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#starting a gnome brothel
esterigermaine · 1 year
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Gotta say the new DnD movie is accurate as hell regarding all the chaos players get up to. It is utterly ridiculous and I love it.
It is not a serious movie or a movie one should take seriously. It has the same tone as my old college group had, but with less campaign derailment.
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blujayonthewing · 4 months
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wh. I just fucking realized that prior to our warlock regaining his lost memories melliwyk was the only member of her party who had ever had sex
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greyias · 7 months
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At long last...
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baby girl has finally fell ass over tea kettle asleep
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A non-comprehensive list of things Ari has accomplished on this longest of days:
Started investigating the Open Hand Temple murders in earnest including interviewing everyone, speaking with the dead, and generally doing 1000x better as a detective than a flying elephant
Located the crypt underneath the temple
Freed the soul of a cursed monk by personally breaking Shar's laughing curse by pure willpower
Found the hidden tunnels underneath the temple and fought a bunch of shapeshifters on the trail of the serial killer
Got drug into the middle of a turf war between two criminal factions
Gave herself the alias Daisy Dewdrop Fluffington to try and outwit a Steel Watchman.
Nearly got arrested and was saved by the Ironhand Gnomes
Found Barcus again! Whose boyfriend tried to rope them into some light domestic terrorism
Ran into some of Astarion's "siblings" who fucked off before we could talk to them
Found another victim of the serial killer, found out it was the serial killer's mama
Visited a brothel, where everyone came onto Ari, and the incest twins tried to convince her and Gale to have an orgy while Gale nearly expired on the spot
Talked to the most useless flying elephant ever and got a pass into the lower city
Accidentally wandered into fantasy!ao3, aka the Elminster's Sexy Library
Astarion kept rolling nat20s on locked doors in a brothel, one of which contained a nymph and a surprise!mindflayer
The nymph gave Ari a +d6 buff to all ability checks, saving throws, and attack rolls for the rest of the day
Talked to Raphael who perved out over the Crown of Karsus
Went with Jaheira to talk to some Harpers and got jumped by more shapeshifters
Did battle with an evil blob disguised as a cow
Got invited to Gortashs's coronation where Wyll had to confont some Daddy issues, Karlach had to not do a murder, and Ari learned they have a spy at camp
Talked to Counselor Florick who we're totes def going to break out of prison any day now (but surprisingly not this day)
Got ambushed by Mizora who decided she's going to just hang around our camp now just because
Went into the Lower City and was immediately beset by a newspaper lady who let them know the National Enquirer was going to to print a smear piece on us
Got banned from the National Enquirer
The one man vampire elf wrecking crew snuck into the National Enquirer to sabotage the presses, and in a fit of petty pique, stole everything not nailed down in the basement.
And then the editor's office for further measure. We're running dangerously low on spell slots at this point.
Talked to the thus far only non-useless member of the Flaming Fists who deputized us to find the serial killer
Talked to a bunch of murdered corpses (some quite sassy) all around the city, investigate some really sketchy ritualistic murders in some basements, and warned several still living potential victims to watch the fuck out.
After all that hard work went to a wine festival to unwind (and warn another murder victim) but PSYCH -- the wine of the intended victim was poisoned and we found our serial killer who dimension doored out leaving us to fight a bunch of his shapeshifting duplicates. Astarion is nearly one hit killed with a sneak attack (now he knows how it feels). The group survives by the skin of their teeth (and burning through scrolls and potions because we REALLY should fucking sleep now), but successfully save all the civilians at the wine festival
But now they have to run across town to a very sassy tailor who we already warned to close up shop but apparently he didn't listen. We arrive literally just in time to stop him from getting his throat slit (and save our Flaming Fist partner) from the serial killer and this seemingly endless well of shapeshifting accomplices
After a long and harrowing fight where every last spell slot is burned, and Ari has to actually use that extra Tasha's Hideous Laughter I was making fun of earlier for crowd control, the serial killer and accomplices are finally defeated and it seems the victims are safe
Ari & co stumble back to the Elfsong Tavern and rent a room, ready to collapse. Ari finally hits the button to long rest
EXCEPT SURPRISE -- Mizora says it's still plot time and tries to get Wyll to sell his soul forever and ever amen in order to have a shortcut to find his dad. Ari's like "we can do this without her" and encourages Wyll to break his pact.
Everyone acts like this is somehow the absolute worst thing and that Wyll has done the absolutely unthinkable and resigned the city to flames and death, and how could you do that to your father Wyll??? Your father would totes want you banished to the hells for eternity my god where is your moral center Wyll??? -- except for fucking Jaheira who was like "I'm pretty sure Wyll's dad wouldn't want his son to sell his soul in exchange for his safety"
Ari falls face first on a pillow in an actual bed for the first time in the game, and sleeps for an eternity. Who knows what the next day will bring
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Pikelan putting the B in romance
I think Pike and Scanlan love each other deeply but are not in love. I also think Pike and Scanlan are aromantic.
Let’s start with Scanlan. We’ve never seen any evidence that Scanlan had any meaningful romantic connection with anyone besides Pike, whom he ‘falls in love with at first sight’. Scanlan spends a lot of time and effort lying to himself and those around him that he’s simpler and more palatable than he actually is. Instead of saying “I don’t care whether I live or die” he says, “Suicide mission? I was born for those!” and everyone has a good laugh about it and doesn’t think on it any further. Because to address the things that are actually wrong with him would be vulnerable, and ugly, and miserable. Easier to just lie about it and secretly take drugs and eventually become so miserable and angry that you explode at all your friends and leave for a year.
When you live in a world where romantic love is essential to a happy ending, when it is the end all be all to your trade as a bard, when the world is ending and all your friends are falling in love, it would be difficult and ugly to say that you’ve never felt that, and maybe never will. Easier to lie to everyone and yourself and say “I’ve finally found it! I’m in love!” easier to pursue a gnome who will seemingly never give you the time of day, who will never call your bluff, than to acknowledge that there is one more thing wrong with you.
Scanlan is a character who is desperately searching for a meaningful connection that can fulfill him, and I think he wants it to be Pike. He wants it to be Pike and he wants it to be romantic love, because that would be easy and comforting and safe. But it isn’t. Even if you don’t think they’re aro we all know that Pike isn’t the end all be all to fixing Scanlan’s problems; Kaylie is. Kaylie and their relationship are the things that make Scanlan feel fulfilled and meaningful. Romantic love is not the answer for Scanlan.
Onto Pike. Pike spends most of the campaign gently rebuffing Scanlan, or sidestepping his advances. She doesn’t fully accept them nor does she ever make it clear that the answer is no. This is not at all because she is incapable of telling Scanlan, or anyone else no. I think this is, because Pike doesn’t know what the answer is, because she doesn’t know what romantic love is. The only person we know Pike to have ‘had a crush on’ besides Scanlan is Percy, and in the Talks Machina where the Percy crush was revealed Ashley confirmed it was an “I can fix him” situation. That strikes me as not being genuine romantic feelings but rather a combination of Pike’s care for Percy and her savior complex.
Same as it is for Scanlan I think Scanlan was an easy out for Pike. Pike tries so hard to be perfect and live up to the pedestal her friends put her on, and part of being the loving cleric has to be being in love. Ashley says that Pike didn’t really consider Scanlan seriously until she read Scanlan’s letter. The letter is lovely and touching, but still ‘falling for Scanlan’ after reading that strikes me as ‘being the thing to do’ rather than genuine romantic love. Pike cares for Scanlan deeply and they’ve been through so much shit and by the end of it they’re both just wanting a happy ending and being that for each other is the easy answer even if it isn’t the most true one. (Also this is neither here nor there, but I don’t think it’s acknowledged enough; Pike says that she goes to brothels when she is separated from the group. She is not the romantic she is sometimes made out to be)
Additionally Pike and Scanlan’s relationship doesn’t really get anywhere until the Feywild, in my opinion. The Feywild, before which Scanlan pulled Pike aside and said “I’ve been thinking of you as something to pursue rather than a person. Starting now I’d like to get to know you as a person and as a friend,” It’s not until they put the notion of romance aside, at least for the moment, that their banter seems to become comfortable and joyful and most importantly genuine.
Pike and Scanlan confess and get married and move in together with Grog (which I adore, but strikes me as odd for a married couple who are in love rather than just three close friends (two of which who sometimes fuck) living together) They then eventually divorce, but remain close and still fuck, neither having significant/mentioned romantic relationships afterwards. I think the divorce is a product of them finally coming to terms with and understanding their feelings. They love each other and want to be in each other's lives etc. but they are not in love.
Obviously there are a shitton of other ways to interpret all the stuff I said and I don’t think Ashley or Sam intended this at all. But there it is, my (an aromantic/aromantic adjacent person’s) take on the matter.
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A Moment Among The Flowers (Chapter 1)
On a rare quiet day after arriving in Baldur's Gate proper, Rae was wandering around the city. Plans needed laid out, their group needed to figure out a to do list, a priority list even. Meeva'Rae had left that to Wyll and Panae, trusting them both to make the right choices while quietly requesting that they did not leave Cazador too late.
She had pointedly ignored the look of pity from Wyll, focusing instead on Panae's understanding and promises they'd get it done as soon as they could manage to find some more holy oil and more divine spells. This had earned the druid a quick hug before the deep gnome had hurried from the inn they'd taken to bunking down in.
She let her feet guide her everywhere, following sights and sounds, smells all exciting and new. She wanted to get a proper look at the city around them, the city that the final stand would take place in. Wanted to truly see what they were fighting for. The small food stands, the hidden away corners and shops, the shared family homes, the children running through the streets laughing. The inns and taverns, bars and brothel houses. All teaming with life.
Life they needed to protect.
Instead of a weight settling, insistent on dragging her down, it all just made her stand straighter, the snarling anger in her chest swirling, determined. They WOULD save these people, she refused to accept anything less. They'd taken down a chosen of a god, had already had many matches of wit and words against Orin, started to spread whispers against Gortash among the criminal underground thanks to her and Astarion's keen eyes and ears for symbols and whispered code words.
In that regard Baldur's Gate was just like the Underdark's communities, there were always scratched in symbols in places you'd least expect them, thieves' can't etched behind or into bar tops or back tables. . .
Her head flashed back to being in a forest camp, sitting with Astarion while he impatiently at first talked her through it, borrowing some ink and paper to get the symbols and words, such as they really weren't, down. He'd become more and more patient with her as time went on, possibly due to her picking it up relatively quick or maybe he'd been growing to like her even then.
After the tiefling party ,she would had explained it away as the former but they had relaxed back into an easy friendship and she didn't take his snapping to heart anymore. The more she learned about him, the more she just wanted to protect him. Even if she had not been madly in love with him, he still would have been one of her people. She protected her people. She had died for her people. She probably would do so again.
Speaking of such a white-haired elf. She caught a glimpse of white hair through a gate and turned in that direction, without her clanky armour, she was quiet, stealthy even. She slipped through the gate silently and carefully and spotted him further down the path. Sitting on a stone bench.
She closed the gate behind her and started to walk over, seeing a garden blooming on either side of her, full of so many different types of flowers. The air was sweet and floral and a smile soon found its way onto her lips.
While she had loved the shadow cursed lands under that infernal spell, she had always loved gloomy places, above ground flowers were soon becoming her favourite things. There were so many different types, all with meanings! Which she found fascinating.
“We had wondered where you managed to slip off to this morning” Rae said quietly, catching Astarion's attention before she past in front of him and joined him on his bench
“Yes well the rabble does tend to get quite loud in the morning, our dear Karlach especially” He said with an exaggerated eye roll and she giggled, hitting him gently with the back of her hand
“Karlach is a delight and you cannot resist her puppy energy, do not give me that Star” she said and he merely playfully 'hmph'd at her causing her to just giggle more. Soon the two just sat in silence, Rae's attention soon being drawn to a nearby patch of flowers. The shape reminded her of the corpse roses that she had found for a particular poison that Panae had agreed to help her make. But they looked different? There was no pale petals with dark veins, no grey stems. What were they called? She wondered.
“What's caught your attention my dear?” came the voice that startled her back to reality and she turned to look and found Astarion looking at her with an amused expression. She coughed, feeling her face heating up and just silently pointed the flowers out. His gaze followed her finger and his amusement turned into understanding “I see you have spotted the Roses”
“So. . .Rose is a flower type?” She asked, tilting her head slightly and he nodded “Okay, do you know any of the others?”
“Of course” he answered and leaned forward slightly, using a finger to point out all of the flowers in the garden near them, one by one, listing names and explaining what colours they came in as she gave him her full attention. Her eyes locked on the flower he was describing before flicking to the next.
Completely missing his occasional glance at her and the small smile that appeared on his face for a brief moment.
After making their way through all the flowers nearby, he stood and gestured for her to follow before setting down the path. Rae, to no one's surprise followed and he started up again. Talking about every flower they past.
They got halfway down the path before a familiar scent tickled her nose and she followed it to their right. Crouching down and sniffing. The patch in front of her was full of vibrant purple blooms, bunched together in clusters, the centres bursting like some of the fire works she'd seen years ago at a travelling show, their lovely but again familiar fragrance heavy in the air around them.
“These smell like you” She announced, looking at Astarion as he stared at her, mouth parted stunned, fangs slightly revealed for just a moment before he recovered with a chuckle.
“Of course darling, Bergamots help cover the scent of undead”
“That would make sense” She said quietly, staring back at the flowers for a moment before she stood back up “It's much better than that awful scent mixture the Gur man we met had on, that wasn't for hiding undead so much as for hiding him however”
“He could have used some sprucing up, maybe some orange zest?” Astarion suggested and she giggled, nodding in agreement before they set off down the path again.
“What would your favourite flower be?” She asked him and he tapped at his chin as he thought
“I am unsure” he admitted after a moment, glancing down at her “There was a flower I quite liked the look of before I was turned, I was dealing with a Shou woman, human, the details of our discussion were quite boring if I remember right but she had a gorgeous flower design on a headpiece she was wearing. A lotus I believe, doesn't quite take top spot but beautiful none the less. And you my dear?”
Rae seemed surprised to have the question turned on her, the deep gnome floundering for a moment
“I don't know either, I liked the Sussur blooms that we found in the Underdark, they were pretty but I don't know if I would call them my favourite?” She answered slowly, taking her time to think about her words
“And above ground?” he prompted and she pressed her lips together thinking
“I think I liked the Camellia? That you showed me? The light pinks ones I think were my favourite” she answered
“They do suit you” He said with a flash of a grin and she blushed, coughing slightly “A beautiful flower for a beautiful woman”
“You are laying it on quite thick there” She said, poking him gently in the leg before setting back down the path. Hearing him laugh, a deep loud thing as he followed. They both knew of her feelings for him and while she trusted him with them. He never could stop himself from giving honeyed words, she was never sure he meant them.
“Well they can't all be winners now can they?”
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mctreeleth · 2 years
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Today the Hot Messes went to Lily’s house to roll characters for a few-shot D&D campaign I said I would run for us. I was 20 minutes late, but I did bring food, and the books, and a whole lot of big plush dice that we rolled. Maddy was 40 minutes late, but anything under an hour is considered on time.
I explained all the classes and the races and we have ended up with a Dragonborn Ranger, a Tiefling Sorcerer, and a Gnome Bard. Weird party composition, but I prefer mysteries and shenanigans to too much combat anyway.
Our ranger is going for a classic dead parents trope: after her town was razed she hit the road and became a one-woman roaming security force up and down the region, grinding at heroism by beating up small-town bad guys till she gets good enough to find out what happened and wreak some vengence.
Our tiefling sorcerer had the kind of ideas you’d expect from someone who immediately picked tiefling sorcerer: a rich famous party girl whose family had lost everything, except they had become famous for running an exotic brothel, where clients could sleep with all sorts of unusual creatures, but the creatures were prisoners, and her character had known all about this, but been fine with it because its nice to be rich. The other players and I managed to divert that last bit at least, because having a PC that is complicit in sex trafficking is... maybe not the vibe I wanted for my fun little game, so instead she thought mummy and daddy were just old money from the dragon ancestor, and when she found out about the other stuff she decided to start a fire to try to help everyone escape, but it all went wrong in undefined ways, so now she is in a shitty little roadside tavern on the outskirts of town flirting with travelers for a meal and a drink and maybe to steal from them while they sleep.
And our Gnome Bard, who inexplicably rolled no stat lower than a 14. To justify it narratively we decided she’s in her 60s - not that old for a gnome, really, but old enough that she can be a leathery old lady at the tavern fleecing people at card games because hey, it’s just a little old lady, except this little old lady has AT LEAST +2 to everything. At level 3. We think we will probably avoid complicating it with children and grandchildren, but she is definitely someone’s cool aunt, and confers bardic inspiration with affirmations and vicious mockery by asking if their mother knows what they are doing.
And I have my PC as an NPC working behind the bar, a halfling druid who makes an amazing goodberry daiquiri, who is backpacking on her gap year.
The fact that our real-life group has a party name already makes me especially inteerst to find out if the PCs also become the Hot Messes. But we won’t be free to finish making the PCs till next month, so who knows?
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nochiquinn · 2 years
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campaign 3 episode 7: ceaseless walltcher
sam ran off so many advertisers they're resorting to basic podcast sponsors
"I've lost control"
"DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM"
my kid is just starting to get old enough/good enough at reading we can do shit like munchkin and I'm excited to try when we can get a set
I Would Like To Read The Book
Christmas is coming up, I'm just saying
vexnvax
I almost never like the art prints but I love this one
"this is going in my HOUSE. not the NERD OFFICE, my HOUSE"
....christmas is coming up. just saying.
TWINCEMBER
INTRO
LET'S GOOOO
oh no I'm gay
have to play this for my kid tomorrow, she loved Your Turn to Roll
ROBBIE CREDITS
HELP I'm GAY
no you can't roll into the episode after that, I need a minute
my hands are literally shaking what the fuck
"and nothing bad happens"
I just realized that prerecording potentially means no laura ditching the game awards early for dungeons and dragons
taliesin is travis' new character
("nochi will anyone even get that" only if they've put up with me for two campaigns now!)
fantasy backstage pass
please picture orym's feet dangling as he pulls himself up to look over the balcony
lauDNA
mods are asleep post fires
"fractured tailbone" "end the game"
fcg's dedication to consent makes me so happy
maybe this is just because I've been in psychonauts hell recently but. donnatella aquato vibes.
("have you ever NOT been in psychonauts hell" you shut up back there)
laudna and orym. friends.
imogen's messages having dueling banjos playing in the background
I love imogen's "don't think about pink elephants" skill
s a m
is it normal that I STILL have adrenaline tingles from the intro
"to kill a god: scanlan shorthalt one-man show"
why is this tma vibes suddenly
this bitch: you look patchwork imogen: excuse u we prefer DIVERSE
"gorgeous" "rotting" "beautiful" "has a rat"
BORYM
"I leave my headshot on the way out"
matt: remove us from this as soon as possible
matt says no unnecessary gender divisions in my fantasy world
"it's not like we want to decide you smell bad" oooooh
"he always seemed like a nice guy, too bad he ate the neighbors"
I fucking love laudna
"macveth" "I ATTACK"
"gently injure the table"
SAM
LAURA
this is just a cats movie roast session
"don't touch that table"
"a punch of sephora"
[psychonauts hell] bonita soleil
is this the brothel matron from arcane
oh I am Uncomfortable
matt you cannot use the word "aroused" in this situation
I'm laura hiding behind her notebook
this is anti-marion
laura you cannot use the word "probe" in this situation
fearne
"everyone think randy thoughts" "PLEASE DON'T"
"we have to find the bone zone"
"cast blacklight" "do NOT do that"
oh no
laudna no
Limbs in Places
DEEP CUT
who let these two go off by themselves
orym climbing up there just to keep an eye on imogen ;-;
gay
"without laudna" lesbian behavior
this alley is an scp
rooftop gays
so no orym princess carry??
the static is travis' character
"an eye" ceaseless watcher
"the fuck??"
matthew they are children
matt asks "wanna see a flesh building monster" and doesn't wait for an answer
whorym
"where's the gnome" don't you manifest that
c h r i s t
they have laudna can we just GO
lesbian behavior
(I still don't know if I ship it, I'm just weak)
oop, we have marisha perch
YEET THE BEAST
stonky has failed us
YEET THE SEED
"occasionally emerges and screams" me
"next enemy is the ground"
"all I wanna do is go help orym but I CAN'T 'cause I'm FUCKED"
"are you alive?" that's a loaded question for laudna
please just run
share travis' texts
I would watch the travis commentary track
"I'm heRE"
you leave her ALONE
we've gotten both marisha chair perch and marisha journal hat, shit's bad
YE
thank GOD
hdywtdt machine robbie daymond
"it's the wailing wall" sam
Patron Gobbler
"we broke the fourth wall" "how DARE YOU"
"poke it, I'm pretty sure it's dead but there's only one way to tell"
ashton
"don't do that" "dOn'T dO tHaT"
"wardens if you wouldn't mind fucking off"
fantasy acab
fcg segway
please heal my boy
they will never come back for that contract
"a crime scene that I MADE"
kjdfsl he hasn't has to shush them in a while
"keep taunting the dm, motherfucker"
YEEEEEEE
HE BACK
oh god
travis you cannot possibly
you cannot be the veth of this campaign
mental mind bullets
"I'm short, motherfucker" me
"you're in MY head, I should insight check YOU, INSIGHT CHECK"
"travis is like a drummer for spinal tap!"
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Damn can't believe you cut off early to avoid boring me after I ASKED you about the setting. I want the juicy details! -Foos crimes anon
sgshahshhs Ok!! then welcome to part two Whiplash edition, for those just joinimg us go read the other dnd lore post first!
same anti zen restrictions apply even tho this is all stuff she already knows,
So, lets start strong The unkillable king? did you notice how all of his big scary features (burning castles, necromancy, and mind control) were all things his generals specialized in?
thats bc hes done pretty much Nothing. bc hes effectively five years old, trapped in his forest, and the literal fallen god of decay.
The admiral, who is called Mel, woke up this old god bc she just Really hated her boss. Like she could have just taken a nap, had a good meal and then rain down so much fire on the bastard that his ashes are ashes. but she didn't because he was planning on waking The Old God in order to unleash him on the people of coltonia. and mel said "Hm! fuck that." and woke him up herself and set him up as a puppet. Mel is the brains!! She has a bob cut bc she accidentally set her hair on fire, but i Promise you shes the brains. but she didn't wake him alone, she had help from this dragon called villar.
Decay is usually called Everard bc while in disguise at a tavern that's just Barely within his circle he met a really cute bard and Panicked when the bard asked him his name. and obviously he didn't have one! he was either just Decay or the Boar King, so he Panicked and said the name of the author of the book he'd been reading. and then he fell a little in love with the bard, and then the bard stole his wallet.
And the Bard! Is! The! Interigator! he went to that tavern to play for a crowd he didn't mind charming. He can't play without charming everyone who hears bc hes both an incubus and the prince of the winter court! heir apparent! but he doesnt want to be and only found out less than two years ago at this point, on his 18th bday bc his adoptive mom sold her first child to the fucking queen of the winter court for the gift of music! she didn't think shed ever have to pay up but when she found out it was her or whatever baby she could find to call hers she started praying and begging and making deals with with whatever would listen. and one of the people who would listen was the demon lord Grazzt. who gave her one of his Many children just to see what would happen.
Anyways when he goes to the tavern there's this kinda boring looking guy? who Isnt charmed by him??? and when he trys to figure this guy out hes being all nice and sweet and he Knows this guy is into him? and Hes Not Charmed??? and then Babs trys his hellish charms, and this guy Still isnt charmed??? its like they just Bounced right off?????? and he panics bc this is the first person he can say for certain is immune to him and isnt just being nice and flirty bc they physically have to. and he falls a little in love?? he panics bc he Doesnt Know What To Do.
so he just steals the guys wallet and runs.
The inquisitor cant get through five words without having a nervous break down, and is just a little nerd whos Desperately in love with Bab's sister, and Tamm Absolutely returns his affections but they're both too nervy to actually move on it bc theyre friends! the four of them (Tamm, he identical sister Bamm, their adoptive brother Babs, and Ezekiel) are the single most notorious group of hired hands in all of coltonia??? so he cant Just Ask her bc that would ruin it Obviously.
and Those four work for a gang called the Jackalope. which is also the name of the pub/brothel the gang operates out of.
and the Jackalope is ran by Big Mama, a reclusive and mysterious woman whos perpetually being guarded by a man named Mole Hill. one of these people is a goliath, the other is a gnome. you can probably guess which is which.
and technically both babs and ezekiel are only on loan to the boar king but that changes after babs and everard get married for the second time.
and Vilar!! he was a Frequent john at the Jackalope while he was helping mel wake Everard bc he was trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. So he had his regular girl right? for an easy unwinding fuck, and she told him what nights shed be there bc hes respectful and tips well and its worth keeping him around. but one night he fucks up and asks for her when he Knows she won't be ther bc hes just Tired after chasing an arsonist around a forest all day. and before he can correct himself the girl at the desk is like Sure! she'll be right with you!.
and hes just "????" and then the girl shows up?? and they go back to the room and he Knows there's something up??? and tldr he spends a solid month trying to figured out whats going on with the shapeshifter who fills in for some of the sex workers.
anyways, hes also a bronze dragon whos in charge of making sure nobody enters coltonia from the west and has a grey render be calls his dog named anatomy. and his personality can be summed up as "bastard cat man who needs to fuck less" bc God Dammit does he have a lot of bastards.
and his arch nemesis is the gold dragon no name who blames him for the death of their son (which to be fair he blames himself for that too). she Is Hell Bent on murderizing his ass but they are too evenly matched so they're just stuck in perpetual war.
and there's other stuf but im Out Of Words.
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clockworklozenges · 3 years
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So, I think it may be time to regale you with the story of the worst heist that I, as a player, was involved in. It was in 3.5e, and genasi were a thing (thanks to the planetouched book) and with the DM getting the Savage Species book (those who read my post about Damien Fucking Bloodmoon will see where this is going, and that it will be going poorly) our group, fresh off an embarrassing TPK to what were, ostensibly, Minions who were aware of their existence being heresy in the eyes of Mother Nature, Father Time and Kooky Uncle Pop Culture - before the advent of the yellow tic-tac banana fetishists - decided that it was time for what could charitably be called the "monstrous regiment".
More accurately, it was Car Crash DnD.
The Monstrous Regiment was a mercenary group formed of the surviving crew of a plane-crossing Spelljammer vessel which had crashed in the Forgotten Realms, leaving most of the crew as social outcasts deemed as enemies of civilisation (fair enough with General Nibbles the Cannibal Goblin, though he insisted on proper table manners when eating people he respected) by the world at large, as we were all what many would deem 'exotic' or 'monster' races.
We had General Nibbles the Cannibal Goblin (not a general, General was his first name because he ate a general once and saved the nameplate from his desk, which he used as sunglasses), a Ranger who was the ship's cook and also had a level in rogue for the acquisition of what could charitably called "mystery meats". We had Table, who was a humanoid-shaped mimic bard, who could only communicate in nouns. This sounds like a handicap, but he effectively became a stellar country music singer. He was somehow the party face, since our other party members were an owlbear cleric who thought he was a bee (a big one, though. He was delusional, but not stupid), a zombie orc fighter called Mighty Green Chad and myself. I was playing as a water elemental Sorcerer called Andalf, who had water themed spells, but had been affected by the crash of the Spelljammer, making it so that he would, in moments of extreme emotional stress, explosively transform into a fire elemental called Malrog, whose spells and personality were much more firey and damaging than the calm and supportive Andalf.
An important note for later is that I could not choose when I changed between Andalf and Malrog. The DM would give me a Will Saving throw with a changing DC depending on the situation, and if I failed I changed, if I passed then I would sustain the form I had.
We had found that, in order to fix our ship and leave Ed Greenwood's magical prostitution brothel realm, we needed the aid of a wizard, who was trapped in his tower under house arrest. The key to the tower was stored in the Inn, where we had to disguise ourselves to even enter. In this respect, General Nibbles made a passable gnome (we did not ask him where he 'found' the skin-suit, but noticed that the gnomish population was less and less prominent with each day we remained in the town), and Chad, Table, Bee and myself used illusion spells and shapeshifting magic to blend in. We needed the key, and Andalf, the calm and collected Sorcerer with no damage spells at all, devised a plan of genius equivalent to the innovative spark of whichever fellow decided to stab bread before selling it.
Firstly, we have General Nibbles...do his thing and run diversionary tactics to distract the town guards, since two of the ten are always at the wizard tower, Nibbles will be given firebombs and potions to increase his speed and stealth, whereupon he'll use his chloroform (um. Don't, uh, don't ask why he has that) to give one of the bar staff a "surprise day off".
Table will mimic the...holidaying staff member, and ensure that they can ingratiate themselves with the Inn customers.
Chad, Bee and Andalf will enter as bar patrons, and whilst Chad and Bee entertain the crowd with what they certainly thought was a humorous stand up comedy routine, Andalf will distract the innkeeper and see if he can access the safe using his enchantment spells.
We leave.
Profit.
Things didn't go as planned.
For a start, Nibbles got...peckish, and ate the waiter Table was meant to become, accidentally used an explosive arrow on the second waiter we tried to ambush and exploded him, and ended up carrying the one we actually got intact with him for his part of the plan, acting like he was starring in discount, arsonist Ratatouille, dragging the unconscious waiter behind him. This meant that the bar staff was whittled down to just the innkeeper, the cook and Table.
Table himself decided, after seeing rich guests, to start doing a precarious dance and using enchantments to lock those aforementioned rich guests in their ensuites and rob them blind, meaning that nobody is keeping watch on the door, me or the civilians (especially since most think they're chickens clucking away in ensuites more like indoor outhouses than bathrooms, and the others are transfixed by the bizarre antics of Bee and Mighty Green Chad).
Bee and Mighty Green Chad get drunk, make friends and then take over the stage, performing karaoke, ventriloquism, expressive dance and a 'comedy' routine which relied on two things: one, that the audience knows that they're an owlbear and a zomborc and two, that the audience is so drunk that they would laugh at James Corden making fart noises during an Adam Sandler film. Fortunately, the bar patrons had passed that point and had reached "you're my best pal, you know" and teetering on the "you fancy a kebab? I fancy a kebab, let's get a kebab, no, the health rating doesn't matter, I fancy a kebab" stage of drunkenness.
This does mean that, of the people in the bar, the only clear-headed people are either me, the innkeeper or an abruptly kleptomaniacal mimic. The cook doesn't count as Nibbles had finished his jobs and had stuffed both the cook and the waiter into a barrel of ale, which he was also sampling judiciously.
After, the DM remarked that Nibbles thought it a fine vintage, if a bit too flammable for his tastes.
So, to sum up- the guests are trapped in their bathrooms clucking their lives away, our spy is robbing purses, our demo man is drinking not-yet-quite-corpses wine in the yard and our muscle is drunk and acting out the Two Ronnies Fork Handles sketch in slurred Scottish accents. With all this, Andalf walks in and I hear the dreaded...
"Make a Will Save"
I pass, but only just, and sweet-talk the innkeeper, using Andalf's silver tongue and high Concentration skill to get into the back room and maintain my illusory Antonio Banderas face (judge me all you want, I have taste in fake faces), and she leaves the room to get some Elven wine from the next room. With only a thin wooden wall between me and her, I find the key, but to grab it is a risk...and of course...
"Make me a Will Save"
And whilst I get the key from the draw...I fail the will save, becoming Malrog, flinging the key across the room and causing the innkeeper to rush back in, howling about a demon who burned up the man she was seducing. Then she sees the fire.
So, as part of the transformation, the DM flavoured it as a small wave of flame or water pulsing outwards from the now-Malrog or now-Andalf respectively. Whilst it did a tiny amount of damage, the flame burst from the Andalf to Malrog transformation would ignite anything flammable in a 10-foot radius around me. This includes wooden floors, ceilings, furniture and, sadly, innkeepers.
So, the innkeeper runs out screaming about a demon (and being on fire, which is understandable when you're on fire) and leaves me alone, the key in a raging inferno near the safe, the room on fire and the fire spreading into the rooms filled with alcohol. And as I reach into the fire...
"Make me a Will Save"
Upstairs, the party have noticed the fire, and whilst Table the mimic leaves out the back window (landing on Nibbles), Bee and Chad drunkenly herd equally drunken civilians out, vaguely aware that the Very Hungry Goblin out back ate the waiters responsible for putting fires out, and the guards are dealing with multiple smaller fires across town.
I fail the will save, burning myself on the key, which causes me to re-transform after another failed will save, melting the safe key in my hand and causing the alcohol to explode, making the inn begin to crumble around me.
Bee and Chad are eagerly trying to get out, to the point where they're just throwing commoners out of the windows and through the walls to get them out of the way. They escape, and hurriedly leave before the cops turn up.
Faced with death, Malrog burns up all his spells to try Melt his way into the safe since the key is gone. This melts the safe shut. As a result of the stress from thoroughly beansing up the one job I had, I change back, and now begin to take fire damage as well as bludgeoning from the falling debris.
We did all escape, thanks to Nibbles being unable to resist the smell of cooking flesh and finding our unconscious bodies. However, the inn burned down, the innkeeper mourned Antonio Banderas and we left that wizard to die of starvation in his tower, along with the town.
After all, it pays to know when your welcome is worn out, and when it is burned to cinders.
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darkelfshadow · 4 years
Text
Session Summary - 96
AKA “A whole lot of rub and no tug”
Adventures in Taggriell
Session 96  (Date: 16th October 2020)
Players Present:
- Rob (Known as “Varis”) Elf Male.
- Bob (Known as “Sir Krondor) Dwarf Male.
- Paul (Known as “Labarett”) Elf Male.
- Travis (Known as “Trenchant”) Human Male.
- Arthur (Known as “Gim”) Dwarf Male.
Absent Players
- John (Known as “Ragnar”) Dwarf Male. <Play by Rob>
NPC
- (Known as “Naillae”) Elf Female. <Controlled by Travis>
Summary
- Oathday, 11th Desnus in the year 815 (Second Era). Summer.
- The party begin this session, having just set sail down the inland river headed back towards the Golden Channel. Gim hands over his Lion Greataxe to Galin The Blacksmith on board the ship, to start the work needed to attach the Moon Gem to his weapon.
- The ship arrives five hours later, in the early evening, at the port city of Phlan.
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- Captain Lerustah and his men have prepared the ship to look like a common merchant ship, as opposed to an armed military ship. There are less Cult forces on the jetty than the last time the party arrived during daylight hours, and after a cursory check, the ship is allowed to dock without incident.
- Trenchant uses one of his spells to disguise the entire party. Trenchant, now looking like a low and non-influential merchant lord, is accompanied by a group that appears to have scruffy looking personal guards, ugly hand maidens, and poor servants. The group leaves the dock, with a warning from a Cult Officer to behave themselves in the city or else face consequences. Trenchant shows the proper fear and submissiveness, to the Cult Officer, that allows them passage into the city.
- The party make their way over to the Tea Kettle, where the small female Halfling proprietor Madame Freona, greets them kindly but advises them that as the shop is due to close shortly they can not get service.
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- When Trenchant, still disguised, speaks out loudly to Olisara Lightsong (Harper), seated in the far corner, the Harper recognises who the group is. Olisara tells Madame Freona to let these guests in and she does so, organising seats, refreshing drinks and an assortment of delicious tasting foods. The party can not remember eating this well.
- The party and Olisara, discuss what has happened since they left and about the new mission they are on. She tells them the Cult has taken over Phlan as a base of operations for locating a new Pool Of Radiance, somewhere south west, near something called Kranun’s Crater.
- The party learn that thanks to their information, Olisara is now in contact with one of the resistance leaders: Captain Jhessail Greycastle. Greycastle is now working with the Harpers and the location of her base of operations is now known. Olisara has been unable to find out who the other resistance leader is, “The Black Knight”.
- Olisara gives the party five monks robes, of the Order of Mishakai, who do regular visits to the Grimshackle Jail. They learn their contact in the Jail, Glevith, is a member of the Welcomers (Thieves Guild) and has been assisting the Harpers with information and other things during the Cult intrusion. Olisara warns the party not to attack or harm any of the City Watch guards in the Jail, as they are not bad people. She gives the party the name of one of the Watch Sergeants, Bhevek, who can escort the party to see Glevith.
- The party then head over to the Cracked Crown Inn. Ellywick, the female Gnome owner of the inn, lets the party inn. The party speak to Seranolla The Whisperer (Emerald Enclave) and discuss anything she might know about the Pool Of Radiance. She tells the party that this area has attracted many pure Arcane stars, falling from the heavens to make lakes or pools of power, known as Pools Of Radiance. A shooting star was seen heading south over Phlan a few months ago. The last known confirmed pool was just off Phlan, falling into Thorn Island where Sokol Keep stands. The stars fall all over this region, sometimes falling into the same place more than once, as if attracted to fall by some force. She believes Kranun’s Crater was a previous location where a massive star fell creating a lake size pool of power. She does not know exactly where this crater is, as this was a very long time ago, though she thinks it may lay south of Lake Enion, which forms the border of the Elvish lands. She warns the party to be on the look out for increased Bulette activity in that area.
- The party come up with a plan to enter Grimshackle Jail. The three Dwarves wait in a nearby sewer exit, keeping the Jail under observation, ready for trouble. Varis, Labarett, Naillae and Trenchant wear the Robes Of Mishakai, and approach the Jail pretending to be priests wishing to perform their regular services to the prisoners.
- The guards let the disguised party members in, and send for Sergeant Bhevek, when Trenchant asks for him by name. The Sergeant attends and leads the party away, recognising the party as the ones he was waiting for from Olisara. He takes the party up the four levels of the massive tower, passing many cells holding about a hundred prisoners. The guards are well dressed and well behaved. The prisoners do not appear mistreated.
- He ushers them up to an area that is sectioned off from the rest. A single door leads to a large cell that has no neighbours. Inside is a well appointed room, with a comfortable bed and chair, a writing desk with a papers and inks on it, along with a plate of food and cup with water.
- A figure with a stern thin face seats on the chair, holding a leather bound book. He looks up at the party, the light from a nearby lantern reflected on his slick greasy black hair. His thin lips smile slightly under a large bent nose, “I’m so glad you’ve come. I was beginning to worry that Olisara did not get my message.”
- Sergeant Bhevek moves to wait back at the door, just out of hearing, whilst the party speak to Glevith. They discuss what information he has. He confirms he knows exactly where the Cult is going, as some of his people have seen paper records and maps showing the location of Kranun’s Crater. He tells the party he is willing to give this information over if they agree to rescue his younger sister, Lilly, from her enforced servitude in the Red Glove. A brothel and gambling den run by a gang of criminals lead by an evil man by the name of Gillim. He describes his sister has attractive with long fair hair.
- The party quickly agree to this and leave Grimshackle Jail. Once back in the city proper, they head over to the brothel, a well made and maintained two story building. Trenchant disguises the party and attempts to gain entry, but when he enquires after the name of Lilly, they are refused entry by a suspicious female care taker called Madame Star.
- The party drop the disguise and approach the brothel as themselves and this time gain entry. The are greeted by Madame Star, who supervises the girls and entertainment. The party walk through a long and well appointed entry hall, under the watchful eye of two heavily armoured guards, and walking through a heavy red curtain enter a large drinking room. Various customers sit around the room, with serving girls bringing drinks and an assortment of naked women talking and laughing with the customers at the tables. A female entertainer plays a flute off to the side, with much apparent skill, as a girl dressed in translucent and revealing loose clothing, dances in front of her. Two more guards are visible standing in front of a set of large double doors behind a long wooden serving bar.
- Whilst the party remain downstairs, Sir Krondor and Trenchant ask Madame Star if they can pay to meet the girls privately. She has them disarm and leave all their weapons in a wall cupboard and then follow her up stairs to the private rooms. She makes five of the girls come out to line up for their inspection whilst Trenchant uses magic to read the minds of the presented girls to see if any of them are Lilly. When none are, he asks Madame Star about a door at the far end of the hall that has two armoured soldiers wearing House colours. She informs the pair that they are the personal guards of some nobles playing in the gambling den. The pair ask if they can join in and she leads them to the gambling den, a large lavish room, filled with more personal guards and with a round table in the middle of the room. Seated around the round table are three very well dressed men, obviously powerful merchant lords, with a large pile of coins on the table that glitter in the torch light. A thin attractive female with long fair hair, dressed in rich silk clothes, is serving drinks to the men. Trenchant quickly learns that this girl is Lilly. Sir Krondor and Trenchant have to improvise a plan to get her out.
- Not wishing to be left out, Varis decides to go out stairs too. He waits until Madame Star can show him upstairs, removes all his weapons (except for one dagger he hides) and he selects one girl to take into a private room. Once inside he begins questioning her about how many girls are here, the number of guards and other information that will help the party.
- Back in the gambling den, Sir Krondor declares he must have this serving girl immediately as she is the most beautiful thing he as ever seen. Madame Star takes Sir Krondor and Lilly out of the gambling den and into a private room, opposite to where Varis is. Sir Krondor tells Lilly they are here to rescue her but she insists that they rescue all the girls as they are all here against their will.
- Meanwhile, downstairs, Labarett has been stewing. He has been looking at the faces of the girls, which though are smiling are obvious they do not wish to be here. He can see faint bruises on some of them. His anger is building. His rage at this unjust treatment is building. He will not stand by and do nothing whilst these girls are being held, their freedom removed.
- Labarett stands up, determination on his face. Naillae looks across and sees the expression on his face, “Labarett, where are you going? We have to wait …”
- Labarett does not stop or respond, he continues to walk towards the bar, his hands moving towards his longsword.
- Ragnar quickly moves up, “Change of plans! Backup Labarett!”
- As he says this Labarett breaks into a run, his speed carrying him towards the first guard before anyone even knows what is happening. Mayhem breaks out as the battle starts. At first the guards are caught in surprise but they quickly rally and the ex-soldiers show they know how to handle themselves in a fight.
- The female entertainer, actually a Bard, jumps onto the bar and starts hurtling spells at the party. Ragnar tries to summon his Spirit Guardians around him but the Bard stops the spell with a well timed Counter Spell.
- The large double doors near the bar open as more guards appear and worse yet, a massive Flesh Golem charges out. Naillae, leaps up and slides down the bar, and then leaps towards the Flesh Golem her enchanted dagger hitting and slicing down the torso of the creature. She leans back in horror as she sees her attack did nothing, her daggers having no effect.
- Ragnar looks over at the Flesh Golem shouting, “Only weapons made of adamantine can harm it!”
- Naillae quickly disengages and moves away from the Golem. The party start to panic as they realise none of them have adamantine weapons.
- Meanwhile, upstairs, the sound of the battle can be heard. All the personal guards race to surround and protect their respective lords whilst Trenchant casts a powerful Mass Suggestion spell on the group. All but one guard and one lord, falls under his suggestion, which is to accompany him and guard the girls back to the jetty.
- Varis runs out of his room, the hidden dagger now in his hands and leaps towards two brothel guards waiting at the top of a set of stairs.
- Sir Krondor comes out too but pretends to be drunk and confused. Varis runs back away from the guards just as Trenchant arrives from around the corner, casting Fear on the two guards. They both immediately run down the stairs, terror on their faces.
- Sir Krondor tells Lilly to grab all the rest of the girls and follow them downstairs.
- Meanwhile, downstairs, the fight has been continuing, as more guards have arrived to join the fight, including the gang leader Gillim. Gillim stays back, firing crossbow bolts from his office.
- Ragnar, frustrated with the battle points his finger at the open office, where Gillim and the Golem are. He casts Fireball, a small orange point of light hurtling from his finger towards the open office.
- Gim and Labarett do not notice this, the battle lust over coming them. So too, the hostile Bard does not notice Ragnar’s spell, otherwise she would have not hesitated to Counter Spell it, knowing how dangerous that spell would be in a wooden building.
- Naillae, the only one to see Ragnar cast the spell, watches the fast moving orange dot fly across the room with a look or pure shock and fear. But before she can get the words out, “You stupid son of …” a massive explosion comes from the open office as the Fireball explodes.
- Heat and wind comes out from the room. Flames begin to spread over the carpet covered wooden floor, wood reinforced clay walls, and exposed wood beam ceiling. Black smoke begins to fill the lower floor. Screams of panic fill the air, as all pretence at fighting stops as everyone begins running towards the single locked front door.
- The others upstairs hear the massive explosion which shakes the building. Sir Krondor bellows, “One job! They had one job! Just wait for us! I’m going to…”
- Trenchant interrupts him, “Not now Krondor! We need to all run! RUN!”
- There is now a massive stampede going. Everyone is trying to run to the only door, which has a massive metal bar, and three turn locks on it. One of the brothel guards is trying to open it but in his fear and panic, seeing the flames and smoke fill the room, along with a massive Flesh Golem picking up people and throwing them out of his way, his shaking hands keep failing.
- The Brothel Bard quickly steps up to him, plunging a knife into his neck, so she can instead calmly open the three locks. Labarett leans around her and with a mighty heave, pulls the heavy metal bar away. As the door opens, letting in fresh cold air, Varis shoots an arrow at the back of the Bard, dropping her dead, and clearing the doorway.
- The others from above have run downstairs and quickly retrieve their stowed gear.
- Ragnar standing near the office which is now an inferno of heat and flames, is summoning food and water, by casting his spell over and over. Each time he directs all the water to appear at the front of the fire. This is slowing the spread but only somewhat, but it is just enough to buy everyone enough time to run outside of the front door.
- The party, still escorted by the two merchants and their personal guards under a Suggestion, casually walk down the street as the tavern flames lit up the entire street. A group of Cult forces and locals are running towards the tavern.
<And as the party walk away from the scene of destruction, the sound of fire and battle as the Flesh Golem begins randomly attacking the arriving Cult Forces, that is the end of the session.>
XP Allocation
Group - Combined (This is equally divided by the number of players who were involved)
Quests (Only quests that are completed or rendered undoable, during this session, are shown here)
- “Ships Passing In The Night” - Enter Phlan Undetected By Cult = 500 XP
- “In And Out Again” - Rescue Lilly Undetected = FAIL
- “Freedom For All” - Release Entrapped Women (12) = 2400 XP
- “Secrets & Lies” - Recover Blackmail Journal of Gillim = FAIL
Creatures Overcome
- Gang Enforcers = 3500 XP
- Bard = 450 XP
- Gang Leader (Gillim) = 100 XP
Individual (This is only given to that person and is not divided amongst all players)
Special Bonus (Outstanding Role Playing)
Nil
XP Levels and Player Allocations
Player : Start +  Received = Total  (Notes)
Rob : 125088 + 1240 = 126328
Arthur : 99794 + 992 = 100786 (Level up to Level 12)
John : 95611 + 744 = 96355
Travis : 114986 + 992 = 115978
Paul : 104469 + 992 = 105461
Bob : 115627 + 992 = 116619
NPC (Naillae) : + (496)
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Text
A Princes Gamble
A Todoroki Fantasy AU
Request for Anon. ♥️
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In a kingdom far , far away. Lived a Prince with his family. He was the youngest of his siblings and would not be inheriting the kingdom anytime soon. Because of this the Prince was subjected to rigorous training with his father.
His oldest brother, Touya, was spending his days with lessons on running the kingdom from his father. But by night he was sneaking out and spending time at the local taverns or brothels.
The second oldest Fuyumi, his sister, spent her days caring for the kingdom, cleaning,cooking . Her father was also arranging a marriage for her to bind two kingdoms together.
The third oldest was Natsuo, a proud knight. Throwing his life on the line for his kingdom and family. His army settled wars and brought peace to the land.
The training was hard on the Prince day in and day out. He had no interest in running the kingdom and this angered his father. He told him he would need an heir to keep the family going and the Prince did not want to do that either. He wanted to travel, see the world and everything it had to offer.
So on a very early Tuesday morning the Prince snuck out of the castle. He creeped to the stables to find Touya in one asleep, he had a bottle in his hand and smelled of perfume . The Prince quickly took the bottle emptying it out . He then shook his brother awake .
“Touya, Touya,”
“Hmm….?” His voice was very soothing, like velvet. It was one reason the ladies loved him so much. He opened an eye seeing his youngest brother.
“Touya, you're in the stables again. Go change before Father sees”
“Always looking out for me Shoto.” He placed a hand on his brother's head pulling himself up, staggering till he regained his ficus. “Whereeee are you going?”
“I just want to explore.” Shoto said getting on his horse. “I'll be back before Father notices.”
Touya waved lazilly at his Brother and stumbled into the castle.
Shoto took off , his brother would be okay. He did this almost every night and Father never noticed. He rode out of the kingdom into the village that sat right at the bottom of it. No one was out so no one would see him. He left the village following a path to his left.
Meanwhile , at the end of that path sat a lesser known village to the kingdom. It was very small, maybe only 30 residents. They were taxed heavily because of their location. It was near a forest that had monsters in it. Dragons, fae, witches, ogres But also some gnomes and fairies who were kind to those who were kind to them.
You often spent time in this forest gathering herbs for medicines for your people. You were the village healer and you enjoyed it very much. The monsters never bothered you surprisingly, you healed them too if needed. You were sitting on a rock mixing up some herbs in a basket early this morning.
Shoto had followed the path all the way down, taking in everything he saw. Fields, horses, stone walls, merchant stalls . The villages he noticed got lesser and lesser in quality the farther he got away from his kingdom. The homes looked weak and made out of wood instead of stone, the fields were empty and the merchant stalls were scarce. Did Father know of this?
He took a turn into the forest slowing to a trot to a walk. The forest was very pretty, the sun poked in through open holes in the leaves giving the ground a spotted look. He passed little mushrooms and stone houses , he also found some large paw prints . Shoto go off his horse to inspect them. Wolves? Wolves were still around? But a village is so close by. ..
His horse stomped its hoof and Shoto looked back seeing him stomp again and walk in a circle. Shoto went over grabbing the reins trying to calm the horse.
“Shh... it's okay.” The horse was not listening though, it ripped free of Shoto’s grip running off out of the forest.
Shoto still had his hands out when he heard something behind him. Slowly he turned to see a ogre staring down at him. It was breathing heavily. Making Shoto’s hair swish around. The ogre hit him with his arm sending him flying right into your lap.
“ WAHH!!!” You held your basket up just in time to save it . Shoto rubbed his spinning head till he saw you.
You were red in the face and very.. cute to him.yoir dress looked a little old and ragged though, you smelled of herbs and flowers. Shoto got red in the face and pulled himself up holding his bleeding arm.
“Run… there's a .. ogre..” he coughed out.
You both heard a groan , it sounded close. You dashed in front of Shoto with your arms out.
“What are you doing?!?” He asked trying to get you to move
The ogre emerged swinging his arm into a nearby tree.
“The law states you cannot hurt humans, ogre. Or you'll be killed.” You said.
The ogre stomped its foot but you didn't move . Shoto was speechless watching you.
“Go home . And ill forget i saw this.”
The ogre turned away to leave and you sighed turning around . It was the Prince .. the Prince of the Todoroki Kingdom.. what the heck was he doing out here?!?
“Your .. hurt..”
“Im fine..”
You sat him down even though he tried to refuse you. You pulled your basket over rummaging through your leaves and herbs. Shoto watched closely, you must be a herbalist.. hes never seen one before. You wrapped a damp leaf around his arm and tied it with some grass.
“Just.. keep this on for a day. Can you walk?”
“ i can.. walk..”
Shoto stood up and fell into you.
“Oh yeah tough guy? “ you pulled his arm over your shoulder helping him stand. “Cmon.. lets get you to my home to rest,”
Meanwhile Fuyumi was by the stables starting her day when Shotos' horse scared her. She quickly grabbed the reins calming the horse.
“Shhh… what's gotten into you? Do you know where Shoto is?”
The horse started to get Spooked again and Fuyumi brought him to the stalls to calm down. Where was Shoto?
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randomisthefandom · 5 years
Text
a list of my favorite funny shadowhunter chronicles quotes:
it’s the mortal cup jace, not the mortal toilet bowl.
“how was the seelie queen?” “same as usual.” “raging bitch, then?” “pretty much”
no, i’m a very naughty boy. i do all sorts of bad things. i kick kittens. i make rude gestures at nuns.
“what’s this?” “it’s a girl, alec. your sister isabelle is one.”
the clave has the collective intelligence of a pineapple.
i thought i’d lie on the floor and writhe in pain for awhile. it relaxes me.
that’s simon lewis, and he is my boyfriend. so if any of you think about trying to hurt him because he's a mundie or--may the angel have mercy on your soul--pursuing him romantically, i will come after you, i will hunt you down and i will crush you to powder.
i was going to watch project runway. it’s on next
never trust a duck.
nobody calls me ‘blondie’ and keeps their kneecaps.
meanwhile, i wanted to tell you that lately i’ve been cross-dressing. also, i’m sleeping with your mom. i thought you should know.
speaking of hope, did you see that shot alec got off with his bow? that’s my boyfriend.
i think she asked if she could touch my mango.
i was alive when the dead sea was just a lake that was feeling rather poorly.
usually i’m remarkably good natured. try me on a day that doesn’t end in y.
a warlock who looks like a gay sonic the hedge hog and dresses like the child catcher from chitty chitty bang bang.
hot faerie threesome. i can say i knew you when.
i’m pure at heart. it repels the dirt.
“and i don't know how to be smooth, sexy vampire simon for you, either!" “you were never that smooth, simon.”
not necessarily. i turn myself down occasionally just to keep it interesting.
it isn’t against the law to be an idiot.
first candy and flowers, then the apology letters, then the ravenous demon hoards- all in one day.
demon pox, oh demon pox. just how is it acquired? one must go down to the bad part of town until one is very tired. demon pox, oh demon pox, i had it all along—not the pox, you foolish blocks, i mean this very song— for i was right, and you were wrong!
"a...lord montgomery? you dated a member of the nobility? how am I ever going to compete with that?" "you’re lord montgomery, simon!”
“‘will. do you care more about the plan being enacted or about getting credit for it?” “that. the second one.”
i am a man and men do not consume pink beverages.
oh, i’m sorry. is there a different highway you’d like to die on? because we can arrange that.
the meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited like me.
but he hurt jules, so when we track him down, i am going to chop him up and feed him to my fish. well, i’m going to buy some. i’m going to buy goldfish and feed them blood until they acquire a taste for human flesh.
when i first arrived in london, i so quickly tired of being surrounded by so many people that it was only with great difficulty that i refrained from seizing the next unfortunate who crossed my path and committing violent acts upon their person.
i see you have decided to follow in the long herondale tradition of poor decision-making.
“so you just came here to torture me and talk about yourself?” “oh, simon, simon, simon. you may not remember, but that's kind of our thing.”
i’ve heard the word ‘fear’, i simply choose to believe it doesn’t apply to me.
“i’m trying to figure out how someone could live in a brothel for a month and not notice. you must be terribly dull-witted. if it helps at all, it seemed to be quite a high-class establishment. nicely furnished, fairly clean...” “sounds as if you've visited your fair share of brothels. making a study of them?” “more of a hobby.’”
“jesus!” “actually, it’s just me, although i’ve been told the resemblance is startling.”
nice, bah. he’s gorgeous. you should leave him here. i could hang hats on him and things.
that’s why when major bad asses greet each other in movies, they don’t say anything, they just nod. the nod means ‘I am a badass and I recognize that you, too, are a badass’, but they don’t say anything because they’re wolverine and magneto and it would mess up their vibe to explain.
i’m a werewolf not a golden retriever.
i’ll crash the wedding. i’ll jump out of the cake, but not in a sexy way. like, with grenades
did you ever think that in a past life alec was an old woman with ninety cats who was always yelling at the neighborhood kids to get off her lawn? because i do.
“have you got a spider anywhere?” “why would i have a spider? do i look like someone who would collect them?” “no offense, but you kind of do.”
unfortunately, we are all out of bitter revenge at the moment. so it’s either tea or nothing.
“i’m not gay. i’m not straight. i’m not interested.” “your sexuality is ‘not interested’?” “that’s right.”
just kissing? how quickly you dismiss our love.
you had to make a crazy jail friend didn’t you? you couldn’t just count ceiling tiles or tame a pet mouse like normal prisoners do?
just coffee. black like my soul.
magnus did not have enormous respect for the law, but if he was breaking it he wanted to look good doing it.
i don’t want to grow up, i want to be an angst ridden teenager who can’t confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead.
“magnus, you were trying to flirt with your own plate.” “i’m a very open-minded sort of fellow!” “ragnor is not. when he found out that you were feeding us guinea pigs, he hit you over the head with your plate. it broke.” “so ended our love. ah, well. It would never have worked between me and the plate anyway.”
“when will says 'enterprising', he means 'morally deficient.” “no, I mean enterprising. when i mean morally deficient, i say, ‘now that's something i would have done.’”
never believe the bad guy is dead until you see a body. that just leads to unhappiness and surprise ambushes.
“i promise to charm the dickens out of him. i shall charm him with such force that when i am done, he will be left lying limply on the ground, trying to remember his own name.” “the man's eighty-nine. he may well have the problem anyway.”
i thought: classic jace. never makes a mess when a catastrophe will do.
“that’s not the spirit of the law, emma. remember? ‘the law is hard, but it is the law’” “i thought it was ‘the law is annoying, but it is also flexible.’”
“a little girl robbed you?” “actually she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of six-fingered nigel.”
“goodness. if you keep seeing six-fingered nigel like this, he'll expect you to declare your intentions."
you told us to leave you in the desert, because you planned to start a new life as a cactus.
your pretense does not fool me, gnome. my eye will be upon you.
of course, for a badass warrior, jace is kind of prissy.
good proverb. however, like most proverbs, it sounds wise and yet does not actually clarify anything.
let me just follow up by describing what a big mistake you would be making if you broke up with alec. the lightwoods are seriously hot people. some people say the herondales used to be hot, but think about it-not only do we outnumber them, but we took their last hottie and we made him ours. obviously, we won the victory.
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jamiebluewind · 5 years
Text
Character Descriptions for Fantasy High
Season 2, Episode 6
SPOILERS!
Yall... I don't even know if there's a point to doing this week because I currently wanna go hide under a rock for a week, but still. Also, keep in mind what was in the episode tonight for warnings as this is fairly detailed.
As always, let me know if I need to edit or add anything and tag/ask/PM me about art and stories so I can check them out!
***
New characters and additions to previously introduced characters...
Garthy: Plays harpsichord. Has red neon outline wings when they kneel at their shrine. The shrine room is filled with red, pink, and orange candles with a silvery pentagram drawn on the floor in chalk. The Gold Gardens is a complex celestial rune centered on their living quarters in the center (it has been hallowed) which makes them more powerful within their establishment (which is a pirate casino and brothel which also has shows, bars, massage parlours, baths, and spas).
Pirate janitor: Very old. Scruffy. Two peg legs. Walks with a waddle. Carries a mop.
Bill's Cult: 20 people (only 4-5 survive the battle). Wear robes, but have traditional pirate garb underneath. Many have eyepatches. All are poor and hungry. Four have repelling blast (including Chungle) which looks like a pure stream of golden coins which vanish in flame when they hit the target and sounds like a slot machine at Vegas. They have paid Bill nearly 350,000 gp for services.
Alester (sp?): Was left behind by Fabian during the battle (the only one of the warlocks left that wasn't dead and was still loyal to Fabian). Was prone and may or may not be dead
Creeky McBarrel: Parrot aarakocra that's best friends with Old Young Benjamin. No humanoid ears, but great hearing. Died from an attack from James Wicklaw.
Old Young Benjamin: Banderlog. Probably lives up in the rigging. 6.5 feet tall, but only 90lbs. Long limbed and gawky. Might walk on hands. Son of Old Benjamin, but there's a newer Young Benjamin which is why he's Old Young Benjamin. Bolted after Creeky was killed.
Chungle-Down Bimothy: aka Chungle-Down Bim. Gnome. Beard has been shaped into 6 distinct mustaches making a multi level huge mustache. Snaggle teeth of various materials including wood, silver, and gold. Scooped pasta into his coat. Probably crazy. Can do eldritch blast and repelling blast. Said Fabian was no pirate and Bill would spit in his eye. Attacked Fabian when Fabian fell back.
James Wicklaw: Uses a crystal cutlass which can deal psychic damage due to the sheer hatred he has for the Seacasters. Psychic damage ability that looks like heat coming off a hot grill that violently shook the warlock cultists so hard that they fell apart and died. Has eaten the brains of several of Fabian's siblings.
Nightmare Fabian: Sad doughy middle aged Fabian with a whisp of a comb over and a voice like Gilear. Soft papery wet hand. Button up shirt and slacks. Eats a lot of yogurt. Built a tourist attraction memorial to his father with beautiful sunny fields, giant marble Bill stature, wings of his father's accomplishments, and pictures of his father, his mother, and the house, but none of Fabian himself. Thinks the memorial is the best thing he could have ever done and says it defines his self worth. Said "Why would I put pictures of myself here? I don't deserve them. Very cocky. Papa wouldn't like it at all." followed by manic laughter.
Shadow Cat/Calina: Slit pupils with double eyelids. Cold and selfish with a false kind tone.
Fabian: After he jumped, he was covered in silk bloomers (with one over his head at the start) and found partially cocooned in underwear and ropes, hanging upside down 7 feet from the ground, and badly injured with blood dripping "up" his neck and face, through his silvery hair, and onto a puddle beneath him. At the end of the episode, he ripped off his Owlbears jacket (most likely discarded, but possibly stored, carried, or recovered) and put the eyepatch in his pocket (he also admitted earlier that he missed his eye), caught pneumonia (shaking with fever, vomited a couple times), soaked with seawater, and may or may not still have dried blood in his hair. He seems broken. Cathilda found him and put a blanket on him.
Riz: Healing black ink tattoos which have plastic wrap on them in the beginning. Are red and might be bleeding ans/or weeping (would being healed fix that?). Broken arm (was he healed? would it be sore?). Looked like a tiny bouncer while guarding Fabian.
Fig and Gorgug: Recovering from shoulder dislocation (both healed). Fig disguised herself as Jamina temporarily while zipping through the city. Both look like they've been in a cold temp drier for 45 minutes.
Kristen: Ribbon on a stick
Adaine: Razor scooter
Cathilda: Best mom energy
The Hangman: Sword of the Seacasters plunged through his engine and leaking oil. Strapped to the top of Van.
Sandra Lynn: At one point has shirt and shorts on backwards and mussed hair, but clothing was on normally by the end.
***
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noonmutter · 5 years
Note
Tell how you first met each of the wives and girlfriends and when you knew you were in love with them and when you actually said it. And the same for any boyfriends/male lovers you might have - how did you meet them. Are you in love with them? Inquiring minds want to know.
Oh jeez so quick disclaimer, Leon remembers all of these and while he can’t recite the calendar dates, he knows when they happened and it’s part of why he’s so damned loved. I, however, have a brain wholly reliant on logs and written records, and the logs for both of his wives were devoured in a WoWscribe glitch a few years ago. I roughly remember the sequence of events, but not when exactly these things happened; I can’t even remember the year reliably! Because of that, I/he approximate the story kind of a lot…
AND HOLY SHIT THIS IS LONG WOW
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HAVE A CUT
Leon first meets Kaewynn at a get-together he stumbled across in Stranglethorn. It’s one of his earliest interactions in RP, actually; he still introduces himself as Cambor, and is still trapped in worgen form. He’s still homeless, still wanders a lot, and isn’t yet much of a cook. He chats with her a while, and the evening ends with her smooching him. He is mightily pleased with himself. (Fun fact, in Leon’s early months, he got a smooch–or more–from someone every single time I sent him out to RP even though he never once actively sought it, this is why I shake my fist at him for being so GOD DAMN charming)
Leon and Kaewynn just keep on running into each other off and on, mostly because he keeps attending the Meddler-run event, Inkwell, and Kaewynn (a member of the Silver Dragoons) shows up frequently. Eventually they slip away to have some fun together, because they’re both fine with flings and no-strings sex, and they’re both pretty keen on one another. Their first time (I believe) is in a mineshaft at the Dragoon garrison in alternate Draenor.
Time passes, he and Kaewynn get more and more affectionate and more and more time is spent walking off on their own to either talk or fuck or both. After one particularly interesting conversation in which Leon told her his real name and was able to shift out of worgen for for a few seconds, and she told him the meaning of hers, he baffledly admitted to the only witness, “I’m in real trouble, I think I’m in love.”
They went on their first proper Actually a Date in Ulduar, because he’d never been there and Kaewynn wanted to show it to him, having some pretty intimate knowledge of the place (spoiler alert she’s a robot that got hit with the curse of flesh no seriously she actually is). 
Leon, despite being warned by a few people who knew Kaewynn that she didn’t really know what to do with the concept of love (long story, but it’s kinda literal–think “Data” here and you’ve got the gist of the problem), eventually confesses that he’s in love with her. This doesn’t go so hot, but she gives him a variation on the “just friends” speech and they both lie to themselves and each other and say that’s fine, and the rest of the night goes as originally intended, ending with Copious Amounts Of Fucking.
They are both emotionally underdeveloped idiots so of course they spend a while feeling more and more awkward and eventually Kaewynn breaks things off with him because she feels like she’s using him and …stuff. Like I said, they’re idiots.
And now we switch focus, and rewind a little because I’m pretty sure this is the part where the timing was both hilarious and infuriating.
Enter Pinapple.
A while back, Leon had seen a gnome woman throwing a bit of a tantrum at one of the Inkwell gatherings, though he hadn’t known why at the time. He eventually found out that it was because she’d been exposed to a shitload of radiation and was in a serious depressive spiral for some pretty good reasons (I don’t think it was actually cancer but it was basically cancer). 
Being Leon, and being that he’d been given access to a kitchen and the opportunity to learn to cook, he sent this complete stranger a box of treats because hospital food sucks. 
Months down the line, we come to the Silver Dragoons’ Halloween party. Pin has recovered after some risky surgeries n’stuff and is trottin’ about the place, shmoozin’ like y’do, and eventually comes across Leon. They got to talking, he got the chance to introduce himself properly, they eventually sat down to have drinks together. In probably the biggest spike of bravery she’d had for a long time before or since, she hit him with the equivalent of “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” and they did.
He and Pin have a lot of fun together, and they romp along at a pretty good clip for about a month. Eventually during a bit of pillow talk, Pin accidentally says “I love you, you goofball” and they have a Serious Conversation in which he admits he’s not really at that same place, but it didn’t make things wierd at all. Pin being significantly more emotionally mature than Kaewynn, this works out better, and their friendship does not fall apart.
A bit later on, The Voice Of Reason happens and after he nearly dies and is recovering in the Dragoon garrison infirmary, Leon tells Pin he loves her, too.
LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY Kaewynn tells him she wants to reconcile and asks him to take her back. This was not planned, none of us knew it was going to happen, Kae’s mun didn’t know Leon and Pin had swapped L-words, I nearly threw up laughing. That same night, Leon and Pin and Kaewynn have the single most awkward relationship conversation they could possibly have, because oh by the way did I mention Kaewynn and Pin had been in a relationship once long before Leon ever showed up, and it’d ended because Kaewynn couldn’t do love? Because that’s a thing that happened.
Leon somehow managed not to go bald during all this.
Also he asked them to marry him the following February. Though they both said yes, the ceremony never did happen, and the events of Legion saw Pin dead and both Leon and Kaewynn horribly broken. The two of them sorta gently bullied their mutual friend, Rhiswyn, into performing the marriage between them, because one of the group dying made them worried they’d never get the chance.
Leon and Pin still haven’t formally wed, because after she came back, they were both quietly terrified that if they made it official, something else would rip it apart. They call each other husband and wife, but Pin’s the only one that isn’t actually married out of the trio.
It gets a bit harder for me after this, because I was terrible at tagging things for a while on tumblr and I cannot for the LIFE of me remember how I first encountered @safrona-shadowsun. The earliest posts I actually tagged under her tag, “fizzy,” were confessionals between him and the red courier at the Ledgermaine in Dalaran. Theirs is a very, very complex relationship, but it’s very easy to (over)simplify it:
Leon is a nurturer and he saw a lot of himself in Safrona, which is a terrible thing because he is incredibly depressed and prone to fits of self-loathing. He worried about her a lot when they first started hanging out, and he devoted a lot of energy to trying to draw her out of the incredibly thick shell she’d built around herself. As things progressed over ages and ages and ages, they became business partners, and she directed an acquaintance of hers his way.
Leon’s tradition up to that point had been to put the initials of serious lovers into his collar. Committed but unmarried is engraved (that’s P, for Pin), married is branded (that’s K, for Kaewynn).
Vandrysse… is hard for me to talk about. I only knew her mun for a little over a year before I received word that she had suddenly died.
Vandy is the reason I mention that Leon’s collar still has a nearly-faded “V” on it. She was the third woman he confessed he loved. That conversation was the last time I got to RP with her. I consider it a form of memorial to never let that V actually disappear no matter how long it’s been.
anyway moving on
I cannot actually remember which one happened first, meeting Murkey or confessing his attraction to Safrona, and tracking down the posts for the latter is not easy because Tumblr’s search engine is a JOKE. Regardless, Leon did confess to the courier after some years that he was in love with her, though I’m sure by that time she wasn’t really all that surprised beyond the way he presented it. It was downright artful, the boy was trying. But this is Safrona we’re talking about, and she gently but firmly shut him down, and that was the end of it. Though it made their friendship more than a little tense for a while, they’ve gotten over it by now. He still pines, but wouldn’t you? And he keeps that shit to himself, because not only did he get his answer, she’s now taken and quite happily so.
Murkey snoot-booped her way into Leon’s life one day and never quite left. I actually don’t remember if they met for the first time when she did that, or if he met her at a brothel first. They were both open and poly people, and they still are; he was perfectly okay with her disappearing for weeks or months at a time, as long as she sent word she was all right on occasion, and she was always delighted to find that he was still waiting for her whenever she came back. She’s a romantically skittish thing, so he was actually the first one to confess he had deeper feelings quite a ways into their relationship. 
He’d hesitated to do so at all, in part because Safrona had commented that she thought he fell in love too easily and gave it too freely, implying that it wasn’t really that meaningful. Eventually he kicked that feeling in the dick and told her anyway, and though it took a long time, Murkey did eventually tell him she loved him back. She, like him, had realized it far sooner than she’d been willing to admit, for fear of ruining a good thing.
Amber is actually the most recent in the game–I am trying very hard not to call it a harem–and much like Safrona, developed first as a chance meeting that evolved into a business partnership and friendship. She helped design the logos and packaging for the Cookbook, and he sent her plenty of free food and ongoing orders for more boxes. She was a very reserved person, which he thought was kind of refreshing–after a while you sort of want to have some people who are just friends, no matter how fun fuckbuddies are–and she was quite wrapped up with her lover and eventual husband, an elf named Vaerinis.
Amber confessed to him first, and though he wasn’t quite in love with her, he was certainly open to exploring possibilities. These days, he loves her to pieces and though she’s Vae’s first, he is happy to be part of it.
Vaerinis is a happy bonus, too, though he hasn’t had much time to really develop feelings for the man as yet.
Leon doesn’t have a whole lot of male acquaintances in general, actually, and has not yet fallen in love with any or had any fall for him, that he knows about.
my hands hurt, I know I fucked up the timing a few times and I’m tired so I hope i didn’t forget anybody wooph
( @pinpep @shckaewynn @murkeyglglgl @safrona-shadowsun @theengraver @vaerinis )
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Text
A Dragon’s Waltz
I will be posting again on this page of me and my friends DnD adventures, as I am the DM. I hope you guys enjoy this but know that we change most of the outline of our adventure because there is NO way I could keep these guys on track. I will also be continuing the story I have started previously (that is not DND related).
Chapter One
Within the high mountains of Hana, there lay a city named Nova Sanguinem. For its terrain, it is a bustling town that is home to a diverse array of humanoid creatures of all classes. The main source of revenue is its trade and export of iron works and valuable gems mined from the hillsides. Ruled by a viscous queen whom is never seen outside her gem encrusted palace that is carved into the mountainside. It is a city of trade and leisure for both its citizens and travelers who wonder in.
Most travelers find themselves within the city’s brothel, a lavish building that is draped with hues of golden and purple suede curtains. Fairy lights strung throughout the building, provide a dim eerie light, while heavy blankets of incense burned to create a thick fog, forcing your sense of touch and taste to take over. A lone tiefling was found in the brothel, tending to her devilish desires of elven women. EXPLAIN WHAT GRACIE LOOKS LIKE. Across from her a gruff dragonborn male EXPLAIN WHAT CARLOS LOOKS LIKE saunters by making finger guns at all the ladies with long legs. This being a well run establishment all of its employees were able to turned down his offer of payment. Thus forcing him to walk over to a bar until a gnome named Gnomeo sat across from him giving him the Sansa eyes. The tiefling then noticed a gold Dragonborn EXPLAIN WHAT ANGELA LOOKS LIKE laughing at his endeavors. She was surrounded by human males who were enamoured by her massive...biceps. While a BLANK, NATALIE INTRODUCES HERSELF, spots the rejected male at the bar and walks over to console him.
With skin blacker than night, a female elf covered in gold paint laid generously in swirling patterns that accented her curves, saunters away from Father. Her dark violet eyes, in disgust, pierce a half-elf in the midst of being pickpocketed by the five beautiful creatures that surround him, DONOVAN INTRODUCES HIMSELF.
A human then exits one of the private rooms looking quite satisfied with himself. TOM INTRODUCES HIMSELF
IMPROVISE
Ragar is there to take them into the back room where Lysandra is
Makes an offer of the Queen to give them each 1500 GP each and the opportunity to be heroes on her payroll
To collect artifacts of her family that have been stolen by a green-haired human who covets rare items to sell to the highest bidder
Beware of the League of sorcerers whom she trained with as a child
To test their worth they must venture to the Anima Perduta to find and dump a sarcophagus into the Trench of Tanner, retrieve the Periapt of Health, and any other valuable items they come across
It looks like a thick gold chain that has a bone carved in the shape of a fist holding a golden loop that has a ruby in the shape of a heart, then on both sides of the heart is a sad/happy face
IMPROVISE
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dmcracy · 5 years
Text
Group 2. - A proud father
My group entered the Royal district of Erkank. They met with the royal steward and found out there is no king of this country for few hundred of years. Bors asked about the royal crypt and explained about the bones of king Alboin he had in his possession. Steward was pleased with this news and when he wanted to show them to the crypt Bors showed him the crown of Alboin. The steward was speechless for a moment and then with even greater respect for the group recieved this ancient treasure. The bones of King Albion were put into a royal sarcophagus and, in the dim light surrounding Bors, a tiny light shone for a moment. With this Fidel, the royal steward, saw greatness within Bors and told him that he should keep the crown in his possession, because he can clearly see that the spirits of noble ancestors blessed him. 
You see, when we were playing that short adventure where I played a gnome sorcerer we acquired some powerful weapons. Our DM was vague enough with the description - he just said it was made by elves or so and its powerful - so when I returned to the DM’s chair I build up on that. The sword Bors had was a short sword - a weapon of choice for him because he roleplayed some sort of a roman legionary and kept to this one particular type of weapon for most of the game. And dedication like this is always appreciated by me. So I decided that the sword’s hilt was made from Royal mithral and there are 3 gems in it - two rubies and a diamond. Royal mithral has a special property and can enchant item on its own if you do a great deed or slay an epic enemy. So this was a first time when the gems shone and the sword gained some new magical properties that day.
With this business done, they ventured into the city and found lodging in the brothel (owned by the old veteran called Sergeant). And had some leisure time. Llthrae went into a local guild to put some special orders for their craftsmen. It was a set of special lenses required for his project with star sapphire. Then the group went to the local university to find out what it was all about just to find that their archaeologists recovered a still moving mummy and, naturally, my group saved the day. Next they entered a local pub where they drunk some fine drinks and found out that the old chap owning the pub is a marvelous pudding maker. Amused by this, Lthrae volunteered to run the owner’s errands of pudding delivery. And the last thing they did that day was another pudding problem - some alchemyst had a black pudding in a jar and it escaped to the sewers. Orik was not present that day so I tried to play his character correctly (I tried to imitate the style of the player). So they ventured into the sewers and found the magical ooze. The pudding corroded the enchanted axe Orik had but they slew it eventually. And all this fun ended in that same brothel by delivering the pudding to the employees and Llthrae having a wonderful threesome (he was kinda disappointed that there was a female with them). 
Next day, they ventured into Telus Kindiir - an ancient monastery of the Ruby order - where they met with the abbot. His name was Samuel Zorita and he welcomed the group. The monastery was mostly in ruins but close to it stood an ancient tower, elven by the looks of it and it had no signs of degradation. This was the tower that gave the place its name - Telus Kindiir and it was there long before the humans settled there. The tower was surrounded by eight statues which radiated with power. Llhtrae was puzzled by them but he clearly recognized the art style of the Drow.
As they talked, Bors revealed the crown and the events in the tower on the island from a few days ago. The abbot was listening silently as they walked the ancient rows of trees. Bors finished and the abbot asked a simple question:
“What are you going to do now with all that?”
Bors was silent so Samuel gave him a proposal to create a new order of knights from the ashes of the old one. And Bors accepted. So that day a humble adventurer created a new Order of the Crown and became its grandmaster - the first and only knight in that moment. So when they returned back to the brothel Bors started to plan things for the future of the order and Llthrae for the future of his fort (Orik was drinking and whoring).
Everybody was happy, I could say, and I was the happiest of them. This session took like 11.5 hours but it was one of the best I ever played. It felt good, completed and not even Rodolfo hanging in Llthrae’s window could ruin it (Rodolfo came to “talk” with Llthrae about what happened to Isabella).
On the third day, Fidel, the steward of Erkank, called the group to the palace to give them a proposal. He wanted them to find a proper new king for the country. In his own words: “This country was a haven of pirates and good-for-nothings for far too long.” After a short debate they all agreed that Rodolfo should be their new king - he was some sort of dashing heroic figure it the rural parts of the land and if he could bear the crown everything should be fine. So the group again ventured to look for this mysterious swashbuckler only to find him watching the funeral of Isabella from the top of the tower gate. The group paused for the moment and watched too as the funeral pyre burned. After a moment a terrible scream echoed through the air and a twisted shadow flew over the heads of the adventurers and disappeared in the distance (this was also the moment when the legend about the ghost of Bitch Queen Isabella was born). This event peaked their interest and the group decided to search the items Isabella had in her possession. There was nothing much of a value except for the crude old compass with strange markings. Llthrae took it and identified on the spot. And suddenly he was in possession of Greed - the infernal artifact made by lord of Hells to sow greed into the hearts of the foolish (So, naturally, Llthrae used it). 
After the shock from the scream vanished, they proposed to Rodolfo to become the king of Erkank. With a little shyness he agreed and ventured to the capital with the group. They prepared the necessities and the next day the ceremony begun. The whole city gathered to watch the bandit captain get crowned as their king. When Rodolfo climbed slowly to the royal steward not even birds chirped. And even the steward held his breath when he placed the crown on Rodolfo’s head. But when Rodolfo stood up everybody burst into cheerful rejoicing. So the kingdom of Erkank had a new king after few hundreds of years and my group sat silent and done in the Sergeant’s brothel. Everybody was thinking about his own duties to the different parts of the world and, eventually, Orik left first because he felt not needed (I played him like that so it was my fault). He was followed by Llthrae who wanted to return to his fort. Bors stayed with his new duties and Samuel brought a friend to the ceremony - an eight years old half-drow boy called Relenor. Bors accepted Relenor as his squire and they ventured to the Telus Kindiir to work on the order.
It is still one of the greatest sessions in my memories and I feel good when I think about that day everybody parted. We literally finished an adventure which is a rare case with my games and I was really proud of them. And this feeling of completeness was and still is amazing. But in D&D show must go on and new trouble was brewing just behind the corner.
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