Ive been playing Deathloop for the past hour and my hands are SHAKING first person shooter games make me so nervous omfg Im scared to die

🗣️: Neil is so sweet and genuinely kind 😍

Canon Neil:

Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

jorts neil isnt real and cant hurt you jorts neil isnt real and cant hurt you jorts neil isnt real and

damien liking that tweet... i'll bury myself in the hole now but before i do, i want them to know i love them both and i cherish their friendship so much i hope this won't cause another drought and- (im spiraling)

I mean if the Christmas Event™ is what we got for waiting 48 days, I'm honestly fine for them to charge up whatever the next spirit bomb moment is next lmao

As much as people are feuding rn about Damangela you have to admit it might be one of the funniest misunderstandings to happen at Smosh ever.

Fully removing anything to do with shipping- Damien and Angela's Christmas Event™ and aftermath reads like a Hallmark movie, if you look at it from an outside perspective it just does, and I think that makes it the funniest shit ever (the fact that people are ACTUALLY shipping them though???????? LIKE BRO THE SPICE IS THE FACT THEY ARE BEST BUDDIES! GOOD OLE PALS! NOT ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED! THATS WHAT MAKES IT SO GOOD)

It's an honest to goodness misunderstanding! (that is just really silly)

It obviously (you can't fight me on this, it's just the truth) has undercurrents of being slightly romantic, (it's not helped by how she told it, and the REASON she told it)(not to mention Damien's replies) and obviously cheesy. I'm sure they both know how it sounds.

But I find it funny more than anything else? it makes me want to tease them? like I'm not even getting shipping vibes from it, I just want to pinch their cheeks.

If it were ANY other duo at Smosh people would be finding this funny as fuck like I am (imagine Amangela or quite literally ANYONE ELSE)

People are just being weird about the fact that they're both hetero ig?? Like I'm just looking at it from their perspective and I'd think it was funny as fuck

AITA- for forgetting what a co-worker said at a work Christmas Party because I had too much to drink?

Replayed Modern Warfare 3 2011 on Veteran tonight and goooooooood night. Blood Brothers never gets any easier to watch no matter how many times you've done it and the ending really never misses huh

I apologize for the amount of yapping in the tags I reread it all on mobile and started giggling because it went on for so long but eh. Blessed are those who won't shut the freak up and all that

so i finished the teal mask dlc

ok so i like rule 63 fanart in general, right? and i was planning on making designs for rule 63 versions of every Twisted Wonderland student (and for those who dont know rule 63 means genderbent)

i just reblogged a great post by @/sebastianthemadlad talking about why they personally don't like the transfem vil headcanon and it makes really good points. and after reading it i was like "cool! how do i recontextualize this with the rule 63 au?" and had a crisis because... how in the world do i flip the script with vil and epel. (decided last minute to put it under a cut bc way too long and ramble-y)

epel is often mistaken as a girl and gets upset by this and wants to be more masculine because of his traditional upbringing. okay.

so if she's a girl instead, would she get mistaken as a boy instead and want to be more feminine? or maybe she is super feminine and still wants to be masculine but thinks its wrong for her to think that? there's not much of a conflict if she's just okay with being a tomboy or being perceived as a masc woman because her upbringing says women aren't supposed to be masc.

and then vil. oh vil oh vil. i love vil a lot. the platonic ideal of a feminine man. like if harry styles actually did what his fans claimed he did.

sebastian's post mentioned that if vil actually was a trans women, she'd be a tomboy, because the whole point of the character is breaking gender norms. and this really stuck out to me because i was gonna make my rule 63 version of schoenheit a trans woman. so what to do about valerie schoenheit.

making her a tomboy doesn't quite sound right to me, because i think of tomboy as a pretty sport-sy archetype, and she doesn't really scream sporty. like, she's an actress and a model, and she's all about being elegant and beautiful. so tomboy might not be the right word to describe her, but "elegant" and "beautiful" is not just for feminine aesthetics. she could just be a masculine woman. i also kind of half tossed out the idea in the tags i left on that post about nonbinary schoenheit and it's still all kind of mush in my brain right now and i might not take that concept with val totally but i might just steal part of that idea to make her more androgynous too? idk. i made this post because i haven't settled on anything yet

oh hey while you're here i havent settled on a name yet for fem!epel. vote now on your phones!

IVE NEVER GOT THIS HOWE DIALOGUE. THROWING UPPPPPPPPPPPP

What if I was your servant and you promised me a better life and I believed you and then you used me and resented me I saw you at your worst and I held the attention of someone you loved despite the fact you treat them like shit and so you took out your anger on me all the cruelty in the world and as I suffered you sat back with a cup of tea and smiled and you killed your beloved in front of me just to prove a point that they belonged to you and all I can do is watch and then when you just can’t stand the sight of me anymore you cry loud enough for the world to hear you that I’m the dangerous one, a wicked seductress, a witch, and I burn and burn and burn and you go home and laugh, relieved of this burden, the world sings your praises yet you are nothing but alone and miserable and I crawl my way in i appear in your mirror I breathe down your neck you bleed all my blood and you drown in it and it’s funny really how for someone who’s supposedly so evil all I have to do to provoke you is stare with honest eyes and that sight just pushes you over the edge and you have the fucking audacity to scream, plead for help, to actually sob about it like you’re the victim like you’ve always been the poor little victim and you tighten your rope and breathe your last breath and I embrace you from behind and drag my teeth across your neck and dig my nails into your chest and you wait for it to fade to black but your eyes refuse to close and I squeeze over your heart and feel it beat faster and faster and we laugh together and we both know I can see how pathetic you really are and I just keep holding you tighter because I don’t want to know what’d happen if I let you go I don’t think I could ever take my eyes off you again and you could’ve apologized to me even once but you never fucking did and you never will and the world will always see you as the beautiful tragic victim, the hero this town needed, and when they think of evil my face will always be the one they see every fucking time and so I refuse to let go and let you go on believing you’re a saint, committing every atrocity imaginable and using my name to do so, you’re going to hell with me and we will burn and burn and burn and we’re literally both girls 😳🙊🙀

i feel so stupid but i miss my crush so much i don't see him again until next week i feel like i hauve rabies

Bro, stop declaring to yourself and the internet that you want the upcoming Harry Potter series to bomb. Have you seen how successful Hogwarts Legacy was? Joanne Rowling and her franchise are not going to dwindle down in popularity anytime soon. Stop harassing people and let them enjoy a series they love. Just chill :)

I hope you and every HP stan gets cement in their water pipes :))

just got to the stupid zaharas chapter and went through dimi and claude's conversation and my god

they really did not use a single quarter of a brain cell when putting that conversation into ag

"your issue is with the church, not with faerghus?" eh wot hootie tootie claude never had a problem with faerghus and hasn't been acting like it. makes it sound like they've been fighting each other (i.e. this is meant to fit gw but and they just copy/pasted the whole conversation bc it just makes no sense).

"we have nothing to gain by fighting you." yeah, you... haven't been and never said you were planning to.

"we could've been friends." and whhhhyyyy can't you? there is an entire zero bad blood between y'all and lorenz has already pretty much said this whole second half of the war thing has been proof of the friendship between the kingdom and alliance soooo...?

"had i joined with you" uh um but you literally did this has been ongoing for half the war now

additional funnies are claude just being so butthurt that dimitri is like this might endanger your life and claude is like aw shucks my life has been endangered since i was born i'm basically an endangered species!

also, dimitri saying it brings guilt to do the things claude would do bc he's been there. lel. claude had no guilt in gw tho (for killing rhea and all that shit).

but fr tho, it just seems like gw claude and dimi got warped into zaharas and the ag ones are just passed out in the normal world having the same yeehaw ass fever dream LIKE

this entire conversation legitimately makes worse than zero sense. i can only imagine how confused people were who played ag first and got this conversation bc it like, legitimately has no place in this route. this is like a fever dream on steroids that were laced with drugs.

i was lucky i was playing ag while simultaneously watching the other routes on youtube or i would have also been absolutely bonkers confused.

Epic Free Game (til 26 Dec 2023, 10am ct)

Lost in transit while on a colonist ship bound for the edge of the galaxy, you awake decades later only to find yourself in the midst of a deep conspiracy threatening to destroy the colony. Explore the various planets and locations of Halcyon, including the mysterious Gorgon Asteroid and delightful distilleries of Eridanos. As you encounter various factions, all vying for power, the character you decide to become will determine how this player-driven story unfolds. (Includes all dlc.)

(Geeky note: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. This game isn't for everyone but considering that this is free, you should definitely grab it if you're interested. It's made by the people who did Fallout New Vegas (which was not Bethesda) and it's got a quirky sense of humor. While overall I think it's a great game, I think it's real strength is in the character-work for the npcs.)

I am a hater of the strong woman loses power at the end of the series and lives a normal domestic life to my bones but I will always defend that ending for Alina Starkov and Katniss Everdeen, it makes perfect sense for their story arcs and literally can be argued to be their driving force at times.