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nat-ter · 4 months

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superbat fic idea: alternate first meeting(s). misunderstanding. before batman and superman meet officially, superman has met bruce wayne, batman has met clark kent and bruce wayne and clark kent sorta, kinda meet.

when superman first meets bruce wayne it's not at a gala. nor is it a rescue mission. at least not the heavy duty kind. superman does rescue bruce from a particularly hard wedgie. the thing is, superman finds bruce wayne hanging in mid air, off of a fire escape, where his underwear has wedge itself between a crack in the iron bars; in an unassuming alleyway where superman has flown in to change into his civillian identity. bruce wayne, prince of gotham, the billionaire playboy himself, immediately stops his fumbling to pull himself off and just stares at the superhero who's in the middle of pulling at the sleeve of his uniform to take it off.

"uhh," says superman eloquently who's thoroughly gobsmacked to see bruce wayne hanging off of a fire escape in metropolis. by his underwear nonetheless.

"hi," says bruce wayne, breathless and with a wave of his hand, who then immediately winces in pain when the movement of his hand sway him left and right and subsequently further hikes his underwear right up a place where no boxer briefs should ever go that deep.

"are you okay?" asks superman tentatively.

"you know what? not really." huffs bruce wayne in annoyance, red in the face. "can you help me down?"

when asked, bruce says that he was running from a group of fangirls and climbing up the fire escape to, well, escape them but then he fell off and got caught by his... well. he looks so embarrassed and superman is so uncomfortable that clark kent, investigative journalist, immediately believes it without a doubt.

a few weeks later clark kent meets batman at a gala in gotham which also happens to be the one taken over by a particularly pissed one poison ivy who is apparently set on testing out her new invention on gotham's finest. which just makes people very, very horny (she has only wanted to shame the rich who's been a pain in the ass for her dearest plants for her evening amusement, nothing more). it happens so fast even if superman happened to be there in his civillian identity he wouldn't get the chance to do anything without compromising his identity, never mind that everyone is going at it like crazed rabbits. not that superman is there, of course. so batman stands there, in the middle of the biggest orgy he has ever seen, face to face with a dorky man who wears an equally dorky glasses.

the thing is, the dorky man is previously engaged in an intense tug of war with two highclass women trying to get the bottom half of him naked. he's been pleading with his whole body for the women to stop trying to pull his underwear down which is currently tethering on getting completely ruined to shred and is also the only thing standing between his dignity and the whole world (or room). but when batman comes crashing in the man is so startled to see the dark knight so suddenly and up close he's gone completely lax and the next second the two women managed to pull the offending cloth down his thighs to pool at his ankles along with his slacks, the man himself gaping like a fish. batman doesn't know what wakes him from the trance but maybe it has something to do with the limp dick swaying left and right in front of him. after that everything goes to shit and there isn't really a time to ask questions about why clark kent, according to his press badge he's still wearing around his neck, looks way too lucid for someone who's supposed to be under poison ivy's influence. perhaps unceremoniously seeing a man's dick will do that to you.

the first time bruce wayne and clark kent officially met, the two men still vividly remember what they have seen of the other with their alter ego, they couldn't even look each other in the eye and avoid each other for the entire evening. bruce wayne is by no means a prude and while he has seen his fair share of dicks, he doesn't think it's fair to subject clark kent to stare at the face of a man (bat. wtv) who has rescued him and subsequently seen his dick without the man having no clue. and it's not that clark kent is exactly unfamiliar with uncomfortable situations, after all it comes with the whole hero schtick, but while he maybe be a nigh invincible superhero, he's still human (loosely speaking) and there's only so much he can do before bursting out into a completely inappropriate laughter right in the face of a man who doesn't even know that the fumbling reporter is the one who helped soothe the cloth burn on his ass not long ago.

superman avoids batman because the man has seen his dick for pete's sake even if he doesn't know that clark kent is superman and there's no way clark can look at him in the eye and pretend that that didn't happen. batman avoids superman because you don't just recover from a god seeing you giving yourself a wedgie even if it was completely an accident and it doesn't really matter that said god doesn't know that the man he's seen at one of his lowest (bruce has many) is the batman.

except two is always better than one when it comes to the threat of the world at large and you can bet your pretty ass the interaction is as stilted and awkward as you can imagine.

#bah i just want my boys to suffer an inexplicable embarrassment #bruce can prolly get himself off the wedgie but hey #he's bruce wayne not batman and he can't just swiftly twist and sway and get himself off the fire escape #under the watchful eye of the superman himself #ofc clark isn't a god but they haven't gotten to know each other so bruce doesn't know any better #superbat #superbat fic ideas

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im-a-chunky-potato · 3 months

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Salutations, good to be back on the air!

Yes I know it's been a while since someone with ☆style☆ treated tumblr to a show, mutuals rejoice!

#BAHAHAHA IM SORRY I COULDNT RESIST #SOBS #I actually forgot how fun it was to make edits and watch people suffer under my hand~#/silly #hazbin hotel

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vaguely-concerned · 2 years

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I wish to do some lyctor sexy party demography, for fun and literally no profit, so here we go.

Okay, so when augustine talks about 'the shindigs they used to pull off back in the day, when they dared to congregate' -- also referred to as 'sexy parties' in other places, which I'm taking to be vaguely synonymous with 'orgies' half the time b/c... come on -- most of that seems to be after they became lyctors. this means that at that point all the cavaliers are already dead, and there would be a few more notable absences:

g1deon: legendarily unamorous, canonically will excuse himself from the orgy to go do leg day instead. acespec king, I feel is implied

if I understand the sequence of events right, anastasia was out of the picture before prime sexy party era

Which in turn means that as far as I can figure the core sexy party crew seems to have been down to:

john (though he clearly never participated to the point of *ahem* emission before mercy and augustine broke out their full duplicitous slut game lmao, still leaves lots of room for possibility here between necromancy and human imagination)

cyrus of the many many nudes. he gave those to people for their birthdays whether they had asked for them or no. def sexy party material.

ulysses, who also seems to have been The sexy party instigator; is referred to as 'that madman (affectionate)' several times so he sounds like he was the life and soul of the party, even though I'm still a bit unclear on how he did get a soul back in the first place, or whether it was ever like. his own soul.

augustine 'I never met a problem a threesome won't fix' quinque. naturally.

cassiopeia. finding out it was her wife's soul she ate adds... a lot of stuff to this one, but she was canonically around and a lightweight haha

cytherea -- considering she'd spent most of her life camped out on death's doorstep, might have been her first chance to really get into sexy party stuff. little sister vibes on this girl from how the others talk about her, but that means very little in this psychosexual horror show of a found family across ten thousand years

mercymorn 'I sincerely wish augustine would stop trying to solve every problem with a threesome but *aggrieved sigh* I'm in fuck you I hope you choke on a dick and die >:(' the first. hated the sexy parties, but is still implied to have attended them. one of her immediate reasons for brushing off harrow and ianthe is that they aren't as pretty as anastasia and cyrus respectively, though, so maybe the saint of joy doth protest too much lol

anyway let it not be said I didn't do my part to try to figure out which of the horrible old war criminals were hooking up the most

#OG lyctor crew #the locked tomb #nona the ninth #nona the ninth spoilers #ntn spoilers #nona spoilers #the locked tomb spoilers #mercymorn the first #augustine the first #john gaius #cytherea the first #cassiopeia the first #cyrus the first #ulysses the first #space here under the rest of the tags for my cursed little headcanon that john mostly likes to watch his lyctors... get along lol #if i have to think this you have to be exposed to it too I refuse to suffer alone #he's run out of lyctors to watch so now he's mid life crisis-ing it up with sarpedon & co in even more ethically dubious ways

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ctl-yuejie · 10 months

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you remembered, quite observant ｜hidden agenda ep. 1

#hidden agenda #hidden agenda the series #joong archen #dunk natachai #aka very convoluted flirting strategies #i really like how needlessly chaotic this is already #i'm not even sure i want to get an explanation why joke doesn't directly hit on him before starting this whole thing #but i enjoy how charmed he is but also isn't so unrealistically enfatuated that he'd let bs slide #and i am not certain how airheaded zo is to not catch the i love you in mandarin by joke #love the petulant way he grabs his coffee (also in a way that screams 'I drink take out coffee a lot' - which probably is just dunk)#hmmm #first time i am watching a show with joongdunk and i enjoy them #some of the show feels a bit like it was made 2 years ago but it is pretty solid and i like the silliness of it all #i just hope nita doesn't have to suffer under their combined weirdness - i felt sorry when zo ripped the strap on her bag after not accepti #ng her refusal #but i appreciate that the show knows that he isn #t perfect - he did slap joke after all #also: i changed the font i used which took up 80% of the time working on this aka 25 minutes #still not 100% sure but the text reads crisper than on my older sets

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wearenotjustnumbers2 · 7 months

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Watch the last video/story by motaz azaiza on Instagram, or the last reel on shaunking on Instagram. I can't copy the link bc they're shadowbanned. It's vital. I cannot share the clip but seeing that kid like that made me almost throw up. God I cannot believe it's real but it is. The kid is still alive and fighting, his cries of agony. I know kids in gaza are strong but they are kids. This is very real, we're watching it happen. I wish that was me instead of the child. I am shaking so bad I think I'm having a panic attack and I'm behind the screen. Please let the world know what they're supporting, what they're silent about.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyyjaYHOXck/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

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mo-ok · 2 months

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every time my partner grabs two iceypoles at once this is all i can think about

#kakuranger #file this under #bullshit in my sketchbook that i really like but will never do anything with #ya know. if i'm being honest. i cant remember the last time she only grabbed a single iceypole #every time. EVERY TIME i am forced to sit for five minutes and watch the secondary iceypole sit in its packet. slowly melting away.#why cant you just grab one? grab one finish it get up and grab another?#why do you do this to me babe? do you just love to watch me suffer?#'want some of my iceypole??' no thanks. 'but i have two and they are melting 🥺' BABE. BABE. PUT ONE BACK.#2024 art tag #i guess lmao

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howldean · 3 months

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who let the ipad baby watch supernatural

#it’s me i’m the ipad baby and am having a horrible time and had to explain to my mom that i got triggered without saying the word trigger #and she STILL was like why didn’t you tell me we could’ve left?? i can’t help you if you don’t talk to me!! WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS #TRIGGERING. BELIEVE IT OR NOT. and yes i did suffer in silence a little bit because i thought i was coping a little better than i am and #just. didn’t want to give him that much power over me. but we stay silly #so now the lights are off except for my lamp facing the wall on low i am curled up in bed under blankets trying to find the last episode i #watched in my chronological spn rewatch

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akkivee · 11 months

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she wasn't the best mama

but she was kuukou's

#this is vee speaking #i have like three different routes that i characterise mama kuukou and none of them are very pretty lol #i’m trying to find a decent middle ground between the lightest mama kuukou angst and my heaviest #my lightest is she hated temple life and eventually left shakku and kuukou #the middle ground is that she dearly loved kuukou but child rearing is hard esp as a single mother and eventually got tired of it all #the absolute worst route is she was neglectful and gave kuukou a reason to fear the ocean #and in all routes kuukou is loyal to a fault and begs her not to go #i think kuukou’s mom could be an interesting commentary on single motherhood but if she’s real lol she’d be so late game idk if they could #but i was thinking maybe she’s the reason kuukou wants to reform the world because he hated she suffered under pressures and expectations #and a general lack of support 😕😕😕#kuukou grew up a happy kid based on ‘kuukou’s unexpected efforts’ but i think that started at like 7-8 #and before that was a very rough childhood maybe to parallel ichiro and nemu having life changing events around then #and to parallel jyushi mirroring his favourite idol kuukou’s appearance has been slowly becoming similar to his mother’s #there’s a lot of hcs in this lol like she’s also the reason he doesn’t particularly like the thought of drinking and smoking #because he watched how it changed her (fits in the lightest/middle route) or he just associates it with nothing good (worst)#lol and this piece belongs in the middle route!!#vee is arting

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honorthysalad · 7 months

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can’t believe they didn’t have Yoshiki connect his experience with being possessed to that one guy who broke into the school grounds and killed himself.

#I also doubt he’s going to connect it for the old man he also just watched die #Idk I just feel like we missed a window of opportunity #Because it’d seem insincere for him to only make the connection now right? Like it feels like a lot of time has passed even #if it’s only been 2 days. It’s going to be coming a whole volume later. The audiences sense of time is skewed #And like the diner scene is so tonally jarring? The slapstick faces and casual air to everything #And I guess it’s supposed to be scary but it literally made me laugh so hard seeing the ghost under the table #And the ghost going ‘YOOOOOO’ also sent me #“I won’t treat death lightly anymore”#“Huh? Someone died? When did that happen? Anyway I have to study for my math test”#I’m not saying I want Yoshiki to be crippled emotionally every time something bad happens #But just like acknowledging the tragedy of an innocent person being forced to do something like that and offering empathy?#Because Yoshiki could’ve suffered the exact same fate. He only didn’t because he aligned himself with ‘Hikaru’#the summer hikaru died #hikaru ga shinda natsu #hgsn #hgsn spoilers #idk you’re free to disagree with this. Emotional scenes are just what I like and ‘spooky scary ghosts’ aren’t #So obviously I’d prefer an emotional scene over yet another ghost trying to tickle Yoshiki #My hgsn shit

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jellibelli123 · 3 months

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If we really are his children, why is he letting some grow up to be bullies? Oh is it only his chosen people he protects, where does that leave the rest of humanity? And boy oh boy do I have something to say about his so called chosen people: why are you settling for scrap blessings compared to the bounteous fortunes a God has, I'm pretty sure theres something in your books about how rich mans tithes are pathetic and selfish compared to the widow giving all her earnings: why is it not the same for god?

Not to mention the fact any parenting he teaches us to do is not done by him. Scold your children for going astray if I remember his teachings well..

if you're christian. Can't say much to the details of other religions but I'd bet they have similar rules their own god(s) teach to grow its children/people, while also choosing not to follow its own law.

This was moreso a rant and I will laugh at any would be keyboard missionaries/apologists that try to convert me instead of reading up to this point.

#grew up in a cult and deconstructed #your vain attempts at fallacy aren't going to convince me to neglect basic deductive and critical thinking.#religious trauma #free palestine #becsuse yes I still believe human rights for all #if you thought otherwise remember my anger is towards a lazy god while his people suffer under his watch with the promise justice will come #after the suffering is complete #I'm sure that'll come up

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oh-katsuki · 2 years

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i cannot express how much this bonnie burstow quote fucks me up. i really can’t.

“Often father and daughter look down on mother (woman) together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother's fate.”

#the tragedy of mother and daughter #of woman and family #of passionately fighting to be yourself and in the process condemning the woman who is just like you.. who lives in the same world..#who is a part of the same society under the same shackles #someone you cannot connect with but are one with by way of being born women #subjected to the same terror #and how one day.. should you become a mother like her.. you will suffer the same fate #and watch as YOUR daughter does the same #knowing that until some changes.. there is nothing you can do to save her or yourself #the trauma perpetuated by mother onto daughter #the tragedy of family #my mother was not good to me in childhood.. and i swore up and down i would not become her.. but im realizing as i get older #my mother was not always good to me*#that while i may not be her in that sense.. i was also condemning the woman in her.. a woman who is so like me #which is terrifying.. but also tragic #if i could.. i would go back and save my mother from that fate. i really would.#tw: mommy issues #in the tags #i feel so much guilt just by way of being mother and daughter #because motherhood can be such a shackle #and i-#i love my mom because even though she wasn't great to me about certain things.. she loves me #and i.. just by being her daughter.. have perpetuated so much of what disgusts me about women and society onto her #im devastated

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koschei-the-ginger · 8 months

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Screw it, brief reviews of Jason Bateman's filmography pre-Arrested Development

(there are only 4 pics but the post is long)

1981 Little House on the prairie - He was there for 1 season and already became so popular they made the grand finale all about him being a proof that God exists lol

1983 Just a little more love - can't find this one

1982 Silver spoons - they had to fire him because the second he appeared on screen nobody gave a crap about the other kid, iconic, I've only had Derek Taylor for 21 episodes but if anything happened to him yk yk..

1984 Knight Rider - Derek Taylor steals a car

1985 Robert Kennedy and his Times - I'm sure he's in it somewhere but it's like SIX hours long and incredibly boring

1984 The Fantastic World of DC Cooper - Derek Taylor strikes again

1984 It's your Move - Arrested Development for 6th graders, this show is SO fucking funny the parents insisted on killing it together with his Derek-sona for good.

1985 Right to kill - blink and you'll miss him, this is his sister's movie

1986 Mr Belvedere - MILF CHASER

1986 Can you feel me dancing - a commissioned tv movie to show off Justine Bateman's range

1986 St Elsewhere - see, Dave Hogan can do drama too (no)

1986 Valerie/ The Hogan family - his most famous role pre-AD and I genuinely don't understand why, stale bread even for a family sitcom™. Cancelled for being the only show that was normal about aids thanks to Jason. They also dyed his hair to a different shade of auburn each season for some reason lol

1987 Bates Motel - this was supposed to be a sequel to Psycho 🤨

1987 Teen Wold too - words cannot describe how much I hate this movie and everything about it

1987 Matlock - he's playing "Jason Bateman, the star of Valerie" only 1 year after they fired Valerie from Valerie hmm...

1987 Moving target - this was fine

1988 Our House - if your kids think giving 10k to a teenager will get them a record label at 13 it's on them, he did nothing wrong

1988 Crossing the mob - you can watch this but god at what cost, it's so grainy you can barely see their faces (okay movie tho)

1989 Breaking the rules - commissioned to show that he can do some "serious" acting, a tragic mistake on everyone's part

1991 Necessary roughness - Scott Bakula simps, I understand, no I seriously get it

1992 A Taste for killing - for every good movie (prev) you get 2 bad ones

1994 Confessions: two faces of evil - COPAGANDA

1994 This can't be love - *looks up synonyms for CUTE*

1994 Black sheep - can't find this one either

1995 Hart to Hart - he was so annoying they made him believe he's related to Donald Trump I can't even rgsthsrth

1995 An affectionate look at fatherhood - can't find this one either²

1995 Burke's law - this show is so camp you need to WATCH THE DUEL

1995 Simon - the writing is atrocious, he's trying SO hard to make it work while Harland Williams recites every line as if he had just learnt to read. Tragically, a must watch, I wish it existed in HD

1996 Ned and Stacey - a sitcom star playing a sitcom star in a sitcom making fun of Friends, 10/10

1997 Chicago sons - 3 polish brothers live together, Jared Paladecki isn't in this eventhough there are at least 4 people that look like him

1998 George and Leo - if this came out today AO3 would be full of this elderly gay couple

1999 Love stinks - not mine but yk

2000 Rude awakening - the absence of a laugh track caught me off guard, he's doing his best Bud Bundy impression down to the tragic goatee

2001 Some of my best friends - after this many cancelled sitcoms you stop seeing AD as a show that's simply good but as a miracle

2002 The Jake effect - if Scrubs was about hs teachers

2002 The sweetest thing - nobody cares about the men this is the penis song movie

2002 No way out - this is like Cary Elwes-kind of bad

2003 Sol Goode - blink and you'll miss him (idk what's even happening)

2003 Twillight Zone -someone get him an Emmy for trying to bribe a ghost of a kid he unintentionally murdered

#long post #im not putting this under read more sorry ive suffered to much i need to put it out there #jason bateman #what did yall do in very low points of your lives? i watched the entirety of the hogan family and other 7 cancelled sitcoms🤡#my own

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lilgynt · 6 months

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i get choked up looking at any photo not dated currently from palestine cause like. these kids in a documentary are any of them alive? this man smiling at his baby? this building? or god think about the amount of families entirely wiped out from grandparents to babies last i checked was like. 881 and that was a while ago. let alone the actual footage of gaza rn

#personal #daily routine: watch videos from gaza sob for a while save bc i mean to put them on a flash drive #then i scroll and get like a thirst edit it’s a lot #and then anytime i see numbers i try to imagine talking with one person per minute and god. 10 #10000 minutes each just for one person and like #isn’t even close to current numbers plus the people who will die under rumble or after being freeed bc their injuries are too great #and the doctors are doing surgery on the street with no painkillers no medication no sterilization nothing #my mom and grandpa worked with doctors without borders and god.#but god that’s so many minutes. and that’s just a minute #those are whole lives #just a minute with 10000 people would be like. 166 hours. for one minute per person #imagine an hour imagine a life time knowing them. just gone instantaneously #and this was on going before oct 7th this is nothing new and god #bottom of my heart i wish this is the worst humanitarian crisis any of us ever see. it’s almost inconceivable the amount of suffering #god not mentioning no food no water and winter is coming #how many people are just gonna freeze to death?

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smittenskitten · 2 years

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awww theses ducklings

#under the queen's umbrella #they were like me me me!#kim hye soo #is like awww babies you guys suffered ador ador #englishing is hard sometimes i look into the void trying to think up the word that expresses my emotion properly #and it doesn't #queen's umbrella text #i am watching too much of their bts interaction

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davy-zeppeli · 1 year

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tmi but I'm living with the embarrassment of watching the monkees biopic and then my boyfriend deciding he wants to intimate. did the monkees biopic do that to you sir. this is horrifying.

#tmi but it is so fucking funny #oh you just suffered through daydream believers together? what if we kissed 👉👈#it does NOT help we were under my new monkees poster the whole time. i feel like I'm in a goddamn fever dream #me #ramblings #what if we got intimate after watching Daydream Believers (2000) 😳 👉👈

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pepprs · 1 year

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im so fucking overstimulated lmfoaoooooo

#i need to move out. i fucking hate it here so much. why do you need to watch tv IN THE NEW KITCHEN which is like wide open to the rest of th #the house.. and sit in front of the laptop like 3 inches away but blast the volume using a speaker if ur 3 fucking inches away. meanwhile #all the ovens are beeping and pinging and everyone’s stressed and irritated about making food and ppl are shouting thru the house to be #heard and im blasting music in my headphones on high volume to drown out noise i don’t want to hear when really i don’t want to hear noise #at all. i never want to hear noise. i just want everything to be quiet and i want alone time and space in the house. why is that so evil.#purrs #ive been miserable here for years. but i just can’t get myself to act on the misery. i have no reason to keep myself trapped under the ice o #of my own life but i can’t get myself to leave. and i want to live by myself i think even if i get terribly lonely or put myself in danger f #for being 5 feet tall. i just can’t take it anymore. i want to choose. i want to choose. i want to CHOOSE!!!!!#delete later #and im not allowed to eat in my room so i have to eat in the kitchen so i literaly will go hungry on days when im home bc i don’t want to be #around the noise. like omg. misery and suffering #food

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