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ink-on-the-brink · 3 years

Note

Out of all the mercs, which do you think would be the easiest to befriend and gain all their trust and which one would be the hardest??? And also, I really love your writing :D keep it up and have a nice day/night!!! ^^

Happy to know you enjoy my work! It's good to know I'm doing something right!

This one's going to be super quick since I've been a bit busy recently, but it should be fun. It will go in order from easiest to hardest to befriend. (Also there won't be any editing so excuse my spelling mistakes)

Pyro

You so much as smile at them and they are your best friend. Not kidding. They can and will make you a best friend after only the first time meeting you.

All you have to do to gain their trust is be kind. They won't notice if it's fake or not so even a sarcastic or strained tone won't matter as long as you're smiling and saying nice things.

Pyro is super bubbily and energetic and if you meet that energy you two are going to get along tremendously well.

You may not understand them, but they are telling you their deepest secrets all the time. Their trust in you is very noticable even after only a week of meeting them.

They are a bit- well more like extremely childish. So being their friend automatically makes you more of the adult no matter how immature you might be.

Overall they just want to be friends with any and every person they meet and you are going to be their bestest friend no matter if you want to be or not.

Scout

This man is a pretty easy friend to make. You make even a half attempt and he's your best friend on day one.

Trust is earned when you play fair. He doesn't really like cheaters, so if he challenges you and you make it a point to be as fair as possible he already believes you're a good person.

I hope you like some friendly competition because that's basically your guys' friendship is based on.

Now while you two might become great friends quickly, that doesn't necessarily mean you're going to know his deepest insecurities. That will problably take about a half a year and a loy of awkward conversations to get to.

He can be a very annoying person so being his friend takes a considerable amount of patience.

Overall he just likes having friends, even if he tries to stay macho about it.

Demo

Being his friend is pretty easy as well. He always likes to have a few drinking buddys on hand and he won't hesitate to invite along people he might not know very well

He'll gain immideate trust for you if you help him while he's drunk. Most people will leave him in a corner to wake up in so he'll take your act of kindness as a reason to keep you around.

Most of your friendship is based on achohal. Drinking together, gifting booze, encouraging others to join, you two will most likely not even remember most of your more trusting moments with eachother.

As bombastic and outgoing as he is, he's rather private about certain topics. That is unless he's black out drunk. If he's not as drunk as he usually is he won't answer questions about family or anything about the future until he feels he knows you well enough.

Demo is a bit of a handfull most days. He never turns down a dare and bar fights are common. You'll likely have to pull him off the floor a lot and he is notorious for invading personal space. So as long as your up for the challenge, he's up for being your friend.

Overall he's a drunk idiot, but he's your drunk idiot. He will be sure to make each day a little interesting

Medic

Becoming Medics friend can be...an interesting expirence. It's going to involve blood, guts and conscious surgeries and he's not going to care for those who are faint of heart.

You want to gain his trust? Well here's the thing, there is no surefire way to do that. Help him out one day and he'll appreciate it, another and he might become suspicious. The best way is probably to find some interest in his expirements. He prefurs to surround himself with like-minded people.

The biggest part of your friendship is most likely a shared interest in crimes against humanity. Two mad scientists testing on the bodies of dead 'patients'. What could go wrong?

Medic tries to hold a professional tone most of the time but will drop all of that when in battle or when expirementing. It can be hard to keep up with how quickly he switches from one to the other so try to stay aware of what's happening.

Medic doesn't have secrets. He has no shame and will tell you the most horrifying things in an upbeat tone. That, however, doesn't mean he fully trusts you. It will likely take a while before he trusts you enough to leave you alone with any of his expirements or projects. It's his life's work after all, he's not going to allow just anyone to mess with it.

Overall he doesn't mind having friends, but he isn't very open to close friends. It'll take a bit of time and prying to get him to fully trust you.

Soldier

This dude is extreamly parinoid. He's consistently second guessing his friendships and looking for double agents. So becoming his friend isn't exactly easy. You are going to have to seriously impress him for him to even think of you as anything more than a possibly traitor.

Gaining his trust can vary on many factors. Military backround? You're already up a few hundred points. Love for america? He's open to listening to you. Care for raccons? Okay maybe he isn't as hard to befriend as he tries to be.

Violence. So. Much. Violence. If he thinks you might be a good friend he's going to put you to the test. Rigorous training, sparing, tests on your patriotism, anything that he deems as important will be something he tests you on. All of them will most likely involve some sort of physical endurance. Even after you two are friend these will still be a constant in your life.

He's not good with secrets but there are a few things he keeps silent about and getting him to talk about it will likely end with you on the floor. As stated before he's a rather parinoid person and if it's something he's not willing to say out loud, it's something that you're going to have to spend years gaining enough trust for him to open up about it.

Soldier is extreamly loyal. If you're his friend he'd happily bleed to keep you safe. He'd never believe a single negative thing said about you and will side with you one everything, no matter how wrong you are. If you remain just as loyal he will become your right hand man in an instant.

Sniper

Overall Soldier's a loud, obnoxious, patriotic and still somehow very lovable person. When he cares about someone he tends to be extremely kind, be it in a more abrasive way then others. So as long as you can see past his militaristic exterior he's one hell of a friend to have.

You wanna be friends with Sniper? Yeah, good luck with that. Not only is the dude a loner, but he has hella trust issues and he sure as hell isn't here to make friends. Becoming his friend is going to take time. A lot of time. And maybe some coffee.

There isn't a singular act you could do to gain his trust. You can defend him all you want, side with him on every issue, pull him out of a near death expirence, its not going to change how little he trusts you. It's going to take all of those and a few long coversations (good luck getting him in a conversation in the first place) before he even attempts to trust you.

Your friendship relies heavily on practically. He's only going to think of trusting you if he feels you give some advantage. It will take a few heart to hearts for him to look past seeing you as someone who can help him and instead as someone he cares about.

Sniper has a lot of dark parts to him and it is only once he fully trusts you that you'll get to know that side of him exists. Secretly he really just wants to spill about his insecurities and problems but he doesn't trust that people won't use it against him. Once he does trust you his cold exterior will fade away and you'll get to know a lot about the demons he fights with.

He pulls off the calculated killer rather well. Most people believe he knows of nothing else. To anyone who's close to him however, he's quite honestly a mess. He needs someone that grounds him and if you can provide that type of friendship then he will appreciate it more that any type of heroic act you could preform.

Overall he's guarded and quiet but desperately wants someone to relate to. It will take a persistent attempt to earn his trust and even if he's your friend he still tends to keep to himself.

Heavy

Ah yes, the silent behemoth. Befriending him is going to take more than just patience. It's going to take a certain amount of willpower as well. He doesn't trust easily and you'll have to work hard to prove yourself to him, most likely on the battle field.

His trust is gained a few ways, none of which are easier than the last. First you must have some care for family. That doesn't necisarry mean that you have a family, but one of the first things he looks for in a possible friend is whether they have any strong familial values. Next you will have to prove to be strong enough to fend for yourself. He might be a human meat sheild but that doesn't mean he likes being one. He appreicates someone who can help rather than hinder him. There are many more steps afterward and you will have to pass with flying colors for him to consider it.

Your friendship will rely entirely on having eachothers back. He needs to know you are willing to stick with him no matter how dire the circumstances. You fuck up or betray him once and he will most likely never trust you again.

Heavy doesn't talk much. Whether that is because of his lack of english knowledge or simply choosing to keep his mouth shut really depends.

He doesn't hold many secrets but he does hold many dark memeories. He usually would only trust his family enough to talk to them about it but once your close enough to be considered family he will open up to you, if only a little bit.

Heavy keeps to himself most of the time and doesn't prefur to say much, if anything at all so getting to know his isn't easy and gaining his trust is even harder. He's got a family to take care of and he's not going to risk their safety by trusting someone he shouldn't have.

Spy

Ah yes, the backstabber himself. Guarded, mysterious and an annoying bastard. The path to his friendship is fog covered and honestly it can be hard to tell whether he cares for you or not. He will never announce his care or show it in any way, so good luck finding out if you're on his good side.

You want his trust? You'll have to prove you're worth trusting. Getting him out of a tough spot or siding with him is likely to earn his respect at the very least. It won't get you all the way there though. He doesn't associate with anyone that doesn't hold his type of class. You'll have to be rather poised and polished when around him.

His friendships usually end up in a love/hate dynamic. He might enjoy your company, and in doing so open a weak point for others to exploit. That's where the hate comes in. He doesn't like having people close, it makes his job harder, so no matter how much he cares he sure as hell isn't going to let it show.

Spy will never, ever, trust anyone with the knowledge of his past. He'd sooner die then let someone know anything that happened before he met them. No matter how much he trusts you, no matter how close you get, you will never have enough trust for him to tell you that.

Spy his one hell of a prick. It might all be in good fun, but he can be a little too good at getting on your nerves sometimes. It's best if you keep him in check by returning his remarks with equally devistating comebacks. He might even respect you more if you're able to match his level of prickery.

Overall he's going to remain mysterious no matter how much he may trust you. He will try to not befriend anyone, so you making an attempt to do so will likely be met with less than favorable reactions at first. Give it time and he might just consider you not as annoying as everyone else.

Engie

You thought he was a trusting guy didn't you? Well that's just what he wants you to think. Becoming his friend is a complicated process that you most likely wont even be aware of. You'll think he's your friend when really he's the farthest thing from it.

Gaining his true trust is near impossible. He has nearly everyone convinced of his friendly exterior so he almost can't afford to trust anyone to know the truth. In every case that it is possible it's entirely on accident. Maybe you seem to genuinely care for him and the guilt leaves him a bit more open to caring about you. Or the opposite can happen. You see right through his act and in a bid to keep you silent about it he becomes honest with you. Either way it's not going to be on purpose.

Engie grew up in a life where you weren't supposed to trust everyone but you damn well make sure everyone trusts you. This can make it hard for him to be an actual friend, considering he's always kept people at a distance. He will often fall into habits of keeping his friendly exterior instead of being more genuine with you.

Engie has a lot of secrets. A lot. Most he will take to his grave. If you do, however, manage to earn his trust and especially if you earn his care, he'll share a few. There are very few circumstances that he will and most time while doing so he can be very visibly uncomfortable. You don't get raised in a mercinary family without a few demons following you.

He's only cared for very few people in his life and he's trusted even less. So there are times when he either seem distant and uncaring or caring to the point you feel patronized. It will take him a while to find out if he should trust you and the moment he does it can seem almost like you have become the most important person on his life. His once empty gestures are now entirely genuine and he feels safe with his back toward you. This is by no means an easy point to reach and will most defiantly have taken literal years to get to.

Overall he's used to not genuinely connecting with people and is extremely hesitant when doing so. You may not even notice this conflict, but it's most certainly a large part of his life.

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xmalereader · 3 years

Text

Thomas Shelby X Male Reader X Din Djarin

—

|| Masterlist ||

This crossover will take place during the Star Wars universe! I tried to do a modern version but nothing came to mind so this’ll be my first Star Wars crossover with the peaky blinders, hopefully you like it! I tried my best. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

Requested: Is it ok if I simply ask for something with Din Djarin and Tommy Shelby? I want something with them but my brain isn't helping me with coming up with specifics for the fic :(

Warnings: crossover, language, violence, slight smut, mando’a language, Thomas is a dealer, din is manda’lore, darksaber is used, mentions of Bo-Katan, Grogu is with din.

@ge-m31

All of the townspeople were running to their homes, spreading the word that the ‘Shelbys’ have arrived. Everyone in town was running to hide from the dangerous man that ruled the place, claimed it as his own. He showed power just by crossing anyone’s path, not one dared to go up against the shelby family. Especially not their leader or else they will deal with the consequences. As the women ushered their children inside and made sure to lock their doors as the others hid behind homes or boxes as they watched a single man riding a Varactyl down the trail, passing by homes and markets. He would glance to his left and right every once an while, eyeing the people that lived there.

He pulled the Varctly to a halt causing the creature to huff softly and shake its head, looking around as the man turns towards one of the markets. Gently he hops off the creature and makes his way towards the small market that was selling gems and stones. He stands infront of the table and knocks on the woods, from underneath emerged a young women, letting out a nervous sigh as she avoids the mans eyes. “What can I do for you today Mr. Shelby?” She stutters out, gripping her gown softly. The man stands tall and watches her closely as he pulls out a puck from his pocket and sets it in front of her. “I have a bounty that needs to be caught for me and I am looking for someone that can help me.”

The women looks down at the puck and bites her lip. “I don’t know of any bounty hunter that can help.” She whispers out. The town watched in silence as the man reaches to take the puck back. “But I know who can help!” She is quick to blurt out. Thomas hand hovers over the puck. “Who?”

She bites her lip. “A Mandalorian passed by here a few days back, he was looking for a job—no one was able to give him any but if you need him than you can find him in woods. His ship is their and he isn’t alone.” She explains to him.

Thomas takes the puck and nods at her. “A Mandalorian, strongest warriors in the galaxy.” He says to himself as he heads back to his Varactly, riding the creature out of town and towards home.

—

“I don’t understand why we are here when we should be back on Mandalore, Bo-Katan is not going to be happy once she finds out that you left.” Said Y/n as he carries around a basket full of different kinds of fruits towards the Crest.

Din rolls his eyes under the helmet as he goes back to fixing the engines. “I may be the ruler of Mandalore but I also have my own freedom. I Can decided on what to do and like Bo-Katan said, when the time is right she’ll battle me for the Darksaber and she can become the new ruler.” He reminds his Riduur.

Grogu was sitting inside the basket as he listens to both of his parents converse with eachother, his head tilting back to look up at y/n who can only groan in frustration. They have been stuck on this god forsaken planet for a few days now, the crest had broken down and they have been trying to repair it but due to the ship being very old, it was sometimes hard to fix.

“Giving her the darksaber isn’t a good idea, you saw the look on her face when she first found out—anger is what I saw.” He sets the basket down and takes the kid out, setting him on the grass for him to play with. “Bo-katan wants power and we both know that letting her take the darksaber isnt the right choice.” He was looking down at the Mandalorian.

Din knew that y/n was right, right about Bo-Katan only wanting the power that wielded the Darksaber but, he never cared about power. He was a simple Mandalorian finding his way through the galaxy, he can easily get rid of the Darksaber but something deep down inside of him was telling him to keep it and To properly rule Mandalore. He couldn’t allow her to win it from him.

“I hate that you can be right sometimes.” Said Din.

Y/n grins at the man. “See? Always listen to your Riduur.” He nudges his shoulder and turns his attention back to the kid who was trying to eat the grass. “Hey! No, don’t eat that!” Y/n bends down to pull the grass out of the kids mouth.

Din chuckles at the sight and goes back to working on the crest, double checking the engines and making sure to fix up the damage that was caused by the trees and creatures that they had to fight off. It has been a rough couple of a days but nothing they can’t handle.

As he puts his tools away he hears rustling in the trees, by instinct he pulls out his blaster and looks over to the trees. Not spitting anything he walks over to y/n and Grogu. “Someone’s here.” He says, catching the others attention as he holds Grogu in his arms and stands next to Din. Holding out his own blaster too as the kid glares into the distance.

The three hold their guard up. “Come out or else will shoot.” Says y/n, giving off a warning to whoever was here.

Some more rustling his heard as a young boy comes out, holding his hands up in surrender. “Don’t shoot, I didn’t come to cause any harm.” He says, giving the two a look. Y/n eyes the boy, he looked young and unarmed but that didn’t cause him to drop his guard.

“What do you want? Asked Din.

The boy lowers his hands and licks his lips. “My name is Finn Shelby, my family owns the town here and we were looking for someone who can help us.” Din narrows his eyes at the boy. “Whatever help you need can be done without us.” He says coldly.

Finn glares. “My brother sent me here to offer you a job, we have been told that mandalorians are the strongest warriors and we need you to hunt down someone for us.”

Din huffs and puts his blaster away. “No, thanks.” With that he heads up the razor crest. Y/n lowers his blaster and holds Grogu close, nodding towards Finn. “Tell your brother that he can hire someone else.”

“We’ve already tried!” Finn exclaims in frustration.

Y/n rolls his eyes. “Let me guess, no one accept the deal?” He says sarcastically.

“No.” Said Finn. “They’ve accepted the job but no one ever comes back.” This catches y/n attention. It wasn’t the first time that they’ve had an issue like this before, they’ve faced many dangerous jobs. Hell, they were able to survive Dark troopers!

Y/n looks at the kid up and down before pointing at him. “Stay right there.” He demands as he heads towards the crest, entering the haul he sets Grogu down and approaches Din. “Don’t tell me you spoke to the kid.” Said Din before he could even say anything to him.

Y/n chuckles nervously. “Okay but listen—the kid says that they have sent people out there and no one comes back meaning that whoever goes out their dies.” He states. “Also, we need the credits! We don’t have enough fuel to last us for the next couple of days and our rations are running low.” He walks over to Din, standing next to him as he watches the Mandalorian polish his blaster. “Din, we need the credits and it’ll be quick.” He says again.

The Mandalorian sighs deeply and looks up at his lover, giving him a glare from underneath the helmet before saying. “Alright, but if we are going to accept this job than you must listen to my instruction, do you understand?” Y/n nods quickly, “yes!” Y/n is quick to run back outside to confirm Finn that they’ll take the job.

—

They walk all the way back to town with the child inside it’s pod and protected, Finn had walked the entire time, not having a ride with him since he would rather walk.

Din on the other hand wasn’t too fond of walking, he liked traveling fast and being able to finish his job quick. But for now, he accepted the option to walk to their destination. It took a few hours before they arrived to town, the people were doing their daily business, selling parts and trying to strike up deals with other shoppers.

Y/n can’t help but look around, it was strange seeing such a lively town. I mean, Nevaroo is the same since Greef was able to make some changes with the place and finally bring peace but this town was somehow different. It felt different.

Finn guides them through the town, going through alleyways and far away from the city now into an open with long grass everywhere. Y/n was the first to notice the Varactyl causing him to halt in his steps. “It’s a Varactyl.” He breaths out with a small smile. He hasn’t seen one in years, thinking that they have gone extinct.

“Family rasies them.” Said Finn with a grin on his face. “Don’t worry, he won’t bite. He’s too entertained with the grass, keeps them happy.” He added and continues to guide the three down a path that lead them towards a large house. “This looks like a fortress to me.” Din mutters out, glancing over his shoulder to see y/n give him a shrug. “Like I said, this family could be rich.” He reminds him.

He steps ahead of Din, following Finn closely as the other pulls the doors open and allows them inside. “I suggest you leave your weapons here.”

“That’s not happening.” Said Din with a glare.

Y/n agrees with him. “We won’t leave our weapons here, not when we are in an unknown home.” He crossed his arms over his chest as Finn shrugs. “Very well, you’ll face the wrath of my brother.” He simple says as he leaves the two on their own—fetching his brother.

Y/n looks around the house and stands close to Din. “Have an escape plan in case things go sideways?” He whispers. Din nods his head once, “I always do and in case things go bad you make sure to take the kid.” Grogu was their first priority and right now they can’t risk losing the kid.

As the two wait by the entrance they notice spot Finn coming back but he wasn’t alone this time. Behind him followed an older man, he wore black clothing—almost making him look like a general that belonged with the empire. He held his head up high as he approaches the two, standing in front of them.

“It’s nice to know that Finn was able to get you two back here safely.” He says with a small smirk. Y/n narrows his eyes at the man, taking a step forward as he examines his face. Taking in the mans features as his eyes slowly widen in realization. “Tommy?” He blurts out. Catching the mans attention who eyed him in return, looking at him up and down before he too came to realization. “Well, well, if it isn’t My favorites womp rat.” He chuckles out as y/n laughs in return and rushed over to hug the man.

Din can only watch the two men in confusion, having no idea what was going on. “You know him?” Din asks, pointing over to Thomas.

Y/n pulls away from Thomas and nods at Din. “Old friend, we go way back.” He answers. Looking at Thomas with a wide smile, “Maker, you haven’t changed one bit.” He says.

Thomas grins. “I can say the same for you, it was hard to tell who you were since back then you used to wear a mask over your face. I couldn’t quiet tell who you were.” The two have known eachother for a very long time, y/n remembered working with the Shelby family at a young age before he left the family. He wanted to start his own path and left the Shelby family behind, forgetting them since he no longer needed their help. But, he and Tommy had grown close over the years—from becoming friends to lovers and soon after he had to leave Thomas behind.

“It all makes sense now, the Varactyl, the job and Finn Shelby—Maker he was only a kid when I last saw him.”

“He still is.” Said Thomas.

Y/n smiles at Thomas with a small blush on his cheeks before a cough brings him back to reality. Turning around to see Din with his hands on his hips, giving him the sass stance. Y/n clears his throat and nods. “Right—! We came because Finn told us that you needed help.”

Thomas nods. “Right, follow me.” He guides the three towards a separate room, approaching his large desk he pulls out the puck from his pocket. “A few years back I got myself involved with some problems—“ he sets the puck down and a picture of a women shows up. “Her name is Grace, she has become a spy in my town and has been watching my family closely. She’s been sending information about us to the republic and they have been wanting to toss us into prison for a very long time.” He explains.

The Mandalorian approaches the desk and looks down at the puck, taking in the information. “You said many others have taken the job but none returned, why?” Thomas gives off a small frown. “She’s smart and has her own ways to survive.” He states back. “But with a Mandalorian chasing after her, I bet she’ll give up in an instant—heard mandalorians are the strongest warriors in the galaxy.”

Thomas and Din both stare at eachother, the tension was strong between them that it was hard for y/n to break it. So, instead he placed a hand on Dins chest and gently pulls him away. “How much?” Asked Din, wanting to know how much they will get paid in order to capture the women and bring her back alive.

Thomas puts his hands behind his back as he gives the couple a price, causing y/n’s eyes to widen in shock. The amount of credits that will be given to them can last them for two years, enough for rations and for the foundlings that Mandalore is soon to claim.

“You really must be desperate.” Y/n breaths out.

Thomas hums. “Very, she contains valuable information that cannot be passed down to the republic.” He licks his lips and looks at the two, “so, will you accept the job?”

Din grabs y/n but the shirt collar, “Give us a minute.” He says as he drags him away towards a corner of the house, leaving grogu behind with Thomas. Grogu stares at Thomas and gives him a small glare. “Hello.” Says Thomas to the child who rolls his eyes and closes his pod, ignoring the man.

“What was that?” Asked Din, pulling y/n aside as he glares under his helmet. “what was what?”

“That look—I know you two were more than just friends.” He says, a hint of jealousy in his voice as y/n grins at the Mandalorian. “okay, we used to be together but that was a long time ago. Din, I am married to you, we have a kid together.” He whispers to the Mandalorian. “Also you’re Mand’alore and if Thomas ever tries something then we know that he will have to face the wrath of the king.” He teases out, trying to lighten up the mood a little bit, but of course, it wasn’t working. Huffing softly he places a hand on Din’s chest plate. “Nothing will happen, I trust you and I love you very much.” Din sighs deeply as he leans down to press his helmet against y/n’s forehead. “I’m sorry.” He says, gripping his hand softly. “its okay.” Said Y/n with a small smile.

“I’ll take the job, only because we need the credits—but you and grogu will stay behind. I can’t risk losing you and two.” Said Din after pulling away from his riduur.

Y/n holds Din’s hand as he nods along the explanation. “Okay, will stay here until you get back.” He knows that he can’t argue with him already knowing that he would lose the argument and be forced to stay behind with the kid. He knows that the bounty will take a few days but he didn’t mind, as long as he get back safe and alive.

Before Y/n can go tell Thomas about their agreement he is pulled back again, this time—Din wraps his hand around his wrist, pulling him forward as he places the darksaber in his hand. “Din—“

“Keep it.”

“Din, I can’t take this from you.”

“You aren’t taking it from you, I’m letting you barrow it. You’ll need protection and I trust you with it.” The Mandalorian lets go of his wrist as he holds the darksaber in his hands. “But the rules—“

“Fuck the rules.” Said Din. “I know that I am the only one to wield the darksaber but I trust you with it.” He bumps his head against y/n’s once more. “Use it to protect yourself and the kid in case anything bad happens, got it?” He questions, earning a nod in return. “Got it.” With that, Din lets go of him and walks back to Thomas who was leaning against his desk, hands in his pockets.

“Will take the job, but Y/n and the kid stay back in case things don’t go as planned.” Thomas smirks. “Very well.” He pushes himself off the desk and hands Din the puck and a tracking fob. “I have a room full of weapons in case you need something.” He offers as Din takes the fob and puck, putting them in his pockets and shaking his head, “With what I have will work.” Thomas nods at the Mandalorian and turns to look at Y/n.

“Looks like I’ll be in your care for the meantime.” Y/n walks over to the kids pod and opens it up, revealing the child who was playing with his favorite silver ball. Smiling he reaches down and picks him up, holding him in his arms as the kids ears move up and down every once an while as he looks around the room, taking in the decor. “Hope you don’t mind the kid destroying some things.”

Thomas chuckles at y/n. “I don’t think he likes me very much.” He points out which causes Din to laugh a bit.

This catches their attention, y/n smiles at the Mandalorian and approaches him. “be safe.” He says again. Grogu coos at his buir and with his tiny hand he reaches up and places it against the side of the helmet, giving it a small stroke as he too worries for his fathers safety. “Ill be okay kid, you take care of Y/n while I’m gone.” Grogu gives Din a stern look and nod, determained to keep his own family safe. As they say their goodbyes they watches Din rid off with one of Thomas’ Varctly.

“You look happier than usual.” He hears Thomas say, standing next to him as they watch Din disappear into the woods. Y/n sighs, “Being married to a king has its perks.” He responds back and turns his attention to the kid, playing with his ears as he heads back inside.

Thomas stands there for a few seconds before it hits him. “wait—KING!?”

#male reader #pedro pascal #din djarin #din djarin x male reader #pedro pascal x male reader #the mandalorain #star wars x male reader #star wars #the mandalorian spoilers #thomas shelby x male reader #Thomas Shelby #peaky blinders x male reader #peaky blinders imagine #cillian murphy x male reader #cillian murphy #crossover #crossfic

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reinerispretty · 4 years

Note

I love your writing 🥺 Can you do a Sokka imagine where the reader is a firebender so Sokka doesnt take well to her joining the gaang at first, and they always bicker/ throw sarcastic comments at each other and the gaang is so sick of it! But one day they are forced to be alone together (they go on a mission?) and sparks fly n they kiss or something 😳 they return to camp and the gaang is like... ok why r u guys tolerating eachother and u guys r inseparable and super couply from then on!

hi!! sorry i’m just now getting to this!! i like to put lots of effort into my requests so i wanted it to be the best it could be :D hope you enjoy!!

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(Y/N) had always been very proud of her firebending. Not everyone in the town she had grown up in were benders, so being able to bend one of the elements was a great honor. Because of her powers, she was on track to join the Fire Nation military. These plans changed of course, as soon as she met the Avatar and his friends. She had helped them escape capture and joined them on their adventures. They were all pretty hesitant about her joining, but eventually Toph vouched for her by saying that she wasn’t lying when she told them all she had ever wanted was to help people.

(Y/N) had been traveling with their group for a few weeks and was slowly starting to build friendships with the other members of her group. Aang absolutely refused to learn firebending from her, but watched and laughed as she made little dragon puppets out of fire after dinner. She and Toph became fast friends, as they both had a similar wit and nonchalance about life. Katara took a bit to fully warm up to her, but (Y/N) was relentless and eventually they could exchange pleasant conversation as they cooked dinner. Even Appa licked her when she brought him hay, and Momo had started sharing his berries with her. The only person who didn’t like her at all was Sokka.

“I don’t want a firebender joining us,” He had said pointedly when she first joined the group. He had been outvoted, of course, and now whenever (Y/N) did anything, he had something to say in return. If she arranged the sleeping bags, he complained about their positioning. If she made dinner that night, he complained about the taste. It seemed like he went out of his way to make her feel bad.

Initially (Y/N) had tried to understand. The Fire Nation had hurt his people, so it was only natural that he was apprehensive toward her. But then his words started to hurt. One day, he had mentioned that she had betrayed her own people, so it would only be a matter of time until she betrayed them, too, and (Y/N) had had enough. She threw her bowl of soup to the ground and stood up. “What’s your problem?” She demanded.

“My problem is with you,” He spat. “You’re Fire Nation, you can’t be trusted.”

“Don’t you think that if I had even thought about turning you all in to the Fire Lord, I would have done it already?”

“I don’t know what goes on in your little spy brain!”

“I know what goes on in your brain: absolutely nothing!” She let out a frustrated scream and turned on her heel, marching into her tent. The rest of the group stared at Sokka awkwardly.

“She’s such a piece of work,” He grumbled, sipping on his soup. “Can you believe her?”

Over the next few weeks, whenever Sokka said an insult toward (Y/N) she’d shoot one right back. If he wanted to be a pain in her side, fine. She’d be one in his, too.

“You sure your twig arms can handle that firewood?” She asked him as he brought wood for their campfire.

“Hey, at least I’m doing something. What, are you too busy plotting how to take over the world to help?”

Their conversations were just insults and sarcastic quips, and eventually the rest of the group started to get sick of it. One night, as they sat at dinner, (Y/N) and Sokka were bickering because they had been forced to sit beside each other. Toph drove a piece of earth between them and flung them in opposite directions. “Would you guys quit it!” The girl shouted. “I only have four out of the five senses and you guys are driving them all crazy!”

“Sorry, Toph,” (Y/N) apologized, brushing herself off. “You know how he is.”

“Me?” Sokka exclaimed. “Toph, you know how she is!”

“You arrogant, good for nothing--”

“Ow!” Aang shouted, clutching his foot. The group stopped to look at him. “Ow, ow, ow, I think I stepped on something. My foot really hurts!” Katara rushed over to take a look and furrowed her brows.

“I don’t--”

“Oh, Sokka,” Aang sighed. “I don’t think I can go on that mission with you tomorrow, my foot just hurts too bad!” He gave Katara a big wink.

“Oh, of course!” She said, finally getting what Aang was trying to do. “I have to stay here and help Aang heal. I’ll need Toph’s help, too, so (Y/N) is the only one who can go on the mission with you.”

“I’d rather go alone,” Sokka said, crossing his arms.

“Please, how are you going to defend yourself if you don’t have a bender with you?” (Y/N) asked with a roll of her eyes. Sokka balled his fists and stormed off to his tent, mumbling angry, incoherent sentences. (Y/N) yawned and retreated back to her tent for the night.

“I’m not really injured,” Aang said.

“Really?” Toph deadpanned. “Couldn’t tell.”

“I just wanted a break from the two of them. They’re always fighting!”

“Who knows,” Katara said with a smile. “Maybe the trip will bring them closer together.”

The next morning, (Y/N) and Sokka begrudgingly walked side-by-side to their mission. They were doing a stake out of some Fire Navy ships to see what kind of weapons they were storing on them. They climbed up to a tall hillside, where they could comfortably watch the ships. As long as they were quiet, they wouldn’t bring any attention to themselves.

Sokka’s plan was to stay there for a full twenty-four hours. Every time (Y/N) thought about being around him that long, she nearly gagged, but she had to swallow it down because she knew this mission would be for the greater good. Hopefully, there would be more watching than talking.

They set up their tents behind some rocks so they would not look suspicious. And then, they sat. And they sat for a long time. (Y/N) was growing increasingly bored, just watching soldiers go in and out of the ships. She sighed, laying back down on the grass.

“What exactly are we looking for?”

“Nothing.” She propped herself up on her elbows.

“Excuse me?”

“We aren’t looking for anything. Well, not anything specific. I just want to know what kind of weapons they’re using so I can write to the Mechanist to create better ones for us.”

“So...we’re just going to watch?”

“Do you not know what a stake out is?”

“I do! I just didn’t know it was going to be a full day of doing absolutely nothing.”

“Look, if you don’t want to be here, fine. You can go back to the camp. I can handle myself.” (Y/N) scoffed.

“I’m not leaving you here alone, Sokka.”

“Then I suggest you stop complaining.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and reached into her bag. She pulled out two sandwiches and laid them beside her. “What are those?”

“Food,” She said, sliding a sandwich over to him. He took it suspiciously. “It’s not poisoned, you dummy. I got up early this morning and went to the market so I could make stake out snacks.”

“Oh, thanks. I guess.”

“You’re welcome.”

They sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime. (Y/N) watched the soldiers intently and had even made up backstories for some of them. The smaller soldier was named Lee, and he was a fiesty little fellow, but he was a new recruit. He had good ideas, but no one really wanted to listen to him because he lacked authority. (Y/N) sighed as she watched him talk to his commanders. Poor Lee.

“I recognize that one,” she said suddenly, pointing at one of the soldiers. “He and I went to training camp together one summer.”

“Oh, so that’s your friend. Great.” (Y/N) furrowed her brows.

“I never said he was my friend.”

“I just assumed, since you were both all ‘Go Fire Nation!’“ He sarcastically pumped a fist into his air.

“You make a lot of assumptions about me for someone who doesn’t know me.”

“I know exactly who you are. You’re a spoiled girl from the Fire Nation who wasn’t satisfied with her life and only wanted to join us to run away from your probably mean family. You don’t want to make change, you just wanted an out.”

“That’s not true at all, Sokka. I grew up poor. Dirt poor. And when I say that I mean it, because the floors of my house were literally dirt. No one asked me if I wanted to join the Fire Nation military, they told me I was going to. I was brought up my whole life surrounded by people who told me how great my nation was. If everyone’s telling you something and you have no reason to believe otherwise, you start to believe it. I know I’m not perfect, but I’m really tired of you thinking that you know who I am.” She pulled her knees into her chest and tucked her chin on top of them.

Sokka sighed. The sun was setting behind them. “It’s obvious I don’t like the Fire Nation. They’ve caused a lot of pain to me and Katara and to thousands of other people. So when you joined, I guess I just projected that anger onto you.”

“I understand. But I’m not the entire Fire Nation.”

“I know, it’s just hard to separate the two sometimes. I can literally see the Fire Nation inside of you. You’re decisive and strong and stubborn--”

“I’m just going to focus on the first two. You really think those things about me?”

“I mean, yeah. I’ve seen you talk your way out of fights but also kick some major butt. As much as I hate to say it, you’re pretty cool.” (Y/N) smiled and opened her mouth to respond, but her eyes widened as a giant fireball plummeted toward them.

“Look out!” She shouted, tackling Sokka out of the way. They both grunted in pain as they hit the ground.

“How did they even see us?” Sokka asked. He grabbed (Y/N) by the hand and led her up the hill. They abandoned all of their camping stuff (as it was currently on fire) and ran down the backside of the hill, away from the Fire Navy ships. (Y/N) spotted a cave and pulled Sokka inside. They both leaned against the cool rock, breathing heavily.

“Well, so much for the stake out,” (Y/N) said. Sokka laughed.

“We’ll have to wait here for the night. The ships are supposed to leave at dawn tomorrow, so we can travel back to camp then.” (Y/N) nodded. The sun had fully set behind them and the cool chill of night was setting in. She shivered. “I can get a fire going,” Sokka said, and began to collect the debris that was scattered around the cave. (Y/N) giggled.

“Sokka, I got it.” She kicked some leaves and sticks into a pile and kicked a flame on top of them. They sat across from each other with their backs against the cave walls.

“So, how’d you know you were a firebender?” He asked. (Y/N) shrugged.

“I think I started coughing fire one day. My family expected it though. My father had been a firebender.” She pursed her lips and stared at the ground. “He was sent to fight in the war. He didn’t end up coming home.”

“I’m so sorry,” Sokka said quietly. She shrugged.

“I feel torn about it, you know? Because he fought for hatred and injustice, but I also never got to find out if he supported the war or not. The Fire Nation doesn’t really care if you want to fight. They make you do it anyway.”

“I always wanted to fight, ever since I was little.” Sokka said. “But now while I’m living my dream, I see how nasty it actually is and understand why my dad didn’t want me to.”

“Well, you’re a pretty good fighter, so I’m sure he’s proud of you.” Sokka smiled.

“I’m sure your dad is proud of you, too.” (Y/N) grinned. “Listen, I’m sorry for being so mean to you. I guess I was projecting feelings on to you that I had towards the Fire Nation, and it wasn’t fair. But in my defense, everything you did just made me mad. Like the way you cooked soup, or how pretty your eyes were, or how nice your laugh sounded...” Sokka trailed off, a blush appearing on his cheeks. “I said that all out loud, didn’t I?”

(Y/N) nodded, trying her best to contain her smile. “Alright,” Sokka said. “You can just kill me now, I guess.” (Y/N) burst into laughter.

“It’s really okay, Sokka. I’m sorry for being mean to you as well. Everything you did made me mad, like how you constantly teased me, or how cute your ponytail looks, or how funny your jokes were...”

“You...you really think my jokes are funny?” (Y/N) nodded before sliding to sit at his side. “Can I try something?” (Y/N) nodded again. Their faces were just inches apart and she could tell the fire was dying by the dim glow it left on Sokka’s cheeks. He touched her own cheek with his hand, before pulling her close and slowly connecting their lips. (Y/N) felt her face grow hot, but she still let her eyes close and reveled in the feeling of his kiss. They stayed like that for a while, long after the fire went out.

When they returned to their friends the next morning, they walked hand in hand. Aang and Katara’s mouths dropped open and Toph stamped her feet on the ground. “There must be something wrong,” She said. “Are they...touching each other?”

“Hey, guys!” Sokka said, a bright smile on his face. “Aang, how’s the foot doing?”

“Uh, pretty good,” Aang said, pretending to lift his foot as if it were injured.

“What’s um...going on here?” Katara asked.

“Sokka and I had a pretty good stake out,” (Y/N) said. She let her hand slip from his. “I’m gonna get started on lunch.”

“Alrighty,” Sokka said before planting a kiss on her cheek. He sighed happily as he watched her walk away. “Aang, I really have to thank you for pretending to hurt your foot.”

---

Permatag List!

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#writing #sokka x reader #atla #avatar the last airbender #katara #aang #sokka #zuko x reader #aang x reader #toph #iroh #zuko #azula #momo #appa #fanfiction

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jtsfavslut · 4 years

Text

Stages[2/6]

Description: In which a girl goes through six stages to realize and accept the fact that her marriage is going downhill.

Stage Two: Anger

- Stages 1

- Stages 3

Description: Yeimy is upset, but only at herself. All she’s feeling is anger for being blind, and letting Grayson step all over her.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.2k+

You clenched your fists as you looked at time that was displayed on the stainless steel stove in your kitchen. He was three hours late, yet you hadn’t received a single phone call during the entire day. Usually, if he was staying late he would’ve called you to let you know, but he didn’t so you busted your ass in the kitchen to make him dinner only to have it placed in a tupperware container and placed in the fridge until he decided to come home.

You’ve been feeling like that all day. After getting woken up by his loud voice because he couldn’t find his belt, you wondered why he was going to work almost two hours early and coming home three hours late.

The thoughts and questions angered you. Maybe because you knew the answer, but that wasn’t the answer you were looking for so you decided to push it away. It angered you that you’ve been feeling sick and throwing up all day, yet you pushed through and made him his favorite dinner only for him to not come home on time.

It angered you that the only thing you could think about was Grayson being unfaithful to you.

And it angered you that you knew he was staying loyal to her. He won’t kiss you on the lips anymore, he’ll sometimes kiss you cheek before he goes to work, or on the forehead when he comes back. Or when he says an ‘I love you’ that you know doesn’t mean shit to him anymore.

You slammed the fridge’s door and made your way to the couch where you watched TV until you heard the gates unlock and the sound of his Tesla make its way inside the garage.

“Hi angel,” he said, walking inside and throwing his keys on a smile table next to the front door.

“Hi, dinner is on the table. I think you know how to heat it up don't you?” you spat turning off the tv and making your way upstairs to your room.

You noticed how cold and strange the room felt. The bed was perfectly made from the morning, and your night stand was dust free. Your wedding picture catches your eye. It was your favorite out of all the pictures. Grayson’s hands were tightly wrapped around your waist, while yours were wrapped around his shoulder, and you looked into eachothers eyes. It was taken right before you threw your bouquet into the air, which Karina managed to catch.

“Angel are you ok?” Grayson said standing on the doorway. His voice caught you by surprise making you drop the frame on the floor and the glass to shatter all over the floor.

“I’m fine, just a tad sick. Now if you excuse me, I have to clean this up,” you said signaling to the broken picture frame. You angrily pushed past him and made your way to the kitsch to get the broom.

You angrily sweep the glass up, taking out the picture and placing it on your nightstand, until you could find another frame. That was if it was even worth it putting it up.

“Hey angel, have you seen my black louis shoes? I can’t find them anywhere.” Grayson asked standing infront of you while you were laying on the couch watching How To Get Away With Murder, the only thing you’ve been doing for the past two hours or so.

“I haven’t seen them ever since you went on that weekend business trip last month,” you carelessly replied emphasizing on the business trip part. Mainly because you knew it was yet another lie.

“Are you upset? Did I do something?” he asked you, making you roll your eyes and scoff.

“The question is what haven’t you done Grayson.” You spat and rolled your eyes yet again at his confused state.

“You go to work two hours early but then come back home three hours late, which I don’t understand how but then again who the fuck knows what you do in that office. I stay here, como una puta idiota, waiting for you to come home, I cook, I clean, I do everything and lately I’ve been by myself. You’re constantly telling me lies but when I say something you pull the ‘are you questioning me card’ and I'm sick and tired of it,” you said getting p from the couch and walking towards the kitchen while he stood in the living room like an idiot.

“You forgot our anniversary last week, Grayson. And honestly I don’t know what’s going on with you or what you’re going through, but I hope you can get your shit straight and not waist my fucking time.” You added while aggressively opening the kitchen cabinets looking for your coffee cup.

“And don’t bother waiting for me tonight, I’ll be with Karina and Ethan. Maybe you can hang out with the boys since you haven’t done that in a while,” you sarcastically said before giving up on looking for your cup and going to your room to get ready.

If you weren’t mad before, then Grayson not replying and letting you go like that was sending you through the roof. Did he not care anymore? Or was he just letting you get space?

Whatever it was you couldn’t continue to think about it because Karina snapped her fingers in your face multiple times.

“Nena, we’ve been talking to you for the past five minutes,” she said while Ethan nodded his head in agreement.

“Are you ok? You seem too deep in your brain, and you look extremely upset.” Ethan pointed out, making you sigh.

“I’m fine trust, Grayson’s acting weird but I guess it’s because he’s under a lot of pressure.” You sighed as Ethan sent you a confused look.

“Yeah, he said you guys are really busy with the new projects and launches, and that there’s a lot of meetings he has to go to which stresses him out,” you said making Ethan’s heart ache for you. He knew there weren’t any launches for his and his brother’s company, and they definitely haven’t attended any meetings in the past few weeks.

“Oh yeah. The meetings he always gets stressed out by those. Always wanting to impress everyone, you know how he is.” he said, trying to sound as honest as possible, yet something felt a bit weird to you, but you decided to let that slide.

“This one is like that too. Always trying to please everyone, when he knows he can’t” Karina replied while playfully smacking the back of his head making you laugh.

Karina always found a way to make you laugh, that’s just one of the reasons why you’re best friends. And the fact that she’s also hispanic and you can talk shit about others without them understanding.

You decided to go back home around ten pm, since you were feeling a bit calmed down and you were starting to get tired. But that moment was caught short once you entered the house and Grayson started questioning you.

“You do the same thing tho, so I don’t get how it bothers you,” you shrugged, getting a bottle of water and sipping on it.

“But I-,” he began saying before you cut him off.

“But I, nothing. I’m going to bed, this conversation is done. Bye.” you replied deciding to be the bigger adult and left the kitchen, took a shower and went to bed.

The next morning you woke up in the same mood as yesterday, if not worse, Grayson asked if you were on your period, which you weren’t since you had it two weeks ago.

Honestly, you didn’t know what was getting you so upset. In the back of your head you did know tho, you simply did not want to accept it, so you just let it go, and that was starting to bother you.

On the other hand, you were angry at yourself for being so stupid and for putting Grayson in a pedestal letting him step all over you.

But you had enough of that. You decided that you needed a day for yourself so you went to the hair salon, cutting your long black hair up to your shoulders, you went to the nail salon and your nails and toes done, you went shopping and spent an unnecessarily amount of money on clothes you did not need, but who gives a fuck? You certainly did not.

After you did whatever that was, you went back home and put everything away, cleaned around the house a bit and decided to meet Karina and another friend of yours for dinner.

“Alright Yeimy, what’s going on with you?” Ambar your other friend asked you, you mentally rolled your eyes getting annoyed but trying to not be rude.

“I’m ok, Grayson’s just acting a tad weird,” you sighed and she nodded her head while Karina sent you a ‘what’s wrong’ look.

“Is he cheating on you?” she asked, making you snap.

“I don’t fucking know Ambar. I don’t. I think he is. But I don’t know. And I’m upset because deep inside my heart I know he is, and I know he doesn’t love me anymore. And what’s even more fucked up is that I can’t confront him because I don’t have fucking prove.” You slightly shouted, dragging attention to your table.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I just, I-,” you apologized feeling bad for letting out your anger on her, when she didn’t do anything wrong. “I just don’t what to do, and I feel like a fucking pendeja,” you added while they’re faces showed they felt sad for you.

“Mami, is ok. Relax you’re going to get through this. Vos es fuerte y averiguaras todo. Por ahora, olvídate de eso y sigue actuando como si vos no supieras nada hasta que encuentres algo,” (You’re strong and you’ll find everything out. But for now, keep acting clueless until you find something) Karina spoke in her colombian accent making you smile. Everytime she spoke spanish her accent always made you feel better, or just her in general. (A/N is it just me or is speaking in accents that are not yours fun. One second I’m british and the second I’m Columbian)

“Whatever she said. Just make sure you confront him when you’re certain and have proof, because he’s going to deny it, even tho he is babe,” Ambar replied and you nodded your head smiling.

“What would I do without you white ass and Colombian ass,” you replied, making them laugh.

“Probably die, who knows?” Karina jokingly shrugged making you laugh.

“I guess so,” you shrugged with a smile. Your mood completely changes after ranting to your best friends. “What do we do now?” you asked. You didn’t want to go home yet, and it was early anyways.

“How about we go to the beach, and blast music?” Ambar asked and you nodded your head.

“Yes, just like when we were 18, listening to Yeimy’s indie playlist,” Karina said, making you playfully smack her arm.

“Shut up. You know you like it,” you joked leaving a $20 bill on the table as tips and leaving the restaurant. (Y'all always tip your waiters well, they get paid shit)

“I do love my baby Clairo,” she laughed causing all of you to laugh.

You spent the rest of the day at the beach with your old playlist on shuffle, thank god the area you were at was empty allowing all three of you to sing your hearts out until Ambar left, even if your voices would have probably gotten Simon Cowell pretty upset.

“Remember, after we both got that internship at WakeHeart we came here and celebrated with Ambar?” Karina asked, making you nod your head with a smile.

“Yeah, we were 18 right? Just starting college.” You replied and she nodded her head.

“Those were some good times. Now 24 and boring as fuck,” you sighed and you nodded your head agreeing.

“I guess that’s what happens when you get married young,” you replied, laying down on your car’s roof. You were sitting on the roof of your Jeep just looking at the ocean while music softly plaid in the background.

“I just realized, I rushed my entire life for what? I started dating Grayson six months into knowing him, he was what 22? Got married 2 years later when I was 21, Graduated college and started working for him. Stopped working at the office last year, and now I stay at home while he’s out putting his dick inside who knows,” you sighed looking at the stars above you while your mind raced at twenty five thoughts per second.

“Everything happens for a reason Yeimy. And you’ll figure everything out, just take it easy on your mental health. And I can’t really give you any other piece of advice because I’m not going through that,” she reassured said, grabbing your hand.

“I hope what you’re saying is true, otherwise I don’t know what to do.” You sighed squeezing her hand back.

“Everything happens for reason babe. Everything,” she said, you nodded your head and continued looking out into space.

Stages 3

Tags: @angelgrayson @rhyrhy462 @333dolans @vinylhazza @foxglovedolan @dolanissues @mercurygrant @persistence-ofmemories @dolansficsandpics @blindedbythelightt @kinkygrays @pineappledols @the-evolution-of-stupidity @evergreendolan

#grayson #grayson x reader #grayson bailey #grayson dolan #graysonbailey #grayson dolan imagine #dolan #dolan twins #ethan dolan #Ethangrant #ethan dolan x reader #bad bitchikins

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possiamo-andare · 4 years

Text

No More Divisions - Chapter Four: The Wreck

JJ x Original Character

MASTERLIST

I didn't go back to bed after my conversation with JJ. I got out of the jacuzzi moments after he did, but I didn't go lay beside him. Instead, I went to JJ's father's dock and sat there, watching the sun completely rise.

My demons were not anything like JJ's. My parents were on the brink of getting a divorce and my worst fear was that they'd make me choose. I'm an only child so I have a good relationship with both my parents and although I don't want them to divorce in general, I could understand that they both are happier when they're not together. What I can't understand is why they would want me to choose. On one hand, my dad owns a business and regularly partners with Ward on real estate deals so he's very wealthy and is going to stay in OBX if my parents divorce. My dad and I are close and love the environment and I get along with him very well. On the other hand, my mom is from old money and will definitely go back to live with her father, my grandfather, in New York. I've been to New York two times and both times I didnt like it. The big city isn't for me. But I love my mom and we do get along and I go to her when I'm having problems. That's my biggest demon.

On days like today, everything gets put into perspective. Especially when I realize JJ's demons. His father had a reputation for being a drunk and a gambler, but I didn't think he'd hit his son. Now, my problems seem so insignificant compared to JJ's. I understand that I shouldn't think like that because your problems, big or small, still matter but I can't stop thinking of JJ and how his life has been so far.

He deserves better. I wish he was dealt a better hand.

I know it's late for me to come to this realization, but Pogue or Kook, it doesn't matter. We're all human for fucks sake. I know this is naive but why can't we get along? Why can't I hang out with who I want to hang out with. Be friends with people who have substance. Why does his town feel like following rules that were made by our grandparents and great grandparents?

My mind is reeling and before I can go into a trance, I'm reeled back into reality when I hear footsteps behind me.

Feeling exposed by myself, I quickly turn my body around to come face to face with the person behind me.

It's JJ.

He's wearing new swim trunks and a black tshirt this time. He looks tired and drained but he has this ragged feeling to him that makes him look mature and handsome. His blonde hair is a mess and he already has dirt on his hands his early in the morning, but he's still about the most beautiful person I've ever seen.

"Hi." I say, my breath is caught in my throat. He looks so different to me since the first time I saw him. I don't know why.

"Hey." He says back, looking down at his sneakers for a moment. Is he blushing? JJ is acting coy around me? A Kook nonetheless.

"What's up?" I ask, getting on my knees to get up from where I'm seated on the dock.

JJ's hands are out towards me before I can even ask for help and I grab both his hands to help me up. My hands feel all tingly as I touch him. His hands are rough, which differ from my sweaty but smooth ones, but they're warm. I could melt in them.

Once I'm fully up and making eye contact with him, JJ speaks, "We're gonna start heading out. You're coming with me and Kiara."

I nod. I look down at my hands and I realize they're still holding onto his hands. In surprise, I recoil my hands. I'm completely embarrassed. His hands felt so good, so right, in mine that I forgot to let go.

"Did you sleep at all after our conversation?" He coughs awkwardly as I let go of his hands. I've upset him a little and I don't know why.

"We should probably go." I ignore his question, mostly because I know he won't like the answer. It's not entirely his fault I didn't go back to sleep; I overthink too much.

I walk away from him quickly. Finding out his father beats him upsets me so much. I wish there was something I could say to make him feel better but I'm not a magician and there's no such thing as magic anyways. If there was, I would wish for a better dad for JJ.

I can feel JJ following me and I slow down my pace so he can catch up. Once we get back to his backyard, I see Kiara and Pope speaking to eachother as they both fold the blankets we slept on last night. I can see that they hear JJ and I enter because they instantly stop folding and talking and look at me.

"What?" I ask, concern in my voice. It's clear that they were talking about me.

"Nothing." Kiara says, smiling. "We should start going. The Wreck doesn't open until 10am and its 9am already."

I nod at her, but then look to Pope who hasn't said anything to me yet and has only been observing me. "Pope, is there something you wanna say?"

"Yeah." Pope nods, clearing his throat. "I know Kiara trusts you and so does Sarah. John B. doesn't know you but told us how nice and helpful you were since Peterkin was shot but I don't understand why you'd put yourself in danger for a friend and her boyfriend. Why would a Kook wanna help a Pogue. Why?"

I sigh. I was gonna answer him but I don't know if he was gonna like the answer. I look to Kiara, then beside me to JJ who is surprisingly smiling back, and then to Pope.

"Sarah was the only person nice to me when I first came to OBX. She's helped me more than anyone has. This is me just helping prove someone's innocent. The people in OBX deserve to know the truth. As for why I'd help a Pogue if I'm a Kook, there's no such thing my mind. There are just people, good and bad, and I wanna help the good ones." By the end of my speech, I take a deep breath.

I look to Kiara. She's smiling at me. She looks to Pope. "Good enough answer Pope?"

Pope doesn't look at Kiara, only smiles at me. "Yeah. Let's go and help our friend."

Getting to the Wreck was the easy part. Getting in with Kiara's key was the easy part. Even finding the food that we wanted for John B. was easy. Carrying those bins to the car though were not easy. These bins felt like they weighed 300 pounds and there were four of them, filled with preservatives for John B.'s trip. I was given the first bin by JJ and when he saw how much I struggled, he was more than happy to make fun of me.

"You need help sweetie?" He sarcastic tone made me roll my eyes. As he carried one of the bins with ease, I was having trouble putting it in the back of Kiara's car.

"Ignore him Callie. He's just about as helpful as my grandma when it comes to lifting heavy things." Kiara laughs, placing the second bin after JJ. I'm soon after her and I place the third one after her. Only one left.

"What do you call these?" JJ smirks, lifting his tshirt over his shoulder to flex his muscles. Although I'm impressed, I pretend not to be.

Instead I scoff. "Looks like flimsy noodles to me. What about you Kiara?"

Kiara nods, leaning against her car. "Sounds about right."

JJ gives us a fake pout. "You guys suck."

"But, my friend, you swallow." Kiara rebuttals, causing the both of us to break out in a fit of laughter.

JJ scoffs at us and stomps away, back into the restaurant to get the last bin full of food. Kiara and I are joking and laughing so much we forget where we are and who's around us. We're so wrapped up in our laughter we don't see the two motorcycles speed towards us and stop right behind us. Only when our laughter dies down and I turn around to go to the trunk, do I realize there's two motorcycles near the trunk of Kiara's car, blocking me from closing it.

They don't have to take off their helmets for me to know who they are but when they do I'm not surprised to see Topper and Rafe. I turn to run to Kiara, who is still waiting at the front of the car for me.

"Kiara! Run!" I scream.

She turns to me but it's too late, Rafe grabs onto my bicep and pulls me towards his body.

"Hey babe." He smirks. Topper is beside him and is smirking at me.

My instincts kick in and I spit in his face. He's thrown off guard and lets me go. This allows me to kick him in the shin once before Kiara grabs onto Topper and punches him in the stomach.

Since they're taller and stronger than us, Rafe overpowers me again and this time holds my wrists together. I'm twisting my body and kicking to try and break free but the more I move, the more my wrists hurt. Topper does the same to Kiara and in an attempt to try and escape, I try and speak to Rafe. We could talk so easily before. Maybe I can talk my way out of this. And if not, JJ will be out in seconds and help us.

"Why are you doing this?" I ask, exasperated from all the fighting. I stand still for I moment and I can already feel Rafe loosen his grip. Not enough for me to get out but it's progress.

"You're coming back to my house. And you're gonna tell me where John B. and Sarah are." Rafe speaks, not answering me.

"Like hell we are." Kiara says but yells as Topper holds onto her hand tighter.

"There's a $25,000 reward out for your friend. If we don't find him, someone else will. You'd want us to find him. We'll be gentle." Topper smirks at Kiara before looking to me and winking.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah sure. Right before you kill him." I spit out, bitterly looking between Topper and Rafe.

"Why are you protecting him?" Rafe asks, squeezing tighter. "Is it because you like him?"

I laugh arrogantly. I know he could probably hurt me but I can't help it. Rafe was always jealous even before he was a killer. I'm glad he's consistent at least. "Are you seriously jealous right now? I'm not even your girlfriend anymore. What I do is none of your damn business."

"It's my business! We're not done. You love me." Rafe grints his teeth together, not happy that I said we aren't together.

"I hate you!" I scream. "You don't know what love is."

"I love you and you left me!" He angrily screamed in my face. He was red and his eyes were darting everywhere. I realized he was high, from god knows what, and grew angry with him.

"I left you," I yell, matching his angry tone. "Because you're a crack addicted psycho!"

Topper and Kiara are now silent and stop fighting eachother. They look to us.

"I'm better baby, I swear." Rafe whimpers, tears falling down his face. I have no sympathy anymore. He's a murderer.

"You're fucking high right now." I furrow my brows, anger still dripping from my tone.

"I'll get better for you. We had all these dreams and somehow it all got messed up." He frowns at me, his grip loosens even more.

"I don't love you anymore Rafe. You're a killer!" I yell, my eyes wandering to the front door of the Wreck where JJ has finally emerged. When he sees what's going on, I can tell he's angry. He's running to us, bin in hand as if it weighs nothing.

Unfortunately Rafe looks behind me and sees him too. Not in enough time though because JJ throws the bin at both Topper and Rafe who let go of us and fall backwards.

"You're with him?!" Rafe yells, his anger boiling over again.

This time I dont answer. I'm too busy getting in the car with Kiara and JJ. As JJ closes the trunk, Kiara starts up the car and I buckle my seat. We're yelling at JJ to hurry up because they're running after JJ. By some sort of miracle, JJ gets in the car and locks the door before Rafe and Topper can get to him. Kiara puts the car in drive as JJ flips the both of them off as we drive away.

"Fuckers!" JJ yells, still flipping them off even though they can't see us from inside the car anymore.

"JJ if they follow us, you're getting beat up first." I sarcastically threaten him and he laughs at me.

"They wouldn't dare. They're scared of me now Callie. I beat the shit out of them." JJ smirks before lifting up his arms and kissing his muscles. "These boys did me proud."

Kiara and I laugh at him as he kisses his muscles.

"All you did was throw a bin at them. Your 'boys' let you down." Kiara snickers, looking at JJ through the mirror. He's laying down on the backseat as Kiara and I are in the front.

"Speaking of which," I say, the reality sinking in. "Since JJ hit them with the last bin, we only have three in the trunk."

Kiara shrugs. "I'm sure John B. won't mind."

JJ sits up and sneaks his head through the open space between Kiara and I. He turns his head to look at me. "He better not complain or I'll punch him. I almost got beat up for these three bins."

"Aw," I coo sarcastically at JJ before grabbing his cheeks with my hand. "No one's gonna beat up the only thing that gets you laid."

JJ moves his head away from my hands as Kiara laughs at my joke. "You just said I'm hot."

Kiara and I stop laughing. It all of a sudden got super hot in this car. "I never said that." I frown, look to the road.

"You basically said that I'm hot." JJ laughs at me in my ear.

My back gets goosebumps. "I did not!"

Kiara shakes her head and laughs. "You gotta be careful what you say to this guy. Everything goes straight to his head."

I look back at JJ, who is still looking straight at me.

I smile. "Has anyone told you that you have an ego, JJ?"

JJ laughs. "I think that's one of my defining qualities."

"It really is." I joke, smirking at JJ for a second before looking to Kiara. "Where are we going now?"

"We gotta pick up Pope. I'm guessing his dad is not happy." Kiara says as she rounds another corner, coming closer and closer to the dock where Mr. Heyward works.

I frown, looking down at my hands. "I guess this is where I loose my job."

"Don't worry Callie," JJ reassures me as he pats my shoulder. "Look on the bright side; you'll be an honorary member of the Pogue club if you do."

I look behind me, making eye contact with JJ. "Oh yay me."

But I was starting to think if this is what being a Pogue was, maybe it wasn't so bad.

"You guys stay here. I'll go get Pope." Kiara instructed as she got out of the car.

JJ and I both nodded but as soon as she closed the door, I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to JJ.

"Are they a thing?" I ask, curious because of their behavior towards eachother. They act like a couple and Kiara protects him but as far as I know, they're not.

JJ shrugs. "No but they have a thing kinda. They both obviously like eachother. It's just not obvious to the both of them."

I nod. "I kinda know what that's like."

JJ looked up from his hand and leaned on over to me. His bottom half was in the back seat but his upper half was leaning against my arm rest. He was incredibly close to me, I should've told him to back up but I didn't want him to. He smelled so wonderful; like the ocean, that it was intoxicating. I wanted to be wrapped up in him all day -

"Are you okay?" JJ asks, concern in his tone.

I snap out of my thoughts. "Yeah, sorry. What did you say?" God, I really had to get it together. He's not mine. He'll never be mine.

"What does it feel like to be in love?" JJ asks this so innocently, that I'm surprised it's even came from his mouth.

I smile. "You've never been in love?" I ask in disbelief. There's no way. I couldn't count how many times I heard that JJ was with a new girl.

JJ shrugs. "No. To be honest, I've never had an official girlfriend either."

I let out a small laugh in disbelief. "What? Yes you have."

JJ frowns and shakes his head.

I can't believe what I'm hearing. "Seriously? Wow."

I'm literally in shock from this news. JJ seems a little embarrassed and is not looking at me anymore and looking at his hands. I can tell he didn't like my reaction to the news but I couldn't help it.

"JJ," I say, not speaking until he looks back up at me. When he does, I continue, "love is great but it's not always everything. What you have with your friends, I really only have with Sarah. The type of love you have for your friends is something I wish I could have."

JJ smiles at me. "Well, you're part of the group now."

I smirk, leaning closer to him. "Really?"

He leans even closer, our foreheads touching now. "Yeah."

I want to kiss him so badly it hurts. I've never wanted to kiss someone this badly, it's scary. I know he wants to too because I watch him lick his lips. I'm taking a leap of faith and leaning closer and closer to him until his lips are inches from mine.

Then we hear the door unlock automatically and we instantly pull apart. I look out the drivers side window and see Kiara with Pope, running with the two gallons of gas. I lean over the drivers side and open the door for Kiara, who gets in quickly and starts the car.

Pope is quickly in the back with JJ and throws the gas on the floor. "Go!"

I look to the window and see Mr. Heyward after them. Kiara floors it, going faster than she did when we were trying to get away from Rafe and Topper. I guess a parent's anger is always scarier than a murderer and his friends.

"Woohoo!" JJ screams, all of us laughing and screaming with him.

I think it get it now. This is what it's all about.

#jj obx #jj outer banks #jj x callie #jj maybank #jj x oc #sarah outer banks #pope outer banks #kiara outer banks #outer banks #obx #obx fanfiction #obx netflix #pope obx #john b outer banks #john b obx #john b routledge #john b

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5-falsehoods-phonated · 4 years

Note

(yes i'm sending two). the other one should be in the kitchen for no reason at all, with whatever ship you want! :D

I am a simple human. I see "whatever ship I want" and my mind immediately screams analogical XD I had too much fun writing this so I hope you enjoy tooth rotting fluff!

Just How Lovely He Is

Summary: Logan gets lost in thought as he thinks about his life with Virgil, deciding after that a kiss is definitely needed.

Warnings: very brief, non explicit sex mention.

Ships: Romantic Analogical, Logan x Virgil

WC: 1, 573

Logan smiled softly as he watched Virgil from over the edge of his book. He hadn't turned the page in a while but thankfully the younger man hadn't seemed to notice over the music playing on the counter beside him. Evanescence played a rolling beat to accompany the clanking of dishes Virgil had insisted on doing, bowls and pans from their late lunch of valiantly attempted vegetable stir fry stacked gleaming in the drip rack. He still wore his hoodie, albeit with the sleeves scrunched up tight above his elbows, tendons tensing and releasing in his thin wrists as he scrubbed at a patch of rice stuck burnt to a pan's bottom. Logan's smile grew wider as the other huffed at his long bangs that had fallen into his eyes to make them fluff away for a moment only to let them fall back again.

His hair was just as long as when Logan first met him, all bite and almost no show as his sarcastic quips kept people at a comfortable arm distance, preferably more if he could manage it. But he had needed help and Logan was right there. He remembered how the darkly dressed boy had turned to him angrily, false bravado flashing in his eyes but fingers twisting in stretched out sleeves telling an entirely different story. The math had been hard, calculus being new to both of them and Logan with only the tiniest step up in understanding to really add to Virgil's confusion. They had both stuck it out though, too stubborn to give up on what they had silently agreed would be a one time thing anyway and as long as they had worked together in class they may as well puzzle out their homework together at the library.

The library had turned to the common area, and the common area Logan's dorm room where Virgil had discovered his self edited poster of Ellie from Up pointing to a NASA logo exclaiming "Adventure is out there!". Virgil had laughed, calling him a nerd to which Logan had immediately bristled but quickly calmed when the emo began rambling about his old dorm mate that had been obsessed with all things Disney and Pixar, Up being a movie Roman would cry in the beginning for every single time it was put on. He went on to talk about debates the two would have and the arguments that would often break out about the true meaning behind the films which had then dissolved into conspiracy theories that Logan was quickly sucked into, homework forgotten as they chatted long into the evening, only shutting up once their stomachs growled and they had laughed at the hours that went by, mutually deciding pizza over calculus was the way to go.

The first time Logan remembers thinking Virgil was beautiful they were eating at a park bench trading class gossip back and forth when he had said something particularly relatable, making Logan's eyes light up as he dug out a flashcard he had just made without thinking, nodding to himself before quoting "same-sise". Virgil had looked so confused as Logan registered what he had done, quickly hiding the note card against his stomach and looking down in shame.

"What did you just say L?" He had said.

"I was...I had read the slang word a few times and looked it up since it seemed relevant. I'm not...the most proficient at new social terms."

"Hey it's alright, honestly. Can I see?"

Reluctantly he had handed over his cards and watched as Virgil read the word over. "It's pronounced same-seas. But you used it in the right context. Some of these are outdated though...I could teach you the new ones people use now if you want? So you can keep up with conversations and stuff."

Flabbergasted Logan could only nod, watching as a huge grin broke out on Virgil's face, one of the few genuine smiles he offered. No judgement, not even a hint of disdain were found in his gray green eyes, making Logan's stomach flip with an unfamiliar feeling at the thought of being listened to, wanted, and only one thought graced him with its presence as Virgil began talking again.

'Beautiful'

Later on Logan learned about Virgil's panic attacks, helping him through several and regularly guiding his breathing before tests and after classes. Virgil learned of his own pent up anxiety attacks and was always there to lay a careful hand on his shoulder or words of encouragement from a safe distance away. They learned it was okay to lean on each other, asking for help at two in the morning or a hug at three. Virgil found tight hugs and soothing backrubs grounding while Logan found he very much enjoyed the others pale fingers carding through his dark hair. They weren't always physically affectionate, sometimes they couldn't be as touch could be too overwhelming, so quiet 'heys' were exchanged with soft looks instead.

The first time 'I love you' was said it was whispered so quietly Logan had almost missed it, tucked under the blankets with his legs tangled with Virgil's and fingers threaded together. His heart had nearly stuttered to a stop, emotions overflowing as those three words hit him harder than anything anyone had ever said to him. It hurt, how much he loved Virgil, with his despicable music taste he had grown accustomed to and had downloaded to his phone. His dyed purple hair that he grumbled about staining the towels. The way he always had the AC cranked up because of the oversized hoodie he wore everywhere all year long since it was his favorite comfort item. His chipped fingernail polish and dark eyeshadow that did nothing to hide the bright smile that had slowly become more and more common. He had choked on his sobs, Virgil's breath hitching as he began to stutter out an apology before lips were being pressed to his own even as tears dripped down to splash against his cheeks. Logan had pulled back, embarrassed, just managing to gasp out his long belated confession.

"I love you too. Virgil, I love you so much-" Their lips had met again, softer and sweeter and nowhere near perfect with snot dripping from Logan's nose and Virgil's palms sweaty with anxiety but it was fine because Virgil loved him.

Virgil loved him.

And Logan loved Virgil. From chaste kisses shared (not so) discreetly in the halls to heavier ones shared between moans behind firmly shut doors. Logan held Virgil's hand or linked pinkies or pulled him down on his lap as he read. Virgil wrapped warm and safe arms around his shoulders or held his face between cold palms or brushed their shoulders gently in passing. They shared friendly banter and heated arguments alike, both too stubborn to admit to a wrongdoing in the moment and having cool off separately for however long it took for one to miss the other, which was never that long at all really.

Unfortunately life had gotten in the way. Different jobs across the town and neither of them owning a car meant Virgil stayed in an apartment building close to his work while Logan did likewise miles away. Still more often than not they enjoyed eachothers company in either apartment, Virgil's being smaller and cramped while Logan had yet to disclose he had rented a two bedroom much closer to a mid way point between their respective jobs. They had discussed it earlier but at the time neither of them had had the finances so it was put in the back burner. Until now.

Logan came back from his reverie to see Virgil finishing up drying the dishes, mouthing along to a new song as he bounced in place slightly to the tune, making Logan smile yet again. Everything Virgil did was infuriatingly adorable, from his hips swaying slightly as he bent to put a pan back to the way he tried to be subtle about pushing back the hair he knew had grown too long from his face. Mind made up, Logan stood and smoothly took away the towel to place it on the counter, reaching up to gently brush Virgil's bangs from his beautiful eyes staring at him in question. Instead of answering Logan brought both hands up to the others cheeks, brushing them over softly with his thumb as he leaned forward.

Their lips met as Virgil twisted Logan's shirt in his fists to pull him closer, closed mouth kiss long and lingering as they smiled into it. Logan brought his hand around the back of Virgil's neck and tipped his head slightly, deepening the kiss with a simple swipe of the tongue, teeth carefully avoided with practice and mouths moving in sync. Logan pulled away first only just enough to lean forward and press their foreheads together, still holding the other as gently as he would a treasure, eyes locking as Virgil's eyes crinkled with adoring amusement.

"What was that for you sap?" He asked softly, rubbing tiny circles against his stomach through his now wrinkled shirt.

The extra apartment key felt heavy in his pocket with the added stormcloud keychain he had had specially commissioned, weighing his pocket with a promise he couldn't wait to make. "No reason."

Smiling he kissed the other again and again, making him laugh and bat playfully at his face.

No reason at all.

This work is also available on AO3!

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #kiss prompt #sanders sides fluff #fluffy fluff #analogical #virgil x logan #virgil sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides analogical #false writes

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autisticsidesau · 4 years

Note

can we hear more about how Dee gets along with the other friends (like Logan, Roman, and Patton?) since we haven't heard a lot about his interactions with them? -🐢 anon

Virgil:

While Virgil and Dee love eachother very very very much, they’re also twins. Which means their assholes to each other. In a loving brotherly way.

A lot of their interactions revolve around one of them storming into the others room, flopping onto their siblings bed, and demanding attention, completely ignoring the fact that the other is busy.

Or just playing small pranks on each other

They’re the coolest siblings around and tbh iconic

Roman:

Very overdramatic pair

But in sarcastic way

I.e. someone spills a drink and these two make it into a goddamn shakespeare tragedy

Dee despises Shakespeare’s sonnets whilst Roman loves them

D: “He can't just call himself a genius in every sonnet he writes.” R: “He can do whatever he goddamn wants considering the Shakespearen sonnet was literally named after him!”

They perform “God I hate shakespeare!” wonderfully together

Constantly debate the coolest greek god and the worst greek god and roman geeks out when he learns about Dee’s legal name but also understands Dee not wanting to use it and respects

He also “gangs up” on Roman with Virgil because they’re both one inch taller than Roman

Remus:

Definitely an interesting pair, for some reason they’re actually pretty calm around each other

They actually have very civilized debates

And they like to discuss the different sides to political issues

They’ll just bring beach towels onto the roof and talk for hours about nothing and everything

And everyone is confused??? By this calm energy???

Dee is Not the most vulnerable person but for some reason he feels like he’s able to share his insecurities with Remus

He suspects it has to do with Remus’ very matter-of-fact attitude to such insecurities and just let’s Dee admit them instead of trying to challenge or work through those feelings

Patton:

The weirdest dynamic, very friendly with each other tho

Dee adores rose and Patton adores ari

They definitely gush about their pets together

They don’t have a lot of common interests but that doesn’t stop them from having cool conversations

Even if said convos are just continuous infodumping

Dee knows how close Patton and Virgil are and started making an honest effort to get to know patton because “you’re my brother’s friend”

Logan:

Logan is at least 60% responsible for every rebellious idea Dee gets

But somehow Dee’s also the second brain cell of the group

Logan and Dee in a group setting and not scheming alone: two (2) entire brain cells

Logan and Dee not in a group setting and scheming: negative two (-2) brain cells

They’re the groups only brain cells, but put them together and they quickly blast into the negatives

Emile:

The Queer Agenda

These two are as queer as fuck with one another and they love love love discussing queer culture and history

The don’t tend to discuss queer politics together because they’ll get really intense and then one or both will get upset with the way the world is

History and culture are better options for them

They adore discussing the nuances and small experiences of the Queer community

Remy:

“Sup bitch.” “Did you call me a bitch, bitch?”

After a while Remy puts together a list of Dee’s texture issues so if he wants to make Dee a starbucks drinks he is able to

He tried to remember off the top of his head but it didn’t work cus adhd memory

So he made a list on his phone and he’ll double check everything’s compliant before ordering “surprise food” for dee

Remy also defends Dee with their friends when Dee doesn’t get the joke right away and is willing to explain jokes to Dee

#au ask #remy zolotov #virgil torres #dee torres #roman grimm #remus grimm #patton miller #logan salvador #Emile Picani

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jackscnfck · 4 years

Text

secret nuptials // jude and jackson

trigger warnings: none!

featuring: @judexhernandez

jacksonLast Friday at 8:23 PM

jackson was feeling a little stupid for actually staying awake and working the whole night before his impromptu wedding. he couldn't believe he was actually going to marry jude today. he decided to get ready at greyson and serenity's house before they met jude at the court house. he stole a suit from his twin because he wanted to actually look nice. he didn't want jude to blame him for their wedding pictures looking bad if he just showed up in his usual black jeans and leather jacket. he finished shaving his beard before he called jude, "good morning, almost husband. are we meeting at the courthouse or should we all drive in the same car?"

judeLast Friday at 9:00 PM

after jackson had asked him to get married that next day he had gotten very little sleep that night. jude had been waiting for this day for as long as he could remember. jack was the only man he ever loved and now it was going to stay like that for the rest of their lives. instead of sleeping he opted for watching their daughter sleep. he couldn’t wait to have the same name as her and the man he loved. when she woke up the next morning he explained to her what was going on. “but you can’t tell grandma and nana. we are still going to have a a wedding for them to see.” she nodded her head before picking out one of his suits and explaining, “cause it’s daddy’s favorite papa.” jude was about to start on his hair when his phone rang. “papa. papa. it’s daddy.” he rolled his eyes. “i know baby. hand it over.” the girl did so jumping up and down. “say that again. i can get used to that.” he whispered dreamily. “i wanna say meet there but i miss your face.”

jacksonLast Friday at 9:59 PM

jackson smiled brightly at the sound of jude's morning voice. he could picture exactly what he looked like and was a little sad he didn't get to see jude with his morning hair and stubble. "i know what you mean," he chuckled. he didn't want to wait to see his fiancee and their little monster. "i guess it would be more fuel efficient and better for the environment if we all went together."

judeLast Friday at 10:14 PM

jude was not usually a morning person and it would take him a few hours to fully wake up on his own. so he knew jack could hear it and it made him smile. he just wanted to see jack, kiss him, marry him. time could not speed up fast enough. “i think your daughter is more excited then i am.” jude turned slightly to see brooklyn jumping on the bed. “brooklyn penelope smith. stop. before you fall.” he cleared his throat before returning to their conversation. “tell your brother to hurry up.”

jacksonLast Friday at 10:18 PM

jackson wished he was there to be getting ready with jude. he knew it was unorthodox, but really everything in their relationship was. maybe it was a good thing to do something traditional. he smiled fondly when he heard jude talking to brooklyn, "she'll be fine, let her jump. it's a good day!" he exclaimed. "i actually think i'm the one running late. i couldn't help but stop to call you. i've still got to shave," he admitted.

judeLast Friday at 10:38 PM

jude knew their relationship was a little to clingy but he knew it was because they were in love. he also knew people were not going to understand that but he didn’t really care. the only thing that really matter is what they think. “if she falls and breaks her arm jackson. i’m blaming you.” he playfully joked only slightly. this was his wedding day and he didn’t really want to spend it in the emergency room. “don’t.” he said a little quickly and impulsively. but he wanted jackson here as soon as possible. he was better at doing the actor’s hair anyway.

jacksonLast Friday at 10:44 PM

"she's not going to break her arm, love," he laughed. though, he quickly leaned down to knock on the wood floor so he wouldn't be eating his words later. "hey, you're the one who told me i couldn't have a beard on our wedding day," he chuckled. "but if you really don't care, i'll leave it." he personally didn't give a shit what he looked like, he just wanted to be married. "oh, ariella painted my nails while we we're having breakfast, so i now have sparkly purple nails. kind of clashes with this suit, but i can't tell her no."

judeLast Friday at 11:20 PM

"i will hope not j because if i have to spend my wedding night in a hospital instead of being fucked by my husband you are not getting near my ass for a month." he ranted, thankfully that the girl did not hear him. she was currently distracting herself by trying to sing one of her daddy's songs. "i don't care what you look like or what your wearing right now. i just miss you and love you and wanna marry you so fucking bad." jude wanted to roll his eyes at himself. he didn't know how he was able to agree to wait two months when he couldn't even wait 24 hours. he growned loudly. "i need you to come do my hair. it's not going what you normally have it do!" jude was always the one more intuned with fashion so he would pick out everyone's clothes while jack did everyone's hair since he was awesome at it.

January 25, 2020

jacksonYesterday at 11:04 PM

"well, if she broke her arm now, we wouldn't even have a wedding night today," he replied a little snarkily. he was sure jude could picture the smirk that donned his features. "okay, okay, don't talk like that in front of her! but you and i both know you could never last a month," he chuckled. jackson smiled softly. he was so lucky to be in love with someone who loved him just as much a jackson loved him. "i know, baby, i know. i'll be there soon we have all day to do this," he tried to calm jude's nerves a bit. he could hear just how stressed he was. "babe, i literally just blow dry it and put some pomade in it. you don' need me for that. take a deep breath and calm down. this is a good day. a happy day. stop stressing."

judeYesterday at 11:25 PM

"you are soo lucky you aren't here right now, i'd slap the smirk clean off your face." he said with no vemon in his voice. at this point in their relationship they knew eachother so well it was like they always were facetiming without having to facetime. they knew every expression just by thesound or tone of the others voice. "chill out handsome. she can't even here me. dancing and singing her daddy's music." brooklyn really was the eptiome of a daddy's girl. "i have no idea what your talking about." jude shrugged, knowing very well jack was right. he tried to calm down but between brooklyn, his hair no cooperating and going on like sixteen hours without feeling jack's lips on his, jude gave up and sat on the bed. "i'm gonna wait for you." the actor knew he was pretty much the wife in their relationship but he loved when jack did things for him. he even had tricks he used to his advantage.

jacksonYesterday at 11:30 PM

jackson laughed loudly at jude's threat, "ooh, i'm so scared," he replied sarcastically. he loved the moments when they went back and forth at each other like this. "she's so cute, i can't handle it," he groaned. "was she good last night?" he knew that it could be a little difficult to handle brooklyn alone. she was really an energetic toddler. "yeah, i'm sure you don't," he shook his head. jackson laughed softly at jude giving into the defeat, "okay, but don't blame me if we're late. that's all on you now."

January 26, 2020

judeToday at 12:21 AM

jude rolled his eyes but did not say anything. he was so lucky to find someone who balanced him out perfectly at such an young age. “she’s totally you baby. she and ari are gonna continue the smith family legacy.” he smiled softly. “nothing i couldn’t handle.” jude had become a master at handling their daughter. he had to will jack being away a lot. they were still on the phone ten minutes later when he heard the door open. “that better be you or some asswhole is currently breaking into our house.”

jacksonToday at 12:54 AM

"i don't know how i feel about that," he hummed. he knew greyson had already told ariella that she could pursue music as a career when she was older, but jackson wasn't entirely sure he wanted his children to follow in his footsteps. the music business was lonely and harsh and it was hard for him to find people who were genuine. "that stresses me out to even think about, but i'm glad she wasn't too crazy for you," he laughed. he tried to be quiet while he got in the car and drove the short distance to their house, but of course the door gave him away. he hung up the phone when jude caught him, "damn, babe, i was trying to surprise you."

judeToday at 1:09 AM

“i know baby. i don’t know how i feel about it either but it’s a possibility she could want to be a singer or an actor.” their daughter wasn’t exactly normal. her daddy and uncle were very successful musicians and her papa played one of the most beloved characters of the past decade. they needed to get their minds around the possibility so it doesn’t catch them off guard when she is older. “she is a mini you mister. and i handle you just fine.” jude smiled as he heard jack’s voice. “it’s not my fault i have super good hearing.” he turned so he could see when his soon to be husband walked through the door of their bedroom. “now can you come kiss me?” he pouted

jacksonToday at 2:00 AM

"i think we can discuss it when she's older," he really did not want to get into any fights on his wedding day. it was still weird to say that it was his wedding day. "i know she is and that's so sweet but i'm hoping she'll have other passions. like, maybe she will want to be a teacher when she's older. no matter what our kids do, they'll be taken care of financially," he shrugged. jackson laughed softly, "i can never be sneaky with you." he leaned down and kissed jude softly, "yes, always."

judeToday at 2:29 AM

“of course.” the second his lips touched jack’s he was trying to pull him down on top of him but he was stopped by brooklyn saying. “gross daddy.” he sighed lightly as he reluctantly let go of jack and let the blonde climb onto the bed to sit behind him to fix his hair. within a half hour they were standing in front of the door that lead to where they were getting married. “are you absolutely sure about this?” the brunette asked, suddenly insecure.

jacksonToday at 2:47 AM

"i love you," he smiled. he laughed softly at brooklyn and picked her up quickly and kissed all over her face, "you think it's gross now?" he laughed and tickled her before he put her down. jackson quickly got to work on jude's hair and made it like he liked it. it wasn't too hard to get it done. "i'm more sure about this than i've been about anything in my whole life."

judeToday at 3:00 AM

jude sighed softly as he pulled jackson into the room where they would begin the rest of their lives. he got nervous as the judge spoke. “how would you like to do this? You can do vows before you sign or you can just sign it.” jude looked at jack to see what he wanted to do. the young man did not know if he would be comfortable telling the judge all of their business. they could always say what’s on their mind when they are alone. he just wanted to be jack’s husband and make love as husbands for the first time.

jacksonToday at 7:26 PM

jackson held onto jude's hands tightly, "what if we just sign today and then do our vows at the ceremony? that way we have more time to think of what we want to say and it can be in front of all the people we love?" he liked the idea of just waiting and sharing their love with everyone. "i just want to be married to you right now."

judeToday at 7:41 PM

jude's eyes widened, slightly surprised even after all these years he could read his mind so well. "i think that's perfect." he bit his lip as the judge spoke. "just double checking. only one of you is gonna be changing your last name? no hyphenating?" jude nodded his head. "i'll be changing mine." soon their marriage licence was past in front of them. the actor looked down and his eyes watered. with one signature his name will be forever be jude smith. "i love you."

jacksonToday at 7:44 PM

jackson was glad that jude was on the same page with their vows. he wasn't entirely comfortable sharing something so intimate with a strange judge. "you can finally be done with that name, love," he smiled. he knew that jude had struggled with his family, namely his mother, so he could only imagine how it must have felt for him. "i love you so much. more than anything in this whole world." he signed his name quickly and leaned over to kiss jude softly. he would save the passion for a bit later.

judeToday at 7:57 PM

jude was not one to be so open with his feelings around our people, not because he was embarrassed or ashamed of his relationship but because it was extremely personal. "the only name i've ever wanted for as long as i can remember." he whispered, writing his new name for the very first time, he no longer was tied to his parents if he didn't wanna be and that was a weight off his shoulders. he smiled into the kiss. "you're my husband."

jacksonToday at 8:06 PM

"it's the only one you'll have for the rest of your life," he whispered back. a small part of jackson still couldn't believe that jude actually loved him and actually married him. he was so beyond happy he wasn't sure there was a word for what he was feeling. he smiled and kissed his forehead. "and you're my husband. forever and ever." he thanked the judge and held jude's hand before leading him out to the car. "grey and ren are taking b..we've got a flight to catch."

#j a c k s o n

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canarhys · 5 years

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hOLY SHIT I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT YOUR ACCOUNT BUT JFC I LOVE IT AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DUDE Can you make a Valdangelo Godswap AU? You might know what this is from, but could you do Aphrodite Nico with Athena Leo? Leo's like a HUGE nerd and Nico's super hot and cute and always has glitter on his face, obsessed with pink, etc jfc, Leo has a huge crush on Nico and Nico also has a huge crush on Leo, but both of them are sO OBLIVIOUS and are constantly trying to improve themselves for eachother :))

“piper. piper, please explain this. piper, i’m legit about to start crying right now, you have no idea—“

“dude,” the daughter of hermes interrupted, “just like...breathe.”

[[MORE]]

“i can’t!” leo threw his arms up in the air, the predicament he was facing clearly taking a toll on his mental state — not good for a son of athena. “piper — have you seen him? i physically can’t speak whenever he tries to talk to me!”

“it’s just nico, leo,” piper soothed her friend, whose emotions were the equivalent of a knott’s berry farm roller coaster. “you went on a quest with him one time.”

“that was a year ago!” leo exclaimed. “when i had no clue that i had a crush on him and we weren’t totally awkward with each other.” his face suddenly curled in horror. “oh my god, i had acne back then. he probably thinks i’m ugly—“

“okay!” piper yelled out, grabbing leo’s arm and pulled him out of the hermes cabin quickly, making him yelp when, in a split second, he was outside and he could actually taste the oxygen on his tongue. piper placed her hands on her hips as she looked at him taking back in the air he lost. “better?”

“physically, yes,” he answered. in contrast, his brain was having a fucking field day. because only ten minutes ago, piper had brought to light the idea that leo had a crush on nico — the revelation which had caused the son of athena to have a mental breakdown because he was that oblivious to his own feelings. and it wasn’t something to feel proud of, because leo had felt that he understood everything about himself up until now.

so he didn’t even bother to question why he felt his face flush whenever nico complimented him, or why he felt butterflies in his stomach whenever nico placed a hand on his shoulder. and it made him internally scream to no end at how, for a child of an intelligent goddess, he was such a dumbass.

“well, you’re fine now,” piper said. “i haven’t seen you have this much of a heart attack since the whole jason incident... for the same reason. god, athena kids are hopeless romantics.”

“shut up, piper!” leo flapped his hands. “i just need to think for a second.”

his friend’s face contorted into sympathy, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. it made leo feel guilty. whenever something was ‘too much,’ he tended to lash out because he was having a crisis wrapping his head around whatever was happening. he apologized but she told him not to worry.

“it’s just... i just... i don’t even know,” he mumbled, burying his face in her chb t-shirt. “i think i like him... a lot? he’s really cute and i’m really bad at confessing my feelings for people. plus he’s a child of aphrodite! he’s basically out of my league.”

she grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look her in the eye. “i’m sorry, whose brilliant idea was it to create demigod cell phones that don’t attract monsters?”

leo didn’t answer and she nudged him slightly before he mumbled a small “...me.”

“and who was able to behead an entire column of cyclopes with a single ballista fire?”

leo started laughing. “me.”

“and who fought the leader of an army of rabid hellhounds and speared him through the chest?”

“okay, okay, i get it!” leo exclaimed, his smile crinkling his eyes. “that was me.”

“if you are able to defeat a rogue demigod in under a split second, then you are out of nico’s league! if he doesn’t return your feelings, then he has to raise his standards!”

leo snorted before hugging piper tight, the touch-starved soul within him begging to encase his best friend in a big hug. piper really knew how to rile people up.

“piper, have i ever told you how amazing you are?”

“i mean... i always knew, but okay.”

leo would’ve punched her if she wasn’t being amazing right now.

suddenly he felt piper shift under his embrace, he looked up and saw her with an uncomfortable expression. “uh, dude—”

“valdez?”

his heart suddenly stopped at the sound of the gravelly voice that belonged to the one and only man of his dreams. he turned around on impulse, which was a mistake because he was suddenly frozen on the spot and his fingers weren’t even moving an inch and leo was pretty sure his mind wasn’t any better because nico was right there—

if you asked leo valdez what his favorite thing about nico di angelo was, he probably wouldn’t answer and just spontaneously combust. nico di angelo had an inch on him, less thin limbs and more... well, hotness. he had smooth olive skin with galaxies upon galaxies of freckles, curled hair that was currently in a weak (yet cute) ponytail, and he was wearing a pink leather jacket with studs and clips. his dark eyes were glittered up under the lids, giving him almost a fairy look that nearly made leo collapse on his own.

leo probably looked like a gaping fish, his face dark and flushed. nico wasn’t helping. because he wasn’t saying anything either and leo really needed him to hand him a subject because if he wasn’t, leo was going to accidentally fall into his arms and kiss him senseless—

“can i...” nico started, before clearing his throat. leo was swerving by the raspiness of his voice. “can i talk to you for a minute?”

leo glanced at piper, who was hiding a thumbs up that only leo could see. he looked back to nico and could only nod.

leo said his goodbyes to the daughter of hermes and followed his crush to camp half-blood’s lake, a shimmering blue that reflected the sun overhead, a small dock leading out towards the water. leo caught sight of some water spirits, who waved at him flirtily, and he forced himself not to blush as he shyly waved back.

“that was your friend?” nico asked. he had perched himself on the edge of the small wooden dock, the darkness of his raven hair pulling away by the streams of sunlight illuminating it. he looked gorgeous as the sun cascaded across his freckled skin. his legs were crossed, and he was looking at leo with a weird face. leo didn’t know what emotion he was expressing but he hoped it wasn’t bad.

“huh?” he realized after around 9.5 seconds that nico was talking to him. “oh, yeah, piper! we’ve been friends since we were kids, we’re pretty close.”

nico raised an eyebrow before humming in acknowledgement. what, did he want him to say they were dating or something? leo could never figure him out, which was probably why leo liked him for some stupid reason — the only equation he couldn’t solve.

nico patted the empty space next to him. “sit,” he said.

leo blinked before walking over to where he was, crouching down to sit upon the dock and let his feet dangle over the edge.

“why did you want to talk to me?” leo asked. (if he had been looking, he would’ve seen nico curse under his breath.)

“oh, um, i was lonely... yeah, because my friends are on a date and they’re like the only people i hang out with so...”

leo felt his high hopes drop to a new low. oh. that’s why he brought him here. leo felt a bubble of spite fill his stomach, more towards himself than towards nico. because of course nico wouldn’t want to converse with him in the first place — leo was so insignificant that he was barely a mole on a baby’s ass. the new information already made him want to jump in the lake and leave camp.

“so i’m like your rebound?” he joked, almost sarcastically, and his eyes widened when nico’s head snapped towards him in an almost defensive position.

“no!” he yelled. “i wouldn’t just do that to you. you’re... uh...” he coughed. “you’re fun to talk to...”

the spite bubble popped, and he made a soft “oh.” he really wished he knew how any of his nerdy rants and book reviews were “fun,” since those were majority of his conversations with the son of love. nico was from the 30s, which meant that he didn’t know much from this era and leo had once been a bit of a tour guide. once in a while he would bring up a topic that leo was obsessed with and he would go into a thirty minute explanation into star wars or dc comics. then he would promptly realize that he’s been infodumping and die on the inside.

nico sighed. “look, i really enjoy your company. you’re smart and you have funny jokes.”

leo made a face. “all of my jokes are inside jokes that no one understands.”

“...yeah, but they’re funny when you know the material?”

leo couldn’t help it. he giggled. “sure, you’re just saying that.” he twiddled with his thumbs, dreading for when the conversation was going to hit death valley where neither of them knew what they were going to say. “what do you want to talk about?”

“i don’t actually know?” nico laughed, a short yet heavenly laugh where his eyes closed like butterfly wings and his mouth curled in a dashing smile. “i’m not good at conversation starters.”

“honestly same,” leo replied. “i’m pretty sure all my dialogue has been entirely based on this book series i...” he dragged his sentence before facepalming. “uh, sorry, i don’t know why i’m—”

“no, no!” nico suddenly grabbed his wrists, and leo skin felt cleansed by the touch of fingerless gloves against his arm. “tell me about it.”

leo raised his eyebrow. he had never done this before. “you sure? i can go on about it for an hour and you won’t be able to stop me.”

“no, i’m sure.” he placed leo’s hands back down on his lap. “tell me.”

that was enough of a catalyst to start talking about the latest book collection he had gotten his hands on (in greek, of course), the six of crows duology. he had finished the grisha trilogy just a month ago (in under a week, he might add), and had bought the two books at the camp’s bookstore. he had finished the first book in a single day and read again because it was just that good, but he was struggling to find time to read the other one. he had asked nico if he wanted to hear spoilers (to which nico nodded wordlessly), and leo had then gone into a rant about how dumb kaz was for not actually trying to show inej his feelings or how nina was way too good for matthias (both of which now sounds pretty relevant to the situation), then started screaming about wylan and jesper and wouldn’t stop talking about their cute dynamic and suddenly he was on the topic of grisha as a whole.

the entire time nico was just nodding and looking at him, but as leo was explaining the chemistry of all the book’s relationships, he noticed nico had a lost expression on his face. he was staring at leo, eyes gazing longingly at him with a soft smile and tint of blush on his cheeks (leo suspected it was makeup). the glitter under his eyelashes were prominent, bright pink and gold and adding beautiful contrast to his entire looks. his hair was cascading around his face in ripples. was he daydreaming? leo stopped talking to prove his theory, and nico didn’t stop staring. was he a little too much?

“do i have something on my face?” he questioned, making nico snap back into reality.

“w-what?” nico stuttered.

“you’re staring,” leo mumbled, averting his eyes from the beautiful boy. “i knew it, i’m ranting too much.”

“no, no!” nico exclaimed, waving his hands for emphasis. leo noticed his black and pink nail polish. “it’s just... your eyes are striking.”

leo an inhuman noise, confused. nico realized what he said and immediately tried to recover.

“cause they’re... uh, they’re scary! yeah, they can kill a man in one hit. i should know, i saw you take down a monster twice your size.”

there was silence. it made sense. his eyes were brown, differing from his siblings’ gray ones, yet they were still sharp and jason claimed they made him nervous when they first met. leo didn’t know if he should be proud or not. it was one thing to strike fear in enemies’ hearts. it was another to strike fear in your friends’.

“uh, thanks man,” leo said, internally scolding himself for not having a proper answer. “yours are... neat.”

neat, he screamed at himself. neat! of all the fucking words in the world, that’s what he said. god, athena must be shaking her head in disappointment in olympus. sorry mom.

(it was a travesty since neat was an understatement when it came to nico di angelo.)

“you know what, i’m sorry,” leo apologized, standing up and backing away. “i have a project i need to work on and jake has been asking me to help him with something, i should go—”

“wait!” nico stood up abruptly, which was the worst mistake of his entire life because leo watched in shock as his foot stuttered under the lack of wood under it and sent nico toppling down into the lake below. leo cried out, rushing towards the water and looking over the dock to see nico pop up from the water and gasp for air.

his black bangs stuck to his face, dripping wet with the hair tie forming his ponytail missing. he pulled the strands from his eyes, looking up at leo who had his hands over his mouth as if he was afraid of what nico was going to say next.

“are you okay?” leo asked, trying to ignore how nico still looked breathtaking after taking a dunk into the half-blood waters.

nico slapped his hands down in the water, the flying droplets hitting leo’s face and making him wince. “do i look okay?”

leo didn’t answer, looking down at the dock in shame, and already his brain was about to burst and now he was probably going to cry? because this is like the worst thing to happen to him in forever and now nico is mad at him and he won’t be his friend anymore and all this stuff was making his stomach feel like excommunicating every single acid in it. “sorry.”

“oh fuck, um, wait, oh gods wait, no, it’s my fault i— leo, hold on!”

leo could barely hear him as he did the only thing he could think of doing, not even bothering a second glance as he ran away to the athena cabin.

—

nico was an idiot.

no scratch that, nico was literally the god of idiots. the whole enchilada of idiots with an idiot army by his side.

being a son of aphrodite, nico expected himself to be a master when it came to emotions, especially romantic ones. and it showed, by his ability to patch up relationships between other campers and help them get ready for their dates with his wardrobe expertise. he was able to make monsters swoon by his voice only to set them up to kill them. he was the one, after all, that knocked sense into percy that he had a crush on annabeth.

but all of that was thrown out the window by leo valdez.

cute, adorable leo, who went for hours on end with tv series and science rantings that nico couldn’t even comprehend because he was always staring at his face, starry eyed and so passionate that it made his chest hurt. whose intelligence was able to bring down a rogue demigod general in the titan war. who was so easy to fluster and make laugh till he couldn’t breathe.

so, nothing could have compared to the absolute disaster he was when they talked a week ago.

first strike was when he had forgotten to create a valid reason to speak with him (anything other than him wanting to stare at leo in a non-creepy way) and fucked it up by explaining that he was some sort of rebound. a rebound! leo wasn’t a rebound, he was a goddamn blessing!

then was when he was caught and he replied with, “your eyes are striking.” he tried to ignore that part because he had never been that stupid, and his explanation wasn’t any better because leo probably took offense of him calling him scary (which he can be but nico likes his face).

finally — falling in the lake. the one thing he was not prepared for, making him so pissed off at how bad he was at this whole feelings thing that he accidentally lashed out at leo. it was the worst — seeing hurt cross over leo’s face with a dejected expression, and nico failing to speak a coherent apology before leo took off, obviously wanting nothing to do with him after he was such a jackass.

which he was, no doubt about it. he wondered what he did wrong, sitting by his vanity, now dry and doing his own makeup and applying glitter under his eyes. then he realized that everything from the point he realized he liked leo was wrong, because he should’ve known that he can’t be too prideful in his love abilities. and now he drove leo away.

“don’t beat yourself up about it,” reyna said, the daughter of apollo said, cleaning up her golden arrows with a small cloth. she was visiting the camp from the roman one she stayed at. “i’ve met leo. he isn’t the type to hold grudges against someone.”

“i know that!” nico spun around in his chair, crossing his arms in exasperation. “i feel bad though. if he hates me, he has a reason to.”

“if he hates you, he’s obviously a dumbass,” reyna counterpointed. “are you going to apologize though? because i’m tired of seeing you pining and not making any moves.”

“i made a move and it ended with me swimming with the fishes.”

“the only thing you said was that his eyes were pretty.” reyna leaned closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. “step up your game.”

nico scoffed. “i’m getting relationship advice by a sun demigod.”

“i’m being serious.” the daughter of apollo had a stony expression on her face. “it’s important to be yourself, i mean that’s what you told me. but if you want to go all out, go all out. you and leo will continue to avoid each other until you come out to him.”

nico sighed. “okay, but...how?”

reyna grinned, picking up a brush from nico’s vanity. “allow me to help.”

an hour later nico was wearing a mesh t-shirt and black leather jeans with combat boots that were decorated in pink flower embroidery, plus a bubblegum aviator jacket gifted to him by his mother. his hair was let down today, ending at his shoulders and wavy like ocean seas, with clips holding up his long bangs. he had his eyelashes curled and eyelids brushed with eyeshadow, and he looked himself up and down in the mirror along with reyna.

finally his best friend gave him a thumbs up. now the challenge was knowing what to say.

“knock him dead!” reyna called out. “well, don’t actually. but you’ll do great.”

“thanks!” nico called out. he was about to head to the athena cabin until he bumped into someone who ran straight at him.

“oh shit!” the person yelped, and nico’s thought processes immediately malfunctioned. “sorry, my bad— nico?”

the plan was supposed to be talk to leo, ask him out somewhere, then confess to him and wait for judgement. but that plan was basically burned to ashes when nico found himself struggling to form words as he stared at leo. his dark yet clear and stabbing eyes looking up at him, his skin decorated in small freckles under the eyes and beauty marks dotting his face delicately. his wild dark hair was like smoke, and small owl earrings hung from the lobes of his ears. he was wearing a pale blue shirt under his chb tee, blue shorts and high socks, making him look like an absolute nerd especially with a small pencil tucked above his ear and gods, nico could feel himself reaching elysium.

nico registered that he was holding leo to keep the shorter from falling, hands on his tiny waist that made his mind even more jumbled until leo’s loud and rapid voice started speaking.

“oh, nico, thank gods i found you! i wanted to say sorry, i’ve honestly been avoiding you because i thought you were mad at me and you most likely are, and you have the right to because i sent you into the water and i probably ruined your makeup — though you guys probably have waterproof makeup so i don’t know — and i didn’t even help you out which was really stupid of me because i’m supposed to be a nice person and frankly you were dripping wet, wow that sounds really wrong i’m sorry i should probably stop rambling—”

the boy took in a deep breath, but nico was squealing internally about how cute leo was when he rambled. he willed himself not to pinch his cheeks and kiss him on his forehead. “i’m sorry.”

“what?” nico honestly was lost halfway through his rant. “it’s fine, it was my fault. i should be the one apologizing. i yelled at you.”

“yeah but i deserved it,” leo mumbled, looking down at the ground.

“no, you didn’t,” nico retorted, going into defense mode. “i’m sorry, really. you want me to make it up to you?”

leo tilted his head like the goddamn cutie he was. “you don’t have to but... how?”

“let’s head to the bookstore,” nico answered. “you pick out a book and i buy it for you.”

“what?” leo exclaimed, backing up until nico’s hands weren’t on his waist anymore (which totally didn’t make him feel sad). “dude, you seriously don’t have to do that, i mean there’s a library—”

“yeah, but the library doesn’t let you keep the books. i know you like reading them over and over again.” nico held up a bag of drachmas from his pocket. “i have money. you can buy the entire store if you desire. but i’m not letting you get out of this empty handed.”

leo looked ready to go off on an entire explanation of why he wasn’t going to follow nico’s idea, and despite him being one of the best debaters the camp has ever seen, nico was determined to hold his ground because that’s what leo deserved.

leo sighed, noticing that nico wouldn’t budge. “okay, fine!” he groaned. “can i at least pay you back?”

“nope.”

“ugh!”

leo’s worries about this arrangement were quickly diminished though, when leo had seen the fuckton of books that had been added to the bookstore since he had last came there. he was gawking over some of them, even held on to three and continuously checked their summaries to make sure they were good. nico leaned against a bookshelf, non-fiction, staring at leo as he ran his finger across the covers and watched his talk to himself silently, even picking some novels up to read with focused eyes. the son of aphrodite hated how whipped he was, but the son of athena was so pretty that he couldn’t help it.

leo placed one of the books back on the table, though hesitantly. “are you sure you can pay for these?”

nico nodded. “i’m stocked up on money right now. buy whatever you want.”

“i’ll just buy one,” which seemed easier said than done to leo, because he was having an internal debate between two thick novels. he turned to nico and showcased them. “pick, i can’t choose.”

nico scanned the books. one was named the outsider by stephen king, the other children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi. nico had no idea what their summaries were or if they were actually interesting, but he was pretty sure he could pay for both.

“i can buy both of them,” he said. leo was about to protest but nico snatched both of the books out of his hands. “this all you want?”

“i mean, yeah, but—”

“no buts!” nico interrupted. “you deserve this and you don’t get to think otherwise. you want these or not?”

leo nodded. nico smirked. “good. i’ll be back.”

a minute later nico was handing a paper bag of the two books to leo, who almost didn’t grab it if it wasn’t thanks to nico’s prodding. a smile made its way onto the son of athena’s face, fond and filling nico’s empty stomach with butterflies. he looked absolutely gorgeous.

“thanks, neeks,” he said, before gasping and covering his mouth.

nico felt his cheeks heat up. “neeks?”

“sorry, it just came out!” he clutched the books to his chest as if they were a stuffed toy. “you’re really nice, nico.”

nico felt himself step closer towards leo. “it’s no problem.” but it was a problem, because nico was already in leo’s personal space and trying to think other thoughts than kissing him. “you needed this.”

leo laughed, wheezing slightly and light-hearted. “i guess.” he looked up at nico and the son of aphrodite thought he saw him leaning up towards him until—

leo’s face contorted into absolute horror, his eyes widening as they looked at nico’s shoulder. he screamed in terror, jumping and backing up quickly until he hit his head on a nearby ladder that just-so-happened to be placed next to him. nico could barely register leo holding his head in pain before his eyes rolled up into his head and he promptly fell onto the floor, unconscious.

oh shit.

nico looked down at his shoulder to find a daddy longleg hanging on to it. he yelped and flicked it off to gods’ know where, when the reality of the situation hit him. of course a spider would show up. as if the children of athena couldn’t get enough. as if nico didn’t have enough disastrous experiences caused by him already.

nico had brought leo into the infirmary and asked for the apollo kids to give the books to leo on his way out, before rushing to the aphrodite cabin and saw reyna back there, with a sunflower yellow dress, on her demigod phone when nico opened the door with a slam.

“how’d it go?”

nico thought about the day for a single second before walking towards the bed and falling down face first on it, taking in a breath, and muffled his yelling.

son of love? more like son of dumbass.

—

when leo got out of the infirmary, books in hand, he had willed himself not to drown himself in the camp’s lake.

who decided it was a great idea to make children of athena have arachnophobia? because leo had actually tried to kiss nico, one of the boldest decisions in his life, he may add, only to get severely mortified at a fucking tiny saddy longleg climbing over nico’s shoulder, getting a concussion, and passing out. and he actually tried to look cleaned up, with his best shirt and a small pencil to add. was karma doing this? making himself a humiliation in front of the prettiest boy on earth?

he wanted to march up to athena and demand her he take him up to olympus and away from his feelings.

piper had helped him with the incident from two weeks ago, after helping him a week prior when he had felt horrible about nico falling in the lake. now she was telling him, as she was eating from a bag of chips, that he should just confess and get it over with.

“yeah, like that worked,” he grumbled sarcastically.

the daughter of hermes threw up her hands in exasperation. “leo, you have to be shitting me! at this point, you both are oblivious fucks. right now, you march right over to nico’s cabin, tell him your feelings, and hope it goes well. hell, i’m sure he likes you too!”

leo sputtered. “where?”

piper groaned, lolling her head back as if she was begging her heavenly father to take her back to heaven. “nevermind. just tell him you like him.”

and here leo was, in front of the aphrodite cabin, pink and glossy and full of the prettiest people in camp half-blood. leo used to think the kids in there were airheads and lovebugs until he saw them in battle, especially nico, one of the only aphrodite campers with charmspeak. leo wished he had charmspeak so he could beat some sense into himself to go through that deadbeat door.

he let out a breath, clearing out his mind. well, here he goes.

he raised his hand to knock on the door when it opened to... speak of the devil.

“leo?” nico called out, closing the door behind him. he was wearing the same attire he had on two weeks ago, all dolled up and making leo’s face go from normal to seething warm. “i, um, i’m sorry—”

“you’ve got to be kidding me.”

nico blinked before narrowing his eyes. “excuse me?”

but leo was angry, because his emotions have gotten the best of him for far too long and nico was right there, and leo felt all his common sense get thrown out the window and get replaced by anger at the gods for all these bad happenings and shit. he was angry at himself for holding back so long, and angry at nico for not starting something earlier and pretending they could always go back to how they used to be because, frankly, leo was done. he was finished.

“i’m just gonna come out and say it. i like you, di angelo. i like your gorgeous face and your dumb laugh and i like how you try to apologize for things i neither you can control. i literally just figured i had a crush on you like three weeks ago and honestly i’m just done because i’m a son of athena so love isn’t my strong suit which really isn’t that surprising but you get the point. you make me smile a lot and i like it when you hug me and i don’t even know how to interact with you anymore because you make my brain genuinely malfunction and i hate you for it, i hate you but like i like you too and i really want to kiss you—”

he was cut off by nico suddenly surging forward, locking their lips together.

leo made a surprised muffled noise, eyes widening before eventually closing them in bliss, wrapping his arms around nico’s neck and letting the taller hold him by the waist, firm hands grasping him. he felt himself melting in nico’s arms, kissing back and unconsciously bringing his hands up to caress nico’s soft hair.

nico brought up a hand to hold leo’s head, rubbing circles on his back. leo barely remembered that he needed to breathe, and hesitantly leaned away, looking up at nico, who looked as blissed out as he felt. his cheeks were scarlet, his eyes full of hearts.

“wow,” leo muttered. “did you—?”

“mhm,” nico hummed.

“and was i—?”

“mhm.” a fond smile crossed nico’s face. leo felt himself fall in love all over again. “do you want to come inside? just to talk! and maybe kiss?”

leo smiled, glad they were finally being blunt with one another. “i’d love to.”

#this took so long hurgh #also i’m sorry for not seeing your ask earlier!!#and thank you!! you’re super sweet!! :) 💕#pjo #leo valdez #nico di angelo #valdangelo #i’m sorry if they seem ooc i wanted to meld their personalities to make them seem like actual children of aphro and athena #also i literally can only write awkward valdangelo #i hope you like this cus rip me #also the ending sucks but.. oh well..

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authorskookies · 7 years

Note

so this is my first time ever requesting a prompt but i just got so excited knowing you're back i just had to; would you mind doing an enemies to lovers!au where kookie and jimin aren't as close as what fans are being led on and actually dislike each other but they have this sexual tension until it just breaks one day and BAM! hate sex but no one knows and slowly they fall for each other thru small gestures but w a lot of angst bc i like pain. omfg please and thank you !

Title: I Hate You (But I Really, Really Like You)Pairing: Jikook (Jimin/Jungkook)Word Count: 5,832Rating: NC 17Warnings/Notes: Mild sexual content (+ there’s a choking scene too).Summary: Jimin and Jungkook hate eachother, but Jimin can't really tell if this is what hate is supposed to feel like after a while.

Jeon Jungkook.

The Golden Maknae.

Confident, talented, charming, lovable, innocent Golden Maknae Jungkook who makes all the Noonas' hearts swoon at every wink or smirk.

The Jeon Jungkook who gets nearly all the vocal lines in their songs, who receives all of the extra praise for doing things that the other members are doing just as well if not better.

All because he's just. So. Perfect.

He's the Golden Maknae, they say!

Well he's a little shit, Jimin thinks.

Park Jimin is not a fan of Jeon Jungkook. He can't stand the brat, the way he looks at everyone as though he's innocent and playful, childish and fun loving, just sheepish and hard working like a good kid his age would be. Well Jimin knows he isn't, he knows what lies beneath that facade, the narcissistic, sarcastic, cocky son of a bitch that Jeon Jungkook really is.

But alas, the mask is way too convincing to the rest. Everyone just gives him a pat on the back for it, Jin even gets motherly over him; that seriously pisses Jimin off actually, because Jungkook is not a baby and he shouldn't get that goddamn special treatment. What was so great about him? That he could sing? Couldn't they all? That he could dance? Jimin could dance entire routines while circling around that show off. That he had a baby face and cute bunny teeth?

Oh, because visual members are so hard to come by in a world of idols and thousands of trainees with faces just as pretty.

"You're doing the entire routine wrong, your feet are getting too sloppy and that's gonna mess us all up."

"Oh? And what, you're doing any better? Your half-assed body rolls are stiffer than Namjoon hyung's were back when we were trainees."

"You know you're talking a lot for someone who's usually too busy sucking PD-nim's dick." It's a low blow, and Jimin knows it but he doesn't back down at all, he's been holding it in for a while, how obvious it was that Jungkook was that much of a kiss up.

However it does more than just voice Jimin's annoyance on the topic of Jungkook receiving special treatment for his schmoozing. It throws more wood to the flame already growing inside the younger, definitely hitting a nerve. "Say that again, and I swear..."

"What, that you're a kiss ass? Sorry to break it to you, 'Golden Maknae', but some of us here actually gotta work to get noticed, instead of just winking and acting all young, cute and innocent."

"Work? Oh so flashing your abs at every chance you get is hard work, you think? But hey, that's what got you noticed huh? Why come at me for what got me noticed?"

"I'm not... that's not even... Shut up, that's not the same. I work hard to get my body in shape and it's part of a routine we learn, I don't think that's the same as getting praised for shit that isn't even valid half the time. Oh look at that, Jungkook got out of bed! Wow! He's so grown up now, Kookie Oppa, stop growing up!! Ohhh!!"

At this point both boys are in each other's faces. They can definitely see the pure rage burning within the other with one meeting of gazes, both squinting as this little argument continues to roll on.

"You're just fucking jealous."

"Jealous?! Of what?! You're a little brat with way too much credit for what you actually do! I fucking hate people like you."

"Well you don't have to worry, that feeling sure is mutual, I hate you just as much; but then again, since I am the Golden Maknae, and obviously do evening better than you? I hate you more."

From an outsider's perspective, the two would resemble that of cat and dog, always at each other's throats, barking and hissing at every chance presented. Sometimes the others wish their practices were public, so that they would have to play nice again as part of their usual act. It would so be well worth the lack in privacy in Yoongi's opinion if he at least got some quiet when trying to work. Obviously trying to write lyrics here wasn't a smart idea.

"Are they still fighting?"

"Obviously, when are they not?" Yoongi gives Seokjin a look of annoyance, and the elder frowns, just holding out a hand to help him up, then looking to the others packing their things.

"Just leave them behind, they'll get tired and realize eventually. Unless you wanna hear this go on in the dorms." Namjoon offers, and no one makes any argument because they're all exhausted and really want sleep.

"I hate you," Jungkook pants out in between harsh, breathtaking kisses, tongues tangling and teeth present more than they should ever be in kisses. He thinks his lower lip is bleeding, but who gives a shit right now. "I fucking hate you so much." It's repeated over and over while Jimin presses him against the wall of the closet, the younger latched onto him tightly.

Jimin can feel nails pressing into his back, digging even deeper every time he thrusts into Jungkook, like the kid is trying to make him feel just as much pain, like he's punishing him for not properly using lubricant. Hey, it's not exactly like he planned this to carry that around with him or anything!

It's such a small area, too, it doesn't give the elder much wiggle room, they're on the floor and Jimin's on his knees in between Jungkook's bent legs, Jungkook's got his back pressed to the wall and by some miracle they manage to fit this way. It's not in any way perfect, no, the Maknae sure as hell isn't going to shut up about the fact that his shoulder blades keep hitting the wall the faster Jimin goes, that his voice isn't going to be on its usually perfect pitch because Jimin's making him moan too goddamn loud.

But maybe that's what he wants, to piss the younger off like this.

Especially when things get even more heated, when the entire closet is just full of their exhaled breathing and they can only hear each other's panting and moaning, hissing and cursing. When Jimin can feel the younger unravel near his peak, even the older male feels like his body is going to give out, sweat coating his skin and more than likely Jungkook's as well.

Nails pull out of his skin, and instead of inflicting such pain on Jimin's back Jungkook just wraps his arms around his shoulders, gripping him close and tight as he reaches climax and it's probably the most beautiful sound that Jimin's ever heard. Not that he'll ever say such a thing, but it's definitely something to think about in the small time they both take to calm down from their high.This isn't how it's supposed to be. They're supposed to hate each other, he knows; well, technically, they're supposed to love each other as group mates of course, but in reality they hate each other, although behind that, they don't...? It's all just so confusing to Jimin, it's like going in blind to what used to be a clear pathway, now dark and foggy, much resembling the hazy lines between I hate you and harder, Jimin, harder.

Which is what Jimin heard, over, and over again. It's not new to him that Jungkook is vocal, they've been at this little unspoken agreement for a while, but Jimin doesn't like to be told what to do... At least not by those younger than him. Especially not by Jeon Jungkook.

"Jimin, go sit in between Taehyung and Jungkook."

"Why?"

"The fans will like it, they like the Maknae line, just do it. Hey, stop looking like that, look alive boys! Turn on the charm, especially you Jimin." Their manager warns, pointing at the shorter boy, who just groans at the thought, going over to sit as directed, not understanding why he has to be here, why he of all people was cursed with the task of "loving Jeon Jungkookie" for the rest of his on-camera career. God he wonders what would happen one day if the cameras figured out what they really thought of each other--at least Jungnkook got it easy, he can at least shove him away and show that he doesn't like it playfully as a rejection. Jimin's stuck playing the lovesick monkey here.

"Hello we are Bangtan Sonyeondan!" The others chirp at the camera and Jimin realizes a bit too late, but smiles none the less, hopping into the conversation and listening to the others speak.

The entire interview goes by rather slowly, in Jimin's opinion. It's supposed to be shorter than what they're used to, however the fact that he's bored out of his mind doesn't help he time pass by. Most questions were reserved for Namjoon or even Yoongi about the album, a few for Taehyung for comic relief. It's only when they mention Jungkook that Jimin realizes his only real purpose in being here.

Ah, of course. As always. Make the little shit look good.

"I would rank myself very low--"

"Aigooo our Jungkookie, so modest. He's so shy, really these kids these days. We all know he's so perfect at everything. What can't he do?" Forced smiles are so much easier to come by when you have other humorous thoughts in your head, and that wasn't very difficult for Jimin because his entire presence here was a joke in his opinion. His only way to chime in was praise the maknae, and of course, he'd do it well. Like told. "You know he's even taken up his hand at writing, too, he's been helping Yoongi Hyung in the studio lately, with our last Outro, tell them all about it Jungkookie."

Bullshit, Jimin thinks to himself as Yoongi joins Jungkook in talking about the song he had a hand in writing. Big deal, it wasn't as if he'd put in as much work as Yoongi did, or as Namjoon, or as anyone involved in composing their music. But of course, the Golden Maknae touches a piece of paper and suddenly it goes platinum.

Jimin's never felt so good hurting someone. It sounds sadistic, but the way his fingers curl around Jungkook's neck while his palm keeps him pinned against the bed, it feels so incredible. Not just the fact that he's pretty much choking Jungkook... But the noises Jungkook makes, they're not that of serious pain or cries for help. They're... Encouraging.

Jungkook's enjoying it. His own nails are digging into Jimin's forearm, barely open eyes gazing at the elder as lips remain parted to try and grasp any form of oxygen.

Never in his entire career did Jimin think he would ever fuck, and partially choke, Jeon Jungkook.

"J...Jimin..." Hoarse voice brigs him out of his thoughts, loosening tight grip from around the younger's neck a little as he realizes the double tap to his forearm, signaling that he was getting lightheaded. His thrusts are slowed, and Jimin has to lean down to capture his lips... Not because he wants to, but because he needs to make sure he's responsive and well, not actually passing out. That's all. It has nothing to do with the way Jungkook's sweet lips taste or how delicately soft they still manage to be even after Jimin's spent their time together biting and sucking and nipping at them; they should be outright mangled and split at this point, but of course, Jungkook's just so goddamn perfect that even laws of logic don't apply to him. The only sign of imperfection when pulling away is the slight swell in his lips, looking even more so as they part to pant out for air, the flush in his cheeks evident at their eyes meet momentarily. Imperfection never looked so perfect. And that pisses him off.

Thrusts pick up new found speed, elder releasing Jungkook's neck and growling lowly as he grips at the bedsheets along his sides. Jungkook whines out, back arching as the bed creaks in ways they both know would be heard so easily had the other members been home... But they weren't. And as always, whenever left alone, Jimin and Jungkook either resulted to arguing, or fucking.

It's become more the latter as of late. And that makes Jimin nervous.

Because when he used to look down at Jungkook like this, he wouldn't feel an ounce of regret, his marks would be angry and red and he'd find pride in pissing Jungkook off, they'd curse and shout and Jimin would want nothing more than to make him feel true pain. But now... Now he was having difficulty leaving marks dark enough to last anymore. His skin was soft, fair, it was too per... No, he was not going to result to calling Jeon Jungkook perfect after so long of hating the kid.

When he used to look down at Jungkook, he'd know this was just for the sake of release.

When he looks down at Jungkook now... He finds himself watching the younger, coaxing him into release as well, pleasing him before himself―

Shit.

"I have a problem." Jimin blurts out upon entering the room, causing the other presence within it to glance up to him. He has a seat next to Taehyung, who's set aside his phone to give him the attention requested and Jimin takes a moment to make sure no one else is around. "Is this a Jungkook problem?"

The question has his heart stutter several beats, because for a moment he thinks Taehyung has found him out― but how, so easily?! "I mean if you guys got in another fight leave me out of it man." Relief washes over Jimin, figuring that of course, Taehyung hadn't meant it the way he thought. "No, no... I wouldn't come to you with a problem about our fights... Again."

Taehyung chuckles, thankful because as the mutual friend, he hated having to take sides which was often a desired result between those conversations. "Girl problem?"

"Yeah, let's go with that..." Jimin licks his lips. "How do you know when one emotion ends and one begins?"

"I'm not sure I'm following?"

"I mean... Like, let's say I'm not sure how to feel about this girl. Because I thought I felt one thing, but now I'm feeling another. Does that make sense?"

Taehyung's eye brows are furrowed by the time Jimin finishes his explanation, but nonetheless he nods. "I think... So you're saying your feelings are changing? Well that's normal, isn't it? As time goes on, a relationship has to develop. Things change over time."

"What if I don't want them to change?"

"Then don't let them? I don't know, Jimin, these are your feelings so control them somehow. You have the power to do that you know."

No, he really doesn't.

He thanks Taehyung, despite not finding any of this helpful... He just hopes his friend won't go mouthing off that Jimin has some girlfriend or is in love or something dramatic like that.

"Your voice is scratchy. It's ruining our harmonies." Jungkook complains while he and Jimin are supposed to be recording, but alas being sent into a small booth alone was not a smart idea, as Yoongi and Namjoon were soon to find out upon trying to get them to harmonize for the past half hour. "Can you two just try again? Christ, if one of you cuts it off one more time I swear I will fucking lock you in there for the night." Yoongi growls, and it's no surprise because their bickering really has been driving him crazy today.

"It's not my fault! He's the one who keeps stopping!" Jimin snaps, pointing at Jungkook before the younger shoves him. "Bullshit! You keep hitting the wrong note and ruining everything!"

"For fucks sake, just do it, I'm the one who says cut and determines whether or not it's wrong. Got it?" The eldest cocks a brow and starts the track again, waiting for the two to at least try to cooperate this time.

Both decide to suck it up, ignoring the others presence as they sang and this time when Yoongi cuts the track, it isn't due to their bickering, it's actually constructive this time. "You don't sound like you wanna sing together."

"What else is new."

Yoongi's one more smart remark away from back handing this brat.

"I mean, your voices aren't in sync. The point of harmonizing is so that your voices sound smooth together, not like individual recordings forced into the backing vocals of a track." He sighs, playing back the recording; it wasn't terrible, both of their voices fit nicely with the song, but individually, not as a whole. "Maybe I should... Get someone else to pair with one of you. Or just get two others completely. Tae's voice might work..."

"What? No! No no, we're sorry, Hyung let us try again! Please. We'll work harder!" Jungkook immediately starts, not wanting to possibly lose his part. Of course Yoongi doesn't need that much convincing, because Jungkook's begging can get to anyone, and Jimin takes obvious notice of this... Why doesn't he hate it like he usually would? Probably because Jungkook is saving their asses. Yeah, that's it. It has nothing to do with how he pouts out his lower lip and pleads for another chance, or the fact that he squeezes Jimin's shoulder like he's trying to prove further to Yoongi that they'd 'play nice'.

This time goes a lot more smoothly. Instead of ignoring each other's existence... They worked together? It's a little off, but it's a start.

He's hard.

Plain and simple.

Usually it should've been easy to handle this... Usually Jimin could've just gotten himself off, or better yet had another rough session with Jungkook because he's always up for it... But oddly enough his time he doesn't want to seek out Jungkook. Lately he's been avoiding it, which is odd, but after that last session with those... Feelings... He fears the possibility of it happening again. He doesn't know what that feeling is, and he doesn't want to, he hates Jungkook. Hates him. That's it.

Speak of the devil, and Jeon Jungkook shall come. Said teen makes his way into the dorm, probably coming back from the dance studio of course with his attire all athletic and sweaty. "Has anyone showered yet?" He asks, kicking off his shoes and praying that the answer was no, that there was still some hot water left. "Uhh... I think Jin hyung might be showering." He mutters, shifting a bit and holding one of the couch cushions in a way that would cover his crotch, pretending to focus on the television.

Jungkook groans, hearing the shower in fact running and this meant there would be at least another fifteen minutes to wait. "Are those my shorts?" He asks suddenly, and Jimin's brows raise, shocked he would even dare accuse him. "They are not!" Without thinking he yanks the pillow off, getting up to show the obvious white stripe at the top hem that Jungkook's didn't have.

If only he'd realized the small smirk on the younger's lips earlier. The little shit tricked him. "Made you get up." He's getting way too cocky for Jimin's taste, and he scoffs. "Okay, fine, what? You're acting like you've never been fucking hard before. Which I've sure as hell witnessed, thank you very much."

"I didn't say anything actually, but nice save." Jungkook slips his hoodie off and tosses it aside, leaving him in his loose tank top. He doesn't hesitate to go over to Jimin, shoving him back to lay on the couch, and before they knew it the younger was crawling into the space between Jimin's legs. The elder leans up on his elbows immediately, and while usually... He should've just let this happen, he didn't. "Yah, what are you doing..." He mutters as his zipper is tugged down, reaching down to grab at Jungkook's hair to pull his teeth away from the hemline of his boxers, forced to look up at him in a quite irritated manner. "The fuck does it look like?" The younger asked as if it was clear (which, it kind of was).

"Well don't."

That's different. Jungkook gives him a weird look, not moving still. "Since when do you say no to getting off?"

"Since when do you offer so easy?"

Well that shut him up. Well played. The younger decides it isn't worth it, he's tired and he sure as hell isn't in the mood to argue more than they already do, so he gets up. He shoves Jimin's thighs so he could move his legs to allow Jungkook off, and he grabs his hoodie on the way out. "Fine, get off your self, asshole."

The moment he's gone, and Jimin knows it because he can hear Jungkook slam his bedroom door, Jimin drops back against the cushion of the couch, letting out a large groan as he palms his face. What was wrong with him, they had a good system, and here he was fucking it up.

"You want some?" Jimin offers from his yogurt, holding out the container with the spoon still in it. Jungkook pauses and glances up from his phone, half expecting maybe Taehyung or Hoseok to be sitting next to him and be the ones Jimin was really talking to. But no, it was him.

"What'd you do, poison it?"

"What? No―I'm offering you some yogurt, damn."

"You're acting weird. I don't know what it is but I swear, if you're up to something, and before our comeback..."

"I was just being nice!" He snaps, groaning and slapping the container back down onto the counter, before storming out. Jungkook frowns, watching him go in confusion because what the hell was that?

"Jimin it's me, open up—"

"For the millionth time, use your goddamn honorifics, I'm older than you." He grumbles once he's opened the door to see the other standing out in the hall, rolling his eyes at Jimin's words. "Fine, Jimin hyung, get me off."

"Excuse me?" Jimin snaps in hushed tone, in case any of the others were listening in; Jungkook knew better than to say anything about their activities out loud like that, so he must've been sure no one was around before having come to him. "I haven't properly gotten off in like a week, and neither have you so if you'd kindly let me in and get it over with I'd like to get back to my room before the other's get home." Jungkook states nonchalantly, crossing his arms as he waits for the other to decide; he doesn't expect to be turned away, after all Jimin never turned him away and the younger's pretty sure it's just because they're both hormonal and need a release somehow and being so busy with work it's just easier. Well that's what he tells himself, too.

Jimin takes a moment to look back and forth in the hallway, just to make sure no one was around before pushing the door to his room wider to allow the other in. Part of him thinks he shouldn't go along with this again, because of the feelings he's been having, but after having to get himself off last incident when pushing Jungkook away on the couch, he really can't compare his hand to the younger and he's had to figure it out the hard way.

"First of all, what makes you say I haven't properly gotten any? Who says you're the only one I'm fucking?"

Jungkook gives him a look that wreaks of smugness, holding back a snort at the comment over how ridiculous he found it. "Right."

What a pain, Jimin thinks, and doesn't comment further because he really can't think of anything else to help his nonexistent case since Jungkook is right. He won't let him know that, though.

By the time Jimin locks the door, the maknae is already tugging off his t shirt.

Things go how they always do. Tongues tangle and skin presses against skin, and suddenly the air around them starts to thin out rapidly in Jimin's opinion. He needs to breathe. It's unfortunate that the moment his lips are free, they let out more than just exhalation. He doesn't know what causes it to happen, but it just happens.

"I like you."

"What?"

What started out as harsh kisses and playful tugs has now turned into a tense atmosphere and silence.

"I can't do this because I like you now. It's hard because I want to fucking hate you but the more I do this the more I really fucking like you."

Jungkook's stares in bewilderment, not having expected that answer at all. He knew there was something going on, something that was messing with their usual system but he never would've thought of this as a possibility.

Without a word the younger pulling away completely to reach for his clothes, picking them up rather awkwardly before just carrying them in a bundle over to the door to leave in his underwear. He didn't care if the others were to see him that way, he just needed to get out of this room now.

And with that, Jimin stood alone in the middle of his room, eyes closing before palming his face and groaning a quiet 'fuck' into his palm.

They haven't spoken for days.

Not like they used to gab like best friends before, but their bickering took up a lot of the conversations had in the practice rooms and even at home. Now, though, it's almost always silent. And that's unusual for the group.

Don't get them wrong, they've been begging the two to shut up and stop fighting for years now, but now that it's actually happened and they have the peace to get their own words in... it's almost awkward to try. They're used to having to yell over the two to talk to each other. They're also not used to them just looking mopey and or tense like they were, something was clearly wrong and they could all tell.

"Hey, you okay, Kookie? You haven't been seeming yourself lately." Taehyung starts, using a rag to wipe the sweat off of his forehead after a long choreography practice. Jungkook hadn't given any input the entire time, even when Hoseok was instructing him, which is usually when he liked to give ideas to the elder. "I'm fine... Sorry, I guess I just haven't been very up to talking lately."

"I noticed, you're so quiet, it's even got Jiminnie quieter... you two haven't even been fighting lately, how weird." He wrinkles his nose as Jungkook flinches at the name, not wanting to think about it.

"Right, weird..." Forcing a small laugh, Jungkook picks up the bag that he's finally finished loading up.

"Just try your best to hit the note, you've done it before, Jungkook. Stop acting modest all of a sudden." One of their producers tries to get through to him, sighing when the younger frowns and tugs off the headphones from where he stood i side the booth. Yoongi sits up in the chair near the man, raising a brow at Jungkook through the glass. "You alright there Jungkook?"

"I don't think I can get it, can one of the others do it?" He pleads, earning a shocked look from both Yoongi and their producer hyung. It's uncharacteristic of Jungkook to just give up or say no to a challenge at all, and here he was giving his solo away?

So, Yoongi spoke up. "Jungkook this was written with your voice in mind. What is going on with you?"

Flinching, Jungkook just shakes his head and sets down the headphones, making his way out of the booth and bowing his head apologetically. "Just tell Jimin hyung to do it or something." And with that, he takes his leave, confusing the man and making Yoongi even more so.

"You need to talk to Jungkook."

Well, that's one way to say hello, Jimin figures as Namjoon takes a seat on the couch across from him, the others joining them in the living room like some kind of intervention. "Excuse me?"

"You two haven't spoken in almost two weeks."

"Aren't you the ones who always used to tell us to keep it quiet or stop fighting?"

"Yeah because it's annoying. But now he's barely managing his vocals, his focus is all over the place, he won't even look at the interviewers—he's a mess over it.""I'm sorry, I didn't catch how this was my fault? You guys are seriously blaming me over him acting weird?""Oh for fucks sake, Jimin we know you two are fucking!" Yoongi snaps finally, and Jimin tenses up, cheeks flushed as he looks between the others to see that they'd all pretty much agreed. "You guys aren't very subtle..." Seokjin offers apologetically, before Jimin clears his throat and looks away to try and avoid any awkward eye contact with Taehyung especially; he wonders if the other knew when they had that conversation a while back. "Were not judging you, I mean we've kind of respected your privacy for the past few months..." Months, they've known for months?! "but what ever happened, you need to fix. It's messing with the group."

Jimin thinks he's going to be sick. All of his hyungs, in the same room, talking about him and Jungkook's sex life like they've known all along. It was the most awkward encounter he'd ever had.

However they do have a point. If it was messing with the group, something needed to be done, but...

"I don't know what to do. I don't know where anything went wrong." Yes he does. He had to open his big mouth and let out his feelings. He couldn't just accept what they had that was good.

Taehyung has an idea.

"Let's take a walk."

Jimin and Taehyung's walk doesn't end up being what Jimin thought it would be. He expected them to have a long, dramatic talk about how he didn't tell Taehyung and why he kept this from him, maybe even explaining the relationship itself. But no, instead they just... walked. Like they normally did, sharing stories in what they did that day, how Tae was hungry, etc. It almost calmed his nerves, even.

Until they reach their destination; the company building. Jimin's not sure what to make of it, but he follows the other in without asking why they're there or where they're going.

The practice room is where Taehyung stops, opening the door for the elder to go in first, and he does, expecting the other to follow him although all he hears is the click of the door shutting and locking. Spinning around immediately, Jimin starts to knock at the door, shouting "Taehyung!" and asking what he was doing, until the younger responded with "I'm sorry Jiminnie, hyung's orders! You two need to make up! Call me when you have, I'll be back later!"

And that's when Jimin realizes why he's here, and that he's not alone.

"Uh, did Tae just lock you in here?" He hears Jungkook ask from the other side of the room, in his sweats, clearly looking like he'd been practicing and probably confused as to why he was interrupted. Jimin awkwardly nods, watching the look of confusion on the other's face.

As it turns out, Jungkook's grown a bit more calm over the past few days. Who knew that when they weren't arguing, they could actually have a normal conversation. Jimin's slowly starting to realize it as they talk about what Jungkook's day was like (after coming to terms with the fact that they were stuck in there, of course, and were just sat down in need of something to pass the time).

"... So yeah. I've just been here all day I guess, I mean the others didn't shove me in here like you, but... Why'd they do that again?"

"They think we need to make up."

"Hasn't that been a concern for years? Why this now?" Jungkook laughs, wondering just why they would do this now if they were barely even arguing anymore. They were barely speaking, even.

Jimin is quiet for a moment, deciding to finally bring up what they probably should have for a while now. "No, they mean recently. How we stopped talking. And stopped, well..." Pausing for a moment, he can see the look of confusion in Jungkook's expression and decides to just be honest. "They know about us. Well sort of. They want us to make up in that sense."

"They want us to have sex?"

"Jungkook." The elder gives him an annoyed look because he knows he's not taking it seriously, and Jungkook shrugs awkwardly after trying to humor the topic considering he knew this was going down a path he would soon find uncomfortable and nerve wracking. "They kept telling me that you're like, acting weird and not acting like yourself and just... why? What's going on with you? If it's because of what I said then just forget about it because I know it was messed up to say. We're not like that, we can just go back to how things are, I swear."

"What if I don't want that?"

"What, you don't want to fight everyday and act like a smart ass?" Jimin mocks, watching the younger roll his eyes.

"I get tired of fighting sometimes."

"Then why have we been doing it for years?"

"I don't... know. I'm competitive. And when you rile me up, I just do it back to you. I didn't know how else to react and it just kept going back and forth. How would you act when hearing someone say they hate people like you?"

"I didn't mean... I... But you—"

"I said it back because you said it first. Not because I wanted to." Frowning awkwardly, Jungkook shuffles back against the wall and hugs his legs. Jimin stares at him, almost speechless. "I don't hate you. I never hated you, I actually liked you a lot—" At that the younger stops talking, growing sheepish and looking up at the ceiling to avoid having to look at the boy sitting in front of him.

Jimin doesn't need to hear it twice. Something comes over him, and the next thing he knows, he's leaning over to press his lips against Jungkook's. The younger doesn't pull away, instead closing his eyes and just accepting the soft, plump lips against his own and for once, not trying so hard to compete for some kind of dominance in something that wasn't even a competition like they'd done so many times before.

For once it feels nice, to not have to fight him over something.

"I want to hate you, but I really... really like you."

#jikook #jikook fanfic #jikook drabble #jimin #jungkook #works #long #canonical #nc 17 #smut #not super explicity but to be safe ig #enemies #bratty!jungkook #taehyung #yoongi #hate sex #sorry if this didn't fit expectations of the prompt i hope you still like it ><#anonymous

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m0onbean · 7 years

Text

Bonfire (Camp Counselor AU!) Chapter 4

category: floofy

pairing: sanha X reader

warnings: cussing

note: WOW I FINALLY UPDATED THIS SERIES! sorry it took so long... i lost inspiration to write anymore, was caught up in requests, and a whole bunch of other shit. enjoy!

What you expected for your first night at Camp Moon was definitely not a shirtless MJ running around the cabin clanging pots and Moonbin screaming BTS lyrics.

"EXTRA PLUS ORDINARY... GEUGEOTTO BYEOL GEO ANYEOOOO!!"

Groaning, you used the pillow you brought from home to muffle your ears. "DO NOT WAKE ME UP UNLESS YOU ARE RAP MONSTER."

Hurt, Moonbin clenched his chest but left the room anyways. You heard groaning from above you which reminded you of Sanha's presence.

"Good morning Sanha," you sighed and started to climb out of your scrambled bed. You heard some shuffling of blankets above you and a lengthy yawn. Chuckling, you finally manage to leave the room to brush your teeth and get ready for the day.

When you finished and closed the lights to the restroom, you were taken aback by the glowing face standing in the door way.

"AH!" You yelped and stumbled back. Upon closer inspection, you realized that it was just Rocky... being Rocky.

His customized flashlight was shining under his chin and he was smiling mischievously. "Good morning (Y/N), ROCKY SWAG. It's currently 6 am, congrats for waking up earlier than Sanha!"

"Kinda difficult to not wake up when MJ is literally slamming metal pots together and Moonbin is screaming lyrics to Not Today," you sarcastically replied and headed back towards Sanha's room.

Rocky chuckled and followed behind you, "Be prepared for that every weekday morning. Which reminds me..." he pulled out a crumpled paper from his hoodie pockets and tried to straighten it out. After failing at straightening out the completely wrecked piece of paper, he just handed it to you.

You looked over it curiously and saw that it was a document that held this entire week's schedule. "Right now we're going to eat breakfast in the mess hall and come back and start preparing for our kids to arrive later at 12," Rocky explained as you read everything.

Nodding your head, you attempted to fold it neatly and place it in your pockets. "Sounds great! I'm excited to meet our kids."

He smiled, "They're always wonderful every year. By the way, since we have some time, head over to the office to get your own flashlight right now."

Obeying him, you quickly changed into a shirt, jeans, and hoodie, and marched down to the office. As you headed there, you caught a glimpse of the other camps' cabins. They were of all different sizes, representing how many people were in each camp. Clearly, Camp Moon had the smallest cabin, but possibly the nicest one.

At a glance, Camp Sun's cabin could definitely be mistaken for an office. It was no wonder why you accidentally approached them first, mistaking them as the office instead of an ACTUAL cabin. It was ENORMOUS. Different flyers and posters were taped on the front door and it basically gave off that official vibe.

A shiver ran down your spine when you were reminded of your encounter with Howie. To think that you shook his hand even frightens you to this day,

Upon arriving at the office, you noticed some adults working at the front desk, occupied with their work. You opened the glass door to be welcomed with a powerful heater blasting warmth. Sighing in relief, you walk up to one of the workers and greet them.

The woman had round glasses on, brown bangs, and a cute camp outfit. "Hi my name is Leslie, nice to meet you!" she shook your hand and sweetly smiled.

"Nice to meet you too! My name is (Y/N), I'm new here." you cheerfully replied.

"Ah, are you the new Moon everyone's been talking about?"

You were caught off guard. "H-huh?"

Leslie cocked her head at your unawareness. "Yeah! Everyone's been talking about how Camp Moon finally got a new member after years... and how it's a girl!"

Scratching the back of your neck, you looked down to the floor in embarrassment. "Oh... yeah. That's me."

"Well, welcome! It's really amazing how you fit into that camp. I'm in Camp Venus, I just got duty to work in the office for now."

"Oh, nice! About that, I'm here to customize my flashlight."

"Okay, follow me!" she gestured you to another room where different sorts of machines lined up against the wall. Shelves and cabinets were everywhere, making the room really look like an arts and crafts room.

"What color do you want your flashlight to be?" Leslie asked while looking through the different cabinets.

"What colors have been taken already?" you asked while watching her.

She hums and takes out a document. "Jinjin took green, MJ yellow, Eunwoo blue, Moonbin black, Rocky red, and Sanha pink." (these are based on their power ranger colors from ASTRO OK READY)

"I'll take white then," you answered while remembering how Sanha showed you his snazzy pink flashlight.

Leslie nodded while scribbling on her notebook. "I'll make the flashlight right now and give it to you during lunch."

Thanking her, you were about to turn out the door before she stopped you.

"Wait... You know Jinjin right?" she hastily asked and a pink tint rose on her small face.

You rotated your body to face her again. "Yeah. The one who talks slowly right?"

She laughed, mouth curling up and eyes smiling. "Yup, that's him! He's always been like that."

"What about him?"

"Oh... u-uh... can you ask if..." she shyly lowered her voice. "-he likes me?"

Upon arriving at the cabin, you saw that everybody had woken up and was running around the house in a rush. They all screamed good morning at you not before rushing in and out doors.

"What's going on?" you asked curiously while dodging all of their movements.

"We're behind schedule!" Eunwoo screeched while trying to pull up a sock on his foot.

Shoving your hands in your pockets, you took the crumpled schedule out and tried to read the text. Indeed, you all were supposed to be at the mess hall by now.

"It's all because Sanha couldn't get out of bed earlier!" Rocky whined while sitting at the couch casually, waiting for everybody.

Once they were all done washing up, everybody walked out the door, bodies shivering from the morning air. Although you put an extra layer of sweater on, it was still cold. Why didn't you bring any winter coats?!

Sanha noticed your arms shaking so he walked up behind you and hugged you tightly while waddling like a duck. Giggling, you copied his motion and the both of you waddled together with his arms wrapped around your body.

"Get a room," Moonbin groaned and hugged himself alone.

As you all walked across the mountain to reach the mess hall, you spot another group also heading towards there. The group was made of a TON of people marching simultaneously.

"Who's that?" you quietly asked.

"Camp Sun." Jinjin answered in a low voice.

It was pretty obvious considering the extremely buff and large man leading them all, Howie. Sanha hugged you tighter as you all kept on walking while keeping wary eye contact of them.

Inevitably, the both of your camps met at the front of the mess hall. Howie gave your group the stink eye. "You guys are late... as expected of you Moons."

"We could say the same about you," Eunwoo scoffed.

The buff man scowled, "Be prepared to get your asses beat in the tournament next month. We have practiced all the games together and let's just say you'll be faced with another defeat... again."

His eyes met yours and he examined you carefully. "Huh, a new girl? Aren't you the menace who came up to my door on the first day?"

Your body stiffened, "Yes. I'm so glad it was the wrong door."

He cackled, ice driping off the edge of his voice. "All of us agree. We wouldn't want a weak girl like you here anyways."

"HEY! Don't fucking call her that when you don't even know her." Sanha suddenly barked while gripping tightly onto your hoodie.

Howie eyed him suspiciously, "Why? Defending your GIRLFRIEND I see?"

A blush crept up on Sanha's cheeks. Before Jinjin could beat Howie's ass, the door to the mess hall flung open. Behind the doors stood a tall lady with tied back blonde hair.

"You guys are so freaking late! Get your asses in here!" she scolded and turned around back to the cafeteria.

After giving eachother one last death glare, the two of you entered the huge auditorium. Loud conversations boomed in the room as soon as you stepped in. Lunch tables were set up with a bunch of people sitting at them together. The boys lead you to a table near the walls of the room and you all sat down together.

"Sorry you had to see that (Y/N)... we have bad tension with Camp Sun." Jinjin muttered shamefully.

"Oh, it's fine." you waved off.

"They're way too competitive, but we don't accept their hate like that," MJ spitefully said, venom dripping off his voice much different than his usual honey sweet vocals.

Sanha stayed silent with his head bowed down shamefully. You nudged his shoulder, "Are you okay?"

He nodded at you but said nothing else. As the other members talked amongst themselves, your hand found Sanha's and your fingers interlaced.

"Sanha... tell me what's wrong," you quietly urged so the other members wouldn't hear.

He sighed in defeat and glanced at you, "I just don't like how Camp Sun is probably going to pick on you now for being a 'girl' which I don't even understand..."

Giving him a reassuring smile, you squeezed his hand. "It's fine Sanha. I can handle myself."

He crooked his eyebrow silently but squeezed your hand back anyways. "I'm trusting you to stay strong (Y/N)..."

"What are you two talking about?" MJ nosed in by stretching his arm and leaning next to you guys.

"What did we say about choosing favorites!" Jinjin pouted solemnly.

"Ah, I'm sorry guys! It's just that I had something to ask Sanha, that's it!" you urgently insisted.

They all rolled their eyes and gave you a we're salty and you should further explain yourself look. To your defense, Sanha also spoke up, "Don't worry, she was just checking on me."

Moonbin suspiciously eyed how you two were still holding hands under the table. Realizing what it looked like, you quickly released your hand from Sanha's and shoved it back in your pocket. "I-It's not what it looks like..."

MJ gasped dramatically and stood up. "(Y/N)... You're cheating on us?!"

Everybody else except both you and Sanha's burning faces all stood up and gasped.

"What about us? What about everything we've been through?" Eunwoo sang with his face in his hands.

"And what about trust?" Moonbin continued and sobbed.

"Guys sit down everybody's watching!" you hissed at them like a mother while forcing their bodies back down on their butts.

To your relief, the High School Musical performance was immediately ceased once a familiar round glasses girl walked up to your table and tapped your shoulder next to you. "Hi (Y/N)!"

"Oh, Leslie!" you exclaimed more happily than it should've sounded.

"Since you're new here, want me to give you a tour of the camp? That is, if you haven't seen it yet," she pushed up her glasses.

"That sounds great!" you jumped up to her offer.

Sanha pouted and grabbed your arm carefully. "I thought you were going to eat breakfast with us."

Leslie looked at him weirdly, "I think she should have a tour here first."

Moonbin jumped in, "No, she should stay here with us since we've only known eachother for one day and we hadn't had breakfast together yet. The tour can wait."

"Well, I think the tour should be now since she won't have a chance to go on it later due to the incoming children," Leslie firmly tugged on your arm.

Looking back and forth, you were left speechless.

"Why don't we just let (Y/N) decide by herself?" Jinjin offered. Leslie's facial expressions immediately softened when her eyes met his.

"U-uh yeah. Sounds good," she retreated like a cat moonwalking back to the shadows.

Everybody's faces turned to yours expectantly.

#astro #kpop #astro scenarios #astro fanfic #astro fanfiction #astro imagines #astro reactions #mj #jinjin #eunwoo #moonbin #rocky #sanha #yoon sanha #sanha scenarios #sanha fanfics #sanha fluff

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ffuuuuuuuck · 5 years

Text

september 24, 2019

Today was such a bad day my thoughts kept pulling me in different directions- all of them bad

ended up skipping class today, thought about dropping out of school entirely like a lot

like, i know im capable of it and it’s not even hard, it’s just the looming fear of failing again like i did in my first highschool. I’m falling into the same patterns, it’s getting harder to maintain a positive mentality. it sucks because i was doing so good and then one thing sets me off and im back on my bullshit.

somehow writing it out makes me feel a little better, makes it feel like the thoughts aren’t all just stuck in my head.

my family helped today- my mom sang one direction with me in the car because i think she could tell I was on the verge of crying lol. That’s what she used to do with me in middle school and felt bad about the way i looked- it was cheesy and dorky but nice. she also took me to meet my baby cousin for the first time since she’d been born-5 months old and shes fat as fuck but also cute as fuck

i think i might just go back to spending time with my family again- it was easier than having to deal with friends. I love them, but i don’t feel the same with them anymore. it was different when i was into the same shit- smoking weed, doing drugs, doing nothing but walking around all the time. but now i’ve got school and work and actual responsibilities, and none of them seem to get that. Some of them even get mad because i cant spend as much time with them. I understand being upset, but it just makes me feel worse because i already feel worn thin. Plus, we dont really have anything in common anymore other than weed. Even that i’ve been trying to quit, but that’s all they ever wanna do and my lungs are all burnt out. And frankly, i like the feeling of being sober better than being high now.

I guess that’s the only thing me and Maurice had in common. When we first became friends, i was so happy to have someone like me. Into musicals, into anime, into all these dorky things my other friends weren’t into. but now its nothing but weed or talking about her ex boyfriend, or our friend bianca. I’m really glad her and bianca get along so well- i knew they would, i would always try getting all of us to hangout so they could get to know eachother more. But now it just feels like im on the outside. Whenever im with them they always just go off in their own space, talk about their own things that i can’t contribute because i wasnt there or not in on their inside jokes. I tried for awhile to just get used to it, because i shouldve been just happy that they were happy. But then they started hanging out without me all the time, and yeah, it makes me a little sad but no biggie it’s not like theyre my only friends. it feels like im not allowed to feel anything, like anything negative that i feel is just a sign that im getting bad again. But it hurts, like a lot. Bianca is always going on about stuff she told maurice, how maurice said that and that her and maurice always do this, and how great maurice is. Maurice is always saying how amazing bianca is and how much she loves her, how’re theyre gonna go do this and that. lately they started inviting me to hangout with them, but at this point it just feels more like pity than anything. Even when we’re all together, it’s like im intruding on their space. It just sucks. Like it’s not like i want to break them apart or anything, or for them to include me more. I don’t really want anything to happen, like im happy they get along. I just feel shitty about it. Even today, i found out something new about Bianca and yeah it was cool learning that about her but she threw in “really you didnt know? Maurice knows” and i dont know why but it stung. Probably because i was already feeling shitty today.

Maurice had asked me earlier in the day to hangout with them tomorrow- but it was only because it had come up in the conversation because i had told her about something concerning bianca. and honestly, i felt like i couldnt go on pretending anymore to be ok. so i told her that i didnt mean to sound like a dick but i didnt really like hanging out with the two of them together- but i still liked hanging out with them seperately. which, typing this out now i realize i really went the wrong way about this. It’s different when its just me and maurice and me and bianca, its not much different and nice. but when theyre together i just feel really crummy. i wanted to try to tell her that but she just told me “okay whatever i dont even wanna ask why.” and hasnt talked to me since. my mom said if they cared theyd understand, but im not sure i even went about it the right way, if there is a right way to tell your friends that. I told her what happened and she said that bianca would talk to me about it because my mom said that she definitely cares.

But when i told bianca about it, about maurice being upset with me and what i had said, all she said was how did they exclude me. That we played cards together that one time. That we had gone to go get hair dye that one time. I explained to her that yeah, when we went to go get hair dye it felt better because i was actually apart of their conversation. but the other times i just didnt feel like i belonged there with them. She wasnt upset about it like maurice was, but she seemed... i dunno, annoyed? not annoyed but like it was just me back on my bullshit. like it was all in my head. I think she did say it was all in my head. And after we left school a guy we knew was supposed to come with us, and she said “What, are you gonna feel excluded because Robbys coming?” in a really sarcastic voice. I just put in my headphones after that and actually did my homework. Because im supposed to be the chill one- im supposed to be the emotionless one, the one who doesnt let anything bother them because if i acknowledge that im hurt, then that means i could be getting unhealthy again. But fuck dude it did hurt. I barely tell my friends what I feel, and to be shot down like that, to be treated like i was just acting dumb again really hurt. especially because it wasnt like i was asking for anything to be different, other than me not wanting to hang out anymore. also especially coming from bianca. Out of all the people, i felt like i could count on her the most. I guess i was wrong again. Which sucks because its not like my brain goes to “ok they were a dick that time whatever”. When im not feeling good (aka when im not drugged out), my brain immedietely goes to wow what a dumbass trusting people again.

It didnt help that Quenten came to hangout today. I normally love seeing her, and everytime i see her she vents about her problems and i support her because i know she has a lot on her plate all the time. But today it just made things worse. She vented like usual and i tried to support her the best i could, but when i tried to talk about something that was bothering me she kinda just shut me down. Cut me off, started talking about her problems again. Usually she does that, but today it hurt because i really needed someone to talk to, and i thought we were that person for eachother.

Some shit went down with this Guy one time, and its kind of fucked me up. For awhile i tried my best not to let it get to me, tried staying friends with him and making the best of a situation because everyone told me that it wasnt that big of a deal. Not directly, but through their body language, the way they just change the subject, so i just believed that. Tried letting it go till eventually it built up inside me and blew up and left me feeling ruined. The other night i saw the Guy, and i had been doing so good, had been feeling happy and safe and just better. But he walked past me and it was like all of that just fell apart, i felt terrified again and unsafe and it was that feeling all over again, of not getting a choice, of not getting to have control, of putting my complete trust in someone only for it to be ruined. Anyways, its been leaving me fucked up for the past couple of days, and i just needed someone to talk to that wouldnt brush me aside. Im not sure why i thought that though. Quentin still thought highly of the Guy, still cared about his opinion i guess. its not like they were friends, but still. I shouldve known she wouldve blown me off when i tried talking about that situation.

I might need to see a counselor about it, because theres no one that i can even really talk to about it. I tried with this one girl, and she really helped me. But then it turned into a shit show because she outed the guy when i asked her not to, and one of my ex good friends came to me, and basically said i was making it up. when before we stopped being friends she believed me and understood why i got scared around the Guy. I guess that situation fucked me up too lol. But theres no one i can talk to, no one i can even bounce my thoughts off of. I wish i could talk to my mom about this. Sometimes she’s really good with this shit. But i know telling her about this will just make my life worse. Ill go to being looked at like some broken pitiful thing. Im not. I might be broken but im strong and i dont want to be pitied or someone to get mad in my place. I think some part of her already knows.

I think im done talking for today. Guess spilling my guts is too much too.

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