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racefortheironthrone · 1 year

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Why People Are Wrong About the Puritans of the English Civil War and New England

Oh well, if you all insist, I suppose I can write something.

(oh good, my subtle scheme is working...)

Introduction:

So the Puritans of the English Civil War is something I studied in graduate school and found endlessly fascinating in its rich cultural complexity, but it's also a subject that is popularly wildly misunderstood because it's caught in the jaws of a pair of distorted propagandistic images.

On the one hand, because the Puritans settled colonial New England, since the late 19th century they've been wrapped up with this nationalist narrative of American exceptionalism (that provides a handy excuse for schoolteachers to avoid talking about colonial Virginia and the centrality of slavery to the origins of the United States). If you went to public school in the United States, you're familiar with the old story: the United States was founded by a people fleeing religious persecution and seeking their freedom, who founded a society based on social contracts and the idea that in the New World they were building a city on a hill blah blah America is an exceptional and perfect country that's meant to be an example to the world, and in more conservative areas the whole idea that America was founded as an explicitly Christian country and society. Then on the other hand, you have (and this is the kind of thing that you see a lot of on Tumblr) what I call the Matt Damon-in-Good-Will-Hunting, "I just read Zinn's People's History of the United States in U.S History 101 and I'm home for my first Thanksgiving since I left for colleg and I'm going to share My Opinions with Uncle Burt" approach. In this version, everything in the above nationalist narrative is revealed as a hideous lie: the Puritans are the source of everything wrong with American society, a bunch of evangelical fanatics who came to New England because they wanted to build a theocracy where they could oppress all other religions and they're the reason that abortion-banning, homophobic and transphobic evangelical Christians are running the country, they were all dour killjoys who were all hopelessly sexually repressed freaks who hated women, and the Salem Witch Trials were a thing, right?

And if anyone spares a thought to examine the role that Puritans played in the English Civil War, it basically short-hands to Oliver Cromwell is history's greatest monster, and didn't they ban Christmas?

Here's the thing, though: as I hope I've gotten across in my posts about Jan Hus, John Knox, and John Calvin, the era of the Reformation and the Wars of Religion that convulsed the Early Modern period were a time of very big personalities who were complicated and not very easy for modern audiences to understand, because of the somewhat oblique way that Early Modern people interpreted and really believed in the cultural politics of religious symbolism. So what I want to do with this post is to bust a few myths and tease out some of the complications behind the actual history of the Puritans.

Did the Puritans Experience Religious Persecution?

Yes, but that wasn't the reason they came to New England, or at the very least the two periods were divided by some decades. To start at the beginning, Puritans were pretty much just straightforward Calvinists who wanted the Church of England to be a Calvinist Church. This was a fairly mainstream position within the Anglican Church, but the "hotter sort of Protestant" who started to organize into active groups during the reigns of Elizabeth and James I were particularly sensitive to religious symbolism they (like the Hussites) felt smacked of Catholicism and especially the idea of a hierarchy where clergy were a better class of person than the laity.

So for example, Puritans really first start to emerge during the Vestments Controversy in the reign of Edward VI where Bishop Hooper got very mad that Anglican priests were wearing the cope and surplice, which he thought were Catholic ritual garments that sought to enhance priestly status and that went against the simplicity of the early Christian Church. Likewise, during the run-up to the English Civil War, the Puritans were extremely sensitive to the installation of altar rails which separated the congregation from the altar - they considered this to be once again a veneration of the clergy, but also a symbolic affirmation of the Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation.

At the same time, they were not the only religious faction within the Anglican Church - and this is where the religious persecution thing kicks in, although it should be noted that this was a fairly brief but very emotionally intense period. Archbishop William Laud was a leading High Church Episcopalian who led a faction in the Church that would become known as Laudians, and he was just as intense about his religious views as the Puritans were about his. A favorite of Charles I and a first advocate of absolutist monarchy, Laud was appointed Archbishop of Canturbury in 1630 and acted quickly to impose religious uniformity of Laudian beliefs and practices - ultimately culminating in the disastrous decision to try imposing Episcopalianism on Scotland that set off the Bishop's Wars. The Puritans were a special target of Laud's wrath: in addition to ordering the clergy to do various things offensive to Puritans that he used as a shibboleth to root out clergy with Puritan sympathies and fire them from their positions in the Church, he established official religious censors who went after Puritan writers like William Prynne for seditious libel and tortured them for their criticisms of his actions, cropping their ears and branding them with the letters SL on their faces. Bringing together the powers of Church and State, Laud used the Court of Star Chamber (a royal criminal court with no system of due process) to go after anyone who he viewed as having Puritan sympathies, imposing sentences of judicial torture along the way.

It was here that the Puritans began to make their first connections to the growing democratic movement in England that was forming in opposition to Charles I, when John Liliburne the founder of the Levellers was targeted by Laud for importing religious texts that criticized Laudianism - Laud had him repeatedly flogged for challenging the constitutionality of the Star Chamber court, and "freeborn John" became a martyr-hero to the Puritans.

When the Long Parliament met in 1640, Puritans were elected in huge numbers, motivated as they were by a combination of resistance to the absolutist monarchism of Charles I and the religious policies of Archbishop Laud - who Parliament was able to impeach and imprison in the Tower of the London in 1641. This relatively brief period of official persecution that powerfully shaped the Puritan mindset was nevertheless disconnected from the phenomena of migration to New England - which had started a decade before Laud became Archbishop of Canterbury and continued decades after his impeachment.

The Puritans Just Wanted to Oppress Everyone Else's Religion:

This is the very short-hand Howard Zinn-esque critique we often see of the Puritan project in the discourse, and while there is a grain of truth to it - in the Massachusetts Bay Colony, the Congregational Church was the official state religion, no other church could be established without permission from the Congregational Church, all residents were required to pay taxes to support the Congregational Church, and only Puritans could vote. Moreover, there were several infamous incidents where the Puritan establishment put Anne Hutchinson on trial and banished her, expelled Roger Williams, and hanged Quakers.

Here's the thing, though: during the Early Modern period, every single side of every single religious conflict wanted to establish religious uniformity and oppress the heretics: the Catholics did it to the Protestants where they could mobilize the power of the Holy Roman Emperor against the Protestant Princes, the Protestants did it right back to the Catholics when Gustavus Adolphus' armies rolled through town, the Lutherans and the Catholics did it to the Calvinists, and everybody did it to the Anabaptists.

That New England was founded as a Calvinist colony is pretty unremarkable, in the final analysis. (By the by, both Hutchinson and Williams were devout if schismatic Puritans who were firmly of the belief that the Anglican Church was a false church.) What's more interesting is how quickly the whole religious project broke down and evolved into something completely different.

Essentially, New England became a bunch of little religious communes that were all tax-funded, which is even more the case because the Congregationalist Church was a "gathered church" where the full members of the Church (who were the only people allowed to vote on matters involving the church, and were the only ones who were allowed to be given baptism and Communion, which had all kinds of knock-on effects on important social practices like marriages and burials) and were made up of people who had experienced a conversion where they can gained an assurance of salvation that they were definitely of the Elect. You became a full member by publicly sharing your story of conversion (which had a certain cultural schema of steps that were supposed to be followed) and having the other full members accept it as genuine.

This is a system that works really well to bind together a bunch of people living in a commune in the wilderness into a tight-knit community, but it broke down almost immediately in the next generation, leading to a crisis called the Half-Way Covenant.

The problem was that the second generation of Puritans - all men and women who had been baptized and raised in the Congrgeationalist Church - weren't becoming converted. Either they never had the religious awakening that their parents had had, or their narratives weren't accepted as genuine by the first generation of commune members. This meant that they couldn't hold church office or vote, and more crucially it meant that they couldn't receive the sacrament or have their own children baptized.

This seemed to suggest that, within a generation, the Congregationalist Church would essentially define itself into non-existence and between the 1640s and 1650s leading ministers recommended that each congregation (which was supposed to decide on policy questions on a local basis, remember) adopt a policy whereby the children of baptized but unconverted members could be baptized as long as they did a ceremony where they affirmed the church covenant. This proved hugely controversial and ministers and laypeople alike started publishing pamphlets, and voting in opposing directions, and un-electing ministers who decided in the wrong direction, and ultimately it kind of broke the authority of the Congregationalist Church and led to its eventual dis-establishment.

The Puritans are the Reason America is So Evangelical:

This is another area where there's a grain of truth, but ultimately the real history is way more complicated.

Almost immediately from the founding of the colony, the Puritans begin to undergo mutation from their European counterparts - to begin with, while English Puritans were Calvinists and thus believed in a Presbyterian form of church government (indeed, a faction of Puritans during the English Civil War would attempt to impose a Presbyterian Church on England.), New England Puritans almost immediately adopted a congregationalist system where each town's faithful would sign a local religious constitution, elect their own ministers, and decide on local governance issues at town meetings.

This seemed to suggest that, within a generation, the Congregationalist Church would essentially define itself into non-existence and between the 1640s and 1650s leading ministers recommended that each congregation (which was supposed to decide on policy questions on a local basis, remember) adopt a policy whereby the children of baptized but unconverted members could be baptized as long as they did a ceremony where they affirmed the church covenant. This proved hugely controversial and ministers and laypeople alike started publishing pamphlets, and voting in opposing directions, and un-electing ministers who decided in the wrong direction, and accusing one another of being witches. (More on that in a bit.)

And then the Great Awakening - which to be fair, was a major evangelical effort by the Puritan Congregationalist Church, so it's not like there's no link between evangelical - which was supposed to promote Congregational piety ended up dividing the Church and pretty soon the Congregationalist Church is dis-established and it's safe to be a Quaker or even a Catholic on the streets of Boston.

But here's the thing - if we look at which denominations in the United States can draw a direct line from themselves to the Congregationalist Church of the Puritans, it's the modern Congregationalists who are entirely mainstream Protestants whose churches are pretty solidly liberal in their politics, the United Church of Christ which is extremely cultural liberal, and it's the Unitarian Universalists who are practically issued DSA memberships. (I say this with love as a fellow comrade.)

By contrast, modern evangelical Christianity (although there's a complicated distinction between evangelical and fundamentalist that I don't have time to get into) in the United States is made up of an entirely different set of denominations - here, we're talking Baptists, Pentacostalists, Methodists, non-denominational churches, and sometimes Presbyterians.

The Puritans Were Dour Killjoys Who Hated Sex:

This one owes a lot to Nathaniel Hawthorne's Scarlet Letter.

The reality is actually the opposite - for their time, the Puritans were a bunch of weird hippies. At a time when most major religious institutions tended to emphasize the sinful nature of sex and Catholicism in particular tended to emphasize the moral superiority of virginity, the Puritans stressed that sexual pleasure was a gift from God, that married couples had an obligation to not just have children but to get each other off, and both men and women could be taken to court and fined for failing to fulfill their maritial obligations.

The Puritans also didn't have much of a problem with pre-marital sex. As long as there was an absolute agreement that you were going to get married if and when someone ended up pregnant, Puritan elders were perfectly happy to let young people be young people. Indeed, despite the objection of Jonathan Edwards and others there was an (oddly similar to modern Scandinavian customs) old New England custom of "bundling," whereby a young couple would be put into bed together by their parents with a sack or bundle tied between them as a putative modesty shield, but where everyone involved knew that the young couple would remove the bundle as soon as the lights were turned out.

One of my favorite little social circumlocutions is that there was a custom of pretending that a child clearly born out of wedlock was actually just born prematurely to a bride who was clearly nine months along, leading to a rash of surprisingly large and healthy premature births being recorded in the diary of Puritan midwife Martha Ballard. Historians have even applied statistical modeling to show that about 30-40% of births in colonial America were pre-mature.

But what about non-sexual dourness? Well, here we have to understand that, while they were concerned about public morality, the Puritans were simultaneously very strict when it came to matters of religion and otherwise normal people who liked having fun. So if you go down the long list of things that Puritans banned that has landed them with a reputation as a bunch of killjoys, they usually hide some sort of religious motivation.

So for example, let's take the Puritan iconoclastic tendency to smash stained glass windows, whitewash church walls, and smash church organs during the English Civil War - all of these things have to do with a rejection of Catholicism, and in the case of church organs a belief that the only kind of music that should be allowed in church is the congregation singing psalms as an expression of social equality. At the same time, Puritans enjoyed art in a secular context and often had portraits of themselves made and paintings hung on their walls, and they owned musical instruments in their homes.

What about the wearing nothing but black clothing? See, in our time wearing nothing but black is considered rather staid (or Goth), but in the Early Modern period the dyes that were needed to produce pure black cloth were incredibly expensive - so wearing all black was a sign of status and wealth, hence why the Hapsburgs started emphasizing wearing all-black in the same period. However, your ordinary Puritan couldn't afford an all-black attire and would have worn quite colorful (but much cheaper) browns and blues and greens.

What about booze and gambling and sports and the theater and other sinful pursuits? Well, the Puritans were mostly ok with booze - every New England village had its tavern - but they did regulate how much they could serve, again because they were worried that drunkenness would lead to blasphemy. Likewise, the Puritans were mostly ok with gambling, and they didn't mind people playing sports - except that they went absolutely beserk about drinking, gambling, and sports if they happened on the Sabbath because the Puritans really cared about the Sabbath and Charles I had a habit of poking them about that issue. They were against the theater because of its association with prostitution and cross-dressing, though, I can't deny that. On the other hand, the Puritans were also morally opposed to bloodsports like bear-baiting, cock-fighting, and bare-knuckle boxing because of the violence it did to God's creatures, which I guess makes them some of the first animal rights activsts?

They Banned Christmas:

Again, this comes down to a religious thing, not a hatred of presents and trees - keep in mind that the whole presents-and-trees paradigm of Christmas didn't really exist until the 19th century and Dickens' Christmas Carol, so what we're really talking about here is a conflict over religious holidays - so what people were complaining about was not going to church an extra day in the year. I don't get it, personally.

See, the thing is that Puritans were known for being extremely close Bible readers, and one of the things that you discover almost immediately if you even cursorily read the New Testament is that Christ was clearly not born on December 25th. Which meant that the whole December 25th thing was a false religious holiday, which is why they banned it.

The Puritans Were Democrats:

One thing that I don't think Puritans get enough credit for is that, at a time when pretty much the whole of European society was some form of monarchist, the Puritans were some of the few people out there who really committed themselves to democratic principles.

As I've already said, this process starts when John Liliburne, an activist and pamphleteer who promoted the concept of universal human rights (what he called "freeborn rights"), took up the anti-Laudian cause and it continued through the mobilization of large numbers of Puritans to campaign for election to the Long Parliament.

There, not only did the Puritans vote to revenge themselves on their old enemy William Laud, but they also took part in a gradual process of Parliamentary radicalization, starting with the impeachment of Strafford as the architect of arbitrary rule, the passage of the Triennal Acts, the re-statement that non-Parliamentary taxation was illegal, the Grand Remonstrance, and the Militia Ordinance.

Then over the course of the war, Puritans served with distinction in the Parliamentary army, especially and disproportionately in the New Model Army where they beat the living hell out of the aristocratic armies of Charles I, while defying both the expectations and active interference of the House of Lords.

At this point, I should mention that during this period the Puritans divided into two main factions - Presbyterians, who developed a close political and religious alliance with the Scottish Covenanters who had secured the Presbyterian Church in Scotland during the Bishops' Wars and who were quite interested in extending an established Presbyterian Church; and Independents, who advocated local congregationalism (sound familiar) and opposed the concept of established churches.

Finally, we have the coming together of the Independents of the New Model Army and the Leveller movement - during the war, John Liliburne had served with bravery and distinction at Edgehill and Marston Moore, and personally capturing Tickhill Castle without firing a shot. His fellow Leveller Thomas Rainsborough proved a decisive cavalry commander at Naseby, Leicester, the Western Campaign, and Langport, a gifted siege commander at Bridgwater, Bristol, Berkeley Castle, Oxford, and Worcester. Thus, when it came time to hold the Putney Debates, the Independent/Leveller bloc had both credibility within the New Model Army and the only political program out there. Their proposal:

redistricting of Parliament on the basis of equal population; i.e one man, one vote.

the election of a Parliament every two years.

freedom of conscience.

equality under the law.

In the context of the 17th century, this was dangerously radical stuff and it prompted Cromwell and Fairfax into paroxyms of fear that the propertied were in danger of being swamped by democratic enthusiasm - leading to the imprisonment of Lilburne and the other Leveller leaders and ultimately the violent suppression of the Leveller rank-and-file.

As for Cromwell, well - even the Quakers produced Richard Nixon.

#history #puritans #calvinism #english civil war #oliver cromwell #the stupid meme about christmas #new england #protestantism

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50colonies · 1 year

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I sit here thankful to all the Hetalians

So hey guys, I really want to share how happy I am to see this fandom still so alive and vibrant! I've been pretty consistently involved with Hetalia since 2009 and there's been a lot of changes (some for the bad, but most for the good!). Sometimes I do miss the exciting early days of the fandom, waiting for livejournal updates and events from Himaruya's blog to be translated. Those are real core fan memories. But I'm still thrown aback by how fresh and creative all the new fanart, fanfics and headcanon content are. Not to mention the manga itself published regularly with new characters! Shout-out to @hetascanlations for years of service!

These days I've fallen off following the fandom for different interests and my personal life, yet I always come back to check up (and to simp for hws/aph america). Here I find there's a ton of new memes and concepts being explored about our favorite nations, and it makes me feel all happy and warm to know more people are enjoying hetalia like I have.

There was a stretch of time over the last few years where the fandom was really dead and its reputation was at rock bottom. However, I noticed the recent fall of Twitter brought a lot of fans back and even attracted new ones. I take this personally because this is my comfort show and I hope Hetalia makes you all as happy as it has made me these past 10+ years!!

#hetalia #hws #I've been emotional about this the past few days #this stupid show about nation people has been my crutch for years #I know it doesn't mean much to think about the old days but I feel like a fandom grandma #I will die the last fan remembering the kink meme and 2010 christmas event

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sexynetra · 5 months

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Happy Hanukkah to me (and any other Jews on my dash) if I have brought you any joy this year you should send me a photo (or multiple) of a queen I love, a queen you love, someone local you think I should know about, or any memory of an interaction we’ve had this year or something I posted you enjoyed :)

You have 8 days to do this and I will love you forever for it <333

#it’s holiday time baybeeeee #if I gotta cover my blog in Christmas shit because Marcia was on Christmas tour I deserve some Hanukkah rep #also? bonus points if you send me Hanukah Lewinsky she is the Hanukkah queen obvi #anyways I’m at work (cringe) when I should be lighting candles and celebrating!!!!#so I deserve photos of pretty queens and #and messages of love and friendship and memories #did you read rawnsyf? let me know!#did you like one of my many stupid memes about Anetra or Marcia? let me know!#did you find me due to my fan favorite post of Maddy and Kerri? I want to know!#anyways happy Hanukkah to me #and also to fellow Jews if you are Jewish shoutout to you you’re extra special to me now :)#drag race #rpdr #RuPaul’s drag race #drag queens #Hanukkah

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microfeelings · 8 months

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I'm the only bitch that cares about a timeline here

#reading comics #tmnt #tmnt mirage #tmnt comics #vicky watches tmnt #okay im ranting here in the tags because again. im the only bitch that cares about this #WHY DOES MICHELANGELO MICROSERIES HAPPEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SPACE WAR ARC??? SAME WITH DONNIES MICROSERIES #raphaels microseries made sense in the whole context. its right after splinter dissapears. theyre in aprils apartment #hell the issue even mentions this. its a direct continuation. so why the sudden jump in mikeys and donnies microseries?#also and most importantly: two christmas?? has it been TWO years that the turtles and splinter are living with april?#mikeys microseries is a christmas special. BUT THEN IN LEOS MICROSERIES ITS CHRISTMAS AGAIN #is it the same christmas? can i read it that way? I know the second time they face shredder theyre 19..#they start at 15. and in caseys farm I think its mentioned they spent a year..#oh shit.. i think the time adds up 🤔#also theres a lot of issues that arent even part of the story.. and I dont know how to count for them lmao #i feel like that stupid pepe silvia meme lmao #damn poor april had to deal with the turtles 2 whole years.. how many new furniture did she have to buy in the meantime

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cat3ch1sm · 4 months

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hihi! i saw ur requests were open and i was wondering if u could do killua and gon with a reader whos a silly, clumsy, and kinda dumb mf <3

except readers very powerful, on level or even more than them bc reader is a boss fr 🙏

this can be hcs or a oneshot or whatever u want!

(SORRY IF THIS MAKES NO SENSE LMFAO)

☘️~ DW POOKIE I UNDERSTOOD U PERFECTLY!! thanks 4 requestingg ily <33

gn!reader

𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐰 𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 <𝟑

୨⎯ 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 ⎯୧

killua usually doesn’t have a lot of patience for people with your personality , but he’s honestly seen what you’re actually capable of so he’s more like.. weirded out

as in like, killua knows you’re crazy powerful and generally super capable- so how the hell do you literally manage to trip over every minor obstacle in your path

but tbh gon has kinda warmed him up to those kinds of people. outside of battle situations it’s basically him making sure you and gon don’t get kidnapped or killed or something

and the contrast between your personality during battle and your personality on just a regular day chilling with him and gon is like insane to him. one minute you’re covered in blood and utilizing blazing nen in ways he didn’t even realize were possible, and next you’ve pulled up like a really stupid meme or picture of a cat on your phone and just giggling like an idiot while showing him (and very much still bloodied).

killua asked you about it once and you just kinda gave him that thousand yard stare and he was just like… nvm

apparently your higher functions just shut off after a certain time 😭😭

but back to the clumsy part. because it’s genuinely insane how careless you can be on a daily basis. worse than gon.

“watch out for the fucking pole, y/n!”

“are you even paying attention?”

“what the hell did you even just trip over, you dumbass? there’s nothing even there.”

“holy shit can you be careful for once??”

“I literally watched you take down 10 chimera ants without breaking a sweat and you can’t even pull a push door, you idiot?”

“no, i’m not letting go of your arm because that’s the tenth time you’ve tripped in the past fifteen minutes. you’ll probably kill yourself if i don’t hold your ass up.”

“way to go, dumbass, now you cut your leg. maybe you’ll be less stupid next time” (while begrudgingly fixing you up)

along with being clumsy you can be super absent-minded and get distracted easily. like gon and killua will just be walking and talking and then suddenly stop and realize you stopped like ten feet ago to stare at absolutely fucking nothing.

when they backtrack to get you they’ll be like “wtf are you staring at” and you’ll just snap out of a daze and they’ll realize you weren’t even staring at anything in particular, you just…zoned out😭😭😭

“y/n. y/n? hellooooo? ugh… nevermind.”

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐠𝐨𝐧 ࿐ྂ

we all know gon isn’t actually the silly, slightly air headed kid from the early days of hxh, obviously- but when he’s just with you and killua and there isn’t any danger, you both basically act the same way. believe me yall got killua stressinggg 😭😭

u guys just fuel each others’ silly antics. and while he isn’t as clumsy as you can be, when u guys are together you guys r genuinely a two man wrecking team. you guys are constantly doing silly and sometimes stupid stuff and not at all focusing.

far too many times you both have been walking or running beside each other and just stumbled over each other’s feet and fell to the ground like actual idiots.

you and gon both have the same tendency to get distracted easily. so basically the same scenario from killua’s hcs but you and gon lmfao

he’ll be walking looking at his phone or something and realize the both of you aren’t even beside him anymore.

“y/n? gon? where… you gotta be kidding me. guys. what the hell are you even looking at?!”

little Christmas head canon- you guys absolutely knocked down the tree at least twice.

#anime #hxh headcanons #hxh memes #hunter x hunter #gon x reader #reader x gon #gon freecss headcanons #gon freecss #killua zoldyck x you #reader x killua zoldyck #killua x you #reader x killua #killua zoldyck x reader #killua hc #killua headcanons #killua x reader #killua hxh #killugon #reader x gon free as

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traegorn · 5 months

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This long ask came in, and it's so ridiculous I'm going to have to chop it up and respond to it piece by piece.

Because it's that's fucking dumb.

I will, in fact, get pretty hostile in this -- because I've been getting a shit ton of this. So, before we start -- I am not a Christian. I am not fond of a lot of what's been done in the name of Christianity. This is not a defense of anything ever done in the name of the Christian Church.

But I am sick and tired of uninformed bullshit, and this ask is the latest in an unending pile of this nonsense I've gotten this week.

So buckle up, buttercup.

So time to brace myself for something stupid. Like reusing "monuments and temples" is like a textbook example of syncretism, but let's see what their examples are.

Stolen from who, buckaroo? Stolen from fucking who.

I'm pretty sure I've seen the unsourced meme all three of those claims come from, and literally there's no evidence. You're going to go into some Horus bullshit, aren't you? Written by someone who outright lied about actual Egyptian mythology.

You're just making shit up here -- like the twelve disciples? Say what you will, but those were, like, actual guys. Crucifixion was literally a common means of execution by the Romans. Why would they "steal" that when it was the way a lot of folks were executed.

Does your ass not possess an ounce of critical thinking skills?

I need you to fucking think about this for a few seconds.

If a tradition came into being in the last few hundred years, whomst the fuckst do you think came up with it? If the people who invented it were Christian... it was created by Christians. Like pull your god damned head out of your ass. "Gee, we don't have a lot of written records about what non-Christians did around the solstice -- but somehow centuries after the Christianization of Europe we're just going to somehow know about an ancient Pagan tradition and steal it! For reasons!"

There are pre-Christian traditions that have been incorporated through syncretism, but also... a living culture sometimes invents new shit. It happens.

"Elves and flying raindeer and a magic man who can come into your home are not the result of syncretism." Well some of those are the results of Department Stores and Capitalism, so you're like half-right on accident there.

Santa is actually a classic example of the fusion of multiple figures -- mostly Father Christmas and Saint Nicholas. Saint Nicholas was a a fucking actual guy who got stories made up about him and embellished through folklore. Father Christmas may have been adapted from a pre-Christian figure from the British Isles, but it's one we literally know nothing about if its true.

...and decorating the hearth... is literally syncretism. That's, again, like textbook. The church didn't tell people to do that. People just kept doing that in spite of the church.

You have a fundamental misunderstanding of how culture, history, and even religion work.

You overripe aubergine.

#witch #witchcraft #witchblr #pagan #christmas

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king-krisu · 4 months

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Kinda cringe to do this so late but I've finally had a moment of peace after christmas and I am ALSO feeling soppy and emotional so here goes:

I know every post in this fandom ever has said that this feels so one-of-a-kind and different from any space they've been in before, AND I'M GONNA SAY IT AGAIN! I have never thought of a tag on tumblr as a sort of weird little family where we all exchange ideas and works of art and memes, or ask questions like it's a community notice board. The friends I've made both here and on tiktok mean the world to me, and I'm so grateful we've created such a community here where people are easy to approach and to maybe get to know on a deeper level. Maybe it's the christmas cheer yay but even if we've sometimes disagreed on some stuff, I couldn't care less right now, I've never been part of a more wholesome community than this.

Käärijä, and Jere as a person, has made me so much more confident than ever before, and I've done things I never thought I could bcs of him. I'm so grateful for such a figure like him in our music scene right now, especially a male figure, who doesn't dismiss his queer/female fanbase and does whatever he wants. His message of kindness not only to other people but also to yourself has helped me SO MUCH over this year. I've never talked about this publicly but the night of the ESC finale when I heard people SCREAMING his name, and lyrics in my native language, I started sniffling like a baby from shock. I've never been particularly proud of my roots, but Käärijä has made being and speaking finnish cool, and none of us have ever seen anything like it here.

To all of you who learn our language, take the time to listen to other finnish music, watch finnish media and maybe even visit our country: thank you. We hope it's been fun and even if all of you move on to other esc artists in the next season of it, we are so grateful for this small moment of recognition. Genuinely, we're so happy people appreciate our culture on its own for once <3 we won't ever forget this.

I hope you've all enjoyed my stupid little translation videos/posts, and that they've been helpful/entertaining in any way lol. I'll admit that ever since I made deeper friendships here I haven't been as active, so if I ever miss an anon please just ask again and i'll get to it! I can't wait to meet some of you who are coming here next summer to see Jere, hopefully by then he's seen sense and hired me as an in-house interpretor for all you fäns from ader kantri. And even if you can't travel here or to any of his other shows: i love you all so much <3

#käärijä #jere pöyhönen #feeling SOPPY #tbh i feel the same about JO but the K tag is my home and bread and butter so #special post for y'all #V LONG POST LMAO SORRY

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pinknightsinmymind · 1 year

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if you feel like it, could you write more headcanons about ellie? not full fic or one shot, but thoughts about her. like, the types of kisses she gives you or the kind of girlfriend she is

【 ellie williams as a gf hc's 】

a/n: yes yes yes yes 100% i think about ellie way too much for my own good and it rots my brain. since i wrote so much it'll be below the cut lol

she loves to see you in her clothes in fact she even encourages it its just something about it that drives her crazy

she's protective of you and always wants to take care of you and make sure you don't do any of the dangerous or stupid shit she does

i feel like ppl forget how much of a dork she is; she'd tell you all about space and the different facts she's learned, she'd explain the plots of her favorite comics, who the characters are, which ones are her favorites, why she thinks one arc was better than the other, and so on and so forth

i think she loves to chat your ear off about any and everything

she's probably afraid she's annoying, so sometimes you might need to reassure her a little bit

in a modern au she's the type to send you funny memes or videos she finds, probably browses tiktok and twitter a lot

definitely the type to send you a photo of two animals being cute or cuddling together and say "us" because she's just a sap like that

composes songs about you and acts all shy when she shows them to you

DRAWS YOU

you're one of her favorite subjects to draw, and she loves showing you every new piece of you she has

she'd send you song recs ALL the time

listens to lots of indie and shoegaze

pls pls pls for the love of god ask her to teach you how to play guitar bc she'd be so excited to show you and spend the time with you

i think her love languages are quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation

forgets NOTHING

you know how dads do that thing where you tell them you liked something once and they never forget it? yeah she got that from joel it rubbed off on her

remembers what you wore on your first date, remembers your food orders, memorizes your favorite colors, bands, tv shows, movies, everything

so so caring and sweet

since one of her love languages are physical touch you can expect lots of affection from her

loves cuddling, holding your hand, having her arms around you, she just has to be touching you somehow

flirts a lot (but its not a bad thing) even after you two have started dating

loves kissing you all the time, and will make excuses for it

she needs her good morning kiss, her good night kiss, good luck kisses, goodbye kisses (even if she's only gonna be gone a few hours💀), one bc she missed you, a hello kiss, she will use ANY excuse just to kiss you

but sometimes she won't even bother creating one she'll ask to kiss you just bc

loves having sleep overs and nights in together where you can just cuddle and watch movies or play video games bc she's a huge introvert

the type who will do anything to make sure your comfort isn't disturbed

if you don't like the other side of the bed she switches with you, will let you sit in the last chair at an event (but not before asking if you'd just rather sit in her lap), helps guide you through anything making you scared or anxious

calls you pet names every five minutes. all of them.

love, babe, baby, babygirl, princess, darling, honey, whatever is your favorite she calls you the most

lives to spoil you; pays the bill, buys you gifts, drowns you in affection, you name it

celebrates your birthday like its a holiday

speaking of can you imagine her during the holiday season???

the two of you plan out a couple costume for halloween

the two of you are so cute together it's gross

you're always welcome to spend thanksgiving with her and joel

and christmas?? she gets even more sentimental than usual, and buys you an extremely meaningful gift

the most supporitve, soft, kind, humorous, and sweet gf imaginable just a dream come true

she feels like you really balance her out, and isn't afraid to tell you how much you mean to her or how much she loves you

she makes sure you feel loved and remember that you are loved

can't wait to move in with you and once you two do she feels like she's in heaven everyday

just loves you and cherishes you deeply

overall just THE gf you dream and pray for ugh this girl gets me in my feelings every time she's just so cute and sweet😭😭😭😭

#tlou2 #tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x you #tlou ellie #tlou x reader

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harry-sussex · 2 months

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I think the issue more than the simple editing is a) the inability to produce a non edited photo and b) blaming it on Catherine herself. Both of these things are only going to fuel conspiracies - I say this as someone who firmly believes that she is simply recovering from abdominal surgery. But it’s not a stretch to say KP have completely messed up the PR and invited the speculation and continue to do so by not setting it straight properly. So no the blurry steps won’t topple an institution, but the image of said institution as being dishonest and throwing its own Princess of wales under the bus sure doesn’t help

I honestly do not think it’s a big deal. The cheating bullshit has died down and resurfaces every few months with almost no traction. The photo is edited as is literally every single photo released by every single royal in the world. I remember Charlotte’s first Christmas, there was a bunch of discourse about her little shoe on the ground and the shadows associated with the way she was sitting on Kate’s lap. Is Kate a graphic designer? No. The insinuation that she meant something harmful by editing her photo more poorly than usual? That’s batshit, and that will die down. In a week, nobody sane is going to say “we can’t trust our next Queen because she photoshopped a sweater cuff.”

And the team very much did not throw Kate under the bus. The team NEVER would have never signed the statement “-C” without her knowing. They’d be fired so fast they wouldn’t know what hit them. Kate did that herself - like I said the other day, the apology came from Kate, not HRH The Princess of Wales. The conspiracies are nothing. The palace has already reiterated their original information about Kate’s return and the stupid shit will all but disappear once she’s back. Sure, it’ll come back up (the conspiracies and the photo) every once in a while, especially when she inevitably takes a long break in August and while the kids are in school, but after her recovery and return after Easter, this will all be a meme. It’s already a meme - two different people sent me a photoshopped pic of Kate the day after her wedding walking out of BP hand in hand with Pete Davidson. A few weeks of making fun of Kate online is not going to hurt her image. It will die down, as it always does with Kate.

I won’t even say that KP invited the speculation. They said Kate would be back after Easter and reiterated that remained the same after the speculation and #WhereIsKate really took off. There’s nothing left for them to do other than live stream Kate’s recovery and post-surgery treatment and have the doctors give a press conference from the throne room once a week. KP did what they could do. The answer is to let #WhereIsKate roll off their backs until she returns.

They can’t combat the internet. We saw this with Harry and Meghan - they can’t combat the stupid shit every time it arises. The logic we have been trying to apply to the Sussexes all this time holds in this current situation with Kate/KP. Address it once maximum and move on. You cannot stop people from talking, all you can do is move past it.

This is so unserious. It is not a big deal. It reflects mildly on Kate right now in the media and she cannot get out there to directly combat the conspiracy bullshit, but that will end in a few weeks and we’ll go to business as usual in a few weeks after that max. The media forgets quickly and the general population on internet forgets even faster. We’re the ones who will remember because we’re active watchers. We can all collectively come to the rational conclusion that this is not a big deal and will not affect Kate’s reputation long-term if we take ourselves out of our bubble and think about this broadly. Wait until she busts out a tiara or hugs a child or wears a beautiful gown or makes a cheeky comment to William - it’ll all go back to business as usual. Pretty princess who is good with kids. She’s far more than that, as we know, but that’s what the media presents her as, and that’s what it’ll go back to, and that’s what the general public will go back to as well, for the most part.

This has literally no effect on the institution or Kate long term. Currently? Yes, it’s a headline and the talk of the town. But if Kate’s image can weather topless photos, her husband’s alleged cheating, the Sussex bullshit, racism accusations, etc. then it can definitely handle #WhereIsKate and the photoshopped picture. Give it a month or two. It’ll all be water under the bridge.

It is so unserious it’s actually funny.

#ask #kate middleton #princess of wales #british royal family

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bokkiesplace · 3 months

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People I wanna know better tag meme

Tagged by the lovely @syrena-del-mar!

who already knows me very well and i'm punching the next time i see her

Last song?

i got a cd player for christmas so i'm currently just going through all my cds and happen to be listening to my one jonas brothers cd that i have that i got for free when i saw them back in 2019

Favorite color?

i've always preferred to nature related colors (except my purple girly phase). i constantly cycle between green, blue, and yellow and right now i've been obsessed with shades of blue.

Currently watching?

seriously watching: hospital playlist. i prefer watching shows in their original language so i'm watching the subbed version. because i can't multitask (except that time i helped my brother stuff gyoza while watching an episode) i have to sit and pay attention to watch. but i love medical dramas and the storylines, omg. i'm only on episode 5 but i'm in love

casual watching: one piece. i'm only watching the dubbed version because there are too many episodes and i can only sit still for so long. but i'm currently more than halfway through the impel down arc. and my boys buggy, ace, sanji, and zorro have my entire heart

Last movie?

streamed: bitconned on netflix. it was during my monthly true crime binge and i went through murder and decided to end it with good old fashion schemes to end the night

in theaters: i went with my brother to go see the beekeepr with my brother last week. it was the stupidest fucking movie istg. i'm so mad we wasted our gift cards on that. it was only $14 for tickets but still. he wanted to see it because it was stupid. i'm just mad they brought my boy josh hutcherson into that train wreck during his renaissance. jason statham, you are better than this.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory?

i like spicy food a lot. love it. had to learn to love it since my mom would just dump spice in everything without adjusting. but i prefer spicy and savory over sweet. i don't like things that are too sweet. i bake a lot but don't really eat much of it.

Relationship status?

pathetically single. i've been single the entire 24 years i've plagued this earth. not from a lack of trying. just nobody, that i know of for certain, has ever been interested in me.

Current obsessions?

hospital playlist and this goddamn fic that i spent like 6 hours talking to roo about. i bought a notebook for the fic and everything. going to seriously plot it out and everything.

Last thing you googled?

"did hook die at the end of peter pan"

i took a brief detour from writing chapter 15 of my current fic to do some research for my new pet project and landed here

Selfie or another pic you took?

2 for one special. here's a picture i took at the aquarium back in 2017 and the edited version of it that i did in college. it's my favorite picture that i've ever taken omg. i love jellyfish. they're so beautiful

Tagging: @amyyscorner @ashitshowforalot @kangaracharacha @tfshouldidohere @hyuuukais @puppysmileseungmin @itshannjisung @kai-lee08

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stusbunker · 3 months

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Spotless: Lilt

Chapter Eight

Featuring: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean/Bela

Other characters: Ash, Sam/Madison, Pamela, Lee, Kevin, Bobby, Frank, Tiny, Annie, and Dawn the bartender (Adam, Ellen and John/Kate mentioned)

Word Count: 2116

Warnings, etc: Mutual pining, mild drug use, minor jealous Dean, drinking, Dean gets a little existential and realizes he might have fucked up, unbeta'd

Series Masterlist

Divider courtesy of @cafekitsune

The haze of the control room wasn’t noticeable the longer they sat in the small room facing Pam, Lee and Sam getting down the new track Lee wrote through the glass. Dean bobbed his head, bong braced against his lap, as Ash hummed in appreciation, eyes closed and headphones on. Kevin had wandered off to a smaller studio to work out a solo they wanted to put into “Prophet and Loss”. After that and "Hand Me My Axe", which Lee was shredding on at the moment, they’d have a full thirteen for the album. They’d already recorded the bonus acoustic versions of “Brother’s Keeper” and “Baby” for the deluxe editions.

Thank fuck those were behind him, because Dean cried through both of those sessions and Sam would never let him live it down, despite the sasquatch also getting misty during his verses. The fact that Sam wrote his own part and Dean didn’t know what it was going to convey until they were in the box, well, that was just unfair. He blamed it on Sam’s singing, because dude was not a vocalist, but really it had been a lot to hear what Sam went through when Dean was busy self-destructing.

Whatever, Dean was in touch with his emotions now, who cared?

The finish line on this album was rapidly approaching and Dean was more stoked than he thought he’d be at doing something completely without Cas’ influence. Though he still heard Cas’ voice admonishing him sometimes, it had taken on a nostalgic tone the last couple of days. The music wasn’t the same without Cas, but it didn’t make it worse.

God, did he miss him though.

Dean cleared his throat and took a hit, letting the mixed emotions have their moment until he carefully blew them all away. Lee was on fire and it was such a mesmerizing thing to watch him play as an audience member and not a collaborator. Sometimes he forgot how good his band was objectively speaking. The music and the energy of performing took over and they meshed making something magical, but beyond that Lee was a fucking genius on six-to-twelve strings.

They spent another twenty minutes laying it down and then broke for lunch. Dean checked his phone as Kevin and Ash hauled in the bags of take out that had been delivered to the front desk. Frank only let the local Chinese place deliver directly to the building, so it had become a weekly ritual instead of them constantly having to go out and find themselves sustenance in the middle of recording. Though Dean was slowly getting sick of it.

He had a couple of messages in their brother group chat from Adam about Christmas. The poor kid was stuck playing the messenger because Kate couldn’t bother to call him or Sam herself. There was a meme from Bela, of all things, and a check in from Ellen. Nothing from you. He thumbed down to the band business chat to see if you had at least been active there, but there was nothing since the shot of Crowley’s flowers.

At first they had thrown Dean for a loop, or a mild case of envy. Because he thought they were from that stupid gym rat waiter that had been hitting on you when he was trying to get to know Bela. But once he realized what chat it was in, it all made sense. Even if the weight of the flowers’ significance was lost on most of the band.

Huh. Dean thumbed to your one-on-one conversation and sent out a simple “Everything going okay?” It was weird he hadn’t heard from you, especially after you bowed out of his home cooked, post-adoption-event dinner. He squinted, realizing he hadn’t talked to you in over a week, since the morning of Bela’s charity gig.

Since he’d gone down on your best friend in the back of a limo.

Christ, way to be an entire dumbass.

The energy in the studio rallied, laughter and teasing rebounding after a slow start to their final day. Kevin had somehow got everyone to gang up on Sam, who now had a collection of post-it notes both insulting him and begging for violence slapped across his back. Dean took a pull off the bottle Lee had handed him and smirked as they watched Pamela saunter over to where Sam was checking his phone.

She pinched Sam’s waist, which made him turn and back away from her, hands up in defense as she muttered some of her bullshit. Which left Sam’s back undefended.

“Oh, man, this is almost too easy,” Lee whispered.

“Tell me about it,” Dean agreed, chuckling as Kevin slipped another square of embarrassment onto Sam’s shoulder, butting into Sam and Pam’s conversation with a smoothness Dean had never expected out of the Juilliard graduate.

He handed the bottle back to Lee and pulled his guitar around and laid on a G chord, bringing everyone back to reality. “Alright, last song. Let’s fucking do it.”

The bass and drum parts were already locked in as far as Dean was concerned. Vocals finished yesterday. but hearing it all together made the music what it was. He wanted this one all at once, the final piece to the puzzle of this impossible album. Ash was at the controls, behind him was Bobby and Frank, who had shown up for the last leg of recording. Each nursing their own glass of stupidly expensive Scotch.

It was so close to done, Dean couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips as he stepped up to the mic that wasn’t even recording. And waited until Pamela counted them in. Every sensation zeroed into that moment, the strings beneath his finger tips, the weight of his guitar strap, the earpiece in his ear, the carpet beneath his boots and the pick in his right hand. He closed his eyes and felt it.

And when he hit his entrance, he unleashed, nailing the take with his band at his side, crossing the finish line together.

“Charrrrlie!” Dean purred into the phone. “Your presence is requested at that one dive bar you like so much past Silver Lake. We wrapped today and you owe me a few rounds, your highness!”

Sam shoved Dean playfully and reached past the backseat for a bottle of water out of the cooler. Nerd.

“Sam says hi. Oh! Pick up Trouble and bring her with you, will ya? She’s been radio silent all week. Anyways, this message is about to cut out. But I know where you live and I will—” Dean lost the race with the time limit. He pressed the button to accept the message, however truncated and hung up.

Sam wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand. “The other driver knows where to go?”

“Don’t worry, Tiny will get everybody there and back safe, won’t ya big guy?” Dean teased the unamused man that sometimes doubled as security for the label.

“We’re all set Mr. Winchester,” Tiny answered Sam with a glance in the rearview mirror.

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of an unimpressive neighborhood bar ten blocks east of anything that had gentrified. Not a bouncer or a pap in sight, thank fuck. Dean plunked his half finished beer into a cup holder and held the door open for Sam to get out, still giggling at the few remaining scraps of paper that had made it back onto his shirt after he found them when he unhooked his bass.

They met Lee, Kevin, Pam and Bobby at the other provided black SUV before heading inside. The bar was dark for a sunny December workday afternoon in southern California, but the stale beer smell and the sight of well worn pool tables felt like home more than any vegan, new age-y, upstart lounge ever did.

“Dibs on first game!” Dean called over his shoulder as he made his way to the bar to open a tab before Bobby could beat him to it. Wisely, Sam followed and plucked a menu out from a condiment tray, food was needed if they were gonna stay on their feet. Dean smiled at the bartender, a grizzled woman probably close to Annie’s age.

“Whatcha need sugar?” Her smokey greeting.

Dean instantly thought of Ellen back home and he knew they made the right call coming all the way out here. He dragged out his credit card and slid it over.

“Open a tab, food and drinks on this card for any of those assholes by the pool tables, all night. Got it? The guy in the trucker cap is gonna try and outrank me, but don’t let him, capische?”

“You got it, handsome. What’s your poison?”

Dean cooed, “Oooo, careful, it’s still early. I’ll start with some wings if you got ‘em and a couple of baskets of fries, gotta ease into it. Then a round of shots of your choosin’ and a couple of pitchers of beer if you’d be so kind.”

“You got it. I’ll bring ‘em out when they’re ready. Anything for you big fella? Or is he sharing?” She asked Sam.

“I’ll have the club sandwich, but yeah, I think that’s it for now,” Sam smiled without teeth, but tucked a twenty into the tip cup to start off on the right foot.

“Sounds good boys, it’ll be right out.”

Madison and Annie showed up together sometime after six, but as much as Dean liked giving Sammy shit for having a legitimate girlfriend and everything, they weren’t who Dean was watching the door for. Annie grabbed him for a tight hug, ruffling his hair as she pulled back.

“Feel good, don’t it?”

Dean grinned, almost blushing, but knowing she got it, not just the rush of finishing an album, but doing it as he was trying to drag himself up a hill too. “Couldn’t have done it without you, you know.”

Annie smacked her lips and turned on an aloof air, “I know. I mean, of all the many washed up power ballad divas out there, you got pretty lucky.”

“Shut up. Nobody is gonna call you washed up, not if I have anything to say about it.” Dean gestured the bartender over, who he learned was named Dawn, wanting to get Annie and Madison onto the massive bill they were racking up.

The night continued with the band and their significant others drinking and playing pool or pinball if you were Kevin. Dean was feeling pretty loose when Pam stagger-stepped over to him and threw her arm over his shoulder.

“This was a good call, miss those seedy dives we used to play in,” she said with a drunken kind of nostalgia in her voice.

“Hell, we wouldn’t exist without places like this,” Dean nodded in agreement, clinking his bottle of beer with the empty dangling shot glass in her hand.

She licked her lips. “Where’s your lady friend, hmmm? I wanna meet her already.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Tonight is just for the band. And, well, Madison. But last thing I need is to ruin poor Dawn’s night with a bunch of fucking piranhas in here chasing the right shot.”

“Still—- doubt she’d show if it meant living it up in the low places,” Pam snarked.

Dean cleared his throat. “Hey now. Don’t go judging a book by it’s cover. Bela’s tougher than she looks.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Pam huffed and slapped him on the back just as he tried to take a sip.

Dean glared.

Pam laughed. “Okay, boss, let me know when you’re ready for a rematch, I’m gonna go find the little girls’ room.”

“Don’t fall in!” Dean called after her, which earned him a middle finger and a nice view of her walking away in her low cut leather pants.

Yeah, Dean was feeling the alcohol among other things. He decided he had waited long enough and checked his phone again when suddenly somebody punched him in the arm.

“What’s up bitches?!” Charlie shrieked.

Dean’s entire mood lifted and he let her pull him off his stool into a big brother little sister hug. “Glad you could make it, red.”

“And, look, she lives!” Charlie stepped back and presented Trouble to him like a game show prize.

Dean swallowed. He felt lost looking into your eyes, searching for any hint of hurt or anger. Luckily, you weren’t drunk yet, so you slipped easily into his arms and gave him a hug of your own. “Hey.”

“Congratulations,” you said against his chest.

Dean squeezed tighter. “Thanks,” knowing he meant it more than he could ever say.

Tagging: @deans-spinster-witch

@mrswhozeewhatsis

@cosicas-cuquis

@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like

@suckitands33

@ladysparkles78

@deans-baby-momma

@stoneyggirl2

@sassy-pelican

@leigh70

@globetrotter28

@winharry

@lastactiontricia

@rockhoochie

Chapter Nine: Giocoso

#spotless series #dean winchester fanfiction #spn fanfic #slow burn #fake dating #rockstar au #dean/reader #friends to lovers

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ojirocardigansniper · 11 days

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Terra Ignota fucked up my whole brain (positive). I think it's either the deepest or most pretentious (more likely both) works of fiction I've ever encountered. Ada Palmer is my new god. These books are so gender and strange and interesting and horrifying and political.

My favourite genre is Scifi Where Your Favourite Character Is A Queer War Criminal (or other monster beyond comprehension) (Machineries of Empire, The Locked Tomb, etc). In this area, Terra Ignota is a holy book.

Canner and Sniper are my precious innocent friends who can do no* wrong.

*all

(I deeply love these books, I'm just very insane about them)

SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME. YOURE IN SUCH GOOD COMPANY. i first read too like the lightning in 2017, promptly shoveled seven surrenders in my mouth, got the will to battle for christmas, and then spent the next three-and-change years rereading them multiple times and collecting a small cadre of weird friends i could convince to attempt it. perhaps the stars permanently rewired my brain on first readthrough. terra ignota kinda one of the lenses through which i see most things cus it came to me at the right time. touchstone of my brain and heart. also MASSIVE UPS FOR MACHINERIES OF EMPIRE AND LOCKED TOMB ASWELL LETS GOOOOOO!!!!! also off the top of my head i'll point to ann leckie's imperial radch & related books, kameron hurley's stars are legion, seth dickinson's exordia which im reading rn, and on the fantasy side of the same trope we got seth dickinson's traitor baru cormorant, n.k. jemison's broken earth trilogy, fuckin, don't feel like going upstairs to remind myself of more but yeah. i slurp compellingly fucked up people with strong motivations/principles with a straw. And good god if you like those terra ignota has like fifty of them ! Yay! christ i love these books. if you want to marinate your brain in thoughts about them i have a "ti tags" tag which is a lot of stupid memes and also some very juicy thoughts..... things to rotate... i have been rotating it all for so many years in my mind

#chat #asks #terra ignota #ti tags

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tinybirbwrites · 1 year

Text

Guilty Pleasure (Dick Grayson/Reader)

Hello, hi. This started as a vent fic, then it became super silly and fun and longer than expected. No warnings except for some swearing, just silly fluff and crack. Reader is gender-neutral. Also I had Gotham Knights Dick in mind while writing, the game really grew on me lmao.

You often wondered whether Dick had a sixth sense for your mood. Each time you were upset about something, he would either somehow end up finding out about it, or unknowingly comfort you in some way.

Watched a sad movie while Dick was away? Look at your phone; Dick either just sent you a meme, pun, or a sweet little message to brighten your day. Unhappy about what you saw in the mirror? Just you wait; Dick always seemed to have a heartfelt compliment ready for you. Lonely? Worry not; Dick already made plans to come over and glue himself to you for several hours.

This time was no different. Just twenty minutes after you saw something hurtful on social media, Dick plopped down next to you on the couch and wrapped a casual arm around your shoulders.

“Hey, wanna watch a dumb movie together and cuddle?”

Hell yeah.

The movie did turn out to be super dumb—a crazy woman summoning the spirit of her dead killer husband into a fake christmas tree, who then goes on a murderous rampage as a christmas tree? Really? But it was exactly what you needed at that moment.

You were crying and laughing through the stupidity of it all, switching between actually paying attention because of what was happening or because Dick was actively commenting on it, and thinking back to the post you saw that upset you in the first place. Dick didn’t ask, but he kept giving you comforting squeezes and rubbed slow circles over your back the whole time.

As the credits started rolling and you finally got over how weird the movie was, Dick stroked a careful thumb over the tear-trails on your cheek. “Alright, well, now that we’ve gone through all five stages of grief together… You wanna tell me about it?”

You leaned back with a shaky exhale. “Well, you know how I like to read and write fanfiction?” At his nod, you continued, “Well, there’s a subgenre called ‘reader inserts.’ They’re… basically exactly what the title implies. They’re written with you as the main character, and most of the time it’s with a romantic plot point at the focus. It’s something I like to consume for comfort, because it feels nice to read about yourself meeting your favorite characters and interacting with them, doing things together that you’ll never be able to in real life, right? And there’s a lot of well written fics out there that I enjoy a lot, but of course, as with everything, there’s also not so good ones. And the tragic part is, the not so good ones are the only thing that other people who aren’t interested in this subgenre see and know about, so reader inserts get a pretty bad rep. And I get it, I’ve also seen the bad ones, and there’s… a lot of porn, too. I understand it can be frustrating to see when you really don’t want to, but shaming people for writing and reading it just… hurts, you know? It really hurts.”

Dick was silent for a while, frowning. “Sadly, there’ll always be people who get upset about things they don’t like or don’t understand. Some are mature about it, and some aren’t. I’m guessing you saw someone complaining?”

You sighed and nodded, tiredly rubbing a hand over your forehead. “Yeah.” You didn’t feel like elaborating on what the person said specifically, it would only upset you more. Maybe you’d sent a screenshot to Dick later, but right now you just wanted to forget about it.

Dick hummed. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It really sucks when you’ve gotta deal with people hating something you love and care about. And I know it’s easier said than done, but… don’t focus on that negativity. Focus on the good stuff. You’ve talked about getting a lot of positive feedback on your own writing before, yeah? Focus on that. People love what you write, and you love other people’s writing, that means there’s a community where you can all share what you love with each other, and that’s a beautiful thing. Some people just aren’t into the same stuff, they don’t get it, so sometimes they’ll complain about it to feel better. It’s hurtful, yeah, but remember that they’re not targeting you specifically. It’s their problem, the issues often lie within themselves. From what you said, it sounds like they’re just shitting on something they don’t wanna see because they don’t like or care about it. They’re not offering constructive criticism, so really, you don’t have to concern yourself with them. Try to distance yourself from their words, be proud of what you do and who you are. Okay?”

You mulled over his words for a moment, digesting them bit by bit, and eventually, you managed a smile. “Yeah, okay.” You turned your head and leaned closer to him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Thanks.”

When you looked at him, the expression on his face was almost shy. “You’re always welcome. I’m just glad I could help somehow.”

Days later, Dick came to you with an excited smile on his face, and you watched as he sat down and pulled out his phone. “So, since you told me about reader inserts, I’ve done some research to better understand what you meant. I wanted to know more about what you enjoy.”

Oh no. “Oh. Really?” you said, a lot calmer than you actually felt.

He grinned, unaware of your growing horror. “Yep! So, I wasn’t sure what to look for at first, but eventually I searched for reader inserts that included some of the media I personally enjoy. I found a few I actually liked a lot! But, uh, I get what you meant with there being a lot of porn.”

You hid your face in your hands with a chortle, feeling heat quickly traveling to your cheeks at the mental image of Dick reading smut fics out of pure curiosity to learn more about what you were passionate about. “Yeah…”

Suddenly, Dick brightened. “Also! You won’t believe it, but I found a lot of Nightwing reader inserts! Some got recommended to me because of my search history, and I got really curious, so—”

OH NO.

“I was so amazed at how many there are! Ah, of course, lots of porn too. Can’t really fault anyone for that, I mean, I know people love my butt, so it only makes sense. Still, feels kinda weird. I started reading a few because I just couldn’t help it, and isn’t it kind of funny? It’s like a story about me making out with myself! Anyway, I found a few really good ones, a lot of them were from the same author—”

Oh God, please, anything but this—

Dick scrolled through his phone for a moment, then turned it around to show you what he found. You felt your soul leave your body.

It was your very own profile picture that stared back at you.

It was your blog.

It was your writing.

Your Nightwing fanfics.

He went on, completely undeterred by your stunned silence. “I know it sounds kind of narcissistic of me to say, but you should totally give this person’s stuff a read! They’re really good! I felt weirdly immersed, reading about being in love with, well, myself. Pining after… myself. Never thought I’d feel so strongly about that, but here I am. There’s one story that I’m hoping will get a second part some day, actually. I’m thinking I should maybe leave a comment. You think it’d be too much to do that with my Nightwing account?”

Oh. Oh, thank God. Dick didn’t know it was you.

You subtly cleared your throat. “Uhm. Yeah, I think commenting as Nightwing would be a bit much.”

It was an older account—you actually hadn’t uploaded anything for a while now, but most of them were about Nightwing.

It had started off with the usual go-to scenarios of Nightwing saving reader while on patrol, something he’d actually done for you a few times now, which was what inspired you to scroll through the Nightwing x Reader tag in the first place. Then you decided you would give in and post some of your own for the public to see as well. Anonymously, of course. You’d never pin your actual name to that particular guilty pleasure of yours.

The more you wrote, the more you started to wonder about what if scenarios.

What if Dick Grayson was Nightwing? You’d noticed that they shared a lot of similarities; a love for puns, a charming smile, a kind heart, perfect hair, and, uhm… A nice body, too. You’d never written out this theory for the public eye, but in your head, you’d started imagining Dick being the one behind the mask, which fuelled your writing even more as you poured your feelings into them.

You knew it was kind of a No-No to write about actual, existing people. It wasn’t something you usually did, either, nor were you very proud of it. But you just couldn’t help it—you’d been pining after Dick and Nightwing separately for years now, venting about it in the form of self-indulgent writing, until you eventually figured out they were both one and the same person.

Of course you’d fallen head over heels in love with Dick, it was practically impossible not to; He had a stupidly big heart and a stupidly big butt. Finding out these two ridiculously attractive and caring people were actually one guy? That only served to intensify your feelings by, like, a hundred.

You hadn’t mentioned this realization to Dick, but it got more and more difficult not to as time went on. Until finally, one day, Dick confessed his vigilante identity to you, stating he trusted you and felt it was only fair if you knew. He felt bad about having to lie to you and keep making up excuses about his bruises and why he had to cancel plans every time something big happened that Nightwing had to take care of.

You were too scared to tell him about your feelings, especially after realizing you’d been writing reader insert fanfics about him all this time. It was one thing to just imagine Dick being Nightwing, but it was another to actually know it was him. You were lucky and very happy to even be friends with this amazing guy, and you weren’t about to ruin that by confessing your shameful sins to him.

You knew it was extra weird to write not only about an actual person, but about your friend. You’d never written any smut—that was something you just couldn’t let yourself do, it felt too wrong, even before you found out about Dick’s secret.

You knew he took all the sexually charged comments on his Nightwing persona in good stride. He actually seemed to glow from all the praise, even feeding into it by laying on the charm extra thick sometimes when on patrol, always insisting Nightwing should never wear a cape so his precious butt wouldn’t be covered up. You also knew that he himself as Richard Grayson was a very popular guy, handsome and charming, a “well dressed golden retriever,” as some people liked to describe him.

But you also knew that there was a line, and you felt like you were definitely crossing it by writing reader inserts about your best friend and crush. Though you did stop writing them after finding out about who Nightwing really was—it just felt too weird to keep posting more at that point.

Argh, who were you kidding? Either way, it was definitely still weird that you hadn’t immediately deleted your whole blog afterwards. It didn’t matter that Dick was currently unknowingly blowing up your phone with excited comments and likes on several of your Nightwing x Reader fics. You pulled it out and glanced at your screen as it lit up. Ah, he was also sending you all the links so you could read them for yourself.

Is this how Dick felt when people talked about Nightwing in front of him, not knowing it was him they were talking about? You certainly felt like you had a top secret persona now.

Despite your conflicted feelings on the matter and the rising shame in your chest, you couldn’t help but smile at Dick’s genuine enthusiasm. And his comments were all very nice, too.

Maybe… Maybe he would be okay with it, knowing it was you. Maybe he’d laugh about it. Maybe he’d even be flattered. You knew it would be impossible to keep this to yourself forever, especially since Dick was so easy to open up to. But not now. Definitely not now.

A few months later, Tim mentioned your username during a group conversation. In his defense, he probably thought it was common knowledge—you knew he wouldn’t reveal something as big as this on purpose if he thought it wasn’t a big deal. You were using the same username for several other accounts on other websites as well, all connected to your second email address, the one you hadn’t shared with Dick or the others, so you hadn’t actually expected them to ever look into it and find out.

How very foolish of you. You just hoped Tim hadn’t read any of your fanfics as well.

While you’d tried to appear calm and unaffected on the outside, you could feel yourself slowly dying on the inside, melting from the sheer amount of mortification you were experiencing.

You couldn’t look Dick in the eyes ever since.

While he hadn’t mentioned anything directly, you could tell the clogs inside his head had already turned enough for him to connect the dots. He knew. Fucking shit, he knew.

Several days went by. You kept casually sending messages to him, sharing memes and other every-day things like always, and he did the same. But you could tell he knew and wanted to say something, but didn’t because he could tell you were highly uncomfortable with him knowing.

He was nice like that. Goddammit.

And then, one evening, as you contemplated finally deleting your whole account and sending an official apology to Dick (you would definitely have to do that, you just didn’t know what to say and where to start), your phone lit up with a new message.

From Dick.

You stared at the notification for a long moment, dreading what you’d find once you opened it, until your eyes started to burn and you had to force yourself to take a few deep breaths and calm down.

Don’t jump to any conclusions now, you told yourself. Just open the damn message and see for yourself.

You procrastinated by going to the bathroom first. Then walked around the kitchen in search of something to eat, only to realize you were too anxious to actually eat anything.

So you took your damn phone and clicked on the damn notification, holding your damn breath as you read Dick’s messages.

(Dick) 21:32 : Hey, so, I had some ideas for a sequel regarding your last Nightwing story

(Dick) 21:33 : Hear me out

(Dick) 21:35 : What if Nightwing went over to reader’s place

(Dick) 21:35 : and then…

You waited for him to elaborate, maybe send a GIF or something else, but he wasn’t even online anymore. You frowned and started to type a hesitant, confused response, when there was a sudden knock on your living room window, making you flinch and shriek, almost dropping your phone in the process.

Looking up, you saw Dick in his Nightwing suit outside your window, grinning and waving at you.

You blinked at him for a moment, then quickly walked over to open the window. “Wha—”

“You haven’t posted in a long time,” Dick interrupted you with a smile. “I thought maybe I could help inspire you.”

“Ins— Inspire?” you repeated, stunned.

You stepped back a little when he started climbing through the window, taking in his appearance with a sense of awe. You’d seen him as Nightwing a few times now, but you never quite got used to it. He was a sight to behold—he always was, whether he was wearing the suit or just his regular clothes, but having Nightwing standing in front of you in your own home always felt a little unreal. It was so form fitting, showing off his muscles and curves, and the mask hiding parts of his face had its very own appeal that you could hardly put into words.

“I noticed a theme while going through your stories.” Dick’s voice pulled you out of your stupor, and you quickly shut your mouth, only now realizing you’d been gaping at him the whole time.

You cleared your throat. “A theme?”

“Yeah.” He stepped closer to you, slowly, as if he wanted to check whether you would move away or not. “Nightwing and reader never actually kiss in any of them.”

You thought your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Then you realized he was waiting for you to say something.

“Oh, uhm. Yeah. I, uh. I just felt kind of weird about that. At first I was just scared you’d maybe find out about my stories some day and be weirded out by them, but later on after you told me about being Nightwing, I also just— It felt wrong to write about kissing you because it felt… too personal? And then I just kinda stopped writing them entirely.”

“Mh-hmm,” he hummed understandingly, stepping even closer, close enough for you to smell his cologne and minty breath. “Not to force my own interpretations onto your writing or anything, but I think Nightwing would definitely be very much into kissing the reader. And seeing how strongly the reader feels about him, I’m guessing it’s something they would want, too?”

You gulped, then managed to croak out a weak, “Yeah.”

He smiled and leaned closer until the tip of his nose shortly brushed yours, pausing for a moment to give you the chance to pull away, then gently pressed his lips to yours. Your breathing hitched, an electrifying sensation running through your whole body, starting from the points where he was touching you. His hands were on your arms, slowly rubbing up and down while he moved his lips against yours just as slowly. Your muscles couldn’t decide whether to stay tense or relax and melt against him, so you did a weird combination of both.

Unsurprisingly, Dick was a very good kisser.

After a long moment, he eventually parted from you, leaning back a little to take in your reaction. You couldn’t help but let out a breathless little laugh, stunned by what just happened, and so very fucking happy.

Dick chuckled too, hands gently squeezing your upper arms as if he wanted to hug you. “Was that okay?”

“Absolutely,” you said, without hesitation. “I’m sure all the fics probably gave it away, but I have feelings for you. Strong ones.”

“Well, I didn’t want to make assumptions based on fiction alone,” Dick smiled. “But I’m glad, because I feel the same way. About you, I mean.”

Your chest warmed at that. Then you chuckled, an idea hitting you. “What, you don’t want me to write Dick Grayson x Nightwing fanfics next?”

He opened his mouth to retort with something sarcastic, but then his eyes widened. “Oh my God, that’s actually a really genius idea—”

You chortled and knocked your hand against his strong chest. “No, it really wouldn’t be. What if people connected the dots and found out because of it?”

He pouted. “Alright, fair point. But maybe you could write them just for me?” Aaand he was using his puppy eyes on you. Go figure.

“I’ll think about it,” you gave in. Only a few people were strong enough to withstand Dick Grayson’s charm, and you certainly weren’t one of them. “But, I gotta ask… Weren’t you super weirded out when you found out that I wrote all these stories? Didn’t it make you uncomfortable?”

If you ever found out that a friend of yours was writing romantic reader insert fanfics about you and publishing them… Well, you didn’t know what it would feel like, but it was definitely weird.

Dick chuckled and shook his head. “If it were someone else I knew, then maybe. But I know you—you’re one of my best friends. Knowing you wrote them, it just… doesn’t bother me at all, no. I understand why you wrote them, I understand why you published them, too. And why you stopped.” He shrugged. You felt a weight fall from your shoulders at his words, finally feeling yourself relax against him. “Anyway, did I manage to inspire you? You gonna write a kiss for part two?”

You snorted, then hummed, pretending to think for a moment. “I don’t know, I think I’ll need a bit more to really get the creativity flowing.”

Dick’s smile turned knowing. “I’d be more than happy to help.” And then he kissed you again, and it was even better than the first time.

#dick grayson x reader #nightwing x reader #reader insert #x reader #genderneutral reader

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star-anise · 2 years

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i see you have discovered history professor bret deveraux, my beloved. i highly recommend his battle of helm's deep and pelennor fields series if you want to learn about historical battlefield tactics (and operations and strategies) and his fremen mirage series if you want to learn about the facist view of history and why it's complete and utter bullshit. his series on sparta is also phenomenal

I'm having such a good time working through his back catalogue. AGreatDivorce on Youtube has recorded audio versions of many of his posts, which is a godsend for me.

The Fremen Mirage series was a balm to my soul after having to deal with SO many "military history buffs" and SFF reply guys who think that violence is the pinnacle of human achievement, and therefore acknowledging the personhood of anyone but the apex warriors is like, taking resources away from the war effort or something.

For the uninitiated, the "Fremen Mirage" is what Devereaux calls a "pop theory of history" that believes:

that a lack of wealth and sophistication leads to moral purity, which in turn leads to military prowess, which consequently produces a cycle of history wherein rich and decadent societies are forever being overthrown by poor, but hardy ‘Fremen’ who then become rich and decadent in their turn. Or, as the meme, originally coined by G. Michael Hopf puts it, “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And weak men create hard times.”

And then in his series he applies rigorous historical analysis to this idea, and takes it apart like Christmas wrapping. It's almost as fun as the Sparta series, where he demonstrates that Spartans would hate their modern fanboys, and also aren't actually as special or amazing as they're made out to be.

After a while, though, I got tired of the military side of things, and gone wandering. What I've found most refreshing this week were posts that take a step back from direct pop culture criticism and just simply lay out the material realities of life in the past. The really basic building blocks that help us get in tune with the daily life of the past. Stuff like the Lonely City series.

Or the clothing series! I said that I've been trying to figure out just how rare or common looms were, and while I've been looking at archeological evidence of loom types, he's just found the numbers that let me calculate it.

I'm using a base unit of 5 yards of cloth, which is, with a generous hand wiggle, enough to make one person's outfit, maybe two.

According to these estimates:

In the early middle ages, using a hand spindle and warp-weighted loom, that might take about 70 hours of weaving and, at a low estimate, 500 hours of spinning. If someone devoted eight hours a day to nothing but spinning yarn, it would take them over two months to have enough to weave with.

In the Late Middle Ages, with the invention of the spinning wheel and horizontal loom, that figure would go down to 180 hours of spinning and 30 hours of weaving. The change in technology reduces the time down to almost a third of what it was before!

This really settles for me the question I had about my early-medieval fantasy setting, which is that there would be a lot of looms, a loom in every household, and that it would not at all be out of place for even aristocratic women to spin and weave on a regular basis.

Which like, to be cranky about fantasy heroines who hate sewing: In that kind of world, embroidery is a luxury. Weavers and spinners have to bust their butts just to put clothes on everybody's backs. Spinning and weaving that much is gruelling work that I would absolutely understand hating. However, it is not stupid, silly, or useless. Being able to embroider—to do something primarily decorative and artistic, just because it looks good and feels nice—is likely to be more of an escape from drudgery than the drudgery itself.

It really can't be overstated, how much the Industrial Revolution was a textile revolution. Our relationship to cloth and clothing has transformed out of all recognition over the last 300 years. There are undeniable advantages to this, because it frees us to do so many other things with our time. But it also makes it tough to look back into the past clearly, because it's so easy to forget that the burdens we've shed still existed back then.

#medievalism #staranise original

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chaosandthe-deadblog · 9 months

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looking at this map rn trying to figure out what country is christmas island supposed to be from so i can make a stupid meme about it

#sol.txt #found it on reddit

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onebraincell-itmiebcraft · 24 days

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Okay time for the liveblogging of real life in order (liveblogging life SMP call that lifeblogging) I have never done this b4 be easy on me

Grian

I've already watched his perspective at like 5 in the morning but heyyyyy nothing wrong with rewatching with added non sleep deprived commentary but also not really memories of what I originally thought watching this too :^))

I remember being so stunned they called it real life and the anatomically correct heart 🫀tickled my funny bone heeheehoo hahaha

Thought when grian said replay 3rd life I thought they'd reenact it 😭

We live in a society taxes man (I could ramble about it)

GRIAN IRL FACE!!!

has anyone fell over btw?

No lie that B can BIG

Reminds me of slimecicle jshitt and traves VR Minecraft where Travis got progressively shorter what a laugh

Does Scott ever see his scream

Is it take the Mick or take the nick love that idiom

RENDOG!

Scar looks like a child doing that thing

Awww hug

ABUSE

scar take the headset off dzuh 🫀🫀🫀

Grian literally me balance issues

Yugioh????

I called it, scar would say he's American 😎

I'm eating dinner while watching this at the same time what fun w

Giran called solidaritygaming jimmy no way + he died first fr this time + loud "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Perfectly timed his mic peaking is iconic

Ha haa!

He ear him bread

Really putting the mine in craft for Minecraft

reminds me of secret life EP 4 and scar is sweaty

*scar noises*

How did scar drop his phone???

Check your wrist? More like check your a- (tom cardy référence)

I love the way VR makes you hit stuff goofy

Can you run in game if you irl

(watch him die)

Haha he died

Why Jim is he sabotaging him

Jim Jim Jim gym gym

Doesn't Jim die here oh LMFAO he does

Jimmy you are famous to me

(scout voice) Chicken

How did scar die???

I love how vr makes them expressive Jim pointing to village house is so funny

There's only one bed

Wtf is happening in top right corner in 9min 30 sec

Ayyyyy there's grian the maniac love the casual position of the arms

Last life you can join me moment

Egg

Grian gaslighting

Jimmy you wanna dance quote of the year

PvP is so silly

Skizz is fighting a losing battle Jim killed him icon

I love how grian and Jim's yells overlap there's probably something music theory there idk

Awww scar he's so funny

Go pick him up from daycare haha

Facing away from the camera we live in a society

OHHHHH impulse big smart man Jimmy's arm movements are so smooth it's solly

Jimmy immediately leaving for fish cocomelon brain I agree

Love the arm movements

Lol they actually like down

It's okay grian scuffed is worth celebrating

Has anyone layed on their side

Friend just texted me about my monologue what am I doing man I have an audition tomorrow

Anyway Minecraft vr

The lying down model inventory so goofy

Rewatching the bread scene no wonder tumblr loves it looks like Jim jam actually has a mouth 👄

Impulsesv guess the build sheep flashbacks

Best sleepover

Polyamorous tony (died)

Sleepover reminds me of crazy Christmas w/gem and pearl

Grown men learn how to close doors

Minecraft fatshaming grian smh my head

Man thought it was more than Joel there + o2 max(xing) scar love it (i use maxxing ironically) (it's such a stupid suffix to me linguistically funny) (I hate incels) (don't cancel me tumblr) (I love all genders)

Two steps: die, and die

Jimmy isn't on fire??

Casual "it burns so much!" Love it

Wait right Jim still has a wooden sword

Joel Joel Joel Joel you know that one part in waiting for Godot where they just go back and forth in saying aideu yeah

So silly

Jim saying get in British people man

"noffing" - joel is it a British thing

Love Joel screaming he's so malding

Just remembered how scary heights are in VR because I thought for a second "why don't they jump down? are they stupid?" (Meme Reference) (Didn't actually think that) ("Stupid" is kinda stupid but I digress)

Hole

Boob stroke

Does scar enjoy the swimming

Why *does* swimming cause motion sickness anyway

Why bucket scar (this is a bucket)

Brain eating amoeba

GOON SQUAD!!!

Love Grian's arm movements I really did thonk Jim was gonna win for the funnies

He says come here weirdly

The joy of killing

Is Jim punching

It's okay hiking simulation

Go Jim go what a gamer boy

I remember the triple dog door dugout is like... Gem's? Joel's? Uhhhh I fotgor

Concussion era

Fresh meat

I just love their dynamics

JIM STOP SOUNDING LIKE THAT it's like his eyes are 🥺 and his mouth is boowomp spongebob like he's got tears in eyes scrimblo sounding ass

Ohhh there's my favourite theatre kids

'orrible

Joel saying boys make me happy

Wait that can misinterpreted

Joel saying "boys" sounds pleasant to my ears

I remember watching this part and going GRIAN FIRST OUT HUH???

awww the funnies

Love the way gem says "we're the last Grians. Grians? Greens!" It's like... Spunky

Grian falling reminds me of my scuffed keyboard when it registers a button press as a hold and then I like never stop walking right *sigh*

The downward spiral by nine inch nials

Ascending is TRUE watcher lore

Oh the music is so cute

Bye scar! Bye Joel!

Okay never let me liveblog cook again i kinda listened to the vid instead of watching reading this does not make sense to anyone but me reference hell half formulated thoughts RIP BOZO HAHA

Maybe I'll like do it in 5 mins chunks for JJJJJJoel and the next ones onward I spent like an hour on this wayyyyy too long for incomplete sentences

End

#real life smp #real life #real life spoilers #rlsmp #grian #liveblogging #life series #life smp #trafficblr #what is wrong with me #rlsmp liveblogging

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