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emjayewrites · 3 months

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Private Landing (Lewis Hamilton Fanfic)(1/?)

SUMMARY: In the high-speed world of Formula One, Lewis Hamilton subtly introduces a mysterious partner via Instagram after a slight mishap during an interview. Sparking media intrigue, everyone wants to know: who is the enigmatic figure that calls herself Mrs. Hamilton?

INSPO: this post

PAIRINGS: Sir Lewis Hamilton x Aurora "Rorie" Phillips-Hamilton (faceclaim is Justine Skye)

WARNINGS: drama, angst, sexual content, formula one b.s., pre-established relationship (with flashbacks). RATED M (18+)

TAGLIST: @queenshikongo3 @cocobutterqwueen @httpsserene @mauvecherie-writes @galatially @pausmoon @a-moment-captured @nikki01234 @yeea-nah @sirlew44 @melodichaeuxx-lacritquexx @weetjy @lewisroscoelove @hxneyclouds @questionable-behaviour @marzzrambles @lovebittenbyevans @tian-monique @alika-4466 @saintslewis

A/N: Please let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist. The headers/dividers are by @inklore

CHAPTER 1: Loose Lips, Sink Ships

Rorie was surrounded by the familiar hustle and bustle of her morning routine. Her 10-month-old son sat contently in his highchair as she carefully prepared his breakfast. The scent of freshly chopped fruit mixed with the soft hum of bubbling porridge on the stove, creating a cozy and comforting atmosphere. She turned off the heat with a smooth flick of her wrist and poured the thick mixture into a small bowl for her baby, gently blowing on it to cool it down.

At the sight of this, her son began to fuss and was on the verge of throwing a tantrum. His whimpers turned into soft cries and from his corner of the room, Roscoe trotted over to investigate the commotion.

"Just a minute, peanut," she cooed while stirring the cooling porridge, but like his father, her son was always impatient. Deciding that the porridge was ready, she spooned some freshly cut fruit into the bowl before sprinkling cinnamon on top and placing it in front of the fussy infant. "You and your Daddy need to work on that," she chuckled, speaking in a low, baby-like voice. "You're just like him, aren't you?"

Rorie's son, with his chubby cheeks and bright brown eyes, looked nearly identical to his father. The resemblance was uncanny, from his curly hair plaited in baby braids to the mischievous glimmer in his eyes when he was up to something. Yet, there was one striking difference that set him apart – his skin color matched Rorie's, which was a deep sable.

She couldn't help but marvel at how the little one inherited both her nurturing determination and Lewis' unwavering impatience. It was as if their contrasting qualities were interwoven seamlessly in their child's very being. She watched as tiny hands reached out for the bowl of porridge, smearing it across his chubby cheeks and button nose. Roscoe edged closer with his wagging short tail, hoping for a taste of the gooey treat.

"Don't even think about it, Roscoe," Rorie warned with a playful scowl. "This is for baby boy only."

Roscoe gave her a sly look, tilting his head to the side as if considering whether or not to listen. But ultimately, he let out a soft whine and plopped down on his haunches.

Glancing up at the television mounted in their cozy kitchen nook, Rorie spotted her husband, Lewis. Her stomach tightened with a familiar mix of excitement and nerves as she watched him being interviewed. With practiced skill, he deflected questions about their personal life and redirected the focus to his upcoming race.

One reporter called out to Lewis, "Can you address the rumors about your family?"

Another chimed in, "You've mentioned having a wife and kids before. Can you tell us more about them?"

Lewis' smile faltered for a moment, but he quickly regained his composure. "My priority right now is winning this race," he stated confidently, his voice cutting through the clamor of voices. "That's all I'm focused on."

As a public figure, Lewis was well aware that every aspect of his life was under intense scrutiny from the media. Despite this, he always held on to the importance of keeping certain aspects private - especially when it came to his family. He had never mentioned them in interviews, until one slip-up after the Miami Grand Prix.

The public was taken aback when they discovered he was married, and even more so when he posted an anniversary message for his wife on Instagram. His media and talent manager, Penni Thow, felt it was necessary to give the public a glimpse into his personal life before things escalated further. Though it went against his principles, the plan proved successful - yet now it seemed like everyone was invested in him and his family, leaving Lewis and Rorie unsure of how to handle it all.

As luck would have it, their home was only a few miles away from Lewis and the drive to the main street where the Monaco Grand Prix took place was less than five minutes. As she gathered their son's belongings for their visit to the paddock, Rorie couldn't shake off a feeling of unease. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy spending time with Lewis, quite the opposite in fact, yet with all the media attention on their family now, she did not enjoy the feeling of being under a microscope.

Rorie finished feeding their son and cleaned up his messy face then she got herself ready before walking to her car. She strapped their son into his car seat and loaded up the stroller and diaper bag before heading out to meet Lewis. As she drove through the winding roads of Monaco, Rorie marveled at how different her life was now compared to just a few short years ago.

Growing up in a small town in Pennsylvania, Rorie never imagined herself marrying an F1 driver and living a jet-setting lifestyle. But after meeting Lewis at a bar in New York City, things changed quickly for her. She had been enjoying a drink after a stressful business meeting when they crossed paths. They hit it off immediately and before long, she found herself whisked away to Monaco where Lewis was based.

As she pulled into the paddock entrance, Rorie tried to push aside her anxiety and focus on enjoying the day with her husband and son. After parking her car, she unloaded everything and headed towards Lewis' team's hospitality area.

His dark hair, styled in his usual signature braids, caught her attention immediately as she scanned the group. His piercings and tattoos were on full display, and he seemed relaxed and confident surrounded by his team, discussing cars and racing strategies. Her smile widened as their eyes met, causing him to pause briefly in conversation with George and Toto. The other two men turned to look at her as well, but Rorie couldn't make out Toto's words from the distance.

With about an hour before the race, she knew Lewis needed a break to calm his nerves. This was nothing new for her; discreetly slipping away, Rorie headed towards Lewis' motorhome. To anyone else, she would have appeared like any other attendee, dressed casually in jeans and a knit bodysuit top. She never wanted to draw attention to herself when attending Lewis' races, but secretly she longed to be front and center in the pit area cheering him on like any other WAG. However, until she felt ready for that kind of exposure, this was how she preferred things.

Lewis respected their decision to keep their son out of the public eye, but when it came to Rorie? He wanted to shout his love for her from the rooftops. Yet he could never be upset with her desire for a quiet life, and he respected her decision. But when the time came and Rorie was ready for more, his fans would be inundated with posts about her day and night - that much was certain.

Minutes after Rorie, Lewis entered the motorhome. "Hey gorgeous," Lewis greeted with a warm smile. "You made it just in time."

Rorie smiled back at her husband, enjoying this brief moment of tranquility before the race began. "Hey yourself," she responded, leaning in for a kiss.

"How was the drive?" Lewis asked as he pulled her into a hug.

"Not too bad," Rorie shrugged as they settled on the couch. "Traffic wasn't too terrible."

"Good," Lewis nodded as Rorie handed him their son, who cooed happily at seeing his father after being away due to his busy racing schedule. "Hey, little man," he cooed at his mini-me. "How's my boy? How're you, Lyric?"

Lyric giggled and reached for Lewis' braided hair, causing both parents to laugh. Lyric Apollo was the apple of his parents' eye and he knew it. Despite their busy lives, they always made time for their son and he was always surrounded by love.

Rorie couldn't help but admire the sight in front of her. Her two boys, both with their matching dimpled smiles and hair, looked content and happy together. It was a scene she never thought she'd have the privilege of witnessing, but here they were.

"Can you believe how big he's getting?" Lewis said proudly as he bounced Lyric on his lap.

Rorie smiled fondly at them. "I know, right? It feels like just yesterday we were bringing him home from the hospital."

Lewis kissed Lyric's forehead before turning to Rorie with a mischievous grin. "Remember how scared we were? We had no idea what we were doing."

Rorie rolled her eyes playfully. "Speak for yourself; I had it all under control."

"Oh really?" Lewis raised an eyebrow in jest.

"Yeah," Rorie replied assuredly. "I mean, I did read every parenting book out there."

Lewis chuckled at her response before leaning in to kiss her cheek. "You're amazing," he whispered. "I wish I could spend more time with you guys, but the race season is just so hectic."

"I know," Rorie replied with a hint of sadness in her voice. She understood that racing was Lewis' passion and career, but she couldn't help feeling a bit lonely when he was away.

Lewis sighed and looked into Rorie's eyes. "Hey, don't worry about it too much," he reassured her. "After this race, we have a few days off before the next one. We can plan something fun for our little family then."

Rorie smiled at his words and leaned in for another kiss.

The sound of an alarm suddenly broke the peaceful moment as Lewis' timer informed him that it was almost time to head out for the grid.

"It happens all the time," he joked, taking out his phone to turn off the annoying shrill. Lewis handed Lyric back to Rorie before getting up from the couch where they had been sitting.

"Good luck out there today," Rorie said with a loving smile as she stood up as well.

"Thanks, babe," Lewis replied. "I'll see you after the race."

"Go kick some ass," Rorie said with a playful smirk.

"I will," he responded confidently. "Oh, Miles is here with Spinz if you want to head up to the paddock club."

"Do you really think I should go, Lewis?" asked a worried Rorie. "You know how chaotic it's been lately."

"There are no reporters up there and you know all the back entrances to be discreet," he reassured her. He took a step closer to her and let out a sigh. "I just want you to have some fun and enjoy yourself for a little while, okay? And Nina is coming, right?"

Nina was their nanny. Rorie nodded. "Yeah, she should be here any minute."

"Great, so just relax, have some drinks, and do whatever you want," he encouraged her. "Let your hair down. You've been taking excellent care of Lyric, Roscoe, and me, but mummy needs some time for herself too."

Rorie smiled at Lewis' words, knowing she needed to take some time for herself and have a little fun. It had been a while since she had the chance to let loose.

He kissed her on the lips before bidding her farewell.

Soon after, Nina arrived and Rorie smiled warmly as she handed over Lyric to her. As the Hamilton family's trusted nanny since Lyric was just a few months old, Nina was an older woman with wiry gray hair neatly tied up in a bun. Her olive skin was flawless and her bright blue eyes exuded warmth and compassion. She spoke with a soothing French accent, her words gentle and affectionate towards Lyric, like a sweet lullaby.

"Has he taken his nap?" asked Nina eagerly.

"No, but I've changed and fed him, so he's definitely tired," Rorie informed her. "I'm heading out now, please call if—"

"We'll manage just fine, Aurora," Nina interrupted.

"Merci." Rorie smiled gratefully at Nina before heading out to the paddock club. As she entered, the noise and energy of the crowd hit her. She felt a little overwhelmed, but also excited to be in this exclusive area where only sponsors and VIP guests were allowed. She made her way upstairs to the terrace, keeping an eye out for Miles and Spinz. It didn't take long for her to spot them at a table near the bar.

"Hey Rorie!" Miles called out as he noticed her approaching.

"Hi guys," Rorie said with a smile as she joined them at the table. "Thanks for inviting me to join y'all."

"You know we always got your back," Spinz said with a grin before taking a sip of his drink.

Rorie thanked him as she took a seat next to Miles. "When did you get here, Miles?"

"I got here yesterday afternoon," Miles answered in his British lilt, his brown eyes sparkling with excitement. He was dressed in a crisp white shirt and a tailored pink suit. "I would've swung by, but I figured you guys were sleeping by the time I was free. I had to handle some things before spending some time with Lew."

Rorie shook her head with a chuckle. "Yeah, we were probably in bed by then."

"Right, because taking care of a toddler is so easy," Spinz joked, earning a playful punch from her.

"I'm just glad you guys are here," she said sincerely. "It's nice to have some familiar faces in this sea of strangers."

"We wouldn't miss this for the world," Miles said with a grin. "You know we got to support our bro."

Rorie found herself having a great time with Miles and Spinz. She sipped on a glass of champagne, enjoying the cool breeze and the stunning views of the racetrack below.

"How's our nephew doing?" Miles suddenly asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them. "I saw some pictures of him and I swear to God he looks more and more like Lew every single day. That baby stole his whole face."

Rorie couldn't help but smile at Miles' words. "He's doing great," she said proudly. "Growing so fast, just like you said he would."

"I can't wait to see him again," Spinz chimed in. "Is he going to be 'round later?"

"Yes," Rorie replied, "if he's not asleep by then, of course."

"How is Lew handling being away from him?" Miles asked with concern.

"It's been tough for both of us," Rorie confessed, taking another sip of her drink. "But we make it work with video calls every night before bedtime."

Rorie couldn't help but feel grateful for their friends, who had always been there and supported her and Lewis through thick and thin.

Rorie politely excused herself to take a call from Nina, regarding Lyric. It was nothing serious, just a minor issue that needed immediate attention. Lost in her thoughts, Rorie was unaware of the figure approaching her until a deep, melodious voice broke through her reverie. Startled, she turned to find herself face-to-face with a captivating stranger. He had tall, broad shoulders that spoke of strength and confidence, and his deep brown eyes sparkled like pools of melted chocolate below a mess of messy curls.

The stranger approached Rorie with a charming smile, his voice smooth and polished like silk. "Excuse me, miss," he said, his eyes fixed on her from across the terrace. "I couldn't help but notice you. What's a gorgeous woman like yourself doing all alone?"

Rorie offered him a polite smile, but inside she was already feeling uncomfortable. "Thank you for the compliment, but I'm not available for conversation right now."

Undeterred, the stranger leaned against the railing and continued to gaze at Rorie. "Ah, I see. Well, I must say, I usually don't take 'no' for an answer."

She thought it was weird and creepy for him to say that. Rorie's smile faltered, her façade starting to wear thin as she looked around for someone to save her from this persistent stranger.

Just when she was about to make a quick exit, Miles arrived, bringing a sense of relief with him. Rorie felt a wave of gratitude wash over her as he approached.

"Hey man," Miles greeted the stranger with a friendly tone, but also a hint of suspicion. "Do we know you?"

The stranger straightened up and maintained his confident smile. "I don't believe we've met," he replied smoothly before extending his hand towards Miles. "My name is Alexander."

Miles shook his hand cautiously before turning to Rorie with questioning eyes. She shook her head slightly, indicating that she also did not know this man.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Alexander," Miles said politely. "But as you can see, the lady wants to be left alone."

Alexander's smile faltered at Miles' firm tone, but he quickly recovered. "My apologies," he said smoothly. "I simply couldn't resist."

Rorie rolled her eyes at Alexander's persistence and had no interest in entertaining him any longer.

"Excuse us." She looped her arm with Miles' and he led her away.

Once they were out of earshot, Miles turned to Rorie with a concerned expression. "Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

Rorie let out a sigh of relief and leaned against the railing next to him. "Yeah, I'm fine," she replied with a small smile. "Thanks for coming when you did."

Miles nodded understandingly and gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry I couldn't get here sooner," he said regretfully.

"No worries," she assured him. "You were here when it mattered most. Besides, I can handle myself. But seriously, who was that guy?"

Miles shook his head. "No clue. Never seen him before. But he gave off a weird vibe, didn't he?"

Rorie nodded, her mind still reeling from the encounter. "Definitely. It's like he appeared out of nowhere and just wouldn't take no for an answer."

Despite his disappointment after losing the race, Lewis was determined to let go of his frustration and attend Justin and Hailey Bieber's yacht afterparty. Rorie sent a text to Nina, asking her to take Lyric home, and joined Lewis at the party. Though he couldn't shake off the thought of finishing in fourth place, Lewis stayed positive when he was with his wife.

The afterparty was in full swing when Rorie and Lewis arrived. The music was blaring and the yacht was packed with people dancing, drinking, and mingling.

She followed Lewis as he made his way through the crowd, greeting familiar faces and introducing his wife to new ones.

They made their way to the bar, where Lewis ordered her a drink while Rorie took in their surroundings. The party was filled with models, actors, and other high-profile individuals. It was clear that Justin and Hailey Bieber's connections ran deep.

She sipped on her martini as she noticed Justin making his way towards them with Hailey by his side. Justin and his wife Hailey, close friends of the couple, greeted Lewis and Rorie with warm embraces. "Hey man, sorry 'bout the race," Justin said sympathetically before turning to Rorie. "Hey Rorie, how's it going?"

Rorie smiled back at him. "I'm doing well, thanks for asking."

"Good to hear," Justin replied eagerly. "We should definitely catch up tonight, it's been too long since we've seen you guys."

Hailey chimed in from beside her husband, her eyes lighting up. "Yes, let's celebrate! How about coming back to our place for an after-after party?"

Rorie glanced at Lewis uncertainly, but he shrugged nonchalantly. "Sounds like a plan," he said with a grin.

"Lyric's with the nanny anyways, so we're good," she added.

Hailey's smile widened at the mention of their son. "I can't believe he's almost one already!"

"Time flies," laughed Rorie. "He's doing great, trying to walk and getting into everything at home."

Both Lewis and Rorie had a good time hanging out with their friends, which was a rarity since becoming parents. Whilst Lewis stayed sober, Rorie had the time of her life and was feeling the effects of consuming too much alcohol. They made their way home at around three in the morning and Lewis slowly lead his beautiful intoxicated wife inside their home.

She managed to not bump into anything until she tripped over her own two feet as she took a step down into the sunken living room, exploding into fits of giggles as she landed onto the rug-covered floor with a thud.

"Fuck, are you okay, love?" Lewis questioned, suppressing his laughs. He instantly made his way to her to help her stand. "C'mon, let's get you some water and into bed."

"Are you trying to seduce me?" chortled Rorie as Lewis walked her into the kitchen. "That's how we became pregnant last time, 'member? You got me drunk one night and then...poof...pregnant."

He settled her at the kitchen nook as he filled a glass with water. Rolling his eyes in mock annoyance, he let out a scoff. "It didn't happen like that, baby."

"Mmmhmm," she added with a small hiccup.

"Come on, come on, let's hydrate you," said Lewis as he held a glass of water to her lips.

Lewis helped Rorie drink the water and then led her into their bedroom. He helped her change into her pajamas and tucked her into bed. She let out a content sigh as she snuggled under the covers.

"You know, I think I might still be a little tipsy," she slurred with a sleepy smile.

"I have no doubt about that," Lewis chuckled as he stripped down to his boxer briefs and slid into bed next to her. "But it's okay, you had a good time tonight."

Rorie snuggled closer to him, feeling warm and happy. "I did. I miss hanging out with our friends like this."

"We'll have to do it more often," promised Lewis, kissing her forehead.

"I love you," murmured Rorie, already starting to drift off to sleep.

"I love you too," whispered Lewis, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer as they both fell asleep.

The next morning, Rorie woke up with a slight headache but overall feeling okay. She smiled as she remembered the fun night they had with their friends. She turned over in bed and was greeted by Lewis' sleeping face.

He looked so peaceful and handsome, even in his sleep. She traced his jawline lightly with her fingers before planting a soft kiss on his lips.

"Mmm, good morning," he mumbled against her lips before opening his eyes.

"Good morning indeed," giggled Rorie.

"How are you feeling?" asked Lewis, sitting up slightly and rubbing his eyes.

"Surprisingly not too bad," replied Rorie. "I guess drinking lots of water last night helped."

"Well, that's good to hear." Lewis leaned in for another kiss before getting out of bed to start the day.

As they went about their morning routine of getting dressed and making breakfast together as a family, they chatted about their plans for the day. Rorie suggested taking their son to the park for some quality family time, and Lewis eagerly agreed.

They sat down at the breakfast table, ready to enjoy a delicious homemade meal of fluffy vegan pancakes, fresh fruit, and freshly squeezed orange juice. Lyric sat in his mother's lap, chewing happily as Rorie fed him.

Just as they were about to dig into their mouthwatering breakfast, a familiar ringtone broke the tranquility of the morning. Penni's name flashed on Lewis' phone screen. With a sigh, he picked up the call and put it on speaker.

"Hey, Penni," Lewis greeted, trying to sound nonchalant. "What's up?"

"Morning, lovebirds," Penni sang. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but a tabloid got hold of a picture from last night at the Bieber yacht party, and they're planning to post it online by early afternoon."

Rorie's fork clattered onto her plate, her eyes widening in surprise. Lewis felt his heart sink.

"Are you fucking serious?" Rorie exclaimed, frustration evident in her voice.

"I wish I was kidding," replied Penni. "But the paparazzi are ruthless, and they're always on the lookout for anything that would make them money."

"The picture showed up on their radar and now they're going to exploit it," added Lewis, feeling a mix of anger and helplessness.

"What are we going to do?" asked Rorie, her mind racing with possible solutions.

"We could try to get ahead of the story and release a picture ourselves," suggested Penni. "But we have to act fast before it goes viral. I hate to ask this again but—"

"Penni, we can't keep playing this tit-for-tat game with them," Lewis argued. "I'm tired of putting my family in this bullshit."

"It's just me, right?" piped Rorie.

"Yes," answered Penni. "We've been scrubbing the Internet and there's no pictures of Lyric. There are actually laws in place that protect his privacy against the media. Unfortunately, it's a different story for adults. I suggest maybe a recent photo and a cute caption."

"Until how long though?" grumbled Lewis. "This is a never-ending situation unless we...goodness I can't believe I'm even thinking of this."

"What's going on, Lewis?" Penni couldn't help but wonder what was happening.

Rorie, on the other hand, immediately understood the situation. She and her husband had always been in sync, and this time was no different. It could be seen as a blessing or a curse, but they had a certain synergy about them.

"You can't keep me hidden forever, honey," she said in a soft voice. "We knew this would happen sooner rather than later. I have to go public now, unfortunately."

After five years of avoiding the limelight and the constant intrusion of paparazzi, Rorie finally had to make her debut into the world of celebrity. Hopefully, everyone would calm down soon, but she couldn't trust the media too much. While she did have an Instagram presence, it was small compared to her husband's and was set to private, but all of that had to change now. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make for her family. Rorie wasn't exactly shy - if anything, she exuded cool confidence - but that didn't mean she enjoyed being in the spotlight. But it was something she had to come to accept.

"Fine," Lewis reluctantly agreed. "Just give us ten minutes, Penni, and we'll post it."

Even though he wanted to show off his beautiful wife all over social media, he didn't want it to happen like this - he wanted Rorie to decide on her own terms without any pressure.

"Are you sure, baby?"

"Yes," Rorie affirmed. "I mean, what else are we going to do?"

TO BE CONTINUED...

#sir lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton x black!reader #sir lewis hamilton x black!reader #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton x black! oc #formula one fanfiction #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #private landing

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genericpuff · 6 months

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The Extended Mishandling of LO's S3 Midseason Finale Premiere (Pt 2)

Alrighty, I promised a part two back in the first part of this analysis, but found myself busy with Rekindled and my day job, so I'm finally sitting down and finishing this up. If you haven't read that first part yet, please go check it out!

CAUTION: THERE BE FASTPASS SPOILERS AHEAD!

We left off with Hebe and Apollo roleplaying that one scene from The Lion King, albeit with a lot less sense or nuance. Literally all the "drama" so far feels purely manufactured for cheap plot progression and tension and it hardly feels authentic. But now we gotta talk about the second half of this episode, where we finally address the cliffhanger that the FP midseason finale episode left off on - Persephone causing winter.

And what better way to kick it off than with a completely off-base Persephone monologue?

Now, what's shown here is actually a flashback to the job interview scene from S1, when Persephone asked to see the snow in the Underworld. But it's written as if Persephone has some intimate relationship with snow as a whole, as if she's experienced more than this one time which... she hasn't. There was nothing "romantic" really about that scene following the job interview, she literally just wanted to go out and see something she hadn't seen before.

But that calls into question - why does Persephone constantly act like she has an intimate relationship with snow when it doesn't occur in the Mortal Realm? She even says in the honeymoon episode that it's hot all the time in the Mortal Realm, and the temperature only drops every now and then during rainy days... and she somehow makes this about Hades when it literally has nothing to do with him lmao Persephone monologues are some of the worst /r/im14andthisisdeep moments in the series because she's constantly using word salad to describe feelings we never saw or scenes that never happened.

And this scene is no different. She says that snow is something that's interwoven with her most 'treasured moments' but all the visuals have to show for is that one scene from S1 that, again, didn't even come across as a 'treasured moment', it was just her seeing the snow for the first time, there was nothing 'romantic' about it in a vacuum. All the moments from the series you could call ACTUALLY TREASURED milestones of Hades and Persephone's relationship - and Persephone's supposed "love" for the Underworld - are scenes where snow was completely absent (ex. the scene of Persephone and Hades talking about Sicily in Zeus and Hera's garden, Persephone and Hades spending the night in the cabin during the trial arc, etc.)

But then, to make it even more confusing, she goes on to describe her losing her powers and causing winter a "betrayal". As if the concept of winter owes her anything. As if Erebus owes her anything.

The allusion to Erebus itself in the visuals implies that she feels "betrayed" over this happening, as if it wasn't made ABUNDANTLY CLEAR TO HER that she would have to sacrifice something. She's gone SO LONG without knowing or caring about what she could have possibly given up, that by the time it finally revealed itself, she's acting all shocked Pikachu because there's finally something she can't just have. Everything that could make her seem imperfect has been washed away, from her SA trauma to those pesky green hands. Now we finally ARE seeing her affected by her own choices and she's basically waxing poetic about how sad it is that her actions have consequences.

That said, she does seem to have a moment of self-awareness here... but I can't be confident it will actually amount to anything seeing as how all the past attempts at 'growth' have been overshadowed by her vanity and ego.

This line is really confusing / weird in the way that it's written but I think she's trying to say that the source of the cold is from her, she can't pin it on any sort of 'big bad' like she could with Apollo and Kronos. It's just her.

And again, this could be a moment of realization for her that her actions are her own regardless of whatever she wants to pin it on-

But she rejects it instead. She's still not capable of acknowledging that her choices affect others, that her actions have consequences, that she's finally paying the price for something she knew had a cost.

If this were any other comic, I would accept her rejection of this, I would have confidence in knowing she may recognize it eventually. But this is LO and we're three seasons in, she's technically already gotten her happily ever after in the form of becoming Queen and married to her 'true love', so all of this feels like a very last-minute attempt to paint Persephone as this "struggling" character. But she's not "struggling", she's just finally experiencing karma catching up to her and as expected for a person like Persephone, she's already cracking under the pressure of realization that she can't have everything she wants.

Again, in any other comic, this would feel satisfying or endearing to see her fall on her own sword, but to me it just feels frustrating in the context of LO because we've spent five years seeing her get everything she wants with barely any real struggle that wasn't manufactured - with all of it painted as a GOOD THING - while still getting away with treating the people around her like shit.

And when I say she rejects this concept of having humility, I don't just mean through her monologuing, but also through her actions.

If I were to critique LO the same way I would an actual functional series, I would say that this should be the point of realization, the point where we see her crumble under the weight of her not being perfect, not being able to "fix" everything. It all stems back to her entitlement as a bratty main character, someone who can't fathom not being the main character or the "hero".

Because she's not the hero. Demeter is - or at least, she tries to be.

Again, it's hard to know if this is intentional or if this is yet another attempt to present Demeter as an "overbearing mom", but Persephone here looks and sounds like she's been reduced back to the state of a child crying for her mother in the face of her own failures. Despite now technically being a mother herself (through literal babynapping sigh) Persephone is still not a mature adult. Aging her up 10 years and giving her a husband and baby will not make her an actual functional independent adult who's capable of taking care of themselves or making the right decisions... unlike Demeter who is still, ultimately, more skilled than Persephone. She is an actual experienced and mature adult who's capable of rationalizing and decision making, and knowing when it's time to put aside your ego, walk away and let someone else who's far more qualified take care of things.

What Demeter has is something that one can only gain through true hardship, failing, learning from one's own mistakes, and experience, all of which Persephone does not have because she transitioned from a cage of her own imagination where hard work and responsibility was a virtue, into a gilded cage where true hard work can be passed onto someone else whose efforts she could take credit for while sitting on a throne and buying anything and everything she could ever want.

Despite everything Persephone and the narrative claims to have 'earned', she's still a child. The adults have to take over.

And like a child, she doesn't let them.

This is not an 'anime moment'. This is not a moment of redemption. This is immaturity and irresponsibility in its most visible form for Persephone - refusing to let go of her ego and shortcomings to "prove herself", even if it means making things worse.

And Hades enables it.

I want to make it clear there is a massive difference between not being controlling over someone, and actually enabling them.

This is not some small hill to die on. Persephone is literally causing winter, which could very well kill the Mortals. As we've seen in that prior Hebe scene from the first part of this essay, the snow is showing up in Olympus. This isn't something that's happening in the isolation of this single scene, this is happening everywhere and instead of taking the L, Persephone is trying to make things 'better' by simply 'trying harder' which is just not the solution here, Demeter knows this, but Hades is playing the "girlboss" version of a "good husband" by not even bothering to try and convince her to do otherwise. Hades above everyone else should be the one stepping in because he'd likely be the only one she'd actually listen to, but he's refusing to because he has to be the "good husband" who doesn't control the actions of his wife.

So he flat out enables her instead by not even bothering to try and reason with her, to help her see that what she's doing is not helping. Not even so much as a "Persephone, I know you want to help but it's clear something is wrong and if Demeter can figure out what to do to fix this, we should let her", just him saying to Demeter who wants to stop her that he can't stop her from trying... ignoring the fact that he should at least try.

And that's the difference between being controlling and being an enabler. He's not keeping her from doing something that benefits her and doesn't harm him or others. He's not micromanaging her decisions or trying to tell her she's not capable. Now, don't get me wrong, there are definitely things that make Hades a walking red flag especially when it comes to him being a groomer, but when it comes to directly controlling Persephone, most of the time she's doing things of her own accord convinced that it's "the right thing" (which is still just a side effect of the obvious grooming because I really doubt S1 Persephone would have done this shit lmao).

Here, he's not stepping in to even try to reason with her because "well I'd be a bad husband if I stepped in", completely ignoring the fact that it makes him a terrible person, period, to not at least try to calmly reason with his wife and explain to her that her 'help' is not going to help here. Just like when he rewarded her with sex for abusing a nymph in her own home, he's completely complacent to Persephone's actions and doesn't step in to try and help because, according to Wattpad and TikTok, a "good husband" is someone who looks the other way while his life partner does whatever she wants regardless of the consequences to herself and others. "Happy wife, happy life, who cares if the wife wants to be an actual piece of shit to people if it makes her happy".

And thus she makes things worse in her pursuit of "happiness", while Hades stands idly by, watching it all unfold as if he's just an innocent bystander who can absolve himself of any responsibility in this situation. As if she didn't become this way because she ate the pomegranate to be with him and a part of his world.

Now, there's one other sort-of-blatant smoking gun that I want to talk about that I haven't really seen anyone else mention since this episode went up. Granted, this might be me reading far too much into it, but hey, that's what this blog is for and I think it's something that absolutely needs to be mentioned.

Persephone goes on about how her powers aren't just gone, they've been replaced, all she can create is decay, and more specifically-

Now... think of the context of LO's narrative, what it's told us both literally and through subtext, intentional or not.

What does this sound like?

Hades lost his ability to produce children when he ate the pomegranate. He can no longer "create life".

And now, Persephone is finding herself in a similar situation, unable to "create life" the way she knows how. I'd like to think this isn't literal, but it really feels like there's a metaphorical implication here that Persephone losing her ability to create life is meant to be taken literally, that she not only can't create flowers and plant life anymore, but she's lost her fertility entirely. You can go even further back in this when it was established Persephone didn't eat six seeds, but nine, which originally felt like a weirdly random choice, but now seems intentional. I know some people have theorized that it has to do with her possibly being pregnant, but I don't think that's the case, I think it's the opposite - that the 9 months was a metaphor for the 9 months of childbearing that Persephone can no longer do.

And if that's the case... LO truly is no longer a "feminist" piece of work. It barely was before, but if the point of all this winds up being an attempt by Rachel to give Persephone a "flaw" by taking away her ability to bear children... that'll be a punch to the gut.

That said, if it does go somewhere, maybe the point will be Persephone learning she doesn't need to be able to reproduce to have value as a woman. But considering LO's track record with these sorts of plotlines, I can't be confident in the slightest that's where it'll end up. What I can be confident in is that Persephone will likely not stay this way. Like her green hands, she'll likely get her powers back, maybe after the resolution that she's still a real woman deserving of love even if she can't reproduce. I can't possibly know at this point where it's going, all I do know is that LO hasn't done a great job at resolving these sorts of deeper narratives so this just feels like another dart on the wall of bad ideas. Because it's, again, all being framed through Persephone being the "perfect woman", without there being any actual subtext throughout the narrative to imply that this may be a flawed ideology to have, it's just what Persephone has to be and it's sold in the narrative as a positive.

There's one term to describe this with that's rather consistent throughout LO when you peel back the layers of both the comic and Rachel's past work - white feminism. Despite LO's attempts to be "feminist", it's still ultimately being written through a heteronormative male gaze, that women are only "valuable" so long as they're youthful, that any goals or dreams a woman may have should be dropped as soon as they fall in love with a rich and powerful man, and that "other women" who don't fit into that mould of being rich, white, and heterocis are not worthy of love, empathy, or understanding. It's hard to trust that LO will actually challenge these norms when it's been practically enforcing them for five years.

But ultimately, that's a very loaded topic and right now, we don't know where this is going... I'm just not so sure I want to see it after all the missteps the series has pulled over the past half a decade. Like the miracle of childbirth, it's gonna take a miracle for LO to actually stick this landing.

Now, I'm assuming you read this line of dialogue, and you understood it. Yes? You positive? Okay, great. Why am I asking you this question as if you're an infant who doesn't understand what being "passed out" means? Well, you'll see what I mean in a minute.

Now, again, like with the whole "I can't bring life to anything anymore" thought process I just went through, I can't know exactly what they're trying to do here, but Demeter is fully in the right. I want to make that abundantly clear that Demeter was right the whole time and it's pretty telling that even a lot of the people reading the comic in good faith are pointing this out in the discussion circles they can actually access.

Now, in case anyone hasn't noticed, it's clear that Demeter herself is drawing upon the fertility magic of Gaia or Rachel is just alluding to Gaia for some reason. At first I thought it was supposed to be her form of "wrath" until I remembered that (unfortunately) Eris was the only reason for Persephone's wrath, so this is clearly meant to be some allusion to Gaia. Considering the fertility powers were passed down purely through Gaia and Ouranos, this means Demeter is a descendant of Gaia, which... calls into question Rachel's attempts to "remove the incest" from LO, but that's for another topic.

Either way, Demeter is fully in the right here. Hades is a fucking idiot - a useless lump - for not only enabling the shitty actions of his shitty wife, but for not taking even any amount of accountability for the fact that Persephone found out about the pomegranate through him.

"But Puff, she had to eat the pomegranate to beat Kronos!" Did she? Or was that purely manufactured for Rachel's sake because she just had to have an MCU Evil-Robot-Jeff-Bridges villain despite the fact that this FANTASY ROMANCE series didn't need one? The fact that it was written purely to 'force' Persephone into doing something she already wanted to do was completely redundant, it wasn't a 'sacrifice' she made, it was made pretty clear in Episode 165 that she wanted to eat the pomegranate as soon as she found out about it and while that decision is certainly her own, that does not absolve Hades of responsibility for not questioning his future wife's fascination with it or realizing that he unlocked the inner Pandora's Box of Persephone's mind.

And so, Demeter holds him responsible. As she should.

Okay, you read that, right? But remember that line I asked you about before? We should all know Demeter doesn't mean this literally. We have brains and we should all have a minimum amount of media literacy to understand that Hades was telling the truth when he literally said Persephone was "passed out".

We finish the episode on this panel, which I swear to christ I couldn't tell you in all of my own divine wisdom of the arts what in the world is going on in this panel. I'm literally looking at salad.

Is it Demeter and Persephone? Just some dying plants? I have no fucking clue, your guess is as good as mine.

But we're not done. Because we have one more glaring issue to talk about with this episode, and it comes in the form of an author's note that was inserted at the end of the episode. It is truly, despite EVERYTHING we've talked about in both parts of this analysis, the dumbest, most airheaded and egregiously pretentious thing I've seen in this entire episode.

Rachel quite literally put in a fucking disclaimer telling her audience what Hades already told us point blank in the comic - "Don't worry, audience members, Persephone is not literally dead, it's a metaphor for her spring powers being dead!"

I literally can't even express to you how pretentious and shitty this is of her to do. I can't tell if it's legitimately her thinking her writing is "too smart" for even her older audience members to grasp, or if she just wants to dispel the theories that people would want to make about this, or if she completely misconstrued the criticism about her writing not being "clear enough" and thinks that THIS is what people meant. Pardon my tone because I've kept it together relatively well throughout this post, but this is some 2009-era Fanfiction.net level of author's note bullshit.

If she thinks her writing is "too smart" for her audience to grasp, I'm sorry Rachel, but you're just wrong and this is incredibly shitty of you. You think the 14 year olds in your community aren't also reading other webtoons that have deeper writing than LO? I read Death Note when I was fucking 14 and I knew exactly the point of what the story was getting at by the time it was over, despite all the other stories I read at that age that completely flew over my head. And you think LO is somehow more complicated than Death Note, baby's first introduction to the grey areas of morality and justice?

If she's trying to dispel the theories... that actually holds some merit because not only is Rachel notoriously bad at not letting her fandom just talk about their theories without her swooping in to "um actually" them (even if it means killing the fun of theorizing), but the official FP page on FB was closed to new submissions in the hours following this episode and it since hasn't posted any new content. Is it because people aren't posting? Absolutely not. The mods are quite literally holding these posts hostage through the submission and approval system. People are legitimately trying to submit only for the mods to block it entirely from going through. If this is Rachel's attempts at trying to "protect herself" from the criticism this episode has surely earned, then all she's really doing is punishing her own fans who want to talk about it. It doesn't matter anymore that the discussion groups are finally back from 3-4 months of being shut down over the hiatus, they're still not being allowed to operate. The best there is now is the Discord and it's undoubtedly just as heavy moderated as the FB groups.

And as for the third possibility, this also feels like an attempt at Rachel trying to make her writing "more clear" without actually putting in the work of writing a good story. She's undoubtedly seen the criticisms towards LO as a whole that it doesn't express itself clearly, that it constantly flip flops on character motivations and information that has been established, and that any monologuing that's done implies things or events that we've never seen unfold on screen (case in point, the Persephone monologue from the start of this episode) but she seems to have either misconstrued or ignored the point of that criticism entirely by solving it with a quick and shitty author's note at the end explaining her intentions with a scene that was already clearly laid out to us. Instead of putting in the work to write a concise story to explain the things that are a bit more under-developed, she's slapping in a spoonfed explanation for scenes that literally don't need explaining and that ultimately cheapens the scenes that are TRYING to have impact, bringing them down to the same level of mediocrity as the scenes that never had the impact they intended to have to begin with. "You've killed the Goddess of Spring" was plenty clear after Hades said she was passed out, Rachel. Taking the time to explain it in a note at the end is just sad and it really goes to show what you think of your audience, especially when it comes to how you treat your fans in regards to community accessibility in the official discussion groups.

"The haters" didn't set this comic onto the path that it's on or ruin the fanbase experience, Rachel - you did.

#also i stg if she's just redoing the coma plotline from S2 #you can't just go to sleep and avoid the consequences of your actions persephone #wake tf up and take some goddamn accountability #lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus

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lewis-winters · 4 months

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I was just curious but do you have any recs for period dramas about the philippines? I want to expand my period drama watching and im not quite sure where to start

Oh, the monster you've unleashed. YES I do have so many period dramas from and about the Philippines. Unfortunately, not all of them might be accessible to you if you're outside of the Philippines. Some of them are found on Amazon Prime, Netflix, and MUBI though. I'll make sure to put a lil note next to each film if they are. Also! these vary in genre (meaning: not all of them are war films, and some of these are horror films-- because this is me we're talking to, heh). I also have copies of some of these and will make a lil note next to each film if it's available for sharing, though I'll only give the link via DM. Please note, however, that they are all either in Tagalog, Bisaya, and/or other local Philippine Languages and not all of them have subtitles!

I also have very nuanced relationships with all these films, since Philippine History was my undergrad of choice. But to keep this post as brief as possible, I'm not going to talk about them at length. Though I will be including trigger warnings. Also note... some of these movies kinda suck HAAHAHAHA but I had way too much fun watching them so like. Please don't tell me they suck, please. I love them too much.

Also tagging @emmylynnaa because I promised her a similar list.

This is sorted by eras in Philippine History. Enjoy! (under the cut because it got long):

Spanish Occupation Era (1565 to 1898)

GomBurZa (2023) – A film following the GomBurZa, the three native Filipino Roman Catholic priests Gomez, Burgos, and Zamora executed during the latter years of the Spanish colonial era. TW: period typical violence. Furthermore, this is a Jesuit produced film so like. Once again. Take it with a grain of salt.

Jose Rizal (1998) - Jose Rizal's life and works are recounted through a series of non-linear flashbacks which reflect on various aspects of his life - as writer, propagandist, lover, friend, brother, doctor, and the man that inspired a revolution. Available on MUBI. TW: depiction of sexual assault by a priest. I also have a love-hate relationship with this film because on one hand, literally shaped my love of history. On the other hand, it is the MOST idealistic depiction of Jose Rizal ever + very historically inaccurate in many places, please watch this with a grain of salt.

Maria Clara at Ibarra (2022 – 2023) – A series about a girl from the 21st century who is magically transported into Jose Rizal’s famous novels Noli me Tangere and El Filibusterismo (you know, the novels that helped spark the Filipino Revolution against the Spanish). The synopsis sounds cheesy but trust me, it’s very good. Available to watch on the GMA official webpage. I just don’t know if you can access it outside of the country. TW: rape, abuses of the Catholic church, period typical violence, abuses of Spanish colonialists. A personal favorite—the costumes? Divine. And the character arcs are also really lovely. Helps you understand Philippine contemporary culture, too.

Katipunan: TV Mini Series (2013) – A mini-series depicting the creation of the Kataastaasan Kagalang-galang na Katipunan ng mga Anak ng Bayan (or the KKK—no, not the white supremacist group; that’s unfair, by the way, we did it first), the revolutionary organization founded in 1892 by Filipino Nationalists against Spanish Colonialization. Available to watch on the GMA official webpage. I just don’t know if you can access it outside of the country. TW: depictions of rape aftermath by Spanish soldiers, period typical violence, torture, graphic depictions of a corpse. This is a personal favorite of mine.

Hele sa Hiwagang Hapis/A Lullaby to the Sorrowful Mystery (2016) - Andrés Bonifacio is celebrated as the father of the Philippines Revolution against Spanish colonial rule. This eight-hour epic examines this myth, undertaking an expedition into history through various interwoven narrative threads, held together by an exploration of the individual’s role in history. Available on Mubi. TW: it is literally eight hours long. But that’s Lav Diaz for you. I love him, but oh my god is he an acquired taste.

Ang Kababaihan ng Malolos (2014) - The saga of the 20 Filipino women who petitioned for the opening of a school in a time when women weren’t given the chance to do so.

Ganito Kami Noon... Paano Kayo Ngayon? (1976) – Set during the end of Spanish colonization and the start of American colonization. After his mother's death, the simple-minded and naïve Kulas (Christopher De Leon) begins his much-awaited trip to Manila. On his way to Manila, he mindlessly takes on the mission of retrieving a friar's son and bringing him to the friar's residence.

Mallari (2023) - A horror film chronicling the deeds of the first recorded serial killer in the Philippines. This film spans decades, all the way up to present day. It's kinda stupid. Like. Really stupid. That's ok. We watch it because we want to see Piolo Pascual and JC Santos covered in blood. TW: oh my god so many bodies and so much gore.

Filipino-American War and America Occupation (1899 – 1940s) (this era has the best films, actually, if you want a place to start and start strong? start here)

Amigo (2010) - A local leader of a small Filipino barangay must decide whether to keep the peace with the American troops occupying his village or join the insurgency with his brother and son. TW: racism, sexual harassment, graphic depictions of corpses, gore, period typical violence.

Heneral Luna (2015) - Set during the Philippine-American war, Heneral Luna follows the life of one of Philippine History's most brilliant soldier, General Antonio Luna, as he tries to lead his countrymen against colonial masters new and old, and to rise above their own raging disputes to fulfill the promise of the Philippine Revolution. Available on Netflix. TW: short scene depicting the aftermath of sexual assault, period typical violence, and graphic depictions of a corpse. Again, one of my favorites. I have so many happy memories of this film + the fandom it birthed! I miss it sometimes.

Angelito (2018) – The short film that bridges both Heneral Luna and Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral, depicting the brothers Manuel and Jose Bernal – Antonio Luna’s aides-de-camp – and their youngest brother Angel, two days before the General’s assassination. This film you can find on Youtube!

Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2019) – The sequel of Heneral Luna, this film follows the story of Gregorio 'Goyo' del Pilar, one of the youngest Generals during the Philippine-American War who fought in the historic Battle of Tirad Pass. Available on Netflix. TW: short scenes of torture, period typical violence, and graphic depictions of a corpse. Again, a personal favorite for the same reasons stated above. Though it’s not as strong as Heneral Luna, I gotta say.

Ang Larawan (2017) - In a musical tale about standing together against materialism, two impoverished sisters anguish over whether or not to sell a painting, the final masterpiece by their recluse father. A bitter struggle for survival against betrayal set in pre-World War II Manila. A personal favorite, oh my god. This film. Oh my god, this film.

World War 2 and its aftermath (1940 – 1950)

Quezon’s Game (2018) - In 1938, Philippine President Manuel L. Quezon, military adviser Dwight D. Eisenhower, along with other notable figures, set out to rescue Jewish refugees fleeing Nazi Germany. Quezon simultaneously deals with a relapse of tuberculosis. Available on Amazon Prime. TW: talk of genocide and short scenes depicting the murder of Jewish people by the Nazis.

Tatlong Taong Walang Dios (1976) - A woman falls in love with a Japanese soldier during the Japanese Occupation in the Philippines; the whole town turns against her. TW: rape. Think Malena.

Oro, Plata, Mata (1982) - Set in the Philippine island of Negros during World War II, it tells the story of how two hacendero families cope with the changes brought about by the war. TW: rape

Kusina (2016) – Her kitchen. The silent witness to the life and love of Juanita. It is her sanctuary, the place where she creates dishes for her family, friends, even enemies and strangers. Through cooking, she gets to know the people around her. TW: violent child birth, death of mother in child birth, sexual harassment by Japanese soldiers. This spans multiple decades, all the way up to Martial Law.

In My Mother’s Skin (2023) - Stranded in the Philippines during World War II, a young girl finds that her duty to protect her dying mother is complicated by her misplaced trust in a beguiling, flesh-eating fairy. Available on Amazon Prime. TW: body horror, gore, explicit depictions of a corpse, period typical violence.

Markova: Comfort Gay (2000) – A coming of age drama film loosely based on the life of Walter Dempster Jr., the last surviving Filipino “comfort gay” (male sex slaves for the Imperial Japanese Army) from World War II. TW: CSA, wartime systemic rape, rape.

Comfort Women: A Cry for Justice (1994) – The story of how two sisters and the rest of the women of Sta. Monica are forced into sex slavery by Japanese soldiers during World War 2. TW: wartime systemic rape, rape, and period typical violence.

Seklusyon (2016) - In 1947, a group of deacons (aspiring priests) on their last week of training are sent to a remote monastery to live in seclusion for seven days to protect them from the devil, who on the last few days of training attempts to break the will of deacons to make them reconsider their choice of becoming priests. During their seclusion, a little girl named Anghela, believed by locals to be a living saint because of her healing abilities, appears at the monastery seeking refuge. Available on Amazon. TW: pedophilia, gore, body horror, Catholicism, religious horror.

Corazon: Ang Unang Aswang (2012) - A psychological thriller film detailing the psychological breakdown of a woman struggling with infertility in post-war Philippines. If you want to see women go feral, this is fun.

Martial Law (1970 – 1980) (actually, you know what? I lied. This era is the era with the best films. God, these are CLASSICS and are the ones that’ll help you understand contemporary Philippine culture the most; definitely start here)

Manila, sa mga Kuko ng Liwanag (1975) - Júlio Madiaga, a 'provinciano', arrives in Manila to search for his beloved, Ligaya. TW: coerced sex work, sexual abuse. Once again, a Filipino cinema classic.

Insiang (1976) - After a teenager is raped by her mother's boyfriend, she sets out to exact revenge on anyone who has hurt her. TW: I mean. It says it right there. Though it’s not actually shown on screen, it is very heavily implied. She doesn’t die in the end, if you’re wondering.

Dekada ’70 (2002) - A middle-class Filipino family struggles to survive in the era of dictatorship. This is a fucking classic in Filipino cinema. Available on MUBI. TW: sexual harrassment, discussion of torture, depictions of wounds and beatings, period typical violence. Martial Law was rough.

Aparisyon (2012) – A psychological drama film set in early 1970s, where the story about the nuns in the period immediately preceding the declaration of martial law by Ferdinand Marcos. The film’s director, Isabel Sandoval, is a transgender woman and an absolute visionary. Her other films Senorita (2011) and Lingua Franca (2019) are also very good, please check it out. All films are available for streaming through the Criterion Channel. TW: rape, religious trauma, period typical violence, Catholicism.

Lihis (2013) - Set in the 70’s during the darkest hours of Philippine History, we follow the story of two young NPA warriors who find themselves entangled in a web of frustration, despair and victory as they fight not only for democracy but also their love for each other. Available on MUBI. TW: Infidelity.

Barber’s Tales (2014) - In a rural town in the Philippines during the Marcos dictatorship, the newly widowed Marilou inherits the town's only barbershop from her husband- a business that has been passed down by generations of men in her husband's family. With no other means of support, she musters the courage to run the barbershop.

Dahling Nick (2015) - Dahling Nick is a docu-drama exploring the life and works of National Artist for Literature Nick Joaquin, who only accepted the National Artist Award on the condition that the Marcos administration release a well-known writer who was being unjustly detained during Martial Law. I love Nick Joaquin. He’s shaped my understanding of the Magical Realist genre far more than any of his contemporaries have. This film is notoriously difficult to get your hands on, so I suggest going to read his anthology by Penguin Classics called the Tropical Gothic instead!

Respeto (2017) - Hendrix is a poor aspiring rapper who wants to make a name for himself in the underground rap battle scene and gain respect in the community. After attempting to rob a second-hand bookstore in the neighborhood, he is discovered by the owner, Doc, an old poet with a haunted past as a dissident. Not necessarily period, but definitely has its roots in Martial Law.

Liway (2018) – A film about the kip, a young boy growing up in a prison as the son of anti-Marcos dissident Cecilia Flores-Oebanda, better known as Commander Liway, during the waning days of the Marcos dictatorship. It is currently streaming on Youtube!

The Kingmaker (2019) - is a 2019 documentary film written and directed by Lauren Greenfield, featuring the political career of Imelda Marcos with a focus on the Marcos family's efforts to rehabilitate the family's image and to return to political power, including her plans to see her son, Bongbong, become President of the Philippines, and the alliance that Bongbong and Imee Marcos established with Rodrigo Duterte in his bid to win the 2016 Philippine presidential election. Available on Youtube! if outside of the Philippines, use VPN.

1980s – 2000s Philippines

Misteryo sa Tuwa (1984) - The fortunes of three impoverished friends and their families abruptly change after an airplane crashes in a nearby mountain.

Alpha Kappa Omega Batch ’81 (1982) – A psychological drama film depicting the titular fraternity's harsh initiation of new batch members as seen through the eyes of pre-med student Sid Lucero. TW: hazing, torture, psychological torture. It’s fucked up, actually.

Himala (1982) – During a total eclipse Elsa, a young girl from rural Philippines, allegedly witnesses an apparition of the Virgin Mary on top of the hill where, as an infant, she was found and adopted by Saling. Said visions change her life and cause a sensation hysteria in a poor, isolated northern village in the midst of drought. TW: rape, religious fanaticism, religious trauma.

Adela (2008) - The story of Adela, which takes place in the span of one day, is a heartbreaking story of a woman who longs for the company of her loved ones. This isn’t actually period. This film just breaks my heart. And of course, it has acting legend Anita Linda in it. How could I not recommend it?

Now Showing (2008) - Rita is named after a famous American movie star whom her late, former actress grandmother once adored. She lives in one of Manila’s oldest districts with her mother and aunt. Years later, she is still the same girl enamoured with television, now tending to her aunt’s stall selling pirated DVDs.

Elegy to the Visitor from the Revolution (2011) - A woman from the end of the 19th century visits modern day Philippines and observes three interwoven stories: that of a prostitute, a group of criminals and a musician. This is another Lav Diaz one. It’s long.

K’na The Dreamweaver (2014) - K’na is a young woman coming into her own in the mountains of South Cotabato, where the T’boli live, overlooking the majestic and mystical Lake Sebu. She is part of the royal family of the South bank of the lake, part of the clan that was banished from the North Bank centuries ago after what the elders call The Great Betrayal. At a young age, K’na, is trained in the art of weaving the T’bolit’nalak. The design of the t’nalak fabric comes from the visions granted by Fu Dalu, the goddess of abaca, only to deserving women who become dreamweavers. K’na’s grandmother, Be Lamfey, is the village’s last master dreamweaver. When Be Lamfey dies, the gift of dreamweaving is passed to K’na and her father, LobongDitan, decides to put an end to the warring clans of Lake Sebu once and for all by arranging a marriage between K’na and Kagis, the heir to the throne of North bank. Meanwhile, K’na has fallen in love with Silaw, a childhood friend whose family supplies the finest abaca fibers to the dreamweavers. Silaw leaves love messages for her by tying bits of abaca thread to a tree outside K’na’s window. As the marriage grows near, a revolution brews among those who do not believe in the union of the two royal clans.

Smaller and Smaller Circles (2017) - Two Jesuit priests, Gus Saenz and Jerome Lucero perform forensic work to solve the mystery revolving around the murders of young boys in Payatas, one of Metro Manila's biggest slum areas. While dealing with the systematic corruption of the government, church, and the elite, the two priests delve into criminal profiling, crime scene investigation, and forensic analysis to solve the killings, and eventually, find the murderer. Available on Netflix. TW: child death, talk of child sexual abuse at the hands of the Catholic Church and at the hands of teachers, graphic depictions of a corpse, film also triggering to folks who suffer from claustrophobia.

Billie and Emma (2018) – An LGBT coming of age story set in the mid-1990s featuring two teenaged girls Billie and Emma as they grapple with topics such as sexuality, family, religion, unplanned pregnancy, and the uncertainty of the future.

#philippine cinema #filipino cinema #film recommendations #film rec #filipino period dramas #period dramas #philippine history #filipino history #please heed the tags there's a lot of violence in there #we have a very violent history

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paperclipninja · 8 months

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Ok, I don't know exactly where this is going but I can't stop thinking about the fact we got the Crowley/Aziraphale meet-cute in the opening of season 2 and the way the layers of storytelling utilised the same literary conventions our fave demon and angel were inspired by when trying and get Nina and Maggie together.

We get to see Aziraphale and Crowley's understanding of romance and love, or more importantly, their understanding of what they think it should look like, through their misguided set up attempts, and this primarily reveals to us, a) they're both hopeless romantics and b) they have no idea about the subtle and real indicators of love or a burgeoning relationship between two people. But that's ok, they're celestials whose only reference points are books, films and each other (the most unreliable sources of all, exhibit a: Aziraphale telling Crowley Maggie has a 'pash' on Nina).

You know who does know about those subtle indictors of love and blossoming romance? The very human people watching the show. And so throughout the season we witness a series of tropes and moments that indicate Aziraphale and Crowley are indeed the ones whose love story is unfolding, and as viewers we are drawn into certain conventions that we are conditioned to assume will play out and resolve in a particular way. The nebulae creating meet-cute, the ongoing forbidden relationship that continues to build, the friends to lovers dynamic through the centuries and of course, the comfortable and cosy present-day lives, with 'our car' and 'our bookshop' and drinks at pubs and a relatively open existence together.

With each insight into the past, we catch the cues that indicate the developing affection, trust and care between the two; the way Aziraphale looks at Crowley when he realises the crows are goats, the way Aziraphale and Crowley cover for each other with Job's children, the bullet catch ('nough said) and the drinking of wine afterwards. When humans engage with literature or film, we understand the subtext of such moments, something angels and demons seem to miss as they focus on the overt gestures of romance and love in storytelling as confirmation of its existence.

In the present day, its the perching on the same chair, Crowley knowing the angel's different tones, the way they pop into the room at the back of the shop for private conversations, Aziraphale grabbing Crowley's arm, Crowley answering the bookshop phone with, 'Fell's bookshop, we probably don't have what you're looking for and we wouldn't sell it to you anyway'. While these are only a few of the prompts we are given, our brains piece together this storytelling along with the body language and expressions throughout, understand that all these aspects combined flag a romantic relationship developing and so we are swept up in the love story.

The way the flashbacks are interwoven with the present day is disorientating, because we are simultaneously seeing the sweetness and complexity of the developing relationship over time while in the present, Aziraphale and Crowley begin to fall out of step. Yes it starts with Gabriel's arrival and Crowley vs. Aziraphale's reactions and responses (there are many excellent posts that discuss this in great detail), but any misalignment isn't happening all at once, it in itself is like a dance; they move apart but then move together again, as an audience we think oh no, tension! oh good, that's resolved! However the neat trick here is that with each move apart as the individual characters undertake their own journey within the story, the distance grows a little greater. Meanwhile the interactions between the two characters do not necessarily shift dramatically and the set up through the storytelling still suggests that any threats are ones they will face together and it will be ok in the end.

Even the ball, I wanted to be all *swoon* and swept up. Everything that was happening on my screen told my brain that it should be feeling excited and full of all the feelings of seeing these characters finally starting to make a move, like I should be feeling giddy like Aziraphale seems to be because, just like the attendees at the ball and the very literature that inspired it, there's the music and the soft lighting and the smitten little angel face. But it's all those things and also none of those things, because as has been so brilliantly pointed out in this insight, this is all juxtaposed with the demon invasion happening outside and Crowley's futile attempts to convey the seriousness of the situation to Aziraphale. Crowley is doing the movements but he's not part of their dance in that moment, the dance they've been doing for centuries, and as a viewer it feels off kilter.

But we've seen their story unfold, we know that the love and the relationship is all there, and once again we see Aziraphale and Crowley fend off Heaven and Hell, both taking individual risks to do so and protect each other. Heck, we see that an angel and demon can put their differences aside and disapparate off into the universe together, our brains are poised, but also wary at this point because it can't be this easy, can it?

Crowley has to have it explained to him why their plan didn't work, Maggie and Nina sit him down to do so, and in that moment we are also being told that you can't just be pushed together, the timing has to be right (cue small alarm ringing in the back of my head). Despite this, and we know Metatron is never good news, we, as viewers, are held precariously in the hand of the storyteller as Crowley's emotional declaration clashes with Aziraphale's news in a way that side steps the expectations that have been building throughout the season. The final moment of Aziraphale leaving hits SO hard because the expectations many of the storytelling conventions set in motion are subverted at the very last minute. And it's absolutely brilliant.

Just to be clear, I know there is far more complexity in the show, the characters and the storytelling, and tbh I don't even know if any of this rambling makes sense. But the fact is, my tiny mind is just awestruck at the layers of meta in the way our no.1 angel and demon are calling on literary conventions to try to make two people fall in love, while we're watching these conventions in action showing us two people falling in love. The result?

The most incredible tension, yes between the characters and their sudden divergence (which was actually not so sudden after all, we were just a bit distracted), but also tension in the storytelling as the duality of the love story and the individual character stories collide head first in that final moment and we are left trying to untangle our expectations from the reality of what has unfolded.

(that last paragraph should probably have been the whole post honestly)

#good omens #good omens meta #aziraphale #crowley #neil gaiman #this is a very rambly ramble #and it may not make sense outside my sleep deprivation #but I needed to get it out #good omens spoilers

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this-girl-with-glasses · 2 months

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I watched “One Day” back in 2011 in a small theatre in my hometown when I was 15. I watched it because I liked the OneRepublic song in the trailer and I loved Anne Hathaway.

I remember sitting in the theatre falling in love with the characters and the story and I remember very vividly spending the last 20-30 minutes of the movie full on sobbing. I’ve loved this movie (despite the less than favorable reviews) because it made me FEEL SO HARD.

And I was scared when I found out they were remaking it as a tv series. First, because it felt too soon and then because I was worried they wouldn’t be able to do it right. SO many remakes have been absolute duds.

But WOW. Absolutely magnificent. I just finished the last few episodes and I’ve fallen in love all over again.

The interwoven flashbacks in the final episode, the scene with the boxes, CHRISTMAS.

I can’t wait to watch it again. But not right away, because I need to emotionally recover a little bit first.

#one day #one day netflix #one day spoilers #dexter and emma #emma x dexter

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lullabyes22-blog · 6 months

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Arcane Fanfic Scenarios

Fic scenarios that will probs never get written but are fun to imagine:

Bobby Pins and Angel Wings: Five times Jinx and Ekko nearly kissed - and the one time they did. Bittersweet snippets of childhood games and cozy rooftop chats, told in flashback form. All interwoven with Jinx and Ekko going all-out during a shoot-out in the present day.

Category: Angst, Fluff, Violence.

Ships: Jinx x Ekko

Some Like it Hot: Crack oneshot. Silco makes a guest appearance on Hot Ones and dishes out the complexities of revolution and the struggles of running the drug trade and being a single father - all while absolutely devouring the ghost peppers.

Y'all. This is Zaun. You expect them not to have spicy food?

Ends with Sean Evans going utterly non-verbal after trying one of Zaun's own homebrewed concoctions... while Silco chugs a glass of yogurt and smiles slyly for the cameras.

And then gets the hiccups<3

Category: Crack, Humor, Politics.

Ships: Zaun x Spicy cuisine.

Arcane Meets Isekai: Character-x-Reader themed Choose Your Own Adventure where reader is flung into the chaotic and magical world of Runeterra, and ends up simultaneously stealing the hearts of a shyly brilliant scientist (Viktor) and a ruthless Undercity revolutionary (Silco). Shenanigans ensue. Multiple endings and wild scenarios. Heimerdinger's poro was hurt in the making of this story - and will be hurt again.

Category: Angst, Fluff, Crack, Smut.

Ships: Primarily Viktor x Reader and Silco x Reader. But there can be so much more.

Empires Rise and Fall: Silco and Mel and up brokering a marriage pact to keep their cities united. It's an unexpected match made in Heaven - with a dash of Hell. Also a warlord mother-in-law who refuses to keep her nose out of the marital chamber. And a step-daughter creeping like a golem in the rafters...

Drabbles of the angsty, fluffy, smutty and political variety. Plus a honeymoon in Noxus. Complete with near abductions and survived assassination attempts.

"Mawwiage. That bwessed awwangement. That dweam within a dweam..."

Category: Angst, Smut, Fluff.

Ships: Silco x Mel, Silco x Power, Mel x Politics.

Through a Glass Darkly: Extremely dark fic. Silco's life post-drowning. Details everything from his recovery, to his rise as a kingpin-on-the-make, to the development of Shimmer, to his alliance with Singed, and his plans for payback. All while he watches Vander from afar with his new family, and plots to destroy both.

Also features plenty of near run-ins with baby Powder - and a sense of fated inevitability.

The shark was always lying in wait.

Unbeknownst to him, so was fatherhood.

Category: Angst, Gore.

Ships: Silco x Vander

Snakes and Ladders: A retelling of Forward but Never Forget/XOXO from Mel's PoV. Plenty of MelJay cuteness, flashbacks of her life as a Noxian heiress, the grim legacy of Ambessa's lessons, her childhood games with Kino, and a darkly decadent slice of Mel × Silco, as her elusive arch-ally lures her deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of snakes and ladders that is Zaun...

Category: Angst, Smut, Fluff.

Ships: Mel x Jayce, Mel x Silco.

Redux: Multichapter monstrosity. A time travel AU where Jinx, twenty seven years old, is embroiled in an ongoing battle with Piltover - and with her sister Vi. Tired, disillusioned, and with only her ghosts for company, she reminisces bittersweetly about her girlhood days with Silco. Then she breaks into Ekko's workshop and steals his infamous watch, ready to tamper with it and go back all the way to the beginning, before the Day of Ash.

This time she'll make sure they all live: her parents, Vander, Vi, Silco, Ekko, Benzo, Mylo and Claggor.

Safe together.

Long story short: she miscalculates and ends up at the midway point before Vander drowns Silco in the Pilt. Now Jinx has to keep her wits and hide her secrets, as she struggles to survive in a much deadlier and more volatile Zaun. All while she ingratiates herself into their revolutionary circle, and attempts to heal the rift between its two leaders, before it can widen further.

Easier said than done when both men begin taking an interest in Jinx for their own mercenary agenda. And by the end, will slit each others' throats to see said agenda fulfilled.

Dammit.

Where is that Boy Savior when you need him?

Written as a darkly comical fic from Jinx's POV. Back-to-the-Future flavored adventures. Full of booms, oopsie-loopsies, and political commentary.

All our girl wants is to undo the jinx before it jinxes everyone. Instead, she ends up getting baby Powder quite literally 'unalived,' causing heaps of destruction, and accidentally becoming a mentor figure to young Vi. Meanwhile, as Silco's peer rather than his beloved daughter, she can't help but be confronted with glaring flaws in her pedestalized Papa's ideology. All while young Silco, convinced she's either a spy in their midst, or his very own Lady of the Lake sent to illuminate the rightness of Zaun's path, finds his extremist tendencies widening by a mile. Much like Vander's violent streak and his determination to nip Silco's plans in the bud...

A fix-it fic gone off the rails. Don't time travel, folks.

Oh, and there's a sweet Timebomb twist by the end<3

Category: Angst, Horror, Fluff, Comedy, Mood Whiplash Galore.

Ships: Ekko x Jinx, Silco x Vander, Silco x Revolution, Jinx x Chaos.

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alien-ally · 9 days

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Few final(?) musings on unknown:

i think the flashbacks interwoven bw the nc scene was a great touch. and not weird at all (but that's the point isn't it, what we've been trying to work around in our heads this whole time the shows been airing) because it shows; what was between them was between them and what is between them is between them. if that makes sense. like, the brothers thing is the main conflict, and the show hasn't shied away from its implications till now, so i dont get why it would weird anyone out atp, as in, if you've made it this far. Plus, it was to depict the journey. to highlight emotionally what is at stake when they take this leap in their relationship. seen varied opinions, this is my takeaway.

San pang has been a great character. i think it's been true this entire time, but now more people agree cause of the positive push he gives Qian in the last eps. his contribution has been invaluable pretty much throughout i'd argue. lol even though, it wasn't very agreeable in some parts.

i love wei lili.

i'm glad they dint actually go into showing the surgery. i gotta clarify; i feel like usually when this kind of reveal is made towards the end of the show, either the emotional weight of it is not unpacked properly i.e it feels rushed, or it gets sorted out within one ep with some kind of hospital montage that takes up 10 mins of the last ep. overall, just ruins the pace of the show. in unknown tho, they never undermined qian's fear, and showed a few stages of his responses too: stubborn, terrified, resigned, defeated (+most importantly, the reveal of his fear to turn out like his mother) and so on. i think that was more important than yk showing the surgery procedures itself. but it also worked to show that yuan knows how to deal with all of these qian phases and snap him out of them. plus his unwavering devotion to stand by him (and bite sense into him as per necessity). [Book spoiler(i havent read it, but know this much); Qian actually has a benign lung tumor and it is removed via surgery safely. its a hea]- So i think we can safely assume, show qian's surgery will also go safely without any complications. we got to see him consult a major doctor and hear their opinion, it's all fine, i think. (as long as he doesn't keep delaying it. but i trust yuan to take care of that)

#unknown the series #unknown the series spoilers #unknown spoilers #chris chiu #kurt huang #thingamabob #aa mine

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coelestiuminfernum · 8 months

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Ciel Phantomhive's Agency Analysis 1/3

so i recently have been thinking to myself about just what makes o!Ciel such a remarkable character worth rooting for, and how his relationship with Sebastian aids this notion.

despite the fact that Ciel kills people, often times those people are adults who were already dead-set on killing a child (him) and therefore probably not too dissimilar from his captors in his mind.

this perspective likely changes when he discovers Madame Red as Jack the Ripper. this suddenly humanizes the criminals that he's been disposing of for several years.

i want to say that it wasn’t until Noah’s Ark Circus that we start to see him arguably and ACTIVELY make “bad” decisions (killing all of those children in cages, killing Doll, perpetually lying to the circus crew that’s been nothing but nice to him, etc.)

and yet, in the ensuing arcs, he continues to evolve from this point of merciless disposal. we see him begin to spare people. particularly when he offers Snake a position at the manor at the end of book of murder. i think here, we see his guilt manifest itself. this is the one way that he can aid/spare one of the circus troupe members- while simultaneously sparing him from the grisly truth.

i'd argue that the reason why he pushes away prince soma throughout the series, and had distanced himself from macmillan after the weston arc, stems from a similar place. he is under no dissolution that darkness and imminent death follows him, it is interwoven with his fate. so, he tries to spare them by not letting himself get too close.

we also see him undergo some fairly realistic depictions of PTSD. though it’s unlikely a 10-13 year old would actually be able to act that calm, rational, and tactical under his dire circumstances and still be able to maintain this thread of his humanity the majority of the time- that sort of brings a certain charm to him. a certain innocence, almost- despite his murderous, bloody, or cruel actions. i think it makes it feel especially raw and heartbreaking the few times we do see him crack.

the terrible nightmares throughout the series, his breakdown/asthma attack in baron kelvin’s basement. refusing to be touched in flashbacks (even by sebastian) but still asking him to stay until he falls asleep (maybe just to hear someone else's breathing- to feel the presence of another being). his psychosis in the emerald witch arc, how distraught he was when his deceased twin brother showed up 3 years later and had killed his friend- we see that his past does still haunt him.

oh, do we see his guilty conscience.

particularly in the emerald witch arc.

part 2

part 3

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #ciel phantomhive character analysis #sebastian michaelis #black butler analysis #sebaciel #or at least it is to me #kuroshitsuji analysis #ciel phantomhive #black butler manga spoilers #kuroshitsuji spoilers #my posts

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heretherebedork · 2 months

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So Unknown really said "we're not gonna give one of the parings a sad/traumatic backstory/childhood, we're gonna give it to both of them!" Let the emotional journey begin!

Truly exactly what they did. Both boys so traumatized and struggling and doing their best and supporting each other and the sheer amount of love that radiates between them and how it's going to grow and change....

I mean, Wei Zhi Yuan fell in love with his brother who sacrificed himself on the boxing room floor to save him and get them free and Wei Qian has flashbacks to his mother abusing him and Wei Zhi Yuan was homeless and never makes new friends and Wei Qian works himself to the bone trying to support his family and it's just all so deeply interwoven and full of love.

And it makes sense that Wei Qian would send Wei Zhi Yuan away thinking he loves him like a little brother and that they need to be apart while Wei Zhi Yuan loves Wei Qian differently because as he's grown their relationship has changed and he's been trying to take on more of the caretaker role just like him and they need time apart to find their footing.

Because they are both traumatized and they are both struggling so differently and they need each other but they also need time apart to understand how they need each other.

I love this show so much.

#unknown the series #asked and answered

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ckret2 · 2 months

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Your fic has taken over my brain, so I decided to list everything I love about it!

First, and most importantly, the characterization. You’ve captured each character’s essence in dialogue and description. Everyone behaves naturally, as they would in the show, and makes independent choices (ie Soos and Melody starting an anime club with McGucket, and Pacific working to support her alpacas). No matter how small a role they play, everyone has their own emotional conflict. This makes every character feel like a real person who exists outside of the main POV.

Second, the tone. It balances absurd humor and seriousness perfectly. I’ve experienced emotional whiplash multiple times (in a good way!). Plus, I love the scene breaks for flashbacks and time skips; they make it feel like I’m watching an actual episode of Gravity Falls!

Third, everything is set up well in advance. When revelations unfold, they feel connected to previous events. Nothing comes out of the blue, and every detail is important! I can connect the dots and theorize about each clue that comes up. And when something appears multiple times, I can be sure that a Chekhov’s Gun is in the works.

Next on the list is relationships: characters have dynamic interactions with each other, and everything is loaded with subtext. It’s fun to theorize about where things will go next. Because the characterizations are spot-on, every person sees things a little differently, and it shows in their interactions. Bill, especially, has an alien worldview, and his relationships with others are fascinating!

This leads to your portrayal of Bill and his development. I could write a whole essay about this specifically! Bill is a study in dichotomy: he can act as both a flat, two-dimensional villain and a tragic character. The way you write him captures all of this. He is infuriating and hilarious, sinister and pitiful, evil and sympathetic. His intelligence and ego are beautifully contrasted by his sheer stupidity.

Bill starts as such an awful person, and your fic reflects this. His development is slow, but interwoven with hints of positive change. The latest chapter shows he’s growing to appreciate Mabel and her kindness. I can see how eventually, he grows to become a better person.

Man, I wish this was an actual English assignment. I could write about this for hours! Anyways, thanks so much for pouring your heart into this fic. It’s truly amazing, and I can’t wait to see where it goes next!

holy shit 😭😭😭 Thank you so MUCH!! This means so much to me to hear. I wish I could think of more to say but it would probably be a whole page of heart emojis lmao. This is gonna fuel my writing for the rest of the day

(Credit where credit's due: Soos, Melody, and Fiddleford's anime club is @astro-b-o-y-d's idea, and I loved it so much I DMed him like "this is brilliant, could I use it too plz?" Because I thought the same thing, yeah that's absolutely something they would do together off screen.)

#perpetuallylate1890 #ask #about my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

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rynne · 2 years

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This is something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a long time, but I wrote this out now thanks to @righteousinadversity’s post about the Yiling Laozu not being the Mr. Hyde to WWX’s Dr. Jekyll. I was going to add on to that one, but this felt like enough of a tangent that it should be its own post. Still, thanks to Sreya for inspiring me to finally get this off my chest.

The conflation of WWX’s Yiling Laozu era with his use of guidao is one of my biggest pet peeves in this fandom, because it ultimately buys into cultivation world propaganda about WWX and therefore feels like it misses the entire point of the novel.

Like, first there are the factual inaccuracies -- WWX does not even get the title until he’s living in the Burial Mounds with the Wens. No one actually knows that he learned his new cultivation in the Burial Mounds at this point. He just tells JC he was in “a hell of a place” when he returns, and JC didn’t even know what he meant because he asked him if it was Qishan or Nightless City. For the entire war, no one has any reason to associate WWX with Yiling.

This means that in the beginning, it’s not his use of guidao that gets him his title. The conflation of the two becomes a thing later and is used to demonize (literally, since the designation of “modao” came from the cultivation world, not WWX) the cultivation path he created.

The whole structure of the novel is in fact used to undermine the “Yiling Laozu is WWX’s evil alter ego” narrative. The effect of having those interwoven flashbacks is to first present the dominant narrative and then undermine that narrative by showing what really happened. The whole conceit of the structure is pretty much destroyed if readers’ ultimate conclusion is that actually, the dominant narrative is right. We are not supposed to read the flashbacks and decide that yeah, the Yiling Laozu was in fact evil.

We are supposed to read hundreds of thousands of words of people calling the Yiling Laozu evil...and then finding out he earned that title as a protector. His title actually came not from use of his cultivation during the war, however scary he was, but from protecting a bunch of people on a mountain.

People in fandom taking “Evil Yiling Laozu” at face value feels like them taking the title of the novel at face value. People may call WWX the “grandmaster of demonic cultivation/modao zushi,” but using that as the novel’s title is ironic, used to highlight the disconnect between the presentation and the reality.

The “Evil Yiling Laozu” narrative is cultivation world propaganda, and I am continually tired of how much anti-WWX cultivation world propaganda the fandom continually buys into.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #a little bit salty #but I dislike the way people refer to wwx's yllz era #as the whole time he uses guidao #it's an easy shorthand #but it's a shorthand that misses important points #and I don't like it

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looniecartooni · 6 months

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So... we know Dimitri is a big part of the story. So much so that the devs will share little to no information about him (obviously not to spoil anything). We will see him in flashbacks and supposedly parts of the main game- maybe even the sequel. He is also confirmed to be an antagonist in the game. Thus- there are two possible roles (that could coexist) that this pyromaniac chimera may play.

He could be a. A recurring antagonist in every chapter either in flashback and/or the main plotline, or/and b. the final antagonist that connects the whole story together for it's grand conclusion. While every major antagonist has a rather stand-alone chapter that contribute to the overall story of Billie, we do not have enough to go on Dimitri to know whether or not he will be the one to wrap up Billie's storyline- but let's argue this further with what we do know:

Both Billie and Dimitri want to be heroes. Both almost chase acceptance by trying to be a hero. And they've ended up hurting people in the process.

Billie as we know is a bit of an outcast in her village because she has uncontrollable powers, a love/need for adventure, and because she doesn't exactly adhere to the rules and roles of the village. Reading about her dad and Aristotle inspires her to want to be a hero, but her journey will supposedly lead her to some hard truths about heroism. They've accidently hurt people and unintentionally caused issues that have hurt others and may continue to do so to fight what she believes or is told are forces of bad. Many who probably have had tragic circumstances that lead them to where they are.

Dimitri, from what little we know of him, intentionally causes harm to people so he can be the hero. This behavior grants him the positive attention a hero would get that having someone else be the hero makes it almost competitive (if I am not over reading his introduction too much).

youtube

Already we can see how Billie and Dimitri's ideologies are somewhat overlapping, yet very much clash with one another. Billie wants to follow in her dad's footsteps and learn how to be more of the person she wants to be while Dimitri is quite literally living a lie. If he is meant to be a final antithesis to Billie- we could assume that perhaps he was outcasted or berated much like Billie for not fitting in.

That would not be too far off given that he is one of the few chimera characters we have seen along with the tail that speaks his unfiltered thoughts (which he can't control!), but we've also seen many hints at chimera-like god creatures in Billie Bust Up such as one Elaine sort of prays to:

Which means Dimitri could a. be some sort of magical creature or demigod or higher and/or b. have the expectation to be some kind of heroic god or god-like creature because he looks like one. Or/and perhaps c. being a chimera and seeing how many other chimeras are praised, the power/idea of that got to his head and he now has to constantly keep up that reputation for his own ego.

No matter how you view it- whether Dimitri pretends a hero because he's afraid of being outcasted and alone, trying to live up to the expectations of people like him that are literally seen as gods, or is just fueled by his own ego- or all of the above and maybe plus some- you could relate that to or contrast it to Billie.

Billie is an outcast to her people, she has a great amount of power she has no control over, and wants to- almost feels the need to walk in her father's footsteps to get a proper grasp on her powers or prove that she's able to be one. Billie wants to have control over her life and herself, to prove her self-worth. Katie often compares her to Hercules from Disney's Hercules who doesn't want to be a burden with his strength.

We may see Dimitri's story interwoven with Billie's not just in flashbacks, but perhaps other characters as well. It's a little unclear if Dimitri and Billie will meet face to face- it's likely they will since he's integral to the plot and the possible antithesis to Billie. But we may see more of or learn more about Dimitri through other characters as well. There is still some speculation (on my end mostly) on there being a possible link between Fantoccio and Dimitri given that they are vaguely similar in color pallets and personality. And given that Fantoccio is the main antagonist before the fifth and final chapter, if Dimitri turns out to be the final boss- that may cause the need for some needed tension or controversy over how Billie takes on her possible antithesis (however that does play out-if it plays out).

Dimitri could perhaps be connected to other characters as well- perhaps being the reason why some characters have gems (except for maybe Barnaby- but that doesn't mean Barnaby hadn't tried to kill him or something at one point).

It's still very hard to tell what exactly Dimitri's role is in the main storyline of the game and only vaguely understood in flashbacks with Aristotle and Arthur. When the game comes out, it may be revealed that none of what I just speculated was true and Dimitri's just a victim of the zombie infestation or partying in Barnaby's mansion. Or perhaps was imprisoned at Claw Bay at some point or Dutch somehow managed to wrangle him to be at the hotel. Or maybe none or all of the above- who can tell?

All we truly know is Dimitri does have a big role to play. And we'll just have to wait until the game to truly find out.

#billie bust up dimitri #bbu dimitri #bbu billie #bbu theory #billie bust up #bbu #'m pretty sure I forgot or ommited a couple pieces of info- but this is what I managed to scrounge up at the top of my head #I put on concentration music to do homework and instead my brain barfed this so...#dang it autism- you give me the insight to speculate things unrelated to my studies!#Youtube

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cowboy-robooty · 3 months

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Robooty Reviews: Oni To Tengoku (8.9/10) ROBOOTY PERSONAL FAVORITE

(in my heart its a 10/10)

Atsurou Aoki is an english teacher who has some mad fuckin self esteem issues. hes our beautiful pathetic man protag and he ends up tangled up in a relationship of sorts with the school nurse, Manabu Tengoku. Its a dry premise and honestly the first volume requires you to sludge through a lot of average yaoi evil shit but please please please im begging you endure okay. i have been an oni to tengoku-er since 2019 and ive been following the development of the sequel (oni to tengoku sai) and the (now third) sequel (oni to tengoku kyuu) of this series and GOD. ILL BE REAL IM A MANIAC AND PROBABLY GOT A LOT MORE OUT OF THIS SERIES THAN THE AUTHOR INTENDED AT ALL BUT IDGAF PLEASE READ IT PERHAPS YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SAME ENLIGHTENING AS ME. READ MORE HAS SPOILERS BE WARNED (PART 1 CUZ OF TUMBLR IMAGE LIMIT)

this will be a little different than usual because i have a whole lot to say about aoki and tengoku. Really, a lot of this will be just talking about how and why i like their relationship so if you end up liking this you should most definately read the full manga to experience it for yourself

Despite all the fuckin bullshit of the first volume, the manga is really fucking good at interweving in its core themes and setting up the psychological basis of Aoki. Aoki was abused by his mother as a child, but i think the depiction of abuse is really realistic because even though she whittles down his self esteem and makes him feel worthless she hugs him afterwards and still is motherly towards him, this aoki doesnt hate his mother and fully cut her off per say but she is a demon to him. its pretty realistic imo where parents can do awful things but they buy you a donut and then its like ermm well.. they bought me a donut and do this in my best interest so its okay. Aoki is fucked in the head though. because he doesnt feel like he can be loved deep down and his entire career path is something he chose only because it was expected of him by his family (and his entire life is grasping at straws in an attempt to not disappoint people)

he wants more than anything to just not be an embarassment and be "worthy" of being loved. I like how this is depicted because again it feels more realistic in that he isnt outwardly a freak about it or anything he doesnt have breakdowns in public or anything thats enough to warrent himself to feel like he needs to get help. but he definately does need help of some sort because his way of thinking and the constant guilt and shame he feels is just something thats normal to him now. hes just tired and a bit worn down, but its not like anything is exceptionally bad, since humans are surprisingly adaptable and hes just lived with feeling like hes an embarassment who disappoints people his entire life so its norm.

Tengoku obviously doesnt mean it in the way aoki is taking is. but its things like this that make the themes feel well interwoven to me. Aoki doesnt look tengoku in the eye and say "i have mommy issues and feel like being an embarassment is the reason i cant be loved" but he still shows it in a way that we the audience can see he means, since we can put together aoki's lifestyle and viewpoint from his inner dialogues and flashbacks to his mother's abuse. Aoki wants more than anything else to be a good boy because only good boys can be loved. and unfortunately for aoki san this kind of means he has developed a praise kink and good boy fetish which tengoku just naturally leans towards so erm haha tengoku just pushing those buttons all willy nilly!

Tengoku isnt an idiot though, as he pursues aoki he can definately connect the dots and all that shit for how aoki ticks. This isnt exactly hard to do anyways, since aoki passively talks about himself to tengoku during non crazy scenes and its not like hes an enigma or anything because again, he thinks that the way he lives is completely normal for a guy like him. Tengoku likes aoki and chases him and aoki isnt exactly a willing participant. Tengoku likes aoki because hes a fun plaything and interesting and pure hearted and everything tengoku is not and aoki begins to form an affection for tengoku because he itches the mental illness brain damage spot by pursuing and wanting him consistently and not getting bored.

These panels are true brain damage pages because it hits upon how all aoki wants is for someone to look at him directly and still want him. His greatest wish (that he doesnt even believe could come true at the bottom of his heart) is to have someone that could see him for who he is and despite all his flaws. despite how hes useless, despite how hes not good at anything (to him), despite how hes bad at relationships, despite how he cant talk with other people, and despite what an embarassment he is, still love and want him. Seriously, I must recommend you to read this for yourself. Theres the yaoi bullshit sludge but every chapter has bits and pieces of Aoki's mindset that is an insanely good representation and depiction of how that kind of mentality and acceptance is like.

Volume 2 is where things really pick up. Yaoi sludge has been toned down to make way for FUCKING SWAG!!!! the set up for aoki's mentality is done now were onto getting into the way tengoku and aoki's personalities actually interact with eachother. Along with dipping into tengokus crazy bitch syndrome

Over this volume, were shown that actually aoki and tengoku are a good match for eachother. At least, tengoku provides something special for aoki in that he doesnt know from personal experience the feeling of needing to earn love, but because of that he bounces off well with aoki because he shows basic interest in going "well your feelings and thoughts do matter though. youre a person too". this isnt explicitly said, but its little things liks this that end up making aoki fall in love with him. Aoki falling in love with tengoku is also interesting because this is his first time actively liking someone else because its what he wants, not because its what the other person expects. Despite how terrible their relationship was at first, it set a ground where Aoki was able to create a strong connection with someone without the initial fear of disappointing them since he even didnt like tengoku at first. Honestly with the way Aoki is I think that is why hes able to love tengoku out of his volition, since he already has shown his shameful parts to him and tengoku still wants him-- in fact tengoku is the only person who has seen Aoki's shame and refused to let him go, this lets Aoki take a breather and think about what HE desires for once instead of how to keep someone with him or do whats good for the other person/not shameful.

Also a new teacher is introduced who actually is one of the many guys Tengoku had play-boyed before who became a teacher just so he could try to win tengokus love lol. but he serves as a plot device for that yaoi jealousy arc WOOOHOOOO! I love the jealousy chapter a lot though because BOTH CHARACTERS experience jealousy in their own way. I'm not sure if what Aoki experiences can be classified under jealousy or not, but ill just say it is because thats easier. The chapter is wonderfully done though because see Tengoku has always been the one who chases Aoki but also the one who reminds him that he doesnt fall in love this is just a sex playboy thing. Aoki is the one who has fallen in love and does show this by treating Tengoku specially, but Tengoku obviously doesnt reciprocate this since the way he acts at least is more like Aoki is his favorite of a bunch of toys rather than his one and only like how Aoki sees him. Aoki feels bitterness over this because he wishes he could be loved by Tengoku since Tengoku is somewhat wishy washy and gives Aoki just enough to keep hope but also smushes that hope by refusing a drop more. (this is done though bc this is fucking yaoi ofc tengoku loves aoki to bits and pieces back but tengoku is just scared of liking aoki too much and showing it too much but hold on we havent gotten to tengokus insanity yet jeeeesus christ!). Also im kind of at the tumblr 10 image limit but I think showing these next three pages are really important so ermm me when i post this and then add a reblog or two with MORE BULLSHIT. I'll properly tag the versions with my reblogs

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incomingalbatross · 3 months

Note

SINCE Beowulf is all about relationships with Uncles of one sort or another, how would you personally adapt it into a Gravity Falls episode?

HM. Excellent question!

So for "Gravity Falls episode" I am adopting the parameters of "could exist in a hypothetical season three." At this point, the first problem we run into is that when you're talking about a guy who beats up sea monsters while swimming for nine days straight, ripping off arms and crushing rib cages, etc., the obvious character for the Beowulf role is Stan. But 2013-era Stan can't be young Beowulf, obviously. And he can't really take on a nephew role regardless.

HOWEVER. Another thing about Beowulf is that it loves non-linear history being told in repeated tangents. And people bragging about past exploits.

So right now I'm thinking you try to mimic that structure by setting a story in Gravity Falls, starting with an analog to the dragon-theft. (I'm comfortable nominating any of the Pineses for the role of "disturbed a dragon for a stupid reason," though I'll admit Stan's the most likely to steal from one.) As they're fighting for their lives, Stan goes "hey, this is just like that time last spring..." cue ripple transition to a flashback and we get Stan heroically punching sea monsters to save, idk, somebody's tavern in a fishing town.

And then maybe a NESTED flashback, if you really want a Young Stan, where he fought a monster or monstrous thug on behalf of a gang he was in for five minutes.

...This flashback also means you could do some of the fun things about Loyalty and Kinship and Good Leadership that Beowulf is doing. You can't bring in actual kinship unless you go all the way back to his teens, because Young Stan was in more of a Wanderer situation, but you can present him as a metaphorical thane to somebody. Closest you can get to Beowulf's relationships with his elders.

And then that narrative proceeds in parallel with the current dragon-fighting, and obviously Stan took the lead in fighting this dragon but when all hope is lost the kids charge in and support him in the slaying, like good Young Kinsmen. And there are TWO of them so Stan doesn't even die!

(Ford... Ford might already be in the dragon's clutches. The mission might be rescuing him. Either that or he's busy doing something else to make sure they'll have a stable base to return to and bandage their wounds, because having someone responsible who's not on the front lines is also a good way to have a happier ending than Beowulf.)

Also, to mimic my first-time Beowulf experience, Stan's nested stories ideally should include a lot of interwoven and impossible-to-track tangents about people we've never heard of. ;P

#i am just riffing here feel free to give commentary #going for a little of the structure a little of the themes and MOST of the monsters #asks

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nebulous-library · 1 year

Text

my thoughts will echo your name until i see you again

Series: Tokyo Revengers Pairing: Kokonoi Hajime x Reader Word count: 5.1k Genre/Content/Tags: Not Safe For Worms - violent themes bc part of this takes place in the Bonten timeline, so if you're not comfortable witnessing Bonten!Koko put a gun in someone's mouth, now it the time to close tab, heavy manga spoilers, do not read if you haven't finished the manga, this fic will not make sense to you, not quite a soulmate au, more of an interwoven destiny kinda love, finding each other in different timelines basically, you’ll see, trust me, i promise the only thing spicy in this fic is the one big Bonten flashback, which just has like standard high level organized crime and violence type shit, u get to see koko get hella businessy and rough with someone who deserved it, yw, anyway just read the summary

[Read on AO3]

**MINORS DNI || 18+ ONLY**

Summary: You were Koko’s girl in the Bonten timeline. However, when the timeline resets, neither of you have ever met. Are you still destined to be? On a chance encounter in the Good Timeline, you stumble upon each other. You feel a magnetic pull and can’t help feeling like you know each other somehow already. “Do you think love can transcend lifetimes?”

A/N: ...I couldn't hold it back any longer, I wanted to release one of my Koko fics out into the world. This hasn't been beta-read either, I don't wanna burden my beta reader too much with all she has going on.

Once again though, if you're not cool reading about Bonten Timeline Koko blowing someone's brains out, like, literally not sexually, now is your chance to tap out.

If not, then Bone Apple Teeth, my friends.

You didn’t want to do this. You didn’t even know these people. You were only going because Chiyo’s date bailed on her at the last minute. Flaky jackass, you thought to yourself, cursing him for inadvertently sticking you with the task of attending the wedding of a pair of strangers with your friend in his stead.

Chiyo had told you all about her childhood friend and now-coworker Hina – how kind and friendly she was, how easily she lit up a room and drew people to her, how you’d absolutely love her and wouldn’t at all feel out of place at this wedding. Chiyo was right about all but one of those things.

The ceremony itself was sweet. You almost felt like you, too, had grown up with this couple and watched their love blossom into what it was now. They cared for each other dearly and it showed. Chiyo introduced you to the bride as the couple made their rounds at the reception, and she had indeed been correct in her assessment – Hina truly was a delight. The only thing Chiyo had been wrong about, though, was your ability to feel at home in this sea of countless strangers. Each of them had something deep and personal to say about the ceremony, or a story to swap about Hina and her husband and the adventures of their youth. You felt like the token fish out of water.

Your only friend in this foreign place was long gone, busy catching up with the other teachers from the elementary school, leaving you to your own devices. Rather than stand around and stick out like a sore thumb, you made your way to the open bar to busy yourself with a nice peach bellini to ease the anxiety. You sighed as you sat down on the barstool, pinching your temples as the bartender worked on your drink.

It would have been one thing if you were just alone in an unfamiliar place, but it didn’t help that you were fucking exhausted. At this point, you couldn’t recall the last time you’d had a solid night’s rest. Every time you shut your eyes, no matter how tired you were, your slumber was interrupted by strange dreams that consistently jolted you awake. Most were in the form of blurry vignettes of scenes you didn’t recognize, but that felt like memories nonetheless – low-lit tables with briefcases of bills, long drives through the city at night, taking in the view from inside the confines of some foreign luxury car, what seemed like drug deals that had potential to turn violent at any moment, crime scenes you got the sense you probably shouldn’t be at… All these little snippets would flash through your mind.

At first these visions didn’t faze you, and you’d wake up like you always did in the mornings. You chalked it up to an overly active imagination or eating too close to bedtime. You thought it was weird that you were seemingly having recurring dreams, and it frustrated you that you couldn’t pinpoint the source of them. You tried to let it go, thinking you were reading too much into it, but the dreams only got more vivid from there.

You soon became familiar with a cast of characters that would show up in these visions. You never saw exactly what they looked like, but you could tell their presences apart from one another by their mannerisms and voices – a strange sword-wielding eccentric who was all too eager for the chance to draw his blade, a duo that seemed to always at each other’s throats (probably brothers, you figured), their quiet and serious leader whose words sent a chill through your bones. These were undoubtedly dangerous men, but the strangest part was that in each of these dreams, you felt no fear. Like you belonged there. Like their presence didn’t faze you in the slightest.

There was another, perhaps the most prominent, figure present in almost every one of your dreams as of late – a man with silver hair that fell straight at his shoulder, frequently dressed in red and gold silks. He was always there, and he always brought you a sense of calmness. His voice was buttery smooth and even playful at times, sending shivers down your spine.

Your visions of him were considerably more detailed than the rest, and frankly it alarmed you. As you “saw” him more and more regularly, the less convinced you were that these were just dreams. While the others came in flashes and vignettes, of him you could see whole scenarios play out.

_____

In the most recent instance you’d seen him, you were seated beside him in the passenger seat of his Rolls-Royce, pulling up to a shady-looking building that you were almost certain was condemned. He clicked off the engine.

“Just a quick stop. You stay here,” he’d said with a kiss to the side of your head as he gathered his things – a black folio and a revolver – and headed into the towering building that loomed over you. You got the sense that he tried his best to keep you as far out of harm’s way as he could. But that didn’t mean your curiosity didn’t get the better of you.

In all fairness, you did try to be patient, but you hadn’t expected this “quick stop” to take quite so long. And to be perfectly honest, you were more unnerved by sitting alone in the alley than you were by whatever job he had gone off to take care of. You quietly unlocked the door, looking vigilantly at your surroundings, peeled yourself off the leather seat, and exited, lightly shutting the door behind you.

You removed your heels before proceeding into the building. It was dark inside, not a single soul in sight as you entered the dusty foyer. If this building was used at all, surely it wasn’t for anything that was able to operate in daylight hours. Your feet padded on the cool black and white tile as you approached the grand staircase at the center of the room. Your fingertips grazed the knob of the post at the base of the railing, and you paused, taking in your surroundings. You imagined this was once a place where important people gathered, judging by the ornate architecture and elegant mural-clad walls. The moonlight streaming in from the windows above caught each dust particle floating like feathers in the stale air, assuring you no one had congregated in this place in a good long while.

Just to be sure, you double checked that you had your knife in its holster at your thigh, before tiptoeing your way up the rich mahogany stairway. You passed the second floor, just as dead as the last, and continued on to the third, from which you swore you could hear some sort of commotion. You headed in the direction of the noise, eventually finding what appeared to be the sole lit room in the building.

You peered in the doorway.

Before you was a room with walls covered in clear plastic that was completely empty, save for an old couch pressed against the wall, and a singular chair in the center of the tarp-covered floor. Facing away from the door was a man strapped to the chair, thrashing against his restraints and trying desperately to cry out despite the gag in his mouth.

The man in red slowly walked circles around him, like a shark with its prey. The heels of his shoes clacked authoritatively with each steady stride as he read off a list of amounts of money, each considerably more than the last.

“….and finally, an ¥80,000,000 charge. Do you have any idea the kind of debt you’ve racked up, Mr. Yamada?” he interrogated, his folio snapping shut in his left hand before he tucked it gracefully under his arm.

Muffled cries were the only response.

You heard the trill of the metal chamber of his freshly-loaded revolver spinning, stopping with a click.

“Or with whom you’ve accrued it?”

The barrel was pressed firmly to the side of the restrained man’s head, and he sobbed louder.

“Bonten intends to collect. One payment method or another.” He pulled the gag out of his victim’s mouth. “Now then…any last words?”

Whatever Mr. Yamada said was barely coherent, some mixture of blubbering and pleading for his life and just a little more time.

The man in red acted quickly, kicking square against Mr. Yamada’s chest, knocking him onto his back on the floor, floundering as he begged. Cries of “no” and “please” spilled from his lips as the man you’d arrived with crouched over him, one ornate stiletto on either side of his victim’s torso, and pressed the gun between his eyes. He raked his fingers through the man’s hair, yanking back to meet his own gaze as he trailed the barrel down Mr. Yamada’s cheek, slipping it between his lips as he screamed.

“Time to pay the piper,” the gunman said teasingly, before his expression darkened in an instant. “Pick a god and pray.”

Bang.

He sighed as he rose to his full stature, looking at the darkened red splotches on his clothing, resigned to the mess and wiping down his gun with a dry portion of his sleeve.

“I hate getting my hands dirty,” he complained.

The pink-haired man quietly seated on the sofa stood up. “You say that, but you sure looked like you were having fun with it. ‘Pick a god and pray’?” he asked mockingly.

“Oh, stuff it. I may get caught up in the moment but that doesn’t mean I enjoy the mess.”

The other man simply shrugged in response. “I’m just saying you’re not as big of a buzzkill as you let them think you are. You should take it as a compliment.” He strode closer, kicking at the soiled plastic tarp as he approached the deceased. “Even if you did have to go and be all uptight about putting all this crap down.”

The silver-haired man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s because last time, somebody didn’t take precautions and it made cleanup a nightmare for everyone else,” he said pointedly.

“I take back what I said before – you are a buzzkill.”

A hush fell over the room for a brief moment, and you leaned in further to try and get a better view. The men inside, however, reacted in an instant at the patter of your feet against the floor breaking the silence. Thinking they’d been followed at the sight of your shadow, the silver-haired man quickly pointed his firearm toward the doorway as his companion drew his katana from its sheath.

“Who’s there?” he shouted, his voice more demanding than questioning, the echo hanging over you in the hall where you stood.

“It’s me!” you cried out quickly, before he had a chance to fire a warning shot in your direction.

“Princess?” his voice softened, sounding almost troubled. “What are you doing – Nevermind. Just…stay right there, okay? I don’t want you seeing this,” his voice called back to you. You thought it was sweet that he tried to preserve your innocence. It was like he didn’t know the way being near him while he worked thrilled you.

After some brief arguing with the other man over cleanup details, he emerged from the room, placing his palm on the small of your back and briskly escorting you out.

“I thought I told you to stay out here,” he said, more concern in his voice than anger as you approached the car.

“I tried, really! It was just…spooky all quiet,” you pouted, following him as he opened the trunk, going for the stash of sanitary wipes and a fresh suit from the cleaners. He looked down the alley toward the main road to be sure no one was coming before stripping and wiping himself down and changing into the clean clothing, shoving the sullied items into a black trash bag he tied off and stuck in the trunk to be disposed of later.

As he pulled the lid down, you snaked your fingers up the pressed lapel, tracing the pinstripes up to his neck. “Besides,” you said, thumbing over the single speck of blood he’d missed, wiping it clean. “You’re sexy when you work.”

He caught your hand in his, holding it firmly against his chest. He looked calm, but you could feel his heart racing. Was it the adrenaline? Or was it just what you did to him?

The two of you stood there for a moment in silence before you piped up,”...Are you mad at me?”

The very thought was extinguished in an instant, his lips pressed firmly and tenderly against yours. They were soft and warm and full of love, leaving you breathless when he pulled away.

“How could I ever be mad?”

And with that, he opened your door, ushering you into the vehicle, and climbing in the other side. If you hurried, you might still make your dinner reservations.

As he put his hand on the gear shift, you playfully trailed your fingers up his wrist and the back of your hand. He smirked, slipping his hand atop yours, roughly gripping down, and pulling the gear shift into drive – and you were off.

_____

Even now, it was like you could still feel his lingering touch. his fingers interlocked with yours. You watched your own fingers as you drummed on the counter, envisioning his warm palm laid over the back of your hand and his finger – long and elegant but still strong and firm – interlocked with yours. You groaned, burrowing your face into the crook of your elbow. You were really losing sleep, losing your mind over someone whose face you’d never even seen before. Someone who didn’t even exist.

You couldn’t help it, though. Once your head hit the pillow and consciousness left you, all it took was for one scene to play out, and your body’s reaction to it would yank you back to this plane of existence. It was forceful, like part of you was clinging with all its might, desperate for just a moment longer in this other land. Like that part of your soul was ripped away from where it knew it belonged.

Your mind drifted to him once again, to the moment you’d known that you must have loved him. It was late. There you were, with him in his bed, in a room several stories above the tops of other apartment buildings in the area, the only light in the room being that which filtered in through the floor-length windows from the vivacious night life of the city below. It was a lively area, but nowhere that anyone would come looking for him. The sirens that wailed in the distance were on the trail of another. This was your own personal oasis, hidden in plain sight.

It was all a blur, though. There could have been nothing surrounding you, honestly. There was him, and only him.

The taste of his kiss was fresh on your lips as he gathered you in his arms. You laid on your sides, facing each other, chests flush against one another. He clutched you tightly, like part of him thought you would vanish if he let go, and you buried your face against his collarbone, one hand pressed against his heart.

You recalled the feeling of hot tears dripping onto your neck as he kissed up your jaw to your cheek, lingering upon reaching their destination. But what echoed in your mind even now were the words he muttered – “I wouldn’t know what to do if I ever lost you too.”

Even thinking about it now made your heart leap in your chest. Something deep within you so vehemently rebuked the thought that he could merely be a figment of your overactive imagination that you were almost constantly plagued with these memories. You really were just losing your mind, you thought to yourself.

You sighed, sitting up as the bartender slid you your beverage. You thanked him, sure that the relieved look in your eyes more than conveyed your gratitude. He offered a shallow bow in response as if to say, “Just doing my job.”

Oh, that sweet, sweet first sip. It wasn’t very strong, but nonetheless provided the brief reprieve from the swirling storm of your own thoughts that you needed. You took a deep breath, stretching your neck to either side and taking a moment to let the alcohol do its thing and bring you the relaxation you craved.

You swiveled around in your seat and crossed your legs, surveying the crowded reception hall as you nursed your drink.

The groom was being swarmed by a herd of gentlemen who looked as if they had almost nothing in common – like he was their uniting factor. You could tell from the way they fussed over and clung to him that he was without a doubt an important figure in all their lives. It was sweet. You couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at the corner of your mouth.

Amidst the men was one in particular who looked to be having the time of his life. He couldn’t be much taller than 5’4”, and was currently dodging the grasp of a considerably taller man with his dark hair in a braided ponytail who was chasing him down. A handful of the others simply stood back and watched as the short one evaded capture. A tan man with glasses and slicked blonde hair pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, walking off somewhere to talk to one of the photographers. You kept your eyes on the chase, wondering just how long these two could keep at it.

That was when you heard it – that laugh.

It came from somewhere across the room and made your ears burn. Your head jerked in the direction it came from, and there you saw him.

He stood by the hors d’oeuvres fable, chatting with a hulking behemoth of a man wearing a paisley scarf and a wild grin. You could barely see him around the other man’s broad shoulders, but there he was. His dark hair was swept to the side, white streaks peppered in, adding to the shape and volume. His eyes twinkled with mirth and mischief as he spoke to who you assumed was his long-time friend.

You studied him as he raised his beverage to his lips, fixating on the delicate way he wrapped his fingers around the glass. Those fingers. You knew those fingers.

You shook your head to yourself. What the hell are you thinking, projecting your imaginary boyfriend onto a stranger? Get a grip, you chided yourself. But you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. The way he carried himself, the whimsical glint in his eyes…this wasn’t anybody you’d ever seen before, but still, your soul was screaming. The tension within you felt like pulling magnets apart.

That was when he glanced your way, and your heart just about leapt out of your chest. It was only for a split second, but it felt like an eternity. His eyes absolutely and without a doubt landed on yours.

“That’s him. That’s absolutely him,” said the burning sensation in your chest.

You were relieved the instant his glance passed over you, but it didn’t last long. You were about to get up and walk out before you made a complete idiot of yourself – Chiyo would understand if you explained to her later. You needed to not be here. But before you could make a single move, he did a double take, looking puzzled for a moment, as if he thought he’d spotted someone he knew.

His eyes widened when you made eye contact that second time.

Quickly, he knocked back the rest of his drink, handing the empty glass to his friend and briskly walking in your direction.

No, this is insane, you told yourself. I have to get out of here. You fumble in your purse, rummaging for your keys as you stand up.

But the instant you tried to take a step, his hand was on your bicep.

“Excuse me,” he called, almost panicked.

You turned to him, and time stilled. As his face came into full view, you knew.

It was him.

“I swear this isn’t a pickup line, but do we know each other?”

The part of you that wanted to run and hide was at war with the part that wanted to throw yourself at him and say you’ve been searching for him, and the result was you simply standing there, floundering for words as your wide eyes met his.

This couldn’t really be happening.

“Hajime?”

The name spilled from your lips before you realized it, like it had been on the tip of your tongue all this time. The name you’d never heard, but somehow you knew. It was him.

His breath hitched, the shock continuing to spread on his face. “You do know me, don’t we? And I know you…but I’ve never seen you before? This is insane, right? But you’ve been seeing it too, haven’t you? The visions?”

It was happening.

“How did you –” you stammered.

“I don’t know, but it’s you, right? You’re the one who’s been in all those weird dreams with Mikey and the Haitanis and everyone in that organization? I mean, not that I knew what you looked like before or anything, but when I looked over here something just pulled me,” he rambled, sounding as insane as you felt.

He takes both your hands in his and you respond with a small nod.

“I-I thought I was crazy,” you managed to stutter, squeezing his hands as if you still don’t believe he was right there in front of you. You wanted to cry, to throw yourself into his arms, but refrained, not wanting to cause a scene.

“I thought I was crazy,” he repeated back.. “And they always feel so real, too. Shit…” He brought his hand to his forehead in disbelief.

The two of you paused, letting everything sink in. You’d both been having these strange visions set in some other lifetime, each featuring one another. But what did it even mean?

The look on your face must have said it all.

“...Let’s go talk somewhere a little more private,” he suggested.

You nodded, and he laced his fingers in yours, leading you out to the gardens on the church’s second floor courtyard.

Hajime led you to the bench, dusting it off with his handkerchief and offering you his hand as you sat down. You took it, not wanting to pass up another opportunity to check whether or not he was real. So far, all signs still pointed to yes.

He sat down beside you, still holding your hand, but leaning back, looking up at the sky, covered in sherbet-colored clouds and obscured by the foliage above. He gave your hand a squeeze.

You sat there in silence, examining him. It was evident on his face that he was processing everything. He would look at you, then back up, then glance back at you again, and look up again. His chest was heaving, and you couldn’t explain what possessed you to do this, but you let your free hand wander, trailing up his torso before landing above his heart. The same flutter, the same rhythm from your dreams. It really was him.

As soon as you flinched to withdraw your hand, he caught it in his, holding you there, now looking directly into your eyes.

“Do you think love can transcend lifetimes?” he asks, catching you by surprise.

“I…suppose I hadn’t really thought about it until recently…” you muttered, trailing off.

“...Yeah, me neither.”

A beat.

“...And we’re sure that we’ve been seeing the same things?” you piped up.

He sat upright and turned to face you properly.

“Did you see the tattoos?” he asked, motioning to where his had been on the side of his head.

You nodded.

“And the others had them too, right?”

“Yeah, there were a couple with them like, on their throats? I think?” you replied.

He nodded. “Yeah! I think they had their hair the same as they do now, actually. And Mikey had his on the back of his neck?”

You nodded again. “You keep saying those names like I know them,” you said.

He tilted his head. “But you know mine –”

“I didn’t until a minute ago,” you said, cutting him off. “I don’t…I don’t even know how I knew. As soon as I saw you, it kind of just…came out of my mouth?” You shook your head, looking at him to see if any of this sounded less sane to him.

“Seriously?” he smiled, leaning back again. Dropping your hands, he brought both of his to his face, rubbing at his eyes and letting out a sigh. He leaned back again, letting his head drop as he laughed.

He looked at you again, left forearm pressed against his head as he reached to take both your hands in his right.

“Well, I’m convinced. Confused as hell, but convinced.”

“I think I’m in the same boat,” you said. “But wait, how come you know who the others are? I never saw anybody very clearly.”

“Really? …Well, it could also have to do with the fact that I’ve known those guys most of my life. You probably just met them tonight, too.”

“‘Met them tonight’?” you asked. “What do you mean I met them tonight?”

He sat up again, his salt and pepper hair bouncing as he looked toward you. “They’re all in there,” he said, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the reception hall.

“What? Really?” You sprang to your feet, trying to look into the window meters away.

He stood up, resting a hand on your shoulder. “Wanna meet them?” he suggested, ushering you back that direction.

“What? N-no, I couldn’t, I-I-,” you protested, digging in your heels.

“Fine, fine, you don’t have to go meet anybody,” he chuckled. Your shyness was endearing. “At least let me point them out to you, yeah?”

Cautiously, you followed along as he walked you to the window.

He was right. The pair that you’d assumed were twins were Ran and Rindou Haitana, who owned a club in Roppongi, the man with the katana was Haruchiyo Akashi, who was at the wedding with his sister with whom he shared a Youtube channel, and that silent, mysterious leader was the short guy who was being chased around earlier. Hajime pointed out the others, and briefly told you about their collective history with the Tokyo Manji Gang in high school, and about the groom, Takemichi, who, alongside Mikey, had brought together so many people from different walks of life and made everyone feel like they had a true home and family to call their own.

The way he smiled looking in at them made your heart melt. He wasn’t the same person he had been in your dreams, but he was still someone whose soul was etched into yours, and someone you could see yourself loving in this lifetime as well.

He turned to you, raising your hand to his lips. “And you already know me, but allow me to introduce myself formally. Hajime Kokonoi, co-president of TK&KO. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” His lips barely brushed against your knuckles, and you felt your face flush.

The two of you stayed out there as the sun went down, spending heaven knows how long just talking and getting to know about each other – what types of things you’d seen in your dreams, what you liked and disliked, what your hopes for the future were. It was dark before either of you realized, and things were beginning to wind down inside.

“...Guess we should probably go back in, huh?” you asked, shivering as the evening chill set in.

Upon noticing, Hajime shucked his jacket, draping it over your shoulders.

“Aw, but we’re having so much fun out here,” he pouted, that mischivous look in his eyes once again. From where you were, you could still hear the DJ spinning tracks – this one was particularly slow. He bowed, extending his hand to you. The instant you took it, he pulled you in close, his left hand pressed flat against the middle of your back.

You were interrupted, however, by a golden-haired man in a yellow suit.

“Koko, are you –? Oh,” he said, surprised to be catching the two of you in this position.

Hajime sighed, releasing you from his hold.

“One more person for you to meet,” he said, gesturing toward the intruder. “This is Inupi, we’ve known each other since we were children.”

Inupi gave you a small wave and a nod before turning his attention back to Koko. “Mikey wants us to take a group photo with Takemicchi and sent me to find you.”

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

The look on Inupi’s face said, “You’d better be.” But when Hajime waved him off, he went back inside regardless.

“Well, so much for our evening,” he said.

“It is getting pretty late. What time is it?”

He shrugged. “Dunno. You have my phone,” he nodded, gesturing at the jacket on your shoulders.

“Oh, here, let me –” you started to shrug it off your shoulders, and he stopped you.

“Ah, ah, I got it,” he said, reaching into the pocket on the side, taking a moment to feel around for his phone. “Got it. Oh, it’s only 10 o’clock,” he said, as if that wasn’t already most of the night.

He walked you back inside, and you saw Chiyo and one of her other friends having their last round at the bar. She noticed you and waved you over. You waved back and held up a finger, telling her you’d be just a minute.

You and Hajime bade each other adieu, and as he walked over to his group, you realized you still had his coat.

“Oh! Hajime, wait, your jacket!” you called after him.

He turned around and continued walking backwards. “Keep it safe for me until next time! Check the pocket,” he said, playfully sticking his tongue out at you.

As you walked toward the bar, you stuck your hand into the pocket he’d fished his phone out of, finding nothing but a business card. His business card. You pulled it out and looked at it.

“There you are! I was looking for you all night!” Chiyo said, bubbly and drunkenly. “Who’s that guy?”

“Oh, y’know, a guy…” you said, only half paying attention as you examined the card. You flipped it over to reveal what you could only assume was Hajime’s cell number, and a message –

“Not losing you again. See you in my dreams.”

You decided to text him when you got home.

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