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project-pnf-404 · 3 years

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Checkpoint and important updates 2!!: Electric boogaloo!!

Heyo guys!! Long time no talk. So, I’ve got some cool update stuff to show you guys. I’ve been doing a lot of blog “housekeeping” since the end of the last event. (don’t worry it hopefully won’t be boring update stuff lmao as it includes some new supplementary content). So, first and foremost, thanks to the inspiration from @koppais-smallest-nerd I’d like to let you guys know that I am now adding screen reader access to all future posts!!! This one included. At the bottom of each post under the, “read more”, image descriptions for all images will be added! Screen reader accessibility will also be added to all previous asks on the blog. However, getting through all of them will take a tiny bit. As, of this update, the first 4 asks have had image descriptions added. As well as all the supplementary content in between where applicable.

I’d also like to show you guys some supplementary content for the blog. Between these dashed lines are in character day 1 log entries written by the rest of the crew.

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I originally wasn’t sure if I wanted to put these extra day 1 logs on the main blog or not. But, I’ve decided that all supplementary content that may be story related will remain on the main blog for the foreseeable future, while BTS content will end up on PNF-404-Plus.

That being said since the end of the 1st event and my time away from the blog a lot has been going on when it comes to the blog.

For one the entire desktop version of the blog has had a large overhaul. A new theme has been added to the main page.

But, not only that but new side pages with supplementary content have been added!! This includes an event list, a bio page for the crew members of the S.S Drake, a Piklopedia page for the new Piklopedia, and a music page to top it all off!!

The Event List will show each new event as they are added! You can click on the current known events to go directly to all posts tagged with that event tag. Speaking of which all Event 01 posts have now had their tags updated with the Event 01 tag making it much easier to navigate.

The new Crew Members page has bios for all the members currently on the mission or known in the story so far! These Bios are pretty in line with cannon with some fanon, and light headcanon added in for good measure. I recommend taking a look as it does have some interesting info in there. Also quick note: all of these bios are written as if it is prior to the beginning of the blog.

Then there’s the Piklopedia!! Here you can read each of their findings as they explore PNF-404! Currently the findings will be on each area they explore (not each creature they find) as they haven’t found any new creatures yet. There is also a map of places they’ve discovered and more!

Lastly, a new music page has been added. On this page, I’ve created event-inspired music playlists. Some of the songs have been mentioned in the past. But, here you can listen to them all in one place and see which songs are for which part of the events. As well there’s a secret songs playlist. This playlist has nothing to do with the blog directly but is filled with music given to me by people I’ve met from this community while I’ve been here!! Currently, there are 5 songs there, however, there will be more added in the future! What makes it secret is that you won’t know who gave me the song XD. (well unless you’re the one who gave me the song lmao) who knows if you’ve ever shared music with me before you may find your song there!! (There is also one song I’m sharing with you guys in there too so have fun figuring that out lmao. )

As well the table of contents has been once again updated with a lot of this new stuff as well as some other new information!! As for mobile users as of now, all of this is on separate Tumblr pages. However, in the near future, I will be uploading much of this stuff , such as the Piklopedia entries and Crew Bio’s, as individual posts! However, in the meantime, if you feel like you can always check out these pages on your phone browser instead if you’re a mobile-exclusive user. (Though some pages don’t look as good on phone)

Welp, I think that’s it as far as updates go!! I should be back with brand new ask posts soon (likely within the next week or so!) so keep a look out!! I’ll see ya guys again soon and thanks for reading!!!

In the first image, Alph’s Day 1 Log entry is shown. His log says, “To think I thought the first day would go well. Then again I didn’t think I would get sucked out of the ship either so maybe I should stop being so surprised. At the very least Louie and I were able to find our way back despite some obstacles and I was able to fix the ship in time. Though if it weren’t for Chunks we would have never found the pikmin we did. That little guy sure saved the day.

However, Then there's what happened to Brittany… To see her in a situation like that... I can’t even bear to think about it. Tomorrow I will be checking over the entirety of the Drake to make sure a crash like that doesn't happen again. I can't help but think that the crash was due to me overlooking something during maintenance... However, The only thing I can do now is to make sure something like this never happens again for all our sake, especially Brittanys’. “ It is then sighed by Alph

In the second Image Charlies Day 1 Log entry can be read it says, “I should have been on top of things. As this crew’s captain, everything that went wrong was under my watch and things should have gone much smoother. That being said I am very glad that all of my crew have made it out alive. Though I am still worried about Brittany. If only I was able to keep her safe…

But, at this point, we all must press forward. We have a task to complete and after seeing how devastated some areas are, we must get to the bottom of what’s wrong with PNF-404. Nothing will get in my way, not with my steely fists that is!!” It is then signed by Charlie

In the third image Louies’ day 1 log entry can be seen it says,

“

Going back to the pikmin planet wasn’t at the top of my list of things I thought I’d be doing anytime soon. Yet somehow I find myself back here and stranded again…. At least I wasn’t fully alone this time…

Alph and I eventually found a pikmin that we later named Chunks. He sure acts differently in comparison to any other Pikmin I’ve seen before. But, even still, if it weren’t for Chunks, we wouldn’t have been able to help Brittany or find any other pikmin for that matter. So, we should thank him for that.” It is then signed by Louie

In the fourth image the updated version of the Project: PNF-404 Tumblr is shown. It now has a bright cyan futuristic aesthetic to it. In the fifth image a picture of the new events page, listing all the past and future events planned so far is shown. It has 1 known event Titled Event 01. The other 3 are titled Event unknown. In the sixth image, the new crew members’ character page is shown. A picture of Olimar is shown along with a description of his traits and a biography. It reads as follows,

CAPTAIN OLIMAR

AGE 38

ALIAS(ES)Olimar

SPECIES Hocotatian

GENDER Male

TITLE(S) Employee of Hocotate Freight, Xenobiologist

AFFILIATION Hocotate Freight, Planet Hocotate Government

Fatherly, well-meaning, and resourceful, for an almost 40 year old Hocotatian he has a lot of bravery and guts. Olimar first and foremost loves his family and cares deeply for others around him. A Hardworking employee of Hocotate Freight and family man, Olimar tends to try and stay level-headed while looking out for others.

Having been one of the first to visit the Pikmin planet Olimar has extensive knowledge of the planet's life. Lucky for him he just so happens to have gone to college for xenobiology. Many of his findings can be found within his many log entries known as the Piklopedia.

But, for as much as Olimar tends to be on top of things, his trips to the pikmin planet have had him face many dangers and life-threatening events. Though these issues are not something he brings up…

In the seventh image, The new Piklopidea page is shown, In one section it displays a map of PNF-404 with 2 marked locations. The first of which is highlighted in blue is named the “Silent Stream” the second, is highlighted in orange, Its title is “Glacial Gardens”. To the right of that is a description introduction for the Piklopedia. It says” To help ensure the progress and success of this mission all crew members must write down their findings in this log. Overview:

CAPTAIN Olimar: Writes In-depth biological analysis of fauna and how the ecosystem affects said fauna.

LOUIE: Writes about Recipes and ingredients that can be found in each area. ALPH: Looks at the area with the eyes of an engineer. He uses this insight to discuss the benefits and flaws of what he’s analyzing. BRITTANY: Uses her botanist skills to look into the flora of the area along with talking about the aesthetics of things and adding in her own general opinions.

CAPTAIN CHARLIE: Writes about combat strategy and how one can use the environment in an area for a tactical advantage.

To the left is a map showing the current locations discovered by the crew. The one highlighted in orange has yet to be explored.

The final image shows the new music page! 6 playlists can be selected on the left each having 5 songs. To the right is an image of the event 01 cover art. With (from left to right), Brittnay, Charlie, Olimar, Louie, and Alph all looking up with a distressed expression on their faces.

END ID

#pikmin #supplementary content #alph #louie #charlie #ooc #Event 01 #not an ask #update #man why are my posts always so long XD #I’m writing most of this in the middle of the night I’m really tired #tomorrow imma look at this and be like what the heck did I write lmao

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: Picture Perfect

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: A whole day with Ben's family and no way to escape. How will you survive? And will any rules be left intact by the end of the night?

Warnings: SMUT (finally lmao), nothing like super kinky but it is explicit, plus the usual stuff, drinking, mention of smoking.

Words: 6284

A/N: ARE YA'LL READY FOR THIS? smut scene is marked with a *** so you can skip it if you like.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @tenement-funstah @taron-egrotten @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @thefairyfellersmasterstroke @queenlover05

@coni-martina @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff @pattieboydwannabe @maggieroseevans @theprettyandthereckless @im-an-adult-ish

A week later you were in the passenger seat of Ben’s car, your bags in the back, watching the scenery pass by. You found your eyes drawn to him more often than usual but he didn’t seem to notice. Maybe it was that he was so focused on the road and the traffic around you or maybe it was because you were playing I spy and a few glances from the person who’d spied the object were expected. I spy was a good game. Distracting enough to focus your mind on something other than wanting Ben. For the most part at least. “And we can definitely still see it?” “Yuuuuuuup,” you popped the ‘p’ and glanced over at Ben again. “And it starts with ‘M’ but isn’t ‘Mazda’ like what’s driving behind us, or Mars Bar like what I was just eating?”” “Nope,” you popped the p again and laughed, “d’you want a clue?” “Go on then, otherwise we’ll be stuck like this all day,” “We’ve been following them since we got on the motorway,” Ben’s forehead creased as he thought about your clue, “Truck doesn’t start with ‘M’,” “Clever boy. You deserve a gold star for that one,” “Bite me,” You laughed and gave in to the temptation to look at him again, noting the crease of his forehead as he thought about your clue, “Should I just tell you?” “Fine, I’m never going to get it at this rate,” “I spy with my little eye a mudflap girl. Two of them actually,” “What the fuck is a mudflap girl?” You pointed at the silhouette on the tuck’s mudflaps, “Her. The chick with the stupidly pinched in waist and big knockers.” “Is that what they’re called?” “What knockers?” “No, I’m perfectly familiar with those,” Ben laughed and you whistled teasingly, willing your mind to stop picturing what it was picturing “Shush, I meant the mudflap girls, is that what they’re called?” “Yeah. You didn’t know?” He shook his head slightly, “Never really came up.” “Sorry, would have picked something else if I’d realised,” “‘s fine. Just means I won’t hold back with the next one.” You’d been a little nervous at the prospect of driving hours with just Ben for company, still coming to grips with the fact you wanted to knock boots with him. You couldn’t even think about it in direct language, just roundabout phrases your mum used to use. But, thankfully, all your concerns had disappeared the moment you got into the car, infected by Ben’s bright smile and insistence that he’d make it fun. His definition of fun was a lot of classic driving games, hence the I Spy, plenty of road trip snacks, and a healthy dose of a specially curated driving playlist. You’d made fun of him for including I’m In Love With My Car on it but he just turned it up louder and sang it at you which only made you laugh more. It stopped any awkwardness or uncomfortable silences in their tracks. But all the laughter and playful teasing was just another reminder of how close you were and that made you think about how badly you wanted to do the dirty with him, hear him whining your name, feel his hands all over you, cuddle up with him and doze as he read to you. You shook your head as the third image sprang to the forefront of your mind. That wasn’t right. Bumping uglies was one thing but dozing was out of the question. Unless it was in a post-coital come down of course. Not that any of it mattered since you weren’t going to act on it. Joe had made it very clear that something actually happening was a bad idea. Although, looking at Ben now he didn’t seem to be that bad off. Certainly not white knuckling it as Joe had said. He was happy and bubbly and you couldn’t see a single sign of him falling apart. What did Joe know anyway? He lived so far away, how could he possibly know what was good for Ben or, for that matter, you.

Halfway there you found a place to pull up so you could stretch your legs and refresh your snacks but then it was back into the car for the second leg of the trip, winding through the traffic until it thinned out and you pulled up outside a nice white house with a tidy yard. “This is it?” you asked, the nerves back in full force. “Yeah, you good?” You just nodded your head but Ben gave your hand a reassuring squeeze, “Remember the plan, yeah? Hold hands as much as we can, look as loved up as possible, just like what we do for the cameras. What’s our story?” “Met at the audition for Edith since you’d already been cast. Hung out a lot as prep for the movie. You asked me out a couple of days before filming began and we dated secretly for a while but then, partway through filming, we were caught by paparazzi and decided to be open about it.” “Very good. What el- shit, no time for the rest of the pop quiz, the front door just opened.” “It’s okay, I’m good. We’ve been doing this for months now, it’s just more of the same.” Ben nodded and then let your hand go so he could get out of the car. You opened your door and stepped out, smoothing out your skirt, your hand cold outside of Ben’s grasp. But he fixed the problem, taking your hand again as he led you towards the front door and the person who’d come out onto the driveway. He squeezed your hand again. “Hi mum. This is Y/N,” “Well it’s about time,” his mum said, already stepping forward to hug you, forcing you to drop Ben’s hand “lovely to meet you, darling.” “Pleasure to meet you too Mrs Jones,” you smiled politely as she stepped back. “Oh, Angela, please,” her hands were still on your shoulders as she examined your appearance, “Gosh aren’t you pretty.” You managed to stutter out a thank you, suddenly feeling much more shy than you normally would have. “Oh c’mon mum, let her go.” “I’m just saying she’s beautiful, what’s wrong with that?” but her hands fell from you as she turned her attention to Ben, “I still think you’re very handsome too Ben. Need a bit of a haircut though.” He rolled his eyes but hugged her all the same. “Mikey’s already there setting up with your father and I expect you’ll be giving him a hand soon?” “Can I not have five minutes out of the car before I get piled up with chores?” Ben whined as you both followed her inside.

She led you on a brief tour of the house, pointing out where the bathrooms were and coming to an end at Ben’s old room where you’d be staying. She promised you enough time to grab your bags and freshen up before you’d be asked to help and then she headed back towards the front of the house. You peeked inside the bedroom door hoping to see what teenage Ben’s sense of style was but it had since been redecorated. “Don’t look so disappointed,” Ben laughed, “Mum had the whole house redone a few years ago and it didn’t make sense to keep my room how it was.” “Please tell me there’s photos here somewhere,” “Probably but you’re not seeing them,” “You have to tell me something, I’m your girlfriend and I need to know.” “Fuck off, you do not,” “Please?” you extended the word in a childish whine, pouting at him until he broke. “What d’you want to know then?” “What’d you have on your walls? Band posters?” Ben laughed, “Uhhh, a few sports things – my favourite teams and that. Some girls with big tits leaning all over cars…Couple of theatre posters too,” “Nerd,” “Shut up,” he laughed again, pushing against your shoulder, “Sorry about Mum by the way,” “It’s totally fine,” “I promise it’ll all be over soon,” You were taken aback as he wrapped you up in a tight hug but very happily relaxed against him. Carefully, so as not to break the moment you looked up at him only to find him looking back at you. It was the closest you’d been since the almost-kiss in the hotel. Sure, you’d been close, even hugged before, but not in this long, lingering way and even then, it was mostly just in public. A sharp knock at the door made you break apart. “Sorry to rush you but Mikey’s just called asking after you. Better get a move on,” “Who’s Mikey?” you asked, refusing to acknowledge the tension in the air. “My brother, Michael. S’pose we should crack on. You’ve got about twelve bags to pull from the car.” “Fuck off, it’s only two and one of them’s a hand bag. Plus, it’s you’re fault for not being more specific about dress code.” You hadn’t known exactly what to pack and got no clear answer when you’d asked, so you’d packed a few different outfit options, from casual jeans and a nice blouse to a slightly more fancy little black dress, the clutch you’d taken to the French restaurant packed with it in case you needed a stylish purse. “You’re such a drama queen. Just help me with them yeah?”

You would have known he was Ben’s brother even before you’d heard about him. His face was thinner and his shoulders less broad but they had the same smile, same eyes. He was lovely too, jumped down off a chair and dropped the coil of fairy lights he’d been holding so he could shake your hand and introduce himself. Then came their dad, maybe not quite as warm as their mum but just as welcoming. Both you and Ben were handed lengths of lights and sent off to find places to hang them. Inside it wasn’t necessary since the restaurant was already lit up, staff busting about making sure everything was ready for that afternoon. So Ben led you away from the big open door, into the beer garden. It was mostly paved, small shoots of grass sprouting up through the bricks, though there was also a large strip of grass at the very end of the yard. Ben’s brother and dad were on one side of the yard, securing their lights to the fence so you and Ben headed straight for the grassy end where the light of the restaurant wouldn’t quite reach. “Wait here a sec,” Ben said, handing you his coil of lights and turning back towards the paved area. You watched as he dragged on of the sturdy wooden tables over to you. At the first scrape of the wood on the brick he looked inside to see if anyone was going to go mad at him but, aside from his family members, no one noticed. When he finally got it in position, he climbed up onto the table and held out his hand for the lights. You kept lookout as he wound the wire around a tree branch and then jumped down again, handing the end of the lights to you so you could wrap it around the tree trunk and secure the battery pack out of harm’s way, as he pushed the table back into place. It wasn’t long before the yard was covered with lights extending from the doorway all the way to the fence that blocked the yard from the road. Of course, all that work meant you deserved a drink so, by the time Ben’s mum and other family members began arriving in the late afternoon, you were already halfway through your first glass. Ben gave you a running commentary of everyone who walked into the restaurant. “That’s my cousin and her daughter. And the couple behind her are my,” he thought for a moment, “Well let’s call them cousin’s too because I don’t know how seconds and removals work. The bald guy over there talking to Mum is my great uncle. And the woman who just waved is an Aunt. Whatever you do, don’t mention her son. He’s had a run in with the law and it’s a touchy subject.” “Noted. But shit, when you said family get together you really meant it,” “Yeah,” Ben laughed, “The Jones’ don’t do things by halves. ‘Specially not when there’s drinking involved.”

As the place began to fill Ben took you around to meet people. You felt a little like the ball in a pinball machine, bouncing from one person to another, introducing yourself and then moving on to someone else, almost immediately forgetting any names you’d just been told. It was almost like doing interviews again except with more movement and more alcohol. Ben kept a hold of you, either interlocking his fingers with yours or else wrapping his arm around your waist, keeping you close to his side, only letting you go to grab you another drink or light up a cigarette. At one point you had a small crowd gathered beside you, all pointing out things they’d seen in magazines or on the internet about you, all wanting to hear about how you met. Thankfully you’d become quite practiced at telling the story. “We met at the audition actually,” Ben said, “I had the part but they wanted to try me with different actresses to find someone that would work well on screen. I’d met, I don’t know, eight or nine women and then Y/N came into the room. She looked kinda nervous,” You shook your head in disagreement but Ben ignored you. “but we got a chance to say hi before we had to read the lines and we just clicked.” “Our director really liked us together so I got a call back and we did another scene,” “So they could, y’know, see us kiss, make sure the chemistry was there.” “They must have liked it because I got the part. We did a couple of weeks of all this, um, like, bonding stuff. The rest of the main cast was there too but me and Ben had a few one on one things because we were playing a couple that was already engaged so they wanted us to look really connected.” “Anyway, I wanted to ask her out after day one but I wasn’t sure if I should because we’d be working together,” “I took a little longer to see him in that light but he was so sweet and charming and fun to be around, and by the end of the week I was thinking the same thing. Only neither of us wanted to make the first move because if it wasn’t mutual then it could make the next few months of work really awkward.” “Eventually one of the other actors pointed out how into me she was so I asked her out for a coffee and it went from there.” He returned your smile and then pulled you closer into his side, dropping a kiss to the top of your head as you leaned against his chest. “Well your casting director knew what they were doing because you two are adorable together.” A few more questions followed but eventually Ben was able to extract you from the crowd with the excuse you needed more drinks. “Actually, I gotta run to the loo, I’ll bring some food back with me though, okay?” “Okay, I’m gonna grab another cocktail, you want anything?” “Beer’d be great,” “Sure thing, babe,” He smiled again as he left you but you were smiling too. There was something fun about the act. Even with everything that had happened and how mixed up and hard it had been at times, an evening like this was fun. He made you laugh and made sure you felt comfortable in what could have easily been an extremely uncomfortable situation. Plus, it meant you got to indulge the part of you that was still fantasising about being with him. You were allowed to kiss him and touch him because you were acting. There was no confusion about why, no worries about if you were crossing the line you’d put down, nothing to stop you from enjoying it. So what if occasionally your fantasies extended beyond just doing the horizontal tango? It wasn’t so bad to think about cuddling up in front of the TV with him.

Drinks in hand you headed back to where Ben had disappeared, trying to spot him in the crowd. “Y/N!,” You spun round to see who was talking, finding yourself face to face with Ben’s mum again. Angela, you reminded yourself. “Come join us over here,” she said leading you to a table where a few others sat, “You’ve met my husband Keith already, yes? And this is Doug and Katherine. This is Y/N, Ben’s girlfriend.” You took a seat and chatted with them, glancing around for Ben every so often. Eventually Doug and Katherine got up to talk to someone else and Keith went off in search of more food, leaving you and Angela alone. “Now, darling, Ben tells me you’ve got a work thing to get back home for tomorrow so you’ll be leaving a bit earlier than originally planned.” Angela said, patting your hand. “Yeah, um, it’s an audition,” you lied. It was a cover Ben had come up with so you didn’t get guilted into staying an extra day. “Well that does sound important. I’m sad we won’t have longer to get to know you though. I must admit, I saw a photo of you and Ben a while ago and I was hoping he’d bring you up because you just looked so lovely. And you obviously make him very happy, which is of course what every mother hopes for. So you have to come back soon so we can have a proper chat. Make a weekend of it or something.” You were a little taken aback, stunned to hear how much of an impact you’d had without meaning to. It made you feel a bit guilty. This was Ben’s family and you weren’t part of it, you shouldn’t be there. But you swallowed the doubts, tried to ignore how much you wanted it all to be real, and smiled back at her, “I’d love that. Just say when.” “Oh now don’t tempt me or I’ll have the date picked out before the end of the night. I don’t want to jump the gun or seem too forward but just seeing how you two are together…I hope you know you’re welcome in our family. Ben loves you a lot, I can tell.” “I know. And it’s very kind of you,” “I mean it darling. And if the next family get together was your wedding, well….but of course that’s neither here nor there.” You laughed it off but your insides were churning. “So this is where you got to,” Ben’s voice interrupted as he dropped into the seat beside you and lay his hand on your knee. You hadn’t realised your leg had been bouncing but you stopped it the moment he touched you. “I was just telling Y/N that you should come back again soon, when there’s no auditions to interrupt your stay.” “Sure, Mum,” Ben said, still touching your leg. You chatted for a bit longer until she got distracted enough for Ben to lean into your ear and softly ask, “You okay? Or do you want to get out of here?” “Please,” you whispered back. “Okay, follow me,” He took your hand and told his mum he wanted to introduce you to someone but you barely heard it, your head buzzing as you made a polite exit and let Ben lead you outside, making excuses to anyone who tried to stop you. As soon as you were clear of the venue he pulled out his phone to find a car, one hand on your lower back, rubbing soft circles over your shirt until you felt you could breathe easy again. “Better?” “Thank you. How’d you know?” He shrugged, “I just know you. I saw your leg bouncing and figured Mum had said something,” “She mentioned us getting married,” “What? Why the fuck would that have come up?” “It was just a passing comment but I….” You half shrugged, trying to find the right words. “It’s okay, c’mon, let’s go home you can tell me everything.” You nodded and let him hug you as you waited for the car.

Once you were inside Ben grabbed a couple of glasses from the kitchen and then headed into the dining room. “Thank you dad,” he mumbled as he pulled a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label out of a cupboard and turned to show you, “He’s kept a stash of this stuff in here since I was a kid. Got in trouble for stealing some a couple of times.” “Better not let him find out about this then,” you laughed, feeling more relaxed now that it was just you and Ben, a sizeable distance from the rest of the party. Ben chuckled along as he poured a little into each glass and carefully replaced the bottle, “So what happened back there?” “I don’t know,” you accepted your glass and took a sip, leaning against the corner of the table. Ben didn’t cut in, he just took his own drink and waited until you could say more. “I guess it was just harder to be around your family than I was expecting. It wasn’t the same as sitting in a restaurant on a date,” you drew the quotation marks in the air with your fingers, “That was a room full of people who care about you and they were all so lovely and welcoming and your mum said she’d been hoping you’d bring me here since she saw a photo of us and invited me back so she could get to know me and I said I’d love to because what else could I say and she seemed so happy about it and so pleased that you’re so happy and I feel so guilty about lying to them all. What if they find out? Your mum’ll be so disappointed.” “Don’t worry about lying to them, I’ve done it plenty before,” when you didn’t laugh he put his glass down beside you and took you free hand in his, “Seriously, Y/N, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. The premiere is coming up in a couple of weeks and then pretty soon after that we’ll break up and I’ll tell them it just wasn’t working, and they’ll accept it and never have to know the truth. And then we can forget this whole thing and move on.” You weren’t so sure that was what you wanted anymore, but you weren’t sure enough to say it. Instead you put your glass down as well and said, “but it must be hard for you too. Having me here and everything.” It was only when you looked at him that you realised how close you were standing. He was still holding your hand, his thumb rubbing back and forth over your fingers. “I’m a big boy, I can handle it.” You weren’t sure what compelled you to do it, the drink maybe, or just pent up sexual tension, but he was so close and he was looking at you with those eyes and before you could stop yourself you leaned in to kiss him. He seemed a bit shocked, taking half a step back, and you were sure he was going to tell you it wasn’t a good idea and then leave you standing there alone. But then his hand was on your jaw as he kissed you back, all hesitancy gone. You felt him sigh against you as if he’d been holding his breath, waiting for this to happen again, and pulled him in closer.

***

Maybe it was the months without sex, or maybe it was how often your mind had conjured similar scenes, or maybe it was just how good it felt to have him press you against the table to kiss you again, but whatever the reason it wasn’t long until you were pushing the hem of his shirt up over his stomach. He took the hint and stopped kissing you just long enough to pull it over his head, quickly finding your lips again as his fingers worked on the buttons of your shirt. He got about halfway through and then stopped, instead dropping his hands to your arse so he could lift you up and carry you up the hall towards his room. He kicked the door shut once he was through it and pressed you against it, kissing you as if to make up for lost time. It was a heady experience, being pinned to the door, your legs wrapped around him as you kissed messily. Too much and not enough all at once. You needed him closer still and clutched at his shoulders to try and make him understand. Either he really could read you well or he wanted the same thing because a moment later there was no longer a door behind you, Ben taking the few steps towards the bed and letting himself drop to the mattress. He pushed your shirt from your shoulders, no longer needing to hold you up, and ran his hands over your sides as if trying to map out he lines of your body. A whine escaped you as your need to remove layers grew and you dropped your hands to his belt, fumbling blindly with the buckle. A voice in your head told you it was a bad idea. You still weren’t certain of your feelings, weren’t sure doing this would cure you of them or if it’d just make everything messier than it already was. But the voice got quieter with every shift of your hips and every stroke of his fingers. “You’ve no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” he mumbled against your neck. All you could manage was a small whimper of agreement as he kissed you again, and traced his fingers up to the clasp of your bra. It was on the floor in seconds, his hands replacing the material, only making you want more. You arched your back into his touch, panted against his lips. He smiled, circled a nipple with his thumb, delighted in your response.

Suddenly he flipped you over so you were sitting on the bed, kissed you again and then stood up. “Ben?” you were worried he was going to put an end to things before they got too far. Thankfully he didn’t, just shucked off his pants. You almost laughed in relief as he leaned over you again, making quick work of the fastening of your skirt so it too could join the clothing on the floor. The voice in your head was gone, silenced by the pure desperate need to have him touch you more, and he was making no moves to stop it either as you shuffled further up the bed, pulling him along with you. You let out a choked off moan as he kissed a trail down your neck, tilted your head to the side so he could reach all the spots that made you gasp. But it still wasn’t enough. You were going to go crazy with need if you didn’t get something more soon, so you let your hand fall between you, rubbed your palm over the front of his boxers, felt him rock his hips against your hand, already hard. He sat back on his knees so he could slip your underwear down your legs. “Fuck,” he groaned as soon as he realised how wet you were. You grabbed his wrist and put his hand between your legs, hoping he’d take the hint. He did, trailing his fingers between your lips, over your clit. Your breath caught as he slipped a lone digit into you, slowly, easing you into it before he added a second. He watched you closely, eyes half lidded and soft, the tip of his tongue poking out from between his teeth like he was concentrating on memorizing every inch of you, inside and out. Even in that moment, when your breaths were coming shaky and uneven, and your skin was burning under his gaze, even then all you could think was how hot he looked, hair ruffled, lips kiss swollen, completely enraptured by you. He shifted his finger slightly and your eyes fluttered shut. “There, babe, fuck, right there,” you sighed. “Like that?” he asked softly, twitching his fingers against you again. You nodded though he drew a more vocal response from you a few seconds later when he added a third finger and leaned down to suck your nipple between his lips. He hummed when he heard you say his name and repeated the same motion in the same place, so you said his name again, louder, and then again and again as he kept going, hitting you exactly where you needed him. You were almost surprised by how quickly he managed to pull you over the edge. Almost. But it had been a while and he’d always promised he was good. He worked you through it before he carefully withdrew his fingers and kissed you again, stealing what little breath you had left.

And then he stopped. Sat back again. You blinked your eyes open and reached for him as he leaned over the edge of the bed, opened the draw of the beside cabinet and swore. Pulling himself back towards you he took your outstretch hand and kissed the back of it, “I don’t have any condom’s here,” he sounded apologetic. “I have some, wait,” you kissed him quickly before you stood, a little unsteady, and opened the wardrobe door, thankful Felicity had given you the handful of them and that you’d brought the bag with you. He looked like he was about to ask why but the sight of you climbing onto the bed, straddling him, with one hand on his chest to lay him down, made the question die in his throat. He let his head fall back onto the pillow as you pulled his underwear off and rolled the condom on as quick as you could manage. And then you sank down onto him, trying to take your time. “Fuck,” you whined, pausing to give you both a moment to adjust. His hand grabbed onto your waist, fingertips pressing into you, encouraging you to move. It was soft but not quite, both of you panting and groaning as you raised and lowered yourself on him, building up to a steady rhythm. His hands roamed over you, grabbing your arse the way he had done on his couch, moving over your breasts, squeezing your hips, gentle but firm pulling you to speed up each time. You needed to be closer though, so you leaned down to kiss him again, grunting at the change of position. But it interrupted your flow, made you stutter out of time, so Ben propped himself up on his elbows, and then when that wasn’t enough, sat up fully, his knees rising behind you. One hand was braced on your back to keep you steady as you circled your hips, the other cupped your cheek as his forehead leaned against yours, every uneven breath audible, able to feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest under your palm. “I love you,” he sighed, his nose bumping against yours as he searched for your lips again. You were on the verge of repeating his words back to him when he dropped his hand from your cheek, let it fall between you and brush against your clit, the confession lost in your moan. “You gonna c-cum for me?” You nodded, leaning into his neck as you did your best to keep riding him, legs shaking with the effort and your approaching release. He didn’t let up until you were crying out into his shoulder, following close behind you with his own moan.

***

You lost track of how long you sat there, leaning against each other as you came down, lost track of where you were, lost track of the reality of your relationship. Your instinct was to keep clinging to Ben, keep kissing along his jaw and nose as you pulled yourselves back together. But it was too much for him. He let go of you suddenly, as if just touching you was painful. “I’ve gotta…” he said with a half hearted nod in the direction of the doorway. “Oh. Right, yeah,” you climbed off him, trying not to react to the sudden emptiness, the sudden cool of the air outside of his embrace. Ben moved to the edge of the bed, glanced at you, ran his hand through his hair. “I wasn’t expecting that to happen,” you offered somewhat lamely, not sure how to explain everything you were feeling. “Neither. Are you okay?” “Yeah. I, um, it was really good and I-I think I kind of needed it.” This was it. There was no more running from what you were feeling. No more pretending it was platonic or just physical. You had to come clean, to yourself as much as to Ben. Ben smiled but it was a pained kind of smile, “It was good for me too. Really good. But it can’t ever happen again.” He stood up before you could say anything else, tied off the condom and put his boxers back on, making a hasty retreat. Something stirred in your memory and you had the sudden urge to tell him he couldn’t leave you because he owed you a third orgasm, but it was too late. He was gone and you were left sitting there, naked and alone, waiting for him to come back so you could explain. When enough time had passed without his return you got up, put your pyjamas on and went to the bathroom, running on autopilot as you considered everything that had just happened. Maybe Ben was right to walk away. Maybe it had been a mistake. He probably wouldn’t believe you if you told him how you really felt. You’d taken too long to work it out, been too vocal about not feeling it. And it would be poor timing to say it right after you’d slept together. He’d think you were saying what he wanted to hear so he wouldn’t be embarrassed about saying it himself. And maybe it was down to all the tension between you. You’d spent all day pretending to be the loving girlfriend after all, maybe it had influenced you a bit, made you think you felt things you didn’t actually feel. But something that good, that tender, didn’t just happen with anyone, surely. It certainly hadn’t been like that with anyone else you’d been with casually. And you’d assumed that having sex with Ben would be the solution, that you’d finish and be fixed. No more thinking about him, no more wanting to be with him. But all you really wanted was to cuddle up beside him. Fall asleep in his arms. That wasn’t something you usually wanted from one night stands. Normally you’d want to get out as fast as possible not sit in their bedroom and wait for them. And the thought of everything else that could happen if he just knew it was what you wanted – waking up beside him, making him coffee, listening to him play stupid love songs on his stupid guitar, comforting him on bad days, being his actual fucking girlfriend and not just his pretend one – all of that sounded so fucking wonderful. It couldn’t just be endorphins making you feel like that. There had to be something of substance behind it all. Afterall they’d been there for a while now, those feelings. It wasn’t like the sex had conjured them. You’d been pretending not to notice them but they’d been there for months. So the only way forward was to tell him.

When you got back to the bedroom Ben was there, curled away from you on a makeshift bed on the floor. He could have been sleeping except his shoulder’s were too rigid, holding too much tension. “Ben?” He didn’t respond, just kept feigning sleep. So you switched out the light and tiptoed to the bed, crawling under the covers. The sheets still smelt like him and it made your heart ache. What if you just said it? You sat up, turned your head in his direction. “Ben?” it came out as more of a whisper than you’d have like so you tried again, “Ben, I-I-” If you said it now would he join you? Or would he pretend he hadn’t heard? You fell silent again at that thought, not sure you could cope with it. Maybe you’d just hold off for a bit. Wait until the premiere. Give yourself time to find the exact right words to explain your apparent change of heart. He couldn’t write you off as trying to spare him some embarrassment if you said it weeks after he’d let it slip in the throws of passion. He’d have to take you seriously then. “Goodnight,” you sighed, and lay down again, though try as you might, you couldn’t sleep. You lay there in the dark, sure Ben was just as awake as you were, with only one thought in your head. You loved Ben. And you didn’t know what to do about it.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy smut #i am so ready to hear your thots #please yell at me about this

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kwantified · 4 years

Text

nct dream on social media!

excluding weibo, messenger apps, and dating apps

note: this is purely my personal opinion. kinda inspired by my irls :)

mark

he loves to share what he does when he can

on instagram he’s the kinda guy who isn’t really... there

busy boy finding out about news a whole week late

when he posts stories it’s usually like... super vague pictures of music or lyrics he’s working on

probably one or two basic shots of food

AND ESPECIALLY

shares what he’s listening to on spotify I Kid You Not

if mark lee posts a story it’s probably going to be what he’s listening to on spotify

he’s more active on twitter because uh

memes

mostly quoted retweets tbh

his replies are always just “HAHAHAHAHA” or “LMAOOOO” and some goofy one-liner

has mutuals on stan twt because he likes to steal the memes

it’s honestly like ????

tweets mostly in english but korean is always there

you would find him laughing his ass off and why? because one of his mutuals tweeted something off of punhub

“can you perform under pressure?”

“no, but i can perform bohemian rhapsody”

“doctor, it hurts when i do this”

“then don’t do that”

I SWEAR TO GOD THIS DUDE HAS THE FUNNIEST TL

not only because of punhub trust me

he’s mostly on local twt just on about netflix shows and music because he doesn’t have enough to time rlly branch out into one community other than his own

has tried uploading his works on soundcloud but just feels more comfortable uploading covers and stuff on youtube

he’d accidentally get in everyone’s recommended because hey here’s a talented man on the guitar who’s goofy and cute

BUT ANYWAYS

overall since he’s a very busy person he’s not too active, but social media kind of gives him a little laugh every once in a while so that’s great

renjun

say it with me, instagram

the prettiest golden hour selfies

your resident pretty boy

says he Doesn’t Care About Fashion but then posts a body shot of his fit smh

can’t complain because he’s mad fine let’s be real here

he has an account for every single social media out there but isn’t always active on every account

i swear to god he;s made a linkedin account

the way he’s probably made a mf foursquare account…

he’s just such an all-around sociable guy he just has mutuals everywhere

i mean the entertainment industry is all about connections so

go get it reonjeon!

makes an appearance in everyone’s social media like he’s EVERYWHERE

jaemin’s instagram? check. jisung’s tiktok? check! chenle’s twitter? check. he’s in everyone’s mentions fr

his stories are always reposts of other posts and of the stories he’s tagged in

work socmed! he makes his career look so comfy and homey from his posts and stories

was one of those guys who used to be super active on snapchat but gave up after insta stories became a thing

mans stalks more people than you think… he’s just a sly dude

not in a creepy way ofc he just gets pretty lost within the internet

you could actually play any trending tiktok audio and you’d hear him sing along every word in the background… what has this mf been doin??? uhm???

sends posts he thinks are funny to ig and twt gcs

mostly to jisung because he’s the only one who actually leaves SOME sort of reaction whether it be double tapping the text or going ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

likes to visit pinterest every once in a while because it’s like a nice eye cleanse

it’s also good outfit and food inspiration in the cases that he feels like creating something non career related

in general he just likes looking for new ideas and sometimes pinterest is just a great outlet for a visual layout like that

renjun and jisung, THESE TWO

they scour the internet together

goin wild with the crack videos with jisung

jeno

this dude is nowhere

like. he has thousands of followers on instagram and for WHAT

twitter page: empty

snapchat: gave up after insta stories

insta stories: DOESN’T EVEN POST SO WHAT’S THE POINT

but he’s like almost always actively liking everything on your timeline

like... every post on your feed is “liked by jeno and xx others”

WHERE IS THIS DUDE

texting him becomes a game through all the different dm platforms online

like will he open his twitter dms today or will he only answer if you furiously facetime him

some days it’s katalk and somedays he just chooses to ignore you

PURPOSELY SO YOU HAVE TO CALL HIM

anyways when he does post on instagram it’s usually just his surroundings and daily activities

or his cats

yeah

does a lot of things with his friends so you’ll probably find him tagged in the dreamies’ stories

but not anywhere else for some reason

he’s more active on twitter!

he kind of feels more relaxed on twitter since it isn’t based on images

tweets out of context things

like a random “fml” out of nowhere and you’re like okay i guess

pretty vague too

doesn’t really make an effort to make any mutuals because it’s kind of like a vent place for him

stays on private

friends only so... about 30 followers and that’s it

people who follow his Instagram don’t really know his twt so it relieves him a bit

food videos on youtube

not mukbangs but like

very nice cooking videos

like have y’all heard of Nino’s Kitchen

he loves that shit BET

the greatest mix between dry sarcasm, humorous attacks and beautiful food

mans just likes real life interactions i guess

haechan

youtube addict!

gamer haechan

he could spend DAYS on youtube and just forget about time and space altogether

just finds the best rabbit holes to go into from music to snails to gaming to fancams

also on tiktok but his tiktok is on instagram ya feel

finds it stupid but so, so entertaining

loves watching those makeup and art tiktoks because they’re so well done

humor tiktoks on his explore page

number one edit fanatic

mans loves watching edits on instagram and how they’re so well made like

he’s truly one to appreciate art

his stories are uploaded on the weirdest times of day

want a video of him serenading the camera at two in the morning? sign yourself up

twitter is lowkey his diary

he just tweets whatever is happening all day errday

sometimes he completely forgets about the existence of twitter altogether so there are days where he’s on twitter every second but there are weeks where it’s just CRICKETS

loves to listen to other people’s playlists

open to new vibes (but no hateful vibes!)

still does snapchat streaks... hm

and who might he be talking to?

his snapchat streaks are always the same shot of the window or some scenery from his apartment

the kind of guy who snaps you until goddamn 4am

make room for online boyfriend hyuck

goes on twitch for the fun of it when he’s too busy to play

finds it real satisfying to just see the streamers engage with the audience while being real good at what they do

either way he’s just always on youtube but when he isn’t he’s usually just consuming content instead of uploading content

but when he does post anything it’s like quality!!

jaemin

unlike jeno, this man is EVERYWHERE

and when i mean everywhere i mean he’s also on letterboxd (!!!) and soundcloud

maybe this is just an excuse for me to force the jaemin film and photography student agenda

this man has customised every part of every profile on social media

except for linkedin

folks, his instagram is just pictures of everyone else but him

even on soundcloud his self-written songs are sung by other members in nct

his insta stories are the only place you can actually hear his voice

insta stories are just food and friends

and by friends i mean wtf moments at the dream dorm

memes all over twitter

steals memes pretty regularly

like he’d always like the tweets before stealing and those tweets would always end up in your tl so whenever he uses those memes in your convos it’s just like

aHa i see

posts “mood” tweets

mostly replies to other people rather than making his own tweets

loves to do deep dives on youtube because he always discovers the cutest music

also gets the best inspiration from youtube

has a few favourite youtubers and genuinely appreciates their content

again, inspiration

watches lots of movies but doesn’t really leave any reviews so he just gives a few stars (or none) on letterboxd

the kind of guy who’s glued to his phone

i don’t blame him

his phone is full of content

still on snapchat apparently

but he’s the kind of dude that just sends streaks every day and updates his snapchat story like never

his streaks... lmao

usually goes for a black screen with a plain “s” or just a random shot of his bedsheets

but if he considers you a close friend he might get distracted and send you a bunch of videos of him playing with filters

he really does think they’re quite the fascination

maybe he’s just bored lol social media is pretty expansive

chenle

he’s like jeno but gives less fucks

so... instagram and twitter are equally chaotic

such a mood

just makes you go WHAT IS THIS DUDE UP TO

this dude is usually just Chillin

and he gets bored so he just brain farts into twitter

whenever there’s a basketball game he’s watching he’ll fill your entire timeline with out of context reactions

also kind of a random out of context dude who posts things at the weirdest times of the day/night

doesn’t give enough fucks to go on private

gets a lot of followers on twt solely because so many people find his life so fascinating like hm...

what might zhong chenle be doing at this time of day

on instagram it’s kind of a different story because uh he might have to think twice about whether or not he wants a certain picture on his feed

but then again, no fucks

so he’s like meh okay sure i’ll post it

pics of food and places he’s been to and laid back selfies and #tbt type beat

NOT WAYV’S TURN BACK TIME I MEAN THROWBACK THURSDAY

but he does a lot of promo for nct and wayv

get that bag boy!

chenle on instagram is like hyuck on twitter: he can go weeks being completely inactive but one day he suddenly remembers the existence of instagram and posts five pictures in a day

all with either no caption or like the vaguest “ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ” or “哈哈哈哈”

if y’all have seen his weibo then y’all would know his twt would be filled with “哈哈哈哈哈”

mentions everyone (especially jisung) in each and every single one of his insta stories

replies to random comments

eternal chenle menpa how bout that

goes on wattpad and ao3 for the fun of it

actually kind of enjoys some of the work on wattpad... his fav trope is enemies to lovers

that one mutual that casually likes all your tweets

he would literally spam like all your pictures/tweets as soon as you guys become mutuals and it’s sweet

comments on everything

always dragged in jisung’s tiktok antics

knows all the tiktok dances by heart even though it looks like he’s so unbothered

thinks tiktok is cringey but HIGHKEY gets into it

jisung

now this dude is on tiktok but he doesn’t really fetch for clout

he likes doing short freestyles

the challenges are cool too and he’s had a few mutuals on tiktok so that’s nice

but this dude screams TWITTER and YOUTUBE

watches shit like vox and jubilee because it’s so interesting to him

has been through a vsauce phase but eventually got bored because they didn’t upload a lot

youtube is there for his deep dives and curiosities

also is subscribed to a lot of youtubers so his recommended page is super diverse

comments on videos with the most candid thoughts

youtube has been a big part of him honestly especially as a child who didn’t really get a formal education

he’s just kind of learning from the internet

doesn’t bother with instagram because... he can post pictures on twt too...

eventually gets instagram anyways so

the pictures/videos jisung sends on lysn bubble are literally his insta feed

but on twitter he’s just kind of vibin

says he goes on twt 5 times a day so there we go

likes those generational tweets and tiktoks that go like

“kids born after 2005 will never understand this”

his retweets bruv

he just retweets funny one liner replies from viral tweets

also keeps up with the news (ehem this was the boy on the political section of daily korean news let’s hear it)

rather than just korea he’s pretty interested in international news too so he’s a pretty outspoken guy

doesn’t really do a lot of tweeting himself though since he just kind of goes “헐” or “대박” or “ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

him and renjun are youtube buddies just because. yes.

usually spirals into crack compilations

like renjun, he’s also seen pretty often in other members’ mentions

ESPECIALLY CHENLE THIS DUDE WONT SHUT UP ABOUT JISUNG

but he honestly really likes being mentioned and being active online because he’s spent most of his life either practicing or online so

feels like home huh

kinda gen z spirit there lmao

67 notes · View notes

celesjial · 5 years

Text

hyunjin’s live quick trans

he was like HI BABY HI ANGEL HOW R U from the comments and i nearly died hes so cute

hes like oh whoops is this bad timing its like rlly early in korea WAKE UP AND WATCH ME GUYSSSS

someone knocked on the door so hes like WHO IS IT IM ON VLIVE and then seungmin jeongin and changbin barged in and theyre like we needa get smth and hyunjins like WHAT and seungmins like SECRET and then jeongin was like imma just stay with changbin till ur done bye and changbin started whining about how its HIS room and jeongin cant just barge in

didnt catch the name of the first song he listened to, but the second one was comethru by jeremy zucker

hyunjins been listening to more music than dramas recently but theres one hes been watching recently called hotel del luna and he likes it

he doesnt get colds very often so he never really feels sick (okay hyunjin flex) and he ate a lot of lobster recently

“who’s your roommate” hyunjin; minho-hyung but hes sleeping rn apparently he sleeps v well so he won’t wake up

he took a lot of pictures and a lot of them are of scenery with his members in it

he doesnt have swimming goggles and he swam with his eyes closed and he said he was scared lmao

“changbin’s birthday...” OMG CHANGBINS BIRTHDAY TF DO I BUY HIM

he played instagram by dean

“are u gonna do hyunjin’s practice room again” hyunjin: haven’t been satisfied with dance recently but i’ll practice hard and come back

“who are the roommates for this trip” changbin and seungmin, hyunjin and minho, chan and jisung, woojin and felix, and jeongin’s with the manager i’m guessing

he’s playing crush’s woo ahh now

“where is changbin” “where is HAN JISUNG” (side note please stop asking for other members adfhlkajsdhflk) but he said jisung is prolly working out rn

hyunjin’s tmi for today: is that he ate jjamppong at some korean restauraunt and it was REALLY good

“whats ur fave flower” hyunjin: idk flower names

he says hes been eating really well recently (good for u bubsie keep eating)

now he’s asking for song recs

ooh his favorite mixtape is mixtape 2

“OMG I LOVE THIS SONG” plays beautiful people by ed sheeran and khalid and he’s singing along super cutely bc he knows some of the lyrics i love him :)

“what drama do u like”

“you’re so beautiful” hyunjin: thank you :) (YES YOU ARE)

“do you like mint chocolate ice cream” yES I DO (i knew i could trust hyunjin )

he closes his eyes and his ears when he watches horror movies bc apparently the music is the scariest part (is it really?)

hes playing in my blood by shawn mendes now and hes singing along hes adorable

“you make my day better” hyunjin: everyone should always have happy days and hes happy he made someone’s day better)

he likes iced coffee better than hot coffee which is INCORRECT hyunjin take that back

in my blood is seungmin’s song recommendation ahdflahsd he was singing it around hyunjin and hyunjin was like what is that i want it and now its part of his playlist

“where is IN” (PlEASE dont ask for other members :( ) hyunjin: changbin’s room i think

“where is felix” hyunjin: felix is currently sleeping

hyunjin: ooh i like this song (he’s playing treat you better)

“what did you eat for breakfast” he had honey (?) and it was REAL honey

he learned how to take pictures from seungmin bc he taught him how and thats how hes been getting new pictures really well

“will you play senorita” hyunjin: yes!

he wants the concert to come really quickly bc he wants to show stays a cool image really soon :)

paris and london: was his first time to both and when they took the boat from london to paris everything was SO PRETTy like the sky and the colors and the scenery and he had such a great time he was so so happy

he thinks lion king is rlly cute

hes playing 19 adfkhlakjdhfla where is jisung when he needs it

“insomnia” hyunjin: ᵒᵏᵃʸ

hyunjin: ALSO GUYS THE BUSES... *song is too loud* --EXCUSE ME *turns down the music* -- ANYWAYS THE BUSES---when we rode them i slept alot it was great

(hyunjin i love u but plz hurry up i needa finish my work and ur not being very helpful)

hopes today was a healing room and now hes playing insomnia

“episode with minho as ur roommate” no he sleeping he does that too much hes boring he aint fun

wifi stops working -- “NO WIFI PLZ -- WIFI STaRt WORKING PLZ DONT BETRAY ME LIKE THIS WIFI--oh ok we good :) )

hes ranting about minho now lmfahlfd i thought we were done w this topic but he said minho never wants to do anything even after he says he’ll do it lmfaoo big mood minho and hes like minho makes noises in his sleep is funny

all the comments are like go to sleep hyunjin and hes like I WILL IM WAKING UP LATE TOMORROW CHILL GUYS

“stray kids music is the best 3racha is the best” hyunjin: I KNOW

“you make me happy” hyunjin: thank you :)

“screenshot time plz” hyunjin poses for the next five minutes here’s a preview :)

(rip i need this bitch to hurry up i have to do my fkn work SIR)

he’s playing ocean eyes by billie eilish now

the bitchass live froze RIP us

oh we back

oh now he’s ranting about minho again hyunjin for a boring roommate u sure got a lot to say ab him -- hes like minho sleeps rlly lightly so he had to be rlly quiet when he went to shower -- but wait hows he live rn then im confuzzled

OH MY GOD IM GONNNA CRy there was a comment that was like “hug HUG” and he hugged the camera im gonna sob i love him sm

smth about cereal --oh he’s playing crush’s cereal

aww he always misses kkami

THIS BITCH IS TALKING ABOUT MINHO AGAIN SIS WTF

hes playing with filters now aldjshfkalshfasdjfalsfajsdjfimnotdeaddontworry

he likes fruit loops and so does seungmin

THNAK GOD HES FINISHING NOW I WAS GONNA CRY

bye hyunjin!

#stray kids #skz #hwang hyunjin #please appreciate this #this is the longest one ive ever done but he talks a lot #i love him #gotta go do work now bubye

39 notes · View notes

mirohed · 5 years

Text

kim seunghun | love me, love me not

pairing: kim seunghun + gender neutral reader

wc: 3.7k

genre: hanahaki au + angst

synopsis: daffodils represent unrequited love. is that why you keep coughing them up?

warnings: implications of suggestive content, descriptions of illness (and mention of surgery), mention of alcohol

playlist: love me, love me not.

a/n: happy birthday to me!! im glad i finally got to finish and post this (its,,, been in my wips since at least february LMAO) !! they prob wont read this but i wanted to thank my irls for dealing w me and my kpop bullshit (esp bc none of them stan ygtb 😔)

It's getting worse.

Your knuckles turn white, gripping the porcelain of the toilet. Tears and blood alike fall into the bowl, disturbing the gentle peace of the water. You pound at your chest, the action causing you to hack up yellow daffodil petals stained suspicious red. It's a monotonous process at this point. Pound. Cough. Pound. Cough. Repeat until the damned coughing stops.

It takes ten minutes before you return to normal. Or at least as normal as you can get. You got lucky this time.

You watch the petals spiral downward into the gaping hole in the toilet and get flushed away.

Being with Seunghun wasn't always accompanied by a tightness in your chest and petals tickling your throat.

june 19, 2005; 2:52 PM.

"I wanna grow up," you had grumbled, your hands squeezed around the chains of the swingset. You and Seunghun had been riding your bikes for the first time since getting the training wheels off. You had sped down a hill ("First one down’s a rotten egg!") and lost control, falling off and scraping your knee on the pavement. He rushed you to your parents' house, supporting your weight with an arm around your waist. The two of you had settled for playing on the swingset in your backyard instead.

"Me too," he said. "I think." He'd been rocking forward and backward on the swing, eyes focused on the blades of grass underfoot.

"You think?"

"I don't know." You stayed silent, trying to gain as much height as possible with your uninjured leg. "I don't wanna grow up and stop being friends." That got you to stop right in your tracks, your leg planted on the ground.

"What?" You sent an incredulous look his way. "Why would we stop being friends?"

He had let go of the swing, his hands finding his lap. "Some of the older kids stopped being friends when they grew up," he mumbled. "I don't wanna stop being friends, but neither did they..."

You got off the swing, limping over to him and wrapping Seunghun in the biggest hug your six-year-old arms could muster.

"We're gonna be best friends forever. Don't forget that."

"Best friends forever." If he wrapped his arms tighter around you then, you didn’t pick up on it.

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i had fun today :^))

[09:54 PM] huniebee🐝: i wanna adopt a puppy!!

[09:55 PM] huniebee🐝: will you promise to help me take care of it

You brighten as the messages come in, your phone's vibrations distracting you from the way your throat clogs.

[09:56 PM] you: ofc

[09:56 PM] you: well be the best puppy parents the worlds ever seen

[09:57 PM] huniebee🐝: wait i need to send the pics from the pet shelter

[Attachment: 8 images]

You save each picture, cooing over the puppies you got to meet. This time, you only get a precious few minutes of relative clarity before things get too distracting to ignore. You return to the bathroom with a resigned sigh that devolves into a fit of coughs.

You cough and retch and cough some more. By the time you're done, there are less petals and more blood in the toilet bowl. Your chest still feels full of something you can't quite spit out.

Then you hack up something new: a bloody stem with wet flowers still attached.

There's nothing left to do but cry, your whole body wracked with pain both physical and emotional.

august 29, 2011; 3:15 PM.

"Today was fun," you said, making yourself right at home on Seunghun's bed. Your new backpack hadn't lasted more than a couple minutes in his house before getting neglected on his carpet. Your best friend hummed in acknowledgement, already sitting at his desk with his workbook out. "I'm glad we got to meet some new people," you continued, "but that Hyunsuk guy? Seems like a major pain in the ass."

"Give him a chance."

"I know, I know. I will. But still," you huffed, “it was his first day too. No need to act like a know-it-all."

"I know. But it's the first day. Maybe he'll even himself out with time."

The conversation ended there, and you spent some time staring at his ceiling fan, the blades going round and round in a big, beautiful blur. Before long, you had grown bored, looking over at him only to see his pencil flying across the paper.

"Hey. Let's go to the mall and get pretzels." Seunghun spun around to face you, a foot stopping his chair from going too far.

"Sure," he gave a placid smile. "Do your work first."

You groaned as loudly as you could, sounding much like a petulant child straight out of elementary school. (Which was more or less the truth, but you thought you were better than that.) After a few minutes of uninterrupted whining and failing to get Seunghun to break, you spoke up. "Why do I need to do my work? You're Mr. Hardworking, Mr. Teacher's Pet."

"We're in middle school now," he had said, and you remember thinking you were in for a long lecture, "and pretty soon, we're gonna have to go to high school and take entrance exams and decide which university we want to go to and..." He averted his gaze, put down his pen. "We need to start growing up."

"We're still young," you reasoned, sitting up and letting your legs dangle off the side of his bed. "If anything, this is our time to experience things and, you know, make mistakes before we become adults!"

He was silent for a few long, agonizing moments, long enough to make you think you'd won. The pretzels were within reach; all you had to do was ask for them.

"I call a compromise."

Shit. Compromises were common in your friendship. Seunghun was always a little too good at stopping you from making stupid decisions. The worst part was that you could never argue with them. "We go to the mall to get pretzels—my treat—if, and only if, you do your work. We don't go until we're both finished. Deal?"

You opened your mouth, determined to pick the proposal apart, but his reasoning was (unpleasant, yet) bulletproof. Instead, you reached for your backpack with a heavy sigh. "First of all, fuck you. Second of all," you said, tugging your own workbook out, "you're impossible."

"I know. Do your work."

"Fine."

The math problems had been difficult, definitely harder than you were used to, but doable. If anything, the greasy mall pretzels that were way too salty to be healthy made it all worth it.

Seunghun gets understandably very worried when you text him from the hospital, but he comes to see you nonetheless. In his arms is a bouquet of daffodils.

"They symbolize friendship," he says, setting it down on the table next to you. You stare at the pristine yellow petals and flatten your lips in a tight smile. How ironic, you think, that he doesn't know they also symbolize unrequited love.

"The doctors wouldn't tell me why you're here. Classified information, they said." That much is true; nor much is known about the disease outside of shitty romance movies with unrealistically happy endings. Seunghun always believed in them. You never did.

You don't think your story's gonna have a happy ending.

You didn't want him to know anyway, lest he worry. (And you don't want to think about what would happen to your friendship if he found out he was the cause of it all.) "You don't have to tell me," he begins, sitting himself down on one of those rigid hospital chairs, "I just wanna know if it's bad. Like, well...you know.” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “Terminal."

"Like if I'm gonna die?"

"Yeah," he rubs the nape of his neck, a bit abashed, "more or less."

"I don't know. Sure hope not," you chuckle. That brings on a coughing fit, and Seunghun looks on, brows knit together. He moves close to offer what little comfort he can, but you hold your hand up to stop him; having him near will only make things worse.

Petals threaten to spill out of your mouth, and panic bubbles in your chest when he asks if you're okay. Your doctor, bless her, chooses that moment to enter. She shooes him out "to speak to you in private." Seunghun, to his credit, obliges and flashes you a smile and a thumbs-up as he goes. You try to mirror his expression (and hope your smile isn't more of a grimace).

The door closes behind him with a soft click. "Friend of yours?" the doctor asks.

You spit the blood-stained petals into your hand, your doctor graciously looking the other way as you toss them into the trash. "You could say that."

october 4, 2013; 5:11 PM.

You tugged at your clothing, feeling more than a little uncomfortable as you waited for your best friend to show up. The DJ, a former student, was already hard at work inside the gym. You heard the bass-boosted beginning of the Cupid Shuffle and shot a frantic text to Seunghun.

[05:11 PM] you: holy shit theyre playing the cupid shuffle can you PLEASE hurry up

[05:12 PM] you: idc if this is our first homecoming you better get your ass over here

[05:12 PM] huniebee🐝: give me like two minutes!!

[05:12 PM] you: THE SONGS GONNA BE OVER IN 2 MIN

"Are you waiting for Seunghun?" Hyunsuk had asked, tie already loosened. You two had gotten close—not as close as you and Seunghun, of course—this year as a result of having classes together. You wondered why you ever hated him.

"Yeah. He won't be too late, thank God, but I'm pissed we're missing the Cupid Shuffle. What about you? I remember you bragging all week about 'flexing your dance skills in front of the ladies.' Or are you all talk, as usual?"

"You know, it's almost like you don't want me to wait with you."

You had laughed, knocking your shoulder into his. The chatter kept up for a minute or two before he made his leave. ("Well, it's time for me to flex my dance muscles in front of the seniors," he chuckled, giving you a salute as he walked off.)

"I'm here! God, I can't believe I missed the Cupid Shuffle," Seunghun said, head hung low. You began to feel a little self-conscious; you were feeling out of place in your semi-formal outfit, yet he looked right at home in his dress shirt.

Chasing those thoughts away, you grinned. "You're here now, aren't you? Come on." You took his hand and dragged him into the gym.

You don't talk to Seunghun or to Hyunsuk after that. You're not sure if you should tell Hyunsuk about the whole situation when he texts you. Seunghun must have told him something was up, of course, and he's insightful enough, sensitive enough (when he wants to be), but you worry. You're afraid he'll open his big mouth. Instead, you send a few messages to your best friend.

[04:29 AM] you: hey

[04:29 AM] you: i just wanted to say in advance that im sorry

[04:29 AM] you: im so so sorry for everything ive done and for what im about to do

There's one last message in the text box, daring you to send it. "I'm sorry I love you," you whisper instead, deleting the message before you do something you’ll regret. To seal the deal, you tap through a few menus until you reach his contact. The picture you've assigned to him is one you took; he's about to take a big bite of cotton candy bigger than his head.

With a heavy heart (though you hope it’s just the weight of the daffodils in your chest), you block his contact. It's better this way. It has to be.

Your doctor said you could get rid of the thick, thorned vines with a vicegrip around your heart and lungs, could pluck the flowers that threaten to spill out at the mere thought of your best friend.

The biggest side effect of it all, she told you, was that you'd forget all about Kim Seunghun. So you steel yourself.

The last thing you think about before they insert the thin needle of anesthesia in your veins is Seunghun's smile, and how you'll never see it in person again.

And how even if you did, you wouldn't remember it as the grin from the boy you love.

october 4, 2013; 9:16 PM.

The frenetic strobe lighting in the gym slowed to a stop, having been replaced with a spotlight making lazy rounds through the gym.

You knew that marked the beginning of a slow song, and dragged Seunghun off the floor in search of some punch. He seemed to have different plans, tugging you back on the floor and pulling you flush against him.

"Where are you going?" he had asked. "You're the one who wanted to dance the night away." His hands found your waist, yours instinctively folding behind his neck. You had wanted to say something about how that claim was void now; he was the one that made you miss the Cupid Shuffle, but the words get extinguished when you look at him.

It was just like that time you practiced in fifth grade, but you swore there was something different about tonight and the way you swayed. You thought back to your practice session in fifth grade, how you had stepped on each other's feet, how you spent the whole time laughing. (For the record, it wasn't for any lack of balance; you started it, laughing as he cried out before he stomped on your toe.)

There was no laughing during the song. Everything was vibrant and deafening and there all at once. But at the same time, it was like everything had been stripped away. Everything but you and Seunghun.

Things changed after that. You were left with a dizzying, free-fall sort of feeling that picked up with each glance at your best friend. Almost every butterfly in the world was taking current residency in your stomach, making you feel light as your body moved to the music. Before long, there was something lodged at the back of your throat, nudging its way forward.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick," you said, a particularly heavy cough bringing the mysterious lump to your mouth.

Running your tongue along the smooth texture of the lump (okay, so not phlegm), you spat the offending object into the sink: a single yellow petal, coated in saliva.

You blinked.

Blinked again.

"Oh, what the fuck," you muttered, unlocking your phone. One quick Google search later—why the fuck am i coughing up flowers—you found an answer.

Flora mortem. You were loath to believe WebMD, of all things, but you found yourself tapping the link regardless. There was another term for the rare disease: Hanahaki.

Revising your search query was a mistake. The first result was the "hanahaki" tag on Tumblr, which showed nothing but models with tears in their eyes and bloodied flowers in their mouths. Yikes.

You made your way back to the party after that, but lingering in the back of your mind was the cause of the disease: a severe case of unrequited love.

There is only one definite cure for Hanahaki Disease: having the object of the afflicted's affections return their feelings.

You almost manage to purge the petal and the stupid WebMD page from your mind for the rest of the night.

Almost.

You wake up hours later. It's a little disorienting, sure, to come to with little memory of what landed you in the hospital. You peek under the oversized hospital gown to see bandages over your chest, get tempted to rip the IV drip from your arm. The doctor comes in right before you make a move on the needle. She tells you all about how the flowers in your lungs are gone for good.

"You're saved. But the final test," she says, pulling a phone from her pocket, "is this. Do you recognize the people in this picture?"

You recognize yourself next to a boy you don't know. His hand's around your waist, pulling you close. You wear matching grins. Given the way you're both dressed, you suspect the picture's from your freshman year's homecoming dance. Weird. Memory's kinda fuzzy from that night.

"Yeah. Myself. I don't know the other guy. Am I supposed to?"

"No. You're not. Congratulations," she smiles, placing a hand on your shoulder. "You're cured."

You look through all the old messages and pictures when you have some time to yourself. You reach out for the memory, the feeling of knowing Kim Seunghun. You get nothing, and while your brain knows something's wrong, you're more concerned about being able to breathe easy.

You move to a new city, far, far away from the place you grew up in. You finish your last year of high school, get a job, start college. You make new memories with new people. You forget all about Kim Seunghun.

It gets easy to forget that you weren't born with the ugly faded red scars that run up and down your chest. It's your only remaining tie to the man you loved so much you almost let yourself wither away. You think it's a good thing you cut him off; why stick around, why force yourself to suffer, for someone who doesn't love you back? Why be with someone if it physically hurts to stay by their side?

But sometimes you wonder. What happened? What happened to him after his best friend walked out of his life for good with no explanation?

Those days are never good. You distract yourself then, often with the familiar kick of alcohol burning in the back of your throat. You've never been much of a drinker, but you figure it's never too late to start.

Sometimes, the distraction comes from being in the arms of another.

(One of your favorite distractions, a young man named Byounggon, had run his fingers along the angry lines one night, jotting them down in his map of your body.

"Do you regret it?" he asked then, eyes half-lidded with drowsiness. You cupped his cheek, ran a thumb along the planes of his face.

"I wouldn't be here if I regretted it, now would I?" He let the corners of his mouth turn up just so, pressing his lips to yours.

You don't talk to him much nowadays, your interactions reduced to likes on Instagram, views on Snapchat. He's moved to a bigger city. "More opportunities," he said. You keep up with his dream of being a musician, always. There was a time when you were his number one supporter, after all.)

"Will that be all?" the cashier asks, jotting your order on the plastic cup. When you nod, he asks for your name. He jots that down too.

But then his eyes widen and he looks at you with renewed interest. "I'm sorry?"

"Is there a problem?" you asks, peering at your name (spelled correctly) on the cup. His eyes search for an answer within yours, some sort of explanation you can't seem to give. He averts his gaze, shakes his head, places your cup in the queue of orders.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Just thought you were someone I knew. Have a nice day." You parrot the phrase, catching a glimpse of the young man's name tag.

Seunghun, it reads in cheerful yellow. There's a doodle of a puppy in the top right corner. You think it's rather cute.

Two weeks later, you meet Seunghun again. This time, you're out for a morning jog. The crisp autumn air greets you as your feet meet the pavement and let out a satisfactory crunch under the burnt orange leaves on the sidewalk.

You both get stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change. While you catch your breath, you don't miss the way he flinches, as though he didn't expect you to show up. He schools his expression into something friendly within no time, and you wonder if you imagined the whole thing.

"The weather's nice, isn't it?"

"It is," you pant. "On your way to work?" He raises a hand to tug at the strap of his backpack with a small smile.

"Yeah. You should come by, give us business," he grins. "On mornings like this, I recommend the hazelnut latte." You hum in agreement, not yet recovered enough to converse. "Tell you what, you come and get one when I'm working, I'll make sure it's on the house."

"Really? Maybe I'll swing by." The light changes, and you leave Seunghun behind, waving goodbye as you do.

You come in later that day, ordering a hazelnut latte as promised. Seunghun's manning the register, same as two weeks ago, and when he takes everything down, he smiles. You miss it as you pay, but there's something extra on your cup.

As you take a sip of the (delicious; his coworker Yedam must be some sort of brewing prodigy) latte, you catch a glimpse of the extra writing.

Along the side of the cup is his phone number.

[10:58 PM] seunghun!: more than anything i want to adopt a puppy

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: or rather another one

[10:59 PM] seunghun!: i named this one after an old friend

[Attachment: 1 image]

The picture of Seunghun and his dog brings a smile to your face. You've been spending more time with him recently, whether it be going on coffee runs ("Are you sure you're not just using me for my employee discount?") or complaining about life as a broke college student ("My card got declined trying to buy a bag of chips last night...").

It's nice. Spending time with him is...nice.

It's more than a simple distraction, somebody to hold close on nights your decisions try to haunt you. It’s friendship, something to hold onto when you lose your way in the dense forest of your mind and to cherish when you manage to make it to a clearing and bask in the sunshine.

You've caught a cold recently (probably from that bastard Seo Changbin in your communications class). Seunghun's given you some homemade tea, swearing on its usefulness. It certainly tastes good, the sweet honey chased by tangy lemon. Unfortunately, the tea isn't able to stop the persistent cough you've been plagued with.

Feeling phlegm start to come up, you turn the bathroom lights on, hacking it up and spitting into the sink.

Huh. That's weird.

There's no phlegm.

The only thing in the sink is a single golden petal, coated in saliva.

#seunghun scenario #seunghun imagine #seunghun angst #kim seunghun scenario #kim seunghun imagine #kim seunghun angst #ygtb scenario #ygtb imagine #ygtb fluff #yg treasure box scenario #yg treasure box imagine #yg treasure box angst #seunghun #ygtb #ari.doc #ariweek 2019 #c9boyz

82 notes · View notes

ethertae · 6 years

Text

Hurricane - Jeon Jungkook (M)

Hurricane (part 1)

Beautiful moodboard by @introsgf

Word count: 7.7k

Summary: You love Jungkook, and he loves you. But he lives with the stars, and you simply content yourself to look at the night sky from a dead field, desperate to reach for something you know will never truly be yours.

Genre: angst, light smut. Ex-boyfriend! Jungkook.

Warnings: light smut. This is not the depiction of a healthy relationship, this is fiction - pls don’t let yourself be emotionally abused this way (even though it may not seem extreme, it really is.) Jungkook, here, is a character that needs development, so it will be easier to understand the actual issue - we’ll dig into his mindset in the second part.

Requests: open

+ (playlist for the story)

(A/N: I know Namjoon’s figurines cost more than 3000 dollars – rich boy, lmao – but this an au where they cost about 50 -70 dollars)

You’re awake again.

The light from your television screen is the only thing that allows you to see in the otherwise dark room. You can’t fall asleep. The noise is drowned out by your solitude – this time of night is the only moment you can seem to think. You are used to it now.

He’s back.

Images of him appearing at your doorstep, with a hurt and lost gaze, flashes before your eyes. A part of you expects him to come. It’s been two days, and still no news. You let yourself think you don’t want to see him anymore; that his face would only bring out a deep-seated anger, one that has accumulated over the years, from all the times he left you.

You wrap the blanket tighter around yourself, shivering from the cold air that wanders from the open window and into your living room. Whether you like to admit it or not, you miss him. Your heart can’t help but yearn for the way he would wrap his arms around you at night, being the one to shield you from the bitter cold. But, you can’t. You can’t let him in again.

A buzz resounds, breaking the low murmur of your television show. The rate of your heartbeat increases, a pitiful twinge of hope curling your stomach. Picking up your phone, you unlock the screen.

2 messages from chimchim:

[Y/N, go to sleep…]

[stop doing this, it isn’t healthy.]

You frown – does Jimin know he is back too?

Of course, he does. He is one of his closest friends afterall. You decide not to answer; you don’t want him to worry about you. You would rather let him think you are asleep. You hear another chime.

A message from chimchim:

[I hope you are really asleep, and not just ignoring my messages -_-]

2 messages from Jeon Jungkook:

[Y/N]

[Are you still awake?]

You do a double take, blinking away your fatigue to make sure you aren’t seeing things.

It’s him.

Your heart feels as if it is lodged in your throat. You heave, chest rising up and down, because it’s him. Eyes sweeping over the message multiple times, a flood of emotions invade you. Six months. It’s been six months, and he has texted you.

You stare blankly at the screen for several minutes. A shaky breath leaves you, and you swallow the big lump, feeling as though your esophagus could tear apart from the width.

You’re scared, because he’s back. You’re frustrated, because he’s back. You’re despaired, because he’s back.

You’re relieved – because he’s back.

And no matter how hard you try to hate him, forget him each time he disappears, you can’t bring yourself to. Jungkook knows that, so he uses it. Uses your love for him, so he can come back, just to make you fall harder and then leave. He tells you, this time is the right one, this time he’s ready, but you wake up alone a few weeks later with a note on your dresser, saying that he can’t be tied down.

It started five years ago, when you were still a freshman in college, and he was a junior. You met through Jimin. You were sweet, naïve, and Jungkook was the mysterious boy, who had all the girls at his feet but wouldn’t give any the time of the day. He intrigued you, and although he would constantly say, you weren’t his type of girl, the tension was undeniable. And you were relentless in tearing at his cool exterior, till one night, he finally caved and kissed you at Jimin’s Christmas party - had you into a shuddering mess with the way your clothes bunched up under his large hands. Now, you say your stupid-self was too curious for your own good, too in love with him to see past what he really is – a coward. All he knows how to do is run – run away from his feelings as soon as they are too much to handle.

Your fingers hover over the screen.

Should you?

You think about all the times he hurt you.

No, you shouldn’t.

2 messages from Jeon Jungkook:

[I’m sorry]

[I miss you]

A whimper escapes your lips – your heart clenches painfully, writhing as though it has been stabbed. He always does this, and you always fall for it. You can’t, not again.

Looking at the ceiling, you turn off your phone. The lights in the shadows of your walls, travel with the pass of each car, and you keep your eyes transfixed on the movement. Maybe if you don’t give him a reason to stay, he’ll leave sooner. Maybe this time, if you don’t cave in, he won’t come back. Unconsciously, you ache at the thought of never seeing him again.

You let your head touch the rough material of your couch, legs curled against your chest, and blanket tight around your trembling body. You won’t let him, no you won’t.

Tears glide along your temple.

No. Not this time.

“What are you doing?” Jimin berates, grabbing the expresso that is tightly clutched in your hands. He runs to the nearest trash can, trench coat swaying with him, and throws the cup in.

You gasp, “You ass, I needed that!”

You shuffle to the bin, looking inside longingly before glaring at Jimin. You do indeed need it, you haven’t been sleeping much this past week, and Jungkook hasn’t contacted you since that night. It doesn’t sit well with you.

“It was your fourth cup, and it’s ten in the morning. You need to calm down.”

Jimin starts to walk ahead of you, and you pick up your pace to catch up with him. He is quiet as he advances, trying to reach your destination quickly, but you find the silence stressful – any type of distraction from your thoughts would be welcomed.

You wrap your coat tighter around yourself, regretting the fact that you didn’t put on gloves before stepping out in this treacherous cold.

“Jimin?” You whisper, unsure whether to start this conversation or not, but it has been tearing through your mind incessantly for the past week, so you ask anyway.

“Have you –“ you take a deep breath, the cold air burning your lungs, “have you seen Jungkook?”

He doesn’t react, like you thought he would – he was expecting it – instead, he sighs.

“Yes, Y/N.”

You nod, a stillness invading the air around you, even more so in the dead of winter. You try to tell yourself that it was enough information, that you don’t need to know any more of it – but you do. You always do.

You rush out, “how is he?”

Jimin takes a moment to look at you, hands stuffed deep inside the pockets of his coat. He regards you silently for a moment before answering, “He’s fine. He asked the same about you.”

You’re speechless, lump caught in your throat, and heart palpitating so fast, you fear it might stop. You bite your lip, eyes directing themselves in front of you, leaving Jimin’s flushed face.

“Don’t get any ideas, Y/N.”

You nod, breaking from your reverie, “Of course not, Jimin. It’s over. It’s been over.”

“It’s for the best.”

“I know.”

Your trek continues in absolute silence, walking down numerous streets and under the grey sky, to finally get where both of you have been planning to go for the past few months. But, you kept putting it off because of your busy schedules.

You exhale when you finally enter the figurine shop, the warmth of the heated room engulfing you in a hug. You look around – the shop is small, and shelves line the walls, rare collectable figurines arranged neatly on them.

“Why are we doing this again?” you ask Jimin, whose already deep in the shop, touching the delicate objects that are displayed.

“I’m super late on Joonie’s present, and I promised him something cool. And, you said you’d help me choose.”

“Ah yes, I remember. And, Joonie’s birthday was 2 months ago.”

“Shush, I’ve been busy – I did the cake, okay?”

You cackle, touching the wings on a beautiful fairy figurine – she’s crouched, hands touching the ground and expression sorrowful, like she’s lost something – you find you relate to her.

“Damn –“ Jimin’s voice startles you, and you almost knock down the delicate fairy, but stabilize it quickly, checking around if anybody has seen.

“They have all sorts of figurines, they vary so much – Hey, come here, this is the sort of stuff Namjoon likes.”

You reach Jimin. Observing the collectables along with him, you notice that most of these Namjoon already owns. You made sure to sneak into his room and take a picture of his figurines, so you wouldn’t end up buying one he already has. You take out your phone, finding the picture, and looking from the device to the shelves of packaged items.

“Chim, he doesn’t have this one,” you crouch, picking one from the bottom shelf, it seemed to be matching one of the sets in the photo.

“We have to go shopping for Jin and Tae’s birthdays soon.” You add as an afterthought, suddenly remembering your other friends’ birthdays would barely be a month from now.

He groans, “Don’t remind me.”

He takes the covered object from your hand, and you show him the picture. Jimin smiles, seemingly happy with the choice and taps your nose, before sauntering off to the cash register.

You follow him, stopping beside him and clutching the counter. The nervous tap of your foot starts as your mind wanders to places you’ve been mulling over repeatedly. Has he changed the color of his hair again? Is he okay? Is he hurting as much as you are?

“Hey, Y/N – so,” Jimin clears his throat, uneasiness clear on his soft features, “um – so, we are going to be having drinks at Seokjin’s place, later tonight…with Jungkook – you know, to celebrate his return – and, well, it would be weird for you not to be there.”

The awkward tension is palpable, Jimin making sure to look anywhere but at you. He takes out his wallet, handing out the necessary cash to the man behind the counter and thanks him, bidding goodbye.

You amble at his side, too busy replaying his terrifying words over and over in your head, to answer him. The cold air hitting your face – as he opens the glass door to the streets – is like a harsh wakeup call, and you struggle to make the words pass your lips.

“Oh – yeah. That’s fine.”

“I mean, don’t feel like you have to – we would totally understand if you don’t come” He trails off, looking far into the distance at what seems to be the Christmas lights decorating a lonely lamp post. You have always wondered about that, why they bring out the festivities so early in the season.

“No, no! It’s fine, I’m fine…. I’m okay.”

He eyes you briefly, honey colored hair following the currents of the wind – “are you sure?”

When you don’t answer, he sighs – his perception getting the better of him. You’re spacing out again, and he doesn’t have the heart to tear you away from the visual novel playing over in your head.

“Hm, do you want to have some mulled wine?” he dares to ask, sending you a wink.

You look up at him, perceiving the small grin hidden by his thick red scarf, “It’s only 10:30 in the morning, Jimin.”

“So, what? We both need it. Plus, mulled wine is so good.”

You can’t help the subdued smile that molds your features, almost imperceptible but there. “I guess I wouldn’t mind some spices in my system.”

You pass by a small bar, one which sells the hot beverage you crave, a special you can only find during the holidays (- or at least when it nears the holidays, if you can call a month near). Entering it, you take in the bad interior décor. The dimmed lights of the bar illuminate the room in an almost welcoming way, the poorly strung Christmas ornaments adding a sad touch to the already uncommon view of a bar so early in the morning. One too few people, most of which are splayed on the tables, populate the dark box – if it weren’t for the windows, it would feel as if you were in a homely cave.

Sitting at a table as close to the windows as possible, you relish in the comfiness of the sunken seat you placed yourself in. The waiter comes with a disgruntled expression, a notepad in hand, and judgement evident in his beady eyes.

Jimin orders for the both you, falling back in his chair once the odd man leaves, “what do you think got his panties in a twist?”

“He probably thinks anybody that comes to a bar this early in the morning must have issues.”

“Well, obviously, that’s why we’re here.” The blonde jokes, prodding the chipped wood of your table with his small fingers.

“Har, har” you tease, pressing your hands together and blowing warm air into the space created between your palms, proceeding then to rub them together, till you feel the tingle of rushing blood. Winter has come early this year.

“Here,” the man comes back, dropping your drinks off, and leaving dismissively with the tray nested in his pit, before you even have the chance to thank him.

“Do you think he spit in our wine?” Jimin whispers, and glances down at the hot beverage, mocking worry laced in his brown eyes.

“I hope not,” you say, taking a tentative sip at the cinnamony goodness of your mulled wine.

Jimin hums in approval, a small, involuntary crinkle to his nose as he inhales the spicy aroma that now lingers in the air around you. The endearing twitch makes you smile, mouth curving upwards in subtle delight.

Slowly, your thoughts start drifting, and your grip loosens around your sturdy paper cup, eyes focusing on the small slice of orange floating around in the murky red. Your thoughts wander to Jungkook.

You remember the first Christmas you spent together.

You visited your family with him, since he mentioned he had none of his own. And, when you tried to press on the matter, he would only get eerily quiet, refusing to deliver any other information. Your family disliked him – you saw it as soon as he stepped into the threshold, their critical gazes eating up the way his hair was dyed an extravagant pink.

But, you didn’t care, you didn’t realize the importance of family approval or judgement.

You remember the champagne induced buzz you felt at the Christmas party, belly filled with pot roast, and filth being whispered in your ear, while Jungkook traced teasing circles on your lower back. You remember the way he pushed you against the bed, mapping out your body in the room of your childhood and teenage years spent fantasizing such things would happen.

You also remember the absence of his warmth the next morning, duffle bag gone along with everything he wore the night before. A note was left neatly on top of your dresser, written on the paper you used to confess your secrets on at 14.

That was the very first time he left you.

When you made it down to breakfast, you were sure to have your tears dry and a small smile plastered on your face. You excused him, lies leaving your lips messily – some sort of nonsense, like he had an emergency back home that needed to be tended to immediately.

Your mom saw right through the act – somehow – even though you felt like you had hidden it well enough. And, instead of chastising you, and giving you a meaningless lecture, she comforted you and explained to you the hardships of going through heartbreak.

Jungkook was your first real heartbreak. And, as unbelievably simpleton as it sounds, he was your first everything.

“– I’m thinking about getting a cat, and naming it Yoongi, just to piss Yoongles off. I want to get back at him for making fun of my love for candles.”

You shake your head and laugh, memory still in the forefront of your mind. “He’s going to kill you. But, make sure you buy a cat that’s as cute as him.”

“Sure thing,” he smirks, bringing the cup to his lips, twinkle in the boy’s eyes as he thinks about the man he loves, but is too afraid to tell.

“You know,” you look at him intently, “if you just told Jungkook how you feel.”

“Jungkook?”

Blanching – you stutter, correcting yourself, “sorry – sorry, I meant Yoongi.”

“Hm,” you avoid Jimin’s intense stare, “should we practice?”

You scrunch your face in confusion, “Practice?”

“Yeah, what you’re going to say in front of Jungkook.”

“What – why?”

“So, you don’t say anything stupid, or incredibly awkward. We both know words are not your forte when you’re nervous.”

“Who isn’t awkward when nervous?”

“Me,” he clicks his tongue, finishing the last drop of his wine.

With a roll of your eyes, you gesture for him to continue. He beams, adding quickly, “it’s for you, and the sake of all of us that I’m doing this. I don’t wanna have to kick myself from the tension tonight.”

“Ok, so what I think you should do is not really talk to him.”

“What? How is that not awkward?”

“– let me finish,” he wags his finger.

“So, as I was saying, don’t really talk to him tonight, I think you guys should rehash your problems alone – but,” he looks at you dead in the eye, “I swear don’t fall for his shit again, or I’ll kill both of you. I love Kook, but he’s a complete douche.”

You purse your lips, hands laying atop your thighs, and the tap of your foot starting again. No, you cannot be alone with him. No, definitely not. You play with your fingers, eyes strained on the way your thumbs twiddled together.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to be alone with him. I don’t want to talk to him anyway.”

“Good,” Jimin nods, a big enthusiastic smile gracing his lips, almost as if he hadn’t been giving you serious advice just mere moments ago. You find the small crinkle of his eyes strangely reassuring, because they’re so kind especially when he smiles, “don’t worry everything will be fine, it’ll go by super quick.”

You almost believe him

“Seokjin! Hurry up, it’s freezing!” Jimin knocks harder on the wooden door.

“Can you wait, you brat!”

An annoyed Jin opens the door - you and Jimin shuffle in the house immediately, desperate to escape the cold of nightfall. But, as soon as you hear the clang, your chest feels heavy. You can’t leave now. You’re trapped here – with Jungkook.

“Hey,” Jin hugs you, a waft of vanilla tickling your nose pleasantly, you take in his comforting scent with a soft sigh. His arms leave your back, and so do yours, taking a step back to stand at his side.

“Where’s my hug, hyung?”

“You don’t get one, because you’re disrespectful.”

You decide to leave your friends in the entryway, making your way to Seokjin’s bathroom, maybe to throw up, or hide the entire time? Yes, that sounds good.

You pass the numerous doors that line the hallway, rushing to reach the last one, which has a cute plaque marked ‘restroom’ in cursive. Your shaking fingers meet the metallic knob, and twist it open, switching on the light.

Closing the door behind you, you pull down the cover to the toilet seat and sit on top of it. You take off your coat, the thickness suffocating considering the heated rooms of Seokjin’s home. You lay it on your lap.

Okay. So. You are going to see Jungkook. You are not going to talk to him. It’s as simple as that. You also will NOT cry when you see him. No. That you won’t do.

You heave a shaky breath, rising and convincing yourself that it is way time you start facing your fears. You look at yourself in the mirror that hangs over the small sink – you look, normal, casual – no – you look half dead. You feel like you have been through a zombie apocalypse, died, then came back to life.

You shake your head. No! No! You look great, damn it!

You open the door and pinch the bridge of your nose, turning to walk out of the hallway. But, you stop in your tracks, the sight almost making you jump out of your skin – it’s like you see a ghost, and Jungkook is standing right in front of you.

“Y/N –“ he exhales, taking in your appearance with depraved eyes.

“J-Jungkook?” You splutter, shock splayed across your features with how much he has changed. He no longer has blond hair, instead he decided to dye it black – it sweeps his forehead gently, longer around the edges and you have the sudden urge to run your fingers through them, like you have always done in the past.

God, you missed him. God, do you just want to run into his arms and pretend he hasn’t left you so many times before.

Your gaze falls onto the way his lower lip is no longer bare; how it’s now so beautifully decorated by a ring, and how it rests at the edge undisturbed. The only thing that hasn’t changed is the way he looks at you – his stare filled with remorse, like all the other times he begged for your forgiveness, falling to his knees in front of you and laying his head on your stomach as you cried, because you already knew he had you under his spell.

You both stand there – immobile, waiting for the other to utter a word, to break the trance. It’s almost as if a dark cloud nestles itself above your heads, still silent but preparing something that none of you anticipate, because you say to yourself that if you make it through this, then you are home free. The reunion is always the hardest; the moment you see him after months of expecting his return, you crack. But, this time, you won’t let yourself be so foolish.

Hesitating, he takes a step forward, and you take one back, brows knit in caution. He stops upon seeing your dejection, lips upturned and face sullen – he speaks, “How have you been?”

“I’ve been well,” you whisper, the image of him almost too hard to bear, you feel as though you are dreaming.

He nods, “I’m glad.”

Silence. Tension.

It’s suffocating.

Heat starts rising all over your body, beads of sweat rolling off in unconventional places – you can’t handle this, you need to get out of here.

“Jungkook? Y/N?” Namjoon makes an appearance at the end of the hall, your panicked eyes make contact with his surprised ones.

“Uh –“ he nearly gets whiplash with how fast his neck twists from you to Jungkook, “let’s go to the living room, guys…”

Coughing, he rubs his throat nervously and walks out of sight, running for protection and away from the dark cloud that looms over you.

You brush past Jungkook, lips sealed into a tight line, and unable to help the tremble that overtakes you when you catch his sent – it hasn’t changed, it never will. You hear the clonk of his boots follow you to where the boys are, their incessant whispers coming to a halt as soon as they feel your presence in the room.

“Hey, guys!” Hoseok chirps, large smile in place; subtly trying to diffuse the tension with a friendly pat to the cushion, pointing out the free seat at his side.

You shuffle to get there, a quiet sigh leaving you when your back makes contact with the plushy feel of Jin’s couch. Hoseok wraps an arm around your shoulder and leans in to whisper, “it’s fine – breathe.”

“Thank you, hobi.”

Nodding, he parts from you and unweaves his limb from your shaking frame. Yoongi clears his throat, bottle of soju in hand and shifts in his seat.

“So – Jungkook! It’s nice to see you again, man. It’s been a long time, and I think it’s safe to say that we all missed you – even though you’re a pain in the ass,” Yoongi takes a swig from the bottle, “someone get glasses, I need to get drunk.”

Jungkook laughs lightly, “I missed you too, man.”

“Yeah, whatever – glasses, we need glasses,” the older boy points at the bottle, a small raise to his eyebrows.

Seokjin hauls himself up, muttering something as he huffs in annoyance, “I’ll get the glasses, you lazy ass.”

“I bought the booze,” Yoongi retorts, a grimace curving his nose and morphing the line of his lips.

Hoseok laughs, booming sound piercing your eardrums, and you look down at your feet, from fear of meeting Jungkook’s gaze if your eyes strain in his direction, and you know they would.

Suddenly, your mind reals you back to a particular conversation you had with Jungkook years prior, the memory washing over you in a wave of melancholy.

「The wind blew and intertwined with the long patches of grass, weaving through trees and creating reassuring sounds of despair and lamentation. It yearned to reach the stars in the night sky, but it only met the kiss of nature and the tufts of yours and Jungkook’s hair.

You stole glances at the boy who stared longingly at he open sky, lips parted in slight awe as he lied in the back of his pickup truck, with you by his side.

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“Do you ever wonder what’s it like being a star?”

You frowned at his question, “a burning ball of gas?”

He snorted, shaking his head, “you know what I mean. To be contemplated by millions every night; to be free, and unattainable?”

The crease in your brow deepened, “No, I’ve never thought of that,” you casted a glance at the light that was so out of reach yet illuminated darkness and offered hope to an endless tunnel of despair. “But you know that the stars that are here tonight won’t be the same ones that you see in a couple of months.”

“Stop it with that Y/N,” he huffed, a smile spreading across his face, “I mean, to be so admired, and still be out of reach?”

“Like celebrities?”

“Something like that – “

“I guess that’s why we call them stars… why? You want to be a star?” you teased, rising into a sitting position.

“I don’t know,” he propped himself up by his elbows, “I just want something more; to be remembered. I hate this – staying here, going to college, and for what? Just so I can work an office job and come home depressed and complaining about how much my life sucks?”

Wordlessly, you contemplated the downcast glint in his eyes, how the wondrous twinkle in his eye captured the light that shone on you; it was filled with hope, possibilities.

“I don’t know what I want to do with life, but I know it isn’t this.”」

You blink, eyes immediately searching for his face despite promising yourself that you wouldn’t. The light in his eyes – it’s gone. When did it burn out?

“Y/N, take your cup,” Hoseok shoves the shot glass in your face, urging you to take it. So, with a shake to your fingers, you do.

The strong stench of the liquor drowns out your senses, and you wince at the sting it brings to your eyes – it’s been a while since you have gotten drunk.

“To Jungkook, and his return –“ Namjoon shouts happily raising his glass, and clinking it with Jimin’s, who gives you wary glance.

“To Jungkook!”

But it doesn’t go without a scoff, “he’ll be gone in like a week.”

Heads turn towards Yoongi, “fine, sorry – to Jungkook.” He chuckles, downing the glass and licking his lips as if it were water, already thirsty for more.

“Hit me up again.”

Taehyung complies, serving Yoongi, then bringing the liquor to his lips. His forehead creases in distaste – he never did like strong alcohol.

“So,” Taehyung coughs, liquor still burning his throat, “Kook, how has life been? What did you do while you were away?”

“Uh,” Jungkook sneaks a glance at you, and you’re too busy, making sure the last drop of alcohol has dripped onto your tongue, to notice. “Well –“ your head snaps to meet his eyes, the sound of his voice like the chime of distant bells to your ears.

“- I just traveled around the country, nothing much…”

“Ah –“ Taehyung trails off.

“Yah! Speak up! What did you do around the country?” You recognize Jimin’s voice – he’s uncomfortable, you can tell, this is exactly what he didn’t want, so he tries to break the tension.

“I stayed in motels, drank beer, and got a job as a pizza delivery guy – Jesus, will you chill.”

You take the time Jungkook is distracted, to memorize every new detail of his features – he has a scar on his jaw that wasn’t there before. You need more alcohol. Yes. That’s what you need.

“Ho-hoseok? More Soju, please?”

He gives a languid smirk, filling your shot glass to the brim, and you tip it – the rancid liquid carving its way in your system.

“More?”

The colorless drink slides down your throat for a third time.

Two bottles in, and all of you are hopelessly drunk.

“So, I said to the dude, you can’t touch my rap skills, and he was like yes, I can, so we had a rap battle, and I beat the shit out of his ass.” Yoongi slurs, a lazy laugh exposing his small teeth.

“When was that?” Namjoon chuckles, hand running up and down Jin’s thigh, who is already passed out, and sprawled at the end of the couch.

“When, I was like 17 – damn, I miss rapping, I haven’t rapped in more than 8 years”

“Wanna have a rap battle?” Namjoon wiggles his brows, standing up abruptly and nearly knocking Jin off the edge.

“Fuck, yeah!”

You can’t even think – your mind barely registering your surroundings. You feel awful. You want to throw up, cry, and cry again. Hoseok sits next to you, flushed red to his ears with a blank expression on his face, you find it is quite a funny sight. You giggle stupidly despite the acid churning in your stomach, threatening to climb up and spill everything you’ve eaten today.

Jungkook is staring at the ceiling, legs spread apart - he whispers, “Do you hate me, Y/N?”

You don’t hear.

Gibberish resounds in the room as Yoongi spits out random lyrics. Your eyes flutter shut, head bobbing to what seems like fantastic rap in your alcohol induced state.

“Ha!” Taehyung cackles, “Yoongi is so gonna beat Namjoon!” Arms find purchase at his sides, as he doubles over laughing.

“Naaah! I have my bets on Jooniiie! You hear that Yoongles? Namjoon is going to beat you, and my love for candles will live on! Come on, Joon!”

“Jungkook,” you hum absentmindedly, heart reaching out before your mind has time to react, “why do you always leave me?”

His neck turns abruptly, gaze burning holes into your stirring form. Did you just speak to him?

Your eyes droop, and you fight the urge to fall asleep, “well?”

“Y/N,” he starts, ignoring your question and opting to beg instead, “please forgive me,” he whimpers - barely audible in the mindless chatter that drowns the room. His sweet features bear unmistakable pain and regret – just like they always do when he comes slithering back.

“No – I want to know why.” You demand, the pitch of your tone a tad whiny under all the intoxication.

“Please – forgive me –“

Your eyes threaten to give out.

“Why do you always leave me?” You whisper, a tiny sob retches from your lips before you pass out.

You have been able to avoid Jungkook for the past 4 days. He hasn’t texted nor called you; and even though you say to yourself that it is necessary, a small part of you craves his mere presence.

You’re done with work, after an exhausting night of photocopying sheets and sheets of paper your boss ‘absolutely’ needed, you finally head home – at 10 p.m.

The sad part is, you always end up working overtime – your superior seems to like making you suffer.

You grumble at the thought of her high heels and her ruby red lipstick, the shape of her pantsuit taking on her perfect curves. You admire her level of sophistication, one you can never achieve – but bitterness doesn’t fail to invade you at the thought of her commandeering voice when she orders you to photocopy her stupid forms.

The lack of an elevator in your building makes you all the more grumpy, when you realize you have to hike up 5 flights of stairs just to reach your apartment. With a tired sigh, you take off your heels, carrying them in your hand as you walk bare-footed up the stairs.

By the time you reach the fourth floor, you’re out of breath. You heave, placing a palm on your knee and scolding yourself for procrastinating about hitting the gym.

One more floor.

You turn on the light when you make it to your floor, and almost scream when you finally see the shape that sits at the side of your door. He stands up immediately brushing off his black jeans, dark circles under his dimly lit eyes – so you haven’t been the only one that hasn’t been getting enough sleep.

“Jungkook, what are you doing here?”

You can’t help the horrified expression bearing your face – you don’t know what to do.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” he looks frustrated, the strands of his hair tussled, and lower lip swollen from the abuse of his teeth.

“I –“ you almost choke from the big breath of air you take, “It’s not a good idea, Jungkook.”

You try to sidestep him to get to the door, the key shaking in your grasp. He blocks you, “No, don’t do this, hear me out – “

“– why should I?” you hiss, anger filled eyes searching his own.

“Just, please – just – I won’t try anything, ok?” The way his eyes are wide in a plea, makes him so hard to ignore – so you cave, like you always do.

“Fine,” you whisper, opening the door to your apartment and allowing Jungkook to enter.

He steps in behind you, a small sigh leaving his lips, because he has missed your apartment and the way it smells like you. It’s always been so homely, so you – the way you sometimes leave your clothes scattered around from lack of time, or how you always leave small notes on the fridge that remind you of the things you know you would forget.

“Please take off your shoes – oh”

But, they’re already off, and he walks ahead of you, entering the living room. He sits on the couch, hands securely placed on his thighs, rubbing them up and down nervously.

“You can take off your jacket – I’m going to change.” You inform, then proceed to sprint to your bedroom and shut the door behind you.

“Oh my god, oh my god!”

Panicking, you drop your shoes next to your bed mindlessly and scroll through your messages, finding the exchange between you and Jimin.

A message to chimchim:

[Jimin! JIMIN! HELP! JUNGKOOK IS IN MY APARTMENT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!]

The time you have to wait for his reply seems infinite despite it being only 3 mins.

A message from chimchim:

[wtf? How?]

[okay, uuuuh]

[just play it cool!]

[BE FIRM!]

[don’t give him a window of opportunity, Y/N!]

[you’ll have to explain how the fuck all of this happened!]

[it better be good!]

The series of dings you receive serve to calm the fast thrum of your heart. You take a deep breath, typing in an answer.

A message to chimchim:

[ok. Thank you, Jimin.]

[I love you]

You throw your phone on your bed, ungracefully ditching your skirt and blouse in haste. You rummage through your drawer, dressed in your bra and unattractive pair of underwear. You throw on a random sweater and a large pair of sweatpants.

You patter your way to the living room, Jungkook in the same position you left him in, staring into space.

“Do you want coffee?” you ask softly, breaking his train of thoughts, his head snaps up taking in your form. He nods, “yeah, that would be nice…”

Your kitchen is a slight mess – the sink is charged with dishes, and you forgot to sweep up the abundance of crumbs you spilled on the floor in a hurry to get to work. You place the task to clean up at the far end of your mind, turning on the kettle. The pop of the switch resonates unpleasantly in your ear, the sound amplified in your state of fatigue.

You pull out two mugs from your cupboard, almost dropping them when you notice Jungkook’s old mug peeking out, from the back. It is nestled behind your unnecessarily large number of motivational cups.

You find it hard to breathe again, the sudden memory of him using the mug a copious amount of times, the way he laughed while holding it in his two hands, surges to the forefront of your ridiculous mind.

You push some of your other mugs in front of it, hiding it from view. You close your cupboards with a light bang, making the wall vibrate with the force. You wince, afraid to have disturbed the neighbors. Grimace invading your features, you make the coffee, and stir the finished product with a tea spoon.

You gulp and exit the open kitchen, feet meeting the soft carpet of your living room – the padding muffles the patter of your feet.

“Here’s your coffee.”

Jungkook jumps at the sound of your voice, flustered and lips parted, ring glistening wetly under the warm hue of your lamp.

“Thank you.”

You sit down next to him, placing your mug carefully on the coffee table and turn to face him, eager to get to the point so you could get this over with.

He copies your flow of movement, eyes meeting yours. You shuffle back, the proximity, taking you by surprise and rendering you speechless under his intense stare.

“S-so – uh –“ the nervous tap of your foot starts, and his eyes fly to the tic for a split second before landing back on your face, “what did you want to talk about?”

“I just wanted to say that I missed you – “

All the air that fuels your lungs, leaves your body in a big whoosh. You feel as if someone punched you in the gut, hating the impact his simple words have on you. Jungkook watches the way you react to him with greedy eyes – he rushes to speak again.

“I’m not going to say anything more, because I know you don’t want to hear it – but please let me stay a little bit longer, I’ve missed being near you.”

And there it goes again, the ridiculous pounding of your heart.

“I-I don’t think it’s a good ide – “

He cuts you off, “please?”

You dare to look at his pretty eyes, and they always get you. Your body language gives Jungkook an idea of what your answer will be, and relief floods his system.

With slumped shoulders, you whisper, “Okay.”

You reach for the remote and turn on the television. The recorded laughter of an audience sounds in the room as reruns of The Big Bang Theory fill the screen.

You avert your eyes to the tv, trying your best to ignore the way Jungkook’s warm stare heats up your body in an embarrassing way. Pulling your thoughts out of the gutter, you are determined to keep focus on the episode of where Sheldon and Amy finally have sex – at least someone is getting it.

You cough, shifting uncomfortably with the mixture of your thoughts and Jungkook’s burning gaze. You try not to get any ideas, convincing yourself that there is no specific reason that he is looking at you that way.

You watch the screen intently, directing your attention on the way Sheldon knocks repeatedly on Penny’s door. Over the course of two episodes, Jungkook’s gaze never dies down – you find it only gets harder to brush off.

Slowly, but sweetly the thunderous cloud starts to form over your heads again. The tension suffocating and mortifying – the coffee you drink suddenly feels too hot and the weight of your sweater too heavy.

You inhale deeply, ignoring the way a bead of sweat slides down your temple, and Jungkook’s eyes trail the trajectory down to your throat. His incessant staring grows hotter second by second, and what was supposed to be innocent in the beginning, now turns into something dark – sinful in the way he licks his lower lip unconsciously.

Times seems to stop. Each second grows longer than the other, mocking you and enjoying the torture inflicted upon you with Jungkook in the same room, and yet so unattainable. But, with the temperature of your body steadily rising, and the lack of an opened window, it is almost as if you forget the reason you aren’t jumping Jungkook.

Thoughts of controlling himself are thrown down the drain, and the fox-like side of him comes out to play.

“Y/N?” He hums, inching a little too close to you.

“Yes, Jungkook?”

You both stay at a stand still for a moment, studying the other earnestly. Jungkook stalks you like a lion, nearly positioned on all fours, as he takes in your flustered state – lips parted so invitingly and chest heaving up and down to take in the minimal air that oxygenates the room. One of your knees is propped up on the bed, while the other dangles off the edge – a slightly protective stance but a welcoming one nonetheless.

“Y/N –“ he breathes - the sound dripping with sexual intent and so enticing it has you whimper.

The momentum is broken – and Jungkook lunges for his prey.

You jump to meet his lips, the warm pillowy flesh molding with your dry ones, the sizzling metal of his ring engraving itself into your memory. His hands find your lower back sliding to your ass and down your thigh, hoisting it up as he lies you down. You savor the rough feel of his lips, his teeth coming out to tease your own, and tugging at them till it stings. The way your fingers card through his black hair, has him growling, his grip on your thigh tightening enough to bruise.

“God,” he parts from you, sound wet and crude. His thumb comes up to swipe your lips, parting the swollen flesh and trailing the slickness of your mixed saliva to your pulse point, pressing on it lightly. “I’ve missed you so much,” he presses harder against the beat of your heart, enjoying how it rushes at his touch. “I missed the way you react so easily to my touch,” he replaces his thumb with his tongue, laving the spot gently with the muscle – the sensation has you shuddering.

He squeezes your thigh harder, pulling you closer when you arch your back, eager to press your body into his, to feel the curve of his crotch.

“Did you miss me, Y/N?”

You moan in agreement, drawing his lips back to yours and tasting the metal punctured in his lower one. He smiles, “Hm – someone’s desperate,” his hand leaves the dip of your ass, making way to the juncture between your legs.

Jungkook presses his palm to your pussy, stimulating your clit through the cotton of your pants, and you gasp, a whine following your sharp intake. He kisses your chin delicately, proceeding to dip down your neck and lick a stripe all the way to your wanting mouth. “Tell me,” he presses down harder, “you must’ve been pretty deprived to act so needy – how long has it been since somebody took care of your pretty cunt.”

You close your eyes, lips parted but no sound escaping them – he brings his hand forth again, “nphmg.”

“Come on. Answer, Y/N.” he grazes his tongue against your collarbone.

“Since you left, God –“ you moan as he palms at your core relentlessly, “ – you left.”

Whimpering, you repeat, “you left me – God, you left me.” The mist that fogged your thoughts clears.

Jungkook freezes and fear overrides his lust, “W-what?”

“Stop, Jungkook, stop –“ you struggle to escape the way his body cages you in, reason making way into your mind.

He reels back to other end of the couch, lips swollen, and expression dazed. His eyes contain a mix of confusion and hurt, so different from the dominance they held moments ago.

Breath uneven, you stare at him. No. The memories of all the times you woke up to an empty bed haunt your vision, and suddenly, the light you see Jungkook under, changes. The warm colors of your lamp now cast a dark glow on his angelic features, entangling him with thorns. So beautiful, but unattainable. Just like he always wanted.

“I think you need to leave,” you whisper, looking down to where your pants stick to your sweaty skin.

You don’t bother to look as he gets up, pulling your legs to your chest and hugging them in search of comfort. He wordlessly makes his way to your front door and leaves. As soon as you hear the metal close on it’s hinges, a sob retches from your throat, sound echoing throughout the empty apartment.

↝ Masterlist ↜

(A/N: there is going to be a part 2, might focus on other things first, though. Feedback is really, really appreciated, if you want a second part please say so.)

#bts smut #jungkook smut #bts #bangtan smut #Jungkook angst #bts jungkook #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #bts scenarios #one shot #bts one shot #jeon jungkook #kpopwonderlandtag #prettyboysnetwork #bangtanarmynet #kwordsmiths #bangtanbuds

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 6 years

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HitClips: Remembering the most absurd way we listened to music

If you were a child growing up in the late 90s or early 2000s, odds are you remember the most entertaining and hilariously nonsensical way of listening to music: HitClips.

In 1999, Hasbro's Tiger Electronics released the "slick micro audio systems" known as HitClips, tiny memory card-like chips that contained a 60-second "clip" of a super popular song. In the early days, that meant tracks from Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, and Britney Spears, and later they included middle school anthems from Avril Lavigne, Hilary Duff, Simple Plan, and more.

SEE ALSO: Outdated ways of listening to music, ranked

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While, from a tech standpoint, HitClips clearly weren't the most innovative devices, they had such a strong cultural impact that for years, people actually felt compelled to spend money on tiny snippets of full songs — a concept that, in hindsight, seems impossibly absurd.

So what exactly made HitClips so successful? And could they ever follow vinyl's path and make a comeback in today's world? To answer these questions, let's take a trip down memory lane.

y'all remember hit clips? i had all the slaps lmao pic.twitter.com/pzGbcOU2fO

— baby💮 (@m0delofiend) August 23, 2018

I recently uncovered my old HitClips players when attempting to clean my basement, but much to my dismay, my extensive song library — hot jams by A*Teens, Baha Men, Aaron Carter, Destiny’s Child, Dream Street, and dozens more — is still packed away somewhere.

Luckily, a single chip was with the devices. Unfortunately for us, that chip happened to be *NSYNC's "It's Gonna Be Me," which is now almost exclusively associated with memes.

The history of HitClips

HitClips initially debuted as toys in select McDonald's kids meals, but became so popular that they transitioned to the main toy/electronics market. That's when things got really exciting.

From 1999 to 2004, HitClips captivated the minds of budding young music lovers, and over the years, the brand ambitiously moved from basic listening devices to tiny CD players and fun extras.

Back in the day, a player cost $20.00 and a cartridge went for $3.99, which seems like a lot of money, even now. But the price seemed worth it back then considering the collectible tunes quickly became status symbols for America's youth. In school hallways and on playgrounds, the more clips that swung from your keychains, backpacks, or belt loops, the cooler you were. Life was once as simple as that.

The basic player 🎶

Image: martha tesema/mashable

The anatomy of most original HitClips devices were the same. Each player was about two inches long, had a slot for the chip, a single headphone wire that connected to an earpiece, a "Play" button, and a clip on the back so that users could conveniently fasten the devices to their clothing.

One of the first HitClips players I ever purchased (picture above) had a headphone wire that was just 12 inches long, which essentially meant that unless you were extremely petite, there was no way you could clip that thing on your belt and listen to music at the same time.

HitClips eventually remedied this flaw, and though users still dealt with poor sound quality, no volume control, and an inability to enjoy music in both ears, I like other naive children considered these toys among my most prized possessions.

HitClips Discs 💿

Image: martha tesema/mashable

As if the tiny versions of cassette tapes weren't adorable (and unnecessary) enough, in 2003 (near HitClips' retirement,) Tiger Electronics created HitClips Discs that played not one, but TWO minutes of music. Ca-chingggg.

These li'l Oreo-creme-filling-sized discs completely upped the game, but also required completely new players. So in the spirit of not making the original HitClips chips completely irrelevant (they were pricey, after all,) several hybrid devices that played both varieties were invented.

The extras 😎

Image: martha tesema/mashable

As any true fan of the amateur listening device will tell you, the real HitClips magic lay beyond the straightforward players.

You were nothing unless you had some snazzy HitClips extras, like an FM radio scanner attachment, or a three-inch-long boom box that played your tunes out loud for all to enjoy. There was an alarm clock, a Dance Bot, and even a karaoke device called the HitClips Groove Machine that somehow featured Destiny's Child in its commercial.

one time as a kid my parents wanted to follow a big gator football game, but it wasn't being aired on tv on a channel we got so they used the only working radio we had: my little hit clips boom box with the radio receiver cartridge plugged in pic.twitter.com/2NGiWROzg9

— Bobby Schroeder (@ponettplus) July 3, 2018

These came in handy and made the very limited devices a bit more functional. Who wouldn't want to blast a minute of Smash Mouth's "All Star" over and over again?

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Less is more: An elaborate sham

The allure of HitClips is best summed by a moment from an episode of The Office where Michael Scott keeps listening to the iTunes Music Store preview of James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover" on repeat after breaking up with his girlfriend Carol.

When his colleague Dwight Schrute asks, "Why don't you just buy the whole song?" Michael replies, "I don't have to buy it. I just want a taste of it."

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Now, in this particular scenario, Michael was likely too cheap to purchase the full song. But the sentiment still remains. HitClips did an excellent job of making consumers feel like they needed only a taste of a song to be satisfied. And our silly little brains — distracted by the novelty of miniature music players and more collectible clutter for our keychains — cast aside any shred of reasonable thinking and believed this to be true.

Think about it: People were willing to spend money on part of a song when FULL SONGS existed for less. And in some cases, people (me) already owned the full songs and even full ALBUMS, but still chose to pay more money for a song clip. That's madness. And it worked, because by 2002, Tiger Electronics had reportedly sold more than 20 million HitClips devices, bringing in $80 million. And that doesn't include sales through 2004.

There's certainly an argument that HitClips were more convenient to carry around than Walkmans or CD players, but when you really sit back and think about the logic of it all, it doesn't seem to hold up. In reality, we all got duped with HitClips. But in the moment, all that really mattered was that we felt trendy AF.

Can HitClips make a comeback?

It's been about fourteen years since HitClips were discontinued, and though they'll always hold a special place in our nostalgia-hungry hearts, the thought of a resurgence today is truly laughable.

Nowadays iTunes gives you a 1:30 song preview for FREE, and charges $1.29 on average for a single track. So why would anyone go back to paying more for less music?

Kids these days will never appreciate hit clips keychains and that makes me a little sad

— Tabby Moore (@tabbykmoore) August 27, 2018

Today we're accustomed to high-tech touch screens, shareable playlists, and instant gratification. In other words, we're spoiled. Imagine paying money for iTunes and Spotify song previews. You would NEVER — especially when you have access to free songs on YouTube and Spotify (if you're willing to endure a few occasional advertisements). And since streaming caught on, most people have stopped purchasing music altogether in favor of streaming service subscriptions.

Though HitClips would likely still capture the interest of kids, for the adults who once owned them, reverting back song clips would be a bit like trying to switch back to dial-up internet. (Okay, MUCH less painful than that.) The point is, we're too advanced and too impatient now.

I will say, when I brought my devices to the office, my coworkers were really feeling them. And HitClips still remain a topic of nostalgia-tinged jokes.

When will sweetener be released on hitclips?? @ArianaGrande

— matt (@mattdaly) August 20, 2018

Fixin’ to drop my first mixtape, available on Hit Clips everywhere pic.twitter.com/86QYzQtZjx

— Tom Simmermaker (@tomsimmo) August 21, 2018

THIS JUST IN: OMAROSA SAID TO HAVE OVER 200 HITCLIPS OF THE PRESIDENT AND ALSO THE SPICE GIRLS pic.twitter.com/73ofq1G7HW

— Anthony Carboni (@acarboni) August 17, 2018

Foolish or not, these toys were an important step in music history that helped prep the world for the iPod's release in 2001. For many people, HitClips served as a first experience with a handheld, deconstructed mix tape. Unlike Walkmans and CD players, HitClips let you switch between songs and artists with ease. There was no skipping through tracks you didn't like — you simply selected the song you wanted from your collection of clips.

Sure, they were much less advanced than iPods, but the concept foreshadowed the mind-blowing tech to come. And after the iPod came out, HitClips helped fill voids in the hearts of those who were still too young to own an Apple product.

HitClips aren't likely to make a comeback, unless, as Twitter user @punchworm suggests, an ~extra~ brand tries to revive them for nostalgia's sake.

i just know that the product manager at urban outfitters is waiting for just the right moment to bring back hitclips

— nia (@punchworm) August 26, 2018

But if you're dying to live the HitClips lifestyle now, you can buy them on Amazon or eBay for a pretty penny. Until then, I offer you the best of both worlds with this HitClips-themed Spotify playlists.

But remember, you should listen to just a minute each song if you really want that nostalgic vibe.

WATCH: This multi-instrumentalist understands the rhythm of the subway

#_category:yct:001000002 #_author:Nicole Gallucci #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_uuid:35137ef5-4ac1-35f6-aa8e-32d9510f8507 #_revsp:news.mashable

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