#the doctor married her just to save humanity and she made that her whole personality trait | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shkspr · 3 years

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hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

#sorry if this is repetitive or makes no sense or if i got some details of the show wrong #i simply couldnt be bothered to put too much effort into this post #lest it become a research paper and take me several weeks to answer #anyway thats all my opinions #dw #ok to rb

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panlight · 2 years

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I know it's NOT possible, but what if a cure for vampirism was found and the Cullen's could choose whether to become human again. Which of them would take it? I think Rosalie and Emmett would. (Rosalie excited, Emmett is cool either way but wants to make her happy). Alice and Jasper seem content as vampires. Carlisle and Esme idk.

I think Edward would be excited to be human again with Bella but Bella would NOT want it. (Idk how it would work with Resume, I feel like that might be the only thing that would change Edwards answer. Maybe he'd want them all to wait until she was grown?)

I honestly feel like if SM wanted a Happily Ever After ending, this was the only way to do it that would feel consistent with the "oh, woe, I'm cursed to endless night!" stuff she was selling about vampires. It's like she wanted to have all the angst and melancholy of the Classic vampire genre but then also wanted a Cinderella fairy tale so we get this weird ending where it's like "actually ignore everything Edward, Rosalie, Jacob, etc said! Being a vampire is easy and awesome after all!" and it just felt weird. The middle books don't make ANY sense unless being a vampire is objectively Bad and something to be avoided. Edward leaving is only noble if he's doing it to save Bella from becoming a vampire. Jacob's desperation to keep Bella human/make her realize she loves him only makes sense if being a vampire is bad. Bella the Bestest and Happiest Vampire Ever and Renesmee the Precious Angel Vampiric Child just . . . don't work with those themes from the middle books.

A CURE for vampirism would work so much better as a happy ending. But yeah, it's a big question as to which Cullens would go for it. (I lowkey thought that maybe James' bite would be like an inoculation against vampire venom and they'd go to change Bella and it wouldn't work and then they could create a cure from her blood but no apparently the James bite really never mattered again. Oh well!)

I agree that Rosalie would want it and Emmett would go along with it to make her happy. He doesn't mind being a vampire but he's cool with becoming human too, and obviously it's important to Rose. If this takes place post-BD then Edward/Bella gets a lot more complicated. If it were a scenario like I outline where the cure were created from Bella's blood and she couldn't be turned, the answer is obvious. Edward becomes human. I think Bella would always be lowkey disappointed she didn't get to become a sparkly immortal with her forever love, but he'd become human for her and it would work out I guess. Post-BD Bella obviously LOVES being a vampire, she's born for it. Edward seems happier with his lot too, but I wonder if a cure might shake the acceptance he'd found. It's one thing to make peace with a situation when there is no way back; but if there IS a way . . . I could see him being excited and thrilled by this discovery, assuming that Bella would want it too and then it becoming a whole thing when she's like "what why would I want to be human again?"

I don't think a cure would work on Renesmee at all, personally, because she was BORN half-vampire. It's not a transformation she underwent like it is for full vamps, it's just what she IS. So I think regardless she's a hybrid forever, and that might keep Edward from pushing too hard for him and Bella to go back to humans, so they can stay immortal with their daughter.

I could argue either way for Carlisle and Esme. On the one hand Carlisle seems to have made peace with vampirism for the most part, and you could argue that he can do a lot more good as an immortal doctor than he could as a human one with a limited lifespan. On the other hand, I think you can make the argument that deep down everything he does reflects a desire to be human. Unlike other vampires, he has a house. He has a job. He kept his surname. He doesn't have a mate--he has a wife. Like, he actually married her for realsies. He has "children." He's made peace with vampirism by mimicking a human life as much as possible. And like with Edward, discovering there IS a way back might destabilize the peace he had built.

With Esme the temptation might be the ability to have children. Adoption is absolutely valid, but there's a big difference between adopting young adults who are frozen at one age forever and raising a child, or even adopting a human teen that would age and grow. Esme's found a lot of happiness and fulfillment with her family, but there's a lot she's missed out on by having EternaTeens. Becoming humans means she could potentially have children with Carlisle, the man of her dreams, and actually raise them and watch them grow. That might be enough for her to want it.

I'm gonna be wishy-washy and say in the post-BD scenario where Renesmee exists and can't be cured, C/Es decide to stay vampires along with E/B/Ness. In a scenario with no Nessie and E/B are human, C/Es become human too.

Alice and Jasper don't. Maybe if it were temporary they might try it just for a lark--Alice might curious what being human is like, since she can't remember it--but I don't think they have any interest in being human really and they don't have any moral issues with vampirism in general. Alice doesn't eat people because she saw herself with the Cullens and they don't eat people, it's not necessarily that she has a deep-seated moral objection to it. Jasper doesn't eat people (or tries not to anyway) because his gift makes it unpleasant for him. Otherwise I don't think he'd care.

So whatever goes down with E/B and C/Es, I think R/Em become human and A/J stay vampires. If the rest of the crew go human too, then A/J are like the vampire protectors who look after them and keep them safe from other vampires.

#asks #long post

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random-thought-depository · 3 years

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Idea for a story I should write someday: a story kind of like the Babylon 5 episode Believers, but it’s obliquely referencing the continuity of consciousness arguments about uploading and teleportation.

The story’s equivalent of Shon is an alien from an intelligent species for whom unconsciousness is naturally super-rare; they don’t sleep, and they have a highly redundant nervous system that makes them very resistant to being “knocked out” by blunt force trauma or drugs. As a result, this species has developed philosophical arguments that a continuous stream of consciousness is constitutive of identity, and hence to lose consciousness is to die, and if somebody loses consciousness and then wakes up later that person has died and a new person who happens to have their memories has awakened in their body. This perspective is intuitive to them, in the same way “if somebody creates a perfect copy of you and then immediately kills the original you, you have died” is intuitive to us, and it’s the view of multiple mainstream religions and philosophies on their world. Their equivalents of the words awake and alive are more-or-less synonyms, their word for being born roughly translates as “awaken,” and their word for death roughly translates as “the cessation of movement and thought” (maybe they classify sessile organisms like plants and fungi as not alive, in the same way we classify viruses as not alive?).

Obviously, one consequence of this is that most surgeries in their society are done with local anesthetic, with the patient being carefully kept awake (”alive”) the whole time. But in this case a child of this species has an illness or injury that will definitely kill them (in the uncontroversial sense of the concept) if it isn’t remedied with an operation that definitely will result in a period of unconsciousness. And the story centers on a human doctor trying to convince the child and their parents that what they’re proposing will save the child’s life instead of just killing them and replacing them with a different person.

The take a third option happy ending would be that the doctor manages to find a way to do the operation while keeping the child conscious the whole time, but I think I prefer something a bit more bittersweet. So I’m thinking maybe they try something like that, and it works in the sense that the child physically survives and is fine, but it fails in that the child loses consciousness for a few minutes during the operation so the parents see them as having died.

Oh, they don’t filicide their own child like in the B5 episode or anything like that. They don’t think they’re an abomination or anything like that. They just think their child has died and been replaced with something like an identical twin. While unconsciousness is very rare among them, there have been cases throughout their history, and their culture has developed procedures for it. When a person dies and a new person awakens in their body, the new person is given a name (different from that of the original inhabitant of their body) and their equivalent of a baptism. The family of body’s previous inhabitant may adopt them. If they’re married, the spouse of their body’s previous inhabitant may marry them. They may adopt the children of their body’s previous inhabitant. They inherent the personal property of their body’s previous inhabitant, but they are not responsible for any debts and crimes of the previous inhabitant of their body, which are considered to belong to the dead person. The “dead” inhabitant of their body is given a funeral, with a small effigy of wood or wax buried or burned as a corpse would be. The “dead” inhabitant of their body is then given the same daily prayers for the dead as other dead immediate family members.

So, before the operation the child prepares for the possibility that they might lose consciousness by writing a letter to the inheritor of their body saying something like “Please don’t feel bad about inheriting my body, you didn’t ask for this, it isn’t your fault.” After the operation the child is given a new name and their equivalent of a new baptism and adopted into the family, as a foundling would be, and is introduced to their sibling as a new member of the family who happens to look like the dead sibling. The child inherits the personal property of the “dead” child, in this case a few toys and video games and the like. The parents arrange for their “new” child’s education to continue where the “dead” child’s left off, as they share the same memories (when they go back to their school - which is a small “neighborhood” school run by and for the community of their species on the space station the story takes place on - they are introduced to their classmates as a new student). The “new” child participates in the funeral of the “dead” child and before every evening meal participates in the daily prayers for the dead, in which the “dead” child is mentioned by name as other dead immediate family members are. The “new” child will celebrate their birthday on the anniversary of the operation, and the day of the operation will be counted as the day of their birth (“awakening”). Basically, the parents are as nice about the whole thing as they can be, but they really believe that they’ve lost a child and gained a new one (through no fault of the new child!), and they and the rest of their immediate community act accordingly.

Some time later the human doctors gets invited to participate in some sort of ceremony for the “new” child, formal acknowledgment of them having finished memorizing some sacred scripture in their school or something like that. They give the human doctor the role in the ceremony that the midwife who assisted in the child’s birth would normally have.

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Some peripheral notes for this concept:

In the setting of this story, humans are a relatively minor race; Earth is an unusually densely populated world, but on the periphery of known space and relatively backward, humans only developed a high-tech civilization recently and haven’t spread out much and are a small percentage of known space’s population. The human doctor is one of the few humans on a trade hub space station, or at least one of the few humans who’s part of the official staff; most of the humans there are part of the station’s working/lower class, a mix of low-level maintenance and dock workers, small-time shopkeepers, entertainers and service workers of various sorts, homeless people, and petty criminals (with a fair amount of fluidity between those classes).

Sleep is a weird thing humans do in this setting; it’s unique to humans (and other Earth animals), other intelligent species don’t need it or do it. However, most intelligent species don’t have the “unconsciousness = death” belief, because while most intelligent species don’t sleep they are more familiar with unconsciousness as a semi-normal thing from people passing out drunk, getting knocked out in a brawl, etc.. Maybe there’s even one or two intelligent species who don’t sleep regularly but can hibernate in periods of resource scarcity like bears or go into torpor if the temperature gets too low (common alien words for human sleep might translate to things like “micro-hibernation” and “false thermocoma”). It’s just this one species for whom unconsciousness is naturally super-rare so their culture developed in a context where it was some extraordinary, freakish, even eldritch-seeming thing.

In this context, the human doctor experiences some of the limitations of humans as something a lot like a disability. She can’t regularly work the 20+ hour shifts that are normal for her colleagues, because she needs to sleep. She needs more time off than most of her colleagues, because normal alien schedules are made around the assumption of effectively having an extra eight hours every day to get stuff done. Because the aliens are active 24 hours, most intelligent species have much better night vision than humans, so to save on energy and burned out light bulb equivalents the common area and default lighting on the space station is what a human experiences as semi-darkness. She wears basically night vision goggles most of the time to be able to easily work in what the aliens consider normal indoor lighting conditions. A lot of the alien tools and furniture are the wrong size and shape for her, and she gets a friend in the station’s machine shop to recut and otherwise modify a lot of the medical tools for her. Humans are relatively unusual in the wider galaxy and kind of funny looking even by the standards of a relatively cosmopolitan multi-species society (the more typical body plans for an intelligent species are “six-limbed quadruped with four legs and two arms” and “kind of like a theropod dinosaur”), so common alien furniture is really not built for her (the human sitting posture is super-weird and freaky by alien standards, they tend to get uncomfortable just looking at it), and she gets kind of a lot of people (especially children) staring at her and wanting to touch various parts of her and so on, but it’s mostly benign curiosity. She’s uncomfortably aware that she’s a “diversity hire” (the alien polity that runs the station likes to hire members of their various allied and subject races to give them a sense of inclusion) and that a lot of people kind of resent having to do all these accommodations for her instead of just hiring a normal person.

The family of the sick child actually have a kind of parallel experience. Their world is even more marginal and peripheral than Earth and they’re a small minority in the galactic population, and the space station was built by and primarily for beings smaller than them so they have to deal with a lot of uncomfortably small tools and furniture and spaces or stick to special areas and facilities for bigger beings. This is a universe where big alien theory is true, so they’re actually more-or-less average size for an intelligent species, but the most numerous races are around human size so around human size is what gets treated as normal size for a person to be. Note: around human size with quadrupedal or theropod-like body plans translates to the human doctor has to stoop to fit inside a lot of small corridors built for beings substantially shorter than humans, but thankfully the station is designed for a cosmopolitan crowd so at least the bigger public spaces are sized to be accessible to beings up to approximately the size of large sauropod dinosaurs (and the water-filled sections for water/ocean-dwellers are designed to be accessible to even bigger beings).

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Rough draft/outline for some lines in a conversation that would happen in this story:

Human doctor: I sleep every day. Well, almost every day, anyway. <Laughs a little, then turns serious> Do you think I die every time I go to sleep? Do you think the version of me you talked to yesterday is dead, and I’m... What, the latest in a line of thousands of doppelganger-clones of [her name]?

Alien parent: I... <uncomfortable pause> My partner holds it as a matter of faith that is works differently for Humans, because the Makers would not be so cruel as to create a race that is born in the morning, lives one day, dies that night, passes their body on to a new person who continues their errands and then dies in turn the next night. But I’m a rationalist, and... <uncomfortable pause and squirming> ... If you really look at nature, you see a multitude of horrors. The buzzer-fly’s young tear it apart from inside and eat its corpse. Nature is amoral. I can believe nature would create such a thing as an intelligent race that lives one day. I... Honestly, I try to not think about it much, to preserve my sanity.

Human doctor: I slept last night. I don’t feel like I died. I feel like I’m the same person I was yesterday.

Alien parent: Suppose this question had an objective and testable answer, and it was that I was right. Suppose I could show you I was right, as I could show my ancestors the Red Thirst with a microscope and say “See, it is not a curse, it is a thing like a tiny plant, that gets inside you and grows inside you like a strangling vine.” What would you do? How would you react to knowing that you have hours to live, that you were born this morning and will die tonight and are but one in a long chain of inhabitants of your body who lived only one day, and your whole race is like that?”

Human doctor: <thinks about it for a moment> “I think I’d find some way to tell myself that it wasn’t true, that you were wrong, and then I wouldn’t think about it much, to preserve my sanity.”

Alien parent: “For what it’s worth, I really hope it doesn’t actually work like that. But I’m not willing to gamble my child’s life on ‘I really hope it doesn’t actually work like that.’”

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On that note: at some point the parents see the human doctor while she’s dozing at work and it’s intensely disturbing and creepy to them. An unconscious person is disturbing to them in the same way fantasy undead would be disturbing to humans: they’re simultaneously dead and alive in a way that seems unnatural in the sense people use when they use that term to refer to something horrible. I think I might have some fun describing human sleep in a way that channels a Lovecraft protagonist: “Alive, yet not alive. Clearly dead, but stirred by inward motion.”

It’s more logical when you remember that their language uses a lot of the same or similar words for life and consciousness and for death and unconsciousness. Like, yes, she is indeed [alive/awake] but not [alive/awake], clearly [unawake] but moving a little, those are totally factual observations, I’m just translating the emotional charge they’d have for these people.

One of these poor people would probably have a breakdown when they see their own child in that state on the operating table. :(

On a lighter note, there’d be comic relief potential in this too:

Alien child: “Are they dead?”

Alien parent: “Kind of, but it’s not as big a problem for them as it is for us.”

And also tragicomedy potential: at one point the alien child asks the human doctor what death is like, saying she should know since she dies every day.

Tangential note: I’m thinking the alien child’s race is hermaphroditic, in which case it’d be appropriate to use gender-neutral pronouns for them ... and they probably wouldn’t have a concept of gender (except insofar as they might have learned that some other species have such concepts), so it would make sense for them to use gender-neutral language when they talk about humans among themselves too; their language wouldn’t have gendered pronouns except maybe specifically as a device adopted for being polite to certain aliens when you talk to them. Not sure how I’d handle pronouns for hermaphroditic aliens in a story.

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Other character concepts for this story:

When it comes to having to deal with a station built by and for beings that have rather different bodies than you, the human doctor is lucky compared to her colleague and best friend, a giant whale-like being who does most of their work through teleoperation while sitting in basically a giant swimming pool.

This person’s homeworld is a cold planet almost entirely covered by ocean; only a few almost totally barren tiny islands rise above an otherwise uninterrupted sea so deep it drowns all but the very highest mountain peaks (with so little land, multicellular life on this world has never left the sea). Their species (which is hermaphroditic, hence the choice of pronoun) is very much like the filter-feeding whales of Earth. Evolution of their intelligence probably was driven more by social selection than intrinsic stimulation of their watery world; they live their life by The Game, a complex and ever-shifting web of relationships that determines social status, access to resources, and mating opportunities, and that contributes to their survival. They are highly intelligent (their brain probably weighs more than you do!), and they might have tentacles or a manipulatory tongue or something, but before known space society found them and offered them access to space travel their watery world offered them little opportunity to develop technology. It’s unknown how long they’ve been sapient, but their oral history includes accounts of an asteroid impact that happened several million years ago.

This character thinks most of their people are good-natured but provincial. They’re good folks, but once you’ve gotten through the latest permutations of The Game and last year’s migrations and the plan for next year’s migrations and what the krill tastes like in various places these days the conversation tends to just kind of drift there like a sea-plant. They remember the 74th year of their life; the most interesting thing that happened that year was their pod passed close to an island. Why, on Earth, that was the year humans sent their first crewed expedition to Mars! They left their world to find a more interesting life.

They can use their powerful sonar to “see” inside their patients and still swear by this vs. the more advanced high-tech instruments.

The case of the sick child ends up involving a lawyer. He’s a member of another minor species of known space society, an arboreal intelligent species that originally inhabited the forests of a humid world. The evolution of intelligence in his species was driven mostly by social and sexual selection, like the whale people but moreso. His species is highly intelligent, but mostly uninterested in physical problems; in their original society most of their intelligence was focused on socialization, mating strategies, and art (the art was part of the socialization and mating strategies). When wider known space society found them, they were living as hunter-gatherers with a rich artistic tradition but a Stone Age level of technology. Examination of their world’s fossil record indicated that they had existed at that level for over a hundred million years. However, once integrated into a high-tech interstellar society, they became very successful as artists, lawyers, politicians, and business people, and can be found in those professions in numbers greatly disproportionate to their percentage of known space’s population. He is colorful and beautiful, like a peacock, and for the same reason.

#story ideas #my writing #infohazard warning #if you're susceptible to random disturbing ideas #spoilers I guess #when I actually get around to writing this

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 years

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Hi! It's an au twilight question.

What if Edward and Bella did the nasty in early New moon. Then the party happens and the Cullens leave. Bella discovers she's pregnant with Renesmee. What do you think what would happen?

A very interesting question, anon. One that will go very interesting places, I'm sure.

That said, as usual, because I'm a completionist, we have to go through the "why no canon?" routine. Bear with me, I simply must.

Why Didn't Edward and Bella Do the Nasty Pre-Breaking Dawn?

For all that Edward is, for all his... questionable morals and sexual fixations, he does have a moral code he strictly holds himself to.

Edward is adamantly against having sex with Bella in terror of the very real possibility that he will murder her in the act. He's very clear about this, he didn't think he could do it, at all, and only his sheer desperation that Bella never be turned, his desire to marry Bella, as well as Alice's thumbs up convinced him to do it.

If Bella was a reasonable person then she would have agreed as well. Sex with Edward, while she's human, is a bad idea. However, Bella never really seems to clue in on what vampires even are so I think the Man of Steel on Woman of Kleenex aspect is lost on her.

Had Alice not given the green light, I imagine Edward would have gone back to the drawing board and ended up either here or here. Bella turning is the worst possible outcome and Edward will risk almost anything, even Bella's death, to see it avoided.

But that doesn't mean it's an action he takes lightly.

He suggests pimping Bella out to Jake before he suggests sleeping with her himself. For Edward, this is a last resort.

More, Edward is a man of his time.

Edward was from an upper class family and, more to the point, still holds himself to the standards of the society he knew when human (much to Bella's amusement).

Edward wistfully talks about courting Bella, how he would have courted her had he been a true man in the time period he was familiar with, and why marriage to him is so very important.

That Edward doesn't seek out the approval of Charlie, Bella's father, is a hilarious aside to me. Edward's all about chivalry until all those old society standards get in his way.

What do you mean a gentleman doesn't sneak into a lady's apartments in the middle of the night to watch her slumber unawares?!

Regardless, marriage is extremely important to Edward, especially in the context of sex.

Edward will absolutely not have sex with a woman who is not first his wife. He also will not marry a girl that society defines as underage, he will wait until Bella's legal and probably until she finishes her primary schooling.

This means Edward was never likely to have sex with her before graduation and certainly not before her eighteenth birthday.

Which, at the earliest, puts her past the New Moon birthday bash.

Edward and Bella Do the Do Anyway

But let's pretend they do it anyway.

I'd say the most likely scenario is after the birthday disaster. This is it, Edward knows he is leaving Bella forever, if he is truly noble then he will never see her again.

Certainly, he will never interact with her nor hold her in his arms. To Edward, this is essentially his last true night on Earth.

So rather than pull a partial D.E.N.N.I.S. system, Edward pulls the full D.E.N.N.I.S. system, he initiates the "I" he was previously missing, "Inspire Hope". Or, in this case, get laid for the first and only time in his life.

He sneaks in through her window. They make beautiful, passionate, tepid love so Edward does not crush her in the act, and as she sleeps blissfully in the aftermath he sneaks back out the window to never be seen again.

(It takes Bella a week to admit that Edward just hit and run. The Cullens aren't coming back.)

However, because Edward didn't actually point blank tell her what was happening, rather than hit her New Moon stage of depression, Bella's instead in denial.

The Cullens are coming back. What, Carlisle has a new job? No, that can't be right, they're coming back. Alice would never leave her without a word. Edward would never leave her without a word.

Jessica pats Bella on the back consolingly and is secretly glad that it's not her. She might have been dumped by Edward Cullen, but at least he didn't humiliate her the way he did Bella Swan.

Leaving without a single word, yikes.

Two weeks go by then Bella gets the flu.

In a single day, she's unable to keep down anything. Huh, that's weird. Very quickly, Bella has her tampon epiphany. Bella is not a virgin, she had sex with Edward, she's late, and she appears to have a baby bump.

Bella is carrying Edward's child.

There is no question of aborting the child. This is Edward's child, the only piece she has left of him, even without Renesmee's gift it's ride or die. Bella is delivering this child even if it kills her.

However, she has some immediate issues.

First, she's visibly pregnant, it's been only two weeks. That's not supposed to happen. More, Charlie is bound to notice sooner rather than later, Bella would like to avoid that, the stigma of teen pregnancy, as well as the inhuman complications that are sure to come along.

Second, there's inhuman complications. Bella can't just go to an OBGYN, not even a town over. She's carrying something half human, a doctor will poke around and find that out, and then Bella's blowing the secret.

Bella knows vaguely of the Volturi at this point, but not the severity of the law, it's more that she promised Edward she would never tell a soul.

Plus, a human doctor wouldn't be able to help anyway.

That leaves vampires.

Bella tries to call/email the Cullens. However, thanks to Edward, all their numbers are disconnected and all their emails no longer exist. Her "Alice, help, I'm pregannant" messages are sent to a void.

(Alice, meanwhile, thinks she's finally successful in blocking visions of Bella. At least Edward will be off her back. Without the cliff diving and Jake, Alice does not assume Bella has died/committed suicide.)

A brief internet survey also yields Bella no results, but it does get her a lot of vampire porn. Thanks internet.

Bella... starts to get worried.

She's getting more and more pregnant in a matter of days, Charlie is starting to notice that she can't keep anything down, and the Cullens aren't taking her phone calls.

Then, Bella has it, she remembers that weird baroque painting Carlisle had of him and those Italian vampire dudes: the Volturi. Conveniently named after the city they live in, Volterra, Italy.

Bella debates her options.

Edward told her that these are the guys who make sure that humans who know the secret disappear. Well, Bella is a human who knows the secret, that's bad. Also bad is that they eat people, Bella is a person.

On the other hand, Edward implied these guys are civilized and friends of Carlisle. That's... good? Bella isn't sure she's on good terms with the Cullens, given the whole abrupt leaving thing, but maybe they don't have to know that.

Bella debates with herself, tries to look up the Denali, and only finds the National Park. She has no idea where these guys even live, or what they even look like besides "blonde hot vampire", and she's short on time. Plus, they are close with the Cullens, so the Cullens probably did tell them "Ew, Bella, No Gross, Do Not Want".

Because the Cullens all hate her now.

Bella has some money saved up, and this is probably a one way trip, and if she doesn't go then... well, it's not looking good. Bella musters up her courage, tells Charlie some outrageous fib to explain why she's disappearing off the face of the planet, and books a flight to Rome, then Pisa, then a bus ride to Volterra.

Bella subsists completely on blue gateorade, this doesn't go well, and she vomits blue in the parking lot.

Regardless, she makes it, huzzah she is in Volterra. It's sunny out and there are no vampires. Bella wanders around the city and looks for the most vampire building she can find.

Luckily, she happens to be right, and it's the very central castle. Well done, Bella.

Bella walks in and spots a vampire. She also spots a receptionist, Bella is very confused. Never the less, Bella says the magic words, "I'm a... friend of Carlisle Cullen?"

Even though Bella doesn't have Aro's name (or any of the other Volturi for that matter), Carlisle's name does the trick. Anyone who works for Aro knows that name.

Color Aro intrigued, he will meet this pregnant woman! (Caius, meanwhile, votes that they eat her immediately out of spite.)

Well, Aro touches her hand and lo and behold she's scarily gifted. And she knows Carlisle, what a great day to be Aro.

Aro explains that everything's totally fine with her knowing the secret, it just means they have to turn her eventually, after she gives birth of course.

Bella stares at him numbly and wonders why Edward made this such a big deal if it was that easy.

Aro insists Bella start from the beginning, as in the very beginning of her life. This is weird, but Bella complies.

An hour later they get to the interesting part: Bella meets Carlisle (and Edward Cullen, Aro guesses). Aro gets to hear the whole, sordid, ridiculous tale of Bella and Edward's romance including the part where he fucked her and ran off into the night.

Aro is stunned.

He first apologizes for the Cullens behavior, they should absolutely not have abandoned her, and not turning her was completely irresponsible (what the hell was Carlisle thinking?)

He then gives the bad news, he... has never heard of anything like this.

You see, normal vampires don't have sex with humans. It isn't done.

Also, there's this thing called Immortal Children (Edward tell you about that, no? Well, he probably thought it wasn't relevant). That thing your carrying might not be a child capable of growth but an insatiable monster.

Or it could be the alien from Aliens.

There's no way to tell, really.

BUT NO NEED TO WORRY, BELLA, THEY WILL FIGURE THIS OUT.

Aro promises Bella his protection and a period of observation for the child. Bella's not sure she likes that observation part, but this seems like a pretty sweet deal otherwise.

As for what to do, well, Aro has to call in the foremost vampire medical expert. Sorry, Bella, but there's only one man for the job.

Aro sends out Demetri to find Carlisle.

Demetri shows up on Carlisle's doorstep, "Carlisle, old friend, Aro has need of you. Your son knocked up a human girl."

Carlisle blinks, blinks again, then does a thousand yard stare. My God.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Edward is already on Victoria's tail. Carlisle tries to call him, to no avail, Edward isn't taking his phone calls.

Alice and Jasper are already on their trip to hunt down Alice's past. Plus, given the Volturi, they'd be unlikely to come anyway. Carlisle sends them a message.

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett travel to Volterra to clean up Edward's mess.

And sure enough, there's Bella, very pregnant with a child that is very much not human. Carlisle dies inside, Rosalie's on a warpath that Edward would abandon his pregnant girlfriend to the point where the only place she could turn was human drinking vampires.

Rosalie takes it upon herself to leave Edward the world's angriest voice messages until he returns her phone calls.

Aro's delighted to see Carlisle again. Even if he does have a wife now. Also, Aro claims finders keepers for Bella, Carlisle's not happy about this and less happy that Aro points out that if Edward cared so much he wouldn't be absent right now, would he?

They figure out the blood drinking thing, Carlisle desperately raids a hospital to prevent Bella from being fed the leftovers of the Volturi victims. This likely doesn't work out for him.

At the last possible moment, Edward finally picks up his phone. He learns that all he's tried to accomplish failed spectacularly. Bella is pregnant with his demon child, is literally drinking blood, and is in Vampire HQ with the leader insisting she will be turned immediately after the C-section.

Edward races to Volterra and strides into the room demanding Bella be aborted and remain human.

Aro stares.

Carlisle awkwardly explains that Bella's too far along, it's too late now even if they wanted to, more she adamantly doesn't want to abort and never did.

As for Bella being human... Bella pipes in that she's cool on becoming the vampire part. Aro's a great guy. She then races to embrace Edward, he's come back, after all this time. And he's going to be a father, isn't that wonderful?

Edward loses his mind.

And because this is Edward, I have no idea what he'll do, only it'll be utter madness. This is my best guess.

To be a little more serious, he probably tries to abort the child anyway, he mercy kills Bella and the child, or Renesmee manages to get through to him.

Given canon, it's likely the latter. Bella is convinced that her and Edward's relationship is perfect.

Aro has no idea what to think of any of this.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #bella swan #edward cullen #edward/bella #anti edward/bella #carlisle cullen #the volturi #aro #caius #demetri #rosalie hale #alice cullen #the cullens #the denali #meta #headcanon #opinion

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years

Photo

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 25-27 are below the cut.

heart

The imagery that really caught my attention this time was Peeta pointing out the changes in the moon to Katniss: The only indication of the passage of time lies in the heavens, the subtle shift of the moon. So Peeta begins pointing it out to me, insisting I acknowledge its progress and sometimes, for just a moment I feel a flicker of hope before the agony of the night engulfs me again. - So for one, we see another example of Peeta focusing on the small details in life (which I’ve previously hypothesized to being an important element in his recovery from his hijacking) as well as Peeta being the one to give Katniss hope, even if it’s just for a brief moment. Also, it’s a nice parallel to Katniss looking at the moon and desperately wishing for it to be “her moon” back in chapter 23. As a nocturnal person, I also love watching the moon from my living room window🌙

mind

Hmmh, I don’t think that Katniss and Peeta’s win was predetermined - although I do believe that by introducing the romantic angle, they significantly improved their odds. A Career winning the Games is not really that special and exciting, since it happens so often (although Careers generally satisfy that excitement for violence/blood/gore, that plenty of Capitol people seem to share). As a volunteer from District 12, who achieved an extremely good training score and proved herself to be very capable in the arena already, Katniss definitely had an edge by playing into the classic underdog story, which offered another exciting “narrative” for the Capitolites to follow - that, coupled (heh) with the romance angle Peeta introduced? Katniss (and Peeta) definitely had the entertainment (and excitement through novelty) factor on their side. Ironically, Cato’s chances of winning were not as good as he expected, precisely because he was playing it by the book.

soul

Poor Peeta (and Katniss), it hurts that their relationship was in such a rocky place by the end of the book. Especially those weeks right after the end of Book 1, when there were still cameras around District 12 and they had to pretend while hurting must have sucked big time🥺

Chapter 25

Ugh, the muttations are just so unsettling... *shudder*

Honestly, I’m just so impressed by Peeta’s presence of mind to draw that X on Cato’s hand, after he had just most of his calf ripped off, only to be grabbed and put in a headlock by Cato! He and Katniss work insanely well under pressure

God, Cato’s death is just so gruesome and awful... In the end, his “gift” from the Feast doesn’t help him win at all, but instead ends up prolonging his suffering a cruel amount... I wonder if in general these “gifts” come with a string attached (aside from the expected danger of trying to get them, I mean) - because the Gamemakers also intend for Katniss’s “gift” (medicine for Peeta) to force an even more cruel outcome on her - saving him from blood poisoning only to be forced into killing him herself... 🤔

I’m not sure if this is exactly medical protocol, but I’m terrified that if he drifts off he’ll never wake again. “Are you cold?” he asks. He unzips his jacket and I press against him as he fastens it around me. - Katniss is terrified of the idea of Peeta dying; at the same time, Peeta worries about her freezing - I can’t with these two 😩

Peeta begins to doze off now, and each time he does, I find myself yelling his name louder and louder because if he goes and dies on me now, I know I’ll go completely insane. He’s fighting it, probably more for me than for him - Katniss can’t lose any more people she cares about 😢; on a different note, Peeta fighting his unconsciousness “probably more for [Katniss] than for him” points out one of the crucial elements Katniss brings into Peeta’s life - she is that someone for whom he will fight - including for his own life and well-being - even when it feels easier to give up... Having that person in your life that keeps you going can make all the difference - if Katniss hadn’t had Prim and promised her “to really, really try” to win (and later also made Rue the same promise), I’m not sure she would have made it this far; it’s the thought of Prim anxiously watching her after Rue’s death, that forces Katniss to keep going, to not give in to despair after that particular traumatic event - Peeta, on the other hand, didn’t really have that kind of person in his life, as he will point out on the beach in CF (and Katniss acknowledges herself that the only person who will be devasted if Peeta dies is her)... that is not to say that neither Katniss nor Peeta aren’t fighters on their own - but it helps to have someone that inspires you to not give up

the adrenaline pumping through my body would never allow me to follow him, so I can’t let him go. I just can’t. - We’ll see the mirrored version of this by the end of Mockinjay

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into [Cato’s] skull. - Another act of rebellion, technically (sure, this can be spun as Katniss killing Cato so she and Peeta may win - before Peeta dies from blood loss - but we know better - Katniss’s motivation was compassion for her supposed enemy)

We inch down to the tail of the horn and fall to the ground. If the stiffness in my limbs is this bad, how can Peeta even move? - Peeta is tough as nails, yo!

Before I am even aware of my actions, my bow is loaded with the arrow pointed straight at his heart [...] I drop my weapons and take a step back, my face burning in what can only be shame. “No,” he says. “Do it.” [...] “I can’t,” I say, “I won’t.” - In spite of her initial reflex, Katniss chooses Peeta/ chooses not to kill him; it’s a recurring theme in their relationship (despite her wariness of others, she chooses to open up to Peeta eventually; although she vowed to never marry and have children, she’ll choose to have a family with Peeta); also, my psychology-brain just noticed how this moment illustrates how harmful thoughts/impulses don’t have to determine your actions and are not an indicator of who you are - it’s about what you choose to do

“You’re not leaving me here alone,” I say. Because if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really. I’ll spend the rest of my life in this areny trying to think my way out. - Again, makes me think of MJ; also, I think that from this point onwards, Katniss and Peeta are officially linked together forever; the bond they forged during this traumatic experience will connect them to each other until the day they die

“On the count of three?” Peeta leans down and kisses me once, very gently. “The count of three,” he says. - My heart😭

Chapter 26

... while our muscles are immobile, nothing is preventing the blood from draining out of Peeta’s leg. Sure enough, the minute the door closes behind us and the current stops, he slumps to the floor unconscious [...] Through the glass, I see the doctors working feverishly on Peeta, their brows creased in concentration [...] I’m not sure, but I think his heart stops twice. - Peeta was in such a bad shape by the end of the Games; I’m still kinda salty that the movie really glossed over this fact :/

... they’re taking Peeta but leaving me behind the door. I start hurling myself against the glass, shrieking and I think I just catch a glimpse of pink hair - it must be Effie, it has to be Effie coming to my rescue - when the needle jabs me from behind. - Oh geez, in Catching Fire Katniss will also get sedated in a hovercraft because she’s upset about being separated from Peeta 😢 (also, Katniss thinking that Effie is coming to her rescue 😭)

While she [Lavinia, the avox] adjusts my pillows, I risk one question. I say it out loud, as clearly as my rusty voice will allow, so nothing will seem secretive. “Did Peeta make it?” She gives me a nod, and as she slips a spoon into my hand, I feel the pressure of friendship. - Katniss is so considerate of Lavinia’s situation, and Lavinia’s giving her a gesture of comfort and support; they’ve never been able to have a proper conversation (Katniss doesn’t even know Lavinia’s name), but still they managed to build up such a bond - compassion certainly is a strong thing to behold 😭 (and this whole scene is just through and through about compassion, with Katniss asking how Peeta is doing!)

Home! Prim and my mother! Gale! Even the thought of Prim’s scruffy old cat makes me smile. Soon I will be home! - Katniss is so excited to see her home and her loved ones again

I want to get out of this bed. To see Peeta and Cinna - Aww, the two people she grew closest to over the course of the past weeks (Haymitch will be added to that list in just a smidge)

Or do I hear a man’s voice yelling? Not in the Capitol accent, but in the rougher cadences of home. And I can’t help having a vague, comforting feeling that someone is looking out for me. - Thank God for Haymitch!

And behind one of them [doors] must be Peeta. Now that I’m conscious and moving, I’m growing more and more anxious about him [...] “Peeta!” I call out, since there’s no one to ask - Katniss is sick with worry over Peeta; romantic feelings or not, she cares so fricking much for him by now!

I run for them [Effie, Haymitch, and Cinna] and surprise even myself when I launch into Haymitch’s arms first. When he whispers in my ear, “Nice job, sweetheart,” it doesn’t sound sarcastic. - These reunion scenes are so intense and heartwarming! And then Katniss asks about Portia and Peeta because their presence would make this scene complete

when I asks for seconds, I’m refused. “No, no, no. They don’t want it all coming back up on the stage,” says Octavia, but she secretly slips me an extra roll under the table to let me know she’s on my side - It’s moments like these that help humanize Katniss’s prep team - they might be shallow, they might be completely oblivious and ignorant, but they aren’t that bad [of course, the prep team chattering about their mundane lives while talking about the event that ended with the deaths of 22 children shortly after, leaves a bad taste in our mouths]

I immediately notice the padding over my breasts, adding curves that hunger has stolen from my body. My hands go to my chest and I frown. “I know,” says Cinna before I can object. “But the Gamemakers wanted to alter you surgically. Haymitch had a huge fight with them over it. This was the compromise.” - God, the idea that the Gamemakers wanted to give a boob job to an unconscious, malnourished 16-year-old girl makes me sick 🤢 (Also, what’s the flipping deal about boobs?! As a pretty flat-chested gal, I’ve always been annoyed that there are barely any bras my cup size that are not push-up ones; I’m not self-conscious about it, so stop making me pretend that I’m bustier than I actually am!)

“I thought it’d be something more... sophisticated-looking,” I say. “I thought Peeta would like this better,” he [Cinna] answers carefully. Peeta? No, it’s not about Peeta. It’s about the Capitol and the Gamemakers and the audience. Although I do not yet understand Cinna’s design, it’s a reminder the Games are not quite finished. - Ugh, that sinking feeling when Katniss and the reader realize that the Games are still not over... Sidenote: Peeta flirted up a storm with grimy, bloodied Katniss and complimented her when she wore Cinna’s first, absolutely badass costume (”You should wear flames more often”)... Katniss’s girlish outfit has nothing to do with Peeta and she knows it... Cinna could have dressed Katniss up in a trash bag and Peeta would have been smitten - although a trash bag by Cinna would probably still look pretty good ;)

“How about a hug for luck?” Okay, that’s an odd request from Haymitch but, after all we are victors. Maybe a hug for luck is in order. - Aww, Katniss actually wouldn’t have minded giving Haymitch a hug just because - sadly, this is about survival tips instead :/

But what was it Haymitch said when I asked it he had told Peeta the situation? That he had to pretend to be desperately in love? “Don’t have to. He’s already there.” Already thinking ahead of me in the Games again and well aware of the danger we’re in? Or... already desperately in love? I don’t know. I haven’t even begun to separate out my feelings about Peeta. It’s too complicated. - Poor Katniss... she didn’t have the time and peace of mind to sort out her feelings regarding Peeta before they all got tied up and muddled with her need for survival. Now she’ll be having an even harder time trying to untangle that mess :(

Chapter 27

Then there’s Peeta just a few yards away. He looks so clean and healthy and beautiful, I can hardly recognize him. But his smile is the same whether in mud or in the Capitol and when I see it, I take about three steps and fling myself into his arms [...] He rights himself and we just cling to each other while the audience goes insane. He’s kissing me and all the time I’m thinking, Do you know? Do you know how much danger we’re in? After about ten minutes of this, Caesar Flickerman taps on his choulder to continue the show, and Peeta just pushes him aside without even glancing at him. - Man, their reunion here always gets me - it would be so fricking good if Katniss didn’t have to worry about their potential doom 😒😔 - she barely has time to just be happy to see Peeta alive and well before slipping back into survival mode while Peeta is just genuinely thrilled to have her in his arms, completely unaware of the pressure and immediate danger Katniss experiences in this moment... It hurts so bad

I’m with Katniss - How did the previous victors endure rewatching those horrible moments from the Games?! I guess because they had to, but oof... I think I’d just completely shut down, blocking out the footage shown, ugh

But I do notice they omit the part where I covered her [Rue] in flowers. Right. Because even that smacks of rebellion. - In such a callous and cruel place as Panem, any act of compassion can be regarded as rebellion, it’s crazy. In a place filled with apathy, hedonism, greed, and cruelty, the most radical things you can exhibit are love, kindness, and respect!

A wave of gratitude to the filmmakers sweeps over me when they end not with the announcement of our victory, but with me pounding on the glass door of the hovercraft, screaming Peeta’s name as they try to revive him. In terms of survival, it’s my best moment all night. - Again, another instance where Katniss’s genuine feelings/reactions to Peeta are get muddled with her need for survival

The one thing I never do is let go of Peeta’s hand. - irrevocably linked with each other

Despite Haymitch’s running interference, I’m determined to see Peeta privately. - Katniss just wants to have an honest and open talk with Peeta 😢 (I get where Haymitch is coming from, and maybe in this instance it’s the right call, but we’ll see a similar situation in the beginning of CF when Haymitch advises Katniss not to tell Peeta about President Snow’s visit and that time, it doesn’t go so well...)

Then Peeta’s there looking handsome in red and white - for someone who isn’t sure whether she’s into him or not, Katniss sure mentions how good Peeta’s looking a lot 😏

“Well, there’s just this and we go home. Then he can’t watch us all the time,” says Peeta. - 👀👀 Peeta is so thirsty here; reminds me of when he pulled Katniss close to him in the cave before they set out to hunt... He clearly believes she’s also “already there” regarding their relationship; he’s never this “suggestive” (can’t think of a better word right now) with her once she lets him know that she doesn’t really know how she feels about him - I feel a sort of shiver run through me and there’s no time to analyze why - Katniss totally isn’t averse to what Peeta’s suggesting here, either (though there’s probably also a healthy amount of fear mixed in with the thrill of being wanted - letting people in can be terrifying)

I can feel Peeta press his forehead into my temple and he asks, “So now that you’ve got me, what are you going to do with me?” I turn in to him. “Put you somewhere you can’t get hurt.” And when he kisses me, people in the room actually sigh. - It’s me; I’m people 🙋🏼‍♀️ (also, the “turn in to him”?!?!! it just suggests such a closeness, I can’t-)

Katniss burying her face in Peeta’s shirt when she’s afraid she might cry learning that he lost his leg 🥺 (how awful it must be to be constantly on display while you’re dealing with your private feelings, ugh)

“... The moment when you pulled out those berries. What was going on in your mind... hm?” [...] It seems to call for a big, dramatic speech, but all I get out is one almost inaudible sentences. “I don’t know, I just... couldn’t bear the thought of... being without him.” - It might not be a super eloquent way to put what she was supposed to say, but this way, Katniss is being perfectly honest (and frankly, if she’d had the chance to properly process her feelings, she would have been able to voice this sentiment with less hesitation)

I go back to my room to collect a few things and find there’s nothing to take but the mockingjay pin Madge gave me. Someone returned it to my room after the Games. - For one, Katniss didn’t think of that pin (again), but also - was the pin returned to her simply because it’s standard procedure or did someone (like Plutarch, for example) arrange for Katniss to get the pin back, to keep her connection to this symbol going?

I stare in the mirror as I try to remember who I am and who I am not. - Poor Katniss! She’s been through so much, experienced so many traumatic events in short succession recently (aside from the trauma she already had), already had problems defining her identity beyond sheer survival, and now the Capitol also keeps pushing an identity onto her and a romantic relationship, when she hadn’t even had the chance to figure out how she felt about that yet

“... Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I didn’t make it worse,” I say. “Coaching you? But not me,” says Peeta. “He knew you were smart enough to get it right,” I say. “I didn’t know there was anything to get right,” says Peeta. - Oh boy. It’s always so painful to see Peeta realize that he’s been completely out of the loop; again, we’ll see how Katniss and Haymitch adopt a similar strategy in the beginning of CF: banking on Peeta’s good social skills and eloquence and keeping him in the dark. In a way, it’s a sort of compliment they pay to Peeta for being good with people, but, by not telling him, they are also using him for their purpose (which is motivated by caring for and wanting to protect Peeta, but still). Peeta is right to be upset about it - he has always been very clear about not wanting to be used as a piece in anyone’s games, really. And, as we will see later in CF, they are way more effective as a team when they are open and honest with each other.

“It was all for the Games,” Peeta says. “How you acted.” “Not all of it,” I say, tightly holding on to my flowers. “Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is what’s going to be left when we get home?” he says. “I don’t know. The closer we get to District Twelve, the more confused I get,” I say. He waits, for further explanation, but none’s forthcoming. “Well, let me know when you work it out,” he says, and the pain in his voice is palpable. - It’s just so goddamn painful😢 They’ve both been done so dirty by that forced star-crossed lovers of Distrct 12 routine. (Sidenote: I appreciate that Peeta actually gives Katniss the chance to explain herself here - still, it’s too much to deal with on the spot so I can understand why Katniss ended up dropping the ball, even though it’s frustrating to read.)

That it’s not good loving me because I’m never going to get married anyway and he’d just end up hating me later instead of sooner. That if I do have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never be able to afford the kind of love that leads to a family, to children. And how can he? How can he after what we’ve just been through? - Oh Katniss, you certainly are skipping a couple of steps here; I’m pretty sure there are some options in between dating and being married with kids you could look into. Also, she’s just assuming that this is what Peeta wants, but she doesn’t know that at all - As someone who also has this stupid habit of imagining how whole conversations could possibly transpire and then resigning myself to the hypothetical outcome of said imagined conversation instead of actually having them: Don’t do that. ‘Never assume - it makes an ASS out of U and ME.’

I see Peeta extend his hand. I look at him, unsure. “One more time? For the audience?” he says. His voice isn’ t angry. It’s hollow, which is worse. Already the boy with the bread is slipping away from me. I take his hand, holding it tightly, preparing for the cameras, and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go. - Ma babies! They are both so hurt and both just want to be with each other 😭 But they’ll need some time apart, to figure things out before they can do that.

#thgagain #thg #hunger games #everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #my sketches and drawings #thg meta

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petersasteria · 3 years

Text

Marriage - Tom Holland

Pairing: Doctor!Tom x Lawyer!Reader Requested? Nah 7,630 words TW; character death, very angsty as usual, an unusual ending

The one is bold is the question from the activity.

* * * *

It was 7 o’clock in the morning and everyone in your house was busy. Tom, your husband, was checking your kids’ backpacks while you made sure your kids ate breakfast. They were invited by Mr. and Mrs. Bergstein on a camping trip with their kids. Of course, you and Tom happily agreed. It’d be nice to take a break from the kids just this once. You and Tom didn’t worry too much about them because your kids are 10 and 8 years old. Both of them are boys and you wanted to try for a little girl this time. Only, there was one problem.

“Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Bergstein are here! It’s time to go!” Tom shouted from the living room after checking from the window. Your sons, Jacob and Mason, immediately got up from their seats and ran out of the house.

“You didn’t drink anything, Jacob!” You shouted from the dining area. Jacob quickly came back and finished his full glass of orange juice. You smiled at him as you wiped his mouth. You kissed the top of his head and said, “Behave, okay? Take care of your little brother, but most of all, have fun! I’ll call you guys every night.”

“Okay, mum. I love you!” Jacob smiled before leaving again. You and Tom followed behind him as you waved at them from the front door.

“Bye, kids!” Tom shouted with a smile on his face as he waved with his other arm wrapped around your shoulder. You and Tom watched as the kids waved from inside the car.

“I can’t believe you didn’t have the decency to pack their things last night. Do you know how tired I am?!” Tom quietly said while smiling at the kids.

“I can’t believe you’re complaining! You don’t even help around the house and the one time I ask you to do something, you’re pissed? How fucking dare you!” You said, the same way as Tom. You didn’t want the kids to see you fighting.

The Bergsteins drove away and as soon as they did, you shrugged off Tom’s arm around your shoulder and went inside without another word. Tom followed and slammed the door when he got in.

“You’re such a bitch, you know that?” Tom said angrily.

“You’re such an asshole, you know that?” You mimicked. “I fucking hate you! The only good things you gave me were Jacob and Mason! Other than those two, all you gave me were headaches and your whining! News flash: when you whine and complain, NOTHING CHANGES AND NOTHING GETS DONE.”

“Well, I’m sorry for making you so fucking upset! I’m sorry that I have a job that’s always stressing me out and I’m sorry that I don’t have time for everything and everyone in this house!” Tom shouted.

“Oh, please! I know how you fucking feel because I’m a lawyer and the cases I handle are so out of this fucking world and it adds to my problems! You and I aren’t so different in terms of having a busy work life, but I make time to do my part as a wife and a mother!” You hissed.

That was the problem. Both of you hated each other’s guts. You don’t know when it started and despite everything, you and Tom agreed that Mason was definitely the result of angry sex. In fact, that was the last intimate moment you had together. After having Mason, yours and Tom’s love life just went downhill. You loved your kids, but you weren’t sure if you loved each other anymore. For the first time in 14 years, you and Tom questioned your relationship.

You and Tom have been together since you were 16. You got married at 23, had Jacob at 24 and had Mason at 26. Now you and Tom are 34 years old and both of you can’t be bothered to make a third child. In Tom’s words, ‘FUCK THAT SHIT.’

“Are you saying that I’m not doing my part as a husband and as a father?!” Tom shouted.

“Yeah!”

“I provide for this family!”

“I provide for this family too and I’m so tired goddammit!” You yelled before retreating to your shared bedroom. Tom watched in anger and shouted, “I hate you!”

“The feeling’s mutual!” You shouted back before grabbing your work clothes and entering your en suite bathroom.

Tom scoffed and asked the maid to clean up in the dining room. It was his day off today and he didn’t want to do anything for the whole day. He just wanted to relax, but that was ruined when you asked him to pack the kids’ bags for a camping trip with the Bergsteins.

Half an hour later, you went down already ready for work. You were putting an earring on when you looked at Tom to find him watching golf on TV.

“I’m off to work now.” You said.

“Good riddance! At least no one’s going to boss me around.” Tom rolled his eyes as he said that without leaving his gaze from the television. What he said made your blood boil, but you didn’t say anything. You had to go to court today and you refused to let your emotions and personal problems get in the way of an important case. So you put your heels on, grabbed your things, and left without another word.

When you left, Tom looked at the door and sighed. Regardless of the constant arguing, Tom hated it when you argued. He hated all the fights, he hated the fact that you slept next to each other but turned on opposite sides, he hated not exchanging I love you’s anymore, he hated being angry all the time, but most of all, he hated not being partners in crime anymore. A few weeks ago, you told him to just leave. He didn’t because he made a vow to stay with you through thick and thin.

You hated fighting too and if you were being honest, you didn’t know what happened. It just started going downhill. There was no doubt that you loved Tom and he loved you, but sometimes things just don’t work out between two people who loved each other since they were 16.

Work was tiring as always and as if work wasn’t tiring enough, Tom texted you and said that your parents were trying to contact you, but for some reason couldn’t get a hold of you so they called Tom instead. Apparently, your parents made reservations at a restaurant for dinner and they realized that they couldn’t make it. They didn’t want to cancel because they would be asked to pay a cancellation fee. Your parents want you and Tom to take the reservation instead.

Upon reading Tom’s message, you called him and he answered immediately. “What did you tell them?” You asked Tom as soon as he answered. You were walking to your car while trying to find your car keys.

“Hello to you too, darling.” He said sarcastically and you could imagine him rolling his eyes. “I told them that we’d go. I’m already dressed and I’m literally on my way out the house.”

You found your keys and sighed before unlocking your car. “Fine. How will you go there? Do you want me to pick you up? Or will you take a cab?”

“I’ll just take a cab. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you, Y/N. I’m sure having dinner with me is at the bottom of your list, but I love your parents too much to say no.” Tom hissed as he walked out of the house.

“I didn’t mean it that way, alright?! I’m just tired. I’ll see you at the restaurant.” You said as you put your things in the backseat of your car.

“Bye.” Tom said before hanging up. You tossed your phone on the passenger seat before getting in and driving to the restaurant. When you parked the car, you quickly fixed your appearance and practiced a smile before grabbing your phone and bag before getting out of the car and locking it.

Tom got there first and he was already munching on the free bread and sipping wine. He saw you and lazily waved you over. You walked towards him and sat across.

“Have you ordered?” You asked and he shook his head.

“I was waiting for you.” He replied with his mouthful which made you roll your eyes. “Can you stop being a pig for once?” You whispered.

Tom rolled his eyes, took a sip of wine, and swallowed his food. “Can you give me a break? Today’s the day when I don’t handle a patient’s death or sickness or check up or anything else. Let me be human and forget a few manners, alright? It’s not like I’ll die if I talk with my mouth full.”

“Yeah, but you could choke on it.” You explained.

“Oooh, kinky.” Tom said sarcastically.

The waitress came and handed your menus before leaving again. The waitress was your saving grace and you were happy that you could pay attention to the menu and not Tom. You honestly couldn’t deal with him at the moment. After five minutes of scanning the menu, both of you called for the waitress and gave her your orders. The waitress immediately left after taking your orders and you and Tom were silent.

Tom coughed awkwardly, “How was work?”

“Stressful and I have to be in court again tomorrow.” You told him.

“The pro bono case?” Tom asked.

You nodded, “The pro bono case. I genuinely feel bad for my client and I hope I win this one for him.”

“What’s his case?” Tom asked. For the first time in forever, both of you were normal, functioning human beings.

“His daughter got taken away from him simply because everyone said that he has the mental capacity of a 7-year-old and that his daughter is already becoming smarter than him. His daughter’s teacher also said that they think she’s holding back from learning all because of her father. They’re bullshitting, I swear.” You answered before grabbing a piece of bread and scarfing down on it as if you haven’t eaten in days.

“Well, do you?”

“Do I what?” You asked after swallowing the bread.

“Do you think he has the mental capacity of a 7-year-old?” Tom asked. The waitress arrived with your food and you thanked her. Tom poured you a glass of wine for you to drink and you took a sip before answering.

“No.” You shook your head. “He has autism, but I think he’s very capable of being a parent. Hell, he’s been raising the kid alone for seven years, so why do they all doubt him now? It just makes me so angry that they think that way.”

The dinner went surprisingly well and Tom even offered to pay for the bill. You were happy that both of you were functional human beings again and you didn’t fight anymore even when you arrived home. You even got to cuddle up to him when you laid in bed and he kissed the top of your head.

“Oh shit.” You said suddenly.

“What?”

“We forgot to call the kids.”

“Oh shit.” Tom sighed. “Let’s just give them a quick call now. I’m sure they’re tired.”

You grabbed your phone from the nightstand and quickly pressed Jacob’s contact to call him. His phone rang as you put it on speaker and he answered after the third ring.

“Hi, mum!” Jacob said from the other line. “Mason, come say hi to mum.”

“Hi, mum!” Mason greeted.

“Hey kids!” You smiled. “Your dad’s here too. Say hi to your dad.”

“Hi, dad!” The two said at the same time.

“Hey, boys! We miss you already.” Tom said. “What did you guys do today?”

“We went fishing!” Mason said cheerfully. “Yeah, and we had smores. It was delicious!” Jacob added with a small giggle which made your heart swell and forget your problems. You really loved your kids and you would do anything and everything for them.

You spent the rest of the night talking to your kids and it felt like nothing was wrong anymore. But of course, you knew it was temporary. You knew better than to keep your hopes up. You knew that when you wake up in the morning, Tom would already be ready for work and say the coldest ‘goodbye’ to you as if you didn’t cuddle at all the night before.

You were right. Except this time, he added a small ‘good luck in court today’ which made you smile a bit before waving goodbye to him.

You sighed to yourself as soon as he left before getting ready for the day. You wished you could go back in time to where this coldness and the arguments began because you had no clue how to fix it now. You couldn’t blame Tom and you didn’t blame yourself and you most certainly didn’t blame your kids. It’s hard to solve a case when you can’t even solve your own problems at home.

Two days later, Jacob and Mason are finally back from the camping trip and you can’t wait to spend time with them. You missed them dearly. You took a day off to be with them and as much as Tom wanted to go, he had an emergency to tend to at the hospital.

“Hi!” You greeted as soon as you saw your kids get out of the car. They ran up to you and you hugged them tightly as you kissed the top of their heads. Your sons were yours and Tom’s pride and joy. They were your angels.

You pulled away from them and thanked the Bergsteins for the camping trip before waving them goodbye as they drove away. You three went inside and helped them unpack their things as they told you stories of what happened.

Since you didn’t go to work today, you knew you had to make up for it. So after dinner and after readying the kids for bed, you went to your home office and started working. Tom came home an hour later. He took off his coat and took his shoes off as the maid reheated the dinner that was left for him. He went into the dining room and thanked her before loosening his tie and eating.

No one noticed it, but he was tired. He wished he could quit his job, but he knew that if he did that, he’d be very unhappy. Being a doctor has been his dream for so long and he wasn’t going to give that up. It was his passion and he loved it. He loved seeing happy patients getting out of the hospital, he loved seeing his fellow doctors telling patients that they’re cancer free, he loved seeing a patient’s loved ones visiting with balloons and flowers. It’s true what people say, you really see true emotions in either a hospital or airport. Mostly in a hospital.

Tom rubbed the sleep off his eyes before quickly finishing his food. He just remembered Jacob and Mason were already home and he wanted to see them. Tom loved his sons and he would do everything to make them happy and protected. He loved his little family and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

He got out of his seat, washed the plate and utensils he used, dried and put them back before going to his sons’ shared room. He gently knocked on the door before entering. He silently hoped that they were awake so he could hear about the things they did in their trip because he knew that he’d have to wake up at 4AM and do the same routine again. He wanted to catch up with his kids because he feels like he’s been missing out a lot and he hated that. He swore to himself that he’d become the best father for them and that included hearing them out no matter what it was they wanted to say.

He opened the door and saw them half-asleep watching something on Netflix. He smiled at the sight and said softly, “Hey, guys.”

Jacob and Mason turned to face the door and smiled brightly when they saw their father. Tom grinned as he walked in and quietly closed the door. The kids ran up to him and gave him a big hug which Tom returned. His sorrows were washed away and it hurts to admit that when his two boys will be teenagers, they wouldn’t want to hug their dad anymore. Right now, he’s cherishing it before they turn into monstrous rebels that sneak out to party. Although, he hoped his boys wouldn’t be like that.

Tom kissed their foreheads before sitting on the large beanbag as the kids sat on his lap. “Tell me all about your camping trip. Was it fun? Did you see bears?”

“I saw an eel and Eli caught a fish!” Mason exclaimed as he excitedly told the story. Eli was the Bergsteins’ youngest son. He’s the same age as Mason.

“Wow! Really? Did you catch a fish?” Tom asked him and Mason shook his head. Mason didn’t seem bothered about it, though. “I saw a butterfly and a caterpillar. They were beautiful like mum.” Mason smiled as Tom nodded and brushed the hair off of Mason’s face.

“Yes, your mum is very beautiful.” Tom smiled. Jacob watched the interaction between his little brother and his father and he was slightly jealous that Mason got his parents’ attention. He knew that the love was equal, but he just didn’t see it that way. Jacob loved his brother and he would do anything to protect him, but sometimes he wished his parents would realize that he’s their son too and he needed attention just as much as Mason.

Mason is the exact definition of a ball of sunshine. He always saw the good in people and he stopped fights in school because he hated it when people fight. It pained him to see you and Tom fighting even though you hid it from him and Jacob, he could still hear it and he could sense when something’s wrong. He was a peacemaker and he loved nature. In fact, you and Tom decided to have a small garden corner for Mason in the backyard. Mason was often teased in school for being effeminate and Jacob would always defend him. It broke Jacob’s heart to see that his precious little brother is being teased for being who he is.

Mason loved flowers. He didn’t have a favorite and if you ask him, his answer changes every time. Despite his different answers, you, Tom, and Jacob thought each thought about different flowers that suit him. To Jacob, the flower that suited Mason best is zinnia because it means goodness and to him, it definitely described Mason. To Tom, Mason suited a chrysanthemum because it means cheerfulness and positivity and it truly defined Mason. To you, he suited a baby’s breath because it means innocence, love, purity, and sincerity.

In truth, all of those flowers suited Mason. That’s why you and Tom fought when trying to decide the kind of flowers to get for Mason’s funeral.

It all happened so fast.

Knowing his love for nature, you and Tom took the kids to a nature park for Mason’s 9th birthday. You knew he would appreciate it and you knew he wanted to spend time with his family on his special day. So, you and Tom organized it, surprisingly, without fighting.

You went to the park and there was a lake there where everyone could swim. It was a little pricey, but you and Tom thought that it was okay to spend a little over the budget for the kids to swim. So, you all swam.

When it was time to get out of the water, you noticed that only Jacob got out. Mason was nowhere to be found. That made you panic.

“Jake,” You called your eldest son. Jake was his nickname. “Where’s your brother?” Upon hearing your question, Tom stopped packing your things and went over to you and Jacob.

“What’s going on?” Tom asked as he dried his hair with a towel.

“Mason’s missing.” You said in panic. You had a bad feeling and you guessed that it was your maternal instincts kicking in. “I don’t like this one bit, T. I feel like something bad just happened.”

Tom turned to Jacob and asked, “Where’s Mason?”

“I don’t know.” Jacob shrugged. “We were playing and I never saw him again. Should I go back in the wa-”

“No!” You said loudly, cutting him off. “Don’t go back in there. It’s dangerous.”

“I’ll go look for a lifeguard or something. Stay here.” Tom said sternly, going into full dad mode before running to immediately find someone who could help. Not even a minute later, he comes back with the nature park’s rescue team as they search for Mason in the lake. Tom went with them as you stayed with Jacob.

“Will Mason be okay?” Jacob asked, his eyes full of worry as they stared back at you. You gave him a small smile and said, “Yes, he’ll be okay. They’ll find him. I know they will.” Jacob nodded and you engulfed him in an embrace as he sat on your lap. In truth, you didn’t know what to do. Your mind was thinking of so many things at once and your heart was racing.

An hour later, Tom and the rescue team come back with Mason’s cold body. His lips were pale and judging by the look on Tom’s face, Mason needs to be in the hospital as soon as possible.

“They called an ambulance already and they should be here by now.” Tom told you. “I’ll go with them and you and Jacob can follow.”

“Okay.” You cried. The three of you quickly changed into dry clothing, grabbed your things and went to the front of the nature park where the ambulance was waiting. Mason was quickly brought inside the ambulance while Tom followed suit.

“Just follow the ambulance!” Tom called out to you before the paramedic got in and closed the door. Your body ran on autopilot. You hurriedly stuffed your things in the backseat of your car before getting in with Jacob. You pulled out the parking lot and quickly drove to catch up with the ambulance.

Tom arrived at the hospital first and Mason was brought to the emergency room. Tom waited outside and after a few minutes, a doctor told Tom that Mason was dead on arrival. It was heartbreaking. As a doctor himself, Tom had his fair share of telling families that their loved one has passed. He just didn’t expect that he’d be the receiving end of it and it shattered him. When you and Jacob arrived, Tom broke the news to you and you let out the most painful cry. Jacob cried too. Jacob blamed himself for Mason’s death, but you and Tom assured him that it was no one’s fault.

Today’s the funeral and you were arguing with Tom. You were in the anger stage of grieving and it broke Jacob’s heart seeing you two fight.

“I want the baby’s breath flowers for him to hold in the coffin!” You shouted.

“Well, I want the chrysanthemum!” Tom yelled. “That’s final!”

“You can’t just decide what’s final and what isn’t! I’m his parent too, in case you forgot!” You angrily shouted as you stood in front of Tom. Tom was about to yell, but Jacob beat him to it.

“Stop fighting!” Jacob cried, causing both of you to face him. “Mason would hate both of you for fighting right now! He seriously would! Can you guys just compromise? I understand that you guys are very sad and I’m sad too. But we have to go now and let’s just agree that Mason can hold all of the flowers we got him. He loves them all, anyway.”

Yours and Tom’s heart broke seeing Jacob cry and you felt so bad that you forgot all about him. You knew Tom forgot about him too. Tom looked at you and nodded, “He’s right.”

You nodded and said, “Okay. Jake, we’re sorry.”

“Let’s just go.” Jacob said as he walked out of the house.

The funeral was short and simple. You three got to see Mason one last time as you all put the flowers in Mason’s hands. They closed the coffin and lowered it down six feet under. You will never get over the pain of burying your son; your youngest. Things will never be the same again.

After the funeral, you and Tom were back to your fighting routines. Jacob didn’t have the energy to stop you guys anymore. In fact, you were so busy fighting and working that you didn’t notice Jacob anymore. You never went to his room because it hurts too much knowing that Mason stayed there too. What you didn’t realize was Jacob’s pain. It hurt him to sleep in the room he once shared with his brother. It hurt him to not hear Mason’s voice not calling his attention when he wanted a midnight snack. It hurt him to lose his number one partner in crime.

A few months later, it’s Tom’s parents’ wedding anniversary party. Things have already been downhill by that time and Jacob wasn’t talking to both of you at all and that worried you and Tom.

You arrived at Tom’s childhood home because that’s where the party was being held and after Tom parked the car, all of you got out of the car. Tom locked it and entered the house first with you and Jacob behind him.

“Tom!” Nikki smiled as she walked towards him and kissed his cheek before giving him a warm embrace. She turned to you and did the same. “How are you?” She asked.

“I’m doing better.” You smiled as you put your hands on Jacob’s shoulders. Nikki smiled and turned to Jacob, “How are you, young man?”

“Fine.” Jacob said.

“How’s football?” Nikki asked him again, hoping to get an elaborate answer. She missed the 10-year-old boy who resembled Tom.

“I quit a few weeks ago.” Jacob said as he shrugged off your hands and went to his uncles. You sighed and Tom shook his head upon seeing that.

“I’m sorry about that, Nikki.” You apologized and she waved you off saying it was nothing. She said that Jacob was probably just upset about something and that he’ll come around soon. “I hope that’s true.” You told her.

“It’ll pass. Don’t worry about it.” Nikki assured you.

The party began and everyone was having fun. You went to the kitchen to get yourself a drink and on the way there, you saw Tom and his ex talking and laughing. You knew it meant nothing and you knew it was ridiculous to be jealous of his ex especially because he chose you in the end, but you couldn’t help it.

Forgetting about your drink, you walked up to them and cleared your throat. “Tom, can you help me with the drinks in the kitchen?” You asked sweetly.

“Okay.” He said, before excusing himself from his ex. They were still friends and their breakup was mutual. Tom didn’t have feelings for her anymore and he loved you despite the hardships and fights.

You went to the kitchen and Tom trailed behind you. You turned to face him and he immediately asked, “Okay, what’s wrong? I know you don’t need help with drinks.”

He knew you too well.

“How’s your ex?” You asked with your arms crossed. Tom groaned. “No, tell me. How is she? What did she tell you that was so funny? If you find her so amusing, why don’t you just date her? Oh, no you can’t because you’re married to me!”

“I fucking knew it!” Tom raised his voice, causing the people in the house to look at both of you. “You know, you’re so jealous! I was literally catching up with her and you’re making an issue! That’s what’s wrong with you!”

“Oh, wow!” You chuckled. “So if I were to talk to my ex and laugh with him, would you be jealous?”

“Yes, I would! But I wouldn’t make a scene and I wouldn’t worry too much about it because I know that at the end of the day, you come home TO ME; your husband. I trust you, but you don’t fucking trust me and it’s insane!” Tom shrieked.

“Oh, so now I’m insane?!”

“Yeah, you are! How can you get it through your thick head? Nothing’s going on between me and her! We’re just friends and there’s nothing to worry about!”

“That’s where it all starts.” You said. “You become friends and then you hang out again and then before you know it, you’re going on secret dates and then you’re cheating.”

Tom laughed bitterly, “See what I’m talking about?! You already made some shit up! I can’t believe your spewing random stories out of your fucking mouth! God, you’re so irritating sometimes!”

“IF YOU FIND ME SO IRRITATING, WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH ME?!”

“IF YOU DON’T FUCKING TRUST ME, WHY ARE WE STILL FUCKING MARRIED?!”

At this point, you and Tom were loudly and shamelessly arguing in the kitchen. You forgot about the guests and you forgot about the party. Dom, Tom’s father, had to tell everyone the party was over, so that they could all leave and not witness your fight.

Jacob shook his head at the sight and said, “They do this all the time. I’m used to it now. I bought myself headphones to keep myself company. Those headphones are my best friends now.”

Taking pity on Jacob, Paddy said, “What music do you listen to? The speaker’s still in the garden and we can plug in your phone there, so we can listen together.”

Sam heard and nodded, “Yeah, I’ll join in too. What’re you into?”

“Count me in. Shit is heated here and I need a break.” Harry sighed before earning a nudge from Sam. “Ouch, what was that for?”

“Watch your mouth.” Sam said.

“That’s fine. I’ve heard so many curse words now. Let’s just go to the garden.” Jacob said as he led the way.

Nikki closed the backdoor after all of them went to the garden and she quickly went back to the kitchen to stop you guys from fighting.

“Hey!” She shouted, causing you and Tom to stop. “Let’s talk in the living room.”

Now, here you were in the living room with Tom, Nikki, and Dom. You never thought that you would ever receive an intervention of some kind.

“Why are you fighting?” Dom asked.

“She was jealous because I was talking to my ex and she was being super unreasonable. It’s so irritating.” Tom answered as he rolled his eyes.

“Have you ever hit each other?” nikki asked and you shook your head. “We would never hit each other.” You cleared up, earning a nod from her.

“Have you ever thought about marriage counseling?” Dom asked and you and Tom shook your heads.

“We don’t need it.” Tom said. “We’re just having a rough patch at the moment.”

Dom laughed, “That’s a funny way of saying it. Son, you’ve been fighting for YEARS. I think it’s time for both of you to get some help and sort out everything.”

“You need to fix this. If not for both of you, then do it for Jacob and Mason. We all know that Mason hates fighting. Imagine how Mason would feel about all this.” Nikki said softly.

“That’s not fair.” Tom shook his head. “You can’t just use my dead son against me.”

“I’m not using him against you. I’m just saying that he would be disappointed in both of you for fighting and for forgetting Jacob.” Nikki snapped.

“Let’s go.” You said quietly.

“What?” Tom turned to you.

“Let’s go to a marriage counselor. Tom, they’re right. We need help. I thought fighting was just in court. I don’t want to experience it at home too. We’re tired from our jobs and I think that’s the reason why we’re snapping at each other. I want us to talk about this before we do or say anything stupid.” You explained as you rubbed your temple with your left hand.

Tom looked down and nodded, “Fine. I don’t want to fight forever.”

You looked at each other and gave him a small smile as you grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. With that small gesture, Tom hoped that everything would be alright.

Today’s the day for yours and Tom’s first marriage counseling session. Both of you were extremely nervous, but you both knew it had to be done. The drive there was quiet and if you were being honest, you had to admit that being quiet was strange for you and Tom.

When you arrived, you two still hadn't spoken to each other in fear that it might lead to another fight. Both of you were asked to wait in the waiting room until your names were called and when it was, both of you nervously walked in the marriage counselor’s office.

They asked you to take a seat in front of their desk and you did as you were told. They smiled at you and said, “Mr. and Mrs. Holland, am I correct?”

“Yes.” You answered at the same time.

“Alright. Tell me about your relationship. How did it start?” They asked.

You chuckled at the memory and so did Tom. “Well, I was in a relationship when I met her and she had an attitude.” Tom said with a grin.

“That’s true.” You chuckled. “I was a new student in his school and I was just mean because I hated being new and I hated starting over. You see, my family kept moving around but this time, we stayed.”

“So anyway, when my girlfriend and I broke up, I was upset. I was 15 at the time and I thought that she was the one. Of course, I was wrong because I got to know Y/N after that. Something told me that Y/N was someone special. I just didn’t know that she was the one. Of course, I found that out years later. Heck, that’s why I proposed.” Tom admitted.

“Tom was my first boyfriend and I honestly thought we wouldn’t last because we were 16 when we started dating and that’s so young. So, I really didn’t give my all in the relationship because why would I give my all if we weren’t going to last, anyway?” You said, biting your lip.

“I just knew that now.” Tom confessed and then there was silence, but you quickly broke it.

“Of course, I changed my mind.” You said.

“What made you change your mind?” The counselor asked.

“I changed my mind when I met his family. I just felt really special that time and we were already dating for about 5 months. I felt really happy and I felt as if something good is about to happen. I was right.” You smiled as you looked at Tom. “He was the best boyfriend I could ever ask for and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.”

The counselor nodded, “Okay and what was your marriage like before?”

“Oh, it was spectacular! We got married when we were 23 years old and we traveled from to time because at that time, we weren’t super busy.” Tom answered. “Then, we had our son, Jacob, the year after that. It was quick and definitely a surprise, but we were excited to be parents. I knew that Y/N would be an excellent mother and she is. I never doubted her, not once and not ever.”

“Everyone said we were crazy for getting married so young, but why should we wait for a long time, y’know? We already know that we’re it for each other. Love is different for everyone and people failed to think about that during those times.” You answered. “A month into our marriage, I still couldn’t get over the fact that I’m his wife. It felt so surreal and I felt like I was on cloud nine. It felt so good.”

“That was before, right?” The counselor asked and both of you nodded. “What do you think changed? What happened?”

“I think it’s because we got busier at work and we had no time for each other. Then, we still had Jacob to take care of and it was just tiring. I guess that’s why we kept snapping at each other. That’s where it all began. The snapping and then it moved to the raising of voices-”

“Then the shouting and yelling, the saying things we don’t mean, and the not talking to each other for days. I honestly thought our marriage was done, but we vowed to each other that we would be there for each other through good times and in bad. Why would I give up on Y/N after a bump on the road? So, I stayed.” Tom continued.

“Does one person feel the need to win whenever you argue?”

“I don’t feel the need to win.” You said.

“I don’t feel the need to win either. I think we argue because we think we’re right and we don’t agree with things.” Tom answered.

“That’s true. We can’t even talk to each other properly without it leading to yet another heated argument. I think this is the longest conversation we have without shouting and yelling and saying things we don’t mean.” You said.

“Why are you here? What made you come here?”

“We came here because we realized that after years of fighting, we need help. After years of fighting, we finally admitted to ourselves that we need help from a professional.” You said.

“What are you hoping to learn from counseling?”

“I want to learn how to deal with our problems without yelling and getting angry about it.” Tom said.

“Okay, and you?”

“I want to learn how to learn the same thing. I can’t go on fighting anymore. We’re supposed to be teammates and we can’t do that if we’re always arguing.” You answered.

“Where would you like to see your marriage by the end of counseling?”

“A strong and healthier marriage, definitely.” You nodded. “I want that for us.”

“By the end of counseling, I want us to still be together. I want us to be better than who we are now especially for Jacob because I feel like our fights are rubbing off on him. He barely talks to us and I hate that.” Tom said and you agreed.

“Okay, thank you for that. That’s all I need for now and I’ll see you in our next session.” The counselor said.

Counseling helped greatly and it made you learn more about yourselves. You learned about your new strengths and weaknesses. Life at home slowly changed too. There were a few fights, but they weren’t as bad as before. Jacob still wouldn’t talk to both of you, though and that scared both of you.

Today was your last day of marriage counseling and the counselor said that there will be a last activity before they can conclude anything.

“I have a set of questions here that I want you both to answer, alright?” The counselor asked and both of you nodded.

Do you trust each other?

Tom: Yes, I trust her with everything in me.

You: I do.

Is there anything you feel you can’t trust each other with?

Both: No.

Have you ever felt the need to check the other person’s phone when they leave it unattended?

Tom: No.

You: Yes, but that was before we were married.

Tom looked at you and you just shrugged, “I’m just being honest.”

Have you ever done anything to lose the trust of the other person?

Tom: No, but I’m sure she had her doubts at some point.

You: No, and he’s right.

What makes you both happy?

Tom: Seeing my family happy.

You: Same answer.

When was the happiest period of time in your marriage, and what about it did you enjoy the most?

Tom: Our wedding day because I finally got to marry the girl of my dreams. I finally had my dream come true.

You: Our one year wedding anniversary because we’ve been together for 8 years in total and married for a year. It blew my mind that we lasted so long and we’re having our first born on the way.

Is there anything the other does that brings you down?

Tom: When she accuses me of not making time for our family. I try to make time, I do. It’s just that I’m always the doctor they call whenever they need something and I can’t help it. I know I promised I’d be there, but I took an oath to be there for patients too. It’s my duty to serve the public and I don’t want to abandon that and aside from being a husband and father, I dreamt about being a doctor too. It would break my heart to not do what I’m supposed to do.

You: When he would blame me for things that aren’t my fault.

Do you feel that you care about each other’s happiness?

Tom: Yes! Last year, she got me golf clubs for my birthday.

You: Yeah and he got me tickets to a concert that I want to go to.

What can you do to share each other’s happiness?

Tom: Go golfing with me.

You: Have a relaxing day together; just me and him.

Do you stress each other out?

Tom: I guess so. We wouldn’t be fighting if we don’t stress each other out.

You: True.

What do you find the most stressful?

Tom: When she doesn’t understand me.

You: When he forgets his role at home.

Do you feel you can come home to each other after a special day and feel better?

Tom: If I was asked this before, I’d say no because I always come home late and she’d be asleep. So, we couldn’t fix our problems. But now, yes.

You: I agree with him.

What do you feel are the biggest stressors in your marriage?

Tom: My job, but I can’t quit.

You: Our schedules because they always clash.

Do you feel like you can talk to each other about everything?

Both:: Yes.

Do you feel like the other listens when you speak?

Both:: Yes.

Do you make love as often as the other would like?

The question made you and Tom giggle causing the counselor to look at both of you. “I’m guessing, you do it more often now than before?”

“No comment.” Tom said, trying to hide a grin on his face.

“Alright, moving on.” The counselor chuckled.

Do you fulfill each other’s needs physically?

Tom: Definitely.

You: Absolutely.

Have you ever thought about seeing someone else?

Tom: No.

You: Never in a million years.

Have you ever seen someone else while you’ve been together?

Both:: No.

Do you still communicate with others you’ve been with intimately?

Tom: No.

You: I’ve never been with anyone else prior to Tom.

Is there anything in the past that the other has done that still bothers you?

Tom: I don’t think so; no.

You: The way he laughed with his ex at his parents’ wedding anniversary party. This is completely on my part now; it’s not his fault.

If you could change one thing about the past, what would it be?

Tom: The thing that got us into this whole mess. I would like to completely remove that.

You: Same here.

Would you say your relationship has been mostly good, mostly bad, or something in between?

Tom: Something in between.

You: Yes. No relationship is perfect.

Are there any conflicts in the past that you feel have not been resolved?

Both:: No.

What are some fond memories you have about the past?

Tom: When we first started dating, blissfully unaware of what our future will hold.

You: When we still had Mason.

Tom looked at you with a sad smile and grabbed your hand.

Do you want to remain married?

Both: Yes.

Where would you like to see each other a year from now?

Tom: Hopefully having a daughter.

You: True. I would like that.

What about five years from now?

Tom: New and improved.

You: Better at handling our stress.

What is one thing you’ve always loved about the other?

Tom: She’s caring and loving.

You: His passion for the things he loves.

If you could take a vacation, just the two of you, where would you go?

Both: To where we had our honeymoon.

What is something the other does that makes you smile?

Tom: When I see her with Jacob

You: When I see him being in his natural element.

What is your most cherished memory of the two of you?

Tom: When we first bought our house.

You: When we officially became parents.

What is something about your marriage that you wouldn’t change for anything?

Tom: Everything despite the fighting and crying.

You: Same here.

“This is now your last day for marriage counseling. On our first meeting, I asked you where you see yourselves at the end of marriage counseling. Did it happen?” The counselor asked as they looked at the two of you seriously.

You thought about it for a while before looking at each other.

"I think so." You answered. "I'm not really sure."

Tom nodded, "Yes, I'm not sure too."

* * * *

lmao cliffhanger bc there'll be two endings

this took me DAYS to write and i hope you guys enjoyed it! feedback would be lovely x

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐓𝐎𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @cocoamoonmalfoy @thatforgottenangel @parkerpeter24 @turtoix @slutforsr @givebuckyhisplumsnow @buckys-little-hoe @runawayolives @chewymoustachio @hollandsrecs @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @yourstrulyamour @juliediggory @lharrietg @alexx-stancati @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @spideyspeaches @thevelvetseries @buckymylove @quxxnxfhxll @marvelsimps @dreamy-clousds @bora-world @hunnybunimdun @supred12

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow

#tom holland #tom holland one shots #tom holland imagines #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland angst #in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

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lucycola · 3 years

Text

The Lone Survivor: Part 2

Spock x Fem!Reader

Premise: Fem!Reader accidentally bonds with Spock when rescued from her own starship crash. The Golden Trio realize the footage from the wreck could wrongfully incriminate the reader. They attempt to find a way out of this. PART ONE HERE

SLOW BURN. Eventual smut in later parts. More Bones dialogue than probably necessary but WHATEVER. Fatherly Bones. There will be more one on one Reader and Spock in part three. Right now it plays like a normal episode with build up because I’m stubborn.

WARNINGS: Movie amnesia, sexual themes if you squint, mentions of death, and implied one-sided matrimony.

Part 2: The Night We Met I Knew I Needed You So

There was no mistaking the final moments illustrated in the found footage from the Calvary. It was you assaulting the crew on the bridge-you setting a course straight to destruction on Toravalve 9.

However, Mister Spock had disagreed. He had reached into your mind and saw you in your own eyes. It couldn’t have been you.

After carrying you back to the medbay you were put safely back in your bed with a Doctor McCoy who hovered over you like a disgruntled mother bear. With the tricorder at your forehead you pleaded with him to relax.

Captain Kirk had been summoned to hear what you both, or rather, Mister Spock had to say. For some stranger reason Spock omitted the existence of the orange tape. He deliberated his own findings via meld instead.

“A copy of sorts, Captain.”

“And you’re sure you saw the Lieutenant looking...at her own self?”

“As unlikely as it may seem, it is was I saw. Although it was also demonstrated that the Lieutenant received a severe head injury before witnessing her own self attack the crew members.”

“And you’re sure it wasn’t some kind of...” Kirk deliberated for a moment, “... out of body experience.”

“Also unlikely. Although it is perceivable Lieutenant L/N maybe have suffered delusions after cranial trauma I possess a suspicion that an illusion was made unto the Lieutenant and the crew.”

Kirk glanced at you for a moment and back to Spock, quizzically at first, but then with a dashing smirk. “A hunch, Spock? How very...human.”

Spock quirked a brow, hands still stonily behind his back, “All endeavors begin with a hypothesis.”

“You believe me,” you murmured, from your bed still although no longer in your white, medbay gown you were graciously presented with black Starfleet fatigues. Nurse Chapel had gently maneuvered your unruly waves into two pleats that were coming undone slowly.

A stark contrast to the pristine, polished head science officer.

The fingers on Spock’s right hand flexed at the sound of your voice.

He only turned his head to look at you, “Empirical data is what needs to be obtained-whether I believe what memories are buried in your subconscious is incidental.”

“They still don’t feel real,” you admitted. Not even your name felt real.

“Such an admission will not help your case and I advise you keep that opinion to yourself, Lieutenant.”

You felt like he was chiding you. Your ground your jaw slightly and you knew he could feel it: the aggravation, the impatience. Fear.

His right fingers flexed again, but his expression, unchanging as ever, gave nothing away.

The electric pool of warmth in the back of your mind hushed you, told you to remain calm. Diplomatic.

How could looking at your own self feel real? ‘She’ seemed so real. You had walked around the corner and met yourself, squaring you up instantly. She lunged for you and you wrestled with her, shocked at the fact that you had your own hands around your throat. They weren’t your hands. It was an imposter.

How? That was the real question.

“How do we find proof then, Mister Spock?” Kirk asked, reinserting himself.

“We locate the imposter and confirm my hypothesis.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Kirk replied.

“Indeed it will not be so. Commander Craft is aware of the meld that took place and will order me to testify my findings against the lieutenant. Until the Lieutenant’s sanity can be declared-”

“I’m sure I can help with that,” the doctor said, almost appearing out of nowhere.

“What is left is concrete evidence,” Spock added.

“The imposter,” Kirk finished, nodding.

“Who’s Commander Craft?” you asked.

He turned to look at you. You were made to feel the oblivious child with everyone in the room talking about you. However, you listened and you absorbed. You were careful with your input. Listen first, talk later, you thought to yourself. The presence in the back of your mind hummed in monotonic approval as if to say, good girl.

You wondered what those words tasted like on Spock’s lips. You shuddered in embarrassment and turned your head away.

Spock coughed uncharacteristically, “Commander Craft is the elected official heading the investigation crew from the Federation. We were contacted yesterday and were to present a full report of our findings and happenings.”

Which included the bond. That detail in itself was still above you, not fully explained nor understood. You could feel it for what it was and knew he was there. Not why or how, however.

“We must garner more time,” Spock continued to his captain, “And possibly keep myself from testifying.”

“We could declare you insane,” the doctor quipped earning another brow arch from his opposing.

“You’re asking for a loophole,” Kirk stated.

“Essentially, Captain.”

Kirk seemed to know there was more to it, the way he pursed his lips and put his fists on his hips. You knew yourself that if Spock testified against you with what he saw in the meld then there was no evidence against you truly-just what you yourself witnessed. However, Spock would be asked to tell the whole truth and that included the tape. If you were deemed crazy then your own experiences would be null and void.

Did Kirk already know about the tape?

Kirk sighed,” Spock, I...we’d be misleading not only Starfleet, but the Federation. This isn’t the first time you’ve-” he glanced at you, “-taken the unorthodox route to obtain justice.”

“Then I am asking for your trust, Captain.”

Kirk’s eyes narrowed then softened. He relented and with a sturdy tone which meant business as he relayed, “I suppose you already a loophole in mind then?”

“Indeed, Captain.”

“I would expect nothing less.”

Spock paused, fighting to look at you.

“Well, aren’t you gonna tell us?” the doctor asked.

“Proposals are not so elementary to make on Vulcan, even when it is logical...but also yet not as it could fare unfavorable circumstances. Especially if one party is unwilling.”

It took Kirk a moment, and even the doctor even longer.

“You mean...?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“You’re willing to marry her so you don’t have to testify?” he asked incredulously.

You were stupefied, impressed, but stupefied. The stoic Vulcan could play dirty. An actual proposal.

“You’re going to marry her?” Bones asked, mortified, “She’s a person...not a pawn! This is her life we’re meddling with. Marriage is a serious thing-”

“You’ll find, Doctor, that I am quite serious.”

“You could wreck her life.”

“I intend on saving it.”

Spock, your heart breathed.

“It seems like a reach for you, Spock,” Kirk said, “They would never believe the both of you, even if Y/N did agree.”

“It will be most believable as the Lieutenant and I have already made a bond.”

Silence befell everyone.

“You can’t be serious,” the doctor said finally, a fierce protectiveness in his voice. “At a time like this-”

“It was not intended as I am careful to shield my mind when partaking tactility with other forms-but, she called to me.”

And he had found you in the dark.

“She accepted it-although it is possible that may be due to the extreme duress she was suffering.”

“And you were there to save her,” Bones finished, a grave distaste in his voice.

“Such a bond can be mediated by a healer with moderate difficult just as a Terran divorce can be secured.”

It was a slap to the face. He was as willing to ‘save’ you as he was to dump you and leave you for dead. Red hot turmoil threatened in your core and you clenched your blankets. What was the point then?

Your crew was dead, your reputation tarnished, and everyone thought you were a murderer.

Let me die, you thought, just let me die.

“Certainly not,” Spock said quietly. Both the Captain and the Doctor eyed him wearily as this random statement.

“So you...negating your-”

“No, sir. I am simply waiting for Lieutenant L/N’s input on the matter.”

“There’s no way in hell she’d agree to this. The bond is clearly one-sided, Spock. How could you be so irresponsible?” Bones chided.

“A explanation escapes me.” He was still looking at you with smoldering eyes, with bright stars dancing behind them. Cold, but fierce.

What other shot did you have? How else could you bide time while searching for this monster? You wanted to give up. It would be easy.

Kirk leaned in to his second in command and suggested softly, “Perhaps you should ask more properly, Mister Spock. She is a lady. Bones is right. It’s her life.”

“Lieutenant-”

Kirk elbowed him.

“Y/N,” he corrected himself, “Will-”

“Yes,” you blurted in a hushed voice, “I will marry you, Mister Spock.”

You were left in your bed again under strict supervision this time. You reveled in the shock of what you’d just agreed to, and even the shock of the situation in its entirety. Rediscovering the monster that claimed your crew and your identity was still fresh and seeing it through your own eyes again with the meld drained the life out of you. You were exhausted, but your mind still raced. ‘It’ was on the ship-it had to be. They didn’t find a copy of you or anyone else in the wreckage. You wondered how recognizable some of your crewmates were and you had to still your frantic thoughts.

“What ever is going on up there it needs to stop. You heart rate is very high.” Doctor McCoy was already readying a hypo.

“That...thing. It might be here-”

“We’re on high alert, looking for any copies of ourselves. It’s not the first time this kind of thing has happened,” he tried to assure you.

“There are no red lights.”

“They get annoying after awhile. Whatever it is, it’s damn good at hiding. But we’ll flush it out. The Captain has a plan.”

“Did Mister Spock tell you the imposter can read your memories? That’s how it tricked me. Did he tell the captain?” you asked, wring your hands with the blanket.

“Your guess is better than mine.”

You thought back to Spock’s omission to the orange tape. Always flipping back and forth between elusive affection and monotonous professionalism. Marry me. Divorce after.

“He’s hard to place sometimes.”

“And you agreed to marry him.”

“I did,” you blurted stubbornly. “We’re bonded.”

Bones suddenly became eye level with you, bracing both hands on the rail. “But do you know what that even means?”

You arched a brown similar to Vulcan fashion, “Do you, good doctor?”

Bones shook his head and instead asked, “Sleep now or later? Does it help with the nightmares?”

“Yes, I think so. Now, I think. Doctor?”

“Yes, kitty?”

“Thankyou.”

Sleep was apart of the healing process and being roused from it interrupted that. That was at least what Bones tried to argue when the captain requested your presence in the conference room. Flanked by your fiancé and the kindly captain himself you were expected to hold an interview of sorts with Commander Craft via telecom before his arrival at the crash site. Several ships had already come to help clean up.

“What am I supposed to say?” you half pleaded with them, “I’m not good at lying.”

“You do not have to be deceitful. However, if you find yourself under duress the commander may suspect a guilt as I had sensed upon our initial meeting,” Spock replied, one arm linked on your good side.

Your other arm supported a crutch when had a nervous hand floating behind it via the captain.

Kirk shot a reassuring look your way. “I recommend the truth. Tell him what you told me, and you’ll be fine. He’s a bit of a stickler for rules and he’s tough on the stand-”

“Jesus,” you muttered.

“Or...a bit of theatrics couldn’t hurt if you get too overwhelmed. You did just lose your crew.”

“How could I forget?” Your lip quivered.

You three paused at the door.

“I trust my first officer, Y/N,” Kirk turned to face you, “As unorthodox as this has become, I put trust into his melds and by what he has told me you didn’t do anything wrong. That thing-that monster did.”

You couldn’t stop the tears dribbling. “Captain, I let my crew die.”

“Any death having occurred was unintentional on your part, Lieutenant, ”Spock said in his chilly tone, “As was demonstrated in your memory you tired to apprehend and fend off the creature, but to no avail. You did everything in your power. The human emotional phenomena your are experiencing is common upon singular entities having being spared from genocide.”

“That is?” Kirk asked.

“Survivor’s guilt,” you sighed, finishing the statement for you fiancé.

Commander Craft was not unkind, nor did he smile. He was neither young or old and his questions were fairly basic as the captain’s were three days earlier. You recounted all you could remember, and it was stressed by you and the captain that you had lost most of your general memory due to head trauma. Whether he seemed convinced was unknown to you. You tried to hold back in your distress. The warmth in the back of your mind wrapped around the little knot that pain and anxiety was birthed. It was squeezed it slowly, like the grasp of a hand. You delivered your answers calmly.

“The double of yourself, you saw. Did you see it transform from your father to yourself?” the commander asked.

“No sir.”

“Have you seen a copy of yourself since you boarded the Enterprise?”

“No sir.”

“And no foreign entity has been detected on the ship?”

“No sir,” the captain replied.

“Mmm,” the commander paused for the first time in what seemed like hours. “L/N, had you ever experiences delusions or hallucinations before?”

“I don’t remember.”

“And did you experience the trauma to your head before or after you saw yourself sabotaging the ship?”

“I...” you glanced, “I’m not sure. After?”

“Do you remember hitting your head at all?”

“I remember the copy throwing me hard against the wall and everything going black.” You tried to strengthen your voice, but it kept cracking. You heart continued to race. “And-”

It flashed.

“When I let my father on the ship. I went black there too. But I’m not sure if I hit my head that time.”

“And Mister Spock you were able to witness what Lieutenant L/N saw?”

“Affirmative.”

“But...through her point of view.”

Fuck. You had a feeling he would try to pull the crazy card.

“Were there any observation tapes recovered from the crash?”

“My crew obtained few, but to my knowledge they are still processing them,” the captain answered smoothly.

“Has any other information been made available to any of you?”

You could feel the edges of your vision blacken. You couldn’t make eye contact with him. Cold sweat had broken from your brow. A cold, steady hand placed itself to your brow. The natural warmth on your mind shimmered.

“She has a fever, Captain.”

“I won’t tolerate any nonsense, Lieutenant-”

“Commander, she has just lost four-hundred members of her family to a people-eating imposter!” Kirk bellowed lowly, “She’s kept it together well so far. I commend her efforts. You have the wrong idea about her.”

“Until I can find proof of this ‘imposter’ and until her psyche can be cleared by one of our doctors then we’ll see. This isn’t the first time the Federation has had to deal with the Enterprise’s shenanigans.��

“People eating?” you whispered in disbelief. Oh my god.

Spock caught on to Kirk’s unnecessary honesty. “It was discovered the imposter’s prime directive was to use the Calvary’s crew as sustenance.”

You toppled forwards and were caught and cradled by your fiancé.

“Take her to the medbay, Mister Spock,” Kirk ordered.

“Call for the doctor. I am not taking my eyes off her until we arrive!” the commander snapped.

“By the time Doctor McCoy arrives she will succumb to shock. I must attend to my t’hy’la in the most logical and efficient manner possible.”

Kirk fought the need to smile, not realizing that your theatrics weren’t really theatrics.

PART THREE

#spock #mister spock #mr spock #startrek #tos #star trek #spock x reader #spock x fem!reader #doctor mccoy #bones #jim kirk #captain kirk #kirk #oc #reader #slow burn #song lyrics of chapter is Be My Baby by The Ronettes

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thebadboyfanclub · 4 years

Text

Off To Bed For You (Carlisle x Reader)

This was requested by an anon. I hope this is what you had in your head. Enjoy!

Carlisle loved his job, he was very happy that he could give back to his community and be in tune with his humanity, he has seen the outcome of a lot of vampires that were controlled by their hunger and he never wanted to be like that, he was in control of his hunger.

He was also aware that his job didn’t have a particular schedule, he had to go through midnight shifts and back to back surgeries, he didn’t mind it however he knew it could bring problems to his personal life.

He met (y/n) at the hospital, she was brought in after she was involved in a car accident, a broken leg, a few scratches all over her body and some stitches on her forehead. What he was drawn into was her eyes, he was a firm believer on the saying “eyes are the windows of her soul” and her eyes were like two diamonds sparkling with happiness.

She never complained about anything, she joked with the nurses and the doctors, smiled and talked to almost everyone and could start a relationship about anything, she was also caught doing things she was not supposed to be doing, like putting her whole weight on her crutches and swung her legs back and forth like she was on a swing, which could have ended very badly. Still Carlisle adored her colorful personality, he wondered if she even had a bad bone in her body.

He asked her out the day she was checking out of the hospital, the rest is history. He found out she was married and divorced to her high school sweetheart,a registered midwife that chose that career to make up for the fact she couldn’t have kids of her own, her favorite color was sunset orange and her dream vacation was the Philippines.

Another late shift was over and Carlisle was beaming, one reason was that another successful day of saving lives and easing other peoples pain came to an end, but a night filled with (y/n)’s warm embrace was starting. He figured she would already be asleep since he clocked off at 2 am, but when he heard her little humming and emmett rambling about fairies could be real, he smiled.

“What do we have here?”

“Carlisle, didn’t we see a fairy once?”

Emmett said, trying to prove his ludacris point. Carlisle chuckled as he took off his jacket and placed it on the arm of the couch. (Y/n) was laying on the other couch and Emmett sat next to her, a bit annoyed that someone interrupted his train of thought. (y/n) on the other hand gave him a sleepy smile, her eyes barely open and has probably logged off from emmetts conversation hours ago.

“How was work?”

“I could have told you tomorrow”

“You wait for me when I have shifts”

“I don’t need sleep, so young lady it’s off to bed for you”

He didn’t care if she protested- she wasn’t planning to- he just scooped her up and carried her to their shared bed room. She smiled again and nuzzled her face in his neck, the smell of her favorite cologne engulfing her senses and sending her to a state of nirvana.

“You have to stop waiting for me”

“say whatever you want but I know you like it when i’m awake”

“I’m sure your body does not like that concept thought, am I right sweetheart”

She mumbled, already on her journey of going to dreamland.It was true, he loved to see those sparkly eyes and the big smile when he came home, made him feel all warm and cozy. He laid her in their bed and gave her a kiss on her forehead before going to the bathroom to change into something a little more comfortable.

“I hope Emmett did not bother you too much in his attempt to find an ally for his non stop imagination”

When he came back (y/n) was already fast asleep, a smile still on her lips and hugging on of the pillows from the bed. He approached the sleeping beauty and helped her get under the covers, then he laid next to her, a book in his hand and just stayed next to her, like her guarding angel protecting his vulnerable sleeping princess.

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blooddrop-palace · 3 years

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DMC-OC-Week Day 3

(Yep, more Picrew. This time I have something for Tony and Caesar, though! Since I live in AU hell, this means just about everything I work with already has AU stuff going on… so let’s see what are the interesting things I can share. All links lead to my Ao3 stories.)

Day 3 - Alternate Universe | Past/Future

Seraphina Valkyrie

Her Past - In terms of her past, she was a Holy Knight, but is parallel to Nero in the sense that she is really good at what she does but most of society doesn’t like her. But to be more specific, it’s not that the whole city dislikes her. Many young women admired her because lady knights are rare, and she’s very strong. But her biological grandfather is an influential old coot from a prominent family of knights who had disowned Sera’s mother since before Sera even existed.

The reason her mother was disowned? Because she married an amnesiac outsider.

Outsiders come to the island once in a while and become indoctrinated into the Order religion, so whatever beef the old man had with the poor man was purely a personal bias. But he made their life a little difficult in trying to demean their social status, but his disowned daughter’s ability as a doctor made good enough positive connections with people that they remained a happy family, until they died to demons.

And the head of the proper Valkyrie family did not want to take the orphaned Sera in. (Disownership has more to do with finances, responsibilities, and will, and less to do with the name.)

Because Sera adopted a more brazen attitude and doesn’t work very well with most people (once rejected, forever untrusting,) she doesn’t make herself very well-liked to the people more easily swayed by rumors, and a few of the knights who tried to court her were frankly scared of her devil arms that were literally grafted into her arms.

So, when she met Vergil, who is not only stronger than her but also appreciates her “claws,” she allowed herself to not only be impressed, but also be utterly infatuated.

AUs - if “canon” is that Sera either died to a demon attack after Nero’s birth, or ended up in Hell when she was trying to protect Nero, then there are plenty of AUs that I have for her. What if she fell into Hell and found Vergil when he fell off the tower, and saved him from Mundus? What if she fell into Hell, found Vergil, but then they both lost and got captured by Mundus? What if Eva survived and brought Vergil and Dante to Fortuna, and she got to know the twins from childhood? Oh, and what if she met Dante instead of Vergil? (This goes two ways: one where Nero has red and gold for his colors. Another is that Sera has Noel instead of Nero.)

Kassandra King

Her Past - Kassandra’s past seems complicated, but it’s fairly simple. She’s part of a part-devil bloodline, where her patron/ancestor is tasked by Sparda to maintain (and thus be sealed with) a Hell Gate on an island in the Eastern part of the world. The bloodline is maintained for several reasons:

The devil that is chained to the gate comes from a hive structure, and any queen or king of a hive needs workers. But the children are also family to him. These part-devil progeny are tasked with protecting not only the vicinity of the gate, but also to hunt down demons and devils that harass the nearby human populations. The prey brought back helps the gatekeeper maintain his strength, and the family structure helps keep the gatekeeper sane, as he is actually quite fond of family.

Other demonic blood had come to be mixed with the bloodline over time, and ultimately, all of the children of the family undergo a pact with the gatekeeper in order to receive enough power to become a full-fledged devil-blooded devil hunter. The physical feature of this pact would be purple eyes, though there are some children who are born with the color naturally.

And the bloodline is generally continued by the females of the family going out to beguile human men into one-night-stands. But in modern day, it’s becoming harder to find not only traits from the general populace that would be desirable for a family of warriors, but it’s also not as easy to come and go without a trace.

And Kassy desperately wants to have a proper mate, not just someone she’ll love and leave for a night.

Meeting Dante for that one night… ruined her.

AUs - My favorite AU for her is one where she actually reaches out to Dante to tell him she’s pregnant, and they make a happy family despite the hurdles of devil hunting getting in the way.

Arabella, the Crimson Queen

Her Past - The Crimson Queen’s past is simple. This large feathered-serpent devil was a very territorial devil who lived in Hell, and was notorious for keeping to herself. Even Mundus and Argosax didn’t think it was worth it to bother her, since she didn’t bother anyone else... up until one day she got caught up in the upset of the demon world and found herself in the human world by accident, and decided Sparda’s cause was the better cause. While she did not explicitly assist him in his quest, she was once a candidate to be sealed into the Temen-ni-Gru… but Sparda saw it better to seal away problematic devils into it, and let her loose. (While also turning down her proposal to be a mate.)

He eventually found her again when he was establishing Fortuna, and took her in to teach her how to live among humans. For the while where he was a Lord of the island, she worked as his head maid. After he left, she spent the next several centuries learning to appreciate the simple joys of humanity, and lived in camouflage among humans…

Until one day, Vergil arrived. And that, well, is a different story from her past.

AUs - I would LOVE to write a mermaid-inspired AU where Arabella is this great underwater serpent, and she saves Vergil from drowning by turning him into Mer. Little did she know, Vergil’s father was also a sea serpent, and so she had activated Vergil’s dormant aquatic blood. He woke up with amnesia, however, so she kept him around. For the next few years that he lives underwater with her, Dante, up above, is anguished about being the one to wash ashore alive after he and his brother’s seafaring trip went wrong, and spends the next few years searching the seas and shores in vain…

Until one day, a fishing boat nets up a young mer-child with white hair, then a large red sea serpent starts terrorizing boats the cross the ocean, and Dante finds a merman washed ashore who looks exactly like Vergil… and he finally learns the truth from his parents about what Sparda is, all while needing to save Nero.

Snow King

Her Past - Snow’s past in “canon” is fairly simple. Her mother being Kassandra, she grew up with her mother, her uncles and aunt, and her cousins, along with their ancestral patron devil. Snow was never given the right to form a pact, however, so her eyes remain blue. When their patron recognized the scent on Kassy being closely related to Sparda, it was decided that the resulting child should not become another servant of the Hive, because she could be so much more than that on her own.

And more than that, Snow’s blood ties make her somewhat of a… dangerous asset. With the blood of Sparda and Aegis (the gatekeeper) flowing in her, she alone can be used to unseal the gate. When she found this out, she immediately singled out herself as a weak link… but her family refused to let her leave “for the better of the family.” This alone shaped a lot of her attitude towards her eventual meeting with her estranged father, uncle, and cousin.

AUs - other than an AU where she gets to have daddy dearest in her life alone with two rambunctious younger brothers, I’ve had a thought of what if Vergil was found by Kassy’s family when he was a child, and Dante ended up in Fortuna at one point before Kassy’s family found him, too. So, if Snow’s parents are Kassy and Vergil instead…? And Nero is Dante and Sera’s kid. Yes, I know… sounds crazy. But fun. (I just wanted to write an emotional love confession where Kassy screams at Vergil to come home from the tower haha.)

Noel

Her Past/Future - Noel, as the daughter Dante didn't know about on Fortuna in a “Vergil and Dante switched positions AU”, grew up with similar circumstances as Nero, but some sexism gets in the way. She’s expected to be more better behaved, so her plucky and disobedient personality gives her more trouble than it would for a boy. She was always being compared to Kyrie, but at the same time she looks up to Kyrie, because Kyrie believes Noel is a good girl even if she’s not like her.

Noel was basically best friends with Kyrie, but wasn’t all that close to Credo until after Credo’s and Kyrie’s parents died. (To Credo, she was just his little sister’s best friend that his family was taking care of, and being seven years older than Noel, he didn’t see a need to become close.) After that, Credo was not only moved (and concerned) by Noel’s bitterness of not having been able to help, he also wasn’t about to turn her to the streets or back to the orphanage, so he taught her to fight.

Most everything is the same as Nero’s life, except instead of a necklace as a gift for Kyrie, Noel got her a knife. Because “even the sweetest of girls should have something for self defense.”

Unfortunately, they would lose Kyrie to Sanctus’ plans. Though Credo took less time to debate on who he should believe, Sanctus changes his mind about who to use for the Saviour’s core when he sees how devoted Credo was to family, and takes him instead of Kyrie. When he also decides to take Noel since Vergil was proving too difficult to trap, Kyrie tries to break free with the knife Noel gave her, and so Sanctus kills her.

Noel would see this as her failure for the years to come, and afterwards tried to leave Fortuna, despite Credo’s pleas to stay. Vergil ends up being the one to convince Noel that she shouldn’t leave the people who care about her like that, though he did give Noel time to figure out things at Devil May Cry, before sending her home with a pink neon sign. It would be a handful of years later, in her mid-twenties, before she and Credo finally address the changing nature of their relationship.

Anthony and Caesar

Past/Future - There isn’t too much to say about the twins’ past. That they exist means the course the story has taken is a generally happier one, because Dante and Kassy would not risk for more children if life wasn’t stable.

That said, Tony and Caesar are in two different storylines:

One where Eva survived and took Vergil and Dante to Fortuna, so eventually, Tony and Caesar would grow up in Fortuna, too. There will be adventure, however. Some precarious adventure.

Another is simply a “canon events still happened mostly”, and the most interesting thing to happen would be their interactions with Vergil post DMC5.

Now, a little part of me does want a bit of mundane drama. Like, maybe a whole Patty-shaped drama, since these two are just about a year older than her. And maybe, just maybe, there’s a girl named Katherine involved, and there’s a whole lot of confusion on how anyone is supposed to handle this problem. (Tony: And this is why I skipped prom!!)

#devil may cry #dmcocweek #oc #original characters

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juminsqrincess · 3 years

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RFA + saeran’s petnames headcannons

GENDER NEUTRAL

something small to start the blog off hehe~ here are the RFA’s and saeran’s (minus v because i literally haven’t played his route or looked at him HJGHGJ sorry-) favourite pet names to call you: (minor spoilers for saeran)

yoosung:

not gonna lie, poor baby yoosung is probably the one *being* called the pet names most of the time; but after a while he does start to get more comfortable and less anxious and flusterable (is that word? LMAO) when giving affection to the MC. he starts off very slowly, calling you the pet names when you’re both sleepy, or when you’re focused on a game with him, so you don’t notice it too much (though his face still reddens in anticipation to your reaction) and then pet names become a more natural thing for him, and just start slipping out- especially if you give him a positive reaction because he just wants to see you happy!

pet names include: - honey (delivered with a cheesy grin, he thinks he’s all smooth and classy) - bubby (literally just baby but with extra yoosung sweetness added - it started out as something he used in his sleepy voice and then you picked up a liking to it- it still kind of embarrasses him) - birdie (likes the concept of you being all small and fluffy- *is small and fluffy*- yoosung’s version of the classic pet name ‘dove’) - snuggles (definitely WAS NOT the name of his old teddy bear that he MAYBE still keeps as a SECRET to cuddle when he misses you-) - his little pogchamp

zen:

pet name GOD - shamelessly started using pet names as SOON as you two hit it off, this man is a pet name machine he has TRICKS UP HIS SLEEVE. bro. he uses as many pet names as he can to figure out your weak spots and then TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THIS KNOWLEDGE. it boosts his ego to see you flustered because of him of course - though he wants you to feel special too! he has a few favourites listed here with special meaning~

pet name include: - babe/jagi/jagiya (duh bro?? its like canon or sum) - beautiful/handsome/gorgeous - whatever suits you most~ (NEED I SAY MORE? SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS HIM WILL ONLY BE WITH SOMEONE EQUALLY AS GOOD-LOOKING?? he also give constant compliments be warned) - cutie (wholesome zen moment) - good-lookin’ (said as he casually pulls you in by the waist to kiss your forehead, wow zen you’re so smoo0th) - sexy (IT’S THE BEAST BRO)

jaehee:

unfortunately none of us have really seen jaehee’s more lovey-dovey side in the game - she probably prefers calling you by your name the most, and she speaks it almost like it’s a praise, but the odd time she calls you pet names just as a way to appreciate you, or to remind you that she cherishes you. does it very casually and naturally, she’s quite a steady-paced girl so she needn’t force pet names to come, they just do whenever the moment calls for it really.

pet names incluude: - love - darling (you are dear to herr!! she’s so busy all the time - moments with you are cherished and precious - you’re like a pocket of hope and sunshine in such a grey world full of deadlines and schedules... someone she can truly relax with!) - beloved - dear(est) - sweetheart (BCS. YOU. ARE. SO SWEET! you’re always looking out for her and being so patient with her as she works - you have a heart of gold, and she admires how kind you are to the RFA members - she’s truly lucky to have won a place in your heart <3)

jumin:

this man. this man is so nonchalantly smooth. he doesn’t even know it - or maybe he does - you can’t tell because he’ll just slip in a pet name mid-convo and make you mELT. when he gets soft... pet names are maybe one of his favourite things to tell you, because he gets to show you his more vulnerable and affectionate sides. he uses pet names as a way to spoil you - and spoil you he does because HIS VOICE *IS HEAVEN*, and the light kisses and touches he places on you as he speaks to you so fondly are a BIIG BONUSS. it takes him a while to start using more ‘personalized’ pet names - he sticks to the generic ones at first, they’re classy and simple - but after a while he conjures up newer ones out of his sheer emotion for you - only to be used in private though.

pet names include: - the usual at first, dear, beloved, honey, love - AND THEN BOOM: precious (you are the most precious thing in his life HANDS DOWN. gets so sentimental when he uses it aswell - will whisper it to you before bed or when he’s trying to comfort you - nothing in this world compares to how much you mean to him) - kitten (yeah you thought i would stop myself - no.) - mr/mrs/mx* han (after you get married he does this a lot in public - maybe to show off a little bit and see everyone’s surprised faces as he follows it with ‘dear’ or something - he isn’t big into PDA but he has his smug sneaky ways of letting you know that he is thankful to have you) - HIS prince/princess/your majesty/highness: (DUUUDE... he wants the BEST for you - you’ve finally shown him what the wonderful feelings of love do! you hold that power over him at least! ...will kiss your hand when he uses this)

saeyoung:

saeyoung has... stranger more unique ways to show you affection, and the pet names he uses do not escape his whacky tendencies - uses pet names as a way to put a smile on your face and to make you laugh, to see that cute bright smile on your face! of course though, saeyoung has a (small) share of pet names that are more sensical and have some sort of more obvious meaning behind them. he starts off using dumb pet names, then as he gets emotionally attached stops, then he accepts he loves you and starts using really cheesey pet names, theenn he regains some of his happiness with you and becomes more jokey again (WHEW!).

pet names include: (besides the normal boooring ones /j) - his star (you guided him to his happiness... you shone for him brightly when he had no shine himself - you cheered him up with your beauty and warmth - and you guys did kick ass stuff in his good end like it was a MOVIE or something – also spaaace??) - weird food names - starts off as honey and sweetie pie - gets weird fast... will call you his chip and his nurse pepper ( doctor is reserved for the drink - otherwise it gets confusing) - LOWKEY MAKES FUN OF YOU... if you’re short he’ll call you shortie - if you’re tall he calls you tallie (haha funny.) if you’re blonde he calls you blondie, and if you have freckles or dimples OR GLASSES - consider it your new name. also starts calling you after the things you wear - if you wear chains, he calls you chains, if you wear dramatic makeup, he starts calling you a diva - will call you noob i’m sorry - sweet cheeks (SEVEN WHICH CHEEKS-) - boople snoot (yes.) - his galaxy (the seven alternative to my world)

saeran:

okay so - it’s assumed that saeran is actually a DID system but i’m writing for good end saeran because um - lets be honest the alters were not the most healthy and probably wouldn’t have been doing any pet name calling (ray being too insecure, black suit saeran and unknown... being black suit saeran and unknown? it would have been sarcastic and mean)

after all of the hardships you guys had gone through... saeran was TERRIFIED that you would leave because why on earth would you want to stick by with him i mean?? all he had known his whole life is literally mistreatment he thought you were too good to be true. but you stuck by and you gave him what he had needed for so long - you always made him feel safe and he finally belonged somewhere, felt like the world wasn’t ALWAYS out for him, he could breathe easier now. very reluctant at first - messing up with you especially gave him paralyzing fear. but then you showed him such loyalty, he looked at you and saw that yes you made mistakes, that you were human, and you reminded him that it was okay to be human too. so slowly he trusted that you would accept him being affectionate back - he wanted to appreciate you like you appreciated him - despite all of the flaws he saw in himself constantly. (WHOO I LOVE SAERAN SO MUCH OMG CAN YOU TELL??)

pet names include: - angel (do i need to explain this?? you’ve saved his life - his future, everything. he sees you with a halo around your head constantly, even at your darkest moments, because he’s been there before too!) - flower (at first glance may seem like a cute thing because ray liked gardening - which sure part of it is that - but moreover he talks about your beauty when he uses this pet name, about how happy you make him, he sees you as someone delicate and gentle yet at the same time someone bold and bright - someone that the world NEEDS) - sunshine (you brighten his day, his month, his year, his life - aaand well a garden does need sunshine doesn’t it? you keep him going when he feels like giving up) - love and dear (too classic not to be included with a man that wore fancy suits JHGH) - sweetheart/sweetie/honey (along with his big sweet tooth - he thinks you’re the sweetest person he’s ever met) - sugarplum (pls let me have this)

*mx is like m(r)s and mr but for non-binary folks :)

#imsorryvlovers #imtryingokay #mysticmessenger #mysmes #mysticmessengerheadcannons #mysticmessengerheacanons #mysticmessengerhcs #mysmeshc #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcannons #mystic messenger 707 #mystic messenger seven #mystic messenger zen #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger saeran #mystic messenger ray

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Midnight Mass Ending Explained

https://ift.tt/39I2zkp

This article contains spoilers for Midnight Mass.

Ending a horror story is hard.

Perhaps no one knows that better than Mike Flanagan, the writer-director behind horror hits like Doctor Sleep, The Haunting of Hill House, and The Haunting of Bly Manor. After observing the occasional less-than-enthusiastic reaction to the endings of some of his other projects, Flanagan decided to end his latest, Netflix series Midnight Mass, on his own terms.

“I didn’t want to come up with an ending that I thought would please people,” Flanagan told Den of Geek and other outlets prior to Midnight Mass’s premiere. “I wanted to come up with the ending that would have the most to say down the line.”

So what, exactly, does the ending of Midnight Mass have to say? Let’s explain just what goes down in the conclusion of Midnight Mass and assess what it all means.

What’s Up with Mildred Gunning and John Pruitt?

Monsignor John Pruitt a.k.a. Father Paul (Hamish Linklater) was, by all indications, a good Christian man.

“The thing we kept coming back to is that authentically, through-and-through evil people are very rare. We’re all way more complicated. The humanity of Father Paul was something that was baked in relatively early,” Flanagan says.

Though Pruitt is not a bad man, per se, he is a deeply flawed one. A long time ago, before the “war” (probably World War II or The Korean War), Pruitt hooked up with the married Mildred Gunning and fathered their daughter Sarah Gunning out of wedlock. That is obviously a big no-no for a priest and Pruitt lived with the guilt of denying his daughter for decades.

Pruitt finally got a chance to alleviate that guilt when he came across a curious creature in Damascus. In this fictional universe where the concept of a vampire is clearly not well known, John Pruitt made the understandable mistake of confusing a monstrous vampire for an equally monstrous angel. After all, the angels of the bible are so visually terrifying that they make a habit of telling those they visit “be not afraid.”

Pruitt thought this angel had granted him the gift of eternal life, just like the Bible promises. He then decides to share that gift with his congregation. The priest’s major sin here though is pride. He didn’t share the angel’s gift with his congregation out of pure benevolence. He did it because he wanted many more years of life in his prime with Mildred and Sarah at his side. Catholicism means everything to Pruitt. And yet, he would cast it all aside for another chance to have the family he wanted.

“If you showed up and asked me, I would have taken this collar off and gone with you. Gone with you anywhere in the world,” Pruitt tells Mildred after she’s been vampirified.

That’s a touching sentiment from the artist formerly known as Father Paul but it’s unfortunately a destructive one.

“When it became clear that Paul could do bad things with pure motives, the show came into clearer focus. There’s only one character in the whole show who I think is evil and it’s not Father Paul,” Flanagan says.

Only one character who is evil? Who could Flanagan be referr….ohhh.

What Were the Vampires’ Plans?

Flanagan actually never confirms which character he sees as evil, but Bev Keane (Samantha Sloyan) seems to be the best fit…unless we count the angel, and he just seems to be a hungry, growing boy.

Bev is, let’s say, a real piece of work. As beautifully depicted by Sloyan, Bev Keane is the officious church lady who can’t keep her nose out of other people’s business. After Mildred talks some sense into John Pruitt, he understands that he and his congregation “are the wolves” and refuses to participate further. That leaves a power vacuum at the top, which Bev is more than happy to step into.

Why Midnight Mass is Mike Flanagan’s Most Personal Work

By Alec Bojalad

Midnight Mass Cast: Previous Credits From Hill House to Bly Manor, Legion & Sherlock

By Louisa Mellor

Now that Bev has a veritable army of superpowered vampires what does she intend to do with them? The same thing that all Bevs want to do: make more Bevs. Bev represents the worst of colonial Christianity and its historical penchant for converting all to its kingdom of heaven…through any means necessary.

When Erin Greene (Kate Siegel) finds out that Bev and friends have merely disabled the boats and not destroyed them, she realizes that their ultimate plan is to eventually take their vampire party to the mainland and create a whole planet of enlightened Christians who just happy to have an insatiable taste for blood and a severe UV-ray allergy.

What Happens to Crockett Island?

Thankfully, Bev’s ultimate goal never comes to pass thanks to the careful plotting of the handful of human beings left in Crockett Island. Erin Greene, Sarah Gunning (Annabeth Gish), Sheriff Hassan (Rahul Kohli), and Annie Flynn (Kirstin Lehman) get to work on finishing the destruction that Bev started.

Ironically, it’s part of Bev’s plan that eventually dooms her and her kind. When one of Bev’s lackeys proposes putting out a fire that the human crew started because the whole island could burn to nothing like in ‘84, Bev’s eyes light up.

“I mean…the church didn’t burn in ‘84,” she says.

Surely this is Revelation. And Revelation means a hale mixed with fire and blood. There will be a flood of fire that ends the world and St. Patrick’s church will be the arc. That’s a great plan and all…as long as something doesn’t happen to the arc.

Welp. Sarah Gunning burns down St. Patrick’s and Sheriff Hassan and Erin Greene (with an assist from Hassan’s son) burn down the rec center. As if burning a church designated as an arc wasn’t symbolically compelling enough, recall that the rec center next to it is equally as symbolic of Bev’s greed. It was Bev who convinced Crockett Island to take the oil company’s money for ruining their island rather than pursuing litigation. And all they got out of that settlement money was that stupid rec center.

With the church and the rec center gone, there are no man-made structures for the vampires to hide from the sun in the coming morning. And that’s how an entire island of 120-ish vampires perishes simultaneously when the sun rises.

Why Do Leeza and Warren Survive?

All of Crockett Island perishes save for two actually. Warren Flynn (Igby Rigney) and Leeza Scarborough (Annarah Cymone) are spared thanks to some quick thinking. Putting the only two remaining non-vampirized children in harm’s way is not an option for Erin, Sarah, Hassan, and Annie. Thankfully, Warren knows of one secret canoe to reach the “Uppards” that Bev’s crew wouldn’t know about.

The canoe doesn’t take Warren and Leeza to the mainland but it does get them away from the carnage to come. The last shot of the series is Warren and Leeza floating peacefully and Leeza announcing that she can no longer feel her legs. This means that the last bit of “angel” blood has likely left her system and with it Pruitt’s vampire legacy is over.

Saving Warren and Leeza has practical, emotional implications for Midnight Mass’s characters but it also has some symbolic ones as well. The concept of witnessing and witnesses themselves are very important in the Bible. As a second-hand text (though purportedly with every word inspired by God) there would be no gospel without witnesses. Good news is only half the battle. Someone to witness and report on the good news is the other half. Now Warren and Leeza can report on the ultimate good news that the world is saved.

The fact that the kids survive while the adults succumb to their own adult nonsense has some major implications for Midnight Mass’s creator

“That last moment of the next generation looking out at the ashes of what the grown ups made – that’s what my kids are gonna get no matter what,” Flanagan says. “That’s what all of our kids are gonna get. I wish it wasn’t as on fire as it it. But it really is. We’re never going to be able to explain adequately to our children what happened to the planet they inherited.”

What Happens to the Angel?

With all of Crockett Island burned to the ground, the world’s vampire nightmare is over, right? Well that depends on how well you think an angel can fly with torn wings. No, that’s not an aphorism or a poem, it’s the real question facing the end of Midnight Mass.

As if saving Warren and Leeza and upending Bev Keane’s plans weren’t enough, Erin leaves one last little gift for humanity before she dies. While the angel attacks her and drinks her sweet, sweet blood, Erin begins systematically, yet carefully cutting holes in its leathery wings. At first the angel is kind of annoyed but his hunger supersedes any level of discomfort or pain he’s feeling.

Later on, while Warren and Leeza watch their home burn they see the angel flying away but in a halted, loopy pattern. The kids aren’t sure if the beast will have time to find shelter before the sun rises. According to Flanagan, if Midnight Mass is a parable (and he assures us it is) then the ultimate lesson of all this isn’t too hard to glean.

“The angel doesn’t represent vampirism or horror but corruption in any belief system,” he says. “It represents fundamentalism and fanaticism. That’s never gonna go away. You might chase it away from your community for a minute. You might send it off to the sunrise and hope that that corrupting ideology will disappear. But it won’t. And the show could never show the angel die for that reason.”

With that in mind, the angel’s flawed flight pattern isn’t so much Inception’s spinning top but rather a promise that evil will find a way. And then we puny human beings will just have to find a way to stop it all over again. If that’s not Biblical then we don’t know what is.

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All seven episodes of Midnight Mass are available to stream on Netflix now.

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carllisle · 3 years

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Ma'am may I ask for some vampire Esme and human Carlisle headcanons or another fic if you prefer💖Can't stop thinking about your last nsfw vampire esme and human carlisle fanfic It's amazing.🥺

Thank you my darling! I hope you don’t mind some headcanons rather than a mini fic right now!

Rosalie is a doctor at the local hospital working in pediatric care. She’s a newly qualified doctor and it’s a small hospital, though, and she learns as much on the job as she can. Because of this, she is the first of the family to meet Carlisle who is new to town and a surgeon. She likes him for his human touch, and he lacks the arrogance that a lot of surgeons have

Esme is a teacher at the local elementary school and she and Rosalie are posing as sisters, taking Rosalie’s surname for now, with Jasper being their younger brother attending a local college. Alice and Edward are Esme’s adopted kids who are in their final year of high school, and Emmett just about passes as a college graduate married to Rosalie

Esme and Carlisle first meet in the grocery store when she is shopping with Rosalie. It’s a small town where a lot of kids are underprivileged, their community on the fringes of a major city that hasn’t managed to sweep the suburbs up in its cosmopolitan wealth yet, so a lot of Esme’s teaching supplies come out of her own pocket. They’re still unbelievably wealthy thanks to Alice, though, so it’s not a problem and Esme enjoys being able to spend money on her schoolkids. They’re starting cooking lessons at school so she’s buying supplies for that, and Rosalie is helping her.

Carlisle is in his early 40s and is from the UK and found himself in the USA after following a woman ten years ago. The relationship broke down but he stayed in the USA and worked in community hospitals. Coming from the UK and valuing the ethos of the NHS (that everyone deserves access to good healthcare) he vowed not to work at the inaccessible metropolitan centres that brought wealth and fame, but to always do his best in communities that needed it the most. That’s how he ended up in the small, rainy town as Esme and her family.

Carlisle wasn’t Esme’s singer but he did smell especially good to her - even seeing him made her thirsty, she wanted him so bad. Rosalie introduced them in the pasta aisle and Esme smiled politely and she instantly loved his smile. While her throat burned, there were butterflies in her stomach. If he noticed her cold touch when they shook hands, he didn’t mention it. He smiled, tired though he was, and asked after their twenty kilograms of penne and Rosalie noticed how brightly Esme smiled when she told her

Rosalie told her to be careful in the car after. Esme was very quiet after the encounter, moreso than usual, and Rosalie could see how affected she was already. Esme denied anything odd was going on but she couldn’t stop thinking about Carlisle’s handsome, warm, face and how he looked at her longer than he looked at Rosalie

A few weeks later there was a lice outbreak at school and the nurse was out sick, and Carlisle agreed to come to the school to help out on his day off. Esme brought him coffee and thanked him for coming. He asked if he could buy her a real coffee but she evaded his question. He thought it was because of his age - he had no idea she was a hundred years older than he

Esme usually avoided the hospital because her control was still not anywhere near as good as Rosalie’s but she ended up dropping by to see Rosalie a few times in the following month, of course with the intention of running into Dr Cullen. It worked; it was a small hospital after all, and run-ins were inevitable. Esme bit her lip when she saw him in his scrubs and white coat and she lived to hear his voice. Everything about him invited her in, from his face to his scent to his kind words. It didn’t help that he lit up completely when he saw her

During the science fair a few months into this loose flirtation, Esme asked him to come and help judge the entries. She wasn’t sure what compelled her to, but they had run into each other at the grocery store again and she had just blurted it out. He had happily agreed. He liked being around the enthusiastic minds of the kids and there was something about seeing their devotion to their favourite teacher Miss Esme (she liked them to call her that rather than Miss Hale, it felt more personal, more equal) that made him ask to see her properly. In the coriddor, he caught her by the wrist and smiled and asked her “let me take you out on a real date. Please? I just want to know you better.”

Rosalie was furious that Esme had accepted. “He’s a human!” she told her. “A nice one!” Esme protested, but she knew Rosalie was right. She visited Carlisle’s small home that night to cancel. Carlisle was wrapped up against the cool November air in a thick jumper and scarf and he was surprised to see her. “How did you know where I live?” he asked in surprise. “I... people talk,” she replied weakly. “I didn’t have your number. But I don’t think we should see each other.” Carlisle looked hurt. “I don’t understand,” he said quietly. “I’m not good,” Esme tried to explain. He had the confidence of a handsome man, but the kind touch of a good one. He touched her cheek and gently pulled her inside his home and closed the door. Vampire though she was, she was powerless to him in that moment. “You are,” he told her quietly. “I can see it in everything that you do. No one who is bad is as loved as you. Let me know you.”

She wanted to tell him everything then. She’d never felt a connection to someone so quickly, like they were somehow meant to meet and find each other in the chaos of time and space. “I have secrets,” she whispered. “I want to know them,” he answered. “They sound crazy,” she protested, but her fingers began tracing the knit of his jumper and his arms came around her. “You’re so cold,” he remarked. “That’s part of my secret,” Esme confessed. “Are you anemic? That’s not so bad.” Esme laughed at his guess. “Sort of.”

They had their first date that night. They settled on the sofa in front of the fire he lit in the hearth and they were both wrapped in blankets and they talked for hours like they had known each other their whole lives. She told him as much of their public story as she felt was fair and he told her of his wonderful life and she thought her head was spinning from falling in love so quickly. It wasn’t love, she reminded herself, but it was something. It was the start of something.

He moved to kiss her but she couldn’t let him. She didn’t know if she could bear to have him so close and feel the rush of his blood under his skin, not when she wanted him in so many different ways. But she had enough control to kiss his hand and his fingers and she held his hand to her cheek and felt his pulse. It made her throat burn like it hadn’t in years and it knocked her back.

It was after midnight that she cane home and her family were concerned. Well, Alice wasn’t. Alice was excited - she told Esme that the future looked bright, for the most part, but that there would be some tense moments. Esme was horrified at her daughter’s estimation and hid away. Emmett tried to comfort her and told her that if she needed to feed on this doctor, that’s okay, it was only in their nature. She hugged him tight and thanked him for his understanding but confirmed she didn’t want to do that. He nodded then and told her he would help her, then. Alice came up to her room and apologised for overwhelming her.

Rosalie was still angry. Furious, really, that Esme was risking the secrecy of their family for some human. Edward told her to ease up, that Esme had always put the family first and had never once asked for anything, and that she had been alone for longer than the rest of them put together, didn’t she deserve a chance at love? Rosalie said yes, if she intended to change this man before things got more complicated. Esme looked at them, wide-eyed as she tried to understand what they meant. She and Carlisle had barely spent any time together and already her children were talking as if it were a done deal? That she could condemn him to an eternity of this life?

“It’s what you condemned me to,” Rosalie pointed out. An old wound that existed between them and came up now and again, it hurt both of them. It felt like a cheap blow sometimes, but it was something Rosalie was burdened with in the deepest parts of her heart. “Because I thought I was saving you,” Esme said weakly. “He’s not dying. How could I take away his life? I barely know him.”

“The future isn’t certain, but it’s on the cards,” Alice piped up gleefully. Jasper rested a hand on her shoulder to hold back her enthusiasm. He could feel Esme’s misery.

Carlisle thought he was going mad when more hints of Esme’s nature were revealed to him. He was a man of science, after all, and a man of God! How was this possible? But every question he had, Esme answered honestly, albeit shyly. He thought about running a few times. What woman could possibly be worth this? But she was. She so easily was worth it. He loved her quickly, everything about her. Within months he asked her to change him. He begged her to change him. He soon wanted her above everything else, he wept because he wanted eternity with her so desperately.

Eventually he was granted immortality, but not for a good few years yet.

#human!carlisle #needahugfromesme #darling!!! thank you so much for asking!!#it was so fun to write like this #carlesme #ellie writes

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