far from my care and keeping
buddie (side buck/tommy, mentioned eddie/marisol) | T | 3k | angst, pining, one-sided feelings realization
Buck's in hospital, but that's nothing new. What is new is the extra person in the waiting room. That, and Eddie's understanding of his own heart.
Another day, another visit to the hospital.
They should be used to this by now: sitting in the sterile space off the main hallway, waiting, waiting, waiting. It should feel routine, ordinary, typical with how often they find themselves in the situation. But Eddie doesn’t think it’s ever going to feel that way when it’s one of them behind the doors fighting for their life, the rest sitting anxious on the other side. He wishes the universe would stop adding instances, would cease trying to make it, force it to be, normal.
It’s the usual crew; they’re practically all there: Eddie, Bobby, Hen, Ravi, Maddie, Athena. Chim had taken Jee-Yun from Maddie and left with her about an hour after Maddie arrived — it’s getting late, past Jee’s bedtime. And Karen is at home with the baby and Denny. Eddie is lucky Marisol was supposed to be coming over for dinner anyway, that she offered to get Chris and stay with him till Eddie could leave. Athena showed up at the end of her shift with coffee and donuts for everyone, caffeine and sugar to keep them going.
Eddie’s cup is sitting cold on the table, his donut already split between Chim and Ravi when he shook his head in a refusal of it. He’d struggle to eat or drink anything in his condition, plus the knot in his stomach is too large for anything else to fit. It’d come back up, and he’s afraid of what else might spill from him with it.
It’s the usual crew. Plus–
“Hey,” Tommy’s voice sounds. Eddie looks up to him crossing the floor towards them, not at a run, but not far off. “What happened? How’s he doing?” he asks, directed at Eddie, as his eyes sweep over him, take in the state of him.
“He’s– It was–” Eddie tries, but his mouth is dry and the lump in his stomach extends to his throat too, blocking it, making him choke on the words.
Hen, sitting in the chair next to him, takes over. “He’s in surgery.”
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MLC Amnesia Fic (What's Sealed Away)
It was one thing to know what his qi felt like in his meridians–although he didn’t know what his neili was called, only that it had a name–and to know that, if he started running his sword forms, his arms and legs would guide him where his mind couldn’t. Muscle memory felt familiar. Reliable. But this? This free-floating knowledge, not connected with any event, any memory, any movement or motion? Just facts appearing in his mind? Assertions he was supposed to accept unquestioningly as truth? With no memory of how he learned them? Nothing to prove their validity?
He clenched his hand around his dao’s scabbard. There had to be a better way than this.
NOTES:
I had a ton of feels about the differences between DFS and a-Fei, different types of memory and what is and isn’t lost in the sheer mindfuckery that is amnesia (very loosely inspired by my own experiences with amnesia), and a desire to explain some of the weird behaviors in the amnesia arc (why a-Fei spends so much time away from everyone else in the Mountains Red arc–-which LLH justifies with a lie about a-Fei sleeping instead, why LLH never tells FDB that it’s dangerous and painful for a-Fei to get his memories back, etc.), and thus this fic was born.
TW/CW: amnesia, body horror (finding the mind control bug), panic attack (to skip the panic attack, stop at “he pressed his shaking hands against the sheets” and start again at “His pulse finally started to slow.”)
Thanks to @momosandlemonsoda for being an amazing beta reader!!
Relationship: Di Feisheng/Li Lianhua (with hints of future difanghua)
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Lumiere's Sick Day: Pages 1-2
Lumiere catches the flu and is forced to stay in his room and rest. Cogsworth comes by to keep him company (whether he likes it or not!!!)
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Ok so I've set myself a challenge this year to create a comic, and here it is! With these two buffoons <33 This is essentially just a generic sickfic except I'm not v good at writing so I'm drawing it instead LMAO
I'll be posting in two-page increments weekly, orrrr whenever I get them done. To the 3 ppl who care abt them pls enjoy!!!
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godbless people getting excited about the haikyuu movie and getting it trending, because i, someone who thinks about haikyuu *cough* sugawara *cough* daily, am living for it
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hiii i wrote this way way back after 5x10 aired from buck's perspective and finally got around to making a little demo that i don't hate :') lyrics under the cut!
lyrics:
your blood on my face
splattered like rain on the sidewalk
your hand reaching out
lips trying to form the shape of my name
i could see it right then
the shape of my life without you
i knew i would hate it
more than anything
ten years ago
bloody bruised cheek on the pavement
ears ringing out
i’ve never felt so alone
five years ago
driving across a new state line every four months
like my body knew it needed
to be where you are
you built me a home here
i let you touch me in places that
nobody else would dare to
you built me into your life behind my back
just in time to take your exit
what am i supposed to do with that?
your blood in my mouth
stuck to my gums like molasses
i still taste your death
when i jolt awake at night, covered in sweat
and i still feel the rain fall like bullets
the night that i tried to dig you out
i swear i will dig us out of here
and we’ll be alright
you gave me a home here
i let you save me in ways i thought
nobody would ever care to
you wrote me into your life then turned your back
you know i would never reject it
but would it kill you to ask?
in the doorway, waiting by phone
just out of reach, just shy of alone
but you know me, i’ll never leave
you can’t hit the ground if you never let go
so i’ll take this, i’ll lap up this scraps
i’ll fake fulfillment until i collapse
and you know me, heart on my sleeve
i swear i’ve been screaming, “please don’t leave”
guess you didn’t hear that
you built me a home here
i let you touch me
you built me into your life
behind my back
just in time to take your exit
what am i supposed to do with that?
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I am playing Rimworld because I have the flu and lost my voice. :(
I just wanted to curl up, build a nice comfy colony, and draw. So that’s what I’m doing.
Here are some sketches of the goings-on in my colony at the moment. Lots of shenanigans happening. Taming two thrumbos has undoubtedly made me feel better, definitely recommend if you’re feeling unwell. Irwin is best boy, and I love him dear.
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