Genuinely thank you so much to everyone who submitted swords and otherwise helped me boost the tournament after my whining and complaining yesterday I love you all so much

We're now up to 72 submissions which is a MUCH more comfortable number. This is a number I could hold a tournament with!!

omg congrats on pulling bladie!!! big brother blade lives on my mind ngl ik he loves to spoil his lil sister’s pussy the second his parents r outta the houseee ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ᡣ𐭩ྀིྀི ₊˚ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒅 𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 . blade x fem reader

warnings ꒱ྀི incest. brief anal. creampie. a litl bit of possessive bladie. he says some dubious things. just a smidge of jealousy. “little girl” usage. breeding mention. unedited ofkurs ﾉ wc ꒱ 1.4k ﾉ 18+ ﾉ if uncomfy pls scroll or block ^_^

muhehe tysm ! ! still trying to build him ! he’s far from perfect but at least he’s at home with me. yk I had 2 pull through nd write smthn icky for him but I did go in a tad bit different direction :<<

you feel it, regret pooling in the pit of your stomach like rocks settling at the bottom of a shallow lake. the beating of your heart stutters out of tandem with the batter of blades hips.

his firm hands anchor themselves on the softness of your lower back, dull nails digging into your skin like thorns.

he fucks you with such depravity, and your obnoxiously noisy cunt salivated in response to the familiar bump of his cock. 

it was far too late for regrets, you knew it well, even as he’s buried himself to the hilt. your parents were a thing of the past, but there’s always the potential of subjecting an innocent passerby to the sight of your brother rubbing your tender insides with his cock. 

despite your roused state, you're still capable of reason, though your brother seemed to have a complete disregard for it.

“b-bladie.”

it’s soft on his ears, polite, although honeyed with a subtle warning accompanied by the slow pulse of your cunt. 

his cock twitches from your quiet plea. he’s close, and at this point, he knows better than to cross the line any further, but you were elusive to your own charms. how could he bury his urges when your round and soft butt continued to smack against his pelvis ? your cunt drooled each time he pulled out.

 its such a sight for sore eyes, and somehow his gaze kept wandering to the tight rim above, making his breathing ragged— almost animalistic.

 he’s seen all of you, sights no older brother should witness, but it didn’t stop him from wanting more.

it should terrify you, the lengths he goes to stake his claim over you. coming as close as threatening to breed you and keep you bound to him like a pet. predators would be wise to never cross the hunter, even they could sense the extent of his prowess. 

blade purposefully keeps you out of his affairs, but you know he’s a fearsome warrior. he’s tall and slender and with each movement, his hulk of muscle flexes. he’s strong enough to drag your body up and down his member, serving as a stark reminder of the gap in strength.

blade's palms, rough from wielding his ancient sword, settled on both sides of your waist, steels its grip. his thumb presses against your back, and the tips of his fingers meet at your belly button.

he bounces you on his cock, using you like a doll factored for fucking. he lifted you repeatedly like you weighed nothing and all you could do was submit to his brutal pace. 

blade bites his lip to prevent curses from escaping.

he feels . . . good, better than usual. your swollen pussy tugs on his length, drawing out the remnants of his willpower. the desire to cum and bury it in your womb causes blood to rush.

like you can sense the danger, you peer over your shoulder cautiously. 

“you h-have to pull out . . y’can’t just cum inside, okay ?”

such a redundant conversation, and he pays it no mind. 

what good would it be to do something so risky—so wrong, but for blade, it would be worth the peril. 

he doesn’t acknowledge your admonition, instead pressing you further into the sheets, elongating the arch in your back.

“stay still.” 

his hand collides with your backside and a startled gasp echoes. the apple of your ass cheek stings, while the damp release between your thighs becomes stickier. 

the weight on the bed dips when your big brother lowers himself. his chest presses to your back when he fucks you again.

roaring slaps of moist flesh lie thick in the air. you’re soft, so fragile in his embrace that he could crush you like a dainty flower trampled from being hidden between shards of grass.

when blade feels that familiar tender pulse of your cunt signaling your finish, he painfully pulls out as per your whiny request. he utterly despised having to separate himself from you, but nonetheless, he obeys your wishes. sort of.

his cock stands tall and thick, cream dripping from the edge of his tip. your pussy is agape in front of him, but his eyes linger on the tight coil of your ass.

rough palms enclose in a tight fist around his shaft. he pumps his cock, staring daggers at the rim until his balls hang heavier.

he wanted to empty them, he wanted nothing more than to milk his cock using your sweet cunt, but the hunger that normally consumed him wanted something else for a change. 

he slaps his tip against your puckered hole, humping the pretty flesh. his leaking head increasingly swells as the seconds pass by, turning bright pink. the hunter groans, and heaves, his sickening thoughts running rampant while he envisions himself filling up his little sister. 

he’s no longer computing, his body moves on autopilot, and he’s wiping his glossy tip over your ass. 

“hnn-! n-no more. not there bladie !”

you squeal. the sensation is new and foreign, and you find yourself torn between begging for more or scrambling away.

a growing smirk settles on his face, and you see a slither of his sharp teeth.

“you're mouthy today. maybe i should put my cock somewhere else instead.”

you tense when his tip probes your tight muscle again, rubbing it in circles. he was stimulating your ass, forcing your pussy to twitch out of neglect. 

he mumbles to himself. 

“such a brainless girl. i thought i made it clear that i take what i want.”

his orbital pools mimicking the color of blood narrow. he’s almost there, sloppily fucking the skin of your ass until the slippery head of his member breaches the tight ring. and then he snaps. 

with a single, calculated thrust, relief rains down in waves. he buries his cock in all the way as streams of his cum spurt out, dressing your walls in milky webs.

it’s warm as it fills your insides and your mind becomes a foggy maze. instead of your big brother cumming inside your cunt, he emptied his load in your ass, and nothing but burgeoning heat swallows you up. 

“thats it . . take what i give you.”

it’s hard to retain anything when his breath tickles the sides of your cheek and his pulsing sack mushes against your clit. 

“no part of you is off limits, little girl.” 

by now, you're writhing, and you can’t think about how full you felt. not when his words had you mewling out of shame and excitement.

blade makes sure to deliver a few more thrusts, just to be certain that he’s been thoroughly drained. his heart thrums against his chest, reminding him that he's real—you’re real, and that his cock is stretching his little sister’s ass.

his breathing becomes uneven, the exhales of air caressing the plains of your damp skin.

he lowers his head, his lips settling by the shell of your  ear. 

“soon . .”

long strands of his hair fall into place , resting on your own skin.

“i'll cum inside this tiny cunt and there's nothing you'll be able to do about it.”

a shiver runs down your spine. equal parts of fear and eagerness for that fateful day of promise.

when he pulls out, his seed drips from your opening down the length of your slit. both of his hands grab your ass cheeks to watch the cum nestle between your lower lips and spill on the already soiled sheets. 

carefully he watches your cunt push out the remnants, watching it cascade in thick dollops. 

“such greedy holes.” 

you puff out your cheeks and move the stringy hairs from your face. 

“stop it . . it’s so embarrassing when you say that .” 

you attempt to kick him off, and of course it’s thwarted by his iron hold on you.

he presses a sloppy kiss on your asshole, uncaring of the mess coating your sensitive parts. 

“eeeeeeeek -! you’re sooooooo gross, bladie ! get away from me !”

he spanks your ass to hush your outburst.

“shut up.”

he kisses you to silence more of your complaints. the faint taste of cum on his soft lips mingling against your spit - slicked ones. 

 he pulls away audibly, taking a calm breath. 

“you're seeing jing yuan tomorrow.”

you raise an eyebrow at the sudden mention of the general.

your brother is nothing less of a maverick, only keeping you close and others at a less than reasonable distance.

jing yuan however complicated things. while they weren't as close, anymore you still made an effort to see him despite their soured relationship.

in his scarce free time when he wasn't resting, he taught you all sorts of things. he helped time escape you when boredom struck in blade's absence. 

you nod stiffly, still skeptical at the hunter before you. you're wary of his intentions, but too stimulated to care. 

blade's face betrays no emotion and so, you’re suddenly startled.

you gasp when his teeth nicks at your neck.

he sucks the skin for a few seconds and then kisses the spot he bruised. proud of his handiwork he pulls away to speak up once more. you can nearly hear his smugness.

“. . . send my regards to the general.”

Taigen’s love confession NEEDS to come before he finds out Mizu is a woman.

Listen. I have given this a lot of thought and the more I think about it, the more I’m sure. When looking at Mizu and Mikio’s marriage, we can see how Mikio was in to the idea of a strong woman only so far as he was still stronger than her. This is clear when Mikio insists that he wants to “see all of [mizu]” and insists that they spar; Mikio doesn’t unsheath his blade even though Mizu tell him not to hold back. He assumes he is stronger than her and when this is proven false, like the beta bitch he is, he bails.

But with Taigen it’s different. Mizu and Taigen’s relationship has been a power struggle from the start. Taigen wasn’t introduced to Mizu as a woman or a wife. Taigen has always seen Mizu as a swordsman first. And when the hostility between the two starts to cool, it is because of their mutual admiration of the other’s skill. Mizu’s strength and boldness are what win Taigen over in the first place.

We also see a very important juxtapose between when Mizu pins Mikio to the ground and when she pins Taigen to the ground. In the first instance, Mikio pushes Mizu off him and calls her a monster. He feels put off and emasculated by being overpowered. In the Mizu/Taigen scene, however, once Mizu has Taigen pinned, he stares, awestruck, into Mizu’s eyes and gets a raging hard on. Instead of feeling emasculated, Taigen get so aroused that he has a full blown bi awakening.

So we know that Taigen is different to Mikio in that he is attracted to Mizu BECAUSE she can kick his ass, not in spite of it. But Mizu has been burned before. Badly. So if Taigen were to confess his feelings and tell Mizu that her strength is what he adores most about her, she’d be like, “right, sure, heard that one before.” And that’s why Taigen needs to confess his feelings BEFORE he finds out what’s in Mizu’s pants.

In my daydreaming about a Migen love confession, I find myself reminded of this quote. How Mikio was like the exotic bird collector. He only liked the idea of Mizu knowing her way around a sword so long as at the end of the day, he can still put her back into the caged-in roll of the house wife.

Taigen is also guilty of this with Akemi. I sure there is still no small amount of attraction and love between them, but I think Taigen pursues Akemi mostly out of the personal fable he has written about himself; the poor fisherman’s son who raises himself up to be the star of his Dojo and then marries a princess. He might not have wanted to cage Akemi as much as other men would have, but he still sees her as the exotic bird. The prize. And thats why I can’t ship them.

But with Mizu it’s different. Taigen even admits that Mizu is a better fighter than him. He KNOWS he could never cage her and by the end on the first season he strops trying, opting to stand beside her instead of against her (“it’s your fight, so it’s mine” 😭) So when he does confess his feelings, he has to do is as one man to another and make it clear to Mizu that her strength is what he loves most and that he would never want her to be anything less then the superior swordsman she is.

Only then will Mizu have a chance of believing that Taigen wants to be with her, not to subdue her into a wifely role, but to stand beside her in all her greatness. If Taigen’s confession were to come after he finds out she’s a woman, Mizu might just think, “oh, NOW you want to be with me, cause you think just because I’m a woman I’ll eventually submit to you.” Mizu needs to know she is loved AS SHE IS.

Also, I just think it would be HILLARIOUS if Taigen confesses, and Mizu is like, “ well then….. I guess I should let you know…” and then Taigen spends the rest of the episode with his mind fucking BLOWN and complaining that he has spent the last several months coming to terms with the fact that he is attracted to another man only to find out the man he is attracted to is a woman! He goes through a whole bi awakening for nothing!

It's been a while since I've submitted anything, but no pressure ^.^

Romances react to Fem!Inquisitor dealing w/ debilitating chronic pain. They hid it for so long because they were worried they wouldn't be an effective leader if it was known they were always in pain. (I am dealing with it myself so if you want specifics, hip and shoulder pain. Frequent migraines.)

Cassandra: She sees it right away.

Seekers of Truth have a calling to watch for magic, and that is their primary duty. But in that pursuit the martial and combat arts have always featured heavily, and in her tenure with the order Cassandra has trained more than one apprentice to the sword and shield and fighting arts. Young people are so impatient to learn and eager to show their prowess, even in the face of injury; women tolerate pain better and hide even more, already feeling the difference on the field.

All of that experience means that Skyhold's seeker sees the short swings and tighter movements, the subtle winces and how their lady inquisitor always sits just close enough to the fire on even the warmest nights. There are no injuries to cause this, and after a life of combat Cassandra is well versed with the sapping radiating ache of chronic and untreated pain.

"You are a herald, not Andraste herself. You must tell me or one of the others if you are in pain. We will support you. Come with me-- I will show you how to wrap your shoulders and we will find a new stance to help your hips. I have a tea that will help your head."

Varric: Ten years of fighting the good fight in Kirkwall can leave anyone with a few aches that just don't go away, and his keen eye for detail does not miss the signs. Blondie hasn't been around to tend those joints and muscles for a long time (not that Varric would trust him anymore regardless), and so a shopping list goes out to those merchants who specialize in a few key purchases.

Its after a late round of wicked grace, when there is no one else to save face for, that Varric briefly blocks her path and heaves a crate into his arms.

"This might be a poor story for heroes, Herald, but that doesn't mean you get to martyr yourself before the final act. Don't ask what is in the muscle balm, you don't want to know. Burns like bad whiskey but it works. Got some servants putting cushions on that throne for you, and Dennet has a good padded saddle like the jousters use. Few other things too."

He doesn't let them demur, and instead takes the crate to their quarters for them to avoid an argument. "You give enough, sunshine. Let us give back."

Solas: Chronic ailments are the most frustrating to manage, for there is no simple cure. When her pain follows her even into the Fade Solas can feel it, and when there is time he sits with the Herald and is gentle but firm.

"There is no reason to suffer-- your silence does not make the pain noble, no more than asking for help is callow. We will find a way to make this better for you, if you will only let us."

They establish a routine of slow healing spells to reduce the worst of the pain, and Solas coordinates with spirits of healing and valor to ease her sleeping mind and guard her dreams. Better rest and continual treatment are the best he can offer-- his guilt at aggravating her suffering he will carry in silence.

Sera: Hurting is stupid. Hurting when there is no injury is stupid. Stupid bodies are stupid!

Without any solid healing training there isn't much Sera can do to cure the symptoms. But the softest cushions and pillows find their way into the inquisitor's quarters, and the not insignificant portion of Skyhold's staff that coordinate through the Red Jenny keep her abreast (ha) of how their herald is doing. Sera ends up coordinating with those who can help, and heading off the most boring and unnecessary work so that their inquisitor can rest.

Blackwell: A hard life on the road adds up on any warrior, and the Herald is putting so much into a short amount of time. He knows the aching of his own joints enough to recognize it in her, but understands the need to hide any sign of weakness enough to not wish her embarrassment.

And so on the road he is less careful at measuring out the herbs to ease pain, and uses waste as an excuse to keep her cup full of the draught. He works with the others to make sure she has the best ground for her tent, and watches are coordinated so that she has ample time to rest.

When it finally does come to a head, his answer is simple and gruff-- but honest. "You alleviate enough suffering, my lady. Let me help when I can."

Vivienne: She is not fooled. Caretakers, when it comes to knowing the ins and outs of pain and the necessity of treating it, rarely are. The inquisitor is of course due her pride, and Madame de Fer can find no fault with keeping even the rumor of weakness at bay. The game is ruthless when it smells blood in the water, after all.

But that does not mean she lets the situation go unaddressed, and who but one of the most talented alchemists in Orlais to treat the Herald herself? The regiment starts off trial and error, as most treatments must, but in time the first enchanter isolates and perfects the tonics needed to lessen the worst of the aches and negate the migraines. Magic and herb work hand in hand, and few truly appreciate how much good can be done with just a shaving of root and leaf and the proper spells. She can even make them pleasant to the tongue.

"Think nothing of it, my dear. Though I do hope you will accompany me to my tailor's salon, next time we both grace Val Royeaux. There are better options for your comfort than...whatever they are having you wear now."

Dorian: Few physicians and even fewer magic users will ever gain the minute and detailed understanding of the human body quite like the necromancer. It is a study down to the cellular level, and understanding is key when knowing how much mana is required to reanimate bone and muscle. Many famous Mortalitasi were also famed healers, and for those who straddle the line between life and death it is the body that builds the bridge.

Dorian is no slouch in his own field, of course, but in truth it was the long months he spent with Felix that sharpened his novice healer's gaze. His late friend was never good at letting anyone know the extent of his suffering, and so the scion of House Pavus became a seer of suffering. The smallest shift or wince, or even the dillation of the pupil were enough to prompt rest or food or a restoration potion.

The Blight made all of his stud complex and hard to chart-- at the risk of down playing their leader's condition, chronic pain is childs play in comparison. She has only to lean back in her saddle at a certain angle (indicative of pain in the hips) before Dorian is bemoaning the Southern terrain and demanding a rest. The stoop of her shoulders after a long march will cut even the most important missions short, and Dorian is both vain and selfish enough on occasion to make all the delays entirely his fault.

The Inquisitor has chosen intelligent persons for her cirlce, thankfully, and after awhile the others catch onto his game. They still let his play the shirking violet, mostly for their Herald's sake, but as a rule the entire squad defers to the Tevinter's judgement on their inquisitor's condition. And that self same anatomical knowledge means that on the worst days Dorian calls heat into his hands and works the muscles and joints in theraputic massage until at least the edge of the pain is gone.

(The lack of rumors following the sounds of those massages might annoy the inquisition's resident necromancer, but the simple fact is everyone has heard him and the iron bull by that point and no one is fooled.

Shame.)

The Iron Bull: Having only one eye does not lessen his attention to detail, and like Dorian the Ben- Hassrath agent learns to read their leader's tells quickly. Stitches will be glad to have someone who actually wears the poultices for once, and when they are in the kind of terrain where horses cannot go (and he sees the pain wearing lines in far too young a face), he is the easiest solution.

"Now boss, come on! Think of the mayhem you can unleash from ten feet in the air! You'll be at rift height, really get them sputtering. Say, think if you get at the right angle you can get a rock into the Fade?"

Cole: "Like glass in the joints, can't get comfortable, no good angle. How can I lead if I can't even make my body listen? Too much pain, on and off but always on, no one will listen to a weak Inquisitor. But you aren't weak! You keep going even when it hurts, so that others don't hurt more. It helps! You help. And I can help you too.

Sleep."

Josephine: Once she is made aware of it, there is no stopping the Inquisition's ambassador. Doctors and healers and any number of resources are brought in. Work is reassigned and assistants are hired, soldiers are assigned so that there is enough gear for comfortable accommodations on the road. It takes hardly any time at all to arrange, but Josephine does make sure the pull their herald aside first. Her tone is as compassionate and unyielding as when her brothers were sick but still wanted to be outdoors and active.

"Your are important to Thedas, yes. Maybe even vital. But your health is even more so. You must let us be there for you, Your Worship, as you have been there for us. It is easy enough to manage, and no one shall begrudge you. Now, would you prefer down or wool for your cot padding?"

Cullen: He understands. Maker does the Commander understand. Withdraw leaves him with pain in every muscle and headaches that can last for days. Much of what he suffers is the consequences of his own choices and actions though, and Cullen cannot imagine how much worse it must be to have no understanding of why-- and no idea how to cure it.

His support is quiet, a bulwark against her duties. The medicines and treatments that help him are shared, but sometimes simply knowing that another deeply understands your plight is enough. He hopes, for her, that is helps.

Leliana: Divine Justiania hurt, sometimes. From her understanding, it was a combination of arthritis and age, but the pain was frequent enough that intervention was sometimes necessary. Justinia believed firmly that what was eaten affected who ate it, and the personal chef of her office had made careful notations and created a diet designed to ease the worst of her suffering.

When she asks, blunt in the way she can only be with those who understood the Divine, his answer is full of common sense and compassionate suggestions. These are sent to the people who can best use it, kitchens and servants and those members of the inner circle who can help.

The Herald will never need to know who it is that realized how much fish helped instead of red meat, or who ordered the green tea of Rivian that reduces inflammation in the joints. She need never be told of the letters, full of blackmail and threats, that silence those nobles who claim the herald unfit to lead, or keep the deliveries and ingredients to help off of manifests and inventories.

Her work is in the shadows, and she does not need to show it. But it feels right, somehow, that even gone the Divine might help the Herald. And her Left Hand shall make it so.

Mod Fereldone

I took part in @thepenultimateword's song-story writing challenge. It was fun!

My assigned song was Scarborough Fair by Simon and Garfunkel, submitted by @wacko-weirdo.

...

The fire cracks and sways, warm against the cold night. The shadows of those gathered around it dance much like flowers in the wind, swaying calmly without hurry. A unique form of slow dancing.

The hunter watches from further away. They could listen in on the conversation if they wanted to, but the sounds all smudge in their head. They barely manage to thread the waters of their conflicting thoughts. They’re tired.

The tree against their back is grounding. It’s the hunter’s only comfort. They don’t think to ask for more. They couldn’t possibly.

The group seems so calm. As if they’ve forgotten that there are still soldiers hunting them. The conversation is light, flickering with laughter like the dancing flames, all-consuming.

…perhaps they wish to forget for a while.

The hunter would much like to forget, too.

“Are you going to join us?”

The hunter looks at their old friend. Old friend doesn’t quite cut it. Neither does lover. Neither does any other label that the hunter has tried over the years. Their friend is simply always there.

Their witch friend.

The witch meets their eyes. The fire reflects in the deep brown that is so familiar to the hunter. Its familiarity offers comfort—comfort, which the hunter is unable to accept.

The hunter can’t bear to look.

They turn back towards the fire. Staring into the light is a bad idea, the hunter knows, for one cannot monitor the shadows blinded. And yet, they look. The blazing flames seem to swallow their worries, to soothe. The fire gazes right into their soul and warms its darkest corners. It all feels alright for a little while.

The witch gently takes their hand. They tug the hunter along, towards the fire.

The hunter’s arm lifts to follow the movement but they do not budge. The tree they’re leaning against is their anchor then. They fear losing their ground. They fear getting lost entirely.

They want to go. They want to let themselves be pulled along, they want to join everyone, they want to belong. They want to belong, to finally, finally…

“I’ve killed too many.”

On someone else’s orders. Because of someone else’s ideals. They didn’t know better.

The blood is on their hands.

I might have killed you, too.

The witch steps closer to them, interlocking their fingers instead. They examine their hand, the knuckles, callouses and scars. Those little wounds that tell the stories, if one can read them well enough.

They run their fingers over the hunter’s bandaged forearm, a ghost of a touch. They were the one who tended to the hunter’s injury that day.

“You’ve helped us get away.” The witch meets the hunter’s gaze. “You’ll help us still, won’t you?”

“Of course.” For you.

The witch keeps staring into their eyes. They might be trying to look right past, into the hunter’s mind and soul. They might just be able to read each and every of the hunter’s thoughts.

The hunter has thoughts. The hunter has many thoughts, flying around in their head, possibly causing more harm than good. The hunter can’t seem to stop them.

The hunter knows nothing of herbs. They know nothing of healing. With each moment passing by, they learn that they know nothing of witches, either. They try to learn.

They were told witches are dangerous. They were told they were vicious, vile creatures, evil beings beyond salvation. They were told death was a witch’s only comfort.

It used to be their only truth. The only thing that could help them carry the weight of their sword somewhat, when all of the life seeped out of another pair of silver eyes. It was their shield when the weight of taking a life threatened to slit them open.

It has all shattered so easily.

The hunter vividly recalls the moment their friend’s eyes flashed silver. Their friend was pushed to the edge, looking to them for help. The pieces fit together perfectly. The soldier next to them lunged forward. Their blow never landed.

The hunter met the others a little later on. The other not so evil creatures, who just want to live.

The hunter knows a little better now.

Witches are curious about the world much like their friend has always been. They bear their own weight, the magic running silver in their blood. They desire to live. To be safe. To be understood. The hunter can relate perfectly.

They try to learn.

“Thank you,” the hunter says.

“For what?”

Thank you for opening my eyes. For trusting me. For not letting me stay in the clutches of their truth.

“Being such a pain in my ass.”

The witch laughs. The sound wraps over the hunter like a soft blanket. Nobody ever told them that a witch’s laugh could heal.

The witch lifts the hunter’s hand. They press a kiss to it, holding their gaze.

The hunter shivers.

“I should thank you,” the witch whispers, “for protecting us.”

“Always.”

The witch pulls them along again. Towards the fire. Towards their family.

This time, the hunter lets them.

Antis DNI - Block the tag "comship" if this causes discomfort.

Remember, you are voting for the ship you prefer, not the ship you find more problematic

Propaganda for both ships under the cut.

Disclaimer: All ships (other than NozoCoco) on this bracket are FOLLOWER-SUBMITTED ships, the Mods do not always hold necessary knowledge to be aware of any errors or fanonizing what should be canon material that may arise.

Finncest Propaganda (Incest - Technically(?), Selfcest, Toxic Dynamic, Arguably Age Gap - Grass demon is of indeterminate age)

"Finn loves all of his selves, and Fern just wants to be Finn. They should've kissed instead.

Fern's existence as an alternate Finn is tragic to start. He's a time paradox Finn who got trapped in a sword. He was created because Finn took his alternate self for granted and was tricked into stabbing him with a cursed grass sword.

Fern has a body only because of a grass demon. He struggles with finding an identity, because he's supposed to be this big hero just like Finn, but he's a violent little guy who has no qualms about cutting tendons and killing.

Finn says `we're like brothers… Maybe even closer` and almost confesses he has feelings for his frustrated alternate self, but by the time he starts showing it more clearly, Fern has already decided to trap Finn in a dungeon and take over his life.

That's the first time Finn kills Fern.

Fern becomes Finn's evil counterpart and pulls a Green Knight. Finn tried to redeem Fern and succeeds, but then Fern just loses his body until all that's left is a seed.

The seed grows into a replacement of the home they briefly shared — literally, Fern becomes a home for Finn."

"Finn loves every version of himself he meets, but Fern is special. He's a paradox who spent over a year trapped in a sword which got broken traumatically, and was then given a body by a demon who used to be the other Finn's right arm. Fern is constantly measured against Finn and can never measure up, to his ceaseless frustration. But Finn loves him unconditionally. Finn Mertens basically confesses that he loves Fern as something closer than a brother, only to be rejected and betrayed by Fern, who wants to take over Finn's life. This leads to the first time that Finn kills Fern. In the end, though, they face their demons together."

ZADR Propaganda (Toxic Dynamic, Species Difference - Dib is human while Zim is an Irken alien, Age Gap, AdultxMinor - Sort Of)

"These two self-serious goofuses are obsessed with each other. Each validates the other's delusions just by existing. They're nemeses who resent others getting between them. Each may be the only one who really understands the other."

I love how different I treat OOT link vs taol link in my head

OOT link is a tragic character in OOT yes, but his story from Majora’s mask onward is not a tragedy. He relearns what it’s like to love and to live despite the pain and terrors. He is the ultimate symbol of hope and learning to cope with one’s own grief, to forge a bright future despite the past. Yes, maybe if link stayed in the future world of OOT instead of returning to the past he would have found more tragedy or even death, but his story in Majora’s mask is one of the most hopeful stories any link has faced. The damn game ends with a wedding!! The game symbolizes and cherishes love and happiness more than anything, link is NOT a tragic character during or post Majora’s mask.

TAOL Link is the ultimate tragic character in my eyes. Yes we get very little of his story since the games are very old but I would argue that the world tloz/TAOL link lives in is even more apocalyptic than botw/totk. You start as a child in the middle of nowhere, a sword thrust upon you and a destiny you’re forced to follow to save a strange princess from a monstrous pig. Myself and others even theorize monsters originally burned down link’s village and people and that’s how he ended up where he is at the start of the first game, from fleeing that horror. By the time of TAOL, he’s around 16/17 now so 6-7 years older than in the original tloz. He has been in possession of two pieces of the triforce all that time and is forced to find the third to prevent the resurrection of the same monstrous pig. Now this takes context from other games but if you’re familiar with Ganondorf from OOT, you know that his possession of the triforce of power for 7 years has physically altered his appearance. I personally view it as the triforce of power is physically altering him to look similar to the goddesses, more animalistic than human (even if it’s only been a slight alteration between the past and future). TAOL Link has had both the triforce of power AND wisdom in his possession since he was 10… who knows how that has changed not only his body but his mind. With his possession of the triforce of courage by the end of the game, who knows how that will affect his soul too. Most often when link has had the triforce of courage for long periods of time, he loses any sort of fear or care for himself. Albw is a great example of how his sacrificial desire to protect others can cause more harm than good, the same reason why link died in botw (even though I have more thoughts on that). Taol link, a child by all rights, thrust into a terrible world to protect two different princesses, and slowly turning into the perfect puppet of the goddesses. The triforce gives you the power to grant any wish you want, but what if the cost is losing your own free will the longer you have them? Link is harboring the triforce to prevent a resurrection and further ruin, surely that doesn’t come without consequences. OOT link was able to break free from his fate and was forced to confront his greatest fear: himself. The cycle of never ending grief… was broken. However similar to OOT link, TAOL link also had to confront himself. But it wasn’t to confront his trauma and fears, it was a test specifically designed by the former king and the goddesses. A perfectly designed test to prove to the goddesses that he is the perfect puppet and harborer of the triforce: dark link. I think shadow link is a more apt term because dark link is not an evil version of link, dark link is the manifestation and mirror of all of link’s strengths, fears, kills, deaths, and courage. He is a perfect puppet of link just minus his weaknesses, the link the goddesses want him to be. So TAOL link doesn’t confront himself to conquer his grief and fears, he confronts himself to fully submit to the triforce and the goddesses and the kingdom. He is the link who has fully fallen victim to the triforce and may never be himself ever again.

So all that to say, I will defend OOT/mm to my death bed about how link’s story is not a tragic one. And I will argue to that same death bed about how tloz/taol link’s story is.

TROPE-TASTIC

So I'm trying something I saw on rumble. Basically, I'm making a list of the prompts I'm using for this story challenge.

Problem is... I need 30 prompts I can work with... I've only found 19.

Anyway...

This is what I'm working on. I'd love to see others interpretations of these prompts, so feel free to use them in your own chapter or one shot stories!

If you do, please link them to keep so I can read/promote them! If you post them here, add the hash tag #AWBsesskag

Genre: Humor/Romance/Angst

Twist: Try to use as many tropes as possible

Universe: Canon

Fandom: Inuyasha

Pairing: Sesshomaru x Kagome

Rating: M

Description:

A few weeks have passed since Sesshomaru & his group joined the Inutachi. No one knew why Sesshomaru started following them around. Nor did they understand him seeming obsession with their naieve miko.

Prompts!

(In no particular order)

Hot Spring: Much to her mortification, kagome winds up accidentally giving the males of her group a peep show.

Swordplay: Inuyasha & Sesshomaru argue over who's "sword" is bigger & who "swings" it better.

Plum Sake: Poor Sesshomaru is at a loss when drunk Kagome comes out to play

Fairytale: Kagome wakes up from a yokai induced sleep to a kiss from Sesshomaru while the kids cheer about her bedtime stories

Sleep: Sesshomaru watches kagome sleep, lost in thought. Meanwhile, Inuyasha watches him, jealousy building with every second that passes.

Instinct: Sesshomaru protects Shippo, Sango, & Miroku in Kagomes absence

False Claim: When Kogas antics go to far, Sesshomaru steps in to set things straight once & for all.

Liar: After an argument, Inuyasha leaves to be with kikyo for the night. Leaving Sesshomaru behind to pick up the pieces of a broken miko.

Acts of Honor: Sesshomaru captures Kohaku during battle, but instead of leaving him for dead, he returns him to Sango as the brother she remembers... not Narakus puppet.

Dishonorable: Sesshomaru scolds Miroku for his unfaithful & lecherous ways, much to the Monks embarrassment.

Festoval: Sesshomaru takes pride in spoiling the pack at a yokai celebration in honor of the balance between earths power, humans, & yokai.

Stormy Eyes: Injured, but furious... Kagome not only scolds but challenges Sesshomarus mother to a dual.

Healing: When Kagome is Injured, Sesshoumaru protects & cares for her in a way only a inu should care fot their mate, causing confusing feelings for Kagome.

Revelations: Sesshomaru opens up about his upbringing. Not realizing what he's describing is manipulation & abuse. His is when kagome decides her feelings for Sesshomaru are stronger than friendship.

Shame: Sesshomaru & his mother argue over his feelings over lagome, not realizing she overhears his lack of denial when his mother accuses him of being as shameful as his father for loving a human.

Enough: After finding Sesshomaru comforting her... Inuyasha goes too far with his insults towards kagome, resulting in an all out brawl.

Penis: Anyone who wants to visit the future kagome comes from,needs to be subjugated. Kagome decides on a word she would NEVER say to the kids.

Whore: Word around Tokys is that Higurashi Kagome is an unwed, teen mother whos getting kicked out of middle school for lying about being suck to chase a gangster two timer, only to turn around & switch to his brother. Her families reputation is in ruin.

Chickens: Sesshoumaru is HIGHLY unimpressed with Kagomes friends & the boy Hojo who couldn't take no for an answer.

Submitted by @anastasiaskarsgard

Control: Kagomes power has been compromised & she can no longer control it. When her reki violently lashes out during a disagreement, she fears she's hurt Sesshomaru

Collections: Poor Jaken. Once a leader in his own right, he abandoned his people to serve the most feared yokai in Nippon. For years, things had been wonderful. But recently, his master had taken up an odd hobby. Jacken just couldn't fathom why his master kept collecting human females!

Rawr: Ah-Un are in charge of watching over the children. All seems well & the large dragon is able to eat their grass in peace. But serenity never lasts & if Ah-Un wants to get back to their lunch, they'll need to teach the yokai attempting to sneak up on the camp a lesson.

I still need 8 more prompts (minimum to hit 30. The max is 45 chapters) I figure I should add some battle scenes somewhere, lol. If you have any Prompt ideas... especially funny ones... PLEASE comment them below. 💜

Strange Things That Happened In History Class

Cryptid Teachers

Professor Gadling had to take a moment. He really did.

It was that or explode into hysterical laughter right that very second and that really wasn't going to help his cause now, was it?

The paper he was trying to grade was supposed to be an essay on the suicide of Crown Prince Rudolf at Mayerling and its indirect effect on World War I. Instead, what he got was "Our Four Cryptid Teachers on Campus."

And a List, which deserved to be quoted in its entirety:

a. Professor Robert "Hob" Gadling - Probably knew Shakespeare IRL; explains why he has such a hate-boner for him

b. Professor Adam Pierson - has an actual motherfucking SWORD hidden somewhere in his clothes (maybe it's like Hammerspace?!!) and might possibly DUEL other immortals; maybe the OLDEST immortal because he talks about ancient EGYPT like he's been there, done that and worn the t-shirt

c. Professor Duncan Macleod - the OTHER sword-wielding immortal

d. Professor Nicholas Chevalier - VAMPIRE?!!! OMG?!!! Also, his Dad is legit creepy and we sincerely believe he's legit a vampire?!!!

Honestly, there was only one, sane, sensible way to respond to this.

Dustin, interesting essay choice there, lad, but I was rather expecting something about poor Crown Prince Rudolf and not speculations about my cryptid status. Incidentally, thank you for realizing that I'm not the Oldest Immortal around, yes, Professor Pierson wears his Ancient Egypt T-shirt with pride and yes, you'd do well to steer clear of Lucien Lacroix, that one gives me the willies.

You have a day to give me the right essay, so chop chop!

2. The Cat Thing

"So maybe his fursona is a cat, did ya ever think of that, genius?!"

"Ahahahaha, right, sure, Steve, he uses meows, purrs and trills like a legitimate language and the cats understand him - this is NOT a fursona thing my friend!"

"Also, Steve-o, I didn't think you knew about things like fursonas..."

"Eh, you've been around the Internet long enough, you pick up on some things, Wheeler."

"So Murphy speaks Cat like legitimately, actually speaks Cat, not just like us humans doing random meows."

"Yep."

"Score 1 for the Cryptid Candidacy! We're adding Murphy to the list."

"Actually, humanity knew how to speak feline once. The knowledge was lost, aeons ago. Isn't that right, Miette?"

"Meow!"

"I could tell you that Story, if you've a mind to listen."

"GYAAAAH!!!!"

3. Typhoon Morpheus

First off, Isabel didn't really actually mean to eavesdrop.

She'd submitted the wrong paper for the classwork they'd done today and while it wasn't as spectacular a mistake as Dustin Henderson's Cryptid List - it was still, obviously, the wrong paper. So she was just hurrying to fix things, although she was a little nervous, because Professor G seemed to be in a bad mood the whole day.

She was just about to knock on the door when she heard:

"Look, Gadling, you gotta do something. Caw!"

That voice sounded oddly familiar.

"Oh, Christ, what now?"

"Whatever it is you two did, fix it, for the love of Murphy. Do you see these feathers, man? I am soaking wet - it's been raining in the Dreaming and it hasn't stopped. Lucienne's already got all the rest of us trying to save the books in the Library from the flooding."

"Raining."

"Yeah. The boss thinks you don't love him anymore. So, boom, cue the rain. Thunder and lightning. Sturm und Drang - the works, you know?"

"Wait. Hang on, he thinks we've broken up?!!"

"Duh? Yeah?!!"

"Oh for Chrissakes, it was just a silly, ridiculous argument - I'm - hey, Matthew, remind me to kiss the stupid out of that idiot. After I yell at him. And kiss him stupid again."

"Reminder set, Other-Boss. Can we go now?"

Isabel told herself she was never, ever, going to speak of this to anyone - even if the fact that she had witnessed Matthew talking was probably enough to confirm Murphy's Cryptid Status on Dustin's stupid list.

4. Stranger Things

"Run this by me again, love," Professor Gadling said, in obvious bewilderment. "You're a Dungeon Master? What is that?"

"Not anything kinky, Professor G! AHAHAHA!" Dustin Henderson said in overly cheerful tones.

Murphy slanted the boy a look of wry amusement. "I think he understands that already."

"He's our DM for Dungeons and Dragons, Professor," said Will Byers. "It's a storytelling game."

"Ah, of course, a storytelling game, why wouldn't His Darkness the Prince of Stories be interested in that?" Professor Gadling said wryly.

"He's the best DM ever," volunteered Iggy Pop. "Like, the way Eddie went down fighting the demobats with Metallica, that was like, truly epic."

Murphy inclined his head in a regal almost-bow. "I can only but inspire. And I rather enjoyed young Eddie's performance. Truly something only a Master Bard could do."

"I'm still dead though!"

"Relax, man, we'll bring you back in flashbacks or something. Or maybe make you into a vampire!"

"Hey, you'd better - because I am this close to writing the Love Song of Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington and posting it on AO3!"

Professor Gadling knew when to give in. "Fine, you can use The New Inn for your session tonight. Just try not to wreck the place while you're off trying to fight the forces of darkness or whatever."

Murphy leaned over to drop a kiss into his hair. "We'll put all the breakables away before we begin our quest anew, dearest."

-end-

Footnote the First: Shortly after Dustin compiled his List of Cryptid Teachers on Campus, a new Professor joined the faculty, having retired from his former tailoring job at Kingsman. His name? Michael Percival Archangelus.

Footnote the Second: Dream of the Endless is not quite sure how he ended up adopting Hob's students and joining their D&D group, but he is quite charmed at their imagination and creativity and thoroughly enjoyed the idea of designing a villain formidable enough to test them.

Footnote the Third: Look, Dream still hadn't quite gotten all the nuances of a healthy relationship but he's at least figured out that minor spats and squabbles do not equate to breaking up and ending things forever. Hob's made sure of that. The kisses definitely helped.

****

Did I also just crossover Forever Knight, Kingsman and Stranger Things into this ridiculousness? Yes, yes I did. Nobody tell Neil.

Also, the "Michael" in this story is the headcanon Michael I came up with for the Lucifer show. Except obviously, this Michael isn't an evil twin douchecanoe but is an actual legit good guy... who uh.... spent a few years with Kingsman.

[continued]

The Final Dungeon: Liar’s Mausoleum

No minimap in this dungeon nosirree

Also there is fog EVERYWHERE. You can see a couple in-game metres in front of you, tops

And the cave itself is designed specifically to be frustrating to navigate

Lots of dead ends and weird interconnected paths

This is due to the fact that I am mean and cannot think of a better gimmick, so I am going to make the player suffer

teehee!

Honestly, that may do it for the notes of the dungeon

I don’t think there are any eye-themed enemies in octopath so I don’t know what the enemies are gonna be

Alas.

At the end of the dungeon, there’s a large chamber marked with double-doors

Yeah they put doors in the cave. Deal with it.

As you enter, Ekaterina asks you to stop. She has a plan.

She is very clearly supposed to be dead, so showing her face in front of the seer is gonna be bad news

Instead, Praem should go in alone, with Ekaterina waiting right outside

Praem is to claim that Ekaterina is dead if asked to get info out of the seer

With Ekaterina just out of sight, Ekaterina kicks down the door (because she has the right to be a little dramatic in this situation), revealing the seer standing with three other robed figures

“Prophet.”

“Ah, so you’ve come at last to where you were always meant to be. Good, good. Is the job finished?”

“Yes. The razor is broken.”

“Excellent… all in accordance to what was written…”

It pains me that octopath does not give me a way to have Praem’s eye twitch but she’s on the verge of flipping her shit here. This is confirmation of everything that could have gone wrong has done exactly that.

“Regardless, what end does this serve?” [stage directions: Praem switches sprites here to one with her hand at her sword] “Why are we doing this?”

The Prophet laughs. “You shall see, Blade of Mist. You shall see.”

Praem, rather than responding to that, draws her sword and immediately downs one of the robed figures

“Ekaterina! Now!”

Ekaterina rushes the room and the two stand back-to-back from one another

“False prophet, who wrote it? Who wrote that my fate was to sacrifice an innocent woman?”

“You… deceiver! How dare you betray his cause!”

“I am not beholden to any such cause, so I will ask this. Will you answer me, or will you submit to your death by my blade?”

“He had planned all of this so meticulously… You needed only follow the fate he had planned… How could you do this?”

Praem takes a step forward. “If there is one thing that recent events have taught me, it is that the fool’s tale you call ‘fate’ is naught but smoke and mirrors. Give. Me. An. Answer.”

“You… blasphemer… How DARE YOU DISGRACE HIS NAME. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SHINING BEACON, OUR GREATEST GENERAL! MEN! BRING ME THIS HERETIC’S BLOOD. THE MASTER WILL BE MOST PLEASED.”

The two cultists and the Prophet rush Praem and Ekaterina, transitioning into…

AND SO THE MIST BILLOWS OUT OF THE SHATTERED MIRROR

Chapter Five (Praem), pt. 2:

The Final Dungeon: Liar’s Mausoleum

No minimap in this dungeon nosirree

Also there is fog EVERYWHERE. You can see a couple in-game metres in front of you, tops

And the cave itself is designed specifically to be frustrating to navigate

Lots of dead ends and weird interconnected paths

This is due to the fact that I am mean and cannot think of a better gimmick, so I am going to make the player suffer

teehee!

Honestly, that may do it for the notes of the dungeon

I don’t think there are any eye-themed enemies in octopath so I don’t know what the enemies are gonna be

Alas.

At the end of the dungeon, there’s a large chamber marked with double-doors

Yeah they put doors in the cave. Deal with it.

As you enter, Ekaterina asks you to stop. She has a plan.

She is very clearly supposed to be dead, so showing her face in front of the seer is gonna be bad news

Instead, Praem should go in alone, with Ekaterina waiting right outside

Praem is to claim that Ekaterina is dead if asked to get info out of the seer

With Ekaterina just out of sight, Praem kicks down the door (because she has the right to be a little dramatic in this situation), revealing the seer standing with three other robed figures

“Prophet.”

“Ah, so you’ve come at last to where you were always meant to be. Good, good. Is the job finished?”

“Yes. The razor is broken.”

“Excellent… all in accordance to what was written…”

It pains me that octopath does not give me a way to have Praem’s eye twitch but she’s on the verge of flipping her shit here. This is confirmation of everything that could have gone wrong has done exactly that.

“Regardless, what end does this serve?” [stage directions: Praem switches sprites here to one with her hand at her sword] “Why are we doing this?”

The Prophet laughs. “You shall see, Blade of Mist. You shall see.”

Praem, rather than responding to that, draws her sword and immediately downs one of the robed figures

“Ekaterina! Now!”

Ekaterina rushes the room and the two stand back-to-back from one another

“False prophet, who wrote it? Who wrote that my fate was to sacrifice an innocent woman?”

“You… deceiver! How dare you betray his cause!”

“I am not beholden to any such cause, so I will ask this. Will you answer me, or will you submit to your death by my blade?”

“He had planned all of this so meticulously… You needed only follow the fate he had planned… How could you do this?”

Praem takes a step forward. “If there is one thing that recent events have taught me, it is that the fool’s tale you call ‘fate’ is naught but smoke and mirrors. Give. Me. An. Answer.”

“You… blasphemer… How DARE YOU DISGRACE HIS NAME. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SHINING BEACON, OUR GREATEST GENERAL! MEN! BRING ME THIS HERETIC’S BLOOD. THE MASTER WILL BE MOST PLEASED.”

The two cultists and the Prophet rush Praem and Ekaterina, transitioning into…

Harrow the Ninth, Act Three, Chapter 23

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one!)

(Third House icon) In which there's some particularly nasty business if you have the usual set of cultural taboos.

FOUR MONTHS BEFORE THE EMPEROR'S MURDER

The mood of the Mithraeum has changed for the worse. Harrow tries to train and build muscle to use her sword, tries so hard that she "would have broken the heart of any actual swordswoman."

Nobody can quite describe a Herald to her, because they cause madness and eye-bleeding in all those who behold them.

She discusses things with John, including Ianthe. John says if he were to give her an epithet, it would be the Saint of Awe. Harrow, through "a scab formed over everything that had happened", thinks that probably didn't suit Naberius. Harrow also asks about battles to come.

But you pressed: "Lord, it's not certain that I'm going to die." He did not correct your Lord, then.(1) In those oil-slick, inconceivable eyes, you saw a flicker of something that you did not understand. God said, "Harrowhark, to that, to everything, all I can say is that I live in hope. And that you need to keep handling your rapier."

So, she sneaks into the training room, and tries and tries.

Later, Harrow walks past the door to Cytherea's tomb, but the door is closed, which it never usually is. Ignoring her sense of self-preservation, she opens the door and finds the Saint of Duty holding Cyth's body. Not just holding her. Doing something unmentionable(2) that made Harrow blush all the way up to her ears. He tells Harrow to close the door and go away, and she does. Harrow goes to tell Ianthe, but when she gets to the details, Ianthe is dismissive, saying "Oh, but who hasn't done that,"(3) but at least now they know who's been moving her, so to speak.

Harrow isn't so easily dismissed, and they snark back and forth some, each telling the other an insult given by one of the elders. Ianthe says Teacher asked if they could store Harrow in with him when the Beast comes. Harrow, reduced to using this form of insult, nevertheless relays that Teacher called Ianthe "far from a perfect sword hand", at which point Ianthe asks if those were his exact words, and Harrow confirms.

Ianthe calls God a dickhead. Harrow is consumed by fury at this blasphemy.

You drew your two-handed sword from your back: your wrists weren't quite in the right position,(4) but it was a good attempt. [...] You said, "Do not blaspheme in front of me." "Don't draw on me with that ridiculous thing. You don't even know where you got it." "God gave it to me." "And you've never asked yourself why?" At those mere six words, your brain revolted. You felt a hot, thick sensation in the back of your top sinuses that you had not felt in a very long time, never approaching your limits enough for it to occur: a nosebleed. "So tell me why," you said evenly. "Can't," she snapped. "You ensorcelled my jaw,(5) you fucking psycho shadow vestal! Yes, I worked that one out! So unless I want to do homebrew mandible surgery, I can't squeal to anyone. And I have thought about homebrew mandible surgery, but I have no idea how far back your curse extends, because I'm not a blackened, tedious little bone witch. Now sheathe your sword; you don't want to go toe to toe with me."

Harrow says she's wrong about that one, and Ianthe makes threats Harrow wants her to act on. They stare each other down across Ianthe's bed, until Ianthe calls Harrow's bluff and submits dramatically to Harrow's murdering, because she's up too late and has to be up early.(6)

There was no answer to that, naturally, except to sheath your sword, return to your bedroom, and put yourself to bed, defeated.

=====

(1) Interesting that he still hasn't told her all that he supposedly is, when he told her not to worship him until he does. He mostly still corrects her when she calls him by a holy name instead of a normal one. (2) The lack of detail is used so surgically in this book, because we as readers will generally do much worse in our imaginations than any specific details a writer can provide. (3) This exchange really implies to me that there wasn't precisely sex going on in the chapel, but makes me wonder exactly what Muir thought it would be, something big enough to scandalize Harrow but small enough to make Ianthe roll her eyes. (4) Yes, whoever is narrating certainly knows a thing or two about swords. (5) Another clue as to what happened, and why Harrow had to examine Ianthe's jaw and tongue in that early chapter. (6) So relatable.

Think of the last dream you had. What was it about? I don’t remember. I rarely remember my dreams.  What stresses you out? Currently, my health is my biggest stressor.  What's one song that you can listen to that can make you fall asleep? There isn’t a song, but ASMR can help.  Do you tend to trip over air often? I tend to bump into things or hit my hand or elbow on something.  Have you ever gone on a cruise? No.

Have you ever watched the sunrise? Yes. What about the sunset? Yes. Name a band that you think is beyond overrated: *shrug* When was the last time it snowed in your area? It doesn’t snow here.  Summer or Winter? Why? Winter, hands down. I don’t do well with the heat and it gets miserably hot here. Our summers also feel like they go on forever. We’re in mid October and it’s still been in the 90s.  Spring or Autumn? Why? Autumn. I love the weather, the holidays, the smells, the colors, and just the coziness.  What season were you born in? Ugh, in the summer. Do you like to play in the rain? No. I love when it rains, though.  Do you think that by doing so, you may catch a cold? It’s possible.  Who is the last person you said goodbye to? My brother yesterday when he went to work. What are you currently sitting on right now? My bed. Are you listening to music? No. Is there anyone you know who always looks like a smug bastard? No. Who can you not live without? My mom. What's your favorite instrument? The piano and guitar.  Do you have anything planned for your next birthday? My birthday isn’t until July, I have plenty of time to figure something out. I do hope to do something fun since this year I had to spend it in the hospital.  How tall are you? About 5′4.  Do you wish to be any taller or shorter? I wish I was taller.  Have you ever submitted anything to Fmylife.com? No.  Are you currently working on finishing a book? No. Do you have a blog? If so, care to leave a link to it? You’re lookin’ at it.  Is your hair naturally curly, straight or in-between? It’s wavy.  What's your favorite sea creature? Otters and sea lions are cute.  What's your favorite acoustic song? The acoustic version of Everlong by Foo Fighters.  Do you know anyone that's pregnant? Yes. Top bunk or bottom bunk? Bottom cause I wouldn’t be able to get up and down on my own.  What's your favorite Pok�mon? Jigglypuff.  What's your favorite font? Verdana and Tahoma.  What happens when a sword that can pierce anything tries to pierce a shield that cannot be pierced? Nothing? 

What's your favorite riddle? Why is a raven like a writing desk? Do you use the dish washer or prefer washing dishes by hand? We rinse them off before putting them in the dishwasher.  Have you ever been inside a castle? No. Do you know anyone who backwashes? DD: Everyone does. I don’t share drinks with anyone, so it’s not an issue for me.  What do you think happens after we pass? I believe in heaven and hell.  ^ Is it different from what you'd like to happen? No. How do you feel about people self-diagnosing themselves with disorders? I mean, you can research a disorder and identify with one, but you should see a doctor to be sure. You could end up thinking you have something that you don’t and possibly do something harmful or misdiagnose and have something go left untreated.  It can be helpful for you to research beforehand, though, so you can take your information to your doctor and think about what questions you may have. Also helpful to know what symptoms you may be experiencing.  Tell me a random fact. Around 430 this morning I ate a Reese’s. lol. Name one unusual habit that you have. I break apart my food when eating. Like, if I’m eating pizza I tear pieces off to eat instead of just biting it.  Did today treat you well? It’s only 6:11AM, but I’ve been up since like 4 so that sucks.  Do you enjoy calling out trolls/people who shouldn't be on the interbutts? No. What would you say if I said that I love you? Uh, you don’t even know me.  Let's get married either way? No.

"We need to return to Christian values" via /r/atheism

"We need to return to Christian values"

Whenever you hear people say this, you need to give them a list of values gleaned from the New Testament and ask "Is this what you mean?"

taken from:

http://www.kyroot.com/?page\_id=8454#1889

Conservative Christians in the United States and presumably elsewhere are continually exhorting society to return to Christian values, as if that is the gold standard by which we should all strive. Sometimes it makes you wonder if these people have ever read the Bible. Here is a sample of some of the ‘values’ that can be gleaned directly from the New Testament:

Do not worry about the future, or save money for retirement, but rather just live for the moment.

If someone steals from you, do not attempt to retrieve your property, but offer more to the thief.

Do not get married, that is, unless you cannot control your lust.

Do not waste time burying your parents, follow Jesus instead.

Disdain homosexuals, as they are an abomination.

Remove your eyes or hands if they cause you to sin.

Do not seek confirming evidence, use faith instead.

Do not allow women to have authority over men.

Do not marry a divorced woman.

Do not protect yourself if someone hits you, let them hit you again.

If you lose a lawsuit, give more than the settlement.

Beware of becoming wealthy, give it all to the poor.

Do not wash your hands before a meal.

If someone is sick, exorcise their demons.

Hate your family and follow Jesus.

Be innocent like children and do not seek worldly wisdom.

Violently disrupt commercial enterprises at church.

Do not mingle with non-believers.

Seek not peace, but rather take up a sword.

Simulate cannibalism by eating the flesh of Jesus and drinking his blood.

If you are a slave, mind your master.

If you are a wife, obey your husband, as he is the head of the family.

Do not use law courts for disputes.

Do not do physical exercise, focus on the spiritual body.

Women must keep their hair covered, and men must keep their hair short.

It can be argued without a whole lot of debate that each of these values or lessons from the New Testament are counter-productive, and that very few Christians follow any of them. So the exhortation for us to return to Christian values is nothing more than a vapid platitude.

Submitted May 23, 2023 at 03:02PM by pennylanebarbershop (From Reddit https://ift.tt/AzH4ebl)

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God of War II Cheats & Codes for PlayStation 2 (PS2) - download

💾 ►►► DOWNLOAD FILE 🔥🔥🔥 After you defeat Euryel and go up the stairs, you go back to the place were you meet the Barbarian. There are two chests a large chest, and a red orb chest. Open the large one, and it will say you have gained the urn of power. Then like a jackpot of orbs come out! You can only choose the Bonus Play option on the difficulty you've beaten the game on. They will be marked by a sword on the New Game screen. Athena - Complete on Titan mode. Hercules - Complete on Titan mode. Dark Odyssey - Complete on "God" mode. General Kratos - Collect 20 Cyclops eyes. God Armor doubles stats - Get a God ranking in Challenge mode. God of War costume - Complete on any difficulty level. Hydra Armor - Complete on any difficulty level. Click here for our full God of War II walkthrough! Instead of continuing and diving down, jump out of the water onto the area around it. There should be two screens which are breakable. Behind one of the screens are two topless women. 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Get the best gaming deals, reviews, product advice, competitions, unmissable gaming news and more! Other versions of this page are available with specific content for the following regions:. Total Film. PS2 Submitted by seth Urns of Power. PS2 Submitted by shoaib s Bonus Play. PS2 Submitted by root Unlock Costumes. Gaming deals, prizes and latest news. Contact me with news and offers from other Future brands. Receive email from us on behalf of our trusted partners or sponsors. You will receive a verification email shortly. There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again. Star Wars Villainous review: "Impressive Razer Barracuda Pro review: "A quality one-and-done headset solution for multi-platform use". Bullet Train review: "Brad Pitt starrer is a zippy, enjoyable ride". Nope review: "A thrilled 'Yup! The Gray Man review: "Hangs some ace action on a threadbare plot". Thor: Love and Thunder review: "Unashamedly absurd and wildly entertaining". 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