#the only constant in my life
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I dont want david tennant to ever abandon his current fashion era. Fuzzy stripes and non-binary pin during the day, Crowley-coded genderless fuckery by night. Need to be able to count on this for years to come
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time for another martha jones brainrot bffs<3
#the only constant in my life#one thing about me is i will always come back to having a martha jones brainrot#doctor who#martha jones
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sylvia plath, todd anderson and virginia woolf (aka ACTUAL tortured poets) watching taylor “im breaking up with my boyfriend for his intense depression and blaming it on him, im dating a racist who enjoys watching woc being brutalized and harasses young woc artists, i sent my fans out on a hate train to attack a young woc actress for a line she had to say as part of her job to show how mentally ill her character was, im dating a maga supporter, i refuse to say anything about a current genocide despite being the most influential person in the world right now, i am a billionaire, i fly 13 minute flights and have the highest carbon emission of any celebrity, i am a known white feminist who only speaks about issues when it affects me and has constantly let my fans get away with extreme racism and even encouraged it by associating myself with known racists” swift call herself a tortured poet (her writing sounds like a bunch of thesaurus words slapped over gabba hanna and rupi kaur-esque poetry that was created purely as a trinket for an edgy pinterest board)
#anti taylor swift#like she can be problematic that’s okay#there are SO many problematic artists i like#but she’s not even that good#like read sylvia plath or virginia woolf or listen to LDR or fiona apple or mitski or lorde or boygenius or olivia rodrigo#aka her peers#and realise how much better they are#they truly write art because they have a compassion and rawness for it#whereas taytay only writes to get more money LOL#she’s so extremely privileged that her life is not at all relatable and now she tries to make it so#by romanticizing the most mundane#thats never been your brand babe now it’s going to sound like dogshit#GUTS by olivia rodrigo is better because it has such an intensity to it. liv means what she says and you can feel it!#fiona apple means what she says when she writes about begging her lover to love her back!#mitski means what she says when she writes that she is self destructive and puts herself in bad situations since that’s all she knows!#lana means what she says when she writes about her suicide attempt at 15 because of constant abuse from her mother and crippling depression#all of it such haunting and beautiful works because it truly comes from the soul and isn’t a cash grab#Anyway i’m so sorry virginia and sylvia and todd#todd anderson#AND JOE ALWYN#joe alwyn my favourite man ever#joe alwyn#dead poets society#anderperry#sylvia plath#virginia woolf#the bell jar#lana del rey#fiona apple#mitski
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Anatomy of Alastors demonic forms
#Alastor#hazbin hotel#we know he got shot in the head by a hunter and that’s how he died#and that that’s prob tied to why he’s a deer demon#and radio dial eyes is obv because of his ties to being a radio host in life and now in death#but do we know anything about the stitches and broken neck#in a lot of scenes we see him twist his neck violently#and in his demons forms it’s always crooked#did his neck get snapped during or after he was shot?#I guarantee you that if we ever get a scene where Alston’s neck is bare it will have a fucked up scar or something#I’ve heard theories that the stitches on his mouth could be tied to his constant smile#either that his smile is such an important feature that it became permanent in death#or that whoever he made a deal with made it so he’s not able to actually talk about it#could be both even because in some scenes there’s only stitches in the corner of his mouth and in the deal scene they’re all the way across#personally the stitches in combo with the deer form and the fact he was killed by a hunter makes my mind go to taxidermy#it kind of looks like he was stuffed and stitched up#I’ve also seen people compare his stiches to those voodoo dolls#but I dont know enough about them to make any kind of comparison
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god. god. the significance of the diary pages about claudia’s assault being torn out raggedly by Louis, clearly in a fit of guilt and anguish and trauma, vs the diary pages about louis mourning lestat and regretting killing him being removed with surgical control and precision. by armand. this wasn’t a heat of the moment action it was deliberate and calculated and I can’t stop thinking about it
#I’m SICK I tell you SICK over this#how much of Louis memory and life has he been controlling all these years??!!!!#louis already has repressed memories due to depression and trauma and now THIS??? Armand’s very very careful and constant control?#and manipulation of the truth? of not only Louis’ recollections but of Claudia’s??????? GOD#I can’t fucking wait for season 2 rashidmand judgement day WILL be upon you#and my god......the idea that louis asked for some aspect of this??? my heart is broken i'm crying tears of blood....#do I know if this is true? no. do I think armand is controlling everything? no…but I also think it’s part of it all#iwtv spoilers#iwtv#amc iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#the vampire armand#louis de pointe du lac#m watches iwtv#tw assault#tw assault mention
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i don’t even fucking care
#house md#house spoilers#hilson#the fact that house is consistently selfish. that he’s an addict. he’s always in pain#but he gave up his vicodin for wilson. mind you the pain in his thigh must have been excruciating#bc consistently whenever he’s extremely stressed or worried the pain gets worse#but wilson is still his priority. he put wilson above the burning pain god man😭#him giving up his freedom HIS LIFE for someone who has less than half a year to live like oh my god#the love house has for wilson actually makes me sick bc even outside of the cancer arc house has done things for wilsons sake#like almost killing himself just to help him and amber. drugging him at that one conference from s6#he’s an asshole often times but he truly is the only constant in his life. they both are for each other#i actually feel sick. im not on everybody dies yet (im on the c word rn) but god idk how im gonna get thru this😭#5x13 big baby#8x19 the c word#1x01 everybody lies#8x22 everybody dies#7x15 bombshells#8x21 holding on#where the quotes are from btw#sorry for the essay in tags
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im back and i brought girl densus
#hetalia#densu#hws sweden#hws denmark#my art#densu is the only constant in my life ill always come back to densu lol
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the thing about being a disabled grad student is that if you want even half a chance you constantly have to not only reveal but interrogate and explain your softest most vulnerable parts. while people around you act like this is just completely normal and actually that is not the softest most vulnerable part of you and actually you are exactly the same as all of them. so you feel like you are in disguise as exactlythesame while also completely exposed. and you just have to live like that. absolutely insane
#mod felix#general disclaimer that this is my experience and this is how i feel and not necessarily how everyone feels obviously#but . i feel this way . currently#well and i think part of it is that like... people act like the institution isn't actively hostile to like. any marginalized person really#i mean this post is about disability but i'm sure it applies to other people too#and if you read this and say 'this is also how it feels to be x' i see and support you#anyway. posting this here because like... i feel like as a blog with a relatively large (for tumblr) audience like.#i feel the need to be honest and transparent about my experiences in academia#because i know there are people following us who like. want to be in academia or who already are#and like . i really like the program i'm in and i'm learning a lot but it's also a very hard thing to do even if you're totally abled#which like. i'll be honest i think the sort of person who says 'i want to learn ancient greek for the rest of my life'#is unlikely to be totally abled#like i'm not the only disabled person in my program either. and most people i interact with like.#have a base level of understanding about disability#but it's still like... surreal to operate in like. an institution that puts pressure on everyone to act like disability doesn't exist#i feel like there's just like. constant dissonance
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would smash leshy
#spacie spoinks#was only a matter of time not sorry#i thought leshy was a girl at first and b/c of that was very attractive 2 me#i found out leshy was a boy and was like ''aww :('' and the emotions fizzled out but now they're back again#leshy.....hmmm#i want 2 have a one night stand w/him and have it be the best night of my life. never 2 be replicated again.#we go our separate ways and never talk again#where was that one anon that was like: oh so you're favorite characters are yellow or green or something#leshyyyyy#i wanna squish him#i would do crazy things 2 leshy dude#man. why would bamsara do this 2 me#constant intriguing ship posting and now i wanna bang a leaf monster . okay.#so stupid#my life is already ruined w/springtrap I DONT NEED ANOTEHR GREEN MAN IN MY SKULL!!!!!!!!!#houuugh springtrap.....man....im thinking about him again...........#euaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahghgggg#fuuuuck man#two of them. in the microwave that is my mind#going round and round#they're both awful#anf very. sexy.#UGH!! WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!
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#tumblrtop10#this year was rough#like there were some good things and some amazing womderful things#but my personal life??? i only had time to watch LOTR twice in 2023#personal life has been crazy tbh but at least i have constant thoughts of lotr and shit
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ghosts - batman: haunted knight
[ID: A multi panel sequence of Bruce Wayne as a child on Halloween. He's dressed up in a Mask of Zorro costume and is excitedly running down the stairs while holding two swords, calling out for his mother happily. He tells her that he's ready to go trick or treating. Martha Wayne has her hand on his shoulder and is smiling as she tells him, “your costume looks great!” Bruce replies, “Thanks, I made it myself. Alfred sorta helped. Is dad home yet?” Martha draws her hand back hesitantly and says his name. Bruce already knows that that means there's bad news. He tells her, “don't tell me,” before she continues and says his father called. Bruce has his head down, angrily finishing her sentence, “he's gotta work late!” He looks out the window as if his father will appear and says, “It's not fair! He promised he would take me trick or treating!” Martha soothes that she knows as Bruce repeats, “he promised,” to himself disappointedly. She tells him, “But there was an emergency,” which makes Bruce snap, “There's always some emergency!”
Bruce continues to stand in front of the window as Martha looks at him. Bruce announces, “I'm gonna wait for him. Even if it takes all night!” as he tensely clenches the handle of his sword. Martha reaches out for him sadly and suggests, “Bruce, I could take you out myself. Or, we can call some of the other children at school and go out with them.” Bruce, as an adult, somberly says off panel that, “she doesn't know...” as his kid self stares out the window still. His hat casting a small shadow on his face as he tells her, “There are no other kids to call. I have no friends at school.” Martha says his name again but doesn't know how to comfort him. Instead, she just silently places a hand on his shoulder. We see a silhouette from far away of her standing next to him as Bruce waits for his father to eventually come home. END ID]
#hey do you ever think about bruce's childhood and feel your chest hurt#like even before the murders. just how lonely he was a boy and how that loneliness only grew after watching his entire life and people he#had be ripped away from him. sure he had alfred but his entire life and world was contained to that big scary house that was suddenly so#much emptier. the constant reminders and seeing what was once there and triggering it again and again and again ontop of ptsd and ocd...#also martha?? love her. hes the biggest mama's boy you cant change my mind.#<- again using this tag because if thomas worked a lot and bruce obviously didn't have friends to go out with#then the only person he ever actually talked to and interacted with was his mother and alfred#the man hired to care about you and the woman who gave birth to you. thus that attachment being stronger#but also the 'people have to be trapped to want to be around me'... a man hired to be your friend and take care of you...#ur own parents not wanting to/avoiding that responsibility and involvement.... yeah.#anyways ! happy halloween !! heres a child being disappointed !#bruce wayne#baby brucie#crypt's panels#c: batman: haunted knight | ghosts#martha wayne#bruce & martha#bruce's childhood
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do you ever just sit there thinking about your favorite ocs while violently shaking. god. clenches fist. They're So.
#every time a song from their Joint Playlist comes on i go fucking feral#the betrayal the refusal to Let Go the haunting the persisting love the renunciation the resentment the abandonment the resignation#the overwhelming desire to do good vs the fear of admitting you were wrong vs the two people you love most tearing each other apart#AGHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SUDDENLY DEEP IN THE ORIGINAL SAUCE#five seconds i was Normal. scribbling welcome home#then One Of The Songs Came On and now im losing my fucking marbles#perceived betrayals leading to real betrayals....#going too far and now its too late you're Committed you cant go back#he came to you thinking he could make you understand and you could work together to make things Better#and instead you ripped his heart out and left it bleeding on the floor for everyone to see#THEY MAKE ME MORE INSANE THAN LITERALLY ANYTHING#absolutely unprompted#the oc Unwellness comes and goes in waves but its the only true constant obsession with my life#god those three... my dearest darling Trio.... how old are they turning this year?#is it year eight of having them? year nine?#one of the two is for sure how long ive had My Specialest Boy Light Of My Life The Reason I Am Still Alive#the other two came after... maybe only mere months after but he was the first and he is just. i love him so fucking much#he is so so personal to me. he has a permanent place carved out in my chest#he sleeps on my ribs <3#the other day i was reminiscing about his development over the years. his changes his different Versions#and fuck... he's really changed with me huh??#his past selves are echoes of my own self over the years#like he is Very different from me but at the same time. i created him with little pieces of myself sewn in#we hold the same views the same beliefs. im not him and hes not me but we're Kindred yk yk#i think i need to go listen to his playlist.... how long is it now... let me check... 15 hours 13 mins... 228 songs...#my gay 5'2 powerhouse of a guy. him <3#maybe 'them' too he's played fast and loose with gender over the years. holy shit wait#his development echoes mine... i characterized him as 'fucks with gender norms' long before i realized my own gender fuckery#god damn. i love him even more now. i didnt think that was possible. im going to cry. hes so important to me#he has been with me through my worst years... and will be with me through all the hard times to come <3
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furina and focalors are both so tragic, focalors for having power and furina for having none. focalors for wanting to be furina and furina for wanting to be focalors. focalors wanted to be human but was chosen to fill the role of a god, while furina was forced to live and suffer endlessly for 500 years with no power to stop it. i want to cup them gentlee in my hands
#4.2 spoilers#genshin impact#focalors#furina#crying#ifk if this is coherent i took 100mg of benadryl#thats not even a joke#i want to sleep#anyway#love em#dies#oh yrah i didnt even mention my thoughts on neuvi amd furina#they also make me insane#imagine the one constant for ur 500 year long life being just a complete lie#and on the other side also imagine ur 500 year long constant essentially betraying u in front of ur entire nation#although obviously i understand why he did it#they are just so tragic my gods#i like to think neuvi definitely visits furina like near daily LMAO#he's like “miss furina after being informed you have only been eating#macaroni for three weeks straight i have thoughtfully prepared you a three-course meal with ingrediants#selectfully chosen to deliver proper nutrition you have been missing since leaving.“#“monsiuer it is three am.”#“... apologies”#or somethin HELP
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doing figure drawing studies because i know thats what i should be doing right now but also ive been in a very insane deranged state for the past 2 months that leaves me like this whenever i look at a man for too long
#talkys#im gonna say some more stuff here which is i dont think its ever going to happen for me which is like#it should be fine right...i dont think im even meant to be in a relationship it sounds exhausting and like another#constant neverending performance...#but its like that one post...''im happy by myself but also where's the love of my life''#ykwim...i wish i could at least make an informed decision#but that would also be tragic as it'd require me to go thru more heartbreak so i could know for certain#is it better to do it or not do it at all...#anyway ive also been having a hard time putting this into words#but. i like my alone time! i can live with myself. + nothing will ever beat the peace and romance in my brain#but. it also feels so weird to think this way. in the sense of like. yeah. you're only thinking this way because you Have To.#because that's your reality. other ppl don't have to think this way because they are capable of finding love.#other people dont have to reaffirm themself of this in the wake of not ever being desired and valued....#does that make sense...? it feels really weird.#like of course u have to like being alone and spending time with yourself. you have no other choice lol. you lost.#and also... idk. idealized romances in my brain better than anything maybe i would like to be held just once by another living human being.#🌺
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"beef" on netflix is so fucking good. i love a show about a small event that turns into something insane that nobody involved could have possibly predicted. also i like steven yeun. spoilers in tags
#amy and danny constantly trying to ruin each other's lives only to constantly get into deeper and deeper shit themselves is. peak.#spoilers follow:#literally like half the main cast dying in a gunfight with cops is Also something i could not have predicted.#rip jordan my favorite toxic lesbian queen. she was only there to start shit. stealing her brothers gf. her constant gay tension w amy#and then she GOT BISECTED???? girls it turned into a horror movie straight up so fast... poor naomi she was just there to fuck bitches.....#liza post#beef netflix#live liza reaction. if they reconcile over paul dying horribly i will have . feelings#anyways RIP paul he was like my favorite character. i love a stupid ass himbo#everyone in this show is a terrible person and it's extremely entertaining#'I AM NOT HELPING YOU UNLESS YOU USE NICE WORDS' you both just crashed your cars off a cliff after chasing each other down. ok#'i see your life' 'you poor thing'#it's such a good show at being funny and dark and poetic and Good. also crow motif xoxo#update PAUL ALIVE SWAG
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watching the qsmp as a spanish speaker is just watching one of our streamers build a house then never logging back in and then they add a new streamer who builds their house and never logs back in and then another streamer gets added and then
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