#the process of being there for a child | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nick-close · 6 months

Text

Idk why when it comes to Glenn people forget about the generational trauma aspect of the podcast entirely. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to like him- but people act like he acts this way because he was just. Born a bad person. Chose to be that way. But for Henry or Ron, because they face a much more direct form of abuse it’s easy to spot- and the way it affected them is ironically more palatable for people.

Idk, people can’t stand the idea that trauma makes you a worse person sometimes. Sometimes you don’t get a fear of expressing anger, or people pleasing, or awkward and funny misinterpretations. Sometimes you just avoid being vulnerable or accountable and end up childish. Hell, we see this with the s2 dads sometimes too. If Sparrow ended up like this, it isn’t because his dad did everything right and he decided to fuck it all up. Shit happened!!! There’s always a cycle!!!

262 notes · View notes

mikakuna · 2 months

Text

i see this jason todd who actually looks his very young age (instead of the 30yr old man that comics like to portray)

and feel my heart breaking just imagining bruce beating him up, almost killing him, mind-breaking him, and just overall being a total piece of shit father towards him.

a huge chunk of the reason why people don't view bruce's actions towards jason as abusive or wrong is because jason doesn't look his age. he's drawn to be this 35yr old father of three who looks even older than dick (and way too on par with bruce) that people see their fights as one between batman and any of his regular rogues. when they fight, it just looks like batman is fighting a man his age and not an actual young person. it doesn't look like batman is fighting his son who's barely even drinking age (and who def wasn't drinking age in utrh). their fights are portrayed in a way that eliminates the very real power struggle between them.

this applies to jason's entire character as well. a lot of people don't sympathize with how he died or his actions as robin or his fights with the other bats because he doesn't look his age. he always looks older and scarier than everyone else. tim has many sympathizers from the titans tower incident because jason just looked like a grown man fighting a 12yr old (even tho i disagree, tim was built and like 17 lmfao).

anyways, i just wish comics would actually draw jason to look his age, which literally ranges from 19 to early twenties. he's young- so young, and it's so annoying to see him drawn and written as someone older than even bruce.

#the way everyone in jason's robin run saw him as this adult despite him being 12-15 #like what the fuck #just because a child has experienced more than the average adult doesn't make him any less of a child #it's like the typical groomer thought process #if jason was shown younger in arkham knigjt for example there'd be less people calling him whiny #they showed 15yr old jason's torture scenes like he was a 25 yr old #he should've been shown as the small child he was #it would've put more perspective into how cruel and fucked it was of the rogues to torture a literal child #and then bruce almost killing him in rhato...#now imagine if jason looked his age there #honestly this all just feeds into the idea that jason feels too small for his big body #imagine being this tiny kid growing up and then dying and coming back to life as this tank #arghhhhh!!!!!#jason todd #red hood #batman #jason peter todd #bruce wayne #jason todd deserves better

2K notes · View notes

cosmicwhoreo · 7 months

Text

.... Okay, so I might have made a ahit oc during my downtime. Based on the idea of "yeah the idea of hat kid being a little space orphan doing a job is sad.... But what if they were separated from their family and needed to get back home instead?"

And what if their worried mother came to the planet they were on, looking for them after they'd JUST LEFT like a month ago?

SOOOOOO HERE'S SUMMER!

I may have gotten carried away with myself on this idea-

#I THOUGHT IT'D BE A FUN IDEA FOR LIKE A FAN SEQUEL OKAY??#Just a worried mom looking for their little gremlin of a kid while said kid's friends are still processing them being gone-#Getting progressively more and more angry the longer she's stuck on the planet with these bozos and not finding her child #I don't got any programming knowledge so this idea's staying an idea for the rest of time #I... I have more of her #she's a good mom #Summer #ahit #a hat in time #a hat in time oc #Hat Mom #I SWEAR I'M FINISHING COMMISSIONS JUST LET ME BE ABNORMAL OKAY?

1K notes · View notes

furiousgoldfish · 1 year

Text

One of the issues you run into when you're not allowed to express anger as a child, is that you're no longer able to get angry. When you're in a situation that should evoke rage, you instead feel fear, anxiety, panic, or grief, emotional hurt and helplessness. You end up operating a body that cannot feel or express anger. The only times you do feel angry is when you're directing it at yourself, it comes as a form of self hatred, and desire to cause pain and injury to yourself. Because this is the only way you would have been allowed to be angry, only way it was safe, to direct it at yourself, same as everyone else is doing constantly, teaching you that it's normal and expected.

Growing up like this means that all of the anger from your childhood keeps getting stored into your body instead of externalized, and you still cannot get angry when the situation demands it. Instead, when you're being disrespected and injustice is served in your face, you can either feel helpless and lost, or the frustration you feel irritates you so much you cannot stand it. Your body is not used to feeling anger and doesn't know how to process it. Instead it feels like you're going to explode, restless, endlessly irritated and at a complete loss on how to handle it. Because you never learned how to handle anger, except to take it out on yourself, and you might be driven to just keep doing that, forever.

Taking a stand for yourself and confronting whoever deserved your anger might still feel terrifying and all of the insane things that happened to you as a result of childhood anger might get triggered. You might feel too frightened to confront them because you can imagine all sorts of ways it could come back to hurt you - this person could try to get you fired, for example. They might smear campaign you and get you evicted, they could threaten you with something or blackmail you, they could destroy something of yours, spread rumors, hold a grudge and do thousand times worse to you. Those are thoughts evoked by memories of childhood, where abusive parents threatened and did any or all of these things, including torture, in order to keep you from expressing anger.

However this person is hurting you right now, unprovoked, and getting no resistance. From that, they're learning that they can keep doing it, with zero consequences, because you've already been broken and cannot fight back. That is a dangerous situation to be in too, even if it is impossible to predict whether this person is insane like your parents and will try to get revenge for any bit of resistance for their abuse.

I had situations where I would be pushed over the edge and allowed my anger to come out at someone - and people would sometimes complain about it, but they would usually back off, and I would regain my peace of mind because I created a consequence for disturbing it. Anger, however, doesn't feel good. My body is not used to it so it makes me incredibly tense, stressed, frustrated and upset, and it doesn't go away for several days, even weeks sometimes. Because scratching the surface of it evokes the repressed childhood anger which is almost unbearable with how giant it is.

Human body can learn to process anger, it can feel better, more powerful and more in control because of it. It can protect you without inflicting damage to others. It doesn't make you anything like your abusers, who let their anger out at someone who wasn't their equal, had no way to fight back, and did not deserve any of it. Your anger creates boundaries that keep you safe, it doesn't exist to torture others for existing.

It's easy to fall back into the place where you don't want to be angry, and try to be accommodating and allowing of injustice, just so you don't have to feel frustrated and afraid. I often fall back on it too, just wanting to live and have peace. But life around other people often doesn't allow it, and sometimes anger is necessary to send a message of what boundaries will not be crossed without a consequence. Anger is not a bad feeling, it is an act of self love. It comes out to let you know that you've been treated unfairly and it's there because it's telling you that you matter. That treating you unfairly is something to get mad about.

#anger #rage #anger issues #cptsd #abused child #abuse symptoms #trauma symptoms #repressed anger #processing anger #anger builds boundaries #ptsd #traumatic anger #internalized anger #anger directed at self #not being allowed to bring angry creates self hatred #self love #abuse recovery #trauma recovery

2K notes · View notes

seasicksilver · 1 month

Text

good old times

#invincible #invincible show #invincible fanart #mark grayson #nolan grayson #debbie grayson #fan art #artists on tumblr #digital art #sketch #doodle #my art #i headcanon that mark was THE ugliest baby ever and nolan's immediate reaction to seeing mark was the most disgusted 'ew' of all time #mainly bc i think it would be the funniest thing ever actually #then he gets attached and is like 'how did this happen. he is so ugly'#nolan grayson: mark may be an ugly baby. but he is MY ugly baby #sorry i have actual deep thoughts about this show but i have to meme on it or else it becomes a little too depressing #nolan being clueless about kids. esp human kids is another hc #humans are so fragile so i must bundle my part human child in winter clothes in the middle of spring <- nolan's thought process #debbie thinks it's cute #making myself depressed knowing how this family turns out #whatever nolan wins the most divorced man award. i need debbie to explode him #what could have been scenarios always get me because like. what if nolan stopped being constipated and had a rational thought for once #if he was able to see how insane the viltrumite way of life was and was able to properly cope with breaking away from it...

219 notes · View notes

arthurtaylorlester · 5 months

Text

i can’t believe i’m having to say this but arthur calling john a child ≠ john actually being a child

#nor does it mean they have a father/son relationship #like listen to s1-2 and tell me at any given point does john act like child #is he young and bad at being human because he just started? yes #but calling him a child imo is a bad analogy #mostly because even children are BORN inherently human #he gets to turn into one #is he bad at processing feelings? yes but its hardly any fault of his #malevolent #malevolent podcast #unhinged aromantics #john malevolent #john doe #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #masked

277 notes · View notes

poppiesforthirteen · 1 year

Text

i don't get people who don't like looms because "when two time lords love each other very much they send a formal application to the council to use a machine that is in their house" is so much funnier than a nuclear family

#it's also about the Themes #like if you loom a childe it skips all those developmental stages where it's 100% reliant on caretakers #tying into gallifreyan emotional neglect and children being forced to grow up too quickly #you can just Create More People there's absolutely no physicality required for it #time nobility is a society so deeply allergic to genuine attachment why would they allow for unpredictable biological processes #like pregnancy. why would they want all those hormones #population control - even less people to join their elite society. not to mention the eugenics #looms are a great meme but they're an even better plot device #i haven't read lungbarrow yet #looms #🥀

1K notes · View notes

selfabsorbed-selfdeceived · 5 months

Text

shout out to sasha waybright for wearing the same outfit her entire life

#amphibia #sasha waybright #the jean jacket pink skirt combo has her in a chokehold #please for the love of god #wear something else #amphibia was the best thing to ever happen to her fashion sense #maybe being a child soldier has its perks (slay uniform)#pokémon evolution ass aging process

127 notes · View notes

p4nishers · 4 months

Text

thinking about the relationship between mightily oats' "the worthwhile [words] don't burn" and constable dorfl's "the words in the heart cannot be taken"

#especially the journey both of them had to go through to get to the point of saying that. like the whole of carpe jugulum oats was so TORN #and before that too about what words could you believe and who could you really trust on their word about om and the prophets and he went #out of his way to look up records disproving what the book of om said bc he KNEW nothing they said could be believed and just all the pain #and all that doubt he went thru and the part where he questioned om's 'infinite compassion' as he prayed bc really what compassion?#how many people prayed at the stake just like he was doing in that moment? how many people had to live with the silence of their god just #like he did? but still when his book of om – that he clung to the whole book for reassurance – burned he said the worthily words don't burn #the worthily words are in the heart and in the mind and not feed into his mouth by old man who just #made things up to justify their actions. he had all the words he needded the whole time and holiness was always all around him. he just had #to look #and dorfl being created with words in his head that dictated his every move . words that chained him. then he and the other golems created #'king' for themselves in the hope he'd lead them to freedom but they put too many words in his head and he failed and carrot gave dorfl his #own freedom and his own words and that lead to dorfl destroying his well child basically and destroying himself in the process but the word #in his heart his OWN words remained and they were able to rebuilt him and vimes give him a voice and his words and belief remained in him b #they were always his #god. sorry for the ramble im severally unwell about them #mightily oats #constable dorfl #carpe jugulum #feet of clay #gnu terry pratchett #discworld

144 notes · View notes

blueskittlesart · 10 months

Note

do u have any navi thoughts from your oot replay

i've been waiting to answer this until I actually beat the game in my current playthrough because navi is another one of those characters that i think of in like a "set" with several other characters who serve relatively the same thematic purpose; in this case that purpose being the "mother" character, and i wanted to have all the characters in that set fresh in my mind. it's notable that while oot shows us very clear and consistent instances of the ways in which the adults of hyrule fail to protect their children, there ARE several adults who DO go out of their way to both oppose ganondorf and protect and nurture the children under their care. All of these characters are adult women, and all of them explicitly help the children out of some sort of parental responsibility or sense of duty towards them. in this group I include link's late mother, impa, nabooru, and navi.

all 4 mother characters, despite being adults or adult-coded, reject the inaction mentality which characterizes other adults in the game. they become either direct supports or shields to their children from the conflict the world has to offer them, and they are always explicitly punished for their interference--link's mother is killed trying to protect her son, impa's village is burned, nabooru is brainwashed. The mother's fatal flaw is that she will protect her child above all else, even in a world in which children cannot truly be protected. however, with the exception of link's mother, these characters manage to persist even in the face of her punishment, and this is where I think navi becomes the exemplary character.

Navi, after a lifetime of being link's only support system, the only adult in his life he could truly, consistently count on, receives her punishment at the hands of ganondorf--in the final battle, she is pushed out. she is unable to reach her child. she cannot protect him. However, BECAUSE link has grown up with her at his side, he is strong enough to take ganondorf down. and when ganon rises again, navi is there to support link, promising not to leave his side, and the intuitive targeting of that battle (a mechanic which navi is inherently tied to!!) makes it a cinch to win. Navi, and the other mothers we meet, are a reminder to the player that the world doesn't HAVE to be the way it is. Their persistence when punished, their insistence that their children ought to be protected, is a reminder that good adults do exist, and that good adults raise good children. link and zelda are able to win in spite of the adults who refused to help them, but also BECAUSE of the adults who DID. It's a reinforcement of the core theme of oot--that childlike idea that the world SHOULD be good and fair and if it isn't, it should be changed until it is. The mothers of oot are examples of what the world COULD be, reminders that it is possible to grow up without losing hope or growing bitter, and they are examples of the next step for the children they've raised to change the word--to continue fighting even in the face of punishment, to refuse inaction, and to foster that same hope and persistence in the generations to come.

#one thing i've really been noticing this time around is the specific way in which navi's targeting works #because even though other 3d games have that targeting mechanic navi's targeting is noticeably different #in two ways. the first being that she specifically targets weak spots in enemies almost as if she is pointing them out to link #and the second being that she is capable of targeting things link himself doesn't see #whether it be invisible enemies or triggers that are out of his reach or scarecrow points or whatever #it's really reminiscent to me of the way you teach problem solving skills to a kid. you see them struggling with something and beginning to #get frustrated and you say 'hey let's look around. do you see any solutions?' and if they can't see the solution themself you might point #and say 'hey what's that?' just to get their attention on it and help facilitate that train of thought for them #because like in most other games targeting is sort of assumed to be link's own intuition in battle #and therefore it will usually allow you to focus on one enemy within a swarm of them but it won't explicitly light up the weak spot for you #navi does that for link because she's essentially the mother teaching her kid how to problem-solve.#and when she's taken away in the final battle link is able to fight anyway BECAUSE she put so much time and effort into raising him #that he no longer needs her to facilitate that problem-solving process. he already knows how to beat ganondorf #because he's done it with her before. and that's exactly the mother's role in her child's life #protect him and raise him as best you can so that when you can no longer be by his side he isn't afraid.#foster that sense of justice and encourage him to keep fighting to change the world even when it seems unchangeable.#god. ocarina of fucking time #zelda analysis #asks

162 notes · View notes

bytebun · 1 year

Text

I see a lot of characters older than a teen protag slotted into dad/uncle roles in found family tropes but frankly when I was 15-18 if anybody wanted to parent me I would politely remove myself from the situation. n if they insisted I would probably bite

#like no I totally get it and it can make for a good story and when you just want that found family comfort #but also like idk. I think teenagers esp those used to being on their own are gonna be a lot more bitey about it #the specific dynamic of uhhh yea no this isn’t my dad he’s my coworker friend guy. yea like 20 years older than me yea #is also under appreciated and rather funny I think.#I think a lot of late teens too basically think of themselves as fully grown adults more or less & responsible for themselves #and the dynamic of ppl around them going ‘this is a child’ is also very funny #I still remember the shocked look on my coworkers faces when I said I’d just turned 18 lol. Very funny #even if they end up as a dad/uncle figure I think the fraught process in between reaching that point is also very fun to explore…#bytebun rambles #tropes

470 notes · View notes

moonelnone · 1 year

Text

Don't I deserve to live too?

#one piece #portgas d ace #moonel.art #I think about Ace's character a lot #because like imagine being told the government hated your father and that he was a terrible criminal #and your child brain processed that as- because you're the son of the worst criminal you're equally just as bad #and the fact that people at the bar thing told Ace that the child of the pirate king shouldn't live made that issue tenfold #it's honestly sad to hear #soprry for rambling i just care for him a lot

254 notes · View notes

jawz · 1 year

Text

why do people who transitioned as full-on adults continue to speak on what they believe the laws should be regarding child/adolescent medical transition? like how fucking dense do you have to be to think it’s the same situation? if you didn’t MEDICALLY transition in that specific age range, when your mind is more amenable to any number of ideas about identity or personal philosophy (as you are still a child figuring yourself out) then you do not know what it’s like to have doctors more or less gaslighting you into pseudoscientific concepts that adults can understand more like metaphors…

this is the same way religion harms vulnerable young people when their brain’s capacity for weighing what is and is not realistic is just not developed and the real life experience has not yet been gained… you don’t understand metaphors and gender roles and playing pretend and facades yet… it’s all REAL to you at that age… i was told i had a MALE SOUL… trapped inside my inferior female body which needed to be FIXED in some way.

the older i get the more i realize that what a lot of adult transitioners are describing amounts more to deliberate aesthetic changes, which do create a higher level of comfort in the body and self-expression, this is why there seems to be a lower rate of regret for these types… versus gnc children who have not yet gotten past the age stage of cross-sex identification (which seems to be a common experience during the development of sexual identity for a pretty sizable cohort of the current generation of homosexuals who transition)… i think adult transitioners without childhood dysphoria have a better big-picture view of the changes they’re seeking, and it’s extremely unfair for them to pretend that youth who are attempting to convert themselves from gay boys to straight women or from butch lesbians to straight men are in the same mindset. i know i was not. it was religious for me. it was totally all-consuming.

#detrans #detransition #like. they got to develop fully during puberty and adolesence and THEN decide that it didnt feel right… my growth was messed with #why is everyone so terrified of feminine males being physically masculinized during puberty and vice versa?#do we not deserve it because we didnt fit the gender roles right?????#they dont want people looking out of place… normalization of puberty blockers is NOT pro-trans it is actually in existence #SOLELY to facilitate the process of making a gnc child look LESS trans.#it’s clear that MANY adult gay men and lesbians who are considered ‘cis’ did in fact go thru periods of intense wishing to be the opposi #opposite sex. this is the result of living in a violent and rigidly heteropatriarchal society.

167 notes · View notes

maegalkarven · 7 months

Text

I just thought of the most hilarious next protagonist of Baldur's Gate saga.

(Note what most of the outcomes used as background info here come from the characters' "good" endings. Proceed with caution.)

A child of Durge and Gortash, killed inside their parent's womb when Durge denied Bhaal, resurrected alongside them by Jergal.

A child any of The Dead Three can lay a claim on because they are:

A child of previous chosen of Bane

A child of Bhaalspawn, a bhaalspawn themselves, albeit striped of that when Bhaal took his essence from Durge, killing them instantly.

DIED before even being born, so clearly Myrkul's subject.

Resurrected by Jergal, so there's ties to that as well.

Can be compelled to follow any of The Dead Three paths, or try to play them and set them against each other, or follow Jergal, or forge their own path.

Essentially a child with no fate.

Can look either as Durge (and be any race Durge presented as) or as Gortash.

The last possibility bringing unique encounters and dialogues and character never knowing they can use being Lord Gortash's child to their advantage or ppl they meet were their father's enemies and they need to dash.

Having ties to different fractions depending on who Durge romanced or if Durge not romanced anyone.

Being raised in Underdark if their parent ended up with Minthara.

Same with unascended Astarion, + lots of acquainted spawns in the Underdark.

Being raised in Hell if their parent went to Avernus with Karlach.

Being raised either in Waterdeep if Gale is their stepfather or with Duke freaking Ravengard as a step- grandfather.

Having ties with Selunites if Shadowheart is a woman they call mother.

Being raised in the nature and having Druids call them their own if Durge and Halsin were involved.

Being raised amongst githianki revolution if Lae'zel was their parent's choice of heart. Having their mother leading a rebellion against a god.

Having lots of unique content regarding that.

Possible companions include:

Arabella

Mol

Yenna

That girl who was kidnapped and eaten by auntie Ethel.

Mayrina's child.

A child of lady Janneth and Oscar.

One or several of Jaheira's grandchildren.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #dark urge x gortash #baldurs gate 3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #idk i just think it would be funny #imagine being THAT child. Your parents both fucked up tremendously and when your parent and stepparent saved the day #probably killing your father in the process #the dead three either hate your guts or try to make you their new chosen one #jergal is just...there. occasionally giving you advice. you have questions. he never answers them directly #he also never admits he is in fact Jergal #but you just know #you are in the shadow of your heroic parent and their deeds #can be either a hero greater than them or a villain worse than gortash and pre-tadpole durge combined #everyone knows your parents one or another or even the one who was the chosen of bane and died #you can decide what you think about it #imagine dame aylin just appearing one day and you're just like 'oh yeah...she's kind of my aunt? not really but she is.'#also mayrina names her child after durge. imagine traveling with a person named after your parent. awkward #imagine mystra trying to approach gale's child #or shar - shadowheart's #mizora lingers too close to wyll's special lil one and wyll choses violence

146 notes · View notes

nowritingonthewall · 1 year

Photo

I’m just begging you: Don’t make us go there again.

#oscar isaac #moon knight #marc spector #moonknightedit #chrissie gifs #tw: trauma #tw: child abuse #It still blows my mind how the people involved in this show seemed to have a better understanding of trauma #than most professional therapists do #It's so heartbreaking to see how you can literally see Marc being stuck in his freeze reaction #While Steven moves around and explores #Marc's feet are rooted to the spot #He doesn't get a word out and he is clearly struggling to breathe #He can't even move his body towards the threat (i.e. his mother banging against the door) so he mostly just moves his eyes #Until the door bursts open and Marc's flight mode is activated #There is so much evidence that talking about your trauma again and again does nothing to integrate it and heal from it #And Harrow is such a text book example of so called health care professionals that force their patients to be re-traumatized again and again #Marc literally shows Steven how he suffered the most horrible and painful injuries to his soul #And it neither helps him to integrate his trauma nor to balance the scales #The healing process only starts when he allows himself to start learning to be accepted and taken care of by Steven #I am sorry I just love him so much 🥺

195 notes · View notes

hussyknee · 5 months

Text

"Not publicized to prevent copycats" is an absolute bullshit excuse in a nation of school shooters btw.

Please, please read this.

The Congolese genocide is one of the biggest mass murders in modern history, counting eight to ten million murder victims and millions of others severely injured.

As for Palestine, but the bombardment is somehow more intense than ever, they killed about 178 people including 52 babies the first day after the ceasefire. Zionists got hold of the photo of one of the babies cradled by his grandfather in his tiny shroud, his face waxy and eyes open and glassy in death, and has been passing it around, along with other similar pics of dead little children, claiming they're "obviously a doll". The open calls for genocide from the Israeli general public are more virulent than ever, and the IOF has arrested and imprisoned more Palestinians in West Bank than they released. The increase in intensity may be due to Blinken having told Netanyahu that "he had weeks, not months" to finish up whatever he wanted to do (genocide isn't good for the holiday spirit of the voting public methinks), and Netanyahu reportedly wants to "thin the population" as much as possible and herd the remaining survivors out through the Egyptian border.

Please take the time to scroll the tags at least every other day and reblog one or two posts. Keeping eyes on the unfolding situation helps keep the pressure on and politicians are clearly nervous now! YOU can't do anything, but you help create a vital domino effect for hundreds of thousands of people who CAN organize. Relevance is survival. Don't let these people have martyred themselves in vain!

#my TL is an absolute horror #i can't imagine what palestinians and the general arab diaspora are feeling #to be honest i was expecting this. self-immolation as protest i mean #i can't imagine how more people can witness this without being driven to desperate suicidality #before the truce everyone was kind of numb with the ceaseless trauma #but then the truce allowed them to process the enormity of their losses a little bit?#which was even more cruel imo because when they started up again it just broke the palestinians #this is what we meant when we said there's nothing humanitarian about pauses or truces or anything less than a permanent ceasefire #self-immolation #tw burning alive #tw burning #tw suicide #tw death #tw child death #gaza genocide #palestinian genocide #congolese genocide #pro palestinian protests #congolese protests #DRC #war crimes #fuck israel #fuck the USA #ceasefire now #free palestine #free congo #media suppression #knee of huss

48 notes · View notes