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kanmom51 · 8 months

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JK Radio Stationhead 1 October 2023

And a little more as well...

cr./and huge thanks to the translation accounts I used in this post.

I think this was the most interesting Stationhead we've had so far with JK. JK was chatty, informative (well, to an extent), I would maybe even say combative? Maybe that's a little too strong a term to use, but I do think he came to show that he is unbothered by the shitstorm going on and clap back just a little bit. And he knows about that shitstorm, make no mistake.

I see Jikookers falling for this hateful campaign against JK. Not only are they perpetuating it, but they are also adding to it, embellishing it, and spreading it.

By now JK has had several girlfriends named, he's a baby daddy (she was pregnant in Feb, so...), he's going on double dates with his mate Tae, trucking (censorship issues had me change that - you know exactly what it's meant to be) her with the windows and curtains open for all to see (after telling us he's aware he's being followed around including home). All this he managed to get done before he sat down and did hours on end of JM dedicated lives, calling him his fan, flirting with him online while in bed for all of us to see, and going on a 4 day private trip with him.

A very wise blogger once said: (@ourwinterspring, hope you don't mind me quoting your wise words):

Rumors are created by haters accepted by fools and spread by idiots

That. Just that!!!

People that called themselves Jikook supporters (I'm not talking about shippers, they are in this for their own self gratification, while supporters are supposed to be looking out for JM and JK and supporting them both individually and their relationship, which btw is still considered tabooed in their own country), they are rushing to conclusions, and aiding in the spread of these lies.

K-army laughed them off.

Chinese army are fighting them off.

And I army are just spreading them like wildfire.

Why this long winded introduction?

Because Jikook are in an impossible position really. They are a closeted queer couple in a country and industry that would not accept their relationship if it would become publicly known. As long as the door is open for deniability they are ok. Taking that step through that door and out of the closet, that is one hell of a step with many consequences, to them and to those who surround them.

JK is about to release his 1st solo album, and he's in the midst of trying to infiltrate the American and Western music market. To do so they are selling a very certain image, and being queer is not part of it.

They are also both before enlistment to the military.

Them going: "hey bitches, the stories are untrue, we're in a long term loving relationship", is not a realistic expectation. And no matter what JK would say otherwise, the rumours they are just gonna keep coming, cause this train, this coordinated smear attack, it's not finished. And if and when that would be done, we'd be back to Yubi and Rose and Lisa (oh, oops, she's with Freddie), and Miju. Ehm, she's married. But wait, since when has that stopped anyone, eh? It didn't stop the Nicole stories, which, btw, are still rampant, including among some Jikookers (?) - what the actual truck is wrong with people???

So, no Jikook announcement.

A company one? Kind of feel that one won't come either. Again, JK 3D promotions and upcoming album in mind. Not to mention, and this my friends is me being super cynical right now, other than the harassment claims, the company doesn't have a problem with these rumours, given it solidifies his bad boy, truckboy, heterosexual image they are selling right now. There, I said it.

But Jikook, JM and JK, they aren't happy with this. They can't be happy with this. As much as this image is a price to pay, on the way JK is sending us constant hints that it ain't all that you see. That he's a complex being. That he might appear one way in 3D, but another in Seven and another in his CK and Vogue photoshoots (the latter with him being the artistic designer and bringing along some outfits and/or accessories that he wanted himself), not to mention someone else all together in his long lives with us. He tells us this is him. Who we see. But those that only see that image in 3D are just not looking at the full picture he's painting.

This is him:

But also this:

And this:

They are all pieces of the puzzle that is one Mr. Jeon Jungkook. And I'm sure there are pieces we have yet to see.

It's funny that JK is singing 3D (basically having phone sex and wishing for more) but at the same time he's telling us "this is me in 3D". Not one dimensional. A complex grown up human being.

Btw, I kind of feel like I need to link this post again, seeing that so many are still thinking that having muscles, tattoos and piercings makes you heterosexual or at least bi. Cause, I mean, you must be sexually attracted to women if you are super masculine, and get tattoos or pierce your body, right?

Oh boy, this is a long one. I haven't even started with Stationhead, lol.

So, JK is trying to show us he's a complex human being. This is him. Not one MV or song he chose to sing. The full picture. The shoots he chooses, the concepts for his songs (do I have to remind of his Seven concept shoot?), his lives, what he shared with us (as in past tense cause Idk how much more he will with everything that's going on).

And in the midst of this, knowing you are in a committed relationship, having your integrity, your good name smeared, being with the person you love and knowing that the world not only doesn't see how dear you are to each other but also thinks you're being sexually intimate with multiple others. Not to mention, having to deal at this young age with the knowledge that there are people out there that hate you enough to want to hurt you on such a level, to ruin your good name, your career. It can be paralyzing. And they put on a brave face. JK says he knows people hate him and good for them, he'll continue to live his life. But it's hard, it's hurtful, and these two, they are the kindest sweetest people out there, they don't deserve this.

OMG, when will I finally get to the point?

I think about now would be a good time.

So, no speaking up. No announcement. But at the same time they don't want to just sit there and take it.

Phew, here we go?

JK came today, 1st October (or more so 1st Jimtober) to Stationhead after his 3D dance practice video landed (same day).

And by some strange coincidence (no coincidence at all), JM released his second #ThisisJimin dance clip to Dominic Fike's Phone Numbers with these lyrics, coincidentally:

Woah, Kenny! Why you not here with me? Can you break bread with me? Why you switch phone numbers like clothes? Why you can't answer me? (Yeah) 'Cause I got more coming

(Not a love song)

Using a prop. Wait for it...

Oh, and the outfits that happen to be kind of similar and sticking to the black and white.

I feel like I'm repeating myself here, but you know, sometimes you need to in order to hammer the message in.

And JK, well he also posted a selfie on Weverse (while on Stationhead).

1st Jimtober with his fave Jack Skellington.

So yeah. The little things. Those little codes that say "we are here, we are ok, all is well, this will definitely not break us."

Yes. I get all of that from those little things, lol.

But, it didn't end with that.

And here we are.

Finally at the precipice.

Well, not precipice per say. That's being a little dramatic. But I am finally going to get to JK on Stationhead, as in what we got from him during the show.

I guess with this long introduction I should start with the Jikook related, right?

Let's start with JK repeating the endearment JM used in his IG post for 3D.

And then JK basically confirmed that he and JM were together when drawing the cloud whale drawing JM shared with us on IG telling us JK drew it.

Making sure we know that they drew the whale together.

You don't have to understand Korean to hear the amusement in his voice. We don't know when this was taken (CT or perhaps more recently... although my initial thought was CT I'm kind of leaning to it being more recent, like very recent), but we know they were together. We thought so and now JK confirmed it.

Enjoyed confirming it.

He also brought up JM's birthday being this month. Yes, he could be reacting to comments, but we've discussed this multiple times in the past. You know. Choices. And in this case, his choice which ones to answer, right?

Once again, it's all in the way it's all being said. The "I know something you don't" tone of voice. The "a-ha, yeah, Uhah" while supposedly looking up if he's doing something on the day. The "I'm going to be busy...I see I have a schedule..?" ending with a question mark? As in "do I really?" Lol.

The way he was talking, the man has something planned. I really don't want to have any expectations here. But man, he's making it hard for me not to have them. Lmao.

And another JM related comment he chooses to answer:

This time you don't get the sassiness or teasing in his voice like we did with the JM birthday answer. Idk why they aren't doing each other's challenges. It's for them to know. We know JK was showing/teaching JM Seven moves. We know that JK knew SMF pt. 2 moves. I guess it's something they just decided between them. Or perhaps schedules didn't and aren't aligning. Who knows. And who knows, we might just get a surprise. Next phone song JM does could be 3D, lol.

Ok, so he saw his parents. He goes on to also talk about his mother's cooking (oh, that man is so in trouble with his mom calling her cooking bland, lmao). Kind of gathering from it all that JK was in Busan for the holiday. Could that photo JM shared, you know, the one JK made sure we know they both drew the whale on, have been taken when they were both down in Busan for the holiday? I wonder...

This here is, I feel, JK clapping back a little at the haters. But also telling us, once again, that he's an adult and does adult things. Knows how to work hard when needed, and when to "play hard", as in relax and have a good time, when allowed.

This one isn't about Jikook (well in a sense maybe it is, as it's about shooting down TKKs hopes and prayers, lol). JK clarifying Tae's story about him recording a song at JK's place and JK directing him.

So, no pre-planning, JK's reply "and I was like "suddenly"? And also letting us know Tae didn't record the final at his place. Burn, lol. Also answers (again - like in the Inkigayo live) a question about karaoke with Tae. More or less same answer. More or less "that's a no"?

And this I already shared with you guys:

This is basically JK. Again, when he says I'm showing you my true self. It's not the image of the hunky guy with the sexy expressions doing that sexy choreography with the female dancers hands on him. Well not only. It's the shy introvert that feels awkward when these women are touching him. And just to be clear here. This isn't me saying anything about his sexuality. But it's definitley me saying he is not this careless truckboy people are so badly wanting him to be. Being an adult and having sex (let's call it rex from now on), a lot of it, enjoying it, doesn't make it the core of who you are as a person, doesn't mean you are having rex with multiple people for the only pursual of physical gratification nor does it mean that the rex you are having is necessarily with a female even if you are singing a song saying girl in it, to which the lyrics were not written by yourself. JK also sang a song about having rex 7 days a week, but with that one person, in his words, wanting to be all the time with "the love of my life". See, that was a little slip of the tongue by him, lol. But very revealing. Thank you ever so much for that one JK.

Do you understand the difference here?

One being lyrics to a song he's performing, him being a singer. Lyrics he didn't write himself.

The other is his explanation, his take on the meaning of the song he is singing (also not written by him). Inserting that little very personal touch.

Do we get it? JK isn't the lyrics, the lyrics aren't JK.

Oh, and by the by, JK's lyrics aren't referencing multiple partners. If we are being all about "but he's singing it, so it must be who he is". The multiple partners, the truckboy image, that's Jack Harlow's bit. JK is still talking to one person.

But again, I stress, the song doesn't represent JK as a person or his character. And those that are making that leap are simply...

Moving on.

JK's asked which he prefers more? 7 or 3D. Very diplomatically makes sure we know that at the time he liked Seven and now it's leaning more towards 3D. Well duh, this is him promoting it. Then he combines the two to 7D.

"What's your favourite part of 3D?" Him asking the listeners.

JK talked about eating chicken, being busy practicing all the time (I am curious to know what for), finishing up and going home to workout, shower and sleep.

He also talked about GCF and his appreciation for Army.

Asked about music or variety show, and the answer is probably not, it's hard for him (this is where the shy introvert part of him wins, I guess). It's easier to be alone on a stage in front of thousands performing than have to interact one on one with people that you aren't as familiar or comfortable with. On stage you go after much practice. Small talk and interviews and socializing means having to be focused (neuro divergent prince here) and it's so so hard for a shy introvert to deal with. Key word ALONE.

Although he's asked about further plans he's adamant not to give spoilers (well, more so afraid he'll be told off by the company, lol).

He misses the old days I guess. Of Kakao Fancafe. The intimacy of it. The safety of it perhaps.

He also wants to cook for army.

I feel like him telling us he is pulling back on the lives, allowing for the mystery, well he's also missing those lives. He needs that connection with his fans. Maybe even more so with this path he's going down, disconnecting from the idol and becoming the mega star. He needs that emotional connection with his fans. But at the same time, a more intimate setting, where he can really connect with them, is something he prefers.

And again, the connection with Army.

About the members:

F u c k , this is getting way too long. I can't talk about it all. I will add a couple more things and leave it at that. My apologies.

So, this is another clap back from JK:

Oh, and this was curious.

Ooh, one last thing.

He finally tells us where he got the scar on his shoulder from. Well, not too glamorous, lol. He slipped and fell while running in the car park shooting the CK ad. Hurt his finger as well, but that has healed already by now.

JK ending with:

Funny how the little things just added up. All very little perhaps inconsequential actions as of themselves, but add them together and you get a message.

One you will see if only you wish to.

Oh, and end comment. This is utterly disgusting and childish and I'm at a total loss for words here.

We have 2 more of these coming, if I'm not mistaken. Will be interesting to see what we get next.

#Jungkook #JK #JK 3D #JK stationhead #Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jimin #JM

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absolutebl · 11 months

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Hi.

I was watching TharnType for the first time. I started wondering why people have issues with gay for you and wifey and other things like that. From what I'm seeing it isn't intended in a harmful spirit. It's not received badly in the show in context. I'm not just specifically talking about TharnType but just these tropes in general. I was wondering if someone, the writer/screenwriter, director, any actor or someone else said that they'd intended it as demeaning or in a bad way... I don't know if I phrased that correctly. But I guess I'm wondering what people are basing this on. Even UWMA's Pharm's entire demeanor. Before I watched it I'd read that he is too feminine and damsel in distress-y. But watching the show made me realize that he is traumatized. I noticed similar patterns with other shows as well. Is it audience interpretations?

BL Is a Mess of Really Damaging Stuff & You Probably Shouldn't Just Accept it

Because, if you do just accept it without thought, you're also being damaged. If you're gay, you're being taught a type of gayness that doesn't exist and will fuck up your expectations. If you're straight you're misinterpreting what an entire group of people are like (that's prejudice, FYI). And if you're somewhere in between you're learning really bad behavior patterns for your coming out and self actualization journey.

And no, I don't think you're capable of distinguishing fiction from reality, because you've just asked a question that patently demonstrates a burgeoning parasocial tendency. (And yes, parasocial relationships can and do form with fictional characters. Why do you think I am so terrified by KinnPorsche fandom and shipper culture?)

Here have some education, first one is free:

Imaginary Friends & Real-World Consequences: Parasocial Relationships (YouTube video)

But also, if you don't want me to rant about this, and you just wanted to justify your questionable taste, you should stop reading right now. I get it, denial is great! Go sail that river.

Here I am talking about the good BL can do. That doesn't mean I'm blind to its flaws.

Still reading?

Okay, well, now you asked for it.

And guess what, I'm not gonna sugar lube coat it.

Consider yourself Drunk Type lying in a bed and I'm Tharn's c*** shoving some dry BL reality into your a******.

Oh, don't like that image, do you?

Tough nuts.

Put yourself in my position. I don't wanna have to do this either.

Consider this a "BL narratives made me do it" post.

I'm not responsible for anything, I'm just an archetype.

I'll be your seme for today and you were all just "too cute" for me to resist and now you have to take some tumblr dub con...

But first:

Seme uke when it specifically conflates seme with "the man" and uke with "the girl" is old fashioned, anti-feminist, and anti-queer. Here's some of where I talk about it, but I talk about it a lot. Too much, some might say.

Pharm is a blushing maiden archetype character, I talk about it and what that means here:

It's sex negative. And a lot of it stems from internalized misogyny and ties to something called benevolent sexism. It's pretty rampant in BL.

Yes I think Pharm's behavior can be perceived as traumatized, but that trauma is brought about by In's past actions and the fact that In was punished (BY THE NARRATIVE) not just for being gay but for being a self-actualized pro-sex uke character.

There is a distinction being made between critical discourse over narrative versus how the characters behavior makes an audience feel (within the immersive experience of the drama). Some viewers care about this distinction, others do not.

I very much get why someone might like TharnType (I did) but actually also, you might want to think about why you like it despite the messages the narrative is sending... You might want to think about not just the characters in their little perfect romance world together, but consider if you were in the position of either of those characters how you would feel or behave.

And NOW the Dub Con Portion of tonight's BL party

Okay I was trying to be my usual semiseme-welcoming snark self but ya know what, let's be VERY FUCKING CLEAR HERE because I am jet lagged and tetchy....

We (the collective of BL critics here on tumblr) aren't always talking about WHAT is depicted so much as HOW it's depicted, and whether that HOW allows the WHAT to skate by without encouraging the audience to reflect on the damage the WHAT does to their own perception of what is romantic. Or what is queer. Or what is morally acceptable for decent human interaction.

Like thinking, for example, that it's okay for Tharn to RAPE Type while he is drunk.

Why on earth is that okay? It's NOT OKAY. It's just NOT!!!!

Did Type ask for it?

Did he dress too sexy?

Was his skirt too short?

Was he too much of a jerk?

Did he want it anyway?

Did he not protest enough?

Did he protest too much?

You gonna make that call for him, are you? You read his mind (apparently the way Tharn can?)

But SERIOUSLY.

What if you were actually in Type's position? Roommates with someone you didn't like who molested you when you were drunk. At home. In your own bed. What if that roommate didn't look like Tharn? What if your roommate were the wrong gender or body type or age or familial relationship (!) for your preferences? How would you actually feel?

Because if you're okay with this, really okay for yourself, you have a strong kink and you need to seek out the appropriate community or you are signing up for a very abusive relationship and likely an early death.

Can't put yourself in Type's shoes/bed?

How about Tharn?

Are you the kind of human who would molest a drunk person just because you desired him? Her?

Because they're homophobic and you want to punish them with your queerness?

Because they were a jerk to you?

You always get back at people by raping them?

You an old white dude putting your hand down secretary's shirts because they're just "too cute to resist"?

Why should you have to resist taking what you want? Who cares that there is a whole other human involved?

Grabbing ladies by the pussy any chance you get and bragging about it, are ya? Or is it somehow different or less damaging because TT is dude on dude?

So, are you gonna justify taking what you want and violating another person because they're the same sex?

Now who's being "gay for you"? This is going all the way into DL closet case "it doesn't count if it's with a man" territory.

Because if you are any of the above 8, please block me right tf now. (And... do I have a world leader to recommend for YOU to get into a car with.)

GAH!

Fucking TharnType.

Anygay...

I talk about dub con here:

My initial post about TharnType is here, but more recently here's us having a whole ThanType discourse unpacking Mame among other things as part of the BL movement both as a genre and as a fandom:

and here's an important article on rape culture in Thailand

Gay for you talked about here:

Wife language talked about here:

I'm gonna go watch some BL trash that, hopefully, doesn't have any rape in it. (You never know tho...)

Fuck me (consensually) I am so tired.

I'd drink but I did too much of that already this week.

Maybe I need to eat something.

Don't troll m,e just block me.

For heaven's sake please.

(source)

#ABL goes on a rant #sorry not sorry #could we please stop having this conversion #just try putting yourself into these characters shoes #for me?#also ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHH #thai bl #rape culture and misogyny and benevolent sexism and ....#I don't wanna think about this anymore so I'm not entertaining anymore asks on these subjects I'm just pointing people at this rant FOREVER #I watch BL to forget about this stuff

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aw-tysm · 9 months

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A good thing to remember is that Autism traits are still technically just human traits. They get flagged for Autism due to the amount of symptoms we have, the frequency in which we experience them and the severity in which they present.

One of the defining things of Autism is that it must cause 'clinically significant impairements' in order to be diagnosed.

Yes, we all know that there are many, many disorders/illnesses that can mimic Autism symptoms or overlap with Autism symptoms. We also know that these things tend to happen for different reasons and sometimes it can be hard to tell what's what.

But this about every day things.

A lot of humans will have some kind of routines or rituals in their lives. A lot of people thrive on these things. And yes, they can be upset or uncomfortable when it changes.

A lot of humans stim. We do this for self-soothing, self-regulation and concentration reasons. Typical ones include hair swirling, pen clicking, finger tapping, leg shaking, rocking or swinging on chairs, fidgeting with objects, pacing, biting your gums, etc..

Although some humans don't tend to admit it, most of us do better with direct communication anyways.

Children tend to want to use specific items like specific plates, cups, bowls, spoons, etc.. A lot of them also want things to be a certain color. They even have outfits they prefer to wear and never want to take off. And yes, they can and will get very upset if these things aren't met. These things can be Autism related but are often just children things.

Majority of people have sensory issues of some kind. They don't like specific sounds like chewing or markers. They may not like sudden loud noises. Certain smells may make them cringe. They may hate certain textures from materials to foods. Yes, they can also have strong reactions to these things.

This isn't to say that these aren't Autism things. They can absolutely be Autism things. They can also be ND things. BUT...They can also just be normal human things.

I think it's important to remember that we must be critical of what we see and learn. Especially with misinformation being rampant. It's easy to see a video/text/image of someone saying "this is an Autism thing" and you relate to it, but a lot of them can just be normal human things too or related to other disorders/illnesses.

#autism #actually autistic #autistic #actuallyautistic #i hope i explained this the way i wanted to #kinda like everyone can experience anxiety at some point in their life but it doesn't mean they have an anxiety disorder

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camasada · 1 year

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Loved, Beautifully

A Self-Insert König One-Shot

You’ve been feeling insecure all day. König notices something is up and he’s determined to make you feel better.

All fluff, sfw. Gender neutral reader, but is referred to as beautiful and pretty.

TW: anxiety, body image issues, panic attack symptoms

WC: 1.6k

I didn’t think I would ever write anything, but I was feeling some type of way so I hope this is good.

You were sitting on the couch, staring at the patterns in the carpet when König’s hulking frame stalks his way over to you. The quiet shuffling of his feet on that carpet is timid, yet the sound of his steps combined with his tall shadow cast from the setting sun through the windows brings you out of your daze.

You slowly look up at him, smiling half-heartedly. His head is tilted further down, like his eyes are trying to hide behind his eyelashes as he looks at you.

“Mein liebe, what’s wrong?”

You were caught off guard by his question. Your eyebrows furrowed together slightly.

You couldn’t remember what you were just thinking about moments before he interrupted you. Your mind was a still haze of the blue and green swirls that decorated that carpet in front of you. As you looked into his eyes, you saw the same blue patterns.

“What?” you said. Your ears were slightly ringing.

He wrings his hands together, looking down at them while he shuffles closer to you.

“What’s wrong?” he says softly as he reaches the couch and sits down beside you, raising his head to look in your eyes for a brief second before they shift back down. His knee knocks against yours and you look down at the carpet.

That blue and green pattern brings you to remember what started your loss of focus in the first place: self-doubt. You had always tried to hide your anxiety about your insecurities since getting together with König not too long ago, knowing from the first meeting with him how much anxiety he had around people. You were often too considerate to a fault like that; at least in your mind, it was being considerate. You wanted to be the one to help, not to be helped, however, König always knew how to take care of himself.

He has anxiety and he’s doing great. In fact, he was the one to ask you out first. He could handle himself,

and

you

couldn’t.

You let your anxiety run rampant through your head today. It was a spiral of hating your face, hating your vanity over wanting to be more attractive, and hating yourself feeling this way. Your lungs tightened in your chest as you let out a shallow breath. You could hear your heart pounding in your ears.

König put his hand on your knee, shaking it.

You looked up at him with slightly widened eyes. He was staring back at you much the same way.

Your mouth opened to take in a breath as tears threatened to break past your eyelids. König recognized your fear and placed his hands on either side of your face to bring his face closer to yours, you saw that clear blue staring straight at you, darting quickly between each of your eyes.

He looks incredibly regretful as he stumbles out a “My god I am so sorry. I am SO sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. Oh my god, please. I am so sorry…”

You close your eyes tightly and turn your head away from his, putting your hands up to your face while leaning down, trying to bury yourself between your knees.

You never wanted him to see you like this.

You feel even worse because he’s got tears running down his face now as well. He believes this is his fault.

“No-“ you choke out through a sob. You’re trying to communicate that it’s not his fault, but it’s hard to breathe.

König made his way to the front of your knees, kneeling where his head was at about the same height as yours and he puts both of his arms around your shoulders into a hug, pushing you forward so you are sitting further off the couch, your head squished into his neck as he does the same to yours.

“Breathe, darling.”

He breathes slowly in and out to model this, still gripping you tight. The pressure is a comfort, but you can feel your tears start to soak his shirt.

“Hey come on, breathe with me.”

His voice is a bit shaky but not as shaky as your breaths trying to mirror his.

In.

And out.

And in again.

It slowly gets easier to breathe but you don’t know how long it’s been. He is still kneeling, hugging you as you lean off the couch. König’s left hand is running up and down your back while his right hand grips the base of the back of your neck.

You are normally alone for moments like these, so you’re surprised how much better it feels going through this with König, despite being being a sniveling, embarrassed mess.

You realize how König just saw you and your face heats up.

“I’m sorry, it wasn’t your fault” you breathe out, still against his neck.

He just hums while he continues to rubs your back.

You lift your head up to look in his eyes again and he still looks a bit hesitant. His hands stop moving. He’s scared. Scared he might say something and shatter you.

“Do… you want to say what was wrong?” he says softly and slowly, his eyes dart back and forth between yours again. You guess it’s a nervous habit of his you just now noticed and you smile a bit.

This man really has you in a chokehold. He just saw you at your worst and he’s nervous.

You look down as you say “I was feeling insecure about…” you pause, really sinking into your embarrassment at the situation. You had never openly talked about your feelings of insecurities to anyone else. Your eyes look up and him and back down to your lap. König looks at you intently, patiently waiting for you to finish. “Um, about my looks, like… all day”

He grabs your chin with his hand and forces your face up to look at him. he looks bewildered this time.

“What?!” he says as he spits out a bit.

You flinch at the surprise and his expression softens a little.

“Hey, I mean, why do you feel like this? You are so beautiful.” His eyebrows bunch together and his face comes a little closer to yours.

“Um” You feel a little speechless at just how close he is, still fueled by your self-consciousness. You guys have kissed plenty of times before but the closeness and the compliment wiped the floor with your shameful state. Your lips parted without any other words.

“You are beautiful.” he states plainly as he moves his hands to each side of your face yet again. You sink into them as your face turns red. You really do love this man.

König ends the silence by pressing his lips to yours. This helps you forget about what happened before as you melt into his touch even more, focusing on the warm feeling of his lips.

He pulls away from you. You blink a few times, looking at various parts of his face. The silence still has you waiting for him to say something.

“Please don’t feel like you have to hide this from me.” He looks desperate now as he speaks softly, his hands still on your jaw. You can hear the sincerity in his voice and you feel bad for how this whole thing went down. If you had been open, you two wouldn’t have had to deal with this mess. Eyes puffy, shirt collars wet, feelings misunderstood.

“I won’t König.” You press your forehead to his and it’s his turn to blush.

“I’m sorry that you felt like this was your responsibility-“

“No, just stop talking.” He cuts you off, closing his eyes. You wonder if you’ve upset him in some way before he takes his fingers and wipes away your tears a bit harshly with rough, callused fingers. He reaches his hand to the bottom of his shirt and lifts it to grab your nose and wipe it. You’re slightly taken aback before he says, “Can I kiss you?”

His eyes look down before looking back up at yours., bringing his forehead back down to yours.

You laugh a little given the circumstances.

“You just kissed me and wiped my nose like a baby, do you really have to ask?” You smile.

“I felt it was necessary this time.” He smiles back and guides you further onto the couch, towering a little higher over you. His forehead never leaves yours as you lean back, his left arm coming up to press on the couch headrest besides your head, his right hand on your jaw. Your lips part open in a small gasp as his right knee rests between your legs, his left leg standing on the floor.

“I want to make you feel beautiful.”

You stare at him with wild eyes. You didn’t know what to say in the face of that, so you just nod your head once timidly.

He presses his lips to yours once again, starting slow.

You bring your own hands up to his chest and he takes that as a sign to go a bit faster, pressing his face a bit further into you, your head sinking into the couch.

He pulls away from your lips, quickly moving to your jaw and pressing down a kiss.

“Beautiful”

He kisses right under your jaw.

“Pretty”

He kisses the base of your neck, making you shiver a bit.

“Um, beautiful” he smiles against your neck and you chuckle.

He brings his face back up towards yours, and says sheepishly “I’m sorry I don’t know that many words for beautiful in English.”

You grab the back of his neck and bring him back in to kiss him.

You really do love this man. You two haven’t said it yet, but you can feel he loves you too.

#könig #könig headcanons #könig mw2 #könig modern warfare #call of duty mw2 #call of duty mwii #mw2 headcanons #könig cod #könig x reader

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practically-an-x-man · 4 months

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Which of our OCs would get along the best, and which would absolutely loathe each other

Ooooh good question! I'm gonna try to organize this as best I can...

Rae: - Would get along with: Kayla! They had somewhat similar backstories in a way, coming into their power as retaliation for trying to protect someone they love, and she'd appreciate Kayla's sense of justice and devotion to doing good - Would loathe: Director Hawke. For one thing, she's a superhuman who isn't a witch (she's a mutant), so there would already be tension there, and Rae has such a strong sense of justice that it would end in more than a few fights

Robin: - Would get along with: Pippa comes to mind, I think they'd bond, but I also think she'd develop a fondness/friendship for Hyun-Ki while trying to save him from Jessi's control - Would loathe: Jessi. Between being deaf and having sonic powers herself, she's immune to Jessi's hypnosis, and it leaves her with a complete and utter hatred for how she chooses to use her powers.

Madison: - Would get along with: I'm going with Liah, actually. She's a bit pacifistic for Madison's tastes, and Madison would definitely insist on teaching her some sort of self-defense, but overall they'd get along really well (and seeing Liah be so comfortable with her nonhuman appearance would help Madison get more comfortable with her own mutations) - Would loathe: Hm... Esme. She'd feel very shallow and image-focused to Madison, whether or not that's true, and they wouldn't get along.

Ophelia: - Would get along with: Siv for sure. I mean, we've chatted offhandedly about it, but I really do think they'd make good allies and would be friends despite all the rampant taunting of each other - Would loathe: Max. She'd respect his tech out of academic curiosity, but they'd be on opposite sides and it would end in a lot of really nasty fights and property damages.

Jasper: - Would get along with: Cory! They'd be alt besties for sure - Would loathe: Ameerah. At first they might bond over their shared empathic abilities, but then Jasper would learn what she does with her ability in behavioral therapy and would get so disgusted that they can't go back.

Katherine: - Would get along with: Reggie! They have so many similar experiences to bond over together! - Would loathe: Onnie for sure. As someone who's worked closely with actual gods, Onnie's god complex would really get on her nerves. And that's not even mentioning all the issues of morality and violence.

Quinn: - Would get along with: Jay. He reminds her of Billy, for one, and they can bond over their experiences with their disabilities and how they came into them - Would loathe: In a weird way... Pyrrha, actually. It's really just jealousy of her prosthetics - she doesn't know the backstory behind them, so to her it just looks like Pyrrha has access to boundless tech that grants her all the mobility Quinn has lost. If they actually got over themself and tried to make friends, they could get close, but Quinn just can't get past the unconscious biases and jealousy of everything Pyrrha's able to do

Kestrel: - Would get along with: Arya. They'd bond over their love of harmless chaos and both being changelings/fae-related, and Kestrel would be largely immune to Arya's siren-calls so there's no risk of danger there. - Would loathe: Also Director Hawke. I was trying not to have any duplicates in this lineup, especially since you have so many OCs to work with, but the fact of the matter is that Hawke would try to sell Kestrel on the black market.

Eris: - Would get along with: Anyone that would give them a good fight, and be strong enough to get back up and do it again. Max and Laila come to mind. - Would loathe: Meredith. They don't understand her hesitance or refusal to just jump into a battle, and she gets just as irritated by his reckless violence - it's a strange detail to get hung up on, but it grates on both of them and they can never really bond.

Nikoletta: - Would get along with: Cassandra. Her dark magic and immunity to Nikoletta's shadow-touch would make her about the only person Nikoletta can relax around, and they're fairly similar women even beyond that. - Would loathe: Ember. She's not used to having people reach out or try to help her, so she'd distrusting of Ember's selfless tendencies and assumes he has some ulterior motive (even when they really are just trying to help). For a long time, Nikoletta believes that no action truly comes from the goodness of someone's heart, and believes Ember's always out to get something from her.

Indigo: - Would get along with: Thalia. She'd really respect her for defying what was expected of her and building her own life out of it, which is something Indie's always struggled to do. - Would loathe: Athena seems like the most obvious answer, but yeah it would be Athena.

Prometheus: - Would get along with: Hailey. They probably eased her nightmares while she was overseas, and continues to ease her nightmares even after her death (she's still conscious, and technically still exists in the Waking world... it counts, okay?) - Would loathe: The Negative Speed Force. It reminds them too much of other nightmares, or even themself as a nightmare before they became Prometheus

#my friends!!!#answered asks #my ocs #rae mckinney #robin cassidy #madison douglas #ophelia octavius #jasper wilson #oc kestrel #oc quinn/aces #oc katherine johnson #oc eris #nikoletta bordeaux #oc indigo #oc prometheus #revan ocs

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sociallyanxiouscryptid-writings · 2 years

Text

A Hunter, an Angel and a Demon walk into a Dungeon

The title sounds like a idea for a cool DnD campaign.

Blurb: Protagonist has been captured by a hunter, a demon and an angel, an odd group to say the least.

CW: Capture, threats of torture, interrogation, reference to orgies (nothing explicit just intrusive thoughts), someone has a violent outburst, accidental self-harm (kinda? they hurt themself in a rage but without the conscious thought of it).

If I am doing content warnings wrong or ever leave things out please let me know

This felt like the beginning of some sort of joke. A hunter, a demon, and an angel all walk into a dungeon. Protagonist wasn’t sure what the punch line would be exactly, but probably involves them cuffed to a chair in the centre of a painted binding circle. A bit too long winded to be a punchline. Protagonist’s mind then for some reason drifted to orgies and they desperately hunted for a subject change, but their mind was so slow and dazed they were really just along for the ride. Gods damn it that wasn’t helping.

The trio was saying something important, threats or whatever, but Protagonist was only able to process every other word, so it wasn’t particularly affective. Frustration ached in their chest as they pushed against the fog, pushed against the internal restraints holding them down. It was the only reason the three of them had even been able to capture Protagonist. If the stupid spell hadn’t been in place, Protagonist would be sitting in a pool of the trio’s blood. Or at least the hunter and the demon’s, they’d never killed an angel before. Could they? Only one real way to find out.

“I’m sorry,” the demon snapped, “are we boring you?”

Protagonist must have been pulling a face. They hadn’t intended to. though they also hadn’t intended on imagining the trio having rampant orgies in their dungeon.

“Sorry,” Protagonist said, “I zoned out for a second there, what were you saying?”

Irritation flickered across all their faces, a mirrored image in each of their eyes. It had been hard enough for them to capture Protagonist, let alone bring them here, and now all they needed was the tiniest bit of information and even that was proving difficult.

Well, it wasn’t really a tiny bit of information, quite a rather big bit actually, the whole operation in fact.

Damn this stupid spell.

“I don’t think you quite realise the situation you are in here,” the angel said. “We are trying to save people, but to do that we need your help. We need you to tell us about your comrades, to help us stop them. Do you really want to follow through with their plan? Do you really want to start the apocalypse?”

Protagonist scoffed. Comrades? That was an interesting word, how had they come up with that? Had they done any research at all? Comrades suggested that Protagonist had any say in the situation. Comrades suggested there was mutual benefit, mutual control. Protagonist had no control, got nothing out of it. They were nothing but a pawn to be used however they wanted.

Also, apocalypse was a strong world. The witch cult wasn’t going to end the world, just kill a bunch of people. Not really an apocalypse in the Protagonist’s books.

“Hey!”

Protagonist jumped as the human yelled.

“Look, we don’t want to hurt you, but if you won’t cooperate, we will have no choice,” he said.

Protagonist laughed at him, trying incredibly hard to not zone out again. Gods damn they hate being glamoured.

“There lies the issues my friend because I am not going to tell you anything, and there is nothing you can do about it.” They focussed in on the hunter’s eyes, they look like so many others that they had seen in the past, that had promised Protagonist pain and suffering. That had robbed them of their freedom and their life.

They focused on it, trying to reach for the anger and the hatred that lie beneath the memories, but their mind remained a frustratingly calm sea. Protagonist’s attention began slipping again and they growled, shaking their head, much to the trio’s confusion. Before they could comment Protagonist kept talking.

“You plan on torturing me? With what information? You don’t know who I am, hell you don’t know what I am, and you expect to be able to hurt me? You’re amateurs and you will die screaming if you keep this up.”

The three of them watched Protagonist for a second before the demon gestured and they all turned away, stepping outside of the room.

Protagonist tried listening in on them but could here nothing past the stupid wall, their eyes weak to the pathetic distance and cement. They grit their teeth, a growl bubbling up in their throat, but they held it in, they focused. Protagonist closed their eyes.

It was easy to feel the energy inside of them. The glamour that was worked around their body, hog tying every important function they could possibly want access to. A clear mind to think with? Nope. Their strength to break out of these cuffs? Locked away. The ability to see with their real eyes? Yeah, nah we all good here. The glamour was successfully hiding them from the world, and at the same time subduing them, protecting the world from them. How was all of this possible? Witches, that’s how, and it made their blood boil.

But Protagonist had been watching and learning, for years now, and they had finally learnt a few tricks of their own.

The spell was cold inside of them. It ran through their veins, wrapped around their bones, clogged up their mind. They took in a long and steady breath, focusing, and like Christmas lights the magic lit up inside of them, only for their minds eye to see. They could see every little inch of it, every corner it hid in, the paths it took. Like a predator to prey they watched it, analysed it. Herded it into the right places with the right techniques.

And once everything was in place, Protagonist devoured it all.

The trio walked back in. Protagonist’s body was unsettlingly still, the only sign they were even alive the ever so slight movement of their chest. Their eyes were closed, posture stock straight.

“What are you doing?” The human asked.

Protagonist didn’t respond.

“Hey,” they snapped, and Protagonist heard them take a step forward.

Their eyes snapped open, world shinning with clear bright colours. They moved their arms as if without restraint, the thick cuff chain snapping as they lunged for the hunter.

The demon reacted however, and pulled the hunter back, dragging them out of the circle. Protagonist’s fingers brushed by with mere millimetres in between.

“Damn it,” Protagonist growled. They had been looking forward to getting a hold of them. Showing the hunter what real pain was.

Their mind, and eyes in reflection, danced wildly. It was a chaos storm, pent up energy raging inside of them, and they paced the small circle.

“How the hell did you do that?” The hunter gaped. They all looked shocked. What? Just because Protagonist had broken out of their special little cuffs? Protagonist laughed.

“Oh, those cuffs were nothing,” they said. They paced the circle, walking around the whole thing now, stalking it for a weak point, a break. But if there was a break the whole circle would be ineffective. If there was a weak point, they wouldn’t be here in the first place. With a growl they turned back to the trio.

“So, you’ve been pretending this whole time?” The demon asked, eyeing them with a frown. With familiarity.

Their movements were so fluid yet jittery, like the head of a bird, but the body of a leopard, hunting.

“What?” Protagonist paused momentarily before resuming their erratic movements. “No, don’t be stupid. Why would I wait till kill you if I could just kill you? That’s just silly. I would have avoided all of this, been over and done with everything, but nooooo, instead I am stuck IN A STUPID CIRCLE OF PAINT.”

The hunter jumped as the Protagonist screamed down at the binding circle genuine fury bursting within their chest. They didn’t like losing, especially to fucking paint and they wanted to tear their teeth into it and run it dry of its blood, but it was fucking paint and they couldn’t.

Their firsts curled in, and they grit their jaw thinking desperately for a way to expel the building energy inside of them, but there wasn’t a single thing to hit or bite, until they saw the chair again and grabbed it.

They punched through its seat, picking it up, tearing an arm off with their teeth, slamming it down onto the ground until it was nothing but chunks and splinters. They grabbed a chunk, a mini spear of wood and threw it at the trio, with more strength and velocity then the three could ever have thought to expect.

The angel caught it effortlessly.

Protagonist yelled and lunged, hitting the stupid edge of the stupid circle and punched the invisible wall. It hurt their hand much more then it did anything to their cage, but they kept going until their hand was broken and beyond.

A few hours later.

The trio left at some point during Protagonist’s episode. There was no way they were getting anything out of Protagonist now, or any time soon in that state. It had been hours now though and Protagonist had calmed down quite a lot. The residual energy from devouring the spell having been worn out and they laid on the ground, feet rested up on the wall of the circle.

They could only hear so far up into wherever the trio was keeping them. It was a fairly big place, much more of it underground then just Protagonist’s little dungeon area. Which meant a lot of thick cement that limited their reach. But when the hunter returned, followed by a set of footsteps not belonging to either the demon or angel, Protagonist was aware well before they finally opened the door.

Hunter walked in, and the moment the second person walked in Protagonist glared.

“You,” they said.

“Yes, me,” the woman said, stopping by the hunter with her arms crossed.

The hunter glanced between them but said nothing.

Protagonist continued to glare at her, eyeing her. Their brows knitted together as something, some type of emotion or feeling warmed their chest uncomfortably.

“I love you,” they said.

The hunter’s eyes almost jumped out their head.

“Yes,” the woman said.

“I don’t like that,” Protagonist said.

“I know,” she said, “not now at least.”

Protagonist continued to glare, their eyes drifting to something in the woman’s hand that they couldn’t quite make out.

“How did you find me?” They asked. “The witches took my tracker.”

“It wasn’t easy,” the woman said, Protagonist watched an emotion soften her face, but they couldn’t understand what it was. “And I am sorry about that. I promised you I wouldn’t let them get you again.”

Protagonist scoffed, “of course they would, they will always find me.”

She smiled, but that emotion tainted it, and the smile did not reflect in her eyes. But despite that, the smile wasn’t a lie.

“Will you let me step into the circle?” The woman asked.

Protagonist wanted to say no. Wanted to uphold their promise that anyone who did would die horribly, however, the words caught at the back of their throat, and their chest ached in rebellion. They couldn’t hurt her, even if they wanted to hurt someone, not her.

“Apparently,” Protagonist said. “Love is inconvenient,” they grumbled.

They eyed her as she stepped in.

“Why do I love you?” They asked. She was opening the small box in her hand.

“You will remember soon,” she said. “Can you hold out your wrist?”

Protagonist looked at the box, looked at her.

“You aren’t going to hurt me.” A statement not a question.

Regardless, the woman replied, “no, I would never hurt you.”

Protagonist took in a frustrated breath before holding out their arm. The woman took a braided leather band out of the box and Protagonist could see the magic practically dripping off of it. The leather was carved with symbols on every inch of it, the lines running into each other in an elegant combination of magical language.

They weren’t worried, however, they trusted her, much to their displeasure.

The woman wrapped the band around Protagonist’s wrist, but instead of tying it together she held the two ends over top each other, foreign words leaving her lips. The symbols began glowing a metallic gold, and something shifted inside of Protagonist. They watched the glow rise into the ends of the band, then fuse together and seal itself. A perfect fit. Protagonist frowned as nothing further happened. They felt no better or worse like they had expected, but the woman didn’t seem phased as she watched them, waiting.

The band lit up one final time and Protagonist collapsed.

I hope you enjoyed! I love receiving comments and talking to folks

#fiction #not a prompt #fic #ficlet #writing #short story #writeblr #writing snippet #snippet #writing community #story #capture #fantasy #demons #angels #hunters #magic

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waters-and-the-wilde · 10 months

Text

okay so one of the fun and neat things about going on T and shifting into boy mode is. i'm hot now??

it's not that i've changed that much or was dealing with negative self-image stuff, like i was already the prettiest boy you've ever seen before i got on T. back in girl(?) mode i dodged the worst of the usual body image issues due to a confluence of factors, such as

a.) enough early messaging to the effect of 'hey trying to make girls be attractive all the time is kinda fucked up' and me going 'yeah! that is fucked up! fuck being pretty'

b.) just. extraordinary amounts of asexuality. and with that came the primary incentive to go 'oh fuck i don't want to be attractive. dear god get that away from me. engage the Somebody Else's Problem Fields to maximum capacity!!'

c.) 'but also hey i've got great hair and look dashing in a waistcoat, i just do it for me you know? i'm like if a vain creature spent a lot of time scrabbling about in a tree hollow'

like i felt like i looked fine as a girl(?) and i didn't want to deal with the social baggage of being pretty (TM) or hot (TM) and clearly all that took so much effort anyway so it was super easy to just. not. although I liked wearing fancy costumes so in a lot of ways it's easier to look back on like. girl formalwear moments and be like 'oh yeah. that's drag. i was in drag.' without getting hit with the dysphoria stick. and the moments i felt really good about myself, like, 'flirt with myself in the mirror' moments were. boy drag. but i wasn't going to call myself hot. (also probably an autism thing, bc The Neurotypicals and the CisHetAlloNormies love to take the things you say literally and contort them to fit their assumptions so i couldn't risk them conflating 'hot' with 'sexually available'.) i was 'allowed' to be hot when i was dressed as jack harkness but under all other circumstances i didn't want that and wasn't willing to risk being thought of in those terms. never mind nipping it in the bud i was gonna salt the earth first.

which, maybe was a little overkill, i've got a bit of a tendency there but tbh i'm incredibly grateful for how much that kept the background society noise from getting the worst of its hooks into me. like the rampant asexuality and baby's first genderqueer shenanigans did me so many favors for maintaining a neutral-to-positive outlook on my relationship with my body. especially when it came to keeping prospective attention at bay so any time someone actually tried to ask me out it was just like. reaction gif of those girls with the red cups at the party. how did you get past security.

didn't hurt that i didn't want to hang in the kind of environments that made a big deal about appearances slash recognized it's rude to be a dick about peoples' appearances, but also there was probably a certain amount of baseline white/able-bodied/skinny privilege that i wasn't really aware of at the time, and lately i've been suspecting that contributes to other people trying to reinforce their idea of my place in 'the girl club'. something something same coin as those standards that also exclude and deny cis women for not measuring up.

recent years it's been weird because it sort of hasn't mattered how obvious i think the transmasc cues are, how much i look in the mirror and go '!!! hell yeah look at that handsome little guy!' because it just wouldn't translate. there was just a lot of 'yes fine i know i know i kNoW what people see when they look at me. it is still weird to me but i have to maKe Allowances for our soCiAL coNText riGht?? just because i got sick of being low-effort nonbinary and decided I wanted a turn at the blue hair and pronouns thing doesn't mean that other people aren't stuck in their assumptions. yes i know who i am but i have to wear a little sign and point it out to people and most of the time they don't notice or remember and if i'm lucky they'll wring their hands and get all conCerNed about having oFfEnded me instead of telling me they don't think they should have to make the effort of trying.' and don't get me wrong i love meeting cishetnormies who are cool and onboard and supportive or just baseline chill about it, but there are a lot of them where there's this definite undercurrent of knowing they're just humoring you and it itches like a shirt with the bad textures.

anyway it's not as if i didn't know i built in a bunch of defensiveness around knowing I was being perceived female and trying to control for the implications of that. (it's been a perennial topic of household conversation bc sibling and sibling-in-crime are a bit more settled into their own flavors of genderqueer especially in terms of dealing with other peoples' perceptions and i've still been grappling with a lot of 'i need to look GAY i need to look QUEER i need to look LIKE A BOY I need to look COMPLETELY UNAVAILABLE. do NOT perceive me. ENGAGE 'SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM FIELD' to MAXIMUM CAPACITY. i am JUST SOME GUY. FUCK i dress like a 12-YEAR-OLD and people think i'm in HIGH SCHOOL but they STILL DON'T THINK I'M A BOY' 'buddy hey do you think maybe you're overthinking the way people perceive you and trying to accommodate for that instead of being yourself' 'I KNOW BUT HEY'

i think starting to working in a much more public retail job kind of threw it into sharp relief because before I wasn't doing that on purpose, i just got so used my Whole Deal just sort of automatically flying under the radar. and suddenly every day i'm having to deal with other peoples' assumptions. and every day i'm still kicking and yowling and biting because all i'm getting is other people trying to shove me into a box. they see a girl-shaped person and it doesn't matter about the collared button-down shirt and what's usually a boy's name on the apron, lol what's a pronoun button, she's young and skinny and cute and white and that's what the quirky young ladies do these days because androgyny is trendy right??

(do not get me started on how women are not allowed to age and how trans guys get infantilized and how i keep getting clocked as much younger than i am, what does a guy have to do to get treated like a goddamn grown-up ah fuck i gotta show up with healthy boundaries and self-respect probably because i'm not about to stop dressing like a twelve year old because i am fighting for my life to retain my youthful whimsy on this godforsaken bitch of an earth)

and then. not much changes but I change. six weeks on T and i'm like ugh nothing's happening it's fine it's fine it's gonna be gradual it's gonna take its own time. and then two weeks later, holy shit. the goddamn second i unlocked the slightest bit of facial hair and boom. 'not my fault you think i'm a girl. skill issue. oh shit i look GOOD'

they (the charming and helpful transmascs who make youtube videos) said T won't just up and fix your confidence issues, and yeah okay they're right because something something gotta find that in yourself or whatever, but also. they were right when they said it doesn't not fix your confidence issues.

now. sometimes it's even more fucking jarring when it's easier for me to forget that it still doesn't always translate. last week some middle-aged guy tried to ask me out while i was at work (it was a short and not ill-mannered interaction but pretty obviously 'area man has interacted with a Young Lady for five minutes and decided to go for it' way) and it was like. The FUCK? now?? like. sir. babygirl. you are not only barking up the wrong tree you are not even in a forest right now. this is in fact. a lumber department. 'you look lovely' my ass i am the grubbiest little dweeb you have ever seen and these aprons flatter nobody, not even me. who the fuck do you think you're trying to kid. also i'm a boy. no sparing your feelings no laughing it off no 'easy mistake to make' i hope you feel super awkward about this. not my fault you tried to pick up a grown-ass man with a mustache. i don't care if you were polite about it you're old enough to be my dad and this is my workplace. i am once again asking how the fuck did you get past security.

(work-life gender is totally a thing too. at work i am 'actually a boy but thanks', i'm they/he and uh him actually when people use 'her', i am just some guy, fuck you i am a grown-ass man stop telling me how to do my job boomer. and then i get to go home and be a creature and a weird little man (nonbinary) and i'm suddenly more comfortable in a bunch of the girl(?) shirts i had stopped wearing and i'm looking forward to approaching more of a queer guy flavor of femininity on my own time)

it's weird too in that materially very little has changed, like it's been all of four months, i sound like i'm getting over a cold and my face can do a new party trick. it's all still mine, it's just that maybe it feels a little bit more mine now.

anyway the point of all this was that. i couldn't be hot because i couldn't act like i was hot because i couldn't envision a version of events where people didn't make this my problem. and suddenly I'm Just Hot Now. because I Am. like it's just a fact now it's an immutable law of the universe. all those posts about 'i'm transgenedner and sexy' and i was like 'love that for you, couldn't be me tho' and now i'm transgedener and sexy. am I going to do anything about it?? god no. i'm gonna make this everybody else's problem.

(be funny if i had a slut era in an asexual way but one thing at a time perhaps)

#where the fuck are my gender tags #hehe #i'm a little man but i'm not ur only a man but i'm a little weird old man but really i'm not acutally ur man...#this got away from me #long post #heck is empty #and all the genders are here #i wrote this for me but y'all can read it too #there are so many Things like there are Layers #tldr i'm Hot Now

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regretsofalifeandlovelost · 2 years

Text

Part One

I grew up in a family where the idea of sex was considered to be dirty, my mother would fast forward sex scenes in M15 movies. That still happens today even though we all of my siblings are now in their 40's. This sets the scene for an awkward life with a series of very uncomfortable moments. I have always been very body concious, my mother would tease me as a teenager. Her thought was that it would toughen me up. Instead it focused me on the issues and gave me chronic body image problems.

In highschool I had a few crushes on boys. I would fantisie and think about them in the romantic comedy idea of what a relationship was. I would dream about getting married with the big brand engagement ring. It was always a picture perfect dream of what life would be. I did not end up dating until I was 19. He was a Catholic who lived all their values except for not having sex before marriage. We had an uncomfortable sexual relationship where he would take and never give. It somewhat suited me as we could have the lights off, hiding my body and it made him happy. The sex felt good but it was never great, it was always him finishing and that was that. I really started to like giving blow jobs because it was something that I could give him, he never offered to return any oral on me. We dated for a few years and despite the relationship being hollow when he broke it off with me I was heart broken. It's funny how when you look back you think why oh why.

I remained single for a while and started to go out to night clubs, I met a guy there who was everything that I aspired to be from my teenage fantasy of what a relationship should be, he was popular, very good looking and very wealthy. We hooked up on the first night after clubbing. Our relationship was again very one way, I was completely smitten with him. Looking back I was clingy and submissive, I was not myself because I was aspiring to try and fullfill my teenage dream. The sex was a story of him taking, although this time he refused to use protection relying solely on pulling out. I further developed my BJ technique and this boyfriend loved it. He was always happy to receive and I was happy to please. I loved sucking his cock and giving him pleasure. It gave me a huge boost in self confidence when he even spoke to his friends about my skills in this regard. After 6 months he broke it off with me and I was heart broken. I didn't leave the house and fell into a state of deep depression. A few weeks later we got back together although only for a week of rampant sex before he again broke it off with me. Being weak I then became a booty call when he was drunk for a month or so before he found a new girlfriend. I was heart broken and fell into a cycle of depression again. Not eating for days on end, not leaving my room and not going to work. I almost lost my job.

After a month of this I managed to pull myself together and return to some sense of normal. My life became consumed with getting out clubbing and trying to forget the relationship. It was tough because we would frequently run into my ex and the waves of emotion would return. We started to attend different clubs and over the next year I would see less and less of him and my life was improving. My life was now completely taken by my friendship with my sister and her friends. We would party hard, sleep in and work to start the whole cycle again the next week. It was a great time with few problems.

After about 18 months my sister met a guy and my life started to fall apart again. I hated the guy, he was taking the most important person in my life away from me and I made sure that she and him both knew it.

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heavenforblog1111 · 20 days

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Dark Necessities is a song by Red Hot Chili Peppers and was released on 5th May 2016 as the first single of their eleventh studio album 'The Getaway'. Red Hot Chili Peppers was started in 1982 in Los Angeles and has been active since a very long time. They still release tracks on their YouTube channel. Dark Necessities is among their best songs ever. It has a unique sound and vibe to it. Meaning and Explanation Red Hot Chili Peppers has been among the most notable rock bands ever. They were prominent at a time when rock music was at its peak and they are still prominent today unlike most bands in their time. The 1980s was characterized by rock bands dominating the music scene. Their lifestyle was stereotypically thought of as those who indulged in rampant dr*g use, partying while touring. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0oIoR9mLwc It was natural for rock members to have a dark side. It was only through exploring their dark side, did they come across creative ideas for music. Anthony Kiedis was known to have quit dr*gs at the time and was known to have been living a sober lifestyle for quite some time when the song was released. Dark Necessities refers to the dark issues that one has to deal with. It is not only limited to dr*gs although that is a major theme behind the song but also other negative aspects that one may have to deal with. In the song, the singer is actually embracing his dark side and talking about how accepting it made him the way he is. By accepting his flaws, he feels liberated from it. It also comes with the realization that everyone has shadow aspects that they need to deal with. A lot of people feel hindered by their shortcomings but when we realize that we are not perfect and neither is anyone else; we become at ease with the fact that we will always have problems and issues to deal with like everyone else. Dark Necessities are a part of not only the singer's design but everyone in the world. The part about Zodiac is a subtle reference to the serial killer Zodiac who about killed 37 people. In the second verse, Anthony vividly describes the issues that dr*g add*cts face in their life. They might stumble across the parking lot with no sense of self or surroundings. They hardly have time to think about themselves, much less about the image they project on to the world. The video features notable female long boarders Carmen Shafer, Amanda Caloia, Amanda Powell and Noelle Mulligan skating through Los Angeles. The injuries they suffer while skateboarding is mainly the dark aspects of skateboarding a metaphor that the band uses to explain its point behind dark necessities in the simplest of things https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1Mfk0Q50d8 "We received [her treatment] and it was very simple and it was about this dark and bruised side of these athletes, these female skateboard athletes and it was just easy and simple and we were trying to do simplicity." Anthony Kiedis They sent that to me on a CD because I’m old school like that and I like to go work in my car that has a CD player. And I listened to it and I was pretty immediately stricken with my part in the song, which sometimes happens and sometimes doesn’t. Sometimes you hear a piece of music that you fall in love with but you have no idea, as a vocalist, what you’re supposed to do with it; just doesn’t make sense, the timing is weird, the melodies are weird. With that song I was like, I know what to do with this song, I think I know what my part is, and I took that and went to Hawaii and wrote lyrics for it. And it just kind of speaks to the beauty of our dark sides and how much creativity and growth and light actually comes out of those difficult struggles that we have on the inside of our heads that no one else can see. Anthony Kiedis As far the song is concerned, it was definitely among the best songs they had ever produced. This song really confirmed to people that Red Hot Chili Peppers still had a lot left in its tank and had not run out of ideas yet.

The video has amassed over 450 millions views on YouTube. Let me know what you guys think of the song.

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skullhub · 1 month

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MUSE PROFILE: Ellie Ellison/Bow (E - TRN1064)

Name: Ellie Ellison/Bow

Age: 15

Pronouns: She/Her, They/Them, It/Itself

Height: 5'2"

General Alignment: Chaotic Good

General personality: Ellie: Cautious, Extroverted, Semi-confident in herself, Nerdy, Quiet, Logical, Kind of Airheaded, Frightened easily, Very energetic, Adventurous, Selfless. Bow: Impulsive, Cocky, Very alert, Selfless, A quick thinker, Playful, Kind of a prankster, Protective, Stubborn but caring

Family: Unnamed Mother, Unnamed Father

Home: Los Angeles, California, E - TRN1064

Backstory: Ellie Ellison was just your average highschooler living in a dangerous world where evil ran rampant across the city. Leaving Ellie guessing about whether or not she'll be able to get through class without a villain trying to terrorize her hometown. Ellie lived in near constant fear of what might happen to her and her friends next, and she worries about her own chance of survival along with everyone else’s. She was tired of just sitting around and letting everything precious to her be destroyed bit by bit, but what could she really do? All the more important heroes of her universe were on the other side of the country, and Ellie didn't have the power to save her loved ones and stop these forces of evil from wrecking havoc.

At least, not yet.

In the middle of the night, when Ellie was getting ready to go to sleep, something had snuck in through her window and hid under her bed. Having waited for the perfect moment before it finally latched onto Ellie's ankle and initiated a bond with her in her sleep. Slipping into Ellie's subconscious and struck a deal with the hopeful student, promising her the power she so desires in exchange for using her as a host-body. Not knowing what exactly that would entail, Ellie gladly accepted the terms of this strange being without question.

Once the bond had properly been established and Ellie figured out how to get over the hurdles that were taking care of a symbiote, the pair had started establishing themselves as a terrifying force to be reckoned with. Becoming well known for her brutality against other villains and their low tolerance for injustice within their hometown. With Necroko having been raved about all over the news for having defeated a whole hoard of anthropomorphic lizard people at St. Lutgarde's academy, and leaving the lizards as nothing more than a bunch of limbless and headless corpses.

Despite the populace’s disgust and visible disdain over Necroko and the way they handle justice, the pair still do their best to defend Los Angeles from the evils that plague the city near endlessly while Ellie tries to balance her hero life with her school, and love life.

Extra Info: Necroko’s symptoms of the symbiote being attached to her didn’t initially show up until way after she had made a bond with Bow. Usually the flare ups and cravings for chocolate and brains happen when both the host body and the symbiote have overexerted themselves and both of their energy levels are down to zero.

Bow often hides on Ellie as an accessory because it’s more comfortable for the symbiote and it makes it much easier when Ellie has to transform into Necroko in a flash.

Necroko’s wand bites if anyone besides her touches it.

Ellie is actually a huge fan of lolita fashion and wants so badly to own a frilly pastel pink dress of her own.

Ellie’s a twilight fan and is team Edward.

Necroko is very graceful when she fights despite what others might think, there is a certain precision they have that other venom symbiotes don't thanks to their magical girl powers.

Ellie/Necroko/Bow struggle with self-image issues due to being perceived as a monster by the public after having saved them, they do their best to appear as non-threatening and as cutesy as possible because of their terrible PR.

Ellie often daydreams during class and at home when she's alone, mostly she's just dreaming about the day Necroko finally gets recognized as a hero and the general public finally start seeing her in a better light.

#muse profiles #blog location: spidociety #muse: Ellie Ellison

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arunrout123 · 2 months

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Understanding the Intricacies: The Psychology Behind Online Reputation Damage and Recovery

In the digital age, where our lives are intricately woven into the fabric of the internet, our online reputation holds unprecedented significance. With just a few clicks, employers, clients, and even potential romantic partners can form opinions about us based on what they find online. Consequently, the dynamics of online reputation management have become a critical aspect of personal and professional life. Understanding the psychology behind online reputation damage and recovery is essential for navigating the complex landscape of the virtual world.

The Impact of Online Reputation Damage

The repercussions of online reputation damage can be profound and far-reaching. Whether it's a negative review, a damaging social media post, or unfavorable media coverage, such incidents can trigger a cascade of negative emotions and consequences.

Psychological Distress: When individuals encounter negative content about themselves online, it often induces feelings of distress, anxiety, and even depression. The sense of helplessness in controlling the narrative about oneself exacerbates these emotions, leading to a downward spiral of self-doubt and insecurity.

Impaired Relationships: Our online reputation influences how others perceive us, which can affect our personal and professional relationships. Negative information found online may erode trust and credibility, leading to strained interactions and missed opportunities.

Diminished Self-Esteem: An individual's self-esteem can take a significant blow when faced with online reputation damage. Negative feedback or public criticism can shake one's confidence and self-worth, potentially hindering personal growth and achievement.

Career Implications: In the professional realm, online reputation damage can have dire consequences. Employers often conduct online background checks on prospective employees, and a tarnished reputation could cost someone a job opportunity or even lead to termination.

Understanding the Psychology

Several psychological principles underpin the way individuals perceive and respond to online reputation damage:

Cognitive Biases: People are prone to cognitive biases that influence how they interpret and remember information. Negative experiences or feedback tend to leave a more significant impact than positive ones, a phenomenon known as negativity bias. This means that a single negative review can overshadow a plethora of positive ones, disproportionately affecting one's reputation.

Social Comparison Theory: Individuals often compare themselves to others to evaluate their own worth and abilities. In the online realm, this comparison becomes rampant, fueling feelings of inadequacy or superiority. Negative content can amplify these comparisons, leading to heightened distress and self-doubt.

Attribution Theory: When faced with negative information, individuals seek to attribute blame or responsibility. If the source of the damaging content is perceived as credible or trustworthy, it may lead to greater acceptance and internalization of the criticism, intensifying its psychological impact.

Self-Perception Theory: How individuals perceive themselves is influenced by external feedback and social cues. Negative online content can distort self-perception, leading individuals to internalize the criticism and adopt a more negative self-image.

Strategies for Online Reputation Recovery

While online reputation damage can be daunting, there are proactive steps individuals and businesses can take to mitigate its impact and facilitate recovery:

Monitor and Respond: Regularly monitoring online mentions and feedback allows for timely intervention. Responding thoughtfully and constructively to negative comments demonstrates accountability and a commitment to resolving issues.

Create Positive Content: Counteracting negative content with positive, authentic material can help reshape perceptions. This may involve showcasing achievements, sharing success stories, or engaging in community initiatives that align with personal or brand values.

Engage with Your Audience: Building genuine connections with your audience fosters trust and loyalty. Actively engaging with followers, addressing their concerns, and soliciting feedback can help rebuild rapport and strengthen relationships.

Seek Professional Reputation Services: In cases of severe reputation damage, seeking assistance from reputable reputation services can be invaluable. These services employ a combination of technological tools and strategic expertise to assess, mitigate, and repair online reputation damage effectively.

Conclusion

In the digital age, where online reputation holds immense power, understanding the psychology behind its damage and recovery is paramount. Negative online content can trigger a myriad of psychological responses, affecting individuals' emotions, relationships, and self-perception. However, by employing proactive strategies and seeking professional assistance when needed, individuals and businesses can navigate the complexities of online reputation management and emerge stronger from adversity. Building and maintaining a positive online reputation is not just a matter of image; it's a reflection of one's character and credibility in the digital world.

#orm agency #orm services

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veronicawaszak · 6 months

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Multimedia Journal Entry #2

The film of my choice was a documentary titled “Stamped from the Beginning” which is on Netflix, and was based off of the book “Stamped from the Beginning” by Ibram X Kendi. Documentaries themselves innately disrupt cultures of silence through education and facilitating conversations, and this one was no different. Documentaries provoke community discussion, forcing people to confront topics and issues rather than just listen or learn about them. Some of these conversations will hopefully lead to continued action, self awareness, and even further conversations with a broader audience (iTVS, 2020). “Stamped from the Beginning” explores the persistence and origins of racist ideas in America towards Black people.

Stamped from the Beginning. (2023). Untitled [Digital image]. Netflix.

One main way I noticed that this documentary generated a conversation regarding race was through mentioning past situations and perspectives, and how they translate into today. One topic this documentary mentioned was how police brutality is the modern day lynching. Lynching obviously is no longer a common practice here in America, but police brutality is. By taking a historic topic and merging it with something everyone is familiar with today facilitates conversation because people can easily contribute through personal experiences and opinions instead of needing to rely on historical knowledge to say something relevant. It was not only historic and current topics that were spliced together, but images/videos as well. Clips from Ku Klux Klan meetings were sandwiched between Trump rallies and January 6th protests (timestamp 16:35) forcing people to become aware of the parallels. The KKK is widely known for their aversion to cultural differences, integration, and anything not strictly all-white supporting, and placing that in the same context as the political environment of just a few short years ago demonstrates how in many ways that same aversion to cultural diversity runs rampant in America.

This documentary opened by asking interviewees what exactly is wrong with Black people, which obviously resulted in a resounding “nothing” but that question was not asked to generate a direct answer, but more so to initiate critical thinking about baseless racism towards Black people. Something else viewers were meant to realize is how history has been warped by the white view (Abraham Lincoln for example, timestamp 48:55) and how the Black past needs to be confirmed by a credible source before it becomes believable (Phillis Wheatley, a Black poet, for example, timestamp 25:02). This opens the doors for conversations about how racial and ethnic identity can control what narratives you are able to spread, and how they also can dictate what status in society someone has.

I thought weeks two and three were the best match in terms of course readings and screenings to relate back to this media selection because they explored multiculturalism through pictures, and their elements. Mirzoeff uses an example of O.J. Simpson to demonstrate how a shadow archive can implicitly connote that skin color and crime rates can be connected (a point also made in the documentary). Part of that discussion was also how indexical capacity is important to American visual culture. This documentary, in my opinion, did an admirable job using the indexical capacity of photos and videos incorporated to showcase real moments in history, all while coupling them with overlaid dialogue which ushered viewers into the right headspace. Leaving room for personal interpretation is crucial when forming open lines of communication and this documentary did that by using photos and videos to provide not an explanation, but a starting point for critical reflection.

I’d also like to relate this documentary back to Romare Beardon, and more specifically my artist selection for week 8, John Bankston. This documentary used a lot of mixed media styles, one of those choices being pictures and videos in the form of moving drawings/paintings. This reminded me of how Bankston used a “coloring book” type style to explore heavy themes such as racism and gender roles. Beardon used collage style paintings to transform Classic stories into something more widely applicable, using Black people and culture as a base. Similarly, this documentary took well known historical narratives and used a creative art style to retell them from the Black American point of view.

Here are 3 images for comparison

Beardon, R. (1969). Sunday After Sermon [collage on cardboard]. Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum.

Bankston, J. (1963). Red Turtle [oil painting on linen]. Privately owned.

Stamped from the Beginning. (2023). Untitled [Digital image]. Netflix.

Citations

Bankston, J. (1963). Red Turtle [oil painting on linen]. Privately owned.

Beardon, R. (1969). Sunday After Sermon [collage on cardboard]. Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum.

Stamped from the Beginning. (2023). Untitled [Digital image]. Netflix.

What role do documentaries play in conversations about race?. ITVS. (2020, October 12). https://itvs.org/blog/what-role-do-documentaries-play-in-conversations-about-race/

Williams, R (Director). 2023. Stamped from the Beginning [Film]. One Story Up Productions.

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thegraygardens · 7 months

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23/10/28

I’ll be honest… I haven’t been doing all too well honestly.

Today was a “meh” day. It was very hot in the building and thankfully I was moved to an easier department where compared to my home department has little movement (despite standing for twelve hours). The heat was ridiculous in the building, especially since my main department is heavily speed and psychical activity based; I was sweating so bad and it was so horrible. But at work, we had a very big meeting with everyone in the building for the weekend shifts and it was pretty mediocre announcements. However, they did standing ovations for employees and how it works is people are nominated by coworkers and the supervisor chooses who’ll get it (normally 4 per department from what I’ve seen today). However, our supervisor awarded no one with any ovations and also didn’t show up to work.

I myself am a very active and good worker in my department, I’m always exceeding expectations and meeting said expectations. I do a lot of work to where at times it feels like I do the work of ten people with how often they seem to rely on me to where it seems ridiculous. I have been told by a group lead that I was one of the best there in the department and know for sure I would have received an ovation.

I’m not upset about not receiving basically a shoutout and a five dollar gift card, no, but it is very disappointing because these ovations are meant to highlight the people who make a difference in the work place and a way to say thank you to them. Fellow coworkers and I that are also very skilled with our jobs were very upset with this, we obviously couldn’t exchange words with our supervisor because she did not come in today. I believe it was intentional because she foresaw how we’d react, I just find it to be very careless and in poor taste considering her job is MUCH easier compared to my coworkers and I; hers is basically 24/7 computer and sedentary. I can’t imagine the social faux pas this will cause when she is at work again, she seemed to piss off all the good people there that can do their jobs very well. A big thing is we have others who do not do their jobs and are very inefficient, apparently the low numbers in productivity is threatening her status as supervisor with apparent words of being fired.

It’s all so trivial but… y’know? I work very hard for my money and my efficiency obviously has more eyes on me because my abilities are prevalent. To be unacknowledged and unappreciated in the work place for good work is very disappointing, and many other coworkers feel the same exact way and are very upset with this.

Ah.. forgive my rambling >_<”

It was just something that irked me today.

However, another thing that has bothered me at work is the fact an associate (believed to be one on the weekday shift) had committed suicide and no one has even acknowledged it. Not a word from any management, no moments of silence, and management apparently saying not to speak of them when people ask where this person is.

I have a problem with this as someone who has and is actively struggling with suicidal thoughts. It comes off as extremely ignorant, careless and inconsiderate.

I have had a lot of bad thoughts lately. I 100% need to boost my meds next appointment, my head has been a horrible and dark place. I might see if I can get something that has weight loss, my body dysmorphia has been so bad. I can’t love my body honestly. As someone who spends Friday-Sunday with extreme psychical activity, I haven’t noticed much loss and it’s very disappointing; especially with my self image issues which have been very rampant.

I really would love a flat stomach and to have a figure I can love and be proud of, I find my body gross and cover it up every chance I get. I’m not proud of it at all and it makes me feel horrible. Gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia together, ah… it’s hell honestly.

Thank you tumblrland for listening to my thoughts ^^

#me talking #life

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workscounselingcenter · 9 months

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Fat Empowerment Service in Nashville

What Is Fat Acceptance?

Fat acceptance acknowledges that all bodies, including large ones, deserve respect and have inherent worth. Fat acceptance has roots in social liberation, with a focus on dismantling the oppression that people face due to their size. In a society that’s filled with anti-fat rhetoric, fat acceptance is about feeling proud, loved, and cared for in one’s body.

Fat activism, fat pride, and fat empowerment, all other words for Fat Acceptance, has a simple premise–everyone deserves love, regardless of their body shape or size. iFat Acceptance is a movement that aims to challenge societal beauty standards and promote self-acceptance and respect for people of all body sizes, particularly those who are fat or plus-sized. It seeks to counteract weight-based discrimination, bias, and stigmatization.

The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) is one of the main leaders in this movement. This nonprofit organization seeks to liberate fat people from fat shaming and body shaming, and advocate against all forms of fatphobia.

Challenges Fat People Face

Fat people face oppression and difficulty in many walks of life, including the workplace, public spaces, healthcare settings, and their portrayal in mainstream media. Fatness often coincides with microaggressions and assumptions about laziness, poor willpower, carelessness, or inattentiveness. This is harmful, as stereotyping people who are overweight based on their looks causes others to miss out on getting to know an individual’s unique personality and traits.

Unique challenges that fat people face in modern society include:

Healthcare discrimination:

Fat people often feel dismissed, judged, or shamed by doctors for their health concerns. This discrimination can make seeking healthcare treatment feel incredibly anxiety-provoking, and it may contribute to medical trauma.

Workplace prejudice:

Weight discrimination is a rampant issue in the workplace.

Fat tax:

Plus-size clothing and items for fat people typically cost more than the same items for straight sizes.

Travel difficulties:

Cars, planes, and trains do not always accommodate fat people. Extra comforts typically require extra fees.

Direct bullying:

Many fat people are bullied due to their size. Children can be especially prone to direct bullying, violence, and group exclusion.

Dating difficulties:

Fat people often report challenges with dating. Valid fears about feeling dehumanized or fetishized pose significant barriers when meeting new people.

The core principles of fat empowerment involve:

1. Acceptance and Respect: Recognizing that bodies come in diverse shapes and sizes, and promoting respect and acceptance for all bodies, including those that are fat.

2. Self-Love and Self-Care: Encouraging individuals to cultivate a positive body image and prioritize their mental and physical well-being, regardless of their size.

3. Challenging Weight Bias: Advocating against weight-based discrimination, prejudice, and societal biases that perpetuate negative stereotypes and harm individuals based on their body size.

4. Health at Every Size (HAES): Emphasizing that health is not determined solely by body weight and that individuals can pursue holistic health goals irrespective of their size.

5. Body Autonomy and Representation: Promoting body autonomy and the visibility of diverse body types in media, fashion, and other public platforms, advocating for inclusivity and representation.

Fat empowerment movements aim to create a more inclusive and equitable society that values and respects individuals of all body sizes, challenges harmful societal norms, and encourages self-acceptance and well-being.

How People Can Advocate for the Fat Acceptance Movement

Regardless of your size, you can be an ally for fat acceptance. Remember that small changes can make extraordinary differences. Being a positive role model may influence others to think in a different direction.

You can help advocate for the fat acceptance movement by:

Exploring your own biases:

It’s possible that you have internalized fatphobia. Consider how this affects you in everyday life and potentially leads you to treat people differently.

Educating yourself on fatphobia and fat liberation:

Read up on or follow activists promoting fat acceptance. Learn about their struggles and the steps they’re taking to improve our society.

Calling out biased comments:

When you know better, you do better, so don’t be complicit to anti-fat bias. Let people know that you don’t condone their criticism, sarcasm, or mean-spirited jokes about fat people.

Being inclusive with friends:

Consider activities that accommodate your fat friends and family. Ask for their input and be mindful of choosing places that have more accessible options.

Stopping diet talk or lamenting about body image issues:

When people get together and bash their own bodies, they don’t make themselves feel better. And many times, they simply alienate fat people by perpetuating a stigma against their body types.

People who may benefit from a fat-friendly therapist include:

1. Fat individuals seeking support for body acceptance and self-esteem

2. Those struggling with weight-related shame or discrimination. Fat-friendly therapists can provide a safe space to address experiences of weight bias, explore emotional well-being, and develop strategies for coping with societal pressures.

3. Individuals with disordered eating or body image concerns. Therapy can assist in healing relationships with food, promoting intuitive eating, and challenging harmful societal messages about body size.

4. People seeking support for weight-neutral health behaviors. A fat-friendly therapist can help individuals develop sustainable health behaviors, such as engaging in joyful movement, prioritizing self-care, and making informed decisions about their well-being.

5. Those with mental health concerns unrelated to body size: A fat-friendly therapist can address a range of mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, trauma, or relationship difficulties, without focusing on body weight or prescribing weight loss as a solution.

Remember, everyone’s needs and experiences are unique, and it’s important to find a therapist who aligns with your values and understands your specific concerns. Therapy can help individuals explore body acceptance, build self-esteem, develop coping strategies, and address any underlying emotional or psychological issues. It’s essential to find a therapist who creates a safe and supportive environment for all clients, regardless of their size. Here at Works Counseling Center our therapists understand the fat acceptance movement and are happy to work with you!

Click here to schedule an appointment.

#Empowerment #Fat #Fat Empowerment #Therapist

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of-twilight-and-moonshadow · 1 year

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Family - Young Bucks x Emery

Part of my Dark Angel of the Bullet Club series

Last week, I had a poll for which sibling-esque pairing you wanted to see first, and Matt/Nick Jackson won by an overwhelming landslide. (75-ish % of all votes) The only other one in the poll that got the remaining votes was Kyle O'Reilly - which I'll get that up soon-ish.

The shoes in the image above are the ones mentioned at the tail end of this. They're so pretty but hella expensive (150-175$ )

Words: 2320

Tag List:

@blxxckheart @mrsmatt

(If you want to be added to my tag list(s) just let me know! I have 3 separate ones for the companies - AEW, WWE, and NJPW)

Warnings: potential triggers for mental health, thoughts of suicide, past body image issues, depression

(border by)

Emery could feel the familiar thoughts and emotions weasel their way into her head. It became difficult to swallow, her throat felt dry, she began to lose her appetite, and her interest in things became stagnant.

She’d be on the couch watching her favorite TV show, but her eyes would be glazed over, and she wouldn’t pay attention to it. Despite normally going to bed around 11 at night, she’d be curled under a blanket, her room darkened by the blinds, by 6 in the evening.

Texts would go unanswered, and calls would ring through to voicemail. Social media notifications would go unchecked, and no posts from her would be made.

Oftentimes, she’d go without eating much- maybe a cracker in the morning after she finally willed herself out of bed, and if she were lucky, she’d have an apple later in the day.

She’d refuse to look in mirrors, especially the full-length mirror in her bedroom, because she knew the moment she did, all the self-hating thoughts would break her even more.

This would usually go on for a week, maybe two. If she were needed at work, she’d force herself to grab her phone and send a simple message to her boss, which was now Tony Khan, and say she was sick and unable to make it.

Her thoughts would go rampant, especially at night when she lay in bed trying to sleep. They’d remind her of all the dark, miserable things from her past that she would rather forget. The thoughts would tell her that she was weak, talentless, and nobody loved her and nobody ever would; that she was ugly and fat, and if she were to die, nobody was miss her.

It took a few days before those thoughts became so loud in her head that she was unable to ignore them. Her lungs felt like they were being squeezed, and it hurt even to breathe; it was as though she was suffocating in the self-deprecating whispers that held her hostage.

The scariest part of the whole this is when she would find herself seriously considering ending it all. Oftentimes, her eyes would land on her razor, thoughts of how easy it would be to dismantle it and use the blade on herself.

As she sat in her apartment bathroom, the razor in her hands as she unconsciously twirled it around, Emery felt the tears trickle down her face. Her eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears, but to no avail. The noise of her phone ringing reached her ears as the familiar Superkick tone played in the distance. Eventually, it stopped, but the second it did, her mind began to race as if it were a wake-up call. Throwing the razor into the sink as she got up from her seat on the tub, Emery ran to her phone in a mild panic.

Her fingers shook as she opened the chat with the two brothers that had basically adopted her into their family, and she typed out an SOS.

“Im so far deep in the rabbit hole.”

Then quickly she added:

“I dont know which way to go.”

Falling to her knees beside her bed, it took only five seconds before her phone began to ring again. After a brief pause of hesitation, her finger over the red button on the screen, she moved over and tapped the green icon and then the speaker button.

“Ree, can you hear us?” Matt’s worried voice gently asked, the worry evident in his tone.

“Y-yeah,” Emery choked out.

“We’ve missed you this past week,” Nick stated, “Not having you ringside felt odd.”

“Brandon had the nerve to ask us if he could make a play for a championship,” Matt tried joking.

“You should’ve seen Kenny after his match—” Nick continued, telling her all about Kenny’s crazy antics backstage.

Just sitting there in the dark, listening to them go back and forth, Emery could feel her body begin to relax. The tears stopped falling, her lungs stopped feeling as though they were constricted, and the nagging, dark thoughts in her head seemed to fade away. Minutes passed by, and after Matt told her about someone backstage accidentally spilling coffee on his shoes, a soft giggle escaped her lips.

“There she is,” Nick said, the smile on his face evident just from his words.

“Go figure it takes my shoes getting ruined to make her laugh,” Matt joked, “I’m just lucky these weren’t my favorite pair.”

“I don’t even know if they still sell your favorite ones,” Nick told him.

“My luck, probably not. I’ll have to get a new pair, though,” Matt frowned, “There’s that store there in Jacksonville; they’ve got a good selection. Maybe we can hit them up tomorrow after we get back?”

“Sounds good to me—Ree, wanna come with us?”

“I dunno….” She replied softly.

“C’monnnn,” Matt enticed her, “We need you there to ensure we don’t spend five grand on shoes again.”

“And for you to tell us that the ones we like look like shit,” Nick added, causing another giggle from Emery. This one, however, was fuller and pronounced- almost a full laugh.

“Okay, okay. I’ll go,” Emery conceded, “But only so that you don’t spend a ridiculous amount and get into trouble with Dana and Ellen.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” Nick told her.

“We should be there around noon, but we’ll text you when we get to the hotel.”

“Sounds good… I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Emery said.

Nick said, “See ya then,” at the same time that Matt replied, “We’ll see ya.”

“And guys…?”

“Yeah?” Matt answered.

“… Thank you,” Emery told them, a soft smile on her face.

“Any time, sweetheart,” Nick replied.

“Love you, angel face,” Matt added.

“Love you too.”

With that, the phone call ended, leaving Emery in what was once her self-induced prison. Taking a deep breath, she stood up from the floor and crossed her room; slowly, her arms parted the curtain, letting the sunlight flow into her once-dark room. She knew she had to shower—but more prominent was the rumbles of hunger coming from her stomach that she had ignored for close to five days. Deciding to get something to eat first, Emery smiled at how lucky she was to have the friends she did. Her teen years were not the best and were marred by darkness, but since then, she had come a long way. She should be—and was—proud of herself for getting to where she was in life, and despite the ugly moments that sometimes hit her hard, she was doing just fine.

Next Day

After the Bucks had landed and were settled into their respective hotel rooms, they had sent Emery a text, telling her where and when to meet them. A quarter past two, she left her apartment for the first time in days and ventured outside and amongst the living.

The previous day had been spent on her, focusing on healing and self-appreciation. A bubble bath, face mask, cleaning up her apartment, eating actual meals, and slowly catching up on her messages and notifications.

Arriving at the mall five minutes past three, Emery walked through the parking lot and into the large Nike shoe store. It didn’t take her long to find her friends, who had already begun slowly walking the store to see what they had in stock.

“Hey, there she is,” Nick smiled as he saw her approach. He wrapped his arms around her in a hug and held her secure for a solid minute before releasing her- but Matt quickly took his place and engulfed her in another tight hug. It wasn’t a bone-crushing one, but more of a ‘please remember I love you and you are not alone; I love you so much, and I don’t want to lose you’ kind of hug. It helped to ground her and help her feel more connected to the life she was grateful even to have.

“Glad you could make it,” Matt smirked as he let her go.

“Thanks for the invite.”

“We know shoe shopping is—weirdly enough, not your thing,” Nick shrugged, “But it’s been a while since we hung out, aside from work-related stuff.”

“Very true,” Emery nodded in agreement, “And I do enjoy shoe shopping—just not for shoes that cost the same amount as I pay for rent.”

“They don’t cost that much!” Matt argued, a smile on his face.

“You guys buy two to four pairs each time, and at one-fifty to two hundred per pair?” Emery told him, “Do I need to do the math for you?”

“Even if we bought four pairs at two hundred, that’s only eight hundred, which is still less than you pay for rent,” Nick frowned as Emery looked at him incredulously.

“It’s still a huge chunk of what could be my rent, though! It’s too much! One pair of shoes for fifty dollars is enough for me, which usually lasts three years.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Matt waved her off before turning around to resume searching the wall, “Regardless, help us find some new ones.”

“You guys are insane,” Emery rolled her eyes playfully before she started scanning the wall, “What about those Air Force 1’s up there? The multi-colored one?”

“We already got a pair.”

“Of course you do. Okay, what about these Air Jordan 1 retro’s?” Emery questioned, pointing at the blue, white, and gray shoe near her.

“Got it already.”

“This is insane. You guys have—how many shoes? Two hundred? Three hundred? Everything I point to, you probably already have.”

“We don’t have that many,” Nick recoiled defensively, a smirk on his face.

“Might as well have,” Emery side-eyed him, poking her tongue out at him.

“Just keep pointing out any you see,” Matt smiled as they continued searching.

An hour later, after pointing out what seemed like at least a hundred different shoes, both brothers had three pairs chosen. They had even picked out a pair for Kenny and Brandon as gifts, which Emery couldn’t really argue with them over since it was a gift and not for them. As Matt placed his on the counter to begin checking out, Emery looked around and noticed that Nick had disappeared.

“Hey, where’s Nick?”

“Hmm? Oh, I think he said something about having an employee check if they had a certain shoe in the back,” Matt shrugged before deciding to add the shoes for Kenny and Brandon to his order.

“Of course he did.”

Nick rejoined them shortly after, carrying two boxes of shoes that he then added to his three boxes, ignoring the glare he got from Emery.

“Really, Nicolas? Five pairs of shoes?” she asked despairingly.

“Hey, two are gifts,” Nick replied, waiting as the cashier scanned the boxes and opened each to check them.

“You guys want to grab a bite to eat?” Matt asked as Emery looked over at him.

“We could—if you guys are hungry.”

“Sounds good to me. I think there’s a Steak and Shake and Wendy’s right across the parking lot,” Nick nodded as he paid for his order.

“Let’s do Steak and Shake- we’ll probably do Wendy’s with Kenny and Brandon at some point in the next day,” Matt laughed.

“Sounds good to me!” Emery smiled as they walked out of the store. The brothers followed Emery to her car, claiming they were parked in the same direction, exchanging a glance that Emery failed to notice. When they reached her vehicle, she turned around and looked at them curiously.

“So… are we driving the short distance or just gonna walk there?”

“We could walk it,” Matt shrugged.

“Then… probably put your shoes in your car? Or are you gonna carry them with you?” Emery questioned, confused.

“Yeah, we could put them in our car,” Nick nodded, “So while we put ours away, stash this in your trunk.”

He held out one of his bags towards her, and as she looked at it in confusion, then up to his blue eyes, it dawned on her.

“You—you didn’t,” she muttered softly, shoulders slumping slightly, “Guys, I told you before, don’t get me any of those expensive shoes—”

“Yeah, well, we ignored that,” Nick shrugged, keeping his hand held out towards her.

“Ree, you’re family,” Matt said, his brown eyes warmly looking at her, “We care a lot about you—and when family is feeling down and depressed—you do anything to make them feel better. Every time I’ve been down, you’re always there for me, so let us be there for you. Let us do this—for you.”

“You guys,” Emery whispered, her eyes tearing up instantly. She nudged past Nick’s outstretched arm and wrapped her own arms around both brothers, hugging both at once. Pulling away and stepping back, Emery used the back of her hands to dry the tears that had fallen.

“Fine—but if you insist on buying me things, make it not-shoes. Buy me other things, sparkly things, anything. Just not shoes,” Emery told them, gently taking the bag from Nick.

“Can’t promise anything,” the younger Jackson smirked mischievously, earning a playful glare from Emery.

“Which ones did you get me?” she asked, peering into the bag to view the tags on the boxes. One box was labeled ‘Air Max 90 Unlocked Prom Edition,’ and the other read ‘Air Max 90 Futura’.

“Ones that you’ll like. Besides—if you’re joining us ringside, you gotta at least look like a Jackson,” Nick joked.

“You got the hair, eyes, and attitude. Just missing the shoes,” Matt smiled.

Looking up from the boxes, she smiled warmly at the brothers, “Thank you. Really.”

“Anytime.”

“Like we said. You’re family—and we take care of family.”

To her, they were the best family she could have ever wished for; one that she never imagined having, but counted her lucky stars that she had.

#aew #all elite wrestling #imagine #fanfiction #dark angel of the bullet club #matt jackson #nick jackson #young bucks #OC #original female character #OC Emery #wholesome fluff #sibling relationship #kitkat0723

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