competition with this job, but it wouldn’t make sense. She isn’t as good as you. Right?

“How... How can you be sure?” Your voice threatens to break for a second. Thorn lets out a deep exhale.

“She’s been leaving Senator Dalle’s office as really odd hours of the night. Thire told me. I didn’t believe him until I saw it. And have you noticed how unusually chipper Dalle is?” Thorn pauses. You let the weight and implications of his words settle over you. It causes an unpleasant feeling in your throat. You have to swallow to prevent it from constricting too much.

“Do you... do you think she’s sleeping with him? To get the job?”

“I don’t know. I could be wrong. I hope I’m wrong. Just... I don’t want you to be blindsided.”

You nod. “I... Thank you for the heads up.” You take a deep breath and look up, blinking to try and keep tears from falling. It’s speculation. That’s all it is. Nothing more, nothing less. The knowledge stings, but it could be wrong.

“Are you okay?” Thorn’s tone is oddly soft for him. You shake your head.

“Yeah. Sorry. I. I just don’t want to ruin my eyeliner.” You clear your throat. Thorn lets out a laugh that’s closer to a giggle than a true laugh.

“Really?” A teasing edge enters his tone. You drop your chin and give him a look. He brings both of his hands up in mock surrender.

“I spent too long on this to ruin it.” You huff. Quietly, part of you is relieved Thorn is joking with you. It makes the hurt dissipate a little. Thorn’s bucket tilts.

“It looks good.” He offers. His tone is warm and genuine. If you heard it under any other circumstances, it would make your heart flutter. It makes you smile.

“Thank you.”

Whether he knew it or not, Thorn’s comment and soft words made the need to cry less urgent. You can hold it in until you know more. Thorn’s visor stays trained on your face.

“Ready?”

“Yeah. Ready.”

The two of you head back into the main hall. You aren’t sure if he likes escorting you or if he feels like he has to because you bring him caf. Hopefully, it’s the former. The idea Thorn might want to spend extra time with you causes butterflies to form in your stomach. He stops a couple halls down from your office. The two of you stand there for a second.

“Good luck.” Thorn offers.

“Thank you.” You smile at him. “Stay safe today.” It’s a simple sentence, but it holds so much more behind it. Thorn never gives any indication he knows there’s more to it. Hopefully, he doesn’t. It’s easier that way.

“I always do.” The grin in his voice is evident. Thorn slips out of the side hallway, leaving you to stand alone for a minute.

Carefully, you make your way to the desk. The office is abuzz, everyone eagerly awaiting to hear who might have gotten the job. Much to your surprise, Leena seems to be just as nervous as you. She aimlessly twirls the pen in her hand and on several occasions looks as if she wants to bite it. Not that you’re much better. It’s impossible for you to concentrate on work right now.

The anxiety only worsens when Dalle begins calling the interns back one by one. It feels like you’re on some sort of sick and twisted game show. Everyone who leaves the office looks heartbroken. You screw your eyes shut. You can feel your hands start to shake. Fuck.

Eventually, it’s just you and Leena who haven’t been called. Everyone who is at their desk keeps on looking between the two of you. Clearly, people want to whisper but are too afraid to do so. You try to focus on your work.

Senator Dalle calls your name.

Carefully, you stand up. A silent ripple seems to spread out among everyone. You know without a shadow of a doubt you didn’t get the job. Why else would he call you before Leena? Everyone else he’s called into his office he’s clearly rejected. You take a deep breath to try and steady your nerves. It’s hard to ignore. A knot has formed in your stomach. It stretches from the bottom of your ribs to the top of your throat.

You get inside his office.

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes. Would you shut the door behind you?”

You nod and carefully close the door.

“Go ahead and sit.” Dalle leans forward and interlaces his fingers. Every step you take towards the seat is measured and careful. You sit. Senator Dalle lets out a sigh after a second before leaning back.

“You’re a good kid. You really are. I can see your work ethic, and I admire it. But I’m afraid I can’t give you the position.”

At that point, you let yourself zone out.

You know what he’s going to say. It practically writes itself. Every lie and excuse pulled from the supervisor handbook. He explains how he really did want to give you the position, but he only has the budget to take one person on right now. The person in question is obviously Leena; you don’t ask who it is. He tells you he knows how hard you’ve worked and how he wants you to succeed. He looks forward to following your career. Who knows? Maybe next year he can take you on! Don’t let this minor setback hurt you.

You don’t know what hurts more. The fact he gave the position to the intern he’s presumably sleeping with or the fact, after months of working for him, he doesn’t seem to understand you at all. He keeps talking about you going into politics. Why would you go into politics now?

You do what’s expected of you. You lie through your teeth.

Of course you understand, you really do. It was an honor to work with him, and thank you so much for the opportunity. You probably tell more lies than the Chancellor as you sit in Dalle’s office. No, you understand completely, of course you weren’t mad or upset. It almost feels like he called you in there to reassure him, to tell him he chose best. It makes your stomach hurt. You aren’t sure if you want to cry or throw up or both.

Maker. What are you going to tell your parents? Are you... should you go back home? You don’t want to stay here, stay in this fucking city built on lies and deception, but you also don’t want to go home. To be honest, you might have to go back. Finding a job is going to be more than a little difficult; the unemployment rate in Coruscant is incredibly high. As it is, you’re living month to month off the measly stipend you are getting. Sure, you could continue to work for Dalle if you really had to, but you don’t want to. What would be the point, especially now you know how corrupt and crooked the man is?

Twenty billion questions race through your mind. Each time Dalle speaks, even more come to mind. Fuck. What are you going to do?

Once the meeting is over, you make your way back out to your desk. You can feel looks of pity from the others. Nevertheless, you hold your head high. It’s better this way. It has to be better this way.

“Leena?” Dalle calls from his office. The entire office exchanges knowing glances. You look down at your paperwork.

Much to your surprise, you make it to lunch before you break down. It’s hard. Every time you blink, it feels like tears are going to fall. Your head swims with a crying headache, even though you haven’t shed a single tear. Your concentration is absolutely shot.

As soon as you’re cleared for your lunch break, you make your way into the bathroom. You cry. It’s the last thing you want to do because this internship, this place, does not deserve your tears. You cry anyway. You don’t let yourself sob like you want to because if you did, you wouldn’t get back out in time. So you cry for several minutes. Just enough to take off the edge.

Eating lunch outside seems like a good idea today. You’re about to leave the building when someone says your name. The voice is familiar; it’s Ghost. He doesn’t use his normally friendly tone but instead his neutral, slightly commanding, tone. For a second, you’re worried you’re in trouble. Having one of the Guard come get you, no matter how friendly you are with them, is more than a little scary. Automatically, you begin to wonder what you might have done wrong.

“Commander Thorn wants to see you.”

“Okay.” Dutifully, you go to Ghost’s side. You’re not as scared as you were, but you’re a little relieved. This might not be as bad as it seems. Ghost escorts you through the halls. It takes you a moment to realize Ghost is actually taking you to Thorn’s office. The more drab hallways tell you as much. When you reach the door to Thorn’s office, Ghost knocks.

“Come in.”

Ghost opens the door.

“You’ll be fine.” It’s the first words of reassurance he’s spoken today. You nod. Yeah, you should be. Carefully, you step inside Thorn’s office. Thorn looks up from his datapad. As soon as he sees it’s you, he places it to the side.

“You wanted to see me?” You lamely ask.

“How’d it go?” It’s clear from his tone he does not expect it went well, but he still wants to ask. You shake your head.

“You were right. I... I didn’t get it.”

“Osik.” It’s easy to guess the word is a curse of some kind, just from the way he says it. You slide into the only other open seat in his office. It’s barely big enough for his tiny desk and an extra chair. You wouldn’t be surprised to learn it used to be an old supply closet.

“Why’d you want to see me?”

“Well. I figured you weren’t up to seeing people so. Thought if you wanted to eat your lunch and hide in here, I’d offer.” His tone is nonchalant. You can’t help your smile. This isn’t what you were expecting in the slightest, and you’re more than okay with it.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” You want to ask if he’s sure it’s okay you’re hiding out here, but you think better of it. He’s a Commander. He knows what he’s doing. At least, you hope he does. You have faith he does. Carefully, you curl your legs under yourself. Your lunch is a bag lunch so no need to worry about getting to the cafeteria or grabbing take-out in time.

“Are you going to go back home?” Thorn seems hesitant to ask. Maybe he’s afraid of what you’ll say.

“I... I don’t know.” You let out a long sigh. “I mean. I make enough to stay here, barely, but... I’m not sure I want to right now.” You huff. “Maybe I’m just being bitter.”

Thorn shakes his head. “I don’t think you are. I wouldn’t blame you if you left. I’d miss you. I wouldn’t blame you, though.”

You nod. You aren’t sure what else you want to say. Thankfully, Thorn seems to sense the awkwardness.

“Seriously.” Thorn leans a little across the desk. “I can’t speak to the others, but. I’d miss you. I miss you a lot.”

“You’d just miss the free caf.”

“That too.”

His admission makes you laugh.

“Do you want to hear about the time Thire and I scared a shitty senator? Grizzer helped us with it.”

“Of course I do.”

It’s nice to talk with Thorn. As you sit and listen to him tell a story clearly more fiction than truth, you realize something.

Quitting this job would mean leaving the Coruscant Guard behind. No feasible way exists for you to stay in contact with them. They, and these moments you share with them, are the only reason you wouldn’t quit. Nothing else matters. Hell, you should leave the job. The environment is toxic at best and abusive at worst. Why would you stay?

You’d stay for Thorn. You’d stay for Fox. For Hound, for Thire, for Stone. For each and every single member of the Guard. Not because they need you but because they’re your friends. At least, you think it qualifies as friendship. You certainly see them as friends.

Unfortunately, your lunch break is short. Time seems to pass so quickly, and it’s not long before you are on your way back to your desk. A multitude of thoughts are swarming through your head. Pulling out each one seems impossible. Yet you need to because you need a place, any place, to start. Your head pulses as you try to figure everything out.

“Hey.” Jethro, one of the few friends you have from this program, stands by your desk. “Ayssa and I are thinking about going out for drinks tonight. You in?”

“Yeah. That sounds good.” It does. Even if you don’t end up drinking, getting out of your head and spending time with people will help you. Who knows? If you bring your problem to them, they might be able to help. They could have a fresh insight to your problem.

“I mean, I’d quit.” Ayssa shrugs. “If you weren’t good enough this round, chances are you’ll never be good enough for him.”

You slowly exhale. She’s right.

“Easy for you to say. Daddy’s money lines your pockets.” Jethro nudges Ayssa. “It’s not so simple for us common folk.”

“I don’t know.” You sigh as you pick at your food. “I don’t want to leave because I’ve got friends. But also. I feel like I’m going to suffocate if I spend another minute in that place.”

Ayssa tilts her head. A glimmer creeps into her eyes.

“Maybe you don’t have to leave”

“Oh?”

“Look. I know someone who knows someone. There’s some… program, I guess? It’s for the clones.” Ayssa pauses to take a sip of her drink. “The government doesn’t like clones hooking up with civilians because it means higher chance of secrets getting out and all that. You can’t just deny them sex, though. So there’s this program where you get hired, and you’re essentially assigned some clones who you, you know...” She trails off with a meaningful look.

You aren’t sure what to say.

“So like. What? It’s a government sanctioned escort program?” Jethro laughs.

“Yeah. I heard you make mad money off it.”

“What’s the program’s name?” You eventually ask.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re seriously considering this!” Jethro looks at you as if you’ve grown a second and third head. You wave him away.

You shrug. “I’m just keeping my options open.”

Truth be told, you don’t think it’d be a bad job. It would beat working at a cafe or restaurant, and you’d be able to see the Guard more than you could now. Vaguely, you wonder. How much would you get paid? If it means you’re not living month to month, then you’re certainly interested.

The idea sticks with you the next several days. It doesn’t occupy your mind the entire time, but when you’re stuck doing something particularly onerous or thinking about how much you hate this job, the conversation comes back to you. Ayssa had given you the name of the program. You ended up looking it up that night before you went to bed. It didn’t seem unreasonable. You’d have to go through a background check and some other bureaucratic bullshit. It’s not like you hadn’t done it before; hell, you had to do more than this just to even think about the internship. You might even be able to fast-track everything.

One thing bothers you. You don’t know who you’ll get assigned to. From your understanding, the placement would be random, but you don’t want random. It’s silly, you know. You could do it. You’d just prefer to work with the Coruscant Guard. You know them so it’d make things less awkward.

Ironically, Leena provides the solution to your problem.

As you stare at a sheet of flimsi, reading about something or other you honestly can’t bring yourself to care about because it’ll screw people over one way or another, you can hear Leena talking. She’s passing by your desk with her comm open. It’s not much you hear, but it’s enough to give you an idea.

“No, yeah. I absolutely understand. I just... Yes, of course. My issue is we can’t get to the bottom of this if we don’t know the source. Yes. I’m saying Senator Dalle wants to talk to this guy. If he’s the source, why can’t he? No. Oh, of course I understand. The senator just deserves to be able to talk to this person face to face, you know?”

She doesn’t stop at your desk, doesn’t even spare a glance your way. You’re more than okay with her walking right by.

...Huh. The source. Absentmindedly, you scratch the back of your neck. She’s not wrong. Why jump through hoops when you can go directly to the source?

The next time you see Ghost, you’re bringing caf in. Ghost comes down the last two or three steps to meet you.

“Ghost?”

He trains his visor on you. “Yes?” His tone is suspiciously wary, as if he knows you’re about to ask something of him he might consider to be a waste of his time.

“Could you...” You wrinkle your nose before sighing. “I want to talk to Thorn about something. By myself. How would I make that happen?”

Ghost regards you for a moment.

“Most people have to go through the proper channels. But for you? I think he’d be willing to make an exception.”

“Thank you!” You practically beam at Ghost. “Do, ah, do you think I could talk to him after my shift?”

“He probably can? If not, tomorrow morning.”

The rest of the day you wait. Keeping still seems impossible. You want to fidget the entire time. None of your work seems interesting. Then again, it hasn’t held your interest for a week now. Time crawls. You hate waiting. The longer you wait, the more you second guess yourself. A pit forms in your stomach. All the ways this could go wrong flit through your mind.

Everything drags.

Eventually, work ends. As you walk into the hallway, Ghost comes around the corner. It’s clear this is once again business. His gait alone tells you; it’s very much a march instead of how he normally walks.

“Commander Thorn wants to speak with you.”

“Of course.”

The walk to Thorn’s office is silent. You aren’t sure what to say. Since this is meant to be official, you’re pretty sure Ghost can do small talk.

Thorn practically drags you into his office the minute you get to it.

“Are you alright?” He asks. A genuine note of panic creeps into his voice. You smile.

“I’m fine. I just had something personally I wanted to ask of you.”

Thorn lets out an exaggerated sigh of relief.

“You scared the shit out of me!” He slaps a hand over his chest piece. The sound from the plastoid is loud. “What’s up?”

You reach into your bag. After a moment’s hesitation, you fish out the brochure and hand it to him. He takes it from you.

“I...” You swallow. You spent hours practicing what you were going to say, but now the moment is here, you can’t say it. “I want to do this. I want to work with just you, though. The Guard, I mean. You all. I mean, if you want me.”

Thorn studies the brochure silently. He turns it over in his hands. You realize you’re holding your breath.

“Are you sure?” He looks up at you. Even through the visor of his bucket, you feel his eyes studying you. Something tells you he’s got warm, brown eyes. His tone indicates he’s not questioning you because he thinks you’re making a mistake. No, he’s double checking with you, making sure you want this.

“I’m sure.”

Of course you are sure! You wouldn’t have brought this to him if you weren’t double and triple sure. You nod. Thorn stays silent for a moment. He places the brochure down on the desk. Is he... Is he going to say no? Is he going to reject you? The thought had vaguely crossed your mind, but his actions make you worry.

His hands go to the edges of his bucket. You hear clasps unsnap before he carefully takes it off and sets it on his desk.

“Hi.” Thorn grins at you. His brown eyes light up as he does so. His hair is long and pulled back into a thick bun. Several stray strands, some more sections of hair than one or two strands, hang in front of his face. He has dimples. Well, one dimple. A raised scar covers his right cheek. It looks to be from one incident where he got multiple injuries. A long line runs from just above the right corner of his mouth and curves out and down towards his jaw. Several short lines branch out from the main one.

Your fingers twitch. You want nothing more than to run your fingers over his scar and ask him how he got it. You want to place your hand against his cheek and watch his eyes close. The intensity of these feelings nearly sweeps you away entirely.

“Hi.” You smile back. Thorn’s smile is absolutely the infectious kind. Thorn sits back on his desk, balancing on the edge of it. “So. Is this a yes...?”

“I’ll have to talk to Fox, but I don’t see why he’d say no.” Thorn hums. “He’s going to want to make sure you’re really okay with this.”

“I should hope I’m okay with this, I’m the one who brought the idea to you.” You tease.

“I know you are, but others don’t.” Thorn’s eyes have barely left you since he took off his bucket. A warm feeling starts to build, making you curl your toes slightly.

“So I’m going to have to jump through red tape and what? Tell them it was my idea? Make sure they know I came up with this all on my own?”

Thorn tilts his head to the side as if considering something and then nods. “Yeah. Probably.”

“Okay.” You step towards him. “How long do you think it’ll take?”

“Fuck if I know. Could take hours, could take days. It’s not our end that will be the problem.” His honesty makes you laugh. His expression brightens at the sound.

“Tell you what?” You reach him. Carefully, you place your hand on the desk beside him. “You talk to Fox, I’ll fill out any paperwork or whatever I have to do. Then once it goes through, I’ll quit this stupid intenrship, and we can have a glass of wine at my place. How does that sound?”

Thorn leans in a little. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to seduce me.”

“Is it working?”

“Only because I’m easy.”

It takes you a minute, but when you get what he’s saying, you let out an indignant noise and pout. Thorn doesn’t laugh. He clearly wants to do so, though. His face scrunches up with a barely suppressed smile, and his shoulders shake for a second. He takes a deep breath and sobers himself.

“I would go ahead and put in the application. Fox will talk to whoever as soon as he can.”

“I’ll be good and wait until I actually get confirmation to quit my job.”

“Probably a good idea.”

You don’t move away just yet. Instead, you let yourself linger for a second. Thorn looks at you from underneath his eyelashes.

“You should probably go. People might get suspicious.” His tone makes it clear he doesn’t want you to go yet. You want to tell him fuck that. Fuck what people think. Deep down, you know he’s right. While it might not matter to you right now, it does have an impact on what happens to him. After a second, you sigh and then nod.

“Yeah. I guess I should.” You turn towards the door. Thorn softly says your name, and you turn back to fce him.

“I like sweet wine.” He tells you with a grin. He waits until you smile back at him before he puts his bucket back on and goes back to work.

Waiting for Thorn made you want to crawl out of your skin. Waiting for Fox is worse. You barely sleep. It feels like you should be a shoe-in, and yet, you worry. Your anxiety wants to latch on to any and all of your perceived imperfections. You almost growl into your pillow. All you want is to sleep, but your brain won’t let you.

Today you reread the same thing over and over and over again because you simply can’t retain it. Nothing wants to stick inside your brain today. Your lack of sleep shows when you stumble into work the next day. Jethro looks at you with pity.

“Hey.” He makes his way over to your desk. Much to your surprise, he holds out a cup of caf for you. You take it from him with a small ‘thanks’. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m okay.” Jethro makes a noise indicating he thinks you’re banthashitting him. “I’ll be okay. I just didn’t sleep well.”

Jethro stares at you for a second, concern written all over his face.

“Look. You know if you need to talk...” He stops himself. “Tell you what. Lunch is on me today, my treat.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” Jethro’s tone is final. Arguing with him would just make him double down even more.

“Alright. That sounds good to me.”

After several seconds, you stand up. Your head hurts. The words on the page don’t make sense anymore. You need air. Carefully, you navigate your way out of the office and into the main hall. As you go, you feel Jethro’s eyes on you. Hopefully he won’t follow you. Water seems like a good idea. You thread your way through the maze of hallways towards the closest water cooler.

Someone calls your name. You look up from your water bottle and blink. A trooper you don’t know stands in the hallway.

“Commander Fox wants to see you.”

Oh?

Oh!

Well, maybe. You aren’t sure if it’s a good thing or not yet. Although, you’re not sure you care all that much right now. You have an answer and can work from here. The trooper, Lynx you learn, leads you back towards Fox’s office. To your tired mind, it feels as if he’s leading you towards Thorn’s office initially. The different paintings clue your brain back in as to where you’re going.

The hallway to Fox’s office is nicer yet somehow more depressing than the one leading to Thorn’s office. It’s not as overtly depressing. The walls are more similar in color to the main thoroughfares. Somehow, it feels more soulless. Art on the wall switched from paintings to generic motivational posters, ones that are closer to “hang in there” than actual professional photos. They’re still technically professional, but they don’t feel that way.

Corners knocks on Fox’s door.

“Come in.”

Lynx actually follows you into the office. Fox looks up from his paperwork.

“You can leave us.”

“Of course, sir.” Lynx nods before quietly backing out of the office. You stand awkwardly for a second. Fox points you towards a seat. His office is slightly bigger than Thorn’s. He has enough space for a bigger desk and more chairs. Hesitantly, you lower yourself into a chair.

“You wanted to see me?”

“Yes.” Fox looks at you. The intensity of his gaze filters through the visor. He sighs and leans back. “You’re not in trouble. Thorn told me about your conversation last night.” He slides a brochure across the desk.

“Yes. I told Thorn I wanted to do this, and I wanted to work with you all in particular.” You nod. You resist the urge to cross your legs. Fox nods.

“And it was your idea?” His voice is carefully neutral.

“Yes. It was 100% my idea.” You relax a little. Thorn did warn you this would happen, so you’re not as nervous anymore. “Thorn didn’t even know until I talked to him last night.”

“Okay.” For a second, you swear a tinge of relief creeps into Fox’s voice. The note is gone quickly, so you can’t be entirely sure. “I needed to double check.”

“I figured.” Things feel stilted. You resist the urge to fidget. It feels as if you might not get the job. Fox regards you for a second.

“I talked to Nikali, who runs the program.” Fox places one of his hands on the table. His fingers twitch for a second. “They will have to run a background check and everything again. It’s standard. You’re sure you want to do this?”

“Positive. It was my idea. I want to do this.” You get why he’s double checking, but at the same time, the overabundance of caution is a little grating. It feels as if they expect you to second guess your decision. Certainly, it feels as if the company itself might worry it wasn’t your decision to make.

“I heard about what happened with Dalle. I’m sorry.” Fox does tap his fingers quickly on the edge of his desk, a fluid one-two motion you almost miss. He looks up at you. His eyes meet yours. You don’t know how you can tell, but you know he’s looking you right in the eye. “It is probably for the best. Dalle can be mercurial.”

You nearly snort.

“I’m aware he can be a baby when things don’t go his way.”

Fox nods. “It’s for the best. You would have gotten hurt.”

The thought sticks inside your gut for a second. You hadn’t really thought about that part of it, but he’s right. Dalle slept with an intern. Who knows what the man might be capable of doing?

Fox’s voice brings you back. “When I talked to Nikali, he agreed you could work just with us. You’ll have to iron out the specifics with him.”

“Sounds like you think I’m a shoe-in.”

“I’m not an idiot.” He nearly drawls. “It’d be stupid to say no to you.”

The implication makes a pleasant heat curl through your veins. Your heart sutters for a second.

“Because of my tenacity?”

You can’t see his eye roll, but you hear it.

“That’s it exactly.” You like this side of Fox, this dry and sarcastic side. It took a while to get to see it; he hid behind bland customer service tones meant for senators for a long time. Seeing this side of him feels like a treat.

“Don’t quit until you get the official acceptance.” Fox shifts in his seat so he’s sitting up more. You understand what he’s trying to get at. This place is filled with petty people. If you quit before you have something assured, someone somewhere might try to ruin it for you.

“I won’t.”

Fox nods, once. You take it to mean you’re dismissed.

As you make your way back towards your office, you think about the interaction. One thing sticks out to you. While this was mainly business, you can’t shake the feeling it was also personal. Fox clearly was checking in on you to make sure you were okay with everything. He’s protective of you.

All of them were protective of you in their own ways. Thorn warning you Leena might get the job was his way of protecting you. Thire had warned you on several occasions when a senator was looking for someone, anyone, to take their rage out on. Hound always made sure to walk you wherever you were going when you saw him. Stone had given you more than one tip on how to deal with some particularly obnoxious senators. Pinpointing how Fox kept you safe was more difficult, but you never doubted for a second he didn’t do something to protect or help you.

You reach your desk without incident. The datapad is just as dull and uninteresting as before. Fuck it. You aren’t going to stay at this job much longer. You pull out your comm. Thorn gave you his private line the last time you saw him.

“You like sweet wine, right? Is starcherry good?”

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#Cassandra writes #Fic: Candy Girl #commander thorn x reader #Commander Fox x reader

127 notes · View notes

quixot1sm · 9 months

Note

can you talk about n in the hilbertverse

OHOHOHOH... i have a lot to say about him. theyre a deeply complicated person with a handful of mysteries to him that can never be definitively answered (i mean, i could probably tell you, but as far as hilbertverse canon goes it's up to interpretation...). and he has good reason for this! prepare for a lot of words because this guys a doozy

for starters: n, despite his innate kindness and will to do good, is alarmingly similar to his father. and not for nothing... n in his entirety was fabricated from the very beginning. seeking a blank slate and spurred by his own ego, ghetsis created a clone of himself that he could then mold into not only a reliable pawn, but also the spitting image of the first king of unova- a historical figure who had become more akin to a deity for the cult that had evolved over time into what is now team plasma. the actions he took to do so included but were not limited to: abandoning n as an infant only to return to him when he was ~8 to create both a distrust towards humanity as well as a dependency on ghetsis, only exposing n to pokemon who had been so heavily abused by humans that n couldnt understand them, and finally, telling n that he was the literal reincarnation of king harmonia.

(ghetsis, in spite of being raised in this cult himself, didnt care much for the semi-religious importance of his ancestor. but the legend was useful in garnering n a following when plasma expanded into the public)

but back on topic. because of his father's influence, n truly believed himself to be a perfect, infallible being that would shed light on a world overtaken by evil, and hes also terribly charismatic, and speaks with conviction. hes calculated, though he doesnt see living beings as tools for his use the way ghetsis does... and hes very dramatic, a romantic, and holds a strong belief in the concept of destiny.

after the climax of bw though, his understanding of the world shatters around him, along with his sense of identity once ghetsis reveals that ns life itself is a farce. what parts of n are real and which were instilled in him? which are him and which are his father? who knows... n certainly doesnt. he struggles deeply with determining reality, and a terrible self image, following this event and leading to present day. in fact, they felt so unqualified for any kind of responsibility or respect that he tried to shrug off his title of hero of truth to the first person they believed would be deserving of it. since this was nate though, that kinda failed.

n carries a lot of guilt, and consistently tries to "make up for" the things he did/believes he caused. one of these undertakings was a search for the dark stone after learning that hilbert was apparently killed while trying to find him. n continued this quest for roughly five straight years, stopping back in unova every few months to recover from such an arduous task and to share or gather updates to the situation.

during this time, n's idolization of hilbert as the only real thing in his life grew worse, until n regarded him in a nearly demigod-like status. to him, hilbert was the true hero, a self-made person who was able to win one of the legendary dragons' favor through his own work alone. in their mind, hilbert was organic where n was artificial, the epitome of idealism, so over time n's idea of hilbert morphed from a human to a concept. of course, n's delusions would once again be shattered, this time by a discovery in alola...

and thats the overview! but for some additional trivia:

n has never once cared about gender in their entire life and will go with any pronouns others use for him without batting an eye (but defaults to he/they when referring to himself)

his ability to "speak" with pokemon is actually a sort of telepathy inherited from king harmonia's initial encounter with taijirum. he doesnt hear words per se, but instead sees and feels the imagery, emotion and intent in the mind of the pokemon he's communicating with.

all his talk of seeing the future in bw wasnt literal. he was just very confident in his analyses of the situation unfolding before him. and to his credit he was often right

most of the general public doesnt know his face, much less the details or validity of what was happening in 2010, thanks to interpol's intervention. interpol does like to keep an eye on him though. just in case.

after returning to unova they spent a loooot of days and nights in the ruins of their castle, wallowing in the remains of the illusory world he had once lived in and sitting in the throne room that served as a reminder to the one piece of reality from that time he could cling onto. but, when weather made it dangerous or impossible, he moved to couch-surfing in the houses of those such as alder and rood. when n left again after bw2 though, hed return every few months and alternate between the aforementioned two and sometimes hilbert's friends.... even though cheren did not like him very much and only allowed it because bianca felt bad for him(/it's what hilbert wouldve wanted...)

hes not actually obsessed with ferris wheels. hes just as enthralled with any other combination of technology and architecture (ex. anville town, gear station, etc), but after bw ferris wheels hold sentimental value so they do have a special place in his heart.

they start wearing more colorful clothing over time as a token of his newfound freedom and slow-but-sure development into a member of human society. his favorite color is orange

their birthday is january 1st :)

#asks #anonymous #n harmonia

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usedpidemo · 4 months

Text

Update - Happy New Year! (and some housekeeping)

*TV static intensifies*

Hey everyone! π here.

Once again, I'd like to wish all of you formally a happy new year! This will be my third year with you, and I hope you're still enjoying my works and I appreciate you for your continued support.

Now that I have your attention, I'd like to give you an overall update on things happening behind the scenes, but first:

2023 Poll

I only posted 10 fics over the previous year, rip, but they're easily some of my most popular and positively received works in the library. Vote up to three of your favorite fics released from me during 2023! I was supposed to include Plaid on the list, but I didn't finish it on time, and as a result this poll also delayed lol. You can change your votes anytime if you have a change of heart. Poll begins from today until January 7, 2024 1:00 P.M. KST/12:00 AM EST.

2024 Road map

And because I only posted 10 fics all throughout 2023, my personal goal in 2024 is to increase the amount of releases, while continuing to improve the quality and maintain consistency. Hopefully. In real life, I'll be entering my third year of college once the holidays are over, and this may be the last full year of freedom I get. I might have to do on-the-job training (OJT) and write up my thesis, which requires a lot of personal commitment so I can finally graduate. I'm basically on borrowed time at this point.

Plans change. Shit happens. Everything that I'm about to say isn't exactly a 100% guarantee, and I really don't wanna promise anything because I've broken way too many promises. But here's the initial proposed list of idols that will be getting fics in 2024:

Hanni

Chaeryeong

Ningning

Yunjin

Rei

Sejeong

Nagyung

Haewon

Yuqi

Xiaoting

Minji (Newjeans)

Sakura

Youngeun

Karina

Sullyoon

Heejin

And this doesn't include idols I've already written :)

Looks ambitious—and it is—but if I can complete even half of that list, I feel as if I've already accomplished my goal.

Commissions

To the people who've been waiting for their requests, once again I'd like to apologize for the delays. I feel terrible knowing I've got so many projects in limbo because of circumstances beyond my control, and it feels as though I've betrayed your trust. However, we're picking things up and I'll gradually be releasing them throughout the early stages of 2024. Thank you for waiting just a little bit longer.

With that said, my personal plan is to implement the following so this never happens again: I'll be scaling back on the number of commissions I can accept at a time so there's more breathing room for requests as well as personal ideas/projects. Ideally, this would mean releasing fics in a 2-to-1 format: 2 commissions then 1 personal idea, but this would vary based on personal schedule and overall demand. Balancing real life commitments with burnout is a huge challenge, and I believe this is the most comfortable situation for me. Please understand that I'm still just one guy and I can't do everything all at once. If I could clone myself, I would abuse the shit out of that ability.

Closing

Overall, I've been blessed to have such a wonderful 2023, and I pray 2024 will be just as kind, if not kinder. I've experienced some of the highest highs and the lowest lows, but I personally feel that 2023 was the best year I've had in almost a decade, and this blog is one reason for that. It wasn't as productive as it used to be, but the increasing support is simply humbling. Heck, I've been entrusted to bring some of your visions/fantasies to life, which shows how much faith you have in me to succeed and bring you quality art. There's no amount of words that can express how truly grateful I am to you, the readers, my peers in the writing community, and to our heavenly Father.

Regardless of what happens to me or this blog, I hope 2024 will be kind to you all. Love you.

with grace,

peter / π

#update

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i-was-a-teenage-eldritch-horror · 1 year

Note

You turned on anon a long time ago and I forgot to ask. Sorry! I just wanted to ask what is the proof that Gendo SAed Rei? Here's an interesting thread by the way. I just wanted to know your thoughts.

Hi, thanks for your question.

This has been a rather contentious topic for a long time in the eva fandom. The thread you linked started in 2009, but I'm sure this was being discussed before then as well.

Before I get into anything else, I want to point out that this is an evageeks thread. The evageeks wiki is somewhat useful for things like trivia, but it is not a good place to go to for in-depth analysis of the girls and women in eva, their trauma, and how that relates to gender. Evageeks is rather misogynistic and clownish.

I have to assume that by "proof" you don't mean explicit dialogue, since you're talking about Neon Genesis Evangelion and asking an analysis blog about it. Analysis is about reading between the lines, yes? But I suppose it's worth bringing up that Ritsuko does mention the abuse pretty explicitly in a draft of episode 24, if that's worth anything to you.

To me, it's obvious that Gendo was sexually abusing Rei. The fact that she's a teenaged clone of his dead wife is suspect enough, but let's dive deeper.

The scene in episode 5 where Shinji tries on Gendo's cracked glasses in Rei's apartment is pretty solid evidence. The glasses represent Gendo's worldview -- his gaze -- and the fact that the lenses are cracked, distorting the sight of the wearer, signifies that Gendo's worldview is very warped. The first thing Shinji sees after putting them on is a naked Rei, too. Shinji then falls on top of Rei, accidentally grabbing her breast. This mirrors Gendo's purposeful action in end of eva. The cherry on top of all this is that Shinji violated Rei's space -- he not only walked into her apartment when he believed she wasn't home, but was also snooping around in her room! He could've left her new ID card on her bed or dresser and left. This is interesting when you compare it to Toji's attitude towards Rei's space in episode 17 -- he's a bit weirded out by Shinji's willingness to just barge in and clean up while Rei isn't home. Also, in the scene from episode 5, you can see shoe prints on the floor in the apartment that don't look like they come from Rei or Shinji, so make of that what you will.

Another tidbit I want to mention is that there's a scene in episode 23 where a bunch of tiny Reis pop up out of Shinji's hand while the angel is attacking. In the ADV dub, what the tiny Reis are saying is "Ikari, it hurts!" I'm not sure what the Netflix dub dialogue is, and I doubt this dialogue is indicated in any subs. If anyone reading this speaks Japanese and wants to weigh in with what the tiny Reis say in Japanese, please do. Being that the later, more psychological angel attacks dredge up the pilots' past and ongoing trauma, I find this relevant to mention.

There's also the many scenes of Gendo gazing at a naked Rei throughout the series. Most notably in episode 15, which also shows Ritsuko glaring angrily at Gendo in jealousy while he does so. Later, in episode 23, Ritsuko says that she lost to "these dolls," meaning Rei and the clones. Lost in what respect? In what ways are Ritsuko and Rei different? Well, Rei is younger -- the same as Ritsuko was when she first met Gendo. Also, even though Ritsuko is thoroughly traumatized, she still retains some semblance of an ability to say no, and conceptualize the consequences of saying no. She had a life before Gendo. Rei has not experienced a version of life without Gendo. In episode 5, Rei asks Shinji why he doesn't have faith in Gendo, to which Shinji replies that he doesn't trust him. The "faith" vs. "trust" distinction is pretty consistent throughout English translations, and Rei's usage of "faith" indicates the god-like power that Gendo holds over her.

Ritsuko inherited the tripartite division that plagued her mother: that of woman, mother, and scientist. She views Rei as sexual competition (I hope it's not controversial to state here that Ritsuko and Gendo had a sexual relationship? Also there's that part in episode 24 where she basically says that he's raped her), which is "woman." She's one of Rei's caretakers, arguably spending more time around her than Gendo, which is the "mother" part of it. Finally there's the "scientist" part -- Ritsuko is a scientist and Rei is her test subject. There's a scene early on in the show that's rather striking. Rei is bandaged up in her underwear undergoing a full-body scan. This procedure is supervised by Ritsuko, who coolly converses with Misato as if none of this stuff with Rei is happening. Despite the fact that Ritsuko's the one supervising it! Not an ounce of concern or compassion. Because that's what abusers do, they divide, conquer, and pit their victims against each other.

It's worth noting that if you look at the Gendo-Ritsuko-Rei dynamic as a warped version of a nuclear family, it aligns very well with what is known about families where the daughter is being sexually abused by the father. Typically, the mother (Ritsuko) in this situation will only tolerate the abuse of her daughter if she is also being abused or if she feels especially powerless. Both of these describe Ritsuko, who thinks of Rei in much the same way Naoko thought of her. Naoko was sleeping with Gendo and being manipulated by him, too. Also, a lot of people in that thread you linked deny that Gendo was sexually abusing Rei because "he thought of her like a daughter." They point to the line in one episode where Gendo says that if his and Yui's child is a girl, they'll name her Rei. But sadly, fathers do sexually abuse their daughters. Even ones who are biologically related.

It's horrible -- nobody wants to think of it, but it's an uncomfortable truth. For far too many men, the definitions of "daughter" and "lover" are not mutually exclusive. I believe that "incest" as a term applies to Gendo's abuse of Rei because he's in a caretaking position, Rei thinks of him as a caretaker, and carries all the baggage that comes along with having an abusive caretaker. Nobody with more than 2 braincells to rub together would say that the Nanami-Touga thing in RGU isn't incest simply because they're not biologically related. Rei's afraid of being abandoned by Gendo, works hard to figure him out, why he treats her the way he does, why she was created, and what to do with herself. Shinji and Rei's Gendo-centric angst are two sides of the same coin; the edge that separates the two is gender.

With all this in mind, the structure of Gendo and Rei's relationship heavily gestures towards the familial. The evageeks users in that thread correctly observe this, but they allow their own naive assumptions about abuse to prevent them from taking the next logical step in their analysis of the show.

Lastly, a major part of Rei's character is her relationship with her body. Any type of trauma and abuse, but especially sexual abuse, has a nasty habit of disconnecting victims from their bodies. A major theme surrounding Rei's character is her body. It's so overwhelmingly obvious that even the dullest viewer would pick up on it. Rei spends a decent chunk of her screentime naked, and her status as a warm body is relevant to Gendo's plan for 3rd impact (he needs Rei because she houses Lilith's soul in a physical form -- this was his own design), the dummy plugs (which run off her decision-making process), and Gendo's abuse of her (she is literally a clone of his dead wife, whom he spends the entire show trying to reunite with).

I hope this answered your question!

#originals #anon #anonymous #rei ayanami #gendo ikari #ritsuko akagi #end of eva #eoe #evangelion #nge #neon genesis evangelion #cw incest #cw csa #rgu spoilers #utena spoilers #sku spoilers

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spacemagicandlaserswords · 9 months

Text

The Clone Wars 5.19 ‘To Catch a Jedi' Reaction

I am now really pissed off about this whole arc. This entire time no one has believed Ahsoka. No one apart from Anakin and even his belief seems to be wavering, or at least tempered. No one has even bothered to stop and listen to her. No one has bothered to consider any other possibilities beyond the most obvious and easy outcome in front of them. Ahsoka is a child. Everyone involved in this has violently hunted down, traumatised and abused A Child.

Where is the famed Jedi empathy in all of this? I’m fairly balanced on the Jedi as a whole. I can see the good that they do in the universe. I am also aware that they are not without fault and can recognise where they make mistakes and cause harm. And boy did they royally fuck up this time.

I am fully aware that this is an outside perspective looking in on the situation as it unfolds while I already know the outcome and that Ashoka is being framed. But this is deeply uncomfortable and upsetting to watch. Probably one of the most difficult arcs and episodes out of TCW thus far. I am also fully aware that all of the evidence is pointing towards Ahsoka being guilty. But nobody even bothers to consider any alternative or other options. They just behave like cops and go with the easiest and most convenient option. There is definitely a point about police violence in here.

I wonder if Anakin is tempering his outward appearance of belief in Ahsoka because his belief in her is wavering or if he’s realised that he needs to appear more balanced and not emotionally compromised so that he can help her.

I am just so upset and pissed off for Ahsoka. She is A CHILD. I’d put her at around 15-16 here. Think back to when you were 15-16. Life is awful enough as it is. Can you imagine everyone in your entire life, everyone that you’ve ever loved and cared for, suddenly turning on you and refusing to believe you? No wonder she leaves the order.

Time to rewatch this episode and live-blog it. This is probably going to be a large amount of angry ranting.

I officially hate Tarkin. He’s in the same league as Krell and Nolan. I’m so glad he eventually gets blown up on the Death Star. Bastard deserved it.

Where is the evidence for what Tarkin is accusing Ahsoka of here? We didn’t see any of what he’s talking about in the previous episode? Where’s your evidence you pompous arsehole? Your accusations are also inconsistent. We only saw 3 clones dead last episode but Tarkin said she cut down 5 clones. At least get your lies consistent fuckwit.

Well at least Plo still believes in Ahsoka. At least somewhat.

“We deal strictly in facts and evidence,” Then where is your evidence? And why are your accusations inconsistent? *rage*

“This is sedition.” lmao you dramatic bitch (derogatory)

“Was there no way to stop your padawan before she escaped?” Yeah I could’ve jumped down there but I had to stand at the mouth of a pipe and look dramatic.

Anakin is being very balanced and contained here.

“With all due respect” i.e. with all the disrespect possible

Obi-Wan with an interesting point about Anakin knowing Ahsoka the best. And presenting it in a way that is balanced and logical rather than immediately jumping to the defence of his former padawan and current grand padawan. Though I’m sure a lot of the council members probably read it as Obi-Wan defending Anakin again, especially given that I’m sure he’s had to do that numerous times before.

“He’s emotionally tied to her.” No shit mate.

“I’d rather capture Ahsoka and find out the truth than let her run because of a lie.” Why isn’t anyone else considering other possibilities like Anakin is here? It makes sense that Anakin is because he’s Ahsoka’s Master but what about the rest of you lot? You’re council members. You’re supposed to be the best of the Jedi. I am mad. And disappointment.

Anakin alerting security on the lower levels to look out for Ahsoka is an interesting move. I’m still not sure if this is part of him trying to appear to the council like he’s not attached (even though he clearly is) or if it’s because his belief in Ahsoka is waning. Or that he wants to do things his way and bring her back safely and then find out the truth.

“Bring back this lost child” So you can recognise she’s a child here but that doesn’t stop you from hunting her down?!

Lmao of course there’s a thunderstorm. Of course there is.

Who are these guys? I’m assuming they’re cops for the lower levels of Coruscant?

Oh, that is the wrong person to be calling Ahsoka. Calling Barriss is not a good idea. Girl, what are you doing?

If Ahsoka had a Jedi communicator, surely it had a tracking locator in it and they could just track her to its last location before she enacted every movie cliche about these things and crushed under her boot?

A Jedi using a cloak as a disguise? No one will ever expect that!

The cloak Ahsoka traded for even has little covers for her horns. That’s going to make it even more obvious.

Some cops asking for tickets from passengers as the fugitive tries to subtly move away from them? How original.

A chase sequence on a train? How original!

More unnecessary acrobatics but ok.

Was that an Aleena on the train station platform?

Poor Ahsoka is not doing particularly well at running and hiding.

Of course there’s a kid. Ugh.

That was a really good example of how much this is impacting Ahsoka, and she admitted it as well. She was so panicked and focused on getting out that she didn’t stop to observe her surroundings and do all the normal calm Jedi stuff. Though given they spend most of their time cutting through doors and walls, reverting to type here does make sense.

That has got to be Ventress, right?

Wtf are those weird spider shaped ship things?

Wolffe, did you cut your hair?

I am trying really hard not to be too harsh on the clones in all of this. I know I made this point in the previous recap but it bears repeating. The clones are slaves. They have no agency. They have no other option but to follow orders. I know we had the whole Umbara arc about not following orders when they’re wrong and it’s a theme that’s cropped up a few times since as well. But I also think there’s a big difference between the situation on Umbara and what’s happening on Coruscant.

On Umbara, the 501st were isolated. They couldn’t contact anyone else because their comms were being jammed. They only had each other to depend on while being abused and mistreated to horrific levels by Krell. All of them were pushed to their breaking points (or beyond it) and they had no one else to help them. They were literally all on their own and did the best they could with the situation they were stuck in.

On Coruscant, there are a multitude more people involved. All in positions of power over the clones. The Jedi council. The entire Jedi order. The Senate. Palps. Whatever military nonsense Tarkin is part of. Any and all nat-borns. The clones are literally at the bottom of the pile. Even Ahsoka is in a slightly better position than them and wouldn’t be killed instantly, unlike if a clone was on the run *sobs in foreshadowing*

I’ve just realised that this whole arc is a huge amount of foreshadowing for what happens in the chip conspiracy arc. There’s a large amount of similarities too. Both Ahsoka and Fives are on the run. No one believes them. But the difference is only one of them makes it out alive.

Was that a tooka?

Called it. That’s Ventress.

The Senate put a bounty on Ahsoka?! On A CHILD?! What. The. Actual. Fuck.

“You have my attention.” Ok, Ventress is interested.

Ahsoka is being quite smart and grown up about this while talking to Ventress. She is basically being forced to instantaneously grow up and turn into an adult by all this and you can really see it here. I don’t know if this is the case for anyone else but I had a fundamentally life altering and defining event where my childhood ended and adulthood began. This whole arc feels very much like that for Ahsoka.

I have a lot of thoughts about Ventress. She’s as much a product of abuse and trauma as Maul and Savage are. But that doesn’t excuse what she’s done, nor does it excuse what they did either. She’s a deeply layered character and despite everything she’s done, I also find myself feeling sad for her and what’s been done to her. This is probably another thing I’m going to have to collate my thoughts about later but suffice to say, Ventress is a lot more than the one-dimensional femme-fatal villainess she was originally portrayed as.

Ah dammit, Ahsoka getting caught with Ventress is not going to help her case.

Oh, the music there is beautiful.

“Not everyone on Coruscant lives in a luxurious temple on the surface.” That theme about inequality from the last episode surfacing again.

No girl, why are you calling Barriss again. I know Ahsoka doesn’t know at this point but I’m busy wailing and gnashing at my laptop screen here.

I am also trying really hard to not be too harsh on Barriss because of the way this entire arc treats her character. I will probably collate my thoughts in my recap of the final episode of this arc but this is one of those times where you can tell that TCW has dated, and not well. This episode aired in February 2013 so I’m guessing it was written in 2012. And you can really tell.

With that in mind, Barriss is doing a very good job of acting the role of concerned friend that Ahsoka can trust. But you can see a little bit of her desperation and true intentions leaking out here in this comm call. Ahsoka nearly picks up on it when she says “How did you find this out?” but Barriss manages to cover it and misdirect her with a very cheery and friendly sounding “I told you I would do some checking.”

Nooooo Wolffe, what are you doing. I know he has to be here because Plo is here but why dammit.

How did neither Ahsoka or Ventress sense a bunch of clones closing in on them?

How does Ventress know about this abandoned warehouse?

Oh, Wolffe. I know he has no choice but to follow orders and that just makes it all even worse. Do Ahsoka and Wolffe ever cross paths after all of this?

Why didn’t all the clones just immediately stun Ahsoka and Ventress?

“Take a shot” Yes mate, why didn’t any of you do that?

Oh that was interesting, Wolffe fighting Ventress again. That has got to be a nod to how he lost his eye. I wonder if either of them knew. Wolffe might’ve if Anakin informed everyone that the person Ahsoka was seen with was Ventress. Though he also might not have in an effort to protect Ahsoka. I’m not sure Ventress would’ve realised. Or cared tbh.

Even with his bucket on, that’s gotta hurt. Poor Wolffe.

So a (former?) sith and a padawan can just easily take out a whole bunch of clones in a close quarters fight? I know suspension of belief is a thing and all that but even that is a bit of a stretch. Clones are supposed to be the ultimate soldiers and you expect me to believe that they a) didn’t take multiple opportunities for an easy stun shot and b) all got taken out by only 2 Force users, one of which is a padawan?

“General Plo Koon, we had Commander Tano, but she escaped with the help of Asajj Ventress.” Ah damn, I can see that line being the reason that Plo loses belief in Ahsoka and thinks that she actually did what she’s accused of.

That also means Wolffe knew that he was fighting the same person who sliced open his face with a lightsaber and made him lose an eye. Damn.

Where are Anakin and Plo in all of this anyway? Why aren’t they out there looking for Ahsoka as well? Why have they sent the clones out to do it? I thought the whole idea was for them, i.e. the Jedi, to go out and find Ahsoka.

Another tooka spotted!

That abandoned warehouse looks like a weird kind of shipping tanker.

“These are strange times.” FOREBODING KLAXON

Lmao at the tooka shadow being implied as Ahsoka.

Barrel straight to the face. That’s gotta hurt.

That’s gotta be Barriss, right?

Barriss, in the conservatory, with the lead piping.

It’s pretty clear that Barriss is the more powerful Force user and fighter. She seems a long way away from the almost meek and timid padawan we saw in early season 2.

Was that a very brief hint of Duel of the Fates?

The lightsaber fights have been getting better and better throughout TCW. It kicked up a notch at the start of season 5 with the fights between Obi-Wan and Maul and Savage. Then went up again in the fight between Palps, Maul and Savage at the end of the Mandalore arc. There was plenty wrong with the prequel trilogy but they did have consistently excellent lightsaber fights. From memory, this was because they hired a whole bunch of martial artists in a discipline that focused on fighting staffs who had been expelled from their own organisation because their fighting style was too aggressive and this ended up informing the fight choreography. Though this is going back many years now so I’m going to have to check that and establish if it’s not just my spotty memory playing tricks on me. I distinctly remember reading an article about it though. Memory is a funny thing. Anyway, that was one thing that stood out to me about the sequel trilogy. The lightsaber fights in that weren’t nearly as good as the ones in the prequels. So I’m glad to see TCW continue the high quality of lightsaber battles that the prequels started.

The evil character backlit by flames? How original! That’s about as subtle as the flames in the yellow eyes of Krell.

Poor Ahsoka. She’s trying so hard and it’s still not enough.

That grime on Ahsoka’s face made her look slightly like the Dark version of her from the Mortis arc. Which is probably the point.

Why didn’t you just stun her the first time Wolffe?

So now Anakin and Plo turn up.

Dammit, everything keeps going wrong for Ahsoka. Now the clones and the Jedi find Ahsoka next to crates full of the same explosive nano-droids used to blow up the temple (thanks for that exposition Wolffe). Can’t any of them see that this is all far too convenient and lining up too easily? Yes, yes, outsider perspective and all that. Still doesn’t mean I can’t feel upset for Ahsoka and how she’s been mistreated.

Oh that was definitely just a few notes from the Star Wars theme before it changed into something minor key related.

I’m still so pissed off and frustrated and upset and quite frankly disappointed by all of this. I just feel so sorry for Ahsoka. The trauma, abuse, mistreatment, and lack of belief in her is hitting really close to home too. That’s probably why what she’s going through is resonating with me so much and why I’m responding to this so strongly. This whole arc is affecting me a lot more than I thought it would. I don’t really know what else to add so it’s on to watch the final episode.

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