When you're a kid and people do bad stuff to you or you witness bad things being done, you're encouraged to 'tell someone' and 'not keep it secret' and it's almost like we're responsible for making it known and making it stop, you know, if we don't do it nobody will.

But then when we do talk to the person we think is going to believe it + who has the means to stop it, and we get shut down and silenced, this person,, is not responsible for anything at all? They've just been given this valuable information that took us so much courage to open up about and the responsibility, at this point, should be 100% off of our shoulders because we did it, we Told Someone, it should get resolved now, but no? We get victim blamed and told we're making it up or even worse, that we need to shut up about it to keep the 'peace', and the person who does this to us is somehow clear of all responsibility, despite aiding the abusers blatantly??

I don't care anymore, if we told someone we did our part, and the rest is now on that person's shoulders, or maybe, MAYBE on the abuser's shoulders, because they're the ones committing crimes in the first place and it's literally 0% our fault this monster is out there. We are not responsible for protecting the world from the abusers, especially when we tell on them and you all shut us up and punish us for exposing their crimes.

If you follow my main you had to know this was coming… anyway. Enjoy these bloodweave doodles :)

(random s5 finale musings) tbh I don't think Marinette chose to keep The Secrets™ from Adrien because Gabriel asked her to. I feel like Marinette keeping secrets like that is so consistent with her character; she hates giving people bad news, she hates rocking the boat, she hates upsetting people, she always chooses to keep any 'controversial' information to herself for as long as she can get away with (examples: bubbler scarf, telling Queen Bee she was benched, confessing to Adrien, warning Chat Noir about Scarabella or Rena Furtive, never told Chat Noir about Chat Blanc, etc) that I just totally believe she would've done it either way. She was even already having nightmares about Adrien hating her for finding out she defeated his father, so I feel like Gabriel's request was moreso giving her a go-ahead than it was a primary deciding factor, yknow?

It's kind of funny that Kendall and Shiv are both equally delusional about their ability to charm people for business and somehow think they can do it even though they choke almost every single time, whereas it's like the one thing Roman is consistently good at despite being the "least legitimate" option.

I think part of this comes down to the fact that Shiv and Kendall both have very clear ideas of the versions of themselves they're trying to be and the images they're trying to project, and they're trying so hard to be seen that way that they end up coming off as a little desperate and off-putting. Meanwhile Roman "knows" that there's something wrong with him and he's worthless, so he doesn't get sucked into the trap of trying to force people to see his idea of himself and instead molds himself into whatever he thinks the other person wants from him because that's the only way he can compensate for "being him," which works very well in the short term but also means he's the least capable of maintaining any relationship for very long because he has no sense of self.

i am begging one single person in this entire show to consider, for perhaps one single second, THE POSSIBILITY THAT THERE IS A REASON HOUSE HATES HIS DAD THIS MUCH

"Oh, the abuse cycle in bsd–"

Yes, let's talk about the abuse cycle in Bsd. Let's talk about what people don't seem to mention, ever.

Mori. Dazai. Akutagawa. Kyouka.

Though nothing is certain about what the relationship between Mori and Dazai was really like, there is a clear difference between these relationships.

Mori is appreciative of Dazai. Much as he is scared of him, Mori would take Dazai back to the Mafia in a heartbeat. From the flashbacks, we could see that Dazai and Mori had relatively easy talks, Mori confided in him, was always honest, and 15 year old Dazai seemed to talk freely with him. The abuse is, far as we know, emotional manipulation on a great scale.

Akutagawa was probably violent with Kyouka, just as Dazai was with him, though I suppose at a lesser scale (i don't think he ever shot bullets at her, for example). One thing that we do notice, though, is that Akutagawa never talks down to her? He acknowledged her strength and gave her the same reason to live that he believed in himself. Then, he also acknowledges her growth, is actually happy for her happiness, and in Dead Apple, even suggests for her to kill him when he's at his weakest. There's also a lack of emotional dependence— unlike his own case, Akutagawa did not mold her to depend on his approval. And when she sees him, she has a less severe reaction than she did when she saw Mori, for example.

And then, you have Akutagawa and Dazai. And this is what really pisses me off. Because not only is Dazai both emotionally and physically abusive to Akutagawa, he continues to keep his hold on Akutagawa even after he has become a "good guy." He keeps Akutagawa tethered to him, manipulates him in dangerous situations Akutagawa has no business being in, and purposely plays into the boy's trauma bond to him to use him. All while giving everything to a random orphan he met on the streets that - objectively speaking - is no better than Akutagawa?

This is my personal view on their relationships, and I haven't read any light novels but Beast, so there might be information I'm missing.

But no amount of context can change the fact - and I mean fact - that Dazai had absolutely zero excuse to do what he did to Akutagawa. While in the Mafia or after it. Because the guy with an IQ of a billion, who was himself saved and shown kindness by another in his darkest times should have fucking known better.

TD World Tour Alenoah AU... Where Noah is immune to Alejandro's fake charm... Instead, Noah gets charmed by the true Alejandro's quirks and dorky interests like dinosaurs and puppets... How would Alejandro feel about Noah only liking Alejandro, when Alejandro is being himself?... Especially since Alejandro's family shuns him for being himself? 🦕🦖🦕

Now you're speaking my language.

One of the most common running themes in all/near enough all Alenoah central AUs is having Noah be the first person to see past Alejandro's persona and actually appreciate the person he is, or at the very least prefer the real Alejandro to his mask of perfection. It's one of the draws of the ship itself; the idea that Noah, being the blunt person that he is, can and will wage a war of attrition against the walls Alejandro has built up around himself- not just to keep others out, but also to repress the more authentic aspects of himself to himself- in order to reveal the person beneath.

I touched on this a little bit in a previous post concerning this AU, but Alejandro and Noah both see glimpses of the other that they try so valiantly to hide- in Noah's case, Alejandro sees hints of the scheming mindset he's pretty much supressed under layers of apathy and sloth (as Noah's laziness is one of his biggest character foils, alongside his snarky attitude), and in Alejandro's case he reveals tid bits of information about the Real Alejandro, not the persona he's usually portraying himself as, which is enough to humanise him in Noah's eyes.

They both become People Of Interest in each other's eyes, because they're both puzzles to be solved. Alejandro's curious and competitive to a fault so he'd dedicate himself to unravelling the layers behind Noah's stony exterior, as he'd see Noah's continued distance as a challenge. That's a given. But the topic at hand here is Noah's interest in Alejandro.

Because Noah's not exactly competitive, so why would he be so interested in unveiling the real Alejandro? That's simple; Noah values authenticity. Look at his friendship group, it consists of people who are unapologetically themselves. Noah is also unapologetically himself, in all of his sarcastic glory. So of course he's see flickers of the real, authentic Alejandro and his natural inquisitiveness would be piqued- a novelty for him, as Noah's staunch apathy generally tends to override any semblance of curiosity.

So Noah goes out of his way to make notes of the small interests Alejandro offhandedly mentions at one point or another, like palaeontology or puppetry or even his fifteen-step skincare routine- things that Alejandro shows genuine excitement or passion over that shines through the cracks of his perfect persona. He sees the dorky giddiness Alejandro experiences when Noah lets him ramble on about how Jurassic Park was incredibly inaccurate from a scientific standpoint but monumental for people's interest in palaeontology (or something along those lines, I don't know I'm not a dinosaur nerd) and suddenly the annoyingly flirtatious faker he's spent the better half of his time on the jet is A Whole Ass Person with interests and passions and a sense of depth he's been so bereft of until now. Suddenly Alejandro's more than just the antagonist of the show Noah's working on, he's an interesting person that the bookworm finds himself wanting to know more about. And, perhaps, he finds himself growing genuinely fond of the person behind the mask.

And he uses those notes to prompt Alejandro into sharing more of himself, the real authentic Alejandro, in the privacy of their interactions.

At first, Alejandro's fairly oblivious to what Noah's doing, since he's so caught up in his own enjoyment of Noah's company plans to essentially do the same to Noah that he barely notices his own tricks being used against him.

Of course, he's also just elated at being able to infodump to someone who isn't outright penalising him for doing so; not that I think Alejandro is even aware that what he's doing is infodumping, nor the fact that he's so obviously autistic, because his family is a particular brand of awful that would never let him get a proper diagnoses and in all likelihood forced him to mask/supress his symptoms.

It isn't until Alejandro realises that he's shared a lot of information about himself that he (as a Burromuerto) is expected to keep close to his chest, and he sees the glimmers of satisfaction in Noah's intelligent eyes, that the archvillain catches on to the fact that he's been played. But the thing that really catches him off-guard isn't the trickery, it's the fact that Noah's done nothing with the uncharacteristic displays of vulnerability.

Alejandro can't understand why Noah hasn't taken advantage of his "weakness" yet. Inevitably leading to him confronting the assistant, as Alejandro isn't the type to "let sleeping dogs lie" so to speak, and he's still very much so in the one-track mindset of winning the competition- thus he assumes that any show of vulnerability can and will lead to his untimely elimination. But when he practically demands that Noah reveal what he's been planning, why he's been sneakily collecting information on him, all Noah can do is shrug his shoulders and say;

"I guess I just like seeing the real you. That's all."

And Alejandro doesn't know how to respond to that. No one's ever wanted the real him, he's always had to play the role of the perfect son, the perfect brother. He doesn't understand.

And like most people when they're faced with a foreign concept they have no basis of behaviour for, he lashes out.

daily reminder that there’s a difference between hating your abuser and hating every single person with npd. one is understandable the other one just makes you an asshole

crumbs in your bed

transcript

I wish mental health services were more easily accessible and certain mental illnesses weren't still demonized in the field

like going “hey guys see those lyrics about hating yourself and being a bad person? well since that guy actually turned out to be a bad person you shouldve known” Is Not The Take You Think It Is. purely for the reason that so many people who are mentally ill and/or struggle with self loathing RELATED to that. but unlike him they were not ACTUALLY the bad person being described. i dont know if im being coherent but like. ive seen takes that are essentially implying “hey look at those lyrics that were so relatable to so many people because of mental illness? yeah anyone with a BRAIN couldve seen a bad person wrote that like who ELSE than pieces of shit would relate to that lol”. same goes for his character. people can struggle with mental illness and hate themselves and ALSO be horrible abusive pieces of shit. but do not equate the two or act like we shouldve KNOWN the former because of the latter. that has horrible implications think before you speak idk

People be out there not getting along with their siblings and having friends that call them stupid and annoying and act like it's a flex lmao

thinking about how 🐱 wrote geniunuely harmful stereotypes about my cultures and then when I called her out she told me she knows better than me. Sorry making a drunk Russian man beating on his Ukrainian wife who takes it and is subservient is uh.... yeah uh what the fuck are you doing. She made them because she was inspired by me and my culture too which is WHAT???? 😭 My bf was literally like wait no way that's actually rly horrible. She's also written other harmful things about them that I'm like gIRL.

Like yes I know I'm a third gen slav with an American upbringing and some other cultures in my blood now but fuck 🐱.

Like my best friend has Slavic ocs and they're rly cute and have magic powers which is cool as hell!!!! and she asked me if she's leaning on harmful shit, like we wrote our characters and then their cultures not what fucking 🐱 did with them.

🐱 talks about stealing people's ocs bc of whatever bullshit.... Time to fuck with her and rework her characters tenfold /j (I'm not actually like that lmao)

pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now that i'm actually Watching the witcher i'm beginning to really appreciate yennefer's character and especially the framing of her desire for a child because the first time i tried watching i thought it was your standard "i wish i was a mother i am a woman i have been robbed of the chance of being a mother 😔" but now it's really clear to me this is just another extension of her desire for power, like she doesn't want a child because she wants to nurture something and raise it with love, she wants a child because even with all the power she has it isn't enough and being a mother would give her absolute power over the life of that child

I'm talking abt vrisker or whatever their user is clearly tagging their post... as being violent intrusive thoughts. And ur attacking them for it.

saying "I want to cause a victim of my abuse to have a psychotic break for speaking out about what I did to them" publicly is not an "intrusive thought" and pretending it is only serves to further hurt those with ocd and actual violent intrusive thought

then again, you prats have never cared about actual disordered people so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯