watched the syndicate finale. my heart is so full of love

I love you smile lines and worry lines and grey and white hair and wrinkles and purple spiderweb veins and the process of aging and living in a body that is standing the test of times. I love you experiences that make you wiser and stories that make you laugh, and every little process that happens to get to the point where you have so many memories because you have the fortune to be here and be so radiant

disappear into the tides' embrace, the only thing left to hold you

fujigoe

irvinis replied to your post "dustylyric replied to your post I'm amazed by the...”

Michael is very active - names for rats, "secrets between me and my Angel", helping artists. Someone is very bored.

It certainly seems like it. The "secrets" tweet is a personal favorite, of course:

I'm not sure why Michael is so active on Twitter right now (though I could think of a few reasons why he'd need the distraction). But what seems very clear is that he is brimming over with excitement to talk about GO 2 and all of his feelings and thoughts on it. So much more engagement with the fandom since season 2 came out at the end of July, giving little tidbits that are already sending us into apoplexy.

Just imagine what we are in store for once the SAG/WGA strikes are resolved and he can fully and openly talk about it. Imagine what he'll say about the kiss, the hands touching during the Ball, staring heatedly at David/Crowley during the scene with Muriel...oh, so many possibilities. I think Michael is aching to scream about all of it, and I absolutely cannot wait to see it...

ok yeah, I'm willing to put Young Royals up as one of, if not the best teen drama ever written

and not just writing! cinematography, costumes, music, performances! this show truly is a masterpiece

Torturing myself with thoughts of Durge potentially having a very unintended experience the first time she goes on that little weave date with Gale.

.

What if she intends to kiss him in the weave, but her fractured mind conjures up the image of Gortash instead after she pulls away.

It's who she really wants, she just doesn't remember.

Gale is none the wiser, until the weave slips away to reveal a panicked Durge...

Trying to explain what she saw?

Trying to brush it off?

Who is that man burned into what's left of her brain matter? Who was he to her that the weave would pull him forth when she made the decision to pursue Gale?

And laying eyes on him again for real, at Moonrise...

Maybe she finds the Prayer for Forgiveness, and her hands are shaking as she reads, knowing that she penned this.

To her father.

Her God.

To Bhaal.

Scelaritas's words suddenly make sense.

"He would forget his god for you, but you won't for him. Of that I know."

She did forget her god once, it seems.

For Gortash.

After that, she goes to Wyrm's Rock to meet him alone, because she has one burning, inescapable question.

"Who are you to me?"

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

Was kinda interesting watching Aquaman 2 do that thing Hollywood movies do where a villain barks orders in an non-English language to signal to the American audience that they're foreign and scary, except this time the actress doing it was speaking portuguese so I actually understood everything she was saying and it was just weird and abrupt. I guess they just told her to translate and say the lines in her own language but didn't direct her how to adapt the dialogue accordingly, so she ends up just telling the henchmen to pick up a guy in a very stilted formal factual manner while everything's exploding around them, that was kinda funny.

I finally finished Takin' Over the Asylum and if you've never watched it I definitely recommend doing so. The ending was bittersweet and the show overall was amazing. There are a few stereotypes given that it's 1994, but despite that it's extremely progressive and made me feel so much more comfortable with myself as someone who has bipolar disorder like Campbell. The acting was amazing and the storytelling was emotional. Also baby David Tennant is in it which is also fun. I came for him but I stayed for the plot. Anyway yeah go watch it it's amazing I don't have anything else to say

BASED. Finally someone actually acknowledging Tenko`s sexism and making her overcome it instead of unfunny jokes or ignoring it.

Making unfunny jokes? Lame

Ignoring it? BORING

Having Tenko run a primarily woman's shelter during the literal apocalypse which forces her to see actual genuine families that she in her heart cannot bare to turn away when she has resources to help, forcing her to interact with guys more then she had before and getting to observe them be good people trying to help their mothers and sisters. When clearly troubled by how this is changing her world views a nice older trans lady sees this young teenager trying to help everyone but clearly having gender essentialist views correctly blames her guardian for her teaching her those views then goes over to help/adopt her, slowly working through it and kindly correcting her when she messes up or says something bigoted and while Tenko's progress is slow and she still makes mistakes, a lot of them, its clear she's trying and she's growing and she'll get there one day and you just cant help but be proud of her while Tenko learns to be more then just what her master wanted for her and learns who she is outside this role she was molded into causing her to question herself in ways she never was allowed to before? BASED AS HELL

Yknow, I think this passage really captures how Ouyang views Esen, especially in contrast with how Baoxiang views Esen. Ouyang geuinely believes the best of Esen, he genuinely belives that Esen is good and pure and kind and that it's himslef that is taining him into being otherwise. And while Ouyang is right in that he's technically responsible for Esen’s current emotional state (he did very much kill Esen’s dad and frame his brother for it, that is very much a thing he just did), for once it isn't his fault for the everything else going on with Esen?

I do think Esen is generally good-natured, and tries to be kind and generous to those he loves, but it's very clear that Ouyang has reduced him to JUST that in his head. He only sees Esen’s best qualities as inherent to him, and all the bad ones are Ouyang's fault somehow. He blames himself for Esen not understanding him (because there's something wrong with him, and even when he's mad at Esen for not caring enough to notice certain things he justifies it in his head by making it about his own unmanliness or whatever and Esen is just to perfect for that), for any failure in battle (yeah you're the general but Esen also approved this hes your boss dude), and generally for any moment where Esen exhibits less than stellar behaviour/capacity/etc. When in reality, we have a lot of moments where Esen is just sort of a dick, many of which are pre-ouyang (courtesy of HWDtW wbx flashbacks, which, granted, are also biased but my point still stands). We see Esen's constant and usually unjustified frustration with wbx and sometimes Ouyang, we see him be dismissive of the things they tell him, in the pre-order reward its pretty much stated that he makes a habit of dumping Ouyang outside brothels for hours while he goes inside to get laid, in one of his first scenes we see how much he enjoys it when Ouyang spends the whole morning tormenting Altan (altho tbf he kinda deserved it, altan suuuccckkss), and in general Esen just kinda treats people like crap sometimes. He's snapish and short-tempered and stubborn and imperious, loves whining about stuff, and is a shitty brother and best friend. He's got a lot of good qualities too, like how he's one of the few people that treats Ouyang with respect and tries to treat him as an equal, how his first reaction when wbx is insulted is to come to his defense (even if wbx usually foils his attempts by immediately clapping back and storming off), how we see him recognize he gets frustrated witj wbx too easily and tries to hold his temper back, how he immediately self-sacrifices to save Ouyang from his dad, how even after thinking wbx killed their dad he does really want to forgive him.

My point is, Esen is trying, but he's a very flawed human being, and Ouyang just can't seem to grasp that. He looks at him with rose-colored glasses. And it's so interesting that amongst all the shitty things Ouyang has done (and this duology really just is Ouyang and WBX fuck up yuan dynasty china to truly Epic proportions), the one he feels worst about is the one that isn't actually his fault (sorta). He may have killed Chaghan and been the catalyst for Esen's emotional blow up, but he isn't responsible for Esen having the capacity to burn WBX's books. That was Esen's decision. He hasn't somehow manipulated Esen into an eviler, crueler version of himself by virtue of existing evil-y and eunuch-y and revengefully im his vicinity. Esen was always capable of this, even if we take out Ouyang's actual manipulations, and I think this whole I-tainted-hin mentality really encapsulates how fucked up their relationship and Ouyang's mental state are in general. After all, Ouyang doesn't feel bad about the murder, or the framing, and he feels guilt about causing Esen pain, but most of all, he feels absolutely terrible that he's shattered what he sees as Esen’s purity, which in reality is mostly just the pedestal he himslef put him on. Man, what a fucked up little guy.

"Rodimus is a better Prime because it didn't hurt for him to bond with the Matrix while for Optimus it did" headcanon/theory my beloathed.

One day I'm literally gonna snap and make a whole post addressing why what's wrong bc I'm tired of the inaccuracy and tired of ppl not understanding the Point TM of IDW and its version of the Matrix/Primacy and even more tired of people putting down Optimus in favor of Rodimus by essentially arguing that being unworthy means you deserve to be punished/put in pain bc you just weren't good enough to hold the Symbol of Ultimate Authority

what do you fucking mean that's how charlie dies. THAT'S HOW CHARLIE DIES??? i mean i know the show has a penchant for killing off every character who's not a winchester brother or an angel of thursday but good god. what the fuck. charlie was such a good and enjoyable recurring character, and she had such a fandom impact that i've seen, and she's only around for THREE SEASONS?? (sidebar: it's amazing she has the presence she does for only being around for a couple episodes in the long run!) but: was this necessary? and she just dies offscreen after her skills are utilized to progress the plot of decoding the book of the damned?? oh my god. what in the actual fuck. i'm finding myself getting genuinely very upset at her death. she did not fucking deserve that. and i can absolutely see why the fan response to her death is what it is now. completely fucking unjustified and throwaway and useless.

So, the golden enclaves.... They were... Qn experience

the cr ending is so appealing because theyve all come so far, and none of them not a single one of them couldve imagined to be in the situation where theyre all married and raising kids together and just having such a big loving family and support system in the end like NONE of them could've imagined this

like yeah. did people die? yes did they grieve people? yes but did the move on and still find it in themselves to forgive and find new ways to love and live? yes and i think thats the true beauty of crimson rivers