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richiehugs · 2 months

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Fallen angel - part 1

Angel was a chubby child. As teenagehood hit him, however, he got into wrestling and weight-lifting. He grew up to be a tall, handsome, and - more importantly - shredded young adult. As he grew taller and stronger, he thought he should move up a weight class or two - and so the bulk began.

In just a couple of months, he started losing his rock hard abs, which he achieved by countless hours at the gym and a strict diet. But he knew he was ought to be more. It was a just a bulk. How hard could it be to lose the fat again?

As the weight piled on, he got suggested to use his new power at another kind of wrestling - sumo. Why not? He was already at the end of his bulk, it was only logical to end the story with a gold medal. So he participated at the next championship.

He was just heavy enough for heavyweight class. Although he won his first two matches against opponents 30-40 kilos heavier than him, he didn't make it to the finals. At least he tried this sumo sport out.

He would never compete again in sumo, but he kept his gym addiction and wrestling hobby the next years on. The bulk, however, never seemed to go away.

He got fat. He was tall, over 190 cm, so the 120 kg weight he was carrying was barely visible. He was incredibly muscular, too, so a little fat couldn't hurt.

He went from one relationship to another, until he finally met Ana. It was love at first sight. Ana, though a short woman, she never cared much about a couple extra pounds on a man, she even found it attractive. Angel was big, strong, the perfect father figure.

Angel was happy he had a supportive girlfriend, who was also a great chef. He noticed soon that his XL shirts started to get snug, but he was still wrestling, so the weight was under control. The weight was also great for cuddles in bed, so it was rather a win-win.

But then the pandemic happened.

During the Summer of 2020, Angel has gained a significant amount of weight. It wasn't a small bulk anymore. He couldn't find excuses, such as "going to the gym", "working hard", "it will go away" - he got obese. As gyms closed and he was stuck at home, his appetite didn't go away, only grew. With every takeaway his figure rounded out more and more.

At the end of the year, he looked like he ate his teenage self. A thick sphere of soft, jiggly lard has covered his abs and pecs. His moobs and belly were fighting hard against the fabric of every single shirt of his. He even moved up two sizes - just to almost grow out his 3XLs, too. He was close to 150 kilos - a big milestone in the life of a man.

There was no hiding it anymore. And he was yet to attend a wedding...

This is part one of the story of Angel.

I won't share his real name or any personal information about him. Please, don't reuse the content anywhere.

#weight gain #fat bhm #bhm weight gain #weight gain story #obese #exjock #wrestler weight gain #sumo #balkan fatty

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juicedcatboy · 6 months

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If you don’t mind sharing a bit, why did you decide to use hormones, how has it been, have you experienced side effects and have concerns about it, and do you have any regrets?

I've been dreaming of becoming a juiced up freak ever since I was a young teenager. All the cartoons and stories in which a character gets corrupted by dark powers or some substance and it makes him more muscular and powerful made me fantasize about changing like that myself. And later the more I learned about steroids, the more fascinated I became. I exercised at home on and off and I did sports back during school so I was skinny and fit but mostly just skinny.

During the pandemic friends of mine persuaded me to install the same workout app as them so we could push each other. They stopped after a few months, I kept going. Purchased more weights and a rickety bench and worked out 5 or 6 days a week and began to eat more. Eventually I decided to take the plunge and started juicing.

It was one of the best decisions of my life. The sense of control I get from working on my body is invaluable. My only regret is that I didn't manage do my training in a gym sooner (new places and people are hard for me. way harder than working out until I am a sweaty mess and nearly puking from exhaustion.)

As for side effects, a lot of them actually turn me on (on myself and others). I tagged some posts going over specific stuff with "#side effects". But yeah, the damage to organs and vascular system is a concern, it's an unhealthy hobby. I try to be nice to my body otherwise, so no alcohol or other avoidable things that would put it under further stress.

Sorry that was a lot of words, here's some pecs:

#ask

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shoku-and-awe · 3 months

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I just got a new shiitake log kit! It was one of my early pandemic hobbies. I'm looking forward to when this starts happening again:

For a while, I was getting about a tupperware of mushrooms a day! So it’s really great for the dead of winter, both because the cooler ambient temperatures mean it can go pretty much anywhere (in summer, you lose closet or fridge space) and also because it helps me not have to go to the store so often!

In my experience, it produces for about 6 weeks, and can be used maybe 3 times, with a 2-week break between each cycle. I've never kept a tally, but I feel like I got 100+ mushrooms at the very least. Maybe I'll keep track this time!

Also, once I kinda neglected to check it for a few days, aaaaaand......

Look at these BIG BOYS. I'm excited for something to be growing in my house again. I'm excited to put mushrooms in everything until I'm sick of them again! If this goes well, maybe I'll look into a real grown-up mushroom log...

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highgroundanimations · 9 months

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How old are you?? What made you decide to dip your toe into animation?

As of now (2023) I'm 26 years old, next birthday is on January 24. 😁

Also great question! I'll go a little more in-depth below if anyone's interested. 😊

I've been interested in animation, art & story-telling in general ever since I could think! Starting with drawing & crafting a LOT in kindergarten & making flipbook & stopmotion/brickfilm animations in elementary school. Eventually got into shooting fun little shortfilms with friends & adding visual effects to them (those films were WEIRD, but soo fun to make! 😄).

That got me more & more into 3d animation as a hobby which turned into a career once I finished school & started a 3 year apprenticeship as audio-visual media designer at an advertising agency (I was 16 back then). After that I worked there part-time as 3d generalist for 3 more years while starting to freelance on the side. Eventually made the jump to full-time freelancing & that's what I've been doing the past 4 years.

Love the creative freedom of often times being booked as "one man studio" by my clients & the variety of projects is fun! Advertising has to move fast & you're never stuck with one project for too long.

Being a freelancer also makes it possible for projects like Tukk Tales: The Rescue to happen, because I get to chose what I want to work on & when I want to work on passion projects (as long as I'm not broke lol).

And of course one of the biggest sources of inspiration & motivation throughout this journey was our beloved Wars in the Stars! ⭐⭐ I've been a Star Wars fan ever since elementary school & been drawing characters from it constantly, especially droids & clones. And then came THE CLONE WARS! I don't think I would've followed through actually teaching myself how to use 3d software back in 2008 if I hadn't seen the Clone Wars movie around that time. A full-CG, stylized show with my favorite characters in my favorite era? Sign me up! I was so intrigued by how a show like that was made, I HAD to find out!

If you have seen my Youtube channel, there are still some The Clone Wars animation videos on there, from back when I just started learning how to use the 3d software Blender: https://www.youtube.com/@HighGroundAnimations/videos

So The Clone Wars kept me going, inspired me to learn this, to be able to create my own scenes from that universe. But then, eventually you want to grow beyond that, so I wanted to try other styles, other ideas & especially once I started working, I just didn't have as much time for personal "fun" projects anymore. So very little Clone Wars from now on. Fast forward a couple of years, it's the pandemic & the perfect time to go back into hobbies! The animated Star Wars shows have progressed & met a new bar of quality with Clone Wars season 7. What an inspiration! I really wanted to try & see what I could do with all the skills & knowledge I had accumulated since last time & a project like that seemed like a great chance to further strengthen my skills as generalist. So that's when I started again, December 2020 & the name High Ground Animations was born, along with a dedicated Instagram, a renamed Youtube channel & more. No Captain Tukk yet, or any plans for a shortfilm, all that developed during the many months after that. But I've been at it again ever since & there are no plans for stopping anytime soon! 🤘

#captain tukk #tukk tales #high ground animations #star wars #the clone wars #tukk #the bad batch #241st #fan film #hill company #backstory #if you read all this thank you <3

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sleepykittypaws · 11 months

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So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

Well, folks, the time has come for me to bid holiday movie tracking adieu.

This was never anything but a (more-than-slightly-weird) hobby which, quite honestly, became overwhelming several years ago, when the TV Christmas movie explosion made keeping track of the annual influx of holiday content way more time consuming than I ever bargained for. But, something—for instance, needing a distraction from a global pandemic, combined with a Type-A personality that loathes leaving a job left undone, plus a few fellow Christmas movie-loving online pals I'd made along the way—always kept me going…Until now.

As someone congenitally unable to do anything halfway, I've felt increasingly uninterested in keeping up with all the ins-and-outs of holiday movie production for a while now. That, combined with Twitter's increasing lack of usability, has led me to the decision it's time to rest my paws, and hang up ye olde Santa hat.

In real life, I'm just a boring, stay-at-home mom who used to work in (non-Christmas movie) TV production. I started keeping a holiday movie list for a few like-minded pals, and when they wanted to share it with a few others, posted it online for easy access. What started as a couple updates annually (a did-you-see-this-article? sort of thing), morphed into a year-round hobby, and then something more akin to unpaid, part-time employment—not that making this a job was ever a goal. (In fact, I’ve studiously avoided being public and declined the very small amount of opportunities people have offered.)

While I did (very) occasionally hear a few things from folks I'd become friendly online with, none of that is what I shared publicly. Everything I posted was gleaned from publicly available news stories, press releases, IMDb listings, production info, casting notices, and social media posts. Though there was some dot connecting on my part, it's all stuff absolutely anyone half-decent at research and logic could easily find and readily duplicate. (TL;DR I’m not special, and never thought I was.)

Thanks to those who were so kind to me over the years, and all who share my fascination with cheesy holiday fare. I will most definitely still be watching, and if Twitter still exists this holiday season, quite possibly will return there to share what I loved, and what I didn't, but I'll no longer be keeping a holiday movie list, with my apologies to the twos of folks this likely disappoints.

For what it's worth (likely, not that much) I've updated all the upcoming lists—theatrical and TV, for 2023 and 2024—one last time (UPDATE: Well, now that the season is upon us did my best to keep the 2023 schedule up-to-date, least as of November 15, as a final hurrah), with what I know, as of today. There are, I’m positive, typos and errors and things that will be out of date as soon as tomorrow. But there it is, the end.

Cheers, and a very merry everything to all!

💛 Sleepy Kitty Paws

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justanotherblonde · 2 months

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it's sasodei week 2024!

i have precisely one thing to contribute, but ffs it's not done yet grr!! maybe we can blame my dog... she demanded i come play with her no less than nine times (i kept track) as i wrote this post (she does this by shouting at me then humping my leg to show me who's boss, sometimes pulling on my sweater sleeve with her sharp li'l teefs, beagles, man, i tell ya...) 🐶

anyway!! here's a TEASER of my Day 3 Band/Rockstar/Idol AU story ahhhhh!!! it's not even titled yet!!!!! i don't even really know what the tags will be! and i haven't had time to make a header image!! 😫

but this i know, oh this i know:

Sasori is first chair cello of the Sunagakure Philharmonic

He has a dirty little secret hobby: listening to metal (among other genres that are definitely not classical)

One of the bands he listens to is called C4

Guess who's the lead singer???

Yes, you guessed it, it's Deidara, singer/song-writer, perhaps much more...

In this AU, everybody lives!! Well... okay fine, Sasori's parents still didn't make it, i'm sorry

But that means two important things: Third Kazekage is alive! And there are a LOT of Uchiha running around.

There's more, a lot more, but you'll have to wait until i steal more minutes and hours from my dog and my work! but i'll give it to ya, come hell or high water! or wildfires, earthquakes, debilitating PM 2.5 ratings, or uh... dare i say... another pandemic??? FEAR NOT!

if you want to wait for the full thing to drop to read, i've left the teaser excerpt below the cut.

a million thanks to @sasodeiweek for hosting this event and encouraging us SasoDei creators to flex our creative muscles! loving all the contributions so far!

and without further ado...

Rehearsal ran circles round Sasori’s ears. The music followed him always, all hours.

Chapter 1

Rehearsal ran circles round Sasori’s ears. The music followed him always, all hours.

The fine, agile fingers of his left hand twitched; his right hand swayed side to side, marking the strokes of his bow. Eyes half-closed, his feet kept time on the pavement as he walked. It was Haydn this week, Cello Concerto No. 1 in C major. A weighty yet familiar responsibility for Sasori, first chair cello of the Sunagakure Philharmonic.

He sighed. Rehearsal had wrapped half an hour ago. He was on his way home, and tomorrow was a rest day. He didn’t need to torture himself like this.

The headphones around his neck were a comforting weight, as friendly and intimate as the straps of his cello case on his shoulders. He flipped them over his ears and dug in his coat pocket for his phone. Scrolling through the saved playlists on his music app, he skipped all of the classical “homework” and went straight for his guilty pleasures: dance-pop, glam-rock, musicals… and heavy metal.

No one at work knew about his low, low tastes.

Well, the Third had known.

Sasori gritted his teeth, biting back unbidden memories. Now he definitely needed to blast his brain clean with some noise.

Something heavy.

Something loud.

Something to transport him far away from the sand-scraped streets of Sunagakure.

His thumb landed on the album he was looking for.

Art is an EXPLOSION by C4. Track 1: “Light It Up.”

From that first haunting guitar chord, the tension Sasori held in his chest and face dispersed. He rode that twisting whine down, down… someplace dark and cool, far beneath the earth. As the barreling drums built to a crescendo, he held his breath—wait for it!—

A million years, through timeless stone I’m damned to walk this path alone This darkness, all I’ve ever known…

The lead singer had a deep, melodic voice. He molded each word of the verse carefully, tenderly, as if he were embarking on a ballad… then WHAM!

Cymbals crashed; the roaring chorus caught the last two notes of an electrifying riff like a surfer hopping a wave:

Light it up! Hey, light it up! Strike a match and light it up! My fuse is short, ’m ready to blow, Crush the ceiling down to the floor!

Not in a million years would Sasori admit out loud to anyone that he listened to C4, especially not now that the public were actually aware of their existence. The metal band had catapulted to fame last year with their single “Burn Down All the Discos,” but Sasori had been listening to them well before that. Three years ago, his music app had recommended him a track from Art is an EXPLOSION—C4’s debut album—based on his eclectic streaming history.

If the first song Sasori had heard by C4 had been anything but “Artist,” he’d probably never have given them a chance: their usual sound was, on the surface, sloppy, and most of the lyrics were childish boasts. “Look at me!” their vocalist seemed to say in every song.

But “Artist” was different. It was, inexplicably, an up-tempo perversion of Vivaldi’s Winter Largo in F Minor, lamenting how hard it was to live for art’s sake when the world ran on money and heroic virtue. Listeners without classical training would be unable to appreciate or likely even identify the subtleties of what had been done with the classical score, but the first time he heard it, Sasori had been riveted. Vivaldi’s rhythmic harpsichord had been replaced with a softly tapped snare drum; a mournful electric guitar carried the melody when it wasn’t sung.

Curiosity piqued, Sasori had investigated the rest of the album, and found similar nods to classical music throughout the tracks, much harder to notice than the adapted Vivaldi, drowned as they were in a thunderstorm of electric guitar and percussion. C4 were more than just a metal band: they experimented with typical traits of the genre and also drew from pop rock, classical music, even musical theatre to create a sound unlike anything Sasori had ever heard. They broke all the rules and they did it with glee.

One day—a rest day—home alone and bored, Sasori had looked up the band online. It surprised him to learn that the lead singer had been only sixteen when the band was formed. That powerful voice certainly didn’t sound like it belonged to a teenager. But the band’s website was light on biographical information, and Sasori hadn’t felt like digging deeper. An overwhelming amount of fan sites and social media accounts had sprung up since “Burn Down All the Discos” and C4’s world tour. Bored as he was that day, Sasori wasn’t about to use his precious free time to obsess over some flash-in-the-pan rock band, especially one fronted by a kid.

And yet, he still listened to them.

“Artist” often competed for the position of most frequently-played song on his app, but only when he was feeling particularly moody.

It crossed his mind that he ought to check if C4 had come out with anything new lately—the app usually sent a message when artists he’d followed released new music. Pausing to wait for a traffic light, he dug for his phone again.

Lo and behold, a new album had dropped not three days ago.

Beauty of a Moment, it was called. The cover art featured the Venus de Milo... mid-explosion.

Sasori chuckled under his breath. “He really does fancy himself an artist, doesn’t he…”

What a fool. Popular music was not art. Rock music was not art. It came and went, but the classics stayed. For centuries. Forever.

It was the one thing Sasori and the Third had always agreed on, despite all of their differences.

Speaking of which…

...

#sasodeiweek2024 #justanotherblonde #sasori #deidara #sasodei #deisaso #sasodeiweek #music AU #band AU #idol AU #rockstar AU

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pebblysand · 9 months

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Heyyyy im dying for an update on castles!! Any hope of getting one soon?😭💗

hi anon! thanks for your message! the tl;dr answer to this is: no.

or, i don't know. maybe? sigh. it's just been a lot lately.

it's a funny one, you know? most of you will not remember this, but there used to be a time when i would share (maybe overshare - is that a word? i've always wondered why that is a word when it's your platform and your rules and people can just choose to ignore you) on tumblr. not just about fics and writing and peaky blinders, but also about me. the stuff i felt. the stuff that was going on in my life. lots of things.

i grew up in an era of blogging and livejournal (seeing dreamwidth make a comeback lately is oh-so-bizarre, btw) where people opened up online - sometimes too much. this was before doxxing, before cancel culture, before it became dangerous to do so. people would complain about their jobs, their mates - the internet was an outlet. and, i don't know if it was better or worse, i'm not here to make value judgements and i've always thought people who say "things were better in my day" sound like absolute twats, but it was undoubtedly different. i've had this conversation with someone on discord lately, about the dreamwidth comeback actually, when this person said: 'people get real personal on there, though' and i was like: 'yeah, i suppose it's just the culture of the place.' a place where, unlike tumblr and everything that came after it, most of the content produced was through words, rather than images. when the internet was still made for writers and you weren't afraid of "clogging" someone's dash with posts that were too long to be digested in less than ten seconds.

the thing is: i like writing. it makes it easier to organise thoughts. and, up to 2020 (2021, even) i used to post monthly updates on my writing, but also about my life, for you. remember how i told you when i passed my bar exam? how i quit my job, found another job, and then another one. i told you about the boy and hinted at my break-up. i told you about how one of my best friends sank into a very toxic relationship, from which i couldn't save her. i told you when my dad died. it wasn't even that long ago. and, i explained to you that for these reasons, and maybe others, i didn't have a chapter out as early as i would have liked. and, you understood. you were kept up with what was going on. it was the pandemic and a different time.

but then, gradually (oh-so-quickly and oh-so-slowly), "you" became "many." i like that word - "many" - it's what my hairdresser said the first time she cut my hair: "they are very fine, but there are very, very, many of them." i suppose that between the first chapter of castles and the latest, my follower count grew into the hundreds and i got - well, scared. scared to share: what i thought, why i wasn't posting, how much or how little i was writing, how i was feeling. because there were too many of you. because i started to hold myself up to higher standards, too.

the truth is that no one wants to listen to anyone on the internet complain. it's not fun. and, specifically, no one wants to listen to fanfiction writers complain. why would they? why would they moan about how busy they are? about how creatively drained they might be? about how maintaining a healthy balance between real life, a job, and writing, is hard, if you do it seriously. because it's a hobby. because it's not "real" writing. because it doesn't matter.

well, anon, i'll tell you something. the voice in my head, it goes like this: why are you tired? it's just fanfiction. stop taking yourself and your little stupid story so seriously. stop thinking this is Important because you're writing about something you feel is important. no one cares. and: you only wrote 80,000 words last year, people write full-blown nanos in a month, calm down. it's not that bad, you don't have children. it's not that bad, you don't have dying parents. it's not that bad, you have money. you're a white cis privileged girl who can afford to spend her free time on writing because you don't have to work multiple paying jobs to foot the bills. so many people do. people who are much busier than you write a lot more than you do. shut up, what are you crying about? why are you responding to this poor anon with anything other than "soon, i hope." they weren't even mean about it.

and, i like the word "many" because it encompasses the realness of it, the repetition of it. many, many, many. it's less theoretical than "a lot". you can't say: a lot, a lot, a lot. it's morning as i write this, irish drizzle blown in by the wind against my window, thin droplets like static and i wonder: could i isolate thirty thousand? count up to thirty thousand little drops of rain against glass and imagine what that would look like as people. that's a small stadium, isn't it? and, it's also almost how many people have clicked on castles, in the past three years. it's also how many people, in my head, are telling me to just suck it up and write the next chapter. it's been a month already, hasn't it?

to tell you the truth, i still overshare with some people. there's a very small discord i'm on which is more like a group chat with my best internet friends. it's a lot of fun. and, i'm not going to tag them here for fear that you might come at them with pitchforks, but after i was explaining this to them, how exhausted and drained and lost i've been feeling lately, i had some, last week, tell me i should just give up castles. just stop, recharge, take care of myself. it's just a fic, it doesn't matter. let it go, you know?

so, yeah. you read that right, anon dearest. people who i really love, and trust, told me i should put your beloved on an indefinite hiatus and move on with my life. how's that for an update? and, they didn't say it in a "this is a bad fic and it's not worth continuing" kind of way, but in a "it's not worth working yourself into the ground" kind of way. in a "fanfiction is a hobby" kind of way.

i typically count years from september to august (i'm still in school, in my head, sue me) and this past one has been long and hard. for reasons that i won't explain because of the "very many" issue i mentioned above. for reasons that i also won't explain because as i also mentioned above, i can't help but always compare myself to people who have it worse. but, the fact of the matter is that whilst i'm not really asking for sympathy, i do want to say this, as i hope it will help provide a bit of context to how i'm feeling right now, in terms of writing.

anon dearest, i'm exhausted. i'm bored. i'm turning thirty in 24 days. i'm sick and tired of putting everything in my life on hold "until i finish castles". i would estimate that right now (and for the past three years) castles has eaten up about 75% of my free time. i think the first couple years, i didn't really mind. because it was the pandemic. because there wasn't much else i wanted to do. but now, when i see my friends, i try to schedule it on weekday evenings because i want to keep my weekends for writing. when i travel at the weekends, take holidays, do anything that will take me more than a couple hours, it's a compromise made against writing time. a compromise i often feel guilty about because it delays the next update and because ultimately, it delays the moment when i do finish castles. when i am able to move on to something else. move on with my life and also maybe another story of my own.

these past few months, i wrote almost every day from late march until last week because i knew i'd be going home to france in august and wouldn't be able to write there, so i needed to get ahead. everything in my life is planned around writing and updating and i'm a little bit burnt out, anon. it's typical summer me, nothing to really worry about, i felt the same last year (those who were already here will remember) but it doesn't make it suck less. and, that's why people are telling me to give up. because i keep getting stuck in this cycle of overworking myself, getting burnt out, taking a month off and diving back in again. it's fanfiction and it's a hobby and it's meant to be fun and it's just not fun anymore. it feels endless and draining and like a vampire eating my "good" years. time my mates are spending getting married and having children. and, even if i don't think that's what i want for myself, precisely, i still don't feel like the life i'm currently living is one i want to be living in five years' time.

i don't want to be exhausted. i don't want to be working all the time. this groundhog day of getting up, opening up my (work, or personal) laptop, deliveroo-ing my meals, working until 9:30 pm, and repeat. i have seven chapters left to go to the end, which will take 12 to 18 months, and i don't think i can go on like this for another year. i don't want to. something's gotta give: my IRL life, my job, or this "hobby", and it is logical (oh-so-logical) that it should be the latter.

and, yet. when my pocket friends suggested this, i came at them with pitchforks. i said: no. no, no, no, no. i can't give up. i don't want to give up. i love this story. it's unnerving and draining and exhausting, but haven't touched it for a week and i already miss it - it's crazy. and, it's true: it's not fun, but writing, to me, has never been "fun". it's: fulfilling, exhilarating, meaningful, it gives me the chills and a sense of peace but it's not "fun". i don't know who the fuck writes for "fun". you can enjoy things that aren't "fun", you know? i definitely do.

and, if i had to pick one thing to give up on that list, honestly, it would be my job - 100%. i'd finish castles in six months, if i could give that up. but, i can't, lovely anon. because fanfic doesn't pay. because writing doesn't pay. and whilst i do have a savings account that i intend to use someday to take time off to write, i don't think i could justify using it for anything other than original fiction. because at least, there would be a tiny bit of hope that the book might get picked up and i could make my money back. i can't, like, quit my job to write fanfiction, can i? even if i did set up a patreon, i doubt you all would want to fund me, lol.

so, i don't know. i don't know what to do, anon. i don't want to give up castles. realistically, i probably won't. realistically, i'm probably going to keep ploughing through and overworking myself and feeling like i'm throwing my youth and my free time away into this project that everyone will most likely forget the moment it is finished. right now, to answer your question, i have about 6,000 words on the new chapter. right now, i'm also taking august off writing. to recharge, to sleep, and only write if i feel like it. later? i don't know. i think i'm in a place where i've just got 30,000 words out in three months and i'm too brain-dead to think clearly. i am acutely aware that this issue doesn't have a solution (or at least one that i like) but i might be more willing to compromise my life again after a bit of rest and holidays.

anyway, sorry for being a debbie downer, anon. and sorry i don't have an update for you. i'm dying for one, too.

#asked and answered #castles #i might delete this later cause it's so depressing and it's not *me* but it's also how i feel right now #i just don't know what to do lads

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cheesybadgers · 2 months

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okay soooo tell me your favorite thing about writing the epic beast that is OHDH. i want the directors cut lol

Ahhh Alex, bless you and thank you for sending this question ❤️😘

And oh boy, where do I start?!! It’s hard to pick just one, so here are three main things:

1) I think one of the trickiest yet most satisfying parts of the process was figuring out a) how any canon divergence made sense for the characters and their motivations and b) what the impact of those changes were on future canon events. It was such a fine balancing act and I had a lot of lightbulb moments in the shower (I swear my shower is some sort of creativity portal lol) solving plot problems. I had someone comment on AO3 saying how much they liked the ‘butterfly effect’ of the canon divergence and that sums it up so well, because one change at the start of the fic has a domino effect on everything else.

Sort of linking on from this, I also had so much fun making characters interact who never met in canon, or only had very minimal screen time together. Horacio and Chucho obviously never meet in the show, but their paths crossing in OHDH led to a whole new subplot and ultimately helped shape the ending of the fic. I wanted this to be a transformative work rather than a re-hash of canon, so if I achieved anything, I think it’s safe to say I achieved that!

2) I was also surprised how much I immersed myself in fic research, more so than I ever did for my degree back at university 😂 I knew I was going to have to do some research when the story got to a certain point, but I just kept falling down different rabbit holes and it expanded my reading list in all sorts of directions I wasn’t expecting. It got me back into the habit of reading books too, which I’m embarrassed to say I hadn’t done much of in recent years. But knowing I needed to read X or Y in order to progress with a certain scene or chapter was great motivation.

I must confess, my knowledge of Colombian history wasn’t great before (it’s not something the British education system covers), but my reading actually made me question and challenge the source material in ways I hadn’t before. So, shipping might be considered just shoving two characters together like dolls, but hey, at least I learnt some history along the way lol.

3) Getting to make up a tonne of backstory (especially for Horacio, who is a bit of a blank slate in canon) and create OCs. I’d never created proper OCs before this fic, so it was fun building them around the main pairing, giving them their own personalities and histories but also letting them affect the story. I think the different locations throughout the fic were like OCs of their own too (I’ve been contemplating a holiday to Madrid since I wrote the chapters set there lol), so the world building aspect of it was a fun learning experience too, and not something that came naturally to me at the start.

I’m sure there are so many more things! I will also say it’s been the steepest of learning curves re: my writing skills as well. I’m probably not even consciously aware of everything I’ve learnt, but going back to earlier chapters has been difficult, because I was obviously much more inexperienced back then lol. The urge to do re-edits has been real, but I don’t think I have the energy for that right now (and it was posted as a WIP, so by its nature it’s going to show the progress of my writing from start to finish).

Back in 2020/2021, I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone (I think it was around a time during the pandemic when I realised how uninspiring my day job is and how little motivation I have for it anymore, so pursuing creative hobbies away from it seemed like a better use of my time), and it's safe to say I managed that with this behemoth 😂 It's been a huge journey of self-discovery and realising what I'm capable of. Fic used to be something I thought only other people wrote, so there were times I'd pull a metaphor or certain phrasing out of thin air and laugh at my laptop in shock, because I didn't think I had it in me to be poetic lol.

So, my advice to anyone reluctant to start a creative project because they don't feel skilled enough, please, please, please do it anyway. Seriously. Because you will muddle through, learn so much along the way and surprise yourself ❤️

Ok that was a bit of a ramble, but you did say director’s cut, so here we are 😂 Thank you once again for sending this, I've been in such a reflective and bittersweet mood since finishing, so it's nice to focus purely on the positive aspects of the experience 😘

#Ask #Asks #Replies #OHDH

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houkagokappa · 4 months

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2023 was a year of slow recovery and new beginnings for me. 2022 ended and 2023 began with me finally, finally, finally, finally, FINALLY finishing my thesis, which allowed me a desperately needed fresh start, I could look ahead for once and not continue dragging the past behind me. I can't express how much of a relief that was, or how proud I am of myself for doing it against all odds. Yet, I don't really talk about it, because of all the shame I feel for taking so long with it.

However, with that chapter of my life finally over, I could focus on other things that I wanted to do academically and professionally. My studies still continue, but now I know how to pace myself, so it's going a lot better (it's actually going great, despite me never learning not to procrastinate or have anxiety over certain things, so now I try to take that into account as well as I can). I'm still thrilled I got that internship at the botanical museum I always dreamed of, and I had a good year working on Åland all summer long. I have some plans on what to do in the future, and although the uncertainty is stressful, I'm glad to have some vague ideas, because it feels like everything will be sorted out eventually.

This year I've also gone out a lot more. I'm active in a local(-ish) kimono group, and I've been making new friends there over a shared interest, so I've been getting new friends AND a place where I can fulfill my kimono hobby, which has been GREAT. I've also been spending time with my colleagues outside of the 2 weeks a year we see each other for the fieldwork we do. We've had casual hangouts, movie nights and of course the dnd one shot, that's been dragged out to a short campaign based on the amount of sessions we've had. Dnd is what kept me going during the pandemic, so it's nice to be back playing again. There's also my uni classmates, oil painting classmates, and old high school classmates, who I've been making a lot of fun plans with this year. Not to mention all my online friends, both old and new :) I'm at a point where it's sometimes difficult to keep up with everyone, and that's comforting in the sense that I now have people to turn to and hang out with when I need it, which hasn't always been the case and is something that's given me much grief in the past.

I'm no longer in therapy, and although I might still benefit from it, it's nice to see and feel how my mental health has improved enough that I no longer feel the absolute need for it. It's cool to see that I can go on without it, I'm doing much better for real. I have all these connections, hobbies, ideas and plans for what I want to do in the (near) future :')

So yeah, it's been a fairly good year.

#my nonsense #my life

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kafus · 5 months

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im so happy that youre using finneon/lumineon in your pt playthrough btw because !!! i need to show u this TCG card of Finneon. its so so so pretty nd it made me want to collect more pokemon cards to hopefully appreciate more underrated pokemon like it

also i dont own either of them but have you SEEN of Lumineon's special V-Card art? like theyre rare and elusive so obviously they get cool artwork but WOW they go all out here

holy shit i have not kept up with the TCG since the pandemic (i literally used to play IRL every weekend but the scalping and prices just got too crazy and i cannot afford the hobby anymore) so i had no idea they made lumineon V cards. thank you for showing me these i am considering purchasing one of these for my collection individually because lumineon is one of my fav pokemon that never gets any love... man that second card even shows off its glowing effect which i feel like is really not shown enough in the franchise despite it being a key part of the Lumineon Lore... the finneon is super cute too im crying

#kiki was here #asks #melblur #i should really tell my childhood lumineon story sometime #i am attached to this fish

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where-is-francis · 2 years

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Shang-Chi x male reader fluff where they try to find ways to have fun during the pandemic.

Pronouns: None/Not Specified

Prompt: Finding fun things to do with your boyfriend

A/N: I’m literally so excited to post this I love him so much just. Look at him. Also might be kinda dry bc I haven’t watched the movie in a while but oh well. Not pandemic specific, this could also be read as you two just finding new hobbies. Switching between using his birth name and “American” name bc yannow I feel like it’s important to acknowledge both.

TW: None!

Something you and your boyfriend had noticed in the recent years was that time had a unique way of passing

So fast, but simultaneously dragging on

Very early on you noticed you needed some new hobbies

In reality, it took you and Shaun a week to get burnt out on nearly every video game you owned

Smash Bros? Got repetitive. Animal Crossing? Creator block. Minecraft? After you threatened to break the Xbox (you were blown up by a creeper after just finding diamonds), he decided it was best to hide the controls.

Which led to you sitting in the kitchen in the middle of the night, eating some leftover pizza

“What do we do now?”

“Beats me.”

Cue the brainstorming session

The two of you paced around the small apartment, trying to think of new things to try

“What about cooking?”

You tried that

The emphasis on tried

Let me get this straight though: Shang-Chi can absolutely cook. The issue is more of whether he wants to or not.

The next morning, you two were ready to (safely!) get ingredients at the farmer’s market

You kept asking him what he was planning on making, but he wouldn’t tell you

It was cute, though, to see him excited about something

He had it all planned out in his head, and hoped the execution would go well

Your lovely boyfriend was going to prepare one of his favorite meals that his mom made when he was young

Then, you two would go to the park and have a bit of time to do yoga

To say it shocked you was an understatement

He ended up taking the food to the park and having a bit of a picnic after stretching. The weather couldn’t have been more perfect; the temperature was amazing, with the hint of a breeze

No matter how mundane the rest of the world seemed, nature remained untouched. Flowers were blooming, leaves in all shades of green, and the wildlife positively buzzing

Yoga was tranquil and relaxing — until the breeze picked up too much and made you lose your balance

The sight of Shaun with his hand out had you at a loss for words. “Wow, falling for me that hard?”

You could’ve stayed in that moment forever. It was quiet in the park, but even if it wasn’t, that wouldn’t have mattered. The lush green leaves danced in the background almost pointing you towards the face of your beloved.

For the first time in ages, he just looked… peaceful. Looking at you had earned that reaction.

Soft beams of light danced over your skin, highlighting the color and (freckles/imperfections/etc). The color of your eyes a brightened hue but still full of life — a great contrast to how everything felt lately.

The moment felt gentle, and fragile. Like something that could shatter if you moved on too quickly. Everything around you began to blur until it dissipated completely, leaving the two of you in the pure white energy.

His face leaned in closer, enough for you to practically feel his smile.

“I think we should really hop on the ‘plant gay’ bandwagon, don’t you think?”

“Shang-Chi, you’re lucky I love you. Because you just completely butchered our moment.”

He was right, though. Afterwards, your shared space became full with different plants. All colors, shapes, and shades.

An homage to your love and — hopefully — more days in the park.

Comments/reblogs are greatly appreciated! Check out my blog for more gender neutral/male reader content!

#marvel x gn reader #marvel x gender neutral reader #marvel x male reader #shang chi x male reader #shang chi x gender neutral reader #x male reader #x gender neutral reader #x gn reader

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starrysnowdrop · 1 year

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Know the Mun

My favorite flower, stargazer lilies!

1. Are you named after anyone? Yes, my maternal grandfather. My name is basically the feminine form of his name. Most people would think it’s just made up, but it’s a real name, truly!

2. When was the last time you cried? Oof, like yesterday? I was not feeling well, and I was frustrated, so I teared up a bit.

3. Do you have kids? Yes, I have my one and only biological son! He’s my world.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Oh certainly not… 😏

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Sports?? Ha, that’s funny. I’ve had asthma for most of my life, so I can barely run, let alone do sports.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Whether they are a friendly person or not.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings for sure! I hate scary movies, especially jump scares.

8. Any special talents? Uhhhh, not really? I can play the flute, and I’m academically inclined?? That’s about it.

9. Where were you born? New Orleans, Louisiana baby!! Best city in the world! ⚜️

10. What are your hobbies? Video games, writing FFXIV fanfiction, being a Trekkie, and running after a very energetic boy child.

11. Do you have any pets? Not since our last cat, Jecht, died during the height of the pandemic. We are waiting to see if my son needs a service dog or not.

12. How tall are you? 5'3” :3

13. Fave subject in school? Astronomy, always!

14. Dream job? It has always been an astronaut. I tried to pursue my dream job, but my physical limitations kept me from it. Now I would be happy to get my PhD in Literature one day.

15. Eye colour? Light green!

Tagged by: @ainyan Thank You for the tag sweetie!! It is always deeply appreciated!! 🥹💖

Tagging: Hmmmm, I’m not sure who’s been tagged and who hasn’t, so if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged!

#know the mun #mun stuff #munday

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autumnalwalker · 10 months

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The Archivist's Journal: Complete

Well, as complete as it's going to be at any rate. The original "journal entry a day for a year" project is now up at @thearchivistsjournal in its entirety and clocking in at just over 330,000 words.

To everyone who's read any of this story, whether keeping up with it as it updates, reading it archivally (pun intended), or just reading snippets in tag games: Thank you. I hope it brought you at least some small amount of joy

I don't know that I'll ever do a second draft/editing pass, given that the sort of raw "just a journal I was keeping"-ness of the whole thing is half the point. Or maybe I'm just too emotionally attached to what ended up being a far more personal project than I originally intended to bear making the cuts that proper editing would entail. Or maybe I'm simply too lazy and too eager to move on to the next thing.

Although if I'm being entirely honest, this is - in a way - the second editing pass that's up online.

Confession Time:

While it is true that The Archivist's Journal was written at a rate of one entry a day for a year (plus Days 365-380 all in one marathon writing session on the last day), the dates that the project ran from was from July 16, 2021 to July 15, 2022. On July 16, 2022 I made my first ever post on Tumblr and began putting The Archivist's Journal online one day at a time, with each entry going online on the anniversary of the day I originally wrote it.

There were some minor edits in this, but they were all of the nature of minor typographical fixes. Spelling errors, odd line breaks, words that were technically spelled right but not the one I meant, the occasional addition/subtraction/substitution of a word or phrase. That sort of thing. Nothing that actually changed the story, or even altered an individual scene.

I apologize if this has all come across as a misrepresentation of myself. The truth is, when I originally started this project it was something purely for myself and it wasn't until I was approaching the end that I realized that I had something that might possibly be worth sharing, even if only one person somewhere liked it. But I felt that the serial format of one entry a day keeping analogous between real time and story time so I kept the posts staggered in that way. Honestly, I don't think that I could have written this project and kept it up at the pace that I did if I'd also been trying to maintain an online presence at the time.

And speaking of the pace, that's perhaps the biggest reason I ended the story where I did rather than keeping it up indefinitely. Averaging around 800 words a day every single day straight when I also have a full-time job and other hobbies (even after cutting back on those hobbies in favor of writing) was not sustainable for me, and as much as Iove this project, I was burnt out by the end, mentally and emotionally (and physically given how it impacted my sleep schedule and ate the time I used to spend exercising). And then there was the weirder factor of the journal format combining with pandemic lockdowns/self-isolation to start to feel enough like a second life to make me mildly concerned for my mental health were it to keep going the way it was. As I said, it turned out to be an unexpectedly personal work, and the Archivist became far more of a self-insert (albeit obviously with certain traits idealized and certain flaws exaggerated) than originally intended.

So, what's next?

For the most part, continuing on with Empty Names as my current main focus project (once I finish up with my current writing hiatus to take care of various personal and IRL things). I don't particularly like working on two things at once. One day once Empty Names is finished (most likely a couple years from now, given my much more leisurely pace these days) I'd like to go back and revisit that "Untitled Solar Punk Witch Story" in some fashion. Assuming I don't get some other grand project idea before then.

That said, over the past year I have written a few sporadic entries for The Archivist's Journal. A sort of checking in every few months to see how that world and those characters are doing. I'll most likely post those as their anniversaries roll around to keep them in temporal sync with the rest of the online postings. These entries are more epilogue than sequel though, so Day 380 will remain the end of the "main story" of The Archivist's Journal.

So, yeah. That's all that. And again, I apologize for any misrepresentation of myself. While I don't know that I'll ever do anything quite like The Archivist's Journal again, it will always hold a special place for me. Among many other things, it taught me that writing is something I enjoy doing and that I wish to keep doing for a long time to come.

And if anyone happens to like what I write, that's pretty cool too.

Thanks for reading.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #my writing #The Archivist's Journal

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sunbeargames · 3 months

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It feels nice when you reach a point in your hobby (for me, in this case, homebrew/ttrpg design and miniature painting) where you no longer feel frustrated with your past self for not creating better work, but proud of your past self for creating things often enough to become better.

I started both hobbies around... 4 or 5 years ago now? Both helped me get through the worst of the COVID pandemic. For a long time I was unsatisfied with my bodies of work, disregarding some of my earliest painted miniatures and constantly rewriting my early homebrew. One of my earliest homebrew works, a Cú Chulainn/Hulk inspired barbarian (which can now be found as the Path of the Fleshquake in Knud's Compendium of Barbarism) has been Ship of Theseus-d multiple times over.

But I'm really proud of where I am now and how far I've come, and it's thanks to the me of several years ago who, despite facing many failures, kept making things. "The time will pass anyway" and all that.

I'm trying to keep this in mind as I wade into yet more unfamiliar waters and feel the pain of being a novice with tastes that outstrip skills, that someday I will look back with pride and compassion on my current struggles.

5 years still feels like a dreadfully long time at this point in my life, but its the least I can do to repay my future self's kind remembrances.

What's more, it feels so odd to be at different points in multiple journeys at the same time! To be looking back on progress in these areas, and looking forward at the long road ahead in others.

I think on this to encourage myself as I throw myself face-first at new skills. Failures and setbacks and disappointments are happening and will continue to happen (as they do now even in hobbies I consider myself quite proficient) but in time the lessons taken from those less favorable results will accumulate into something approaching expertise!

So, daunting as it may be to approach something new, I am also in a position to assist myself as one who has walked similar roads. In many ways, I feel inspired to take up more skills, thinking of how rich in experience I'll be another few years from now!

Moreover, I don't feel like I'm slowing down much in game design or miniature painting. If anything, I have enough perspective and experience now that I can make better choices about how to spend my time and improve. Actively seeking out new techniques to try, new tools to use, rather than blindly stumbling forward until I can map things out by what I've fallen over.

#old man sunbear rambles #sunbear games #homebrew #ttrpg design #mini painting

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prsk-krow · 1 year

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Krow's goodbye to 2022.

Man, it's already ending! I mean, about 1 hour on my timezone till it ends, bit close enough for me! That was quite the unique year we've lived, hasn't it? The end of the pandemic, the slow return to normality, it was definitely something special! But that's not what I want to talk about. I want to say something important, something that I need to get off my chest.

I have never been someone dedicated. I usually find an interesting game, okay it for a month or two, and then leave it alone. Sometimes it's a subject, sometimes it's a hobby, sometimes it's an entire series of books, or a new side of the internet! It didn't bother me at the time, but that was because I never knew what it felt like to dedicate one's self to just one thing.

I remember, at the start of the year, being alone with my likes. No interacting on the internet, just lurking everywhere. I can't blame myself though, it has been that way because of the way I grew up. The family I had understood me, but didn't have time to interact with me about this sort of stuff. The friends I had interacted with me, but didn't know or understood this sort of stuff. Latin culture, at least the school's, doesn't connect with the English, popular internet ones. And that's the way it had been ever since I was little.

However, that changed this year. After finally getting some courage, and asking my friends about a game that I liked, that most knew nothing about (DR), I managed to discover very few who did! In fact, they already had a friend group! I just didn't interact with them much... Guess I was scared of commitment, huh? I was scared to simply be ignored again, and left with my thoughts alone.

That was a big step for me, but it wasn't it. As I payed more attention to the friends I grew stronger bonds with, I discovered it. Discovered this. Project sekai... Heh, makes me remember seeing them being lazy in music class and skipping it for a game of music... I never called them out for this, but it was funny.

I didn't think of it as anything special, but it made me remember something else, something about the past. I used to play Deemo. A game I still remember to this day, even though it was so long ago... It was nice to play, relaxing songs with intense ones, tapping play style unlike most 'popular' rhythm games on the app store... It made me happy, and the memory also made me happy.

I decided to once again, have some courage and take the plunge. Twice in the same year, huh? I've come quite far. And that's when I realized how special it was. I was familiar with anime type games, and I had even tried a few. Azur Lane, Genshin Impact, Arknights... But none of them ever stuck. However this one... It kept up bringing surprise after surprise, always keeping me engaged...

The rhythm aspect. Not only did it remind me of my childhood, but it also made me feel so proud of myself... Being able to FC hard songs that my friends couldn't, moving on to experts, FCing my first ex... It was awesome! Every single step was noticeable enough for me to look back and feel extremely proud of myself! Besides, a rhythm game, where buying new songs wasn't tedious or p2w?? That sounded awesome!

The gacha aspect. Something I used to dislike about gacha anime games was the ways they put their banners. One character is special, they have all the attention, the banner ends and they're forgotten, left limited, the focus away from them for months. It wasn't what I wanted, but Prsk? They always shine the spotlight on their characters again and again, always giving chances! It's sad when you don't get a specific 4*, but there are always more! And that made me so satisfied in a way I never knew I needed! And let's return to a previous point real quick... The rhythm aspect combined with the gacha aspect was so satisfying as well! I always disliked grinding in Gachas, but playing these songs over and over is so much more fun! I never got tired of the process obtaining the resources I needed, and that made me want to stay even more!

The story. As soon as I discovered the event, card and main stories, I knew this was something special. I LOVE story driven games, I always have! But, sometimes you don't want to play a game for the story! No problem, prsk keeps the gameplay and story completely separate! That was so cool to me, and it made me want to stay even more! And as more and more stories came out, I return to my previous point once again: The spotlight returns to the same characters, over and over again! Never adding important new, only revising and bringing up the same set! I loved that so much!!

The characters. THE CHARACTERS!! I've always loved the characters of any game, and they've always been the reason why I'm attracted, staying, and thinking about the games! And with a cast of 20, of course a few had to stick with me! And the chosen ones for me were Nightcord , a group of composers who deal with real life problems, solve then at a slow but realistic pace, genuinely care about each other, and show off progress with each new story... I fell in love. I could rant more, but that's not what I'm here for.

Finally, last, and the main point of this post...

The community.

Haha, who would've thought, that a lurker would not only make a blog on Tumblr, but enter and actively participate in a public discord server? That's, what, 4 times I've courageously taken the plunge even with all of my insecurities surrounding me? Wow, I'm impressed at myself!

But ah, I'm getting distracted again! Talking about myself so much on this post, let's change the subject! You guys, you who read my posts, who like them, who reblog them, who follow me to see more of them! Hehehe, you guys make me feel so special... Well, that's coming from someone who's used to thinking of himself as not much, and used to staying away from the attention of the internet.

I'll admit it, I've never been someone who holds themselves in high regard. Quiet, closed, reserved, difficulty making tough decisions... That's how I've always been. Yeah, I didn't really give off that vibe before, right? But that's the truth, always had been... Except for this blog and that server. Now that I've opened this blog, joined that discord, revealed myself and started to attract other's eyes, I finally realized somethilng important.

I've been comforting myself too much! It's only because I risked opening this blog that i discovered how nice it feels to show off my imagination, how good it feels to have others look at it and like it so much as to ask more of me, and how satisfying it is to share this space, this experience with other's like me! With @enassbraid! @jazztastic! @whoskyatto! @enamation! @aoyagiisakito! And more of you that I couldn't get to meet too well yet! Spreading these posts with you guys is a feeling I'll never give up, and I'll make sure to never let any of you down! You guys can count on me to remain here, by your sides, acompannying you all!

It's only because I took another risk, confronted my hesitation, and joined that discord server that I discovered the joys of chatting with people who share your likes and are open to discussing topics of interest and chatting about fun stuff! The enjoyment of dedicating one's self to trying their best alongside others who share your challenges, supporting eachother with training and helping everyone do better and better each day! MRE, I couldn't have discovered all of this without you guys, and I feel proud of calling myself a member!

I want to keep going! Now that I've taken the first steps, I can't back down! I don't want to back down! I want to keep trying my hardest for everyone, to continue putting in efforts alongside others that are doing the same! To make sure the ones next to me are doing ok and help them no matter what! I made the decision to finally, officially come out of my lurking habits and make a place for myself in this wonderful world of the internet, and I don't regret a thing!

THANK YOU SO MUCH, 2022!! >^< You gave me so many doors, and the willpower to open them all! Now, I have a passion to dedicate myself to, and I shall see through it to the best of my abilities! I'm still scared, awkward, insecure, and maybe even anxious, but I'm not going to let that stop me! Not anymore! And if I can't tomorrow, I'll do it in a week! Or in a month! No matter how long I may take, how much Imay struggle, I have decided to keep on going this new path I've found! -^-

This path, as the Tumblr, MRE, and most importantly, PRSK, Krow of crows!

So, with that, I say goodbye to 2022, a year I shall never forget, and I say hello to 2023, a year which I'll make sure to remain memorable! For myself, and for all of you! HAPPY NEW YEARS TO YOU ALL!! GLORY TO NIIGO, GLORY TO PROJECT SEKAI!! +^+

Thank you so much to all of you who read through all of that! This has been my last post of 2022. I'll reblog, like, or comment on all of the new year's posts of others tomorrow! See you all next year! Krow, logging out! .^.

#/cawspecial

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