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alienpossession · 4 months

Text

Prologue of my own take for this alien story by @apushforfolly

A little bit connected to @fullfriendnerdpurse story because imagine how convenient that he used the guy I planned to use on one of his alien story, and I linked it to my early caption too that you'll find later below. Kudos to @cleanstatevessels for bugging me consistently (LOL) to fulfill my promise

Sander van Broek is a Dutch fitness model and businessman. He's a rather established name in the fitness industry and that caused him to frequently fly all over the globe for fitness expo and bodybuilding meet where he will meet old friends, build new business and personal network or sometimes speak as a panel for his experience. Due to that, Dubai become a very sensible choice of residence for him because it's practically a global hub nowadays, and he's more than lucky to have some people he knows that can show him good places to rent

Sander knew Andrei from a couple years ago as fellow fitness enthusiast. They were cordial at first, but similar type of jokes and life mindset eventually bonded the two men and they've been close friends ever since. Andrei conveniently also worked as a realtor, guess his easy-going personality and charming look proven to be helpful to close deals with the rich and wealthy. Not to mention that he's a polyglot, capable to speak Romanian (his native tongue), Spanish (his girlfriend's native tongue and still part of broader Romance language), French, Russian (language spoken by his boss in the real estate firm), English and Arabic, making him probably a great asset to attract international clientele. All the places he shown were remarkable and located in great spots, but Sander felt the prices to be a bit steep.

"Crazy view, eh? This place gets both of the best sight, and the way this room perfectly captured the sunrise and sunset, perfect righr?"

"Certainly yeah. But again, this is like the 5th place you shown me to be above my budget. I have money, but I don't think I wanna blow it for rent,"

"No worries, price is pretty much negotiable, you know. Let's talk about it while drinking in my office, shall we? We're done looking anyway,"

"How negotiable are we talking about here?"

"You'll be surprised," said Andrei with a smirk, grabbing his Ferrari key and ready to leave the unit with Sander following him closely right behind him

When they arrived in the towering glass skyscraper, Sander cannot help but look upward until his eyes blinded by the sun. Dutch might be the tallest people on Earth, but there's no such tall building in the Netherlands, that's for sure. Andrei tossed his key to the valet and strut to the lobby with confidence in his step, everyone seemed to know him just by looking at him. Well, not like you can ignore a presence like Andrei anyway, he just demanded such attention to every spaces he walked into. As the elevator flies through the floor, he just hummed casually while Sander still marveled at the whole bunch of floors they passed through and how far they are already from the ground within seconds. As the elevator dings at the 66th floor, it opens to a short hallway with lobby in the end of it. The two receptionist greeted Andrei and Sander warmly and as he stepped through the lobby area, the door behind him closed

"That's just the way it is. Don't be afraid hahah,"

"Just surprised on how loud it was, that's all,"

"Okay, you go to the 2nd room after you take left, okay? I'll be there in a sec, gotta talk to boss,"

"Sure thing,"

"Oh, and by the way, what do you want to drink?"

"Anything is fine actually. Just don't get me too drunk, we're still talking about apartment,"

"Okay, as you wished. Just wait for a sec, okay?"

"Sure bro,"

So Sander fidgeted rather awkwardly in the dimly-lit room all by himself, waiting for Andrei to come back. So that's the boss? Piotr something? Sander saw a glimpse of a man with traditional white Arab headdress, the guy is massive and he seemed like a rather stern boss. Is that guy the Russian's counterpart? He's pretty sure he heard Andrei said his boss is Russian, but that one clearly seemed like an Arab and he's pretty sure he read that "Piotr" is the one written in the gold plaque attached to the slightly opened door earlier

---

"Frankie, how's Piotr doing?"

"Still not awake and no response from his body, my Prince. Just very tense and excessively sweating. Probably the slug still trying to wrestle the control over," said the nerd from a hidden office suite right behind the bookshelves within the CEO room

"You see, Andrei? I told you, some of these guys are just not that easy to be taken over. It's beginner's luck that you got someone as massive as him as your vessel," said the Prince from his chair

"Well, clearly Piotr was not easy to be taken over. For starter, he doesn't even understand what the fuck you are saying since he only speaks Russian and here you are prancing as an Arabic prince, and two, I told you I'll take care of him. He trusted Andrei, trust means easier takeover as they won't raise their guard or being too defensive,"

"Show me then. I see you bring a fella earlier. Show me how much "trust" will help you take that guy over. I check his profile, seemed interesting,"

"Pffft, you're underestimating me, Prince Hamid. You see......*take a bottle of wine from one of the small cellar in the CEO room* *take his shorts down* *painted the glass with his black slug* it won't even take more than 5 minutes and he'll be under my control. You'll give that body up to me and the chain of command, including the fate of that dweeb, if I can prove it to you how well my method works," Andrei said as he poured the red wine into the slug-stained glass. The slug camouflaged itself by changing its color and texture to match the wine's depth of color. Mere seconds later and it seemed like it's always been red wine and nothing else ever added there.

"And if you failed?" the prince smirked

"I'll let that nerdy friend of yours used me as he pleased," Andrei hissed while looking at the nerd with disgusted look as the nerd tended to his passed out boss

"Deal. I'm inside a Prince for a reason, young man. I know what I'm doing,"

"Yeah, he's in the middle of a climax when you shot yourself into his asshole. It's not like he can fight you, he's spent. And you got that nerd helping you. Me getting inside of Andrei might be luck, but the rest of those folks you met, the people I takeover, all taken over smoothly because they never thought their own realtor turned out to be something out of this world and all of those process were hella smoother than my first takeover of this stud," Andrei said as he wipes the remnant of the cum-slug in his piss slit with his fingers, give it a delightful lick before putting on his pants back. He then strut to his office to seal the whole deal with his so-called "friend" while the Prince followed him with some distance.

----

"Hey there, sorry. Searched for some of the documents first and talked with the boss about work," said Andrei as he barged into the room where Sander already waited for him

"That's okay, is that for me?" Sander asked, his eyes eyeing the glass of wine Andrei held alongside the bottle and some papers in his other hand

"Oh yeah, for you. Sorry about that," said Andrei, a little bit forgetful about his sole goal as he played Andrei a bit too realistic sometimes while he handed over the wine glass

But instead of directly drinking it, Sander just simply put the glass on the table, which trigger raised eyebrow from Andrei

"You don't want to drink first?"

"Oh no, let's hear first about those units, and maybe if we reached a deal, I'll drink,"

"Ahh....okay *internally cursing Sander*. If that's what you want. So, basically, you can get those units with half of their prices, max,"

"What? Half?! That's so great, how the hell that happened?"

"I told them you're going to be a long-term tenant and with your job, they probably won't have to worry about the payment and all. Just basically convinced them, you know,"

"Are you playing with me right now? Is there something I have to do for them or anything? Half is crazy, bro,"

"No, I'm serious. But yeah, they wanted something. Nothing nefarious or anything, the owner of the last unit just wanted you to help by personally training their son," Andrei said, trying to hide his grin from Sander by turning his back to him and acting busy in his table

"Really? That simple? Huh well, cheers to that then," he said, instantly taking a gulp of the wine in one go due to his excitement

Not even 5 seconds later, the glass dropped to the floor as Sander's body instantly having a massive seizure. His eyes fluttered and mouth foaming like crazy as his body wriggled like a seaweed, flailing here and there purely moved by the spasm of his own body. The Prince steps into the room with his timer recorded 0:25 seconds left. Upon witnessing the state of the man he saw walked earlier, he smirked because there's no way this guy would be back to normal within seconds! But, in a plot twist the Prince didn't see coming, Sander instantly groaned when the timer left 0:08 seconds as he then stabilized and start taking normal, paused breath.

"You thought I'll fail, huh?"

The Prince just seethed in anger. The timer stops at 0:02 seconds, but promise is a promise so a black, oil-like slug gets out from the Prince's ear and then slide off to the floor. It purred upon meeting another slug that came from inside Andrei's body before heading to their respective new vessel. As both men cracked their neck upon the alien entering their brain, Sander murmured

"This guy really didn't see it coming. He simply thought he's going to die or something, that's all what I gathered from his final memory. The burst almost caused his clothes to torn apart by the way, he really likes tight clothing," He said while trying to assess and fix his tight shirt that enveloped his muscular virile form

"Well, the rest of his memories will be accessible to you for the next couple hours so you can lounge around if you want. But yeah, as I said, the owner of the unit wanted you to train their eldest son. Of course the owner is also one of us, but I guess he has that attachment issue to his human vessel or something, some of the team are watching him closely to ensure that he can serve in full capacity or else we will just abandon that old fit man. But in the meantime, I'm the one tasked to ensure we also convert his eldest son. He's based in UK, but he'll move to Dubai in the next few weeks. Since I'm no longer Andrei, you'll do the job alongside Sander, is that clear?" said the alien formerly inside Andrei that now comfortably reside inside the authoritative Prince

Both Sander and Andrei just nodded and said "okay" slowly, one still trying to adjust to a new life with a vessel and the other one still dejected that he just lost a nobility's physique. But not like any of them can say no, they understand that their mission is important to the cause.

"And now, I'm going to leave this premise and contacted HQ for update about our changes. And, let's not try to make my father's suspicious that his youngest Prince went missing for long period of time with no possible info on his whereabouts, don't want to make that old man worried sick. Let's update each other's progress a month from now, hopefully by then you two and Piotr plus the nerd have more progress in branching out, I'm the Prince after all, yall report to me,"

----

"So Mike, how do you like this condo? Your father told us to take good care of it for you. Or you want to look at some spaces to rent on your own?" said Andrei and Sander to the oblivious Mike, not knowing the fate that awaits him.....

#alien possession #male possession #alien expansion #alien takeover #alien transference #male puppet

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pesterloglog · 5 months

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John Egbert, Jade Harley, Jaspersprite

Act 6, page 5283-5307

JOHN: jade...

JADE: hm?

JOHN: i think i just realized something.

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS!!!

JADE: whaaat

JADE: but you love this movie!

JOHN: yeah, i know.

JOHN: i mean... i thought i did.

JOHN: it's been kind of a long time since i last saw it. i really remember it being a lot better than this!

JOHN: but now everything just seems so cheesy and stupid.

JADE: but you were making such a big deal about finally getting me to watch it with you on your birthday!

JADE: you were going on and on about how i wouldnt be disappointed... but now youre saying you dont like it?

JOHN: i don't know. i'm trying to like it. i WANT to like it.

JOHN: i want to feel the same magic that was there all the other times i watched it.

JOHN: but i can't, because...

JOHN: it's just...

JOHN: not...

JOHN: good. :(

JADE: really?

JADE: i was actually kind of enjoying it!

JADE: its very silly

JADE: i really dont think its the kind of movie youre supposed to take all that seriously john

JOHN: but i DID take it seriously!!!

JOHN: i guess maybe that's kind of the point.

JOHN: i always thought all this hokey bullshit was legitimately awesome and compelling.

JOHN: what was i even thinking!

JADE: i dunno....

JADE: but people can change their minds about things

JADE: i think youre allowed to change your mind about a silly movie

JADE: i used to LOVE the squiddles show when i was really young

JADE: but as i got older i started to realize it wasnt as great as i thought it was

JADE: i was just too young to see how it was actually a flagrant vehicle for selling merchandise

JADE: and if you believed the conspiracy theorists it might have even been pushing some other dark hidden agendas.....

JADE: so i stopped liking the show itself as much but that didnt change the fact that i had a lot of fond memories about it

JADE: i still loved all the cute characters and could enjoy it on a nostalgic level

JOHN: well, maybe later i'll be able to rekindle some nostalgic feelings about it.

JOHN: but right now, i just feel like a dope for talking this up so hard.

JADE: what is even the problem with it?

JADE: ive just been watching this and thinking, yup, i can see why john was so obsessed with this movie...

JADE: its funny!

JOHN: it's just non stop terrible action movie cliches!

JOHN: look.

JOHN: i love nic cage. he is basically my hero, ok?

JOHN: but i'm kind of just realizing now that he is EMBARRASSINGLY BAD in this movie!

JOHN: he is just doing this corny parody of a southern guy who is down on his luck, and acts "charming" with his goofy accent and stuff.

JOHN: some things i used to think were so badass are just coming off as ridiculous now.

JOHN: can you believe that one time we were watching this movie, when he said "put the bunny back in the box" i actually high fived my dad?

JOHN: this time that line just made me roll my eyes.

JOHN: there's so much crappy dialogue!

JOHN: "cyrus, this is your barbecue, and it tastes good..." arrgh!

JADE: but he was trying to sound like a hardened criminal to win the trust of john malkovich!

JOHN: jade, please. it was a cheesy line, don't be so naive.

JADE: what!!

JADE: you spent your whole life worshiping this dumb movie and now youre calling ME naive????

JOHN: ok, i'm sorry. i guess in fairness to you, you have only just begun to climb the steep learning curve of this vexing and hypnotic film.

JOHN: but i am no longer bound by its spell, jade.

JADE: oh god

JADE: vexing and hypnotic??

JADE: its a movie full of explosions about a guy with a mullet

JADE: what is with you lately? you seem to be in such a crappy mood these days

JOHN: i am fine. this MOVIE is what's crappy these days.

JADE: oh bluh bluh

JADE: can we just finish the rest of the movie?

JADE: look you made us miss a whole bunch of stuff!

JADE: hang on im going to rewind it...

JOHN: who even cares what we missed.

JOHN: just cameron stupid poe in his idiot wife beater babbling some more southern home spun heroic nonsense.

JOHN: heart of gold my ass!!!!!

JOHN: everything dave ever said about this movie was right! i can't believe i used to think he was just trolling me.

JOHN: the stupid junkyard scene where cyrus makes a little model out of rocks and stuff, just so he could tell the criminals to surround some army guys and shoot them... that was pointless!

JOHN: and all this heavy handed scoring. oh my god. the music makes every little thing into such a federal issue!

JOHN: like... oh man, SOME MINOR CHARACTERS BEING INTRODUCED IN SLOW MOTION! dun-dun dun-dun DUN DUN DUN!!!

JOHN: there. now you officially know they are all badasses.

JOHN: also, i somehow didn't even remember dave chappelle being in this movie. he was pointless too.

JADE: whos dave chappelle?

JOHN: and you know the malloy guy, the dick head cop who we're supposed to hate, because of how he gives john cusack a hard time and makes asshole decisions with a helicopter?

JOHN: well screw that! he wasn't so bad. so what if he was a little grumpy? he was just trying to do his job. he had one of the best lines in the movie actually, which was another thing we were supposed to hate him for.

JOHN: what was it? about how cusack was probably out saving a tree and recycling his sandals or some shit? HAHAHA! now that i think about it, i fucking LOVE malloy.

JOHN: i'm going to rewind it to watch that scene again...

JADE: no!!!

JADE: dont touch the remote

JOHN: oh, and we're supposed to be like "YEAH" when cusack wrecks malloy's awesome sports car.

JOHN: but that was a nice car! john cusack shouldn't have ruined it like that for laughs.

JOHN: i know *I* wasn't laughing, were you?

JADE: YES :p

JOHN: john cusack was such a terrible character in this movie now that i think about it. i don't really get what he added to it?

JOHN: he was like the second hero... but dorkier? what did he even really do? he scampered around the junkyard for a while goofing off, and then when it was his time to shine...

JOHN: HE DEMONSTRATED HIS MASTERY OVER HEAVY MACHINERY! wow, he can operate a crane! i am thrilled by the exploits of this pedantic weenie.

JOHN: i guess he's actually like cage's estranged sidekick? almost like the robin that batman never realized he had.

JOHN: now that i think about it, this movie was always an oddly poignant tale of bromance between cage and cusack. just two bros separated by destiny, waiting to be united.

JOHN: when they finally come together to kick some ass, it is arguably more moving than when he reunites with his wife and daughter!

JOHN: i wonder if i'll think that scene sucks now too? it used to move me to tears, but now i'll probably think it's so lame, i'm almost afraid to watch it. maybe i should try to leave at least SOME memories untainted.

JADE: john you are kind of sounding like a crazy person here

JOHN: yeah right! crazy like a fOWWW!

JADE: what???

JOHN: oh...

JOHN: i guess there was a stray feather clinging to my pajamas and it just poked me in the ass.

JOHN: god damn dave sprite.

JOHN: that guy molts like it's going out of style.

JADE: oh...

JADE: heh

JADE: yeah

JOHN: where is he anyway?

JOHN: i specifically told dave sprite several times when my party would start, because i knew he would do this.

JOHN: he's already missed half the movie!

JADE: why do you always call him dave sprite?

JOHN: um... because that's his name?

JOHN: dave sprite.

JADE: no, i mean why do you always say it like that? with the space between words?

JADE: its not dave sprite, its just davesprite

JOHN: what ever.

JOHN: i can't believe he's standing me up on my birthday.

JOHN: maybe he doesn't want to hang out with jaspers?

JOHN: jaspers, i hope you're not going to start chasing him around again when he gets here.

JASPERSPRITE: Hisssss!

JOHN: dude, shut up.

JADE: yeah.... john

JADE: i dont think davesprite is coming tonight

JOHN: aw, man. really?

JOHN: i knew we shouldn't have invited both him and jaspers.

JOHN: that's just party planning BASICS.

JADE: no...

JADE: it has nothing to do with jaspers

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: then why?

JADE: he uh...

JADE: kind of broke up with me

JOHN: what!!!

JOHN: when did that happen?

JADE: a couple days ago

JOHN: no. no way.

JOHN: i cannot accept this!

JADE: john its ok you dont have t...

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like the glue holding everything together on this miserable road trip!

JADE: we were?

JOHN: yes, jade.

JOHN: you were our rock.

JADE: your rock??

JADE: what are you talking about?

JOHN: come on, jade.

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like... an INSTITUTION on this stupid golden battleship.

JADE: we were not an institution!

JADE: you are just saying meaningless things now

JOHN: why did he break up with you?!

JADE: um...

JADE: its complicated

JADE: basically hes just going through a lot of stuff right now

JOHN: stuff??

JOHN: what stuff.

JOHN: jade, we are all going through stuff. you don't see me flying off the handle and breaking up with MY girlfriend.

JADE: do uh...

JADE: you have a girlfriend?

JOHN: that is not the point.

JOHN: the point is that dave sprite is a douche.

JADE: i dont think hes a douche, hes just...

JOHN: no, he's an orange feathery douche.

JOHN: why is he such a basket case? he's like regular dave, but like, aloof enigma edition.

JOHN: maybe it's because he's part bird? i think becoming a bird and a sprite did something weird to him.

JADE: i dont think being a bird ever bothered him

JADE: like i said... its all more complicated than that

JOHN: normal dave was so much more level headed.

JOHN: i have to admit, i spend a lot of time wondering what he and rose are up to.

JADE: me too

JOHN: ehh...

JOHN: maybe it's for the best he broke up with you.

JADE: why?

JOHN: well, what kind of future do you think you would have with him?

JOHN: he's a sprite. like really, what even is a sprite? how long do they live? will he still be around if we win the new game we are allegedly trying to get to?

JADE: i dont know

JOHN: there are a lot of things we don't know.

JOHN: and also...

JOHN: how do things even work if you marry a sprite?

JADE: what do you mean

JOHN: i mean...

JOHN: ok, he has a ghost butt, for one thing.

JADE: uh

JADE: so

JOHN: a GHOST BUTT, jade!

JADE: SO WHAT IF HE HAS A GHOST BUTT!!!!!

JOHN: i'm just saying...

JADE: WHATEVER YOURE JUST SAYING, JUST STOP SAYING IT!

JADE: and whatever youre trying to gesture with your hands there, stop doing that too!

JOHN: what? no, i was just...

JADE: nope!!! totally not talking about this

JOHN: but

JADE: put your hands down john

JOHN: ok, fine.

JADE: thats not down, thats up!

JADE: oh well, at least youre not making those unsettling gestures...

JADE: john...

JADE: what are you doing?

JOHN: nothing!

JADE: i hope youre not entertaining some awkward train of thought about, uh...

JOHN: no!!!

JADE: what is with you??

JADE: today is your birthday, youre supposed to be having fun!

JADE: but youve been so testy, as if youre committed to not having a good time

JOHN: well, maybe i'm just getting a little tired of being stuck on this lame boat!

JOHN: don't you think it's gotten kind of old?

JADE: yeah, i can see how you might find it a little slow here

JADE: i dunno, i havent minded much... maybe its different for me though because i used to live all alone?

JOHN: oh sure, i'm sure it's GREAT for you. you get to spend your days smooching and breaking up with dave sprite and what not, and you can shrink down to any old planet you feel like, any time. whereas i have to make this whole big deal of ASKING you to shrink or unshrink me, and...

JADE: but i dont mind doing that any time!!!

JOHN: i know, but you think i want to bug you about that at the drop of a hat? when you're busy and on dates and stuff? i just happen to have respect for something called PERSONAL BOUNDARIES, jade.

JOHN: and it's not like there's really anyone else to talk to, except the inscrutable chess people and a bunch of brainless consorts and an idiot cat princess. oh and also nanna, but i mean, she's my grandmother, and she's great, but a guy can only spend so much quality time with his grandmother before he starts to feel like kind of a loser whose friends are too busy to spend time with him!

JADE: john... if you told me this earlier i would have...

JOHN: and i still never visit any interesting dream bubbles, and we can't even finish our cool planet quests because the moment we broke through the window all our denizens decided to go back to sleep, and...

JOHN: i guess what i'm saying is, i'm MORE than ready to get to the other window and meet our friends and other new people and stuff.

JOHN: are you sure you can't make the ship go faster???

JADE: were already going as fast as i can make us go

JOHN: and how fast is that again?

JADE: about the speed of light!

JOHN: well, can't you use your space powers and bump it up a notch?

JADE: no! nothing can go faster than light john

JADE: unless you teleport of course

JOHN: and why can't you teleport us again?

JADE: i already explained this! i cant do that here, its not within the domain of the green sun which gives me those powers!

JOHN: is that why we can't go faster than light either?

JADE: no thats just a regular law of physics!!! jeez

JOHN: ok, i mean, i know that. but this isn't really a regular place, right?

JOHN: isn't the speed of light like a thousand miles a second? so what does that really mean here? are miles and seconds the same here as on earth? how does this nonsense dimension we're racing through jive with all the relativity mumbo jumbo?

JADE: ok first of all, thats not even close to the speed of light

JADE: light travels at a hundred and eighty six thousand miles per second no matter what frame of reference youre in... even this one!

JADE: second of all special relativity and comparing laws of physics between different frames of reference, those are tricky issues to talk about!

JADE: but id be more than happy to talk about them if youd like. actually i would enjoy that because i never really get to talk about science wi...

JOHN: no, i don't want to talk about physics! i don't know anything about the laws of physics, because they are hard and boring.

JOHN: i simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! is that really asking too much?

JADE: yes as a matter of fact it is!

JOHN: well, guess what? SCIENCE IS STUPID BULLSHIT!!!

JADE: you take that back!!!!!

JOHN: no.

JOHN: magic is awesome.

JOHN: science blows.

JOHN: the end.

JADE: john.....

JADE: what is that?

JOHN: what?

JADE: under your hood...

JADE: looks like a piece of paper stuck to your back?

JOHN: huh?

JOHN: oh god dammit.

JOHN: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!

JOHN: THAT BASTARD!!!

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS IS TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS.

JADE: what is it??

JOHN: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.

JOHN: IT IS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW!!!

JOHN: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

JADE: where are you going?

JOHN: I'M GOING TO GO KICK HIS ASS!

JADE: what! john, no...

JOHN: POSING AS MY DEAD FATHER BY MIMICKING ONE OF HIS GREAT FATHERLY NOTES HE USED TO HIDE AROUND THE HOUSE???

JOHN: AND ON THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY HE WAS SLAIN BY JACK NOIR, A *FACT* OF WHICH THAT CHEEKY ORANGE ASSHOLE IS PLAINLY AWARE??????

JOHN: THIS IS A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR DAVE SPRITE!

JADE: ok yes, that practical joke is in poor taste, but you should try to calm down and...

JOHN: NO, SCREW THAT, I AM SUPER PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS!

JOHN: THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS, AND THAT IS WITH AN OLD FASHIONED BEATDOWN.

JOHN: WHERE'S MY HAMMER!!!!!

JADE: um

JADE: which one?

JOHN: ANY OLD HAMMER!

JOHN: WHATEVER. IT COULD BE A HAMMER FROM THE BARGAIN BIN OF A HARDWARE STORE FOR ALL I CARE.

JOHN: JUST GIVE ME ANYTHING THAT'S FIT FOR CLOBBERING A GHOST BOTTOMED DICK FACE WHO'S ALSO A BIRD.

JADE: sigh

JOHN: I'M COMING FOR YOU, DAVE SPRITE!

JOHN: DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU MAGICAL SON OF A BITCH? I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!

JOHN: THAT STUNT WASN'T COOL! *YOU'RE* NOT COOL!

JOHN: LIKE IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH YOU DUMPED JADE FOR NO REASON. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!

JOHN: YOU AND JADE WERE OUR ROCK ON THIS SHIP! YOU HEAR ME?? OUR ROOOOOOOOCK!!!

JADE: :|

JOHN: AND NOW *THIS* BULLSHIT??? WHAT THE HELL, MAN.

JOHN: I DON'T GO AROUND LEAVING FAKE PUZZLES FOR YOU LIKE FROM THE MOVIE SAW, DO I? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ME SAY I WANT TO PLAY A GAME EVEN *ONCE*?? WELL, HAVE YOU????

JOHN: NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD STIR UP PAINFUL MEMORIES OF A DEARLY DEPARTED LOVED ONE, AND THEREFORE WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLY SHITTY OF ME!!!!!!!!

JOHN: HEY! I SEE YOU THERE!

JOHN: GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW, WISE GUY!

JOHN: OH NO, DON'T PLAY DUMB. I CAN SEE YOU PLAIN AS DAY. I'M ON TO YOU, BUDDY.

JOHN: STOP VAGUELY WATERMARKING THE SKY WITH YOUR SMUG DOUCHEY FACE THIS INSTANT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!!!

JOHN: YEAH SURE, LAUGH IT UP! THAT MAKES YOU SEEM LIKE WAY LESS OF A TOOL. NICE GOING BRO!

JOHN: EVERYONE ON THIS BOAT IS SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT! WHY DON'T YOU JUST FLY AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE?

JOHN: HOW CAN YOU BE SO MUCH MORE OF A PRICK THAN THE REAL DAVE? YOU ARE THE MOST PISS POOR SUBSTITUTE FOR A BEST FRIEND A GUY EVER HAD.

JOHN: I CAN'T *WAIT* TO MEET UP WITH THE REAL DAVE AGAIN. THAT WAY WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO THE AWESOME STATUS QUO OF PRETENDING YOU NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

JADE: john...

JADE: theres no one there

JOHN: oh he's THERE alright.

JOHN: he's probably just using some sprite magic so only i can see him.

JOHN: don't you see, jade? he's antagonizing ME PERSONALLY, not you. he's done with you, remember?

JOHN: he already used you like a rented mule, and now he is moving on to greener pastures.

JADE: what pastures

JOHN: it's me.

JOHN: I'M the pastures.

JOHN: and now his mule is grazing all over them, while he has a good laugh.

JADE: what

JADE: wasnt i supposed to be the mule?

JADE: i dont think i understand your analogy

JOHN: no, you see, it's...

JOHN: the mule represented, like...

JOHN: i don't know, like the spirit animal of his douchey ways. or something.

JADE: ....

JOHN: augh, WHO CAAARES.

JOHN: who cares about mules, or pastures, or dave sprite's stupid ephemeral sky visage.

JOHN: who cares about anything!!!

JOHN: who cares about my birthday, or nic cage, or this boat full of idiots.

JOHN: JUST.

JOHN: WHO.

JOHN: CARES.

JADE: john i think youre officially throwing a tantrum here

JADE: ...

JADE: john?

JADE: john...

JADE: are you asleep?

JADE: please dont tell me you just fell asleep in your driveway

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briefle · 5 months

Text

attempts at communications

In the early morning haze, with the fog rising from the ground and the cold of the night still stinging nose and ears, the path to the two stocky towers must seem almost dreamlike. For someone trying to infiltrate the back of the fortifications, however, the steep mountain had only mudslides and dangerously unearthed roots to offer as welcome. And god, did Bdubs feel like he got the biggest welcome yet.

He made it. It's fine. Without a single scratch even! If you don't count all those scratches on his arms from helplessly grasping at anything to stand upright.

There's a tiny passage behind the painting in his room… Surely everyone knows it exists, but there it is still. He's decided not to think about that too hard.

His boots off, he doesn't make any noise at all.

"Hi Bdubs."

"GH— YES, HELLO."

Maybe some noise was made.

"What doing?"

"Hi Grian how are you I'm wonderful myself it's getting quite chilly outside it's probably because of that mountain you guys keep as a backdrop good for wind protection I think but man do temperatures drop over in this corner—"

"Right."

"So!"

He coughs, half politely and half a necessity after his rapid-fire panic, but the silence stretches on.

Grian unnerves him sometimes. There he is, pinned in place screaming at himself to think of something to say.

Lucky he speaks first, "Didn't see you walk up to the front door…"

"Oh, I just wound up back here. You know with how everything… last time… I just ended up resting here."

"Right."

"Right again! Yes."

Beady black eyes stare him down. How could Bdubs even forget he lives here, He moved in after most alliances were formed but fits in so seamlessly it's like he's always been there and a ghost at the same time. God the silence is getting on his nerves already.

"So, since we are both all right and everything is fine, I'll take my leave."

Half a step is all he manages to take.

"Which of them were you actually looking for?"

"I uh—"

"Even then! It's early. They're not here. Everyone knows it's just me here at this time."

He sighs, even pinches his nose. It reminds him a lot about Cleo's sigh. Makes him feel like he might actually be in the wrong here.

"Bdubs…"

"No, it's fine. I'll go."

"Listen. I don't think they care too much."

What.

"It's not something you're doing because you want to. It's a Task. You have to follow it. I don't think they're the type to hold a grudge for that. Even if they were, for you they'd find a way to make an exception."

"What."

Grian waits.

"I don't have to do anything. No one has to do Tasks. We could all decide to go on strike. Right now. Not do any task. At all. See how that goes."

"It's not— That won't work."

He laughs, "Sure it won't. You just say that because it's your show. Everything you say is because this is your Show. How many shots do you call here, huh?"

"Actually, Bdubs…"

"Let me see: out of everyone here just Scott, Cleo and you survive. Miraculously! No one even knew where you where and our little glade here isn't so impossibly big that 13 people can't find ANY of you."

"Well, there's the session time also—"

"Oh the one YOU announce?"

Grian narrows his eyes. He hasn't moved an inch this whole time and Bdubs feels like he could run a marathon with how much energy he's restraining trying not to pace back and forth.

"Who are we angry at here?"

"Y-You?! Clearly?!"

He doesn't answer. Again.

"Call them up right now, let me see them. I need to speak to Etho and Cleo both."

And then? There is no plan but he's sticking with what he has.

For now he's balled up his fists and crossed his arms. And scrunched his face for good measure.

"Is it an apology you're here for? Or over some sense of obligation?"

It's his turn to not answer. Take that. Seconds tick and blast it all, Grian doesn't seem too fussed about silence either way.

"Bdubs, what would you even tell them right now. That having denounced the Mounders as a red name you'd much rather join us full time? I don't understand."

"Of course you don't."

He sighs again. Maybe he is fussed. Maybe this is what Grian being driven up the wall looks like. Etho would have understood right away. He would have known his good intentions immediately. Surely.

"Just— Be careful, going back and forth from so many allies."

He almost wants to stand there some more. Yell some more. Then all but storms out of the place in silent frustration.

The air outside is not refreshing, it's just cold, and the fog isn't quite dreamlike anymore, it's just annoying.

He makes sure to be back before Pearl comes to.

#set in the moments before session 8 #personally ambivalent about watchers but invested in g having to be up early or scramble things together very quickly because admin #i just think it's fun to have unbalanced agency over what happens to the game. even if unused because if anyone plays By The Book it's gria #*triple boogey in limlife ignored because it was objectively funny #grian #bdoubleo100 #secret life #.my writing

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fanficwriter284 · 1 year

Text

I was in a silly goofy mood.....so I wrote a goofball fic for fun...for pure entertainment so it's kinda scattery and quickly put together...but it was a fun write.

"CHUCKY YOU BETTER NOT FUCKING LET GO"

"DON'T LET GOOO"

"Brother no pressure but don't let go of that ledge unless you want us to plummet into the sea"

"ARGH...I--I'M, SLIPPING"

"DON'T LET GO THE WAVES ARE GETTING BIGGER"

Ok pause, you're all probably wondering how exactly me, and my brother are now currently dangling off the side of a cliff about to fall into the ocean....and yes, I realize I broke the 4th wall bitches....let's just take it back a few moments ago.

....

A Few Moments Earlier

The brothers had been strolling back from a 7/11 eating gummy worms and drinking sodas, happily enjoying themselves. Till Chucky decided he wanted to take a shortcut through the woods, for a fun detour. It went fine up until Slap had slipped knowing all the brothers over dangling off the large and steep cliff right over the ocean.

...

So now you're all caught up now back to me getting one hell of a arm work out

...

"PULL US UP"

Before the redhead could throw them over the ledge back to safety the rock supporting the four of them snapped.

"AHHHHHH"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

".......Ohhhh dddeeeeaaaarrr......"

All four of them collided with the ocean. When Chucky landed, all the air blew out of his lungs, leaving him breathless. Filling his lung with salt water. He felt his body begin to sink further and further into the ocean. Before he could descend further into the darkness he was pulled to the surface, by his best friend.

They both broke the surface with a loud gasp, and Chucky coughed up loads of sea water, now catching his breath.

"You good?"

"Y---Yeah t--thanks bro"

He swam by himself now and saw that they all struggled to stay afloat. The mass waves crashed in violent collisions, trying to them all below the surface.

The four eventually washed up on land in the middle of the forest. With wild terrain, dead leaves scattered across the ground and branching leaning down on them, curious to see the newcomers.

"Ugh....what the actual fuck"

"Where are we?"

"What the--"

"Where on earth, did we wash up?"

"Don't know"

It had been hours of searching only to find more forest and not a single human in sight. They all had to eventually come to the realization that they all were hungry. Feeling their stomachs begin to eat away.

"So....who's getting the food?"

"How about we go hunting"

"Alright"

"Ok"

The newly devised hunting party began to scout the area and found nothing. After what felt like years of searching, they spotted a deer. It's head down eating away at some grass, completely unaware of the men stalking it. The four men bolted after it, Chucky was right at it's rear till his leg had worn and tweaked, causing him to faceplant.

''FUCK ARGH DAMN IT"

"CHUCKY"

"ARGH FUCK.....Ow.....god damnit"

The three carried him back to the makeshift camp and rested his leg upward, keeping it elevated.

The three brothers left him and continued their search.

Chucky simply hung back and waited for his brothers to return.

After many hours they finally returned.

"You three snag something?"

Slappy only grinned holding up a bunch of weeds and grass.

"The hell is that?"

"This my dear crippled brother, THIS is salad"

".....in other words we found nothing"

"Yep"

Chucky just shook his head disapprovingly groaning in annoyance.

"Oh shut up Mr. Judgey I'd like to see you do any better. With your damn injury"

Chucky raised a brow and held the dead carcass of a deer up and proud.

"........HOW THE FUCK"

"I have amazing aim with my knife fucker"

"......I'll start the damn fire.....whatever....."

"HAHAHAAA"

They all munched down on the meat, eating away till there was nothing left but bones.

......

The next morning they searched around, Chucky had used a walking stick to get by so he wasn't stuck in one place and had the capability to roam where he pleased.

"SHHH"

"What?"

"SHHHHHH"

"....."

"...."

"..."

"Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"haHaaha"

"The laughter of children"

"Exactly"

"Then that means....."

"PEOPLE"

The four followed the kids laughter and ended up at a school....the twins school to be exact.

"....uhhh....well this ain't awkward"

"......"

"Let's just head home"

"Agreed I need a shower"

#The Boys #A Goofball fic

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maggicktouched · 2 years

Note

Bubble bath, crushed velvet, diamonds

Luxury Asks: Open to all muses.

bubble bath: do you have any routines before bedtime? like skin care, etc. what are they?

"Interested in my bedtime routines, huh Stark?" She's shameless---unflappably confident. "Maybe one day, if you're real nice to me, I'll show you myself."

Ok she'd rather be coy but I wanna talk about it.

I wouldn't call them routines because Beck doesn't do things at set times. It's entirely possible that for a few days bedtime won't come at all.

But at some point in the morning and evening Beck will bathe. In ideal verses where she has free access to time and safety, she takes two baths a day. She takes a cold bath in the morning, and she takes a hot bath in the evening. And the process is fairly time consuming for each. Thirty minutes to an hour depending on how dirty she feels. She'll muddle fresh herbs and grind oatmeal and put it in the cold bath in the morning, and she almost always uses her outdoor tub for this. Rain, shine, snow. It doesn't matter to her. In the evenings she'll boil a big pot of water and steep a strong homemade tea that she pours into the steaming tub. She sprinkles the water with flowers and sometimes citrus if she has it.

Twice a month she has a bath in goat's milk. And this might sound gross to you but three times a year she takes a bath with blood. But that less one is about self care and more about ritual magic.

Beck applies lotions pretty regularly, she takes good care of her hair, she makes herself good food. But is it a nightly routine? No. Because when those things get done depend on a lot of factors. She's not an extremely consistent person for things that don't absolutely demand consistency.

crushed velvet: have you ever used your charm to get something you want?

"Oh god. All the tough questions today, huh?" She laughs, a bright twinkle to her blue eyes. "Maybe? I mean like, not on purpose. Some people are just really nice. They'll tell me I'm cute or funny or whatever and offer to help me out, ya know? But that's like, their thing, yeah? I wouldn't say I'm 'charming' them or whatever."

Ok normally I just let Beck lie her ass off but like... do not believe this bullshit. Beck's primary mode of communication is lying and manipulation. Charm is how she gets most things she wants in life. And most people don't even realize it.

I was actually just laughing the other day because even people that know Beck's dumb blonde act is, in fact, and extremely well practiced act, like I've told them OOC, people fall for it. And I have to remind them that yes Beck is playful and very much in touch with her inner child and, in modern verses, pretty oblivious to how the human world gets on.

But if you don't think she notices everything you do. If you think she doesn't let herself look like the silly, crazy little witch woman in situations where she knows better so that people underestimate her. You're wrong. She's got a breezy and fun demeanor and a shining smile that she's learned can get her into wallets, buildings, pants, and if she needs something she's got no moral qualms about using that talent.

diamonds: how do you feel about excessively spending money?

"Money's such a headache, right? Ugh. It's fine I guess, but I don't have much to do with it. There are easier ways to get what you want. Most stuff you can just take. People don't even notice."

#ok i had to change that one icon #it was even distracting me lmao #hcs;; beck

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palimpsessed · 3 years

Note

Please please please could you talk about this parallel internal monologue—what are your thoughts?

BAZ

I kiss him back, squarely. Firmly. Matter-of-factly. You’re all I want, I think. And you can have everything you need.”

“I’m not sure what he’s telling me with this kiss. I pretend it’s Yes and Yes and Be kind to me.”

SIMON

“Fine, you fucker. Have me. Just have me. Do your worst, you stubborn twat. Be the death of me. You’ll be the death of me.”

Oh ho ho, my dear Anon. Of course I will talk about this part!!! What a meaty passage to sink my teeth into.

To put things as simply as possible, the juxtaposition we see between these two sections is the perfect encapsulation of the different ways Simon and Baz express and receive love.

Let's start by taking a look at Baz's piece, as it does come first. (Read that sentence out of context, I dare ya.)

At this point in the book, Baz and Simon have just had one of the most critical relationship-building conversations thus far. Simon has set boundaries about magic being cast on his body that Baz has agreed to. They've talked about Lamb and America and settled that matter for good. Baz has managed to lasso Simon with own tail and proceeded to do some very interesting things to it. (I'm going to do my best not to get distracted by that, but, Anon, if you know anything about me, you'll know what an absolutely monumental struggle that is.) Simon has asked Baz to be less kind to him and Baz has delivered, as only Baz can, one of the most romantic lines in the entire trilogy: "I can touch you less gently, but I won't love you less kindly."

And that leads me neatly to my first point: Baz wants to be gentle and kind with Simon, because that's what he thinks Simon needs and deserves. Gentleness and kindness are what Baz wants from Simon. That's how he thinks love should be. They've both seen and done horrible things, and he believes their love should offer a solace from all of that.

(That offering of solace is a theme throughout AWTWB. Slightly off topic, we see their bed become more and more such a sanctuary—perhaps the only place where the troubles of the outside world cannot reach them. @theflyingpeach has shared some beautiful thoughts on the bed's symbolism—their own Eden/paradise and a place where they help one another lay aside the burdens that could otherwise separate them. I've remarked before that Baz's childhood bedroom serves as a kind of refuge for them in CO in the midst of some truly steep trauma, so it was really lovely to see this kind of idea brought forward and deepened and expanded on in AWTWB in this way.)

Baz wants to give Simon kindness, safety, gentleness—three things he's been sorely deprived of in his life. When Simon is beside himself because Baz makes him a sandwich the way he likes, Baz responds internally with: "As if I wouldn't make the world spin backwards if I thought he'd like it better that way." Baz would give Simon anything, would do anything to make him happy. Baz wants to be a kind, caring, thoughtful boyfriend to the love of his life—who he knows is struggling with trauma and self-worth. All the while, Baz himself is also struggling big time with trauma and self-worth. (It's almost like they match.) It feels pretty logical that someone in Baz's place would look at Simon's struggle and wish to be soft and gentle—especially basing this logic on how he feels. He asks Simon to be gentle with him their first time together. Maybe that's because it's Baz's first time. Maybe that's because he wants to feel fragile instead of being reminded that he's an indestructible vampire. Maybe that's because gentle is just what he wants. Maybe it's all of the above. In this case, the reason isn't really important, but the fact that it's what Baz needs is. If it's how Baz needs to receive love, then it follows it's how he would give love. (Rainbow tagged a post about AWTWB shortly before the book was released with the Beatles' lyric: "and in end, the love you take is equal to the love you make". I don’t think that was by chance.)

All this is to say that the conversation Simon and Baz have before the parallel passages in question reveals that Simon isn't comfortable receiving love in this same way. He doesn't want gentle and kind and soft because he doesn't know how to process feelings like that. I'm going to do something different and tag the @youhearbiggirls podcast whose July 29 episode talked about this in a really great way (at 26:20)—including discussion of a message from Rainbow's now-deleted Twitter account. I was so happy to hear that old tweet being talked about, because I thought it was really great and was sad it was lost when Rainbow deleted her account. And! Because they mentioned the date of the tweet and people and the search function on discord are awesome, I was able to locate a screenshot someone shared!

The takeaway here is that Simon isn't programmed to accept love and kindness from others. His brain and his body have been conditioned for violence and fight or flight by trauma. He doesn't know how to accept or process good feelings and sensations, because to him, those sensations actually feel bad. They're foreign, and therefore frightening to him. That's why he feels like he has to flee when he's being physical with Baz—or, rather, I think, when Baz is trying to be physical with him. This is what Simon is attempting to express when he tells Baz that he doesn't "like that feeling. That, like, feathery feeling. Like, touch me or don't—but don't, like, whisper on me." Simon takes a huge step forward when he's able to finally verbalize this to Baz—it also goes a long way to allowing them to be physically intimate.

Baz's half of the parallel passage addresses this directly: "I kiss him back, squarely. Firmly. Matter-of-factly." This is Baz consciously making an adjustment in how he treats Simon to better give him the kind of love that Simon needs, the kind of love he asked for. His thoughts here reinforce this. "You're all I want" he tells Simon in his head, and he means it.

He understands much more about Simon now. He's seen more of who Simon is. And he still loves him. Simon—all of Simon—is still the only person Baz wants. "And you can have everything you need", Baz promises Simon. He's going to give Simon the kind of love and affection that Simon has asked for. He's going to be firm. He's going to kiss him squarely on the mouth, not softly. He's going to be direct and he's not going to let himself be scared or timid or shy away. Simon needs boldness and bravery and unequivocation. Baz is up to the task, and this is his way of showing that to Simon.

And then…! "I'm not sure what he's telling me with this kiss. I pretend it's Yes and Yes and Be kind to me."—Be kind to me.—Baz has admitted that he's "more used to guessing what Simon is thinking—what he's feeling, what he wants." He's once more trying to fill in those gaps in his mind, except this time, he actually understands Simon. They've finally gotten to a place where Simon is speaking for himself and Baz doesn't have to guess. The kiss comes immediately after Simon asks Baz to be less kind, and Baz has refused on the basis that it is exactly the opposite of what Simon needs, even if Simon doesn't see it that way. While Baz is kissing Simon—firmly, squarely, not in a new way, but definitely in a way he hasn't for a while—Baz is hoping that Simon will feel differently. That he'll feel good enough and safe enough with Baz to not only accept kindness, but to ask for it. To understand and internalize his need for kindness, and then to be able to accept it from Baz. For Simon, accepting kindness is being vulnerable, and as much as he loves Baz, he's not yet at a place where he feels safe and settled. He convinced himself early on that there was no security in their relationship, and he doesn't yet trust any security in his life—it's not something he's had to count on. So for Simon to ask Baz with his kiss to "be kind" would be monumental—it would be him undoing a lifetime of programming for violence and giving himself fully into their relationship and their future together.

Of course, we know what Simon is really telling Baz with his kiss. Onward to part two!

"You're all I want," Baz says, trying to convince Simon not to be jealous of Lamb. "Fine, you fucker. Have me. Just have me" then serves as Simon's response. In fact, this whole section seems to be in conversation with Baz—but more so the reconciliation scene than their preceding conversation.

Let's take a little trip back to Chapter 16. "If we do this", Baz says then of getting back together—of Simon trying—"I want the full Simon Snow treatment…I want the locked jaw. The squinty eyes. The shoulders." (I mean, same, Baz.) "I want you to slay a dragon before you give up on me, do you understand?...I want you to try everything before you give up on us again." If we start here, then I think we can trace these threads through directly to what Simon is thinking when he kisses Baz.

Baz wants the full Simon Snow treatment? "Fine", Simon says, "Have me. Just have me." Baz wants him to fight and "try everything" before he gives up? "Do your worst" is Simon's answer. "I thought you'd go down fighting if you believed in something…" Baz says. So, Simon responds with: "Be the death of me. You'll be the death of me." The kiss in Chapter 32 then becomes a rebuttal of sorts. It's Simon's closing argument. He's opened himself up to Baz and told him what he needs. He's "Use[d his] words" and now he's using his mouth the way he's most comfortable—kissing Baz. Kissing him fiercely and telling him everything he's feeling with it. More than that, it's his way of showing Baz—not just telling him—that he's going to keep his word. He's going to try now, and this is him trying for Baz. This is him meeting every challenge, every demand that Baz issued, and slaying them like dragons. He's going to fight, he's going to give his all, he's going to risk everything to make his relationship with Baz work this time. Simon asking Baz for what he needs was a major victory in his ongoing battle with insecurity and I think he's feeling buoyed by that, a swell of confidence that comes through in the fierceness of his thoughts.

I'd like to spend a little more time with the last line: "Be the death of me. You'll be the death of me." Let's look at this in terms of what we know of Simon. He needs fierceness, passion, violence to feel comfortable.

Both Simon and Baz are all or nothing in the way they think about each other and the love they feel, but I think we're seeing something else with Simon's "Be the death of me. You'll be the death of me." The first time he tells Baz that he loves him, Baz is shocked. He truly doesn’t believe that Simon is in love with him, and when he questions it, Simon's reasoning is: "I've killed so many things for you." And when Simon is facing off with the goblin, he lets the goblin get close because "The Mage taught me that sometimes the best way to get under someone's guard is to let them close." If violence is what Simon knows and understands, if that's what's comfortable to him, then it makes sense these are the terms in which Simon views everything, including his relationship with Baz. From his earliest moments under the Mage's control, Simon learned to think of himself as expendable. He was the Chosen One, a weapon, a blade to be kept sharp. He internalized the idea that he wouldn't live through the war and the Humdrum—he said "I’ll fight until I can't anymore". He spends most of his childhood with the belief that the greatest thing he will ever do is die—fall in battle saving the world. His highest aspiration in life is to sacrifice himself for the people he loves. I think this is at the heart of what he's thinking during that kiss with Baz: the way he knows best to prove his love to Baz is to offer him his life—"Be the death of me. You'll be the death of me."

I don't think Simon’s moved passed this way of thinking about himself & the price he thinks he has to pay to prove his love. (Further underscoring this, Baz tells him to “slay a dragon” and Simon is—probably—a dragon...) But I think this is so much of who Simon is at his core, beyond the manipulation he suffered at the Mage's hands, that he'll always play the hero because it's inherent to his nature. He does put himself into harm's way & lies to Baz to protect him. The good part in all this is that living a life of peace with Baz will present far fewer chances for Simon to put his life on the line in order to prove himself, and finally, someday, he'll realize that he doesn't have anything to prove. Until then, he'll keep trying for Baz in the best way he knows how.

Thanks so much for this ask!

As ever, if anyone has thoughts to add or other questions to ask, please do send them along. 😘

#asks #awtwb spoilers

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quinncupine · 3 years

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Hiiii quinn! I never realised you did requests but if it would be fine (and also because its my sole goal) could you do a boom boom boi and izubby with having their own cat or dog as a pet??? I'm seriously thinking that boom boom boi would be both a cat and dog person, don't u agree? (Ily lots and don't feel pressured to do this if you have a lot of stuff going on!)

Hi Dorki! I'm finally making my way through my requests and I was really excited to write this one! Okay, hope you like it!

Quinns Masterlist

Wanna request something?

The Boys with Pets

Word Count: 1,750

Featuring: Izuku Midoriya and Katsuki Bakugo!

Warnings: dogs, cats, cursing

Izuku Midoriya

Now Izuku loves pretty much all animals, but I can totally see him getting a dog. Dogs are loyal and full of energy just like a certain green-haired hero. The perfect duo.

He would probably rescue one from the pound, the one with the biggest, saddest, cutest eyes because how could he not? But someone has to go with him because he'd try to rescue them all if there was no one there to stop him. Once a hero, always a hero I suppose.

I'm thinking for names, he would definitely pick a name that reflects his favorite heroes. Don't be surprised if he names his dog something super cheesy like Mighty or Rocky…

Wait, okay, I've decided, he names his dog Mighty and that is the hill I will die on.

The life of a hero is quite busy so when he goes off on long missions, he drops the dog off at his mom's house. Inko has fallen in love with this sweet pup, so much so that she sometimes begs him to stop by with the dog for a visit. It's the closest thing she's got to grandbabies at the moment, she'll take what she can get :)

Now, this cute pup draws in the attention of just about everyone so he's gotten an influx of attention and a few numbers slipped in his hand during their walks, much to his flustered surprise.

Best wingman ever.

This dog goes on regular runs with Izuku and sometimes even helps him with training. I'm thinking a Collie or an Aussie would just be the perfect fit for him to keep up with his personality and lifestyle. He needs an active dog!

I can see it now, he goes on his daily morning runs with this cute Lil furry training buddy and they race the whole way! A few regulars on the trail know about this and it's become sort of a tradition to cheer the two on as they pass.

...

The morning air was crisp with the slight scent of the coming autumn, the perfect morning for a run. Izuku, dressed in his usual training wear, had a steady rhythm going for the last forty minutes, letting out even, controlled breaths. This was the easy part of the run, a warm-up if anything, and he hadn't even broken a sweat yet. The canine jogging by his side was enjoying the dewy morning air as well, tongue happily flopping out the side of her mouth. The shared morning ritual between man and man's best friend: Mighty.

Her tail picked up speed, wagging uncontrollably as they neared the bend where the giant jagged rock towered over the path. It was the place marker to start the race. A three-mile run to the top of the hill located at the center of the park. It was also Mighty's favorite part of the morning.

"Ready girl?" Izuku grinned down at the ecstatic dog who barked in reply.

The instant the two of them passed the big rock, they both broke out in full speed, leaving behind a cloud of dust. Happy barks filled the air as she gained the upper hand. Izuku laughed as the dog turned to look back at him lagging behind her. He always did these races without his quirk to assist him. It was only fair and it helped him work on his natural stamina in case he was ever in a situation where he couldn't use his quirk. Always good to be prepared.

He watched as she bounded up the first steep hill on the trail. There were a few small hills on this route, but this one was the hardest to climb and Mighty had the advantage with her four legs so she always managed to pull ahead first. She stopped at the top and barked him on before quickly disappearing over the crest.

When he reached the top, he stopped for just a second to take in his surroundings. This part of the park was a heavily wooded area with numerous trails that many people used to hike or run. It also served as a great view of the city skyline and he couldn't help but stop and admire the rising sun from between the foggy buildings every time. Then Mighty barked to pull him out of his thoughts.

"It's not over yet!" He called after her and raced down the hill, putting on an extra burst of speed to easily close the distance.

Tail wagging, she nipped playfully at his feet as they sprinted along the path, side by side. There weren't many people out this early so he usually had the trail to himself. The only sounds were the wind in the trees, the leaves crunching under feet and paws, Mighty barking beside him, and his own unrestrained glee as they ran together.

These were the mornings he loved. Just the two of them, away from the stresses that came with pro-hero work. He wouldn't trade being a hero for anything, but sometimes it got to be too much so coming here to clear his mind with a little run was always a cathartic release, only made better by the furry companion by his side.

The short bridge that arched over the creek signaled the last mile. Getting more serious, Izuku pulled ahead of Mighty, not able to hold back the giant grin as he streaked across the bridge, startling a few birds off the railings which Mighty barked at as she came up behind him.

Up ahead was a large open meadow with a small duck pond near the center. A few benches were scattered about the path and he saw the same elderly couple sitting in their usual spot with a bag of rice and seed to feed the plethora of ducks waddling around their feet.

"You got him this time Mighty!" The old man looked up as the two of them zipped down the path towards the couple.

"Show 'em what girls can do!" The woman cracked a smile, waving her hands.

"Morning Mr. and Mrs. Fujino!" Izuku waved as he passed. "Don't count me out yet!"

Mighty barked her greeting and took a detour, herding some ducks closer to the couple then with a quick lick to Mr. Fujino's hand, she sprinted back to catch up to Izuku.

The Fujino's marked the last leg of the race. The only thing left was to climb the top of the largest hill in the park to the old oak tree at the top. That was the finishing line. It was always a gamble as to who finished first every day, but Mighty sure had a competitive spirit.

Izuku pumped his legs as he steadily made his way up to the dirt trail, Mighty just behind him before she suddenly veered left and disappeared into the shrubbery. He was so focused on the tree that slowly came into view just around the curve as he neared the top that he didn't notice.

Just as the path leveled out, almost to the finish line, he glanced back to see no sign of his dog. The tree was a few feet away when a furry mass ambushed him from the side, knocking him clean off his feet. The pro hero landed in the grass with a heavy Oof. Sitting on his chest was Mighty, looking quite proud of herself.

"Cheater!" He laughed, trying his best to hold back the slobbery licks she was determined to give him. "Okay, okay, I'll call it a tie!"

Katsuki Bakugo

Now Katsuki on the other hand would totally be a cat person. Not that he has anything against dogs, but cats are more his style. They don't need constant attention and are pretty much self-sufficient. Just the way he likes it.

That being said, Katuski would go all out on toys and the latest gizmos to take care of his cat. Has a self-cleaning litter box, a waterfall bowl, an automatic feeder, etc. You get the picture.

Oh, and toys galore. If he has space, this cat is getting a personal jungle gym that lets him walk up to the ceiling. S.P.O.I.L.E.D.

Doesn't like to tell people just how much he actually loves this cat because he's never been one to express emotions, but this cat just gets him to his core. They share the same wavelength and he appreciates that. The cat is the only one he trusts to open up to, so sometimes you might catch him ranting to the poor thing who just stares back with big wide eyes and occasional meows. Yup, totally gets him.

I see him with a super chill cat, like maybe a Ragdoll or a Russian Blue. Something that tolerates his constant screaming and explosions.

This guy is just as bad at names. It'll definitely be something long and dramatic like Lord Cat Explosion Demon God of Furballs. Yep. He doesn't take criticism so most people call him Lord Furballs, much to his disdain.

Katsuki won't ask for attention from the cat, but the little furry feline is a total cuddler and will often find itself curled up in his lap or even on his neck if Katsuki's sitting on the couch. You better believe this guy won't be moving until that cat decides it's time to move. He's been late to meetings with friends because of this cuddly cat.

He's a hero so this cat is definitely being treated right. Katuski is no slacker when it comes to caring for his lil buddy. The vet is on speed dial should anything ever happen.

Did someone say a custom-made collar that matches his hero costume to a tee?

He's never loved anything more.

...

"Uh, hey Bakubro, why is your cat glaring at me?" Ejiro asked, staring down at the feline.

"What?" Katsuki didn't even bother to look up from his laptop.

"Your cat. It's giving me the evil eye. I thought it was supposed to be friendly." The red-haired hero frowned, not able to break eye contact with the cat. "I don’t think it likes me."

The small furry creature had lazily curled up in the sunspot next to Katsuki's feet, purring away without a care in the world. It seemed harmless enough, except for the heavy glare it was shooting Ejiro's way.

"Heh," Katsuki finally glanced down and crossed his arms. "He's not glaring. That's just his face."

"Ah," Ejiro nodded, "like father like son."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean!?"

Taglist: @thecindy @peachsenpie @awilddreamerwrites @miriobaby @kiyoobi @dragonsdreamoffire @amive2567 @justscar @kenmaskitten10 @freckledoriya

#izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugou #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #izuku midoriya headcanons #katsuki bakugou headcanons #my pets #cute dogs #cats #yes i did name his dog Mighty #come at me #I got really inspired so i wrote lil stories to go with these headcannons #i laughed when I wrote Katsuki's #of course that cat would pick up on his mannerisms while being a precious sweetheart #and that dog is literally just Izuku in dog form so #this turned out so goofy #lol #request

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saksukei · 3 years

Text

mermaid yeosang au

[plenty of curses lol and also this is hella long ,,,,, so I'm sorry] This was once again inspired by warmau, please check them out! I love their writing.

other mermaid aus; yunho san

when your friends said you were a dumb fuck you begged to differ but now you just agree

because really– you have proved how low your IQ level is when you went to the beach

It was a cloudy day and it was supposed to rain later on but you and your friends were already at the beach– so you decided you might as well enjoy

you wanted to go for a swim but all your friends refused and said that they preferred to stick to the shallow water

you went in for a swim in the deep water, where the waves form because you go out to swim pretty often ,,,, especially this place

but then it started raining cats and dogs

and the current started becoming stronger

your grade A swimming skills couldn't save you because even as you were trying to swim against the current, the water was just sweeping you away

The only thing you could hear were your friends screaming for the one second you managed to get out and then you were back in

salt water going through your nose

and you felt like this was it

because getting out of the water is impossible and you've heard countless stories of people drowning, never thinking you were going to go be one of them

and this isn't some movie where you get washed up on some shore on an island and find your way back home

and so you just let the water take you with itself

Till you felt a strong grip on your wrist

you couldn't see clearly because the salt water and the sand was hurting your eyes

but you felt something wrap it's arms around you tightly and drag you away with full force

you felt everything fade away as you lost consciousness

you eyes fluttered open and you jolted up

you found yourself on this flat rock on some unknown shoreline?

“oh good– you're up,” you heard someone say from behind you.

You turned around to see a white haired boy, prominent cheek bones, angular face, melanin skin, a weak smile on his lips

and then you noticed–

the huge gash that went from his ankle to almost his knee

“w-what ,,,,, how did this happen? Are you okay?” you asked, worryingly, as you inched closer to him.

“oh I'm a hundred percent fine!” he replied in a sarcastic tone, pointing towards his leg

hE SOUNDED LIKE A WHINY BITCH

“rude,” you hissed, as you tore your sleeve, wrapping it around his leg to cover the wound

“please stop– this ,,, it won't help,” he pointed towards the bandage.

“i know it's not great but it'll be worse if I don't do this now,” you answered.

“no you don't understand,” he interrupted, his tone stern.

“what do I not understand? This is one of the things I've been taught to do in case someone gets wounded and this prevents bacterial infection from happening–”

“I'm a mermaid,,,,,,” he confessed.

and you stopped dead in your tracks

“y-youre a ,,,,, what?” you asked him again

“don't tell anyone please,” he grumbled. “I don't want a fanclub”

“oh my god ,,,, you're a mermaid but you're also a dick, congrats!” you replied, clearly annoyed.

I MEAN WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE IS???

and he just rolled his eyes

“why don't you just tell me how I can help because I don't want to be responsible for murder,” you hissed.

Yeosang scoffed and kept thinking of a solution, till an idea popped into his mind, a smile on his face

You could see the light bulb over his head

“well- there are these things we use to heal and keep ourselves strong ,,,,, they're a type of seashell.....”

“oh god– this will be like finding a needle in a haystack,” you sighed.

“no actually the shell is the color of my tail which is emerald green, with white lines and we don't carry these shells with us, but rather– they find us when we are in need,” he explained.

“so can't it just ,,,,,, I don't know pop out of the ocean right into my arms?”

“if that's how it worked, do you think I would have entertained you all that long?”

“fine, you win,” you admitted, gritting your teeth

“dont hit your head on the rocks or drown like you did before–” he jabbered.

“you know ,,,,, I really miss two minutes ago when I didn't know your existence,” you retorted, as you dived into the water, missing the smirk on his face

After several minutes, you found the shell and you swam back to the silver haired boy

aND HE WAS SURPRISED AS FUCK?

“y-you found the shell?” he gulped

“yeah, why do you sound so panicky?” you asked, as you handed it to him, noticing the change in his tone

“nothing,” he scoffed. “I thought your intelligence quotient was so low that you would drown again,”

You only huffed in annoyance as you watched the gash on his leg disappear in an instant

“how did you get hurt anyway?”

“i was trying to save your dumbass from drowning.....”

he stood up and mans was taller than you

“the wound is fixed, the attitude comes right out huh?” you snapped.

“this isn't attitude, this is just–”

“no, you're just a jerk face” you interrupted, getting up.

Before you could utter another word, in one swift motion he grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him

“first of all, it's not jerk face– it's Kang yeosang and second of all, I didn't have to injure myself just to save your petty ungrateful ass, but I still did.”

“well, god wanted me dead and now you get to find out why,” you managed to choke out, hoping he wouldn't notice how fAST YOUR HEART WAS RACING

He let go of your wrist as he rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time

“do you want to get back home or not?”

“yeah, so that I can forget your existence.”

He mumbled a ‘fine’ and jumped into the water

and you jumped after him

you could see his dark emerald green tail and as it came to the middle part, it become almost white, similar to his hair color

“hold on tight and pray that I don't strangle you,” he wrapped his arms around you and held you close to his chest

I mean ,,,,,, dude was a dick but he looked hELLA FINE AND YALL SEE HIS CHEST??

he swam at literal lightning speed like you were there before you even knew it??

the storm had passed and you could see lifeguards, friends and family on the shoreline

You were in still water, small waves here and there but nothing too strong

“the coast guard is going to come here for another round to search for you–pretend you're unconscious and just let your body float,” he instructed.

“what if I get only farther and farther away from the shore?” you asked and he rolled his eyes

“you need to stop asking me stupid questions ,,,,, and- I'll be here to supervise.”

“okay then um- thank you ,,,, yeosang.”

“you're welcome–” he let go of your body and you let your body float on the water, till you felt a boat near by, eventually taking you out of the water

you eventually pretended to regain consciousness and was happy to be reunited with everyone

you also got scolded by everyone but you felt as if something was missing

sure you didn't like yeosang but he still saved you and you just ,,,,, kinda liked having him around even if he was annoying

I mean he made your heart race and get you all giddy for some ,,,,,, reason

this incident happened a little over a month ago and you spent all your time missing yeosang?? even though you like barely knew him and he was a dick lol

you went back to the beach, without anyone around and just walked along the shoreline till you felt your foot hit something

it was emerald in color?

yeosang's shell??

was he in trouble?

you panicked internally because you hoped he was okay

you picked up the shell and looked around,

but you still couldn't see him

you saw a rather large rock so you decided to swim towards it in hopes of trying to spot him from the top

and you got there but unfortunately the rock was too steep and slippery and so you were trying to find an edge where you could get on top from

unaware that Yeosang was watching you struggle and grinning at your stupidity

“you do realize– I have been looking for that ,,,, every where,” you heard someone say, making your heart race and you ended up bumping into his chest ,,,,, again

“you dick– if you were here ,,,, why couldn't you help me?”

“sorry it was fun watching you struggle–” he smirked

“rude– but I found your shell so- are you okay?” you asked with geniuine concern

He sighed, “oh god- I have to tell you something....”

“what?”

“you see ,,,,, I had originally sent you on a wild goose chase when I sent you to find my shell–”

“what do you mean?”

“actually no one except the mermaids themselves can find their own shell,” he scratched the back of his head. “unless–” he paused.

“unless?”

“unless they are your significant other....”

#ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez headcanons #ateez yeosang #yeosang #yeosang ateez #kang yeosang #yeosang x you #yeosang x reader #yeosang imagines #kang yeosang imagines #ateez x y/n #ateez x reader #ateez x you

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littlemspeachy · 3 years

Text

This Conversation is Getting Older and Older

Part Two of You Keep Me Waiting

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Murder, A character is racist

Word Count: 3.8K (Yup y’all are getting more to read)

Draco stares at where Hermione was once stood and sighed before muttering a repairing spell that fixes the broken picture frame, then came organizing his notes for Yazmeen while he was out.

"Hey, Draco, it's Yazmeen. I came for your notes on the death eater case," Yazmeen announced, peeking into his office.

Draco shot the younger girl a smile. "Yeah, I was getting them cleaned up for you. I know how much you hate having to work with illegible writing."

She laughs and shakes her head. "It's fine, you're fine. It's other people on this floor I have to worry about. But um.."

Draco looks up at her, an eyebrow raised.

"Nevermind, I'll talk to you when you get back."

Draco nods and hands over his revised notes. "Take good care of them. They're the only kind."

"I'm pretty sure that I can read your actual notes. But thank you anyway."

Draco smiles at her and watches her leave before grabbing his things and following after her.

"You know, for such a smart wizard, I came in here easily." She says coldly.

Draco pauses in his living room, unsure how to start the conversation.

"Daphne, I made it sure you could come in."

"You need to sign them," Daphne says, pulling a pen from her purse and setting it down on the divorce papers laid out before her.

"Not before my father dies," He responded, voice tight.

"I don't really care about your feelings about your father, and he's practically a shell of a human anyway. Why do you think he's back at the manor?" She shot back, staring pointedly at Draco.

Draco stays quiet because she's right: His father doesn't do anything but look outside to the garden, and he isn't improving his mother's health either in fact, she's gotten worse because of his father being back/ He was thinking of killing him, but after working in law enforcement he wasn't sure how that was going to work.

"Just sign the papers. This isn't for you; it's for me, so get over yourself." Her voice annoyed at how long this situation was taking her.

He sighs because she was right: He was being selfish. Making them stay married even though they haven't been in the same room for longer than 10 minutes in the past 8 years unless it was an event that was centered around his mother. So he walks over to sign the papers.

"Your mother misses you, you know, and she wants an explanation."

Draco pauses the signing of his last mane to look at the woman in front of him before he goes back to signing his last name.

"I don't know why you continue to visit her."

"Because at least one of us to maintain the image of a proper person. We all can't go running around like children on the playground."

Draco rolls his eyes equally as annoyed at his now ex-wife. "Listen, here're the documents, just send me an owl with a court date, and I'll make sure to be there."

Daphne just sighed and slipped the papers into her purse, and leaves through the front door. "You need to talk to her. Also, I poured out the tea. It was getting old.

Draco simply stares at her leaving, leaving his house and his life.

Maybe it was better this way.

He steps out of Hermione's fireplace and into a living room. A room that he knew way too well for simply being fuckbuddies with her roommate.

"I thought you had better wards up 'mione." A familiar voice commented from the other room.

"I did. It was Yazmeen who let him in." Hermione said, watching Draco step out of her fireplace. Fred followed her gaze and watched as Draco got reacquainted with the apartment. Draco noticing their gaze on him.

"Are you two just going to stare at me? If so, I could've met you at the train station," Draco commented, annoyed.

Fred laughs. "Some people never change. I'll see you when you get back," Fred said, smiling at the brown-skinned woman. He pauses at the door. "Keep her safe, Malfoy."

That, for some reason, catches him off guard, but he manages to get out a quick, yeah.

Hermione watched Fred leave before turning back to the blond-haired man who has moved out of her living room.

"You ready to go? I need to call a cab." Hermione asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. Don't know about you, though... Seemed a bit preoccupied." He shrugs, back turned away, looking at some artwork on the wall.

Hermione doesn't validate the statement and instead goes to call a cab. "One is in the area, and it'll be here in about 3 minutes."

Draco doesn't respond, so they exist in silence before Hermione asks, "You've been here plenty of times.. You don't stay over like you used to?"

Draco turns quickly to face the curly-haired woman. "Yeah, unlike like some of us, we have work to do."

"Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It's obvious half your stuff isn't here, and with Fred being over, I'm going to assume it's at his place?"

All Hermione does is glare before going to look outside to her window. She notices the yellow cab outside, and instead of telling him of the new development, she simply grabs her bag and leaves but unfortunately for her, Draco is a smart man, and he quickly follows after her.

The ride to the train station is filled with tension and silence. Draco likes to think that he wondered if he overstepped a boundary, but then he remembered that he could care less about how he picked at her sex life. If she wanted to do that to him, he could do the same to her. But due to that pettiness, nobody spoke until they were on the train and even then, there wasn't much talking done.

"How are you?"

Hermione glares at him from her seat before rolling her eyes, annoyed at the question "You left me Draco,"

"You left me too; this wasn't a one-person thing,"

"So when were you going to tell me you were married?"

"I wasn't then, and I'm not now."

"Tell that to the gossip magazines."

"Tell that to the gossip magazines that wrote back to back articles about you and Krum? Since when did you listen to them? Also, when did you start caring for me outside of the bedroom?"

"I don't know but stop asking like you weren't the one knocking on my door at first."

The silence informs them both that neither of them have been good. Not that they were ever good, especially not back in college. Running to each other to find something familiar only to go back to hating each other the next day. That's what made the sex good, they both think. Too much passion made anything feel good during the moment, but it's in the morning that you have to wonder whether it was really worth it.

"So are you with him now? You hop from one ginger dick to another?

"Oh, I didn't know you were ginger, and it seems like we're both following patterns."

That one shuts him up because he realizes that he hasn't changed and only moved on to her intern, whose skin looks like the woman's sitting in front of them when the sun hits it just right.

"Also, I don't mind you having sex with Yazmeen, but having sex with every black woman in our office is.... A bit suspicious."

Draco doesn't know how to respond to the claim, so he simply changes the topic "Are you going to Harry's wedding?"

Hermione's eyes snap from the blond man to the window across from him. "Of course, I'm the maid of honor."

Draco isn't really surprised by the admission, "What an Honor. But you know it's surprising that she gave birth before being married."

"Not really.. Might have been going at it for a while, but unlike you, he can stay committed."

"What are you so mad at me for?"

"I don't know? How about we start with the fact that you left Daphne right after getting married, only to start sleeping with me 3 months later. And then lying to her about it. She thought you loved her; I mean, sure, we all knew it wasn't going to last. But she wanted to at least make it work. But there we were fucking in the backseat while she was in the store."

"Listen, it takes two, don't pretend like you're innocent." He shot back-way too quickly for a man who wanted to seem unaffected from the claims.

"That would be a good claim, but there you were in my bed way past time for you to go, talking to me about the future and how uncertain you were and all that other bullcrap only for you to be in a dedicated marriage. It'd be a bit different if you both didn't give a damn."

Draco sat in silence because she was right. Always right.. Never wrong. Never wrong in the classes they were and certainly never wrong about the life they lived

"Well, we're getting a Divorce... to legalize the situation."

Hermione glares at him. "So that's what makes this better? A divorce after what? 5 years?"

Draco wants to say yes, but after knowing the woman sitting next to him for the past 18 years, he knows a warning sign he sees one, so he drops the subject.

They both know that they'll need to talk about this again, and they didn't need to read tea leaves for that. But just like tea, it can only steep for so long before becoming bitter, or maybe they were past that stage, and it just needed to be poured out.

The train comes to their stop, and they go to a cab that was already waiting for them; they both think that even though Sanchez is annoying and strict, he still knows how to be hospitable if hospitable meant a very homely looking hotel.

"Is this it? The place we're supposed to be staying?" Draco asked, voice full of disgust.

"Yea, this was the address given to me by Sanchez."

Hermione and Draco stared at the small white and brown homely inn that looked like its been around since the dark ages.

"Let's go. It's only a night." Hermione whispered, giving a nudge to Draco.

They climb out of the car and were preparing to go in before the driver rolled down the window. "I'm going to be here by 6 tomorrow evening to take you back to the train station and if need to floor just tell the lady at the desk and she'll help you. Good Luck."

They nod before walking in and realizing that the inside looks exactly like the outside. Homely and cold-one of the great perks of being in a city next to the water.

"Check-in for Sanchez," Hermione said, smiling at the hostess.

Draco stayed in the back and looked around, hoping to see something that would indicate the age of this inn, but unfortunately, nothing stood out but a pattern in one of the supporting beams.

"Hey, got the key," Hermione says, jingling the key in his face before walking down the hallway where the supposed hotel room was.

"15, 25, 35, and 45 is the lucky number."

"Why are the doors numbered like that?"

"I don't know you're the pureblood you tell me,"

Draco rolls her eyes at her response. "Why the hell would I know that?"

"The wizarding world is a weird place, and rich kids are supposed to be cultured," Hermione joked before seeing their bedding situation. "Of fucking course, how brilliant."

Draco was confused by her sudden change of tone until he saw what she was talking about: One bed.

One medium-sized bed in a room that was freezing cold.

As Draco starts to say something, Hermione cuts him off. "Listen, we can talk about this later," Hermione sighs before setting down her bag. "I'll go down and call us a cab to the station."

Draco watches her walk away with only her purse, confused as to why she never lets him talk. But he dismissed the thought when he casted a quick charm to keep their bags safe.

They get to the station and head over to sign in at the front desk "Officer Granger and Officer Malfoy is here to talk to... Your head officer, officer Pearce I believe, is the name, about the recent killings." Hermione says confidently while leaning slightly on the wooden desk.

"Why does he look so confused?" an officer asks while coming up behind the secretary that was checking her computer for confirmation.

"Listen, he doesn't do fieldwork; he does office stuff. This is his first time. Give him a break," Hermione confides, laughing slightly at the Blond man's facial expression.

The officer laughs and checks the computer that shows the confirmation. "Alright, let me check your IDs, and I'll get you guys back there." Draco and Hermione gave their IDs to the officer, and he nods that suggests they follow him to the back.

"Have you seen any pictures of the body? or any of the bodies?" Draco asks. He hasn't seen a dead body since the war, and even though it's been 10 years, the sight of them still can keep him up for days. He wonders how Harry moved on. He thinks he should ask him.

"No, we were only asked to get the statement from the old lady, and even then, it's a bit spotty."

"Well, can you fax a copy to our office so that we have a hard version in London? We're not going to take long." Hermione says, her voice more determined than usual.

"Yeah, I can do that for you. Alright, here's his office, by the way, he doesn't like this kind of stuff, so... You gotta be smart." The officer they were following says before knocking on a door that had the name of Anthony Pearce.

"Come in." A baritone voice commands from behind the door.

"Alright, good luck."

Hermione and Draco give the optimistic officer a nod before heading into the office.

"Hello Officer Pearce, we are investigators sent from London to talk to you about the report that was given to you after a recent murder against a young woman," Draco says, looking around the office before landing on the officer's face.

Hermione thinks that the officer looks like one of the men from Mama Mia.

"So when did they start sending in young ones with fancy outfits to deal with murder cases?" He inquired before lighting a cigarette.

"We aren't dealing with the murder it's self we're just trying to find out about the... uh.. designs being left on the bodies of the victims. I'm officer Malfoy, and this is my partner Granger." Draco shoots back at the man. He knew they were young for their field; there was no denying that, but they were good at their jobs, and there will be no one that questions that, muggle or not.

Officer Pearce raises a brow before tapping his cigarette into the ashtray. "Is that so? If you're only dealing with the designs, why do you want the lady's statements?"

"We want her statements because she was the last one to talk to the lady that was most recently killed, and she could possibly tell us some information that could help us understand what's going on," Draco responds with a slight huff.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Dracos body language 'how immature. You don't hold any power out here, pretty boy.'

"If that's the case, I could've just sent the report to your office. Why come all the way here for something we could've faxed you?" The older man responds, a demeaning edge to his voice.

"Because we're going to interview the woman tomorrow, and since we were in the city, we decided to question you directly. But if you don't want to comply, I can and will have you arrested for obstruction of justice." Hermione responds, a clear tone of annoyance in her voice.

Pearce stares at Hermione and then looks at Draco. "You should keep her around; she gets stuff done. And I'll get you the interview report, and I can't tell you anything because I didn't conduct it and what was said was nothing out of the usual... But I have received some pictures of the, uh, drawings." He says before going through a drawer and bringing out a manila folder.

"Can we look at them?" Hermione asked softly.

"I can make you a copy," He says, putting out his cigarette before heading over to the printer. "Now, why'd you come here? These murders have been happening for a while."

"It's because our office thought these were stand-alone cases. It's London.. And unfortunately, people get killed all the time." Hermione says slowly, making her seem sadder than she actually was.

"Understandable, but Liverpool does have its crime.. Luckily we're not in the city, so it's a bit easier for us." Pearce says before handing Draco the first page.

"If you don't mind me asking... Why were you so resistant to us knowing the information?" Draco asked, passing the page to Hermione.

"Because whoever is doing this is getting off scot-free. And they're sick cunts too. Imagine, instead of just killing the bloke, you carve patterns into their skin. I tell ya it's some of them, refugees." Pearce says, handing them the next two copied pages.

Hermione looks up from the pictures. "Sir, this is obviously not Arabic. And it's interesting that a cop that is supposed to serve his community has those kinds of feelings for the people he's supposed to be protecting."

"Nah, none of them live around here, and a good thing too. Don't want them to be committing crimes and stuff." Pearce says, walking back to his desk and lighting another cigarette.

Draco noticed the fist tightly wrapped around the paper before speaking up. "Thank you for your time here, sir... If we hear anything thing new, we'll make sure to let you know."

Pearce simply nods before going off into his own world as they left.

"What a fucking bigot." Hermione angrily whispered. Draco stayed silent shocked at the bluntness of the officers' rudeness, but then he realized that his father was the same towards muggles.

They walked to the front and thanked the secretary, and then went to an empty-looking coffee shop across the street.

"My father was like that, wasn't he?" Draco asks while they were sitting down in their chosen seats.

Hermione looks up from the small menu provided at their table. "You think?"

Draco drops the subject before reaching over and grabbing the files.

"How may I help yous?" A bubbly waitress asked Hermione, almost completely ignoring Draco.

"I would like a cup of coffee, straight please." Hermione says with a smile that makes the younger girl blush.

"And I would like a cup of earl grey and some of the strongest stuff you have." Draco says dryly.

The waitress doesn't respond but jots the items down. "That'll be right out."

Draco watches the waitress retreat to behind the bar. "What the hell was that about?"

"Aww, are you mad that you didn't get attention?" Hermione teasingly giggled while picking up her well used legal pad.

Draco didn't respond.

"Hey, Malfoy, do you work with still work with ruins, or are your college years being wasted on artifacts?" Hermione asks, laying out the pictures in front of her.

"Mainly artifacts and studying the charms people put on them," He responds before the waitress came over.

"Here is your drink and alcohol, and your drink, ma'am, is still being made." The waitress says in a light, bubbly tone.

Hermione nods in recognition, but her brows stay furrowed in concentration.

The waitress leaves before Draco speaks up again, clear liquid in hand.

"Don't drink that right now," Hermione says, quickly looking up and snatching the glass of clear liquid. She sniffs if before confirming. "It's moonshine.. That's some powerful stuff, and if you want to coherent while researching, then I suggest you leave that for later." Hermione informs before pulling out an empty flask.

Draco looks at her curiously before pouring the clear liquid into the flask.

"Look, they didn't die graphically. There's no blood if that what you're worried about." Hermione says, looking up at the blond across from her.

"No..That's- I just.. If something big happens when we're on this case, we're going to become much more than researchers, and I just- I left the field for a reason, and I really don't care to be put back in. I was perfectly fine at my desk and perfectly capable of what I was doing."

Hermione looks at him deeply at him before looking back down at the ruins. "That's wonderful to know, and I understand I really do, but we've been working under Sanchez since our internships. And I know that he's smart enough not to let his head researchers go into the field blindly just to get killed. He knows we can handle ourselves out here. Meaning you gotta start trusting yourself. Plus, after this, we'll probably get a nice vacation offering once we're done, so suck it up and let's figure this out before more people die."

Draco sips on his tea, considering the words of the intelligent woman in front of him.

"Here's your coffee, ma'am... Buy the way it's on the house." The waitress interrupts, setting down the requested coffee.

Draco rolls his eyes at the "sincere" action before grabbing his wallet and handing the young woman 100 pounds. "Keep the change."

Hermione gawks at the exchange but doesn't voice her comment until the woman goes away.

"Do you know how much money that is?"

Draco sends her a confused look before replacing his wallet with his glasses. "All right, what are we looking at."

"Well, firstly, you're starting to look like Harry for one. I get you both are basically office mates but geez. And secondly, I think it's Egyptian. Like something found in tombs, but then there's more stuff that I can't really think of... Maybe Mayans?"

Draco grabs a pictured and stares before shaking his head. "Possibly, but there seems to be a mix of several curses among the charms. Those are most certainly from Egypt, and that's probably how the doctors died," He says before grabbing another picture. "Yeah, because they look like hieroglyphics, and so they decoded them and then cursed themselves. But how he got them on the body is what's' really confusing."

Hermione nods before asking, "Don't you have tea with you?"

"Yeah, but I know it's cold, and so I got a new cup."

A new cup indeed.

#dramione #fanfic #chapter two #draco malfoy #hermione granger #harry potter #black hermione granger #fanfiction #series

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averykedavra · 4 years

Text

Leave No Trace (Chap. 9)

[Masterlist] [Ao3]

Being so high up, Patton saw the moment the sun peeked over the edge of the horizon. It was flaming red and sent little shivering streaks of color through the air. Patton waited until the whole peak of the mountain was bathed in sunlight before walking over to Virgil.

"Hey." Patton shook Virgil's shoulder. "Get up, okay, kiddo?"

Virgil mumbled something but opened his eyes.

"Good job!" Patton walked over to Janus. "Hey, you—"

"Already awake," Janus snapped.

"Oh!" Patton laughed. "My bad! Can you get up?"

Janus sighed and climbed to his feet. It was always a production watching Janus stand upright. His knees unlocked and his arms twisted up and his legs stretched, since every part of his body was a little too long for the other parts. He ran a hand through his hair and unknotted a few of the tangles before adjusting his shirt, pulling the yellow beanie over his head, and turning around. The morning light played off his nose and splashed around his mouth and made his eyes gleam.

"What are you looking at?" Janus asked.

"Oh—" Patton flushed. "Nothing! I—let's eat."

"Eat what?" Virgil asked, turning his knapsack upside down. A small shriveled apple bounced on the rock. "We're fresh out."

Patton checked his own knapsack. Yep, nothing. "Janus?"

Janus dug out a few bits of bread. "I still have some."

"Well, we'll eat that," Virgil said, grabbing the bread. "You can starve or whatever."

"Virgil!" Patton protested, crossing his arms. "That's not very nice! Janus is just as important to the group as us!"

Virgil gave Patton a long look. Patton glared back.

"He can take it," Janus said. "I need food less than you anyway. And everything you packed tastes like sawdust."

"I didn't pack any meat, I know," Patton said apologetically. "'Cause I didn't eat meat. Maybe you can go, um, find some?"

"Doubtful, unless a sheep falls out of the air and lands on the path."

"Well, finding food can be a later problem." Virgil tossed Patton the bread. Patton fumbled with it and it fell onto the rocks. He picked it up, brushed it off, and ate it anyway. He was hungry! And germs were the least of their worries right now.

"What's the now problem?" Janus asked.

Virgil walked over to the cliff and pointed down.

Patton joined him, a few feet from the edge to be cautious, looking out over the path. It was narrow and crumbled, winding down the side of the cliff to the trees far below. They couldn't be more than several hundred feet up. That's what Patton told himself. Still, it was definitely enough to kill anyone on impact.

Janus glanced over. "I don't see the problem."

"You're kidding, right?" Virgil waved his hands at the cliff, the sky, the Woods, and basically everything. "It's a very large problem."

"I'll just fly over—" Janus cut himself off, staring at the cliff. "Right."

"Right," Virgil mimicked. "You can't fly, idiot. And neither can we."

"There's a problem," Janus admitted. "A large problem."

"Hey, it's not—" Patton glanced down and his stomach made a little swooping motion. "Not that bad," he finished, scooting away from the edge.

"Is there another path?" Virgil asked, looking around.

"I only see berries," Janus said.

Virgil stared at the berries. "I want to eat the berries."

"What?" Patton grabbed Virgil's hand. "No eating the random berries!"

"They're probably poisonous," Virgil said. "But I'm hungry and we're going to die by falling in like thirty seconds, so who cares?"

"No possibly-poisonous magical berries." Patton tiptoed closer to the edge of the cliff. "We can do this! Just…don't look down?"

He promptly looked down, squeaked, and scrambled away from the edge again.

Virgil nodded, looking somewhat terrified. "Snake, I don't suppose you magically healed overnight and can fly us out of here?"

"Would you be willing to ride on me if I did?"

"No," Virgil admitted.

"Let's not worry about what-ifs," Patton said, approaching the cliff for a third time. This time, he managed to balance on the edge and ignore the screaming of his mind—you're going to die you're going to die you're going to die—so he counted that as a win. Third time's the charm!

"I suppose there's nothing else for it," Janus said. He looked the least wary, but he could also fly, at least in theory. "Who first?"

"Anyone but me," Virgil said. "Maybe you two should just go rescue Logan and Remus. I can camp out on this neat mountain. See you later."

This was where Patton would usually say that was perfectly fine, Virgil could do what he liked, and that he just wanted to see Virgil safe. Instead, he said "Not an option, kiddo. You're not safe on your own, and we need you here, so give it your best shot, okay?"

"Great." Virgil gave Patton a thumbs up and a grimace. "I'll try my best. Always wanted to die with my bro—best friend. And my worst enemy. A fun story to tell the grandchildren I won't have because I'm gay and about to die."

"Maybe we should attempt to tie ourselves together," Janus said. "Is there rope?"

"That's a nope on the rope," Patton said, giggling at the rhyme. "I forgot it."

"Any climbing tools? Like nails?"

"They're all metal," Virgil said, "so you guys stole them."

"Right," Janus said, not looking abashed. Then again, did he ever? "I should have known these knapsacks were useless. Onwards?"

"Onwards," Patton agreed, inching closer to the lip of the cliff and trying to keep his knees from knocking. He turned around and got down on his knees, scooching his way to the edge. When his first foot dropped off the cliff, he almost shrieked. He glanced behind him—mistake, there were the trees far below, some birds wheeling beneath him, he was up so high and he was going to die—and put his foot on the start of the path.

"Let's do this," Patton said to himself, trying to smile. Okay. Just inch that foot down—nope, too far, why were these rocks so slippery—yeah, he could stay there, his hand was firm—was it firm? Maybe it would slip—okay, don't look down, don't—oh goodness, he didn't want to die, he couldn't help picturing himself broken on the forest floor—

"You're doing great," Janus said.

Patton blinked up at him. "I climbed one foot down."

"You haven't died yet," Janus pointed out. "Just trying to be encouraging."

"Yeah, 'you haven't died yet' is very encouraging," Virgil groused from where he was standing behind Janus, hands in his pockets, scowling at nothing in particular. Janus barely bothered to roll his eyes in response.

When Patton had somehow managed a few feet down—it took him a few minutes, it would take forever to get down the cliff, he'd slip and mess up and fall to his death—Janus slipped down the cliff above him. Janus was much smoother and stronger with his climbing than Patton, although he was probably just as tired and in pain from his broken wing. Patton envied his ability to keep an impassive face even when overlooking a steep drop to certain death.

Virgil, however, did not keep an impassive face. He started swearing as soon as he placed his feet on the first rock and shuffled down the path. The swearing was near-constant. Occasionally it pitched upwards or grew louder during a difficult section, and once in a while it was just a hiss when Virgil lost his step, but it became a steady rhythm. Patton found himself moving to the rhythm of the cuss words, nodding his head along. They were very creative. They also helped him keep his mind off the yawning abyss below them.

So there was Patton, grabbing at the cliff so desperately that his fingers were already scratched and bleeding, sidling his way down the narrow path and reciting I-have-Fae-luck-I-will-not-die in his head. Then there was Janus, who was completely silent, eyes narrowed and focused. Finally was Virgil, swearing almost cheerfully, his breathing shallow, occasionally flipping off the drop below them.

Patton would have chided Virgil for all the bad language. But he figured in this case, it might actually be justified.

Patton tried not to look behind him. Or down. He just focused on the rocks in front of him. It was like climbing the little rock pile by the mason's place! Except very large and deadly. He found out he could slip his hands into cracks in the rock and keep them steady. Then he found out that if he stumbled while doing that, his hand twisted and got lodged in there. He dangled for almost a minute before Janus was able to help lever his wrist back out. Patton cradled it for a second then kept climbing down. Yeah, it hurt, but so did the rest of him.

He had no idea how far along they were. It felt like it had been forever. His knees and feet already ached. Maybe they were almost halfway down. Maybe they were almost down! Patton would just have to turn around and check—no. Nope! Not looking down. Not today.

Patton looked down.

They were barely a quarter down the cliff. No, not even that. They'd made it about fifty feet. Birds still wheeled below them, large and bulky, screeching wildly.

Oh, come on. They'd never make it!

No. That wasn't optimistic. Everything would be fine! He'd never get anywhere with that kind of naysayer attitude. He was starting to sound like Virgil, and although Patton's kiddo was wonderful and special, he wasn't always the best role model.

Virgil's swearing grew louder and more frantic. There were several loud thunks from above. Patton looked up and sideways but only saw Janus' pale hands and a snatch of Virgil's shirt.

"You okay?" Patton asked.

"Crossbow," Virgil said with the same vehemence and venom as all the swear words. "It keeps bonking me in the head or trying to fall off my shoulders or getting in the way of climbing."

Janus crossed his hands and kicked off a rock to reach another one. "Drop it."

"What?" Virgil asked.

"Drop the crossbow."

"Why would I do that?" Virgil spluttered. "It's my only weapon!"

"Weapons don't do any good against magic."

"Oh, really? Didn't I save all our lives with this crossbow? Shot a snake in the eye?" Virgil huffed. "Or did you forget already?"

"If it's going to get you or one of us killed, drop it." Janus' voice was cold. "I'd rather worry about one of us probably dying now than some of us possibly dying later."

Virgil was quiet for a long time. "I like this crossbow."

"Good for you," Janus snarled, "but if you're going to fall into me and send us all tumbling, I don't like the crossbow."

"I don't want to lose it." Virgil's voice was quiet. "It's my parents'."

Janus huffed. "I'm sure they'll forgive you if you break their crossbow. Better than a broken ribcage."

"No, that's—" Virgil swallowed. "My parents aren't…alive. Actually."

"Oh." Janus paused. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Did you like them?"

"My mom used to bake me blueberry muffins," Virgil said. "My dad spoke three different languages and he would read bedtime stories in all different voices. My mom was the one who taught me how to shoot and my dad was the one who taught me when."

"So…good?"

"Yeah." Virgil nodded. His voice was tight. "The best."

"What happened?" Janus asked. To any outside observer, he appeared entirely uninterested. But Patton noticed the way his eyes flickered over to Virgil, the way his top lip covered his bottom lip slightly. He was interested.

Virgil's brittle voice gained a new strength. A new anger. "Dragons happened."

It was Janus' turn to be silent.

"Not just my parents," Virgil added, and Patton could hear the hurt underneath the anger. He wasn't sure if Janus could. The anger was loud and crackling and easy to hear. The hurt was quiet and buried and faded. But still strong, if you knew where to listen. Patton knew where to listen. He'd been there when the hurt was all there was, when Virgil cried more than he smiled, when Patton would drag him out of bed and crack jokes and laugh enough for the both of them. Patton was always the positive one, because if Patton wasn't happy enough to lift Virgil's spirits, Virgil would just fall back under.

Those were bad days. Virgil had moved forward, and Virgil had grown up, and Virgil had been stronger than anyone Patton knew. Virgil had learned how to smile. Virgil had started to call Patton's moms Mom and Mama. Virgil had gone outside, made friends, rubbed shoulders with Roman and talked books with Logan and chased frogs with Remus. Virgil had—Patton hesitated to say gotten better, but gotten happier. He was alive now in a way he hadn't been back then. He was grumpy and cynical and still a little scared, but he had kept fighting, and he was still alive.

Their friendship was shaped by that. Even though they had changed so much, deep down, Virgil was the quiet little boy sitting in the guest room with his head tucked between his knees. And Patton was the one using every pun in his book to get Virgil to eat.

Patton was the helper, plain and simple. It was his job to make Virgil feel better.

Virgil would hate to hear that. Especially now, when Virgil had mostly overcome his grief. But it was true at heart. Patton was the one who helped. He was friends with Virgil because he made Virgil happy. If he failed, if he put Virgil in danger or made Virgil upset, he wasn't Virgil's friend anymore. Friendship was about helping. So Patton helped.

It was so much easier to help Virgil now. But it was also harder, because without a single problem—lost family, vicious nightmares, destroyed town, anxiety—Patton never knew what to focus on. He helped Virgil indiscriminately, but he always felt like he put emphasis on the wrong things, badgered Virgil about the wrong problems, showed affection in the wrong ways. Just helping wasn't enough anymore. Patton had to learn to talk to Virgil as a friend and not just someone who was hurting. It was a long process, learning that, and sometimes Patton wondered if he'd ever learned it at all.

One of the rules for Virgil? Virgil never talked about his family.

Good job, Janus! You managed to be annoying enough to get Virgil to tear down his walls in order to spite you!

And Virgil was tearing down all of the walls.

"Two sisters," Virgil said to his hands. "One brother. He was a few years older than me, and my sisters were younger. I—" A rock fell from near Virgil's feet, and he yelped, scooting away from it. "I had friends, too. Cousins. Aunts. Uncles. When you're little, your town is the whole world. The only person I knew outside of it was Patton."

Patton tried his hardest to figure out what Janus was thinking. But his face was blank and every step was still sure on the rocks.

"It's terrifying, when you're a kid," Virgil said, "to lose all that. It'd be terrifying for anyone, but—it was all I had, basically. I had nightmares for a while afterwards. It was so hot and bright and I couldn't breathe—it felt like the world was on fire. And it was, sort of. My town—my family—yeah." Virgil swallowed. "I fell down the well. It's the only reason I survived. I fell and broke my leg and waited there. People from other towns came the next day, and I screamed so they could find me. It took them hours to figure out how to get me back up to the surface."

He'd never heard all of this before. At least, not at once. He didn't know about the well.

"It's funny, kind of. Any other day, falling in the well would be dangerous. We always got warned about it as kids." Virgil laughed a little. "But y'know, dragons are more dangerous. When I finally got out of that well, everything around me was smoke and ash. There wasn't any color for miles. It had been a dry season, and most of the houses were wood, so…yeah. The fires spread before anyone could stop them."

Patton really, really wished he could give Virgil a hug. But he was climbing down a cliff. Virgil was too far away.

"Why are you telling me this?" Janus asked. There was a strange note in his voice. Patton was pretty sure he was really saying stop. Stop telling me this.

"I dunno," Virgil admitted. "You asked about my parents. And…you asked me to hate you as a person. Not a dragon. I—I can't do that. And that's why."

Patton slipped on a rock and Janus caught him around the waist, not meeting his eyes. Patton flushed at the sudden contact and steadied his feet. Janus let him go far too quickly.

"I didn't personally kill your family," Janus pointed out, and Patton could almost hear the defenses rising up around him.

"I know."

"Not all dragons are the same."

"I know."

"They probably didn't even mean to cause those fires. We don't kill people unless intended."

"I know!"

"Generalizing an entire species based off of one experience is like hating all humanity because once in a while, one of you kills another one! It's ridiculous—"

"I know!" Virgil yelled. "I know, okay? I know! Can't you shut your stupid face for one second?"

Virgil grabbed a rock and chucked it off the cliff. It sailed past the birds squawking below and crashed through the treetops.

"I don't even know why I tried to talk about this," Virgil muttered.

"You're looking for someone to blame." Janus took a deep breath, balancing on the path, the wind whipping his hair. "And you're scared of me, so I'm the perfect target. I get it. Just—don't let it get in the way of what we're doing. No, say, having emotional conversations while dangling off a cliff."

"I'm not scared of you!" Virgil protested. But the little crack in his voice said otherwise.

"Kiddo," Patton started to say.

"It's fine, Pat," Virgil interrupted. "You heard Janus. We should focus on climbing."

"Right," Patton said.

So he focused on climbing. It was already getting warmer. The cool wet surface of the cliff was rapidly heating up, and Patton knew that soon, it would be uncomfortably hot. He tried to stick to the shadows, but there were few. The cliff faced due east and was getting a full blast of mid-morning sun. Sweat trickled down his back and pooled in the dips in his palm. He stopped to wipe his hands off, but it never lasted, and it made climbing even more dangerous. His hands kept slipping on the rocks. Janus always reached out to steady him. Patton couldn't see if Janus was doing the same thing for Virgil. It didn't seem like it. Virgil was up higher than Janus, and Janus liked Virgil even less than he liked Patton.

The birds circled below them, getting steadily larger, their raucous screeches always catching Patton off guard. He hummed a lullaby to try and tune them out. It didn't really work. He didn't know what kinds of birds they were—knowing the Woods, it could be anything from eagles to flying horses—but he had the sickening feeling they were vultures. Waiting for Patton to slip. Waiting for Janus to be just a bit too slow.

The path widened, the path narrowed, the path crumbled at the edges and forced Patton to lean against the cliff and inch along a tiny sliver of flat rock. Every time he thought he'd gotten used to the height, he looked down, and his head spun. The trees were closer but not nearly close enough. He'd still plummet to his death if he made the wrong move.

Patton was glad that climbing took up so much of his attention, though. It meant he couldn't dwell on what had just happened. He felt like he should have done more, intervened somehow. Virgil was clearly upset. Janus was not helping. There was a problem and Patton should have fixed it. Instead he'd just stood by, afraid to intervene.

If he wanted to be a peacemaker, he had to try a little bit harder.

Patton was making his way over a collection of reddish rocks when he noticed the path bent into the cliff and disappeared. It took him a minute or so to reach it. The little ledge they had been following dipped into a large cave, then came back out again a few feet away.

"Why aren't you moving?" Janus asked.

"There's a cave," Patton said slowly.

"So? Walk past it."

Patton nodded and approached the cave. It was dark and cool with jagged edges and a few boulders around the sides. On one hand, he longed to stop and rest. His hands and feet were sore, his muscles were tight, his face was sweaty. But the cave made him shiver. He didn't want to find out what kind of animals lived in that cave.

"Keep walking," Janus told him as Patton glanced to the side and scanned the darkness for any sign of movement.

"I am," Patton said.

"Wait." Virgil had reached the edge of the cave. "Guys…can we stop here?"

"Yes, at the mercy of whatever could possibly be living in this cave," Janus said. "Keep walking."

"Sorry, kiddo," Patton said. "We need to keep moving."

"I'm dead on my feet." Virgil stopped walking and crossed his arms. "I bet you're the same, you just won't admit it. If we keep stumbling down that cliff all tired and sore, we're gonna slip and die."

Janus looked at the dark maw of the cave. "We could die waiting here."

"Dying in cool, quiet darkness? I'm okay with that." Virgil shifted. "Please? I—I think it could do us all some good. Pat's been stumbling, and Janus—you've already got that wing injury. We all need the rest."

Patton looked to Janus, who sighed. "Fine. A brief rest."

"You're my new favorite person," Virgil declared, immediately crumpling to the ground and spreading his arms out. "Sweet, sweet solid ground."

Patton sat down at the edge of the cave. He had to admit, the shadows were extremely refreshing. It felt like getting dipped in a lake.

However, the last time he was in a lake, it hadn't ended well.

Janus stayed on his feet. "Are you rested yet?" he asked after maybe two seconds.

"Sit down," Patton encouraged. "We don't want you falling, right?"

Janus hesitated before sitting in the middle of the cave entrance, a few feet from the edge of the cliff. He kept his hands on the ground, ready to spring upright at a moment's notice. Patton wished he could reach out and remove the tension from Janus' shoulders. Janus was always ready for a fight. Admirable, and understandable given the circumstances, but it made Patton kind of sad.

A gust of wind blew out of the cave, sending Janus' hair rustling around him. It looked like a waterfall, the same color as dark chocolate. A bit of it fell away from his face and Patton saw the mottled pink edge of the burn. He quickly looked away.

"I'm hungry," Virgil said to the ceiling of the cave.

"Too bad," Janus said. "We're out of food."

"No, I'm hungry because I smell food." Virgil sat up. "That's not my nose playing tricks on me, right?"

Patton sniffed. There was a distinct smell of fresh fruit. A combination of apples, plums, and cranberries, plus a tart thing he couldn't name. He sniffed again, sure it was a fake scent, but it only seemed to get stronger.

"Trap," Janus said without hesitation.

"Probably," Virgil agreed.

"Yeah," Patton said.

Virgil paused. "Still wanna look, though, 'cause I'm hungry."

"It's coming from inside the cave," Patton said, standing up. "That's strange—why would there be fruit in there?"

"Because it's a trap," Janus said, standing up as well. "Do I have to spell it out for you? T-R-A-P trap. It's no scales off our skin if we just stay here. Or better yet, get moving again. We have more than half of the cliff yet to climb."

Virgil bit his lip. "Can we check it out? Just for a second?"

Janus stared at Virgil for a long time. "You know what? Sure. Go get yourself killed. I don't care. It'll deprive me of listening to your idiocy for one more second."

"Thanks for the seal of approval." Virgil climbed to his feet and started walking into the cave. His steps rung out against the stone. "Wish me luck."

"I'm coming too," Patton said, rushing over to Virgil. Together, they looked back at Janus.

Janus sighed so loudly that flames flickered at the edges of his mouth. "I hate both of you."

"Come on!" Patton hurried into the cave, waving a hand.

The first thing he realized was that the cave was dark. He probably should have thought of that sooner. A few steps in, and the light from outside was already dimming. Patton looked back at the opening and saw blue sky, wheeling birds, and Dragon Mountain in the distance. It wasn't too far away. They'd be able to run if they needed to.

He knew he was kidding himself. Anything could be lurking in the shadows of this cave—it was taller and wider than all of them, dwarfing even Janus in his dragon form, filled with pockets of shade and nooks of shadow. A flicker of cold, damp wind ran down Patton's back. He shuddered and pressed closer to Virgil, who reached out and took his hand. Janus came last, fists clenched, watching the walls warily.

Then the cave twisted around a wall. Patton looked at the others—if they went in there, they'd be completely cut off from the outside light. He had a feeling that was not a good sign.

"It doesn't seem to go too far back," Janus said, squinting. "There's something in the way of the wall, though. I can't make it out."

"What?" Virgil asked, pulling out his crossbow.

"It's not moving," Janus said.

"I'll take your word for it," Patton said. He couldn't see anything but darkness. "We should light a candle."

Virgil frowned. "Don't candles, like, explode in caves sometimes? If there's weird gas?"

"I don't smell any weird gas." Patton opened his knapsack and pulled out a candle. "And we've made it this far! Where's my flint?"

"Give it here." Janus took the candle and blew on it. A small spurt of fire flashed from his mouth and caught on the wick. The candle flame grew, stuttering and stammering in the occasional winds, but a mostly steady orange glow.

"Thanks," Patton said. "Hold it up for us?"

Janus stepped forward and held out the candle.

A large shimmering spiderweb stretched across the back of the cave.

Patton squeaked and stepped backwards, stumbling over his feet. Virgil held him steady. "It's fine," Virgil whispered. "No spiders. Just web."

Well, there had to be a spider to make that web, right?

"There are fruits." Janus lowered the candle and cast its light over several piles of things beneath the web. "And bread. And meat? A lot of food."

"I changed my mind," Virgil said. "No food. That's creepy food. Let's get out of here."

"Wait." Patton frowned at the spiderweb. The usual pattern of polygons and striped edges was disrupted by thicker lines that crisscrossed haphazardly. "Is that…is something written on it?"

Janus raised the candle again. Light gleamed along each thread, revealing a message haphazardly scrawled in the webbing.

FOR THE LITTLE FAE AND HIS FRIENDS. EAT WELL. I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

"Huh," Virgil said, breaking the silence. "That's really terrifying. Let's go."

"It's poisoned," Janus agreed. "Definitely poisoned. I have no idea how she found us, but if she's capable of leaving a message, she's capable of getting us here. We should leave."

"Wait," Patton said, stepping forward. Something didn't add up. "Why leave us the food if we'll 'see her soon?'"

"Because it's a trap to get us stuck in the web or something." Virgil primed his crossbow and fired it at the web. The web immediately wrapped around the bolt, cloaking it in silver threads several inches thick. The bolt fell to the ground, smothered in spider silk.

Virgil fired another bolt. That one just bounced off the cave and disappeared.

Patton nodded to himself and stepped forward, grabbing some of the food and putting it in his sack.

"What are you doing?" Janus hissed.

"Pat—" Virgil stepped forward. "Get back."

"We sprung her only trap." Patton slipped a few bunches of grapes into his knapsack. "She wants us to have this food."

"Yeah, because it's probably poisoned or something!" Virgil glanced around. "Pat, don't you remember the rules? Never eat food—"

"—given by a Fae. I know." Patton stared down at the loaf of bread in his hand, hot and steaming. "But…I have a feeling it's safe."

"Gut feelings," Janus snapped. "I told you not to follow those!"

"No, not a magical gut feeling. Just…a hunch." Patton bit his lip. "She wants us to survive. She's got some sort of trap laid, and she wants us not to starve so she can spring it."

"Reassuring," Virgil said.

"Look." Patton stood up and tied up his knapsack, full to bursting with fruits. "I'm taking the food, and so far, it hasn't hurt me. We can decide whether to eat it later. Just—it can't hurt to have it with us, right?"

"It'll weigh us down," Janus muttered, but he was already kneeling.

Virgil grumbled for a few more seconds before reaching out and sliding a few pears into his knapsack. "You'd better be right about this," he said to Patton.

"I hope I am," Patton said.

When their knapsacks were full, Janus ushered them out of the cave. For a horrible second, Patton was afraid that they wouldn't find the exit, that the cave had closed and blocked them in forever. But they turned the corner and saw the light, the edge of the cliff, the dazzling blue sky. Virgil almost ran forward.

"See?" Patton asked. "Not so bad, Janus."

"We'll regret this," Janus warned, but there was no bite to his words.

"I feel kind of good now," Virgil said, walking over to the cliff. "Like I could tackle the world!" He glanced down and swallowed. "Whoops, okay, never mind."

"We made it this far," Patton said, adjusting his knapsack. "We can make it the rest of the way. Right?"

"No time to waste." Janus slipped past them and balanced on the edge, walking towards the other end of the path. He grabbed the side of the cliff and managed to walk in a straight line for a few seconds, before giving in and turning to face the cliff again. Patton followed him, feeling a little more rejuvenated. Virgil came last, already starting to swear.

Immediately all the rest fled Patton's bones. It took about two seconds for his feet to start hurting again, and five seconds for the scratches on his fingers to open up and sting again, and ten seconds for his entire body to ache with tiredness. He was back in the glaring sun, burning up like an ant under a magnifying glass, pressed to a searing rock wall with a dizzying drop below.

Virgil swore cheerfully as a small rock fell past them towards the birds below. The birds seemed to be closer, or they were just larger than Patton had thought. Or both.

Janus was practically hugging the cliff, fingers digging into the rock. With Janus taking the lead, Patton's own steps became more sure, since he could watch Janus' feet and follow his exact path. But he didn't have Janus there to catch him. Virgil did his best, but Virgil didn't have the quick reflexes that Janus did. So Patton felt more marooned than ever.

But when Janus stumbled, Patton reached out and caught him. It was an instinctive response. He wrapped his hand around Janus' wrist, dug his feet into the path, and leaned towards the cliff. Janus caught the edge of the cliff and found his balance. Patton let go of Janus' wrist like it had burned him. He felt like it had. Janus' skin was cool and somehow more searing than the sun itself.

It was silent, except for the occasional gusts of wind over the treetops, Virgil's merry swearing, and the squawking of the birds below. The birds seemed to only be getting louder. Patton risked a glance down, and saw that they were congregating even closer. They…were they birds? They didn't look like birds. They had wings, but those were four legs. And was that a tail?

"Jan?" Patton asked.

"What," Janus snapped, trying to squeeze between two rather large rocks.

"You know those birds we keep hearing?"

"Yes?"

"They're getting closer?" Patton gathered his courage. "And, um, they don't look like birds."

"What do you mean, they don't look like—" Janus glanced down and his eyes widened. "Those definitely aren't birds."

"What are they?" Virgil twisted around and almost fell off the cliff. "Okay. That's…that's weird. That's not good. Janus, what are they?"

"Gryphons." Janus started to climb faster. "This is not good."

"Gryphons?" Patton repeated, his voice pitching up. "I don't like that!"

"They're nasty," Janus agreed. "Pack animals. Their beaks are sharp, but it's the claws you really need to watch out for. Hopefully they haven't noticed us."

"We've been up here all morning." Virgil's voice shook. "They've definitely seen us by now."

"They must be waiting." Janus looked down again. "I don't like this at all."

"Maybe they won't attack?" Patton asked, knowing he was grasping at straws. "Maybe they're bored or don't believe in violence."

"They're scavengers," Janus said. "So they will only not attack if they think we're falling anyway. Since we're not?"

The screeching below them was reaching a fever pitch. Patton's hands slipped from the cliff and he steadied himself, trying to breathe.

"When?" Virgil asked, his voice shaking even more.

"Any moment now."

"What should we do?" Patton asked. "Stop moving? Keep moving?"

Janus opened his mouth and closed it again. "Nothing. If I could fly, we might have a chance, but—there's really nothing we can do. Not on a cliff."

"We can't just wait here!" Virgil said, fumbling for his crossbow. He teetered on the edge of the cliff and Patton grabbed his shirt. "We gotta—"

There was a loud swoosh and Virgil swore. Patton blinked. Whatever had happened, it was too fast for him to see. Just a flash of feathers and talons.

Virgil bent over, cupping his face. Blood dripped between his fingers. It splashed onto the rocks. A few wayward drops plummeted to the trees far below. They were so close—Patton could make out the path twisting through the Woods, could see where the cliff leveled out—but there was an hour of climbing between them and the ground.

Another swoosh, this one nearer. Patton tried to flinch away. By the time he moved, the gryphon was already gone, leaving a few bloody scratches on Janus' wrist.

"Keep moving," Janus managed, wiping the cuts off on his shirt. The stains were vibrant against his yellow shirt. "That's all we can do."

"Keep moving. Easy." Virgil inched forward. A flash of wings so close that Patton felt them on his nose. Virgil swore loudly again, diving out of the way.

And Patton saw the gryphon. It perched on a rock above Virgil's head. It was large, larger than Patton expected. Its fur was sleek and black with a coiled tail and a large golden beak. Its claws dug into the rock, little bits crumbling off and falling down below. It opened its beak and screeched.

Patton winced and tried to cover his ears. The moment he shifted, he almost fell off the cliff.

The gryphon dove again. Patton's heart stopped. He stumbled backwards aimlessly, clinging to the rocks. A blossom of pain formed on his chest. He gasped as blood began to soak his shirt. The gryphon wheeled away, still screeching, golden claws tipped with red.

"You okay?" Virgil asked.

"It only skimmed me," Patton said, his voice shaking. If he had been a second slower, it could have ripped his heart out.

"Keep moving!" Janus ordered. He took a step forward and another gryphon divebombed him, claws outstretched. Janus batted at it, lost his hold on the rocks, and teetered over the cliff. Patton grabbed him. His hand left bloody fingerprints on Janus' shirt.

"We can't," Virgil said, priming his crossbow. The tip wobbled. He aimed it at the gryphons above, the gryphons below, a gryphon that nicked Patton's cheek. One bolt was fired. Miraculously, it hit the wing of a gryphon, sending the animal caterwauling its way down the cliff. The other gryphons didn't seem bothered by the loss of their friend. Why would they? There must have been two dozen of them. Maybe three dozen.

They dove. They dove again. Virgil fired randomly. Janus doubled over from a slash to the gut. Patton got a cut across the forehead. Virgil lost a chunk of his ear. Virgil's swearing was loud, but louder was the calls of the gryphons, and loudest was Patton's blood rushing in his skull.

Patton tried to scoot along the path. Blood dripped down his face and splattered on the rock. It was sticky and slippery at the same time. It kept him in place and loosened his grip. He fell backwards and steadied himself, miniscule pebbles away from empty air, Janus bleeding and Virgil running out of bolts, gryphons diving in a flurry of wings.

Swish. Virgil yelped and pressed himself into the cliff.

Swish. Janus batted at the wrong side of his face.

Swish. Patton tried to kick a gryphon and teetered in place.

Swish. A cut lip.

Swish. A bleeding shoulder.

Swish. Claws grabbing for a throat, too close for comfort.

Swish, swish, swish.

Blood, yelling, the last bolt disappearing to the forest below.

They were going to die here. They were frozen, pressed against the cliff, and they were going to die here.

Patton's eyes stung. He barely noticed. His chest hurt far worse. His whole body hurt. He felt slippery and shivery and one wrong move away from coming apart.

"What are we going to do?" Virgil asked, his voice raw. "Janus, please, tell us what to do."

Janus ran a sleeve across his face. It only smeared the blood down his cheek. The blood mixed with the burns, pink and red and yellow eyes and a half-open mouth. His knuckles were white on the rocks. He stared down at the gryphons. He swallowed. There was a little catch in his throat.

"I don't know," Janus said.

Patton didn't hear him over the ruckus. But he could see the little shake of Janus' head and figure it out from there.

"I don't know," Janus must have said, and now they were going to die.

Patton looked down at the trees and wondered if he'd survive the fall.

There was another swish. He didn't bother to move out of the way. What good would it do? The gryphons were swifter than Patton by far. Claws sliced through the air next to his leg. They missed by an inch.

He could barely stand, much less walk. Much less climb down the rest of a cliff.

Virgil was swearing again, his voice breaking on every other word. Patton was tempted to join in. But his mouth was dry. Funny, the rest of him was slick with blood.

"Leave us alone!" Janus yelled at the gryphons, trying to throw a punch. Janus still fought to the end, didn't he? Admirable. Useless, but admirable.

Virgil's swearing grew louder and louder. It mingled with the shrieks and Janus' own yelps of pain and Patton's pounding heartbeat. It was a cacophony of sounds. Patton closed his eyes and pressed himself against the cliff wall. He didn't want to see the world anymore. He wanted to try and magic their way out of this. He was a Fae, after all. Why hadn't he gotten any useful powers? Why was it only weaknesses? Why couldn't he teleport, curse the gryphons, keep his friends from harm? Useless. Useless. All he was good for was being the support, the backup chorus, the helper. And he couldn't even do that. When it came down to the line, Patton was a failure.

He clenched his teeth and tried to draw on magic. There had to be some. There had to be something to save them. It couldn't just end here! They couldn't die thanks to gryphons. Logan and Remus still needed them.

Swearing. Shrieking. A swish that made Janus yell in pain. Another swish.

A scream.

Not the scream of a gryphon. A person's scream.

Virgil's scream.

Patton's eyes flew open.

Virgil was falling. His crossbow slipped from his hands. His face was sticky with blood. His eyes flashed with terror. Patton seemed to watch in slow motion as his feet left the ledge.

Patton didn't even think. He lunged towards Virgil, arm out.

His fingers met fabric. Virgil's jacket.

Then Virgil fell against the cliff and Patton almost yelled. He fell to his knees, grasping at Virgil's jacket, his fingers refusing to stay still. Virgil was slipping. Patton's arm ached like it was tearing apart at the joints. Virgil was still screaming, scrabbling wildly at the cliff, unable to find a handhold.

"Stay put!" Patton pleaded, trying to haul Virgil up. It was a no-go. Patton wasn't strong enough for that.

A gryphon divebombed them, and Virgil twisted to the side to avoid it. Patton stumbled and found himself leaning towards the edge.

He was going to fall. They were both going to fall.

"Let go!" Virgil yelled, grabbing at Patton's hand.

"No," Patton insisted. He needed to pull Virgil up. Virgil couldn't fall.

A hand grabbed the back of Patton's shirt. Janus.

A swish. A stabbing pain in Patton's arm. He fell forward, leaning on a rock, trying to catch his breath. Everything was spinning. Virgil was still dangling. The fabric was slipping from Patton's fingers.

Virgil slipped.

Patton grabbed his hand.

The hand slipped.

Patton held tighter.

Patton slipped.

Janus' hand tightened on Patton's shirt.

Patton scrambled for a purchase.

Virgil hung at the end of his arm, kicking wildly, batting at the gryphons who circled them, a few curiously flying through and slashing Virgil in the leg. Blood dripped from him all the way down to the trees. Such a long way down.

A swish. Patton fell forward.

No!

"No!" That was Janus. "Pat—"

"Pull us up," Patton pleaded. He knew Janus couldn't. He knew Janus wasn't strong enough to save two people at once.

"I can't." Patton managed to twist around and look Janus in the face. Blood and burns and gashes along his hairline. He somehow managed to look in control, even balanced on a cliff, arm trembling. His eyes flashed as a gryphon skimmed his head.

"I can't," Janus repeated. It looked like the words caused him physical pain. Or maybe it was the injuries.

"I know," Patton whispered. He tried vainly to tug Virgil up. But his muscles wouldn't work. His body had given up already. It knew he wouldn't be able to find his balance. Wouldn't be able to save Virgil. Wouldn't win this. All he could do was hold on and balance on the edge of a cliff. All he could do was stay put.

"I—" An emotion flew over Janus' face, quick as a gryphon. "You need—fall."

"What?"

"Fall. Let yourself fall." Janus stared into Patton's eyes. "Both of you. I will catch you, but you need to fall."

"You're kidding," Virgil yelled, his voice raspy. "We're gonna die!"

"We're going to die either way!" Janus yelled back. "It's dangerous up here! On any other day, I wouldn't risk it, but the only way to survive is to fall. Sometimes that's what you have to do."

Virgil was quiet.

"I promise I'll catch you," Janus pleaded. "I promise."

Did Patton trust Janus? Sure. With a plan. With a witty retort. With being a jerk.

With his life?

Janus needed them. Janus wanted to get them to safety. Janus wanted his own safety.

And Janus looked desperate. Afraid. Close to tears. It was the kind of thing nobody could fake.

"Catch me?" Patton asked. His voice barely reached above the screeching. He was sure Janus hadn't heard.

But Janus nodded.

"Now?" Patton asked.

Janus nodded again.

Patton closed his eyes. Screeching and swearing and—no. No sounds.

He felt, instead. He felt Virgil's hand in his, tight and warm. He felt Janus' arm around his back. He felt the rocks digging into his feet. He felt the burst of air on his neck as a gryphon passed by. He felt the blood pooling on his skin.

He felt the place where he needed to let go. Where his hand was dug into the rock. Where his nails scraped the dirt. He just had to unclench that hand.

He was dangling, he knew it. He was going to fall. He was going to fall and die and kill Virgil and why was he trusting Janus—

"Please," Janus said again, placing one hand over Patton's. Prying at his fingers. His hand was cool and covered in little scratches and unclenched Patton's knuckles, one by one.

Patton breathed out.

He let go.

And the world fell around him.

[Masterlist] [Ao3]

#leave no trace

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spartan-ghost-m-k · 4 years

Text

Across Dimensions part two:

Awakening:

Ghost POV:

I groan as my biotic implant feels like it bounced around my head. The air is cool against my face.

My vision returning too me as I see Phoenix sit up as well. "It appears that we are not dead, just... misplaced." I say massaging my temple to try and relive my headache.

I look around seeing a thick jungle around us the air was thick and damp, the place looked beautiful, the sound of birds chirping and leaves rustling, then my ears picked up something else. Gunfire, I checked the HUD of my visor and found I only had my side arm (A/N:the pistol in the drawing I think it's the Carnifex hand cannon. please correct me if wrong.) and stand to my feet and walk over to Phoenix and help her to her feet. "You're right about that we are misplaced." She says surveying the area. "Were are we Ghost?"

"I don't know but we need to move, I hear gunfire." I go run in the direction of the firefight.

"Phe do you have a weapon?" she reaches for her back, nothing then reaches for her side to pull out her Predator pistol. "How many clips? I only have five."

"five, maybe we'll find more of our stuff on the way."

"Either that of more clips." I say as I put a barrier over my armour shield.

As we weave through the jungle into he direction of the noise I spot marines in a strange uniform and rather tall people and, or mechs in heavy armour and a brunette man in what looks like an officers uniform, they were under heavy fire from these strange machines some looked like the old style drones just glowing and sideways floating and some looked like skinny glowing FENRIS mechs and the other ones I had no idea what the hell they are.

"We need to help them." Phe motioned the her pistol and looked at me.

"We don't have enough clips." "We don't but we have an Omni-blade and we have biotics."

"sure... but we don't know them."

"We are members of the Alliance Military, It is OUR duty to help our fellow man, so let's go."

"Yes Lieutenant." She says as I sneak along the edge of the battle getting behind the strange robots.

Saying a silent prayer as I launch myself over a fallen tree firing at one of the dog-like ones, then another as Phoenix was next to the other marines firing at the other machines, creating a biotic sphere around her and the others as they look to her in mild fear, but quickly return to firing at the machines, I biotically charge at one of the larger ones and then used nova pouring the energy from my shields into it, as the larger one dissolved into a orang-yellow glowing dust. I then use stasis on a group of the dog-like ones and then throw.

A larger one appeared behind me about to bring it's blade down on me, as I quickly turned around activating my omni-blade and stabbing it in the side, at that the current battle came to an end with the strange marines finishing of the remaining forces, Phe waked to me looking exhausted from using biotics after what happened earlier on the Normandy, god knows what state our implants are in.

"Hey phe, you good?"

"Yeah, out of clips, a bit tiered and slight headache, but otherwise good." She says, as she looks o my nose. "Umm... Ghost your nose is... uh bleeding."

Surely enough I put my gloved hand to my nose to find the warm crimson liquid on my finger-tips. "Probably due to damage to my implant, either that or doing too many things at once again."

Our discussion was ended by the sound of guns being cocked and aimed at us, me and Phe immediately put a Barrier over ourselves and activated our omni-blades, I feel more blood slowly drip out my nose. A brunette woman stepped forwards *so not mechs, just really tall humans.* I thought.

She had a strange looking pistol at us. "What and who are you?" She demanded, her voice filled with authority.

We looked at the tall female confused. Phe spoke up. "Don't you know what biotics are?"

"No." The brunette says coldly. I start to fidget, those machines could come back anytime or worse, and yet they're questioning us out in the open.

"Ok I may be speaking out of turn, but do you really think this is the right location to play twenty questions? Those machines could come back and we are all unprepared." I say, the brunette goes to argue further but the man in the officer uniform stops her.

"Lieutenant Palmer enough, the lady is right." He says looking around at the other marines.

"We need to find somewhere to treat our wounded and try to re-establish sturdy communication with the Infinity." The brunet woman speaks up again. "We still don't know them and their armour is not standard UNSC or civilian wears and judging by the design definitely not spartan."

"I understand that Lieutenant." He turns to us with a dorky smile on his face.

"I'm commander Lasky and this is Lieutenant Palmer." He says to us as he motioned to the brunet woman.

"Nice to meet you commander, I'm Lieutenant Kaen, an my companion her is Lieutenant Panshura." I say briefly and professionally.

"But with all due respect, sir. This is hardly the place for introductions either." I say as I use my Omni-tool to scan the nearby area detecting a nearby structure.

"I have a location on somewhere That will be able to provide ample cover and a safe place to tend to the wounded, and hopefully you can re-establish communication with you ship." I say as me and Phoenix start to walk to the location I sent to her Omni-tool.

I look over my shoulder at them. "Feel free to stay there, or follow us. I ain't the one in charge of you."

After a few minuets of walking I check behind me to see the marines, Spartans, the Lieutenant and the Commander following behind. I lean to phe. "What do you recon about them?" I whisper to her.

"Lieutenant Palmer seems to have her guard held high with us, while Commander Lasky seems like the type of person who keeps an open mind." She whispered back.

I laugh slightly. "I mean the Commanders a bit of a dork though."

"Kinda reminds me how you are talking to the opposite sex normally." She retorts.

"Heh kinda like you talking in general."

"At least I can talk to people, without keeping it brief."

"At least I can keep it brief."

"Keep it brief huh?" She says smirking, as I flush a bright red.

"That's how I meant!" I yell embarrassed, whispering is out the window.

"See that's were keeping 'it brief' goes wrong, people tend to misinterpret thing."

"You know exactly what I meant!"

"Oh, do I now?" The conversation was interrupted by a short cough. we turn around to see an unimpressed Lasky. "How much did you hear?" I say meekly.

"Everything." He says looking at me. "So I'm a 'Dork' ey?"

"Nothing wrong with being a dork." Phe says with a shrug. Lasky gives her a 'really' look.

"Eh. I tried to save ya." She says patting my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it as an insult, but I guess that's up to the person's interpretation. I am sorry if I offended you." I say slowly sinking in on myself *I never apologise.* I notice Phe look at me mildly surprised. "wow. You've reached a whole knew level of dysfunctionality." She says sarcastically, laughing slightly.

I just start walking looking at the ground refusing to speak. "What do you mean by that?" I over hear Lasky asking Phe.

"Oh, she never apologises. You must've really made her unconfutable for her to apologize. Without argument." She says laughing slightly.

"Should I consider that an honour?" He says, I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Most people make her unconfutable, especially ones she finds cute." She says laughing slightly.

As I increase my walking speed. And I wasn't paying attention as I feel something tug my ankle as I fall forwards and down a slope, my helmets visor finally smashed cutting the ridge of my nose as I land with a thump. "I think there's a fucking slope!" I yell up minorly in pain, as I pull my helmet off. *No use now.*

"Hey! There's a slope, I think it's pretty steep." Phe says

"No shit Sherlock!" I yell up, as she takes a step and slips down.

She stops just besides me as I feel a sharp pain in my left shoulder. "Hey Phe, my shoulders outta place!" I see the others found a safer route down as they walk over to check on us. "You two ok?" Lasky asks.

"I think I fucked my ankle over, but I'll be able to walk." Phe responds.

Lasky looks to me. "And you?"

"Well, my helmets fucked and My shoulder is dislocated but I can deal with that..." I say looking down at my literally twisted ankle.

"I think I'll be fine... Just... Just need to... Uhhh... Walk it off. Yeah. Just gotta walk it off." I say painfully popping my shoulder into place with a sickening pop, I try to stand up but as I put pressure on my ankle I scream slightly and fall back down.

"I don't think your ankle is meant to face that way." Phe says looking slightly worried.

"I agree, the condition of your leg leaves you in no position to walk." He says taking a step towards me, helping me up and proceeding to attempt to loop my arm over his shoulder, but there was a major height difference also I can't walk without support so he took it upon himself to carry me bridal style. "W... What are you doing, I... I can walk..." I say getting gradually more and more embarrassed. Lasky looks down at me with a serous face.

"No you can't your ankle is facing the wrong way." "But..."

"Actually you would be surprised, she's walked on worse." Phoenix says, attempting to save me from further argument.

"Such as?" Lasky asked.

"Well, something fell on the lower half of her left leg and crushed below the knee, she voluntarily hoped for a full hours walk."

"She is not doing that, her ankle needs to rest and have no stress on it, at all." And he starts to walk.

"Stubborn bastard." I grumble under my breath.

"I heard that."

"I hope so." I say crossing my arms, looking away from him.

"And she's being a child, again."

"She does this often?"

"For someone as hard-ass as her, she's surprisingly immature."

"Heh, reminds me of some people I know."

"I'm going to the back." Phe says as she slows her walking pace and lags at the back.

"You didn't have to carry me." I say meekly.

"Well, you and Miss Panshura assisted us, and even though you did kind of insult me..."

"I said I was sorry."

"... You helped me and my men, so I'll help you." He says looking down at my smaller frame in his arms.

"Thank you... and... and I'm sorry for insulting you." I mumbled.

After halve an hour and a few altercations with the strange machines, and of Lasky carrying me walking we reached a very advanced looking structure buried in the forestry.

"Commander this is the structure I detected on my map, there's a clearing a bit further along you could try to secure as a landing zone." I informed him.

"Thank you for finding the location for us."

"It's standard protocol, if lost in a unknown location and if you have wounded find a safe structure of a defensible position and head there immediately."

"That makes sense. "

"Also Commander?"

"Yes?"

"Can you put me down now, I want to scan the structure, and maybe some of the plants, see if any have medicinal uses?"

"Sure but either me or another marine will accompany you. You still haven't explained what a Biotic is."

"I understand I guess we have plenty of time now for me and Phe to explain a biotic, but I also have the information on my Omni-tool." I say activating it and pulling up the files on Biotics.

After a few minuets of him reading the information he looks at me. "So it's like telekinesis?" He asked curiously.

"Kind of, it is hard to explain but it has a multitude of uses, but just believe this me and Phe are on your side." I say reassuringly.

"Hey, I'm convinced. I think that the Lieutenant will need more convincing that me." he says smiling slightly. I laugh slightly. "So Commander, You said that you would allow me to take scans of the architecture? May I?" I say keeping eye contact with the taller male. He thought for a few seconds. "Sure, but I did say with supervision, and since your leg is still the.. uh... way it is. I will accompany you." He says wrapping an arm around my waist to allow me to walk properly. I huff in mild annoyance. "I'm not a child you know."

He looks down at me from the corner of his eye as we were walking about the large space of the structure. "Well you sure do act like one." He says mildly amused.

I was about to say something in response but we stop by what looks to be a terminal. "Scan away, Little Biotic." He says almost teasingly.

"You do know I can make you have to cling to the ceiling right?" He gulps.

After a few moments going through the alien terminal, and learning about these Forerunners, and me and the Commander poking fun at each other.

We both hear the Lieutenant's voice ring through, Commander picking p movement outside the door." A few seconds of silence. "It's the Master Chief, sir."

"Affirmative Lieutenant." As he wraps his arm around my waist again. Escorting me back to the main area.

#this is cringey #i am sorry #captain lasky x oc #mass effect x halo #Across Dimensions

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ah17hh · 4 years

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My 69 favorite copy-pastas... nice via /r/emojipasta

My 69 favorite copy-pastas... nice

Look 👀 for 4️⃣ the 💁‍♀️gummy 😽 bear 🐻 album ✒️in 🎈 stores 🏬 on 🚘 November 🏗 13th 🥨 with 🍠 lots 🌪 of 🐉 music 🎶 videos 📢 and ➕ extras 💰

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OMG 😲 Bêstįę 👯 are 😫 you 🤔 possesed 👻 what 😳 i 🗣 am 👂 just 😾 trying 😯 to 😲 squeeze 😛 some 🤩 tomato 🍅 juice🥤

Röłl👶🏻up🤭tö thē😤pærtÿ🎉wïth🏮my😼𝕔𝕣𝔸ℤ𝕐🤪pink💗w𝒾g🐷cañt🙈get thru the😿dœr🚪cus😾my ßøø𝔱ÿ𝔰😳töø big😳 One percent is h̶u̸m̶a̸n̵👤, ninety-nine is ✨𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓈𝓉𝒾𝒸✨ Just a sec, 🅸 😀 gotta fix🔧 my 𝖑𝖎𝖕𝖘?

I😔shane😳yæw😌go🏃on💅record🐈saying😠I🍞am👀not😡a😤fucking💢phëaðœophìslê👧👦

I👤climbed🧗‍♂️ out 😔 of 🎇 my ✋ head 💀 and 💞 watched 👀 myself 👩 implode 💣 a 🌼 thought 🧟‍♀️ without 🤦‍♂️ a 💃body 🙃 ought 👯 to🤫 be 🙏 a 🔫 shot 😞to 🦄 take 🌺 a 💃 load 🥑 off 🎱 my 🏵 brain 🧠 is 👑 poisoned 🤪 and 👖 I'm 😵searching 🧐 for💡 the 🕯 antidote 💅 but 🤡 every 🎤 time ⌚ I 🗑 find 💰it 💐my 🐌 defense 🌎 is 🌹screaming🎧 oh no 🎼 you ❌ dont 🙅 Woah... 🌟

🎺 It seems ⏰ today 📆 🎺 that all you 🙎 see 👀 👁 👁 🎺 is violence 🎆 🔫 in movies 🎥 and 😏 sex 😍 🍆 💦 😩 on tv 📺 🎺 But 🚬 where 📡 🌎 are those 🕺 good 😊 😄 old 👴 fashioned 👕 👚 👗 values 💸 💵 💴 💶 💎 💰 on which we 👨‍👨‍👧 used to rely? 👯 👯

welcome 🤑 to the ✊ bread 🍞 bank 🏦 we sell 💶 bread 🥖 we 👥 sell 💵 loafs 🥖 we 🌞 got bread 🍞 on deck 👁 bread 🥖 on 👣 the floor 👽 TOASTED 𝙍𝙊𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀𝘿🔥bro 😡 stfu 🤬 i 🗣 just need ☑️ a baguette 🥖 and 💪 brioche 🍞 we 👩‍🍳 dont ❌ have either ✌️ of 👁 those 😾 you 🧒 can 💡 get the 🕯 gluten 💴 free white 👨🏻‍ bread 🍞 or 🗣 the potato 🥔 bread 🥖 what ⁉�� the fuck 👺 is 😡 gluten 💢 take ✋ that 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙩 👅 out 🙅

Mukuro 😤 Ikusaba 👻 the✋ sixteenth 1⃣6⃣ student🎒lying 🤥🤫 hidden ❌ somewhere 🔃 in 🙊 this 😲 school 📝 the ✋ one 💯 they ✨ call 📞 the 🍋ultimate😶 despair 😭😰 watch 👀 out ⭕ for🗿her 👩

Drag💓drag🧚‍♂️de💕body👤bag 💼 dump🐵it🌱in🌺de⚡️river⚓️but🤫you👍keep💔the🗿liver🚧

I😿can💅hear👂Daniel 👨🏻walking🚶down⬇️the 😾street🛣tap👣tap👣tap👣tap👣listen👂to✌️his👨🏻feet 💅

✨daddy🤠daddyy👺hurryyy😵i👁saw 📽something😢scerryyy👻daddy👨i 👁think🧠there’s🧜a🔆spider🕷on🌈my🥖floor😢

Where😏oh👀where🐸is🤩our😉little👺Nina✨where😔has👁our👩🏻‍Nina ❤️gone❔Böœ👻🙈🙈

ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞 ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞 ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞 ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞ɟɐol🍞

shake😳the🛑blanket🛏shake⚠️the🦖blanket💤turn🔄the☁blanket��oooover👉👇👈👆

if i 👁 die😩☠️don’t🙅‍♀️❌cry😢😭just🙁look👀up⬆️to↗️the sky🌅and say💬GÓØD👍BŸĘ👋FÃŁĮŚHĀ😎

attention‼️attention💅🏼one1️⃣two2️⃣three3️⃣are🗿you✨ready☂️ŸÏPPËÊ😀äfjekos👁is⛅️the🔒name✏️of🌈my☝️School⛪️

spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿 spinch 🌿

If🤔 i👱‍♂️Saw👀 that😟 damn😡 thing😫 in☝️ My😀 living 🛋 room🏚 I’d 👱‍♂️ Stomp 👣 on⬇️ It😩 until⏰ it😅 was😉 a🅰️ Small🦐 brown💅 stain🤣🤣🤣

are😻you👉👤are😡you👉👤coming🏃to🧚the🤙tré🌲they😳strung🍑up⬆️A🔮man👨they✨say🗣who👄murdered🔪three👨‍👩‍👦

How it chews to gum five feels✨ Gum Gum😍😍 Sense your stimulate😳😩

✨kôœræpįkå✨

💕😜bungee🍬gum🤩🤪has✨the💯📏properties🏫🍭of😻both✌rubber⭐and💧gum🍬

𝔁𝓾𝓮✨𝓱𝓾𝓪🧚‍♀️𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸😻𝓹𝓲𝓪𝓸🗿𝓫𝓮𝓲👺𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓰🤩𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸😼𝔁𝓲𝓪𝓸👣

have🤔you😒ever😔been😡snaked🐍by🙃a🤨 friend👧then😪just😾for 🤦the🗣️clout👀they'll😈do😣it😕again🙄

i😱cUt😳mY🤡fInGeR💗oN🙄mY😞mOmS😅rInG👿i 💅hOpE💔i✌🏼cAn😘sTilL😇dAnCe😣

it’s😌jesus✝️say🗣hello👋jesus✝️B̷̻̄Ö̸̤͙͚̰̈́A̷̹͊̓Ḩ̸̥̼̥̅̈H̶̗̯͇ yeah😏, city🏬! Sity won🏅, shity too🌚, city treee🌲, city for🐚, city fye🔥, I never stanky bye🙋🏿‍♀️! Yeah🚼 heyyyyy! 😫

Farting 💨 is🚶 so💇‍♂️ funny🤣releasing 😝 flatulence 😤 is🌙 definitely 🤪 humourous 🙉 it ⛲ releases🧐 endorphins💅in🤤 my😃 brain🧠this🚱 making🤭me✌️laugh🤣

THIS 😌 SCHOOL 🙉 IS 👀 MINE 😡 I 🗿 AM ✨ THE 😍 KING 👑 KOKICHI 🐭 OUMA↪️

I😏will👨🏽‍✈️sacrifice✈️my⚔️own🥄life⚰️for😈Pakistan🇵🇰🍇🔫

chicken 🐓 wing chicken 🐓🐣 wing hotdog and baloney chicken 🐓 and 😈 macaroni chillin ❄❄ with 💘 my 😋😎 homies 🏾

🙅‍♀️ Frick meat lovers 🙅‍♀️😡🚫 All my homies 👯‍♂️ eat the grass 😩 from the central plains 😝😏🌿🌱

I 👈 put 😏 my 🌠😤 😫🧀 right 🏿🙀 👌 foot 👞👣 in 🚪😋 and 😲 🚨🤷 take my right ✔ ✅ foot 👞 out 🅱🤔 🏎 then 😝👱 😥 put 🔥🏻 my 👧 👖🗼 left 🍒 🍒👈 foot in and 🏿✊ shake 🤝🤝 🤝 it 💯😩 all 🥜💯 💯 about. 💦💦

Imagine 💭💡 your 👏 card 💳 declines ⛔👎 at 😂 the 👏💦 tattoo 💉👨‍🎨 shop 🏬 and ➕🍽 they bust 💣🕐 out 💯 the 👏 sand ⛱ paper.. 😳🤦

Rawr🐲🐊 x3😋 nuzzles how are you😉🙂 pounces on you😛 you’re😃 so😄 warm🤒😈 o3o😏 notices😯 you have a bulge🍆 o:😯😮 someone’s happy😃 ;)😉😜 nuzzles your necky wecky😈😗~ murr~ hehehe😊 rubbies👋🤚 your bulgy🍆 wolgy you’re😌 so big😯😮 :oooo rubbies👋🤚 more on your bulgy🍆 wolgy it🚫 doesn’t stop🛑 growing ·///· 😐kisses😚😘 yo

I 👤didn't 🐈 fuck 🤬 my 👽 cat. I 🌸 didn't 👁 cum 💦 on 😳 my 💋cat. 😻 I 🧒 didn't 💋 put 👸 my 🌈 dick 🍆 anywhere 🧚‍♀️ near 🍺 my cat. 😽 I've ❌ never 😡 done 👉👌 anything 🏀 weird 🧘‍♂️ to 🎨 my 🏅cat. 😸

🌽come🌽today🌽and🌽get🌽some🌽Ć̷̭͚̟̱́ö̷̺̻̙͔́̄͑̚͜r̵̢̢̲̖͍̊̏̎̄n̵̡̧̹̥͖͘🌽or🌽we🌽will🌽sacrifice🌽your🌽n̴̡̪̈́̆͝͝ę̵̠̝̣̒́w̷̧͔̓͝ḅ̴̳̍̀͑o̷̯͈͔̽ŕ̷̡͇̦̯́n̷̝̦

my✨vâğîñå💕is🦋named🗿řōńàłð💋and🐬theres😹nothing😼you👋🏽can👁️do👂about🧚‍♀️it

bəąňß✨bəąňß🌞bəąňß⭕️bəąňß👣bəąňß😳bəąňß💕bəąňß❌bəąňß⛽️bəąňß☁bəąňß🥌bəąňß🖲

Ever 😆see 😱 me 👊 fighting 👍🏾in 💖a 🍯Forest🌲with✌🏾a 😠 grizzly🐻Bear? 👄HELP 💔THE😔BEAR💯

ӨЦΛΛΛΛ 🗿 Λ Λ Λ Λ Λ 🗿 ӨЦΛΛΛΛ 🗿 Λ Λ Λ Λ Λ 🗿 ӨЦΛΛΛΛ 🗿 Λ Λ Λ Λ Λ 🗿

oh 😮 geez 🙊 what 😟 a 🧚‍♀️steep 📉 hill 🏞 i👀 sure 🤖 hope 🙏🏼 i 🌱 dont 🚫 drop 💨 my 🤭 beans 🥫 woah 🤯 aragahha 😖 my ☠️ beannns 😫

I 😌 was 🤡 a 🤨 girl 👩 in✨a 🏠 village😑doin🤓alright 😳 then 😵 i 👹 became 👀 a 🧚‍♀️ princess 👑 overnight 😴

the 👄 name 🙈 game 👩 JUDY👾 judy🌶 judy💞bo 🎶 budy 🎵 boanna 💅 fanna💋fo🎂fudy🌈fe🌂

👽⟟⏁⋉⟒👽⟒⋔⍜⊑👽⍀⏃⏁⏃⌿⏃⍀⏃⟒👽⎅⍜⍀⟟⋔⟒👽⏃⋔⎍⋔⎍👽⏃⋔⟒⋏⍜👽⍀⏃⏁⟒⎅⏃⟒👽⌰⏃⏁⟒⟒⎅⏃⟒👽⋔⍜⟒👽⎅⍜⍀⟟⋔⟒👽⏃⋔⟒⋏⍜👽⍜⌰⋔⟒⋏⏃👽⎅⟒⌿⏃⎅⏃⍀⟟👽⏃⋔⟒⋏⍜👽 ⎅⟟⋔⟒⎅⏃⟒👽

säçrįfïćë👹säćrîfįčé👹sáćrįfîčé👹sàčrìfîçë👹 sâćrìfïčê👹sâçrīfïçë👹sâćrìfįčê👹säçrîfįćę👹

yæw 💕 yãêw ✨ yàáw 😻 yaw 👁 yãēw 🗿 yåėw 😬 yąęw 💅 yæ 🚿

this😚is😿the👄best🤪burrito🌯i’ve🤩ever♦️eaten💞yum🔓yum🗿yum😢

I 😳 don’t 💕 see😌 how 👁 you 👽 can🤦‍♂️hate 😜 from🧚‍♀️my ✨ side👄 of 🖤 the😈 club😹 you 🗣 cant👅 even 💅 get 🕴🏽in 💞 💁‍♀️

ÿoú tákë thę mœn🌚ÿøū👁takê thė šüń🌝yōu täkè 𝖾⋁𝖾𝖗𐒦tꜧĺ𝛈𝚐✨thät sèе𝙢Ꚃ lïkè 𝗳𝑢በ😹ÝƯ ştΐṛ〰️ï𝙩 𝐚ʟʟ ƯᎮ án ｗꜧ𝚎ņ🕑ÝỨṛ𝚎 ᵭņ𝚎 ṛᥲԂԂᥲ😝ṛṛᥲԂԂa

Hi, 🤚 you're on a rock 🗿 floating in space. 🌖 pretty cool, 😎👍 huh? 😕❔ some of it's water. 🤽‍♂️ fuck it. 🚮 actually, most of it's water 💦 ⛲ i 😀 can't even 🌒 get 🉐 from here 📍 to there without buying 🛍 a boat. ⛴⚓ it's sad. 🙍 i'm sad. 🙁😭 I miss you.

its 😔 gluten 💡 free 😰 ion 🤬 care 🤖 if its 👎 free 🎁 swear 👁 on ur 👱‍♀️fucking 𝙔𝙀𝙀𝙕𝙔𝙎 ⛸⛸ if you 👤 wanna fight 🤬 we🙎 gon 👄fight 👎🏽you 🦁 tryna 😠 be 🐝 on worldstar ⭐️ what ⁉️ you ✊ gonna 📹 record 🤳 it 🙊 yea 😼 i got🚶‍♂️ my 🙇 dollar 💵 store 🏬 camera 📸 *on* ✅ 𝙒𝙃𝘼𝙏𝙎 👀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 👁𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉 😼 𝙎𝙄𝙏𝙐𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙉𝙉 ✨✨the 😼 fuck 🤬 do 👏 you 👿 want ⁉️im ⭐️ the 🚶‍♂️ motherfuckin💎M̸̦͔̜̖̳̼͚̱͚̮͍̱̘̰̲͂̃̚A̴̧̢̮̫̼̟̳̭̩̪̟̾̋́̌̀̔͐͒̔̾͗̚͜͝͝N̴̫̭͇̹̍́̾̿͒̈́́̄̏A̵͚͓̥̿̍͊͛̎̂̀̀͠͠Ǵ̴̖̭̭̺̣̭̺̈́̅̏́̓͜ͅÈ̷́͠R̶̖͈͈͐͜❗️❗️at the 💢 bread 🍞 store ❓𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿 tell 🤖 him 🗣 to take 👌 the 😾 motherfuckin 🤡 gluten 😷 𝙤𝙪𝙩 🙅‍♀️ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿 🥖 imma 🧚 need 🤚 you 👶 to shut 🔇 that 💪 bullshit 👄 up 👆 chief 💂‍♀️ we 👬 cant 🙅 take 👌 shit out 👾 the 😷 bread 🍞 why❓ put 👿 it in 🤲 in 👁 the 👅 first 1️⃣ place🚪 i 🧑‍🎨 know 🧠 yall 💢 𝙨𝙢𝙤𝙠𝙞𝙣 🚬 that 👉 𝙥𝙖𝙘𝙠 💅

A🌑 duck walked🚤👳🏽 up↪️ to📵 a🍉 lemonade stand And💘 he📮 said🏰👸🏼 to📰 the man,👏🏻 running🐖 the👋🏿💿💕 stand "Hey! (Bum🚵🏼 bum🎓 bum)💦 Got😁 any🕗🆖 grapes?" The👦🏻✔️👲🏼 man⏫ said "No😪 we📂 just🚥 sell🐣 lemonade. But👨‍👨‍👦‍👦📀 it's cold And👧🏾🔣 it's👌 fresh And🔳🌕🚿👆🏾 it's all home-made.🙆🏽🛀 Can🍍 I get🚥📅 you Glass?" The duck said, "I'll👣 pass". Then👃🏻 he waddled👵🏻 away. (Waddle🌂 waddle) 'Til😢👒 the💂🏻😐🙅🏿 very📍 next♊️ day. (Bum bum bum👳🏾😇 bum👮🏿🌜 ba-bada-dum)🕐👮🏽

Shawty’s💖✨like🌟😌a⌛️👑✨melody💞🎀🌟 🪐That💫 I 🌏can't 🌍keep 🌵out 🌟Got 🌟me ✨singin' ⚡️like⚡️ 🔥Na na na na 🔥everyday🌪 It's🌈 like ☀️my 💫iPod ❄️stuck 🏚on 🤠replay, 🤤replay-ay-ay-ay🦁 Shawty's🤤 like 🤖a 🤑melody 😻in 😽my 🤲head🧠 That 🤚I 💢can't 💋keep 💄out👀 Got 🤙me 🙏singin' 🙏like👅 Na na na na 💄everyday💋 ⌚It's 💎like 💪my 📱iPod 👋stuck 👋on 🖖replay, 🤚Deluga 🤘Heights (replay) 🤟Hey ✊🏾over 👏and 🤝over 👐o_O ||if 👁I'm 🆓tipsy🔰 or ♻️sober💯 I 💖got ❤️lil' 💔momma💗 on 💝rewind❣️like the ❤️deck 👥in 😻my 😺Rover 👾On 💀my 🤑mind, 🗿shawty☁ fine, 😯meditate 🤒her 👩 like 🧘‍♀️ 🤒So 🤕down 🤐on 😵the 🙄line 😤make 👉me 👈want 👍🏾a 😈cold 👹soda👺 👻Hey 👽baby 🤡be 🤤my 😈radio 📻 😶Hear👂you ✨ everywhere 😏I 😉go 🙂Music 👩‍❤️‍👨in 😇my 😚head🤪 🤨Know 😋your 🤪melody 🤩in 😔every 😭note😏 Girl 😍you 😍incredible😚 🤪Make 🤩yourself 🗿available😏Na na na na🤪 😘That 🎶tune 😚so 😊exceptional☺️ 😍Smexy 😍like 💗a 😚piano 👸give 💥you ♉️my 👩🏿‍✋ hands 👀if ✊🏾you're 😈ready💀 ✨We 😜can 😀make 🙃plans😚 get🗿 body 😋stand😍 if ✊🏾you let ☄️me😩 Girl I'm a…😳

Shawty 👄 had 👉 them 💯 apple 🍎 bottom 🔽 jeans 👖 boots 👢 with *️⃣ the 🔟 fur 🐈 (with *️⃣ the 🔟 fur 🐈) got 🐲 the 🔟 whole 🙄 club 💒 looking 👀 at ☮️ her 👠 she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽 (she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽) next 👉 thing ♈️ you 👤 shawty 👄 got 👣 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽low 🔽 them 🦮 baggy 👜 sweatpants 🩳 and ➕ the 👁‍🗨 Reeboks 👟 with ➕ the 🎶 straps ↩️ (with ➕ the 🎶 straps ↩️) she 💃 turned 😛around ↩️ and 👊 gave ✌️ that 👁 big 🥵booty 🍑 a 🌶 smack ✨ she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽 (she 💃 hit 👊 the 🔟 floor 🔽) next 👉 thing ♈️ you 👤 shawty 👄 got 👣 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽 low 🔽low 🔽

Today 📅 my 12 😣🕛 year 📅 old 👴 son 👦 and I 👥 walked 🚶 into harvard 👩‍🎓 to sign 🚧 him 👴 up ☝ for college 🚌📚. The dean rudly asked ❓ what a 12 😣🕛 year 🗓 old 👴 was doing signing 🖊 up ⬆ for such a prestigious 🎖🏆 institute like 👍 harvard 👩‍🎓. My son 🙎‍♂️ took 👫 of to reveal 💡 his 🤦 Rick 👨🏻‍🔬 and Morty 😡😵 shirt 👕 and proclaimed "Well 🖕🖕🏻🖕🏿 you 👆 see 👁 sir 🤔 I 👁 watch 👁 Rick 🥒 and Morty 😡😵". A look 👀 of confusion ❓🤔 came 💦 over 😳🙊💦 the deans face 😀 and I 👁 have never 🚫 been so proud 😤. The dean quickly ⚡ made 👉 sure 💯 to appologize to my son 👦 but 👆🍑👀 it was too late 💤, the police 👮‍♂️ rushed 🏃‍♂️ in and dragged him 👨🏾 out. My son 👦 passed 📆 all 🙌 his 🤦 classes 📒 with 4.0s and graduated 🔝 top 🔝 of his 🤦 class 📒 in the first 🥇 day 📅 of college 🏘👱📚.

Number🔢 1️⃣5️⃣: 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 foot👣 lettuce🥗. The last🥉 thing you'd👉 want in👇 your👉 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 🅱️urger🍔 is someone's👤 foot👣 fu🆖us🤢🤮. 🅱️ut🍑 as🍑 it turns↩️ out, that might 🅱️e what you👉 get. A 4️⃣channer🍀👤 uploaded a 🅿️hoto📷📸 🅰️nonymously👤❓ to the site showcasing his🚹 feet👣 in👇 a 🅿️lastic bin🚮 of lettuce🥗🤮. With the statement🗣: "This👇 is the lettuce🥗 you👉 eat 🅰️t 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴."😱😱 🅰️dmittedly, he🚹 had shoes👣👟 on. But🍑 that's even🤭 worse😱😷. The 🅿️ost went live at 1️⃣1️⃣:3️⃣8️⃣ PM on July🎆🎇 1️⃣6️⃣, and a mere 2️⃣0️⃣ minutes🕤 later, the 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 in👇 question❓ was 🅰️lerted👂 to the rogue👤 employee👤. At least, I👁 hope he's🚹 rogue. How😨 did it🤔 happen🧐🧐? Well, the 🅱️K🍔🤴 employee👤 hadn't🚫 removed❌ the Exif data🤓 from the uploaded photo📷📸, which suggested👀 the culprit👤 was somewhere in👇 Mayfield Heights, Ohio🇺🇸. This was 🅰️t 1️⃣1️⃣:4️⃣7️⃣. 3️⃣ minutes later🕘 at 1️⃣1️⃣:5️⃣0️⃣, the 🅱️urger🍔 Ki🆖🤴 branch🌳 address📭🏠 was 🅿️osted with wishes🙏 of happy😄😁 unemployment😨😰. 5️⃣ minutes later🕚, the news stati🔛 was contacted🗣📞 🅱️y 🅰️nother 4️⃣channer👤🍀. And 3️⃣ minutes🕒 later, at 1️⃣1️⃣:5️⃣8️⃣, a link was 🅿️osted: 🅱️K's🍔🤴 "Tell us 🆎out us" online🌐 forum. The foot👣 🅿️hoto📷📸, otherwise known as🍑 exhibit 🅰️, was 🅰️ttached. Cleveland🇺🇸 Scene Maga🇺🇸zine contacted🗣☎️ the 🅱️K🍔🤴 in👇 question🤔❓ the next⏩ day🌞. When questioned🤔❓🧐, the breakfast🌞🍽 shift manager🧔 said "Oh, I👁 know😱 who🤔 that is. He's🚹 getti🆖 fired💥🔫🔥." Mystery�� solved👍, 🅱️y 4️⃣chan🍀👥. Now we👥 can🛢 all go 🔙 to2️⃣ eati🆖🍽 our fast🏃‍♂️💨 food🍔🍟🥤 in👇 🅿️eace☮️😀😃😁👍.

im 😂 not gonna 😻 show 👈📺 you 🤙 🤖 the 🍁🌷 facts 📚 📚 and 👏👏 💰 the 👑⚕ 🏽 evidence 📰 🔨📃 beacuse im 😂 😂😂 29 fucking ♀😡 🎮 years 📅📅 old 🍆 and 💻 🌬 in 👄📥 not ⚠🤚 gonna ♂ sit down ⬇👇 and ➕👏 💰 make 💰 🖕 a video ♀📹 📹📸 with 👏👈 👩😫 screenshots exposing 👐 👐 my bullies 😎🖕 🖕😎 these 🈴 💁🚟 are 🏾 👏🏼 bullies these 🤤 are 🏿 highschool fucking 🙏 bullies and 🍀 👏📡 they 👥 👈 wanna 🙇❤ come at 😍👸 👅 me ❓ 📩✌ and 👏🍞 🅱🏼 say 😅🚃 ✋ your ⬅ 👏👏 29 years 📅 old how 👏⚖ your 🍆🏻 👉 acting fuck 😤👦 🍆 you 👆 your 🍆 🙄 in 👏 〽 your 😩 fucking 👉🍆 30s almost 😲 👀😲 all 💯 of 💦📆 😤 you 😤 😘👆 attacking ♂ ♂ me 🏿😭 👈 and 👏😵 😭 im 👌 👌 not ♂🚫 saying 🗣😡 a fucking 👉 work 🏢 🔨 to 🙅 💦 anybody and 👏 👏🙏 your 💯👉 going to 💦 👆💰 say 🤐 🏿 im 👀 😂🏻 panting myself 🔪 👩🐱 as the 🔝👏 🕘⚕ victim and 👏💦 im 👌😂 trying 😔 to ask 🤗😩 😥🙋 for 💰👨 attention i 😂👀 have 👏🏋 😤💰 not 🚫🙅 said 💖 😑 a 👌😂 fucking 😛💞 👈 word 🔚🔚 ✊ publicly until 💦 🅱 another 👯👣 video 🎥 📹 was ☠ 💯👏 made 💰😶 👆 about me 😩👤 the 👏 🅱👏 week 📅 ❗😱 i was 👏👏 👏 putting 💯💯 out 💰▶ 🏼🏍 my 👨 fucking EP you 👉💬 😭👧 wanna ❤ 😻🏿 ghost 👻👻 👻👻 the 🕸 internet 🌐💻 for 😎🍆 five 🕔 fucking ➡ months 🏽 and ✝ im 😂 promoting ↗ my 😩 😘 project ↗ like 😏❤ 😄 crazy and 😇👏 ➕👏 your 👏 ☝ gonna 👏🅱 🔥 put 😏 my 👨 name 📛 in your fucking 🎮😫 🖕🍑 thumbnail bringing up ❤✋ a 🅰💰 🏠 fucking 🚟 ➡ dramatic lie 💬❎ ❎😱 a hate 💯💯 campaign that 🦃 🔪 you fucking started 😁 🙄 5 👪 🛐 months ✌📆 🙄🏽 you 🏻👏 dont 😡🙅 👀 post 🏾📌 🗒🙄 but 🤤 💏🍑 im 👌🅱 posting a 💰☝ 💰 project ⬆⬅ ⬅⬆ and 👏👏 you 🤖🅱 have 💪👏 👏 to say 🗣🗣

You 👆 useless 👩🏻 piece 🗿 of shit 💩. You 👆 absolute 💯 waste 😵 of space ⭐⚫ and air 🌬. You 👆 uneducated, ignorant 👌, idiotic 😜 dumb 🤪 swine 🐽😂, you’re an absolute 💯 embarrassment 😣 to humanity 🕴 and all 🤠 life 💓 as a whole 🕳. The magnitude 🔍 of your 👉 failure 👎🏽 just now is so indescribably massive 🐘 that one ☝🏻 hundred 💯 years 📅 into the future 👨🏼 your 👉🏿 name 🏷 will be used ♦ as moniker of evil 😈 for heretics. Even 🌃 if all 💪 of humanity 🕴 put 👏 together 👮‍♂️🐕 their collective intelligence 🧐 there is no 🚫 conceivable way ↕ they could have thought 🤔 up ☝ a way ↕ to fuck 🤬 up ⬆ on the unimaginable scale ⚖ you 👉🏻 just did

How 🤷🏻 ba-a-a-ad 🤡👺👹 can 🛢 I 👉👁👄👁 be? 🐝🐝I'm 💁🏻‍♂️just🤷🏻doin'🙆🏻‍♂️what comes ☀️🌈✨𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎✨🌈☀️How💁🏻‍♂️ba-a-a-ad🤡👺👹can🛢I 👉🤡be? 🐝🐝 I'm💁🏻‍♂️just 🤷🏻following👉➡️➡️my ➡️➡️🎀 𝒹𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝓎 🎀 How🤷🏻ba-a-a-ad🤡👺👹can🛢I👉🏿be? 🐝🐝 I'm💁🏻‍♂️just🤷🏻doin'🙆🏻‍♂️what comes ☀️🌈✨ 𝓃𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 ✨🌈☀️ How🤷🏻ba-a-a-ad 🤡👺👹 can🛢I👉👹be? 🐝🐝How 🤷🏻💁🏻‍♂️bad🥵👺💁🏻‍♂️can🛢💁🏻‍♂️I 💁🏻‍♂️possibly🙋🏻‍♂️be?💁🏻‍♂️🐝🐝Well, 🤷🏻 there's a principal 💡⏳of nature 🙈🙉🙊(principal of nature) 🗣👥🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻That almost👌every 🐶🐱🐭🐮 creature🐹🐰🐯🐸 knows💡💡Called survival🏋🏻🤸🏻‍♀️of the fittest💪🏻💪🏾 (survival of the fittest) 🗣👥🙋🏻‍♂️ 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻And check✅it ➡️this is how it goes🚶🏻🚶🏻‍♀️The animal🙈🙉🙊that eats🍌gotta🤼 scratch🏋️and 👄bite 🦁and💪punch🤼And the🐷🐨animal🐥🦇 that doesn't, well the 🐼🦁animal🦉🐙that doesn't, winds🔁 up🆙⬆️Someone else's 💁🏻‍♂️💁🏽‍♂️💁🏿‍♂️🙋🏻🙋🏼🙋🏽🙋🏾‍♀️lu-🍔lu-🥙lu-🌮lu-🥪lunch!🍱(Munch Munch Munch Munch Munch👁👅👁) 🗣👥🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻I'm just saying'...💁🏻‍♂️

𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼🌙a 🙄𝘣𝘶𝘻𝘻🐝𝘣𝘶𝘻𝘻🤣 ｂｕｚｚ✨ïṅ 😨m̸e̸a̸d̸o̸w̸🤷🏻‍♀️t⃨h⃨e⃨r⃨e⃨s⃨👾ᗩ😈ꌃꀎꁴꁴ💩 🐝乃ㄩ乙乙😂【b】【u】【z】【z】💕 b̆̈ŭ̈z̆̈z̆̈🌹the 😅 ፕዪቿ̂🌳Շɦεɼεร😣a 🤯b̶u̶z̶z̶👽 b̠u̠z̠z̠🤖 ḃu̇żż👻ᏰᏬፚፚ 💀in 👃the😷 ᶠˡᵒʷᵉʳˢ🌺ꅐꏂꋪꏂ😹so 🤟乃ㄩ丂ㄚ🗣 b̑̈ȇ̈ȋ̈n̑̈g̑̈👓᥇ꪊɀɀꪊꪗ🥽b͛e͛e͛z͛ 👁ẇєяє👄ɓմςςψ 🗿ℬUℤℤℐℕᎶ🌿with🐚♭ṳℨℨ♭ḙḙ✺🥓bͦͯuͦͯzͦͯzͦͯbͦͯeͦͯeͦͯ🌍is 🌟b˟˚u˟˚s˟˚y˟˚🎰with 🧠m͙e͙🐽Ᏺᾀᑬᑬẙ😀 as 😉a સଇกกϓ Ъ૯૯🍯 can 🙇‍♂️be🧚🏻 w̤̮e̤̮r̤̮e̤̮🦷βUSΨ😴b̾u̾z̾z̾i̾n̾g̾🤐with 🤡b⃠u⃠z⃠z⃠b⃠e⃠e⃠👺 t̺͆h̺͆e̺͆🎃ṧ✺ℵ🌞!✘a͎l͎w͎a͎y͎s͎🦄s͜͡h͜͡i͜͡n͜͡i͜͡n͜͡g͜͡👨‍🦳🄸🅃🅂🧒great😖t̶o̶😪b͟e͟👐🏻ḁͦl̥ͦi̥ͦv̥ͦe̥ͦ🔪 ሠዘቿክ💄you’re ♭ʊʐʐ😻βUZZ😮ℬʉᏃᏃ🐣乃∪乙乙🥶Ъμｚｚ😸b˟˚u˟˚z˟˚z˟˚i˟˚n˟˚g˟˚🤬ᏜᎥʈ⋆🤧ЪμｚｚЪ૯૯🤔i͓̽n͓̽🚀Ꮖℋℰ👱🏻‍♀️ʰⁱᵛᵉ🍟

I 👁 don't 🚫👎 know 💭 what 😂 I 💰💰 was 👏👏 thinking 🤔 Leaving 🚪🍃 my 👨🌭 child 👾 behind 👟☢ Now 🎅🙅 I suffer 😱😤 the 👏🔝 curse ⛓ Knowing 💭🤔 now 😭🤗 I 🤠 am blind With all 👩😩 this anger, 😡 guilt and sadness Coming 🏻🏃 to 😷 haunt me 👸 forever 🕜 I can't 🔫 wait for the cliff 💦 at 🗽 the end of 💦 the 🦉👑 river Is 😤 this revenge I am seeking Or seeking someone 👥👤 to 💦 avenge me Stuck in 〽👏 my 🏻 own 😎🏻 paradox I 👀👨 wanna ♀ set ➿ myself free Maybe I 😏 should 👑 chase and 👏 find 🔦 Before they'll 👧 try 😐 to 💦 stop ⛔ it 💯 It won't be 🍆💚 long before 🐝🔙 I'll 😩 become 🏽 a 🆒 puppet It's been 🥜 so long 🔨 Since I last have seen 👁 my ♂ son 👦 Lost to 💰 this monster 👹 To 🍅 the 🍁 man ♂ behind the slaughter Since you've been 📹 gone 😠😡 I've been 🚟👦 singing this 🏿 stupid song 🎵🎤 So I 👨 could 👌✊ ponder The 😫 sanity of 💦🔴 your mother I 👟👏 wish 😢😢 I 💯😎 lived in 👉 the 👏😈 present With the 😫👏 gift 🍆 of 🚋🤔 my 💋🤔 past mistakes But the 🌜 future 💞 keeps luring in ❤🍆 like 👏💖 a pack of snakes Your 🙄👉 sweet 🍬 little 🐭 eyes 👀👀 Your 👨👉 little 🏽 smile, ⭐😁 is 💦 all I 🏻 remember Those fuzzy memories mess with 👌 my temper Justification is killing me But killing 🔪 isn't justified What happened 🤔🤔 to 💯♀ my 💝 son, ♂👦 I'm terrified 😲😲 It 😳 lingers in 👇 my 💩💪 mind And 🌰👏 the 🏻 thought 🤔🤔 keeps on getting 💦 bigger I'm 😻 sorry my 👬 sweet 🍬 baby 👦👶 I 👀♂ wish I've 🏾😭 been there 💦✔ It's 😠🍝 been ✊😎 so 😮 long 🕑📏 Since 💦💦 I 🤔🙋 last 🕞❗ have 😑 seen 👀👁 my 😤 son 🏻👦 Lost 🍆 to 💦 this monster 👹👹 To 😉 the 👏👏 man 💂 behind ↩ the 😂🚗 slaughter Since 💦💦 you've been 🤤😎 gone 😭 I've 😠 been 👑 singing 👩 this 💋 stupid song 🎵🎵 So I could 🚫 ponder The sanity of your mother

What the 🅾🔪 fuck 👌🍑 did 🌼 you 👏👉 just 👏 fucking 🏻⚔ say 🗣🎙 about ✨💦 me, you 👧💦 little 🍑😫 bitch? 🐩☘ I'll 💵🤢 have you know 👏 I 💬♀ graduated 💯 top 👚🔼 of my 🖥👌 class 🥇😛 in 🏢 the 👏 Navy Seals, and I've been 🥜💫 involved in ⏳ numerous secret raids 👈👤 on Al-Quaeda, 🍒🅾 and 💰🌈 I 💰👁 have 🎁 over 😈♂ 300 confirmed kills. ☠ I am trained 🏻🏻 in gorilla warfare 💣 and I'm 🚫 the 😱 top 🔝🔼 sniper in the 👩 entire 😂🏼 US armed forces. 🍆 You are 🏃 nothing to 🅱🗝 me but just 👏 another 🔁 target. I 👁👣 will 🅱💰 wipe 🤤 you 😤😑 the 👏 fuck 🏻 out 🍻 with 👏😏 precision the 🌫😫 likes of which 👏 has 👏 never 😤 been 📷👏 seen 👁 before ⬅💰 on 🤤 this 👈 Earth, 🌎🌎 mark ✌ my 👯🕶 fucking ➡👉 words. You ❌❤ think 😠🤔 you 👈 can 💦 get away with 👩👏 saying 💬🗣 that shit 👌👻 to ✌🅱 me over the Internet? 🌐 Think again, fucker. ➡ As 🍑🍑 we 🏼🤝 speak I 👀👈 am contacting 📞👈 my 😽 secret 😱😱 network of spies across 👉 the 📉 USA 💖 and 🥁 your 👉👉 IP is 👉💦 being traced 📈 right ❤ now 👋 so 😴 you better 🤔😚 prepare 👉 for the 👏🎆 storm, maggot. The storm 🌀 that 🍆👏 wipes out the 👌🔥 pathetic 😂👋 little 👩 thing you call 📱 your life. You're 👈 fucking 💯 dead, 🔥😂 kid. 😎👶 I 👁👁 can 💦 be anywhere, anytime, 👉💵 and ♂😫 I 👏 can 🔫🔫 kill 👻🔫 you 😏😏 in ⬅👏 over 😳😈 seven hundred ways, and that's 👆 just with 😉😗 my 👍🆕 bare hands. 👏 Not 👏♀ only 😤 am 👦💦 I 😶 extensively trained 👨🏻 in 💊👇 unarmed combat, 🗡 but I 👩😍 have 😑 access 🔖 to the 👏 entire 👏🙋 arsenal of 👨 the 👍👏 United States 👌 Marine Corps and 📡👏 I will 💦 use it to its full 🈵🌕 extent to wipe your 🏻👏 miserable ass 🍑🍆 off 😡👏 the 👏 face of 💦❤ the continent, 👤 you 👨👈 little 👌 shit. 🎃💖 If 🤥 only you could have known 💫 what 😧 unholy 🙏 retribution your 👏 little 🏼 "clever" comment was about 🎩⭐ to ⚠ bring ➡⬅ down ⬇ upon you, maybe 😿 you ♀ would have 👏 held ✊ your 👈👈 fucking 💯 tongue. 👅 But 🏼 you couldn't, you didn't, 😘 and 💯 now 🎅🔫 you're paying the price, you 🙄🖕 goddamn idiot. I 👁🅱 will 😘 shit 👌 fury 😡😡 all over you 🤓👉 and 💰 you will 👏 drown in it. You're 😊🤖 fucking dead, kiddo. 🔥💲

Submitted September 18, 2020 at 11:56AM by Putins-Uncle via reddit https://ift.tt/2RESOdY

#IFTTT #reddit

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travelinghermit · 7 years

Text

Huayna Potosi Summit

12:30am Friday morning. I awaken by the sound of rumaging noises from someone packing a bag in the corner of the hostal room. I try to ignore this but then the faint drone of a phone alarm begins to go off. It was time to get up. By this time I had a little less than one hour of sleep and yet I considered myself lucky just to have this much. Trying to go to sleep at 7pm at high altitude is no easy task. Your heart pumping insatiably, your breathe cannot assume a normal pattern, clamoring for each breathe. at 5130 meters elevation every part of your body is forced to work harder than normal. Sleep is an impossibility for me yet I did manage to get a power nap in. Ten minutes after the lone phone alarm from somewhere in the hostel everyone is out of their beds getting themselves prepared for the next seven hours of climbing straight up 957 meters to the icey summit of Huayna Potosi at 6088 meters elevatio .There are two very different groups sharing this hostel for the night. The first consisting of me the lone Canadian, two Dutch, two French, and a German. All men of very similar age with the same aspiration for the next three days to get outside of our comfort zones and achieve something we all have never done before which was to climb higher than 6000 meters. The other group was about six or so French men and one woman. Our groups never interacted much as the French didnt speak much English and we not much French yet we were all going to the same spot this morning. I was the second or so to get up. I knew I am not the fastest to fully gear up with all boots, harness, gear, etc without forgetting something so I knew I had to get up fast so I could leave ahead of the other groups. I may have been dropped into this group with the other Europeans but for the climb itself this morning it was just Andres my very experienced guide of twelve years and I tied together for the next seven hours as we ascended and descended the summit. We left the hostal at ten after 1:30am into the dark of night with only the three quarter moon to brighten the snowy mountainous landscape around us. I was fully geared out with everything I rented from the Climbing South America agency including a heavy fleece, heavy jacket, snow pants, boots, helmet and crampons - the spikey soles you attach to your boots to tread ice and snow. Then without saying a word to each other we began the climb one slow monotonous step at a time directly up. For the first two, three hours I was running purely on survival instinct mimicking each step of Andres not caring about lack of sleep I just wanted to reach the summit with body intact. Just to back up two days prior. My group of six arrived at the basecamp of Huayna Potosi which sits at 4720 meters elevation on Wednesday morning, being delivered by a shuttle from the tour agency early that morning. First day was for aclimatizing, practising with crampons, along with spontaneous ice wall climbing with ice picks that I had no idea was on the itinerary yet was one of the highlights of the trek. I had no idea ice climbing was so technical but I was able to pick up all the do's and don'ts from the pro Andres like how to properly walk up a steep ice/snow face by walking sideways one leg over the other safely, how to use the ice axe by using it as a walking stick and stabilizer for normal trekking and then using the axe by forcefully sinking the blade into the ice for getting up the more steeper faces. After the crampon practise we began the ice climbing which is no different from rock climbing other than your wielding dual ice axes, and theres no holes or rocks to climb on you just have your crampons to kick into the ice for leverage. I first practised on an easy wall and then the second was a true challenge as it was nearly 90 degress straight up maybe 8 meters high. All six of us made it to the top of the wall but I was the only one who touched the top bolt soo ya take that for what you will. The spirit of competition was felt in the group or maybe I am just projecting. None of us had done any of this before so it was all for fun. The second day was quite boring but necessary. At 9am we walked 410 meters to High Camp which sits at 5130 meters elevation then for the remainder of the day was for rest and aclimatizing for the big climb at 12:30am that night. I climbed the rocks in the area to enjoy the view around camp, read my book, there wasnt a whole lot to do up there. By 5pm we ate dinner and then broke up into your small groups with our guides to discuss the climb then it was on to bed where I tossed and turned all night. Back to the climb. Andres and I were making good time up the mountain. I didnt like how there were so many people doing the climb as we were but I understand how everyone wants to get to the summit for sunrise. It was just annoying how we would end up behind a very slow group and couldnt get around them thus forming a train of other group's. Our pace was good but everytime Andres wanted to take a break I just wanted to keep going. I had zero skill in the art of ice climbing yet something in me wanted to be first on the summit but we had to take breaks for aclimatizing and to to make sure we wouldnt get to the summit before the sun. By the last push for the summit when it was right before our eyes yet still a good distance away by chance we were among the leading three teams to the goal. I wasnt very tired as we were going a slow pace, and I wasnt at all suffering from altitude sickness (I think im impervious). The worst I was feeling was due to the lack of oxygen; never able to keep a straight breathing pattern when I wasnt even tired. The slope to the summit now became very steep and one by one we were treading a very narrow icey ledge with desolation below leading to the top. This is where things got a little sketchy because I was in no way anticipating this. We were all still tied to our guides and I was so thankful it was just me and my guide because if I were to be tied to another I dont think I could trust anyone that much who I just met in two days. I eventually got passed the ledge safely and finally was standing ontop of the 6088 meter high summit of Huayna Potosi. Streaks of orange and yellow beamed from the horizon in front of me. We were the third or probably fourth team up at the summit which was incredibly gratifying. I took a seat at the tip of the summit then looked all around me satisfied. Mountains in every direction with the Royal Range tall and snowy to the left with the lights of La Paz behind me. I then reached into my backpack and grabbed my camera as everyone was to remember this incredible occasion. *It was at this moment when Brett unzipped his camera from its holder, turned it on, and was in complete dismay when the screen read "Please Recharge Batteries". He recalled the camera was at full battery on the first day, and then on the second day it had 2 bara. There was no reason for the battery to be drained. He then looked around with a shaky nervous smile just as the bright red and orange sphere of the sun began to rise and thought "Oh well this is a moment to truelly remember now" and tried to analyse all his surroundings the best he could". Yea that happened. I thought it must have turned on in the case and I didnt know it. Oh well these things happen. There actually is photo evidence as the Dutch and German guys and I took a photo of us on one of their camera, who knows if that will ever show up. When I got back to La Paz I turned on the camera just to see what would happen and what do you know it worked just fine. Turns out it was so cold that night that it temperarily malfunctioned the camera battery leaving me with no photos. Ill take this as the universe telling me to enjoy the moment but all the potential photos were absolutley killing me. I was only on top to enjoy the summit maybe fifteen to twenty minutes than had to go down again because of the many people wanted to enjoy it themselves. The walk down the mountain hurt me far more than the walk up, my knees were in bits when I got back to High Camp around 9am. My experience climbing the snowy and icey mountain to the summit of Huayna Potosi was truelly a unique and very rare experience that I can never forget. It was a much different experience from my Everest basecamp and Kala Pathar summit experience which is a very good thing. The Everest basecamp was a nine day adventure trekking through the foothills of the Himalayas to finally sdand on top of one of its 5500 meter summits. Huayna Potosi was purely mountain climbing with all its technicalities including icey terrain and the use of specialized equipment to reach the highest I have ever been 6088 meters. I hope I can do more like this but for now im in a cafe resting my weery body, drinking coffee. I am resting here for the next few days till Monday and then setting off on the infamous "Death Road" by motorbike. The journey never sleeps.

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