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#talking won't bring him back. anyways look at my cool tattoo
bloodstainsonmyhands · 8 months
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Of Course She's Hot
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Duff Mckagan x reader
Summery: Axl's sister was here and he was very serious about the boys not flirting with her. Duff was 100% sure that it would be easy enough, until she's finally introduced to them.
Warnings: Swearing, Axl in general (i kid i kid) lmk if I missed any.
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I slightly rolled my eyes as Axl went on and on, hardly paying any attention to what he was saying. I know it’s something about his.. Cousin? Slash punched my shoulder a bit, looking at me intently. I glared at him, mouthing what. He gestured to Axl, and I looked over seeing Axl glaring at me. Christ, what did he say? “I want you to fucking listen. Do not flirt with my fucking sister!” He snapped. I raised my hands in defense, “I won't! Promise! Is she uh.. Here or something?”. Izzy groaned covering his face and Slash sighed. 
“Yes.. she's fucking here. If you were listening you would’ve fuckin heard that.” Axl said, crossing his arms. “Okay cool, I won't flirt with her okay!” I said with a soft sigh. “And don’t bring up anything about an ex boyfriend okay” He said getting closer to me. “Axl I fuckin won’t okay. I’m sure we won’t even talk much” I rolled my eyes. I don’t understand why he was being so protective of his sister. I’m sure she wasn’t all that cool anyway. 
  Axl opened his mouth to probably berate me more when suddenly the doorbell rang. “That’s probably her.. Remember no flirting and no ex boyfriend” He said, looking at all of us as he ran off to get the door. “My fucking god Duff, he was about to kill you!” Slash said with a small chuckle. I sat on the couch with a sigh, “Well it’s not my fault, he wouldn’t shut up. And I doubt his sisters all that anyway..”. Izzy shrugged leaning against the armrest of the couch “I don’t know, but he seems pretty protective over her, so just humor him. I don’t wanna spend the weekend at the hospital just cause you spaced out” He said with a small smile. 
Axl came around the corner with a smaller figure next to him.  “Alright and these are my bandmates..” He said, gesturing to us. I looked at the girl next to him. She was.. Oh god, she was hot. The rest of the guys either did small waves or nodded to her as I looked at her. She had basically perfect fucking hair, a few piercings and tattoos and christ those eyes. She waved at us, smiling softly. Of course she has a cute smile too, I’m fucked. I quickly looked up at Axl and he was glaring right at me. “Lets get your stuff upstairs first” He said not taking his eyes off me as they walked off. 
“You couldn’t have made that any less obvious” Izzy said with a small chuckle. I shook my head, looking at my hands. “God this is going to be impossible.” I grumbled, falling back onto the couch with a long sigh.
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otdiaftg · 2 months
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Neil lifts a cup down from the cabinet and shakes his medicine out of the bag. There he stops, because he can only imagine how much it'd hurt his fingers to unscrew that child-safety cap. He looks around for something to make it easier and see's Kevin waiting in the doorway.
Kevin glances from Neil to Matt and speaks in French. "When Riko finds out what your father did to your face, he will retaliate." By now Matt is used to them jabbering away in foreign languages around him. He gives no sign he hears them or cares what they are saying but pulled coffee beans and filters down from the cabinet. Neil wars with himself, heart tripping and skipping with unjustified nerves. He studies Matt's profile until Matt cuts the grinder off, then looks past him to Kevin. "Can he do anything about it, though?" Neil asks in English. Matt freezes with the filter halfway to the coffee maker. In the doorway, Kevin tenses up in incomprehension or disapproval. Neil feels Matt's eyes on him but doesn't return the look. Just last night he'd said he is done lying to Matt. He can't expect Matt to believe him if he talks behind Matt's back today. The upperclassmen know the whole story now, anyway, so there is no reason to hide this inevitable complication. "By now Kengo knows my father's dead and I'm alive. Worse, he knows the FBI has already talked to me. He has to make a decision on me one way or the other. Will Riko risk making the first move?" Kevin flicks a cool look at Matt but obediently brings the conversation back to English. "They touched what they never should have. By erasing your tattoo they've swept him aside as insignificant. Riko won't tolerate that." Kevin lifts his left hand as a prime example of Riko's violent inferiority complex. "If he thinks he can sneak past his father to get you, he will." "Let him try," Neil says. "He knows where he can find me." "Your false bravado helps no one." "Neither does your cowardice," Neil points out. "I was only afraid of Riko because he knew who I was. What can he hold against me now that everyone knows the truth?" Neil gives Kevin a moment to digest that then said, "Andrew says the Ravens have to let this feud play out this spring, so Riko can't even come after the rest of you yet. They might kick and fuss a bit but you're safe from them for now." "You believe him?" Matt asks. Neil shrugs. "Tetsuji calmed their crazy fans down by saying the Ravens would handle us on the court. He has to deliver, so yeah, I believe Andrew. But hey, since Riko's hands are tied," Neil said, glancing back at Kevin, "now's a perfect time to take that off your face." It takes Kevin a moment to catch on, and he jerks like he's been struck. "Don't even joke like that." "I'm not joking. Allison said she'd spot me the cash to take mine off. Maybe she'll do the same for you now that I don't need her help." "No question," Matt says. "She loves a good scandal." "Stop," Kevin says. "Shut up." "You're supposed to be done being second-best," Neil says. "Prove it." Kevin makes a cutting gesture at him and storms out.
Day: Monday, March 11th / 12th* Time: 8:38 AM EST
*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.
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baekhvuns · 1 year
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Baek, wake up it's time for your avocado class! Btw my flatmates and I plant avo seeds and they actually bloom despite the environment not being the best for them. We have avocado plants, they're so tall wtf
I know someone who has a husband - she made him a kpop stan as well. And he pays for all her kpop shit. What I didn't know was that she has a child, she never mentions him, just simps and cries over Ateez I assumed she's childless, wtf woman. I'm not shaming her age, but she's 37 spending all her days talking about kpop...
I was actually interested in Ranamun, and the recent penis thing was entertaining shgsjshsjshshs, but man needs to grow up. I think Sir Knight is over for me, I lost interest in him long ago and reading the spoilers made me actually dislike him. I don't think he gave her a reason, at least not yet. First he seemed excited, then just ghosted Latil 🤡 I hope he's not the father, cause 🔪 my friend was rooting for him before she read the novel, but his behaviour is overall disappointing. I don't know what's going on with Klein, he's still there that's for sure ajhshshsbahhahs. Anyways, Tasir my fave foxy drug dealer look alike, I love you so much. 💖
Richarlison did what? I hope the Neymar tattoo is really ugly, deserved 😆 congrats to 🇭🇷! 🇲🇦 did well so congrats as well.
I know who the cat belongs to hahha. There's also one older neighbour with a dog and a parrot, she used to have an old cat too. I'm interested in the animals not owners. <3 Lmao, I definitely imagine weird scenarios before going to sleep, though I don't want any man obsessed with me so I don't do that particular thing,but y'all have fun 🤗
It's not my cousin, so I don't know all the details, but yeah this whole affair situation is funny, hopefully they don't fuck it up 👁👄👁
Kpop stans love acting like managers and sure sometimes they have good points, I'm also baffled by weird choices companies make. But in the end we need to sit down and stfu. Looking forward to Yeosang's song cover though!
One of my friend had so many different impressions of Hwa, first she thought he was intimidating, then shy and quiet and didn't know the lovely loser that he is. But she finally saw his questionable and adorable behaviour and she's goneeee
Agreed about the autotune and live thing. Ok sooooometimes hearing a song live makes a difference, but it won't make me listen to the OG. Like I enjoyed the videos of Fireworks remix performance, but I still don't like it very much. I hope Ateez brings melodic choruses back 😭 I'm still on the fence with Movement's choruses, except Cyberpunk, and Paradigm has the same issue. Or at least make the drop less messy, idk just do something lmao
EXO really went radio silent then went SURPRISE, the whiplash!
Oiling means a lot of touching 👀 if the oil smells nice it's not a problem, but yeah bandaging it is. Let's mummify him
Ballerina and boxer, I'm in, however you know what I'm waiting for... but I'll be happy with anything. 😊 Bestie hang on there you can do it (finish the Yunho fic)
What is this guy saying?! His photo along with Seonghwa's were the best! And what is he planning to do with his hair... speaking of, PONYTAIL IS BACK and arms are out too. Why is he a grandpa
True true an icon & this is so cool, also hold on, back off
😭
Furry...
I got not like the other girls on the quiz....... DV 💖
hello!!!
Baek, wake up it's time for your avocado class! Btw my flatmates and I plant avo seeds and they actually bloom despite the environment not being the best for them. We have avocado plants, they're so tall wtf
I AM UP (for all the right reasons that were worth it), AVO 101 😭😭😭 omg??? u guy should start a avo business, 'home-grown-avo's!' 16$ each
I know someone who has a husband - she made him a kpop stan as well. And he pays for all her kpop shit. What I didn't know was that she has a child, she never mentions him, just simps and cries over Ateez I assumed she's childless, wtf woman. I'm not shaming her age, but she's 37 spending all her days talking about kpop...
kpop atp a whole pyramid scheme 😭😭 oh man i hope it's not that one case where the child was an exol and the mom was an army and it was this whole ruckus bc in the end the kid suffered 😭😭, id personally invest in a job or two at that age <3 a world outside kpop!
I was actually interested in Ranamun, and the recent penis thing was entertaining shgsjshsjshshs, but man needs to grow up. I think Sir Knight is over for me, I lost interest in him long ago and reading the spoilers made me actually dislike him. I don't think he gave her a reason, at least not yet. First he seemed excited, then just ghosted Latil 🤡 I hope he's not the father, cause 🔪 my friend was rooting for him before she read the novel, but his behaviour is overall disappointing. I don't know what's going on with Klein, he's still there that's for sure ajhshshsbahhahs. Anyways, Tasir my fave foxy drug dealer look alike, I love you so much. 💖
I AM TOO AND TH EPENIS THING 😭😭😭V WDYM WHAT HAPPENED TO IT DJFHGFHJGG loosing interest in this fic come on mr sonnaught 😭😭 NAURR WE COULDVE HAD A POWER COUPLE WHY WOULD HE DO THIS STOPPP if sonnaught doesn't do a 360 in his behaviour is on sight 🔪🔪 TASIR IM SORRY I DOUBTED U, UR THE ONE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE
Richarlison did what? I hope the Neymar tattoo is really ugly, deserved 😆 congrats to 🇭🇷! 🇲🇦 did well so congrats as well.
YEAH 😭😭😭😭 IT IS DJHJDHFJ I DONT THINK RICHARLISON ACTUALLY DID IT PROBS SOMEONE ELSE FBFB BUT IT SENDS ME THAT HE PAID TO REMOVE IT 😭😭😭 JOKES,,, bestie did u watch today's match, woah woah what a game, the constant equalizing in goals and then penalties and the final results, bro won football 😭😭 morocco is crazy good it was a tough one w croatia,, this has me crying not produce 48😭😭😭
I know who the cat belongs to hahha. There's also one older neighbour with a dog and a parrot, she used to have an old cat too. I'm interested in the animals not owners. <3 Lmao, I definitely imagine weird scenarios before going to sleep, though I don't want any man obsessed with me so I don't do that particular thing,but y'all have fun 🤗
GOD DAMN IT DOES THE CAT HAVE SOME GODFATHER,, do u do this bc IT SEEMS LIKE I HAVENT LIVED A SINGLE SCENARIO TO MYSELF AND EVERYONE JUST BE DOING THIS SDHFGLAF,, no ur so right having someone obsessed w ut entire being is only good in fics
It's not my cousin, so I don't know all the details, but yeah this whole affair situation is funny, hopefully they don't fuck it up 👁👄👁 //// Kpop stans love acting like managers and sure sometimes they have good points, I'm also baffled by weird choices companies make. But in the end we need to sit down and stfu. Looking forward to Yeosang's song cover though!
AAHHHH STOP A ETL AND ITS FUNNY?????/ TOP TEIR ROMANCE RIGHT THERE,, u are so correct i also find a particular dislike in tweets that constantly mention that the kq isn't giving members promo, but ppl don't even be watching the content their channel puts out? or forgetting that they're always doing something like we are still getting shows from fever era?? like sometimes there's just a lot in a schedule and companies do everything, instead of creating assumptions one should enjoy the content they're constantly putting out!
One of my friend had so many different impressions of Hwa, first she thought he was intimidating, then shy and quiet and didn't know the lovely loser that he is. But she finally saw his questionable and adorable behaviour and she's goneeee
LOVELY LOSER SFDSHKFSHJKF see it's always the ppl who look intimidating but are actual tulips that get us all by the grip, so ur saying we all just want an intimidating person who has loser tendencies dvbjdfb
Agreed about the autotune and live thing. Ok sooooometimes hearing a song live makes a difference, but it won't make me listen to the OG. Like I enjoyed the videos of Fireworks remix performance, but I still don't like it very much. I hope Ateez brings melodic choruses back 😭 I'm still on the fence with Movement's choruses, except Cyberpunk, and Paradigm has the same issue. Or at least make the drop less messy, idk just do something lmao
okAY YEAH SOMETIMES, yeah! it won't make me like the og bc then the concert one's arent usually put out and those ones are the better ones!! "I hope Ateez brings melodic choruses back 😭" nO BECAUSE REALLY THEY RLY SHINED WITH THEIR VOCALS THAT TIME,, tbh movement is ateez's evil arc and i do be liking that album but paradigm is something i personally can't get along w bc it's just noise
EXO really went radio silent then went SURPRISE, the whiplash!
THE WHIPLASH AND ON TOP OF THAT BAEKHYUN READING FANFICS, DOUBLE WHIPLASH 😭😭😭😭
Oiling means a lot of touching 👀 if the oil smells nice it's not a problem, but yeah bandaging it is. Let's mummify him
king tut who? king hwa only, sEEeEeeE with the oil and my low iron my hands would be cold and im afraid he will run away
Ballerina and boxer, I'm in, however you know what I'm waiting for... but I'll be happy with anything. 😊 Bestie hang on there you can do it (finish the Yunho fic)
i now have 4 fics u can chose from but i will put them out after this shit of a fic fhkcehfjh hopefully i get it done before christmas!
What is this guy saying?! His photo along with Seonghwa's were the best! And what is he planning to do with his hair... speaking of, PONYTAIL IS BACK and arms are out too. Why is he a grandpa
NO LITERALLY WHAT IS HE ON,, no ones looking at the ponytail. no. none. STOPPPPP HES LIKE THAT GRANDPA FROM REBORN RICH FHFLHF one min he's grandpa the other he is this? how dare he
True true an icon & this is so cool, also hold on, back off /// 😭
THAT HAIR OF HWA ESP, HAIR STYLIST NEEDS A RAISE FOR THAT ALONE,, atz back in the day rivalling seo taiji i see i see, NAH STAY WHERE U ARE NEWBIES
Furry...
alpha hwa x reader au coming soon
I got not like the other girls on the quiz....... DV 💖
NOT THAT SGHAGLGFHUFHFJH ANON U ARE THE YN !!!!! here's a new one
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and uh, this guy?
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agentcherricola · 2 years
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PLEASE talk abt ur dnd guys im pulling out a folding chair and listening intently
ok SO
i already talked about argo and gray in the discord so i'm gonna talk about kidias
the love of my life kidias "kid fresh" semiand is a mid-20s tiefling rogue/fighter with a penchant for flintlock pistols. he's an ex-pirate who was marooned by his crew for stealing from the captain and is now back in town looking to make some dough. the rest is gonna be under a readmore because it might get long LMAO
kid's whole damage is he kind of grew up on the streets by himself after being abandoned by his parents when he was still really young. we found out a while into the campaign that they were humans and minor nobility, and he was essentially the product of a deal to the devil gone wrong, so they abandoned him out of fear/shame
but he was kind of raised as a rebellious teen by a half-elven woman named jillian semiand who taught him how to fence and take care of himself. she didn't exactly encourage him to becoming kind of a thief but she didn't really stop him from it, either. she did try to talk him out of signing onto the crew of one johannes skullbrander, but he did anyway, and that was the last he saw of her for a while
so kid sails around making money and traveling the world, learning to shoot and fight and plunder etc etc etc. he'd even gotten kind of close to the captain and gone up in rank on the ship! but his greed got the better of him and he was caught stealing some trinkets from the captain's personal quarters. obviously johannes didn't like that, had him flogged and dropped off on the nearest island.
which brings us to the present, where kidias is still very charismatic and smarmy and flirty, but definitely with a mean streak and some walls around his heart (and pretty serious mommy/daddy/abandonment issues). walls which have been slowly but surely been chipped away by his party (who he would reluctantly call his friends <33333) he's learning to love himself as not a mistake or an unnatural freak from hell, but as his own guy. and he's learning to let others in knowing that they won't just leave him out of nowhere.
my favorite thing about kid is how hard he tried to flirt with any hot guy we came across, but he failed spectacularly until he met his boyfriend seltas <333 a triton courtesan at the hottest nightclub in town owned by another cool and hot tiefling (the only other tiefling he's ever met)
here's images
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the first one is by @/filibusterfrog on here, it’s my sweet sweet boy with his signature weapons, the other i don’t actually know the artist (it was a gift) of kidias and A.R.T. who is his fuckin bestie and fellow arbiter of chaos >:3c
oh and a bonus one i did of him and seltas <33333 so u can see some of his tattoos
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syubub · 3 years
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2021 Reading for BTS and the collective!!
Wow wow wow! I didn't disappear or get dragged away by a demon. No no, I just got thrust into unexpected shadow work and I now have an unhealthy obsession with sea shanties and a love of pasta.
I had this idea planned to be early in January but that didn't pan out so I'm doing it now. I have another yoongi reading in the works and another fun thing coming soon as well!!
I promise I won't bore you to death any longer but I hope you've all been doing well!!
Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact.
If this message doesn't apply, let it fly!
Cool cool cool.
Let's get it.
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Oki. I first want to say that this I gonna be long lol. I did a meditation and gathered some little pieces of things y'all might need to hear and then I pulled cards for every month. The fountain tarot deck is the cards for us, the collective, and the rider-waite cards are for bts. It'll make more sense when I add picks and stuff. I did a little extra card pull for yoongi for the month of May too :) I'll make sure to type out all the cards in text so you know what they are (the pics are kinda wack.) I also used my pendulum to ask if there was a bts related event for every month and that's at the bottom. It's just to take in the possible energy for the month and something that could result from that energy!
LETTUCE BEGIN (hehe)
Starting with the section for the channeled messages. I want to reiterate that this was collective so if it doesn't resonate with you, the message might not be for you! Use your intuition.
(Enough talking. Damn)
So. As I said this was through meditation and connecting to the big column tree thing (I told my cousin about the tree/pillar and they were like,, "so basically a big energy dildo in the æther?" .... I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. h e l p m e) and asking if there was any messages or advice that needed to be delivered and it was... intresting?
Things came fragmented. So there was little messages like, "Its gonna be okay" and "things are changing for everyone" and "open your eyes if you want to see" (that's sassy.) There was one particular thing that was confusing me though. Straight up it was just "flower" on repeat and like a really bad picture of a flower? Like you could tell what it was but it was bad quality. Anyway, I was like "okay. Kindly shut the fuck up. Pls." And I wrote down flower, pink flower and rose. Sooo.... idk but there you go.
More messages were things like, "the block isn't in your head", "try calling forth that which you seek" and... February. Possibly there is specific (very very very loose) connection to the 10th-19th? I'm not to sure what or why but I'd say maybe look out for opportunities on these days and also maybe external events.
Continuing with dates. In the last this 21 and January 21 came up. It came up again but with 2 messages. So first, either 21st is a day where something is put into motion (possibly private or public) or announced and the second was "add them together dumbass" that's not very kind but 3. Again this has been discussed too but but but... maybe a signal of a third mixtape 👀 (not necessarily on the 21st per say but possibly in March? I'm really not sure).
Oki. I got side tracked like I always do and started thinking about tattoos and stuff and I really want koo to have a peony tattoo. I feel it in my BONES. It would suit him so well. and as I was thinking about tattoos I heard, "don't be surprised if yoongi gets/shows a tattoo this year" ??? What the fuck? I think maybe they messing with me but now I have hopes and I don't want them to be crushed and thrown to the wind :(
Back to normal stuff, "the theme is growth" I think that fits very well with the reading. "Blue might be a lucky color" self explanatory. It might be lucky. "Start practicing grounding and centering" this was LOUD. This will help you in how you react to events in the future. Really do practice this if you haven't.
This is where it gets a little weird. So, I got a message that said "start living as if you never existed." I am not a 100% sure what this means but I think I have a pretty good guess. I hate to make it sound weird like this but by sort of focusing on something that is so hard to comprehend (because our brains can't comprehend not existing very well) you kinda break the 4th wall? Like in Deadpool when he addresses the audience and is aware that he is a character played by Ryan Reynolds? anyway, focusing on something that seemingly impossible you kind of accidentally open up the floodgates for a lot of other things. I would say if you are not in the right headspace to do this don't do it but it can be a powerful way to break up the monotony of reality. The theory that everything happens simultaneously bc time isn't a linear progression events blah blah we are energy blah blah the multiverse blah blah.. Theres so so so so so so so so so much about this and how it applies to things that I could probably write you 10+ dictionaries worth of material but for the sake of simplicity and not wanting to write a novel right now, I will continue. The main lesson is to start challenging your perception of the world around you. Ask why and why and why and why. Essentially seeing cracks in the matrix. Pulling your head out of your cosmic ass, realizing that rose you're smelling is actually daffodil ect. It's not supposed to bring you fear but just kinda encouraging you to question all the things that you perceive as given truths.
I tried to make that sound cohesive but really it's such a big concept that I can't really wrap it up all nice and neat.
Oki. May and March are also important times.
Listen to your intuition and try not to take everything so seriously. I'm not saying to check out and go squat in the Himalayas but it's important to find joy in the now. Life is already tough enough so don't forget to watch a silly show that you like or change your hair to a style you've never tried, wear makeup in a very loud way. Just have fun and don't worry so much about things that you can't control. Listen to yourself and your intuition.
Well that was all over the place. Let's get on to the actual tarot part now.
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For the record, the pictures are right to left.
January for the collective
We have the empress, the sun, 7 of swords and a fortune that says "act well your part; there the honor lies"
Hmm. Ngl I was a little confused to see the empress and the sun for January... I mean it hasn't been great. So I pulled clarity card 7 of swords. The 7 of swords is all about betrayal. It's about the deception and and actively getting away with things. This is people lying, cheating, sneaking and the works.
This makes much more sense!! The Sun card is usually about joy and success and happiness but in this case I see it as illuminating the betrayal. It's shining light on the deception and keeps the spotlight there. Its also an energetic card so I think that shows passion for uncovering the truth.
With the empress card too I think January is all about getting creative in all forms. Creative ways to protest, to mourn, to celebrate, to connect. Also taking in the abundance that we DO have. The beauty that surrounds us. I like to think of aphrodite energy for this. Its not just love and passion and creativity but is also asserting yourself and having strong passion for what you love and fighting for it. Did you know aphrodite was also called upon in ancient Greece in times of war? She was honored as a goddess of war but still a goddess of love, the sea, fertility ect. What I'm trying to say is that being a creative and "feminine" energy is in no way weak. Sometimes the most powerful things come from this energy. Love aggressively with good intentions. The point is that you should take whatever you're feeling and translate it into something creative or something you care about. The fact that covid is still a thing really sucks but take any rage, hurt, sadness, joy, love whatever and use that shit to make something amazing. Bake bread and punch the fuck out of it, paint your frustration, play hopscotch in higheels while you listen to heavy metal. You get the point.
Now January for BTS!!
We have the death card. (I only pulled one card bc I have things planned from this)
January has been... strange? To say the least.
This card can be a lot of things for them. I think this points to more maturity in their music? Like they've finally ditched the "shiny kpop boy band" label and are being taken seriously in the west. I also think that they're going through a musical/concept transformation~ I think it also signified the change in plans bc of the Grammys perhaps they had things planned an that fell through so they were forced to rapidly change plan/course.
For January: possible mixtape or announcement.
February for the collective
We have 8 of coins reverse and hanged man reverse.
The 8 of pentacles reverse talks a lot about self improvement. Doing that good good inner work and self care. Working on developing parts of you that you've maybe neglected. It's also learning how to work with how you are instead of wishing you weren't the way you are. If you have a therapist its a great time to maybe ask for any extra tips that you can practice daily to help you even more. Maybe exploring more into insecurities relating to finance or jobs or your passions. If you don't have a therapist but you have the means to get one I always highly recommend. You don't have to have "problems" to see a therapist. Everyone could use a non biased point of view that is literally trained to help you be you best self. If you can't get therapy, I get it. Shits tough rn but there's still things we can do to better ourselves like Journaling and reading therapy blogs or self help books (not the taky shit) or trying a hobby you fell out of touch with. There's also a lot of places where you can get therapy promise on the internet. Most importantly, better yourself in the way that you need. Take time in February to take notice of what you want to improve upon. The 8 of coins reversed does come with the warning not to get stuck in perfectionism. Go easy on yourself and if you find yourself getting frustrated when working on projects, try to take a step back and practice whatever it is in a fun way and then come back to it later
Hanged man reverse talks about knowing that you need to chill but you don't. You'll need too. Maybe you'll find yourself swept up in work and tasks and you're over whelmed and know you need to stop and catch your breath but you resist. Why? Well, perhaps you're trying to ignore reality by filling the empty spaces with things and stuff so you don't have to face what's bothering you. Not wise. Take time for yourself. There's also the flips side where people are just kinda stuck.. creative block. Maybe you want something to turn out one way and it just isn't, so your stuck and frustrated and can't move past it. Let go of your expectation of how it should be and let it be what it is. Go with the flow and maybe you'll see a new way to overcome your problem. You'll eventually get that break through that you need! The theme of February is about self improvement. Listen to yourself.
February for BTS
We have judgment.
Hehe yeah. This card is about rebirth and the inner calling. Letting go of the old to step into the new version of you. This is also a very spiritual card lol. This can talk about a new decision that you have to trust your gut on. This is a very significant card that screams comeback to me. It also can talk about sharing your struggles with a group of people and that to me sounds comeback ish. Maybe this will be an announcement in February, maybe they'll be working on it idk but this is ultimate comeback energy so I hope they utilize this for a big group project!!
February: possible BTS comeback (even my pendulum knows)
March for the collective
The chariot and justice
This plays directly off of February! With the chariot you're taking the self improvement that you've done and putting it to action! Now is the time to act on the dreams and passions that you have don't wait and hope for the best. March is about action and standing in your power.
Justice card is cause and effect and truth. What you do will have consequences good or bad. Not doing anything also has consequences. Cease the moment and make the best of it. You'll be taking responsibility for what you do. You start a business? Now you have the responsibility of running it and you get the credit. Stuff like that. Stand by your decisions with conviction and trust yourself.
There's also the side of justice that talks about bringing justice. If you've been wronged, you'll be brought justice if you stand up for yourself.
We also carry the continuous lesson of learning what we truly believe and challenge those beliefs!
March for BTS
Oki we have the hermit and the 6 of pentacles reverse.
Well... let's start with the 6 of pentacles reverse. This can really talk about being so generous and giving to everyone else that you forget about yourself. I think that maybe they might be over exerting themselves and giving so much that they're exhausted physically and emotionally as well. I think too, they take on so much of our pain like its their own? Idk but this would be a good time to do a large scale fan project to show them a little extra love!
With the hermit card it talks about a self introspection so they could be looking inward as a team and kinda evaluating their bond.
I also see this as maybe being alone as in they maybe can't physically go to the grammys? Or maybe they had been planning the rescheduled concerts and they had to be pushed back even further? Things like that. Regardless this signals re thinking/reevaluating the goals that they have and considering what direction to go in!
March: possible mixtape or solo project?
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April for the collective
We have 6 of coins and 3 of cups reverse.
Let's start with the 6 of coins. It's about sharing. It can be about charity so sharing money via donation but also giving time, effort, energy to people as well. Giving knowledge is good too! It's an all round exchange. Maybe someone lends you money or you lend money to someone. It's give and take. It's a two way street. It's also a card of balanced finance. So money stuff should be looking promising around this time (for you U.S people this could point to more stimulus help as well)
And for the 3 of cups reversed... I see this as reopening of places and people struggling to find the balance. So think people who've been in lockdown celebrating by throwing a big party... yikes. This card reminds that we should be mindful of the long-term consequences that come with our actions.. maybe also people that are experiencing fear of being in public places now. This is only one facet though. Bc I think this also means in general, missing being with friends and having a renewed relationship because you've really realized how important it is to have these people that mean so much to you in your life. Don't forget that you have people that love you and want the best for you. Call them when you feel alone.
April for BTS
The heirophant
Mhmm. This one kinda gives me vibes that they'll be mentoring people? Idk but I see them more as the heirophant teaching what they've learned/ know to help guide others. HOWEVER this could also be them taking a new task under their belt. Learning something new. Since this is as a group reading I assume that this talks about the group as a whole. This card is also very tradition oriented so maybe they are taking lessons that are connected to traditional Korean culture? Maybe its for RUN or maybe its to incorporate into music and preformance. Think bts mma preformance but all of them learning together? Idk, it's just a thought (maybe wishful thinking). It also talks about seeking counseling so maybe they'll do yoongis idea from the most recent RUN.
This can also be them embracing this kind of leadership/ status.
April: I got nothing. It does feel like something though
May for the collective
Five of cups and queen of cups reversed
Five of cups is disappointment, regret and self pity. Now honestly this to me looks like possibly a tightening of restrictions yet again. Regardless of the situation that this is talking about, the best thing you can do is not wallow in the bullshit. You scrape yourself off the pavement and move foward. You'll need forgiveness of yourself and others and that if shit isn't going your way, you need to pull your head out of your ass and look around bc there's options out there. It's like drowning in a kiddie pool. Just stand up, dude. The water is like 5 inches.
Queen of cups reversed talks about self love and self care. It's more of that look inwards energy. Think about really taking care of yourself. May might be emotionally draining so you need to be ready to take care of you! Part of self care is making sure that your boundaries are well enforced.
Be on the look out for codependent behaviors. Check in with yourself.
The queen of cups is very intuitive and having it in reverse can talk about you not taking enough time to listen to it. Make an effort to meditate for like 5 minutes a day at least. Do something to let yourself connect to your intuition and higher self.
May for BTS
9 of pentacles
This about enjoying the fruits of your labor and absolute abundance and luxury. This could talk about them rolling in the dough after signing a new partnership or having a concert or something if the sort. This could also be a time where we see them buying new things like houses, cars and rings (lol) but also this could be them doing a very high production value project! Also namjoon and his bonsai army are thriving in this time!
May: possible concert or scheduled concert event. Activity of some kind.
Yoongi interlude
I asked for one card to give me an idea of what the mystical May 13th really is. I got: the star, 2 of cups, 4 of wands, the world and the sun.
Guys. I can't with this. 2 of cups is a card of union, romance, soulmate. 4 of wands is celebration, joy, homecoming, bliss. The world is completion and the sun is happiness, joy, marriage, enlightenment.
I've said it a billion times but that's some soulmate shit. So soft so cute and May will be eventful for his personal life.
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June for the collective
Death and the heirophant reversed.
Wow wow wow death is transformation and a new chapter so a new way of life and something new/ different that changes how we see things. Again this could be relating to new covid things and new policies and stuff like that but also new as in new to all of us. Groundbreaking perhaps?
The heirophant reversed talks about teaching yourself. Being your own teacher and making your own path. This might be spiritual or otherwise. Challange what the world wants from you and instead listen to what you truly want bc you don't need anyone's approval. Continue to ask questions about why things are the way that they are.
June for BTS
Page of pentacles
Oki oki page of pentacles means a new creative venture and manifestation. Maybe something that they've been wanting for a while finally comes to fruition. This might be the start of a new project that they haven't done before or something cross genre? Idk but its a really good sign of being motivated for a new endeavor and manifesting any projects that they've ever wanted to do. Love this promising energy!!
June: idk
July for the collective
10 of swords and 9 of cups reversed.
10 of swords signals a painful ending. Also deceit. Its a necessary end to a long battle. The only thing you can do is control how you react in these situations. You just kinda gotta surrender into the pain and know that it's temporary. Take time to reflect on what happened and why and how it will help you grow.
The 9 of cups reversed talks about valuing stuff and material things over emotions and spiritual things. This can be talking about society in general, that we are becoming more aware to the fact that there is often more value placed on ephemeral items rather than humanity as a whole. This also can be talking about coming to the realization that we've been working so hard towards... something we don't really care about simply because we were told that it's what you do.
If you want something different to happen you have to put in effort. You can't be sitting in front of a water fountain being like, "damn. I'm thirsty. I really really want water so why isn't it in my mouth yet?" Like?? Hello? You have to take the first step, my dude.
Certainly don't try to do anything that would cost you finatial security or health.
You have the potential to find happiness within yourself. So try looking inside instead of looking outward.
July for BTS
4 of swords.
This is about rest and relaxation!
Taking time to meditate and take some time to look at what you've done objectively. Ots like the hermit in a way but much more focused on resting and relaxing so you can come back stronger and with better direction. Maybe they'll take a break for a couple days but I really see it as them reassessing options. Especially if July goes how I think it will. Maybe they'll film something like In The Soop again? Maybe we'll see bon voyage type thing? Idk. But it could be something kinda out of the spotlight? Maybe something more healing?
July: maybe something?? I'm not sure but it seems like something might be in store.
August for the collective
5 of coins and the wheel of fortune
Well let's see. 5 of pentacles talks about isolation and a negative mindset. This talks about falling on hard times but its a temporary set back. This energy can be talking about falling on hard times emotionally as well. In the card it shows a woman outside of a church shivering and cold but she's too busy thinking about all that she's lost that she doesn't notice the warm church that she could step into for shelter.
But then with he wheel of fortune that talks about fate/destiny, opportunity and luck so maybe this is a necessary loss so that a new door can open. This does kinda tie in with July as well. The end of something is painful but it's often a necessary thing. Might be a bit uncomfy but that's how things change. Again I see this maybe hinting more towards society but none the less it's definitely a theme for August to have doors closing and new ones opening so be on the lookout for that.
August for BTS
The devil.
Now don't fret. The devil talks a lot about choice. Most notably the choice between instant gratification and and something more substantial and the devil leans towards indulgence. It also has a lot to do with the shadow side. This could talk about ~scandal~ sure, but I think its more of a time where you become aware of negative patterns and you shine a light on that part you've ignored. On a much lighter note this card talks also about an incredible bond between people. It can be unhealthy if not given space or boundaries. Listen to pied piper and come back to me.
I also REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that this card points to this: sexuality. The boys have always been pretty pg when it comes to the topic of sex and embracing sexuality so I really do hope to see something more daring and grown up and exploring a tastefully sexy concept. On the same vain as sexuality this card also talks about kinks and stuff like that so don't be surprised if we get more outfits like fake love Era bondage harnesses.
August: ???
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September for the collective
We have the world and 10 of wands reversed.
The 10 of wands reversed talks about carrying burden. Doing extra work and taking on more responsibility. Doing everything by yourself and carrying this heavy load alone will get you burnt out quicker than anything. You might be taking on too much and you'll need to prioritize what you really need to focus on. I also think there will just be a lot happening in September for a lot of people. It's a lot of working hard because you know it's good work or because it's what's right. This could be social responsibility that's placed on you or work responsibility. For whatever reason this burden isn't something you want to share with others because you think its yours alone to deal with. It's not though bc you'll figure out eventually that if it hurts so much you'll find a way to lessen the burden. 10 in tarot is all about the completion of a cycle and going through the wands cycle is hard work because for anything to be made of passion, you need to put the work behind it. The burden isn't forever, the heavy work load will lighten but this is you seeing things out. It's a good thing!
Especially considering this is paired with with world. The world is all about completion and that's what you're doing here is finding completion. You are seeing things out until the end but you just need to learn to give up some responsibility, lessen your burden.
This also talks about hard work being put into wider social spheres as well. Things like the vaccines becoming more widespread through the whole globe or at least better planing and infrastructures not related to covid. Things are looking up!
September for BTS
Knight of swords reverse
This bad boi is restless energy. It's being so pent up that you're ready to burst and you really want to take action but you can't because something is keeping you from taking that action. Again I do think this is kinda covid related in regards to touring bc if they do tour in 2021 its gonna look a lot different. This energy can be a bit impulsive and directionless so I think maybe they'll channel this into album material something? I'm not really sure tbh. I'm suprised this energy didn't show up earlier because it almost seems inevitable.
September: no clue
October for the collective
Ten of coins and the star reverse.
Welp let's start with the 10 of coins. Its about wealth, financial security, and long term success so this is a pretty prosperous time. This talks about the obvious monetary wealth and material wealth but also an abundance of opportunities. So this is definitely a good time to enjoy whatever consistency you have. This energy is really really abundant in the career space as well. So October could be very prosperous in the job field and you'll have likely found what it is you really want and could be successful at. This could be the actual act or just the idea. This is could also talk about investing in something for your future, this could be time or money.
With the star reversed it can talk about a loss of faith and a disconnection. This often points to feeling like you've just been forgotten or left out. Like the universe doesn't give a shit about you and left you out to die. Things might seem unfair but always try to look for the lesson that you can take from the experience. Seeing the 10 of coins and the star makes me think that a lot of people have kinda lost faith in their manifestations and also just in the concept of not living in a state of need. Especially if you see other people doing well and you've been trying so fucking hard but you haven't gotten a break. I know we hate to hear it but this can serve as a test of faith. Or rather an opportunity to get your shit in line and take a second to breath. Do something good for yourself and then continue on. This star in reverse serves to show you what no longer sparks joy and helps you find what does and what that initial spark was in the first place. Helps you get back to the original vision/ spark.
October for BTS
5 of pentacles reverse.
This signals the end of difficult times and getting that groove back. The last month was restless energy with no where to go but this month that energy is certainly put to good use. They might be figuring out what has been missing In their lives and starting to rectify that. They are definitely reminded that material wealth doesn't bring spiritual or emotional wealth. Might be also feeling a bit alienated too.
October: something is likely but idk
November for collective
Six of swords reversed and the moon.
Transition and change is prevalent. The 6 of swords is about leaving behind the familiar. Maune this is leaving a job, a new change in the status quo, leaving a relationship ect. The thing you have to keep in mind is just how amazing this is in terms of what it will do. It will alow growth!! And bring clarity!! Thos can also be societal as well, something being left behind in favor of something new. It's letting go and reflecting so that you can move foward.
This is strengthened by the moon card. The moon card is the subconscious and all the things that come with it. The anxiety, the illusion, the uncertainty. You'll want to deal with whatever emotions come up. The moon can signify a confusing time where things aren't what they seem to be. That's the illusions so you'll have rely more on intuition at a time like this. Your dreams might hold significance in this time as well. Listen to your guides and your own guidance because it will help you understand more than you did before this journey began. Using moon cycles to your advantage in November might really help you!!
November for BTS
7 of wands
Challenge and competition. People are envious of bts. We know this. But people will be challenging them for what they've gained: music industry domination. This might co.e in the way that people will spread vicious rumors in attempt to disenfanchise or possibly it will be a fair fight. It could also be a challenge/ battle for some other aspect that involves legal matters.
My best guess though is good old competition. Bts has proven again and again that they will continue to do what they do how they do but they will not be trampled over. In the best way this could renew some of that spirit in friendly competition. They will tear eachothers throats out for a pack of ramen so maybe a bit of competition will be good for them. It keeps life intresting.
November: nothin
December for the collective
Two of cups and the emperor!
Let's start off with the emperor card talks about stability and order. It can also signify being the "breadwinner" so its a good sign that you'll kinda be on top of your shit. The emperor is also an amazing leader so you might find yourself taking on a leadership role too! This is very organized energy that works very smoothly!
two of cups is such a lovely way to end out the year! It's love and partnership and attraction so if you aren't in a relationship by this time you might meet someone who strikes your fancy!! On a none romantic relationship note though, this card is also great for business partnership bc it signifies that you're on the same page and have the same goals in mind!
It's harmonious relationships and trust between them!! Love love love this energy so much! Cups are the suit of emotions and this card is so promising.
If you are in a relationship, this can talk about "falling in love all over again" like you're just reminded of how good they are.
December for BTS
Queen of cups
Intuition, creativity and emotional stability. They're using intuition to guide their moves foward with emotional maturity. They are in a place of knowing what they want and why. This would be a good time to work on an album or a book or to release them. The queen of cups is like the friend that you can tell absolutely anything and somehow they have a helpful answer. This card is really calm and it can also talk about subconscious thoughts.
I think that bts is maybe making more of a conscious effort to make sure that what they do is just as emotionally fulfilling for them as it is for us! They might be kinda pondering the future at this time and considering if this is what fills their emotional cup!
December: possibly a thing?
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Now these cards are the vibe of the year and some advice.
For the collective (on the left)
Three of swords and judgment reverse.
The fortune says "accept the challenges, so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory"
The 3 of swords is about disappointment and hurt and heartbreak. It's about the emotional release that we all need when shit gets tough. Don't pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, fucking cry. This year is about letting go of expectations and do what you have to do to release so you can move foward and not have these things pile up.
You have to make an effort to not let yourself take on what other people think of you. You aren't defined by what some asshole says. You define yourself.
Judgment reverse is about self doubt and ignoring your path. It's being stagnant and being harsh on yourself. This year has a focus on building yourself up and noticing when you are not. Bring light to the things that are holding you back without harsh judgment for yourself. You can't beat yourself up. If you make a bad decision you know not to make it again. Take accountability and move on.
The oracle card is inner temple.
Seriously all the focus of this year is in self improvement and dear god, please take time to work on yourself spiritually!!! Everything you want to know is there if you take the time to listen. This should be a place where you feel safe and welcome. It definitely should not feel like something you HAVE to do.
For BTS
10 of swords and page of swords
The fortune says "you create your own stage. The audience is waiting" (how tje fuck?? This is the perfect fortune)
The 10 of swords is a painful but necessary end. This is accepting the current situation. They maintain focus for 2021 for them is adapting and keeping their spirits up.
With the page of swords it talks about new ideas and that kind of creativity. It's also a lot about communication so I really think that they'll be figuring out new ways to connect and new projects that will be prosperous.
The oracle card is Pleiades
This is what we talk about all the time. Bts has helped so many people want to be better and do better. They are uplifting humanity and giving people a sense if belonging. Bts finds you when you need them most 💜💜💜
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Wow I had to write this up over 2 days bc this was so fucking long. I need a nap. Idk if I'll proof read this before I post it so don't hate me for the mistakes (honestly, there's like 10,000 spelling and grammar mistakes in my other posts too 🙃)
I hope you guys enjoyed it and maybe this will be helpful to to have a forecast of some possible energy for you to look out for!!
Also bts bc I love them. I have another bts 2021 reading I'll do soon too!
Hope you guys are happy and well 💜
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royalelusts · 3 years
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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.Barry! Breakfast is ready!Coming!Hang on a second.Hello?Barry?Adam?Can you believe this is happening?I can't.I'll pick you up.Looking sharp.Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those.Sorry. I'm excited.Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.A perfect report card, all B's.Very proud.Ma! I got a thing going here.You got lint on your fuzz.Ow! That's me!Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.Bye!Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!Hey, Adam.Hey, Barry.Is that fuzz gel?A little. Special day, graduation.Never thought I'd make it.Three days grade school, three days high school.Those were awkward.Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive.You did come back different.Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.Hear about Frankie?Yeah.You going to the funeral?No, I'm not going.Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead.I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.That's why we don't need vacations.Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances.Well, Adam, today we are men.We are!Bee-men.Amen!Hallelujah!Students, faculty, distinguished bees,please welcome Dean Buzzwell.Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15.That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries!Will we pick our job today?I heard it's just orientation.Heads up! Here we go.Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.Wonder what it'll be like?A little scary.Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.This is it!Wow.Wow.We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive.Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey!That girl was hot.She's my cousin!She is?Yes, we're all cousins.Right. You're right.At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.What do you think he makes?Not enough.Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.What does that do?Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions.Can anyone work on the Krelman?Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.What's the difference?You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.So you'll just work us to death?We'll sure try.Wow! That blew my mind!"What's the difference?"How can you say that?One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make.I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?Why would you question anything? We're bees.We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?Like what? Give me one example.I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.Wait a second. Check it out.Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!Wow.I've never seen them this close.They know what it's like outside The Hive.Yeah, but some don't come back.Hey, Jocks!Hi, Jocks!You guys did great!You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!I wonder where they were.I don't know.Their day's not planned.Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.You
can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.Right.Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it.Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too?Distant. Distant.Look at these two.Couple of Hive Harrys.Let's have fun with them.It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!Oh, my!I never thought I'd knock him out.What were you doing during this?Trying to alert the authorities.I can autograph that.A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?Yeah. Gusty.We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.Six miles, huh?Barry!A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.Maybe I am.You are not!We're going 0900 at J-Gate.What do you think, buzzy-boy?Are you bee enough?I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.Hey, Honex!Dad, you surprised me.You decide what you're interested in?Well, there's a lot of choices.But you only get one.Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?Son, let me tell you about stirring.You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.You get yourself into a rhythm.It's a beautiful thing.You know, Dad, the more I think about it,maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!Barry, you are so funny sometimes.I'm not trying to be funny.You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!You're gonna be a stirrer?No one's listening to me!Wait till you see the sticks I have.I could say anything right now.I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!Let's open some honey and celebrate!Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!I'm so proud.We're starting work today!Today's the day.Come on! All the good jobs will be gone.Yeah, right.Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...Is it still available?Hang on. Two left!One of them's yours! Congratulations!Step to the side.What'd you get?Picking crud out. Stellar!Wow!Couple of newbies?Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!Make your choice.You want to go first?No, you go.Oh, my. What's available?Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.Any chance of getting the Krelman?Sure, you're on.I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.Wax monkey's always open.The Krelman opened up again.What happened?A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!Oh, this is so hard!Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?Barry!All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...What happened to you?Where are you?I'm going out.Out? Out where?Out there.Oh, no!I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?Another call coming in.If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today.Hey, guys.Look at that.Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.Really? Feeling lucky, are you?Sign here, here. Just initial that.Thank you.OK.You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!That's awful.And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions!Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!Black and yellow!Hello!You ready for this,
hot shot?Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.Wind, check.Antennae, check.Nectar pack, check.Wings, check.Stinger, check.Scared out of my shorts, check.OK, ladies,let's move it out!Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!All of you, drain those flowers!Wow! I'm out!I can't believe I'm out!So blue.I feel so fast and free!Box kite!Wow!Flowers!This is Blue Leader, We have roses visual.Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.Roses!30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.Stand to the side, kid.It's got a bit of a kick.That is one nectar collector!Ever see pollination up close?No, sir.I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one.See that? It's a little bit of magic.That's amazing. Why do we do that?That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.Cool.I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow, Could be daisies, Don't we need those?Copy that visual.Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?Affirmative.That was on the line!This is the coolest. What is it?I don't know, but I'm loving this color.It smells good.Not like a flower, but I like it.Yeah, fuzzy.Chemical-y.Careful, guys. It's a little grabby.My sweet lord of bees!Candy-brain, get off there!Problem!Guys!This could be bad.Affirmative.Very close.Gonna hurt.Mama's little boy.You are way out of position, rookie!Coming in at you like a missile!Help me!I don't think these are flowers.Should we tell him?I think he knows.What is this?!Match point!You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!Yowser!Gross.There's a bee in the car!Do something!I'm driving!Hi, bee.He's back here!He's going to sting me!Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!He blinked!Spray him, Granny!What are you doing?!Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.I gotta get home.Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain. Can't fly in rain.Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!Ken, could you close the window please?Ken, could you close the window please?Check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out.Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.What was that?Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes!That is diabolical.It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.What's number one? Star Wars?Nah, I don't go for that... kind of stuff.No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.Wait! Stop! Bee!Stand back. These are winter boots.Wait!Don't kill him!You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!Why does his life have less value than yours?Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.My brochure!There you go, little guy.I'm not scared of him.It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure.My whole face could puff up.Make it one of your special skills.Knocking someone out is also a special skill.Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.You could put carob chips on there.Bye.Supposed to be less calories.Bye.I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something.All right, here it goes.Nah.What would I say?I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to.Oh, I can't do it. Come on!No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't.How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.Here she comes! Speak, you fool!Hi!I'm sorry. You're talking.Yes, I know.You're talking!I'm so sorry.No, it's OK. It's fine.I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed.Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!I am. And
I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me.And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.That was a little weird. I'm talking with a bee.Yeah.I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!I just want to say I'm grateful.I'll leave now.Wait! How did you learn to do that?What?The talking thing.Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.That's very funny.Yeah.Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.Anyway... Can I... get you something?Like what?I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee?I don't want to put you out.It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.It's just coffee.I hate to impose.Don't be ridiculous!Actually, I would love a cup.Hey, you want rum cake?I shouldn't.Have some.No, I can't.Come on!I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.Where?These stripes don't help.You look great!I don't know if you know anything about fashion.Are you all right?No.He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.He finally gets there.He runs up the steps into the church.The wedding is on.And he says, "Watermelon?I thought you said Guatemalan.Why would I marry a watermelon?"Is that a bee joke?That's the kind of stuff we do.Yeah, different.So, what are you gonna do, Barry?About work? I don't know.I want to do my part for The Hive, but I can't do it the way they want.I know how you feel.You do?Sure.My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.Really?My only interest is flowers.Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it?You're in Sheep Meadow!Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.Why do girls put rings on their toes?Why not?It's like putting a hat on your knee.Maybe I'll try that.You all right, ma'am?Oh, yeah. Fine.Just having two cups of coffee!Anyway, this has been great.Thanks for the coffee.Yeah, it's no trouble.Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.Are you...?Can I take a piece of this with me?Sure! Here, have a crumb.Thanks!Yeah.All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not.OK, Barry.And thank you so much again... for before.Oh, that? That was nothing.Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...This can't possibly work.He's all set to go.We may as well try it.OK, Dave, pull the chute.Sounds amazing.It was amazing!It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!Giant, scary humans!What were they like?Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.They eat crazy giant things.They drive crazy.Do they try and kill you, like on TV?Some of them. But some of them don't.How'd you get back?Poodle.You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.Well...Well?Well, I met someone.You did? Was she Bee-ish?A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!No, no, no, not a wasp.Spider?I'm not attracted to spiders.I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face.So who is she?She's... human.No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.Her name's Vanessa.Oh, boy.She's so nice. And she's a florist!Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!We're not dating.You're flying outside The Hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!She saved my life! And she understands me.This is over!Eat this.This is not over! What was that?They call it a crumb.It was so stingin' stripey!And that's not what they eat.That's what falls off what they eat!You know what a Cinnabon is?No.It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...Sit down!...really hot!Listen to me!We are not them! We're us.There's us and there's them!Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!Thinking bee.Thinking bee.Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee!There he is. He's in the pool.You know what your problem is, Barry?I gotta start thinking bee?How much longer will this go on?It's been three days! Why aren't you working?I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.What life? You have no life!You have no job. You're barely a bee!Would it kill you to make a little honey?Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.Martin, would you talk to him?Barry, I'm talking to you!You coming?Got everything?All set!Go ahead. I'll catch up.Don't be too long.Watch this!Vanessa!We're still here.I told you not to yell at him.He doesn't respond to yelling!Then why yell at me?Because you don't listen!I'm not listening to this.Sorry, I've gotta go.Where are you going?I'm meeting a friend.A girl? Is this why you can't decide?Bye.I just hope she's Bee-ish.They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?No. All right, I've got one.How come you don't fly everywhere?It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.Yeah, OK, I see, I see.All right, your turn.TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!You don't have that?We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.Oh, my.Dumb bees!You must want to sting all those jerks.We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.So you have to watch your temper.Very carefully.You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust.Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?Yeah.What is wrong with you?!It's a bug.He's not bothering anybody.Get out of here, you creep!What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?Yeah, it was. How did you know?It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.You've really got that down to a science.I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.I'll bet.What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?How did this get here? cute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select?Is he that actor?I never heard of him.Why is this here?For people. We eat it.You don't have enough food of your own?Well, yes.How do you get it?Bees make it.I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it!There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!It's organic.It's our-ganic!It's just honey, Barry.Just what?!Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!You've taken our homes, schools,hospitals! This is all we have!And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!Hey, Hector. You almost done?Almost.He is here. I sense it.Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.You're busted, box boy!I knew I heard something.So you can talk!I can talk. And now you'll start talking!Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?I don't understand.I thought we were friends.The last thing we want to do is upset bees!You're too late! It's ours now!You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where!Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!Crazy person!What horrible thing has happened here?These faces, they never knew what hit them. And nowthey're on the road to nowhere!Just keep still.What? You're not dead?Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!I'm going to Tacoma.And you?He really is dead.All right.Uh-oh!What is that?!Oh, no!A wiper! Triple blade!Triple blade?Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!Why does everything haveto be so doggone clean?!How much do you people need to see?!Open your eyes!Stick your head out the window!From NPR News in Washington,I'm Carl Kasell.But don't kill no more bugs!Bee!Moose blood guy!!You hear something?Like what?Like tiny screaming.Turn off the radio.Whassup, bee boy?Hey, Blood.Just a row of honey jars, as far as
the eye could see.Wow!I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours.Bees hang tight. We're all jammed in.It's a close community.Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.What if you get in trouble?You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.You got to be kidding me!Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!Hey, guys!Mooseblood!I knew I'd catch y'all down here.Did you bring your crazy straw?We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.What is this place?A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.They are pinheads!Pinhead.Check out the new smoker.Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000!Smoker?Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.They make the honey, and we make the money."They make the honey, and we make the money"?Oh, my!What's going on? Are you OK?Yeah. It doesn't last too long.Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen!What is this?Oh, no!There's hundreds of them!Bee honey.Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.Oh, Barry, stop.Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.Do these look like rumors?That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this?He's been talking to humans.What? Talking to humans?!He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!Make out? Barry!We do not.You wish you could.Whose side are you on?The bees!I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!Dad, I remember you coming home so overworkedyour hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.I remember that.What right do they have to our honey?We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!Even if it's true, what can one bee do?Sting them where it really hurts.In the face! The eye!That would hurt.No.Up the nose? That's a killer.There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.Hive at Five, The Hive's only full-hour action news source.No more bee beards!With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Chung.Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble.And I'm Jeanette Ohung.A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally!Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from The Hive. I can't do this"?Bees have never been afraid to change the world.What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.How old are you?The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century.You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.It's a common name. Next week...He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...Next week...Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.Honey, her backhand's a joke!I'm not gonna take advantage of that?Quiet, please.Actual work going on here.Is that that same bee?Yes, it is!I'm helping him sue the human race.Hello.Hello, bee.This is
Ken.Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.Why does he talk again?Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.But it's our yogurt night!Bye-bye.Why is yogurt night so difficult?!You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours!Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.Frosting...How many sugars?Just one. I try not to use the competition.So why are you helping me?Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.Those are great, if you're three.And artificial flowers.Oh, those just get me psychotic!Yeah, me too.Bent stingers, pointless pollination.Bees must hate those fake things!Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.This lawsuit's a pretty big deal.I guess.You sure you want to go through with it?Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.What have we gotten into here, Barry?It's pretty big, isn't it?I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.What's the matter?I don't know, I just got a chill.Well, if it isn't the bee team.You boys work on this?All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.All right. Case number 4475,Superior Court of New York,Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session.Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?A privilege.Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean.I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches!Talking bee!How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids!Mr. Benson?Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives.Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys!I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are!I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice!Call your first witness.So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.I suppose so.I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?No.I couldn't hear you.No.No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.You mean like this?Bears kill bees!How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away.So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. Where have I heard it before?I was with a band called The Police.But you've never been a police officer, have you?No, I haven't.No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.Oh, please.Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!That's not his real name?! You idiots!Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.Thank you. Thank you.I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!This isn't a goodfella.This is a badfella!Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!Order in this court!You're all thinking it!Order! Order, I say!Say it!Mr. Liotta, please sit down!I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side.Are we doing everything right, legally?I'm a florist.Right. Well, here's to a great team.To a great team!Well, hello.Ken!Hello.I didn't think you were coming.No, I was just late I tried to call, but... the battery.I didn't want all this to go to waste,so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.Oh, that was lucky.There's a little left. I could heat it up.Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.That's where I usually sit. Right... there.Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.You think I don't see what you're doing?I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.Do we?Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.That's just what I was thinking about doing.Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.I'm going to drain the old stinger.Yeah, you do that.Look at that.You know, I've just about had it with your little Mind Games.What's that?Italian Vogue.Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.A lot of ads.Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here!I love the smell of flowers.How do you like the smell of flames?!Not as much.Water bug! Not taking sides!Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat!This is pathetic!I've got issues!Well, well, well, a royal flush!You're bluffing.Am I?Surf's up, dude!Poo water!That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings!Kenneth! What are you doing?!You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!We need to talk! He's just a little bee!And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!Goodbye, Ken.And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!I'm sorry about all that.I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.Oh, well.Are you OK for the trial?I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...Yeah.Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees.You got the tweezers?Are you allergic?Only to losing, son. Only to losing.Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know.What exactly is your relationship to that woman?We're friends.Good friends?Yes.How good? Do you live together?Wait a minute... Are you her little... bedbug?I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?Yeah, but...So those aren't your real parents!Oh, Barry...Yes, they are!Hold me back!You're an illegitimate bee,
aren't you, Benson?He's denouncing bees!Don't y'all date your cousins?Objection!I'm going to pincushion this guy!Adam, don't! It's what he wants!Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit!Order! Order!The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!Adam, stay with me.I can't feel my legs.What Angel of Mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please!The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed Turn Against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.Hey, buddy.Hey.Is there much pain?Yeah.I... I blew the whole case, didn't I?It doesn't matter. What matters isyou're alive. You could have died.I'd be better off dead. Look at me.They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it.What was it like to sting someone?I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then...and then ecstasy!All right.You think it was all a trap?Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.What will the humans do to us if they win?I don't know.I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!Oh, my.Could you get a nurse to close that window?Why?The smoke.Bees don't smoke.Right. Bees don't smoke.Bees don't smoke!But some bees are smoking.That's it! That's our case!It is? It's not over?Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.Mr. Flayman.Yes? Yes, Your Honor!Where is the rest of your team?Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time.I actually heard a funny story about...Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.But you can't! We have a terrific case.Where is your proof?Where is the evidence?Show me the smoking gun!Hold it, Your Honor!You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun.What is that?It's a bee smoker!What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps?Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?What are we gonna do?He's playing the species card.Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees!The court finds in favor of the bees!Vanessa, we won!I knew you could do it! High-five!Sorry.I'm OK! You know what this means?All the honey will finally belong to the bees.Now we won't have to work so hard all the time.This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.You'll regret this.Barry, how much honey is out there?All right. One at a time.Barry, who are you wearing?My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.What if Montgomery's right?What do you mean?We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years.Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement?First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps.Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop.We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine.We're all aware of what they do in the woods.Wait for my signal. Take him
out.He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine.And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames...But it's just a prance-about stage name!...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments.Can't breathe.Bring it in, boys!Hold it right there! Good.Tap it.Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups and there's gallons more coming!I think we need to shut down!Shut down? We've never shut down.Shut down honey production!Stop making honey!Turn your key, sir!What do we do now?Cannonball!We're shutting honey production!Mission abort.Aborting pollination and nectar detail.Returning to base.Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there.Oh, yeah?What's going on? Where is everybody?Are they out celebrating?They're home.They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in.I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket.At least we got our honey back.Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't?It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it.This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now...Now I can't.I don't understand why they're not happy.I thought their lives would be better!They're doing nothing. It's amazing.Honey really changes people.You don't have any idea what's going on, do you?What did you want to show me?This.What happened here?That is not the half of it.Oh, no. Oh, my.They're all wilting.Doesn't look very good, does it?No.And whose fault do you think that is?You know, I'm gonna guess bees.Bees?Specifically, me.I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things.It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.That's our whole SAT test right there.Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom.And then, of course...The human species?So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it?I know this is also partly my fault.How about a suicide pact?How do we do it?I'll sting you, you step on me.That just kills you twice.Right, right.Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going.I had to open my mouth and talk.Vanessa?Vanessa? Why are you leaving?Where are you going?To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena.They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying.It's the Last Chance I'll ever have to see it.Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry.I never meant it to turn out like this.I know. Me neither.Tournament of Roses.Roses can't do sports.Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?Roses!Vanessa!Roses?!Barry?Roses are flowers!Yes, they are.Flowers, bees, pollen!I know.That's why this is the last parade.Maybe not.Could you ask him to slow down?Could you slow down?Barry!OK, I made a huge mistake.This is a total disaster, all my fault.Yes, it kind of is.I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse.Actually, it's completely closed down.I thought maybe you were remodeling.But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined.I don't want to hear it!All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen.I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park.All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got.Bees.Park.Pollen!Flowers.Repollination!Across the nation!Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California.They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy.Security will be tight.I have an idea.Vanessa Bloome, FTD.Official floral business. It's real.Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.Thank you. It was a gift.Once inside, we just pick the right float.How about The Princess and the Pea?I could be the princess, and you could be the pea!Yes, I got it.Where should I sit?What are you?I believe I'm the pea.The pea?It goes under the mattresses.Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.I'm getting the marshal.You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco!Let's see what this baby'll do.Hey, what are you doing?!Then all we do is blend in with traffic... without arousing suspicion.Once at the airport, there's no
stopping us.Stop! Security.You and your insect pack your float?Yes.Has it been in your possession the entire time?Would you remove your shoes?Remove your stinger.It's part of me.I know. Just having some fun.Enjoy your flight.Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!I think this is gonna work.It's got to work.Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.I gotta get up there and talk to them.Be careful.Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.Captain, I'm in a real situation.What'd you say, Hal?Nothing.Bee!Don't freak out! My entire species...What are you doing?Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!Who's an attorney?Don't move.Oh, Barry.Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry!What happened here?There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious!Is that another bee joke?No!No one's flying the plane!This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status?This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York.Where's the pilot?He's unconscious, and so is the copilot.Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience?As a matter of fact, there is.Who's that?Barry Benson.From the honey trial?! Oh, great.Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.It's got giant wings, huge engines.I can't fly a plane.Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot?Yes.How hard could it be?Wait, Barry!We're headed into some lightning.This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing.Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory...That's Barry!...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew.Flowers?!We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience.Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.They've done enough damage.But isn't he your only hope?Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all.Their wings are too small... Haven't we heard this a million times?"The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."Get this on the air!Got it.Stand by.We're going live.The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference.More than we realized. To us, to everyone.That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O.We get behind a fellow.Black and yellow!Hello!Left, right, down, hover.Hover?Forget hover.This isn't so hard.Beep-beep! Beep-beep!Barry, what happened?!Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time.That may have been helping me.And now we're not!So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out!Move out!Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane!Don't have to yell.I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble.It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice!It's not a tone. I'm panicking!I can't do this!Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it!You snap out of it.You snap out of it.You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!You snap out of it!Hold it!Why? Come on, it's my turn.How is the plane flying?I don't know.Hello?Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there?The Pollen Jocks!They do get behind a fellow.Black and yellow.Hello.All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop.Where? I can't see anything. Can you?No, nothing. It's all cloudy.Come on. You got to think bee, Barry.Thinking bee.Thinking
bee.Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something.What?I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.Bring the nose down.Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!What in the world is on the tarmac?Get some lights on that!Thinking bee!Thinking bee! Thinking bee!Vanessa, aim for the flower.OK.Cut the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys?Affirmative!Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.Land on that flower!Ready? Full reverse!Spin it around!Not that flower! The other one!Which one?That flower.I'm aiming at the flower!That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt.I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees!Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.Rotate around it.This is insane, Barry!This's the only way I know how to fly.Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern?Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse!Just drop it. Be a part of it.Aim for the center!Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!Come on, already.Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!Yes. No high-five!Right.Barry, it worked!Did you see the giant flower?What giant flower? Where? Of courseI saw the flower! That was genius!Thank you.But we're not done yet.Listen, everyone!This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.That means this is our Last Chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this.If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains?We're bees!Keychain!Then follow me! Except Keychain.Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this.Yeah!I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.Oh, yeah.That's our Barry.Mom! The bees are back!If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight!Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next?Would you like some honey with that?It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel!Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!I had no idea.Barry, I'm sorry.Have you got a moment?Would you excuse me?My mosquito associate will help you.Sorry I'm late.He's a lawyer too?I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase.Have a great afternoon!Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere.No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me.You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next?All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly.Thank you, Barry!That bee is living my life!Let it go, Kenny.When will this nightmare end?!Let it all go.Beautiful day to fly.Sure is.Between you and me,I was dying to get out of that office.You have got to start thinking bee, my friend.Thinking bee!Me?Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it.I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here?I'm not making a major life decision during a production number!All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys.I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
love you :')
….I hate you🧍🏽‍♀️
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Dead in the water
Me and Dean sat on the edge of the bed like two teenagers in trouble as Sam was pacing the room, trying to think on what he should say. Finally he stops and looks at the both of us with his arms crossed.
"So let me get this straight, you tell her you wanna wait till she's eighteen but then you decide screw it?"
"....Sammy-" Dean begins to say but Sam cuts him off.
"Dean if your gonna be with her then you can't have sex till she's eighteen."
"Your ove- wait...what? So hold on your ok with this?"
"Yeah, I mean it was gonna happen sooner or later. It's hard for you to stay away from a beautiful lady anyways." I blushed at Sam's comment.
"Well that's new." Dean mutters and he grabs a lock of my hair, making me look over at him.
"What?"
"Your hair it's pink and purple."
"So two emotions at once? I'm guessing pink is love....and purple is fear. So your nervous and feeling loved at the same time!" Sam grabs his laptop and begins taking even more notes.
"Aren't you guys afraid if me?....I mean this isn't normal, don't you guys think I'm a monster or something?" I wondered, was I a monster? Is this what happened to me years ago? Is this what dad was talking about, about how he didn't trust John because...something happened to me?
"Well you certainly have powers, but you can't control it besides you don't know what's going on."
"And you haven't killed anyone." Dean adds.
"But why is this happening now? When I was at home none of this was happening....maybe I should call dad..."
"No, we can't risk him finding us, the next time you call him he'll probably be ready....and I don't want you to go..." Dean admits, while scooting closer, I could tell he wanted to kiss me.
"You two get a room! Wait no, don't do that." Sam laughs, "Alright love birds we need to get back to the subject at hand." He starts researching about the case we're working on, Dean was still staring at me. "Dean!" Sam yells, catching his attention. "Day dream later, work now, you need to take Y/n to get a few things."
"Like what?" He asked.
"Tattoo, gun that kind of stuff, if she's gonna be a hunter then she needs to have the supplies."
"W-Wait what tattoo?" I stutter and Dean points to the pentagram on his chest.
"It's so we don't get possessed, don't worry I'll be there with you."
"Ok, and a gun? I mean why not just use the ones we already have in the back of the impala?"
"Cause you need your own, one that you can carry with you at all times." Dean gets up, puts his shirt back on then grabs the keys to baby. "C'mon we'll get you prepared while Sam does his nerdy thing." I chuckle and follow after him, while grabbing his hand to hold it. He didn't even question it, he pulled me in and kissed my lips, making me yearn for more. Sadly the kiss didn't last long, if we stood there any longer Sam probably would've come out. When we got in the car, the whole drive to the tattoo parlor we were jamming out to eye of the tiger. Which I was still humming it while I was sitting in the chair getting the pentagram on my (wherever you decide to put it.)
"That's a pretty good spot." Dean commented, as he sat next to me.
"Thank you." I grinned, he smiled but it slowly faltered over time, making me grab his hand, squeezing it. "You ok?" I asked worriedly.
"...What happened at the motel can't happen again." He didn't even look at me it was like he was ashamed, did he regret what we did?
"Why not?" He didn't answer, I grabbed his chin and made him face me. Sighing he scoots closer as he lowers his voice.
"Your seventeen Y/n...."
"So? We only have (how many months until you birthday.) I'm technically eighteen already."
"One I don't wanna get arrested and two, we met about about three weeks ago. Don't you think we're moving a little to fast?"
"According to Sam you bone a girl on every case, or at least try to, and your saying it's a little to fast?"
"Good point, but....I just want you to be sure this-" He points to himself, as if himself was a problem. "-is what you want."
"....You are what I want, if you weren't I wouldn't have kissed you. Although if you wanna wait....I respect your decision." That made him smile, he leaned over and kissed my forehead.
"Thank you, now I believe your tattoo is done." I looked down at it, it was sexy as hell. After we payed for it, we went on the road again. When we crossed over the bridge I asked Dean if we could stop to see the lake and look at the sunset. Hesitantly he agreed and pulled over, I got out excitedly. The lake was a dark blue mixed in with pink and orange from the sun, it made me sad to think it was gonna be gone soon.
"It's beautiful isn't it?"
"Not as beautiful as you." Dean flirted making me blush as he pulled me closer by the waist. He started to lean in, those rough lips covering my soft ones.
"I thought we couldn't do this again."
"I meant almost having sex, kisses are something we can definitely do." He smirked and leaned back in again, and as his lips brushed against mine his phone rang. Angrily he sighed and answer it, it was probably Sam.
"What? No we're not!" The look on his face made me giggle as he looked over at me. He started moving his hand, pretending it was Sam who talks to much. "We'll be there in twenty minutes Sam, we still gotta get a gun. Sam, Sammy we're fine....alright we'll be there as soon as we can. Mhm ok bye."
"He's certainly a talker huh?"
"It's a nightmare on how much he can talk...now where were we? Oh yeah I remember." He pulled me back to his side. "Might as well steal as many kisses I can get before we head back to the kiss police." He smirked and smashed his lips against mine once more as his arms wrapped around me. This time it wasn't just a normal kiss, I fought for dominance, my tongue asking for entry. Biting his lip he pulled back, "Y/n keep doing that and I just might say screw it again.." As he said that he slipped from my grasp. "No I promised myself I can wait...c'mon let's get back to Sam." Sighing in disappointment I got back in the car, I guess he's really serious about this.
~~
"I found something." Sam says as we sit next to him. "So there's the three drowning victims this year."
"Any before that?" I wondered.
"Uh, yeah." Sam has a browser window open to The Lake Manitoc Tribune. "DROWNING TAINTS ICE FISHING FESTIVAL." It says, he clicks, and another browser window comes up, again The Tribune: 12-YEAR-OLD Girl DROWNS IN LAKE, Second drowning in 6 months at Lake Manitoc. "Damn, so six more spread out over the past thirty-five years. Those bodies were never recovered either. If there is something out there, it's picking up its pace."
"So, what, we got a lake monster on a binge?" Dean jokes as he grabs a beer, he hands the both of us one.
"Dean no." Sam tries to take it away from me.
"Aww c'mon Sammy one beer won't hurt." Dean winks at me, both of the boys stare at me as I take a sip without any reaction. "See what'd I say? She's fine."
"So this whole lake monster theory." I try getting them back on track. "It, it just bugs me."
"Why?" Sam looks at me in confusion.
"Loch Ness, Lake Champlain, there are literally hundreds of eyewitness accounts, but here, almost nothing." Sam looks at the Tribune homepage once more.
"Whatever it is out there, no one's living to talk about it." Sam states as he scrolls to the comments section of an article, I point to one.
"Wait, Barr, Christopher Barr. Where have I heard that name before?" I remember that name, I thought, it's so familiar. Sam reads from the page.
"Christopher Barr, the victim in May." Sam clicks a link, opening a new page. "LOCAL Man IN TRAGIC ACCIDENT." The picture loads and it shows a police officer with Lucas. "Christopher Barr was Andrea's husband, Lucas's father. Apparently he took Lucas out swimming. Lucas was on a floating wooden platform when Chris drowned. Two hours before the kid got rescued." Sam clicks the picture for a better look, then scratches his head. "Maybe we have an eyewitness after all."
"That kid must be so freaked out. Watching one of your parents die isn't something you just get over....." I felt bad, but so far Lucas is our only lead, hopefully he'll help us. We headed to the park planning to talk to Lucas who was our only witness. Kids are laughing and playing as Andrea sits on a bench and watches her kid. Who is at another bench coloring and playing with toy soldiers.
"Can we join you?" Sam asks and Andrea looks up.
"I'm here with my son." She says as I spot Lucas and so does Dean.
"Oh. Mind if we say hi?" Dean asks, and he lightly grabs my arm signaling for me to come with.
"Why are you bringing me with you?"
"Cause of he doesn't talk, then hopefully you can convince him." We approach Lucas, who's drawing a picture.
"How's it going?" Dean kneels down next to the bench where Lucas is coloring, when Lucas doesn't even look up, Dean picks up one of the toy soldiers.
"Oh, I used to love these things." Dean imitates guns and explosions, I chuckle as he tosses the toy soldier down.
"I think crayons is more his thing Dean. That's cool, besides I like to draw myself, including painting." I noticed that he has a pile of drawings on the bench. Dean takes a look, the top one is of a big black swirl, the second one is of a red bicycle.
"Hey, these are pretty good. You mind if we sit and draw with you for a while?" Dean asks, he picks up a crayon. "I'm not so bad myself."
"Oh really?" I ask.
"Yea I'm a pretty good artist."
"Mhm...we'll see." I grab a crayon and a piece of paper, and start drawing. "Can you draw a bird?"
"Oh so this is a competition? Your on."
Dean sits on the bench, picks up a pad of paper, and starts drawing. "You know, I'm thinking you can hear me, you just don't want to talk. I don't know exactly what happened to your dad, but I know it was something real bad. I think I know how you feel. When I was your age, I saw something." Dean says to Lucas. "You don't think anyone will listen to you, or believe you. I want you to know that I will. You don't even have to say anything. You could draw me a picture about what you saw that day, with your dad, on the lake...hm?" I say, Dean sighs. "Okay, no problem. This is for you." Dean holds out to Lucas the picture he drew, it's stick figures. "This is my family." Dean points at each person in turn. "That's my dad. That's my mom. That's my geek brother, and that's me, then a little birdy in the sky-" Dean stops talking as he sees my drawing, which was a lot more detailed than his.
"I thought you could draw Dean." I giggle.
"All right, so I'm a sucky artist...." Dean waits for any sign from Lucas, hoping he would chime in but nothing. "Well see you around, Lucas." Dean heads back to Sam and Andrea, I smile, he seems really good with kids, I thought.
"Here." I place my drawing next to Lucas. "You can keep it...just know of you need anything, I'm here." Him still not responding, I make my way to the others.
"Lucas hasn't said a word, not even to me. Not since his dad's accident." I hear Andrea say.
"Yeah, we heard. Sorry." Dean says softly.
"What are the Doctors saying?" I ask.
"That it's a kind of post-traumatic stress." She explains.
"That can't be easy. For either of you." Sam intervenes.
"We moved in with my dad. He helps out a lot. It's just...when I think about what Lucas went through, what he saw..."
"Kids are strong. You'd be surprised what they can deal with." Dean smiles and looks over at me, making me roll my eyes.
"You know, he used to have such life. He was hard to keep up with, to tell you the truth. Now he just sits there. Drawing those pictures, playing with those army men. I just wish-" Andrea goes silent as Lucas walks up, carrying a picture.
"Hey sweetie, you ok?" I kneel and smile, he hands me the picture. "Thank you..." It's a picture of the Carlton house....
~
Me and Dean are inside the motel room, I'm sitting at the table and Dean is sitting on a bed. Sam went to the library to get some books so we were alone.
"Y/n? Here." Dean suddenly speaks, he pats the seat next to him. I slowly walk over and sit next to him.
"You ok?"
"Yeah...About earlier, on the bridge...."
"Dean..."
"It's not that I don't want to I do trust me I do...."
"Don't apologize, it's ok I understand..." He glances over at me, his eyes showed a little bit of lust. We both started to lean, this feels wrong, I thought, but yet so right. We've only known each other for a few weeks, yet I wanted him more as his lips brushed against mine. Our lips connect, making me scoot closer but Dean pulls back again.
"We can't..." Yet he kisses me again muttering over and over one more. I slipped onto his lap, straddling him while pulling closer. Before we could possibly go any farther Sam opens the door and comes in as we quickly seperate.
"So, I think it's safe to say we can rule out Nessie." He says, unaware of what was going on.
"What do you mean?" I questioned, Sam sits across from me and Dean.
"I just drove past the Carlton house. There was an ambulance there. Will Carlton is dead."
"He drowned?" Dean asks.
"Yep. In the sink."
"What the hell? So you're right, this isn't a creature. We're dealing with something else."
"Yeah, but what?"
"I don't know. Water wraith, maybe? Some kind of demon? I mean, something that controls water...water that comes from the same source."
"The lake, that's the source." I chime in. "Which would explain why it's upping the body count. The lake is draining. It'll be dry in a few months so whatever this thing is, it's running out of time."
"And if it can get through the pipes, it can get to anyone, almost anywhere." Sam says as Dean stands up.
"This is gonna happen again soon. And we do know one other thing for sure. We know this has got something to do with Bill Carlton."
"Yeah, it took both his kids." Dean growls.
"I've been asking around. Lucas's dad, Chris, is Bill Carlton's godson."
"Let's go pay Mr. Carlton a visit."
~
We left to go to the Carlton house a s spotted Bill sitting on the bench on the dock. Sam speaks "Mr. Carlton?" He looks up, wondering who we are
"We'd like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind."
"We're from the, the Department-" Bill cuts Dean off.
"I don't care who you're with. I've answered enough questions today."
"Your son said he saw something in that lake. What about you? You ever see anything out there? Mr. Carlton, Sophie's drowning and Will's death-we think there might be a connection to you or your family." I explain.
"My children are gone. It's...it's worse than dying. Go away. Please." Realizing we weren't gonna get any where we decide to head back to the car.
"What do you guys think?" Sam ask.
"I think the poor guy's been through hell. I also think he's not telling us something." Dean guesses, Sam leans on the Impala.
"So now what?" I ask, Dean goes still "What is it?"
"Huh...." Dean is looking at the Carlton house. "Maybe Bill's not the only one who knows something. Y/n do you have the picture Lucas gave to you?" I nod and pull it out, the picture Lucas brought him, which is of the Carlton house.
~
"I'm sorry, but I don't think it's a good idea." Andrea says, we decided to give Lucas another visit hoping he'd talk to us.
"We just need to talk to him. Just for a few minutes." I plead.
"He won't say anything. What good's it gonna do?"
"Andrea, we think more people might get hurt. We think something's happening out there." Sam explained.
"My husband, the others, they just drowned. That's all."
"If that's what you really believe, then we'll go. But if you think there's even a possibility that something else could be going on here, please let me talk to your son." Dean looks at her, hoping she'll say yes. Silently she agrees leads us into Lucas room with Sam and Andrea behind us, he's coloring, toy soldiers standing around him. We enter and Dean crouches down by Lucas. "Hey, Lucas. You remember us?" I notice Lucas has drawn two more pictures of a red bicycle. "You know, I, uh, I wanted to thank you for that last drawing. But the thing is, we need your help again." Lucas is drawing a person in water. Dean opens the house picture and puts it down in front of Lucas.
"How did you know to draw this? Did you know something bad was gonna happen? Maybe you could nod yes or no for me." He ignores Dean and keeps coloring. I slowly walk over and sit down in front of him. "You're scared. It's okay. I understand." Dean told him. "See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom...I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom-I know she wants me to be brave. Cause she taught me to be brave. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe, your dad wants you to be brave too...its ok if you don't want to, but I really need your help." Lucas drops his crayon and looks up at Dean then at me. He hands me a picture of a white church, a yellow house, and a boy with a blue baseball cap and red bicycle in front of a wooden fence.
"Thanks, Lucas." I smile, which he returns making me fill with happiness. After we left Andrea's house the three of us are standing infront of the Impala, Sam examining the church picture.
"Andrea said the kid never drew like that till his dad died." Dean speaks.
"There are cases-going through a traumatic experience could make people more sensitive to premonitions, psychic tendencies." Sam groans.
"It's all part of the process." I chime in. "Whatever's out there, what if Lucas is tapping into it somehow?"
"You mean magically?" Dean asked, confused.
"Yeah, I mean he might be connected but he doesn't even know...but what does the church have to do with this?"
"I don't know, but the only problem is there's about a thousand yellow two-stories in this county alone." Sam looks at the picture. "See this church? I bet there's less than a thousand of those around here."
"Oh, college boy thinks he's so smart." Dean comments.
"Well what about the church we passed by when we drove into town?" I wondered  which the boys thought it wouldn't hurt. So we drove to the white church shaped like the one in Lucas's picture. There's a yellow house next to the church and a wooden fence near the house. When we got to the door, I knocked and a woman answered. We told her we were FBI, at first she was hesitant but eventually let's us in.
"Im sorry to mother you ma'am, but does a little boy live here, by chance? He might wear a blue ball cap, has a red bicycle." I ask.
"No Ms, Not for a very long time. Peter's been gone for thirty-five years now." She sighs, and I notice a picture of Peter on the side table. "The police never-I never had any idea what happened. He just disappeared." Sam points out to Dean a number of toy soldiers on a table. Just like the ones at Luca's house, I thought, so I was right. "Losing him-you know, it's...it's worse than dying." She explained, however I felt someone staring at me, it was Dean. When we make eye contact he looks away, cheeks burning.
"Did he disappear from here? I mean, from this house?" Dean asks.
"He was supposed to ride his bike straight home after school, and he never showed up." Sweeny answers, I start to walk around and pick a picture off the mirror. There are two boys in the picture, one Peter with a bicycle. I read the back of the picture, the words made my eyes go wide. "Peter Sweeney and Billy Carlton, nineteen seventy." I mutter, after the visit with Mrs. Sweeny, we decide to go talk to Bill again. "Mr. Carlton?" Sam calls out as we walk up to the house, we hear an engine roar. We run around the house to see Bill going out on the lake in his boat. "Hey, check it out." Dean says, pointimg towards the lake. We start to run to the end of the dock, yelling. "Mr. Carlton! You need to come back! Come out of the water! Turn the boat around!"
He ignores us and keeps going, the boat was to far out, all I could see was the water rising up, making Bill's boat flip over.
~~
After the accident me, Sam, Dean, and Jake walk in the door of the police station. Andrea looks over, "Sam, Y/n, Dean." She stands up, putting the bag and a container on her chair. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"So now you're on a first-name basis." Jake says. "What are you doing here?"
"I brought you dinner."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I don't really have the time."
"I heard about Bill Carlton. Is it true? Is something going on with the lake?"
"Right now we don't know what the truth is. But I think it might be better if you and Lucas went on home." Lucas looks up and whines, looking stricken. He jumps up and grabs my arm, pulling and tugging.
"Lucas, hey, what is it?" I kneel down, it was like he was trying to get a message to me but couldn't form the words. "Lucas?"
"Lucas." Andrea calls.
"Lucas, it's okay. It's okay. Hey, Lucas, it's okay. It's okay." I say and was about to comfort him when Andrea pulls him away from me and leads him outside. He doesn't look away from me however. Jake throws down his jacket and goes into his office. The three of us follow behind. "Okay, just so I'm clear, you see...something attack Bill's boat, sending Bill-who is a very good swimmer, by the way-into the drink, and you never see him again?" Jake summarizes, Dean glances at me.
"Yeah, that about sums it up." Dean mutters.
"And I'm supposed to believe this, even though I've already sonar-swept that entire lake? And what you're describing is impossible? And you're not really Wildlife Service." Dean looks surprised. "That's right, I checked. Department's never heard of you three."
"See, now, we can explain that."
"Enough. Please. The only reason you're breathing free air is one of Bill's neighbors saw him steering out that boat just before you did. So, we have a couple of options here. I can arrest you for impersonating government officials and hold you as material witnesses to Bill Carlton's disappearance. Or, we can chalk this all up to a bad day, you get into your car, you put this town in your rearview mirror, and you don't ever darken my doorstep again."
"Door number two sounds good." Sam says but I was about to protest.
"That's the one I'd pick." After that we left, packed our stuff an left. I was pissed, there is something happening here and we're just gonna leave? The three of us are in the Impala, waiting at a traffic light. A sign says I-43 North to Milwaukee is to the left. The light turns green, but the Impala doesn't move, after a few seconds Dean turns right.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Thats what I'm wondering to. Dean, this job, I think it's over." Sam tells him.
"I'm not so sure." Dean says.
"If Bill murdered Peter Sweeney and Peter's spirit got its revenge, case closed. The spirit should be at rest."
"All right, so what if we take off and this thing isn't done? You know, what if we've missed something? What if more people get hurt?"
"Deans gotta point, I don't think this is over either." I agree.
"But why would you think that?" Sam questioned.
"Because Lucas was really scared."
"That's what this is about?" Sam groans.
"I just don't want to leave this town until I know the kid's okay." Dean agrees.
"Who are you? And what have you done with my brother?" Sam chuckles and Dean glances at Sam.
"Shut up."
~~
We arrived back at the Barr's and stood out there for at least a good five minutes.
"Are you sure about this? It's pretty late." Sam asks us, Dean rings the doorbell. At that moment, Lucas opens the door, desperately afraid.
"Lucas? Lucas!" I yell but he takes off. We follow him to the hallway, water is pouring out from under the bathroom door and down the stairs. Lucas starts pounding on the bathroom door again. Dean pushes him over to Sam and I kick in the door. Lucas grabs Dean and me, so Sam runs into the bathroom and sticks his arms in the tub, trying to pull Andrea out. She is pulled back under, and Sam is struggling, so I run over and help him out. The force is strong but not strong enough, we keep pulling until Andrea is all the way out. As soon as she's out she starts coughing up water, later Andrea is sitting in the living room, dry and wearing comfortable clothing.
"Can you tell me?" Sam asks, who is sitting next to me.
"No." She answers. Dean and I were looking through notebooks on bookshelves, to see if anything that is happening would relate to the situation.
"It doesn't make any sense." She starts crying. "I'm going crazy." She puts her face in her hands.
"No, you're not. Tell me what happened. Everything." Sam pleads.
"I heard...I thought I heard...there was this voice."
"What did it say?"
"It said...it said 'come play with me'. What's happening?" Dean pulls out a scrapbook that says "Jake - 12 years old" and opens it, flipping pages. He closes it again, nudges me and we go over to Sam. He puts the book down in front of Andrea, open to a picture of Explorer Troop 37. "Do you recognize the kids in these pictures?"
"What? Um, no. I mean, except that's my dad right there. He must have been about twelve in these pictures." She moves her finger over to another picture of Jake as a child, he is standing next to Peter. Dean looks at Sam, then me.
"Chris Barr's drowning. The connection wasn't to Bill Carlton. It must have been to the Sheriff."
"Bill and the Sheriff-they were both involved with Peter." I muttered
"What about Chris? My dad-what are you talking about?" She asks, I look over to Lucas. "Lucas?" I call, he is staring out the window.
"Lucas, what is it?" Dean asks, Lucas opens the door and walks outside. We all follow him, he look determined.
"Lucas, honey?" Andrea calls as he stops and looks at the ground, then at Dean. "You and Lucas get back to the house and stay there, okay?" Dean says and Andrea pulls Lucas back to the house. Dean and Sam presumably fetch shovels from the Impala, before they start digging. After five minutes later I hold out my hand.
"Here Sam, I'll take over, why don't you go inside?" He nods and heads inside after handing me the shovel, so now it's just me and Dean. It was silent for a little while, until I spoke. "So, we gonna talk about it?" Dean glances at me.
"About what?"
"...The kiss, that Sam sort of ruined." He laughs.
"Well uh...what is there to talk about?" He stops, making me stop as I walk over to him, lightly placing my hand on his. "Dean I...Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why kiss me? I mean do you...love me? Or is this just a fling." He goes silent for a second, but speaks.
"I don't know what I feel...however when I'm with you I'm happy..." I smile, I make him happy, I thought. "Y/n...I know your seventeen, but I want to be with you. So will you be my girlfriend?" Quickly I nod which makes a flower bloom on his features. He slams his lips against mine. He drops the shovel and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer. Sam clears his throat while laughing silently and we pull away, both of our cheeks red. "Am I interrupting?" I chuckle and we go back to digging as awkwardness fills the air. My shovel clanks against something, and me and Dean dig with our hands, pulling out a red bicycle.
"Peter's bike." I whisper.
"Who are you?" Jake growls from behind us, pointing a gun.
"Put the gun down, Jake." I tell him.
"How did you know that was there?"
"What happened? You and Bill killed Peter, drowned him in the lake and then buried the bike? You can't bury the truth, Jake. Nothing stays buried."
"I don't know what the hell your talking about."
"You and Bill killed Peter Sweeney thirty-five years ago. That's what the hell I'm talking about." Just then Andrea runs up yelling. "Dad!"
"And now you got one seriously pissed-off spirit." Dean mentions.
"It's gonna take Andrea, Lucas, everyone you love. It's gonna drown them. And it's gonna drag their bodies God knows where, so you can feel the same pain Peter's mom felt. And then, after that, it's gonna take you, and it's not gonna stop until it does." I tell Jake, he scoffs.
"Yeah, and how do you know that?"
"Because that's exactly what it did to Bill Carlton." Sam explains.
"Listen to yourselves, all of you. You're insane."
"I don't really give a rat's ass what you think of us. But if we're gonna bring down this spirit, we need to find the remains, salt them, and burn them into dust. Now tell me you buried Peter somewhere. Tell me you didn't just let him go in the lake." Dean begs.
"Dad, is any of this true?" Andrea asks, voice shaking.
"No. Don't listen to them. They're liars and they're dangerous."
"Something tried to drown me. Chris died on that lake. Dad, look at me." Jake does. "Tell me you-you didn't kill anyone." He looks away in shame. "Oh my God." 
"Billy and I were at the lake. Peter was the smallest one. We always bullied him, but this time, it got rough. We were holding his head under the water. We didn't mean to. But we held him under too long and he drowned. We let the body go, and it sank." Jake tells us and Dean glances at Sam. "Oh, Andrea, we were kids. We were so scared. It was a mistake. But, Andrea, to say that I have anything to do with these drownings, with Chris, because of some ghost? It's not rational."
"All right, listen to me, all of you. We need to get you away from this lake, as far as we can, right now." Dean warns, but Andrea turns her head and spots Lucas going down to the lake, she gasps. We turn to what she's looking at, "Lucas!" I yell and I run up to the dock. Lucas is leaning over the side, reaching for a toy soldier in the water. "Lucas!" Dean yells.
"Lucas! Baby, stay where you are" Andrea yells. A hand comes up and pulls Lucas into the water. The adults have reached the edge of the lake. Jake stops as Peter's head is visible, Jake recognizes him. We keep running to the end of the dock.
"Oh my God!" Andrea yells. She takes off her jacket to jump in.
"Andrea, stay there!" I say and I jump in, I could hear Andrea trying to get to Lucas.
"We'll get him! Just stay on the dock!" Sam pleads. I could see Lucas at the bottom and I swim down there to get him. He was being dragged down, I swim faster, what I didn't understand is Lucas was let go and started floating upwards. Did the ghost just let him go? That doesn't matter, I grab Lucas and swim back to the surface. I emerge while holding Lucas, who isn't moving.
~
The three of us walk out of the motel, Dean opens his car door and Sam tosses a duffel in.
"Look, we're not gonna save everybody." Sam says, he was referring to Jake who died to save Lucas.
"I know." Dean sighs.
"Sam, Dean." Andrea walks up with Lucas. "Hey." Me and Dean say at the same time. "We're glad we caught you. We just, um, we made you lunch for the road." Lucas is carrying a tray of sandwiches.
"Lucas insisted on making the sandwiches himself."
"Can I give it to them now?" Lucas excitedly asks.
"Of course." Andrea smiles and kisses his head.
"Come on, Lucas, let's load this into the car." Dean says.
"How you holding up?" I ask Andrea.
"It's just gonna take a long time to sort through everything, you know?" I sigh. "Andrea, I'm sorry, if I knew-" She silences me and shakes her head.
"You saved my son. I can't ask for more than that. Dad loved me. He loved Lucas. No matter what he did, I just have to hold on to that." I smile as Dean walks up to me with Lucas.
"All right, if you're gonna be talking now, this is a very important phrase, so I want you to repeat it one more time."
"Zeppelin rules!" Lucas laughs.
"That's right. Up high." Dean holds his hand up for a high-five. Lucas obliges, grinning.
"You take care of your mom, okay?"
"All right." The both of them leave, Dean smiles and gives me a peck on the lips, then goes around the car.
"Sam, move your ass. We're gonna run out of daylight before we hit the road."
"Yeah yeah ok." Sam chuckled as we all got in, continuing with our adventure.
The New Hunter Masterlist
@samsgirl93 @nani-gram @eliwinchester99
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hallospaceboyy · 4 years
Text
My Soul Belongs to You; Part 2
Meeting the Parents
For @galaxy-nerd
Reader takes Lilith to meet her parents, and things turn sour when she tells them who Lilith really is.
Lilith x Female Reader
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Lilith had just teleported the both of you to a secluded area not far from your parents’ house. You had spoken to them recently, told them you had found love, and they wouldn’t stop pestering you to meet her. When you broached the subject with Lilith, both of you laying on her large, luxurious bed, you had expected her to refuse instantly. But she didn’t, had agreed, laughed at your shock. Now you both stood on your parents’ street, your nerves hit you with full force, and you glanced down at the mark on your wrist, the sigil that had been burned there when you gave your heart and soul to Lilith that night six months ago, wondering if you should have tried to cover it, but Lilith wouldn’t have let you anyway. You weren’t ashamed at what you had done, have been the happiest you’ve been in the longest time, you were just scared of their reaction. Lilith stood beside you, scrutinizing your face, didn’t need to wonder why you haven’t moved, too attuned to your emotions by now. Lilith wore a form-fitting, red floral dress, and she looked exquisite, lips painted their usual blood red. She reached for your hand and squeezed it reassuringly.
“You don’t have to tell them, you know. I’ve spent many a time playing at being mortal, I can do it for one more night,” Her cool blue eyes searched yours, and they looked almost pleading, knew that she would do this for you if you wanted, but that she didn’t want to. Wanted you to take pride in her for her, for all that she is – and you do.
“No, Lilith. I wont treat you like some dirty little secret. You deserve more than that, and I love you too much for that,” You cup her cheek, and kiss her softly. She gazes at you in earnest then, a softness in her eyes that made your heart skip a beat. She doesn’t answer you, doesn’t have to, you know that she’s grateful, that she loves you too. Even if she isn't brave enough to say it yet. Taking her hand, you lead her in the direction of the house, taking in a deep breath before knocking on the door.
The door swings open, and your parents stand there to greet you, all welcoming smiles and tight hugs, even hug Lilith after introducing themselves and you smirk, clearing your throat to cover the giggle at Lilith's stiffness at being manhandled. When everyone is seated, there a silence for a minute or so that almost becomes awkward, until your mother clears her throat and turns her attention to Lilith.
“So, you’re the lovely lady that’s made our Y/N so happy! It really is lovely to finally meet you,”
“Likewise,” Lilith smiled, and it looked genuine, ever the actress. “Y/N pleases me very much,”
Both of your parents blink in surprise at Lilith's statement, whether shocked by the formality, or the brazen sexual innuendo, you’ll never know, but you shoot Lilith what you hope is a stern look, and she simply smirks, averting her eyes to the carpet. You can see Lilith growing bored of the small talk that ensues, crossing and uncrossing her legs, eyes darting around the room, examining framed pictures on the walls. She smiles fondly at the childhood photos of you, suddenly standing to look closer at a photo of you as a toddler, grinning on a sunny day beside a small paddling pool.
“I see you’ve always been adorable,” and you all laugh, and things almost feel a little less forced. Almost.
“Is that a tattoo on your wrist?!” Your father exclaims, and all eyes fall to the sigil there. Your fingers instantly move to graze the mark, as you so often did. You'd grown very fond of it. Lilith spins round at the accusatory tone, the pictures no longer seeming so interesting – ready to jump to your aid if necessary.
“Um, I-I...” You fumble for the right words, and you meet Lilith's gaze and she raises her brows, willing you to say something, and her presence suddenly reassures you, some of your courage returning. “No, it’s not a tattoo... it’s...” You let out a sigh of frustration, rubbing your temples. Both parents watch you now, faces etched with confusion.
“There’s something I need to tell you both about Lilith. She’s not exactly... human. You’re going to think I’m crazy, but just... hear me out,”
Your parents look from each other, to Lilith, back to you, and they both start to laugh. They soon trail off when you and Lilith don’t join them, and Lilith still stands awkwardly by the wall, shuffling her feet. “W-What are you taking about, Y/N? You can’t be serious,” Your mum says incredulously.
“Mum, I am. Lilith is... a demoness. She was the first wife of Adam, exiled from Eden for refusing to be subservient, she was the first witch, and now she has devotees of her own... and I’m one of them. I gave my heart and soul to her, and got hers in return,” You swallow thickly. Your parents remain silent, and you look to Lilith. “You’re going to have to show them. Do something to prove it, please,”
Lilith nods. “Alright... if they freak out, I can always eat them,” She mutters, and you give her a stern look.
“You're not eating my parents, Lilith. Just do something magic,” Lilith rolls her eyes, and with a flick of her wrist, the mugs of tea on the table in front of you all float a few inches from the surface, then begin circling, so fast they are no more than a blur, and your parents look terrified now.
“She's not going to hurt you, Mum, Dad,”
Suddenly your father jumps up, eyes wide with fury, storming to Lilith and pointing a finger in her face. “I don’t know what the HELL you are, or what you’ve done to our daughter, but you’re not taking her from us! She's a good girl!” He shouts, face red with anger, and spittle lands on Lilith's face and it twists in disgust, and you jump up yourself, stepping in front of the brunette, bringing your arm out to push her behind you. The mugs fly from their formation, shattering against the walls, tea coating the pale paint in ugly stains. Your mother startles at the smash of the china, and rises from the sofa to stand behind your father, still shaking with fury and glaring at Lilith over your shoulder.
“I can assure you Mr Y/L/N, I’ve done nothing to your daughter except love her. Her soul may belong to me, but it was willingly given. And yes, she is a very good girl,” She smirks devilishly then, and your father lunges forward, tries to push you out of the way but you push him back. You glance at Lilith and see the rage bubbling to the surface now, her eyes are dark, and you’re suddenly not sure who you’re protecting. You stand your ground, remaining a barrier between them.
“Please, stop! Lilith is kind, and gentle. She would never hurt me, never has and never will. I know this is a lot to take in, but she’s not some monster! I love her, very much, and no amount of violence is going to change that,” You feel Lilith's slender hand grip yours, and your father takes a step back, looking defeated, deflated. “Try and hurt her again, and I’m gone. And it wont be Lilith taking me away from you, it’ll be you pushing me away,” Your voice shakes, and you clench your jaw, fighting back tears.
“Now, I think it's best if we go. Give you both some time to think. We can come back, if you want us to. Another time,” You turn to Lilith and send her a curt nod, and her rage is gone, replaced by adoration and affection at your defence of her. You feel the rush as she teleports you both away, back to her bedroom, and the scent of brimstone, and your entire being visibly relaxes.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know. Antagonise them, for me,” Her voice is soft, and she wraps her arms around you as your arms snake around her waist, seeking comfort in her warmth, cheek resting on her clavicle.
“Of course I did. It was either that or let you play fisticuffs with my dad, and I’m not having him hurt you, or vice versa,” You close your eyes, a tension headache already finding it’s way behind your lids. “I couldn’t bear it. Him talking about you like you're some creature to be feared, accusing our relationship of being the product of bloody Stockholm Syndrome,” Lilith chuckles, pressing a firm kiss to your head.
“They may never understand, Y/N. Is that really what you want, a rift like that? Just for me?”
“I want to be with you, Lilith. They’ll either come around or they won't. But I made you a promise that I intend to keep,” You raise your wrist, stroking your fingers over the delicate mark, and Lilith smiles, and kisses it, sending a jolt of warmth through you. You could swear you saw her eyes growing wet.
“I love you, Y/N,” She whispers, and there’s a vulnerability there that you’ve never seen before, and you cup her face and press your lips to hers.
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it won't fit in an ask so here you go
According to all known laws
of aviation,
   there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
   Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
   The bee, of course, flies anyway
   because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
   Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
   Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.
   Barry! Breakfast is ready!
   Coming!
   Hang on a second.
   Hello?
   - Barry?
- Adam?
   - Can you believe this is happening?
- I can’t. I’ll pick you up.
   Looking sharp.
   Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.
   Sorry. I’m excited.
   Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.
   A perfect report card, all B’s.
   Very proud.
   Ma! I got a thing going here.
   - You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That’s me!
   - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
   Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!
   - Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
   - Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation.
   Never thought I’d make it.
   Three days grade school,
three days high school.
   Those were awkward.
   Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
   You did come back different.
   - Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
   - Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
   - You going to the funeral?
- No, I’m not going.
   Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
   Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
   I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
   I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
   That’s why we don’t need vacations.
   Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.
   - Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!
   - Bee-men.
- Amen!
   Hallelujah!
   Students, faculty, distinguished bees,
   please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
   Welcome, New Hive City
graduating class of…
   …9:15.
   That concludes our ceremonies.
   And begins your career
at Honex Industries!
   Will we pick our job today?
   I heard it’s just orientation.
   Heads up! Here we go.
   Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.
   - Wonder what it’ll be like?
- A little scary.
   Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco
   and a part of the Hexagon Group.
   This is it!
   Wow.
   Wow.
   We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
   to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
   Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
   Our top-secret formula
   is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
   into this soothing sweet syrup
   with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…
   Honey!
   - That girl was hot.
- She’s my cousin!
   - She is?
- Yes, we’re all cousins.
   - Right. You’re right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
   to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
   These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.
   - What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.
   Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.
   - What does that do?
- Patches that little strand of honey
   that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.
   Oan anyone work on the Krelman?
   Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
   that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.
   But choose carefully
   because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
   The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.
   What’s the difference?
   You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off
   in 27 million years.
   So you’ll just work us to death?
   We’ll sure try.
   Wow! That blew my mind!
   “What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?
   One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.
   I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.
   But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?
   Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.
   We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.
   You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?
   Like what? Give me one example.
   I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.
   Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.
   Wait a second. Check it out.
   - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
   I’ve never seen them this close.
   They know what it’s like
outside the hive.
   Yeah, but some don’t come back.
   - Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!
   You guys did great!
   You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
   - I wonder where they were.
- I don’t know.
   Their day’s not planned.
   Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.
   You can’t just decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.
   Right.
   Look. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.
   It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.
   Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.
   Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?
   Distant. Distant.
   Look at these two.
   - Couple of Hive Harrys.
- Let’s have fun with them.
   It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.
   Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!
   He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
   - Oh, my!
- I never thought I’d knock him out.
   What were you doing during this?
   Trying to alert the authorities.
   I can autograph that.
   A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?
   Yeah. Gusty.
   We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.
   - Six miles, huh?
- Barry!
   A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.
   - Maybe I am.
- You are not!
   We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.
   What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
   I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.
   Hey, Honex!
   Dad, you surprised me.
   You decide what you’re interested in?
   - Well, there’s a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
   Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
   Son, let me tell you about stirring.
   You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.
   You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.
   You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,
   maybe the honey field
just isn’t right for me.
   You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?
   That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.
   Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into honey!
   - Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
- I’m not trying to be funny.
   You’re not funny! You’re going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!
   - You’re gonna be a stirrer?
- No one’s listening to me!
   Wait till you see the sticks I have.
   I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!
   Let’s open some honey and celebrate!
   Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.
   Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!
   I’m so proud.
   - We’re starting work today!
- Today’s the day.
   Come on! All the good jobs
will be gone.
   Yeah, right.
   Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…
   - Is it still available?
- Hang on. Two left!
   One of them’s yours! Congratulations!
Step to the side.
   - What’d you get?
- Picking crud out. Stellar!
   Wow!
   Couple of newbies?
   Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!
   Make your choice.
   - You want to go first?
- No, you go.
   Oh, my. What’s available?
   Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.
   - Any chance of getting the Krelman?
- Sure, you’re on.
   I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.
   Wax monkey’s always open.
   The Krelman opened up again.
   What happened?
   A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.
   Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.
   Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!
   Oh, this is so hard!
   Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,
   humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,
   mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?
   Barry!
   All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…
   What happened to you?
Where are you?
   - I’m going out.
- Out? Out where?
   - Out there.
- Oh, no!
   I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.
   You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?
   Another call coming in.
   If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd
   that gets their roses today.
   Hey, guys.
   - Look at that.
- Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?
   Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.
   It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.
   Really? Feeling lucky, are you?
   Sign here, here. Just initial that.
   - Thank you.
- OK.
   You got a rain advisory today,
   and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.
   So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,
   hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.
   Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.
   Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!
   - That’s awful.
- And a reminder for you rookies,
   bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!
   All right, launch positions!
   Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!
   Black and yellow!
   Hello!
   You ready for this, hot shot?
   Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.
   Wind, check.
   - Antennae, check.
- Nectar pack, check.
   - Wings, check.
- Stinger, check.
   Scared out of my shorts, check.
   OK, ladies,
   let’s move it out!
   Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!
   All of you, drain those flowers!
   Wow! I’m out!
   I can’t believe I’m out!
   So blue.
   I feel so fast and free!
   Box kite!
   Wow!
   Flowers!
   This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.
   Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.
   Roses!
   30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.
   Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.
   That is one nectar collector!
   - Ever see pollination up close?
- No, sir.
   I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,
   a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.
   That’s amazing. Why do we do that?
   That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.
   Oool.
   I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Could be daisies. We don’t need those?
Oopy that visual.
   Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.
   Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?
   Affirmative.
   That was on the line!
   This is the coolest. What is it?
   I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.
   It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.
   Yeah, fuzzy.
   Ohemical-y.
   Careful, guys. It’s a little grabby.
   My sweet lord of bees!
   Oandy-brain, get off there!
   Problem!
   - Guys!
- This could be bad.
   Affirmative.
   Very close.
   Gonna hurt.
   Mama’s little boy.
   You are way out of position, rookie!
   Coming in at you like a missile!
   Help me!
   I don’t think these are flowers.
   - Should we tell him?
- I think he knows.
   What is this?!
   Match point!
   You can start packing up, honey,
because you’re about to eat it!
   Yowser!
   Gross.
   There’s a bee in the car!
   - Do something!
- I’m driving!
   - Hi, bee.
- He’s back here!
   He’s going to sting me!
   Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!
   He blinked!
   Spray him, Granny!
   What are you doing?!
   Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.
   I gotta get home.
   Oan’t fly in rain.
   Oan’t fly in rain.
   Oan’t fly in rain.
   Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!
   Ken, could you close
the window please?
   Ken, could you close
the window please?
   Check out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.
   You see? Folds out.
   Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.
   What was that?
   Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…
   Drapes!
   That is diabolical.
   It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.
   What’s number one? Star Wars?
   Nah, I don’t go for that…
   …kind of stuff.
   No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.
   When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.
   There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.
   I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.
   I predicted global warming.
   I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.
   Wait! Stop! Bee!
   Stand back. These are winter boots.
   Wait!
   Don’t kill him!
   You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!
   Why does his life have
less value than yours?
   Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?
   I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.
   My brochure!
   There you go, little guy.
   I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.
   Put that on your resume brochure.
   My whole face could puff up.
   Make it one of your special skills.
   Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.
   Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.
   - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?
- Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.
   - You could put carob chips on there.
- Bye.
   - Supposed to be less calories.
- Bye.
   I gotta say something.
   She saved my life.
I gotta say something.
   All right, here it goes.
   Nah.
   What would I say?
   I could really get in trouble.
   It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.
   I can’t believe I’m doing this.
   I’ve got to.
   Oh, I can’t do it. Come on!
   No. Yes. No.
   Do it. I can’t.
   How should I start it?
“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.
   Here she comes! Speak, you fool!
   Hi!
   I’m sorry.
   - You’re talking.
- Yes, I know.
   You’re talking!
   I’m so sorry.
   No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.
   But I don’t recall going to bed.
   Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.
   This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!
   I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,
   but they were all trying to kill me.
   And if it wasn’t for you…
   I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.
   That was a little weird.
   - I’m talking with a bee.
- Yeah.
   I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!
   I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.
   - Wait! How did you learn to do that?
- What?
   The talking thing.
   Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.
   - That’s very funny.
- Yeah.
   Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.
   Anyway…
   Oan I…
   …get you something?
- Like what?
   I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Coffee?
   I don’t want to put you out.
   It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.
   - It’s just coffee.
- I hate to impose.
   - Don’t be ridiculous!
- Actually, I would love a cup.
   Hey, you want rum cake?
   - I shouldn’t.
- Have some.
   - No, I can’t.
- Come on!
   I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.
   - Where?
- These stripes don’t help.
   You look great!
   I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.
   Are you all right?
   No.
   He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.
   He finally gets there.
   He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.
   And he says, “Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.
   Why would I marry a watermelon?”
   Is that a bee joke?
   That’s the kind of stuff we do.
   Yeah, different.
   So, what are you gonna do, Barry?
   About work? I don’t know.
   I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.
   I know how you feel.
   - You do?
- Sure.
   My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.
   - Really?
- My only interest is flowers.
   Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.
   Anyway, if you look…
   There’s my hive right there. See it?
   You’re in Sheep Meadow!
   Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!
   No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.
   - Why do girls put rings on their toes?
- Why not?
   - It’s like putting a hat on your knee.
- Maybe I’ll try that.
   - You all right, ma'am?
- Oh, yeah. Fine.
   Just having two cups of coffee!
   Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.
   Yeah, it’s no trouble.
   Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.
   Are you…?
   Oan I take a piece of this with me?
   Sure! Here, have a crumb.
   - Thanks!
- Yeah.
   All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.
   Or not.
   OK, Barry.
   And thank you
so much again… for before.
   Oh, that? That was nothing.
   Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…
   This can’t possibly work.
   He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.
   OK, Dave, pull the chute.
   - Sounds amazing.
- It was amazing!
   It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.
   Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!
   Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?
   Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.
   They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.
   - Do they try and kill you, like on TV?
- Some of them. But some of them don’t.
   - How’d you get back?
- Poodle.
   You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.
   You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out your job and be normal.
   - Well…
- Well?
   Well, I met someone.
   You did? Was she Bee-ish?
   - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!
- No, no, no, not a wasp.
   - Spider?
- I’m not attracted to spiders.
   I know it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.
   I can’t get by that face.
   So who is she?
   She’s… human.
   No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.
   - Her name’s Vanessa.
- Oh, boy.
   She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!
   Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!
   We’re not dating.
   You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes
   with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!
   She saved my life!
And she understands me.
   This is over!
   Eat this.
   This is not over! What was that?
   - They call it a crumb.
- It was so stingin’ stripey!
   And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!
   - You know what a Cinnabon is?
- No.
   It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up…
   Sit down!
   …really hot!
- Listen to me!
   We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!
   Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?
   There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!
   You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!
   - Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
   Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
   There he is. He’s in the pool.
   You know what your problem is, Barry?
   I gotta start thinking bee?
   How much longer will this go on?
   It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?
   I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.
   What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!
   Would it kill you
to make a little honey?
   Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.
   Martin, would you talk to him?
   Barry, I’m talking to you!
   You coming?
   Got everything?
   All set!
   Go ahead. I’ll catch up.
   Don’t be too long.
   Watch this!
   Vanessa!
   - We’re still here.
- I told you not to yell at him.
   He doesn’t respond to yelling!
   - Then why yell at me?
- Because you don’t listen!
   I’m not listening to this.
   Sorry, I’ve gotta go.
   - Where are you going?
- I’m meeting a friend.
   A girl? Is this why you can’t decide?
   Bye.
   I just hope she’s Bee-ish.
   They have a huge parade
of flowers every year in Pasadena?
   To be in the Tournament of Roses,
that’s every florist’s dream!
   Up on a float, surrounded
by flowers, crowds cheering.
   A tournament. Do the roses
compete in athletic events?
   No. All right, I’ve got one.
How come you don’t fly everywhere?
   It’s exhausting. Why don’t you
run everywhere? It’s faster.
   Yeah, OK, I see, I see.
All right, your turn.
   TiVo. You can just freeze live TV?
That’s insane!
   You don’t have that?
   We have Hivo, but it’s a disease.
It’s a horrible, horrible disease.
   Oh, my.
   Dumb bees!
   You must want to sting all those jerks.
   We try not to sting.
It’s usually fatal for us.
   So you have to watch your temper.
   Very carefully.
You kick a wall, take a walk,
   write an angry letter and throw it out.
Work through it like any emotion:
   Anger, jealousy, lust.
   Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?
   Yeah.
   - What is wrong with you?!
- It’s a bug.
   He’s not bothering anybody.
Get out of here, you creep!
   What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular?
   Yeah, it was. How did you know?
   It felt like about 10 pages.
Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.
   You’ve really got that
down to a science.
   - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue.
- I’ll bet.
   What in the name
of Mighty Hercules is this?
   How did this get here?
Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,
   Ray Liotta Private Select?
   - Is he that actor?
- I never heard of him.
   - Why is this here?
- For people. We eat it.
   You don’t have
enough food of your own?
   - Well, yes.
- How do you get it?
   - Bees make it.
- I know who makes it!
   And it’s hard to make it!
   There’s heating, cooling, stirring.
You need a whole Krelman thing!
   - It’s organic.
- It’s our-ganic!
   It’s just honey, Barry.
   Just what?!
   Bees don’t know about this!
This is stealing! A lot of stealing!
   You’ve taken our homes, schools,
hospitals! This is all we have!
   And it’s on sale?!
I’m getting to the bottom of this.
   I’m getting to the bottom
of all of this!
   Hey, Hector.
   - You almost done?
- Almost.
   He is here. I sense it.
   Well, I guess I’ll go home now
   and just leave this nice honey out,
with no one around.
   You’re busted, box boy!
   I knew I heard something.
So you can talk!
   I can talk.
And now you’ll start talking!
   Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who’s your supplier?
   I don’t understand.
I thought we were friends.
   The last thing we want
to do is upset bees!
   You’re too late! It’s ours now!
   You, sir, have crossed
the wrong sword!
   You, sir, will be lunch
for my iguana, Ignacio!
   Where is the honey coming from?
   Tell me where!
   Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!
   Crazy person!
   What horrible thing has happened here?
   These faces, they never knew
what hit them. And now
   they’re on the road to nowhere!
   Just keep still.
   What? You’re not dead?
   Do I look dead? They will wipe anything
that moves. Where you headed?
   To Honey Farms.
I am onto something huge here.
   I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood,
crazy stuff. Blows your head off!
   I’m going to Tacoma.
   - And you?
- He really is dead.
   All right.
   Uh-oh!
   - What is that?!
- Oh, no!
   - A wiper! Triple blade!
- Triple blade?
   Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee!
   Why does everything have
to be so doggone clean?!
   How much do you people need to see?!
   Open your eyes!
Stick your head out the window!
   From NPR News in Washington,
I’m Carl Kasell.
   But don’t kill no more bugs!
   - Bee!
- Moose blood guy!!
   - You hear something?
- Like what?
   Like tiny screaming.
   Turn off the radio.
   Whassup, bee boy?
   Hey, Blood.
   Just a row of honey jars,
as far as the eye could see.
   Wow!
   I assume wherever this truck goes
is where they’re getting it.
   I mean, that honey’s ours.
   - Bees hang tight.
- We’re all jammed in.
   It’s a close community.
   Not us, man. We on our own.
Every mosquito on his own.
   - What if you get in trouble?
- You a mosquito, you in trouble.
   Nobody likes us. They just smack.
See a mosquito, smack, smack!
   At least you’re out in the world.
You must meet girls.
   Mosquito girls try to trade up,
get with a moth, dragonfly.
   Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito.
   You got to be kidding me!
   Mooseblood’s about to leave
the building! So long, bee!
   - Hey, guys!
- Mooseblood!
   I knew I’d catch y'all down here.
Did you bring your crazy straw?
   We throw it in jars, slap a label on it,
and it’s pretty much pure profit.
   What is this place?
   A bee’s got a brain
the size of a pinhead.
   They are pinheads!
   Pinhead.
   - Check out the new smoker.
- Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want.
   The Thomas 3000!
   Smoker?
   Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic.
Twice the nicotine, all the tar.
   A couple breaths of this
knocks them right out.
   They make the honey,
and we make the money.
   “They make the honey,
and we make the money”?
   Oh, my!
   What’s going on? Are you OK?
   Yeah. It doesn’t last too long.
   Do you know you’re
in a fake hive with fake walls?
   Our queen was moved here.
We had no choice.
   This is your queen?
That’s a man in women’s clothes!
   That’s a drag queen!
   What is this?
   Oh, no!
   There’s hundreds of them!
   Bee honey.
   Our honey is being brazenly stolen
on a massive scale!
   This is worse than anything bears
have done! I intend to do something.
   Oh, Barry, stop.
   Who told you humans are taking
our honey? That’s a rumor.
   Do these look like rumors?
   That’s a conspiracy theory.
These are obviously doctored photos.
   How did you get mixed up in this?
   He’s been talking to humans.
   - What?
- Talking to humans?!
   He has a human girlfriend.
And they make out!
   Make out? Barry!
   We do not.
   - You wish you could.
- Whose side are you on?
   The bees!
   I dated a cricket once in San Antonio.
Those crazy legs kept me up all night.
   Barry, this is what you want
to do with your life?
   I want to do it for all our lives.
Nobody works harder than bees!
   Dad, I remember you
coming home so overworked
   your hands were still stirring.
You couldn’t stop.
   I remember that.
   What right do they have to our honey?
   We live on two cups a year. They put it
in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
   Even if it’s true, what can one bee do?
   Sting them where it really hurts.
   In the face! The eye!
   - That would hurt.
- No.
   Up the nose? That’s a killer.
   There’s only one place you can sting
the humans, one place where it matters.
   Hive at Five, the hive’s only
full-hour action news source.
   No more bee beards!
   With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.
   Weather with Storm Stinger.
   Sports with Buzz Larvi.
   And Jeanette Ohung.
   - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble.
- And I’m Jeanette Ohung.
   A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,
   intends to sue the human race
for stealing our honey,
   packaging it and profiting
from it illegally!
   Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,
   we’ll have three former queens here in
our studio, discussing their new book,
   Classy Ladies,
out this week on Hexagon.
   Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson.
   Did you ever think, “I’m a kid
from the hive. I can’t do this”?
   Bees have never been afraid
to change the world.
   What about Bee Columbus?
Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?
   Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans.
   We were thinking
of stickball or candy stores.
   How old are you?
   The bee community
is supporting you in this case,
   which will be the trial
of the bee century.
   You know, they have a Larry King
in the human world too.
   It’s a common name. Next week…
   He looks like you and has a show
and suspenders and colored dots…
   Next week…
   Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the
guest even though you just heard 'em.
   Bear Week next week!
They’re scary, hairy and here live.
   Always leans forward, pointy shoulders,
squinty eyes, very Jewish.
   In tennis, you attack
at the point of weakness!
   It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81.
   Honey, her backhand’s a joke!
I’m not gonna take advantage of that?
   Quiet, please.
Actual work going on here.
   - Is that that same bee?
- Yes, it is!
   I’m helping him sue the human race.
   - Hello.
- Hello, bee.
   This is Ken.
   Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size
ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.
   Why does he talk again?
   Listen, you better go
'cause we’re really busy working.
   But it’s our yogurt night!
   Bye-bye.
   Why is yogurt night so difficult?!
   You poor thing.
You two have been at this for hours!
   Yes, and Adam here
has been a huge help.
   - Frosting…
- How many sugars?
   Just one. I try not
to use the competition.
   So why are you helping me?
   Bees have good qualities.
   And it takes my mind off the shop.
   Instead of flowers, people
are giving balloon bouquets now.
   Those are great, if you’re three.
   And artificial flowers.
   - Oh, those just get me psychotic!
- Yeah, me too.
   Bent stingers, pointless pollination.
   Bees must hate those fake things!
   Nothing worse
than a daffodil that’s had work done.
   Maybe this could make up
for it a little bit.
   - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal.
- I guess.
   You sure you want to go through with it?
   Am I sure? When I’m done with
the humans, they won’t be able
   to say, “Honey, I’m home,”
without paying a royalty!
   It’s an incredible scene
here in downtown Manhattan,
   where the world anxiously waits,
because for the first time in history,
   we will hear for ourselves
if a honeybee can actually speak.
   What have we gotten into here, Barry?
   It’s pretty big, isn’t it?
   I can’t believe how many humans
don’t work during the day.
   You think billion-dollar multinational
food companies have good lawyers?
   Everybody needs to stay
behind the barricade.
   - What’s the matter?
- I don’t know, I just got a chill.
   Well, if it isn’t the bee team.
   You boys work on this?
   All rise! The Honorable
Judge Bumbleton presiding.
   All right. Oase number 4475,
   Superior Court of New York,
Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry
   is now in session.
   Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing
the five food companies collectively?
   A privilege.
   Mr. Benson… you’re representing
all the bees of the world?
   I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor,
we’re ready to proceed.
   Mr. Montgomery,
your opening statement, please.
   Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
   my grandmother was a simple woman.
   Born on a farm, she believed
it was man’s divine right
   to benefit from the bounty
of nature God put before us.
   If we lived in the topsy-turvy world
Mr. Benson imagines,
   just think of what it would mean.
   I would have to negotiate
with the silkworm
   for the elastic in my britches!
   Talking bee!
   How do we know this isn’t some sort of
   holographic motion-picture-capture
Hollywood wizardry?
   They could be using laser beams!
   Robotics! Ventriloquism!
Oloning! For all we know,
   he could be on steroids!
   Mr. Benson?
   Ladies and gentlemen,
there’s no trickery here.
   I’m just an ordinary bee.
Honey’s pretty important to me.
   It’s important to all bees.
We invented it!
   We make it. And we protect it
with our lives.
   Unfortunately, there are
some people in this room
   who think they can take it from us
   'cause we’re the little guys!
I’m hoping that, after this is all over,
   you’ll see how, by taking our honey,
you not only take everything we have
   but everything we are!
   I wish he’d dress like that
all the time. So nice!
   Call your first witness.
   So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have.
   I suppose so.
   I see you also own
Honeyburton and Honron!
   Yes, they provide beekeepers
for our farms.
   Beekeeper. I find that
to be a very disturbing term.
   I don’t imagine you employ
any bee-free-ers, do you?
   - No.
- I couldn’t hear you.
   - No.
- No.
   Because you don’t free bees.
You keep bees. Not only that,
   it seems you thought a bear would be
an appropriate image for a jar of honey.
   They’re very lovable creatures.
   Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.
   You mean like this?
   Bears kill bees!
   How’d you like his head crashing
through your living room?!
   Biting into your couch!
Spitting out your throw pillows!
   OK, that’s enough. Take him away.
   So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.
Your name intrigues me.
   - Where have I heard it before?
- I was with a band called The Police.
   But you’ve never been
a police officer, have you?
   No, I haven’t.
   No, you haven’t. And so here
we have yet another example
   of bee culture casually
stolen by a human
   for nothing more than
a prance-about stage name.
   Oh, please.
   Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?
   Because I’m feeling
a little stung, Sting.
   Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!
   That’s not his real name?! You idiots!
   Mr. Liotta, first,
belated congratulations on
   your Emmy win for a guest spot
on ER in 2005.
   Thank you. Thank you.
   I see from your resume
that you’re devilishly handsome
   with a churning inner turmoil
that’s ready to blow.
   I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?
   Not yet it isn’t. But is this
what it’s come to for you?
   Exploiting tiny, helpless bees
so you don’t
   have to rehearse
your part and learn your lines, sir?
   Watch it, Benson!
I could blow right now!
   This isn’t a goodfella.
This is a badfella!
   Why doesn’t someone just step on
this creep, and we can all go home?!
   - Order in this court!
- You’re all thinking it!
   Order! Order, I say!
   - Say it!
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!
   I think it was awfully nice
of that bear to pitch in like that.
   I think the jury’s on our side.
   Are we doing everything right, legally?
   I’m a florist.
   Right. Well, here’s to a great team.
   To a great team!
   Well, hello.
   - Ken!
- Hello.
   I didn’t think you were coming.
   No, I was just late.
I tried to call, but… the battery.
   I didn’t want all this to go to waste,
so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.
   Oh, that was lucky.
   There’s a little left.
I could heat it up.
   Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.
   So I hear you’re quite a tennis player.
   I’m not much for the game myself.
The ball’s a little grabby.
   That’s where I usually sit.
Right… there.
   Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,
   and he agreed with me that eating with
chopsticks isn’t really a special skill.
   You think I don’t see what you’re doing?
   I know how hard it is to find
the rightjob. We have that in common.
   Do we?
   Bees have 100 percent employment,
but we do jobs like taking the crud out.
   That’s just what
I was thinking about doing.
   Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor
for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.
   I’m going to drain the old stinger.
   Yeah, you do that.
   Look at that.
   You know, I’ve just about had it
   with your little mind games.
   - What’s that?
- Italian Vogue.
   Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages.
   A lot of ads.
   Remember what Van said, why is
your life more valuable than mine?
   Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that!
   I think something stinks in here!
   I love the smell of flowers.
   How do you like the smell of flames?!
   Not as much.
   Water bug! Not taking sides!
   Ken, I’m wearing a Chapstick hat!
This is pathetic!
   I’ve got issues!
   Well, well, well, a royal flush!
   - You’re bluffing.
- Am I?
   Surf’s up, dude!
   Poo water!
   That bowl is gnarly.
   Except for those dirty yellow rings!
   Kenneth! What are you doing?!
   You know, I don’t even like honey!
I don’t eat it!
   We need to talk!
   He’s just a little bee!
   And he happens to be
the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time!
   Long time? What are you talking about?!
Are there other bugs in your life?
   No, but there are other things bugging
me in life. And you’re one of them!
   Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night…
   My nerves are fried from riding
on this emotional roller coaster!
   Goodbye, Ken.
   And for your information,
   I prefer sugar-free, artificial
sweeteners made by man!
   I’m sorry about all that.
   I know it’s got
an aftertaste! I like it!
   I always felt there was some kind
of barrier between Ken and me.
   I couldn’t overcome it.
Oh, well.
   Are you OK for the trial?
   I believe Mr. Montgomery
is about out of ideas.
   We would like to call
Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.
   Good idea! You can really see why he’s
considered one of the best lawyers…
   Yeah.
   Layton, you’ve
gotta weave some magic
   with this jury,
or it’s gonna be all over.
   Don’t worry. The only thing I have
to do to turn this jury around
   is to remind them
of what they don’t like about bees.
   - You got the tweezers?
- Are you allergic?
   Only to losing, son. Only to losing.
   Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you
what I think we’d all like to know.
   What exactly is your relationship
   to that woman?
   We’re friends.
   - Good friends?
- Yes.
   How good? Do you live together?
   Wait a minute…
   Are you her little…
   …bedbug?
   I’ve seen a bee documentary or two.
From what I understand,
   doesn’t your queen give birth
to all the bee children?
   - Yeah, but…
- So those aren’t your real parents!
   - Oh, Barry…
- Yes, they are!
   Hold me back!
   You’re an illegitimate bee,
aren’t you, Benson?
   He’s denouncing bees!
   Don’t y'all date your cousins?
   - Objection!
- I’m going to pincushion this guy!
   Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants!
   Oh, I’m hit!!
   Oh, lordy, I am hit!
   Order! Order!
   The venom! The venom
is coursing through my veins!
   I have been felled
by a winged beast of destruction!
   You see? You can’t treat them
like equals! They’re striped savages!
   Stinging’s the only thing
they know! It’s their way!
   - Adam, stay with me.
- I can’t feel my legs.
   What angel of mercy
will come forward to suck the poison
   from my heaving buttocks?
   I will have order in this court. Order!
   Order, please!
   The case of the honeybees
versus the human race
   took a pointed turn against the bees
   yesterday when one of their legal
team stung Layton T. Montgomery.
   - Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
   - Is there much pain?
- Yeah.
   I…
   I blew the whole case, didn’t I?
   It doesn’t matter. What matters is
you’re alive. You could have died.
   I’d be better off dead. Look at me.
   They got it from the cafeteria
downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
   Look, there’s
a little celery still on it.
   What was it like to sting someone?
   I can’t explain it. It was all…
   All adrenaline and then…
and then ecstasy!
   All right.
   You think it was all a trap?
   Of course. I’m sorry.
I flew us right into this.
   What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re
just a couple of bugs in this world.
   What will the humans do to us
if they win?
   I don’t know.
   I hear they put the roaches in motels.
That doesn’t sound so bad.
   Adam, they check in,
but they don’t check out!
   Oh, my.
   Could you get a nurse
to close that window?
   - Why?
- The smoke.
   Bees don’t smoke.
   Right. Bees don’t smoke.
   Bees don’t smoke!
But some bees are smoking.
   That’s it! That’s our case!
   It is? It’s not over?
   Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere.
   Get back to the court and stall.
Stall any way you can.
   And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub.
   Mr. Flayman.
   Yes? Yes, Your Honor!
   Where is the rest of your team?
   Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting.
   Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,
   and as a result,
we don’t make very good time.
   I actually heard a funny story about…
   Your Honor,
haven’t these ridiculous bugs
   taken up enough
of this court’s valuable time?
   How much longer will we allow
these absurd shenanigans to go on?
   They have presented no compelling
evidence to support their charges
   against my clients,
who run legitimate businesses.
   I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case!
   Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going
   to have to consider
Mr. Montgomery’s motion.
   But you can’t! We have a terrific case.
   Where is your proof?
Where is the evidence?
   Show me the smoking gun!
   Hold it, Your Honor!
You want a smoking gun?
   Here is your smoking gun.
   What is that?
   It’s a bee smoker!
   What, this?
This harmless little contraption?
   This couldn’t hurt a fly,
let alone a bee.
   Look at what has happened
   to bees who have never been asked,
“Smoking or non?”
   Is this what nature intended for us?
   To be forcibly addicted
to smoke machines
   and man-made wooden slat work camps?
   Living out our lives as honey slaves
to the white man?
   - What are we gonna do?
- He’s playing the species card.
   Ladies and gentlemen, please,
free these bees!
   Free the bees! Free the bees!
   Free the bees!
   Free the bees! Free the bees!
   The court finds in favor of the bees!
   Vanessa, we won!
   I knew you could do it! High-five!
   Sorry.
   I’m OK! You know what this means?
   All the honey
will finally belong to the bees.
   Now we won’t have
to work so hard all the time.
   This is an unholy perversion
of the balance of nature, Benson.
   You’ll regret this.
   Barry, how much honey is out there?
   All right. One at a time.
   Barry, who are you wearing?
   My sweater is Ralph Lauren,
and I have no pants.
   - What if Montgomery’s right?
- What do you mean?
   We’ve been living the bee way
a long time, 27 million years.
   Congratulations on your victory.
What will you demand as a settlement?
   First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown
of all bee work camps.
   Then we want back the honey
that was ours to begin with,
   every last drop.
   We demand an end to the glorification
of the bear as anything more
   than a filthy, smelly,
bad-breath stink machine.
   We’re all aware
of what they do in the woods.
   Wait for my signal.
   Take him out.
   He’ll have nauseous
for a few hours, then he’ll be fine.
   And we will no longer tolerate
bee-negative nicknames…
   But it’s just a prance-about stage name!
   …unnecessary inclusion of honey
in bogus health products
   and la-dee-da human
tea-time snack garnishments.
   Can’t breathe.
   Bring it in, boys!
   Hold it right there! Good.
   Tap it.
   Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups,
and there’s gallons more coming!
   - I think we need to shut down!
- Shut down? We’ve never shut down.
   Shut down honey production!
   Stop making honey!
   Turn your key, sir!
   What do we do now?
   Cannonball!
   We’re shutting honey production!
   Mission abort.
   Aborting pollination and nectar detail.
Returning to base.
   Adam, you wouldn’t believe
how much honey was out there.
   Oh, yeah?
   What’s going on? Where is everybody?
   - Are they out celebrating?
- They’re home.
   They don’t know what to do.
Laying out, sleeping in.
   I heard your Uncle Earl was on his way
to San Antonio with a cricket.
   At least we got our honey back.
   Sometimes I think, so what if humans
liked our honey? Who wouldn’t?
   It’s the greatest thing in the world!
I was excited to be part of making it.
   This was my new desk. This was my
new job. I wanted to do it really well.
   And now…
   Now I can’t.
   I don’t understand
why they’re not happy.
   I thought their lives would be better!
   They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing.
Honey really changes people.
   You don’t have any idea
what’s going on, do you?
   - What did you want to show me?
- This.
   What happened here?
   That is not the half of it.
   Oh, no. Oh, my.
   They’re all wilting.
   Doesn’t look very good, does it?
   No.
   And whose fault do you think that is?
   You know, I’m gonna guess bees.
   Bees?
   Specifically, me.
   I didn’t think bees not needing to make
honey would affect all these things.
   It’s not just flowers.
Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.
   That’s our whole SAT test right there.
   Take away produce, that affects
the entire animal kingdom.
   And then, of course…
   The human species?
   So if there’s no more pollination,
   it could all just go south here,
couldn’t it?
   I know this is also partly my fault.
   How about a suicide pact?
   How do we do it?
   - I’ll sting you, you step on me.
- Thatjust kills you twice.
   Right, right.
   Listen, Barry…
sorry, but I gotta get going.
   I had to open my mouth and talk.
   Vanessa?
   Vanessa? Why are you leaving?
Where are you going?
   To the final Tournament of Roses parade
in Pasadena.
   They’ve moved it to this weekend
because all the flowers are dying.
   It’s the last chance
I’ll ever have to see it.
   Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry.
I never meant it to turn out like this.
   I know. Me neither.
   Tournament of Roses.
Roses can’t do sports.
   Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?
   Roses!
   Vanessa!
   Roses?!
   Barry?
   - Roses are flowers!
- Yes, they are.
   Flowers, bees, pollen!
   I know.
That’s why this is the last parade.
   Maybe not.
Would you ask him to slow down?
   Would you slow down?
   Barry!
   OK, I made a huge mistake.
This is a total disaster, all my fault.
   Yes, it kind of is.
   I’ve ruined the planet.
I wanted to help you
   with the flower shop.
I’ve made it worse.
   Actually, it’s completely closed down.
   I thought maybe you were remodeling.
   But I have another idea, and it’s
greater than my previous ideas combined.
   I don’t want to hear it!
   All right, they have the roses,
the roses have the pollen.
   I know every bee, plant
and flower bud in this park.
   All we gotta do is get what they’ve got
back here with what we’ve got.
   - Bees.
- Park.
   - Pollen!
- Flowers.
   - Repollination!
- Across the nation!
   Tournament of Roses,
Pasadena, Oalifornia.
   They’ve got nothing
but flowers, floats and cotton candy.
   Security will be tight.
   I have an idea.
   Vanessa Bloome, FTD.
   Official floral business. It’s real.
   Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.
   Thank you. It was a gift.
   Once inside,
we just pick the right float.
   How about The Princess and the Pea?
   I could be the princess,
and you could be the pea!
   Yes, I got it.
   - Where should I sit?
- What are you?
   - I believe I’m the pea.
- The pea?
   It goes under the mattresses.
   - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart.
- I’m getting the marshal.
   You do that!
This whole parade is a fiasco!
   Let’s see what this baby’ll do.
   Hey, what are you doing?!
   Then all we do
is blend in with traffic…
   …without arousing suspicion.
   Once at the airport,
there’s no stopping us.
   Stop! Security.
   - You and your insect pack your float?
- Yes.
   Has it been
in your possession the entire time?
   Would you remove your shoes?
   - Remove your stinger.
- It’s part of me.
   I know. Just having some fun.
Enjoy your flight.
   Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have
just enough pollen to do the job.
   Oan you believe how lucky we are? We
have just enough pollen to do the job!
   I think this is gonna work.
   It’s got to work.
   Attention, passengers,
this is Captain Scott.
   We have a bit of bad weather
in New York.
   It looks like we’ll experience
a couple hours delay.
   Barry, these are cut flowers
with no water. They’ll never make it.
   I gotta get up there
and talk to them.
   Be careful.
   Oan I get help
with the Sky Mall magazine?
   I’d like to order the talking
inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.
   Oaptain, I’m in a real situation.
   - What’d you say, Hal?
- Nothing.
   Bee!
   Don’t freak out! My entire species…
   What are you doing?
   - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney!
- Who’s an attorney?
   Don’t move.
   Oh, Barry.
   Good afternoon, passengers.
This is your captain.
   Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B
please report to the cockpit?
   And please hurry!
   What happened here?
   There was a DustBuster,
a toupee, a life raft exploded.
   One’s bald, one’s in a boat,
they’re both unconscious!
   - Is that another bee joke?
- No!
   No one’s flying the plane!
   This is JFK control tower, Flight 356.
What’s your status?
   This is Vanessa Bloome.
I’m a florist from New York.
   Where’s the pilot?
   He’s unconscious,
and so is the copilot.
   Not good. Does anyone onboard
have flight experience?
   As a matter of fact, there is.
   - Who’s that?
- Barry Benson.
   From the honey trial?! Oh, great.
   Vanessa, this is nothing more
than a big metal bee.
   It’s got giant wings, huge engines.
   I can’t fly a plane.
   - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot?
- Yes.
   How hard could it be?
   Wait, Barry!
We’re headed into some lightning.
   This is Bob Bumble. We have some
late-breaking news from JFK Airport,
   where a suspenseful scene
is developing.
   Barry Benson,
fresh from his legal victory…
   That’s Barry!
   …is attempting to land a plane,
loaded with people, flowers
   and an incapacitated flight crew.
   Flowers?!
   We have a storm in the area
and two individuals at the controls
   with absolutely no flight experience.
   Just a minute.
There’s a bee on that plane.
   I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson
and his no-account compadres.
   They’ve done enough damage.
   But isn’t he your only hope?
   Technically, a bee
shouldn’t be able to fly at all.
   Their wings are too small…
   Haven’t we heard this a million times?
   “The surface area of the wings
and body mass make no sense.”
   - Get this on the air!
- Got it.
   - Stand by.
- We’re going live.
   The way we work may be a mystery to you.
   Making honey takes a lot of bees
doing a lot of small jobs.
   But let me tell you about a small job.
   If you do it well,
it makes a big difference.
   More than we realized.
To us, to everyone.
   That’s why I want to get bees
back to working together.
   That’s the bee way!
We’re not made of Jell-O.
   We get behind a fellow.
   - Black and yellow!
- Hello!
   Left, right, down, hover.
   - Hover?
- Forget hover.
   This isn’t so hard.
Beep-beep! Beep-beep!
   Barry, what happened?!
   Wait, I think we were
on autopilot the whole time.
   - That may have been helping me.
- And now we’re not!
   So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.
   All of you, let’s get
behind this fellow! Move it out!
   Move out!
   Our only chance is if I do what I’d do,
you copy me with the wings of the plane!
   Don’t have to yell.
   I’m not yelling!
We’re in a lot of trouble.
   It’s very hard to concentrate
with that panicky tone in your voice!
   It’s not a tone. I’m panicking!
   I can’t do this!
   Vanessa, pull yourself together.
You have to snap out of it!
   You snap out of it.
   You snap out of it.
   - You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
   - You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
   - You snap out of it!
- You snap out of it!
   - Hold it!
- Why? Come on, it’s my turn.
   How is the plane flying?
   I don’t know.
   Hello?
   Benson, got any flowers
for a happy occasion in there?
   The Pollen Jocks!
   They do get behind a fellow.
   - Black and yellow.
- Hello.
   All right, let’s drop this tin can
on the blacktop.
   Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you?
   No, nothing. It’s all cloudy.
   Come on. You got to think bee, Barry.
   - Thinking bee.
- Thinking bee.
   Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
   Wait a minute.
I think I’m feeling something.
   - What?
- I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me.
   Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.
   Bring the nose down.
   Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
   - What in the world is on the tarmac?
- Get some lights on that!
   Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
   - Vanessa, aim for the flower.
- OK.
   Out the engines. We’re going in
on bee power. Ready, boys?
   Affirmative!
   Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it.
   Land on that flower!
   Ready? Full reverse!
   Spin it around!
   - Not that flower! The other one!
- Which one?
   - That flower.
- I’m aiming at the flower!
   That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt.
I mean the giant pulsating flower
   made of millions of bees!
   Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.
   Rotate around it.
   - This is insane, Barry!
- This’s the only way I know how to fly.
   Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane
flying in an insect-like pattern?
   Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid.
Smell it. Full reverse!
   Just drop it. Be a part of it.
   Aim for the center!
   Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!
   Come on, already.
   Barry, we did it!
You taught me how to fly!
   - Yes. No high-five!
- Right.
   Barry, it worked!
Did you see the giant flower?
   What giant flower? Where? Of course
I saw the flower! That was genius!
   - Thank you.
- But we’re not done yet.
   Listen, everyone!
   This runway is covered
with the last pollen
   from the last flowers
available anywhere on Earth.
   That means this is our last chance.
   We’re the only ones who make honey,
pollinate flowers and dress like this.
   If we’re gonna survive as a species,
this is our moment! What do you say?
   Are we going to be bees, orjust
Museum of Natural History keychains?
   We’re bees!
   Keychain!
   Then follow me! Except Keychain.
   Hold on, Barry. Here.
   You’ve earned this.
   Yeah!
   I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect
fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.
   Oh, yeah.
   That’s our Barry.
   Mom! The bees are back!
   If anybody needs
to make a call, now’s the time.
   I got a feeling we’ll be
working late tonight!
   Here’s your change. Have a great
afternoon! Oan I help who’s next?
   Would you like some honey with that?
It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these.
   Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me.
And I don’t see a nickel!
   Sometimes I just feel
like a piece of meat!
   I had no idea.
   Barry, I’m sorry.
Have you got a moment?
   Would you excuse me?
My mosquito associate will help you.
   Sorry I’m late.
   He’s a lawyer too?
   I was already a blood-sucking parasite.
All I needed was a briefcase.
   Have a great afternoon!
   Barry, I just got this huge tulip order,
and I can’t get them anywhere.
   No problem, Vannie.
Just leave it to me.
   You’re a lifesaver, Barry.
Oan I help who’s next?
   All right, scramble, jocks!
It’s time to fly.
   Thank you, Barry!
   That bee is living my life!
   Let it go, Kenny.
   - When will this nightmare end?!
- Let it all go.
   - Beautiful day to fly.
- Sure is.
   Between you and me,
I was dying to get out of that office.
   You have got
to start thinking bee, my friend.
   - Thinking bee!
- Me?
   Hold it. Let’s just stop
for a second. Hold it.
   I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.
Oan we stop here?
   I’m not making a major life decision
during a production number!
   All right. Take ten, everybody.
Wrap it up, guys.
   I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
-----------------
Is. is. that the Bee Movie script-
6 notes · View notes
Text
Liam & Edie
Liam: [okay so wrong number text which isn't actually we know, which is just the location of some illegal rave moment that she'll wanna go to] Edie: treasure? ❌🗺 Liam: wooden leg would be useful to hide all the treasure we're bringing in Edie: Gutted I don't know anyone who's ever had an abscess go full necrotic ☠ Edie: and who wants to cart around a treasure chest Liam: don't wanna do your share of the heavy lifting, big surprise Edie: is it? Liam: outgrow this pussy behaviour before tonight as a favour to me Liam: I don't wanna cart that much dead weight about Edie: As I remember it, you owe me though Liam: your memory's in the 🚽 Liam: I owe nobody nothing Edie: yours is selective Edie: can't even get 11 digits down Liam: a barcode's got 12 & I told you it's your business if you wanna walk round inked like you've only lived that many years that's your lookout Liam: not holding your hand Edie: even more gutted, no doubt Edie: 💔 Liam: if you won't be talked out of it, put it on your balls where no-one'll see it Edie: Will you think I'm tough then? Liam: what kind of gay shit is this? Edie: 😂 Edie: go easy on your mate Edie: you got the wrong number Liam: fucked the 11 digits Liam: that's what you were trying to say Edie: mhmm Edie: that's what I said Edie: but a barcode tattoo is a shit idea Edie: agreed Liam: sick of being the voice of reason around here Edie: I find it's more entertaining to let people make the bad decisions, personally Liam: would be jokes until I look a sad twat by association Liam: wants it on his head Edie: 🙄 what's it gonna say, product of the system? Edie: pretty sure a serial killer has already done that Edie: or some shit rapper Liam: he is a shit rapper Liam: [link] Edie: oh Edie: I know him Liam: serious? Edie: by association Edie: I'm a less shit musician in general, not that that's any brag Liam: can I get a listen or you're just here to promo to set me off on a ❌🗺 as payback? Edie: depends Edie: who's heading the rave you linked? Liam: [deets] Edie: alright Edie: you're not 12 like your pal Edie: [links him her music] Edie: [definitely pictures and videos along with, as if you don't know who she is but pretending you don't lol] Liam: come tonight instead of him Edie: talking to strangers is one thing, boy Liam: you leave the bad decisions to everyone else Liam: don't sound as entertaining as it could be Edie: I meant for your safety Edie: could be anyone Liam: be full of nobodys and anyones when we get there Liam: I'm still gonna go Edie: what makes you stand out? Edie: as you ❌ the barcode Liam: when I track you down, I'll listen to your opinion about me Liam: I'm bragging before then Edie: 🤞 we can't hear much of anything over the bass Edie: not that you're intriguing enough to show up for Edie: but the invite is sound Liam: you'll still know what I think, never had an issue with body language over bass Edie: I think I can guess already Liam: 👌 guess Edie: don't take a mind reader Edie: body language and 💭 are one in the same Liam: it don't take a mind reader when you know you're beautiful and talented Edie: ha leave it out Liam: 🧯 Edie: less of that as well Edie: not a wet blanket Liam: 🧨 Edie: that I like Liam: buying 🎇🎆 if you have any requests Edie: [all the party drugs not in code 'cos we're not bothered] Liam: 👾 Edie: NOW I look forward to 👀 you Liam: guessed it Edie: what gave it away? Liam: the vids you linked me to Edie: that's your review? Edie: at least give me some ⭐s Liam: 3.5 Edie: 👌 Liam: I'll give you another 1/2 when the anti barcode tat song drops Edie: what about the other whole? Liam: get him on the track Edie: 😂 Edie: you're on Liam: 👌 Edie: thank god for the edit Liam: & that only you're allowed to freestyle it rule we just invented Edie: good thing I'm more talented than even you are demanding Liam: I'd agree but you've heard it once & you weren't a fan Edie: you can agree when you see it in person Edie: I don't do this online fake shit Liam: I'll have my turn at looking forward to 👀 you Liam: more than down to Edie: good luck Edie: I can't find any cars with spare seats, so it's gonna be a crowd clearly Liam: yours is in if you want his Edie: how will I get my freestyle if he can't catch a ride? 🤔 Liam: shit like that is what earns you the rest of the ⭐s Liam: talent's not just Liam: 🎤🎧 Edie: yeah, I'm well kind and considerate Edie: known for it Liam: good thing I am Liam: [pic of all the drugs he has picked up] Edie: 🤪 Liam: got a 🐷 mask to fit in post raid, can stick it on early if 🥴 isn't doing anything for you Edie: 💡⭐ Edie: if you can't hang with your gurn we can't hang, like Liam: [a gorgeous gurning pic from a previous rave moment] Edie: fit Liam: ha ha ha Edie: don't act like you don't know Liam: I do 👌 out of my mugshots Edie: convince him to get that tatted instead Liam: too gay Edie: alright I'll do it Liam: before or after you take his seat Edie: if you tell me your name I'll save you a spot to earn mine Liam: Liam Edie: alright, Liam, thanks for not having a long and hard to spell name Edie: give me 🖐 Liam: you can have 3.5 again Edie: [purposely leaving it a full five before coming back with his name stick n poked and then a shoddy box for the mugshot portrait to go in] Edie: tada Liam: 👏 Liam: I didn't think you would Edie: if I say I'll do something, I will Edie: why not Edie: loads of Liam's in this town Liam: don't act like it's a standard trick to pull Liam: he's been oohing & ahhing for months over identifying as frozen peas when his face gets scanned Edie: it's a win-win for me, no need to think on it Edie: either you end up being sound, then it's a memory attached, or I get a cool story about getting a tattoo of a mugshot to get a lift to a rave to tell my grandkids Liam: I wanted you to sit next to me 5 mins ago, I can be impressed, can't I? Edie: I accept impressed Edie: and 👏 of course Liam: what did it feel like? Edie: it's somewhere between a scratch and a burning sensation Edie: but deeper Liam: you'll have to do me Liam: I like the sales pitch Edie: what do you want? Liam: what can you do? Edie: on you, a lot better than I can myself Edie: anything you want, I'll make it happen Liam: thanks for accepting impressive Edie: I intend to be so I can Edie: not here to disappoint Liam: I only was willing to be when I thought I was talking to that little bitch boy Edie: no gay shit Liam: unless you like one of the girls in the car Edie: ha Edie: we'll 👀 obviously Edie: where you starting out, anyway, and when Liam: [a time and place, I like to imagine it's a longish drive to give them time to #bond UGH] Edie: [and usually is to go to a middle of nowhere moment so agreed[ Edie: I'll be there Liam: would make me laugh if you don't show now Liam: longest chat I've had for ages Edie: even if I missed you 🚗 I've hitched before Edie: and it's been ages since I've been to a decent party so Liam: my pic could've fooled you but that last one was shit Liam: got a better feeling this time Edie: I feel you Edie: 💊🥤 just makes it tolerable Edie: down to 👀 yeah? Liam: Yeah Edie: better go find my glitter and gemstones out ✌ Liam: I feel you, will take me a while to paint my 💪 UV Liam: not got as steady a hand as you Edie: damn, that was almost impressive Liam: I'll work on it Edie: your steady hand or your bragging about your 💪? Liam: which one's letting me down the most? Edie: 🤔 Edie: you don't need to tattoo me yourself Edie: you are good looking enough you could get away with being cockier, go with that Liam: 👌 but now you've made me wanna tattoo you myself Edie: maybe Edie: if you think of a good idea, we'll overlook the shaky lines Liam: I'll try & think of an idea where wavy lines are part of it Edie: smart Edie: I like it Liam: 🌊 or something Liam: but less shit Liam: 📻 ones maybe Edie: you have any? Edie: professional ones, like Edie: you asked what stick n poke felt like so obviously not Liam: spend my money as fast as I have it Liam: what are you gonna charge me? Edie: what else are you gonna do with it though Edie: see how nice or poor I'm feeling Liam: I won't let the 💊🥤 run out, you'll feel a lot better than nice Edie: deal 🤩 Liam: be me blinded by your glitter & gems Edie: not actually my first rave Edie: but I can raid my little sister's shit if that's part of the deal Liam: see you in a 👑 will I? Edie: that's just standard day to day tbh 🤷 Liam: how many raves have you done? Edie: I've tried not to be in at the weekend since I was like 12 myself so Edie: enough that I know there's nothing fun or attractive about freezing your tits off in a neon bikini in a field Edie: what about you, you're [the year he'd be in which is either 2nd to last or last, either way], right? Liam: hasty to go with unattractive Liam: but yep, you're not wrong Edie: 😏 Edie: I get it, you wanna match 💪 Liam: no gay shit, your own words Liam: I didn't go to my first one until I was like 15, still not impressing anyone here Edie: me either Edie: middle child syndrome or whatever Liam: trade you oldest and only son if you want it Edie: Attention is grand and all but too much parental attention isn't what I'm aiming for Liam: can't offer you it Liam: my parents attention is elsewhere Edie: yours still together? Liam: nah Edie: oh good Edie: wouldn't know what to do with a dad Liam: not lots you can do with mine Edie: might be stuck being ourselves for the foreseeable anyway Edie: not a convincing freaky friday/parent trap situation you and me Liam: shame I won't get to 🎸 & lay down a track with your talent Edie: just buzzin' off all the things I could lift obviously 💪 Liam: this where I get cocky like you said? Liam: go on about how much I can Edie: you could Edie: but I'm clearly impressed before you need to use that tactic Liam: it's too desperate Liam: we both know I can pick you up if you get stuck in the mud later on Edie: we both know it's every man for himself when the 🐷 show Liam: I got you a mask Liam: yours has lipstick and more eyelashes, so we know Edie: thank god Edie: fragile femininity anyone? Liam: prefer toxic masculinity Edie: same Liam: 👍 Edie: if the daddy issues weren't glaring the 👑 will make 'em blinding Liam: we can pretend that since you're with me no-one'll be looking at you if you want Edie: the freedom Liam: I'll give you 🛢🧨 to play with Liam: 🔥 will take the attention Edie: really? Liam: 🎇🎆 wasn't only a code Liam: I do have some Edie: 🤩 no joke Edie: I wanna blow shit up Liam: that's all I ever wanna do Edie: yeah Edie: feel that too Liam: if you can capture 🔥 in a tat that'd be something worth considering Liam: not in a gay way like 🎲💀♠ Edie: that's overplayed, and doesn't mean anything Edie: I'll do some designs, providing I make it home alive Liam: supposed to see my dad tomorrow for the first time in months, don't think I'll rush back Edie: 🛢🧨🎇🎆 why would you Liam: don't feel you have to either, unless you're catfishing me Edie: I'd pick someone else if I was Edie: and you accidentally texted me Liam: I'm into the someone I accidentally texted, full fucking offense to whoever you wanna pick Edie: then I'll stick around too Edie: nothing I'm rushing back for Liam: it's in writing I'm not kidnapping you Liam: have to do a mugshot monday instead or something Edie: feel free Edie: I can't see that I'd mind Liam: being kidnapped or sharing a cell? Edie: hmm Edie: both Edie: though the involvement of bars to keep me about is unnecessary really Liam: does hitchiking only work if you're a girl with killer eyes? asking for myself before we torch the car Edie: as you're toxically masculine, most people'd be afraid to stop for you alone but as we're together, you should be safe and not an axe murderer Edie: unless I'm pulling a Hindley Liam: when we go for that we'll think it through more Liam: 🐶 or 👶 on board Edie: I can borrow one Edie: 👶 more likely Edie: people don't like cats enough Liam: I'll get over a fence to grab us a dog Edie: in one step, like Liam: depending on the fence Edie: sure, don't wanna oversell it Liam: you don't want no online fake shit Edie: just telling you so you know Edie: not the same Liam: thanks for telling me Edie: yeah alright Edie: didn't lecture you did I Liam: nah you didn't Edie: there we go then Liam: [quotes some of her own lyrics at her that he likes because genuinely listening to these tracks] Liam: you could sell that harder Edie: I'll work it out in my freestyle Liam: 🛢🧨 Edie: 🔥 Liam: 🎇🎆 Edie: 🤩 Liam: let's see your glitter Edie: checking it's not a catfish? Liam: can't show you mine first, too cocky behaviour Edie: [a rave lewk when we've clearly done the most to do the least you know the vibe] Liam: [I like to think he's written her name in body paint wherever she put her stick n poke so have a pic of that gal] Edie: 👍 Edie: approved Liam: what do you want your i dotted with? Liam: about as artistic as you'll get me to be Edie: ⭐ Edie: has to be Liam: [an adorable little star has been added so have another pic] Edie: perfect Liam: thanks for having a name that's short and easy to spell yourself Edie: oh yeah, snap Liam: except I haven't met another one of yours Edie: maybe an 👵 Liam: prefer a silent snatch & grab Edie: 😂 Edie: alright, then I can be the one and only Liam: do you wanna guess what I think about it? Edie: I have Edie: be too cocky to say Liam: I'll do it then, you said I can get away with more of it Liam: I think it'd be good if you were Edie: let's see if you're right Liam: feels like I am but yeah we'll 👀 Edie: it is weird Edie: how you randomly found my number instead Edie: how many # were you out by? Liam: you'll have his if you didn't before Liam: last number Edie: crazy Edie: another good story Liam: should've been a 6 but I did a 9 Edie: 🤪 love that Liam: I'll lose my phone again if you're what I find Edie: I'll save your number then Edie: or add it to the tat Liam: since you love how it feels Edie: and I'm no less liable to lose my phone, so Edie: the pain is just a bonus Liam: I can add it as fuel to the 🔥 any time you'd like an excuse to cross my number out & go again Edie: I won't run out of ideas either way Liam: what about space? Edie: not anytime soon Edie: I'll have to go back to biro and keep it less permanent after that Liam: leave it on the bodies of our victims like the shittiest calling card for the 🐷 Liam: call me Edie: ooh Edie: we could get really zodiac with that though Edie: only murder people on days ending in 9 Liam: I like it Edie: I'll go solo if you piss me off and do it on 6 days Liam: I'll start staging them like they've starred in your vids to get your forgiveness Liam: attention to detail for attention from you Edie: we can communicate through corpses Edie: that's new, no one's done that before Liam: when I keep the 👀 as a 🏆 you'll know I wanna see you Edie: romantic, aren't you Liam: toxic like my masculinity Edie: good Liam: ☢️ better than a barcode but not by a lot Edie: I could do you a Chernobyl victim tat Edie: get the toxic and the 🔥 in a really untasteful onner Liam: 👌 you're beautiful, talented & smart Liam: don't give me any flaws to pick at then Edie: I did say untasteful instead of distasteful, if you wanna be pedantic and take away smart so you can save some toxic masculinity points Edie: one-ner, also, doesn't translate to typing Liam: when it took you pointing it out, I don't think I can take anything away from you Edie: you can try Edie: again, like kidnapping, might not mind Liam: I can't help thinking it'd be better to give you things Edie: 🎇🎆🛢🧨? Liam: all that Liam: ⭐🐶👶 Liam: & anything else I've not remembered Edie: we can keep the puppy right Liam: what else would we do with it? Edie: just letting you know I draw the line at puppy killing Edie: get that out of the way now Liam: me too Liam: never microwaved any 🐹 or thrown them at the wall Edie: imagine how big you look to 🐹 Liam: 🏙🦖 Edie: definitely made that 📹 as a kid Liam: I'll be in the remake next time you're stuck for a vid idea Liam: if you still have it, we'll kick it frame for frame Edie: you'd be perfect for my next project Liam: sign me up Edie: [tat pic again like I already did] Liam: what else have you got? Edie: [just a comprehensive pic rundown of your tats that are all just silly ones you've done on the whole hope you've not got them anywhere too scandalous but realistically gonna need to be able to hide them when school so it's probably mostly legs at and like, upper arm and ribs/hip vibes] Liam: 😍 Edie: I'll tell you all the stories later when we're smashed Liam: no awkward silences in the car Liam: great idea Edie: not if the other girls are hot Liam: there's one I think you'd like Liam: you'll have to tell me if I'm wrong Edie: I'll flash a 6 or a 9 and you'll know Liam: she can be our first victim either way Edie: 😈 Liam: 🚗🔥 Liam: 🔐 Edie: 😍 Edie: you win Liam: how do you feel about playing games? Liam: 6 or 9 Edie: 9 Liam: same Edie: I know Liam: yeah, you're smart, I gave you that Edie: how smart is it that I wanna play with you? Liam: I'd call it a good decision, which maybe isn't smart if you only like bad ones Edie: I just like doing what I want Edie: good or bad is mostly irrelevant Liam: so do what you want Edie: you to be here now Liam: direct me 🗺❌ Edie: [at least you've had the good sense to be in town not at yours] Liam: [lord imagine] Edie: [like sure Rio ain't about but still don't need to be inviting you in quite yet lol] Liam: [her room is still there and no thank you hun] Edie: [not today huns, we can either skip to post rave now or post this as is?]
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cyberstabbing · 7 years
Text
Non AUs/Somewhat Canon
Unequivocal - This is how it would have happened. 38k
Hear Me Out - It’s not so much the turning into a girl that’s a problem; that’s happened before. It’s the fact that Frank doesn’t turn back. 23k
Okay but this …  was so much more than I could have hoped for. Definitely raised the bar for everything else.
Ice Cubes And Rubber Bands - “It’s hot.“
”Shut up.“
”It’s so fucking hot and I’m melting.“
“You’ve said that like fifty fucking times in a row now shut the fuck up and stop whining!” Frank grits through his teeth, wiping the sweat off his forehead.
“It’s not my fault that we are stranded here in the middle of fucking nowhere, Frank”, Gerard says, a bitchy undertone in his voice. It almost sounds like he’s trying to pick a fight. Frank takes a deep breath and closes his eyes; it’s too fucking hot to deal with Gerard’s allures right now. 7k (if you include part two)
Breakdown on the L.I.E. - Frank jerked awake when his dream was interrupted by a squealing banshee, which turned out to be the van grinding and squealing to a halt. 6k
every man - “I won't—we’re a band, Marc,” Gee says, “I’m not—shit. I’m not the girl who stays home.” 1k
with the lights on - Frank is weirdly chivalrous in some ways. He always opens doors for her, he lights her cigarettes like he’s in a forties movie or something, and he always offers her the last seat, even if it means that he has to sit on the floor. 10k
Sparkle Motion - For the next week, Gerard woke up every morning to a new list of Words that Describe how Gerard is In Bed pinned on the fridge. It disappeared after one of them wrote, ‘Sparkle Motion’ because, Bob explained to Gerard, they felt they’d nailed Gerard’s essence with that one. 6k
A Natural Reaction to Rough-housing - He made it to the bathroom and stood there leaning heavily on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look like a creepy sadist. But neither did Christian Bale, and that hadn’t ended well for anybody. 27k
Sweet Caffeine (and Love of Liberace) - In which Brian tasered them into it, Gerard read too many comic books as a kid, Jamia isn’t worried about anything, and Bob doesn’t wear a codpiece. 4k
Now Honey, Don’t You Cry - Frank has always had an irrational fear of thunder, but when it causes a breakdown beyond that of ‘irrational,’ Gerard vows to find the truth. 6k
Pavlov’s Dog - It’s during one of their coveted hotel nights that Frank finally has enough. 1k
Reaching Through The Mirror - The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex. 5k
(part one of Time Travel ‘verse)
James Cameron Got It Wrong - In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019. 56k
(part two of Time Travel ‘verse)
Whatever I Want (Whatever That Is) - The first time Frank walked in on Gerard going down a girl in the dressing room, he was pissed. 9k
Distance in the Afterlife - Gerard comes out. 15k
The One Where Ray Can Hear Sex Dreams - I’m really sorry, Mr. Toro. But I didn’t make you have sex with anyone, as per your request. 2k
Heart On - From early days touring in vans to Projekt Revolution, the tour crew swears that they’re not homophobic, they just don’t want to see that shit. Frank takes it as a personal challenge. 13k
I died laughing like 17 times.
Just A Spoonful - It’s actually something of a relief when Frank walks onto the bus to find Gerard learning how to sabotage a car. It’s better than the last time, anyway, when he was trying to snort coke through a rolled-up condom wrapper. Or the time before, when he was passed out in a pile of glass shards. All things considered, wrecking random cars would be a step up for him. 1k
When I Think About You (I Touch Myself) - Van!era bodyswap. Gerard is a narcissist. 2k
You’re so cute when you’re slurring your speech - If this is what Frank wants, then fuck it. Just fucking fuck it. Frank can have it.(Or, Frank wants to bone Gerard. So he does. A lot.) 8k
Ride - This is the coolest place the band has ever stayed at. 15k
jerseymisery wrote this description: ​okay this is an ULTRA FAVE!! the whole fic has such a dreamlike sort of quality to it? it gives me such great vibes of like summer and transience and SHIT LIKE THAT.. it’s set during bullets i’m pretty sure which is. COOL. it just feels like a snapshot, a moment in time.. i really like it. go read it! it’s frank x gerard and mikey x an oc. 
ierohero's write-up: https://ierohero.tumblr.com/post/188897569757/im-reading-ride-again-theres-literally-no
Link to author (they also wrote some fics below)
Sick - It was sort of sick, since Frank was, like, younger than his little brother, but Gerard had wanted to kiss him from the very first second he saw him standing up on stage and smirking into the microphone.
“Who’s that?” he asked Mikey.“That’s Frank,” Mikey whispered back, like it was some big secret or something, hissing the words into Gerard’s ear. “That’s the guy I want you to meet.”
“Figures,” Gerard muttered. It just fuckin’ figured that the first guy he’d wanted to fuck in, like, a semester would be the one Mikey wanted for the band. 5k
Broke - Frank is sick. A companion piece to Sick. 5k
Fucked Up - It’s hard to describe the multitude of ways in which Frankie is fucked up, although Gerard keeps trying. He lies in his bunk at night listening to the other members of the band breathing, soft radiator hisses, the occasional snore, and tries to enumerate to himself what’s wrong with Frankie. He thinks that maybe if he can figure out what the problem is, he can fix it. He’s always been sort of an optimist. 1k
Reasons We Don’t - “Why don’t we fuck?” Frank asks, tipping his head back to blow smoke at the sky. 7k
subterfuge of tiny proportions - It usually takes Gerard hours to wind down from a show. He has this crazy wired look in his eyes when they come offstage, all sweaty and flushed and jittery. He touches people more, talks a little louder, a little faster. Even now, even after all this time, it still gets to him. The nervous energy, the screams of the crowd, the music. Frank watches him every night, because when he is like that, he’s beautiful. And because when the stage buzz wears off, he crashes, hard and fast. 1k
He Told Me I Could Never Go Back - Everything was fine until Frank disappeared. 2k
this broke my heart.
Up Against Your Will (HERE is the chapter index) - Stepping into a world so different from their own, Frank and Gerard struggle to survive. 18 chapters
this was amazing, but also hard to read in some parts, bc of the non con and gore :/ not my cup of tea, but I did love the word building and the fic overall.
When I Was a Little Girl - Frank is a dyke. Period. She doesn't like boys. At all. But if you squint (or you're drunk enough) sometimes Gerard totally looks like a girl. 26k
Silken - Gerard can't help but notice the way Frank bites his lip and shifts in his seat when an interviewer brings up his day in drag. Frank's almost normal when he nudges Gerard with his shoulder, raising his hands in the air and laughing, "Oh, yeah. Man, you should have seen him - like Christina Ricci, you know?" but Gerard can still see the imprint of his teeth on his lower lip and files that away while he relates the story about how the conductor was really nice to him and how he'd managed figure out how to sit without crushing anything vital by the end of the day. <1k
Pushy Little Fuck - "Anyone ever tell you, Iero, that you're a pushy little fuck?" Gerard says, rearranging Frank against his side. 
Frank just grins at him and says, "S'my middle name." Frank Pushy Little Fuck Iero. There's a song in there somewhere. 1k
The Kind They'd Like to Flaunt - When Frank first meets Gee, officially, it's because Ray saw Frank from across the room and put him into a headlock to get him over to his booth. 1k
How Dirty Boys Get Clean - Gerard stinks. Frank convinces him that bath time can be such fun. 1k i think?? maybe 2k
Under My Skin - "Maybe," Gerard had said one night, scratching idly at Frank's scalp, "it was something you ate?" "Maybe," Ray said, "it was some kind of sex pollen." Frank growled and said, "maybe if you don't shut up right now I'm going to kick your ass." 1k
Body of a Venus (lord, imagine my surprise) - Gerard is dressed like a girl and decides to pay Frank a visit. 1k
​Never Looked Better And You Can’t Stand It - For once, Frank is the self-conscious one. 1k
In the Dark - The problem wasn’t that Gerard was stupid; the problem was that he wasn’t always the most observant guy around. Sometimes he just misses things that maybe he should have noticed. He hadn’t thought anything of it the first time Frank had pushed his hands out from under his shirt and said, “I’d rather touch you.”
(Or the one where chubby!Frank is really self-conscious and avoids having sex with Gerard with the lights on.) 2k
Jane Doe - Frank meets a mystery girl at a party. When she turns out to be not such a mystery (and not such a girl), he’s forced to make some hard choices. Set in fall 2000. This isn’t an AU, but some details have been changed. 9 chapters
This fic, man… this fic… An amazing read (though unfinished). Really shows how unbalanced affection and care can be, and leaves you uncertain yet hopeful for their relationship. Here’s an excerpt:
”The heat’s on as high as it goes,“ Gerard said, glancing over with concern. Frank wondered if Gerard would have noticed his trembling if they hadn’t been making out feverishly just a few hours beforehand.
Edit 22/10/2019: I just found out there was a ninth chapter?? Holy shit okay lets go.
Moonlight Model - Frank's a photographer. Gerard's a model. Only not really. 1k
Pack - Frank's a very playful werewolf. 1k
I Wish I Were A Ghost - Halloween is Frank Iero's birthday. It's also the day when the veil between the world of the living and the dead is at it's thinnest.
A ghost-story. Short and sweet. 1k
Immutable - Frank and Gerard are sitting in bed, talking about frank's tattoos, and it's beautiful. 1k​
Curl - Gerard finds Frank tied to the seatbelt in the back of their tour van. Sexytimes ensue. 2k
no sleep - Gerard looked terrible, hollow-eyed and sweaty, and it was still only just after midnight. <1k
the second time the band saves gerard's life - ​soberty fic. 1k
Half the Battle - People tend to assume Gerard is an alpha. Frank knows better. 1k
Afresh - As much as Frank tells him there's never been a time he didn't love Gerard, Gerard knows Frank definitely doesn't miss the days when he could sometimes smell him from the other room. 1k
Just Because - By the time Gerard asked Frank to join the band, the only answer Frank had left for him was yes. 4k
Holding Out For An Iero - When Frank gets his chestpiece, he doesn't have sex for a week. 5k
An Inexplicable Occurrence of Angels - 35k
This was on my Fics-I-Can’t-Find-list, and since this one doesn’t have a description, I’ll just paste in what I could remember from reading it last year: ​
My Chem (minus Frank) broke up after Revenge. One day Frank kinda shows up (can't remember how). Frank's an angel with big wings and is hopelessly clueless about the world, so the rest or My Chem have to help him. They take him on walks and it looks like he has a hunchback bc of his wings. I think Frank doesn't even know any words in the beginning, but he learns english quickly. Loves watching movies. Everyone in My Chem basically crash at ray's place bc of Frank. And they're all Hey... maybe we should pick up the band again...? 
UPDATE: okay i just reread it and it’s sooooo good holy shit. especially the last chapter. there was a comment on AO3 about how they would come back and reread the last chapter over and over again because it made them so happy. that’s probably what i’m gonna do from now on.
A Necessary Requirement - description by jerseymisery ... i think: ​it’s like a warped tour fic i believe, god it’s so fucking funny, the dialogue is gr8.. basically the whole fic is frank wanting to know what gerard’s dick looks like okay dhgvjsdghg. 3k
Twenty Percent Down - We're rock stars," Frank says firmly. "We're not moving back to live in our parents' basements." 7k
House hunting!
"What's your credit rating like?" he pants out. "I - what?" Gerard stops mouthing Frank's skin and lifts his head up. ^ Never fails to crack me up.
One Hundred Percent - (Almost. Maybe.) - Frank sighed. "I'm playing tonight," he said, firmly. "It is a fucking sore throat. Luckily, I am not the lead singer. I can play my fucking guitar with a sore throat. I can play it with my eyes closed. I am fine." (11,400 words of, you know, Frank being sick. A LOT.) 11k
Raspberry Swirl - The time that the whole band woke up as girls was maybe the weirdest. 16k
Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k
Ship(s): Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons
^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read.
Update because I need to add some things: Listen! Words can not express how obsessed with this fic I am. I made a mixtape for it. Fanart. Currently working on a ebook version of it so I can print it out. Guys. You do not understand how fucking fantastic this fic is. Don’t scroll away from me, I’m serious! Fucking click the link dammit. Click it. C’mon. I’m waiting–click iiiiit. You back yet? Yeah? What did I tell you! I know, it is amazing! You okay? Got tissues? Good. Okay now go wash your face and eat a snack. No, no, no need to thank me, the pleasure was all mine.
Any Way You Want - ​Gee Way is fronting early MCR when Frank spots them in a shitty bar and immediately finds himself immersed in the energy of the music; not to mention the addictive personality of the lead singer. 18k
​Sucker Bet - Since Frank's currently got a sloppy handful of Gerard's hard-and-getting-harder cock, oops kinda seems like an understatement. But Frank's a practical kinda guy. 2k
A Helping Hand - Frank just wants to be able to jerk off. He doesn't think that's too much to ask. 6k
Frank the Failiest Vampire - Frank's a vampire, and he's finally ready to let the world know. 0.9
a not!fic
Three Sharp Bites - When Frank had imagined the joy of finally finding a helpless thrall who would tilt back his neck for him, displaying the jugular with a undertone of love and utter submission, he didn't really expect it to include the joy of being bent almost in two while his mate fucked the living shit out of him. 0.7k
part two of Frank the Failiest Vampire. This isn’t a not!fic though.
Fantasy Book - This was really, really not normal behavior for Gerard - not for real, normal Gerard, and it was even a little abrupt for the imaginary Gerard who lived in Frank's head and came out during his Special Alone Times with his dick. 16k
The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k
Incredibly painful but worth a read. Or ten. One-sided Frank/Gerard.
second word, one syllable - Prompt #60. Frank loses his voice and has to use notes, texts, charades, etc. to communicate. 4k
More Than He Can Say - Frank doesn't know what it is about tonight. 2k
I've Got Friends in Closed Spaces - Written for the no_tags challenge for the prompt of 'accidental frottage.' Set in the middle of a tour, vaguely 2004. 4k
it’s the hide-and-seek fic! i’ve been looking for this for an eternity.
​First Class - Gerard is totally disturbed, because he's sort of obsessed with making Frank drool. 1.6k
Party Games (Eureka!) - Gerard has awesome ideas. 2k
MCR: untitled no.1 - Gerard plays piano in the loosest sense of the word - plays, with fingers stuttering a little in the air above the white keys and even more over the black ones; body hunched over and shoulders tucked in as soft lines form between his eyebrows. Zero-point-something k. 
and here’s another piano drabble by the same author!
just like it was - Basically, I had this really urgent desire to write about Gerard's high school reunion. <1k
love on the webways - As a writer, Grant supposes he could have considerably worse habits than trolling his own message boards.
A totally ridiculous AU vaguely inspired by You've Got Mail. 32k Grant/Gerard
This was so fun to read! It’s a what-if-they-broke-up-after-tbp fic btw.
you weaseled your way into my heart (and ferreted out my feelings) - You gotta watch out for those bands with umlauts. 5k
Reverberation - Frank feels like he just fell off the stage, staggered directly from the lights and out into the long hallway backstage, tipping over into the momentary quiet. 1.5k
Not a Pretty Girl - 28k
Gen. Always-been-a-girl fic featuring kick ass female drummer, Bob Bryar. The story is a series of shorter fics all about her life before MCR, growing up as a woman in the Chicago scene, touring with The Used, joining MCR and everything that comes with that. It's awesome. + art!
I Am a Patient Boy - So this is an AU about Gerard being a girl named Helen (after her...grandmother?) and Frank being sort of, head over heels. 5k
“He goes to the next show alone. It’s in this basement club, red-lit and smoky. Frank stands on a chair at the back of the room. Over everyone’s head so he can get a good look.”
This fic follows Frank as he leaves Pencey Prep and joins My Chem in 2001. The author changed a lot of details though, so I recommend thinking of it as an AU in how the band formed. Unless you want to yell at your screen at 1am for it getting the timeline wrong (like I did).
Not Smashing Windows - In the beginning, they were the scene. An origin story. 32k
From Gabe’s POV, and it’s done flawlessly. It somehow emulates the same feeling one gets from stumbling across an overlooked short film at three a.m. on youtube. The one you can’t help but wonder about, how it is that you’ve never heard about it before. Like it is in its own bubble of existence. Feeling afraid to even breathe or look away, afraid that it’ll disappear at any time, that it was too good to be true. Something you shouldn’t be able to hold in your hands. This fic feels incredibly personal to read. Gabe’s longings of intimacy, the hopelessness at parts. I could feel my fondness for the characters grow enormously in this fic. The wording and conversations and scenes paint a brilliant picture that will stay with you for a long time. I know it will for me at least. Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way
For a Different View - AU. Ray Toro is a girl, Rae, but MCR is still just MCR. 49k
The first time they went over to Mikey's house, Mikey tossed her a beer and said, "My brother might come up. Maybe not, though. He gets weird in the middle of projects." She found out what he meant halfway through Dawn of the Dead, when a bundle of black fabric barreled from the basement door to the refrigerator and back down to the basement without saying a word to either of them.
I need to finish this!!! But –gah. Such awesome awesomeness. Ship: Ray/Mikey
Double Exposure - “The worst part was the confession. Well, the explanation sucked too.” Written for prompt 38. Frank/Mikey - Frank and Mikey bodyswap during tour and have to play shows as each other. 2.5k
Frank isn’t part italian in this fic. He’s part alien! :D Ship: Frank/Mikey
Anti-Sex (It Comes Around remix) - The first time Frank ever really talked to Mikey's brother it was at a house party somewhere in the shitty part of the Oranges. Before that, Gerard was just Mikey's weird older brother. In Frank's mind, their interactions were always relative to Mikey, spinning out from him, Mikey first, Gerard a trailing but connected afterthought. At that party, though, Mikey's brother was a little buzzed and cheerful with it, talking with a charisma and charm Frank hadn't seen before. 
Here’s a v 2018 relevant part: “Hey, you bring me my voter's registration, I swear I'll turn it in." "You're not even registered to vote?" Gerard said, and brought a hand up to run his pinky across his eyebrow like it was all just too much, and Frank laughed. 
Crooked Crown - There's always a voice in the back of Frank's head, tiny and barely registering after years of shrugging it off, but still present nonetheless. It says things like, this is a bad idea, and it's satisfying now, but there'll be consequences later. Or, this is the line and you're about to cross it. Someone had once said that Frank had no conscience, which wasn't true because hi, voice in his head. He totally did have a conscience - it was just that he wasn't much of a slave to it.
In any case, the voice dampens out even quicker than usual this time and he's then free to scribble 'BALLS' in Sharpie over each page of Gerard's brand new issue of Hellboy before stuffing it back underneath the seat to be discovered later on. 4k
“The next day they're in Austin, and it feels like an armpit. Mikey walks around with his fingers splayed out, trying to prevent any part of his body from touching another”
^ Ah Mikey, never stop being so relatable. Anyway, this was hilarious. I love how petty both of them were. Poor Ray with his head in his hands!
Rappelling Down Mount Vesuvius - 1k | Gen
I love reading little snippets of their lives like this. Just the right amount of fluff and backstory for something bittersweet and hopeful.
down to the water - Things were better than they were a month ago, hell, a week ago, but that wasn't saying much. A week ago, Gee was stumbling drunk on a stage in Japan and puking so much Frank had honestly been afraid she was going to die. So, while her over-caffeinated, white-faced sobriety of today was a welcome change, Frank still felt like they were all on the edge of disaster, that everything they'd worked so hard for could still collapse around them. 10k
New Rule - Pitch-black basement sex. 2k
Frank is jammed in between Gerard and the wall. He made Gerard check the entire basement for spiders before they turned off the crazy-bright fluorescent strip light, but he’s still wrapped himself up in the blankets like a burrito, jamming the edges under his body until he’s fucking airtight. “If you stretch you’ll pull the blankets out,” he says, muffled because his face is pressed under Gerard’s chin. “And then the spiders will get in, and then I’ll have to kill you.”
Oooh nooo, they have to share the bed. [cackles loudly]
Kiss The Bottle - A drunk wizard slips Frank a love potion while the band is in between tour dates. Chaos and mischief ensues. 35k
An impeccable casting of the wizard, I must say. lol
Don't Fear the Reaper - Gerard's not the greatest with faces but there's one that keeps crossing his path that he can't ignore. 4k
THE SCENE IS DEAD - 20k
Can’t remember who wrote this description (it’s on my to-do list) (was it disenchanted?) but THEY PUT IT INTO WORDS: “I don't know how to begin to describe this one... It's written in an unusual format - ie. a lot of it is told through newspaper articles and webpages but it's one of those super haunting fics that stays with you for days. I don't think there are any triggers listed so be warned there are character deaths and supernatural stuff.”
And I really don’t have more to add. I don’t even want to say anything more because honestly for this fic, the less you know the better. For me the experience of reading it was made a hundred times better just by the emotional rollercoasters I was put through. Lol. Trying to figure out what was going on/going to happen next was really fun.
Candy Cane Vodka - "Yeah, Mikey, you accidentally made fucking peppermint Everclear. Congratulations and all, but Jesus Christ."
Mikey gets an idea on the road after finding a bargain bin book on homemade infusions. Experimentation follows, and Yuletide chaos ensues.
ngl... i’m tempted to make that vodka mixture
Ships: Mikey/Ray, Frank/Gerard
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