#the tl;dr of this post is simply: i love to try new things
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bound my first little fic zine with my own seminal dumbass gay hockey rpf fanfiction top to the bottom, just cool!! i followed these perfect and thorough instructions on binding a fic zine from @eat0crow and typesetting the text block was done according to these incredible instructions by @armoredsuperheavy. i really would have had no idea where to start without their instructions. i started with a fic zine bc all my favorite fics are under like 25k and i'm not sure i want to invest in all the tools necessary for larger works when i'll be binding such short fics generally.
musing on process and future plants and mistakes i made under the cut - not due to the instructions but simply bc i am a moron 😌
this took about an hour and a half to make (not including typesetting), so it was pretty quick. (it might help that my first job in college was doing book conservation for an academic library, so i sort of have the skills in my toolbox, they're just hella rusty.) this is a 6.5k fic on 28 pages so it was a thin and manageable first work. i made several mistakes but it was good to try a first one and i'm pretty proud overall! i made a little zine of my fic!!!
mistakes...so first i printed it on the long edge despite eat0crow specifically calling out to pay attention to how you print it. i simply. have zero reading comprehension lol. so now i have a tidy 14 pages of paper that i will be cutting up into squares make paper cranes with! we love to reduce, reuse, and recycle in this house.
my next mistake was buying this beautiful decorative paper from two hands paperie for a cover, then receiving it and realizing that it was much too thin for a cover, and then buying OTHER colored paper that was also too thin and deciding i would split the difference and simply glue the decorative paper on the colored paper. i didn't glue it onto the paper before i bound it! it ended up okay. i'm honestly not entirely sure if it would have worked out for me to glue it on before binding it? it might not have had enough give when i bound it? so that's something to continue playing with future bindings. i bought more decorative paper specifically for other projects, but i'm going to keep playing around with it on my own fics until i figure out the best way to do it.
i also fully dropped into 20yo kasper being fussed at by his boss to NOT take shortcuts. DO everything slowly, she said. DON'T try to do too much at once! so i tried to cut down page creep page by page but i wasn't satisfied so i took my exacto knife and hacked it down all at once and then it looked worse lol. could hear my boss sighing from across the country. i don't know if i will keep trying that one honestly, i might be too lazy to do it when a book has more than on signature. this was only 28 pages so it was manageable but i typeset a work that was 72 pages last week and having done 28 pages and being unsatisfied, i really don't think i have the energy to do 72 pages and still be frustrated with the results.
which brings me to my next thing! this was a manageable 28 pages and i think that was a good length! but the next one i want to try binding is the second fic in the series brother let me be your shelter. i've been struggling in the salt mines for literal days trying to typeset it into sensible signatures and currently it's 48 pages long in signatures of 16 so i could bind them with french binding but i think 16 pages on 20lb paper might be too thin for french binding! so i'm going to have to keep messing with it. i had to make the font 10.5 pt to get it to fit to 48 pages. 10.5pt i think is fairly standard for a fic zine but i kind of think that if i am going to have to/want to bind multiple signatures anyway, i should just suck it up and make it bigger and play around with sizing. i really want to try french binding (here is a demo video from the preservation lab).
my final and probably biggest mistake is that i was using a rubber ruler i've had since freshman year of college, so it's completely warped and made cutting in a straight line a complete pain in the ass. might be why when i was cutting down page creep they looked like complete ass. so i gotta buy a metal ruler lmao.
the next fic after brother that i want to try (or maybe i should try it first if i am so determined to do french binding lol) is the baby sharks fic, which is only 10k, but the spacing is odd due to the format of the fic, which is why it is 72 pages (signatures of 24 pages). that will be a french binding project, but i'm still trying to decide how to do a cover if i do only french binding, since i foolishly bought paper before my first project and now have a shit ton of gorgeous but very thin paper - french binding doesn't have a cover so i gotta do some research. and after THAT i got permission from ash to bind two thousand miles away, but i can see you a fic that i love so much and which has similar framing (short scenes, social media posts, texts threads). it contains chapters which is a different challenge. also the anxiety starts to kick in when i'm working on other people's fic, so i want to have done the baby sharks fic first so i can see at least what that kind of spacing will look like and how to work with it. this is why i do not do podfic lol i have so much anxiety about honoring people's creative works appropriately and respectfully.
AND THEN. i feel like i shouldn't even say this so as not to spoil the surprise, but i'm already deep into the post and i don't know who is still reading. i know i would have refreshed tumblr to close the cut tag and gone to look at something else by now. anyway i want to try to bind all of lorna's witch verse, which i initially chose because eat0crow said their instructions worked best for fic that is 5k-20k and i thought well it's 27k so i'll just split it in half and treat every fic as a chapter. but now that i've seen how it goes with a 6.5k fic and also experienced HOW MUCH OF A PAIN IN THE ASS word is, i think i might try coptic binding to get it all done at once! (here is a video example.) i was rly reluctant to do any kind of hardcover binding as i didn't want to store davy board and all the tools necessary for davy board, but i'm in love with lorna and ella (who asked for a copy when she found out i am making one for lorna!) so now i'm like ok i better go for broke on this one lol.
anyway great to have a new hobby. my friends are always fussing at me to engage my brain other than writing fic or watching sports, and it's good to stretch muscles that have been dormant for a decade. excited to try new things, as you can see by the amount of paragraphs in this post. i always wanted my own bone folder in college and now i have one!!!!! sorry to my boss who spent so long and so much effort teaching me book conservation, i know you wanted me to be an academic conservation librarian and i feel bad every day that i threw your hard work down the drain and now work in a public library and decided to use the skills you taught me so carefully and gently thirteen years ago to bind gay fanfiction about hockey players.
#birdbindin'#fresno oilers.txt#the tl;dr of this post is simply: i love to try new things#i went to the most inconsistently booked multi-choir choral concert tonight instead of the cuda game and a lot of it was just not pleasant#so i needed to unwind by writing the world's longest post about a single fic zine lol
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☀️ Sun in Libra ⚖️
bangchan as your boyfriend!!! (pt. 2)
(based on astrology) 🔞
✨bangchan x reader (f); fluff, angst, slight smut if you count like 4 sentences.
✨ word count: 2.3k
✨take a look into chan’s natal chart to see what type of boyfriend he would be! in this post, i will be talking about his sun in libra. this is a series!!! so follow up later if u want more <3
✨i will give a brief synopsis of what each chart placement means (for all my non-astrology friends out there <3) and how that would affect channie in a relationship :)
✨ author’s notes:
(1) some very sweet stays confirmed that channie’s birth time is in fact 20:54, yay! this means i will get to look into more aspects of his chart and post more content for anyone who wants to keep up.
★★(2) i am considering doing brief (just bullet points/highlights) astrological compatibility readings if anyone wants one! if you’re interested, message me your birth date, time, and location OR lmk your placements. i’m gonna limit the reading to include you x 1 skz member only! just specify who you’d like.
(3) i am trying to get better at using gender-neutral pronouns so more people can feel included in my posts. i’m really struggling since i use phrases like “my girl” a lot. anyone who has some good alternatives or tips, please message and lmk!
(4) the aspects in this reading are based solely on my opinions and interpretations! nothing about a person is set in stone simply because of astrology. please don’t use anything i say as canon :)
✨warnings: light sexual undertones???
✨ tl/dr: chan is a people pleaser, and thus as a bf will be a YOU pleaser. happy thirsting.
Sun in Libra: Sun signs are all about personality- the face you show the world! It is also the lens through which you usually see yourself and how friends would describe you.
-Libra is a cardinal sign, meaning that people who are in this placement REALLY live by the aspects associated with that placement- in other words, chan is likely to hold very true to these values.
-Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and charm. People with a Libra Sun tend to be extremely charming and value beauty in the world. They often seek approval from others and are people pleasers. They want to be well-liked and well-known. Because of this, they will avoid conflict and have a hard time being criticized or being involved in drama of any kind. They will also often “mold” themselves to fit into any environment. This is partially because they highly value balance and peace in their lives, and can also lead to indecisiveness.
as your boyfriend:
• Chan will mold every aspect of his personality to fit with yours. Once he decides he is interested in you (because he can be one indecisive mf’er), he will literally BECOME the person you want and need (even tho you think he’s perfect as is). And he loves it too. He loves the feeling of being the only person in the world who is “perfectly made for you." Even more, he loves the fact that you know that he’s the perfect man for you. He will need constant reassurance of it too.
• He LOVES when you dress him. I’m talking (1) you are picking him out an entire wardrobe, (2) you are picking his outfits for every date you go on… so it matches with you ofc hehe, (3) if he doesn’t know what to wear, he is automatically calling you (i mean you know his closet anyways since you chose it all, so might as well choose from afar). He wouldn’t buy any clothing without sending it to you first to make sure you think it’d look good on him. He’d like for you to pick him out new styles, but he would ADORE when you stick to things he’s comfortable with like blacks and more comfortable attire. He would love how much you thirsted over him when he put on his “bad boy tumblr aesthetic” outfits. It would make him feel so much more confident going into everyday life knowing that he was dressing up for and catering to his girl only.
• He will absolutely still mildly flirt with stays (sorry y’all). But he will be mindful to not take things too far… in other words, no more calling stays Mrs. Bang lol. That one is reserved for you. He just has such a charming and flirtatious personality that he can’t help himself. BUT he always makes sure to conclude anything he says to stay with “haha I’m just joking… So thankful my beautiful girlfriend will share me with STAY.”
• He is taking you out on LOTs of dates and TONS of events. He is a super social guy, so he loves any chance he gets to take you out and make memories- especially in groups. If any of the boys have a significant other, he would love nothing more than to go on double dates with them. He would always plan for something low key, but fun with them. Anything extravagant is reserved for you only.
• Chan would introduce you to all the s/o’s of skz and would basically push you to be besties (without even realizing it). He’s so good at being social and over-committing himself that he would most likely always take up the opportunity to hang out with skz and their partners, including you by default. Cause you’re an extension of him, duh. He’d love when you’d bond and get super close with the members’ partners, and it would reassure him that you were the one for him when he saw how well and perfectly you blended into the friend group.
• He is buying you flowers every damn week. It doesn’t matter if you’re with him or on the other side of the world, he is making sure you have flowers. Or snacks. Or whatever you’re into. He is a people pleaser by nature, and who else would he want to please? He also can’t resist the smile on your face when he knows that he’s the cause.
• He likes it when you baby him. You are the ONLY person he lets take care of him. He has such a strong and happy personality with others, and many times he will not feel comfortable being vulnerable with too many people. You know how stressed he gets. He is always trying to keep up appearances after all. When he gets home from a long day of doing everything anyone could possibly ask of him, he feels the immediate comfort of knowing that you will take good care of him. He would love when he’d come home to a meal that you cooked. Or when you were watching a movie and you’d sit up with your legs in front of you, motioning for him to rest his head on your lap so you could play with his hair. He would absolutely melt if he was sitting at his desk working on something, and you’d come up behind him, towering over him with forehead kisses while you squeezed into his back. He would love the comfort he felt during foreplay (or even when he was bored) of just holding, squeezing, and sucking on your tits while you looked down at him with loving eyes. He’d go wild at the way you would straddle him and rub him through the fabric of his shorts while telling him how perfect and loved he is.
• Channie will hate any fights he has with you. He genuinely cannot deal with it. He hates feeling like he’s done something wrong, and it will take him a longggg time to talk to you about it if he feels something isn’t right or if he gets mad. Usually, you will have to initiate the conversation.
• “Channie? Can we talk?” You knocked on his door. You had gotten into an argument with him about an hour ago.
◦ A stupid argument really. He had heard you talking with a friend over the phone. “You and I both know Chris isn’t going to buy me that,” you laughed into your cell. “He’s saving up for that new car that he has to have,” you rolled your eyes and smiled. You thought it was a joke of course. It’d be ridiculous for him to buy you a $5,000 ring for no reason. YOU thought you were just being sarcastic. Maybe in retrospect, Chan didn’t feel the same.
◦ He looked at you with a face that tried to mask being upset. But you could tell. “What are you talking about?” He asked with a clenched jaw.
◦ “That ring,” you smiled and stuck your tongue out at him, obviously messing with him. He knew the ring. You’d showed him weeks ago.
◦ You saw his face go blank, like a bare canvas just waiting to see what reaction would be painted on next. He raised his eyebrows, pursed his lips, and nodded. You could see the annoyance on his face. He stood up of the couch and promptly headed to the bedroom. What was his problem?
◦ Now here you are… an hour later and radio silence.
• Chan gave no response. “Please, I want to talk about this…” you trailed off and waited for a few seconds. Still no response. “Come on Channie, I hate when we are fighting, please let’s just talk about this so we can feel better.” You heard rustling and then saw the door in front of you slowly open. There was a messy-headed Chris stood in front of you with puffy eyes and a locked-in jaw. You put your hand on his chest and nudged him ever so slightly so you could pass through the doorway and sit on the edge of his bed. He followed.
• “Okay, do you want to go first, or do you want me to go?” You asked, trying to get him to look into your eyes. He avoided them at all costs.
• “Do you really think I’m that bad of a boyfriend? You think I’m that self-absorbed to be funneling money into some fancy car, when I wouldn’t even buy you a ring you’ve been wanting for months? I would give you the world y/n, and you know that! Why would you even say something like that?” His lids and eyebrows turned downward as he spoke loudly. He was genuinely hurt.
• “No, I do not think you are a bad boyfriend! I think you are the best boyfriend in the world. Honey, I was KIDDING. I know how expensive that ring is. I was making light of how ridiculous it would be for you to just randomly buy it for me. I was joking that the reason you didn’t do it was because of the car, but it was just sarcasm. That’s literally it. How could you think I was serious?” You looked him dead in the eyes with a furrowed brow.
• “Because I AM serious y/n. I already bought you that ring. Because I love you. I was waiting until Valentine’s Day to give it to you. And you saying that just makes me feel like I’m the worst boyfriend. And now, that’s what your friends think too. I just- that just makes me really upset.” You felt your heart break. It wasn’t anger in his voice. It was disappointment. Disappointment in you. You knew how badly he struggled with self-image and with how others perceive him. It meant a lot to him. Even though he was trying to work through it, he wasn’t there yet. And you knew that.
• “Channie,” you breathed out. “I am so so sorry. I need you to know that it wasn’t my intention to make you feel that way. I think you are the perfect boyfriend.” You scooted closer to cup his face in your hands. “My friends know you are the perfect boyfriend. I talk about it all the time.” You lowered your face down to look him in the eyes. “I tell them about how much of a gentleman you are, always opening the door for me and holding my hand when we’re walking. About how beautiful you sound when I visit you at the recording studio and you’re making a sample. About how strong you are that I can feel it every time I grab onto your arms.” A tiny smile crept across his face and he looked down in embarrassment. You unconsciously mirrored his smile back. “I absolutely revel in the fact that you are the most perfect man I’ve ever known. Please don’t think that I think anything less of you. You are my perfect boy, and I’m sorry if I did anything to make you feel unloved or unappreciated. I will call her back right now just to emphasize to her that I was kidding if you think it would help you feel better.”
• Chan had a small tear in his eye when he finally looked back up at you. “No, no, you don’t need to do that… I’m sorry baby. I just- I took it the wrong way. You know I can do that from time to time,” he giggled up at you, getting embarrassed again. And he wasn’t wrong. “You are the most special person in the world to me. I never want to not live up to what you deserve… I know I have had problems with this, but I promise you that I’m working on them, and I will continue to work on them until I get better at it. You’ve already helped me so much.” Looking deeply at you, he sighed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “I will do better, I promise.”
• “It’s okay, it really is. We just have to work together through this. I also promise to do better at not making little jokes about you and being more respectful about our relationship. We will work on it together, okay? Deal?”
• “Deal.” He stuck out his pinky for you to intertwine with yours. In the same moment, you both bent down to kiss your hand. You’re sworn into the pinky promise now. You followed up with a swift kiss to his lips and a big hug around his neck. You stayed like that, locked in for a couple of seconds until you could feel his body relax underneath you.
• “Let’s not fight anymore. This feels way better,” you murmured into the side of his neck.
• “I can think of something else that would feel even better.” He locked his hands behind your waist and flipped you to onto your back. Maybe pinky promises could be broken, you thought. Hell, you’d break it if the fighting led to this.
• He gently kissed down your neck. “We will be okay,” he whispered softly into your ear. “I will be perfect for you, and you will be perfect for me.” Sun in Libra.
#bangchan scenarios#bangchan x female reader#bangchan x you#bangchan x reader#bangchan fluff#bang chan#chris bang#bangchan angst#bangchan imagines#bangchan stray kids#bangchan smut#bangchan#skz x reader#skz smut#skz imagines#skz fluff#skz angst#christopher bang#chris bang smut
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Please help me tell people about my book!
Hi!
I'm publishing a book! It's HERE, just in time for Christmas!! It's GAY!! It's romantic!!! It's HOT! It has firefighters and background sapphic romance, and is exciting AF!!!
I'm very excited, too!
Both U.S. domestic and international friends can order shipped Paperbacks from me directly via my Ko-Fi shop (retailers take less of a cut):
https://ko-fi.com/castielslostwings/shop
Or you can order on amazon directly, this is the only way to get the KINDLE ebook option: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1945687126
Standard EPUB format is available to download directly from me for $1 cheaper than Amazon:
https://ko-fi.com/s/2a82c64d56
And WILL be available at other retailers soon!
Here's the thing: I had a pretty solid platform on Twitter, but since Elon took over, a lot of my followers left, the algorithm crashed, and the whole thing might go under. I don't have the same reach on other platforms, so I need some help! Please share this post if you like GAY SHIT and BOOKS and helping indie content creators be successful!!! Please follow me or check out my ko-fi for updates! Thanks!!!
Here's my pitch, hope you like it:
"Fire & Ice": The flaming hot queer romance novel where a foray into BDSM helps two best friends find themselves, each other, and what it really means to burn.
Summary:
"Firefighter Tripp Truett has somehow tumbled into a whole new kind of relationship with his quirky paramedic best friend, Lee, but mutual relief from their high-stress jobs quickly develops into something more. With all the missed signals and crossed wires, can these two ever figure out that they're so much closer to being on the same page than they think?"
****************************************
About the author (info dump ahoy!!!!) :
I'm Robin, sometimes known as Wings! I'm a 36-year-old, queer, autistic, disabled mom of 2 humans and 5 senior rescue dogs, former R.N. & paramedic. I'm a hardcore fangirl and a proud fanfic writer (and reader), and while I know some people will judge me for that, I am not ashamed!
I started writing as a hobby after becoming physically disabled and unable to work as an RN. Fanfic gave me an audience and an outlet, gifted me purpose and hope again. Transformative fiction is FUN! It fosters creativity and passion, heals wounds, and makes people happy. If someone wants to discredit me for that, then perhaps they aren't the audience I'm seeking.
Ultimately, I know I'm taking a risk, but since people seem to enjoy my fics, this book is my attempt to try and make ends meet through original fiction!
I know some people WILL discredit me. But I'm always about being myself and speaking on what I feel matters: Fanfic should be legitimized as a creative medium. I assure you, friends—the thousands of hours I've spent on my fanworks are as REAL as it gets.
The intersection of disparaging fanfic + sexism/misogyny can't be overstated—women (esp queer women)'s unpaid work is often treated as a "hobby," not worthy of uplifting. I'm here to uplift! The risk is worth it—I would have nothing without fanfic & I'm proud. Younger creators shouldn't feel shame about writing/reading fanfic. We should ALL approach it as a legitimate medium. In fact, MOST new media these days is transformative "fanwork" of SOME kind, whether it's inspired by, based on, or outright rebooting existing worlds.
Plus, we queer folk simply deserve to see our stories in the mainstream media and to see the characters we fall in love, identify with, and root for to get their happily ever afters.
TL;DR: I'm keeping my name and history. Hopefully, I'll be successful in original fiction, but if not, I'll still be a fangirl.
Please consider supporting me + other creators attempting to dip into original works. Follow or subscribe to my ko-fi for previews, updates, access to my discord community where I share exclusive content, and more:
https://ko-fi.com/castielslostwings
FIRE & ICE IS NOW AVAILABLE THROUGH MULTIPLE PLATFORMS!
Ko-Fi subscribers will have the option to buy signed copies & merch bundles! The link to purchase will also be posted there first.
A MAJOR thank you to my friends, editors, and to everyone who in my server for supporting and encouraging me to put myself out there and try something new. Love you guys so much. <3 Thank you to @chaoticdean for the beautiful cover. Many more thank yous to come.
P.S. If you are reading this and know anyone with a platform who might be interested in receiving a free copy in exchange for promo (only if they enjoy, ofc), please holler at me, I can use all the help I can get!
<3 Wings
#castielslostwings#my writing updates#original story#original work#bookblr#gay romance#queer stuff#queer books#queer romance#mlm love#wlw love#smut#contemporary romance#romance novels#debut novel#fiction#author#writing#publishing#queer fiction#lgbt books#lgbtq books#lgbtq fiction#indie authors#lgbtq romance#authors of tumblr#romance books#book tumblr
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Introduction post
I wanted to give a bit of an introduction to why I'm here, what I'm doing and so on.
tl;dr: I like clothes and I'm into sustainability, so I started (visible) mending a few month or so ago. I also crochet, although not as much as I'd like to, and I dabble a bit in embroidery. My goal is to kind of document my journey with these crafts and maybe inspire people to give some of these a try.
I'd also love to talk about all things (visible) mending, crochet, embroidery and fiber arts in general and share the knowledge I have / point people who want to start to some resources that helped me.
I've been into fashion/clothes and styling them on and off for a big part of my life. A few years ago, I also got into sustainability, learning about how buying new fast fashion damages our planet and exploits other human beings, and what may be good alternatives.
This path, inevatibly, lead down to getting curious about mending. I learned basic sewing skills when I was a child, but I never altered any clothes and apart from a few tiny things never mended anything.
However, this year, I wanted to change that. I've heard about visible mending before and I really liked it. I had a pair of jeans when I was a teenager that was patched (by someone else) that was my favourite pair. Unfortunately, I managed to ruin it beyond repair and also grew out of it, but this stuck with me. I always liked to express myself creatively, and in recent years, what I wear has become a big part of that. The idea that by visibly mending my clothes I express my passion for sustainability feels really good (and punk!) to me. The idea of altering clothes that I don't currently love but could love if something about them was changed is also a nice one.
I only darned my first sock a few months ago. My goal with this blog is to share this first darn as well as the progress I make, because I want to encourage other people. You don't have to make perfect mends to be sustainable. On the contrary, mend imperfectly, mend messy, but DO MEND. Even if you'll have to redo it at one point, when you have more skill, even if you don't end up redoing it and instead use that piece of clothing for something else, you still gave it another wear, or two, or three (or fifty) - and that's what this is all about.
I tend to be an extreme perfectionist and it's hard for me to deal with a situation where I'm not perfect at a first try. Surprise surprise, I am not when it comes to mending, or embroidery, or crochet, or anything at all really. But I'm trying to let that go and concentrate on what I achieve rather than what I did "wrong" or imperfectly.
I want to share my messy bits and the things I'm proud of, and I want to update how the mends I did held up. As i mentioned above, I hope that maybe I'll inspire some people to pick up a needle as well. Even if you "only" fix that button or a ripped up seam. Every mend counts!
When I get into altering or even making clothes, I will share those projects too, but that will have to wait a bit since I don't currently have any space to put up my sewing machine and I do simply not have the energy nor patience to hand sew bigger things.
Apart from mending I also crochet. Talking more about that feels like a bit of an overkill here, I'll make a new post for that.
Recently I also started to embroider, with the idea of using embroidery in my (visible) mending and to embellish clothes. Here again I decided on a project where I just start and don't try to be perfect from the beginning on, I'll share more about that as well as my crochet project(s) soon.
I think this should be enough for the moment with the introduction. One thing about me, as you probably got by now, is that I'm really bad at being brief with my writing. I have no idea how often I will manage to make posts on here due to work and life, but I will try to do them quiet regularly, as well as sharing things I see that might be helpful / interesting / that inspire me. I also think I'll probably only write more for bigger projects but also just share stuff I'm working on / finished recently.
Maybe I'll also share other DIYs that are not really crafts/fiber arts related but I think are cool.
This isn't my main blog (thats @merryfromthestars), so if I follow I follow from there.
I'm also always open to questions, discussions etc. so just send me an ask or dm if you want! Just, I might take a moment to answer them, because life and work :) I'm excited to see where this journey takes me, and I hope some people will come along and maybe get inspired.
#sewing#diy#crochet#fiber art#fiber arts#long post#embroidery#sustainability#sustainable fashion#crochetblr#mending#visible mending#personal#solarpunk
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welcome to my very own analysis of edgeworths character and insane rambling on why i write him Like That. first of all i want to rec one of my favorite essay on political theory/legal philosophy of possibly all time aka the discourse on voluntary servitude by la boétie (which you can read here, its also a fantastic text to read in these coronation/anti-monarchy times)
anyway, if you don't want to read it (although it is quite a short and clear read), the main thesis of this essay is that basically a corrupt political system/dictatorship (here called a tyranny) doesn't stay in place because people are afraid of change and rebellion, but because people don't want anything to change, and they're satisfied with their condition, therefore complicit with the system (see also MLK's quote on white moderates "but the white moderate who is more devoted to 'order' than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says 'I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can't agree with your methods of direct action'")
the tl;dr here is that a system stays in place because no one does anything to change it, and people prefer turning a blind eye to the situation but its not because they're afraid of a new system, it's because they're scared of what it will take to get this new system.
with that being said i think that edgeworths anger and resentment at the legal system post turnabout goodbyes wouldn't be directed at the system right away because he upheld the system. he loved it! (which btw is so so much worse than killing his father. he didn't kill his father but he's complicit in enforcing a terrible legal system!!!!!!!! awful)
and miles loved this system!! i think that even at the worst point of his bratworth era he still believed he was Bringing Fair And Real Justice and was doing The Right Thing. but what happens when you realize this system is deeply, incredibly flawed? when you've spent your whole life fighting for it? deliberately ignoring the ugly parts of it in favor of maintaining a perfect win record?
that's when you choose death!!!! (literally or figuratively depending on how you analyze it.)
i looooove edgeworth celebrating his not guilty verdict but he would start thinking about what he's done. which again is so much worse than simply killing his dad. like he literally says that in rfta
and thats so??? fucking sad!?!!! because how is he supposed to trust in himself now??? phoenix (no matter how good his intentions were) HAS entirely destroyed his whole worldview!!!!!!!! and thus the unnecessary feelings line but you can read more about my thoughts about that line here (tl;dr this line for me a) challenges his views (see supra) b) didn't phoenix "steal" his dream of becoming a defense attorney, in a way? phoenix had the chance to move on and change things for the better but miles... didn't.
ANYWAY edgeworth gets angry at individuals, after turnabout goodbyes, because he hasn't realized how deep the corruption runs yet - he's angry at phoenix, at misty, at everyone who either failed to protect him (misty, mvk, the mvk household, maybe even his own dad for """leaving him behind"""???) OR tried to protect him from this system (phoenix, maya - because how dare they challenge his views on this system he has oh so loved?) also you can read this post here because it really summarizes my feelings about his aa1 arc
every day there is a new media where two people are fighting together for a system. they both come to realise the system is flawed, and while one of them tries to take the system down, the other decides it is still necessary and must be protected at all costs. why is it always the first one who becomes the villain? who is deeply sympathetic but goes too far in their quest for justice? i think for once it should be the second one who is trying so hard to protect the system they believe in that they slowly slip into tyranny
i dont really have a conclusion here but i will say that i think The Note and edgeworths year off were necessary (as tragic as it was) for both edgeworth & phoenix because theyre insane they need some time to think about how much they don't know nor understand each other anymore at this point in time. anyway. thanks for reading?!! i hope this made sense. mwah!
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#ace attorney meta#i wrote a good chunk of this the evening after i had a final sdjkdsf so hopefully this will make a bit of sense also its so LONG IM SORRY#🦔 : chatters#tw suicide mention
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Beelzebub and Gabriel aren’t a good couple
Before I say this, I mean absolutely no disrespect or hatred to Neil Gaiman, this is just the only thing I genuinely hated about season 2 and it’s been on my mind lately.
First off, Gabriel and Beelzebub were too changed for the sake of putting them in a relationship. I’m not saying this and talking about the actor change, I understand why the actor for Beelzebub was changed and I am not blaming the new actor for this at all. But we see Beelzebub get this sudden light switch change in their personality that came from nowhere, and nobody can say “oh they changed because of influence from Gabriel” because we’ve also seen that Gabriel is just a huge asshole. Beelzebub wouldn’t suddenly start being nice and forgiving because of Gabriel’s angelic influence, and all it took for Gabriel was a mind swipe and he’s suddenly nice now too? I’ve seen people talk about tropes where evil characters get a mind swipe and then being nice as a sign that they’ve gone through abuse that made them mean but Gabriel was supreme archangel, he was pampered and entitled. These two knew each other for a year and then without question they put away thousands and thousands of years of hatred and resentment just for the sake of suddenly being in love, ignoring the fact that they tried to kill Aziraphale and Crowley just a few years before for simply talking to each other. Then when all is said and done they just go off together with literally no consequences (I have my own theories on why they are allowed to be together but not Azi and Crow but that can be another post) which leads me to this last topic: their fates for season three. Assuming that any of their relationship is completely realistic for them and doesn’t involve glossing over a few plot points, I think it would be most in character for them to never come back. Because inherently, they’re both still the selfish assholes we saw from the first season, they’re love was not built on a love of humanity (and no Beelzebubs enjoyment of “every day” does not count) and due to their selfishness, they wouldn’t want to fight alongside Aziraphale and Crowley to protect humanity. In fact, I’d love to see proof that there’s still a scrap of those two from the first season and that these aren’t just two completely new characters by having Aziraphale try to encourage them to fight for humanity with him and both of them saying no simply because they’re only out for themselves. Because face it, Gabriel and Beelzebub are still both bad characters and don’t actually give a shit about humanity.
TL;DR: Gabriel and Beelzebub were better off being a crack ship.
#Anti ineffable bureaucracy#good omens beelzebub#good omens gabriel#good omens crack#good omens crack ship#good omens#Should have stayed a crack ship#If this sounds like drunken rambling it’s because I write about things that I hate when I’m angry and I’m pissed off right now#no disrespect intended#Please don’t send me death threats over this
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okay so
i am fairly new to your blog and understand the anti ts stuff and i just wanted to say that even with all the racism (i only know the recent stuff and im appalled, who knows what has been going on for years) poc from asian countries still love her. im indian and i have SO. MANY. FRIENDS. who absolutely eat up everything she does and follow her blindly even though theyre willing to call out other forms of racism and bigotry by other people and get so hurt if you try and call ts out. they organise ts events and are a really huge and vocal fandom in india as well. their hypocrisy and obsession is so weird and annoying.
I wish I could tell you how many times I read this over Anon. This is INSANE TO ME!! I completely understand why you're annoyed with their hypocrisy, because this is boggling my mind. Like I cannot stop reading this over I am so confused by their actions 😭
I've heard that they're a lot of Asian Swifties but I've never met them IRL or really seen them online either (IS is the only person I can think of), so thank you for letting me know that they do in fact exist and unfortunately in large numbers as well.
I'm also struggling with how PoC Swifties rationalize liking her music despite TS's own explicit racism. Especially since so many PoC Swifties in my life (they are not my friends. I simply know them) are like your friends who aren't afraid to call out racism, sexism, homo/transphobia, etc. yet will openly stream and yearn to TS.
(Although, I will say, ALL of them fetishize white people. Like they only go after and want to date white people. It's the weirdest and most unsettling phenomenon I've witnessed specifically among PoC Swifties.)
I think it's a demonstration of how flawed their own ideological commitments are if they can push aside and ignore racist actions of their favorite artist because their music is just "so good." It shows who and what they're willing to sacrifice to continue justifying their love for this racist musician, and them getting defensive just shows that they know liking her is inconjunct with their proclaimed beliefs.
When I see people act like this on social media, I often question their ulterior motives when they call out racism and bigotry. To what extent does their solidarity apply to, and to who? Why do they present themselves as left leaning politically when their actions say otherwise?
It undermines their actions and commitment and shows their internalized racism that they can continue supporting a racist artist like this. I have dealt with PoC like this, who present themselves as an ally, who say all the right words and right things and yet their actions consistently undermine their actions which led me to distancing myself from them and in my experience, unfortunately reinforcing my skepticism with other PoC :(
It's why people say PoC solidarity is a myth, because your friends are an example of how they would rather continue stanning a racist white artist knowing she's dated someone who's consumed and masturbated to pornographic content that explicitly showed torturing Black women. (here's a link to a reddit post that explains it (sfw)).
It's easier for them to ignore what she did than it is to hold themselves accountable knowing that she dated someone like this and what it means for them and what it says about their beliefs. You're right; not only are they hypocrites, but they display blatant cognitive dissonance by stanning TS.
tl;dr you're not crazy, they really aren't down for their beliefs like they say/act like they are if they continue defending/stanning a blatant racist white woman like her. they should work on their internalized racism and not bother calling themselves allies to other PoC (esp. black women) as long as they stan her.
I hope this is a satisfactory response to your ask, anon (also I really hope this makes sense) 😭 Thanks for sending this in!
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I'm wondering how they're going to get rid of Natalia on the first episode, Marisol makes sense show up again but Natalia simply disappearing will be very weird as there won't be a huge time gap, a maximum of two weeks if the cruisy is the same as Bathena cruise. We have to wait and see but I don't think Natalia will disappear for now, maybe in the 3rd episode and Marisol in the 5th or 6th episode
Btw happy new year my darling
Apologies for being a bit late with this, love. I hope the first week of the new year is treating you well. <3
IF (yes, everyone, I realize I could have read this wrong) my instinct regarding Natalia not returning - not even to be broken up with on screen - is correct, I think Tim is going to take the easy route and repeat what the show did with Ali since she was the prior LI whose future was unclear between seasons and then never went back. The timeline you’re referencing supports my theory, too, so thanks for that. 😜
Say it’s only supposed to have been a few weeks or MAYBE a month since we last saw the characters. (Is this cruise in real time or is Bathena recovering from what happened, reliving the events? No clue.)
Odds are Buck won’t have announced the breakup to the 118 just yet. There he was a few weeks back singing Natalia’s praises and they’re already over? Not his finest moment, right? So maybe there’s a casual conversation happening - just like how it did at Buck’s welcome back party in 3x01 - where someone asks how Natalia’s doing or if they’ve got plans and he has to admit she’s not in the picture. Things get awkward for a sec, Buck says it’s for the best. Everyone moves on.
As for what reasoning Tim may have come up with, I have two specific thoughts on this part:
— Buck first felt drawn to Natalia when he was hyperfocused on his experience with dying, yes? He felt like she “saw him” because of what he was feeling in those days/weeks after the coma?
Well, if season seven is bringing us a Buck that is TRULY trying to move on from everything, TRULY trying to focus on the fact that he’s still alive rather than the fact that he could die at any time…he and Natalia won’t have as much in common anymore, will they? Is Buck going to want to be with someone whose life revolves around death and dying when he’s worked hard to get himself out of that headspace?
Obviously if Natalia were to stick around the show would make changes to the character just like it did for TayKay, but if she’s not meant to reappear? Buck’s new outlook on life is the perfect excuse to keep Natalia as is and say they’re going in two different directions now.
— There’s a post on my blog (from not too long ago) where I talk about the IG live in the final days of filming season six in which we could hear the cast getting ready for a scene describing a “boring” date Buck was to have had with Natalia. (Natalia was confirmed by Kenny)
Why is that important? Because it means there was an alternate ending on the table, one that would have led to Buck NOT getting serious with her.
Just like Tim doing the cruise ship disaster that Kristen wouldn’t touch, I wouldn’t be surprised if he uses whatever the original script said to get the point across. It’s much faster than coming up with his own brand new dialogue for a character we’re not supposed to care about anymore. A character that he didn’t have a direct hand in creating, either.
(As usual, this is TL;DR, but the one thing I’m always gonna do is cover all my bases!)
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Looking for people to interact with
I've been much more outgoing lately, I'm not sure why! Despite this, I am still very bad at picking and choosing people to reach out to and message, so, to save time for everyone involved, I've made this post.
This post is asking for people to message me that also describes what exactly I want from our interactions! You will have to message me, though if you're feeling too shy to reach out in our DMs, sending a non-anonymous ask or directly replying to this post letting me know that you'd like a DM is a good way to get my attention and potentially receive a DM from me. See also: making my notifications blow up with a sequence of chained likes and/or reblogs on my posts.
Reblogging and especially liking this post specifically will not do much for putting you on my radar, because it's very easy to just like or reblog a post and doesn't take much effort, as opposed to messaging me or doing any of the things described above. If you're interested in connecting with me, please read this whole post (or at least look at the TL;DR) before reaching out to me!
Thank you in advance.
I am ace and I love meeting new people
To begin, I do NOT want a relationship in which there is only hypnosis and only kinky things. I am asexual, and while I am romantically attracted to basically every gender, I do not want to be horny 24/7. If you're looking for a committed (or gods forbid temporary) dominant/submissive or hypnotist/subject relationship, specifically only a dedicated sexual/kinky relationship, this post does not include you.
I am very affectionate
I love people! I love people so much and am always looking to make more partners and friends. There is a good chance that I will flirt at least a little, and will generally try to be very positive and overtly friendly in our interactions.
We'll still do hypnosis stuff
This does not mean I will not want hypnosis to be a part of our relationship- hypnosis is a very big part of my life, and is the root of how I've made most of my friends and especially my partners. I will eventually want hypnosis to happen between us (whoever the hypnotist shall be) and at the very least will want to be able to discuss the topic freely without judgement.
Video games good
I won't sugarcoat this next point- I am a gamer, I play on PC, use Steam, and heavily enjoy a wide variety of games. Specifics can be gleaned by questioning me, but I tend to lean toward roguelikes and co-op multiplayer games, be they designed specifically for co-op or simply offer the ability to play cooperatively with your friends. PvP games can be fun, but I definitely lean towards PvE titles.
Inherent bias
I adore women. Trans women particularly have a special place in my heart. This does not mean I will dislike anyone who isn't a woman or trans, but if you are feminine and/or transgender you will automatically gain some of my trust without having to do anything.
To clarify: video games
Over the course of our interactions, I will want to play video games with you, and I will want to hypnotize you or be hypnotized by you. That much is clear. If you don't play video games, that's okay, but as we are unlikely to live near one another, our options for doing things may possibly be limited. I will say, however, I may want to read something with/to you or watch anime/tv shows/movies with you. Simply sharing space and receiving attention can be enough, but I'm not very good at filling empty conversations with words as my social skills are somewhat limited.
Friend Zone
If you're already partnered up or don't wish to get involved romantically, I'm perfectly fine being your friend! I will still want hypnosis to be involved, but hanging out with friends is something I simply don't do enough and would be open to doing much more.
I only have one body
I am not always available 24/7 and am sometimes too busy to reply to messages. This does not mean I don't want to talk to you- I will tell you if our relationship isn't working, and barring extreme circumstances, will attempt to make it work. I have a few friends and partners already and if this post garners enough attention, will likely have even more, which means that I will not be available all the time. If you expect me to be 100% available every moment for you, this is probably not the relationship for you.
Allow me to summarize and recount the major points. (TL;DR)
We will not have being horny or sexual as the focus of our relationship.
I may be an introvert but I am liable to flirt with you and try to pry attention and affection out of you whenever possible.
We will discuss / engage in hypnosis (I know it's antithetical to the first bullet but it's necessary)
We will probably play video games. (on pc) If not, we will want to find an alternative.
I love women/feminine types, though if you're not a woman, that's perfectly acceptable, and I will appreciate your attention all the same.
It's okay if we're just friends! There's no pressure to become one of my partners, even if it is always an option.
We will not be spending every second of every day together, as I have existing friends and multiple partners to divide my attention. I will still try to answer your messages when I'm busy, but there are no guarantees.
Thank you!
Regardless if you read the whole thing or not, I hope you are well informed enough to make the decision of whether or not you want to reach out to me about this. It's worth noting that even if we're already acquainted in some way, this post is still an invitation for you to reach out!
Cheers! <3
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hey pia! i love your work, hi!!! im a young writer interested in posting some of my big projects online (not that i really expect them to get any traction lol). i was wondering how you protect your work from plagiarism, or how you deal with people plagiarizing your work. it seems like the internet is kind of the wild west, and that’s only sometimes a good thing :/ im probably a bit too poor to afford any sort of copyright or whatever online authors do, but maybe i can save up? 🙏🙏
PS - i didn’t actually care whether or not this ask was anonymous, but from my experience on tumblr it seems like an unspoken rule🤨 so i guess i’ll turn it on🫡
Hi anon!
Tbh the only real difference between anon and attaching your name is that I have the choice to reply to you privately if you send an ask under your name (which is sometimes preferrable if the question is personal or really niche!) and that gives me more options. Anon forces me to only answer publicly (which is probably why you're seeing that so much!!), but the downside is that sometimes I have to delete anon messages when I don't want the responses or even the ask/s on my public blog.
Anyway! This is something I'd respond to publicly anyway, because I think this is a fear a lot of new and young writers have. The tl;dr is that copyright is often assumed on the internet, provenance makes it easy to send DMCA takedowns, and letting a fear of piracy stop you from putting your work up is one of the biggest ways I see new authors handicap themselves on the web currently (idk if it's confirmation bias or what but it seems like I see this several times each month atm from specifically new authors), and it's like...not a thing...to be hampering yourself with.
Okay, now for the longer explanation:
The first thing with copyright is that it by and large depends on your country and what you want to do with the story. In Australia, every created work by default has legal copyright protection simply by being created by someone. We don't need to pay to apply for copyright on creative works, we automatically have it and if we can prove provenance (i.e. if we can demonstrate we created it first, with like a document date etc.) we are legally protected.
So I can't answer for the country you're in, anon, but honestly, this is how it works on most of the internet where you're likely to put a project online. AO3 will respect that a work is yours if it gets stolen, if you can prove you came up with it or published it before another person did (literally all you need is a screenshot or a link). In the Properties or Details of most of your documents, the 'date created' is your best friend.
I've had my work stolen quite a few times over the years. It's been stolen the most from AO3 over to Wattpad (it's almost like Wattpad authors don't realise that sometimes we look lol).
In one case, blanket commenting on one of the fics that the original fic was on AO3 *and complete and not stolen* was enough for the author themselves to take it down. x.x Otherwise what you generally do is send a DMCA takedown notice, which almost all creative sites give you access to when reporting theft (your readers cannot do this for you, you must do it.)
Similarly, on AO3, if this happens, you can just report it. The big downside here is that it can take the volunteers there some time - sometimes up to two weeks or more - to get on top of that, so it might feel like nothing at all is happening. Patience is recommended.
Look, theft happens, you can't avoid it. It is a normal part of putting your work out there in the world. And I can't tell you how many new authors I know who kind of shoot themselves in the foot trying to prevent the acts of thieves, while not realising they're hampering themselves in the process.
Pirating is the worst, but so is never putting your work out there, or waiting for a magical protection from piracy. It doesn't exist - and there's a general rule where the more steps you introduce to stop or reduce piracy, the more you actually alienate your general readers - think about how having right-click disabled on a website can feel, for example. It's considered hostile internet architecture that is often very inaccessible.
(There's also a phenomenon where the authors most scared of theft are the ones least likely to encounter it, because their works are new, and they'll need a lot of time to build up readers and engagement in the first place. Most of the time, those who plagiarise don't want to take the works of new/young authors over the works of experienced authors who just won't think to check the sites they're using. By the time you're popular enough for that to be an issue, you'll probably have more confidence in yourself and your ability to handle this. I will say theft of ebooks on sites like Amazon etc. is way more common than theft of original stories and fanfics on AO3, but both happen more often than they used to, that's just...sadly a part of life.)
Also, applying for copyright doesn't mean your work won't get stolen. You'll still have to send DMCA takedowns, and you'll still have to get in contact with websites. A lot of the time websites have a form you can fill out. You still have to do all that labour and pay to register copyright. The filing of copyright is sadly not a magical shield against theft of a creative work. It does make it easier to take someone to court, but that's expensive, often not worth it, and the labour someone can spend chasing down thieves is often better spent amongst the readers who actually give a shit (they're the ones who often notice the theft in the first place when it comes to serials).
If you plan on publishing ebooks, there's software and organisations you can pay a monthly fee to, who just exist to issue takedown notices to piracy sites so you don't have to. I've never used these personally, but from what I've read on Facebook writing groups, they're often not worth it compared to the past, because new sites spring up all the time. But different authors have different experiences with online theft (and different levels of income to combat it) so you'll hear different things on that front.
I'm...pretty zen about it. To me, it's only a worry when I have to send someone a notice about it, which I don't actually have to do all that often. Like, it sucks, but almost always it never happens as much as a new author like yourself fears it will. That doesn't mean you won't hate it when it happens, but you'll live, and your works will keep finding readers, and it won't be what you're likely imagining it will be. It's for most authors, just an occasional giant pain in the ass that we forget about a day or two later sdakfjdsa
#asks and answers#pia on writing#pia on publishing#it depends on what path you're taking#ebooks are more prone to it than serials or subscription-locked works#but as a result there's also more protections available for ebook authors#there's less protections for someone like me#except i can prove provenance#and i can be like 'hey i put this up 10 years ago and this person published it today so can you do something about it please'#and sites do because legally they have to#though some drag their feet sdlfkjas#but anyway yeah i'm very 'eh whatever it happens'#some authors will take it very seriously#but i am...more interested in my writing and my relationship to my actual readers#then the actions of people who aren't giving me a hard time#until they *actually* give me a hard time#and then i have things i can do y'know#maybe i'm too flippant but being too anxious about theft#seems like a one-way ticket to not putting yourself out there
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What was it like for Doe Whispers growing up with Raine as a parent?
this is an excellent question! ive been wanting to write all of this down so this is an excellent opportunity :D
(please excuse how long it took for me to answer this, i spent a long time writing and double checking things to ensure they align with canon haha)
all of the following is headcanon about raine too. because theyre so cool and swag and i love them. warning: this is kinda long, but i wanna be thorough! but TL;DR, they try their best and are very loving, but being a busy single parent doesnt leave much room for quality time
Pre-Parenthood
Raine wanted to be a parent; not only to start a family with Eda, but also just to experience raising a kid of their own and being a parent.
After breaking up with Eda, they joined the Bard coven and started their teaching career. Rather than staying in Bonesborough and starting a career at Hexside (which is apparently located on the right arm), they moved closer to the castle. I imagine this is somewhere around Latissa, if not exactly in Latissa. Once their career was stable, they had Boe.
Boe wasn't conceived through traditional means. Her conception was magical, and while there was outside input for her genetic makeup, Raine is the only involved parent.
(Side note: Doe and Boe are both very similar, and it's debatable which one is her real name. "Boe" is fun because "Raine" + "Boe" = "RaineBoe", but this is still an insert character. For the sake of consistency through the post, I'll be calling her "Boe", but either works.)
Early Life
Boe was raised with as much love as a parent could provide for their child. Up until she was about 4, Raine gave her all of their attention. Based on this post quoting Avi Roque, Raine's voice actor, there are two specific headcanons I have about them as a parent:
1) They would go by "Papa" (I wanted to match the term "Mama Eda", and feel like they would be more comfortable with masculine terms.)
2) There would be a lot of holding, handling, hugging, etc (Raine's love language is touch, so there's a lot of physical affection)
Around when she was 4-5, Raine was offered a teaching position directly under the Emperor himself. And at this point is where things get VERY busy and difficult.
As a teacher, Raine wanted to be the primary one with a hand in Boe's upbringing and education. That, along with Bards having a less-than-stellar reputation, And Boe being one of those kids to easily get sick, led to her being homeschooled in bard magic. Unfortunately, a single teacher's salary can definitely not afford daycare (Belos is cruel and unjust) so Boe spent a lot of time in the faculty lounge, doing her homework, drawing, reading, etc. However, the flow of new people and students allowed her at least a little bit of interaction with others.
While Raine climbed the ladder, and learned more about Belos's corruption, Boe was left mostly to her own devices. Unfortunately, their busy life led to their relationship stunting. Yes, they still love each other as family, and they know each other very well, but from around 10-14, Boe started keeping a lot of things to herself.
Throughout all of this, Raine's been busy starting a rebellion. And does Boe know? No. A lot of things rebellion related, she simply assumes is part of Raine's "Work".
Joining Canon
Once Raine is elevated to a high enough status where they are set as Scooter Crane's replacement as Head Witch of the Bard coven (a couple of months before the show begins; Boe is just under, or has recently turned 16), they move into the castle permanently. The Emperor, in all his grace, provides Boe boarding as well, provided she follows in Raine's footsteps or studies to become a part of the Emperor's Coven. With all of her schooling, it's fine, but she doesn't really know if she wants to be a Bard. Sure, it's what she's most proficient in and trained to do, but there's a million different options out there to explore. Raine is very good at their job, and vocal about the need for Bards to be respected, so imagine how awfully disappointing it would be for their own, only child to pursue something else. So she just says nothing.
During Canon
Working at the castle is so incredibly busy. Obviously. Raine tries to see their kid at least daily, but it's still a difficult thing. Most often, it's a wordless hug or a passing pat on the head as they rush off to another meeting (coven related or otherwise). Around this time, Boe finds out there are TWO (count 'em: two) other kids in the castle. And she wants to be friends with them SO bad. But that's a story for another time; let's just say it eventually happens.
Yes, Boe realizes something's happened after Eda's Requiem. It's subtle, and weird, but a lot of Raine's mannerisms on the surface had changed. But when they interact, nothing's different, so she brushes it off again.
Hollow Mind Heart
There's a reattempt of the mind spell. But through some shenanigans, rather than Hunter and Luz going into the Emperor's mind, Sol and Boe end up in Raine's. And they see everything. And it goes about as well as you expect. Sol, understandably, runs away from the coven much like Hunter did, but in less of a "my life will end if I stay" manner; more of a "I cannot work for this man anymore" way. Boe, however, stays. She's quiet about it all, and the rift between her and Raine widens even more. She does stay at the castle, if only for a sense of stability. But best you believe she's doomsday prepping in there. Packing all of her important things in a single bag, hoarding whatever snacks she can snag, and not talking to anyone.
aaaand that's about where we are right now! i'm currently writing stuff for post hollow mind + human realm era. but in the epilogue, i imagine they become close again! but being isolated from them right after finally being ready to talk again is difficult.
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I'm alive...kinda?
So it's been a while huh? Since the end of March actually, since I last posted anything. Which sucks because it was literally right after I was super excited to do a collab with a friend, as well as my plans for getting content out! So what happened you may ask (and I'm referring to the lovely people who are in my inbox asking and being concerned, I'm so sorry for worrying ya). Well, let me tell you!
Health.
Sucks.
So here's a quick TW because I'm going to go into detail about everything that's happened since the last time I was here under the cut. This includes both issues with eating (involuntary), as well as surgical stuff. There will also be a TL;DR at the end of this post.
So as I've mentioned previously (I think) I have chronic nausea. I'm almost always feeling sick after I eat therefore I don't really...eat much. Especially not when I'm working because I can't afford to be sick and have to go home (my job requires me to be on my feet, interacting with clients all day and I woke 9-hour shifts). So because I'm unable to get enough nutrients (normally I won't even eat until I get home from work, and if I do it's protein drinks and pudding during my work day), I'm pretty...weak most of the time.
Let me tell you, eating is so important to function like a human. If you don't you are tired, your muscles hurt, and there are so many other horrible things that go into it that I won't go into detail about.
My biggest problem with not being able to eat enough is fatigue. I am always tired and in a brain fog that writing is impossible. If I can even get the energy to open up my laptop and bring it to my bed, it's typically dashed the moment I open a Word document and can barely type.
I had maybe a solid good week or two a month back right after I went on vacation to see a friend (probably because I was able to eat regularly-ish due to not having to worry about being sick at work) however, like always, it was quickly squashed with reality and I went back to brain fog central, but I feel like it was worse this time.
I only had the energy to talk with three of my closest friends, and occasionally I'd have the brain capacity and energy to play games with one of them, but that's about it. I can't tell you how many times I had to cancel my weekly call with one of my friends from being too tired or putting off playing a game with my other because I just didn't have the energy to cross my room and pick up my controller. It was bad.
Most of my days off have been in bed, sleeping, and trying to eat. So it hasn't been great.
However, two weeks ago something happened. I had stomach pain. Which granted, I have had before. Not the normal nausea but physical pain that if you pressed on my stomach it hurt. I was even walking with a limb by the end of the day. It doesn't happen often but I'm stubborn and don't like going to the hospitals so I had always chalked it up to a "self-correcting problem". For years. Whenever this happened it would go away within a few hours (nine hours max).
So when I woke up the NEXT day and it was still hurting, something was a bit wrong. I called out of work because there was no way I would've been able to stand and made a small deal with myself that if it wasn't gone by the next morning I would...go to the doctor. I know, crazy that I was gonna wait to be in pain for nearly three days but I hate hospitals and I didn't have health insurance with my new job.
Well, this wasn't good enough for my mom and she convinced me to go. The only way she did that was she seemed concerned. Now I'm dramatic. Very, very dramatic. And also a bit of a hypochondriac so I always feel like when I'm sick or in pain I'm simply being dramatic and that it's not actually serious even though my anxiety is telling me I might literally be dying (the number of times I have almost passed out by standing up and brushed it off, or laid in bed and suddenly my heart rate was going off like I sprinted a mile and decided I was probably fine is impeccable).
So I go to the emergency room and they ran some tests and what would you know! It's my appendix. And it wanted to break up with me...how admirable. And apparently, it was way worse than doctors initially thought because I happen to have an abnormally high pain tolerance so when asked on a scale of 1 - 10 what my pain was I said a 3. Apparently, with how bad off it was, I should've been at a 10+ but oh well.
The surgery that they predicted would be no longer than half an hour ended up being an entire hour, and I got four incisions when they said I'd only have three.
So I've been recovering for the past two weeks and should hopefully be back at work on Thursday. Decided to make this post because for once I've been able to eat decent meals for a few days in a row since I haven't been at work, and my brain is actually working for a while. I'm hoping maybe it'll continue so I can start writing again (Writing Twisted Wonderland content is a huge comfort of mine) but who knows.
Maybe my chronic nausea will be solved and I'll be nice and healthy and be able to eat regularly. I can dream. However since I have had a lot of people in my inbox asking me where I've been and if I'm doing already, and how I've essentially ghosted several friends in the fandom since I just don't have the energy to message many people, I figured I should give you the explanation as to what happened.
I'm going to try to get a little bit of writing done today, maybe bust out a few requests. I'm a bit stressed out since one of my good friends is currently on their way to the hospital because she's also a sick bean like me, but also I know damn well she'd enjoy seeing some Twisted Writing so imma do it.
Thank you for listening to my ramblings! I love you all!
TL;DR - I got really sick and couldn't write and then my appendix said bye.
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Thank you for the breakdown of that AI madara art! I have a hard time noticing an AI image without looking very closely and that helped.
I'm curious tho, while I refuse to use the existing major tools because of their unethical data sourcing and lack of public transperancy. I can't help but think every time i see AI art "wow! i would be so happy to see a visual recreation of an idea i have that i personally couldn't create without such a tool"
I would like to know your thoughts on what ethical use , if any, of applied statistics(aka AI) would look like for users and artists in the future?
(personally trying to get people to not call what we currently see as AI, because it is not intellegint in and of itself but rather capable of applying statistics that it knows to a problem in a human guided manner, calling current tech intellegent is dangerously misleading, and gives deniability to those responsible for the ethical failures of their misuse of data)
great last paragraph in this ask. love the username
for your dilemma, why not see if you can try to learn blender, which i think sounds like it could work best for your vision(?), or write/draw your ideas on post-its as a start and go from there(i do this all the time), or commission artists, or talk with other creators to figure out where to start in your endeavor? basically, there is always an avenue. i hope i don't sound chiding or condescending when i say this btw, it's a genuine question. i am of the firm belief that it is never too late to pick up a new skill, all that you need is the will and want to put in the time and effort. yes it is very time-consuming and will be frustrating, but the payoff of your personal satisfaction will offset that
that said. i mulled over this today and honestly the only thing i can imagine where applied statistics could work in the creative sphere are just that - statistics. set in stone numbers and mathematics. tl;dr should only be used for numbers/math based/logarithmic calculations, and artwise should at most only be used for basic (<-key word) topography/geography since these have undisputed science behind it.
what i came up with is that it could best be applied as projections, that is to say figuring out dates/times for things like serials or movies, file sizes, final output yield, audience outreach (NOT reception), manpower needed for the endeavor, basically numbers. in that, i think MAYBE and this is a big MAYBE it could also be used in work that is heavily geography based like calculating perspective and city planning in the work (how many buildings and how tall. angles, geometry, distance, that sort of thing) but organic items can not possibly be beholden to a mathematical algorithm and should not be touched by an information feed so easily poisoned by people. for example, a long-held interest of mine is meteorology, and the other day i was absolutely boiling and the heat index was so high i decided to look up what the math behind the heat index was. well, in short, even that is a math that varies from person to person.
there are simply too many variants behind using applied statistics in art, the biases of the input are too heavy, nature and people can not ever be fully understood by machines, and artificially generated art is soulless and more often than not quite frankly looks like shit. the appeal to the common denominator in art will, dare i say, always fail. to quote harlan ellison, "[w]e had given AM sentience. inadvertently, of course, but sentience nonetheless. but it had been trapped. AM wasn't God, he was a machine. we had created him to think, but there was nothing
it could do with that creativity."
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My Typical Art Process✨🌈
Was gonna reply to anon with this, but figured it was a bit too unrelated so I'll make a separate post! I do kinda wanna share my process anyway for anyone curious. I made something similar for twitter once but I no longer use twitter and my style has changed since then so here's a new one!
Tl;dr I draw for fun only and I have learned that textures and overlays and post-processing can do a LOT when it comes to making something look more "complete" while also not taking a lot of additional time. This is just my personal style spawned from my laziness and my love of harsh colors😆
I'll put it below the cut because it's long!
So to begin with, when I doodle (as opposed to a proper drawing that I take my time on) this is my typical "lineart":
I just draw the… what do you call it? The under parts… Like the circle and shapes, etc. to get the pose. Then lower the opacity and do another sketch on top of that. Then I lower the opacity of that and do ANOTHER sketch on top. 😆 I do that as many times as necessary until it looks like something. I don't worry a ton about anatomy or messiness or stray lines, it's just for fun to get an idea out of my head :)
Sometimes I also leave the under-sketches in or sometimes I turn the layer off. For this one I left them in.
Then I turn on all my textures, overlays, and H/S/L correction layer and crank the saturation up. The selected colorful layer was something I made once and saved it as an image material so I can just slap it on any time as an overlay. You will see it in almost all of my art, she's my beloved crutch and also I just like it lol. Other than that, I sometimes use paper textures that CPS came with and sometimes I make a perlin noise layer with the smallest grain size and set it to 'soft light'.
I also have recently been using a manga screentone overlay that comes with CSP.
Then I start coloring underneath!
This is how it looks without all of the blinding colors and textures I put there to distract you from the mess lol
Even in ones where I DO put in effort and try to use better anatomy and clean up a lot of the scribbles I pretty much never use clean lineart simply because I cannot be bothered 🤷🏾♂️ I don't really do anything different here, I just spend more time one it:
Also, even then the overlays and textures do a lot of the heavy lifting. Some of the overlays and effects I draw myself like the rainbow boarders around them and of course the doodle hearts. I don't draw backgrounds very often but I don't like an empty background so overlays or little doodles or text effects typically go there.
I should also mentions that I use the lightroom mobile app to further enhance all of my art, as shown above in the before and afters. I don't really have much to say on this point. I used to use lightroom mobile a lot when I did doll photography and I pretty much just wing it based on what I learned doing that. I like to mess with the texture settings and do masking edits to change the foreground and background independently to get better color balances. Like a bozo I pay for the subscription but I bet you could use any old editing app.
Oh, and I do pretty much everything with these brushes here. I got them a while back when they were free for 48 hours but unfortunately they are no longer free and cost 80 clippy now :( Should also warn you that they saturate any color and idk how to stop it from doing that so I just adjust the color accordingly before using or edit in post. Very nice though!!
Some other (free) things I like and use a lot:
Warm color set
Watercolor paper texture (free)
Cloud brushes
Watercolor auto action
Real paper textures
Prism brushes
Freckle brush
Aaaaand that's basically it!
#eye strain tw#we do not discuss my 100+ layers...#long post#artists on tumblr#digital art#jun rambles
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some incomplete, unfounded, and unpopular thoughts on the new ai announcement:
I'm choosing (maybe stupidly) to feel tentatively optimistic about it.
one of the things people who are trying to move to other platforms are quickly discovering is that the high likelihood is that many many of the other options are also likely selling your work either over the table but without clear disclosure or under the table.
unfortunately, frankly, I was operating under the assumption that some portion of my things were already being used. does that suck, in a frustrating dystopia way? yeah. but we also live in a world in which I'm acutely aware technology is advancing far faster than rules, regulations, and laws can keep up? also yeah.
secondly, I was also not surprised to hear the announcement because... we know tumblr has needed the money and has been forced to prioritize keeping the website afloat (longterm) over keeping its users happy and comfortable (shorterm). we know that businesses have never been our friend. they need the money, and I truly believe there were worse options for them to get it and worse ways for them to have screwed us over, and it wouldn't been standard to not tell us about it at all.
honestly i wish other platforms disclosed the deals and gave an opt out option. I hope this sets a president for other social media.
so glaze your art, be careful about your posts, toggle off the sharing whether or not it matters, and understand the internet has never been safe. persist anyway. enjoy creating and enjoy your friends and we'll figure it out. keep pushing and pushing for ai regulations and data selling disclosure and all that stuff - read up on it when you get the energy and don't get dragged down when there's too much to fight for. find and support people who have expertise in the areas we don't understand fully and do your best to keep plowing forward.
persist, with passion for what we create and determined optimism for what we can change and apathy for things outside of our control.
I am sure I'm making naive arguments about these things but I simply do not have the time or energy to be devastated every time a company makes a choice that knowingly or unknowingly impacts me. I've got people to love and art to make and I'm trying my best to be educated and make change but I refuse to die over it. this part is just me saying please don't come for me
tl;dr while the new ai deal is discouraging and scary, i do not think it's a catastrophe. and artists (of all kinds) have always and will always persist
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Hello! I hope everyone is having a lovely day today.
There's something we want to talk to everyone about regarding posts and replies.
It is very important that everyone read this post in full, so please do so! We'll be able to tell who has and who hasn't, and anyone we notice hasn't read it will receive a link to this post via tumblr and discord until we know it's been read. You've been warned!
As you probably know, Tumblr launched a new post editor a couple of years ago that hasn't been officially, fully implemented onto the site. Because of this, when making posts and doing replies, some of us are still able to toggle on and off between the legacy editor (the one we've been using for years now) and the new one. However, back in May, tumblr announced that they would start removing the legacy editor for some users, meaning that the eventual takeover of the new post editor is inevitable. Because of this - and a lot of reasons that we will go into further detail below - we think it's time to say goodbye to the legacy editor and only use the new post editor when posting starters and doing replies.
The thing is, as much as we love the legacy editor (RIP), you've probably noticed that sometimes using it to reply to posts that were created with the new post editor will make them a bit... wonky, to say the least. Your reply will appear twice, maybe the entire post will duplicate and then be impossible to delete (or simply require too much energy to fix). It complicates things for everyone. It's not anyone's fault! It's Tumblr's updates. It's also very hard to know when a post has been made using the legacy editor vs. the new post editor, so it's impossible to know whether a reply will work or not. To make things easier for everyone, I think it's important we all switch to the new post editor starting effective immediately.
Here's a couple of questions you might have.
Does XKit work with the new post editor?
The short answer is no. At least not the New XKit, the extension we've been using for ages now. If you've been roleplaying for a while, you probably remember there was an extension simply called XKit before New XKit came about, which was back when tumblr changed their post format the last time circa 2015. They got rid of blockquotes in reblogs! Remember? You couldn't edit your partner's reply even if you tried. And they did it again, except this time, it was a little harder to fix, so New XKit is no longer working with this new format. Reblogs using the new post editor look differently now. You can see an example of the difference below.
Does that mean I can't cut posts anymore?
Nope! You still can. The process is a little different, but if we're all using the new post editor, it shouldn't be very complicated.
You can use something called ✨ XKIT REWRITTEN ✨
It's another extension! (everyone say: thank you devs)
Because we are no longer allowing anyone to use the legacy editor, I would encourage everyone uninstall the New XKit extension you have and replace it with this one. It has basically the same features as the last one and is very user-friendly!
Download for Chrome
Download for Firefox
How does Trim Reblogs even work?
You can find a guide to using Trim Reblogs that explains it a million times better than I ever could right here. We'll have it linked in the resources channel on the discord as well, in case you need to check it out.
What about my current replies using the legacy editor?
Because we know you have active threads using the legacy editor, we'll allow you to play those out still using New XKit and editable reblogs, but any and all starters going forward have to be made using the new post editor. If your replies with your partner are duplicating or not working, you can either continue to write them that way, removing any duplicates if possible, or reach out to them and ask them what they want to do; try to figure something out that works for both of you.
So, TL;DR (but I DO hope everyone read this!):
Using the legacy editor will no longer be allowed in the roleplay. If you are currently using the legacy editor in replies, finish those but going forward, please post every starter and reply using the new post editor, install XKit Rewritten and toggle on Trim Reblogs to be able to cut your posts.
If you have any questions at all regarding this new rule (because we'll be adding it to the rules shortly with updated information and links to everything you'll need) please feel free to reach out to us!
To make sure everyone read this, I'm going to go very Tumblr 2012 and ask you to like this post and send me a discord message with a picture of your favorite animal. Thank you.
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