Albus: I'm bored, do you wanna see me start a fight between James and Lily?

Scorpius: Uh, what?

Albus: Hey, guys, is salsa a soup or a salad?

James: Soup.

Lily: Salad.

James and Lily: *look at each other*

Albus: And the fun begins.

Scorpius: What is wrong with you?

OH MY GOD. So if anyone remembers Left Behind (apocalyptic book series that was basically Harry Potter for evangelical Christians who take the Book of Revelation literally), IT HAS A WIKI. Which is full of shit like this:

Trivia

Throughout the story, Satan displays a thorough ignorance of military tactics and strategy beyond the Bronze Age, failing twice to use the capabilities of a modern army to his advantage.

“Satan displays a thorough ignorance of military tactics and strategy beyond the Bronze Age” is my absolute favourite sentence ever written

Satan claims to believe that he was the second being to evolve out of primordial life energy, right after God, and refuses God's claim to have created all other beings. It is possible that Satan convinced himself to genuinely believe this, since he makes the same claim in front of Jesus, who being a part of the triune God knows the ultimate truth.

Unity Army groups were used to mitigate the effects of the Bowl Judgments, using nuclear submarines to act as generators after earthquakes, delivering medicine after plagues, and employing area denial systems to keep the Locusts at bay whenever possible.

the Global Community is listed as an “autocratic totalitarian theocratic dictatorship one-world government”

So after Jesus comes back and murders everyone who opposes him and sets up his heavenly kingdom or whatever, the “bad guys” are a group fighting for freedom and free will who believes God is an unfair asshole for making all non-Christians die at the age of 100 when He could just let them live forever. Fuck, I think I’m rooting for them.

One member of The Other Light thought he could impregnate a woman with a glorified body so that a hybrid child that could live past 100 years old without needing to accept Christ as Lord and Savior might be born. In his attempt to do so by sexually assaulting such a woman, though, God stopped him by causing him to die in her arms, before He incinerated the body.

Fucking hell these books are insane.

Masked Futures

In June 2020, I hand-sewed a series of six facemasks as a textile art project concurrent with the Strange Horizons fund drive, themed around science fiction futures. My objective was to make functional garments: comfortable, breathable, protective to the extent two-layer cloth facemasks are protective, and sartorially appealing similar to the way an expensive suit, purse, shoe, or item of lingerie might give the wearer a sense of dignity without subsuming identity.

Part of my goal was to make masks seem decadent and sumptuous rather than imposed. Given that masks have historically been used to conceal or escape, it was necessary to invent a new visual language of masking, one which supports masks’ current role as a symbol of social cohesion and friendliness. I conceived all masks as unisex; the gender of the mask will be asserted (or not asserted) by the face underneath and above.

Mask 1: Dryad Pollinator Air Corps

Mask 1 echoes a 19th century waistcoat or dressing gown, including the suggestion of a military rank stripe and an illusory watch chain and fob. It alludes to H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine, and to the Neo-Victorians in Neal Stephenson’s The Diamond Age. Each of these works focuses partly on class disparities in access to social comfort and safety during a time of resource collapse.

The mask’s name offers a more fanciful interpretation, allowing the wearer to imagine life as a supernatural protector of nature—and as someone beset by not only viruses, but tree pollen and associated allergies, which might also be combatted with masks if in the near future, the pandemic has ended, but climate change continues.

Mask 2: Emergent Digital Cloud Behavior

Mask 2 fits in the category of “Blank Surface Futures”: the slick, ambiently-lit white and gray corridors of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Alien, Apple computer commercials, and countless video games. These curved, corner-less, ribbed corridors suggest a post-body future, one in which we do not need chairs or paper or windows, and our non-fingers don’t leave smudgy prints on the screens.

I had the notion that the emergence of an Artificial Intelligence, or a Singularity event, would be akin to a wedding, confirmation, or baptism—hence veil-like white translucent ribbons. I kept the mask lightweight as a play on the word “cloud,” and embellished it with a silver diagram which could represent a star map, connecting nodes, or the rotating arms on a mechanized assembly line.

Note the cheeky pop of the same purple color used in the Strange Horizons logo. The future of the Internet wants to be us.

Mask 3: Ambassador to Griffons

Mask 3 follows a Mad Max or Tank Girl aesthetic, the idea of a post-urban frontier in which scavenged high-tech elements are mixed with primitive or natural materials, and the repurposed signifiers of different eras are mixed together. There are feathers, but they’re metal. There is shaggy fur next to tapestry next to chintz. Garnets could be decorative or could mean the wearer draws blood.

Depending on whether the wearer is more fantasy or science fiction oriented, the griffons of the title might be literal mythical beasts in whose court a human needs to appear sufficiently respectful of griffon appearance cues, or the griffons might be a powerful post-apocalyptic gang.

This mask also reflects my futurist speculation that a masked society will incorporate some of the iconographic shortcuts of Internet culture (another face-hider) and foreground personality shorthands like astrological signs, Harry Potter houses, and fursonas.

Mask 4: The Sacred Heart of Solarpunk

Solarpunk is my favorite possible future to write about (and in many ways the most difficult, since it is solutions-oriented instead of escapist). When I read Rob Cameron’s New Modality essay “Promised Land: Religious Ideology and Solarpunk Science Fiction”, I decided to take up its challenge and envision a Solarpunk religious vestment, drawing on my childhood in ethnically blended, religious communities in Texas.

I imagined that the wearer of this mask had made multiple international migrations through the Global South as crops failed, aquifers dried up, and desertification occurred, but had found continuity through religious practice— faith had been a source of resilience, but also a method of community organization. I used bright-colored textiles of several national origins, including Chinese silk and a piece of an Indian sari, to reflect this figure’s overlapping identities, a source of defiant pride and the preservation of a nation’s memory through its disaspora’s rituals.

More directly, I used the blue fabric associated with the head covering of the Virgin Mary, who is said to supernaturally manifest as an intercessor and guide, and an image of the Sacred Heart, a symbol of the love of God through Jesus, a figure of miraculous suffering—existing Catholic symbols.

To these, I added two invented religious symbols: a Triune Heart (three hearts in one), imagining a faith doctrine which called for world unity as a revelation of the Holy Trinity, and a ghostly white sunflower, the Sunflower Soul. The sunflower is a recurring symbol of hardiness in science fiction, from Enter the Spiderverse to American Astronaut to, in a way, Day of the Triffids, and beyond, and it made sense to me that this would be folded into religion in the same way as the holly and the ivy, or the rose e’er blooming.

Mask 5: Covid Vampire

Mask 5 is a nod to our many revenant futures, whether the early sci-fi of Frankenstein and Dracula (a book greatly inspired by then-emerging technologies like telegrams and blood transfusions), midcentury works like I Am Legend and Godzilla, or the more recent glut of werewolf books and zombie television (not to mention the deadly and alluring humanoid robots of Blade Runner and Westworld).

Given our long history of coping with the arousal of fear by interpreting it as desire, I thought “sexy Covid-19″ was inevitable. If we can make tuberculosis, skeletons, and nuclear disaster sexy, there’s no question we will make coronavirus sexy. A bloody throat. A trembling crystal sneeze. Not the real coronavirus, but a fantasy by which we can be temporarily subsumed in cathartic release.

As a tribute, I made this mask in the style of costumer, artist, and filmmaker Eiko Ishioka (Dracula, The Cell, The Fall).

Mask 6: Tentacle Rave

Mask 6 combines the long tradition of undersea SF (mermaids, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, Startide Rising, SeaQuest DSV, The Abyss, Atlantis, parts of the Cthulu mythos) with the enthusiastically garish flamboyance of psychedelic New Age futurism (including the works of Aldous Huxley and Roger Zelazny). It’s the dawning of the age of Aquarius.

Flower children, disco fiends, ravers, the Esalen institute, and harajuku decora kids have sequentially suggested we could throw out “good taste” and have more fun being colorful, over-the-top, and sociable, and that this will be the basis for a new and more perfect social order. Perhaps we will decide life’s too short and we should enjoy what we can. Perhaps in our future we will ascend through our minds’ eyes into a higher level of consciousness and will have superpowers, and glowing sea creatures will live on our faces.

So, the plot of a Snape short I want to write is:

The Marauders, early on in school career, cast an unexpectedly strong hex on Snape that... delayed some parts of puberty years. Like, until he was 40 or so. Snape grew up thinking he was ace, not that he had that language. This was incorrect. The spell broke all at once at some point while he was hanging around with Harry Potter – war is over, they're doing some big writeup of some magic they invented with Dumbledore.

Extreme sex pollen times! Very dubcon but pleasant for both parties as such things go.

Afterwards, Snape is quite traumatized and tells himself the story that Harry used magic to alter his mindstate and molested him, maybe to get back at him for various childhood stuff. There's some element here of not wanting to acknowledge that they might both actually want to have sex with each other and have a good time if they communicated, because Snape is so sure they'd fail, that he'd fail, that he'd rather sabotage himself and create a world where it's clear it never could have happened, than to try.

Obviously, this is on track to Harry losing his job – I think he has some auxiliary teaching position at Hogwarts –

There's some stuff here about: Dumbledore is gone. He's dead. And, when he was alive, he was the person who would have been Snape's conscience, the person who said, you know you're doing something bad, stop that. And Snape knows he's kind of gone off the rails without this other person guiding him, and he knows... that it's his responsibility now, to guide himself, and not fuck up his life, and that's so scary and he doesn't want that, he wants his friend back. And of course he's working on formalizing the magic Dumbledore had a big hand in creating so he's constantly thinking about Dumbledore and skirting close to this very thought, that it's his own responsibility now to do good things for himself and others.

(Some aesthetic stuff about the magic they invented being a triune thing because it’s tickling to think of them as being the crone / the mother / the virgin)

Anyway, some combination of Harry trying to talk to Snape and Snape trying to make good choices for once get them in the same room having an honest conversation, and... I'd let things take their course from there, doesn't seem like this needs much plotting in advance, but they definitely are on track to bang again but in a healthier way.

I kind of want an interaction here where Harry says, if you want to be with me you better not fuck up like that again, and Snape says, oh no, I am going to fuck up, I don't know how or how badly but it's going to happen because I can't change that fast even though I'm trying – and if you can't accept that... we shouldn't do anything. And Harry's the one that gives.

Anyway, this super hits kink bingo for me!

- Person discovering sexuality late - Missing FRIEND who used to keep my life in order in a certain way but now I have to do it on my own, SCARY - Crazy person getting in a relationship and saying, this is the shape of my crazy, here are the very limited promises I can make about not being crazy, are you on board or nah - Sex pollen, obviously

[God] transcends everything we can imagine. The Triune God does not have wings [although many psalms and prayers use this phrasing.] Unfortunately for us mere humans, we must think through sensible things, and therefore metaphor is required for us to describe the Divine nature and God’s activity in governing His Creation. Artistry must employ things that are at one time accessible to us and point to the inaccessible… Scripture with the written word and Liturgy with its various symbols are veils trying to give a glimpse-- in a human way-- to a Divine Reality. [But] if one wanted to deny the use of physical images applied to God, why stop at wings? God does not have ears, nose, hands or even feet. And yet, the psalmist cries ‘incline thy ear unto me’ [Psalm 16:6.] Upon Noah offering a smoky sacrifice, ‘the Lord smelled a sweet savor’ [Genesis 8:21]. A reflecting Isaiah says ‘O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay and You are our potter, we are all the work of your hand’ [Isaiah 64:8]. And when the first parents sinned, they hid themselves from God because ‘they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in paradise’ [Genesis 3:8]. In truth, if one wanted to deny images applied to God (a truly gross iconoclasm) one would be left with very little… actually nothing. The Triune God transcends the physical world and our imagination remains grounded in it-- only metaphor can form a bridge between the two until the end of our earthly sojourn when we will see God ‘face to face’ [1 Corinthians 13:12]. [Many iconoclastic minds may protest,] “God has no wings, He is God.” Ironically, the actual question “What does it mean to be in the shadow of God’s wings?” isn’t a metaphor at all and refers to a very physical reality, not primarily to a Divine attribute. [This question,] or more precisely, “What are God’s wings?”… is not a metaphor. It’s an architectural feature. Solomon ‘set the cherubim in the midst of the inner temple and the cherubims stretched forth their wings’ [3 Kings 6:27] and ‘the priests brought in the ark of the covenant of the Lord into its place, into the oracle of the temple, into the holy of holies, under the wings of the cherubims’ [3 Kings 8:6]. To be under His wings is to reside inside the inner sanctum of the temple. It is the closest one could be to God on earth in the Old Testament, and a pretty good description of how close we all are at the Communion rail.

Father Dominic Savoie

Care to explain your views on the rapture? Most Christian denominations believe in it. But to be fair, plenty of denominations believe in stuff that's not in any version of the Bible (especially JW's).

Before I actually get into the theological arguments about the Rapture, I want to say that my biggest objection to the idea is societal.  Rapture theory is often used to tell people not to care about the environment or social justice or any of that garbage.  The worse the world gets, the sooner Jesus will come to save us!  Why should we care about climate change when God will swoop in and bring us to Heaven?

Ugh.  Because this planet is the creation of God and ought to be respected as such, maybe?

Anyway.  The Rapture and why it’s not Biblical.

In all fairness, I’m Catholic, and in Catholicism the Bible comes second to the traditions of the Church.  But also to be fair, that’s because for the first three hundred years or so of Catholicism, there was no Bible, only tradition, and the tradition was used to compile the Bible, so at least one could argue there’s historical precedence.

The Rapture, insofar as I can tell, has no historical precedence and began in the 19th century from a theologian named John Nelson Darby and was later popularized by Scofield, Hal Lindsey, and the crime against literature that is the Left Behind series (Really, the single redeeming factor of those books is that they taught us the Antichrist will look like young Robert Redford).

So with most things regarding the Bible that people argue about, the text is actually there.  Various denominations and individual people may argue about what Jesus meant when he made the analogy of the camel and the eye of the needle, but the analogy is there in the text.  You can look it up, and the whole encounter with the rich man is neatly laid out in the chapter.

Rapture theory, on the other hand, tends to take single verses or chapters from various books of the Bible and then put them together like they’re trying to track down Pepe Silvia.  It’s like if you took a paragraph from The Half-Blood Prince, followed it up with a sentence from The Chamber of Secrets, and then a chapter from The Prisoner of Azkaban, and then three paragraphs from The Deathly Hallows, and behold!  The true meaning of Harry Potter!

There isn’t a place in the Bible that outlines the Rapture.  In fact, the word “rapture” doesn’t appear anywhere in the Bible.  Granted, neither does the word “Trinity,” but the concept of the triune God is in the text (for example, Matthew 3:16-17 or Matthew 28:19).  The Rapture doesn’t really have any textual support.

The verse which is most commonly cited as referring to the Rapture is 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17:

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

Taken on its own, that sounds like it’s referring to people getting literally pulled up to Heaven, right?  Well.

Firstly, as far as I can tell from everything I’ve read about the Rapture, its believers think that it will happen instantaneously with no warning.  So why is God stomping down with Gabriel on the trumpet?  (Someone please film this and call it ‘When Jesus Isn’t Home.’)  Granted, the idea of a sudden, silent vanishing could be a later addition, like we now think of Christmas as happening on December 25.  So let’s look at the idea of being caught up together in the air instead.

The word in Greek that was used to refer to the air in this verse is ἀήρ.  This word appears in other Bible verses such as Acts 22:23 (Then, as they cried out and tore off their clothes and threw dust into the air) and 1 Corinthians 9:26 (Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air).

So ἀήρ refers to earthly air.

The other Greek word in the New Testament that translates to air is οὐρανός, and this is a word that is also translated to refer to Heaven or the universe or the stars.  This is seen in Luke 18:13: “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’”  It’s also seen in Acts 11:10: “Now this was done three times, and all were drawn up again into heaven.”

If St. Paul had been referring to all believers being brought to Heaven, he would have used this word instead of ἀήρ.  But instead, he’s referring to the dead and the living reunited in Christ to see and worship the King in an open-air procession.

Also keep in mind that this is a letter to the Thessalonians.  It’s written in response to their specific questions and situation.  They were asking about the dead, and if they should grieve for those they’ve lost, and if those who have died before the Second Coming have hope.  They weren’t asking about being assumed into Heaven before tribulations occur, because that’s never addressed in the response.

Speaking of Paul’s letters, here’s another quote that’s often described as referring to the Rapture: 1 Corinthians 15:51-55:

Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed— in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?”

The twinkling of an eye does seem to refer to an instantaneous event.  But that event can’t be the Rapture.

The idea of the Rapture is that it precedes Judgment Day and the Second Coming of Christ.  The dead and living elect are assumed into heaven, and the nonbelievers are left on Earth through a period called The Great Tribulation, when the Antichrist reigns and all must take the Mark of the Beast.  At the end of this period, Jesus appears.

But the verses from Corinthians above refer to an event that will render death meaningless: “Death is swallowed up in victory.”  “O Death, where is your sting?”  The Great Tribulation is meant to be full of death and suffering.  So this can’t be the Rapture.

How about Matthew 24:40-42?

Then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left. Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left. Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming.

That definitely sounds like the Rapture.  But what’s the context leading up to those verses?

Matthew 24:36-39:

“But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be. For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.

The flood killed people rather than taking them to Heaven, so it seems like an odd comparison if we’re talking about believers being swept up.  It sounds more like this is referring to judgment, as the only people who survived the flood were those God had judged worthy to carry on his people.

Also, let’s check out another depiction of Jesus making a parallel analogy, this time in Luke 17:34-37:

I tell you, in that night there will be two men in one bed: the one will be taken and the other will be left. Two women will be grinding together: the one will be taken and the other left. Two men will be in the field: the one will be taken and the other left.” And they answered and said to Him, “Where, Lord?”

So where are they being taken?  Heaven, right?  That’s where people go when they’re raptured away.  He’s talking about Heaven?

Luke 17:38:

So He said to them, “Wherever the body is, there the eagles will be gathered together.”

Eagles = ἀετοί = literally translating to birds that feed on carrion.  Other versions of the Bible translate this as “vultures.”

Well then.

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Karl Jenkins: I'm not gay, but if James Potter asked me to snog in the Astronomy Tower, I would 100% say yes.

*eager hums of agreement from the other students*

Albus: I fucking hate this class.

Harry: What's wrong with James?

Albus: Nearly everything.

Harry: I meant why is he crying but okay.

When Albus is four and Lily starts to walk, she starts to follow James around all the time, clinging to him and wanting to play. Albus cries in confused toddler frustration and jealousy, scared that Lily will steal his brother, and that James will be so distracted playing with their baby sister that he'll completely forget about Albus. Six year old James tells him there's no way that would ever happen and that Albus is his favorite baby brother ever and always will be.

When Albus is seven he gets his hands on a biography about what the wizarding community now regards as "The Tragedy of the Black Brothers" and ends up crying his little eyes out cuz James' middle name is Sirius and he's scared to death that his big brother will leave him behind after going to Hogwarts. Nine year old James promises that will never happen, and that they'll always be brothers no matter what houses they're placed in.

When eleven year old Albus is sorted into Slytherin he remembers The Tragedy of the Black Brothers and cries in the Slytherin house boys lavatory in the middle of the night for a week straight because he's convinced James is going to abandon him just like Sirius abandoned Regulus, because Sirius was a Gryffindor and Regulus was a Slytherin and getting sorted into seperate Hogwarts houses was the first chapter in their broken relationship. For the first time in his life James wasn't a room away to reassure him that they'd always be brothers.

When Albus is fourteen, James doesn't pass his mind, as he's too busy fighting for his life, and for the life of his best friend. There's only one time he thinks of James, lost in the past and clinging to the fear that if they failed, everything they knew would be lost, including James. Though they weren't close like they were when they were children, James was still his brother, and he was determined not to let their relationship end like another tragedy of the Black brothers. That summer, Albus hugs his sixteen year old brother for the first time since his sorting into Slytherin.

Albus: *dates someone his own age*

Lily: *dates someone her own age*

James: *looks at Teddy who's 6 years his senior* Nice.

Albus: Did you know you're a bitch?

James: Can I have a source?

Albus: The mirror.

James: Teddy Lupin is confirmed baby.

Albus: Teddy Lupin's not the one who cried while watching the finale episode of The Great Bristish Baking Show.

James: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Lily: I am the most responsible out of the three of us.

Albus: You just set the kitchen on fire.

Lily: Yes and I take full responsibility for that.