#stop looking for them on netflix and amazon prime maybe
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Once I head someone say Sarah is the only really necessary or meaningful female character, and that Nazz and the Kankers are pretty much disposable; ''Nazz has no personality, and the Kankers are absent from 50% of episodes and are just a Diabolous ex-machina ending when they appear. The could work very well without any of them.''
What do you think of this?
are they implying that she's only "meaningful" because she's related to ed? because...yikes dog. sarah serves a pretty similar role to the kankers in that she foils the scams and pranks and acts as an obstacle and/or deterrent. an antagonist. but the way they fulfill the role and the reaction they get from the eds are different in ways that i'm too lazy to get into at the moment.
now i could genuinely be missing something because i've never taken a class on media analysis or whatever the fuck, but i truly don't get what people mean when they say nazz is uniquely lacking in personality. i'm not saying eene has excellent, fleshed out female characters, but some people act as if 1) any of the non-eds have highly complex personalities that are explored canonically 2) being kind, outgoing, flirtatious, sporty, etc. aren't personality traits. just because someone doesn't like her personality doesn't mean it doesn't exist. and we know just as much, if not more about nazz's interests than we do the kankers. or jonny: he likes wood, is laid back and seems to enjoy superheroes. or kevin: he likes bmx. he's a bully. he has a crush on nazz. he's buds with rolf, whose backstory we probably know the most about after the eds (maybe even more?). then there's jimmy who lowkey has a great, complex personality.
seems like since nazz is pretty, is into stereotypically "girly" things and is nice, people consider her a "bad" (female) character. which to me is hilarious and ironic. these are the same people who call the kankers "evil". like okay... 😂
this idea that all female characters are supposed to be virtuous geniuses... it's a show about 3 dumbass preteen boys. there are tons of female-led shows available out there, and female main characters galore. these people should go watch em. seriously. im tired of hearing about it frankly.
oh and if edd was canonically a girl, people would hate her and call her a mary sue 👍
#idk i might delete this later bc i'm in a piss poor mood atm and i don't mean to sound harsh#as usual not ranting at you anon#but people can make up tomes of fanon lore for these male cartoon characters#but suddenly the hc well runneth dry when it's time to get creative with a female character whose backstory isn't spelled out for them#i'm not saying you have to divide your attention equally between male and female characters because i don't#but i also don't need my cartoons to be feminist manifestos lmfao#i have to live as an afab every day i have my own thanks#just saying if someone wants female stories with great female characters they're out there#stop looking for them on netflix and amazon prime maybe#okay let me stop because i'm getting riled up and going off the deep end#i don't even care like THAT but once i get going i can't stop#can you tell i've had a terrible week#oh and to the anon who sent the ask about a certain ship#sorry mate i'm not posting that one#text
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People need to stop blaming the fact that One Piece isn't nearly as popular in the US as other long running shows like Dragon Ball Z and Naruto on the 4KidsTV dub. Yes the 4KidsTV dub was bad, yes it made it look like a show for little kids. But it aired for just 3 years, and wasn't even viewed by that many people. After all, it wasn't popular. It'd be a setback for sure, but over 16 years later, there's no way this is still the root cause, when shows like My Hero Academia can skyrocket in popularity in a fraction of the time. The newer quality dub is the only dub that's been marketed for a decade and a half, with episodes in sub on Crunchyroll on the day of airing.
The fault isn't the show being too long or the animation or the pacing or any of that. These are problems that every other country has to overcome in selling One Piece. The fault is in Crunchyroll's marketing. While some people point out that "Film Red ads were at Times Square" or "They're showing Episode 1000 at the expo!" there's not much Crunchyroll actually does to encourage new audience members. Yes, the dub is caught up more or less, adapting the most current arc. But that's only if you're buying them on Microsoft Store for $30 for 12 episodes. If that sounds like a scam to you, you have to wait a couple of weeks for it to show up on FUNimation or Crunchyroll, the niche streaming services for dedicated anime fans. If you don't want to subscribe to tons of streaming services and just want to use the most popular ones, it's on Netflix too, but only up to Enies Lobby, it doesn't even cover the first 500 episodes of a 1000+ episode show. A bit odd for a platform that is trying to hype up their live action adaptation of the series, but streaming licenses can be tricky and expensive, at least they have the show at all, as it wasn't even on Netflix in the US for a long time. Hulu fairs a bit better with 457 episodes, though dub is the only option (this was NOT how hulu was with One Piece just 6 years ago, btw. It changes all the time how much sub or dub they have). Don't even get me started on Amazon Prime. It's not even about the $2 per episode, the navigation is horrific. I couldn't even tell you what episodes they have. There's like 3 Season 10s and a Season 11, and all of them have the most random ass selection of episodes. Like straight up, it needs fixed cause idk what the hell's going on. Even if $2/episode was a reasonable price, I'm too scared to buy it. I'm afraid it's not gonna even be the episodes I ordered. If you'd rather just catch the latest episodes on TV, they're on Toonami, the channel that only airs from midnight to 3am. A pretty late schedule for normal people, and even if you can catch them, they're nearly 350 episodes behind there. It actually would have been even more behind, as it was cancelled for quite awhile. But to make up for lost time, they skipped 134 episodes. Those unaired episodes are some of the most iconic, high-rated, and important story arcs of the entire series. And don't expect to catch re-airings, this ain't DBZ Kai on NickToons. You can also collect the series on DVD/BD. But that's gonna cost you $44 for 12 episodes. And don't expect to pick it up at a Wal-Mart or Target. Maybe a Best Buy if you live somewhere busy, but even that's not guaranteed. 9 times out of 10 you gotta deliberately buy that online. Might as well buy two shelves from amazon while you're at it because that my friend is 64 DVD sized boxes you're going to be purchasing, assuming you're buying the Voyage sets. With the Collection sets you can collect the series in just 32 DVD sized boxes, because the Collection sets are literally two Voyage sets for the price of one.
Compare this to Dragon Ball Z. People my age grew up catching episodes frequently on NickToons or Toonami. Many I know started in their teens watching Dragon Ball Super on Hulu. You can catch the whole series dubbed and subbed on Crunchyroll. If you wanted to own Dragon Ball Z, you can get the Orange Brick DVDs, the Dragon Box DVDs, the DBZ Kai DVDs, the Blu-Rays, the Level Sets (jk they discontinued), the DBZ Kai Blu-Rays, the 30th Anniversary Blu-Rays, the steelbook Blu-Rays. Wal-Mart has Blu-Ray Orange Brick sets where you can buy 3 seasons for $30 dollars, that's 1/3rd of the show for the price of 12 niche anime episodes. You can also buy the manga by the volume, by the box set, in a big-print omnibus set, (partially) in a full color set, or online. And while games like Dragon Ball Z Kakarot are still getting fresh dubs, high-budget One Piece games like One Piece Odyssey or One Piece World Seeker are Japanese subbed only, with not so much as an English dub update in sight. Most Dragon Ball movies are available in dub, and even come in 2 or 4-movie Blu-Ray bundles. One Piece only has 6 of their 14 movies dubbed, with only 6 TV Specials dubbed as well.
My point is that the most approachable way to get into One Piece is the same way it was 16 years ago; piracy. It's not kaizoku-fansubs or kissmanga like it was back in the day, but things haven't changed much. Most fans ik don't catch the latest 12 dubbed episodes on FUNimation, they watch them on 9anime. They don't purchase 4 box sets of manga that are all nearly worth $200, they see fanscans of the colored manga on mangasee. With this kind of fanbase, One Piece is always going to stay within the "Film Red grosses $12M at US box office" range of popularity. To get to the "Dragon Ball Super: Heroes grosses $38M at box office" ball-park, you gotta reach out to the audiences who just want to watch some TV and don't want to have to do some digging. Even the 4KidsTV dub knew this. It wasn't very popular, but by airing at day time and having plenty of commercials, and just being on a channel kids tune into, it would at least catch the accidental attention of people every now and then. Sometimes I have to wonder if Crunchyroll even wants to push One Piece as a flagship series, or if it'd rather just be known for more trending anime like Chainsaw Man and Demon Slayer.
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I'm not in the Good Omens fandom, so maybe I've got this wrong, but I suspect why everyone on my dash seems to be clamoring for an immediate fix-it besides obvious fandom impatience. I think a lot of people are convinced that basically nothing is coming back from the strikes. Tbh I kind of am myself. I've just accepted that we're never going to see Sandman s2 or GO s3 because Amazon and Netflix are shit. At least with Sandman we have the books?
I admit its a tough situation to be in. I guess for me, I am trying to have hope that the streamers will eventually see sense, because otherwise their business models are gonna fail and they are going to lose revenue anyway. Eventually some sort of deal will be made and the work will start again, I just hope beyond hope that the deal is everything the WGA and SAGAFTRA want.
I have more hope for a GOS3 than I do for a Sandman tbh. Simply because making films and TV isn't Amazon's main source of income so they can be a bit more flexible with their choices. They have renewed far less popular shows for far longer. It seems almost like the entertainment division is more a hobby or pet project for Amazon than its main focal point so IDK, I'm just not all that worried about Amazon Prime. I genuinely think Amazon is very proud of GO and they won't let go of it anytime soon. It's also one of their most popular shows so I'd be really surprised if they cancel it (though, then again, with the strikes anything can happen). We also still have the BBC backing it up I believe? Though I doubt they'd ever have the budget to take over fully if Amazon decided not to continue with it, but perhaps its possible the BBC could look for a new partner in that unlikely scenario? I dunno I'm not a media expert here by any means.
Sandman though is a different story. Extremely expensive, and on a streaming service notorious for cancelling shows mid season. With the strikes, I can see them changing their minds and cancelling Season 2 even though it started filming in some bitter attempt to get back at strikers and claim tax breaks where they can. I don't trust them at all. I loathe the Netflix execs because they have been cancelling, making excuses, and screwing over creatives for years now. They are the ones that started it all, and the other streamers simply took their ideas and ran with them. I wish Sandman had been on a different streamer. I feel like it would have been safer on Amazon Prime. Even if we do manage to get through to season 2 of Sandman, I have absolutely zero faith that we'll make it through to the end of the story on Netflix.
Though at least with Sandman, I believe (though correct me if I'm wrong) that Neil still holds all the rights, and if Netflix cancels it, he can put the option out to other networks/streamers to pick it up again? So even if Netflix does what Netflix always does, there is every possibility that it'll just jump to a different network to finish the story.
I hope that is the case, because in all honesty if I had to put money down on a bet on whether or not Netflix will follow through with Sandman right through to the Wake, I'll be betting against them. I just don't see it happening. Netflix are too flakey and well, evil, to care about stories to do it justice.
To your first point, I can understand the fear and do sympathise with fans being hurt and upset that GOS2 ended on such a grim cliffhanger, I just don't think the hate and denial and screams of "out of character!" are the way to handle that fear. But diving straight into fanfiction is a totally acceptable and encouraged way to manage the feelings anyone may have over the ending! That's totally fine! Keep the fix-its to fanfiction, but please stop clamouring for reasons why the ending was wrong and bad and stupid and worth sending Neil Gaiman inbox hate over. You're all better than that.
#Good Omens#Good Omens Season 2#good omens season 2 spoilers#the sandman#fuck the streamers#neil gaiman#anti netflix#less anti amazon prime but they are still awful#fandom discourse#asks
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Paramount: 60M subs
Max: 123 M
Disney: 157.8M, declined rom 164.2M.
Hulu, Disney owned: 43.8M
Netflix: 238.4, with password shakedown. Has been relatively stagnant compared to competitors though, 221.84 even Q4 2021.
Amazon: it's amazon.
Peacock: 22M
What I see here: Netflix is hitting just about its peak of growth in market. It had been losing, then password shaked down, and will be rattled by its empty pipeline but will have cash to mostly recover.
Paramount+ and Peacock/Universal need to give it up. Stop trying to make them happen. They're not gonna happen. Their best luck would be CBS and NBC cooperating, while Paramount sells off a chunk of its wares to Tyler Perry, and go in on something together, and if they retained, they'd still be under most of their competition.
Hulu being Disney owned and Disney+ both being there seems like an inevitable merging of their features ala Max/Discovery merger. They could actually break 200M subscribers and be on foot with Netflix while it equalizes.
Amazon is Amazon. It's here to stay.
WBD is in financial crisis despite its looks or how it spins data, but has a successful library and successful individual membership.
Likely future array:
#1/2 Amazon, Netflix
Amazon has 101M Video subscribers notwithstanding prime; including prime, it's about 175M with monthly individual users but can tap into wider Prime bases~; Netflix has 238M+)
#3 Disney-Hulu
#4 Max, if it doesn't implode from the strike aftermath.
If Peacock/Paramount's remaining vestiges band together, and maybe onboard deals like Fox Sports, it may be able to pull in to join 1-5 as a #5, but just as likely is Tyler Perry's black entertainment plans to fill a similar role. On the other hand, Paramount has been working very very heavily with WB since before WBD and continuing since, so there's a potential it ends up more like:
#1/2 Amazon, Netflix
#3 Disney-Hulu (200M current collective, if done right)
(The above 3 streamers as-such would make the above-200M club respectively)
#4 Max-paramount (180M current collective)
Disney could choose to import from Fox Sports since it already had relations with Fox with the 21st buyout, to try to get an edge on sports lives.
Think linear TV "Big 4 + smaller option like CW", but in streamer mode. That's what's really being fought for here. And then the weird independent streamers and breakoffs will be the equivalent of tiny cable channels mostly airing reruns and weird stuff.
From there, like for example whatever Tyler is planning, he could bring in his--cough, I mean Atlanta--cough--I mean Gray's pipeline deal with NBC Universal and snap up Peacock, then bring in what he bought off of Paramount with BET/VH1/et al once that finalizes. And it eventually will. And there's your #5 with a heavy favor on black entertainment like original TBS before Time Warner picked it for parts.
There. There's my "what this shit is gonna look like by 2025-2026" projection. Obviously scale up membership gains accordingly, I'm using their current bases plugged together, everything might gain something like 33-50% over 2~ years, so 300M club, and so on.
Expect average streamer price to end up around 10/mo for ad based and 20/mo for high end ad free with extra baubles. And then to get the big 4 it's 40/mo with ads or 80/mo with no ads, and 60 for in between depending on how you use which, and pans about to old cable costs. That's about how this is gonna have to work out.
Some streamers may also consider tiers, such as; if Hulu is eaten by Disney main, there may be a Basic Subscription With Ads for just Hulu content, but save Exclusives for Plus, for example--your rerun library, if you will. And whatever other streamers for similar things that get partnered in, like wherever Fox shoves Tubi's ass. These will become the equivalent of channels. So in theory people could bring down their bill by getting a few basic level streamers to watch their fave reruns on but send exclusives up to the parent streamer.
So for example, let's say Disney will break into the Hulu package, the Plus package, and under Plus have the 21st Fox shows, and maybe Fox Sports stuff as "channels" or channel replacements you can file through. Max could have its CW equivalent, and its DC section, and put CNN here instead of on CNN+ that closed, and so on with higher packages
If handled like this, a big 4/5 could maintain competition while making streaming sustainable but offering wide varieties internally that are like mini-cable packages yourself. And then you can ask, do I really watch X provider shows, and if you are a Poor, then you can still optimize like--well I want the basic Disney package for all the marvel stuff, no ads tho... so I'll go premium. Am I really watching Netflix exclusives anymore? Nah. I don't need that dusty library. Amazon I use prime anyway so I'm good there- is black entertainment important to me? Yeah but I don't mind ads with my sitcoms, so a true basic ad package is fine. And then you're really only paying like 25 a month for a fairly broad "digital cable" package.
And by 2026 or so Big 4 should at least be approaching the 300M club, and we talked in another post the 15mo/avg/median, and be talking 4.5Billion per streamer, and then you break out my earlier math on shows, and costs, and 10/10/10 schema, and even 2 billion spent on shows per streamer + residuals paid to everyone that earns it makes it a sustainable profit while broadcast shuts down, and so on. [jazz hands] it truly isn't rocket science but like, paramount+ and peacock for example need to learn when to throw in the towel. It too late, pals.
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I just got an ad on my email saying how I can now “own season 1 of The Last of Us” and view it across all my devices by subscribing to an online service.
It’s legit (I’m not naming the company, but it’s not a scam email), but I object to them saying “Own The Last of Us”. What they offer is NOT ownership. Ownership is the Blu-ray or DVD, items that can be played years from now, not digital files you can only access at the whim of the service or as long as you continue to tithe the toll. Fortunately Last of Us is an HBO series, and they still see the value in permanent physical media (hence the fact you can buy House of the Dragon S1 on Blu-ray, for example). So there will be a proper release in due course (I’m looking forward to seeing it). But I wish people would stop blowing smoke up our butts about ownership. Paying for access to streaming or downloads is not ownership; it’s rental, no different than the days when you’d rent a tape at Blockbuster and have to return it after a few days unless you pay extra.
I’m still frosty over the fact Jenna Coleman’s most recent TV series, The Serpent and The Sandman, likely won’t get a permanent release in North America (Serpent is on DVD in the UK, but we have the fact it aired on the BBC to thank for that). And I don’t expect to ever see such a release of Doctor Who ever again here either (the UK will still get DVDs and Blu-rays thanks to it still being on the BBC over there, but once Disney+ starts running it, I don’t expect to see the 60th or Gatwa’s first season available anywhere but streaming). Wilderness, Jenna’s next series, is also unlikely to get a permanent release either as I believe Amazon Prime doesn’t do that sort of thing - I hope I’m wrong. And maybe some company like Arrow might get the rights to release Klokkenluider and Jackdaw (unless Netflix snaps them up). Otherwise as it stands the last North American DVD or Blu-ray release of anything involving Jenna could likely end up being The Cry and Victoria Series 3.
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Watch The Next Avengers’ Action On Netflix Streaming Today
The Next Avengers is an action movie available on Netflix Streaming today! Find out why it's worth the watch and which other movies are on streaming right now.
The Next Avengers
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If you're looking for a great way to spend your Saturday morning, Netflix has got you covered. Whether you're a Marvel fan or not, there's a movie waiting for you on the streaming service. And today is especially good because we can watch The Next Avengers, which is one of the most anticipated movies of the year. There are many reasons to watch movies online. Maybe you don't have the time or space to go to the movies. Maybe you don't want to deal with traffic. Maybe you just don't like going to the theaters. Whatever your reason, there's a movie waiting for you on Netflix. Netflix is constantly adding new movies, so it's always changing. You never know what you're going to get. Some of the recent releases include Death Note, Get Out, and Split. They all have their own unique storylines and stars that make them worth watching. Netflix also has exclusive releases that aren't available anywhere else. For example, The Crown has only been available on Netflix since November 2016. You can't even find it on Amazon Prime or Hulu anymore. So if you're a fan of royal dramas, be sure to check out The Crown on Netflix!
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title : stray kids when their actor!partner has a kissing scene
note :
song : universe , exo
chan would be so excited for you when you both found out about you getting a role in a new up-coming movie. the script would come in through the post so you could read through it and get an idea of how to portray your character. when you get to the scene where your character must kiss your leading co-star, your eyes would go wide. chan would notice and come up to you to read the paper from over your shoulder. his eyes would widen too. oh would he be jealous ,, he wouldn't show it and would even deny it if you accused him, but he was so green
you'd asked your director if minho could visit set one day, and they said he could,, so , naturally , you brought him along. he'd be watching from the sidelines as you perform your lines in front of the camera ,,, a proud smile you be on his lips, but not for long. everyone went quiet. you and your co-star stood opposite each other, gazing into each other's eyes like you did with him. he could sense it coming so he would look away. after all the takes had been filmed, the two of you hung out in your trailer, but you sensed a sort of tension from him. " are you okay? " you'd ask, only for him to nod and say that he's fine , but he's obviously not fine. " oh my god. you're jealous aren't you ? " minho couldn't deny it, so he just shrugged, which left you to rush over to him and hold him in a tight hug until he felt better.
i don't think changbin would like it, not one bit. you would sit him down on the couch to let him know about the scene. tbh he would probably be on the verge of tears, thinking you want to leave him for your co-star. you wouldn't ,,,, of course ! he would be like clinging to you with this huge pout on his face. at some point he would probably beg you to turn down the role ,, but you would negotiate by having a movie night and lovely dinner. don't think he's forgotten, though
you didn't even tell hyunjin about the scene, knowing he would get all pouty and upset if you ever did. but you still felt guilty every time you hung around him, making sure to give him as many kisses until he was laughing and begging you to stop to make yourself feel better. but on the night of the premiere, he came along with you ,, with all the glamour and cameras and interviews on the red carpet, you'd almost forgotten about the kissing scene , until it popped up during the screening. both of your faces would drop, and when you looked over to see his reaction he would own this heart-wrenching pout on his lips
due to covid, cinemas wouldn't be open and there would be no premieres or live promotions for a while. however, your film was coming out on netflix and amazon prime so people could actually watch the movie. filming had occurred before you and jisung had actually gotten together , and before corona , and with lockdown everywhere staff had only gotten to editing a few months ago, so it hadn't even crossed your mind to tell your boyfriend about one of the scenes between your role and your love interest. as soon as you see his face just drop, you grab the remote and fast forward. after the film you two would cuddle and you would tell him repeatedly that it was just a mistake that you forgot to let him know
idk i feel like felix would be fine with it mostly ? like,, obviously he's not joyous about it and wants it to happen, but he doesn't want to step in the way and have you potentially lose your job. maybe he'd speak to the director briefly and ask for the kiss to be short ?? just so he doesn't lose his sanity ?? after the scene had cut, he would pull you into his arms and tell you how great you'd done ( little do you know that he was the one who changed the scene ever so slightly )
oh seungmin wouldn't like it one bit. he would accompany you to set as often as he could, in hopes to get your co-star to back off a bit. they could make the scene work without getting too frisky, it wouldn't be too tricky. might hug you a lot in front of them, kiss you,, all that stuff. but at the end of the day he was anticipating the movie's release and would congratulate you after every day of shooting !!
maybe jeongin would be fine with it . it depends on the person you're meant to be kissing. if he doesn't see them as a threat, i don't think he'd mind that much ,, but if they're all big and macho and confident, maybe he would be a bit intimidated, scared that you'll fall in love with your outstanding co-star instead of continuing to love him. you would have to remind him that he's the only apple of your eye and so on , and he believes you. because he loves you
#stray kids#stray kids reactions#skz reactions#bang chan#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#han jisung#lee felix#kim seungmin#yang jeongin
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do you pay for any subscription services? or just old school torrent pirating?
I've bummed Netflix from my high school best friend since they legit sent DVDs in the mail and I will 'til I die or until Netflix/him physically stop me. I don't care. That's just how it is. I refuse to alter the status quo lol.
Amazon Prime comes with my Prime account and that's the only reason I have it. I've watched something on there maybe...five times??? Look, we can argue about Daddy Bezos all day long but I've been in quarantine for two years. I legitimately can't fucking go to the grocery store or stores in general because of my health issues. I need to get my groceries and everything else I need delivered to my doorstep. I have to boop beep boop them on Amazon. That's just how it is. Sometimes evil overlords are what keep you alive. It's either them or Walmart and Walmart doesn't have half the options that Amazon does. The Waltons are also billionaires. It's all going to billionaires anyway. I choose to give it to the most convenient billionaire of the two.
I used to also have Hulu but that was only because it came included for free in my Sprint phone account but I switched out of Sprint last year so I don't have Hulu anymore.
The only standalone streamer that I go out of my way to outright PAY for every month is Discovery+ lol. So fucking random, I know. But I'm a WHORE for The Food Network. When I lost Hulu I needed to get my Food Network fix somewhere so now I pay the $4.99 for Discovery+. It comes with like nine other channels that I never watch. I'm just there for my cooking shows lol.
There's nothing my VPN and torrents can't cover so why would I pay for streamers? This new generation has to learn you don't need to give Disney your money to enjoy their content...I got my Kate and Yelena fix just fine and never gave them a cent. Do you maybe have to wait an extra hour or two? Sure. Wow. How hard must your life be! Go for a walk while the torrent gets uploaded/downloads. You won't lose a limb. I promise.
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THE STORM - Part thirteen
Fandom: The Boys (Amazon prime tv series)
Pairing: Black Noir x OC
Disclaimer: I don’t own The Boys, only my OC characters and certain pieces of au plot.
A/N: So here’s a short chap with Sarah and Martha hanging out. I want this series to slowly build up to what I have planned, since it’s highly unrealistic for either of them (BN and OC) to immediately and blindly trust each other. BN might be taken by her, but he’s not stupid. Next chapter will have more BN!!
Black coffee and light reading
It had been a couple of days since he’d last seen her, and Noir was growing restless. He’d left for an energy drink commercial he was supposed to star in and was very close to beheading the film director who had him endlessly repeating his scenes. He was disgusted by their superficial ways, this façade they all hid behind. He was no movie star or celebrity. He was a killer.
Kevin, the scrawny man directing the scenes called out, “And cut.”
Noir immediately stepped back into his usual strict posture as the smaller man moved towards him.
“I really liked this one,” he praised excitedly, “but why don’t we try this again? We want it to be intense,” he emphasized, “—keep viewers on the edge of their seats.”
The large, masked man stared down at him for a few seconds, enjoying the way Kevin grew visibly uncomfortable. As the director began trying to convince him, Noir simply moved past him and walked off. You don’t want to see intense, he thought.
Making his way through rows of props and sets, he reached his trailer and decided he didn’t feel like holing up in the cramped space for the rest of the day. Instead, he kept walking until he’d left the film set behind.
Soon, he reached a wooded area and delved inside, exploring the small dusty path curling through the tall trees. He imagined that Sarah was there with him, her small hand curled in his. Who was she? Was her name Sarah, or rather Marianna? Was she spying on Vought? He thought back to the night he followed her to the club, and he’d seen her burn the shape of her fingers into the man’s wrist. Noir was left stunned, and slightly impressed, but he couldn’t shake the doubt clouding his mind. He was meant to keep Vought’s enemies at bay, by picking them off one by one if they got too close. Was she the next threat they’d point out?
His mind drifted back to their evening in her backyard, soaking in the moonlight that filtered through the passing clouds. When he’d first seen her at the gala, he’d found her spectacular. She moved with grace and purpose, and her bright smile had immediately caught his attention. But now he’d gotten a glance behind the curtain and realized there was so much more. She was enigmatic, magnetic. He saw the heaviness of her shoulders, the maturity in her dark eyes. She was an observer, taking in her surroundings in a meticulous and rather calculating manner—just like him. There was a fatigue that lingered in her eyes, and her constantly being cold concerned him. But he could see the fire behind it all. She was hiding away under a façade of innocence and presented herself as small, vulnerable. He had a feeling she was anything but.
She intrigued him, and it was the first time he found himself so involved in another individual’s life and well-being. That night under the stars, he’d seen her on edge, lost at sea.
He hoped she was doing well.
..
It had been a few days since Sarah had seen Noir, and she wondered if something had happened. She wished she didn’t mind but was surprised when she found herself missing his presence. He was quiet, and yet reassuring. If only they could communicate more directly.
That morning, Sarah and Martha had taken a day off for the quirky blonde’s birthday. They’d decided to go to a local bookstore and coffee shop for a warm drink and pastry before heading off to visit her parents. The two women visited the petite shop every chance they got, always pleased with the homey and warm atmosphere oozing from the book-covered walls.
Once they’d settled down at a small table near the large windows, they ordered and chatted about anything and everything under the sun.
“How did your date with Dave go?” Sarah asked while taking small sips off her coffee.
Martha shook her head, “I was trying to avoid it.”
“Oh, come on, it couldn’t have been that bad—"
“—Worse”
Sarah caught the mischief in Martha’s eyes and knew she was messing with her.
“So, what happened?”
“Well, you see what happened was—” Martha began recounting the tale, “we were sat at dinner, and he moved in really close. His hand came over to mine, and he was flirting while talking about movies…”
Sarah watched her, entirely unconvinced.
“…and then you see, he said the wrong thing,” she took a deep breath, “he said he hates transformers.”
Sarah rolled her eyes, “Oh for the love of God.”
Martha immediately dove into an explanation, “No, we love that movie, you and I. We used to watch it religiously every weekend—” she grew louder, while Sarah tried to quiet her down, “—and I will not take this kind of disrespect from some pretty boy.”
Sarah could do nothing but laugh at this point, her friend joining her.
After they’d grown serious, Martha attempted to draw information on the mysterious man who’d sent her, and was probably still sending her, all those gifts.
“What about your mystery man?” she began, “Are you still seeing him?”
Sarah waved it off, “Not really, it’s been a few days—”
“—a few days” Martha exclaimed.
Sarah drew herself into a professional posture.
“Oh, don’t go all Mallory on me now, just give me some details,” she asked, “please?”
Sarah thought on it, and ultimately decided that feeding her friend some details would do no harm, as long as she kept the man’s identity out of the picture.
“Well, we watched Die Hard together—”
“—like Netflix and chill?”
“No,” Sarah grew flustered, “just let me finish, you can run through your list of questions when I’m done.”
Martha smiled and nodded, deciding to not torture her until the end of the story.
“He’s a fan of Die Hard so we decided to do a movie night…” she trailed off. “And it was nice. Unexpected, but nice,” she continued, her mind straying to his uncovered hands, him pulling her into his chest for a chaste kiss on her head.
“Hey, you there,” Martha asked with a knowing look.
“And a couple nights ago he showed up and we watched the moon from the backyard,” she recounted, avoiding as much detail as possible.
Martha looked at her unimpressed, “Is that seriously the best you can do? Come on, tell me about him,” she pressed, “I want to know how you feel about him.”
“I honestly don’t know yet,” she sighed. “And he’s just…” she searched for the right word, “Unexpected.”
Martha rolled her eyes, “Okay unexpected—got it. Describe him.”
“He’s very tall, and strong. A bit dark and brooding," she almost snorted at the understatement. "And he’s quiet you know—doesn’t speak much. But he’s a reassuring presence, good-mannered and,” she faltered thinking back to him pulling her chair out for her, or insisting he wash their cups. “Kind, I guess.”
“So, he’s not stalkerish?”
Definitely. “No, not at all. Nothing worth worrying about,” Sarah reassured her.
Martha watched her carefully, “Okay. I guess that’s enough to keep me satisfied for a couple days, but I want the deets, girl.”
Sarah laughed, relieved they were closing the subject, “Of course.”
She looked down at the black coffee in her cup, her thoughts wondering off to their quiet encounter under an equally pitch-black sky.
Martha snapped her fingers, “I want to stop by Sephora before we leave, so drink up,” she winked, “I’ll get the check.”
And with that the blonde smoothly stood from her chair and headed towards the cute guy at the counter.
Sarah couldn’t help but smile at her friend’s antics. She quickly downed her coffee ready to leave the table, when the spine of a book beside her caught her attention. “Sign language for beginners.”
Conflicted, she stared at it. He might not even come back. Maybe he thought she was weird after that night in her awful backyard. Still, she let her hand move forward and pull it from the neat rows of thick volumes. It looked worn, as if it had been used extensively. She found it oddly comforting.
Finally reaching the front counter, she cut into Martha and the man’s flirtatious conversation holding up the book in her hand. She payed, and the two women finally left.
Once outside, Martha eyed her friend questioningly.
“What?”
“Why are you learning sign language," she asked. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it, I was just wondering—is there any particular reason?”
Sarah kept her expression light and unreadable, “Just interested.”
I’m so stupid, Sarah thought to herself as she found herself hoping he’d return. So stupid.
Martha accepted her friend’s answer, and they hurried off ready for the rest of their day.
MASTERLIST
Tag list: @ateliefloresdaprimavera @ellejo @dust-bun @coco724 @proximio-5 @damiminator @omegahighendpro @rpgluvr95 @sweetrabbitteamx
#the boys#the boys tv#the boys amazon#black noir#the boys season 2#fanfiction#oc story#black noir x oc#romance
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October/November Picks
Long time no see! So...it’s been a little bit since I’ve posted a wrap up. I had all intentions of posting one after October, but then you know life gets ahead of you and before you know it it’s Thanksgiving. Not much has changed in my viewing habits for these past two months, so I thought I’d group them together for a mega wrap up. Hope you enjoy :)
Without further ado here come some spoilers.....
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SECRET SOCIETY OF SECOND BORN ROYALS
This Disney + original movie was one of my highly anticipated watches for the fall. I am disappointed to share that it was a let down. The concept was such a cool and creative one. Having the second born in a royal family not simply be the “spare” but be the protector...with superpowers! (In a very YA way, getting their powers at a specific age.) They just should have gone about the story in a better way. I wanted more time with them learning about the powers and to make the villain stronger. Overall the acting wasn’t bad (which is good for a Disney + original), but it was just lacking. The movie was LONG and yet much did not feel like it happened. It was cool seeing Casa Loma (the castle they filmed at) as I was just there two summers ago. Sadly, I will not be watching this movie again.
VIOLETTA SEASON 3
We all already know how pumped I was when season 3 of Violetta was released on Disney Plus in September. I couldn’t believe it after waiting so long for the second season. I really enjoyed the beginning of this season and knew we would be headed down a road where I would grow tired of the storylines.
We have hit that point.
Quick Violetta rant. Things I am done with:
Roxy and Fausta plot
Fran and Diego being a secret
Herman and Priscilla
Pablo not at the studio
Milton being evil
Ludmilla lying
Recently, my sister is catching up to where I am in the season, so this has pushed me to watch more. I am on episode 43 and some of the above venting has been solved, so that is super exciting. I am finding myself wanting to watch it more now, so fingers crossed it continues to get better.
JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS
Kenny Ortega has done it again! When I first heard the premise for this show and watched the trailer on Netflix I wasn’t too sure. Then both of my sisters watched it and they wouldn’t stop talking about it, so that was a sign that I needed to watch it. Since then, I have watched the show twice and can’t stop listening to the music. THIS. SHOW. :) I get the hype. It’s just so wholesome and feel good. The characters are well crafted and the episodes go way too fast. They are the kind of characters (and cast) that make you wish you were a part of the show. I can’t wait for the next season (because there better be one). Definitely add this one to your list if it’s not on their already.
THE OUTPOST
The Summer CW shows were pushed to the fall line up due to delays in filming of the originally planned shows. I hope this means that they’re getting a little more love this year. The Outpost deserves it, as it is currently in its third season. (I think it might have gotten a little more now that the 100 is over and the commercial aired during the 100′s last season. Maybe people heard Black-blood and decided to give it a go.) This season has seen a new threat and during the first eight episodes there’s been MANY twists and turns, making it hard for me to remember how this season started. There’s been a lot of unrest in the Outpost and changes in who is in charge. While there are some unnecessary plot-lines (like that Tobin had to be married), I’m really enjoying others. Like how important Janzo is, his relationship with Ren, more Munt and that TALON AND GARRETT FINALLY GOT TOGETHER!!! It makes me so happy and is what we deserve after these three seasons. I love how strong both of their characters are and how they are both Warriors. I hope the season ends strong.
PANDORA
Just like The Outpost, Pandora was originally a Summer CW show that is now airing its second season. I really enjoyed the first season (like more than I was expecting), so I went in with higher hopes for this new season. Unfortunately, I have been let down so far. With the first season, there were parts that left me confused and my biggest review of this show has always been how there were gaps or moments where I didn’t know how much time had gone by. Those kind of things I could overlook, but this season the overall plot just seems weaker. I think this in part because of so many new characters. I know a lot of the season 1 cast ended their characters’ plots away from the Academy, but I wasn’t expecting them not to be a part of this season’s story. That has been a difficult adjustment. I also feel like I only understand Jax’s story and not so much about the other government/rebellion points. It’s getting a little better, but I hope it gets to be more enjoyable.
THE SPANISH PRINCESS--SEASON 2
When I originally was creating this list I had just started this season, and felt completely different than I do right now. I just finished this season last week. Much like my above review on Pandora, The Spanish Princess wasn’t sucking me in. I had a few episodes gather on the DVR. Then once we hit episode 3 or 4 and more drama was starting/Henry was starting to show glimpses of the Henry VIII we all know, I was growing more interested. In season 2 of the Spanish Princess, we do not see a loving Catherine and Henry for long. Problems Catherine have in conceiving a boy (male heir) are one of the main focal points, as is Woolsey’s growing influence on the king. With several sub-plots this season, I specifically enjoyed learning more about Meg in Scotland (as a big Mary Queen of Scots/Reign fan, I liked seeing a portrayal of her grandmother) as well as Princess Mary Tudor (who I was unfamiliar with. I loved her and Charlie Brandon’s relationship and wish we could have gotten more.) Each week I watched this show, I found myself Googling a lot. That is always one of my favorite parts of watching a historical drama based on true events. I know right now it looks like the producers aren’t continuing with the Tudor line and might have a different part of history as their next show, but I wish they would. I’m feeling the call to watch the Tudors as it’s on Netflix and I haven’t seen it before. I want to learn more about his wives.
BLOWN AWAY
In a complete shift from a period piece, here is another Netflix show I thoroughly enjoyed watching last month. Do you find the act of glass blowing to be extremely interesting, but you would never dream of trying yourself? Or do you like competition game shows that are not like anything else you’ve watched before? Then Blown Away might be for you! It’s a very fast watch with only a handful of episodes that are about a half hour a piece. (I honestly wished they were a bit longer because it was SO GOOD!) Each contestant is a glass blower and they get to show off their skills by competing in a specific challenge. Each episode you see someone get eliminated until the final where the winner gets a residency at Corning Museum of Glass in upstate New York. This show came out in 2019 and I am hoping a second season comes out.
LIFE IN PIECES
This CBS comedy was one that I remember loving when it first came out. But I only remember watching the first season because then I couldn’t remember which day it was on. (It’s going to sound weird, but because I don’t watch a lot on this network I often forget it exists. We also only had a one room DVR at the time, so we couldn’t tape more than 2 things. Oh, the joys of multi-room DVR). After I finished my re-watch of Derry Girls in September, I was looking for another sitcom to re-watch. This was when I stumbled on the full series of Life in Pieces on Amazon video. (It’s free to watch with Prime.) I was so surprised to see there were 4 seasons! Since then I have been watching a good amount of episodes when I sit down to watch it. Now I’m about mid way in the second season. I highly recommend this show if you haven’t seen it before. It gives vibes of Modern Family. Very short episodes that include four storylines. The format is one that I haven’t seen done before in a sitcom.
SUPERMARKET SWEEP
The revival of the beloved game show from the early 90s is now hosted by Leslie Johns and is the best thing you should be watching on Sunday nights. If you know your grocery shopping list like the back of your hand then you are all set for this show. Leslie Johns is hilarious as are the cast of characters that are regulars in her supermarket. I think it would be a great TV show to be on and I’m not just saying that because I want one of the sweatshirts (although that would be great). If you want (another) feel-good watch, look no further! You catch up on demand.
RE-WATCHING
ANNE WITH AN E
It’s hard to believe that we only got the third season of Anne with an E at the beginning of this year (as this year feels like its been going on forever and when I watched the third season I was in a much less stressed place). Currently, I am teaching a class involving Little Women and Anne of Green Gables. The main focus is on how these stories get adapted in recent times and include such modern plots (and sub-plots). Naturally Anne with an E is perfect for this topic (and after watching season 3 at the start of the year) was one of my major reasons for choosing this topic. (The other being Greta Gerwig’s latest Little Women.) As I’ve been planning my schedule, I’ve re-watched this show. There is something so great about watching it from season 1 all the way through to season 3. You get to watch them grow up and it’s crazy to see how young they first were. Comparing it more to the novel has been a fun time, but also analyzing it more has been great and made me appreciate it even more. With all the stress of our current situation watching this show has made me escape and feel good. (Yes, I know I’ve used that word a lot in this wrap up, but it’s true.)
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Hopefully my next wrap up isn’t as delayed. Wishing everyone a happy holiday season!
#secret society of second born royals#disney plus#violetta season 3#violetta castillo#fran y diego#julie and the phantoms#sunset curve#luke x reggie x alex#luke x julie#the outpost#the outpost cw#talon x garrett#pandora season 2#pandora cw#the spanish princess#catherine of aragon#life in pieces#supermarket sweep#anne with an e#anne shirley cuthbert
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Get Real Angry: Interrogation, Final
CW: Institutional brutality, whump of a minor (in the form of a video Jake watches), beating, electric shock, very vaguely referenced past/potential noncon, violence in response to self-soothing stimming behavior, referenced familial abuse, sleep deprivation, creepy whumper behavior
The final part of Jake’s interrogation during his very bad week. Tomorrow I hope to get his reunion with Chris written, and then Jake’s first day back in class after that, and then we’ll return to your regularly scheduled comfort programming now that this little mini-narrative is out of my head!
To understand the frat guy reference (a reference to @deluxewhump‘s Alex), please read this piece here.
INTERROGATION: PART ONE PART TWO
Tagging @burtlederp, @finder-of-rings, @endless-whump, @whumpfigure, @stxck-fxck, @slaintetowhump
When Everly wheels the TV in - big and blocky, on a little metal wheelie cart with a squeaky wheel and rust spots along the frame - and settles it in front of the chair Jake has been encouraged to sit in, Jake is reminded, bizarrely, of a movie he saw a few years ago.
Weird arthouse movie about a guy that takes another guy captive and his boyfriend or whatever tries to hunt him down, they watched something on a TV in an old house… shit, what was it called… Jake’s head hurts, throbs with a kind of foggy ache, and he closes his eyes, head drooping just slightly.
He could drift off just like this, with his wrists still zip-tied, his shoulders screaming pain at him. Since waking up at the sound of the cops banging on the door, sleep has been a twenty-minute nap here and there, as long as they’ll let him drop off, slumped in his chair, forehead resting on the table in the interrogation room.
Everly left for a while, he assumes to get some fucking sleep. They’d set up some kind of weird blaring alarm system that went off while he was gone, going off every hour or so, waking Jake up. His head feels weighted down with the fucking need for sleep.
Once his eyes close, he can’t quite seem to force them open again. God, he could, he really could fall asleep now, with Everly staring right down at him. Rescues talk about it, about curling up on the floor, covering their eyes with their arms to try and find the tiniest bit of darkness in the unending white light, just… drifting away into some kind of doze and fuck, what he wouldn’t give for a real nap right about now-
There’s a slam, palm on metal table, rattling it, and Jake jerks his head back up, staring wide-eyed up at the handler, breathing in harsh pants. Everly’s not even wearing his stupid fake cop uniform anymore. He doesn’t even try to hold up the pretense.
That’s how Jake knows - for sure this time, not just a hunch - that that camera in the corner by the ceiling definitely isn’t turned on.
Wanted to contract you but I was overruled. Jake’s bloodshot exhausted eyes stare up into Everly’s calm, almost pleased flat gray, and he shudders. It’s a thin line between protecting people who need help and being turned into one.
He kind of wants to send a thank-you card to whoever decided he was too much trouble to abduct.
“Wake up, sunshine,” Everly says, pleased as can be, pleased as punch Jake’s nana would have said, when he was little. Tiny little old southern woman, genteel beachside accent, sweet tea on the table, Sunday dinner, what happens between you and your husband is your business, Maggie. Jake shudders, all over.
When you run from a man who won’t stop hurting you with your kid in tow, you have to run from all the people who just can’t give enough of a fuck to help you, too.
“Pretty-… pretty sure sleep deprivation is torture under th’ Geneva Conventions,” Jake mumbles, forcing his head to stay up, his spine as straight as he can make it. Leaning against the back of the chair helps, but shit, what he wouldn’t give-
That’s how it starts, Jake. You think you’d give something up just to sleep, and then they take that, and take more than that, and eventually there’s nothing left.
“Probably,” Everly acknowledges with a careless shrug. “But you’re gonna have one hell of a time proving you were here and not just the unfortunate recipient of a beating outside a bar or whatever the fuck you do in your free time.”
“In m’free time,” Jake slurs - weird how being this tired has made it harder to move his mouth, even, “I mostly feed homeless people. Not… ‘zactly a violent hobby.”
“Weird how that happened to you, then,” Everly says brightly. He picks up a remote on the cart and starts pressing buttons. The TV powers on with a sudden flash of colors and Jake winces as the light hurts his eyes, blinking rapidly, trying to focus.
It’s harder than it should be. Everything is harder than it should be. He’s not even sure he could stand up on his own any longer, his legs feel like noodles precariously balanced on top of concrete blocks.
“No… no folder t’day?” Jake asks, staring as the menu pops up. Smart TV, of course it is. He stifles a laugh at the sight of the little Netflix icon, Hulu, Amazon Prime. “Y’watch a lot of, of fuckin’ TV when you’re torturin’ innocent people?”
“Shut up, it belongs to the police station.” Everly chooses an app off to the corner, something called KINECTREMOT, the letters dancing and refusing to settle as Jake tries to read them. Does it start this way, with the rescues? Does it start with it just getting harder because you’re tired, and then one day the letters start to hurt?
Or is there something else, to that? Something to the training the rescues can’t explain, maybe don’t even remember?
No, Kauri remembers. Kauri’s head is a fucking mess but he remembers more of training than any of the others seem to be. Maybe that’s why his head is a mess. Jake groans, trying to focus, to think.
Everly’s humming to himself, a soft little tune on his lips, as he inputs a login username [email protected] and a password that just shows up as little circles. He fucks it up the first time, has to redo it. Jake holds back a snort.
“Y’tired, too, huh?” He asks, false sympathy dripping from his tone. “Real tired? Wanna schedule us a fuckin’ naptime, man?”
Everly glances back at him, then leans over and grabs Jake by the back of the head, casually slamming his forehead into the metal table, listening to Jake’s cry of pain with a faint grin on his face, then jerking his head back up, to look into exhausted, foggy light-colored eyes. “Have some fucking manners, Stanton.”
“Fair ‘nough,” Jake slurs, head pounding with pain, slumping to the side. “Can I please request a fuckin’ nap, sir-”
“No.” Everly goes back to humming, tries the username and password again. Wrong again. Jake wonders if he fucks it up again, if he’ll get locked out. Since this is clearly meant to be some kind of dramatic reveal, the idea strikes him as funny. Not just funny, fucking hilarious. Jake starts to giggle, unwillingly, almost helplessly. Big tough guy can’t figure out his fucking password for his Big Villain Moment. It’s funny, right? It’s really fucking funny, and shit, he’s so tired the glint of light off the table and the little spot of blood from his head, smeared across, seems funny because it’s like looking at clouds, what shape is this? and Chris on the grass bouncing up and down on his feet and saying it’s it’s it’s a kangaroo, Jake, it’s a kangaroo, in Australia they call them roos, they just say, say, say say say roo I saw a man on TV he said, said roo, he just said roo and that cloud looks like-
There’s a flash of pain, impact of palm across bruises that have already blossomed dark on his face, and Jake grunts, jerking to the side, somehow managing to stay in his seat.
“Stop laughing. Stay quiet.” Everly narrows his eyes, tries one more time to put the password in. This time it works and the screen flashes black with the KINECTREMOT logo across the front, a soft chime of sound.
What he’s looking at now, Jake doesn’t really understand. Some kind of inbox, but for pictures and videos. They’re all labeled with six-digit numbers, a long list of them, with the words PRIMARY, SECONDARY, TERTIARY next to each one. Not always the same word. Some of them say one thing, some say another. Some of them just say CALL IN or EMERGENCY.
Everly chooses a search bar option and starts painstakingly entering a number, and Jake stares, dumbly, wondering what the fuck he’s looking at, but with a sick certainty that he really, really does not want to know.
Everly’s still humming that stupid song, and Jake realizes why it’s sticking in his head, now. “Are y’… are y’humming Hotel California?”
Everly stops, blinks, looks over at him, genuinely baffled. Then he laughs, a rumbling sound. Jake hates that fucking smug piece of shit’s laughter. “I guess I am. Hadn’t noticed. It was playing on my way from the hotel this morning. You like that song?”
Jake stares at him, as evenly as he can, his eyelids trying to droop down, body desperate for sleep. “Used to.”
Everly chuckles again. “Yeah, it’s overplayed. Anyway… here we go.” He’s picked one number out - 223499, it doesn’t mean anything, and next to it he reads PRIMARY/SECONDARY and what the fuck does that mean? A long line of little thumbnail images pop up, with labels next to them. INTAKE, ISOLATION DAY 1, DAY 2, DAY 3.
The drop in Jake’s stomach gets worse. He feels almost nauseous with fear - not for himself, exactly, but for what he knows he’s about to see. “Wait, wait-… what are you-”
“Shut up, Stanton.”
“No. No, I, I can’t-… what are you goin’ t’do?” Jake looks up, bleary, frightened now. Everly just smiles back down at him, that smug fucking shit-eating grin, and Jake pulls hard on his restrained wrists, feels a flash of bright agonizing pain as the plastic, caked in two days of dried blood, reopens the raw wounds. He grunts at the ache, but everything from his shoulders down has hurt like hell since day one.
“You know, I requested authorization for injectables, too-”
“What th’fuck are those?”
“It’s pretty obvious from the name, I think. Got overruled on that one, too. Fuckin’ higher-ups worried about traceable compounds and shit. I mean, I get the concern. We can’t keep you long enough for that shit to get fully out of your system. But it would’ve made getting to watch this part a lot more fun.”
Everly selects a thumbnail, and the screen opens up - it’s like some bizarre fucked-up snuff-film take on a Netflix episode choice, with the thumbnail suddenly blown up to a larger size and a small description next to it. Someone made a computer program for this, Jake realizes with an even sicker drop in his stomach. Disgust ricochets around his body. Somewhere, at some point, someone built a computer program designed to let these assholes show him a video of… of what?
223499 - CONTRACT SIGNING he reads, just as Everly pushes play.
“Why show me this?” He asks, in nearly a whisper. “D’you… d’you think this is gonna make me not want to, to help?”
“No, I think you won’t break today, and today’s all I got. Give me a week and a white room and I’d have you taking food from my fingers, but sadly, our time together nears its end. Here’s what I can do, though. I can show you something you can’t ever prove. And I can watch your fuckin’ face the whole time. I can get you all riled up, all angry, and send you home with that bitterness just roiling around inside you.”
On the TV screen, Jake sees a small table in a blank room. No pictures on the walls, no decorations at all. Just a small table, two chairs, one on either side. Sitting in one chair is a woman in a suit - everything about her screams lawyer. Behind her, leaning against the wall, in a prim pantsuit, is a woman Jake has seen on TV before, that Renford bitch.
Antoni walked into the room when she was on TV once, turned around and walked out, and didn’t come out of his room for the rest of the day. Kauri flinched when Nat had to wear heels for a meeting and came walking down the stairs.
Jake knows pure soulless evil when he sees it, and there it is, looking bored.
There’s another person, too, mostly hidden by the shadows in the corner, but there’s something weirdly familiar about what Jake can see of him, something he can’t quite place. He’s wearing a pastel-colored polo and light slacks, weirdly fussy looking, like he’s dressed in case he ends up on TV.
Which, Jake guesses he kind of did.
They’re chatting - the sound of it too low for Jake’s tired brain to parse into words he can understand. Just easy, comfortable talk. Coworkers chit-chatting about their weekends, waiting for the day to start. Lawyer’s got a mug of coffee in front of her, takes a sip. It’s normal inane corporate chatter and these are people who do unimaginable damage to other peoples’ lives and they don’t feel a fucking thing about it.
“I won’t get what I want today. But I think I’ll see what I’m hoping to see on your face - and I think you’ll go home with something stuck in your head that you can’t get out.” Everly moves around behind him, stands with his hands on Jake’s shoulders, rubbing thumbs in like he’s giving him the world’s most painful backrub. Jake grinds his teeth together to keep from making a single sound. His eyes want to close, to look away, but there’s some sort of fascination that keeps his eyes glued to the screen.
He’s always wondered what the contract signings are like. The rescues never remember them.
There must be some sound - everyone kind of shifts around in their chairs, straightens up, and the lawyer pulls some papers out of a small folder in front of her, slides them across to the other side of the table in front of the other chair, sets a plastic pen down next to the paper. Fiddles with it, shifting it back and forth minutely, until it’s perfectly parallel.
A door behind the empty chair opens, and Jake stares in perfect horror as Chris is shoved into the room, a man Jake doesn’t recognize behind him, wearing the handler uniform and prodding Chris with a black stick.
He’s so… small, isn’t he?
Jake rarely thinks about how small Chris really is. In the video, he’s hunched over, his hair looks weirdly clumpy. He’s wearing a loose white V-neck T-shirt that’s way too big for him, like it’s oversized or they just couldn’t be bothered to get him one that fit. His knees stick out from under a pair of thin black shorts.
“Oh my God,” Jake whispers. His heart feels like ice in his chest, the cold is spreading through his veins, right to the tips of his toes in his sneakers, now bloodied like everything else he was wearing when they dragged him in here two… three? days ago.
Thumbs dig into his shoulder blades and he hisses, jerking forwards away from the pressure. “Recognize him, huh?”
Jake sets his jaw. “I recognize that you’re a fuckin’ monster piece of shit-”
Everly grabs his head and slams it down on the table again. Jake goes limp, groaning at the spark of white-hot pain, little spots in his vision even with closed eyes. Then his head is jerked back up. Motherfucker really likes walking the head injury line. “Watch. The. Video.”
“This… this won’t make me any less angry,” Jake manages to force out between numb lips. “None of it will.”
“Good. Then you’ll fuck up. The angry ones always do.” Everly grabs his chin from behind him and forces it forward.
On the screen, Chris is sitting in the previously empty chair now, the handler’s hand on one shoulder, thumb rubbing back and forth across the back of his neck. He’s shivering so hard Jake can see it in the slightly blurry video, looking around at everyone. There are deep visible shadows under his eyes, and Jake watches the way he sits, with his hands sort of between his legs, can tell from the tension in his arms he’s gripping onto the chair. “Wh-why am, am, am, am-”
“Fuckin’ broken record,” The handler behind him says, a man Jake has never seen, and smacks Chris hard against the back of the head. He jerks forward, whimpering, and Jake would give anything to be able to crawl into the screen and save him.
There are tears in his eyes he has to blink away, but now that he sees him he doesn’t want to miss a second. He’s so little, even though he’s almost the same age he is now. Being in that place, with those people, makes him seem so small, so deeply in need of protection. He’s so fucking scared and none of them even care.
“No one mentioned a stammer,” The man in the corner says. His voice is familiar, too, it sounds like it’s tailor-made for TV. Smooth as silk, with something rotten hidden underneath. “I’m not interested in a fixer-upper, Karen.”
“I’m not selling you one, either,” Renford replies, and Jake’s hands curl into fists behind his back. “He hasn’t been trained yet. No one starts training until they sign.”
“What…” Chris - not Chris, not really, this is whoever he was before he became Chris - flinches and looks backwards up at the handler, as if checking for permission to speak. Jake swallows back bile when the handler nods, and Chris looks back forwards again, his gaze jumping all over the room. He doesn’t seem to see the man in the corner at all, and Jake squints as he realizes there’s some kind of one-way glass along that area, angled so the camera sees everyone, but he’s pretty sure Chris can’t see the man. “Who’s… talking?”
His words are slurred together and deliberately, carefully spaced.
He talked like this when he first arrived at the shelter, for days after. Flat, meaningless syllables dropped and run from, certain he’d be hurt if he made a single sound that wasn’t allowed.
“Not important, trainee,” The handler says. “Pay attention to what is important.”
“Yes, um… yes, yes, sir,” Chris says in a low, weak voice.
“Bet you’d like to commit murder right about now,” Everly says from behind him.
“You’d win that bet,” Jake growls.
“I always fuckin’ do.”
“What, um-… what’s happening?” Chris asks, softly, looking around the room.
“This is your consent form,” The lawyer says, tapping a fingernail on the paper between them. Chris winces, slightly, hunching back into the handler’s touch. “All your information is there as provided by your adult guardian-”
“Joanne? Aunt Jo?” Chris is looking around, confused, blinking. “But, but, but but she… she, I’m supposed to, to live with her now-”
“Not anymore, you’re not,” The handler says, with a laugh.
“What, what, what-what, what, what does that-”
The handler hits Chris hard across the back of the head again, and he bites down on his lower lip and goes silent.
“You’d have gotten her an even higher payout if you didn’t talk so fucking much,” The handler says, grumbling, like Chris is the problem here.
Chris’s expression collapses from a nervous, frightened curiosity to an awful well of pain and grief. “Gotten her, her, her a what?”
The lawyer ignores him and keeps speaking. “… and your legal identification, confirming that you’re overage-”
“But, but I’m not, I’m, I’m n-not, I just turned, uh-” Chris is struggling, and Jake wants to climb into that screen and hold him, calm him down, help him slow his mouth to find the words. Chris’s eyes are wide, and his fear can be read, oddly foggy and dazed, like he’s operating on a slight delay. “I just, just just just-”
The handler behind him grips the back of his neck, like a man grabbing the scruff of an unruly dog, and Chris’s voice cuts off like turning a radio dial.
There’s a moment of silence where Jake can hear his harsh, panting breaths.
“What did we talk about, ‘499? About lying?”
Chris’s hands come up onto the table, tapping on it, not loud enough for Jake to hear. “N-not, not, not to lie to you, but-but, um, but but but I’m, I’m not-”
“Stop that shit with your hands. Now.”
Nothing visibly changes but Chris goes quiet again, staring straight down. His hands stop moving. His shoulders are hiked nearly to his ears and Jake wonders if the handler holding him by the neck tightened his grip.
“How old are you, trainee?” The handler asks the question heavy with loaded double-meanings, obvious enough Jake can read them. Give the right answer or get hurt.
“Eighteen,” Chris whispers, with wide scared eyes. Everyone in the room seems satisfied with the blatant, obvious lie.
“Good. And is that the legal consenting age?”
“… yes.”
“Good boy.” The handler pets heavily through Chris’s hair, and the boy shudders in disgust - Jake has never seen him react to touch like that, not from anyone. Just one more sign of a person that’s been totally erased.
“Pl-please, please don’t, please don’t-don’t, don’t touch me-”
“That’s not an option available to you any longer,” The handler says, pulling the black stick from his belt - and Jake knows what those are, he knows exactly what those are, he’s had one raining down on his back and his ribs and his arms now, had one stuck against his knee to force electric shock into his nerves. He wants to push back, but he’s so, so tired. “Your options are to take the touch as it’s given and thank me for it, or…” He taps the black stick on the back of one of Chris’s hands. The boy’s hand jerks back, but when the handler tsks, clicking his tongue against his teeth, Chris lays the hand slowly back out on the table.
“Why would you ever tape this?” Jake asks, barely aware his mouth is moving.
“Lunchtime entertainment,” Everly replies, blithely. The two of them watch as Chris says something, but there’s a strange rushing sound in Jake’s head and for a second, he’s so… furious… that he can’t even hear. All he can do is stare, the rushing sound drowning him out, and then the black baton comes down on his fingers and Jake cries out, as Chris’s mouth opens in a painful wail, as he tries to pull his hands protectively back to himself only to have them forced back onto the table again.
And hit again.
And again.
And again.
Jake’s going to be sick all over the floor if it goes on any longer.
The man who has been watching, hidden in the corner, laughs at the sight. He laughs harder, louder, when the handler forces Chris to thank him for the pain.
It’s his laugh that Jake recognizes, finally. It’s the laugh that turns him from shadowy and familiar to a face that Jake’s seen on TV a dozen times or more. Jake has protested his speeches on the human pet industry, has written essays on the complicity of government in human atrocities with this very man in mind, but when he was thinking of complicity he was never, ever thinking of this.
“You sold him to the fucking Governor?”
No wonder he’s so fucking cozy with WRU. They sold him a goddamn teenager for a personal toy-
“Took you long enough.” Everly pats him on the head, good dog, and Jake jerks away from the touch, thinking of Chris doing the same - and how he pushes into every touch now, good or bad, can’t tell the difference. Has to be told, over and over again. How many days without letting me sleep would it take to get me to give in like that? “Watching you watch this… you know who that kid is. You’ve seen him before. Lie to me or don’t, your face gave it all away. Our informant told us you’ve been bringing a kid who fits the description to your classes.”
Oh, God. The raid was my fault.
On the screen, Chris is signing the contract, hands shaking, the handler’s palm still laying flat against the back of his neck, over the heavy black collar he has around his throat.
“Just a homeless kid,” Jake grinds out, staring at Chris’s terrified shadowed face. Watching as he’s dragged back out, stumbling, with the handler’s grip iron-tight on his thin arm. Chris was tapping in the video, Jake thinks. He tapped before, that’s part of him, not something he picked up. Did he hit his head, before, too? “Could’ve been him. Wouldn’t know. He left.”
“Different story than where we started when I brought you in,” Everly remarks. He puts a hand on the back of Jake’s neck. Rubs his thumb, back and forth, just at the nape where skin and soft, short hair meet.
Just like the handler in the video, with Chris.
“Who called?” Jake asks, holding himself very, very still under the touch. He’s seen Antoni go like this, he thinks - just holding himself like a statue, his eyes straight ahead, not looking. When he has a bad night and spends the day on edge, when any little thing sets him off. “Who told you it was us?”
If it was that fucking frat guy - he’s in one of Jake’s classes, he’s probably seen him with Chris, could even have seen him doing yoga over on the grass, could have seen them in the coffee shop or eating lunch in the big seating area, anywhere, really - Jake will hunt down which frat he’s in and personally set the whole goddamn house on fire, starting with that asshole’s bedroom-
“A Professor Gregory Barnham,” Everly says. The words mean nothing to Everly. They mean entirely too much to Jake.
“My fucking Ethics in Political Philosophy professor?” For a second, his brain just refuses to reconcile what he’s been told. He’s been careful in that class. He’s kept his head down, stayed quiet, and the professor never told him not to bring Chris and the professor has smiled at Chris. Said hello. Nice guy, if definitely not super into the pet lib thing, and Jake had been so careful, bringing Chris in the back, keeping him carefully separate from the other students.
Not careful enough.
That son of a bitch saw Jake with a kid who was slowly coming out of his shell and he thought, better call WRU on this one. Better have that kid all fucked up again.
He’s probably not going to go back to that class. He’s probably going to fail it. He’s probably going to spend the next week convincing himself not to light the professor’s house on fire, and feeling like he kind of owes Frat Guy an apology for assuming the worst.
Sorry, dude, you trusted my intentions enough to be fuckin’ vulnerable about your shitty fucking fraternity buying a fucking preson, I decided to repay the favor by assuming you’re the asshole who could have gotten my family killed-
Jake doesn’t think about calling them his family. The word doesn’t even register in his tired mind. It’s just there, the foundation of the thought.
“Why tell me who called in?” Jake asks. He can’t figure out this guy’s angle. He’s giving Jake too much information, isn’t he? Showing him Chris’s video, the contract signing of an underage kid, the fucking governor the one apparently buying him… telling him who called him in… why give him all of this? Why give him all this information?
He’s too exhausted to try and outthink him. He… just doesn’t get it. He needs three days of sleep and probably some serious medical attention at this point, and he can’t even begin to try and think through this until he gets at least one of those things.
“Already told you, numbnuts.” Everly lets go of him, and Jake breathes a sigh of relief as he steps away. “I’m making you nice and angry. Go on, Jakob Collins Stanton. Go be the face of the fuckin’ movement. I can’t wait to see your fuckin’ dumbshit expressions on TV. Go on, Stanton. Get real… fucking… angry.”
Jake sees the black baton unhooked from the guy’s belt in the corner of his eyes, and his muscles tense, but he doesn’t move.
“Why tell me it was the Governor?” He asks, but the baton is already swinging at his head. When it connects, Jake’s head smacks forward into the metal table, he drops to the ground, and everything goes black.
He wakes up and the metal table and chairs are gone. The TV and its little wheelie tray are gone. The zipties on his wrists are gone and his shoulders scream as he pulls his hands forwards, looking at how deeply the plastic dug in. His head is pounding, throbbing, and he feels even more exhausted than he did before.
He cries, for a while. There’s a cop in the room who doesn’t stop him or help, just kicks a box of Kleenex across the floor.
Eventually they tell him he’s been charged with resisting arrest, but that his bail’s been paid. No one tells him but he sees a calendar on his way out, limping heavily, walking in bloodstained jeans and T-shirt looking like he lost a fuck of a fight, and realizes he’s been here for three days.
Chris has been alone for three days.
Any hint of pain Jake is feeling is washed away by the panic that takes its place. Chris can’t handle being alone that long. He needs touch, needs it, the constant never-ending compulsion for human contact that all of the ones like him have. Who even knows what he’d do - go next door or let anyone who knocked in or, shit, just start testing people, like he does, and that could get him hurt or killed or taken advantage of or-
Unless Nat…
“Uh, um,” Jake stumbles over his words, and the cop glances at him, dismissive. “Natalie… Natalie Yoder. The woman with me. Is, is she… was she let go before me, or…?”
The cop gestures ahead of himself, and Jake raises his eyes to see Nat sitting on a bench with a vaguely familiar man that Jake has never actually spoken to before, although he’s seen him watering flowers outside his yard. He looks like some kind of cowboy.
Natalie looks like hell - rings around her eyes and a few bruises littered across her face - but he can tell he looks worse, because both she and the man who lives across the street from the shelter recoil when they see him.
Natalie jumps to her feet. “Jake, what the hell-”
Jake walks to her, as fast as the cop will let him, and nearly collapses against her, resting his head on her shoulder. She puts one hand up over his hair on the back of his head and the other around him, holding him tightly. “I resisted arrest,” Jake says. “Apparently.”
“Yeah,” Nat murmurs. “Me, too. Jefferson here’s our neighbor, he’s come to take us home.”
“Is… everyone safe, there?” Jake asks, low-voiced, just above a whisper.
“We’ll talk in the car. Come on, we’re all paid up, they’re ready to sign off on us going. I… didn’t know about your dad, Jake.”
Jake stiffens and pulls away from her, looking away. “Yeah, well. I didn’t know about your job history, did I? We both kept secrets.”
There’s a silence, long and uncomfortable, broken only by the sounds of the department around them - people working at computers, talking on phones, chatting over coffee. It makes Jake think of the lawyer in the video, sipping her coffee before they dragged a teenager in to sign his life away, watching with a passive, uncaring expression while they beat his hands with a baton.
“Guess we have some things to talk about in the car on the way home, huh?” Nat says, trying for cheer. When Jake responds with silence, she sighs. “Fair enough. I should have told you.”
“Yeah. You should have. I have some other stuff to tell you, too, about who called-”
“I know,” Nat says, heavily, rubbing at her eye with one fist, looking oddly like an exhausted toddler. “They told me. That landscaping company that works down the street.”
“Wait.” Jake frowns, looks around. No one’s really looking at them, now. “Wait. I got told it was one of my professors.”
“You did?” Nat hesitates. “Then they gave us two different stories, Jake. So… which one is true?”
“If you ask me,” Jefferson says, in a soft, unobtrusive voice, “probably neither of them. Come on, we can continue this little guessing game in my car, yeah? I’ve laid down some towels, I had a feeling you might still be, um… bleeding… like that.”
They leave the police station in silence, Jake sitting in the backseat of Jefferson’s ancient Subaru, beat half to hell but the thing’s still running, somehow. All he can think of is getting home to Chris, keeping his promise.
“Look,” Nat says, after they’ve sat in silence other than Jefferson’s quiet NPR playing from the car’s radio. “When I started the job-”
“Not yet.” Jake cuts her off, and his voice is harsher than he means it to be. His eyes have closed and he’s not sure how he’ll ever open them again. “Chris first.”
“You know, your, um… Chris is really doing fine-” Jefferson starts.
“Don’t care. I don’t want to think about anything else just yet.” Jake’s face throbs. His head feels like it’s stuffed full of cotton dipped in acid. His shoulders ache, his wrists look like they’ve been wrapped in razorwire, one of his ribs is probably bruised, he knows his torso is a fucking mess of black and blue, he’s exhausted and starving and pissed off and all he can think about is that fucking handler saying, go on, Stanton. Get real fucking angry.
What does it mean that they want him to be? And if they gave he and Nat two different stories about who turned them in, which one is true? What if neither of them is? What’s their plan? Or is there one? Maybe they just want him to get paranoid and freaked out, see if he stumbles, fucks it up. Maybe this is all just to get him wondering exactly who is out to get him.
Maybe Everly just thought it’d be fucking funny to get him all worked up.
He can’t think about this now. He’s too tired, he’ll only make the dumbest fucking decisions if he tries.
No, he just…
He just has to get home to Chris.
Keep his promises, first. Figure out everything else after that.
Told you I’d come back for you, man.
Jake thinks of the boy in the video, asking about his Aunt Jo, the look of crumbling sorrow in his face at their reply.
I made a promise to you, and I’m going to keep it.
But I am definitely real fuckin’ angry.
#whump#beating#bruises#institutional brutality#tw: police brutality#kind of#tw: blood#tw: beating#tw: whump of a minor#electric shock#bbu#box boy universe#box boy multiverse#box boy#chris the strawberry blond romantic#jake the shelter guy#natalie yoder: here to help the rescues#karen renford has it coming#institutional whump#tw: institutionalized slavery#tw: violent abuse#tw: violence in response to stimming#dehumanization#pet whump#degrading language#interrogation#angry caretaker#caretaker whumpee#caretaker whumped#defiant whumpee
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13 Cozy and Wonderful Fall Animated Films to Watch This October
+Check out our spooky fall films list at Animationforce.art
1) Fantastic Mr. Fox
This stop-motion animated film is a classic. It’s directed by Wes Anderson and is packed with his charming directorial sense, combined with the master story-weaving of Roald Dahl. It’s filled to the brim with cozy fall vibes, with shades of brown, pine cones and leaves everywhere, and an odd, but endearing fox family fighting to survive. Stream on Disney+.
2) Hotel Transylvania
Another film with a big emphasis on family, all taking place in the iconic hotel. With the friendly and lovable cast of characters, the hotel feels quite cozy, and reminds one of large family reunions. With a cast of monsters, dark evenings, long shadows, and bonfires, you’ll definitely get those autumn feelings. Stream on Hulu.
3) Frozen II
Frozen II definitely sits firmly in that place between summer and winter. It’s getting cold, but until Elsa comes on the scene, there’s not a lot of snow and ice. There are pumpkins, friends running around the woods through piles of leaves, and enjoyable relationship exploration. Stream on Disney+.
4) Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day
The Winnie the Pooh films always have a bit of a fall feel to them. They’re always in the Hundred Acre Wood of course, but in the Blustery Day there is a particular emphasis on falling leaves and the winds that come in late fall. And what’s cozier than Winnie the Pooh and his friends, a crowd of lovable stuffed animals? Stream on Disney+ (as The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh).
5) Scooby-Doo! and the Reluctant Werewolf/Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School
This combo of films brings back your favorite spooky crew, but in much more of a cozy way. From gym teacher to monster rally driver, Shaggy meets plenty of fun monsters in both films. And for more ghoul goodness pair with “The Monster Party” episode of OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes. Rent from your favorite service.
6) Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were Rabbit
Curse of the Were-Rabbit is filled with cozy fall fun. Gloriously realized models of trees in fall bloom, were painstakingly hand crafted for this stop-motion film. The characters and their adventures are so earnest and silly, you can’t help but love them, and getting to know the entire, quaint English town in the midst of its annual vegetable competition really creates a cozy autumn feeling. Rent or buy from Amazon Prime.
7) Brave
A girl dead-set on her freedom, spends tons of time running around in a forest with bears. Combine that with the ridiculous cast of townspeople/Scottish clans she and her family interact with, along with adorable and hilarious triplet younger brothers, and you’ve got a cozy, fall romp. Stream on Disney+.
8) Your Name. (Kimi No Na Wa)
There’s a boy, and there’s a girl, can you guess where this is going? Maybe not, because they keep swapping bodies somehow and having to pretend to be each other. As they get to know each other, by living in each other’s shoes, they just have to meet, but will they? It’s complicated, sweet, cozy, and feels rather seasonal. Rent from Amazon Prime or YouTube.
9) Sleeping Beauty
Another film with lots of forest environments. You can’t help but be in the deep shadow of the woods and feel a wistful longing for fall. The sweetness of Briar Rose and her hope for love, along with the Prince’s devotion, and funny, friendly families just combine for such a cozy feeling. Stream on Disney+.
10) Chicken Run
Another wonderful stop-motion film with lots of browns and grays. Chicken Run comes from the same creators as Wallace & Gromit, but actually came out years before it. You can’t help but feel a sense of camaraderie with these indomitable, noble chickens and their determination to escape their concentration camp life as chickens and not pies. Stream on Hulu.
11) Hoodwinked!
A very cozy film, if a bit dated in the animation look and feel. This early 3D animated film, is a new take, actually several new takes, on the classic story of Red Riding Hood. The comedic exploits of these silly, and lovable characters are sure to get you past the rough edges, for a fun, cozy fall experience. Rent on Amazon Prime.
12) Mary and the Witch’s Flower
A wannabe witch exploring misty woods with a feline best friend. Somehow that leads her to a school of witchcraft? Lots of mystery to unravel here, while this girl fights for her dream and her friends. Stream on Netflix.
13) It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
Purple skies, leaves, pumpkins and friends celebrating the season. This short movie is tailor made for a cozy fall. Gather a few friends together, get your favorite pumpkin flavored drink, maybe have a pumpkin carving party, and throw on this classic! Stream on Apple TV+.
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Best things to do with\for your best friend on this friendship day
Friends are so precious. I mean, there is not a single debate on this topic. Giving them a unique gift is cool but you should also catch up and spend some time together. So, on this friendship day, why don’t we show them how important they actually are?
Here are the few things you can do with\for your best friend on this friendship day
1) Binge watch your favorite series!
How about getting together with some snacks, comfortable pajamas, maybe and spending chill time together binge watching a fun movie or TV series? This is an easy way to spend time together. Just put on Netflix or amazon prime and stream the show together!
Friends, How I met your mother, Harry porter and MCU are my favorites.
2) Explore a new city together
One of the most fun things I’ve done with my best friend has been to explore a new city together. Trying to figure out where you’re on the map, taking a billion photos of yourselves in front of iconic spots, testing new funky restaurants and getting swept up in adventures. What is stopping you from having this experience with your best friend?
3) Going for shopping together
Going shopping together with your best friend has been a popular bonding activity since at least the creation of shopping malls! But because of pandemic you can try online shopping too. You just need a phone with internet connection. Having your best friend there to support and encourage you with buying new outfits. Your good friend is best for telling you what absolutely does not fit you and what you totally should bring home with you. You cannot trust anybody more than him. *wink*
4) Photo session together
A fun way to immortalize your friendship is by taking selfies together. Or you could put on a whole photo shoot with a theme and outfits thought out in advance. Either going for a super silly look or your own fashion photo shoot! Once you have a load of selfies to choose from, print a few of them and form a lovely collage on your bedroom wall.
5) Writing a letter to your best friend
Writing a letter to your best friend? Obviously one of the best idea. Inside the letter you can share why they are important to you and your hopes for your friendship in the future. This is such a meaningful gesture. Also, send a present to your best friend along with that letter.
Unique and creative gift
with a beautiful letter. Buy now and make their friendship day better
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Help Me Escape My Head
(AO3)
After T.K. fails to save a little girl, he begins to spiral. Tempted to abuse substances and not knowing who else to call, T.K. calls Carlos just to feel less alone because he feels like he's losing his mind. All he needs is something to help him escape his mind if only for a night.
Sometimes, the person you set out to save didn’t make it. T.K. knew that, of course, he did, but it didn’t make it any less heart wrenching to feel the life go out of the little girl you’re trying to get away from her burning house. She’d been in her room, shouting to the lavender walls and trying to find the glow in the dark stars on her ceiling through the smoke. She was trapped by the inferno, clutching a raggedy teddy bear that her parents tried and failed to keep clean as the child dragged it with her everywhere. Jenna had been her name. Ducky had been the teddy, T.K. remembered as the thought of Jenna telling Ducky it would be okay looped through his mind. The firefighters will save us, she’d said sounding sure in the way only a six-year-old could. T.K. had swooped her up, trying to keep her calm as he took her from the house. She clutched her teddy bear, promising to save him. I’m here, Ducky, she said, I’m here. Her face was streaked with tears, but she kept herself as calm as she could for the sake of Ducky.
It was terrifying how quickly she had gone from reassuring her teddy bear to being unbearably quiet. Her body became limp against T.K.’s, and the teddy bear dropped from her hands, and T.K. couldn’t resist snatching it before it hit the floor because he knew how sad the child would be without it.
In the end, there was nothing anyone could do to revive her. A little girl was dead, and T.K. couldn’t help but think that it was his fault. He was supposed to save her, and he’d failed. His inability to save her would tear apart that family in ways he couldn’t imagine. The loss left the whole team sullen, but T.K. was crushed. The memory of her dying in his arms was relentless. The rush of saving someone was a high like none other, but losing a child was a crippling low, a low that T.K. didn’t want to face. He wasn’t going to deal with it until later, though. He had a shift to finish.
For the rest of T.K.’s shift, he ignored the feeling of dread building in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t let himself think about what had happened, even though his dad had suggested he head home and take some time for himself. He stubbornly refused and silently did whatever work he could find around the station even if it didn’t need to be done.
He worked out, pushing himself harder than his body could handle. He kept piling on more weight and doing more reps until Judd came rushing in, asking if he was crazy to lift so much without a spotter. T.K. didn’t say anything, and he moved onto the next workout apparatus. He needed to keep busy or he’d lose the semblance of being okay that he’d been clutching onto using denial. As T.K. worked out, Judd wouldn’t budge, hovering with a concerned look in his eyes. When T.K. nearly collapsed from exhaustion, Judd grabbed him by the arm and told him that he’d done enough for the day. T.K. shot him an annoyed look but remained quiet because if he opened his mouth, he’d be an asshole, and he didn’t want to fuck anything else up today.
T.K. pushed past Judd and sat in the quietest corner in the station. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to be talked to. He just wanted to forget. He wanted to sleep and never have to wake up, not in a dying way but in a not having to think kind of way. He was managing to block the memories of the day from his mind, but they lingered like dirt in the shower after having fallen in mud. They twirled and twisted in his head, repeating in maddening versions of the same heartbreaking thoughts.
When T.K. finally went home, Owen had stayed at work to finish up some work because sad or not, he had shit to do. He’d asked if T.K. needed him. Owen would always put his son first, and T.K. knew his dad would drop everything if T.K. asked, but T.K. didn’t want to ask. He wanted to be alone, and he wanted for his brain to stop. With a forced grin, T.K. told his dad that he was fine and went home to spend an evening with his own misery.
So now, T.K. is home alone, feeling an itchy helplessness that makes the urges to get drunk or high go from a dull ache in the back of his mind to a fiery obsession burning through his whole body. He can’t think of anything else, not even the little girl, as thoughts of getting away consume him. It’d be so easy to get drunk and not much harder to get high. A substance would break through the restlessness surging through his body. It would give him something to do when he is so bored and so anxious. But he can’t break his sobriety. His dad already has enough to deal with and T.K. doesn’t want to put himself through that again. He doesn’t want to start from square one. He doesn’t want to disappoint the people who care about him by messing things up as he always does.
He tries distracting himself. He browses Netflix, Hulu, and even Amazon Prime Video for something to keep his mind distant from his troubles, but in the thousands of shows and movies, he can’t seem to find anything that sparks any enthusiasm in him. All the content is gray. Even the colored films seem so black and white.
When television falls through, he tries listening to music, but even then, he changes the song every thirty seconds trying to find one that does something for him. Nothing works and that thought makes him the most hopeless he’s been all evening because he can think of something that always works, something that’s bad for him but something so tantalizing.
He needs to escape his head for a while and shut down, so while T.K.’s brain is still trying to run destructive circles around the memories of the little girl, he forces himself into his bed. He clenches his eyes, hoping that the exhaustion creeping up on his body will allow him to sleep. As visions of smoke, purple walls, and teddy bears creep through his head, his eyes snap open, and he follows the swirls of the ceiling, which is enough to drive him crazy as his hazy mind struggles to keep thoughts compartmentalized. The temptation and the haunting thoughts muddle together in a cloying mix.
T.K. doesn’t think he can take it anymore. He needs a substance, a distraction, an escape. He needs to get out of his head and to stop feeling things so deeply. He doesn’t want to break his sobriety, he reminds himself. In fact, the thought makes him nauseous, but as minutes tick as slowly as hours, he needs to do something because if he doesn’t, he’ll start ruminating to fill the time, and when he starts ruminating, he’ll think of the little girl. He won’t just think of the shadow she left, but he’ll think of the full imprint. Thinking of that, well, it’s not something he can bear, not while he’s in this room alone with a thousand stupid thoughts liable to pop into his head. If he isn’t careful, he won’t survive the night. He’ll do something stupid just because he can’t stand being alert anymore.
He begins to talk to himself, barely letting his voice go above a whisper because he hasn’t heard his own voice in hours. He mutters abstract thoughts until he feels dizzy from looping around what really bothers him. He’s starting to feel detached from his body. It’s not an out of body experience, exactly. He doesn’t feel like he’s looking down on himself, but it’s more like, he’s a tiny person sitting inside his skull in a little control room. He can see everything T.K. sees, but when he looks at his hands or his legs, he doesn’t feel a sense of belonging. He’s just controlling this distant body of someone he’s supposed to know. The darkness looms over him, and the room looks grainy like an old show in 240p.
He flips on the light because the dark makes his heart race and his mind fuzzy. T.K. stands up and looks into the mirror. His eyes are dead. He doesn’t see a human behind them. He certainly doesn’t see a person he recognizes. The features are familiar. He knows them to be his, but they look like a grayscale photocopy. He looks down at his yellow hoodie, and it’s probably the brightest piece of clothing he owns, but even that looks desaturated.
He wonders if he is dead and this is purgatory, and then, the idea won’t leave him alone. He fell out of favor with his religion long ago, but he still wonders if there’s something afterlife. Maybe this is it. You keep living but you’re alone and wandering aimlessly. If this is it, he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like the way coldness fills his body or the hollowness in his chest. He doesn’t think he’s dead, but what if he is?
Maybe getting high could make him feel like himself again, but maybe himself is exactly the person he didn’t want to be.
Something is very wrong with him, he knows. This odd feeling has happened before, but it’s always just as scary. One moment, it is 9:36 and the next it is 9:58. Time is moving erratically languid in one moment and non-existent in the next. He needs to go to sleep. Reset his mind and wake up refreshed tomorrow. Sleep always makes things feel a little better, but T.K. can’t get his mind calm enough for slumber. Sleep requires focus and lasts about ten minutes at most, and T.K. can’t even will himself to turn off the light. He’s terrified of the shadows that the dark will bring.
T.K. hates how vacant he feels. It’s better than thinking about his day, anything is, but it still makes him want to do something. Maybe go out for a run, but he can’t do that because he already worked out so much that he could barely get from his bed to his couch, but he makes the long journey anyway because he needs a change of scenery, even if it isn’t much of a change at all. The walls were still too pale, and the furniture was still too hard and scratchy against his skin, even through his clothes.
He wishes there was someone here that he could talk to or someone who would talk to him. He needs something to tether him to reality and remind him that he still exists. He can’t handle being alone anymore. He needs to see another human, needs to be told he’s still alive. He wants to know that he’s still T.K. He hates himself for needing so much reassurance and for being so needy, but he’ll go crazy without it. He’s a social butterfly. Being alone is crushing.
He should call his dad, but he punches in the number of the one other person in Texas who he’s told about his substance issues. He isn’t sure why he does it. He can’t think of a better way to scare away the guy you’re interested in, but unless he wants to worry his dad, who has enough on his plate, there’s no one else. No one else who he could call without giving his whole stupid backstory, and he doesn’t want to explain about that. He’ll have some explaining to do with Carlos, but at least, he won’t have to start from scratch.
T.K. listens as his phone dials. By the second ring, he is contemplating hanging up, worried about bothering Carlos, but by the time the fifth ring comes, a deep voice hits his ears. “T.K. what’s up?” Carlos’ voice is distant, muffled by a sound that T.K. can’t make out. A T.V. maybe.
“I just thought we could hang out a bit.” T.K. could hear the shakiness in his own voice, and the almost robotic quality to it fit his state of mind.
“Are you at home?” T.K. nodded, not thinking to verbally give an answer. “T.K.?” Carlos asked after a long silence.
“Yeah, I’m here.” He was somewhere, that was for sure, but he didn’t feel like he was where he was supposed to be.
“Are you okay?” Carlos asked, voice startlingly gentle.
“I’m fine,” T.K. insists even though he’s terrified about whatever is happening in his head. He wants to know how to fix it, but he can’t put that on Carlos.
Carlos doesn’t seem to believe him, “Do you need me to call someone? Your dad? I can—”
“No, no. Don’t do that,” T.K. cuts in. “Never mind. Forget I called.”
“It’s okay. I’m glad you called. I’ll be over there as soon as I can, okay?”
“You don’t have to,” T.K. insists.
“I know, but I want to.” T.K. wants to see him too despite the part of him that thought letting someone he liked into his crazy world was stupid.
“Don’t do anything… just stay safe.”
“I’m not going to do anything stupid.”
“I know. I have to hang up now, but I’ll be there soon. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Okay. See you then,” T.K. says before hanging up. He puts his phone beside him and jiggles his foot to release the nervous energy building inside him.
It only took twenty minutes for Carlos to get there, and as he waited, T.K. lost track of time while sitting quietly on the couch, trying to get his mind back to normal. As hear hears a knock at the door, he’s still spaced out, but manages to get up and swing open the door.
“How did you get here so fast?” Carlos’ house is more than twenty minutes away, so he either was speeding a lot or not at home.
“I was out already. With Michelle,” Carlos explained, slightly out of breath.
“You could’ve told me you were busy,” T.K. replies, feeling a flash of anger that is quickly muted.
“I told Michelle it was important. She understands.”
“It wasn’t urgent or anything. I would have understood if you said no.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m not in danger or anything.”
“You don’t sound like yourself. Your voice is flat.”
“It feels like I’m not real, and I want to feel something again.”
“This like when you were at the police station.”
T.K. shakes his head. That had been similar but not the same. “I feel dead, but I’m not, am I?”
Carlos looks up at T.K., brown eyes soft. He puts his hand over T.K.’s, “You’re not.” Carlos swallows. “What do you mean when you say you feel dead?”
Pulling his hand from Carlos’, T.K. wiggled his fingers and flipped his hands over to inspect his palms. “I keep looking at my hands, but they don’t feel like they belong to me. I feel like I’m a ghost.”
Carlos goes silent a moment, searching for the right thing to say. Carlos’ voice is tight and so quiet T.K. isn’t even sure he actually heard it. “Did you take something? We can handle it if you did.”
T.K. shoots up from the couch, “What? No.” He clenches his fists, feeling a defensive pang through the numbness. He’d never hurt Carlos, but as he digs his fingernails into his palms, he feels some release. He can’t feel pain, but he can distantly feel the contact against his skin, which grounds him even when his head is so floaty. “I wouldn’t do that,” he says, pushing his fingernails in further.
Reaching out, Carlos pries each hand open and rubs his callused fingers over the crescent moons indented in T.K.’s hands, and T.K. knows the touch should send a surge of electricity through him. He wishes it could zap him back to life, but it doesn’t. He still feels chilled to the bone. “Okay, I believe you. Please sit down.” Carlos eases T.K. to the couch and wraps a blanket from the back of the couch around T.K.’s shoulders. “You’re shivering.”
T.K. didn’t have the energy to fight. “I wanted to take something. I want to, but I didn’t. I won’t.”
“Is there something I can do to help?” Carlos asks, a helpless expression filling his face.
“Maybe it’s best if I’m alone.” T.K. feels embarrassment redden his cheeks as he thinks about the situation that he’s put himself in. He hates Carlos seeing him like this. He wonders if this is insanity. He’s losing his grip on reality, and he’s letting a hot, sweet, perfect guy watch. No one in their right mind would do that. He must be crazier than he thought.
“Ty, why don’t I just sit here awhile? We don’t have to talk, but I want to make sure you’re okay.”
“You think if you leave, I’ll do something crazy.”
“No, that’s not what I think. I think it sucks to go through a hard time alone.”
“You’re too nice.” T.K. doesn’t feel how stiff his body goes when he realizes that Carlos cares. It doesn’t make sense that anyone unrelated to him could worry about what happens to him.
“T.K., stop.” Carlos’ voice breaks through T.K.’s thoughts.
He feels panicked for a moment. “Stop what?” He can’t think of anything he’s doing wrong. Other than being a general wreck.
“Digging your nails into your palms. You’re doing it again.”
T.K. unclenches his hands. “I didn’t notice.” He looks at his palms and the marks are deeper than they were before.
“You’re bleeding.”
“Barely,” T.K. says and Carlos gets up and grabs a wet washcloth from the bathroom. As Carlos wipes off his hands, T.K. says, “You don’t have to do that. They’re not that bad,” but the water feels good against his skin as it stings and leaves a cool trail of dampness.
“With all the dirt on your fingernails they could get infected.”
T.K. shrugs. “Whatever. I don’t really care either way.” Because he really doesn’t. It doesn’t much matter what happens to him or how he feels. It’s all just a shitty whirlpool of junk that makes him feel like the worst person alive. He could act like a cocky asshole sometimes, but other times, T.K. really hated himself.
“Do you want to talk about what’s wrong?”
T.K. couldn’t help the bitter laugh that came out of him. “I’ve been trying not to think at all.”
“Maybe it’s time to try something new.” Carlos was rubbing circles in his back and running his fingers up and down T.K.’s arm. “You don’t have to say anything, but it might help.”
T.K. sighed. “I just want to sleep and never wake up.”
“T.K….” Carlos’ voice trails off. “That’s worrying to hear.”
“Not like that. I don’t want to… I wouldn’t do that to my dad. I’m not that selfish. I’m just tired. Really tired, too tired to kill myself.” He wasn’t going to do anything drastic, but if he were to be hit by a bus, he wasn’t sure he’d care much.
“Okay, but if you weren’t tired? What would you do then?”
“Nothing. I’m always tired.” And it wasn’t the kind of tired that you could sleep way. It was hardwired in the chemistry of your brain and took a lot of time to change. He’s trying to do better, and he’s going to therapy, but sometimes, he’s still so low. He’s numb and sad and angry and scared. Now, he doesn’t even feel human. He’s just a shadow, trailing behind this empty person he hardly knows, and it sucks. It’s not fair that he’s faded. He’s not a perfect person, he sure isn’t, but he doesn’t know what he did to deserve a brain that doesn’t function as it should. It feels like he’s being punished. He wonders if maybe he’s a shitty person who deserves all the bad and none of the good. He couldn’t save the little girl and maybe it was only just that he was tortured for his failure.
“T.K., do you want to hurt yourself?”
“I’m in therapy.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“I’m having a bad night. I’m not like this all the time. Sometimes, I have a personality, but other times, I’m a waste of space.”
“You’re never a waste of space.”
“I let a little girl die today.”
“What happened?”
“I didn’t get to her soon enough. The smoke inhalation killed her.” T.K.’s voice is clipped. He doesn’t want to talk about it, but he couldn’t stop the words from rolling off his tongue.
“It wasn’t your fault. We do the best we can to save lives, but we’re not gods. We can’t control who lives and dies. We can only do as much as we can to push for life.”
“She died in my arms.”
“That’s awful. I’m sorry that happened.”
“It’s not fair that she died, and I lived.” She was just a child. Young and precocious, clutching her teddy bear with such tenderness. T.K. can’t remember ever being that innocent. Maybe there had always been darkness inside him.
“I’m not sure—”
“I’ve been given too many chances while people who deserve them more don’t get them. I’m an addict and a basket case. I can’t handle the shit life throws my way. Yet, I’m still here. I’m a shell of a person, but I’m here. I feel dead, but I’m here. I can’t even do my job properly, but I’m here.”
“You deserve a life, Tyler.”
“So, did she!” T.K. would trade his own life in a heartbeat just to ensure that little girl could live one day more.
“I know. No kid should die. It’s awful when we can’t keep kids safe. But I need you to know that you deserve to be alive.”
T.K. looked down at his hands. “You don’t know me that well.”
“I know enough. I know you’d do anything for the people you love. I know you go out of your way to brighten other people’s days even when yours is shitty. I know you want everyone to feel okay being themselves. You don’t have to dig very far to see that you’re a guy who loves love. You’re the kind of person that people want to be around. You’d be so missed if you weren’t here.”
“Shut up.”
“What can’t take a compliment?” Carlos teases, cracking a smile.
T.K. can’t help the grin that comes upon his face or the tears that brim in his eyes. “I don’t know why you’re so nice to me.”
“Did you not hear my speech? I don’t remember verbatim what I said, so if you didn’t hear it, I guess I’ll just have to think up some more reasons I think you’re great. The list could get pretty long.”
T.K. laughs, “Please don’t. I can’t take more compliments. My head will grow too big.”
“Fine. I’ll save them for later,” Carlos replied.
T.K. dropped his head on Carlos’ shoulder and the smell of cologne broke through his clogged senses. The world was still bleary, but hints of color were beginning to poke their heads through the gray. Carlos couldn’t make T.K. better. He couldn’t fix the miswiring of T.K.’s mind. He couldn’t save T.K. from himself, but Carlos is here. He’s present, and T.K.’s mind feels less heavy as he lets the weight of it fall on Carlos’ shoulder. It’s a relief to heat the soft breathing of Carlos and to feel the softness of his blue t-shirt. Mostly, it’s nice to be grounded.
“Thanks for being here,” T.K. says and his voice is quiet but doesn’t quiver.
Carlos presses his lips to T.K.’s forehead. “I’ll be here whenever you need me.”
“Let’s hope I don’t need you too much,” T.K. says, “but I think I might want you around a lot more.” He’s not ready for commitment. His life is still too chaotic for that, but he wants Carlos near him. He wants to someday feel ready to open his whole heart. Maybe that day isn’t today, but there’s a chance that tomorrow will be less blurry, less sad, less hopeless. Tomorrow might be better, and for now, that’ll have to be enough. Someday, a tomorrow will be good.
#tarlos fic#911 lone star#911 lone star fic#taros#tk strand#carlos reyes#my writing#Elise Writes#my fics#Season 1
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Opening the door to get out of the car, Chaeyoung sighed. Her and Sana had spent at least 20 minutes sitting in the car just talking after dinner. She was about to bid Sana farewell and close the car door, when she had to put up the offer.
Chaeyoung leaned down so Sana was back in her line of sight. “Hey, so, I don’t have work tomorrow and I don’t think you do either. If you want, you can come up to my apartment and we can watch a movie before you go home?” She bit the inside of her lip.
Sana’s face immediately lit up. “I would love to!” She shut off the engine, hopping out and locking it up before following Chaeyoung into the apartment complex. When they made it to Chaeyoung’s door, the younger got a sudden wave of nerves, putting her key in the lock and turning it.
“Welcome to my humble abode!” She led Sana inside. “This is the living room and kitchen.” She pointed to two doors just past the living room. “The room on the left is my bedroom and the one on the right is the bathroom, just in case you need to use it.”
“Wow! It’s so cozy.” Sana removed her shoes when she saw Chaeyoung do the same, exploring a little further. “The atmosphere is so warm and inviting, I love it!”
“Thank you. I like my space to feel like home, regardless of how cheap the apartment is.” She chuckled, leading Sana to the couch. “Do you want anything to eat or drink? Maybe I can get you some comfy clothes to watch the movie in? You can change back before you go home.”
“I’m good as far as food and drink, but I think I’ll take you up on your clothes offer.” She sat down on the couch.
“Okay! I’ll grab you some clothes and change myself. You can change in the bathroom.” Chaeyoung quickly fetched some lounge clothes, bringing them out to Sana before going back and changing into some gray sweatpants and a black tank top.
Sitting down on the couch, she grabbed the remote and began browsing Netflix for a good movie. When she heard the bathroom door open, it was instinct to look, so used to being alone in the apartment. When she saw Sana leave the bathroom, a little hop in her step, the thought from earlier returned with great fondness: "Cute."
"Find anything good yet?" Sana sat down on the couch next to the younger, scooting slightly closer every second.
"I wasn't sure what kind of movies you like, so no. Is there anything in particular you want to watch? If it's not on Netflix, I can rent it."
“Oh! Can we watch Aquaman? I’ve watched it a lot already, but I love that movie.” Chaeyoung chuckled at the girl’s enthusiasm, nodding and going to Amazon Prime to rent the movie.
“Are you sure you don’t want any snacks?”
“I’m sure, I already have you.” Sana playfully winked, laughing when she saw Chaeyoung getting flustered. Chuckling nervously, she tried to get comfortable on the couch, tensing up when Sana didn’t hesitate to lay her head on her shoulder. Honestly, Chaeyoung could get used to this.
About a half an hour into the movie, Chaeyoung shifted to get more comfortable, causing Sana to do the same. “Everything okay?” Sana looked up from Chaeyoung’s shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m f-,” Chaeyoung stopped mid-sentence, taken aback when she looked into Sana’s eyes. She was so close, the younger couldn’t help but admire her features. “Fine.” Her voice was softer, eyes drifting slowly toward Sana’s lips. They just looks so perfect and soft. What would they feel like against her own?
Perhaps she wouldn’t have to wait long, watching nervously as Sana was seemingly drifting closer. Feeling a sudden burst of confidence, Chaeyoung reached up, brushing some hair out of Sana’s face before resting her hand on the side of her neck. Slowly, she pulled Sana closer, watching her eyes flutter shut.
Finally, their lips met and Chaeyoung let her eyes close. It was even better than she imagined. Sana’s lips were unbelievably soft and somehow tasted like peaches. It was amazing, but what really surprised Chaeyoung was the soft whimper Sana let out the second their lips met. Her entire body was on fire.
Sana’s hand move to rest on Chaeyoung abdomen, lightly gripping her tank top to ground herself. It had been awhile since she had been intimate with someone and she was getting worked up far too fast.
As Sana’s hand came up to rest on Chaeyoung’s shoulder, Chaeyoung’s drifted to the former’s hip. Unexpectedly, Sana nibbled on the younger’s bottom lip as if to ask if she could deepen the kiss. Chaeyoung gladly opened her mouth. Sana responded by swinging her leg over Chaeyoung’s lap.
Unable to stop herself, Chaeyoung moaned into the kiss, hands running up and down Sana’s thighs to her hips. The older woman pulled away from the kiss breathlessly, not wasting a single second before attaching her lips to Chaeyoung’s neck. Lightly nibbling, she began leaving light kisses up and down the column of her neck.
Grinning, Chaeyoung hesitantly moved her hands to Sana’s ass, slightly squeezing as a way to tell her not to stop. Sana felt brave and suckled on the skin to leave a few hickeys, getting rougher as she went and leaving darker marks as a result.
“Mmm~ Sana~” Chaeyoung gave up being shy. Everything was flooding her senses with pure lust, no longer permitting her a filter. The girl on top of her whimpered into her neck, kissing back up to her lips.
The kiss didn’t last long before Chaeyoung began leaving some marks of her own in the form of huge purple and red hickeys along Sana’s lower neck onto her shoulder. “Chaeyoung~ please,” Sana whined, grinding her hips on the younger’s lap to let her know what she wanted.
Chaeyoung felt heat rush to her pants, reluctantly pulling away. “Sana...maybe we should cool down?” She saw panic cross Sana’s face and quickly rushed to explain. “It’s just...I really like you. I don’t want to mess anything up or rush into things. Believe me...that was amazing, and I’m certainly down to do it again, I just want to get to know you better before going further. Is that alright?”
Sana smiled warmly, sighing and placing a soft kiss on the tip of Chaeyoung’s nose. “You’re sweet,” she chuckled, “and a lot different from other people I’ve gone out with.”
“I hope that’s a good thing,” she awkwardly laughed.
“Oh, for sure.” Sana got of Chaeyoung’s lap, about to settle back where she previously was when the latter moved to lay down. Sana shot her a puzzled look.
“Do you wanna cuddle?” Despite knowing Sana was certainly the type of person to jump at the chance to cuddle, she was still nervous. That quickly washed away when Sana lit up, crawling on top of Chaeyoung, settling between her legs with her head on her chest. Chaeyoung sighed happily, relaxing and bringing her hand up to stroke Sana’s hair and back. “Cute,” she said, as always, under her breath. This time, though, Sana heard it, smiling and nuzzling into Chaeyoung to get comfortable.
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Lockdown Diary Part 2
A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.
23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.
Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.
Day 31: I went to Tesco’s at Hampton at @8pm. It was weird. But I made it less weird by buying (amongst all the legit stuff I needed and some stuff for Karen’s mum) more booze. I have, atm about 30 assorted cans and 60 assorted bottles. I’m gonna stop buying booze now until I’m down to the last dozen. I don’t want owt to happen and I leave many behind!
Day 32: More than a calender month! I was rung up by a recruitment agent today about a contract with DHL as a remote support engineer to their aviation section. €400 a day! I’ve applied.
Few beers tonight, watching a new Netflix release (Extraction) and catching up with Fog, Ham, Andy and Rog later at 10:30pm - yikes, might be pissed.
Day 33: Typing this on day 34. Dossed around during the day, few beers and another video call with fog, Ham and Rig plus I invited John Monk along. He was his usual self and signed off from the call with a moonie!
Later on I had the pleasure of Scottish Louise video calling me! She was pissed, in her shed drinking den at her home with some neighbour called Ronnie and her daughter Ellie. She was her usual outrageous self who imaprted such gems as “Tim, you look old” and “Roger on coke is the only time I’ve taken it up the arse”. Nice.
Day 34: Today I skyped Laurie and ‘met’ Matthew and Nicholas for the first time. It was bloody fantatsic. Janine was there as well.I cannot believe it takes lockdown (plus an idea to get Laurie to add me to his regular Monday skype chat with Dad) that managed to get us doing something that should have happened years ago!
It was so great to talk to them all face-to-face. Janine hasn’t changed a bit, Matthew is very quiet with Nicholas being the more gregorious twin. And Laurie is still Laurie. I’m reminded of how much I sort of miss him! It was all so comfortable. I loved it!
Tomorrow is Dad’s 85th hence the 3-way chat idea. I hope it comes off!
Day 35: So dad and Laurie and I skyped. It was OK but my video feed was very dark, (still dunno why) and Lauire’s kept freezing. I dropped out so as to leave them to it, my thinking being the extra person takes up bandwidth, with the promise I’d call dad later. Before I could, Rita called me and suggested Dad and I skype, which we did.
So, all in all, a good day of comms! And Dad seems his happy usual self - 85 years old! Amazing.
Day 36: I am really struggling to motivate myself this week. Today, I’ve done fuck all of note. That is all.
Day 37: A similar day to yesterday. All I have really managed to do is lay down audio from Pink Floyd (Absolutely Curtains) to a video I shot of a cow on yesterday’s walk. I am having a downer of a week without any good reason why, ld aside.
I have worn my new walking boots today (’cos my old ones are leaking, I found out yesterday) and they fucking hurt, despite having tried to wear them in for months, albeit pathetically.
Also, a few days ago (Friday 24th April), I got notification from HM Revenue & Customs that I’m getting tax rebate (from 2018-19) of £392. Yay!
Day 38: I received notification today that I’ve got a speeding ticket…last Thursday back from Tesco’s - 87mph somewhere between the A1 and Elton. I am hoping it’s a fixed penalty. I dunno whether it is yet, I just have to send the form off confirming it’s my car and I was driving.
I spoke with Lynda from Woodfords asking her to ask for a rent reduction before I sign for another year. Plus, I let her know that I will be Howard and Sue’s eyes as the look at rental properties in Oundle - I do hope they return although it would be a shame for them that their plans have been scuppered (she’s lost her job in Oz due to Covid-19)
Day 39: Today I started another piece of exercise - up and down the stairs 26 times. Not sure why 26 - it was some thing online to do with the London Marathon, I think. It fucking killed. I used 13 clothes pegs for a counting system.
I asked Karen to pick up some stuff when she was shopping (burgers, radishes) - Dan dropped them off, He was with Shaggy (driving his van) and going to see Jonah. That pisses me off - they should be social distancing, ffs.
Discoevered, today, that Cornershop, post-Brinful are fucking excellent. listening to the album ‘England is a Garden’ as I type.
Day 40: That 26 times up and down the stairs is fucking hard. I did videos about it today. My legs are aching like fuck right now.
Day 41: Just done Young Sam’s (Sam Clews) quiz. 3rd week running and it’s now become a habit and something I look forward to. Out of all the internet driven socialising I’m undertaking in ld, this is the weirdest - I feel totally detatched from all others taking part but, now, would feel pissed off if I didn’t or couldn’t join in. I got 47/70 this week. My best score and only about 8 off the winning score - most others aren’t doing it on their own!
Today’s walk was a cloudy one - I captured some fine, dramatic pics of the clouds. I am getting into this photography lark, albeit very amateurish. But, when I post any pics online (mostly FB), they seem to be widely appreciated, which is nice.
Day 42: Applied for a remote service delivery job with a firm called TTEC. £60k.
Finished watching The Outsider. The creepiest TV show I have seen in years. Really great use of background music.
Day 43: Finished Mindhunter S2 last night. It’s so good but I cannot quite put my finger on why. Today has been a nothing day apart from day 2 of me not typing the letter ‘e’ in any post or comments on FB for a week. It’s hard.
Day 44: Watch Anna last night. A Luc Besson film that starts a kick-ass suprermodel. It’s right down my street. Today I have been lazy af. I need to pick up my online learning again…tomorrow, maybe!
I watched Andy Murray Resurfacing. A documentary on Amazon. Fantastic. What a top man he is. Completely human and completely inhuman!
Day 45: Much talk in the news of possible lockdown relaxation. I am off the opinion we should stay the course until we are completely assured of beathing this thing i.e. a working, widely available vaccine.
Dad and I Skyped - he is doing well, as usual. So is Rita. They both seem very happy in lockdown!
Today has been a glorious day, weather wise. I had my walkk at 10ish this morming and it was very warm. Hottest day of the year so far I reckon.
Day 46: Bank holiday Friday (75th anniversary of VE day). Nice walk. Chat with Karen letting her know about being caught speeding just in case I am banned and need some out of town shopping. Watched second episode of DEVS by Alex Garland. It’s good and intriguing. Now, @7pm, gonna eat and hit the beers and smokes.
Day 47: Typing this at 15:45 on day 48. I had lots of beers and a good old chat with Rog…
Day 48: Today’s daily press conference was eagerly anticipated today with rumours of a relaxation in lockdown. It seems it was a fuss about nothing with no clear instructions - I didn’t watch it but, skimming the BBC news site, I shan’t be doing anything different over the next few weeks, not that I would anyway - furlough and self isolation are the order of the day and I won’t change that until I am sure it’s safe. Meanwhile people, including Danny flaunt the rules, it’s been pointed out to me plus I know he spends time with Jonah and Marc. It really fucks me off. So, the actions of the few mean I will lock myself down for as long, if not longer, as it takes.
Attended Sam Clews quiz again. It passes the time. Also, I had half a scotch bonnet chilli with tea tonight (roasted veg, cous cous and sausages). Ridiculously hot!
Day 49: Received the speaker I ordered a few days ago (from eBay). It’s an AudioPro Addon T10. I got it for a very reasonable price from a German shop. As a result, the power lead isn;t three pin and that has seriously fucked me right off!
Meanwhile, I did my 26 stair climb before my daily walk today. It was easier than usual (surprise surprise) and I did 7km - but that was tough!
‘Cos I am on (yet another) free trial of Amazon Prime, I am ramping up watching stuff available. Last night I watched Booksmart - really nice little film with a great soundtrack. I am listening to Dan the Automater as I type. Today I watched half (3 eps) of The Night Manager and the film ‘The Founder’. The former is a superb series, the latter an OK film about Ray Kroc - the supposed founder of McDonald’s. Except he wasn’t; he was the wrong side of ambitious and a cunt.
Day 50: Stripped the 2 pin cable from the speaker I received yesterday and wired up a 3 pin plug and it worked. Win. And it sounds great. Win-win.
Went to go shopping in Hampton but the car wouldn’t start. Loss. But it was the battery so I managed to borrow Karen’s jump starter which worked. Win.
Spent £107. Loss. But just under £40 was booze plus £10 for two big pizzas, two sides (dirty fries) and some dips. Win.
Didn’t do any online learning - seriously fucking letting myself down. Loss.
Did my usual walking and 26 stair climb. The latter is hard but defo getting easier. Win.
Day 51: Sam’s 51st birthday on day 51 - coincidence! Today I received my face mask from Lou - House of Stewart tartan. I’m pleased with it and that I have got a mask now. I managed to get up at a reasonable hour, just left 09:00, and revisit my web design course. Module 1, lesson 5 and I am fucking stuck. Trying to code an online CV with a side nav bar and I cannot get it to fucking work. Grrrrrr.
Later, i got into a FB dispute (easily distracted due to the above) with someone over his statement of fact (Tim Martin’s treatment of Whetherspoons’ employees) when he doesn’t know it’s fact. It probably is, but that is not the fucking point. I wish I could leave these sort of spats alone.
I am drinking, at 20:45, peppermint tea as I type. Jeez, what’s happened to me?
Day 52: Well, last night took a swift chnage. Rog message me and, to cut a long story short, I hit the beers, also called Foggy later, got trashed. I got up today at gone 1pm.
Sam posted on fb that Paul had forgort her birthday yesterday. Oh dear!
The 26 stair climb and walking each day is noticeable for how knackered my legs feel all the time, I noticed today!
Day 53: My birthday!
Nice comments and banter of FB. Rachael brought round a bottle of whisky; gobsmacked. Karen popped round some beers and sausage rolls. Sam sent a card, as did dad with a £50 cheque. Dan’s ordering me a pizza later.
Chuffed!
Day 54: I went to bed late after a lot of beers, huge pizza and chips, a few smokes and a long call with WWJ and video chats with Fog then Rog. Got up around 1pm and dossed with my usual exercises and I made fish pie with a scotch bonnet.
Day 55: Late one last night but up early today (11ish). Really fretting about hospital tomorrow. Nervous anyway but the safety aspect, in terms of Covid-19, isn’t helping.
Day 56: Hospital appointment was just for an eye scan so the consultant can review it. I was very surprised to see how few people were wearing face masks!
I did two lots of washing today. (After the hospital) I went to Morrsions, Asda (queue too long though), B&M (queue too long though) then Tesco’s. All to buy a baseball cap ‘cos I’m fucked if I’m going to wet my hair each time I go out and want it to look presentable! In Morrsions (no mens’ clothing apart from underwear!) I stocked up of 10 cans of sugarfree apple Caraboa….I was only thinking of this drink just the other day.
Yesterday I finished The Night Manager on Amazon. I liked it a lot but, also, expected much, much more from it consdiering the hype. Hugh Laurie has come a long way from comedy sketches with Stephen Fry!
Day 57:Received an email from Sueanne yesterday asking ( as designated spokesperson for everyone) how I am. The most interestring piece of news in a rather uninformative email was that the US has started to open resorts!
Day 58: I am writing this on Day 59. I started a two walk a day regime. The first walk I do is shorter, around 4km. my aim is to be ready for 1,000,000 steps Diabetic UK challenge (throughout July, August and September). I need to do just under 11,000 steps a day. The relaxation in ld rules makes this achievable.
On that score, I am allowed to visit a friend’s house, as long as it’s just the two of us, outside, 2m apart. I went round Karen’s last night. I was desperate to have a Happy Hour (I allow myself a midweek beer - today (well, yesterday) is/was Wednesday!) of sorts with another human (rather than a video chat). I was there for about 2 hours, very enjoyable, and then came home. Then I had usual roasted veg with rice and sausages but I couldn’t eat it. I used half a scotch bonnet rather than the usual birdeye chillis. It was too hot, had to sling it! Had a few more beers and, hence, neglected my diary duties!
Day 59: It’s 01:20am. I don’t know why I am still awake and up, but I am. But, also, I am now going to bed. Nothing else to report, really.
Day 60: Half way through 12 weeks furlough. I was discussing this with Dad and Rita earlier - I am expecting that, at the end of 12 weeks, I’ll be laid off. I hope I’m wrong but I reckon it’s well on the cards. Off to have a beer round Karen’s in a sec which will be pleasant. Just a hour or so. It’s fucking windy today so I shall wrap up!
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