Every time I start thinking about money, I get paralized like a deer in the headlights. That's not how people should live :(

All the Maid day stuff reminded me of this sketch lying forever in my drafts

... why he sit like this

so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it

ok I know I'm going to be drowned out as one of many and I don't want to be the guy feeding the public frenzy right now but I want to offer my thoughts on the watchertv situation.

I've been a fan of ryan and shane for almost 6 years. I got into them when I was around 12-13, and now, at 18 years old, they've occupied a fairly significant part of the last third of my life. I feel reasonably confident in saying I've watched everything they've ever made, from buzzfeed and watcher, and when they went out to found watcher, I was abundantly happy to welcome steven into my parasocial love for them. I feel like I've grown up with them, and going off to college next year, it was never a question in my mind that they'd follow with me. I mean, I bought their unsolved book the second it was announced, and I even snagged a ghost files shirt and a professor plush when he was rereleased. I took the professor to the lizzie borden house for my 18th birthday overnight, and wow was that an expense, but I've wanted to go ever since middle school when I stumbled across buzzfeed unsolved for the first time. in short, losing them is like losing a constant presence in my life, a cherished presence, no matter how ridiculously parasocial that makes me sound.

when I heard about watchertv, I was crushed. in the past couple days, I've jumped from betrayal to desperation to grief to bitter anger. but I think I've landed now in a place where those make more sense to me. I agree wholeheartedly with so many commenters on every platform right now. they're just like me, feeling let down and disappointed by the people we've idealized, and gotten used to seeing for free. but I also understand exactly how this idea came about, I know what it's like to feel backed into a corner on something, forced to make a hard choice where it feels like only a radical shift will save you. we as fans were there for the three of them, their dynamic. but their dreams don't match up. they want freedom to make what they want, and they feel passionate about growth to tv quality. that's what they're aspiring to, I do genuinely think that.

I won't sit here and go on about the different takes people have made about steven's masterminding or shane's reluctance. the bitter stuff that's been said feels very harsh. but I can't condemn the people saying things out of anger that aren't targeted. it's ok for them to feel upset. sure, maybe it sucks that it has to come out on a public forum like the internet but it's valid nonetheless. but on their end, that's got to hurt. I hope so dearly that watchertv succeeds, even if it has to change a lot to do that. a subscription service isn't what we want, but it's what they believe will let them make the quality content they want to. that's worth pursuing, and I care about them so much that I want them to go for it.

I hate that I can't follow them into this next chapter. and I'm sure a lot of other people are too, and however they choose to feel that is perfectly ok. but their creative satisfaction and happiness does not depend on me, and it shouldn't be limited by what I can or am willing to do.

anyway my heart goes out to them truly. I'll miss them in college, and probably forever, and hopefully our paths cross again. but even if we don't, I'm happy for the memories I was able to make, I hope every other upset fan feels the same way eventually too :))

the woes are upon me and i know there are bigger priorities in the world atm but if anybody wants to just toss a coin to their little loser and add a character name with it i'll make you some of my geometric ms paint art like this 👍 no pressure

I dont know why but these two make me insane.

I had so many reminders but I almost slept through Leeloo’s grooming appointment this morning. Her fur is long enough to cause her problems and she’s not great at grooming so I’m getting her trimmed to teddy bear length.

I woke up 15 minutes before the appointment and bolted out of bed. I threw on clothes. Didn’t brush my teeth or go to the bathroom or anything.

I got there five minutes late with my bladder pounding but five minutes isn’t so bad.

coming back to moon prince phos cosplay ideas!

trying to find something that has the color palette and vibes of the lunarians but still incorporates costume elements I like to make.

im a horrible salesperson bc i operate with the assumption that everyone else is also chronically broke and struggling financially so i feel really bad upselling shit or telling someone to spend more than like 50 dollars for something. then i get weirded out if they actually are willing and able to spend the money without hesitation. makes me feel like a scammer even tho they most likely are just... not poor lol

I passed my driving test!! 🥳🚘🎉

Can someone explain to me why I feel so guilty about spending my own money. Like it's mine, I earned it, with the job that I work. I can do literally anything I want with it. Yet, all non-neccesary purchases (and some completely necessary ones) are met with instant discomfort.

wizard that makes u nonbinary

hello i'm here again! i saw your tags on the get to know your characters post and i'd love to hear you talk about murdoc!! (also gondolin campaign 😮 tell me more :DDD )

HIHIHIHIHI IM SO HAPPY YOU'RE IN MY INBOX THANK YOU FOR LOVING MY BOY YOU ARE A GIFT OF A PERSON ;w; i assume you don't mind if i answer these for murdoc then :0

What is the character’s go-to drink order? here's the thing: i think if murdoc is ordering, it's ale. just ale. murdoc is an alcohol snob, largely on account of being a hobbit AND specifically on account of his aunt being a brewer (and so therefore clearly HIS family's ale is the best), so it's an opportunity for him to be just a little bit showily snobbish and judgy and more knowledgeable about his choice of drink than the average patron, but it's not quite so personal to him as, say, tea would be. (murdoc never orders tea. from anywhere. he only drinks his own, or radagast's, or that of a few other trusted friends. tea is his craft. it's personal to him. he picks and dries and blends the herbs for his own brews. it's personal long before he even gets to brewing a cup, and there's meaning in just that act in and of itself already.) so, murdoc gets to be an alcohol snob in public, but it's a matter of showing off for fun. he'll scoff at ale from anywhere but his own inn, but he'll still order it and drink it. and enjoy it more than he puts on a show about.

What is their grooming routine? murdoc likes a long bath. murdoc likes to put a lot of effort into wrangling his hair in particular, when he has the time and effort in him for it. alone, at the inn, where he can rest and take breaks and manage things, shaving the back of his neck is very important to him (sensory comfort, and tied in a way to his sense of self). he doesn't like scents or anything of the sort, he just wants to feel... clean. put-together. both in the privacy and comfort of their respective homes, and while out on the road, letting ríros braid his hair for him becomes a very important part of murdoc's grooming routine. on a good day, it's a visible tie to someone he cares deeply for. on a bad day, it's accepting help with his sensory needs and energy levels, and allowing himself to be taken care of by someone he trusts.

What was their most expensive purchase/where does their disposable income go? oh, murdoc's cloak was ABSOLUTELY the most expensive singular thing he's ever purchased. it may not be real dragon scale, sure but. it's a fine fabric, and the faux scales are well crafted and gorgeous. it's luxurious and sturdy and him in every way. an item with presence. which, to the point, i do think murdoc is generally the sort of person who spends his disposable income on fine things to wear. having fun with and taking pride in his appearance is important to him, and he's financially comfortable enough for that bit of luxury.

Do they have any scars or tattoos? aside from the missing hand (extremely notable), and whatever assorted and unspecified scars he's picked up from adventuring? (which. he has. he's come close to dying before. he's got a few marks.) murdoc has a scar across his nose from some absolutely stupid shit he got up to as an utter hellion of a child. i think he probably fell and bashed his face open running to escape getting caught pulling a prank on farmer maggot or something like that. nothing angsty about it, just complete and utter childhood stupidity and rambunctiousness. something visible left on him from a time before he was overly concerned with responsibility, or duty of care, and entertaining his drive for adventure in much less consequential ways. (he’s also very freckled. i think it’s very adorable how much he freckles.)

What was the last time they cried, and under what circumstances? the last time i know for certain that murdoc cried, was after facing irmo. maybe not immediately. maybe much later, on the road home, having spilled the story to his companions and having thoroughly exhausted himself from hanging onto it all. but i'm sure he did cry. from anger at what was done to him, to his dreams, by a power larger than him, without any say of his own in it all. from all his internalization of himself as a weapon finally breaking over, from hearing that perception of himself lovingly rebuffed by the people who care about him. from fully and completely admitting that he's afraid of the person he's made himself in the face of the horrors, but that he would've hated the person he would have been for ignoring them. from exhaustion. from having to question his sense of self yet again. from a lot of things, really. you don't get personally chosen by a god and come away from it quite the same.

Are they an oldest, middle, youngest or only child? oh murdoc is an eldest sibling and it shows. maybe not by actual sibling birth order, but he was adopted by his uncles and aunt as a baby and very much raised as their eldest child. he's got two rascals of younger cousins, raised alongside him, to look out for. they're practically younger siblings from an actual family dynamics standpoint. and besides, he's got all the Eldest Child of being the brandybuck family heir apparent put on him. where else would the responsibility complex and the duty of care complex and the possessiveness over what's his and, most importantly, go-to instinct of sassing the literal servants of sauron have come from? This Man Is An Eldest Child And He Can Do This All Day <3

Describe the shoes they’re wearing. none. Those Feet Are Bare. and hairy. he DOES meticulously wash and brush his foot hair though. but listen. he's a hobbit. he's not FROM a culture that does shoes, and the one (1) time in his life ever that he had to wear them, his only takeaway from the experience is that they are a sensory nightmare that he will not be subjecting himself to under ANY circumstances.

Describe the place where they sleep. ooohhhh i think both at home in the inn and also to the greatest extent on the road possible, murdoc does cozy. i think his (+ his partner's) room at the inn is covered in like. throw pillows. nice big comfy sleeping pillows. lots of soft blankets. it's all very warm and inviting and kinda maximalist in a plush sort of way. i do think he cares about aesthetics and all his pillows and blankets look nice together, but everything is selected with comfort in mind. it's homey. it's warm. he's a hobbit. it's probably not particularly neat, but it's sort of charming in the way where it looks like a space that's meant to be curled up in. he probably accidentally leaves a few stray tea mugs about and this is his worst living space habit, but it adds to the charm as long as he remembers to actually keep up on putting them away (which. he does. he's just on top of it enough to make sure he has clean mugs to actually use for tea, but this may be the only reason he remembers). i think even on the road he'll bring as many blankets as is reasonable to carry and do his utmost not only to make his sleeping space, but the whole camp's, as cozy and welcoming as possible with whatever he has.

What is their favorite holiday? ohh see i don't know if i do know enough about specific hobbitish holidays offhand for this, but in general i do think murdoc is a holidays kind of person. anything sort of extrovert-oriented, where he can feast and dance and get drunk and just be around people, is very much his sort of thing. when he was growing up in the shire, any occasion where gandalf showed up with fireworks was an immediate favorite. for least favorite... i don't know how he feels about new year's (yule, in the hobbitish calendar). i don't think he hates it but. i think he's someone who lives with a bit of a sense of loss over who he was, or might have been, before his dreams and irmo and everything, and i think nostalgia-oriented celebrations grate just slightly up against that.

What objects do they always carry around with them? tea. lots of it. kept in his pockets. (he smells like it. it’s nice.) usually a particular brew (the flavor profile of which i imagine to be something like london fog) that he made for himself, which is very personal to him. a locket with his partner's portrait in it. an ornately carved matchbox, always full of matches, ready to light an arrow or for whatever else he may use his fire for. additionally, on the road: a jar in which he cultivates a toxic fungus, used for coating his weapons in tough battles. a set of his favorite cooking knives. a flask or two of his family’s ale, primarily used in his cooking, as ornate and pretty as all else he owns. (i will also give him that he most always is wearing jewelry, particularly his ruby necklace and earring set. the necklace in particular is important - usually maedhros resides in ríros’ sword, but the necklace is an ideal secondary vessel on the occasions that maedhros does have to remain where murdoc is, and murdoc has selected these pieces in maedhros’ colors for a reason).

as this has gotten LONG i will not try to do them for my new beloved tyelperëkko antar JUST yet. BUT @jaz-the-bard is planning to run a campaign set in gondolin in the first age and i am VERY excited for the character i have made. i’ve given them the oathsworn background. they’re going to be a loyal follower of maeglin, once he exists, but for NOW they’re a devotee of turgon. this is going to go great for them and cause no problems at all (lying).

this fucking idiot has been missing for three days, because my delightful mother can't remember to lock a door and ninjago legoman used the one fucking braincell he has to figure out how to open sliding doors. I know he'll be fine, but facebook people (all the lost pet pages are on there) are being SUPREMELY unhelpful telling me about their poor cats who got out for two days and were found on the side of the road who the fuck sAYS that to someone worried about their missing pet? The fuck?

As someone who is both easily frustrated and will be having a full-time job in the next five years, I might've bought all 498 Animal Crossing Amiibo cards (i bought the sanrio ones prior) because I don't want spend all that time villager hunting, especially once I start working 40 hours a week while still wanting to enjoy the game.