#the fucking worst apartment hotel i've ever been to
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#the fucking worst apartment hotel i've ever been to#it was a fucking nightmare to rebook the dates when our concert was changed and that was still more than a month before we were even going#like jumping through 60 hoops and having to explain my situation to 10 different people on the phone just for everyone to tell me the same#then toDAY i call the owner and he's like 'the keys are under the doormat' (like first of all who DOES that)#we get there and they're not under the doormat#i call him & he says 'oh the cleaners must've forgot to put them there i'll be there in 20 mins'(the cleaners part will be important later)#we wait for him in the sweltering heat until we're FINALLY let into our apartment#the '3 beds' they said they had are two beds and a fucking couch so now i'm sleeping on the goddamn couch#the entire apartment reeks of half heartedness like the fridge and the cupboard it's in ARE NOT CONNECTED you need to open them SEPARATELY#the fridge REEKS bc someone left a package of SALMON in the freezer#there are crumbs all over the counters and dust on the floor the plates are not clean there's one trash can and it can't be closed#'cleaners' my ass#when you shower half the bathroom is under water#the blinds don't work#the stove is on some weird shit where it doesn't work when the pot is too small for the hotplate#the pots are almost unusable bc the handles get SUPER hot while cooking#there's no dishrag or anything to clean with just a dirty sponge#there is dishsoap but there's ALSO a USED rinse aid?? despite the fact that there's no dishwasher??? make it make sense#idk maybe i'm just extra sensitive bc being on the train all day is absolute HELL but i'm seriously considering leaving a karen review#n e ways truly hope that mcr concert is worth it#gerard i need personal financial compensation from you for staying in that shithole#/pers
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sometimes i think about what would have happened if richard had died instead of henry and the rest of the book had been narrated the song of achilles style and it hurts
#raj shitposting#imagine had the fight led to the gun being thrown out the window. had henry seen that richard was shot. had the ambulance been too late..#that is the saddest thought i've ever had#henry would quit college. buy the estate he had seen with richard. live there with all his stuff and sob into his clothes like a baby...#he'd go to california every christmas and spend the time alone in some stupid hotel and become absolutely fucking unhinged.#he'd tend to richard's mother because ofc his father would run away from home that was the kind of man he was.#and he'd call no one but his own mother for her funeral because no one else would be bothered.#he'd send some money to richard's father along with the news and go about living his life like a goddamn widow.#that's the perfect word. widow. henry would be nothing but a widow.#the bmw would be the worst thing in his possession. he'd think about selling it but he wouldn't.#he'd think that anytime he had a semblance of thought that maybe richard was with him.. it would be in that fucking car.#he wouldn't sell it out of superstition that the car was the only place where he could safely feel richard and fall apart in his memory.#he'd cry like a madman every damn day in that car.while getting groceries.visiting francis at the country house.going for dinner with them.#he'd probably get a portrait done of richard. maybe of a photo of richard in some fancy clothes francis took at the country house.#yk those times rich people ugly cry by a full size painting in a burgundy robe with wine spilled on the floor by them clutching their chest#as if in physical pain and agony? that would be my man henry.#he'd be too out of his mind to even remember that maybe that day he killed charles too because nothing seems to matter anymore.#henry winter#richard papen#winterpapen#tsh#donna tartt#the secret history#literati
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Enough With The Schemes!
Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader
A/N: Ngl I kinda had this in my drafts just because I didn't know how it'd ever fit into the story but I decided to fix it up and post it after @vespers-night-sky's fanart for the "Get Off My Screen" Series- the direct continuation and reader's death is in the works folks, I've just been trying to figure out the pacing ahsojskqjds- I am not gonna be a Hazbin Hotel episode jkjkjk Anyway, thank you thank you THANK YOU ALL for the support with the series and think of these little things as filler episodes before the big reveal. Anyways, as usual- happy reading and I hope you all enjoy! The series in it's entirety can be found on my blog under the #Get Off My Screen Series
You didn't know how much more of Vox's shenanigans you could take.
First it had been the wallpaper war-
Until now you couldn't stop his face from being a permanent fixture to your devices-
But it was fine, he could have that!
You lamented over not having [Favorite Fictional Character Name] in your backgrounds anymore but you know what it was fineeeee-
You honestly couldn't tell if having his glitchy grinning face was an upgrade or cringe central.
Then he figured out how to absolutely lag out your computer at some point.
You seriously wanted to punch his monitor head from frustration because of it.
Especially when he had the nerve to laugh at your irritation-
This asshole-!
Now, he was absolutely blowing up your phone and devices with memes or just anything under the sun.
Not that messing with the notification settings would help-
Because somehow he'd figured out how to completely bypass those too.
If this was why that Alastor guy and Vox had a tiff you could practically relate.
Your phone just continued to buzz and vibrate on the table next to you.
Not that you could be fucked with it at the moment trying to cram a paper your professor assigned last BLOODY MINUTE!
That was of course until the Vox desktop companion grabbed the cursor and just didn't let you have it back.
As much as you tried, the darn thing only emoted angrily and refused to give you back the damn arrow.
Your eye twitched as you tried to maintain your cool, only to get up from the desk and scream obscenities to no one in particular.
The day had been a particularly bad one and you really just couldn't deal with Vox's bullshit right now.
"Helloooooo! HELLOOOOOOO?! Earth to (Y/N)! Pick up your fucking phone!!!"
Oh for the love of god he better not have changed your ringtone too-
You rubbed your face in an attempt to calm down before finally checking your phone.
Honestly you expected it to be something really stupid, but seeing what his messages were about made you feel slightly guilty for ignoring him the whole day.
Vox grew used to the routine you both had, so it was no surprise that your sudden inactivity drove his anxiety up the walls.
Poor guy thought of all the worst possible cases that could've happened to you-
He'd greet you in the morning and you would always reply afterwards while eating breakfast.
Save for the times you'd gotten sick or just felt under the weather.
After all, you had classes in the morning and he had broadcasts to air.
You also hated being tardy, similar to how he saw punctuality as something extremely important.
The two of you would intermittently chat within the day and tell each other if you had work to do so you both could leave each other alone for a designated time.
Vox often didn't adhere to this, but he'd always keep his distractions to a minimum if you asked.
Actually neither did you, sometimes you'd be the one spam sending him anything you could think of just to give him a taste of his own medicine.
Then you would wish him a good night's rest and he would eventually reply back with a silly gif or emoji that bode you the same.
He just grew used to it, the familiarity of your companionship in his monotonous day to day.
So whenever something fell apart in the routine you both had, Vox couldn't help but worry that something happened to you.
Whether you'd gotten sick or just anything worse-
It didn't sit well with him when you didn't reply to his morning message like you often did.
Constantly checking his phone for any updates from you to find nothing.
Zilch, none, zero.
The worrying feeling only grew as time ticked onwards.
Even at your busiest you would still shoot him a memo saying that you were.
Which only made this radio silence-
Haha see what I did there-
Worse than it really was.
So what did Vox do?
Absolutely blow up your phone and devices trying to get your attention.
Only when he realized you were doing something on your laptop did he let the desktop companion he made for you interfere.
Not that he even really understood what he'd stuck his hands into.
"What the hell even happened to you today? You didn't even reply to any of my fucking messages! I thought something happened to you!"
"Well SORRY I couldn't reply to your terminally online ass. I was busy dealing with my shitty assignment workload."
The TV overlord quickly picked up that you weren't in a pleasant mood.
The way you typed was just a dead giveaway.
Glancing up at his schedule, Vox notified his secretary to cancel a few of his meetings before he replied to you.
"Anything I can help you with? I'm free for a good few hours."
You were taken aback by his offer, every time Vox would help you he didn't even bother asking.
He just straight up started editing whatever you were working on no matter what you said.
Who was this guy and what did he do with Vox-
"You aren't trying to bullshit me are you? Cuz I'm not in the mood."
"I can tell dollface, let me guess- your shitty professor again?"
You ended up ranting about the abruptly given assignment and just a bunch of other things that slowly ruined your day.
Vox just agreed with you here and there, shooting one word replies or emojis to show he was still listening.
All the while he made the desktop companion let go of your cursor and he looked over your work.
Wow your writing was still absolutely shit-
"So now I've gotta submit this fucking paper before midnight or I'll get a 40% deduction."
"Don't worry about it, we can finish this in an hour. Anything else?"
It was an economics paper you were struggling on and this was Vox you were talking to.
You shouldn't have been surprised that he already knew his way around the topic.
You glanced up from your phone and already saw him editing your essay.
Why didn't you just ask him for help sooner??
"I think I can handle the rest. Thanks anyway, mind if I put on some music while I write?"
"As long as I get to pick some of the songs."
"Deal."
It shouldn't have done anything really.
You shouldn't be having this funny feeling in your gut.
A fuzzy warmth that bloomed because Vox was so quick to drop everything and help you.
Even if it was just something minor like your paper.
Still, you couldn't help but smile as you put on some relaxing tunes and typed away alongside your favorite digital companion.
Just like that, you both melted back into the usual cycle of talking and working.
A casual harmony that you were more than happy to just live in for the moment.
BONUS:
Both you and Vox were just casually chatting by the time his secretary called him away for the scheduled broadcast.
Of course, you wished you could see what he was actually doing but stopped before you could say so.
Instead you just wished Vox well in the broadcast.
"Of course doll, and you know me! I'll be just fine."
Well, his broadcast was going fine-
Until his screen suddenly glitched and randomly played a tune from your playlist.
Had he forgotten to unlink himself from your devices?
It took a few seconds for Vox to compose himself but his show thankfully went on without another hitch.
You on the other hand?
You were just having a personal concert in your room to unwind while waiting for Vox to come back.
So it came as a surprise when the song you played randomly paused and made the Bluetooth disconnect sound.
You didn't connect it to anything-?
Though your questions were eventually answered when Vox blew up your phone again.
This time you couldn't help but laugh.
You were friends with a demonic overlord sure-
But it was hard to fear him when he was such a doofus.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin vox#vox#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin vox x reader#vox x you#Get Off My Screen Series
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Sweet Secret (Levi Ackerman x Reader)
Pairing: Levi Ackerman x F! Reader CEO Levi Ackerman coming in hot. I've been wanting to write a CEO Levi/Sugar daddy Levi story for a hot minute. Enjoy!
Summary: You needed a job. Ackerman Inc was hiring for an in house assistant for none other than the CEO: Levi Ackerman. He's known to be essentially the worst to work with, you decide to take the job and take on the challenge that is Levi Ackerman. Will your relationship remain professional, or will their be monetary value added to the stakes? Or possibly even... love?
ao3
Chapter Ten: Falling
The next morning you and Levi find yourself at the breakfast buffet, the warmth of the sun kissing your tanned skin. You have 3 more days in paradise and you're soaking up all the warmth while you can.
Since last night, Levi has been a bit softer with you. You woke up wrapped in his arms, feeling his heartbeat against your chest. You almost didn't want to get out of bed because of how peaceful he looked. You studied the dark circles under his eyes, thinking about how he probably doesn't sleep much. If he does, it's short lived.
"What did you want to do today?" Levi took a sip of his tea. You eyes scan down to his upper body - his chest dressed with a linen white shirt with two buttons undone.
"Hm..." You tap your chin with your index finger. "Can we look at the shops? I saw some cute trinkets there that I think my sister would love."
Levi nods as he dabs his lips with his napkin. "Tell me more about your sister."
"What about her do you want to know?" You tilt your head to the right. Levi has never really shown that much interest in your personal life, besides things that he already knew.
"Anything."
"Well, she's 18 and very independent." You take a sip of water. "She's always been rambunctious and causing trouble, but I'm always there to pick up the pieces. I've been taking care of her since she was 6."
"6? So that means you were 16?"
"Yeah. I... left my parents and took her with me."
"That must've been a lot for you."
"Some days I don't remember how we even survived, if I'm being honest. My only goal was to get Alexis a stable home. I finished high school and took college courses through computers at our library. We stayed at a shelter until I could find us a cheap apartment."
Levi is absorbing all of this information. His eyes never leave yours, making sure you know he's listening. "You're very strong." He paused and looked towards the water, the ocean air invading his nostrils. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."
"Nothing to be sorry about." You smile at Levi before pressing your lip gloss wand to your lips. Levi watches as you lather the clear, glittery substance on your pouty lips. His eyes wander to your curvy figure - your black sundress caressing every dip and curve on your body. "Did you enjoy breakfast?" You break his stare.
"It was... average. The tea could've been better."
"Is there a place that always makes your tea right?"
"Yeah. It's in Japan."
"Of course it is.
_________________________
"Levi, look at this!" You walk into one of the shops in the hotel. This hotel has a fucking mall inside of it, something you never thought you would've ever experienced. "They have vintage teacups!"
Levi put his hands in his pockets as he browsed the teacups, taking in all of the detail. You've never seen him so focused on something, so you're proud of yourself for bringing him in here. You watch him, feeling your heart beat a bit faster.
None of this is real.
This is a transaction.
Snap out of it.
"Do you see any that you want?" You bring yourself next to Levi. He glances down at you.
"I do. I'm having them sent to the house." Levi handed the cashier his black AMEX card. "I've only seen them in Japan."
"That's amazing." You smile at him. Your gazes catch each other and the both of you can feel your hearts skip a beat.
Levi clears his throat to break the tension that you're both feeling.
"Where to next?"
"I saw some cute bags over there." You point at a store across the way. You know Levi enjoys the luxuries of life, so why not indulge a little?
As you walk in the shop, Levi's large hand presses to the small of your break.
No affection outside of the bedroom, You remember him saying. You decide to test the limits- wrapping your arm around his bicep. His arms are a weakness of yours - the muscles look like they were carved by Greek Gods. Levi didn't move you, nor say anything.
"Aren't you two a beautiful couple?" The saleswoman said. "Are you looking for anything specific?"
"I like that bag." You point to a small, soft green structured bag thats in a display case. It was gold hardware, simple but so elegant. Levi nods in approval.
"We'll like that."
"We do free monogramming/engraving, did you want to do that?"
"Yes." Levi answered for you.
You raise your eyebrows as Levi walked toward the register. "You stay here."
As you wait, you watch Levi again. You feel your heartbeat quickening as his mouth moves when he speaks. You don't hear any words but you're engulfed in... him.
The slight tan in his skin, the way his shirt bellows over his muscles, the way his eyes are drawn to yours every other minute.
Is this what falling in love feels like?
Levi brings the bag over to you, smiling to himself.
"Why are you smiling?! What did you do!" You peek into the bag.
"Open it and see for yourself." Levi shoves his hands in his pockets.
You gently take the bag out of the bag, looking at the engraving that was done on the bag.
You see a simple L in the center below the straps. "L for Levi?" You smile at him.
"Do you like it?"
"I love it." You press the bag to your chest, unsure if this a moment where you should hug him.
"I'm glad." He nods. You put the bag back in it's bag, gazing into his eyes. You're both almost hypnotized by each other as your bodies get closer.
"Levi," You breath, almost feeling his nose on yours.
"Mm?" He whispers as he presses his hand to your hip.
"I thought you said no affection outside of the bedroom." Your big, doe eyes land on his.
"Today we can ignore that rule." He gently takes the bag from you as he pulls your body into his. His hand trails to your ass, giving it a squeeze as his face leans into yours.
Your lips touch and it feels like a fire has been lit inside of you. This isn't a frenzied kiss, nor is it a peck. Levi moves his lips with purpose, taking care of every inch of your mouth. He squeezes your ass again, massaging it gently after. You wrap your arms around his neck, fully letting yourself fall into him. He pulls away gently, kissing your lips, nose, cheek, and forehead before turning to be on your side.
You still feel the ghost of his kiss on your lips and you know you want, no need to feel that sensation again. Your core is already feeling needy as he takes your hand and laces his fingers with yours.
Levi leans down to your ear, pressing his lips against the shell of your ear. "You knew what you were doing with that sundress, hm?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." You giggle, pressing your hand to his forearm.
"If we weren't in public I would be-"
"Would be what?" You turn to him, pulling a hair behind your other ear. "Tell me what you want to do to me." You whisper, letting your lips hover against his as you turn to him.
"New rule." Levi pulled your hand as he started walking. "No dirty talk in public." He cleared his throat.
"Why?" You pick up your face as you look down and see exactly why that new rule has been enacted.
#levi ackerman#levi ackerman x reader#levi x reader#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi ackerman fanfic#levi ackerman smut#attack on titan#aot#levi ackerman attack on titan#levi ackerman x you#levi x you#ceo levi ackerman
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Coming home at the end of the day is the hardest part.
Having her not be there. Being alone. Wanting something as simple as just the ability to hug her.
I dreamt we were in the old house last night, in the kitchen. I was confronting her about her not seeing doctors the way she said she would, something I only learned after she passed.... As if my dream was giving me a do-over and a chance to fix it. Except it couldn't.
Everything hurts so much.
I need her and she is not here. Supposedly, emotionally/spiritually still here, even if not physically.
But I haven't had dreams that are healing. And I don't have her ability to see auras as a physical shape/color/presence, and even spirits, at times. I FEEL presences but haven't seen them necessarily yet...okay, some dark shapes but fainter than she saw them, and none with colors, yet. Not sure I've ever seen spirits in a human-looking form. (When I was a teenager I saw a guy walking by a local bar, and just keep walking til he walked straight through a wall, but I saw this from a block away, so....)
If she really is with me, as some people have stated they believe, then I wish I could see her. It would at least be something, even if it was all I had. Fuck.
She had a male spirit follow her, a neutral/okay guy (nothing bad) who had been with her and her roommate since college. He would spend time visiting the one of them, then go to the other. Tracey I believe, and I forget his name, damn it. But he was here with us as recently as the hotel/s, and maybe in this apartment, I don't remember? She would see him. She recounted the first time she saw him. She thought it was her roommate putting back a beer, until she realized it was some random man standing there...and the beer just went through him.... She flipped out. He stayed ever since. lol. I believe he watches/watched out for her, maybe will for me. I don't know.
She said that it took her time to develop these abilities. Or rather, for it to "happen to/for her" and that "it will for you, don't worry."
Not sure she's taking into account that some substances can sort of "open" up the visual ability to see things already there, and all the LSD in her college years lol.... Something I will never try, and we discussed it, because if just weed almost broke my shit down, no way would I be safe on LSD from becoming one of the permanent-tripper nuts who get messed up by it, for real. So I don't know what could "open" that ability, for me.
Just...ugh.
Don't trust random people or groups who claim to have the answer. They're all trying to sell you something, use you, screw you, whatever. So however these answers come to me, it will have to be "between me and God" so to speak. Humans are fucked up at worst, fallible at best.
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42.
Do you ever worry about your future? (i.e.: college, marriage, kids, etc)
Well I can't say it doesn't happen, but it's not really worrying about marriage and kids because I know deep in my soul that these things just aren't for me. Whenever I try to imagine myself in those roles, I want to jump out of my skin, so no, I'm pretty sure that's out of the picture. Still, I do worry about whether people around me can accept me the way I am and whether everyone will move on and build their own families, leaving me utterly alone. Now those are the worries that keep me up at night.
Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy?
Usually we do. And yes, my mum is sometimes ridiculously tidy.
What’s your least favorite chore to do around the house? Do you have to do this often?
Cleaning the kitchen or bathroom sink or the shower drain for sure. I used to hate dishes, but I have a dishwasher now, and tbh, this is much much worse.
If you went to your mom/dad or whoever you live with and said “hey, I’ll clean the whole house if you give me 20 bucks” would they go for it? Would you raise the price?
I don't think my sister would go for it because: 1) she doesn't earn her own money yet and 2) why the fuck would she accept when I do it for free anyway
Are you usually late, early or right on time?
Usually a bit early, though it really depends on the traffic.
If you wrote a journal entry about your last date, what would it say?
I don't write journal entries.
On a scale of 1 to 5 how organized are you?
I think I come across as much more organized than I actually am tbh. So I don't really know. Maybe like 2.5 or 3.
Name a movie you can watch over and over again and not be bored with?
Let's say Mean Girls.
Do you wear pajamas to places other than at your house?
Well yeah, if I travel somewhere and stay at an apartment or a hotel.
Do you take showers in the morning or at night more?
In the evening usually.
What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
It's just a white Samsung theme with a little cartoon cat.
Do you still have your tonsils?
Yup.
What is the worst thing someone has ever done to you?
It's hard to remember the specifics since I'm currently in a pretty good mood and would rather not ruin it by reminiscing about the people that have wronged me in the past lol
Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public?
Not since I was a very small child.
Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep?
I think I sleep like a corpse most of the time. Like, sounds do wake me up, but when it's quiet, I don't move an inch.
Why aren’t you with the person you love?
I don't love anyone romantically. Otherwise, I am with a bunch of people that I love.
Could you go out in public looking like you do now?\
I mean, I'm a bit of a mess but sure.
Do you like the rain?
Yes, sometimes it fits the mood.
What is your mom listed under in your phone?
I listed her as "mother" in Japanese because I don't want to forget how to write it.
Do you like going to the dentist?
I do actually. I'm a bit of a minority in this, but I find all those medical procedures and checkups kind of interesting. Like, I doubt I'd enjoy if anything was seriously wrong with me, but when it's these small things, I really don't mind.
Are you afraid of speaking to large audiences?
Yes. I'm afraid of speaking to small audiences too.
Are you afraid to tell the truth sometimes?
All the time.
What’s one quality about yourself that you feel sets you back but also helps you?
Uhhh, well sometimes I feel like my natural tendency to question everything might be it. Of course that's good, but it also makes me not really trust anyone, you know? Like, I have friends that I've known for over a decade and I still sometimes question their words and motives, which kind of sucks on my part.
Was anyone who had been in your company today in a bad mood?
I haven't been in anyone's company yet.
The last time you felt sick what exactly was wrong?
I don't remember the last time that happened.
What did you do today?
Got up, had my usual standup call, did some research for the next article, wrote like 10 words then gave up because I already met my quota for this month and it's Friday. Maybe I'll just catch up on Sunday, or maybe I won't even bother.
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somehow. I'm going through a tiny Helluva Boss phase. this is partly brought on by catchy songs and relatably traumatized and shitty protagonists.
luckily I haven't fucked up my life so bad that I'm literally in hell but damn if the attachment issues and inability to believe anyone could ever actually care about you so you drive people away in a panic by becoming the worst version of yourself isn't at least some degree of relatable.
Fuck you Blitzo. you're not supposed to be a highly exaggerated for a dark comedy but still extremely relatable character, you stupid bastard.
also why's everyone gotta talk shit about Millie when she's literally amazing? Like yes she's less traumatized and has less of the focus than Moxie, Blitzo and Luna causing her to kinda play the muscle in a lot of scenes but like. She carries her weight with Character instead of Backstory. She's a loving wife and stone cold killer and a sweet southern darling, she's practical in a lot of ways, but has a kinda childish glee for other things, but is a "sturdy bitch" when it comes to hard work. She's a country gal with a good work ethic and fierce loyalty and she can and will commit some hardcore murder despite not having anything fancy or *special* about her. She's not magically gifted, she doesn't have a sugar daddy or mama who gives her special magic gifts, she isn't from a secret lineage of special demons, she's just a really hard working murder machine. She takes a lickin' and keeps on kickin'. She's a fuckin' tank. That's a fuckin' country gal.
I've seen it said that Helluva Boss is gonna be the more Male Lead show compared to Hazbin Hotel which is intended to be more Female Lead, so Millie taking more of a backseat I don't think is intended to degrade her, it's because she's already a force of nature, and Helluva a Boss has like.. 16 episodes so far and is an indie project spread out over like... multiple years while Hazbin has been funded by Prime. I don't know the details man. I feel like when people are like "I want complex representation" and then it's like.... something that is complex and weird and takes time they suddenly don't actually want complex representation anymore.
I get that the creator probably is too defensive or handles publicity badly, but if I was getting harassed all day every day by tweens with no media literacy my the millions because like. demons speak sign language. I would probably also have bad patience and an inability to tell what's good humour and what's part of the mob.
like they're trying to cancel her for having a pinup of her trans woman character "with prominent bulge" which is "soooooo problematic" and then it turns out that it's something the voice actress asked for because it's about body positivity and acceptance that it's not a part of her body she needs to hide. like. literally just people throwing a tantrum because the trans woman has a dick, and they feel uncomfortable about it???? okay. cool. please tell me how you can handle complex representation that isn't spoon fed to you like a tiny baby...
idk. I'm not super super into it ride or die, but also it is reminding me of a lot of the stuff I really loved when I was younger so I'm like. vibing. but the amount of controversy about nothing is like. disheartening. like really? we're tearing each other apart over this? that's too much...
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17. ‘I know you still love me’ Part 2 — Max Verstappen X Reader.
Max's POV.
"I'm done with this shit now." I say, throwing my hands up, walking to the bedroom to get my things.
"You cannot accuse me of that kind of stuff Max to just say you're done." I heard Y/n shout. I grab a bag from the top of the wardrobe and start throwing clothes into it, in hopes I get out of this apartment before she follows me in here with some bullshit excuse.
"What are you doing?" I look at her, she looks angry, frustrated even. But not upset.
"What does it look like Y/n? I'm done, I'm going."
"Going where, what are you on about Max? And you say I overreact?"
I roll my eyes as I continue grabbing things, going to and from the bedroom and bathroom to get everything I'd need for a couple days alone. Where am I going to go? Anywhere but here. Y/n continues to scream at me but she doesn't stop me.
"He's my boss Max, you cannot be serious!"
"It doesn't fucking look like that to me
Y/n!" I shout back, getting more impatient with the fact she can't see my point.
"You've pushed me so far over the line of tolerating this shit that I can't even see the line!"
"Tolerating what!? What are you on about Max?"
"This okay ! Us ! I never see you anymore, you can't be bothered to give me the time of day and I'm done watching you parade around other guys when you won't give me a second look. Enjoy your nice job and whoever it is this week that has caught your eye." I zip my bag up, throwing it over my shoulder as I head towards the door, grabbing my keys off the hook as she runs after me with even more bullshit excuses.
"Please don't go Max, we need to talk about this!"
"We're done." I simply say, slamming the door behind me as I head to my car.
I drive to a hotel not too far from our apartment, still annoyed she won't be straight up with me. Why else would she give so much of her attention to that guy. Is that why she's so distant? Or why she puts off coming to my races ? Because I'm taking her away from him?
My skin crawls at the thought of another man touching her, doing the things to her that only I should do.
"Mr. Verstappen! Room for two?" The girl behind the counter says. The worst thing about Monaco is everyone knowing my business. Y/n and I have stayed here a few times whilst getting things done to the apartment, moving in with her feels like a lifetime ago but also feels like yesterday.
"For one." I bluntly say. She can clearly see I'm alone. I check in for a few nights which will give me enough time to clear my head. I grab the key card and find my room. Throwing my bag on the floor, I sit on the edge of the bed, four years together and she does this to me. After everything I've done for her, everything we've been through.
I flick through the channels on the small tv, moving up the bed to lean against the large headboard. I find myself watching whatever wasn't the news or football but all I can think of is her. Should I have left? Should I go back to her and apologise? Did I really over react? I can't throw away four years of my life, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I've fucked it now. Unless I go back.. no. She's cheated on me. She's been sleeping around behind my back, probably in my bed with another fucking guy.
'He's my boss!' Is he fuck. That's probably how she got her new job anyway.
_____
Four days have gone by, they say you go through different stages of emotion after a breakup. The angers done, hello sadness. Y/n always said I was a jealous person, and maybe I am. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I jumped to conclusions like I always fucking do. I wonder what she's doing right now, why hasn't she called me? She was begging me not to go but she left me as soon as I walked out that door. Just like I left her.
I'm being stupid now, just call her. Just call her and tell her you love her and you're sorry. I grab my phone off of the charger and navigate to her number, just as I'm about to press on her name I'm interrupted by a knock on the door.
Y/n? No it can't be. She doesn't know where I am, unless I'm that predictable?
"Hey." She says as I open the door. She's standing there awkwardly as I realise I'm just staring at her, having not yet said a word.
"Kelly? What are you doing here?" I ask. She's in a white t shirt, some leather shorts and boots. She hasn't necessarily dressed up, but she looks good.
"Can I come in?" I nod as I open the door a bit wider, letting her slip through while I let the door shut, picking up some clothes which scattered the floor.
"I heard about you and Y/n." How the fuck-
"Did you break up with her for me?" She asked as she sat on the edge of my bed.
I'm not with Y/n anymore. But I want her back. But she cheated on me.. I think? Fuck. I've got a beautiful girl that I walked out on sat at home, yet I've got another beautiful girl fluttering her eyelashes at me sat on the end of my bed.
"No Kelly, not for you." I simply say. I don't move, I stay standing in front of her as she looks up at me through her eyelashes. Her hands are behind her as she leans back to look at me more clearly.
"What we've had has been fun. Sneaking around each race. Boring when you bought her along though, you made it harder for me to get you alone."
Kelly and I had been somewhat seeing each other for a couple months. Never anything serious, but when Y/n got that job Kelly was just a shoulder to cry on, that evolved quite quickly and soon enough I couldn't keep my hands off of her. Y/n was going behind my back so I guess I did the same.
"It's got to stop now Kelly, I shouldn't have left Y/n, I'm going back home tonight-"
"Tonight?" She pouts. She's acting ridiculous, so why am I falling for it.
"You don't want one more night?" She rubs her hand up and down my arm, not breaking eye contact. She's always been intense, I suppose she's always been a challenge.
"Come out tonight. Me and my friends are going to that new club that opened. You deserve some fun after the few days you've had." Just because I go for a night out doesn't mean I have to do anything. I can go out tonight to clear my head and think things through before going home to Y/n tomorrow.
I nodded, quickly putting on a blue shirt over my white t shirt.
We got to the club and it wasn't long before I was drunk. My brain is fuzzy with thoughts of Y/n cheating on me, or not cheating on me. Kelly coming to my hotel room, I still don't know who told her about me and Y/n, nor do I know how she found where I was staying. She goes after what she wants, and when it's me she wants, it's exciting. But do I want her? Fuck I need another drink.
The club is booming with loud music, Kelly and her friends are dancing while I'm waiting at the bar to get served. What am I doing here. I've spent all day moping around for Y/n and I've come here with the girl she's already suspicious of. If she found out I'm here with Kelly then she'll know what I've been doing. I finally order another drink, I'll leave after this one. Maybe if I stay here at the bar Kelly won't realise I've gone back to my hotel room.
"You're missing all the fun!" I heard from behind me.
"I'm having fun over here." I say as I take a sip of my drink.
"You can't be because you're not dancing with me." Kelly said as she takes my hand and leads me back over to the dance floor. Y/n always tried to get me to dance with her at clubs and I never did.
'I can't dance!' I'd tell her and it's true. So why is it so much easier to have a good time with Kelly.
Drink after drink after drink and the thought of Y/n once again just makes me angry.
"Fuck her!" I shout over the music when Kelly asks about her.
"Actually I'm sure John's fucking her right now!" I say, nearly losing my balance and falling. Kelly laughs and I put my arm around her, her friends dancing and singing along to whatever song is playing now as we attempt to do the same.
"Let's get a photo!" One of Kelly's friends shout. I forgot her name as soon as she introduced herself to me. She asks some guy to take a photo of us all, passing him her phone as we all huddle together. I grab Kelly's waist from behind, almost leaning over her as we pose for the photo. Once the photo was taken Kelly's annoying friend wouldn't shut up about how much she loves the song that was playing. Everything's annoying me a little too much tonight, apart from Kelly.
"Let's get another drink." She says in my ear, the loud music making her having to shout a little bit. She begins to walk away but I grab her arm, pulling her back towards me as I kiss her. She runs her fingers through my hair, pulling me in just a little bit closer as she deepens the kiss.
"Let's go back to my room" I say, as she nods. I grab her hand as I lead us through the crowd of bodies, quickly making it back to my room.
My lips were on hers in a matter of seconds, slamming the door shut and ripping off each other's clothes. She's desperate for me and I'm just as bad, quickly laying her down on the bed as I climb on top of her.
___________________
"That was the last time." I say as I try to find my clothes from the night before. The bright lights hurting my eyes, I wince at the pounding in my head and I can't tell if it's the hangover or severe guilt.
"You said that last time." Kelly said, still laying in my bed not bothering to move.
"I mean it. Last night was a mistake. I shouldn't have gone to that club, I shouldn't have kissed you and I sure as hell shouldn't have fucked you!" I say, getting more frustrated at how smug she looks.
"You want her back don't you?" She simply asks, as if the answer wasn't obvious.
"Because you didn't last night." Fuck she's annoying, I can only take her in small doses and clearly 12 hours of her is too much.
"Please just go Kelly, like I said this was a mistake. It was from the start, okay? I need to go back home and talk things through with Y/n." I say, trying to find her clothes for her since she still hasn't moved.
"Oh she won't take you back." She smiled. Kelly's not a spiteful person, when we first started doing whatever this is, she said it'd never get back to Y/n, and I believe her. She's not the type of girl to tell Y/n what we've done.
"What?"
"You should be careful of who you take photos with Maxie, because it's already in the tabloids." That annoying bitch from last night and her fucking photos. Kelly grabs her clothes as well as hugging the duvet close to her body as she walks into the bathroom.
I frantically grab my phone, typing my name into the browser to see Kelly and I plastered everywhere.
'Max's new girl!'
'All over for Max and Y/n?'
'Max's mystery girl!'
How the fuck am I going to get myself out of this one?
Kelly finally leaves, explaining she'd never tell Y/n about what's been going on, but the photo speaks a thousand words. I was too drunk to think of the repercussions of this one fucking photo.
______
9 days without Y/n. 9 days. I've been angry, I've been sad, I've been guilty and now I'm back to sad. I'm angry at myself, sad I've lost the best thing that's ever happened to me and guilty for accusing Y/n of exactly what I was doing behind her back. I've spent everyday after Kelly, sat in a hotel room alone crying to myself at the thought of every possible outcome. The thought of telling Y/n the entire truth. The thought of her not wanting me back. The thought of how bad I know I'm going to break her if she found out the truth. She couldn't hate me more than I hate myself.
I decide to go back home, knowing I need to try and save what we had. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, I can't throw away four years with her and I can't let her either.
I leave the hotel making the short drive back to our apartment. I look awful and a part of me is hoping Y/n looks somewhat awful too. Has she missed me ? Is she over me ? I still don't understand why she never called or texted.
I don't know whether to knock or let myself in. She might not even be in. I grab my keys and unlock the door, seeing her standing at the end of the hallway.
"Y/n." I say. I'm not sure whether I'm surprised she's home or relieved. Her hair is messy, she's in pyjama shorts and one of my shirts. I wonder if she's been wearing my clothes the whole time I was gone.
"We need to talk, I mean uh, can we talk? Should I have knocked ? I don't really know what to do." I stumble my words, not wanting to look directly at her but I have no where else to look. We still haven't gotten around to putting our photos up on this blank wall.
"This is your apartment as much as it is mine." Y/n mumbled as she walked towards the couch, I followed her into the living room as she tried to tidy up some of the mess that was on the floor.
"Listen, I- well I- I suppose I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry Y/n." I began. I take a seat on the couch next to her, Y/n's eyebrows are furrowed as she looks back at me.
"You walked out on me. Literally." She said, I already know she's trying not to cry which cuts me up as deep as it cuts her.
"I know I did and I feel horrible. It's been nine days without you and they've been hell, I was having a shit time racing and I felt like I was having a shit time here, I just wanted out. But I've just made things worse-"
"Wait, wait, wait. So you were having a shit time with me so you break up with me, go out with you're friends, have a good few nights and now.. you're back?" Y/n's tone was cold, sharp almost. She's seen the photo.
"What?" I ask, not wanting to give myself up.
"I've seen the pictures." Fuck. Y/n pulled up the article on her phone showing it to me. My heart sank, all I can hope is she remembers what I've always told her. The media twist things, it's not all true.
I've fucked up big time.
"Y/n, it's not what it looks like." Y/n rolled her eyes as she let out a dry laugh, I'm going to end up digging myself a deeper hole here, but I want her back. I need her.
"I've been miserable, I know how it looks. I know it looks like I've left you to go out with her without any repercussions but it wasn't like that. Some of the guys thought I needed some sort of a pick me up and came up with the idea of going out-"
"Did you sleep with her?" Fuck, fuck, fuck.
"Fuck Y/n! No! Of course I didn't fucking sleep with her !" I exclaim, hoping she believes my lie through my guilt. She looks as heartbroken as I am. Heartbroken that she could tell me to walk out that door and never come back, heartbroken that I already walked out on the only constant thing in my life.
"I was mad at first. Mad that all you'd do is call that John guy, email John, talk about this fucking John and wouldn't pay attention to how I was. I didn't even make the podium Y/n and all you could say was you were busy emailing fucking John!" I could feel my anger rising, the anger I felt nine days ago which sparked this whole thing. I still don't know whether I was over reacting or if it's true.
"He's my boss Max. I have to speak to him." I was over reacting. I lean closer to Y/n, about to tell her somewhat a part of my truth.
"I got jealous okay. Jealous you'd talk to him all the time. I spent three days in a hotel room mad at you, mad at myself too. The fourth day I was just upset, thinking about you, and him and, fuck! It got the better of me. I hated it Y/n. Just the thought of it." I began. She's looking back at me, her brows are still furrowed as she listens to every word that comes out.
"The guys came to see me and somehow convinced me to go out, I didn't know she'd be there I swear."
'You don't want one more night?' Plays through my head. The thought of Kelly sat on the edge of my bed now just sends a shiver down my spine.
"We went to a club and after a few drinks I didn't feel sad or angry anymore, I didn't really feel anything. Then she showed up and decided to join us with some of her friends and we got talking, she asked how you were and I told her we were over." I need to save this somehow before I give too much away. I need to tell her how much I love her, how much I need her by my side.
"I don't know why I told her that, I guess we were, well are, but I don't want this to end Y/n-"
"What else happened?" She cut me off. Does she know what else happened?
"I'd had a drink, I was with the guys and I thought I'd lost you. You didn't even call me Y/n. No call, no text-"
"What else happened?" She said again.
Maybe I should just come clean.
"I was with her, we were talking and we kissed. She thought it'd be a good idea to go back to my hotel so we did." Y/n stays silent, I can see her try to frantically blink away the tears coming to her eyes.
"We got back to my room, but I couldn't do it Y/n. All I could think about was you, I pushed her off of me and told her to leave and she did." That's what I wish had happened. That's what should have happened.
"So you went out, was with her all night, took her back to your hotel to sleep with her but backed out at the last second? The girl that was always 'just a friend?' She's the person you went running to !? I can't believe this." Y/n stood up and walked towards the kitchen, I follow her to see her back facing towards me.
"That was day four, right? So if you were so upset why did it take you another five to come back?" Because I'm full of regret and guilt.
"I needed time Y/n."
"What, to work out if you wanted me or her?" Y/n spat as she turned around to face me. Fuck.
"No Y/n, fuck! To think about what's best for me and she was never in those thoughts. Just you. I got in my head so much about you and your boss that it kept me away, today I guess I had to just come here and find out what we are now.."
"We're broken up." Those were the words that I was scared of. The words that've gone through me and shattered every ounce of me.
"Please give me another chance Y/n, listen, I was wrong okay. I was wrong to let jealousy overtake me, I was wrong to not just speak to you about what was going on in my head.-"
"You were wrong to kiss her." And I was wrong to sleep with her.
"John is my boss. That's it. Line drawn. How many times have I asked you about her? How many times have you told me to stop being paranoid ? That she's just a friend. That you love me?"
"- I do love you. Y/n, fuck you know I do, and I know you still love me."
"These nine days have been horrible for me too Max. You've hurt me so bad, giving up on us so quickly and easily. I've hardly eaten, I've hardly slept, I haven't left this apartment once because you've broken me Max. Of course I'm still in love with you." Thank god, thank fuck! I take a step closer towards her before she continues.
"But the difference is when I was sat here heartbroken, I didn't go out and nearly fuck John. I can't trust you Max. I can't trust that you're not going to leave again, or you're not going to get mad and kiss someone else again." How can I do this to Y/n. After everything we've been through I become a jealous excuse of a man and break her in the worst way possible.
"Please give me another chance Y/n, I can't do this without you. I'm so fucking sorry, I can change, I'm never going anywhere again, I've seen what it's like and I fucking hate it, I'm here now aren't I? I'm fighting for you, I'm fighting for us." I am, I really am. Fuck Kelly, fuck everyone else. I just need Y/n.
"Then you need to fight harder."
"I will, baby I will-"
"Please don't call me that." She finally breaks, tears begin streaming down her face as I slowly walk towards her, this time she lets me, as I wipe the tears from her face.
"I'm so sorry. You don't understand how sorry I am, and I'll prove it to you, even if we have to start all over again. Let me prove to you how much you mean to me, how much I need you Y/n, because I do. And it's taken this fucked up situation to prove that to me."
"Prove it to me? How are you going to do that?" She asks, looking up at me as my hands are still gently on either side of her face.
"You'll see."
***********************
Part 3
#max verstappen#f1#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 one shot#max verstappen x you#max verstappen y/n#f1 imagine
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bet pt. 2
fem!reader x adam cole
Reader and Adam come face to face after six months apart at Survivor Series ... “please, forgive me”
word count: 3.4k+
warnings: smut, angst, a lil bit fluffy
— hey hey, here’s part 2 of the short adam cole series .... on a side note, i’ve really been in the holiday spirit so i’ve started writing some christmas / fluffmas imagines ... the first two are scheduled to be posted december 1st and 2nd —
masterlist || part 1 || request an imagine here
~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~
Survivor Series. The day you've been dreading for six months since you left Adam.
Six months ago, you walked out on the best and the worst thing that's ever happened to you. Six months ago, you lost a piece of yourself and turned to sleeping with your best friend, Tyler Breeze, just to fill that void.
But it's not filled. It'll never be filled. So you stopped about a month ago, and Tyler now has a girlfriend so nothing's weird between you two.
You've never gone back to Adam. It's taken everything in you to stay away from him. You've barely spoken to him in six months, but since he's NXT Champion and you're Raw Women's Champion, you both have matches at Survivor Series.
You sit in your dressing room, scared to leave. Scared to run into Adam or one of the Undisputed Era boys. It's your worst nightmare.
"Y/N! You're on in five minutes!" someone calls through your door.
Sighing, you get up and grab your title, throwing it over your shoulder. With your anxiety rising, you leave the room.
You don't know what you'll do if you see Adam. It's been so long and he's probably moved on. You haven't, but you've tried.
Once backstage, you stretch out. Your opponents, Smackdown Women's Champion Sasha Banks and NXT Women's Champion Io Shirai, into the small room.
"Hey, girlie," Sasha says. "You have an audience in catering."
You sigh and say, "If it's Adam then I don't care."
Sasha says, "Y/N, come on. I've told you before. That man is head over heels for you. Maybe the beginning was a lie or a bet or whatever it was but he truly loved you. I saw it. We all did."
Your music hits and you say, "I can't talk about this right now, Sasha. I have a match to focus on."
You make your entrance, forcing a smile onto your face as you step into the ring.
****
Adam's POV
She looks beautiful in her dark red gear. It's my favorite ring gear that she owns. It sparkles but is dark at the same time. Definitely her two personalities mixing together.
I miss her like hell. I haven't been able to move on from her. It's been six months and I'm still infatuated with her. I love her. I've loved her for so long. It pains me to see her. Rumor has it that she's seeing her friend, Tyler.
I stand in catering to watch her as the match begins. My match is next and I know they'll call me back any minute and I'll come face-to-face with her when she walks through those curtains.
She's distracted by something. Her footing is off and she's not selling moves like she usually does. Maybe Sasha told her she saw me in catering. I told her I was going to watch Y/N here on the TV.
"Yo, Cole," Kyle says, clapping me on the back. "Your match with Drew and Roman is next. Let's head backstage."
I say, "Yeah, okay." I leave the TV and walk backstage with Kyle, Roddy, and Bobby.
We get backstage and I see there is a TV. I watch it.
Roderick says, "Talk to her after your match. I know that you've been wanting to talk to her."
I sigh and say, "She doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't even want to see me, Roddy. There's no point."
Bobby says, "You should still try instead of sulking."
I look over at Bobby and say, "She left me, Bobby. If she wanted to talk to me then she would have already." I'm starting to get heated.
Kyle says, "Adam, bro, calm down."
"You want me to calm down? Seriously?" I say, my voice rising. "You three are the reason I'm in this mess. You three came up with the bet and I accepted it because I was drunk and secretly was crushing on Y/N. I never should have accepted it because I fell in love with her and now she's fucking gone! I can't live without her, and the only reason I'm still in this damn company is because of the title around my waist. There's nothing else for me here because she's gone!"
What I didn't know was that Y/N's match ended and she came through the curtains in the backstage area with Sasha and Io. The guys were all looking behind me and that's when I realized she was standing right behind me, listening to every word.
****
Your POV
As you walk backstage, you can hear someone shouting.
"... I was drunk and secretly was crushing on Y/N. I never should have accepted it because I fell in love with her and now she's fucking gone! I can't live without her, and the only reason I'm still in this damn company is because of the title around my waist. There's nothing else for me here because she's gone!"
The voice is Adam's. He's shouting at the guys. You've never once heard him raise his voice at anyone, not unless it was important or serious.
You stand backstage with Sasha when Adam turns around and he sees you. His title is secured around his waist and he's wearing his black and gold gear with his Undisputed Era t-shirt.
There's nothing else for me here because she's gone. Those words stuck with you. If it wasn't for that title around his waist, he probably would have left WWE and gone to work with Ring of Honor again or maybe even AEW.
Drew McIntyre and Roman Reigns come backstage at this moment. The tension between everyone in the room is thick. Drew and Roman realize this and ask to make their entrances first.
Right before Adam makes his entrance, you rush out of the backstage room. Sasha right on your heels.
Tears have started running down your cheeks. You get to your locker room and throw your title on the couch.
Your win tonight means nothing anymore. It doesn't matter that you won. Your happiness was swept away when you heard Adam ranting to the guys about you. Six months later and he's still trying to defend his lies.
He'd have left WWE if it wasn't for that title he's managed to hold for two and a half years. It's the only reason he's still in WWE.
You start to throw things around the locker room. You're upset, you're angry, and most of all, you're frustrated. Even after finding out about the bet and after he lied to get you to sleep with him, you still love him. Six months later you still love him. After everything, you'd go back to him.
Sasha grabs your wrists and says, "Y/N. Y/N, stop it. Please. Before you hurt yourself or break something super expensive."
You look at your best friend and cry, "Why do I still love him even after he lied to me? Why would I drop everything and go back to him if he asked me to? Why would I take him back?"
"Because deep down you know that he never lied to you," Sasha says. "You know that he actually loves you and it wasn't for some stupid bet he made with his friends. Love is crazy and makes us do crazy things."
You sniff and wipe away your tears. "Can we get out of here? I don't want to be here when his match is done because I know he'll want to come looking for me," you ask.
Sasha nods and says, "Of course. Get changed and we'll head back to the hotel."
You nod and change out of your ring gear and into your street clothes. You let Sasha borrow some extra clothes you had so the two of you can leave as soon as you're changed.
****
Back in the safety of your hotel room, you order room service and watch Grey's Anatomy on Netflix as you lay in bed.
There's a knock on your door at around midnight. You think it's Sasha coming to return the clothes she borrowed earlier so you answer the door.
It's not Sasha at your door. It's Adam Cole.
"What?" you ask. "It's late."
Adam says, "I looked for you after my match. I wanted to talk about what you heard."
You say, "I don't blame you for wanting to leave WWE since I left. I'd want to do the same thing if I was you."
He says, "I tried to leave the company. A few weeks after you left, I went to Regal and Triple H to get them to let me go. I was ready to drop my title just to leave the company but they convinced me to stay."
You look at Adam as he talks. This is going to be a long conversation so once he's done talking, you say, "Come inside, Adam. We can keep talking inside." You move to the side and he walks inside.
Closing the door, Adam says, "I get why you left. I lied to you a few times at the start but within two weeks, I called off the bet."
"Adam," you say.
He shakes his head and he says, "Let me explain."
You sit on the bed and look at him. "So explain," you say.
Adam walks and stands in front of you. He says, "The night of the bet, the four of us got drunk. We drank a lot and we started talking about relationships. I mentioned to them that I had a little thing for you and that's when Bobby came up with the bet. He said that there was no way that I'd be able to get you into bed. Kyle and Roddy joined his side. I accepted the bet because I was drunk and liked you for some time. I was the only single guy in the Undisputed Era. But, like the dumbass I am, I took it a step further and started a relationship. Two weeks after the relationship started, I completely called off the bet because you meant so much more to me than a stupid bet."
You say, "Being drunk doesn't excuse you from accepting it. It won't work on me."
He says, "I'm not done yet. After the bet ended, I told myself that I'd never tell you about it because of this happening with us. You getting mad and leaving. I'd never choose my career over you because I know in the long run, you'd always be there for me. Wrestling is something I'll do until I'm fifty or so but there's nothing for me after that until I met you. Then I messed everything up. You're even seeing someone else right now so I don't expect you to come back to me."
You sit and listen to every word. Once he's done talking, you say something. "I'm not seeing anyone right now. I've been single for the past six months, But if I asked you to retire right now, you'd do it?" you ask, testing him.
Adam nods and says, "Yes, I would. You mean more to me than a bet or than wrestling. I love you, even after all this time. Please, forgive me."
You sigh, "I have forgiven you, Adam. For the most part. I just can't forget what happened and what you said to me that day. You lied to me just to get me in bed. You lied to start a relationship with me. All you had to do was say, 'hey, Y/N. I like you and I'd like to take you out on a date' because I would have said yes. I liked you for so long, Adam. All you had to do ask me out."
He looks down at you and he says, "You don't have to forget because we can both grow from what happened. I'm a dumbass, I know. I was just nervous and in a way, the bet made me talk to you. I just want to make it up to you, Y/N. Let me make it up to you. Let me take you on that date. A real first date."
You look up at Adam and say, "I don't know. I don't fully trust you, Adam."
Adam tucks a piece of loose hair behind your ear and he says, "I can make it up to you, Y/N. Let me at least try. I've learned from this and I want to show you that I've learned from this."
Your heart pounds in your chest as he touches you for the first time in six months. Without knowing it, you lean into his touch and close your eyes.
His hands rest on your cheeks for a second before he pulls you up so you're standing in front of him. You look up at Adam. "I'll think about it," you say, finally reply to what he said.
You feel Adam's hands leave your cheeks and slide to your waist. He pulls you closer to him. You're eye level with his chest before you look up at him with your eyes, meeting his pretty blue orbs.
"Can I start right now?" Adam asks as he starts to lean into you. You grab a fistful of his shirt, not knowing if you should back away or not.
Your lips brush against Adam's and you say, "I still need some time."
His lips move down to your neck and you gasp softly, tilting your head back a bit. Adam mumbles, "I need to make it up to you, Y/N." He starts to kiss your neck gently. Your hands slide into his hair as he picks you up by your thighs. You wrap your legs around his waist.
Sighing as he kisses your neck, you give in and say, "God, make it up to me, Adam. Make it up to me all night if you want to. I need you."
You look down at Adam and he looks up at you, pulling away from your neck. He kisses you hungrily. Your lips move feverishly against his, both of you letting out soft moans into the kiss.
He lays you down on the bed and hovers over you, not breaking the kiss. He grinds his bulge against your clothed core. You moan into the kiss, reaching down and pulling Adam's shirt up over his head. That breaks the kiss momentarily but your lips connect again like magnets right after.
The passionate kiss becomes more intense when Adam slips his tongue into your mouth. His fingers dip into the waistband of your sweatpants, rubbing you slightly over your panties. You moan against his lips.
Adam's hands run up your body, slipping under the shirt you're wearing. He pushes up the shirt until his hands are on your breasts, massaging them. You gasp and moan, pulling back from the kiss. You lift your arms above your head so Adam can pull off your shirt. You never put on a bra when you got changed earlier.
He pushes up your shirt, kissing and sucking on your breasts. Your eyes close and you smile.
"You're so beautiful," Adam mumbles against the sensitive skin on your breasts. "I am so in love with you."
You sigh, "Less talking, Cole. More fucking."
Adam smirks and says, "With pleasure."
Within seconds, both your pants and Adam's pants are off with both your underwear. Adam hovers on top of you between your legs.
His lips are on yours, moving feverishly against yours. Your hands are on Adam's back, holding him close to you.
The tip of Adam's erect member runs through your wet folds, making you moan into the passionate kiss.
"Adam, baby," you mumble against his lips. "If you don't stop teasing me instead of fucking me, I'll walk out the door. I swear to God-" You're interrupted by Adam thrusting hard into you, making you cry out in pain and pleasure. Your fingernails dig into his back.
He has a smirk on his lips and says, "You were saying?"
You stare up at him and move your hips so he's completely inside of you. "You gonna do something or are you just gonna lay there?" you ask.
Adam positions himself above you so he thrusts into you. Slowly but deeply. His hips are already flush against yours as he pushes your legs up so they rest against his arms.
He's kissing your neck as he thrusts his hips into you. Every few seconds, his thrusts get faster and harder. Your fingers slide down his back, definitely leaving scratch marks.
The room is filled with your moans and the sound of skin slapping together. A layer of sweat has appeared on both your bodies. It's a little warm in the room.
Your moans get louder the harder he moves. Your hands eventually make their way into his hair, gripping it a little bit as he moves.
Adam lets out soft groans as he thrusts harder and deeper into you than he ever has. You throw your head back and pant, "God, I love you so much. I love this so much."
He smiles and starts to kiss your neck. His thumb rubs your very sensitive clit, making you almost scream out his name. "Fuck, Adam. Just like that," you cry out.
The bed begins to creak and hit the wall a bit when Adam picks up speed again. Your legs begin to shake and your walls clench around Adam.
Adam realizes how close you are and he says in your ear, "Come for me, baby. I want you to come around me like you always do."
You don't wait anymore. You release around Adam, crying out his name. He pulls out right before he comes, releasing his seed all over your core and stomach. His fingers help you ride out your high.
Adam collapses beside you, grabbing his shirt and wiping you down. You pant and stare up at the ceiling.
You think about the day you left and you close your eyes.
Maybe you overreacted a little bit by leaving. You never heard the whole story, until today. You never let him fully explain.
You let out a sigh and ask, "Do you really love me? Even after six months apart?" Your eyes open and you look over at Adam.
Adam looks over at you and says, "I was ready to love you forever. Of course I love you after six months apart."
"Do you have any other secrets you need to tell me?" you ask.
He shakes his head and says, "I'm a completely open book to you now. No more secrets, I promise."
You lean over and press a lingering kiss to his lips. After a few seconds, you answer the question he asked you six months ago right before you walked out the door.
"Then yes," you say, not pulling back very far from the kiss.
He tilts his head and asks, "Yes, what?"
You smile and say, "I'm answering the question you asked me six months ago before I left. Yes."
Adam thinks for a second before he finally gets it. He smiles wide and puts his hands on your cheeks, pulling you down for another kiss. You giggle against his lips.
He rolls onto you then gets off the bed. He fetches his jeans, pulling something out. "I've carried this with me everyday for six months, hoping that one day you'll accept it," Adam says, coming back to the bed.
In his hand is the same velvet black box that he held out to you six months ago and inside, the same diamond oval engagement ring he presented to you.
You smile as he pulls out the ring, sliding it onto your left ring finger.
Adam lightly kisses you and says, "That's my promise that I will not keep another secret from you, unless it's a secret to surprise you in a good way."
You giggle and look at your ex-boyfriend turned fiancé before you say, "The guys and Sasha will be so confused when I show up with a ring on my finger."
"Let's worry about that tomorrow," Adam says. "I still have a lot to make up for and it might take all night."
And with that, you spend all night having the best make up sex with Adam. You don't fall asleep until the sun has begun to rise.
#adam cole imagine#adam cole smut#adam cole angst#adam cole fluff#wrestling imagine#wrestling smut#wrestling fluff#wrestling angst#wwe imagine#wwe smut#wwe angst#wwe fluff#nxt imagine#nxt smut#nxt fluff#nxt angst#imagines#imagine#nswf imagine#smut#fluff#angst
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Memories - lrh (Chapter Eighteen)
Memories (also on Wattpad)
Chapter Seventeen ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ Chapter Nineteen
I remember the first time I really wanted to see New York. I must have been about 12 years old and was watching a random episode of Friends that was on TV. I saw those flashes of the city between one scene and another, and I thought it was amazing, the great stone jungle.
When I turned 16, my dad gifted me with a trip to New York, not because it was my favorite place in the world, but because it was on sale. There were 10 days where the only time I stopped to rest was bedtime. We went to almost every tourist spot, took thousands of photos and it was definitely one of the best trips I've ever been on.
Now, the city that I once wanted to know and live in, like the characters in Friends, felt like a prison. I wasn't there of my own free will or for a truly irrefutable proposal. I was there out of fear and passion, the most dangerous mixture.
I believe that at some point, a few months from now, I'm going to start loving New York, but right now, I can only feel contempt.
I pass through the arrivals gate, looking at those millions of unfamiliar faces, waiting for someone. I'm looking for a sign with my name or the logo of the Hastings Agency.
I find my name in the hands of a boy a little taller than me. Dark hair and fair skin, he needs sun. In an impeccable suit, but fumbling with his cell phone and notepad.
I approach slowly, able to hear his voice, replaying a million things. He said something about waiting for me to arrive and taking me to the hotel. Something about treating me kindly and not asking questions. I stop in front of him with a sympathetic smile, watching him widen his eyes and quickly turn off his cell phone.
“Miss McGonagall, welcome to New York.” he takes my hand, squeezing it and shaking it quickly. “I'm Edward. I will be responsible for your schedule.” I can't control the smile, noticing him nervousness. In other words, he was my Noah.
“Hi! Yeah, you can call me Marnie, that's fine. I prefer, actually.”
“Oh! Of course.” his cheeks turn pink. “Well, I'll drop you off at the hotel to rest and tomorrow at 8:00 am you should be at Valentino's studio for the rehearsal of the new bag collection. At 2:45 pm you should already be at Chanel's studio, they want to take your measurements and do some color and fabric tests for the fashion show at the end of the month. Then, at 5:00 pm, you will participate in the E! podcast, and I believe that after that you will be free for the rest of the day.” he passes it on to me as we head out of the airport.
“OK!” that's all I have to say.
“Sorry if I'm being nosy, but were you the one who required a lot of work for the next two months? I mean, you have a really busy schedule. If you don't want something, I can try to help.” he flips through the calendar while we wait for a car.
“No! It's OK. I was the one who asked. I was down for a while and I need to get back to work.” I give a slight smile, debating. "Hm, was the doctor I asked for by any chance be marked?"
“Yes! Wednesday at 3pm.” he smiles proudly, making me smile too. Edward seems like a nice guy.
We got into a silver car and went to the hotel. Along the way, Edward answers a few calls, closing in on his tasks. I seize the moment and close myself in my own world. I get my cell phone, turning it on and seeing that tsunami of people looking for me. Missed calls, messages, dm on twitter and instagram, everyone looking for me, but not him.
I lock my cell phone, trying to focus my mind on the new beginning I sought for myself. I admire the city through the car window, trying to find a piece of home there. I feel the phone vibrate in my lap with Kyleen's name, but I just decline the call. In seconds, the screen lights up again and several messages come in, I believe they are hers, but I don't even bother to look. I have no courage.
The car stops in front of the Intercontinental, and just like that, Edward jumps out of the car.
“Your loft, unfortunately, is not ready yet. So you're going to have to stay here for a few days.” he explains, heading towards the reception desk.
I stand behind him, taking in the details of the hotel. Before long, I'm entering a room on the 14th floor, with a beautiful view of the city. The bags are left in the small room before the bedroom.
I smile at my new “Noah” showing that everything is perfect.
“Good! I'll let you rest for tomorrow. Anything, these are my phones.” he gives me a card. "And you can call me at any time. I live near here, I will come in a few minutes.”
“Thank you so much, Edward. You are very kind." Again, your cheeks turn pink.
As he heads for the door, I start rummaging through my bags for pajamas.
“Hm, sorry if I'm not being professional right now, but since I believe we'll be working together in the next few months, I imagine a good relationship is essential, so you can call me Eddie.”
I open an even bigger smile, seeing that Eddie was willing to make a friendship, which is perhaps the thing I need most at the moment.
“Thanks, Eddie!” he smiles and this time he walks away, leaving me alone again.
I go back to looking for a more comfortable outfit, ignoring my cell phone blinking on the table as I muted it. I grab my clothes, heading to a shower and stay there for a long time, letting the water take everything.
When I get out of the shower, I pick up the bedroom phone, dialing my mother's number, I don't want to take the risk of answering any of my cell phone calls.
"Hello?" her lost tone makes me smile weakly.
“Hi Mom!”
“Hi, my love. How are you? Marnie, what's going on? Leah came here to say you left without saying goodbye. I called Luke, but he did not answer me and Noah said something about you being to move to New York, you told me it would be just a month.” I cover the phone, not wanting her to hear my cry, letting the tears fall. "Marnie?"
“I'm sorry, Mom.” I can't control my voice and pretend it's okay.
“Honey, what's going on? You can tell me. Mom will help you.” I realize she wants to cry too, and that hurts me more.
“I needed to do this, needed to get away from him.” the revelation comes out before I can see it.
"He who? Luke? Why? I thought everything was fine.” her desperate tone returns.
“I'm sorry I can't talk.” I close my throat, holding back tears. “I just want to let you know that I arrived well and that everything is fine.”
“Fine? Marnie, just look at your voice, your condition. I saw what you did to the apartment. Honey, things aren't fine.” now she was angry.
“Mom, please just trust me. I know what I'm doing.” Do I? I clear my throat, holding back the emotion. “I just wanted to call to say I got okay. Later we'll talk.” I hang up the phone before she asks anything else.
I head to the bathroom, drying my hair. I notice that yesterday's anger is still in me as I can't face my image in the mirror, refusing to look deep into my eyes.
With dry hair, I go back to my room, thinking about taking a nap, since I haven't slept all night and even less on the flight. I close my eyes, trying to focus my thoughts on something else. I think about that taxi I saw earlier, trying to park. Or people crossing the street without looking at the sign. At the cookie shop I want to see.
I manage to evade Luke's, my mother's, John's, and Noah's voices, giving myself more and more to the sleep that finally came. Far away, I hear someone knocking hard on the door, but I ignore it, as I had the same thoughts yesterday morning. But I wake up when the pounding comes back stronger and Leah's voice enters the room.
“Marnie Elizabeth McGonagall, open this shit now before I drop it and you know I'm capable of it.” I leap out of bed, running to the door.
She can’t be here.
I open the door, revealing Leah with perhaps the worst expression I've ever seen in the world. She was furious, if not more so. As she storms into my room without waiting for an invitation, I quickly look down the hall, seeing a couple look at me startled. I smile awkwardly, closing the door.
“What are you doing here?” I question, still not understanding.
"What are you doing here? And without warning anyone. Fading in the morning. Breaking up with Luke. What the fuck was that?” she screams.
For a second, I see that my amnesia was an issue with my plan. By not remembering my friendship with everyone, I really believed that I just left and everything would be fine. I didn't imagine anyone would cross the country for me, to understand what was going on.
And if Leah did it, it's a matter of hours before someone else does. They weren't going to leave me alone, they weren't going to forget me, and they weren't going to let this story pass. I need to push them away, but I don't know how.
"Go on, Marnie. What the fuck is going on? And if you tell me it's a job offer, I swear I'll fly at you without pity or mercy, and I'll slap the truth out.” she cross her arms.
I consider the last option a lot because I know she can do it. But I won't tell her the truth, that's not an alternative. I want to believe that if I don't back off, she'll see I'm not lying and won't attack me. And even if she tries, I just run away, I'm closer to the door and there's an armchair between us.
"But it is what it is!" I shrug.
“Stop it!” she screams. “Stop lying, Marnie. Everyone. Everyone knows you're lying, so why don't you tell the truth?” she waves her hands through the air.
“Because there's no other truth, Leah. Will I have to draw it for you?” I make the same moves she does.
“Be my guest!” she sits on the couch. I sigh wearily. I haven't slept for hours, I'm angry with myself and the world and now that I thought the situation was resolved and I just had to go on with my life, she comes and messes everything up.
“Why are you here?” I stay upright.
“I do not know! It must be cause you went crazy and disappeared without saying anything. Didn't answer my calls, no one had any answers about what was going on. So I took my father's jet and came to resolve this situation and I don't leave here without an answer at least.”
In the same way I laugh at Noah, I laugh at her, thinking it will fix everything. Leah carries the same expression as her brother, neutral, mocking.
“Why did you break up with Luke?” she asks quietly.
The mention of his name makes me shiver. I notice how my stomach turns and try to ignore it. I wonder if I can subtly extract some information from his state, but I don't want her to think I still care about him.
"Cause I wasn't in the mood anymore." I shrug, walking through space.
“My God, you've actually lied better.” I glare at her. “You know you're in trouble here, I know you better than anyone. I know you are lying and that you are going through some difficult situation. I even have my theories. So you're going to have to work a lot harder to trick me or get me out of here.” she cracks a smile, feeling victorious.
"Oh do you have? What are your theories?” I mock her.
“The first is that you really freaked out with amnesia and you can't handle it. The second is that you can't handle your feelings about Luke, it happened once before. And the third is that someone put some shit in your head and made you believe that everything would be better if you were out of the way.” I feel her gaze burning into me, looking for any reaction.
I let out a laugh, not forced, nervous that she got it right. Leah raises an eyebrow.
“You really traveled on your theories. Sorry, none are right.”
As if by magic, the answer appears to me. The only way I was going to get rid of everyone and go through with the plan without a hitch was to make her hate me. Make everyone hate me, just like I did Luke.
Just considering their hate for me makes my heart ache. But I need to do this. For Luke. For the boys. It's for their success.
“You know, a few months ago you were asked to be in a movie and you didn't take it cause you said you were a terrible actress. Isn't that right?” she gets up again. “Noah told me you said you were doing this for Luke, because you loved him. Marnie, what are you trying to hide?” she comes closer.
I feel dirty because of the attitude I'm going to take. It's low, very low, but I need her to hate me.
"Look who talks about hiding." I give a cynical laugh. Leah looks at me confused. "Don't you have anything to tell too?" she still doesn't understand. “You and Kyleen?”
Hastings freezes. The bitter taste of my act starts to fill my mouth. I’m sorry, Leah. I’m so sorry.
“How do you know?” she takes a step back.
"Who do you think closed the bathroom door on Ash's birthday?" I raise my eyebrows.
“Is not the same thing.”
“It isn’t? Aren't you hiding something from all of us?” I force a smile like hers a few minutes ago.
“No! Cause I'm not pushing everyone away, I'm not telling lies. And if you asked me, I would tell you the truth. Deep down, you know why I didn't say anything. You know my dad hasn't accepted Noah yet, that this is a problem in our family, and you know he wouldn't accept me either. You know that deep down I'm trying to protect both of us.”
“Oh! Do I?” I debauchery more. Right now, I feel horrible when I see your eyes water. I'm so, so sorry.
“I know what you're trying to do and I'm not going to stage it.” she walks past me to the door.
"Didn't you want to talk? I am talking.” Leah turns to me, straining the knife I carried in my chest, letting me see her crying face.
“You're trying to make me hate you.” now I'm the one who freezes. She laughs. “See how I know you? You are very predictable, Marnie. And as much as I know of your intention, I will not allow you to reach your goal. I hope that one day, not too far away, you realize what a big shit you're doing.” she opens the door, going. “Oh, and before I forget, since it's meant to hurt. Congrats, since your little chat with Luke, he's been locked in his room, needing Michael to keep an eye on him.” so Leah slams the door and strikes the final blow.
I bite the inside of my mouth, letting the tears fall. Honestly, I didn't even have the strength to hold back anymore. The rage burning inside me gives way to pain. I imagine Luke locked in his room, lying on the bed, hating me. Hating what we had and what we thought we had.
I walk over to my suitcase, pulling out a package, with the photos I'd taken from the box and the little white box he'd given me. I open it, holding the necklace with his name on it, the one he gave me.
Even knowing what I had to do, I wouldn't get rid of this necklace, I don't have the courage. It was easier to buy an equal one and put it in his hand. What he did to me would be kept with me forever.
““Closed eyes.” he fights.
"I have my eyes closed." I rebate. “Lucas…” I chide him, when I feel his lips on the back of my neck.
“Sorry, I got distracted.” I hold back the urge to laugh. “Closed eyes.”
"If you say it one more time, you'll get hit." I threat.
"How, if you can't see me?" right now, the urge to hit him is so strong that I follow the sound of his voice, trying to kick him. “Hey! No rudeness, otherwise you'll be left without a gift.” the false authoritative tone makes me angrier. “Good girl!”
“Go!” I kicked.
I'm startled by the icy touch against my neck. It's a necklace. Eagerly, I touch the pendant, recognizing the shape. He didn't do it.
“You can open it.” his hands move to my hips, hugging me.
With my eyes open, I run my vision to my neck, finding there a necklace just like his but blue.
“Happy Birthday!” he drops a kiss on my cheek.
I hold the blue quartz, seeing Luke's name engraved on the back. I let a stupid smile spread across my face, glaring at my boyfriend with the same.
"Want to explain why we're wearing practically identical necklaces?"
“It's a little obvious. Couples wear rings and I know what a problem you have with rings.”
“It’s not a problem.” I try to defend myself.
“It's just Alzheimer's. You know, in some people, it starts before they're 70 years old.” I hit him, and he laughs, before he hugs me. "Like I was saying, I know you're not into wearing a ring, so since I already had my necklace, I thought you'd have yours. That way we'll always be close to each other's hearts.” I rest my hands on his shoulders, standing on tiptoes.
"Have I told you I love you today?" I whisper, moving closer.
“Not after 5 pm.” he pouted, looking at the clock on the wall.
I don't know how I managed to kiss him with such a stupid smile on my face.
“Why do I like you, huh?” I question, stealing a little kiss.
“Because I'm cheesy and romantic. And even if you deny it, I know you get attached to it.” he opens a victorious smile.
"Don't ever say 'get attached' again." I beg laughing.
"What is it, bae? That was awesome.” he laughs.
“No!” I scream, laughing.
"What is it, babe girl? Don't you stick to my way of get in?” he keeps teasing me.
I place my lips on yours, determined to shut your mouth and thank you that it works. My mental reminder of “we're late for dinner” evaporates when his hands reach under my shirt. I scratch the back of his neck, pulling him closer.
“We're late for dinner.” he says against my mouth as I start to unbutton his shirt.
“Just say the traffic was like hell.” I suggest kissing his neck.
Luke accepts the idea, picking me up and walking me back to the bedroom."
It's not hard to know that we were late for dinner that day. But I didn't care, I had been given a necklace with his name on it, a necklace that showed how our relationship was getting more and more serious.
I also realize that the two times I got this necklace, at least once I ended up in bed with him. In fact, in both, but only one made it to the end.
“I hate myself.” I say tiredly, going to the minibar to get anything containing alcohol that makes me forget everything.
I call the front desk for two bottles of champagne and the biggest snack they have. I pick up the small whiskey bottles, turning one after the other, as if they were shot. I shake my head, wanting the effect to start faster.
“I hate myself. Leah hates me. Kiki must hate me now too. Just like Noah and everyone else there. Everybody hates me.” I turn the last one over, shaking my head once more. “Luke hates me. Hates me too much.” I comment, hugging the pillow.
I pick up a Polaroid of ours, staring at our happiness marked there. What am I doing?
I throw my head in my hands, lost. I wonder what might happen if I crawl into bed and don't go out for the rest of the month. Probably more people will hate me, but who doesn't hate me now? I mean, just get in line.
Awakened from the thought, when someone knocks on the door. For a second, I wonder who it was, then remember I ordered room service. I walk to the door, feeling the weight of the six small bottles.
My stomach churns and I feel an overwhelming urge to vomit as I land my eyes on the redhead in front of me. Red-haired?
"Bethany?"
#5sosedit#luke 5sos#5sos fluff#5sauce#calum 5sos#5sos blurbs#5sosfam#5sos fanfic#5sos#5 seconds of summer#ashton 5 seconds of summer#ashton 5sos#ashton fletcher irwin#ashton irwin#calum 5sauce#michael gordon clifford#calumthomashood#calum hood#michael clifford#luke hemming imagines#luke robert hemmings#luke hemmo#lukey#luke hemmings smut#luke hemmings#lrh#memorieslrh#michael 5sos#wfttwtaf#wendystales
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42. "This isnt going to have a happy ending" (Seven)
@youbloodymadgenius
(Sorry this took so long.)
[Ala Alice in borderland on Netflix. ]
Oscar stared at the ceiling of his latest dwelling - a small, studio apartment no bigger than a hotel room. A fan whirled quietly, pushing a small breeze throughout the space. He let his eyes drift to the singular window and out to the roadways and parking lots the complex surrounded. Thin walls allowed him to hear everything his neighbors went through, day in and day out. Drab colors covered the walls making the space even more depressing.
What a shithole.
However it wasn't the worst place work had sent him over the years. Given his station in life he had been required to live in some of the shadier places on Earth. Being a hired hand for the most powerful players meant you went where they sent you. No questions. If he had known his experience in spec ops would turn him into a glorified errand boy he would never have replied to his recruitment.
They're lucky they pay so well.
He sat up with a sigh and forced himself from the futon. A female living to his right was on the phone with, whom he could only assume was a friend, complaining about her most recent bout of dieting. Her cat ate better than she did according to her.
Oscar shuffled to his small bathroom and splashed cool water across his face. He'd been there a month already and his target had yet to show up. He huffed silently to himself. He tried to warn the powers that be to move on from their obsession. After the doctor's botched experiments, they turned all of their attention to a nobody, twenty something.
A fucking kid.
As he dried his face two male voices drifted through his walls, catching his attention. They stood just down the hall and were easily heard. He listened as they discussed benign details of their day and, judging by their voices, they were 409 and 411.
Buzz. Buzz.
He glanced into his apartment at a small kitchen table that doubled as a nightstand. His phone lit up before buzzing once more indicating a text had come through. He tossed the towel onto the edge of the sink and went for his phone.
He swiped up and unlocked his phone to see a picture of Dahlia smiling brightly on the beach. Followed by the question:
[sms: jealous?]
A soft smile tugged at his lips when he saw it was his sister. And yes, he was jealous. He huffed quietly and sent a picture of his current view.
[sms: not really]
[sms: stop bragging] was her reply.
A hard, loud series of knocks at his door pulled him from his phone with a slight start. He wasn't expecting anyone. No one knew he was there, save his sister. And his 'boss' never frequent his residences. They did all their business virtually. The less connected they were physically the better.
The knocking repeated itself and he went to check his doorbell camera. Oddly no one stood there. The hall was empty. Silence began to creep in from all around. Then all power crashed.
All power.
The lights, the camera, the ac, the hall lights. Everything electronic had gone down. Not even his phone was working.
'What the hell?' he asked no one as he tapped the screen and shook it a little.
He wasn't sure what he hoped would have happened by doing it. It was like blowing on the game system when the cartridge didn't work - useless, but somehow hopeful. When nothing else worked he carefully opened his door, peeking through the hall. His unknown knocker was still at large.
Seeing that things were all clear, he went to neighbor's and knocked. Maybe they knew more about what happened. Silence followed. He waited a minute and tried again. Still nothing.
"Hello?" he called through her door.
He knew she was in there. She'd just been bitching to her cat, jealous of his superior meal plan.
"I'm from 408."
Silence.
Odd, but maybe she was cautious of unknown males. Although neighbors they knew neither beyond a simple greeting in passing. Something that happened rarely since he'd arrived.
He left her door and went to his other neighbor's. Repeating the same process, resulting in the same response.
His heart began to race as each and every door on his floor resulted in nothing more than silence. He seemed to be the only person there which was impossible. He rushed down the stairs and to the lobby, finding it eerily empty.
"Hey!" he called throughout the lobby as he searched for someone, anyone. "Hello?!"
Oscar left his complex and headed for the streets - which he found littered with abandoned cars and deserted.
What the fuck?!
"Hey!" he yelled louder, darting from car to car, his search still coming up empty.
At this point it felt as if his heart would break through his chest it was beating so hard. His mind raced. Panic was not something he was used and he handled it very poorly. The only one who was ever able to calm him on the rare occassions it did hit was his sister.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at the black screen. It still wasn't working. He glanced around to try and find his bearings and noticed something.
The marquees had gone black. the street lights were out. Even the cars wouldn't start. Everything electronic was down. Like an EMP had hit, rendering it all useless. But that didn't account for the lack of people. Oscar had no idea what could have caused that since he remained. His mind went to the only explanation he could think of.
This was hell.
But he didn't remember dying. He'd been in his apartment minding his own business. The knocking was the last sound he heard. Not a gun shot or explosion. Just loud, hard knocking.
A month had gone by. In that time he'd searched nearly every part of the city and found nothing. No one. Each building was just as empty as the last. He scavenged supplies as needed and continued searching for anything to explain away this very real feeling delusion.
Suddenly a small tv screen lit up nearby - a lone light in the darkness. He squinted to see it clearer as he neared.
'Game arena this way.'
Game arena? What the hell?
A large arrow pointed to the right and looked where it pointed. As if on cue, a spotlight shown into the sky, illuminating a building a few blocks away. A glance between his phone, which still wasn't working, and the screen was all he took before heading where directed. This was the only thing different to happen since arriving.
He came to an apartment building slightly smaller than his. It too was dark save for the spotlights and some emergency lights running on a gas powered backup generator. It was just as abandoned as the rest of the city.
Cautiously he entered the building. He'd been through a lot of shit in his day, but this was eerier than hell. The silence was nearly driving him mad. Nevertheless he made his way through the hall, arrows leading the way. He finally came to the end of the hallway. A small table with cell phones and an elevator were all that greeted him. The elevator was down and the phones were off, just like the rest of the city.
Great. More nothing.
He tried the nearby doors and found them all locked. He left to backtrack out when he finally ran into others. Instinctively he grabbed one up and held him against the wall, holding his hand out to keep the others at bay.
"What the hell is going on? Who are you?" he asked glancing between the three of them.
They remained silent, but by the looks of thing he wasn't going to get any answers from them. He could almost smell their fear. Once Oscar actually took the time to actually see them he realized he'd overreacted. They were young men. In their mid twenties at best. Kids. He was an ex military turned merc who had done a great job of staying fit. He must have looked like a monster to them. He relaxed his grip and held up both hands in apology, taking a small step backward, keeping them all in his sights.
"Sorry. You're the first people I've found since...getting here and I thought you might have been responsible for whatever is going on," he explained.
They silently shook their heads once they were able to overcome their surge of fear. "We are just as lost as you," one of them said.
He looked at the three of them, studying their body language - which told they were being truthful.
"Do you know what is going on?" a second one asked when the silence became too much for him.
Oscar simply gave him a look to convey how stupid he thought that question was considering their initial meeting.
"Right. Sorry," he said sheepishly.
"We don't know anything," the first one admitted. "We were goofing off and then everything disappeared. It wasn't until dark that we were showed the way here."
Oscar nodded slightly. Aside from the length of time they were here, it was the same as him. "I've been here a month if my count is correct and haven't found shit. Except you guys," he said glancing between them.
The one with the stupid question took a few steps, peeking around the corner. He saw the elevator and table full of phones. His demeanor seemed a bit more hopeful at the sight. "There are phones down here," he said to his friends before taking off for them.
"They don't work," Oscar called out, but the other two had already rushed to join their friend.
When they picked them up the screens woke up. Their faces were scanned and a woman's voice came through - explaining registration was closed in five minutes and the number of participants, which as of now was the three of them.
"What the fuck?" Oscar said picking up a fourth phone. It scanned his face and replayed the same message. "These weren't working when I found them," he said more to himself.
Before they could discuss the recent turn of events a woman emerged from around the corner. She was dressed in business casual attire and looked vastly out of place. She calmly walked toward them and picked up a phone, repeating the process as the rest. This time however the registration time had gone down by two minutes.
"What does that even mean?" the third guy asked when he heard her message. "Registration?"
"Its a game," the woman said, breaking her silence.
"Game? What do you mean game?"
Without a word she pulled out some kind of ID badge and threw it down the hall. They all watched as a lazer shot out and precisely hit the tiny card.
"Once you cross the barrier you have now choice but to play."
"What game?!" the first guy asked again, frustration and worry in his voice.
"We are all in this game," she began to explain. "Each one is different and if you don't complete their tasks you die."
"Their?" Oscar asked.
She shrugged her shoulders "Whoever is running it."
A second girl showed up and when she saw the groups of them she rushed forward, happy to find other humans. The trio of guys tried to stop her, but it was too late and she'd crossed the threshold. Quietly Oscar handed her a phone. After scanning her face the voice rang out that registration was closed and there were six participants. It continued stating the game's name - Dead or Alive - the difficulty - three of clubs, whatever the hell that meant - and the one and only rule:
Pick the right door and exit within the time limit.
Just then the elevator door opened with a sign on it's back wall simply stating 'Start'.
Oscar sighed and quietly told himself "This isn't going to have a happy ending" before heading inside it with the others.
#youbloodymadgenius#alice in borderland#fanfic#fan fiction#fiction#writing#fanfiction#fan fic#original character#canon character#indie#tom hardy
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So. To catch up anyone who isn't caught up. My spouse and I are currently stuck living in a hotel. It's a whole long story, but mostly boils down to moving based on a promised job that then didn't happen, temporary housing, and then 2020 hit. It's not the worst thing when I'm working and we can actually cover the bill. But recently I had such a bad asthma attack that I lost my job, and it's been a terrifying scramble ever since.
I've got a new job lined up. I should theoretically be getting shifts some time within this week. But for right now, for today, we've got a $100 bill for the day looming over our heads, and we just haven't been able to line up the odd jobs to cover it this time. Which means we could be out of here tomorrow if we don't find a way to pay this ASAP. Every hour we wait is another hour that rooms get booked and we risk getting told that there's no room left.
I don't know how to keep my new job, how to even live if we can't manage at least a few more days of this. We don't even have a car to live out of if this falls apart.
I'm trying so, so freaking hard to just survive through this, just hope I can survive until something picks up and starts working, but I'm so freaking exhausted. I don't know how to keep handling this. I don't know how to make it so the world doesn't hate me for being poor and trans.
I'm so fucking tired. And scared.
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Hey guys! Love your blog by the way, so glad those staff fuckers didn't delete you!!! I've been adoring any and all fics with Eren being an amazing singer. Anything come to mind/any recommendations?? Preferably long ones but don't mind either way 😁🙌❤️️
So glad you like the blog! And we’re sooo happy we survived too! We’re going to keep delivering fics for as long as we can :) Onto your list of singer!Eren stories! Hopefully you’ll enjoy what we got together for you!
Daydreams Are Made Of This by SimplyTsundere(Rated E, Words 11547, complete)
The last week has been rough for college senior Levi Ackerman. With exams, graduation on the horizon, and a breakup he’s looking to just relax. Fortunately for Levi, his friends know exactly how to make him do that. A road trip to the next state over to see his favorite band performing at a local bar should do just the trick! Along the way they have some fun with a motorcyclist who can’t seem to take his eyes off Levi. Hange decides to write down the pantomimed numbers and call up the guy to discover he’s a fan of the band as well but can’t make the performance due to work. In a strange twist of fate, Levi will end up seeing the motorcyclist again and in a way that he never imagined. This is the trip that will lead Levi to believe that fate has a funny way of showing us to what we need most even in the times that we may not think so.
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To See by KATastrofic222(Rating teen, words 18382, mulitchapter, complete)
Where Levi is blind and he gets attracted to Eren’s songs and voice.
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Leave Your Lover by SailorHeichou(He’s not exactly a singer in this one but he does play his guitar / sings on his balcony which makes Levi fall hard.) (Rating E, Words 183581, mulitchapter, complete)
Levi is a 30 year old divorced Chef who works at his best friend’s restaurant.
An ex military Sergeant, Levi lives his life according to a strict routine. One day, his strict schedule is thrown off when a mysterious cat makes it’s way into his apartment from the open Balcony. When Levi hears it’s owner knocking on his door, he wasn’t aware that his life would be turned upside down and all because of this boy standing in his doorway with the biggest, brightest green eyes he’d ever seen and his name is Eren Jaeger.The story in which Levi doesn’t know he’s gay and is in denial about it until a certain bright eyed boy moves in next door and steals his heart. The only problem is… he’s got a boyfriend.
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Baby, It’s Cold Outside by jaegersaint(Again, not really singers but they meet by Eren singing!) (Rating Teen, words 1968, complete)
For the Tumblr prompt: “So we’ve never met but our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we’re showering at the same time and we sing duets” AU. Also, “Sometimes we’re showering at the same time and I can hear you moaning.”
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Fan by Ereri_Shipper69
(Rating E, words 6972, complete)
Levi is forced to go to a concert of a band that he cares not about and has never heard about before in his life. When they get there, he expects to immediately hate the group.But then a man who is younger than him, approaches him and leaves him feeling hot and bothered. Turns out, it’s the lead singer from the band.And damn, does he instantly take a liking to that sultry voice that only seems to be singing for him.
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Give Me Loves by s_n_k_tt(Rating E, words 1662, complete)
After a six month tour, Eren is finally seeing his boyfriend again in their secret cafe hiding place. However, things never seem to go well for these two.
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Indicate by blumen (Rating E, words 22879, mulitchapter, complete)
There were many ways in which one could find their soulmate. If you were lucky you were born with something cute like only beginning to age once you had met them. Or being able to talk to them in your dreams, regardless of any oceans separating you apart. Or even a cute little symbolic matching tattoo. Unless you were famous or something along those lines and everyone tried to get the same one to snare you in, all were quite harmless. Excluding their minor loopholes. Levi wouldn’t have even minded having his stomach light up like a Carebear if it means he wasn’t stuck with possibly one of the worst Indicators of all.
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Its a good thing, I like you by ackersass(Rating Teen, words 1062, complete)
Levi is a writer that stays at home and writes his books, goes on talk shows to give interviews and goes around some parts of the country to do signings.Eren is a singer who has a band called Shinganshina who’s recently been touring.
The band has made an appearance as its the last day of their tour before coming home and Eren has a special announcement to make before heading home
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Pining by spaceboytsukki(Rating Teen, words 4052, complete)
Levi had thought he could get through this class without any trouble, but this asshole who sat three rows in front of him was all he could think about and it was fucking annoying. Him and his stupid messy hair and his stupidly bright eyes.
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Beyond the Lights by yanderelevi(Rating M, words 6523, complete)
Eren is a singer who was forced into fame by his father. After winning another award, he goes back to the hotel, just to meet a cop named Levi in the worst situation possible.
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Büsker Dü’s and Don'ts by shulkie(Couldn’t remember if Eren sang in this one but he does join a band and become very famous.) (Rating E, words 49587, multichapter, complete)
Maybe Levi was taking out his frustration over his recent breakup on the overenthusiastic busker playing outside his office. But really, there were only so many drum solo covers he could listen to someone play on a bucket.What he doesn’t understand is why the kid still sticks around.
~~~~~~~
Superstar by alli12345(Rating Teen, words 28779, mulitchapter, complete.)
Eren and Levi live in completely different worlds. Eren is just a college student who works at a music store, while Levi is an internationally famous pop singer on tour. Their paths cross and a new forbidden relationship begins.
#obsessedwithereri-nz#ereri#ereri fanfic#snk#aot#levi ackerman#eren jaeger#one shot#mulitchapter#complete#first person pov#pwp#sfw#under 5k#under 10k#under 100k#modern au#fluff#angst#slow burn#musician#artist#noname#depression#top eren
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Knight in a Leather Jacket: A Negan Story ( Chapter 7)
Summary: You start your life with Negan and The Saviors, but what will happen when you find out what Negan’s true role is within the community. (fluff and angst)
Pairing: NeganXReader
Word count: 1,886
Need to catchup? Master list
Safe. That’s how you felt when you woke up in Negan’s arms the next morning. You turned around your body in order to face the sleeping man beside you. With his arms re-adjusting to your movement, he pulls you closer to his chest, and tenderly kisses you on the forehead. As you lay their staring at the man you thought to yourself, "Wow, he is truly amazing." You wished the morning hadn't come so soon because you would rather be in this exact moment...forever.
Minutes go by without you taking your eyes off Negan, when suddenly Negan pinches your arm. "What the hell?" you shouted while pushing Negan playfully.
"Just reassuring you this isn't a fuckin' dream doll... I am really in bed with you..naked."He responds to you while smirking. You rolled your eyes at the cocky man’s comment.
“You know I should be pinching you because it wasn’t too long ago that you were the one who had a sex dream about me.” You boasted while getting closer to Negan.
Negan stared at you with lust and started to say, “and darlin’ last night was 10 times better than my sex filled dream.” He then kissed your lips as if begging for more. Finally,as he pulled away he said,” Well as much as I would love to stay here with you all day, we should start moving for Simon will wonder where the hell we are.” While you got up you can tell Negan was admiring your unclothed figure. As you grabbed your clothes you looked at Negan and said, "Didn't you just say we had to start moving or else?"
Negan's rough voice responded, " I know but I wanted to admire you a little bit longer... just in case you decide you fuckin' don't want me anymore." It was sweet seeing him in this vulnerable state so to re-assure your feelings for Negan you went over to him and whispered to him, "don't worry dollface...I have many more things to show you later tonight."
"God... where have you been all my life?" He responded to your answer, then Negan grabbed you tossing you on your back as his lips once again crashed into yours. A few minutes later, both you and Negan started to get moving. As you were packing your things, your mind started to worry about all the things that could eventually happen to your new community, as it did to your old community. You were so anxious that you had to sit down to try and calm your troubled mind. "You okay (y/n)?" Negan asked while sitting next you. Once you open your eyes, tears started to fall down your face. "Hey its okay, princess, if you're worried about leaving we don't have to." Negan stated. You just smiled at the man, it was as if he knew you your whole life. But you shook your head and said, "I'm fine... I'm...just scared. Its been so long since I've been apart of a group...and I just don't want the same things to happen as it did before...everything I loved was taken away from me."
Negan embrace you into his manly arms, you loved the way he smelled. Negan then stated to you, "You know nothing will ever happen to us, and if something comes are way we will fuckin' deal with it.. together." Negan then continued to say, " You know what let's make a pact... if it's okay with you let's leave this nice ass RV here... and if something ever happens and we get separated..we can meet back here... this could be like our safe house." You liked his idea of having your own space where the two of you can meet if things go bad. So to show him you agree you kissed his savory lips once again. After you finished packing your things, Negan helped you load them into his truck. "You ready sweetheart?" Negan asked while grabbing your hand.
"Yes, let's go! I'm ready to start my new life with you." Then as Negan pulled away you looked in the rear view mirror watching your past slowly fade away.
"Finally you're here!" Simon rejoiced as you and Negan got out of the truck.
"Hey no need for the sass drama queen... I'm only a few minutes late..dipshit." Negan responded to Simon.
"And who is this beautiful young lady?" Simon asked as he grabbed your hand and kissed it. You were a bit creeped out and Negan could tell, so he stepped in and shouted, "Hey hands off, Si... you are creepin' her the fuck out.." You looked at Negan thanking him but also a bit peeved for you can handle your own problems. Negan than stated to Simon and the three other men, "If you must know,this is (y/n) one badass independent lady... and she is fuckin' off limits."
Simon backed away and said, "geez calm down...I was just being friendly... it isn't everyday you run into a beautiful women like (y/n) here." You blushed at Simon's compliment and Negan stood a little closer to you as if he was marking his territory. "Okay enough chit-chat... let's start moving our asses before sundown...when the real creeps come out." Negan declared and then everyone ,including you, went back to your vehicles.
As you and Negan start to follow the other truck down the road, you turned to Negan and said, "Thanks for stepping in... but you do need to realize I took those stranger danger classes back in college..so if anything ever does happen just know I can hold my own ground with creeps like Simon." Negan's hand rested on your thigh as he said, " I'm sorry... it's just nowadays most men would do anything to get into a woman's pants... and just the way Simon and the others were practically drooling over you I wanted to make sure you feel safe with me..." Your heart exploded with feelings at Negan's comment, even though you could take care of yourself you liked having a big strong man look out for you. So, you scooted a little closer and gave Negan a kiss on the cheek.
Finally, the truck pulled up to what looked like an old hotel, with a total of three floors. "We're here sweetheart." Negan said with excitement. As you look at the hotel you see many people outside, from adults to children you couldn't believe how big this community was. You guessed that there had to be about 30 people, which was a lot for a community nowadays. You smiled with glee as you got a feeling of what your new life would be like. After you both got out of the car, you followed Simon to the front desk.
"Would you like your own rooms?" Simon asked. You looked at Negan waiting for him to answer when he motioned to you to decide. You finally said, "No, because sharing is caring." Negan laughed showing off his dimple filled smile. "That's my girl." Negan said while Simon handed him the keys to your shared room.
Once you both were outside, you both decided you wanted to check out the room before unpacking. Your room was on the third floor near a stairwell facing the woods. Negan opens the door, and the both of you step into an enormous penthouse like suite. But the first thing you both noticed wasn't the kitchen but the giant king size bed with a bronze pole on the right side. "Now we're talkin'!" Negan plopped his masculine body onto the bed as if waiting for a show.
You bit your lip and shook your head at the man walking toward him before saying, "I know I can't for you to dance for me." Negan leaned over and pulled you down onto the bed and kissed you. You finally broke the kiss and said, "We should really go unpack the truck now... so we can start our "show" early tonight." Negan grinned at you ready to rush out the door, when someone knocked at the door. Negan opened the door and there was a dark haired man, who told Negan he was needed at the main office to take care of some "business". Negan shook his head and closed the door. You looked at him questioning what was going on. Negan told you, "I need to go downstairs real quick and deal with something but I'll be back...I told Fat Joey to grab some men and bring our things up..." Negan kissed your lips and was out the door.
After Fat Joey and another person brought your things up you thanked them as if they were a concierge at a regular hotel. You rummage through your things for something to eat and you decided on the bag of stale pretzels and a half-drunken gatorade. You sat on the porch admiring the view and how peaceful it was here. Once you were done eating, you decided to shower and change into something more revealing for Negan. It seemed like Negan was taking longer than he thought, so you decided to put on some sweats and a t-shirt and go see what Negan was up to. As you were heading downstairs, you saw a little girl playing with her sister outside. You smiled at them and the little girl tugged at your pants and said, "You're..very... pretty... are you a princess?." You smiled at the little girl and decided to play along and said, "shhhh...I'm undercover don't tell anyone, promise?" The little girl giggled and said, "promise." She ran back to her sister and told her your secret. "Oh to be young again." You thought to yourself.
While you were approaching the front desk you heard screaming coming from what seemed like a basement, where in the old world maids would do laundry. You were a bit nervous but your curiosity got the best of you and you decided to go toward the sound. You approached the room, luckily the doors had a small window attached. You peeked in and you couldn't believe what you were seeing it was as if your worst nightmares became a reality. You saw the man you thought you loved covered in blood, not his blood or a walker's blood but human blood. You wanted to look away but you couldn't you had to understand what the hell was going on. As you looked closer you also saw Simon and one other guy in the room. You then noticed Negan holding onto the blood stained baseball bat and finally you saw Negan standing over a beaten man, who looked practically dead.
At this point you couldn't move... fear was finally taking control over your body. You thought, "this can't be happening, why would he beat the living' shit out of that poor man..." you stepped away from the door trying to regain control of your thoughts when you accidentally tripped over empty paint cans. "Shit" you thought. You started to run as fast as you could away from the horrific nightmare when you heard Negan in the distance shout, "(y/n) come back...I can...explain." But it was too late, you got into Negan's truck wiping your tear filled eyes. As you drove off, you were cursing at yourself for letting someone in once again.
Tags: @babygirlmeepi @pseudonymfox @curlyhairedblueeyedangel
#negan x reader#negan fanfiction#the walking dead#jeffery dean morgan#jdm#twd fanfiction#twd reader insert#knight in a leather jacket#negan x you#negans thirst squad
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How I regretfully lost my first girlfriend, the first person I truly loved.
I love/loved her so much, but its my fault why we are over.
Just like how most couples meet, we met online thru a dating app. I admit I kept in contact with her during that time because I’ve got nothing else to do, until I asked her if she wanted to go out with me. I think asking her out was our first disagreement because I was bothered with her curfew, but in the end I was the one who adjusted because she is a super cute human being.
I.
On our first date I took her at Wagging Tails cafe at maginhawa street Quezon City. The first thing I noticed about her was the visible scar in her chest, I still find it kinda cute though. We shared each others thoughts during that day, I was happy when she smiles every-time I try to pull something funny.
Ever since that day I committed myself into pursuing her, because she’s a catch.
II.
Weeks and months after she was fully confident around me. I knew most of her secrets, her thoughts at work, her past which she did not deserve, and that made me fall into her more. We pursued what we have and I can already tell she was falling in love with me, I can see it through her actions.
III.
She did something she’s not supposed to do and I caught her. It really bothered my why she did what she did. “Can I still trust her?”,“is she gonna do it again?”. But that was the day that she admitted that she loved me. I forgave her and I said I love you back. Why shouldn’t I say it back she was my perfect little angel, until I destroyed everything.
IV.
Despite not having a label after admitting that we love each other already. We had a lot of struggles during that stage. Her work hours was one of the toughest because she goes out of work very late and it shortens our dating hours. I complied either way, for quite sometime. I loved her so I drifted apart/sacrificed some of my friends, I didn’t regret it at that time. As a couple our biggest struggle was being cyber-bullied/harassed by toy collector fanatics. Although its was my fault they fired at us, what they did was too far and below-the-belt. We were both bothered by that incident but being together solves everything.
V.
One evening during ber months 2018. She admitted she’s having mental issues. I was mad at first because the process of explaining what she’s going through is making me a punching bag for her. But I reconciled with her that night and I promised her to always be there when she needs help. Apparently I failed that part.
VI.
The day she made it official and I get to personally meet some of her family members. I still can’t feel my face remembering that day. I mean-- I finally have a girlfriend after existing 23 years in God’s Grace, and God provided me a beautiful little angel that I did not deserve.
VII.
She’s experiencing a loss and I tried my best to cheer her up, at some point she did. That was a good month for us. Little do I know I’m gonna fuck things up for us, for her.
I really don’t know what gotten into me but at some point my temper shortened and I get annoyed so easily. It bothered her. But I did something that made her have doubt about me.
VIII
One night after a video call. She messaged me about a girl I added on facebook. Annoyed, I told her that was nothing. I wasn’t able to go back to sleep that night which resulted me staying home not being able to work. I bombarded her with text messages to make her feel bad about that matter.
I realized it was wrong and I am very sorry for it.
IX.
After that I kept messing things up, until we had that talk and told me she needed some space because I changed. I obliged, said my I love you and let her rest. I wasn’t expecting her to contact me the day after but she did. She regret having a heavy discussion with me. She gave me her another chance. Unfortunately I fucked it up again because I’m a piece of trash that doesn’t do good things in life.
X.
Our last date. It was a rough start for me that day, because I didn’t get a heads up from the office that work is canceled so my mind is ticked off. She’s not doing well on that day also because she’s experiencing pain through her lower abdomen. I’ve made a comment about that I have regret saying ever since. She kept silent about it until the day after tomorrow.
XI.
The day we(she) broke up(with me). I thought it was gonna be another normal day for me, for us. She woke me up so I won’t be late, I made my deposit for the hotel for our LU trip that not gonna happen anymore. And I’m gonna go to Eastwood to spent time with you. But then before my office shift is about to end she sent me a text message saying she wanna talk about something later. I already knew what it was, I felt it. Upon meeting her and saying the reason why she wanted it over I was falling apart. I am losing her for the things that I did. Unintentional or intentional it was my fault. I haven’t been the same since. I wandered and met a friend thinking it could help, it didn’t I lost everything that day.
XII.
I have been begging her to come back to me but all the things I said made her drift away from me even more. I have been drinking re-connecting with old friends, trying a lot of new shit thinking it could mask up the pain that I caused I didn’t I will never be the same without her and I am responsible for that. You were the best thing that happened to me. Even if it was unintentional how could I push you away.
XIII.
It was a Sunday morning I lack sleep and drunk as fuck. I lost my 3-year-old crappy iPhone the night before due to drinking. She was one of the few people to know first, But I told her even more. I told her that I realized it now, the way I took you for granted, how I prioritized my temper rather than her well-being. I told her I lost an angel and the most beautiful girl in Antipolo. I heard her crying on the other end of the line but I didn’t mention it to her because she’s just one emotional and kind human being that I unintentionally took her granted.
We talked for almost an hour. I told her the things I mentioned above, I asked her if what if we didn’t broke up and she gave me one last final chance and I’ve been good? I’ve said some inappropriate stuff too, but what if—just what if we didn’t break up and things became better.
XIV.
I fucked up again. This time a lot.
It was very late and I was still outside, doing some intoxicating things with a stranger who is going through the same pain as I am. I was sad because I didn’t get to meet my ex after almost weeks of talking online. I wanna apologize to her with all the additional things that I’ve said in the process of me trying to fix it.
It’s not an excuse but I let the alcohol control the words that are coming right out of my mouth. As I wonder the streets of cubao just thinking about her. I became the selfish person she says that I am. I begged her to come back to me to let me fix it, or else I’ll “end myself”. After going back to my normal state I immediately realized how selfish I was how she was right all the time. How could I do this her, she already experienced enough pain and I even hurt her more. There is no excuse to what I did, once again I unintentionally scarred the most beautiful angel I know.
The morning after was the worst. Once again, just when I was making amends to my sins to her I further pushed her away.
She told me she was moved by the things I've said on our call after the night I lost my phone. She told me she saw or heard rather the man she fell in love with by realizing my mistakes. She saw the light in me again.
But because of being too pushy and being stupid she drifted away from me even further.
I am just so sorry.
K.J.D.P.
I don’t know if you will read this or not. But if you are, I understand if you don’t wanna see me anymore or at least for a while. I messed things up again, I took you for granted again, I became insensitive. I wasn’t aware you have your own problems too. I just wanted you to know I am so sorry for everything.
I know you are furious and angry to me as of the moment, I don’t know when. But someday, I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and start over again. I hope the light you saw on me when I called you after my other phone was lost will go shine in your eyes again one day.
I didn’t mean to throw everything away, I promise starting today I’ll be a better individual. I just hope you can witness my transition.
*Photo not mine*
Months or years from now, I am still hoping we’ll have another shot. You did promise to give what we had another shot if the timing is right in the future.
In the mean time love yourself and focus on your career, that’s what you keep on telling me after everything.
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