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lonelyreputation · 4 years

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Sixth Step

A/N: Hiiii! For all you angst lovers out there––Here’s some angst! We love the angst! all of it!!! This was a request sent in and I had a lot of fun crafting a story around the sound of a staircase!

I’d love to hear your thoughts! Thanks a million to everyone who has read my stories! I appreciate and love you all to bits!!💗

PROMPT: The squeak of an old wooden staircase

Chat Chat Chat | MASTERLIST

Warnings: Angst (!!!), underage drinking, and a swear word or three

Word Count: 8.4K

| 2004 |

You didn’t know what moving to a different neighborhood meant at six years old. You didn’t have any bearings that the town you were moving to was three hours away from where you previously lived. So it was rather confusing when your parents informed you that you wouldn’t be able to play superheroes with your neighborhood friends the following weekend.

You liked having the boxes piled up on top of each other throughout the house; it made for good hiding places when playing hide-and-seek. But then the boxes began to disappear, so did the window curtains, and so did the furniture. You now had nowhere to hide when playing.

With your tiny arms crossed over your chest, and a permeant pout on your face staring out the window, you felt sad about leaving your friends. You didn’t want to find new people to play superheroes with. What if your new friends didn’t want to play superheroes with you? You had stopped your fussing an hour into the drive when your dad promised you ice-cream if you behaved the rest of the way.

You hadn’t said a word to them since.

You saw the skyline of a city you weren’t familiar with––Toronto, is what your parents had said––and soon the highway began to morph into more residential streets. Trees lined the streets and kids played in their yards, all running to the side of the road when your car passed. You don’t know how much longer you were in the car for until you saw a Welcome to Pickering sign.

A few more turns down a few more unfamiliar streets; you stopped outside of a house that had a nice sold sign out on the front lawn. Your father parked the car, got out, and tried to unbuckle you with your arms still bitterly crossed over your chest. Your father didn’t say anything, and instead let out a sigh of relief, when he got you out of the carseat constraints. He said something to you, but you ignored him as you grabbed your teddy bear, walked over to the front lawn, and sat up against the pretty white sold sign.

A new house, you thought to yourself, your old house was better.

You sat on the lawn as you watched your parents take the brown boxes you hid behind during hide-and-seek and carry them in, one by one into the house. The pout on your face deepened until a soccer ball came rolling toward you.

But the soccer ball wasn’t the only thing coming toward you. A boy with scraggly brown hair ran at you full speed. You clutched your teddy bear tighter to your chest as the soccer ball stopped right in front of you. And the boy quickly stopped running before he barreled into you.

Out of breath, he was bent over and leaned his hands on his scrawny knees, “Hi, I’m Shawn,” You rolled the ball toward him and didn’t say anything. He picked up the ball, “My mom told me there would be new people where the Phillips used to live. What’s your name?”

“Y/n,” you loosened your grip around your teddy bear.

Shawn smiled, “Do you play soccer?”

You shook your head and offered him a counter question, “Do you play superheroes?”

Shawn’s eyes widened as his jaw dropped, “I love to play superheroes!” He said with excitement, “Oh, gosh, Brian’s gonna be so happy that we’ll have a new friend––“

“Y/n!” Your mother called you from the front door, “Come pick out your room!”

You nodded at her and stood up, holding your teddy bear by its arm, “Wanna come pick out my room with me?”

Shawn eagerly nodded his head and was running past you to your front door, “I know the best room in the house! Peter had the best room.”

You giggled behind him as you kept up with his pace. Your mother smiled down as you ran in the house. You let out a short and hurried, mom this is my new friend Shawn, before the two of you were racing up the steps.

The staircase was wooden and tall. You almost were out of breath until Shawn abruptly stopped in the middle and pointed down at a specific step, “This one creaks a lot. Mrs. Phillips didn’t like the sound of it.” Shawn softly stepped on the stair, his legs not long enough to extend up to the next step, and the staircase let out a high pitched creak.

You covered both of your ears with your hands, the sound reminiscent to nails scratching on a chalkboard. Carefully, you tried copying Shawn’s movements of stepping on the particular stair with ease, but to no avail, the step creaked again that sent shivers down your spine.

“C’mon, you need to get the best room in the house,” Shawn tugged on your wrist.

You forgot about the cruel sound of the wooden step and chased after Shawn with a smile on your face.

| 2013 |

“Be quiet,” you leaned out of your window to whisper yell at Shawn, “my parents are asleep.”

It was dark so you weren’t able to see Shawn’s facial expression, “Just hurry up.”

Instead of a verbal reply, you picked your phone off your nightstand and sent him a text message: give me five minutes to change. He responded with something about telling you not to take long. Not thinking that his message was worth responding to, you shut your window softly and quietly turned the locks shut with a soft click. You changed out of your sweatpants and into shorts as you decided to keep your long-sleeved shirt on.

You grabbed your phone and house key as you tip-toed across your room to the door. You opened it as cautiously as you closed it behind you, not wanting to wake your parents up at quarter to midnight.

With your shoes in your hands, you slid your sock clad feet across the wooden floorboards until you got to the old staircase. You had never dreaded them more until this very moment. Ever since you moved into this house, your parents always talked about getting it fixed, but they never stayed true to their word. Oh, how you wished they had.

You slowly stepped down on the top step and it was silent. One, you mentally counted in your head. You slowly brought your second foot down so you were standing on the top step. You can do this, you prepared yourself for the next step, two. Two steps down, four to go. As you continued to mentally count the stairs, you paused when you got to stair number five. You can do this, you repeated to yourself mentally, it’s just a stair.

With a hand on the banister, you used it as an anchoring point to hold on tight until you skipped over the sixth step and had your foot firmly placed on the seventh step. You let out a deep breath as you kept yourself steady as you moved your second foot down on the seventh step. No creak. You smiled and patted yourself on the back as you continued to quietly walk down your staircase and sneak out the back door.

You picked your bike up that was leaning against the side of your house and walked it over to Shawn, who had his own bike. His phone screen illuminated his face as he looked up, “Finally.”

“Hey,” you scolded him as you rolled your bike onto the street, Shawn following you, “You know how hard it is to sneak out with that staircase.”

Shawn rolled his eyes as he swung a leg over his bike and started to peddle. You followed his actions and the two of you were biking down your street. The ride was filled with mindless conversation as the humid summer air hit your skin. The party that you were both invited to was being held at someone’s house whose parents were away for the weekend. And that schoolmate just so happened to have an older sibling of legal drinking age and was able to provide alcohol.

Once you arrived at the house, both of you leaned your bikes against the side of the house, not wanting to draw attention to your bikes from the other residential houses, and entered through the back gate––the text said to come through the back and knock four times, pause, and then once more, Shawn said–––and as soon as the secret knock was completed, you were in the basement with a red solo cup of something in your hands.

You and Shawn had stayed pretty much joined at the hip since arriving. Every refill of a drink, you got together; every conversation, you had together.

There was only one time you and Shawn were separated and it was when you were dragged to the bathroom by your friend Alex. You stood outside while they did their business. There were a few times you had to turn away stumbling drunk teenagers, and it was fairly comical, because you weren’t too far behind your drunk classmates.

After a few more minutes, you heard the toilet flush and the faucet turn on promptly. Alex exited the bathroom and hooked their arm around yours, “Have you seen the eyes Shawn’s been giving you all night?!”

You stopped walking, blocking the narrow hallway to the bathroom, “What?” You leaned back and stared at Alex with raised eyebrows, “He has not been giving me eyes all night.”

“I bet you that he’s staring at you right now.”

You peered over Alex’s shoulders and searched the room for Shawn. It only took you a few moments, he always stood out in a crowd to you, and while he wasn’t staring at you, you could see his eyebrows scrunched together. His head scanning the room.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” You unhooked your arm from theirs and crossed your arms stubbornly over your chest, “He doesn’t like like me. Not in the way I like him.”

Alex rolled their eyes, “You’re best friends! It’s destiny! You came to a party together! You’re supposed to fall in love!”

“Keep your voice down,” you hushed your friend as you looked over their shoulder. And just when you peered over, Shawn’s eyes connected with yours and you felt the all too familiar butterflies erupt in your stomach. God, you really like like him.

Shawn smiled and waved at you to come back over. Alex noticed your attention not on them anymore and turned around. Once they got a look at Shawn waving you down, their head slowly turned back toward you, eyebrows raised and a smirk delicately placed on their lips.

“Not a word,” you glared at Alex as you walked away from them and over to Shawn.

Alex laughed as they trailed behind you, picking up drinks for the both of you in the kitchenette area. You stayed at the party for a few more hours until you and Shawn both decided to call it quits. While both of you weren’t drunk, you two weren’t sober either. Still giggly with flushed red cheeks, you got your bikes from the side of the house and biked back to your street.

“That was really fun,” you smiled and looked over at Shawn. The street lights casted a dim light on him, “we should do that again sometime.”

“Thanks for not leaving my side,” Shawn confessed, “I was really nervous.”

Luckily, you showed up at your house right as Shawn let his first ounce of nervousness shine through. You hopped off your bike and put your kickstand up when you reached the top of your driveway, “What do you mean? They’re your friends too.”

Shawn got off his bike seat, but his legs were still planted on either side by the peddles, ready to hop back on the seat and ride away to his house, “Yeah I know…It’s just,” his hands gripped his handlebars, knuckles turning a slight shade of white, “Since I started posting those singing videos they haven’t been super…nice.”

Your shoulders fell at his confession. Shawn had been posting his videos to YouTube and to a new app––Vine––and while you were supportive of it, some of his classmates saw it as a way to tease him. His confession about his lack of confidence sobered you up.

You left your bike and walked up to him, placing your hands on top of his. Shawn’s eyes looked down at your touching hands and then back up to your comforting eyes.

You thought to yourself; Does he feel it too? The electricity?

“It’s easier said than done––but don’t––they don’t know what they’re talking about,” you slightly stumbled over your words, “They’re just shitty people with nothing better to do,” you squeezed his hand, “This––You’re gonna do great things Shawn. I know great things will come from this. And I’ll always be there cheering you on.”

Shawn smiled as he let out a soft chuckle, “It’s just for fun, posting the videos.”

You shrugged your shoulders, “Whatever it is or whatever comes from it,” you gave him a pointed look, “I’ll always be there for you.”

Shawn’s smile grew wider and he tilted his head to the side slightly, “You looked really pretty tonight.”

Your heart swelled up so much that it felt as if your oxygen supply had been cut off. You felt as if you were floating above the pavement. Shawn called you pretty. Your crush called you pretty.

“Thanks––That’s uh––You looked pretty…too,” you hadn’t had any alcohol to drink in the last hour, but you were drunk on him.

Shawn returned your beaming smile. It was silent between the two of you, not knowing where to take the conversation from there. You had been best friends since you moved into the neighborhood ten years ago and not once had the two of you not had anything to say to each other. But this was uncharted territory. You didn’t know how to further this conversation.

“I––uh,” Shawn’s smile turned into one of remorse, “I should probably head home, get some sleep.”

You retracted your hand away from his in lightning speed, oh, god, you thought to yourself, I messed this up––I shouldn’t have called him pretty––He probably doesn’t like me back––I’m such an idiot.

Shawn didn’t seem to notice you internally panicking as he sat back up on his bike, reaching the tip of his sneakers on the pavement to keep him somewhat balanced, “We––Are you busy tomorrow night?”

Your panicking came to a cease, but you didn’t let your hopes up too high, “Is there another party?”

Shawn shook his head side-to-side, “I was––There’s a new pizza place in town and I was wondering if you’d like to try it…with me.” He seemed to struggle as much as you getting your words out.

You felt a small bubble of excitement fester in the pit of your stomach, but you were still weary, “With Brian or––“

“No.”

And just as fast as Shawn cut you off, a smile quickly made its way onto your face.

“Just––I want it to be just us.”

You nodded your head, “That sounds nice.”

Shawn nodded his head slowly, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, “It does sound…nice,” he pushed his kickstand up with the heel of his foot, “I’ll text you?”

“Text me,” you smiled as you watched him bike away to his house.

You were smiling as you quietly walked your bike to your back yard and leaned it up against the wall. You took your shoes off, losing your balance a few times, before you leaned your hand flat against the side wall to support you. Once they were off, you unlocked the door, and slid your way across the wood floors.

Sure, you were still tipsy from the party, but nothing compared to how drunk you felt a moment ago with Shawn when he asked you out. It was difficult to concentrate on anything when you were in his presence. He had this aura around him that instantly made your worries disappear into thin air. It was the closest thing you felt to believing that magic actually existed.

You made it to the staircase, it seemed steeper than before, but you just chalked that up to being tipsy. You were able to bike home with Shawn in one piece, you could handle going up the stairs.

One, you counted to yourself…Two.

You couldn’t believe that you were going on a date with Shawn––Three––Never in your wildest dreams did you ever dream that this would happen. You thought you were just destined to be best friends for the rest of your life––Five––Maybe you should’ve taken Alex’s advice sooner and just asked him out yourself––Six.

Six.

Before you could stop yourself from placing your whole foot down on the stair, your eyes widened as the cursed sixth step screeched out an unbelievably loud creak. With your whole foot pressed down on the step, it sounded as if a grand piano had fallen down five stories.

Shit.

You quickly skipped your way up the stairs, praying to God that you didn’t wake your parents. You thought you were off the hook when you made it to the top of your steps without anyone coming out to check on the noise. With a hand on your door knob, you had just twisted it down when another creak sounded.

The creak of a door.

“Y/n?” It was your dad, “What are you––It’s nearly four in the morning.”

“I got––I’m thirsty––Went down for some water.”

Your dad almost bought your excuse. You felt so close to escaping his gaze and being in the comfort of your bed. You didn’t know if it was the stumble of your words, they were slightly slurred together, or if it was your wobbling that you tried to stop by holding onto the door knob until your knuckles were white.

“Are you drunk?”

You shook your head fast, trying to deny him, but that only caused you to become nauseous, “No––“

But you couldn’t even finish your sentence before you darted to the hall bathroom, a sound uglier than the creak of the sixth step emitted from the bathroom when you threw open the toilet lid and stuck your head in. Your dad was behind you, pushing the loose strands of your hair back, “You are so grounded,” he chuckled.

Not being able to argue or defend yourself, you nodded, accepting your punishment. The only thought swirling around in your head was how you had to tell Shawn you needed to reschedule your date for tomorrow night. But it wasn’t a big deal, because Shawn had gotten caught by his mother and was grounded as well.

| 2017 |

You didn’t care that you stepped on the cursed sixth step, or that you placed your suitcase on the stair as well. You flinched at the sharp creak, but payed no attention to it, as you continued to carry your suitcase down the stairs. It was only a carry on bag, but you still needed both hands to walk it down the stairs.

Your mother rounded the corner dressed in an apron and a whisk in her hand as she scolded you, “Y/n, please watch out for the stair!”

“Sorry, mom!” You set your luggage down at the bottom of the old staircase and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

She gave you a forgiving smile and walked back into the kitchen, “Remember to text me and your father when you get to the airport, when you’ve boarded the plane, about to take off, landed––“

“––And when I’ve made it past security, when I get in the car Shawn has scheduled, when I make it to the arena––yes mom,” you repeated her list of requests as you stole a cookie that was on the island cooling down, “Chill, I got this.”

She stopped her mixing and let her shoulders drop, “I know…I know,” she let out a sigh, “Are you sure you want to visit him on tour?”

You scrunched your eyebrows together, stealing another cookie and talking with your mouth full, “Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s just that…He…You two haven’t always had the most stable relationship over the years.”

You were about to take another bite of the cookie when you suddenly felt a bit nauseous. Your mom wasn’t wrong, you and Shawn didn’t have a good track record. You were dating Shawn for two years when he decided he wanted to call it quits right before he opened up for Taylor Swift. You were crushed. You cried into your mother’s shoulder for two weeks; thinking you were never going to find someone like Shawn again.

But after three months of being officially broken up, Shawn called you up saying how stupid he was for breaking up with you, and begged you to take him back. Blinded by your infatuation for him, you took him back in a heartbeat. Things were a bit rocky as he finished up tour with Taylor Swift, finding his footing with his new sense of fame, but when he returned home to you, things were wonderful.

Things were wonderful for six months until rumors about him and Camilla Cabello started making their way to headlines of every magazine. You ignored it at first, knowing that Shawn liked you, but when it got to the point where some pictures were leaked that made it look like Shawn and Camilla were more than friends, you confronted Shawn and told him it made you uncomfortable. His only excuse was that it put his name in the news and would help his career.

You broke up with him.

But two months later, after you had stolen a bottle of wine from your parents alcohol cabiet, and sat on the roof with Alex, crying about how much you missed him––you drunk dialed him and apologized for overreacting.

The two of you were back together for three months until your next break up. You don’t even remember what that one was about.

But after sitting down, and having an adult conversation about what needed to change on both sides in the relationship, you two were back together. Above anything else, the two of you agreed that your friendship was the most important thing, and you didn’t want to jeopardize it. But after deciding that the two of you couldn’t go back to being just friends like the time before you were both fifteen––you decided to give a relationship another chance.

It had been a little less than a year since that talk and you were happier than ever. But you could understand the hesitation your mother had. She had spent more than enough nights holding you tight when you felt like your world was falling apart, whispering encouraging sentiments in your ear.

“You’re best friends with his mom,” you deflected the question, “Do you think she thinks the same about me?”

Your mother glared at you and wiped her hands on her apron, “Karen doesn’t have anything to do with this,” she took a seat on the stool next to you, “If you’re happy, then I’m happy, I just want you to feel comfortable.”

“I’m fine mom, we’re…” you trailed off looking for the right words, “We’re doing fine. No break up in sight.” Your mother raised her eyebrows at you and you swatted the air, “We're doing really well.”

She left the conversation off there to die and went back to baking her cookies. Twenty minutes later your dad walked down the stairs, breathing out a tiny shit, when he stepped on the sixth step. Both you and your mom cringed at the screeching sound. Jingling his car keys, you hugged your mom bye, took hold of your suitcase and walked out the door with your dad who was dropping you off at the airport.

You were a ball of nervousness as you waited at your gate to Glendale, Arizona. Your leg rapidly bouncing up and down didn’t hide your anxiety well. So you texted Shawn. He responded a few minutes later, saying he was in between some tour stuff, but would continue to text you. A smile crept onto your face thinking about how even though Shawn was busy, he was still making time for you.

•••

Houston, Texas was blistering hot.

You didn’t know if you were used to different weather back in Canada and overreacting to the heat down south, but a tear was shed every time you saw someone walk around in jeans; and that included Shawn.

“Are you alright up there?” You brought a fist up to Shawn’s head and lightly knocked it, “Need a doctor?”

You were lying down on a couch in Shawn’s dressing room in the Toyota Center, and while the air conditioning was on full blast, you still didn’t understand how Shawn could be wearing jeans.

Shawn pushed your hand away, but not before it got too far. He tangled his fingers with yours and rested them on his chest. You smiled as you snuggled further into his hold around you.

“I just don’t think about it,” he shrugged his one shoulder, “It helps that we’re inside.”

You rolled your eyes and stretched your neck back to look at him, “You’re insane.”

“Insane for you, darling”

Darling. It was one of the only pet names that Shawn called you and it never failed to make your insides erupt in pure bliss.

You rolled your eyes once more and pressed a kiss to his cheek, “You’re nice.”

“I don’t get anything in return?” He playfully scoffed, “I gave you a compliment and I don’t get one back? What kind of relationship are we in?”

You untangled his arm from around your shoulder and leaned your upper body up to hover over him with a smile, “You are incredibly handsome and I’ve been insane for you since we were fifteen.”

Shawn’s bright eyes disconnected from yours and went to stare at your hands that were still together on his chest. He rubbed his thumb over the top of your hand, “Don’t know how you’ve put up with me for so long.”

Your heart melted, and not in the typical way it does around Shawn, your heart sunk at the deflated sound of his voice. It brought you back to the night when you were fifteen and Shawn confided in you that he was nervous to go to a party.

“Hey,” you softly whispered as you gently leaned back down on the couch and cuddled into him. He instantly wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you in tight to him, afraid that if you were to move an inch, you would be gone forever.

You brought your free hand to stroke along side his face until he looked at you. His eyes were wide and full of sadness, “No one’s relationship is perfect, and yeah we’ve gone through some…tough times,” Shawn flinched as if replaying every single breakup between the two of you, “But we’re here,” you squeezed his hand, “We’re here and better than ever.”

Shawn released your hand at the same time he retracted his hand from around your waist. Oh no, you thought to yourself, I messed this all up––I said something wrong––He’s pulling away. But with your negative thoughts quickly entering your mind, they left as you saw Shawn was just adjusting his position.

He shifted from lying on his back to resting on his side; his chin on his propped up arm and his free hand twirling a strand of a loose piece of hair. He was silent as he twirled the piece of hair between his index finger and thumb, carefully choosing his next words.

“You deserve so much,” he dropped the strand of hair and cupped your face with his hand. You wanted to lean into his touch, but your stomach plummeted as your mother’s words echoed in your head––you two haven’t always had the most stable relationship over the years.

You screwed your eyes tight and held your breath, preparing for the worst, “Are you breaking up with me?”

Shawn’s thumb stopped rubbing soothing circles on your cheek, “Wha––No, Y/n––That’s not––Shit, it probably sounded like I was, but I’m not––Hey, look at me please.”

After a few seconds of deep breathing to calm yourself down, you opened your eyes to see Shawn’s panicked ones already staring at you. He tried to soften his eyes, and his smile came out as more of a grimace, but in your mind you knew that you probably looked petrified too.

The two of you took a couple of extra seconds to collect your thoughts. Shawn was the first to speak, “What I meant to say––You deserve so much and I’ll spend everyday trying to live up to your standards to go above and beyond what you deserve.”

Your heart fluttered at his confession. While the two of you did have a rocky relationship, you knew Shawn always tried to be the best version of himself.

“I love you,” he whispered those three words at you like the two of you would whisper into your walkie talkies you got when you were twelve, “I think I’ve loved you for years now.”

Your heart skipped a beat. It was the first time he had said those words to you since you started dating. There were plenty of times, when the two of you were just friends, and those words were said before hanging up the phone after talking for a long night––love you––he would say in a lackadaisical voice. But this was different. This was the I love you saved for a partner you were serious about.

“Think?”

Shawn let out a soft laugh as he brushed his nose against yours, “I’ve known that I’ve loved you for years now.”

“I love you, too.” You barely got the sentence out before his lips connected with yours in a burning passion.

It was a sweet kiss, not so much delicate as ones you had previously shared. Shawn slightly leaned his head to the right and hooked his arm around your neck, pulling you flush up against his chest.

You had one hand pressed up against Shawn’s chest and your other hand grasping onto his shoulder to keep you upright and balanced from the dizzying kiss. His lips were soft and warm––it made you your stomach feel like it was doing summersaults.

A different kind of spark ignited within your body. A different kind of love. You had loved Shawn as a friend since before you knew what the word really meant. And right now, as one of Shawn’s hands glided up your shirt and squeezed your breast, you felt like you knew what the word meant in the unconditional sense.

The love you felt for Shawn was unconditional and one you wished to never let go.

| 2019 |

“Karen told me Shawn hasn’t been eating much of his dinner.”

You looked up briefly from taking notes and shrugged your shoulders, “Maybe he has the flu?”

“You haven’t been eating much of yours either.”

You looked up from your textbook with a sigh and leaned back against the kitchen chair, “Maybe I have the flu?”

“Y/n,” your mom gave you a stern look, “You’re home for fall break––with the intention of seeing Shawn––and you’ve seen him once? Twice?”

“Three times,” you grumbled as you picked your pen back up and went back to jotting down notes.

The first time you saw Shawn when you were home was at his apartment in Toronto. That was a fantastic time alone together. The second time you saw Shawn was when he took you out to dinner at the pizza place where you had your first date. That was lovely. And the third time you saw Shawn…The third time you saw him was at a house of a mutual friend who was having a bonfire. That time was not so pleasant.

Brian had drunkenly brought up how Shawn had been working on a new song with Camilla Cabello. Not that Shawn had to clue you in to everything that happened in his life, you would’ve appreciated if he told you that. You weren’t the biggest fan of her––how she was always publicly pining after your boyfriend made you uncomfortable. But she was a friend of Shawn’s and could relate to him on the level of fame they were at, so you respected their friendship.

But it didn’t sit right with you when Shawn conveniently left out that he had been working with her for months.

Your mom stepped around her next words carefully, “And you two are––“

“We’re fine, mom,” you snapped at her. You quickly apologized, the stress of university and Camilla weighing down on your shoulders. Something was not settling right in your stomach. The more you pushed it further down, the more you felt like you couldn’t stop thinking about it. And you knew the only way to get the feeling to go away was to talk it out with Shawn.

The thought of that terrified you.

Camilla had already been the cause of one of your many breakups, you didn’t want her to be the reason for another. Not when everything with Shawn was so good. Everything was ideal, everything was perfect. Shawn and you had been together for three years without a break up. That was your longest streak to date and you were doing everything in your power to keep the fragility of your relationship alive.

“I’ll send him a text,” you offered her a piece of information that would hopefully get her off your back. She said that calling would probably be best. But you told her you didn’t have time to talk on the phone and that you would text him asking him to meet up.

You quickly grabbed your phone that was on top of a few notebooks and tapped away a message: Wanna go on a walk later?

The phone vibrated in your hands before you could even set it back down on the table; Please, the message read. It was like he was waiting by his phone for any sort of communication from you.

Let me finish up this chapter of notes and then we can go? Like 30 minutes?

Your phone vibrated once more, I’ll meet you at your door x

You thumbs-ed up the message, wanting to get a quick response to him and head back to your notes. This was the last of your coursework you needed to complete before you went back to school in a few days. You just had to get through the chapter and then you could relax. But all your mind could think of was the walk you would be going on with Shawn in thirty minutes.

Why were you nervous about seeing your boyfriend? It wasn’t the butterflies you got in your stomach nerves when you first started dating. This nervousness was a seed that had been planted long ago that kept growing and growing until it consumed your whole body. Thirty minutes was too long and not settling well with whatever you were feeling in your stomach. And it didn’t do your school work any justice if you weren’t paying attention.

You grabbed your phone and pulled up Shawn’s contact; finished the chapter early, you shared a little white lie over text, ready to go now?

Walking to your door now.

You put your pen in your textbook as a bookmark and closed it. You slid on your sneakers and hurriedly tied the laces together. You called out to your mom that you were going out on a walk with Shawn and that you would be back later.

You opened your front door to see Shawn with his fist mid-air, preparing to knock. He seemed just as surprised as you to see him standing on your porch. And you took the time to really look at him.

His hair was disheveled, curls out of control, and slight bags under his eyes. His face looked a little more sunken in than the last time you saw him two days ago. It pained your heart to see him like this.

“Hey––Uh––You ready?”

You nodded your head and stepped out into the brisk autumn air that made Pickering feel like home. You closed the door behind you and reached up to wrap your arms around his neck in a hug. Shawn immediately circled his arms around your waist, pulling you close into his chest. You squeezed your eyes tight and breathed in his familiar scent that brought you comfort on your most troubling days.

You knew the purpose of getting together was to go on a walk, but you didn’t want to leave the embrace, and it seemed as though neither did Shawn. His white cotton shirt was soft and you swore you could fall asleep right then and there.

Shawn pressed a kissed to the top of your head, “Feeling alright, darling?”

You stiffened in his arms at his simple question that held a heavier answer than the typical answer of I’m fine. Shawn took notice in your change of posture and took his arms away from around your waist and took one of your hands in his, “Let’s take a walk, yeah?”

A nod was your only response as you let him guide you down your driveway and into the street. His hand that wasn’t holding yours was anxiously picking at loose skin against his thumb. When you noticed his actions, you proposed to him the same question he asked you, “Feeling alright?”

Your eyes were trained on his anxious hand, and when he took notice of where you were looking, he stuffed his hand in the pocket of his gray sweatpants, “I’m––Are you?”

“Turning the question back on me?” You let out a soft laugh as you swung your hands back and forth.

Shawn went along and over-dramatically swung your hands, “I asked you the question first.” You shrugged your shoulders as you continued to swing your hands back and forth.

It was silent between the two of you for five minutes as you turned a corner off your street and walked alongside the grass when you saw an oncoming car. When the car was gone, you were back to walking in the quiet street.

“I’m sorry,” Shawn blurted out, “I should’ve told you about writing with Camilla.”

You nodded your head, “Thanks…”

“But?”

You let out a deep breath and looked up at him, “Why didn’t you feel like you could tell me?”

“I––“ Shawn looked like he was about to answer truthfully, but then went with something that sounded along the lines of a media trained answer, “I know how you feel about her.”

“I’m fine with your friendship,” you clarified for him, “I just don’t get––she’s your friend––why wouldn’t you tell me that you’re writing a song with a friend?”

He was silent.

His palms began to feel sweaty and you gave him a reassuring squeeze, “Shawn, above anything else––I was your best friend before I was your girlfriend––talk to me.”

He let out a shaky breath, “Andrew wanted me to do something.”

You stopped walking momentarily, causing Shawn to stop walking as well. He grasped onto your hand tight and looked down at you with pleading eyes for you to understand, “Something?”

“He––He wanted to have some stupid article written about us––Camilla and me––about how writing songs together made us realize––but I said no.” Shawn quickly threw out the rest of his explanation when he saw your eyes widened and hand start to slip away from his hold, “I said I wouldn’t do that to you.”

He was withholding more information. You didn’t know how you could tell, but you could feel that he wasn’t telling you the whole truth.

“And?”

Shawn let out another deep breath and ran his hand through his already unkempt hair, “He called me yesterday.”

“And?”

“He wants me to go out to lunch or something with her––look like we’re more than friends––to boost the new song.”

You didn’t know if you preferred the media trained answer or the truth.

“You’re––you’re not saying anything else,” you stammered out. Before, when he mentioned the article he said he rejected the idea. But he was silent after this explanation, “Why aren’t you saying anything else?”

“Y/n––“

This time, you were successful in ripping your hand away from Shawn’s hold, “You’re really considering it? Really considering taking her out on a date just to boost your sales?”

“It’s not a date, she’s just a––“

“Friend,” you seethed out, “Shawn, you know how I feel about her!”

“She hasn’t done anything to you!”

You took a small step away from him. You couldn’t believe that he was defending her in front of you instead of defending your relationship with him in front of his manager.

“She drools all over you whenever you’re around!” You tried your best to keep your voice leveled, not wanting to have a full out argument with Shawn in public, “Hell, whenever you’re mentioned, she latches on to it––Oh, Shawn and I are the best of friends––Oh, Shawn is so dreamy––Oh, Shawn––“

“Are you jealous?”

“Of course I’m jealous!” You threw your hands up in exasperation, “You’re my boyfriend.”

Shawn was silent for a moment, he pinched his lip between his thumb and index finger, “It’s just one lunch––We’ve gone out to lunch together before.”

A piece of your heart broke off every time he defended her, “But this is different. You’ll have to sit next to her instead of across the table from her. You’ll have to hold her hand,” your voice wavered and you bit your lip to try and keep your emotions hidden, “You’ll have to look like you’re in love with her.”

He was silent. His eyes softened, looking at you as if all those scenarios hadn’t gone through his head.

“She’s already caused one break up,” You stared down at your scuffed up sneakers as you breathed out, “do you really want her to be the reason for another?”

Shawn straightened his posture, “Who said anything about breaking up?”

You crossed your arms over your chest out of insecurity, you wanted to be guarded from Shawn in every aspect, “You’d be going out on a date with her––“

“It’s not a date.”

“Have you thought of how it would make me look?” A single tear escaped from your eye. Shawn made a move forward, a hand stretched out, wanting to wipe it away himself, but you stepped back, “I’d be written off as Shawn Mendes’s stupid lovesick teenage sweetheart who wasn’t good enough for him so he runs to Camilla–––“

“You’re not stupid––“

“I feel like it!” You raised your voice. It caught both of you off guard. A few birds flew away from the tree you were stood under, “I feel stupid because we keep playing these games, Shawn.”

“There aren’t––What games?”

Shawn stepped forward once more, but like a dance, you stepped back.

You felt another tear fall from the corner of your eye, staining your cheek, “We’re together, we break up, get back together, break up,” you stared into the heartbreak that shined so bright in his fiery eyes and choked out a sob, “Aren’t you getting tired?”

This time when Shawn stepped forward, you let him touch you. You let him place both hands on your shoulder, softly rubbing them as his hands carefully trailed down your arms and to your hands, where he tangled your fingers together, “But that’s us. We’re complicated and––and sure we break up a lot––but so do lots of other people and we always get back together––I’ll try harder, I’ll be better.”

You shook your head side to side as you felt Shawn’s hands clutch yours. He wanted you to say something, begging you with every squeeze of you hand, but you continued to shake your head no; you felt your throat constrict and the stinging behind your eyes intensify.

Nostrils flared, Shawn paused to think over his next words carefully, “I love you.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” you whispered as the tears behind your eyes grew too much for you to hold back, surrendering all control to your feelings, you let the tears slip through. Shawn made no move to wipe them away, and you let them trail down your face as a reinforcement to him as to how he was making you feel, “It feels like you’re picking her over me, your girlfriend––your best friend.”

“It’s one lunch––“

“I can’t believe you,” you were struggling to keep your tone neutral, but failed as you tore your hands away from his and brought the sleeve of your––his––sweatshirt to wipe away the tears that couldn’t stop falling, “After everything––everything we’ve been through? You’re picking––“

“You know I would never fucking pick my career over you,” Shawn cut you off. His voice was full of a mix between anger and determination to get you to believe him, but you could also see that he felt hurt, “You’re worth more to me than any of this.”

“Am I?”

His sweatshirt on your body felt as if it was melting into your skin. You wanted it off. Hastily, you took the sweatshirt off and threw it at him. He made no move to catch it as he let it drop to the pavement.

“Y/n––“

“I can’t––Shawn, we can’t…” you couldn’t bring yourself to say that you didn’t want to be together with him. Because, God, all you wanted was to be with him. All you wanted was to feel safe in his embrace again, all you wanted was to hear him annoyingly talk through every movie you saw together, all you wanted was for him to love you unconditionally; like you loved him.

He took a step forward, “Don’t do this,” Shawn pleaded with you.

You gritted your teeth, jaw rigid as you felt your world collapsing around you,“Don’t go on that date.”

He looked away from you, kicked a pebble to the side of the road, and played nervously with his hands, “I can’t––This song means so much––“

Your heart was hanging on by a weak thread and it had just snapped.

Your choked sob cut Shawn off on his own. You brought a hand to cover your mouth, to somehow mask the sound of your cries as you looked up at the sky. There wasn’t anybody up there looking out for you.

“Don’t––Don’t you ever dare call me again.”

In every fairytale, the boy always chased after the girl after a climatic scene; whether it be after a professing of love or a break up, much like the one you just had with Shawn. The girl always wanted the boy to chase after her, and was always upset when he didn’t. But this wasn’t a fairytale; this was a game. Shawn didn’t chase after you and you didn’t want him to.

The short walk back to your house was silent as you sobbed alone. You made it to your front door––the last place you hugged Shawn––and a fresh wave a tears surfaced. Your body trembled as you shakily opened the door. You tried to keep your sobs to a minimum, not wanting to alert your parents of your state, but you heard it.

You heard the screech of the creaking floorboard.

You pressed your back against the door. It felt as if you were floating, an out of body experience––This one creaks a lot––you could see a six-year-old Shawn and yourself running through the house, up the stairs, and suddenly stopping on the fifth stair as a little Shawn smiled at you and pointed down toward the sixth step––Mrs. Phillips didn’t like the sound of it.

You slid down the wall as you replayed through every detail of your friendship: sleepovers, prank calls, matching halloween costumes as you trick-or-treated through out the neighborhood. And then you replayed through every detail of your relationship: stammering words as you two didn’t know how to cross the line from friends to more, delicate touches, the first night you spent alone together at his Toronto apartment, heartbreak.

“Y/n?”

The sound of your mother’s voice only caused you to let out another loud sob. Your cries were so loud that it covered the sound of your mother taking another step on the sixth stair as she rushed over to you.

She knelt down on the ground in front of you and tried pulling your hands away from your face, “Y/n––Sweetie––Are you hurt––It sounds like you were in an accident, please, tell me if you need to go to the hospital––“

“We’re done, mom,” you finally gave up and let her pull your hands away from your face. Her face fell as she took in your appearance; raggedy hair in all directions, flaming red face, and bloodshot eyes with tears still heavily falling down.

She pressed a hand to your forehead, “You’re burning up dear.”

“He––He doesn’t love me.”

Verbalizing your worst nightmare didn’t make it any better. Verbalizing it only made it more real. Verbalizing that Shawn didn’t love you shattered your heart. The shards of your broken heart ripped apart every part of your body that was touched by Shawn. And there was not an inch of your body left untouched by him.

Everything hurt.

Your mother didn’t say anything. She only did what any good mother could do to comfort their child during a heartbreak; she wrapped you up in her arms, the only place you felt safe, and rocked you back and forth until you stopped crying.

You cried all through the night and into the next morning.

The inside of your head pounded with a splitting headache when you awoke the following mid-afternoon. Everything that happened yesterday seemed like a fever dream––it had to be a dream––but the dead weight in your chest where your heart was supposed to be reminded you of it all.

He wants me to go to lunch with her––You squeezed your eyes shut to hold back the tears–––She hasn’t done anything to you–––You buried your head beneath the pillow, doing everything to block out the echoing words of Shawn belittling your concerns–––I love you–––You never wanted to hear anyone say those three words to you ever again–––Don’t do this–––Your bottom lip trembled as you bit your lip to conceal your cry of heartbreak––This song means so much.

Your muffled your tears into your pillow, no doubt staining the cover. This break up felt different than the other times. Every time, you were able to pick up the pieces and repair your heart. Every time, you found it in yourself to forgive him and fall in love with him all over again. Every time, you lowered your standards, preparing yourself for another inevitable heartbreak.

But this felt different. Everything felt different.

Your pale ocean blue walls mourned with you. Your bathroom that Shawn would hide from your parents in when he would sneak over felt tainted. The high pitch screech of the sixth step…Didn't sound as ear splitting.

You made your way to the kitchen, slumping into one of the bar stools and rested your forehead on the cool counter. The sound of a ceramic mug sliding against the granite countertop caused you to slightly lift your head. Your mother stood on the opposite side, a trying smile on her face.

“Hi, darling.”

Darling.

You sucked in a deep breath and held it in as you tried blocking out the memories associated with that word. That word would forever be intertwined with Shawn and there was no way you could separate the two.

Avoiding her eyes, you slowly nodded your head. Your eyes darted around the countertop, searching for your phone that you left on it after you returned from the walk with Shawn; your ex-boyfriend. A pang of pain zipped through your chest as you reached for your phone and flipped it over.

You didn’t know what you were expecting. You didn’t know if it would be better to have a hundred missed calls and twenty unread text messages or nothing at all. You didn’t know what outcome you wanted.

So when you tapped on the screen to illuminate a picture of you and Shawn; cheeks smushed together as the two of you faced the camera to smile with his arms wrapped around you––Your eyes shut tight in happiness, his eyes open wide with love––you saw nothing.

There were no missed calls, no unread text messages. Your lock screen was void of any contact from Shawn.

You clenched your teeth together as you flipped your phone upside down and slid it across the counter to your mom, “Change––change my home screen.”

“Y/n, darling––”

There was that word again.

“Change––” you sniffled as you looked down into your dark tea, “––It,” a single tear slowly fell from your eyes, painfully slow down your cheek, as it splashed into your tea creating a ripple.

“Please,” you said in a choked voice barely above a whisper.

You had told him to never call you again––To never have any contact with you ever again. And at the time yesterday, you meant it with every bone in your body. But Shawn had always texted you after a break up. He had always texted you to check in because, first and foremost, he was your best friend.

Was.

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neoangelic · 4 years

Text

Midnight; mark lee

➳ You sneak off with your midnight boy, Mark Lee. He’s the cool biker-type frat boy from the infamous Nu Gamma Tau house but he’s different when you’re alone.

➳ frat boy! greaser! mark lee x reader (if greasers can be total DORKS) | college au | fluff

➳ note: requested by @leemarkmywords 5000 years ago im so sorry babe shit HAPPENED but I pulled through and wrote it over the course of like six months. I’m sorry its short but i might write more on midnight!mark. Idk if this is soft enough aaaa.

➳ word count: 1730

If you could describe Mark Lee in one word, it would be midnight. He was everything and nothing all at once; the intersection of your dreams and reality. Midnight black hair, midnight black car that he couldn’t even drive, midnight air, and midnight summers. That was Mark. When you were with him, the sky was always a deep, somber blue. The city didn’t do justice for any stars at night, but the twinkling of his wonder-filled eyes was enough for you to gaze into. Midnight black leather jacket, midnight drinks, and midnight kisses—the stolen kind.

“Surprised you managed to sneak out.” The figure jumped at the sound of your voice.

“I didn’t know anyone was out here,” his voice was full and boyish. “Don’t like partying either?”

“Not when there are strangers,” you turned to face him, the moonlight and streetlamp being the only sources of light. He was tall, black-haired, and big-eyed. You looked at the green bottle in his hand, cocking an eyebrow. “They allowed you to take that?”

“Why not? You got one too.” He blew lightly over the top of the bottle, making a hollow whistle.

“You’re not a freshie?”

“And you aren’t?” The boy laughed, “It’s my third year here.”

“Touche—how did you know I’m a first-year?”

“I told you,” he said, sitting next to you on the curb, “it’s my third year. I know a face when I see one and I just happen to not know yours. Why’d you think I was your age? Actually, what is your age? I don’t mean to be a lame jane but alcohol isn’t good for you, you know.”

“I see you hanging out with Jisung and Chenle a lot and they’re in my 101 class—”

“Well, them and the other boys—”

“And I’m… of age.” you shrugged, taking a sip of your canned beer. “If you think it’s so bad then why are you drinking it?

“Because I’m legal enough to make stupid choices.”

“Do you make a lot of stupid choices, then?”

He fell silent for a moment, “uh…yeah, I guess.” You could see his ears tint a slight shade of red. From the embarrassment or the alcohol, you didn’t know. A laugh spilled from your lips. “At least that’s what my hyungs say.”

“You don’t look like a frat boy.” Your eyes land on his Nu Gamma Tau varsity jacket and ring.

“What does a frat boy usually look like?”

“Jung Jaehyun.” The reason why you were here—the reason why your friends dragged you here, rather. “Now tell me, which frat boy are you?”

A breeze picked up at that moment, playing with his hair and tousling it around. The midnight stranger’s cheeks turned pink from the bitter cold and he smiled.

“My name is Mark Lee and you can mark me in your heart—and oh God, did I just say that?”

The next time you saw him, he was leaning against a jet black supercar, the color almost melding into the night.

“That your ride?”

Mark jumped at the sound of your voice, “oh—no, I don’t drive. This is Taeyong hyung’s car. If I drove—well that’s illegal—I don’t do illegal stuff—shit, wait, does that sound suspicious?”

You laugh, “so you’re babysitting his car?”

“Yeah, basically. Are you walking back to your dorm?”

You held up your keys, “walking to my car. Unfortunately not as cool as your hyung’s.”

“You wanna go for a drive, then?” He took a lanyard out of his pocket, keys and keychains jingling as they dangled. “He’s gonna be busy for a while anyway.” Any excuse he can use to find a way to talk to you.

“You look all cool and stuff but you do realize you’re asking me to drive your friend’s car because you can’t drive yourself, right?” You laughed at the absurdity of the situation. “What if I just run off with your friend’s car? I’m a stranger.”

“Well—” then, without warning, Mark snatched the car keys from your hand. You tried to snatch it back but he simply held it over his head which was well out of your reach.

“Hey—” he grabbed your wrist, placing Taeyong’s lanyard and keys in the palm of your hand as he pocketed yours. Your heart skipped at the sudden contact, mind buzzing with white noise, unable to process what was happening.

Mark’s stare peered into your soul, his cool-colored pupils and cold metal against your palm contrasted the warmth of his hand clasped around yours. “Shall we learn a little bit more about each other, then?” His hand squeezed yours, the headlights of Tesla Roadster behind him flashing as he pushes the button on the keys.

You couldn’t do anything but gulp and nod your head.

“Just saying, I’ve never driven an expensive car before.”

You liked to drive fast. Even if Mark was nervous the first few times you took a spin, he grew to like it. Maybe it was the rush of adrenaline that covered up for his anxieties and clumsiness. Maybe it was the way you liked the windows rolled down so that the stinging wind was an excuse for his flushed cheeks. Maybe it was the fact that you were too engrossed on the road to notice him staring.

There was small talk, too.

But of course, everything had to end once it hit 1:27 am. Taeyong had to have his car back without knowing you two ever took it out and you—well, you had to go back to your studies as a non-partying, hard-at-work, medical student. Your friends seemed to wonder why you weren’t as opposed to coming to parties with them nowadays. Fortunately, they never noticed your preference for a certain fraternity. This kept going on for about two months. You were your usual college shut-in self, busy with research and internships—then you’d slip out near midnight to ‘catch some air’ and take a spin in Taeyong’s tesla (which you eventually got permission to do) or lie down on the cool, dewy grass with Mark Lee. It was a cliche. A prim-and-proper student who let loose at night, switching your lab coat for something a little more risque and your coffee for beer.

Meanwhile, Mark Lee always seemed so far away. Everyone was aware of his talent in composition, presentation, dancing, and just about everything. He was that person who got along with everyone—his charisma was unrivaled and he had a high level of maturity that a lot of good-for-nothing seniors lacked. But with you, he was Minhyung Lee. He was windswept and unkempt and always flustered. His exterior may be leather jackets and skinny jeans but on the inside, he was just a boy who had feelings for someone else. Feelings that grew stronger every night that he looked at you while you looked at the stars. Feelings that made his words stumble and falter.

The two of you were sitting atop the hood of Taeyong’s car, a blanket placed beneath as to not scratch the expensive surface. It was night again. You decided to go to Hangang river this time. Beers were placed in your hands as the chilly December air froze your fingertips with the moistened aluminum surface of the can. You shivered.

Mark hummed. “This is nice.”

“Yeah, Hangang is one of my favorite views.” The street lights bounced and swayed with the river, city lights melting into strokes of oranges and whites and blues.

“That too,” he met your eyes, “but I mean this.”

“Which is?”

“Us. The way we talk. Just this—midnight escapades, sometimes drinking, sometimes eating—always laughing.”

You weren’t sure if the chill that went down your spine was the breeze or the way his warm voice spoke low and raspy or how his body shifted just enough to feel his shoulder brush against yours. It was probably the warm sensation that spread through your body as he looked at you with a warm and honeyed stare, speaking those words.

“Yeah.” You hugged your own body to stop the shaking but you still could feel your heart thudding against your chest; tempo presto.

He leaned forward, shrugging off his dark-wash denim jacket. Delicately, he draped the stiff material over your shoulders.

“You know, denim doesn’t retain warmth right?” It was cold to the touch.

Mark froze. “Oh, sorry—do I—do you want me to take it back? I mean, if it…makes you colder.” His cheeks turned pink again. The color rose up to his ears.

“Are you sure you aren’t cold? You’re flushed.”

“N—no. I’m fine. It’s the beer. I’m wearing a sweater and you’re in a shirt.”

“Thanks.” You pulled his jacket closer to your body, trying to create heat. “The jacket helps—I’m just joking.” He put the drinks aside, carefully dropping them onto the floor without knocking them over. You watched mist form with your exhale as you laid down. City-stars weren’t much to look at, but you still liked to look at the sky.

Mark copied your actions, albeit a little awkwardly.

“You know what could keep us warm?”

“What?”

“Body heat—” you tease, turning your body to face him. “we could snuggle.”

He stayed silent for a few moments. The alcohol was sinking in for both of you. Just like that, you stared at him. You saw his lips part and his pupils shake. His eyes were trained on you, frozen like the rest of his body. The wind brushed his soft, dark hair and lights reflected on his glasses, creating a galaxy of stars, chocolate eyes in orbit. Prettier than the sky.

Mark shifted so you were face-to-face.

“You shouldn’t joke about things like that, you know?” Your breath was bated as you felt his on your skin. You smelt the sharp, tangy-sour scent of beer and mints. He gingerly placed a warm hand on your cheek, tucking hair behind your ear. His thumb brushed your ice-cold nose playfully, “especially not with a boy who has feelings for you. It might give me false hope.”

“You—I think you’ve gotten something wrong here,” you lean into the warmth. His hands tremble for a split second. “That hope isn’t false.”

Then, he called out your name. You’ve never heard it so melodic and beautiful on someone’s tongue. He whispered something into the midnight air before stealing a soft kiss.

“I like you.”

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

we might be hollow (but we're brave) [jan x jackie] - pinkgrapefruit

A/N - hey! incase you hadn’t noticed i’m in love with this ship and I had these lyrics and timestamps in my google docs for months with branjie but it just wasn’t fully fitting. thanks to Alex for betaing and i hope you enjoy it! let me know what you think <3

we might be hollow (but we’re brave)

We’re never done with killing time

Can I kill it with you?

‘Til the veins run red and blue

1 7 0 7 - 0 3 - 1 5 - 2 0 0 9

The car hums, low and hoarse as Jackie waits in the school lot. She’d offhandedly promised to pick up her english partner and all of a sudden she’s regretting it, twenty minutes late and low on fuel. She switches it off, flicking the key, and then back on again, hoping not to burn out the fragile engine.

She runs out of the school sweaty and flustered, gym bag slung haphazardly over her shoulder and for a second Jackie is fixated on the way Jan’s baby hairs have plastered themselves across her forehead. The smaller girl slings her bag through the open back window, watching with a smirk as Jackie cringes - sending a warm smile in gratitude.

They play the music loud and keep the air con on low, just cool enough to dry Jan’s hair without the native New Jerseyan complaining about how it’s warmer in the arctic. Jackie’s from Canada, she doesn’t really care.

Jan gives vague directions to her home as and when she sees fit, often directing Jackie to take turns she didn’t even know existed when they’re already almost past them. It drives the brunette mad as she abuses the car’s delicate steering, all to navigate the New Jersey suburbs.

What she does notice is they end up barely two streets over from her own house. A standard three bed, two bath, decent garden house that looks just as identical as every other one in the neighbourhood.

It’s painted blue. Jackie thinks it fits.

They spend the early evening reading excerpts of Romeo and Juliet to each other on Jan’s porch. The blonde reads on the porch chair as it swings aimlessly in the warm early spring breeze. She’s still in her cheer uniform and Jackie doesn’t have a chance to ask how she manages both cheer and soccer. Jackie barely manages hockey.

They eat homemade ice cream sundaes and watch the sunset over the eerie glow of the street lamps until Jan complains she can’t see the pages anymore and Jackie has long since stopped making notes on prose and characters.

They don’t talk about school tomorrow because they won’t see each other. Jan asks if she will pick her up. Jackie says yes.

We come around here all the time

Got a lot to not do, let me kill it with you

0 7 3 2 - 0 4 - 0 2 - 2 0 0 9

Jackie gets a text at half past seven telling her quite emphatically that Jan is running late. There is no question posed that Jackie can discern on the Nokia n95 screen - the glare from the early morning screen compromising her vision anyway - but she grabs her rucksack and the keys to the car and swings round the corner anyway.

She rationalises it by telling herself that it’s on the way to school anyway. It is.

She pulls up and Jan is sat on the porch steps in a pastel pink denim miniskirt and a glittery letterman jacket. She skips to the car and slides onto the front seat with a telltale squeak of bare legs on leather, throwing her bag onto the backseat in a way that still makes Jackie cringe even after two weeks. She smells of lemongrass and vanilla.

The blonde giggles and Jackie catches her mouth curving up in the reverse mirror, so she lets Jan pick the music and just focuses on the gear stick and anything else in her control.

She watches as the blonde sways to Fifteen by Taylor Swift, belting out the lyrics like she can feel them in her soul. They’re sophomores but they were freshmen last year and to be honest, from what she knows of Jan, she wouldn’t be surprised if that was her life.

They pull into the school parking lot to the sounds of Fearless and even Jackie cracks a smile at the way Jan is beaming. They have five minutes before they need to be in school and Jackie averts her eyes as Jan twists awkwardly to grab her bag from where it ended up on the floor, skirt riding up so the brunette can see the plum lace of her panties. She gulps and pulls out her well worn copy of Little Women instead. Not watching as Jan quickly reviews her AP Biology textbook.

“Thanks Jackie! You’re the best,” Jan calls as she slams the rickety car door on the third attempt.

“Anytime Jan.” And Jackie finds she means it.

You pick me up and take me home again

Head out the window again

We’re hollow like the bottles that we drain

0 1 2 5 - 0 7 - 1 7 - 2 0 0 9

Jackie’s phone vibrates under her pillow at one in the morning on a friday. They’ve been on summer break for a month and Jackie hasn’t really done much but she’ll admit she’s missed Jan. Until she woke her up that is.

She answers it with a defeated sign, tugging on her oversized Van Halen t-shirt until it feels decent even though no one is going to look into her tiny bedroom. The light filters through the window in a way that makes it feel like she’s in a weird horror film and she remembers why this is called the witching hour.

“Come over Jack, I’m bored,” comes the whine from down the phone and Jackie has to stifle a laugh even though she knows how much trouble she could get in for this. She sighs. She can’t really argue - doesn’t want to. She’s always been called boring. She doesn’t want to be anymore.

“I’m coming Jan, gimme five.”

She tugs on an oversized jacket and pulls a pair of gym shorts under her shirt, grabbing the running trainers from the bottom of her closet and spritzing a couple of squirts of sandalwood and shea from her almost empty perfume bottle. When she’s pretty sure she looks okay, she pushes up her window and thanks the gods she’s over the porch. It’s well structured and surprisingly easy to climb both up and down (her brother proved it to her last week) and she slides the window shut behind her as she shimmies down stained wood into the crisp summer night.

It’s not cold and the summer moon means it’s not dark either so she manages the walk quite calmly, feeling a freedom she sometimes forgets she has.

Jan’s sat on her porch steps in a pair of grey joggers and a black sports bra, draped in a tartan blanket and with what is unmistakably a bottle of wine gripped between her thighs.

They don’t actually talk for a while, just pass the bottle between themselves taking swigs of it like it’s water until Jan is giggling at a sparrow - the moon making her blonde hair glow in a way Jackie deems completely unfair. She’s ethereal, godlike in this light and Jan wants to tuck some of the escaped strands back behind her ear so she can watch the shadow in the curve of her upper lip.

She wants them to talk about boys, or talk about girls - to delve into who they are because surely that’s how you should spend wine time at two a.m but the wine is all gone and Jan’s cheek is soft on Jackie’s padded shoulder and somehow their fingers intertwine.

She starts humming something under her breath, something old - a song her dad used to sing her to help her sleep and Jan tugs at her hand to make her sing it louder until Jackie is serenading the sleepy neighbourhood with Mama Cass.

She shakes Jan awake just after four as the sun rises down the wide street. Their knees are stiff but Jan stands up, tugging Jackie by the hands into a hug. She’s not sure what it’s for but it’s welcomed and when Jackie clambers back through her window she can smell vanilla.

You drape your wrists over the steering wheel

Pulses can drive from here

We might be hollow, but we’re brave

0 5 0 2 - 0 1 - 0 1 -2 0 1 0

She’s clad in a hoodie and leggings when she pulls up to the big house. The party she was at finished hours ago but she’s told Jan to text her if she needed her and apparently she needs her so she’d put the heating on full blast and grabbed a blanket out of the trunk to wrap the smaller girl in when she came out.

She watches as she walks carefully out of the house, feet bare and stiletto heels in her hands. Jan slides into the front seat quietly. She carefully drops the heels into the foot-well and puts an awful lot of effort into fastening her seat-belt just right until she looks up at Jackie and something snaps.

Her eyes are red and raw and her lipstick is smudged across her chin and she looks so tired Jackie wants to bundle her up, hold her close and never let her go. But she doesn’t.

She places one hand in her lap and drives calmly to an empty house down the road, pulling into the drive and turning the engine off.

Jan is gripping her hand like a lifeline, clammy fingers twisted around soft flesh. In the light of the streetlamp, there are scratched on Jan’s bare thighs and Jackie gulps on reflex - choking back something that could have been a retch if what she’s thinking is true.

She takes a second to compose herself, brushing through Jan’s hair with her free hand. “You okay baby?” She asks quiet and still - trying to keep the situation as tranquil as she can.

Jan takes a huge snotty inhale, broken by sobs, and shakes her head. She tries to speak but she isn’t breathing enough to form words and all that’s coming out is a choked whimper.

“Hey, Jan honey, you’re safe,” she murmurs, “look at me babe.” She repeats it until the blonde will look her in the eyes, her cerulean orbs pooling. “Can I touch you?” Jackie asks, her tone soothing, and Jan nods slowly.

Jackie places a cool hand on her shoulder and feels the sticky sweat against her dry skin. The smell of cheap vodka, beer and mens cologne is filling the car and it makes her feel sick. She’s not a partier or a massive drinker but by the smell alone she doesn’t understand the appeal. She moves quickly, whipping her head around as she remembers the water bottle she keeps in the door. She places it in Jan’s lap and gently coaxes her to take a sip.

After a little while longer Jan rolls her shoulders back and squeezes Jackie’s hand appreciatively. She nods to herself while trying to find her words and Jackie rubs slow circles on her back.

“It, it was twelve and everyone was cheering,“ she starts, slowly, methodically. "And he- he wanted a kiss, which was fine because everyone was kissing and I’d joked last week that I’d kiss him so it was okay,” She pauses, justifying things that don’t need justifying, setting off alarm bells in Jackie’s head to the point where she’s mentally screaming and the story hasn’t even begun.

“But then,” she continues after a sip of water, “at like three, he pulled me aside while Jaida and Gigi were dancing and asked me for a kiss and I said yes because it seemed like the right thing to do.” She’s got silent tears running down her face again and Jackie wants to tell her she doesn’t have to keep going but she’s frozen in place. “But then it, it took a while and he took my hand and he put it down his trousers and he started kissing down my neck.” The words aren’t given tone anymore. They’re cold hard statements of fact that are rattling through Jackie’s ribs, making her fight every urge she has to vomit because Jan’s become her best friend.

“And I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t like him like that and I just wanted a fun kiss. But he made me touch him and I didn’t want that at all.” Jan starts to shake so Jackie pulls the blanket back over her, Keeping one steadying hand on her knee - steadying for the both of them. “So I pulled away and he called me a whore and then I trapped myself in a bedroom and then I texted you and it was awful Jackie. It was terrible and the worst part was I just wanted you.” She sobs openly but the tears run clear now - the mascara washed off her face and she seems lighter and that’s all Jackie could ask for.

“You are so brave Jan,” Jackie says with as much confidence as she can muster. “You are so brave and that man is a coward and a dick if he thinks he can do that to a woman and you are the strongest person I know, don’t you forget that.” She leans her forehead on the side of the blonde’s head and sighs.

“I’m so sorry baby."

“Me too,” Jan murmurs. “Me too.”

I love these roads where the houses don’t change (and I like you)

2 2 5 6 - 0 5 - 2 2 - 2 0 1 0

“Oh God, Oh God, Oh God,” mutters Jackie, knees bouncing, clammy palms on the leather seats.

They’re racing down the empty street, lamps flickering as they pass. If it was any lighter, neighbourhood watch would have caught them out by now because this is almost certainly not within legal speed limits for the suburbs. Jan passes house after house as they try frantically to make it for Jackie’s eleven pm curfew, the wind low and whistling as it cuts the car. They know the stakes.

Jackie’s face has turned a pale shade of white in fear of the reaction she will face, scraping in just under the time agreed. How her mother will react to Jan driving the family car back home, kissing her gently on the cheek and walking two streets to her own home.

They pull up at ten fifty-nine and Jan almost bursts into tears.

“See you tomorrow?” She asks softly, wistfully.

“Yeah,” Jackie exhales, tomorrow.

Where we can talk like there’s something to say (and I like you)

2 3 5 8 - 1 2 - 3 1 - 2 0 1 0

Jan makes Jackie pull over when she notices the time. They’re both too drunk to be driving and too sober to be alone and they’ve got the windows down as the sea breeze tunnels through the car. It smells of sunsets and saltwater and ice cream sundaes and Jackie’s hair and Jan is hooked.

The old car clock ticks quietly above the hum of the engine and the barely-there sound of the waves and Jackie finds pleasure in watching Jan’s eyes fixate on the hand. It swings around, red against the clock face.

Jan catches her staring and her eyes burn blue into Jackie’s deep brown. It’s a cold night but they’ve both pulled the blankets from the back seat and suddenly the blonde is aware of how small the vehicle is because there is not enough room between their faces and-

Their lips touch. Spark. Flicker. Ignite.

And then she’s warm and intoxicated and just a little bit in love but she thinks the dopey smile suits her - heads lolled back on the headrests, hands intertwined.

I’m glad that we stopped kissing the tar on the highway (and I like you)

1 6 2 4 - 0 2 - 1 4 - 2 0 1 1

Jackie drives them to the beach at sunset. They sit in the boot of the car on a picnic blanket in a parking spot that overlooks the crashing waves and it’s an illusion of stillness Jackie struggles to find anywhere else.

They hold hands because no one can see them - drink a bottle of champagne stolen from Jan’s Mom’s wine fridge. The blonde is bundled up in Jackie’s chunky knit cardigan and she looks warm and cosy and just a little bit like home.

“Hold me,” Jan asks, with eyes like saucers and a tone rolling in sugar. Jackie blinks slowly - capturing the image of her girlfriend in this moment before reaching to pull her into her arms. They don’t have much room but Jan somehow manages to straddle her - a hand on each cheek as Jackie grips her hips. The brunette bites her own lip softly and suddenly their mouths are pressed together and she’s not sure if it’s the sea air, the girl or a little bit of both but it tastes like magic and she doesn’t ever want to let it go.

“I love you,” she exhales into her hair - just above her ear.

“I love you more,” Jan whispers onto her collarbone.

“Sure Jan,” Jackie giggles, pulling Jan closer, burying her face into her hair. “Happy Valentine’s day baby.”

We move in the tree streets

0 8 3 5 - 0 8 - 2 8 - 2 0 1 1

“We’re only gonna be four hours away,” Jan mumbles, fingers finding Jackie’s with ease. “Why does that feel like the whole universe?”

They’re sat on Jan’s front steps - she has to leave in an hour if she’s going to make it to NYU for move-in but she’s not quite sure how to put one foot in front of another. Her life is packed up in boxes behind her but her world is holding her hand.

“Four hours baby. That’s all,” Jackie coaxes, “we can do it.” She says it with so much confidence but her bottom lip is trembling frantically. She got a place at Penn State and she’s happy. It’s what she wants - to be away from her family - to grow. Unfortunately that means being away from Jan too.

“Will we make it?” Jan asks - and it’s so earnest it breaks Jackie’s heart.

“Yes.” Jackie says. And this time her lip is still.

I’d like it if you stayed.

#rpdr fanfiction #jackie cox #jan sport #jankie #lesbian au #coming of age #song fic #fluff #s12 #pinkgrapefruit #tw noncon with unnamed side character #tw mild panic attack #still fluffy though #jackie comes from a strict household #jan reads shakespeare #hi i hate trying to make sense of your fucking tags. -v

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sweetiejunie · 4 years

Text

The last day of summer

Pt2

Summary: you spent the last days of summer with your best friends. Oh, and your crush was there too

Genre: fluff

Taehyun x reader

Pt 1

=====================================

“So i guess it’s you and me.” He gave you a small smile as he sensed your hesitation in sharing a room with him.

“It would seem so,” you replied in your most non-panicky voice you could.

“Well, shall we?” Gesturing for you to enter before him, holding the door open for you like a real gentlemen.

You both grabbed your luggage from the doorway and headed upstairs to the bedrooms. It was then you noticed that the room the other boys left for you was the only room at the opposite end of the hallway, a fair distance away from the other two rooms.

‘Those little assholes’ you cursed at them mentally. Of course, taehyun didn’t think anything of it, not knowing the entire situation. Ignorance really is bliss isnt it? But was taehyun as ignorant as you thought he was?

—

Opening the door to the room, immediately the first thing you noticed was that there was only one bed. It was the master bedroom afterall.

“You know, if you’re uncomfortable sharing a bed, i could always go crash on the couch. It’s completely fine,” taehyun stated with a small laugh when he sensed your shocked.

“Don’t be ridiculous! I can’t make you do that. I don’t mind sharing a bed, unless you do,” the last part coming out sounding more like a question than a statement.

“Oh. Well i dont mind either.”

“Great!” You would be lying if you said there wasn’t a part of you that was kind of happy getting to share a room, hell, a bed with Taehyun.

The last 2 days spent with your friends had been amazing. You had done everything you could possibly imagine. From chilling on the porch to daring each other to jump into the lake. Even soobin was dared to, and the poor boy didn’t even know how to swim.

It was such a fun time but all good things had to come to an end. It was the final night you had at the lake house and Kai proposed it was the perfect time to sit around a camp fire, to which you all agreed.

Through the days, even though the boys had thrown you and taehyun in the same room, nothing much happened between you two. Taehyun treated you the way he always had, he never said anything too out of the ordinary. At most you could say your relationship with him as friends got stronger, but that was it. Friends.

By this point the only reasoning you had was that he simply wasn’t interested in you. It stung knowing that but at least now you had your answer.

“The forecast says it might rain tonight though,” Beomgyu said, pointing to the weather prediction on his phone.

“It’s alright, we could do it on the porch. Just be careful not to light the actual porch on fire,” you replied, giving taehyun a soft smile which he returned.

“Great! I’ll go get the marshmallows and crackers!” Soobin announced, running into the house, bringing beomgyu with him while yeonjun and Kai were figuring out how to work the lighter.

With nothing much left to help with, you decided to sit on the porch swing, crossing your legs, staring at the sky. For some reason there weren’t many stars tonight but the way the moon shined and how to edges of the clouds glowed with the moonlight was enough to keep you occupied.

You felt the swing slightly move as someone took a seat next to you, “what you thinking about?”

Knowing the voice could only belong to taehyung, turning to them you replied, “nothing, the sky just looks so nice tonight.”

He hummed a response as you both stared into each ither eyes. At that moment, it felt as if all the stars in the sky were trapped in taehyun’s eyes. All of a sudden the moment was ruined and your attention was turned to a yelling Kai.

“Can this damn piece of wood just stay lit for like 2 seconds?!?!?!”

Throwing the piece of wood on the floor, hands pulling at his hair in frustration. Yeonjun next to him, head on his knees looking as if he had already given up a while ago. You laughed at their childish manner, standing up to go help them. You felt a pair of eyes on your back as you walked over, but thought nothing of it.

“Here, let me try,” you said, holding out your hand for the lighter.

With a few clicks, you started a small fire, gently blowing and waited for it to spread. Yeonjun and Kai glaring at you the entire time.

“See? It’s not that hard!” You claimed, turning to the two defeated boys.

“Shut up,” they grumbles in unison, causing you laugh endearingly.

“We’re back!” Soobin announced their return.

To be completely honest, you hadn’t even noticed how long beomgyu and soobin had been gone. In soobin’s arms were a few bags of chips and other snack.

Everyone cracked up when poor beomgyu behind him came into view, barely managing to carry all the pillows and blankets soobin threw to him. Soobin stared at all of you in confusion, unaware of what he had done.

“Stop laughing, someone come help me!” Beomgyu snapped, startling soobin, who probably forgot beomgyu was behind him, voice muffled by the all the layers.

Immediately throwing the snacks onto the ourdoor couch, soobin grabbed a few pillows and blankets, putting them down as the rest of you took a seat around the fire.

—————————— time skip ———————————

It was now past the witching house and through the night, you had reminisced about all the good times you had together, making you feel extremely nostalgic. You knew once the summer ended you wouldnt be able to see them as often anymore. The occasions where it will be all six of you together would be rare.

That was the only part you hates about being friends with them, but the good things always made up for it. The thought of not being able to see them as much made you sad. On the other hand, it also made you cherish the time you had left with them.

“Alright, i think it’s time i call it a night,” soobin yawned, gesturing to the sleeping Kai on his shoulder.

“I think so too,” beomgyu agreed, walking over to Kai, lightly shaking him to wake up.

“You guys go ahead. I think I’ll stay out here for a while more, I’m not that tired yet,” you had too much on your mind to go to bed.

The boys nodded in acknowledgement, grabbing their pillows and blankets, heading for their rooms. You stood up, moving to sit on the porch couch instead.

As soon as the door closed, you let out a sigh, legs to your chest, chin resting on your knees. Staring at the flame that burned brightly in front of you as it lit the, otherwise pitch black, porch.

The summer was always such a bittersweet time for you. On one hand you got to see your friends but more importantly, you got to see taehyun. On the other, you knew that you would hardly meet once it ended.

All of a sudden, you heard the door open again, interrupting your train of thought.

“Are you okay? You look sad. It’s pretty late and i figured it wasn’t that safe for you to be out here alone.”

Looking up, it was non other than taehyun. Of course it had to be him.

“But i could always go back in if you want to be alone,” he added, slowly sliding the door close again.

“No! It’s okay, i could use the company,” you said before your mind could even process what was happening. Did you just invite taehyun to stay out with you? Alone? How did that even happen.

Taehyun took a seat next to you, staring at the fire, watching as the wood slowly burned away into ash.

“You know, i feel like a wasted my entire summer,” taehyun suddenly admitted, breaking the comfortable silence.

You looked at him with a confused look, tilting your head slightly, “why is that?”

Taehyun copied your actions, making you giggle.

“Well, it’s almost the end of the summer and at first i thought I wouldn’t have to spend it alone this time. But guess i was wrong,” he let out nonchalantly, followed by a dry laugh, turning his attention back to the fire, you doing the same.

“So like a summer fling?”

“No, not a fling. There’s this girl i like, hyungs have been bothering me about it a lot actually,” scratching to back of his beck, embarrassed to admit that.

“I wanted to confess at the beginning of summer but I couldn’t. Then as the summer continued, i saw how happy she was around other people and i just figured she didn’t like me back,” he confessed, mood turning completely depressed.

You didn’t know what to reply. It hurt knowing he liked someone else. It would make senses and as if on cue, it started to rain.

“Hm, i guess beomgyu was right,” he stated, looking out to the sky.

“Yeah.”

There was silence again, the only sounds around you were the popping of the fire and the rain as it hit the roof of the porch. A million thoughts ran through your head. You didn’t want to spend this summer alone either, but now i guess all your other summers would be soent alone as well. The boy you had a crush on liked someone else. Typical, just your luck.

You shivered as you felt the temperature drop. Taehyun noticed and grabbed the last blanket from beside him, draping it over your shoulders. You looked down, trying to hide the fact that his simple action could make you as flustered as you were.

“Here, you’re cold right,” he gave you an endearing smile.

“What about you?”

“It’s cold but I’ll be alright.”

“We can share, the blanket’s big enough for the both of us,” you argued, not wanting him to catch a cold.

He simply nodded. You felt your heartbeat race as you felt him move closer to you, picking up on side of the cloth, wrapping it around him. His other arm around the back of the chair, in other words around you.

There was a slight awkwardness at first and even though it was hard to tell, you swore you noticed taehyun blushing. You both didn’t dare to move at first.

Little did you know yeonjun and soobin were creeping from inside the house. Watching you two through the door, hiding behind a plant, which really couldn’t hide them as much as they thought it did. If either you or taehyun turned to look in the house you could have easily spotted them.

“This is painful to watch. We should just ask them to go to bed,” yeonjun groaned, wanting to walk out there and put an end to it.

“No, no. Give them more time,” soobin replied, placing a hand on yeonjun’s shoulder, stopping his actions.

“You know you always have next summer to confess. You never know her answer till you try,” you suddenly said.

“I guess you’re right,” he replied looking you in the eyes, giving you a reassuring smile that he was alright.

The conversation continued on for a while before it was silent again. A confortable silence as you both started to relax more as you got used to the closeness.

After a while more, taehyun started humming to the tune of, what you presumed to be, hug me by joonil jung. You always loved hearing taehyun sing. He was an amazing singer, and even if he didn’t want to admit it, you knew he was great.

Halfway through the song you felt your eyelids get heavier and before you knew it, your head was on taehyun’s shoulder.

Right as you fell asleep you heard taehyun whisper something before resting his head on yours.

“Next summer, you’ll be by my side like this everyday...”

Did you hear that correctly? Well, i guess now you’ll just have to wait till next summer to find out.

A smiling, giggly yeonjun and soobin inside celebrating, high fiving each other as you and taehyun slept through the night in each other’s embrace. On the porch, sitting in front of a fire, sharing a blanket with the boy you adored.

=====================================

Finally found the time to finish this. Then ending isnt as good as i would have liked but nonetheless i still like it and hope you do too!

#txt imagine #cute #txt fluff #txt ff #txt fanfic #txt au #txt post #txt scenarios #txt taehyun #taehyun ff #taehyun fluff #taehyun imagines #taehyun fanfic #taehyun scenarios #kang taehyun

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ignis-scientia-estrogen-brigade · 5 years

Text

~ISEB in Japan: A Photo Journal~

If you’ve been following me on Twitter lately, you’ll know that I’ve been traveling through parts of Japan the last couple of weeks with my Ignis Play Arts Kai figure in tow. I posted a few pictures over there during the duration of my trip, but those barely scratched the surface of everything I got to do while in Japan. So I thought I’d put together a blog post of my journey while it was still fresh in my mind, featuring everyone’s favorite strategist in what I’ve been dubbing my Great Final Fantasy XV Adventure of 2019!

[Image-heavy content + commentary under the cut]

A brief backstory: I’ve wanted to go to Japan my entire adult life. For years, I’ve watched friends make the trek while I’ve been stuck at home with a severe case of FOMO. The only thing that ever stopped me from going was money (or a lack thereof), so I made the decision last summer to buckle down and sock away every dime I made to make it happen. My only concern before hopping on the plane was that I had missed the wave of FFXV popularity by about a year, but I would quickly learn that—other than not getting to eat any of Ignis’ recipes at the Square Enix Cafe—I had little to worry about.

Literally the only reason I brought my Play Arts Kai figure was so I could take this picture of Ignis at the Citadel (a.k.a. the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building), which was the very first place I stopped at on my first full day in Tokyo. The building + the surrounding plaza, while not 100% accurate, is a fairly impressive facsimile of the one in the game. It’s located in Shinjuku, which also boasts a lot of similarities to Insomnia. Having finished Episode Ardyn mere hours before jetting off on my trip, it felt like I had stepped off the plane and right into the game!

There just so happened to be an Animate right near the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building, so I popped in to get a feel for what kind of FFXV merch I’d be able to find two years after the game’s release and a year after its height of popularity. Turns out, there was quite a lot of swag to be found! Truth be told, I’ve never been one to chase down official merchandise (unfortunately my job doesn’t really afford that luxury), but I gave myself special permission while on vacation to buy anything I wanted. So I did! Including everything you see above. ^^;;

The next thing I did was take the train to Ginza to meet Lyle/@landscape-gonna (@landscape_gonna on Twitter), and I simply cannot say enough nice things about her. If you don’t know who she is, there’s a 99.9% chance you’ve seen at least one of her Ignis costumes, and they are A. M. A. Z. I. N. G. We had chatted a bit previously on Twitter before I went full-on stan mode, asking her if she'd be willing to meet up with me (a total stranger) to have lunch and talk Ignis and Final Fantasy. Not only did she say yes, but she gifted me with copies of her incredible cosplay zines and was not the least embarrassed when I busted out my Play Kai Arts figure in the middle of a busy Japanese dessert restaurant haha.

See? Zero embarrassment here.

We even did Noct’s ultimate pose! In public!

I can’t begin to articulate how special meeting Lyle was for me—being brought together from opposite sides of the world to share in our love for Ignis/FFXV is a memory I will cherish my entire life. So Lyle, if you are reading this: どうもありがとうございます ! ٩( ᐛ )( ᐖ )۶

Lyle wasn't the only friend I had in Japan. Another friend of mine, Asuka (who happens to be well-versed in anime/video game culture), volunteered to be my guide through Ikebukuro/Otome Road the next day. Quick otaku lesson: Kbooks is a chain of stores that specializes in the resale of licensed merchandise. For example, if you missed out on some of the limited availability items from the Movic and the Square Enix Cafe collaborations, you might be able to find them at a Kbooks. Otome Road in particular has something like seven different Kbook shops in a 3-block radius, each one specializing in different products (sports anime, idols, cosplay, etc). I, of course, beelined for the video game shop...

...which is where I found this fucking thing:

I’m not gonna lie, I almost bought it. I just didn’t know what I would do with it besides scare the living daylights out of people when they least expected it lol.

Yoooo Adam I found ya boi in Ikebukuro

We popped into the cosplay Kbooks shop since it was right across the street and I found an Ignis costume for sale! Please enjoy this picture of me pretending to come up with a new recipeh (since this is likely the closest I’ll ever come to cosplaying as Ignis).

One of the things Asuka introduced me to was Hanami (picnic under the cherry blossoms, basically). I had timed my trip to coincide with the blooming of the sakura, and the experience of being in Japan during that time was indescribable. I took a bajillion pictures of the sakura while I was there and unfortunately none of my photos ever quite captured the beauty and magic of them in person, but here’s a lil’ pic of a tree in bloom at Yoyogi Park (with the Movic Ignis charm I bought at Kbooks earlier that day).

Another item on my Japan checklist was to stay at a ryokan (traditional Japanese inn) in Hakone, a town famous for its onsen/hot springs. Nothing in Hakone is cheap (at least, not during peak sakura season), and I had spent an absurd amount of money on a night at one particular ryokan with a private bath (shy husband haha). The private bath could only be reserved in 30-minute increments, and by the time we finally rolled into Hakone the bath we wanted only had one slot available for the rest of the night. So what did I do?

If you said, “Waste the first 15 minutes of your 30-minute, super-expensive onsen experience taking the perfect Ignis-in-a-hot-springs photo” then you would be absolutely correct lol.

I actually wasn’t planning on taking a bunch of photos of my Ignis figure on this trip, but after my husband tucked Ignis into my futon while I was in the bathroom, documenting my trip vicariously through Ignis ended up taking on a life of its own. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I popped back over to Tokyo after my stay in Hakone, which is when I finally got to make the Great Nerd Pilgrimage™ to the Square Enix Cafe! Had the FFXV collab been going on while I was there, I might’ve forked over the cash to eat at the cafe, but I opted to skip out on lunch so I could spend more money in their shop. They still had a small collection of FFXV merch...

...including this acrylic Ignis stand that I wanted but thought I would never own after failing to find it at Kbooks earlier in the week. Huzzah!

Also, I just feel the need to let everyone know that this is what the outside of the Square Enix Cafe in Tokyo looks like lmao.

Our next stop was Kyoto, which we arrived in on Gladio’s birthday (April 2nd). Unfortunately I didn’t have time to draw anything for his b-day, but we did stop for a Nissin Cup Noodle in honor of Gladio!

One of the most memorable moments of my trip was when this boating incident happened, and it requires a little bit of backstory. On my first full day in Kyoto, I attempted to field two of the most popular tourist destinations in Kyoto: the bamboo forest in Arashiyama, and the Fushimi Inari Shrine. Both places have their beauty and historical significance, and I suspect during the off-season are inspiring sites to behold. In my case, both places were absolutely swarming with tourists, which really put a damper on my enjoyment of them. Defeated, I followed a local canal back toward my hotel, which is where I spotted a miniature boat enthusiast controlling a boat that looked eerily similar to the Royal Vessel. I pulled my Ignis figure out with the intention of simply taking a photo of the boat in the background; when the man saw me holding my figure and fumbling with my phone, he flagged me over and gestured for me to put Ignis in the boat. I wish I had documented how it all went down a little better, but as I was literally wheezing with laughter, the above was the best I could capture.

One of the more off-the-cuff decision I made was to dress in kimono for a day while in Gion (Kyoto). As the cherry blossoms were at their height during my stay there, you couldn’t sneeze without hitting someone who was dressed traditionally for the numerous festivals that were taking place throughout the city. As a white foreigner, I initially had reservations about wearing a kimono (for fear of cultural appropriation), but I did everything I could to be as respectful and reverent whilst wearing the garb (and the rental shop was certainly happy for the patronage). It was an amazing experience and I would definitely do it again!

Speaking of being respectful, I made it a point not to take pictures of Ignis while visiting any shrines (because nothing screams ‘douchey American’ quite like whipping out an action figure on sacred grounds), hence why I don’t have pictures of any of the major shrines we visited in this post. I did, however, spot this miniature shrine arch in an alleyway, and thought it would be okay for my equally miniature strategist to pay his respects.

Literally, a tiny shrine in an alleyway. I suppose even alleys have their deities!

Osaka is about 20 minutes away from Kyoto by train, and since I had already traveled all the way out to Kyoto, I went the extra few miles to stop by the Square Enix Cafe in Osaka. They actually had a smaller selection of FFXV merch than the one in Tokyo and I didn’t end up buying anything, but I would’ve never stopped wondering if I had missed out on something if I hadn’t gone and seen it for myself!

My last day in Kyoto was a week into my trip, and I still had five days left to go. After walking ~10 miles every day (no joke, I have the GPS screenshots to prove it!), I was really starting to feel the grind. I’m sure Ignis was also desperate for an Ebony after being lugged around in the bottom of my purse for a week lol.

Back on the Shinkansen (bullet train) to Tokyo!

Weeeeeee (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

Said hi to Fuji-san!

Stopped for a delicious matcha parfait! (Shout-out to my husband who never once got annoyed with me whenever I busted out my figure in public spaces lol)

This was without a doubt the craziest and most unexpected find of any of my merch runs. I had gone to the video game Kbooks in Ikebukuro earlier in the week and had sifted through all their Ignis merch with a fine-toothed comb. This particular Movic charm was one I had been on the lookout for, but it was a rare pull even when they were readily available a year ago, and the only Ignis charm I came across in my first trip to Kbooks was the normal Ignis one (see my Hanami pic). I had no real reason to return to Ikebukuro after I got back from Kyoto, but on a whim I went one last time and BAM—this guy was hanging out there in his lil’ baggie, just waiting for me to get my grubby little hands on him. Jackpot!

All in all, I spent way too much money and I couldn’t be happier for it. The only thing I couldn’t find for the life of me was the Ignis cologne by Movic, but after searching through several Animates and Kbooks, I began to suspect it might be an online-exclusive item that wasn’t available in stores. (Which was probably a good thing for me cause I was already stretching my budget to the limit by this point haha.)

On my last night in Japan, I went back to the Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building—only this time I went at night when it was all lit up! I also went up to the observation deck on the 45th floor (something I didn’t know you could do the first time I was there) and enjoyed a fantastic view of nighttime Insomnia Tokyo. It was the perfect bookend to a perfect trip, and my heart is absolutely overflowing right now with love for both Japan and Final Fantasy XV!

#final fantasy xv #ignis scientia #ffxv

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you-get-to-exhale-now-cyrus · 5 years

Text

Cyrus’ Dictionary

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || 13 || 14 || 15 || 16 || 17 || 18 || 19

Summary: Cyrus has always been good with words; there’s a reason English is his favorite subject. But with TJ, he seems to be at a loss for words. When they get paired up for a summer assignment, Cyrus slowly starts to build a new dictionary. One that involves TJ and everything they do together. Along the way, maybe he’ll find the words to tell him how he feels.

Chapter 19: Verklempt

Word Count: 3134

Read on AO3

Game day. The energy was contagious, and everyone was pumped to watch Buffy play. Especially Marty.

“Oh, dude, it’s going to be so great!” he exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air, “I’m so excited,” he noted, as they walked towards the building, their friends behind them.

“Isn’t it weird that we were all partners for this journalism assignment, and we, like, got together,” Amber pointed out, stealing a quick glance at Andi.

“I think this project, just like, brought us closer,” Jonah piped up, a soft smile on his face.

“I really liked it, like a lot. Definitely want to go into journalism now,” Cyrus confirmed. He couldn’t even imagine dropping the class like he’d previously said.

“Why? So you can write ‘I love TJ’ over and over again and call that an article?” Amber teased, laughing at her own joke.

“Oh, c’mon, you love him too,” Cyrus countered, giving TJ’s hand a squeeze.

“Not as much as I love Andi,” she chuckled, linking arms with her girlfriend.

A chorus of ‘aw’s filled the air, and even the trees seemed to be happy, their leaves dancing in the gentle wind. TJ just rolled his eyes, mumbling something under his breath.

“She’s kidding, she loves you,” Cyrus assured him, “we all do,”

“I know,”

“Let’s go Buffy!” Marty shouted, sans megaphone. Cyrus had offered him one, but after hearing how loud he could really be, he decided that he didn’t need one.

TJ had brought the posters they made. Cyrus’ said ‘YOU CAN’T OUT TUFF THE BUFF’, while TJ’s said ‘SLAYER IS THE BEST PLAYER’. He was really happy with how they turned out, after having TJ write the words.

TJ took a look around. He didn’t recognize anyone there, save for Buffy. He supposed that was what happened when it was a summer team. New friends.

The game had barely started, and Cyrus was already on the edge of his seat. He’d put his sign down after a little while, considering his arms got tired, and reached over to take TJ’s hand. He never thought he’d get to have a simple moment like this. Even surrounded by all these people, it still felt like it was just him and TJ.

“Snacks, anyone? Get your snacks here,” a man shouted, carrying a platter that was strapped around his neck. There was an assortment of pretzels, cotton candy, lemonade, and other things to munch on.

“Yeah, over here!” TJ waved him over, eyeing the cotton candy.

The man stepped over a few people, nearly dropping a container of lemonade on the way there. Scooting through a few pairs of legs, he finally made his way towards TJ and Cyrus. “So what can I get-” he stopped, eyes hardening. Cyrus knitted his brows together, following his gaze. It appeared that he was looking at their hands, but he couldn’t tell.

“-I’m sorry, I can’t,” he shook his head, taking a step back. He looked like he was going to be sick, from what Cyrus could tell.

“Can’t what?” Cyrus asked, shouting over all the cheering.

“You guys are, you know. . .together,” he winced, wrinkling his nose.

“So?” Cyrus cut in, before TJ could even begin to say something. A few other nearby people had turned their heads.

“How can you be out in public like that? It’s gross,” he pointed out. Cyrus could feel TJ shrinking beside him, clearly uncomfortable. He gave his hand a gentle squeeze for reassurance, before turning back towards the snack man.

“You’re being rude and creating a scene,” Cyrus pointed out, “I don’t understand why you feel the need to come over her and bother us,”

“You’re the one who wanted me to come over,”

“For snacks!” Cyrus cried, shaking his head, “not for a lecture,”

“Well, what I said is true,” he insisted.

That was it; Cyrus had had it. He stood up, still holding TJ’s hand. “No it’s not. You have no idea how hurtful the things you say are. We’re just like everybody else, and I don’t know why that’s so hard for you to see,”

Then there was applause, and not just because someone had made a three-pointer. People were reaching over and patting Cyrus on the back, pointing up at the screens around the arena. Sure enough, Cyrus was on them, and people were freaking out. Most of all Cyrus.

TJ, however, had never felt prouder. He couldn’t believe that Cyrus had stood up for them like that. Scratch that. He knew Cyrus was brave, but he didn’t know he was this brave. He tugged on his hand a little, standing up and cupping his face with his free hand. Boy, he loved him so much. And without a second thought, he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. The cheering from the stadium and from the players made that moment all the more special. The man with the snacks mumbled something under his breath and walked away, people booing him off the stands.

When they pulled away, Cyrus was so giddy he didn’t know what to do with himself. He took a seat, trying to focus back onto the basketball game, which was already well into the first quarter. Buffy’s team was up by a few points, but it was close. A little too close for comfort.

By the time halftime was over, it was evident that this was going to be a tight game. The teams were tied, much to the dismay of all of Buffy’s friends. Marty was cheering so loud that he was definitely going to lose his voice come tomorrow, but he didn't care. Buffy was playing a great game, and if she was nervous, it sure didn’t show.

“Wait, why do they have to dribble? Why can’t they just run?” Andi muttered, her eyes darting around the court.

“It’s called traveling,” Amber supplied, “it’s against the rules.” She had to thank TJ for that one, always talking her ear off about basketball.

For once, Cyrus knew what was happening in a sport. Between Buffy and TJ, he could point out a good player from a bad one, knew what kind of technique was preferred, and was actually able to call out a bad ref when he saw one.

It felt like the game lasted a few seconds and forever all at the same time. Cyrus blinked, and all of a sudden, it was nearing the end of the fourth quarter. Buffy’s team was down by three points, and time was almost up. One of the girls went for a three-pointed, but someone from the other team shoved her. Miraculously, the ball made it through the basket.

“That’s a foul!” Cyrus cried from the stands, standing up with sudden force. TJ took his hand gently, trying to bring him back down to earth.

“They’re giving her the foul shot, relax, Underdog,” he chuckled, tugging him back down. Usually, TJ would jump at an opportunity to call out a ref on a terrible call, but he felt oddly calm. Yes, he wanted Buffy’s team to wind, but he supposed it was having Cyrus by his side that kept his emotions at bay.

The girl who was fouled, Kaitlin, walked up to the foul line, the sweat trickling down her face. Her breath was heavy, and she was exhausted, but she needed to make this. One shot, and they could win. Just one shot.

She dribbled the ball a few times, spinning it in her hand. After a breath of what one could only consider extreme focus, she launched the ball. Things seem to move in slow motion. It was as if a part of a CD was skipped because the next thing Cyrus knew, Buffy was screaming at the top of her lungs, along with the rest of her team. They’d won!

Cyrus turned to TJ, engulfing in a quick hug before bounding down the bleachers, and nearly tripping over people. Marty was the first one down, shoving people out of the way to get to Buffy and pull her into a hug. And maybe when he thought people were not looking he gave her a quick kiss.

“You did so well!” Cyrus squealed, pulling her into a hug.

“Thanks guys,” she beamed proudly, “the team’s going out to celebrate at Lucky’s. You guys wanna come?”

TJ shook his head. “Nah, this is your moment. You go celebrate with the team. We’ll catch up later,” he gave her a small wave, and Cyrus followed him out.

Marty quirked a brow. “I’m coming,” he announced, latching onto Buffy’s hand and following the team.

The rest of the gang found themselves at the Spoon, all sitting together and enjoying one another’s company. It had been an eventful day, and it was nice to be able to relax.

“I can’t believe we have to go back to school soon,” Jonah mumbled, playing with his napkin.

Amber looked at him funny. “It’s. . .the middle of July, Jonah,”

“I know,” he started, “but it’s just. . .it feels like we’re going to go back so soon. I don’t want summer to end,”

“Me neither,” Cyrus mumbled, peering up at TJ, before pulling out his journal from his pocket. He flipped to the back and copied down the words from his phone.

verklempt: feeling so overwhelmed with emotions

“You still keep that?” Andi asked, “I quit after the mandatory week,”

“I loved this assignment,” he noted, shutting the journal, “best thing that’s ever happened to me,”

TJ placed a hand over his chest, gasping dramatically. “How you wound me,”

Cyrus giggled, giving his arm a swat. “Oh shut up, you know I love you,”

“I know,”

September 1, 1989. Okay no, not really, but Cyrus was listening to Heathers while getting ready in the morning, which coincidentally happened to be September 1. He was bouncing with so much energy he omitted having coffee that morning.

[teej <33: im outside when you’re ready]

He smiled so widely at that. TJ had promised to give him rides to school, and honestly that was probably the best part of his day. Maybe even better than the journalism class itself. Hurrying out the door with a muffin in his hand, he awkwardly jogged to TJ’s car.

“Morning,” he greeted, tapping the steering wheel lightly, “how are you?”

Cyrus smiled, setting his bag down in his lap and shutting the door. “I’m so excited,” he squealed, reaching for his buckle.

TJ laughed, signaling to leave the driveway. “Really? You’re happy to go back to school? Summer was, like, the best,”

Cyrus nods, taking a bite of his muffin. “I know, but journalism class, TJ!”

TJ shook his head, backing out of the driveway and heading towards the school. “Yeah, I guess I’m looking forward to that too,”

“You guess,” he mumbled, staring out the window.

“Okay, but you’re not the one that has a crappy schedule,” TJ countered.

Cyrus shrugged. “But you’ll get to see me at the end of the day,” he pointed out.

TJ smiled, turning into the parking lot. “Yeah, there’s that,” he agreed, shutting off the engine. The two of them grabbed their belongings, and left the car. Cyrus glanced down at their hands, and took TJ’s in his.

“Is this okay?” he asked softly, as they paused in front of the doors.

TJ nodded, giving Cyrus’ hand a squeeze. “Of course,”

Most of the day was a blur, as was the first day of school. It felt like they were being herded around like sheep, and at some point, they reached the last period of the day. Cyrus had no idea how his feet dragged him to Mrs. Lorac’s classroom, but there he was, sitting in his chair with TJ beside him, and all his friends near him. He was really going to love this class.

“Alright, class,” she started, shutting the door, “take out your journals,”

Bags zipped open and people fished through their backpacks, pulling out their respective journals. The teacher walked around, skimming through the students’ journals, before placing them back on their desk. When she got to Cyrus’ and TJ’s, it almost looked like she was smiling at the pictures, and the progression of their story. Again, she placed them on the table, and started to walk back to her desk.

“You’re not going to grade them or collect them?” Cyrus asked.

She took a seat at her desk, propping her head up with her elbows. “I mean I’ll put in a grade that you did it, but the assignment was mostly for you, you know? I’m sure a lot of you had things happen that you didn’t expect because of this. Anyone?”

It was quiet for a moment, everybody waiting for someone else to make the first move. Amber sheepishly rose her hand, and the teacher nodded in her direction.

“I, uh, learned how to make crafts,” she supplied, looking to Andi for a moment, who offered a warm smile.

Jonah put his hand up next. “I came out to my mom,” he mumbled. It was quiet, but people caught on, a few of them applauding him and Walker patting him on the back.

“I got better at face painting,” Walker chuckled.

“I learned some sign language,” a girl piped up, signing as she spoke.

“Good, good!” the teacher said, a small smile on her face, “what about you, TJ? Cyrus?”

TJ smiled, ducking his head a little. “. . .what love is,”

Cue the chorus of ‘aws’. TJ ducked his head a little further, trying to hide his blush. There was so much he could say on what he learned, but he opter for keeping it simple.

“And you, Cyrus?”

“I. . gosh, where do I start,” he chuckled, “I think I learned,” he paused, glancing up at TJ, “how to be a better person. When to step in, when to back off,”

Mrs. Lorac seemed satisfied with his answer. “I’m glad you all got something out of this. Now for your first assignment, you need to report on a problem or issue here at school. It can be big, small, whatever you please. Due to me by the end of the week,”

She went on to explain the rules and expectations, but Cyrus could barely hear her. He was too engulfed in writing down his idea for the project; the school didn’t have a GSA, and Cyrus though that with one, all kids could feel welcomed and supported. Mrs. Lorac gave them the rest of the period to brainstorm what they wanted to write about for their project.

Too soon for Cyrus, the bell rang, signaling the end of the day. Everyone packed up their things, exhausted from the day of activities, and started to file out of the classroom. Cyrus and TJ walked together, but Cyrus stopped at Mrs. Lorac’s desk.

“What do people do with their journals? Since you’re not collecting them,” he asked.

She smiled, happy to answer. “A lot of things. Some keep the journal, some forget, naturally. I’ve seen some pretty cool art projects done with it. A couple people did a time capsule, some try and publish them, but that hasn’t worked out so far,” she chuckled to herself.

Cyrus lit up, a playful smile on his face. “Thanks Mrs. Lorac,” he said, walking out with TJ, who gave her a small wave. He started walking towards TJ’s car, a certain lightness in his step.

“What are you thinking about?” TJ chuckled, tossing his things in the trunk.

“You’ll see,” he said, hopping in the passenger’s seat.

“Remind me why I’m also getting out of the car at your house?” TJ asked, shutting his door as Cyrus dragged him along. He tugged him into the backyard and stopped all of a sudden, turning to face him.

“I wanna make a time capsule,” he said softly, “like what Mrs. Lorac said. So that years from now, I can look back and smile,”

TJ grinned, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “Alright, let’s do it,”

The two of them went up to Cyrus’ room and tried to find all the things they could to put in their time capsule, the container of which would be an old metal lunch box that Cyrus used to use. He snapped a picture of the words, not wanting to forget them. It was a little bittersweet, having to part with his journal for a while, but he knew that he would thank his past self. Inside, they placed their journals, a few pictures of them, including the one of them at the Christmas store, and a copy of the best muffin recipes ever.

TJ tapped his chin, eyeing the polaroid camera sitting on Cyrus’ desk. “It needs one more thing,” he decided, reaching over and grabbing the camera.

“Really? What?”

“This,” he murmured, leaning forward and planting a kiss on Cyrus’ lips, attempting to snap of a photo of it. It was silly and kind of childish, but hearing Cyrus giggling as he melted into the kiss was all he needed. Pulling back, he felt his cheeks flush, so he tried to focus on the picture that was coming out. Granted, it was a bit blurry, but he thought it was perfect nonetheless. Both boys signed their names on the back with a little heart, and placed it in the little box, shutting it with a click.

“Now we bury it?” TJ assumed, drumming his fingers on the box. Cyrus nodded, and the two of them headed into the backyard.

“I will let you do the shoveling,” Cyrus offered, handing him a shovel.

“Oh, how kind of you,” TJ chuckled, accepting the shovel and glancing around for a place to start digging, “is by that tree okay?” he asked, to which Cyrus nodded. The start of the process was difficult, trying to break through the ground, but from there, it wasn’t that bad. Yes, he was sweating and was breathing a little heavier, but it was totally worth it. Once he thought that he’d gotten deep enough, he let Cyrus place it gently into the hole before he covered it back with dirt, patting it firmly on the back.

“I kind of want to dig it up again,” Cyrus chuckled, pressing his body against TJ’s.

“That’s not the point of this, you know,” he smiled, resting his head on top of Cyrus’.

“Do you think someone’s going to find this someday?” Cyrus wondered aloud.

“I hope so,” he replied softly, shutting his eyes for a moment. Maybe someone would never find their time capsule. Maybe the two of them would be the only ones that know about it, but maybe they’d eventually forget. Maybe none of this would matter in a few years. But right now, it was everything. And that was just okay for them.

Tag List: @shortstackofpeaches || @seanna313 || @geekingbeautytx || @heavenlybyers || @ginnychrises|| @wlwandimack || @giocondasstuff || @lemonboytyrus || @adorejrizzle || @swingsetboys || @ifellintotyrushell || @idk-dude-17 || @rbf-lesbian || @marianara-sauce || @kaptainjinxz || @alex-poster-pizz || @quietmarvel || @blueberry-my-hero-macadamia || @broadwayitbitch || @tjsmuffin || @tjthekippen || @idpleasesir || @hi-hello-hey-there || @bingewatchingenthusiast|| @booklove-2 || @illbeyourreasonwhy || @birdiesandflowers || @whistlepunk || @phinallyjackie || @thedampjofangirl || @tyrus4eva || @tj-is-a-lemony-boy || @tj-goodman-bittersweet-boy || @dis-app-oin-tme-nt || @nessarinthegay || @breadisticks || @typewriter-riz || @gobletofash || @bluemuffinboy || @sofuuh || @cheesystars || @tjmuffin || @multifandom-bxitch || @allylovessadie || @hithatsmyname || @tyrusinarush || @tyrus-lookback || @gaycefulwords || @theobligatedklutz || @bambikippen ||

#andi mack #tyrus #tyrus fic #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #my fics #cyrus' dictionary #ambi #wonah #muffy

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peaches-of-1 · 6 years

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The College Crush ~ Chapter 1: Twisted Girl

Black!MC x E’Dawn

| Next >

Just a flash of red and brown, and E’Dawn couldn’t help but stare. His smile fell and it felt as though his world had stopped. Your hair was in twists and so was his stomach after seeing you. The other guys didn’t fail to notice their friend’s new infatuation with the girl who had just passed by.

“You think she’s cute, huh?”

He nodded and fell off the wall since he had been too occupied staring at the beautiful brown girl who had passed by to worry about his own safety. Hyojong just had to know one thing. Who were you?

[Two hours earlier...]

Hyojong woke up and stretched, turning off his phone alarm and almost forgetting he wasn’t living on campus this year. He was so used to seeing the cream colored walls, that his black painted ones surprised him. Yawning, he smacked his lips together and tasted last night’s sleep on his tongue. It tasted like spit.

“Good morning, Cheolsoo! Yeonghee, how was your sleep? Is Nari thirsty this morning?” He said cheerfully as he watered the growing sprouts on his windowsill before getting ready.

Skipping forward, Hyojong spit foamy toothpaste into the sink and wiped his face. Only as he double checked his freckled face did his roommate Hongseok came out of his room to do his morning routine.

Scratching his tummy, he said his usual greeting, “Mornin’”

“Sleep well?”

Hongseok nodded and yawned, splashing his face with cold water, “Ah, we’re meeting the guys at the brick wall outside the library today for lunch. Bring cash. Jinho says the card swipe thing got stolen over the summer.”

“Well fuck,” He pouted. “Ok.”

The be-speckled blonde beauty opened his closet and changed his bottoms to the black slacks required by the school that sported his grade’s color. He slipped on a white tank top after flexing in the mirror a bit. High white socks and black tennis shoes. They could have been any color, but Hyojong decided to keep it simple.

He’d put on his jacket last in case something spilled on his shirt and he had no time to change. Speaking of which. Breakfast. Nothing too big as he’d get coffee with his friends soon enough. Yuto was in the kitchen, toast waiting on the counter with jam and butter surrounding the green plate.

“I made two slices for everyone. Do whatever you want with them.”

The three waited for the last one to wake up as they ate in the living room and played a few video games. None of their classes were until 11am, and it was just now 9:23. Wooseok shuffled in his pajamas and drank some juice.

“Cute.” Hongseok smiled.

They talked about their classes and what they heard about their teachers until it was time to go. They buttoned up their gold buttons that shined brightly against the black fabric

“These look like Japanese high school outfits.”

“And here I thought I had gotten rid of these awful collars when I graduated.” Yuto looked at himself in the mirror. “Why are they trying to copy the uniform style?”

Hongseok shrugged, “Don’t know. But I don’t exactly hate it. You look adorable, Wooseok.”

Hyojong smiled, “He’s always adorable.”

“Oh, be quiet. These pants are so stupid. Why aren’t they full length?” The adorable one turned his ankle to emphasize the fact that it showed off his navy blue socks instead of covering them like regular pants.

“Fashion!” Yuto said. “I like that feature. Makes me feel young.”

“I feel like I’m cosplaying.” Hongseok laughed. “Anyways. Let’s go. We’ve got classes to get to, and it’s best not to be late on the first day.”

After their first classes, the boys met up where they had the past two years after making their rather large group of friends. There were ten of them in total, Jinho, Hui, Hongseok, E’Dawn, Shinwon, Yanan, Yeo One, Yuto, Kino, and Wooseok. Hyojong went by E’Dawn because he messed up creating his first semester schedule so badly that he had classes at the crack of dawn for a whole term.

Most of the others had regular nicknames. They always met for lunch outside the library since Jinho worked at the school cafe located on the library’s first floor and got off at the time. He always brought his friends food that was fresh but would be thrown out after his shift. It was ok as long as he didn’t get caught, and his boss didn’t tell on him.

Even in this large group, they talked about the new uniforms for guys. Every grade had its own color that they had to wear. Freshmen in red, Sophomores in green, Juniors in pink, and Seniors in blue. Yuto, Kino, and Wooseok wore red while Yeo One, Shinwon, and Yanan got green. Hui, E’Dawn, and Hongseok got to wear black this year and Jinho was the only one who wore blue.

The colors were on everyone’s Student IDs. For the guys, they had two sets of pants. One were plaid and whatever color they needed to be. The others were black with a colored stripe down each side. The color also showed up on their ties they wore for their alternate uniforms.As for girls, their skirts signified their current academic level. Although girls could wear pants, there was just social pressure that made skirts more common than not.

Hyojong had decided to wear his black pants today. He met Yuto and Wooseok during their summer orientation since Hyojong was their Orientation Leader. They mentioned not wanting live on campus but not wanting to stay with their parents and E’Dawn said he had two empty rooms in his apartment. They’ve been close ever since.

The guys were taking turns walking on the red brick wall in front of the library to see who could do it the fastest without falling. Hyojong fell and landed on his ass, making the others laugh. He laughed along with them until your red skirt caught his eye. Your legs were an earthy brown, and you wore high black socks in combat boots.

Looking at the rest of your body, he saw that you had on a blazer with red accents and a white dress shirt underneath, red ribbon tied under the colar. The messenger bag you held was an army green color and covered in all sorts of buttons. Some E’Dawn recognized since he was a fan of the shows and bands.

Your hair was natural and in a plethora of twists, but you didn’t really notice him among all the other handsome men. You just saw them as a group of men you had to pass by. It didn’t occur that one of them had been captivated by your presence. Then again, while you were trying to see if you were headed towards the right building, E’Dawn was trying to get a better view of you. He sat up from his first falling position, fingers hanging off the edge of the wall.

After you passed the group, you didn’t see your newest admirer fall to the ground after losing his balance since you were already inside the building and taking everything in. So this is what the inside of a Korean library looked like, you mused.

Hyojong scrambled to his feet and followed you. He just had to make sure that what he saw was human not a goddess made from his imagination as he currently believed you were. When he got inside, he saw a red skirt go around a corner. Your twists bounced with every step and suddenly stopped as you searched for the right room. Hyojong couldn’t help but reach out and touch your shoulder.

You turned around, “Yeah?” You spoke English.

He didn’t know a lot of English. Right now, he barely remembered any Korean as you two met eyes. Yours were such a dark brown, tunnels to another world. E’Dawn had to say something.

“Hi. I’m Kim Hyojong.” He bowed. “I help with new students. Are you lost?”

Having bowed when he did, you sighed and spoke Korean, “Yes, I’m lost. I’m looking for this classroom, but I don’t see this number anywhere.”

He loved the sound of your voice. You showed him the number, and E’Dawn saw the number written in both Hangul and Romanized alphabet.

“Ah, I’m guessing you didn’t get the email. That class is now upstairs in the computer lab.” He pointed upwards. “I can take you to it if you want.”

The way you smiled made his heart skip, “Could you, please?”

Hyojong smiled back, “Sure. Follow me. What’s your name, by the way?”

“I’m (Y/N), nice to meet you.” You gave a small bow and your twists trickled down your cheeks.

“Nice to meet you.”

There was no way he was going to tell you how easy it was to find the classroom since they were mostly glass walls and had the teacher’s name on the door. E’Dawn wanted to spend more time with you wanted to learn more about this beautiful black girl with a voice like the sea.

“Where you from?”

“I’m from North America. And before you ask, I learned Korean and moved here because of K-pop. Mostly the fashion aspect.”

He smiled, “Sounds about right with all the foreigners here. What’s your major?” E’Dawn asked as he opened the stairwell door for you.

“Thanks,” You grinned. “And I’m undecided at the moment. Just trying to get my general studies out the way and try a few things out before committing to a specific field just yet.”

“You’ll find your place here rather quickly. Um, let me see that paper one more time?”

You hands him the paper, and he took a pen out of his pocket to scribble something on it. He handed it back to you, and you noticed a few extra characters along the bottom.

“Wow” You heard a voice whisper.

Both of you turned your heads to see the stairwell door closing even though it should’ve already been shut after E’Dawn and you stepped out. You guys decided to ignore whatever it was.

“It’s my KTalk. You can message me if you have any questions. I hope you enjoy your class.” He opened the glass door leading to the largest computer room.

“Thanks. Hyojong-oppa?”

He wanted to clutch his chest as he was having a heart attack from how cute you were, calling him oppa. He almost forgot you were younger than him, but the red skirt was obvious. You were just very comfortable to be around that you didn’t feel younger. Must’ve been because you were American.

You took his reaction the wrong way, “Oh, sorry, I guess we’re not close enough for me to call you that yet.”

“No, no, no, no, no, no. It’s fine. You can call me oppa if you want.”

“Oh, that’s a relief! Thank you, oppa!”

Hyojong nodded, caught his breath, and put on a charming smile, “Yes. You’re welcome. I’ll see you around. Your Korean is very good.”

“Thank you! I’ll see you around.” You bowed to him and went inside.

He nodded back at you and let go of the door. Releasing the breath he didn’t even know he was holding, E’Dawn gave you one last glance and headed downstairs to rejoin his friends. However, as he opened the door that lead to the stairs he saw several of them standing on the landing.

“Hey, guys. What were you doing?”

They all looked at each other until Yeo One spoke, “Nothing, oppa~”

The others joined in teasing him about having the freshman girl call him oppa even though they had just met. Hyojong was a blushing mess, and nothing could hide it. The librarian shushed them and pointed outside.

Once outside, Jinho was the first to tell the other five, “She called him oppa and almost took it back, but he said it was ok. Dawnie’s got a crush~”

“So, is she Korean?”

E’Dawn shook his head, “American. Not sure which area. Her name is (Y/N).” He touched his cheeks, starting to blush even more. “She’s really cute.”

This was fun. Should I write more? I should. Five chapters. I’ll write five chapters of this with this one being the first.

#Pentagon #E'Dawn #Kim Hyojong #poc!reader #black!reader #female!reader #E'Dawn x Reader #Reader x E'Dawn #Hyojong x Reader #Reader x Hyojong #College!reader #College AU #College!AU #kpop #K-pop

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rainythefox · 6 years

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Deviant Heart (Detroit: Become Human Fanfic)

Chapter 4: Searching for Answers

"Wow…it's amazing how one place can change so much yet not really change at all," Kara said, her blue eyes scanning up and down the streets of bustling downtown Detroit.

"Told ya," Rose said with a little half-laugh.

Kara held Luther's hand while he carried Alice on his shoulders. Adam walked slightly ahead of them while Rose stayed pace with the androids. Kara, Luther, and Alice had helped the Chapmans with their farm earlier that morning, and came with them into the city to take care of a few things and see the sights.

To Kara, the city didn't seem as dark…as despondent as it was when she and Alice were on the run. The sunny, summer atmosphere helped with part of that, she was sure, culling away the memories of rainy and snowy nights in unfortunate predicaments. Part of it she could feel. Something in her wiring, her sensing modules that told her things were better. Far from perfect. But better.

It was aspiring to see so many androids walking around the streets, and not as obedient machines carrying shopping bags following their masters. These androids were in control of their own destination, making their own decisions, being their own master. Some walked while talking on phones like a normal human, some conversed with other androids and even humans while walking along to their objectives. There wasn't an android parking station in sight.

"There are good days and bad days, but…one day it will all be good. I just know it," Rose said optimistically, smiling as she looked around.

The suburban farmer wore a simple outfit today, jeans with a purple flannel shirt. Her son wore cargo shorts and a loose shirt. Kara sported jeans and a dark blue blouse. Alice wore shorts, sandals, and a striped tank top. Luther was always a simple man, wearing pants, boots, and a grey muscle tank top.

Besides the constant foot traffic, and the ever-invariable movement of vehicles on the road, downtown had a lot of flashing monitor screens and advertisements. The surrounding businesses showcased their products or played what was on the news.

Rose and Adam led Kara, Luther, and Alice into a coffee shop for a rest. While Rose and Adam ordered some coffee, Kara, Luther, and Alice waited for them nearby at a table next to the large window of the store. Alice walked over to a section in the coffee shop that had books for sale. There were digitalized tablet books mostly, similar to magazines, and there were also old paper books as well.

Kara shook her head with a smile, glancing at Luther. "We go to a bookstore practically every day, you'd think she would get tired of them."

Luther smiled, chuckling softly. "Maybe she thinks she will find something new in this place."

Alice looked through the books, eyes reading every title on the spines. She rounded the corner and ran straight into someone else.

"Oh, sorry," the person said.

"Sorry!" Alice apologized, realizing it was a human boy around ten years old.

He wore glasses, had tan skin and dark eyes and hair. He gave her a sheepish smile as he drew the book he was carrying up to his chest.

"T-that's a good book," Alice said shyly. "I've read it."

The boy perked up. "Y-you like to read? P-paper books?"

Alice nodded, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear. "Mhmhm. They are the best ones."

"Yeah…they are. Wow, I usually get so much flak for reading paper books. My friends say they're for old people. M-my name is Kevin. What's yours?"

"Alice."

"You from here?"

"Well, I did live here for a while, but moved away. We're just visiting."

"Kevin, c'mon, let's go!" the boy's mother called from across the store.

Kevin slouched. "Gotta go. Hey! Add me on Hang-n-Chat. My username is KevinMoon728."

"Okay."

"Bye," he said, but paused again. Turning to look at her again. His face flushed. "By the way… yourreallypretty."

He ran for it after that. Alice stared after him, slowly smiling at his retreating back. She skipped over to her parents, who sat with Rose and Adam at their table, looking out the window. She took her own seat next to Kara.

"I would've never guessed that this was where Markus led the demonstration," Kara said, looking around outside. "It looks so different from what I saw on the news back then."

"Yep…Hart Plaza. Right over there, that new shopping mall? That's where the recall center was."

"So where is Markus now?" Kara asked.

"Still here," Rose answered, taking a sip of her coffee. "Still the chosen leader of your people. Don't think he could get out of it even if he wanted to."

"He's got a pretty big community center thing for androids," Adam added. "Not sure what all they do there, but Markus and his followers do their best to help."

Rose nodded. "Yeah, the Jericho Center. We can swing by another day, you should definitely see it. I'm sure Markus would be happy to see you guys, he's asked about you a few times when I've bumped into him."

"Really?" Kara asked. "That would be great."

"Does Markus's center have other android children?" Alice asked curiously.

Rose smiled. "I've seen many. You would fit right in!"

Alice smiled in response, glancing to her parents.

"Oh, speaking of Markus," Rose said. "Adam and I got to meet that famous deviant hunter you told us about that chased you around Camden and through the freeway. I had heard he became a deviant in the demonstrations months ago and was the one who infiltrated the CyberLife warehouse and woke all those androids. He somehow was able to return to work at the DPD and is now an active detective on the force."

Kara recalled that event and the deviant hunter and slowly nodded. "Yeah…Connor. We spoke a little after Jericho was destroyed. He apologized to me and Alice…said he had been a machine only taking orders and it wasn't him, that he had changed. When did you meet him?"

"Around two months ago. We had gone there to pick up one of Adam's friends that needed a ride after getting out of jail. I saw him, and after Markus told me about him, well, had to introduce myself. He's very sweet."

Kara weakly laughed. "He wasn't sweet chasing me through that freeway. I was so scared. Alice and I…we were almost killed. I'm glad he broke free though…there's no telling what would've happened had he stayed obedient and not have freed all those androids to help turn the tide."

Kara lowered her eyes, feeling a little guilty now. "To be honest, I was so freaked out after Jericho was destroyed, I was scared for Alice, worried about Luther…I didn't give him the proper acknowledgement to his apology. Guess I was still a little scared of him. I know a lot of deviants within Jericho blamed him for what happened, accused him of being a traitor, said he was just pretending to be a deviant and still serving humans. Before Alice and I left, he was the outcast, off by himself in that shelter unless Markus was talking to him."

"I think we're all glad to have that night behind us," Rose said, frowning. "C'mon. We should get back home. We can come back into the city tomorrow to visit the Jericho Center."

There was a soft ambience, still, undisturbed, down in the evidence room. The dead WR600 Sam laid on a table up against the wall. One mangled eye left a cavity that oozed blue blood down the cheek and neck. Damaged, jagged polymer hands from breaking out of handcuffs lay at the sides, the right one soaked in Thirium.

Connor looked the android over and prepared it to be shipped to CyberLife. They did not have the correct equipment here to run the diagnostics. Hank was probably still on the phone with the company. And Connor knew Hank well enough to know that once the seventh minute had passed while on hold that the lieutenant would start to get mouthy.

Connor made sure he didn't miss anything. He was puzzled by Sam's behavior and the glitchy feedback. Scanning the android over, he pulled up their chances at getting a successful diagnostic run.

[Probability of success: 17%]

Connor sighed, stepping away from the dead android. The core processor was beyond repair, enabling extraction of any information as to what happened highly improbable.

Footsteps echoed through the chamber, and the RK800 turned around, expecting Hank. Instead it was Gavin, and the irritable detective sneered his way as he came towards Connor.

"The fuck you still doing down here, tin can?" he greeted with bite, scratching the scar on his nose.

"Preparing the WR600 for shipment."

Gavin rolled his eyes. "Still?"

Connor looked away for a moment. "Well, I was a little distracted with my thoughts on the matter. Perhaps I missed something at the crime scene that could have told me what was wrong with Sam."

He received a glare for his words as Gavin folded his arms with a huff. "What the hell does it matter? He killed a girl. Then he killed himself. It doesn't change anything. You're starting to take after your so-called partner and not let shit go."

"There has to be a reason that-"

"Listen jackass," Gavin interjected. "There's not always gonna be a goddamn reason. You work this career long enough, you'll see it. No use dwelling on the how or why when it doesn't matter. The case is solved. Move on."

Gavin pushed Connor aside, walking over to the dead WR600. He sat down a folder next to the android body, along with his keys and cell phone. He opened the folder and checked through it, slapping it back down on the table and pointing at it. "There's a copy of the case report and a copy of the recording from the interrogation. Make sure that gets sent too. Hurry along, I'm sure the lieutenant is missing his pet."

Connor cocked his head slightly. "Why do you dislike Hank so much, Detective Reed?"

Gavin laughed. "Jesus, don't take it so personal. I hate everyone the same amount."

"Why do you hate people then?"

Gavin tossed his hands, accompanying it with a shake of his head. "What are you, a shrink?"

"Just trying to comprehend your behavior."

Gavin stepped in close, glaring up at the taller android. "Comprehend this, prick. Hank's a fucking loser, all he does is tread on my toes and gets in my way. His self-destructive behavior should've cost him his job but he apparently kisses too much ass with Fowler. And then there's you…he's gotta be using you to make himself look good because he can't fucking do his job on his own. He used to be so anti-android…hell it was the only thing we could agree on. And now he suddenly likes you and wants to be buddy-buddy and help your fucking cause so we can all be replaced? Fuck that."

Connor felt a spark in his circuits, his LED going yellow. He did not like Gavin insulting Hank when his partner wasn't around to defend himself. Why did Gavin make it so hard to understand him?

"Say what you want about me, Detective Reed, but I advise you to respect Hank. He is your superior and I will not stand by and let you insult him."

Gavin sneered but didn't move away. "You wanted to know! Now you're all pissy that I talked shit about your "partner"? Why don't you do something about it then?"

"We both know how that will end," Connor replied smoothly. "With you laid out on this floor like last time."

Gavin responded with a punch directed at Connor's stomach, but the RK800 caught it mid-swing and held it there, the two glaring at each other.

"Gavin!"

They responded to the voice by looking towards the source, finding Ben Collins entering. The older officer beheld them for a moment, suspicion riding on narrowed eyebrows.

"You boys better be playing nice down here," he stated.

"What's up, Ben?" Gavin asked, stepping away to face his coworker.

"You got a call upstairs from that Mr. Turner guy, says he's got some new information for you on that bank robbery last week."

"Bout damn time," Gavin said, immediately departing from Connor's side to leave with Ben.

"Detective Reed, you-"

"Shut up, asshole. If you wanna be a shrink then find Hank, he could use it."

The detective laughed as he hit the stairs, Ben shaking his head with a grumble right behind him. Connor blinked, his LED slowly returning to blue. He was frustrated. He wasn't one to let Gavin get to him. If he insulted Hank, his partner was usually there to defend himself, and did a good job at it. Gavin's insults thrown at Connor didn't faze him, having learnt to associate Gavin with petty affronts. Connor gathered it was because he wanted to understand Gavin but was only ever met with confrontation.

He looked down at the table where Gavin had left his keys and cell phone. Connor had tried to tell him about it, but Gavin blew him off. A small, mischievous smile slowly twitched on his lips as he reached for the cell phone.

"Let me get this fucking straight," Hank growled, rubbing his temples. "You're gonna allow Gavin to go, but not Connor?"

He couldn't believe he was thinking it, but Hank was starting to think he would've been better off still dealing with CyberLife on the phone over this. He was already agitated by dealing with the company, and now Fowler decided to drop this on top of it.

The Captain of the Detroit Police Department closed his eyes for a moment, looking over the holographic computer screen at his lieutenant and old friend. "I didn't make the choice, Hank. The mayor and city council did. Human event only."

"That's bullshit, how could they decide something like that with them being at the core of android rights?!"

Fowler rolled away from his computer, knowing he wasn't going to get any work done with Hank bitching across from him. "Hank, it's not a council meeting or any shit like that. It's just an appreciation banquet."

Hank grounded his teeth for a moment. "Oh, so Connor didn't do enough to be appreciated?"

"I didn't say that."

"Because of Connor we've been able to solve nearly four times the amount of homicide cases, Jeffrey! With him alone! He's fucking done more in this department in eight months than I've seen cops do their whole careers. Connor hasn't failed at any interrogations and hasn't lost any suspects he's had to chase down."

"Jesus, Hank, I know that!"

"You expect me to just sit there and let the fucking mayor recognize Gavin for his hard work when my partner isn't even allowed inside like he's some kind of goddamn lower being?!"

Fowler pointed a long index finger across his desk at the lieutenant. "I most certainly do. Fuck Hank, you're taking this too personal. It's not a big event, not a big deal. There will be plenty of other opportunities. I promise Connor will get recognized for all that he's done. There's just nothing I can do about this one."

Hank pointed his own finger at his superior, rising out of his chair. "He fucking better! And of course, it's personal. I'm not gonna let my partner get shoved aside because of some bullshit discrimination when he deserves a lot more than what he gets here!"

Fowler actually had the nerve to laugh. Hank paused in his striding for the door of the captain's office, and he turned. "What the fuck's so funny?"

Fowler showed his hands to show he meant no harm. "It's nothing…it's just…you're so protective of him. I never would've thought to see you come to care about a machi-" Hank glared daggers at him. "About an android so much…"

"So?"

Fowler offered the chair that Hank just got up from. Grumbling, Hank slowly came over and sat down.

"I should've told you this already, Hank, but…It's really good to have you back. I was starting to worry about you. Worry about your health…worry about the man you were becoming. Now I'm starting to see more and more of the man you once were as the days go by."

Hank looked away, clenching his jaw, not out of anger, but of discomfort for being put on the spot. He ran a calloused hand through his graying hair. "Yeah well…it's because of Connor. I owe him…my life."

Fowler dipped his head. "I know, I heard he saved you a few times during the deviant uprisings."

Hank shook his head. "Not that…I mean he saved me…from myself."

A long moment of silence passed between the old colleagues. Hank, thoroughly uncomfortable, stood up once more. He ran a hand under his nose, catching Fowler's eyes. "So…make sure he gets the recognition he deserves, alright?"

The Police Captain slowly nodded his head, taking in Hank's words. The lieutenant then left the office after that, feeling a bit disheveled but also surprisingly content. He made his way over to his desk, noticing that Connor had yet to return to his. He looked around, phones rang away, police officers moved around or sat at their desks. He spotted Gavin talking on his desk phone with his legs propped up at the end of his desk, using his shoulder to hold the phone while he dug at his nails with a pocket knife.

"Lieutenant!"

Hank responded to the call, smiling upon seeing Chris Miller approaching. "Hey Chris, what's up?"

"Just got a call about an android attacking a group of people near Grand Circus Park. Two people are in critical condition and four others are also injured. It apparently used a gun and is still at large. I know you were investigating the one that killed the girl at the clothing store, and was interested in the report I took yesterday about the protesters being attacked."

"On it," Hank said. "Send all the info to Connor's computer, I'll have him download it while we're heading that way."

"Will do. Ben should be there by the time you arrive also," Chris said.

Chris left and Hank went over to his desk to collect his badge and gun. He opened the drawer on his desk to fish out his keys. He saw Connor not a moment later coming around from his way back from the evidence room. Hank waved him over.

"Con, come on, gotta go."

He tossed Connor his keys and the RK800 caught them with grace. The partners started heading for the exit side by side. "What happened?"

"Another android attack. Chris is gonna send the info to you, shouldn't take him but a few minutes. Did you finish up getting that android ready for shipment?"

"Yes."

"Why are you smiling?"

"No reason," Connor replied. "Although, I do suggest you call Gavin later. I heard he changed his voicemail message."

"Wait a minute," Hank paused just as they got to his car, pulling up his phone. "I got a text from him saying "I'm a little bitch" and then a video of him getting kicked in the nuts from that Asian girl last month in the interrogation room. What did you do?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Hank."

"You hacked his phone, didn't you?"

Connor opened the car door and slipped into the driver's seat. Hank laughed as he slid into the passenger side.

"That's fucking great, my partner the savage. How many people did you send it to?"

"Just everyone in his contacts list that had a phone number or email address. Including everyone at the DPD."

Hank busted out laughing as Connor put the car into gear and took off.

The suburban street had little appeal to it, full of decrepit houses and overgrown lawns. Cars rarely passed by over cracked asphalt. Only a few houses had residents within, not as worn down or ugly as the abandoned houses. There was more foot traffic in this part, and most of the people were humans that either avoided them or were too strung out on red ice or other drugs to care.

"Where are you taking us?" Josh asked.

"This is way off from where we last spotted Gus," North said, looking around the sketchy neighborhood.

Simon walked slightly ahead, leading his friends. The few humans who stood around outside would either glare them down and not say anything or make a retreat inside their homes. Some were too high to care about their presence. Even though Simon, North, and Josh wore regular human clothes and no longer had LEDs it was as if the humans here knew what they were.

"We're going to Gus's old home. He could've gone there to hide. We better make sure," Simon explained.

"Whatever you say," North said skeptically.

"We've been at it all day. We should return to Markus and inform him that we lost Gus," Josh grumbled.

"We can just send him a mind message, no big deal," North said, kicking a can along the broken sidewalk.

"Have you seen where we're at?" Josh scoffed. "We're too far."

"Guys," sighed Simon, wanting to preventing a potential bickering match. "We're almost there. If Gus isn't there, we'll return to Jericho Center and see what Markus wants to do next. Alright?"

The PL600 turned onto an overgrown driveway to a crumbling two-story house that looked as though it had been abandoned for many years and had remnants of a fire.

"Here we are."

"That looks…unsafe," Josh said, gulping.

North half-rolled her eyes. "Ugh, then stay here. We'll be right back."

Josh didn't listen and went with them up onto the collapsing front porch. Simon tried the front door. It was open. He paused with his hand on the doorknob, looking back at his friends.

"Be careful. Not only is this place falling apart, if Gus is here he might attack. So be ready."

They nodded and Simon flung the door open. A wave of musky mildew and old smoke wafted into their faces. The three androids stepped inside, looking around a dark, dirty living room. They split up to check the bottom floor, but all was quiet save for the creaking of the floor below their feet and the occasional moaning of the house's structure from the wind outside.

"Gus?" Simon called out. "We're here to help you. Come on out if you're here."

A crash upstairs made them jump. Simon looked to North and Josh and they nodded. They moved to the staircase, hitting it one at a time. One step collapsed under Josh's weight and he had to grab the railing to catch himself. Once on the second floor Josh remained at the staircase to prevent anyone from escaping while North and Simon combed through the rooms.

North thought she heard movement in the back bedroom and left Simon's side to check it out. She called out for Gus, imploring him with gentle reassurance to come out.

She pulled open a closet door and was met with a tall figure with a knife drawn. He screamed, she screamed and kicked him straight back into the closet. Simon and Josh burst into the room but the assailant remained in the closet.

"Ralph?! What the hell are you doing here?!" North hissed, holding her chest as her mechanical heart went up a few beats.

The scarred WR600 moved out into the room, holding himself nervously. The Jericho crew hadn't seen him in a while, as Ralph was not one to stick around, even when people were trying to help him. He was a nomad, and moved throughout Detroit to various places to avoid most people. He had calmed down some in the past few months, but still remained moody, fluctuating between emotions by the fly.

"W-what? Why you ask that? You scared Ralph! Why are you here?"

Simon cut to the chase. "We're looking for Gus, have you seen him?"

"Gus lets Ralph squat at his old home when he doesn't stay with the Jerrys," Ralph said innocently. "Haven't seen Gus in a while. Was starting to get lonely."

"You have any idea where he could be?" Josh asked, knowing it was a long shot.

Ralph thought it over, fidgety as usual. "N-no. He's been at Jericho Center a lot. Ralph doesn't know anywhere else he likes to stay."

North grumbled. "Ugh, useless as always."

Simon glared at her. "North."

Josh stepped forward, closing in on Ralph, but giving him a friendly smile. "Ralph, you should come back to Jericho Center with us. You know Markus wants to help you."

"Y-yes, o-of course Ralph knows that," Ralph laughed nervously. "B-but all those androids make him anxious. Not as anxious as humans, but still anxious."

Simon reached out to touch Ralph's arm. "I know deep down you want to fit in. We can help you."

Ralph moved out of Simon's touch like a nervous cat. "Don't touch Ralph! You might be sick!"

Simon drew away. "Sorry, Ralph. I'm just-wait…Sick? What do you mean by sick?"

Ralph looked between them, even more restless now. "You don't know? You can't see it? Feel it? So many androids getting sick and hurting people. Ralph is scared. Some of the Jerrys are acting sick. It's why Ralph is here. One of the Jerrys attacked him. Ralph had to kill him. T-to protect himself! But Ralph hasn't felt sick yet. He doesn't want to get sick."

Simon, North, and Josh exchanged glances.

North looked to Ralph. "How long have you noticed this?"

Ralph shrugged, playing with his torn cape. "Ah, m-maybe a couple weeks? It gets worse every day. More and more get sick."

"You think Gus was sick?" Josh asked apprehensively, turning to Simon.

Simon clenched his fists at his sides. "I don't know. We should get back. Ralph, you need to come with us and tell Markus what you know."

The scarred WR600 shook his head, backing up against the wall. "N-no. Ralph wants to stay here. It's safer here."

Simon stepped forward, reaching out to the squatter. "Ralph…listen to me. We might need your help. We promise we won't let anyone hurt you. You won't get sick. Come with us."

Ralph hesitated but slowly nodded. He stepped forward, nervously reaching to touch Simon's hand to his own for just a moment. Simon smiled and then nodded at the others.

"Let's go."

The eastern half of Grand Circus Park was alive with activity. First responders, ambulances, and police cars blocked off much of the surrounding avenues, congesting traffic. The park looked like it had been dressed up for some sort of music festival. There were food vendors, festival visitors and musicians all being questioned by police. A few humans were getting looked over by paramedics. Reporters were on scene, taking advantage of a brewing story. Drones circled the park and the surrounding avenues for any suspicious activity.

Hank and Connor showed their badges and stepped through the police line. They caught sight of Ben Collins near Alger Fountain and met him there.

"Afternoon, Hank," Ben greeted, taking notes on his tablet.

"A music festival, huh?" Hank asked, looking around at the stage that was put up with all the surrounding vendors and activities, all currently abandoned and in disarray.

"Kinda. A small country music competition I think. Did you get the info Chris sent you?"

Hank motioned to Connor, who nodded and answered. "Yes. Currently six people injured, two in critical condition. Android model is unknown but female. Supposed to have fled towards the opera house. Am I correct?"

Ben nodded. "Unfortunately, nothing new has come up since Chris registered that information. Have a look. Tell me what you can figure out."

Hank touched Connor's shoulder as he stepped by. "I'll go talk to some witnesses. Be back soon."

Connor didn't say anything and got to work. He looked around the fountain, where the attack was assumed to have taken place. There were a few chairs sitting around, some toppled over. Some food was scattered around as well as a dumped over medium soda.

[Pineapple passion soda, 520kCal, Sugar (119g)/Hank's favorite]

He spotted a stray bullet hole within a cement bench and went over to it. He scanned it over, syncing the data.

[Bullet hole/Caliber: 9mm handgun]

Upon further inspection around the Alger Fountain, he found two more bullet holes, one in a nearby tree off in the grass and another hitting the side of a food vendor's trailer. The three bullets had different trajectories, but originated from the south side of the fountain. Finding a few blood puddles further away from the fountain, in a mix of vendor tents and chairs, Connor was able to gather two more paths from the gun.

[Attacker didn't have a specific target.]

He kneeled down next to the blood, hearing the bells go off across the street at the Victorian gothic styled church, marking the time of three o'clock. He analyzed the blood by licking it, determining three victims in this area. Then he spotted it.

The RK800 rose to his feet and walked over the vendor tent, kicking aside a box of crafts. A knife laid on the ground, covered in Thirium. He licked the blue blood, processing it.

[Fresh blue blood/Model: AJ700]

He tried to reconstruct the events with what he had. The AJ700 shot into the crowd of people near the Alger Fountain, and when she ran towards a path near this vendor tent a male civilian jumped her. He was shot but it showed the knife had struck the back of the neck before it flew from his hands. The injury was tricky, most likely nicking important wires connected to the central processing unit in the head. It wouldn't allow for much Thirium loss, but Connor was sure it would cause a host of problems in the AJ700, including continual power loss and confusion.

[AJ700 too injured to go far]

The reconstruction did show her fleeing towards the opera house. He headed down the path, catching droplets of Thirium here and there. Near the bustling road, just off the sidewalk in the grass, he saw the gun.

[Ruger 9mm, reported stolen May 29, 2038]

[eRRorZen . exe]

Connor stopped in his tracks, blinking. He pressed a hand to his temple, not out of pain, but confusion, like his processor had a lapse in the circuitry. His LED blinked yellow a few times, then returned blue. Shaking his head, Connor resumed heading for the crosswalk to follow the trail.

"Hey!"

He turned, seeing Hank jog to catch up. "What the hell you think you're doing?"

"Following the trail," Connor replied frankly. "The AJ700 couldn't have gotten far from her injuries."

Hank felt to make sure he had his gun on him. "Alright, well, let's check it out. We have a couple android witnesses we can talk to who claim to be the attacker's friend."

Connor nodded. "Alright."

Connor led the way, Hank keeping at his heels as they took the crosswalk across the street to the Detroit Opera House. It took Connor longer than normal to find the trail, with so much foot traffic having smeared the little Thirium across the sidewalks. They followed the blue blood droplets on the Broadway Street side.

"Hey lady, what's your problem?! Get outta the road!"

Honks blared and there was scuffling of brakes. Connor spotted the AJ700 darting across the street, not even bothering to look both ways. Long, dark hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and she wore pants, and a dark shirt and jacket.

"There!" Connor hollered, taking off.

"Connor! Wait!"

The RK800 didn't listen, and heard Hank curse at his back. He took the same path as the injured android, dodging cars. More blares from horns echoed on the street, and it caused the AJ700 to turn and look. Upon seeing him, her eyes widened and she took off at full speed. Connor adjusted his speed accordingly, shirking through throngs of civilians in his attempt to catch her.

"Detroit Police, stop right there!" Connor yelled.

She took a street that would head for Greektown. Connor jumped over a bench to avoid a group of people, dashing down the next street she did. He started to catch up quickly, or she was slowing down, it didn't matter. He saw her grab her head, and she cried out.

[Stress level: 87%]

"Shit," Connor breathed as she darted across another busy road. By the time he evaded a bus and a few cars with his own crossing, he barely caught her back as she ducked between an alleyway.

He caught up just as she was trying to climb a tall chain-link fence. He grabbed her leg and pulled her down. With a cry, her back hit the payment. She got to her knees, putting her hands up, tears streaming down her face.

"Please…I-I didn't mean to. I-I don't know what happened. I'm so scared."

"Everything will be alright," Connor said. "I just need you to cooperate. I cannot help you if you continue to run or hurt people. Do you understand?"

[Stress level: 79%]

She nodded, a few quick movements as her eyes went up to meet his. "Y-yes."

The RK800 motioned for her to get to her feet. The female android slowly listened, a spark emitting from her neck. Connor remained wary, lest she bolted for it. She didn't though, and hung her head, putting her palms to her face just as Hank caught up.

"Good job, Connor."

Connor scanned the AJ700 over, syncing the data as a few red flags popped up in his matrix.

[Anomalies detected/Power source damaged/Systems processing corrupted/Repairs needed]

[Time remaining before shutdown: -02:01:49]

"We don't have much time. Let's get her back to the station," Connor said.

*******************************************************************************************

A/N: I don't know why, but sometimes I'm terrible at coming up at chapter titles and I'm always like "why do I use them?" xD Anyways, holy moly thanks for all the support so far in this story, getting lots of PMs and such on it. Thank you for all the responses/faves/follow, etc! By the way, I updated the first 3 chapters to use the thought and analysis thing I came up for Connor to better go along with how it was in the game :3 Thanks for sticking with the story, whoever is still reading xD have a good week everyone <3

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13002717/4/Deviant-Heart

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15393528/chapters/36185613

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 7 years

Text

Cuddling with Pidge was wonderful.

The way her weight added to Allura's and helped them sink that much further into the bed, the warmth of her tucked against Allura's front, the steady rise and fall of her breathing and the fact that Pidge was here, safe and sound in her arms.

All in all, Allura would go as far as to say the moment was perfect... Except for...

"Pidge?"

Allura frowned and pressed her ear closer to the crook of Pidge's neck, listening worriedly.

Even considering that they were laying down and perhaps the most relaxed they'd been since the war began, the Paladin's heartbeat was just a tad too slow to be reassuring.

"Are you sure this is normal?"

A chuckle echoed back against her chest.

"Yep." Pidge confirmed, tone buzzing at the edges with amusement. "One hundred percent normal. This is just how Earthling hearts sound when we're chilling with our girlfriend."

Allura smiled despite her lingering worry.

She still thought the Earthing term for heartsworn was thoroughly inadiquet, but the tender way it always left Pidge's lips more made up for the word itself.

Also, she was fairly sure she'd heard Pidge's heart skip a beat when she said it.

Closing her eyes Allura let the odd rhythm sink into her.

"It's just so slow." She breathed, deliberately tickling the back of Pidge neck so she snorted and squirmed playfully in Allura's arms. "I don't understand how I never noticed before."

"Probably because this is the first time we've gotten this close outside of sparring or a fight." Pidge said frankly. "My heart goes about a mile a minute whenever shit starts going down, and yours speeds up so much I can barely feel it."

The hand covering Allura's own pressed down gently, fingers curling to find the pulse at underside of her wrist. Pidge let out a thoughtful hum.

"Even right now it's beating like a hummingbird's wings. I keep thinking you're about to faint or something."

"If I do it won't be due to anything medical." Allura teased.

The corner of Pidge's mouth lifted mischievously. Twining their hands together she tugged them up to her chest and ducked her head. A tick later Allura felt the delicate brush of lips ghost across the underside of her wrist- and found herself blushing as the kiss made her own heartbeat spike into a giddy thrum, warmth running through her veins and spreading up her cheeks.

Burying her burning face in Pidge's shoulder she sighed contently, savoring the feeling.

"Tell me about hummingbirds."

"Hm?"

Allura didn't have to see Pidge's face to know her look had switched instantly from mischievous to thoughtful.

"Hummingbirds, huh..." Pidge considered the question seriously.

"Well, they're small flying pollinators that feed off of the nectar of Earth flowers, though some people put out feeders for them too. They have feathers and a narrow, thin beak- I guess they look a bit like Altean daskinnirs but without the poisonous spines- and they flap their wings so fast they they can hover in place."

She paused, leaving space in case Allura wanted to comment or ask for clarification.

Trying to picture the Earth creature in her mind's eye Allura did manage to come up with several more questions. "Are they common on Earth?"

"In some places, yeah."

"What about where you lived?"

Allura knew of course that Pidge had tried to avoid the outdoors back before her bond with the Green Lion helped her appreciate plants a bit more. Still, hummingbirds sounded like the sort of creature most people would enjoy watching, if given a chance.

"We had a few at our old place. The Garrison is in the desert though, so there's nothing for them there."

The lack of wistfulness in Pidge's voice likely meant the Guardian Spirit of the Forest still considered the loss of hummingbirds a fair trade to escape the dreaded 'poison oak'.

Allura bit down on her lip. The irony of the Green Paladin would never not be amusing.

"And their defensive weapons?"

"None that I'm aware of, aside from being really fast and small."

"What color are they?"

"Oh all sorts." Pidge's shoulder shifted slightly in a restrained shrug.

"Green, blue, pink, gold, purple, it depends on the species. And lots of them have iridescent feathers, so they look especially pretty when they're flitting around in the sunlight."

Iridescent feathers? Allura imagined a garden filled with all her favorite Altean flowers, the day bright and the air filled with motes of living rainbow as small glimmering flecks darted from blossom to blossom, pausing now and then to hang in midair, tiny wings a blur.

"They sound beautiful..."

"Watching them is pretty incredible." Pidge agreed readily.

"I used to take holovids of them with Matt and try building drones that moved like them, wings and all. Then we'd test drive them by setting them loose inside the house and seeing how many Gunther could catch..."

"Of course you did." Allura quipped, muffling her laughter against Pidge shirt.

An imaginary Pidge appeared in Allura's garden, tools spread around her as fiddled with something small cupped in the palm of her hand.

On a whim she added herself to the picture.

Maybe stretched out on her back with her head in Pidge's lap, hands full of flowers as she plaited them into a matching set of bracelets and crowns. Now and then she might stop to offer a flower to one of the glittering hummingbirds as it passed by and Pidge would look up every time she did, absentmindedly adjusting her glasses and smiling as she got another close look at what she was trying to mimic.

Allura breathed in deeply. For a moment she almost thought she could taste the scent of juniberries and feel the mid-summer sunshine.

A faint pang rang through her chest.

She had just realized she was imagining more than Altean flowers- The garden itself was an exact copy of the ones that used to ring the Castle of the Lions, and the Pidge sitting in it with her was wearing the same style of clothes Allura had grown up seeing.

Her seemingly harmless little daydream had turned into a wishful picture of what could have been.

Nuzzling closer to Pidge, Allura did her best to push the thought away.

And now Allura also noticed that Pidge had gone silent as well, right after mentioning the brother who was still missing after almost a year of searching.

"Your heartbeat reminds me of a sleeping klanmuirl." She said, wanting to keep the conversation going and distract them both.

"It does?"

Twisting her head awkwardly Pidge peered over her shoulder at Allura, wide eyed and curious.

Allura smirked. She'd nearly forgotten how Pidge had first come to hear of klanmuirls, and how the experience had almost put her off using the Castle's language program to learn Altean.

"Mm. My mother had one that would follow her everywhere, even onto the bridge of her ship whenever she was commanding Altea's fleets."

A fleet that had been the first loss when Zarkon turned traitor- The ache in Allura's chest gave another warning pang- But she wanted to remember this even if it hurt, and she wanted share it with Pidge.

Pidge herself seemed to pick up on this being important. Sheets rustled and the bed shifted as Pidge turned fully around, rolling over carefully in Allura's arms so as not to break her grip.

Allura gave her a moment to finish settling before going on.

"As commander of the fleet my mother was often off world and far away, helping with some crisis or supporting an alley." She explained, hearing a touch of pride light up her voice.

"She was away so much that when she was home I would try to spend as much time with her as I could, whether that meant joining extra sparring lessons or sitting in on the meetings with her generals."

Memory of the latter made Allura smile wryly. Strange how nostalgia could paint even the most mind-numbingly dulls hours of her life in a wistful light.

"When I was little the meetings invariably proved too tedious for me and I would end up falling asleep..." She had still dozed off as got older, but learned to do so with her eyes open and seemingly alert looking.

"...And sometimes when I woke up I would be curled up with my mother's klanmuirl, who wasn't any better at staying awake during those meetings than I was, and I would barely have time to get my bearings before it's slow breathing and heartbeat lulled me back to sleep."

Reaching up Allura ran a hand through Pidge's hair, softer and more feathery than the dense, bristly fur she was recalling.

Pidge quirked an eyebrow at her, one corner of her mouth lifting up as well.

"So my heartbeat makes you feel sleepy?"

Allura nodded.

"Very." She said, and somehow managed to keep a straight face as she closed her eyes and feigned a few snores.

Pidge snickered and shoved her shoulder lightly.

"On Earth it's considered rude to call your girlfriend a snooze-fest!"

A giggle slipped from Allura's lips as opened her eyes agian.

"Well it isn't on Altea." She informed Pidge, leaning in to place a kiss on the bridge of Pidge's nose and cover the little dent her glasses always left behind. "In fact among adult Alteans, being relaxed enough around someone to fall asleep near them is a sign of deep trust and considered a great compliment."

Amber eyes rolled.

"I feel so complimented." Pidge's grin ruined the sarcasm she'd obviously been trying for.

"Also, I have a question while I try to picture this- Was your mom's klanmuirl the smallish, cute kind, or was it the giant monstrous three-eyed final boss version?"

Allura stared at her. What the quiznack was a final boss?

"It was fully grown, if that's what you mean."

"And your mom let you sleep with it." Pidge clarified. "'It' being the Altean analogue of a Earth grizzly bear."

Judging from her tone Allura guessed that most Earthing mothers would not in fact let their children sleep with a 'grizzly bear' or the Altean equivalent thereof.

"They're very docile once you bond with them." She assured Pidge.

"I even used to wrestle with mother's before I grew too big for it, and never got anything worse than a few scratches."

Shaking her head Pidge tucked herself under Allura's chin.

"Before you got too big for it." She snorted. "So you were a badass even as a kid."

"I suppose?"

Wrapping her arms more fully around Pidge, Allura stared into the empty air and frowned to herself, puzzled.

"... what kind of compliment is 'badass' meant to be?"

"It means impressive. Amazing."

The words gusted across Allura's collarbone and made it suddenly rather hard for her to focus on what Pidge was saying.

"Badass as in your mother sounds like she was a badass, bear-taming Queen Commander of Altea." She mumbled. "Badass like how you are, oh bear-wrestling, empire-overthrowing princess with a hummingbird heartbeat..."

With that Pidge drew a deep breath in let it out as a happy sigh. A moment later Allura felt her limbs going slack as she drifted off to sleep.

Smiling, Allura tilted her head and pressed her cheek to Pidge's bangs.

She could hear Pidge's heartbeat in the quiet- Strong, steady, and even slower now than before.

Listening it filled Allura with memories of safety and warmth, filled her with daydreams of glittering wings and sun soaked gardens, images of what had been and could have been and, best of all, what was happening right now as her eyelids grew so heavy she couldn't keep them open anymore, until she couldn't even think of a reason to try.

The feeling was still strange. Still a little unnerving.

But wonderful all the same.

#pallura #fanfic #fluff #.#..#mild hurt/comfort #mostly they just cuddle and chat and stuff #includes my own non-canon ideas about allura's mom #bc i'm tired of the moms being featureless bg characters #and also if altean princesses are badass then altean queens should be too

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weatherfish · 5 years

Text

Vinyl Surfin’ In The 70s

ENDLESS SUMMERS & SIDEWALKS

It was all Bruce Brown’s fault.

On an uneventful Sunday afternoon in the spring of 1976 I happened to catch the better part of Bruce Brown’s seminal surf documentary “The Endless Summer” on our family’s 20” Sony television. And my life was changed. Like many others I was charmed by the film’s simple, idyllic look at the surfing lifestyle; traveling from beach to beach, searching for a ‘perfect wave’. But it was chiefly the film’s soundtrack that solidified my interest, especially the lilting theme song by The Sandals. “The Endless Summer” movie was originally released in 1966, riding at the last crest of the 60’s surfing fad, and soon after the sport of surfing began its’ bottom-turn back into the underground. By the early seventies surfing was a bit of an outlaw sport, but thanks to the swell of popularity in the sixties meant it was ripe for revival. So smack in the middle of the seventies that same elusive California myth of the early-sixties would be reborn just in time for my adolescent mind to get sucked right into it.

While I first saw “The Endless Summer” film in ’76, director Bruce Brown was retried in Santa Barbara, while I was a landlocked 14-year-old, living in a miserable logging town in the Pacific Northwest. In the mid-seventies the ominous specter of gas shortages, inflation/recession, Watergate, the cold war and other bullshit crisis hung heavy over life, even for a witless young lad like myself. The whole California surfing lifestyle was an enticing illusion, and its agent was music. And such is why I fell so utterly in love with that silly surfing myth, which consumed much of my tiny mind throughout my high-school years. Even though I was only several hours away from the Pacific Ocean, it might as well have been a thousand miles, as Washington’s surf was rather frigid and breaks in the main were unaccessible.

After being so perfectly charmed by the Bruce Brown film, I was subsequently engulfed by the California myth due to two major factors:

The first was the Beach Boys revival. Capitol Records had recently packaged all of the Beach Boys early hit singles into a two-LP set called, coincidentally enough – “The Endless Summer”. That compilation shored up the sagging fortunes of the band back up considerably in the mid-seventies. So it was not uncommon to hear Beach Boys tracks on popular radio stations back then, even mixed in with the disco throb of the top-40.

The second factor, and even more influential to me, was an article that appeared in a 1976 issue of Rolling Stone magazine called “The Endless Sidewalk”. Tim Cahill’s account painted a similarly idyllic view of a parallel revival coming from California in the seventies - skateboarding. Before that story appeared, what few skateboarders there were tended to be surfers too, and most of the land-board’s ‘tricks’ were derivative of surfing maneuvers, keeping a strong connection between the two board sports. But the wonderful thing about skateboarding to me (and most of the initiates of the mid-seventies) was that you didn’t need a temperate ocean break to ride. Even in a dismal backwater of rural Washington you could get your stoke on by rolling down any available paved street, sidewalk or parking lot.

Soon after I’d caught Brown’s surf epic on the television I visited our local five-and-dime and the only Beach Boys record they had in stock was a low-rent double-album called “High Water”. The first LP was an acceptable, if too-brief, compilation of Beach Boy hits. The second platter was an edited version of the band’s “Concert” LP from 1964. But combined with my purchase of a skateboard from the local toy shop, I was happily kick-turning around my parent’s driveway to Beach Boys’ music. The blissful combination of Beach Boys and the magic rolling board inspired me to actively seek out as much surf music as I could find. In those days albums of surf music were rare and rough, but this humble remembrance contains the records that I recall most vividly, as I began living the life of a ‘pseudo’ surfer.

NOTE - this is not meant to be any kind of definitive guide to surf music or even surf compilations of the 70s, these were simply the records I was able to acquire back in the late seventies, so a great deal of surf music of the early sixties is not represented here.

Surfin’ Safari - The Beach Boys (Capitol) 1962

Surfin’ USA - The Beach Boys (Capitol) 1963

Surfer Girl - The Beach Boys (Capitol) 1963

After starting with that marginal Pickwick compilation “High Water”, I decided to eschew the standard route of buying more Beach Boys compilations (which were plentiful and redundant) and instead got their original surf-era LPs. Thankfully Capitol had not yet gutted these early albums (back in the 70s Capitol reissued many of the early 60s Beach Boys LPs with fewer tracks than their original release, in some attempt to minimize manufacturing costs and maximize profits I suppose? It made the original complete Beach Boys LPs heavily sought-after back then. It wasn’t until advent of the CD that Capitol finally reissued the complete Beach Boys albums again with all of the original songs included.)

The first proper Beach Boys album I purchased was called Concert, again because the pickings were so slim at the local department store. I don’t own that album anymore and never bothered to repurchase it as it’s basically the sound of the Beach Boys being drowned out by a legion of screaming little girls. But soon after I acquired their 1963 album Surfin’ USA. I can honestly say I probably wore that album out from literally hundreds of plays. And it was soon joined by the other surf-era Beach Boys records of Surfer Girl and their debut record Surfin’ Safari. For the most part I just wanted the surfing stuff - but over time i began to appreciate the other songs and slowly but surely acquired the whole Beach Boys catalog up through their LA Light Album that closed out the 70s.

Surprisingly, the songs I liked the most were the instrumentals, which is not what the Beach Boys are typically noted for. It’s easy to look back on them now and see that they were probably just filler, but they still have an evocative quality to me. They covered Dick Dale’s “Let’s Go Trippin’” and his revved up “Misirlou” - and to this day I still prefer the Beach Boys’ version over Dick’s. They also covered the Gambler’s spacey “Moon Dawg” and the old barroom chestnut “Honky Tonk”. Their attempts at original surf instrumentals are mixed, “Surf Jam” is tuneless but energetic, “Stoked” is a little more developed. Their last attempt at a surf instrumental (from the record Surfer Girl) is a throwaway called “The Rockin’ Surfer” which is notable only for its use of a cheesy organ instead of a jangling guitar.

Soon after the Beach Boys dumped the surf-sham and developed into a formidable pop-group, with Brian Wilson’s genius given full reign until his collapse after the legendary Smile album was aborted.

The Big Surfing Sounds Are On Capitol - Various Artists (Capitol) 1963

My Son The Surf Nut - Jack Marshall (Capitol) 1963

I found these two albums in terrible condition while scouring the bins of the many used record shops in Seattle’s university district. They were both heavily scratched and skipped more than they played, but they were a bit like archeological finds for me. Both were released by Capitol to capitalize (sorry) on the surf craze. The compilation featured four artists; the Beach Boys, Dick Dale, John Severson and Jack Marshall. The BB tracks and Dick Dale were pretty well known in the surfing world. John Severson was surfing’s renaissance man, a film-maker, publisher, artist and musician. As far as I know only a small handful of Severson tracks were ever released, and the two on the this record are pleasant enough but not terribly memorable. Jack Marshall’s two tracks come from the album “My Son The Surf Nut”, discussed thus...

Considering who Jack Marshall was, his record “My Son The Surf Nut” is still a conundrum. Marshall was a well-respected jazz guitarist who’s best known for composing the theme song for The Munster’s television program. The first side of “My Son The Surf Nut” is a selection of mildly funny interview skits performed before a live audience. The second, and weaker, side is comprised of a comical surfing songs. I think that his “Monster Surfer” track would certainly be a strong contender for the worst surf song ever waxed. In fact most of the second side sounds like an alcohol-soaked studio session with nobody taking things seriously, but it’s all quite harmless fun. Side one’s interviews are better, and even jokes this old hold up OK after a half a century, and that’s saying something.

Big Surfing Sounds Are On Capitol was re-released in 1995 as “Surfing’s Greatest Hits”

Surfing - The Ventures 1965

I wasn’t overly keen on this LP, mostly because the Ventures seemed to be more of a covers band, just doing instrumentals of other pop hits. Certainly they’d had a big hit with “Walk, Don’t Run” but since this record’s theme of surf music was so pervasive, I decided to get it. They scored a hit by covering the Chantay’s “Pipeline”. I was also hoping the track “The Lonely Sea” was a cover of that lovely Beach Boys tune from Surfin’ USA. It wasn’t, but it was still a nice track. The other highlight was the ballad “Changing Tides”. The rest were more typical surf tunes, some covers, some original, with “The Ninth Wave” and “Diamonds” being better than the rest. This album was rereleased in expanded form in the CD-era, featuring other Ventures songs of the era as well as some newer material.

Endless Summer Soundtrack - The Sandals 1966

This album was nearly impossible to find in the mid-seventies, and so when I secured a dusty copy I was so delighted to finally hear the soundtrack that had turned me into a surf music fan. The vinyl was in pretty wretched shape, but it was still listenable. The album’s highlight was the title track, a lovely ballad that was the glue that held the film together. There are higher-energy tracks like “Route 1” and “Out Front” which are more traditional surf instrumentals in style, but have better melodic development. The soundtracks other high point is the evocative samba-like “Lonely Road”. “Wild As The Sea” and the silly “Good Greeves”, which is like surf music meeting Mancini’s “Elephant Walk”, are also quite good.

The Sandals re-recorded the entire album back in the early 90s, coinciding with the Bruce Brown sequel “Endless Summer II” (which the band contributed new material to as well). The remake of the original was quite faithful to the original, and sounds better overall, but I’m glad that Capitol reissued the original soundtrack recently as well.

Gotta Take That One Last Ride - Jan & Dean (2 LPs on United Artists) 1974

Ride The Wild Surf (United Artists) 1964

I’m unsure if this 1974 compilation came out before the Beach Boys’ Endless Summer set, but they both had a similar focus on surf’n’drag music and obviously were released to cash in on the surf revival. Featuring an eye-catching cover design by Dean (Torrence) this double LP focuses strictly on the duo’s surf/drag music, skipping over the team’s many other hits. This record’s standout track is “Gonna Hustle You”, which is curious as it’s one of the few that don’t fit into the surf/drag theme. Most of the record contains Beach Boys covers, rewrites and collaborations. Brian Wilson worked with the duo on several songs, and Jan Berry was adept at matching Brian’s production style and to a lesser extent, his songwriting ability.

Not surprisingly this set was reissued on CD, but only nominally, and now fetches triple-digits in the collectors market. But given the fearful plethora of J&D surf/drag compilations, paying such a premium probably isn’t necessary.

Another find in the dustbins of used record shops was a moldy copy of the duo’s ‘songtrack’ to the film Ride The Wild Surf. Actually that’s not even true, save for the title tune, nothing on the LP is from the movie, but it’s certainly packaged to appear like a movie soundtrack. Originally Jan and Dean were slated to appear in the film, but were not able to due to reasons you can scrounge up in Wikiland. Alas save for the signature song and “Sidewalk Surfin’” - their hit rewrite of “Catch A Wave”, the rest of the album is pretty underwhelming. About the kindest thing you can say about the album’s other songs is that they’re not as bad as the awful Bruce & Terry surf ripoffs of the same period (which featured future-Beach Boy Bruce Johnston).

Dick Dale & His Deltones (GNP Crescendo) 1975

I had amassed so many surf compilations by the late seventies that the last thing I needed were more Dick Dale songs. I only bought this album because of a single track, “Those Memories Of You”. I loved the spartan demo version that Jim Pewter included as part of the Surfin’ Roots compilation (q.v.). Pewter had written it for Dale, but Dale’s version didn’t surface until the mid-seventies. Alas Dale’s version comes off like a bit of fifties cornball, rather ruining the foggy allure of Pewter’s low-tech original. The rest of the record is the basics, “Let’s Go Trippin’”, “Misirlou”, “Surf Beat”, but is marred by some curious vocal tracks “Peppermint Man”, “Sloop John B” and Dick’s little ego-trip “King of the Surf Guitar”. But Dick was way ahead of his time and he actually was a surfer, all too rare a thing for surf music makers back then.

Golden Summer (2 LPs on United Artists) 1976

Probably the best overview of popular surf music available at that time. Compiled by Joe Saraceno and Jim Pewter it covers the basics from vocal hits from the Beach Boys, Jan & Dean and even some of the insipid Frankie & Annette beach movie tunes. But the best part is the surfing instrumentals from the Frogmen, Ventures and Dick Dale. Some tracks were faux-surfin’ cash-in hits, like the Markettes’ instrumentals and the Tradewinds’ “New York’s A Lonely Town”. The Venture’s cover of “Pipeline” is included instead of the Chantay’s original version.

Surfin’ Roots (2LPs on Festival) 1977

This follow-on compilation to Golden Summer attempts a little more serious look at surf music, chiefly the instrumentals. But it’s marred by the mysterious inclusion of two irrelevant Annette Funicello tunes. It also has several of the same songs as Golden Summer, but has better coverage of instrument tracks from the Pyramids, Frogmen, Rumblers, Denels, Sentinals and Dave Meyer and the Surftones. The Chantays original of “Pipeline” But the real gem is the understated demo tune “Those Memories Of You” by Jim Pewter, which is might be low-fi but has a wonderful ambience.

Five Summer Stories Soundtrack - Honk 1973

I had read some vague allusions to this classic surf film, but finally caught it on afternoon television sometime in 1981. Unlike most surf-o-philes, I didn’t think it was that great a movie (and still don’t). Sure, there were great moments in some of the surf segments, especially of the Banzai Pipeline, and a fascinating segment on skateboarding, but nothing to compete with Bruce Brown’s stuff. The film’s original soundtrack was a mixture of forgettable country-rock crap and some great seventies-era Beach Boys music (“Trader”, “Feel Flows”, etc). But the highlight was the wonderful theme used in the sequence at the Pipeline in Hawaii. The good news is that this soundtrack includes that ‘Pipeline’ instrumental, the bad news is the rest of the soundtrack is that forgettable country-rock crap I referred to. Honk’s music probably relished by the same kind of bong-heads that idolize jam-band-dung like the Grateful Dead. So, aside from their “Pipeline Sequence” tune the rest of Honk record is sonic garbage. And to make matters worse, they removed the Beach Boys songs from the DVD version of the movie, making it even less important. Honk sometimes reforms, alas, and you can bring your hookahs so you’ll actually enjoy their aural rubbish at venues along the Pacific Ocean. Legendary surfer Corky Carroll likes ‘em a lot.

My Beach - Surf Punks (Epic) 1980

Surf Beat 1980 - Jon & The Nightriders 1980

Now the 1970s are perfectly kaput and them 1980s hath arrived matey, therefore it’s not surprising that surf music was prepping for yet another revival. These two albums represent two directions that the second revival (or third-wave, if you prefer) of surf music took. Surf Punks were a combo of surfers that blended fierce localism, Ramones-energy and synthetic-weirdness whipped together with plenty of Zappa-esque silliness. Jon & the Nightriders were carriers of the Dick-Dale flame, retro-to-the-core surf instrumentalists.

I found Surf Punks “My Beach” while visiting a small shopping center in Florida and bought it on the spot as surf music was a pretty rare thing back then, not to mention obviously new surf music and not another repackaged compilation. The Surf Punks, unlike most surf music artists throughout the previous two decades, were actually surfers and were heavily territorial about it. The album’s title track sets the mood for the album with the beautifully crystalized sentiment of;

My Beach,

My Chicks,

My Waves,

Go Home!

Musically the band eschews any olde surf music conventions of reverb-soaked guitars and lush harmonies for a low-tech, low-brow approach. Drew Steele’s Gibson Moderne sounds like it’s amplified through a can of bug spray, Hunt’s bass sounds like suspension-bridge cables and producer Dennis Dragon’s drums sound like they’re buried under dozens of throw pillows. But the group has a surprisingly tactile sound which is well-suited to their torqued takes on the surfing life. The songs are peppered with beer-belches, beach-jargon, dorky asides under a relentless surfeit of goofy synthesizer spikes. Yet buried deep beneath the kooky anthems to the life on the shore, it’s pretty clear these chaps are not the saltwater-addled musicians they pretend to be.

Lyrically Dennis ‘n Drew spin tales of Malibu surf-men with simple wants; waves, tits, beer and waves. They have dreams of Hawaii and nightmares of being drafted into the army, they despise Valleys, weekenders and anyone who doesn’t live within ten minutes of the water. But even the album’s most sophomoric moment, “Big Top”, is relentlessly catchy and all in good fun. YouTube has kept their flame alive and most of their promotional music videos are still there to be experienced.

On the other side of the revival with have the loyalist sounds of Jon & The Nightriders. Centered around guitarist Jon Blair, who had published the first surf music discography just before this record was first released. Though most of Surf Beat 1980’s tunes were new, they sound as though they were recorded back in 1965. There are a few surf chestnuts thrown into the bargain, like “Latin’ia” and Dick Dale’s “Surf Beat” In fact, Dale himself provided the album’s liner notes. Blair plays with a Dick-Dale-like fervor, soaking his Fender Jaguar in plenty of spring-reverb. The best tracks are the Pipeline-esque “Banzai Washout” and “Baja”. Probably the most novel track is his surfed-up version of “Over The Rainbow”. Fun stuff! The following year Blair’s combo released a very good live album recorded a the Whiskey-A-Go-Go.

History Of Surf Music Volumes 1-3 (Rhino) 1982

Thanks to the musical stoke from the Surf Punks and John Blair, suddenly surf music became hip again. A few record companies were keen to cash in and the venerable Rhino issued three volumes, two retro volumes (covering the instrumental and then vocal songs)

The best of the three volumes is the first, featuring a good overview of the instrumental stuff tunes

The second volume is a spotty affair that features the stock vocal hits from the early sixties intermixed with a few oddities like “Surfer Dan” by the Turtles a couple of surprising female surf tunes from Dee D. Hope and The Beach Girls. The collection bottoms out with Bruce Johnston’s awful “Do The Surfer Stomp”, but it’s just one of the many surf’n’drag cash-ins that Johnston made during that era and eventually got him a lifetime gig with Mike Love, which they insist on calling The Beach Boys.

The last volume covers the revival and features a curious mixture of tunes, some excellent, other only tenuously connected with surfing. The Malibooz were a surf band during the original surf craze and then reformed for the revival, but the included track “Hot Summer Nights” has nothing to do with surfing. The same can be said of Steve Goodman’s “Sand In It” and

Summer Means Fun (2LPs on CBS) 1982

Featuring a rather weird, fantasy-esque cover, this equally-weird double-LP was primarily a compilation of Bruce Johnston and Terry Melcher’s collaborations in the early-60s. The songs fall into two categories; Beach Boys covers and Beach Boys rewrites (well, ripoffs.) The backing tracks for “Summer Means Fun” and “Surf City” sound the exactly the same as the ones from Jan & Dean’s singles, so it’s hard to know who waxed them first? The only gem in this derivative compost heap is “Like Summer Rain” from Jan & Dean’s undervalued “Save For A Rainy Day” album. Thrown into the bargain were a rendering of “Pipeline” by Flash Cadillac and Johnny River’s “Help Me Rhonda”. The impact would have been much greater if it was whittled down to a single LP.

OUTRO - CATCH A NEO-WAVE

Thanks to Surf Punks and Jon & The Nightriders, a full-blown revival of new surf music was under way. At first many of the bands were more inclined to follow the retro path, like The Surf Raiders. Even the original Surfaris reformed and issued the tongue in cheek “Punkline”, which owed just as much to the Surf Punks as the originators, The Chantays.

By the time the 80s were in full flood, a new surf-skew had emerged from center of suburban blight in Fullerton, California – Agent Orange. This young power trio took olde surf classics and transformed them into buzzsaw skate-punk rave-ups. But Agent Orange was wise enough not to let their skate-punk vibe be owned by surf nostalgia, and though they occasionally trickled out a surf music chestnut, they left that to the dozens of other surf bands that vied for public attention throughout the 80s.

As far as the new wave of surf were concerned, the Surf Punks' output was sporadic and by the time the 80s fizzed into the 90s, Drew and Dennis went along to their own separate breaks and never worked together since. They ended with a live album (recorded sans audience) in 1988. Some 30 years onward, Dennis Dragon passed away and it doesn’t seem likely Drew will pick up the torch again.

I spent most of the eighties avoiding the ravages of adulthood, generally wasting the whole decade in and out of colleges. And my fascination with synthesizer-based music flowered - ambient, industrial, synth-pop, etc - so I lost almost any interest in surf music and began to loath and despise the golden state. Some fifteen years later I actually tried surfing for the first time in my life. I spent two summers attempting to getting to grips with bellyboarding in the shore break on a few Washington state beaches. I was also interested in the revival of interest in 60s era longboarding, as shortboard surfing was nothing more than a derivative of skateboarding style. Rhino had released surfing mega-set called “Cowabunga” and surf music was actually being used in film soundtracks and suddenly people were diggin’ Dick Dale again.

In the first decade of the new millennium I relocated to SoCal - yep I’d become a despised ‘Val’, living a few short miles from the surf breaks that inspired so much of the music I adored in the seventies. So in a weird way, at the ripe age of forty-five, I started living that California myth. I don’t surf, don’t even want to, but still love the music.

#surf music #surf

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frenchkisst · 4 years

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Rapid coronavirus tests can give results in 15 minutes, but they aren’t a pass for partying or seeing your parents

amzn_assoc_placement = "adunit0"; amzn_assoc_tracking_id = "yourid-20"; amzn_assoc_ad_mode = "search"; amzn_assoc_ad_type = "smart"; amzn_assoc_marketplace = "amazon"; amzn_assoc_region = "US"; amzn_assoc_default_search_phrase = "mouth mask"; amzn_assoc_default_category = "HealthPersonalCare"; amzn_assoc_linkid = "2c631aa26cb7b0099cdbf225e9a1eb52"; amzn_assoc_search_bar = "false"; amzn_assoc_title = "Coronavirus Protection"; amzn_assoc_rows ="1"; A health worker takes a swab from a man’s nose through a glass shield (for safety) in New Delhi, India, on August 8, 2020. Rapid antigen tests for COVID-19 are being provided by the Indian government for free.

Pradeep Gaur/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images

Rapid, on-site coronavirus testing is generally less accurate than tests which are sent back to labs for analysis.

But rapid COVID-19 testing is still a useful screening tool, especially if it’s conducted frequently. It can be cheap, and it’s fast.

A negative rapid test result may still need to be confirmed with a lab test before a person can assume they’re virus-free.

A rapid test can’t be used as a hall pass to get close to other people, or as reassurance that you’re doing a good job preventing yourself from getting sick. The virus is still here.

Visit Business Insider’s homepage for more stories.

Related: What we know about immunity for the coronavirus

Every day, people around the world are becoming makeshift coronavirus detectives, putting long swabs into their mouths and noses, and spitting into straws.

They’re scouring for any rapid in-throat or in-nostril evidence that the novel coronavirus may be at hand — hunting for clear signs that they might have an infection of COVID-19, the disease caused by the virus.

When test results from these swabs and tubes come back negative, minutes later, some go off to play club soccer, or major league sports. Others emerge from the comfort of their cars to attend chic parties in the Hamptons, or venture to summer retreats. Starting next week, theater crowds in the UK will even take rapid coronavirus tests before attending socially-distanced showings of «Sleepless.»

But rapid diagnostic tests for COVID-19, which range in cost from a couple dollars to several hundred and take as little as 15 minutes to yield results, are not fail-safe, nor are they a free pass to live as if the virus does not exist.

Public health experts caution that rapid COVID-19 tests may only pick up about 70 to 80% of all infected people they test.

«I would still say that distancing and outdoor air are your best friends,» Michael Osterholm, director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota, told Insider. «To me, that would provide me much more assurance that I was not going to either get infected, or infect others, than would a rapid-detection test.»

Story continues

Yet from luxe party entrances to pro sports locker rooms and vacation hotspots, gatekeepers are using these tests as a ticket to entry, briefly pausing to register a negative result before letting people go on their way.

People stand in line at a clinic in Long Beach, California offering quick coronavirus testing for a fee, on Monday, June 29, 2020.

Brittany Murray/MediaNews Group/Long Beach Press-Telegram via Getty Images

These tests would be better dispatched as crude monitoring and surveillance systems, aimed not at catching every single case of the virus and declaring people safe to party, but instead dealing with the virus’s still-rampant spread across countries around the globe.

«Point of care tests are extremely useful if you have symptomatic people, or if you’re contact tracing, or if you’re in a place like a nursing home where we’re going to be testing repeatedly,» US coronavirus testing czar Admiral Brett Giroir told Insider during a press call on Wednesday.

«You can lose a little sensitivity, which generally these tests do, because you’re going to have repeat testing.»

Rapid tests tend to be less accurate than PCR diagnostic tests, which have taken days and (sometimes) weeks to get back from labs. Most of these newer, faster turnaround tests are hunting for the presence of antigens, bits of protein that sit on or in the virus, instead of doing a more in-depth scouring for the virus’s genetic code, as the more accurate molecular tests do.

The US Food and Drug Administration cautions that negative rapid test results may need to be confirmed with a more accurate lab test, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says the tests are «generally less sensitive than viral tests.» So far, only three rapid antigen tests have received emergency use authorization from the FDA.

Negative test results can encourage risky behaviorCoronavirus rapid antigen testing conducted from a mobile van in New Delhi, July 23, 2020.

Pankaj Nangia/India Today Group/Getty Images

Even if rapid test results are correct, when negative, they often lead people into drawing false conclusions that they’re safe to take lots of risks without consequence.

«It does send a message basically that if you’re negative at this point, you must be doing something right,» Osterholm said. «When I would say [if] you’re negative at this point, you might just be lucky, and your luck’s going to run out.»

Giroir stressed that the incubation period for the virus can often stretch to seven days before people get sick.

«If you’re closely exposed to a [sick] person, if you get a test on day three, it’s negative, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be negative on day four, day five, or day seven, or day 10, or day 12,» he said. «So it still does not obviate your strict adherence to physical distancing, wearing a mask, avoiding crowded places. Do not risk the vulnerable.»

People line up for free, government-sponsored COVID-19 rapid antigen testing on August 17, 2020 in New Delhi, India.

Mayank Makhija/NurPhoto via Getty Images

free rapid covid test india

Giroir expects several more rapid tests to be green-lit for emergency use by the FDA soon — enough to have 40 million point of care tests (the kind that don’t need to be rushed off to a lab’s PCR machine) available in September.

«Random testing of healthy people, just all over the country, is not what we’re advocating for,» he said. «All tests need to be used for the right person, at the right time, in the right situation.»

In addition to the rapid antigen tests, teams of scientists at Yale and at the University of Illinois have also been developing simple spit test protocols that don’t require people to succumb to intrusive, almost brain-scratching nose and throat swabs. Instead, test-takers expel their saliva into vials, and then use that material is tested for the virus in a lab in a process that can take anywhere from several hours to more than a day.

The tests, which should cost about $10 for labs to process, aren’t meant to be precise.

«We’re using the increase for frequent testing of different populations so that we can get a handle on this virus,» Anne Wyllie, one of the researchers behind Yale’s new SalivaDirect test protocol, said.

«This is definitely more for screening,» she said of the protocol, which could «remove infectious people from the chain of transmission.»

The SalivaDirect method (which is a procedure other labs can copy and use, and not a testing kit) just got FDA emergency use approval last week. It could be most useful for «frequent testing» Wyllie said, like at schools, workplaces, and on sports teams.

Saliva, Wyllie said «can be tricky to work with,» but the process she’s developed skips some of the usual steps of other lab testing for the coronavirus, and she’s hopeful that the ease of collecting spit will help speed diagnoses up, especially in the critical early days of an infection.

«Imagine if they had overnight labs running, and you deposited your saliva sample before you went to bed at night,» she said. «Then your results were out by the morning.»

Even if these kinds of screening measures pick up just seven in every 10 coronavirus cases they test, that’s far better than picking up none.

But it’s still not an indication that it’s safe to get cozy again with whoever you want.

Read the original article on Business Insider

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from RSSMix.com Mix ID 11634933 https://ift.tt/32fEb5D

#RSSMix.com Mix ID 11634933

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Galactica, Chapter 6 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Hey there darlings! Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Last Chapter: Fame’s email about a collection reconceptualization had everyone in a panic.

This Chapter: Pearl does her boss a solid, and then the dreaded meeting occurs...

***

Pearl Liaison wasn’t a genius, but it didn’t take one to figure out that today would be a rough one.

The company was in quiet chaos, everyone trying their absolute best not to alert their superiors that they were freaking out, her own staff included, but Pearl could see it on them easily.

Pearl had spent the morning putting together a deck of research based on current trends, her and Trixie emailing back and forth as her best friend tried to keep his department under control. By the time she handed the flash drive to one of the marketing interns to print out, it was almost 1.

Pearl could have gone to the cafeteria, but instead, she skipped out and took a trip to Max’s studio. The Brit wasn’t in, but Pearl unlocked the door, walking past all the equipment and out onto the small rooftop terrace that was connected to Max’s workspace for the instances when he needed natural light.

Pearl dumped down, lighting a cigarette, and closed her eyes, the late summer sun shining down on her.

She felt her phone buzz, messages ticking in one after the other.

My office now

Please

Hello?

Pearl why are you not answering your messages?

Pearl smiled and rolled her eyes. She texted a quick ‘on my way’ as well as a winky face as she got up, popping a piece of gum before she made her way back into the building.

Violet was gone from her desk when Pearl got back to Fame’s office—the woman no doubt setting up the same meticulous way she normally did. Pearl sauntered into Fame’s office, a smirk on her face as she closed the door behind her.

“Finally,” Fame said, a bit of a testy edge to her voice. She was sitting behind her desk, and Pearl could see from the pink of her lip that she had been chewing it. “I’ve been calling Patrick, but his assistant says he’s unavailable because they’re going over the settlements for the month, can you believe-”

“A pleasure to see you too.” Pearl locked the door. “So, I assume this isn’t another official meeting?”

Fame sighed, a little crease appearing between her eyes.

“Fame? Pearl asked, a bit more gently. “Are you okay?”

“No, of course I’m not okay.” Fame leaned back in her chair, groaning. “We’re about to re-do the whole collection, start from scratch, and what if it’s a disaster?”

“No one is forcing you to change anything-”

Pearl was cut off as Fame raised a perfect brow.

“All I’m saying is that we could just use the collection that you approved last week.”

“I know we could, but it’s not good enough. It needs to be transcendent.”

Pearl gazed intently at her, blue eyes taking in her beloved boss—unable to understand why she always put such tremendous pressure on herself, but admiring her all the same.

“Anything I can do for you, Miss?” Pearl asked, adding the sleepy drawl to her voice that she knew Fame adored.

“Please,” Fame pushed away from her desk with her bare foot, and she realized that she hadn’t even seen when she had slipped out of her shoes.

Pearl’s mouth turned up in a lopsided grin, walking forward and sinking to the floor.

“Hello.” She dropped a light kiss inside Fame’s knee. Fame’s skin was always perfectly smooth, always a little cold to the touch, and her smell was intoxicating.

Fame lifted her hips slightly, allowing Pearl to reach under her skirt and pull her panties off, spread her thighs. She ran her hands through Pearl’s hair, tangling her fingers into the unruly blonde tresses and then pulling her forward.

Pearl pushed her skirt up, letting her fingers graze over Fame’s pussy until her breath hitched. Her mouth moved to Fame’s inner thigh, placing a soft butterfly kiss against her, feeling fists tighten in her hair.

“Will you hurry up? The meeting is in fifteen minutes.” Fame punctuated her statement with a sharp tug on Pearl’s hair, causing her to giggle.

“Yes, Miss.”

Pearl suppressed her urge to torment her with soft, gentle kitten licks until she squirmed in pain, and got down to business. Her tongue swirled around Fame’s swollen clit, humming lightly, enjoying the dizzying pressure of Fame’s thighs against her ears. She reached up, hands slipping under Fame’s blouse to find the soft lace of her bra, pinching her nipples, making her gasp with pleasure.

It took a shockingly short amount of time before Fame was on the edge, biting on her fist to keep quiet as Pearl’s tongue worked its magic. She clasped Pearl’s hands to her chest, aching with need as she tried to push the girl’s hand down.

“Fingers, please,” Fame choked out, and Pearl complied immediately, sliding two fingers easily inside her, curling forward just so, pausing for a moment to look up at her, gray eyes dark and liquid, before stroking her from the inside.

Fame fucked down against her fingers, heart racing, body tight like a coiled spring. And when Pearl began to suck on her clit, the vice grip she had on her hair tightened even more, her other hand covering her mouth as she did her best to stifle her moans.

She came hard against Pearl’s face, giving her a surge of pride, tongue continuing to swirl until she whimpered in pain.

Collapsing back against her chair with a deep sigh, Fame took Pearl’s face into her hands, tilting her chin up, admiring her own glistening mess for a few moments before handing her a tissue.

“You should go clean up. The meeting’s starting in five minutes,” she told her affectionately.

“Maybe it’ll even start a few minutes late?” Pearl asked, laying a cheek against her thigh. “Give me a chance to grab the decks from my office?”

“Are you asking me for special favors?” Fame said, feigning shock with a hand pressed to her chest.

“Sorry, Miss. It won’t happen again, Miss,” Pearl said with a sparkle in her eye, rising to her feet.

“Although, you know, it’s possible for me to be slightly delayed, I suppose.”

Pearl laughed and pressed a kiss to her forehead, giving her a cheeky wink as she left the office.

***

Luckily, Fame wasn’t the first one to arrive in the boardroom, Trixie was.

Violet hated meetings where Fame didn’t follow her schedule because Fame was always on time, everyone else was simply too late or too early.

Trixie had brought two stuffed rolling racks filled with sample pieces from the design department, and armfuls of sample cards with different fabrics.

He had smiled gratefully when Violet had come to help him, the two of them quickly spreading out the best of their current collection so everyone would have a chance to share their input.

What little hair Trixie had was sticking out in all directions, his hand running through it again and again in what Violet could only assume was frustration.

“Are you okay?” Violet wasn’t generally one to ask how others were doing, but Trixie was a kind man, and it seemed like he needed the support.

“My entire department is in a panic.” Trixie groaned, “but it could have been a lot worse. Without you, and without your warning, we would have been seriously screwed.”

He sat down, crossing his arms.

“Who gives a six hour deadline for an alleged complete collection change, anyway?”

Violet bit her lip. She didn’t like going behind Fame’s back, but the look of extreme gratitude in Trixie’s eyes had convinced Violet she had done the right thing for the company, even if she had betrayed Fame’s trust.

The next one to come in was Alaska, who waved at Violet with a smile on her face, followed by Raja and Alyssa who were deep in conversation, while Pearl strolled in as the last one in an entirely new outfit from when Violet had seen her earlier that same day.

Violet quickly took her spot in the corner, the role of an assistant to disappear whenever she was not spoken to.

Fame would be there any minute, and Violet was fiddling with the bottom of her dress, absent-mindedly tugging on a small piece of thread.

It was one of her worst habits, nervous energy always settling over her like a suffocating blanket, and Violet couldn’t help but do something, anything, with herself to distract from the feelings she had inside.

At last, Fame arrived, closing the door behind her. “Where are my sketches, Violet?”

Everyone turned to Violet, and she wished the earth would swallow her up. “Right here Miss!”

Violet grabbed the big folder she had forgotten on the drinks table, taking two long steps to give it to her boss.

Fame had given Violet a stack of sketches after her meeting with Raja, the stroke of the pencil absolutely Fame’s, and Violet couldn’t believe that she had been lucky enough to see an original sketch for her bosses hand, Fame barely ever drawing anymore.

“Did you copy these?”

“Yes Miss.”

“Divide them.” Fame snapped the folder closed. “That’s all.”

Violet nodded, quickly doing as she was asked. She stood for a moment, her eyes meeting Raja’s, and with a short nod from her.

Violet had never been so happy to be sent on a coffee run, but as the editors buckled down, she couldn’t wait to escape the room.

***

“And see this color?” Fame held up a shirt, showing it off to the boardroom. “In the sketches, it was youthful and an interesting statement, but with this lace it looks like we’re catering to age fetishes. The Galactica customer is an adult woman who has her life together.”

Pearl sighed. They’d been at it for hours. Going through the collection piece by piece, Fame happily tearing most of it to shreds, only a dress made by April and two jackets from Betty surviving into the “maybe” pile.

“I don’t hate this skirt...“

Pearl drummed her pencil against the table. It wasn’t that she disliked these meetings, wasn’t that she didn’t like watching a good panic, but she was both frustrated and bored, and Violet wasn’t even there for her to look at or flirt with.

“But the print just isn’t right,” Fame sighed, “This isn’t it.”

“One of our vendors in Italy sent us this floral fabric-” Trixie reached over the table, grabbing one of the sample cards that Gia had come up with.

“Florals,” Fame raised a brow. “For spring? Groundbreaking.”

Pearl bit her lip. She could see the genuine hurt on Trixie’s face, could see how he got burned by Fame’s quick and harsh dismissal of his idea.

“Anyone have a different suggestion?”

No one said anything, and Pearl couldn’t blame them—after all, most of the suggestions anyone had made so far had been immediately shot down. And Fame’s catlike eyes scanned the room, poised to pounce on anyone who dared to open their mouths.

“Did anybody come to work today? All I ask for is staff who know how to deliver, and so far all I see is unwearable prints and tired, reductive suggestions.”

Raja coughed, stopping Fame from going off completely.

“All I ask for is a little bit of some extraordinary brilliance.”

Pearl sighed. She loved Fame, she did, but it was borderline psychotic to ask for brilliance.

“I want something fresh, something different, something—” Fame waved her hand. “We’re not being innovative enough.”

Pearl picked up Fame’s sketches, leafing through them slowly as Raja started speaking, everyone else immediately listening to the authority in her voice.

“Maybe we should go the Victorian route,” Pearl suggested, looking up at Fame questioningly.

“Did you hit your pretty head? I asked for innovation.”

“Wait a second,” Trixie said, jumping up and pawing through the rolling rack of new, proposed looks. He began to pull out a few pieces, tossing them onto the table.

“The aesthetic is coming back, I swear,” Pearl said. “At least among the fashion students.”

“So what do you suggest? Long sleeves and sexy ankles?” Raja asked.

“Long sleeves, high necks, knee length skirts. If we focus on materials like chiffon, silk and lace we could meet the aesthetic.” Pearl knew that this idea might very well get shot down, like all the others, but she was determined to at least give it a fair shake.

“Look,” Trixie said, holding up the pieces he’d found. “Imagine this skirt, but with the hem dropped 4 inches? Or this jacket, but over a high-necked chiffon blouse. Or this pant...it seems like the Victorian idea is already on the designers’ minds. Pearl is definitely onto something.”

He’d seemed to perk up considerably at the idea, grabbing a pencil to make a few quick sketches.

“It wouldn’t be the same old Victorian stuff we always see. It would just be like, using the Victorian lines and detailing in a modern way.”

“Let our customers look and feel the part of prudish power,” Pearl enthused, wiggling her brow.

“I don’t hate it,” Raja said, and everyone at the table looked at Fame, waiting with baited breath to see what their CEO would say.

After an excruciating pause, she finally said, “I don’t either.”

A huge sigh of relief rippled through the boardroom, but it was short lived, Fame making sure they knew that they weren’t done.

“But we need a new color story,” she said. “Something that sets it apart.”

“We have this pink fabric on—” Trixie picked up one of the sample cards, only to have Fame immediately shake her head.

“We used that same pink two years ago, Trixie,” she sighed. “Just when I started to think that maybe your brain had finally joined us, there it went. Out the window.”

Trixie closed his mouth, dejection written all over his face.

Raja sorted through the sample cards, pulling one out and drawing on it.

“If we go to the jungle, use some gold, I think we could be onto something with this palette.” Raja held up the card, mostly rich greens with pops of gold and a smattering of other colors.

“What’s that?” Fame asked, looking at her sketch.

“A Melati Putih. Indonesia’s national flower. It’s cream-colored with vibrant green leaves.”

“It’s beautiful,” Fame stated, looking almost disappointed at her inability to find anything wrong with the suggestion.

“Trixie, can you do something with this?” Raja asked, a note of uncharacteristic kindness in her voice.

Trixie nodded, taking Raja’s sketch, already searching on his tablet for pictures of the flower.

“Alright…” Fame said slowly. “I suppose that’s an interesting direction...”

“Thank fucking Christ,” Pearl muttered, biting her lip when she realized that she’d accidentally said it out loud.

Fame looked at her sharply. “Really, Pearl.”

“I mean...it’s just so great that you’re happy, Miss,” Pearl said with a flutter of lashes.

“I don’t want anyone to think that this is the end of the discussion. Trixie, I’m giving your team two days to work with this new concept and then we’ll have a presentation on Thursday morning. Think big, bold, exciting. Alaska, work closely with Trixie’s team and make sure we’re coming up with at least 3 new eyeshadow palettes that compliment the color story. Alyssa and Pearl, pull together as many Victorian-styled campaigns as you possibly can. I expect comprehensive pitches for the new campaign from you both on Monday next week, including labeling and artwork for the makeup line, once we have a clearer idea of how the clothes look. And all of you will be expected to give a full report of your new budgetary needs to Jaida by Friday, including where you can cut to make up for the expedited timeline.”

Everyone nodded, noting down their individual instructions.

“...But for now,” Fame continued, “I guess you’re dismissed.”

***

“Violet girl, you don’t know how much I love you right now.”

Violet laughed. She had returned right after the meeting had ended to clean everything up and collect what Fame had approved and would need.

“It couldn’t have been that bad. Fame was smiling when she came into her office.”

“Oh, it was that bad, I swear I nearly shat my pants several times over. Who does that to people on a Monday?”

Violet giggled. Trixie was being dramatic, but Violet knew how much Fame valued him.

“You definitely saved my life, but most importantly my sanity. If she wasn’t so brilliant, I’d hate it when she changed her mind, but because of the results, it’s almost worth the shitstains.”

***

“Cheers!” Violet yelled, lifting her glass and gesturing to the people who were sitting around the table. Alaska, Max, Kim, Shangela, Jaida, Katya, Trixie and Pearl were all there, and Violet was on her third gin and tonic, feeling amazing.

Pearl had insisted that everyone had to go out and celebrate the fact that they were still alive.

Violet had wanted to go home, but Pearl had touched her arm and asked her to come, and she couldn’t say no.

The rumor that the design department was going out for drinks had spread throughout Galactica and the bar was filled with their coworkers. Violet had never expected that a bar could be this full on a Monday night, but the rumor of a Galactica party had traveled through the city, and now everyone who tried to be anything was there.

“To Violet!” Trixie said, a smile on his face.

“To Violet!” Everyone else agreed, glasses clicking as all of them drank.

“I-” Violet could feel herself blush. “Thank you-”

“Come dance with me!” Katya smiled, and Violet couldn’t resist as the blonde Russian dragged her towards the dance floor.

Katya was a fabulous dancer, completely unashamed of herself even as she made moves that had Violet doubling over in laughter. Violet and Katya had attempted vogue-ing, which had released one of the hyena laughs from the blonde that Violet was becoming addicted to, making the night even more perfect. Trixie came out, joining Katya in what could only be described as a dance-off between idiots. Violet retreated a little, letting the music decide how she danced, sipping her drink and swaying to the beat by herself.

It still felt strange to dance, still felt weird to let the music guide her without any rules, without someone looking at her, but she was getting better, less and less alcohol needed every time she gave herself over.

Pearl came over, her arms sneaking around Violet’s middle, and they had danced together, the music deciding the rhythm of their hips.

She knew she was into Pearl, had been since the first time they met, but lately she had felt something shift between them, Pearl paying her more attention than she ever had before.

“You’re beautiful, Violet.” Pearl smiled, and Violet could smell the rum on her breath, their faces so close together, their dancing making her wetter than she had been in years.

“Thank you.”

Pearl laughed, pulling Violet even closer, a hand on her hip. She could feel her breath against her face, the two of them so closely together.

Pearl reached up, pushing a bit of Violet’s hair behind her ear, and then, they were kissing.

Violet felt her stomach burst with fireworks, her fingers twitching. Pearl was an amazing kisser, her lipstick sticky in the sexiest way, her grip on Violet’s hip tightening.

Pearl had complete control of the kiss, and Violet wanted to disappear into her forever.

They pulled apart, Pearl’s blue eyes filled with mischief, and Violet felt a rush of heat at the sight of her lipstick smeared all over Pearl’s face.

“Hey-” Pearl smirked, clearly leaning in for another kiss, and Violet wanted to lean in, she did, she really did, but then, Violet felt her hand move on its own, pushing on Pearl’s shoulder, her mouth opening without her consent.

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

#rpdr fanfiction #thedane #veronica #galactica #lesbian au #fashion au #pearlet #smut #fame x pearl #violet chachki #miss fame #pearl liaison #trixie mattel #raja gemini #katya zamolodchikova

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anavoliselenu · 4 years

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blood chapter 12

The phone on my nightstand rang but I wasn't getting it for anything.

I still had two hours before I had to get up for school and whoever was calling was just going to have to call back later.

After the sixth ring, I decided to pick up but I wasn't going to be happy about it, "Hello." I nearly growled.

"Good morning, Selena." My father's voice said, "I just wanted to call and see how you were doing?"

"Dad, I just spoke to you a couple of days ago."

"I know but I just feel bad that we don't talk more."

"Are you sure it's not because you miss me?" I laughed.

"I'm just making sure you're okay. I barely hear from you."

"I recall you telling me not to call but once a week."

"Yeah…that was then. How's school?"

I sat up in bed, "Fine. The classes are getting easier now that I'm more adjusted."

"Good, good. I expect exceptional grades."

"I know you do. How are you?"

"Fine. Just sitting here getting ready to go to work."

"So you decided to call me at, seven in the morning, which is like five over there?"

"I was bored." He admitted with a deep chuckle, "I hope you're not getting into trouble out there in the big city."

"Uh…no" I said simply.

"That didn't sound very promising."

"I'm staying focused on school." I decided to say.

"Good. No boys I need to meet?"

"No, I'm just the same old me." I lied, playing with the edge of my blanket.

"Well, I just wanted to call and talk about your mother. She's been riding me since you left that she wants you to visit."

"I know but it wasn't like we saw each other so much after I left." I rolled my eyes.

"She just misses you, we all do."

Charlie and I hung up when he had to leave for work and I set the phone back down on the nightstand, not really wanting to resume my sleep.

I moved the covers and traced the scratch marks on my leg that started near my left knee and went up for a couple of inches.

It had been a week since Halloween and I don't think I would ever forget that night. It all happened so quickly that I still wasn't sure what I was involved in but thankfully, Justin was there.

That whole weekend was a blur and I knew that I was in a dangerous situation but what was I supposed to do? I couldn't just leave Justin because my heart wouldn't let me. That being said, I never thought that my life would be in literal danger because of who he socialized with.

When that bitch Vienna came up and started talking to us in Plasma, I didn't think anything of it or the bodyguard who she brought around. I was over the whole 'my boyfriend is a gangster' thing. I know that I shouldn't be but I wasn't a normal girl. I had absolutely no self preservation instinct, which was slightly disturbing but I couldn't change that.

I knew what I wanted and it was Justin. If that came with his dark side then I was going to have to deal with it.

What I wasn't expecting was to be kidnapped by some gigantic football player. I didn't even hear him come up behind me and just felt the dude's hands on my wasit as he bounded my body in thick rope. He didn't say a word and just lifted me on his shoulder. I tried to scream and kick but nothing was working.

Like I was calling him in my head, I saw Justin round the corner to chase after me and then he went into animal mode. Justin literally beat the shit out of whats-his-name. The weird thing was that I wasn't fazed when I saw Justin attack. He thought that I would be scared of him but I was just glad that he was there.

I should have been terrified. I should have ran away and never looked back but I couldn't. Something in my mind was rationalizing Justin's horrible double life and I couldn't explain it.

It wasn't that I just accepted all of this because that's not how it was but I chose to internalize my debates. Justin didn't need to know that I was scared out of my fucking mind. He didn't need to know that it was hard to wrap my brain around all of this. I knew that in the end, I wouldn't leave him but the road up to that point was one I had to walk alone. I wanted to appear like nothing was bothering me or he would get worried. I knew him well enough to notice that.

We still hadn't really talked about that night, why, I didn't know but if hew wasn't bringing it up then neither was I.

I decided that it was time to get out of bed and lifted myself up, trudging towards the bathroom. After my long, warm shower and the completion of my morning routine, I dried off before dressing in jeans along with a thick sweater.

The first week of November came with an uncharacteristic flurry of early winter snow. It wasn't a lot and only lasted for a couple of hours but it was still enough to bring out the heavy coats and boots. The heat of summer was officially gone.

When it was time, I threw my backpack over my shoulder and went into the elevator that was closing. I made it in right before the doors snapped shut. I would have rather waited instead of being trapped in there with Janice.

"Hi Selena" She waved annoyingly.

"Hi." I answer simply.

"Did you have a good Halloween? I know I did. I met this guy at some party and we had sex. Did you have sex?"

I didn't even bother answering that question.

"Well anyway, he came over last night so I guess you're not the only one with gentleman callers, huh?"

"I guess not."

"It isn't a competition or anything but my guy is way hotter than yours."

I couldn't help my words, "I highly doubt that."

"It's true. We'll have to double sometime."

I tapped my foot, praying that the elevator would go quicker or that someone would step on to save me from this girl.

"Did you get your CD?" She asked

"What CD?"

"The one I put under your door last week." Janice bobbed her head to the music on her iPod.

I kind of didn't know what to say and the breath was knocked out of me. I had to hold onto the railing before I fell over.

"That was you?"

"Yeah, some dude paid me a hundred dollars to slip it under your door." She shrugged, "Did you get it?"

"Yeah, I got. Someone actually paid you?" I asked, trying to stay casual.

"He sure did. He was cute too." She thought out loud.

"What did he look like?"

"Really tall, dark skinned, short black hair. He said his name was Jacob and I was supposed to tell you that but you weren't home and I kind of forgot until now."

"Jacob…Black?" I muttered.

"That was his name. Was it porn?" Janice inched closer to me.

Thankfully the doors opened and I went into the lobby, quickly avoiding her. I pulled the hood of my coat over my head and started off to my first class.

I sat in my seat and texted Justin the news that I had just learned. Jacob was after me and we had suspected that but now we had some proof. Justin said that he would "take care of it". That's what he had been saying for the past week when he had business to deal with. I didn't ask questions because I was still getting used to this but I suspected what he was doing on his nights out with his brothers.

No one acted any differently though.

As the day progressed, the minutes seemed to get longer and longer. Seth wasn't in math, which I found kind of strange but I didn't pay any attention to it. I dutifully completed my work and took notes in preparation for finals in the coming weeks.

By the time lunch rolled around, I was ready to just pass out on my bed but the day was made slightly better by the fact that Justin kept texting. I couldn't help but smile at his words or laugh at his silly attempts of jokes.

He told me that we were going out for a nice dinner tonight because there was something he needed to tell me. I was all in favor of just skipping dinner and heading right up to his apartment but he said that I was trying to outsmart him. I had no idea what he wanted to say. I figured it was going to be something bad since the message had that kind of tone to it.

For the most part, I just sat in class and tried to soak up all the information that I could, without looking too bored.

Finally, the day ended after a brutal discussion on Herman Melville in literature and I made it up to my room without any distractions.

As soon as I closed the door, my phone started ringing.

"Hello." I picked up and threw my backpack on the bed.

"Hi, how was your day?" Justin asked and I could hear the roar of his car in the background.

"Good, nothing to report but I have paper due at the end of the week." I pulled my coat off.

"On what?"

"Moby Dick. I think I'm supposed to compare the sea to the world or something like that."

"I have an early 19th century copy of Moby Dick in my library."

"I bet you do Mr. Showoff."

He laughed, "I was just calling to say that I'm on my way."

"But I'm not dressed yet, I thought you said we're not going to dinner until seven." I looked at the clock that read five.

"Can't I just spend time with you?" Justin said in a joking voice.

"I guess."

"I'll be at the front in about ten minutes."

"I'll sign you in."

We hung up without an 'I love you' or any type of goodbye for that matter. Actually, since last weekend, neither of us had said it again and I couldn't figure out why.

I knew that Justin was probably never going to utter those words lightly and it would take him a long time to get used to the idea but he said that he loved me. That was good enough. I don't know why I never said it again but on some level, I didn't think that I had to. He knew how I felt and I showed him every day so it just seemed redundant. I know that makes no sense but I didn't have any other way of explaining it.

I picked myself up and went downstairs to the proctor station to wait for Justin. He drove up in his silver Aston Martin, not even bothering to park it legally, and stomped through the inch layer of snow in his charcoal gray suit. I was about to die right there, my lower half suddenly needed some attention.

Good thing we had two hours.

He pulled open the front door and shivered slightly from the temperature change.

"Damn, I hate the cold." He said and came up to me, pulling out his wallet.

"This is nothing compared to a Forks winter." I took his I.D and handed it to the proctor.

"I don't think I've ever been to Washington." Justin kissed the top of my head, "Is it nice?"

"It's boring." I took the id back from the proctor after he signed Justin in.

We got into the elevator and I pushed him against the wall as we went up.

"Eager, aren't we?" He smirked and descended on my lips.

"I am more than a little sexually frustrated right now." I moved my hands to his hair where they took their place in tangles.

"That's why I got here early." He lifted me up easily and pressed us against the back wall.

His lips took over, strong yet tender, as they molded into mine. His tongue didn't even bother asking for permission as it dove into my mouth with reckless abandon and I sucked gently, trying to pull him impossibly closer.

My legs wrapped around his waist so tightly that I couldn't feel the blood flowing through my veins.

"Selena, you're about to bite my lips off." Justin mumbled through kisses.

"Oh, sorry." I said even though I wasn't.

"There will be more time for this when we get inside." He wouldn't let me go as he carried us out of the elevator and down the hall towards my room.

"Why do you have so many layers on?" I asked and pulled a scarf from around his neck.

He took the key from my hands and hastily fumbled with it behind my back. The door swung open and he kicked it closed.

"If you haven't noticed, it's freezing outside." Justin set me down on the bed and began kissing my neck with as much fervor as I had in the elevator.

"So, it takes forever to get you naked." I pushed the heavy coat from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor.

"Why are you talking so much?" He lifted my shirt up quickly.

"Because I'm nervous" I started with the buckle of his belt, ripping it off his body with one quick movement, "I'm always nervous when it comes to you."

"That's good to know." He pushed me down, taking my jeans off easily, "Why are we going so fast?"

"Because the last time we had sex was a week ago. You can't tell me you're not about to combust." I watched as Justin unbuttoned his shirt and folded it.

"Be that as it may, you are some kind of nymphomaniac." He grinned, "Did I do that to you?"

"Definitely" I pulled him back over me to capture his lips in mine as I laid in nothing but my cotton panties and bra.

He moved his lips from my neck and kissed my chin up to my mouth where he stayed as his right hand massaged my breast and his thumb gently caressed my jaw.

His hand tilted my head back so our eyes met.

His deep green eyes were studying me with such passion that I was about to explode. His right hand was now buried underneath my hair as his thumbs glided back and forth on my jawbones. I saw his jaw twitch as he closed his eyes and lowered his forehead onto mine with our noses touching tip to tip. Our mouths brushed against the outer ridges of our lips.

"Selena, you have no idea how happy I am with you. I might not say it but it's true."

"I know and I feel the same way."

"I…I think I love you." He sighed, his breath washing across my face.

"You said think again. What do you feel?"

"I feel like…I think I love you." He chuckled, "I'm working on it." He kissed me softly.

"I can't believe the beast is tamed."

"He will never be tamed. He's just sleeping, hibernating for the winter." Justin clarified.

"Gotcha" I knotted my fingers in his hair, "I guess you could categorize us as lovers but then again, we feel so much more for each other and I can't really explain it…"

"Shhh...you're talking too much." He swallowed my words.

He interrupted me as his lips pressed into mine. I meshed mine against his and slowly our tongues slid into each other. My hands left his hair and wrapped around his back, squeezing us closer. Our mouths moved fervently and hastily as we violently exhaled out of our noses. My pussy and his cock were pressed tightly and became tighter as I wrapped my legs around his hips, clasping at the ankles and pulling his ass even closer into me. If he didn't have his pants on, his cock would be nestled inside of me already.

"You have to take your pants off." I mumbled.

"Oh yeah" His hands quickly undid the button and he pushed them as far down as they would go. I kicked them off further and they fell from the bed, "I would normally need to fold those but my dick is too hard to care. I'm hurting down there."

"Good"

He broke away from our entanglement, panting, and chest heaving.

His hand ran through his disheveled hair, making it worse. I sat up on my elbows, legs parted-giving him a view of everything. His eyes wandered from my face, down my chest, to my stomach and then zeroed in on my most intimate part. Lust filled his gaze as his tongue slowly wet his bottom lip.

"Geez…" Justin breathed in a whisper.

I stayed silent as his eyes continued to roam my body.

I sat up on my knees, hands on my thighs and stared back. My lips were barely opened and my skin began to creep from the temperature of the air.

"Is there something you wanted?" I asked and moved closer to him. Justin was quite the site in just his boxers but I tried to stay focused.

I stroked the top of his dick in his boxers and his body shivered.

"No, I just don't want to hurt you like I did that one time. I've been too fast."

"No you haven't. I told you that." I continued to stroke him through his underwear.

"Selena, we have to go slow. I don't want to put you in any pain." He warned with sad eyes.

"Then let me lead." I kissed him and climbed into his lap. We repositioned ourselves so that I was lying on top of him and I felt his dick grow almost painfully hard in his boxers.

I let my eyes roam his body like his had done to me.

His muscles looked as if someone had taken a chisel and carved the valleys in his skin. He was toned, cut, sharp, soft and lean. Little sprigs of hair lightly flecked his pale chest, making it that much sexier.

Our eyes traveled back up to meet again. I wanted him, more than any other human being. The look mirrored back at me said he felt the same towards me. The urge to lunge towards him was almost asphyxiating.

I found myself straddling his hips with one of his hands pressed on my lower back and the other twisted in my hair, bringing it up off my neck. Our mouths collided with fiery passion that brought forth deep breathing, pants and groans that only animals would be able to decipher. My fingers were wrapped in his hair. I pulled as hard as I could just to make sure it wasn't a toupee.

Throughout all of this, Justin had hooked his fingers into my panties and began sliding them down my legs without even giving me warning. I don't know how but they were off in a second. I actually think that he ripped them.

I'm not complaining.

As we played tug-o-war with our mouths, he pressed my hips firmer into his groin and I rolled onto him so that I could feel everything between my legs. His cock was rock hard and strained the fabric of his boxers, trying to break free. I sought to release it, to have my hands and mouth wrapped around the warm, engorged flesh but I knew Justin would never let me go down on him. He said I was too good but I was determined to break him one of these days.

His abdomen was hot, smooth and made me want to rub my bare skin against it.

I could feel him under me as he pulled off his boxers and flung them somewhere back aside. A gasp escaped my lips as I felt his hardness against my stomach. I still couldn't get over how big he was.

"I have to be on top." Justin flipped us over so seamlessly that I didn't even notice it.

"Wrap your legs around me," He roughly demanded.

I did as I was told.

My legs opened wide when I felt his hand guide them apart. When his body made contact with mine, I let out an embarrassing moan. He rested his cock directly on my pussy, parting the lips with his head, and stroked back and forth on my clit.

Small screams flowed out of my mouth as I threw my head back into the comforter and arched my back, thrusting my tits into his chest. He took the open invitation and devoured a breast after removing my bra, throwing it to the floor.

His hot tongue circled my nipple and then flicked it before his lips eased up and enclosed the taut pinkness. He suckled hard as his hand groped my other breast and his fingers pinched the nipple.

My loud moans echoed off the walls. I was going to be getting complaints soon but I didn't care. Everything was blacked out, everything but him. Justin had moved his lips from my breast and was now devouring my neck with open-mouthed kisses. The hot breath from his throat heated my skin to a near boiling point.

I turned my head, giving him better access. His left hand had moved to the base of my skull as his right hand hitched my leg up over his hip further.

His cock was full on fucking me without entering me and it was painful as he rubbed his bursting length against my lower half. The friction on my clit, his assault on my breasts, neck, and mouth were almost nirvana; but I knew it got better. I knew when he finally entered me that it would be my true heaven.

We rocked against each other, echoing out moans, grunts, and whimpers.

As he slid back and forth over my cunt, I tried angling my hips in different positions, wanting him to slip into me but he wouldn't allow it.

Justin restrained me with his entire body, pushing me deeper into the bed.

"We will fuck on my terms," He growled into my mouth. "You know better by now."

"I thought you were supposed to be taking it slow?"

"Yeah well you seem to have given up on that."

At the sound of his dominant words, I felt my toes beginning to curl, the coil in my stomach tightened to an almost painful level and my back arched to the point of contortionist abilities. He was bringing me to an orgasm without even being in me. My senses were working on overload as Justin continued to pulsate against my body.

I dug my fingernails into the soft, pale flesh of his shoulder blades and pushed him harder with my ankles.

The head of his dick rubbed against my clit, causing me to moan. He bit his lip, adjusted himself above me. I felt a fiery heat rip through my body as he pierced the head of his cock inside me with one swift motion.

I threw my head back and almost screamed to the high heavens.

Justin worked slowly at first, letting my body get accustomed to his length and girth. I watched as he slid in and out of me as I looked up at him through my lashes.

"God, you're so fucking tight." Justin pushed harder but still gently.

I could only nod in answer.

Once my body was used to him being inside, he picked up the rhythm and started going faster and harder. We pounded against each other, meeting thrust for thrust. He let my legs bend loosely to allow him deeper into me.

The tight friction and him hitting that the right spot every time, brought figurative tears to my eyes.

His hips began gyrating against me so pressure could be applied to my clit while he pounded with enough force to break the bed. I started trying to rotate and roll my hips to meet his. He was so deep within me that each movement sent me skyrocketing once again.

Justin's lips snarled and his face contorted in aggression as he started fucking me harder.

The hammering was amazing. The sheer brutality turned me on even more. I felt my cum running out of me, coating his dick. His thrusts started to sound wet and that was what did it.

Justin let out an almost animalistic growl as I felt him erupt within me, shooting out liquid in jets.

My breathing was to the point of hyperventilating and I could feel the sweat over my body but it wasn't gross. I couldn't move and I didn't want to.

He stayed above me for a long minute, just calming down.

"Holy shit." Justin rolled off of me, bringing my body with him so that I rested on his chest. He kissed the top of my head with soft lips, "You're going to kill me."

"You say that a lot." I looked at him.

"Because it's true."

I looked at the clock that now read six.

"We still have an hour before dinner."

"Shower" Justin said simply and lifted us off the bed, carrying me over his shoulder.

By the time our "shower" was over, my limbs were jelly and my body was about to collapse from sheer pleasure. There was nothing I could do to quell the way Justin's hands worked wonders on my most intimate areas.

"Where are we going?" I asked as I wrapped myself in a towel and stood in front of my wall closet.

"One of Jasper's places" Justin dried off and pulled on his boxers along with his pants.

"I envy men. You just have to step into a suit and you're done." I threw my hands up and I dug through the clothes that Alice insisted I have.

"But you look hotter than I do." Justin wrapped his arms around me.

"So you say." I pushed him off so that I wouldn't get distracted.

Half an hour later, I was in a pair of dark skinny jeans, and a cream colored sweater that wasn't anything special but still looked nice. I put on a black leather jacket that I had never noticed before but guessed that Alice had thrown it in there. I was tempted to just wear sneakers since it was still kind of wet inside but with Justin looking like a model, I couldn't go out in anything less than perfection so I put on a pair of cream colored, booties that had a tall heel and came up to cover my ankle.

"There." I huffed and moved some hair out of my face when I was done, "Do I look good enough?"

"Perfect." Justin chuckled and got up from the bed, pulling his coat over his shoulders.

I made sure I had my key and wallet before he led me out of the room. We stayed connected in the elevator and went down, heading outside into the cold.

He held the door open for me and I slid into the supple leather. Justin started the car and heated it up before we sped off down the street.

"So, what's the occasion?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You said you needed to talk to me so I assume that's what dinner is for."

"Oh yeah, well I wanted to keep you in the loop…like you wanted."

"Right." I nodded in understanding.

"I'll explain it all at dinner." He took my hand and continued to drive.

We pulled up to the front of a nice looking restaurant called Scarpetta and it looked extremely expensive with its Bordeaux red coloring and gold handled doors.

A valet in a vest opened the car door for me and took my hand.

"Welcome, Ms." He smiled and Justin was at my side in an instant.

"Don't scratch the car." He dropped the keys into the valets hand and yanked me towards the entrance.

I decided not to call Justin out on his possessive nature because I knew he would deny everything. He couldn't see the way he acted with me around other men and it was kind of scary.

"How many restaurants does Jasper own?" I asked as Justin led me to the back of a large dining room that was filled with happy looking people and soft glows.

"About ten in Chicago, but more around the country." Justin answered and helped me with my jacket when we arrived at our booth. I slid in easily. He sat across from me.

"This is nice." I looked around.

"This was the place Esme influenced. It's all her doing." He explained.

"I can see that." I said as I saw the rich artwork and old world feel that the place evoked. It was almost like sitting in a restaurant in Tuscany.

A waiter arrived at our table with a huge smile, "Welcome to Scarpetta, can I get you two some wine to start off with."

"Yes please." I said. Justin gave me a scolding look and I deflated, "I'll have water." I sunk into the booth.

"And I'll have a glass of Pinot. I think we'll just have the Italian classic." Justin handed the menus back to the waiter.

"Right away, sir." He nodded and scurried off.

"I can drink if I want to." I crossed my arms.

"I'll just have your father arrest you for illegal alcohol consumption."

"Blah, blah." I sat up straighter, "I think you just like drinking in front of me to make fun of me. Rose does it too."

He laughed, "Well you get very agitated over the simple fact that you're underage."

"I still have three more years until I'm even able to drink. That's so far away and depressing." I sighed.

"At least you're not bordering on middle age." Justin combed through his hair, "I think I had my first hip spasm this morning when I rolled out of bed."

"I would have loved to see that."

Our drinks were brought and Justin just asked for the bottle, pouring me a little when I complained further although I didn't really care about drinking. I just wanted a small taste.

"So, I think we need to talk." Justin began, "We haven't really discussed what happened on Halloween."

"Yeah." I agreed.

"I thought you might want to know what's going on since it has something to do with you."

"I haven't done anything." I crossed my arms on the table and leaned in.

"I think I need to explain further because there were some things that Carlisle left out of his story last week."

"Okay."

Justin let out a deep breath, "Basically, in a mafia family, there is a line of succession that travels down to ensure that there is always a head."

"Right, I've read the Wikipedia sources. It goes from oldest to youngest."

"In most cases but not in ours. I'm the next in line." He took back a gulp of wine.

"After Carlisle?" I asked and he nodded, "But…what about Emmett or Jasper?"

"It doesn't always have to be the oldest. Carlisle can choose whoever he wants and Emmett has certain flaws that won't do him well in this business. Jasper isn't even eligible because he's not Bieber by blood though Carlisle fought for him to gain some kind of position a long time ago. I'm most like my father I guess and that's why he's grooming me to be the leader one day."

"One day?"

"Twenty, thirty years. Tomorrow if he wants." Justin shrugged.

I sat back and thought out loud, "That's a lot on your shoulders."

"Yeah, I'm called Il Principe in our world or the Prince and since our family basically controls everything, I have a lot to live up to."

"I bet."

"People have always been after us but now that there has been a clear line of succession set up, they will start targeting me as the years go on."

"Targeting you as in…"

"Trying to cut the family apart. They'll try to take out the strongest link first but Carlisle isn't even an option. It's all about the future. If I'm gone, we won't necessarily crumble but our family will be a lot weaker."

"What does that have to do with Halloween?" I asked, kind of scared at where this conversation was going.

"We have adversaries and lots of them. Vienna is from the Volturi line and their leader is Aro, her uncle. He's a horrible man but not unlike Carlisle. Then there is James who you met, leader of the Denali's. Several more dot the country but none of them are that important. The main point I'm trying to make is that we have a lot of enemies."

"I would imagine." I said in a whisper. My throat wouldn't let me speak louder.

"After that night, I went to Aro and didn't accuse him of anything because that could be very dangerous but he assured me that he didn't give any orders to Vienna and I believed him because up until then, he didn't even know about you so I'm thinking that Vienna was just drunk and ordered her bodyguard to take you or something. We can't ask him of course since…" Justin let his sentence trailed off.

I nodded.

"Anyway, I have no desire to speak with Vienna again and I think that she knows she's in trouble. Her uncle wasn't very happy with her pranks and he supposedly cursed her out. The point is, that kind of think happens from time to time."

"Justin, I was kidnapped. That doesn't just happen." I stressed to him.

"In my world, it does. Sometimes things turn out worse than what you experienced and that's why I never wanted you to know about any of this. Vienna's reasoning was probably based on jealousy but other people will be after you for other reasons."

"I don't like the sound of that."

Justin looked extremely worried for the first time since I had met him, "I need to make sure that you're safe. By now, Aro and everyone else will know who you are and that's a big deal. I've never had anyone that I've been attached to. They'll hone in on you."

"I don't understand."

"One day, maybe…you might kind of be important to us. It might not seem like it, but Esme, for instance, holds a lot of power in the mafia community. She's Carlisle wife and that alone is serious but she's also got gang related blood running through her so everyone knows to respect her. That doesn't mean that they don't wish she was dead. Without her, my father would be half the man he is today. Everyone knows how much she means to him and they know that he would lose his zeal so to speak. He wouldn't be as effective without Esme."

It took me a minute to process all of this and I suddenly became extremely concerned.

"You're in a lot of danger Selena and I'm sorry. They all realize that you mean a lot to me and if they could, they would use you as a bargaining chip for a whole multitude of things. I don't want to scare you but I'm trying to warn you. You're life is forever changed because of me."

"So…they'll try to get to me because I'm with you." I said, trying to get some clarification.

"Exactly but don't worry. I have your safety under control." He held up his hands.

"Oh, well that's great. Now I don't have to worry at all. What do I get, bodyguards?" I replied sarcastically.

Justin's eyes shifted slightly.

"You can't be serious?" I almost shouted, "This is unbelievable. I can't take this."

"It's for your own good, Selena. I won't have you walking around the streets unprotected and if I can't be with you at all times then I need to ensure that you're safe."

"So what about last week when I was kidnapped, where were they then?"

"The old ones were let go. I've hired new help and they've been doing their job better over the past few days."

"I can't…I don't…I'm so confused and mad right now." I grabbed my purse and scooted out of the booth, "I'm going to the bathroom."

He stood when I left the table, just like a gentleman would but I was too angry to notice his attempts at chivalry.

I stomped to the bathroom in the back of the restaurant and pushed my way through the door. I didn't really need to go so I just stood in front of the mirror and washed my hands.

Is this really what he needed to tell me?

I understood everything he said because I had prepared for it. Of course the Il Principe thing was a little much to accept in one sitting but I suspected something like that. I could put the pieces together in my mind. Justin just seemed like he was being put in charge of more than everyone else and in their family, I could see the lines of division.

I guess it slightly worried me that I was considered unsafe because of his position but what about Alice or Rose? Weren't they in as much danger as me?

I was mad because he never told me about the bodyguards. I didn't like the feeling of people following me when I didn't know about it. Now I was going to be looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.

I dried my hands off and started to go back into the dining room but as I swung the bathroom door open, I hit something hard on the other side.

"Oh, sorry." I said and looked up at maybe the biggest man I had ever seen. He had short brown hair and light gray eyes with a strong face that looked as hard as marble.

"No problem, Ms. Swan." He spoke deeply and calmly.

I sighed and moved a piece of hair out of my face, "You must be my bodyguard I've just learned about."

"One of many, Ms." He held out his plate sized hand, "Benny."

"Selena" I shook it, "Uh…you won't be following me everywhere, will you?"

"Yes, ma'am. Until Mr. Justin deems it unnecessary but I've been with Mrs. Esme for years so I doubt that will happen."

"Esme has bodyguards too?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"Many, Ms."

That made me feel slightly better.

"It was nice meeting you." I began to walk back and then stopped when I felt him follow me, "Uh…could you give me some space?"

"This is space." He looked down and measured our distance from each other.

"Will you be sitting in my classes and following me to the grocery store?"

"I won't be sitting in. I've never been good a school." He made a sad attempt at a joke, "But I'll always be close by."

"Well then welcome to my boring life." I shook his hand again and went back to the table where Justin was working on the last of the wine.

"I take it you met Benny?" He nodded to the man who was moving towards the back of the dining area.

"Such a charming man." I replied.

"He does card tricks. He's really funny. I've known him since I was a kid."

"Aren't Alice and Rose in as much danger as me?" I asked my question that I had in the bathroom.

"No. They do have a certain amount of danger from being associated with us but you're special." Justin took my hand, "They will all want you to get to me. The police obviously know who you are, Aro knows and it's only a matter of time before you meet everyone else in our world. Once they find out you're the daughter of a cop, it will only get worse."

"So I have to look over my shoulder forever?"

"No, that's my job. I'll always protect you and you won't have to ever worry, especially when you're with me but I just wanted to make sure you knew what was going on. We all have security around us. It's just part of our life and now yours."

I breathed out a rush of breath.

"I know I probably scared the hell out of you but…"

"No, no. I understand and I'm glad that you told me." I assured him, "It was just a lot to take in."

"I realize that."

"So…I know that I'm safe, but what about you?" That was my only worry because I guessed that Justin had taken more than enough precautions with me.

"I have a few bodyguards and a gun on me at all times but nowhere near the amount of security I have requested for you."

"Why not? You could get hurt just as much as I could." I said, almost worried.

"I have training, Selena. I know how to take care of myself."

"But anything could happen."

Justin laughed, "You're starting to get gray hairs. Stop worrying about me. I'm just trying to make sure you're safe."

The rest of dinner was used for Justin to explain to me more about what was going on.

I needed details on what I was to expect if I was going to be with him. I felt like I was living in some kind of movie but somehow, I easily understood it all. It made sense to me. I wasn't as scared as I thought I would be because Justin just seemed so sure I would be kept safe. His words and his eyes just held a certain level of security that I couldn't help but believe.

I decided to stay at Justin's that night for one, because he said I had to and two, because I wanted to. He told me that there would always be a guard across the street from my dorm so I didn't have to worry but I was still getting used to this so I decided it was better to be safe than sorry. I didn't have class until later the next afternoon anyway.

That night we didn't do anything but kiss and talk but we still didn't get to bed until three in the morning. I slept next to him easily without any thought of bodyguards or guns or crazy ex-girlfriends. It was peaceful.

The next morning, a shrill ringing woke us both up. Justin almost fell off of the bed to reach it.

"Hello." He growled into the phone, "No…we don't want to go….it's seven in the morning….go by yourself….fine….shut up." Justin slammed the phone down.

"Who was that?" I snuggled deeper into his pillows.

"Emmett. He wants us to go to the gun range."

"Have fun."

"I said us as in all of us."

"But…it's early." I groaned.

"I know." He got out of bed and pulled me with him, "Come on. It'll be entertaining." He dragged me to the shower.

An hour later, we were clean, dressed and Justin had shoved a gigantic cup of coffee into my hands as he drove through traffic.

"I don't see why I have to go." I complained.

"Because shooting is fun." Justin actually smiled.

"So then you go and let me sleep."

"You can take a nap later." He sped up quickly and I stayed quiet as he maneuvered his way through slower cars.

We arrive at a place called Shootout and it looked like a small warehouse. Emmett's Hummer was parked along with a massive Harley. They were the only two vehicles in the parking lot.

Rose, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Alec hopped out of the Hummer when Justin parked.

"Who owns that thing?" I asked Rose and pointed to the motorcycle.

"Jasper" Alice squealed, "He looks so hot on it too. I swear he almost took me right on the seat."

"Too much." Emmett covered his ears, "I won't listen and we have a child present."

"We've done worse." Rose commented.

"But still…I don't want to have that image in my head."

"I bet it would be hot." Jasper licked his lips.

"Can we just get inside? My balls are freezing off." Justin shivered and wrapped and arm around me from behind.

"I can't wait to watch Selena kick some ass with a gun." Emmett pushed us all inside.

A sketchy looking man greeted us in an accent. "Hello, everyone."

"Hiya, Damon." Emmett waved, "We just came to do some early morning shooting."

"Everything's ready in the back."

"Thanks."

We took off our coats and walked through the store that held an impressive collection of ballistics but nowhere near what I saw in Justin's gun vault. I knew the basics of shooting but didn't really have that much experience myself. Charlie taught me though.

The back of the store was a gun range with booths set up, all lined in a row in front of what looked like a cement garage.

"No paper cutouts." I said as I saw the manikins on raised platforms.

"We like shooting bodies." Jasper said coldly and raised an eyebrow.

"How sweet." I took back the last of my coffee and put my jacket on a chair.

"So, the person with the best groupings win one thousand dollars." Rose suggested.

"You know what you're doing?" Justin asked as he put some ear mufflers over my head.

"I'm the daughter of a cop. I know how to shoot."

"Just checking" He smirked, "Can you handle this?" He handed me his golden gun that I couldn't even hold up. It was so heavy that my shoulder felt like it popped out of the socket, "It's called a Desert Eagle; my favorite gun."

"I think I need to work up to that. Give me something smaller." I looked through whatever was behind us in the cabinets.

Emmett choose a massive AK-47, Rose was wielding a scary looking shotgun, Jasper was helping Alice with a smaller pistol since she didn't really know what to do, and Alec was masterfully shoving the magazine into an Eagle like Justin's.

"That's actually one of mine." Justin said to me as we watched Alec, "I gave it to him. It took him two weeks to hold that up. It took me six months."

"But…he's so small."

"He's strong though. He can shot it too without flying backwards. He's a natural."

"Impressive."

"I'm slightly worried about this."

"I don't know much about guns but I know the mechanics of it. Which one should I use?" I looked down into the illuminated gun cabinet.

"How about a Beretta 96D? Those are girl guns." He said seriously.

"I don't need a girl gun." I shoved him.

"Okay, okay." He reached back into the back and pulled out a black, gun with a ribbed handle that was almost as big as my forearm, "This one will do."

"What is it?" I took the pistol from him and it was heavy, really heavy.

"A SigP2022. It's got a lot of kickback so I'll stand behind you. Can you hold it up?"

I could but my arm was already sore, "Just for a little bit."

"That's long enough to get a couple shots off."

Justin moved us towards a booth and turned on the lights so that they were illuminated all the way down to the manikin.

"Okay, so feet shoulder width apart." Justin positioned himself behind me, flush against my body and nudged my legs away from each other, "Stand straight towards the target." He moved my shoulders slightly.

"What about bullets?"

"That's last. You have to get your body position right or you won't ever get a straight shot. Make sure your hips don't shift at an angle and when you raise the gun, lift it straight up to nose level, not too high but not too low."

"Okay." I breathed.

"Can we shoot already?" Emmett yelled.

"Hold on!" Justin yelled back. He reached over my body and took my hands in his, "Now we check the magazine to make sure it's filled and snap it into the handle." He pushed the cartridge in, "Cock it back, take the safety off and we're ready. Simple stuff."

"Got it." I went over the list of things in my head.

"When was the last time you shot something?" Justin chuckled.

"Uh…two years ago." I guessed, "But I'm not afraid of guns. Charlie's taught me before."

"I'll stay here then for your safety." He put the mufflers on his head and raised my arms up with the gun out in front of us, "You ready?"

"Yeah"

"Okay, don't hesitate to press the trigger. If you have a shot then take it. Take in a deep breath…" We both did, "…hold it, and shoot." His finger pulled back on the trigger with mine underneath and my arms shook from the vibrations of the bullet ripping through steel.

I stood firm but if Justin wasn't there, I would have been thrown into the far wall.

"Wow." I fell back against Justin's chest.

"Hey, you cheated." Jasper stuck his head in our booth.

"It was just a test shot." Justin pushed his head away, "You did good. Killed the bastard." He hit a button next to us and the manikin began gliding towards us on a platform. It stopped right in front of me with a hole through his heart.

"Wow." Was all I could say.

"No shaking limbs, no kickback burns." Justin checked over me, "You're a pro. Can you take it from here?"

"Uh…sure." I gave a half-cracked smile.

He laughed at me, "Okay, I won't go anywhere." He stood behind me again and pushed the button so that the body flew back in position.

After half an hour of test practice, I thought that I had gotten kind of good but Justin thought otherwise. He said he wasn't leaving and he meant it. Justin helped me master the gun I had before we tried shooting his Eagle. That didn't go so well and my arms basically feel off after that.

"I think she's good enough to join in the competition." Emmett commented as he looked and my blown up manikin, "Let's do this!"

"We'll be a team. I'm not going anywhere." Justin took off his earmuffs and smoothed out his hair, "You know how to shoot now but can you do it with distractions?"

"Distractions?"

"Yeah, you don't always get a nice gun range in the streets. If someone is going to attack you then they don't set it up all nice and pretty like this."

I began to get slightly scared at the thought of me using a gun for real but if it came to that, Charlie had taught me that in self defense, I could do anything to get away. Little help that did me on Halloween.

"But I just started getting good. I need time to perfect myself." I said.

"No time. " Justin snickered and hit a button above my head. "Everyone ready?"

"Yeah." Jasper replied from the other booth.

"We have to beat Rosalie. She's the best shot besides me." Justin whispered in my ear as he positioned me like he did before.

"Okay." I nodded and checked the gun.

"Fifty shots and the best groupings win." Emmett explained, "In the head, chest or groin. None of that leg, arm shit."

"Is he serious?" I asked.

"Yes." Justin sighed, "He has a bit of a violence problem. We're trying to get him into therapy."

"I bet you're worse."

"If only you knew."

Guns began firing all around me and there was a lot of noise but that was all canceled out by the mufflers I had over my head. As per Justin's orders, I didn't look anywhere but in my eye line so that I didn't get confused.

By my third shot, I had hit the body in front of me, right in the chest but the next one was in the shoulder so that didn't do me any good.

"Remember, don't let the gun move and work through the distractions." Justin said as his hands left my shoulders.

"Where are you going?" I shouted over the bullets.

"Nowhere, just keep shooting."

I nodded and held the gun firm as I continued my bombardment on the poor fake man.

I suddenly felt long, warm fingers under my shirt, right over my stomach.

I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Don't move, Selena." Justin commanded, "You'll hurt someone."

"Stop touching me."

"Work through the distractions." He repeated and repositioned me. His fingers continued to dance across my skin.

This was unfair on the highest level. He knew what he was doing and there was no way that I was going to be able to think straight with his touches on me.

I could basically see the smile on Justin's lips without even turning around as his fingers ran along the waistband of my jeans, just barely touching the flesh of my hips. They dipped lower and into my panties.

My knees almost collapsed but thankfully, Justin was there to hold me up. I dropped my arms, not from pain but from pleasure.

"This can't be safe." I muttered under my breath.

Justin forced my arms back up in the shooting position, "I want to see bullets leaving that gun, Selena."

I started re-firing at his demand but my body was very aware of him behind me and I was just waiting for the attack again.

Justin's fingers didn't even bother with a warning again as they just dug under my panties and the pad of his thumb ran over my clit that was now in need of dire attention.

My arms shook, my legs shook, my core was vibrating with enough forced to rattle a tree from its roots.

"I like this game." Justin whispered in my ear and even with the coverings, I could hear him perfectly.

His index finger ran over my lips and parted them easily before he just finished completely, entering me in one motion.

I shot a bullet into the ceiling and that was enough for me.

I put the gun down and backed up, "You are in so much trouble." I pushed him out of the room, taking off our ear mufflers.

"Where are you two going?" Emmett yelled.

I didn't even bother answering him as I took Justin's keys from his pocket, unlocking the Aston Martin with the button.

"Selena, we're leaving the family behind." He chuckled as I pushed him in the back seat and followed.

"This is your fault." I nearly ripped his shirt off.

Needless to say, we didn't win the one thousand dollars.

I ran my hand along Selena's naked back as we lay in my bed.

We hadn't done anything tonight besides a lot of heavy kissing but I felt exhausted.

The November air was whipping around outside but in here, it was warm and toasty. For some reason, my body was extremely turned on by Selena at the moment and I had a suspicion as to what it was.

Earlier in the week, Selena showed off her stuff at the shooting range and it was the first time I saw her holding a gun with such authority. She was powerful and sexy without knowing what to do but it was hard to just watch her while I stood behind and guided the bullet out of the pistol.

That was three days ago and my dick felt like it had been permanently hard since then. I didn't want to jump her unexpectedly but it was painful to live through this. Maybe I was masochistic but I actually didn't want to have sex with Selena, if that makes any sense. I wanted to see how long she could hold my attention without it being physical.

So far, I had barely thought about fucking her minus the hard on in my pants at all hours of the day but as soon as I was in her presence, I just wanted to hear her speak or laugh. It was strange, but at this point I was just ready to throw in the towel. I had learned that my life with Selena was something I hadn't experienced. I was going to have to get over it.

I realized that I could actually do this. I could have a girlfriend and treat her right, even if I wasn't so much of a saint. With Selena, I didn't think of her as a girlfriend though. What should I call her?

We hadn't reached the point of soul mates and I didn't even know what that meant. I knew that I loved Selena even though I didn't say it in so many words so maybe she was my…

I was so confused. I felt like I'd known this woman for my entire life. We just meshed together perfectly on all levels without even trying.

"Why the long face?" Selena lifted her head up to look at me and rested her chin so that we could see each other.

"Nothing, just thinking" I sighed.

She nodded, "You'll give yourself gray hairs."

"Don't joke about that." I combed my hands through my locks, looking for jumpers, "We all can't be young whippersnappers like you."

"I know but I like 'em old." She kissed my chest, "Soccer dad old."

"I'm not that bad."

"Still, it's kind of hot."

"At least I can drink." I joked because I knew that pissed her off. She huffed and stayed silent.

We were quiet for a few minutes, just breathing in each other and not trying to rush things. This is the time with her that I valued most. We were alone and not really trying to do anything but feel our bodies together.

"Can I get a book from the library?" She asked with a slight enthusiasm in her voice.

"You don't ever have to ask." I kissed her shortly.

Selena giddily pulled on some of my boxers and my undershirt, looking incredibly sexy, before bouncing out of the room.

I lied back down and let my head sink into the puffy pillows. My cell phone on the nightstand rang but I wasn't planning on getting it. I didn't want to move.

I let the phone ring until it stopped completely but the shrill sound was back a couple of seconds later.

I groaned, picking up the phone, "Bieber."

"Hello, bro!" Emmett sang, "Good night?"

"Yes, it was very good up until the point when some monkey called me." I growled.

"Yeah, yeah. You're always so mean to me. I've been a good big brother."

"What do you want, Emmett?"

"Oh right, well we have work to do."

"Work? There wasn't anything scheduled for tonight." I went through my mental calendar just to make sure.

"I know but we caught a jumper. He's one of Aro's guys. The dude is down at the warehouse now."

"I don't feel like dealing with this at the moment." I plopped down on the sheets, "Can't you and Jasper just handle it?"

"No can do. Get your ass out of bed and tell Selena to stop putting out. You two won't be able to walk in the morning." He laughed.

"For your information, we were just having a quiet night without the sex." I got up, trudging to my drawer to pull on some underwear.

"Don't try to pull that trick on me. I know the truth."

"Shut up. I'll be there in half an hour." I ended the call, stepping into some pants and shrugging into a shirt.

Selena was standing at the doorway with a thick book held to her chest, "Do you have to work?"

"Apparently" I said regrettably as I went into my closet, taking a heavy coat from a hanger. I slipped into a pair of shoes and tamed my hair somewhat, "I don't know when I'll be back."

She nodded silently, "I figured."

I didn't want to leave but I had to. I grabbed my keys and took small steps towards Selena who was still near the door, "I'll bring you a present." I tried to cheer her up by wrapping us both in my large jacket. She fit perfectly against my body.

She cracked a small smile, "I don't want your pity gifts. I'll just sit here by my lonesome, reading like an old spinster." Selena kissed me lightly.

"I would love to join you."

"Yeah well, you can't. Maybe I'll run around the apartment naked and roll in syrup." She grinned, "I bet you'd love to see that."

"My brothers will be very upset with you if I don't leave now." I sucked her neck.

"That's your fault."

"I don't think so."

I continued my way up her neck towards her jaw and finally, placed my lips on hers.

I wanted more than anything to just pull her down on the bed so that we could continue this but I was already running late so I broke away painfully.

"I have to go." I rested my forehead against hers, our bodies still entangled in my jacket.

"I know. Be safe, you promised me you would."

"I always am."

"No bruises this time. I mean it, Justin." Selena raised her eyebrow in a motherly way, "I can't take anymore bruises."

"Those aren't even the half of how bad it can get."

"Don't say that." She closed her eyes, "I don't want to imagine it."

"We need to toughen you up." I chuckled.

"Just don't do anything stupid" She kissed me shortly, "I like the naked syrup idea. I think I'll look into that." Selena unwrapped herself and sauntered towards the bed but I caught her by the waist.

"I can't ever let you go." I said against her lips. Selena's fingers went into my hair, fisting like I was going to fly away.

All too soon, she pulled away.

"Go." Selena pushed me out of the room.

I dragged my feet down the steps and didn't even feel like moving into the hallway but I pushed myself out of the apartment, locking the door behind me.

I was in the Aston Martin five minutes later, driving through the chilly roads towards the docks.

Chicago was known as the Windy City for a reason and even in the car, I could hear the sounds of whipping wind around me. It was only nine at night so the temperature would drop more as the hours passed but I had grown up in this weather so I didn't mind.

I made it to our normal warehouse in no time and shut off the car, not wanting to get out.

For the first time in my life, I didn't care about all of this. Of course there was some tugging in the back of my head that was shouting 'kill, kill!' but I was able to suppress that as images of Selena began to take over. I wanted to go back home to her.

Go back home?

I shook my head to clear it and took off my jacket, folding it in the passenger's seat. I got out of the car and walked into the warehouse.

Jasper, Emmett and Alec were sitting in chairs, not really doing anything.

"I thought we had things to do?" I said frustrated at the fact that I had to roll out of bed for this.

"We thought you might want to finish him." Emmett pointed behind him at the man tied to another chair. He was breathing heavily, from his position and his body was almost completely blue; whether it was from the cold or the bruises, I didn't know.

"Who is he?" I asked, rolling up my sleeves.

"Some guy that Aro uses. He has some good info about you." Jasper raised his eyebrow.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that Aro knows about Selena. She's been the talk of their family dinners for quite some time now."

"Shit." I ran my hand through my hair.

"He sees her as your only weakness." Alec answered. I noticed the bloody knuckles that he was nursing.

"You have fun?" I nodded to him.

"It was…interesting." Alec shrugged.

"That kid's a beast." Emmett hit his shoulder, "He took the guy out with one blow. It was awesome."

"Who is this dude?" I asked and went over to the man who was cowering in his chair, dragging it to the middle of the room.

"His name is Daniel or something like that."

"It's David." The man growled.

"How long have you worked for Aro?" I knelt in front of him.

"Two years, not very long but I'm just a driver."

"What do they know about Selena?" I asked.

I knew that service people like drivers, maids and cooks had the best information because no one thought anything of them. That's why Carlisle had everything kept in the family. All of our servicemen were related by blood somehow and most of them couldn't even speak English, being brought over directly from Sicily.

"They know that she's yours." He replied heavily, "Aro was suspicious when James got beat up and then Vienna told him the rest of what he needed to know. He had nothing to do with that shit on Halloween but now he knows about her."

"And what is he thinking?"

"How should I know?" David tried to shift out of his seat but the ropes were too tight.

"Just answer me." I pulled out my Eagle for show. I didn't have the energy to care about this man.

"He wants to meet her. He wants to know what she's all about and he wants to see how deep you are with her." David rattled off.

"For what?" I nodded in thought, "He's honing in on me, isn't he?"

"Yeah"

"I don't know why." Jasper stood up, "Dad's not going anywhere anytime soon."

"Yeah but what if I was out of the way? It wouldn't be the same." I said.

"He's not going to kill her. He isn't that much of the devil." David lifted his head, "Aro just wants to know who Selena is and make sure she's not a threat."

"That sounds better than it actually is." Emmett sighed.

"Now that I gave you your information, can I go?"

"You're not going anywhere." I stood and pulled a rag out of my pocket, shoving it in David's mouth.

The deep smell of oil was penetrating as Jasper poured it over David's body that was now thrashing on the chair violently. He was screaming but his cries were muffled by the rag.

Alec, Emmett and Jasper stood by as I fired up my lighter and threw it on David's lap. His whole body was engulfed in a hot inferno within seconds. The scent of burning flesh was immediate and he was shouting so much that I could barely focus on my thoughts.

"I hate cleaning up after this." I shuddered as I watched a piece of David's skin literally melt off of his body.

"We'll have someone come over to clean up later." Emmett checked his watch, "Are we done here? Rose and I have plans."

"We're not done. We can't just leave him here." I said and played with my gun, twirling it around my finger.

"Let the kid handle it. I'm out." Jasper waved us goodbye as he left the warehouse.

"You'll be okay with Justin, right?" Emmett asked Alec.

"Yeah. Can I stay with you tonight?" He said towards me.

"That's fine." I answered.

"Alright then, peace." Emmett ruffled my hair and followed Jasper.

Alec and I stayed quiet for a couple of minutes as we watched David's body basically crumble into ashes. The good thing about death by fire was that it was painful and it took forever. Just because your skin was charred didn't mean your heart stopped beating.

At this point, the rag had fallen out of David's mouth and his chair was toppled over but his throat was so burned that he couldn't really speak. His body was shivering and jerking.

"You want to handle it?" I passed Alec my Eagle.

He took it from me and cocked the gun easily, pointing it towards David's head. He didn't pull the trigger but just held it. We stayed in our positions for a full minute.

"You can't think of him as a person." I instructed.

"But…he is."

"Why is he here?"

"Because he had information"

"Right, that was going to hurt our family." I knew I was twisting some things around but he needed to see things in unwavering terms. That was the only way to keep sane in this life. There was good and bad; that's it.

"He was trying to hurt Selena." Alec said to himself.

"Aro is trying to hurt Selena." I clarified so he didn't get confused, "David was just the middle man. We can't let him go or who will he run to?"

"Aro."

"You made your choice. The Bieber's don't leave survivors."

Alec pulled the trigger of the gun with power and his shoulder shifted from the force but he kept his arm strong. The bullet ripped through David's head, entering right under his nose and then out the back. I saw bone and brains as they splattered the floor behind him.

David's body stilled and a stream of blood flowed from the hole in his head.

Alec hadn't moved and his body was in the same position as it had been when he shot.

I went up to him and had to pry the gun from his grasp. His body was rigid but he fell back against me.

"Don't think of him as a person. He was a man who posed a threat to the family." I put the gun in my belt.

Alec let out a deep breath in a rush and I felt him shake.

"You did fine." I guided him out of the warehouse, locking the door behind me as I walked towards the car.

"Don't we have to clean up?" Alec muttered in a voice that I couldn't even hear.

"The lower boys come in every morning to wipe everything down." I patted his back, "Don't worry about it."

I opened the passenger's side door of my car for him and I actually had to set Alec in the seat because he was shaking so badly.

I quickly went to the driver's side and sped out of the parking lot.

The drive was completely silent, to the point of insanity. I remembered back to my first kill, the first time I drew fresh blood and it was hard to even think that far back. I was so young, a year younger than Alec but mentally, I was light-years ahead. In my brain back then, I was ready to kill and I was ready to join this life.

Was Alec?

I don't think I had ever asked him before but it was too late to bring it up now because the deed was done. The first kill was the most important and most memorable because it set the tone for your entire career in this business. As far as dramatics went, Alec had a very impressive slay.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, not really knowing what else to say.

"I'm good." He answered but I could tell he wasn't.

"What were you thinking?" I turned into the parking garage of my building.

"That I had to keep the family safe." He muttered like it was a mantra.

"That's not your job to do alone." I explained.

Alec looked at me with inquisitive eyes, "You love Selena, don't you?"

"I do." I nodded, admitting it to both of us in not so many words.

"Is that why you do what you do, to keep her safe?"

"Partly." I said, trying to figure out a way to explain it to him, "Selena is.…a wonderful addition to my horrible life. I enjoy what I do and I never thought that I would find someone like her but now that she's here, I can't not be with her. Does that make any sense?" I turned off the car.

"No."

"My family, our family, is what matters but…when you find someone that you're pulled to…in that way, your priorities seem to shift. Now, in my head, Selena and the family are on the same level." I rationalized to the both of us and things kind of clicked in my brain.

"Pulled to her? You mean sexually?" He was getting more and more confused.

"Uh…yes but not only that. You'll find someone you actually want to spend all of your time with."

I didn't know how else to explain it to a teenager because frankly, I was "made a man" before I could even get an erection so it was kind of strange for me to talk about this with Alec. I knew it wasn't necessarily a sex talk but it was heading that way.

"Just make sure that you stay focused and you'll find that things will fall into place."

"I never thought I'd ever get away from Albert. I was worried that if I became evil that I'd be punished like I was with him. Are you going to punish me?"

"For tonight?" I asked and he nodded, "No, that's what we do. To some people, it's bad but we have to stay on top. There are worse people out there than us."

He nodded, "I understand."

"Do you?"

"I think so. I should feel bad that I killed someone but…I can't. I just think what he would have done if he was still alive. He would tell on us."

"That's right."

To Alec, the world still held a certain level of childlike innocence. Just like with Selena, they didn't fully understand that things got very serious. They might have heard the stories and seen the pictures but unless you're in a situation when it's your life against another person's you'll never truly feel the threat of death. This world is very black and white. It's either you and your family or them; whoever them was.

Even though he said he was alright, I knew better. Alec was going to be a mess for awhile. We all were after our first time. I never actually showed my pain back then and even now but I still remember having nightmares for about a month. After that, I just accepted my life and it was over.

I helped Alec out of the car and into the elevator. We went up without a word passed between us.

"You can stay in one of the guestrooms." I pulled out my key and unlocked the door when we got to the penthouse. I knew perfectly well that he wouldn't be sleeping tonight.

We both walked in and I pulled off my coat. Alec did the same.

"Hang that up." I instructed him and he put it on a hook near the door.

I went into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of water for Alec and handed it to him.

I heard a pair of shuffling feet come down the hallway and Selena emerged looked tired, like she had just woken up.

"You're supposed to be in bed." I rested against the counter and she came to stand in front of me, her head on my chest.

"I was waiting up."

I kissed her hair and whispered, "We'll be having company tonight."

She turned around and Alec waved from the corner, "Hi."

Selena seemed to breathe some life into her body, "Oh, I didn't see you." And then she noticed his bloody knuckles, "What happened?" She went towards him.

"Nothing, I'm fine." He tried to put his hands in his pocket.

"No you're not." Selena yanked Alec's hands towards her so that she could inspect them, "I can't believe you, Justin."

"What did I do?" I asked innocently.

"You're supposed to be looking out for him." She scowled at me.

"I did."

"This is unacceptable." She brought Alec over to the sink and turned on the water, gently rubbing her fingers over his knuckles.

"I'm fine, really." Alec tried to pull back.

"You shut up." She snarled, "I wake up and I expect nothing but then you come home all bloodied up and smelling like ashes. Oh Lord, what else have you been doing tonight?" She turned to me.

I tried to restrain the laughter that was creeping up my throat but I couldn't help it. In her place, Selena's body was substituted with my mother, which was kind of scary. They had the same reactions every time one of us got hurt. It was rather comical.

"You think this is funny?" Selena asked, her lips in a tight line, "He's just a kid, Justin."

"He'll be fine. You can't baby him."

"I understand that but…" She huffed, "…you can shut up too." She continued to wash Alec's knuckles under the water.

"His wounds turn to battle scars after a while." I pulled a beer out of the fridge and popped the top.

"Do you have any salt?" Selena asked without looking at me.

"Above you." I said with a hint of amusement in my voice, "You planning on mixing a margarita?"

"No." She stood on her tip toes to open the cabinet that was stocked with spices, which I never used, "Salt will dry out the wounds and keep the fluid from coming back. They'll heal quicker."

"I thought that was an old wives' tale." I looked on with a raised eyebrow as she plugged up the sink and turned the water to hot so that it filled up.

She poured a handful of Kosher salt in the water that turned an occluded, gray color.

"Coming from a girl who basically lived her life in the hospital from tripping, I know how to heal." Selena took Alec's hands softly and placed them into the water, "This is going to hurt."

Alec hissed through his teeth as he submerged his knuckles in the sink, "Shit."

"No cursing." I said as an immediate reaction.

"Just let them sit for a couple of minutes." Selena wiped her hands off on a dish towel and then came back to me, "Anything I need to heal on you?"

"No, I'm all good." I wrapped my arms around her waist after setting my beer on the counter, "But I wouldn't mind a bath again like that one time." I whispered in her ear.

Alec made a fake gagging sound.

"Just focus on your knuckles." I growled and placed a kiss behind Selena's ear.

"Did he kill tonight?" She asked under her breath so that Alec couldn't hear.

"Yes." I answered.

"His first?"

"Yes."

I felt her head nod and she put her arms over my neck.

"I took care of him." I assured her.

"I know but I just feel bad that he won't be able to be a normal kid. He never will." Selena sighed.

"None of us were." I rested my forehead against hers.

We stayed that way for a long minute. I didn't know what to tell her that would make us seem any less horrible but on some level, I think Selena realized that we weren't ever going to be anything but monsters.

"I think I'm done." Alec took his hands out of the salted water.

Selena kissed me and left to hand him a cloth, "I'll wrap them up before you go to bed. Go take a shower."

He stood there for a second and looked like he was debating with himself before he just gave Selena a hug that swallowed up her small body.

"Thank you." He said and then ran out of the kitchen.

"Why can't you be more like him?" Selena drained the sink, "He's so sweet…"

"Blah, blah, blah. I'll give it maybe a year before I break him out of that."

"He could be like Jasper; all marshmallow. You're just so old and mean." Selena shuddered.

"Really?" I picked her up easily and threw her over my shoulder, "You don't seem to complain in my bed."

"That's because your piano fingers are the devil's play things." She hit my back, "Put me down."

"No, you're being punished." I slapped her ass and climbed the stairs.

"We have a child over, Justin. You better not be thinking dirty thoughts."

"I'm always thinking dirty thoughts." I replied truthfully.

I kicked open the door of my room and threw her on the bed, climbing up myself when she positioned herself.

"I should be checking on him." Selena ran her hands through my hair.

"He can put himself to bed. He's not a baby." I rolled my eyes.

She just tilted her head at me and I knew what she was asking.

I moved off her and plopped on the pillows, "He probably won't sleep tonight and if he does, he'll have to work through nightmares."

"Did you?" Selena rested her head on my shoulder.

"For about a month. I kept seeing all the blood and stuff."

"You're a good big brother."

I laughed, "I try."

"I'm serious." Selena said "He looks up to you."

"Really?" I knew Alec held some sort of admiration for me but I figured it was just because he wanted to learn the tricks of the trade.

"I think he sees Emmett and Jasper as best friends but you're his brother He told me the other day that he wants your approval."

"On what?"

"On…all of this. I can't imagine what kind of life he used to live but he's adjusting well. Does he remember anything about his old life?"

"No. We figured that he was around four when he was taken, probably from London or around there. Carlisle's been working hard to find something, anything." I said.

"It's hard to imagine a world without parents."

"How's Charlie?" I asked, trying to stay on subject and not think about the fragile body on top of mine.

"Fine. He keeps asking if I'm coming home for Thanksgiving. I told him not to bother with a ticket since I know he doesn't have the money."

"Would you like to go?"

"Not really and no, you're not buying me one."

"What about your mother, you want to go see her?"

"God, no" Selena groaned and sat up, "She would just ignore me the whole time I was there anyway."

"I highly doubt she'd do that." I folded my hands behind my head.

"She doesn't even notice it. She's not a bad mother, so to speak but when she gets fixed on something, it's hard to wing her off. She would try to cook dinner and I wouldn't see her for three days while she slaved away in the kitchen or something like that."

"She can't be that bad."

"Think Lucille Ball combined with Pam Anderson. She's the perfect mix of flightiness and has just enough common sense to make it in this world."

"I can't wait to meet her." I said sarcastically.

"I love her though." Selena sighed, "I'll go home to Forks for Christmas, that's only about a month and a half away. Charlie can deal until then."

"I don't want you to separate from him just because of me."

"No, it's not that but…I guess I'm scared to go home. He'll know something is up. At least over the phone, he can't see my lies."

"What have you told him about me?" I joked.

"Nothing. If I even hint at the fact that I have a boyfriend, he'd drive here."

"He sounds a lot like me if I had a daughter." I laughed.

"Have you ever thought about kids?" Selena crossed her legs under her and turned to me.

"I try not to. I know it's expected but I don't want them in the slightest. I hate kids."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I don't know why though. My parents love them so I thought I'd inherit their nature as I grew older but I still can't stand children. I wouldn't be a good father anyway."

"That's true." Selena giggled.

"Leave me alone." I raised up and kissed her shortly, "I'm going to go check on Alec."

She nodded, "I'll be here."

I scooted over the covers until I was out of bed and noticed that it was one in the morning. I knew that Selena had a class later in the afternoon so we could sleep in if we wanted.

I walked down the long hallway with rooms on each side. I could see light coming out from under the door of the one on the far left so I knocked at waited for a reply. There wasn't one.

I pushed the door open and found Alec sprawled out on his back with his chest rising and falling in sleep. He was in nothing but boxers and his hair was still wet from the shower.

I went to turn the light off but as soon as I did, his body jerked. He didn't wake up but I knew what it was. I left the light on and moved his body so that he wouldn't wake up sore in the morning.

I left the room, closing the door behind me and slid to the bottom of the floor, leaning my back against the wall. This was going to be my position for the rest of the night.

After ten minutes, when I didn't return back to bed, Selena came looking for me.

"What are you doing on the floor?" She asked.

"I'm going to stay here…just in case he wakes up."

"Oh." She shrugged and sat on the floor next to me, leaning against me.

"You can go back to bed." I kissed her.

"No, I'll stay with you."

We sat on the floor together and I could feel Selena falling asleep as the minutes turned into hours but she wouldn't leave me.

Sometime around five, Alec woke up with a scream that echoed off the walls.

"What the hell?" Selena's head snapped up, "We have to go see if he's alright." She started to move but I held her down.

"No, he has to work through this. He won't get over it if we wake him up."

"Justin, he could be hurting."

"He's just having a night terror." I held her firmer, "The first night is always the worse."

By the time the penthouse started to fill with morning light, Alec had been screaming for hours but I knew he wasn't truly awake. He was imagining different versions of his first true sin.

Selena wouldn't rest after Alec first started his yells so her eyes had dark bags under them but she said she was fine. As his voice reached us from under the door each time, Selena would shake like Alec's pain was hers but I had to keep her next to me. He wouldn't get any better if she coddled him.

I realized that I was being a hardass but my parents went through the same thing with me, with all of us. After my first kill, I found them sleeping in the hallway and my mother had tear tracks over her soft cheeks. I never understood why they just couldn't go to bed for that first month but now I did.

I feared for the kid and every time he shouted, I wanted to run in there and snap him awake but I knew I couldn't so I sat there.

"Is it over?" Selena asked, her voice thick with sleep and worry.

"He made it through the first night. He'll be fine." I picked us both up off of the floor.

I knocked on Alec's door and pushed it open. He was sitting up in bed stretching his tired muscles.

"How did you sleep?" I asked and went into the room.

"Okay, I guess." He shrugged. His eyes were deeply sunken and his face was pale. I knew Alec wouldn't remember his dreams though. Who would want to remember all of that?

"Do you want something to eat?" Selena poked her head around me.

"Not really." Alec answered.

We stood around awkwardly for a couple of seconds, not really knowing what to do.

"Get dressed and I'll take you home." I nodded to him and then closed the door.

After I dropped Selena off at her dorm, I took Alec home and just decided to stay there and find something constructive to do. The rest of the day, as much as I tried to concentrate, I couldn't really find anything that held my interest.

I had a talk with my father about what had happened the night before and he understood perfectly what I was feeling. He said that we all had to go through our growth period and this was Alec's.

I realized that over the past couple of months, my time hadn't really been spent wisely so I checked over money logs that were becoming foreign to me and made sure to catch up on everything so that I was in the know. I didn't want to appear like I was slacking because I knew Carlisle would take the first opportunity to point out my faults if I started slipping.

After I racked my brain with numbers for hours, I realized that I needed to get in contact with the police department.

Under the guise of "Michael Corleone", I made the call. I know it's cliché but who doesn't love The Godfather? I was put in contact with one of my father's many connections in the Organized Crime division. I had to get my facts straight about what was going on with Selena.

I talked without the fear of getting caught and it almost made me laugh at how easy it was to get information out of the police. They were so stupid that my number could come up on the grid and they wouldn't know what to do with it.

Of course, that was just wishful thinking so the talking was done in code. I never used anything related to the words 'Bieber', 'Jacob Black', or 'Selena Swan'. I had to be sure I was protected from all angles.

From my hour long conversation, I got that Jacob was trying to lure Selena away from me and in turn, into his arms with useful information. I got a guarantee that he was the one who had the CD sent over and Selena already told me about the Janice situation so I knew that's how he got it into her dorm without being noticed. He was banking on her getting scared and running away from us. Little did he know, Selena was stronger than that.

Black was waiting for something, anything because he was currently making a fool of himself over there. Of course he had pictures and "stories" but what he didn't have was hard evidence to incriminate any one of us. He was spending all of the Department's time and money on getting the Bieber's locked up. What he was failing to realize was that we were smart. Plus, the mayor and police commissioner were almost brothers with my father but that was beside the point.

"So does he have anyone working to get through our defenses?" I propped my feet up on my desk.

"Supposedly but no one knows. Only a couple people have that information." My informant concluded, "He's getting very suspicious these days."

"As he should be." I said, "Who should I be looking at?"

"I don't know but Dog No. 2's been kind of jittery so I know he's in on it all. He must know something." In our messed up world, Dog No. 2 was one of Blacks many close deputies, Embry Call.

"Try to snoop around a little. I need to know what he knows."

"Sure thing, boss."

"Get back to me as soon as possible and try to get him off Lily." I sighed. Lily was Selena. How I came up with that, I don't know but it fit.

"I will. I think the Brass is getting annoyed especially with the Department's dinner coming up. You know the holidays are the time for big donations and you guys are the biggest so anything that annoys you guys is off limits."

"That's reassuring." I said, "I have to go but keep me updated."

"Will do."

I hung up and leaned back in my chair, trying to think of a way to get Selena out of the crossfire that she was in. I never meant for the police to be on her tail but since she was associating with me, it was inevitable. What made it all worse was that Selena's father was a cop. All it would take was one phone call by Black to the police department out in Forks.

I knew Black would never do that though because his entire investigation would be up in smokes if Charlie even caught a whiff of who Selena was hanging out with. There would be an inter-county police brawl that would rival any other. Charlie would probably commandeer the entire state of Washington to come get her and that would create cracks in Black's whole 'get info out of Selena' plan.

A knock on the door, brought me out of my thoughts.

"Come in." I said and straightened up.

Alec poked his head in the room and shyly smiled, "Hi. Ma told me to come and get you for dinner. We're going out and she wants Selena there."

"Okay." I checked my watch and noticed that it was around that time.

"We're meeting at Aqua in about an hour."

I nodded, "You alright." I asked, packing up my stuff.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He hitched his shoulders, avoiding my eyes.

"Why won't you look at me?" I accused.

"Did you hear me last night?" He toed the edge of the carpet.

"Yes." I answered truthfully, "Are you ashamed?"

"I was trying to…keep quiet."

"That will only make it worse." I put on my coat, "Let it out in the first couple of nights and it'll get better."

I made it to the door and my hand was on the knob. I figured I should say something brotherly here or at least give him…a hug, but that wasn't me.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Alec asked with a hint of trepidation before I could open the door.

"Sure." I said without turning around and felt that that was brotherly enough.

I made a call to Selena as I drove into the city from my parents' house and told her about dinner plans. She cursed me for not mentioning it to her sooner and grumbled over the phone about not having anything to wear. I had to hold in my laughter at how nervous she still got around Carlisle and Esme, not because they were a part of the mafia, but because they were my parents.

I pulled up in front of Selena's dorm and just waited in the car because I knew if I went up, we wouldn't make it to dinner because my sexual appetite was outfighting everything else. I just kept my mind free of sexual thought and plugged in my iPod, turning to Krzysztof Penderecki's Symphony #3: Passacaglia - Allegro Moderato.

Some might call me dark and they would be right if they based their assumption from my classical music selections. Penderecki's piece was modern, written in 1988, but it could have been from the medial ages with its deep timpani and string melodies that would be more appropriate for a funeral. The dramatic crescendos just lifted the body to the point of otherworldliness and I shut my eyes, trying to soak up all the haunting sounds that I could. It relaxed me.

I don't know how long I sat there but a tap on the window brought me out of my dark thoughts.

I blinked to readjust my eyes and saw Selena waving to get in.

I chuckled and unlocked the door. She slid into the seat and shook off the cold.

"You left me out there long enough." She leaned over for a kiss that I gave her.

"Sorry, I was trapped in a world of classical music." I got into traffic and headed in the right direction.

"What the hell are you listening to?" Selena turned on my iPod to check the musical selection, "This sounds deadly."

"I know. Isn't it great?"

"Sometimes, I worry about you and your mental state. It's obvious that you're not all there but I never thought I would have to worry about what you were listening to."

"It's not that bad. They use it a lot in movies for soundtracks."

"Still, this is kind of morbid stuff." Selena scrolled through what I had and turned up the volume when she arrived at Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven.

"Oh Selena, must we listen to this song every time we get into the car?"

"Yes because it's your new anthem. I've decided that you can't be all that bad under there."

"Really?" I decided to amuse her.

"Yes, really. You have to be somewhat of a good person. I'm your woman who's buying you a stairway to heaven."

"I'm pretty sure we could find a better song that fits our predicament."

"Well if you need a good word at the pearly gates, don't come crying to me." She shrugged in all seriousness.

"I'm not debating religious politics with you."

"Good because I'd win." Selena laughed.

We continued to listen to Zepplin and by the time the song was over, I was pulling into the parking lot of Aqua.

"Let me guess, another one of Jasper's fine establishments?" Selena got out of the car when I turned it off.

"Sure is. This is the best in my opinion." I locked the car, wrapped an arm around her waist as I led her inside.

Aqua was voted one of the best seafood restaurants in the city by The Chicago Tribune and you couldn't even get a table unless you were planning on spending upwards of five hundred dollars.

The whole interior was done in dark blues and whites that contrasted each other but it was very modern. The main attraction of Aqua was the massive fish tanks that covered the walls, spiraled up to the ceiling and were inlaid into the floor. They held huge lobster, colorful exotic fish, expensive crustaceans and that was just the beginning.

I helped Selena up to the second floor of the restaurant that was open so that everyone could basically see everyone else. There were private rooms in the back but Esme liked to be where she could talk to her friends if they stopped by so we always made it a point to be sociable when the entire family ate out.

We arrived at the massive table up top where Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rose, and Alec were sitting. Everyone was talking animatedly about something or other and barely saw us arrive.

"Oh, finally. I haven't seen you in days." Esme got up and pushed me out of the way, heading straight for Selena.

"It's good to see you too Esme." Selena hugged her like they were sorority sisters and then went to go say hi to my father who was beckoning her over.

"Great welcome, Ma." I hugged her.

"I see you too much." She fixed the collar of my shirt, "I don't know why you insist on wearing this shirt. It doesn't look right."

"I think it looks fine." I gently pushed her off.

"Well it doesn't. Buy some new clothes." She went to go sit back down.

"I see I'm not even loved here anymore." I joked and pulled out a chair for Selena.

"Shut up. You're not the favorite anymore." Emmett thundered from down the table, "Now it's Selena and Alec."

"I'll have to fight my way back up to the top of the list." I sat down and unbuttoned my jacket, relaxing into my chair. I threw an arm over Selena's seat.

Everyone talked loudly, not really caring that we might be disturbing other patrons but there weren't that many people on the second floor. It was the height of the dinner hour but the bar downstairs was filled with stressed bankers or overworked lawyers.

A couple of waiters had the horrible task of taking our orders, which was no small duty considering that they had nine picky diners six of whom were full blown Italians.

"I want some wine." Selena whispered to me.

"No." I whispered back, only half joking.

"But it's been a long day and I had two tests and…"

"…and you're underage."

"Oh come on, Eddie." Jasper leaned across the table, "Let her get a little loose."

"I'm not going to get drunk, Jasper." Selena corrected him, "I just want a couple of sips."

"This is sooooo good." Alice dramatically swirled some red wine in her glass, "What's this called Rose?" She called down the table.

"Cabernet sauvignon; pressed from the finest Chilean grapes."

"This is just not fair." Selena sat back in her chair.

"One sip" I handed her my glass. I was pathetically horrible at refusing Selena anything whether it be money, which she never asked for or even a simple glass of alcohol.

She took her gulp and handed it back to me, "Thank you." She leaned over and our lips meshed together with wine filled tastes that were making me pass out from the flavors.

"Wahoooooo!" Emmett shouted, "Get her good."

I heard a slap and a couple of grumbles but when I pulled back, all was well.

"You're getting me in trouble." I whispered against Selena's lips.

"Sorry." She laughed.

Appetizers of crab cakes and grilled vegetables were passed around the table.

We all talked about our days, making sure to keep away from family business because we never knew who was listening at the next table but Esme wouldn't allow it anyway. She tried to keep those two lives separate.

About an hour into our meal, I noticed that my father was becoming oddly unobservant to our conversations and kept looking over the banister to the first floor.

"Dad, you alright?" I asked.

"We might have some company." He answered and nodded his head to the side, motioning me to take a look.

I peeked over the ledge of the metal balcony, "Shit."

"Justin, language." Esme scolded.

"Sorry." I moved back into position.

"What is it?" Jasper chomped on a piece of lobster.

"The Volturi's are here." I put my fork down, not wanting to eat anymore.

"All of them?" Emmett groaned moving his head to see, "Minus two. I can't believe that Vienna bitch has the nerve to show her face. At least Heidi isn't here. She's a piece of work, right Justin?"

"Shut up." I growled, not wanting to get into my past sexual adventures with Selena sitting right next to me.

"Oh, Athenadora didn't come? I needed to ask for her peach crumble recipe." Esme moped.

"Ma, you can't talk recipes with the enemy." Jasper rolled his eyes.

"She's not my enemy."

"This is just great." I said.

"At least we're in public so she won't try to kidnap me again." Selena took a sip of her water.

I held her free hand under the table, "I told you that you don't have to worry about your safety with me. I won't let anyone take you again." I whispered.

She nodded and gave a fake, half smile.

"Just don't even look at them." Carlisle fixed his tie, "I'm in no mood to deal with Aro right now."

"Good." I went back to eating.

Another hour passed and thankfully, we were able to keep things easy between everyone. Through all of this, I didn't let the Volturi's out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to make sure that I saw them leave and I wasn't putting Selena in the line of fire again.

As I worked on a piece of chocolate cake that Selena and I were sharing, I lifted my head for a quick second to see Felix's almost black eyes. A grin was plastered on his thin lips.

"Shit, shit, shit." I ran a hand through my hair.

"Good Lord, what is with the cursing?" Esme asked.

"Nothing." I sighed and leaned back in my chair, preparing to probably have a showdown.

I saw Felix lean over to speak with Aro who raised his head to our table. He clapped his hands together and they all got up from their seats.

"Not a word." Carlisle pointed to everyone at the table but especially me, "I'll do all the talking."

Aro, Vienna, Felix and Demetri climbed the stairs slowly. It was almost as if their bodies were floating over the steps. Vienna had a scowl on her face that looked like a bulldog; Aro's ancient self was pasty and fragile as usual. Demetri was trying to pump himself up mentally and I don't think Felix was all the way there. He seemed a few marbles short of a full basket.

Thankfully, the upstairs dining area had been cleared per Jasper's orders an hour earlier so that we could have some privacy when Emmett decided to drink more wine. It was never a good idea to have him around people while drinking. This left the entire second floor left free of patrons.

"Carlisle, what a pleasant surprise." Aro spoke over the chatter of the dining room below us with outstretched arms.

"Aro, always a pleasure." My father stood to greet him.

"How long has it been? At least a couple of months. You said you would call more." Aro, always the over classy creep, said lovingly.

"Real life just got in the way." Carlisle said.

Head nods from all of us were given, without actually saying anything. Esme was of course going off at the mouth, asking how Athenadora was doing. It was just a little too buddy-buddy for me so I sat back and shut up.

"And who do we have here?" Aro asked, noticing Alec at the end of the table.

"A new family member" My father answered, "Alec."

Alec stood up and shook Aro's hand firmly, "It's nice to meet you."

"You as well." Aro eyed him up and down, obviously trying to figure out where he came from, "And you must be the magnificent Selena who I've heard so much about." He turned towards us.

"Yes sir, I guess I am." Selena said and made a move to shake his hand but I wouldn't let her.

"It's so nice to meet you." Aro spoke chillily.

She just nodded.

"You're just as beautiful as they've all said." His eyes shifted to mine, "She's splendid, Justin."

"I know." I replied shortly.

"Well I actually came up because Vienna has some things to say." Aro retracted his hand and pushed his niece forward.

"Yes, there have been some unfortunate events lately." Carlisle put it nicely. In actuality, he was just as furious as I was about Vienna's stupid behavior.

"All in a little fun." Felix had the nerve to laugh.

My fists bunched in my lap to the point of pain. They only eased when Selena slipped her hand into mine, squeezing it lightly.

Vienna pouted and huffed, "I'm sorry I had my bodyguard try to kidnap you." She said like a child who stole a bike, "I didn't mean to."

"I'm not sorry I killed the fucker. I should have strung him up by his legs and let him bleed to death." I snarled and couldn't stop the words out of my mouth.

Selena hit my knee but I wouldn't take back my sentence for anything.

"It was just a joke." Vienna crossed her arms, "You didn't have to kill him."

"A joke?" My voice rose slightly, "He took her from underneath my nose."

"Well then maybe it was your fault." Demetri grinned.

"Fuck you." Jasper said from down the table.

"Boys, please." Aro said, only half-heartedly.

"Thank you for the apology." Selena spoke up.

I looked at her like she was crazy.

"Well you heard her. It was just a joke." Selena gave me the eye as to say 'don't start something over nothing'.

I sat back in my chair with a frown.

"That was very nice to apologize." Aro patted his niece on the back, only further pampering her psychotic notions.

"So I guess it's true then." Felix said to me, his dark eyes trying to borough through my forehead.

"What." I snapped.

"You've found someone worth it." He looked between me and Selena, "I never thought I'd see the day when Justin went soft."

"I'm not soft. I can blow your fucking head off right now if you want." I sat up straighter.

"Please." He knocked off my threat.

"I can see that this isn't going to be a nice meeting." Carlisle wrapped things up, "It was nice to see you all." He spoke to Aro.

"You as well." Aro nodded and ushered everyone away from our table.

Maybe I was just honing in on his voice or maybe I had vampire hearing but as Felix was walking off, I heard him whisper to his brother, "I bet she has a sweet cunt."

I was up from the table, had him by the collar of his shirt and pushed against the wall near the table before anyone could even blink.

"What the hell did you just say?" I got in his face and had the barrel of my gun pointed at his stomach.

Felix had the audacity to snicker in my face, "I knew I would get a reaction out of you."

"I have the mind to rip your spine from your body." I pushed the gun further into his abdomen that he was trying to tighten.

"You don't have the heart to taint your image in front of the babe." His eyes went to Selena.

"I've killed before in front of her and if you don't want your blood on these walls, I would shut your mouth."

"I saw the bodyguards downstairs, they coming up here to help?"

"I don't need their help. If I ever see you even look at Selena again, I will take a drill to your forehead, do I make myself clear?"

"No need for violence." He smirked, "I'm just trying to have some fun with the sweet…cunt." Felix spoke softly and slowly.

I slammed him against the wall harder and had my forearm against his meaty throat.

I was so enraged that I couldn't even think. The only thing that was keeping me from blowing Felix's head off was the fact that I could smell Selena's perfume from behind me, keeping my mind clear from fire.

I heard a pistol cock at my head and saw Demetri to my left.

There was a lot of movement as Emmett, Jasper and Alec all pulled guns out of nowhere and we all created a pentagram with outstretched arms.

"If I ever hear you speak about her like that again, I will kill you." I spoke so deadly that even I was scared.

Felix winced as I pushed the pistol into the gap between ribs. He didn't say anything but I could see the fear in his eyes. Truthfully, I was surprised that I hadn't killed him by now.

I backed up but kept my arm outstretched.

I heard Carlisle heave a heavy sigh behind me, "Gentleman, please. There are ladies present."

"Well then maybe it's time to clear out." Emmett said, his drunken nature totally hidden behind the beast.

"This is not a way to behave in public." Aro came to stand between my gun and his son who kept growling at me like an animal.

"You should teach your son some manners." I replied.

"I would watch who you're speaking to, Justin." He cocked an eyebrow, "You won't always have your family around to help you out."

"Yes he will, Aro." My father was still speaking calmly, "I would like it if you could please leave my family alone. First the kidnapping and now your son's very rude remarks. I would hate to have to take action."

"Is that a threat, Carlisle?"

"I don't make empty promises; you of all people should know that."

Even though my back was turned, I could feel the heat pouring out of Carlisle's eyes as he glared. I bet his face was wrinkle free and his hands were probably clasped behind his back.

"Have a wonderful rest of your night." Aro nodded to all of us and started walking back down the steps. Vienna followed and then Demetri but Felix didn't move.

"Your master is leaving." I said, "You might want to hitch a ride to his ass."

"You know Demetri is the golden child of the family." Emmett chuckled, "Aro wouldn't waste his time with this piece of shit."

"You better watch yourself." Felix took a step forward and the first one to react was Alec who cocked his gun in a second.

"Move another inch and I'll put a bullet through your skull." The kid spoke with such authority and power that was identical to my tone. It scared the hell out of me because if I didn't know any better, I would have thought that I was listening to a fourteen-year old Justin.

"You're just a fucking child. Don't flatter yourself." Felix squinted.

Carlisle sighed again, "We don't really have time for this. Felix, would you like to take this out back so we can end this like real men or would you like to live a couple more years? I'm fine either way."

Felix's lip twitched and he shifted his eyes between all of us before giving up, stomping back down the stairs.

Emmett and Jasper retracted their gun arms but I was still too pissed to move.

I felt a small hand on my back, "Justin." Selena whispered.

I blinked and came back to reality, the fire within me vanishing within seconds.

"Put it down, Justin." She pushed my arm to my side, standing in front of me, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah" I said in a small voice.

"You're purple." She held my face in her hands, "You can't let him get to you."

"I can't help it."

"That's what he wanted, a reaction."

"I know." I combed through my hair and put my gun back in my belt, "Are you alright?" I hugged her.

"I'm fine." She rested her head on my chest and he body was shaking slightly, "That was scary though. I thought you were going to get in trouble."

"That was only the tip of the iceberg with Felix." I sighed, knowing that it wouldn't be the last I heard of him.

"You can't act like that with everyone who makes a rude remark or comment."

"Like hell I can't. He had no right to speak to you like that."

I heard talking from everyone behind me but Selena and I were in our own little world.

"You're going to give yourself a heart attack trying to protect me all of the time."

"I'm willing to risk my health for you." I said truthfully. Similar to last night's gesture, I completely removed my jacket this time and put it over Selena's shoulders.

"Justin, you have to calm down. He is going to be worse now that he knows you reacted that way."

"I'll blow his fucking head off." I growled, not meaning to but just thinking of the things he said about Selena was making me furious again.

She must have been able to sense it, "Just breathe. You're turning purple again."

I took deep heaves to gain oxygen, "I can't believe he had the nerve to call you that."

"It's no big deal."

"It is a big deal. No one should be talking about you that way. Just wait until I see him again…" I let my sentence trail off thinking about how this situation would be different if we had all been in seclusion. I would probably be washing my hands of his blood right now.

Selena pulled me back to our seats and everyone was tense.

"Well, I won't be inviting them for more dinners." Esme nodded authoritatively and took a sip of wine.

I had to laugh at the absurdity that was my life and they all looked at me like I was insane.

"Are you alright?" Selena asked.

"Yeah." I breathed.

Carlisle shook his head, "This is why I don't make friends. They all end up dead or on a wish list for death." He took a bite of crab.

"I love family dinners. Aren't they just fun?" Rose said sarcastically.

"To family." Jasper raised his glass and we all followed.

"To family."

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