wish i knew what to do with this helpless frustration i feel every time i see people vilify the jedi for their way of life when the person doing the vilification doesn't even understand them properly. it's one thing to criticize and dislike them if you have an accurate picture of who they were and what they're trying to do vs. hating them because you straight up don't understand them at all 😭

@lionfire42 said:  I know TBoBF is over, but I still see this take brought up quite a bit, and it's always fascinating to me. I don't think Filoni is ignorant about the Order and it's customs, even if it's not an always perfect portrayal (though, as you noted, given the sheer amount of cultures being brought into the fold, it is a hard thing to claim perfection).

The thing for me is that Grogu is a complex matter. He is a child, yes, but a child that is pretty intelligent and has a fair bit of trauma locked away. Should the adults guide him? Yes. But I think he has a fair bit of autonomy that we often overlook, and a fair bit of agency that he's only just starting to reclaim.

Now when it comes to Ahsoka...on one hand it could have been worded a bit differently. On the other hand, I do think it's a bit harsh to completely argue that she was being cruel and manipulative. Din has been around droids. Especially mech and construction droids. And even if he was uncomfortable I don't think it would have somehow been her intention to make him so. From my understanding, it's both Ahsoka and Luke's prerogative to protect Grogu.

This also means protecting him from someone who misses him, yes, but is also kind of using him as something of an emotional shield. Granted, I don't in anyway think this is intentional. I think Din legitimately loves him. But I also think he does take the words to heart. Had he been dead set on seeing Grogu no matter what, I don't think Ahsoka would have stopped him. Not to say Din didn't try hard enough—rather, Ahsoka rightly asks him, having come to the school emotionally adrift whether or not Din could honestly say he wasn't trying to utilize Grogu as an emotional crutch. That's just a bit of my interpretation, but this is way too long, and I don't want to flood your notes section. I just really enjoy discussing that scene.

-

I mean I’m not gonna deny I wrote that post while really mad.  I’ve loved the Jedi since childhood and I hate Ahsoka and think she’s vastly overrated and overly favored by Filoni, so let’s be clear of my own biases right from the start.

I agree Grogu is really complex and I don’t think there’s a simple answer.  We have seen him evolve and grow more agency as he gets more comfortable.  S1 Ep 1-3 he’s more like a baby or young toddler, Ep 4-8 he’s more like a toddler/two-year-old, and by season 2 he acts more like a preschooler.  In a real child this is pretty accurate; he’s comfortable with a caretaker he trusts and can finally grow and thrive and recover from trauma he’s experienced.  He also has fifty years of life experience, including life as a Jedi already (for up to 30 years - over half his life, if he was brought to the Order in infancy and stayed til Order 66).  He’s complicated to write but I do believe he can make his own choice.  Not only is he a fifty-year-old alien, children having more agency than they do irl is a long-standing Star Wars tradition as part of its all-ages appeal.  11-year-old me was writing fanfiction about An Awesomely Mature and Wise 14-year-old Padawan OC.  32-year-old me knows that’s ridiculous irl, but also that I loved writing it and found it empowering when I was a kid.  Even in canon, no one bats an eye at 14-year-old Padme leading a planet or 9-year-old Anakin having won a starfighter battle.  I see a lot of people bothered by this being inappropriate for children, and it is, but to me it’s an acceptable Suspension of Disbelief thing, and part of making Star Wars appealing for all ages.

Where it falls flat with Grogu imo is he’s barely there.  He’s there what, a few weeks?  Maybe a month?  It’s unclear.  It doesn’t give him time to truly settle in to Jedi life again and make an informed choice about if he wants to stay with Luke’s new Order.  After all he’s just come from life on the run, being captured, possible torture, and separating from a beloved parental figure.  It’s a lot and he needs time to settle.  (I’ve mentioned in other posts that the ideal would be Din helping transition Grogu to life with Luke - which WOULD be good for him as a stable environment is SO important for kids, especially kids with trauma.)

And from a writing perspective... it just makes the season 2 finale feel cheap, if they make this big, mutual decision to separate and then quickly get back together.  Grogu and Din put their feelings of familial love aside so Grogu can go to a safer, more stable environment with a teacher who can nurture his abilities in a way Din can’t.  It’s a hugely emotional and important decision.  And BoBF just says “Never mind!  He’s back with Din now!”

I’ll admit my initial words about Ahsoka were from anger, like I said above.  But my point still stands.  Why is she there?  Why does SHE have this conversation with Din?  Because she’s Filoni’s favorite and he wanted her there.  No other reason.  There’s nothing she says that couldn’t be said by Luke.  There’s nothing enhanced by her being there.  In fact this conversations SHOULD have been between Luke and Din.  Luke is Grogu’s teacher, he’s the one with firsthand experience of his progress.  Ahsoka has met them once; Luke has met Din once but Luke is the one who’s spent quality teaching time with Grogu.  She doesn’t know Grogu’s progress except what Luke may or may not have told her.  It’s like if a parent came in for an impromptu conference and I sent the school secretary to talk to the parent.  She knows the kid and me and may have some idea what’s going on, but I’m the one who truly knows what’s going on in the classroom, and I’m the one with responsibility of that child.  It’s the same in the episode The Jedi, which didn’t need to have a huge whole-ass plot involving Ahsoka searching for Thrawn.  When she appears, Filoni’s writing warps to serve her, not that story.  (Back in the day we’d call her a Mary Sue for it - and while it’s a misogynistic and loaded term and I’m glad it’s fallen out of use, I’ve never found an equivalent for “fan character who makes all the canon characters warp around them and/or make themselves the center of the plot at the expense of canon characters’ characterization.”  For example, Din just standing there??? in the climax of an episode of his own show!!)  I really don’t feel like we get much of Din except “I’m sad and I want to see Grogu but I won’t because Ahsoka said so” rather than any genuine internal reflection.  I would have rather seen Luke discuss Grogu’s emotional state with Din, and explain why he feels its best Grogu not seen Din, and then let Din make the choice himself.  And then not force a choice from Grogu either - explain “This shirt is from your dad, but I’m worried it will make your feelings of missing him worse, and affect your training” no Yodasaber necessarily involved.  I’ve straight up told students before “I’m not sitting you next to your friend because you will talk and not listen to me while I’m teaching.  You can talk later, at playtime.  Right now it’s time to listen to me.”

But it’s not about any sort of teaching.  It’s about forcing a dramatic choice for Grogu when he’s barely had any time to make a real, informed choice about if he wants to stay with Luke’s New Jedi Order.  That’s why Filoni’s writing falls flat for me - he’s obsessed with propping up what HE wants and likes and HIS interpretation of Star Wars.  Which is valid, if he was writing fanfiction and not leading an entire franchise, which needs more viewpoints than just his.  (Kenobi is so refreshing just because it’s a “new” style of storytelling than his, which I’m honestly tired of.)  I also simply expect more competent storytelling from one of the main creative leaders of a multibillion dollar franchise, especially if Disney wants me to pay money for it.

I AM LATE BUT BACK, sorry work ate my life |D but yes! camelot movies are a bit different; mostly in order of events and dialogue and how certain events happen, not the big stuff, but some stuff is shuffled around and altered for time purposes. i'm pretty sure they also added mordred vs sanzang in the second one, that wasn't in the game. but it's still good! it's very very good, it's just a bit edited down etc because they crammed a whole chapter into 2 ovas rather than a whole 24 ep anime.

the extra anime does sound fun! i absolutely fucking adore Robin and Drake, so om nom nom more content for them is always wonderful, and i like nero's route in the game best so i'm glad it's her starring-- i should definitely check it out at some point once i finish apocrypha.

(i...am very early on into apocrypha. i need to finish that. i love everyone in it, they're all delightful. especially astolfo and achilles, though honorary mentions for karna and vlad.)

kojiro BALLS honestly he's really cool and i hope he gets more stuff in future events, we do get a 'gudaguda' historical japan event every year and i think they finally ran out of sengoku shenanigans, so maybe he'll get to star in a future one? here's hoping he deserves it (or maybe he'll be in that new koei tecmo game, since musashi is in it!)

you have excellent taste tbh, everyone on that list is amazing, and i stan shishigou SO HARD you have no idea he's So Cool. waver too, i love him as small and dorky but also older and...still dorky. but hotter. Gil, Cu, Emiya, Robin, Merlin, and Dantes are some of my favs but honestly i can't name a servant i HATE 100% (okay yes i can, but that's just one of them XD)

No worries!! UGH I hate when that happens, I wish work was just. not a thing XD

Oh, yeah, that makes sense, with Babylonia they did a full anime season; I wish they had done the same for this, but I'll take what I can get! I don't really have the time/interest to explore the game chapter for myself, but I wonder if I could maybe find a let's play or something to watch, I'd be interested in seeing the content in full.

Haha, Apocrypha is also very differently structured in terms of Holy Grail War dynamics (14 servants on the field....... it's so many....) but I really, really liked it. Lots of pain, of course, but it's so well written and executed. Enjoy!! Astolfo is a gem <3 (Achilles I'm not a fan of, but I've never liked him in any form/media and idk why; I like to pretend we don't share heritage XD BUT that's just my personal taste and, as a Greek, the Apocrypha team did an absolutely excellent job with his portrayal! I honestly have zero complaints about how they've handled any of my culture's mythological/historical figures, they consistently produce some of the most intuitive and nuanced interpretations I've ever seen).

It's just my curse, always falling for the side characters with the least amount of screen time lmao. I hope so!! Fingers crossed! (though Musashi favoritism kind of abounds in sword/historical circles, so it that might not mean anything -- but I'll be very pleasantly surprised if he does turn out to be in it!!).

Lmao THANK YOU! You have excellent taste too, Gil is one of the best boys and Cu is amazing as well <3 Shishigou is just so badass (and a necromancer, so instant bonus points for me) and his attitude is so relatable, he'd be my number one pick for a Fate mentor figure, you know? YES I love both young Waver and older Waver, and can I say how much I adore that he's so completely and utterly out of shape? Wheezing when he runs? I love that about him XD

I haven't spent too much time with Robin and Dantes so I can't really say anything worthwhile other than they are awesome and I love their designs, but MERLIN is also a top choice, 10/10, he's absolutely irritating but also a delight and his relationship with Fou is one of the best things ever.

Same! There are definitely characters that I don't like, as in, they don't vibe with me, but no one who I dislike as a character in terms of their role/purpose in the story, everyone is extremely well written.

MCU What if Ep 1-2-3: My two cents

So, I’ve been watching the “What if” series. I won’t beat it around the bush, I’m enjoying it but at the same time I get the feeling this series is aimed at younger audience, younger audience which isn’t deeply familiar with the movies and needs to be feed a simpler storyline.

In fact from the way they present it in each episode 1 single change should be the one which gives life to a parallel universe in a sort of domino effect… only, from what I could see in those 3 episodes, there are actually multiple unconnected changes, 1 presented more markedly as if it were the one starting everything and the others… just there for unknown reasons but they aren’t remarked and might easily be missed by who doesn’t remember well the movies.

Characterizations are also simplified, with heroes more black and white than grey, and a general toning down of the drama. This isn’t necessarily tied to the short time, 30 minutes in the hand of a good storyteller are plenty of time to construct a complicate, adult, emotionally engaging story… but a complicate story requires an audience willing to put its mind to understand it, or capable to handle a more morally nuanced plot or that wouldn’t be too distressed by a more emotionally engaging one.

This kind of audience is clearly not what those stories are aiming at.

This isn’t meant to say they’re bad, they’re perfect for young audience, passing on a good message, being overall funny and giving them the chance to enjoy the heroes they love in a different setting.

Dialogues are nice, their voice actors so far delivered good performance, the art isn’t bad and the stories can feel still intriguing enough.

However, if you think too hard at them, especially in comparison to the original movie, the story tends to crumble or feel morally poor or mess up the characterization or some other thing.

Overall I think the “What if” so far are more enjoyable if you don’t really remember well the movies and, anyway, judge them as stand-alone more than “What if” based on how a single divergence from the plot could create a new timeline.

Some examples?

Pick “What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?”

The divergence supposedly happens when Peggy decides to stay in the room.

Erskine: Agent Carter, wouldn't you be more comfortable in the booth? Peggy: No, I'd prefer to stay. Watcher: There. That's the moment that created a new universe. When asked to leave the room, Margaret "Peggy" Carter chose to stay. But soon it would be her venturing into the unknown and creating a new world.

Only, in truth, it’s not just Peggy who was meant to go to the booth and didn’t.

EVERYONE was meant to go to the booth… only they all stay and Kruger, the spy from Hydra, who was seated in the booth BEHIND Peggy in “Captain America”, in the “What if” episode attacks the lab during Erskine’s explanation and not, as he did in “Captain America”, after the experiment took place, using as a distraction a bomb he left in the booth, and not on the floor of near to where the experiment was taking place so that it can kill Erskine.

And, to be really accurate, Erskine, in “Captain America”, asked Peggy to move to the booth when Steve was already lying down for the experiment, while here we see him asking her so while the two are standing next to each other and he hadn’t started undressing yet.

And there’s a reason why in the movie things were done like that.

Of course in the movie everyone was in the booth, it was safer should something go wrong with the experiment.

Of course Kruger waited for the experiment to be carried on, if it didn’t work there was no point in stealing a vial of a serum that didn’t work.

Of course Kruger left the bomb in the booth and made it explode when he was outside of it, so that he was sure it would create distraction but not harm him.

Overall, it’s not just Peggy that acts differently, it’s Erskine, who asked her to move in advance, it’s all the people there, who didn’t move to the booth, it’s ESPECIALLY, Kruger, who originally aimed to see if the serum worked and, in this case, steal it and kill Erskine so he couldn’t produce more and instead he now doesn’t check if the serum works and kills, for unknown reasons Chester Phillips, who didn’t even have a weapon in his hand and so didn’t pose a threat.

Even the placing of the bomb is poor because, since there was plenty of mechanisms in the lab, it could have triggered a series of explosions that were to destroy the whole place, himself and all the serum included.

But how many young viewers noticed all this or worry for the risk of everything exploding or realize that causing an explosion outside of the room in which the serum was worked as a diversion so as to take people away from that place, while if the bomb were to explode there, everyone would converge in that place, with hydrants possibly as no one worries about fire spreading but they should… even if there’s magically not as much as there should be.

And tragic scenes get tamed down, we don’t see Erskine die, we might not even realize he died in the explosion, young viewers might not remember or not like Chester Phillips so when he’s shoot he doesn’t leave an impression and Kruger’s shape gets shoot down by Peggy so we don’t have him committing suicide.

It’s not a complain, it’s a logic choice to make the series more palatable to a younger target by toning down the violence and the drama in it.

And so we reach the big event of the episode.

John Flynn would want Stark to get the serum injected in himself (forgetting there were men of the MP around him who shouldn’t be all dead) but starts to complain when Peggy volunteers to take the serum herself. Peggy does anyway and again things are tamed down, as Steve ended up screaming so loud in “Captain America” Peggy feared they were killing him and they considered stopping the experiment but Peggy doesn’t scream at all.

Sure, in had been scientifically proved women are built to handle pain better, but very likely Peggy’s lack of scream isn’t because she’s tougher, it’s again to not upset young audience.

So, while Steve lies on the ground and no one comes to help him, Peggy comes out of the experiment enhanced. But here we’ve the real core of the episode, John Flynn decides the experiment is an absolute failure. Why?

Flynn: Sixty million dollars and all the hope in the world down the drain. I was promised an army. I was promised peace and salvation. Instead, I get a girl.

Basically the real core of the episode, the real theme is that Captain Carter will have to fight discrimination based on sexism.

Peggy: You have a Super Soldier. Flynn: Women aren't soldiers, and they sure as hell don't fight on the front lines. They might break a nail.

Undoubtedly this is an important matter, it’s a good topic to make an episode about, to give young girls an heroine, to show to them and to the boys what an absolute moron Flynn was in discriminating Peggy, also presenting boys being supportive of Peggy and trusting her. Howard Stark, Steve Rogers, and then Bucky and everyone else, all the men who see Peggy fighting are ultimately supportive and admiring of her. This is important. But Flynn’s sexism is better remarked if we don’t remember what happened in “Captain America”.

Steve Rogers: Sir, if you’re going after Schmidt, I want in. Col. Chester Phillips: You’re an experiment. You’re going to Alamogordo. Steve Rogers: The serum worked. Col. Chester Phillips: I asked for an army and all I got was you. You are not enough. Senator Brandt: [to Steve] With all due respect to the Colonel, I think we may be missing the point. I’ve seen you in action, Steve. More importantly, the country’s seen it. [to his aide] Paper.[the aide shows them the news paper (‘The New York Examiner’ Vol. XCVII No. 33.634, Wednesday, June 23, 1943), headlines: "Nazis in New York - mystery man saves child"] The enlistment lines have been around the block since your picture hit the newsstands. You don’t take a soldier, a symbol like that, and hide him in a lab. Son, do you want to serve your country on the most important battlefield of the war? Steve Rogers: Sir, that’s all I want. Senator Brandt: Then, congratulations. You just got promoted.

I mean, Rogers was a male and he too was judged ‘not enough’. Brandt has him tour the nation in a colorful costume as “Captain America” to promote war bonds, while scientists study him and attempt to reverse-engineer the formula.

Chester Phillips was likely killed because otherwise they would have no reason to deal with Peggy the same way he dealt with Steve ‘one is not enough’, only it wouldn’t have been a sexist problem, just math (though it could be argued Phillips never trusted Steve to begin with). This causes the message ‘sexism is dumb’ ends up feeling forced because it’s basically pasted over a previous narrative of ‘not being enough’. If you want, you can read it as always discrimination and discrimination it’s always bad, but it still cheapens the message.

All this not to say that the episode isn’t awesome if seen as a stand-alone… it’s just that when you compare it with “Captain America” it feels weaker.

And then there are the other discrepancies, like the Hydra bringing the Tesseract to Berlin and not to Azzano (a sign somehow Schmidt and Hitler didn’t have a fall out) with Stark using it to power up an “Hydra Stomper” suit that proves if he had had the right power sources and technologies he could have built “Iron Man” too.

They’re not bad points (actually I loved the “Hydra Stomper” suit and how Peggy rode it the way Tekkaman from “Uchu no Kishi Tekkaman” used to ride Pegas in my childhood memories) but again they’re divergences without a clear reason. Schmidt and Hitler shouldn’t get along better solely because Peggy got the serum.

And that’s the first episode.

“What If... T'Challa Became a Star-Lord?” is also clearly aimed to a younger audience but with a goal different from “What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?”

Watcher: What you call destiny is just an equation, a product of variables. Right place, right time, or in some instances, the wrong place at the wrong time. As fate would have it, at that very moment, a Ravager spacecraft was arriving on Earth to abduct the spawn of the Celestial, Ego. But in this universe, Yondu outsourced the assignment to his subordinates. Yondu: You morons grabbed the wrong kid!

For start this episode doesn’t try to rewrite a single movie, but by taking pieces of assorted movies “Thor: The Dark World” (for Tivan) “Guardians of the Galaxy” (for the idea of the setting), “Black Panther” (for T’Challa), “Avengers: Infinity War” (for the Black Order), “Captain America” (Tivan has his shielf), “Thor: Ragnarok” (TIvan has and uses Hela’s headpiece, talking of her as if he knew her and we can see he also has Thor’s hammer), “Thor: The Dark World” (Tivan has Malekith’s dagger) creates a completely different timeline by changing something that happened in 1988 and then jumping straight in… 2014, I presume, where a lot is different but we aren’t meant to see the process due to which things were changed, just to accept how T’Challa, kidnapped as a kid by the Ravagers, managed to make the difference.

In fact the whole theme of this episode is that T’Challa is a hero and a role model that gets success and admiration by TALKING TO PEOPLE AND PERSUADING THEM TO DO THE RIGHT THING. He’s meant not to have a character arc but to create a world that’s the best possible for people.

In fact we’re told just by talking with Thanos he persuaded him to stop his whole plan without using violence.

Korath: How exactly did you stop Thanos, the Mad Titan, from decimating half of the universe? Oh, no. Thanos: I'm a big enough man to admit when I'm wrong. T'Challa here showed me there was more than one way to reallocate the universe's resources. T’Challa: Sometimes the best weapon in your arsenal is just a good argument.

I mean, he doesn’t just turn the Ravagers into Robin Hood’s “merry men”, he talks with Thanos and Thanos decides to change his ways.

This is great, a wonderful message, a message against violence, a message about the power of the words and it makes T’Challa a real hero who, just by talking, saves the universe from Thanos but… but T’Challa from the movies was maybe not so good at persuading people from not doing wrong but he still had something amazing that made him very human and, at the same time a role model.

T’Challa wasn’t perfect, he made mistakes… but then he would admit them and correct them.

In “Captain America: Civil War” he wants to kill Bucky in retaliation for what happened to his father…

Natasha Romanoff: T'Challa. Task force will decide who brings in Barnes. T'Challa: [He clenches his fist.] Don't bother, Miss Romanoff. I'll kill him myself.

…but then he understands killing his father’s murder would be wrong and even stops Zemo from committing suicide.

T'Challa: Vengeance has consumed you. It's consuming them. [He blinks ruefully and retracts the claws in his gloves.] I am done letting it consume me. Justice will come soon enough. Helmut Zemo: [Holding a gun Zemo smiles thinly.] Tell that to the dead. [He tries to shoot himself but T'Challa grabs him just as he fires.] T'Challa: The living are not done with you yet.

And the same goes in “Black Panther”. At first he doesn’t want to ask Killmonger his name because he knows he is his uncle’s son and this would give him the right to compete for the throne as well as expose what his father did…

Killmonger: Oh, I ain't requesting nothing! Ask who I am? Shuri: You are Eric Steves. An American black operative. A mercenary nicknamed Killmonger. That's who you are. Killmonger: (LAUGHING) That's not my name, Princess. Ask me, King? T'Challa: No. Killmonger: Ask me. T'Challa: Take him away.

…but then he’ll acknowledges they had wronged him, will show him Wakanda’s beauty and will change things in Wakanda. T’Challa in the movies isn’t as perfect as T’Challa in the “What if” episode. He can’t solve everything and make the world perfect. He isn’t always right. He gets angry, vengeful, afraid of the truth. But then he rises above this and does the right thing.

“What if” T’Challa is a model of perfection that’s admirable… but that sits simply too high above the original T’Challa who also had to deal with Thanos but didn’t even think he could change his mind just by giving him a talk… and with good reason.

Younger kids might not realize because they might have not fully grasped how Thanos was a genocidal maniac, who massacred millions even prior to the snap, tortured his daughters and even removed body parts from Nebula. They might swallow it was just that easy to talk him into not doing the snap, and Thanos only needed someone to tell him it was wrong… and that in truth he loved Nebula… but for older viewers while beautiful, this is simply unbelievable.

And what about Yondu and the Ravagers? Just because they had T’Challa they became good and righteous. This is how Peter Quill described Yondu in “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” which still gives a sympathetic portrayal of Yondu:

Quill: He wasn't my father. Yondu was the guy who abducted me. He'd beat the crap out of me so I'd learn how to fight and he kept me in terror threatening to eat me.

But T’Challa doesn’t seem to have such complains against Yondu.

Now… In Quill’s case Yondu kept Quill so as to protect him from Ego…

Yondu: Once I figured out what happened to the other kids, I wasn't gonna just hand you over.

…yet he kidnap him and tells him his home was destroyed so as to manipulate him into staying… but this is so easily forgotten by T’Challa to the point children might not even realize it was there. Yondu was a good dad for him, he kidnapped him because T’Challa was basically wasted at home.

Yondu: Sometimes you need to hear a lie to see the truth. You're just like me, T'Challa. T’Challa: I am nothing like you. Yondu: You're an explorer, Star-Lord. And for people like you, like us, the past ain't nothing but a prison. You don't belong down there with them. You belong up here with us, with your family.

Although T’Challa doesn’t seem to agree at first… in the end all is forgotten.

Yondu: Look, T'Challa, I just wanted to say... T’Challa: There's no need. I was the one who told you I wanted to see the world. All you did was show me the universe.

and

T’Chaka: (Voice shaking) My son, my son. I knew you would find your way home to us. T’Challa: I'm sorry it took me so long. Let me introduce you to the family I made along the way.

All this is to basically excuse the premise, something horrible like kidnapping a child is passed as not really something terrible so that kids wouldn’t deal with its emotional implications and can even think that it was a pity that, in the normal universe, it was Peter Quill that was kidnapped… without realizing that kidnapping is bad and that in T’Challa’s case Yondu wasn’t even doing it because he wanted to protect him. Actually it’s unexplained why, all of sudden, Yondu felt the need to keep T’Challa and completely forgot about Quill, didn’t even care about making sure Ego wouldn’t find Quill despite, thanks to T’Challa, becoming a better person. It’s another change, one that people knowing the movies is bound to notice but not kids.

So again, for who knows the movie well, the story ends up being weak and this is also because, while T’Challa could persuade Thanos off screen not to commit genocide… all of sudden his persuasive power isn’t even really tested out with Tivan. Tivan is the big evil… yet he’s somehow less fearsome than Thanos because we clearly don’t want to scare the kids.

So again, wonderful for young audience who doesn’t remember well the movies… not so solid for who’s older.

And so we move to “What If... the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?” which is absolutely my favourite so far. This one at a first glance seems to be a “What if” of a comic named “The Avengers Prelude: Fury's Big Week”.

The awesome thing of this story is we don’t know what changed the universe, we only discover that someone is killing off the Avengers before they could become the Avengers, starting with Tony Stark.

The mystery is, at a first glance, cool, the idea original, Natasha gets a big role as she investigates and even fights things along with Fury and, again, children will likely not really realize how the “What if” is actually changing the settings even when they’re supposedly not related to the change that caused this parallel reality, the death of Hope van Dyne. I mean, we can start our list of changes with the random funny things that has no reason to happen because Hope’s death shouldn’t have made Coulson and Barton to be so appreciative of Thor’s hair, something they never bring up in the movie…

Coulson: Whoa. I got visual on the intruder. He's a Caucasian male, mid-twenties with... really great hair. Fury: Excuse me? Coulson: It's an accurate description. Sir, he's gorgeous. Fury: I need eyes in the sky. Barton. Barton: Already on it. He's making a move on the hammer. One shot, one kill, sir. Just say the word. Fury: Hold your fire. I wanna see this. Barton: Whoa. Coulson wasn't lying about the hair. That's nice.

…to continue with more plot related matters like how Betty should have known Banner had intruded in her lab dressed up as a delivery boy and was now hiding in a wardrobe… but if we want we can forgive them. Maybe Hope’s death really changed some things in weird ways we couldn’t predict… but the place with the biggest revolution seems to be Asgard… which actually shouldn’t have been affected by by Hope’s death AT ALL and instead the situation is completely different from how it were in “Thor” to the point I could write a 20 pages meta on the changes. But, if we assume this episode is aimed at children, it works because the “Thor” situation was complicate and here instead they show solely some random and confuse elements that children might have picked up from talks about the movies… but that weren’t like that in “Thor”.

And again we have messages that can be good for children, how a father will love his little girl, how Nick Fury will save the day even without the Avengers, how:

Fury: S.H.I.E.L.D. is people, people willing to give their lives for something greater than themselves to save the world from men like you.

…and how in the darkest time new heroes will always come to save Earth as when Loki take over because it seems there are no more Avengers, Fury can still count on Carol Danvers and Steve Rogers.

Coulson: The Avengers fell before they had a chance to rise. May they rest in peace. Fury: They can, but we won't. The Avengers were always meant to be more than a team. They were an idea, the affirmation of humanity's need to believe that in our darkest hour, we will find our heroes. Watcher: I believe that in this universe, as in every other, hope never dies. As long as someone keeps their good eye on the bigger picture.

It’s a good message about hope… but again, it’s something for children. We’re meant to believe Earth could be conquered in one day time without struggle whatsoever… and that only the heroes could save it. Children might not remember it but in “The Avengers” humans tried to nuke New York to stop Loki… the idea they would just sit and say ‘whatever’ to Loki’s domination makes it look as if they actually agree with him to an adult… but, of course, the battle of New York is something we might not want to show to a little child.

And now… something else that’s relevant.

I said the “What ifs” are good stories for children… but we’re talking of young children here because if the child is a little older they can end up passing a completely wrong message.

Remember "What If... Captain Carter Were the First Avenger?" and how it tackled sexism as an absurd behavior to keep? How Captain Carter overcomes it? By using her supersoldier powers to beat the Nazi. She shows as a supersoldier she works.

Does she turns over the concept that ‘Women aren't soldiers, and they sure as hell don't fight on the front lines. They might break a nail’?

At most she proves she can be a soldier. She doesn’t fight using the fact she’s a woman as her strongest point, she fights using her super strength as her strongest point… where Steve Roger’s strongest point wasn’t his enhanced strength but his moral values. Peggy proves as a super soldier she’s equal to Steve… but Steve as a super soldier proved he was better than Red Skull. Peggy’s actions in the story doesn’t cause people to revalue women in general, just her. People either aren’t sexist and accept her regardless of her genre (Howard, Steve) or they’re sexist but accept her because she is strong.

It’s meaningful that when she thinks Steve is dead Flynn goes back to his old mindset…

Flynn: She should never have been in the field in the first place.

… because the truth is he never changed it. Peggy had only yelled at them to stop calling Steve “Hydra Stomper” as his name was “Steve Roger” and Flynn decides she, not Steve who actually died, should have never been in the field.

They don’t show how Peggy got information from Zola, which seems to imply all she did to get them was to beat him up. Chester Phillips in “Captain America” manipulated him into talking with his intelligence only.

Do you know which were Peggy’s abilities in the universe in which she isn’t a super soldier? She’s a Master Martial Artist, an Expert Marksman, a Master Spy, an Expert Tactician, a Thief and can speak and read English, Russian and German fluently as well as use a convincing American accent.

This is hardly noticeable though in her own story.

Howard: Should we not have a plan? Peggy: Who needs a plan? I have a shield. Howard: A shield is not a plan. Oh, Carter...

She was a tactician!

Now… she has a shield. But whatever girl wants to be like her won’t have a shield, nor a super serum. To be a real role model for girls who aren’t anymore children Peggy needed to have qualities they too could have that would empower her. The only good moment is when she understands what Howard plans to do:

Howard: If I can get to the controls, I can transpose the ingress and do science stuff. Peggy: You mean transpose the polarity and reverse the suction? Howard: Being the genius is my thing.

But again, the irony here is that this is no genius plan, middle school students had probably seen him being done in movies and cartoons already. It might seem genius idea to kids, but when you’re older it hardly sounds like one… and when Howard complains all in the machine is written in German they don’t have Peggy show her knowledge of it, and translate the words as she fight, she just fight and he’s supposed to figure things out.

“Captain America” is a role model for what he has inside. I’m sure Peggy Carter has plenty of things inside her as well… but “What if” makes it more about the super strength she has gained.

Where Steve gains Phillips’ respect, Flynn’s respect is more a façade due to her successes thanks to her super strength, and that respect gets pulled back as soon as she gets upset by his behavior. Sure, Flynn is a worse person than Phillips in this black and white world but this too is part of the narrative. If Peggy can’t permanently win over sexism in one person, it’s not real victory at all. If what’s remarkable about her is how she fights (due to the serum) then who didn’t have it, will never have a hope. Peggy Carter was more of a female model when she wasn’t supersoldier, she felt more of a role model in “Captain America”, when she got to do this with her own strength:

Peggy Carter: Put your right foot forward. Gilmore Hodge: Mmm… We gonna wrassle? Cause I got a few moves I know you’ll like. [suddenly Peggy punches him hard in the face. Col.Phillips drives up] Col. Chester Phillips: Agent Carter. Peggy Carter: Colonel Phillips. Col. Chester Phillips: I see you’re breaking in the candidates. That’s good!

…than when she punched Nazis thanks to being a super soldier. Peggy has never been a fragile Fräulein, but this episode seems to remark she’s not one merely because she has taken the serum.

As a result… she sets an impossible role model for girls. If the key to be (partially) respected and accepted by males is to get the super soldier serum and/or the shiled… well, that serum doesn’t exist, not does the shield.

And a similar problem exists in “What If... T'Challa Became a Star-Lord?”

Teaching a small child he can solve problems by talking and not by hitting is important… but passing the message that you can stop bullies or worse just by talking to them is again setting an impossible role model. People like Thanos can’t be stopped with just words. People like Yondu and the Ravagers wouldn’t become Robin Hood and his merry men merely because they have with themselves a young boy who tells them the right things… and what Yondu does to T’Challa is worse than what he did to Quill and having been kidnapped as a child shouldn’t be waved off so easily. We’re not talking of Yondu finding an orphaned T’Challa and raising him, if he had picked up N’Jadaka after he lost his father it would have been different, but here, he just ripped a child from a loving family, a family he loved back. And it’s almost presented as a good thing because this causes the universe to be saved by Thanos, Yondu’s lie giving T’Challa the motivation to try to to make the universe a better place.

Nebula: You lost your home, and now you save everyone else's.

And problems continue with “What If... the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?” because there, the solution, the hope, is presented solely by the superheroes. No one opposes to Loki, the whole Earth is expected to be saved by Captain America and Carol Danvers. The one who refuses to kneel to Loki is Fury, who’s considered special. We don’t have in this story a lone old man who’s standing stubbornly despite the threat.

LOKI: Kneel before me. [The crowd ignores him. Three more Loki's appear, surrounding and blocking the crowd from escaping.] I said KNEEL! [While the crowd quietly kneels, Loki embraces out his arms with a wide smile] Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It's the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel. ELDER GERMAN MAN: [As the words resonate to the kneeling crowd, an elder German man refuses to kneel and stands, heroic.] Not to men like you. LOKI: There are no men like me. ELDER GERMAN MAN: There are always men like you. LOKI: Look to your elder, people. Let him be an example. [As Loki is about to execute the man with his scepter as the light glows blue. Right as the energy beam shoots out, Captain America arrives, diving in just in time to block the blast with his shield, and knocking down Loki]

So basically in this series heroes set impossible standards… and are the only ones who can save the day. It can be fun for an adult, as he doesn’t need role models… but for a boy who’s no more a small child but not yet old enough to do without viewing heroes are role models, the heroes presents a standard that is something unattainable. And this is bad because he too might enjoy watching the show, but the show gives him no hope… where ironically, Marvel movies were about giving positive role models in which you could identify.

Overall I stay my case, the “What if” series is definitely enjoyable… but the bar for the target audience is set to a very young age, they don’t really follow the idea that one small change can realistically change everything because they actually intrude plenty of small changes for their setting to work, and might end up not giving the right message if you’re in between a age between a small child and an adult. Of course future “What if” episodes might change, and I will probably still love them because I adore what if… but I would love them even more if they had aimed to a target audience a little older… making their heroes, more realistic role models which can be emulated and if they had respected their own premise, that ONE SINGLE CHANGE can create a completely different new reality.

What changed in the Peggy episode wasn’t just Peggy not sitting on the booth. What changed in the T’Challa episode wasn’t just Yondu sending his subordinates to pick up a kid. What changed in the mightiest heroes episode wasn’t just Hope dying.

The fact you need more changes in order to make the difference makes the initial point that one change can make the difference void. You destroy your own premise… and this is not really a great idea.

But whatever, I guess if the idea is that the audience is really young, they didn’t expect the audience to pick this up but just to swallow their idea that ‘a moment created a new universe’.

MEDIA MENTIONED:

Movies: “Iron Man 2” (2010), “The Incredible Hulk" (2008), “Thor” (2011), “Captain America: The First Avenger” (2011), “The Avengers” (2012), “Thor: The Dark World” (2013), “Captain America: The Civil War” (2016), “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” (2017), “Thor – Ragnark” (2017), “Black Panther” (2018), "Avengers: Infinity War” (2018), “Captain Marvel” (2019)

Comics: “The Avengers Prelude Fury's Big Week” (2012)

An interview with music journalist Paul Zollo. I believe this is from 2000. I’m a sucker for Billie Joe talking about his songwriting process.

By PAUL ZOLLO

SEVEN STORIES ABOVE THE SUNSET STRIP in Hollywood is the Chateau Marmont, an old hotel rife with the ghosts and scandals of Hollywood’s recent and not-so-recent past. Famous for the elegant, old-world discretion it affords all its guests, for decades it’s been a safe harbor for stars seeking to circumvent the squall of media surveillance. It’s where John Belushi died, sadly, back in bungalow three, and where Jim Morrison wrecked his back by swinging Tarzan-like from the roof, using a drain pipe as a vine. Every star, it seems, from Chaplin and Bogart to Dylan and Lennon have hidden out here while in Hollywood. “If you must get in trouble, do it at the Chateau Marmont,” Harry Cohn, the first boss of Columbia Studios, once told William Holden.

So it’s an appropriate setting for Billie Joe Armstrong, the lead singer, songwriter and guitarist of Green Day, to be holding court. Armstrong and the band are no strangers to scandal – they’re the ones who started a mudfight that bordered on insurrection at Woodstock II; they’ve been outspoken about their fondness for drugs and alcohol; they’ve been especially harsh in their expressions of scorn for many other bands; and they’ve frequently “redecorated” hotel suites, bars and Tower Records stores alike with a flair for creative demolition that brings to mind the heady decadence of the Doors and others.

           In fact, parallels between Armstrong and Jim Morrison abound. Like the leader of the Doors, Billie Joe is the creative catalyst of his group, but only writes within the fold of his fellow musicians. Like Morrison, Armstrong has been known to walk on the razor’s edge of life, bringing an authentic, expansive passion to every song he sings. He’s also been known to match his inclination to strip his soul bare in song by taking off his clothes in concert. The difference is that when Jim Morrison did it, all hell broke loose, the country was shocked and the singer was arrested. But when Billie Joe does it, he gets acknowledged on the MTV news, Kurt Loder smirks, and that’s about that. Being shocking these days is just not like it used to be.

‘It’s something unpredictable,

But in the end is right

I hope you had the time of your life.”

From “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)”

By GREEN DAY

           Few things seemed more unpredictable than the thought that Green Day would have a Number One hit with a pretty ballad of all things. Even more unlikely would be that the song, officially entitled “Good Riddance” but better known as “Time Of Your Life,” would become as ubiquitous in the American consciousness as the Star Wars theme. Used on “Seinfeld,” two episodes of “E.R.,” and extraneous sporting events (as when Mark MacGuire became the king of baseball’s home-run derby), Green Day’s ballad quickly became more famous than Green Day itself.

           “Good Riddance” now stands alongside Springsteen’s “Born In The USA”, Randy Newman’s “I Love L.A.” and Sting’s “Every Breath You Take,” as one of the nation’s most misappropriated hit singles. Like all of those songs, which are much darker if you examine their core than the mainstream ever seemed to recognize, “Good Riddance” actually comes closer to condemnation than the kind of nostalgic celebration for which it’s been used:

“Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial

For what it’s worth, it was worth all the while

I hope you had the time of your life. “

From “Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)”

By GREEN DAY

Though Green Day’s presence on the world stage shifted from popular to astronomical because of this song, many of their old fans felt alienated by their secret heroes’ injection into the mainstream. “[`Time of Your Life’] was a drastic change for us to record,” Billie Joe said. “We knew that there were going to be some people that weren’t going to like it because it’s not a 1-2-3-4-Let’s-go-punk-rock tune. Mike [Dirnt] said, `This is a real beautiful song, who cares what people think?’ So we just went for it. Long term thinking, you know. Punk is not just the sound, the music. Punk is a life-style. We’re just as much punk as we used to be.”

           Of course, definitions flow fast and fluid, as purveyors of punk, such as Armstrong, play along the borders of pop. “A lot of punk rock bands are always trying to be so hard all of the time,” he said. “Macho brutality doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a good songwriter. I think that some of the Beatles’ songs are way more punk rock than most punk songs written today. Like the song `Yesterday.’ It’s such a bittersweet song. “

           Billie Joe was born in 1972 and grew up in Rodeo, a little Californian town just outside of Berkeley. His father and uncle were both jazz drummers. “I was a guitarist in a house of drummers,” he said. His father died when he was ten, the same year he met a neighbor named Mike Pritchard who shared his passion for making music. Together they decided to drop out of high school to start a band, which they called Sweet Children. It was a decision Billie’s mother encouraged. “My mom sort of let me do whatever I wanted,” he said. “When I quit school, she thought that was a good idea because I was really ambitious to play. So I started touring when I was seventeen.”

Pritchard changed his name to Mike Dirnt, Tre Cool replaced Al Sobrante as official drummer, and they called themselves Green Day, a Bay-area euphemism for a day spent smoking pot. Their first release was an indie EP called 1000 Hours, after which they signed with Lookout Records to make 39/Smooth and Kerplunk. In 1994 they ascended to the major leagues, signing with Reprise, and released Dookie. They soon  became an MTV mainstay, and their mudstorm performance that year at Woodstock cemented their reputation as a band on the edge. Three more singles followed, as did sales of more than eight million albums worldwide, and a Grammy Award for Best Alternative Music Performance.

           Insomniac was released in the fall of ’95, but instead of going on a European tour as planned to launch it, they elected instead to stay home and write and record more songs. The result was the most popular, and most critically acclaimed album of their career, Nimrod, which included “Time Of Your Life.”

Warning was the new album at the time of this interview, and the impetus for Billie to talk. Inspired by the rich lyricism of Springsteen’s The River and Dylan’s Bringing It All Back Home, Green Day went away for a while to write and play the songs before recording them. It’s their first self-produced and most sonically adventurous album to date, blending layers of acoustic guitars in with the electrics, and with some unexpected detours, such as the German beer-hall stomp of “Misery,” and the Clash-meets-Kinks pop-punk of the title song.

“Caution police sign you’d better not cross

Is the cop or am I the one that’s really dangerous?

Sanitation expiration date question everything

Or shut up and be a victim of authority

Warning, live without warning…”

From “Warning”

By GREEN DAY

Today Billie Joe is ensconced within an overstuffed burgundy couch in his hotel suite. Although he’s drinking coffee from china cups, and eating fresh fruit and croissants from a silver tray, he’s remained loyal to the punk lifestyle, and is wearing a black t-shirt and baggy jeans. Prior to our talk, rather than linger in the luxury of his suite, he ducked down into the hotel’s bleak back stairway for a cigarette. Though he’s undeniably a star of the first degree, he’s uncomfortable with such designations, and shuns all the trappings of stardom. As opposed to the Ferraris and Lamborghinis driven by his peers, an old Ford Fairlane remains his vehicle of choice. He did admit to one extravagance, however, which he revealed somewhat sheepishly. “As soon as I could afford it,” he confessed, “I went out and had it primered.”

BLUERAILROAD: You write all the songs together in the band. Do you start songs on your own and bring them in?

BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG: Yeah, sometimes. I’ll come up with the song with the chord changes and the lyrics, and then I bring them into practice, and then we sort of restructure them together. I like to come in with a tune. I’ll just play guitar and sing it for them, and then we start to learn it. And as soon as we start to learn it, we can make changes and come up with a different structure. Move the chorus around, make the verse a little longer. That kind of thing. I definitely like to think of it as a collaboration between the three of us.

           Do you always change the songs?

Well, we have a lot of songs. There have been some that I have brought in and nothing really needs to be done. Sometimes I’ll suggest a part that needs to be worked with, and we’ll try some different things. And then they’ll write their bass-lines and drum parts around it.

           Do you ever have a problem sharing credit on songs you wrote alone?

Well, we’re a band. We’ve been able to stick through a lot of years because the three of us support each other. The songs come from Green Day, and I like to stick by that. We like to just keep things equal in the band, and I think it’s what has made our band healthy over the years. We give each other respect. There is no one who stands out more than the other one in this group. Especially since we’ve known each other for so long.

           These days do you write on electric guitar?

No, on acoustic. I have a Silverine Harmony. But it sounds good. I just have it around the house, so I’ve written most of the songs on it.

           Do those songs then shift a lot when you bring them to the band, and play them on electric?

No, because I always have it in the back of my head about the dynamics of electric guitar and drums and bass. Between me and Mike and Tre, I always have that dynamic in my head – what am I going to bring to the table that they’re going to be able to play, and which will have our certain energy. I always keep our energy and our music in mind, sort of subconsciously. But I think that’s the beauty of this. That not only can I play these songs with a band at full volume, but also that I can play them on a cheap, acoustic guitar. And it can have the same kind of impact.

           “Warning” would work that way.

Yeah, it does. That kind of came all together at the same time. I think lyrics on this record were really important to me, and to have a well-rounded record as far as what kind of topics I wanted to write about, and sing about. That was one of those songs that seemed to just write itself. It just came really naturally.

           Is that unusual for you, the feeling that a song writes itself?

Well, I try to go for inspired moments. But if I want to write a song that sounds like it has a pop kind of edge to it, I really want to be able to say something. I have to say something – it’s vital for me. I can’t just write something that would be sugar-coated, and have a pop song with nice lyrics that go along with what everyone is doing on the radio these days. It’s very important for me to have a message that goes along with the writing. So, you know, what comes to mind for me is a song like “The Ballad of John & Yoko,” where [Lennon] had this really nice sounding song. But the lyrics penetrate like a knife. “They’re gonna crucify me…” That’s kind of nice way — nice, I mean, in an oxymoronic sense – to put forward something you want to attack.

           You’ve done that in many songs.

Yeah, I think it adds a sort of demented side a little bit, sort of like a clown in a circus. But it also makes the lyrics a lot stronger. If you take a band like Rage Against The Machine, the music is aggressive, and the lyrics are aggressive at the same time. And I love Rage Against The Machine, but sometimes it feels like you getting bombarded by someone’s else’s point of view. The person is not telling you to think, but what to think. And that’s one thing that I really wanted to come across in the music and the lyrics. To think about the world around you, and not what to think, so to speak. And at the same time, to have my opinions coming through at the same time.

           Are you always clear about the meaning of a song while writing?

No. That’s hard. I mean, sometimes I’ll have things in the back of my head that I want to write about. But I never want to come across as pretentious or preachy. So I just wait for my thoughts to settle. To a certain extent, you have to be a little self-righteous and I think it’s healthy. Especially when, nowadays, there’s so much stuff that is about decadence. And when it comes to rebellion, a guy who has a Rolex watch and is driving around in a Porsche, talking about that he really wants something to break, I don’t really think of that as rebellion, I think of that just as a decadent rock star.

           Do you have any kind of routine for songwriting?

Last record I was just sort of pounding songs. Anytime I had any inkling of an idea of anything at all, I would just grab my guitar and play it and work on it no matter what the song was like. Whether it was inspired or I just got drunk and started playing. But this time I waited for inspired moments. And I think it took me a long time just because of that. I wanted everything to sound refreshing, and something that would make you want to turn it up a little more.

           Did you have times when you tried to work and nothing would come?

Oh yeah. You get frustrated. You feel, “Man, I just want to write a fucking song.” And sometimes it’s just not there. And you can’t dwell on that when that happens. You have to just let it go.

I don’t ever want to try to outdo myself. I feel like if you try to outdo yourself from the last thing, instead of just working on your inspiration, I think the music kind of suffers a little bit, sometimes. Sometimes I’ll just get a very general idea about the kind of song I want to write. And I’ll just sort of store it in the back of my mind and see what comes out. It can come out in five minutes, it can come out in five days, five years, five decades.

           Are there songs you worked on for years?

Yeah. “Longview” was one that we worked on for years. We knew what we wanted to write about. I told Mike to write a bass line and one day I came home. This is when we lived in the same house. He had just dropped some acid (laughs) and he said, “Listen to this.” And I said, “Okay, I guess it sounds good.” He came up with this bass line that really worked well, so we ended up practicing and came up with the song.

           Are there many songs you start that you don’t finish?

Yes. And I’ll just wait for the right time and the right place for it. There are some songs I finish but then I think it’s not right for the record we’re working on. There’s a couple of songs like that off of Nimrod. “Time of My Life” had been written a couple of years before.

           That song resounded in enormously with the public. Was it just a fluke, or did you sit down with the intention of writing that kind of song?

Both. I think that anyone can sit down and write a song. Whether or not it’s any good is another thing altogether. You know, there’s no school you can go to that will help you learn how to become a songwriter. But you can sit down and do it. Especially with rock & roll. But to put something down that is actually really great, it does go beyond you a little bit, and sometimes it takes patience.

           Do you write all the time?

Yeah. Whether it’s good or bad, I don’t know. Or if it’s appropriate for what kind of idea or sound that we want to get across on the record.

           Where do you think the great songs come from?

I don’t know. I really don’t. It comes from somewhere deep down inside of you that you didn’t even know existed. It’s kind of like seeing a shrink or something. (Laughs) There can be a lot of anger, or sadness, or joy, that you had but you didn’t even know you really had – but it can all come out. You feel a connection with it, and so other people can, too. You strike a nerve.

           Does songwriting get easier the more you do it?

I think so. I think you definitely learn more as you go. I think you find new ways to motivate yourself. You test yourself a little bit more and see what comes about. And you challenge yourself in new ways to see what comes out. You learn new ways to get the engines going. But whether or not it does get easier, it’s what I do. And I love doing it.

SCK / Edser Asks - mostly 31

(Asks under the cut, there are some spoilers and speculation in there so tread carefully if you don’t want to read that)

Anonymous said: Based on the photos of epi 31 that were released, I saw a theory online that said maybe Deniz bought Eda a star (picture she's holding a certificate paper). Gosh I hope not. That's an Eda and Serkan thing.

It seems to me that buying a star is so specific to Serkan and Eda it either can't be it, OR if is it then they (Eda and Deniz) are doing it to purposely troll Serkan and push at his jealousy buttons, since even if he doesn't remember it, he knows he bought her a star.  I can't imagine Deniz sincerely buying her a star and surprising her with it, because there is no way that goes over well with her, but who knows. I'm done pretending I know the limits of what this show will do, lmao.

Anonymous said: A lot of fans think that Deniz is proposing to Eda but that's one huge box for a ring! I feel like maybe he's been keeping things that are from their friendship over the years and is gifting her that. But I hope not, because I like to think of Serkan being the sentimental one over things related to Eda. Thoughts?

This scene may have to do with Deniz letting Eda know his real feelings, maybe, but why would he propose so soon, in public when they're already fake engaged, and when he knows Eda is still in love with Serkan?  And you're right, it's way too big for that, perhaps it's something from their childhood? idk. I'm having trouble working up any interest in what Deniz might put in a box, because zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.  He's boring.

Anonymous said: Although I have no context for the situation that leads to Serkan asking if Eda is happy in the next episode, I still need her to answer honestly. Now that they both have calmed down, had time to adjust to the current situation and he is clearly interested in getting to know her, she needs to tell him exactly how she feels about everything. Heck, totally okay with a comment that “she would have fought for him and their relationship if he had ever given her a chance.” He remembers their kiss, he is having flashes of her and wants to spend time with her, her expressing interest & opening up has to hit differently this time. And if he still says he is going to be with Selin then I do not even what the point of this storyline was 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Yeah, I'm pretty in line with you on this. I would love it if Eda was completely, emotionally honest with him in a moment like that. But my fear is that Eda's pride, understandably wounded by his engagement to the psycho, will get in the way. Our girl doesn't like to appear vulnerable, we've seen it too many times. And being honest about their feelings is NOT how they fell in love the first time around, is it? Nope they were both too terrified to admit it, until push came to shove. 

As far as the point of the storyline, its to show us that Serkan will fall in love with Eda even when the circumstances are completely stacked against them. To that end they have STACKED everything they could against them. So I think the only thing we can do is have patience. There’s no doubt what the endgame plan is, in show time it’s only been a few days, we need to give Serkan a minute to let the war between his heart and brain play out.  I think this episode is going to show us a Serkan who is drawn to her and SHOOK by her. And Selin seeing all of that.

Anonymous said: yeah, i think the amnesia plotline is especially hard to watch rn because of selin's presence and her and serkan's "relationship" and that's where most of the frustration around current eps stem from. altho, i have seen ppl get mad that he's not remembering from "key moments" in their story and somehow it ruins a part of their story and idk.. i just disagree bc clearly there's a plan there for what triggers his memory and when it happens.. and i feel like something has to be coming soon there

Oh, yes, I completely disagree with anyone who thinks that he needs to be remembering moments to prove his love. What bullshit. HE HAS A BRAIN INJURY. It’s AMNESIA. It’s not a choice. It’s not a diss on their love. I’ve noticee that there are legions of fans out there who don’t get the, “If I lived 100 lives, I’d fall in love with you 100 times,” and keep thinking that him recovering his memories is going to be the silver bullet that fixes thing. I don’t think so. I do think he’ll get them back eventually, but seems to me he’s going to need to fall in love first.  Which hopefully will become more fun to watch, because that’s pretty damn powerful. 

Anonymous said: I was just thinking, it kinda sucks we never got to see what Serkan's other two wishes were. Obviously that's all gone and forgotten and the way the story is going now, Serkan may have to offer Eda 3 wishes for hurting her after the memory loss. It would be interesting to see how that would go (it could be for humor purpose or could actually be meaningful for their relationship). Your thoughts?

Oh, yes, I wish we could have seen what the rest of the wishes were. It was a really fun construct that they didn’t play out. Probably a victim of the change in writers around that time.  Since none of the wishes could violate the contract, I really don’t know what Serkan was going to ask for. I think when all of this is said and done, Serkan’s going to have to grant more than 3 wishes for Eda...

Anonymous said: Think I will take my lead from you and stay positive about SCK. And I am going to believe the next episodes is full of great moments between Eda & Serkan that are actual steps back towards each other. Totally get that it has only been 3 days in the show but the weakest part for me has been how tightly Serkan is holding onto his relationship/engagement to Selin...yikes! It makes me cringe seeing his arm around her. I get that was his defense mechanism but it left Eda heartbroken with nothing to work with. Now he has softened, acknowledged her talent and his interest in her and after realizing he is totally jealous about her being with someone else then he needs to put an end to his engagement with Selin.

Oh yes, CRINGE CITY. I can barely look at her. Ugh. The arm around the waist is the worst! But I think you’re right, it’s his defense mechanism. He’s using it to keep distance with Eda who scares the CRAP out of him. Poor dummy. 

Anonymous said: “the barnacle on the ass of this show” 😂😂😂😂 Thank you, I needed that laugh, and never has Selin been better described. Those spoilers I’m reading better not be right 😤

Okay, I'm loath to get into spoilers, but are you talking about the Selin fake pregnancy rumors? I think those are more speculation than spoilers (however the last two weeks the end of the ep hasn't been in the spoiler drops, but then leaked out as prevalent rumors, so.... maybe happening again?)

Anyway @echoapothecary and I talked this through with the spoilers yesterday and I think this rumor does work with the spoilers and it might not be so bad if it happens the way we speculated. Of course all of this is predicated on these spoilers being correct, and who the eFF knows. Spoilers:

The end of the episode is not in the fragman

The end is a bomb

The final scene is bad but it will come in handy because it will serve to unmask Selin (the start of her downfall)

So with those spoilers... I do think the cliffhanger bomb could be Selin telling Eda she's pregnant. But notice that key point... telling Eda.  

Selin is going to be freaked out after seeing Serkan's interest in Eda grow all episode, and she’s supposedly going to witness something that happens between Edser on the boat. So by the end of the episode she probably feels him slipping away and will be beyond desperate. So I could see her dropping one big bomb, a hail Mary pass, that she thinks might drive Eda away and even out of town.

So if she did that would definitely be a “bomb” and it would also be “bad” from the audience perspective.  Now to it “coming in handy because it will serve to unmask her.” I’m pretty sure she and Serkan have not had sex since the accident. The show went out of their way three times to show us they aren’t sleeping in the same bed. So once Serkan finds out what Selin said, he’s going to instantly realize she told one whopper of a manipulative lie to Eda.  And if that happens it suddenly calls into question every single thing she’s told him since he called her after the accident. Hence, unmasking begins. 

So if that happens, and Selin tries to manipulate Eda into giving up, I could see Eda deciding to leave town. Selin might even tell her Serkan doesn’t know because its too much right now on top of the amnesia, so it’s up to Eda to step back and so Eda won’t mention it to him and expose her lie. Who knows. If it happens I expect it would be resolved in 32 after some angst and some dramatic Serkan and Eda moments (imagine him going after her if she’s trying to leave and he finds out why from someone like Melo or Deniz). 

Anyway, is this what’s going to happen? WTF knows. Speculation is never correct, it could be anything, but it seems right in line with the melodramatics this show has been going for since the plane crash.  Selin is rumored to be leaving soon, so if this is how we get rid of her soon, fine by me. I just want her off this show BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.  

You mentioned serialized plot in that Anon Carmen Sandiego ask. What, in your opinion, makes for a good serialized plot?

I think at the end of the day what makes a good serialized plot - besides adhering to ockham’s razor and making there’s continuity without things getting super convoluted (which also applies to episodic series) - also, again, applies to episodic series: the strength of the characters. Are they interesting, compelling, likeable, endearing, etc? A series lives and dies on the strength of its character writing. 

I’ve seen series fall by the wayside because they cared more about plot than character and emotional continuity. There are also series, like Carmen Saniego, where I felt like there wasn��t enough plot. A lot of series balance both being episodic and plot heavy, such as the Owl House, Steven Universe, ATLA, usually leaning more way one than the other.

Characters are really important in something more serialized, because they’re our emotional anchors. While they can sometimes understandably be put on the back burner sometimes for plot - especially if a series markets itself from the beginning as being more plot heavy - if there’s no emotional investment in characters, you’re not gonna care about any of the big dramatic reveals or twists and turns. 

For example, Viren’s fake out illusion death in 3x09 would feel cheap if we weren’t emotionally attached to Soren and Claudia’s relationship, because the consequences it has for those two last past the reveal that it was all fake. But if we don’t care about Soren and Claudia, then it’s just a “oh wow” moment and nothing more. We don’t actually care. For a movie example of this, I always think of “Star Wars: Rogue One.” I was sad that (spoilers) Jyn lost her dad, because I can imagine that losing a parent would be hard, but I wasn’t invested in their specific relationship. It was “oh I’m sad a character lost their dad,” not “I’m sad Jyn lost her father.”

Which is to say that the Dragon Prince is very serialized, but also knows how to prioritize character by having their plot, generally, be extraordinarily character driven at every turn, especially for the main trio. Things hardly ever happen to them (passive characters). The plot continues because of their specific choices and decisions (active characters).

For an episodic series, or an episodic part of a series - like all those that have been discussed so far except, technically, TDP - having strong characters is even more important. Plot can be a buffer, something to keep someone going when you’re not invested enough in the characters. But when you don’t really, or don’t always, have plot, that buffer is gone. An episodic series (or episodes) are entirely built on the characters. 

Steven Universe has a lot of Filler (episodic) eps, but I enjoyed all of them just as much as the plot episodes, because I loved all the characters or enjoyed all of them at the very least. It’s also why I enjoyed the Owl House and a lot my favourite ATLA episodes are some of the most ‘filler’ ones (i.e. “Tales of Ba Sing Se” is entirely filler in every sense of the word, but it is many people’s favourite episode in the series). 

This is also why for shows like Carmen Sandiego or She-Ra: The Princesses of Power, having such a low level of character investment - i.e. strong emotional investment in maybe 3 or 4 characters from each series max, for a variety of different reasons - made the show boring when there wasn’t plot (or, in She-ra’s case, worldbuilding) to help prop it up. I never cared about any of the various Carmen Sandiego villains (or particularly enjoyed them) or Zach and Ivy, or any of the side princesses or adults from She-ra (save Angela). And when that’s more than half your cast, that’s a problem.

It’s a very personal preference problem (someone could feel the exact same way about TDP, for example, of only being emotionally invested Claudia and Janai, or something) but it’s more your problem.

So, usually in a story, the problem lies in the characters. Either them being too passive, not logical enough in how they affect the plot, underdeveloped or too developed yet uninteresting, that’s the key. Serialized or otherwise.

Bulgaria brings a mentally reassuring anthem to Rotterdam 2021

I’ve said so that VICTORIA herself sort of agreed to have done “Tears Getting Sober” if she was allowed to, but for one I have to thank that EBU said that the artists can’t have their 2020 songs back? You’ll see why when I get to the review after two boring paragraphs of text with technical info, for the country that is Bulgaria!

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Victoria Georgieva (or VICTORIA, but I can’t be arsed to continuously capitalize her name so I’ll just say Victoria from now on) was born a singer, for she started to sing at the age 11, went to a specific school of angel voices (no really that’s what it was called), and tried to go to the X Factor while a liiiiiittle too young until realizing that she needed to wait for a few years, and wait a few years she did, and went on to the X Factor again.

She didn’t win, but she still got to sign a contract and sing some stuff in Bulgarian before she decided to rebrand, started singing in English, and completely decided that ballads is her style. She cannot really do upbeat most of the time. So you can’t really have a bop from her in the future. (Well except that there’s a couple of songs in her discography that I personally classify as “bops” but they’re more like... idek sad bops?? but they can be danced to, but I get her, she doesn’t do anything that’s more loud and upbeat and clubby and summery kind of - in short, nothing you can go “YAAASSSS QUEEEEEN” over to.)

The entry she ended up singing, “Growing Up Is Getting Old”, is what I can describe to be about overcoming the emotional twists and turns inside of you as you grow older, because as it turns out, it ain’t what you thought it would be - but if you push just a little further, you realize that if you’re growing up, maybe the life isn’t so bad, afterall - you are able to get up. Somehow. It was written as part of Boris-Milanov-led songwriting camp held during summer, and a lot of people seemed to be a part of it because multiple different folk have songwriting credits on the potential Bulgarian entries this year.

REVIEW

Let’s get this out of the way immediately. I prefer “Growing Up Is Getting Old” to “Tears Getting Sober”. The former sounds a lot less irritatingly underwhelming and a lot more positively overwhelming you with warm emotions and sunglow. “Tears Getting Sober” was a song I could never really connect with - maaaaybe the last chorus is much better on there, but it doesn’t do much for me either, I guess.

Their 2021 forray however is a much different kind of thing - once again, going for lyrical non-cliches, Victoria tells a tale about her inner turmoils and continuing in life, in a way that’s personal to her and also kind of relatable to all of us. We all have these moments of fear and anxiety and nervous systems aching. If only there was someone who’d tell us that we’re worth saving... thanks a lot Victoria, you’re the MVP. Filling in the void that Netherlands from last year had brought us but not anymore - another personal song about getting old and having those kind of feelings inside - and doing a great job at taking the baton in the right way (even with featuring the word “grow” in both of the titles, neat coincidence).

Not only the lyrics feel like a hug, the song just emulates ray of sunshine and golden glitter coming down from the sky, Molly Sanden style. The violins in the G major key playing so precisely, building up momentum throughout the entire song, slowly but surely - starting with the ticking clock in the first verse that may have subtle violin in there; and the first chorus is just so simple piano, and then the second chorus has a tinge of electronic something, and the last chorus goes full in with the backing vocals boosting the song, after Victoria performs the quite magnificent bridge... now I don’t have synesthesia but I associate music keys with colors, and to me G major would always come across as something yellow or orange - “Growing Up Is Getting Old” is a perfect example of why’s that for me. And obviously, Victoria’s love for harmony-humming (even if there’s just one instance of it after she sings “star crossed soul”) complements the song to a T.

And it turned out to be a much better choice than last year’s. Maybe finally a female ballad I am getting behind.

Now I wanna know why the bookies don’t appreciate THIS entry as much as last year?

Granted, now it’s 2021 and the environment is so much different, and the songs have changed, and the dynamics have changed, and now there’s suddenly more competition at stake. And for Bulgaria it fares quite much more underwhelmingly - well, at this moment they’re like 6th, which isn’t bad, but there’s a lack of sung praises coming its way, not quite a feat that “Tears Getting Sober” actually achieved, being the bookies fave right before the cancellation of last year. In general the year has been pretty dry for the previous winner picks like Iceland, Lithuania and this, but I can’t say that the previous winner bets from 2020 are all that dead either? Though I gotta say that Bulgaria wasn’t gonna win 2020 anyway, so it’s a lose-lose in this case.

Also I just can’t at that music video being a little dramatic at the beginning, with the cancellation of Eurovision being presented as if it were a worldwide disaster during which we all shall lock ourselves into bunkers and wait until the better days, eventhough the panini is not war and war supplies kit is not just enough to survive it. But it seems like that the world is quite literally falling apart, as evidenced by Victoria going through all kinds of pathways away from her living room, meeting a  (presumably) mini version of her somewhere in between, and literally surrounded by the shaking environment by the last moments of the song

before we realize it was just reality recursing from the TV’s point of view that Victoria was watching all along, and then she leaves the living room again, but in her world, everything is normal and she could just go wherever she wants by car. Even I can’t come up with a storyline ending that’s somewhat intertwined and all plot-twisty and more confusing than that. But props to her team I guess

Approval factor: Let’s say I somewhat approve this message. Follow-up factor: For the sake of argument let me just say that Bulgaria is moving on a great path, eventhough the former entry leaves me cold, at least the current entry keeps me warm at all times, like a cup of cocoa and a good blanket. Please Bulgaria, never run out of sponsors. Qualification factor: I’ve seen one or two people throw around the “surprise NQ” tag for this song and I don’t get why??? There’s no way that the tense atmosphere of semifinal 2 would sure-fire-ly kill Bulgaria, even if they have a lot less chances to win this year than they had the last one. There can be some shock NQs indeed though, and if there are, I am paging... uhhhhh Finland? Idk why but you might see what I mean if I ever get around to reviewing “Dark Side”. Bulgaria? Never. It may not win the semi but it will cradle around the top 7 somehow.

INTERNAL NF CORNER

That’s right, Bulgaria managed to do both.

At the time when one other of Bulgaria’s songs got released, within the *Special* Eurovision September 1st-onwards range, people naturally succumbed to their primal instinct of asking whether that’s her Eurovision song... only for Vic to probably announce this early on that no, it’s just *one* of potential ESC entries she’s harbouring. And the remaining potential ones were all on her debut EP. Who actually got a more well-orchestrated schedule for everyone to follow, and yet, people were much more keen to cling on the first EP song out of the gate, “Imaginary Friend”. Now I get that the fans of that song were super upset at the revelation that IF is not going, but it is a technically strong song for the sake of being a technically strong song, and I don’t want to think that Victoria is only forced to choose the songs that can win for her, so she’s such a sweetheart for gravitating towards a song she could dearly care about. So props to her team saving the initial winner for last to be revealed, lol.

Though wasn’t her personal favourite a Billie-Eilish-lite-upbeat-kinda-track Phantom Pain?

Which was also my personal favourite?

Look, I know that favouring the only non-ballad in the whole lineup (well “Ugly Cry” is also not quite a ballad but its beat is kinda so-so, so I tend to ignore it) is kinda sus, also, y’all are sick to death to Billie Eilish comparisons, but I do believe that Billie would never be able to do an “Imaginary Friend” while Victoria could do a “Lovely”. This makes me remember the cover art of Billie’s debut album where she sits on her bed, dressed in white, and so is Victoria on this very MV, with strange shit going on behind her in the mirror. To the mirror, her reflection acts creepy, back again.

The other 2 I don’t feel like caring about enough, sure they got their cred, sure there’s one entry properly crediting Milanov (who seems to not have an actual entry this year that’s purely attributed to *him*, as opposed to 3 last year, 2 of which were performed by acts that returned this year????), sure there’s the funny thing about having a funeral song where out of this and Finland only Austria managed to send a quote unquote “funeral” song, but I think the funeral song would’ve sounded better if the pre-section of it on the “Phantom Pain” video was THE “funeral” song itself, and not whatever was that other funeral song.

In between there was a public sort of survey where people could submit feedback and positive words to Vic’s choices to help her decide - I didn’t get to vote but I feel fine with the winner eitherway, and that counts for something! And the end result was revealed at the very end of Victoria’s very own rooftop concert.

The colors on the circle thingy of this, they were meant to symbolize all Bulgarian entries up to Victoria’s 2nd one, in pictograms that kind of reminded me of Coldplay attributing every song on ‘Mylo Xyloto’ its own little symbol.

The concert was not only full of music and also adverts for the inaugural sponsor iCard (that also included some element of foreshadow in between the suspense, you’ll see why), but also the Bulgarian folk talking before each song, saying all the positive nice words they can for Vic; that she’s talented, and that they were so excited that Bulgaria was doing well in the odds last year prior to cancellation, bla bla bla... also some people were proud of voting for Bulgaria outside Bulgaia, and they made puns about the forthcoming songs on the concert that they were introducing, and so on, and there was also someone called Dara, whom I really want to be sent by Bulgaria one day to show off that they’re not afraid of doing trashy-esque bops that don’t necessarily win

Also they reminded me that Lucy from No Angels (aka the sole reason Bulgaria 12′d Germany in 2008) still exists.

Also Azis.

There was also an intermission where Eurovision 2021 acts could say all the nice words to Victoria on their own part. And several artists chose to... how shall I put it... use up their several seconds rather interestingly. Like how The Roop would say something real quick only to delve into more of their usual “let’s dance, let’s discoteque! *hand scissors* ;P” self-promo, and Senhit carelessly being allowed to say whatever she wants in Italian without subtitles <3 Sorry sis, they’re only given to people from another white-green-red flag-color country.

About the iCard foreshadow... so there’s their advert about Victoria waiting in the line to get something in the Soft Vocals Store, and people ahead of her giving her money the standard oldfashioned way, and the old lady at the counter is... slow, to say the least. After a good amount of time spent waffling around, Victoria finally pulls out the iCard application and pays for the imaginary items she wants, then narrates some stuff about said application, and a Eurovision entry of hers plays when the old lady is at home, spending time in front of TV enjoying the music. Before the concert, the song that played was “Tears Getting Sober”. The advert played once more before Victoria’s big entry decision and entry MV reveal, and in place of the 2020 entry, “Growing Up Is Getting Old” was the one that sounded out loud... Now you may think that there were attempts at some sort of spoilage here, but after that ad before the concert EP NF result, there was this other advert starring Victoria that played “Imaginary Friend” at the end, a last-ditch effort to trick viewers into going “see? just because that ad played the chosen song doesn’t mean it’s the chosen song!! this song could as well be a chosen song as well!!” yeah no shut up GUIGO IS the chosen song kthxbyebye.

ANY LAST WORDS?

Having said all that praise, I actually have “Growing Up Is Getting Old” fairly low on my ranking. It’s just because the year is so damn good and I have a lot more songs to care about more than this, but I appreciate the gesture that this singer is sending very much. Good luck on your road to conquer Europe, Victory-ia, I’m sure you get the best of the experience and all, because you would deserve it.

[ ooc: ep 4 liveblog & opinions under the cut! this one got long winded because I had a lot that I was thinking about (and it took me twice the length of the episode to actually watch through it because I kept pausing to type oops) ]

yeeeesh that’s one way to start. thank you for letting bucky cry.

but also the look of pride on her face when she says “you are free” they’ve been working so hard and she’s so happy with the progress bucky has made ;_;

and now she’s so betrayed :(

but I’m also so glad Bucky learned xhosa that’s super important! <3 part of decolonization of the past involves respecting and learning and propagating languages and cultures that have been trodden over. Wakanda has been something of a safe place in that regard, and are now doing the outreach to help their continent and the world, but it takes the world of people within the majority putting in the effort and learning and embracing those cultures and languages (without appropriation, which I know is a fine line to walk sometimes) in order to really make progress. once it is no longer alien, it is also no longer scary, and can be held in proper esteem.

“sweet of you” shut your mouth Zemo xD

“she’s just a kid” thank you for your compassion Sam. and while she’s an extremist, I’m not sure whether Karli counts as a supremacist or just a terrorist? maybe she counts as genocidal if she’s truly trying to restore things to Blip conditions but it’s kind of unclear.

“the serum never corrupted Steve” “touché” YO EVEN HE ADMITS IT

Sam’s understanding of cultural habits (and there are many overlaps between various cultures and the ways they mourn) is such an asset here, and I’m glad that they’re pulling a contrast between the tech-driven, cold, calculating predictions made by certain people and organizations in other parts of Marvel and the general sort of soulful and instinctive approach here

Turkish delight. Excuse me but Narnia cemented the idea in so many people’s heads that it is this magical thing but it’s like superglue in your mouth. It is not irresistible, Zemo.

Legislation and social change as a result of violent action is nothing new. Every peaceful protest has been backed up by some kind of harm, whether it be economic, like a boycott, or physical, either damage to property or lives. I think instinctively people understand this, but it’s good to see it put in the spotlight.

Sam is “stranger danger” to these kids :/

“I know what happens when people say they’re going to help out... nothing.” Ouch.

The way Sam’s gaze falls at that too, because he knows theoretically that a lot of these injustices are happening and can empathize, but practically hearing it hurts. He doesn’t like not being trusted either, but I think he can probably understand why.

Zemo playing that psychology game! Kids love food and the idea that he must be a good person just for having a kid is dumb as hell but something that kids would gravitate towards. Smart man. Doubly smart for not telling them, Nat would approve if she didn’t hate him :P

Sam de-escalating is gonna be a trend I can just see it.

Cherry blossom tea? Interesting choice.

SHARON HI 

Nat vc: gosh it’s nice to see someone competent around here. 

ooooh they’re really reinforcing the idea of Captain America being a figurehead that inspires people

“heroes these days don’t have the luxury of keeping their hands clean” yeah well it’s because Steve had people like Bucky and Nat do do his dirty work, but sure

“all the people history just left out” OW

okay first of all Sam being the one who is insisting on reasoning with them because he knows what it’s like to come from an oppressed people !!! he knows grief and trauma !!! he can do this !!!!! I just know Walker is gonna fuck it up for them :P

second, Walker trying to emotionally manipulate Bucky? it’s a testament to how far he’s come that he doesn’t punch the guy immediately lol

Hoskins being the voice of reason as a foil for Walker again what?! this version of Lamar isn’t nearly as terrible as I expected.

Zemo calling that itty bitty girl his associate xD He really does understand the people here though... aaaand he’s getting handcuffed. Totally didn’t see that coming (he’ll probably break free anyway)

The conversation between Karli & Sam ;_; 

“you’re either brilliant or hopelessly optimistic” “por quo no los dos.gif”

Walker trying to guilt Bucky again god he’s so dumb. I appreciate the fact that he’s ruthless but he’s so narrow minded in how he approaches problems. oh no I have an issue let’s punch it until it dies! come on man.

Karli is so heartbreakingly naive and that’s becoming more and more obvious. I love Sam opening her up like this wow.

WALKER FUCKING IT UP AS ALWAYS

and the cuffs empty WHAT DID I TELL YOU

god we were getting somewhere ;____;

oh good just what we need, serum in Walker’s hands. he was already awful he doesn’t need to be more awful gdi

“we separate them and then we kill Captain America” ...yes, we’re listening xD

I know crazy because I am crazy... oh boy we got some internalized stuff, but let’s play it off

still a little blame game going in terms of where the shield ended up I see

THE DORA MILAJE ARE HERE -swoon-

pOINTY STICKS I cackled oh boy he gonna get his ass WHOOPED

Sam is enjoying the hell out of this

Zemo watching and drinking

“Looking strong, John!” “Bucky”

oooh dear they tangling and Zemo’s getting away.

your arm’s off! no it’s not

WAIT WHAT DID AYO SAY BEFORE SHE SAID JAMES

they all got their asses kicked ah well. also the look on Walker’s face says he gonna serum himself up, the lil fucker. oh no someone’s better than you how will your ego ever survive.

a lil Battlestar logo!!! shut up that’s cute. they’re really making him halfway likeable here.

“power just makes a person more of themselves”

ohhhh okay time to unlock Walker’s traumatic backstory. at least he feels bad about the things he did. at least he knows that those medals of honor are covered in blood. people are at least partly made by their circumstances, and I wonder what he was like before the war. the only indication we have of it is him being a football star, and while I may not have had the best track record with those in my youth, that doesn’t mean there aren’t decent ones out there...

Sarah’s “my world doesn’t matter to America, so why should I care about its mascot?” Oh, we’re speaking to the disenfranchisement of marginalized people hardcore today okay. if anyone’s gotten this far in my overly long commentary I want you to know that this is the realest alright? it’s hard to be proud of a country and its symbols when it doesn’t do right by you, when the majority doesn’t do right by you. am I glad I was born here? sure. are there worse places to be? sure. am I proud to be an american? oof, man, don’t ask me that.

Karli is not pulling her punches, she’s threatening the whole fam. Sam isn’t gonna like that... He sounds like he’s trying to suppress panic instead of being angry on the phone call with Sarah. I think he understands what Karli is trying to do, even though he hates how. And he’s worried, because he’s always gonna be worried. Poor guy. And there’s the confrontation.

Sharon got their backs!

Oof, seeing the gun with the shield.

Gunshot, run, oh, listening, he’s already got the serum, maybe? Given how deeply that shield is embedded in the wall I’m gonna say yes. YUP I WAS RIGHT.

Something about the water dripping and Lemar’s face makes me think he may have been waterboarded at some point :( but maybe he’s just in a lot of pain.

THE KNIFE CATCH. YES YES YES. THE KNIFE FLIP. Nat is so hearteyes.

Ooh, we gotta upgrade that wingpack with Stark repulsors pls go Sam go

oh no. Lemar. fuck. FUCK.

oh good now you’ve done it. killing a guy as Captain America. fuck.

the blood on the shield as the last shot! ~cinematography~

hoooo I’m chilled. I knew something along these lines was coming but oof. 

Ranking ALL the Sims 3 Expansion Packs - tonitalks

WOW, Tonitalks and I have a lot of similar ideas about the TS3 EPs! ❤️

It’s like, on one hand, every TS3 EP is amazing (especially when compared to the pittance being sold in TS4′s EPs). But on the other hand, EA really dropped the ball in areas where it should have really gone further to expand core gameplay. Even the best EPs had glaring flaws, and tend to fall short of things TS1/TS2 did better. But on the whole, what we got was just enough to keep the TS3 fandom alive even 11 years later. Bless.

MY THOUGHTS (under the cut):

(Unless Tumblr’s flagged it, I could’ve sworn I made an updated Best/Worst post ranking all the TS3 EPs. But the only one still on my blog is my old one I made before I bought all the EPs, though it mostly still aligns with how I feel.)

Toni S A B C D F ranking system is mostly based on which packs have the most content and varied things things to do. Toni’s S A B ranks are her must-owns, while the C D F ranks are her most disappointing games.

S: Generations, Supernatural

Toni’s only complaint about GEN is the Imaginary Friends lifestate, which: same. Frikkin creepy. But the rest of GEN is a MUST-OWN for kids & elders.

And finally! A reviewer giving Supernatural the respect it DESERVES! ^0^ SN was stuffed to the brim; SO much content! Granted, it’s no Makin Magic, and I personally was underwhelmed by Moonlit Falls, as I like Midnight Hollow and Dragon Valley WAY more, but SN is still my favorite TS3 EP, regardless. Anyone who loves the “weird, wonderful and magic“ side of The Sims NEEDS SN. 💯💯💯 (Just make sure to mod the Zombies out or adjust your lifestate settings; whatever works to get rid of them.)

A: Seasons, University

Seasons is an excellent pack--Toni wanted a new world, which: same, but there’s just an ungodly amount of new content in SSNS, it’s the best and most well-made TS3 EP, period. 

To this day I’ve NEVER sent my sims to UNI. I hate school IRL, so unless my sims are going to effing Hogwarts I have no desire to ever bother with the school crap. Toni doesn’t like the 3 social groups, but I actually LOVE them. Almost all of my sims are either Rebels or Nerds. Crazy enough, I love the amount of new content UNI added, I just never use it for my sims’ schooling. I love the radio station, weather machine, whiteboard, skeleton set, etc etc.

B: World Adventures, Pets

For Toni, the main complaint for WA is basically the repetitiveness of the tombs, and their lack of replayability. Yes, technically this is true, as WA veers dangerously close to where TS4 went wrong with all the storyline GPs, as if they’re Castaways or The Sims Medieval. The main difference though is that we can create/download as many new tombs as we want, which 100% keeps WA fresh and interesting for me. But yes, It’s an excellent pack, which is crazy considering it’s the first one for TS3.

Toni's biggest criticism for Pets is how high maintenance horses are, which YES. Unless your sims are rich and own a lot of property, horses are almost impossible to own...but that’s how horses are IRL anyway, so IMO I don’t see that as a negative. The only problem is when you want horses in CC worlds that are too small, where you can't fit in enough 64x64 lots. (So it’s no surprise TS4 didn’t even bother. 🙄 )

C: Ambitions

Toni felt that more could’ve been done with the professions & careers, which, YES! Too many rabbithole careers, and not enough interactions. I freaking love that they added professions with playable firehouses and private investigators, but I too wish that every career could just be opened up; I hate rabbitholes. And she thought Twinbrook was meh, but I think Twinbrook’s one of the better EP worlds. (The Store worlds are where it’s at, though -- eff most of the EP worlds, tbh.) Overall I really really like AMB; it was headed in the right direction, though I can see where it could’ve easily let people down who were expecting a lot more from the professions/careers. (EA obviously learned NOTHING from AMB’s feedback, considering what Get to Work did....)

D: Showtime, Island Paradise, Into the Future

Showtime: Toni said “what was this game?“ 😂The Genies were a poor fit, the professions should’ve given us WAY more, there’s no acting career in “Hollywood,“ etc. Exactly. Not to mention the dumpster fire that was Simport. But I have a love/hate relationship with SHT. I actually treat SHT the way I do UNI & IP -- I really like the side content it added; I just never bother with the core game mechanic: superstardom, schools, and underwater. That makes 50% of the game useless for me, which is why I always get EPs on sale. ^_^

I agree with Toni that Island Paradise should’ve been like World Adventures, with different vacation locations. It could’ve been more like Castaways, with Tiki/Polynesian/Melanesian islands, Asian islands, Caribbean islands, Mediterranean Islands, etc. Plus, both of us didn’t like the mermaid system. Making them requires too much effort for them to not do all that much underwater. But to be fair, IP added A LOT Of new content. For what it did add, there is an impressive amount. Island Living sure can't say the same! 🤣

Into the Future however.... I understand why Toni was so hard with this pack. Trust: I ran the main thread at the officials that asked for a Time Travel expansion, so ITF holds a very special place in my heart, cuz EA for the most part kinda listened? ITF is awesome. It added some super cool content that I use religiously; ITF’s one of my top 3 EPs. But yeah, choices were made that had me like WTF?? Toni wanted ITF to be more hi-tech, which SAME! I wanted more of a Star Wars Blade Runner cyberpunk neon metropolis, and a steampunk/dieselpunk industrial dystopia. I have no idea where TF that “utopian” Willy Wonka zany Hunger Games nonsense came from. It was kinda retro-futuristic Jetsons Star Trek TOS in a way, which I like, but...? Choices. EA definitely could’ve done more with ITF, for sure. IMO itr needed to be more like WA, too. U_U

F: Late Night - I hollered! 😭

Y’all know I effing hate Late Night. Only reason I keep it installed is for the musical instruments & highrises. It’s certainly no Apartment Life, and it’s definitely no Night Life, but it’ll do in a pinch. The obnoxious Celebrities/Paparazzi, Twilight vampires, cramped Bridgeport...no thanks. Especially with Boroughsburg out here just SHAMING EA. SHAME! I wish someone would remake Bridgeport as a cyberpunk world, that would be awesome. Otherwise most of LN is useless to me. :\

_________________________________________________________

TL;DR

So basically, if I were to follow Toni’s S A B C D F ranking system, and classify TS3′s EPs based on its content quantity, and EA’s dedication to thematic cohesion, my list would be as follows:

S: Generations, Seasons, Supernatural

All radically overhaul the core mechanics of the game/world itself: age states, weather, and lifestates/occults.

A: World Adventures, Pets

World Adventures added 3 new worlds and cultures; and Pets added animals. It’s just arguable whether EA should’ve done more with them all or not.

B: University, Island Paradise, Into the Future

Chock-full of new activities & skills, but your mileage may vary.

C: Ambitions (AMB didn’t really come with as much as it should have)

D: Showtime (SHT included a lot, but not much of it made thematic sense)

F: Late Night (LN needed to commit to what makes a celebrity--music/movie/fashion/etc CAREERS--rather than the hollow lifestyle of a celeb)

MONTHLY MEDIA: May 2020

Well there’s another month come and gone. TV and books seems to be what I gravitate towards whilst in quarantine. Anyway here’s the month of May in a wordy nutshell!

……….FILM……….

Blockers (2018) I was mostly drawing while my partner watched this but from what I heard and occasionally saw, it was fun! Silly and gross and I’m not reeeeally sure who the target demo was, but it had a modern and more nuanced perspective on sexuality so that’s cool.

……….TELEVISION……….

Mad Men (Episode 1.11 to 3.03) WHO KNEW THIS SHOW WAS SO GOOD?!? The amount of screentime dedicated to advertising seems to be dwindling a bit, but oooooh there’s still so much juicy office drama (something I think I enjoy because of being self-employed and working from home). It looks like we’ll fail at our attempt to finish the series before it leaves Netflix in June but it was fun while it lasted.

Sex and the City (Episode 1.01 to 2.06) Returning to this for something when we don’t have time to watch Mad Men (or need something lighter) and it’s hitting the spot. We’re slowly getting past the era of randos talking to the camera (and mostly past Carrie breaking the fourth wall). I was in college when I first watched this and I’ve come to realize how much I’ve grown as a human as I only now have enough self-awareness to recognize I’m a Charlotte. 

Gravity Falls (Episode 1.09 to 1.15) We’ve since slowed down on this a bit but I’m really excited to get back into it as season 2 is just so good!

Disney Gallery: Star Wars: The Mandalorian (Episode 1.01 to 1.04) The first three eps didn’t really do much for me. The one on the directors was cool as I didn’t realize how many there were, but it would’ve been great if they talked a little more about what they brought to the table or why they took this on. Ep 4 on technology was more my speed but overall this still kinda just feels like surface level stuff. Loooots of time spent on actors and directors and professionals complimenting each other and I am not here for that.

……….READING……….

Illuminatus! Part 1: The Eye in the Pyramid by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson (Page 204/304) What a trip. It’s pretty much what I expected from an comedic book revolving around the illuminati/secret societies from the 1970s, though it took me ages to adjust to the writing style. I’m really enjoying it, but be warned that there’s no major break between narrators so it can jump between plots with each new paragraph. It feels, at times, like a tone poem, but maybe that’s me putting more of the generation into the text than was intended. Again, I think I like it, but am pretty sure I’m missing a lot. 

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik (Complete) Such a stellar read. I loved Novik’s Uprooted and while you could read either in any order, they both feel of the same world. Both books are full of fairytale danger akin to the traditional stories. They’re beautiful and uncertain and familiar and new. I realize I’m being super vague and general but it’s because it’s so hard to pin down what’s excellent about this book. It’s just good and if you like fantasy and classic fairy tales with layered characters and a more nuanced approach to good and evil then read this AND Uprooted.

Umbrella Academy Volume 3: Hotel Oblivion by Gerard Way and Gabriel Ba  (Complete) It’s great to get back to this world but I think I need to give it another read. The first two volumes were frantic, but there was typically a clear drive or sense of what the big picture was. Volume 3 felt like a buildup or segue into the next story being told and that’s...not great.

Satania by Fabien Vehlmann and Kerascoet (Complete) I’ve rambled at length about how much I love past books by these two (particularly Beautiful Darkness) but this one didn’t connect quite the same. The story only scratched the surface of (admittedly really interesting) themes and I would’ve loved for it to get fleshed out further. The art is consistently incredible and their take on a subterranean world is breathtaking. I recommend if you want to read every book by these two, but wouldn’t suggest this as your first introduction (for that, Beautiful Darkness, or Beauty).

Hellboy Library Edition Vol 5 & 6 by Mike Mignola, Duncan Fegredo, Dave Stewart (vol.5 and 6), and others (vol. 6) (Complete) A return to form. Fegredo is such a great choice for taking over from Mignola for the main story. The final story in volume 6 is still a weird choice to me (especially since the penultimate one would’ve been much better) but I’m so excited to read the next volume. Such an cool chapter in comics history.

GRRL SCOUTS by Jim Mahfood (Complete) Very late 90s. Like soooooooo 90s. Some of the writing hasn’t aged well, but it’s interesting to see how much things have changed in...oh jeez 20 YEARS! 

……….AUDIO……….

Staying In with Emily & Kumail (Podcast) As a dedicated listener to their old podcast, The Indoor Kids, it’s great to listen to these two again. Also weirdly comforting that their dynamic and personalities (at least as far as podcasting is concerned) hasn’t changed over the years between then and now. It’s gotta be at least 4 or 5 years, right? Anyway, this is a good listen if you’re navigating the pandemic (jk, we’re all doing that).

Articles of Interest (Podcast) So I think this is technically a miniseries put out by 99% Invisible but I loved season 1 and season 2 is just as good. Every episode is concise and these latest episodes are really diving into new parts of the fashion industry. Very cool.

Unravel Season 4: Snowball (Podcast) I checked this out on a recommendation since our mutual friend went through a similar situation (getting romantically involved with a perpetual con artist) and it was so interesting to see the overlap. It’s just such a wild story of deception and habitual lying and theft and manipulation. Great listen.

Dedicated Side B by Carly Rae Jepsen Exactly the sort of pick-me-up we need right now. Good stuff. Always a treat. Very happy.

……….GAMING……….

Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The latest session had the group spending...maybe 25 minutes sorting out how they were going to approach the Jolly Roger (ship of the dreaded Captain Hook). Their plan is a mixture of stealth and impersonating what amounts to Pirate Ship Quality Control. We’ll see how that goes. Anyway I’m really excited by how the group is exploring the island and for this book to come out in October!

D&D Homebrew Adventure (Menace of Merlin) The group is sorting out a curse/illness plaguing one of the character’s hometown and...the timing of this plot is not ideal BUT everyone seems to be okay with it. They took out some orcs and hopefully will be able to find the hermit that can help with the slow petrification of the village.

Tyranny of Dragons /Gainfully Employed (Wizards of the Coast) I’m not sure I posted about this last month but the party has just sorted out the cause of a failing lighthouse (that’s magical) and brought the culprit to justice! Now to head out of Phlan and sort out some silly rumors that I’m sure are nonsense.

And that’s it! As always, hit me with your recommendations if you have something I should read/play/watch/or listen to!

Happy Sunday.

a bow for the bad decisions

canon-divergent AU from ep. 24 (on ao3)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10 | part 11 | part 12 | part 13 | part 14 | part 15 | part 16 | part 17 | part 18

“He searched for you for three months while everyone said you were dead,” Jiang Cheng says, flat. “Don’t be a dumbass. Whatever you did, he’ll probably get over it as soon as you say ‘Lan Zhan.’ Don’t know why, but he apparently likes you.” The disgust in his voice is a little uncalled-for, Wei Wuxian wants to point out. He is — or, well, he used to be — charming. He even got Zewu-jun to drink with him the other day. “A-Xian,” shijie says, far more gently, “why don’t you just talk to him? You don’t have to tell him everything if you don’t want to, but I think it would be good to speak with him.” It’s impossible to say no to that tone of voice, and he subsides with minimal grumbling. He wants wine or a fight, something to distract himself from the new gnawing in chest at the prospect of talking to — of confessing to — Lan Zhan.

They finish up with the rest of their discussion, just tying up their next steps. Jiang Cheng will talk to Yu Bujue, a cousin from Meishan who used to tag along after Wei Wuxian before everything fell apart, and Yanli will write an invitation to Nie Huaisang for Jiang Cheng to sign. Wei Wuxian will start working with the youngest juniors after this week and come up with draft arrays as quickly as he can.

Laying it out with the both of them, he feels his breath come easier than it has in weeks. Something like hope, tentative and bud-like, peeks up in his chest, and he thinks maybe they can actually make this work. Since Yiling, since Wen Chao threw him into the Burial Mounds and he — well. He witnessed the end of that life firsthand. He’d known, when he was clinging to the sword and coaxing the Burial Mounds to his will, that he would never walk back into the life he’d had before, the life where he’d been Wei Wuxian of Yunmeng Jiang. He had broken too much, changed too much. He was shattered porcelain that couldn’t be fit back together in its original form. He hadn’t expected this: reshaping and reorganizing their lives to fit his new shape into them again. Hope is a dangerous thing. He can’t afford to hold it too tightly — but for now, he turns his gaze away instead of smothering it. That night, after dinner, he and Jiang Cheng wind up laying out on the end of the pier over the water. Fruit wine slips sticky and warm through his belly, settling into a comfortable weight as he lolls back on his elbows. Overhead, the sky is heavy with clouds, dragging their wraithlike greys across the stars. “Can you do it with a golden core?” Jiang Cheng asks. “I mean, I know Wen Ruohan did but it’s — yours is different, isn’t it?” He’s had more to drink than Wei Wuxian and is in that soft stage of tipsiness where he is affectionate and curious in a way that would mortify him sober. Wei Wuxian smiles a little and pats his head where it’s propped on his stomach. An overwhelming rush of fondness floods him, sends him swaying even as the dock stays firm beneath him. “I think so,” he says slowly. “I mean, I think it’s different. It’s not like I have his notes — do you think he took notes? Or someone else in Nightless City? Maybe one of his scribes or assistants. That would be interesting to read — but I think…I think he was just using the power the yin iron had. Not calling up resentment on its own.” He pauses, tilting his head to one side as he rolls the neck of the bottle in his hand. He’s thought plenty about this new cultivation style, of course. Those three months were full of experimentation, desperate attempts to find something, anything, that would work, would let him survive, let him claw his bloody way out of death and get revenge. Still, he’s always thought best when it was aloud, when he could bounce ideas off someone else, and there’s been no one he could do that with for this. “It’s sort of like — eh hm,” he hums, tapping the mouth of the bottle on his chin. “Like channeling qi through your meridians but if your golden core were — everywhere. Like the air! Like you draw the air in and it cycles through and gives you voice.” Jiang Cheng groans and shifts enough to glare sideways at Wei Wuxian. “If you start composing poetry about demonic cultivation, I’m going to throw you in the lake,” he threatens. Laughing, Wei Wuxian waves him off. He settles back, drawing in a long breath of the chilled night air. It washes off the lake’s surface like a gentle tide and recedes. “Anyway,” he says after a moment, “I think you could do it with a golden core but it would hurt a lot more. As if you’re trying to purify the energy even as you try to use it.” Grunting quietly in acknowledgment, Jiang Cheng laces his fingers together over his dantian, frowning up at the night sky. Wei Wuxian leans his head back as well, and they settle into quiet. Air isn’t an apt metaphor for resentment, really. It’s too passive, too limited. Resentment is like tapping into the veins of the universe itself, like drawing blood from a giant’s artery with a heart that can never run dry. Like leaching black from the night sky: there’s no limit, or if there is, it’s so vast that you would be consumed by it before you could ever use it up. Since the end of the war, he’s been careful with how he uses it. They don’t need walking corpses in peacetime, and he knows, as much as he will never admit it to Lan Wangji, that he overextended himself before. He hadn’t really had a choice — not when it came to repairing the damage of his first fall and not when it came to ending the war — but, well, he has a choice now. So he’s trying to be better. For shijie and Jiang Cheng at least. Except for what’s stitching his body together, splints that have become permanent around his shattered bones, he doesn’t hold onto it. He doesn’t let it pool heavy and dark under his skin. He only calls up what he needs and then lets it slip away like water from his hands. “Hey Jiang Cheng,” he says, face still tilted up to the sky, “if I lost control, you’d stop me, right?” He makes sure to ask casually, like he’s only thinking of it now. Jiang Cheng stiffens, tensing up where his shoulders touch Wei Wuxian’s side. He sits up jerkily, turning to Wei Wuxian. Even tipsy, slipping into drunk, his face is hard and angry. Wei Wuxian gives him a lighthearted grin, and his jaw clenches. “What are you talking about?” he demands. “You said you can control it. You’ve been controlling it all this time, haven’t you? What are you talking about, ‘stop you’?” Sitting up, Wei Wuxian waves his hands to clear it away. “Nothing, nothing!” he says. “You’re right, I can control it. It’s fine. Forget I said anything.” Jiang Cheng stares at him, hands fisted up against his lap. He’s twisted slightly to meet Wei Wuxian’s eyes, and his own are dark with — with fear and something almost like hurt. Guilt turns the wine in his belly, sours it. He looks away. He shouldn’t have said anything. He’s kept it all locked in so well these past few years. Jiang Cheng has enough on his shoulders with rebuilding the sect and now figuring out how to help Wei Wuxian and keep old Jin Guangshan from taking over under the guise of getting the Stygian Tiger Seal. He doesn’t need to worry about this. He turns back to Jiang Cheng and leans forward to knock their shoulders together with a grin. “Hey, a-Cheng, why’re you asking anyway? Are you going to pick up demonic cultivation on the side, too?” he teases. “No, shut up,” Jiang Cheng says, but he shoves back absently, like he didn’t have to think about whether or not he was pushing too hard. “I was just — thinking. I mean, if it’s safe enough to teach some of the older disciples some. Gusu Lan has their musical cultivation and Qinghe Nie has their sabers so why couldn’t Yunmeng Jiang have your demonic cultivation?” Wei Wuxian wrinkles his nose to give himself a little time to swallow down the sudden tangle in his throat. It’s not fair for Jiang Cheng to be so sincere like this, not giving him any warning. He’s supposed to throw in at least a punch or something to keep it balanced. “Think we’d have to figure out a different name than ‘demonic’ cultivation,” he says as a distraction. “Resentment cultivation?” Jiang Cheng offers. He frowns. “Yin cultivation?” Breathing out a laugh, Wei Wuxian shakes his head and lifts the bottle for a drink. The problem isn’t really the name, though he has a feeling Nie Huaisang could offer suggestions. It’s that he doesn’t know how safe or dangerous this path is. He’s been using it for years now, sure, but it’s still a quarter of the time he had to use and understand spiritual cultivation. And he jumped in the deep end, going straight to massive amounts of lethal spells and summonings. If someone started shallow and gradually built up to bigger challenges as they strengthened their control and capability, it might be safe. If they weren’t trying to drag their body back from the dead while fighting off the resentment of a millennia-old mass grave, it might not leave permanent scars. Or it could be that Lan Wangji is right, that old Lan Qiren was right all those years ago, and there’s no safe way to channel resentment. It could curdle their golden cores or destroy their souls or take control of them and turn all the disciples into demons. “We can think about it,” he suggests, a little reluctant. “Maybe just start with the talismans, though. And the defenses.” He has some ideas he scribbled out during the war, on some of the nights when sleep shied away. At the time, he’d been thinking about how to protect their camps and some of the villages that were too small to have many cultivators around. Those were all based in his own blood, but he’ll need to figure out something more permanent for Lotus Pier. He won’t always be here, after all. He won’t let their home fall just because he’s died. Nudging Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, he heaves them both up to their feet. Jiang Cheng sways a little and Wei Wuxian loops his arm around his shoulders. It’s nice, to be able to do this again. He missed it, as much as he wouldn’t let himself miss it, during the war. “Come on,” he says, “you’re going to be even crankier dealing with your advisors tomorrow if you’re tired on top of a hangover.” “Your fault,” Jiang Cheng mumbles, but he leans back into Wei Wuxian and they walk along the dock in swaying tandem. Wei Wuxian drinks in the cool night air and thinks maybe. Thinks maybe hope isn’t a mistake this time.

December 14: 1x28 The City on the Edge of Forever (Also I’m 32)

For my birthday, I watched an ep of Star Trek, because I can. It was very good and I enjoyed watching but now I’m starting to get some pretty bad evening anxiety, so!! I’m going to try to ignore that.

Here are some thoughts:

I love this wavy camera work. Space turbulence.

I recognize that this intro really doesn’t have anything to do with anything but it’s still really, like, sudden--weird time things are happening and the ship keeps shaking!

Sulu’s looking damn good today. (I say this in every ep with a closeup of Sulu.)

That was a real rookie mistake on McCoy’s part there, stabbing himself with the hypo. (Harlan Ellison voice lol.) (Still better than the original script.)

“They’ll never catch me!”

Sulu and Spock have been trading eye shadow secrets obviously. It’s a real shame that the AOS movies didn’t give people awesome makeup. I mean heck if you couldn’t force yourself to give men obvious makeup (the horror!) you could have at least done something cool with Token Girl Uhura.

Kirk sounds very formal today. Idk why, but his tone is just slightly different--calling Scotty “Engineer” and something about his log... Probably just me being weird or an effect of there being so many writers on this thing.

Damn, McCoy was almost as good as Spock, the way he knocked that guy out so efficiently.

I’m pretty sure this is Uhura’s first landing party. And she barely gets to do anything because this is the Kirk and Spock Show today.

“Unbelievable.” / “That’s funny.” Is it though?

Legit laughed out loud when Bones popped up from behind that rock, right after Uhura said he wasn’t there.

I don’t think Spock likes the Guardian. “Primitive science knowledge? Excuse you, Sir.”

The Guardian really is just like hand-wave-y sci fi lol. Uh it’s really old and really advanced so it can’t really explain itself, the point is, time travel!!!! I mean I don’t hate it but still.

Kirk is very quick to want to play with time. A little vacation away from his usual work. Getting to satisfy his curiosity and be his nerdy self and learn things. Can you even imagine TOS Kirk in AOS???

Love the dramatic moments: Kirk looking very suddenly when the Guardian says “Behold.” Jumping into the sand as he fails to catch McCoy.

Kirk’s biggest fantasy--a vacation that’s also exploration--turns into his greatest nightmare--loneliness.

“No star date” Can you even imagine Starfleet HQ getting this? “Whoops we just destroyed literally everything. Don’t worry, we’ve probably fixed it if you’re reading this.”

History nerd Kirk. Correctly identifying the Great Depression. If Spock thinks THIS is barbaric, what would he think about today?

“I’m going to be difficult to explain in any case.” Truly, only Kirk, and his love goggles, would choose the ONE alien in his crew to take with him on the first expedition into the past. This was completely foreseeable guys.

Spock’s like “That’s a cool car. Let me examine it now. In the middle of the street. While people yell at me.”

This ep starts out so dramatic and now all of a sudden it’s a comedy, right down to the music. (Again, a sign of how many writers had their hands in this.)

“I’m going to like this century. Simpler, easier to manage.” LOL.

“You’re a police officer. I recognize the traditional accoutrements.” Spock is having such a good time watching this.

Really relying on American racism to explain the alien, huh? “I know you don’t know what Asians look like so.... he’s Chinese.”

“I double dog dare you to put together a computer, Mr. Spock.” Effective.

Put on the hat, the hat!!!!

Starfleet’s greatest Captain couldn’t come up with a fast fake name for Spock.

Kirk looks good in this outfit. Actually the outfits in general are great.

Honestly what does Edith think of these weirdos?

Kirk hears trash talk: “Shut up. SHUT UP.” No talking badly about women in THIS house.

She should have been living in our time. I wonder if she always thought space was cool or if Kirk (and uh literal actual alien Spock) inspired her.

Spock’s eye roll at “I find her most uncommon.”

Kirk definitely did manual labor in high school.

Spock really is building a whole-ass computer.

“I’ve brought you vegetables? What else do you want??” Is this the first reference to him being a vegetarian?

And there was only one bed...

Edith’s reaction to Spock’s sass is hilarious. She’s really not confused by him at all.

When Spock’s straightforward, honest answers about why he stole the tools don’t work, Kirk steps in with the charm offensive.

“By his side, as if you’ve always been there and always will” is basically the toast at their wedding.

Favorite thing about Edith remains that she meets an actual alien and says eh, not so weird, and then looks at the Iowa Farm Boy and is like ????????? does not compute.

“Why don’t you want to talk about the war? Are you a war criminal?”

I feel like Kirk gets a weird kick out of saying he and Spock “served together.” And like it’s literally the truth? But he has this little smile like he’s getting away with a cool lie.

Only about 10 years until we get the cool alien book about love!

Spock bringing out the big guns with today’s requisite “Jim.”

Imagine meeting McCoy like this: weird-ass uniform, rambling and paranoid. Thinks he’s met a humanoid alien. Getting so upset about 20th century hospitals he starts crying and rolling on the ground. He’s so empathetic. I love him.

What a way to go, killing yourself accidentally with a future weapon you steal from a 23rd century time traveler you mistake for a drunk.

Bones is so good at not being seen. That’s straight up comedy how he just passes by behind Spock. There are really weird, random comedy elements in this.

“She was right but at the wrong time.”

Kirk’s in love with Edith... I mean he’s not lol but that IS what a romantic such as him would say.

“I’m a surgeon, not a psychiatrist,” says the man who testified as a psychiatrist at a court martial in a previous episode.

How convenient that U.S.S. is an abbreviation she’d recognize.

“I don’t believe in YOU.”

I know this isn’t actually true, but it feels like Spock literally just came out of the room to be jealous while Kirk and Edith kiss.

Spock’s lesson “do[ing] as your heart tells you to do” is wrong.

So McCoy just got over it, I guess. Kirk was all ready to manipulate time to stop the accident but all they needed to do was find him, catch him, and sedate him a while I guess.

“My young man.” So cute.

The reunion hug with McCoy is adorable. I watched it 4 times.

Yet another Kirk vacation fantasy foiled.

No final talk on the bridge... Very dramatic and sad.

This IS a really good episode but I just still can’t get behind calling it the BEST Star Trek episode. To me, it doesn’t feel enough like Star Trek to be the best. It’s a really great story, and it’s entertaining to watch, but it’s not representative. Too few of the crew--not even really that sci-fi-ish at the end of the day. Like I said, the Guardian is really generic and ill-explained, just a prop for the main story. And while that main story is obviously all about time travel and the effects of time travel, even THAT is incidental to the real point, which is the moral question: save one or save many? But it’s not even a conundrum, like in TWOK/TSFS,because there is no real choice. Obviously Kirk is going to let Edith die. To do otherwise wouldn’t just damn many more people in the 20th century to death, it would damn his crew and his ship and, in a way, himself. So it’s more like, well, inevitably, she will die, and he will let her, but it will be really sad. So the point is just this tragic, doomed love story. Which is not a bad story in any sense, but it’s not what one generally primarily associates with TOS.

I’m not sure this is making sense because I’m just working out my thoughts as I type.

I do think there’s some interesting stuff here: I think one could do a lot with what this ep does for Spock’s development, since we don’t hear too much from him but he’s pretty intimately involved in all this. And the lessons it’s teaching him about feelings and vulnerability are...not great.

Also Uhura saying “at least be happy” in the beginning ties in interestingly to the rest of the narrative--he could have chosen his happiness, in a way, at least fleetingly. Perhaps it would have been more interesting if Kirk had ever really considered letting Edith live--but then, would he be Kirk if he ever considered it, seriously, out loud? Am I being dense by thinking the narrative should have said this in so many words, when it’s obvious enough as is?

I’m also not totally sure about the... message. I’d prefer to say there isn’t one, honestly, because of the way the conundrum is set up: as a non-conundrum. Because, obviously America should have entered WWII; if ever there was a war that was worth fighting, this would be it. Hence there’s no need to really interrogate whether or not Edith’s death was right. There’s no way it was not right. There’s no complication there, allowing the story to focus on the tragedy of Kirk’s inevitable decision instead. It could have been a different story, about weighing the pros and cons. And then possibly also a story with a moral lesson attached to the decision Kirk makes: about the many versus the few, for example, or about war specifically, since obviously this is airing with Vietnam as a background.

It could also have been a story about fate. Obviously, McCoy can and does change time. But you have all 3 of them ending up at the same place/time, right near this Big Event. You have the almost-fall on the stairs, implying death is out for Edith. You have the total set of circumstances around her death: as it actually plays out, she’s only there BECAUSE of Kirk and Spock. Were they always there? Does she get killed in a slightly different circumstance in timelines without them? The way the story plays out, all of these details seem so beside the point--again, the story uses time travel but isn’t really ABOUT time travel; it uses sci fi tools but is not telling a sci fi story--so it’s not even really worth interrogating.

(Other than just now, when I did.)

I think it’s pretty obvious that a lot of people had their hands in this story: Kirk’s very IC romantic nature is first and foremost and I like seeing this part of him, but the Command part is kind of hidden; there are moments of tragedy, in the traditional sense of the word, but also other parts that feel like Tomorrow Is Yesterday in terms of the style of comedy; the sci fi stuff is really random.

None of this is really criticism, just thoughts. It’s definitely a really interesting episode.

Next is the FINAL EPISODE of S1, which is RIDICULOUS imo. I’m fairly sure Operation Annihilate was one of the first TOS episodes I saw. I have a real soft spot for it so I’m looking forward to watching.

What I’m Up To

Taking a brief pause from my fantasy screenplay to talk a bit about what I’m playing/reading/listening to these days.

VIDYA GAMES

Cities: Skylines- Still working on my shithole city in all its glory. San Cruz has expanded to over 100k residents and in the past week I’ve built a level 3 park, extensive monorail system, and even extensive helicopter pickup lines. It’s still a terrible place to live, but it’s also fun to grapple with the challenges of a desert map. 

Yakuza 0- I’m gonna post this take here, since we’re not on twitter and I’m safe from the mobs- Yakuza 0 is the experience everyone promised me Witcher 3 would be. Thrilling combat, a fascinating game world, and lovely, meaningful side quests. If this sounds like I’m digging at Witcher 3, I promise I’m not. I personally didn’t enjoy that game. But obviously, many, many people did and would disagree with my critiques. That’s totally fine! I’m just saying I’m enjoying Yakuza 0 for merits similar to what I’ve heard in connection with the Witcher franchise- and I could also see people having similar gripes, too! I’ve been on a well documented single player drought over the past couple months. Yakuza 0 finally broke me out of that, and it’s been a thrill. Getting out of the COD grind cycle has been a joy. This is a lovely experience that rewards curiosity by sparking yet more curiosity. I can’t wait to see how it continues to open up. Expect my Twitter account to go on about this for a while.

Mario 64- I have 8 stars! I’m told I have like, 113 more to go, a number which makes me groan.  So far, Mario 64 has felt like an obligation that is occasionally fun. It’s very dated, but it has the DNA that would go on to make later games like Odyssey an absolute joy.  Games like these feel more like an exercise in filling in my gamer history gaps than they do labors of love. Like most retro games, I have a hard time getting into Mario 64 for longer than 20 minutes at a time. So this will likely be a long-running project.

Star Wars: Squadrons- I probably should have known better, but I picked this game up ‘cuz the reviews were decent and the price felt right. Good news is that in the couple of hours I’ve spent with it, the gameplay is mostly solid and the graphics are beautifully rendered. It feels like both Rogue Squadron AND X-Wing, which is a hell of an accomplishment. Bad news is several of the missions appear to be badly broken, requiring numerous restarts. The game is generous with checkpoints, so it’s not a huge deal, but it is annoying. Hopefully they patch that stuff. I also haven’t tried multiplayer yet. None of my friends have bit on picking this up, so I’m not sure when or if it will happen. Assuming I can power through the hammy story, I’ll at least finish the campaign sometime down the line, even if I can’t be bothered to care how any of this fits into the larger world of Star Wars.

Warzone- Still doing that Season 6 thing! Subways have been mostly a disappointment for me so far, and the new marksman rifle has made the current meta a veritable hell for anyone with underdeveloped quick scoping skills, but I still get a couple matches in every day.

ANIME

God of High School- To say God of High School moves fast is an understatement. True to form, it sprinted its way through the finale. It’s got some lovely sequences, and I can’t wait to get my hands on the OST, but beyond a couple of choice battles, it didn’t leave a strong impression on me. I’m glad I saw it, but I’m not thirsting for a new season.

Dragon Ball- I switched over to the English dub of this show. I don’t usually do that, but I was struggling to keep my attention. I think in a way it helped? The English dub actors are far more cartoonish and silly, which really plays to the absurd animation and story turns. I’m on S1E13, and the first summoning of the dragon just happened. I won’t spoil except to say...this show has a deeply specific sense of humor, and I’m starting to dig it?

Fire Force- Season 2 is finally taking off for me. I’m on ep 14, and the focus has shifted over to the mysterious Joker. The battles have been compelling, as have been the mysteries placed by his storyline. I was struggling with feeling invested in S2 thus far, but the past few ep’s have reminded me of why I found this show special in the first place- when it gets serious and stays focused, it’s one of the tightest active shonen stories.

Manga

I’ve been on a bit of a manga break lately. Today I did take time with another chapter of Fruits Basket, which continues to be a lovely delight. I also recently received Master Edition copies of both Fairy Tail and Berserk. This week, my goal is to finish both Fruits Basket and my latest volumes of One Piece so I can dive into my new Master Editions.

Music

I haven’t had much change in my music tastes lately. I’ve been listening to a lot of Kompany and other dubstep artists, mostly ‘cuz I find the deep bass and variety of sounds soothing to me while I’m writing and zoning out during sessions of Cities: Skylines. I also enjoy its tempo while I’m running. Anything that helps the time pass, really.

Tabletop Games

I played 6 hours of DND this weekend. It was mostly a free-form improv session where I let the players do basically anything they wanted to within the gameworld we established during The Lost Mines of Phandelver. It was very heavy on roleplay, without a single instance of combat. While I was personally exhausted after the session, the players expressed that they had a very good time. We’ll be looking to finish up what they started in a bonus session for October!

Wrastlin!

My WWF Discord group just finished 1999 King of the Ring. Mr. Ass won! One of our folks actually got her bracket right. I had predicted Kane winning, so I was obviously out of luck on that. In the last RAW, Stone Cold Steve Austin just won the Heavy Weight Title from the Undertaker in an unlikely win! We’ll see how long that stint lasts...

Streams

I tried streaming from my personal Twitch using a schedule last week!

It...had mixed results.

My Warzone streams were my most popular, which is funny, ‘cuz I’m not that good at Warzone. My least popular were my Dungeon of the Endless and Yakuza 0 streams, which is not a big surprise. Those games aren’t that fun to watch.

I wanted to do the schedule as a an attempt to see if I could get a small audience or find some new meaning in games I was working through by presenting them as content.

I found the answer to both was more or less “not really”.

And that’s okay!

I also learned streaming, even just for an hour a night, is hard work. We should all be kinder to our content creators and in awe of the friends we have who do it even when on one is watching. Content creation is so unforgiving. Maybe if I stuck with it longer I’d have found my niche, but honestly, I just enjoy games for the games, and turning them into content just isn’t my speed. 

I’ve been doing the whole SpriteClub thing per usual. I’m a paid subscriber now! And I even am on a greeting basis with some folks. That’s been really cool. We had debuts this weekend too, where creators submit new fighters. The system matches them with other fighters to determine ratings. It’s a lot of fun, and the event always has this festival atmosphere to it. 

I’ve also been watching a lot of streams from the gals over at hololive-EN. Specifically, I’ve been watching Gawr Gura, Amelia Watson and Mori Calliope. It’s become nightly viewing in my household. I’ll save the debate on V-Tubers for a different place, suffice to say I have enjoyed the games they’ve presented and the personalities they’ve developed, and I think the success they’ve found is well earned. There are some talented folks behind these projects, and I find the streams to be relaxing, enjoyable, and at hours I can actually tune in for.

Personal News

Lately, I’ve been feeling pretty down. This can be easily correlated with the shift in temperature, for sure. I know a lot of people really dig fall, and I used to be a SPOOKY SEASON guy myself, but as I get older, fall has shifted into this period of mourning as I recognize the shortening days and the coming winter, which has always played hell with my body.

I’ve been struggling with a number of phantom symptoms that seem to pop up this time of year- bad digestion, terrible sleep (likely resulting from mild apnea), fatigue and heart palpitations. In turn, my mental health has been seriously flagging. 

At the suggestion of my therapist, I’ve started up a new vitamin regimen including a multivitamin and magnesium. I’ve also focused on finding potassium enriched foods and have cut back significantly on my drinking and caffeine. So far, this has actually resulted in me gaining weight ‘cuz I’ve been indulging in a lot of sugar as a coping mechanism, but I’m working through getting back to a healthy place where I can both track my intake but also be content with where I’m at. Right now I’m doing my best to try and fight the urge to become a Nap Guy. 

Last week I took several naps, even on my off days, and I’ve had a hard time sustaining my energy throughout the day, so I’m doing a better job of getting the sleep my body asks for while also structuring my day with more purpose so I’m left with less time just lying around wondering what to do.

Last week I broke my personal best for a 5K, breaking 24 minutes. For today’s run, I plan to try and break my 7:30 time on my mile run to the gym. 

For weights, I’ve gotten into a rhythm of 3 times a week, with Mondays and Fridays focusing on my core exercises- presses and curls, with Wednesdays focusing on pulls that are centered on working out my back, as well as bodyweight exercises such as dips and pull ups. This variation has given my limbs more time to heal up, which is welcome. Now if only I could be kinder to my body AFTER the gym, I might see some actual progress!

Work continues to be what it is. I’m at 30 hours now, which continues to be a huge positive. I don’t think I could keep at it with 40 hours. Change is a constant, and they seem to find new ways to make our jobs more convoluted every day. I have a quarterly review coming up with my new supervisor, but I have a feeling it won’t be nearly so traumatic as the last one, as I’ve done a good job of straightening up and flying right.

As I get more distance from August, I’m starting to recognize it- the events of my workplace disasters, my unplanned vacation, my off the rails spending and drinking- for what it was- it was a breakdown. And I’m still recovering from it. I was deeply unwell, and I took on some trauma- some of it wasn’t stuff I was looking for, some of it was stuff I brought on myself. I’m working through it. I wish I could say things like therapy have made a huge difference, but frankly, most of the work comes from stuff like this, where I’m just writing and being transparent with myself. That’s where I find the most healing work happens.

I still have a lot of my social media muted. When I need news, it typically filters through into my Discord, or Yahoo dings my phone or I see it on my Facebook feed. It’s fair to say that lately it’s felt like everything just Happens So Much.

I feel for my friends who are directly impacted- by the election, by the supreme court, by...just, everything. It all makes my own personal journey and endeavors feel...deeply small. At the same time, I just don’t have the emotional capacity required to house this perpetual crowd of events or constantly process everything in real time. I’m not sure when, if ever, I will have that again. I struggle to read ANYTHING- even friendly sites like Defector or The Discourse, without feeling an immense downswing.

I don’t know what the answer is. I wish I could just gut up and stay constantly plugged in for the sake of pals who might need to openly hash this out or draw attention to their causes or needs, but based on the past few months, I’m not sure I can take care of myself, let alone others. As I often tell close friends, my priorities these days are this small and in this order- Stay Healthy, Stay Kind, Stay Employed, Stay Productive- anything that goes right beyond that feels like a bonus in 2020.

At any rate, thanks for reading the update, y’all!

I’ll try and post these more regularly. I just wanted to check in with everyone and let y’all know how everything is going these days. Stuff like this helps me keep honest, as lately I’ve had a hard time sussing out what my direction is these days. Stay safe and well, and hit me up with what you’re up to, when you find a moment!

Hi! I’ve been recently thinking about getting into Star Wars... but uh..... there’s a Lot of content in this fandom I have absolutely no idea where to start.... talking to my friends who like it has caused them to give me Wildly different orders to watch the movies in and even those change every time I ask (there?? Are different orders? And it still makes sense?).. I’ve noticed you posting some Star Wars content?? I’m so so confused😂 if it’s no trouble, would you mind telling me where to start?

Hello anon!!! You’re right, there is a lot of content in SW, but it’s not as complicated as some might make you believe. Don’t worry, I’m gonna explain it to you!

What makes SW a little confusing is that the movies were not released in the chronological order of what actually happens in the SW universe. You have 3 trilogies, that form the main story for Star Wars. If they are linked, and talk about the same characters (or families), they are also kind of independent from one another. So it doesn’t exactly matter in which order you watch them, you will still understand who is the bad guy, who is the good guy, and what is going on.

The first 3 movies were released in the 70s/80s (the original trilogy). Then the Prequels were released in the late 90s/ early 2000s (they are about the generation that came before the lead characters in the original trilogy). And finally we’ve just finished the Sequels last year (this trilogy is about the generation following the one in the original films). This is why, if you google SW, you find a very confusing order of movies, with Episodes 4, 5 and 6 (Originalsà released before 1,  2 and 3 (the Prequels)!

These three trilogies are the main story for Star Wars. There are other movies and TV shows that were made to explain certain points of the story or give background to characters. In total, it makes a lot of content, and you’re not gonna get into that before you’ve already become a SW fan (except for one movie, because it is actually the best SW movie ever made, but I will come back to that in a moment).

Basically, you have two choices. You can either Watch the three trilogies in the order they came out or by chronological order in terms of timeline in the SW universe. 

If you want to watch the movies in the order they came out, you’ll then Watch the movies in a similar way as you would have if you were waiting for their release in theater. I would advise you to focus on the 3 trilogies and then make your way through the other films if you do that. If you want to do that, you have to Watch the movies in that order :

- Original trilogy, which means SW Episodes 4, 5, and 6

-Prequels which means SW Episodes 1, 2 and then 3

-Sequels which corresponds to episodes 7,8 and 9.

The advantage of this method is that the original movies are brilliant. I for one watched the movies in that order, because my parents showed me the original movies when I was little, the Prequels finished to be released when I was a kid and I went to see Episode 3 in theatre, and I obviously watched the Sequels as they came out. I think the original movies are great to kind of fall in love with the whole thing. The Prequels don't have such a strong reputation in terms of quality, although, I like them (I think Episode 2 is not very good, but the first one was alright, and the third is great!!). They’re not terrible, but I will completely admit that, even if I love them, in terms of pure cinema quality, eps 4, 5 and 6 are better. They’re also super famous, so you should Watch at least these three for your general knowledge of cinema, cause they were groundbreaking at the time.

But the thing is, for you, who are about to start your Journey in the SW universe, all the main movies have been released! So you can Watch them in the chronological order of what actually happens in the SW universe! Which seems to me quite great too, cause then you have the logical development of the story, instead of following one generation, then jumping back to the generation before, and finally going to the next generation of characters. Let’s be honest, the 9 main movies are not complicated enough for you to get lost if you Watch them in the first way I’ve described before, but it’s still nice to follow a story from its origin to its end. Personally, now, when I do a SW marathon, I Watch the movies in chronological order. And I think it’s a great way to discover SW too.

And if you do choose to do that, I would advise you to add one movie into the mix. It’s called Rogue One, and it is my favourite SW movie of all time. And it binds together the Prequels and the Original trilogy. You don't have to watch it, if you want you can just do Prequels, Original, Sequels, but I really love that movie, and the end of the movie is basically the beginning of the Original trilogy, so it’s so nice when you watch both Rogue One and Episode 4 in a row. It really explains what happens in Ep. 4, so if you go for the chronological order, I reckon it’s worth it. And it’s such a good movie. So, it’s a bit of a bonus, but if you watch the Prequels and kind of like SW, then my advice would be to add Rogue One.

So, if you want to watch the movies in a chronological order, you have to watch:

- The Prequels which means Episodes 1, 2 and 3

-Rogue One

-The Originals so Episodes 4, 5 and 6

-The Sequels which correspond to episodes 7, 8 and 9.

These are the two choices you have to start SW. I cannot tell you which one to choose, I reckon it depends on how you want to experience the whole thing. Would you prefer to watch the movies as if you were watching them in theatre as they were released? Or would you prefer to watch the story unfolds in a chronological order? That is your decision, and I don’ t think there is a way that is better than the other.

If you have any more questions about SW (or anything else), don't hesitate to drop by again, anon :) Also, I would love to know what you decided and to know if you like what you see when you watch the movies, so don't hesitate to tell me!!

Also, if you enjoy all these movies (or at least most of them, because even I didn’t like all of them), and you want to dig a little deeper in that universe, here again, don't hesitate to come back and ask me, I’ve watched everything there is to watch with SW :)

I hope this was useful, have a lovely day/evening anon!!

so i saw the star war

spoilers ahoy

i guess this is just gonna be random bullet points

* i actually feel pretty chill about it. yay for being spoiled. also like.... if you ignore the ridiculous stuff there’s actually a lot to have fun with in this one. i don’t know how i’ll feel about it once i’ve processed it more. i just know i had fun while watching it, which i know isn’t true for everybody. i totally understand the negativity - it all makes sense to me. i’m just glad i sort of.... FORCED myself to have enough distance to just go in like ‘i’M PrepArED fOr wHAtEveR’

*i did like all the jumping around between locations in the first half and how ben would show up everywhere rey was. what a ‘you’re everywhere i go’ pairing. /chef’s kiss/. also having the different locations gives a sense of spaciousness (even if it’s all happening over a short period of time) which i missed in tlj.

*one of the things that gave me the most joy as the hux thing ??? X’’’D it was EXACTLY like that ‘the farce awakens’ ep where hux LITERALLY JOINS THE RESISTANCE cuz he can’t stand kylo. like what kind of fanfic...... how do the hux fans out there feel? (i really love the hux fans they’re a great bunch XD). shame that he was gone right after though.

* i actually enjoyed the trio dynamic? like i get the desire to move away from ‘trio mentality’ but the rey/poe tension with finn as mediator was fun. and finn and poe as joint generals? adorable. shame that the whole finn/poe thing got a bit clouded by.... stormpilot baiting and rose erasure and all the things... Also i’m not anti any character - i like zorii - but.... let poe stay a gay icon? i guess he can still be a queer icon it’s all good i’m down for whatever.

*speaking of finn.... loved seeing more of his humour back. didn’t love that there was no unpacking of how he feels taking out stormtroopers. but loved the found family of jannah and the other ex-stormtroopers. i feel like that gave SOME resolution/depth to finn’s origins. and finn being a non force user but seemingly super attuned to the force and its ways? i can roll with that.

*more speaking of finn... i wonder what they were doing with the ‘thing he wants to tell rey that he never gets to tell rey’. seems like an obvious ‘i love you’ thing. but at the same time we got reylo (/basks in that for a second/). it feels to me like throwing a bone to the finnrey people? like they didn’t get it in this movie but it could be a thing in the future? regaurdless, i did like how finn and rey were very connected and back to that loving friendship they had in tfa. we never quite got the ‘you have a force bond with the supreme leader?!!’ conversation but we got.... SOME conversation.

* speaking of the supreme leader... kinda love that we got renperor AND ben solo TM. i prefer to view ben more holistically (he is both ‘ben’ and ‘kylo’) but i get that making them two distinct identities was a helpful shortcut of sorts. he could ‘kill’ kylo and switch to being ben in a single scene. i always prefer Soft Boi Ben but if we were gonna get Bad Boy Kylo i’m glad they established it right out the gate. it was like ok, this is what to expect; this is where we’re at with this character. 

*ben with his costume change at the end....... omg. gave me BIG smuggler!Ben vibes. urgh, give me all the AUs. ben deserves more.

*the amount of swagger when he was fighting the KOR

*idk i feel like i’m not even touching on the big stuff. this was just a ‘get all my side thoughts out of my system’ post.

*adam’s smile after the kiss though......... ...  /the most beautiful thing in this world/

*truly iconic that people were right about the strategic, covert introduction of force healing via baby yoda like one month before tros.

*oh yeah it was wILD that so much of the imagery from the trailers/tv spots etc was in like the first five mintues of the movie ??? i totally assumed the ‘i have been every voice you’ve ever heard inside your head’ moment would be climactic rather than right up front

*oh yeah the vader mask.... that didn’t really mean anything in the end then did it?

* re: ben’s death. maybe it’s because i was braced for it but in some ways it’s the best way he could have gone. he was definitely happy and reunited with the light - both through love of rey and of his family. hIGHKey could have done with ben’s force ghost also appearing at the end? the only good thing about not seeing it is.... LF deciding to retcon his death ? ??XD obs they’re not gonna but if you want a crackpot silver lining there it is.

*what exactly does rey’s future look like, may i ask?

* oh yeah, Passing The Saber Through The Force. maybe my favourite moment. the force bond as a bare concept is so romantic to me i would watch a whole trilogy just exploring the magic system of that - it’s limitations and possibilities. 

* i do like that jj developed the visual style of the bond. we got to see them occupying the same space, the way each of them would be seeing the other (’can you see my surroundings, i can’t see yours, just you’)

*i miss that rian johnson sound editing on the bond though..... god, the iNTIMACY of the tlj bond scenes....

*’i DID want to take your hand’

*also just the word choice of ‘take your hand’/ ‘i offered you my hand’. it’s extremely marriage.

*there was also a moment in the hanger when ben was like ‘we’re one’ basically? he was saying it in the context of rey’s lineage but still...............the validation. one soul. 

*palps was like ‘you live and die together’ which made me REALLY think of skytalkers podcast. obviously assumed they would both have to LIVE together but.... /deep sigh/

*blah this could go on forever i’ll add more later

edit #1:

* OH YEAH! reverse anidala was such a thing! why did it have to be SO reverse anidala though? X’D instead of taking her life, he gives her his own. (i know it’s not clear anakin totally killed padme etc etc but ya feel me)

* ok i hate that ben died obvs obvs but, taking that for what it is, it was very romeo and juliet. i kinda love just the imagery of it. like... the physical blocking/choreography of adam getting daisy into his arms, holding her, then he falls and it’s her holding him. the way she catches his neck. really reminded me of the smoothness of the bridal carry. and rey’s flexed foot in that moment of shock. love the body language. back to that kind of ‘’staccato’’ rey of tfa days.

edit #2:

*lololol @ LF trying to establish how ‘bad’ kylo is by having him kill a bunch of people in the beginning. it was just.... Hot.

edit #3:

* rose deserves better. obviously. she looked so good though. i like that she had some moments with connix too. 

* ben called han ‘dad’......

*ben standing there, overlooking the waves, with his leG EXTENDED BEFORE HIM. wanderer above a sea of fog. wanderer above a sea of foggg.

* rey having compassion for the snake thing. we been knew. kinda nice to have it in there. obviously good set up for ~later force healing shenanigans~

* OH YEAH OH YEAH. i kept thinking about atla. i know people have been making comparisons to it from the start and i’ve been DEEPLY INTO those comparisons. but it was truly a blessing for me to remember.... there is a version of this out there that you love and that is Good Content TM. legit i can just go watch atla again to heal from this. omg yeah cuz REY HEALING HIS WOUND ALSO HEALED HIS SCAR. very crystal cave.......... nah but nah but - the ‘you are every jedi’ was EXTREMELY avatar-esk..... like, engage avatar state. i don’t like how it ended up being the same old conflict between jedi and sith - ‘good’ and ‘bad’ - OBVIOUSLY THE POINT IS TO INTEGRATE THE CONFLICTING PARTS OF SELF; THE SHADOW SIDE; TO TRANSCEND OLD DICHOTOMIES - but i did love hearing all the voices from past jedi. that’s some good ‘the ancestors are with you’ shit.

edit #4:

* i think the first thing we hear rey say is ‘be with me’? ngl i was like ‘pls be invoking the force bond’ X’D i am a clown. that was a beautiful shot though. and love that a version of the bond kicked in like two seconds after that. 

edit #5:

*there’s that bit where reylo are fighting on the death star ruins and he’s winning and rey kinda falls to her knees panting and lowkey defeated and, not to be a shallow bitch but..... it was Hot.

*also dark rey......... was HOT. SHE WAS SO KIRA, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS, AND I WAS INTO IT LIKE HNGGGG

*obvs i wanted rey to be truly no one. but casting jodie comer as rey’s mum ? ????? urgh, pefection, i love it.

*palps was so random i stg..... his plan was.... convoluted to say the least. 

*also who was under all those hoods?

*the KOR just kinda... being around again was hilarious. no explaination required. the boys are back in town. ben facing them without a mask and essentially wearing his pjs? loved it. 

edit #6:

*seriously though ben’s redemption outfit.............. /heart eyes emoji into the sunset/.......... you can see his collar bone.............. /cares about the important things/.................

edit #7:

*one thing i loved about the reylo was how Space Wizards TM they both were in this movie. it so highlights their connection by making it clear that they are each other’s only peer. i thought it would be a thing of ‘why is the supreme leader constantly interacting with/going after this girl?’ but it’s not because it’s so clear that they are the only two people on each others’ level. no one would dare question the fact that they’re constantly circling each other in a lustful murderous rage.