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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years

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Just An Hour More

Prompt: #128 + #133 for @stutimenon – “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” + “I’ll never forget you.”

stutimenon said:

128 &133 for jungkook. Can you make it fluffy and angsty,?

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader

Genre: idol au / angst / a little fluff

Warnings: Mention of death and heavy content, may trigger some readers.

A/N: This story is intentionally written to be staggered, to cover the time that it does. It’s also not going to have a happy ending, so don’t come for me since I warned you all.

Stutimenon, I know you asked for fluff and angst and that’s what I hoped to achieve with this, in that order. Admittedly it ended up more on the angst side.

Word count: 1741

No one gets into a relationship knowing there’s an end date. At least, you had never heard of anyone who intentionally set out with the conscious notion of the end being discussed at your first meeting. It seemed pointless to do so, to fall in love only to know that affection would be short-lived, an impending date hanging over both your heads every day. And yet, you didn’t dislike the situation you were in either. You knew you only had a limited time to experience it all – the initial flutters of attraction, the nervous dates that soon led to comfortable time together. You wanted it all, and knowing you could achieve it together didn’t make it pointless at all.

Because you had planned it all from the start.

“Are you sure you can do this?” Jungkook questioned, hesitant to accept your previous answer. It had rolled off the tip of your tongue too easily, the fact that you could date him for a short window of time knowingly made him cautious. He had used it as his safeguard all this time, openly telling any women who advanced his way that they could only be together for four months. It was never enough time, and those who actually agreed to it soon realised that dating him was a nightmare and not at all what they had expected.

But you were different and that’s what made him consider not squashing down the feeling in the pit of his stomach. It didn’t matter at the end of the day how he felt about people. He would always be the bad guy who could never lend you enough of his time. Dating him would be painful at times, and the last thing he wanted was to know he could be the reason someone could cry behind closed doors.

It didn’t matter if tears fell from his own eyes. He had chosen this career and to be the international star that he was came with a heavy cost towards the average guy who lived inside him. He wasn’t just a member of BTS, but a twenty-two year old as well. He had desires just like anyone else did.

He knew better though. Dating or having anything substantial with someone would lead to troubles in the future. Four months seemed to be a perfect window. It was enough to satisfy his need for something more than singing about love. The odd hook-up never fully pleased him, Jungkook wanting to spend real time with someone. He wanted to experience the new feeling in the beginning of a relationship and the learning of their personality. The physical aspects were great but so was getting caught up in a movie marathon or being equally indecisive over what to eat for dinner.

He longed for the companionship that came from dating.

“Of course,” you confirmed and Jungkook tilted his head to the side. His attention made you falter, and he couldn’t help but smile a little at how adorable you looked right now.

He was certain he could do it all with you and more.

“I can’t do any longer than four months, Y/N,” he repeated and you recovered from your bout of uncertainty. It made Jungkook curious, why would you accept something so risky? What did you see in him that he couldn’t?

“That’s fine, who knows, we might not even get that long. But it’s worth trying, don’t you think? We both liked each other when we chatted online and meeting you in person hasn’t put me off either.”

He smiled. “Really? You didn’t know I was kind of famous until meeting me in the flesh. Does that not show up red flags?”

“Everyone deserves to experience feelings of love, Jungkook. You included.”

Jungkook blinked slowly, trying to take all of you in. He should have realised then to ask why you were so open to dating him for such a short period of time.

Perhaps then it wouldn’t hurt as much as it did now.

You smiled more each day. Jungkook was dorkier than you expected and that made you laugh a whole lot more than you had all year long. You felt confident in his company, and that didn’t just come from the fact that falling in love with him was all too easy. He made sure you felt cherished every day and that gave you the boost to feel more in charge of your own body.

You would dictate how you felt now.

“Where did this come from?” he murmured, holding up your arm and pointing to a decently formed bruise. He fingered it cautiously, heaving a sigh.

“I had to have a blood test today.”

“Really? Are you okay?”

“Well, I won’t know until I get the results but it’s nothing to worry about. All I care about is you and me in this moment.”

Your smile was forced then, desperate to keep the knowledge to yourself. There were still two months left of your loving and you were more than capable of making it to the end.

“As long as you’re okay,” he agreed, leaning in to kiss your bruise softly, his lips trailing back up until he found yours.

You were unlike anyone else Jungkook had dated before. In the past, dating felt too restrictive, too difficult. There were always arguments, and the question of is it me or your job you love more thrown his way countless times. Jungkook had chosen his career every time.

He wondered if he could do the same when it came to you.

The agreement of your relationship was drawing to an end, and with a lot of overseas promotion, he was eager for more time together. Just an hour more. An hour of your comfort. Of your love. He didn’t care what you did in that hour; you could even sleep it away nestled in one another’s embrace. Jungkook just wanted more.

It made him aware of the desires within to keep this continuing even past the date you both agreed upon in the start. He didn’t want to think of a time in his life without you at his side.

This was a love he hadn’t expected to overwhelm him.

And that was why it was shocking when you called him to end it a week earlier than planned. “Wh-what?”

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” you shakily admitted, and he could tell you were crying on the other end of the call.

He cursed, knowing that if he had been in the same city, he would have rushed over right now to confront you with his feelings, to beg for you to hold out a little longer.

Just for one more hour.

But he was overseas promoting. Another thing taking him away from you.

“Y/N, listen. We have time. I’ll be back tomorrow and-”

“I don’t want any more time. I don’t have any more to give.”

“What the hell does that mean?!” he blurted out, raking a hand through his hair. He realised he was crying and angrily pushed the tears aside with the back of his hand. “Did you plan to drop me just like this?”

“It was always in our agreement to have four months.”

“We haven’t had that four months though!”

“I know,” you breathed noisily, choking on your tears before clearing your throat. “I wanted it too but we’re better off separating now.”

“Not without saying goodbye in person,” he bartered and you began to cry harder. It dawned on Jungkook then, the signs he had been trying to ignore. The extra bruises, the exhaustion. Your pallid skin tone the last time he saw you.

You weren’t choosing to leave him either.

“Give me some time, please,” he begged. “Y/N, tell me where I can meet you. I’ll get on the first plane back now. Just, give me that time.”

It was sunny outside. The birds were chirping in the trees next to the café and it almost made you laugh. How could everything continue when you felt as if time was slowing down for you? And when you saw Jungkook’s dishevelled appearance as he rushed down the sidewalk, you sighed. His appearance didn’t fit in with how beautiful the day was.

It didn’t matter how he looked though, your heart still sang out to him, still raced when it took in his sleep-deprived state. You scowled. “Look at you!”

“Me?” Jungkook cried incredulously, shaking his head. Still, he attempted to smooth down the clothes he had clearly flown in. He then smiled. “Look at you.”

“Startling, aren’t I?”

“Beautiful as always,” he corrected, and you smiled back at him.

“I’m not going to say sorry, because I’m not,” you announced once your orders arrived at the table. You glanced over at him, watching his hands shake a little as he picked up his coffee cup. “I got to experience everything I hoped to with you and more. Loving you was the best thing I’ve achieved.”

“I don’t want an apology,” he agreed, though he wasn’t nearly as convincing. You were too calm for him right now, and that came with the knowledge. You had known for far longer about your health concerns than he had. “I just want more time.”

“Don’t we all,” you lamented, sipping at your tea. You then shrugged. “This is all we get though.”

“No, we can have more and-”

“I want to die without you. I know that’s not what you want and it’s selfish of me. I want you to remember me like this. Before it gets to the point where I’m indescribably unwell and suffering. I want you to remember my smile, not my pain.”

“What about me? Don’t I get a say?”

You faltered, surprised by how affected he was. Despite the watery eyes, Jungkook was determined. “I’ll remember your smile. Your laugh, your little ways you made me feel special. I’ll remember it all, Y/N. I’ll never forget you and how you made my life magical.”

“I just-”

“I want to be there,” he persisted, reaching for your hand. You trembled, the strong barrier between you being swept away with the touch of his hand. He was much too warm and you were far too cold.

Nodding once, you moved so he could take you within his arms, comforting you completely.

You clung to him with all your might, praying for just one hour more with him.

_________________

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electricshoebox · 4 years

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*Slides into your askbox* Can I ask 🤲, 💩, and ⌛for Anthony? :)

Ahh thank you friend!

🤲 Religious Headcanon Oh this is a really interesting question. Anthony really isn’t religious at all. His parents immigrated to the US from Vietnam before he was born, and while they didn’t have any particular official religion, they did have a small little altar they kept in the house to occasionally offer prayers to their ancestors, mostly if some big life event was coming up or something like that. Anthony thought it was kind of silly and rolled his eyes a little, just sort of dismissing it, but it was important to them, so whatever. But after he wakes up in the Vault and starts his new life in the post-war world, he’s pretty profoundly lonely. He gradually builds connections, and even friends, but it’s a kind of loneliness that no one else can really understand, missing a world that no longer exists. Missing his family, and friends, and aching for his son. And he starts to think about that altar again, the way his mother used to insist that it connected them with family they’d lost. So he decides to make one. Just a little thing in his office, in the very back part of the new house he ends up living in, in Sanctuary. He’s pretty self-conscious about it, doesn’t really talk about it or want anyone to see it, until Preston moves in. But he does, every so often, offer up a little prayer. He figures he’s just making himself feel better, but... well, it makes him feel better. When he eventually does admit it to Preston, Preston just thinks it’s nice, and is happy he has something like that.

💩 Ridiculous Headcanon Oh my gosh. I’m trying to think, I haven’t really considered a lot of his dorkier side. Hmm. I’m not sure if this qualifies as ridiculous, but I do think, on his better, happier days, the rare ones he and Preston get some time to just spend at home together, he has a sillier side and he likes to try and get Preston to crack a smile. And it’s become sort of a game, Preston trying harder and harder not to crack. So sometimes when they’re listening to the radio, maybe making dinner or doing something else, and a song comes on that Anthony knows well, he’ll start lip-syncing and dancing like a dork. And Preston tries to make him work for it, tries to keep a straight face as long as he can. He always, always loses.

⌛Sleep Headcanon Anthony is a terrible sleeper. Even before the bombs fell, he always had trouble falling asleep, and he often had nightmares. It’s rare for him to sleep uninterrupted through the night. When he wakes up after the Vault, it’s worse. A lot of new things to fuel nightmares, a lot of really difficult places to sleep, a lot on his mind, not much to distract him. He tries to kind of power through it, or just work himself to exhaustion, for awhile. Once he and Preston start traveling together, and therefore often sharing rooms or sleeping nearby each other, Preston notices his habits, and his nightmares. So he starts asking Anthony to tell him stories from the Old World, anything good he remembers. Sometimes he’ll ask about specific things, sometimes just for a story. It’s not really a nightly thing, just when it seems like he needs it. And it mostly just puts Preston to sleep, very rarely Anthony, but every time they do it, Anthony does seem to sleep easier when he finally does sleep. Once they get together, it helps a lot to get to hold Preston while he does it, too. It grounds him, being able to feel him warm and there and listening.

#a line in the sand #ask memes

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kyulkyungs · 6 years

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soulmate!jeno

Request: can i request a lil soulmate!au in a non-idolverse for jeno, please? i've been feeling super soft for him lately hehe ☺️💐💝💝(Hihihihihi!!! I can rlly feel u, partner, so this is a definite yes!!)

others: jaemin | haechan | jisung

you’ve met him in your dreams

you know that he’s there and he talks with you sometimes

but his face is always kind of blurry and you can’t remember much of it when you wake up

one thing for sure is that you know he’s a really handsome boy and your heart thumps just thinking about him even if you forget his face

you can remember meeting him way back when you were kids

and he was such a sweet puff all the way back then to you too

even now he’s so amazingly sweet and soft and kind of shy to you now that you’re older and the chances of you actually meeting in person has skyrocketed

you’re not really sure where your dreams take place most of the time

more often than not they’re in a place you or he recognizes

you used to play tag when running around your house or he’d show you all the neat stuff in his room and tell you a different story about every single thing each time

even once the two of you got older that small childish love and innocence never went away once the teenage awkwardness was supposed to set in

the both of you just refused to become that way and instead stay loving and supportive of each other

even if you could never remember each other’s faces or each other’s names and it was just a fuzzy picture of each other when trying to remember

even his voice which you loved since he liked to talk to you softly as opposed to how loud he would screech when running away from you on this hill in a certain dream

both of you actually weren’t sure where it was because it wasn’t like a park or a place nearby your houses or schools

and the two of you were constantly on the lookout for it and it kind of felt like a childish adventure sometimes and was really fun but he always complained it’d be better to do it with you

as you got older the adventures to seek out the mysterious fun hill stopped and instead you both went on with other things

especially since you moved to a different neighborhood with your family and had to get settled there

you remember being in the dreamscape first because you were so tired, when normally it was your soulmate who was there first

you usually greeted him with a surprise hug and jumping onto his back or grabbing his hand and feeling his warmness or even just tapping his shoulder and getting picked up and spun around because he was so happy to see you

this time you were the one greeted when you felt two arms wrap around you and start swaying you back and forth with the person holding you

honestly the moment was so soft that there were no words needed to be spoken because you knew who this was obviously and you found his embrace so comforting

“it’s early, you usually don’t go to bed this early... good thing i took a nap, huh?” and his voice was still that soft soothing sound to your ears

and you can smell something faint that smells like something sweet and you ask him if he ate some sweets and then went into a food coma

and he just laughs and hugs you tighter saying ‘no, i just wanted to see you that badly’

it’s times like these where you really wish that you could find your soulmate in the real world instead of when you’re far apart and the universe makes it harder to know anything farther than their personalities

you can tell that he feels somewhat the same because he just rests his head on your shoulder and sighs

‘oh did you wash your sheets? they smell really good’

and you laugh when he breathes in again but in a dorkier and funnier way to make you laugh and plus his nose tickles !

but you nod anyways while he’s tickling you with his nose ‘yeah, we just moved so everything is fresh right now’

and he hums and is about to ask you where but then he pauses because he knows that he’ll either wake up or it’ll come out like a blurbled mess anyways

and you know he’s kind of sad so you’ve turned around in his hug and are now hugging him tightly while he enjoys your embrace

he loves being able to hug you, this is a fact and you know it and so does the universe

‘i hope you get settled and enjoy your new home’ this is the perfect opportunity for a cheesy line so you use it

‘i already am, because you’re my home’

and he just laughs and buries his head back into your shoulder and you can barely hear it

but he softly says that he really loves you

and it warms up your heart so much

eventually the two of you continue talking and just spending time with each other

and you’re both on the hill again and it brings you back to adventures around your neighborhood as a kid and being determined to find this boy who you wanted to play with all the time

and the sneaking out as a teenager sometimes to scout out a new area and explore further

usually it was these times where your soulmate worried the most about you because you would come in really late in the dreams and he was scared you’d never show up

he would always rush over whenever you appeared and check you for any marks to see if anything happened even if it was kind of blurry

he just wanted to make sure you were okay :( this poor baby

eventually you stopped sneaking out and just hanging out with him in your dreams because yeah it’s not worth it if you did get hurt trying to find this mystery hill and get him a heart attack

little did you know that two or three times he skipped school to look for the hill too and pretended he was sick and everyone had to cover for him and nobody could get the story straight

eventually you got more comfortable and used to your home and your neighbors

one of your neighbors was a nice old lady who had like four little dogs and they were all very good dogs

sometimes they’d somehow get out of the house and over to yours and you’re not even sure how they get in but sometimes they do but it’s okay they’re really cute

one day, however, you find one of the dogs running around in the front yard

you went outside to go catch it and return it to the lady next door but when it saw you it started dashing off in a completely opposite direction

and you panicked because uH?? NO? home that way!!!!

so you had to chase the doggo and it just keeps going like wow it’s a small dog but woosh what is she feeding these dogs if they’re like little ninjas y’know

you expect this dog to turn around and start wagging it’s tail because it knows you’re running after it and it thinks you’re playing with it

but it’s not..... doing that?

it’s just running and running without looking back at you

somehow you make it to a busier street area and that’s when you get more nervous because there’s more people to block you and cars and you really want to save this dog now

but miraculously all the people see you in time and move to the side or the dog runs across crosswalks a couple seconds after the light turns red and someone had hit the button to cross

it’s all sunshine and flowers now but this dog ain’t stopping to appreciate them

as you keep running, you lose more and more energy but you don’t want to lose this dog but wow the distance gap is getting bigger and bigger

it’s not too concerning until you see that the dog is headed for a crosswalk and the sign just turned red and you’re not supposed to cross

but it just keeps going

so you’re shouting at it to stop and for it to wait and it gets closer to the edge and the cars look like they’re about to start moving and don’t see the dog

you’re so frightened that the dog will really run across when you see a pair of legs run in front of the dog’s path and it skids to a stop

when you look up you see a boy and you’re like.............. omg............ that’s my boy

and he picks up the rascal dog and starts walking towards you and as he comes closer and closer he realizes that..........

you look like a mess

but also that.............. wow................ you’re............... you’re his soulmate

you’re still catching your breath and holding your side because it’s so cramped but when he gets closer you just reach your arms out

and he thinks you’re going for a hug so he walks even closer but you just scoop the dog out of his arms and are like

‘thank......... you........... this dog........ idek’

and he just looks at you and just starts smiling because wow it’s really you and he doesn’t care if this is the first time seeing you in person and you’re not showing that much excitement at least he’s getting to see you

eventually you catch your breath and there’s a silence between you and your soulmate is still watching you, arms ready to case you fall over and you just might because your legs are so tired

‘we can go inside here,’ he says and points to this building

and it’s actually a cafe of some sort and you could really use a drink rn and a place to sit down

so you just nod because the reality of meeting your soulmate just hit you and gAH IT’S REALLY HIM!!!!!

when you step inside the ac is on and the people greet you and you just go take a random booth with him

after sitting for a minute or so the both of you make eye contact and that’s really it right there

where everything fits into place and it all seems super right

all of a sudden you’re laughing really hard because it doesn’t seem that real right now

first you were calm in your own home and thinking you’d return the neighbor’s dog like normal

next you were running for your life and also for a dog’s and it was a full blown panic and you probably ran a long distance while sprinting

and now....... now you’ve just met the literal man of your dreams

and he doesn’t even seem fazed by your lack of reaction to meeting him, he just looks like he’s having the time of his life

and that’s when he finally understands

he makes an ‘ahh’ sound and you’re confused and he just smiles at you and points behind you

and painted along the wall of the cafe is a mural of a hill........ your hill

there’s a little phrase that says ‘where dreams come true’ and it’s so cheesy and funny and you’re like...... so that’s what it meant

eventually you turn back around and find that he’s looking at you, just watching you and taking in all your features

you don’t shy away from his gaze at all and instead welcome it because it’s so endearing, so loving, so fond

at the same time you’re mapping out his own features and realizing that he truly is really handsome it’s no joke

he moves his hand across the table and opens it palm up so that he can hold yours for the first time in real life

you’re shuffling the dog so that you can properly hold it and slowly glide your fingertips across his palm before moving your hand to fit into his

and it’s like two puzzle pieces, the rights ones...

a perfect fit

‘jeno,’ he says and you’re testing his name out on your tongue and the whole time he’s just smiling and then he tests your name out on his and it’s so smooth coming out of his mouth

this is the guy you’ve been seeing in your dreams

this is the guy you dreamt of seeing in real life

this is your soulmate........ jeno

never before have you seen a small dog look so smug

#elli writes #soulmate au #jeno #nct #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct fluff #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream fluff #fluff #neutral pronouns #nct jeno

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