reginaldqueribundus
𝕥𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕪𝕗𝕦𝕔𝕜 𝕔𝕙𝕦𝕔𝕜
I'm boring all I do is shitpost about star trek all day I don't even show hole
13449 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
reyloparallels
Let’s Be Alone Together
soary
rawr
lionjek
Untitled
luvkillsurills
Thanks For Existing
Text
603 notes
·
View notes
Note
What exactly is going on with Taylor swift? Did she do something wacky or just release a shit album that's so bad it's funny?
okay i have done time as a swiftie and i now watch over those weirdos like im david attenborough so you’ve come to the right place.
ur correct about it being an album so bad its funny. but theres more. im very sorry but this will be long.
so basically since like 2016 she was in an apparently steady and normal long term relationship with a blond man called joe alwyn whose only character trait is knowing how to shut the fuck up (and i love him for that)
then in april 2023 it was announced that they broke up while she was on tour but bc the relationship had been uneventful and boring this whole time, the general vibe from everyone was “huh thats kinda sad, oh well”
i might be mixing up the timeline a little here but a couple weeks later there were some articles about how she’s now dating matty healy from the 1975. people were mostly just like “pfft its just tabloid shit it cant be true” and then at the next 1975 gig, marty pointed into the camera and said “this is for you, you know who you are, i love you” before playing a love song. THEN at the next taylor gig she did the exact same damn thing and the swifties hit the fan.
to make a very long fuckin story short, they dug up a bunch of dirt about how this dude is a nasty little racist misogynist rat and he needs to get away from their poor little innocent billionaire princess. some people get kinda heated about whether these accusations are true and tbh id rather eat glass than get into that shit myself
SO, swifties outnumber us all and raised absolute hell online while taylor brought this guy to all her concerts and let him perform with the opening acts. her publicist released some statements saying taylor knows what her fans are saying and she doesnt give a fuck. but also said they’re not super serious and are just having fun together.
during all this, theres a small group of swifties that have decided to break away and become very pro-marty and essentially pit him against aforementioned blond man joe alwyn. their general narrative is that because joe loves being quiet and doesnt really do Celebrity Things, that must mean he was ashamed of his relationship with taylor. this is where we get the beloved He Lets Her Bejeweled meme
this fannade narrative becomes more relevant in a bit
at some point during this relationship she releases the joe alwyn breakup song You’re Losing Me, which just describes some very standard long term relationship breakdown stuff. they have different life goals and they’re drifting apart and the communication is breaking down. she kinda wants him to do something to save it at the eleventh hour but that wouldnt be realistic. very sad oh well.
theres a small amount of kicking off from the fandom about he’s awful for this but only bc they’re addicted to the idea that their favourite billionaire is the worlds most tragic victim and honestly whats new
and here starts the very fucking weird trend of her publicist releasing statements that are very clearly deliberately backing up the weirdo fan theories. a lot of “taylor and matty are showing up for each other UNLIKE HER LAST RELATIONSHIP and he is proud of her UNLIKE JOE ALWYN” like..alright.
anyway ratty and taylor break up after about a month of publicly dating and she sings some sad songs and cries at her concerts but everyone mostly forgets about the whole thing.
about a month later travis kelce asks her out and they end up dating and the white women of america collectively cream. personally i dont get it because i dont know what sports are and the only travis im familiar with is the tractor from bob the builder but i digress. the 35 year old deadbedroom swifties are going CRAZY. they’re saying these two are gonna get married and have ten kids and global superstar taylor swift can finally achieve the only real success for a woman: marriage and motherhood. because football man is the only Real Man she has been with due to the fact that he is tall and wide and bearded.
its severely tragic and vicarious
once again the focus does not remain on the couple. they’re turning on poor puppydog joe alwyn again. this time he’s evil not only for being “ashamed” of her but also for wasting her time by not marrying and impregnating her, because as we have established, thats the only point to life as a woman. how dare he waste all that time locking her away in the six mansions that she owns.
and her publicist does the same shit as before with the “he supports her and shows up for her UNLIKE JOE” bullshit. all of these people are over 30 and have never experienced a real problem.
this creates a cycle that is honestly kind of concerning, where the fans invent a strange theory, the publicist backs it up, the swifties add to the theory, the publicist back up the new additions, and so on. taylor continues dating travis and they go to each others concerts/games and act like a relatively normal honeymoon phase couple. the narrative has massively broken away from the reality.
so this continues, people hyping up travis and hating joe. at this point i want to note that taylor and her team have spent a lot of years crying about how the nasty misogynistic media only ever cares about her relationship drama and ignores her art because they hate powerful women or something. the irony is that just about every bit of publicity she’s done over the last year+ has been directly linked to whatever breakup or boyfriend she’s going through currently. they’re definitely not hiding that this is the PR direction they’re going with.
so, with the weird fan rumours continuing to reinforce themselves, the swifties become very confident that their imaginations are telling the truth. they stalk joe alwyns social media presence, of which there is very little. but if you go out looking for mess you never come back empty handed. they find that he has been around women. because he is an actor. and some other actors are women. anyway they fully believe this is proof that he cheated, and they launch harassment campaigns against these relatively small actors, who end up having to private their accounts. then the swifties find another woman to harass for being “the other woman”. it goes on.
then the abuse and domestic violence accusations against joe alwyn are created. not from taylor or anyone close to the situation. only from the fans. her PR team have at least stopped reinforcing the fan theories at this point, but the ball is already rolling.
when she announces her new album, the swifties ERUPT with joy that finally she is going to end joe alwyn, the man who im pretty sure has just been chilling in his house this whole time. the harassment of anyone and everyone deemed in any way guilty continues tenfold. they are openly tweeting about finding him in london and physically attacking and/or killing him (he’s not a huge celebrity and is often just hanging around alone with no security team or anything. im sure these threats arent serious but they feel kinda more dangerous when the target essentially just hangs around as a private citizen)
the album promo is pretty much just.. “hey i dated this dude and he made me sooooo sad isnt that interesting, swifties?” over and over again. each new post brings a bigger wave of joe harassment. they’re champing at the bit for taylor to tell them all the many ways he hurt her so dreadfully.
then the album leaks and its all about matty healy, which is very funny on the dismayed swiftie-violence front but also just..terrible in that she used the harassment of joe as an album promo tactic when the album barely mentions him. the only thing she really says about him is that he suffers from depression and it made their relationship difficult.
..and yeah, the album is about how she’s been obsessed with marty for over ten years and she fantasised about him while in her long term relationship, and theres maybe some overlap of the two relationships. the irony. all the “this man hurt me so much!!!”-type lyrics that were released to promote the album were actually about matty, not joe. a lot of the swifties are continuing to double down on hating joe bc they cant accept that the matty relationship even happened. theres a song about how much she hates her fans for hating her relationship with rarty. its called but daddy i love him. its a whole embarrassing mess for everyone involved, including me for typing all this out.
and after all that most of the songs fuckin suck
15K notes
·
View notes
Text
#really want to go for the towel#solely to baffle the crowd when i remove my head towel to reveal i am bald#but i do be liking them fantasy elf outfits when though i very much do not resemble one#maybe more like dwayne the rock johnson if he swallowed a fantasy elf#(you're welcome fanfic writers that one's on the house)#anyway if you're still reading. murphy and butters shouldve swapped places for the last 3 dresden files books#tumblr polls
238 notes
·
View notes
Text
#in our house we have the dime rule#if the spider is smaller than a dime it gets to live no questions asked#not a hard and fast rule like sometimes if it's a lil too big or in a spot where it's def going to die i.e. bathtub i'll put it outside#if it's a bit on the bigger side but just minding its own business in a crack in the storage room wall ill live and let live#the orb weavers in the foyer get to stay cuz theyre harmless and help kill the mosquitos etc that wander in#unless they drop down onto my shoulder then i cannot guarantee their safety#all this is assuming the spider doesn't get eaten by one of our dogs first which is very likely#spiders
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
the best thing about the question
“why am I alive?”
is that the only one who can answer it
is you
1 note
·
View note
Text
eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.
297K notes
·
View notes
Text
a friend gave me a random copy of NINJA magazine from 1985 for my birthday and let me tell you it is hilarious
“ancient secrets of the ninja's special diet” and then it's just. vegetables.
#i guess they had to get these 80s weebs to eat a balanced diet somehow#ninja magazine#a post by me™
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u
#love when cashew does this#usually it's bcuz she's lost her spring under the china cabinet (again)#unfortunately she's gotten the idea that the cabinet contains a magical infinite supply of springs#so she goes there and meows regardless of where she lost it#if she would just play with them in the other room they wouldn't get lost but nooooooo she MUST carry them into the dining room#my pets
288K notes
·
View notes
Text
this is a political compass of sexuality to me.
33K notes
·
View notes
Text
Ezri is absolutely knackered from her busy day of shitting all over my floor
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
24K notes
·
View notes
Photo
dying
one of my favourite things is seeing posts like this that are clearly a reference to some fandom or piece of media, but having no idea what it’s referencing, so i’m just reading it like. yeah that would be weird huh
27K notes
·
View notes
Text
uhhhhhhhhh
First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die
How you dying đź‘€
216K notes
·
View notes
Text
Like it or not, we live in someone else's distant future. When our ancestors were stacking mud on top of mud, shitting in holes, and wondering why the sky was so scary all the time, they didn't expect that one day we'd be complaining about the poor quality of wi-fi reception. Lasers are right out, unless you're that one Aztec dude who got everything eerily correct before mysteriously disappearing.
You might think that this sort of thought is inspirational. We should simply be happy with what we have. I say no: we could have much cooler shit. Centuries from now is hoarding all the rad stuff. Imagine what incredible advance in technology the people of the future will be complaining about! We can't even fathom the kinds of annoying problems they'll have with holo-printers, much less the billions of new sorts of cables they need to purchase $10 adapters for because they brought the wrong kind to Mars and it's kind of a long trip to head back to your apartment to get the one you know you already have.
Someone with some better physics chops would be ginning up a time machine right around now. That way, anguished folks waiting in line at Geek Squad in the 2300s can angrily hurl their broken garbage back to our time. Then we can take it apart! Note that I didn't say "figure out how it works." Between you and me, I don't really care how it works. I just want to see what it looks like inside.
Wait, in the future they'll probably have new kinds of screwdrivers. I don't want any of that nonsense. If you are building a time machine at my say-so, fucking stop it. Unless it only goes in reverse, in which case I've got an old inkjet printer that I'm sure some dude in the 1530s would love to fix instead of me.
127 notes
·
View notes
Text
genuinely thought this was a shitpost at first. love this website
giant spider that lives in my bedroom ATE all my other bedroom spiders while i was on vacation... those were your fucking NEIGHBOURS you yandere piece of shit
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Star Trek makes me soooo crazy cuz you got Picard saying things like "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose."
And Data saying things like "I would gladly risk feeling bad at times, if it also meant that I could taste my dessert."
And Bashir saying things like “You can't go through life trying to avoid getting a broken heart. If you do, it'll break from loneliness anyway."
And Odo sayings things like "It has been my observation that one of the prices of giving people freedom of choice is that sometimes they make the wrong choice."
And I’m just supposed to be normal about it???
14K notes
·
View notes