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secret-smut-sideblog · 2 months

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All I Wanted

Ascended Astarion x F! Tav

(AA break up series, part 8, can be read alone)

18+ dubcon, fingering (f!), restraint, p-in-v, roughness, blood drinking, violence (physical/verbal), abuse, hurt/comfort, fear, tenderness, longing, just real sad hours

Tav's head swimming with memories, she has a moment of weakness. Returning to the Crimson Castle under the cover of night to find something that belongs to her. But finds more than she anticipated...

Masterlist, Prev Chapter

She was trying to settle into her new life with him, but things felt... different. Off.

Obviously she wasn't naive enough to think things would remain the same after the Ascension. Afterall he was, how did he put it? More devine.

The elation at his realized dream didn't fully settle the doubt in her stomach. She was deeply happy for him, just the joy of seeing his reflection again was enough to send her heart spinning.

But he was treating her differently. Calling her things like pet, treasure. Had even had tried to convince her to be his spawn. Saying he'd turn her fully someday with a vague wave of his hand.

For the first time since he had admitted his feelings to her, she didn't believe him.

He was lying to her again.

Deep in thought, she took down her hair at their vanity, looking at herself tiredly.

There were hollows under her eyes. She hadn't been eating as well as she should've. Starting to look a little thin. But he didn't seem to notice. Or care.

"You should grow your hair out." He had come up behind her, leaning down to kiss at her neck. Twisting her hair in his fingers. "It would look so lovely cascading down your back."

She sighed, leaning into him.

"Well, hello My Lord." She teased.

He nipped at her neck in response. A growl in the back of his throat.

He lifted her by the hips and shoved her over the vanity, pulling her dress up over her ass.

Another thing that had changed; his sex drive was insatiable. Taking her in every room of the castle. Coming on suddenly and ferociously.

She wasn't complaining, but the stark turnaround in his behavior around intimacy was something akin to concerning.

He pushed his knees between her thighs, opening them. Fingers pushing inside her.

She moaned, gripping down on the wood.

He still felt good. Really good. But he had stopped asking. What she wanted, what she felt. When it was too much. When to stop.

"That's a good girl. Giving in to me." He purred, pumping his fingers.

Something snapped inside her. A band of frustration she hadn't even realized had been pulled so taut.

She twisted underneath him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Staring up at him with eyes flared.

Saw his eyes go wide as she gripped his wrist, the fingers pulsing inside her now being somewhat puppeteered by her hand.

Something close to anger crossed his face, but more than that, lust.

He leaned forward, gripping the lip of the vanity above her. Their faces parallel and inches apart.

Both breathing heavy, staring hard into each other.

This was a power play, she realized.

Well, she wouldn't give up without a fight.

She jutted her chin up at him in defiance, pulling his hand into her harder.

His eyes flashed, grabbing the front of her dress pulling it down in harsh yanks. Her breasts springing free.

She smirked at his eyes hovered over her bouncing breasts. Losing the push of his hand for a moment, her hand completely controlling his.

He caught on as she moaned, eyes snapping back up.

He leaned down and licked slurping circles into her peaks.

With a gasp her hand released, arching up her chest. Moaning in frustration.

He laughed against her breast, licking harder and nibbling down. Her legs opening again.

Her hand reached out to brace her, knocking the contents of the vanity off with a crash. Twisting under him, her body trying to get away.

He growled, rocking his fingers hard into her. Pulling his trousers open with one snap of his hand.

Before she could react he had slammed inside her, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.

His hand came down over her throat, holding her in place roughly as he fucked into her. Both of them rocking back and forth with the force of his hips.

She felt dirty and hated that she liked it, that her body wanted more.

"What a good little whore you are." He hissed, smiling down at her. Malice flashing across his eyes.

Hers snapped up to his. That was too far.

Her Astarion would never.

Gripping her hips, he tried to turn her onto her stomach again, but she pythoned around him. Locking her legs and rising up. Face to face, hers red with exertion and heat.

"Venomous tonight, are we?" He chided. His pupils betraying him, blown wide with lust.

"Can't take a little bite?" She hissed.

He pulled her hair, her neck arching open to him.

"Can you?" He sneered, baring his fangs.

Her heart hammered at that. He had still been feeding on her, though it was more for pleasure at this point. But he kept pushing to turn her. Taking a little more every time he fed.

But she wasn't backing down, not now.

"Do your worst." She hissed.

He growled and bit down viciously. Still rocking into her, his cock twitching inside her.

It hurt. Really hurt. Both his upper and lower teeth sinking in. Feeling like a chunk of her flesh was going to be pulled away with him.

The gentle euphoria never came, and she realized that he wasn't even drinking. Just ripping into her neck.

She grabbed at his head. Trying to get him to release. Breathing through her nose to keep from screaming.

"Stop."

"Astarion, stop!"

He wrenched his head from side to side. The pain blinding her. Blood pouring in a curtain down her back.

"STOP!"

She mustered the last of her strength and pinched her fingers hard into his ear.

He pulled off with a pained gasp, arms releasing her. Pulling away.

She fell to the floor in a heap, hand trying to stem the flow of her wound. Eyes straining to stay focused, lightheaded.

He stood over her, blinking. Her blood poured all down his front.

"Darling, I'm so sorry-" He kneeled down to her.

She backed up against the vanity. Eyes wide.

"Don't touch me." She whispered, pushing down hard on the pulse of blood coming from her neck.

"I need to close that." He said softly.

He slid forward.

She pushed back hard against the vanity, back ramrod straight.

His eyes searched hers, a strike of pain in his face as he saw her fear.

"Please, Tav. I can help." His hands held out. "Please let me help."

She was breathing fast, her chest rabbiting. But wasn't pulling away further.

Though she wanted to scream at him to get away from her, she knew he was right. Blood pouring between her fingers.

He leaned in and licked gently at her throat. His tongue lovingly tracing the violence he had left. The gouges closing. Only weeping a few drops down her collarbone.

The gentle wave came then, too little, too late. A meager balm to her panicked heart.

He pulled back and left a soft kiss on her lips. The first in a month.

"I'll sleep in my office, okay?" He murmured, rising to his feet.

Retreating out of their chambers, leaving her to his mess.

Tav's eyes opened, exhausted.

That was the first night she had been afraid of him.

Shadowheart slept soundly on her chest, her soft breathing a sweet tide.

Tav brushed her hair gently from her face.

Closed her eyes, sighing.

Slipping gently out from under her.

Her forearm braced as she lifted the last of the way up, knee coming up on the sill.

Their chambers shadowed inside the glass.

She pushed the window open, slipping down inside.

Most of the room was draped in white sheets. A watchful guard of ghosts.

She lifted the sheet from the corner of the vanity, pulling open the small drawer.

Yes, it was still here.

She lifted the bracelet to the light. Gold leaves that twisted around, three red rubies that sat in rose shaped inlets.

She smiled to herself, remembering how embarrassed he was giving it to her. Practically shoving it in her hands.

"Oh, did you steal this? Very pretty!" She chirped, holding it up to admire.

Seeing the blush burning his ears, gasped playfully.

"You bought something? And for me? I never thought I'd see the day!"

"Would you just put it on, you tease?"

She remembered how she had worn it around her ankle, as to not embarrass him too much.

How, when they laid together, his fingers would trace along it absent-mindedly as he read.

The night he had tore into her neck, she put it here and never to put it back on.

She let it sit flat in her palm, staring down sadly.

Aware of movement in the room, she startled. Eyes darting.

There was someone in the bed.

Stepping quietly she came to the bedside, staring down.

His back was to her, curled on his side over the blankets. The white cover sheet laying in a heap on the floor.

She stared down in shock.

His arms were wrapped around his back, legs pulled up. Breathing slowly.

She reached out and touched his shoulder lightly.

He murmured something in his sleep and pulled tighter into himself.

"No," He moaned fearfully.

She slid carefully into the bed, wrapping around his back.

"No, no, please," He whimpered, shielding from something in front of him.

"Shhh, shhh," She hushed, scratching gently along his scalp.

He breathed out shakily, relaxing into her. Mumbling something anxiously.

"I know, I know," She whispered. Curling her legs up to cradle under his. "You're safe, I promise."

Tears began to leak silent out of her eyes, nuzzling down into the curl of his hair.

"You were by my side through all of this. Through bloodlust and pain and misery. You were patient. You cared. You trusted me, when that was an objectively stupid thing to do."

Her eyes closed, holding back a sob.

"I feel... safe with you. Seen."

"I miss you." She whispered. "So much." Holding her hand to his chest. The steady beat of his heart still so foreign.

"Tav," He sighed.

"I have so much I want to tell you. I have a way to help you. I'm-"

I might be carrying your child.

She shuddered, she couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. To make it real.

"I'm so scared, Starlight. There's so much I need to do. So much at stake."

His hand came to rest over hers, turning towards her.

Eyes open and staring into hers in what looked like adoration.

She went still for a moment, mind running frantic.

He pushed her hair behind her ear, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead into hers.

"Please stay," He hushed.

Fresh tears sliding down her face. "You know I can't. You wont stay like this."

"Then just for a moment. Please." He breathed, turning his face more up into hers. A breath passed between the two of them.

She breathed him in, eyes closing.

His hand held hers to his chest. Breathing slowly. Staring deeply at her.

They didn't speak for a long time, mirrored and slow in each other.

"How can you help me?" He finally whispered.

Her eyes opened, suddenly panicked again. What should she even say?

He was still staring into her, eyes flowing with tenderness.

"Do you want to be free of the vampirism?"

His eyes widened in what looked like hope for a split second, then settled into a scowl.

He sat up, bristling.

Oh Gods. She immediately rose from the bed, walking backwards towards the window.

"Now, why would I want that?" Rising to his feet, glowering at her.

"I'm the most powerful vampire in Faerun. Beyond Faerun!"

She backed into the windowsill. Though she knew he couldn't hurt her, Gale's magic still strong in her body, the old fear had taken over. Her body on autopilot. Get as far and fast away as you can.

"You would even suggest removing this power from me?! This gift?!"

His hand attempted to come down on her throat but an angry arc of magic shocked through his arm.

"Agh!" He groaned, doubled over, holding his scorched forearm. Looking up at her with endless venom in his eyes.

"Get out, you ingrate!" He bellowed and she needed no further prompting, sprinting out of the open window.

She edged around the lip of the castle wall, back pressed hard against the stone. Trying to quiet her hammering heart.

She heard a crash from the window, his scream of fury. A bottle crashed against the wall.

His scream slowed into a sob. Hitching in his throat, he wailed.

She pressed her hand hard to her heart, tears flowing quietly down her face. Chest aching for him.

"Please don't go!" He cried, another bottle smashing. "Please don't leave me!"

She closed her eyes, heart ripping in two.

She would help him. She had no choice. She must.

Felt the bracelet in her pocket, rubbing it like a touchstone.

No matter the cost.

Part 9

#SAD HOURS begin NOW #lets fucking gooooo #astarion smut #astarion x tav #ascended astarion #beautiful screenshot by @astarionposting #lyrics from: strange - celeste

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