#the way Anakin's clinging to him after the trauma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

princessconsuelapark · 2 years

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look I know that most of the lore around master/padawan training bonds are only fanon, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility that some sort of more formal close force-relationship develops during the years of training. and as jedi are positively allergic to attachments, it would kinda make sense that once a padawan becomes a knight, they lose or reduce that bond as they continue on on their own.

now take anakin and obi-wan’s super unhealthy co-dependence, their extreme force sensitivity, both of them being sort of outsiders after the events surrounding qui-gon’s death, not to mention anakin joining the order much older than it is normal, as well as the chaotic circumstances just around the time anakin is becoming a knight (ie a war starting, which the two of them are kind of in charge of winning) and the fact they make an insanely good team together, meaning they are constantly sent on missions together, living in each others’ pockets.

there is no bloody way they severed their training bond. anakin, bless him, little orphan ani, desperately clinging onto anything or anyone who’s ever given him their attention or love, anyone his suspicious arse can well and truly trust, would never in his life let that happen. and obi-wan! he feels responsible for him, he promised he’d take care of the boy, but he’s an adult now and he loves him for who he is, his charming, impulsive, incredible self, and obi-wan of course lives for the force and to bask in anakin’s force-sensitivity, the way the force welcomes the two of them together, humming reassuringly through their bond? he will not give that up, no matter how guilty he feels about it.

and how many times does it save them through missions and on battlefields, not just feeling where the other’s going to be a few seconds before, but almost reading each other’s thoughts, moving together as if the other was an extension of themselves, how many times does it mean victory and is used for good, so how could obi-wan ever regret it, when it feels right?

and then of course it all blows up right in their faces, anakin becomes vader, obi-wan goes into hiding, and yet their training bond is still there.

obi-wan tells himself he’s not using the force because he needs to stay hidden, to protect luke, but while that’s true, he’s terrified of reaching out and feeling the absence of anakin, of the burnt, mangled edges of where their bond used to be. so he shuts himself off, cuts himself off from what he loves, losing himself in the force, the only thing that would help his wounds, his trauma, even if just a little. as much as he craves it, it’s what betrayed him as well, because he was bonded with the very man who’s caused all their downfall, and he couldn’t feel it himself, despite their bond, or maybe even because of it. he doesn’t quite trust himself with it, he’s read the force wrong, and look where it’s all led to.

so, of fucking course obi-wan doesn’t know vader survived, dude hasn’t used the force in years, spends his days as cut off from society as he possibly can. and well, it’s a shock to the fucking system, a whole new plane of misery, something unimaginably conflicting. he’s still thinking of him as anakin, and a part of obi-wan rejoices, almost reaching out in the force to welcome back the long-lost presence that has been a missing part of him for ten years, that makes him feel like he’s lost half of himself. but of course he’s also mortified. he hates himself for being too weak to kill him, blames himself for helping anakin become who he is today, for all the suffering he inadvertently caused by not stopping him.

but how could he have killed the person he was still bonded to, who was so intertwined with his own self, whose force signature he knew better than his own, still sensing him in his dreams, seeing him in mirages. did he make a mistake? should he have severed the bond when anakin became a knight? he doesn’t think he would have been able to. he’s too weak. too attached, a failure of a jedi.

so here we go then. for the first time in a decade he lets himself not jerk back from the force when it calls to him, not block himself off, or very carefully limit it to a confined little space around him.

it’s instinctive that he leans into the probing feeling in the force from vader, his soul still recognising the other like its missing counterpart. he barely knows what he’s doing, leaning against that door, he’s out of his mind with pain and fear, because he can feel him, like he’s always been there, so horrifyingly mangled and disfigured, but still so so very much him.

he chokes on air, panics, like never before. he can’t stop himself, years and decades of habit and co-dependence makes him search back, if perhaps not reach out, at least not willingly, but let the other in. their old bond, their training bond they could never bring themselves to cut off is still there, linking them together forever, full of pain and blood and misery and hatred and betrayal and love, but there, intact. obi-wan still feels him even under all the metal of the suit, the force just as strong within him as ever, calling out to him so familiar, like they are meant to be connected.

so yeah. talk about a ptsd trigger. so obi-wan becomes a pro at force-shielding himself, because he is positively terrified of the sliver of love he still has for the man, could throw up just thinking about how he’s still bonded to such a monstrous being, but he’s still unwilling to consider giving the bond up, tells himself it could prove useful, or that attempting to unbond them would alert vader to his location. it’s just the same with not being able to kill him, not then, back in the day, and not now. he just can’t. every fibre of his force-sensitive being is telling him he can’t, because vader is almost a part of him.

so he just gets better and better at blocking himself in completely, because it’s too fucking painful (and dangerous of course), building force-barricades and trapdoors in his mind, meditates until no one could possibly break through. and then! another fucking eternity later, obi-wan finds himself on the same space station as him, and this time he’s come to die, so there’s no point in hiding anymore. he throws caution to the wind, lets himself feel the force again like he hasn’t in a long time, lets himself search for the bond. and they fucking feel each other from the other side of that godforsaken planet-sized murder ship and vader recognises him, like no time has passed, because of course he does.

and like. i am willing to die on this hill. their training bond is still fucking intact until the very moment vader strikes him down and obi-wan becomes one with the force forever. and probably even beyond that.

anyway, just. yeah. training bonds.

#star wars #kenobi #obi wan kenobi #kenobi 2022 #anakin skywalker #obikin #my post #two little jedi dearest to my heart #obi wan x anakin #anakin x obi wan #kenobi spoilers #kinda?#look i'm calling the death star a ship dunno if that's controversial but like that's what it is okay a really really big ship

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

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Hey, I have a question? I hope I'm not imposing though. You've done Ben being Dad-Shaped to Anakin and Ahsoka, and Anakin being Dad-Shaped to Baby Ben and Baby Soka. And all of them being flung into the past. Have you considered Ahsoka being Mom-Shaped, or older sister-shaped to little Obi-Wan and Anakin? To complete the set? :)

I have, actually, but not really with Ahsoka being a mom? It's more like. Okay.

Trauma time!

Ahsoka is about three bad minutes away from having a meltdown. She holds it together, because she has to. The adrenaline is still holding her up, but she has no idea how long that's going to last.

"Did someone call Cody?" she asks.

"He's on his way," Jesse assures her.

Good. Great. Okay. Cody can be in charge.

"Who's Cody?" Anakin Skywalker, age nine, asks. "Is he another Jedi?"

"No, he's the Marshall Commander," she says, and then clarifies with, "It means he's ranked very high in the army, and we need his opinion on how to handle, um, this."

"This being..." Obi-Wan Kenobi--age... fourteen? She thinks fourteen--prompts her.

"Well, er," she dithers, because even if Obi-Wan's been polite enough to not demand an explanation from her when she'd tossed tiny little Anakin at him in the middle of a warzone and screamed at him to take cover while she handled the droids, she hasn't had the mental energy to figure out how to explain what's going on. "You... being here... like that."

One of the clones laughs for a fraction of a second, choked and a little hysterical. She thinks it's Hardcase. She doesn't bother to acknowledge it; the situation is insane, and he deserves to find humor where he can.

"Like...?" Obi-Wan prompts again.

"Fourteen?" She says, voice pitching up in hesitation for the explanation, and also a little because she's not sure he's actually fourteen and not a different age.

He stares at her, both disbelieving and waiting.

"Where's Master Qui-Gon?" he asks, after a few long moments, clearly thinking she's insane. Anakin perks up, recognizing the name, and the way he's clinging to Obi-Wan's robes is really just adorable. It's probably because Ahsoka had charged him to take care of little Anakin, and Obi-Wan had actually followed through...

"Um," she says instead. "Dead. About twelve years ago, now."

Obi-Wan's eyes widen, face paling beneath the dirt and soot of the battlefield, and he steps back. Anakin moves with him, still clutching at the tattered padawan robes that Obi-Wan's dressed in.

"Right," Ahsoka says, grimacing and running a hand over her face. "You need a sitrep."

"A sitrep?" he demands.

Right. Nobody really used that military terminology until the war started.

"This morning, you were thirty-seven," she tells him, as plainly as she can. "Anakin was twenty-one. You've lost about twenty-five years, and he's lost about twelve. I'm not going to pretend to know why that much, but since Ventress was mucking around on the battlefield with what I'm pretty sure is Nightsister magics, I'm going to go ahead and say it was her fault."

"I have no idea who that is," Obi-Wan says, and Ahsoka's eyes track how he tucks Anakin into his side with that.

"Yeah, she crawled out of the woodwork when the war started," Ahsoka mutters.

"...there's a war?" Obi-Wan asks, and he sounds scared and resigned, and her heart pulls, but... no. She needs to keep it together.

"What's the last thing you remember?" she asks, fighting the urge to lean over. They're not crechelings, or at least Obi-Wan isn't.

"Mister Jinn was taking me to the Naboo ship," Anakin says, voice quiet and hesitant. "I just said goodbye to my mom, and Mister Jinn was going to take me to Coruscant to be a Jedi."

Ahsoka only barely knows the surface details of the Naboo clusterfuck, but she's pretty sure the worst parts of it happened after Tatooine.

"Melida/Daan," Obi-Wan says. She doesn't recognize the name, and he must read it in her face. "Planetary civil war, two factions, blood feuds. I've spent the past six months... well, the past six from my perspective, aiding a third faction made up of the children of the planet that wanted that war to end. I didn't expect to be welcomed back into the Jedi, but I gather that I was invited back at some point, since you seem to know my older self personally."

Oh great, Obi-Wan's come out of one war where he was in charge of child soldiers and directly into another... where he's in charge of at least one child soldier--Ahsoka herself--and the clones that are technically younger than--nope! Nope. She has to keep it calm and cool and handle this. No philosophical misery. She's got shit to do.

She shakes her head, hand to her forehead. "Right, that. Okay, as of two years ago, the Jedi were put in charge of an army of clones by the Senate. I am not the right person to explain all the political kriffery that went into that decision, but suffice to say, we didn't get much choice about it. All considered, I'm pretty sure you guys don't remember the future at all, so that means that, as the more senior padawan here, I'm currently the highest ranking Jedi on either of the ships."

"How big are the ships?" Anakin pipes up.

"Big," she says. "Over a thousand meters long."

"Each of the Venator class ships are set up to house a force of seven thousand, four hundred personnel for long-term campaigns, with cargo space for up to two years worth of supplies when rationed, but they can carry up to two thousand additional troops if necessary," Rex rattles off behind her. She thinks he'd be amused at the questions, if this were an actual child. It's not. "The one we're on is called The Resolute."

"Cool," Anakin whispers, and then immediately clings to Obi-Wan's robes again.

"Yep," Ahsoka agrees with him. "Unfortunately, I'm... not sure what to do with either of you, since I don't know how to get you back to the ages you're supposed to be, and I'm sure as hell not dragging a nine-year-old into battle--"

"I can help!"

Obi-Wan looks pained. Given what little information he's just given her about Melida/Daan... yeah. No.

"Cool, then you can help the engineers do repairs after," she says. "Still not taking you into battle. You're small, you can help fit into weird places that need wires fixed."

Anakin wrinkles his nose, but nods. Obi-Wan is relieved. So is Ahsoka, admittedly.

"Right," Ahsoka says. "Okay. With you two no longer fit for duty... until Cody gets here, Captain Rex is in charge. If anyone questions this, point them at me."

"Why would they question it?" Obi-Wan asks.

Ahsoka eyes him for a moment, and then sighs. "Just... I mentioned they were clones. Some of the admiralty--the natborn officers we picked up from planets with active militaries that could contribute to the war as tactical advisors--don't always respect that the clones know what they're doing. Also Rex isn't technically ranked as a commander because of some really stupid reasons, so isn't the SiC of the 501st on paper, but that's what happens in practice, so he's in charge until Skyguy's an adult again."

She senses Rex give a jaunty, jaded salute from behind her.

"Commander Cody is the CMC of the Third Systems Army," she continues, "and the SiC for High Jedi General, Master Kenobi."

Obi-Wan's eyes are already on her, but Ahsoka gets to the feeling that she'd have snagged his attention with that no matter what.

"You said I was thirty-seven," he points out. "I can't be a master y--"

"Master and Council Member," she corrects. "As of age thirty-six, I believe. And, well, you're only a month away from thirty-eight."

Anakin's whisper breaks the silence. "You're old."

Obi-Wan's irritation can't pick a form.

Ahsoka grimaces. "Most Council members are High Generals; I'm pretty sure you were elevated to the Council in order to make you a High General because you had more prior experience than most Jedi; I only know about the stint in Mandalore, but I've been told there's more; I'm guessing this Melida/Daan thing is included."

Obi-Wan is going a little less 'irritated' and a little more 'upset' as she talks.

She keeps going anyway. "The GAR consists of ten systems armies plus special forces. Your older self, as a high general, is in charge of one of those systems armies, which is... just under three hundred thousand clones, plus assorted Jedi, admiralty, civilian officers, and other personnel."

Obi-Wan is currently full of horror.

"I can't..."

"And you won't," she says, sharp as she can. "You're fourteen. You're the same age I was when I was thrown into this, which means padawan, which means commander, which means two thousand, three hundred, and four troopers maximum, and even then you'd be relying on the battalion majors to do most of the leadership until you got accustomed to it. I am damn well not suggesting we put a teenager in charge of a systems army; I may be just a padawan, but I'm pretty sure the Council will say the same."

Obi-Wan just stares at her.

"Which... I do need to talk to them," she admits. She sighs and rubs at a montral. "Kix is our CMO; follow him to medical to get a full workup. He can check for the normal stuff, but please be patient for the other scans. If we're lucky, the bloodwork or something will turn up whatever Ventress used. Unless you have questions?"

"You were friends with older me, right?" Anakin asks.

"Ah, you--I mean, he?" She waits for Anakin to shrug, and then forges on. "He's my Jedi Master, my teacher. Basically my older brother, since the age difference is only five and a half years instead of the usual twenty or more. So, um. Yeah. 'Friends' works?"

Anakin nods seriously. He seems to be thinking very hard about something.

"Ani?" Obi-Wan prompts quietly, running a hand over Anakin's hair.

"We have our clothes," Anakin says carefully. "So it's not just our bodies that changed, right?"

"Your older self has a prosthetic arm that one of the shinies managed to grab from the battlefield, so we have proof that that's happening," Jesse confirms.

Ahsoka waits for Anakin to put his thoughts together.

"Mister... um, Master Qui-Gon turned it off already," Anakin says, eyes on the ground, "so I don't think I'm going to blow up, but what if this stuff accidentally turned it back on again and it explodes?"

Ahsoka feels her stomach drop, and she's not the only one. She's not sure what he means, mind jangling with ideas, but there's a haunted look in Obi-Wan's eye that says that maybe... maybe he does.

"Anakin?" Ahsoka asks, going to one knee in front of him and tugging his chin up to look at her. "I don't know what it is that you're talking about. Why would you blow up?"

He blinks at her, innocent as anything. "My slave chip. If I get too far from the remote, boom!"

He does a little move to emphasize it, and Ahsoka freezes.

"Kix is going to do a scan for it and take it out," she says, not even asking for confirmation from medical. She doesn't have to. They'd do this, of course they'd take it out. "You're not going to blow up. I promise."

"Okay," Anakin says. He's relieved, but blase about it in a way she hates. "What do I call you?"

"Your older self calls me Snips," she tells him, still feeling a little far away. "But if that feels too familiar, you can call me Ahsoka, or Padawan Tano."

"Okay, Ahsoka."

Kix leads Anakin away, but Obi-Wan hangs back. They don't look at each other, just Anakin walking off and listening to Kix explain the basic shape of a medical exam.

"You knew what he was talking about before I did," Ahsoka says.

"I have experience with such things," Obi-Wan tells her. "It was only a few days for me, though. Explosive collar with Force-nullifying properties."

She sighs heavily and presses the heel of her palm to her eye. "Right. He seems attached to you already; do you mind taking point on childcare until we can get him to the Temple? I'd ask one of the desk jockeys to handle it, but--"

"But I'm a Jedi," Obi-Wan interrupts. "And I'll know what he needs better than someone Force-Null would, and until I learn your protocols and regulations, I'm less useful than the so-called desk jockeys are."

"No, you're still more useful than the natborn officers," she assures him. "Half of them cause more problems than they solve, just by hating the boys. But no, it's more that Anakin trusts you, and since your future self was his Jedi Master..." she trails off, trying to untangle the look on his face; she's better at reading humans than she used to be. "Ah, yeah, you guessed already?"

"There's a ghost of a training bond," Obi-Wan admits.

"Yeah, you'll have an easier time handling him," she says, relieved. "Right, um, you catch up with those guys, and I'll go... explain things to the Council, I guess. Rex, with me?"

----

When Ahsoka finishes explaining to the Council why she's the one debriefing, and not either of her more qualified teachers, she gets a round of silence.

Half the council is eyeing Yoda, as if it's his fault that the entire lineage is prone to... this sort of mess.

(Ventress is Dooku's fault, and Dooku isn't actually Yoda's fault. Probably. Ahsoka's pretty sure.)

"Kenobi's most recent memories are of six months into the Melida/Daan conflict?" Master Windu asks. This is not the first time someone's pinged off of that part in particular.

"Yes, Master." It's not her place to question this. Master Kenobi never brought it up for a reason, and she's not going to dig while he can't make informed decisions about what to tell his grandpadawan.

She wants to know why he was there, and where Master Qui-Gon was, and why he thought he wouldn't be allowed back into the Jedi, but it's not her place to ask.

It's not.

"Is there anyone nearby that specializes in this sort of Force trick?" she asks instead. "I have no idea how to go about reversing it myself, and need to request aid from a Master. Barring that, I'd like permission to send a trooper to Coruscant with Anakin. He's Initiate age and I'd like to keep him off the field if we can't get him back to normal."

"You think it's a good idea to keep Kenobi with you?" Master Ti asks.

Ahsoka shrugs, not quite able to meet Master Ti's eyes. "He's the same age I was for Teth. Keeping him with me isn't my call, but I assumed he'd be shuffled into an open commander position with an active general. I can handle things for now, but I'm just a padawan."

"Tutor him, you would?" Yoda prompts. "To teach him, you intend?"

"I mean, if we can't get him turned back into an adult?" Ahsoka tries. She wishes she could look to Rex for support. "I don't know that I know much I could teach him that doesn't relate to the war. I'm only barely older than him, and my grades are... not the best, considering."

"If we cannot reverse the the age adjustment, then keeping you two together may be our best choice," Master Fisto muses. "You're not old enough for a knighthood, of course, but that wouldn't be what we're asking for. Admiral Yularen is a talented tactician, and your field skills are comparable to a General's. It would be a stopgap measure, but you and Padawan Kenobi combined are likely equal to a Knight in this regard."

She doubts it.

"Nobody's asking you to take him as your own padawan," Master Tiin says, and she thinks he's laughing at her behind the stoic, stern face. "Just to take point and keep him alive until we can either reverse the situation or adjust for it."

"Well, yeah," she says, trying not to show that she'd been weirdly concerned that it was what they were angling for. "Master Skywalker was barely old enough to take a padawan, and he was twenty, and had been a padawan for over ten years. I'm sixteen, and I've been a padawan for two."

Nobody argues with this.

"We'll not be sending in a knight ready for a padawan," Master Billaba muses, slow and considering. "Nor can we spare a master, I think."

"Depa?" Master Windu prompts, low enough that Ahsoka thinks he wasn't planning on the microphones picking it up.

"A fresh knight with the two padawans as support, but not actually the master to either," Master Billaba proposes. "It's an experienced legion, one that can largely run itself; it'll be fairly easy for this theoretical new knight to manage until Skywalker is returned to his more competent self. We need a more comprehensive plan for the Third Systems army, the council seat, and the 212th, but I believe that may be the best option for the 501st."

Realization seems to dawn on the rest of the Council. Ahsoka has no idea what that realization is, but she stifles the questions. They have a plan. They definitely do.

"My fleet is near enough that I can come to assess possible solutions to the age problem," Master Plo offers, and that, that right there, is what Ahsoka needed to hear.

"We look forward to your arrival, Master Koon."

----

"Barriss!"

Ahsoka throws herself at her friend, squeezing tightly. Barriss hugs her back, if hesitantly. "Hello, Ahsoka."

"What are you doing here?" Ahsoka asks, pushing away and looking the other girl up and down. "Did you change your look?"

Barriss smiles faintly. It doesn't reach her eyes. "Ah, a little. I've been knighted. They've asked me to head the 501st until your Master is well again."

A fresh knight with two padawans as support, but not Master to either, Master Billaba had said.

"I'm glad it's you," Ahsoka tells her.

Barriss smiles, but it's pained. "I hope it is only temporary, both for the sake of your masters, and for your chain of command."

Ahsoka's brow furrows. "What?"

"Your legion is deeply loyal to you, Ahsoka. I've seen that. I outrank you now, but what is to happen the first time we disagree on a course of action for a battle?" Barriss shakes her head. "The council did make it clear that this wouldn't last very long, at least. Transitioning a legion to new leadership hasn't gone smoothly more than a handful of times, especially when a padawan remains. With my knighthood being as fresh as it is--"

"You are willing problems into being." Ahsoka knew all of this already. She claps a hand on her friend's shoulder and squeezes. "We can make it work, okay? And when in doubt, we just make Cody or Rex decide."

"I outrank Captain Rex now," Barriss points out. "I already did, even as a commander."

"Ehhhh, debatable," Ahsoka says, wincing. "Rex has functionally been the commander for the legion since Skyguy got it. They couldn't officially promote him high enough because he's a CT, so he's technically a Major since that's how high they could promote him, but everyone knows he's basically the clone commander for the legion."

"...if he's a Major, then why does everyone call him Captain?"

"He says it feels like part of his name at this point, and if he's not going to have an official rank in line with his responsibilities anyway, then he might as well have people call him the one that sounds cooler."

"...I see."

Ahsoka gets the feeling that Barriss does not, in fact, see.

That's fine.

----

"Ahsoka!"

She turns and kneels, catching the nine-year-old flinging himself into her arms before she can even think. Barriss and Yularen pause in their conversation, but Rex keeps going.

Good man.

"Hey, Skyguy," Ahsoka greets, and she pulls back to look at the brilliant grin this tiny human child is giving her. It scares her, how small Anakin is. She's used to him being the tallest person in the room, even if she's catching up. "I thought you were supposed to be packing?"

"Obi-Wan said to come find you. A clone called him, someone called Cody?"

At that, Rex stops talking too.

Ahsoka doesn't frown, but it takes some effort. "Okay. Do you know why he called Obi-Wan?"

"He said he'd be arriving soon and wanted to know if Obi needed to be updated on anything before he got here," Anakin says. He bites his lip and looks away from Ahsoka. "I think he was worried about Obi."

"It's a worrying situation," Ahsoka tries to soothe. "Cody's pretty close to the older Obi-Wan, and the two of them are responsible for a lot of people. So Cody's stressed because he has to manage the army, and he's already worried about Obi-Wan, so it's making that worry stronger."

"Yeah, okay," Anakin says, pressing his face into her shoulder. "Can you come talk to Obi? He's being sad, too. I think he was looking at stuff about the war on the holonet, and I think he was trying to figure out if his friends from that other war he was in that he remembers are still alive."

She'd known it was coming. She'd known it when she gave him a datapad from the commissioned officers' storage. She'd known it when he'd wandered off, Anakin at his elbow, to sit in the rooms they were still occupying.

(She'd brushed off Anakin's questions about why they couldn't get their own datapads from their older selves with a comment about classified information. Obi-Wan's look had been almost too knowing.)

"I'm still sharing the general's quarters with Anakin and Obi-Wan, since it's set up for multiple people as a knight-and-padawan suite," Ahsoka says to Barriss. "We prepared one of the empty officer's rooms for you, if that's alright?"

"It'll suit just fine," Barriss assures her. Ahsoka has no idea if she's actually fine with it or just putting on a face. She's gotten harder to read, and being refused the actual general's rooms is arguably an insult to her new rank. Barriss is rational, though, and probably recognizes that it's worth keeping the two-bed suite for Ahsoka and her masters. It's not that much bigger than the empty room they've prepared...

"Do you mind if I take Anakin back to our rooms?" Ahsoka asks. "Admiral Yularen and Captain Rex should be able to handle anything that crops up, I think."

She hopes Barriss gets the message that she wants to check in on Obi-Wan. Ahsoka has no idea if she's been briefed on exactly when and where the other two's memories cut off, but... Obi-Wan's memories and body cut right into the center of his traumas. It's a horrid time to be pulled from, and the present a horrible one to be pulled to. Ahsoka's kept a montral out for his distress all day.

"Of course," Barriss says, dismissing them with a short nod.

Ahsoka picks up Anakin and sets him on her hip, ignores the slightly disapproving look from Barriss, and heads for their rooms.

(Anakin's too old for coddling, sure, except he's been torn from everything he knows and thrown into a war. If he finds comfort in Ahsoka carrying and cuddling him, then she will oblige. The rest of the Jedi can argue about it 'til the bantha come home, but Ahsoka's the one that actually has to deal with having a youngling on board.)

"Hey, Obi-Wan," Ahsoka says, and doesn't acknowledge the sniffles she hears, or the sleeve her grandmaster is rubbing at his eyes. She sets Anakin down, and while he hugs her for the moment, he runs back to stuff himself under Obi-Wan's arm as the door hisses shut. "Okay. I'm thinking we all need some tea. How does sapir sound?"

"You have sapir?" Obi-Wan asks, voice rough.

"Your older self visits our ship often enough that we keep a stock on board," Ahsoka tells him. She goes to the kitchenette and starts up the electric kettle. "I can't promise I'll make it perfectly, but it should be passable, at least. Sugar or honey?"

"No, thank you."

"I can have honey?" Anakin asks, and Ahsoka hears Obi-Wan pull the younger boy closer. She imagines she'd see something stricken and protective in his face, if she turned around. She doesn't.

"Sure can," Ahsoka says instead. "You'll have to mess around with how much, though. Older you mostly drinks caff, and tastes change with age anyway, so I don't know how much honey you'd want."

By the time she gets to the table with everything, the honey bobbing along in the air behind her, Anakin is still tucked into Obi-Wan's side. He pulls away a little when Ahsoka starts pouring the tea, and Obi-Wan...

Ah. He's an ugly crier. She wouldn't have guessed. His face is... very splotchy. His eyes are all reddish. She's not sure if that's normal for humans. She hopes it is.

"Thank you," he says, when she passes him the cup. He takes a sip, and contemplates. He meets her eyes, and smirks just a little. It doesn't reach his eyes. "Adequate, I'd say."

She snorts. "I'd certainly hope so."

You taught me, after all.

----

IDK that’s where I ran out of steam

#disaster lineage #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #captain rex #Barriss Offee #star wars #the clone wars #de aging #phoenix answers asks #phoenix posts

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darthkruge · 3 years

Note

Okay okay okay so imagine Reader is abducted by the separatists because she ( or nb reader ) is a very well loved member of the senate. So obviously Anakin goes to save her, but his idiot plan gets him captured as well so then it's up to Reader to talk her way out of this mess, get to her idiot boyfriend, free him and then both of them try to make it out alive. Bonus points for Obi-Wan looking very tired and sick of Anakin's ideas in the background. What do you think?

Anakin Skywalker x Fem!Reader ~ Rescue Operations?

Summary: After the Reader is captured by the Separatists, Anakin rushes to save her. When this doesn’t work out, the Reader has to get her and her boyfriend out of this mess.

Warnings: Language, whump, one scene where the Reader gets beat up, Reader is a badass, Anakin is completely in love with his badass girlfriend and we love that for him

Words: 3.8k

A/N: Catherine, my love!! I’m sorry this took me so long, I have nothing to say for myself other than my poor organization skills. But I’m obsessed with this request, I hope I did it justice <3

gif credit (x)

You groaned as you opened your eyes and attempted to shake the drowsiness that seemed to cling to your very bones. You blinked, trying to get your bearings and remember what had happened. You were preparing for your speech at the Senate, trying to pass a peace treaty between the Republic and some smaller territories that were debating joining the fight against the Separatists. You’d been fighting for support for the treaty for months and you finally had the chance to give one last speech before the vote.

You’d been pacing in your Coruscant apartment, practicing the speech for your boyfriend a million times. After you finished your recitation, you exited the room, needing to get your notes that you’d seemed to misplace. So you went into your office and… nothing.

Why couldn’t you remember after that?! You opened the door to your office, walked inside, and…

You sighed as you came back to the present, leaning against the wall behind you and looking around. You were clearly in a cell of some sort and the Separatists were almost certainly behind this. You were still in your Senate attire, although it had been thoroughly scuffed up, and they’d taken your datapad and other communication devices. You felt around your boot and smiled. Your knife was still there. They must have assumed you wouldn’t be carrying a weapon to your speech and not done a thorough enough check. Whatever the reason, you were thanking the Maker it was still there.

Back in Coruscant, Anakin was walking the Temple halls in a crazed state. When you didn’t show up for your speech, he immediately panicked. He knew how important this treaty was for you and the entire Republic; you’d been going over it for forever and there is no way you’d just blow it off without telling anyone. The rest of the Senate was also concerned. You’d grown up in one of the poorer districts and, thus, had a sense of relatability and humility that most were drawn to. Whether or not they agreed with your policies, almost everyone could understand that you always kept the interest of the people at the forefront of your mind.

When Obi-Wan walked up to him with a ripped piece of your clothes and your scattered and crumpled notes, Anakin felt his heart drop.

“It was the Separatists. They must have knocked her out in her office and escaped through the vents.”

Upon seeing his absolutely heartbroken expression, Obi-Wan added, “We’ll get her back, Anakin. I promise.”

Anakin could only nod, ideas for a plan to save you already running round his head.

You’d been in this kriffing cell for four days now. Or maybe it was five? You were desperately trying to keep your wits about you but it was so hard; they brought you a tiny ration of food and water once a day and it was not near enough to keep your strength up. You’d spent your time trying to carve your way through the bars but your knife was no match and you quickly gave up, not wanting to dull the blade. You’d found a loose brick hidden around the floor and used the knife to cut it out, allowing you to hide your weapon under it on the off chance they searched you again.

You tried to think of a plan to escape but they hadn’t even opened your door yet. There was no way you could get out by yourself and, until someone came in that you could attack, it was pointless to even try. They kept you in complete darkness and silence, no way to tell how much time had passed aside from the daily rations. You assumed you were on a Separatist base but that proved unhelpful; they were widespread and the cell held no defining features of climate or location. You had tried calling out to see if anyone else was around. Each time, you were met with your own echo.

You stilled, hearing footsteps approach you. A Separatist guard opened your cell door, roughly pulling you out. You yelped, legs not cooperating after so long of sitting in the cramped cell. He led you into another room that was barely brighter than your own. Sizing up the guard, you felt fear creep in. No matter how hard you tried to banish your anxieties, knowing they’d only serve to lessen your already shaken focus, it was sometimes impossible.

“Tell us which planets are deserting.” He commanded.

You met his stare evenly, refusing to let your fear betray you. There was absolutely no chance you’d tell him anything. As soon as the Separatists learned which planets were thinking about joining the Republic, they’d send armies to wipe them out immediately. You refused to let that happen.

“Fine. Be that way.” The man pulled his fist back and sent it into your cheek, the impact sending sparks of pain throughout your entire body. He brought his foot up, kicking you in the gut and you fell harshly onto the floor. He grabbed you by your hair, hoisting up your body as if it were a ragdoll. You gathered your strength and spit in his face, enjoying the way his smug look disappeared. In retaliation, he slammed you into the wall, the impact making stars cloud your vision.

The man released you and you fell, your consciousness already starting to detach from your body. You tried to reason with yourself, hoping logic would aid you. This is a trauma response. I’m not going to die. My body can take this. I will black out, but I will wake up again. They’re not going to kill me. They need me alive. I’m not going to die. I’m not going to die. Somehow, the hardest part is this was banishing the thoughts of that beautiful boy from your head. You knew that if you allowed yourself to think of him, to fathom how he would blame himself should this be your end, you would give in.

Instead, you focussed on the physical pain you felt, on the rage you channeled to this guard. You hated how weak you felt, how exhausted you were. You allowed your mind to hone in on all the ways you could hurt this man, given you had your full strength. You let yourself hate yourself, appalled at how you couldn’t even fight back. With every punch he threw at you, you went further into your head, into the one place this man couldn’t touch. Eventually, your mind started spinning from dehydration, pain, and overexertion. All you could do was curl into a fetal position and hope it somehow stopped.

“What do you mean you’re going to find her?” Obi-Wan said, running after Anakin.

“It’s been days, Obi-Wan, days. There are only so many Separatist bases in the galaxy and Y/N’s on one of them.”

“Anakin, don’t you think they’ve planned for a rescue mission?! This is Senator L/N we’re talking about! And they took her right before the vote, this was clearly a thought-out attack, stop acting like it’s simple!”

“It is simple! Those Separatist assholes have Y/N. And it’s been days. What if she thinks we forgot about her? What if she thinks we’ve given up? They could be doing fucking anything to her and I’m not going to let her stay there for another minute!”

“Anakin-” Obi-Wan began but Anakin waved him off.

“I’m sorry, Master. But if the Council won’t do anything, I will.”

“Anakin, the Council is trying! They just don’t have enough troops right now to send a full rescue mission after one Senator. They just want a few more days, then some troops should be back from their missions and you can have your full battalion.” Obi-Wan took a breath and lowered his voice, empathy for his friend clear in his words. “I know you love her. I want her back, too, you know. I’ve grown quite fond of her; her friendship is quite dear to me. All I’m asking is you be careful and think this through.”

“Believe me, I have thought this through. I wouldn’t do anything to put her in danger, we both know that. And while a few days doesn’t seem like much to the Council, we’ve seen the harm these Separatists can inflict in far less. Listen, it might not be the strongest plan I’ve ever made but, if it’s between a semi-formed plan and none at all, the choice is already made.”

With that, Anakin jumped into his ship and took off into the night. Obi-Wan sighed, leaning his head into his palm. He knew how much you meant to him and he knew of Anakin’s frustration with the Council. They moved slowly, wanting to figure out every angle before jumping into a decision. While Anakin was a brilliant strategist, he tended to act impulsively when someone he loved was in danger. As Anakin traveled further and further from Coruscant, the older Jedi could only hope that the both of you returned home quickly and safely.

Anakin looked at his ship’s display and cursed when he realized he was low on fuel. He’d been piloting for hours and there was still no sign of you. He was searching out for you with the Force and, still, nothing. Finally, he felt a faint energy pulse through the Force. He followed it to what was supposed to be an old abandoned Separatist base, concerned by how weak your lifeforce felt.

He parked the ship and got out carefully, trying not to alert anyone to his presence. He pulled out his lightsaber but was careful not to ignite it. He saw an open door and ran through it, relief blinding him as he felt your energy grow stronger with each step he took. He turned the corner and saw a crumpled body on the floor of a tiny cell.

No, Anakin thought, it can’t be her.

Without thinking, Anakin ignited his lightsaber, wanting to use the light to discern if the figure was truly you. The noise bounced off the walls and startled you awake. He mentally cursed himself and instinctively turned off the saber, not missing the even louder noise it made with it turned off. He inwardly facepalmed, realizing if he hadn’t alerted the guards before, they sure as hell knew now.

You blinked groggily, wincing at your immense injuries and bruises. You remembered passing out while that asshole beat you and now you-

Wait, You thought, is that a fucking lightsaber?

You knew you must have heard it wrong, there’s no way the Council would have approved a relief mission this quickly. Further, there is no way it would consist of just one Jedi.

Suddenly, the lightsaber re-lit, illuminating your boyfriend’s face. His determined expression grew stronger as he noticed the 10 guards surrounding him and pointing their blasters directly at his head. You smiled. He could take out ten guards with his eyes closed. You called to him in shock, hardly believing your eyes. He looked at you and immediately widened his eyes as he saw a guard come up behind you and point a blaster directly at you from outside your cell.

“Lightsaber on the floor, Jedi, or the girl dies.” The guard growled.

He looked at you in anguish and you could tell he was already beating himself up for “messing up” your escape plan. You shook your head, hoping he understood your message: this isn’t your fault.

“Anakin don’t-” You couldn’t even finish the sentence before his weapon was on the floor. He put his hands on his head. As they grabbed him, you stood in helpless silence as they threw him in the cell beside you. They locked the doors and, once again, you were in darkness.

You desperately crawled to the edge of your cell, trying to reach out to him. He was doing the same and when you felt his fingertips against yours, you almost started sobbing. You weren’t alone anymore.

“You came for me.” Your voice was soft, disbelief lacing your words.

“Of course I did, my love.”

Then, as if everything finally registered in your brain, you reached out and tried to slap his arm. “Anakin, what about the Council? They’ll kill you when they realize you went on a rescue mission, alone, and without approval! Ani, the only thing keeping me going in here was knowing that you were safe! And now you’ve gotten yourself thrown right next to me, no weapons, no light, no food, no water, no escape! What the fuck are we going to do?!”

Anakin had opened and closed his mouth multiple times throughout your speech, trying to find a way to plead his case but was left without one.

“I just wanted to save you.” The grief in his voice made you sigh and take a step back. This was your Anakin you were talking about. Your safety was his priority, always. Besides, doing all this because he was afraid for you? You couldn’t possibly stay mad. You smiled, despite yourself. Anakin. You thought, slightly shaking your head.

“Fuck, I love you. Is it selfish that there’s a small part of me that’s glad you’re here with me?” You said, breaking the silence.

Anakin breathed out a sigh of relief, glad you weren’t upset with him anymore. “Not at all, my love. So long as it isn’t bad that my least favorite part of this is not being able to see or kiss you properly because of this damn darkness.”

You chuckled, lacing your fingers with his once again. “You wouldn’t want to see me right now.”

Anakin froze. “Y/N? What are you talking about?” His voice was serious, clipped. He knew you would try and make it seem less than it was. You winced, realizing there was no way to lie your way out of this one.

“Just what the Separatists would call aggressive negotiations, I presume.”

“How bad?”

“It’s fine, Ani, I promise. Let’s just focus on getting out of here, okay?”

Anakin took a deep breath, collecting himself. “Alright. But as soon as we get back you’re going to a medical droid.”

You groaned. “Anakin I hate-”

“I know you hate the medical droids. But that’s only because they always rat you out when you try and lie to me about the extensiveness of your injuries.”

“You lie about how bad your injuries are, too! Remember that one time you came back from Kamino?!”

Anakin laughed, despite himself. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“You were literally bleeding from the head! And you said, and I quote, ‘it’s just a scratch’” Every time you thought back to that day, you were incredulous.

“Alright, alright! Let’s just focus on getting out of here.”

“That’s my line!”

“Y/N,” He warned.

You smiled. Maker, you missed him. You honestly didn’t think that anyone else would have you laughing while you were beaten and captured.

“Okay. What’s the plan?” Anakin said, back to the matter at hand.

You lowered your voice, leaning toward his cell so you could talk without being heard. “I snuck a knife in with me and I’ve been able to keep it a secret. Now that you’re here, it might actually come in handy. The problem was that I couldn’t stab anyone because no one would come into the cell. I need you to get them here. Push them against the side of your cell, the one closest to me, and I’ll stab them. Then while they’re hurt, you run out, unlatch my cell, and we’ll go.”

“I’m dating a fucking genius!” You could just about hear the smile in his voice.

You smirked. All things considered, you were pretty proud of yourself.

“When do you want to do this?”

“They bring daily food and water rations in the morning, I think? I can’t exactly tell what time it is, they’ve kept it so dark and isolated. Regardless, the next time they come by I need you to get them in here. They normally just leave the food outside and push it under the door.”

Anakin could hear the disorientation in your words and wanted nothing more than to be able to see you, to be able to hold you and reassure you that it would all be alright.

“Okay, angel. Got it.”

“Anakin?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming to get me. It’s really good to hear your voice.”

“Always, my love.”

Both of you silenced when you heard those footsteps. You smiled for the first time as you heard them. We’re going to get out of here.

“Yeah, that’s a great idea, Y/N! This brick in here is loose!” Anakin announced loudly. You bit your cheek to suppress a smile as you watched Anakin catch the guard’s attention.

“What did you say, Jedi?!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Anakin responded, dramatically feigning innocence.

The guard huffed and you internally cheered as he roughly opened the door. He walked over to your boyfriend, keeping the blaster pointed at him. As soon as the guard’s attention shifted to the “loose” brick, Anakin used the force to knock the blaster out of his hand and push him against the wall of the cell where you slashed his Achilles tendons.

The guard howled in pain and you knew you had to work quickly if you were to get out of here before the rest of the Separatists found you. Anakin fumbled with the latch on your cell, the immense darkness making it difficult. Finally, he got it open and ushered you out. The both of you took off in a run and he gripped your hand with his metal one as you did so.

You immediately stopped as you felt his hand roughly pulled from yours.

“We’ve got you now, Skywalker” The guard said.

“Y/N, you ready?”

You blinked, unsure what he was referring to. Then, you heard an object whipping through the air and on instinct shot your hand out, catching it. You ignited Anakin’s lightsaber that he had summoned to you with the Force, it’s signature buzz making you feel powerful beyond words.

The light caught you off guard and you squinted until your eyes adjusted. You saw Anakin held back by two guards. Hearing faint footsteps, you took off in a run. Anakin ducked as you swung wildly, hitting and taking out both guards.

“You done holding us up?” You said, extending your hand toward him once more and passing him his lightsaber.

Anakin smiled, accepting it. “My sincerest apologies.”

You both ran, hand-in-hand, until you finally made it to the exit.

“What?” You said, as Anakin stopped abruptly and looked at you, panicked.

“The ship! It’s out of fuel!”

“It’s what?!”

“I-” Anakin and you stared at each other, flickers of doubt coming into your gaze. You can’t believe that you’d been able to escape for nothing.

“Anakin! Y/N!”

You whipped your head around at the sound and were met with another ship a few meters down, Obi-Wan piloting it.

“Well? Are you coming, or what?” You and Anakin looked at each other in shock before taking off in a sprint, one guard now close behind you.

He started shooting and Anakin pulled out his lightsaber, deflecting some of the shots. As he focused on that, you pulled your knife back out of your boot and sent it flying into the guard’s chest, effectively stopping his pursuit.

Anakin smirked at you, awestruck. You shrugged before jumping into the ship, extending your arm to Anakin and helping to pull him up with you. You entered and immediately leaned against the wall of the ship, relief coursing through you. You laughed and Anakin joined in. He immediately pulled you into him, kissing you hard.

He broke away from the kiss, looking at you with adoration. “You are a fucking badass!! You’ve never even held a lightsaber and between that and your fucking tiny knife you took out four guards!! I didn’t even get any! I’m not going to lie, Y/N, I’m a bit jealous.”

You laughed, leaning into him but wincing. As the adrenaline wore off, your pain was suddenly quite palpable. He noticed and pulled back, scanning your face and body.

His smile fell as the extent of your injuries sunk in. Your busted cheek, scratched face, and ripped clothing that exposed some of your many bruises across your torso and limbs were overwhelming.

“You kids alright in there?” Obi-Wan said, walking in from the cockpit. His smile died on his face as well as he took in your form.

“I’m alright, guys. It’s not as bad as it looks.” You said dismissively.

“That doesn’t look like nothing!” Anakin shot back.

Obi-Wan looked at you apologetically. “Anakin’s right, Y/N. Please, rest. We’ll be back to Coruscant soon.”

Coruscant! The Senate! “My speech!! Fuck, I had to present my speech! I’ve been gone, what, a week? They’ve probably already voted, Kriff.”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “They decided to suspend the vote until you were back, Senator. They truly care for you and your policies.”

Your heart swelled at Obi-Wan’s words. You looked into Anakin’s eyes and saw that he agreed with the statement full heartedly. He took your hand and gently ran his thumb up and down its back.

“Rest, my love.” He whispered to you, coaxing you to lie down on the coach and pulling off his Jedi cloak. He wrapped it around you as a makeshift blanket, smiling as you pulled it closer to you and drifted off.

Obi-Wan walked up to Anakin and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Let’s leave her be, okay?”

“I don’t want her to wake up when I’m not here.”

The elder Jedi nodded in understanding. “She’s exhausted, she won’t awaken until we get back to the temple, I assure you. And if she does, you’ll just be in the other room.”

Anakin looked at you once more before smoothing the hair back from your face and gently placing a kiss on your forehead. He let his palm run down your cheek before he finally pulled himself away and walked into the cockpit with Obi-Wan.

“So, how did you plan pan out?”

Anakin looked at his former Master, unamused. “I think you already know. How’d you know to come get us, anyway?”

“Well, when you didn’t come back or even attempt to contact the Council for over a day I assumed something had happened. I tracked your ship.”

Anakin nodded. “If not for Y/N, we’d probably both be dead.”

Obi-Wan laughed. “I heard! Four guards?! You’ve found yourself a good one.”

Anakin smiled. No words were needed, everyone knew that was completely and utterly true.

------

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wonderlandleighleigh · 4 years

Note

Im in the mood for hurt/comfort if you’re able. Could you do a continuation of either Time After Time after Time or the one where Anakin deals with his slave past? Just something with Obi-Wan giving Anakin a hug. Please.

(A follow up to this)

They don’t speak to each other for days, Anakin avoiding Obi-Wan as much as he can, spending his time in group lightsaber training, and otherwise confined to his Padawan quarters.

Obi-Wan knows that he’s spending his time on builds and fix-its. He’s allowed Anakin to keep a shelf of spare parts and tools in his tiny room, knowing that those are the things that comfort the boy.

At the end of the third day, Obi-Wan takes a deep, cleansing breath and taps on Anakin’s door. It takes a moment to open, but it does, and Anakin stands before him, looking tired, and pale.

“Yes?” he asks quietly.

“I was hoping you’d take a walk with me in the gardens.”

Anakin looks away, scuffing a foot against the floor. “I’m busy. Master Windu broke his commlink and I’m fixing it.”

“Then...then perhaps we can sit in your quarters while you work.”

His Padawan hesitates, but then nods and lets Obi-Wan into the little room, and they sit quietly as Anakin gets back to work.

“We should talk,” Obi-Wan says quietly. “About what happened. About the things we said.”

Anakin says nothing.

“I...I do get frustrated with you, sometimes, Anakin,” he goes on. “I try not to. I know that my frustration doesn’t help either of us.”

Still, no answer.

“I fear that when ou became my Padawan, I wasn’t ready to be a teacher. And you...you needed more than I could give you.”

Anakin takes a breath and finally looks up from the broken commlink. “Just say what you’re going to say, so I can either be assigned a new Master, or thrown out of the order.”

Obi-Wan shakes his head, looking confused. “What-no. Anakin, that’s not what this conversation is, it’s an apology.”

The seventeen-year-old looks baffled as well.

“Because you were right,” Obi-Wan says, looking guilty. “I don’t...I don’t understand the things that you went through. Not really. And I never truly will, because I did not live through them. But you did and my frustration with your trauma is insensitive and unproductive.”

Anakin stares at him, shock written all over his face.

“I know we cannot start over,” Obi-Wan tells him. “But I’d like to try and make things better.”

The young man swallows, a million emotions playing across his face as he fiddles with his tools. “I...I’ve tried so hard, Obi-Wan. To...to be the Padawan I’m supposed to be. To swallow down all of the things I feel. To forget about my past...about my mom...but...”

“But it’s always there,” Obi-Wan nods. “Right behind you. Every time you turn around.”

“It is,” Anakin says shakily.

“Because it’s unfinished,” Obi-Wan says, looking thoughtful. “Because...because your mother is still in slavery.”

The heartbreak that settles over Anakin’s face and in his Force presence is almost overwhelming, and Obi-Wan nods a little.

“Then...perhaps it’s time we did something about that,” he says gently.

“But...but the Council said-”

“I know,” Obi-Wan nods. “And normally, I would obey their ruling. But I’m making an exception. Just this once, because I believe that it will help you to move forward...and because it is the right thing to do. But you know that we cannot bring her to Coruscant. We must find another planet to settle her on. We can talk about options on the way to Tatooine.”

He’s not expecting it when the boy launches himself at him, clinging to Obi-Wan, his face pressed into his shoulder.

“Thanks you, Master.”

Obi-Wan sighs softly, resting a hand between Anakin’s shoulder blades, wondering if he’s truly making the right decision here.

He very much hopes so.

#fic #au #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Anakin Skywalker #Anonymous

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norcumii · 4 years

Text

HAPPY (slightly late) BIRTHDAY, @aces-to-apples! I have some fic for you! :D

Minor apologies to everyone, because this latched on to my brain and would not let go, even though I meant to be more moderate and do Life Things today.

No regrets.

This is a post-war fic, where Everyone Lives (except Sidious because fuck him, and Krell because fuck him too) and things are rather different. Main pairing is Padme/Anakin/Rex, with background mention of Ahsoka/Steela and Jesse/Maul/Kix, because that’s Apples’ jam. HIGH CITRUS RATING. Sorry not sorry at all.

*********

It’s their third anniversary, and the fourth anniversary of the end to the Clone Wars. Like always, it’s a weird day, full of a mix of emotions and a few official appearances they couldn’t get out of. As a senator, Padmé still has to go to the morning session commemorating the Attack on Coruscant, while Rex and Anakin have to smile for cameras along with the other significant military figures laying mementos at the GAR commemorative wall. That’s at least a good chance to catch up with anyone they haven’t seen lately, what with Echo and Fives still being in the army, Ahsoka and Steela living it up as bounty hunters, Cody and Obi-Wan being themselves, and any number of other former officers and Jedi.

It’s after lunch that they have time to themselves. All three eat light in public, so they get to cuddle together in the living room for a set of their favorite light snacks. It’s a quiet time, while most of Coruscant winds up from ‘solemn remembrance’ to ‘celebration.’

There’s too many memories for them to celebrate. Oh, sure, the whole winning the war thing was good. The betrayal – Anakin’s friend, Padmé’s mentor, who tried very hard to kill Fives and oh yes, brain wash the entire army – it’s just too much.

Rex doesn’t even bother with a melancholy but vicious variations on ‘good riddance to bad rubbish’ that he indulged in the prior years. They’re just glad Palpatine is gone, they’re still here, and that they get this time close with each other.

Being tangled up together means that they can feel the slow relaxation, as clinging turns to sprawling, and being who they are a restless energy grows. Rex – who still struggles with the concept of downtime – is the one to separate first, and Padmé asks, “Shooting range?” in an innocent tone as if the thought just happens to cross her mind. Rex’s grin is still too sharp, which means even more reason for Anakin to drive their speeder to Padmé’s favorite range. It’s a layer further down that probably any other senator would even dream of considering a visit to, near enough to CoCo Town to be busy, but distant enough that celebrations are off elsewhere.

Like last year, Padmé rented the place out, so it’s just them and the two bored – well armed – grandparent-y types keeping an eye on things more out of habit than anything. They keep out front at the store part, once again involved in a holochess game Anakin couldn’t swear has changed a single move since last year.

Rex leads the way inside, Padmé stopping for a quick chat with the owners. Anakin sidles around her, to find Rex is already checking the available weapons over and making vaguely disgruntled noises which means the weapons are superb for civilian care, even if that might not be up to the GAR’s standards.

Or maybe just Rex’s, but to Anakin it’s the same.

He settles onto the floor where he can see both Rex and Padmé shooting, as the two efficiently check over weapons and ammo, and then begin to methodically take down a number of plas targets. They start off simple, then as they relax further it leads to teasing competition and trick-shots that would make other patrons rather nervous, which is why Padmé reserved the place just for them.

Anakin loves watching them like this, the whole spectrum from cool, murderous professionals to giddy playfulness that’s still beautifully terrifying. Padmé tried to tease him once about having a ridiculous competence kink, but that fizzled when she invited Rex into the ‘discussion’ and he’d just stared at her for a genuinely confused moment before asking “doesn’t everyone?”

Anakin slips into meditation, because the day’s built up too many ghosts for someone with his sensitivity to the Force. He works to center himself, to let go of so much pain, and it takes time. Letting go of what in retrospect was years of Palpatine dripping poison into his ears, while maneuvering the Jedi Order into political corners and away from moderate – reasonable and sane! – doctrine. Letting go of the fear that Obi-Wan and Cody might not be able to right that particular ship, and fix the Order’s extremes even with the help and support of the Council and especially Mace.

He works to heal just a little bit more of the emotional wound from Ahsoka leaving the Order, a good move for her and her life but still biting deep at his own insecurities and fragile sense of self that still, four years on, hasn’t fully recovered.

It wasn’t a betrayal, not like Palpatine, but it still hurt him.

The old fears surge up a moment, and he allows himself to face them. Anakin doesn’t like considering the what ifs from Mandalore. What if Maul hadn’t been creating an elaborate means to get Anakin and Obi-Wan away from the Chancellor’s grasp and manipulations; what if Jesse hadn’t listened to and accepted Maul’s surrender, with vital intel about the Sith Lord and how to take him down.

He’s not surprised that Jesse, Kix, and Maul hadn’t returned for the celebration – this time of year is rough for all of them, but those three more than most, and Obi-Wan does much, much better not having to deal with his old nemesis ever, but especially now. They can manage to be on polite speaking terms in front of cameras – Maul’s paying off his debt to society after all – but it’s a fragile peace.

The feelings of care and affection sink into the light daze of meditation, and Anakin comes back to the present to find Rex on his right, Padmé to his left, all three cuddled up together again. He flushes a little and grins, disoriented by the way he’s surrounded by love but feeling lighter for having addressed and moved on just a little bit more from his issues. “Who won?” he asks, and Padmé’s grin is wicked while Rex’s is just a bit sweet – things so few besides him ever get to see.

“Both of us,” Rex declares, leaning in to kiss him slow and deep, seeing how Anakin needs to take his time coming back to the here and now. He doesn’t know how Rex always figures it out, but he appreciates it so much.

When they’re both breathless and pulling apart, Padmé sneaks in, peppering them both with teasing little kisses that are more than half nips but all invitation. Anakin chases those all the way to his feet, Rex steadying both him and Padmé.

“Come on,” she dares them, leading the way through the sidedoor to the sim room next door. Anakin’s honestly not sure what it’s called – it’s not like the place advertises it – but Rex took one look and was so pleased at a sim room that’s what they call it amongst themselves.

One of the owners helps them suit up, while the other picks out a maze design. There’s a lot of clunking and creaking noises as the variable panels around the auditorium-sized space realign, creating a mock battleground they’ll get to play in.

Since Rex cheats and memorizes layouts more on first instinct than intent, he’s politely turned so his back’s to the developing design, fussily readjusting every single strap to the bodysuit padding before checking over their weapons. They’re toys, with lasers that are light and nothing else – Anakin’s certain the power sources couldn’t produce anything more and he’s said – multiple times over – not that it stops Rex.

Padmé, who cheats shamelessly, keeps an eye on the way the panels are rearranging, and she’s the first one pelting off as soon as they have the green light. The artificial fog is just starting to filter in as Anakin breaks right and Rex breaks left, separating to their own starting points before the game’s signal buzzes to begin.

Anakin listens to the Force well enough to be a terrifying shot, and gravity is more optional for him than most people. Rex has trained essentially from birth to be terrifying in combat. Padmé is clever, small, and swift, not to mention ready to sneak in any advantage she can slice out of an opportunity.

Even playing nice, and with Anakin not cheating with the Force too much, the laser tag game is brutal and goes on for a delightfully long time. Rex probably won, though they don’t bother asking what the suits registered for scores on their way out.

They’re relaxed in truth as they stroll down to Dex’s – the walk’s a little long, but it’s nice to have Padmé under one arm and Rex under the other as they wander through the crowds.

Ok, so it is more than a little mortifying when someone stops them to try to negotiate with Anakin for Rex’s services, but Padmé’s Force presence sings with amusement as she pretends to be offended and insists on negotiating with the idiot over her own services. She’s charging way more than the idiot can afford, and the embarrassed Pantoran finally beats a confused retreat because they “just wanted a nice time with the pretty man, not the scary lady”.

They’re still giggling over it as they stumble into Dex’s, Anakin dragging Padmé over to a booth while Rex places their orders at the counter. When he comes back to the table Anakin swaps so Rex is on the inside, and he’s braced for when Dex erupts from the kitchen, probably from recognizing their order. Anakin just has to press in a little, bumping shoulders with Rex who tenses in spite of himself. There’s the usual blush of frustration with himself in the Force, not that Anakin blames Rex for a bad reaction. Dex can be a lot, and given past experience with Krell....

He stays close, keeping Rex grounded with a light bump with his knee or brush of the arm whenever he can feel a tremble of trauma rattle through.

Rex settles quick, because Dex is an incredibly sweet being and Padmé is just that good at smoothing over the atmosphere when she tries – and for Rex, she’s always happy to go the extra mile.

When they finally leave for home, they’re well fed, relaxed, and content.

Of course the instant they’re back in the apartment they’re all over each other. It’s their anniversary, and the entire afternoon and evening has been one long game of teasingly-close-and-intimate but never over the line into anything sexual.

He didn’t used to have this kind of patience, but Padmé and Rex have worked long and hard to help him find it.

Anakin snags supplies from the bedroom, because this is definitely the kind of evening to enjoy the view from the main sitting room – and the nice, plush couches – as other people celebrate in a more public manner. He sets things up as Rex moves around Padmé, speaking low and teasing in that tone that sinks right into Anakin’s belly, getting him hard so damn fast. Rex is all kisses and caresses for her, deftly reaching under her clothes and pulling free a set of vibro-knives, a pretty little blaster from her back, and a hold-out pistol tucked into a boot. Rex moves behind her, kissing along the neck to whisper into her ear, getting a delighted laugh from Padmé as he starts carefully running his fingers through her hair. That pulls a deep groan from Anakin, because the way she looks, arched up towards Rex who’s curled over her, the play of calloused, strong fingers through her hair – they are unfairly gorgeous, and the wicked grin Rex sends him means he totally knows, and that’s part of why he’s doing this.

He pulls some lockpicks free of Padmé’s fancy hair style, ruining the last bits of styling to leave tousled curls around her shoulders, and Anakin thinks she looks better that way. Oh, she’s always beautiful, but that mix of artifice and mess always gut-punches him in the best way.

Rex turns back to rest his chin on Padmé’s head, earning an amused look from her before her eyes flutter closed and she moans, because he’s ghosting his hands down along her body – a bit too busy for a caress, but too gentle for a pat-down.

This is all a little game they play, just between themselves – Rex tries to find whatever toys and surprises Padmé’s hidden for a day, though he doesn’t tend to find everything. She’s had a lot of time to learn ridiculous ways to hide things, and she’s got three dedicated tailors willing to alter her fancy wardrobe in interesting ways.

Padmé has promised that if Rex does win, she’ll replace that expensive lingerie set they ruined last time, that gorgeous gold getup for Rex with the pretty gold chain dangles that drove Anakin wild. Not that he’d ever tell, but Anakin knows for a fact that she’s got the replacement already, tucked away in a discreet box in the depths of her terrifyingly large closet.

Rex ends with his hands on Padmé’s hips, nuzzling the skin behind her ear. Anakin can see how it makes her knees go weak, how Rex is supporting most her weight, and he’s tempted to just jack off here and now because they are gorgeous.

“That’s everything,” Rex declares, that deep rumble again that makes both Padmé and Anakin shiver.

“No,” she says, a bit breathy as she leans back so Rex has most of her weight in truth. “A little help, Ani?” She lifts a leg, and if he’s letting his hands wander and feel as he helps pull off her boot, no one minds.

The blaster holster is discreet, right next to the back seam, and Padmé pulls a thin bit of metal from inside that seam. It’s not wide enough to be an actual knife, but it has a wicked point and looks like in a pinch, it’d be great for stabbing into vital bits or throwing hard enough to confuse someone.

Rex looks genuinely put out, so he didn’t miss it on purpose. “I checked there!”

Padmé twists enough to kiss him an apology. “The holster’s specifically designed to conceal it. You’re meant to find the gun.”

Rex shoots an exasperated look to Anakin, who grins and shrugs back at him. He knows better than to wager against Padmé. Rex smirks and rolls his eyes, then gives him a look. Anakin can feel his intent in the Force, so he grins and nods back.

“Sneaky,” Rex grumbles, hoisting Padmé into his arms and a long kiss. She’s laughing when he pulls away, then shrieking giggles as Rex carefully tosses her in Anakin’s direction.

It’d be too far for even Rex to make, but Anakin uses the Force to catch her and draw Padmé into his arms. He gives her his own long kiss, enjoying the pleased noises she makes while twining her arms around him.

“Congratulations, Angel, you won,” he says, pulling away to gaze at her in helpless awe. He sinks down onto the couch, because even petite as she is, he doesn’t want to stand around holding her much longer. “How do you want to start this evening?”

Padmé reaches for the toys Anakin laid out, and trails her fingers over the strap-on harness with a teasing smirk. “I think I’d like you on your knees – the couch is just the right height, and you can see what you can do for Rex while I take care of you.”

He can’t stop a pleased noise escaping him, doesn’t even try as he clutches her closer. He enjoys the noise it pulls from her as his artificial hand clenches just a hair too tight – he’d calibrated it so precisely when first getting it, desperate to make sure he didn’t hurt her, only to find her very, very sheepishly asking at some point if he couldn’t be just a little rougher – not harsh, just enough to feel things.

Rex is better about knowing just where that line is, and he walks it beautifully, but Anakin can never quite figure out how to convince his brain that ‘worship’ can include roughness. It’s sometimes such a relief to just follow Rex’s lead, able to trust that someone knows exactly how far to push and how best to do it.

Doesn’t hurt that Rex enjoys that too.

“Maybe this one instead?” Rex asks, chuckling as if he can hear what Anakin’s thinking. He gently places a different dildo next to the strap-on, and Anakin shivers. That one’s got an interesting vibration system, so it doesn’t take long to beautifully scramble his brains but it only teases Padmé.

She makes a delighted, interested noise. “And then when I’m all riled up you’ll take care of me?”

“If I can stand again by then, I’ll fuck you on the table until you scream,” he rumbles, voice dark and promising. Ani can feel the way Padmé shivers, her breath catching as she arcs like she can already feel the Naboo-imported wood on her back.

“Yes, sir,” she breathes, and Ani can see Rex’s eyes dilate at that, dark and hungry as his tone had been.

Anakin doesn’t actually know when to stop pushing, but thankfully they know that. He reaches out, hand to Rex’s shoulder like it’s just another day on the battlefield and he’s giving a friendly shoulderpat. Except now he gets to slide his thumb under Rex’s shirt, trace lightly over some scars and the collarbone, watch Rex arc his neck as he sways in closer. “Tease her enough, take your time, and then we might have to return the favor.”

Rex lunges in for a fierce kiss, teeth clacking a bit before he rearranges to not squish Padmé quite as much between them. From her laughter, she doesn’t mind, and her squirming is turning interesting. Rex, the bastard, is smirking when he finally lets Anakin breathe. “It’s gonna take both of you.”

His brain might not be firing on full yet, but he doesn’t need thought to know what’s going on here. “Pssh, please,” he says, lofty and disdainful. “It’d only take Padmé, but I want to do more than watch.” Then his brain does catch up, and his expression falters. “Er, I mean. Not that I mind watching, just, uh....”

They just laugh, moving in to start helping Anakin out of his clothes. They don’t even need to say anything, which is kind. Anakin waits long enough for his prosthetic’s glove to come off – Rex has a fascination with the detailwork and feel of it that Anakin doesn’t understand, but he doesn’t question. Then he’s reaching back, and it’s a tangle of limbs and disappearing clothing, laughter and pleasure. He loves his spouses so much, his two beautiful badasses that can lead like gods and fight like nightmares – kind, and sometimes ridiculous, and all entirely his.

~end

#star wars #My writing #citrus #aces-to-apples #padme/rex/anakin #look i realized I wanted them playing laser tag on their anniversary and it just kinda spiraled out of control from there #long post is long

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legobiwan · 5 years

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Master and Apprentice: An Overview of Themes

Okay, so as many of you may have surmised, I adored this book. There’s so much to talk about in it and the ramifications of some of the themes play all the way up to the Sequel Trilogy.

To be honest, I’m not even sure where to start with everything I want to talk about, but I’m going start here with this basic outline of things I noticed and will dissemble from there over the next few days, weeks, whatever.

Lineage

“You inherit your parents' trauma but you will never fully understand it.”

So I will preface this part by saying that I am a huge fan of Bojack Horseman and this theme comes up again and again and again in this show. (As does the difficulty, but possibility, of breaking that cycle.)

This book is heavy on the behaviors and prejudices and patterns that get passed on through generations, or in this case, lineages. Dooku’s preoccupation with prophecy touches Rael, which touches Qui-gon, which touches Obi-wan, and of course, ultimately plays a huge role in Anakin’s life. Not only that, but Dooku’s restrained, demanding manner seems to have rubbed off on Qui-gon, who seemed to be constantly measuring up Obi-wan to an impossible metric and thinking it in his presence, which meant Obi-wan likely felt all of this and presto changeo we have a talented young Jedi who feels he is unworthy. This book really illustrates how Masters are as much parents as teachers, and how whatever issues the parent is dealing with gets passed down and processed, whether it be through rebellion, imitation, or a host of other reactions. Hell, the book mentions Yoda’s master (albeit not by name). I am *dying* to know who they were and what happened there.

Performance Art

Okay, so one of the initial main culprits is a group of performers who end up being branded as terrorists. First of all, this made musician-me CACKLE, period. But beyond that, there is a running theme of a performative aspect to government, to ceremony (Fanry perfects this), even to the Jedi themselves with their rituals, with their idealistic Code versus reality. Sidious was perhaps the best performance artist of the entire GFFA. And prophecy, to a certain degree, requires performance, requires actors to ingest a script and accept it as truth, and finally meet its demands of life’s stage. Is it foretold because the events must happen or because the actors choose to make them happen?

Prophecy

Which leads me into the thorniest topic of this book. Dooku was obsessed with prophecies. Qui-gon became obsessed with prophecy, to the point of breaking a thousand laws to get Anakin to Coruscant. And then Obi-wan was so devoted to Qui-gon, despite everything, that he told himself he had to believe in the prophecy, for Qui-gon’s sake (back to family issues there.)

How many of these prophecies ended up being self-fulfilling because of the actors involved? (Namely, Qui-gon.) Even when Qui-gon realizes his mistake is trying to control the future instead of accepting it, he goes ahead years later to manipulate circumstances so Anakin can be a Jedi. That’s not accepting the future, he cheated at dice to change the future, to control it. And that action set off an avalanche of consequences I doubt Qui-gon prepared for. In short, Qui-gon is a very fallible character here and shows a fair amount of egotism in terms of his relationship with prophecy.

I mean, the Force showed Qui-gon that he was “meant to misinterpret” his vision? I don’t even know where to start with the sheer audacity of that statement. Qui-gon doesn’t report his vision to the Council, because he thinks they won’t understand, thinks they’ll get mired in some minutiae of governance and not do anything substantial. And yes, the Council does dither, even Obi-wan notices it, but those controls are there for a reason and Qui-gon just runs roughshod over them, because he thinks he alone has the answers, that he alone can change the future.

And it kind of comes back to this whole Lineage issue where Dooku had this attitude that he alone knew the truth. I mean, he defects to the Sith partially to rid the Republic of corruption, and look at his Padawans - Rael and Qui-gon, both iconoclasts, both skirting the edge of...something, and it’s almost laughable that Qui-gon gets so upset with Rael’s disregard of certain parts of the Code (the killing of his Padawan part, of course, but also the celibacy part) because Qui-gon lies and cheats and pulls cons across the galaxy and disregards swaths of the Code at will. And you have to wonder, is this because Dooku was too independent, and if Dooku was that independent, how did Yoda’s training of Dooku play into that?

Then again, while family and upbringing play a huge part in a person’s actions and personality, they are not the only thing, they do not dictate the future. Nor do prophecies. And Qui-gon clings so much to these prophecies, just as Dooku did (and Dooku’s prophecy of choice, he who learns to conquer death will through his greatest student live again is just...it explains a lot as to why Dooku was so devoted to teaching, was so exacting on his students ((although I will never let go of the headcanon that Dooku actually enjoys teaching, because I feel that a personality like his needs someone to impart knowledge to)).

Prophecy, more often than not, becomes self-fulfilling prophecy, which is an interesting paradox. Prophecies are read, believed to be true, and are enacted by the actions of the very people (beings) who read them in the first place.

And thus they become prophecy.

I mean, no wonder Yoda wanted to burn the “sacred texts” by the time The Last Jedi rolls around. Prophecy becomes a way to abnegate responsibility for one’s actions, to deny, whether it’s Dooku seeking to avoid death, Qui-gon proclaiming he is a vessel for the will of the Force, or even Obi-wan claiming Luke as the Chosen One in Twin Suns. (Although, I wonder about that last one, as Obi-wan is naturally skeptical of prophecy. I mean, the Jedi do have the Force and are granted visions, but then again, they make decisions. They choose to turn to the Dark Side, choose to bend to the will of a hazy future which claims no specific actors...and I feel like Obi-wan’s references to prophecy are more an expression of familial love, of tribute to Qui-gon rather than a true belief that Anakin was "the” Chosen One. Obi-wan believed in Anakin himself above all else, even his better judgment.)

The Jinn-Kenobi Express

So...what is going on with these two?

In many ways, this is more of a Qui-gon book than an Obi-wan book, although we get plenty of insight to Obi-wan’s character. And one of the things I really appreciate about Claudia Gray is the fact that she seems aware of the Jedi Apprentice series, the kind of dynamic that created, and weaves this story in a way that does justice to those interactions and the limited time we see Qui-gon and Obi-wan together on screen.

And the thing is, Qui-gon is kind of a jerk to Obi-wan. From page two of this book, his is questioning Obi-wan, wondering why he hasn’t reached a certain point in his abilities yet (all while deliberately holding him back in areas like lightsaber combat, which is an astounding illustration of Qui-gon’s complete obliviousness to his own actions and ramifications of his actions). And, let’s be honest, Obi-wan is an empath - he wouldn’t be such a talented negotiator and diplomat if he weren’t (because, before anything else, you need to be able to read people, to know and feel their emotions in order to succeed at deals, treaties, and diplomacy). Obi-wan knew Qui-gon was questioning him, could feel it and this harkens back to those JA books where Qui-gon is kiiiind of a total douche, at times. And Obi-wan - rebellious, independent, self-esteem-lacking, so wanting someone’s approval Obi-wan...just falls right into this. It’s kind of an unhealthy dynamic, which resolves itself after Pijal, only to relapse all over again when Qui-gon finds Anakin and pulls his BS on Tatooine.

Here’s the thing. Qui-gon is not a bad person. I don’t hate Qui-gon, he has good motivations, he wants to make things better. He cares about Obi-wan, seeks advice from his old Master (not knowing Dooku has fallen, my god), tries to free all the slaves he encounters, wants to buck every piece of Jedi and Republic law in order to make the galaxy right. And, you know, I get it. I really do. But there’s idealism and then there’s trying to do the right thing within the systems (no matter how terrible) we have created and inching forward to change because to do otherwise would be to fight yourself in a paper bag.

Qui-gon is the living embodiment of the phrase “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

And Obi-wan knows this, knows Qui-gon is fallible, knows that his devotion to idealism, to prophecy is dangerous and yet he goes along with it anyway because Obi-wan’s greatest failing is his attachment. Obi-wan (the empath) cares too much and he can’t let go - not of Qui-gon, not of Satine, and certainly not of Anakin.

"Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.“ I mean, I’m not a Kylo Ren-stan by any means, but he’s not wrong. At least, not in a broad sense, not in the way that might have allowed Obi-wan to make some clearer-headed decisions about everything from his relationship with Qui-gon to Anakin to the Council.

In Conclusion

Dooku cared about his students but possibly feared death and thus possibly made his students his vessels to achieve the goal of immortality, despite enjoying teaching.

Qui-gon cared about Obi-wan as much as he did the betterment of the galaxy but was terrible at expressing it and put too much faith in himself, the Force, and prophecy.

Obi-wan cared almost too much about everyone but himself, replacing self-esteem with rules and the Code, devoting himself to the memory of Qui-gon and his wishes in his guilt over his survival of the encounter at Theed.

And this writer cares waaaaaay too much about these characters and will most definitely be writing more about this book because, to quote Obi-wan flying a ship in the middle of a ship: AAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH

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forcemetry-a · 4 years

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thinking about rotj and honestly i do stress that i draw too much from luke in how i characterize cal but i have realized that is. not really the case?

at its core sw is about defying whatever past you may have in order to meet the future. the conflict at the heart of the original trilogy is about light and dark, luke and anakin and how they both flow in and out of both sides of the force. honestly i consider the empire twist to be the first major one (back in 1981 nobody expected the hero and villain to be related). the second one is luke’s act of compassion, to turn to someone who has hurt you and forgive them. both of these twists are rooted in the idea of doing the opposite of what is expected and it’s why rey palpatine fucking sucks as a twist. yes family is a key part of sw but thats not where the impact came from. it was luke throwing away the lightsaber. it was being told the heartbreaking truth and growing stronger through acceptance.

cal’s story still has that core theme but is rooted much much deeper in intergenerational trauma. i’ve spoken previously about how cal trilla and merrin all display their trauma in different ways and how it is sort of indicative of their characters, but with cal specifically his entire arc is coming to terms with what happened in order 66. finding the holocron was initially about having a sense of purpose for him, something to give his life meaning. it was relying on the old for guidance. the scene on dathomir where he confronts tapal hit me so fucking hard not only because i was massively depressed at the time but because that’s what its like. its having to face up to your fear, your anger, your guilt and shame and having to accept it before you can let it go. i think this moment is the most significant in cal’s motivation to destroy the holocron rather than the inquisitor vision. it’s the point where he finally confronts that he cannot cling to his old ways anymore cause he will never be able to move on, and this includes the notion that rebuilding the order is the right thing to do. although the principles of the jedi guided him through his youth and still do, he realized and accepted that the order as it was is gone; rebuilding it as it was will only keep him trapped in his trauma. only after cal had accepted the events and forgave his younger self (since that was really what the vision was telling him, all his fears and doubts of the child hiding inside him all these years) could he begin to grow and try to stop the cycle perpetuating.

#this got. long woops #i’ll write an actual article about jfo and trauma one day. but not today #personals do not reblog or your knees are forfeit #i've got a bad feeling about this / ooc.#meta tag.

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inkognito97 · 7 years

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Quill and Oil

The ginger haired man stepped through the door that led to his café. He was already pulling of his oil stained gloves, followed by his equally ruined apron and pulled the two items on the shell next to the door. Afterwards he properly cleaned his hands and arms, just in case.

If somebody had told him that one day he would not only work in his own café, but also his own motorcycle workshop he would have laughed and declared the person totally insane. But it seemed that fate had other plans with him. It was actually quite an unusual story. It had started with his café at the edge of his home town, Coruscant. Not the best place, but it did not lack in customers.

With the café had came a large storage, which Obi-Wan had not used until a lonely biker had arrived and asked for a place where he could try to repair his bike. Since he had nothing to do at the moment, his café had been pretty new back then, he had helped the man. The ginger haired male knew a thing or two about bikes and motorcycles, for he himself owned one. In the end the machine had worked again and the man, he had introduced himself as Cody Fett, had been more than happy and grateful. The two men had immediately taken a liking towards each other. It also turned out that he had been searching for a place to open a workshop and maybe Obi-Wan would be interested to work hand in hand. Obi-Wan had agreed, it had been a decision with gut instinct, and Cody had brought his twin brother Rex the next day and started to work on the storage. Rex had worked to build up the workshop, Cody had promoted and made sure that people heard about the café-workshop and Obi-Wan had taken care of the café part. They had settled into a new name too, 'Biker's Coffee' was chosen. It was fitting for the biker’s who wanted their vehicles repaired, usually entered the café as well. That and it was very easy to remember.

Suddenly Obi-Wan was brought out of his musing when a pair of strong arms wrapped around his neck.

“Have you cleaned your hands on my uniform enough now?” Obi-Wan joked. He knew the twins would never do that on purpose.

“No, not yet,” Cody answered and the next moment he made sure his friend had a little bit of oil on his nose.

“Cody!” Obi-Wan laughed and some customers sent them amused looks. They knew their customers and the customers knew them. It was almost like an endless circle.

“Do you know what today is?” the older twin with the short brown hair and the conspicuous scar running over his left eye whispered. Neither Cody or Rex or Obi-Wan ever revealed to anyone how he had gotten that. To be honest, none of them really knew the whole story. It had been a driving accident, that much was clear, but Rex had been in the workshop, Obi-Wan in his café and Cody couldn't remember the whole day due to the trauma. Maybe it was even better this way. Obi-Wan on the other hand, could remember the incident as if it were yesterday. Rex had rushed panicked into the well visited café, completely beside himself and he had just grabbed the ginger haired man and almost yelled that he had just been called by the police that his brother was in hospital. They had closed both shops and Obi-Wan had driven them with his car.

Thankfully the only thing that remained was the scar, even though Rex might have lost a few nerves too. It had been early in their partnership, but Obi-Wan would never forget the worry he had felt.

“Mh,” Obi-Wan hummed and walked awkwardly with his best friend still clinging on him, towards the counter, “it's not your birthday and not Rex's either, I believe.”

“You do know that Rex and I have the same birthday date, don't you?” Cody teased right back. It had become their ritual over time.

“Really? Are you sure?” he retorted and struggled out of Cody's grasp to get behind his counter to put away the earned money in the register.

“Quite sure, yes,” Cody leaned over the counter.

“Are you two done flirting?” the voice of Obi-Wan's half brother interfered.

“Anakin,” the ginger haired man rolled his eyes, “how about you bring Cody something to drink?”

“Yes boss,” the young brown haired male saluted.

“You are the best,” the Fett brother said.

“That will be subtracted from your pay check.”

“As if I'd believe that. Now, since you seem to have absolutely no idea, I will remind you. It's our anniversary day, the three of us have been working together for six years now.”

“Oh dear, no wonder my hair is starting to turn grey.”

“Oh please, your hair looks exactly the same, just your style has changed. I like the short straight look and the way you have styled it. It suits you… better than the nerdy look with the full beard you sported when we met. The moustache makes you look younger, you know.”

Obi-Wan had to admit that he liked himself this way better. He used to sport a fully grown beard, but after a shaving mishap, he had decided to try something new, which is why he only had a small moustache that connected with the beard on his chin. This way his birthmark and dimples were not hidden anymore, but he had learned to live with them. His hairstyle however had not overcome such a drastic change however. He used to have a side crest, but now they were just unruly and styled up. Anakin had once joked that he looked like a wannabe rocker this way. Despite all of this, the ginger haired man gave his friend a pointed stare, “Your hairstyle back then was worse than mine, or do you want me to search for a picture.”

Brown eyes widened in horror, “Oh god, no.”

“Here you go,” Anakin said and sat two steaming cups on the counter, which Cody immediately took.

“Thank you, darling,” he said towards Anakin, while trying and failing to copy Obi-Wan's Scottish accent.

“You are unbelievable,” Anakin sputtered undignified and vanished again, no doubt to teach Ahsoka how to do her job. The young teenager was new in the business. Anakin had found her lunging around his apartment one day and since then practically adopted her. She was a quick learner and a sweet and kind girl, so Obi-Wan had immediately agreed on hiring her.

“Honestly, you would mean that your brother would be a little more open, considering that you are gay...” Cody said.

“Bi Cody, I am bi.” He rested his arms on the countertop, leaning just so much forward.

“Details,” the twin grinned, “Hey, what about the guy with the laptop?” He motioned with his head towards the said customer.

“What about him?” the younger male asked, confused by the sudden change of topic.

“He’s here every day and I could swear he gets more and more frustrated.” “I think he is writing something, a book perhaps,” Obi-Wan straightened up again and crossed his arms over his chest while looking back at his friend, “He seems to be kind of stuck though.”

“Maybe he could need some advice... or inspiration,” he shrugged as good as possible with the cups in his hands, “Well, I’ll be off for now. Thanks for the drinks and see you later.” “Yeah,” Obi-Wan agreed and turned to greet the next customer, who had just entered. His gaze then wandered involuntary back to the tall man sitting behind his laptop. He had his glasses in his left hand right now and was running his right hand through his short hair.

Obi-Wan sighed, “Whatever.”

The man with the short brown hair that was starting to turn grey, did not notice him approaching, until Obi-Wan put a freshly brewed cup of tea – he had remembered what the man had ordered previously - and one of Ahsoka’s self made strawberry cupcakes before him.

The man blinked up at him confused and he had the brightest and most beautiful blue eyes Obi-Wan had ever seen. The ginger haired barista smiled at the other male.

“I eh,” he cleared his throat, “I didn’t order that.” The ginger haired café and workshop owner immediately decided he liked his deep baritone voice and the Irish accent.

“I know,” Obi-Wan answered while collecting the empty tea cup and putting it on the black dinner tray he was carrying, “It’s on the house.”

The man blinked again, “Thank you, but why?”

Obi-Wan chuckled, “Because you look like you could use some inspiration,” he motioned with his head towards the blank page on the laptop’s writing program. “That and Ahsoka’s cupcakes are to die for,” he sighed dramatically to emphasize his point, earning him a rich chuckle.

“Thank you,” the man smiled, “What’s your name.”

He seemed generously interested and Obi-Wan was just about to answer, when a loud clattering sound could be heard, coming from the kitchen. “Oh dear, what have they done now?” Obi-Wan asked himself and then turned to look apologetic at his customer, “I’m terribly sorry, but I have to go and see if something has happened.”

“Alright,” the man had barely opened his mouth, when the younger male had already vanished into the kitchen.

Ahsoka had accidently dropped some dishes, which were more shards than anything now, on the floor. Luckily it was nothing tragic, even though the young teenager saw this entirely different.

“I’m so sorry Obi-Wan. I’ll pay for it, please. I am so sorry!” the ginger haired male could barely stop his employee from escaping out of his shop. She was completely out of herself, because she was afraid of being thrown out of a job again.

“Ahsoka,” Obi-Wan began and pulled the squirming girl with the long and dyed hair into a warm embrace, ignoring the present customers, “have you any idea how many dishes Anakin and I destroyed during our time?” She shook her head against his chest.

“A lot,” Anakin offered good-naturedly and laid his hand on the white and blue hair of the girl.

Obi-Wan chuckled, “You don’t have to pay anything as long as you don’t do it on purpose.”

“And if you do it to protect you from one of the assholes, Rex and Cody usually throw out, then I’ll pay,” Anakin said.

“Thank you,” the young female mumbled and Obi-Wan tightened his embrace for a moment, before finally releasing her.

Anakin offered the girl a napkin with a big teddy bear painted on it. Despite the tears that were falling down her cheeks, Ahsoka couldn’t help but laugh at the sight. The ginger haired male gave his half brother a questioning look, who only shrugged in response.

“Now off with you,” the ginger haired owner said while gently pushing the smaller girl in the direction of the kitchen. Ahsoka gave him another watery smile and trailed after Anakin. “I’d really appreciate it, if one of you would be so kind to help me out here,” Obi-Wan called after them.

“Ahsoka can help you, I am going to clean up the mess,” Anakin called out, “It was partly my fault anyway.”

“I’ll be right back, Obi-Wan,” the young girl promised and the shop owner did not doubt her words for one second.

True to her words, the teenager stepped out again, looking as if nothing had happened. Some of the steady customers were giving her encouraging words and Obi-Wan saw one or two of them slip some extra tip in the girl’s hand, which she took highly embarrassed.

“Oh no, you don’t,” the ginger haired male said when he spotted Ahsoka at the register.

“But Obi-Wan,” the girl started to protest, but was immediately cut off by the other barista, “I told you that you didn’t need to pay me. Don’t worry, I have actually planned in my expenses that something breaks, it can happen to me too, you know. Besides, they gave the tip to you and therefore it is yours.” “Thank you,” she mumbled and he stroked her hair affectionately. Anakin had almost adopted the sweet child and Obi-Wan did completely agree with his decision. She was a good kid that had experienced difficult times. Anakin and he had been through those too, when their parents had died for example.

“Not for that pumpkin,” and he meant it. Ahsoka had earned that nickname when she had brought an overly large pumpkin with her during Halloween time. She had pointed out that the café needed a little more Halloween decoration and spooky touch and Obi-Wan had let her do as she pleased.

Suddenly remembering the tall Irish author he had abandoned earlier, the barista turned towards his employee, “Hey, think you can manage on your own for a few minutes? I wanted to talk to one of the customers.”

“The author without inspiration?” Ahsoka asked with a huge grin on her face. “I heard you and Cody talking about it earlier,” she added at his raised eyebrow.

“Why does this not surprise me?” he laughed and headed off.

The Scottish accented man sat himself sideways on the comfortable chair with the red cushion – again something Ahsoka had picked – so that he was leaning with on elbow on the table and the other was draped over the chair’s backrest. The radio was playing a calm melody in the background.

“Hello there... again,” he greeted the taller male.

“Hey,” he huffed and turned to fully greet his new companion, “and here I thought you had forgotten about me.”

Obi-Wan slightly leaned back, “Nah, just needed to prevent some chaos.”

“I could see that,” the man with the midnight blue eyes answered. He was wearing his goggles again and they flattered his cheeks and the three-day-old beard.

The ginger haired male sighed slightly, “Children... well, you had asked me something earlier...” he let the sentence trail off, not quite remembering what he had been asked during the whole commotion.

“Yes. I wanted to know your name.”

Obi-Wan turned to sit normally on the chair, leaning both his arms on the table and slightly leaning forward. The man raised an eyebrow, but otherwise did not move. Obi-Wan smiled mischievously, “And who wants to know that?”

The man huffed, “Alright, I’ll bite.”

“Good to know,” he shop owner cut in, showing his teeth in a delighted smirk and he was pleased to see the other male blush slightly.

He cleared his throat, “Qui-Gon Jinn, pleased to meet you. I am author as you have already figured out.”

Obi-Wan hummed, “Obi-Wan Kenobi, shop-owner. Of the café as well as the workshop,”

“You are the shop-owner?”

“Yes. Why so shocked? Done something bad Mister Jinn?” he teased. Qui-Gon blushed again, worse this time.

“Qui-Gon,” the man spluttered out, “Just call me Qui-Gon, please. And no, I haven’t done anything, as far as I am aware. I was just surprised that is all.”

“Qui-Gon Jinn...” Obi-Wan repeated and tilted his head a little, “could it be that you wrote a crime novel with a former that also turned to be a love story?”

“You know it?” the man’s tone was hopeful and he immediately straightened in his seat.

“Dead by Candlelight? Something like this?”

“Yes,” he shook his head, “Tell me what you thought?”

The ginger haired male slowly breathed out, “Let me think a moment,” he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, stretching his spine in the process, “I really liked the story, even though it was a little bit predictable at some point. I also like your style of writing. The descriptions are great and most of the time you feel as if you are standing right next to the person.”

“Most of the time?” Qui-Gon probed into the statement.

“Unless you get distracted by your overly exciting half-brother or your insane best friend,” Obi-Wan winked.

The brown haired male chuckled, “Is there anything you don’t like?”

The ginger haired barista pondered a moment, “Well, as I already said it was a little too… predictable. Too many clichés…” he shrugged apologetic.

Qui-Gon had a frown on his features and his brow was furrowed. “Too many clichés,” he mumbled.

Obi-Wan hummed and stood up when he saw that Ahsoka had all her hands full.

Surprised midnight blue eyes looked up. “I have to get back to work,” Obi-Wan explained with a small smile.

“Of course,” the author replied, “Thank you for your honesty.”

“I prefer honestly so you can improve instead of lies that only help your ego,” the ginger haired man shrugged, then his serious expression turned into a grin and he winked, “I hope this was inspiring enough for you. See you.”

Qui-Gon hummed and followed the barista’s movements with his eyes. He had indeed found a new inspiration, but it wasn’t the excellent tea, or the cupcake...

#modernAU #motorbike-café AU #qui-gon jinn #obi-wan kenobi #rex #cody #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #author #my fics #I've got the idea from tumblr #but can't find the post anymore...#HELP?#shall I continue?#(romance)#friendship

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Note

381. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” with codywan, or anakin and obiwan (platonically) if you’re still doing these.

390 Prompts!!!!

I attempted to write Sad Things, feat. my headcanon that Plo taught Tholme.

----------

“--a padawan I wasn’t even ready for!”

Anakin freezes, holds his breath, doesn’t even blink. He waits, and hears a rough sob, paired with low and soothing words in a voice he thinks he recognizes. He doesn’t think either of them heard the door. He steps fully in and keeps his steps silent. He closes the door with that soft whisper it always has, and wonders if they heard it this time.

“You love the kid, Obi-Wan.”

“Loving him doesn’t make it easy, Quin,” Obi-Wan says, voice rough and broken in a way that makes Anakin’s gut curdle. “I wasn’t... I‘m not... he should have been my brother, not my student. He should have been Qui-Gon’s to raise, or... I haven’t had time to be my own person yet, let alone teach someone else.”

“If it’s any help, I felt that way with Aayla, and I actually had a few years to work solo before I started teaching her.” There’s a shuffling noise. “I think you need to visit a therapist, or at least a grief counselor--”

“They’ll take Anakin away. I can’t--I can’t let anyone know I’m struggling this much, Quinlan, they’ll take him, and I don’t know--”

Anakin feels tears pricking at his eyes.

“If they find they need to remove him from your care, they will figure out where to place him and who to put in charge of him before they do it,” Knight Vos says. Anakin thinks he sounds like this is a sentence he’s said a million times. “Hell, if it turns out he doesn’t want to be a Jedi after all, there’s a process to sponsor him getting, I dunno, an engineering degree? At Coruscant U.? Kid’s good with droids and basically a tiny genius, he’d--”

“I don’t want them to take him,” Obi-Wan interrupts. Anakin creeps closer. “I want to keep Anakin, I want to be his family, I just--”

“You just wish you weren’t the only person he has?”

Obi-Wan makes a pained noise. “The entire lineage is in tatters, Quin. My master’s dead, my grandmaster’s gone, I’ve barely met Feemor, Komari went insane and then died, Xanatos did the same, I don’t--I don’t even know what’s going on with Rael, he’s refused to speak with any of us since Nim died, and now it’s just me and a child with more trauma than I know how to help with, and a blasted old frog who’s forgotten how to deal with any sentient under the age of five centuries and--”

“Breathe, Obi.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Obi-Wan sobs. “Quinlan, I have no idea what I’m doing and I don’t know who to turn to. There aren’t any more masters, no more adults, that I can call up and talk to for advice, not if I want it to be helpful. I’m the adult. I’m the master. I’m the only person that boy has and I’m not enough!”

Anakin gives up on staying still and silent and runs into the room, throwing himself into Obi-Wan’s middle and hugging as hard as he can. He and Knight Vos are on the couch, so Anakin ends up with a knee in his abdomen, clinging and teary and trying to push as much I care about you and you mean a lot to me and you’re enough into the hug while he can.

“Shit,” Knight Vos whispers. “Kid--”

“You’re enough, Master,” Anakin says, squeezing as tight as he can. Maybe if he hugs harder, Obi-Wan will understand.

“You weren’t supposed to hear that,” Obi-Wan breathes. Anakin hears the clinking of a teacup being set on the table, carried on a faint wave of the Force. His hands rest lightly, carefully, hesitantly on Anakin’s back. They’re warm, even through the layers of linen and synthcotton. “Anakin, you--how long were you listening?”

Anakin shrugs. He hugs harder.

“I’m going to get some more tea,” Knight Vos says quietly.

The couch shifts as Knight Vos stands, and there’s a moment where Anakin can’t hear anything but his own breathing, can’t feel anything but Obi-Wan’s rough outer robe against his cheek and the hands on his back. A moment, and then Obi-Wan moves his hands, pulls Anakin fully into his lap and lets skinny arms come up around his neck. Anakin feels safe, when Obi-Wan hugs him fully, and he tries to push that feeling into the Force so Obi-Wan can feel it to.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighs. “This is--no, dear one, this is a me problem. It’s not for you to fix.”

“But I’m the problem,” Anakin says, and feels Obi-Wan’s arms stiffen around him. “And I don’t want to be a pro--”

“You are not a problem,” Obi-Wan says, rough and a little vicious. He pulls Anakin closer, cups a hand around Anakin’s skull and presses him against his collarbone and neck. “You are a child. The problem is the system that wasn’t set up to support you.”

“But you’re upset.”

“I’m upset for many reasons, but none of it is your fault,” Obi-Wan insists. His hand cards through Anakin’s hair. It feels nice. “I’m... a lot of it is because Master Qui-Gon died, Anakin, and that’s still very recent for me. I’m sad, and sometimes I’m too sad to do the work I need to do. Sometimes I’m too sad to get up and take care of you, and that’s a problem, because you just turned ten, and you need an adult.”

“...those are the days when Knight Vos comes and you ask Aayla to help me with my homework?” Anakin asks. “Or when you tell me to go help Knight Eerin with droid maintenance in the healing halls?”

“Yes,” Obi-Wan says, voice heavy. “And I’m sorry you have to deal with those days. I should be more present for you. It’s my duty as your Jedi master, and--”

“And he cares about you a lot and it upsets him that you’ll know and worry now,” Knight Vos interrupts. Obi-Wan finally lets Anakin sit up straight, but doesn’t make him get off and stop cuddling. Knight Vos gestures for each of them to take some tea. Anakin’s has blue honey in it. He says thank you.

Everything’s quiet for a bit, and the Knight Vos says, “I’m going to talk to Master Plo.”

“Who?” Anakin asks, even as Obi-Wan protests, far louder.

“Master Plo Koon,” Knight Vos says, holding up a hand to stall Obi-Wan’s protests, “Is my grandmaster. He taught Master Tholme, though you wouldn’t know it if you met them, with how grumpy my Master is. But Master Plo loves kids and has plenty of experience dealing with young Knights who aren’t ready for things, and he’s sympathetic to these things.”

“He’s on the Council,” Obi-Wan hisses.

“You need help, Obi,” Knight Vos says, unyielding as duracrete. “And he’ll know how.”

“Quin--”

“I think you should do it,” Anakin mutters.

“...Excuse me?”

“You’re sad,” Anakin says, not looking up from his tea. “And you said it makes you more upset that you can’t take care of me when you’re sad, so you’re already sad and then you make yourself more sad. And I don’t like it when you’re sad, so if Master Koon can help, and he’s going to be nice about it, then I think you should talk to him.”

“You heard the kid,” Knight Vos says, and Anakin can hear the grin. Still, this guy is Obi-Wan’s friend and gets all soft and nice when he keeps talking. “It’s okay to need help, Obi, and Master Plo will be happy to talk to you and figure out a way to take care of yourself and Anakin without risking custody.”

“Please, Master?” Anakin asks, wriggling around to look Obi-Wan in the face. He looks so tired. “I don’t want you to be more sad than you already are. I can’t help about Master Qui-Gon, but if--”

“Okay,” Obi-Wan cuts him off. He closes his eyes, squeezing them shut like that’ll help him feel better, and shakes his head a little. “Fine, I’ll talk to Master Koon.”

Anakin lodges himself back into his prior position, head tucked in between Obi-Wan’s jaw and shoulder, and feels his Master sigh as he rubs Anakin’s arm. “Thank you, Master Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan just sighs again. He doesn’t make Anakin stop cuddling, though.

#Anakin Skywalker #Obi Wan Kenobi #Disaster Lineage #Quinlan Vos #is there a tag specifically for Obi-Wan being Anakin's father/brother figure?#star wars #Phoenix Answers Memes #death mention #depression #mental illness

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Note

👀 PLease tell us your thoughts about the Jedi babies re-growing up among different cultural contexts.

Oh fuck okay

Context: original post, chrono The specific post this ask is referencing: here

Summary of the AU: Disaster lineage got tossed back in time. Anakin stayed 21-ish, but Obi-Wan and Ahsoka got deaged, took new names for time-travel reasons (Ylliben and Sokanth, or Ben and Soka), are now staying with the True Mandalorians under Jaster Mereel because the Force said to, go back to the Temple after about a decade. They grabbed Shmi about three months after arriving.

So as far as the cultural background goes, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka had similar upbringings. She spent a few years on Shili first, but both spent the majority of their childhoods up to age 13/14 being raised in the creche. So that's the basis that they would default to, in a vacuum.

Nobody is raised in a vacuum.

Along with the Jedi cultural background, they're being raised by Tatooine natives in a Mandalorian environment.

Shmi and Anakin are both former slaves who have desert survival baked into their bones. The longer Anakin spends around her, the more his accent slips, the more he talks about old folktales, the more he uses idioms that don't exist on a cityplanet like Coruscant. All the things that he tamped down to be a Jedi come floating back to the surface, and Shmi's never known anything else. Anakin's knowledge of slave customs make her feel more comfortable, which in turn makes him feel better, and so on.

Mandalore is just... the culture they're living in. You don't grow up in a new culture with a new language without picking up on it personally. (Source: I moved to the US when I was a little under two years old.)

I think the thing I'm going to focus on as an example is the way each of these cultures approaches family, and then maybe how they approach the keeping of peace/what peace means.

Jedi: Where you come from means little, only the legacy you leave behind in your students. Mandalore: You protect your clan and your children; adoption is a major cultural value, if not actually practiced consistently. Tatooine: You can lose your family at any time, so you value what you have in all its forms. You don’t forget where and who you came from, to family of blood and family of choice alike. You cling to your memories and what little you still have of them, to what your master cannot take away.

These are all valid ways to approach family, and each of these approaches can have significant meaning to different people. But they do all, to a certain degree, conflict with one another, despite all three being fairly communal cultures.

The Jedi have a culture, one that’s built on a shared ability and religion over thousands of years. It’s not just an organization, but a continuous community with legends and traditions and art and records. But it’s one that is built on new blood coming in from the outside, volunteers who join because the religion speaks to them (near literally, given the nature of Force Sensitivity), given up by families who couldn’t or wouldn’t teach them in a way that let their talents flourish instead of pushing it all down.

For the Jedi, a culture built on people coming together due to something they have in common intrinsically that their families of blood do not, it makes sense to put emphasis on letting go of that past when they can, and to place importance on teaching lineages. It’s not just the official master-padawan pairs, either, but that’s the most obvious and easily paralleled element. Moreover, a lot of the Jedi culture is about gaining knowledge, so obviously spreading it is good, and also on supporting the galaxy to make it a better place; to view the Jedi order as a heavily communal culture would make sense, since their values are all about selfless betterment of the universe, which on a larger scale is about the galactic conflicts, but on a smaller scale is about supporting their own community, the children and the ill and elderly.

So that is the specific culture that Obi-Wan and Ahsoka grew up in, one that holds blood family as relevant but not particularly crucial to one’s identity, but is structured so people leave behind legacies through education in a manner that often becomes adoptive family (depending on your definition, I guess). Jedi are encouraged to connect to their home cultures, if not their families, with practices like the coming of age hunt for Togruta leading to the young Jedi taking a trip out to Shili to engage in that cultural milestone. This can also be viewed as a way for the Jedi to maintain personal connections to the wider universe, a (not entirely successful, but certainly attempted) way of keeping them from becoming too isolated and insular from the universe at large, and losing touch from what the galaxy actually needs of them.

They’re now growing up with two cultures that do place emphasis on blood and found family.

Mandalore, as presented in The Mandalorian, has their traditional values set as being heavily associated with their armor, battle skills, and childcare. While that’s clearly a set of values that aren’t actually followed by everyone with full sincerity, we can assume that these stated cultural values do have at least some impact on the way the society is structured, since we do see more traditional characters (Jaster, Din) adopt orphaned children and then have the Mandalorian elements of their immediate circles support that claim.

(We’ll ignore Jango and the whole clone army thing because the amount of Sith influence is up for debate and also holy trauma, Batman.)

However, we also see that a lot of Mandalorian culture is built on their family histories. On the New Mandalorian side, we see emphasis placed on the fact that Satine is House Kryze and that she’s a duchess. Her bloodline is relevant, though not the most important thing about her. On the Death Watch side, we have Pre and Tor placing emphasis on the fact that they’re Clan Vizsla, descended from Tarre, that this is important to why they deserve what the darksaber represents, this is part of why they not only deserve to lead, but should for the good of Mandalore.

Bo-Katan’s armor is a family heirloom. Boba’s armor was Jango’s, but before being Jango’s, it was Jaster’s. Armor is important enough to pass to family, but the family can be adopted. This all tracks.

The resol’nare specifies loyalty and care for the clan/tribe among the six tenets.

These two elements seem relatively well-balanced: the importance of adoption and the importance of family as a larger unit on the level of a house or clan.

And then you have Tatooine, which also balances blood and adoption, but for entirely different reasons, that being this: it can always be taken from you.

For all that a Mandalorian could historically expect their family to die in battle, and a Jedi could expect to lose their master the same way if things went poorly, those were usually choices. A Mandalorian was raised to walk into battle, and then they could make that choice to do so. It wasn’t often much of a choice, but they could feasibly turn their back and choose to be a farmer or a doctor or something, and support the people who went out to do battle instead of being the one on the field themselves. A Jedi could choose to be a healer or an archivist or join one of the Corps.

A slave does not get that choice. A slave can be killed or sold on a whim from their master. It’s not a one-time trauma, but an ever-present fear. Your parent, your child, your sibling, your spouse, all of them can be separated from you at any time. You can always lose them, and you have no choice but to grin and bear it, or try to run and die before you reach freedom.

In a context like that, I imagine Tatooine places a very heavy emphasis on family, both of blood and of choice, and on treasuring what you have while you have it. A person is always aware that they can lose whoever they have in their life, and so they make the most of their times together, have clear and consistent ways of expressing that love (I imagine primarily direct verbal confirmations and physical contact, practical gifts like water and fruit). Childcare is important, elders are venerated. Those who survived that far have valuable wisdom, and the children are to be given what happiness they can have before reality wipes that ability from them.

The family ‘networks’ among Tatooine slaves are smaller and tighter knit. There’s less trust for outsiders, but once you’re in, you’re in until you are taken away. Still, families are torn apart regularly, and often can’t contact each other after being separated if they’re sold far enough away, so families stay small because they’re always being broken up. Unlike Mandalore’s tribe/clan system, or the Jedi’s wide, loosely-structured community, Tatooine’s slaves form smaller groups that cling for as long as they can, and try to support each other. (There are selfish ones, of course, especially the newbies, but... well. Most try.)

Tatooine is also much more likely to assign a familial role (e.g. referring to an elder as ‘grandmother’). It’s not uncommon in the others (multiple Jedi refer to their masters as a parent or sibling, like Anakin’s “you’re like a father to me” line), but it’s not as baked-in that such a role should be given.

So on a structural level, we have two people from a community culture with little emphasis on blood family or formal familial roles are now being raised in a community that has them asking “what can you do for the people around you first, and then the wider world?” by people who tell them “your family, blood and found, is the most important thing you have; never let anyone take more from you than they possibly can.”

And that shit has an effect.

For all that Sokanth and Ylliben were once raised with a knowledge that their duty, their goal, was to better the galaxy as a whole, they are now being told that the community that raises them asks their loyalty back, because societies are built on support networks, and if you support the tribe, it will support you. There are parallels to that kind of thinking among Jedi, because it is basic social theory, but it’s not presented as the same kind of cultural value. It’s not given as something to strive for, just a basic fact.

This, for instance, means that once they’re back at the Temple, they have a tendency towards suggesting study groups and other ways of supporting people in their immediate circle, often structured in very unfamiliar ways. Again, this isn’t uncommon among Jedi, but it’s not done in the same way, or with the same emphasis. The Jedi also often approach problem-solving in a different order, so the step of “meditate on it and you may find your solution” often comes before “gather information from people who know more about it than you do,” while Ben and Soka have by this point learned to do it the other way around, because that’s what the Mandalorian system taught them: rely on your family first.

Meanwhile, the Tatooine element of their upbringing has them being much more willing to just... casually refer to ‘my dad’ and ‘my sister’ and so on. They use those words. It’s not just “my master is like a father to me,” but “this is my father.” They don’t hesitate to talk about the family they had and still have in Mandalorian space. None of the Jedi begrudge them it, really, but it’s always a shock to hear for the first time, and between the Tatooine refusal to pretend the connection is gone and the Mandalorian tendency to err on the side of roughhousing as affection, they’re just... odd. It’s not like none of the other Jedi know family outside the Order--some of the old books had Obi-Wan visiting his brother on Stewjon once in a while--or like none of the active Jedi are loud or boisterous, but the specific manner in which Soka and Ben interact with the Order, especially when their dad is around, is very weird.

More Soka than Ben, really, but that’s mostly just because Ben’s a very quiet person until he gets a little older, so it’s harder to notice on him.

Point is, while they still hold to their duty to the wider galaxy and will continue to keep that duty above almost anything else in their lives, the way they talk and act about the subject of family, especially in private, is heavily influenced by their new cultures.

This is already very long but I promised I’d talk about peace so let’s go:

The Jedi seek peace as an absence of war and conflict in the portion of the galaxy under their purview, in hopes that they will prevent as much suffering and death as they can.

The Mandalorians are varied, but Jaster Mereel’s group (which is the community the Skywalkers are with) is likely to view peace as unrealistic to achieve in the long term. They do not seek war, but they know the world they live in, and are prepared to protect against violence as their first resort. They always expect an attack, even if they don’t seek it.

The Slaves of Tatooine view peace as the calm in a storm. It is the status quo. Nobody has escaped tonight, for the guards aren’t searching, but neither is anyone dead. The Master you have is in a good enough mood to not sell you, to not kill you, to not beat you. Peace as an absence of suffering is impossible, so you seek for your master to be peaceful, that is to say: not raging at you.

The scope of each of these narrows significantly. From the known galaxy, to the wars that meet Mandalorian space, to the household one serves.

A community like the Jedi can choose to address peace as something to be sought on a large scale as an absence of war. They primarily function within the borders of the Republic, which has its problems but is largely structured to prevent such things from occurring until the Sith interfere. The Jedi have a structure that allows them to address peace as an ideal to be sought, at least within the borders of the territory they serve.

Mandalore, meanwhile, has been at war on and off for... ever. When they are not at war with themselves, they’re at war with someone else. ‘Peace’ is just the time between wars, and they know that if they do not attack first, they will be forced to defend. Jaster Mereel was known as the Reformer, and part of that was that instituting a code of honor, one that was intended to prevent Mandalorian warriors from acting as raiders and brigands, but rather acting as honorable hired soldiers, or taking roles such as the Journeyman Protectors. Given that, I imagine that he views war as something inevitable, but also something that can be mitigated.

War doesn’t touch Tatooine.

Oh, it might raise taxes and import rates. It might prevent visitors who come for the races. It can do a lot of things.

But to a slave, these are nothing. The only thing war does is affect the master, the person who chooses when their slaves get water, when they get beaten, when they are no longer useful enough to keep around or keep alive.

The peace of a slave’s live is dictated by how much abuse they are subjected to by the person who owns them.

What this means for Soka and Ben is... well, they are viewed as war-hungry by the people who don’t know them very well. They have armor. They focus on fighting, both with and without their sabers. They know tactics better than most masters. They claim that war is coming, and don’t seem too sad about it.

(It is a fact to them. War will come. All they can do is meet it. They’ve already done their mourning once.)

They also... well, Shmi tells them things in hidden corners. How to duck their head to hide the hate or fear in their eyes. How to watch for the anger in the tendons of a hand. The laugh of someone who enjoys the pain they’ve caused, not just the adrenaline of a fight. She is free, and so are they, but she has not forgotten how to hide in the shadows until the master’s ire has turned elsewhere. How to be small and quiet and unseen until the danger passes.

A Jedi’s first resort is words. Their second is their saber. But the Jeedai hold their heads high, and the Mandalorians do the same.

“You rely on the Force, and you have your pride,” she tells them, her hands on their own. “But there will come a time when you will not be able to remind people that you are free. You will not be able to say that you are a person, that you deserve the respect of a living sentient. Perhaps it will be a politician who treats everyone like that. Perhaps you will be captured by an enemy. Perhaps you will be undercover. You will not be able to fight, with words or with weapons, and you will have to know how to survive.”

Tatooine does not have peace. Tatooine only has survival.

And while Jedi fight for the survival and peace of the universe, they are refined and composed. Mando’ade fight like warriors of old, and Tatooine slaves fight like cornered, rabid anooba.

The galaxy comes first, but when the chips are down and the Sith come out to play, Soka and Ben do not need refinement, because they know how to toss aside their pride and live.

#Tatooine #Mandalore #Jedi #culture clash #star wars #the clone wars #Anakin Skywalker #Shmi Skywalker #Ahsoka Tano #Obi Wan Kenobi #Jaster Mereel #family #war #Phoenix Posts #Anakin and the Jedi Babies #Phoenix Answers Asks #I have no idea how accurate this is but it's what I'm working with

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Text

Chip Reactivation AU

With help from @atagotiak @thisarenotarealblog and @kestrel-cat

Palpatine leaks info to Dooku about how Anakin used to be a slave, with a general intent of just causing psychological trauma to Skywalker. Dooku passes the job off to Ventress because he's got other things to do, and she takes it Way Too Far.

She hunts down Watto for more information, picks up just the right codes, and mid-battle reactivates Anakin's slave chip.

She taunts him about it. Tells him he has an hour before it goes off. Enjoys the horror as he realizes what she's done, but nobody else has the background info to parse the threat.

"Tick tock, Skywalker."

It's literally the only thing she's here to do, so Anakin is in a position to call off whatever team he has and sprint back to the ship, calling frantically for Kix to get ready to perform a surgery on a time crunch. He can't protect his men if he's dead, after all, and Padme is waiting for him.

Anakin doesn't know where his chip is. There's lots of Dawning Horror among the troopers and Ahsoka. They get the chip out in time, if barely, because the run back ate up over half the time and Kix had maybe twenty minutes to locate and remove the chip.

Various fallout as Anakin has to explain why he had a remote-controlled bomb in him and why he wasn't surprised it was there.

I just think it would be a Fun Way for the situation to come out

Ventress: I have spoken to Watto of Toydaria-

Anakin: WHAT?!?

Ahsoka: Who?

Ventress: And he gave me a very interesting set of codes. You're a bit far out of range, Skywalker, but I got them to work. You have one hour before the trigger hits.

Ahsoka: Master, what the kriff is she talking about?

Ventress: Master is quite the apropos term. Tick-Tock, Skywalker.

Ventress is playing it up but internally she wants to STAB someone, preferably Dooku, because she also used to be a child slave, and this is a very tone-deaf assignment, sir.

Dooku figured that by having Ventress do it, he could kill two birds with one stone. She needs a bit of extra trauma to cling to the dark side! Anger is good for her!

Maybe she tweaked the Codes and stuff to give Anakin more time, and says something cryptic to him about it later.

Ventress: Did you like my gift?

Anakin: If you mean the resurgent trauma, yeah it was great, I loved feeling like a piece of meat again.

[some time later]

Ventress: He took out your chip.

Anakin: Yeah, no thanks to y--

Ventress: Could he do the same to mine?

All jokes aside, Ventress probably doesn't still have the chip in her, maybe never had one in the first place if Rattatak was different enough from Tatooine, but.

Kix: Ok... Miss. We found it and it should be out fairly simply. I understand that you may prefer local anesthesia, but I am compelled by medical professionalism to offer-

Ventress: Oh just get it over with.

Kix: Ma'am I do have a knife.

----

Ventress: Why are you doing this anyway?

Kix: Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.

Ventress: Oh, that's wild coming from you.

Kix: Hey we don't have any... chips... why are you looking at me like that?

Ventress giving him a "oh you sweet summer child" look of pity, just a raised eyebrow of "oh, you actually believe that?"

She's actually very well positioned to have that insider knowledge! It's a great way to slide into a fix-it!

I like the idea of Ventress telling them about the chip, partly as a way to buy favor with them when she defects.

I like the reason she’d defect here is how concerned everyone is for Anakin, y’know? If Obi-Wan is nearby that’d include like, people in a position of power (or maybe even better, another council member being concerned, one that’s not so close) Just like, seeing people being concerned for other people, not for their usefulness y’know?

Like yeah sure they’d try to get the chip out, Anakin is valuable but the way they’d react would go beyond that.

It’d be a hell of a mood whiplash bc in many ways the initial everything about the chip would be extremely validating to her bitterness?

(Callous holier than thou bastards but they don’t even do anything to help one of their own, well if they’re going to leave so nice an opening for me I might as well take it)

And then it's just like, no, Anakin just didn't tell people, figured "it's inactive and that's enough for me" because... IDK he didn't trust anyone to anesthetize him at first and after that it was too late to not be awkward.

Just consider, though, Anakin's thought process as time runs down-- Kix can do it, he can't believe otherwise, he has faith in his men, but- Stay back, Snips! Master, what's going on? Let me help, what can I do? This isn't something you can help with, I need you to stay out of range of the bomb-- BOMB?! No time, where's Kix, we have to move

"I'm not leaving you Skyguy!" "Snips, please, don't come any closer, I can't..."

He's immersed deeply in the Force, listening for the first hint that they've run out of time (because I can't really see them having a perfectly accurate countdown, even if Ventress did give them an accurate timeframe) and preparing to throw everyone around him out of range if he has to (because they won't go willingly if it comes to that...)

It's not even really realistic to worry about the range, necessarily: I was under the impression that it was about a foot of effect, enough to kill if it's in the shoulder or neck or something, but a slow death if it's in the chest, and possible survival if it's in a limb. But that objective knowledge doesn't necessarily help when you're in the thick of things, does it?

#anakin skywalker #asajj ventress #Ventress #Kix #Ahsoka Tano #star wars #the clone wars #slavery #Phoenix Posts

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