#summer gods this is my offering please grant me a wish now
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Helloo! If its okay would you be willing to write a short story where the reader is like super terrified of thunder storms and peter ends up finding out somehow and is just like, super supportive and all golden retriever boy? I love yooouuu!💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
Rough rain patters against your window with no sign of stopping anytime soon. Cracks of lightning and thunder fill the New York City sky and maybe, to some, these storms were peaceful. To you however, these storms were brutal.
Curled up with T.V. Full blast to try and drown out the sounds of the rain and your boyfriends old internship hoodie to keep you warm, you tried to ignore to constant anxiety and fear that filled your body from the rain but it was too hard. The thought of the power going out, a flood happening, getting stuck in your—
“Oh my god, it’s brutal out there.” The sliding sound of the window snapped you from your thoughts. In a torn—and wet—blue and red suit, your boyfriend stands with his mask in hand trying to catch his breath.
You understand why Peter took the window, there was nothing casual about the infamous Spider-Man walking though the front door of apartment 213 but there were times where you wished, for your own mental sake, he would walk through the front door.
“Yeah, shut the window please.” Your voice softer than normal as you speak. He climbs in, removing the suit as if you are not in the room leaving you exposed to his nearly naked form covered in scratches and damp from a mixture of sweat and rain.
“It’s almost like no one wants to commit crime when it’s pouring outside! I mean, understandable but I wanted to make sure all was well—oh! I wanted to let you know that—why is the t.v so loud?” He turns to you, his brows furrowed.
It always made you smile, your boy and his constant train of thought slipping. One moment he could be talking about a lab discovery and the next he’s talking about how much mustered he needs on his sandwich to compliment it. It brings your heart at ease.
With only dating for a few months, you hadn’t ever told peter your fear of storms. Small showers of rain were nothing but the summer storms like these ones were what you feared. You felt embarrassed even when you shouldn’t have, peter told you how he had been afraid of how fast fruits can fly when they are thrown after his aunt may tried to test his senses. So your fear of storms were nothing but felt like everything.
“It’s just loud outside.” You cover for yourself but you already see the hairs on his arms rising.
“Liar.” He comes closer, his eyes travel down your body seeing just how bundled up you are.
“It’s true!” You lie again and he narrows his eyes at you before looking over at the window. He walks right past you and goes to open it and you feel your heart rate rise.
“Don’t!” You stop him and he turns to you. You can see that he feels it, your fears seeping into his body as if they were his own. “Please, peter.” You rarely used his name, calling him pet names here and there only using peter if you were serious.
“Are you afraid?” He asks softly and you take a deep breath.
“It’s embarrassing, I know.” You swallow back as if you might cry. The hard lump already forming in your throat.
“It’s not embarrassing. Why didn’t you tell me something sooner?” He comes closer, his hands nervous to touch you, waiting for your permission which you grant by leaning into him.
“I-I don’t know. It is embarrassing! We live in New York it rains here all the time and I’m not exactly afraid of the water it’s more of the storms that come, they’re so loud pete it’s just too much and what if the power goes out? What if someone breaks in when the power goes out? Did you know that crime—“ you start to ramble and peter stops you.
“Babe, I promise you nothing is going to happen and-and I wish you told me sooner but you’re telling me now and I’m happy you’re telling me so…so tell me what I can do to help.” He offers and you feel as though the lump in your throat is being replaced with love rather than fear.
“I-I want to sleep but I don’t know if I can.” You admit and he Hums.
“Okay, I’ll take a shower and then make some tea and we’ll fall asleep together okay?” He offers and you shake your head and suddenly the boy worries as if he’s said the wrong thing.
“What if you get struck by lighting in the shower?” Your question throws him off.
“What if I get struck by light—you realize I’ve been to space right? And have been hit by a train? And there was even this time where—“ you shake your head and let your forehead fall into his shoulder as you push off from him.
“Then go shower bugboy I just…please don’t get struck by lighting? You almost got electrocuted last week from the toaster.” You sit on the bed and he leans down to press a kiss to your lips.
“Okay, first of all, that toaster is probably getting recalled and our building is so old that was not my fault.” He kisses again before heading into the bathroom but before he shuts the door he pauses, turns to you with a sincere looking on his face. “I would never let anything happen to you, you know that right?”
With all the death he’s experienced, his uncle, his aunt, his mentors and his friends, all gone and he feels as if it is him. With you, you are his last hope and at first he was scared but now he never leaves your side.
“I know.” You nod your head and he smiles before slipping into the bathroom and starting up the shower.
Peter never left your side for the rest of the night, his arms wrapped around you and with ever crack of thunder he only held you tighter and littered your face in kisses. He held you until morning, until the rain stopped, until you were finally relaxed. He would never left anything happen to you, you were all he had left.
#kats blurbs#peter parker imagine#peter parker x reader#peter parker fluff#peter parker blurb#peter parker fic#peter parker x y/n
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" wow... you look... you look amazing. " for peter please? i love love love ur writing btw!
NOTE: This... ended up so embarrassingly long... i don't even know what the word count is, but i can bet it's a good 20%-30% longer than the average blurb.
WARNINGS: cursing, quirky🤪 mentions of drug use, implied making out (but can be perceived as sex, dear god please don’t perceive it as sex though), and some good ol’ fashion stark!ready x peter parker banter
They say, "never meet your heroes." Well, Peter wished he had adhered to that warning before he ended up here — a lanky, overdressed thumb towering high above the roof of the Avenger's Compound.
A semi-annual assembly of New York City's finest heroes that had little to do with their civic duties, and much to do with their inhibitions, and just how much alcohol it would take to release them — but there was one glaring problem.
Peter didn't drink.
He never saw the allure, especially when it came at such a high risk. He'd convinced himself that he refrained for the sake of Aunt May, the only remaining part of his family who put her life on the line to ensure his safety and overall well-being — the Spider-Man reveal already took some getting used to, he didn't need to add drunken night expenditures to her overnight fretting. Yet, when Flash's 'End of the Year' party had been raided by the police, a small part of him found joy in knowing he needn't fear the police or their breathalyzer test, even if he was deemed Pussy Parker for the remainder of that summer.
Even if he wanted to instill some liquid courage into himself, he hadn't the basic courage to let himself be vulnerable like that, in front of all the adults that made up the Avengers. Mr.Stark had already commented on his only suit, and how small he looked as it swamped his form, and the entire altercation made him wish the roof would just open up and swallow him whole.
Bullies, you'd call them.
There they were, New York's finest Defender's, huddled around the Mastrangelo like it couldn't put their entire life savings to shame, hosting a rousing game of beer pong upon its marble exterior. Your father was lucky your mother was still in Milan, tying up loose ends on a new line of bullshit you didn't concern yourself with. You just counted the days until she returned home, and you could soak up every ounce of her nurturing presence.
God, did you miss her.
It’s not like your father wasn’t just as nurturing, competitively so, to a point were you almost felt smothered — but you were too alike. In spaces where you both held too stubborn, your mother was there to mediate, and with ceaseless barrages of dry humor came her firm, unwavering severity, proving her love with candid remarks instead of jesting quips.
“Oh, free intern!” He dragged you from your nostalgic supercut with your endearing nickname, coaxing a fierce glare from your hues. “Run down to that place on 7th street and get some beer? And not that Miller Coor’s Bud bullshit, the upper echelon on Sigma Delta Nu delicacies.”
Jesus Christ.
You had caught glimpses of his argument with Steve, complaining about how stupid it would be to pour anything top shelf into a red solo cup — blasphemous really — but you didn’t expect him to do anything more than concede.
"Father of the year, everybody." You clapped just above your head, prompting the remaining company to join you. "I think you're forgetting that I'm not twenty-one."
"First and foremost, I know I am," Tony counters your triumphant grin with a sarcastic one. "Which is how I know that your fake ID says 21."
"Stark, it's fine. I can grab the beer," You thanked God and her impeccable timing once Steve interrupted, settling himself between the two of you with outstretched palms. "I could use the fresh air anyway."
You mimicked Steve's stance, cocking your brows toward your father. "See? Problem solved. Now leave me alone."
Losing interest in the company exponentially, you started to retreat, but groaned once your father's voice pierced the air again. "Nuh-uh-uh, Rogers. Why? So you can go to the nearest GNC and snort a container of protein powder? I don't think so."
You retreat to the furthest recesses of your mind as Tony and Steve bicker back and forth about honesty and friendly competition. Steve wouldn't know how to bump a rail if the U.S Army assembled a thorough, interactive training course on it, and his age quadrupled the life expectancy of most snow-packed socialites. Yet, on the other hand, you were shocked that your father even knew what a GNC was — ultimately, you were riled from your thoughts by an irksome realization.
"Are you fucking- Why can't old man Jenkins do it?" you gestured wildly toward the enhanced super soldier in question, blind to the obvious offense scrawled across his features. You seldom took your opulent lineage for granted, but when situations such as these presented themself, a selfish corner of your mind wondered what it would be like to have a run-of-the mill, cheesy-pun equipped, golf short wearing father. "You'd rather risk your daughter's own safety, and the sanctity of her criminal record, for a stupid game of beer pong?"
Natasha's incredulous laughter chimed between your incessant back and forth, spurred by the uncanny resemblance you and your father shared between every aspect imaginable — your dry wit just so happened to be in the spotlight.
"Yes," He didn't bother to meet your glare, already familiar with its scorching beam against the side of his face "Yes I would."
Hues practically rolled into the back of your skull, exaggerating your every move to a thespian level to make it clear, to even the boniest of heads, that you didn't take pleasure in this task. You were so excited to finally unwind at this event — slam down the sugary mocktail your Uncle Thor always "forgot" to order virgin, dangle your feet over the shallow end of the pool, maybe even shoot a few low jests at Bucky if there wasn't a carnal gleam in his eyes.
Your thrilling plans were now put on hold just to support your father's mid-life crisis.
"I know, I know." He tried to repeat the name of the wine stop n’ shop, only for you to wave him off. He wasn’t wrong — you had been abusing your fake ID in that very stop n’ shop for years, though you’ve recently come to the conclusion that the cashier was far more interested in your chest than your credentials. "If I get arrested, I'm bring you down with me. I'll tell Business Insider that FRIDAY's just one, big elaborate ruse for the underground Fake ID business you have on the side. They'll eat it up like-"
"Love you, honey! I'll venmo you!" He butt in, sending you off with a wave of his fingers.
You flipped him off, shouting an earnest 'I love you' in return. There was no denying that you loved each other, some would even argue that he loved you more than he loved himself — you just chose to show it in your own, eccentric way.
Mere seconds into your newfound task, you stopped dead in your tracks. You could make out that bed of chestnut locks anywhere.
"Parker?" Swiftly surveying his frumpy attire, you struggled to stifle the upward tilt of your lips. Even as he stood uncomfortably before you, visibly seconds away from crawling out of his own skin, he still managed to be the sweet, endearing Peter you knew and loved. "God, I didn't even realize that was you."
You didn't have the heart to tell him that you caught one fleeting glimpse of him at the very beginning of the festivities and thought he was a part of the catering company, nor did you feel a need to disclose the snide remark you whispered into your father's ear about the miserable staff. There was no sense in kicking a dead horse while it was already down.
His gaze weighed heavy against your frame, though, bolstered by an overwhelming intensity that forced you to wonder if he could read your mind. Though, if you could tap into his thoughts, you'd be shocked to find a reflection of your own — bewilderment, adoration, the tell-tale signs of a burgeoning crush, and the myriad of excuses that disputed them.
He could only manage to stumble over his words, complimenting you with sentiments that could never amount to the emotions welling in his chest. "Wow... you look... you look amazing."
And you couldn't argue, not with the way you were pampered hours prior. Mercier had smothered your hair in this honey-infused serum that made your curls bounce to life with each step, and the custom Jacquemus silhouette you were sporting hugged every ample curve enticingly so. You felt like a million bucks, and you probably cost that much give or take, so why deny it?
Peter, on the other hand — Well, he was very lucky that he was so cute, and his jawline could probably cut Vision's infinity stone straight out of his skull. It almost made up for the tragic shape of his suit, and just how tragically out of place it was at this event.
"You look, um-" Softness tugged at the corner of your eyes as they crinkled dotingly. "You look very cute."
"That was a very convincing half-truth." He chuckled, a subtle pink hue blooming over the valleys of his cheeks."
"Oh, so a part of you knows you're cute." You teased, enjoying the way the pink hue grew deeper.
"Oh! Oh, no... No, I mean, kind of? On the scale of confident perspectives, I think-uh-cute... Cute is on the lower end? And you know what? My Aunt May-"
"Peter, you wanna get out of here?" You interrupted him, hoping to save him from all the words he had yet to stumble over. "And then immediately come back?"
"Yeah," He vigorously nodded his head, despite being equally as confused. "Yeah, I'd like that a lot."
"Come," You offered your hand, a small gesture the two of you have woven into your complicated relationship.
You'd tend to straddle a very thin line between friendship and something more, reaping all the warm, tentative affections of newfound lovers without explicitly considering yourselves so. The both of you, for as brilliant as your merits show, continued to convince yourselves that the hand holding, the comfortable silences, the mornings plastered against each other's sides, were simply happenstance. Despite the increasing willingness of each encounter, you'd only ever chalk it up to chance. So when you offered your hand out to him, he took it in stride — because the two of you would indulge in every ounce of attention you could get your hands on, at least until one of you inevitably came to your senses and found someone worth your time.
Your fingers were firmly intertwined as you led him to the roof’s exit, tugging him down the staircase and through the vacant halls of the top floor just in time to catch the elevator. You found no reason to keep his hand hostage once you were inside, so you begrudgingly retracted yours. You swore you could hear a pitiful huff come from his side of the elevator, but you chalked it up to wishful thinking.
Now it was just you and Peter, left to your own devices, and roughly ninety-two floors away from your destination. Just enough time to do what you were aching to do.
“Peter,” You murmured, and his gaze flickered to your own without a moment of hesitation, drenched in a hopeful haze you failed to decipher.
“Y/N?” He echoed, tilting his body toward your own.
“You look...” You paused, unsure of which word accurately portrayed your thoughts. ”insane.”
“I know.” He whined. You tried to stifle the giggle that bubbled at his hopeless demeanor, brows furrowed together as he squeezed his eyes shut, shoulders slumped impossible low.
“It’s a good thing you have such a charitable friend.” And you made light work of his suit jacket, the air suddenly rapt with a thick air of electricity as you worked the offending article off his shoulders, haphazardly tossing it on the ground. Protests formed on the tip of his tongue, but he opted to swallow them in return for your help, going slack when you ran your fingers through his meticulously gelled hair.
Though he embodied the vision of a suave, debonair socialite alarmingly well, with his carefully quaffed locks, nothing suited him as well as the pillowy, fawn tendrils that made up his soft curls. You needed them back, needed a reminder of your sweet, darling boy, and patience was never your strong suit.
You wondered if he was in need of the same reminder, seeing as he’d let you manhandle him without so much as a hum of discontent.
All done. Only a few revisions, and he was a completely different boy. Clad in a crisp, white shirt, sans its horrifying grey counterpart, you rolled the sleeves up to his elbows and unbuttoned the top three discs. The fabric was taut against his impressive set of muscles, leaving little to the imagination with each sweeping roll of his arms. You’d pat yourself on the back, but you were too busy drooling all over your work.
“Is- Is this good?” He broke the silence with a tentative query, peering back at you through his lashes.
"Yeah,” You voice came out strangled at best, distracted by the flurry of butterflies ravaging your stomach. There was something about this moment — maybe it was the glint of tenderness ridding his gaze, or your tight proximity, or maybe it was fate, finally persuading you to topple over that dangerous line — but regardless, you decided it was now or never. “but there's still something missing,"
“My jacket?” He breathlessly queried. His eyes frantically searched your face, like he couldn’t settle on just one feature to admire.
“No, no...” You breathed back, cautiously inching closer, until there was only a sliver of space separating your chests. "You need to loosen up, Parker."
“And what- What do you suggest I do?” His gaze flickered down to your lips shamelessly, and returned just as quickly.
“Do you trust me?”
“I’ve trusted you this far.”
“Good,” You sighed, your breath fanning over his lips before you greedily chased its warmth, kissing him with such feather-light pressure, it almost felt like a dream — a thrilling, delicate dream. You had to tear yourself from his lips before you delved even deeper, hoping to find a mirror image of your relief, your satisfaction, in his own features. However, before your eyes even fluttered open, his palms swept under the curve of your jaw, and coaxed your mouth back to his, instantly qualming any of your fears as you both melted into the exchange. He tasted of spearmint, and cherries, and something so intoxicatingly him that you could barely restrain yourself.
You wanted him, God, did you want him, and for the first time, someone wanted you just as much, without an ounce of greed to it — He wanted you for you.
The remaining seconds of the elevator ride were filled with fervent kisses, and wandering hands, your fingers playing with the curls at the nape of his neck while his bunched the silky fabric of your dress. It was all smitten, indulgent brushes of your lips until the elevator dinged, and the doors opened up to reveal the fashionably late, dynamic duo —Sam Wilson and James Buchanan Barnes.
Their expressions were nothing short of priceless, one complexion green while the other ran pale at the sight of your interwoven limbs. You tried to open your mouth before they could comment, but you were far too late, buried in a booming wall of—
"This is a public space! You are defiling a public space!"
"I can't do this— I'm gonna take the stairs."
Their voices weaved into a messy, irritated harmony of disbelief, managing to still complement each other despite their varying levels of urgency.
An idea, a selfish, evil idea, popped into your head, and you enacted it before you could even unravel yourself from Peter’s hold.
"You just reminded me, I was about to text you! My dad needs a couple cases of Yuengling.” You gestured for Peter to press on the “Open Door” button, and by the time he started clicking the prompt, you’d already fetched your wallet, fishing your card out for Sam. “They probably have some at the corner store, but he’ll throw up if he finds out he was drinking alcohol from the corner store, so you’re gonna have to walk down to that market on Seventh.” You could feel Peter’s perplexed gaze gnaw at your shoulder, but you persisted in your impish pursuits, shoving the AmEx into his hand.
“Chop chop, lover boys!” You hastily snapped your fingers in his direction, and yelled just loud enough to make sure Bucky accompanied him, parsing their punishment out evenly.
Served them right, encroaching on such a perfect moment.
Bucky’s groan echoed through the stairwell, followed by a childish stomp of combat boots, and you were pleased enough to shoo Peter’s hand away, pressing the “Close Door” button.
Sometimes it was nice being Tony Stark’s daughter — less backtalk from the sovereign throne of comebackdom.
“I thought you said we were getting out of here.” His brows were pinched together, the most adorable little frown forming between them.
“Oh, we most certainly are,” You replied, pressing the button for your floor. You could tell that the pieces weren’t clicking all the way, and you proceeded to spell it out for him, dropping a chaste kiss to the spot just below his ear. “We’re gonna go to my room. And then we’re gonna go right back to the party when we’re done.”
“When we’re done?” He mused, voice wavering beneath the soft caress of your lips, scattering even more tentative kisses down the column of his neck.
“When we’re done.” You parroted back, meeting his downward gaze through your lashes.”I think you still have some loosening up to do.”
#peter parker#peter parker x reader#peter parker blurb#peter parker oneshot#peter parker x stark!reader#3K ????????????#3?????????#K??????????#IDK HOW I GOT HERE#MOM PICK ME UP IM S C A RED?????#idk i think there's just something about stark!ready x peter parker that just gets me going#mine*
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the familiarly unfamiliar stranger;
na jaemin x reader
He is the guy that’s kind to basically everyone. No one has ever disliked him. He’s always had that “friendly guy but doesn’t have a group of permanent friends” type of aura. Despite that aura of his, he’s never seen hopping from one friend group to another either. He’s just... there. He only has his DNYL fraternity that I would consider to be his only friends.
genre. angst, fluff, childhood friends meeting after a long time becoming lovers
warnings. none!
word count. 16.3k~
description. Would it be possible to meet that particular stranger that you made a sudden connection with in the span of two months when the two of you first met at a beach house party? I didn’t really try finding the answer to that after we parted way and never to cross paths again. Instead, the answer came to me when I went to college and realised that Jaemin was studying there as well. Just when I thought my unsaid feelings could finally be released for him to hear, I got to find out that he joined a fraternity called ‘DNYL’, meaning that they’re people that want absolutely nothing to do with love.
READ PART II HERE
!as they should materlist!
“Get your ass out of this couch and come with me!” Johnny plopped himself down next to me. I kept my eyes on the TV screen, not giving a single care about Johnny's constant persuasion to take me to some beach house party.
“Are you serious right now?” Johnny lets out an exasperated huff. “We’re at the beach for God’s sake! You need to enjoy summer break here to the fullest. One way is to get out and party!” He grabbed onto my wrist, tugging it with every word to emphasize his points. I used my free hand to scoop a handful of popcorn from the bowl. “I still have two months here. I can admire the beach whenever I want. Just not with complete strangers.” I rolled my eyes as I chewed, words muffled due to the fact that I stuffed my mouth till it was full.
“Can you please?” Johnny whined, shoulders shaking from left to right. “Ah! I shall make my wish now.” I turned to him, arching a brow in a questioning look. “What the hell are you talking about?” Johnny giggled and a wide smirk crept up his face creepily. Whatever Johnny’s about to mention is going to force me to stop saying no. I just know it.
“Remember you said you’d grant me a wish since I gave you the credit for coming up with that idea for your art project?” Yup, knew it. Thanks to the idea that Johnny gave me, I was able to get an A for my end of year art coursework. Supposedly, we were needed to credit everyone, and I mean everyone, who contributed in any way. But Johnny offered to give me full credit for the most important part of the project, which I’m greatly thankful for. But unfortunately, it’s now about to stab me in the back.
“I literally treated you to bubble tea for that!” I retorted, eyes narrowed at Johnny as he shook his head vigorously. “That doesn’t count.” I let out a loud defeated sigh. I could never beat Johnny in this. Even if I did, he’d still go on to pester me every second. Not wanting to push this matter any further and having to put up with Johnny’s stubbornness, I plopped another popcorn into my mouth, whispering a “Better be worth my damn time.” after I swallowed.
We were living in a trailer during our stay by the beach and had to walk by the seaside to reach, wherever the beach house was. I followed beside Johnny closely, being absolutely clueless since I have yet to look around the place when we came. It’s only our first day. Can’t expect me to be exploring it immediately. I needed time to get comfortable. But Johnny clearly didn’t get that memo.
The moment the beach house came to view, loud chatters and laughter of glee could already be heard. There were many people hanging by the outdoor restaurant, which was made by colourful planks and decorated with fairy lights that illuminated the entire place beautifully, hung loosely from plank to plank that were placed far apart from each other as the roof, giving you the clearest view of the night sky. Some people were by the hammocks situated just beside it, and the actual beach house itself above the outdoor restaurant.
The place was jammed pack the moment we stepped in. Johnny had to hold my hand as we squeezed through the crowd. The reeked smell of alcohol and burnt barbecue entered my nose, making me scrunch it up the whole way till we entered the beach house. “I shouldn’t have come.” I said dryly to Johnny while he took me to meet his friends. “Go grab some food.” Johnny said as we ended up in front of a room. He opened the door, suddenly a bunch of low screaming was heard as they greeted Johnny. I stood behind him quietly, thinking that his tall figure would cover me.
“Who’s she?” One of them asked. I mentally sighed as Johnny pulled me out from hiding behind his back. “Just a friend I had to drag here to enjoy herself. Isn’t that right?” Johnny said with a playful tone. I threw a sharp glare at him in a split second and turned to the group of guys that were sitting around the large bed, forcing a smile and nodding my head. “Enjoy yourself. Cause’ I’ll be leaving the moment I get my food.” With that, I left to head over to the food pantry.
After zooming my way through the crowded area of the beach house, I finally made it out at the restaurant. I walked to the lines of tables that were filled with food. Barbecued food and desserts. I guess this was a positive decision to come here. I get free food after all. I grabbed a plate from the side and placed practically one of every food that was available till my plate was full. I got myself a cup of iced cold lemon tea and removed myself from the chaotically crowded area.
When I stepped out of the place, I actually didn’t know where to go. I stood there for a moment, food on one hand and drink on the other. My eyes scanned the scenery in front of me. It was just the beach with nothing else on sight. I licked my lips and my legs began to move. I didn’t know where I was going, but I’ll go anywhere that’ll bring me away from all this.
My legs ended up taking me to the rocks at the end of the beachside. I climbed up after placing my food at the top. I sat down and got comfortable, letting my legs dangle freely over the edge. I took in a deep breath, taking in the smell of the sea air that cleared my nose and put me at ease instantly. I looked up to the night sky, my hand reaching for a chicken and took a bite.
The sky that had very few stars to be seen was dark, a blank sky of nothingness. The sea however reflected the light of the moon, the waves glistening under the moonlight each time it hits the surface. Not to mention the soothing sounds of the waves crashing against the rocks below me. “Mind if I join you?”
I flinched and turned around immediately at the voice behind me. I didn’t give a reply and instead inspected him up and down. He had blue hair, which I found was weird at first, but I realised that it went well with his face that was extremely attractive, and seemed to be around my age. He’s wearing a plain white loose tee with black jeans and boots, the entire outfit making his perfectly proportioned body prominent as well as his bright blue hair to stand out.
I have yet to given a reply, too caught up with looking at the stranger as he simply shrugged and take a seat beside my food and drink, my eyes following him with every move. “I’m assuming you came from the party.” He said, eyes staring down on the food. I nodded my head silently. “Just wanted some freah air.” I replied.
I grabbed my drink and take a sip, sighing softly as I swallowed. “Were you from there too?” He laughed and nodded his head. “Since evening. Everyone’s currently drunk and crazy. Just didn’t feel like putting up with that.” He hugged his knees close to his chest, chin resting on his forearm. “How long have you been here?” I took a bite of my chicken and quickly swallowed it down to answer him. “It’s only my first day. I’m staying till summer break’s over.” The boy hummed in reply.
“Same, actually.” Although I had my eyes fixated at the sky, I couldn’t help but take quick glances at him, his eyes being covered by strands of his blue hair and his sharp jawline that could possibly cut through anything. I noticed how he kept his eyes on my food, though he wasn’t trying to make it obvious. “You can have some.” I said, downshifting to the food.
He smiled softly, looking up at me. “Thanks.” He whispered before taking a snack at random and placing it in his mouth. “Is this your first time coming here?” He questioned. I puckered my lips. “Yeah. I mean of course I went to the beach before just not staying here for two months.” I kept silent, thinking of what else to say. I noticed how he was looking at me, as if fully attentive to my words.
“Johnny pulled me in on this, saying I should enjoy a different environment rather than the air of the city breathing down my throat and suffocating me.” I added on, saying exactly what Johnny told me before coming here and looking down to my legs that swayed lightly in the wind. “You mean Johnny Suh?” My brows furrowed as I looked to him. “You know him?”
“Yeah. He’s friends with my brother Jaehyun.” He lets out a weak laugh. “My mother forced me to follow him here to enjoy myself. I’m not a big fan of...” He turned around and motioned his hand lazily to the beach house. “That.”
“Guess we’re here for the same reasons and share the same opinion.” We kept quiet for some time, letting the silence get comfortable between us. Funny how I didn’t feel the slightest bit of awkwardness next to him, as if we’d be able to never know each other yet still feel like we have since forever like the closest of friends do. The cold wind blew gently against our skin, only our light breathing and munching to be heard.
I didn’t know what time it was, nor did I care. But whoever this guy was, he somehow made me want to stay here for longer that I needed.
I didn’t see him at all after that one night. I ended up having to go home myself since Johnny came back to the trailer the next day extremely hungover when he rang the doorbell annoyingly at seven in the morning. Two weeks have passed. And the stranger never left me mind. Not because of how he looked, though that was one of the reasons, but because of the the fact that I felt the sudden comfort when I was with him. It was just one night. A mere few hours. And we were just there. A little chit chat here and there followed by long minutes of silence. But it didn’t feel bad at all.
“Where are you going?” I asked, seeing Johnny wear his leather jacket while walking over to where I was at, once again on sitting comfortably on the couch for my movie night. “To see my friends. What else? I’m not a homebody like you.” He rolled his eyes at me, going to the kitchen counter to grab his wallet. “Hey, John?” I suddenly asked, curious about something.
He turned around and hummed in question. “Are you friends with a guy named Jaehyun?” His eyes widened slightly and nodded his head. “I do. Funny you mentioned him. I’m meeting him at the beach house later.” His face slowly turned into a mischievous one. “Why? You wanna meet him?” I squinted my eyes at his assumption. “No. I’m just...” I trailed on, but never got to think of an answer, not knowing how to explain to Johnny that I wanted to meet the boy that I knew absolutely nothing about.
“Asking for a friend.” Johnny smacked his lips. “Tell her he’s unavailable until she gets my approval.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “What a friend.” I commented in a sarcastic manner. “I’ll head out too.” I said, grunting as I rose from the couch. “And where are you going?” Johnny asked curiously. “Hoping to enjoy myself.” I said, my lips forming a thin line as I went to get ready. If Jaehyun’s there, could his brother be as well?
By the time I finished getting ready, Johnny has already left and I assumed he did a long time ago. I shrugged and left the trailer. I made my way to the beach house. It was still as lively as ever. I did make occasional trips there for the food since they were in fact still delicious. I assumed they were about to have another party. It was already evening. Once again my legs didn’t know where to go and made the unconscious decision of taking me to the rocks.
As if miracle had dawned on me, I was surprised to see him sitting there, his back facing me while he held a guitar on his lap with a small notebook and pencil beside him. I silently walked up to him and sat down, legs crossed. He didn’t say anything for a moment when he noticed me. “We meet again.” He simply said, trailing his eyes from his guitar and to me. I chuckled and smiled softly. “Indeed, we have. My legs just carried me here.” I lied, placing my hands on my thighs as I thought about how he has never left my mind since that night.
“What are you doing?” I asked, jerking my head to the guitar that sat comfortably on his lap. “Writing a song.” He said, smiling gently back at me. I probably didn’t notice this that night since it was dark and I didn’t get a clear view of his face, but his smile was effortlessly beautiful. It made his whole face glow and he didn’t even have to smile fully. My heart did a leap, quickly my mind captured his face, his bright blue fluffy hair that moved in the strong winds of the day, his nose and his lips, lightly tinted pink that looked soft and smooth.
He began to strum on his guitar, making gentle and calming sounds flow into my ears. “Being here gives me inspiration.” He grabbed his notebook from the side, writing down something that I couldn’t take a peek of since his head covered the page. “Are you free today?” He suddenly asked, looking up to me and closing the notebook shut with his fingers clasping it. I hummed in reply, my mind starting to wonder why he would ask that out of the blue. “Well I actually have a movie night to get to but it’s not important.” It used to be until you asked, I thought to myself.
“Oh then it’s fine. You should enjoy your movie night with your friend.” He blurted out quickly, shaking his head and letting out a weak chuckle, facing forward to the sea. I widened my eyes and shook my head vigorously, my hands doing the same in front of me chest. “No! I’m fully free. I meant a movie night with myself.”
“I’m fully free.” I repeated again, slowly as a way to reassure him while hoping that I’d get to spend some time with him tonight.
We ended up having a small picnic, ordering two boxes of pizza while we sat by the seashores, the waves just hitting inches away from us where the sand as still dry. “The sunset’s pretty.” I whispered, looking up at the beautiful shades of red till yellow that painted the sky.
“Have you made any friends here yet?” He asked, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite. I sighed quietly, my chest puffing up ever so slightly. “I only have Johnny, but he’s always hanging out with his friends so.” I cut of, not needing to finish the full sentence. “You?” I questioned him. He gave the same reply, sighing. “Never really got along with anyone here.”
“But you’re getting along well with me.”
“Then I guess that’s a first.”
The two of us laughed. It felt nice. This whole thing. Again we were met with silence. It’s as if that day was repeating itself, only in a different setting. What was it about this that had drawn me in so deep? The peace that soothed me just from doing this, just by having him next to me. He’s a complete stranger. I forgot about asking his name, he never bothered asking me for mine either. We were just... there, admiring each other’s unknown presence. We didn’t bother digging into knowing who we are, we just had to have each other to feel that state of serenity.
This time we got to chat a little while longer. I got to find out that he was staying here for two months as well, just like me. He told me he liked writing songs a way to express how he feel, unsaid words that no one would understand if he were to say it normally. “Then what about the song you are writing now? What’s it about?”
He retrieved his eyes back to the sunset, which colours were slowly losing their force to welcome the night. “It’s a work in progress. It doesn’t have a specific meaning to it either. I’m using my time spent here fully to know what to write, which is why I’m planning to add in new lyrics when I feel like it till the end of this trip.” I hummed in reply. Though I didn’t fully understand what he meant or what he was doing that for, I carried on with it anyways, wanting to hear his voice that never really broke the silence, but settled nicely in between.
“What do you think it’s going to be about?” That rhetorical question had him off guard. He didn’t answer, staring into blank space thoughtfully. “I’m not sure. But I somewhat have an idea.” He suddenly took out something out of his pocket, realising that it was his notebook and pencil from last time. He was quick to open a page and scribbled something down. His handwriting was messy and unrecognisable which made me frown slightly since I was curious as to what he wrote.
“Sorry. Something popped up in my mind for my lyrics. I had to write it down since I’m scared I’ll lose it.” He said, cracking a smile. “Can I hear it once it’s finished?”
“I think you’ll be the only person to ever hear it.”
It was three in the morning. Johnny was peacefully sleeping above me while I’m wide awake, my mind never wanting to put me to rest as the very day from years before kept repeating itself in my head. And each time it did, I felt the feelings that came with it as well like it was the first time.
Being restless and wanting something to shoot me flat out, I decided to head to the twenty four hour supermarket Johnny and I went to when we had to buy groceries for dinner. When I reached, I stood in front of the entrance, clueless. Again I didn’t know what I came here for. I just wanted to get anything that’ll take my mind off it. I walked in, and there was barely anyone to be seen. Only the cashier who seemed to be sleeping on his stool. I took quiet steps, not wanting to disrupt his sleep since I knew how hard it was working the night shift, especially as a high school student.
I grabbed one of the worn out yellow baskets from the stack beside the counter and went straight for the chips aisle with the mentality of “Just get whatever you want and indulge yourself in it till sunrise.” I ended up dropping two bags of chips, a whole bunch of milk chocolate bars, specifically Cadburry and KitKat. I wasn’t too scared about them melting since it’s always extremely cold here at night.
I wondered around the supermarket, thinking of what else I could get. I ended up going to the wine aisle, rows and rows of different kinds wine bottles that I’ve never seen or heard of. I wasn’t like those high schoolers that gets drunk every weekend so I didn’t have the widest knowledge on it. The only one I could recognise was the one that Johnny’s friends bought once when they had a sleepover at our house. Me being curious I tried it with the tiniest of drops the bottle had left after they went to sleep. I remembered it to taste fine and didn’t have an impact on me at all since my intake of it was just mere drops.
I grabbed it off the shelf with a lazy hand but gripped onto properly when I forgot for a moment that the bottle was heavy. I placed it inside the basket that was at the end of the aisle when headed for the cash register. “ID?” He asked after scanning the rest of the items and placing them into a plastic bag.
“Here.”
I flinched and jumped around. I was met with his body close to mine. I leaned back in shock, my eyes protuberant at the sudden appearance of him. “What are you-”
He handed the cashier his ID. “Thanks dude.” He said, handing me the bottle of wine while he carried the plastic bag. He looked down on me, raising a soft smile. ‘Let’s go.” He held my wrist and walked me out of the supermarket. When we got out I was met with the cold air. I was too lazy to wear a jacket and now I’m somewhat regretting about leaving the trailer with just my sweater. “And how did you end up here?” I asked with curiosity, stopping after we walked a few steps. “I wanted to buy some midnight snacks.” He then lifted the plastic bag in front of him. “But I guess I don’t need to do that.”
I chuckled, glaring at him and faking my exasperation. “It’s not meant for you.” I joked, hugging the bottle of wine in my arms as I walked with him catching up and matching my steps beside me. “The rocks?” He asked, head tilted as he sped up in front me and began walking backwards. “You know it.”
We were at the rocks again, same place, same atmosphere. “Are you going to offer me food like you did last time at the party?” He questioned me in a cheeky tone, a soft giggle following after. I adverted my attention from the sky and to him. He was wearing a thick grey hoodie, hood on that covered his face, which made me sad for a moment, not being able to admire his face.
“Should I?” I asked back with a slight smirk, digging out a Cadbury bar from the bag and opening it. It still felt cold to the touch. Before wanting to take a bite, I sighed playfully and handed it to him. “There.” He looked down at it for a moment. Instead of dipping down to take a bite, he held my thing wrist, his fingers curling around it gently with his cold palm against my skin. That simple touched sent an electric shock throughout my whole body, as if he’s a lightning that had struck me with the simplest of things.
He guides the chocolate bar in my hand to my lips, pushing at my bottom lip with the end of the bar. “It’s fine. It’s yours anyways.” He whispered, letting go and leaning back with his hands supporting him from behind. I blinked twice, one to my lips where the chocolate bar was still on my lips, and the other to him. My body froze and I couldn’t move. I simply stared at him as he closed his eyes. Soon the chocolate started to melt at the contact of my lips, making me take a bite and licking my bottom lip.
“So...” He started, head tilted back but his eyes fluttered open to look at me. “What were you doing at the supermarket buying junk food at three in the morning.” I glanced down at my phone when he mentioned the time. 3:20AM. Why does time move by slowly when I’m with him? It feels as if the world’s telling me to enjoy such moments like these while I can. It was kind enough to slow down time for me.
I didn’t give an answer, my mind going back and forth as I contemplated on whether to tell him. In the end, I did. It’s not like he’ll remember what I say anyways. “Today’s the day my first love broke up with me.” I confessed, smacking my lips and nodding my head. “That’s... sad.”
With a chuckle, I bit down on the chocolate bar. “That’s not even half of what makes this day so depressing.” I sighed loudly, running a hand through my hair that got tangled due to the strong wind. “I found out that he wasn’t normal. He had a problem that didn’t allow him to feel anything. Pain, happiness... and also love.”
I looked to him. He had a blank expression. I couldn’t tell what he thought about it. Yet, he kept silent, in a way to tell me to continue if I had anything more to say. I exhaled sharply before resuming. “So he didn’t love me at all. Not a single drop of it. I remembered when he told his friend one night at an abandoned house that he never loved me. He never felt anything towards me. I was hiding behind a wall. I felt so stupid that I quietly removed myself from the house and ran to the farthest place I could go to.”
Unconsciously, my tears started to well up in my eyes, my vision starting to get blurry as I brought my hand up, fingers shaking tremendously as I took a bite of my almost-finished chocolate bar. “I couldn’t sleep since my mind kept making me think about. It’s not him that’s made me hate that day, but the fact that all the days before that were the happiest times of my life. So to find out that it was all fake...��
My voice began cracking under the pressure. I could feel it all coming at me in one go, in one giant wave. I broke down, my tears instantly flowing out like rivers as I covered my mouth, wanting to muffle out my cries. I suddenly felt an arm around my shoulders, pulling my body close as he began to embrace me, eventually wrapping both arms around me and letting me sink into his warmth. I gripped onto his hoodie and balled my fists, my face digging deeper into the fabric.
“Sh... It’s okay, it’s okay.” He whispered ever so softly as he placed his chin on top of my head and rubbed my back. “Johnny took me here knowing that. I guess he hoped that I won’t remember it while I’m here.” I croaked out, gulping and taking in deep breaths.
As I began to calm down, I started to think about how gentle he is. He hugged me as if I was a fragile sensitive baby that he had to protect at all costs. He hugged me as if giving me comfort was his only main purpose. His warmth and touch curled around me like a fluffy blanket, a place I’d never want to leave.
Though I was done crying, I stayed there in his arms that held me perfectly. He didn’t bother pulling away either, as if he too didn’t want to let go. “Do you want me to make you forget?” He asked softly, pulling away slightly with his hand still on my back while I had mine on his chest. I let out a weak chuckle. “Can you?”
He laughed for a short moment. “I’ll be...” He looked up thoughtfully. “Your fairy godmother.” He flashed a cheeky smile that got me to burst out laughing. “My fairy godmother? I’m not Cinderalla.”
“But I’ll give you a day like the ball night. I’ll grant you whatever you want, and we can do anything you’d like. How’s that sound?” I looked into his eyes after my laughter died down. His eyes were the softest thing I’ve seen in a person affer a long time. It was filled with gentleness and kindness, perhaps even love that could cover the entire world.
“Perfect.”
We planned to meet the next day at the rocks. We didn’t have a clear idea of what we’re going to do though we freed our entire day for this. But that’s the beauty of the idea, isn’t it? Having to wonder around without a clear goal in mind. Sailing in the ocean’s wave without a destination, and having the waves do its thing to take you to wherever it wants you to be.
He came walking towards me with a tropical button up and light washed jeans along with slippers. My eyes can never take themselves off his blue hair. It’s seriously the second thing to stand out the most other than his face. “Hey.” He called out, lifting a hand up to wave. I took a few steps to him, wearing a happy smile. “What should we do first?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You know this place better than me.” He chuckled nervously, rubbing his palm against the back of his neck while the other was shoved into the pocket of his jeans. “Mm I have plenty of nice places to show you.”
He leaned forward, meeting me at my eye level as our eyes locked sights. My heart started to race quickly and I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. Looking at him upclose, he really was more good looking that I thought he was. How did anyone this attractive even existed in the world? My stomach started churning out butterflies that fluttered uncontrollably and my eyes got wary, switching from looking at his one eye to the other.
“Can you handle it all in one day?” I blinked my eyes rapidly as his words hit me. Wanting to not show him my seemingly embarrassed face, I pushed him away by his arm, turning around. “Try me!” I shouted, laughing as I ran away. I placed my palms on my cheek. They were definitely burning. I scrunched up my face at the thought. I heard him running from behind, catching up to me quickly with an adorable giggle.
We ended up going to many places that day. He took me to places that I never even knew existed since I didn’t bother exploring far alone. Days and weeks flew by, our meetups began to be more spontaneous and impromptu. One moment one of us would be hanging out by ourselves and the other would suggest to go on a full blown adventure the next.
“You never tell me you had such dance moves!” I said, panting heavily as I placed both my hands on the sides of my hips to catch a breather. “I mean I do dancing as a side hobby to writing music.” He breathed out. I punched him on the arm, pouting with angry eyes. “I’m never playing with you again! You absolutely trashed me.” I grumbled, folding my arms. He laughed and held both my hands. “Don’t get all grumpy with me when you defeated me at the arcade hundreds of times.” He rolled in eyes in exasperation.
“Well you’re right. But you forced me to give you my plushies!” I shouted as he pulled my close with a tug of my wrists. “I’ll give them back once they starts to smell like me.” He gave off a playful wink as he giggled with mischief. I scoffed loudly and threw him a sharp glare. “Mm sure.”
“This cake is so...” “Fluffy!”
I didn’t even need him to finish my sentence. He read my mind as the two of us hummed in satisfaction, letting ourselves sink into the cake’s flavour and taste like a bath. “Thanks for giving me the idea to try the strawberry flavoured cake.” He said with immense greatfulness as he closed his eyes, a happy child-like smile plastered on his face.
“I’m surprised you never tried it despite coming here often. It’s my favourite flavour.” I smiled to myself and took a sip of plain water. With my lips still on the straw, I looked to him who looked so bright. “Can we get ice cream later?” I raised both my brows and gaped my mouth open. “We’re having cake and now you want ice cream?! You have such a sweet tooth.”
“I’ll treat you to strawberry ice cream.” I slammed my palm faced down on the table. “Deal.”
“You’re at a beach and you can’t even swim!” He shouted as he swam farther into the sea while I stood in the water that only came up my chest area. “Don’t leave me!” I cried out, watching him swim around happily while I was too scared to take another step that would lead me the water level rising up to my neck.
I turned around for a moment and when I looked back, he was gone. I didn’t know where he was but I simply assumed that he was swimming under water. I didn’t find this fun at all. He kept teasing me constantly while he forced me to change into a swimming costume that we had to buy today itself since I never thought of bringing one in the first place.
Just when I wanted to make my way back on the shores, I felt something grab my ankle. Out of pure shock and fear, I screamed at the top of my lungs and tried running away, which failed instantly as I fell into the waters. Scared, I scurried around trying to get my head above for air.
I was suddenly supported with a hand around my waist. He got out of the water, splashing some on me as he flicked his hair back. He pulled me closer, hands still around me waist with a look of worry in his eyes. “A-Are you okay? I’m sorry for scaring you like that.” His eyes were shaky as he looked my face. I stared back, placing my hands comfortably on his arms. I had to wrap my legs around his hips since I wasn’t tall enough to touch the sand.
“You’ll regret doing that once we get out of here.” I retorted, clinging onto his body since I was that scared. “Alright, alright. But I’m going to teach you how to swim. How can you not know?” We made our way back to the shore with him struggling to carry my body. I found it cute how he tried to mask the fact that he looked like dropping me with each step. “My family don’t go out doing stuff, you know? We’re just at home most of the time.”
“That’s a disappointment. Be glad that you got me to teach you basic survival skills.” I gaped my mouth open widely, scoffing. “Shut up.” I pushed him away by the chest only to have him come at me with his laughter, which only made me laugh in response.
How was it already my last two days here? Johnny reminded me to pack up my stuff before I left to meet him yet again. This time we promised to spend the entire day together, morning till night, never leaving the other’s side till the last minute.
“You’re leaving after me?” I questioned, head on his shoulder while his arm wrapped around my waist that sat perfectly. “Yeah.” He simply replied in a gentle voice, the two of us staring up to the night sky, looking at the stars that we spent pointing out and making up our own constellations with them.
“Hygge is still shining brightly.” I whispered, pointing upwards and drawing its made up constellation. “It’s shining because of how we’re at peace right now.” He brought a hand up to my head, carassing it lovingly as he threated his fingers through my hair, expertly getting rid of its knots.
“About the song...” I turned my head to him, humming. “I’ll have it done by tonight and sing it for you tomorrow before you leave.” I dug my face deeping into the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent that I grew to get used to very quickly during my stay here. “I’m glad I’ll finally be able to hear it. Can you still not tell me what it’s about?” I whined softly, putting on a frown that made him chuckle.
“You can figure that out instantly once I sing it to you so don’t worry. I’m not some philologist.” He slowly dipped in to plant a light kiss on the crown of my head, his lips staying there while I could only assume he had his eyes closed to take in one of our last moments together before we part ways.
The next day I went to the rocks first thing in the morning. He was sitting there, guitar in hand, his legs dangling over the edge. He wore his white tee again, resembling what he wore the first day I met him. I didn’t know why, but every moment I had with him kept reminding me of the first time we met. He came at me out of the blue, yet he didn’t need to do much to makd an impression that stuck on me.
“Alright. Play it now, play it now!” I said, immediately after sitting down next to him. He turned his gaze to me, laughing as he flashed his eye smile that I absolutely adore. “Jeez calm down first!” He strummed on his guitar, taking a moment to check if everything’s ready. He then looked to me, his wide smile growing into a softer and smaller one as he began to play.
The more I listened, the more I realised what he meant by the fact that I’ll know what it was about. Or rather, who. It was about me, about us. He sang about our trips and outings, and everything about me. From being the most beautiful being to the weirdest, he sang about it all. My heart ached in the most amazing way possible. It fluttered as I felt the love and sincerity expertly imbued into each note, each word he sang. He didn’t break his eyes off me either, as if opening my soul with his voice that only drew me in deeper into his being that I knew all too well, but also didn’t.
I knew him, head to toe, front to back. I knew him well like my favourite book where the plot, characters, the plot twists were all etched in my brain. I didn’t even need to think to know what happened next. That’s how much I knew him in the span of two months. Yet, I never knew basic information about him. His name, age, where he went for education. We silently decided not to tell that information of ours to the other, simply thinking that we’re strangers that have known each other for years.
That was the last time I saw him. After that day till the moment Johnny drove our trailer away. He never left my mind and it was only then when the beach left my view that I started to feel the regret of not asking him who he was. Why was I so stupid not to ask? For forgetting that we’ll part ways and never meet again unless we had some form of connection. Why did we spend time together in our made up dream thinking that for a moment fate would bring us together when we’ve completely forgotten about reality hitting us right after?
I was at the lecture hall for my art major. It felt as if a whole year went by just from listening. I glanced down at my phone. Ten more minutes. On top of my coursework which I had to hand in by week nine, there was also going to be an exam on the study of visual arts. I hope to at least get some rest before I push through how many all-nighters just to get it all done and over with.
Finally our professor ended his lecture. The lecture hall now filled with sounds of everyone keeping their materials and heading straight for the door. I decided to hold back for awhile, not wanting to have to push myself through the large crowd trying to get out through the small doors. Majority of the people have already exited after I scrolled through my phone and just as I was about to stand up to leave, I heard a loud slam on my table. I instantly turned to it. There was a sticker on my table. I looked up and scanned my surroundings, wondering who pasted it there. A guy in a black hoodie with his hood on zoomed past me at the back since I sat at the last row, making his way to the exit and leaving.
I adverted my attention back to the weird sticker that was being pasted on my table by God knows who. I was able to peel it off from the table since the adhesive on it wasn’t strong. I gripped it in between my index and middle finger, bringing it up close to my face. “DNYL...?” I whispered to myself, reading the letters that were large and in a red cursive font that was dripping from the bottom in a heart. I blinked my eyes rapidly, proceeding to turn it around so that I could look at it from all angles. There’s nothing else, nothing to tell me who gave the weird sticker to me.
I stuck it on the back of my phone, not knowing exactly where to place it. Throughout the day I kept glancing at it with a bunch of questions surfacing each time. I was now back at the dorms. The first thing I did was opened up my computer to search up whatever the hell DNYL stood for. But nothing popped up. I started to think it was something that’s within the school. Some kind of club? Or an organisation?
I’ve thought about it for so long that the time I had to rest had already passed by and now I had to start work. “What the hell even is this?” I questioned myself yet again before throwing my phone to my bed and began taking out my art materials to resume my coursework.
The next day I was sitting in the hall before lecture started, my eyes glued to the door as I tried to find whoever that gave me the sticker. They had to be taking this course to be here anyways. But, the longer I stared at the door, the longer I thought to myself “Why did I even think that he’ll wear the same hoodie as yesterday?” I shook my head, placing chin on the palm of my hand as I let out a quiet sigh. A few poeple were wearing black hoodies, but they weren’t like the one I saw yesterday. They didn’t have that body type either.
I scratched my head, fully distressed about this trivial matter that I shouldn’t even be questioning much about, especially when I had a whole workload of things to do that is way more important than some sticker. Yet, my curiosity could never seem to shake it off. Nothing has happened after that. No stickers, weird guy, nothing. However, my senses were always on the edge, ready to catch the person if I were to ever encounter myself with the same sticker.
Due to my roommate suddenly having a party at our dorm with her group of friends, I decided to head over to the study café, not wanting to be stuck in my room and having to deal with the noise from outside. During my time there, hours have already passed by. It has always been like this whenever I do art. So much time yet so little accomplishments. Luckily I was able to complete what I wanted to for tonight and decided that it was a good time to look for books that could help me with my research for my study of visual arts assignment which would eventually lead to my exam.
I head down to the first floor where the library was. It was dark and secluded with only the lamp from the desk being the only thing that illuminated a small part of the library. I took silent steps to the bookshelves, my eyes scanning up and down with my finger following it as I tried finding a book. I was about to switch to the other side of the shelve when something at the side caught my eye. I stopped in my tracks and turned a sharp ninety degrees.
Just below the sign that indicated the books’ genre, there was a familiar shape. Slowly, I took out my phone and turned on the flashlight. As expected, it was the heart shaped sticker again. It had the same design, same letters. This time however, it looked worn out, like it’s been here for more than a year with his edges fraying like someone tried to tear it off, along with the discolouration.
“What even...” I whispered to myself. Upon further inspection with squinted eyes, there was something that resembled a quote that was placed along the rim of the sticker. “Don’t.... your. What does it say?” I couldn’t help but wonder, the fraying of the edges mot giving me a chance to even guess what the quote was.
With this new information, I laying on my bed, still in my pyjamas and not wanting to leave my bed till afternoon since I had no classes for the day. I turned my phone to the back where the sticker was. There wasn’t any quote on it like the one at the library. Whenever I tried thinking of possibilities of what the full quote could mean, I could only assume “Don’t Need Your Love.” to be the only plausible answer.
“Hey, Sierra?” I asked the moment she came walking in after she was done showering. She turned around, the small towel draped over her head while drying her hair. “Is there perhaps... a fraternity here called DNYL?” She turned to me, eyebrows furrowed. “You don’t know about what happened?”
I copied her expression. “What do I not know?” She turned to the full length mirror beside her bed as she grabbed her earrings off her dressing table. “My senior said it used to be a fraternity for anyone that doesn’t want to be in love. Basically for those who’ve been through heartbreaks and shit or anything related to love that they don’t want to associate themselves with.”
“But the college thinks that it’s not something to be promoted so they disbanded the fraternity.” Sierra shrugged while wearing her earrings. Her eyes trailed from herself and to me, the reflection of myself looking at her. “Why’d you ask though?”
I gulped, shaking my head and cracking a soft smile. “It’s nothing.” I whispered, looking down to my phone case with the sticker. I forced a smile, looking back up and seeing Sierra grab her bag. “Have fun during lecture.” She laughed and nodded her head. “Have fun resting while I suffer.” With that, she left the dorm.
I went on with my day and decided to not be lazy and actually make my own breakfast instead of ordering the unhealthy McDonald’s breakfast like I do every morning. At the kitchen, it felt quiet. Too quiet for my liking, with only the sound of the pan sizzling the moment I added the pancake batter to be heard. It wasn’t like the silence at the beach. The silence I shared with him. Nothing could compare to that. I felt lonely, and distant.
My mind slowly trailed back into my memories of him. I began to remember the song he sang to me on my last day, remembering the tune and every lyric. Like I said, he never left my mind. Him and everything that went along with the trip was just filed in the back of my mind. It was only now that it began to surface as I started to feel the emptiness of his absence. Not being able to bear it, I turned to my phone and switched on the radio, specifically our college’s radio studio that has their own podcast airing every morning. I never really bothered listening to it till now.
“Alright, we’re going to have a short break so let’s enjoy this song called Don’t Need Your Love by NCT DREAM together before we talk about our next topic.” I didn’t pay attention to his words at first, it came in one ear and went out the other, being too focused on getting my pancakes to not burn. Due to my lack of cooking experience, this part of getting it to cook really got me anxious and on full concentration mode.
The song began to play, and it was cathy. The rhythm had my bobbing my head while I had my eyes cautiously looking at the pancakes. You think it’s my heart you’re holding. You still think you’re all that I need. I placed my pancake onto my plate, getting ready to make the next. The song began to pick up its speed, the drop coming in and making me bob my head harder due to the addictive nature it had before it hits the chorus.
I don’t need your love. Don’t need it. Don’t need it, need it no. And that’s when it hit me. The title of the song, the lyrics. Why haven’t I noticed it at all? I turned to my phone, looking at the screen that showed the same heart shaped logo the sticker had. I gaped my mouth open, immediately picking up the phone as I brought it close to my ear. I’m definitely hearing it correctly. I brought my phone in front of me. The same logo the fraternity had.
Millions of questions came up. If the fraternity doesn’t exist anymore, then why did they suddenly approach me by giving me the sticker? Were they trying to recuit new people to revive the status of the fraternity? And how was this song even playing if the college didn’t allow it to be promoted?
I'm going crazy, please, because of you. I can't sleep. What are you thinking? No, don’t say it. Aside from you. I have many other things to lean on. I don't wanna go back. My eyes widened at the voice who sang that part. It was him. It’s definitely him. It was his voice. I remembered it vividly from when he sang to me at the rocks. I couldn’t have been mistaken.
I turned off the stove, adverting my attention back to the music as I tried to listen to the rest of the song to see if I could pick up his voice again. Unfortunately, I didn’t. That was the only part I got to hear before the music stopped and the guy’s voice came back. “Um actually there was some error. That song wasn’t supposed to be played. Uh l-let’s listen to Long Flight that was written by our very own student council president Lee Taeyong, shall we?” Just like that, the music began playing.
I stood there, completely frozen. “What just happened...?” I whispered to myself, slowly putting my phone back down on the table. I lowered the music as it settled in the background while my mind went deep into my thoughts. “I couldn’t have heard it wrong. I’m sure it was him. I’m not going crazy, am I?” I paced back and forth in the kitchen, thinking if I was actually going crazy from desperately trying to figure out who he was.
I tried pushing the thought away. But it always came back no matter what I was doing, casually creeping back into my mind. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I had to know. I had to be sure. I grabbed whatever belongings I needed and headed to campus.
I brisk walked my way over to the recording studio where supposedly they recorded live for the radio. I pushed the door open, immediately greeted with the head of the radio station team, Moon Taeil, looking at me while sitting on the black swivel chair, legs crossed. “Excuse me?” He questioned, head tilted just a few degrees as his eyes looked me up and down. It felt as if I was being scrutinised by his stare.
“Um I’m sorry but I just have a quick question.” I slowly closed the door behind me and walked towards him. Looking around, there were the other members of the team sitting down at a table and discussing something. “And what’s that?” Taeil asked again with a firm tone which sent a shiver down my spine. “The song you played for the radio. Don’t need your love? Uh who was it written by... And who sang it?”
Taeil licked his lower lip, breaking his eyes off me for a moment as he looked around with uncertainty. He eventually placed both his elbows on the arm rest, arms standing up with his fingers interlocking just below his chin. “It’s written by our alumni Harvey. And who it’s sung by, I honestly don’t know. They just called themselves NCT DREAM and submitted the song anonymously for it be played.”
He lets out a loud sigh for a pause, pursing his lips into a thin line. “But I got a message form the student council that it shouldn’t be played so I had to stop it. It was a good song though.” He shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. “Oh... I see.” I whispered softly, looking down to my feet. “Is that all you need, dear?” He asked, a soft smile forming on his face as I shot my head back up from the flood. “A-Ah yes. Thank you so much.” I rushed out the door.
On my way back I kept thinking about what Taeil said, trying to connect the dots with whatever knowledge I’ve gathered. Yet, I still had other questions that were yet to be answered. Who is NCT DREAM? And why have I never heard of them during my time here in college? I wasn’t that person who’s not updated on whatever’s going on on campus anyways. Was playing that song part of their plan to promote their unofficial fraternity?
I was completely distracted for the days that followed after. I couldn’t fully concentrate while studying, the song being replayed in my head over and over again, specifically his part. The most impossible possibility came to my mind. “Is he in this college?” I lifted my head up from the papers, my eyes narrowing down to one spot on the wall. I laughed to myself and shake my head, taking a quick sip of my coffee.
“Don’t be stupid. Coincidences like that only ever happens in movies.” I looked to my phone. Slowly, I reached my hand out for it and flipped it over, my eyes meeting with the bright red sticker. “Can you please stop stressing over this? Get your priorities straight!” I half-shouted, groaning as I dropped my head on the table. My eyes began welling up and my vision got blurry as I thought of wanting to hear his voice sing me to sleep, my tears streaming down my face in a matter of seconds.
Sierra and I went our separate ways to our building departments after walking to campus together. I entered the lecture hall. It wasn’t empty as I thought it would be. More people seemed to come earlier today. Like any other day, I paid attention to my professor, taking down notes and listening attentively yet dying slowly as each minute passes by.
“Don’t forget your coursework is due in a week’s time!” He shouted one last time as everyone made their way out instantly after lecture ended. I sighed tiredly, getting up from my seat and walking to the door. This time I decided to just go with the crowd, the desperation of wanting to go back to the dorms and take a nap before driving myself insane through the night with my workload again.
I was squished between people with them bumping into me every which way. I began regretting I chose this decision. But perhaps not when I suddenly felt a hand being placed on my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder. There wasn’t anyone that looked like they relied their hand back. I tilted my head down to where they placed their hand. It was the sticker. I instantly ripped it from my jean jacket after I finally got out of the mess. I observed the crowd at walked past after leaving the hall. None of them looked suspicious in any way.
“If you’re interested, head over to the abandoned play room in basement one today once you finish lecture.” I read the note that was written over the sticker. With both brows raised, I turned back to the doors, which was now empty and secluded. I instantly nodded my head with determination as my curiosity started to fuel, walking to basement one.
Making my way there, more emotions began to dance around in my heart. I felt the excitement and hopefully satisfaction since I’ll finally be able to know whatever the heck that has been going on and I wouldn’t need to feel the stress of pondering about it any longer too. However, I also felt nervous. I didn’t know the reason for this fraternity disbanding. What if there was something more dangerous behind it? What seemed to weird me out the most is the fact that this fraternity is somehow connected to the stranger from the beach, which was probably the biggest reason for my eagerness to find out.
I’ve only been to the basement once or twice to get free art materials that have no longer been used. It was dark, secluded and eerie. The coldnees wasn’t making my journey there any better either. I got closer to the play room. The sign was glowing a bright yellow and illuminated the surrounding area. There was also light coming from the play room through the glass door. I licked my dried lips nervously and placed my hand on the door handle, entering with my heart thumping out of my chest.
The moment I entered, I was met with the eyes of four people. Six guys, to be exact. They stared at me, and I stared back. It was complete silence while I had a staring competition with them. “Ah! You’re here!” I shook my head and broke eye contact with them, my attention adverted to the voice. It was another guy who came out from a door that led to another room I assumed.
“Look I’m not interested in joining. Just curious about something.” I put it out there immediately before they tried to do anything that’ll persuade me. All of them gave weird looks. A look that said “You didn’t even bother giving us a try.” The guy walked up to me, bringing his hand up in front of me. “I’m Haechan.” He introduced himself with a bright smile, just like the sun.
“_____.” I forced a smile. Though I was here for answers, I didn’t expect to be in the presence of five guys. If I’m being honest, they did look familiar. Students that I’ve probably seen only once then never again. “Who was the one that gave me the sticker?” I immediately turned to the others sitting on the couch. Haechan placed his hands on his hips and scoffed. “Jeno did you seriously used the sticker method?”
Another guy that had a smaller figure but looked tall with blonde hair gaped his mouth open, looking to his mates as they all stared down on him with looks of disappointment. “I did it like how Harvey recruited us.” Jeno retorted nonchalantly. “But that’s not a good- Urgh who am I kidding we had other jobs to do anyways” Another guy came to view. He was another blonde head. “Guys! Stop the fighting.” Haechan shouted beside me. His scream making everyone flinch, especially one who almost fell off from the couch.
“Can someone please explain what is this unofficial fraternity and why was I even pulled into this mess?” “Renjun go.”
“Huh?” Haechan looked to another that had a smaller figure than Jeno. “Explain.” He arched a brow and scoffed. “You’re getting a beating from me later for bossing us around just cause’ you’re the head.” Renjun rolled his eyes and stood up, going to what seemed like a projector and turning it on. “Oh before we get to that, that’s Jisung and Chenle, Biology department. Renjun, Psychology department. Mark, Science department. Jeno, art department and I’m part of the History department. Then...” Haechan introduced them one by one, pointing to each of them but stopped, making me look up at him with an arched brow.
“Jaemin’s not here again?” Mark asked, pinching the nose of his bridge while shaking his head. “Don’t tell me-”
“He’s either sleep deprived, going crazy or staying up for another three days with his fifth cup of four shots espresso coffee.” Jeno finished Haechan’s sentence easily. I gaped my mouth open, scoffing in disbelief. “F-Four shots of espresso?!” I half-shouted, my hand on its way to shut my jaw close.
The room was filled with sighs and groans of disappointment due to their mate’s reason for his absence in the play room. “Who’s Jaemin...?” I asked curiously. “I swear he comes to our meetings like never.” Chenle grumbled, clearly ticked off. I took in my surroundings. The tension suddenly became tough and firm after the so-called “Jaemin” was mentioned. I began to wonder what was it about this person that got his members to be so worked up other than not attending the “fraternity’s” meetings.
“Wait. Jeno’s in the art department?” I turned to the guy who had his head phone, looking at his phone before shooting back up to me. “Oh, yeah. I am.” I clicked my tongue. “Never knew you existed till now.” Jeno placed his phone on the table before meeting my eyes again. “Means I’m doing my job well.”
“I’ll force him here next meeting. Anyways, he’s in the architect department. He usually needs to stay up to complete his assignments. Explains his extreme addiction for coffee and staying up for days on end.” Haechan made known, trying to sound reassuring. I simply nodded my head, turning to the screen that projected a video that has yet to be played. It showed someone standing on a stand, leaning into the small mic in front of him. Haechan nodded his head to Renjun, signaling the video to be played. With a press of a button, the video began.
“Mic check 1,2,1,2. Can you hear me?” He had blonde hair and wore a red jacket. “Dear fellow students. The sun is shining, it’s a beautiful day. So the reason I’ve turned on this mic today is to talk about the coolest club on our campus. DNYL, Don’t Need Your Love.” He motioned his hand to the screen that showed their logo, along with a group photo of people I didn’t recognise.
“Now, for those that have been dumped, had a breakup or dealing with a broken heart, this is the perfect club for you.” He paused for a moment, scanning his eyes over the crowd as if wanting to engage each and every one of them.
“Have you been cheated on? Do you feel down from all this unrequited love? Are you tired of waiting for that call from your ex? I definitely am.” A bright smile began to crack on his face. “Well, there’s no more of that. You don’t need any more worries and simply let it all go with us. So let’s just have a great time. DNYL, come join our club, and let’s have some fun!” Just like that, the video ended.
“That’s Harvey, our senior.” Haechan pointed his finger to the guy on screen before dropping his hand back down on his side. “The club immediately got disbanded. His batch was the last one to have the club being official.”
“We want to carry on with his club. He recruited all of us, randomly pasting stickers on our desks and chests before he graduated, hoping we’d rise it up again.” Haechan folded his arms as he explained further. I nodded my head as the information sank in. “Then... Why am I being recruited?” I asked the most important question.
Renjun walked up to me, standing firm with placing his weight on one leg, hands shoved into his jean jacket. “Because we’ve noticed how you seem to look like a sore loser during the whole of your time here.”
“Renjun! That’s rude.” Jisung cried out, shaking his head with a big frown. Renjun simply shrugged at his friend’s comment. “Bold of you to assume I’m being a sore loser because of love.” I cocked a brow, which resulted in Renjun looking away for a moment scoffing before locking his intimidating eyes onto mine. “Then why are you a sore loser?”
I couldn’t reply. I was fully taken aback. He was right. Ever since I began college, though my life has been fine for the most part, I was lost. In a daze, in a blank space of nothingness. As if I was being put in a huge desert with no map and no guidance. I didn’t bother making friends either. I had a neutral relationship with everyone in my major, but never one that I’d consider and actual friend. I was lonely. Too lonely to the point where I didn’t feel anything else. I was simply stagnant. And it was all because of him.
“That’s what I thought.” Renjun went back to the couch with a smug smirk on his face, plopping himself in between Chenle and Jisung. “But why have I never seen you guys before?” I questioned. “Because we’re trying to keep a low profile while promoting so the council wouldn’t catch us.” Chenle replied instantly. “Jaemin has no problem doing that. He’s holed up in his dorm twenty four seven. Literally.” Jisung commented.
“So.” Haechan turned to me sharply and confidently. I blinked my eyes rapidly at the sudden action. “Do you want to join us?” I looked around the room again. Everyone’s eyes staring at me with anticipating looks. I bit my lower lip. “I’m given time to make a decision, right?” Everyone turned their heads to each other and nodded with looks of reassurance and hope. Haechan placed a firm hand on my shoulder.
“The fact that you’re considering is already a huge thing for us.”
I was in deep thought late at night, sitting at my study table with the tip of my pen in between my lips as I bit down it, thinking long and hard about joining the club.
It seemed like a good place. Though it felt extremely intimidating, I picked it up from the get-go that they’re extremely close with each other, meaning that their love for the club is stronger than ever. Throughout, I couldn’t stop thinking of him. And the more I did, the more I began to realise that I’ve been holding onto someone that could possibly never cross paths with me ever again. I was holding on so tightly to the impossible, blinding myself with delusion to the point where I even considered the fact that he could be in this school.
I couldn’t be holding on forever. I had to let go. I needed to accept the fact that he’s someone I’ll meet once in a life time, that short period of time where that person has given me a heaven that could never stay forever. I’ll force myself to let go, leave it all behind, and move on.
Though I thought I already had my mind made up, I ended up staying in bed for the rest of the day. The plushie I won with him during the trip on one hand, my phone with Haechan’s contact number on the other, waiting for my thumb to press the call button and confirm my recruitment. I thought I could forget, but I never. It never went away, my memories of him. But it always made me crave for him when he’s not there, only making me suffer on the bitter end. I kept telling myself that maybe I’ll slowly let go when I join the club. I was having a battle in my mind, a whole warzone playing out as my contemplation settled comfortably in my mind as if it wasn’t doing any damage to me.
“Fuck this.” I whispered angrily to myself, lifting my body up slightly to throw the plushie under my bed, laying back down and giving Haechan a call. No turning back, I guess. Haechan told me to meet at the play room with the others right after our classes. They didn’t have an exact meet up time so whoever’s there first would chill and wait till the rest arrived.
I walked into the play room the next day after lecture. Seeing no one, I assumed I was the first one here. I decided to explore the play room for a bit and the first place I decided to go to was the room where Haechan came out from when I first met him. Entering the room, my jaw hung low, mouth open as I saw the sight before me.
It looked like a gaming cafe. There were arcade games on one corner, a lounging area with a comfortable looking couch with fluffy blankets and pillows, followed by smal shelf of books. There was even a large pantry on the left corner. The room was painted a bright muted yellow and the decorations made it look very aesthetically pleasing. “You like it?” I turned around, flinching slightly as Jisung came in and walked past me, holding a large box in his arms.
“Yeah. It’s quite cool actually.” I whispered, still at awe in the room I was in. I looked to Jisung who was at the pantry. He opened the box and it revealed a whole stock of small packet chips. He proceeded to take them out and place it in baskets on the pantry table. “Can I have one?” I asked. He threw me a packet, to which I had quick enough reflexes to catch in one hand.
“Looks like we’re the first ones here.” Jisung said after emptying out the box and shoving it below the table, grabbing one chip packet and opening it. “Mhm.” I replied, popping a chip in my mouth. “I’m surprised you accepted it in one day.”
I shrugged, walking to the couch and placing my tote bag down before taking a seat. Jisung followed behind me, sitting down on the empty space next to me. “I have my reasons.” I nodded firmly. I then turned to him. “If I may ask, why did you decide to join the club?” I questioned out of pure curiosity.
“Could say I have a rough time with relationships growing up. I always had crushes, people I fall for too easily. Had to constantly deal with unrequited love.” He pursed his lips into a thin line. “I actually had one girl in college that I liked. But when I found out she completely fooled me I had a breakdown at the back of the school.” Jisung took in a deep breath before continuing. “That was when Harvey came up to me and talked about DNYL. I have never regret joining.” He lets out a soft chuckle.
“I’m glad you’ve found your place here.” I complimented amicably. “I’m sure you’ll fit right in with us.” He flashed a kind and soft smile that didn’t make me hesitate to reciprocate the gesture. “Ah shoot!” Jisung rose up from the couch. I looked up at him with a surprised expression. “What’s wrong?”
“I need to drag Jaemin here.” Jisung groaned out loud, running a hand through his hair and ruffling it on the crown of his head. “Actually- I’ll just let Jeno handle him.” Jisung said. “But I’m craving for some coffee. Want me to get you anything?” I gave an eye smile in response. “Strawberry tea would be nice.” Jisung breathed a chuckle and downshifted his head. “Alright. Be right back!” Jisung ran to the door and exited, closing the door carefully and quietly.
I smacked my lips, my fingers unconsciously digging into the packet as I continuously shoved chips into my mouth like a machine. I finished it within minutes and threw it in the dustbin. Not knowing what to do, I decided to get my laptop out and finish whatever I can for my coursework. and doing more research. I realised that there was a speaker on the table and decided to use it, blasting hyped songs for me to vibe through my work.
“Jaemin!” Jeno shouted as he slammed the door to Jaemin’s dorm wide open. Jeno stared at Jaemin. He’s in his grey hoodie and sweatpants that Jisung assumed he never changed out of. He had cups and cups of empty Starbucks all laid across the table along with his stacks of paper. Jaemin had his body leaned against the easel where the large piece of paper that had his layout propped on it.
Jeno huffed, walking up to Jaemin and shaking his shoulder vigorously. “Jaemin, wake up. How long have you been like this?” Jeno asked worryingly. Jaemin fluttered his eyes open halfway, looking around lazily and rubbing his eyes before his friend of five years came to view. “Time check?” Jaemin whispered, closing his eyes back for a moment.
“Wednesday, five pm. Jaemin you’ve been up for days. Get some rest at the play room, will you?” Jeno pouted looking at his friend who was completely worn out to the core and obviously concerned for his health due to the amount of coffee he’s been indulging himself in for the past three days.
Jaemin sighed, pulling his hood down and looking at Jeno, forcing a sincere smile to make him look the slightest bit awake. “Can I skip today’s meeting? I can just sleep here.” Jaemin forced himself out of his uncomfortable position against the easel and went for his bed, dropping his almost lifeless body onto it and sinking into the sheets. Jeno sighed quietly, smacking his lips. “Alright. Please just sleep. And clean your damn room it reeks of coffee.”
Jaemin hummed in reply, slowly nodding his head while pulling his blanket over his body and getting comfortable. “I’m just about done with my project. Maybe two more weeks? Then I’ll be back to normal so tell them to not worry about me.” Jeno scoffed, walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge. “I think they’re more furious than worried, Nana. They kept complaining when you weren’t there yesterday.” Jaemin exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “How’s the promotion coming along?”
Jeno glanced upwards thoughtfully before answering. “It’s... I don’t know. We tried playing our song on college radio but Lee Taeyong called it off halfway and played his song instead. But! We have a new member.” Jaemin’s eyes shot open at the mention of new members. He looked at him, blinking his eyes rapidly. “How many?” “One.” Jeno quickly answered, making Jaemin let out a ‘tsk’ and closing his eyes back. “Just one? Harvey was able to recruit all of us in one go.”
“Tell that to jisung.” Jeno scoffed. “But I mean at least it’s a girl.” Jeno folded his arms and shrugged nonchalantly. Jaemin furrowed his brows. “Girl? Isn’t DNYL suppose to be an all boys club?” Jeno rolled his eyes at his friend’s comment. “Change of rules now that Haechan’s head. Plus, it’s not just the guys that have a rough time with relationships. Girls suffer too. And the club will help them.” Jaemin scoffed in reply. “He used the sticker method?” Jeno hummed in reply.
“And I wonder just what is the girl’s reason for joining the club.”
Jeno raised a brow at his friend, who now seemed to be wide awake and intrigued due to the conversation. “I mean barely know her enough to ask but maybe she will if all members come by.” “Yeah no.” Jeno groaned and rose up from the bed, making his way for the door. He turned to Jaemin, who already had his eyes closed with his chest going up and down soothingly
“Don’t continue being like this, Nana...” Jeno whispered, glancing to Jaemin one last before going out and closing the door behind him.
Once Jaemin heard the door close, he got up, sitting straight and leaning his back against the headboard supported by pillows. After staring into blank space for a moment, he slowly reached for his guitar that was propped beside his bed. He began to strum mindlessly while deep in thought.
Jaemin’s fingers got ready after he made sure that the guitar sat comfortably on his lap. He began to play a common tune, not knowing what song to play. But it didn’t take long for his fingers to play the tune of the song he wrote for her, as if they had a mind of its own. But he couldn’t sing it. It pained him too much that he never saw her again after that trip.
“Fuck I’m stupid.” Jaemin whispered after singing a lyric with a shaky voice, lips quivering with each word being sung out. He leaned his head back on the headboard, biting his lower lip hard to hold back his tears as he continued to strum, his being slowly crashing down and falling apart at the thought of her.
After about slightly more than half an hour later, Jisung came back with our drinks, followed by the rest of the members entering behind. “Thanks.” I said, taking the tea that Jisung handed out to me. Everyone gathered around in a circle around the couch, some jamming to the song I was playing. But I decided to stop it since I didn’t want to seem rude and have it as a distraction during our time together.
“Jaemin’s sleeping?” Renjun asked. Jeno nodded his head in reply, lips puckered. “He looked so drained and dead. He said that he’ll be done with his project in two weeks time so I guess he’ll be there by then.” Jeno said, leaning back and having his body supported with his two hands behind him.
“Don’t you think there’s something going on with him though?” Mark questioned, which suddenly led the room to complete silence for a split second before Jisung coughed to break it. “Well we don’t know for sure. Jeno, do you know?” All eyes turned to Jeno. I could only listen and take in information, not knowing the context behind the conversation.
“No. He doesn’t even want to tell me though I’ve been his friend for five years.” Jeno explained. “What’s wrong with Jaemin...?” I asked nervously, afraid if my question was too disrespectful or an invasion of privacy. The air that surrounded us was thick, as if everyone’s on edge and not thinking straight. It didn’t take me long to realise that Jaemin has always been a big factor of this club, having the ability to put his club in such a state even with his absence.
Haechan licked his lips, looking around as if trying to come up with a way to phrase his answer. “He... Ever since the start of college, we just feel as if he’s here, but also not.” Haechan paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath. “He never shared why he wanted to join this club. I mean clearly we want to know but we aren’t that nosy to the point where we want to force it out of him. We respected the fact that he didn’t want to share.”
“But we always felt that it was something that impacted him greatly because despite having us, it seems like he’s using work as a way to cope. Again explains his constant indulgence of coffee. He’s been quite closed off to us for a long time but he’s getting better... I guess.” Renjun added on. I could tell that the last part was filled with uncertainty, him not being fully satisfied with his explanation but refuses to add on any further. “He’ll come around. We can just hope. But for now...” Chenle trailed on, taking a seat next to me and wrapping a friendly arm around my shoulders. “Let’s have a fun welcome party for our new member.”
We ended up watching a movie. Specifically a scary movie after we ordered take out. “You guys are serious scaredy-cats!” Haechan laughed, taking a bite of his chicken and leaning forward closer to the TV screen while all of us had our eyes covered by the pillows we were holding up. Renjun smacked a pillow on Haechan’s head, making everyone laugh and have the room filled with lightness out of simple humour.
“Don’t act so brave, idiot.” Just then, a jumpscare came up, making everyone jump on their seats and Haechan screaming at the top of his lungs out of pure fear which made Jisung fall of the couch from shock. “Haechan!” Jisung shouted, groaning as he went back up to sit on the couch. Haechan turned around, forehead creased and face scrunched up. “Not my fault!”
“Shut up you literally acted as if you weren’t scared like one minute ago!” Chenle fired his words at full speed. And everyone, especially Mark’s laughter really lit the room’s atmosphere and making me feel a whole lot better already. Haechan told me that the club didn’t have a specific goal or anything, we were all just here to have fun, forget our problems.
It was a long night. After movie time we played arcade games, which was just all of them being extremely competitive except for me and Mark who were simply laughing in the background like spectators watching an intense scene with many complications that we couldn’t help but laugh at. We did everything that the play room offered. And throughout the whole time, I really felt happy, truly happy. I wasn’t stagnant. I actually felt the joy from hanging out with them. It’s as if I’ve forgotten the fact that I’ve felt so alone all this time, and opening up to feelings that I’ve never experienced in a long time.
I checked the time. It was one in the morning surprisingly. We all huddled around the couch, I was wrapped in the blanket while the others hugged their pillows. They dimed the lights and I swear I could doze off in any second due to the night we just had. “Hey, _____?” Jisung called out to me, making me turn to him and humming in question.
“Why did you want to join this club? I mean I know you didn’t come willingly but what made you accept our offer?” I puffed my cheeks, blowing them out after a moment. “It’s a long story but to cut it short, I met someone while I was on a trip at the beach. We connected so much. But we didn’t get each other’s names, or numbers, anything that’ll lead us back to each other once we parted ways.” I chuckled to myself, running a hand down my face.
“And I simply felt that I couldn’t be mindlessly searching for him without anything to lead on. I was wasting time, waiting for someone that’ll never come back. I guess I just wanted to join to forget.” I raised my shoulders up, the blanket covering half my face i. doing so. I would’ve cried and broke down if I were to tell the story in full. I was shocked at myself for not even breaking a tear or cracking my voice.
“How were you guys dumb enough not to exchange numbers? Even names! Isn’t that a basic thing to know about someone you just met?” Chenle asked, sounding concerned and intruiged as if wanting to know more about the whole ordeal. I laughed, shaking my head, thinking about how ridiculous it is going to sound out of my mouth.
“I don’t know how to explain exactly. But I guess we made that silent agreement to stay as strangers as a way for us to be who we want to be in front of the other without being judged one bit. We didn’t know each other’s backgrounds, so whatever we wanted to portray to the other was what the other got to see. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“But we showed, so much of ourselves to each other. Our relationship grew so deep in the span of two months. He was like... a familiarly unfamiliar stranger. If that makes any sense.” I moved all my down to fall on one shoulder, combing my hair with my fingers as I pursed my lips into a thin line.
I suddenly realised that we were in those “deep late night talk” vibes. It felt somewhat comforting, having a place where I could just let it all out. They made me feel safe and secured, everyone nodding their heads and letting my words sink in. “That’s a much more deep reason than what any of us have.” Haechan whispered, everyone nodding their heads firmly with affirmation.
“Well I can’t be dwelling on the past forever.” I smiled, one that I didn’t have to force out. “What time do you guys’ classes start tomorrow?” I asked with a raised brow of curiosity. “We all start in the afternoon.” Jisung suddenly gasped, making everyone’s heads turn to him. “Can we have a sleepover since we’re all here and cozy?” Jisung’s face lit up in such an adorable manner that made me laugh softly.
“Should we?” Jeno asked copying the smile I had on my face while we all exchanged looks. “I don’t mind. I have an eleven am lecture but I can go back to my dorm before then.” Jisung clapped his hands in excitement, shaking his body around happily. “Great!”
And that’s what we ended up doing. We kept up with the late night conversation, talking about anything and everything, going deep with our emotions and pouring it all out in our circle to be kept within us and us only. I was surprised at how much they shared with me despite it being my first day in the club but I liked that I was being trusted, it made me feel important. Eventually all of us slowly drifted off to sleep. But Jeno was wide awake. He couldn’t help but keep his eyes on the girl that had her head thrown back lazily as she snored softly in her sleep. With folded arms, his eyes narrowed down on her intensely, deep in thought.
“How am I going to tell him if it is what I think it is...?” Jeno whispered ever so softly, almost inaudible to himself. His head was spinning, countless of thoughts running through his mind. He was in a daze, not sure of what to do as if sandwiched between two options that he so desperately want to remove himself out of but can’t, for his best friend.
Digging deeper, he began to wonder what would be the aftermath of the different options he had laid out in front of him. This only sent him further down into the loophole of contemplation and confusion, not to mention the fact that he might be late for classes now due to staying up this late.
Morning came. I woke up, eyes half opened and just barely awake. I looked at the time on my phone. 9:05. Perfect amount of time for me to head back and get ready before class. I looked around, the room still dark due to the fact that there was little to no sunlight pssing through the cracks of the door. I slid myself out of the couch slowly and carefully. While trying go shimmy myself through the boys, I noticed a post it on Jeno’s shoulder. I leaned in, squinting my eyes to get them to focus.
“Wake me up before you head out, thanks.” My eyes flickered back and forth from the note and to Jeno who was sleeping peacefully. I puckered my lips, poking his shoulder gently. “Jeno? Wake up?” I urged with uncertainty. Jeno was quick to shoot his eyes open, glancing sideways before squinting his eyes to get his focus on me. “Thanks.” He whispered, sitting up and snatching the post-it from his arm to crumple it and throw it out in the dustbin.
“You could’ve woken up way later.” I said. Jeno hummed, running a hand through his messy hair. “I didn’t have the best sleep last night. Was scared that I’ll be late for class.” Jeno smiled softly at me, a tired but sincere smile. “Have a good day at class.” I bid him goodbye with the downshift of my head, exiting the play room and coming out of the common room to the basement.
Just as I was walking, I had my eyes glued on the floor. But I saw a figure speed walked pass. I glanced over my shoulder, the figure disappearing in a flash as they took a turn and entered the play room. I stopped for a moment, taking slow steps backwards till I reach the door, eyes squinting as I tried to think about who the person was. I peeked my head ever so slightly, not being able to get a clear look due to the darkness. However, I could tell it was a guy wearing a loose hoodie and sweatpants. Having his hood on, his identity was completely concealed from the world’s view.
“Jaemin? What are you doing here. Go sleep at-” A slam of the door was heard right after, cutting Jeno’s words off entirely with the room falling silent again. I blinked my eyes rapidly. “That was Jaemin?” I asked myself, slowly walking in the direction I was headed before.
In the play room, Jaemin dropped himself face first into the couch that was empty now that she’s gone. Jeno pushed Jaemin’s leg to give him space to sit at the edge. “Why’re you here? I told you to sleep in your dorm where it’s comfortable-”
“I just wanted to sleep with you guys here.” Jaemin cut the other’s words quickly with a mutter. Jeno rolled his eyes, looking at how Jaemin had his hood up so much that it was covering half of his face. “You do know that _____ just left, right? Didn’t you see her on your way here?” Jaemin gave a light shrug, hugging himself with his arms wrapped around his torso.
“_____? Note taken. I genuinely didn’t care enough to notice.” Jaemin replied with much ignorance. Jeno clicked his tongue, shaking his head at his friend’s behaviour. “Jaemin, she’s a new member. At least talk to her soon. Also...” Jeno began, making Jaemin look to him slowly with uncertainty. One word from Jeno and he knows it’s be something serious. “You obviously won’t believe me but...”
“I think she’s the one.” Jeno whispered as he stared at Jaemin, their eyes locking its contact with each other. The air between them was nothing but silence, Jaemin resonated Jeno’s words ever so carefully in his mind, making sure he heard that correctly.
“Don’t be ridiculous. No one can be her.” Jaemin shot back with full denial, refusing to believe Jeno.
“But Jae-”
“Please, don’t talk about her. My heart can’t bear it at all.” Jaemin’s eyes grew soft with his words. Jeno could tell that he was breaking, slowly and silently. As much as he wants to help Jaemin, he can’t do anything if he refuses it, shutting the world out and dealing with it by himself. It was big enough of a surprise that Jaemin shared what happened with Jeno. He couldn’t possibly ask for more.
“Alright. But I’ll be saying ‘told you so’ once you meet her. That I know for sure.” Jeno slouched into the couch more, closing his eyes and wanting to rest them before class later in the afternoon while Jaemin was already asleep and snoring softly.
However, despite Jaemin’s eyes being closed, his mind was wide awake with his gears turning in his head. She can’t possibly be in this college. It couldn’t have been her that he walked past mindlessly moments ago. For some reason, he wanted to fully denial it. He didn’t want to believe Jeno at all. But how could he not? Jeno’s his best friend so why would he even lie? What was the reason for Jaemin’s strong delusion? The longer he thought, the more he realised that it was maybe the fact that he was too afraid to face her if she were to ever stand in front of him. Who knows what could have happened to someone you didn’t see in years? People change, and Jaemin was afraid as to how she did.
I wasn’t over at the play room everyday. But if I was, there’d always be someone there for me to hang out with. It was only during the weekends when the whole group would gather together and spend the day free of worries to escape from their realities. Two weeks have passed, and I have yet to encounter the Jaemin that everyone kept worrying over. I was holding in my curiosity for far too long.
“Hey, guys?” I asked after placing a card down. We were playing Uno. I nudged on Mark who was sitting beside me, telling him to place a card. Everyone turned their heads to me, some humming while others had their brows raised. “When can I meet Jaemin? I’m getting quite impatient.” I said with a frown on my face, hearing Mark slamming his card down and shouting, “Plus four, Renjun!” Renjun groaned, sliding one card at a time off the center stack. “He should be here any minute now.” “What do you mean?”
“We sorta guessed that on top of his busy schedule he seems to be avoiding you. Not sure why but we had to lie that you weren’t here so that he’ll come.” Haechan shrugged, it was now his turn, putting a card down. I leaned back slightly, stretching out my back since we’ve been sitting here for hours playing different board games.
“Uno!” Just when Chenle shouted, the door flung open, our heads shooting to the direction. I couldn’t believe what stood at the doorframe. “Jaemin there you are!” Jisung wanted to run up to him but Jaemin pushed him away lightly.
I was met with his eyes. I was in too much of a shock that my mind went blank. I wasn’t able to process any of this. It’s as if time stopped the moment we locked eyes. He’s in front of me, the stranger from the beach. Many emotions began to flood my mind. It was a mix of everything. Happiness, fear, anxiousness, confusion. He’s right in front of my eyes, yet he looked so different. He had jet black hair, his style completely changed too. He had a stoic face, not like the bright and cheerful one I’ve always seen.
“So you’re Jaemin...?”
“_____...”
Jaemin took wobbly steps back, his pupils shaking with his lips quievering as he ran right out of the door. Jeno blinked his eyes rapidly and instantly chased after his best friend. The room was filled with silence, everyone’s eyes still at the door as I was still frozen stiff from whatever that just happened. It went by too fast. My blank expression didn’t show emotions that were overflowing in my small mind.
Outside, Jaemin was running as fast as he could, wanting to not belive whatever he had just seen. She was there. She was in the same room. It took him a matter of seconds to see that she hasn’t changed. He didn’t need time to look at her to know that. But that wasn’t why Jaemin was running away.
“Wait! Jaemin!” Jeno reached for Jaemin’s wrist and forcefully turned him around. “What is going on with you?!” Jeno asked, concern imbued into his tone.
“What do you think, Jeno?! She’s in the fucking room. And the reason why I joined this club was to get over her. Now you’re telling me she’s in the same club which whole purpose is to not fall in love?! H-How do you think I could even stay in that god damn room without breaking at the sight of her? I told you before. I fucking fell in love with her. And seeing her after two years, it just makes me want to fall and melt into the floor since I can’t bare to face up to her after suffering for so long at her absence next to me, okay? I just... It’s too much to handle.”
Tears were pricking Jaemin’s eyes, but for the sake of his pride, he wanted to claim that not a single one fell, releasing Jeno’s grip on him and running. He didn’t know where, all he thought about was to continue running. He couldn’t stand still, he had to do something. And that something was to run away, not wanting to accept that he has to bear all the feelings and everything that comes with having to see her more often, especially in a club where falling in love was forbidden, having it to be the whole reason for the club being made in the first place.
#nct x reader#nct#nct 2020#nct imagines#nct 127#nct ff#nct fluff#nct imagine#nct scenarios#nct angst#nct jaemin x reader#nct jaemin#nct dream jaemin#jaemin fanfic#na jaemin x reader#jaemin x reader#jaemin fluff#jaemin angst#nct dream series#nct jaemin imagines#nct jaemin scenarios#jaemin imagines#jaemin scenarios#na jaemin#nct na jaemin#jaemin imagine#nct drabbles#nct dream drabbles#nct dream oneshots
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Not Today
It's finally here!
Thanks so much @whatsmyline-pb for all your help and all you wonderful people out there who always are such an inspiration and motivation.
Anyone who wants to be added to the tag list, please let me know.
Fandom: Vikings
Rating: Mature
Categories: M/F; M/M
Relationships: Ivar/Hvitserk; Ivar/Heahmund; Ivar/Reader
Trigger warning for mentioning of past drug abuse, loss of loved one, psychological child abuse; see Ao3 for all tags
Words: 3808
Bright sunlight blinded Hvitserk’s eyes when he climbed up higher and higher into the huge oak, closely followed by his little brother.
“Wait for me,” he heard toddler Ivar cheerfully giggle. “I’ll get you, Hvitserk!”
And Hvitserk turned around, looking into Ivar’s shining eyes, light blue like a frozen lake and yet full of life and warmth. Tiny teeth innocently exposed to the sun, a chubby hand reaching out to his older brother who leaned forward to grip it and lift Ivar up to the next branch. But just as their soft hands touched, Ivar slipped and Hvitserk couldn’t do anything but watch in horror as his little brother fell and fell until he landed in the meadow below with a dull thud.
The sound went straight to Hvitserk’s core, pumping adrenaline through his veins and waking him up with a racing heartbeat, breathing hard, bare chest covered in cold sweat.
“Ivar,” he breathed panicked, still trying to fully escape the dream, having already stumbled out of bed and towards the entrance of his apartment. There in a little clay bowl, made by his half-sister Gyda, were the keys to the next-door apartment, which belonged to his younger brother, Ivar.
When Hvitserk arrived in his brother’s pitch-dark bedroom, he was devastated to make out the shadow of Ivar on the floor. That could only mean two things: that his baby brother was deadly drunk…or worse.
Not sure which option he’d have to face, Hvitserk slowly knelt. He stretched his arm out but hesitated to let his hand touch Ivar yet.
“Hey brother? Ivar!” and when he carefully shook his brother’s shoulder and was not yelled at, he started to wish Ivar was drunk. Selfishly, Hvitserk longed for the less painful explanation, knowing what followed would break both their hearts. Again.
He carefully leaned over Ivar and whispered, “It’s okay, I’m here.” Then he stood up, turned back the covers on the bed and waited for his brother to drag himself onto it. The ongoing silence, so unlike his brother, scared Hvitserk. After Ivargot himself up and into bed Hvitserk’s heart felt enormously heavy, and he got to bed as well, lining himself up behind his brother, carefully pushing one of his knees between Ivar’s cold, lifeless legs. Just when he lay his arm around Ivar’s waist, offering his other arm as a pillow, the latter mumbled, barely audible, “I can’t take it anymore.”
Fuck. What is he supposed to say to that? “It’s all going to be okay”? Because how could it? They both knew it would be such a lie.
So instead Hvitserk drew Ivar closer and asked him: “Hear my heartbeat? Just focus on that. Breathe.”
After a few minutes Ivar’s breathing steadied and Hvitserk calmed down a bit himself, only to start wondering what had put Ivar in such a state. His thoughts wandered and Hvitserk didn’t realise that he was slowly drifting back to sleep until a rough voice suddenly mumbled, “I wish I could be just like everyone else. Not standing out. Not in constant pain. And not needing to be looked after.”
And while that should have made Hvitserk’s heart break, it nearly cheered him up; all his brother longed for, was so reasonable. But above all, the bitterness with which he proclaimed his dreams, although only whispered, showed his strength. Yes, he might be in despair, and who wouldn’t? But Ivar would never give up. That was something Hvitserk was so sure of in that moment.
He cleared his throat: “Well my dear brother, if you of all the people would be just like everybody else, this world would be a damn boring place.” And he knew how Ivar smiled in that moment even if he couldn’t see it, and he felt his chest broaden. And he went on: “And -as much as it hurts me to admit - someone so remarkable, like you, will always stand out.” And hey, that even earned him a little huff.
Ivar had taken his brother’s hand and their thumbs brushed over each other’s fingers, just the way they had done when they were kids.
“Regarding the pain, brother; not the one who never fell, but the one who always stood up again is the strongest of them all.”
“That some wisdom of your Buddha, huh?” Ivar teased playfully.
“Fuck you,” Hvitserk smiled and hurried to bury his face in Ivar’s neck. They both knew that these two words were actually saying: “There is nothing in this world I’d rather do than to take care of you. I love you.”
It was silent again. No cars were driving outside yet and Hvitserk couldn’t even hear a bird over the loud pulsing of his blood. It must be between two or three o’clock in the morning.
Ivar’s strong hands clasped close around his brother’s wrist while his right elbow punched Hvitserk playfully in his side.
“Hey,” he complained.
Ivar then twisted his upper body, pushed himself a bit up and turned his face towards his brother. Their lips were just inches apart and Hvitserk felt Ivar’s warm breath on his when he looked him deep in the eyes and then hummed a drowsy, “Good night”.
They must have fallen asleep straight afterwards since Hvitserk couldn’t remember closing his eyes at all, but now, awake again, he heard many birds chirping outside. Once more he was grateful, they had not only found neighbouring apartments, but that they had come with a roof terrace. Not only thecoolest thing for parties but also a great space to grow strawberries in the summer, some herbs, tomatoes lavender and some tiny trees, which attracted a lot of tiny birds. Sometimes Hvitserk was still surprised how much he really liked gardening, but it had helped him a lot during his past struggle. Taking care of something that could grow and prosper under his touch, through his care, proved to him once again that he was needed and able to do good.
It had always been like that though, Hvitserk had always been the one everyone in the family could rely on. He had always gladly helped and still it was just so often overlooked. Being sandwiched between siblings— three older, two elevated by their superior lineage, and the two youngest, so loud and demanding, constantly fighting for their parent’s attention— Hvitserk shared the fate of most middle children; being taken granted for by everyone.
Somehow no one had ever wondered, why it was him who started to get up at night and go over to the room Sigurd and Ivar shared as kids when the latter cried. Hvitserk didn’t blame Sigurd though, who was still so young himself, and he would never blame anyone anyway. Still, sometimes he had wondered why Ubbe never thought it was his duty as the eldest to help their overtired parents by looking after Ivar at night sometimes. After a while Hvitserk’s sleep got so light that Ivar just had to whimper, and his older brother was there to soothe him before his parents even heard anything.
Of course, it was their mom, and only she, who was able to get through to Ivar when he was in really bad pain, when he had another broken bone or had extreme growing pains. And during the days it was Ubbe or their dad who made sure to keep Ivar entertained and occupied as good as possible, as much as Aslaug allowed, to distract Ivar from his chronic pain. But it was always Hvitserk who calmed Ivar when he had a bad dream or was sad and frustrated and couldn’t sleep because the rising pain kept him awake. Then his older brother would carefully cuddle up to him and retell him the stories he himself had just heard from Ubbe. Hvitserk loved Ubbe dearly and his storytelling abilities was only one of the many things Hvitserk admired him for.
Cuddling up to each other became their routine, and then sometimes Hvitserk would stroke his baby brother’s back in calming circles, sometimes he just held his tiny shaking hand, sometimes he’d whisper stories and sometimes it took never-ending assurances of “it will soon be better” before Ivar fell asleep again.
The calming circles was a trick Gyda had shown him; Hvitserk was sure that he would have had no chance of ever looking after Ivar if Gyda and Björn had lived in the same house. But sharing the same property with two main houses was all Lagertha and Aslaug could agree to. The houses had to be in fact the exact replicas, his father grumbling that this made him look like an idiot to the rest of Kattegat, while Aslaug was furious hers wasn’t bigger, as she had given him not only two but four children and one needed special care, while Lagertha always played the “but I was his first wife and gave birth to his first son” card. This bickering had been a constant background noise to them all throughout their childhood.
The kids all got along well. Sometimes it seemed as if they were making up for their parent’s constant fighting. Hvitserk looked up to Ubbe, Ubbe adored Björn, Sigurd was a needy little pest but was always kept in check by their sweet sister Gyda who was the one person all of them always instantly listened to, even though she never raised her voice. And they all loved their baby brother Ivar.
Looking back, Hvitserk thought that never raising her voice had worked wonders for Gyda and had been her superpower in the often so loud household. Wherever she went, Gyda exuded an atmosphere of calm and friendliness.
Hvitserk missed his half-sister, while, lost in thought, he stroked a strand of damp hair from Ivar's forehead. After some time, he carefully made sure that Ivar was still asleep and then snuck out of the bed and back to his own apartment.
These neighbouring apartments had been a gift from the gods, just when both had needed a wink from fate. After Hvitserk got released from rehab Aslaug didn’t want to have him in their house anymore. She was very outspoken about it and about her reason for it: she feared for Ivar. Those words, yelled in a high-pitched voice, made Ivar doubt his mother’s sanity for the second time in his life. Her angry announcement also led to a fierce fight between Ragnar and Athelstan; Athelstan didn’t want to waste a moment before welcoming Hvitserk in the home he and Ragnar shared. But Ragnar proclaimed that it would do Hvitserk no good if he wasn’t forced to stand on his own feet again.
Being of age and with both his parents not wanting him around, Hvitserk was overjoyed that his little brother was finally sick of Aslaug’s suffocating love and was similarly anxious to get out of the toxic household.
It also helped immensely that Ragnar’s guilty consciousness led him to move mountains and loads of money to grant them their neighbouring apartments over the roofs of Copenhagen.
Aslaug had a fit that someone in a wheelchairwould want to move to a roof top loft, but all three men had done their best to just ignore her. The boys would swear they had later heard their dad’s thoughts on exactly where their mom could shove her concerns regarding the roof top, as they argued on the street.
The modern building had an excellent lift, and the character of the loft gave Ivar all the space he needed. Ragnar made sure that his good friend Floki oversaw any needed adjustments in regards of the widths of the doors or the accessibility of the terrace.
Ivar’s apartment also had adjusted furniture throughout all rooms and Floki took pride in designing the kitchen himself.
Now, back in his own apartment, the cold blanket over Hvitserk’s unused bed made him shiver as he wrapped himself in it. He couldn’t fall asleep again. Instead, he lay there, stared at his ceiling, a wave of emotions suddenly clashing over him. The last three years had been such a roller coaster.
Thora.
His fingers clung to the blanket almost painfully.
Hvitserk pressed his eyes together and forced himself to try some steady breaths, just as he had shown to Ivar only a few hours ago. After a few minutes, he breathed out deeply, opened his eyes and mumbled into the darkness: “You did well. You overcame things, Hvits. You did it and you can still do it.” And suddenly, his anxiety switched to a slightly hysterical laughter. “Oh fuck!” he laughed staring at the ceiling again. “I’m such a pathetic loser, mumbling to myself in the dark…”
But his words didn’t contain any heat and a small smile formed on his lips since he knew he wasn’t a pathetic looser. At least definitely not when it came to other people. Hvitserk knew that he was a good brother. Especially to Ivar. Always had, always would be.
Hvitserk relaxed a bit more in his bed and thought back to their childhood again. He had always understood Ivar’s despair, his illness making him incapable to certain aspects of life. Hvitserk had never looked to the side or pretend not to hear when small sniffles filled his brother’s bedroom. Hvitserk could never stand anyone being in pain.
That’s how he and Ivar had become inseparable, even though Hvitserk had never stopped loving spending time with Ubbe. But the nights filled with hidden sobs belonged to him and his baby brother. When they had gotten a bit older and started school, they started to hide their cuddling from the rest, Hvitserk always sneaking back to his bed before anyone woke up. Just as they had done now. But nevertheless, hiding it sometimes didn’t sit well with Hvitserk since they weren’t doing anything wrong. And he often longed for owning up to it.
Especially when the comforting felt so good.
******
The next time Hvitserk woke was thanks to his vibrating phone. With narrowed eyes he tapped around his bed to find it. The sun was already shining brightly into his room, and he wondered what time it was.
With a groan he opened the screen but then smiled.
Ivar had sent a picture of his famous pancakes and the teasing/taunting message, “Liking them cold now?”
Hvitserk answered with the running man emoji and jumped out of bed to get a quick shower.
About 15 minutes and a stack of freshly made pancakes later, Ivar asked, “Good?” with a raised eyebrow, rather amused about the way Hvitserk stuffed the sweets in.
“Sure,” Hvitserk grinned and held his coffee cup up shaking it in the air in silent request.
“Huh! Don’t you have legs, anymore?” Ivar huffed with mocked indignation, nevertheless taking the cup and limping towards his fancy coffee machine.
Those were the good moments. And Ivar had them, and they both loved them, but there was still the underlying question about last night. While Ivar pushed the buttons on the shiny coffee machine to make his brother an Americano, Hvitserk started to play around on his phone.
And there it was, the explanation for last night:
Special needs Ragnarsson to join university of Copenhagen
There are pictures too. They must have caught Ivar yesterday afternoon; looking very grumpy while he had tried to climb the stairs of the university, struggling with his crutches while carrying the registration paperwork under one arm as well.
“Ivar…” he sighed, a dull plain already clenching around his heart.
He could see how Ivar’s back muscles stiffened before he hissed a frustrated: “Don’t.”
Gosh, how Hvitserk hated the paparazzi for what they were constantly doing to them. If it wasn’t him being caught drunk, Björn with some women or Sigurd with some guy, they could always rip on Ivar.
“You could’ve…” he started but got harshly interrupted by his brother.
“No, I can’t always run whining to Ubbe, okay?” He slammed his coffee angrily on the table with such a force, that little droplets of coffee splashed to his plate. “And I won’t! Besides they just caught me off guard,” Ivar hissed through gritted teeth.
They both sat silently for a while, trying to concentrate on their breakfast, which no longer tasted that good, with all the tension in the air.
Ivar knew his brother was just worried about him, but he didn’t need that, well at least he didn’t want it. He wanted to stand up for himself and make his own decisions. And it was probably this thought that made him admit: “I visited mom, afterward.”
He didn’t even have to look over to Hvitserk to know how immediately tense he became. Biting his lower lip, a frown on his forehead Ivar prepared himself to hear a litany of reasons why that had been a fucking stupid idea.
Just as Hvitserk opened his mouth, Ivar got ahead of him. Looking out of the huge window, concentrating on the clouds to avoid looking at his brother, he admitted in a low voice:
“I just had to, Hvit. I wanted to show her the stuff from university and just share that with her.” And then he turned around facing his brother, suddenly quite furiously: “Just because you all hate her, I don’t, okay!?”
Hvitserk dropped his fork in resignation. Pancakes or not, it was too early to have this discussion again. And while he wondered how they could have arrived at this argument again, his phone beeped.
Ubbe: Is he okay?
Hvitserk huffed, rolled his eyes, and typed the fitting emoji in the box, adding, “what do you think?” Then added another message: “for even more fun, he went to see mother afterwards…”
Ubbe: ugh, one day I’ll get her a restraining order, I swear!
Hvitserk: only if you want Ivar never to speak to you again…
Unnerved from the typing, Ivar felt he’d lash out on his brother any second when he got a message himself.
The sender startled him, though, and a surprised “Huh” escaped his lips. He was supporting himself with one hand on the kitchen island, staring at his mobile in the other with quite some disbelieve.
“What’s it?”
“It’s from Lagertha,” Ivar frowned.
Abandoning his own mobile and instead reaching for the last pancake – because tension or not, Hvitserk was definitely not wasting any food - he wondered what Lagertha was up to.
They all tried to be civil with her, although being honest and more precise, it was only Ivar and he who needed some effort to behave around her. Ubbe had always adored her, although maybe Ubbe had only always adored Björn and dreamt about having the same mother as his big idol.
And do not get him started on Sigurd. That idiot would write an essay about the hardships of this poor, hard fighting women, who lost her husband to some bitch of a woman. Whose then ex-husband never stop hitting on her and dreaming about the three of them living together before he finally gave up on both and moved on. On to Athelstan, the ex-priest he had fallen in love with on one of his many travels.
It was no wonder Sigurd adored Lagertha as she had never - in contrast to both his biological parents – looked down on his musical aspirations as weak, and even supported him to try turn his passion into a proper job. Nonetheless, Hvitserk never understood why his little brother had come out as bisexual to Lagertha first and not to their father, given his current situation. That was one step too many if you asked Hvitserk. He and all his brothers would have been – well were – supportive of Sigurd. The fact he trusted Lagertha more than them, had driven a wedge between Sigurd and him. It had hurt and confused him, and he didn’t want to dislike Sigurd. And sometimes Hvitserk thought it had just been another way for his younger brother to get attention.
For a very short time Sigurd had been the family’s baby and gotten all their mother’s attention. She was so proud of him when he was born with a sign in his eyes. She had been walking around telling everyone about old sagas and that “Sigurd Snake in the Eye” was born for higher things. And then Ivar was born and all of Aslaug’s attention was drawn to him.
As understandable as it was that Ivar needed more attention than other babies, Aslaug just completely forgot about Sigurd. Forgot about all of them, actually, but Hvitserk and Ubbe had already been at an age where not too much attention from their mother was actually welcomed. Whereas Sigurd was just a toddler himself and didn’t understand what he could have done wrong to be totally wiped from his mother’s plate. Still craving for her love and attention, Sigurd identified Ivar as the cause of his misery and had despised him since then.
It was entirely thanks to Gyda that things between the two youngest never escalated. She had always put so much effort in bringing the two youngest together and creating a mutual understanding for each other’s situations. And while their dad was grateful, in awe of his daughter, both of his ex-wives, at some point, grew weary of Gyda’s efforts. Hvitserk never understood what had happened then and neither Lagertha nor his mother ever cared to explain anything to them. One day, Gyda had simply left. It had taken a whole year for her to reach out to them again.
“What does she want?” Hvitserk sighed, not sure if he really cared. Sometimes Hvitserk just wanted his former, very uncomplicated life back. The life they had, when their parents were still together, the life prior to Sigurd getting caught being fucked up the ass by a slimy music producer or Hvitserk lying in his own vomit after a bad trip. No, don’t think back to the drugs, he instantly told himself. He closed his eyes and wished that Ivar either wouldn’t notice his trembling hand or would think that it was Lagertha stressing him out. After all, he had been clean for nearly two years now.
Luckily Ivar didn’t seem to realise his sudden instability or maybe put it down as him still needing more sugar. He didn’t comment on it, at least, but instead explained:
“She said some guy saw one of my photographs at her home and asked if there was more. He might be interested in buying.”
“Oh. Well, that’d be cool, no?” Hvitserk replied with a full mouth.
Ivar huffed, and then looked at his brother. He had a smirk on his lips and didn’t seem to be angry any longer: “Well, definitely cooler than the guy’s name.”
Hvitserk raised an eyebrow questioningly. And when Ivar read, with exaggerated clarity, “Heahmund” they both started to laugh.
@not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @pieces-by-me @punkrocknpearls @vikingstrash
#vikings au#vikings fanfiction#vikings ivar#ivar the boneless#hvitserk#vikings hvitserk#ragnarssons#ragnar lothbrok#heahmund x ivar#ivar x reader#floki#athelstan#lagertha#gyda#vikings#sigurd#vikings ubbe#aslaug#vikings bjorn
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INFERNO | jjk (m)
➳ PAIRING: phoenix!jungkook x reader
➳ GENRE: smut, pwp
➳ WORD COUNT: 2.7k
➳ WARNINGS: SEXUAL TENSION BABEY, sort of religious reader, koo has his dick out the whole time, the only thing bigger than his dick is his massive ego, the gloves stay ON during sex, semi voyerism, hand job, fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex
➳ SUMMARY: after praying to the gods for help, they whisper for you to visit the Royal Court of Embers to find their king, but all you find is a egotistical phoenix who wonders why you aren’t down on your knees worshiping him instead
➳ A/N: I wanted to practice sexual tension so I wrote this bad boy. I should mention it is also part of the Nevermore universe!
—
The golden sun. That’s what you would describe the phoenix in front of you as. A blinding, but glorious light you’d almost mistake as one of the gods.
Visiting the Royal Court of Embers with a request, as nothing but a weak human with nothing to offer, probably won’t end well, but you’ve become desperate. The people in your town have begun to vanish without a trace, not even a body left behind. The hunters can’t figure out the cause no matter how hard they search. It’s becoming a hopeless endeavor and there are many who have given up finding an answer, wondering why the gods have abandoned their loved ones.
But not you. You still believe the gods have an answer out there. After visiting the temples and praying, asking the gods for help, a gentle breeze whispered the answer into your ear.
Visit the Royal Court of Embers. Find the king.
So you did.
Entering the domain shared by dragons and phoenixes as a human is a brave feat. Not much is known about them other than their immense power being enough to scare even the strongest demons into submission. If anything—god or beast—can solve your mysterious problem, it’s them.
When you arrived however, they refused to let you speak to their king, claiming you had no right to even be on their land. But your persistence was enough to convince them to let you speak to the king’s right hand, Jungkook, a phoenix.
His many lovers leave hungry, lust filled marks across his body, staining his skin with blossoming purple and red marks. They drown him, draped over him, rutting against anything he has to offer, moaning out all their heavenly pleasure.
You hear their cries, the wanton way his name easily falls from their hungry lips.
“Jungkook,” they plead from plush, red lips.
And despite this, despite Jungkook’s constorts clinging to his skin and begging for his attention, his eyes flutter to yours across the room for a moment. A single glance from those blazing, golden eyes, as if the eternal sun were captured in his irises, sets your beating heart ablaze and you just can’t bring yourself to tear your eyes away from his magnificence.
While his eyes, heavy with lust, roam over your meek form slowly, his interest has piqued.
What is a human doing trembling in the presence of a phoenix? No, more importantly, how were you granted access into his chambers?
What a nuisance.
A single gloved finger curls, beckoning you over to his sofa. He disperses his lovers with a sharp look, without a word. They know better than to ignore his burning eyes and scamper off, completely bare, and out the door you just entered.
He examines you with curiosity.
“Closer.”
You step forward, averting your eyes from his uncovered erection to the setting sun over a green valley. It’s such a perfect sight. He must see this everyday and bask in the golden glow.
You suddenly feel a twinge of sadness in your chest knowing that this will be the last time you’ll ever get to witness such a magnificent sunset. Back home, the dull skies are constantly gloomy with grey clouds hiding the sun.
You want to marvel at the sky longer and wait to see the sun disappear over the horizon but the phoenix clears his throat and your eyes are drawn back to him—a being as glorious as the sun itself.
“Kneel, human,” He drawls, tugging on the edge of his glove tighter. If his hands were to even graze your skin for a second, you’d be consumed by his unforgiving flames, and he’d rather not have the stench of your burnt corpse lingering in his chambers.
You do as told, prefering to be on good terms with Jungkook if you’re going to have to ask for his help. Your knees collide with the floor, going so far as to lowering your forehead to meet the marble. The floors are cold, unlike the temperature of the room currently. Ever since you stepped into Jungkook’s room, the temperature feels like a warm summer day spent outside doing yard work with beads of sweat slowly dripping down your temples. So the cool tiles are a sweet relief to the heat.
“I’ve come to ask for your help.”
Jungkook tsks, amused, “come closer.”
You slowly rise, moving toward him once again until you’re in front of his lounging figure. His legs are spread wide, a loose black robe hangs over his shoulders, doing nothing to cover his thick erection.
You almost begin to salivate, thoughts wandering off to inappropriate imaginations. It’s hard to recall why you’re standing in front of him when all you can think of is how it would feel to be choking on his cock, having it hit the back of your throat as he fucks your mouth however he pleases.
Jungkook wears a smirk, almost like he knows exactly what dirty thoughts are plaguing your mind and he’s thinking the same.
“Have your gods forsaken you again, little human?” The phoenix purrs, running his gloved finger slowly on the underside of your jaw. The thin material, the only thing keeping you from burning at his touch, is soft. “Have your prayers not reached their deaf ears? Or have you finally accepted that the only gods you truly have are right here in front of you?”
His golden eyes burn brightly, swallowing you into their inferno.
You swallow, wetting your lips. Jungkook’s golden eyes quickly follow your tongue glide across your lower lip, curious for a taste. “Maybe the gods have led me to you.”
Jungkook clicks his tongue. “Come.”
He pats his bare thigh, inviting you to sit. His silk robe has opened and now exposes his cock resting hard against his chiseled stomach.
You can’t help your wandering eyes. His gloved hands grab tightly onto your waist as if telling you not to run. He guides you down onto his toned thigh, never letting go. You do your best to avoid letting your leg brush against his erection, afraid you might let out a moan once you feel how hard he actually is.
Jungkook’s chest brushes against your shoulder, his grip around your waist tightens, as he leans in to press his lips against the shell of your ear. He whispers in a low and seductive tone, the vibration of his words causes you to shudder, “let me ask you something.”
You hold your breath, struggling to keep it steady when one of his hands snakes up your back to cup the back of your neck.
Jungkook presses a featherlight kiss to the underside of your jaw. You might not have felt it if you weren’t so hyper aware of his every movement, his every breath on your burning skin.
“Humans have prayed to their gods for centuries, but none of them ever answer. So, why?”
Another soft kiss, this time against the shell of your ear.
“Why what?” You manage to say almost breathlessly. You turn your head away in an attempt to cool down your burning cheeks, but being so close to a phoenix it feels like your whole body is on fire.
“Why do you humans continue to worship absent gods?”
You wring your hands together.
“I have faith.” It was faith that guided you to the Court of Embers and led you straight into Jungkook’s lap with the hopes that he’d help your town. So far, the gods haven’t led you wrong. In fact, you’re currently thanking them silently for bringing you on to the lap of this breathtaking phoenix.
“Faith,” he repeats. You can feel the hot breath of his scoff on your neck. “Don’t you want to believe in something real? Humans should be worshiping us instead.”
His hand pries apart your tightly bound ones, guiding it down a path along his chest. Your eyes follow, your body lets him drag your hand down lower and lower.
“We’re real. See how easily you can come to me?” Now your hand is right above his weeping cock. You squirm in his lap, legs clenching together. “Touch me?”
Gone, are his steady breaths and the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. Now, he lets out a shuddered breath, staring deeply into your eyes.
“We could grant your every wish, your every desire, if you’d just get on your knees and pray to us instead, my sweet human. You’d have it all.”
Finally, he presses his lips to yours. They’re as warm as you’d expect a phoenix’s lips would be. The kiss sparks a light in your belly, desire pooling even more than before. The hand on the back of your neck draws you in closer until your chest is flush with his and you move your hands up to curl around the silk fabric of his robe.
He pulls back, almost breathless, his pink swollen lips barely grazing yours. “Let me be your only god tonight. I can show you all I have to offer.”
You’re eager for another kiss, for his hands to wander lower on your body, but you can’t forget why you’re here in the first place.
“Only if you agree to help my town.” You pant, sliding your hands down his bare chest. The tip of your finger brushes the head of his cock lightly. He tenses his grip around you, letting out a soft groan into your ear. “I wouldn’t mind getting on my knees to pray then.”
Jungkook smirks, splaying his fingers across your inner thigh, stroking the skin. He spreads your legs wider.
“You humans love playing with fire,” he murmurs, kissing down your neck, sucking and biting at sensitive skin. His gloved hands, outline your waist. The soft material glides closer and closer to your core. “But I accept.”
Briefly, his finger connects with your clit through the material of your pants and you jolt against him, whining when he pulls back.
“Are you ready to forsake your gods for me tonight?”
You nod, moving your hips closer to his fingers, eager to take your pants off and grind against whatever he has to offer.
He chuckles, unbuttoning your pants, “hm, my human, I’m afraid once you have a taste of me you’ll become addicted. Are you really ready for me?”
You’d like to wipe the teasing smirk off his face so your hand wraps around the base of his cock, stroking slowly. You enjoy the breathy whimper he makes when caught off guard. Seeing if you can make him do it again, your thumb runs over the head of his cock, spreading the pearl of precum forming at the tip.
“Ah, f-fuck,” he hisses. The high and mighty confidence he wears slowly slipping.
“I want you, Jungkook,” you tease, releasing his cock and sucking the precum off your thumb, “but maybe it’s you who’s not ready for me?”
You flick your wrists, pumping his cock and watching his face crumble in pleasure.
“Damn, you human,” he curses, clenching his jaw.
“Try calling me ___ instead of human and maybe I’ll show you how good I am on my knees.”
His golden eyes shine, practically glow, as he rakes them over you. “No,” he says stubbornly, the confident voice he had before is seeping back. “You’re going to strip and get on my bed instead.”
Those eyes are not meant to be disobeyed. You feel the heat between your thighs pool even more at his commanding voice.
You rise off his lap, pulling off your shirt. As you make your way towards his bed, you unclasp your bra, dropping it to the ground behind you. Although you can’t see his face, you’re certain he’s watching your every move. Once you shimmy off your pants and underwear, you sway your hips, enticing the phoenix.
“Such a wicked temptress,” He tsks, following after you. “Are you sure you’re not a succubus?”
Jungkook comes up behind you, wrapping his muscular arms around your waist. His gloved hand dips down to tease your dripping entrance, rolling your clit between two pinched fingers. You roll your hips against his finger, eagerly waiting to be filled.
“Just human,” you breathe, leaning your back against his chest, carding your fingers through his soft chestnut hair.
His breath tickles your skin again as he runs his nose down your neck, pressing rough kisses along the way. His lips latch onto your shoulder sucking a new mark for you to wear. He pulls back to admire your new bruise and as he does so, he uses two fingers and slides them into you without warning. His gloves are soaked from your juices, letting his fingers move easily in and out of your wet heat.
You moan against his neck, rocking your hips as his fingers curl inside you, “Mm, more.”
He moves slowly, drawing more moans out of you and occasionally brushes your clit so you’ll whine for more. He lightly scrapes his teeth over your ear, whispering, “Good girl, keep moaning for me like that.”
His other hand rubs your breasts, rolling your pebbled nipples between his fingers, alternating between each. The sting of his touch makes you whimper.
You grind your ass against his cock teasingly, feeling his fingers tense and still inside of your pussy. It’s a mistake because he pulls his slick coated fingers out of you, leaving you begging for him to put them back.
“I don’t take orders from humans easily. If you want to cum you’re going to have to earn it.”
—
Your thighs are aching. If it weren’t for his strong arm holding your waist up, you’d be limp on the bed as he fucked you. Your voice is wasted from screaming his name over and over.
His strong thrust reminds you that he’s one of the most powerful creatures to ever exist. Each time he penetrates your tightly clenched walls from behind, you’re filled with even more heat and desire.
You curl your fingers around his sheets, crying out at his brutal pace. The wet slaps of your bodies meeting resonate throughout the room.
“Please, please,” you plead, the voice that comes out is so unfamiliar, “let me cum.”
“Tell me,” he grunts, sneaking a hand around to lightly press a finger to your sensitive clit, causing you to let out a sob. “Aren’t I better than your gods?”
You’re shaking with need and on the verge of tears. Living as an immortal phoenix, Jungkook really knows how to use his cock to turn anyone into a mess. You’re not even fully aware of everything you’re saying. You know enough to know whatever you’re saying is getting you closer to the release you’re after.
“Yes!,” you cry, “fuck, I-I only need you, Jungkook.”
His gloved finger rubs roughly against your clit, sending more tremors through your aching body. “You’ll never be fucked this good again, huh? Not by any mortal or beast.”
“No, never!”
“That’s right,” he hisses as you clench around him. “You’ve been good for me, human. Cum.”
It’s all you need for him to say as your whole body tenses and you’re in a state of pure euphoria. You cry out his name one more time.
Jungkook’s thrusts become more erratic as he chases his own release. His cum fills you up, ropes and ropes of it costing your walls. When he pulls out, a mix of both your juices leak from your abused hole. He releases your waist and you have no choice but to give into your weakened muscles and fall limp against the bed.
You groan at the soreness of your thighs and bury your face into his sheets.
Behind you, you can hear him shuffling around, but you’re too tired to care what he’s doing. Drifting off into a peaceful sleep is all you want now.
—
“Wake up, human. We have a deal, remember?”
You’re roused out of your peaceful slumber by an irritated voice.
“I can’t have anyone else in the palace knowing I made a deal with a human. They’d laugh about it for the next century. So we’re sneaking out before dawn.”
You lazily open one eye to find Jungkook, still in a loose fitting robe that exposes his chest, but at least it’s covering his lower half.
“I’m surprised you cared enough to remember.”
You thought he’d kick you out once he’d finished with you, but he’s proved you wrong.
Jungkook huffs, crossing his arms, “I have to prove that humans are better off worshipping us, don’t I?”
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Lineage
Summary: Business or pleasure.
Respite was hard to attain for the Warrior of Light and the Speaker of the House of Lords. Even now, with you and Aymeric oceans away for a belated honeymoon in Costa del Sol, the two of you weren’t exactly free from your duties.
The task?
To sire an heir to the Borel name.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Plus Size F!Reader/Aymeric
YEEHAW
WHEN I TELL U THE WAY I YELLED WHEN I GOT THIS COMM PROMPT ON MY KO-FI FHAKLFHAKLF 🥺💙💙💙💙💙🥺 THANK YOU TO THE DEAREST COMMISSIONER FOR THIS CHANCE TO WRITE ABOUT MY FAVORITE BISHOUNEN ELF MANS!!!
I HOPE U ALL ENJOY!!!
----------
Night had fallen but the air was still so warm, so humid.
The sound of gently rolling sapphire waves washing up onto pristine white sand, the exotic scent of surrounding tropical fauna mingling with the smoky burn of a BBQ bonfire malms away down the coastline, the gorgeously ethereal shine of moonlight above in the onyx sky.
From where you stood upon the polished wooden floor of your private bungalow suite with your window open, you were in the ideal position to take in all the sights, scents, and sensations that elated each of your senses.
Truly, it was a beautiful night to be in Costa del Sol.
Though, one whiff of the salt-tinged ocean air instantly took you back to the snow swept lands of Ishgard.
The city you had since called to be your home.
Something made official when you were finally wed to the one and only Aymeric de Borel.
He was why the two of you were in Costa del Sol in the first place.
Aside from finally having the proper honeymoon that the two of you did not get to enjoy after your wedding--given that the escalated rebellions in Ala Mhigo and Doma called for your immediate presence--there was one specific reason why you were here to admire this gorgeous Costa del Sol night.
Wearing nothing but an exquisite royal blue lace chemise.
It wasn’t too long ago that you had just finished up assisting Stephanivien with teaching a lecture to a new class of fresh-faced machinists at the Skysteel Manufactory when none other than a beaming Haurchefant came sprinting towards you the moment you emerged through the door.
“Many tidings to you, my splendid friend! I wish you great blessings upon the Borel heir to be!”
The first sentence you were prepared for, the second you were not.
“Borel heir...to be?” You repeated as your mind processed just what Haurchefant chirped to you.
Though, before you could ask for what he meant, the towering knight was suddenly made to bow by none other than one irritated Estinien.
“Oi, we were supposed to head out to Aurum Vale already,” he grumbled, just before looking towards you with a look of resigned exasperation. “As for you, it’s better if you hear what lover boy has planned for you himself.”
Without sparing another word to even begin to clarify, Estinien proceeded to drag Haurchefant--who happily offered you his goodbyes with a supportive thumbs up--away while muttering something about sprout greenling paladins who bit off more they could chew.
Your subsequent return to the Borel Manor where your husband was there to tenderly greet you with a loving embrace and tender kisses resulted in his affectionate expression becoming intensely flustered when you brought up Haurchefant’s sudden declaration.
The parchment letter marked with the seal of one of Costa del Sol’s most luxurious resorts that was tucked in his pocket was thankfully still kept as a surprise at the very least.
Thus, with the reveal that soon followed, you and Aymeric took off from Ishgard’s eternal winter to bask in the endless summer of Costa del Sol.
And why you were gazing out towards the evening tropical scenery with a fluttering heart.
After all, tonight was meant to not only celebrate the union between you and your husband, but to begin the journey of bearing an heir to the Borel name.
Though Ishgard was in the midst of a historical change within its society to break from tradition and move towards a more open-minded one, there was still an expectation for the House of Lords’s speaker to sire a child, the pressure of which had been pushing increasingly upon Aymeric’s shoulders during your absence.
While starting a family was a conversation that the two of you had spoken about in earnest throughout your relationship prior to this night, to do so now with the layer of political presumption from Ishgard’s governing body was enough to twist your nerves into knots.
A feeling that dissipated the moment you felt a pair of arms wrap tenderly around your waist.
Body heat exemplified by a recent hot shower emanated behind you, the sensation deepened by a chiseled bare chest pressing right against your back, pushing the warmth even further into your skin through the flimsy fabric of your chemise, of which contrasted with the thicker material of a bath towel that hung securely on sturdy hips.
And even here, in a tropical paradise that was oceans away from the inescapable snow that enveloped all of Ishgard, a delightful shiver still trailed along your body from the words that was murmured hotly into your ear,
“I must send my regards to the hotel staff for their hospitality. I did not expect to receive such a divinely wrapped present after my bath.”
Your head turned back, your eyes soon captivated by sapphire irises that gazed earnestly into yours with affection.
Almost overwhelmingly so.
You were used to seeing love akin to absolute reverence in Aymeric’s eyes whenever your gaze would meet his.
But unlike the light that glinted in his blue eyes from when he helped out off the boat that carried you to Costa del Sol, here on this night, there was a darkened, longing desire reflected in his gaze.
Though you had faced many a foe whose schemes spelled ruin across every inch of the realm, it was now that you suddenly found yourself shrinking back with shyness. Giggling amidst your overwhelmed nerves, you teased in response, “Must you charm me more, Ser Aymeric? Was our wedding not enough?”
“You know I will never have enough of you, darling.”
You froze.
Aymeric’s voice was already so dulcetly rich and deep, but the tone of his words smoldered with conviction.
His embrace around your ample waist tightened, a sigh of utter satisfaction escaping him as he beheld your full physique, his face finding its way to the crook of your neck for loving nuzzles. “Gods, when was the last time I’ve gotten to hold you like this? Every inch of you is divine--how I never wish to let go of you.”
Each word spoken was laced with need, all while his hands began to trail over your body in soft caresses, even while his fingers ached to tear off the lace that kept him away from your bare skin.
He drew away from your neck, calling out your name huskily as his eyes found yours once more. “Will you pardon this enamored fool for his selfishness during this holiday, my beloved?” His face closed the distance between yours and his as he continued, “I am going to savor this respite like nothing else--the beautiful time spent with turning you into the mother of my children.”
“Aymeric,” you moaned, feeling your knees weaken as you leaned further against him. What more could you even say at this point when he had you reduced to such a state by the conviction in his words alone?
While he looked all too pleased from having you already melting in his arms, his expression turned serious as he remarked, “Before we begin, I want to make this clear and certain—by no means are we doing this for the sake of Ishgard.”
His hands rested protectively upon your soft belly, his heart already thrumming with excitement to witness your stomach grow rounder and full with his child upon the months to follow. “As you know, starting a family with you has been something I’ve craved the moment you captured my heart.”
Aymeric brought his lips to yours for a kiss most tender. “We’re doing this out of our own shared volition--the House of Lords finally granting me respite so I can claim you over and over was just a blessing from Halone herself.”
Already overwhelmed and dazed by your husband’s intense and loving resolve, all you could let out was a breathless yet eager, “Yes...our shared will.”
A smile quirked onto his lips. “And so we shall share our love with no restraint.”
And then Aymeric’s lips smothered yours for a kiss that was most far from chaste.
Away from the window, towards the bed.
From bathing moonlight to flickering candles.
The kiss shared with your husband was broken for a moment, just so he could gently have you lay upon the bed.
But the moment Aymeric assumed his place on top of you, he became a man possessed.
A man possessed by his love for you, by his desire to claim your body with his seed.
He meant his words from earlier, his hands tearing into the lace of your chemise like gift wrap.
The composed and regal speaker of the House of Lords was nowhere to be found by the way Aymeric hungrily sought out your lips, his hands fondling your supple breasts, his mouth watering at the thought of soon getting to suckle on your nipples and lavish your core with the needy flicks of his tongue while your thick thighs squeezed around his head.
The fumbling yet earnest virgin during the first time you were intimate together was but a precious memory at this point.
Instead, here was a man who knew exactly what to do to elicit the sweet moans of his name off of your lips.
To make you mewl with each teasing pinch and indulgent kiss to your nipples.
To cause your back to arch in sheer pleasure with the obscenely noisy manner he stroked your sopping core with his tongue, all while his hands happily fondled your plump thighs as they remained pressed against either side of his head.
But that knowledge was how he kept you ever on the edge, making sure you remained a step away from your orgasm.
Never to be outright malicious--such would be an outright sin to commit against you as your husband!
Rather, to ready your body for the long and indulgent night to come.
He did not even spare a moment for you to savor his cock with your mouth, keeping you right on your back.
Long had he waited for this moment, and he was going to save every dribble of his cum inside of you instead.
Your lips parted for breathless pants, your cheeks kissed with red heat, your thighs quivering with anticipation once your husband was finally sheathing the full heavy length of his cock into your core.
The delighted hiss of your name from Aymeric’s lips would be forever imprinted in your memory, as would the tremendous pressure he soon exerted as he soon worked the tempo of his thrusts into something swift in its neediness and fierce in its fervor.
One hand locked onto your hip as he plunged his cock into you, the other reached for your breast to squeeze before he planted his lips onto your nipple once more, his mind already anticipating when he would be able to gulp down mouthfuls of sweet milk once you were showing with his child.
Such an experience had him pushing into your core with even greater intensity, of which dragged out yet another lovely squeal from your lips.
He could not resist from grinning, even with his mouth full of your breast.
Onwards he continued, the viciousness of his thrusts sounding out by the indecent slaps of his balls against your ass each time his cock plunged inside of you.
So free, so unrestrained.
Aymeric felt alive, he felt deeply in love.
His lips left your nipple with a pop as he lifted his head, driven by the desire to catch sight of the look on your face as he felt his orgasm approach, all while your slick core milked his cock even more with your own imminent release.
The helpless pleads for more of his touch, the obscenely yearning look of desire on your face.
Halone be merciful on whatever was left of his self-restraint.
Your name was uttered out at a gutteral low from the depths of his throat.
His eyes caught yours yet again, holding onto your gaze as his thrusts quickened in his frantic need for release.
“My beloved, you already enamor me so with those elegant curves of yours--”
You felt the drag of his hand along your body, cupping your breasts, caressing your sides, trailing longingly over your belly.
“--but then, when I think of you strolling through Ishgard, shining with a maternal glow as you carry around our child…!”
A visible shudder seized hold of his body, his teeth clenching with pleasure as he readied himself for what was soon to come, a reaction mirrored by you as you prepared for your own orgasm.
“By the Fury, I will not let you out of this bed until your womb is absolutely flooded with my seed!”
With a snarl, Aymeric captured your lips in a scorching kiss as he pounded into your core harder, hot sticky spurts of his seed soon being pumped into you with each thrust that continued on and on afterwards.
Your arms hugged around his neck, pulling him close as the two of you relished in your orgasms, the two of you smiling into your kiss.
Tonight would be the first of many spent away from Ishgard, but oh how the two of you hoped to return to your home together with a newfound soul in your belly.
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Find a Reason to Smile
pairing: choi san x reader
summary: you help an amnesiac named san find his way back home, and in return he helps you find a reason to always smile.
genre: sci-fi, dystopian au, horror, angst, language
words: 16.9k
warnings: excessive violence, blood, mental instability, mentions of smut.
The wind and rain felt like tiny little pricks against your skin and hair as you hastily rode back home on your yellow bicycle. Dark clouds blanketed the coastal town of yours, washing it an eerie, yet somewhat comforting darkness. Despite the gloomy weather, your mood was still beaming due to just wrapping up the last exam of your third year in university.
The streets were almost nearly vacant in this part of town, thankfully. You slowed down slightly whilst crossing roads and intersections, puddles of water splashing harshly against your shoes. Your hair clung onto your face, and a few strands flew into your mouth and eyes as you turned corner after corner. You flinched as the sound of thunder shook the ground underneath you. The street lamps and illuminated street signs flickered rapidly, and a flash of lightning followed shortly afterwards.
Your mind only registered what just occurred after a few seconds too late. A flash right in front of you blinded your sight, and a big lump of a body strewn on the wet cement crossed paths with your bicycle, causing you to fly and skid across the concrete a few feet away from the initial impact.
Hissing under your breath as pebbles dug into your broken flesh of your palms and knees, you glanced up and groaned, completely confused as to what made you lose your balance. You were positive there was nothing but empty space there a few seconds ago. The rain was heavy, but not enough to blind you. Your head throbbed, and you were sure bruises were already forming.
Your breath was caught in your throat at the sight of a man lying beside your bike, clutching his side and emitting grunts of pain, his frame writhing. The man could make out a few words through the hazy fog of his mind,"Mist...okay..."
"Mister..are...okay?"
"Mister, are you okay?"
You scrambled up onto your feet, mind frazzled and bewildered,”I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t see you there! I- ..what were you doing lying down in the middle of the sidewalk. Oh my god, are you okay?” you blithered loudly, hands reaching down to grab onto the man’s own frail ones.
Your rambling seemed to make the man’s headache even worse, and you hastily helped him onto his feet. He was a few inches taller than you, a well built, lean frame adorned with dark clothing and a leather jacket. A striking patch of green decorated his ebony locks, which clung to his flushed face as his pained eyes bore into your own, “Where am I? Who are you?”
You visibly blanched upon hearing the male’s words, hesitant hands reaching up to clutch the air in front of you, panic soon welcoming itself into your eyes and voice, “I gave you amnesia..,” you clutched his wet, black leather jacket with desperate fists, brows knitting in distress, “Please don’t sue me! I have one more year left to graduate! I’ll help yo-“
You were thankful that no one was driving by to witness the scene, you on your wobbly legs, screaming desperately in a stranger’s face. Before you managed to finish your plead, the man’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, his frame collapsing onto your own jittery one. Yelping in fright, your hands flew to steady his body, which felt cold and deadweight in your arms. You rested your fingers against his jugular, your shoulders deflating in relief at the prominent heartbeat.
Spending the night of your last day of the semester was intended to be scheduled with partying, watching movies, going out with acquaintances, but fate decided to grant you a man who popped out of whatever that flash was, only to faint in your arms in broad daylight, feet away from your apartment complex, and rain drops creating frequent ripples in the puddles surrounding you two.
You were paranoid that somehow you’d be imprisoned or fined if you called the police for giving a stranger a possible concussion, so the next best thing you came up with is to take said stranger back to your apartment, wrapping him up in several towels and lying him down onto the couch. Droplets of rain cascaded down his high cheekbones, and onto your leather sofa, but that was the least of your concern at the moment. You debated whether or not to call your mother for help. She will certainly give you an earful if she found out you allowed a stranger into your own home.
As you were in the process of constructing a reasonable sounding text, a groan escaped the man’s mouth as he reached up to press the heel of his palm onto his forehead. You panicked at the sight, frame stiffening as the male sat up slowly, pausing to gaze at you in confusion. He tilted his head, eyes blinking in curiosity. His dark orbs studied your form, flickering around to examine his surroundings before turning back to you, “Hello?”
You offered an awkward smile, shrugging your shoulders and putting your phone down, “Uh.. hi. I’m (y/n). Are you feeling better, Mister? Do you remember anything?”
His dark eyes glanced around the room once again, before looking down at his wet attire and hands. He peered at his reflection from the mirror across from him and turned to you with a look of distress, “I don’t seem to recall anything other than when you crashed into me. By any chance, do I know you? Do you know who I am?”
There were a few moments in your life you were proud of. Few, meaning you can count them with one hand. This was not one of them. You found yourself crying in the middle of your apartment, with a complete stranger attempting to comfort and console you, when in fact he was the one who most likely needed it most. He smiled sheepishly, his attempt at consoling you only twinging a bit of hope in the pit of your stomach. He explained that it wasn’t logical for you to be the cause of his amnesia, due to the fact that you only managed to hurt his side as opposed to his head. You winced at the memory, nodding shamefully and offering him some ointment for the mark on his side, courteously left by the wheel of your bicycle. About half an hour of ceaseless reassurance from the man, you managed to regain your composure, asking him if he had some sort of identification.
To your disappointment, and his also, there was no source of information to identify him with. Pockets empty, no phone in sight either. You ran a hand through your hair, eyes downcast as you scrambled to think of plan b, only to catch sight of the the marking behind the man’s left ear. You raised a brow, leaning forward and tilting your head, startling the male from the sudden proximity,”You have a tattoo? San? Is that your name?”
There doesn’t seem to be any spark of recognition in the man’s eyes as you say the name, but he scratches the nape of his neck sheepishly,”I am honestly not too sure, but it’s safe to assume that it is? I’m sorry, I wish I could just remember one thing at least..”
You offered him a smile of pity, shaking your head to disagree with him,“That’s okay, San. I’m sure we’ll figure something out. In the meantime, you should change before you end up getting sick. I think my clothes will fit you somewhat. It’s the least I can do for crashing into you. Is that okay?”
“Ah, thank you,” you nodded at him to proceed,”I appreciate it. Do you mind if I stay here until the rain stops?”
You dug through numerous names of people named San on social media within your town, but you had no luck in finding a match. If your parents knew you kept a complete stranger in your home out of pity, they would’ve called you a lunatic.
He was very bashful about the offer to stay the night, denying it at first and telling you he’ll find his way somehow. Days later, you spotted him sleeping on one of the bus benches near your apartment as you made your way to the convenience store. He was reluctant at first, but finally agreed to stay for a short term with you.
You hadn’t even meant to but the poor guy had nowhere to go, no money on hand, and no memories whatsoever. What a predicament to be in.
Several days passed, and you’ve yet to tell your anyone of the incident that occurred that spring night.
It was no lie that over the course of several weeks of summer, the man had grown onto you. San was extremely humble, aiding you in any way he found possible. He took charge of cleaning, cooking, and even ironing your clothes on some days. The days when you had work, you would come home to find the apartment sparkling, and the smell of dinner wafting through the entirety of the small complex.
There were a few strange quirks you’ve noticed about him, though. For starters, he called the planet Earth, Utopia. You sat down for a good half hour over dinner one night, arguing back and forth regarding the name, but he just couldn’t explain why he thought that, and where that piece of information came from. He flung a pea at your nose as you pulled out several maps on your phone, proving your point, a pout resting on his features as he gave up his argument.
You were mildly paranoid that San was secretly a slimy alien disguised as a handsome, young man, from a different planet who somehow dropped down onto Earth, but you pushed that thought away several days later when he showed zero signs of being extra terrestrial. ( You forced him to sit down through reruns of alien related films, gauging and studying his reactions only to disprove your conclusion when he grimaced and complained he didn’t like the concept of aliens. )
However, he always seemed fascinated by the twinkling stars at night, occasionally asking if you’d like to sit and watch them, instead of movies, every now and then.
He enjoyed warm cups of tea as the cool breeze from outside fluttered into the apartment, the two of you pointing out which constellations you recognized.
—
“This is cute,try it on!" you threw a fuzzy, white sweater at San over the door of the changing room.
He took it off his head and inspected it, eyes blinking rapidly. He then threw it back,"It seems itchy."
"Come on! How about this?"
"The color is reminiscent of the time you threw up the leftover sushi.”
"Just say it’s an ugly shade of green and shut up," you grumbled, stomach flipping at the mere thought of the incident that occurred days prior. This wasn’t the first time he bought it up, only to laugh and tease you for it when you quickly shut him down.
San, albeit surprisingly being a playful and mischievous guy, was very modest and humble when it came to your shopping trips. Guilt would wash his features as he argued about you spending money on him for clothes and other necessities, often making excuses of why he didn’t want the items you chose for him, but you never missed the sparkle in his eyes as he placed the articles of clothing back on the racks.
He would pull items from your hands before you had the chance to purchase them for him, sometimes starting embarrassing scenes in various stores. When you have him a hard time, he would cling onto your arm, whining into your ear and attempt to pull you out of the store.
You did get kicked out of a plushie store that one time in which you accidentally kicked over one of the shelves while wrestling over a shiba inu plushie, tipping it over only slightly, but just enough for stacks of puppy plushies to fall into a heap on the floor.
He would often scold you when he finds the same item he’d been ogling laying innocently onto his makeshift bed in the tiny living room. San profusely apologized for being a nuisance to you and your wallet, and every time, you threatened to wrestle him down to take back his words.
“You said you wanted this one, and you’d name him Shiber. So give him a proper welcome to our home.”
He did ask to help him find a job, but you insisted you were fine with spending your money on him for the next month. Tuition and books were not a problem thanks to your scholarship, rent wasn’t too high, and you didn’t even own a car for you to spend money on gas. You also had several years of saving up from numerous jobs to help you put your mind at ease, but that did not stop the gnawing feeling of guilt that succumbed San every time you traded your money for something to give him.
You did take him to see a specialist, and he’d gone under several tests and examinations, but all the test results came back normal. There was no indication of head trauma, and he was very healthy for his age, which you two assumed to be in his early to mid twenties.
Nobody in town recognized him when you two had your weekly shopping trips, either.
He did promise to only spend two months with you and go about his way, if he managed to recover his memories. If not, he would land a job while you returned back to university for your senior year.
You never did tell him, but you left your bedroom door ajar ever so slightly to gaze at him in sympathy during the nights he woke up restless, silently staring out the window of the living room, arms clutching Shiber to his chest tightly for comfort. You knew he didn’t enjoy feeling lost and helpless, even if he never liked to admit it. His eyes held a heavy, silent sadness, one so deep that you think not even time will mend.
Learning to read and understand San came naturally and seamlessly. You caught every flicker of his eyes, every change in his tone, and every expression he makes. Every twitch of his lips did not go unnoticed by you.
He soon warmed up to your comforting presence, much like the summer weather.
"Ahhh! It burns!"
You fell in a tangled mess of sheets and limbs, startled by a screech. You were acutely aware of the pain blossoming onto your bottom as you landed ungracefully on your wooden floor. Beams of sunlight shone brightly in your room, welcoming the new day.
"San! Are you okay!?”
You piped hurriedly, stumbling up to rush towards the male, tangled sheets clinging around your ankle, your hair a mess and eyes puffy from sleep.
You failed to notice a roll of toilet paper flying towards your head.
The impact startled you, heart leaping in your throat at the sudden attack, your adrenaline pumping through your veins as you raised your arms for defense.
It was San on the bathroom doorway, mouth red and puffy and eyes glassy with unshed tears.
"Where the hell did you get this mouthwash? It's like I'm swishing fire in my mouth!" he cried, profusely rubbing at his mouth the back of his sleeve. He grumbled, turning around to lightly slap the bottle of green liquid on the bathroom countertop, fidgeting around and running his hands through his hair in exasperation.
"Fucking hell, San. You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“I nearly burned my tongue off, but thanks for asking!”
You dropped your head in your hands, contemplating your life choices for a few seconds before walking back to your bedroom to get an hour more of undisturbed sleep.
Summer was nearing an end, and the two of you fell into a simple routine. He would iron your work clothes the night before, wake up early to cook a light breakfast, and help you tidy up for your day.
You had joked one day, asking if his profession was a chef due to his great cooking skills.
“Maybe you’re secretly rich and hired me as your personal chef, but we argued one day, and you hit me so hard with a pan that I lost my braincells, and-“
You quickly stuffed his mouth with a loaf of bread to shush him up. He blinked, flabbergasted at the sudden intrusion, before hastily swiping a jam covered finger onto your cheek in retaliation.
Not only was he talented at cooking great food, but he was also amazing at styling hair.
He scoffed as a stubborn strand of your tresses curled up from the nearly perfect hairstyle he struggled to create. Licking his lips, he pressed them into a thin line as he leaned forward, gel slicked hands working meticulously to smoothen out your locks,”San, I work at a coffee shop, not at a fashion agency. Don’t you think this is a bit much?” your back ached from being stuck in the same position for nearly forty minutes.
He ignored your comment, scolding you for attempting to distract him, eyes trained onto redoing the intricate braid in your hair, adding several tiny diamond clips, and a golden ribbon lacing through your locks. You tilted your head at an angle, struggling to catch sight of his beautiful work in the mirror, your eyes practically twinkling in delight at the sight.
“San, you’re so talented! I should’ve hired you as my hairdresser months ago,” you marveled happily.
His heart leaped in his throat, much like the acrobats he’s seen in movies, whilst you crushed him into a tight hug. He stared down at the crown of your head, jaw slackening and eyes growing wide at the first physical gesture of affection you’ve ever given him. His frame felt like it was doused in gasoline and lit on fire, but before he had the chance to ask himself why, he caught sight of his reflection. His ears were an embarrassing shade of pink, like the tiny cosmos he helped you grow on the balcony. He hoped you hadn’t noticed.
A gentle smile found itself onto his features as he raised a respectful hand to the dip of your back, returning the hug fondly, his lids fluttering shut as he basks in the moment of having you cling onto him. This was better than hugging Shiber, he noted to himself.
“I’ll do it for as long as time allows it,” he curls a strand of your hair around his pointer finger, before delicately pinning it behind your ear, his gaze unfaltering as his eyes bore into your own.
A comfortable silence fell between the two of you, and you simpered at his bashful expression,”I’ll see you tonight, then. No need to cook anything, either. Today we’ll try out the new barbecue place across town, yeah?” His eyes widened, your bright tone snapping him out of his dazed state, eyeing you in mild embarrassment for staring much too long than deemed necessary. He pulled away abruptly, hands busy attending to the brushes and combs across the counter, anything that was within his grasp really– the green patch of hair concealing his eyes from your sight,”Y-yeah. I’ll be ready when you come back home,” he responded, voice meek and delicate as he flashed you a small grin.
His tender smile was reminiscent of spring mornings: fresh, warm, and welcoming.
—
The oil sizzled as you gently laid down a slice of chicken onto the grill, your hands startling as tiny droplets of oil met the flesh of your hands. The steel tongs fell from your grip, mouth pulled back as you emit a hiss of pain, your other hand flying to rub away at the burning sensation.
Delicate hands wrapped around your own, the pads of his fingers rubbing soothing circles onto your skin, his eyes holding a weight of disappointment,”I told you, you’re supposed to do it gently, or else you’ll splash yourself with all that oil, dummy.”
“I was being gentle!” you shot back, only for your words to die down into a small whisper once you locked your eyes with his. Clearing your throat, you pulled your hands away from his hold, allowing your tresses to frame your face in hopes of concealing the blossoming pink of your cheeks. ”Alright, I’ll be more cautious next time,” you added quickly, picking at the side dishes with your chopsticks, sheepishly avoiding his teasing stare.
You couldn’t quite pinpoint when exactly San’s gazes affected you the way they did now.
They left a soft, bubbly feeling inside the pit of your stomach, reminding you of his favorite powder scented laundry detergent he became very fond of.
“It cleans Shiber’s fur better than the lavender one.”
You didn’t know why you now noticed small quirks of his that you found attractive.
The way his skin dips as he smiles, displaying the cutest set of dimples you’ve ever set your eyes on. The way his eyes glimmer at the sight of a new episode of his favorite tv series. The way his voice rises an octave in excitement at a clear night sky, displaying twinkling diamonds over the town.
And also the tiny freckles that were beautifully paraded thanks to his v-neck shirts. The mole on his cheek. Or when he gnaws his bottom lip in concentration when either cooking or attempting to rid his shirts of a stubborn wrinkle.
The way the veins in his arms are more pronounced whilst he cooks up your favorite dish, or when his muscles ripple as he reaches up for something on the shelves.
And the sound of his contagious laugh as you proposed the idea of him becoming your roommate and helping him hunt for a job, despite having no known credentials or work experience as soon as you move to Seoul.
Initially, you didn’t think much of these small seeds of attraction you felt towards him. It wasn’t a crush. You were merely fond of his cute, clingy behavior.
You ignored them when they sprouted.
And now it seems they have blossomed, and you think there’s no denying it anymore, however you decided for the sake of the steady and well-built friendship, you’ll bury those feelings in a small, dark corner of your mind, tucked safe and away from prying eyes, specifically his.
“(Y/n)?”
You jumped in your seat, eyes widening and a ghost of a breath escaping your parted lips as you crashed back down to reality. San’s eyes were furrowed in concern at your silence, his hand hovering over the grill, tongs stretched and ready to latch onto the meat. You were quick to whip out an apology, offering him a sheepish grin,”Sorry, did you say something?”
He jabbed a thumb to the flat screen t.v, quickly changing the subject to save you from further embarrassment,”They’re talking about University of Seoul. Isn’t that the one you’re planning on transferring to next month?”
Physics Professors of US, Dr. Jung and assistant Dr. Kang, announce successful test in the relation between their theory of quantum physics and alternate reality; They say the world is ready to witness something grand.
You glanced at the long headline, eyes then trailing up to the news anchor, and then back to San. A black haired professor began an interview with the hosts over video call, but you soon tuned it out disinterestedly while spooning a few grains of rice and seasoned seaweed, only pausing mid-bite as you noticed the twinkling reflection of the lightbulbs in tear drops falling from San’s eyes as he stared silently at the screen.
“San? Are you okay?”
He quirked a brow in confusion, only then following your line of vision towards his side of the table. Peering down at the droplets, he raised dainty fingers to brush against his cheeks, examining the wetness as he pulled away, confusion decorating his features,“Oh? I’m crying?”
You settled your spoon down, eyes, filled to the brim with concern, roaming to study his features, and for the first time since you met him, you couldn’t read the expression on his face, couldn’t decipher what he was feeling. Your appetite suddenly dissipated, worry filling hunger’s place instead,”Is something the matter? You can tell me, you know?”
The lights in the restaurant flickered continuously, tv screens pixelating and distorting. Customers and the employees paused their ministrations to look around in confusion.
Your face glitched and pixelated, and his eyes widened at the sight.
Go back home!
As if watching a poorly captured, grainy video, he suddenly found himself in a pitch black room. He was aware he was standing above a fallen figure, even with the lack of light. A beam suddenly flashed down upon him, casting a dim ring of light around his frame. His pupils dilated and quivering at the sight of the pale visage void of any signs of life staring blankly at him from the bloody mess on the floor. Upon closer inspection, he realized the corpse he was staring down at was an exact replica of himself, face gaunt and frozen with terror stricken eyes.
Go back home, San. I’m so sorry.
The corpse’s ghostly face blurred and pixelated, before he felt lips press against his own, a giggle following shortly after. His breath caught in his throat as he gaped down at your smiling figure,”Of course, I’ll marry you, Sannie. Who else would I want to spend the rest of my life with?”
Home.
And then you vanished in fade of colors, your body dissipating with the breeze.
Everything came to a gentle still.
Suddenly, the sight of a fist gripping a gleaming syringe rushing towards his direction and painfully digging into his wrist—
He jumped, startled knees crashing into the underside of the table, the utensils clattering upon impact, making you also jolt in place, hands hastily reaching up to clamp onto your chest in surprise.
“San!”
Unbeknownst to him, something akin to severe horror flashed within his orbs for a millisecond, silent terror haunting the dark depths of his eyes as his gaze flickered from the tv screen to your face, the ambiance of the restaurant becoming nothing more than a faint, muted buzz in the background.
You were alarmed by the sudden rapid rise and fall of his chest, shallow breathing overlapping with the sounds of utensils clattering in the background.
“San? San, tell me what’s wrong.”
He took a moment to assess your expression, hesitantly shaking his head moments later, voice small, hands fidgeting with his chopsticks, before reaching up to grasp the sides of his head, suddenly unaware as to why his hands were trembling,”I don’t know? I don’t know why I’m crying, (y/n). I have a terrible migraine too.”
You were quick to send a glare at the nosy customers who took a sudden interest in you and your friend, eyes narrowing in triumph as they hastily averted their gazes.
“Do you think I’m having an allergic reaction to something?” you heard San mumble into his palm.
You weren’t sure how to answer him.
“Yeah, maybe.. it’s the radish?”
You don’t think you’ve ever seen sheer, raw terror in one’s eyes like that before.
That look on his face will forever haunt you.
Weeks later, that night was buried away along with the other nights you’ve spent with San in your coastal town. He helped you pack your belongings, taping box after box as the two of you prepared to move inland into the city for your final year of university.
San surprised you two days after you moved into your new, spacious apartment with the announcement that he obtained a job at a local floral shop just down the street, owned by two friends, Jongho and Yunho. You blanched as soon as he informed you that he explained to them he had no idea of his identity and held no official documents, but had a knack for delicate and intricate styling of materials, ranging from flowers, to food, and hair. He even challenged them to a bouquet arrangement match.
“Is that seriously how you convinced them? No fingerprints or anything? No documents? How will they pay you? You can’t just go around telling people you lost your memories, San. What if someone takes advantage of you?” you chided gently, brows creasing as you worked at adjusting one of the paintings on the wall.
He feigned a pout, fingers reaching to brush a strand of hair from your eyes,”And here I thought you’ll say let’s go out to celebrate. Are you not proud of me? I’m getting paid in cash to avoid the documentation requirements, if that’s what’s bothering you. I told you I need to start helping with the bills,” he crossed his arms, back resting against the wall and head turned the other direction as he silently sulked.
You didn’t know if that was even legal, but you decided to brush it off at the sight of his crestfallen expression, your hands quickly finding their way to his own, grasping them and giving them a gentle squeeze,”Of course we’ll celebrate! Over drinks and barbecue!”
If the Sun had feelings, you were sure it would feel a massive amount of envy towards the male in front of you, with the way his face shined and glowed with every smile that reached his handsome features. Your heart will never become accustomed to the sunshine-like smile, no matter how many times he beams at you like that.
A month flew by as quickly as the leaves changed color during autumn, and soon, you two found yourselves constantly huddled underneath a large blanket, hands holding steaming mugs of tea while you watched new movies his co-workers recommended him. You smiled fondly at his excited announcement of finding a new movie to share with you. Your heart swelled at the sound of his giggling throughout the film.
You confided to him after one particular movie regarding homesickness, suddenly finding yourself tearing up at the thought of your old town and apartment and how much you missed them.
He prodded your cheek in a playful manner, tapping away your tears with a tissue before running a soothing palm onto the back of your head,”You just have to find a reason to smile. It won’t fix the problem per say, but it’ll make the situation easier for you until you find a solution,” he mused,”Like me, for example! I don’t have a clue about who I was or am, or where I came from, but you’re the reason I still smile.”
Your brows rose up high at his words, and you couldn’t tell if the flush on your face was the result of crying anymore. You also felt ashamed all of a sudden, realizing your situation wasn’t nearly as bad as his,”I make you happy?”
“Of course you do,” he chuckled, hands patting his chest proudly,”I don’t have to be reason for you to smile, though. Maybe it can be that big star that twinkles every night out your window, or the smell of that nice bakery down the street.”
Your stomach fluttered.
“You make me smile more than anything and anyone, San.”
Some days, he’ll come home to find you face first in one of your heavy books, hand still gripping your pen while a monotonous voice from your laptop plays out throughout the kitchen. He chided your sleeping form as he picked you up, carrying you to your bedroom and huffing when you immediately snuggled into your sheets and pillows,”What will you ever do without me, dummy.”
The third month in, and you eventually became accustomed to the new environment, city, people, and university. It was a lot larger in comparison to your previous one, and it accommodated not only local students, but international ones as well. You were offered an internship with one of the university’s top leading music professors, and you contemplated accepting the offer or not for months. It worked out in your favor, though. San had a stable job now. You weren’t as worried about your finances as much as you were before, you were enjoying your last year of studies, your apartment was spacious enough to fit the both of you, and it wasn’t too far from your university either.
Your manifestations of a simple and happy life became reality, and there was no room left to complain.
There was one problem though.
You learned that San was not to be trusted with money. He either spent it on food or yourself. You begged, pleaded, and chided repeatedly that you really did not need every color of the sweater you liked at the shop, or the fancy teacup you saw at the market, but he insisted on buying them all,”But all these colors suit you! Besides, it’s getting too cold, you need to dress warmly!”
Saturday night he presented you with a glittering, amethyst necklace. You paled at the sight, cheeks stuffed with the remaining spoonfuls of dinner as you gazed from your plate, to the necklace, and then back to his face,”You didn’t. San, not again..” you shook your head.
At your words, he rolled his eyes, scoffing and skidding his chair as he stood up to walk towards you,“You have the audacity to complain? Have you forgotten you’ve bought all my clothes and kept me well fed over the summer?” he leaned over your frame, polite hands clasping the necklace around the column of your neck, grinning in satisfaction as it glimmered underneath the fluorescent lights,”You make it even more beautiful than it already is, (y/n).”
He gasped as you choked on the remnants of your food, hands hastily slapping your back in aid, loud voice bouncing against the walls of the apartment, scolding you for not being careful enough with your food.
One night, he came home pleading for you to visit the amusement park that opened in town. San knew that one certain look of his that made your resolve crumble into nothing but a heap of emptiness within a matter of seconds, and that jerk used it to his advantage every damn time. And it worked every damn time. You were ashamed of how easily you fell for his tricks, but in most circumstances, it was worth it.
If one day, the Sun were to cease existing, it will be okay, because San’s smile is its greatest rival.
You swore San’s eyes twinkled brighter than any of the stars in the night sky. Happiness looked best on San. He had bits of cotton candy still stuck on his cupid’s bow, pockets filled to maximum capacity with tickets. You couldn’t help but emit a snort of amusement at his behavior as he dragged you from booth to booth, demanding you to a challenge every time.
He was the embodiment of happiness and sunshine, all things soft and delicate. He begged you to enter the photo booths with him, and then proceeded to have a bet on who can win the most prizes.
“I’m telling you, these games are all rigged. I just know it,” you grumbled angrily, harshly chomping down onto a handful of popcorn.
He peeked up, arms struggling to carry the amount of plushies and prizes he won. A green hat sat on his head comfortably, his eyes teasing as you placed a few pieces of popcorn into his gaping mouth,”Sorry, couldn’t hear you from all the plushies I’m holding. What did you say?”
“San, that makes absolutely no sense.”
“I know, you’re just fun to tease.”
He managed to win at nearly every game you played, and you gaped in disbelief as he won at the fishing game for the fifth time in a row. Crossing your arms, you turned around, hand sticking up to shush him as he called your name,”Rigged!”
You felt something cold and hard poke your cheek, and you turned to be met with a pouty rubber duck that was much too close for comfort. He repeated the action, along with a soft quack, and you attempted to swat his prize toy away from him, only for him to mimic the duck’s expression, your heart nearly falling to your feet at the sight,”Don’t be angry. I promise I’ll let you win next time.”
Having San work at a floral shop meant being gifted with a new flower every day.
He would beg you to stop writing in your notebook just to listen to him ramble on about what a certain flower meant, and so forth. Curse Jongho for getting him into this sort of thing, but you couldn’t deny the fact he appeared so endearing while blabbering passionately about why he thinks white roses aren’t meant to be related to death, or why cosmos deserve more love after Yunho trash talked them one day.
“Jongho, what are you doing?” San asked one day, arms placing the new shipment of glass vases down in the corner of the room. Yunho peeked up from tying a ribbon onto a pink bouquet, snickering at the sight of Jongho ripping petal after petal of a yellow flower.
“He wants to know if the girl that visits the shop every Friday likes him back,” Yunho teased, ducking as a piece of floral foam was thrown in his direction.
San leaned over Jongho’s shoulder to study the flower inquisitively, eyes wide and curious,”How do you determine that?” Jongho’s miffed expression soon was replaced with a stoic one as he explained to San how it works,”So, all I have to do is pluck them and whichever is the last one..”
Jongho nodded, elbowing the ebony haired male in the chest,”Are you thinking about the girl you live with?”
San’s flustered expression gave him away. He hid the white daisy behind his back defensively, shrugging his shoulders and announcing he has to get back to work. Jongho and Yunho shot knowing smiles at his retreating figure.
“She loves me not. She loves me. She loves me not.”
Hiding behind a stack of boxes, San was finally at the last petal, his fingers hovering above it with widened eyes and parted lips,”She loves me.”
You were too engrossed in editing an audio file, that the sight of a gerbera daisy flying into your face startled you nearly to death. San laughed as you yelped in fright, hands immediately ripping the headphones from your ears, before repeatedly smacking his hip in anger,”Are you trying to give me a heart attack!” you hissed in frustration.
He placed the daisy behind your ear and leaned back up to examine his work,”So pretty.”
You didn’t know whether he was referring to the flower or yourself, but either way, that didn’t stop your ears from flaring up.
A month later, you managed to survive the exams, and your second to last semester came to an end. The university held a party a week later in celebration, just before winter holiday, and you asked San over dinner if he’d like to attend. He shyly denied it at first, saying he never learned how to dance, but you insisted you wouldn’t have to if it made him uncomfortable,”We can just relax and eat the food there. I promise it’ll be fun!”
You wore a well fitted, knee length black dress, and insisted on San wearing something formal as well, much to his displeasure. He reached a hand to readjust his tie for the umpteenth time that night, glowering at your snickering form,”Oh stop, you’ll mess it up. You look perfectly fine.”
“Fine? Is that all I get?” he prodded your cheek, playful lilt to his tone,”You should pay me, Prince San, for attending this party with you. I will only accept cash or kisses.”
His grin stretched further as you stumbled on your words, a faint scowl reaching your features as you thwacked him on the chest lightly,”Stop being embarrassing!”
You loved his teasing.
He knew you did, and curse him for taking every opportunity to make you a blushing, babbling mess, especially in public. The university’s courtyard couldn’t be recognized from the dangerous amount of people within the area, music blasting off in several directions, and drinks and food being served left and right.
San shot you a smile as he noticed the glimmering pendant resting on your collarbones,”Did you want to dance, (y/n)?”
You glanced at him curiously, head tilting back as you took a sip of your soda,”I thought you were too shy to dance in public?”
“That’s where you’re not wrong,” he chuckled, taking you by the wrist and behind one of the building’s corners. People still walked by, but there was a curtain of privacy that provided him with a subtle boost of confidence. He mimicked the princes in his favorite movies, head bowing and offering you his hand, to which you laughed and accepted. Your arms rested against his firm chest, lithe fingers curling onto his shoulders as his hands hesitantly found their way to rest onto the dip of your waist,”I don’t know if I’m doing this right.”
“I can’t believe we’re slow dancing to club music,” you couldn’t help but laugh, head thrown back in glee as San took stiff, unsure movements, a sheepish smile gracing his features as he ducked his head shyly, his earrings glimmering underneath the moonlight.
“It’s the only dance that seemed easy enough online,” he mumbled, unsure of his movements now that he held you in his arms,”I watched five videos.”
You flashed him a grin, pausing slightly to lean forward onto your toes, pressing a chaste kiss onto his cheek,”You’re doing so well. You never cease to impress me, San.”
You watched his jaw go slack, hands now hovering over your waist as he peers at you unsurely. For a split second, you were worried if you crossed the line, however, he released a chortle of amusement, leaning down to press his lips flush against your forehead,”And to you the same, dearest (y/n).”
The party was nearing an end, and you smiled fondly as San pouted beside you, watching someone take the last slice of chocolate cake on one the large tables. You took his hand, walking a few steps and ushering to another table across the courtyard,”That’s okay! I know another table with dessert. Maybe there’s—“
“San?”
The two of you paused, catching sight of a man only a few feet away, whose eyes were wide behind the pair of bronze rimmed spectacles. His shaggy, black tresses curled beautifully over his eyes, a mole prominent underneath one of his orbs. His mouth was ajar as he stared at the two of you, your interlocked hands, and then specifically onto you. You quirked a brow, noting how his eyes lingered a second too long onto your chest, making you shift uncomfortably beside San.
With long and quick strides, San was ripped from your embrace and into the other male’s chest as he crushed him into a hug.
San gazed at you pleadingly, seemingly uncomfortable with the sudden gesture of affection from the stranger, his arms glued to his sides, unsure whether or not he should return the hug,”Where have you been? I haven’t seen you since May! How can you just disappear into thin air without telling any of us?”
Your eyes widened at the information, and suddenly, the strange stares you two have gotten from your peers here made sense now. Ever since you walked into campus with San by your side, you’ve received curious and confused glances. And here you thought people were only shocked at how handsome the male that accompanied you was.
San could only stare in shock at the other male, his eyes searching an. searching for any flicker of familiarity, only for his shoulders to sag down as he found not a spark whatsoever,”You know me?” his voice was small and almost breathless.
The other male’s longing gaze morphed into a confused expression whilst he peels away from your friend, head tilting and brows furrowing in thought,”What do you mean? It’s me! Wooyoung. We’re childhood friends. You were a professor here. We worked on a project together before you ran away.”
You didn’t know whether to intervene or not, not knowing if it was your place to even speak on behalf of San. He peeked at you in question, and you nodded albeit your shocked state, understanding his silent question,”I’m sorry. I don’t recall any of that information. I’ve been living with (y/n) here. It seems as though I’ve lost all of my memories prior to meeting her.”
The black haired male’s eyes flickered between the two of you, and he points an accusing finger at San, a boisterous laugh falling from his plump lips, “Nice one. Don't tell me you ran away to be with your secret girlfriend, Sannie. Was the project too much pressure on you? You could’ve told me you know?”
When San’s confused expression didn’t change, Wooyoung’s bright expression faltered, smile falling into a concerned frown.
“Is it true? He doesn’t remember me?”
Your head perked up at the sudden attention that was now on you, a look of pity falling onto your features as you nodded silently,”Yes. I met San in Hwaseong months ago. I transferred and moved here recently. We’ve been searching for months about his identity. Was he not reported missing?”
Wooyoung blinked at your sudden question, shaking his head and emitting a sigh, gazing at his friend as he spoke,”No, he didn’t exactly go missing. He left a note and ran away, saying he didn’t want to be apart of the project we worked on any longer,” he grasped San’s limp hands, tugging him forward and cocking his head in another direction,”Come with me. I’ll prove it to you! Maybe your pictures will help spark some memory, yeah?”
The campus was fairly large, and walking in heels did not aid you in the slightest. Wooyoung looked back over his shoulder and smiled sheepishly, almost apologetically,”I still haven’t organized the office, so excuse the mess you’re about to see. My assistant was supposed to meet me last week to help tidy up, but..”
He flicked on the lights, and he ushered you to one of the three desks in the room. He grabbed onto a small picture frame, handing it to San to observe,”Do you know who this person is?” Wooyoung asked softly.
You peered over San’s shoulder, gaze catching sight of the three people in the picture. It was San, Wooyoung, and a shaggy haired, blonde man whose hair was tied into a small ponytail. Your eyes widened in recognition. These were Dr. Jung and Dr. Kang, the two professors from that one interview you watched that night.
San wordlessly peered at the picture, minute after minute, and he finally sighed moments later, placing the picture frame down while shaking his head in defeat,”No. He’s not familiar either.”
You rested a hand onto San’s shoulder sympathetically, whispering reassuring words underneath your breath. He turned his head to offer you a melancholic, but grateful, smile. Wooyoung cleared his throat, brows knitting in thought,”That’s Yeosang. Our partner,” he placed pointed to another frame, one showcasing the three men swimming at the beach,”We met him four years ago, San.”
An awkward silence fell upon the three of you, and moments later, San walked around the office, fingertips brushing against multiple papers with his name and handwriting scribbled onto them,”Choi San? That’s my full name?” he said almost breathlessly,”This is all my work?”
“The one and only, Choi San,” Wooyoung nodded grimly, arms crossing over his chest as he proceeded to sit down, running a hand through his dark locks,”Wait ‘til Yeosang hears about all of this,” he moaned into his hand, before peeking up and pursing his lips in thought,”You should come back to our apartment. Your stuff is still there. It’ll be a start at getting your old life back together again?”
Your brows knitted, shoulders tense in defense, and you opened your mouth to quip back an answer, only for San to beat you to it,”I’m already staying with..” he hung his head, troubled thoughts weighing him down before he glanced at you almost apologetically,”I mean, our plan was for me to move out, after I figure something out right? It was never supposed to be long-term.”
“You can have time to think about it and work things out,” Wooyoung piped in, gaze softening at the sight of your crestfallen expression.
You attempted to contain your tears, your eyes now glassy and red. You offered a shaky smile, hand squeezing San’s reassuringly,”I don’t mind if you stay with me, San. I love having you around,” you saw Wooyoung’s head perk up in amusement,”But that doesn’t mean I’ll hold you back from returning to your home.”
San couldn’t return the smile, his lips sloped in contemplation and confliction. He shook his head to rid himself of haunting thoughts. Moments of silence later, he sighed, looking back up to meet the hopeful gaze of his forgotten friend,”I’ll have my stuff ready after tomorrow.”
Your heart felt heavy in your chest as Wooyoung and San continued to speak, both exchanging information and addresses.
—
The news hurt you as much as it relieved you. San, Choi San, is back where he belongs, with people he knew and grew up with. And on top of that he was a Physics professor, too?
You were happy and beyond proud of his endurance, and also proud that you had helped him this far, however, a small part of yourself, a selfish part of yourself, clawed and lashed out at the thought of losing him, even as a roommate.
Your heart ached, and a dangerous sense of bitterness bled throughout your system.
"I’m so happy for you, San,” you offered a small smile, and although the sight of him left an ache in your heart, your truly attempted to mask the pain that was settling in your veins, leaving an unpleasant taste in your mouth. “I’ll miss you. I’ll miss scolding you about tidying up your plushies, your pancakes in the morning– I.. our movies night, too. But it’s okay.. I’ll visit you, and you’ll visit me? Right? Even if we won’t live together anymore we can-“
Throughout the months he’s lived with you, you’ve failed to realize how well he’s learned to pick up on your demeanor and attitude. He reads you as easily as his favorite Harry Potter books.
“(Y/n). Stop.”
The sudden, sharp tone caused you to clamp your mouth shut.
He reached down to grip the mug of tea out of your trembling hands, his gaze then trailing up to brush against your cheek, frowning at the sight of your quivering bottom lip and misty eyes. Your teeth bit at the inside of your cheek harshly, determined to keep yourself contained.
Usually, at such proximity, you’ll turn into a fidgety, blushing mess, but the way he’s gazing tenderly down at you from your spot on the couch, you felt your heart splinter and crack in sadness. You tried your best to look at the brighter side of things, because you knew how selfish it was of you for wanting him to stay with you.
He wasn’t a stray animal that needed to be loved and protected.
He was a man with a life behind him, and denying him that would be the cruelest thing you can ever do to someone, especially one that had no idea of his past.
You were suddenly aware of his warm chest against your face, his hand carefully cradling your head ever so gently. His shirt darkened with wet patches of your tears, and it was the sight of them that made you realize you were crying. He held you as your walls broke down, brick by brick. Your small, shaky voice, muffled by his chest, still managed to shoot a wave of pain through his heart,”I don’t want you to leave me, San.”
“(Y/n),” he started, “I will never leave you. Just let me build my life back together, and after that, everything will turn back to normal.”
He caressed your messy hair, pressing faint kisses onto the crown of your head.
“We’ll get an even better apartment after you graduate and a cat named Byeol. Our balcony will be filled with all shades of cosmos, and I promise we’ll have enough space to build blanket forts for our movie nights. This is merely the beginning of it all, okay? Please don’t cry, or you’ll make me cry,” his voice was soft but reassuring, trembling in the end.
It’s funny, because here you always thought at the moment like this, when you finally found the answers San’s been looking for, that you will be the one comforting him, and not the other way around.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, words unable to leave your mouth as you pulled him in tighter, face buried against the freckled side of his neck as you nodded in silent agreement.
He held you close and tightly like this for the last two nights you had together, and every touch of his felt right against your frame.
So right, just like the last remaining puzzle piece left to finish a picture.
He held you in his arms the last night on the balcony facing the city, and he smiled at the sight of the twinkling diamonds in the night sky. He squeezes you tightly, breath against the crown of your head as he promises to always be with you as long as there are stars in the sky.
“Let’s find a reason to smile, yeah?”
—
Days passed without a word from San, and you grew increasingly upset. You struggled so hard to hold onto the promise he left you with, but with every missed call or ignored text, it became even harder than you had originally thought. You tried to make use of days of winter holiday by tidying up your apartment, a bitter frown etching your features when you pull something out from underneath the couch cushions or in a tight corner that belonged to San.
The day before Christmas, he finally called you, apologizing profusely and informing you that he was so busy with both Wooyoung and Yeosang, both of whom were credited for proving their claims of an alternate dimension existing beyond your world. San rambled over the phone about the project they wanted him to help with, and you weren’t sure if that was a good idea at the moment. You wanted him to prioritize healing first, but you didn’t want to crush his happiness, and you opted not mentioning it at all.
He asked if you can make it for the Christmas dinner the next day, and you were quick to agree.
You were huddled over the living room table, struggling to wrap a few gifts for him. After a few failed attempts, you made decent progress.
The next day, you scrambled to get ready, throwing on one of the glittery sweater dresses he had bought you and boots. After making yourself look presentable, you grabbed the gifts, locking your apartment and ushering for a taxi soon later.
The trip to Wooyoung and San’s apartment wasn’t too long. He lived a few blocks away from your home. With excited and shaky fingers, you rapped the door almost too quickly, bouncing on your feet almost nervously. Before you could process anything, your hands flew to wrap around the person behind the door, gifts long forgotten on the floor,”San! I missed you!”
When an unfamiliar tuft of blonde hair invaded your vision, you tilted your head up to meet the flushed gaze of the man you recognized from the picture in Wooyoung’s office. His spectacles dangled crookedly off his nose, eyes wide and blinking.
You scrambled back and profusely spat out apology after apology, the male only stuttering out a shy ‘It’s fine. San’s friend?’, causing you to nod in embarrassment. The blonde offered you a polite smile, hand extended politely in which you grasped after a moment of hesitation,”I’m Yeosang. I’d like to personally thank you for taking care of my friend for all these months. If there is any way Wooyoung and I can repay you, please don’t hesitate to let either of us know.”
You beamed at him, shaking your head gratefully, informing him there was no need for compensation. A familiar head of ebony and green peeked out from the noisy kitchen, and suddenly you were lifted in the air, crushed between a firm chest and strong arms. San’s familiar laugh filled the air as he swayed you from side to side, before dragging you towards the kitchen where Wooyoung was currently waging a war with the sizzling pan of oil and a batch of seasoned and breaded chicken. The black haired male shot you a wink in the midst of flipping a piece of chicken, only to squawk in protest as Yeosang came forth to steal a piece from the paper towel lined tray.
“You’re just saying that to impress, (y/n).”
“Watch yourself, Kang- before you end up getting fried next.”
The two bickered amongst themselves as you helped San with the drinks and other dishes he prepared with Wooyoung.
After eating, you exchanged gifts, and sat around for Wooyoung to tell the adventurous stories he shared with San as a kid. Throughout the whole ordeal, San’s eyes widened in surprise, orbs flickering from Wooyoung to Yeosang, a finger pointed to himself questioningly,”Did I really do that?”
You hadn’t realized how much you really missed San’s laughter. Studying the spacious living room, your eyes caught sight of a familiar patch of fur, chuckling to yourself at the sight of Shiber decorating the rocking chair as a cushion.
Another thing you noticed was that Yeosang’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes as he laughed along with the other two males. You brushed it off as a sign of reservedness. Not everyone was as boisterous as San and Wooyoung.
“No, that didn’t happen over summer break it happened during spring!” Wooyoung affirmed, jabbing his finger against Yeosang’s chest, who huffed in retaliation.
“You’re the one forgetting the whole story! Maybe I should tell it instead,” the blonde quipped smartly.
San could only emit a laugh as the two attempted to wrestle each other down instead, his gaze flickering over to you from across the room. You beamed back at him, nose scrunching up in delight at the sight of his smile.
His grin swiftly vanished, morphing into somewhat of a grimace, before his jaw slackened, the colors and shapes in the room distorting into large, blurred pixels while the lights of the apartment flickered rapidly.
“Let’s build a treehouse. It’ll be our secret hideout where we make missions and lock away the bad guys,” a young, voice bounced around the vast, empty white space. SAN’s eyes widened in confusion, eyes flickering left and right, before turning his frame around to catch sight of a very young Wooyoung, brows furrowed in determination whilst clutching a hammer,”Are you just gonna sit there and stare at me! Come on!” The boy ran off and vanished into thin air, San’s fingers reaching towards the boy in a desperate attempt to stop him.
Desperate fingernails dug into the flesh of his back, leaving behind pink lines in their wake. Low, guttural moans slipped past his lips at the sight of you writhing beneath him, your face flushed and contorted into one of bliss, your lips shaping his name with every movement of his frame. The sensation of having your muscles flutter and clench around him nearly drove him to the edge.
Why did you do it?
Pleasure was soon vanished as he found himself laying down in a dark room, two hands gripping the girth of his neck and squeezing with malicious intent, choked gasps emitting from his mouth, and a trail of saliva pooling down from the corner of his lips onto the concrete. The only light in the dark room, coming from behind him reflected the round, golden spectacles resting on the person’s face.
Why are you killing me?
The pressure on his neck vanished, and an ominous silence surrounded him in the dark room. He was acutely aware of something warm, red, and sticky gurgling out of his throat, coating his lips and spilling down his chin. His eyes caught sight of the gleaming edge of a knife as it was bought down repeatedly, slicing through his flesh as easily as softened butter. Pain did not blossom in the areas of impact. His half-lidded eyes gazed up, confusion pooling in them as tear drops fell onto his face from above, faint, broken laughter sounding out from his assailant.
“Why are you killing me!?”
His hand shot out to swipe at the hands on his shoulders, his eyes screwed shut tightly, wheezing for much needed air. Suddenly, he looked up to meet your stunned expression, hands recoiling from his touch,”San!? What’s wrong?”
Three pairs of eyes were trained on him, and all he could do was stare back at your panicked ones, silent tears streaming down his face as he attempted to pull your hands to his frame, softly apologizing for striking you,”I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to-“
“Who’s killing you, San? What are you talking about?” you ignored his words, your brows knitting in worry as Yeosang exchanged a hard look with Wooyoung from behind you.
San’s lips parted momentarily, as if he was deep in thought. As quickly as they opened, he sealed them once more, his brows furrowing in disarray,”I.. I don’t know? No one? I don’t know what I’m saying?”
You pulled him into a tight hug, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as hesitant arms wrapped around your frame. You were suddenly taken back to that night at the barbecue restaurant. That look of terror on San was one you wished to never witness again, and for months you forgot about it. Something was definitely wrong.
“Did you remember something?” you tried, hands cupping his face, your thumbs working on wiping his tears away.
Frustration colored his features as he gently pried your hands off of his face, before burying his head into the palms of his hands,”No? I’m not sure? I can’t recall anything-“
“Has he had episodes like that before?”
You turned to meet the concerned gazes of his friends. Nodding sorrowfully, you sat besides San, arms pulling into your embrace,”This is the second time. Do you know what’s happening?”
Wooyoung shook his head grimly, walking over to brush San’s hair out from his eyes,”No idea. He.. has episodes like that in his sleep, I’ve noticed. And when I wake him up to calm him down, he immediately forgets what made him yell like that.”
“San, maybe we should go see a—“
“No,” came a swift quip from Yeosang. Stunned, you peered back at him in confusion, mouth hanging open at the iciness lingering in his tone,”I know a friend who can help. Wooyoung and I have already discussed this. He’ll be seeing Dr. Song in a few days.”
You could only nod reluctantly at the answer, your concerned gaze falling onto San as Wooyoung helped him up to get a glass of water.
The night passed much too quickly for your liking, and you found yourself standing at the doorway of Wooyoung and San’s apartment, coat in tow, eyes shining with unshed tears as you forced a wobbly smile onto your features,”Will you be alright?”
San’s eyes softened at the sight, dainty fingers reaching to brush the tears away before they stained your cheeks,”Yes, I will. I promise. I’m sorry for what happened today,” he smiled apologetically, “Hopefully, next time it won’t happen, and I’ll even show you my baby pictures and photo albums from when I was a kid. Would you like that?.”
You nodded, despite the heavy lump in your throat, squeezing him one last time. A certain blonde cleared his throat behind San, and the two of you pulled apart to gaze at Yeosang, who was currently tossing his car keys repeatedly in the air,”Need a ride, (y/n)?”
You said your goodbyes, bidding San a farewell with a quick kiss onto his cheek, arms squeezing him tightly.
Yeosang’s car smelt of new leather and cologne. The ride was comfortable, despite him being a mere acquaintance to you,”So, (y/n).. are you and San, y’know?” It took a few seconds for you to process his words, your brows furrowed in defense as he scrambled to deny his claim, but he hadn’t missed the way your voice raised an octave. He hummed, lips pursing in contemplation, one hand resting on the steering wheel whilst the other fiddles against his mouth, clearly deep in thought,”Oh, that’s a relief. Wooyoung didn’t know how to tell you this, but before San’s disappearance, he was seeing someone. She’s.. currently out of town, visiting family for the holiday.”
In middle school, during a soccer match, one of the opponents kicked the ball, accidentally striking your gut. The information that slipped past Yeosang’s lips left the same breathless, painful feeling in your chest.
Suddenly, the sound of your heartbeat in your ears became much louder than the muffled noises of the car’s engine and tires. A breathless ‘Oh’ slipped past your parted lips, voice wavering and hard.
Yeosang casted you a look of sympathy, his hands tightening around the steering wheel, silently sucking against his teeth before breaking out into a sigh,”I’m sorry, (y/n). I thought it would be best to let you know now.”
—
San did not keep his promise. Your texts were always met with apologies and excuses, even after the new semester began. He couldn’t meet in person, and every time you paid a visit to Wooyoung’s office, you were either met with him or Yeosang, explaining that San was too busy catching up on the large project he missed out on for several months.
A month had passed and the messages became even more scarce.
You attempted to visit him at his apartment on the weekends, or whenever you didn’t have as much studies to catch up on, only for a tired Wooyoung to open the door, explaining that San wasn’t home, and probably either at the university library or the office. Today was no different as a sleepy eyed, disheveled Wooyoung leaned against the door, dressed in a loose, sleeveless top and sweats. If you weren’t so annoyed, you’d compliment how cute he looks, a striking difference from the usual ironed dress shirts and slacks he normally adorned at campus.
He invited you in, offering to make a mug of coffee while you waited in the living room. San wasn’t here, and either due to pity or friendliness, Wooyoung offered to listen to you rant about your mutual friend. He set two steaming mugs of coffee down onto the tiny table, a packet of cigarettes and a lighter following suit. Lighting a stick, he bought it up to his lips, inhaling the smoke, before tilting his head back and slowly puffing out.
You didn’t take him to be a smoker. When he offered you one, you politely denied, hands tucking the mug of coffee closer to your frame, the warmth of the ceramic providing you some level of comfort,”San’s been busy, y’know? You should cut him some slack.”
He took a small sip of his coffee, before dragging another puff of smoke. Your eyes narrowed slightly at the subtle hints of accusation tinting his words,”I was never one to deny that, Wooyoung,” you spoke back, voice firm, “I know he is, but it wouldn’t kill him to acknowledge me every now and then. I haven’t seen since Christmas.” A sudden veil of aloofness washed over Wooyoung’s features as he crossed a leg over the other, eyes half lidded whilst gazing unamused at you. You were taken aback with the sudden change of atmosphere, your brows furrowing as his shoulders shook with bitter laughter,”(Y/n), don’t you see why he’s been avoiding you?” he tsked, tapping away at his cigarette and watching as the ashes crumbled into the ashtray,”How would he flat out tell you he’s making amends to repair his relationship with the woman that loves him? He couldn’t bear to weigh that news onto you. Not after everything you’ve done for him. His conscious is eating away at his very being.”
Your eyes narrowed in suspicion,”Why is it that you seem to think I’m trying to get in the way of his relationship? The one he’s never mentioned in the first place, might I add. All I’m asking is for time with my friend. You’re the one who seems to get it twisted.”
He chuckled, leaning forward on one knee, pointing the lit end of the cigar in your direction,”Are you calling me a liar?” his hand cradled your knee, frame leaning closer to you as he tilts his head to the left to blow out the smoke, eyes never leaving your own,”Y’know, I won’t mind if you came here to visit me. I’ll make all the time in the world for you, sweetheart.”
Scoffing, you set the mug of coffee down, so harshly, the liquid swishes around the rim,”You sound so-“
Before you could make your way up from the couch, he called your name, frame turning around to showcase the screen of his phone, which read a familiar name.
Kim Hongjoong.
Your eyes bore into his own amused ones,”My internship mentor? What are you insinuating?” you spat, arms crossing over your chest defensively.
He tutted, putting out his cigarette in your abandoned mug of coffee before standing up to hover over your frame, his fingers propping your chin up to gaze into your orbs. You felt his breath against your face as he whispered, words venomous and laced with poison, but tone soft and gentle,”You seem to forget I am a professor, don’t you? I have connections. I asked you nicely to stop disrupting my and San’s work. He doesn’t need any more distractions than he already has. I will take it upon myself to not only have your internship revoked, but also expelled from the university, hm?”
Swatting his hand away, you shoved him back with a glower,”What the hell is wrong with you?” he caught his balance, a laugh of amusement ringing from his chest at your abrasiveness. You did not find this situation amusing in the slightest,”You’re sick.”
“Don’t test me, (Y/n),” he curled a finger around your locks, lips quirking up into a fond smile,”Be a good girl, mind your business, and maybe I’ll consider taking you out. You can forget San. He’s already taken.”
You purposely slammed the door shut on your way out, eyes burning with rage.
Later that day, you found yourself mulling over Wooyoung’s words, hands gripping the grocery cart, knuckles white and crescents left on your skin. Bringing up a fist, you harshly rubbed at your misty eyes with the sleeve of your coat. You ignored the squabbling of an elderly woman as you accidentally bumped into her while walking out with your grocery bags.
Walking down the street not too far from your apartment, a pang or hurt shot through you as your eyes made contact with Jongho, San’s previous employer, who was standing on a ladder, watering the flower baskets hung in front of his shop. He gave you a sympathetic smile as you passed by, pinning a flower behind your ear and reaching up to pinch your cheek,”My flowers need more sunshine, so is it okay if they see your smile?”
You two spoke for over fifteen minutes, only for him to flash you an apologetic smile as a few customers walked in the store,”You can stop by anytime if you’re ever feeling lonely. Yunho and I would love the company.”
Continuing your path towards home, your eyes caught a flash of movement in an alleyway, further up by the parked cars in front of your apartment complex. The people walking by hadn’t seemed to notice the movement, some busy on their phones, whilst others laughing along with their partners.
Maybe I’m seeing things from all the crying and tears.
You checked your phone for any notifications, only for disappointment to wash over your features at the lack of any. That same morning, in a fit of rage and overwhelming emotions, you bombarded San with text after text of how disappointed you felt, at how you didn’t care if he was with someone else, and how you just wanted to have your friend back, and how much a prick you think Wooyoung is.
You always imagined how it would be like to help San find his way back into his old life again, but this was far from how you pictured it to be in your mind.
You hastily changed into a pair of sweats and t-shirt after putting away all of the groceries, the tv playing in the background to fill the deafening silence that became apparent ever since San left.
While adding a new load of laundry into the machine, the lights in your apartment flickered rapidly, your ministrations ceasing as you looked up in confusion. It wasn’t raining. The bulb above you shattered, and you jumped in fright, hands frantically brushing the glass out of your hair.
A loud knock on your door startled you, and your eyes widened in hope, hands faltering and laundry suddenly forgotten.
San?
Your first mistake was assuming the person was San.
Your second mistake was not checking through the peephole.
Your third mistake was leaving your phone in your room.
The door merely opened a few inches, when suddenly the flimsy security chain broke upon the sudden thrust from the other side of the door. The doorknob dug into the adjacent wall, leaving an ugly dent in its place whilst three figures clad in black shoved their way into your home.
The tallest amongst the three, a redhead, shut the door hastily, while one man with striking black eyes and dark hair walked past you, his other friend striking you down and pinning onto the floor face first. You struggled in his tight grip, heart thumping with adrenaline and shock,”Get off me!”
Throwing your head back, you heard a thump and a faint hiss, your assailant’s grip loosening only slightly, but enough for you to roll around to face him. One hand was gripping his jaw whilst the other held you by the neck against the floor, his eyes burning with fury and malice. The scowl on his features soon withered away into a look of surprise, and your expression seemed to mirror his own. The pressure on your neck was lifted, and the tallest of the three, the redhead, paused, eyes wide once taking note of your face,”Is that (y/n)?”
His voice was deep and unfamiliar.
“Professor Hongjoong!?” you cried in disbelief as you recognized the man above you, anger evident in your voice as you shoved his chest with your palms,”Who do you think you are barging into my home like this, you asshole!?”
The redhead helped your professor up, looking back at you with a blank expression as he leaned down to whisper in Hongjoong’s ear,”Do you really think she’s working with him?”
“I can hear you,” you quipped, stepping forward and jabbing a finger in the redhead’s chest, your head tilting up to glower menacingly at him, lips pulled back into a scornful scowl,”And how do you know my name! And you–“ you grabbed a fistful of Hongjoong’s cloak, pulling him down to your eye level,”Explain all of this before I call the cops for trespassing my home. I don’t give a shit if you’re my employer.” The redhead startled at your sudden act of aggression, eyes wide and mouth agape.
“Hongjoong! He’s not here!” a voice called from behind you. Your head turned to see the black haired male walk out from the hallway, stress painting his features. He froze mid-step, eyes widening as he gazed at you from his step, before turning to Hongjoong questioningly.
You didn’t know these two, so why were they so shocked at your mere presence?
“(Y/n), where is San?” Hongjoong gently pried your hands off his shirt, the black haired male eyeing the wrinkles they left behind. Your brow twitched in annoyance.
“Really?” you mused,”You came barging into my apartment, unannounced, just for San? Why don’t you ask Wooyoung?” you seethed in annoyance, stepping behind a few steps to make space between yourself and the men.
Hongjoong peered behind you towards the man, distraught eyes holding a battle of conflict,”Seonghwa, are you sure you felt his aura here?”
“This is the only place, Hongjoong,” Seonghwa’s voice was firm, his eyes narrowing and hardening afterwards,”She’s lying.”
You gaped, turning back to your mentor,”What reason would I have to lie!? He doesn’t even live here anymore.”
“He moved?”
“Yes. With Wooyoung. You know that already. You’re friends with him,” he quirked a brow at your sassy reply.
“Not with that Wooyoung,” ducking his head, he removed the black fedora and pressed his lips into a thin line, eyes flickering back up at you, studying your features meticulously,”Are you working with Wooyoung?”
“What!? I’m your inter- what is this all about?” furrowing your brows, you crossed your arms, patience flying out the door faster than you can blink,”Why would I work for that prick?”
“I like Earth’s (y/n),” the redhead snickered behind Hongjoong, earning him a sharp glare from Seonghwa.
Your eyes suddenly widened in thought.
“(Y/n), why does this map say Earth? It should be Utopia.”
Your mouth parted open, voice hesitant and drawing out the words unsurely and slowly,”Are you from Utopia?”
The three men gaped at you, all falling silent.
“I told you she’s working with him,” declared Seonghwa, reaching down into his cloak for what you can only perceive to be a weapon.
Hongjoong was quick to throw an arm out, halting the older’s actions. Your frame went rigged, shoulders tensing in defense and breath becoming shallow. Hongjoong studied you warily, choosing his words carefully, his ashy brown hair falling into his line of sight as he spoke,”How do you know that?”
“San had once mentioned it to me.. months ago,” you pondered quietly, mostly to yourself, as if trying to wrack your brain for other pieces of information. Your eyes narrowed and zeroed in one the three men, in particular Seonghwa, whose shoulders deflated in relief at your words,”Do you know why he lost his memories? He’s been having these episodes- and he yells, but-”
Hongjoong’s expression turned grim, your words resonating a bitter feeling in the pit of his stomach,”It’s a long story. We don’t have much time, so-“
“I’ll help you in any way I can if you would just explain all of this to me,” you breathed out, stepping closer to him with a frown on your visage.
Seonghwa sighed, mumbling something into Hongjoong’s ear, before crossing his arms and leaning against the wooden door, brows knitted and eyelids fluttered shut.
Hongjoong sat you down, contemplating on how to start off. Testing the waters carefully, he began to explain how every human on Earth has a counterpart in another dimension named Utopia.
“So, there’s another Hongjoong- Earth’s Hongjoong, and he’s my employer and not you?”
Hongjoong’s replica only nodded before continuing, blithering like the rushing waters of a river.
A year ago, a human named Choi San managed to enter Utopia, and was thrilled to find his counterpart. He explained how he worked for years studying about dimensions, findings manuscripts and notes, eventually creating a device that allowed the two worlds to intertwine. He, along with his friend, Jung Wooyoung, convinced the Utopian San to enter Earth for a few test runs.
Human San’s intentions were good-hearted, but greed blinded Wooyoung. He wanted to take advantage of the beings in Utopia. He wanted power and profit, wanting all the credit all to himself. San disagreed with Wooyoung’s wishes, and tension grew between the two. While running a few scans on Utopian San, Wooyoung managed to corner and kill San. Utopian San was the only witness present.
Wooyoung’s plan was to remove San out of the picture, and threaten Utopian San with destroying their world unless he agreed to work with him and do as he says. Forging numerous letters under his human half’s name, Utopian San attempted numerous times to escape, not exactly knowing how to use the device created by his late counterpart.
“Wooyoung managed to trap him in your world, running experiments on him that most likely led to his memories being wiped clean,” Hongjoong leaned back on the couch, eyes stone cold,”You mentioned something about him having.. what? Breakdowns? Can you explain what you meant?”
His gaze hardened as you explained what occoured with your friend, Mingi’s helpless expression making you frown with pity.
“I can’t say for sure, but what I think is happening is that he’s getting flashes of both his memories, as well as Earth’s San’s memories,” Seonghwa concluded, voice wary,”I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten mad at this point. His aura is getting weaker by being in another dimension.”
“Is it treatable?” Mingi’s concerned voice spoke before you managed to form any words.
Seonghwa’s lips pressed into a thin line,”Most likely, in Utopia, it is. If he stays in Earth any longer, than I highly doubt it. He’ll lose his damn mind.. and death seems inevitable too.”
Your hands trembled at the words, eyes frantic and in search of answers as you looked back at Hongjoong.
They’ll have to take San away from you.
San will die if he remains with you.
”We attempted to save San, but with Wooyoung’s newest aid– Yeosang, I believe– they improved their systems, and things became complicated for us back in Utopia. The portal leading back to our world glitched, and it seems somehow it opened up to where you were at the time..”
“Your Utopian half and San are together, so I’m not surprised the portal led him to you. Fate works in strange ways,” Seonghwa mused, deep in thought from across the room. You swore your heart skipped a beat at the words.
This is the first time in months they’ve been successful in opening a portal to Earth, and they’re not sure why.
“It seems that Wooyoung managed to find a way to conceal San’s aura in his home and workplace. We need your help to find him and take him back to our world, along with that damn device. Have you seen it? An hourglass?” when you shook your head, Hongjoong sighed in frustration, hand running through his hair,”Okay. It’s most likely in his study. I’m positive that’s also where he’s keeping San. Is there anyway you can help us get into it? We have no idea how to track it without sensing San’s aura.”
—
Wooyoung was surprised to find you standing in front of his office, bowing your head apologetically for your behavior yesterday, and asking if it was okay for you to tag along with him throughout his day, curious to see his work.
“Hongjoong said there wasn’t much to be done today, so he gave me a break.”
He agreed, but only after you promised you wouldn’t touch anything.
You permitted the arm that slithered around your waist to rest comfortable against your hip as he led you throughout the large campus, his eyes occasionally following the curve of your clavicles and swell of your chest, and back to your eyes as you replied back to one of his comments. Entering the code to his laboratory, you were quick to notice the lack of cameras in any of the corners of the room. There were files stacked neatly onto a few desks, folder strewn about, and other large machines and desktops decorated the back of the room.
You listened to him gloat, his hands tugging you to showcase the numerous certificates and achievements under his belt. Resentment and anger bubbled dangerously in the pit of your stomach, your fingers twitching at the thought of wiping that smirk off his visage.
The fluorescent lights flickered once.
Your smile was strained, nodding and tuning out his words, only for you to jump back, startled, as his face was mere centimeters from your own, breath ghosting your lips,”Did you not hear me, precious?” Emitting a nervous laugh, you reached up to push his face away playfully, his hand grasping your wrist and placing a tender kiss onto your skin,”I asked if you’d like to join me for dinner tonight?”
“Dinner? Well, I-“
“I think she’d rather go with me,” a voice piped from behind you two.
Furrowing your brows, your mind reeled at the familiar voice. You gaped at the sight of a mirror image of Wooyoung, clad in black, resting comfortably in one of the swiveling chairs across the room.
When did he get in?
A curse fell from Wooyoung’s lips as he dropped your hand immediately, reaching forward into the nearest desk to pull out a pistol.
Your breath was strangled in your throat as you took several seconds to process what was happening, your feet taking hesitant steps back to avoid the end of the gleaming, black weapon. A rough tug onto your sleeve, and you found your back pressed against Wooyoung’s chest, the cold metal of his weapon resting against your temple,”Go back to your world-“
“Or else what? You gonna kill her like you killed San?” the other Wooyoung cackled, propping his two legs onto the desk, black leather boots kicking at a few documents. He gazed in amusement at your trembling legs,”Nice to meet you, Earth (y/n). Sorry my human half is a dick. I wouldn’t dare treat a lady like-“
“I didn’t kill San!” You jumped at the ferocity in Wooyoung’s voice, your form tensing against his frame as he breathed heavily against the back of your head,”He’s alive. San is alive- you don’t know what you’re talking about.” This tone- desperate, broken, and determined sent chills down your spine.
“Where is he then?”
You recoiled back, face scrunching and arms flying up to shield your face as the sound of a gunshot left a loud ringing in your right ear. Your wobbly knees struggled to keep your weight up, hesitantly peeling your eyes open and expecting the sight of blood. A bullet hole punctured the chair Utopian Wooyoung once occupied.
“Wooyoung, would you stop running your mouth for once!?”
A blur of black shoved your assailant away, hands hastily disarming the manic eyed professor. You stepped back in surprise, nearly falling down upon impact, Wooyoung’s frame colliding near your feet,”Sorry-“ the curly haired brunette snickered underneath his breath, flashing you a smile and wink. Gaping, you realized that man was Yunho’s counterpart. You were suddenly pulled back by Hongjoong, his eyes cold and void of any sympathy as he stared down at the struggling male.
Mingi had him pinned to the floor, the man fruitlessly attempting to free himself underneath the crushing weight of the red-head.
“(Y/n)! Help me!” Wooyoung growled, cheek painfully pressed onto the floor, eyes trained onto the black weapon which rested innocently feet away,”What are you standing around for!?”
“You should leave, (y/n). Seonghwa found the device in one the rooms here. All that’s left is to find San—,”
Once Wooyoung realizes what’s occurring, his movements cease. His jaw slackens and then he glowers in your direction,”You bitch!” the broken sound of betrayal almost leaves you feeling pity towards Wooyoung,”You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into! There’s no way you’re getting–“
His taunts only increased the pressure of Mingi’s fist in his hair, the smaller male letting out a rough grunt of pain as his face is slammed down roughly onto the floor, pearls of red dripping down his nose. Hongjoong’s orbs flickered between you and Wooyoung,”(Y/n), things are going to get ugly. If we have to use force, so be it. I don’t want you here witnessing that. You’ve been more than enough to help us.”
Your gaze softened, the prickling feeling of tears welling up in your eyes evident from their glassy appearance. Shaking your head, you took in a shaky breath,”No. I need to find San. I’m not leaving without him.”
Wooyoung’s counterpart eyed you curiously, his foot stepping onto his human half’s ankle,”Seems like you put a strain on my friends and their human halves too? I’m so embarrassed to have you as my half, fuck,” he chuckled humorlessly whilst grinding his boot against the male’s ankle, the other still squirming underneath Mingi’s weight, cries of pain only amusing the Utopian Wooyoung even more,”Oh, sorry. Didn’t see your leg there. Does that hurt?”
Hongjoong was quick to turn you around, tugging you and scoffing underneath his breath,”Alright, fine. You’ll see him, when we find him, but please, don’t make it hard on yourself when it’s time for us to depart. Do not get in the way, is that understood?”
Tears streamed down your face as you nodded reluctantly, your attempts to contain your emotions failing after facing the harsh reality of your predicament. While Mingi, Wooyoung, and Yunho began tormenting the pinned male, Hongjoong and Seonghwa accompanied you in searching every curve and crevice of the building to no avail. You winced as Seonghwa’s fist left a dent in the wall out of frustration, and you found yourselves back in the lab, where the leather clad Wooyoung was resting onto his human half’s chest, legs propped on either side. A sadistic grin took over his features as he watched the blood dribble down the male’s lips,”I can do this all day, Wooyoungie.” He paused mid-punch, sharp eyes flickering in your direction. When he noted the absence of his best friend, he proceeded to land several more strikes onto the fallen man’s face,”You fucker.”
Yunho and Mingi’s hopeful expressions deflated as they noticed you returned empty handed,”We can’t find him.”
“Where is he!?” Hongjoong demanded, crouching down to meet Wooyoung’s eyes.
“You’re not..” He spluttered, droplets of blood striking Hongjoong’s angered face,”You can’t take him away from me.”
The sound of the door opening ceased every breath and movement in the lab, and your panicked filled eyes flew to Hongjoong as Yeosang stepped into the room, ironed lab coat and glasses pristine underneath the lights.
A second ticked by, silence enveloping the room as Yeosang froze to assess the situation.
Seonghwa was quick on his feet to tackle him against the wall, knife digging painfully into the curve of his neck,”Ah, about time the other rat appeared. What do you think we should do with this one, Hongjoong?”
Yeosang’s eyes were confused as they landed on you, his hands raised up in defeat, adam’s apple bobbing against the edge of the dagger, which rested painfully close to his jugular,”Wait!” he cried, voice emitting in rapid, panic pants,”I removed the barriers that stopped you from entering our world! I only plan to help you, I promise. I can take you to San!”
Wooyoung weakly lifted his head up to spit in Yeosang’s direction, glassy, panicked eyes narrowing, his voice cracking with betrayal and distraught,”Have you lost your mind? You wouldn’t, Yeosang. Don’t you dare— you know San belongs here-“
Yeosang inhaled sharply as Seonghwa roughly shoved him away after Hongjoong’s request, shoulders deflating as he gazed at his bloodied friend,”I’m sorry. I don’t really have much of a choice now. I’ve already decided where my morals lie.”
You were expecting Wooyoung to shout in anger, to scream, to yell. What you weren’t expecting him to do was sob, voice so helpless and broken, sending a cold chill down to the marrow of your bones,”I regret it! Is that what you want to hear? I regret killing him and– the other San! He’s supposed to take his place- I want him back,” his cries sent a shiver down your spine, his words slurring together as he cries out in grief, panicked breaths cutting his sentences,”I want him— I want San back! I- I need him back!”
“Take us to him,” Hongjoong’s hard gaze fell onto Yeosang, completely ignoring the crying male. The blonde professor nodded, ushering him out of the room.
You were the first to catch sight of him, rushing forward and crying his name out in relief. He appeared to be drugged, wires and other devices sticking into various parts of his body. You hadn’t realized you were crying, until Yeosang gently pushed you back into Hongjoong’s arms as he removed the various wires and needles attached to the tired man.
You pulled San into a hug immediately, a sob wracking your form as you apologized for not being there for him when he needed you most. You concluded that after Christmas, Wooyoung took over San’s phone while trapping the male here, hence his emaciated and pale appearance.
His eyes met yours, an apologetic smile finding its way onto his features,”(Y/n),” tears welled in his tired eyes, his voice quiet and weak,”You’re here?”
You nodded, repeatedly mumbling in agreement through your tears, pulling him even tighter and shaking your head, claiming that this was all your fault. Hongjoong watched the exchange with a strained expression, before turning to Seonghwa,”Get the others. It’s time to leave.”
Your eyes widened, frame turning to gape at Hongjoong, and then back to San, your throat closing up. He only offered you a faint smile, hand reaching up to cup your cheek,”Wooyoung told me everything while he kept me here,” his thumb worked at wiping away the few tears that cascaded down your cheeks,”There was no way to reach out to you, I’m so sorry,” his words were slurred, tongue heavy and mind slightly foggy,”None of this is your fault. I tried.. I tried to get to you. Believe me, I did..”
“It’s not your fault either. San- I.. They’re taking you back to Utopia, San,” your voice cracked, strained and tight in your throat,”They said you need to go back or else-“ you failed to finish your words, jaw slackening as you let out a pained sob at the thought.
His shoulders deflated, head hung low as he buried his face into the crook of your neck,”I’m sorry I dragged you into all of this,” he held you tighter as you sniffled, whimpers muffled against the side of his head. He held your trembling hands,”I will never find it in me to forgive myself for putting you through all of this.”
His warmth suddenly left you as he was helped up by Yunho and Mingi. Snapping your head to your right, you noticed a swirling light against the wall of the room, where the counterparts of Wooyoung and Hongjoong spoke with Yeosang, the blonde only nodding reassuringly in reply. Their attention snapped to you as you let out a desperate cry, fingers reaching to grasp San’s hand in protest, attempting to pull him towards you. You weren’t aware of your shrill, panicked laced voice, mind too focused on returning San into your embrace.
The sounds of muffled shouting from the taller two didn’t deter you from wrapping your arms around San’s shoulders, defeat and sadness painting his features as he took in your form. Arms tugged you away, planting you firmly in place, and you writhed and struggled in Yeosang’s hold as you watched with frenzied eyes as Wooyoung leaned forward, his form dissipating into the portal, followed by Seonghwa. Hongjoong turned to give you one last glance, frown on his face,”I’m sorry, (y/n).”
He held onto San, who not once took his teary eyes off of you. Mingi and Yunho disappeared, and with one last attempt, you kicked back at Yeosang, the blonde yelping in surprise at the sudden rush of pain on his shin, flailing forward and catching you by the ankle roughly, preventing you from moving forward,”Stop, (y/n)!”
The last thing you saw as the diameter of the portal shrunk was San’s heartbroken expression, along with the hourglass in Hongjoong’s arms. The portal vanished, leaving tiny specks of light in the air, a gentle breeze kissing your wet face.
“Yeosang,” you mumbled, turning back to the blonde,”take me there. What do I do? I need-“
“He took the device with him, (y/n). There’s no way any of us can reach their world anymore,” he ran a hand through his hair, voice steady and firm.
You don’t know how long you sat there, crying and yelling profanities at him. The rush of footsteps throughout the building ceased your sobs, and you watched from the doorway as officers forcefully dragged an injured Wooyoung out of the other room, his panicked eyes filled with disbelief boring holes into Yeosang, who already had his arms up in submission,”Yeosang? You reported..” The blonde was restrained and taken away as well.
“Miss?” an opened palm invaded your blurry vision, and you peered up to meet the concerned, brown eyes of an officer, uniform hugging his large frame,”Are you okay?”
Silent tears pooled and streamed down your cheeks, your head shaking weakly.
No, Seonghwa. I’m not okay
.
—
Your half lidded eyes bore holes into the tv as the news anchor spoke, showcasing two mugshots of both Yeosang and Wooyoung. Your eyes flickered down to your lap, unable to even look at Wooyoung’s face.
“A new update regarding the disappearance and death of Choi San, the physics professor of University of Seoul. After almost a year after leaving a note and disappearing, police have confirmed that the letter was forged.“
Kang Yeosang, an assistant professor who joined Jung after Choi’s disappearance complied with police, informing them every detail regarding the case, and providing written evidence and memoirs from both the late Choi and Jung. It’s been reported that Choi was the first to discover Utopia, working years on building the device that managed to connect with the alternate dimension, creating portals that challenge both time and space. It is said that every human on Earth has a counterpart in the other dimension.
In hopes of taking all the credit, Jung murdered Choi, disposing of his body, which has yet to be recovered. Officials say they are still attempting to interrogate the information out of Jung, who is expressing clear signs of distress and manic episodes at the mere mention of Choi’s name.
This counterpart was staying with a woman we will go by A. Choi and A met up in another town, shortly before both moving to Seoul, where they encountered Jung at the University of Seoul. Reports state that Choi moved out from A’s apartment and back with Jung. After numerous reports, officials have declared A to not be involved in Jung and Kang’s crimes, Kang testifying in her defense.
Choi’s Utopian counterpart was forced into our dimension, his memories from his Utopian life disappearing after Choi’s death. A statement from Kang concludes that Jung was the cause of that.
In an attempt to undo the murder of Choi, Jung attempted to implant memories into Utopian Choi in hopes that he will take his human’s place, which only aided in creating discord between our world and Utopia. When the Utopians attempted to re-enter our dimension, Kang implemented new sets of devices that aided in sealing the two worlds apart from each other. It was only recently that Kang eliminated these tools, thus permitting the Utopians from intervening.
The Utopians did not intend to harm or hurt anyone. Their only intention was to rescue their friend, and also take the device the late Choi created to cease their world from being further tampered by us.
Jung and Kang have both been stripped of their titles according to the university. Their first court date will be announced later today to determine their senten—“
You closed your eyes, hand hastily clicking the power button on the remote, before wrapping yourself with the blanket tightly. Curling into a ball and throwing the the fuzzy sheet over your head, you decided you were tired of hearing the news reports, opting for the deafening silence you grew to hate. Fluttering your eyes shut, you stilled, inhaling San’s scent that was left lingering on the blanket. The amethyst necklace tickled your cheek, your hand reaching up to move it away.
A sweet, floral scent filled the space of your living room, a beautifully arranged bouquet resting on the coffee table. The card still stood in the middle of the arrangement, words of encouragement and support written by both Jongho and Yunho in bright green ink. Underneath it, your untouched dinner sat cold and forgotten, clumps of wet tissue paper scattered onto the table and floor.
Your phone chimed, and you peered down, already knowing it was Professor Hongjoong sending another voice message of support. He’d been a strong pillar for you to lean on ever since the news broke out. You made a silent note to respond later, as the time was growing late anyway.
Minutes ticked by and soft snores, along with shallow breathing filled the vacant space, your hair sticking out from the heap you’ve made of yourself and the blanket.
Above you, the lightbulb flickered repeatedly.
#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez x reader#ateez reactions#choi san imagines#choi san x reader#wooyoung scenarios#wooyoung imagines#choi san angst#mingi imagines#mingi scenarios#hongjoong imagines#hongjoong scenarios#seonghwa imagines#seonghwa scenarios#yeosang imagines#yeosang scenarios#jongho imagines#jongho scenarios#yunho imagines#yunho scenarios
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Chapter Four of The Friend Trap: Starring KT and Eddie
Things were not gonna do: remember that it’s been a year since i updated this
Nina didn’t want to be someone who ran away from her problems. And she wasn’t, truly. She had stayed after Sarah had sent her on a wild goose chase to find the cup of ankh. She had stayed after finding out she was the chosen one. She had stayed after Senkhara cursed her grandmother and sibuna- the only five people left she was sure she loved. She stayed and she fought.
Nina Martin wasn’t a quitter. She just wasn’t.
And no matter what Fabian or Eddie or anyone else at Anubis House thought of her, she certainly hadn’t quit on them. She had run from her former boarding school, but only to protect her friends. During that summer between junior and senior year, after almost being dragged down to the depths of hell to rule the underworld with Senkhara, the Egyptain Gods began to haunt her even worse than ever before. No longer did they choose to lurk around the dusty halls of Anubis House, but rather popping up during her daily life at home. She would be walking down her neighborhood street when, suddenly, Anubis would be walking next to her, taunting her with her worst nightmares. Like her grandmother dying, the one tether Nina had left to her parents. Or like Fabian or Amber or any of the Sibuna members being hunted down by death before they eventually succumbed. Osiris would plague her dreams, haunting her with images of her and those she loved being tortured in the underworld. Set would whisper tales of disaster running rampant on the earth killing mass numbers of innocent people, and that blood would be on Nina’s hands for not fulfilling her duties as the chosen one. Those were nightmares and curses Nina was determined to bear solely on her shoulders. And, god, it was a terrible year. Not having the rest of sibuna there to keep her morals up was something Nina never realized how much she had taken for granted. She missed Alfie inputting hilarious one liners and breaking up the tension of stress that so often hovered above the group. She missed Patricia, always offering a witty comment that often joked just how much danger they were truly in, while, at the same time, brought a smile to everyone’s face. She missed Amber being the group’s cheerleader who also encouraged everyone with a token of confidence and naive fortune. She missed Fabian being her right hand man and never doubting her, not even when she deserved it. All of that one top of her grandmother still struggling with her health was enough to send a girl right over the edge. And Nina refused to let Sibuna see her so broken and scared. She was supposed to be the strong one, the leader who kept preserving during tough times. But during that year, Nina was no leader. No one knew what the Gods had put her through that year. Not her gran. Not K.T. No one. And Nina was determined it stayed that way because, if anyone knew, then Nina wasn’t sure they would ever be able to look at her the same way.
That was why Nina had stormed out. Not because she was upset to see Fabian and Eddie. Not because she was mad K.T had been lying to her for their entire friendship or that her and Eddie had orchestrated this whole thing (if anything, she was secretly glad they had, but she would never let them know that). But because if anyone could see right through her and eventually get the truth out of her, it would be Fabian. He saw right through her. He always had. And he couldn’t find out what had happened to her that year. That was why Nina sat on a bench outside of the coffee store staring at the busty streets of New York City instead of inside with her friends. Not because she wanted to. She wanted nothing more than to reconnect with those she had left behind. But, she had to hide. She had to stay away from them. It was better for everyone (ok definitely not for her, but for them) even if they couldn’t see it.
Fabian had to be the one who came running after her. It had been that way since Patricia poured milk on her and he found her in the hallway claiming that her tears were due to her allergy to cats. He would always be the one who, no matter how hard she pushed and no matter how stubborn she was, would always come and find her. It may have taken him some time this go-around and it may have only happened due to a little snooping by his friends, but he had found his way back to her. He always would. That was why he had felt so betrayed by Nina when she didn’t return to Anubis House. He thought that the two of them had finally gotten their shit together. He had told her after all… that she was the one.
“Well, my chosen one”
Fabin knew that Nina was the one for him. After all that they had gone through together, truly, how could it be anyone else? Fabin had thought that Nina felt the same way. That was why he had felt so betrayed by her sudden departure. He would have understood if Nina needed to stay behind in the states to care for her gran. After the hell that Senkhara had put her through last year by using her gran’s health as a timepiece to push them to risk their lives, anyone would have understood that Nina needed to stay in the states to care for her gran. All it would have taken was one facetime and Fabian would have understood. Long distance would have been hard, but the two of them had already faced much, much worse. Facing off against a crazy man who was desperate to live forever? Completing life threatening tasks in a 100 year old tunnel created by a man who loved games in order to please an Egyptain ghost ruler? Having to save Nina from being dragged to the underworld by said ghost? The two had fought battles that were far outside the expected challenges of teenage couples. Sometimes it felt like they had led a life and more in their two years together. They had faced everything together, even when things got rough and Nina quit sibuna or when they broke up or when Nina fell down the hole in the senet game. No matter what, Fabin and Nina never gave up on one another. So why had Nina run away and refused to contact any of them?
Fabin saw her sitting on a bench right outside the coffee shop. And even though he hadn’t seen or spoke to her in two years or that he was rightfully pissed at her for falling off the face of the earth, he couldn’t help but still feel butterflies in his stomach at the sight of her. For years, he had dreamed of this very moment. But now that it was here, well he just didn’t know what to say or do.
------------
Call it her chosen one sense or whatever it may be, but Nina knew that someone was behind her and she had a pretty good guess of who it was. The raven haired boy who was her first love, her right hand man and her best friend, the first one she trusted with her secrets- Fabian.
“Hey, Fabian.” She muttered without even turning to face him to confirm that it was indeed him. “I figured you would be the one who ran after me.” She silently chuckled to herself.
“You always were,” she muttered just under her breath for only her to hear.
Fabian came around the bench and took the vacant stop next to her without replying. “Hey,” he finally said after a couple beats of silence.
An awkward silence of a mix of tension and words left unsaid hovered above the pair of estranged best friends. Neither knew where to even start. There was so much to unpack. So much to catch up on. So much to apologize for.
Nina was the first to break it. “I’m sorry,” she stated plainly, not even allowing herself to glance over to Fabian. Instead, she kept her gaze fixated on a stop light across the seat. Green. Yellow. Red.
How nice would it be to be on such a stable routine? She thought to herself. To never have to question which Egyptain god would terrorize you next?
“Don't be,” Fabian shrugged his shoulders. “I’m upset with tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum too for using us as pawns in their Parent Trap game.”
“Yeah…” Nina whispered. “But I am glad to see you again.” For the first time, she looked over at him and allowed a smile to creep over her face.
Fabian returned the smile and just for a fleeting moment everything was alright. It was like just for a moment, they were transported back to a moment when they were two lovesick teenagers hiding crushes on one another. But the magic of that moment was broken just as it had started with Fabian clearing his throat and asking the one question she knew he was bound to ask but she could never answer.
“So, then why did you do it?”
It was like the hustle and bustle of New York City fell silent. Like Victor had just given his award winning speech at 10 p.m every night just before he let his pin drop and silence cursed the halls of Anubis House. (Nina never realized she would miss that annoying speech so much, yet she found herself looking at the clock at 10 pm wishing she was hiding out in her room with Amber as they waited to sneak out). His voice was so calm and collective; yet, somehow, that was worse then if he was yelling.
Nina knew he wasn’t referring to her running off nor was he referring to her not returning to Anubis House. He was mad that she left without any contact but only a letter to explain her sudden departure. That she never heard him out. That she never gave a warning sign. That she left him in exile. That she became a myth, a ghost that haunted him everywhere he went. But she wasn’t ready to give him the true answer to that. She would die with that secret, buried six feet under.
“My gran was sick. You know that.” Nina started out with a simple statement. It wasn’t a lie.
Fabian ran his hand through his hair- his tale-tale sign that he was nervous or frustrated. “I know that, Nina.”
(Nina hated the way he barked out her name. Like it meant nothing more to him than four simple letters, two syllables.)
“But you didn’t have to fall off the face of the earth. You could have called or texted or facetimed. At the very least, you could have told us beforehand that you weren't coming back. You didn’t have to let Mr. Sweet ambush us with the news. Even if you never wanted to see us again, that was the very least you owed us.”
“I never wanted that to happen! You seriously think I wanted to cut off all contact? That I wanted to leave behind the one place that felt like home to me full of people that I loved? That I wanted to leave behind you?” Nina’s voice rose in volume, not with anger but rather with hurt. How could he think that she never wanted to see them again? “Like I said in the letter, seeing you all would have hurt me too much. Even just keeping in contact would have reminded me too much of what I had left behind. It would have changed my mind in an instant and I would have caught the first flight back to England. But I couldn’t do that. I just couldn’t come back.”
“Why not?” Fabian probed. “I know it wasn’t because of that crap you wrote in the letter about the osirian and the chosen one not being in the same place. I know that you can't lie to save your life, Nina, but you could have come up with a better lie than that.”
Nina broke her gaze away from Fabian, which had been glued to him since they began arguing. Lying to him hurt enough already, but she couldn’t look him dead in the eyes and do it. “I told you. My gran was sick. I needed to stay behind and care for her.”
Her words were barely above a whisper, but Fabian heard every word. He shook his head ever so slightly.
“No,” he said as if it were a simple fact. “There is more to it than that. You wouldn’t have put us, put me, through so much pain if it were just because your gran was sick. For whatever reason, there is something that you’re not telling me.”
He got up to leave and head back inside but, before he did, he delivered the words that were the final blow. Words that pierced Nina’s heart right open.
“I thought you trusted me more than that. That after everything we had been through together, that we could tell each other anything. I thought we were stronger than that. But I guess I just really didn’t you all that well after all.”
Nina felt a tear slip down her cheek before the dam broke and the rest followed quickly. Even after she left Anubis House, she never thought she would lose Fabian. Knowing that he was out there, no matter how hurt and mad he was at her, was enough for her. But now she felt like she had lost him for good and she didn’t know if she would ever gain his trust back. After everything, all the curses, all the haunting by egyptain gods, that was her worst fear. And it looked like it may have just come true.
#it’s been 10 years since this gosh darn show aired#I NEED a fabina endgame for my own damn sanity#it’s not even funny#how this show STILL has me in a chokehold#house of anubis#hoa#fabina#fabian rutter#nina martin#houseofanubis#sibuna#listen y’all#i love these dorks so much
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One Day Part 2- Rudy Pankow
GUYS, I am SO sorry. I didn't think it would take me this long to get to part two, and I would have finished it yesterday, had I not lost my documents to do with this story, so I actually lost a few people that wanted to be tagged, so if you find it and you’re not there, please message me and I will get you added. This part isn't what I originally wanted, I wanted more added but I didn't want to overload you guys, so it’ll be continued in the next part.
I hope you guys love this part.
Taglist: @thebendslikebendover @awkwardnesshabitat @dpaccione @danicarosaline @infinityspacesuniverse @pogues-never-say-die @poguescollins @collectiveuniverses @jjmaybankx @diorsfxck @1d5sosddl @k-k0129 @popcrone818
~
“You literally promised.”
“Something came up,” you tried again, looking up from your plate of food and at Henning, who had stolen a chair from a table that an older couple was sitting at and made room for himself as you sat at a little café with Kennedy, Zoe and Jamie for breakfast.
“Something came up?” Henning echoed, leaning his elbow on the arm rest and leaned closer to you. “You promised me and Jamie you’d come.”
You did promise him and you couldn’t deny it, but you also couldn’t tell him the real reason why you were suddenly going back on your word. The Pankow’s were having their yearly family cookout and they always extended the offer to you, despite the break up because they adored you. This year, when Jamie and Henning begged you to come, you agreed. Except, when you agreed Rudy wasn’t home. And you two didn’t have an argument on the back porch of Jamie’s cabin.
There was no way in hell you could go, but again you couldn’t tell Henning that his older brother was the reason why. To Henning, Rudy was absolutely everything. Rudy and Alec were idolized in his eyes, they were the reason the sun shined and the moon and stars came out at night. To you, Henning was still the little kid that ran around pulling your hair and annoying, granted he still actually did it, he didn’t fully understand what happened or why and you didn’t expect him too. You kept him in the dark because it didn’t concern him and you didn’t want to make him feel like he had to pick sides when you were still showing up to his soccer matches and joining Jamie and Penny and Andrew to his high school graduation. He was too young when you and Rudy broke each others hearts and he never experienced love like what was between you and Rudy, he just wouldn’t get it.
“I just can’t,” you said, lifting your coffee and taking a sip.
“Y/N, we live in freaking Alaska,” he said in a bored groan, “you work for your mom and dad, what could possibly have come up since two nights ago?”
“Henning, I just can’t,” you said, your voice a little loud. You closed your eyes briefly before turning your eyes onto Henning and you instantly saw Rudy in him. They couldn’t be more opposite, but he did the same thing Rudy used to do when you guys fought.
His jaw clenched, as if pushing his tongue against his teeth, before slowly dragging his eyes up to look at you, filled with disappointment. He was looking at you the same way that Rudy looked at you at the party. “Fine, Y/N.”
You sighed as he pushed the chair back, “Henning, wait.”
But he was gone, walking away in easy and long strides, heading towards his car. Your chest caved in on itself because you hated disappointing Henning.
“Y’know that Penny and Andrew are doing it for Rudy, right?” Jamie said softly, to your right. You looked at him to see him lifting his mug, “Penny would be upset if you bailed, especially since she asked if you’d come.”
If Jamie wanted to jab a little harder and add a little guilt trip into it, then adding about Penny was the freaking way to do it. You all but groaned at his words as the guilt suddenly washed over you.
You were totally aware that Penny would be upset if you bailed. You were also aware that it was for Rudy, you just didn’t know it when Jamie and Henning asked you to be there.. You didn’t know that Penny and Andrew were planning it in celebration for their son in the beginning, but now you could see it clearly. You also knew Penny would be upset if you didn’t show your face. Penny was like the mother of all mothers, in everyone’s eyes she was perfect. She was the one anyone could tell anything too, she was your mom when yours wasn’t picking up the phone. She had all but adopted Jamie when he and Rudy met in elementary school. She opened her arms wide when Rudy came home and announced you were his girlfriend and she kept those arms open when you broke up.
Penny and Andrew never made you feel awkward, or as if their son was better off without you. She was always warm and had a colorful aura about her, it was like she ignored the heart break you felt because all she wanted to do was act like the break up never happened. Sometimes you wondered if she was still silently rooting for you and Rudy and it made it harder, because you had to stop wishing for it.
“Jamie,” you started but then stopped yourself, looking down at your food. In all actuality, you didn’t know if you could see Rudy after two nights ago. It brought back too many feelings, too many memories and for some reason, you just couldn’t shake him, even years later.
Why would you subject yourself to it? Subject yourself to his judgmental eyes as he questioned your taste in men? He couldn’t judge, or speak on who you decided to date because it wasn’t his concern, he made it perfectly clear the type of friendship he wanted to keep with you. And that was the type of friendship that never spoke.
“You don’t even have to speak to Rudy,” Kennedy tried, trying to smile but failed miserably.
“What the hell, yes she does. It’s his party, dumbass.” Zoe argued before looking at me, “Listen, pull on those big girl panties and just go, for Penny.”
Zoe’s jab about quit being a pussy was softened by bringing up Penny, almost made you smile. Nothing bad could come out of going, right? Alec was finally home and you hadn’t seen him in years, it would make your week to see Penny and Andrew. And who knows, maybe Rudy will be so busy with talking with family and entertaining Chase that he wouldn’t even notice you there.
All you had to do was go, show your face to his parents, shove it in Henning’s face and stay for an hour. Tops. Then you can retreat back to your safe haven of a home and pretend like you were well on your way with moving on from Rudy.
Lying to yourself will get you no where.
You ignored the little voice in your head and said softly, “Fine.”
Jamie and Zoe looked all too smug that they had guilted you into it. Kennedy just sat there, raising her glass of water to her mouth, using her swallow of water to hide her smile. She might not have done as much as the other too, but she sure as shit was happy you’d be there.
While they went on with their conversation, talking about what they wanted to do this summer as a group, besides work and prepare for an upcoming final year of school. While this happened, you sat there silently and couldn’t help but start to feel like the world was sinking around on you.
What good would this bring you? Zoe and Kennedy understood where you stood with your feelings on Rudy, but for some freaking reason they were pushing and you didn’t understand what they were pushing for. Were they that blind, did they honestly believe Rudy would somehow stay longer than a week? Or two weeks? No, he wouldn’t. His life was now in California and yours was here, thousands of miles away. You were living separate lives and it was too different to pull off long distance… right?
Typically, summer days went quickly for you. It had a lot to do with the fact that you were either working or with your group of friends finding things to do, but today just seemed to drag on. You were stuck inside your head and couldn’t get out, wondering how tonight would go with Rudy somewhere nearby, your stomach was constantly swirling with nervous butterflies, heart thumping heavily as you slowly pulled up to the Pankow residence. Hands trembled and knees shook as you parked your car among the others that littered the street.
Just breathe.
It wasn’t like Rudy would be upset that you were going to show your face. It wasn’t like you and Rudy left Jamie’s porch angry at one another, in fact you heard the pain inside his voice and saw the sadness drowning his blue ocean eyes. You saw the way his eyes avoided you, could barely look at you as Tucker wrapped his arms around your shoulders, as if he could barely stomach the idea of you being with someone that wasn’t him.
Rudy being home threw you off so deeply that you hadn’t really talked with Tucker the last few days. You’ve been so stuck in the memories and living in the world of what if that Tucker hadn’t been on your mind, but he didn’t seem to mind. You and Tucker weren’t officially together, he wasn’t your boyfriend, you two were just dating and having fun. Or attempting to have fun.
Just breathe.
The backyard of the Pankow residence was swimming with people. Lots of them you recognized from his family, his uncles and aunts and cousins and family friends, teachers that Rudy had bonded deeply with. But no where did you find the familiarity of Zoe’s deep green eyes, or Kennedy’s blonde hair, of Jamie’s laugh that seemed to calm you as you stood, sticking out like a sore thumb.
You wiped your sweaty palms over the thighs of your ripped jeans, tugging your light sweater closer to your chest, looking around for them.
A blur of short, light colored hair and blue dress moved around you but then whirled around after seemingly catching sight of you.
“Well, well, look who decided to grace me with her presence.” Penny teased, coming to a stop in front of you while carrying a big bowl of salad.
Your cheeks flamed as she grinned at you. “Hi, Penny.”
“Aren’t you a sight,” she said, taking you in. “You aren’t the skinny little seventeen year old anymore, are ya?”
“Oh, god, please stop.” You groaned, your hand covering your cheek, attempting to stop the blush. You hated when she did this, giving compliment after compliment when she saw you. You didn’t think you changed too much since seventeen, but apparently you did. You gained a few pounds, thank you college, hair longer and better choices in clothing.
Penny laughed and stepped towards you, “Bring it in, hon.”
Penny balanced the bowl on her hip and opened an arm wide, you couldn’t help yourself in feeling giddy. You always loved Penny. You had a great relationship with your parents, but Penny was Penny, and the idea of seeing her smiling at you was part of the reason why you got out of your car.
She rubbed your back and pulled away, “You’re not leaving this house until we catch up, so have some wine and food and I’ll find you.”
“Deal,” you promised her and watched as she walked away.
For the first time all day, your lungs opened up and a steady breath filled your body. It released in a heavy puff, but you finally felt somewhat comfortable being here. Now, all you had to do was find your friends.
“They’re in the kitchen.”
You nearly fell over by the sudden voice that appeared behind you, startling you and making you whirl around to find Rudy standing there, with his hands in the front pockets of his light jeans. Your heart screamed at you as one hand reached up and slid through his hair and rested on the back of his neck, “Kennedy and Zoe dragged Jamie inside to make margaritas… that’s who you’re looking for, right?”
He looked so handsome in his jeans and white button up shirt, that was tucked into the waist of his jeans. You felt your heart thump to a soft murmur of his name. Rudy.
“Why am I not surprised?” you said, finally finding your voice.
“Yeah, apparently Zo and Kenn don’t like beer?” He asked, “and my aunt brought long island mix and that’s out of the question?”
As Rudy spoke, your face twisted into a grimace and your stomach twisted. Rudy smiled immediately at your face and you said, “We learned real quick at college that long islands are not our thing.”
“Yeah, Zo said something about snow angels in the dead ass of winter?” Rudy said, seeming to get rid of nervous tension in his shoulders and relaxing as he looked down at you, still grinning.
“Listen, the bartender was really nice but we didn’t know that those contain every liquor on shelf.” You defended, remembering the first winter break you guys had come home from college and ended up at a bar outside of town where the bartender didn’t card. “It didn’t hit us until Jamie and Collin tried getting us home.”
Rudy chuckled lowly, “god, what a sight that probably was.”
“I don’t actually remember doing the snow angels, but I woke up shivering and throwing up, massive hangover.”
This time, Rudy’s laugh was loud and you suddenly felt a swell inside your chest that resembled proud. Proud that you made him laugh like you used too, the type of laugh that had his head tilting back and his eyes closing briefly. He looked back down at you and shook his head, “Baby-” Rudy caught himself, quickly recovering, “Y/N, come on. You shouldn’t have trusted the bartender.”
You almost didn’t catch it, but you were paying such close attention to him that it was clear as day. The last few minutes felt too closely to old times that it showed you he still hadn’t broken the habit of calling you baby, you almost begged him to say it again, just to hear it roll off of his tongue.
The idea of hearing it again had you blushing and looking down. You cleared your throat before lifting your head and motioning to Rudy’s porch, “In the kitchen?”
Silently, still watching you, he nodded. You moved around him and started making your way inside. Rudy followed you, and suddenly you went from being calm to your palms sweating, all because he called you baby.
Your friends were where he said, standing in a corner of the kitchen next to the blender. Jamie stood with Rudy’s friend, Chase, with beers in their hands while the two girls looked excited for the mixed drinks, a bottle of Patron sat next to the blender.
Kennedy was the first to see you and a broad grin broke out on her face, “Best friend!”
You laughed as Zoe’s head whipped around, her arms widening at the sight of you. “Bestie!”
“Friends!” You exclaimed excitedly and left Rudy, bouncing towards your friends and giving Zoe a tight hug, despite just seeing them this morning.
“Good lord, we just saw her,” Jamie said as you let go of Zoe and faced Jamie. You felt less nervous as you were surrounded by your three friends, despite Rudy took the spot between you and Chase. You reached and grasped either side of Jamie’s face and planting a sweet kiss on his cheek. “Yeah, yeah, get off.”
Despite telling you to get off, Jamie’s arm wrapped around your waist. You laughed and smiled at him, “Good to see you, Jamie.” You said as his arm finally unraveled and rolled his eyes. You finally took your spot between Rudy and Zoe again, your arm accidently brushing against Rudy’s warm skin and almost halting you, but then you felt the light glide of his fingers through the sweater and shirt, against your lower back.
“You must be Y/N,” Chase said, turning his eyes onto you.
“Hi,” You said, giving him a smile, which only made his warm one grow. “Chase, right?”
He nodded, “Nice to finally meet you. Rudy’s told me a lot about you.”
You almost groaned with a slight grimace, “good things?”
Chase grinned, “great things.”
You slowly lifted your eyes to look at Rudy, and could have sworn that his cheeks had gone pink but he covered it up by lifting his beer and taking a sip. He didn’t meet your eyes and you felt a small twinge of disappointment, so while your friends went on to make plans for hiking tomorrow, you faced them and tried to engage in the conversation about wanting to show Chase around.
Rudy slowly leaned in, his heat filling up your side as his mouth dropped to your ear. “How could I not talk about you?” He whispered, making your heart stop inside your chest. When he pulled back a few inches you tilted your head to look at him, no smile or humor filled his face. His bright eyes were just watching you, taking in your eyes and blushing cheeks, pausing to look at your parted lips while the tip of his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip.
“I always talk about you,” he whispered again, finally drawing his eyes up to yours.
It was like you could hear his heart pound with two words. One Day.
#rudy pankow#rudy x reader#rudy x you#rudy pankow imagine#rudy pankow smut#jj x reader#jj x you#jj maybank x y/n#jj outer banks#jj maybank#kie obx#Outer Banks#john b routledge#chase stokes#madelyn cline#madison bailey#jonathan daviss
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Nothing But Her - Henry Deaver x Mistress
Warning: 18+ cheating/mature themes/strong language/spousal conflict
Note: It’s been about 2 months since the last installment of HxM, and I apologize for that. As you all well know, this year has been the topper on the world’s largest pile of shit, and I’ve tried to limit my time on the internet to not lose touch with my present reality. Aside from that, some writing burnout and adapting to the new norm posed some delays. But this is the angsty part I warned y’all about! It’s also a pivotal moment for Henry, so I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!
Read past Henry x Mistress imagines here > Masterpost
Quarantine pushed back Henry’s court hearing. While business ground to a halt, you and Henry spent the weeks alone in his penthouse. He had his work meetings via Zoom calls and enjoyed his nights next to you on the couch watching your favourite shows. Over the weeks, you got to know Henry even better, learning and appreciating his quirks and figuring out what made him tick. It was a surreal experience living under the same roof as your lover. After years of being on your own, having another presence to fill the days with conversation and entertainment was a new, exciting notion. Even though you grew bored several times a day, Henry kept you occupied that didn’t involve rolling around in the sheets. It brought you even closer—the opposite effect it seemed to have on some of your friends and their partners.
Three months of domestic bliss oozed by, and soon, the business had to resume. Meetings had to be held in person, and you started arranging his schedule to accommodate his clients and the process of his divorce.
The rescheduled court date took place in two weeks. It was the first time Henry would go in front of a judge and explain the reasoning behind his failed marriage and why he should be granted an even split of the assets. Mary’s lawyers had already outlined her demands, but all Henry wanted was to sign the paper that freed him from her, no matter what she wished to gain from the proceeding. If she wanted the house and the more expensive car, and to sell their Summer cottage and take half the money, he was more than happy to oblige. He had all he needed when he was at home with you.
Henry was on a smooth road toward his goals until a letter arrived in the mail from his soon-to-be ex-wife’s lawyer. Henry opened the envelope and scanned the first few lines, skipping vital information before shaking his head and refocusing his attention. As Henry read, his stomach dropped. The hand holding the page shook before he balled up the paper and threw it on the floor. Anger gurgled in his chest as he took useless deep breaths.
“Fuck!” He shouted, alerting you from across the condo.
You found him in the kitchen, pacing and tugging at fistfuls of his hair.
“Henry, what’s the matter?” You asked.
“What’s the matter? The matter is: Mary just scrapped our settlement! She wants it all. Everything! She wants the condo, my car... The summer house.”
“What are you talking about?” You asked, scoffing. “I thought she agreed to an even split?”
“Says right here, the settlement is up for renegotiation because there are new allegations of infidelity.”
“Infidelity? You mean?—Oh, no. Henry. What does that mean?”
He picked up the paper and smoothed out the creases, slapping it down on the kitchen island for you to read. “It means she’s coming after me because I’m with you. This will maim us. If she has proof... Oh, God. I don’t even want to think of the sneaky shit she’s probably done.”
“There’s no proof! We started seeing each other after you separated.”
“But, we hooked up before then.”
You shook your head. “She can’t prove that.”
Henry went white as the paper glaring up at you from the countertop. “And what if she can? What then?”
“You have job security, Henry.”
“I have a bad feeling,” he mumbled to himself. “A very, very bad feeling something’s up.”
“What do you mean?”
“I have to talk to her... Figure out why she’s doing this after we agreed to be civil.”
Your throat constricted as a grave veil fell over Henry’s face.
“Can you call her?” You asked.
“I could, but I think this would be better suited to a face-to-face conversation. Mary can’t hide anything if I’m looking her straight in the eye.”
“Well, if that’s what you think. But what if she refuses to talk to you?”
Henry threw his hands wide, shrugging. “Honestly, babe, I don’t know what’s going on in her head. She’s... She’s fucked!”
You rose your eyebrows, his cursing a testament to genuine anger. Henry rubbed his jaw, shifting it to one side until it cracked. He couldn’t keep still, and you knew he wouldn’t be able to calm down until he got the newest issue out of the way.
“You should go talk to her. Today. Don’t put it off. I don’t like it when you get in these moods.”
“Neither do I, sweetie. But I can’t just drive over there and demand she explain herself.”
“Why not? It’s still your house. You can do whatever you want.”
He weighed his options, considering your input and gave another long, strained sigh. “You really think I should?”
“Yes! Go to her now before this goes too far to fix. She can’t pull this shit and expect you to roll over and get screwed. You worked hard for what you have, and you deserve half. She’s the one who initiated the separation by treating you like dirt. Now she wants to drain you all of a sudden? After months of negotiations, she just scraps it all? If I were you, I’d go in there guns blazing.”
Henry thought it over, dreading the thought of facing Mary again.
“You’re right,” he bit his lip. “God! You’re right, babe. I have to go over there.”
“I’ll be right here when you get home, handsome. You just let me know if you need a drink ready and waiting for you.”
“Thank you, baby. I love you so much. Gosh, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I love you too, Henry. Now go on.”
~*~
The street, although familiar to Henry, reminded him of how much life had changed. He drove by the houses he used to see on his morning jogs—structures that all fit a similar style around the block and lent the neighbourhood a comforting intimacy. He remembered the first time he and Mary turned down the avenue; newlywed and eager to get their life started in a quiet alcove of town, on a suburban strip. The houses had all seemed so large and intimidating at the time, but he had struck gold in his career, and nothing was too fancy for them.
The Lexus was in the driveway. That meant Mary was home, and the impending confrontation became more real. A knot formed in his stomach at the thought of seeing her again. He knew their exchange would not be a pleasant one and prepared himself with a few calming yoga breaths—the kind his girlfriend had taught him when they worked out together during the quarantine.
“You can do this, Deaver. Just stay calm. No matter how loud she yells. No matter what she says to insult you,” he murmured after turning the engine off, sitting in the driveway until he mustered the courage to get out.
Henry didn’t try the keypad on the door. Instead, he rang the bell to not catch Mary off guard by walking in unannounced, despite no warning of the change of heart on her end that brought him to his former home in the first place. Henry respected her privacy, though he knew she wouldn’t consider the same for him. Flashbacks of Mary storming into his bedroom at the condo while his secret lover hid in the bathroom dried out his throat, and he swallowed as the deadbolt drew back.
Mary gasped when she looked up at him, closing the door slightly in her surprise, then squaring her stance and tossing her hair off her shoulders.
“What do you want, pig?”
“I want to talk.”
“That’s what the lawyers are for,” she began to shut the door again, but Henry splayed his hand over the wood, stopping it from closing another inch.
“Mary. I’m serious. We need to talk. Inside.”
“You’re insane if you think I’m letting you in my house.”
“My name is still on the house, and you have no orders against me coming here. Please don’t make this more difficult.”
Mary studied her husband’s face for a flicker of insecurity, but there was none. The months he spent in the company of a loving woman had revitalized his confidence, and her frigid glare no longer held him hostage. Henry came to Mary prepared for anything she might have left in her repertoire of vilification. She had already accused him of hiring prostitutes, embarrassed him in front of his employees and colleagues, belittled him in the presence of their lawyers and accosted him at the condo. Mary had nothing left with which to shock him.
“Fine,” Mary conceded, stepping out of his way. “Let’s talk, Henry.”
They sat down in the kitchen, old smells embedded in the plaster reminding Henry of different times, unhappier times. His eyes coasted over the stove they had purchased at Sears, the matching refrigerator, the countertop they selected out of catalogue as they sipped sweet tea in the living room and the dark floor laminate that had caused a minor argument. Though the memories were still so vivid, Henry knew not the man who’d fallen in love with Mary all those years ago. Looking at her now, it seemed impossible that he’d had any attraction to her at all. Not enough to justify the lavish proposal he’d given her, the hundred-thousand-dollar wedding and his commitment. Yet the house still possessed the comforting warmth Henry had fallen in love with when the realtor walked them through for the first time.
“Would you like something to drink?” She offered.
“No, thanks,” Henry lied, throat still parched from secret nerves.
“Very well. What would you like to talk about? And if you can keep it speedy, I’d appreciate it. I have an appointment in forty-five minutes.”
Henry sighed and rolled his knuckles on the kitchen table as she took the adjacent seat. “Why did you change your mind? I thought we had this all sorted out. You get the house, the Lexus, the boat and half the money from the cottage sale. It’s enough for you to retire on, Mary. Why are you coming after the condo now? And the Beamer? You don’t even like the thing.”
Mary pursed her lips. She had thought about this conversation many times in the last few days, and how it might play out, as she expected to hear from either Henry or his lawyer at any moment. What she didn’t expect was her husband to show up at the door, appearing composed and ready to have a mature discussion. But he didn’t know the truth yet, and she suspected, once she revealed it, Henry’s calm demeanour might shift.
“Did you not read the letter? I thought it was quite clear.”
A tendon in Henry’s neck pulled as he snorted and shook his head. “Infidelity. You think I cheated on you.”
“I know you cheated, Henry.”
“I’d like you to explain how you came to that conclusion.”
Mary pushed her chair out to cross one leg over the other, hands clasping around her knee as she gave a sarcastic smile. Henry rolled his eyes at the smug display, waiting for her to get comfortable.
“Witnesses. Timelines. Footage.”
“Footage?”
“After you kicked me out of the condo, I hired a private investigator.”
“We were already separated by then. You can’t hold that over me. It will never play out in court,” Henry explained.
Mary sniffed, flashing delight in her eyes at the chance to prove Henry wrong. “See, I thought so too, but then I started digging a little deeper, asking around, and lo-and-behold, I made the connection. It’s your assistant.”
Henry went pale. Mary’s smirk spread into a full-blown smile.
“Ah, there it is. You were always a terrible liar, Henry. That’s right. I know it’s her. I have irrefutable proof now.”
“No, that’s impossible. I started seeing her after we separated. And there’s no rule against me having a relationship with her. Yes, it may be frowned upon at work, but it’s not against policy.”
“You sure you don’t want that drink, Henry?” Mary asked, getting up to get herself a bottle from the fridge.
“I want you to tell me exactly how you think you have me cornered.”
Mary sat down at the table, looked at her watch, and then sighed. “Well, after I went to the condo to get some things and I saw the state of the place, that’s when I knew you had at least had a woman over. And yes, we were separated, but nobody knew at the time. You were still keeping it hush-hush. So, as I said, I hired a PI to find out if you were seeing somebody. At first, I heard nothing from the investigator. You two were diligent. But then, you slipped up in the parking lot on your way into work one morning.”
Henry knuckled the table, scoffing at what Mary had to say, though his heart hammered a dent in his chest. “That still won’t hold up. We. Were. Separated.”
Mary’s pointed smile disappeared in an instant. Her eyebrows came together, and the delight on her face melted into cold disdain. Henry saw that expression many times, suffered under the weight of it, and it always sent a shiver down his back.
“Oh, it will hold up,” Mary assured. “Because you made one colossal mistake.”
“Is that right? What, kissing my girlfriend because I was finally happy and in love?”
“No, you nitwit. We went to the benefit. Hundreds of our friends and colleagues saw us together. Theo and his wife sat with us all night and can confirm we were very much together. Couple that with the photos of you grabbing her ass and shoving your tongue down her throat in the lot at work, and you’re screwed. Looks like cheating to anyone but you.”
“Why the hell are you doing this to me? Did I not treat you right for our entire marriage—give you everything you ever wanted and more? I made sure you got the upper-class life and all the expensive little trinkets to go along with it. I did anything you asked of me. But still, any time I have even the smallest flame of happiness, you have to snuff it out! Why are you such a... Such a fucking bitch?”
The insult echoed through the kitchen and rattled in Mary’s head. Her eyes flared. “So you admit it then? You cheated.”
“I’d been miserable for a year and a half, Mary! After trying so hard to get you to come back to me, I was bound to give up. You despised me—you still do! And even after all this bullshit, you still won’t tell me why you treated me like a doormat for all those years.”
“I don’t need to explain myself to you.”
Henry threw up his hands. “Of course, you don’t! You’re not accountable for any of this, are you? You’re just a poor little victim! You’re so opposed to me finding happiness that you had to resort to hiring some idiot to follow me around!”
“Even if I didn’t hire somebody, I already knew. I knew it was her, too.”
“Oh, yeah? And how’s that? Did you hire someone to follow her around as well?”
“Your grandfather’s pen.”
Henry tweaked his mouth to the side, fluttering his eyes and shaking his head. “What about it?”
“You never let anyone touch it. You kept it on you at all times. Even during our happiest years, you wouldn’t have parted with the damn thing. Not even if I asked to use it. The day I came into your office—after my suspicions were already high—I saw her using it. And then I remembered her face. I’d seen her before. She used to work at the hotel we always stayed at across the city. That’s where you met her.”
Henry dropped his face into his hands, sighing through his fingers. He stayed that way for a long moment; the jumbling thoughts in his head creating fuzzy chaos. Mary had succeeded. He could deny it, but Henry was sick of the lies. Sucking a breath through his nose, he finally looked back up at Mary, his eyes bleary from pushing his palms into them.
“I fucked her in that hotel. In my room. I picked her up from the bar after we drank a tonne, and I fucked her. I ate her pussy all night, and, God... She fucked me like I’ve never been fucked before. And when I went to that big conference in Paris after I asked for a divorce, I flew her out to see me there. I’ve never had my cock sucked that well before. And you know what else? I think... Once we sign the divorce papers and you take everything I’ve earned, I’ll ask her to marry me. We won’t have shit, but I know I’ll be a thousand times happier with nothing but her than I ever was having everything with you.”
“You’re disgusting.”
“No, you’re the disgusting one! You had every chance in the world to make it right with me, but you drew out my pain like it got you off.”
A gaping silence pervaded the room. Henry felt beads of sweat emerge on his back, and he swallowed, regretting his refusal of the water Mary offered. Stunned by his brash admissions, she stared at the table as though what she would say next was written in the spalted wood. The pulse in his neck choked off any more confessions, though he longed to watch her blanch from across the table a little more. Only the humming of the refrigerator filled the silence.
Mary drew in a shaky breath. “Leave her.”
The two words bounced around Henry’s head for a second before he chuckled. “Never. I love her.”
“Leave her, and I’ll drop this. We can go back to fifty-fifty.”
Henry pushed his chair out swiftly, and rose to his feet, leaning over the table so far he came a foot away from Mary’s face.
“Fuck. You. I’ll see you in court.”
#bill skarsgard fanfiction#castle rock fanfiction#henry deaver x mistress#henry deaver fanfiction#bill skarsgard imagine
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Journal Entry #1: Loving Yourself
What positive traits do you have? Then show gratitude to God for them. Ponder on how you can best use your positive traits for your dreams and to help others. Think how you can further enhance your positive traits.
Hard Working and Doesn't give up easily
I may complain, I may have thoughts of quitting, I may say that I'm tired and that I want to give up but I always end up doing it anyway. I still do my best and put effort into everything that I do. I try to think that doing it is better than doing nothing at all, that's why I encourage myself to continue.
But of course if I work hard it doesn't always mean that the outcome would always be what I expected it to be. There are times where you did your best but won't get the results you wanted. And like any other human being I would feel down, and in my case I end up thinking about it the whole day and having no motivation to do anything. I just let myself release and feel my emotions rather than bottle it up. I already accepted the fact that hardships are inevitable but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. I don't like failing but I learn from the process.
After some time, I try again. I'll keep repeating to myself that it's okay, I did my best and that it's something to be proud of. I think of my why’s to move forward then I try to work harder again and improve.
I thank God for I have this trait and for he is the one who gives me strength. He's one of the reasons for me to continue having this trait of mine, if not I could just easily stop putting effort into things. He's the only one who knows what happens behind the scenes.
Gratitude
I appreciate and values the simple and small things, and I cherish the happy moments in life
Whenever I find myself in a situation that I'm happy and laughing or even just in a calming and comforting atmosphere I try to live in the moment. I always thought that I should remember that moment and make the most out of it because I won't know when I will experience it all again, I would feel really thankful for it. I observe and take it all in, it's also the reason why I love taking pictures and recordings. Because after sometime it will feel so unreal.
But I would also be very happy just being able to see the sunrise when I wake up, whenever I made someone laugh or hearing a simple thank you. To be able to sing and dance to my playlists in my room. I think these moments are often overlooked and taken for granted. We won't be able to remember these as much as the big moments in our lives, which is why I think it holds its own value. Compared to that achievement you made 4 years ago, or that one summer vacation that has a special place in your heart, you won't be able to remember now what made you laugh a week ago, that day where you got to checked off something out of your wish list, or that you were able to eat your cravings today.
And as a person who needs lots of help and asks lots of questions, I’m really thankful for those who help me. When I say thank you I really mean it and do my best to get back to them. I know showing that you’re genuinely thankful would make them feel that they are appreciated and not taken for granted.
These are why I try, if I don't forget, to list down the things I'm thankful for the day at night and say my thanks to God. I'm blessed with all the happy memories I have. These lists will be my motivation to continue when things are not okay. While I'm waiting for good days to come again, I'll say thank you for experiencing those kinds of happiness.
I try to change myself for the better
I wasn't that great of a person before but as I grew older I began to reflect more and that's when I started to see the mistakes I made. And now rather than making excuses for it, I acknowledge them and try to do things to improve. Like rather than procrastinating, I now try to be more productive even by 1 percent every day. Rather than comparing myself and my life to others, I now focus on what I have and what I am. I'm willing to change for myself and for others. But not in a way that I'm doing it to please them but rather to not hurt them anymore. This trait is what I'm thankful for the most because when I had it, it's like the start of being free from the me that I hated and closer to the person I want to be. If I didn't change sooner I'd only give myself a harder time which could delay me to accomplish lots of things. I thank God for he made me realize these, and was patiently waiting for me to come back to him.
Supportive/Encouraging
Supporting others, especially my loved ones, is the least I can do for them, as long as they are not causing any harm. It's important to have a strong support system and I would be glad to be included in that. This is my way of showing that I love them. They should know that they aren't alone and that we are rooting for each other. No matter the outcomes we will come running to them and say we are proud. Encouragement and support helps us to be more confident to do things because we know that we will always have each other's back. I love seeing my friends shine and most importantly when they realize that they do shine. I believe that they can achieve their dreams and try new things they are interested in if only they believe in themselves more.
I thank God for letting me see the good in others, I would be happy to let him use me in bringing out the best of them.
Good listener and Empathetic
I'm an active listener and I do my best so they would feel that they are being heard. I try to show them that I'm interested by active listening. I usually ask them questions to let them know that I am interested. Because for me asking questions helps me to think of it more, with that in mind I ask questions thinking that it may help them to think about possibilities and their feelings. While listening to them, I always try to put myself in their situations. I try to put myself in their situations especially if it's intense, I'd feel sympathy for them and at the same time I feel what they are feeling. I also tend to get upset and angry with what they're experiencing but of course I should still remain calm, if both of us were full of emotions we would end up being a mess. I just let them talk and wait for them to finish before saying anything, especially advice unless they ask. But listening is all I can offer to them since I'm not good at giving advices.
It actually feels great if someone asks you to listen to them because it means that they trust you enough to tell you the thoughts they have and they feel comfortable to tell you their problems, you also learn with their stories. I think it's proof that I'm doing a great job in my role as a friend or family. You know the person more when you listen to them.
_____________
As for my dreams, it won't just pop out of nowhere, I need to build it and that requires hard work and the need to change to change myself. But also I won’t take for granted the simple wins, simple things and the people who are with me during the process and won’t wait until I get the results to start being thankful. I would encourage myself as well as the people around me and together we reach our goals.
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𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 » Ellie & Becca
Ｊｕｌｙ ３１ｓｔ， １９９８
The saying goes as such: the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb... or whatever. Honestly I have only ever applied this proverb to my relationship with my sister whenever we weren’t in mortal peril. While I have plenty of friends and acquaintances who I’ve shared battlefields with (i.e. the morning after a party), that never made me any closer to them in a real crisis. I would say about seventy-five percent of the time that the blood is thicker than the water, and the remaining twenty-five percent is when the water isn’t necessarily thicker, but more pressurized. That’s the only time in our lives when we’ve ever come together as sisters.
Well, this is the twenty five percent, and never has the feeling of being sucked and trapped against a fissure at the bottom of the Challenger Deep been more realized than now. It doesn’t help that my bladder is about to implode and leak the citrus-flavored toxic waste I’ve consumed in rapid succession over the past half hour into my visceral fat and contaminate all my vital organs.
I waddle awkwardly through the narrow doorway of Page One and slam my tiny palm onto the countertop. A bookkeeper who I can recognize as my lab partner from sophomore year chemistry pokes his nose out from the novel he’s immersed in. Moby Dick. Jesus, who reads school assigned books after graduation?
“Hey, Drew-Drew,” I greet him, a lopsided grin fitted on my lips as he brushes his hair out of his eyes and offers me a smile in return. He has a lot more charisma than I remember. I think his eyes have gotten bigger and bluer, too. It reminds me of the water’s surface I’m staring up at from the very bottom of the ocean. “Where’s Becky at?”
Drew dog-ears his page — which is kind of disgusting to me, do they not sell bookmarks in this busted ass joint? — and he points toward the graphic novel section. “Over there, we just got Spider-Man #76, she’s stocking up.”
“... Didn’t #76 come out in January? Of last year?” I ask him. He opens his mouth so he can answer but I stop him with a raised hand. “No time. You’re lookin’ good, Drew-Drew, considerably less like a delicious pepperoni pizza. Keep it up with the Oxy Pads.” I say before pushing away from the counter and venturing off to my destination.
Indeed, my older sister is crouched down and rustling with a display, slightly disgruntled by the symmetry of the copies of Spider-Man she’s stocking. I don’t really have any witty remarks as a smooth enough introduction, so I settle with, “Need help?”
She whips around and I can almost hear the crack in her spinal cord from the velocity. “Lily?” she half-whispers. I forget that I haven’t seen her since late May, and also that I swore I’d never see her again.
“In the flesh,” I confirm and do a curtsey, which threatens my full bladder. I really need to piss soon or else I’ll die a terribly death in the shittiest bookstore on the eastern seaboard. “Do you have a sec? It’s 9-1-1.”
Becca’s expression shifts from awe and minor annoyance to something resembling concern as she pushes herself off her knees. “What is it?” she asks me, crossing her arms over her chest as a last resort defense mechanism.
I don’t hesitate to hold up the plastic Walgreens bag I’ve carted with me for two blocks. She recognizes the items inside and her eyes go all moony and her jaw slacks a bit. I jerk my brows up expectantly and she assumes the position of utter bewilderment.
“Do you have a place I can empty the biohazardous contents of my bladder? It’s about to necrotize,” I hiss at her. She reaches down, digs in her pocket, unearths a bronze key and walks ahead of me at full speed. I have to waddle after her like a newly hatched penguin chick. It would be more humiliating if over half the population of Eden were literate, but alas...
Becca jams the keys into the lock and just about bodychecks the door so we can enter the rectangular bathroom. It’s cramped and the lighting resembles something out of a Hitchcock film, but who the fuck am I to be picky about where I take the most important whizz of my life?
I place the bag on the counter and take out the three empty full-sized cans of Surge I used to fuel my bladder before picking up the grossest thing I have ever held: a pregnancy test. I keep it in my grasp for a few passing beats, nearly crushing the box underneath my iron-tight grip before man-handling it open and tearing out the plastic stick that will determine my fate.
“This is by far the most unholy fortune telling experience ever,” I decide to joke as I witness my sister cower in the corner. You’d think by the looks of it she were the one whose life was about to change forever. “You think if I shake it a genie will come out and grant me three wishes?”
“... Only if it’s negative, as a gift,” Becca chimes in at last. “Otherwise not even God can save you.”
I let out an involuntary snort, because while my reflexes register this as a funny joke, I am actually scared shitless.
I stare at the porcelain toilet bowl. I feel sicker now looking at it than when I’ve genuinely been at risk for vomiting up my lunch. I could still do that, I’ve been puking like a bulimic for weeks now. The thought is almost comforting. Almost. I bite the bullet instead and yank my pants down, my boy pants, which I normally wear as a boy when I’ve got slightly wider hips and more junk to hide and taller legs to protect with denim fabric. Fuck me.
“I just... Hold it and piss, right?” I ask her, as if she’s gone through this before. I know for a fact she hasn’t, or else this wouldn’t be our first time. I’m surprised it’s our first time, actually, thinking that karma would’ve caught up with me a long time ago.
“Just don’t get any on your hand.” Becca replies. Very helpful, I think, but rather than respond verbally I give a sigh of defeat and do what needs to be done. When my bladder is emptied an eternity later, I pull up my oversized pants and briefly grieve my dick before I place the test on the counter.
I glance over my shoulder at Becca, “It’s seasoned. Just gotta let it marinate.”
“Gross.” she says with a scrunched up nose.
I turn around and slide down the wall, an action she mimics a couple seconds later. I stare ahead, up at the light that’s screwed into a 70s pendant-shaped fixture, and pass the silence by making them flicker. I do this as a distraction from the materializing tension between us. Normally, this doesn’t happen, but then again our peril has only involved either extreme intoxication, pedos on AOL (during high school), or something about her and Gabriel’s arguments, which felt like walking through Reactor 4 in Chernobyl.
She’s the first one to say something.
“Whose is it? ... If it’s a thing,” she wonders, and as I look over at her I notice that her eyebrows are knitted together and her mouth is fixed downward. “... Please don’t tell me Topher’s.”
I chuckle at the idea. “I think if it were a thing and Topher’s, it’d have grown like a xenomorph baby and ripped itself out of my stomach by now,” I tell her. “I’d deserve that kind of karma for getting knocked up by him.”
“Xenomorph?” she says, and I open my mouth to offer an explanation before she finishes, “Alien. Right.”
“... Yeah, exactly,” I nod along. How in the hell did she remember that? We only ever sat through Alien and Aliens once, and I could’ve sworn she was too preoccupied reading a magazine to actually notice what was happening on screen.
I also notice that she’s wearing my favorite striped turtleneck. Stone cold bitch.
Some things never change, huh?
Shit, I think I might cry.
This is why we’re siblings, I think, so I can hate her for wearing my favorite turtleneck while sitting by her side as we await Satan’s final decision on the state of my cursed uterus.
Tears prickle my vision but I blink them away.
“Whose is it, then?” she wonders again. I visibly tense. This is probably where our unspoken, once-in-a-blue-moon loyalties end. How do you tell your sister that her ex-boyfriend is the reason you’re sitting in the dingy bathroom of her workplace with a piss-riddled stick inches away?
In the end, I don’t have to say anything at all. We look at each other simultaneously and she reads my expression with ease. Her features soften and I can see a glint of hurt in her eyes, and I expect ripples of betrayal to make themselves known across the rest of her body soon enough. But those ripples never come. The water I thought was loosening from around me doesn’t make a goddamn move.
I’m still at the bottom of the Deep, but she’s with me now.
Her hand grips mine. Tight. I can feel our pulses match up in our paralleling wrists.
“I think it’s been enough time.” I say eventually. She doesn’t release my hand. Our shared warmth creates a comfortable friction between us. “... Will you hate me after this?”
Becca squeezes my hand. A heart beat jumps out from her touch to mine. “I think I’ve hated you enough for one summer.”
A smile flickers on the corner of my lips and I slowly depart my hand from hers. My palm is slick with sweat but I don’t mind. I stand up and feel my equilibrium struggle to steady itself before I’m ready to approach the counter. The test is still there, so I know this wasn’t an abstract fever dream I’ve had after discovering so much eerily similar history.
I’m not a fucking coward. I’m looking this shit straight on, no matter what. Do you think I’m afraid of a sign? Totally not. I lean over and stare down, my gaze idling at the base before finally fixating on the panel.
+
Holy shitstickers.
“... Becca?” I call out, my voice half gone from unknown forces. She perks up and I see her reflection in the mirror with widened eyes. “Do you have five bucks? I’m gonna need more Surge.”
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Welp here’s a one shot no one asked for but I wrote this for a friend who also loves Kayn and had been feeling kinda down about their body lately and I really hope this cheers you up a bit!
Kayn x Chubby!Fem!Reader
Warnings: Mild NSFW
Summer in Ionia could get very warm and humid, so much so that it felt like a sauna outside. On these days nothing was better then taking a dip in the many rivers and lakes Ionia had to offer. Thats where you were headed now, to a nice secret swimming spot you’ve had since you were a child. You never did liked to go swimming when there were others around. Too much noise, horseplay, and judgmental eyes. You weren’t exactly thin. Being a bit full around your middle, backside and thighs always made you feel uncomfortable and no matter how hard you tried it just never seemed to go away. It made you stand out amongst all the lithe, thin, graceful women of your village that would sometimes stare at you with distain. They always made you uncomfortable in your own skin everyday until a couple months ago when you seemingly meet your Heartlight, Kayn. He was just so inexplicably drawn to you. You didn’t stare at him with the usual cowering fear of him when he walked into your shop for supplies, even when you knew he was part of the Order of Shadows and even had the audacity to sass him. Something in him stirred that day and he wanted more so he kept coming back practically everyday until out of the blue he asked you out. Most people would have declined being courted by the right hand of the shadows but he was so bold, quirky, and ridiculously attractive you couldn’t say no.
Now, your home is a second home for him and every few days, or weeks depending on his assignments, he’d come to stay with you for awhile to take a break from his missions. Today was the day he’d arrive and you left a note on your door so he’d know where to find you. As much as you love him you were not going to suffer on this horribly humid day, he’d be fine he’s a big boy. You walk for a couple more minutes when the sound of rushing water drifts in your ears. You pull back some overgrown vines to reveal the waterfall framed by summer flowers that summoned you to this spot. You smile excitedly at the prospect of not sweltering anymore and quickly place a bag with extra clothes you brought on a rock and remove your shoes and short thin robe just to cover you on your trek through the woods. Underneath you wore your swimming outfit, a form fitting crop top and a bit short shorts. You never did like some of the skimpier swimming out fits some of the other women wore and chose to keep it simple. Not waiting a moment longer you dove into the cool water and immediately sigh in relief. This was the absolute best.
You floated there for a few minutes before starting to swim to the grotto under the waterfall. Underneath was a nice little alcove that was perfect for getting out of the sun but still staying in the water. A rock in the back was just out of the water enough for you to sit on but still keep your legs in the water. As you hopped on and sat on it however you couldn’t help but feel your body…jiggle and something touching the skin of your thighs. You look down and feel a flash of embarrassment as you realize that thing was your stomach gently resting on your thighs. Immediately a knot formed in your guts and a feeling of dread sets in. It had seemed like you had put on some weight and in these somewhat tight and revealing clothes it was blatantly noticeable. Oh gods, why? How did this happen? How did you not notice? Granted you knew you were a bit plump but you were usually so careful about not getting more plump. Your mind races as to what happened to cause this and a only one predominant thing came to mind, Kayn. You know he probably didn’t mean for this to happen at all but as you two dated he noticed you liked sweets and whenever he’d travel and think of you he’d bring you back treats if he could just to make you smile. You could never turn them down, they were from your love after all, and more often times then not they were delicious and you couldn’t help but eat them all.
You glare down at the offending mass in your lap and experimentally touch it and grimace when your hand sinks into its softness. You move your hands around the rest of your body to inspect the damage your just noticed. Your sides softened and began to roll in the middle and was pouring over the lip of your shorts. Shorts that suddenly felt tighter then normal. They squeezed your thighs just enough to make them puff out the bottom of the fabric. The moment of mortification for you was when you felt your backside. It easily filled your hands and spread far more while you sat then you had expected. How long had you looked like this? Had Kayn noticed? Oh Gods, you couldn’t let him see you like this! He hadn’t seen you in such revealing clothing and you were sure he’d be disgusted if he saw you now. Your thoughts fill your head and block out the sound of someone entering the grotto and calling out to you. Something moved in close to you and in the corner of your eye you see Kayn looking at you in confusion. In your shock of seeing him you scream and fall back into the water. You pop back up only to hear his laughter and see his smug face. You give him a glare and curl in on yourself. This action makes him raise a brow. He swims closer to you and tries to embrace you. Oh no, you couldn’t let him touch you. You couldn’t bare to see his face contort into disgust upon feeling your plushness. You push firmly on his chest in an attempt to get him away, which only confuses him more and makes him more determined to hold you. He overpowers you quickly and has you in his arms then pouts at your behavior.
“What’s wrong? You never push me way. Did I do something to upset you?” Oh no, he thinks its him thats the problem. You shake your head and try to squirm out of his grasp only to be held down by his iron grasp. He frowns more deeply this time.
“If it’s not me then what is it? Come now, don’t be ridiculous and just spit it out already.” He says with a lace of frustration in his voice. You turn red and wish you could just get out of this conversation but Kayn was as stubborn as a Mule and won’t relent until he gets his answer. You sigh deeply. Time to face the music you suppose.
“I-I guess I’m just feeling a bit self conscious right now because I put on some weight and I know you would be disgusted with me.” You can’t meet his eyes. It would hurt too much to see that handsome face turn into another face of judgement. Instead of instant rejection he just huffs out a short laugh and places a kiss upon your cheek.
“That’s all? I already noticed you had put on some weight but, admittedly, I liked where it was going.” He says with some cheekiness in his voice. You look up at him and he has a wide cheshire grin plastered across his face. You suddenly gasp and instinctively swat his shoulder as his hands roam down and feel up your larger backside.
“It was also rather bold of you to just assume I’d find you disgusting for such a trivial thing. Your appearance was not the reason I fell in love with you, it was just an added bonus really.” You blush brightly and he chuckles. The knot in your stomach loosens slightly but you can’t shake off the rest of your doubt. You know he’s not lying, he’s too blunt, but you can’t help but feel nervous. Kayn catches on from your facial expressions and sighs.
“You are an obstinate woman. You truly doubt my love for you? Here, let me show you just how much I love you.” He quickly and suddenly moves you both through the water back to where you were sitting earlier and lifts you up to sit you back down. Your taken back a bit by his strength and thrown right back into embarrassment as he pushes your legs apart and he settles between them. His face comes right up to your soft stomach and you feel the need to wrap your arms around it. He stops you and holds your arms apart leaving your tummy exposed to his golden eyes.
“Don’t be shy, my love. You don’t need to hide anything from me. Now, where to begin.” He hums for a moment and you don’t know what he’s thinking. Your answer comes quickly though as he releases your arms and in a blink of an eye has his muscular arms wrapped around your middle and his face buried into your pudgy center.
“Kayn!” You exclaim loudly. You put your hands in his raven black hair and tug softly to try to get him off but he just burrows deeper and starts to kiss your rounded middle. You had never been so red in your life as Kayn loves up your body. Large calloused hands working your sides, sinking in as far as they’d go, his face engulfed in your ample belly, leaving kisses on as much of it as he can.
“Mmm, so soft, so warm. Why would you want to deny me this?” He asks through half lidded eyes of pleasure. If you thought your face couldn’t get any redder you were apparently wrong. You could practically feel steam coming off your face as you looked at his expression.
“I-I guess I thought I’d be too big for you. I didn’t think a guy as handsome as yourself would want to be seen with me.” He pauses his ministrations and looks at you with a face of exasperation.
“You’ll never be too big for me. I do tend to be a bit greedy when it comes to you and I WILL have all of you no matter how much of you there is. Like I said earlier, love, I did not fall in love with your body first. As long as the soul inside stays the same I do not care the vessel it comes in. Though, I am quite pleased with this one. You will most definitely be my cushion from now on.” You can’t help but smile at his words and dip down to kiss his forehead. He smiles victoriously and once more goes in to place a deep kiss on the lower half of your belly before pulling you into the water to float on top of him. You start to giggle softly from all his affections.
“Feeling better my, Heartlight? Do you still doubt my love?” You shake your head and reach up to ensnare him into a kiss that he happily returns.
“I do feel much better, thank you. I’m sorry I doubted your affections.” He smiles with a touch of arrogance.
“You should be. It wounds me that you would think I was so low. I think you need to make it up to me.” He says with a mischievous tone. Your nervousness returns slightly as he pretends to think about what he wanted just to make you sweat bullets for a moment. Your anxiety doesn’t allow you to wait very long and you have to ask.
“What do you want me to do?” He stops thinking and smirks with his fangs that make him look even more devious then normal.
“So eager, darling? Not to worry it won’t be anything bad. In fact, I know your going to enjoy it too. All I want is, when we return home, for you to let me fully show my love for you.” You look at him quizzically for a moment before you can feel him thumbing at the hem of your shorts. Oh. Ooooh. Your face immediately inflames and he laughs out as you swat him in the chest.
“Your such a perv.” You mumble out and he chuckles a bit deeply.
“Only for you and only if you let me.” It was your turn to laugh. You then lay your head on his breast bone and kiss his chin. He returns the gesture to your forehead and then brings his hands to your sides and starts to fondle your softness gently. Perhaps it was foolish to think that your Heartlight wouldn’t love you because you were a bit heavier. Quite frankly he seemed to be enjoying it more then anything and if you let him he’ll enjoy all of that too. You feel one of his hands reach your face and cup the curve of your supple cheek and begins to rub his thumb across it tenderly. His eyes full of love and affection. Yeah definitely a bit foolish.
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A Divine Vision
Summary: Gilbert is praying alone in the cathedral when he receives a sudden visit of a mystical being.
Rating: K+ - Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes.
Words:1800
Notes: Yes, a Support fic. Very unoriginal. Sue me.
The hour was late. The monastery was quiet, not even the animals in the woods around Garreg Mach were bustling with any sort of noise.
Predictably, the cathedral is empty. Not even Dimitri, who usually hung around the pile of debris, was anywhere to be seen, and this is how Gilbert preferred it, so he could pray to the Goddess in peace. He knows the breath on his lungs was a violation of his holy covenant with Sothis and the Blaiddyd royal dynasty, but he could not help but find his prayers absolutely shameful
If he had done his job properly, there would be little need to pray for the dead, after all.
“Eternal rest grant unto them, O Goddess, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. May the King and his family rest in peace and amongst their brethren. Amen.”
As soon as he finishes his prayers, he hears a pebble falling from the mountain of rubble. His sensitive ears, honed by years of military service, alert for a presence within the cathedral. His large right hand grips the sword he carries around his waist, ready to draw in defence.
More and more pebbles fall, and anxiety grows exponentially in the heart of the knight. Whatever it is, it is probably big.
Soon, Gilbert turns his eyes toward the source of the noise. He realizes the rubble is not falling down; rather, it is oddly falling up, higher and higher.
As he looks to his left, a strong pulse of force passes through him, and while it is mostly harmless, it does banish the numerous pews away. The broken glass on the windows is quickly restored to its former glory, depicting the twenty-six known patrons of Crests.
Finally, with the nave completely and magically rebuilt, the clouds clear and moonshine bathes the altar. Gilbert remembers it is only the first crescent, and the light should not be strong enough for such clarity in the temple. Alas, the Moon shone as if it was larger than full.
The cathedral is as beautiful as it was five years ago, but with a most important difference. By the altar, sat a large stone throne, which carried the symbol of the Holy Flame. It was the throne of the Goddess at the Blue Sea Star.
There, lounging comfortable on the hard stone as if it was the finest cushions in Adrestia, was a girl. Not too young, about two and twenty, but still much younger than his sixty years on this earth. She donned fine silk and gold, in a short fit on her lithe body. Her hair was green and voluminous, held up by an encrusted band and flowing down the entire length of her back.
“Oh, hello there, sir knight.” She greeted amicably. “How are you faring this evening?”
Gilbert strengthened his grip on the sword and took a step back. Innocent-looking or not, this was a powerful being, and it would not do to lower one’s guard.
“Oh, please, sir Pronislav. This are not the manners your mother instilled you with, and I am sure it has not passed so long for you to forget them.” The girl sneers derisively. “We are amongst friends here. Drop your sword and come closer.”
“I know you not, fiend.” He grumbles, trying to keep his voice steady. “Let me leave and you shall not have anything to fear from me.”
The girl chuckles, as if the notion amuses her. “Whether I release you or not has absolutely no bearing in my fear from the likes of you. I wish you could just recognize me, dear knight, it would make for more efficiency, but if you insist to be so, very well.”
Suddenly, from the yards that separated them, Gilbert was thrust forward, kneeling over the feet of the girl, who looked down with an amused smile on her face, as if waiting for the punch of a very funny joke. It was terrifying.
Though, truth be told, he was not thrust with force or violence, but rather as if the space between them did not exist anymore. It was as soft as a blink.
Gilbert, then, raises his eyes to the figure. From the feet decorated with gold, to the left hand on a lean hip covered in silk and the pale green eyes of a muted Summer. He knows this person.
“Pro-professor!” He stutters. “What is happening?”
The green-haired teacher lets out a melodious and unrestrained laugh. “Not quite, sir knight. You see, the one you call professor and I are, indeed, two faces of the same being. Alas, for now, we are separated. I who stand before you am Sothis, the Goddess of this land. You may address me as you prefer.”
His breath catches on his throat. “It cannot be!”
“It is what it is, sir knight.” She dismisses with a wave. “Or would you prefer I call you Gustave? Your mother has introduced you to me by this name, after all.”
He says nothing, still shell-shocked with the ramifications of what he must be seeing. Is he dead? Mortals are supposed to meet with the Goddess only when they pass. Or is he hallucinating, perhaps?
“It is very rude to call one you have evoked for so many times a hallucination, you know? You are not dead either. This is boring and I have much to do, so believe what you want, I do not care.” The so-called goddess huffed. “Now, you have come to me with a request, one you have brought forward many times. What is it?”
The old man frowned. “Are you not the Goddess? Should you not know?”
“Indulge me, will you?” Sothis rolled her eyes. “If I am the Goddess, then you are my servant and should do what I say, not question me. If I am the professor, she would not know any of it. If I am a hallucination, well, there is no one else for me to talk to other than you, and I would think it preferrable to waste a few moments in redundancies.”
Gilbert sighed. “Very well. I have asked for King Lambert Blaiddyd and his wife to rest in peace.”
“Which one?” She chuckled, as if finding her own joke amusing. “I jest, I jest. You would do well smiling more, you know?”
“Excuse me, your holiness, but I did not find it funny at all.” He responded, with his face in a frown.
“Fine, fine.” She dismisses. “Tell me this, then. You have a goddess before you, one who can grant you any desire you might ever have. Why do you ask for the rest of a long-dead king?”
“Is there anything else I can do?” He counters. “You must know I was in service of the royal family, yes? Of the oaths I have taken in your name? When I was only a young soldier, the king saw fit to make a knight of me. I was given the great honour of guiding and protecting the royal family.”
“Yes, yes, I recall.” Sothis says, as she takes a seat on the throne, as if the subject bores her so. “You have taught both Lambert and Dimitri on the lance, you have offered your candid advice, you have served them faithfully even in face of reservation, which you have certainly had a lot. Until…”
“Until that day.” Gilbert finishes the woman’s phrase. “I was...powerless. When I received word of the attack, it was already too late. His Majesty was dead, along with many knights and soldiers. If only I had made it to Duscur more quickly...”
“This is for me to know and you to wonder.” The green-haired girl smirks. Her teeth were clean white and straight. “Then what happened?”
“After that, I abandoned my wife and child, and fled my homeland. I turned my back on everything I swore to protect.” The warrior finishes the tale with a forlorn look on his aged face. “It is my fault that the King has died, and it is my fault that His Highness, Dimitri, has become... The way he is now. My sins are countless. I will bear the weight of my guilt for as long as I live.”
Sothis avoids his ice-blue eyes, in a solemn expression.
“Perhaps you will, indeed. I have no bearing on the hearts and minds of my children, adopted or otherwise. Only you are the lord of your soul, Gustave, and only you will decide when it is time to let go of the guilt.” The mystical being declared, and then looked at him with a softer look. “However, you must know that praying will not help them.”
“I repeat, what else can I do?” He spats, bitterly. “Apologizing to my daughter and wife. Devoting myself to His Highness. That is the way to atonement, and yet... Even if I am granted the forgiveness of those who still live, praying is all I can do to atone to those who are with us no more...”
“Oh, Gustave…” She says as if he is a naïve child. “I cannot say whether Lambert or Patricia live in my realm or were banished to Ailell, and I cannot say whether you shall end up, either. What I can say, however, is that, wherever they ended up, it was by their own making, not mine or yours. What I can say is that the concerns of the dead are hardly past grievances or the way of their death. What I can say is that, while past actions warrant repent and reflection, there is only one path, and it is forward.”
“Long ago, there was someone who told me something quite similar, and yet, I still find myself unable to follow through with this advice.” The man sighed, worn as if he had returned from a long war. “Forgive me. This will not do. As I grow older, I find myself talking endlessly about the past.”
“Don’t they all?” She smirked. “It seems our time is coming to a close. I cannot tell you what to do, Gustave. I can only hope you make the right choices. Sooner or later, no matter what path you take, you shall arrive at the same place, and then we will know what must have been done.”
A soft breeze blew from nowhere and with that, Gilbert was back to the nave of the Cathedral, alone, as it was before he talked to the girl.
Goddess or not, there was sage advice on her speech. Yet, he is a stubborn man and cannot change so drastically, so quickly.
“Eternal rest grant unto them, O Goddess, and let perpetual light shine upon them.”
*_*_*_*_*
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To the Stars, The Moon Pleaded “Stay”
Sasuhina Month 2020
Day 1
Rated T
She is a most wonderful vision.
A figure of sensuality and virtue as if tailored by the gods to bring about salvation and sanctuary to this undeserving mortal ground.
With skin pristine like unstained glass and smooth like tender velvet bathing soothingly in the essence of the sun as if beckoning and rejoicing in its warmth.
Her hair dark, lustrous and silky beyond words in its descent against her form as if embracing her in protection and serenity.
And her eyes, wide and jolly, the most captivating shade of lavender, bewitching and consuming beyond comprehension.
How is it, he wonders, that a woman like her exists?
How is it, that her mere presence provokes this intense change in the contractions of his heart, in his gathering of breath, in the formation of his thoughts?
She is more than beauty, more than grace, more than warmth, more than light.
She is kindness and respect.
She is honesty and compassion.
An angel fallen from the sky, a fairy without wings.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
After all, it had been her, the one that handed him the stars, the one that found him in the dark. When he was drowning in the pain, in the loneliness of his own insignificance she had dared to reach her hand, to look at him and form a smile.
“Please don’t cry, don’t let tears inside your heart when there is so much happiness around. Smile instead, all teeth and wide, and I promise that this pain that hurts so bad…it will be banished to the sky”
It is a memory of youth, his most precious treasure.
He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind. Merely the second son, the shadow of his brother, the spare of his father.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
He knows his place, he knows his role.
“Lady Hyuuga turns more beautiful everyday, doesn’t she?”
“She does, undoubtedly so”
He can feel his lips smiling, his expression lost in the gift that is her. He allows himself to indulge, if only just this once, to gaze once more at her eyes, at her nose and her lips.
How is it, he wonders, that he is so lucky to be alive at this moment?
His eyes turn to his right, resting on his favorite cousin before turning around ready to head back to the station.
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” Shisui asks, and despite the smile lifting his lips there is something sad about his eyes
“I know my place, I know my role” he smiles, all teeth and wide “come on Shisui, there’s a ton of paperwork waiting for us”
He’s unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
But there is much he can still do, much more still left for him to give.
He can vie for her protection, bring peace within the walls.
He can take the burden off her friends, can take the troubles off her mind.
He can wish for her happiness, can pray for her health.
However far she may be, however unreachable to him, he can still try with all his might to keep the smile that she once gave, all precious and irreplaceable, illuminating her face.
.
.
.
.
She’s an exhilarating performance, all fierceness and grace following wherever she goes.
Her movements, so calculated and precise, cast judgement upon the wicked in a continuous dance of silence that holds a simmering gentle fury in each and every of her soft feather touches. Dead stillness falls upon conclusion as her form forever gorgeous basks in sorrowful solemnity.
Her spirit, both tranquil like the waters of a pond in coming spring and infinitely warm like the air of enduring summer, casts a blanket of protection on the weary, a promise of safety to the innocent.
Her heart, pure as it is stubborn, weeps for the forsaken, prays for the forgotten, absolves the repenting. It is a tender and forgiving heart, more forgiving than anyone has any right to.
How is it, he wonders, that she continues to find the strength to forgive those who wrong her despite the pain that they cause her?
How is it, that they don’t realize what an amazing woman this is, how strong and resilient and skilled she has become?
She is more than strength, more than speed, more than instinct, more than talent.
She is discipline and hard work
She is practice and repetition
She is determination and never going back on her word
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
Like it was yesterday he can remember, that time he learned of the lion hiding beneath her eyes
It’s an easy memory to recall, after all, it was the first time his flash step was faster than Shisui’s, his eyes sharper than his brother’s.
It begins with the report of an ambush, with her as the target and him as the backup.
With fear palpable in his tongue and overwhelming in his trembling hands, he runs.
But by the time he arrives she has begun, a force of nature twisting and charging with every one of her practiced steps, the absolute might of the sixty-four palms discharged upon her foes in a crescendo. And her eyes, they are still the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. This goddess given flesh is a sight to behold, and even now he remembers the staccato his heart played at the scene before his eyes.
It ends with her fingers near his throat, her surprised lavender gaze overcoming the sheer look of concentration from before.
He does not allow himself to wallow in the memory too long, for he knows that if he does the delicate scent of hyacinth will reach his nose and the distance that lies between them will be breached by his treacherous heart.
“Don’t sneak up on me like that sa-chan! I could have hurt you really badly. But, thank you…you know, for coming to help me”
“You really are amazing Hina”
He cannot help the strange feeling of pride every time he recalls that memory, she has grown so much, has become so strong.
He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind. Yet, he is so thankful to be able to witness this girl, a little shy and innocent and everything that is right in the world, become such a confident mature woman. It is a privilege he will never take for granted.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
“Tell me dear boy, who is she? Who is this woman that consumes all of your thoughts, the one that has taken ownership of your heart?”
His gaze falls upon his mother, a look of wonder and joy in unhidden display. She’s just as lovely as when she sang her first lullaby, as attentive and caring as when he was but a young boy.
“There is no one like that. I know my place, I know my role” he gifts her a loving smile “you don’t have to worry, mother”
He brings her into his embrace, a warm farewell and a see you soon. He does not see the light of her eyes dim. He does not see the tight grip of her fist close to her heart.
He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
But there is plenty he can do, a lot more left for him to see.
He can marvel in her movements, both the peaceful and the violent.
He can wallow in her laughter, both from memories and in her presence.
He can take care of her sister, to bring both joy in any way.
He can steal just one more glance, lie to himself just one more time.
.
.
.
.
She is a breath of fresh air, quite familiar and comforting.
Her voice is soft and sweet like cotton, her words woven with patience, thoughtfulness and care. Even so, he can’t help but compare it to the allure of a siren’s song. The hypnotizing melody of her chords. So relaxing and consoling it has long become his favorite sound.
And the silence in between, that is its own special gift. The offer of her company, of her presence within reach, of the sounds of her breath and the image of her form. As if the world was in stasis, saying it’s okay, to gaze at her just one more time.
And her authenticity, her concern, her love for her family and her friends is so mesmerizing and so disarming he wants nothing more than to forget her, because he knows that it is possible, downright certain that these feelings in his heart will only grow.
She’s more than innocent, more than friendly, more than loyal, more than extraordinary
She is security and peace
She is the water and the wind
The steady rock in minds of many, the anchor deep within.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
There is one such instance of time, a time his brain cannot ignore, when the mere sight of her left him speechless, because it was a glimpse into the future, another treasure in itself.
And it begins with his arrival, his form weary from a mission. The night is long as stars are bright, yet his feet carry him regardless into her warm welcoming home.
What awaits him is a lady, a few years younger than her sister, yet her beauty is not diminished, only hidden by mischief.
“Sa-san, you’re back! Did you bring it?! Did you?!”
“Hello to you too, firecracker. I said it was a promise didn’t I?”
Her eyes sparkle in the light of her front door, a sweet souvenir within her palms, and he knows he is being ridiculous but the thought comes anyway. She has taken after Hinata.
As he holds the child in his gaze he cannot help but feel content.
But the moment is then stopped, not destroyed, but expanded. She emerges from inside, all porcelain and silk and lavender in her wake. And his heart gallops one more time, long surrendered to her smile.
And that is when it finally happens, the vision in his eyes travels through time.
And there, standing steps ahead is a much more mature woman, with no less beauty, no less grace, no less warmth.
And in her arms is not her sister, not the rebellious adventurer filled with passion and mischief, but a much more inexperienced little thing, wide eyes in wonder and curiosity.
It takes everything he has to dissipate that very scene, for he knows that deep within, he’s not strong enough to face it.
He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time patrolling near the Hyuuga compound. Something you want to say?”
His gaze falls upon his father, the commander of the police force, forever strict and infallible. An old wound threatens to reopen, a hurt of times long past.
“I know my place, I know my role” he salutes in subordination “Sir”
He bows and he departs. He does not see the hesitation, the inklings or regret.
He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
But there is much he can endure, much more left for him to bear.
He can handle frozen nights, her form sound and in blissful rest
He can fight against exhaustion, peace and order his reward.
He can perpetuate his distance, only admire from afar.
He could accept his place as second, a meager warrior and protector.
Whatever price he pays is little, when measured against her smile.
.
.
.
.
She is an inescapable revelation, a bright enchantment of the truth.
Her mind benevolent and understanding, captivating in humility glimpses past layers of deception, offers redemption and mercy.
And her eyes, like stellar windows, like nebulous ice reflections glimmer sharply with intelligence and observe with calm rapport.
Despite her powers of deduction, the blessing of her sight, her only passion is to aid, to sooth the spirit and the mind. And so she sees the hearts of men, so full of sin and of regret.
And yet her hope never falters nor declines, her gaze set in the path towards the sun.
She is more than perception, more than intuition, more than introspection, more than sensation.
She is experience and involvement
She is patience and rumination
The culmination of her years, of her talents and her efforts.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
And he’s not the only one. This ethereal creature of benevolence, of boundless wisdom and stability has already taken stage, has become a steering knight. And she is power and authority and compassion and bravery. There is no soul that does not listen, there is no dimming of her light.
“We will not risk civilian settlements! That, I will not allow! If it’s gold that is the issue, then take it from my vaults. If it’s men you are In need of, I will gladly join the fight. Whatever else may come our way, whatever hardships they may be, I will protect them with my life!”
It is the idealistic way, the laborious road ahead, yet all it brings is inspiration, optimism and unification.
He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
The path she walks he cannot follow, he’ll never join her in the sun. She is destined for so much more, to such great heights, he can only be grateful, from the bottom of his heart, that he was allowed the chance to meet her.
“You should tell her how you feel. If you truly wish to make her happy, then that is the only way”
His gaze falls upon his brother, the man most treasured in his heart. With tired lines along his eyes, his pupils still glimmer with the kindness and the brilliance of his being. And it is him, Hinata’s promised, what she truly deserves. A man of honor, and integrity, and strength, a man whose everything that he could never be. A true pacifist and seer, so altruistic it almost hurts.
He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
“I know my place, I know my role” he smirks at his sitting brother, the white-red hat resting closely by his side “And I know yours. You have worried all your life, made me into who I am, I will always be grateful that I got to be your brother. So now it’s time for you to let me worry, for you to let me protect you.”
His feelings are inconsequential, they would only be a burden. More than anything else, his one single wish has been for them to be happy, for them to smile always, to repay them, to thank them. Because before he was nothing, before he was no-one. Shadow he may be, that is no longer the case. He knew plenty of happiness, reveled in their glow. Now it’s just time to look away, now it’s time to fulfill his role.
“Foolish little brother, your eyes are still closed even now. For all your prowess and your foresight you are still so incredibly blind. By choice no less. There is only one man who is in possession of her heart, only one man who consumes all of her thoughts, only one man who can evoke that precious smile. For all that you see her, that you know her, that you love her it never occurred to you that she felt the same” his smile is easy, teasing yet honest “She has rescinded the contract of marriage this very morning, confronted her father too. What will you do little brother, I wonder”
He is unworthy of her heart, unworthy of her mind.
This he knows all too well, has known it for a long while.
And yet…
She is a most wonderful vision.
An exhilarating performance
A breath of fresh air
An inescapable revelation
He doesn’t have the chance to pursue her, to ask after the cancellation of the contract. She finds him first, refuses his words, grabs onto his body, kisses his lips.
And as her lips meld with his, as his tongue caresses hers, as he drowns in her essence he has to acknowledge that perhaps, just perhaps, he knows nothing after all.
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Liyue Lantern Festival - Childe x OC.
Short Story. I got really inspired after finishing the fanart I made lol.
AGAIN, I AM NOT A WRITER. I MIGHT HAVE SOME GRAMMAR AND SENTENCE MISTAKES SO YEAH. YOU WERE WARNED :p
A cool breeze is always welcomed during this hot summer nights. Liyue has always been a busy city, but today is extra special. All-day long everyone has been preparing for the annual Summer Lantern Festival. Once a year, people around Liyue gather and celebrate this auspicious event with friends and family.
Liyue streets are filled with people; everyone excited and having fun. You can see some people dancing, laughing, singing, shopping and having the time of their lives. Children are running around with their lanterns on hand, screaming excitedly about having their wishes come true.
Jadiz only experienced joining this festival once in her life despite living in Liyue since birth. And it was only inside the Yu Clan Compound grounds as she was not allowed to leave the safety of their Clan's residence.
Jadiz walked towards the nearest stall selling lanterns, she looked around and saw a medium-sized white lantern with the lotus print in front of it. She had to tippy-toe to get it, gently taking it into her hand. She stared at the red lotus flower in front of it.
Lotus Flower, it's her and her late mother's favourite flower.
"Is it true that if I wished on a lantern today, it would come true?!", a younger 6 years old Jadiz asked the beautiful woman in front of her.
"Yes little lotus flower, as long as you believe it, then it will come true", her mother kneeled in front of her brushing away a stray curly hair in front of Jadiz's face.
A huge smile grew on Jadiz's face. "YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!", she screamed, jumping up and down in a place like a bunny. "Can I write my wish on the lantern now? Please, PLEASE!!!!", tugging on her mother's sleeve.
Her mother chuckled at her enthusiastic reactions. She handed over a small white lantern with the Lotus Flower print in front of it to the little Jadiz. "Here you go, my dear."
Jadiz took the small lantern, struggled a bit to balance herself. The small lantern looked bigger than it is on her tiny little arms. She struggled to walk towards the table and took a brush dipped in red ink and started writing on the lantern.
"Be careful with your spelling my love; you don't want the gods to get confused and not grant your wish", her mother jokingly said.
"I will!", little Jadiz replied, not even looking at her mother. She stopped writing to check her work; she rubbed her nose with the hand she used to write, smudging a bit of red paint on her nose. Her calligraphy work is more than impressive for 6 years old. "DONE!", she jumped up and excitedly.
"And what does our Lucky Jade wishing for?", a manly voice asked.
Little Jadiz looked up and saw her father walking towards her and her mother. She placed her lantern down and ran towards her father. Her father opened his arms to hug the Little Jadiz and carried her in his arms.
"Hello my love", her mother gave his father a small peck on the cheeks making her father put an arm around her waist and giving both of them a hug.
Little Jadiz' eyes glowed with joy and happiness. Even at her young age, she always wanted the kind of love her mother and father has for each other.
"So, what did our Lucky Jade asked for?", her father asked once again out of curiosity.
Little Jadiz gave her father a wide and bright smile. "I….."
"Would you like to get that lantern young lady?"
Jadiz came back to her senses and saw the shop keeper smiling at her. The old man was standing behind the stall and holding his hands together in front of him.
"Oh…uhhm", Jadiz started to pat her pockets trying to see if she has mora left. She dug deep and found nothing. She sighed sadly, "I-…"
"Here you go, keep the change", someone said beside her.
She looked up and saw a tall red head man with a mask on the side of his hair. The young man smiling giddily at her, looking smug and proud of himself from buying her the lantern.
She raised an eyebrow at him, not sure what to feel or say. Part of her wants to say thank you and be grateful, but the other part wants to walk away or punch that smug look out of his face.
"Thank you, Childe, you are so generous! You didn't have to!", Childe said sarcastically.
"I-will-punch-you in the face..", Jadiz glared at Childe still holding the lantern. She started to walk away from him. "I swear…One time…I'm gonna freeze his sorry butt in the spot..", she mumbled.
Childe couldn't help but chuckle at Jadiz's reaction. He loves teasing her so much because she might be a cryo user, but her temper is hotter than any pyro user he has ever fought. He started running to catch up with her.
"Jade wait up!", he laughingly said. He caught up with her, now walking side-by-side. "You know, you are so cute when you are mad".
"Well, watch me get freaking adorable", Jadiz glared at Childe walking faster, still holding the lantern.
Childe laughed out loud and matched Jadiz' phase; he didn't have to. She is so short that his regular walking speed is her faster-walking speed. "Come on, don't be too mad now, I might fall for you if you become adorable", he teasingly says.
She stopped all of a sudden that he almost collided with her. She turned around, eyes blazing, cold air starting to form around them.
"Uhhh….now now…", he nervously said. "You know I was just joking", he laughed nervously putting both his hands up in the air as a sign of surrender. Man, she is something else he thought to himself in a good way he silently added, trying to hold back a smile.
Jadiz stared at Childe, intending to freeze his ass after the last statement. 'Fall for her?' He really needs to stop teasing her like this. It's hard enough as it is to resist his charming ways; not to mention, he was just flirting with the female store keep at the fabric and clothing store a few minutes ago whic for some reason annoyed the living wits out of her. "Hmph", she turned around so fast that her hair hit his chest and the lower part of his face.
She heard him chuckle again. ‘I still don't get why he enjoys making me mad so much’, she thought to herself as she walked fast trying to get away from Childe. She stopped suddenly to avoid colliding with the little girl that tripped in front of her.
The little girl laying flat on the ground started to sob. She kneeled, placing her lantern on her side to help the little girl to stand up. "Hey there, you're okay", she gently said, trying to comfort the little girl. She then saw a scape on the little girl's knees. "Does it hurt?", she asked worriedly.
The little girl nodded while sobbing, trying not to burst into tears. Jadiz lifted her right hand, cold air formed around them, a lotus flower made from ice started to form on her hand. She put the ice lotus flower into the child's scraped knee and almost instantly the wound disappeared. "Better?", she smiled sweetly.
The little girl's face lit up and smiled. "Thank you, big sister!", the child said, giving Jade a small hug and then running away to her friends.
Childe was trying to catch up to Jadiz and saw the little girl tripped. He stopped on his tracks and watched Jadiz turn from a mad dragoness to a sweet, endearing lady. He couldn't help but smile, she looks so beautiful when she whether she is angry or not; but even more when she is handling kids. She has a gentle touch to her that kids seem to love (he does too).
He started walking towards her after the little kid run away to her friends. He held his hand trying to offer her some help standing up. He saw her looked up at him with those gorgeous jade coloured eyes. She hesitated for a second but ended up taking his hand. He pulled her up gently, but she lost her balance and had to use his chest to stop herself from falling.
Warm. Sweet. Lavender. He thought to himself as he accidentally had a whiff of her scent. He had to calm himself down as he stopped the urge to pull her closer to him. He didn't want to let her go but she already pulled away turning her back on him.
He cleared his throat and picked up the lantern on the ground.
Jadiz had to look away, she can feel her face getting flustered, it was hard not too... She had a whiff of his scent. He smelled like Morning Dew, Ocean and Rain.
‘Calm down, calm down, calm down’, she thought to herself as she tries her hardest not to blush. She knows if he saw her blushing, she will not hear the end of it.
"I know the perfect spot to light this lantern", she heard Childe say.
She took a deep breath and turned around to face him," Really?"
"Yeah, follow me!", she felt Childe take her hand and started running towards the Harbor. She couldn't help but look at this man who is basically dragging her.
After a few minutes of running, they reached the Harbor. They passed by groups of people trying to send their lanterns out as well. Childe finally stopped in front of a very tall crane.
She looked at the crane, looked at Childe, looked at the top of the crane and back at Childe. "Up…there?...", she asked while pointing weakly at the top of the crane.
"Yep", Childe grinned.
"I…You know I'm scared of climbing heights!"
Childe chuckled, he turned around and crouched, "Hop on", gesturing for Jadiz to hop on his back.
"I…can't we just do it here", she started walking towards Childe really slowly.
"Hurry up, or I'll climb without you."
"F-Fine…", she reluctantly agreed. She placed her arms around his shoulder and clump her legs around his waist. She felt his right hand, making sure she is secured on his back. Handing her the lantern so he can use his other hand to climb the crane
"Alright! Let's go!", he excitedly said starting to climb the tall crane.
Jadiz closed her eyes holding on to Childe tighter.
"Not too tight now, I have to breath", Childe chuckled once again as he started to climb up.
After a few minutes, they reached the top. He crouched again to let her down.
"T-thank you..", she shyly said. She never had any trouble thanking anyone, so it has been a mystery to her why she is having difficulty saying those 2 words to him.
Childe chuckled and sat down. She sat down beside him, she took her pen out from her leather satchel. Jadiz then started writing her wish. She felt Childe leaning over to read what she was writing. She glared at him and turned her back away from him.
"Hey! No fair! I wanna know your wish!", Childe protested still trying to read what she is wishing.
She ignored his protest and continued to hide what she is writing. When she finished, she took a match from her satchel and lit the small candle inside of the lantern. She stood up, closed her eyes, both hands on the lantern, making sure to hide her wish from Childe. She felt Childe stood up beside her as well.
Childe can't help but look at Jadiz. Her face illuminated by the light of the lit lantern. Her black curly hair partly on the way. A part of him wants to brush it away, but he resisted. She is such a mystery to him. One moment she is gentle, the next she is a fighter. She is a huge contradiction, an enigma. Probably why he is so interested in her, he could easily finish this mission, but he is enjoying her company. He wants to unlock all her layers, so far it has been such a challenge. Never before has any woman resisted his charm this long. Never before has any woman captivated his interest this long.
He saw her gently kiss the lantern before letting it fly into the sky. A part of him wondered how her lips would feel on his. Her lips were plumped, it looked so soft. He wanted to taste them, maybe nibble on them until she moans from pleasure. He caught himself imagining that scenario and had to stop himself before he starts getting flustered. He looked back at at Jadiz who kept her eyes on the lantern until it's no longer visible.
He cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure, "So…what did you wished for?"
Without looking, she answered, "Something I used to see every day but have lost..I wish that for myself someday...", her voice trailing to almost a whisper.
Childe can sense the loneliness in her voice even though she tried to hide it. Something inside him grew, it's something that he only felt for his siblings which confused him even more… It was the urge to make her genuinely happy… It seemed so strange. All he wanted to do before was to fight, to kill, to get stronger; then this girl came along and something inside him changed... It also doesn't change the fact that he knows he won't be able to do it…she is…after all…his mission...
#childe#chiled genshin impact#childesimp#childe fan girl#childe fanfic#childe fanart#tartaglia fanfic#tartaglia fanart#tartaglia genshin impact#tartaglia childe#tartaglia#tartaglia genshin#genshin#genshin impact#mihoyo#fatui#fatuiagent#fanart#fanfic#childe x oc#childe x reader#tartaglia x oc#tartaglia x reader#ajax genshin#genshin oc#genshin impact oc
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