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lovesickeros · 3 months

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☆ decadence divine [ act I ]

{☆} characters arlecchino, neuvillette, furina {☆} notes yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings yandere content, stalking (implied), kidnapping (implied) {☆} word count 2.3k

ARLECCHINO

Arlecchino was wont to leave social gatherings to her subordinates– the private meetings were where she thrived. It was so much easier to lure your prey into a trap when you didn't have prying eyes and ears waiting for the barest hint of blackmail.

She clicked her tongue in distaste, her eyes narrowing beneath the mask of the fox as she set down her cup sharply. It was difficult as it was to draw them from the safety of their bubble– at the slightest hint of danger, her quarry would run. A chase would be fun, but she couldn't risk getting caught here. The political nightmare it would cause..it already gave her a headache. She had to be discreet.

They weren't making it easy, however.

Which is why she never liked crowds. But this chance didn't come by every day. She wasn't going to simply let it pass by because of a little danger. She'd have them eventually, it was just a matter of how. There were already numerous of her own lingering in the crowds, hidden beneath the masks that every patron bore. It was difficult to stand out amongst the flurry of masked patrons constantly shifting around the room, moving from one conversation to another, gliding from one dance partner to another.

Her heeled boots clicked sharply against the tile as she stalked through the crowds, keeping a wide berth yet always lingering nearby– she was sure they could feel the vague sense of being watched, but with the huge crowds..her lips quirked into a grin with the barest flash of teeth. There were a great many ways to break them in– she'd spent a great amount of time and mora to get anything she could for blackmail, if she so wished. She had the backing of the Fatui as well if she played her cards right– it wouldn't be difficult to convince them that they were a valuable target, and none of them would dare to question just what she did with them afterwards.

Perhaps a bit of play, first. Test the waters. She was familiar with playing the polite gentleman, despite her status as a Fatui Harbinger. Stage something for her to intervene, perhaps, to look the hero. The look of shock when she revealed the wolf beneath the wool..she could see it already. That wide, doe-eyed look as they realized the monster they've followed blindly like a lost lamb..she was beginning to see the appeal.

All it took was a few hushed words and subtle signals before the tiles started to fall in place, her hand gliding along their lower back as she leaned over their shoulder with a thin, predatory smile. She'd have to organize for the agent to be released later, her eyes following as the Gardes dragged him out of the room in a flurry of curses, but for now..she tilted her head to peer down at them, polite and almost apologetic.

"You aren't too startled, are you? Now now, there's no need to look so..scared, poor thing. I won't let another lay a hand on you," She cooed in a sickly sweet tone, the husky rasp of her voice whispered in their ear like dripping honey. "You have my word. Now, why don't we get you some fresh air? Come. Allow me to escort you."

Her lips pulled into a jagged grin at the relief in their eyes– the blind lamb following the shepherd as it led them into it's maw. Just a little longer, and she could finally have her own caged bird– a pretty thing to admire, to protect, to possess.

Something no one else would ever touch again. Something hers.

NEUVILLETTE

Neuvillette was not one for parties. The intricacies and delicate handling of public relations he oft left in the capable hands of Furina, rather then himself. It was only at her behest he even attended at all, but he still felt rather..out of place amongst the bodies constantly shifting through the ballroom like a constant rush of water from one end to the other, no rhyme nor reason to the flow. The only thing that kept him afloat among the tides was the mask of the deer obscuring his face– even if it was exceedingly difficult to truly hide himself among the crowds, most passed over him without second thought.

Though he had to be honest with himself, even if he couldn't bring himself to admit it to Furina despite her insistence that his attendance was mandatory. He had his own reasons for coming– selfishness that left a sour taste in his mouth. It was purely by chance he'd seen the briefest glimpse of them prior, and he..was intrigued, that was all.

He refused to let his thoughts linger on the sleepless nights he spent prying every piece of information he could from loose tongues and obscure documents, every moment he managed to squeeze in between trials spent lingering in their most favored locations– cafes, stores, restaurants, the like.

Now a masquerade.

He tried not to let the guilt gnaw at his conscious, but it lingered like an age old scar that still ached.

So he relegated himself to simply residing in the further corner, nursing a goblet of water like a fine wine, trying not to let his eyes stray to the brief glimpses of them through the ever moving bodies filling the center of the room, dancing like puppets in music boxes.

Still, his hand twitched in an instinctual desire– a need to clasp his hand in their own, to touch his lips upon their knuckles, to indulge in a moment of reprieve and unshackle himself from the mantle that bears heavy upon his shoulders. He seeks reverence, worship, but not of himself– but towards the one who had drawn the eye of the dragon amongst the waves of humans he'd seen come and go for a great many years.

No one could compare, he is certain. None have left him as breathless, as hopelessly infatuated, as the one who made him wish only to kneel at their feet in senseless reverence until he could no longer speak. A hopeless man, indeed, if he has never even truly met them.

Instead he's spent his time prying into their life from the shadows. Caution, or simple cowardice?

He dares not ponder.

Yet in his ceaseless pondering he'd blocked out the world without, failing to notice the figure stepping up beside him until their hand brushed against his elbow– just the briefest touch, but it had his pupils narrowing and his entire body tensing like a coiled spring. That touch..bliss. It left him breathless and lightheaded as he tilted his head to regard them, his lips parting in a shaky sigh. They are as beautiful as he remembers– even with their face obscured beneath the mask, he would never forget them.

"Greetings, Monsieur– I hope I didn't frighten you too much." Their laugh made him feel rather faint, just the sound of their voice making his hand tighten around his cane. "..Not at all. I was simply lost in thought." He admitted apologetically, trying to reign in the urge to cup their face between his palms. A dangerous thought. He didn't want to scare them off when they'd provided him a priceless opportunity.

"My apologies, you must have needed something. It was rude of me to have been so absorbed in my thoughts to have ignored you." He continued, gently turning to set his goblet down– offer them his full attention, be a gentleman. The words rang in his skull like a ceaseless alarm, blaring and rattling his thoughts as he gently took their hand in his own. It was a split second decision– an indulgence, but he could simply not help himself. Even with his gloves between them, he felt like he was going to lose his composure just from such a brief touch..

He truly was a hopeless man before an altar, praying for a salvation he intends to bury deep beneath the waves– to keep it hidden in the darkness of the depths that only he can reach. A selfish man, he must be, to even think of it, but it is an itch that he cannot scratch. A need that must be satisfied. He cannot allow any hands but his own to tend to them, to know what it feels to touch them, to hear their voice and see their eyes as he prays– prays like a man starved, devotion born of desperation.

"I hope I did not make you wait too long." He smiles, soft and affectionate, like the bloom of spring beneath the winters chill– yet just as deadly, only masked by the sweet fragrance of flowers.

He had waited too long.

No longer.

FURINA

Furina was right at home amongst the crowds– where the masks obscured the identities of most, it was impossible to not recognize the charming banter of the Hydro Archon beneath the mask of the lamb as she graced the masquerade with her presence, speaking with a silver tongue to any who would listen. A truly enthralled audience fitting for the grandest of performers in Fontaine.

But her eyes lingered not on the people who's praise dripped from their lips like honey– yet so very bitter upon her tongue. Even the mask obscuring her expression did little to hide the longing that had her visibly deflating like a popped balloon. She hated all the eyes on her, really– it was suffocating. She was only putting on a show in the foolish hope that they'd finally pay attention to her. Just her luck, she supposes, that instead she's had to throw herself straight into the role of Archon without a pay off..

They hadn't even spared her a glance! It would be infuriating if not for the fact she couldn't even keep her composure just seeing them across the room. They didn't even have to look at her and she could feel the heat rush to her ears as she forced another smile at the crowd gathered around her. It was unfair how easily they could fluster her without even knowing it– her heart was thumping so hard against her ribcage she felt like it might burst.

Her only solace was the fact none of the patrons seemed to realize she'd clocked out of the conversation, her thoughts and eyes lingering on the distant figure– what a lovestruck fool she makes..it was a chance encounter she'd seen them during one of her outings. That was all it took to enthrall her, evidentially, try as she might to have ignore it for months.

They never left her mind for longer then a day, in the end, and she had to face the fact they had managed to enrapture her so deeply she felt like a newborn lamb learning to walk whenever she so much as thought of them. What an embarrassment! She..she was the Archon, she had a reputation to maintain, she couldn't be seen fawning over a human.

But oh, she still longed for it, beneath the veneer of a God. She'd watched them more times then she'd admit even to herself, wishing to find herself in place of those who'd hands were cradled so casually in their own– to hear their voice, their laughter, as often as she pleased..like a fine delicacy she so badly wished to taste, yet so far from her reach.

Would they think her pathetic for her infatuation? She pursed her lips at the thought, trying to bury the sour mood beneath her faux image of the Archon. Yet it lingered, and with only the quietest of excuses, she slipped into the crowd like a ghost– she needed to leave before she did something..stupid. Neuvillette would surely have a few choice words with her if she did, and she was inclined to avoid such a fate.

She..she just needed a moment to collect herself was all. That was it. She could go back to playing Archon for a little longer, she just needed a moment to herself. At the very least, the balcony had been regarded as off limits so late into the party– which gave her an opportunity to slip out of the public view for the briefest of moments. A welcome reprieve– she was starting to feel suffocated amongst the crowds.

Perhaps on instinct, she reached for the mask, lifting ever so slightly away..only to let out a startled yelp at the touch of a hand on her shoulder, the mask slipping back into place far too easily. It made her lightheaded, even now, but she dared not to dwell on it.

But when she turned sharply on her heel to chew out the person who'd followed her and had the gall to scare her..oh, she was done for, her ears flush with heat. The brief glimpse of their eyes beneath the mask, the curl of their lips as they smiled– her heart stuttered in her chest, and she was certain it had stopped all together when they clasped her hand.

"Y–you.." She wanted to be angry, to brush them off and leave with her rationality in tact, but the warmth of their hands on her skin rendered her speechless. She was no better then a fish on land, struggling to fill her lungs with air as she drew in a shaky breath. "Ahem, you caught me off guard. That's all. Surely you do not make it a habit to sneak up on people?" She huffed in indignation, trying to mask the fluster that threatened to break through her carefully crafted facade.

Ah, what a cruel twist of fate..she'd slipped away to escape their allure, but here they were, dragging her back into their orbit without even knowing how deep her infatuation ran. They were alone, too..it was a chance she wasn't sure she'd ever get again.

Maybe, just this once, she could do something for herself rather then everyone else.

She buried her guilt, the fear– buried it beneath the need to be seen.

"But if you want to make it up to me.."

#genshin impact #genshin impact yandere #genshin yandere #neuvillette x reader #yandere neuvillette #yandere neuvillette x reader #arlecchino x reader #yandere arlecchino #yandere arlecchino x reader #furina x reader #yandere furina #yandere furina x reader #fic tag #pats neuvillette this noodle dragon can be so pathetic #aiming for pathetic desperate and slightly guilty. it gnaws at him knowing he's keeping you like a bird in a cage #esp if you react extremely negatively hes like a kicked puppy #not outwardly but internally hes a MESS. sobbing crying wailing #furina and neuvi sopping wet kittens u found in a cardboard box in an alley #vs arle thinking abt all the crimes shes going 2 commit in the process w/o an ounce of guilt. blackmail? check. kidnapping? check.#a little murder for flavor. as u can see im coping horribly w being practically snowed in rn i need 2 be put down #its like 4 degrees out rn (fahrenheit) and getting colder ueueueue i am dying..........#only thing keeping me going is my furinameow plushie coming. eventually. staying strong just for her.................#also needs 2 be mentioned all the stories r separate ksjfkhdsf #no not everyone in fontaine is yan and trying 2 kidnap sorry for getting ur hopes up..#yet #anyway u cant convince me arle isn't bribing (or just straight up forcing) her agents into doing stupid shit so she can “save” you #and make you owe her #two silly goofy little creatures vs the personification of gaslight gatekeep girlboss (heavy on the gaslight)#also split this up in 3 parts bc. lol. lmao. im not writing 9 characters at once goodbye #also all the masks do actually have significance i have an entire essay on why i gave each animal to specific characters okay

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serrangelic-art · 11 months

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the bestiessss

#DO NOT SEPARATE THEM #grandpa needs his emotional support hacker #overwatch #siebren de kuiper #sigma #sombra #my art #fanart #i was so disappointed in starwatch when there was no sombra #no wonder siggy's evil he doesnt have his granddaughter #TAG EDIT: i learned like a day after posting this that story mode and pve were two different things #so from the leaked voicelines i remember #sigma will get some story attention!!!!!! PLEASE i need more sig and sombra interaction theyre adorable #olivia colomar

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onismdaydream · 5 months

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sorry, still thinking about puppy leon and his big eyes and pouty lips when you have to put him in his kennel :((

he has a nice one, plenty of room for him so he doesn't get sore or uncomfortable, and it has his favorite blanket and toys, and he even steals your sweaters sometimes so he can smell your scent. he doesn't mind being in the kennel if you're home, sometimes he just likes napping in there rather than other places, but as soon as you have to lock it? he gets so sad !! he knows that he'll be alone and he doesn't like it :( and you promise it's just for a bit, that you'll be back as soon as you can, but he still hates it. he begs you to leave the door open, whining softly and living up to those puppy dog eyes. but you know that he'll end up wandering around (even if he promised not to) and he might do something bad, or worse, get hurt. it wouldn't be the first time you came home to something broken or him having an accident. and you know it's not really his fault, he's just a little puppy after all, but it doesn't make it okay either. you try to explain that it's for his own good, and eventually he does stop whining, but he still begs with those eyes and it always twists your heart.

what's even more painful is hearing his soft howl-like cries as you leave through the door, knowing that all he wants is to be around you :(

#i would do whatever he wanted if he did that puppy face 😖#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #puppy leon #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x reader #perce.doc #this was gonna be like. a sentence or two but i kept rambling lmao #i really need a separate tag for these types of posts but im lazzyyyyy #resident evil #.resi

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hanzajesthanza · 1 month

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being a hanza fan is bullshit btw because when you want to buy merch of them you cannot just get one of them because they will be. lonely .

#i guess you could get two and it wouldnt be character neglect (treating them like they are small animals)#but i think overall they want to be together #they are a set do not separate 😭😭😭#which is even harder because alejandro colucci never illustrated angoulême so we can’t have her in a full set of the books. denied #the elbow-high diaries #this either saves me money (i give up) or wastes me it (i go all in)#i could swing regis-milva regis-angouleme cahir-angouleme or cahir-milva. those pairings would work #separating the hanza by gender on the other hand is not advised as it leads to insufferability and annoyance #regis and angoulême are like SCPs that need to be contained because in event of a breach others go insane

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mishapen-dear · 5 months

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god but why wouldnt they expect bad to run. why wouldnt he have been rhe first to leave, the first to beeline straight for that boat. he got his son, his baby, his number one priority- of course he would protect dapper above all else. of course he would leave

but they dont know. he went back for the other eggs. he wanted to trust the other parents to take care of them, to get them out, but there’s always one that’s forgotten in the chaos. always somewhere bad can help pick up the slack. he cpuldnt forgive himself if they lost a single egg- so he took dapper with him, just dapper, the way it has always been him and dapper, and went back for the other eggs, because he couldn’t trust the other parents to take care of them, because he thinks he is the only one who cares enough to protect them

And he’s wrong. he’s so wrong. but in a way, too, he was right. right about the straggler, and right about being the only one who could take care of dapper, right about being the only one who cared about all eggs- because they were alone. over and over, bad has been told that he’s not alone. that he wont be. that there are people there for him

but when the nuke went off, and dapper finally listened and ran ahead, he was alone

#qsmp #qsmp badboyhalo #this will give him PROBLEMS!!!#YIPPEEEEE #the problem with qbad is that he’s motivated by love #the problem with qbad is that he fights too viciously for it #why wouldnt he stomp and claw his way desperately to that finish line #its all he’s been doing for two weeks #but he was doing it for the eggs #not just for dapper. not just for pomme #for the eggs #and its more thay bad and dapper were separated from the group than outright abandoned but #man #it did not feel like that from bad’s pov #why wouldnt bad be able to take care of dapper.... he’s taken care of all the other eggs before...#theyve seen how the dog bites...#why would he even need help?#and yet.... and yet.....

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damianbugs · 7 months

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Tim and Dick brotherisms or Tim and Damian brotherisms?

WRONG QUESTION. tim dick brotherism AND tim damian brotherism is the only way to heal the earth of its wicked ways.

ever since i made the connection that Tim's robin is Dick, and Dick's robin is Damian, and Damian's robin is Tim — i have known nothing but peace. this brother trio outsold all others.

i really appreciate what they mean to each other, because it's something very specific to the three of them and their roles as robin. even when dick's robin was beginning to deviate from batman and find it's solo path, fighting a legacy he isn't yet aware he's created, it was still the robin tim knew and loved. damian hasn't ever had a stable batman mentor, but he was the One constant as robin to dick as batman, teaching him responsibility and empathy in a way the mantle was restricting him of when learning to carry it alone. and then damian's robin being tim, The Robin he met and fought with when he first arrived, plays such an important role thematically and emotionally. it's the 'all you could be, but all that you are not' that forces damian into finding his own path, his own role as robin that he grows to love and protect with.

damian is robin in a way tim isn't, in the same way tim is robin in a way dick wasn't. and dick is the first one who watches how the mantle is shared and how it is ever changing, interconnecting the three of them in a past that both hurts them and teaches them to be better.

tim dick damian brotherism THE WORLD!

#i am not normal about this trio #do not seperate them #but on the real i can also talk about tim&dick and tim&damian separately #because they are two of my top fav batfam dynamics #just needed to spread the tim&dick&damian brotherism agenda #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #robin

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simcardiac-arrested · 1 year

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an understanding [1/2]

(part 2)

#hi. oh my god someone kill me it has been Way too long #like a month. sorry about the wait but end of the school year has been killing me. you know how it is #asks will now slow down too because i need to. finish part two first #hopefully posting this will motivate me to do it ?!?!??#maybe i’ll release it in june. Like um. like silksomg. lol (bursts into tears)#in the meantime. feeding you all not crumbs but whole bread slices. ok!#anyway. i like how this turned out. glad they’re errr ‘talking it out’ as the kids say #also forgot to make that masterpost stuff whatever. will probably do that sometime in this life #anyway 2. passes out #myart #oc: no way back #oc: needless separation #mycomics

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spaciebabie · 3 months

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would smash leshy

#spacie spoinks #was only a matter of time not sorry #i thought leshy was a girl at first and b/c of that was very attractive 2 me #i found out leshy was a boy and was like ''aww :('' and the emotions fizzled out but now they're back again #leshy.....hmmm #i want 2 have a one night stand w/him and have it be the best night of my life. never 2 be replicated again.#we go our separate ways and never talk again #where was that one anon that was like: oh so you're favorite characters are yellow or green or something #leshyyyyy #i wanna squish him #i would do crazy things 2 leshy dude #man. why would bamsara do this 2 me #constant intriguing ship posting and now i wanna bang a leaf monster . okay.#so stupid #my life is already ruined w/springtrap I DONT NEED ANOTEHR GREEN MAN IN MY SKULL!!!!!!!!!#houuugh springtrap.....man....im thinking about him again...........#euaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahghgggg #fuuuuck man #two of them. in the microwave that is my mind #going round and round #they're both awful #anf very. sexy.#UGH!! WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

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anominous-user · 5 months

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triple threat end card but with the honkai inpact trio. and also bald TT.

#the henry stickmin collection #thsc #honkai impact #bronya zaychik #kiana kaslana #raiden mei #do i tag. the thsc trio for this. i mean they are here as bald as they can be #i guess.#charles calvin #henry stickmin #ellie rose #a-u edit stuff #note that i edited them based on their poses/expressions this does NOT mean bronya = charles or mei = ellie cuz #characters flip around a lot in my edits there is no set standard except for maybe like one lr two characters and even then.#ok anyway i mainly edited this with the honkai trio cuz. they dont interact enough in the story.#like its funny when you think about it but like they separate in the early chapters and only reunite completely in the final arc of part 1.#and i wish there was more. just like how i wish the tt dynamic was more fleshed out #theyre nice and all. just. nothing for me to chew on #ok rant over #i actually am currently redrawing the end cards in the same vein as honkai cgs i jist needed to get this out of my system #i was also highly considering leaving kiana bald. jsut like her great-grandpa^44 kevin.

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pathetichoney · 1 year

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[Image ID: A drawing of a selfie taken by Sam Manson with Damian Wayne. They are both dressed up in formal attire, Damian in a black/dark grey suit with a red tie, and Sam in a purple topped off the shoulder dress with black straps. She is wearing a variety of jewelry, a necklace with a bat pendant, a black choker with a star of david in a circle pendant and cartoonish spider shaped earrings. Her hair is reminiscent in her half-up hairstyle, but with two ponytails rather than one. The background is a dark wall, a white collumn and white tile flooring. There is a window in the back, with green curtains, and outside the window is a cityscape of Gotham at night. There is a watermark of the artist’s username in the top left corner @pathetichoney. End ID.]

i am back on my bullshit this time with a v special new way that i’m drawing bc i got a new phone that i am paying out the wazoo for, however i can draw on it so my art has gotten significantly better. though of course i had to test myself and do both 1. a full background 2. a character who wears lipstick which i always struggle with unless their mouth is in a particular position and 3. a character that i have never ever tried to draw.

so like. rip me lol.

anyways i am back on my bullshit bc this is fanart of fanfic!!!! i always feel exactly in my element when i do this, it’s just always so good??? and fun?? and when i first read this fic, i mean oh god i just fell for it so hard. i ended up rereading it again like barely 48 hours after i’d finished reading it the first time lol

the fic in question is a damian and danny are twins au! it’s called Leap Before You Think by TourettesDog and i just-- the characterisations are just so well done it all feels incredibly natural especially with the merging of the two different universes into one cohesively and seamlessly it’s wonderful. there are a few faults with this pic i think, however i am still incredibly proud of it. as a bonus, here’s a better view of the window scene because i’m still really proud of that one:

#my art #danny phantom #batman #batfam #dp x dc #dp/dc #sam manson #damian al ghul wayne #fanfic fanart #also i am not jewish and i could not find a solid answer for this: but my intention w sam's choker necklace pendant was to be #the jewish star of david however when i looked online to find if i was right when i was doing the image id it was called a wiccan symbol?#as in the star of david in a circle and i couldn't find an answer to the question if they were two separate symbols or they're the same?#if this is NOT a jewish symbol then i can v easily change this and will make an edit for it even if it looks rather gothic for sam #i added the circle because the star that i'd drawn felt unfinished but i can v easily go back and add more detail to the star to remove it #as for damian i wish i could have accurately portrayed his murder scowl but due to my unfamiliarity with him i literally had to redraw him #like 10 times and i was v much relying on my friend to tell me exactly what i needed to adjust rip #in the end i gave up because this was the closest i could get to him and sigh oh well #i'll get it better next time i draw dp/dc stuff bc i probably will be doing it again soon lol #ALSO i am still v new to writing image ids so if there's any issues with this one please let me know!

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natsmagi · 7 months

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sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents

first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!

what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)

i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....

i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?

which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!

all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.

#maybe ill delete this later idk but i just felt like i needed to say something #as i constantly see these things being spoken of yet never do these people actually reach out to femstarries #and ask Hey why are you doing this?#so instead they make bad faith assumptions and it really sucks.#and while im here;#trans hcs count as genderbends. Because you have changed the characters gender #*IF the org chara is a cisman and you make them a trans woman i should add #once again Stop treating trans and cis people as two separate things #if it was a cisbend itd be CALLED CISBEND #and the reason i tag genderbend is because i know some people dont like it #and thats valid!!! no one is forced to like this kind of stuff!!!#and some people who dont like genderbends might be new to enstars and dont know what femstars is #so should it not still be tagged for those people too?#should we not look out for the trans people who dont wish to see their favs be a different gender???#i dont get it. i really dont #this post probably wont even reach the right audience but wtv #nat rambles #nats enst posting

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